#still had the same amount of stitches at the end
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Okay my homies in yarn I made it through tan hell and cream hell, I think light blue hell awaits
#captains log#knitting#yarn#acrylic yarn#knitters of tumblr#knitblr#double stockinette knitting#double knitting#red heart#red heart color blocks#lads dont look too closely but I fucked up somewhere#still had the same amount of stitches at the end#and the fuck up is only minutely visible if you hunt for it#BUT. I dont know how to pick up dropped stitches for double knitting#or unfuck double knitting#if youve got tips and tricks pls send them
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Sunrise
soldier!san x soldier!reader
military dilf/milf agents working in the special forces au
word count: ~29k
genres and warnings: mostly angst, sometimes fluffy, smut (mdni), violence warnings, past trauma, blood and weapons, basically its war but san makes it better <3
synopsis: you and san are majors in the special forces, having trained together after your sector was occupied. you both work as partners in your team now, surviving through hell together and having each other's back. you think the idea of romance while being in the military is stupid for a number of reasons, but san thinks otherwise and decides to prove his point, making you question your beliefs.
manager-nim: @eightmakesonebraincell (we talked about ateez as military dilfs and this happened LOL)
“I’ve had enough of grown men acting like children,” you muttered to yourself, trying to find the scissors in the box of instruments, shuffling them loudly and not realising you were holding your breath until the patient in front of you helped by picking the scissors right out as if they had been right there the entire time time.
“What was that?”
You glared at the grown man you had referred to now having heard your complaint, a faint smirk crawling on his lips as if taunting you- and perhaps, he was. You were acting like a child too. You were feeling like a child ready to burst at him.
You said nothing, only cut the gauze and secured it around the wound you had just stitched. His eyes continued to bore holes into you and you continued to ignore it as you took the ointment and a cotton swab, applying it gently on his grazed cheekbone.
“You’re clenching your jaw a bit too hard right now, Major Seo. You don’t want to end up being unable to sleep because your jaw hurts… again.”
Referring to the time you hurt your jaw- the only time you lost your footing even in your own memory. It made it on your Top Embarrassing Moments list, and he was a part of every item on that list. And the fact that your squad wouldn’t let you live it down made it worse. After all, you had lost your footing and bumped into a shelf because Major Choi caught your eye when he was taking off his jacket.
Major Choi San. Your squad member but probably your worst enemy too.
“At least I didn’t cut my arm trying to run after a cat, Major Choi.”
“The cat might have stepped on a landmine-”
“The cats are not that dumb,” you put a bandage on his cheekbone and intentionally pressed it harder than you had to, making sure this jab hurt with the one you had made verbally- referring to the time he almost stepped on a landmine after drinking. He had been grounded for weeks after and you had enjoyed every bit of peace that followed. “We literally have a mission in two days, Major.”
“Ah, don’t tell me you care,” Major Choi scoffed out loud and you couldn’t help but glance around you, noticing very well how the other nurses were eyeing the two of you while they treated their patients. You understood them but at the same time, you didn’t. You understood that most of them found him intimidating and for all the right reasons. You didn’t (though that was questionable too) because you two had trained together since the very beginning.
So, why did Major Choi refuse to be treated by anyone else other than you? Was it simply to get on your nerves? In that case, he should know he was already doing a good enough job. Or was it because you two were the only ones who were still here, still alive, after spending almost a decade on the field together? Or maybe it was because of that one time you both shared a traumatic experience-
You didn’t care enough, you told yourself.
“Of course I care,” you began, wrapping up the sprawled instruments on the trolley. “I will have to do twice the amount of work without you. And my risk of dying increases by a solid 14 percent. Of course I’d rather have you on the team.”
Major Choi rolled his eyes, getting up and wearing his jacket again, watching you close the medical kits and roll the trolley to a corner, shaking his head in amusement when you flipped a finger at him and went ahead to report him. He followed right behind you, wondering how to bait you into not reporting to their leader at all.
“Major Seo,” he called but you ignored him, knowing that ‘pleading’ tone very well. “Major Seo… Pretty.”
You rolled your eyes so hard you felt a sharp pain go through your skull. He was always making something up with your last name ‘Seo’, adding adjectives so he could call you something like ‘so angry’ or ‘so bossy’. You hated it and it had been a mistake to react to it in the beginning because he never let it go again.
“Say something like that again and you’ll have me presenting an exaggerated report. You won’t be seeing sunlight for a while, Major.”
“So feisty,” he shook his head and you stopped, turning to glare at him and he realised then, shaking his head furiously. “I didn’t mean it like that. Promise.”
You sighed, tuning out his rambling and knocking at the squad leader’s door. When you heard the familiar clearing of his throat as an answer, you stepped inside and the two of you saluted in synchronisation until the man nodded.
“Sergeant Kim, reporting to you from Squad 8,” you called and the sergeant scoffed.
“Major Choi got in trouble again?”
“Yes, Sergeant,” Major Choi decided to speak for himself. “I was… saving a cat from a landmine.”
“How many times have I told you to leave the cats alone, Major?”
“17 times as of now, Sergeant!” Major Choi saluted and you stifled a smile. The Sergeant asked you to report the damage and you did- it wasn’t too bad but if you had to go on the mission tomorrow instead of the day after like planned, he wouldn’t be able to join.
“If we have to go to the field tomorrow,” Sergeant Kim concluded, “You’ll stay back.”
“But, Sergeant-”
“And we better have clean rooms and a fresh meal when we get back,” Sergeant Kim glared at him. “If we go the day after… then you can join.”
You felt the Major shift from one foot to another and were reminded of the boy he used to be- when he was still Choi San and not Major Choi- suddenly feeling nostalgic. Some habits never changed. The Major cleared his throat and saluted in answer and you followed, leaving to go back to your rooms.
You both walked in silence as you approached the dorms and just as you were about to part ways, you heard Major Choi clear his throat and you spared a glance.
“I won’t be staying back, even if we have to go tomorrow,” his gaze was steel. “You, of all people, should know that.”
“I don’t want to risk bringing an injured squad member who could be a liability to the rest of us. You know that.”
The Major stifled a groan but before he could insist, you continued. “Do you remember the last time we took an injured member with us?”
His eyes flashed. “This is only a cut to my arm. It’s not something that will affect our mission.”
“Your aim could be affected. Whatever, there’s no point arguing with you,” you groaned, tired and ready to hit the bed and knock yourself out. “You’ll stay behind if we’re going tomorrow, end of the discussion.”
“We’ll see,” he said and you knew he meant that there was no way he wouldn’t join. You hoped Sergeant Kim, at least, wouldn’t give in to him tomorrow. You really could not lose another squad member just because they insisted on joining despite being injured, no matter how small the injury might be.
So you did the only thing you could do- pray you wouldn’t have to go to the field tomorrow. But you knew that as a Major in the Special Forces, you always had to expect the worst. You did not have the luxury of hoping for a miracle. All you could do was pray and ignore the gnawing feeling in your gut which was answer enough.
And it was not like your prayers were answered because as you woke up at the crack of dawn, you noticed that it wasn’t as noisy as it used to be. Already knowing what was ahead, you wore your black and grey uniform and got ready, taking a few deep breaths in the room before straightening and stepping outside.
It was awfully empty too- none of the others from your squad or other squads exiting their rooms with puffy eyes or tired figures. When you heard the sound of a door opening, you turned to see your own squad member, Major Yu, looking as confused as you.
“Where are the others?” She asked.
“Exactly what I’m wondering,” you frowned. “Did they perhaps dispatch Squad 6 last night?”
“Not when I was awake,” she wiped the sleep from her eyes. “Let’s go. We might have to prepare for the mission today, it seems.”
With a sinking heart, you both decided to go to the Sergeant’s office first and just as you had thought, the mission had taken an unexpected turn last night. The secret operation the other squads had been on for the past few days had been discovered and Squad 6 had been dispatched to help them, but they needed to change shifts now.
“It’s getting uglier- the enemy won’t let them go so easily,” Sergeant Kim said. “We’re carrying out our operation in 3 hours from now, so prepare for it. Make no mistakes- but first… eat breakfast. I don’t want any of you looking pale because you didn’t eat.”
Major Yu smiled at that and the two of you saluted, about to exit when you turned. “Major Choi San insists on joining the operation.”
“He’s ready to go,” the Sergeant shook his head and you gaped at him. “He got up quite early today. As if he knew.”
Indeed, you spotted him in the cafeteria gulping down his breakfast as if he was short on time when he looked as prepared as one could be, dressed in his gear and loaded with weapons. You rolled your eyes, taking your tray of food to sit at the table next to him.
“All this effort. Did you change your bandages?”
The Major stopped in the middle of stuffing his face with rice. “Uh… I thought I had to change it later?”
“You’re going to the field, you fool,” you couldn’t believe it. “What are you gonna do, ask me to change your bandage when we’re getting fired at from every direction?”
“Oh, but you’d do that for me, won’t you?” He teased and you pretended to throw up, Major Yu laughing at the two of you as she joined you. “Don’t worry. We can get the bandage changed now. I’ll undress for you-”
“And, there he is,” Major Yu sighed. “I really wonder what you’ve got against this poor girl, Major Choi. You should go to the medical ward- we have to prepare too.”
“Then the bandages can wait-”
“Ugh, okay, I’ll change them for you, we don’t want them infected,” you muttered, already feeling done for the day. He always had to be so stubborn. You simply did not have the time to entertain him. You had things to do- but first, you would change his bandages so he could get off your back and let you prepare in peace.
You had to admit- you were slightly amused to see him struggle unloading himself and taking off all the complicated belts and ropes before finally being able to take off his shirt so you could inspect his upper arm. You shook your head. “That’s what you get for being over-efficient. You could have waited until I woke up, but no. You had to be present before any of your squad members.”
“I knew you were not going to let me go, so I did what I had to.”
Even though working in the Special Forces had turned your heart to rock, it still fluttered whenever the man in front of you looked at you funny or said something like this. However, your face didn’t reveal any of it and you prayed he wasn’t observant enough to notice.
“Well, I can’t stop you now,” you sighed in relief to see he was healing up well. “Be careful not to rip your stitches. I’ll be carrying a kit so if you feel like something is wrong, you need to tell me before it gets worse, okay?”
“Yes, boss.”
“And stop being so casual with me,” you glared at him before taping a new bandage to his arm and securing it well this time.
“I literally called you ‘boss’,” Major Choi chuckled to himself. You poked your tongue in your cheek as you glared at him- or tried to, but his eyes curving when he laughed always put a smile on your own face. He noticed that and said, “You’re allowed to smile.”
“Whatever,” you chuckled. “Be careful out there, okay? We’re marching to Sector 1. It cannot get any more dangerous than that.”
“I know,” his tone grew grim and you knew you were both recalling the life-threatening situation you faced the last time you were there- about two years ago. “You’ll have my back, won’t you?”
“And you’ll have mine,” you said and he nodded. “Let’s all come back alive, okay?”
It was always like this between you two- especially after that incident a couple years ago. You two may tease each other to death and be out for each other like enemies but you trusted each other the most out of anyone else. Time and time again, you both proved what being a team meant. The Major got up and opened his mouth as if to say something but shook his head instead, and you resisted the urge to ask him to finish his thought, instead saying you’ll join him in the office after getting ready and went to prepare for the operation in your room.
It was a mechanical process now- gearing up in your uniform which was so black you would become one with the shadows, docking up on layers and ropes and packing your bag with all the necessities- a medical kit, some food rations, water, your radio and all the necessary equipment. Lastly, you hid weapons everywhere on yourself where you could, the only visible ones the guns around your belt and a sniper hanging by your shoulder.
You went to the office and found Major Kang and Major Choi Jongho already present, chatting with Major Yu. Your squad- and naturally, the rest started referring to Major Choi Jongho as ‘Major CJ’ which started as a joke first until it wasn’t anymore. You settled down near them and said hello, joining in the conversation- Major Yu detailing the events of the morning to them.
“So I genuinely thought someone had died, or worse, because it hasn’t been this silent around here since the time Major Han said she found Sergeant Kim attractive out loud,” Major Yu said and Major Kang burst into his trademark giggle that made everyone around him laugh. “So I found her looking as confused as me and she had that funny look on her face- you know the one she makes when she either has no idea what’s going on or when Major Choi says something weird-”
You rolled your eyes. Major Yu had to be the most laid back person in your squad and sometimes you wished she wasn’t so observant. “Whatever Major Choi does doesn’t affect me.”
“He literally makes you almost cry, but okay, we can pretend we don’t see that,” Major CJ said and the others grinned at you giving them the side-eye.
“Where’s he now, anyway?” You wondered. “He was up and ready so early that I’m wondering if he went to bed like that-”
“And of course you wonder how I go to bed,” Major Choi said, entering the room and having heard the last part, making you wonder how he always managed to appear at the worst possible timing. “I had to do what I had to.”
“Still, I think it’s too much,” Major Kang shook his head. “We don’t take injured people to the field. You know the rules.”
“But this mission requires my presence- everyone’s presence. We’re all going in, whether you guys like it or not.”
“Alright,” you shrugged. “If you become a liability, we’ll leave you on the field and return. At least my nurse duties will decrease by half.”
“And I’d have the room to myself!” Major Kang cheered and Major CJ grinned. Major Choi, however, was sulking deeper with every passing minute and Major Yu poked his elbow right where you had stitched it, making him scowl and you wondered if she did it on purpose.
“Ay, you know we wouldn’t do that to you,” she assured him. “But you have to admit, the thought of having one less person to write reports about is very tempting to me-”
“Please,” Major Choi groaned out loud and you silently laughed, knowing they were all trying to raise his spirits before the mission because he was the type to get very serious before going to the field.
A few moments later, Sergeant Kim and Major Han arrived in the office and all of you got up and saluted your leader before he settled down with you, now forming a little circle so he could look all of you in the eyes as he instructed you and shared the details.
“I’m happy to see all of you present and healthy,” Sergeant Kim glared at Major Choi who pretended to be interested in the very boring ceiling all of a sudden. “We’re leaving in exactly 30 minutes from now and we will be on standby at the border of Sector 1 before we go in to extract Squad 7. Squad 5 will take care of Squad 6 so if you come across anyone from Squad 6, you will take them with you but alert 5 before you take another step, is that understood?”
“Yes, Sir!” Everyone said in unison.
“Just like always, we’re splitting into teams- I’m leading with Delta and Sierra as Team 1,” Sergeant Kim referred to Major Kang and Major Yu who straightened and nodded. “Fox and Victor as Team 3, Charlie and Echo as Team 2.”
You being Echo and Charlie being Major Choi- you met eyes for a moment before nodding. Sergeant Kim continued, “If the two of you require assistance, you will call either Fox or Victor,” he referred to Major Han and Major CJ. “And if they cannot join you, then Delta or Sierra will. You’re at the heart of the operation, though, so be careful, okay?”
“Okay,” Major Choi’s grip on his rifle tightened- something that went unobserved by most but then again, you were familiar with every movement of his body.
“And lastly,” Sergeant Kim sighed- you all knew how much he hated delivering the final instruction which was- “If any of you is indisposed, you all know the rules. Our first priority is making sure the mission succeeds- and this time, it’s to extract Squad 7 who hold important data with them. Help will come later, till then… you’ll be on your own. May the fates be with you.”
A collective sigh went through the room- it wasn’t because of the fear of being indisposed, but the fear someone else would be and you would have to leave them behind. That was the hardest part. Sergeant Kim got up. “You are allowed to request backup, remember that. I will be back in 30- check each other’s gears.”
The half an hour passed by in a flurry of light jokes, assuring taps, fixing some part of the gear and then waiting until Sergeant Kim arrived in gear and the seven of you proceeded to move to the basement where three cars waited for you with additional soldiers. You and Major Choi got inside your car and travelled in silence for the rest of the way, watching the expanse of barren fields until you reached the border of Sector 1. You leaned a bit to see the silhouette of buildings that were at the heart of Sector 1- a city that had once bloomed with life, now dead and infiltrated with terrorists.
The city that had once been your home- and Major Choi’s, who was also staring into the distance with glazed eyes.
You proceeded to turn on the radio setup and connect it with the rest of the teams while Major Choi lazily cleaned his guns, sighing deeply in between. Once you were done testing your radios, you relaxed back and he finally spoke.
“Do you think we would have come across each other if Eden hadn’t attacked our home?”
You blinked at the sudden and personal question- another unusual thing from Major Choi today- you didn’t like being personal during a mission and he knew it. But the way you both had been stealing glances at what was once your home, you supposed curiosity got the better of him.
“I don’t know,” you shrugged. “Maybe? At some point of our life? Sector 1 isn’t too big.”
“I sometimes wonder if we were fated to meet each other,” he mused. “From being homeless to finding a place in the army- we have been together for a while, haven’t we?”
You pursed your lips- it still stung whenever you recalled the dark times. “Do you sometimes wonder what it would have been like if we didn’t make it in the army?”
“All the time,” he admitted, sounding grim. “But we… We kept each other in check. We still do.” You smiled at that and he joined, whispering, “We’ve kept each other alive.”
“Or maybe you have been stupid enough to not let me die- not without you,” you pointed out. “I still wonder what went through your head that one time you disobeyed all orders, risked your title and stayed back for me when I was indisposed.”
“But you did the same for me so many times,” he cocked his head. “You’ve risked your life for me more times than I can count.”
“We do that for everyone in our team,” you reminded him, though you knew he saw right through you. “We disobey orders all the time. I’m surprised they haven’t shuffled us around yet. Also, can you stop being sentimental right before a life-threatening mission?” You couldn’t help it and you both laughed. “There’s a time for everything, Major Choi San.”
He raised a brow at the way you called his name and you looked away- you could never meet his gaze long enough. Luckily, the radio sounded with your leader’s voice instructing you all to get out and walk on foot to the base in Sector 1 with your designated members and routes. You bumped fists with Major Choi before securing each other’s helmets, getting off the car and following the familiar barren road to the outskirts of the town, careful to avoid eyes but glad it was very hazy today.
The two of you walked in sync until you reached the abandoned hospital which was your station. You took the lead, he provided cover and you entered the building, inspecting it thoroughly as you made way to the 4th floor and took out the binoculars to monitor any sort of activity and help Sergeant Kim’s team get to the heart of the city. A few hours passed like that, mostly in silence, occasional comments or instructions passed through the radio, and you almost, almost relaxed until a loud blast shook you to the core, making you both instinctively duck down and cover each other, trying not to lose your footing as the ground beneath your feet rumbled.
A whistle rang in your ear and you took a few deep breaths- it wasn’t the first time you experienced a blast up close but it always made your heart sink in the worst possible way. You felt Major Choi squeezing your shoulder- you were alright. He was alright. You motioned okay at him and he peeked up from the window to inspect the damage and you followed after a moment. The six-story building that had been two streets away from you was now turning into rubble.
“That is Squad 6’s station,” you said. “Squad 7 might have been in there. We should move.”
Major Choi nodded and spoke on his radio. “Alpha- you heard that?”
“Loud and clear,” Sergeant Kim’s voice sounded grim. “Do not move right now. You’re the closest- you might meet trouble on the way. Wait for my instruction.”
“Copy that,” he replied and you both decided to move up another floor and see if you could spot the enemy somewhere. You did- a couple of men in cloaks leaving from the West Exit and you alerted Team 3 who went to inspect as per your instructions.
“We have about 20 minutes until it gets dark, and then you can inspect the damage to Squad 6’s station while on your way to the enemy’s base,” Sergeant Kim ordered. “We have retrieved two of Squad 7’s members. Team 3?”
“We have retrieved three of Squad 6’s members,” Major CJ reported. “That leaves one member from each team- Squad 6 here says they were last seen near the enemy base.”
“Team 2 will take care of it then,” the Sergeant concluded. “Meet me at the North Exit, Victor and Fox. We’ll take care of the enemy there.”
“Copy that,” the rest of you reported and you prayed silently that everyone would make it back alive. Meanwhile, Major Choi offered you a sandwich from his bag and you ate it while you kept watch, thankful that your station still hadn’t been exposed to the enemy.
As soon as the sun set, you put on your night vision goggles and started following Major Choi out, hands gripping the rifle. You both trod like cats- silent and alert. You reached the rubble of what was once Squad 6’s base in a few minutes and searched for any signs of life but found none.
“They must be around the enemy base somewhere then,” you said. “Let’s follow their last location.”
Your partner agreed and you both walked in silence yet again, hiding behind walls and rubble until you could spot the enemy base in your vision, noticing a few men walking around it, probably on guard duty.
“What if they’re held hostage?” You asked.
“Our mission is to extract them wherever they are,” Major Choi reminded. “We can request backup.”
“Let’s inspect the area first and then create a distraction before we move inside,” you suggested and he agreed.
All your senses felt heightened as you parted ways- mostly because you felt a bit defenceless that he wasn’t providing cover like he usually did. All you could think about was remaining alert and not missing anything, and you counted seconds until you spotted the Major again and joined him, containing in your sigh of relief because the mission wasn’t over yet.
“Request backup?” You asked.
“I’ll ask them to meet us right here after we’re done extracting the agents,” he said and you nodded, watching him speak into his radio while you tightened your gloves, buzzing with eagerness to get this mission done and over with. The two of you went through interconnected buildings and doorways until you stood outside a door in the basement of one of the buildings that connected inside the enemy base- some path they probably hadn’t learned about, if you were lucky, since they had quite recently changed bases. You were about to break the door when the Major grabbed your wrist-
Quite gently, you noticed.
“If things go south, you know what to do, right?”
You scoffed. “Who are we kidding, Major? We were never ones to obey orders- at least not from each other.”
Major Choi groaned loudly, almost in amusement. “If things go south, you will call for an immediate backup request, not wait for me and make your way out, is that clear?”
You did not like being talked to in that tone so you snatched your wrist and poked his chest with your gloved finger. “The last time I told you this… don’t even get me started.”
You both stared at each other, none of you giving in, his eyes locked on yours- the only thing you could see with the masks and the helmets. Your finger was still poking into his chest and he finally sighed, taking your hand in his and drawing it away. You swallowed the lump in your throat and shook your head. “If things look bleak, let’s not make them worse, okay?”
“Okay,” his voice was laced with amusement and you glared at him.
“I won’t be surprised if we have to change partners soon.”
“I won’t let them,” Major Choi promised. “You’re the only one I trust.”
“What did I tell you about not being sentimental during missions?” You broke the door, grimacing at the loud sounds that rang through the basement. “Let’s move, Charlie.”
“Got you, Echo,” he patted your back and you both stepped into the darkness, wearing your goggles again.
Every sound from that point on caught your attention. You could hear the Major’s breathing so you trained your ears to ignore it and focus on the other sounds. You walked along the path that only got narrower with each step and waited a few moments at the door which was the entrance inside the enemy base, letting the Major do his thing and check for any signs of life with his equipment.
“Empty room,” he whispered. “Go.”
You nodded and began unlocking the door with a set of pins, humming when it clicked in place and you opened the door- or tried to, since it was blocked. Major Choi helped you push it until the gap was big enough for you two to pass through and you carefully stepped inside.
“You remember the layout?” You asked and he nodded. “This must be the only storage room in the basement. Where do you reckon they would keep their hostages?”
“In the basement… in the cells. If not, they’ve defected.”
“Unless-”
“Unless that’s their strategy,” he completed and you nodded, glad your partner was one to follow his instinct and heart instead of the book, which if you were honest simply did not have a few principles right. “Let’s inspect the cells first.”
“You ready?”
Major Choi mirrored your motions- adjusting his guns and fixing the daggers in his sleeves. “Let’s get the party started.”
After that, it was a flash of blood and screams as you both exited the storage room, exterminating any enemy in sight until you reached the cells and found one of your agents inside, a bloody mess himself. You broke his chains and asked his name and when he said his codename ‘Bravo’, you were glad he was in his senses.
“Where’s Agent Oscar?” You asked and he shook his head.
“They might have taken him for questioning- I heard the guards talk.”
You clenched your jaw- this was going to get messier then, especially with the Major already firing at the incoming stream of enemy guards. “You can walk?”
“Yes,” he said and you accompanied him to the storage room, the Major providing cover. You instructed Agent Bravo to follow the path to the exit where backup would arrive in a few minutes, handed him a loaded gun and secured the door after him. You joined the Major who had just finished with a fresh wave of guards.
“They’re onto us. Let’s make it quick. I’ll shell them.”
You nodded and you took the lead this time, taking the stairs and firing at anyone who was unfortunate enough to get in your way and you made your way up another flight after inspecting the rooms on the ground level. Thankfully, you and Major Choi only had minor scratches and grazes right now- nothing that kept you from moving forward.
You took a sharp turn but got pulled back as a bullet passed, missing you by a fraction. You spared a glance at Major Choi who gave you a warning look and you heard what he meant loud and clear- ‘be careful’. Before you could continue, he took the lead and you provided cover, letting him guide you both to the end of the hallway where he turned-
And found himself faced with 5 guns pointed at his head. You were outnumbered.
You paused as well, a couple of guards aiming their own gun at you from the other end. You clicked your tongue twice and your partner understood, raising his hands in surrender and you followed suit- but what the enemy did not know was that you had learned a few magic tricks when you were little. You never thought you’d use them in the military, but here you were, a grenade rolling down the hallway out of nowhere and you clicked your fingers.
Three.
The guards shouted and you rolled another grenade with a tap of your feet, the others wondering where the hell it appeared from when your own hands had been raised as long as the Major’s.
Two.
Major Choi watched one of the guards point his guns at Agent Oscar who said a silent prayer as he looked up at the ceiling.
One.
You smirked to yourself, clicking your tongue again. The guards in front of you took cover while the ones in the room shouted at each other, trying to come up with an escape plan now that the grenade was right at their feet but failing.
Zero.
You and Major Choi switched positions in a flash and while he covered you with his body, you shot at the 5 men in a series while the grenade behind you burst. Unfortunately, one of them managed to shoot at you and the bullet landed in your calf though your reaction only lasted a few seconds. You felt the Major’s body shake against yours as rubble fell on the two of you. You ignored the pain burning though your entire body and glanced up, sighing in relief when you saw that Oscar was fine.
“We’re exiting from the window,” Major Choi got up and started planting the hook to the wall and dropped the rope down the building, groaning when he spotted movement outside the building too. He aimed at them with his rifle and got rid of them while you took care of any approaching guards, finding a few moments of peace.
“We’re sliding down first- he can’t walk properly,” Major Choi had noticed Oscar’s mutilated leg. “You’ll follow after I give the signal, okay?”
“Okay,” you breathed heavily.
“You good?” He scanned you, noticing the blood dripping down. You nodded but he made quick work of pulling a piece of cloth from his bag and tying it around your leg, securing the bullet inside, the pain dimming since it wouldn’t jab with every movement you made now. Oscar stood watch in the meanwhile, inquiring about the rest of his squad and you told him they were extracted, which made his eyes fill with life again.
“Let’s move,” Major Choi called Oscar and you went back to covering for them while they escaped through the window. You sighed in relief when your radio sounded to alert you that they had made it to the ground safely but the relief didn’t last long as a bunch of guards came in your vision and you hid.
“Come down, now,” Major Choi called and you took a deep breath, knowing you would have to jump a good distance since you didn’t have enough time to simply slide down the rope all the way down. As if Major Choi had read your thoughts, he was there to cushion your jump and the three of you disappeared inside the alleyway, trying to navigate back to the spot where backup would be waiting.
However, luck was not on your side tonight. One moment you were jogging to the building in front of you and the next, the three of you were thrown into the air, the bright fire blinding you momentarily despite your protective goggles. For a few seconds, all you did was stare at the sky, wondering if you had died or if the sky was simply so cloudy that not a single star could be seen. It wasn’t until you heard a familiar groan that you came back to your senses and crawled towards your partner.
“San- Are you okay?” You managed to ask- he seemed to have hit his head somewhere, blood trickling down his forehead.
“I’m good,” he exhaled. “Oscar?”
Oscar didn’t respond and you panicked, crawling desperately towards the limp figure and found his pulse growing fainter. You began dragging him with Major Choi to the nearest cover- a big chunk of cement and you stopped, out of breath. You took off your mask and checked your radio but it had broken. You muttered a series of curses, throwing your helmet away in anger while you planned your escape.
“Take Oscar with you to the basement- backup will be waiting,” you hoisted yourself up so you could lean against the rock. “I’ll join you.”
Major Choi narrowed his eyes, taking off his own mask. “You can’t walk, can you?”
“I don’t think I can right now, but I’ll be fine- I’ll be following close, I just need to catch my breath,” you coughed, mouth very dry. “Go, now. I can hide.”
“I’ll come back for you-”
“Don’t you dare,” you seethed. “It’s already been a bad day. Just take Oscar to the backup and wait for me there- do not send anyone else.”
“I won’t leave you in this state,” Major Choi announced- a plain and simple statement.
“Just go,” you begged. “Our mission won’t be complete until we deliver Oscar back. I’ll be fine- no one will come and check in here for a while. I’ll hide elsewhere.”
Major Choi looked conflicted, glancing back and forth between you and Oscar until you nudged his thigh with your boot. He crawled towards you, throwing off his helmet and your hand instinctively went to inspect his injury, sighing internally when you found it wasn’t as bad as you thought.
What surprised you was him locking his forehead with yours as he said, “I promise I’ll be back.”
Before you could respond in any way, he had drawn back and was dragging Oscar, navigating through the rubble and meeting your eyes, pointing towards north. You understood and made a note to yourself to kill him if you made it out of here alive tonight. For now, you were going to hide in the rubble and watch them until they were out of sight. As soon as they were out of your vision, you relaxed and sat back down-
And heard the most horrible sound of gunshots in the direction Major Choi had gone- so horrible that your entire being shook. You immediately stood up and took out your binoculars to try and see if you could spot them but it was no use.
You sat back down, looking up at the dark sky- where had it all gone wrong? It was like they were prepared, like they knew you were coming. Was there a rat in your base? Or was it obvious that the Special Forces never left their agents in the enemy’s hands? Were they expecting you because they knew you so well now?
You were glad it was so dark that the tears in your eyes didn’t blur your vision- there wasn’t anything to see anyway so you blindly started crawling towards north, staying as low as possible- you weren’t sure you could walk without limping now anyway. You went from hiding behind one chunk of rubble to another, checking your watch and knowing you didn’t have much time until someone would come to check if you made it out alive.
After crawling endlessly, you checked your watch- it took you about forty minutes to simply reach the end of the destruction the blast had caused. You hid under a rock yet again, out of breath and with trembling hands you took out your bottle from the bag and drank a few sips, storing the rest for later in case you needed it. You could see your surroundings now thanks to the faint glow of streetlights in the distance and wondered if you should inspect your wound- Major Choi had done a good job of binding it. You decided to let it be and rest for a few minutes before moving forwards.
Forwards. For how long? You were already feeling groggy. Your eyes were twitching and you weren’t sure if you could remain awake if you weren’t moving.
So you decided to move. You prayed Major Choi would come back for you and disobey every order because only then you could know he was alive. For once, you wanted him to come back, because if he died-
You heard footsteps and you aimed your gun at the source, seeing the silhouette of someone walk, almost limp in your direction- the walk looked strangely familiar-
You lowered your gun when the outlines of his body became visible- it was Major Choi. He was alive-
“I searched for you everywhere,” Major Choi whispered harshly as he crouched down and a whimper escaped your mouth as he crushed you in a hug. “I thought I lost you, y/n.”
You shivered due to a number of reasons- he hadn’t called you by your name in a very, very long time. The last time he did was to wake you up when you both had been hostages together and even that had been years ago. The last time he hugged you was a memory you had almost forgotten too-
Not forgotten. Pushed in the deepest part of your memory so it wouldn’t come to you at unexpected times.
You were amazed by how awake you felt now that his arms were around you, his hand in your hair keeping your face tucked in the crook of his neck. You sighed deeply, your uneven breaths synchronising. You tugged at his shirt and perhaps, it was a wrong move. Perhaps he was suddenly aware of the position you were in because he pulled back-
You didn’t want him to pull back.
“I-” you cleared your throat. “I heard the gunshots- are you okay? Where’s Oscar?” You heard him suck in his breath when your hand touched his arm as you were drawing back and you touched the spot again, finding it wet and sticky-
Blood.
“What happened?”
“They must have spotted us- they fired. The first one hit Oscar in the head. I’m sorry-”
“But you’re okay?” You asked. “Only this?”
“Yeah, but we lost Oscar-” his voice shook and you put your hands on his.
“It’s okay,” you assured him. “Oscar might not have made it anyway- his pulse was very faint after the blast. You’re okay- god, I thought they got you, San, I really thought they did-”
You felt his body language shift after you called his name and you wondered just how much you both missed normal physical contact, normal human interactions since only the sound of your names on each other’s lips was making you react- perhaps even more than the casual displays of affection. You shook your head, willing yourself to focus. “What do we do?”
“Our retreat spot is compromised,” Major Choi said, “I think we should head to safety first before we come up with a plan or try to revive your radio. Mine got lost.”
“Okay,” you breathed. “Where to?”
“North, I think,” he sighed. “We mentioned north quite a few times today to the squad. They should get the hint and find us there.”
“They should,” you agreed and he got up. You followed but stumbled on your feet and he caught your arm right on time.
“Can you walk?”
“Let me try,” you said, looking around before taking a step and biting your lips so harshly it almost drew blood- the pain in your leg was burning you at this point. “I think I’ll be fine… after a few steps.”
“You don’t look fine… Major.”
You glared at him, taking another step and this time unable to control the hiss of pain. He tsk-ed. “Get on my back- it’ll save us time.”
“I’m sorry but you’re not in the best shape either,” you pointed out. “And there’s no way I’m getting on your back-”
“Major, now is not the time for the little game we play of who makes it out in better shape,” he took a step forward and you instinctively took one back, making him groan. “Get on my back- don’t make me carry you like a princess.”
“Fine,” you gave up, “You better run then. There’s no way they wouldn’t spot us.”
With that, you hopped on his back and he hooked his arms under your legs. Silently, he carried you all the way towards the north, never stopping to catch his breath though you could see he was struggling- after all, he was tired too. When you could see the North Exit gate, you motioned for him to go to find someplace to hide- there would surely be enemy prowling here after Team 1’s successful mission. So the Major finally slowed down and turned in an alley and you helped yourself down.
“I don’t think we should risk going inside one of these,” he said, glancing at the abandoned structures of what had to be houses or shops once. “We should wait until sunrise before we try something. Let’s hide somewhere- come on.”
He took your hand and you both trod silently, sticking to the walls until you found a spot where it looked like whoever cared had collected rubble there to keep the rest of the city clean. A shed roof lay on the floor, twisted, and you pointed towards it. San helped you walk towards it and you finally collapsed on the ground under it, stifling a groan. Now that you allowed yourself to relax, the weariness was catching up and making your head spin.
Major Choi didn’t miss it- he immediately dug into his bag and handed you his bottle and two of the sandwiches he still had left. You asked him to conserve the water, glad you had your own bottle and took the sandwich, though the overwhelmingness of everything was making you nauseous.
“Can I inspect your wound?” Major Choi asked. You shook your head.
“I don’t think I can be quiet if you try to extract the bullet- I think… I think I’ve lost a lot of blood,” you gulped, patting your trousers and finding them wet. “I shouldn’t sleep tonight.”
“I’ll make sure you don’t,” he took a deep breath and you could see the worry on his face even in the very faint light. “Someone should find us in the morning.”
“You’re okay, aren’t you? Anything odd you’re feeling?”
“Just the dull pain now,” he admitted.
“You shouldn’t have come back, Major,” you chuckled, finishing the sandwich and urging him to eat his. He shook his head, offering it to you and you grabbed it only to stuff it in his mouth, making him chuckle. “You should have stayed behind. I would have been fine- someone would have come in the morning.”
“You know me,” He finished the sandwich in two bites, drinking a sip of water. “I don’t like making it back alone.”
You clicked your tongue in disappointment. “It’s a wonder they haven’t fired you yet. It really is.”
“I could say the same for you,” he raised a brow, shifting so he could sit beside you, back resting against the shed roof. “You’re not any different from me.”
You didn’t answer, recalling the old times. For a few moments, you were both silent and then the Major tapped your thigh and you hummed to tell him you were still awake.
“Don’t fall asleep- keep talking,” he ordered and you sighed.
“You’re better at talking. I’m better at listening.”
“Just keep talking, for heaven’s sake,” he shifted to be closer to you so your shoulders were touching now. “Don’t say anything out loud- only whisper so you don’t get thirsty.”
“Okay,” you coughed a little, clenching your eyes shut when you felt a fresh wave of pain consume you. You felt the Major’s bare hands snake in yours and you smiled faintly.
“You shouldn’t have joined the mission today. Things could have been very different.”
“We’ll talk about that when we get back,” he dismissed. “Tell me what you want to do when you get back.”
“Sleep,” you laughed a little and he grinned. “What’s the time?”
“Almost midnight.”
“Damn it,” you sighed deeply. “I don’t think I’ll make it-”
“No,” he squeezed your hand. “I’m with you. I’m not letting anything happen to you. I won’t lose you- not like this.”
“Whatever,” you shrugged though you had to admit you were pleased to hear it. “Wait- isn’t that what I said when we were held hostages in Eden?”
“You remember?” He asked. You two hadn’t talked about the events of those three very, very long nights you had spent as hostages in Eden’s territory. “I thought you deleted that memory or something- you never addressed it again.”
“It’s not a good memory,” you said.
“True… but some of my favourite memories are from those days,” he began. “I made it out alive solely because you refused to let me die.”
“Is that why you’re doing the same right now?” You asked.
“Maybe,” he said and you looked at your interlocked hands. “Maybe I like us as a team and don’t want to lose you. Maybe I like you even as a friend- after all, we’ve been together for so long, haven’t we?”
“Back when we were still a boy and a girl,” you recalled. “What happened to us… San?”
There it was. The unintentional squeeze of his hand. You glanced at him and he met your eyes.
“Do you like it when I call you by your name?”
“Don’t you, y/n?”
Something like butterflies in your stomach as his deep voice sounded made you suck in a breath. “Well then… should I call you San? At least for tonight? Just like the old times?”
“Just like the old times,” he smiled, looking ahead. “How did we get here?”
“We refused to let each other go because we were rivals back then, of sorts… I’d say we still are- but we’re better as a team than rivals, aren’t we?” You said and San agreed. “It would just be even better if you stopped being an ass to me in routine.”
“It’s because I love to see you all riled up,” he said, body shaking with laughter. “It’s so easy to rile you up.”
You yawned big and wide and San waited until you were done. “You with me?”
“I am,” you told him. “Tell me then- do you do it on purpose? Only let me treat your wounds? I’m not your personal nurse, you know.”
“You know my reason,” San muttered. “Otherwise you would have downright refused. You know, don’t you?”
“Because you don’t like to show your scars to anyone… And because I’ve seen every scar on your body since the beginning, haven’t I?”
“You’re the only one who looks without judgement,” he admitted. “You know I wasn’t always the best.”
“Look at you now!” you said dramatically. “The best of the best.”
“We are, as a team,” San pointed out. “You remember how bad we are when partnered with other members.”
“Ah, right,” you giggled and San looked at you in horror. “We don’t really coordinate with others, do we?”
“What is that sound you just produced,” San scoffed. “I wonder what other sounds you make, Major.”
“You want to find out?”
San looked away- how come you both had switched roles now? “Looks like the blood loss is really getting to your head now.”
“It is,” you admitted, sinking down a bit and resting your head on your partner’s shoulder, feeling him freeze for just a moment before he relaxed. “I don’t think I should talk anymore.”
“I’ll keep you awake with pain if I have to,” he promised and you grimaced- you had done the same to him once too. No doubt he would return the favour. “If I see you getting groggy, I’m going to press on the wound, you hear me?”
You almost cried- the pain was already too much, but you knew he was right. “Why are you being like this?”
“I would do this for anyone- I cannot let you die on my watch,” he announced. “Which reminds me- give me your radio.”
“Oh, right. Are you sure I’m not the only one suffering from blood loss?” You said which he ignored, crossing his legs as he started inspecting the radio remains. You lit your watch to provide him with better light and watched him twist wires and cut them with his teeth, attempting to revive it-
For a very small moment, the sound of static came through and you both almost rejoiced until it died down. You asked San to do whatever he just did again and he did but it wasn’t any use now. The radio was dead.
You both slumped back to your original positions and this time you were the one who found San’s hand and squeezed it in assurance. “It’s okay. You’ll be fine.”
“We’ll be fine,” he sighed. “Stop considering yourself dead already. If you survived that moment when we were surrounded by seven guards earlier, you can survive the night too. Good work there, by the way.”
You grinned. “How did you know what I was planning? I was half worried you’d misunderstand the signal and get us all killed.”
“Oh please, when have I ever made that mistake?”
“Are we forgetting that one time when I was waving at you from a distance and you thought I was saying hi-” you paused when San chuckled.
“You were saying ‘get the hell away’, I know,” he shook his head. “I was just curious why.”
“You keep telling yourself that. The fact is, you made a mistake which got us both grounded for two weeks.”
“Yet here we are,” he scoffed. “Still a team. The best of the best.”
“Are we?” You thought out loud. “When we’re always at death’s door?”
“Well, let’s see,” San took a deep breath. “9 out of 10 missions are successful- that’s a pretty high rating for someone in Special Forces, don’t you think? And even if we’re compromised, we’ve never lost data. Even now, I retrieved the chip from Oscar,” he patted his pocket and you looked proud. “We just have to make it back alive now, so hang in there, alright?”
You were silent for a few moments, focusing on San absently caressing your hand and glancing at you a few times to make sure you were awake. You checked the time- there were still about 3 hours until sunrise.
San grunted in pain and you opened your eyes, realising you had almost dozed off. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing,” he said but you noticed his eyes twitching.
“How bad did you hit your head back then, Major Choi San?”
He rolled his eyes but you could tell it had to be something related to his head injury because his other injuries were minor. “I’m fine.”
“Can I see it? Properly?”
“I said I’m fine.”
And that’s how you knew he wasn’t. You shifted, ignoring the pain exploding through your leg as you put your injured leg over the Major’s to get half on top of him and access the other side of his head- the one you had noticed he kept away from your vision. San grabbed your wrists in an attempt to stop you but you glared at him, tski-ing in warning and he gave up, letting you inspect it.
It looked like a normal gash and it had stopped bleeding, so maybe it was a concussion. You sighed. “Are you feeling nauseous? Dizzy?”
“A little,” he admitted.
You pouted, going back to sitting next to him. “Looks like I’ll be the one keeping you awake for the night.”
He laughed to himself and you joined. “You’re making it sound like it's an awful task.”
“It is,” you rubbed your face. “Let’s not fall asleep, Choi San. Your turn to tell me what you would like to do when you go back.”
“Sleep,” he laughed and you poked his thigh. “Okay, I’d like to get a few days off. Should I get you some days off too?”
“What will we even do in our free time?”
“We could go somewhere,” he looked at you. “Remember Sector 6?”
You didn’t expect him to bring up Sector 6. It was the one time you both almost crossed boundaries with each other- your squad had gotten a few days off and all of you decided to spend those days like ‘normal people’ in the ‘normal’ sector- the one known for its lively atmosphere. The town that never sleeps, it was called. Somehow, you and San strayed away from the rest of the team and had a night you would try to forget for the next few years, the one you were still trying to forget-
It wasn’t even anything much. You two had drank and danced in a club. You two had joked about getting hooked up except you two couldn’t stay away from each other even when you tried. Whenever you looked at someone, San would make some comment about what type of a person they were. You were ashamed to admit you did the same to him too- so you two only danced with each other-
Only looked at each other.
Something had changed after that. You couldn’t shake off the ghost of his hands on your waist, on your shoulders, a comfortable weight. You called each other by your names and it almost felt like you two were only civilians, friends who were flirting with each other. At one point, he had hugged you and told you that you were the best thing that happened to him, though you were pretty sure he forgot all about that the next day, since he claimed he remembered nothing- he wasn’t good with his drinks, so you believed him.
Until he brought it up again, now.
“Sector 6?” You scoffed. “Why would you want to go there again?”
“Do I really need a reason to relive that again?”
So cryptic. You tried to make sense of his words but you couldn’t.
“Well, if we live through tonight, might think about it then,” you said, trying not to recall the things you had said to San that night. Things you wished he really had forgotten.
“Do you think we’ll live to see the sunrise?”
You glanced at San. He looked weary- perhaps, he really did need a break. You rarely ever saw him look weary. You did not like him with such low spirits. You only squeezed his hand and let the silence fall- you were both too tired to continue talking anyway, so you both resorted to tapping out morse code. It was nostalgic to talk that way, though all you were tapping was curses and ‘awake?’, it made you reminisce about your time together as agents. You supposed you would let the memories flash by- after all, you might really not live to see the sunrise.
The two hours following had to be the longest of your life. Your fingers were tired from tapping to each other, but at least that meant you were alive. You would occasionally drink a sip of water or shake each other. Sometimes you would recall a funny memory and share a brief laugh. But by the end of it, you were both so groggy that you had to press into San’s now ripped stitches to make him wake up, earning a groan that was too loud for your liking. You also made him press on your wound and you cried this time. The pain was nowhere near dull.
You didn’t notice the sky getting lighter until the rays of sun hit your face and you looked at San who was almost dozing off. You shook him.
“Hey. We lived to see the sunrise.”
San opened his eyes, blinking a few times and you watched the sun cast shadows on the sharp angles of his face. His brown eyes looked warm as he smiled.
“We really did live to see the sunrise…”
You smiled, squeezing his hand. All you two had to do now was wait for a signal- there was this new kernel of hope in your heart that you would make it out alive now- even if backup never comes, you two would make it out alive somehow-
“I wish to see the rest of my sunrises with you too.”
You stopped in the middle of shuffling through your bag, not having the strength to meet his eyes- you recognised this tone of his voice so well you knew how he would be looking at you anyway. However, you couldn’t help the smile creeping up on your face and you took out your medical kit, finally having enough light and the newfound energy to do something about San’s wounds at least.
“That’s… not something you should be saying to me. You do not wish to see the rest of your sunrises with your partner in Special Forces, Major.”
“And if I do?”
You finally looked at him, narrowing your eyes. “I think I should have done something about your wounds earlier. You’re in a worse state than I am, and I am the one who got hit by a goddamn bullet.”
San chuckled, unbuttoning his shirt and letting you take care of his stitches- he knew you were doing it not because it was necessary but because you would have something to focus on. Perhaps you were dizzy for a different reason now, in which case…
“You think I don’t mean it?”
“Major Choi San,” you warned-
“Look at me, y/n,” he called and you sighed deeply, finishing cleaning his wound and then meeting his eyes, your heart sinking at the way he was gazing at you. “You know I don’t lie. You know that. Everything that I say… I mean it. I really, really do wish we’ll be together for a long time.”
“You like working as a team that much?” You tried joking but he shook his head, his hand finding yours and snaking up to caress your wrist. You gulped, finally looking at him and the two of you just stared at each other for a few moments.
“Whatever’s going on in your head… don’t say it. Not now.”
“Why?”
“Because I don’t think I’ll be able to make logical decisions right now,” you muttered, taking your hand away from him with immense willpower.
If you expected San’s spirits to lower, he was smirking too hard for that right now. “So that means there is something, isn’t it? How long are we going to pretend we don’t like each other like that?”
“San-”
You heard the familiar sound of a high pitched frequency and turned towards the source, San getting up immediately and taking a look around, spotting a black flag raised in the air- backup.
“Finally,” you groaned in relief. “Help me up.”
“Finish your thoughts first,” San hovered over you and you rolled your eyes, knowing there was no way out of this.
“God, you’re insufferable,” you laughed, raising your hand and he helped you up, purposely pulling you to him so you bumped into his chest and you smacked it. “I think you’re the most annoying person in my life, but I like you anyway.”
“Perhaps you’re right- must be the blood loss speaking,” he couldn’t believe his ears. Normally, you would have pointed your gun at him and threatened to blow his brains out if he ever said something like that. “Let’s talk about it when we get back. For now… thank you for being alive, y/n.”
“Thank you for coming back for me too, San,” you felt way too emotional all of a sudden. “I really thought something happened to you when I heard the gunshots- I just… thank you.”
The Major brought a hand to your face and caressed it as if it was something he did every other day. He planted a lingering kiss to your forehead and you bit the inside of your cheek to contain the sigh that threatened to leave your mouth. He simply smiled when he met your eyes as he drew back and motioned for you to follow him.
—---------------------
Your team leader allowed you to rest first before he came to check on you both in the evening, looking scarier than ever, especially having caught you both with ‘stupid snacks’ like he used to refer to them, giggling like kids with the rest of your team.
“Major Choi and Major Seo,” he called and your grins fell. Major Yu attempted to hide the lollies but was interrupted by Major Kang, who had tried doing the same which just made them roll dramatically on the floor until they hit the Sergeant’s boot. His frown got deeper especially when Major CJ chuckled out loud and Major Han slapped his arm to shut him up.
“The two of you-” he began, taking a deep breath. “How the hell did you make it back alive this time? I think I'd better like you dead now.”
Major Kang snorted. San cleared his throat. “Major Seo kept me alive!”
“Major Choi kept me alive!” You responded and he groaned.
“I don’t care who kept whom alive- you need to present a full report to me right now. There’s something I need to check. The rest of you- out.”
The team left with a series of grunts and more than one ‘boomer’ thrown at the Sergeant which earned them a threatening (but playful) raise of fist in the air. You began narrating the events, San filling in the gaps occasionally. The Sergeant nodded along until you told him about being cornered by the guards when you found Oscar.
“Did you perhaps recognise any of those guards?”
“They were all wearing masks,” San looked at you and you nodded. “I noticed one of them had a tattoo on his wrist.”
“What kind of a tattoo? Do you think you can recognise it if I show you some pictures?” Sergeant Kim asked and Major Choi said he would try. You continued to narrate the rest of the story and San mentioned the chip he had handed in earlier when they arrived.
“It’s a shame we lost Oscar, but good job staying alive and completing the mission- both of you,” Sergeant Kim acknowledged and you both relaxed in relief. “There is a reason I send you both in the heart of the operation most of the time- it’s because I trust you both. It’s not that I do not trust the others, but the three of us have worked together for the longest- and we were once a team, after all- back when I was still Major Kim,” he smiled and your heart warmed- the Sergeant wasn’t much older than you both and the three of you had been a trio back in your early days- though you both always called him your captain anyway. It’s like he was meant to lead.
“I trust you both to complete the mission no matter what, and I trust you both to make it out alive each time- even if it takes days,” he continued. “For a while, I’ve been suspecting there’s a rat around us. I don’t know which squad or who, but the past few days have been a sign enough that we’ve been betrayed- especially since they captured so many of our agents. I want you both to stay alert and wary of everyone- even the ones in your squad,” he sounded disappointed. “I know you trust your squad but you both almost died today, and I cannot help but be worried.”
You watched the Sergeant sigh deeply. “Is there anyone you suspect?”
“Not at the moment, at least not from our squad,” he admitted. “Or maybe it’s because I’m making a mistake of trusting them. Perhaps I’m making a mistake in letting you both know too. Maybe the rat is one of you.”
“Yeah, it could totally be me,” you began, scoffing. “I asked to be shot so I could pretend to die and do what?”
“Or it could be me,” Major Choi chuckled. “I went back to finish Major Seo but ended up using my last shreds of humanity to save her instead. Should have killed her when I had the chance-”
“I’m only saying!” Sergeant Kim laughed this time but you weren’t having it.
“You know what- maybe he’s the rat,” you looked at the Sergeant and San agreed. “He usually makes it out unscathed. Wonder what that means.”
“You both know there’s a reason why I rank higher than you both,” he scoffed. “With the amount of times you get hurt, I should lower your ranks-”
“Sergeant, we’re just joking. I trust you both. I really do. And I trust my squad too, but I’ll keep my guard up anyway.”
He nodded. “Take some rest, you both. Once you’re back, I have another task for the two of you- until then, I’ll take care of it.”
“What’s it about?” San asked but the Sergeant waved his hand and left. You pursed your lips.
“I knew it wasn’t simply bad luck- there must be someone who reports our activity to Eden.”
“And we can’t even narrow it down since there were four Squads involved in this mission,” San shook his head. “Do you think Sergeant Kim will be sending us on a false mission again?”
“I hope not,” you sighed, glancing at your bandaged leg, thankful the bullet hadn’t done much damage. “I need… a break.”
San laughed at that. “When are you scheduled to get some days off?”
“In two months, I think,” you tried to recall the exact date.
“That’s too far away. If we can’t have a break right now… we could at least get some drinks together?”
“You can’t even hold your liquor, Major,” you muttered and he glared at you. You shrugged, “I’m not taking care of you if you get drunk again. Last time was enough.”
“What did I do last time?”
“See? You don’t even remember,” you muttered, looking away. Last time, and the time before, and every time San got drunk… he was a mess- especially with you, and you weren’t sure if he realised it yet. “We could just go to town to get dinner. No drinks.”
“Come on, we haven’t let loose in a while-”
“Did someone say drinks?” Major CJ entered and you muttered ‘oh no’.
Because the next night, you heard a knock on your room around 10pm and you opened the door to see Major Han grinning widely.
“How’s your leg healing up?”
“Pretty well, actually,” you told her. “What’s got you so giddy?”
“We’re having drinks in Major CJ’s room,” she winked. “Even Sergeant Kim is there.”
“Oh, you better go then,” you winked back. “I think I’ll stay.”
“Oh no, you won’t,” she grabbed your hand and pulled you, making you squeal. “Sergeant Kim ordered me to bring you there.”
“No way he did,” you muttered. “Let me change?”
“Oh, you look fine,” she said, scanning your black tank top and shorts. “Absolutely ravishing.”
“Let me get a jacket, at least,” you laughed and she finally let go of you with a grin. You grabbed your uniform jacket and followed Major Han to the men’s dorm which was opposite yours, going in the direction of where all the noise was coming from-
It was a mess. Not just your squad- even some from Squad 6 were present. As soon as the Sergeant spotted you, he smirked.
“Oh no. I’m going back-”
“No, you’re not,” Sergeant Kim got up and you attempted to leave but he grabbed your wrist and everyone else laughed.
“I’m here because I’m keeping an eye out for odd behaviour,” he whispered and you scoffed.
“You’re already almost drunk. I don’t think you can ‘keep an eye out’ for much longer…” you faltered when he glared at you- “... Sergeant.”
“I need you here too- you’re good at detecting odd behaviour,” he dragged you back towards the table and you sat between him and Major Kang. “Just like old times.”
“Just like old times,” you raised the drink he poured you, clicking with the rest on the table, Major San across from you, a flush already creeping up on his neck. “Just how long have you all been drinking?”
“It was going to be just us, but Sergeant Kim decided to join,” Major Kang began. “And then he called Major Yu- they’re boomer drinking buddies so they cannot even drink without each other.”
“I’m not a boomer…” Major Yu drawled. “I am the life of the party.”
You and Major Kang ignored her and you got into a discussion about who was the best drinker in the room- it was definitely Major CJ who Major Kang said had been drinking for an hour now but still looked fresh. You two began ranking the people in the room, occasionally passing a comment, purposely ignoring San’s watchful eyes on you.
“I think the worst has to be San,” you tsk-ed. “Look at him.”
Major Kang raised a brow at the way you addressed him- he had never heard you two call each other by your first names. In fact, all of you always referred to the other formally.
“I think you must be pretty down on the ranking too if you’re calling him ‘San’,” Major Kang commented and you stared at him in confusion until it sank in. However, you could redeem yourself.
“I don’t think a Major looks like that,” you pointed at the very flushed, almost drowsy and very giggly Choi San and Major Kang almost choked on his drink as he laughed. San seemed to have noticed that and wasn’t having any of it now- he got up and went around the table to push Sergeant Kim away from you so he could sit with you.
“I bet he didn’t ask you to keep an eye out for something odd,” you scoffed. “You can’t even look after yourself right now.”
“I am a fully conscious individual right now,” he began and you shared a grin with Major Kang who was watching you two. “I may look red but I’m crystal clear inside.”
“Yeah? How many fingers do you see?” Major Kang raised three fingers.
“I’m not blind. Two.”
You hadn’t laughed this hard in such a long time that you had to put your head down, feeling dizzy for a moment. Major Kang was laughing just as hard, clapping along and you looked up to see San smiling at you.
“I know it’s three. I just wanted to make you laugh.”
“Ohh,” Major Kang looked between you two. “You can’t tell me something hasn’t changed between you two now, Major Seo.”
“He’s drunk,” you shook your head. “Everything that comes out of his mouth from this point on is nonsense.”
Thus started an argument between the three of you and halfway through it, you shut your eyes and tuned out the men on either side of you now in a heated discussion about something else entirely. You opened your eyes, wanting to rest your folded arms on the table but San was taking all the space. San, and his stupid muscular arms looking spectacular in his stupid white tank top-
Yes. You were definitely tipsy now.
You definitely were, because for quite a while you simply watched the man crowding your personal space talk. You smiled at his little habits of blinking too many times when he felt dizzy or cracking his neck to shrug off the sleep. You itched to inquire about his healing progress- for all the times you complained about being his personal nurse, you sure were worried now. You licked your suddenly dry lips when he spared you a glance.
“You okay?”
“Move, you’re taking too much space,” you muttered, pushing his arm away with your elbow and he grinned. The Sergeant got San’s attention and you and Major Kang watched the others for the rest of the night-
Until most of the agents left and San was such a drunken mess that you couldn’t take it anymore.
“Will someone please take him to his room? Or just drop him here, I don’t even care,” you mumbled. “Just get him off of me, please.”
Major CJ was cackling. “I’m not touching him. He starts demanding cuddles.”
“Neither am I,” Major Kang was half asleep but not because he was drunk.
“You both literally share a room, Major,” you glared at him.
“Jongho, do you mind if I crash over tonight?” Major Kang asked.
“Not at all,” he glanced at the Sergeant. “We can throw him on the couch, you can take his bed.”
“Wow,” you tsk-ed at all of them. “Traitors, all of you. Major Han?”
“I can’t even carry myself right now,” she said, almost tripping on her feet. “Why did Major Yu leave me all alone?”
“Probably to avoid this mess,” you muttered. “Major Choi San, wake the hell up, right now.”
“I wasn’t asleep,” he mumbled.
“Then get the hell away from me?” You glared at him in disbelief- he was using your arm on the table as a pillow and it was starting to hurt. “Go to your room and sleep.”
“Help me up then,” he said, not even opening his eyes. You looked up and gathered the last of your willpower to push his head away and pull his arm.
“Take his keys,” Major Kang tossed them in the air and you caught them, flipping a finger at him. He only laughed in dismissal. You asked San to at least cooperate with you a little and that your leg would hurt if you had to carry him, which was when he finally opened his eyes and straightened.
“You shouldn’t suggest drinks ever again,” you told him, hooking your arm in his and helping him walk straight. “Look at you. Such a mess.”
“You don’t look so bad either,” he grinned and you shook your head. He pointed at the room at the end of the hall and you looked around while you walked.
“Is this your first time coming here?”
“No, but I haven’t ever visited your room since we got posted here,” you told him, unlocking his room and pushing the door open- it was pretty much the same as the other rooms but with beds on either corner of the room since he shared it with Major Kang.
“There you go,” you tried unhooking your arm but he tucked it in. “I should go now, I’m tired. Let me go.”
“I don’t want to…” he pouted and you dug your nails in his arm until he winced and let your arm go. You laughed in victory, taking a step away.
“You’re supposed to heal me, not hurt me!” He rubbed at the marks your nails left but then stopped, admiring them. “You know what? I think I’ll keep them as a badge of honour anyway.”
“Wow, okay. Want me to give you some more? This time bloody marks, perhaps?”
The way San looked at you in that moment, his eyes slowly filling with mischief and lips curling into a smirk, you finally realised what you had said. This time, you were the one flushing and you turned to leave, muttering a bye but he caught your wrist.
“Maybe I’d like that.”
“You’re very, very drunk right now,” you laughed. “You won’t remember this tomorrow anyway.”
“You think the memories don’t come back to me?” He asked, his tone changing and you stopped struggling. “You think I forgot this exact moment? In Sector 6, when…” he pulled you towards him, making you face him. “When we danced all night long… just like this,” he interlocked his fingers with yours, his other hand finding its way inside your jacket to rest on your hip. “Do you remember?”
You were afraid to ask just how much he remembered. You weren’t sure you could manage to form a question right now anyway, especially with the way he was looking at you. You could feel your walls coming down-
All it took was him bringing your interlocked hands closer to kiss your hand and you felt the years worth of effort melting in an instant.
He had done the same thing that night, in Sector 6. And you had almost kissed him and told him how much he meant to you. But you had been drunk, and you had managed to keep yourself in control, though you couldn’t stop yourself from saying things you regretted saying ever since.
You were drunk tonight too- though you were pretty sure this was the most awake you had been for a while. San still had his lips on your hand, his eyes glazed as he looked at you.
“We shouldn’t- I was drunk-”
“Then tell me you didn’t mean anything you said back then,” he scoffed. “Tell me you don’t think about us every night before you sleep. And tell me you’re not holding yourself back right now, because Major… I know you. I can see that you’re holding back.”
Indeed, he was familiar with every movement, every shift of your body like they were his own. He could read your eyes and your silence like you could read his. So when you didn’t respond, he dared to take another step and let his hand on your hip snake back so he could pull you closer, closer until you were flush against each other and you-
You couldn’t bear to look at him anymore, not without doing anything you might regret, so you did the next best thing and rested your head on his chest, making him freeze for the slightest moment before he relaxed and let go of your hand only to embrace you in a hug- a hug that made you melt into it and you wondered just how much you had craved this all along.
“Did I tell you how glad I am that you’re alive?” He mumbled, taking a deep breath when your arms finally went around his waist. You nodded, nuzzling the crook of his neck with your nose as a yes. He squeezed you in the hug before drawing back and kissing your forehead just like he had a couple nights ago. You inhaled deeply, wanting to stay in that moment forever. Perhaps he saw that- after all, this was probably the most vulnerable you had looked in front of him. Perhaps he wanted to test the waters- he kissed your cheek next, his hands resting on your shoulders.
“Do you still think I’m not in my senses?”
His words rang in your ears and for a few seconds, you just stared back at him, trying to get your brain to work and scream at you that this wasn’t something you should be doing, especially with someone you worked with. Not like this. Not now. But the silence in your brain was louder. You found yourself inching towards him, eyes fixed on his parted lips that looked like your salvation right now.
“I don’t want you to do something you will regret later-”
You ignored his warning and pulled him towards you, meeting his lips in a kiss. You drew back, finding him more surprised than you had thought- as if he hadn’t practically led you here with his own hands. You kissed his lips again, tasting the sweet tinge of alcohol- a reminder that perhaps, this wasn’t right. But you didn’t care. You’ve had enough of this. So you kissed him yet again, but he remained unmoving. You drew back and frowned in confusion.
“Why won’t you kiss me back, Sannie?”
It was like you calling him by that name undid something in him- he let out a guttural sound before cupping your face and kissing you back like it was the last time he would get to do so- and perhaps, he feared that it was. With your somewhat clouded minds, maybe this was just in the heat of the moment- for you- because he was so sure about himself. He had wanted you for so, so long and now that he finally had you-
You tried to meet the pace of his desperate kisses but it was overwhelming you, so you let him kiss you as he liked for a moment before breaking apart for air. You cupped his face, your heart breaking at the way he looked so unguarded.
“San- I’m right here. I’m not going anywhere- I’m right here.”
“You’re here… with me.”
“I’m here,” you nodded with a smile, pecking his lips. “I’m right here. I’m not going anywhere.”
San understood and then kissed you so gently that the butterflies you got earlier in your stomach felt weak- this was how it should feel, like something in you was becoming undone and you could melt right there, in his arms, and be there forever. You wrapped your arms around his neck to meet his lips better and he held you close to him as if his arms were the only reason you were standing- you realised it was true because your knees were putty. He made you wrap your legs around him and pinned you to the wall, making you sit on his thigh while he kissed you.
The way he kissed… you were absolutely losing it. The sound of his mouth on yours and the little grunts he produced were driving you crazy. The way his hands stayed on your waist, his thumbs hooking on your tank top made you shiver against him and he smiled into the kiss. And his tongue- oh goodness. He was incredible and you were wondering why you hadn’t done this earlier.
This time when you broke apart, he started trailing kisses down your neck and you shut your eyes in pleasure, rocking against his body, and when his lips stayed on one part of your skin unmoving but his hands gripped your hips, you realised he liked what you were doing. He liked you moving against his thigh. He looked up, a shit-eating grin on his face.
“Just how long have you wanted me, Major Seo?”
You raised a brow, annoyed, and smacked his arm, making him chuckle and capture your lips in a kiss again, guiding you towards his bed where he sat you, getting on top of you and you were both grinning and about to kiss again when-
When you both heard the sound of click on the door and couldn’t do anything but watch Major Kang enter, humming to himself, and then looking up-
And freezing.
For a few moments, it was so silent that you could hear your own heartbeat in your ears.
“Uh… carry on, please, don’t stop on my account,” he finally said, looking mortified. “I’ll just see myself out-”
“Wait-” you called but he only waved and disappeared, making you look at San-
And then you both burst into laughter, unable to tone it down, laughing as loudly as you could until you had tears in your eyes. San wiped his eyes, shaking his head at you.
“You really won’t be laughing like this tomorrow, y/n. I hope you will be, but I know you.”
Your smile slowly fell. You found San’s hand and looked at your interlocked hands for a long time. San didn’t ask what you were thinking- he knew anyways. So when you said you were going back to your room now, he let you- but not before he kissed you again and you responded enthusiastically- you really had no control over yourself tonight, it almost turned into another makeout session but San drew back.
“You should go. But when tomorrow comes… don’t tell me you regret any of this, okay?”
“I won’t. I promise.”
He visibly relaxed. “Goodnight, y/n. I’ll come with you- I have to fetch Major Kang anyway. He might be traumatised.”
You chuckled, saying goodbye and going to your room and finding yourself unable to sleep because you couldn’t help replaying what just happened in your head- smiling like an idiot in love.
Maybe you were.
—--------------------------
“Can you stop looking at me like that?”
“Like what?” Major Kang raised his hands in surrender. “I’m not looking at you.”
You paused in the middle of cleaning your bullet wound to glare at the man in front of you who was also in the middle of changing his own bandages in the medical ward. He stifled a smile but failed, opting to turn his back to you instead.
“Just say it. Say it and get it over with.”
Major Kang sighed deeply. “Look, I’m not interested in what you and Major Choi do when you’re both alone- ” You threw the roll of surgical tape at him which he caught with a glare but he continued, “-I really did not have to see that sight when I came into my room, Major Seo. That’s all I’m saying.”
Years of training did not teach you how to keep the flush from your face. “I didn’t mean to-”
“Yeah, I’ve heard it before. ‘It just happened’- ”
“Shut up,” you groaned. “It really did just happen.”
“Don’t tell me it was your first time,” he scoffed and when he didn’t get a response, he gasped out loud, actually looking concerned for once. “It was your first time?”
“Yes,” you muttered, looking around and glad no one was in the vicinity. “If you’re thinking me and Major Choi are a thing, you’re wrong.”
“So you only made out yesterday because you were drunk?”
Was what you were asking yourself ever since the morning too. It was definitely not because you were drunk- moreover, you promised San that you would not regret this.
And you did not. You were just confused about a number of things, especially how this would go on now. And you were glad the day was almost over and you still hadn’t come across San because you weren’t sure you could face him right now- you needed to get your thoughts straightened.
“You’re confused,” Major Kang scanned your face with curiosity. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you this confused, and I’ve known you for a very long time now. Something happened when you two were out there until we came to retrieve you, right?”
You sighed deeply, finishing bandaging your leg again and seating yourself on the corner of the bed. “I always thought that Major Choi joked around with me, but you know how he gets around me when he’s drunk, right?” Major Kang nodded and you continued. “I thought he only did that to rile me up or something-”
“He didn’t, but okay, carry on.”
You passed him a side-eye. “We’ve had a few moments in the past two years. Moments when I wondered if Major Choi was going to cross the boundaries of professionalism and do something that might change our dynamic-”
“Can you sound any more cryptic?” Major Kang sighed. “Just say that you like him.”
“I do!” You groaned out loud, burying your face in the bed.
“Major Choi likes you too- you’ve just been too blind to see it.”
“I know.”
“Then I don’t see the problem?”
“I just…” you got up. “We’re special agents, Major Kang. Do you think it’s a wise decision to make? To be with a member of your team, of all the people in the world? We walk into death’s trap every other day and it’s honestly a miracle that we’re still alive, isn’t it? We’re on borrowed time. I just… I cannot make this more complicated than it already is.”
“Hmm… it makes sense,” Major Kang finished bandaging his own arm and sat next to you. “But that’s the agent in you speaking about all this professionalism and stuff. It’s not like the other agents here don’t have a family. Major Yu is a mother. You think she didn’t think about this before marrying a civilian?”
You bit your lips- it was true. Major Yu was someone you had immense respect for- she was balancing her work and personal life extremely well. As a mother, as someone with a family, she probably risked more than any one of you when going into missions. Major CJ was the only provider in his family too.
“I think there’s something else you’re scared of… and perhaps, you haven’t figured out what exactly that is yet,” Major Kang smiled knowingly. “I think you just need to go with the flow. If you really think you’re on borrowed time, shouldn’t you be living each moment to the fullest instead of holding yourself back?”
That line stuck with you.
It stuck with you for the rest of the day, making you wonder just what would be so bad about being with Choi San and what was really stopping you and making you so afraid of the future.
You didn’t try to find Major Choi that day but you knew you couldn’t avoid him forever. You did come across him the next day but it was with everyone else and it was very casual- as if nothing had happened between you two. You were arguing just like usual, met up with Sergeant Kim to get the files and data for your next mission and the three of you planned a strategy for hours until you parted ways for the night. You wondered if he had actually been so drunk that he forgot the events of that night when a knock sounded on your door and you checked the time, wondering if it was one of the girls who needed something-
And blinked twice when you opened the door and found Major Choi in front of you.
“Is something wrong?” You asked, looking around, wondering if something had happened-
“Shouldn’t we talk?”
Oh. Your eyes went wide and you pulled him inside, shutting the door. “You shouldn’t come here so casually.”
“Why? Major CJ comes and goes as he pleases- I’ve never seen anyone feel strange about that.”
“Jongho is everyone’s baby here,” you told him. “He’s like our little brother. We don’t mind him,” you grinned. “However, you coming here is another story-”
“Oh? On a first name basis with Jongho yet the first time you called my name in years is because we thought we wouldn’t live to see the next day?”
You scanned his figure- he was still in his uniform and it looked like he hadn’t gone back to his room at all. He had removed the bandage from his cheekbone so there was a dull graze instead. His hair was no longer combed back but messily falling on his forehead as if he had been running his hands through them.
“If you wanted to be called by your name that bad, you could have just asked,” you said casually, steering towards the small kitchen in your room and offering him a drink. He raised a brow.
“Should we drink again?”
You sighed deeply, resting your figure against the counter and ditching the drinks. “You came to talk.”
“How’s your leg?”
“Oh, it’s fine,” you looked down at your bandaged calf. “How’s your arm?”
“What do I mean to you?”
The room fell silent. The silence was too suffocating. You did not realise how long you simply stared at San until he took a step towards you and you took a step back, watching hurt flash in his eyes.
“Wait, let me just…” you tried saying something to undo that moment, swallowing the anxious wave that spread through you. You took a deep breath and looked at the man-
The man who meant the world to you. The only person who had been in your life for so long and was such a big part of it. How could you ever tell him that with words?
“Just tell me one thing, y/n,” he insisted, his voice low and so cautious. “Tell me if you regret where we are right now.”
“I don’t,” your response was immediate. “I don’t regret any moment of it.”
“Then what are you so afraid of?”
You looked away and this time you didn’t stop San as he inched closer towards you until he could hold your hands in his. “Tell me what’s holding you back.”
Your heart fluttered at the sight of your linked hands. You weren’t sure you could say anything that would not hurt him at that moment but there were some things you needed to address. “Should we really do this, Major? We’re special agents. We’re a team. You can’t tell me this is a good decision.”
“Do you think I care about that?” He asked. “We’re a team and we will continue to be a team. Nothing will change.”
“That’s a lie, though,” you smiled sadly as you looked at him. “Everything will change. Everything has changed.”
“Not for me,” he brought one hand to tuck your hair behind your ear, studying your eyes and trying to decipher the puzzling look in them. “I have loved you for so long that it’s become a part of me now.”
You shut your eyes, letting that sink in and when he took another step towards you, you didn’t stop him as he kissed your forehead. “I know you feel at least a fraction of what I feel for you. So tell me all your fears, y/n. I’m here.”
“Isn’t it obvious?” You laughed a bit. “I’ve always talked about professionalism, haven’t I? I’ve always talked about how unprofessional it is to have an intimate relationship with someone in this field when you don’t even know if you will live to see the next day. How can I do this and not be afraid, Major?”
“I mean…” he pouted. “You’re right but we’re still alive-”
“Major Choi San-”
“Okay, I’m sorry,” he laughed and you were kind of grateful that he was keeping it light because you weren’t sure what sort of a mess you would become otherwise. “I know what you mean. I feel that as much as you do. But y/n…” he caressed your cheek. “Every mission where we cheat death, I grow more and more afraid of losing you. And then I think about what I will regret if I lose you- not telling you how I feel about you. How much you mean to me.”
“That’s why I’m afraid, San,” you admitted. “I know one day it’s going to happen. I know why I’m here, I know how dangerous it is, and I have seen what happens when you lose someone in this manner. You know that.”
You were referring to your mother. He knew the stories about your family quite well- you told him when you first became friends. “This war is ugly. We’re here to end this and we will die in the process. It is our fate. We’re only going to make it more complicated for us if we do this.”
Major Choi did not like the way you thought about these things- time and time again, you both had been on opposite ends in this argument. He had tried so hard to break your walls and make you see life from an optimistic lens. He wished you could take a peek in his mind.
“I would rather die happy than to live regretting what I could have done for the rest of my life,” San said, making you lock eyes with him. “I would rather have known the taste of your lips, the feel of your skin on my skin than to imagine what it could have been,” he leaned down to whisper in your ears-
“And I would rather have known the sounds you make when I touch you, because god, I cannot get those sounds out of my head.”
Warmth pooled in your stomach at his words and perhaps he was good at triggering you to do things you wouldn’t normally do because you saw the opportunity and took it- you saw his bare neck and snaked your hand up to push the collar of his jacket to the side so you could plant a sweet kiss at the spot you had your eyes on- the spot that had made him squirm that night. This time, he was the one making those sounds and perhaps he was right-
You’d rather die having known all those things. Having known what he felt like, in every way possible.
San’s grip on your waist tightened a bit as you trailed kisses up his neck to his jaw and then caressed the scar on his cheekbone with your thumb. You were dazed in that moment and you did not want to think about anything else except the fact that he was so close to you right now, so close that you could feel the warmth of his body and it felt so welcoming. You buried your face in the crook of his neck, realising it might be your favourite spot. San let you have your moment until he hummed to make sure you were alright.
“What are you thinking, love?”
You sighed. How could you ever get used to him calling you ‘love’? How could you ever get used to being in his arms and feeling so safe? How could you go to the field with him covering you? You would want to shield him from everything. But then…
You have always felt that way. Perhaps he was right. It wouldn’t be so different.
You didn’t respond. You drew back and scanned his face once before locking your gaze on his lips. He got the signal and he immediately planted his lips on yours and you kissed him, feeling every nerve in your body ignite with pleasure. One of his hands went to rest on the back of your neck, his thumb caressing your skin and guiding you as he kissed you better, deeper until you had to draw away and catch your breath.
You melted at the way he couldn’t open his eyes for a few moments. For the shortest moment, you could understand why you were afraid of all the wrong reasons, though that did nothing to soothe your anxiety. It was only San kissing you again that made you forget about all your fears and let yourself get lost in that moment. He picked you up effortlessly and took you to the couch, placing you down ever so gently as he got on top of you.
“I need you to use your words,” San moved your hair away from your face gently, searching your eyes. “Tell me we’re good.”
“We’re good,” you nodded. “San, please-”
San realised what you meant when he noticed the position you both were in- he was hovering on top of you but his knee was dangerously close to your core. His breath got caught and he looked at you again but before you could take the matters into your own hands, he held your wrists.
“Tell me what you want.”
You groaned, looking away but San wasn’t having any of it. He leaned closer, turning your face to him gently by placing his fingers under your chin and made you lock eyes with him. You watched his lips curl into a smile and he said, “Look at you, Major. You’re all flushed.”
“Shut up,” you laughed, attempting to hide your face but he was grinning, not allowing you to do so. You huffed in defeat, locking eyes with him yet again, trailing one hand up his arm and then down his chest to unbutton his jacket slowly. San watched you while you did that and then his jacket fell open, leaving him with a black tank top underneath. You were about to snake both your hands under when he gripped your wrists again.
“You still haven’t answered me.”
“I want you,” you breathed, propelling yourself forward so you could meet his lips and you pecked them. “I want you, Major. I want to be with you for the rest of my life, however short it may be, even though the rational part of my brain still thinks it’s a bad idea,” you said, letting San fall back on the couch so you were now on top of him with your legs on either side of him. “I don’t know how long I’ve wanted you for, how long I’ve loved you because I know I do, I just… never allowed myself to think about this, so,” you bit your lips, looking at him and finding his gaze overwhelming. His grip on your wrists loosened and you took that chance to place your hands on his collarbones, caressing them. “You mean so much to me. I will always be afraid of losing you. And I don’t know how we’ll figure this out- how I will figure this out since you seem to have the hang of it already, but…” you both laughed at that and you locked eyes with him. “I want you.”
San kissed you, lingering there. “Say that again.”
“I want you,” you breathed, meeting his lips again and opening your mouth as soon as his tongue swiped your lips, your arms going around his neck to hold him closer as you kissed. It wasn’t rushed yet there was a sense of urgency now that you both had bared your hearts to each other. And San wasn’t shy while making out with you at all. His hands were everywhere and soon, he shifted so he was back to being on top of you, which was when he started to trail his lips down your neck.
“Can I take this off?” He asked, fisting your shirt and you nodded, taking off his jacket first. He smirked, taking off your shirt for you and leaving you in a black athletic bra. He shook his head in amusement but went back to trailing kisses down your neck. You shut your eyes and lowered your defences- that was what he was aiming to do. His kisses were gradually releasing all the tension from your shoulders and you wondered how he knew that. His hands travelled up your waist and you opened your eyes, nodding and he wasted no time taking off your bra as well and when you pouted, he laughed, taking off his tank top.
“Now we’re even,” he grinned, looking shamelessly at you and you resisted the urge to fold in on yourself.
“No, we’re not,” you muttered. “And stop looking at me like I’m your last meal.”
San laughed heartily, kissing your lips and you smiled into the kiss. “You’re beautiful. So beautiful. Seo beautiful.”
“Shut up,” you groaned. “That joke is the worst thing I’ve heard.”
“It cracks you up everytime,” he muttered against your mouth, kissing you again and diving down, his hand cupping one of your breasts and playing with it while he kissed and licked and nibbled everywhere he could. You couldn’t breathe and you put a hand over your mouth as if you needed to stifle your sounds but he noticed that and held your hand away.
“Don’t be shy, Major. I need to hear you make all those pretty sounds.”
“God, you’re insufferable-” you began but he went to attack your sweet spot right at that moment, earning a little moan and then he smiled in victory, making you slap his arm. You decided that he had teased you enough and with your legs, you pushed him away to get back on top of him, your chests flush against each other and your arms around his neck, holding his face closer to yours as you kissed him deeply, rolling your hips on his lap and earning a loud groan from him. You grinned in the kiss but this time, it was you who groaned when he grabbed your waist and made you do that again.
“Don’t stop,” he pleaded, kissing you again and you nodded, matching his movements and finding him hard against your core. You weren’t trying to hold back your noises anymore and neither was he, and you were glad at least one of you had a room all to themself so you could do this without any worries. You gave up on kissing at some point and snaked your hands down his chest to the plane of his stomach, tracing his abs, and then down and down-
“Shall we take this to bed?” San suggested, stifling a groan when your hands played with the waistband of his pants. “You’re not shy anymore.”
You shrugged and he got up, making you wrap yourself around him, giggling as he made his way to your bed, dropping you gently. He caressed your injured leg. “We don’t want you to be uncomfortable, do we?”
You hummed, letting him take your trousers off and he got back on top of you, admiring your body and wondering where to start. You poked his stomach with your toes and he laughed, nuzzling your neck with his nose and you took a moment to memorise how that felt, because…
You felt so, so safe. There were no alarms ringing in your head. There were no sounds alerting you except the sound of his breath or his kisses which relaxed you. There was no sense of rush, for all your talk about ‘being short on time’. You wrapped your arms around him and he was quick to detect the sudden shift in your mood but didn’t say anything. He knew you were figuring it out along the way now, and he was elated that you even gave him a chance to prove that it wasn’t as bad as you thought. He settled next to you, bringing you in his arms and you placed a leg on top of him. His hands went to cup your thigh and your breath hitched at the sensation of his hand so near where you wanted him so, so bad. You fiddled closer and he kissed your head, letting his hands caress your inner thigh.
“Are we good?”
“So good,” you almost moaned, kissing his lips again. You wanted- no, needed him at this point. And you were glad he understood you so well, so when his fingers slid inside your panties, you shuddered against him. He caressed your folds, finding you soaked and kissing you eagerly as he slid his fingers up your wet folds, rubbing your clit once and you moaned into the kiss, pushing your hips against his hand to meet his movements better. He continued like that, just teasing you and kissing all your moans away before he finally slid one finger inside you-
“Fuck,” he groaned in your ear. “You feel so good.”
You didn’t respond, shutting your eyes and letting him continue like that for a while until he slid another finger inside you and you groaned loudly.
“Gosh, you’re perfect,” he met your lips in an open mouthed kiss. “Look at you. All needy for me.”
“You look like you’ve done this before,” you bit your lips, stifling a moan. “You’re pretty good at what you’re doing.”
“Am I?” He grinned, pressing his thumb to your clit and making you squirm. “I think it’s just because I know you so well. I know exactly how to get you riled up, Major.”
You rolled your eyes but when he started to stop teasing and start pleasing, you brought him closer, your kisses messy and needier now as he drove you to the edge and he drew back to watch you fall apart on his fingers, shuddering deeply and out of breath. He peppered kisses on your face as you recovered from your high and you finally opened your eyes.
“Shall I return the favour?”
San raised a brow before it hit him and he groaned. “I don’t think I’ll be able to stop if you decide to touch me tonight, Major.”
“I never asked you to stop-”
“Shh,” he scolded, putting a finger on your lips and you took that chance to kiss it, making him laugh in disbelief. “I don’t want to rush anything with you,” he kissed you deeply. “I will have you soon, I promise that. I should let your leg heal first. I know it still hurts.”
You pouted deeply and he settled next to you, holding you in his arms. “Just let me hold you like this tonight, okay?”
“If that’s what you want,” you said, content to be right there. There was no better feeling than this. “I will have my revenge soon, though.”
“Oh? Is that how it is now?”
“Yes,” you grinned, “I will settle the score soon.”
San shook his head in amusement and you teased each other for a while, occasionally riling the other up until you both fell asleep in each other’s arms.
—----------------------------
You were starting to understand why people always choose love no matter what their circumstances were. You were starting to understand how they found love even in the darkest of times, because…
Choi San was making sure that you would never feel alone or sad again.
A lot had changed since that night. While working, you two were pretty much the same. He would still rile you up with his bad jokes (were they bad if they did make you crack up later?) and you would still threaten to off him each time. It was very casual like before, yet…
He still refused to get his bandages changed by anyone else and invited himself to your room each morning and night so you could play his nurse. In the mornings since you were short on time and had to get to work, you two would joke around or share a light kiss which was routine now- you still marvelled at how it had become something you could call ‘routine’. But at night…
You asked Major Kang later if he was lonely because his roommate was spending most of his nights in your room. He only laughed in response and said he couldn’t care less because Major Choi annoyed him enough in the day so he could make up for it. You tsk-ed at that, having missed the chance to use that card on San so he could stop coming to your room all the time- surely the others must have noticed now as well. But could you really put all the blame on him when you were just as eager to see him at nights as he was?
Perhaps, you were more to blame. He would come in your room with the excuse of you checking on his wounds, and each time you would end up tracing the scars on his body, kissing some of them and that would turn into a makeout session and more, until you were skin on skin. He would return the favour then- trace your scars but each time with a story-
“I wish I had reacted earlier so you wouldn’t have gotten this.”
“I wish I had been there instead of you.”
You knew that the Major had the softest heart since the beginning, but it still amazed you when he looked at you with such hurt in his eyes, as if it physically pained him to see your body littered with scars. You told him it was okay, that these scars were unavoidable and you didn’t think much of them, but he only responded that he found them beautiful- especially the ones you took for him.
“Oh? Can you count all the ones I took for you?” You had asked.
“I can. I bet you can count all the ones I took for you too,” he responded with a smirk.
He was right. You could. You had his body memorised since the very beginning- you could trace each of his scars with your eyes shut. You told him that and he was pretty pleased to hear that, attacking you with newfound affection and adoration that sometimes you found overwhelming but loved anyway. Overwhelming only because you had pushed him away all these years and-
And because it reminded you of your parents.
Your parents had been so much in love. Your mother would wait for the weekends when it was time for your father to visit from the army. She would become a different person in his presence and you had loved that about her. You often resented your mother for breaking apart after your father’s sudden death, but now you were starting to understand what she must have felt because you were sure you would be the same. However…
She did not possess the power to protect her partner. You did.
You were thinking about that when San nuzzled your cheek and broke you out of your trance. “You’re zoning out, love.”
You realised that you were- you had been staring at the documents in your hands for far too long now. You cleared your throat and started arranging them again so you could get back to the page you had been reading before you got lost in your head. San watched you do so and asked, “Is something bothering you?”
“No, I was just thinking about a few things,” you said, remembering where your train of thoughts started when you found the page. “Look- that’s Agent Golf, right? From Squad 6?”
“Major Lee, yes,” San scanned the page. “From that damned mission two years ago.”
You recalled that very well- the agents here still referred to that incident because everyone thought it had been a mistake to take an injured agent to the field. Sure, you needed manpower at that time and every soldier counted, but…
You all could still have avoided Major Lee’s death.
“I don’t remember him much, I’m sure you’ve interacted with him more,” you began and San nodded in agreement, “Was he close to his squad members? Like we are?”
“He was one of the older members,” San recalled. “So I’m sure his juniors depended on him a lot.”
“Did they ever find his body? I remember the funeral but I remember they didn’t find a body.”
“I’ll have to ask Sergeant Kim. What are you thinking?”
“I’m just wondering…” you began, your gut feeling making you confused. “I’m wondering if he is still alive.”
“If he was…” San shifted towards you. “I’m sure someone would have gone to retrieve him or he would have found his way back. It’s been two years.”
“Yeah, you’re right,” you shook your head and put the page back inside the folder. “It’s sad. We don’t even know if he had a family.”
“I’m sure his squad members will be taking care of that,” San placed his hand on your shoulder, rubbing it assuringly. “What’s really bothering you, love?”
You passed him a side-eye as you smiled. He knew you too well. “Nothing. I just don’t like the idea of performing a background check on people we are supposed to trust. I don’t like the idea that there is a rat among us.”
San could understand. “I’m more surprised than mad. I don’t know why anyone would choose to do that- when Eden has destroyed our home and families.”
“Right? I’m trying to look into why anyone would do that in the first place. That way we would be able to narrow down our suspects.”
“And is that why you were looking into Major Lee? Do you think he might be alive?”
“I was probably overthinking,” you sighed, cracking your neck. “I’ll look into the rest later. Do you want some tea? Coffee?”
“Coffee, please,” San said and you nodded, kissing his temple and getting up to go to the kitchen. Today had been a long day and you were getting tired of suspecting everyone around you- at least not your squad. They could never do that.
You were just mixing up different blends of coffee when you felt arms wrap around your waist and you jumped, making San laugh. “I didn’t even hear you!”
“I wasn’t trying to be silent. You’re too lost in your head tonight,” San kissed the top of your head. “Long day?”
“Since I can’t go to the field for a while, Major Yu is making me do all her paperwork while she goes in my place,” you sighed. “I like being in the field better. I can’t sit at the desk all day.”
“I miss you too,” San muttered and you laughed, trying to grab the sugar pot but San just held you closer, resting his head against yours. “I miss being on the field with you. I had to partner up with Major Yu- she couldn’t stop cracking jokes through the radio- I almost got caught because of her twice.”
“I think that’s how she copes,” you giggled. “And you better be careful. I’m done nursing your wounds.”
“Are you?” San backed away only to stare at you. “Because I distinctly recall you kissing all my wounds a couple nights ago-”
You smacked his chest, asking him to back away if he wanted his coffee, but when he swung you around whilst tickling you, you were positive your laugh must have rang throughout the dorms and you put a hand over your mouth when he placed you on the counter.
“Major Choi San, the entire dorm must have heard my laugh-”
San shut you up with a kiss, catching you by surprise. However, you were quick to melt into it, the butterflies in your stomach wild. You wrapped your arms around his neck as he deepened the kiss and when he broke apart, he watched you as you caught your breath, your lashes fluttering while you gazed at his lips- he was driving you insane.
“You know how much I love it when you laugh, don’t you?”
You sighed internally- the Major was pretty direct with his words and feelings. No beating around the bush- not from him. Sometimes, you appreciated that because he was so clear and straightforward with you, no room left for confusion.
But at times when he said things like these…
San smiled, watching your cheeks get flushed. “You know… I never thought it was that simple to make you blush. With just words. You never blush when we make out or have sex, but…”
“What can I say? I’m not hard to please,” you laughed a bit, burying your face in his neck, still shy from his sudden comment. “Maybe you should have tried that instead of teasing me all this time.”
San hummed in agreement, running his hands down your arms and then snaking them inside your shirt to hold you at your waist. You kissed his neck in response, fisting his shirt and looking up at him. “This needs to go.”
“Oh?” San scoffed. “Not tired anymore, are you?”
“Oh, I still am,” you helped him take off his T-shirt, running your hands across the smooth planes of his chest. “I’m just waiting for you to do something about it.”
“And? What would you like me to do about it?” San brought his hand up to your face to caress it as he looked at you lovingly, tracing the curves and edges of your face and sliding a thumb across your lips, a faint hint of smirk on his own lips as he slid his thumb inside your mouth. You pretended to bite him, making him grin but then you sucked on it until he looked pleased. He traced it across your lower lip again before kissing you softly.
“Words, love. I need your words.”
“You can do whatever you want to me-”
“That’s pretty vague,” San cocked his head. “I could leave you right here and go back to sleep.”
“Well then,” you huffed. “Why don’t you bend me over and fuck me? Is that what you want to hear?”
“Ah, that’s better,” San started taking off your clothes until you were in your panties only. You watched him take in the sight- he always did that. His eyes would travel everywhere along your body as he ran his rough palms across them, and then he would start kissing your neck, peppering kisses anywhere he liked until you were squirmy and needy for him. It was as if he aimed to please you and you alone- he wouldn’t let you have your way until he was done with you.
You clenched your thighs as he stopped sucking on the crook of your neck and he noticed, raising a brow. “Already needy for me?”
“Do something about it,” you said through gritted teeth and he let his hands run down your sides until he hooked his thumbs in the waistband of your panties. You spread your legs for him, your core throbbing painfully now- and perhaps, he could see it on how you furrowed your brows. San rubbed at your clothed clit and you moaned loudly-
And that was his undoing. He dragged you closer and slid his fingers under your panties, sliding them along your wet folds and sliding his tongue in your mouth simultaneously, making you grip his shoulders as he kissed you. You lifted yourself up so he could take off your panties and he did, bending down to slide them off your legs and gripping your thighs afterwards, spreading them to see the mess he had made-
“In just a few minutes… you really want me that bad?” He commented and you groaned.
“Fuck you.”
“Oh, you will,” he promised, trailing kisses up your thighs and keeping them apart before his lips reached dangerously close to your core. He looked up at you once, settling on his knees before licking up a stripe and you cursed loudly, one hand supporting you up while the other automatically went to grip San’s hair-
Oh, how he loved that. He licked up again before his tongue dived inside you and his thumb started rubbing slow, slow and steady circles on your clit. It was too much and at the same time, it was not enough- you wanted him impossibly closer to you. He was driven by your moans and he was so good at what he was doing. You tried clenching your thighs but he wouldn’t let you. You moaned shamelessly when his nose rubbed against your clit as he shifted his position and at this point, he was practically making out with your clit.
“San, please,” you begged. “I’m so close.”
He only hummed, inserting a finger inside you- he had done this enough times now to know exactly what drove you to the edge. The combination of his finger inside you, his nose rubbing against your clit and his tongue lapping your juices while he hummed against you drove you to your high and you tugged at his hair as you broke apart, clenching your thighs against his face but he did not stop- he continued with his ministrations until you were spent and you recovered from your orgasm. When he finally looked up at you, he grinned and you chuckled to yourself, running your hands through his hair. He got up and wiped his mouth with his hand.
“You’re delicious.”
“Shut up,” you smacked his chest but he shook his head, capturing your lips in an open mouthed kiss and diving his tongue inside so you could taste yourself on him and the way he kissed you, gripping your neck and hips and scooting you closer so you spread your legs and met his hard bulge made warmth pool in your stomach again for what was in store next.
“I’m nowhere near done, as you can already tell,” he muttered, tucking your hair back before taking out a condom from his pocket and shrugging down his trousers and boxers, his hard length swollen and ready to take you. You licked your lips at the sight and he noticed that, shaking his head in amusement as he pumped himself a few times before wrapping the condom around his length.
“Fuck me, San.”
“What?”
“Fuck me, Major Choi San,” you said, not a shred of exhaustion in you as you wrapped your legs around his waist and brought him closer, his length wedged between the two of you. “I want you to fuck me right here, hard.”
San growled in your ear, biting your earlobe in response and positioning his cock to meet your wet folds, rubbing it against them a few times before sliding it inside you and you helped position yourself better, letting out a deep breath once he was fully wedged inside you-
And then he pumped himself in you- hard.
Your eyes rolled back in pleasure and he started pumping his length in and out of you, kissing you anywhere his mouth could meet in between, your hands running across his back, chest, waist, and gripping at his hips.
“Harder, San. Harder,” you begged. “I don’t want you to be soft this time.”
“Babe, do you want me to break you?” San asked, slowing down.
“Yes,” you breathed, kissing his lips. “Break me.”
San groaned, placing his hand on your neck and pushing you back until you were flat on the counter and you decided you liked this position better already, until-
Until he placed your legs on his shoulders and started pumping into you and your moans got uncontrollably loud, his length hitting you so deep in places you hadn’t discovered earlier.
“You like this, huh?” San groaned. “Want me to use you like a ragdoll?”
You only moaned in response, already close even though he seemed nowhere near done and you wondered if you really should have asked for this- though the pleasure now was nothing like what you had before. He took your hand and placed it on your stomach, pressing it so you could feel him pumping in and out of you, while his other hand remained on your neck, occasionally squeezing it lightly making your walls clench around him uncontrollably.
“So tight for me,” San grunted, “Always so tight for me.”
“I’m so close-”
As soon as you said that, San squeezed the sides of your neck and pumped deeply into you, making you break apart with a loud moan, the orgasm heightened thanks to his hand on your neck. He continued for a few moments until he, too, groaned loudly and reached his orgasm, shaking as his body rested on top of you.
You both stayed like that for a few moments with you caressing his head. When he recovered, he started peppering soft kisses all over your face, making you giggle. He drew back to lock eyes with you, and before he could say anything-
“I love you so much.”
His eyes went a little wide at the sudden confession. He smiled, pecking your lips. “I love you too. I’m glad you finally caved in, y/n. I’m glad you’re mine.”
“Hmm, you might need to be a little more convincing…”
San raised a brow, laughing loudly at your suggestion. He snatched a few tissues from the table and started cleaning your thighs.
“Next time you say that you’re tired,” he began. “I’ll understand that you just mean you want to be fucked-”
“San!” You laughed, getting up from the counter and down on the floor, your legs wobbly and you instinctively held on to him.
“You were saying?”
You glared at the man, smacking his chest as you muttered you were going to the shower. He shook his head, deciding to follow you there too.
—----------------------------
“Route 2 is clear, Team 1 please proceed forward,” you said into the radio, switching your position to the other window, making sure Team 1’s exit point was also clear. You heard a ‘copy that’ confirmation and zoomed in on the exit.
“All clear on the West Exit. Team 2, please report your status?”
“We’re ready,” Major Choi’s voice sounded.
“Copy that. Proceed to the West Exit from Route 4. Team 3, I need confirmation for data retrieval?”
“Data retrieved,” Major Han responded.
You moved to the other end of the room, signalling Major Yeom to keep watch on the West Exit while you checked Team 3’s route. After confirming a clear path, you called in the radio, “Team 3 towards North Exit- avoid Route 3. I spot movement.”
“Copy that,” Major Han confirmed and you watched for any signs of movement. All seemed clear and you allowed your shoulders to relax a bit, taking a deep breath. You switched positions with Major Yeom again, asking if everything seemed okay and he reported that it did.
“Team 1 has exited,” Sergeant Kim called.
“Copy that,” you finally spotted Team 2 not far behind, Major Choi and Major Yu walking stealthily towards the gate, the enemy guard having disappeared to switch rotations. You watched them exit and exhaled another breath of relief.
“I’m spotting movement on the North Exit,” Major Yeom called and you waited until Team 2 was safely outside and signalled their exit before joining Major Yeom across the room. You zoomed in with your binoculars and indeed, three guards seemed to have appeared out of nowhere. You frowned, “Where did they come from?”
“I spotted them around that building,” Major Yeom pointed, turning on his radio and you nodded. He called, “Team 3, please halt. Proceed to find shelter- movement spotted near the North Exit at your 10 o’clock.”
“Copy that,” Major CJ answered. Major Yeom alerted the Squad 6 members waiting for Team 3 at the North Exit and you dared to ask him something.
“How has your squad been holding up after Agent Oscar?”
Major Yeom slowly brought the binoculars down, glancing at you for a moment. “Uh… we’re holding up okay, for the most part. It’s not the first time this happened after all.”
You felt a sharp sting at his words but you knew what he meant. He was probably talking about the past members such as Major Lee and the others. “I know. Somehow… you get used to being okay. You just have to be.”
“Yeah…” Major Yeom switched his binoculars. “You… you saved Agent Bravo, right?”
“Agent Oscar too,” you pointed out, sparing him a glance. “Before the enemy fired and we lost Oscar. He wasn’t in the best state anyway- I think he lost his leg.”
“What do you mean?”
“What do you think they do to you when they capture you, Major?” You asked, not waiting for his response as you guided Team 3 to switch buildings. “Agent Oscar was unfortunate enough to be questioned by the enemy. They were getting answers out of him when we arrived- Major Choi and I.”
“I… I did not know that,” Major Yeom sighed.
“Team 3?” You called into the radio. “I think you have a tail.”
“Shall we split?” Major CJ asked.
“No, it’s better to stick together,” you answered, asking Major Yeom to guide Team 3 to the North Exit or steer them towards the West Exit while you went to the other corner of the room and took out the radio meant for you and the Sergeant only.
“Sergeant?”
“I’m here,” Sergeant Kim sounded grim already. “Team 3 has a tail?”
“You’re thinking what I’m thinking?” You asked, making sure to keep your voice low.
“I’m going to inspect everyone who’s back. I don’t care anymore,” Sergeant Kim began but you bit your lips in thought.
“Wait- not yet,” you told him. “It would make it too obvious. Let’s wait until we get back and we’ll see what we have to do.”
Sergeant Kim did not respond for a few seconds but then he gave you an okay and you went back to join Major Yeom. The Team was being guided to the North Exit now and you resorted to watching Major Yeom plan out a new route. You occasionally quipped in and it took another half an hour for Team 3 to make a safe exit at north and you finally sat down and drank water.
“Good job, Major,” you said and he passed a smile, nodding. “I’m wondering why they were being tailed. Nobody spotted them during the mission.”
“Maybe they watched and decided to confront them later,” Major Yeom shrugged and you agreed, though you highly doubted that. You both packed your gear and started to exit out of the building, going inside the basement and walking in silence along the path that connected to a building right outside the West Exit. Bumping fists with the Major after making it through, you walked to your car where Sergeant Kim awaited, looking-
“Very grumpy. You’re making it too obvious.”
“I can’t help it,” he said. “There is a rat in our base who knew we were going to be here today. Who knew exactly what our plan was.”
“Let’s talk about it when we get back,” you whispered, patting his arm and going to Major Choi who was waving at you, looking rather cheerful.
“What’s got you in a good mood today?”
“Ask her,” San pointed at Major Yu who was in a heated discussion with Major Kang. You stood next to San, listening to their discussion and smacking San’s thigh when he tried holding your hand.
“-so I asked my husband if he could really get me some tickets to the festival. And he’s such a sweetheart- it was tough but he managed to get exactly 7 tickets for the 7 of us!” Major Yu grinned. “So we’re scheduling our vacation next month and all going to Sector 6. I don’t care if you have to go see your families or friends- you all are coming with me to Sector 6 first before you go home.”
Major Kang got up and saluted her dramatically, making everyone laugh. You looked at San who already had a shit-eating grin on his face. You leaned closer, “I know what’s going on in your head right now. Cleanse your brain.”
“Not a chance,” he blew a kiss and you swatted it, making a face, Major Kang noticing and pretending to throw up. Sergeant Kim ordered everyone to get inside the car and you began your way back to the base. During the ride, you kept replaying the events of this mission in your head, wondering how the enemy knew exactly where Team 3 was. There had to be someone who told the enemy about the mission and you felt nauseous at the thought that it could be someone you knew.
You met up with Major CJ and Major Han when you got back to the base and found them just as confused as you. Sergeant Kim was wise enough to not let the confusion spread any further, calling them in his office for individual reports. Meanwhile, San and you casually moved to a corner and he asked you what was up.
“Our mission almost got compromised today, San,” you admitted and he frowned. “Team 3 got a tail right when they were about to exit- we had to reroute them. Someone knew Team 3’s exact location, our routes, our exit points. We’ve been compromised, San. And I’m wondering how long this has been going- if we really could have saved more people had we found out earlier.”
San pursed his lips in thought. “Does Sergeant Kim know?”
“Yeah, he caught on just as I did,” you nodded. “We need to do something about this before they retaliate, the enemy. Because if they’ve been gathering information so far… I think they’ll strike soon, and it’s making me so worried-”
“Shh, it’s okay,” San came forward and wrapped you in a hug, not caring if anyone saw. You didn’t care either, simply relaxing in his arms. “We’ll figure it out together, okay? I think today’s mission might have narrowed our suspect list- this mission was supposed to be known only to a selected few.”
“I hope so,” you drew back.
“Let’s go eat dinner before Sergeant Kim calls for us,” San suggested and you agreed, not really talking much and San let you sort your thoughts out while you ate. It was the Sergeant himself who found you both in the dining hall and the three of you decided to go to your room.
Sergeant Kim looked around a bit before settling on the couch beside San who had already made himself home on the other end. Sergeant Kim narrowed his eyes at him, “You look too comfortable here.”
“Ah, it must be your first time here, huh?” San scoffed. “Welcome to Mr. and Mrs. Choi’s residence-”
“What did you gather from Team 3’s report?” You interrupted, having brought the documents Sergeant Kim had handed you a few days earlier and joining the two, dragging a chair to sit across them.
“Nothing much,” the Sergeant replied and you noticed San sulking at the way the two of you had ignored him completely. You shrugged at him as if to say ‘did you expect anything else?’. “They are pretty sure no one spotted them during the mission. Did you see anything suspicious while you kept watch?”
“Nothing until Team 3’s exit,” you told him. “The guards started moving towards where they were all of a sudden as if they knew. Major Yeom guided the team out for the most part.”
“Okay, so here’s the thing,” Sergeant Kim started spreading the pages on the table while he continued. “I don’t think there’s a pattern yet, but I think it’s safe to say that if there’s a rat and they’ve been watching our movements, they’re done simply watching. They’re retaliating. And we know that because in the past 4 months, our success rate has significantly dropped- and I’m not talking about the book definition of success.”
“You’re talking about the agents we’ve lost,” San said.
“That’s right,” the Sergeant nodded. “What do you think?”
You took a deep breath. “With both these missions, we were compromised on one of the routes known only within the base, right? With Squad 7 guiding us back at the base, and the rest of us in the field. Can we narrow it down somehow?”
“I have a feeling today didn’t go like they expected,” Sergeant Kim admitted. “If they tailed Team 3, they must have tried to accomplish something, right? What did they get accomplished though? Nothing. I think today is the first time they failed. In which case…”
“In which case they might retaliate,” you completed and he nodded, grim. “What changed today?”
“We can omit Squad 5 from the list of suspects, I think,” he answered. “That leaves us with our squad and Squad 6. I don’t think we should suspect Squad 7- if there’s a rat in there, they would find out themselves. It’s not like they were guiding us today either.”
“I really don’t think it’s someone from our squad,” San quipped in and you agreed.
“Squad 6, huh?” Sergeant Kim looked at the pages spread across the table- information of the current and former members of the squad. He picked Major Yeom’s page to get a closer look. “Did he know you were joining him today? At the station?”
“It was a last minute thing for me too, no one did,” you told him. “Do you think Major Yeom could be the rat?”
“Even if he is… who is he reporting to? Is it someone in the base or someone outside?” Sergeant Kim sighed. “And can we really suspect Major Yeom? What about the others? One of them made a pretty stupid mistake in our previous mission, if I recall.”
“Plus, Major Yeom is the one who eventually guided Team 3 safely outside,” you glanced at San. “You’re friends with a few from Squad 6, right? Anyone exhibiting strange behaviour after our previous mission?”
“Not really, no,” San shook his head, leaning forward. “I don’t think us sitting and drawing conclusions like this will yield any results. We need to conduct a proper investigation into this before something worse happens. We should alert the Lieutenant.”
“I would have alerted him already had I secured some solid evidence. There’s no pattern yet and we’re trusting our guts. As much as I trust my gut and you both, I can’t simply go with that to the Lieutenant,” Sergeant Kim sighed loudly before slumping back and you made a face.
“We have to follow protocol, huh?” San sighed too.
“The protocol sucks,” you groaned. “I’ll conduct my own investigation. Major Yeom did not know what state Agent Oscar had been in when we retrieved him- before we lost him. Why was he not aware? Do the rest know?”
“My job was to convey information to Sergeant Park,” Sergeant Kim raised a brow as he thought. “I don’t think he did that on purpose though.
“Ah. I forgot Sergeant Park is literally your best friend-”
“No, that’s not it,” Sergeant Kim laughed. “He must have told them that Oscar was held hostage and questioned before you retrieved him. Maybe he didn’t go into the details.”
“Maybe Major Yeom lied,” San pouted. “I trust Sergeant Park for some reason.”
“You trust everyone,” you retorted and San sulked further, sinking down into the couch. “Come on, Sergeant, we need to make a decision.”
“Let’s start with Squad 6- I’ll talk with Sergeant Park,” he decided. “He must be suspicious too with how things have been recently. But you two… try not to make it too obvious, okay?”
You and San burst into a chorus of ‘as if’ and ‘you’re the most obvious one’ and Sergeant Kim decided to see himself out. You started gathering the documents, glancing once more at Major Yeom’s file. San gave your shoulder a comforting squeeze and you decided to trust your captain, relaxing into San’s touch.
—-------------------------
The sound of the alarm ringing loudly enough to wake the dead up had to be the most horrible sound you had ever heard in your life.
It had only played once before and it was a memory you wished you would forget- even now, for a few moments, you remained in your bed blinking and wondering if you were dreaming. It wasn’t until you heard the radio announcement that you got up abruptly and moved to grab your bulletproof vest and jacket, grabbing every weapon you had in your room, because-
The base was under attack.
It had only been a mere two days since your last mission, since Sergeant Kim and Park started investigating their squad members in secret. You wondered if it was somehow linked to their investigation- it had to be. As soon as you were prepared, you went outside, greeted by the rush of soldiers donning their jackets or loading their weapons. Amidst all the chaos, you spotted San and rushed towards him, holding his hand and squeezing it.
“Oh, you’re here,” he gave you a brief hug. “You’re thinking what I’m thinking?”
“Yeah, we need to find Sergeant Kim or Sergeant Park,” you said and he nodded, looking around once and dragging you into a corner.
“Listen- I just asked and it’s not looking good. The enemy chose a direct attack this time and the Left Wing is compromised already. How’s your leg?”
“It’s good, San, don’t worry,” you assured him, and it was the truth. “There was a reason I joined the previous mission. You don’t need to worry about me.”
“I can’t help it,” he smiled, kissing your forehead. “Let’s go then. We have no time to waste.”
You nodded and the two of you started asking around for Sergeant Kim, knowing he wouldn’t be in his office but out fighting. Major Han spotted you both and dragged you to the weapons room-
“I’ve been charged with making sure you gear up like proper soldiers, and for exactly this reason,” she shook her head at the lack of helmet and equipment. “Sergeant Kim has put me in charge of leading our squad in his absence, so turn on your radios and follow me. The rest are waiting with him.”
You and San stifled your scoffs and wore the helmets, Major Han slapping you both on the neck and checking your gear, inquiring about your leg. She sighed, “We’ve already reported three casualties on the Left Wing. We will be in charge of driving them out, understood? Follow me.”
Your blood boiled at the number and you gripped your sniper as you made way to the Right Wing- the exit that your squad frequently used. As you reached closer, the sound of gunshots and soldiers shouting got louder. You spotted your members and Squad 6 ready and waiting, the Sergeants in a corner talking in hushed voices. As soon as Sergeant Kim spotted you both, he signalled and you both joined him.
“We’re waiting for orders from the Lieutenant before we go to help at the Left Wing- but I’m going to task you both for another mission. Sergeant Park?”
Sergeant Park nodded. “Major Yeom is missing. We have high suspicions to believe that he is the one who has been updating the enemy. He must have left earlier to either join them or hide. I need you both to find him and bring him back alive, is that understood?”
“Yes, Sergeant!” you both nodded.
“I’m not entrusting my squad because of obvious reasons and sympathy factor, but Sergeant Kim here says you both are perfect for the job. Prove it.”
“And please stay safe, both of you,” Sergeant Kim huffed. “Don’t give me another heart attack. My lifespan has already decreased a good amount thanks to the two of you.”
San stifled a grin and you asked, “Do you have any suspects for who exactly Major Yeom might be providing information too? Or did you ever find out information on the man with the tattoo?” You recalled the man you had encountered while saving Agent Oscar.
“We believe it might be a group within the enemy, one specified to be spies,” Sergeant Kim said. “We haven’t seen it before, so we can’t say much. It’s only speculation.”
“Understood. We’ll take our leave then,” you said and the Sergeants nodded, making sure you had enough weapons before instructing you to find Squad 4 in the control room and start from there. You stayed on your toes the entire time, scanning everyone who crossed your path, looking for signs of anything suspicious because if Major Yeom had defected…
There could very well be others.
You reached the control room and the Sergeant let you in, already having heard from Sergeant Kim and Park. He guided you both to the CCTVs and you got a good look at what was going on- the soldiers were still fighting against the enemy at the Left Wing and the enemy was trying to push its way inside or circle around to the Right Wing. It looked ugly. San went to monitor what was happening inside and for a while you both stood observing the base until San spotted a few of the enemy soldiers squeezing their way inside. The Sergeant immediately alerted Squad 5 to take care of it and you both decided to check the unmonitored rooms for Major Yeom.
“Shall we check the basement first? Or keep it for the end?” You asked.
“The basement can be accessed from outside too, right?” San asked, pausing to think. “Shall we look at the dorms first? Divide and conquer?”
“Sure,” you nodded, getting anxious. You were short on time- you needed to join your squad back at the Right Wing too. “Check the dorms first, meet outside. And then the offices, the weapon rooms, and let’s go to the basement together after?”
“Sure. you take the offices, I’ll take the weapon rooms,” San said and you both agreed, splitting immediately after connecting your radios.
About an hour passed by as you checked each level, meeting by the staircase with a confirmation of ‘all clear’. You found nothing and San informed Sergeant Kim about going to check the basement. Sergeant Kim told him to make it quick and meet him at the Right Wing.
As the two of you descended into the eerie silence of the basement, a part of you wondered if this search was just a waste of time- why would Major Yeom be in the basement? He could have exited amidst this chaos at any time- or done whatever he needed to. The basement only contained storage rooms with the archives and some exit routes- but exit routes were more easily accessible on the ground level, so why would the enemy be there?
“You take the right side, I’ll take the left,” San said when you reached down. You nodded and patted his arm before parting ways, aiming your gun as you started checking the rooms- empty, empty, yet another empty room-
And then the sound of footsteps that did not belong to San.
You hid behind a shelf, trying to calculate the distance- it seemed like the person was going further away from you. You dared to take a peak and frowned at the sight of someone in the same uniform as yours, walking at high alert with their gun aimed and ready-
It was Squad 6’s badge. It had to be Major Yeom.
You started following him silently, not even daring to breathe any louder than necessary, and when the Major went inside one of the rooms, you quickened your pace and took a look inside that room-
He was alone and it looked like he was looking for something. He was searching through the files- for what?
You took a deep breath and entered the room with your gun pointed at the Major. “Hands up, drop your weapons, now.”
The Major froze, glancing at you once, not daring to turn. “Major Seo. I can explain-”
“Drop your weapons, now,” you seethed, stepping closer as he dropped his gun to the ground, the metal meeting the floor with a clang. You buried the muzzle of your gun in his back before ordering him to exit the room. The Major knew better than to disobey you and took slow and steady footsteps as per your instructions until you had him pinned to the wall so you could signal San.
“Charlie, I’ve got the mole,” you said into the radio, waiting for a response but when 10 seconds passed and you got none, you grabbed the Major’s collar and started steering him to the direction San had gone into earlier.
“Charlie? I need a response,” you called, panic starting to bubble in your heart. “Charlie, this is Echo, can you hear me?”
You wondered if his silence was because he found something or was in a situation where he needed to be silent- you simply prayed it was only that. However, having scoured the basement and finding no signs of San, you slammed the Major against the wall and dug your gun in his back. “Who was with you here?”
“No one-”
“Choose your answer carefully, I will not hesitate to shoot you down,” you warned and the Major scoffed.
“I bet Sergeant Park wants me back alive.”
“He never said anything about you being unharmed, though,” you started dragging your gun down his thigh and Major Yeom groaned.
“Fine, there is someone. You should check the exit.”
“Take the lead,” you gave him space to walk, still holding him by his collar as he led you to the room at the other end of the basement- a storage room with one of its bookshelves now pushed away from the wall, behind which a door was slightly ajar.
“What were you trying to find in the archives?” You asked, nudging him to go ahead inside the passage.
“I don’t know-”
“Like hell you don’t,” you entered the path, the smell of damp mud hitting you right away and you turned on the light on your helmet.
“I was only instructed to retrieve a specific document, which wasn’t even present there,” Major Yeom clicked his tongue in disappointment. “Look, I’ve got nothing against you- I know you’re following orders. But you really shouldn’t go to the end of this path.”
You didn’t stop walking. “I need to find Major Choi.”
“If he’s got Major Choi, you can forget about him-”
That was your last straw- you slammed the Major into the wall and dug your arm into his neck, your hand almost shaking as you pointed the gun at his temple. “Who?”
Major Yeom tried retaliating but you were quicker and you kicked his ankle harshly, effectively making him drop to his knees as you pointed your gun at his head. “I’ve had enough- your colleagues are dying out there fighting the enemy, Major Yeom. Just what have you gotten yourself into?”
“Are you sure they’re the enemy? Eden? We haven’t been saints either,” he scoffed, spitting on the ground. “You talk about principles and morals but where were your morals when you abandoned your colleagues when some mission went wrong, huh?”
Your heart sank. “If this is about Oscar, I did not abandon him-”
“Not him,” he shook his head. “The others. You and Major Choi… you go back for each other, disobeying every protocol and you get an applause. Why did no one go back for Major Lee?”
You frowned. “I’m pretty sure Sergeant Park eventually went back for him. As for Major Choi and I… you don’t know anything.”
“Sergeant Park never went back for him- or if he did, he didn’t try hard enough. Do you have any idea what they did to Major Lee?”
“Major Lee is dead,” you almost cried. “Forget about the past- why are you doing this now, huh? Who’s ordering you?”
“He’s not dead-”
“Stand back and drop your weapons, now.”
You froze- how did you not hear someone coming when even your hushed voices were echoing? Was the person already present and listening to your conversation? With the feeling of dread clouding your mind, you took a step back from Major Yeom and glanced up-
To see a masked man holding San at gunpoint.
And fortunately enough, Major Yeom took your stepping back as a sign to stand up and you did the first thing you thought sensible- mirror that masked man and hold Major Yeom at gunpoint. Major Yeom groaned as the muzzle of your gun buried painfully in his temple but you ignored it and glared at the man, trying not to meet eyes with San.
“So you’re the one who’s been ordering Major Yeom around, huh?” You asked. “Let go of Major Choi and I’ll let go of your man.”
The man’s deep laugh echoed through the passage. “Not that simple. You will obey every order I give you or else your Major Choi won’t live to see the sunrise.”
Something shattered in you at that moment as you recalled San’s words- “I wish to see the rest of my sunrises with you”. You finally dared to look at San, now rid of his helmet with a few bruises across his face. He shook his head subtly as if to say ‘do what you’re being told’ but you remained frozen in your spot.
“Take off your helmet. Let me see who you are,” the man ordered. You kept ahold of Major Yeom and removed your helmet, your jaw clenched painfully. You aimed the gun back at the Major and the man shook his head.
“Drop your weapon and step away from him, Major Seo.”
Once again, you were surprised- just who was he? He must have seen the confusion on your face and he finally removed his mask-
It was Major Lee.
“Why?” was all you could ask. Major Lee only shook his head.
“You will not understand how it is like to be abandoned by your own people. And for what? For nothing,” he tsk-ed. “Do you remember that mission, Major? Do you remember how we marched into the enemy territory because we were going to retrieve stolen data? There was no stolen data,-”
“Major Lee, please listen to me,” you pleaded. “We’re soldiers. We obey orders. It is not our duty to question it- we’re only given orders. We don’t even know what we retrieve, you may be right, but… if you have a problem with it, you should take it to the Headquarters or I don’t know… the General, the higher-ups, anyone but us. So please let go of Major Choi, at least. Your fight is not with us.”
“You will let go of Major Yeom and step back,” his voice was cold and you shut your eyes in defeat. “And then I will decide what to do with Major Choi.”
“Major Lee-”
“Now!” He hit San with the grip of his gun on his forehead, instantly making you drop your gun with an ‘okay, okay!’ and you took a few steps back until Major Lee grunted in approval. “Kneel and face backwards.”
“Please let go of Major Choi-”
“Don’t make me do something you will regret,” he warned. “I will let go of him, but not right now. Kneel and face backwards- and you will count 100 seconds before you take one step. If I hear you, he dies, understood?”
You nodded through tears, looking at San once who only passed you a reassuring smile. You did as you were told and counted 1, hearing the footsteps fade and by the time you counted to 100, you had stopped sobbing and instead, anger- hot, boiling hot anger clouded all sense of rationality. You stood up and grabbed your gun and began running towards where they had taken Major Choi, praying he was okay all the while. But you reached the end of the passage which exited near the Right Wing and found no signs of Major Yeom and Major Lee.
No signs of Choi San.
You took a deep breath, surveying the area- you could hear the sounds of a fight to your left so you reckoned Major Lee must have avoided that and gone in the opposite direction. You started marching to your right, taking out the radio that connected you to Sergeant Kim.
“Alpha, this is Echo, please respond. Alpha?”
You continued treading along the building for a few seconds which was when your radio sounded. “Alpha responding.”
“The mole and the rat have escaped with Charlie. I am going to retrieve Charlie. Awaiting no further orders.”
“Echo, halt where you are. I will join you-”
“I do not have the time, Sergeant,” you seethed into the radio, ditching all formalities. “They took him, okay? Major Lee took him and he feels betrayed by all of us. I don’t know what he will do to him, I need to save him.”
There was a few seconds of silence and you spotted movement towards the gate- two or three figures. It had to be them. You started running towards them, hearing the sound of a jeep in the distance and you ran faster, trying to make it in time but you would never make it- you took off the sniper from your shoulder and started shooting towards the men getting in the car but it was no use- you were too far away. The jeep took off, leaving you all alone in the middle of the abandoned post and you fell to your knees, trying to control your unsteady breathing and shake off the ringing in your ears realising later that Sergeant Kim was repeatedly calling your name into the radio.
“They got away,” you breathed, unable to control your sobs this time. “They’ve taken him.”
“Where are you?”
“The abandoned post,” you looked around. “I need to go-”
“Stay where you are,” he ordered. “I’m coming to get you. The fight is almost over anyway.”
You buried your head in your arms as you knelt on the ground, your mind already hyperfunctioning as it planned all possible routes they could have taken, all possible spots they could be going to. All you knew was you would have to go to Eden all alone and retrieve him at all costs. But you couldn’t help the fear and the dread, because something like this had never happened- not to him, at least. You had been taken by force once and San had disobeyed all orders and marched into the enemy territory to retrieve you-
And you would do the same for him.
You did not realise how long you spent kneeling and planning through the utter pain of processing just what happened and the fear for San’s life when you heard a number of footsteps and you finally looked up to see not only Sergeant Kim but Major CJ and Major Yu.
“Oh, dear,” Major Yu shook her head at your state and knelt down, enveloping you in a hug. “It’s going to be okay. We will go back for him, okay?”
You nodded, breaking away and looking at Sergeant Kim who looked like he could pass out right there. “It’s Major Lee- I spotted his tattoo too, on the wrist. He’s the one who’s been sabotaging our missions, and I don’t know what he’s planning to do now. He said something about how our missions are baseless or something, I don’t know,” you sighed. “He has a problem with how things are being run. And now he’s taking it out on us.”
“I have a problem with how things are run here too,” Sergeant Kim sounded pissed. “But that does not mean I betray my people and side with the enemy for some petty revenge- even if something happens. We will go back for Major Choi, okay? But first you need to come back and plan-”
“I have no time to waste,” you shook your head fiercely. “You can join me later or not at all, for all I care, but I am leaving right now. I just need more weapons and I’m good-”
“Major Seo-”
“I cannot let anything happen to him!” You almost shouted, looking at Major Yu or Major CJ for help- surely they understood. “I finally, finally learned to live with myself and learned to function like a normal human being, I…” you breathed. “You know me, Sergeant. You know that I cannot live without him- I- “ you laughed at the irony of the situation. “I swore to never be like my mother but here I am.”
Major CJ turned as if to process what was happening and realisation dawned on Major Yu’s face. Sergeant Kim knelt down next to you. “You’re the strongest person I know here, Major. But please, think with your head for once. Come back with me, gear up properly, plan this and then leave-”
“You can do all of that and join me later,” you gave the final verdict. “I am leaving right now- keep me updated on the radio. And give me all of your bullets and weapons, dammit.”
Major CJ sighed. “Let me come with you. You don’t have to do this alone.”
Sergeant Kim groaned. “You think I don’t want to save him? I have to follow protocol- I cannot allow two of you to disappear-”
“It doesn’t matter anymore- someone needs to keep her grounded, and I can do that,” Major CJ offered you a hand and you smiled, taking it. “You can both give us your weapons and go back to the base, prepare and follow us right after. It shouldn’t be a problem anymore.”
Sergeant Kim considered for a few seconds before finally giving in, taking out his guns and daggers and Major Yu did the same. You both docked yourselves up and made sure everything was working.
“This is the last time I’m allowing this,” Sergeant Kim warned and you rolled your eyes. “Bring that brat back. And both of you… don’t get hurt. That is an order- come back alive.”
“Yes, Sergeant!” You both saluted and he told you both to hurry on, calling in the radio to order a car for you two. You looked ahead at the horizon, the sky already starting to lighten.
You prayed you would watch the sunrise once again and got in the car.
—---------------------------
Major CJ was proving to be quite the strategist. He was keeping the mood light, probably because you appeared tense enough to make up for him too, and you had to stop and appreciate him at one point, which he just shyly dismissed.
“I really don’t think a defected soldier will have much influence around there, so if they allowed Major Lee in the enemy base in Sector 1… that’s the only place he might go if he’s still working with them. Even if he’s not, Sector 1 is a pretty good place to start-”
“Stop calling him ‘Major’,” you growled. “Call him the motherfu-”
“-until we get some visual or locate Major Choi by some miracle,” Major CJ finished saying. “And stop being angry- it’s only going to cloud your decisions.”
“Oh no, not me,” you scoffed. “Anger fuels me and keeps me alive.”
“Whatever helps you,” Major CJ passed you a weird look.
You were both in Sector 1 now, going through the connected passages just like you had on your previous mission here. You could spot the enemy base now and you prayed Major CJ’s instinct was correct- San had to be there.
“Do you think we should negotiate with Major Lee or just… go berserk?” Major CJ asked and when the radio responded before you, you realised he had asked the Sergeant too.
“Let Major Seo do whatever she wishes,” the Sergeant sighed loudly. “I’ll leave my post once she’s back. She should be the Sergeant since she can make all her decisions herself now-”
“Oh, please, I would not have waited for you back there if that was the case,” you muttered. “Don’t fuel me any further right now, Captain.”
“Whatever. Try to negotiate first and see if you can get him to come back.”
“Permission to shoot otherwise? If things don’t look bright?”
“In case he tries to harm any of you, permission to shoot is granted,” Sergeant Park’s voice sounded. “For Major Yeom too. He is a defected soldier- his case must be handled differently from Major Lee because we thought him dead.”
“Copy that,” Major CJ responded. “Stepping within a 2 mile radius into the enemy base… now.”
You took the lead, Major CJ providing cover and you couldn’t help but be reminded of San. Gritting your teeth and steeling your nerves, you loaded your guns and went into stealth mode-
And all hell went loose.
Major CJ was strong in every sense- he naturally took the lead as you eliminated guard after guard, forcing your way inside through a back door. And unsurprisingly, Major CJ was depending on his fists more in close combat and you would finish it off with bullets. You wondered if you two were syncing better because you were both fueled with the same purpose- to retrieve Major Choi.
“To the basement,” you motioned towards the stairs. “They keep the hostages there unless they’re being questioned.”
“They should have changed locations by now,” Major CJ flexed his arms, having suffocated one of the soldiers. “If Major Lee is in there… he’s pretty fucking stupid.”
You grinned, covering for him as you both went downstairs, this time shelling the guards first before gunning them down. You told Major CJ to hold his own while you checked the rooms, finding one empty room after another-
Nothing. He wasn’t in the basement.
With pure adrenaline fuelling you now, you lead Major CJ upstairs to the same level you had found Agent Oscar on, shooting in succession at anyone who dared to cross your path, not caring if you hit a vital spot anymore- they had done enough damage tonight too. You hurried along the corridor towards the rooms at the end and spotted San tied to a chair, his head hanging down. You almost stepped inside the room but paused-
There had to be someone else in the room.
You glanced at Major CJ and nodded before pushing the door open with your foot and as soon as you spotted movement against the wall, you pointed your gun in that direction and shot at the lower region, successfully hitting Major Yeom in the thigh who shot reflexively at you in return but he was slower- you kicked his gun away and held him at gunpoint once again.
“That was quick,” he seethed through the pain.
“You took my partner, of course I was quick,” you hit his head with the grip of your gun, making him groan louder. “Where’s that bastard?”
“He knew you would come here,” Major Yeom spat. “He’s got plans for you-”
“Oh no, he hasn’t,” you grinned. “Major Lee got some abandonment issues, huh? He must have thought no one would come back for Major Choi. But did he ever think our squads would retaliate against his actions? Your colleagues will be joining soon, Major.”
Major Yeom paled. “They wouldn’t have allowed you to-”
“That’s the thing- Major Lee made it pretty clear what he was expecting, and all we had to do was the opposite. Sergeant Park is not pleased at two of his members defecting. You do know how he gets when he’s angry, right? He’s on his way here right now, so I’ll let him take care of you.”
Major CJ joined and told you that the rest of the members were already here. You allowed yourself to relax while he took care of Major Yeom and you walked to San, untying the ropes on his wrists and kissing his knuckles.
“Major Choi. Can you hear me?”
He did not respond. You figured he must have been drugged to unconsciousness. You held his face, tucking his hair back and examining the bruises there and then the rest of his body- at least he was unharmed. You bent down and with the help of Major CJ, you propped his body on your back, deciding to carry him out while Major CJ provided cover. A sense of relief started to wash over you as you made your way out, your members and Squad 6’s members passing smiles because as Sergeant Kim said when he joined you on this mission, some protocols really needed to change. It was high time and considering how Major Lee felt about his situation and Major Yeom joined him, they must have felt abandoned- perhaps for the right reasons. You had often felt that too, though you were lucky enough to have San as your partner who always had your back and broke protocols and disobeyed orders again and again for you. And the thought scared you- that if not for him, you might have turned into Major Lee too.
You exited the base and hopped into the car waiting for you, Major CJ helping you lay him down across the seat and you checked San’s pulse and monitored his breathing- he was okay.
Major CJ said he was going to help the rest and left you and San alone in the car. The adrenaline started to wear off and with trembling hands, you examined the rest of his body for any signs of injuries, finding none and relaxing once again, resting your head on his chest and listening to his heartbeat while you waited for him to wake up. You shut your eyes, not sure if the sound in your ears was the sound of San’s heart or your own.
You didn’t realise how tired you were until you felt a hand caress your head, tucking your hair behind your ears. You found yourself unable to open your eyes, a stream of fresh tears falling down on San’s jacket. His warm fingers wiped the tears away, caressing your cheek softly.
“Won’t you look at me?”
You only buried your face in his chest, silently crying. San let you be for a few moments before he couldn’t take it anymore and nudged you to face him, seating himself up. You finally opened your eyes and let out a relieved laugh. San smiled in response, wiping your face with his sleeve.
“You have no idea how much it hurts me to see you cry.”
“I’m crying because of you,” you said, sniffing. “Do you have any idea how scared I was?”
“I’m sorry,” he kissed your forehead, lingering. “I’m so sorry-”
“No, it’s not your fault,” you told him, cupping his face. “I’m just so glad that you’re okay, so glad,” you said, pecking his lips. “I was so scared-”
San captured your mouth in a kiss as a form of an apology and you took it, letting his hand guide you as he deepened the kiss. You fisted his shirt in one hand, the other finding his and intertwining with it. San broke away, your breaths lingering and you reached in to hug him, burying your face in the crook of his neck- your favourite spot. San caressed your back, holding you as close as he could.
“You came back for me, huh?” San shook his head at the insanity of it. “Do you realise just what you did? Did you march here alone?”
“I almost did, but CJ joined and then the rest did- even Squad 6,” you told him, breaking away so you could look at him. “Captain wouldn’t let me go alone.”
“He’s always like this,” San laughed. “But you- you shouldn’t have been so reckless-”
“Says who? At least I had the others join later. You marched into enemy base alone to get me back 3 years ago-”
“That was different-”
“Yes, but that was more reckless,” you slapped his arm. “And anyways, I would have done this for you. You know I would have come for you. It’s a miracle I found you this quick.”
San caressed your face. “Even if we were not… like this?”
“We’ve always been in love, though,” you said and San caught your confession in it. “And I have realised now… love is supposed to be a strength, not a weakness.”
San glanced outside, the sky glowing a beautiful pastel now and spotted the Sergeants collecting their members and arresting Major Lee and Major Yeom. When you counted the rest of your members, all safe and sound, you relaxed into San’s arms. The enemy was stupid to attack your base- of course you would have retaliated. San kissed your forehead. “We lived to see the sunrise yet again.”
“I wish to see the rest of my sunrises with you too,” you said and San smiled. You sealed that promise with a kiss.
To a better future.
#san x reader#choi san x reader#san angst#san smut#san fluff#choi san angst#choi san smut#choi san fluff#choi san#ateez x reader#ateez scenarios#ateez imagines#ateez angst#ateez smut#ateez headcanons#choi san imagines#choi san scenarios#ateez au
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let me, angel hurt to comfort with fluffy ending?
Let Me Help You, Angel
Pairing: Frat!Rafe Cameron x Reader
Warnings: Fall Down The Stairs, Blood, Swearing and Stitches.
Pronouns: She/Her
Word Count: 0.6K
A/N: I didn't know what type of hurt you meant so I went with physical hurt.
Masterlist
Y/N is the safe one out of the two. While Rafe is the reckless frat boyfriend, Y/N is the cautious science girlfriend. But even with all her carefulness, her clumsiness can cause her the same amount of pain as Rafe’s rashness. She has been waiting in Rafe’s room while he is in class and his filled hamper catches her eye. They may have been dating for five months, but she still likes to help him with his chores to impress him. She picks up the heavy bag and lugs it out of his room. The frat house’s stairs have always caused her a little discomfort. They are old and rickety, always scaring her when she goes up them alone. His hamper is heavy for her and she worries about going down the stairs with it. She could ask one of Rafe’s brothers to help her, yet she wants to do this by herself. It was a mistake.
As she tries to take the next step, she catches the edge of it. She jerks forward and the hamper behind her comes down with her. The weight of Rafe’s clothes pushes her down the stairs. She falls to the bottom of the steps with a loud thwack of her head against the banister. The brothers in the house all run toward the source of the sound and panic once they see Y/N crying at the bottom of the stairs. Her hand is covered in blood as she tries to stop the bleeding from her head. “Shit, Y/N. Are you okay?” Kelce worries, approaching the girl to try to help her. She flinches away from his touch. “No, don’t touch me. It hurts,” she sobs. Dylan steps forward also offering her aid. She again moves away from the touch, “No! I want Rafe.” At her words, Jaiden pulls out his phone and dials the frat’s president’s number.
He had already been on his way home when he got the call, but the news that his angel was hurt and in need of him caused him to speed home. He runs into the house to see a group of people surrounding Y/N. “Move out of the way,” he instructs the crowd. He rushes over to her and sees the blood. “Holy shit, Angel. That is a lot of blood. Come on, we have to get you to the hospital,” he orders, picking her up and jogging to his car. She nuzzles her head in his neck, “It hurts so much, Rafe.” “I know. Let me help you, Angel. I’m going to get you to the hospital. They are going to make you feel all better,” he assures. She doesn’t say anything as he drives away from the fraternity house.
—
Y/N’s hand grips Rafe’s as the doctor sews the stitches into her head. It kills Rafe to listen to the soft whimpers she lets out as the needle pierces her skin. Once the doctor is done, she rests her head against Rafe’s chest. “Thank you for getting home so quickly and letting me hold your hand,” she whispers, kissing his chest. He looks down at her with a smile, “Of course, I will always be here to comfort you, Angel. I love you.” “I love you too, Rafe. I’m actually a little embarrassed with how I handled things. I was such a crybaby about it.” He shakes his head against hers. “No, you weren’t. You were in pain and you reacted appropriately. If anyone else dares to say otherwise, I’ll have a talking with them,” he jokes. This tugs a giggle out of her and they start heading over to the desk to get her discharged.
Taglist: @winterrrnight @loves0phelia @thelomlisrafecameron @wickedlovely121 @queen-shadow22 @victory-in-the-llama
#let me angel#rafe cameron#rafe cameron x reader#rafe cameron x you#rafe cameron imagine#rafe cameron series#obx fanfiction#obx fic#rafe obx#rafe cameron fanfiction#rafe#rafe fic#rafe imagine#rafe x reader#rafe outer banks#rafe fanfiction#outerbanks#outer banks x reader#outer banks rafe#outer banks fanfiction#outer banks#outer banks imagine#outer banks fic#obx#obx fanfic#obx imagine#obx x reader#obx x you#obx x y/n
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breakup with your boyfriend, I'm bored | Steph Catley x Arsenal!Reader (18+)
Summary: You and Steph, despite your past situationship ending, still have a tension-filled relationship and it eventually amounts to something during a night out with the team
Warnings: cheating, bottom steph, top reader, strap use (steph receiving), some angst, fingering (r receiving), thigh riding (steph), r calling steph ‘baby’ ‘babe’ and ‘good girl’
WC: 4.7k
AN 1: cheating bad but 🧎
AN 2: this became my longest fic ever without me planning it to be 😭 I think it might be in my top 2 fics I’ve written tho 🥴
You sighed as you got out of your car, the tough preparation for the match against Manchester City starting to affect you. You stretched your arms as you stood up fully, a small groan leaving your lips as your muscles stretched. While stitching and getting your training bag from the car, you missed when a familiar car pulled into the parking lot.
A familiar car you spent plenty of evenings fogging up the windows.
Your jaw locked when your eyes finally landed on Steph getting out of her car. You two haven't spoken in a few weeks since the defender ended your “relationship” and started dating someone else. Your relationship with Steph was complicated, there were feelings from the both of you mixed with the excitement of sleeping together. It all became too much for Steph when some of your teammates almost caught you two during an away game.
Without talking about it, Steph ended your friends-with-benefits relationship and moved on quickly in hopes of getting over you. The defender refused to talk to you unless it was during training or a game and she had no other choice.
You stopped in your place as you watched her get her things, hoping she’d at least make eye contact with you. You leaned against your car door slightly just as Steph turned in your direction, freezing in her place. You two looked eyes for a moment before she quickly rushed inside, leaving you alone once again.
You couldn’t help but feel jealous over her new relationship, you thought there was something between you two and you hated how easy it was for her to find someone new. With a small huff, you pushed off your car and headed inside, already dreading being close to Steph and not being able to do anything.
Normal pre-training things took place and went by quickly and soon you found yourself on the training pitch with a drizzle hitting your skin. You listened as Jonas and the other trainers explained the drills for the day, your eyes drifting toward Steph every so often. She caught your eye after a minute before you could look away and the look in her eye made you weak in the knees. You might have been upset she wouldn’t talk to you but she still had the same effect over you.
You looked away first, trying to refocus on Jonas’ instructions rather than the defender across from you. You subtlety rilled your eyes when Jonas mentioned a small scrimmage, knowing you would be placed on the opposing team Steph would be on. Being a forward meant you two often went head to head on the pitch and with tensions rising between you, you were sure it would translate in your play.
The training drills went by quickly as the rain became heavier. You tried your hardest to divert your eyes away from Steph’s soaking body knowing the thoughts that would pop into your head would distract you. Each time you looked away from her, the defender’s eyes were locked on you, though she was less subtly as her eyes scanned your body. She knew it was wrong to still feel this way for you when she was seeing someone else but she couldn’t help it.
You groaned softly when Jonas shouted the teams for the scrimmage and your suspicion was proven correct when you were handed a different bib than the one Steph received. After listening to the quick instructions from one of the trainers, you joined Stina on the halfway line waiting for the whistle to be blown. You threw a quick glance toward Steph as you wiped the rain from your face, the defender’s eyes already locked on you.
A small surge of cockiness filled your body as you planned how to get past her, the need to show off suddenly present. You took off the second you heard the whistle go, quick to find the open area waiting for the pass from your teammates. Just as Leah’s eyes landed on you, the blonde was passing you the ball allowing you to turn toward goal. Right as you turned, your legs were kicked from under you and landed on the soggy ground with a low groan.
Steph didn’t bother offering you a hand as she quickly got rid of the ball, passing up the field toward Alessia. You lay on the ground for a moment to collect yourself before standing. You pulled at the wet training shirt that clung to your torso which gave a nice shot of your toned stomach. Steph’s eyes trailed across your body as she watched you, her breathing picking up slightly as memories flashed in her mind.
The rest of the scrimmage was spent similarly. You were thrown to the ground every time you attempted to get past Steph. The very few times that you did manage to get past her, you sent a cocky smirk her way as you walked past her after scoring. You were thankful when Jonas finally called the scrimmage, the rain was steadily falling from the sky and no one wanted to be out there any longer than they needed to be.
Everyone quickly made their way to the locker room, the showers calling everyone’s names. You took your time, allowing some of your teammates to shower first as you waited. You were hoping that Steph would be one of the ones to go first but as she sat in her usual cubby, you were proven wrong.
“I think after this shit show of a training, we should go out for some drinks,” Katie’s accent sounded throughout the locker room.
A few cheers of agreement were her response but none from you. You weren’t sure if going out was something you needed when you had all these pent-up feelings. Hooking up with a stranger was not something you saw yourself doing. When you heard Steph agree when Beth asked her, you were quick to agree as well. Maybe this would be your chance to get the Aussie to speak to you off the pitch.
After a few minutes of waiting, showers were once again free and you quickly jumped up from your seat to claim one. You took your time in the shower knowing you were one of the last ones and there wouldn’t be anyone else waiting. You were too in your head to realize you weren’t alone during your shower.
With a towel wrapped around your body, you made your way back to the locker room to find it empty. You paid no attention to the other training bag on the other side of the room with a small ‘7’ etched into it. You hummed to yourself as you got clean clothes out of your bag and started getting dressed.
Just as you had your lower half covered, Steph rounded the corner with a towel wrapped around her body, seemingly under the same impression you were. She froze when she realized it was you and that you were completely topless. The defender’s eyes closed tightly as she swallowed softly, trying her best to forget what she had just seen. You rolled your eyes when you finally looked up from your things.
It’s not like she hasn’t seen you with less clothes on before. Steph did her best to navigate the room with her eyes closed until she knew you were no longer in her eyesight. Her breathing had picked up again as more memories flashed in her mind, memories she wasn't sure she’d ever forget. “You can look y’know. You’ve seen me in less, plenty of times,” you huffed as you finished getting dressed.
“That... was different,” Steph’s voice was raspier than normal, her thoughts too loud and too sensual to process anything else.
You quickly glanced behind you, your eyes landing on the defender’s bare back as she tied the sweatpants around her waist. As your eyes trailed down her back, your mind flashed back to all the small kisses you’d left on her skin. This time it was your breath that picked up as you quickly looked back to your bag to finish putting everything back in there.
Steph quickly threw on the hoodie she had with her, not realizing it was your hoodie that you had left at her place. When you both turned to leave, your eyes locked on the clothing she was wearing. Your cockiness returned as you smirked slightly while heading toward the door. “You always did look good in my clothes, babe,” you teased as you threw her a quick glance over your shoulder before you left her standing alone.
A tint of red dusted Steph’s cheeks as she looked down at the hoodie, noticing the logo of the university you attended. The defender tried her best to forget your words as she exited the locker room, though your voice echoed in her mind the entire walk to her car. You were long gone by the time she sat down in the driver's seat, sighing loudly at the confusion she felt.
You huffed softly as you sat down on the couch, your body screaming at you to rest. You had a few hours before some of the team would be heading out so you opted for a short time until you needed to get ready. You quickly set an alarm before you got comfortable on the couch, eyes falling shut instantly as sleep took over you.
You groaned an hour later when your alarm went off, pulling you from an exciting dream. Your moment with Steph in the locked room followed you into dreamland and your dreams were filled with the low moans of the defender as she begged for more. You took a deep breath before sitting up and stretching. You took as much time as you could picking out an outfit, doing your best to pick things out that you knew Steph loved seeing you in.
You quickly sent a text in the team group chat to say you were on your way and headed out the door. Thankfully the place Katie had picked out wasn’t too far from your place and you were there a few short minutes later. You quickly parked before heading inside, most of your teammates had gotten there a few minutes early but already had a table for everyone.
“You look hot, y/n/n,” Leah whistles as you take a seat opposite of her at the table. You playfully roll your eyes at her words before blowing her a teasing kiss. The defender dramatically acted out catching the kiss before winking at you.
Steph’s fist clenched at her side as she watched you with Leah, a small wave of jealousy hitting her. She shouldn’t feel this way anymore, not when it was her that ended things and was dating someone else. Her mind was drawn away from you as she chatted with Beth and Lia at the other end of the table though every so often her eyes would fall on you.
“We should go dance!,” Leah shouted to the table, though she earned a few no’s from the more introverted people.
The blonde cheered when you and Katie stood up, the Irish captain pulling Caitlin up with her despite the Australian’s protests. Steph followed you to the dance floor, her eyes scanning over your entire body as she took in your outfit for the first time that night. You’d worn different pieces that drove her crazy and it proved successful as her chest heaved slightly. Your teammates who stayed at the table laughed at the four of you before they returned to their previous conversations.
Steph was in the perfect position to make it seem like she was still involved in the conversation while her eyes stayed locked on you. The defender’s jaw clenched when Leah was pressed against your front as you two moved to the music. You had a very fun friendship with Leah but it would not go beyond playfully flirting with each other, which Steph knew. But seeing you pressed so close to each other as you grind against one another had her seeing red.
Steph offered her two cents here and there as she remained locked on you and Leah, her fists clenching under the table with each passing second. It became too much for her when you leaned in slightly in what looked like you kissing Leah’s neck.
Steph quickly stood from the table, practically scaring Lia as she jumped slightly. “I’ll be back,” the Aussie cleared her throat as she made her way to the bathroom, passing you as she did so.
Steph was grateful when she entered the bathroom to find it empty. She leaned against the sink for a moment before throwing some water on her face to cool her down. As she stood up again, a few paper towels were seen in her peripherals. She took them before dabbing her face, her eyes locking with yours when she could see again.
You wore a teasing smirk on your face as you leaned against the wall with your arms crossed. “You alright, babe,” you asked, your voice laced with a teasing tone.
Steph didn’t respond as she threw the paper towels away. Your eyes followed her sharply as you waited for her to say something. Steph sighed as she leaned back against the sink, her arms mirroring yours as they crossed in front of her chest. The silence in the room was tense as you could just barely hear the echo of the music playing.
You took a small step toward her as one of your hands landed on the sink behind her, her chest moving faster when you were this close to her. You slowly moved your other hand to rest on the counter as well, giving her enough time to push you away. When she didn’t, you had her pinned softly against the counter.
Her eyes locked on the stalls behind your shoulder as your eyes traced her features. You moved one of your hands to her chin, guiding her head up slightly and forcing her to look at you. Your eyes dropped to her lips, not trying to hide it as you licked your lips lightly. Your eyes flashed up to hers, you two have done this enough times before that she knew what you were asking.
With a small nod from the defender, your lips were on hers. You both moaned into the kiss, your lips fighting against each other’s. Steph’s arms uncrossed and moved to wrap around your neck, her hands locking behind you to keep you in your place. You moved your hands to her waist as you pulled her flush against you, your lips still battling for dominance.
Steph’s body rolled against yours softly, your lips moving against hers as you slipped your tongue into her mouth. Your lips stayed locked until you could hear voices getting closer to the door. You pulled away from Steph, both of you slightly out of breath as you leaned your forehead against hers. “Do you wanna go back to my place,” you whispered slightly against her lips before giving her a quick peck.
You could see her fighting with herself before she said yes, the cockiness you felt early making its reappearance. You smirked as you pulled away from her, your hands grabbing hers just as the bathroom door opened and two strangers walked in, completely ignoring the two of you.
You dropped Steph’s hand the closer you got to your table before explaining that Steph wasn’t feeling well so you offered to take her home since she rode with Beth and Viv. You quickly told everyone goodnight before you headed for the door, Steph’s hand back in yours when you were out of range of your teammates.
Excitement filled your body as you made your way to your car and opened the door for Steph. The defender gave you a quick peck as a thank you before you closed the door for her. The short drive back to your place was quiet, but this time it wasn’t filled with strong tension. Once you had parked, you were quick to open Steph’s door, offering her a hand as you helped her out of the car.
You wasted no time before you made your inside, quickly throwing your jacket and taking your shoes off. Steph followed you and as she was done, her back was pressed against your front door and your lips were on her neck. “Fuck,” she mumbled as her hand tangled in your hair as your lips left scattered kisses on her skin. You sucked hard on her skin, deep bruise-like marks soon to form.
You pulled away from her neck, eyes locking with hers before kissing her again. This kiss was deeper than the one in the bathroom, your lips pressing against hers harshly as you held her against you tightly. With your lips intertwined, you guided her to your bedroom, having done something similar multiple times before.
Her back was pressed against your soft mattress as you hovered over her, one of your hands holding her hip tightly. You pulled away from her slightly, the necklace you had worn dangling between the two of you. “Can you be a good girl and strip for me, hmm,” you mumbled as you pulled away from her completely.
You moved off the bed as she sat up slightly, her breath labored as she watched you move the bottom drawer on your dresser. She shook her head slightly before she started stripping, her clothes falling to your floor. When you stood from where you crouched down, Steph was completely bare as she lay on your bed, one of her legs propped up as her chest heaved.
Her eyes dropped the strap on in your hands as you made your way back to the bed, sitting the toy on the edge of the bed. Your eyes trailed over her naked form as you hurriedly removed your clothes, tossing them to join hers on your floor. Steph’s eyes dropped down your body as she let her eyes linger on your bare chest. You took your time harnessing the toy around your body, not wanting to rush anything between the two of you.
You stood at the end of the bed as your eyes raked over her body before leaning forward to plant a small kiss on her calf that was propping her leg up. You trailed small kisses up her thigh, crawling forward as you did so. Steph moaned when you blew softly on her dripping cunt, your name falling from her lips as her hands held your comforter tightly. You laughed softly to yourself at how worked up she was when you had hardly done anything.
You kneeled in over her, the strap on rubbing against her thigh softly. You pushed her propped-up leg down before pushing it open so her legs were stretched open for you. You moved slightly until you had the tip of the strap-on lined up with her soaked core before you pushed the toy into her.
Steph’s moans grew louder the more you pushed into her until you bottomed out. You moved one of her thighs to wrap around your waist as you kept the other pressed open against the bed. You rolled your hips softly, letting her get used to the size again. Steph’s head fell back against your pillows as your hips moved, her jaw slack as small moans escaped her lips.
“Faster, please,” Steph begged, her fists white as her grip on your cover never let up. Her back arched slightly as you sped up your movements.
Your hips snapped against her skin loudly as you fucked her, your tight grip on her body sending shock waves through her. Your name fell from her lips in a broken chant as you roughly thrust into her, lewd sounds echoing off your bedroom walls.
“D’you like that baby,” your voice was rough as you moved the hand that was holding her waist to press softly on her lower stomach.
“Fuck.. yes, yes!,” she managed to moan in between whines as you hit the familiar spot inside her.
Steph’s hips rolled in time with your thrusts, her back arching more off your bed as she grew closer to the edge. You could hear just how wet she was as you fucked her, the loud sounds of your strap fucking her mixed with her moans had your head spinning.
You sped up your movements even more, pushing her leg that was around your waist open to fuck her at a slightly different angle. Steph gasped a the new feeling as her eyes screwed shut, not far from letting go. “You gonna be a good girl and cum for me, baby,” you husked, your own orgasm close.
“Yes! I’m a good girl,” the defender whined as you moved one hand to rub her hardened clit. Steph didn’t last long after that as she let go making a mess all over your strap as she came. You didn’t slow down as you continued to fuck her, helping her ride out her high.
You slowed your movements when Steph whined at the overstimulation and you slowly pulled out of her. She whined at the loss of contact as you undid the harness around your body, tossing the toy to the floor. You let go of her leg, chuckling softly when it fell to bed immediately. You moved up her body to give her a deep kiss, one of your hands running up and down her body to help her calm down.
“You good, baby,” you mumbled in between small kisses.
Steph took a deep breath before nodding, still slightly out of breath. You smirked to yourself at her fucked out state before placing more kisses along her collarbones. After a minute, Steph had gotten control over her breathing and suddenly you were on your back, Steph straddling your thigh. You both moaned at the contact, the defender’s breath stuttering before she was good again.
“It’s your turn, y/n/n,” she mumbled as one of her fingers traced your hip bone.
Your breath faltered slightly as she traced closer to your wet core. After fucking her, it wouldn’t take much before you came as well. Two of Steph’s fingers ran through your slick folds, earning a low moan from you in the process. Without warning, her fingers were thrusting into you. You threw your head back in pleasure, your jaw falling as low moans fell from your mouth.
The sight of you in pleasure with her fingers pumping in and out of you was driving Steph crazy. As her fingers moved inside you, her hips rolled against your thigh, chasing another orgasm. Steph’s breathing was labored as she fuck you and herself, both of your moans mixed as you both chased that toe-curling feeling. Steph braced herself on your hip as she sped up her fingers, her hips following suit.
“I’m so close, baby. Be a good girl and make me cum, please,” you grunted, your back arching off the bed slightly. One of your hands moved to hold her waist as she listened to your words.
You flexed your thigh just as you let go, earning a loud moan from Steph as she came for the second time that night. Her fingers paused inside you as her eyes fell shut in pleasure. Both of your chests heaved as you came down from your high. Steph pulled her fingers from you, your eyes flying open at the loss of contact.
Your eyes locked with hers as she brought her two fingers to her mouth, the defender loudly moaning at the taste of you on her fingers. Your mouth fell open slightly as you watched her lick her fingers clean, your grip on her waist tightening as the sounds she was making. Steph pulled her fingers from her mouth with a small “pop” and moved to lay next to you.
You both lay there staring at each other as you finally catch your breath. Your eyes trace over her face, taking every part of her features in before your eyes lock with hers. “Old habits die hard sometimes,” you joked, trying to keep the mood light.
Steph chuckled softly at your words before propping her head on her hand, her eyes filled with a look you had only seen once. “Don’t say it,” you mumbled, not wanting the mood to be broken just yet.
Steph sighed softly before finding the art piece on your way much more interesting. “This shouldn’t have happened,” she muttered after a minute of silence.
“Because of him,” you asked, even though you knew the answer.
Steph swallowed softly before nodding which earned an eye roll from you. “Tell me you genuinely like him and I’ll agree, but otherwise it looks like you don’t really like him if you’re here with me,” you scoffed as you sat up slightly.
Steph moved to mirror your position, her fingers fiddling with each other as she thought about what to say. The defender took a deep breath before her eyes locked with yours again, this time small tears welled up in the corner of her eyes.
“I love you,” she started, her eyes widening slightly as if she couldn’t believe she said that. “I love you and that scares me. I’ve never felt this way about anyone else, certainly not him. I thought this was just a fun hook-up for you and I was too scared to ever say anything because I didn’t want to lose you,” Steph finished as she blinked rapidly to hold her tears in.
You didn’t say anything for a moment as you processed her words and your silence had Steph doubting everything she had just said. Steph licked her lips as more tears welled in her eyes before you chuckled. Your chuckle turned into a loud laugh as you shook your head.
Steph’s eyebrows furrowed in confusion, as she waited for you to explain. “You thought I didn’t feel the same way? Damn, I must suck at giving signals,” you joked as you made eye contact with her again.
“Steph, I think I’ve been in love with you from the moment we first met,” you confessed as you looked at her, she could see the truth in your eyes as you spoke. “I never knew how to tell you and then we hooked up after winning some game and I thought maybe you felt the same way but the next day you acted like nothing happened,” you continued, recounting the first time you ever slept together.
“But then we kept hooking up and I didn’t want to mess anything up so I never said anything. And then you ended and wouldn’t talk to me,” you finished, not wanting to go further about how jealous you felt about the man she was currently seeing.
Steph took in everything you said, realizing how much suffering you two could have avoided had you just communicated. “We suck at communication,” the Aussie joked as she slid closer to you, one of her hands moving to cup your cheek.
You turned slightly, pressing further into her touch as you laughed softly at her words. Her thumb ran across your bottom lip before she pressed her lips to yours. This kiss was softer than any kiss you ever shared, more love than lust behind it as you wrapped your hand around her wrist. Steph pulled away first, her forehead resting on yours as she kept her eyes closed.
“I need to call him,” she muttered, an irritated groan following her words.
“In the morning,” you cooed, “for now, I wanna make you feel better than he ever could,” you husked as you pushed her back into a laying position.
You spent the rest of the night pleasuring each other, a new feeling behind every action now that you both had your feelings out there. You two might have sucked at communicating how you felt before, but now, you wouldn’t make the same mistake. Once Steph broke up with her boyfriend, the two of you could pursue an actual relationship that didn’t equate to just sex.
#woso x reader#awfc x reader#auswnt x reader#matildas x reader#steph catley x reader#steph catley#arsenal wfc x reader
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Walk down memory lane : AK!Jason Todd x fem!reader
Warnings: mention of self harm and suicidal thoughts.
You can find other AK!stories on point 4 here: Jason Todd masterlist
***
She was just so tired.
Tired of fighting, of keeping up that fucking hope, of carrying the excessive weight on her shoulders.
She just couldn’t anymore .
Maybe it was time to finally accept that Jason didn’t care about her. That he would never care again. Not in the same way he used to before all this shit hit them. Before Joker, Harley, Arkham…
But she still needed, wanted, craved his love.
But how long can a girl be strong and live in a delusion?
And for the first time in a year she started crying.
What Harley could not achieve, happened because of a boy. No amount of torture and mind games and tricks she was subject to in Arkham, not once broke her. But the indifference and cold treatment from her former boyfriend, the one who she still loved got her on her knees, sobbing and shaking on the bed in her little, cold Asylum cell.
He was right. She was completely alone, no one was coming to help her, safe her from that void that finally found a way straight to her heart. Nothing more than a playtoy, unlovable, weak, pathetic, developing a heavy case of Stockholm syndrome.
Poor girl hugged herself in a foul attempt to calm down, but it was for nothing. Tears were falling freely down her cheeks, turning her into a puddle of emotions she couldn’t hold back. It was like the old wound and the feeling of being used opened and uncovered all the layers she cut off before.
Some people call it trauma, but she couldn’t care less about the terminology.
Maybe it would be better to just end her own life right now just so she wouldn’t have to suffer through another day of such lousy existence. It was Arkham, she was pretty sure she would find something to help her execute her plan.
On shaking legs she stood up from the bed, moving towards the bathroom. The mirror that Jason broke violently after their last encounter was still not fixed and the sharp pieces of glass poked on every side.
Perfect.
Gathering all the strength she had left, she reached towards the splinter and pointed it towards her wrist, assessing the “best” place to cut……
***
She woke up feeling sore and in tremendous amount of pain like never before. Both of her wrists were patched up with the clean bandages and she wasn’t even in her own sweatbox. Honestly, she couldn’t for the love of God recognise the place where she was, until the familiar, slightly muffled voice threw her off her confused state and brought back to reality.
“WHAT THE FUCK WERE YOU THINKING?!” Jason hissed with unconcealed anger and she shivered. “WHAT WERE YOU TRYING TO DO!?” in a blink of an eye he was right next to her, grabbing her chin and forcing her eyes up.
She was just completely silent, the tight grip of his fingers on her puffy, hurting cheeks causing a few more tears to flow down her eyes.
“I’m sorry…..” she whispered, slightly panicking. He was never supposed to find her, let alone to save her. And why did he? Was it only because he needed her for release in the future? “I’m sorry…..” her whole body shook violently.
“Y/N…….” her name in his mouth sounded almost sweet and the touch got far more gentle, sudden change in behaviour making her freeze. What was going on?
“I……” her mouth fell agape and it was impossible to say a word.
“Did you forget what I told you last time? You’re mine. You can’t just go and decide to hurt yourself this way. I cannot allow it.”
“Why?” she sobbed “it’s not like you care. I am just a reminder of the past, of all those lies you were fed by Batman and your family. Of someone you once were and could never be again.”
“Stop it!”
“Please, please, just let me go. Just let me finish it, please.” Her desperation and panic attack coming out in waves in the form of the aggressive tugging on the dressing, trying to reopen the stitched wounds and cuts. “I’ll do it myself. You won’t even have to lift a finger.”
“Stop it!’
“You can even watch it, I know you’ll enjoy the show. You wanted a show, didn’t you?”
“FOR FUCK’S SAKE STOP IT!” finally he managed to get a hold of her hands, pinning them down to her sides, precluding her from moving, even though she still struggled against his hold. “Is that what you think of me? That I will enjoy that?” she nodded shakily “fuck!”
“I’m sorry…..” she whimpered again. She was still here and he was now mad which could only equal to another punishment. And this time it was not going to be intimate. He could really hurt her at any time.
“Baby…..” he whispered, almost without thinking, closing his eyes “princess.”
“Wha….. what did you say?” her eyes grew wide. Did he really use those words or was it just an imagination?
Jason was completely inside his head now, memories flooding his brain like a fucking Niagara. He remembered the past. The moment, when while still being Robin, someone came after her, attacking her and almost eliminating her from the equation. He recalled the hours spend in the medical bay, watching her pale face and the heart rate monitor, praying to whatever entity was up there to bring her back to him. All those little heart attacks caused each time she took a sharp exhale. Falling asleep next to her bed, holding and caressing her cold hand, whispering pleas and promises to keep her safe in the future if she just woke up. Brushing up on how he felt when she finally opened her e/c eyes, looking at him with so much love and concern, asking if he was all right.
He remembered how she cared about him….. And how he cared about her.
“Ja…. Jace?” she swallowed the lump in her throat, taking the risk to use his nickname, ready for another anger fit, but instead she met his honest gaze, so different from the one she was used to in his Arkham Knight version.
“Don’t ever do this again.” He gasped, brushing her cheek, putting a strand of hair behind her ear “you hear me? Ever.”
“Jason?” he bottom lip trembled because of that sudden display of emotion from his part.
“Ever.” He emphasised. “I don’t want to see you in pain.”
“Ok……”
“Anyone who hurt you deserve a punishment and that applies to you hurting yourself. Is that clear?”
“Anyone, but you?” she blurt without thinking and immediately covered her mouth in fear of the words that came out her mouth.
Jason tensed a bit, his muscles flexing but he didn’t move.
“Get some rest. Need you recovered soon. Big plans for you.” He just said and with one final look into her eyes left the room, leaving her completely speechless.
…..
#jason todd x reader#arkham knight x reader#jason todd x you#jason todd x y/n#jason todd x oc#jason todd angst#jason todd smut#arkham knight#arkham knight angst#arkham knight jason todd#arkham knight x y/n#arkham knight imagine#arkhamverse
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Miles G x Done! Reader
A/n: I’ve had this idea to finish this so this is gonna be the last part of this story. Once again, requests are closed but nice comments are appreciated 🫶🏽🫶🏽
Warnings: Yandere behavior, arguing, strong language, Stockholm syndrome, mentions of starvation and your circulation being cut off(very brief at the end), kidnapping, toxic behavior, violence, mentions of blood and bruises, lmk if I missed one
You felt a strong pair of arms grip your being as you struggled for freedom. Every thought you had somehow left your mind and new thoughts took their place, most of them being about how you were gonna get out of this when suddenly, everything was dark and you heard a familiar voice:
“You thought you could escape me Mami?”
~~~
When you awoke, you were in a cold room that felt almost sterile yet it felt like someone had tried to make it homey. A punching bad stood in the corner and it seemed you were in a wear house.
You dawned a leg chain as if you were an animal and you were wearing an outfit that had been long abandoned. Your hair felt puffier and you realized it was in the style you had when you left him(or so you thought).
The lights flickered on as you grimaced and the sound of fluorescent lighting buzzing and filling your ear and you attempted to shield your face in a last stitch effort to give yourself comfort in such an uncomfortable environment. His figure stalked through the door slowly as he glared at you. He was wearing his usual Prowler attire while dawning the same necklace you two had as a symbol of your long forgotten love.
Miles stalked closer as you tried to shuffle away knowing what was to come. Tears slipped down your cheeks as he put his hand on your cheek and wiped the tears away.
“Hola, mi amor. I understand these aren’t the best circumstances for us to reconcile but it still serves its purpose” he said
“Fuck you you insane bastard” you said lowly
“Such strong language for someone in such a weak position” he smirked
“What do you want?” You questioned
“You. It’s always been you”
“Why do you want me after all this time? I’ve changed I’m not the same anymore, Miles” you tried to convince him
“Just because you move to a new state which wasn’t far enough cuz I was still able to get you, and change your fits and hair doesn’t mean you’re any different, y/n. I get it, I haven’t been the most attentive or even the best boyfriend but I’m still yours and you’re still mine.”
“That’s not true. You hid being the prowler from me, you isolated me from my family, friends, everyone that cared about me” you said
“Because I love you, Y/n. When will you understand that? You wanted me so badly and now you have me.” He smirked crouching to your level
“I wanted you before I knew how much of a wackjob you were” you said, trying to scoot away from this monster
“Did you really just say ‘wackjob’ ma?” He laughed like it was Kevin Heart in front of him
“YES I DID BECAUSE THATS WHAT YOURE ARE!!” You screamed. Miles didn’t even flinch and instead just smiled
“Mama I’m not a ‘wackjob’ I’m your man and no amount of shitty hair dye and new clothes can change that” he said
“I hate you Miles Morales” You cried
“You’ll grow to love me just as you once did, Y/n. Just give it time” he said before getting up and leaving
“Oh and Ma?” He asked but you didn’t answer
“I left you some sopa de pollo because I know how tired you must be. And if it’s not gone by the morning, I’ll make you eat it in front of me and” he said before leaving one fluorescent light on and leaving the room. Leaving you with chicken soup and in tears.
The next day he uphold his promise and made you eat by forcing you to swallow it and spoon feeding you:
“I’ll feed you every meal, Chiquita if that’s what it’ll take for you to love me again” Miles said
“It’s gonna be a lot of meals before that happens” you joked
Miles smiled as he saw a sliver of your personality shined through. He always adored your humor and your wit and took this as a sign you’d be back to normal within no time.
The next three weeks we’re both grueling and miserable yet somewhat Euphoric. Starving wasn’t an option since he would spoon feed you(which you started eating yourself) and neither was hoping your circulation would cut off because he padded the leg cuff. Although lately, he would give you “breaks” which meant he let you walk around the warehouse a bit. You started joking more and being more open and Miles couldn’t be happier.
He started staying with you longer and cuddling with you now that trust was built up again and he felt like you were back to how you were before. He adored you and would do anything for you. If you had a cold, he would get you meds and nurse you back to health; if you had a food craving, he would get it in a heartbeat. It even got to the point of you taking care of Miles yourself.
Sometimes he would come in with cuts and bruises and you would gently nurse him back to health and clean his cuts with the little first aid kit he gave you. It felt so weird to be falling for him again and suddenly you felt like the first time you met him. It took months to crack his shell but once you did, it was over for you.
Perhaps it was the Stockholm Syndrome, maybe the lighting or maybe the fact that he went this far to care for you that made you start to love him once more.
~~~
#mcu fanfiction#miles morales#miles morales x reader#miles morales x y/n#miles morales headcannons#miles x reader#across the spiderverse#spider man: across the spider verse#spiderman#across the spiderverse spoilers#yandere spiderverse#yandere marvel#yandere miles morales#earth 42 miles#e42 miles#miles g#miles morales prowler#prowler miles#miles g morales#miles 42#miles!prowler#miles morales fanfiction#spiderverse spoilers#spiderverse#across the spiderverse fanart#spiderman into the spiderverse#into the spider verse#spider man#marvel#for you
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One Step at a Time
summary: when you get brutally injured on a mission with no way to contact anyone, bucky goes out to find you.
pairing: bucky x avenger!reader
word count: 4.5k
warnings: angst, slight protective!bucky, mentions of death and killing, mentions of torture, blood, injuries, trauma, injured!reader
a/n: here’s another avenger!reader one shot from the long list of ideas i have… i’m thinking of making them all connected so it’s the same reader from six days (: i promise my next fic won’t be so depressing i apologize
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Trying to fight off the hand currently clasped over your mouth, you were only repeatedly unsuccessful. Steve hadn’t seen you get dragged off, turning around and panicking immediately.
You could hear his calls for your voice become increasingly faint as the men dragged you to a secluded room you assumed Steve wouldn’t be able to access.
“What do you mean you don’t know where she is, Steve?” Bucky sat, still in his disheveled state from being woken up abruptly by Sam for an emergency meeting.
“Buck, wake up man,” Sam said, clasping Bucky’s shoulder lightly and shaking him a bit.
Opening his eyes reluctantly, Bucky wondered what could possibly be so important this early in the morning. He never got much sleep when you went on your missions, feeling the bed to be a little too empty and thus, leaving him lonely with his thoughts.
Looking at the clock, it read 4:17AM.
Looking back at Sam, Bucky knew something wasn’t right. Sam’s usual, playful nature replaced with one that looked remorseful.
“What’s going on?” Bucky asked hesitantly. “Everything okay?”
“It’s Y/n, Buck,” Sam responded, rubbing his hand against the back of his neck. He looked nervous, almost as if it was his fault. “She’s missing. Steve wants to have a meeting with us.”
“What do you mean she’s missing?” Bucky said calmly, though he most certainly felt his heart drop from his chest.
Sam was just as distraught as Bucky in the meeting, bobbing his knee up and down in his seat. He had told you Steve was swapping with him for the mission, second guessing himself after taking it up in the first place. You were upset he wasn’t joining you, having been the only person you trusted enough to go on missions alone with besides Bucky since you recovered from the explosion. It made him feel guilty that it had resulted in your disappearance.
It had taken you a while to feel comfortable enough to start participating in any missions, and even when you did, you always made the effort to stay in the same room as someone else. You couldn’t bear to be alone again, more than just fearful to end up in another situation where you had no idea what to do with no immediate help.
Plunging the knife into the chest of the last man, you exhaled a few shaky breaths.
You had been fighting these men for what felt like hours. One of them had managed to stab you in the side while you weren’t looking, and to your eventual disadvantage, you pulled it out of your suit and used it to deal with about ten other men on your own.
Staring at the last man only pushed you to look at the vast amount of bodies around you, about twenty of them laying in pools of blood everywhere, most of which you barely recalled finishing off.
You had experienced your fair share of moments with blind rage before, most of which came from your time with Hydra. But you made the effort never to kill someone. A vow you made to yourself, which was now broken.
Choking on a sob you didn’t realize was coming, you stood up and placed pressure on your stab wound before searching through the room for medical supplies. It was clearly a doctor’s room, one that reminded you of the office you spent a lot of time in while captured by Hydra.
Finding a first aid kit, you did your best to stitch and patch the stab wound with so little supplies. Once you were finished, you put the jacket of your suit back on, knowing it was freezing outside and you had to find some sort of shelter.
If there were more men coming to the building, the last thing you wanted to do was try to fight more of them off in your current state. You had hoped Steve made it out, now doing everything you can to do the same for yourself.
Finding a nearby exit, you walked out into the cool air.
It was gonna be a long walk.
Steve was still in his suit, dirt covering his face though it did nothing to mask his solemn expression.
He wasn’t sure how the two of you got separated. He was keeping a close eye on you since the last time you were paired together, things went bad. Hell, you almost died. Steve was simply starting to think he gave you bad luck when you were around him.
“I– I’m not sure,” Steve choked out, and he wasn’t lying at all. “We had made it inside and were met with some resistance, but we didn’t split up. We got caught up fighting and when I had turned around, she was gone. I didn’t leave her, Buck, you have to believe me. I wouldn’t do that to her. I wouldn’t do that to you.”
Bucky believed him, but he couldn’t help but overthink the fact that you’d been caught up in a bad place in the last two missions you’ve spent with Steve. It was his best friend and, of course, he knew he’d never have ill intentions with you.
He just hoped you were okay.
“It’s okay, Steve,” he reassured. “We’ll find her. Don’t worry.”
God, you had hoped they’d somehow find you.
You swore you’d been walking in circles for ten hours, searching for the safe house Tony had informed you and Steve was near where your mission was taking place.
You were so tired. You had barely managed to fight off all of the maniacs who had tried to hold you captive in the old Hydra base you and Steve were assigned to get rid of. You recognized a few of them from your days in the organization, but it took you a lot longer to fight them on your own after getting stabbed in the side and a few hits to the head.
You had never done any killing with Hydra, seeing as they never got you to commit to it, but something had triggered you to kill almost all of them. The only ones who didn’t reap such consequences were the ones who had ambushed you and Steve when you both had found an entrance into the building.
You felt sick to your stomach because of it, along with all the energy being drained from you slowly but surely with every step you took towards nowhere at this point. You had lost your transponder somewhere in that god-forsaken building, so on top of losing Steve, it wasn’t like anyone back at the compound could track your location either.
Steve.
You assumed he’d started to look for you after you lost each other, but you had no idea if he was still in this general location. He might’ve stayed or gone back to the compound to tell the others you were missing.
It genuinely wasn’t his fault you got separated, and you’d only hoped he knew that. Someone who might not know that, on the other hand, is Bucky. You then hoped he wouldn’t give Steve a hard time, not wanting them to have any more tension than the last time you suffered while paired up with his best friend.
“She still has to go to the debrief, Bucky,” Steve pushed. “It’s been long enough and we’ve pushed past protocol longer than we ever have.”
“What if she doesn’t want to talk about it, Steve? We all went to debrief, why does she have to do it too?”
“She experienced what none of us did,” the blonde countered again. “No one knows what happened in that room but her. We need every detail.”
Reluctantly, Bucky gave in. But he regretted it the second things were rough in the meeting.
“You have to remember, Y/n,” Steve tried to encourage you, but it wasn’t really working.
“I told you I never found where it came from, I’m not making that up,” you defended.
“You said you didn’t remember if you found where it came from.”
“The last thing I remember was seeing one blink of a red light before the explosion. I don’t remember if it was actually the source or something else. I never found it, Steve,” you urged softly.
Bucky was getting irritated. You hadn’t talked much to him about what happened because you hated how you felt afterwards, and now you were sitting here getting interrogated by Steve who hadn’t been there every step of your recovery.
“Y/n–”
“I think that’s enough, Steve,” Bucky said before grabbing your hand and standing up. “We’re done here.”
Your recollection of the memory was short-lived when you felt your suit starting to feel a lot wetter than before, peeking down to see it staining with fresh blood which means your wound had reopened. Limping towards what looked like an empty house, seeming freshly abandoned, you winced at the pain in your side. Walking up to the front door, you quickly jammed it in, glad to feel warmth in contrast to the cold air from outside.
Looking around to see if anyone was inside, you found yourself alone. Settling on a first aid kit from the bathroom, you plopped yourself on the couch and ripped the jacket of your suit off, almost peeling it with the dried blood making it stick to your skin a bit.
You did your best to restitch and patch the stab wound, but you knew you’d certainly have to redo it in a few hours. You could feel yourself getting lightheaded, likely from the loss of blood and lack of nourishment. Trying your best to stay awake didn’t work as well as you hoped, but you held on for as long as you could.
Back at the compound, Bucky was packing everything he possibly needed. He didn’t know how long it was gonna take to find you, but he sure as hell knew he wouldn’t stop searching until he did. He had told Steve it was best for him to stay for this one, knowing he was feeling the guilt of having you go lost in the first place.
Bucky heard a knock at his door, turning around to see Sam in his doorway.
“Ready to go?” he asked, seeing Bucky zip his bags.
“Let’s find her.”
It had been less than five hours since Steve had broken the news that he lost you. First, he told Bucky and Sam, knowing it’d be of most importance to them. Then the rest of the team had joined in on the meeting, immediately making plans on how to find her.
Sam, Natasha, Tony, Bruce, Clint, and Thor had agreed to go with Bucky to help find you. Bucky had no problem going on his own, but Natasha assured that it’d be best for everyone to join in. They attributed your last known location to the last signal your transponder gave off, and thus decided to start there.
Steve waved them off as they left on the jet, but everyone was aware he’d be tracking from back at the compound.
Upon making it to the location of your mission and where they knew you had been at some point, they found your (now dead) transponder in the middle of a pool of blood. There were bodies everywhere, and Bucky had only grown anxious.
You had never enjoyed getting unnecessarily violent, and in that, you always reminded him of himself. He was aware Hydra hadn’t toyed with your head nearly to the extent they did with him, but it was enough to do some damage.
You’d confided in him with all of your stories, never going into extreme detail out of compassion for his own experiences and not wanting to trigger him into those thoughts. However, he knew that you’d never killed anyone. Beaten some people beyond a general healing point, definitely, but you couldn’t bring yourself to take a life. Hydra had their fair share of punishments for you because of that but it hadn’t broken you to the point of reaching that point.
Seeing all the dead bodies scattered across the room, there had to be about twenty of them. Bucky didn’t want to admit it, but it undoubtedly scared him. If you were in that much trouble to cause such damage, he was worried about what state he’d find you in.
Seeing everyone make their way out of the room, Bucky shook the negative thoughts from his head. He didn’t want to distract himself from his priority: finding you, regardless of what state you’d be in.
“If she’s injured, she couldn’t have made it far,” Natasha stated, staring around at the outside of the building from an open window. “She might still be around here somewhere, maybe hid–”
Lights from a series of vehicles appeared outside. About four dozen Hydra men made their way towards the entrance of the building, murmuring about how they needed to find you before the Avengers did.
“We’ve got company, boys,” Natasha stated instead of finishing her previous thought.
Bucky made his way to the window, seeing that horrid insignia his memory would never let him forget. “Hydra. There’s more of them still around than I thought.”
“Cut a head off, two more take its place, huh?” Natasha recalled the organization’s motto. “We need to do this quickly, we don’t know how much time Y/n’s got and we still don’t know where she is–”
“Go,” Bucky said. “Go find her, I’ll handle them.”
“Buck, is that really the best ch–” Sam started.
“I said, go.”
“I’m sticking with you, everyone else can go.”
Bucky sighed before nodding in agreement. Natasha made her way out with Tony, Thor, and Clint, finding a back entrance. Bruce was still in the jet, tracking nearby buildings you could possibly be in. Thor, Natasha, and Clint decided to split up and search each one, Tony trying to find heat signatures that could somehow match yours.
Bucky and Sam made their way to the ground floor, watching all of the men surge in. Bucky loaded his rifle, Sam releasing Redwing to count how many men there were.
“There’s 40 of them,” Sam whispered loud enough for only Bucky to hear him.
“20 for each of us, huh?” Bucky adjusted his hold on his rifle from around the corner of the hallway. “If Y/n can do it, so can we.” Feeling a boost in confidence, Bucky started to make his move, knocking out a few men right away as Sam did the same.
He knew he couldn’t let anyone get to you before anyone from the team did, even if it meant letting the others go ahead of him. He felt a lot more calculated than he usually did, knowing your life (or death) was in the gamble of the entire operation.
You, on the other hand, were about to give up. Staying awake has never been this difficult, but with your pulse going faster by the second and the sudden chills you were feeling, you had a feeling this was it.
Your wound hadn’t opened at all in the last two hours, but you attributed it to pure luck at this point. The way you were feeling could only be coming from the gaping hole on the side of your torso, even covered.
You still tried your best to keep your eyes open, knowing you weren’t going to let yourself die cold and alone in the middle of nowhere. You felt awful, a few tears shedding from your eyes from how sick you were starting to feel. You wanted to sleep, but you were scared to go under and then not wake up.
Not to mention, you couldn’t sleep knowing the nightmares that were inevitably going to come. Feeling physically awful was one thing, but watching all those lifeless bodies fall to the floor after you killed them only made you feel worse. You couldn’t get the memory out of your head, only sobbing slightly to yourself thinking about it.
The thought that lingered even more in your head was how you were gonna tell Bucky. He knew you’d never resort to such drastic measures and you were afraid he’d look at you different once he found out.
If he even found you alive at this point.
The team had searched about 40 houses in the last two hours, eventually teaming up with Bucky and Sam who had dealt with all forty men in the span of half an hour. They even checked the safe house in case you had made it and passed out before communicating with them, but you weren’t there either.
“There’s only one house left on this entire street,” Bruce spoke through comms.
Bucky’s anxiety was only going sky high with every second they hadn’t found you yet. They had no idea what your condition was like and he was doing his best not to think of the worst possible scenario. He’d hoped the tricks he taught you while on missions with him had helped somewhat, like knowing how to stitch a wound or finding a safe place from danger.
Bucky’s racing mind was interrupted by Tony’s voice on comms; he had gone to check the house and determine if there was anyone inside.
“Heat signature matches Y/l/n’s, and it’s not looking too good,” he said as he landed back on the ground.
The team rushed over, Bucky running faster than he’d ever run before. Opening the door in a rush, he saw you laying on the couch, taking staggered breaths with your eyes closed. Everyone had walked in behind him, Natasha alerting Bruce that they had found you and telling him to prep the jet.
Bucky’s only focus was you. He placed his hands on your cheek, startling you enough to push him back before your eyes landed on him.
“Bucky?” you said, definitely not believing your eyes as you looked around and saw everyone else in the room.
Bucky approached you again slowly, not wanting to scare you further since you were probably in shock.
“Hey, baby, it’s me,” he assured you as you stared him down frantically before you started to sob. “We came to take you home, alright? We’re going home.”
As the jet landed outside, Bucky picked you up in his arms. You instinctively curled up against him, hiding your cold face in the warmth of the crook of his neck. After everyone boarded, the jet made its way back to the compound.
Bucky had looked at your wound, replacing the dirty gauze for a clean one. You’d cried almost the entire ride, all of your emotions rushing in like a freight train.
It hurt Bucky to see you in such a state, knowing you were tired of all the losses in life. He knew exactly how it felt, but he’d also felt you deserved it much less than he did all those years. You didn’t kill anyone like he did, you didn’t ruin anyone’s life like he did, you didn’t make people scared of you. He tried to shake those thoughts from his head, knowing you’d scold him again for thinking so low of himself in comparison to you.
Running his hands through your hair, he stayed next to you the entire time, reassuring you that you were safe and soothing you as best as he could.
Once you all had arrived to the compound, it only got worse.
A gurney was waiting for you on the landing pad, which you didn’t want to be laid on, to begin with. Once they had strapped you down, your cries only got worse, screaming Bucky’s name out as they took you to the medical bay. Bucky wanted to follow, but Sam stopped him, saying it was best to do the debrief right away.
You refused to let anyone touch you unless Bucky was there, and the doctors in the medical bay were getting so frustrated, the only choice they had was to sedate you in the meantime. When they had finally patched up your wound properly, they left you to rest.
Rest was very much not in your cards, however, with your crying fits continuing and Bucky’s hearts breaking into about a million more pieces than before when he walked into your room to see you crying to yourself.
“Y/n…” he spoke softly, sliding into the bed with you carefully and pulling you into his arms, cautious enough not to hurt you further. Kissing the top of your head multiple times, he rubbed your arms up and down until your cries eventually stopped.
“Y-you’re gonna hate me, Bucky,” you said with a shaky voice. “I don’t want you to hate me when you find out what I did.”
“Baby, what are you talking about?” he looked down at you, but Bucky was well aware what you were thinking of. “I could never hate you. Ever. Not after everything we’ve been through together, okay? Don’t ever say something like that.”
Bucky heard you sniffle and saw a few tears fall down your cheeks, heart aching at the fact that you might start sobbing again. You slowly wrapped your arms around him, hiding your face from him in his chest.
The following days were still rough. Bucky felt lucky enough that you’d have your meals with him, but you didn’t feel like leaving your room. Steve had checked in with you and said you wouldn’t have to update anyone on what happened after you got separated. Not until you were ready to talk about it.
Bucky stayed with you more often, even after you pleaded with him to not tear up his schedule for you. He skipped out on a mission just so he could stay with you, which he assured you was okay because it meant his next mission would be with you.
The only way you got him to go back to his routine was to offer to train with him. He had asked you a million times if you were sure, knowing what most likely occurred back on your mission’s complication. Eventually, he gave in as he always did, but he knew he wasn’t going to rush you into anything.
Picking up your normal tools for your usual, more-intense sparring sessions you always had with Bucky, your hands started to shake. Bucky noticed and rubbed your shoulders smoothly.
“We don’t have to do anything you’re not ready for,” he whispered lowly in your ear. “Just take it one step at a time, okay?”
You nodded up at him, putting your tools down. You thought it’d help to move slow, but the second you knocked Bucky down, you kneeled down next to him, anxiously asking if he was okay with tears in your eyes.
Bucky looked up at you quizzically, knowing you knew in the back of your mind somewhere that you couldn’t hurt him detrimentally from a normal sparring session.
He wiped your tears away as you stared at him with fear in your eyes, only making him feel even worse about you experiencing what you had experienced alone.
“Baby, hey,” he said as you shut your eyes and cried. “Look at me.”
Blinking a few times, you sniffled and looked down at him, completely uncaring of your tears that had fallen on his shirt.
“You could never hurt me, my love,” he rubbed your cheeks with his calloused thumbs, though it was the comfort you surely needed. “The only way you could hurt me is by breaking my heart and I know that’s not gonna happen anytime soon, right?”
You shook your head.
“Then don’t worry so much, baby,” he leaned up and kissed your lips softly. “I’m more than okay. You were just better than me. Let’s go shower and watch a movie.”
Standing up and lifting you up with a helping hand, you both walked back to Bucky’s room which was the closest. Stepping into the bathroom, Bucky let the water run from the showerhead so it could get warm. You stripped yourself of your clothes as he did the same, before getting into the shower.
After cleansing yourselves, Bucky rubbed your tense shoulders once again as you leaned into him.
“I killed them,” you muffled into his chest.
“Hm?” Bucky questioned, not quite hearing you over the running water and with your face down. Lifting your chin up to look at him, your eyes were puffy and red from all the crying you’d done all day. “You don’t have to talk about anything, Y/n. Okay? We can talk about it some other time.
Shaking your head, you sighed in faltered breaths. “I killed them, Bucky.”
Bucky looked at you with sorrow. He didn’t know how to tell you that he already knew, he didn’t even know if it was the right thing to tell you. All he did was brush your tears away and kiss your forehead, nose, then lips.
“You need to relax a bit, baby, okay?” he spoke in a soft tone. “We can talk about this tomorrow.”
Staring up at him in confusion, you shook your head again.
“You know already,” you confirmed to yourself, knowing Bucky too well to know he would usually ask if you wanted to talk further about something before putting it to bed. “You know I killed all those people.”
Bucky sighed, staring into your eyes before closing his and nodding slightly. “I do.”
“And you don’t look at me differently?” you asked, your voice a lot more calm and collected now. “I broke my promise, I didn’t even show them any mercy, Bucky—”
“Do you look at me differently knowing all the people I killed?” he interrupted, placing his flesh hand on your cheek and rubbing it slightly with his thumb. “You don’t, you never have. You knew who I was when you first got here and never looked at me differently. Why would I do that to you?”
“That’s different,” you countered. “You had no idea what you were doing, Bucky. I did.”
“You were defending yourself,” he retaliated, doing his best not to downplay your feelings. “If you hadn’t killed them, who knows what they would have done to you? It’s Hydra, they don’t care who they hurt or how they do it. If I were you, I would have done the same thing.”
He was right and you knew it. You laid your head back on his chest, scared to look him in the eye.
“I didn’t want you to look at me like I was broken,” you admitted. “I don’t know who I was when all of that happened and I just— it felt like I was trying to escape them all over again and I’ve never experienced that before. I was scared.”
“And that’s okay,” Bucky reassured you the same way he always had, wrapping his arms around your shoulders. “You’re not broken, you’re just healing. There’s nothing wrong with that, baby.”
You sniffled again before leaning into him more. “Can you just hold me for now?”
Bucky kissed your head again, squeezing his arms around you in all the warmth he could possibly transfer.
“You don’t have to ask me twice.”
—
I promise this is the last of my desire to write angst with injuring the reader… thank you for reading!
tags: @jessybarnes
#bucky angst#bucky fanfic#bucky barnes x female reader#bucky x reader#bucky barnes fic#bucky barnes#bucky barnes x y/n#bucky barnes x you#bucky imagine#bucky x female reader
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DP- Father Time
What if…. Clockwork was around far longer than Danny knew….
~
Life was a parade, and Clockwork had the best view. He was the master of time, he knew all of what was and what wasn’t. He saw the threads of every timeline, and took the best each had to offer for the most people.
He had pride in his work, and an annoying habit of always being right. How could he be wrong when he knew the future. He knew every future. This was one of the major reasons he was irritated when someone, namely the Observants, decided to tell him how to do his job.
They saw what was laid out in front of them. They saw what he laid out in front of them. They were spectators that clung too tightly to their oaths to merely watch, while cheating at the motion in the same breath. They acted so haughty but thought nothing of turning around and demanding Clockwork do this or that for them.
Clockwork would generally avoid having to deal with them by agreeing ‘something’ needed to be ‘done’ and then go back to doing what he wanted in the first place. Observers they might be, ancient even, but they did not have the power to watch his every move. He directed things in the right direction, the way he always had with or without their say so.
The future he had been keeping an eye on was swiftly on its way to becoming the present. The thrill of it put a smile on his face. Frankly it had been a while since he’d been so eager for anything.
He’d be busy, but time was such a controllable thing for him.
Making a portal to the moral plane, Clockwork floated through, remaining invisible. The house was the cozy sort, and deceiving normal though he knew it wouldn’t be for long. The hideous space like craft structure wasn’t yet protruding from the roof like an unwanted appendage. The glowing Fenton Works sign wasn’t out front yet either.
The contamination was present however. It was still in low, nearly unnoticeable amounts, but that was still double what was generally found in nature. At least in normal places that weren’t consecrated grounds or otherwise filled with abnormal levels of death.
This really was no place for children.
Unseen by the two small occupants in the room, he observed as a small boy was seated at the kitchen table, watching nervously while his older sister knelt on a chair at the counter, carefully pouring juice into a sippy cup. It was a small task, but not one such small children should have been dealing with unsupervised.
“Almost done, Danny.” Jazz said, turning to look at him with a smile. She only just barely noticed the way the chair wobbled, and didn’t notice how it stilled right after, Clockwork holding out an unseen hand to steady it with his telekinesis. It might have been a small thing, but it was unnecessary to have a timeline where the small girl fell off her chair and cracked her head on the counter. She would end up fine, and with seventeen stitches. Her younger brother, terrified of climbing on the kitchen chairs for the following five years.
It could be skipped.
It might have been meddling, but after the burden these two would end up growing up with, he saw no reason not to show them occasional good fortune.
Jazz climbed down from the counter, a sippy cup and small plastic cup in each hand. She set them on the table before running back to the counter to grab the peanut butter sandwiches she’d set on a paper towel.
It was lunch for two, and both were so young they didn’t see anything wrong with this scenario. It was perhaps wrong to interfere, but Clockwork saw a future that depended on both of them. Young Danny was going to be immensely important, and he would always cling to his sisters unwavering support.
There were too many futures where accidents harmed these children before the proper timeline could come into effect. Some where one or both children died before puberty even. That could not be allowed to happen, not if he wanted the most ideal time line.
The problem with that was that there wasn’t always someone present to protect them. Meddling be damned, he was not going to have the future suffer for such a small reason.
“I found extra new books in my closet!” Jazz said, as she climbed onto her chair at the table. “I’ll read to you after we eat!”
Danny was small, and possibly should have still been in some kind of booster seat at the table. Instead, he sat on a phone book, and even then was too small to do much more than see over the table. He didn’t talk much. Whether he was too small, or delayed in his milestones, Clockwork wasn’t sure.
For all his infinite knowledge, child care wasn’t something he would have put on a resume of his skills. Leaving a few books around for the children was easy enough, but care was something rather different.
Danny ate silently, his feet kicking to show his good mood. Neither child seemed worried about the fact that their parents were locked away in the basement, oblivious to how much time was really passing.
As the keeper of time he could understand that, but he didn’t think it an excuse to not have proper priorities in place.
“You can pick the book, okay? One of them has planets on it.”
Danny’s smile grew, eyes nearly shining with excitement.
“We’ll start with that one.” Jazz promised.
Clockwork hovered, deciding he could leave them for the time being. It was a shame that little Jasmine had to be so responsible but the accident had been avoided. Today was a success for the timeline.
At least they didn’t have to worry about the food from the fridge attacking them just yet. That was a set period of time that Clockwork was not actively looking forward to. The Fenton Parents were quite the extraordinary inventors, but they were rather lacking as parents. It was a shame that even in the best timeline possible so far, the pair had never really realized it.
~
While some might have called it interference, Clockwork didn’t see it that way. Since he didn’t need to ask permission of anyone to do his job, he used his judgment, as always.
At best he could visit the Fenton children every couple of weeks to check in or prevent something terrible from happening. At worst, he was there often. The record so far was needing to show up eight days in a row to either prevent a stressful near future, or to just plain take care of the children in some other way.
The tasks he could do invisibly and unobtrusively were the easiest to handle. The ones were he couldn’t avoid being seen where… questionable.
The one night he slid into Danny’s room, even the ticking of his own clock stuttered at the sight of the small boy crying into his pillow after a nightmare. He was going to have a few stern words for Nocturn.
He lifted the child up into his arms, cradling him against his shoulder and maintaining his adult form for this venture. The last thing he needed was to shift into his child form while holding a child.
For Danny’s part, he didn’t bat an eye, just continued to cry softly. He was still small enough that he didn’t care about the stranger in his bedroom. He only cared about the comfort he was getting and the rocking back and forth motion.
This interaction would cost him nothing. Tonight, Danny would be soothed and as he grew older, he would forget this moment ever happened. It would fade into dream-like memories.
“Those scary things can’t hurt you, little King to be.” Clockwork muttered, wiping at the tears falling down Danny’s face.
Blue eyes looked up at him owlishly, lips still wobbling from his fright.
“You just need a distraction.” Clockwork whispered, not wanting to wake anyone in the house. It likely would have only been Jazz though. The Fenton parents were either in the basement or out attempting to hunt what wasn’t yet a problem in Amity Park. He hadn’t bothered to look, he only knew enough to know he wouldn’t be seen or interrupted.
“Nn..” Danny reached up to tug on the hem of his hood.
“Yes.” Clockwork said, ectoplasm filling his palm. The glowing ball snatched Danny’s attention away in an instant, the child reaching for it only to be pulled away. “Not yet. Touching it isn’t safe for you yet.”
Danny stretched again, sniffing back tears as he attempted to reach for it a second time. Instead, the ectoplasm split apart into a dozen little pieces. Each floated up towards the ceiling, rearranging themselves into rough star shapes.
“St-!” Danny pointed up at them, a smile slowly spreading across his little face.
“How about you keep these for the night?” Clockwork asked, “They’ll keep the bad dreams away.”
The toddler was enthralled, head tilted back.
Clockwork laid Danny back down in bed, tucking him in and kneeling at the edge of his bed. “These will watch over you, okay?”
“Nhnn.” Danny’s smile remained, he only spared Clockwork another peaceful look before he looked back up at the ectoplasm stars. Normally, the exposure probably would have been unhealthy but the children were exposed enough. This little bit wouldn’t do any harm. He’d checked.
For several long minutes Clockwork watched him, the child’s eyes blinking slowly. Sleep was tugging at him, but his desire to look at the stars was strong.
“There are scary things out there, little King to be.” Clockwork said softly. “But there are plenty of good things out there too if you look.”
Danny pointed up at the ectoplasm again, the green light spread across the room.
“Goodnight, Danny.” Clockwork said, knowing it would only be minutes before the child’s eyes closed for a much more peaceful bout of sleeping.
~
Not for the first time, Clockwork found himself surprised by the very future he had already predicted. Knowing the future and living through it in the present were incomparable. Emotions were vast, every ghost knew that in particular. Emotions overflowed for them, and while Clockwork knew he would care about the children, feeling that affection first hand was overwhelming.
The disdain he felt for the ghost hunting Fentons grew as their lack of positive parenting became evident. It wasn’t just their ghost hunting focus that was getting on his nerves, though it hadn’t happened yet, but their poor interactions with their own children.
It shouldn’t have been up to Jazz to take care of her little brother. She went as far as to drop him off at daycare by herself before walking to school alone. Once or twice Clockwork would appear, invisibly hovering beside her to make sure she got to both places safely. Once he’d pulled her and her brother out of the way from being clipped by a car, and twice since then he stopped time momentarily to hold the red lights and let Jazz cross the street on her little legs.
It was frankly outrageous that no one seemed to notice the dangers these kids were constantly in, or the neglect they suffered. All the same, even he could only meddle so much, and he was far more than he realized he’d need to.
As much as he tried to stay out of sight, some occasions were impossible. When he needed to apply baid-aids to both of Danny’s knees when he fell on the concrete steps outside of the house, or when he appeared behind Jazz as a spectral terror to scare away a young man who was following the little girl to the corner store with awful intentions in mind.
The last one had almost been a disaster when Jazz turned around and looked up at him, then at the young man running away as fear gripped his heart.
“Thank you.” Jazz said, though she didn’t quite understand what she was thanking him for. She turned around, marching right back to the corner store with dollar bills in her change purse.
“You’re welcome, Jazz.” He muttered before fading away from sight. Even while being among his predictions of possible outcomes, it was a strange reaction from the little girl who’s parents ranted about ghosts. The blanket acceptance for receiving help.
He didn’t know where her kindness came from, but it was imperative that she passed it on to her brother. She was small, but she was smart. She was reading at a second grade level already, and wrote on the wall calendar what days the bills were due. She was responsible beyond her years, not out of want but necessity.
If Clockwork helped distract Danny for a while so she was able to read or make sandwiches for them, that was their collective business, just the three of them.
“Mr. Ghost.” Jazz blinked up at him one afternoon. She was fidgeting and ended up dropping her gaze to her feet. “Can you help me lift the bottle?”
“The…bottle?” He stared at her. Danny ran towards them, running through Clockwork and falling onto his hands and knees with a laugh. The small boy kept trying to grab Clockwork's ghost tail and was endlessly thrilled by not being able to touch it.
“Yeah, for the dirty clothes. I read the directions but i can’t lift the bottle. It’s heavy.” Jazz said, holding out a hand for Danny to help regain his balance.
“Yes. I can help you.” Clockwork said. It was easy to be proud of these children, and quietly infuriating that it was necessary.
It wasn’t just that Jazz had learned to be so self sufficient, it was that Danny knew to stay by his sister. While Jazz tossed their clothes into the washing machine, and Clockwork helped Jazz measure out the detergent, Danny sat on the floor nearby playing with a spaceship that Jazz had made for him out of paper plates, duct tape, and plastic straws.
These kids were growing up with only occasional visits from their parents while living in the same house.
“Thank you.” Jazz said when they had finished.
“You’re quite welcome, Jazz.”
It was almost sad how the Fentons had no idea there was a ghost in their home. Until they did, or until they suspected something was strange.
Danny was little, and didn’t know who he was supposed to share things with, or what he was supposed to keep secret. When he started to talk about his flying friend, his see-through friend, the Fentons over reacted.
Clockwork might have had to stay out of the house for a few weeks, but he still watched carefully as Jack and Maddie searched the house, Danny’s room in particular. Ghost hunting was their obsession and they took a toddler at his word.
When he finally started crying over his parents too loud, nearly volatile search, Jazz lost her temper.
“He just has an imaginary friend! It’s not real! Not everything is a ghost! Ghosts aren’t real!”
“Now, Jazz.” Maddie tried to soothe her. “If he says he saw-”
“He’s a baby! All you talk about is ghosts. Of course his imaginary friend would look like a ghost, but you aren’t finding anything, are you?! Ghosts aren’t real!” She took Danny’s hand and stomped off to her own room where they could play in peace, away from the whirling alarms of ghost gadgets.
It was the stance the small girl would take for years. Ghosts did not exist, while she knew very well that they did. She chose to protect Clockwork over letting her parents know that there had been a ghost in the house.
It was however, a reminder to Clockwork that he was becoming a little too complacent. He was being seen a little too often. Danny couldn’t know about him until the time was right, but Jazz was more than capable of keeping quiet.
He continued to tuck Danny in after a nightmare and a night of glowing ectoplasm stars on the ceiling. He also continued to help Jazz when something was just a little out of her means, but otherwise did better to stay hidden.
Even invisible, Jazz often knew when he was around. It had Clockwork smiling at the future where she would be in full control of her liminality. The kids were growing to be quite capable.
~
In theory, Clockwork had been looking forward to the day where Danny became a halfa. It was the start of so much, the next checkpoint of the most favorable future. It was a sure thing now, but Clockwork’s own emotions were wavering the day in question. Watching Danny head down into the lab with his two friends trailing behind him had him feeling sick. Yes, Danny would become a halfa, and someday he would become king, but now, this day, Danny was going to die.
Had there been another way, Clockwork would have considered it. Instead, all he could do was be present, watching invisibly as the child he’d helped raise was killed and born anew in the same breath. It was the most terrible thing he’d seen in recent memory.
It was difficult not to immediately rush to his side. To offer to teach him how to use the new abilities he’d just gain. He saw the fear on Danny’s face, and saw the cold air puff between his lips. Danny didn’t yet know what his ghost sense was. He didn’t know Clockwork was in the very same room with him. This was the start, and like always, Clockwork would be watching. He would do what he was able to keep the boy safe, and winced at the months it would take before Jazz caught on to what was happening.
Her brother becoming a halfa was not in the realm of possibilities that she was expecting but she would be his support, well versed by that point that their were both good and bad ghosts.
Someday, Clockwork might tell Danny how long he’d been in his life. Someday, Danny might forgive him for his rough half ghost beginning and letting things fall where they were meant to. He didn’t revel in Danny’s struggles, but those struggles were what would make him a fitting king.
Soon he’d get to introduce himself to Danny, and his first task for the boy would be a harrowing one, but he knew what Danny could do when he tried. Until then, Clockwork would watch the parade from above, his pride in the Fenton children immeasurable.
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bleeding blue | apocalypse au
part five
—other parts
pairing: Simon "Ghost" Riley x fem!reader
words: 3.5k
tags: death. blood. zombies of course. lowkey cannibalism implication. reader menstruates. single dad ghost. there will be sex but it isn't here yet. slow burn. enemies to lovers.
summary: After losing your companions, you run into a skull-masked man and his daughter. They are your last hope for survival.
a/n: I’m really going for the slow burn sorry
The days are difficult to keep track of.
You don’t have a calendar. Instead, you begin making mental markers of events in your head. 29 days since you left your old camp. 22 days since Ghost nearly killed you. 10 days since your face became the potential meal for another human.
10 days since Blue disobeyed her skull-faced father.
He hasn’t sent you away yet. You figure the two of you are in the clear. Still, you have found yourself avoiding his dark stare even more than before.
“Don’t worry,” Blue had told you the second night she came to gently anoint your arm. “I was careful about it. I memorized the way the tube was in the kit, and I’m putting it back exaaaactly the same. I used to sneak some extra Nutella from our storage and Ghost only caught me in the beginning. I’ve gotten better at sneaking past him, okay?”
All you could do was cling to the little piece of trust you shared with her. Ten days later, the memory of it has now congealed into a thick, baby-pink scar, just like the one beneath your ribs. The pain has softened to tenderness. You used your knife to clip off the stitches.
This morning, the usual soft-tailed alarm wakes you up. A bright grin hovers above your head.
“Special day today,” Blue announces. Lazily, you rub your eyes. Yesterday was the first day you managed to kill a deer. You hung the meat up over a fire to smoke it for preservation. For once, the feeling of a stuffed stomach sang you into a deep sleep.
“What?” you ask, blinking away your slumber as you touch a hand over your abdomen. You can still feel where last night’s dinner is nestled.
“It’s my birthday,” she says. Grim flutters over your arm as she sits down beside you. Naturally, your legs move over to allow just the right amount of space for her. You’ve grown used to this guest in your shed.
“Your birthday?” You sit up. “What day is it today?”
“February 19th,” she recites. Of course. Ghost probably keeps track.
Then, her hand slips something into your palm. Something small, hard, and wrapped in plastic. You flicker your gaze to the smuggled good— a little sweet. When you look back at her, she sheepishly reveals to you the other three she has in her pocket.
“I’m only allowed to have four on my birthday,” she explains. “Thought you would want one to celebrate.”
“Thanks.” Your lips etch up at the corner. “Happy birthday.”
Even tiny offerings like this can make you nervous. They aren’t nearly as lucrative or important as antiseptic. In the hall where their bedroom doors and the bathroom are, you’ve spotted a fourth door at the end where they dip in and out for stored food. They have nonperishables. Their rabbits will always breed. Ghost can always hunt. But pharmacies won’t restock their shelves.
Still, you instinctively crane your head forward to peek out the door of your shed, searching for her father’s shadow.
Blue notices.
“He’s making breakfast. Don’t worry.” Then, under her breath, she adds: “Besides... it is mine to give if I want to."
You pop it in your mouth.
“Fuck— wow,” you sputter, and Blue giggles. The sugary taste is even stranger than the fullness in your gut. You can’t remember the last time you ate anything that wasn’t stale, foraged, or killed.
Here in the small shed, the two of you suck on your candies for a quiet moment before breakfast. The pretty snow outside has melted, but the Northern air remains cold and bleak. Bare soil and scattered twigs lay under your boots when you finally head to the cabin.
Despite your fat dinner from the night before, you indulge in an equally heavy breakfast of smoked venison. Your body still has some catching up to do. Ghost and Blue’s breakfast consists of Grim’s sister, apparently. She gives at least three apologies to him for it.
You’re not sure what Ghost manages for Blue’s birthday. You can’t recall how you celebrated that last birthday of yours - the one before the world ended. You never bothered celebrating anymore of them after that even though Paul used to keep his own calendar going. It seemed pointless. When your nephew was still alive, you tried putting effort into his. You’d find a twig for each of his years and stick them in the ground for him to blow the flames off of. You would make a little crown for him out of flowers. It was enough to make his eyes light up, even if only for a day.
But he died at age seven. Then, there were no more birthdays celebrated.
To your surprise, Ghost fishes something out of his pocket after breakfast. Metal that clanks and sings. Car keys.
So it really is a vehicle back there?
“C’mon, kid. Get your coat.”
“She’s coming, too, right?” Blue’s eyes flicker to you as she stands from the table.
Come where?
The masked joints of Ghost’s jaw clench with a spark of irritation. Avoiding him has been easy. He usually doesn’t talk to you, anyway. Your interactions have been kept to asking him for rags and soap to bathe with and him watching you braid Blue’s hair.
But now he gives you a brief stare and mumbles plainly, “Thought we might just put her in the trench while we’re gone.”
An audible, sharp breath floods your ribs.
“He doesn’t mean that,” Blue is quick to assure you with an uneasy smile before she gives him a pointed look. “It is my birthday and I am inviting her, okay?”
This is one where Ghost doesn’t put up a fight.
So it is today that you see what resides under the tarp behind their cabin. Ghost lifts it back to reveal a faded-black pickup truck. Your irritation from the sight only swells when you see that there is a kayak in the truck bed. Another part of his emergency plan, maybe? What doesn't he have?
Ghost opens the door, lowers the front seat, and sends you to the back. Blue gets the passenger side.
As her father wraps around the hood to get in, Blue looks over the seat and chimes, “Cool, huh?” You nod. “It’s only for emergencies, you know. But we go for little drives sometimes so it doesn’t stop working. Right, Ghost?”
He hums a low response as he sits in front of the wheel.
You touch your hands over the cracked leather seat beneath you. The inside smells like faded bourbon and ash. You notice an old cigarette tray in the front. This feels like a snapshot of Ghost’s old life, perhaps the one outside of the military. Maybe whatever version of him used to drive this car actually used his real name and wore an exposed face. Maybe he used to put an infant-version of Blue in a carseat in the back. For the first time, a small wonder of who else could have sat in here with the two of them - the parent that is missing - touches your brain, but you are quick to swallow it. That history isn’t worth the risk that could come from asking about it.
The engine awakens with a few coughs and you notice that the reader on the dash indicates that the fuel is just below full. What you are finally willing to pry about forms as a question under your breath.
“How did you get all this?”
Dark eyes flick to meet your gaze in the rear-view mirror. Swallowing, you hold his stare for only a moment before Blue is the one to answer you.
“Ghost knew about everything before the rest of the world,” she explains, furrowing her brows. “I thought I told you that already.”
“What?”
“You know,” she waves a hand around, “Military? Special Air Service? He knew.”
You didn’t even think of that. The rest of you knew nothing and suffered. Ghost knew ahead of time and could prepare.
He stops her from continuing by giving a gentle nudge to her shoulder. “Gonna pick out the music or am I doing it?”
You shake away the thoughts. Your ears perk up. Music?
“No.” Blue instantly flies her hands to the glove compartment where a small stash of CDs slips out. “I’m picking! It’s my birthday.”
It is almost dizzying, how unfamiliar this is to you. Adrenaline, hunger, grief— you understand these well. Listening to the CD that Blue pops in the tray as Ghost starts driving? This is weird. You don’t know what it is you feel. Loud drums and sharp guitars fill your ears along with the hum of the truck. The tires slowly snap over twigs on the ground. Blue merrily sings - screams, even - along to the song. Can you remember it? You search through the crevices of your brain. Of course. Nirvana.
It is a short drive.
Ghost’s gloved hand lazily steers the wheel through a routine path in the trees. He must follow the same one every time they do this. Blue rolls down the window and sticks her head out so the light wind can dance with her hair.
She feels safer to look at. She always does. She is the one who wants you here; he probably brought you only because he doesn’t trust you alone at their camp. So your eyes settle on Blue. Your fingers thoughtlessly slip under the sleeve of your shirt and pick at the healed scar on your arm. You watch her beam and act like the child she is. You listen to the music. You don’t know when you will ever get the chance to again.
The drive only lasts two songs. Ghost may have to get the car going a bit, but he is not willing to waste precious fuel. He goes in a few circles before driving to the pond. He helps Blue out. He almost forgets to lower the seat for you. Blue has to remind him with a hissed "Dad" and a tug on his hand.
The pond is quiet and all liquid now. There hasn’t been another growling visitor here since the one Ghost killed. You’re not sure what he did with the corpse of the man, but it was gone shortly after that day.
Ghost lifts Blue up into the truck bed, right next to the kayak. You find a tree stump to sit on a few paces away. He slips out two cans from his pockets— you squint and make out tuna and peaches. They must be favorites of hers saved for her birthday because she eats them all by herself.
“Eleven, huh?” Ghost leans against the side of the truck as she snacks. He pretends you aren’t there. He ruffles her hair. “Big year, kid. Feel different?”
“Not yet,” she says with her mouth full. Her porcelain cheeks flush as she looks at him. “Did you feel different at eleven?”
“Can’t remember,” Ghost mutters lowly, but you can hear him. You try not to look. “Long time ago.”
"Soooo long ago, huh?" she smirks. "Old man."
"Come off it," he says, but amusement hides under the gravel of his voice. "Don't call me that."
"Why?" she pokes further. There is room for it here. He is not scolding. Her voice turns hushed. "Do I have to respect my elders?"
"Bloody fuckin' hell," he groans.
He makes a move to take away her canned peaches. Blue holds it up and scoots away. Ghost could still get it if he wanted. He's not really trying.
You decide to look at the dirt before either of them catches your staring, but when their bickering ceases, Blue points a question in your direction.
“Hey... Do you remember being eleven?”
You lift your head up, suddenly thrown off. You feel two sets of eyes on you now as your brain searches for some answer, knowing well that it is one Ghost will hear.
You can barely remember what Nirvana sounds like. Age eleven? The memories are stored in fragments under all the mud. Your old school. Your sister. Your friends. That house in Norbury. The yard where you stopped playing in the dirt because you suddenly grew interested in boys, instead. You try to fit all the pieces together, but it doesn't feel like you who lived through it all.
“I remember…” you rub one hand over the dry knuckles of the other and fight the brief moisture that threatens your eyes. You are not willing for Ghost to see a tear slip.
“I do remember feeling different.”
That is all you say.
After some more of their banter and the quick drive back to camp, Blue stands up against the tree she likes to play in. You never noticed until now, but there are little knife marks in the bark— five of them. Ghost adds another. It is quite a bit higher than the previous year’s.
Along with her dinner that night, she sucks on the last two of her candies. You try to be present as she talks about the memories from her past five birthdays— all basically the same as today. She doesn’t mention any of the ones from her previous life.
But your mind drifts as you listen.
You keep thinking about Ghost’s truck. You think of all he has— their medicine, changes of clothes, guns and ammo. You don’t have these things. At your old camp, you had the bare necessities. Paul managed to get the most commonly-used antibiotics and some alcohol to clean wounds. But you didn’t have time to grab any of it during your escape.
You don’t know how long you will be here and you don’t know what the future looks like for you, but you know you can’t risk Blue sneaking you more medicine. Ghost might not notice a little ointment missing from a tube, but too much and he will. God forbid you ever need antibiotics. Taking pills from a bottle? He definitely has the exact numbers memorized.
It is not until his cockney accent rumbles low that you are grounded back in the present.
“Want your gift now?”
When Blue eagerly nods, he stands from the table and leaves, only to return with something in his hand covered in a scrap of cloth. Another bout of curiosity finds you. What could he possibly gift her? You watch Blue lift up the cloth to reveal a handmade, wooden figurine.
She exhales a smile. She doesn’t seem too surprised by it but is still elated, taking the gift in her hands and smoothing her finger over the whittled shape.
It’s a squirrel. You can see it better as she looks over it. A squirrel with two circles carved around the eyes. A pair of glasses?
“He’s perfect,” she tells her behemoth of a father, who bends down to her level and strokes her hair.
“Yeah?”
“Yeah,” she says. “Just how I imagined him.”
This is the final tradition you learn about today. The wooden squirrel is part of a collection, she explains. You’ve never been inside Blue’s bedroom. You are not allowed, of course. But she shyly admits that she has her own village going on in there and that more wooden residents are added on each birthday and holiday. She seems hesitant to tell you too much about them in the same way she was hesitant for you to hear Ghost call her Baby Blue.
The eleven-year-old brave enough to rebel nibbles her lip as she speaks, clutching her gift.
“Hey, it’s okay,” you find yourself quietly saying, looking between her and Ghost. “We all have things we like to keep to ourselves. You don't have to tell me, you know."
You feel his thick presence, the way he seems to stifle the room even in the lull of these moments where the reality of your stay here can be ignored. You give a small smile, just for her, anyway.
“It sounds cool, though," you add.
She blushes and slips away to put the squirrel in her room.
And then the last piece of Blue’s birthday is not a tradition. Instead, it is all you have to offer to this girl who has your back.
You do her hair.
You try for something a little different this time.
Half-up with two smaller braids that join together.
As usual, dark eyes watch from the couch.
That whole deer feeds you for more than just a week.
Despite this, you decide to go out into the forest and practice your aim. You recall how your failed shot at that man’s head resulted in snarling teeth snapping at your flesh - you want to get better. Each day, a new tree stands victim to your practicing arrows. You have to carve some more of them with the knife Ghost gave you to replace the ones that break from penetrating the tough bark.
You feel like you own more strength now.
A pillow to sleep on, bountiful protein, and properly healed wounds have offered some back to you. You don’t feel so fatigued. Your thoughts seem easier to find. You have a new marker to make the days feel less blurred together— Blue's birthday.
It must be March 1st today, then.
When you decide your practice is done for the afternoon, you make it back to camp. You ask Ghost for a wash rag to clear your skin of the cold sweat that has collected. He is preoccupied with a game of Monopoly with Blue but begrudgingly retrieves one for you. Though, it is thoughtlessly tossed to your face. Blue apologizes on his behalf.
You don’t have it in you to care.
Because today is the first day your gaze doesn't pry away when it finds your reflection in the mirror. The face that stares back at you - the one he threw the rag at - is one you think you can recognize. The cheekbones do not stand as angular and lean. Your lips have some color and fat to them. Not as much as Blue’s rosy pink ones, but some.
It is also the first day that an old friend returns to you. When you glide the damp rag between your thighs, blood collects. Except for this time, it is not incited by a caltrop or knife. You don’t panic with the thought of how it will be patched up and stitched and kept clean. Rather, you almost groan with the realization of what you need to ask of Ghost.
The hunger and stress of fleeing led you to almost forget about it. Your period is definitely weeks late, but now it is here again. Perhaps, another piece of health your body has been given back.
With wet hair and your dirty clothes shucked back on, you find the two of them still on the rug. They have moved on to Battleship.
“Ghost.”
Both of them look at you. Shifting your weight from foot to foot, you dig your nails into your palms.
“I need another rag.”
“What for?” His voice arrives in an edged drawl. “Just bathed, didn’t you?”
“Are you okay?” chimes Blue, frowning. She sits up.
“I’m fine,” you say slowly. “I just need another one.” You meet the clouded eyes you prefer to renounce, set behind the more frightening skull this time. “A dry one.”
Although Blue’s nose remains scrunched in confusion, he seems to understand.
Wordlessly, Ghost finds you another. This rag is not offered to your face. Instead, he murmurs a “here” under his breath and gives it to your hands. In this brief exchange, you detect the familiar heat that is emitted from his brawny form. It is so different from the bucket of cold water you just bathed with.
Despite the enigma and tension, there is some of Ghost you understand. He is willing to give you small things. A rag for your period. A little bit of thread for your stitches. An outdoor shed to sleep in. A pillow and blanket they don’t even use.
What he is not willing to give is anything that he deems too valuable, and anything he decides poses a risk. His trust included.
This is why you must find a way to take care of yourself. So it is today, with your body showing you signs of its regained health, that you decide you finally need to figure out the journey to get supplies of your own.
taglist: @savagemistresss @morganvoorhees @dinsverdika @cated18 @lolszass @jeswiii @all-good-things-have-an-ending @alternatealt @uvoiid @underatreedrinkingtea @ramadiiiisme @crissteetee67 @lexi-zsy09 @spikespiegell @littlezarp @rebel-soldat @4headkissess @mckenzieriley69 @moxxiestar @palomaxaxaxa @msjaeger @galacticstxrdust @anubiseqq @l-0-v-3-r-z @kakashiislut @a-queen-blr @random0lover @hehatesmati @ghost-with-a-teacup @konigbabe
#simon ghost riley x you#simon riley x reader#simon ghost riley#cod#ghost#simon ghost riley x reader#call of duty#fanfiction#zombies
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So Long, London
Harry Styles x fem!reader
Summery: Years and years of love and affection couldn’t amount to the floods of tears that flooded the once prosperous city you danced through.
From a young age I’ve always wondered what death feels like. Those who have experienced it aren’t here to tell us their stories. Would it hurt, could I feel it clenching my heart in its dark grasp or would I sigh in my sleep and let the darkness take me with no sense of slipping away.
As I walk down the old roads I used to dance on, I understand the concept of it better now that my heals hit the concrete like bullet shells falling to the floor. The vibrant red brick seemed duller nowadays, moss covering the once new white concrete holding all these places I often visited together.
To me, death wasn’t the last breath of air in my lungs escaping, it wasn’t the melodic beeping of the machines beside me in a hospital room, but something that drowned me from the inside out.
His smell is stuck to all my clothes, his smile carved into the back of my phone case from the polaroids of us I kept for keepsakes for years. I can still hear his voice, it’s all around me in the people passing by on the street, the same accent fresh in my mind, his last words knives in my heart.
He swore that he loved me, but where were the clues? I died at the alter waiting for the proof. His green eyes flashing with mischief as he lied to my heart to keep me close, his bluest days tainting my mind, my endless sympathy forcing me to stay even with the gun stuck against the back of my head.
I don’t remember the end, only the feeling of my spine splitting under the weight of his body as I pulled him in closer each time he slipped out of reach. Only the fading of his smile as I gave up trying to make him laugh after so many failed attempts. The heart was dead, I stopped CPR after all, there was no use. Our love was long dead, lying buried with our faltering spirits. He killed me when he killed our relationship, two graves dug with one gun.
He swore that he loved me, and his face looked just like the man who said it to me and meant it, so I believed him as he led me down the street with his hands in his pockets.
For so long, I loved london. My clothes out of place, made for the states and carried across to my home where he laid in the dimming light of our sunroom. For so long, I held him and guided his heart to mine, I let him take parts of me I’ll never be able to rebuild. And I’m angry that I gave him all that youth for free, but I’m just mad as hell because I loved this place.
And he claims I abandoned the ship, he writes it in the songs on his albums and sends the troops to my front door, breaking down the home I just rebuilt but they’ll never know how I was going down with it, my white knuckle dying grip holding onto his quiet resentment.
But truly how much sad did he think I had left in me to give? How much tragedy? Just how low did he believe I could before I would self-implode, waiting for his grays and blacks to turn back into the vibrancy I fell so deeply in love with.
And as I walk these streets, his scent fading from my clothes, I can feel the color coming back to my face, and I feel bad for anyone who stops me on the streets and asks me to grab a coffee, because the hole in my heart is black and it’s pulling in anything in it’s path, it’s destructive and dangerous and it acts a lot like him.
He’ll find someone, my stitches will come undone and my heart will die as I lay silently on the empty floor of the apartment I never thought I would see again.
I have to leave, I know it even in this post-death mist. I am a ghost walking down these once euphoric streets we walked hand in hand across. I can’t let myself rot like he did, I won’t let myself get left behind like he intended.
And I’m just mad as hell because I once loved this place.
But for now, it’s so long, london.
#harry styles x reader#harry styles x y/n#harry styles x you#harry styles imagine#harry styles fluff#harry styles angst#harry x reader#harrystyles#harry styles
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Interviews for New Beginnings: Part 7
Alfie Solomons x Fem! Reader, 3.7k words, WARNINGS: mentions of blood, injury, stitches, cursing, violence
Guys... is it weird that I'm crying a little? This is the first series that I've ever done. This is from the first post i ever made on this blog, and I feel like I've met so many amazing people from this series. I did spend a good amount of time thinking of a good way to close this series, and I can only hope that I made it good enough for you guys. My heart breaks leaving these two behind, but I don't think this is the end for them. I do see myself writing some one shots or other things for these two. But regardless... I love you guys so much. I hope you enjoy this final installment. Sending all of my love always. - Mo
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Any soldier worth his salt knows what getting shot feels like. Either through their own experience or staying beside their brother. They all say the same thing.
A hard punch.
The immediate all encompassing burn.
Your body feels like you’ve been run over by a train.
Your body on fire.
Air sliding through your lungs like glass shards.
Alfred Solomons has been shot five times.
Six counting this one. The first time was when he was 14, and he was caught snatching sweets from the corner store, and the old store owner with the bad eyes shot at Alfie, grazing his left thigh. The other four times were in the war. Foot and shoulder and once in the lower back, which is still troubling him to this day. All of those were the same. Rage inducing. The bloodlust burning brighter than the flame of the pain. In hours he was fixed up. Rusty scalpels and pliers pulling out the shrapnel as he numbed the cuts by drowning in drink and breaking metal bars with his teeth.
This one was different. The burn and hit was memorable. As memorable as a betrayal. But the bloodlust that got him through that burn wasn’t present. Like warm oil being poured over his mind and body he felt the exhaustion of the tears settle over him. And look. An angel has come to take him to stay with the forefathers. Wow… what a mercy… the angel looks so much like you. Sounds and smells just like you. Like lavender. Like spilled ink and fresh paper. So soft and tender. What a mercy God has given him. That the angel to walk him to the other side would look like the only woman he has ever truly loved.
Tommy and Ollie rush over, as John pulls you away from Alfie's body. You screamed and kicked, trying to get free from John's grasp. "It's alright love it's alright. They're going to fix him up I promise love! He's gonna be ok!" John tried to calm you but you were inconsolable as you saw Alfie's lifeless body being carried out. It takes four men to life his large and hardened body off the ground, a pool of garnet the only sign of the King of Camden’s presence.
John’s attempts at soothing and assurance are met with deaf ears. What point is there for calm and rationalization when Alfie might be leaving you. What point was there to breathe, if breathing meant prolonging a life on Earth that may not have Alfie. Your mind was blank. And you body could do the only rational thing it could do. Wail and preparation for the certain mourning to come.
With a hard smack across your face you suddenly cease, as you see Polly's face in front of you, "Enough! This is not the time for screaming!"
Your lip quivered, never had you been smacked like that before. With a wave, Polly dismissed John to assist Ollie and Tommy, and took you to a chair to sit. Polly wiped your tears, "I am sorry for slapping you, usually I don't smack friends till we are at least 3 months acquainted, but I felt you needed it and I'm sure our friendship will survive. But you need to pull it together darling."
You nodded. It was needed. Even if your ego was now bruised. Polly sighed, "I know you're scared. We all have been in your shoes. But you cannot lose yourself. We need to be there for our men. Yes?"
You nodded. Your man. Your Alfie. Polly stroked your face, "He will live.”
“How can you be sure?”
Polly gives you an embarrassed look, attempting to push up the corner of her mouth, “They always do darling. Try as they might to die, they somehow always make it out. I think God may think these episodes are more of a punishment than Hell.”
A defeated chuckle pushes out of your chest. Alfie would say something as dark as that. And for some reason that makes you feel better. Makes you feel more centered. Polly grabs a bottle from the ground and takes a long swig before passing it to you. You take a longer one, pushing to suppress the sick face you make. Polly’s eyes are glassy, looking at your young face. Thinking and considering how you would handle this. Handle this life. Because if her intuition was right, and it always was, this wouldn’t be the last time you experienced this. This wouldn’t deter you from being next to Alfie. As if Alfie would ever let you go.
Polly stood up suddenly, looking in the gilded mirror on the wall nearest to her, smoothing her dress and repinning those loose curls that fell out in the fray. She holds out a regal hand to you, “C’mon dear. I know where they’d be taking him. He’ll want you near I wager.”
You nod and stand up, not making anymore to wipe the blood or tears off your face. Though it doesn’t stop Polly from straightening out your slip and placing your hair more akin to how you came in. As you begin walking to the door, you see a familiar glint in the shadows and wet of the floor.
Alfie’s signet ring. Small. Small for Alfie at least. You knew him to wear it on his left pinky amongst the rest of his rings. Pure gold, with a royal S engraved onto its front with ivy and thorns. You pause to pick it up and hold it in your hand. It must have slipped off in the scuffle and removal of his body. Polly looked behind herself to see what had made you stop, and marveled at how you had even caught it, “How did you even see that?”
“I suppose I’m just good at looking for his things.”
Polly smiled softly, a familiar ache in her chest reappearing. “Well make sure you don’t drop it hmm? I’m sure he’ll want it back.”
You nod, immediately slipping it onto your left ring finger. You knew innately it wouldn’t budge. It was a perfect fit.
The Shelby family had a trusted physician who routinely dealt with these sort of things. Stand. Cuts. Gunshots. The occasional childhood scrape or concussion when the children needed a good scolding and scare to not be stupid. Dr. Hendricks had been the Shelby physician for many many years. So when he was called for ‘a slight emergency’ he knew that he needed to make immediate preparations.
The Shelby boys and Ollie bashed in the ornate door of Dr. Hendricks’ door, and were immediately met with Mrs. Hendricks pushing the men into the dining room. Already prepped and cold with sterile air Dr. Hendricks directed further with a low and booming voice, “Right here Mr. Shelby, hurry, can’t risk anymore blood loss.”
Alfie was pale, but was still breathing and choking out small groans. Mrs. Hendricks worked diligently alongside the Doctor, who asked questions and made conversation with the men, trying to bring down the tension. “Mr. Solomons boys? Why the sudden fit of charity.”
Mrs. Hendricks hushed him and his sore mouth. But his cheek was what made him so beloved by the Shelbys. Even in what seemed like dire moments, the good Doctor was never one to shy away from a joke or jab. Suddenly Alfie groaned under the crowd. Tommy looked down, shocked Alfie was awake now. Alfie, through the pain and blood, groaned and moaned your name through his teeth. Tommy grabbed Alfie’s arm, “Alright Alfie alright. She’s coming. Took a little bit of a hit didn’t ya old man? You stay awake now for her yeah? Can’t let the girl see ya like this.”
The pain was a hell of a drug, and Alfie could only slur out, “She ok? That little viper make it out ok?”
Tommy could only smile. Even with all the blood loss he was still himself. “Yeah Alfie. Yeah she’s alright. A right harpy screaming out for ya. Now you gotta get fixed up for when she comes back alright?”
Alfie nodded, slipping in and out as the final fragments were being removed, “As soon as im stitched up… I’m killing every Sabini I see. Then I’m fuckin marrying her… you hear me?”
Tommy smiled as Dr. Hendricks scoffed, “I hear you Alfie. I know you will.”
Alfie passed back out on the table. Dr. Hendricks nodded at Tommy and Ollie, “He’ll be alright. Nearly hit some vital organs but it’s alright. Have a nasty scar though, I’m sure he won’t mind. He’ll probably sleep for the rest of the night and into the morning. You all stay here, let’s keep an eye on him yeah? Mrs. Hendricks? Would you call the kitchen to make some supper for the gentlemen here and ladies to come?”
Mrs. Hendricks and the kitchen must have indeed been witches in a past life, or in the present. because there was no logical reason that such a warm and delectable feast could have been prepared so quickly. Soup and bread and cold chicken brought up with strong tea and coffee. When John Shelby asked for gin, his head was swiftly smacked by the effervescent Mrs. Hendricks, who quickly reminded him that she knew where all his sore spots were.
Polly and you arrived soon enough, and were embraced by the Doctor and his wife. The Shelby men stood up quickly, nodding to you in respect. Ollie shucked off his coat to drape over you. It was warm in the house. But your shivering wasn’t for cold.
Before you could look to Dr. Hendricks, he gruffed out from behind his thick salt and pepper beard, “No need to fret Miss. He was a model surgical patient. Nearly slept through the entire thing. In fact that stomach of his is a model for good stitchin’ would you like to see?”
Before Dr. Hendricks could pull back the clean and crisp cotton laid over Alfie’s bare torso to show you his no doubt fantastic work, Mrs. Hendricks stopped with a cherub like hand on his thick arm, “My dear, I don’t think the lady would feel keen on seeing her darling cut and stitched. Maybe some other time yes? Why don’t we let her have time alone with Mr. Solomons? It’s late. I think we should all retire yes?”
With a look around the room everyone nodded, giving their best to you and expressing incredible thank to the Doctor and Mrs. Hendricks. The Shelby boys tipped their hats to you as they filed out. Ollie nodded to you, assuring you that he’d alert your family of your whereabouts. Polly gave you a motherly hug, kissing the tip of your head, “Chin up dear. Must be strong when he wakes up. I’ll stop by tomorrow.”
As soon as you came in, you were left alone. With the soft voice of Mrs. Hendricks pulling out of your numb trance. “Let’s get you cleaned up dear. Get you in something a little more comfortable. My daughter was about your size, and I have some of her clothes in her old room.”
Like a child who just woke out of a long slumber, you were lead down the short hallways littered with photos and paintings and certificates to the now guest room of the Hendricks home. Once she realized you had gone nearly despondent, Mrs. Hendricks helped you out of your stained dress, and into a soft cream colored night gown, with pink ribbon threaded through the top. She called one of the maids bring up hot water to wash the makeup, dirt, and dried crusted blood off your face and arms. Your dress was taken to be washed, and Mrs. Hendricks un-pinned your hair, getting it loose and out of your face. She sat you back in the make shift hospital room once she assured your were comfortable and clean. She poured tea for you. Something strong. Something hot. Your thumb rubbed across the delicate ridges on the cup, incredibly interested in the greenery hand painted on the china. Unable to face the near stillness of Alfie on a table.
“You love him don’t you?”
You feel those tears welling up in your eyes. Unable to speak any louder than a whisper, you confess, “Very much.”
She smiled softly, placing her thick soft hands on your knee, “He called for you.”
You looked up, “Did he?”
A soft chuckle left her, and she sounded so much like your mother, “He did. That’s the thing about these military gangster men yeah? Big and strong and tough. Till they get hurt. Then they cry for their women. I think we are the only things that help.”
You nodded, a pained smile sneaking on your lips, hands gingerly slipping into his rough hands. So much gentler now in sleep. Your eyes never leave his hands as you ask, “How do you stand it? How does any woman stand it?”
Mrs. Hendricks just sighs. Remembering the old days with her dear husband James. Back when he running with the Lee boys. When the medical practice wasn’t just a medical practice. There was a reason he was so good at stitching people up. Mrs. Hendricks leaned back in the chair, “By trusting them. By scolding them. Telling them off when they’re being outrageous. By standing by them. Because we know even a little bit of time with them is better than a life without them.”
Mrs. Hendricks then stands up, “It’s nearly 2 sweetie. Why don’t you take Jeanine’s old room? He’ll be there when you wake up.”
You shake your head vehemently, “No. Thank you Mrs. Hendricks. Thank you very much for your hospitality. But I want to be here when he wakes. I just… I don’t want to leave him here alone.”
She softly smiles, a tear slipping by, “Alright sweetie. That’s fine. I’ll bring you a couple blankets then. And a pillow just in case. Feel free to walk around the house if you need. Kitchen is all yours.”
You’re not sure how long you stayed awake after the gifts of the blankets were delivered. But you never laid down. You sat on one of the chairs placed on the dining room table where Alfie laid. You brushed the hair out of his face and ran your fingers over his beard and scars. You rattled off the notes you had for the gaming club. You whispered to him about the set up, the prices, and how he should really be more affable with the customers. But mostly you whispered how much you loved him. How much you wished you had told him sooner. How much he scared you doing that. You chastised him for putting himself in such grave danger. And for every insult and admonishment you kissed a knuckle and scar. Every kiss an oath that you would not leave him. Not willingly. Not before death.
It was mid morning when Alfie’s gruff voice woke you, “Well ain’t you a picture.”
You gasped and sat up straight, hand clutching Alfie’s warm hand. His hand squeezed back tiredly, “Now I know I’m damned… but this sure don’t look like hell… too nice ain’t it. And I know the devil wouldn’t let an angel like you in hell with me.”
“Oh shut up you wretched old man please.”
You crashed your lips into his, relishing even in his slightly chapped lips as he chuckled into you. You feel him move under you, “Now now sweetheart easy on the old man. Don’t go popping my stitches now. Oh treacle why are you crying my dove? I’m here ain’t I? Old Alfie’s alright.”
You couldn’t help the tears falling, “I… Alfie I… you nearly died.”
He sneered, “Nah. The bastard barely nicked me. What about you eh? No bumps or bruises on you?”
You shook your head and sniffled. You knew you looked pathetic but you couldn’t bring yourself to care. Not when Alfie was alive. Not when you got to see him in the morning light like this. Alfie groaned as he pushed himself off the table. You moved to help him as he motioned you to settle. He got up, limped to another chair to sit down. The stitches held and he looked good. Still a bit pale but good. “Do you need water Alfie? Tea? I can call for breakfast.”
He shook his head, “No not yet love thank you… but come here.”
The wood floors were cold on your bare feet as you softly walked over to him. He stared up at you, as he tugged on your nightgown, signaling you to sit. Carefully… oh so carefully you sat on his lap, legs swinging over the side, wrapping your arms around his neck. Alfie leaned back with a sigh, bringing you closer, “This is all I need treacle. Just need you near.”
Stroking the scar on his jaw you whispered, “I was so scared Alfie… I thought we’d lost you.”
With half lidded eyes Alfie stared at you. Your sweet lips and teary eyes. A picture of beauty and serenity. The rough callouses on his hands caressed up and down your bare arms, “You’re never going to lose me dearie. I’ll always be here. No matter what. You know why?”
The way his eyes become like fire makes your heart beat faster, “Why?”
He brings your hand to his heart. His own hand dwarfing yours as you feel the strong and steady heartbeat in his chest, “Because this sweetheart… this belongs to you… No matter what happens… in this life the next one and every other fuckin one… I belong to you. You ain’t ever got to worry about what might happen because I’m with you. You got it?”
You smile, nodding, feeling as though your heart is going to burst, “My heart belongs to you Alfie.”
“You don’t have to say it back treacle.”
“I do if it’s the truth.”
A blush rose in his cheeks, barely concealed by his beard and the smile that broke out on his face. “Well… treacle… if that’s the case… I wanted to ask you in a more romantic way…”
“Alfred Solomons…”
“But this seems like a good time…”
“I swear if you dare ask me…”
“And we never know what’s to happen next…”
“Alfred Solomons I am in a night gown!”
“Woman if you do not be quiet I am trying to ask you to be my wife!!”
Your hand flies to your mouth in utter shock. Alfie’s brows are furrowed but he’s trying to keep the smile off his face, “Marry me sweetheart. Be my wife please. I can’t promise that I’ll suddenly be a tame boy but I can promise you that I love you more than any other man ever could love a woman. You can scold me all you want and I’ll never be cross with you.”
He watches you bite your lip and think, and he thinks he’s died and gone to heaven for real this time. You cheekily smile, “I do like it when you’re cross though.”
A dark glint flashes in his eyes as he pulls you in for a bruising kiss, which you all too willingly return. When you come up for air he asks you again, “Is that a yes? You going to be my wife?”
You laugh, “Yes Alfie. Always yes.”
Laughs escaped out of you in a stampede as he presses a million prickly kisses to your cheeks. He mumbles out onto your face, "I need to get you a ring. We'll go to the shop yeah? You pick out any ring you like, I'll resize whatever I need to. Fuck we'll design it for ya yeah?"
You push him back from his assault on your face and hold up your left hand, The one holding his signet, "One could say I have one already. You dropped it on the way over."
Alfie grabbed your wrist to inspect your hand. When he finally recognized the ring and noticed his own was missing, his laughter roared out, "Fuck me you are always so prepared. Always two steps ahead of me ain't ya? Well alright treacle. There's your engagement ring for now. But on our wedding day, I'm giving you a dazzling rock you hear me?"
You laugh again as he rants and raves for his idea of a ring for you. Knowing inside that it didn't matter what he gave you. If he gave you a ring at all. All that mattered was that he was here. He was yours. And you are is.
6 Months Later
The slow sea air dances in through the open window, sending the gossamer curtains floating around you. The radio scratches out something slow and tantalizing from America, the notes sending shivers down your spine. You're dizzy from the night you've had. The butterflies and bubbly drinks and spinning along the floor. You can't believe it happened. You can't believe your wedding day arrived. You feel as though you're amongst the clouds. The only thing keeping you anchored to the Earth is Alfie's grip on your white satin slip as you sway against him to the music.
Late at night. Early morning. Too much work to tell. But it was the first time in a week that you've been able to be alone with Alfie. Your husband.
"What're you thinking about my love?"
You press your face against his chest, shirt long discarded, "I'm just so happy. I didn't think I'd have this. That we'd have this.'
He hums as he presses his lips to your hair, smelling the perfume that had been brushed through your hair. "But we have it now. This is the greatest gift I've ever received. This is the life I've always dreamed of sweet."
You continue to dance with your husband until your bodies couldn't take it anymore. Soon enough he carried you to bed, quickly drifting off into deep sleep in Alfie's arms. In the morning you would wake not as a secretary. Not as a scared girl. Not as someone who felt as she didn't belong. But as Alfie's wife. Alfie's partner. A confidant. A capable woman running a business alongside her best friend. Tomorrow you would wake up excited for this next part of your life. Waking up to a new beginning.
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#alfie solomons#alfie solomons x reader#alfie solomons x you#alfie solomons fanfic#alfie solomons x y/n#peaky blinder fanfic#peaky blinders#tom hardy#Interviews for New Beginnings
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May you do some rottmnt boys headcannons for how they would react if Draxum tells them that they were y/n pet turtle before he stole and mutated them
It feels weird to write this with a romantic relationship so Im going to make this plutonic.
Raph Leo Donnie and Mikey finding out there are the readers old pet.
🐢 Anime boy backstory 🐢
Before Draxum started the mutation process, before he got ahold of Splinter, he needed some actual test subjects. You where an average New Yorker, you went to school and had a part time job and even had some unique pets that you where very attached to.
A alligator snapping turtle, a softshell, a red eared slider and a little box turtle. Draxum took interest in you because of your pets. Huginn and Muninn where sent out to find the perfect animals to mutate, that's when you where targeted by him.
On your way home from a trip to the vet to check up on your little guys health you got jumped. There was no possible way to get out but you where not about to leave your pets. You tried to run but after being picked up by Draxum's vines you got thrown against a wall, passing out. When you woke up your beloved pets where gone.
Raphael
★ He was the one who tracked you down after Draxum told him he once was someone's pet. It was kinda awkward expanding everything to you but after introducing himself you immediately pulled him in for a hug.
★ He kinda gets protective of you. But not from other people! Just in general, you took care of him when he was small. It's only fair that he does the same for you.
★ You and Raph end up being the responsible ones in there little family. The difference between getting in trouble with You instead of Raph is that you always lecture them for at least an hour. Also you get to say stuff like "I raised you better than this."
★ You get invited to every family movie night and everyone fights over who gets to sit next to you because you always cuddle with the closest person. turtle?
Leonardo
★ The reaction he had was similar to the one in in the gif above ⬆️. Yes, he was a plane old turtle once but it took him by surprise when it came out that he was a pet.
★ He's a total lap dog towards you, and only you. There's no getting out of it. He'd walk up to you and plop himself down on your lap and look up. You always give in and give him shell stitches. It's not weird if it's from you, okay!
★ His brothers collectively agree that you are now basically his babysitter. He gets into a fair amount of trouble, imagen Raphael saying "if you don't stop I'm telling y/n!" Or being the one who now yells at him after making bad discussions instead of raph.
Donatello
★ Blank face before quietly saying "What?" He knew that he was just a regular softshell but surprisingly he never thought about where he came from before getting mutated.
★ He gives you random tests on your knowledge of softshell turtles. Like you could be folding laundry and he'd just say "what is the proper temperature for a softshell turtle enclosure?" He does this to try and figure out if you where a good pet owner. He's come to the conclusion that you where a pretty good pet owner.
★ He wonders about what could've happened if Draxum never stole him and his brothers from you. Things could've turned out way differently, the thought comes back to him every once I awhile.
★ You know things about him that nobody else knows, like where he likes to be pet on his shell. But he refused to believe you without any proof. He is only slightly embarrassed when you demonstrate for him.
Michelangelo
★ *New parent acquired* He got really excited and asked a ton of questions. Did you get him from a pet store? How much did he cost? Do you still have his old habit??? He needs to know theses things!
★ If you have any photos of him and is brothers as regular turtles he's going to ask for copy's. Don't tell anyone but he's working on a family album in his free time.
★ You are now his older sister figure, no you aren't getting out of it. He comes to you when he needs help or has a problem with something or someone. He says that he inherited your kindness even though it doesn't work that way.
★He lowkey love's it when you pamper him like he is still your pet turtle. Doesn't matter if he's a big guy now! He wants chin scratches and lap pillows. Also he makes Draxum apologize for what he did to you.
#Leonardo#Donatello#Michelangelo#ROTTMNT#tmnt#raph x reader#leo x reader#Donnie x Reader#michelangelo x reader#donnie x reader#rottmnt donatello#donatello headcanons#leonardo x reader#leonardo headcanons#leonardo#Raphael#raphael x reader#Raphael headcannons#rotmnt mikey#mikey x reader#tmnt michelangelo
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Shortly after the two families had snarfed down an ungodly amount of food for dinner Don and Leon had ushered Lil Mikey back to the infirmary to check on his injuries. They would get to Raph after, but they figured it would be easier on everyone to disentangle Lil Mikey from the group first. Even throughout dinner Donnie had remained with his back stubbornly squished against Raph’s side, keeping wrapped up in the blanket and eating the scallop alfredo from a bowl held close to his chin. He seemed to be slowly doing better though, so Don made sure the others didn’t make a fuss over it, reminding them that their guests had all been through extremely stressful events recently. Something that had Leon understandably eager to get the bandages off Lil Mikey’s arm so he could see and assess the damage for himself.
“So Leatherhead was the one that took care of you? Not Don?” Leon asked, glancing over at Don as the latter patiently allowed Leon to take the lead once more.
“Yeah, Don and Leo took care of Donnie – wow that’s weird to say – while Leatherhead and Big Raph took care of me,” Lil Mikey confirmed, wincing slightly when Leon jostled his arm in a way that caused the damaged muscle to protest. He was used to Leon’s hands winding and unwinding bandaging on him, but the injury was still a new experience that made him a little anxious. Enough that the foot he had hanging off the edge of the table swayed slightly.
“Okay,” Leon accepted, figuring Raphael had done the same for Lil Mikey as he’d done for Raph and acted like a distraction. When he carefully peeled the gauze back from the wound Leon ended up giving a small gasp. “Ohmigosh, it’s tiny! I thought it would be a lot bigger. How big was the bullet?” he blurted, brushing his fingers over the stitches before looking at Don.
Don could only chuckle, feeling a little bad for the slight startle Lil Mikey had gotten from Leon’s gasp, and leaned closer for a moment to see for himself. “It was only a nine millimeter one. We were lucky and even though there wasn’t an exit wound he didn’t seem to have gotten too much damage. Leatherhead said it was pretty easy to remove the bullet, it was just the cleanup and disinfection that took the longest.”
Listening to the explanation, Leon’s expression lit in a way only his would when discussing this matter. Looking back at the injury, Leon could only grin. “Gosh, I don’t even think it’ll scar that much. You guys are amazing,” he gushed, taking a few more seconds to admire the work before he started to apply some more ointment and clean gauze.
“Yeah, Big Raph mentioned they got a lot of practice,” Lil Mikey recalled, swinging his foot slightly once again. “I’m glad the people we end up fighting don’t tend to use guns. This really hurt,” he admitted, trying to keep his voice light.
It was subtle for others, but obvious for Leon that Lil Mikey wasn’t completely okay from the event. The slightly tense strain in Lil Mikey’s tone was enough to get Leon to pause, looking up at Lil Mikey’s face. “...Does it still hurt a lot?” he asked, just to make sure Lil Mikey wasn’t trying to be tougher than he needed to.
“No!” Lil Mikey assured quickly. “No, it’s good. It doesn’t even hurt that much, especially with the meds.” He wasn’t lying. He still didn’t really notice the injury until he tried to move his arm too much. But he knew he needed to give a little more so that Leon didn’t think he was pushing it off. “I guess… I’m just still a little scared when I think about it.”
Admittedly it was a fair emotion to have towards being shot, but Leon ended up giving a small snort. “You open a portal to another dimension and completely wreck both your arms for months, but brush that off like it’s nothing. And then getting shot and having a tiny little stitched up wound scares you?” he asked, a little incredulously.
Lil Mikey’s eyes went a little wider at the comparison, having not thought about it before. “...Huh. I guess the fact that I was saving you instead of getting saved by others made a big difference. Every time I got worried about the portal scars I just had to remember that you were still home with us, and it was gonna be okay.”
The response from Lil Mikey caused Leon’s teasing smile to falter, threatening to fade completely but instead settling into one of concerned fondness. He wasn’t sure what to respond, and consequently ended up reacting to Don’s movement instead.
As soon as Leon mentioned Lil Mikey opening a portal to another dimension Don tried to subtly but quickly pull out his phone to text Raphael. Unfortunately for him it didn’t go unnoticed, and he reflexively gripped his phone harder and tried to pull away when Leon’s hand smacked over the top of it. Leon had been intending to take the phone away from Don, but after feeling his fingers clenching the device in an iron grip Leon changed tactics, meeting Don’s gaze with a now steely smile. “...Who ya texting, Old Don?” Leon asked, his voice venomously sweet.
Don realized his mistake immediately, and had to keep himself from groaning at his own stupidity. Of course the teens would be wary of them having possible outside communication. So while he didn’t exactly want Leon to see what he’d been typing, he relented and opened his palm to give up his phone. “See for yourself,” he accepted, hoping Leon didn’t take too much offense to his unfiltered phrasing.
The phone being so easily relinquished caught Leon slightly off guard, the smile faltering halfway as he studied Don for a moment, looking for anything to hint that he was trying to pull a fast one on him as soon as he looked away. He couldn’t find anything though, and eventually looked down at the phone screen. The recipient was labeled as Raphael, with a more candid picture of the elder turtle in the bubble. And the most recent message sent sooner than Don had intended read ‘Did you know Little Mikey got his scars from opening an interesting’.
Leon realized his hand probably caused an autofill for the last word before sending the message, but it didn’t stop him from frowning. As Raphael’s message came back, asking for clarification, Leon tossed the phone back to Don. “You’re all really annoying, you know that? Why do you keep butting in our business?”
“Leo,” Lil Mikey chided immediately, his voice lowered and slightly hissed. That wasn’t an appropriate tone to take with someone who had been more than helpful for them in his mind.
Don held his tongue for a moment, not able to blame Leon at all for his reaction and only feeling upset with himself for not considering his action might be taken wrong. He’d thought Leon was a little more comfortable with him than he apparently was. “... I’m sorry. We’re just curious, and want to help. But don’t want to push you guys too hard, so we’re trying to figure things out on our own so you don’t have to tell us about it,” Don admitted, a little hesitant but hoping honesty would help instead of causing more problems in this case.
“You ever think I don’t want to tell you about my life?” Leon snapped back.
“You don’t want to? Or you can’t?” Don asked, his voice gentle yet blunt as he noted Leon’s response coming from distress instead of anger. And as Don suspected, the call out to Leon’s smothered discord caused him to freeze for a moment, eyes widening slightly and losing focus as he reflexively shut down in avoidance. Making a stilling motion to Lil Mikey as the lad quickly started to respond, Don waved his hand gently in Leon’s vision to get his attention without touching him. Once Leon’s eyes flicked back to him, Don carefully gripped Leon’s palm with one hand while the other cupped against Leon’s jaw. “I know you’re probably a little scared right now, but can you just focus on my hands for a moment? Let me know if they’re too warm, or if I’m holding you too hard. Also we used a different ointment this time for Lil Mikey. Can you smell the difference? This one smells more herbal than synthetic, yeah?”
Leon didn’t verbally respond, but Don could see his mind quickly shifting to focus on what was requested of him. Eyes flicking down to their hands as his cheek pressed into Don’s other palm slightly. A deep breath as he tried to smell what Don was pointing out, let out in a shaky exhalation before another was drawn. All the while Lil Mikey watched in surprise, marveling at how easily Don addressed Leon.
A few more slow breaths in and out, and Leon sullenly looked up at Don, the annoyance from before having faded into sheepishness. “...How did you do that so easily?” he ended up asking, voice quiet.
Don could only give Leon a bittersweet smile, lowering his hand to Leon’s shoulder and giving the other a squeeze when he saw Leon wasn’t quite ready to be without physical comfort yet. “My Leo…,” Don started, then caught himself and reorganized his thoughts to explain better. “When we were teenagers, Leo got in a fight that almost cost his life. And while protecting him the rest of us almost got caught in a gas leak explosion. He ended up a little different for awhile because of it, and we had to get some help from Master Splinter’s old friend because none of us knew how to address the trauma he held. And as we got older we eventually learned what had happened, and how to help. It’s come in handy for all of us, even to this day.” The explanation was gentle, and Don tried to be as open as he could about it. And at the end he released his grip and lifted his heavily scarred arm slightly to draw attention to it, trying to ignore how the infirmary had gained two newcomers by now.
Having felt Leon’s distress, Donnie had hurriedly disentangled himself from the couch to make his way to the infirmary with the others. The blanket was still held around his shoulders, and he studied the room with a slight glare before he begrudgingly considered that Leon wasn’t being intentionally antagonized. Leon even seemed effectively distracted, and curiously engaged with the conversation now too, so Donnie held his own questions back with narrowed eyes as he approached. After side eyeing Don to make sure he wouldn’t suddenly try to grab him or something, Donnie leaned against Leon’s back just enough to tuck his head down against Leon’s skull, offering his own form of comfort.
The other newcomer was Raphael. Having not gotten a response from Don quick enough he’d decided to come find his brother in person. But with the scene he’d walked into he decidedly remained at the doorway, folding his arms and pursing his lips warily. He didn’t like where the conversation was going, but he also realized this wasn’t about him and kept quiet.
“...What happened to your arm?” Leon asked, taking the bait Don laid and looking down Don’s arm. Seeing how many scars there were and noting how his grip was definitely weaker than his other hand. The muscles in that arm seemed slightly smaller too.
“...I had my arm in a generator, trying to remove the crystal core, when it got turned back on,” Don answered, giving up his own personal grief story in exchange for having learned something similar about Lil Mikey. “Fifteen fractures along my entire arm, along with deep gashes wherever you see a scar. It scared Raphael pretty good, and Leatherhead still blames himself for not being able to do better fixing it up. It’s one of the many events that motivated us to get such a nicely stocked infirmary.”
Leon was quiet as he processed what Don had told him. Trying to guess exactly how much damage had been done to Don’s arm, and what it had taken to get it back to the state it was in now instead of amputating it. And then he slowly began to fully realize what Don had told him. Their infirmary was top of the line because they needed it to be. Because they hadn’t had just one close call. Don had just told Leon that all of them had almost died when they were teenagers. And then told him there was one more time where Don had personally, probably almost died again after that. And yet they were all still there, smiling and laughing and not breaking down at everything that even slightly reminded them of the events. The next breath from Leon shook slightly, and he reached up to bother Donnie into giving him an arm to hold. “...How are you guys not… How are you still functioning like normal?”
It was a question that Don noticed had as much pain as it had hope in it, and Don could only smile in pained warmth. “Emotional wounds, and mental wounds can heal just like physical ones. As long as they’re taken care of properly,” he assured, returning his hand to Leon’s to give it another squeeze. “I’m asking all the questions I am because I don’t want to just help you guys with your physical injuries. I want to help with everything else too, because when we get you guys back home I want you to be able to feel safe and sound there…. Okay?”
Leon’s gaze fell, but this time it was because of thought instead of wanting to avoid Don. It was too hard to respond with trust just yet. He couldn’t say it was okay, or that he was willing to talk. He couldn’t even say he couldn’t talk about it yet either. So instead he just looked away and relented with a form of direction. “...Ask April about it… She and Mikey are the only ones that can manage to talk about it so far.” The admittance caused him to tighten his grip around Donnie’s arm, afraid he’d just made a mistake by giving Don information he hadn’t had before. It didn’t help that Donnie shared his unease, his eyes moving to stare in mild warning at Don without moving his head. It was a rare moment of them being vulnerable, and Donnie was promising hell to pay if Don used it against them.
By this point Don was starting to get used to the twins’ wariness and bristled emotions, and could only withdraw his own hands as a physical motion to show he wasn’t going to try to pry any more from Leon. “Thank you. For trusting me a little,” he responded first, wanting Leon to know he appreciated his openness. “How about I finish getting Mikey’s arm dressed again, and you can go back to the living room with Donnie to relax more?”
Leaving the situation he was in felt tempting, but Leon also didn’t want to leave Lil Mikey half cared for. He was the one who was supposed to take care of them in this situation after all. He’d needed help with Raph, but something as simple as changing a bandage wasn’t hard. And yet he couldn’t find the motivation to want to complete the job. “..You sure?” Leon asked, half giving in to his reluctant lethargy.
“Sure. You can take it easy. And if I’m too rough then I give Mikey full permission to throw me out the door,” Don persisted brightly. It was a mild joke, but Leon understood why Don had said it. He didn’t mind if the boys got rough with him to protect themselves. He didn’t mind if they were baring their teeth in wary defensiveness. It was nice to hear, and Leon’s nerves stilled a little more as he shifted to stand up, keeping a hold of Donnie’s arm and pulling him with him.
“Alright. Let…,” Leon relented fully, starting to say his usual line of giving them permission to get him if they needed anything. But this time, he didn’t actually want to be bothered. So the words were changed as he started again. “I’ll let you take care of it. And I’ll send April in to help Mikey back when you’re done.”
It was a bit surprising, hearing Leon give Don an easy way to get April and Lil Mikey together to be able to ask them what had happened. But Don could only smile warmly, taking the response to mean he had done well in responding to Leon’s concerns. “Alright. Take it easy, and we’ll come get Raph when we’re ready,” Don bid, letting the two boys shuffle out of the room.
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laughing weakly as I post this at ungodly hours of the night just because I wanted to actually get one up and was worried I wouldn't be able to come back to it tomorrow X'D
sorry for the delay this time. I had a brain crisis like a month ago or something I dunno keeping track of time has been hard especially with having double duty at work and not sleeping the greatest because of leg aches all the time now |D I used to be able to do Rizen and CDK at the same time, but now just 1 project it a bit difficult to work on. I haven't given up on any of my projects, they're just taking a way long time to update now
Fun note though, when I was doing the final before post read through on this Better Days by Arman Cekin and Faydee came on my playlist and I thought it was cute for the latter scenes.
#my art#rottmnt#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#long post#writing#leo#donnie#disaster twins#platonic fluff#cross dimension kidnapping#cdk#rise + 2003 crossover
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Defenseless (Mahito x Reader)
Contains: Rape, body horror, multiple limbs, Mahito's hand cock (as mentioned in my other fics).
Hello! Day 15 of Kinktober: Noncon. For the amount of Mahito dub/noncon that I do write, this was kinda difficult. I tried to make sure it was different than the other Mahito stuff I've done, don't want things to seem too samey. I wanted to try something new, which is why I took a scene with my oc and changed it. Hopefully it still reads well despite being plucked out of that plot. Crossposted to Ao3 under the same name and shared to twt at kenjakusbrain. Comment or rb if you have any thoughts or want to hear more about my AU, perhaps I'll post some of it after kinktober.
The school was supposed to be a safe place, one where there were plenty of people around to keep students safe. Especially at a Goodwill Event, when the teachers from multiple schools were there on the same campus. This year's Goodwill Event had been a disaster thus far. You’d gotten separated from your classmates and decided to simply search for low level cursed spirits to exorcise when the strange veil lowered.
Despite the supposed safety, you knew something was wrong when you attempted to reach out to your classmates via cellphone but were unable. With Yuuta overseas you normally paired up with Inumaki, your technique’s meshing fairly well. It was helpful to nearly any sorcerer to be paired with you though, as your ability was to use reversed cursed technique on others. Your weapon proficiency didn’t usually matter, but since this was supposed to be a friendly battle, you only had your wits and two daggers you weren’t fully comfortable with to protect yourself.
While you were confident in your ability to exorcise some low level curses, the uncertainty of what was going on had you on edge.
Slowly you crept toward a part of the campus people rarely went to, you neared the path to the Tomb of the Star Corridor, assuming that there would be some form of guard there. As you made it to the edge of the wooded area near the stairs, you were shocked to find the end of the barrier. It seemed whatever was going on had nothing to do with Tengen.
It made sense to you that whatever the strange barrier was, that is where the trouble had to be. It wouldn’t hurt to hide or at least find someone of authority to alert.
You met surprisingly little resistance as you burst through the veil, heading over toward the only building you could see. If you remembered correctly, it was a warehouse that the school used to store cursed objects. Looking around, you didn’t see any guards, so you slowly approached the building before slipping in through the door quietly.
Inside wasn’t what you expected to see, two horribly transfigured humans laid on the floor of the storage room. You froze, hands immediately flying to your daggers as you looked around. It seemed like it was just you and the transfigured humans. Remembering the work of the Patchwork curse, you were on edge.
Kneeling next to one of the bodies, you attempted to use your technique to assist them in some way. Focusing all of your energy into the palms of your hands, you attempted to restore the assistant that was still moving. Unexpectedly, right before your eyes you watched as the assistant slowly morphed back, his skin returning to a normal shade. You checked the pulse and to your surprise it was faint.
This changed things, unfortunately you felt drained, not expecting to exert that much energy. You weren’t sure if you’d be able to get the assistant back to your teachers soon.
“Oh what do we have here? Did you do this?” A playful voice filled the room. You looked up, shocked to hear another person when you could have swore the room was empty moments ago.
There was no doubt in your mind who it was when he stepped closer, stitches visible on his face, barely obscured by his long blue hair. The curse had an excited look on his face, like he’d just discovered a new toy to play with. As you both looked at the man that used to be transfigured in front of you, you thought to yourself that this was the only time you would have rather been too late to save someone.
“What are you doing here?” You asked, standing upright. Your hands gripped your daggers but with the energy you just used, you couldn’t help but feel exhausted. Still you weren’t going to back down, that wasn’t what a sorcerer would do.
The curse laughed, taking a step toward you. You couldn’t help but step back, but you miscalculated, tripping over the other transfigured human on the ground and stumbling onto your back. The move was a grave mistake, you felt yourself getting dizzy as your head cracked against the floor.
“You managed to change one of my toys back! That’s so strange, if you came with me I wouldn’t have to worry about them breaking so easily. Say, doesn’t that sound fun?” The curse sounded much more excitable than you expected. You hadn’t expected him to speak with the enthusiasm of a child.
The dizziness in your head made it hard to fully comprehend what he was talking about. When he said toys did he mean the assistants? Confusion mixed with fear in your mind to create panic, though your hands gripped your weapons tightly even on the ground, you were somehow less confident than normal in your ability to protect yourself.
You didn’t have the chance to find your voice, because he was on top of you in a flash. The curse was much faster than you had expected. He didn’t touch you immediately, instead choosing to cage you in. For some reason this scared you more, knowing enough about him to know that his abilities functioned through touch. What could he have planned if not killing you right away.
“I’m not allowed to kill any students, but if I hit you hard enough you should forget most of this,” His words didn’t match the tone he was using. The curse sounded like he was discussing a fun pass time he was unable to partake in, not murder. Even though he hadn’t said much, you didn’t want to listen any longer. The pain in your head was already making your head throb, something about trying to understand the curse just made it throb worse.
You held up your weapons, ready to strike if he moved any closer. Or you thought you were. Before you knew it your hands were empty, daggers ripped from them by a limb protruding from his back that you somehow hadn’t noticed until it was too late.
“Now since you can negate my abilities on others, I wonder what you can do to yourself,” The curse thought aloud, hands reaching for your face. You quickly moved your arms up to protect yourself, not that you could do much.
As you felt his hands grasp your forearms, you knew you needed to act quickly. Your skin felt like it was boiling hot where his hands touched, as if the skin could slough off onto the ground or be reshaped like playdoh. Though you were exhausted, you pushed all of your remaining energy into your arms. Even with your best attempt at keeping yourself safe, you could feel his power was much stronger than yours.
“Fascinating! No one’s ever been able to resist Idle Transfiguration before! I wish I could take you back with me, you’re exactly what he’s looking for in a sorcerer,” He rambled as he spoke, a look of amazement in his eyes. He was clearly excited, but you had no idea who or what he was talking about.
It was hard for you to focus, though you’d stopped his attack it felt like something was seriously wrong with your arms. In the dim light of the warehouse it was so hard to tell though.
Opening your mouth to speak, you were stopped by a pair of unexpected lips on yours. The kiss, if you could call it that, full of tongue and teeth. His tongue slipped into your mouth even though you tried to close it. Everything about him was so overwhelming and strange, you’d never felt a kiss so terrifying before.
You tried to lift your arms in an attempt to push him away, but you could barely move them an inch without pain shooting up your body. You had put all of your remaining energy into trying to block his attack, and it hadn’t even been able to stop it. Groaning at the pain in your arms, you wanted nothing more than for him to leave or knock you out. Pulling away from the kiss, he giggled at what you were sure must have been a horrified look on your face.
“You’re getting me so excited just thinking about it. Say will you stay quiet for me so I can try something? I really think you’d be perfect for one of his experiments,” His words made your blood run cold. They sounded so threatening, and who exactly was he talking about? As far as you knew, this curse operated alone, so to have him actively referencing a partner of sorts was alarming.
Without warning the curse flipped your skirt up, exposing your panties to him. You tried to wiggle away, but it was no use, you were on the floor nearly pushed up completely against the wall. The only way out was through him and that wasn’t happening without help.
You watched in fear as the hand in front of you changed shape and size, taking the form of an erect cock. How hard did you hit your head, exactly? You didn’t remember anyone saying that he could manipulate his body into different shapes, but you also just might not have been paying attention. Now wasn’t the time to worry about that, you attempted to close your legs, but you felt two hands wrap around your ankles.
“Even at a time like this you’re trying to fight back? What a good little sorcerer you are,” The mocking tone in his voice made you angry. You felt the blunt head of the cock rubbing against your pussy through your panties, as if he were teasing you instead of torturing. You lifted your hips to try and get away from him, but the hands around your ankles pulled you closer.
The sudden jerking movement made you hit your head on the ground again, vision blacking out for a moment. Through the haze of fighting to stay conscious, you felt a hot, stretching pain as he entered you. Forcing your eyes open, you were met with the mischievous patchwork grin staring at you, he looked like he had just played a harmless prank on you. Like he wasn’t violating you.
The curse’s movement inside you was slow at first, filling you up carefully as if he were measuring your insides. You could feel the head of his cock pressing up against your cervix, a shiver running down your spine at being filled completely. No human would be able to do this, the strange image of just how large the cock inside you was filling your mind.
You watched his smile grow wider as he slowly pulled out of you. It almost felt pleasurable, the way the thick cock felt inside of you. That is until you felt the stretch of the head against your entrance. The curse paused, not pulling all the way out of you yet. For a moment you thought he was finished, but that thought was only able to linger in your mind for a few seconds before he slammed his cock back into you.
The curse’s thrusts had gone from soft exploration to a violent attack, each one coming right after the other. You choked, having trouble even breathing as you felt the head of his cock slamming up against your cervix. The pain of being fucked so hard by something far too big made you feel sick, but the way his cock rubbed up against your walls felt good. If each thrust didn’t make you want to cry, you could have at least pretended to enjoy it.
His pace increased, the speed he was fucking into you made it impossible to try and get away. You didn’t even have time to think between thrusts. Trying to make it bearable, you attempted to focus on the drag of his cock inside you, it did feel good, the way you could feel the veins against your walls. It wasn’t enough though, you couldn’t take your mind off of the pain.
As quickly as it started though, he froze inside of you. Something had caused him to stop and you had no idea what it was. Was someone here to save you? Had you been found? Part of you didn’t want to be found like this, no one needed to see just how weak you had been.
The curse rammed his cock into your cervix again, pressing in and not moving away.
“It seems I’ve gotta go now, the veil is gone, you’re so much fun though I hate to leave you like this. Next time I catch you, I’ll finish this. Don’t miss me too much, cutie!” As soon as he was finished speaking, he ripped his cock from you. You felt something inside you tear with the violent motion. His hands left your ankles, though you wanted to get up and fight him, you were unable to do nothing more than curl in on yourself.
You watched through teary eyes as he picked something up. Had he been carrying something when you first encountered him? Your brain was too scrambled to remember any details.
“Oh right, you’ve seen me! Don’t want you remembering too much,” He giggled to himself, again his speech making you think of a child.
He stepped over you, his shoes right in front of your face. You didn’t have time to register the sharp kick to your temple as you felt consciousness leave you.
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Oooh body horror of dragon slayers love to see what u come up with 😈 ~
You get me! I'm so excited to do this!
Natsu's veins look like actual lava. Most times its very faint and you can't see it but when he gets mad they glow
His blood is so hot that it burns through things. He got a nose bleed once and melted a table
If he uses dragon force too often, his skin starts to blister and peel like super bad burns.
He also has a ton of burn scars. He didn't build up a tolerance to heat overnight and almost all of his body has rough, painful looking scars (little Natsu was always wrapped in bandages)
Gajeel's dead skin is straight iron and can give people tiny cuts. He wears a ton of lotion because any bit of roughness can hurt the people close to him
This is also the case for cuts on his body. The edges of the wounds sharpen and make it almost impossible to get stitches or bandages. He's also injured several doctors
His eyes and skin end up yellowing with age because of the extreme amount of iron in his body
His skin is either insanely cold or hot. If he gets too hot his skin turns bright red and sizzles. Too cold and he can actually freeze over (also yes, he rusts especially around his fingers and toes)
If Wendy uses her Dragon Force too much, she starts sprouting little feather nubs in her normal form. She has to pull them out with tweezers. It's very painful
Overtime her face and hands develop muscle spasms and tremors. She has a hard time controlling her expressions and gets to the point where she can't even hold items because her hands shake so violently
When she uses too much magic, her skin starts to turn blue from lack of oxygen. She has passed out from it before but it's very rare. The blue is almost every time and her lips are now constantly blue
Her finger nails are black/brown from the lack of oxygen in her blood. Overtime her finger tips turn the same color, but the nails start soon after her first dragon force (she hid it by painting her nails but had to tell others once her actual fingers started to turn)
Laxus' veins are also insane. They mostly look crazy like lighting bolts across his entire body. Drawing blood from him is a nightmare. Especially because his veins are incredibly thin too
He also has a shit ton of burn scars. More so on his hands and arms but also the inside of his mouth is incredibly scarred because of use of his magic
His entire back is covered in those lightning bolt scars too. They are not super visible but if you get up close it's insane
Erik's blood is straight acid. Just a papercut is enough to seriously injure someone. It's so strong that he can't even be operated on.
His skin is super thin. Like if you shine a strong flashlight on him, you can see all his veins and stuff
Because Sting's entire body makes light, he has like an insane amount of sun damage. His skin is very rough, cracked, and often has random burn spots scattered around his body
Rogue straight up feels like a dead body. When he was a kid, he looked like one too. Too skinny, bones popping out, super pale, and cold. As he got older he learned how to bulk up, but his magic still takes it's toll on his body
His pupils are always super big. Like you can barely see his eye color because his pupils are massive. Because of this, his eyes look absolutely massive
#my search history is absolutely insane after this#i have learned a lot about iron poisoning and what happens if you have too much oxygen#I def have more of these and can do a bunch for other dragon slayers#or any characters tbh#i stayed kinda tame with this one but i do have some freakier ideas#ladydoe8#<333#fairy tail#fairy tail headcanons#dragon slayers#natsu dragneel#gajeel redfox#wendy marvell#sting eucliffe#rogue cheney#laxus dreyar#erik cobra#cobra erik#fairy tail erik#fairy tail cobra
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A Thin Line
Emily Prentiss x reader
warnings: language, some medical situations (again, likely some inaccuracies, don't come for me), minor mentions of the Lauren arc/past trauma/anxiety, but mainly fluff and all happy ending!
Covers a bingo square for @prentiss-theorem and also is a fix it fic (i guess lol) for s7e15 of the same title. I just thought things were kinda brushed over in the aftermath.... so here we are.
The team had been in San Bernardino, California for nearly a week now solving what was originally thought to be a series of home invasions linked to gangs in the area. It was after piecing together the threads and a victim getting away that you were able to apprehend the unsub, the team was split up between addresses, Rossi, Reid and Hotch over at the unsubs while Morgan, JJ, Emily and you were heading to Councilwoman Hillary Ross’, knowing that she was one of two next likely targets.
Everything seemed to be going to plan as Derek and JJ snuck around to the back of the house, waiting only on you and Em to burst through the front as Emily announced herself, calling out into the house at just the wrong moment. Her eyes darted toward the unsub, noting the gun in his hand, pointed directly at her and only a second later she felt the burning in her shoulder, jolting back into the wall behind her as she groaned.
“Shit!”
“You’re hit.” You stalled, turning back to her and she nudged you in the direction of the unsub.
“I’m fine!”
“He’s upstairs!” You called over to the other two who had burst through the back door, flying up the stairs to take the unsub down.
“Go.” Emily urged, wincing as your hand came up to the injury, pressing against the wound.
“Like hell I’m going anywhere right now.” You muttered, tugging at your radio to call for medics.
“I said I’m fine.” She insisted, nudging at you once more, “you can go.”
“It’s already two on one, I’m sure they’re doing great. And you’re not fine, you just took a bullet Emily.” You could feel her blood slowly seeping in between your fingers, you would’ve been worried if it wasn’t for the amount of attitude you were getting from her, the scowl persistent on her face.
“It’s nothing.” She grumbled, letting out an annoyed sigh at the flashing lights outside as the ambulance pulled up, “oh come on.”
“You’re gonna need stitches at the bare minimum, c’mon.” Gently lifting her arm over your shoulder you helped her outside and to the paramedics.
Much to Emily’s dismay, she was told she would likely need more than just stitches, that an actual doctor would have to take a look at her before making the official decision and before she knew it she was being transported to a hospital. Even more annoying was that her adrenaline was starting to wear off, the fight or flight draining from her body as the pain began to creep in. She winced as she moved on the stretcher, letting out a quiet hiss and felt her cheeks flushing as your gaze shot to her, concern in your eyes.
“We’re almost there.” You murmured softly, reaching to squeeze her hand, almost surprised at the way her hand wrapped around your thumb, keeping you there instead of letting you pull away. The touch brought a comfort Emily needed but wasn’t ready to ask for, wasn’t ready to admit she even wanted. Her gaze remained turned away from you as she let out a low breath, trying to will the immense pain in her shoulder to go away.
The emergency room was a cacophony of noises, patients crying, yelping out, doctors, paramedics and nurses calling out to each other, demanding what they needed for their cases, alarm bells going off, phones ringing off the hook, the whir and beeping of machines. It was completely overstimulating and enough to block out the pain Emily was feeling briefly while they rolled her through the admittance stages. Your hand had been ripped away from hers as they’d unloaded her from the ambulance, leaving a cold spot on her skin as she tried to block out her surroundings. The lights were bright, still harsh even if she closed her eyes, she felt someone prodding at her skin as they started an IV, grimacing as the needle pierced her skin, the smell of rubbing alcohol burning at her nostrils. The noises from the ER were now slightly muffled, but there were as many beeping monitors and fast talking doctors moving around her right now. She could just hear your voice over the hum of noise, giving her credentials and details of what happened to a doctor, conversation talked over by one of the paramedics as she heard her stats being listed off. She was hooked up to another couple of machines, creating more beeping that was beginning to overwhelm her before the room suddenly seemed to empty.
“Paramedics patched you up pretty good.” Your voice rung through the air and her eyes cracked open, looking up at you with hesitancy in her eyes.
“Then we can go, right?”
“No.” You laughed softly, “you’re just not as emergent as some of the other cases. You’re under observation until they can get you a CT to check for internal damages and we’ll go from there.”
“I hate hospitals.” She grumbled, shifting awkwardly on the gurney, hating how on display she felt. The remaining nurse in the room seemed to sense her uncomfortable-ness, moving over and adjusting it so it was propped up and she could sit upright.
“It shouldn’t be too long Agent Prentiss; they’re just waiting for a backlog at the CT machine to clear out.” They explained, giving you both a brief smile before they disappeared from the room.
“Since when do you have a problem with hospitals?” You asked, dropping onto a spare stool, watching her curiously.
“I’ve just spent enough time in and out of them over the past year.” She replied quietly, ducking her gaze as she picked at her fingernails.
“Hey,” your hand reached out, stopping her destructive movements and she glanced toward you, “you’re non emergent, you’re sitting upright and talking and like you’ve been insisting since Ross’, you’re fine.”
“Thanks.” She flashed a tight smile to you and you squeezed at her hand, only pulling away when your phone pinged and you dug it out of your pocket to read the message.
“They got him, finishing up paperwork now. Hotch wants to know if you want them to meet us here.”
“Oh god no!” Emily groaned, wincing as she moved her arm to run a hand over her face, “I don’t need a fucking audience waiting for me. Tell him they can go home, hell, you can go with them.”
“Well tough titty.” You pocketed your phone, “I’m not going anywhere. You got shot; I’m not leaving you here alone.”
Emily felt a warmth spreading through her chest, knowing that she had someone by her side for the entire thing, unlike last time, she wasn’t facing this on her own. She felt her heart start to calm down rather than racing in her chest, sighing softly as her body relaxed into the stretcher. She was fine, she was going to be fine.
“You’re too nice to me, you know that.” She rolled her head to look at you, a dopey smile on her face and you practically snorted.
“I think those drugs are starting to kick in Prentiss.”
She frowned, pouting at you and you laughed again, this time glancing away as you prayed she was too distracted to pick up on the thudding of your heart in your chest.
Okay. Maybe the warmth spreading through her was the painkillers, but at least she wasn’t focusing on the pain in her shoulder and the terror of being trapped in a hospital anymore.
Though that sense of calm and comfort only lasted the next hour. The results from the CT were exactly what Emily didn’t want to hear.
“Surgery?!” She protested, “you can’t be serious! Can’t you just leave it in?”
“No.” The doctor chuckled softly, “that risks more damage than taking it out.”
“So just rip it out now, here.”
“I do that and you’re gonna hate me for how much pain your in.” They countered.
“Full blown surgery just seems like a complete waste of time and resources.” Emily commented, “for something as trivial as this?”
“Agent Prentiss, I can assure you it’s a very simple procedure and it won’t take very long at all. We’ll have you patched up and out of here by morning with some pain killers.”
“No I—”
“If there’s an issue with pain killers, general anesthesia isn’t in the same, you’ll most likely sleep it off and only feel a little bit groggy when you wake up from being under.”
“No, that’s the part I don’t want.” Emily felt like her heart was beating out of her chest, her throat tight and she wasn’t fully able to catch her breath. The beeping next to her seemed to be getting louder with each moment that flickered by and she was sinking into a nightmare where she couldn’t tell tonight apart from the last night she’d spent in a hospital.
“Em…” Your voice was soft, your hand coming up to squeeze at hers gently, thumb rubbing reassuringly, a cool touch on her burning skin. “Just breathe for me, okay?” You turned to the doctor, “is there any way you could do this with a local anesthesia or something? Something where she doesn’t have to be asleep?”
“There likely isn’t a doctor who would.” He replied, “the CT didn’t give full visibility, if an artery gets nicked we’d have to put her under in a rush and adding extra things on the to do list in a situation like that isn’t ideal. I didn’t see anything in her medical history about a reaction to anesthesia.”
“It’s not exactly medical.” You replied, feeling Emily’s hand squeezing at yours.
“I don’t have the greatest track record with being put under.” She muttered and the beeping on the heart monitor started to increase again.
“Hey…” you shifted from your spot on the stool so you were perched on the edge of the gurney, grabbing her other hand, “look at me.” You waited for a moment until she actually looked up at you, the fear in her eyes slowly melting away as you shot her a small smile, “you need to stop deflecting and shutting down. They’re just trying to do their jobs and get you outta here healthy and in one piece, and that’s exactly what’s going to happen. You’ve got a bullet in your shoulder and the longer it’s in there the more risk you’re at, so let’s do this, okay? You’re not alone, I’m here and I’m not going anywhere okay? I’ll take care of you. I’ll be as close by as I possibly can the entire time, I mean, they’ve gotta give us some leeway, we are federal agents.” You raised a brow in the direction of the doctor who let out a huff of a laugh mixed with a sigh.
“I’ll have someone escort you to the gallery.”
“Thank you.” You nodded, “And like you being knocked out is gonna have me running off, I promise. I’ll be there the whole time and when you wake up.”
Emily let out a long low breath, the tightness in her chest finally easing as chewed on her lip, “okay. You better not be lying, if I wake up on the other side of the country you’ll be the one with a bullet lodged in your shoulder.”
“Em!” You scolded with a laugh, watching as a small smile finally broke out on her lips.
Emily focused on her breathing and remaining calm, listening to your voice as you walked with them all the way down to the OR floor. She wasn’t even sure what you were rambling on about, you always had the most ridiculous stories from when you babysat your nephew and they were mindless enough yet also wild enough that it would steer her mind away from the thought of being put under again. You squeezed her hand once more, saying a quick ‘see you soon’ before you were taken up to the gallery and you watched the way Emily’s eyes flicked toward you as she counted down from ten, letting out a breath to know that you were there, watching over her and this would be over before she even knew it.
The low beeping and dull ache in her shoulder were what roused her first, shifting slightly in the bed with a quiet groan, trying not to agitate her shoulder too much. Without opening her eyes she knew there was a soft light coming from somewhere in the room, much nicer than the glare of the fluorescent overheads and the next thing her ears picked up was the sound of a page of a book being turned before the creaking of a chair.
“Em?” Your voice whispered into the night, leaning forward against the side of the bed and she groaned, her eyes fluttering open.
“Shit still sucks.” She complained, pushing herself up to sitting and you let out a chuckle.
“How’s the pain?”
“Not too bad.” She swallowed, reaching out for the glass of water on the nightstand. As she fully woke up and her eyes adjusted to the light in the room she was able to take you in, spotting the bags under your eyes, the slight redness in them and the fact that you’d somehow snagged a hospital issued hoodie that was about three sizes too big to curl up in. “How late is it?” She asked and you looked at your watch.
“Almost six.” You replied with a tired yawn.
“You haven’t slept yet.” It wasn’t a question; it was an observation and you shrugged.
“I wanted to be awake when you came to, doctor said it wouldn’t be too long. And I definitely wasn’t about to sleep while you were in surgery, besides, it was pretty cool to watch.”
Emily observed you for a moment, her eyes drilling into you so much that you ducked your gaze, picking up your own drink to distract yourself, praying the heat in your cheeks wasn’t noticeable in the low light of the room.
“Why would you do this much for me? You could have left with the rest of the team.”
“I promised you wouldn’t be alone. I care about you, I wanted you to feel safe, I mean, you’re my… friend.” You shrugged it off, picking at the sleeve of your hoodie.
“Okay, now who’s shutting down and deflecting?” She asked with a tease in her voice, prodding at your arm and you let out a soft sigh, glancing back up at her with a playful glare in your eyes.
“Being in the hospital alone sucks enough on its own. The last time you had surgery you woke up across the world completely isolated and if that was me I would’ve been terrified. I know you don’t want to admit it and I’ll never mention it to the rest of the team but you were scared earlier and I wanted to make sure you knew I would be here for you, no matter what. And I… would like to hope that if the tables were turned that you’d do the same for me?”
“Are you kidding me?” A laugh burst from her lips, “of course I would! I really don’t think you have any idea how much you mean to me. You still being on the team and being around was the main reason I decided to stay, no matter how awkward it was with everyone else.”
“Now you’re just making stuff up.” You ducked your gaze once again, this time no doubt the blush on your cheeks noticeable.
“Not at all.” Emily’s finger curled under your chin, turning your eyes up to her, “you were an absolute sweetheart today without even needing to ask and that was exactly what I needed, even if I am too stubborn to say anything. When we get back I’d really like to pay you back by taking you to dinner.”
“Really?” Your brow furrowed, wondering if she was finally stepping across the line the two of you had been toeing since she’d gotten back.
“Yeah.” She softly pinched at your chin, “you can read me better than anyone else. You know me almost better than I do some days and… I really care about you too.”
“Okay.” You laughed softly, the smile remaining on your cheeks, “well then I think that sounds great.”
“Great.” She smiled across at you, “it’s a date.” She gently tugged at your arm, “now c’mon, you need to get some sleep and there’s plenty of room up here.”
With a small laugh you shifted, kicking off your shoes and sliding under the blanket into Emily’s embrace, careful not to nudge her left arm too much. You let out a small yawn as you nestled into her uninjured shoulder, her free arm wrapping around you as she relaxed back into the bed, a sigh of relief finally feeling you in her arms. There was absolutely no doubt in her mind that she was completely safe and wouldn’t have to worry about being alone ever again, not with you around. Her lips brushed against the top of your head; a feather light kiss left on your hair as she spoke.
“Thank you.”
________________
@mickey-gomez @momlifebehard @daddy-heather-dunbar @maybe-a-humanbean @rustyzebra @ilovemycrayons @mandy-asimp @leftoverenvy @kades95 @dextur @supercriminalbean @daffodil-heart @its-soph-xx xx @just-a-torn-up-masterpiece @hopelesslyfallenninlove @peanutbutterprincess @emilyprentisssluvr @lex13cm @zizzlekwum @emobabeyy @riveramorylunar @s1ut4nat @scorpsik @strongsassysexysloane @happenstnces @sapphicprentiss @geekyandgay98 @pagetboobstarcomments @onmykneesformarvel @inlovewithemilyprentiss @desperate-gay @amypoehlfey @overtrred28 @theclassicgaycousin @regalmilfs4me @kalixxh @ara-a-bird @five-bi-five-mind @niyizh @inlovewithmiddleagewomen @tommyriddleobsessed @hotchs-bitch @ollysmulti @kmc1989 @irishavengersassemble
#raeswritingbingo#emily prentiss#emily prentiss x reader#criminal minds#fix it fic#criminal minds fanfic#emily prentiss fluff#emily prentiss fanfic
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