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magics-neptunes-things · 8 months

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Fire and Ice 2

Hi guys!

Here is the part 2 of Fire and Ice, I try to pick a suggestion an anon made yesterday so I hope it will be fun to read :)

And it’s actually much longer than I imagined at first.

Keep telling me what you think about my writing, I love to read you.

Enjoy!

PART 1 ______________________________________________________________

The next time you saw Leah was two days after your kiss. She was kind of moody, all the team was supposed to take the team picture and the weather wasn't really nice.

Even if you didn’t stop thinking about this kiss, you didn’t try to talk to her. Or at least you didn't do anything else than creep every picture on her Instagram or the firsts videos of her TikTok. And the more you find yourself watching these videos, the more you fall in love with Leah. The way you felt during this kiss is always present and you just have to think about it to feel them again. It never happened to you before and you don't know what to do about it.

Arriving the last ones with Alessia, with whom you make the trips to the stadium, you don't have the courage to go and greet everyone. You just smile and wave, but your gaze lingers for a few more seconds on Leah. With her umbrella, she seems to complain to a Lia who have an amused look on her side.

After this day you didn't really have the opportunity to see her. However, what you don't know is that she sometimes observes you from the physio center where she continues to follow her exercises to return to the field with you. Despite the tinted windows, she sometimes has the impression that you feel her gaze on her given the way you turn in her direction.

**************

The next time you really have the opportunity to see her, it's for the next team evening. This time it was organized by Lia and you gladly accept when she ask you to come over. You managed to sit on the sofa with direct look to the kitchen where Leah is, in the middle of a discussion with two or three other teammates, allowing you to look at her without it being too obvious. This will not stop you from getting caught by Leah herself watching her, several times. But each time you just smile at her before looking away, without even taking the time to check that she gives it back to you.

Pizza were eaten and the first film finished when Beth and Katie approach you with a big smile, sitting each on either side of you. You were talking with Frida about Norway, you missed your country a little bit, but your conversation was quickly stopped. From the corner of your eye, you notice that Leah sits down more straight on the other sofa, a look of frustration on her face.

"So!" Katie begin as you raise an eyebrow at here "We made you a Tinder account."

"You what?"

To be honest, you really thought they’d forgotten about you meeting someone. The subject hadn't been discussed since and you didn't even think to tell Frida about it, the kisses you exchanged with Leah making you forget what else had happened during this evening.

"What’s all this about?" Frida asked with a deep frown, taking her role of big sister a little too much at heart.

"Well, Y/N is single, young, cute and really hot. She need to find someone to take care of her and give her the love she deserved" Beth answers, like it was the most logical thing ever.

You whispers something about the love of god on your mother language, hiding your face behind your hand.

"Told you it was stupid of you" Leah mumble from her couch.

You look at her between your fingers, but you are quickly interrupted by Beth who removes your hand from your face to show you her phone screen.

"Look!" she says happily while you take it in your hand.

Tinder was open on your profile and you look at what they might have written or said about you.

"Where did you find this picture?" you asked, as it was one you take from your last summer holiday.

"Google, i think. Dunno" Katie shrugs.

"I'm single and ready to mingle. Really?"

Beth and Katie both laughs as you roll your eyes, giving Beth's phone back. You’re trying to take this lightly, even if you must admit that it makes you a little uncomfortable. If the information that a profile in your name is on a application like this comes to your parents, you’re not sure you can handle their questions. Frida, on the other hand, seems rather suspicious and a glance at Leah informs you that she's still looking at the scene with a gloomy face.

"And it's not finish! We already managed to arrange two dates for you. We didn't know which kind of girl you like, so we take a brunette and a blonde. You just have to cancel the one you don't like."

You remain completely amazed this time, simply not knowing what to answer. It was Leah who did it for you, getting up from the couch, too angry to stay on the couch.

"This is some bullshit, making up a date from Tinder? What are you looking to? Get her murdered to get her place on the team?"

"She's right" Frida add, frowning. "I don't want to find her in the news, other than for her athletic talents."

"You both are overreacting. She will be safe" Katie shrugs.

"Blond or brunette?" Beth asks you, ignoring the others.

Your gaze flies away for a split second towards Leah, before you respond in a whisper that you prefer blondes.

**************

A few days later, you find yourself at the date that you haven't planned at all, clearly not totally comfortable with the girl that your teammates have selected for you. She realized very fast that the way you talk isn't the same that it was on the application, so you confessed the truth. It didn’t seem to bother her, but rather to amuse her. After your meal at the restaurant, she offered to continue the evening in a bar a little further down the street and you agreed. You can’t deny people things.

You’re having a hard time concentrating on what she’s telling you, stupidly excited about something else. One little thing, too. But Leah did a post last night on your last game and in her photo drop she posted one of you accompanied by a goat emoji and a crown. And it gives you far too much pleasure for it to be innocent. But again, Emma, who seems to be particularly the kind to forgive people, doesn’t seem to pay much attention to it.

Speaking of attention, you haven't shown much either since you didn't realize that the woman who has been haunting your thoughts for almost three weeks is actually a few meters from you.

Leah managed to snatch the name of the restaurant you were supposed to meet Emma from Beth and simply decided to take you as a fillature. Officially to watch over you and make sure nothing happens to you. Unofficially because she’s mad as hell just thinking about the stupid idea of her two friends. Like you need a Tinder date to meet someone.

As she watches you talking to that damn blonde, she tries to determine the real reasons why she came here. Because the truth is, she hasn’t stopped thinking about your kiss either. And it annoys her like crazy, but after trying to ignore you for almost two weeks, these idiots of Beth and Katie decided to throw you in the arms of the first person coming.

And even though she’s consumed with jealousy to see you so comfortable with Emma, unlike what you’ve never been with her, Leah can’t help but feel satisfied seeing you get lost in your thoughts sometimes as Emma talks. Emma can certainly not realize it since she doesn't know you, but Leah has been watching you for two weeks and can now determine the different expressions of your face.

She followed you to the bar discreetly, there also satisfied to see the physical distance that you put between you two while you were walking. She saw the way Emma tried to grab your arm to walk and the skillful way you went away, while remaining polite. It reassured her a little, too, proving that despite your shyness you can say no.

The bar you chose doesn’t have a very good reputation (something you don't know) and Leah is happy to have followed you, just in case. The crowd being denser than in the restaurant, she sometimes loses sight of you from her table while you are installed in the bar with Emma. She isn't disturbed on her side, her icy look sufficient to keep away any human being having a little common sense.

**************

The discussion with Emma is rather light, but not transcendent either. She seems rather kind and it makes you a little sad not to be able to give her the attention she probably deserves. But you can’t help but think about Leah and it makes you half crazy. While you and Emma were walking down the street, you were wondering, for example, where would Leah have preferred to take you after the restaurant instead of listening to Emma talk about her work.

"I'm going to the bathroom" you say right after you order your second drink.

On your way to the toilet, you take the opportunity to take a look at your phone and send a message to Frida and Alessia to inform them that you are still alive. And you end up on Leah’s Instagram page, pouting when you see she doesn’t post anything. When you return, you inform Emma that after you finish your drink you will go home. You’re getting tired and the heat at the bar doesn’t help you feel better.

She takes it with a smile, not even asking if you will be able to see each other again next time. It makes you hope a little that she realized that you didn’t necessarily have sparks between both of you. Perhaps she could become a friend, but certainly not a love interest.

"Are you all right?" Emma asks you frowning a few minutes later.

With your eyes closed, you shake your head negatively, using all your strength of mind not to fall off your stool. Your head turns atrociously and you have the impression that the food you ingested a few hours earlier is just waiting to come out.

"Bathroom" is the only word you managed to say.

You try to get up, but it’s only Emma’s hand catching your arm that keeps you from falling. It's no longer your head that turns, but the whole room while the sounds of conversations or atmosphere of the bar reach you as if you had your head under the water.

"Come with me, I'll help you ok?" Emma tells you nicely by helping you to the bathroom.

As you reach the door, a voice intervenes and you must focus to understand what it says.

"Let her go. Now."

"Who are you?"

The unknown voice doesn't respond, but you feel much more toned and assertive arms seize your waist, rather delicately though. A fresh, pleasant hand lands on your forehead and only then that you recognize the smell of Leah’s perfume. The white fear that gripped her voice prevented you from recognizing her.

Hardly opening your eyes, blinded by the light of the toilet, you only see two babyblue eyes before sinking definitively.

**************

When you regain consciousness, despite your closed eyes, it only takes you a few seconds to remember what just happened. Opening your eyes abruptly, you suddenly sit in the bed in which you are. You’ve read too many stories that end badly because of drugs ingested without consent.

"Wow, slow down cowboy"

Leah get up from the chair next to you, lightly pushing your elbow to make you lie down again.

"Leah? What are you doing here? Wha- What happened to me?"

"It's ok sweatheart. You're safe. Breath, ok?"

Leah doesn't answer your question but the pet name she gave you make you forget this point. The softness of the tone she just used and her hand that delicately releases your hair from your face causes you like electric mini-currents throughout all your body. Is it normal to react like that to such a banal gesture?

But the black hole in your memory continues to torment you, you need to know.

"Do you know what happened to me?" you ask quietly, raising your eyes on her.

Leah bites her lips and you imagine already the worst, but she doesn't let the suspense remain too long.

"They think someone put something in your glass. Your girlfriend swore it wasn’t her, so they’ll look for who it might be. Even if you decide not to press charges the bar did so then they will look anyway. But no one touch you, I promise."

"She's not my girlfriend" you mumble, sinking yourself in the pillow.

"Whatever" Leah grumble, pulling the chair next to your bed to be near you.

"What are you doing here Leah?" you ask again, looking at her.

"Do you want me to leave?"

Of course not. You’ve never been alone with her in a room so long and you’re secretly thrilled that she’s here to take care of you. You’re worried about her leaving.

"No"

A few seconds of silence passed after your answer, to which Leah replied only with a nod, before returning to speak.

"I followed you"

You did not expect this answer and your head turns so sharply in her direction that Leah doesn't have time to hide her slight red cheeks.

"Why?"

"I'm your captain. I’m supposed to look after you."

You nod, a little disappointed with this answer. Your eyes continue to scan Leah’s face, who always seems to refuse to look at you. After a few seconds of hesitation, you gently place your hand on hers. You notice with relief that she doesn't remove it, despite her look on your hands.

"It's weird"

"What?" you ask, frowning.

Her eyes plunge into yours and you find yourself breathless in front of so much intensity.

"The way you make me feel"

You feel your heart miss a beat, before it start beating way too fast. You swallow your saliva but suddenly find yourself unable to say a word.

"Don't tell me you didn't feel anything when we kissed Y/N. I can't stop to think about it. I can't stop looking at you even if I don't want to because that's fucking scare me. I never fell this way before, even though I didn’t kiss almost two hundred people like Beth implied the other night. I mean, of course I noticed you because like Katie said, it’s hard not to. But we never really talked, and now I’m just thinking about you all the time. It doesn’t fucking make sense."

You're stunned, one more time. But Leah has been honest with you and you owe her the truth, too.

"You impressed me. That’s why I never really came to talk to you. I was afraid you might think I was stupid or immature."

"You used the past. Does that mean you don’t think I’m impressive anymore?" Leah asks you with a smirk.

Despite everything you can't help but smile slightly.

"No. I feel it even stronger, because you’re not the only one who has those kisses in mind all the time. I didn’t know you felt the same way."

Your heart keeps beating fast and you are relieved not to have a heart rate displayed on a machine, nothing would have been more embarrassing than that.

Leah’s gaze scans your face and you take the opportunity to do the same, admiring her features more openly than ever.

"Would it be inappropriate to kiss you now?"

Smiling softly, you respond negatively with a nod. You didn’t think your heart could pick up its pace again when you realized that Leah is approaching your face. Very slowly, allowing you to largely anticipate what will happen.

A breath escapes from your mouth when her lips ghost yours.

"Stay still" she whispers.

And you need all your strength of concentration to lie down and not break the last millimeters between your lips. But eventually it happens, Leah’s lips gently settling on yours. With the tip of your thumb, you caress her cheek for the few seconds that the kiss lasts.

It may have been a simple kiss and not a session of long making out, but the fireworks are back. You find yourself immersed in the blue of Leah’s eyes when you open yours again, shining with the same light you saw when you were at her home.

"I want more" you whispers and she smiles.

Delicately, you draw her with you on your bed and she willingly lets herself be guided.

You’re the one who initiates the next kiss, now that you know you have the right to do it. The sensations you find on her lips make you feel like you can breathe completely again. You spend a few moments rediscovering her lips, before sliding the tip of your tongue on her lower lip. You take advantage of Leah’s moan to slide your tongue into her mouth, starting a playful battle to determine which of the two will win.

When you separate from her to catch your breath, you feel her chasing your lips for a new kiss that you cannot refuse her. The truth is you don’t want this moment to end. But this eventually happens when a nurse enters the room right after knocking. Leah detaches herself from you to cast a bad look at the professional who blushes like a tomato.

"Oh… I’m sorry. I didn’t know…" she stammers and you have to bite your lips not to burst out laughing.

"What do you need?" asked Leah coldly.

"I just came to check that everything was fine"

"I’m fine, thank you" you answer with a smile, not to traumatize this poor nurse.

She nods and waits a few more seconds without moving, requiring a steady look from Leah with both eyebrows raised so that she gets out of the room, apologizing again.

"Stop impressing people" you smile, gently smacking her shoulder.

Leah turns her attention to you with a smirk and lays a softer kiss on your lips this time. Laughing softly at the visible disappointment on your face, she wraps a strand of your hair around her finger.

"As much as I would literally spend the rest of my day kissing you, I would like to make things clear right now"

"Ok?" you answer, feeling the anxiety slowly coming back.

You push yourself to the side of the bed to let Leah settle next to you, which she does by lying on the side her head supported by her hand.

"I know I’m not easy, I’m unpredictable, and sometimes I have trouble myself figuring out why I’m reacting like this. I am unbearable when it comes to food. I am jealous but I hate being so sometimes I pout for like two days without succeeding in explaining why. I’m really not the perfect girlfriend, every time I wanted to surprise someone it went wrong."

You don’t say anything, listening to Leah talking about herself, maybe not in the best way, wondering where she wants to go by telling you all this.

"But I think I’m a caring person, who knows how to take care of those she loves and remember things. I love cuddling in the morning, singing like crazy while burning my breakfast and taking baths. And I think I’ll love all these things even more if you share them with me. It’s been a long time since I’ve been in a relationship, but I want to try with you. I promise you to never hurt you. Let me get this right and let me take you on a date as soon as you get out of here."

"I would love that, Leah"

"Yes?"

"Yes" you answer, your smile illuminating your face.

She smiles back and you lean for another kiss. Leah doesn’t let you, however, putting an index on your lips at the last moment.

"One last thing"

"What?" you ask, hiding your frustration.

"I never want to hear about this damn Emma again."

You laugh while rolling your eyes. Despite her, Leah smiles softly and finally decides to interrupt your laughter by kissing you.

#woso x reader #woso imagine #leah williamson x reader #leah williamson

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livingbarbie · 11 months

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finding a hobby ‧⁺˚*･༓☾

something really key to improving your self esteem and productivity is getting off of that phone !! but i feel like we all know this, and most of us also know that the best way to get off your phone is to find a hobby. this sounds simple enough, but it might be one of the hardest things i've had to do in my growth journey.

finding a hobby can be really difficult for a multitude of reasons:

there are so many possibilities - if you google 'hobbies', you are hit with hundreds (or even thousands) of ideas. while that's promising at first, as you scroll through these lists it can become quite overwhelming and confusing. after ten minutes of scrolling, you're likely to just lay back down and play on your phone again.

lack of interest - the biggest issue for me was simply a lack of interest in ANYTHING. i would scroll through lists on google, tumblr, whatever and nothing at all would catch my eye. this is probably something to do with instant gratification (i don't know much about it), and is most likely a result of the amount of time i spent on my phone doing a whole lot of nothing. either way, know you are not alone in this feeling!

perfectionism - if you do find something that peaks your interest, that's great! however, i know a lot of us struggle with perfectionism. often this can cause you to give up on the hobby almost as quickly as you started it, because you are not outstanding at it immediately. once again, you will probably end up feeling defeated and resort back to your phone.

it took me a long time to be able to push past these obstacles, but once i did it was so insanely rewarding. here are some of the things that helped me to do so:

hide your phone - so silly, but this truly did help. i put my phone in a drawer, and closed it. with my phone out of sight, i couldn't just pick it up out of habit. this forced me to kind of just sit with my boredom, and eventually i found things to do. (usually ended up being something from the MANY lists i had read)

try anything - i mean ANYTHING, anything at all. pick something that didn't really catch your eye at all and just try it. for example. i tried crochet out of boredom. it turned out that i didn't really enjoy it that much, but now i know how to crochet which is kind of cool. just try as many new things as possible, until something sticks.

change your mindset - shift that perfectionist mindset ASAP. find a way to embrace doing things badly. this is way harder than it sounds, but it is so worth it in all aspects of your life. try things and do them badly. learn to accept your bad attempts at things. these hobbies are for you and your enjoyment only, you do not have to show people. the best thing you can do for yourself is give yourself permission to make mistakes.

i have found many hobbies in the past year, some i am more passionate about than others. these are some of my favourites:

reading: an idea you have probably seen everywhere, but it is genuinely a favourite of mine. don't buy into the idea that you HAVE to read in a pretentious way. for many people, classics and books written in the 1800's are not enjoyable and that is perfectly okay. don't be afraid to read something that might seem silly (e.g fantasy, young adult, even children's novels). there is no point in trying to read something you know you probably won't enjoy.

coding: i got into this by accident if i'm being honest, i just got hooked on it when watching my younger brother do something for his digital technology class. this is something i NEVER would've guessed i would like. if you have access to a laptop or a computer, it is so worth trying. there are thousands of free resources online to teach you, and it is super fun learning to code your own little projects.

dance: something i sometimes do in my spare time is learn dances (specifically k-pop dances). i enjoy a lot of k-pop girl group music, so i find learning the dances really fun (and sometimes challenging). i would totally recommend trying this, k-pop or not, as it also doubles as exercise!

learn a language: you can do this in so many different ways, whether you learn the basics of many languages or you dedicate yourself to fluency in a single language. this is such a cool skill to build, and i honestly just find it really fun.

this is a very brief overview of finding a hobby, but the main point i want you to takeaway is to try anything and everything. ultimately, you will not know whether you enjoy something until you try it. please do not feel discouraged when you don't enjoy the first few things you try, there is something for everyone !

stay dreamy, my angels <3

#hobbies #it girl #self care #self love #self improvement #girl blogger #dream girl #wonyoungism #motivation #barbie #feminine energy #pink pilates princess #self concept

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i-cant-sing · 9 months

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Would you ever do a yandere oc based on an urdu male lead? Maybe even with a foreigner reader learning his culture as an overseas worker?

-Thank you for reading!

OFCCCCC!!! Okay so I'm thinking of 2 Pakistani men, and these guys are bffs. OC #1 is a handsome dude that was born with a silver spoon, lives in a big ass haveli (or mansion. Just Google it) with his family- his parents and 3 brothers and he's the youngest and most loved of them all. This OC (I can't decide what job he has, so I'll leave it to u guys to vote on) is either going to be a business man who inherits his father's company, OR he can be a lawyer (very successful). OC #1 appears to be a cocky and overconfident, PLAYER who has the best luck but he's actually really hardworking and smart and was on the Dean's valedictorian list, he just doesn't take life too seriously. Hes very charming and charismatic and everyone wants to either be with him or BE HIM. His carefree attitude is often mistaken as him not being serious in any aspect of his life- be it love or career. But that's totally not true. He's worked hard for everything in life, and he may date a lot of people but he always makes sure that his dates know from day 1 that he's not serious about them. That it's just a fling.

OC #2 is a guy who's dark and brooding, completely opposite of sunshine OC #1. It's a mystery how the two ended up as best friends (OC#1 met OC#2 in kindergarten and demanded to be friends with him. #2 said no at first, but quickly came to realise that #1 was a true friend when he'd always share his lunch with him because #2 was dirt poor). This oc was basically very poor and had to work very hard from a very young age if he ever hoped to support his single mother(who he loves very much). His IQ? ITS 192. He's very intelligent, but still sort of keeps to himself, low key comes off as rude because of how quiet he is, seems and sometimes is least interested in other people (but that doesn't mean he doesn't notice them. He remembers everything). Growing up, his only friend has been OC #1, who he likes to pretend is a nuisance but he actually cares about him, especially because OC #1's family even treated him as their own. The two of them always did everything together, even applied to the same schools and would always have a friendly competition among themselves (no one else could even imagine to compete wuth them because theyd 1000% lose). OC #2 is very prideful and he never accepted charities, not even from his bff, was the valedictorian of his college (he was the top student in every institute he ever went to, and always got the first position in every exam he took). Not only is he academically very smart, but he's also very good in sports. So he's an all rounder. His job (again u guys have to decide) could be either business man (he started his own tech company.) Or he could be a lawyer (to fight injustice with his bff) OR he could be a SPY!

So basically, the story would go like Y/n coming into their life and yknow the basics- she's not fawning over them, is smart and independent, feminine and just like best girl everr. Anyways, the of them fall for her simultaneously, but you are the one thing that neither of them will ever compromise on, AND DONT BRING UP "SHARING YOU" they will actually murder whoever brings up the idea because monogamy is a big thing among these men (unless ur a Muslim guy, u can technically marry 4 women, but most don't opt to because they're very possessive and also the INFLATION???) Both of them are very possessive and are keeping tabs on you at all times.

Names for OC #1: Zulfiqar, Halim, Ibrahim, Ali Asghar, Haroon

Names for OC #2: Hashim, Mahir, Mehmet

Okay so help me choose their careers and names! And feel free to send asks for them. I'll answer them.

#new ocs #yandere oc #yandere ocs #yandere x you #yandere x #yandere x reader #male yandere x reader #yandere x yandere

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merrymusings · 6 months

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although i love it , december can be an extremely lonely time of year for people ! so i'm posting my annual reminder/instructions of a very simple , inexpensive way to connect with peopled who may feel forgotten during the holiday season .

one of the easiest ways to make a lonely stranger's holiday season special is by sending christmas and holiday cards , especially patients in hospitals and residents in nursing homes who may not have family anymore or contact with the outside world . this has been my tradition for over a decade , i'm always shocked to find that others don't realize it's something you can do or how to do it - there's many ways and places to send cards , but here's an easy how-to for these two .

HOLIDAY CARDS TO NURSING HOMES —

this is very special because i've been told for some elderly , lonely residents , they don't even realize the cards are coming from strangers sometimes and they think they're from a loved one . for those who realize they're from a stranger , they'll appreciate them very much too !

cards can be handmade or not . typically i'll write a couple sentences about winter , staying warm , having a good holiday season , "sending love" etc. things like that . and sign my first name . you can mail a singular card with a stamp or package of cards to any nursing home and just address it like this :

ATTN: Activities Director to: any lonely resident/any resident (they wont really see the envelope) #### street address city, state, zipcode

if you're outside of the us , this system should work in your country too but obviously address it as you would there . if you don't know where to begin looking for nursing homes , just go to google maps , type in any city/town you want , and search "nursing homes" .

i always send mine completely random - i've been told they will all accept and be grateful . usually i hear nothing back but on rare occasions a staffer may mail a thank you note after christmas , just a heads up .

HOLIDAY CARDS TO HOSPITALS —

i don't do this as often so i don't know every rule ( like if you can just put "any resident" like with nursing homes ,) but !! there are lots of organizations you can mail cards to who will distribute it for you . here's a good one who works year round - you can send christmas/holiday cards or general ones throughout the year !

mail your card to : Cards for Hospitalized Kids 7290 W. Devon Ave. Chicago, IL 60631

this organization distributes the cards to patients , specifically children . they ask that you do not write "get better" "feel better" "get well soon" etc , as some patients are terminal and may never "get better" - this can be extremely upsetting . however , you may be encouraging such as "sending love" and "sending strength" ! also, do not include personal contact info ; only your first name/alias is needed . also , no glitter for these ones please . if you want more info on the organization , their site is here .

there are tons of ways to send cards and greetings to many different populations who really need a pick-me-up during this season , and info is readily available online . just wanted to share a quick couple ideas to spread cheer which impacts real people ! please spread the word , and don't forget to check on those you care about in your life because many people hurt and show no signs of it .

#holidays #christmas #christmas card exchange #psa #how to guide #please reblog if u can! lets get cards sent all over the world

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guess-that-ship · 9 months

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Guess That Ship Tournament S6: Submission Closed

The concept: You describe your ship* to me, I pick out the submissions which I find most compelling and pit them against each other without revealing who they are, people vote on them, and their identities gets revealed once they're eliminated.

Submission Guidelines

*For the purpose of this tournament, relationships do not have to be romantic in nature. I'm sometimes going to use "ship" as a shorthand, just know I mean "relationships" in general.

Relationship can be between any number of characters.

Real people are accepted if they've been dead for more than 100 years.

Roleplay characters are accepted as long as the description only pertains to the characters and not the players.

OCs are accepted.

One submission per person. (I cannot enforce this on google form without forcing you to log in. So just be champs and respect this rule.)

Summary Guidelines

Here's the selection process: Me or another judge is going to read through the list of descriptions submitted without looking at their names, we're gonna pick the most compelling submissions, then we check the name to make sure there's no repeats.

Keep it concise. Some preference will be given to shorter entries during this round of selection.

Previous submissions for reference.

Descriptions should be based on canon, not headcanon. (Eg. You can say "they love each other" instead of "they're lovers" if their romantic nature is debatable.)

Use canonical pronouns.

Avoid identifying information or setting specific giveaways. (ie. Ninja village, space necromancers.)

The more popular your ship is the more vague the description should be.

Exclusions

Ships which were previously selected will no longer be accepted. You don't have to go through the whole list, just hit ctrl+f and search for your characters' names before you write a submission.

I will also not be including any submission from Harry Potter, sorry.

Notes

I will not vet the ships/pairings for problematic content.

If you participate in this tournament, know that you run the risk of unintentionally voting for your nOTP. The mod does not take any responsibility for any distress that may cause you.

I'm currently running @bestadaptationtournament, I believe I should be able to manage 2 at the same time... Buuuut it might mean this tournament will start a bit later and there might be some gaps between rounds.

Submit your nominations here. Submission will open for 48 hours, until September 3rd, 7PM EST.

I'd appreciate it if you can reblog this post, especially if you've never done so in the past. I'm hoping to get some new eyes for this round.

#tournament poll #submission call #s6

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fan-mans · 4 months

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wazzup dude!

so whaddya got for Narcis Prince hcs? u said you've got quite a few 👀👀

- erporo

YEEHAW I FINALLY GET TO TALK ABOUT MY NARCY BOY THANKLES @erporo

I've been waiting for this for so long mnbjhkgvkjhvkj

(I actually wrote 3 pages of hcs in googles docs just for this ask lol)

Anyways, this is gonna be long so hold on to your butt!

Important ones first!

He is pretty self centered, but he's not a dick about it. At least not much more than the other boxers. He's snarky and gossipy but is actually pretty amicable when you get to know him. He sees himself as superior than others not because of his looks or wealth but because he’s very skilled- something he also values highly in others.

He hates his parents, and most of the rest of his bio family too, but loves the staff at his family’s estate- the staff loves him back quite a bit.

In fact, he respects the workers on his family’s estate and most service workers over his parents or family because the workers actually have skills, unlike most of the people he’s related to, who don't do anything except ride off their wealth.

He's very passionate in everything he does and refuses to cut corners. That's why, although he could get away with it, he doesn't cheat- he's got too much respect for both his own skills and the people he's fighting.

Because of his closeness to the staff of his estate rather than his parents, he grew up pretty class conscious and aware that he got a very privileged life, as well as being aware that people who aren’t like him aren’t people he should hate.

A big theme I have for him is people having to change their view of him: most assume he’s nothing but a vain, bitchy, brat- and while he does act like that sometimes, it’s far from his entire personality. Most of the stories I want to write about him revolve around other people having to get over their own assumptions of him based on his tastes and background, accept that yes, he doesn’t inherently disrespect them because they’re poor or different from him, and open up to his warmer side, even if he isn’t always the easiest to get along with

While he is self centered, and definitely not the best at listening to other's problems, he cares a lot about his friends and will never go back on a promise to give a gift or spend time with them. He deeply values his time with people and doesn’t ever want to waste it- even if that means he has to ignore a 100 degree fever to hang out.

He also pays close attention to people's tastes and interests, he likes learning about others and participating in what they enjoy too. If he seems like he doesn’t care about something someone says- it probably means he just didn’t understand it.

Speaking of: Narcis is still questioning his orientation. While he’s sure he’s attracted to men romantically, he isn’t sure if he likes women romantically or just aesthetically. He also wonders if he's a-spec because he’s very picky about romantic partners and values platonic relationships far over romantic ones. If he had to choose between keeping all his friends and never finding love, or finding love but never having friends, he'd always choose the former.

He's also kinda frenemies with glass joe. They’ve both made off-color comments that pissed the other off but they also enjoy a lot of the same stuff and can get along pretty well when together. However, they both can get hot headed and emotional, so a bit of anger sparks between them every time they do hang out.

Now, he truly loves his fancy shit. But as much as he loves upper class culture, he’s also quite fond of lower class and folk culture as well. However, though he doesn’t want to admit it, he’s scared that if he were to get too close to lower class culture, he’d be rejected because he’s a ‘priss’. In reality he wouldn’t be- a lot of the things and people he wants to interact with would love to have him, but Narcis isn’t quite secure in his place in the world yet.

Despite that, he doesn't have many insecurities. He’s not very insecure about his appearance- he knows he’s pretty no matter what, he just doesn’t like looking (Or feeling) bruised on his face. He also rarely gives a shit what people think of his tastes, he loves himself enough.

While he will throw the occasional tantrum- he’s gotten much better from when he was a kid and has a pretty good handle on his anger. He used to be MUCH worse as a kid.

His ‘mum’ (Nanny) is still a big part of his life and they’re extremely close. She’s the only person in the world who isn’t scared when he has a meltdown or gets angry.

AUTISM- his parents refuse to admit it or tell him but he was diagnosed as autistic v young and has known most of his life cause his nanny just told him lol.

He’s got low empathy, but he still puts in a lot of work to be nice to others cause he likes people and he wants people to like him back.

He generally needs a lot of attention and people to talk to cause he’s such an extrovert- it made his childhood extremely tough and frustrating. As an adult, he's a total social butterfly and loves making friends and hanging out with people. He isn't perfect at socializing but he's p fun!

He almost never restricts himself when having fun, whether it be going places he’s never been, to trying new drugs, he IS the man of the party and always an excellent host of one.

He also loves new experiences and learning things about people. He's really curious about other people’s cultures and loves listening to people ramble on about theirs. And ofc, he's always down for trying something new.

Now for a ton of small ones:

His uncle is a baron, something narcis’ parents want him to take on over his cousin, but that he has no interest in.

He deeply respects service workers- always tips at least 50%. But though he's never rude to servers/service workers but does expect the best service no matter what.

Absolutely never takes people’s shit- he’s too good for that.

Even with his better respect of people, he does sometimes need to be treated as the specialist boy™

Loves watching people get into fights- esp over or because of him.

Super sensitive abt horror and HATES it- he can mostly handle kids horror and maybe a funny slasher sequel/parody, but nothing too serious.

He yellow under his shirt around his neck is actually a cravat.

Most of his clothes are custom made.

He has two types of shoes: White sneakers or white/pale loafers- no in between.

His taste in fashion is p tacky lmao.

Likes tight clothes in general.

Hates the name given to him at birth.

However, he adores narcissus flowers.

Fave color is red, second fave is yellow.

Because he’s usually wearing red, his eyes tend to look a little purple.

6’10- you will never be able to pry this hc from my cold, dead hands.

Yes his hair is naturally that blonde.

He’s got the cutest lil dimples :)

blushes/turns red very easily and quickly.

Has his ears pierced and has a million sets of earrings. He's the same way with chapstick and nail polish.

Really goofy laugh.

If he were to get a tattoo, it’d have to be a v on his chest- for victory.

His greatest flaw is that he’s got terrible bo

Has a 20 step skin care routine

Cries in a very pretty way (Think like ariel or belle in their movies lol)

Will use his pretty blue eyes to pout and beg for things

Giggly and flirty while drunk

Picked up a bit of cockney from not only his staff growing up, but his drinking buddies in London

Actually a big fan of beer and beans n toast

Really loves earl grey tea

Loves spicy shit- even if he can barely tolerate it

He’s lowkey vegetarian cause he just prefers fruit & veg over meat

He doesn’t know how to ride a bike anymore cause he’s so tall.

He likes playing with and petting horses but hates riding them- ofc he knows how, he just doesn’t like it v much.

His parents got him a pet ‘teacup pig’ but when it got too big he refused to get rid of it and it still lives with them.

Absolutely adores a couple of sanrio plush toys Heike gave him for his birthday- he’s got a hello kitty doll and a My melody pillow.

Heike called him narcy-warsy as a joke and got his car keyed. The only person who can call him that is a lover, and even then only ironically.

If he likes you, he’s gonna give you a ton of pet names.

He crushes very deeply and passionately- often to the point where he dips into very unrealistic daydreaming.

V much the big jakt person in any relationship he’s in.

Definitely treats any romantic partner of his not only as his bestie, but as a tiny dog he’d carry around in a purse.

Wants a chihuahua SO BAD but refuses to get one because he knows it wouldn’t do well in England’s cold climate.

Loves basketball

Jane Austen nerd, his fave book is pride and prejudice

Loves rap, hip-hop, and r&b music… even the crappy stuff

Loves horseplay, esp pillow fights- please play in the mud with him, he needs the enrichment

Loves taking pictures- he’s not good at it yet, but it’s a fun hobby for him

Has a million coloring books that are completely filled in lol

Likes the beach a lot- no matter the weather

He collects seashells, all of which he picked himself

Spends waay too much time in pinterest making aesthetic moodboards

Has a deep interest in physics. So much so that he learned the frequency of most glass just so he could cause chaos by breaking it with his voice.

Is a countertenor (Basically he can sing in a typically 'women's' vocal range)

Speaks welsh and slovak very well- though his parents don’t know that

It’s very easy to make him laugh

Dreams very vividly

Basically ignores whenever he’s sick lmao

Pays for everything- always

#I'm sorry in advance #I just couldn't be normal about him #i've been rotating him in my brain a LOT #narcis prince #my perfect boy who has never done anything wrong ever #punch out #punch out wii #headcanons #I put so many together cause I wasn't sure when i was gonna be able to dump abt him again lmao #my hcs

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grumpity-grump-grump · 4 days

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Watching this week's 10 minute power hour and witnessing arin casually mentioning how he's bisexual, reminds me of how I came to realize I was pansexual and how I told my mom.

Growing up in a Catholic village with an average population of 200-300 people, said people being mostly the age of between 30-80, was quite the experience for a pubescent little girl like myself.

I knew I had an attraction to boys in my early teen years, school girl crushes on guys you go to class with and whatnot, classic growing up experiences, it wasn't until a few years later that I realized there's a little bit more to this.

My first ever gay crush was Hayley Williams from Paramore, my sister used to collect band magazines, once she was done cutting out the magazines I would go along after her and cut out the pictures of her I particularly liked. At 13 my bedroom walls were covered with posters and clippings of her, despite not even realizing at the time I had an attraction to women.

Vivid memories of me googling different sexualities and what they mean pop into my head, I knew I had an attraction to girls as well, but I wasn't lesbian, I was still attracted to guys as well. Bisexual just didn't fit, I tried it on for a bit, didn't truly feel like me. Then I found the definition of Pansexual, I mulled it over for a while and found that this was my label, this was what I was comfortable labeling myself as.

Fast forward to the near present, at this time no one knew, I kept myself in the closet for a while, for reasons I will disclose later in the post. I never made a big deal out of coming, I didn't sit my mom and dad down and tell them "hey! I'm pansexual!" It didn't feel like the way I wanted to do it, for multiple reasons.

It was the summer when I turned 18, me and my mom were painting furniture and talking, out of pure curiosity she asked me what's the difference between a transgender male and a transgender female. Giving her the definitions and a few examples to help her understand better, my brain immediately decided for me that 'yep this is the moment' and I told her, I explained how pansexual people are attracted to other people regardless of their gender or identity.

Of course like any parent when they've been told their child is gay, she took a moment to process it. Do I regret telling her? Absolutely not it was the best decision I ever made, she's been very kind and supportive of me ever since and I'm so lucky to have such a considerate mother in my life.

My father on the other hand, does not know and he may never know. He's not as accepting as some unfortunately, sometimes I wish I could have a 'fuck you this is me and if you don't like it you can go fuck yourself attitude' towards him, but at the same time life isn't that easy I'm afraid. To this day only four of my close family friends know I'm pansexual.

The moral of the story is: coming out is different for everyone, some may want to tell everyone at the same time, maybe make a big announcement and others may only want a few closely cherished people in their lives knowing. No matter how, when or who you come out to you're so very valid, there is no time limit, but unfortunately in some people's lives (such as my own) there may be a person or people that you feel or know won't accept you for who you are, for those of you in these situations I wish for us to gain the courage someday to truly be ourselves in the face of homophobia and oppression.

To all my fellow LGBTQIA+ people, closeted, open and even semi in the closet.

Have a wonderful pride month!!!

-Shauna

#game grumps #arin hanson #the grumps #10mph #pride month #lgbtqia #lgbtq community #gay #lesbian #bisexual #pansexual #queer #coming out #gay pride #lesbian pride #bisexual pride #pansexual pride

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suratan-zir · 8 months

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warning: lethal dose of oversharing

Autumn started with a depressive episode, as per usual. When you have bipolar disorder for long enough, you know when to expect the worst times, and for me it's during autumn-winter. Winter used to be my favorite season, but now I'm basically a plant, relying heavily on the amount of sunshine hours to function. This time it's the worst (subjectively speaking) kind of depression. I can live with severely damaged executive function, sleep and stare into the ceiling for weeks, no problem (obviously, only because I have my husband to take care of me, otherwise I wouldn't survive on my own).

What truly gets me is when the painful nostalgia kicks in, the longing for something, someone from the past I can't have. In my "normal" mental state I accepted that these people are forever in the past, they are no good for me, I am no good for them, and that's okay. I accepted that I would never have close friends again, I am too tiresome a person to be around for too long (I know many people say that about themselves, but in my case it's unfortunately true). And as time goes by it's getting harder and harder for me to open up to someone. Even to myself, actually. For most of my life, from the moment I more or less learned to write, I kept a diary (or journal, or whatever you crazy kids call it these days). But a few years ago I stopped. I catch myself on being dishonest. With myself, yes. I realized that I could no longer openly write what was really on my mind. At least not like I used to. So that's that.

So anyway, in my "normal" state I'm content with having only one person to talk to. It can get lonely, but I'm okay. However, in the "not-so-normal state" it's a whole different story. In mania, I sometimes absolutely need to have friends, I start talking more to the people online, but after the standart "asking each other lots of questions" phase it soon gets awkward and leads nowhere once I'm no longer in mania.

It's worse in melancholic depression.

This is when nostalgia kicks in. Or "saudade" should I call it? A terrible feeling of longing for people with whom I once was close. They've moved on, I've moved on. They live their happy or miserable lives, I live mine. Except that I'm lying and I don't really know how to move on, I just never do. I also lost people to the war, even though they're alive. So when this kind of depression begins, I start listening to songs from the past, I drown in painful memories, losing my mind in the flashbacks forced upon me by my brain when I'm trying to simply take a shower or have a lunch. I have dreams filled with places from the past. If it goes too far, I start googling names like a creep, looking at social media pages. I don't do it often, maybe once every few years, but it feels humiliating and icky every time.

Today I was brave and foolish. I went through my old email for the first time since moving from Donetsk. I didn't find what I was looking for. I felt disappointed rather than relieved.

#personal

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tideswept · 5 months

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Making Of Monday (TMA/SW + Obikin)

A look into the writing process - “how it’s made” for fics (for more on what it means see this post here)

So this first MOM is an interesting one! It's for and inspired by @sweet-cynic during our meandering conversations about horror and eldritch things and TMA and Obikin and of course they all fused and it's like, yeah, we're doing this baby!

Granted, that's not normally how the process goes for me. I'm usually a solitary kind of writer. But it's good to talk with people! Throw silly ideas at each other. Sometimes one of them sticks. Like a magnetized bowling ball.

In this case the catnip quotent is high. I don't want to divulge too much ahead of time (even though I've gushed to way too many people about it already lol) but there's a fascinating element of inherent otherness to Anakin that I love to see explored, and this is a good fic to play around with that.

And Obi-Wan, good god, Obi-Wan, canon-wise and in this fic--he's handed this walking nuclear bomb and he still only sees Anakin (always only eyes for Anakin) to the point that he doesn't see other things as clearly. Things that alarm others.

Did I mention we're flirting with horror? We're flirting with horror. ;)

Horror is... hm. Honestly? I never thought I'd vibe so hard with writing horror. But there's something fascinating about it that I find exposes characters in ways that are fascinating. So I like to, if it's feasible, Put the Blorbos in Situations and then sit back and watch what happens. But it has to be the right idea. I do think Star Wars has some intrinsic elements that make it horror-friendly, but it's certainly not usually the focus and therefore, I like to tread carefully, wait until the perfect reason comes along, rather than manufacturing one. (Good on writers who can do this! alas, I am weak.)

So. Idea. Where does it go from there? It goes to "I don't know what I'm doing but the vibe is right, LET'S GO" and I zoom over to Google Drive. (I know, I know, there are better programs out there, but I'm just... so used to it.) I try to keep the main page of Drive neat, with only the things I'm actively working on being listed. Which, yeah, sometimes can mean up to 5 WIPs, but once I hit that number of active WIPs I put the pause on everything until something clears out, like a queue. Otherwise it really starts to feel... oppressive.

And writing can be difficult for a lot of reasons, but it should never feel oppressive. It should bring joy even when you're clenching your teeth and muttering darkly about characters being assholes and not doing what you want, or having to rewrite entire scenes because they don't work anymore.

Actually, I have a confession; I used to never edit. Like. Ever. It bored me. My brain would say, scene done, moving on, there's no looking back. And honestly that was fine for how I felt at the time. But I'm glad I've learned to edit, to line edit, to accept with begrudging grace that oftentimes I do have to kill my darlings.

It's for the better. Even though I was kicking and screaming about it like a baby for the longest time.

(Maturity? Don't know her.)

#making of monday

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unhingedpolycule · 5 months

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Aromantic Horangi is not something I’ve considered, but I love it. Tell me more.

As for dealing with Krueger I see Soap as the one more likely to start a fistfight. The guy is hot blooded as hell and he’s not going to tolerate anyone calling his relationships into question. Ghost seems more the type for the subtle warfare, he doesn’t want to upset Konig but he’s gonna fuck Krueger’s day up.

I headcannon Horangi as someone super laid back, but in the silent, precise and analytical kind of way. We are talking to the extend of coming off as colder than he actually is. But he actually cares deeply. König didn't understand this, until he has a bad panic attack at 3 am and afterwards stands in the kitchen, trying to pour a bowl of cereal with shaking hands. Only for Horangi to come in, take one look at him and do it for him, before sitting with him for an hour, until König feels like he is able to sleep again. He considers him his best friend afterwards.

I feel like their closeness would lead to landing in bed together and König proceeds to fall. Hard. Horangi tries again and again to explain to him that he cares deepy, but love is just not on the table, that he just doesn't feel attraction in this way. Its frustrating for both of them, they fight more than once, because König thinks Horangi is just using him. He feels like they are basically a couple already, what does HHorangi mean he doesnt fall in love? He thinks he does something wrong. König only gets over his feelings when Horangi puts his foot down and tells him to respect his boundaries and feelings or else. König finally does a bit of googling and this makes it much easier for him to be understanding. Horangi isnt lying, this is a thing that people do experience.

What stays, is a gentle, deep friendship. They trust each other, sleep with each other and hold each other. Even if they are not exclusive, they don't really go out with other people because its inconvenient, but Horangi has more partners than König. They share a physical proximity, but König always longs for a relationship with someone who loves him romantically. (Which is hard to come by when you don't wanna give up your squish.) König often vents his frustrations to him and Horangi really tries to hold back on the: "Well, if you were Aromantic, your life would be easier. Ever considered changing teams?" Jokes.

When he meets Ghost and Soap, he is head over heels and when they notice him too, there is a conversation to be had about the whole thing, but they accept his thing with Horangi fully. There is still jealousy sometimes, that can't be fully avoided, but Horangi taught König how to properly communicate polyamory and now he can step up and help them navigate this.

(Horangi is happy with his sexuality, albeit he had to struggle for some time, the typical "whats wrong with me??? Why can't I love my partners like they love me? Am I doing something wrong??" Until he just says fuck it and starts setting boundaries.)

And ABSOLUTELY. Soap laughs at first because he thinks it is a joke or Krueger is just weird, but he clocks on to Krueger being malicious on purpose and it might very well escalate to screaming and threats. Maybe not to a fistfight (because ghost holds him back) because Soap knows he would get a write up and thats not a good look. Ghost follows Krueger at night, just to freak him out. Acts as if he is just coincidentally wherever Krueger is. It gets really terrefying when Krueger goes for a jog and there is the cherry of a cigarette closely behind him. He doesnt stop his shitty behavior, but god, he makes sure that he is never alone with Ghost for too long.

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vanikolya · 2 years

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Hi, you do x readers, right? Can i ask for some relationship Hc for spaceboy?

cw: none

reader info: they/them, no gendered terms used

notes: i love him so much ty for this request!! i call him halkenna / kenna in this sinceee it's his original name, you can google for more info if you want it since i'd like to keep this note short but it's not too hard to find if you just search "halkenna fairway" <33 also to the person who requested something similar, i'll still probably be writing a oneshot for you! you'll have to bear with me though as i haven't written anything other than headcanons for a while

SPACE BOYFRIEND / HALKENNA FAIRWAY RELATIONSHIP HCS

his main love language is physical touch so he's very touchy if you're comfortable with it, lots of hugs and kisses and hand holding

the type of person to be like cuddling with you in a morning and get all whiney when you try to get up and he's still half asleep, until you get back into bed or have him begrudgingly accept that you have plans and things to do and you have to be up etc etc

expanding on the previous point a little, i feel like he's not really the type to have many lie ins? idk i feel like being a space pirate captain is kind of a busy, "get up early" kind of ordeal especially if he and his crew have something planned

but especially if you're not always one for adventures and you decide to stay home sometimes, kenna will probably end up being extremely clingy with you when he gets back and spends the time he can to relax with you and have lie ins where he can just cuddle with you since there's nothing exactly impending he has to sort out

probably second is quality time fr kenna will jump at the chance to spend time doing things with you, most often he will also invite you on his funny little space adventures unless he knows it's going to be something dangerous (although fair play if he knows you could handle yourself there)

although aside from adventures i seem to have convinced myself that kenna likes playing videogames despite the fact i'm not even sure if he'd 100% canonically have any lmao i forgot if they're ever mentioned to be a thing in the dream world but oh well

"YES I WON AGAIN OMG" and then kenna's there being all proud of you for winning as if he wasn't consistently being distracted by how excited you were whilst playing the game with him so technically it was an easy win but he's not going to tell you that so-

he will like bring you cool things from other planets he goes to, like especially if you're a "collects little trinkets" type of person (im guilty of this ;u;), like cool little crystal things and stuff, or just things that he can reasonably bring back that reminded him of you

i feel like he can't cook because he's like never really had to? like he has his dad who woulda looked after him as a kid and then he inherited his position from his dad so he'd probably have people in his crew who cook for him now, or he just exclusively eats out or eats pre-packaged foods (wow i went on a little tangent here) but like yeah if you cooked for him even like just once he'd adore it so much, even if it was just like the simplest meal you've made in your life

he doesn't leave you alone when you're sick, of course unless you want alone time, but otherwise he is just completely unfazed by "but you might get sick too if you're staying with me for so long" and more concerned with keeping you company and making sure you're okay and looking after you

this one's kind of a given but he writes you music!! he's probably a little shy at first about showing you because what if you don't like it or what if you think he's being too much and it weirds you out? that doubt is completely gone after the first time he shows you something he's written for you though

he has. he has a little notebook he just carries around with him and it's like one of his most treasured possessions fr because he writes little snippets of things that could become song lyrics or he writes little ideas for "oh this song could sound like this" except it's just like the most wholesome thing because ever since you two started dating it's mostly just been like cute romantic stuff and like "i like (name) i like them a lot and this song is about them brrrrr <333" sjdhsjdsjd

gives you his cape to like use as a blanket (wrap around yourself, drape on your shoulders etc) if you're like waiting somewhere for something and its cold, even though it's not exactly the best solution but at least it's some kind of solution i suppose and he's trying sjdjdjd

also btw just know he'd probably go to the ends of the universe for you or something if you ever needed anything so don't hesistate to communicate about anything you need (i say, having communication issues myself help sjdjfjdd) i don't think he actually has the capability to ever see you as a burden

also goes pretty much the same with how he'd defend you with his life if he ever needed to go that far

you probably had your first kiss after some particularly precarious space adventure, either when kenna came home or when you had a peaceful moment if you were there with him, idk the whole "i know we've been taking things slowly but we could have lost each other today" type thing

but now at this point he will literally just pepper you with kisses whenever he gets the chance like fr he's literally just- most affectionate man to ever have lived. has also probably like kissed the back of your hand all fancy like or swept you up into his arms and kissed you all dramatically at least twice

you've seen how he reacted to a breakup now imagine how wholesomely dramatic he can get when he's actually in a relationship

he's also a really good listener!! he loves hearing you talk about your interests as well as listening if you have a problem- your happiness is his happiness so as mentioned earlier with the "ends of the universe" thing he won't hesitate to try to help with anything

do the same for him tho okay :(( he needs holding gently both physically and emotionally after his whole ordeal with sweetheart

i have no idea why i left this until so far down but space related (ig) pet names for each other are a must, like starlight and moonbeam and i don't actually have any others to hand rn those two just live in my brain rent free. also expect a lot of likely cheesy compliments of the same nature like "i've been travelling this universe my entire life and you're still the brightest star i've ever seen"

#captain spaceboy #space boyfriend #space ex husband #space ex boyfriend #halkenna fairway #omori #omori headcanons #space boyfriend x reader #captain spaceboy x reader

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piedoesnotequalpi · 6 months

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Fake Fic Title:

From The Ladder’s Last Rung

Hello! I am fairly sure (after some googling) that your title is a reference to a Noah Kahan song!

Anyway, to me "last rung" can mean either the highest or the lowest point on a ladder, depending on your perspective, and that is the premise of this fic concept!

Race goes through elementary/middle/high school with a reputation of being both the class clown and one of the smartest people in his grade. What most people don't know, though, is that he uses the class clown part of his personality to deflect from the fact that he is not doing as well, grades-wise, as people might think--sure, he takes AP history when it's available, but he never gets higher than a B- on his report card for it. So when senior year rolls around, the combination of good grades in most other subjects and extracurriculars that make him seem interesting means he is able to get into one of his reach schools.

Anyway, Race goes off to school and he's very excited about the whole thing. He can finally put history, which is his least favorite subject, in the metaphorical rearview mirror; he's going to major in math and minor in dance; he's going to join all the clubs that weren't available to him in high school. During course registration, he ignores the suggestion from his RA that he should perhaps consider only taking one math class his first semester and registers for honors calculus (yes, this is a thing at some colleges) and an upper-level math class that only has a prerequisite of calc 1 and 2.

The problem with college, especially the first semester, is that it is often a big adjustment from high school no matter what your high school was like. Classes that really should not be taught lecture-style are taught that way, you're (sometimes) in a new city/town and even if you aren't you probably don't know a ton of people, and suddenly you have a much higher degree of independence. So Race is dealing with the general first semester freshman woes of making new friends and having a roommate and balancing time and navigating dining halls, but he's also dealing with the fact that for the first time in his life, he's struggling in his math classes. And that makes everything worse for him, because if he can't even do the one thing he's supposed to be really really good at, then how can he get through the rest of college? Does he even deserve to be there? Clearly his college made a mistake when they accepted him despite his less-than-perfect history grades. (those are his thoughts, not mine; he does deserve to be there)

As I mentioned earlier, he's used to using his class clown-esque personality to deflect from what's actually going on in his life, so almost no one knows how stressed he is. He still talks to his high school friends a lot, but so many of them are at their colleges having (as far as he's aware) a much easier time adjusting, so he doesn't want to talk about it with most of them. He goes to office hours sometimes, but he is very careful about which problems he gets help with to keep up the illusion that he knows what's going on. This would be less of a problem if he met up with his classmates to do homework, but he's worried he won't be useful enough to them. And obviously he would rather die than tell his new college acquaintances how overwhelmed he's feeling. The semester goes by in a blur of homework stress and club meetings and conversations where he just barely manages to convince everyone that he's doing okay (it's a lot harder than it used to be), all overlaid by the feeling that he's not good enough.

Being a college student gets easier, but not easy enough that he's able to turn everything around by the end of the semester. He withdraws from one of his math classes, and doesn't do great in the other, and he does...okay in his other classes. It's not the end of the world, but it does mean he has to drop out of the honors calculus sequence and possibly retake the class he withdrew from. But that doesn't stop Race from feeling like a failure, even though the only people who see his grades are him and his parent(s) (I haven't decided what his parent situation is in this), and they're understanding. It'll be easy to make up the credits he lost from the course withdrawal by taking some lower credit electives in later semesters, and he has seven more semesters to raise his GPA and figure things out.

And then we come back to the title and my (mis)interpretation of it (I wasn't just rambling pointlessly this whole time): To Race's parent(s), he's fallen off the bottom rung of the metaphorical ladder, so it's pretty manageable to get back up and keep going. But to Race, he's fallen off the top rung, because he can't stop thinking that he peaked in high school.

Things do get better for him, and later on he'll probably experience stuff that's way worse and wish it were just a rough first semester of undergrad, but in the moment, it really sucks!

#i hope i captured the feeling of stuff like this being the Absolute End Of The World #because being and adult/grad student has really changed my perspective #anyway hope you enjoy these angstboi hours #thanks for the ask!#my writing #ask game #asks #blurglesmurfklaine #racetrack higgins #isabel.tex #to any high schoolers or college freshmen reading this:#your first semester will probably suck if you choose to go to college. it will get better.#and if your RA recommends against you taking a class at least take it into consideration #okay posting this hoping it doesn't suck and meeting my friend for dinner #enjoy!

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lumpkinboi · 10 months

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Flat Affect

a thing i've found out by googling the other day is something called flat affect, which i really resonated with and it brought to light what i've been dealing with since forever.

i'm not sure what's the problem in my head, but i'm not neurotypical. i have a very serious anxiety problem and i also have a very difficult time interfacing with regular social norms in conversation. people mentioned that i'm weird, that i have a very intense gaze, that i look scary and that i talk very little.

i'm not stupid, i'm very aware of these issues, but one thing that always struck a cord in me was the weird part. why am i weird? is it the way i walk? it is a little slanted sometimes. maybe it was because i'm tall and my back isn't very straight. it could be the way i talk, when i get nervous (which is usual if i'm talking to someone i'm unfamiliar with) i stutter a lot.

but none of these really made much sense. stuttering isn't weird, nor is being nervous. having a crooked back might look a bit weird, but it doesn't make you weird to talk to. and walking doesn't have anything to do with talking either.

it made me become more self aware of how i talked to people, and eventually i started realizing why people think that about me, but i never managed to put it in words. i have a symptom called flat affect, which took me a long time to find. i kinda found it on a whim a few nights ago when i was in bed.

what flat affect does is make you unable to properly externalize emotion. very often in conversation, i acknowledge what someone said to me, but i don't know how to respond. conversation doesn't flow naturally. it's not that i ignored them, i just don't know how to convey that i acknowledged what was said. so i'll laugh, or smile, to try to keep it less awkward. but that doesn't work, because, as it turns out, my "intense gaze" as people described it also stems from that same flat affect.

i started smiling in the mirror the same way i smile to other people and i realized that they can't see my smile. i can feel my facial muscles contort as i try to smile, and i know i am smiling, but it doesn't look like it. from an outside perspective, it looks like i'm staring you down, but to me, i feel like i'm smiling.

another issue with flat affect is body language. i'm really difficult to read, and that makes people unsettled. i don't move my body a lot when speaking to people, so it's feels like talking to a statue. i'm also very blunt, straight forward, and my voice is fairly monotone, which might get people confused and think i'm angry or annoyed at them.

that's not to say i have trouble experiencing emotion. having trouble showing emotional responses and feeling emotions are not the same thing. i get happy, sad, angry, shocked, just like anybody else, it's just hard for me to show it without literally saying what i feel like.

that being said, i'm not insecure about it. it's just how i am and how i look like, and i'm accepting of it. it's a little annoying to deal with, and i'm sure it's something i can overcome with therapy and whatnot, so i'm not too worried about it. i just thought it was interesting to learn about and share it.

#neurodivergent #flat affect #neurodivergency #i also know a lot of autistic people experience this #i am not autistic #i don't think so at least #just in case anybody gets confused

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lulu2992 · 7 months

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@thereverberationof-blog

Thank you for your reply. All the articles you wrote are interesting vinegar. I see, there are differences in acting etc. depending on the language. I'm really happy to hear that. To be honest, I also cannot accept "New Dawn" and "Joseph collapse" as canonical history of "5". I will explain why I thought that Nick in the Japanese version of "New Dawn" was different from "5". In 5, when Nick calls the sheriff for the first time, he uses "you" in the second person, and only during the battle to protect Kim does he use the word "buddy". However, when New Dawn's Nick met his captain for the first time, he used the second person term, such as "buddy." I didn't understand what it meant. Because as long as I played 5, it seemed like Nick didn't have that kind of personality. *Calling someone "buddy（Aibo）" in Japanese is proof that you trust them. Jacob refers to the Female Deputy in the arcade as "honey" or "angel," but when he uses those words in Japanese, it just seems like he's picking on someone of the opposite sex, so he uses "you" in all cases. He also never calls Pratt "Peach." In Japanese, for a man of Jacob's age to be called something like that gives a rather casual impression. Other than that, there was the fact that Joseph had a hand in female believers, and as long as I played the Japanese version, I couldn't understand that. Of course, I think it's true that many cult leaders have their hands on their followers. However, if that's the case, it feels odd that Faith doesn't mention it before she dies. Is it only the face that is special? As far as I've researched actual cults, the most dangerous one is Faith. There are other things I'd like to say, but to be honest, I didn't like the New Dawn scenario, and it wasn't fun to play. So maybe that's what you think… Sorry for the long post. I like Far Cry 5. There's no one around you who takes things as seriously as you do. Thank you for reading. (1/2)

Oh, sorry for the previous post. Nick refers to the second person when he calls the main character. "Partner" and "buddy" may have been mixed together. In Japanese, Nick refers to the main character as ``相棒''. It's called Aibo. I don't really understand the nuance of partner/buddy/sidekick when translated into English. Also, I didn't understand why Nick was attracted to Dep. Even though they became friends in New Eden, they were really good friends in 5. Also, Carmina's godfather is supposed to be Dep… Other characters may only see the Judge as a victim. I didn't feel any discomfort with the translations of Hark, Sharkey, etc., so why? That's what I felt. If you don't feel it in French or English, maybe there was some kind of purpose in the voice actor's performance or translation. Also, since it was a long post, I left most of it to Google Translate. Sorry if there's something that doesn't make sense! (2/2)

Thanks again! I’m glad you like my posts :) And for the same reasons as New Dawn (inconsistencies), the Collapse DLC isn’t canon to me either…

Okay, I understand why Nick seemed different to you in Japanese, and it looks like it was because of the translation. I don’t speak Japanese, but from what I know, there are many pronouns and honorifics used in very specific contexts, so the ones the localization team picks can create a nuance/feeling that wasn’t originally there in English. It’s indeed super interesting!

And sometimes, it’s the opposite: some innuendos, puns, or references get lost in translation, either because localization teams miss them or because they simply can’t be translated. I personally don’t think Joseph got involved with his female followers, but some people believe it’s what “I put my faith inside her” in Faith’s eulogy hinted at in English. I’ve already talked about this but, in French and several other languages, the (presumed) double meaning is completely absent. One word can really change everything.

When you mentioned the fact that Nick gradually became friendlier with the Deputy in English, it made me realize something about the French version. So, in my language, to say “you”, we either use “tu” or “vous”. “Tu” is singular and used among friends, family members, or usually to address children. “Vous” is either plural or singular, and in the second case, it’s more formal and polite than “tu”. You use “vous” to address someone you’ve just met, aren’t very familiar with, or to talk to a superior, for example.

When Nick addresses the Deputy in the French version, he still often calls them “partenaire” (“partner”) but he only uses the pronoun “vous”, so that creates a distance between them that originally didn’t exist! The other Gun For Hire who always uses “vous” is Grace, but Adelaide, Jess, Hurk, and Sharky say “tu”. I’m not sure why the French localization team made this choice, but again, I think it’s interesting that these differences exist.

About Jacob, in French, he doesn’t use nicknames in Arcade either. No “honey” or “angel” for us… And when he calls Pratt “peaches”, what he says in French is “mon grand”, which is usually an affectionate term used to address little boys. In the context of the scene, though, it’s clearly sarcastic and belittling. He’s basically saying, “Let the grown-ups talk.”

As for the Judge in New Dawn, in French, it seems to me that Hurk and Nick aren’t as uncomfortable around them as they are in English. Nick’s tone is more casual when he asks them if they’re okay in Prosperity, and Hurk doesn’t sound that scared during their “conversation” at Roughneck’s Crag, just confused.

So yes, it’s truly fascinating how playing a game in one language instead of another can make us see things differently!

#now I want to check who says ‘tu’ and who says ‘vous’ to the deputy in french #would anyone else be interested in knowing that?#I know the seeds all say ‘tu’#far cry 5 #far cry new dawn #far cry 5 spoilers #far cry new dawn spoilers

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wisteria-lodge · 1 year

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lion primary + slightly burnt bird secondary

Hello ! I did the quiz twice with slightly different results and I wanted to have your opinion cause I'm having trouble figuring it out. I tried to keep it short, but it's 4 pages on my google sheet i'm sorry, if it's too long I'll cute some parts there's not problem !

Also, I hope it's the right "place" to send it, I wasn't sure.

You're doing great, although all that apologizing his making me think we're going to run into some burning here.

PRIMARY

Lion: “Lions are probably the most likely to forgive their enemies, if those enemies seem to repent and change.” → I always say that it’s how you end that matters, not who you were before.

I mean, I would hope so. That's a human thing. The real question is what proof will you take that someone has really changed. That's where we start getting into primaries.

“For a Badger, it is not about sides or repentance; it is about the inherent worth of a human being. Badgers who value other people in that way can and often will help someone or forgive someone who they dislike, distrust, or disrespect.” → No way. Not everyone deserves respect or help. It’s better to be right than kind. And being kind to someone bad isn’t right.

That's intense. And probably points to either a Lion (possibly a Badger defining people out of their community, it depends where the rest of this goes.) But I'm leaning Lion. This knee-jerk 'some people are just BAD' and 'it's WRONG to be kind to bad people,' is a Lion's felt morality. A Badger would be more likely to say something like 'lack of kindness CREATES bad people,' or that the kindness *itself* is moral, rather than the Lion classic 'it's better to be morally right than to keep the peace.'

Snake vs Lion: If Snakes will be loyal to their loved ones and they won’t leave them on any instance, but Lions will be willing to leave friends or family members behind if they disagree on some important values and principles, then I’m stuck between the two.

Family is very important to me. I’ve always been close to my parents, sister and brother. We share the same principles and we generally agree on the same things but there are still differences sometimes that bothers me (ordinary sexism for ex). At one time, I was so pissed off that I didn’t want to see them during the holidays. But I feel like it’s my responsibility to make them understand my point of view and to educate them on certain subjects. I wouldn't do this much effort for people I barely know, but it’s my family and I don’t want to lose them. I think that if they were really intolerant and opposed to my principles, I would avoid them, but I would be really depressed about it. And I’ll never stop trying to change their minds.

That's... a really really REALLY Lion primary answer.

I hate losing people. I’ve always wanted a friendship that would lasts forever. But I had this friend, she was “problematic”. But, bc she was my friend, I was avoiding some topics so that we could just chill. But she started to debate at parties, and me, hearing these things, I couldn't stay silent. And then she was like “you’re so annoying, we can’t say anything with you”. I tried to explain to her how I was feeling so she could understand me. But due to our disagreements and her refusal to listen to me, I ended our friendship.

Lion. Lions have a LOT of trouble nurturing friendships or close relationships with people whose stances don't line up with theirs. And it might be hard, but they ultimately feel good and kind of badass about giving those people reduced access to them.

It was a bit hard, but I won’t accept toxic relationships and intolerant people.

Like, if you were a Snake, you would have just rolled your eyes when your friend started talking politics at parties, and changed the subject. It wouldn't have felt like it mattered all that much. I'm also considering Lion secondary to you, because going into hard-core debate at parties is a *choice,* and not one that everyone would make. Because like you say, it runs the risk of making you seem annoying, a buzzkill, holier-than-thou. But a Lion secondary is willing to take the hit, and they get a lot of their power that way.

“Ultimately, lions are about their principles, not people. No matter the means, if the end is what is needed, then it all works out.” → Principles are important because people are. When you fight for a cause, you fight for people. I think it’s more like Lions fight for people they don’t know personally, who can be different, because it’s right, whereas Snakes for instance can do that but it’s not their priority. As for the end justify the means, again, it depends on the situation. I wouldn’t agree with this every time. Also, I realized that if I knew everyone personally, I wouldn't fight for them, I would fight them.

Oh man, are either are really a Lion secondary, or just REALLY live in your primary.

(The rest of it is just people stuff)

I often wonder if people are worth it. (cf. wonder woman “they don’t deserve our help”). Like, I have the feeling that almost everyone is either sexist, racist, lgbtphobic, etc. when they’re not all of that at the same time.

You know, I am going to pull up that scene from Wonder Woman. I want to talk about how it fits into this system.

DIANA: My mother was right. She said `the world of men don't deserve you.' That's why she left. They don't deserve our help.

STEVE: It's not about whether they deserve it or not. It's about what you believe. You think I don't get it? All I've seen out there? I wish I could tell you that there was one `bad guy' to blame. Maybe we're all to blame. But that doesn't mean we shouldn't try to do better. (beat) And if you believe this war should stop, Diana, if you want to stop it, then help me stop it.

Diana is a hurting Lion primary. It seems pointless, it seems hopeless, she's lost that burning moral certainty she had in the beginning. She doesn't even know if she wants to end the war anymore. But Steve is as Badger as Badger can get. He says it's a trap to talk about who 'deserves' saving, because everyone contributes to the whole, and all you can do push that whole back, or further into the light.

But that doesn't make sense to Diana. She's not really part of the whole, after all (she's both a really loud Lion, and an Amazon.) The argument that *does* make sense to her is the one she expresses later on.

DIANA: It's not about deserve... It's about what you believe... and I believe in love --

If you're a Lion, you *have* to believe in something, you just do. And Diana doesn't believe in people. She doesn't have to. She believes that love makes things better, and so she will love the world.

I believe that reformism is a tool when you have nothing else to ameliorate people’s conditions of life, but that only a revolution can change the system. But revolutions are violent, deadly, and even though I support it, would I be brave enough to give up my privileges, my life, my dreams, to fight for what’s right? I hope so.

I’ve always thought of Lion as the “activist." And I try to fight for what’s right. One day when I was a kid, my dad told me about the workers in the UK who went on strike for ONE YEAR in 1984-1985. He said some of them were so poor they had to eat rats and I was so shocked and admirative of their bravery that I still remember it years later. I’m always wondering if I could be as brave as them, and honestly, I don’t think so. But I try to be.

Strikes work. And I dunno. Everyone does suck, at least a little, and we should all do what we can to make ourselves healthier, wiser, better educated versions of ourselves. But that's kind of the point of Wonder Woman, and why it has to be set during World War I. People are capable of insane evil. But they're also capable of intense good, and if you burn it all down, you burn down the good too.

I try with small things, like saying what I think, not letting an injustice be unpunished. For example, my mother’s boyfriend said sexist and racist stuff so I stood up. I also try to do this at parties. It’s not easy bc i’m often portrayed as a buzz killer, a feminazi or else. But I feel really bad when I don’t do it, I feel guilty.

You feel morally in the wrong (because you're a really loud Lion.) I'd watch that retribution streak though. That's something I tend to see with Exploded Lions.

Lion vs Bird: Concerning my beliefs and principles, I like to have an opinion about everything bc I don’t believe in neutrality. Like, it’s okay not to know what to think about something, but it has to be temporary. I inform myself a lot. I want to know the truth, I believe there is one. Of course, reality is complex. But that doesn’t mean that there are not fair and unfair situations. Sometimes, it can be both. And for certain topics, I knew something was wrong even before getting some information and arguments, just cause I felt it was wrong.

We've definitely got a little Bird secondary going on here. Could be a model you love. Could just be your secondary.

“They can often feel extremely strongly about something… but have trouble breaking down their argument or explaining why (at least in the moment). You’re more likely to hear something like, “it’s wrong because it’s just wrong” from a Lion. They have internal voices which are very important to them, and matter a lot when they make decisions.” → THIS !!!! For example with death penalty, I felt it was wrong without knowing anything around this debate. I only read and did research after. Sometimes, I do some research on a topic because I don’t have an opinion on it, other times I do this but I already have an opinion and I'm searching for arguments to justify it.

Lion primary. And from one Lion primary to another, beware any black-and-white worldview. It's a thought-killer. But yeah, sometimes you have to go though the process of deciding *why* you think something.

“A Bird can explain the structure of ‘why’ they believe what they believe (and will probably be thrilled you asked. More importantly, they will be happy to field any questions and have a discussion about it. A Lion might do this… but it would be an all-around more stressful conversation, and not a fun thing to do over brunch.” → Reading this, I thought about all the debates I had about feminism, rape culture, the use of racist or homophobic slurs and yes this is stressful, because people say horrible things.

Of course, you're fighting from a place or morality (not practicality or utility, which is always easier.) And, chances are when you're debating these things, you're fighting for your survival and of course that's stressful.

(it's just not a fair fight, when only one party is risking getting hurt)

It’s not that I doubt my arguments and analysis, just that people are not easily convinced, even with facts.

My take on this is that very few people are convinced by facts, and almost never in-the-moment. Debates are not meant to change the mind of the person you're debating. They're meant to change the mind of any observers that might be on the fence, or to get into someone's mind like a splinter and just sort of - wait their chance.

So yeah, don't let racist jokes slide (I wouldn't) but also don't... feed the trolls. There are a lot of people who want to make bad-faith arguments just designed to get you angry. And you can't teach people who don't want to learn. Just do your thing, be visible, and when those people are ready - they know where to find you.

“When Lions change their minds it’s a much messier situation, and takes a lot longer.” → Some of my opinions have changed, evolved. It’s unpleasant to see that we were wrong, but not everyone can be right every time. The important thing to me is to realize your faults and act better. But yeah, sometimes, it hurts.

It does. But it sounds like you already know that the most important thing is to remember that you might be working with flawed/incomplete data just the same as everyone else, and *always* might be wrong.

“There are also [Birds] who believe that truth is discoverable, and there is a universal, objective truth, and that they have found it. Maybe it’s not perfect, but it’s solid, and they’re sure that if they explain it sufficiently to someone else, that person would also see the truth of it. [Bird] Primaries also value internal consistency. Hypocrisy means that something is off, and wrong, and it irritates them.” → Hypocrisy is one of the things I hate the most specifically because it’s pure lies, denial and bad faith. I always make sure that I’m always in the truth and on the right path, and that I don’t let myself get carried away by my ego or else. Not always easy.

I know that 'hypocrisy' is often held up as THE thing that most annoys Birds, but all your language here is really Lion. 'Denial' 'Bad faith' - that's feeling something is right and deliberately going against it (a lion would *hate* that.) And really intense, exploded Lions tend to get swallowed up by their ego... while intense exploded Bird almost have no ego at all.

SECONDARY

I think the first time I did the quiz I had bird secondary, but the second time I did it, I had this result : Burned Snake Secondary.

Okay, that's really interesting. I totally see the Bird, but I never would have guessed *snake.*

It said that: “It doesn’t feel deceitful to a Snake to change to fit the needs of their environment: to be kind with this person, forceful with this one, erudite to the next. This adaptability can be applied to manipulation, influence, and power, but a Snake secondary can just as easily focus their efforts on maintaining friendships, making people happy, encouraging positive social change, or streamlining communication.” → I’d feel bad if I was being nice to someone I hate except if the point behind this fake nice attitude was to trick them. Because then, it would be justified and not just because I’m scared to say what I think of them.

This seems to tie back to your primary. It's not uncommon for Idealists (Lion and Bird) to be REALLY against lying - even a little bit, in any circumstance. It's very Kant. BUT, if your primary was okay with lying for some reason... then of course lying would be all right.

But "being nice to someone I hate [because] the point behind this fake nice attitude was to trick them" isn't a Snake sentiment, because that wouldn't feel fake to a Snake. It wouldn't feel deceitful, it wouldn't feel like lying, it would feel like just a communication style.

If anything, what you're describing here sounds *more* like a situation specific Actor Bird - a you have a Nice!You, in order to get things from people you hate.

As a teen, I wanted to be myself,

Human stuff. (But that kind of existential how-do-I-define-myself angst is especially common with Lion primary.)

but I also wished for people to see my worth. I was searching for others’ validation and it often led me to elaborate a bunch of strategies to get noticed and “admired” where I needed to be a bit hypocritical sometimes. But this whole era is hard to explain.

Glory Hound Lion primary. (It's common, it's a classic.)

“A burned Snake secondary might want to be flexible, adaptable, and clever, but they feel like they are (or like people think they are) clumsy, unobservant, or blunt.” → I sometimes feel like I’m dumb in the way like I’m not particularly cunning but I wish to be.

Look... everyone thinks Snake secondaries are cool...

SNAKE : “They naturally create the mask, the persona, that the situation requires, and shift out of it just as easily.” → I try to put on masks to appear on my best day, especially with people I just met. But it’s so hard to keep it, I usually forget how I was supposed to act and talk, and end up being my normal self. But I like the cunning part, I don’t know if i’m good at that but I would love to be. I have this recent example where I wanted to know something about a friend of mine, but it felt weird and rude to ask her directly so I bypassed the topic and she told me what I wanted to know.

I think all this is just being garden-variety polite. (Which you talk about as basically as an Actor Bird persona, that you don't especially love.)

I also try to adapt to people in order to convince them. I know how they can react and I adapt my speech to them, because if I don’t, they’re gonna reject it directly. But I don’t think I’m snake bc I can’t restrain myself from being myself. For example, when I was like 12, I was in this awkward situation where my friends and I were hanging out, and one of my “friends” mocked me, while the others said nothing. It was a habit : this girl bullied me but we still hung out bc we had the same friends. It happened to me again a couple of years ago. So I was shutting my mouth bc I was afraid of losing all my friends if I stood up. But eventually one day, I was so angry that I told them how I felt. Both times, one month is all I could endure of their bullying. And both times, when I spoke, it just slipped out. I really had zero control. And even though I was afraid of the consequences, it felt good to say the truth and not let them walk over me.

Hmmm. I mean, no one likes being bullied. And just blurting out stuff unwisely because you're angry, that's just a person thing. It didn't make you feel strong after all, it make you feel out of control. Which is why it doesn't seem to point to your secondary.

In general, you seem pretty comfortable with the single-player version of your Bird secondary. But you're in process of getting comfortable with the multi-player version. You... don't totally trust your ability to use it yet, but I'm not sure I would call it burned.

I also had a LION MODEL which says that: “Lion values honesty and integrity. If you model Lion secondary, you also value these things and like to live by them. You like to be honest, straightforward, and consistent-- but you wouldn't feel guilty for abandoning those values in the service of other, higher priorities. It would be nice if you could always say what you mean and stick with it-- but sometimes you have to be circumspect, restrained, or practical, and you don't feel bad about that.” And elsewhere I red about Lions secondary that : “Every other secondary will act or wear different personas, but to a Lion that feels immoral.” → I don’t think it’s immoral, but sometimes i’m tired of pretending. In fact, I like to put on a mask and play a part if it’s to manipulate people I don’t like, or if it’s just to obtain information that I can’t have just by asking. But I hate situations where I have to be polite and pretend that I like people I can’t stand. For example, I’ll have to have dinner with my mother’s boyfriend who said racist stuff and I’ll have to be polite and it’s going to make me feel bad/guilty. I try to be more honest.

When you HAVE to do things, it make them a lot less fun. That's just being human. Authenticity is - a presentation that you have given your consent to, free and clear, in the knowledge that you could have just as easily said no. It's fun to play a part and be nice when it's you deciding to do that all on your own, to get something you want. But playing a part and being nice because you HAVE to, because you have no other choice... no one likes that.

LIONS : “They charge into situations and have faith in their intuition” → I can feel in my gut that a situation is unfair

That's your primary talking.

but for general topics in everyday life, when I have a choice to make, I can’t decide. Choices are hard for me. I’m not an improviser, I plan everything. But sometimes, I wish I could let go of things.

I'm really doubling down on Bird secondary for you. And feeling sort of stuck, incapable of making a practical decision - that's something I see with Bunt secondaries, *especially* with Burnt Bird secondaries.

“Lions solve problems by being committed (or stubborn.)” → I made myself a promise when I was a child, to never give up. I don’t even feel like I have a choice, I don’t like to give up on things or people, so I will always try. I only give up when I have no other choice.

That's your primary talking again. (You have a very loud primary)

BIRDS: When I was a kid, I wanted to be the smartest in the world like Einstein and thought that knowing everything by heart was enough 😂

Ooooh... young Bird. Such classic young Bird secondary.

Sometimes I’m scared not to have time to learn enough in my lifetime. And one of the reasons why I want to realize documentaries as my job, is to learn, and teach people. I want to give people information and try to make them understand things, and maybe change their minds, make them see the truth.

I think you'd be a fantastic documentarian.

(Also? You've collected quotes about the different primaries and secondaries from at least three different sources, collected them here, and arranged your response around them. A very Bird secondary problem solving method.)

Since I was a child, it’s really hard for me to take decisions because first, I want everything lmao, and secondly, I'm always making sure I have all the information and I'm always waiting for the "perfect moment" so I just freeze in place.

A lot of Bird secondaries have this problem. And hate the idea that they're never going to know everything, or KNOW that something is the perfect moment. A Lion primary comes in handy here - sometimes you just have to kick your butt into doing *something*... because doing nothing is just as much as choice as everything else.

I love to-do lists. I love traveling and I make super detailed lists about the countries I want to visit and the things I wanna do and see in order not to forget anything. Because I don’t wanna miss a thing. I’m always afraid of wasting my time and life. I’m not against improvisation sometimes, but not when it could waste the only chance I have to do/see something that really matters to me. I know I want control over everything, and I’m a bit of a perfectionist too, often leading me disappointed.

Bird. And watch that perfectionist streak. You'll never do anything if you only accept immediate perfection.

Badger : “Rather than an integrity of performance (as with Lion Secondaries, who must be themselves or wither), there is an integrity of method with Badger. Things must be earned. Interactions and achievements must be fair.”→ I do want to earn my success. But when it comes to decisions that have an impact on people, I wouldn’t mind using manipulation and lies. If, for example, the only way to legalize abortion at some point in one’s country was to threatened anti-abortion voters to make them change their votes, I would do it, because first I don’t mind if they got scared and most of all, because the stakes are too high.

Kind of an interesting way to end, okay. And let's unpack this.

First off, it's definitely not a Badger answer. A Badger would say that a victory built on an unstable foundation, like a foundation of fear, of propaganda, of misinformation, is never going to be a *lasting* victory. But Badgers generally take longer to get where they're going, and sometimes you *do* need something to happen *now* or someone's going to die, which is pretty much the only place threats of violence have. I mean, fear is just a bad motivator. It's that whole consensual behavior thing. If you only do something because you're afraid of what will happen to you if you don't, then you just get resentful and better at hiding.

You also like these hypothetical power fantasies. "If the only way to legalize abortion was to blackmail/exhort/threaten the friends and family of the people behind an anti-abortion bill, would you do it?" It's a fun philosophical question in a trolley problem kind of way, but practically - that's never going to be the case because the world isn't that simple. I get that you're young, I get that you feel powerless, I get that the idea of scaring these people that say things that scare you feels good. But I get protective of young firebrand Lion primaries, because we *do* need you, and I *don't* want you to burn yourself out. OR hit that "Everyone not with me is an enemy" mindset, which just narrows down choices and possibilities.

Stay strong. Find some good friends. Don't let your mom's boyfriend give you a hard time. You're going to be okay.

#submission #shc #sortinghatchats #lion primary #bird secondary #burnt bird secondary #burnt secondary #lion bird

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