Remind Me How the Birds Sing (ChrissyxEddie)
Summary: Inexplicably a connection exists between Chrissy Cunningham and Eddie Munson that bonds them even after "death do us apart".
Even being lost to what Chrissy believes to be the afterlife, her path crosses Eddie's, once again bringing them close, despite existing on two different planes of existence.
Trigger Warnings: Canon-Typical Violence, Chrissy is a Ghost, Afterlife Concept, Mention of Death, Mention of Violence, Mention of Suffering, Mention of Drugs and Drugs Consumption, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Spoilers.
Part 0 | Part 2
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Tagged: @hiccup005
Part 1 - Misplaced Ghosts.
There had been no time for questions or doubts.
Eddie Munson shook her world for the second time and, apparently, the slight detail that she was dead didn’t matter in that equation.
So, if her choice was to either remain where she already had been for uncountable time, just lost to the darkness, lingering and pondering possibly for the rest of eternity, or to jump into the unknown, practically blind to the how, where, what and why, then the choice was easy. She was all-in.
She might have been young – too young to die for sure, but she always had fate that everything happened for a reason. She had to think that way; she needed to grasp something to survive the sadness her existence brought. And now it felt pretty fitting.
She might have not known a lot of things, but the fact that Eddie Munson broke the boundaries upon which the world existed, shining his light – even if erratically – through the void of the afterlife got her attention. That must have meant something.
She was now following him like a shadow, doing her best to keep up and not lose him through the thick, impalpable drapes of the nothingness surrounding them.
The longer she shadowed him, the more Chrissy was convinced he wasn’t dead.
He couldn’t be. He was acting too nervously like he had something to lose and the stakes were very high for him. Whatever he might have been running from, it surely wasn’t not being alive anymore.
Still, he was definitely running from something. And one of Chrissy’s first instincts was to calm him down, to soothe him. As a payback for the moments of peace, he granted her during her last day alive.
At first, she thought he got somehow misplaced and stuck in the same place she was. A living soul lost in the underworld kind of thing. She was sure the Greek Myths were full of similar stories. Like those men Homer wrote of in his stories: Orpheus or Theseus.
But she quickly realised that wasn’t the case.
Eddie was oblivious to her presence.
Every time she had the chance, whenever he would stop moving, she tried to call for his attention and to make him see her.
Chrissy jumped all around Eddie over and over again, huffing and puffing, trying everything in the book to get him to spot even a glimpse of her being standing in front of him.
She waved, shouted and even found herself doing a few skips from her cheerleading routine. And she didn’t stop there, she went as far as calling him a freak and some other bad things, trying her best to fight back her usual politeness and especially the guilt that followed every insult, just to see if that would get him to notice her.
But no matter what she did, nothing worked.
Doubt would soon follow every failed attempt. She wasn’t sure she was allowed to experience any of it.
It felt wrong, like a tear into reality, unexplainable yet tangible.
Admittedly, there was no way she could know how the afterlife worked. It’s not like there was a guidebook for it. Yes, at church they would preach and teach about the Bible and concepts like heaven and hell, but what she was experiencing didn’t match what she always believed in, or was taught to believe in.
Still, of all the people she knew and cared for, Eddie was the first and only one she managed to make contact with – if what was happening could be considered so.
She didn’t feel defeated by Eddie’s blindness though. She kept pursuing him every time he moved.
She ruled out the possibility that she could be dreaming pretty quickly. Eddie was real, Chrissy was sure of it.
He was definitely there in the flesh, wherever there was because she progressively became more and more sure of her second hunch: he was alive, his feet still touching the ground on Earth, and he would see and experience his own reality.
Inexplicably though, she was allowed to witness it. To witness him, more specifically. As he was blind to her presence, she was blind to whatever he was experiencing.
Yet, even if it felt like a weird reality overlap, closer to a mistake than something with a specific reason, it was undeniably tangible.
She could see and feel the heaviness of his body filling up the clothes he wore. Filling up the space around them. Differently from her, somehow. She didn’t fill it, she was part of it, while he appeared out-of-place.
Things progressively seemed to quiet down.
She knew time was now proceeding following a straight line, because if Eddie was moving forward through time, then she must have been doing the same.
Eddie stopped running and, at least for now, he wasn't erratic any longer.
By the way he fiddled with his own hands playing with his fingers, by the quickened steps and the attentive looks he kept sending all around, though, Chrissy imagined he must still have been pretty shaken and nervous.
He might not be running, but it didn't mean he felt safe.
She stood behind him, her hands gathered behind her back, while she curiously and carefully looked at his figure.
He was so tall. So tall it made her smile widen. She forgot she had to lean her head slightly to look up at him and something of having to do that made her feel warm.
Now that they seemed to have time, Chrissy took a second to study him and his edges. She could see details if his person with such clarity like her memories wouldn’t allow her to. Like how fuzzy and messy his long, black curly hair was. Or his clothes.
She couldn’t remember exactly what he wore when they spent time together, she knew there was a leather jacket involved and, if memory didn’t fail her, a t-shirt with some kind of devil on it. Though now, looking right at him, she had the absolute certainty he was still wearing the same clothes he did when they were together.
She had never paid attention to such features before. In her memories Eddie had been frozen to the very few moments she could recollect they had together, such as crossing him through the school corridors, or the very few classes they shared.
Though she could not remember much from those moments, most of the time it was a matter of only a moment of flighting attention.
Even the Middle School talent show Eddie decided to bring up that time they actually had a conversation, during her last day of life, was still a blurry memory lost in time.
Chrissy still couldn’t remember it well – or to be completely honest.
So, when she wanted to think about him, she found herself pushed to relive over and over again the last hours of the day she died.
Now, in light of everything she knew, Chrissy decided it was worth taking a moment to make of what she was blessed to see a memory she could have found another time if she needed it.
She didn’t know much of that reality she was stuck into. Even about her own death she didn’t know what happened. But she knew the thought of Eddie soothed her.
She did not know why. Why was he so important and dear to her? Why did it matter in any way?
Maybe it was that when she met him in the woods and for the first time in possibly ever, she was prompted to show real emotion and never had to apologise for it.
Maybe it was that he was the sole person alive who managed to melt her fear and panic, making her forget about her nightmares, only to make her laugh, all the while her stomach truly tingled in that sensation people so often described like butterflies.
Whatever that might have been, despite everything, there must be a reason why she was now able to see and hear him. Only him.
Even if she wanted to try and speak once more, she was hesitant to receive only silence. So, she remained a quiet witness.
He bent forward, reaching for something on the ground she couldn't see, and as he stood back up, yet another detail changed.
He was holding a key.
This time, she was able to recognise that foreign objects that sparkled between his fingers, probably hit by some form of light, attracting her attention.
There were way too many questions piling up in her mind. And no way to get an answer for them. She had decided for a while that she didn't want to lose time or focus thinking about it.
She was with Eddie, that was everything that mattered. Better than being on her own, lost to the nothingness, waiting for eternity to do its course.
She would have taken things as they came. If he couldn’t perceive her, then she would have accepted the idea of quietly accompanying him around.
Having the possibility to share a fraction of life with him, or anybody for what was worth, despite the fact that she was dead, sounded like a miracle.
She wondered though if she was suddenly able to see the key he held, did that mean other things would become tangible?
Holding her breath in anticipation, Chrissy followed Eddie's hand moving mid-air, reaching for what she imagined to be a door.
She watched Eddie pushing the key in the lock, balancing his weight on where she imagined the wood panel to be, pressing his other hand wide open on it.
For a moment she got distracted studying that detail of him.
He had big hands, with long fingers and short, stumpy-bitten nails. The pale skin on their back made it easy to see the veins popping up underneath.
Chrissy wasn’t sure if she remembered it, or if it was closer to a fantasy, but she thought she had felt his hands on her before. On her shoulders, maybe around her face… She couldn’t be sure.
Though, only the thought of physical touch after she had been deprived of it for so long, and not only in death, to be frank, made her stomach vibrate, filling her up with a longing she never, ever thought in a million years to feel.
Eddie was wearing a multitude of rings and bracelets, and even if part of her was curious about them and their possible meanings, she decided to prioritize the details she was going to memorise.
As if her thoughts were directly plucked out of her mind, the door materialised in front of her, startling her. Chrissy gasped and took a tiny step backward as that sudden object popped through the empty space surrounding them.
It didn’t make a single sound; it didn’t move the air. It eerily just appeared as it had always been there. It was only a door. A white door. Now existing where before there was nothing.
But besides the first scare, a wide smile followed, opening on Chrissy’s face, brightening her features.
"I can see this-" she said, perfectly knowing she was talking to herself, and yet the idea to share that thought with Eddie warmed her chest.
She turned towards him, looking up and offered him her wide smile, not expecting him to notice.
Her reaction was completely out of place, especially since Eddie seemed to be exhausted and was struggling to get the door open due to his hand shaking too much.
Chrissy giggled softly pushing her hand on the door, following Eddie's.
She ignored his grumbles and cussing, too carried away by the fact that she wasn't only seeing the door.
She was touching it.
She felt the even surface of the wood under her palm and its consistency. Somehow, she knew it had a weight and width, a detail that was often taken for granted… Yet now it felt like the most important thing on Earth.
Chrissy push her hungry fingertips to move over the chipped, cheap paint that covered the door, only to re-discover the sense of touch that she thought she had lost forever.
"Eddie," she called for him, pointing her big, sparkling eyes to his face. She knew he wouldn't have answered, but at that point, who cared? "I can feel it!" she then whispered, still quite unable to believe it.
She exploded into an uncontrollable burst of laughter.
Chrissy knew Eddie's situation was serious yet her discovery couldn't be welcomed in a different way.
She covered her mouth with her hand trying to calm down. Her heart was still pounding in her chest, animated by pure euphoria.
Then an idea crossed her mind.
Once again, she looked up at him - ignoring the fact that he was still struggling with the door - and hesitantly she brushed her shaking fingertips on the back of his hand.
His skin felt soft and warm under her touch.
A sigh of relief left her chest. Her eyelids fell heavy on her teary eyes, as a sad smile crossed her lips.
She never realised how much she missed being able to feel contact with someone.
Chrissy had never been overly into physical touch, surprisingly for her character and all the stereotypes that always followed her, it was something that actually made her feel rather uncomfortable.
She had been a warm and lovely person, always bound to do good. She knew very well she had been the nice, perfect girl that everyone expected her to be. She had worked so hard to fill in the expectations people had for her.
Yet as someone would get too close to her, for a hug or even a quick brush of their hand on her shoulder, flinching was always her first reaction. Even with Jason. Even with her parents.
But not this time. Now, she didn’t flinch, she didn’t draw away from that soft contact. Actually, she found herself on the opposite side of the spectrum, famished for more. To feel alive, to feel human, even if only for a moment.
Much to her surprise, Eddie was the one who squirmed. Startled by that sudden feeling, he pulled his hand back, pushing it against his chest. Surprise coloured his face, as he focused on the point on the door where he had his hand a second earlier.
She didn’t have time to feel the spark of disappointment shoot through her belly, because the fact that he reacted to that touch meant he felt something. And if he did, was there any reason to hope?
“It’s ok. Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you.” She tried her best to reassure him even if Eddie still seemed deaf to her voice. Still, Chrissy took a step back to leave him some space.
Soon Eddie went back to give attention to the jammed lock. Giving a firm shake to the door handle, he finally managed to turn the key and opened the door.
Chrissy welcomed his win with a sigh of relief and followed him inside – wherever inside could have been.
As soon as he didn’t touch anything, she had no way to trace a picture of their surroundings in her mind.
Though, it didn’t much matter. As soon as Eddie locked the door behind him, insistently checking it, his panic took over.
“Shit. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Shit…” More cussing followed.
Eddie crossed the space, sometimes swivelling around only to start walking up and down nervously. His steps were quick and unsteady as if he wasn’t sure where to go anymore. He looked like a wild animal locked up in a cage.
He pushed his hands through his thick hair and if she could have had a dollar per each time he said a swearing word, she would have been a very rich woman by now.
But she decided to give him a free pass on it since he looked tremendously unsettled.
Chrissy wished she could have done something to soothe him. From time to time she dared to take a step forward to get closer to him, only so she could softly grab him, imagining it would have been easy to slide her hands around his arms to encourage him to stop moving. But every time she had to stop herself.
He was clearly unhinged and she was terrified by the possibility of adding some more stress to his situation instead of easing him.
So, she had to settle for the option to only stand next to him, pacing with him, and helping as she could.
“Calm down, Eddie. Breathe-” She would softly whisper to his ear from time to time.
It’s not as if it actually seemed to help. But eventually, he started to walk around with a clearer sense of direction.
“Ok. Let’s see where we are at and how fucked we might be.” Eddie mumbled to himself, which was a detail that despite the situation Chrissy found cute. “Let’s see. C’mon, give me some luck.” He kept whispering, talking to himself.
As he reached for things, Chrissy saw him opening cupboards and drawers. He touched the top of a table and counters, granting her the possibility to see their messy surfaces.
He was in a kitchen. She still didn’t know where, but it was safe to say it was a house somewhere.
Was he alone? She looked around even if she knew by then there was no way she could have explored further into that space unless Eddie was touching the entire house surface. Which was impossible.
A familiar tingling sound attracted her attention back to Eddie as he opened a fridge and dipped his face in it.
She walked closer, looking at the assorted magnets covering the door. There were some from some places around America, the kind tourists would buy on travels, but there were also some more personal, such as a bottle opener originally shaped as a beer bottle and the one of a seven-leaflet kind of green leaf.
“Yes!” Eddie declared victory.
Chrissy peaked over his shoulder, only to see him retrieving from the fridge a bottle of beer.
She rolled her eyes, not even trying to hide a tiny smirk. What was with men and finding some level of comfort in beer?
He clearly knew that place, because he knew immediately where to find the bottle opener.
She didn’t like to drink. Of course, she had tried the taste of it once, with Jason and the rest of their group of friends – everyone was doing it, so she had too. But she had only to take one sip to know beer wasn’t for her.
Yet, as he popped the bottle open and the fizzy noise of the beer foaming up to the sudden contact with air reached her ears, Chrissy was suddenly extremely thirsty.
She could feel the beer bubbles on her own tongue, as well as she imagined the bottle must have felt cool in her palm.
Her attention was completely taken by that.
Since she died, she had never felt the absence of her senses and needs. Because one would think it would be pure torture, and rather useless, to spend eternity famished or parched. But now, as her emotions started to bloom again also all her senses did.
She could suddenly smell the air of the room Eddie was in. It didn’t matter it smelled mouldy and stuffy. She could smell the beer he held and the leather of his jacket.
Pure emotion flew through her and another candid, huge smile appeared on her lips.
Chrissy surely didn’t know under what weird spell she was under, but she was grateful for it.
She watched Eddie drink a big gulp of beer, just to then leave the bottle on the side counter and reach for his pockets. He pulled a packet of cigarettes out, clearing his voice. His fingers were slightly shaking as he pulled one out.
Chrissy pouted, automatically wrinkling her nose. Smoking was another habit she had never understood. Though, she had never tried it. She remembered she really disliked the smell of it and even if her friends tried to get her to try it at least once, she always pressed her foot down on that. Plus, her mother was always very strict about what a girl could and couldn’t do. And smoking was an affair for men.
She silently witnessed his routine. Cigarette hanging between his lips, he then put the packet back into his pocket, giving it a pat to ensure himself it was safe. Then, he pulled out of another pocket a packet of matches.
Chrissy pulled a cheeky smile.
As he lit the match, as soon as the tip sparkled and the flame came to life, she blew on it. Again and again, until the fourth match went to waste.
“What the hell?” Eddie grumbled, extremely crossed.
“Some people say smoking is not good for you.” She replied shrugging, sarcasm and innocence mixing into her words.
Eddie huffed, clearly frustrated.
Chrissy imagined he would have tried again, as the habit of someone with such addiction would. But, he didn’t. Instead, he lashed out in a wave of anger, throwing the cigarette altogether.
By then Chrissy should have been scared of such sudden behaviour if it wasn’t for the fact that immediately after Eddie crumbled on himself.
He crouched down and curled up on himself, hugging his knees to his chest and broke into a convulsive cry.
He swung slightly as if he was trying to bring himself some kind of peace, shaking his head, not hiding his tears and vulnerability. He truly looked so scared, and only a kid with the weight of something horrible pressing on his shoulders.
Chrissy didn’t hesitate a second, deeply touched by him, she threw herself on the ground, kneeling next to him. This time, more pushed by her sixth sense than common sense, she cupped a hand on one of his knees, while with the other she softly grabbed his wrist. “It’s ok. Eddie, it’s ok. You are not alone.”
He wasn’t startled by their contact – but then again Chrissy had no way to guarantee he could feel it at all.
She surely did. She felt the bones of his wrist through the hold of her hand, and the rough material of his dark denim jeans under her palm, where the material was unevenly ripped, she felt the warmth of his skin as she touched his bare knee in a way that she would have generally considered intimate. But not then, suddenly being shy about such a thing didn’t feel important.
Though, it didn’t seem to calm him down in any way.
Eddie leaned his head forward, hiding his face against his knees. As he pulled his arms tighter around them, Chrissy moved her hand on his shoulder, grabbing the material of the ripped denim jacket he wore on top of his leather one.
“Shit. Fuck… Chrissy-” She gasped as she heard him calling her name. Did he see her? Did he know she was there with him?
Now more than ever she found herself hoping.
“She is dead. Chrissy is dead…” He kept yelling. And the more he talked the more unrestrained he became.
Her heart broke into a million pieces when she realised that he was still completely oblivious to her presence. He was only venting…
It couldn’t be happening much later than her death, then. He wore the same clothes and was running, finding refuge. Could it be this was happening shortly after her death?
From how long was she dead? It felt like a long time. But she was less and less sure of it by the minute, now.
“I’m not a murderer. I’m not-” He squeezed himself tighter. “I’m not a monster.”
“I am sorry, Chrissy.” He finally breathed, shaking his head and looking up to the ceiling.
“Oh, Eddie…” She whispered, heartbroken. Now more than ever she wished she could do something, anything, to calm him down… Instead, she felt useless, only witnessing Eddie’s pain.
She knew he wasn’t remotely responsible for her death.
Chrissy pushed her hands to the sides of his face, caressing his jawline. Another contact normally she would have considered extremely intimate, but now such a thing seemed to come naturally.
Grabbing his face she wasn’t sure he moved on his own or if it was her pulling him, but he looked straight in front of him, right at her.
And even if by then she knew the drill, she didn’t give up. Chrissy still hoped for him to be able to see her, actually, she decided that it was happening, that Eddie was looking at her and not right through her.
She looked into his black eyes and pushed her thumbs into his cheeks, more determined now as she had ever been in her entire life.
“I am here, Eddie. I’m here, you’re not alone.” She nodded and for a moment she was convinced he saw her.
Chrissy took a deep breath and then pressed herself against him, sitting by his side. She hugged his figure as she could, even if she was considerably smaller and with shorter limbs than him. She pulled an arm around his shoulders while holding onto his arm with her other hand.
She leaned her head against his shoulder, nodding. “You’ll be safe. I will watch over you, I promise.”
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