#stray kids reaction to self harm | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

failing-to-write-again · 11 months

Note

The sakamaki finds their self staring at their S/O baby/kids photos or maybe vice Vera, pick you’re favourite!

BABY PICTURES!!!

I'm picking both because I'm an indecisive lil'bitch, so this is part 1 with the Sakamakis seeing you as children. This took way longer than expected but I got bad writers block with Kanato, Laito, and Ayato in particular.

Part 2

TW: Some mildly degrading language, it comes with the DL terrotory, Laito calls reader a whore once.

Shu Sakamaki

Perhaps if you were less tired you would have heard the door creak open or felt the hallway's light hitting your eyes as he entered your room. While not requiring heat, it was a luxury Shu enjoyed indulging in it and you tended to give the best reactions to his cold fingers waking you.

This time though you looked exhausted, a long exam season having drained you more than he would have thought. Besides, it would be funniest if you had the energy to react well. So for now he was intent on joining you in dreamland. That was until his eyes strayed to your vanity where a book lay half open. A clearer look showed a small child grinning up at him, and the note "Sweet Pea's first contest" was scrawled on a slip of paper attached to the bottom left corner.

You were sat beside an older girl both in tutus your hair adorned with with a delicate tiara complimenting your light pink, glittery costume. It looked like you were matching the older girl who was dressed in the more traditional sugar plum fairy outfit. Flicking through the book it looked like you must still be a ballerina, he especially loved your first point shoe photo, you were beaming at yourself in a mirror while standing holding the bar.

The last photo was dated as being almost a year ago, you were stunning. On stage front and center leg held high being supported by your partner as you stared dainty upwards to the side, ironically you were also a sugar plum fairy. Except there was something much more ethereal compared to the first picture he saw, you must have been some prodigy to look this way. The spotlight had all of you glowing, the layers of tulle and jewels only accentuating your glow rather than causing it.

You also had a photo with a young girl after the show, a change in generations perhaps? But, you didn't look as happy. There was the arm of a man in the frame slightly, wearing some robe similar to Yui's dad. Flicking between the first and last photo there was a clear difference between your smile reaching your eyes. You looked so hollow compared to your younger self.

The noise of you stirring slightly and turning over is what brings him back to reality, looking at you now it would be a lie to say he ever saw you smile the way you do in these photos, a beaming toothy grin in an expression he could only call personified sunshine. Now, none of that was visible. What little joy was left in that photo of you and the child had been eradicated. You were paler, and more gaunt due to constant blood draining. You had bags heavy under your eyes and knots in your hair. Punctures littered your neck, painful angry marks unhealed and just left there to further your pain.

He never asked about your hobbies or life before the manor, he knew very little about your past what he had seen while at your least intruding to try minimize the harm his brother, no he was causing. He didn't like this feeling, a rolling unsettling feeling in his stomach. He couldn't look at you as he slunk away.

Reiji Sakamaki

"Seriously, must you be so rude to delay all of our journey home."

Pushing open the doors to the school library he met the sight of your head against a book out cold. Walking closer it was clear you had been studying for some time, a mixture of notes and books laid around you. Tutting, Reiji brushed some pencil shavings away noticing the golden chain wrapped around your fingers a small heart nestled in your palm.

Turning it over it fell open to reveal two halves, one empty the other revealing a young girl in the lap of two people, their heads were out of the frame. Picking up the locket to more closely examine it, the girl was holding a teddy bear with a big red bow matching the red dress she was in.

"They took that picture before they sent me off to the church"

"What?"

Turning his head back to face her, she had sat up and wiped her eyes. Resting her head in her hand and looking at his hand with some far away look in her eyes.

"The church that supplies your sacrifices, cults are always going to exist but yours is less popular than you know. So they trick people or offer to buy their children flat out. Some of the girls had seen their parents trying to get them back, tricked into believing the church was a boarding school. I'm not sure what mine believed, I never saw them again. I don't have any other pictures of them."

"You don't believe in the Church? Yui seems rather devoted still, I know how you humans work and-"

"Yui was raised in the Church by a leading priest who at least pretended to love her, I was shipped off and locked in a building raised to be killed. If you want to view the world as one dimensional, I'd like to remind you that it goes both ways. So I know you vampires are so incapable of managing yourselves you lose all decorum when blood is involved and have seemingly failed to learn how to wipe your mouth." She was sneering, evidently it was harder to hold her tongue freshly woken up. All he could focus on was the swirling pain in your eyes, it was the closest he'd ever seen her get to tears, it took him aback.

The silence seemed to only further solidify your upset, shaking your head and grabbing the locket and your bag before walking out of the library. Reiji hung back for a moment, almost reflective before turning back to the table. The notes were insightful, she had interacted with the material rather than the girls in the school that begged him for help. He had to wonder if perhaps he was using a less than adequate sample population...

Walking out to return to the limo he had to begin considering appropriate response to this outburst.

Ayato Sakamaki

"Yo, you better hurry up Ore-sama waits for no-one!"

"I'm showering, you're the one that came into my room." Scowling the red head dropped down onto your bed only to feel something poking him. Lifting the mattress revealed a flat tin box you had hidden suspiciously. Nosey as he is, he immediately opened the box to be faced with a collection of different photos. Some were of you in some school uniform with some friends, you look around 13 in some of them. Other, newer, photos have you in some brick building with those other girls, as well as some of the previous brides, some wore crosses similar to Yui's but you weren't. You were sat on a window ledge a small cupcake in your lap with those other brides living here, your eyes had that same hollow look you get when he insults you. The worse one though was a picture of you as a toddler, sat on a woman's lap with a tiny paper hat on your head. You were grinning in front of a cake lit up with 3 candles.

How dare you. Being so happy and hiding these expressions from him but showing them to other people. As this is crossing his mind he hears the door creaking open as you enter still drying your hair before freezing.

"How did you get that." You were trembling, eyes fixed on the box still in his lap.

"How dare you hide things for Ore-sama! You are mine nobody else's you have to give me everything. And this," He held up the box, shaking it to punctuate his words. "This is proof you are hiding things from yours truly!"

Tossing the box into the fire in a fit of rage, watching you cry as you try to save some of the photos. He eventually pulled you away, drinking you near faint and watching as you stumble trying to run away when he let you go. Watching as the flames slowly cause the photos to curl in on your small round face while you wait to blow out your candles. As well as listening as you sobbed just outside the door.

Kanato Sakamaki

Kanato had demanded to see what was in your suitcase the moment you had passed the doors into this hellhole. Thankfully Reiji had insisted that it was improper and due to his short attention span the purple haired menace had mostly forgotten. As weeks passed it had completely slipped your mind as you were far too preoccupied trying not to die. While walking through the halls of the manor back to your room after school your mind drifted to Kanato's bizarre behavior.

Kanato, for some reason, followed you around more than the other girls here, you were unsure how to feel about him all in all. He had moments where he was incredibly sweet and nice only to change in an instance with no predictability into screaming, violent rages. He was bad news, with no motivation or willingness to try change or improve you had to live in constant tension over what mood he'd be in. No better example came to mind that what you faced upon opening your door.

Kanato sat at the foot of your bed, your suitcase open and a scattered collection of pictures of you around them. Your heart was in your throat, unable to see his face to know how to act or run. Your hands were clammy, those photos were important to you and while you wouldn't mind showing people Kanato was ultimately a risk, he could rip them up or hurt you for having them.

"Hey, you were a cute child strawberry." Kanato was half facing you now, focusing on the picture in his hand you in a princess bouncy castle at your cousin's 5th birthday. You loved that one, you had dressed up as Rapunzel, you had a lilac tea dress on and your mother had bought fake hair to braid in with yours to extend its length. Gently stepping closer you explained this to Kanato, and about her being your favorite as a child.

"You can sit closer, I want you to tell me more." He didn't sound angry, rare for when he made demands. and you want it to stay that way. Sitting closer he also shifts to have his right knee brushing your leg as he sat crossed legged. He had his arm holding himself up behind you. Sitting in that pose, if it weren't for the clothes, he looks like a normal teenager.

He kept you there for over an hour it felt good to get to talk about your life before being a sacrifice. It was the longest you had ever seen him lucid. You eventually nod off, vaguely comprehending fingers slowly running through your hair and a blanket being draped around you.

Laito Sakamaki

Laito strikes a balance between crazy and insane that while still very much not sane, he's better at hiding it. For the past few months while here you've seen him slowly tailor his behavior to somewhat better suit you. While still a complete perv, once he realized his attempts at flirting didn't work he changed tactics, a few times, until there was this uneasy understanding between you both. You weren't friends or anything but his worst behaviors were saved for when he was hungry for the most part, other than that he was mostly just an annoyance. An annoyance currently not letting you take your time with the Sunday crossword. "8 across is isthmi, strip of land connecting two large areas separated by a body of water."

"I knew that."

"Is that why you took so long to write it down?" I could only glare as he sat there one hand holding up his head on the opposite end of the sofa. Chewing my cheek to stop a sly remark I twirled my pen before filling in the answer. It's been a few days since he's drank, too many smart remarks could have bad results.

Between answering hints that I was taking too long to figure out, Laito was playing with the other pages of the newspaper, folding them into aeroplanes to send across the room. Fiddling with one of his most recent planes absentmindedly, he began to speak.

"The real question is why do you do these crosswords when you're so bad at them." He was grinning as he looked up to see my reaction. However, unlike my normal remarks my face must've fallen because he looked incredibly confused.

"Oh? Strike a nerve little whore?~" He was all but purring, reveling in getting under my skin so effectively. All I could do in response is shake my head turning back to try focus on the crossword. About a minute of silence passed of pretending to focus on the page. Suddenly feeling breath near the back of my ear I flinch turning to see him hovering above me, arm on the headrest behind me and his other on the armrest caging me in. Panicking my breathing picked up as I tried to ensure as much distance between me and him as possible.

"Pictures," he mumbled. "The answer is pictures 4 down, you're not that bad...what are you thinking." He was staring straight at me, seeing straight through me. He reached back to his pocket before placing a familiar photo in front of me, the old crease down the center where I folded it in half to fit in my old uniform. It was a photo from the dormitories, I was 5 working on a crossword page torn from the paper while the older girls in the room were reading the paper and the younger ones played.

"I found it when going through your stuff to see what could be returned to you, can't have cellphones or anything useful for escape. Only to find this, some of those other girls are in the photo and just like every Sunday you ripped out the crossword page. Why?"

I didn't like this Laito, when he was just as sharp as his older brother's and not as easy to placate as the other two triplets. This Laito, who has now left me to share things I would've much rather keep private.

"Nowadays, the Church operates as a boarding school to draw in brides. You get there and you are cut off from the outside world, they tell us the girls run away when they're sent here. They wouldn't give us any real information, too many heretics in the world." Picking at the frayed edges of my hoodie's arm, I took a deep breath before continuing on. "I told the matron I liked crosswords, she did the weekly Sudoku, so since I was young I knew she thought I wouldn't break any rules. I would tear out the crossword page to do while the older girls read the paper to collect any news on disappearances and just on the greater world in general. I would return the paper and say I tore out the crossword to keep to see how my timing improved. Now it's just a habit that paper will never say anything about us or anything that can help right."

I saw him sit back out of the corner of my eye. Readying myself to be bitten or mocked I kept looking down.

"You still stick your tongue out when you focus, its cute."

Before I could even look up he was gone.

Subaru Sakamaki

Out of all the Sakamaki brothers, Subaru was by far the safest. His anger was predictable and mostly posed a risk to furniture over you, even his bites were gentle and so long as he didn't rush off he would seal the wound with what you had dubbed 'nasty healing spit'. So when he unofficial began acting as your bodyguard you didn't complain, or even acknowledge it out of fear he would stop and leave you to the bats.

The new routine was by far the most peaceful you had experienced in some time. You ate your breakfast on your balcony watching the sunset before the white haired shadow took his place brooding nearby. This 'morning' was no different, you set eating your breakfast as you looked through a small pile of photos that the computer club had salvaged from the remnants of your phone. As the sky faded from orange, to purple, to the dark blue of summer nights and stars began to appear in the sky you sat back, eying the door waiting for his appearance.

Your door opened, his figure being somewhat visible through the sheer curtains as he yawned. Once he pulled the curtain back to step outside he scowled seeing you waiting, but when did he not? He silently placed himself leaning against the door frame while you remained seated.

"You can sit closer you know. I don't bite, promise!" Grinning up at Subaru while his scowl worsened.

"You aren't going to last long if you have that attitude stupid."

"I thought we had an agreement, most liars don't call themselves liars."

"I'm a vampire, you shouldn't be so careless if you value your life."

Sighing and turning back to your pictures, you both continued to sit in silence. It took 5 minutes for Subaru to give in and move closer. You were still going through the photos not acknowledging his movement. If there's anything you've learnt it's that if you ever point out Subaru's behavior he runs away, ironic for such a fearsome creature. After he had some time to work up the courage he pointed to one in your hand.

"Who's that?"

The photo was of you wearing some roller skates at a roller disco party, you were 7 or 8. Your wrists covered in sparkly wrist bands and plasters covering your knees and palms from how much you had slipped practicing to avoid embarrassment.

"It's me at one of my friend's birthday party, About a year after this I first got sent to this boarding school linked to the Church. After a few years I was cut off from everyone and sent here. That was the last time I saw her actually, she moved away."

The albino nodded in understanding before once again entering into a lapse of silence. He kept looking back to that photo while you organized the rest of the pile, wrapping the photos in a piece of paper to prevent any sun or dust damage. Standing back up and collecting your belongings you looked to him expectantly. However, he just continued to stare off into the distance.

Weighing up your options and how much you currently valued your life, you leaned down to tap his shoulder. Aside from a minor jolt he seemed more receptive to you. Passing over the photo you were smiling.

"I don't want to look at this it makes me sad, but it seemed to catch your attention to here."

#shu sakamaki #reiji sakamaki #ayato sakamaki #kanato sakamaki #laito sakamaki #subaru sakamaki #diabolik lovers #diabolik lovers imagine #diabolik lovers headcanon #diaboys #shu sakamaki x reader #reiji sakamaki x reader #ayato sakamaki x reader #kanato sakamaki x reader #laito sakamaki x reader #subaru sakamaki x reader

906 notes · View notes

sourbinnie · 1 year

Text

ღ guide ღ

hello ¡!

this is sourbinnie's guide to requests & masterlists

▽ who is sourbinnie ¿? ▽

a writer from argentina / a crazy boy inspired by songs / a 22 year old with too much free time (or not) / a cat lover (that's it)

▽ what does he write ¿? ▽

angst mostly but also fluff, smut & other universe type of stuff. mostly concentrate on idol x reader though (i'm not that creative i'm sorry). mostly inspired by songs that i have on my playlist so yeah very music driven.

▽ can i request ¿? ▽

ofc! all requests are welcome any time. you provide me the plot or just say which genres and what you want to include on the fic + which idol you want me to write for & i'll do the work.

▽ what don't you write ¿? ▽

i don't write violence scenarios like pushing, hitting, slapping or whatever can be classified under it. i also don't write self harm or abuse because it's too triggering for my personal liking. another thing that i don't write is shipping, i don't mind if other people do it but personally i don't see myself doing that.

▽ what type of writing do you do ¿? ▽

you can request reactions or scenarios + imagines + most likely + songfics.

▽ what groups do you write for ¿? ▽

stray kids + seventeen + enhypen + bts + got7 + ateez + nct (all subunits) + tomorrow x together + monsta x

learning about (so i can write for them too) -> exo + ikon + treasure + the boyz + cravity

▽ can i request for a female/male reader ¿? ▽

ofc! i usually write in gender neutral so everyone can be included but if you desire for me to write for you with she/her or he/him pronouns, i don't mind.

▽ why are #thoughts not in the masterlist ¿? ▽

i will tag #thoughts with their respective genres so you can browse through them, they're not my main imagines so i don't count them in the masterlists.

#sourbinnie

99 notes · View notes

corvidrogue · 2 months

Text

Someone on curiouscat asked me abt my modern trigun au but I wrote 3k words and cc only allows 3k characters so...woe, exposition be upon ye

cw: child abuse/neglect, suicide, self harm, emotional incest, alcoholism. if that's not all of them/if u see something that should be added, please lmk!!!

ok so the gist of the au is as such:

the identity disclaimer: the twins are fraternal. vash is a trans man and knives is apathetic toward his assigned gender – tends to use he/they if pressed to identify. at certain points in their lives knives has leveraged his gender/sex and their twinhood to shut down speculation on vash’s gender/sex by claiming they’re actually identical/mirror twins.

vash and knives were the second and third child of their family, fraternal twins raised mostly by their older sister tesla who was a few years older than they were and entirely too young to be taking care of children

vash was initially raised as a girl, but he’d do things like take nai’s clothes, want nai’s haircut, etc etc etc.

the twins were launched into the foster system when they were very young after they found tesla collapsed at home, and she passed in the hospital. nai had wanted to call their parents; vash had called an ambulance. it led to a CPS case and the twins being taken away in a neglect/abuse case – tesla had been struggling with a chronic condition the twins didn’t know about and the parents didn’t seek treatment for.

vash has always blamed himself for “breaking apart their family” – if he’d let nai call their parents maybe they’d still have them, but if he’d called the ambulance immediately instead of arguing maybe tesla would have had a better chance to live. a lot of internal conflict for a kid in primary school…

rem agreed to foster them, not necessarily intending to keep them, but even in a nurturing environment vash continued to struggle. rem let him present however was comfortable but that was only a small fraction of what he was dealing with. he and nai got very codependent but he didn’t want to “add to nai’s troubles” and things spiraled until vash attempted suicide

rem found him. she was there with him in the hospital afterward. she was there before they let nai in and when vash finally spilled his guts, rem realized how badly she needed to keep these kids. how badly they needed someone in their corner, something they’d never had, something she was uniquely positioned to provide. she could empathize with them. and it was an all-around terrible situation, but it felt like a push. and vash finally opening up to her felt like a sign, if not from alex then from…something.

it was after vash’s attempt that nai started getting difficult. vash was, of course, guilty and ashamed bc he’d managed to ruin his sibling’s life even more. knives had now decided that vash needed someone to look after him, not the other way around – vash, in trying to protect nai, had closed him out. now nai, in trying to protect vash, locked him into a safe little box and never let him out again.

what followed was years of vash practicing every form of quietly self-destructive behavior in the books, and some louder ones, and knives appointing himself his brother’s keeper. rem did her best to support both boys and help them grow but there would inevitably be things that slipped through the cracks – she couldn’t control how they structured their own inner world. she could get vash support when she found him self-harming but she couldn’t control how he and knives interacted around it.

vash would get into trouble a lot through middle and highschool for being scattered, inattentive, or for catching strays when nai acted out. nai would do things to get a reaction out of vash, to try to control him – they decided who was a good friend for vash, who was a bad friend for vash, who was allowed to place anywhere near as important to vash as knives was. (no one was allowed to be as important to vash as knives was.) it took some considerable time for vash to really wise up to how toxic nai actually was about him, and longer still to start feeling like the safe little box nai kept him in was too small

the only “main cast” member who’s really present before college age is wolfwood – he went to their school, was a year or two under them, and vash had a bit of a crush on him but for obvious reasons never pursued

the twins ended up not finishing highschool bc of The Accident in eleventh grade – another one of nai’s dumb escapades. he liked to explore abandoned/dangerous places, thought himself just generally above other people and their rules. would always tell vash it’s fine, xyz rule is for people too stupid to know better. but we’re smart. and vash couldn’t really argue because they were taking AP courses and they had made up the academic time they’d missed after The Tesla Incident so like???

in his mind, at least if nai was going to do something stupid, vash was going to be there to make sure he didn’t get hurt.

he really didn’t want to go into the old mill, he wanted to stay at home and finish watching some show, and they argued about it but nai was gonna go alone and needed a spotter. nai ended up breaking something/almost getting hurt while they were arguing (again) but when vash tried to stop him, it was vash who got hurt instead – he ended up getting his arm caught and crushed and almost got his head caved in and it was just all very terrible, nai freaked out, the only thing he could do was call EMS and it felt like tesla all over again. vash bled everywhere and in the ambulance all nai could think of was the fact that he didn’t have the correct blood type to give to vash. because they weren’t actually identical twins. this wasn’t the first time vash nearly died but it was the first time nai was there for it.

nai ended up the guilty one after this, vash coded on the way to the hospital and ended up in surgery. afterward nai would help him in any way he could – finding binders that vash could get into and out of since The Accident delayed the top surgery vash and rem had been scheduling. helping with physical therapy. driving him to and from appointments so rem wasn’t constantly in and out of work. he kept vash moving. he kept vash eating. same as he always had.

but vash had already started outgrowing his box and now he was chafing for space. he knew what this was, he knew he was on suicide watch again. and “same as knives always had” was suffocating him more than ever.

vash gets his arm from one of rem’s friends/colleagues in biomed – it’s experimental and proprietary and they have to drive like four hours to have it worked on, but it’s years ahead of any other adaptive equipment he’d have access to back home. it’s not a huge issue to take out a day when he has an appointment

until college apps come around and vash only applies for schools on the east coast.

until nai finds out that vash does not want to go to a single school nai wants to go to, and doesn’t want nai applying to any of the ones he’s applying to.

until the vague idea of “escape” that vash had unknowingly chased ever since tesla died (escape from what?) became brilliantly, unquestionably real.

he and nai fought a LOT leading up to leaving for uni. and while at uni. nai ended up going into biology closer to home. nai would text a lot, even though vash was bad at responding. they had one agreement that vash had allowed: if knives called, vash would always pick up the phone.

after all the screaming matches they’d gotten into, this was a privilege he knew better than to abuse.

vash ends up stumbling through two years of gen ed courses, nosing his way into horticulture. he makes a friend, meryl, who’s originally from kinda close to where he grew up. they navigate the inklings of crushes before he realizes he’s just starved for friends and meryl just adores him platonically. nai visits once or twice in vash’s first semester, but after an argument in the car where nai questions every single fucking one of vash’s life choices and vash threatens to drive them both into a ditch, vash has to place some more boundaries.

the twins actually go fully non-contact for a while. it's rough on rem, tbh.

vash slogs his way through classes. he hangs out with meryl and her girlfriend, milly. he gets into situations because he can’t say no, and gets out of them either uncomfortably or only because the girls bail him out. he spends weekends camping in the ugly red camper van that he picked up secondhand and loves to death. he starts spending weeknights camping sometimes, too.

early in his fifth semester, Vash drops out of college. he spends the next two and a half years living out of his camper, making his way across the contiguous US (and has a brief dip into canada!)

rem hates it, but she’s not exactly equipped to stop him. she just makes him check in frequently, give updates, keeps him on the phone bill and health insurance. she listens when vash says he doesn’t want to talk to nai. she knows he’s spent huge chunks of his time in therapy working on his relationship with nai. she knows nai is still in therapy trying to be normal about vash. all she can do is be there for both of them.

vash ends up getting a little bit instagram famous because he’s always posting beautiful views, local food spots, pictures of the dogs he’s petting. he names his van the stampede because meryl said once that it sounded like one when it had a broken part that took him a bit to fix. he goes off his adhd meds, and that gets rough sometimes, but not as rough as it would be when he’d run out of them at uni. he picks up gig work, helps people out, drives for food delivery apps. he tries new things. he drinks too much, but always stays careful about driving – he’s a terrible enough driver already. he sleeps around, realizes it does nothing for him, stops sleeping around. he has weird skills and hobbies and he picks up more weird skills And hobbies.

he makes friends and acquaintances. he pisses people off. he gets into situations because he can’t say no, and gets out of them uncomfortably. he learns how to say no. sometimes he has to learn the hard way.

he puts string lights up in his van and clips polaroids to them, pictures of his favorite donut shops and old selfies with milly and meryl, postcards he’s picked up. he sends postcards back home to rem, sometimes to the girls. once or twice he even sends one to nai, when he’s feeling brave. when he’s feeling particularly lonely.

he does a lot of growing on the road, while knives does a lot of growing at home.

they text more. vash calls sometimes, tentatively, just to chat. knives tries to be normal about it and vash can feel him trying. sometimes nai succeeds, sometimes the attention makes him insufferable. it’s a gamble. sometimes vash is glad he called, sometimes it leaves him feeling sticky and uncomfortable inside.

nai is, of course, dean’s list double major academic prodigy wow what a stellar student. they make friends with a bunch of dysfunctional queers (enter the gung-ho guns, but not necessarily LR – they join once people start to move back home, being wolfwood’s little brother) and, much to knives’s ire, the kid vash had that annoying crush on in high school is here – nicholas d. wolfwood. even more to knives’s ire, nick ends up in the friend group. they end up roommates. knives doesn’t know it but nick also…had a bit of a crush on vash in high school, but the twins fell out of touch with everyone so. nick doesn’t really know what’s up with vash anymore. he occasionally hears knives arguing on the phone, though, and nai never deigns to elaborate past the occasional “my idiot brother.”

wolfwood for his part grew up in a catholic orphanage and was never lucky enough to get adopted out. college is kind of him learning how to be a person, learning what it means to be bisexual and that it’s okay, and nai is awful and caustic and mean but they take no bullshit from anyone and they don’t really stand for their people being fucked with. so wolfwood has some terrible experiences, but he finds some really supportive friends in some really chaotic, terrible people. (like elendira…THE woman ever)

eventually vash just… starts to get tired. it starts to get tough to keep himself afloat and he starts talking to rem about moving home – what’s feasible, some sort of three year plan at least, etc. he’s not used to planning ahead but they work it out, a few months later the Stampede is a blight upon rem’s neighborhood. vash lives with her until he can find a stable job – he picks up more gig work, security for events, works as a barista and manages to net full-time which isn’t great but it helps him put some money away. someone is putting at least two square meals in him each day, something that hasn’t happened in a long time. he’s now within an hour of knives but he keeps a careful distance – baby steps. neither of them is really sure how to re-engage…but they want to.

they’d like to be normal brothers.

vash buys rem flowers whenever he can and he ends up befriending the owner of the florist/nursery. she’s a regular at the cafe where he works too. eventually he manages to start working for her, makes some more money, nails down a place of his own. fills it with plants. starts putting down roots for real.

meanwhile wolfwood is working at a nearby funeral home as an undertaker. and one day he’s running to pick up an order of funeral bouquets because the guy who was supposed to pick them up is out sick and the last thing he expects is to run into vash saverem from high school???

they end up hitting it off. they end up hanging out a lot. knives HATES it…but he has to admit that if someone is gonna come onto his brother, it might as well be nick. at least he begrudgingly accepts nick as trustworthy and respectable

the vashwood kicks off specifically at the twins’ birthday party, when vash follows his time honored tradition of saving his most impossible wishes for blowing out the candle. he never asks for presents or talks about his wishes, and when ppl press him about gifts he gets visibly uncomfortable. and the way he acts about it sets something off in wolfwood, but wolfwood just chews on it until they have a moment alone. stepping out for some fresh air, and a smoke. and vash gives him this almost sleepy, content-for-once look and asks what's eating him, because he can tell. and he's so open and sweet right in that moment that wolfwood folds and the question does slip out. “what's your birthday wish, for real?”

vash is just compromised enough not to think before he says “to date the prettiest boy i know,” just drunk enough not to register what he said and who he said it to before he's booping wolfwood's nose and patting his cheek and wandering back to re-engage with the group and there's something! about him! that makes wolfwood! so! sad! because he just basically told wolfwood that he's into him, and then walked away like he didn't expect wolfwood to do anything about it. like he didn't even consider it being reciprocated.

anyways vash is a remembers-it-all drinker but he acts like that didn’t happen at all, later. and wolfwood chews on that for a few days before finally the two of them are cleaning up after a totally platonic, totally friendly, not gay at all stay-in movie night at vash’s place. finally wolfwood just corners vash into bringing That up, and hits him with the “i also want that” which stumbles into vash trying to play it off and give wolfwood an out to not take it seriously/not be obligated, but wolfwood is Very Serious. and i have this snippet from the master doc: “vash just looking at wolfwood and searching his face, enough faith in wolfwood to know that he's dead serious but not enough faith in himself to be able to measure up to what wolfwood deserves.”

it’s a gamble and they’re both afraid and vulnerable but they’ve also been hanging out SO much and they’ve become SUCH good friends. and meryl has heard vash agonizing SO much about how hot and kind and sweet and thoughtful wolfwood is – not entirely realizing that most of that? that’s just for him. wolfwood is kind, yeah, but he’s not that nice to anyone other than vash…except maybe kids.

anyways they kiss and they start dating after this and that’s how the funeral home/flower shop au trope grabbed me by the throat and dragged me through every layer of hell

oh also in this au, kuroneko is a public figure like pusheen or hello kitty but wolfwood’s cat is a feral who he fed too many times and vash cajoled him into keeping her and named her kuroneko. “because she looks like her!” to which wolfwood pointed out that it’s not hard for a black cat to look like a cartoon of a black cat. but he did keep her. and she is as spoiled as vash is.

#my trigun #my aus #rambling #tag later

4 notes · View notes

autistic-clownfish · 11 months

Text

Something I will never understand is people letting the bitterness overtake them. It’s okay to be angry about your situation. It sucks. Being autistic fucking sucks. I can barely work. I can’t really cook for myself. I need help cleaning. I can’t drive. I can’t walk around town safely by myself. I’m too paranoid to stray far from my house. I need someone to put me to bed each night. I have three different sets of earplugs on my keys for different occasions to try and balance my sensory needs and my ability to hear clearly. I hate how dependent I am.

Being trans sucks too. People are awful. I get misgendered constantly. The dysphoria is eating me up inside.

But guess the fuck what? That self diagnosed kid on TikTok with level 1 autism who loves being autistic isn’t actively harming anyone! Is it annoying? Yes! Is my immediate reaction to roll my eyes? Sometimes. But guess what? I’m not going to bully a kid who feels like have finally found themselves and can happily unmask. I’m not getting into battles of who has it worse because you can never, ever know.

That non dysphoric nonbinary kid with dyed hair and piercings? Good for them, I’m glad they know how to express themselves and that they’re not suffering from dysphoria.

Every day, I choose to be a nice person. I actively have to make that choice because the world has been cruel and unrelenting. But there are good, kind people out there and they have done nothing to deserve my anger.

I refuse to be mean.

I refuse to be a bully.

I refuse to be bitter and spiteful.

It’s a choice you have to actively make. You’re not inherently good or bad. You have to think about your words and choose them carefully. You have to imagine the person in front of you is already hurting and has been through the wars. Because you can never know. And kindness should always be your first response.

Never assume malice where ignorance will suffice.

That isn’t to say you should be a doormat. If someone is mistreating you’ll stand up for yourself! But don’t be cruel to people who have done nothing to deserve it.

#autistic #level 2 autism #level 2 autistic #actually autistic #disabled #choose kindness

18 notes · View notes

dean-a-mean-tae · 4 months

Text

DEANAMEANTAE's Request Guidelines

Hello, gorgeous! This is a side blog. If you want to request something, please use the ask box. You can do it anonymously or not. It’s up to you.

ASKs

You DO NOT have my permission to put any of my work into an AI.

You DO NOT have my permission to repost my work anywhere.

━ I write for Stray Kids, but I might write for BTS if you can give me an idea.

━ Types of things I write: Reactions, drabbles, one-shots, and headcanons. ━ If I get enough inspiration, I might make a second part or mini-series from your request.

━ I might do a prompt event in the future. In the meantime, if you want to give me a prompt, tell me where you found it so I can give credit.

━ If you request Member(s) x Reader, it will be written in the second person. (Using you and your)

━ I will not write smut on my own accord. But if you give me your hard thoughts or something, I might expand on them 👀

*.·:·Will Do.·:·.*

Genre(s): Fluff, Angst, Crack(goofy stuff), Hurt/Comfort, Steamy (leading into smut)

Romantic, Platonic, Parental/Child/Teen/Baby Reader

Write for Female readers, Male Readers, Non-binary (Gender neutral, if you will) readers, and Trans Readers. Tell me, and I’ll try.

(I might add more here.)

*.·:·Will NOT Do.·:·.*

Genre(s): Noncon, DDLG (NSFW), Hard Yandere, Watersports (piss kink) (If I ever get into smut, I refuse to do watersports)

Present abuse, Self Harm, Incest, Perverts, Sexual Assualt

(I might add more here.)

*.·:·Needed In Request.·:·.*

Character, Fandom, Reader Gender

Content (What you want the request to be about)

Please include any other information you want (Like disabilities, the reader's race, specific (or not) tattoos, piercings, or whatever.)

THE MORE DETAILED THE BETTER! ━ I don't care how long the request is. ━ Details help me write it and get it out faster.

🚨DISCLAIMER🚨

If you do not specify a gender, the reader will automatically have gender-neutral pronouns. I am Non-Binary.

©️DEANAMEANTAE

#skz x reader #stray kids x reader #skz x male reader #stray kids x male reader #stray kids x black reader #stray kids x chubby reader

2 notes · View notes

bengiyo · 1 year

Text

A Shoulder To Cry On Ep 4 Stray Thoughts

Yesterday, we confirmed that Da-yeol unfortunately has feelings for Tae-hyun when they were locked in a storage shed together. After getting some advice from his rival, Da-yeol opted to ignore Cho Tae-hyun and focus on archery. Tae-hyun confronted him about this, and now we're about to learn about Tae-hyun's trauma.

Trigger Warning: Self harm (15:13-15:24), Blood (16:28-16:44, 20:28-20:32, 20:41-21:43, 20:58-21:50)

Episode 4: An Arrow with No Regrets

Ah, yes, he's been a mess since he was a kid.

Okay, the aunt is mean. How dare you tell a child their drawing is terrible? Then she implies that he could be sent back to the orphanage? And she struck him! WTF!?!

Few things consistently radicalize me about making places more walkable than the constant car violence of these dramas.

I'm very nervous about a character who feels this compelled to punish himself for others, and yet he was so cruel to Da-yeol earlier.

I'd also be pissed if I felt like my rival through the match.

Only your rival can say, "You better not lose the next match," after you beat them.

At least Tae-hyun knows he's a bully.

I like the Da-yeol voiceover reaction since we had already seen what happened to the mom.

Chemistry can really do a lot to sell a difficult pairing. It's not romantic enough yet for me, but their time as bandmates is making this work.

I'm feeling alright about this show now, so I'll see it the rest of the way through.

#a shoulder to cry on meta #a shoulder to cry on #korean bl #bl series #Ben watches

15 notes · View notes

beautifulpersonpeach · 1 year

Note

BPP I sent you an ask abt this topic months ago & I understand why you didn't post it. I've been following you since last year, I love how you approach topics & I know you hate stupid drama. My ask was a bit controversial & I get why you didn't post it. But I saw sth today again that I can't forget. So I'm asking you again & I'll add more info to it so pls give me your honest answer.

I'm 36 years old, from Romania but now living in Germany. I got into kpop at 2020 through BTS & quickly fell down the rabbit hole. Then I discovered other idols I like Weeekly, Stray Kids, Exo, Girls Generation, Tayeon, Shinee, Super Junior, TXT, Nct & some others. Kpop was big world for me & made me happy with the new concepts & personalities. My father was very abusive & I've struggled with suicidal ideations for most of my life. BTS love yourself music made me go back to therapy. I consumed their music from the beginning because the thought of No More Dream & me not having to have dreams, lifted a weight off me. Funnyly, not feeling obligated to have dreams made me find my dream of working with special needs people. I feel more fulfilled than I've ever felt. I thank BTS because their music was to sincere it reached me. My bias is Jungkook but I understand why he fell for RM. His struggles with mental health sounded like my own. His honesty in those topics was like he opened my head & written down my thoughts. I have shared this on twitter before & some people did not respond well. This is when I sent you the ask before but I understand if you didn't want to say your mind at that time. But BPP, I shared this in a kpop discord today & some people shut me down again. They told me BTS only sang abt mental health because their company had no money for other topics. They told me it was marketing strategies. They said Hybe surveyed fans for mental illnesses & only made music abt mental health because the fandom is sick. When I tried to mention RM & his older songs they got even more angry.

I was shocked & hurt. I left the discord. The shocking thing for me is it was my friend who was saying it. I thought she of all people wld understand because she is a fan of Shinee. I thought she wld understand how important mental health is for me & for people. I tried to share BTS lyrics but they did not care & the more I shared the more they mocked me. I don't understand this reaction. It hurt me & made me question everything. Which survey are they talking abt? Was it before No More Dream? They made it sound like I was stupid to believe BTS truly wrote abt their mental health. They said nobody in BTS truly cares abt this topic & Hybe only marketed the topic to fans for money. I know it's stupid but I feel hurt & confused. My Shinee friend was so angry I don't understand her reaction at all. I'm trying to think through the songs. I know marketing is something Hybe did but every singer does marketing. Does it mean the songs are not sincere? Can not both things be true together?

Hi Anon,

This was... hard to read, but I appreciate you taking the time to write out your thoughts. I vaguely remember the ask you sent earlier and I ignored it because around that time, I was getting asks that appeared written obviously to bait, and because your ask mentioned a multi / anti dismissing your experience (and goading you into self harm?), it seemed too on the nose with drama happening elsewhere at the time so I deleted it. Now I realize that was a mistake, so I'm sorry.

I doubt this is news for you following your experience, but the default thinking of k-pop stans is to reduce BTS's music and their own comments about their music, to marketing or something otherwise orchestrated by the company without significant input from BTS. This is the reasoning you'll see several k-pop stans espouse no matter the platform you're on, and I've seen this said about BTS since their debut regardless of the topic or music concept. K-pop stans' own experiences with their own favourite groups in k-pop - groups that do in fact rely overwhelmingly on mediaplay, marketing, and music written by a company for idols, are what informs their views so try not to take anything they say personally. These people can only speak based on what they know.

About the Love Yourself series in particular being the result of marketing or a fan survey:

Personally, I question the intelligence of anyone who offers such a reductive explanation. It's really that simple. Like if you actually understand what this industry is, if you have all the facts at your disposal, if you're aware of the environment in which BTS operated first as South Koreans after the economic crash and as under-supported idols in that industry, and your conclusion is that the Love Yourself musical direction was primarily a marketing gimmick, there's no choice for me but to question your intelligence.

One thing you'll never see me making light of, is an idol speaking about the mental toll this business takes on them, or of the artist grappling with what that means for them. However they express those thoughts, I'll take it, regardless of whether or not it meets more elaborate or insightful expressions I've seen in other artists.

You will not find me trivializing it in any way, shape, or form.

There's already too much cynicism in this industry, and the clinical approach with which Western commentators dissect minority artists, is all too familiar to me. It reeks of something... rancid.

And this is besides the fact that too often, these commentators are also willfully ignorant of the background the artists are coming from that informs their music, and nowhere will you see this more often than with BTS.

I recall the asks I was getting earlier this year about Jin's Proof clip comments, how many people completely missed the lyrical references to Moon - the most personal fan song he'd written at that time, according to him. Then to see those themes reiterated in The Astronaut, written by Jin and Coldplay, and once again the lyrical references he's consistently made about the fans' impact on his growth, going completely over their heads.

Dismissal of BTS's lyrics frustrates me especially because more than anything else, the thing that has always set BTS apart from the rest of their peers and the industry, even before their breakout on the international front in 2017, is their lyrical expression. Like, most of the people who are K-ARMYs today, became ARMYs because of what BTS were singing about and how they sang about it. It was not common for idols to write their own lyrics. So BTS mostly writing their own lyrics, noting what they were writing about and the stigma it still very much carried... it sometimes blows my mind that even now, a lot of people really don't understand how much of a gamble this approach was for them in terms of pure commercial results given the status quo at the time.

It's times like that I wish that either BTS were fluent English speakers with an American background so those references would carry over easier, or that only Korean people were exposed to BTS. Because at some point, the ignorance is almost painful for me to witness. And this is me being 100% honest.

Anyway, the simple answer to your question of what exactly happened to you in that discord, is that you're simply watching people respond to the incentives the k-pop industry provides. Exploring mental health issues and the relationships idols have with those who have influenced them including fans, is deep and meaningful when an artist they like and respect explores this topic, and banal and vapid when an artist they typically pick apart, does the same. Again, when I talk about how competition informs virtually every aspect of k-pop, this is yet another example of what I mean. Shawols and multis are not immune to this, and neither are ARMYs. Anon, I understand how hurtful your experience was, but please recognize it for what it is and don't take it personally.

The survey your Shawol friend is referring to is a marketing survey BigHit uploaded on October 1, 2017 - I've linked that full survey here. That this survey was a HYBE-orchestrated mass propaganda event which created the Love Yourself series and made BTS talk about mental health, is a common myth you'll find in k-pop spaces where people don't know how to count.

The Love Yourself: Her album was released on September 18, 2017 and BTS had mentioned preparing for that album, including writing the songs on it, since December 2015 - ~2 years before the survey. And of course BTS had been exploring those topics since before their debut in 2013.

To quote an ARMY who has exhaustively debunked this myth 3 years ago, 'mental health' is not even the primary focus of the Love Yourself album series "as Namjoon explained in every interview, the idea behind love yourself is that true love (her) cannot last (tear) without honesty, courage & self-love, which should be celebrated (answer)."

The contents of the survey itself didn't deviate much from the bi-annual BTS fancafe membership surveys (asking about age, country background, how you discovered BTS, etc), typical MBTI questions (such as those BTS themselves answered in their 2022 Seasons Greetings - quiz questions that are typically popular with Korean teens), and fan quizzes sometimes done around Festa (such as the Festa exams last year). On old BPP I wrote a detailed post about that survey so if this is something you're interested in reading, let me know and I'll dig it up to repost.

Anon, I'm sorry the interactions you've had with some k-pop fans affected you so negatively in an area you already feel vulnerable in. I'm not sure the exact nature of your friendship with this Shinee fan, but you're a 36 year old woman who has developed a passion for helping some of the most vulnerable people, you're a big girl doing good in your community, and who happens to have found comfort and joy in BTS's music. You don't have to engage with people who treat you and what you love spitefully for no good reason. Decide for yourself if it's worth it remaining in that space, and act in a way that prioritizes your peace of mind.

And stream The Astronaut. I'm sure you'll be fine.

Good luck. 💜

#fandom behavior #bts army #army fandom #army multis #kpop industry #kpop fandom #bts marketing #bts love yourself

16 notes · View notes

onlyhuis · 1 year

Text

onlyhuis guidelines.

keep in mind i am a student so with school, work, and life, i may not be fast about answering requests. i will do my best to answer as many as i can, but i reserve the right to decline any request regardless of whether or not it breaks my guidelines. i really try to get thru all of them, but i get busy and it may not happen! please don't take it personally :)

requests & interaction guidelines

minors will be hard blocked. i write adult nsfw content and i am not comfortable interacting with anyone under 18. i can't stop you from reading, but do not interact with me.

blank and ageless blogs will be blocked on this blog ( @onlyhuis ) but you can send an ask to my main blog @wenjunehui and i will unblock once you add your age!

i am usually lenient about spam likers, but please remember i'm a real person and flooding my notifs with empty likes doesn't feel good. it's okay to read many of my fics at once, but consider leaving a comment or reblogging once in a while!

asks are always welcome! feel free to send links, photos, whatever you want :)

please read this whole post before sending a request to make sure it's something i'm comfortable with. if you're not sure about something just ask, i'm happy to clarify!

please be kind when requesting! it doesn't cost any extra effort to ask politely instead of demanding that i write something without so much as a 'please' or 'thank you'. remember that i am a stranger to you, and i do this for fun in my free time because i enjoy it. if you want to keep reading my fics and want me to keep writing, a little kindness goes a long way!

if you want to claim an emoji just let me know!! there is no requirement to be an emoji anon, i love all my anons so please don't be shy i won't bite <3

reader notes

all my fics will be either fem/afab reader or gn reader x idol. i won't write idol x idol on its own, but there will be mxm in fics that feature poly relationships. — overall i try my best not to include any descriptions of reader's body type (unless requested; ie. tall/short reader reactions, etc). while i try to keep the reader as neutral as possible, i write from my own experiences and it's possible i may include something that gives the impression of a certain type of reader/body, so if you encounter that please let me know and i am happy to correct it!

because of my own identity, i don't feel comfortable writing about these because i don't want to misrepresent experiences or identities that i don't personally share:

male/amab reader — trans reader — aro or ace reader — specific races or cultural/ethnic backgrounds — specific nationality (country) — chubby/fat reader

writing guidelines

💭 who i write for 💭

seventeen ot13 — txt ot5 — stray kids ot8 — ateez ot8 — enhypen hyung line (heeseung, jay, jake, sunghoon only) i will always write and take requests for seventeen! they are my ult group and i'm most comfortable writing about them. for the other groups, i will only take requests for drabbles, headcanons, reactions, texts, and mtl; i don't take requests for longer fics just because i don't feel i know them as well as svt enough to do them justice.

🟢 will always write (ok to request!) 🟢

non-idol au — established relationship — dom!idol — clear consent — happy endings — unprotected piv sex — breeding/creampie — subspace — weed & alcohol use — college au — choking, marking, spanking — dacryphilia — degradation/humiliation — multiple members (threesome, poly, etc.) — parent!idol or reader — anything else not listed under yellow or red

🟡 sometimes ok (ok to request, but i may choose not to write it) 🟡

butt stuff (anal, pegging, etc.) — a/b/o or hybrid au — pet play — high school au — weapons — pregnancy — period related things — cheating/infidelity — idol au

🔴 will not write (do not request) 🔴

major character death — pedophilia/underage reader or idol — noncon/dubcon — incest — piss/vomit/anything of that nature — foot fetish — lactation — age play/ddlg — self harm/eating disorders/mental illnesses — drug abuse/addiction — extreme toxicity, abuse, manipulation, yandere, etc. — unhappy endings

#[🎟️] — navi

9 notes · View notes

changbinslovelylegs · 2 years

Text

GUIDELINES AND REQUEST RULES

Hiiiiiiiiiii

Welcome to my blog, I do hope you enjoy your time with me x

Here are a few things just to help you before following and or interacting

About me? I love chocolate, cuddles, sitcoms, k dramas, huge foodie, Hufflepuff, Cancer sign, love to bake, love to read ovby, love smut ovby ahaha, Harry Potter fan, vampire dairies fan, HIMYM fan, gossip girl fan!!!!

My ults?

Seonghwa/Wooyoung/Hongjoong for atz

Yoongi/Jimin/Taehyung for bts

Hyunjin/Minho/Chan for skz

Other groups I stan but don't write for: txt, mx, exo, svt, nct, shinee, the rose, got7, sf9

- My inbox is always open for a chat so please feel free to say hi

- Reblogs and feedback are heavily encouraged because it makes me happy and inspires me to keep writing

- Minors dni, my blog is for 18+ only, if I see any minors interacting they will be blocked

- Dni also if your: racist, homophobic, sexist, post about self harm or death (Also if I think your a bot please don't have a blank blog)

Please read before requesting!!!!!

- Groups I DO write for: Stray Kids, Ateez, and BTS

(I refuse to write for Woojin from skz so please don’t ask) (I used to write for nct and seventeen but I don't anymore so please don't ask)

What your reaction request should include: group of choice, and scenario!

What your drabble request should include: Idol/Idols of choice (no more than 2, and not from diff groups) if you want it to be angst/fluff/smut/a mix and a brief outline of the plot!

I accept for both dom idol and sub idol

I accept for both idol x reader (fem only please) and idol x idol

Accepting anons too 💙

Hard limits (what I won’t write ever) Rape play, gun play, little space, pet play, scat, roman showers, anything underage, all forms of "cest" or blood play in the form of cutting (in the form of vampire shit is ok) no roleplays (except doctor x patient is ok) also no horror (This can be edited at any point in time)

I don't mind species like vampire, werewolf, or animal hybrid, but please nothing else!

I am a human with human feelings so please be respectful and kind

I am a human with a life outside of this blog and as much as I love my blog I can not attend to it 24/7

Demanding updates on your request will just turn me off from writing it

- As long as you respect my wishes when requesting it will most likely be written but I do not have to! Please be patient as requests take time to write!

- Requests are currently closed

- Hard hours are currently open

#request rules #request #rules #stray kids #ateez #stray kids smut #stray kids fluff #ateez smut #ateez fluff #stray kids request #ateez request #bts #bts smut #bts fluff

8 notes · View notes

kdream-factory · 2 years

Text

♡*- Masterlist -*♡

Started: 27.02.2023

Last Updated: 25.09.2022

Total Works: 14

smut 💞, fluff 🌸, angst 💔, horror 🩸, favs 🌺

SEVENTEEN

ENHYPEN

SF9

ATEEZ

Stray Kids

ONF

VERIVERY

CRAVITY

NU’EST

BDC x Lee Eunsang

Others

Works of other Blogs I can recommend

Requesting Rules

I do not write:

Rape, Smoking and Drug abuse, Explicit Gore, Minor Sex

Also I don’t feel too comfortable writing about self harm. Please understand.

When requesting:

Just write what group I have on my ml you would want me to write for, drabble or oneshot, what genre(s) and what bias. If you want it to have a specific theme you can either write down your idea or give me some keywords. If you want me to write a reactions just tell me what kind of reaction scenario.

———————————————————————

I do not discriminate! You are more than welcome to request LGBTQIA+ Scenarios/Reactions/Drabbles and every person of every color and or religion can do so too! 💖💕💞💖💝

Niwi ~

15 notes · View notes

aangelinakii · 2 years

Note

Hi, what are your rules for requesting? When I clicked on it on your pinned post, it wasn’t showing up.

UPDATED REQUESTING RULES !

hiya ! my name is angelina, thank you so much for asking because idfk where my old rules went 💀 so here's a new list !

as a minor i don't feel too comfortable writing sexually explicit content, such as sex, in-depth makeout scenes, anything that technically isn't sex but like it's involving those areas so it basically is ( like things done over clothes but if they weren't wearing clothes then it would just be sex init )

i absolutely do notttt want to be writing about triggering or sensitive topics. these include rape, incest, eating disorders, suicide, self harm, abuse. this can be because i have readers who these topics may affect, because they affect me and make me uncomfortable, and also because who tf wants to be reading that shit 💀 like why would you want to read about someone getting like sexually assaulted bruh you weird for that

my motivation and inspiration fluctuate a lottt so pls pls pls don't rush me to write your request. so far i haven't gotten this, but i'm just saying it just in case. tbh if you like rush me and keep bugging me about it, it makes me not want to do it even more like out of spite 💀💀 so that's a bit funny init just don't do it or like you won't get it at all atp

i easily lose interest in things, such as the fandoms or people i'm writing about sorry not sorry, so that may also be a reason your request takes so long,, because i've fallen out of like with it. sometimes i can lose interest and then i'll like it again for like a week and then it's gone again

i also switch a lot between things i write for and don't, such as i used to write for life is strange but then i didn't but then i did, and now i don't. but i do currently write for ateez and stray kids ! this may be added to or taken away from, but we'll see we'll see fr

i write imagines and reactions !

other than this though, i'm pretty laidback !

#requesting rules

0 notes

babiesdreams · 3 years

Text

Skz reaction to their s.o having scars/ cutting themselves.

Disclaimer: I want to do this reaction since I know people going through this need some kind of support and sometimes little things like this help a lot. If you are going through this situations please ask for help, and if you need someone to talk to, you can talk to me without a problem :). Hope this makes you feel better.

Warnings: Angst, mentions of blood, mentions of self harm and autodestructive thoughts and actions. If you are not comfortable reading about this topics, please don’t read this.

Chan: You were paralyzed, trying your best to hide the cuts with your hand. Chan was paralyzed as well, standing by the door frame, not completely believing the situation. The blood running through your forearms coming from your wrists felt hot compared to your cold flesh. Chan’s eyes started tearing up, at the view. You opened your mouth, in an attempt to explain yourself, but Chan’s voice stopped you. “Let’s treat the cuts first” He said wiping his tears off. He carefully put a bandage around your cuts, stopping the blood from coming out. “Chan I’m sorry” You said looking down as tears started forming on your eyes. “Don’t say that to me, say that to yourself. You need to love you the way you love me Y/N” You cry out at his words, unable to explain how hard it is to accept and love yourself. “Look, I struggle with self love too” Chan says, looking right into your eyes. “But, before doing this” He says looking at your forearms “you can talk to me. I can give you a thousand reasons to love yourself” You sniff “I’ll talk to you when I feel like this, I promise” You say carressing his face. “You know I’d never judge you right?” He says touching your cheek slightly, wiping the tears off. “I know love” You say holding his hand with yours.

Minho: Minho looked at your scars for a split second, when your sleeves went up a little bit. He decided to stay silent, since you both were in public, but you could read something was wrong with his expression. Once you got home you were the one asking him. “What’s wrong baby?” He looked at you worried, not really knowing how to say it. “That- That thing, do you still do it?” He says pointing at your forearms. You cross your arms, in an attempt to hide them. “What do you mean?” You ask, eventho you know exactly what he meant. “Your scars Y/N” He says looking right into your eyes, with a worried look. You look down, unable to keep the eye contact. “I’m trying to stop” You say in a low voice. “Why didn’t you tell me?” He says as tears fall down his cheeks. You are completely broken by the situation, not knowing what to say or do to make things better. “It’s hard to open up” You simply say still looking at the floor. He wraps his arms around you in a tight hug and says “Don’t ever do that again please, I don’t know what I’d do without you” I may be crying

Changbin: Eventho you try your best to hide it, there’s blood coming out of your clothes, that completely exposes you. Changbin’s voice trembles as he says “Again?” His tone is kind of dissapointed, monotoned and completely different to his usual tone around you. “I told you to talk to me” He says lifting the bottom of your pants, revealing your bloody ankles. “It’s hard” You say with a broken voice. “I know it’s hard” He says, putting his hand around your neck, making you look at him “But we can get through this together” He finally says as he starts putting a bandage around your ankle. “I really try my best, but my mind...” You start speaking but burst into tears half way. “I know baby” He says calmly. “I know”

Hyunjin: He acts calmly, knowing that you’re going through more than he is. He hides the fact that your actions hurt him, because he simply doesn’t want you to feel guilty about them. He cleans out the little cuts you did on your hips, thinking that he wouldn’t notice them. “I won’t do it again, I promise. I really mean it this time” You say trying to convince yourself and the boy. “I know you’ll get through this” He simply says, looking at you. Maybe it’s your current state that doesn’t allow you to think straight, or maybe he hides it way too well. But you definetely don’t notice just how broken he is. “All done” He says putting a band-aid on the last cut. He acts like nothing happened, trying to make everything normal looking. But as soon as you fall asleep, he hides in the bathroom, crying helplessly and letting everything out.

Jisung: “Tell me I’m wrong please” He says with a broken tone while holding your shoulders. “You are, partially. They’re old” You reply looking straight into his wet eyes. “It happened years ago, and I’m not doing it anymore” You explain further letting him know about the whole situation. “You scared me” He says, in between loud cries and you hold him closer to you, putting him into a tight hug. “I will never leave your side Jisung” You say placing your face on his shoulder. “Never” You whisper in his ear.

Felix: He sits down with you, as you explain to him how you got your self-harm scars and why all that happened and how you are completely fine now. “Thank you” He says looking at you as he nods. “Thank you for trusting me and telling me about this, I know it’s not easy and it really means a lot” He says smiling at you, you smile back as a reflex. “I wanted you to know everything about me, because I trust you, and I know you would never judge me” You say still smiling at him. He holds your hand and replies “This tells me just how strong you are, I’m so proud of you, being able to get through this.

Seungmin: The bloody scenary of you, on the bath, water getting red from the blood, it’s just too much to process, but Seungmin acts fast, knowing how dangerous this is. He grabs your arms, checking how deep the cuts are and then checks your state, you are still conscious, but barely. He grabs your whole body on his arms and gets you out of the bathtub. He quckly calls an ambulance while covering your body with a towel, he wraps your arms with bandages, as fast as he can and holds your hand telling you. “Everything’s gonna be fine” You get to the hospital on time and the doctors help you heal fast. Seungmin’s there for the whole recovery process and he supports you on every step, and even looks for a psichologist for you.

Jeongin: Jeongin is broken while you tell him how you got your scars, unable to understand just how much pain you went through. “I’m happy that this nightmare is over for you” He says holding your hand. “And I’m here if you need help some day” He continues looking at you. “Thank you for understanding babe” You say to him caressing his hand.

Masterlist--requests open--

423 notes · View notes

haneybun123 · 3 years

Text

stray kids reaction when their s/o has tattoos that cover up self harm scars (implied male reader)

masterlist

warnings: mentions of self harm, depression, suicidal thoughts

A/N: I just want to say that for anyone going through this, as I have been there myself, I am deeply sorry. I hope you can find the support you need soon. my DMs are always open so, if you would rather talk to someone through a screen than in real life, you can always come to me or the website I use BuddyHelp.

Bang Chan

I want this man to ruin my life

- Chan loves art in any form so, naturally, he’s always loved tattoos. if he could he would get some himself but that will have to wait until he retires from the limelight, so, he’s stuck living vicariously through you. due to that it means he spends a lot of time studying your tattoos. when you guys are cuddling or you’re sat on his lap (no matter how much you complain about your size in comparison to his smaller size) while he records he’ll find his eyes always attracted to your tattoos.

- through his... “studies” (him staring at you for excessive periods of time) he found that one of your tattoos seems to be over a scar, visible through a spot of lighter shading. he always presumed it was from a childhood injury or something similar, no matter how much he knows about your struggles, mostly because he cannot bear to think of any other alternative. so one day, something he now feels incredibly guilty for, he asks about where you got that scar from. watching you get incredibly tense and panicked out of nowhere puts 2 and 2 together in his head. he’s never felt like such a clown.

“hey, y/n?” Chan broke the silence, looking up at you with inquisitive eyes from his spot in your lap. you gave him a look to continue and watched in fear as his hand inched slowly towards your scar, “where did you get this from?” you tried not to get upset or angry towards him- how was he meant to know what the scar was when you’d never told him about your history with self-harm? why would he have asked otherwise? - but you couldn’t help feeling defensive. you brushed him off but Chan is too insightful to allow it, immediately understanding that this was far more sensitive than a childhood injury.

“y/n, I will always be here for you,” he spoke soothingly, gently tracing around your visible scar. with the look of pure adoration in his eyes it was impossible to be afraid about opening up. so.. your tough exterior cracked like glass. it wasn’t easy- it especially wasn’t easy admitting you’d been avoiding telling him, despite everything. it wasn’t easy watching him cry, spilling tears over the art that he once loved, “I don’t want you to feel like this again. I won’t let that happen.”

Lee Minho / Lee Know

- your tattoos were never something he was very focused on, despite the other members constantly talking about them. he’s naturally non-expressive so he’ll complement whenever you get a new one and that’s where his attachment ends. so he never brought up why you had them, or what they meant. he didn’t feel the need to- there were simply just other things that were more important. this resulted in the decision on when to tell him why you had these tattoos falling into your hands.

- when you did tell him it felt like his brain just.. switched off. he didn’t know what to do, what to say, even what to do with his hands. so he chose to gently reach out for you. he chose that now was not the time to cry- he held them back like a cracking dam- because he had to be there for you. he had to ensure that you were okay and that this wouldn’t trigger anything in you to relapse. the mere thought pains him.

“wow, you got a new tattoo! when did you get this?” Minho inquired as the side of your jumper rolled up. his eyes glistened as he stared at the little bird on your side. it was one of your older scars, one that had been relatively easy to hide using baggy shirts and jackets, but if you were going to hide them what was the point of missing any? you explained to him that it had been healing so it had never been showed off until now but, since it was still sinking in, the scar could still somewhat be seen.

you saw it work through Minho's head as you spoke: confusion, processing, shock, dread. you saw the tears develop and go away as it settled in his mind. simply, you were more important than his feelings. he reached for your hand, stared at you with pure distress. it was clear he felt unable to speak, that he was trusting his eyes to speak for him. all he could do was apologise for you, for your experiences, that you ever felt so low- “baby, I’m sorry, I’m sorry. I’m sorry you felt this way. I promise I will never let you feel this way again- I swear to you.”

Changbin / Seo Changbin

- Changbin is the member most attracted to tattoos. any time he looks at your tattoos he feels his heartbeat pick up like a rabbits- you could probably feel it through his chest. whenever you cuddle, lean on him, or even when he’s just looking at you. he's just in love with them. he was desperate to find out the story behind all of them because he’s an artist himself- he wants to hear about your inspirations much like you hear about his. so, it means he’s heard your entire life story two times through, no matter how painful.

- sharing your story about your struggles with depression and self-harm was another hurdle though- one he was fairly aware of- but didn’t want to pressure you towards so you didn’t share beyond what you were comfortable with. despite how often he’d heard your story, he still wasn’t equipped to look at you scars. seeing it manifested physically, onto your skin that he loved so much, he simply couldn’t handle it.

it had been some time since you had opened up about your self harm issues but they still haunted Changbin. things he used to love doing with you had no become a mental minefield for him. seeing you in revealing clothing or even naked, for example, made him paranoid about finally seeing one of your scars, despite his massive love of your tattoos. in a way, every time your skin became exposed was ripping a bandaid off. so, seeing one for the first time? he froze like a deer in headlights. he couldn’t help it.

his eyes became glued to the scar, his hand reached out to gently brush over the gap in the lines. his expression was just broken- you could see him shatter like glass through his eyes. you had never intended for him to see it- all you had intended on was changing into your clothes, all he had intended was to say goodbye before he left for training. the peaceful atmosphere had crashed around you. all that was left was crying in silence. neither of you could help but cry through the silence. he knelt down in front of you, looking up at you as if his world was falling apart. gently, he kissed the mark and through it, you felt him promise that the world will be better now. and you believed it.

Hyunjin / Hwang Hyunjin

- honestly, he didn’t even notice you had tattoos until your 4th date. he was lucky to notice them then, to be honest, because he gets so easily distracted by everything else about you. the clothes you were wearing that day covered you a lot less than usual: a tank top instead of your usual jacket and 3 quarters instead of your usual jeans. he adored it and he adored your tattoos as soon as he noticed them. he gushed about them all day, rambling on about how much he thought they suited you.

- when it comes to feelings, though, he’s much better suited. he can struggle to control his own but when it comes to you he knows exactly what to do. he listens intently, studying all of your body language like he’s sitting an exam on it in an hour because- despite the tears streaming down his face- he cares more about your wellbeing in this moment than his. he’ll ask questions but it’s more of a need to take care of you as much as possible than anything else. that’s all that’s on his mind.

he had been stood, slack jaw, grasping your quivering arm for quite some time now. the sliver of lighter skin present under your tattoo completely blocked out all other thoughts. all he knew was that he was crying- crying so hard he could only see the scar in his mind. it had turned his eyes lifeless, almost unfeeling, like the scar had some sort of Medusa-esque power that allowed it to drain Hyunjin of his soul. you hadn’t spoken since you explained the reasoning of your tattoos as you waited for him to show some sign that he had absorbed what you had told him. a few terrifying moments later and something clicked in him- some instinct falling back into place- and you were in his arms, your gasp of surprise breaking the unspoken tension.

Hyunjin didn’t notice. he was too focused on the fact that you were quivering with anxiety and sadness and he hadn’t fixed it. he began to gently run his hand up and down your back, completely ignoring his own pain to focus on you. his words shook as he conducted some desperate straw grab to piece thoughts together, “you make everyone around you so happy. the worst I've heard someone say about you is that you make them smile so much their cheeks hurt. you have so much potential, baby, I know you’ll do great things. do not let your past define you. you’re alive now, not then.” considering Hyunjins initial intentions were to make you feel comforted your tears were flowing stronger than ever (and so were his). despite it all is there a better place to let all your tears fall than in each others arms?

Han / Han Jisung

- god this man truly just loves your tattoos. he loves people that have a more dark aesthetic- goth, punk, even e-girl/e-boy to an extent. seeing you, someone who he already found charming, showing off your beautiful tattoos? he was hooked in an instant. but, telling him the reason for getting your tattoos or the meaning behind them was something you avoided. it would hurt him too much and you couldn’t bear to see him like that, even if it meant putting off telling him things that were important to share.

- when you did tell him though? that was hard. he’s a softie and he can’t handle hearing that you struggle at all. seeing you cry makes him cry basically on the spot; telling him your past with self-harm? oh dear. it was destined to go poorly from the start. when you spoke about your reasons behind your tattoos he began sobbing basically immediately and when you pointed out the less shaded areas where the scars were visible it only made him cry harder.

you spoke slowly, your thumb rubbing comforting circles across the palm of his hand- trying to keep him calm for as long as possible. gently, you explained your struggles with depression, the release you used to feel through self harm, and your rocky road to recovery. no matter how much comfort you tried to give him he cried through your whole story. his chest shook violently as he collapsed onto you, crying out in painful wails once he realised he had landed right next to a tattoo on your thigh, a bright scar shining through the ink.

it took him a while before he was ready to ask questions. the time before consisted of him listing off in a cracking voice all of the things he loves about you: your shimmering eyes, your soft hair, your comforting hugs, your honey voice. he listed until he stopped feeling upset anymore, then gently asked “y/n.. what are the meanings of your tattoos?” as you listed, he traced his fingers along each line, kissing any scars that he spotted. Jisung is a great listener and spoke with vested interest about each detail of your stories. he traced and kissed until there was nothing left but the blush and dried tears spread across your cheeks and his final, sweet sentiment: “you inspire me, y/n.”

Felix / Lee Felix

- oh this sweet, sunshine boy. when you told him about the purpose of your tattoos he didn’t know what to do with himself. even if you told him they’re old scars or that you don’t do that anymore he’ll still fall apart like a tower of cards in the wind. he hates to think that the war in your head could be so intense that you resolved to such a method. before it’s even registered in his own mind he’s crying, desperately reaching out to you to comfort you and himself. he holds you tight in your arms, trying your hardest to shield himself from the wind.

- he’ll cuddle you for hours, gently asking what drove you to your decision, if/when you stopped, if he’s ever helped. ultimately, he’s asking to see if he’s been supportive enough. if he can’t support you then what the hell is he doing in this relationship? no matter what you say, he’ll still drive himself insane thinking about what signs he may have missed. the thoughts may never fully leave him but, the fact that your self-harming habits and intrusive thoughts have calmed down since you both began dating will comfort him greatly.

your words rang in his ears like someone shot a gun next to his ear. he couldn’t stop repeating them to himself- “they’re self-harm scars, Felix.” they hurt. they hurt him down to his bones, a pain he can’t remember the last time he felt. desperately he searched for support, something to hold on to, so he asked what they meant. your words were gentle as you explained each meaning, soothing the ringing just enough, but his eyes couldn’t help being drawn to what was underneath. the little patches of lighter skin stood out to him now- he doesn’t know when they’ll stop standing out.

instinctively, he pulled you into his chest. half to hide the tears pouring out against his will, half to comfort you as your hands began to shake. talking about this is hard, he knows, and he doesn’t want you to push yourself to the point of panic or, dare he even think it, a relapse into old thoughts. you appreciated it no matter which half was dominant in his thoughts. “let’s talk about that another time, love. I don’t think either of us can handle it right now.” he laughed to himself as he pulled you closer- a sad laugh you couldn’t help but reflect. with a gentle kiss on the head he thanked you for sharing, and you fell into a comforting silence.

Seungmin / Kim Seungmin

- Seungmin is naturally supportive of others. it’s instinctual to him to make sure everyone around him feels like they’re perfect. so, your tattoos were just another thing for him to be supportive of. he thinks they’re a beautiful, artistic, and bold way for you to declare yourself to the world and he was more than ready to support them. but, put simply, they just aren’t a major facet in his attraction towards you. that’s okay though! he’ll go to the tattoo place with you and hold your hand the whole time you get a new one. he wouldn’t be supporting you otherwise in his eyes <3

- him being naturally supporting helps a lot with your struggles surrounding mental illness as well. he’s your guardian angel in that sense- and many others to be honest. you love that about him! it’s why he’s honestly one of the easiest members to talk to about things of this nature. it’s why it felt so normal to open up to him about this and why you weren’t surprised that he only cried after he was sure you were okay.

opening up had never been this easy. with others it felt like you were constantly holding back, like a raincloud letting one drop fall at a time. with Seungmin, it was torrential downfall. you couldn’t help but let it all out at once: the crippling feeling of loneliness, the crushing sadness, the paranoia of triggers lurking around every corner, throwing out every sharp object in your home until you felt like you could trust yourself again. he never thought he could be proud of a furnished kitchen until you spoke about your knife tattoo- the latest one you had gotten- and the exact symbolism behind it.

he held both your hands between his; he looked at you like you were a rainbow after a stormy season; he wiped your tears with soft as cloud kisses until your smile was as bright as a summer day and he rested you in his arms, “I never thought I'd be lucky enough to date someone like you, y/n.” short, simple, sweet as dew: that was your Seungmin. silently, he cried grateful tears, “thank you for staying alive. I'm so happy I met you, sunshine.”

I.N / In Jeongin

- the last thing the members expected about Jeongins partner was for them to be covered in tattoos, but here you were. they loved you, he loved you, and he absolutely adores your tattoos (to the members intense surprise). he thinks they’re beautiful and something that makes you so unique. honestly, he could stare at them for hours on end and not get bored. whenever you cuddle he’ll gently trace the lines up and down your arms, too entranced to ever notice what lay beneath the intricate shading. when he did notice though,,, he was inconsolable.

- while he knew you had always suffered with depressive, intrusive thoughts that stemmed towards self harm, your history with self-harm was something you never felt comfortable discussing. so, to come face to face with the scars at such an intimate moment shook Jeongin, especially when he had no knowledge of such things. he hated the idea of you in such a position that you felt driven towards such things. he can protect you from many things but your mind was not one of them. it was a battle he could not win and to see what he saw as his shortcomings effecting you in such a way... he couldn’t help but cry.

you were lying together in bed, sharing an intimate and peaceful moment together, far away from typical worries. he lay on his side, studying you, fingers grazing gently over your skin. you seemed slightly uncomfortable and he couldn’t quite place a finger on why. were you feeling sick? did you not like this? it was then, lost in thought, that he realised why you felt uneasy. at uneven intervals your usually delicate skin became rough, brighter, like a cut. he saw them, decorating your skin like sick memorandums of the past. the past he couldn’t protect you from.

“they are scars, Jeongin. I'm sure you can guess why I didn't tell you about them.” you answered his question for him. it’s true: you hated speaking on your past, “I stopped doing it a little after we got together. being like this, with you, it makes me feel better.” though your sentiments did not stop his tears. with a cracking, watery voice, Jeongin spoke, “I know I can provide a solace for you now- I'm really glad you’ve found that in me- I just wish I could have helped you sooner. I hate to think of you going through this.” the rest of his speech became illegible through his tears. in his upset, he pulled you onto him, squeezing you like he was trying to rinse out your pain. strangely, like always, it worked, and you fell into comforting each other.

#stray kids #kpop #kpop boy groups #stray kids scenarios #stray kids reactions #kpop reactions #kpop scenarios #tw: depression #tw: self harm #tw: suicidal

74 notes · View notes

chocolvte · 5 years

Text

STRAY KIDS IMAGINE.

. . han jisung finding out that you SH

trigger warning — this post includes graphic descriptions of s*lf h*rm. please DO NOT read if this kind of material is triggering for you.

listen to coffee breath by sofia mills

valentine’s day was a hard time of year for you. not because you were single (you had gotten very lucky in the boyfriend department), but because it always seemed to remind you of how inadequate you were.

you like to do it in your bathtub, so it’s less messy. that’s where jisung found you on valentine’s day. you tried to tug your shirt down over the cuts before he could see what was happening, but the heartbreaking look on his face was enough to tell you it was too late. now he knew.

“y/n,” jisung’s voice cracked. he tried again, but the lump in his throat made it impossible as his tears spilled over. he dropped to the floor next to the tub. “what’s going on?”

you didn’t know what to say, fingers playing with the hem of your shirt.

“i’m sorry,” you tried in a helpless whisper, hoping it was the right thing to say.

“don’t be sorry,” jisung wiped his tears away aggressively. “i’m the one who should be sorry. i should have noticed. i should have helped you.”

you didn’t look at jisung’s face. you knew your heart couldn’t take it. jisung’s hands hovered near your face, finally deciding to move as he brushed your hair away from your forehead.

“can i see?” he whispered gently. you bit your bottom lip, nodding. he took a breath and lifted your shirt up softly. he couldn’t stop his intake of breath at the sight of the messy red lines, vision getting blurry with fresh tears. he blinked them away. you needed him right now.

“well they don’t look very deep,” jisung cleared his throat. “we just need to clean you up a little. and i can make you some tea later to help you sleep.”

he did his best to smile encouragingly at you, but it was crumpled at the edges, a shadow of his usually bright grin which made your heart ache.

gently, jisung helped you out of the tub. you still felt numb inside, your movements sluggish and minimal. everything felt a little hazy, like maybe you were just imagining this was happening, but then jisung’s hands squeezed your waist, right above your injuries, and you were brought back to the present.

his hands were extra careful as they wiped away the excess blood and disinfected the wounds with an alcohol swab. the sting made you hiss, the first sound out of you since you tried to apologize.

jisung glanced up at you with a smile. it was small, but it was so soft and loving it made you want to kick yourself. how could you do this to him? he had enough to worry about without having to take care of you.

all of a sudden you were crying, chest heaving with the force of your sobs. jisung looked alarmed, standing up immediately to wrap you in the tightest hug he’d ever given you.

“shh, it’s okay. i’m right here, love.” you allowed jisung’s words to wash over you. despite the anxiety you felt over your secret getting exposed, he always made you feel safe and warm.

jisung dropped your old shirt in your laundry basket as he carried you from your bathroom into your bedroom. he set you down on your bed and moved over to the bag of things he brought to stay the night to search for one of his hoodies.

“are you staying over?” you didn’t know why that was the first thing you thought to say, but it felt good. it felt normal, which was something you needed after the past twenty minutes.

“i was planning on it,” jisung emerged from his bag with a slightly worn dark green sweatshirt. it was your favorite thing of his to borrow, despite the hole worn into one of the elbows, because of how comfy it was and the way it retained jisung’s scent for weeks. “i wanted to surprise you. you know, for valentine’s day? but i can go if you want to be alone.”

“no, i—” you swallowed, letting jisung help you pull the sweatshirt over your head. “i don’t want to be by myself right now.”

“good luck getting rid of me then,” jisung smiled. he let his hands linger on your cheeks, fingers gently skimming over the skin. he looked serious all of a sudden. “y/n, i love you. i know you probably don’t want to talk about what just happened, but i want you to know that you can. you can tell me anything, i’ll never judge you or stop loving you or anything else that you’re afraid of. i promise.”

“i don’t deserve you,” you bit your bottom lip, hard, dropping your gaze to your lap as tears filled your eyes for what felt like the millionth time. “i’m so awful and annoying and gross, i don’t understand why you’re so nice to me.”

jisung was shocked. he had no idea you felt that way about yourself and he didn’t even know where to begin explaining to you how wrong you were.

“y/n,” he pulled you into another hug. “where did you learn to be so mean to yourself? you deserve all of the love in the world. from me and your friends and your family and especially from yourself.”

jisung pulled back to press a kiss to your lips softly. “love, can you promise me something?”

“what do you want me to promise?” for the first time since he first found you, you felt fear turn your whole body cold. you weren’t sure what you would do if he tried to make you promise to never do it again because you honestly weren’t sure if you could keep that promise.

“i want you to promise that you’ll talk to someone about this. not me. well, yes me if you want to, but also a professional, like a therapist or something,” jisung rubbed up and down your upper arms reassuringly. “would you be willing to try to get better? not for me, but for you?”

you thought about it, chewing your lower lip nervously. truthfully, you wanted to stop, but you were scared of messing up your recovery and disappointing everyone, especially jisung who was being so sweet to you right now.

“i’ll try,” you finally agreed softly. “i don’t want to let you down.”

“y/n, baby, you could never let me down. i can’t imagine how hard this has to be,” he looked you in the eyes as he spoke, the fingers of his right hand rubbing back and forth over your exposed knee. “i want you to want to get better for you. because you deserve to be happy.”

“okay,” you mumbled, eyes fluttering closed as you felt a wave of exhaustion hit you like a truck. “i’ll do my best, i promise.”

“thank you, love,” jisung leaned back against the pile of pillows against your headboard, pulling you down on top of him. he kissed your cheek lovingly. “for now just focus on falling asleep for me, okay? i’ll keep you safe. i love you, sunshine.”

#tw self harm #stray kids #stray kids reactions #stray kids imagines #stray kids x reader #han jisung #han #jisung x reader #3racha #jone #han jisung x reader #stray kids angst #stray kids fluff #trigger warning #jisung angst #jisung fluff

1K notes · View notes

staylovehearts · 5 years

Text

SKZ React: confronting their s/o about their self-harm scars

(a/n: this was requested by someone, please read this ask first for some more details, this scenario deals with past self-harm and healed scars, please stay safe everyone)

Chan

so he's not really sure about how to bring this up with you

of course he has kind of noticed the scars decorating your arm and he has his suspicions where they come from

but it's kind of hard to ask about something like that because he doesn't want to make you feel uncomfortable or bring back any negative emotions

when the talk finally happens he is really understanding and tries his best to be comforting

he's just really glad that you are not feeling like this anymore

hugs you real tight and tells you that he is very proud of you for stopping

Woojin

the first thing he asks when he notices the scars is “but you stopped right?”

accidentally comes out a little harsh but he is actually just really worried about you

his main priority is that you are doing well now

because the past is in the past

and it's horrible that you had to suffer through this

but he just wants to create a bright future with you to make sure you never have to feel like that again

Minho

he accidentally points them out with an innocent joke about how you must have gotten into a pretty intense fight with a cat

the mood immediately changes when he notices your reaction

so you explain to him that you fought a lot more than just a grumpy cat

and he is so so so sorry because he didn't know at all and of course didn't mean to make fun of you

and he assures you that you are so strong in his eyes

because you are a real fighter and he couldn't be more happy to have you by his side

Changbin

so he knows about the scars and he knows where they come from but he feels a little uncomfortable talking about this

he feels that he just doesn't have the right words to comfort you

so he tries to make you feel loved in other ways

gently traces your scars with his fingertips when he is cuddling you or places a few kisses on them every once in a while

just wants you to know that he really does love every part of you

and that includes your past

Hyunjin

you notice how he kind of keeps glancing at your scars but never says anything about them

so you finally bring up the topic yourself

the first thing he does is giving you a big hug and holding you real tight

tells you how much he loves you and how glad he is that you are with him now

gets really emotional because he just wants you to always be happy and protect you from everything bad

just really worried because he doesn't want anything bad to happen to you

loves you a lot and will do everything he can to make you feel loved

Jisung

he kind of notices how you always hide your arms under long sleeves even when it's warm outside so after a while he decides to ask about the reason

reacts kind of shocked when you tell him about it

not shocked that you have these scars but rather shocked that you felt the need to hide them

because they are nothing to be ashamed off

if anything you should wear them proudly because they prove that you went through so much and yet you are still here

but of course you don't have to if the thought of them being visible makes you uncomfortable

in the end he just wants you to encourage you to be open with him and wants you to know that he'll always take you the way you are and that you don't need to hide anything from him

Felix

so you actually bring the topic up yourself because you feel like you can trust him

wraps his arm around you and just lets you talk without judging you for anything

when you are done talking he squeezes you in his arms real tight and tells you how to him your scars are so beautiful

because now that they are healed they only show that you were able to overcome all of this

and that really is something you should be proud of

because he sure is proud of the person you have become

Seungmin

reacts a little shocked when he first sees the scars

because he can't imagine why you would do something like that to yourself

lets you explain everything about how you felt back then and why you did it and tries his best to understand

but he just can't wrap his head around why something so terrible would happen to such a wonderful person

really just wants you to be happier from now on

Jeongin

when he first notices the scars he has no idea where they came from but he immediately understands that it must have been something bad

also he notices that you seem kind of self-conscious about them

so he assures you that the scars don't change anything about you being really pretty

he reacts really shocked when he finally finds out where the scars really come from

but that doesn't change anything about how he thinks of you

draws little butterflies or flowers or other cute drawings on your skin sometimes to cheer you up when he notices you feeling down

252 notes · View notes