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allys-diary · 2 months

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stories i om-nom-nom'd :: april 2024 (week 2)

I honestly didn't nom through too much because this week was mostly spent on my 'main' blog which is by the site's terms my side blog but let's be real, that's where I'm most active, it's my main blog 😤 Anyways, most of the week was spent reading through my friends' and fellow writers' stories and progressing my Tumblr TBR, writing my own stories, and also downloading and posting all the photos that came out this week from the events that Tom Hiddleston attended (legend has it, I'm still downloading).

As always, spoilers, thots, and thoughts all under the cut

documentaries

The Antisocial Network

I wasn't expecting this to take the turn that it did, documenting the butterfly effect of the creation of 4chan and how it snowballed into January 6, 2021. I ended up liking this a bit more than I expected going in, but I also have a little bit of an opinion…some of these guys really shot themselves in the foot revealing themselves to be a part of Anonymous because now…well they're kinda the opposite 🥴

Quiet on Set: Breaking the Silence

The check in with the people that were interviewed felt like a necessary part of the entire process, but honestly…there was something in the vibe of this episode's execution that felt off to me. It was like the host was putting on a performance like they were filming in front of a studio audience and the tone just felt like it was too chipper if that makes sense? Like you're supposed to be checking in on them and asking them how they've felt since the documentary came out and how their lives have been since, so why are you sounding like you're reading them today's headlines? Like I can't believe I'm even saying this but Trisha Paytas did better--

It just felt a little heavy-handed to me, but I can get behind the concept of having this follow-up episode that addressed the absolute garbage fire of a video that Foot Man put out into the internet trying to do damage control but honestly should've just been titled "Dan Schneider digs his own grave even deeper for 20 minutes straight".

books

games

Delicious: True Love

Stage 5, Day 1: Emily arrives back home to her restaurant/apartment in Snuggford and the poor beb's so heartbroken and hyper-focused on that, that she doesn't even notice there's a big gaping hole in the middle of her restaurant, with a burst pipe making an accidental water fountain. Patrick only sees her going upstairs to unpack and assumes that her trip went well and basically declares to her family and her best friend that now that she's got her love and she's happy, there's no more reason for him to stay.

Dude no, we've officially entered idiots in love stage. 😩

The day ends with Emily sobbing the second her mom goes up and checks in on her. I'm gonna say one more time for good measure, if OG story Jean-Paul has zero haters, I am dead.

Stage 5, Day 2: Emily's parents are worried about her since she hasn't come back down from her apartment, and Francois gives her some tough love telling her to at least show up for work because he won't make excuses for her absence. Nothing much happens on this day, since she goes straight back upstairs when the shift's over, other than her mom Evelyn basically saying she should have meddled in the beginning by never giving her the letter to begin with.

All I'm gonna say is…remake Evelyn is definitely the better Evelyn 🥴

Stage 5, Day 3: Patrick reveals that he's moving to New York since his business is growing and the new shop's gonna need his attention. Then Angela, Emily's little sister, shows up with puppies and asks her all about Paris, which causes Evelyn to shout at Angela rather than just calmly tell her that it's a sensitive topic (Clear to see where Evelyn's playing favorites). Angela leaves the restaurant but instructs one of the puppies to stay behind with Emily, which kicks off our side quest for this level where we call back the pup when he strays from Emily's side.

The day ends with Emily keeping the pup with her for a day or two, and talking to her mom about what happened in Paris.

Stage 5, Day 4: The big hole in the middle of the restaurant's all fixed, and it's bringing in more foot traffic to the restaurant. Emily makes a note to call to have the floors polished, mentioning she likes the floral scent, and Francois tells her that Patrick's moving to New York. He also accidentally kickstarts the dreaded miscommunication trope because he said "something about someone needing his attention there".

Gotta love them himbo besties 🥴

Stage 5, Day 5: Emily gets to see more of Patrick's green flag status when he tends to a kid that hurt herself when she tripped, taking the kid's mind off the pain and giving her a little flower and doing a magic trick. Then he confirms with Emily that yes, he's moving to New York because "it's time to move on", and I wanna bonk some heads together all over again. Francois tells her that she and Patrick have been flirting for so long that it's like "watching the same car crash on repeat" and he tells his therapist about it sometimes, and then accidentally breaks the vase that Patrick put a rose he set aside for Emily in, scattering marbles all over the floor and giving us our side mission for this level.

The day ends with Emily turning down an offer for a girls night out, and holding on to the rose from earlier.

Stage 5, Day 6: We officially unlock this stage's Entertainer, which is Francois with Emily's new puppy from Angela. Not much happens other than at the end of the day, the previous owner of the restaurant Mr Farrell visits the place to reminisce, and he talks about his "one that got away" because he was a teenage boy that fapped over Marilyn Monroe (my words, not his). Then one day when he finally came to his senses, the girl already stopped showing up at the restaurant.

Stage 5, Day 7: Emily's heart's finally starting to heal and she wakes up realizing that her apartment's a total mess ever since she got home and started her one-woman misery party. She still has the rose from Patrick at the center of her living area, and she reads a card that basically boils down to "Emily babes wake up your true love's been right in front of you literally giving you flowers every day". Unfortunately, that last scene from the previous day feels like heavy-handed foreshadowing because Patrick says goodbye to Emily after giving her one last delivery of fresh flowers for the restaurant.

The day ends with Mr Farrell bidding Emily and his old restaurant goodbye since he's moving to Florida to stay with friends, and a regular customer Gladys walks in looking for her purse, and wouldn't you know, it's Mr Farrell's TOTGA, and she moved back to Snuggford after her husband passed away so she could be closer to family. This makes Mr Farrell decide that he doesn't wanna move to Florida anymore.

Undercover: Blood Bonds

Chapter 10: Vera clocks in for the morning shift and finds Bluejay in Club with her pajamas on, finding out that she doesn't have a place to stay so she's been sleeping in the backroom. Vera offers her to move in so she doesn't catch a case for breaking in. At the end of the shift, Jericho reveals he has mind control powers and he used them to make Crystal exit the room before he ordered Mr Smirnov to get rid of Vera because she's asking too many questions.

Chapter 11: Vera meets up with Hank at a pub called Smokin' Wheels, and he tells her that Mr Smirnov's on a mission to get her sacked. Lilly's ex boyfriend Sam shows up and Vera spends that shift trying not to get noticed by Sam. At the end of the shift, we get a flashback of Sam being overprotective but concerned about Lilly coming home late and he pulls the "you're mine" card, while Lilly walks away going "You don't know anything".

Pretty sure the cops are wrong that Sam's the culprit and it's actually Mr Mind Control with the glowy red eyes Jericho that they should be looking up.

stories to om-nom-nom next

The Tortured Poets Department

I'm already sharpening a pitchfork with Joe Alwyn's name on it.

Hello Kitty Island Adventure: Imagination Celebration Event

I have no idea what this side story's gonna be, but all I know is that they made my precious bb Kuromi the villain of the event, and ngl I'm fuming. My sweet mischievous baby deserves better 😤

That's all for this week. See y'all next week unless I fall into a rabbit hole of planning out new stories for the WIP pile because I up and decided to Phase 1 plan for a "The Tortured Poets Department Collection" 🥴🫡

#media chronicles

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screechingpulsar · 3 years

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Why I Value Tagging Over Censorship

(TW for descriptions of antisemitism, nazism, cocsa (child-on-child sexual assault), necrophilia, and torture-porn. I will mark in bold the sections where this is discussed in more detail.)

@olderthannetfic you asked to be tagged in this post, so here you go! It’s uhhh... Not a fun story! But I thought it was important to share since people tend to claim that those on the more “freedom of expression” side of things have no experience with running into explicit/problematic work as a minor, or have been groomed into believing that it’s okay to do this and that’s... not accurate.

TLDR: When an archive’s policy is that problematic or triggering content must be tagged rather than deleted, it is actually much easier to root out bigoted garbage and/or otherwise objectionable content than on a site where such content is not allowed, but also not warned for. As an example, as a child I was exposed to a truly terrible piece of work deliberately made to trigger and hurt others. Had that work been forced to use proper tags, I would have never seen it, or seen the tags and known to stay away.

The anti/pro-ship debate is exhausting to watch, tbh. I hold opinions on the issue that I’m sure people from both sides would take issue with. But one thing that I’ve seen crop up lately that rubs me the wrong way is the debate over AO3.

The argument I’ve seen from antis boils down to: AO3 hosts problematic content-- namely underage explicit fics, rape/noncon fics, incest and rpf, and has it enshrined in its policy that it’s pretty much impossible to get something deleted off the site for being morally repugnant or gross-- therefore it should not exist or instead moderate its content to remove these things. Doing this would make it safer for minors to use the site.

Funny story. As a kid, about 12 years old, maybe a bit younger, I went on a fanfic website that had a policy against hateful or offensive works, and it’s there that I was exposed to the nastiest piece of work I’ve ever seen in my life (and I’ve read HP Lovecraft /half joking).

This site was not AO3. It was FFN (fanfiction.net for those unaware). The fandom was Phineas and Ferb, a widely beloved kid’s cartoon.

I avoided AO3 because even as a 12 year old I recognized that site had Adult Content(tm) on it, and if I didn’t want to see that I shouldn’t go on there. So I didn’t.

FFN didn’t allow NC17/E-rated stuff on its site, and because of the relatively stricter moderation policy, people tended to skew their ratings up to avoid being reported. This meant my creepypasta loving ass often looked through T and M stories to find that good good horror content. Also, FFN didn’t have a smut filter of any kind, the best I could do was remove any works tagged “romance”. Which I did, because again, horror-loving child.

(TW comes into effect most prominently here)

The fic was called, “The Final Solution for Isabella”. Should I have known better from the title alone? As a Jewish descendant of a Holocaust survivor, yeah probably. Except I didn’t, because I was twelve and naive, and didn’t think that someone would be fucking sick enough to write what they did.

(I thought the title was a reference to the dynamic between Isabella and Phineas where she constantly flirts with him and he ignores her advances/is unaware of them. And that this fic would be her trying some wacky scheme to finally get him to notice. I was, of course, very wrong.)

Short version of the fic: Phineas tortures and rapes Isabella for being Jewish, then is graphically described to set her on fire and then have sex with her charred corpse.

The fic’s taken down now (I checked about 5 years ago, I don’t know how long it was up after or before I saw it), don’t go looking for it. Not that I imagine you’d want to.

It wasn’t the only or first story I’d seen that covered topics like WW2 and the Holocaust either. Again, creepypasta kid, I saw tons of nazi-experiment ghost stories. On the creepypasta wiki. Where I expected them. Where it was often made abundantly clear in advance what kind of horror I’d be dealing with.

(a rare advantage to formulaic, bad writing)

It was the first (and only) fic that genuinely traumatized me though.

I want to be clear here: this wasn’t merely dark fiction, or someone’s weird snuff. This was malicious, created to deliberately upset as many people as possible, especially Jewish fans of PnF. This was beyond even the grooming material antis talk about. There aren’t enough insults in the world to describe what this was.

(Graphic description is over.)

FFN’s moderation policy didn’t catch the most blatantly terrible and hateful thing I’ve ever seen in my life. How many other kids saw that fic, I wonder? How many little Jewish kids were exposed to that kind of vitriol while just trying to have some fun with a show they liked?

Trust me. You want people to have a place where they can put their fucked up fics and have them be well-tagged. I can go on AO3 and filter out adult content of any flavour with a couple clicks. I could have even gone on it without the age filters and just filtered out smut, but still gotten the gratuitous violence my tiny edgelord soul craved!

(Sidebar: there was another fic on FFN in the PnF fandom that my child self absolutely loved: it was about a haunted house where most of the cast ended up dying brutally and graphically. It was messed up, kinda trashy and gorey for gore’s sake, but that’s what I was looking for, and that’s what I found.

(I’m not sure if that one’s better or worse than the circus AU one I saw where Phineas literally ate people’s souls... I liked that one because it’s how I learned about Creature Feature. Probably should have just picked up Cirque du Freak, eh?)

No matter how morally reprehensible I find some of the content on AO3 to be, I will never fault them for having the tagging system they do. I would much rather see a sign that says, “WARNING: Horrible, awful, no good, very bad stuff ahead” and go somewhere else than see a sign that says, “We don’t allow the horrible, awful, no good etc. content here!” only to be smacked in the face by something I’d rather have not seen.

(Disclaimer: I’m aware that someone could just as easily not tag their shit on AO3 and have the same effect, but fun thing about AO3′s policy: if you don’t put any ratings/warnings on your work, they will automatically put the tags “Not Rated” and/or “Creator chose not to use archive warnings”. So even then, the work could be avoided if a user is, in AO3′s terms, “risk-averse”.)

#fandom discourse #shipping discourse #ao3 #archive of our own #in which i out myself as a huge edgelord for internet discourse #fun fact about my lovecraft jab: i found out what he named his cat through the necronomicon i got for my birthday at 14 #and surprise surprise! reading lovecraft didn't make me think racism and xenophobia was okay!#in fact: it's a big part in how I started noticing problematic themes in horror! and then in other genres too!#anyway that's not quite relevant to the main point of this post #which boils down to: if people wanted to expose kids to abuse/incest/underage fics against their will #thoroughly tagging them so content filters can pick up on them on a website known for its robust tagging system #is a pretty bad way to accomplish this #in other words: i have moral issues with some shit people write #but i have ethical issues with trying to censor things instead of just labelling them as what they are and moving on

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purplesurveys · 4 years

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1030

1. What did you do on the last nice weather day? I’m guessing ‘nice’ here universally means sunny and fair, even though that isn’t my weather of choice. But that said, yesterday I just stayed indoors and caught up on rest by binge-watching Friends, which I haven’t done in a while. I also ordered another embroidery kit online since my first kit, which I had mostly used as a trial since I’ve never done one before, has since run out of the given floss.

2. What do you love the most about your work? I work in an agency, so I’m not forced to do PR under just one company which I think would get boring for me pretty quickly. With the nature of my work, it’s fun working with many different brands/companies at one time because I get to be exposed to and learn about different industries, and I’m also challenged to come up with campaigns that would best fit the different groups that we work with which is always fun. Also, PR is a great way to keep up with the trends and always remain hip because I always know about upcoming campaigns or promos before they’re even unveiled to the public, lol.

3. What do you think about what is going on in the world today? I think wealthy people and big corporations are a crucial, if not the main, root of the world’s problems and it’s frustrating that the task of mitigating those issues is always delegated to everyone below them.

4. What is your favorite way to work out? By not doing so, hahaha.

5. What motivates you? I don’t know if anything has been lately. I’ve been taking life slowly and easily these days and I’m allowing myself to just go through the motions as I digest all these big adjustments currently going on in my life. For now I’m not putting any pressure on myself to be motivated to do anything big. I’m still a little overwhelmed with everything as it is.

...where’s #6?

7. What is something people do that drives you crazy? When people need something from you so they message you, but do unnecessary small talk before asking for a favor. The fact that they need my help does not bother me; the fact that they are only talking to me because they need something from me does not bother me. It’s the small talk that irks me. I’ll be ready to help anybody at any time and it doesn’t matter how long it’s been since we’ve spoken – but just go ahead and ask for the damn thing and don’t waste my time trying to sound like you care about what’s going on in my life.

8. What are some things on your bucket list? Go to Wrestlemania, travel with my own funds, have my own place, have kids.

9. What are some of your deal breakers in a relationship? Do I even have any? Gab dropped so many red flags in our relationship that should have been dealbreakers and my dumb, ever-forgiving ass always saw past them. I think the thing with me is that I think I have a list of dealbreakers, but when actually confronted with them I’m too afraid to speak out about it, so I just forgive and forget and eventually they just stop being dealbreakers. I have to work on that.

10. What do you never leave your house without? My top three are phone, keys, wallet. And of course, as a given – a face mask and face shield.

11. What was your most memorable vacation? Sagada and Singapore/Malaysia, since that was my first trip abroad.

12. Do you have any phobias? Needles and fire.

13. What is your favorite ethnic food? Indian, Thai, Indonesian, and Korean. 14. I love Italian/Thai etc. Would you like to go to my favorite place sometime? I love both, though I like Thai a tad bit more. And yessss, I’m always open to anyone’s recommendations so long as it’s got something to do with food.

15. What TV shows have you binged lately? I’ve been rewatching Friends again and I’m in between seasons 5–7, which I believe to be the show’s peak. Currently, I’m several episodes away from the Ross/Elizabeth storyline and Chandler’s proposal.

16. Send me a funny meme that you shared recently. I haven’t been active on social media, so I haven’t seen any new memes lately. I hate missing out.

17. What do you hate about technology? This is more nitpickiness on my end than anything else, but battery power. I hate being constantly cautious over my gadget running out of power or dying on me especially when I’m out. I often find myself wishing for technology to evolve to the point that we won’t need batteries or to charge stuff anymore, which idek if it’s even possible haha.

18. What sites do you find yourself visiting the most? YouTube, by a mile.

19. Do you have any favorite apps? Again, YouTube. I also like going through Reddit at the end of the day.

20. What is the best part of your day? Any point I don’t find myself feeling miserable.

21. What time period would you like to visit the most, if you could time travel? 70′s punk/rock scene, maybe? < Ooh, this is a good one. Also, late 90s Attitude Era-era WWF/E. And whenever Pompeii was around.

22. What scents do you really enjoy? (a certain flower, cut grass, fireplace, perfume) Bakeries, a newly-cleaned hotel room, coffee shops.

23. What is something that you are terrible at? Giving and following directions, drawing, and cooking.

24. What are some favorites on your playlist right now? Because I mentioned The Japanese House on a survey last night, I am ALL over Saw You In A Dream again. Seriously, god-tier. One of my favorites ever. Outside of that, haven’t been listening to music lately because I’m still sad; but I might find myself back on Spotify soon. As much as I haven’t been tuning into music, I do miss it.

25. What comedy movie is your favorite? Ferris Bueller’s Day Off. Also, a bit of a garbage choice but White Chicks.

26. Have you ever meditated? No. I don’t think I have the patience/required attention span for it.

27. What is your dream job? I wanted to be in PR. I currently work at an agency which is my dream for now so yay for me achieving that, but like I’ve said before it would be such a dream come true if I can come work for WWE, my dream company, in any capacity. Getting to work for their in-house PR team would be the perfect icing on the cake.

28. What comes to mind when you think of a great moment in your life? Being in a relationship, and how much I miss that feeling. Now that I’ve experienced both singlehood and having an SO, I can definitely decide that I don’t particularly enjoy being by myself.

29. What do you miss the most about college? The independence I learned to gain. My campus was such a freeing environment and it allowed me to grow so much, to wear whatever I want, to join whatever protest or rally was going on, to meet new people, to hear different perspectives from my classmates. I miss being there.

30. Whenever you text it makes me smile! ???

31. What are you planning this weekend? My weekend is nearly over, actually...for the remaining 10 hours and 20 minutes of it, I willllll probably just watch a bunch of wrestling and maybe find something to watch on Netflix just so that I have something interesting to share for the weekly check-in tomorrow with the team.

32. Who is your favorite band? Paramore, but you knew that already.

33. How do you like to spend your free time? If I manage to find a few free minutes while at work, I gobble that shit up by lying in bed and finding a video to watch. On weekends I like doing embroidery, taking surveys, maybe even find a black hole of articles to read on Wikipedia. I’m also looking forward to playing video games once I’ve finally bought the ones I’ve been eyeing to get.

34. What do you like about springtime? I don’t know. I can’t relate, we don’t have that season.

35. Is your personality similar to anyone in your family? I’m most similar with my mom, but I share traits with my dad as well.

36. How have you handled having to stay in? It was sucky at first, but after eight months you kinda get used to it and just make the most out of things you can do only at home.

37. Are you able to work at home? Yeah, we’re all on a WFH set-up right now.

38. How would your friends describe you? The most popular opinion would probably be ‘shy.’

39. Did you ever take a really big risk? Sure.

40. What do you want to be known or remembered for? Anything but negatively.

#survey #surveys

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wonderfulworldofmichaelford · 5 years

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Michael in the Mainstream: The Nostalgia Critic

I have been a fan of the Nostalgia Critic for years now. That’s a rather controversial stance to take nowdays, especially in light of recent controversies; first was the big #ChangeTheChannel movement which had the entire site sans Brad Jones performing a mass exodus elsewhere with some even going so far as to brutally cut ties with Doug for his and managements failings (with Alison Pregler, AKA Obscurus Lupa offering some especially harsh words). Then was this year’s review of The Wall, where he utilized his divisive clipless style and his complete lack of a good singing voice to create what is hands down one of the worst videos – not even just review, VIDEOS – on YouTube. But even with those two things aside, I do think there is some value to the work of Doug Walker. He became popular for a reason, right? So what is that reason? Where did he go wrong?

Doug Walker began doing his Nostalgia Critic schtick in the wake of James Rolfe’s Angry Video Game Nerd becoming an internet icon, and he quickly became one of the bigger faces in the wake of imitators Rolfe spawned. The conceit of his show is rather simple – he reviews nostalgic movies, mostly stuff from the 80s or 90s, with occasional forays into the 2000s – all while parodying the typical internet film critic much as Rolfe parodied the typical nerd gamer. The Critic, you see, is not necessarily Doug, but instead a hyperactive psychotic manchild version of himself who screeches, shoots, and curses up a storm while reviewing movies. It wasn’t too different from other review shows at the time, really, but Doug had a sort of corny charm that really worked.

As time went on, production values slowly increased, Doug’s humor sharpened, and eventually actual thoughtful film analysis crept in, especially in the post-reboot episodes. In fact, that is something I generally like about Doug’s work, and why I even bother with him still: the man clearly has an understanding of film theory, he knows what he’s talking about, and when he takes the time to sit down and actually talk about movies he’s actually pretty insightful. I think of his reviews of stuff like Ghostbusters 2,where he actually gave a genuinely great alternate plotline for the film that would have better utilized the concepts and characters, or any of his numerous video essays on film issues like whitewashing. When it’s Doug just sitting down and talking about a film while cracking jokes here and there, it tends to be really good.

However, Doug has increasingly wanted to add some spice to his reviews in the forms of skits. And it’s not like there never were bits in his reviews back in the day, but post-revival He ramped up the amount of skits, utilizing a cast of friends, with the current mainstays being Malcolm Ray and Tamara Chambers. I do sort of like the weird cast of characters the show has amassed, and I think they really help give the show an identity to set it apart from other review shows. Malcolm and Tamara are honestly, genuinely funny and enjoyable, though the writing doesn’t always play to their skills and can sometimes be a bit obnoxious. I think I’d have to say Malcolm is probably my favorite of the bunch, as he has the wackiest roster of amusing characters, with roles such as Satan, Black Willy Wonka, and good ol’ Bill. And some of his best reviews have crazy skits. His Moulin Rouge review is a standout example; even if I don’t agree with his opinions, he manages to make the musical interludes fun, funny, and actually filled with some sort of commentary relating to the film.

I think the real issues with the skits is they sometimes bog down the reviews or go on for a bit too long. Some of them also just plain aren’t funny at all, or they use really bottom of the barrel cringeworthy comedy that the Critic himself has criticized in his reviews. Of course, the pinnacle of these problems are his clipless reviews, which are basically just Doug and pals reenacting whatever movie he’s reviewing. On paper, this seems like a fun and amusing idea, but the execution is often extremely poor. See, the thing about the Nostalgia Critic is that you’re ostensibly going to him to see criticism and see if something is worth watching; the thing with his clipless reviews is that they require intimate familiarity with the source material for you to even get half of the jokes he’s making, which kind of defeats the point. This is one of the reasons his review of The Wall is so terrible; he’s taking a film that is incomprehensible and surreal and parodying it without explaining the context, so anyone unfamiliar with the movie will be lost.

And even if you are familiar, a lot of the parody can come off as mean-spirited or even filled with blatant lies. Doug has a tendency to overexaggerate and be hyperbolic when he’s in-character, so if he finds a serious flaw in the movie he’ll blow it up in his parody. His reviews of the It films really showcase this, as he sort of nitpicks things that really aren’t as big a deal as he makes them out to be, which has the unfortunate side effect of making his legitimate criticisms look a bit weaker. In fact, a lot of the time Doug comes off as genuinely hypocritical, mocking tropes and tools he himself frequently utilizes in his own reviews. It’s so weird, because despite all this as well as the cheap special effects and production values that Doug is clearly putting a lot of effort into acting out all these wacky parodies, but he just can’t act and criticize at the same time. At the very least, his clipless reviews lend themselves well to unintentionally hilarious, so bad it’s good territory.

I think a lot of why the clipless reviews and skits don’t work is because of Doug’s lingering resentment over the failure of Demo Reel, which was him trying to branch out after he retired the Critic. Of course had to fall back on the Critic; Demo Reel was not very popular, and people just wanted more of what Made Doug famous. I do like that he did try stuff to spice his show up to make it enjoyable for him again, but it’s still hard not to get the sense that Doug is still bitterly lashing out with his skits at the people who wouldn’t accept him branching out into attempts at legitimate acting. As such, they just feel like empty, over the top garbage that Doug is pushing out because he really wants to act, but he feels like he can’t because what people want is more Critic.

I guess in general it doesn’t help that Doug is just not a great actor. Just look at his performances in the anniversary movies, which horribly clash with the whiny manchild the Critic is portrayed as in the main show, orr even during some of the commercial skits he does, where he tends to overact or just get too childish and hammy. It’s so obvious to me that Doug really wants to be a legitimate actor but he just doesn’t seem to have the aptitude for it. He’s a lot better at comedy and criticism than he is at acting. Of course, that’s not to say he’s incapable of doing anything good; his review of that 3D Nutcracker movie, and in fact a lot of his more modern Christmas-related reviews, have some genuinely touching and heartfelt moments, and when Doug is staying true to the goofy, idiotic character of the Critic he can be really fun.

The Nostalgia Critic is not really a show I think I can recommend to most people. Hell, sometimes I feel like I only watch it because of, ahem, nostalgia. I definitely don’t think the show is void of good content, but when Doug drops something like The Wall, it makes me wonder… Still, I like to stick around, because when Doug hits it, he hits it out of the park. The problem is when he fails, he tends to fail in the most epic manner possible. He’s like that one bat in EarthBound which is super powerful but misses a lot, but when it hits, your opponent is pretty sure to get knocked out. I think a lot of Doug’s failings are carried by his supporting cast, and the flaws in his writing are only easy to swallow because of the genuine insights he offers. There’s just a lot to take into consideration when it comes to the Critic, it’s really hard to say if he’s good or bad. He just… is.

I definitely think some of what Doug does is bad and cringeworthy (I really can’t defend those sketches in the Deadpool 2 review or those awful Kermit puppets), but I think beneath the cringiness, beneath the overdone acting, and beneath the flaws, there are some good insights to be found about films and why they do and don’t work. I of course don’t agree with everything Doug says, but there is still genuine thought and effort. I don’t really know if I can say he’s worth going out of your way to watch, but popping in now and then to check out what Doug has to say isn’t a bad thing. I kind of wish he would go back to doing those video essays again, because I think that was some of his best work, or maybe stick to only reviewing stuff that he has some sort of genuine connection with. When he is really passionate about something, it really shows, because he puts care and effort into the analysis and is able to tell some genuinely good jokes in between snarking at the film. When he just doesn’t care… you get The Wall review. Yeah, that’s pretty much my go-to for awful Doug reviews, becauseit is emblematic of every single problem that has come to plague his worst efforts: lack of care, bad writing, crappy production values, overdone and overacted skits, manipulative editing, and zero insight into the film.

Still, as cringeworthy as he can get these days… I’ll take this version of Doug over the Bat Credit Card/Chuck Norris/Burger King “elephant”/forced meme version of Doug from his early days.

I’m Michael Ford. I remember the Nostalgia Critic so you don’t have to.

#Michael in the Mainstream #review #web show review #The Nostalgia Critic #Nostalgia Critic #NC #Doug Walker #critic #criticism #comedy #internet reviewer

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grantfieldgrove · 5 years

Text

Your friends want you to fail.

It’s true.

It’s true and it sucks.

But the sooner you realize this, the better off you’ll be. You can set yourself on the course for success while leaving them behind.

That’s exactly what your friends don’t want, but you have the capability to make it happen.

I’m not trying to be negative, but I’ve learned this the hard way.

Let me back up a bit.

Ten years ago I was working a dead end job at a grocery store. I hated it. The pay was crap. The work was crap. Most of the customers were crap. But I had friends!

I was miserable. I had a temper, I was angry about everything. I was bitter that I worked this job I didn’t like when I knew I should be doing better. I was all over social media, posting about everything, even belittling people I didn’t even know by snapping pictures of them and posting them, then enjoying a laugh at their expense.

That’s bottom of the barrel, self-esteem wise.

I would fight with people who held different political beliefs than me, different opinions about religion, or even movies. I was the loud mouth Fred Flintstone type, but I always got laughs. At least some.

It didn’t take long after my son was born to realize that something wasn’t quite right with him. He was extremely delayed and obviously autistic. I blew it off and didn’t believe it, making excuses as to why he was so behind.

We had to enroll him in a special school at age 2. The bitterness grew.

One day I decided to buy an iPad. Just because.

I took it home, unboxed it, and sat on my floor to play with it. But instead of playing games, I started writing.

I literally started writing a novel out of nowhere. It was a hoot. I started carrying a little notebook around work, thinking of plot points. It was great, because when you carry a notebook and pen around while working, people assume you’re working really hard!

Before I knew it, I had a book. I didn’t know what the hell to do with it, but I had one.

I found out you can self-publish books on Amazon, so that’s exactly what I did. I gave it a once or twice over, figured out how to format it, and it was published. And wow, did it have a lot of typos. The story was good, though. Some people bought it and it actually got good reviews. Some friends even bought it, though I doubt many of them read it. But still, it felt good. So I started the second book and finished it in record time. This one was even funnier and I liked it a lot, although, once again, I skimped on the editing.

Shortly before the release of that book, I had a falling out with most of my friends. I had planned a big party in Las Vegas, everyone was going to attend, but it was just a disaster. We had a suite at the Aria, but none of my friends even stayed in the hotel. Not a problem, but they stayed way down the strip at Paris. Then got so drunk at the pool, not a single person showed up. So yeah, I was pissed. And the party wasn’t just for fun, it was a special occasion for my wife. And every one of them let me down. So that’s that. We left first thing in the morning, leaving them all in the dust.

Nothing was really the same after that.

All of this is just specific backstory that doesn’t pertain to you, but the basic elements could. The moral of the story remains the same.

Cut to ten years after I first sat down to write that novel. I now have 11 books, including the first ever murder mystery series for kids, which even, somehow, became the runner up for some award I already forgot the name of. Three of my books have been produced into audiobooks and two have advanced to the semi finals in an Amazon-sponsored fiction contest where out of 10,000, 400 advanced. I’ve gotten positive reviews from Kirkus, and a few other publications.

These are facts that I am proud of. I share these from time to time on social media, although I am still not comfortable with talking about myself.

But, now my friends don’t buy my books. Maybe one or two, not even my “Facebook friends” who were on board at the beginning. The last book published is my favorite. I’m so happy with it and proud of it. I literally tried to give away copies to people I know. I didn’t have a single taker.

I would promote the book being free on Kindle during a particular day or weekend, or whatever, and not a single person would respond to it. I tried to give away Audible audiobooks. Not a single taker.

It’s so bizarre.

Why?

I could understand if the books were garbage. There are a lot of genuinely bad books out there, especially since self publishing has gotten so popular and easy to do. But my books aren’t those books.

I started a small publishing services company, just as a side job to help people out. People who were lost like me when I first started.

My friends didn’t care.

Granted, it’s not very exciting, and with the emergence of “multi-level marketing,” starting a business isn’t that impressive, apparently. (Remind me to tell you about this amazing magical wrap thing! Kidding.)

One thing I forgot to mention earlier, is that I went without Facebook for about a year and a half. I hated it. I hated the fakeness of it. And I was bitter. Bitter that I was trying to better my life, to branch out from a dead end job and try to make something of myself, and I never got any good feedback from it.

My son is severely autistic, he’s ten now and still completely non-verbal. We don’t have a typical life. We have to adapt to whatever life throws at us, and that’s what I was trying to do. My son hated when I had to go to work. He didn’t understand why I had to leave, often in the middle of the night. So I tried to change things.

And still I got nothing. So, bye bye Facebook. Good riddance.

It was weird at first. I still had this urge to let everyone know what I was doing. Like, them knowing would someone validate me doing it. If your Facebook friends don’t know what you do, are you really even doing it?

While I’m typing this, my Facebook is back. But there is a reason. Over the summer, while I was doodling on my iPad, I had an idea. I could put these things on tshirts. I would totally wear them.

So I looked it into. I saw that the possibilities were seemingly endless. Why stop at tshirts when you can make leggings? Why stop at leggings when you can make backpacks?

It goes on like this.

So I went all in. And I mean, ALL IN!

I had quit my job at the supermarket a few months prior. I had enough money to survive for a while while I explored new paths. So I sunk everything into this little venture. I was going to make horror related clothes. The horror market is severely underused. There are, of course, some major players in the horror game, but they all had to start at the bottom, too. So I went for it. I made a website. I made an Instagram and a Facebook. And after a week of the site being up, I made a sale. And then another sale.

Turning a profit is tricky, though. I needed word of mouth. I needed friends.

So I got back on my personal Facebook page after a year and a half, and let everyone know what I had been up to while I was gone.

It landed with a thud.

Nobody cared.

In the time I was gone I had a kid’s book, and novel, and this clothing company all launch.

I got nothing.

I started booking comic cons and would post pictures.

Nothing.

I have a little booth downtown, with all my stuff displayed, where you can walk in, buy something, and help support me and my family, by buying small, staying local.

I’ve had one friend visit it.

One.

It’s been there for six months.

I posted a few pictures of horror-celebrities wearing or showing off something I created.

Nothing.

I drew posters for a few events, movie screenings, even a stage play. I posted them. The most recent one I posted got 6 likes.

I have 590 Facebook friends and 6 of them liked a poster I did for a Scream 2 screening.

I have a family member whose daughter wanted “something Michael Myers” for Christmas. I have tons of Myers stuff. Stuff I poured my heart and soul into. Stuff you can’t find anywhere else.

This person did not buy from me. She bought a generic Myers t-shirt from a major store and probably spent more than she would have with me.

Right now, through luck and hopefully hard work, my work is in the processing of being officially licensed. Which means, with a little more work and a whole lot more hustle, it could end up in stores like Hot Topic, etc.

And then what?

I don’t know. I like to daydream. And I would like someone to be proud of it, someone who doesn’t live with me.

But, there comes a time when you have to let that go. Your friends won’t be proud of you. They will belittle you. They will find something to nitpick about what you’re doing.

And it sucks.

Strangers will support you. Your friends will not.

The sooner you know this, the better. You can delete your personal Facebook, you can shrug your shoulders at all the people holding you back and making you feel bad about leaving your comfort zone and taking a risk.

There is no law that you must remain friends with the people you were once friends with. Cut em loose.

This is about you. It’s about your dreams. Your life. Not theirs.

If they don’t want to follow you on your journey or cheer you on, cut them loose. Release that anchor from around your neck and push full-speed ahead.

You’ll be amazed at what you can accomplish when you stop worrying about what so-called friends think and start realizing that no matter what you do, there will be someone who admires you and looks up to you, just as you’ve looked up to someone else when you started your self-fulfilling journey.

Be the person you would want to look up to.

You can do it.

Start today.

Two months ago I had to attend a wedding where all of these people would be, all these “friends.”

All I heard were complaints. Whoever we struck up a conversation with, complained.

Complain complain complain.

I understood what was wrong.

We didn’t complain. My wife and I, we only told positive stories.

Our complaining days are over. We’ve moved on. We seemed out the positives from our lives and choose to focus on that.

All this did was draw out more complaining from the wedding guests.

So tone deaf and these people we’ve left behind, they were complaining about students (the teachers we knew) that are very similar to our son.

Like, really?! This is our life. You go home at 3. We live with this. And we still don’t complain.

So far back these people are, I had to hear outdated and cringeworthy jokes, I had to hear casual sexual harassment, breasts referred to as fun bags, in front of the girl they were talking to, and the groom’s nieces. They still use the R word to describe anything, despite knowing my son is extreme special needs.

Once you realize that you don’t want to live in the world these people still inhabit, the sooner you can progress to where you want to be.

You’ll never be happier leaving them, and their outdated thinking, and their complaints, and everything else that makes you miserable to hear about, behind.

And you can do it.

You can do it right now!

Log out of Facebook and get to work.

Find people to look up to and follow them. Do your own thing. People will begin to follow you.

I’m not saying it will be easy. I’m just giving you a heads up of what’s to come.

You can sidestep it completely.

You just need to realize that your friends want you to fail.

Prove them wrong.

Don’t even tell them.

Start now.

Go.

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masonjar828 · 5 years

Text

So this is in response to an ask me thing I reblogged. Thanks @kylorenpunk for once again making me do them all 😂 but I ain’t no quitter so let’s begin shall we.

1. Selfie; as seen above

2. What would you name your future kids?; If I could have sole control of naming my kids, I’d go with Zephyr for a girl and Red Nalloh for a boy. I always liked the word zephyr and I like the palindrome name that would come from naming my son that.

3. Do I miss anyone?; I recently moved to the west coast and left a lot of close friends behind so I miss each of them every day.

4. What am I looking forward to?; I recently interviewed for a job I’m pretty excited about so I’m really looking forward to hearing new news from them!

5. Is there anyone who can make me smile?; Legit anyone who ever says or does a kind thing to me I will think about from time to time with a little grin.

6. Is it hard for me to get over someone?; I don’t have too much experience needing to do so but I feel like it takes me a normal amount of time to get back on the level after being with someone 😂😅

7. What was my life like last year?; I was a senior in college man...life was a ball of stress and sleep deprevation for months.

8. Have I ever cried from annoyance?; Not really. It honestly takes a lot to make me cry usually. BUT! Show me something with heartwarming feels and a tear or two will always come.

9. Who did I last see in person?; My aunt while we were watching a movie.

10. Am I good at hiding my feelings?; Maybe? I feel like I am but I also know my poker face is garbage so I could be suckish at hiding my feelings too haha.

11. Am I listening to music right now?; Yes! The new Greatest Showman Reimagined album and it’s utterly amazing!

12. What is something I want right now?; I want more than anything rn to hear back from some job somewhere because I’m so in need of a post-college job 😂😅

13. How to I feel right now?; Bit of a headache and fairly tired but overall pretty happy! Listening to the rain outside helps.

14. When was the last time someone of the opposite sex hugged me?; About 20min ago when I said goodnight to my aunt lol.

15. Personality description; I feel the best way to describe my personality is a hyperactive ball of music and useless facts who usually does anything to help my friends, usually at the expense of my sanity at times 😂

16. Have I ever wanted to tell someone something but I didn’t?; There was a time where I desperately wanted to take a risk of telling one of my closest friends just how I truly felt about her but didn’t because I didn’t want to risk ruining the friendship that meant too much to me.

17. Opinion on insecurities; They are a thing everyone experiences and should never be judged on, but I do feel like the only way to truly become better as a person is to actively work to identify and try to work on overcoming or coming to terms with them.

18. Do I miss how things were a year ago?; The constant stress, absolutely not. The friends I got to see daily and never get to see and rarely talk to anymore, all the goddamn time.

19. Have I ever been to New York?; State, yes. City, also yes. Went this past summer to see Hamilton live and my god it was one of the best shows I’ve ever experienced! ☺️

20. Favorite song at the moment?; Hardest question in the world to ask me since I listen to and love so many so songs at once. The one currently stuck in my head is Zac Brown Bands version of From Now On from the Greatest Showman Reimagined soundtrack.

21. Age and birthday; 22 and August 28th

22. Description of crush; No crushes at the current moment but I usually like women a tad shorter than me, with amazing eyes, and a personality that is fun and nerdy so we can make stupid puns and jokes to each other.

23. Fears; Only one real one and it’ll always be snakes. Fuck those venomous and scaly bastards.

24. Height; Like 5’9”-5’10”ish I think?

25. Role model; My dad for sure. He is one of the most loving and caring people I know who can be outright terrifying if he needs to be.

26. Idols; I’m not really the type to idolize anyone tbh 😅 I feel like idolization can be a tad unhealthy.

27. Things I hate; The thing I hate most in the world (apart from snakes, fuck snakes) would have to be the sound of silence (not the song I love the song). Silence weirds me the hell out and I’m not about it.

28. I’ll love you if...; I’ll basically love you if you just show you genuinely care for me and have my best interest at heart. If you do that I’ll basically fight for you til the very end.

29. Favorite films; Star Wars for a series, Airplane! for a individual movie.

30. Favorite tv shows; Brooklynn 99 is my current binge. Others tend to be Star Trek: Next Generation, Cosmos (think this is considered tv), Friends, Avatar, The Last Airbender, etc lol.

31. 3 random facts; About me I’m guessing? I can solve a Rubik’s cube in about 30sec. I can sing the lyrics to literally each and every track from the Hamilton soundtrack. And I can bake recipe for cookies I’ve had friends literally fight over blindfolded if I have the ingredients all lined out first.

32. Are my friends mainly girls or guys?; Girls mostly. Guys tend to annoy the hell out of me most of the time. Even my best friend in the world can annoy the shit out of me fairly easily 😂😅

33. Something I want to learn; How to play literally any instrument. At all. I have wanted to learn for ages but I am just not good with instruments at all.

34. Most embarrassing moment; I tend to repress my embarrassing moments a lot so the first one that comes to mind is when I was talking shit about a professors godawful and stupid teaching method after being given a test he taught us like 30% of and turning around to see him 10ft away and definitely hearing what I said 😐

35. Favorite subject; Any math or chemistry really. #chemicalengineeringlife

36. 3 dreams I want to fulfill; Fairly easy I think. Find success in an area near my family so I can stay close with them after years of being unable to. Find a partner who I can be happy with the rest of my life. And be financially stable to never need to stress about living day to day.

37. Favorite actor/actress; Actor I think Chris Pratt. Actress Anna Kendrick.

38. Favorite comedian; John Mulaney without hesitation.

39. Favorite sport; Tennis. Can’t play it for years and not love it.

40. Favorite memory; Ooh hard one. I think it would have to be the time my family went camping to a place in the middle of Nowhere, Nevada when I was younger and I was able to see each and every star in the sky like I had never been able to before. It made me start to love space and science as a whole looking into that beautiful endless abyss.

41. Favorite book; Hate this because I love reading so so much and it’s like having to choose a favorite child. I think the one I most often reread would have to be The Hobbit though.

42. Favorite song ever; Bohemian Rhapsody I would guess counts the most since it’s the one I will always go back to and enjoy. (Also if you haven’t seen Bohemian Rhapsody the movie yet it’s insanely entertaining and I recommend it hard)

43. Age I get mistaken for; With the beard grown out some age definitely mid-20s, without the beard I’ve been called 18 or younger multiple occasions.

44. How I found out about my idol; See idol question above.

45. What my last text message says; “Goodnight”, sent to a friend I was talking to as they were very close to passing out.

46. Turn ons; If you’re able to engage with me on an intellectual level and be able to just be fun and goofy with me.

47. Turn offs; Trump supporters, Naxi sympathizers, and people who refuse to accept scientific evidence for things like vaccines and climate change.

48. Where I want to be right now; In bed, which luckily I am! 😝

49. Favorite picture of my idol; See idol question above.

50. Starsign; Virgo I believe.

51. Something I’m talented at; Random useless fact storage to be used at bar trivia nights.

52. 5 things that make me happy; Being with family, listening to good music, reading a good book, baking something delicious, and long drives with deep talks with friends.

53. Something worrying me at the moment; Not getting the nice job I interviewed for after the interview going as awesome as it did.

54. Tumblr friends; I have a few friends who have tumblrs like @kylorenpunk, @thepunmaster3000, and @be-inspirational-to-others. Though any mutuals I have I would love to become more friendly with so please feel free to send me a message sometime 😂😋

55. Favorite food; Probably chicken Alfredo I think.

56. Favorite animasl; Dolphins and tortoises 🐬🐢

57. Description of best friend; Tall dude with a short trimmed beard. Musically talented in basically any instrument I can think of. Movie lover to the point of almost insanity. Funny dude who also calls me out on my extremely dumb jokes and puns all the goddamn time.

58. Why I joined tumblr; I was told about it by a friend when I needed to vent a lot and she had me make one. Vented very rarely but enjoyed the weirdness of the site.

59. Ask me anything you want (I’m guessing for who asked me this); @kylorenpunk, why the hell do you make me always do all of these? 😂😅 I don’t mind but lord does it take forever to type all this junk out.

#ask post #lots of answers #selfie #for the first time on this site I think #mutuals #feel free to message me sometime #just not these questions again #😅

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xrosegoldxxx · 3 years

Text

***TRIGGER WARNING***

---NOT FOR THE FAINT OF HEART---

“Death is nothing at all.

It does not count.

I have only slipped away into the next room.

Nothing has happened.

Everything remains exactly as it was.

I am I, and you are you,

and the old life that we lived so fondly together is untouched, unchanged.

Whatever we were to each other, that we are still.

Call me by the old familiar name.

Speak of me in the easy way which you always used.

Put no difference into your tone.

Wear no forced air of solemnity or sorrow.

Laugh as we always laughed at the little jokes that we enjoyed together.

Play, smile, think of me, pray for me.

Let my name be ever the household word that it always was.

Let it be spoken without an effort, without the ghost of a shadow upon it.

Life means all that it ever meant.

It is the same as it ever was.

There is absolute and unbroken continuity.

What is this death but a negligible accident?

Why should I be out of mind because I am out of sight?

I am but waiting for you, for an interval,

somewhere very near,

just round the corner.

All is well.

Nothing is hurt; nothing is lost.

One brief moment, and all will be as it was before.

How we shall laugh at the trouble of parting when we meet again”

-- Henry Scott-Holland

Well, if you live long enough, life comes full circle. Maybe it's true, maybe we really do just slowly oxidize the whole time we think we're living. The universe has a sick sense of humor. Let him come home. He deserves that. Let him come home.

Oh Pop, where do I begin? There's so much of your life I wasn’t a part of, but for what I was, you were always my best friend. You did everything with me. You drove to my house every morning so that you could put me on the bus, and you were waiting there for me to get off the bus at the days end. You encouraged me to, and stomped in, puddles with me, regardless how much my mother may have 𝗻𝗼𝘁 wanted me to get dirty.

You taught me so many things this new world can not. You let me help with any project, you guided me through all sorts of crafts. I can weave baskets, I can cane chairs, I can insulate a house. I can cut trim for a door or window, I can chisel away at slate and create anything my mind can sculpt. I can wood burn, I can make jelly and jam, and I can can any vegetable you could name. We grew vegetables every spring and harvested every fall. I'm a little rusty with my trees, but because of you I could name and determine the difference of so many. I know that moss grows on the north side of rocks, but only because we are in the northern hemisphere. I know to leave markers so I don't get lost travelling the woods. I know how to make burgundy, and you taught me how to understand that I can't save everybody. I can try, I can help, but sometimes you have to accept that you can’t change everything. But, it was okay to try. And probably the most important thing you taught me, was how to actually think unbiasedly. Question everything, even your own opinion, ALL the time. Because you may just learn that you have been so very wrong about something, and would do you good to know what's right. Father is an Optimist, Mother was a Pessimist, and you, encouraged me to consider all options, 𝙗𝙚𝙛𝙤𝙧𝙚 concluding.

We've taken so many adventurous rides. You've brought me all over, driven for hours, but yet we never really went all that far. Because you showed me just how much you can miss if you don't stop to smell the roses, and of course, explore. We went hiking, we went metal detecting, we even scoured old bottle sites and went digging to find the rare, unbroken bottles hiding amongst the not so photogenic mounds. Now, we normally never went far, but if we did, we could travel in any direction for five hours, get out the car, and you would know somebody. Or, somebody would know you. The mass amount of people that truly broke when they received the news... You made an impact on so many lives in your lifetime here on this earth that if you did want services, a chapel wouldn't be big enough to fit your following.

I remember the first time I realized you weren’t actually invincible, as my elementary childhood mind had surely believed. We were out in the driveway playing a game I loved. I don’t really recall exactly what the point was, but it was a game where I would run, full force, straight into you. And I would bounce off? You would catch me? The memory fades, possibly because this time was so different. This time you hit the ground, hard. You couldn’t talk, only your eyes could move. I was petrified, and Rose [Gram] must have been watching us through the window because she flew that door open so fast. And let me tell you, this was one of the only times in my life this woman had ever even raised her voice at me, let alone be visibly angry. We were so very scared in the moment, it had been almost an entire minute of you not being able to gasp or take a breath. And then, we heard you squeeze out a little laugh. A breath, and then oh boy, did you start laughing. “Woooo!” you exclaimed. And you continued to just… laugh. I had just literally knocked the wind out of you, and it just took you a minute to get it back. As we stared, star-struck, Rose looked at you, almost maniacally, like “You crazy son of a bitch”

But then, someone tried to break into the house, Rose [Gram] saw them pull in, but it seemed as if they didn't see her. They were casing the property. One of them, relieved himself in her garden. She went to the bedroom to grab the 22 and ended up meeting the second guy at the back door. Wrong move bud. He relieved himself in his pants, and frantically ran away with said first guy. I said, “What if someone actually gets in? What if you didn’t have a gun?” Cause I always ask too many questions, especially as a kid. And you said, “Look at these hands” so sternly, like I should already know. As you opened yours, I realized, they were 𝗯𝗲𝗮𝗿 𝗽𝗮𝘄𝘀, nothing could possibly get past them.

Invincible, yet again.

In highschool, I had a class, we called it “The Little Room”, made a Myspace. Well it was like a study hall, with more work, and we could leave all our textbooks there from all our other classes. At the end of the year some of mine came up missing, and I definitely wouldn’t have taken one home. You received a bill for said text books and were 𝗻𝗼𝘁 impressed. I explained that I, 𝙙𝙚𝙛𝙞𝙣𝙞𝙩𝙚𝙡𝙮 didn’t take one home, and you realized you had never 𝙨𝙚𝙚𝙣 me take one home. So you told me you were going with me to school the next day and 𝗜, was not impressed. We got there early, of course, and I led you to the main office. The Principal came out and said, “Come down to my office, let's chat.” and you responded “No, we can talk right here.” and then the conversation went like this -

You - “How many books do you have in the building?”

Principal - “..What?”

You - ”How many are there of each of these books that you say my granddaughter has not turned in?”

Vice Principal - “Uhm, I'm not sure we keep a log of how many of each book we have? We check them in and out when the student receives the book and the student returns the book.”

You - “I understand that, but if you don’t know how many books you have, then how do you know if any are missing? How do you know if they are just in a different room? Maybe another student grabbed the wrong book on the way out of the classroom?” “ I’ll tell ya what, if you count all the books you have and find my granddaughters are truly missing, I’ll pay this bill.” You set the bill down and told me to get to class.

The principal and vice principal called you by name after that.

I got in a car accident with two of my friends, right on the bottom of the mountain. It was bad, but it could have been so much worse. I was still too young to drive, but I did have some stuff on me that I shouldn’t have. I called you to tell you what had happened. You got there right before the cops, fire department, and ambulance did. You looked at me, reached over and took my bag. The cops asked to search my bag, you told them no, and you had legal right to do that because I was underage. Therefore you absorbed my property as your own and they had no right to search yours in that moment. Once all things were secure I was allowed to go home, you didn't give the bag to me. We got home and you took the bag, turned it inside over the garbage can, and then handed it back to me.

How did you know?

We always did puzzles in the winter and when you started remembering all your mothers old recipes we started baking like crazy. Pineapple Ice-Box Cake, Kuchen, Banana Squash Pie that will destroy any Pumpkin Pie out there. We would pull a couple chairs up and sit in the yard, just watching nature. The mountain is truly euphoric.

I finished our last puzzle together today Pop. I taped the back, and I'm keeping it together, forever. Your hands put some of those pieces in, and I will cherish it until my very last breath.

When Rose [Gram] passed, you started telling me how this red cardinal seemed like it was following you. You would walk out of the house, walk towards the garage. And it would fly from tree to tree or simply just follow you. I told you that a red cardinal does actually symbolize a passed loved one, but you've never really been all that spiritual so you kinda scoffed it off. The next time I came to visit you, I was super surprised to hear you say, “You know, that cardinal came around the other day when I was sitting in the yard. I said ‘Okay Rose’, and it stayed for a bit, and then flew off. I haven't seen her for a couple days.” *𝙝𝙚𝙧*

That may have been when you learned, that I too, could have things to teach you.

But like a light switch, You fell ill. You could not eat, and we did what we thought was right in the moment, they called for help.

It all came on so fast, they thought it was an infection but didn't know where. Your vitals were sporadic. Then after 1000 failed tests they finally realized your aortic valve was only working at 10%. They rushed you to Albany Med, only to be told you had to wait until Monday came to do the surgery. We wait, I visit as often as I am allowed.

Monday came, surgery went well. Your vitals saw a small, but instant improvement. I visited you that night, you slept the whole time I was there. But I spoke to the nurse, and the cardiologist, they said things were looking great. You just had a lot of sedation for the procedure. Couple more days.

Couple more days turned into another week.

You looked me in the eyes and said “If anything else happens to me, don't you dare let them bring me back to the hospital. You let me die in my home.” ”If I knew any of this was going to happen, I would have never let them call the ambulance, I know that's probably hard for you to hear, but it's the goddamn truth.” I vowed to you right then and there, that I was going to bring you home. And right after that, is when your mentality started to slip. The very next time I saw you, you had almost no idea what was going on, where you were, what had happened to you. My heart shattered, the nurses said “It's just hospital delirium, he’ll be fine when he gets home.” Okay, so 𝙬𝙝𝙚𝙣 can he come home? Just another couple days, another couple days.

The next time I came to visit, you stressfully said “There was helicopters.. all day..”. I knew it bothered me then, but I never thought… You’re a Veteran... I should have said something..

I met with your brother and your son, discussed what we need to do. I called to check in with you, and the nurse said you lashed out, they had to give you a sedative.

Was there helicopters that day?? Did you reach for him when the sounds were deafening? Was he fluid enough to understand the severity of attack? Did you know he had to survive by the skin of his teeth and come home aside possibly not a soul he departed with?

I saw death taking hold of you. And I saw that you, too, knew you didn't have much time left. And you were all of the sudden terrified, the most I have ever seen you. But not terrified of the inevitable, but rather of the sure fact that you may die in the hospital. And that was not what you wanted at all. You felt so out of control, because no one there was really listening, no one there really understood the severity of this realization. And I knew then, that I was going to do whatever it humanly took, to get you home. So I walked in that Monday, and refused to leave the fucking building without you.

Your heart hurting, your soul grew more tired, and I told your brother that we weren’t waiting any fucking longer, you were coming home with us, today. “All the paperwork isn’t signed yet”. “Well you’re gonna have to physically remove me from this fucking room if you think I’m leaving here with out him. I’m not here for visiting hours”

Some may think this wasn't the right thing to do, but you don't know him, I do.

You came home that day Pop, and the smile that rose along your cheeks as we guided you up those four familiar stairs into your home, will be something that sticks with my soul forever.

The first day was a bit hard, but gradually you came back to us. You became lucid, you knew things and remembered even more. You told us old stories that somehow we had still yet to hear. And we had hope, oh we had so much hope.

The next day was even better, you ate solid food and requested certain items to be made for the following day. And we all embraced how comforting it was to know that your spirit was returning, and we continued to have so very much hope. I stayed with you almost all day and night, we made you comfortable wherever it was you wanted to be, and you were happy.

I knew I wasn't going to make it. Waking up to two missed calls and another one coming in.. I knew I was already too late. As the voice of your brother through the speaker asked, “Deanna, does he have a DNR? Does he have a Do Not Resuscitate request?” The ambulance was there, performing CPR as we spoke. Your nurse was right there with you, checking vitals, seeing they were so good, having no reason whatsoever why you had just completely lost all oxygen in your body. I responded “I...I don't know”, but I did, I always have. I called your lawyer and by-passed your sons’ consent because I knew they were going to try and take you back there, and you would be stripped of your dying wish. I ran out the door and floored my jeep far faster than I should admit, and then I got the text I was conscientiously waiting for. Documentation, signed by you, requesting no heroic efforts be made on your behalf if you are considered terminally ill. I sent it to your brother who was at your side, my soul clenching, knowing in my heart what this would do. I knew once they received this information, they would legally have to stop resuscitation, and I also knew I wasn't going to make it before you were gone. I suddenly realized, this was the most selfless thing I could ever have to do. Cause Pop, I really wish I could have been there with you. I wish I could have held your hand and told you it was okay, everything would be alright. But though I wasn't with you, at least I was able to do this one last thing for you. At least I could grant you the wish of allowing you to die in the home that you built with your very own hands. As soon as I sent that text, revealing this legal right to refuse care, Free Bird started playing on the radio. “If I leave here tomorrow, Would you still remember me? For I must be traveling on now, 'Cause there's too many places I've got to see.” “Bye bye, baby, it's been sweet love, yeah. Though this feeling I can’t change.” “If I stay here with you girl, things just couldn't be the same. Please don't take it so badly, cause lord knows I'm to blame. I'm as free as a bird now, and this bird you cannot change”. You've never been a musical person, but it was as if you were singing to me. As the song ended, your brother was calling, you had just passed, but I knew that, didn't I? You had just told me. As I ascended the mountain, I passed the ambulance, bringing such a realization that this, was it. When I arrived there were so many vehicles in the yard I just pulled in and parked. Everyone tried stalling me, but I had to see you. I sat with you, I held your hand, hoping you were finally at rest. No more pain, no more loneliness, no more confusion. I did it, Pop. I got you home. And you finally became comfortable. Everything was starting to be okay again. Your vitals were so good, and getting better. And then it was as if your soul finally decided you had fought enough, you were where you belonged, and you could finally be at peace. As I left your home, for the first time without hearing you say “I love you”, Carry on Wayward son played, followed by Tuesdays Gone with the Wind. “Carry on, my wayward son, There'll be peace when you are done. Lay your weary head to rest, Don't you cry no more.” Tuesday was the last day I saw you. And I just knew, that I wasn't broken because you had left us, you deserved rest. I was broken because selfishly, I am going to miss you more than I can even comprehend.

I love you, I love you so very much. Embrace Rose, because she, has missed you dearly.

0 notes

stargazerdaisy · 6 years

Text

11 Questions x 3

I was tagged by @kyliafanfiction, @trinitea-fics, and @skyeward-otp forever ago, but there’s no way I can come up with 33 questions. So I’ll answer the 33 and come up with a new 11. Theoretically. We’ll see.

From Kylia:

1.) Favorite Trope To Subvert?

One of my favorites that I (think I) pulled off was in Please Don’t Make Me! , where Skye is all whispering in Ward’s ear about them sneaking off and finding a way to ~entertain~ themselves, and it certainly seems like sexy times are about to happen. And then...it’s Mario Kart. I love twisting people’s expectations for the sake of comedy and fun.

2.) Favorite Trope to ‘Play Straight’, as it were?

Bedsharing. I am weeeeeeak for bedsharing. GImme gimme gimme. I want those punks to wake up spooning and entwined and then the awkward to set in, but actually push them to deal with their feelings. Yes please I need it now.

3.) What is that one character that, no matter how much you might like to be open minded about other fans having their own opinions and whatnot, when you see people defending them, you just cannot stop rolling your eyes and being at the very least somewhat angry, if not raging?

Melinda May and Phil Coulson....

4.) Favorite Thing To Put Ketchup On?

The garbage can.

Haha, just kidding. I’m not a huge ketchup fan. I prefer bbq sauce or ranch for most things you’d use with ketchup. But ketchup on a burger or hot dog works well (if bbq sauce isn’t an option).

5.) Cake or Death?

Cake.

6.) Is there a Spoon?

47 of them to be precise.

7.) What is the Average Airborne Velocity Of An Unladen Swallow?

African or European?

8.) Did you get the references in questions 5, 6, and 7 without having to look them up?

5 sounds familiar, but no. 6, not even in the slightest. 7, my answer should explain that one.

9.) Silliest name you’ve ever heard for a person/thing/group?

Oh, oh, oh, I know I have some doozies of nicknames, but I’m drawing a complete blank right now.

10.) What is a book series that is nominally completed that you’d like to see more installments of?

I’m a big fan of the Jack Ryan books by Tom Clancy, but well, Clancy died a few years ago, and none of the co-writers can match his original style and quality (honestly, neither can his own later books). So while that verse could easily accommodate more stories, and I could love them, it’s not going to happen with the quality I want, so I wouldn’t want people to try and subsequently fail.

11.) Song you both hate but sometimes can’t stop listening too?

There was an *Nsync song back in the day that I hated. But I listened to it enough times that I ended up learning all the lyrics and singing along with. That’s happened with a few others too. There are some One Direction songs that I like and it pisses me off that I like them.

From Trini:

1. A song you are listening to on loop right now

Actually no, I’m not this week. Which honestly is kinda rare. Then again, I’ve been listening to a couple of playlists with The War on it and that song always gets to me, so it’s back in my mind again.

2. What is a popular show/book/movie/podcast could you not get into/have no interest in?

I’ve never gotten into Supernatural. Just never had that much interest, despite having a big fondness for Jensen Ackles.

3. What is the last movie you watched?

Thor: Ragnarok

4. Opinion of Valentine’s Day?

It’s nice to have a day where you make an extra effort to show your love for others. It’s just as lovely to do so with family and friends as it is with a romantic partner. And I definitely prefer, low-key, thoughtful gifts/activities.

5. A show, book or movie that you consider “Your childhood”

Inspector Gadget was one of my absolutely faves when I was a kid. Also, totally loved Ghostwriter and wanted to start my own crime-solving group. Alas, we did not have a ghost to aid us. Magic School Bus was also watched a lot and I can still remember the ending bit with all the kids making phone calls.

6. Favourite Youtuber/what you do watch on Youtube?

I mostly listen to music on YouTube. I don’t follow any particular person. I’ve been enjoying mashup videos lately. Imagine Dragons are great for mashups. (There. Happy Megan?)

7. What do you need to buy?

A new battery for my laptop. It would be nice to use it when it wasn’t plugged in. After all, that’s a big part of the whole laptop thing.

8. What merch are you close to impulse buying?

At this moment, nothing really. But I had strongly considered buying Chloe Bennet’s Fight Like A Girl shirt. If I had had the money at the time, I probably would have.

9. What’s the weather outside?

Right at this moment, overcast, grey, cool (low 40s), but happily, not raining. Typical late March weather in this area.

10. A thing that you recently accomplished that you are proud of?

@mframe and I spent a good chunk of a day (or was it a couple days?) and built a form within the test environment of our database. Built it from the ground up, adding groups, creating custom fields, making them calculated fields, setting up a bunch of codes in order to make them calculate correctly, etc. And it works really well. I really like it. Now if only the assholes that I work with would shut the f*** up and get on board, we could actually use it.

11. Movie/book/Tv show/podcast coming out soon that you’re excited for

I NEED TO BUY MY TICKETS FOR INFINITY WAR. Also, The Incredibles 2.

From Gilly:

1. If you won $1,000,000 dollars, what’s the first thing you’d do?

Pay off debt.

2. A movie/tv show that you always go back to whenever you’re bored or don’t know what to watch?

Friends, Community, Brooklyn Nine Nine are all great standbys for when I can’t decide on what I’m in the mood for.

3. Most meaningful book you’ve ever read.

That’s an excellent question. To Kill A Mockingbird is one of those books that’s always stuck with me. I need to re-read it again, in fact.

4. Have you ever gotten anyone to get hooked on a tv show? How did they feel about it?

HAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAAH. Yes. I mean, nothing on the scale of Megan getting me hooked on AoS. But I’ve convinced a couple friends to try Doctor Who, I got @evieoh to watch Community, and then she and I ganged up on @airaze-blog and made him watch all of Alias. There was a lot of screaming. We won’t talk about Orphan Black.

5. Has anyone ever gotten you hooked on a tv show? How did you feel about it?

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

Yes.

As referenced above, Megan was the one that really pushed me to try AoS again. (I’d watched the first 3 or 4 episodes when it first aired, but lost interest and was always having to watch it later b/c of committments those nights.) There was another friend of ours at work, who pushed along with her, and my bff watched it as well and encouraged me. I was kind of hesitant, didn’t care a whole lot, but I was getting into the MCU as a whole, so I decided to give it a shot again.

Amazingly enough, while I knew Hydra comes out of the shadows and about Jiaying’s evil turn, Double Agent Ward wasn’t spoiled for me. I was SHOCKED at that. And I’m so glad, because it was SUCH A GOOD TWIST.

But yeah.....that may have just slightly, dramatically changed the trajectory of my life. I wouldn’t have had an Aussie live on my couch for the last 6 months and that would have truly been tragic.

6. Where’s your dream vacation?

Croatia. I’ve been dying to go there for years and it gets more intense every day.

7. Favorite social media app/site.

Tumblr. I get the most interaction and the widest range here.

8. Dream job.

Stay at home mom would be my preferred occupation. For a profession, lactation consultant is my dream. We’ll see if I ever get there.

9. Favorite genre to read/write.

Uhhh.....in terms of fanfic genres/tropes, I love enemies to friends to lovers (on any scale).

10. Favorite genre to watch.

I love spy shows. Gimmes spies anyday.

11. Favorite quote at the moment.

CHICKENS! (just for you, Evie)

My questions - sorry dudes, only doing 11.

What is your favorite season?

What are your feeling on A.I. (the concept, not the movie)?

What is the oldest piece of technology in your home? Do you use it? Do you know how?

Hummus. Thoughts?

Tell me about a favorite birthday or holiday present.

What pair of shoes do you wear the most? Are they your favorite or just the most functional or something else?

What’s your dream fanfic?

How easy is it for you to unplug?

What is a hobby/activity/something that you have an absurd amount of supplies/tools for?

What is your guilty pleasure snack food?

Are you more a dialogue or song lyrics referencer?

I tag: @evieoh, @mframe, @agenthaywood, @airaze-blog, @helloimthedoctor, @agentsofsunnydale, @queermageddon, @livesindaydreams, @orlissa, @vesperass-anuna, and @in-the-moving-castle

#ask daisy #I'm always down for a good ask meme #kylia the egomaniac #trini is terrific #gilly is darling

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bangtanfanfiction · 7 years

Text

Secret relationship || 02

PREVIOUS PART

♢ Pairing: Jungkook x Celeb!Reader

♢ Word count: 4.7 k

♢ Genre: Fluff, angst

⌲ Description: Not only is Y/N a famous singer in America, up in the ranks with people like Justin Bieber and Ariana Grande. But she’s also dating a k-pop idol…in secret.

Y/N let out a sigh from where she was lounging on the couch in her apartment. The remote in her hand was pointed at the plasma tv, as she flicked through the channels without any thought. She finally decided to stop on a rerun from a Game of Thrones episode that aired last year, and absently paid attention to the plot. Despite knowing everything that would happen already.

It’s been three days since the Billboard music awards, and two days since her interaction with BTS had blown up on social media. The issue was still a big thing going on at the very moment, but luckily it didn’t get any more extreme than that. So for now, there was still no need to drag in both of their companies to calm the storm. From what she had seen, the fans were continuing to try and come up with different theories on how they had met before and the possibility of it. There were arguments right and left from what she had read, everyone convinced that they were right. It was a bit entertaining to watch at first, to see how creative fans could become. Until they started to blow up her own accounts that is. Yes, Y/N had millions of followers before all of this, but they were all her own fans that appreciated who she was as an artist and person. Now BTS fans were on every single instagram and twitter post, commenting about Jungkook, the boys and how they could have met. A majority also writing things that were both hurtful and inappropriate. But hate comments never bothered her before, so seeing them coming from kpop fans didn’t change anything. She mostly just ignored them, and sometimes even liked a few that were so ridiculous she even snorted. But it was mostly to antagonize the haters so they knew she had read it, and couldn’t give two shits about their opinion.

But it wasn’t only the fans that were discussing about this particular topic. Y/N had noticed how korean websites like Allkpop and Soompi kept bringing up her and Jungkook. But she wasn’t so worried about them, seeing how Amber had warned her that those sites were full of bullshit anyways and nothing to trust. The artist found that out by reading one of their articles that spoke of a “close friend” of her that had somewhat confirmed that they had met for the first time six months ago. At that she couldn’t help but laugh out loud, seeing how Amber was the only one there when she had met Jungkook after all, and it wasn’t even close to six months. She was intrigued to see who this “close friend” was, and was convinced that it was only some attention seeking person that wanted their five minute of fame by being mentioned somewhere. Or maybe just the news site trying to get more views by coming up with fake news.

With a tired sigh she took her attention away from the tv show, seeing how it wasn’t able to distract her thoughts to something else. Y/N knew that Jungkook was probably in Sydney at the moment and preparing for their concert, or currently having it. She never really paid attention to the time difference anyway. She was back home in L.A relaxing in what seemed like forever. After her new album had dropped there were continuous days of interviews and performances. Not that she minded, it was her job after all and she loved it. But having a relaxing day at home was always the best. As Y/N absently paid attention to the show, her phone began to ring as she stretched her body out to reach it far on the table in front of her.

“Elizabeth,” she greeted her manager.

“Y/N!” the older woman replied. “I have very good news!”

“How good?” The girl questioned curiously.

“So good that it will bring you closer to your loving boyfriend,” her tone was smug on the other end of the line, and Y/N straightened up at her words.

“What does Jungkook have to do with this?” she asked confused.

“Everything darling. I’ve managed to make a deal with their label, and the two of you are going to have a collab!”

Y/N knew that this was the moment for her to be ecstatic and jump around in joy, but she couldn’t help but deflate a bit at the news. Considering the circumstances she just didn’t find the will to be happy about it.

“Not to sound negative, but have you not been on social media the last three days?” she asked her manager in disbelief.

“Of course I have, but that is nothing to worry about. You get to collab with one of the biggest names in k-pop at the moment, that will make great PR!”

Y/N closed her eyes and let out a small sigh, “Let me guess, I don’t have a say in this?”

“Not really no,” the woman admitted. “But you better get packing, we’re leaving for Seoul tonight, bybye!”

“Wait what, toni- hello?” The young star couldn’t help but gape down on her phone in shock.

Even though this was such a typical move of her manager to do, she would always be surprised when it happened. Elizabeth liked to drop an unexpected bomb on her from time to time. And that included spontaneous flights to another country across the world on the very same day they would be traveling. Seeing how she didn’t have a choice or say in it, she dragged herself up from the couch with an annoyed groan and into her room. Pulling out a large suitcase Y/N began looking through her closet. She didn’t even know how long they were staying, and just took things which she deemed necessary for traveling. Like a couple of outfits, underwear, electronics and toiletries. After about an hour of packing, the suitcase was full enough to last two weeks the most. Glancing at the time, she still had a couple of hours left and got changed into a pair of black leggings and one of Jungkook’s hoodies she had managed to steal from him. It was grey and reached to her thighs. It looked really big on her smaller form, but it was probably the most comfortable thing she had at the moment. Going into the kitchen, she took out a box of ramen and began to prepare the easy dinner for today. It didn’t take her long before she was seated by the kitchen counter, and practically slurping down the food as she sent a message to her boyfriend.

Feeling satisfied that Jungkook was not feeling guilty, she suddenly heard her front door open and Elizabeth came waltzing in with her usual bright grin, but frowned the moment she saw the half empty ramen box in front of the young star, who smiled sheepishly.

“You really need to learn the meaning of ‘healthy’,” she stated.

“I was hungry and there was no time to make dinner, let me live,” the last sentence was grumbled out as she emptied the rest of the box and disposed of the garbage and chopsticks.

Elizabeth only sighed in reply. “Have you packed yet, we don’t have much time.”

“It’s in my room,” Y/N nodded her head in the direction as her manager walked in without a word and came back out dragging her suitcase with her.

“Let’s go.”

With those words Y/N made sure to turn off all the lights and close all the windows and doors before slipping on her pair of worn out sneakers and following her manager, after making sure the door was locked. Throwing the hood over her head, she muffled a yawn as she got inside the car and did not look forward to the long road ahead.

Her phone screen showed that the clock was five in the morning when they landed in Seoul, and Y/N was shook awake from her sleep and she resisted the urge to whine. Despite having the luxury of being seated in first class, she never felt comfortable sleeping completely on a plane. She was always half awake and usually ended up having the worst jetlag to deal with later. Sleepily following her manager and two bodyguards they breezed through the check in and picked up all their luggages, as one of the guards had gone off to pick up their car. The airport was still buzzing with life despite the time, as Y/N pulled the hood down lower and put on a pair of sunglasses to avoid being seen. As they got outside she didn’t waste any time and quickly got into the van, hoping that no one had seen her.

“Where are we going Liz?”

Her manager that was seated upfront with the bodyguard was scrolling through her phone, dealing with a few important details before replying. “We’re going to the Big Hit building first to have a meeting about the collaboration, then we’ll leave straight to the hotel.”

Settling back in the car seat, Y/N put on the seat belt before taking out her phone and went on social media to try and past the time, but even for a celebrity like her there wasn’t much happening of her interests. The topic of her and Jungkook was already getting old, and she felt like she had read everything that needed to be known. Turning on some music, she blocked out the outside world with her earplugs as she leaned back and closed her eyes, investing herself in the music. Ed Sheeran’s Thinking out loud was the song playing while she gently swayed to the music. The lyrics were so sweet and romantic that she couldn’t help but think about Jungkook. It was moments like these she felt incredibly lucky to have someone like him in her life. Even though they practically lived on each side of the globe he never failed to make sure he would always be there for her. Y/N was also a 100% supportive each time their group had a comeback and new song, buying it on Itunes and getting the physical copies. Whenever they had a concert near her, she would make the time to go and support all seven of them. It wasn’t any different for her case. It wasn’t often she had concerts in Asia, but if her tours took her there, Seoul would always be number one on the list. Jungkook would disguise himself to go and support his girlfriend, either with some of his members or sometimes even alone. He didn’t really mind who he went with, as long as he was there in person. Y/N would always think about his sweet smile and laugh whenever she was having a bad, or missed him too much. How his strong arms would wrap around her when they were cuddling. How beautiful his voice sounded when he softly sang to her underneath the stars. How loving his kisses would be and how he would prolong them as much as he could to just preserve the moment. Despite the fact that their meeting were extremely limited, the both of them would always treasure the moments they actually got together. Even if it only is for a day, like at the Billboards or even a few minutes.

From what she could remember they’ve only had one serious fight. It was nearing their six month anniversary together, and she had flown to Seoul for a small visit. Jungkook was going through a particularly hard time and was often on edge and easy to anger. On that very day he just decided to take it out on her, and it was almost the reason that they had broken up. He was feeling extremely guilty after that and promised to never be an asshole ever again.

Y/N was relaxing on the couch of the boys’ dorm while she waited for Jungkook to return from his schedule. They were practicing today and he told her that he would be able to leave a bit earlier to spend some time together before the rest of the boys would be coming home. Even if he did have his own room, neither of them felt comfortable to do something when the others were home. She glanced at the time and saw that it was fifteen minutes past nine in the evening, as she let out a yawn when she heard the code of the dorm being entered and the door slammed open and shut again. Frowning, she slowly stood up as Jungkook came walking in, his mouth in a tight line.

“Hey, you’re back,” she smiled and approached him, but it quickly vanished as she saw he didn’t return it and simply went into the kitchen to roughly grab a water bottle and gulping it down.

“I’ve chosen a movie for us to watch-”

“I’m not in the mood,” Jungkook had grumbled out as he brushed past her surprised form and straight into his room.

Feeling confused and slightly hurt by his rejection, Y/N followed him and stopped by the door only to see him grabbing a couple of clothes for a shower, but he was doing everything a bit more aggressively than necessary and she knew that something wasn’t right. She saw the way his muscles were tensed underneath his damp t-shirt after the practice. Not only that, she had never seen him act this way before, so that was a dead giveaway.

“Babe, what’s wrong?” Y/N asked concerned and took a step inside, only to halt as he let out a breath.

“Nothing’s wrong,” he replied in a hard voice.

“You sure about that?” the young star questioned again.

“Yes, i’m pretty sure I know what I feel.”

“You don’t actually think i’m going to believe you with the way you’re behaving,” she raised an eyebrow and crossed her arms.

“I’m not doing anything,” Jungkook defended himself with a mock raise of his hands, as the irritation began to creep up on her.

“Hey, i’m trying to help you here, no need to act like an asshole,” Y/N couldn’t help but snap lightly.

“It’s none of your business, alright,” he said with a look as he brushed past her again, a bundle of clothes in his hands heading towards the bathroom.

“Stop right there!” her voice demanded him, as Jungkook did stop in his place with a exaggerated move before turning to face her with an annoyed expression.

“What?”

“Don’t use that tone on me,” she glared. “You’re going to walk in here and telling me that it’s none of my business when my boyfriend is obviously angry about something?”

“That’s because you wouldn’t understand,” he got out through gritted teeth, as if containing his anger.

“What wouldn’t I understand? That’s what I’m trying to ask you!” Y/N couldn’t help but exclaim. “I can’t help you if you won’t let me.”

“I don’t need your help, alright. Leave me alone,” Jungkook said with a glare and turned back around to walk away.

Y/N couldn’t help the hurt that she felt inside of her at the way he was treating her. This was so unlike her sweet boyfriend that she got to know and love. Swallowing away the lump in her throat she opened her mouth to reply. “If you walk away from me now, i’m walking out that door and never coming back,” her voice held the finality that even made him stop.

Jungkook turned to face her with disbelief, “Are you being serious right now?”

“Deadly.”

He let out a laugh that didn’t hold any humor, but more like how ridiculous it sounded. “Why are you the one getting angry at me?” he snapped.

“Because you’re being an asshole at the moment, I don’t have time for assholes,” Y/N said without blinking.

That was the moment the front door had opened as the boys filed into the dorm, speaking in pleasant voices and sharing laughs after their hard day of practice. The couple didn’t pay them any mind as both of them were too caught up in their anger.

“Asshole? Well you’re being an egotistical bitch right now,” Jungkook retorted and watched as her mouth fell open at his term.

Silence fell across the newcomers as their eyes widened in shock of what they just heard coming out of their maknae’s mouth. It happened before anyone could stop it, as the sound of a slap echoed through the living room and his head had snapped to the side by the surprise of it. The stinging feeling on his cheek only made it clearer and that he didn’t imagine it. She really did slap him. Gulping down the slight guilt he felt, he turned back around to face her with a small glare only to soften a bit to see her eyes filled with angry tears.

“I don’t know what the hell your problem is,” Y/N got out in a shaking voice, the anger and hurt was as clear as the full moon outside the window. “But i’m not staying around to find out.”

With those last words she roughly picked up her jacket and purse, not even bothering to put on her shoes as she carried them in her hands and pushed past the rest of the boys - who didn’t even try to stop her. They were all way too shocked of what they just saw happening. When the door slammed shut behind her, Yoongi was the one to speak up first. He had a disappointed expression on as he looked at their youngest member. Jungkook could almost feel his resolve break down at that and only looked down at the floor.

“I don’t what just happened here Jungkook, but that was uncalled for,” his voice scolded.

He couldn’t help but throw his clothes away in frustration as he let out a curse and the other didn’t even bother to lecture him about it.

“I fucked it up, didn’t I?” Jungkook sighed and looked at his hyungs who all gave him a look.

“What do you think?” Seokjin replied sarcastically.

“What the hell are you still doing here then?” Their leader spoke up with an eyebrow raised. Jungkook only looked at him confused.

“Go after her you fool!” Jimin was the one to explain, as the youngest mouth opened in realization and he quickly raced towards the door and stumbled out while pulling on his shoes.

It had only been a few minutes since Y/N managed to get away, and Jungkook didn’t even bother to use the elevator as he ran down all the steps and out the door. Frantically looking around, he could see her familiar form getting further away as he chased after her.

“Y/N!” He called out.

Y/N on the other hand had felt the anger leave the moment she got out of the dorm, and the only thing remaining was the hurt and confusion. She couldn’t understand why Jungkook would treat her that way when she had done nothing wrong. And that he had called her a bitch made it even worse. She really didn’t plan to slap him, it just happened in the heat of the moment and she couldn’t help but feel a bit guilty at that. But when she suddenly heard his voice call out her name, the young celebrity turned around in disbelief to see him running towards her and stopping in front of her with heavy breaths.

“What do you want?” Y/N mumbled out as she looked anywhere but his face.

He had another thought as he suddenly grabbed her face with both of his hands gently, and she was surprised to see his eyes were slowly filling up with unshed tears.

“Babe, i’m so sorry!” He said desperately. “I shouldn’t have spoken to you that way, it was unforgivable and i’m an idiot, I know that. Please forgive me?”

She felt the lump in her throat return, “It really hurt, Jungkook,” she whispered out. “What you said to me, and the way you behaved. I don’t even know what I did wrong.”

“I know, I know! I’m sorry, you didn’t do anything wrong, I promise. I was having a hard time during dance practice and kept messing up. I was angry at myself on the way home and let it all out on you. You should hate me, I know that as well. But please forgive me, I love you too much,” Jungkook almost whimpered out as a few tears trailed down his cheeks as he continued to cradle her face in his hands.

Y/N’s heart hurt as she looked at how broken he was at the possibility of her leaving him, and she didn’t hesitate to wrap her arms around his waist as he quickly returned the tight hug with his chin resting on top of her head.

“I forgive you,” she whispered.

“I’m so sorry. I promise to never do that again. I deserved that slap.”

Pulling away the slightest, she let out a small smile. “Yes you did. But I love you too.”

At those words he had bent down and pressed his lips against hers in a passionate kiss underneath the moonlight, that really showed how much he loved her. Both of them had returned to the dorm a while later, both wearing grins as the boys waited in anticipation and sighed out in relief at the sight. All eight of them had spent the rest of the evening watching a comedy movie together, and sharing takeout food as they kept each other company.

Y/N was shaken out of the memory as the car came to a halt and she looked outside to see that they had arrived at the new Big Hit building. Getting out of the car, the stuffed her hands in the pocket of the hoodie as she followed her manager in the building, who then asked for entrance at the reception. After their visit being confirmed they were escorted to the elevator that brought them up the level the company was located. Stepping outside they were then showed to the meeting room. Knocking gently, someone from the inside told us to come in as the door opened. It was an average sized room with white walls, and some pictures hanging in the background. There was a large table with chairs placed around it, and Y/N figured this was a regular meeting room. She then noticed that Jungkook was there as well, along with his manager and their PDnim. He stood up to greet her with a small hug, that she returned quickly before sitting down beside each other.

“Thank you for coming Y/N,” Bang Shi Hyuk smiled at her as she returned it nervously.

Elizabeth had a translator placed by her side, seeing how she was only one not speaking fluent korean.

“I’m sure you both already know why we’re here today,” the man addressed the two young adults as they exchanged looks.

“Is there a problem with what happened at the Billboard awards, PDnim?” Jungkook asked him.

The older man just smiled gently. “Oh no, don’t worry about that. We just like to take precautions in case it does get out of hand. We came up with the idea to have you two collaborate on a song, so the the fans can calm down. They of course don’t need to know how long this has been going on, we can just tell them a little white lie that this has been in the works before the award show. And that will explain why you were so familiar with all of them. It would also bring great PR exposure for both sides.”

“Are you sure this is going to work, sir?” Y/N asked when she felt Jungkook grab her hand underneath the table.

“Unless the two of you are comfortable with going public, I don’t see why not,” Bang Shi Hyuk replied.

Her eyes widened a bit at his words. “Would you be okay with that? Us going public I mean.”

This time he gave her a more serious look, “That is not my choice to make. The personal lives of my artists are up to them, but of course there are consequences to think about if you really are considering to go public.”

His words made sense as she thought about it. Personally, for her it wouldn’t make much of a difference, seeing how the culture she lived in, this was a normal occurrence. But she couldn’t just forget how this would be for Jungkook. It wasn’t just him she had to think about. But he was in a group with six other boys that this could affect. She didn’t want to be the reason of their career falling apart after so much work. As the meeting came to an end, their managers and PDmin were the once to leave first, leaving Jungkook and Y/N alone in the meeting room.

“How you feeling about this?” He asked her, his hand never leaving hers.

“It’s not that bad,” she smiled up at him. “At least we’ll have a reason to meet up more.”

“True,” he chuckled before sobering up. “What do you think about going public?”

She bit her lip at the question. “Of course it would be nice to be able and go around freely. But I just see too many bad things coming out of it, and you guys don’t deserve that treatment.”

He nodded in understanding at her words before another cute smile came upon his face and he moved closer to her. His cupped her cheek as he bent down to press his lips against hers in a short but sweet kiss.

“We’re together now, let’s do something.”

Y/N raised her eyebrows, “Don’t you have any schedules?”

“Not for the rest of the day,” he shrugged.

“It’s barely 7 AM, and I’m kind of jetlagged,” she pouted.

“We can relax at my dorm?” Jungkook suggested in a hopeful tone. “Come on, we barely see each other as it is.”

“Okay fine,” Y/N relented with a smile and was rewarded with a bright grin and he began to drag her out of the room.

While they walked through the corridors of Big Hit entertainment another thought came to her mind.

“Jungkook,” she said as he hummed in reply. “What would you do if your relationship did get public. Without out permission.”

“You mean we get busted?” He asked amused and she rolled her eyes.

“Well yeah that.”

“If that happens, i’ll probably write a letter to explain the situation for the ARMY’s.”

“Then what?” Y/N looked at him in anticipation as he gave a confused glance.

“Theen we’ll just have to wait and see?” he finished confused. “Where are you going with this?”

“I don’t know...” His girlfriend sighed. “I guess I was just expecting something.”

There was a moment of silence. “You expected me to break up with you?”

She met his eyes and tried to shrug casually, but he saw through her strong act and let out a sigh. “Y/N, I will never break up with you, no matter what fans or someone else says. I love you, alright.”

His words did assure her, but she couldn’t just help but wonder. “But it’s your career Jungkook, what if I ruin it? And the boys as well!”

Jungkook put his hands on her shoulders and hoped it would calm down her thoughts. “You won’t,” he stated. “EXO’s Baekhyun went through the same thing with a dating scandal, as well as Kai. You don’t see their careers going down,” he pointed out. “And I believe that majority of the fans will support us.”

He sounded so sure that she couldn’t help but smile and nod in agreement. “Okay, I believe you.”

He grinned before giving her a quick peck and taking a hold of her hand again. “Good, now come on. The members will be happy to see you!”

#BTS #jungkook #jungkook fanfiction #jungkook fanfic #jungkook imagine #bts fanfiction #jungkook fluff #jungkook angst

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leo25599-blog · 7 years

Text

Canada and Vietnam - Life of an international student.

Hi everybody!

My name is Quoc-Luong Nguyen, I’m 18 years old and I am a Vietnamese international student currently studying at Fraser International College in Canada. Since I’m going to be building my future life upon my time of stay here in Vancouver and hence the fact that I was born and raised in Vietnam, it came as an interest of mine to be comparing my current life in Canada and the life I had in Vietnam since I was a kid.

I was born and raised in Hanoi, Vietnam, having finished my 12 years of study there as well. I moved to Vancouver about 4 months ago to enroll in Computing Science course at FIC.

It’s been an amazing time for me here, at least up until now it is and hopefully will stay that way for a much longer period of time. But enough with the chit-chat, let’s go straight into the important matter here which is my life here in Vancouver and my 2 favorite places in Vietnam - Hanoi and Ho Chi Minh City.

Vancouver - considered one of the most desirable cities to be living in, which is very true, in my opinion. It’s beautiful, especially full of trees and nature here is incredible. The people are particularly polite and there is a lot of social norms which were a little bit strange to me at first. For example, saying “Thank you” every time you get off the bus, and also saying “Sorry” a lot as well,... It shows a big culture involvement to the people’s mentality. They’re just built that way and it’s an amazing thing to have the chance to interact with them every day. It’s a city that holds over half a million people and is situated in South Western Canada, inside the province of British Columbia and lies on the coast of Pacific Ocean where it is sheltered from any extreme weather by Vancouver Island. ( Information based on http://www.infovancouver.com/facts-for-visitors/facts, retrieved on 11/23/2017 ). The city has a size of 114 square kilometers and a population of 631,486 people ( according to 2016 census ). ( Statistics based on http://vancouver.ca/news-calendar/geo.aspx , retrieved on 11/24/2017 ).

Vancouver from an upper view :

( Source: http://www.frogbox.com/vancouver/ , retrieved on 11/20/2017 )

Vancouver also has many worthy sites to explore to admire the nature and beauty that the city has to offer such as Stanley Park, Queen Elizabeth Park, Burnaby Mountain, Vancouver Aquarium... which are the go-to’s when you come to Vancouver.

Some pictures of the sceneries above :

Stanley Park from an upper view

( https://airwavesmusic.ca/airwaves-news/vancouver-the-stanley-park-wedding/ , retrieved on 11/24/2017 ).

Queen Elizabeth Park

( http://photokaz.com/blog/2012/10/12/fall-colours-in-vancouvers-queen-elizabeth-park/ , retrieved on 11/24/2017 ).

Burnaby Mountain

( https://www.trekearth.com/gallery/North_America/Canada/Western/British_Columbia/Burnaby/photo1056949.htm , retrieved on 11/24/2017 ).

Scenes from inside the Vancouver Aquarium

( https://www.vanaqua.org/plan/weddings/photo-gallery , retrieved on 11/24/2017 ).

But then again, there’s a downside to everything isn’t there? And that’s the weather, don’t get me wrong, usually, it is very nice out and peaceful, the temperature doesn’t get too high and when it’s cold it doesn’t feel that cold because there’s not much wind. The only problem that I think everyone who is living here can relate to is the rain. It rains pretty frequently and you can only choose to put up with it because it is the weather itself.

Let’s talk more about the culture of Vancouver, based on information from https://www.tourismvancouver.com/vancouver/history/5-cultures-that-shaped-vancouver/ ( retrieved on 11/22/2017 ), Vancouver’s culture is shaped by 5 different origins of people :

+First Nations +Chinese

+Japanese + Italian

+Indian

You can see pretty much immediately when you come to Vancouver that there are so many types of people from everywhere, you turn 4 ways and there are different people from completely different parts of the world standing in front of you. And that’s an amazing thing to see, the diversity and home-like environment can really keep you up on your feet in difficult days as an international student.

Vancouver’s food culture is also highly influenced by the cultures above, it is famous for their diverse types of dishes, all the way from Japanese sushi, Chinese dim sum to Vietnamese Pho and Indian chicken masala.

The food here is amazing, I can find cuisines from all over the globe within steps along Downtown or wherever they’re positioned. I went to this dim sum place on Victoria Dr. for lunch a couple of weeks ago with my relatives, and it was absolutely mind-blowing, the dishes were made by the original Chinese people so the taste was very accurate. It really triggered my sense of finding great restaurants here and was a great introduction to me with the diversity that Vancouver can offer. I’d give a recommendation to every person who came to Vancouver for the first time wanting to try out Western cuisine to go to, at least once, Neighbours also on Victoria Dr. if my memory serves me right and order a 10 oz. Steak with baked potatoes and meatball spaghetti. You’ll thank me later!

And another plus point about Vancouver that you should all really put into perspective is the environment and nature, that’s 1 more incredible thing about the people’s state of mind from Vancouver, which is they know both how to and put the importance of the environment above pretty much everything else. That is a noble thing to be learned and spread amongst cultures across the world based on what is happening to our planet right now, which shows how the culture and habit themselves here had started teaching me and many other people to pay much more attention to where I put my garbage and how a single act can help change that state of not just a region but if everyone else starts doing it, it could change the world, and it all starts with us and our own acknowledgement as well as our later influence. And I think that’s how Vancouver can really get to you, it puts into your own perspective the kind of thinking you never thought you’d have before and you start to have this feeling that you’re gradually doing good to the society around yourself, which is something that I truly think that people should obtain.

Vancouver at the current time is the closest thing that I get to a home since I’m gonna be studying here for the next 4 years of college and university. So I think it’s reasonable for me to talk about the place that is my original home, where I was was born and raised - Hanoi, Vietnam.

Hanoi ( Hà Nội ) is the capital of the Socialist Republic of Vietnam. Hanoi is located in the center of the Northern side of Vietnam. With a population of 7.588 million people by 2015 in an area of 3.329 square kilometers, Hanoi is considered to be 1 of the most crowded cities in Vietnam. ( Statistics based on https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hanoi , retrieved on 11/25/2017 ).

Some images and maps of Hanoi :

( http://www.worldatlas.com/as/vn/hn/where-is-hanoi.html , retrieved on 11/23/2017 ).

( Via http://www.geoatlas.com/en/maps/city-maps-5/hanoi-2267 , retrieved on 11/23/2017 ).

Hanoi has a rather hot climate I would say, after all, Vietnam is a tropical country. The temperature in the summer can get a little bit irritating or even seems harsh to some people since it can reach up to 42 degrees Celsius in the hottest period of time in the day. Hanoi has a different weather year-round from Ho Chi Minh City which is in the Southern part of Vietnam because it has all 4 seasons whilst Ho Chi Minh City only has 2. I myself think that Hanoi and Vancouver are similar to each other. Yes, I know it’s not fair to compare the 2 because Canada is much more advanced and civilized than Vietnam. But then the flaws that Vietnam has, the country made up to me big time by the spiritual values that it offered throughout the years.

Hanoi is the capital of Vietnam, therefore, it focuses more on technology development and it is the center for all big companies to establish their own stands, the same thing goes for Vancouver.

Hanoi has many sites that you just need to go to immediately after you get off the plane such as :

Hoan Kiem Lake - the scenery that I think that people will hear about the most as soon as they set foot on the Hanoi territory. Because it plays such an important part in Hanoi’s culture and history. The Lake is the center of the city, it is not just in the center of the city but it is THE center of the city. Đồng Xuân night market, Hoan Kiem walking street every weekend, Lý Thái Tổ Park,...

Hồ Hoàn Kiếm ( https://www.foody.vn/ha-noi/ho-guom , retrieved on 11/26/2017 ).

I personally think that Hanoi has a very diverse food culture, not because it has many races of people like Vancouver living in it, but because it has the dishes from all over of Vietnam. Believe me, that is a lot of tastes for food because each province, each part of Vietnam has a special dish and as you know, the mentality of every single person is “if you want to succeed, you gotta succeed in the big cities”. So Hanoi became the center not for just technology development but also for the impressive food differential.

If you come to Hanoi, and you do not try Phở, you’re considered never been to Hanoi and you just made pretty much 1 of the biggest mistakes of your life. Phở is seen to be 1 of the types of food that defines the Vietnamese culture and their own people. It plays a big role in giving Hanoi the credit that it deserves. I myself have ridden through most of the city’s corners, mostly with a group of my close friends and sometimes by myself, especially when it was near the point I was about to leave Vietnam to come to Vancouver, to enjoy all that Hanoi has to offer. Take my advice, don’t go to the fancy, flashy restaurants in Hanoi, that’s simply tour-arranged sites. The real fun and the real culture of the city sits on the streets, in the narrow alleys, where they don’t get too much market or tours influences, that’s how they stay true to their roots and that’s how Hanoi food cuisine stayed put no matter how much time had passed. So basically you’re tasting recipes that came up at around 1930′s!

Phở on the sides of the roads ( http://www.phunutoday.vn/pho-ganh--hanh-trinh-di-tim-lai-ha-noi-xua-d94352.html , retrieved on 11/26/2017 ).

In my own opinion and under my point of view, Hanoi or even Vietnam in general still has a lack of training female individuals for specific dominantly-male-considered types of professions. And I think that firstly Hanoi, since it is the capital, needs to look at this problem seriously and to put Vancouver as a strong example to be looked up to in this matter. Females in Vietnam need to have a chance to express their own true abilities, to have an equal chance to be employed in Applied Sciences, Economic-related jobs; or even as small of a matter as to be able to be a good driver through proper, thorough processes of training. This is going to be a great contribution to Vietnam’s economic situation and the percentage of the professional labor force.

There’s one more city in Vietnam that means so much to me both physically and mentally whenever I have a chance to visit, which is Ho Chi Minh City - the city that was named after our great former leader.

Ho Chi Minh City ( Thành phố Hồ Chí Minh ) - formerly known as Sài Gòn, is the biggest city in population and economy matter in Vietnam with a population of 8.426 million people by 2016 and has a total area of 2.096 square kilometers, 2nd in the whole country ( only ranked after Hanoi ). ( Statistics based on https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ho_Chi_Minh_City , retrieved on 11/25/2017 ).

Ho Chi Minh City’s maps ( http://virtual-saigon.net/Maps/Collection?ID=1089 , retrieved on 11/26/2017 ).

Ho Chi Minh City is basically Hanoi of the Southern part of Vietnam. Hanoi is the center of the Northern part and HCM City is the center of the Southern part of Vietnam. Ho Chi Minh City is known for its amazing citizens and also famous sights, such as Ben Thanh Market ( Chợ Bến Thành ) - which is one of the busiest markets in the whole Vietnam, same goes with Dong Xuan ( Chợ Đồng Xuân ) - Hanoi’s version of the original, back-in-the-days market. Or Dinh Độc Lập - the Independence Palace if you want to pronounce it in English. Even the Nguyễn Huệ walking street which is definitely one of the best tourist attractions.

Some pictures of famous sites in HCM City :

Dinh Độc Lập ( http://ditich.dinhdoclap.gov.vn/vi-vn/trang-chu.aspx , retrieved on 11/26/2017 ).

Chợ Bến Thành ( https://www.flickr.com/photos/rnugraha/3095172663 , retrieved on 11/26/2017 ).

HCM City’s food culture is also very, very diverse. Hủ tiếu, Bún riêu, Cơm tấm,.... It’s gonna take me days to list all of them, which all are specialties of HCM City and also Vietnam itself. The food there is especially mesmerizing to be exact, I have not had the opportunity to try them all. But that’s the reason I always tell myself upon, to set a goal of how many types of food to try out during my time of staying. I tried maybe about 15, and they were 15 of the best food that my taste has ever had the opportunity of experiencing, and also, so should yours!

HCM City is literally the city that lives by night, so if you want to experience the best that the city can offer you, go out a little bit later than usual and let loose! The night bars, the city’s lights, and entertainment that goes on the whole night. But the most special thing, to me, is still the food trucks, if you wanna call it like that, which stays 24/7 on the sides of the streets, waiting to serve hungry night cravers looking for street food. And I can tell you right now, there’s nothing more amazing than going back home from a night with your best group of friends, although exhausted and the hunger just creeps in every 5′, but then you found a food truck right out at the beginning of the alley where you live. That feeling of “I just found a treasure box” rises up inside and that’s the perfect ending to a legendary night.

Night food truck ( http://dulich.dantri.com.vn/du-lich/leu-ban-do-an-dem-net-van-hoa-dac-trung-han-quoc-1434354982.htm , retrieved on 11/26/2017 ).

Ho Chi Minh City always has a special place in my heart, because I also have some of my family members living there. My aunt, her husband, and their kids are the main reason for my visiting. They’ve been an absolute inspiration to me as a kid. My favorite sport is tennis, and my aunt’s husband got me hooked on tennis when I was an 8th grader. I became obsessed with everything that had something to do with tennis, and I go to Ho Chi Minh City every summer I’m available to get a chance to play tennis in my uncle’s court and hang out with their family as often as I can. And HCM City was the place that gave me that inspiration! I always thought that I would find the passion of my life in my hometown because it’s closer to me and has a bigger impact on me. But according to what actually happened, trust me, surprising things can happen in surprising places. And you never know, it might be in HCM City or Hanoi even as of a small chance as it is.

HCM City people have a very special accent, differs them from Hanoi people. Their voice is very smooth and rather tonal-free comparing to Hanoi people’s accent, which is a little bit more formal, it’s like a New York accent to a Texas accent in the old cowboy movies. And this is a great thing, it shows the 2 different cultures from 2 sides of a single country. Not only do the things the people do but how they speak also differentiate each other and it can give you the sense of diversity that Vietnam always has in-store.

Vietnam means everything to me, first and foremost, because my family’s in Vietnam, and it’s the place where I built my whole life upon, it is the country that raised me ever since I was given birth and introduced me to life aspects, both good and bad. But Canada plays and is going to play a huge part in my life as well. It is going to be where I build my own career, my own vision, and hopefully, my own future family.

Vietnam comparing to Canada is still a small country, but hopefully, in the future, I can help contribute to Vietnam’s development and day by day getting closer to Canada’s levels. Vietnam still needs to look up to Canada in the aspects of gender equality, environment, traffic, and others. But I truly believe that we can get there, we’re getting better every day, and I hope that we can continue that streak in the next 10, 20, 30, 40,..... years, and help put Vietnam on the actual map of the world.

I truly hope that in your eyes and through your own experience, you’ll find the beauty of Hanoi, HCM City, and Vietnam in overall as it showed me. And in the meantime, I’ll give my best to study and experience all that Vancouver, Canada has to offer. “Life’s short, honey”, that’s what my mom and dad always tell me, and it’s very true. Give your fullest to study, get better, live, enjoy everything that life has in-stored. I’m walking on my path, moving forward on every step of the way, how about you?

Thank you very much for taking your time to read this,

Regards,

Quoc-Luong Nguyen ( Leo )

Vancouver, 11/26/2017.

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miss-sassmaster · 7 years

Note

What should I do to survive my first year of medschool, what advice can you give me

Hey @philosophicalchickenlord,

I’m glad you’ve worded this survive, rather than how to be ready for MS1 because we, as people further along in our med education, can try to explain the experience to you but there’s just no way to express everything that comes along with this and you experience it yourself to understand. Sucks, I know.

But if I’ve learned anything from being in girl scouts (besides how to monopolize a cookie industry) it would be that survival doesn’t mean getting by of the skin of your teeth, but really how to be the best prepared for the worst to come to come out the most successful that you can.

That being said, here are some ways to survive your first year of med school;

These are based on my personal experience so opinion and advice may vary.

Get your real life shit together.

Med school doesn’t let you be a regular human once you start. It eats up your time really easily and can very much get out of control especially in those first few months before you find your footing. So having already sorted out things like doing to dentist, checking your prescriptions, having bills sorted out, finding solid housing, contacting loan companies to make sure you’re deferred if you have undergrad or grad school loans, getting your car checked out, things like that will greatly benefit you. Those everyday maintenance things because nuisances and build up quickly and cause easily avoided stress you don’t need. Essentially, don’t be like me and have your car break down a mile from school the day of an exam. Do it as much as you can before you put it off.

Talk to your people.

Just, warn them. Tell your friends, family, SO, whoever that things are going to be different and you may not have the time to do as you’ve always done. You’ll miss the life happening for people around you. You’re going to be stressed, tired and pushed to new limits so keep in mind you may have to be ready to apologize for lashing out at loved ones. It happens to the best of us. Be mindful to remind them you still care even when you can’t be present.

Find common ground with your class.

There are times during first year you will feel completely, utterly alone. You’ll feel like you’re failing and question if you belong in the medical field at all. And it’s not just during first year. But I’ve found that having good friends within my class has really helped me feel much less alone. A lot of relationships are built in your first two years and make for easy commiseration when things get gross. A sense of community is often over looked but incredibly important to a developing doctor and your very first community is your medical education is your class. And even if they suck as a whole (mine doesn’t but won’t represent anyone else’s) chances are there is still someone you’ll click with.

Talk to your upperclassmen.

My littles at school love me, just FYI. Because I will literally sit down with them or stay on the phone with them answering every question I can for them (granted I’m not super busy) because if I don’t help them out who will? They deserve to know what’s coming and not be blindsided. But not all uppers will be like me, but if you talk to enough of them, eventually you’ll get the information you’re looking for. You’ll know what books you need to buy and which already have a google drive ready to go for you. You’ll find out which classes it pays to go to (if you have optional attendance) and which you should learn from Najeeb. You can find out which rotation sites are garbage and which are going to give you an amazing experience. You can ask us here on tumblr for generals, but your schoolmates will really help you get ahead especially in those first two years while you’re still building bound.

Try out study methods, stick with what works.

I’m terrible at this, because I like to experience everything life has to offer and I also have a lot of secondary learning issues (that’s a story for another day) but use your first few weeks to really get your experimentation on if you’re that type. Doing what they did in undergrad (granted to an increased extent) works for some, others may only have to tweak and add or subtract a few things and other people have to really start from scratch. The most important thing to do is to stop when you’ve found a groove that works. You can sprinkle in some new things here and there to try but don’t wipe away a system that is getting you results. And if you’ve still trying and struggling don’t be afraid to ask to ask for help either. And outside perspective may be what you need to get back on track.

And limit material.

Same with study methods, try some out but don’t be overzealous. Learning in medical school is a pretty individualistic experience and you have to do what works for you. Try some out, experiment around, use what works and don’t try to make something work because every else uses it if it’s not for you (First Aid, for example). And don’t load up because you think more is more. Limit and learn those few things really well.

Expect change.

Holy crap, if you told me what I would know and act like now as a fourth year when I was first year I would not believe you. I feel like my brain was pulled apart and rewired to think the way a doctor does, even just a little bit. You can’t expect to come out the same person than when you started because you’re exposed to and entire new way of being. You learn hundreds of new things and see hundreds of people living lives apart from you who are relying on you and to be frank, that changes you. It’s not a bad thing at all. Just know. Doctors and built, not born.

Sorry this is super long, as usual, but I hope this was able to help you. Congrats and good luck! And remember to eat.

#ask sass #medblr #ms1 #sorry this is song long #and kinda late but i wanted to write it out on a computer #first year #medical school

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xekstrin · 7 years

Text

i’m scared to death of light and silence

A/N: Symmetra/Sombra fic written for @grimtriggers here on tumblr. Super NSFW, mostly about Sombra submitting completely and entirely to the shaper of her universe.

Also Available on AO3.

Corporate espionage was a very pretty turn of phrase. It sounded almost innocent, benign, like accidentally spilling too much gossip around the water cooler. It did not sound like a controlled explosion on the other side of the Vishkar complex, drawing all security personnel. It didn't sound like Satya using a pass that did not belong to her to gain access to a room she wasn't supposed to be in, stealing information she swore to protect, in order to give it to a woman that had a verifiable kill count.

Never too far away, Sombra hovered over her every move, murmuring instructions when she could get close enough.

"Cutting it a little close, bella."

The blue core in the center of Satya's left palm lit up, flickering purple. Static traveled up the length of her forearm, a tremble where she was normally steady as a surgeon.

She balled her hand into a fist. "I will be fine." Satya had the unnerving ability to look right through her, even when Sombra had her cloaking device activated. "You should be more concerned about your own route of escape, if this goes awry."

"I'm invisible." The air around her rippled as she watched Satya trot down an aisle of supercomputers, each taller than their combined height. Satya found the one she was looking for at last, waving her left hand in front of it and summoning a console to type her instructions. "You're not."

Soft blue light radiated from every circuit, every crevice in the walls. More than a heart, this room felt like Vishkar's entire nervous system. Sombra trailed clawtips over it all, seeking entry and being denied without fail. It was maddening, to be shut out like this.

That was why she started working with Satya. Her tireless hunt for the truth led her straight into the architech. Sombra hadn't been surprised at all to find a kindred spirit already feverishly digging at Vishkar's rotten core with a kind of devotion that bordered on obsession. There were always people like her on the inside, thirsty for power, lunging for weak spots with mindless hunger.

Satya was an asset, at first. Ideally they would have never met or spoken in person.

"Not trying to put pressure on you." Her eyes kept darting to the door as she struggled against the urge to shove Satya out of the way and just rip everything she needed from the core processor.

It wouldn't be efficient, first of all. It'd piss Satya off, and she wanted Satya on her side. Sure, Sombra could force her way through it all, tear out the guts and sift through it later. But why use a bomb when a scalpel would rouse less suspicion? "I'm just saying I'd rather not climb out of here over a mountain of dead bodies."

Eyes trained on the holographic monitor in front of her, Satya smirked. "You would do that for me?"

"I'd do anything for you."

"I'd call you a hopeless romantic if I were in a charitable mood, but you're just a liar, Sombra." Satya tossed aside the screen, letting it flicker into a stream of blue light as it returned home to roost. "I have it. Let's go."

The two of them were in and out in forty minutes.

Sombra released her grip on all the security cameras, letting them escape their constant loop of empty hallways. She followed Satya outside, to her private car. The cameras and microphones in there were already muted; Sombra did it as a matter of habit.

Satya relaxed as much as she ever did, a long sigh escaping her as the self-driving car took them home.

To Satya's home, Sombra corrected herself. The architech crossed her legs at the knee, staring resolutely forward with a concerned frown tugging at her lips. Stress would strike deep marks onto her skin one of these days, Sombra was sure, but for now she was lineless and expressionless, cool as you please.

Just by looking at her, Sombra would have never guessed Satya's true motivations. At first glance she seemed cold, ruthless. She climbed the ranks with a sneer, if she deigned to express anything at all, if she didn't pick you apart with eyes dark and flat as an omnic.

Maybe that didn't sound kind, but in fact, Sombra loved omnics. She adored them. The fact that they followed a code in the most literal definition--- they made so much sense. They were the next step in evolution, and they couldn’t wipe out humanity fast enough in her opinion.

Humans made sense too, in a way, but they often had less reason to, and thus they were always disappointing her.

For years she kept her distance from the architech, moving Satya across the board by carefully feeding her information in ways she was liable to discover on her own anyway.

Then Satya got too close to the truth. And violence always follows the truth.

"...Listening to me?"

Sombra blinked a few times, dragging herself to the present. Materializing next to Satya, she put a hand on her lap. "Yes."

"Liar."

"You know half of my mind is always in the deep web at any given time." Sombra's thumb stroked over her bare thigh, that bit of flesh exposed from the high slit in Satya's dress. "If you want my full attention, you need to earn it." Her hand wandered higher, then skirted up Satya's hip to snatch the data card from her pocket.

"Or I could just turn you off."

"Nahhhh. That's too cruel for you." Sombra was only half-paying attention again, muttering idly. Purple strands leached out of her gloves like a living thing, a virus infecting that little blue disk until it threaded lavender and then deep violet. A skull flickered onto the screen as it started decrypting the information Satya had stolen for her. Even with the architech's help, Sombra would need at least a week to sort through all of this. "So what were you saying?"

"I was asking how this would help us."

Sombra's eyes flickered up, studying the other woman in a single up-and-down sweep. She didn't answer at first, not sure where to start. "Won't know for sure 'til I break this down." Sombra returned to the code, the latest strand of that mile-long net.

Satya pulled her gaze back up with a finger under her chin. "Don't lie to me again, Sombra."

She did a quick check of her own hormones, making sure stress didn't raise anything too high. Just another set of data that she needed to control. "Or else what?"

Satya didn't rise to the bait. "You wouldn't risk both of us on a half-baked scheme if you weren't certain it would produce results."

"I appreciate the trust, mi alma, but you know sometimes I just do this shit by the seat of my pants. There's never a guarantee any of this will do anything to help you, or me."

Unwavering eye contact. Satya didn't believe her. She was trying to strip her down again, find good where there wasn't anything but bad.

She was amazed someone like Satya would trust her at all.

Of course Sombra tried seducing her shortly after revealing herself to the architech, but she didn't expect it to work.

For a while it was just sex. They survived enough scrapes and close calls that it felt right.

Then Satya proved what she was capable of.

About six months ago Sombra got a notification at two in the morning. She kept close tabs on all her assets, especially her only "in" at Vishkar. The news made her heart drop, followed by pure, hot rage: someone was going to try and kidnap and kill her tonight. It wasn't the first hit on Satya, but it was the first to get past all Sombra's firewalls and strike without her being able to stop it.

Sombra went to the abandoned lot fully expecting to find Satya's mangled corpse scattered over the building plans. A future site for Vishkar development, it stood out like a set of broken teeth on the desert landscape. Shining white towers, half-built yet somehow already on the verge of collapse.

Satya was waiting for her, seated in front of a pile of dead bodies with a gun on her lap. Or it looked like a gun. Satya said it was a tool for stripping paint from concrete. It had a pretty... melty effect on people, too, it seemed.

She was shaking. For the first time Sombra saw her eyes were genuinely dark, the light crushed out in a dissociative fit. Shame it took snuffing out for Sombra to notice it had even been there to begin with.

"Where are you?" Satya's hand covered hers, grounding her to reality again.

Depends on who you ask. Sombra was everywhere at once, the implants in her skull connecting her to the global network. She was in the past, calling a guy she knew to dispose of the bodies and driving Satya to her apartment, the same one they were approaching right now.

Sombra blinked a few times. "I'm right here." She twisted in her seat, holding Satya's face with both her hands. "Right here. I swear."

Slowly, Satya relaxed against her touch. She rarely allowed anyone to touch her. Not out of a sense of superiority as Sombra first assumed, but because Satya was as fragile as a length of glass.

Sombra could see it betrayed in the slightest shift in her expression, the tremble of a lip or the uncertainty in her eyes.

That night--- the night of the murders--- Sombra realized this woman was something she'd never encountered before. More than a haughty artist, or a power-hungry, ladder-climbing croney. Satya was the rarest creature of all: someone who was really, truly trying to save the world.

That cold glass veneer had cracked the day Satya was forced to kill someone. Sombra convinced her, somehow, that they couldn't skip town that very same night. She was someone who'd spent her whole life running, she said, and she knew that right now Satya needed to stay where she held the most power, go to work like nothing was wrong.

It'll be a power move. Trust me.

Satya did trust her. That was the wildest part.

She made Satya take a shower and toss her bloodstained clothes into the garbage. Satya stayed in there for at least an hour, and spent another one sitting on her bed, blow drying her hair and then carefully combing through it.

Sombra had sat next to her, not wanting to leave but unsure if Satya wanted her to stay. Carefully, she stroked a hand over Satya's head. Satya hated having her hair played with, but something starving in her erupted that night, needing touch, desperate for any kind of comfort Sombra could give her. She braided Satya's hair like they were girls, and then Satya took her hand and pulled it between her legs.

Her skin was still steaming hot from the shower, but it was nothing compared to the slick warmth that coated Sombra's fingers. She lost count of how many times she made Satya come that night. She didn't remember a lot of things about that night, except that it was the most satisfying sexual experience she'd ever had in her life.

Fun fact, murder actually feels great in the direct aftermath.

Weeks later not so much.

But Sombra, for all her schemes and plots, didn't think about any further than a few months into the future. Three weeks from now was an eternity when you measured your life in nanoseconds and upload/download speeds.

She was an instinct, an impulse. All she was, was someone who held powerful people accountable.

And very very soon, Satya was going to be one of those people.

Cause like, a woman like her either dies young or rips the stars from the sky.

Right?

"Sombra."

The angry tone, her name shouted like it was some final straw. Satya had been talking again. Talking right at her, while Sombra was lost in some other universe.

Reality slammed into her in the form of white metal joints, clutching her head and shoving her face against the car window. Satya's grip could crush bone, she knew, but the real danger was that solid blue core. The one that could bend reality itself, and it was humming right up against her implants.

Then Satya turned her off.

The whole world went dark. Every single light, every computer, every hack in progress. Her heart monitors, the stress mitigators, the careful dosages and control of every chemical in her body. All of it.

Forced to exist in only one place, Sombra gasped, a shuddering breath that fogged up the window. Satya pressed harder, sitting closer until she was nearly on top of her.

"Tell me I didn't risk our hide for nothing. Tell me exactly what you hoped to gain from this." She took the disk from Sombra's hand, waving it in front of her face. "You reckless, thoughtless little fool!"

Sombra was still reeling. She couldn't answer. Unable to keep track of her own heart rate or hormones, she was grounded, slave to an uncaring universe that continued rolling without her input.

More than that, she was helpless to Satya's universe, one that she ruled as absolutely as any god.

Still she didn't have a real answer for Satya. She couldn't say anything that they hadn't already gone over, and she knew Satya hated it when Sombra just spewed the same bullshit again and again. "Everywhere there exists people who think they answer to no one. Eventually they'll answer to me. This is one step closer to that."

"So who do you answer to?"

Sombra flashed her a smile. "Well, you, of course."

For once she was telling the truth. It would be a shame if Satya didn't believe her.

Visibly uncomfortable, Satya relented. The grip on her head relaxed, and Satya sat back to give Sombra some space.

Despite it all, she could tell Satya did believe her. Even though it didn't make any sense. Satya should hate her--- ever since Sombra appeared, everything in her life shattered and collapsed, a huge seismic shift. But against all odds, Satya kept believing in her.

She had to trust that Sombra was telling the truth or they would both die. And she made that choice, every single day.

"Where are you?" Satya said again, but softer this time. It was mournful, conflicted. "Are you here? Are you really concerned with what might happen to us? Or is this just another game to you?"

Whenever Satya turned her off, Sombra could fully realize just what she meant by that statement. The translocator scrambled her brain on the best of days. Even when her body stayed still, half her consciousness was usually halfway across the world trying to batter down some rich Swiss guy's online bank account.

She could almost sympathize if it weren't so stupid. "If I didn't take this seriously, would I give you all these ways to slit my throat?"

The turrets that always knew where to find her even when invisible, the backdoors, the fact that Satya could even turn her off at all. Those things were all so huge! Those weren't idle displays of affection. It was Sombra giving her the fucking killswitch, for god's sake.

For a genius, Satya could be really fucking dense sometimes.

She had to help Sombra out of the car. Without her systems micromanaging everything from her cortisol levels to her sweat glands, Sombra felt helpless as a fawn.

Some part of her enjoyed it, of course. Letting Satya make the whole world vanish. Cause when you're the shadow, it's impossible to get lost in the dark on your own.

Satya got a kick out of it too, she was sure. Shapeless and powerless, she bent Sombra every which way like one of her hard light beams. She pulled her inside, kissing her hard. "Undress."

"Yes, ma'am." Not a hint of sarcasm attached to the words. Not when her pulse was already pounding between her legs, anticipation unfettered by any kind of self-control. Satya steered her to the bedroom at once, forcing her to bend over the mattress. Without prompting Sombra's legs eagerly spread open, waiting for more.

Except more didn't come. Slowly, Satya began to laugh, rich and low.

"What makes you think I want that?" Her hand ran down Sombra's spine, toying with the ports on her back. The lights were all dead, everything dark until Satya decided to release her.

"I want it," Sombra muttered, trying not to sound like she was sulking. "You've fucked me every other time you turned me off. Can you blame me for getting a little pavlovian about it?”

Satya ignored her. "Showing signs of strain. But no damage." Strong fingers traced the length of her bare scalp, over strips of metal fused to bone. As the inspection went on Sombra realized this was a maintenance check, not a seduction attempt, and forced herself to relax. "You're overexerting yourself."

"Mmm." Sombra lowered her head, shrugging to pretend that she was still unbothered, that she wasn't shaking with a mix of anger and fear and need.

"I can see your ribs," Satya murmured, her prosthetic warm as flesh as it bumped down every notch in Sombra's spine. "When was the last time you ate?"

Good question.

"You are going to stay turned off for at least a few days." Satya said it like an announcement, not asking Sombra but ordering her. Sombra opened her mouth to shoot something back, sharply remind her that they had work to do, when she heard the rattle and hum of hard light. The gag appeared right between her jaws.

Muffled, Sombra bit down on unforgiving plastic, face hot with rage. There was more whirring, the shifting of something being made from nothing, and then warm constraints laced her arms up behind her back.

She was pinned, soft white sheets underneath her and hard light behind her, and that white prosthetic gently creating a mask over her eyes.

Then she was really, truly in the dark.

Now Satya was touching her like a woman, and not a machine being tuned up. Aching with desire, Sombra moaned, arching her hips back to meet Satya's fingers. Please more, she wanted to say, and she tried to say it, but it came out a garbled mess. When she was turned off, words were all she had. And Satya stripped that from her.

Satya laughed again, carefully exploring her entrance. No one had ever touched Sombra the way she did, stroking every ridge and bump like she was learning her for the very first time. Like she didn't know exactly how to make her fall apart. "You really are a fool." Her index and middle finger held Sombra open and exposed, every cool breeze making her painfully aware of her own arousal. "All your claims of power fall apart at the slightest provocation."

The prosthetic always carried more heat than her other hand, warm from the blue, pulsing core she used to shape reality.

An eager and enthusiastic participant in hookup culture, Sombra was used to rushing in, getting off, and then dipping out. Being with Satya meant a different kind of commitment than women usually asked from her; a submission to her total control.

She always balked at anything attempting to restrict her freedom, but at the same time, Sombra could never say "no" if the reward was good enough.

Satya always made it worth her while, even if getting there was maddeningly slow.

Even as she slowly modded herself to be less human and more machine, Sombra still took deep pleasure in anything that drowned her in raw sensation. Drugs and alcohol, anything that stank of debauchery and made the lights--- the lights that chased her every waking moment--- the lights either too blinding to see or shut off entirely.

Satya made a mess of her, rewarding her submission with constant stimulation. A few firm, rough strokes over her clit would have ended it at once, but Satya entered her with two fingers. She gave her time to adjust before that creeping, dizzying climb started again. She kept Sombra's mind from wandering, prosthetic rubbing soothing circles down her spine.

"That's good, dear. Just relax."

She kissed Sombra's back, licking away at a bead of sweat rolling down her neck. Sombra wriggled, whining in protest. A neat freak like Satya should hate prolonging sex like this, she figured. Sombra certainly did, hated how her body continually asserted itself as more liquid than anything else.

But at the same time, it just felt so good.

Loosening the knots in her muscles until Sombra finally relaxed, Satya brought her to the peak and let her fall, dissolving into need, every nerve in her body alert, awake, here.

Sombra couldn't let her mind flicker somewhere else. Every time she tried she just bounced against her own skull, completely isolated.

A crack of plastic and the tacky, silicone-wet smell of lube.

The first thrust came as a shock. It was too forgiving to be hard light, Sombra was sure, but she hadn't heard Satya go retrieve anything from her box of toys. Fists clenching, Sombra screamed around the bit. Satya forced her to stay here in this world, defenseless against the mounting pleasure.

It swelled, growing harder with each rock of Satya's hips. Her soft hand reassured her with pets and strokes even as the prosthetic continued the inspection, finding her secure and unharmed and undamaged-- for now.

She was losing her mind. Everything was too tight, her nervous system was too small to hold everything she was feeling right now. Satya, I need you. She tried to talk, knowing it was all swallowed by the gag, crowded in by moans and muffled swears. I don't want you to learn I need you more than you need me.

"Relax," Satya whispered, kissing the side of her shaved head. Sombra twitched at the hot, wet length of her tongue so close to all her ports. Of course she'd built them to be waterproof, otherwise her own sweat would wind up frying all her custom rigs. But it still felt weird, and wrong, and Satya knew it. "I won't hurt you."

She would. Sombra knew she would, if she had to. There wasn't any limit to what Satya would do if she thought it was necessary. Over and over again she found ways to surprise Sombra, making her regret ever seeing Satya as anything more than an asset.

I want to be your tool to build that better world, I want you to use me, use me, use me, use me, use me---

Then the rhythm changed. The fingers over her clit stilled, then retreating, leaving a wet smear on the inside of Sombra's thighs. Holding onto her hips with both hands, Satya changed her angle slightly. Slow at first, then insistent. It didn't feel as good at first, no longer like Sombra was the sole focus of her attention.

The sound of her name, spoken in a breathy moan.

"Sombra."

She almost never got to hear that. Satya refused her touch more times than not, only ever snapped her name in anger.

"Ah, Sombra." Not like this, the grip on her hips tightening, one hand on the back of her neck.

In a flash of delight, it hit her: Satya was using her. Either she'd slipped a vibrator into her end of the strap-on or she'd discovered how to grind against the base just right, but she was chasing after her own pleasure now.

Restrained, blinded, locked in her own head, her body overwhelmed with sex and her aching clit. Sombra choked again, jaw starting to sting from biting down so hard.

It built, taking her higher and higher every time. When she came there was no fighting it, and no hiding it. She sobbed--- or maybe laughed--- whittled down to nothing but her pulsing cunt. Satya had to know she'd come, felt the gush of heat dripping down her thigh. The way Sombra finally relaxed, letting go of everything to drift alone in the darkness until Satya was satisfied, too.

They took a shower together afterwards, Satya's prosthetic set aside so the soap wouldn't gum up all those delicate joints.

Sombra rarely spent the night, but she couldn't leave until Satya turned her on again. That was just asking for trouble. So she sat on her bed, pouting and trying her best to look cute until Satya finally relented.

But she didn't leave.

Sitting in the vee of Satya's outstretched legs, Sombra absent-mindedly ate cold leftovers as the screens danced in front of them. She even drank water, just to get Satya off her case. "This might not take longer than a few hours, now that I look at it."

"You gave me an inaccurate estimate earlier?"

"I miscalculated. It happens sometimes. Try not to look shocked."

"I'll make the attempt." Satya's arm wrapped around her waist, pulling her closer as she read over her shoulder. "Now will you tell me what's so important about this data?"

"Okay. It's a long story, though."

"I'm not going anywhere." Satya promised her, leaning over to kiss her cheek. "Neither are you, if you know what's good for you."

Sombra chose to believe her, or to at least believe in that untenable trust that had somehow sprung up between them. There was no reason she should, no scenario where this didn't have 'bad news' written all over it.

Well there was one explanation, but it was so off-putting that it ruined her appetite, not that she had much of one to begin with.

God help her.

She was in love.

#symbra #overwatch #fanfiction #xeksplicit #im not sure what else to tag this as :)

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