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libraryofgage · 3 months

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Harlequin Prince (2)

Part of: Steve Deserves Good Parents, Actually

This part was line-jumped on Ko-Fi, which means y'all got it sooner than I originally planned!

If you want to line jump your favorite series, you can learn more here

Ironically, even tho the post says about a week of turn around, I get so excited that somebody wants to line jump that I just write it immediately lmao

Steve finally gets a good fight in this one, but it ends way too soon the poor boy. Either way, he also gets to meet some of the party!

As always, if you see any typos, no you didn't ;)

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Steve knew his dad wasn't in the picture, but he never knew why. He never asked, but he started to get this horrible feeling after a while. Harley Quinn's past was well known to Steve, her previous...associate and her relationship with him isn't exactly a secret, no matter how much his mother tried to keep them from him. She couldn't protect him at school, and she couldn't protect him from hearing people talking on the streets.

So, yeah, from the age of nine, Steve walked around with this horrendous knowledge in his gut, a knowledge that he wanted to think was just him being paranoid. But it wasn't. He knew it wasn't. He just couldn't admit that to himself, and he couldn't ask his mother because he didn't want to send her down that particular lane of memories. So it festered, and Steve pretended it didn't exist at all.

Until, that is, his 13th birthday. It was held at Uncle Bruce's mansion because his mother wanted to go all out. It was as much a celebration for her (a full three years without getting sent to Arkham!) as it was for him (managing to stay alive for 13 years in Gotham with Harley Quinn for a mother). Steve hadn't minded, either, especially when he saw the absolute joy she had when picking out the hugest bounce-house she could find with Uncle Bruce's sleek black credit card.

The party was catered by Steve's favorite Indian restaurant, the guests were limited to immediate friends and family, the bounce-house was extra bouncy, and a table was practically buckling under the weight of the gifts piled on top of it. It was, by far, Steve's best birthday, surpassing even the one he spent in Arkham after letting Poison Ivy out of her cell.

"Hey, Dumplin'!" his mother shouted, waving at him from the top of the bounce house she'd managed to climb. When Steve looked at her, she grinned even brighter and jumped, launching off turrets and rolling down sloped walls before landing on her feet on the ground. "Let's get to them presents!"

Steve laughed, looked at the table eagerly, and nodded. Her grin somehow getting wider, Harley turned, cupped her hands around her mouth, and shouted, "GET YOUR ASSES IN GEAR, EVERYONE! STEVIE'S OPENIN' PRESENTS!"

Soon enough, Steve was standing in front of the table, surrounded by everyone, and not at all sure where to start with the mountain of presents. "You should open mine first," Jason said, grinning as he gestured to a bike-shaped package.

It was, in fact, a bike. A motorcycle, specifically, with a red and black helmet and the promise of lessons from Jason whenever he wanted. Steve loved it immediately and ignored Uncle Bruce muttering about driving laws and how Steve couldn't operate any motorized vehicle until he was fifteen. "Well," he said, "as long as I don't get caught by Batman, who's gonna know?"

That had earned him a laugh and his mother's hand ruffling his hair. "Go on, Dumplin', choose another."

Dick got him a literal outfit's worth of Wonder Woman merch, accessories included, that made Bruce look ready to pop a blood vessel. Tim gave him small tracking pins and a hacked handheld game console to watch the trackers with the promise of free upgrades anytime he wanted. Damien gave him daggers since he "wasn't good enough for real swords, but everyone should have a blade" on them, just in case. Cass, Steph, and Barbara pooled their skills together (and Alfred, they borrowed Alfred a lot) to make him an Unofficial Robin costume, complete with shorts only slightly less scandalous than Dick's original costume.

Bruce, when he finally stopped glaring at the three of them, gave Steve a fingerprint panic button shaped like a bat and easily attached to a key ring. "For emergencies, Steve," he said, "Just hold your thumb to it for three seconds."

"This is perfect for the next time we run out of ice cream," Steve said, grinning as he attached it to his key chain.

"Emergencies."

"Oh. So if we run out of mint chip, specifically. Got it."

Bruce merely sighed and let him return to opening gifts.

Alfred gave him a tin of homemade cookies that Steve immediately had to protect from the others. Poison Ivy gave him a Venus flytrap and the promise to help him grow it properly. Selina couldn't be there, but Bruce passed along her gift: a pair of goggles Bruce had handed over with a sigh and quiet request for him to use them responsibly.

Steve opened Duke's present last, eyes widening at the red leather jacket. "Wait, seriously?" he asked, holding it up as he looked at Duke.

"You're gonna be a troublemaker, Steve," Duke said. "Might as well make sure you're bulletproof for it."

Steve grinned wider and pulled on the jacket, swimming in the leather but eager to grow into it all the same.

There was nothing from his mother in the pile, but Steve figured the party itself was his present since she'd done all the planning. When she pulled him away to a secluded room in the manor after they'd all had cake, Steve realized it was just because she didn't want to share this moment with anyone.

She smiled at him, reaching up and gently tucking a few strands of hair behind Steve's ears. "You grew up so fast, Dumplin'," she said, sighing softly.

"Ivy says I'm like a weed."

"Ives is right," Harley said, nodding once before looking away. "Okay, ready for your present?"

"Wasn't the party my present?"

"No, no, Dumplin'. The party was for fun," she said, grinning as she reached behind her and pulled a comically-large mallet from seemingly nowhere. "This is your present."

Steve blinked, leaning over to look around Harley. "Where'd that even come from?" he asked.

"Jester Logic, Dumplin'. Don't worry about it. I'll teach you the trick later," she promised, holding the mallet out to Steve with an expectant expression.

When Steve took it, the weight threw him off. He frowned, shifted his grip, and suddenly had no problem holding it up. He took a closer look, noting the scratches and marks on the mallet and the faded paint. "This was yours," he said.

"Yeah, it was."

"I've never seen it before."

Harley sighed, tugging on one of her pigtails with a slight frown. "Yeah, well, I wasn't exactly a great person when I used it, Dumplin'. Tried to forget about that Harley and all," she explained.

"Then why give it to me?"

Harley looked back at Steve and smiled, reaching out to cup his cheek. "Cuz you're so much better than me," she said. "I think you'll do some great things, Dumplin', and maybe all the good you do will erase most of the bad this mallet's got."

Her words were so serious, her smile was so bittersweet, and she looked ready to cry and deny it. This was the closest he'd ever gotten to learning about her past straight from the source, a past he knew about it, a past that involved a certain person that haunts Steve's mind with terrifying potential. Suddenly, he had to know.

Steve didn't really think before blurting out, "Is the Joker my father?"

Harley froze, her shoulders tensing and her eyes widening as she stared at Steve. "You don't got a father, Dumplin'," she finally said, her voice quiet and her expression conflicted.

"Fine. Was he the sperm donor?"

With a sigh, Harley stepped closer and placed her hands on Steve's shoulders. "I won't lie," she said. "He is, but that don't mean a thing. His crazy ain't hereditary, Dumplin', and he's never gettin' anywhere near you."

"Does...does he know?" Steve whispered, "About me, I mean."

"It don't matter," Harley said, her voice firm and her eyes more serious than Steve had ever seen them. "I'll kill him before he gets near ya. Ives will kill him. Hell, Brucie wil---no, wait, he's got those pesky morals. Fine, Jason will kill him before he gets near ya. Actually, Jason'd kill him anyway, but the excuse will be good if Brucie scolds him for it."

Steve couldn't help laughing at that, feeling a little lighter when his mother smiled back at him. When his laughter trickled to nothing more than a smile, he asked, "Then, was I the reason you left?"

Harley nodded and gently tugged Steve into her arms, holding him to her and cradling the back of his head. "Yeah, you were," she said, her voice soft and soothing. "I was excited to tell 'im when I learned about you, but then I heard him talking to some goons. He was laughin' about running a kid over, breakin' their legs, and I realized...you wouldn't be special to him. You'd've been like his goons, all expendable and not even worth a glance. I couldn't put you through that, and I couldn't put me through it, either. So, I got us out the only way I knew how."

"By finding Uncle Bruce," Steve said.

He felt her nod. "By finding Brucie," she agreed. "He tried to deny bein' the Bat and all, but your mama ain't dumb, Dumplin'. I'd done my homework, and the butts matched. Once I explained it all, once I told him about you, he agreed to help."

Steve nodded, listening to his mother's heart beating against his ear. He glances down at the mallet again, tightens his grip, and takes a deep breath. "Thank you," he said, "for the gift and for telling me. I'll do good with it, I promise."

"That's my boy," Harley said, pulling back and ruffling his hair. "Now, lemme explain that Jester Logic to ya."

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Hawkins remains boring even after meeting Eddie. After all, Eddie's in high school (his second attempt at senior year, apparently), and Steve...isn't. He should be, probably, but there's no way he's stepping one foot in that suburban nightmare of a building. He can feel the normalcy, the utter boredom, oozing from the place, and he'd rather not subject himself to that.

So, he spends his day wandering around Hawkins, getting a feel for the little town until he could navigate the place blindfolded. He can do the same in Gotham, but it's more impressive there with the winding streets and sprawling sidewalks. Here, it's nothing special.

The most interesting part of his day is when he's sitting on the roof of a video store, one leg dangling over the edge with the other pulled to his chest so he can rest his arm on his knee. He's about halfway through a cigarette when a cop car pulls into the lot and a middle-aged man steps out.

He looks up at Steve, frowning as he calls up, "You shouldn't be there, son."

"I ain't your son," he calls back, grinning as he takes another drag and blows smoke out as the guy rests his hands on his belt. It reminds him so much of Gotham PD rookies trying to posture that Steve can't help laughing. "Is that supposed to intimidate me?"

"I'm serious, kid," the cop says, apparently ignoring Steve's question. "It's dangerous up there. If you don't come down, I'm gonna have to call the Fire Department to bring the ladder."

Steve sighs and puts his cigarette out on the roof. He gets up, stretches his arms above his head, and stands on the ledge of the roof. He grins at the cop, casually stepping into empty air and hearing the guy shout as he falls. He lands in a crouch on the awning over the door, swings to hang from it, and lands on his feet on the sidewalk.

It wasn't even much of a fall, but the cop looks like he's about to have a heart attack. Steve glances at the badge on his chest. "We done now, Officer Hopper?" he asks.

"Don't do that again," Hopper says, pointing a finger at Steve, "Or I will drag your ass to the station and call your parents."

Steve snorts, doing his best to hold his smile back. "I'll keep that in mind, sir," he says, giving a mocking two-finger salute before turning on his heels and walking down the street.

After a few blocks, he veers off into the forest, figuring he'll wander around the trees for a while before going to the Hideout to bother Bev and stare at Eddie and quietly pray someone else is gonna look for a fight.

Did he mention Hawkins is boring? Because it's fucking boring.

Steve sighs, kicking a stick as he shoves his hands into his jacket. He idly notes the forest is healthy. Sure, a few pieces of litter are strewn around, but it's not as bad as the parks in Gotham can get. Poison Ivy would find this place barely passable, which is hard to manage, and he's tempted to call her when he gets home to tell her about it.

He hums softly as he walks, enjoying the sounds of the forest until they just...stop.

The entire forest falls silent, which is weird; forests are too full of life to go silent. Even the bugs seem to have frozen in place, too scared to risk making a sound by moving. Steve stops, looking around him with a frown and trying to figure out what's caused this.

He gets the answer a second later when he hears a scream. The voice sounds young and cracks slightly, so it definitely belongs to a child. Despite himself, Steve can't help grinning as he takes off in the direction of the scream.

This is the most exciting thing to happen in the four weeks he's been stuck in Hawkins. As he runs through trees and easily jumps over bushes to take the shortest path, he makes guesses on what he'll find. Maybe Hawkins has a villain that's only now showing up. Maybe the town has a secret alligator or something that's decided to have a midday snack. Hell, maybe someone just decided to be a dick today.

He realizes every guess is wrong when he slides into a clearing to see a few kids (two boys, one girl) surrounded by some weird dog-looking...things. They have heads but no faces, crouched low to the ground and growling at the kids they've cornered. There's around ten of them, which would normally make Steve hesitate, but he's so desperate at this point for a real fight that he doesn't care.

Instead, he reaches over his shoulder, thinks about how fucking hilarious it's gonna be to jump out of nowhere with a giant mallet, and grips the handle as he swings it over his shoulder. "Hey, monster mutts!" he shouts, grinning when all the monsters and the kids finally notice him. "Let's play."

Pure, unfiltered joy rushes through him when the first monster-dog jumps at him. Steve's eyes are bright and his grin is positively feral as he swings the mallet and sends it flying into a tree. He roundhouse kicks another dog, using the momentum to bring his foot down on the head of a third before smashing its body with the mallet.

"Are you insane?!" one of the kids shouts.

"Certifiably!" he shouts back, watching as another monster-dog jumps at him. He waits for the perfect moment to back flip, bringing his feet under the dog to send it flying. He brings the mallet up as he lands, clocking another monster under the jaw. It yelps, crashing into another dog.

"Where'd this guy even come from?" the girl asks, turning to look at the boys with her.

"I don't know, but I'm happy to let him deal with the demodogs."

Oh. That's what they're called. Steve hums softly at the name, grinning as he twirls the mallet and swings with all his strength at one of the demodog. He rests the mallet on his shoulder like a baseball bat, watching the demodog arch in the air with an appreciative whistle. "Solid air," he says, nodding once before looking at the remaining demodogs.

There's only three, the others scattered in the clearing. He can't tell if they're dead or not, but he could always smash them to mush when he's done. Steve grins at the remaining dogs. "C'mon, then," he says, only to be filled with disappointment when they creep back, turn heel, and run.

"Damn, that's no fun," Steve says, sighing as he rests the mallet on the ground and leans on the handle. He looks at the kids. "You guys okay?"

The girl has orange hair pulled back into a messy braid. She's staring at him like he's got two heads but is kind of impressed by it. One of the boys has curly hair being smothered by his hat, and the other is wearing a basketball jersey. They're also staring at Steve like he's crazy. "Dude," the curly-haired one says, "that was awesome!"

"Where'd you get that mallet from?" the girl asks.

"Jester Logic," Steve explains, shrugging as he picks the mallet up and walks over. "Wanna hold it?"

When the girl lights up, he passes the mallet to her, snorting when she immediately staggers under its weight. "How do you hold this so easily?"

"Jester Logic. Again. It's funnier when other people find it heavy."

"That makes no sense," basketball jersey says.

"Who are you?" curly hair asks.

"Steve. Moved here recently. What about y'all?"

"Dustin," curly hair says.

"Lucas," basketball jersey says.

"Max," the girl says, her voice strained until Steve takes the mallet back, twirling it like it weighs nothing.

"Great. Nice to meet y'all. Now, what the fuck were those?"

"How much time you got?" Dustin asks.

Steve grins, thinking he's finally found something that can keep him entertained when he's not hanging around Eddie. "Plenty."

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Tag list (let me know if you'd like to be added!)

@nectandra, @y4r3luv, @just-a-tiny-void,

#steddie #steddie fic #harlequin prince #steve deserves good parents actually #steve harrington #harley quinn #bruce wayne #jim hopper #dustin henderson #lucas sinclair #max mayfield #dc comics crossover #wayne family adventures crossover #i kinda let the muse take over with this one actually #unhinged steve harrington #as he deserves #poison ivy #robins

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girlboypersonthingy · 1 year

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could I request a very fluffy keith x reader headcanons where they're having a bonding moment (hehe, I cradled you into my arms) because they ended up on a planet during a mission and are waiting for rescue? you don't have to do this if you don't like it of course!

HELLO YOU ARE MY FIRST REQUEST ANON AND ILYSM 🥰 yes I love love love this idea. Also, i had a hard time writing this as headcanons so I decided to write it as like a headcanon/imagine hybrid kinda thing. I hope that’s cool… sorry I’m new to writing this stuff. ALSO this turned out so long I got carried away soRRYYY. Enjoy~

Ps: plz plz plz request more. Somebody, anybody? Thnx 💋

So…y’all are stuck on a planet where the atmosphere is mostly made up of sulfur so it’s not breathable for humans like you

Keith would be pacing non stop, trying to get in contact with the team. He’s so mad his face is nearly as red as his armor.

You are much less worried, knowing that brainiac Pidge would find y’all eventually

It was supposed to be an easy mission, just responding to a distress signal. You and Keith were sent together bc you two work really well together, but when the galra swooped in, you knew it was a setup to steal the red lion.

Of course, Keith took them all out but not without red taking a couple heavy blows

Red needed to rest now that the imminent threat had been neutralized. The lion fought hard without help from the others and would not respond to either of you…and Keith was not handling it well

“C’mon red! You’re gonna give up on me now?! Ugh, you really are the most temperamental lion! You’re such a brat…”

The tense but strong chemistry between Keith and his lion was always something that intrigued you. They really were meant to be.

He eventually gives up trying to talk to red, sitting beside you on the ground.

You and Keith weren’t really close but you trained together nearly every day and you physically complimented each other very well. You always had each others back.

Besides training, you didn’t see him all that much. He likes to skip meals and take late night showers. It’s almost like he’s been avoiding you for a while now

With you around, Keith is all bite and no bark. Sure, he’ll grab and push you around while training but actually having a conversation with you??? Hell nah. Keith no likey talking.

He usually corrects the others’ form and posture and gives advice when training with the them, but not with you. Instead he gives you a lot of thumbs up and small, proud smirks.

Whenever you try to talk to him, you’re lucky if you get any words out of him. Usually, it’s just hums of agreement or head nods.

You think Keith doesn’t like you or finds you annoying with how quiet he is around you

Not having the same armor as the paladins, you were finding your suit to be too thin for the climate on this planet. You were shivering.

Keith notices this immediately but stays still, unsure of how to help you. If he had his jacket rn, he’d totally toss it at you nonchalantly

And suddenly he’s grabbing your hand and pulling you off the ground and along with him.

“Where are we going?” He doesn’t respond, just let’s your hand go but keeps walking, expecting you to follow and you do.

He glances back to check that you’re still there and notices you limping ever so slightly. You’re trying not to let him see this bc you don’t want to piss him off more than he already is.

With Keith piloting, there was no where for you to be in his lion besides standing behind his chair. As he dodged attacks from the galra, you had been thrown around a bit.

He stops walking, making you nearly crash into the back of him.

He turns to you, refusing to even look at you before he sighs loudly. You feel guilty, not wanting to burden him with taking care of you.

“You’re hurt.” “No I’m fine.” “No, you’re limping.” “It’s fine, I can keep walking.”

He turns his back to you and just stands there, hands at his sides. You’re unsure of what to do or say until he looks back at you with a straight face.

“Hop on my back.” “No, Keith. I can walk.” “Just let me carry you.” “No. I said I’m fine. Really, I-“ He cuts you off.

“God dammit, (Y/N), you’re just as stubborn as red! You’re limping and you’re shivering and you’re lying to my face about it. I can tell you need some help, IM OFFERING YOU HELP. Now let me give you a lift to some shelter or SO HELP ME-“

You’re stunned, not because he was lowkey being an ass but because he’s never said so many words to you at one time.

Keith is the epitome of “if a boy is being mean or bullying you, it’s bc he likes you”

He’s talking to you like he was when he first found the red lion and was like “it’s me…Keith. I AM YOUR P A L A D I N.”

Mf is lowkey so mean to you sometimes but he’s not trying to be mean, you just make him feel weird and tingly inside and it embarrasses him and that makes him mad. He’s mad that he doesn’t know how to properly communicate with you without sounding stupid. He’s mad at himself, not at you tho

Dude just doesn’t know how to deal with his feelings

You hop up on his back, quickly wrapping your arms around his neck and your legs around his waist. His hands grip the back of your knees and he trudges forward.

He carries you until he finds a small dim cave, hoping the shelter would keep you warm. He lets go of your legs without warning, making you slip off him. As you land on your feet, you hiss at the pain in your knee.

As he turns to you, you can barely see him but his face looks different now.

You can see his eyes are wide and his mouth is slightly hanging open

He never looks you in the eye and always has an annoyed and smug look on his face when you’re around. So seeing his face soften with concern and guilt for YOU made you freeze up.

“S-sorry.” He mumbles before holding out his hand to you. You’re confused like ??? What is this? What do you want me to do with this?

If there were more light in here, you’d see his face turning red as he’s stepping closer to you until you’re side by side. He slips his arm around your waist and gently lowers you to the ground.

As your butt meets the ground, you stretch out your leg and rub your knee, huffing in pain. Now that he knew you were hurt, no reason to act like you weren’t.

He sat along side you, your bodies still up against each other. He moves his arm from your waist to your shoulders, pulling you close.

Keith never touched you unless you were training together or you were in danger and needed his help so this physical contact with him made your heart go AFTHNJDFH ❤️‍🔥

The piggy back ride and the helping you to the ground were normal for him but him holding you close like this…omfg

Keith is slowly shutting down from embarrassment and nervousness. You can hear his breathing speed up as he’s praying that the others will find y’all soon or he might pass out

You lean into him, shivering still. His hand rubs up and down your arm in an attempt to warm you up.

Noticing that this isn’t working, he lets you go and scoots to sit behind you. He pulls you against his chest as he wraps his arms around you, your arms now pinned under his.

“Thanks.” You say to him before leaning back against him more, letting your head fall back on his shoulder.

Just as you’re getting comfy…

“Keith? Come in, Keith? Hello?”

You can faintly hear Shiro’s voice over the comms in Keith’s helmet. You tilt your head back more to look up at Keith’s face, he looks relieved but slightly disappointed…as if he didn’t want this moment to end so soon.

As he responds, he keeps his arms around you tightly, his hands gently rubbing your upper arms and you just cant look away from him now.

He held you against him for what felt like hours but it was really only like 10 minutes until Lance pokes his head in the cave, a loud “AAWWWW” coming from him.

Keith tilted his head back and let out a loud groan. Of all people to come save y’all…LANCE???

“They’re cold.” “Oh suuurrre.” “THEY ARE! Tell him, (Y/N).” “Yeah, I’m freezing.”

Lance flashes you both a snarky grin before Keith stands, pulling you up slowly.

“Then if it’s no big deal, I can carry (Y/N) back.” “No!” Keith responds quickly before he picks you up bridal style.

You’re surprised he can handle your weight in this position. Sure he was strong but piggy back would’ve been an easier option.

But you weren’t complaining…and neither was he ❤️‍🔥 (and Lance is lowkey like 🥹 as he follows behind you guys)

#voltron #voltron x reader #voltron x you #voltron legendary defender #vld #keith vld #keith kogane #keith voltron #keith x reader #vld fandom #vld keith #keith kogane x reader

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cheegu3 · 10 months

Text

Enhypen - the glory (PT.3)

summary; after rejecting one of the most popular boys at your new school, you soon realised that you'd done the gravest mistake of your life; these weren't ordinary boys, and now they were set on making your life a living hell - heavily based on the kdrama with the same name

warnings; yandere themes, slut-shaming, name calling, mentions of dissecting animals, torture, bullying, burn wounds

genre; yandere

wc; 6k

pairing; enha x f.m reader

note; I know the poll wanted soobin & yeonjun's character backstory but I changed it last minute bc I didn't realise how much planning and build-up writing a series needs to have ;-; anyways, plz be patient there are a lot of members and a lot of stories to be covered !!

masterlist

‘’ Are you serious? ‘’

Your eyes widened the longer you stared at the boy from school in front of you, slowly coming to the realization that he was looking at you completely humorlessly. The fact that he had known you for only a day and now suddenly wanted to put himself in danger for you seemed fishy, making alarm bells ring inside your head.

Did he somehow know them and was scheming with them behind your back? It was possible, seeing as Soobin was also from a rich family; and if you remembered correctly, the others didn’t live far from his house.

Soobin however, looked at you innocently, a look of confusion on his face as if he had no idea why you’d feel weirded out or even be the slightest suspicious of his irrational suggestions.

‘’ I don’t…think that’s a good idea. ‘’ you finally said.

Yeonjun nodded.

‘’ That’s what I said. ‘’ he added.

‘’ But why? ‘’

‘’ I barely know you, why would I want you to get involved in this? Besides, even if you wanted to, there’s no way I could win against them. They have nothing of importance to lose.’’

Silence followed your words. You were sure Soobin hadn’t really thought that far, you got the feeling that he could be someone who acted on impulses and feelings - immediately wanting to jump into situations without thinking twice.

But you were different from that. That’s why you were determined to put down your foot and stand your ground regarding anything that revolved around your life and the decisions to be made in it.

‘’ But…’’ Soobin started.

You caught the way his eyes traveled down to your sleeves, hiding the ugly scars underneath. It made you flinch and hide them behind your back by instinct.

‘’ I’ll sleep on it. ‘’ you finalized sternly, making Soobin look like a kicked puppy, and knowing very well you’d already made up your mind.

Before he could stop you or try to persuade you, you were already halfway out the door.

‘’ See you at school. ‘’

Soobin didn’t answer, and you didn’t stop in your tracks to wait for it either. Rainfall greeted you when you opened the door, becoming the new obstacle in your path. Sighing you looked back for a moment, contemplating if you should ask him for an umbrella.

‘’ Here. ‘’

The tall figure that had crept up behind the door startled you. It was Yeonjun, who handed you a crumbled-up black umbrella before turning on his heel again. His expression was unchanged despite you taking a few steps back in shock, the usual poker face adorning his face.

‘’ Thank you! ‘’ you shouted after him.

He came to a halt and turned around slowly, looking like he had something on his mind but wasn’t quite sure yet if he wanted to say it.

‘’ Can I help you? ‘’

His gaze fixated on the umbrella that you were starting to unwrap. You were both immersed in a long and uncomfortable silence before you finally turned around with a frown on your face, getting ready to leave since he hadn’t spoken up.

‘’ Don’t mind him. ‘’

You looked over your shoulder. ‘’ What? ‘’

‘’ He’s always been like that. ‘’

‘’ Like what? ‘’

‘’ Too eager to be somebody’s hero. ‘’ the corners of his mouth turned upwards, but the half-smile didn’t reach his eyes. It had a bitter feeling to it.

‘’ Why’s that? ‘’

He let himself fully smile when he heard your tone sounded a lot softer than the one you had used in Yeonjun’s room.

‘’ He couldn’t…save me. I guess that’s why. ‘’

You were about to keep pushing but had a feeling that he didn’t want to continue talking. He raised his eyebrows and nodded, clearing his throat awkwardly.

You got the message and started walking towards the door. ‘’ Well, uh- thanks. ‘’ you hold the umbrella up in the air and press the door-handle down.

The last thing you hear before closing the door is, ‘’ You should stay away from him. I don’t want my brother to get hurt. ‘’

You’re stunned and don’t have time to turn around and question him, a second too early the door locked with a click.

You shrugged and stepped out, smiling at the calming sound of the heavy raindrops pattering against the fabric of the umbrella above. You’d always loved it, the feeling reminded you of getting soothing rubs on your back from a loving mother.

The wide and tall black gate stood halfway open when you approached it. Muffled voices came from the other side. Cautiously you pressed through the small crack and grimaced at the sound of the gate creating a horrendous screech. Although it was barely audible over the sound of the rain, the voices died down immediately.

‘’ Who’s there? ‘’ a gruff voice barked out.

‘’ Sorry, just- ‘’ you stepped out fully and turned your head to the left where two men were standing.

They were both in suits and had two men holding umbrellas over their own heads, immediately letting you know they were upperclassmen.

‘’ I’m a friend of Soobin’s. ‘’

‘’ That would be my son. ‘’ one of them said, the taller and older male.

He took a few steps towards you and extended a hand. You hesitantly took it but shook it politely, smiling when seeing some resemblance to Soobin.

‘’ A girlfriend? ‘’ the other one teased.

You craned your neck to look at him. He was very handsome with sharp features, piercing eyes, and a prominent jawline. The smirk he was wearing on his familiar looking face reminded you of someone a little too much.

Before you could ask him his name or shake his hand, the car door of the car right next to where he was standing suddenly popped open. Out came a younger man who was an almost complete copy of the man in the suit. When he turned his head and you recognized him the smirk made a lot of sense, of course - it was Jay.

Staring you down confidently while standing next to his dad who smiled fondly at him.

‘’ Have you met my son yet, Mr. Choi? ‘’

What a nightmare.

‘’ I have not, Mr. Park. ‘’

Not only did Soobin’s dad know Jay’s dad, but they seemed to be close and Jay of all places, had to be here witnessing you leaving another man’s house.

Worrying about how they’d punish you tomorrow however, was the last thing you were thinking about as you slowly came to the realization that this only made you more suspicious of Soobin. If their dads worked together or at the very least were pretty close, couldn’t that mean that there’s a possibility their kids had known each other way before Soobin transferred?

Although nothing was confirmed yet, your head started to spin with a handful of theories you couldn’t quite comprehend just yet. But with everyone’s eyes on you, and especially the hawk-like ones of Jay; you had to be careful and not draw attention to yourself.

You regained your composure just in time for Jay to step in front of Soobin’s dad. They shook hands and exchanged some small talk, all the while you could almost sense how badly your bully wanted to let his eyes settle on you instead.

‘’ I think I have to go now, my dad is waiting for me. It was nice meeting you all. ‘’ you quickly blurted out, as the thought of that made you paranoid that if he were to take one look at your face, he could read you.

Which in fairness, he probably could. He like the others, was obsessed with you after all.

‘’ Wait! ‘’

You bit the inside of your cheek and have to take a deep breath before turning around, that fake smile plastered on your face again.

Jay walked over, his hand slipping into yours so comfortably that to the two men watching, you might as well have been a couple. They can’t sense the apparent tension between you two though, as you stared at him to explain himself while trying to free your hand at the same time.

‘’ It’s friday so Jungwon’s having a party. Let’s go. ‘’

‘’ No, I don’t think…’’ you trailed off, looking anywhere but on him now as you feel the pressure to be polite and say yes due to his dad being present.

‘’ Have fun! ‘’ his dad said, smirking at the two of you as if he was just teasing his son about his girlfriend.

You don’t seem to get a choice. After saying that he turned to Soobin’s dad again and they engage in a conversation. Jay took the opportunity and dragged you towards the car, purposefully putting you on the side closest to his dad in case you’d try anything.

He entered on the other side and made you feel humiliated by trying to put on your seatbelt for you.

‘’ I can do it myself. ‘’ you snapped.

He shrugged, unbothered by your attitude.

You tried to look out of the window once the car started, but the houses you keep passing by almost immediately made you feel horrible. They’re not just rich, but grand houses, stretching further than your eyes could follow before you passed it.

It left a bitter feeling in the mouth. They had all previously made fun of you for not having as much money as them. You often felt embarrassed of your dad; the fact that he was so unorganized, messy and a mere officer worker. When they had teased about coming over to see how you lived, you had always narrowingly escaped it, but you suspected they knew it wouldn’t be anything fancy.

It was always filled with dumped boxed all over the small space and you had one bedroom which you slept in while your dad slept on the couch. Although you weren’t the poorest at your school it still stung to be reminded that you’d never be on their level, not in a world that valued money anyway.

‘’ We’re here. ‘’

You looked up and almost groaned audibly upon seeing the car having come to a stop outside a house. Clearly you were starting to feel a little tired, seeing as you had zoned out the whole ride and not even noticed the arrival.

Jay tried to hurry to your side again but you quickly kicked the door open before he even reached it. He shook his head, a teasing smile appearing on his face before taking you by the hand again.

‘’ Why are you holding my hand? People are gonna think we’re a couple. ‘’

‘’ I wish we were. ‘’ he smirked.

You rolled your eyes but let him lead you inside anyway. This, like the other houses on the way was huge and easily looked like it could be one of the most expensive houses in Korea. It had several floors and you had a feeling it was too big, to the point where you’d get lost.

Surrounding it was a gate with fencing very similar to the one at Soobin’s house; tall, spikey and black. It gave it an eerie feeling, almost like a prison. Whoever would be unfortunate enough to end up locked in there couldn’t escape due to the several meters high fence, and if they did they’d likely be impaled or injured at the very least.

You spotted Jungwon approaching the gate. He had a red cup in one of his hands and a girl by his side. She unlocked the gate, her cat-eyes never leaving you while doing so, causing chills to run down your spine.

‘’ Why is it locked? ‘’ Jay asked his friend when greeting him with a hug.

Jungwon pulled away and they looked at each other for some time, something unspoken being said that you couldn’t quite decipher.

He then turned to you, but didn't smile, it was quite unusual for him to do so. In the rare instances when it happened, you were never the reason why. He actually seemed to get even gloomier any time you were around; lips thinning and eyebrows furrowing to match the angry scowl on his face.

‘’ You brought y/n. ‘’

‘’ Yeah. I thought you guys might like it. ‘’

He didn’t say anything.

‘’ This is my sister. ‘’

She reached out her hand so fast you almost jumped back, being unfamiliar with people touching you politely.

‘’ Yang Yena. ‘’ is all she said.

You had to bite back a grin. The resemblance was almost uncanny, and you now realized why you felt so unsettled under her gaze. She didn’t like smiling either and they had the same menacing, resting bitch face - maybe it ran in the family.

Jay and Jungwon looked at each other and then started heading towards the house, leaving Yena to walk alongside you due to the path’s narrowness.

‘’ Has he…told you about me? ‘’

You thought you saw the small outline of a smile but it was gone before you could fully register it.

‘’ A little. He’s always been a horrible person, I’m not surprised he’s found a girl to terrorize. ‘’

That caught you off guard. Immediately you thought to slow down your steps so to be absolutely sure you weren’t within the guys’ earshot.

‘’ You don’t like Jungwon? ‘’ you half-whispered, ‘’ He’s your brother!‘’

‘’ So? ‘’ she scoffed.

You couldn't really think of anything to respond due to still feeling stunned by the surprising confession. If anything, they were like twins so shouldn’t they be super close? You could almost picture them dissecting animals for fun in their spare-time.

‘’ He’s an ass, I feel bad for you actually. On behalf of him, I’m sorry. ‘’ her lips curved up slightly now into a half-smile.

‘’ It’s fine. ‘’

You awkwardly stumbled into the house when you reached it at last, trying not to look weird when you saw Jay and Jungwon were waiting by a pool table that was placed near the entrance. Yena left to go off somewhere with a couple of other girls and you inevitably arrived in front of them.

‘’ Let’s go. ‘’

The first room was a big living-room, a wide TV of likeness you could only dream of having and it had people surrounding it on several different couches. Quickly you scurried behind Jay to make them move faster and get out of their line of sight in case they would acknowledge you.

The next room was the kitchen, it had less people in it but you didn’t get a good look at their faces. The room had a side door which they lead you out of and then stopped in the garden.

Even in the dark, you could see the five heads turning to your direction and knew who it was before they called you over.

You mentally prepared before walking there, taking a deep shaky breath just before suddenly being pushed into Jake’s lap. He laughed and you could smell the alcohol on his breath. Hands started roaming your body like they always did when he was near you, as if you were just as intoxicating to Jake as the bottles he downed on weekends.

The others turned a blind-eye to what was happening. After chuckling they started talking about something that soon became background noise to you and the boy whose lap you were situated in.

He gave you a sleazy smile and delivered a few drunken kisses to your neck and jaw, all the while his other hand traveled higher and higher up your thigh.

‘’ Please, Jake. Stop. ‘’ you pleaded quietly.

He looked at you with his puppy-eyes, looking a bit sad. ‘’ Why? ‘’

You’re taken aback the second time in the same night. There was no way he was actually asking why, right?

‘’ Because…you bully me, with them. ‘’ you nodded your head to the others.

He thought for a moment. A hand appeared in your hair at the same time and started playing with it.

‘’ Do you know why we hurt you, sweetheart? ‘’

‘’ You’ve told me. ‘’

‘’ Say it. ‘’

‘’ You’re all in love with me. ‘’

‘’ So how do you stop the hurting? ‘’

You knew what Jake was hinting at and immediately your hands started to form into fists. He was completely oblivious to your anger at his ignorant tone and suggestions to something so sensitive.

‘’ I date you? ‘’

He nodded.

‘’ All…of you? ‘’

Something flashed behind his eyes and he looked a bit uncomfortable, the cocky smile plastered on his lips faded for a few seconds.

‘’ How would that even work anyway? ‘’

‘’ I don’t know, that’s for future us to figure out. ‘’ he solemnly responded.

You tried to get out of his lap again and this time he surprisingly didn’t try to stop you. Turning to Heeseung who was sitting next to Jake, you asked if you could go home.

‘’ You only just got here. ‘’

He was drunk as well, way more than Jake judging by his slurred speech, lack of focus and disinterest in you. You stood up and snuck away before any of them became too sober to notice. Jake watched you as you leave, but he didn’t say anything - much like the physical abuse at school, he just let it happen.

*******

You arrived a bit later than usual to school the next day. The idea to suddenly stay up and stick a bunch of post-it notes on your wall didn’t seem worth it when you were feeling it now.

After running into Jay and seeing the dads being connected, you decided that writing details down and being able to take a step back would’ve given you some clarification, or an eureka moment. But nothing came to mind as you’d finished putting it all up and stared at it as if the post-its would magically grow a mouth and tell you itself.

To be fair, you didn’t have a lot of information yet. The more you gathered, the more the wall would hopefully make sense. One thing you knew for certain though was that you’d be a bit more distant with Soobin, or rather on guard.

Ignoring him completely would be suspicious, asking him directly could go either way; if he’s innocent, he might try to persuade you why you can trust him, and well if he’s not, then he’ll tell the others and you’d be fucked. At the same time, you couldn’t be exactly as friendly and willing to get close to him as the day before. Because if he worked with them there’s a chance you’d accidentally give him information he could use against you.

Soobin and Yeonjun may not be helping you however the meeting the three of you had, convinced you that you could get revenge all on your own. How hard could it really be?

Everyone keeps everything important in their phones, that was the place to look. Problem was, you hadn’t come up with a plan on how to do it yet without getting caught and time was running out. It wouldn’t be long before they’d ask to see you today and you weren’t the best liar, they’d probably easily sniff out that you were doing something suspicious.

A knock on your desk made you raise your head.

‘’ Slept well, babe? ‘’

You met eyes with the owner of the voice, it was Jay who was leaning over your desk like he owned it.

‘’ What do you want? ‘’

You saw the look on his face change, and even heard the awkward and shocked laughs of the rest of them behind him. It slipped out before you could even stop yourself. Them treating you differently yesterday must’ve made you get overly confident, daring to say whatever since you didn’t think they’d actually do something.

Looking at his jaw clenching, you could tell you definitely shouldn’t have done that.

You didn’t get to say anything before you were dragged up on your feet and once again being forced to walk with them in the halls. The teacher walked by just as you exited, carrying a pile of books.

Your eyes lit up in hope. ‘’ Mrs. Kim! ‘’

But it quickly went out as your cry for help was ignored. She went inside the classroom, taking one last look back with a face of disapproval to Ni-ki who was closest before slamming the door shut.

Your legs almost gave in when they forced you to keep going again, the one last hope being taken out so quickly felt depressing.

‘’ Do you not have legs? Move. ‘’ Sunghoon shouted.

You picked up your feet, following their speed that seemed to have some urgency to it. They didn’t bother dragging out the walk to the gym like they usually did; which usually occurred because after the first few times they realised that it made you get more terrified if they taunted you by walking excruciatingly slow.

When you reached your destination, they didn’t care to put on a show of passing the key to the ones in the front either. Jake pushed through and unlocked it, pushing it open unbotheredly.

You were taken to the plinth that had almost become your designated seat in this premise. Not fighting back meant they didn’t have to use much strength to get you up on it and after doing so, the two usual guys who held you down didn’t come to either sides of you - somehow making it feel a lot more threatening when you had to face all of them.

It was as if they were confident, almost certain that if you would try to make a run for it, they would catch you in no time.

‘’ Someone was being a little slut yesterday, huh? ‘’

Your mouth hung open at the unexpected attack. ‘’ What? ‘’

‘’ Soobin? ‘’ you scoffed and rolled your eyes.

Of course they’d be jealous over such a small thing. Even if Soobin was helping you, the seven of them would’ve been so blinded by jealousy and posessiveness that they would’ve missed something that was right in front of them.

‘’ Jay saw you leave his house. ‘’

‘’ We didn’t do anything. ‘’ you sceamed, feeling panic flare up when you saw what looked like the curling iron in the corner of your eye.

Jungwon ticked his tongue in annoyance, giving you a look to shut you up.

‘’ You barely want to kiss us but you’re happy to spread your legs for the newcomer on the first day? ‘’ Jake muttered, looking the angriest you’d ever seen him before.

You clenched your teeth, biting down any insults you wanted to throw at them. They were clearly just adding more fuel to the fire, knowing how hard it was for you to stay quiet. But then, they also did look genuinely angry and jealous so you’d get punished even if you didn’t say a word back.

‘’ Do you have proof? ‘’

‘’ Proof? ‘’ Ni-ki sneered, sounding like he couldn’t believe his ears. ‘’ Did you expect us to creep or something? ‘’

‘’ She’d probably like that kind of stuff. ‘’ Heeseung joked, earning a few chuckles from the others.

When you glared at him he smirked and winked at you.

‘’ What other reason could you have for going to his house? ‘’ Jungwon said, not the slightest amused by the others joking around.

He looked serious and observed you while waiting for the answer.

‘’ Studying? ‘’

‘’ On the first day of meeting him? ‘’

You closed your mouth, realising they had a point. Whatever fake story you’d come up with, it didn’t sound convincing at all.

‘’ Yeah…he wanted to hang out and stuff, we clicked really well. ‘’ your attempt to shrug it off and try to lie casually made Jay snicker.

He stepped closer and you avoided his accusative look.

‘’ Why did you look so flustered when you saw me then? ‘’

‘’ I- just didn’t expect to see you there. ‘’

He hummed.

‘’ Your cheeks weren’t red from something else? ‘’

‘’ Jay! ‘’

You stared at him, looking very offended and feeling embarrassed as just as he mentioned; your cheeks heated up in this moment too.

‘’ Ah, Jay. You’ve made our princess flustered. ‘’ Heeseung fake-pouted.

Jake stepped forward next, in between your two dangling legs. Leaning into your ear, he whispered. ‘’ You know it’s coming, so if you kiss me without fighting back, they’ll be a bit more lenient on you. ‘’

You sighed and hesitantly nodded, feeling happy it wasn’t Sunghoon or Heeseung at least. His breath ghosted over your neck as he leaned in and you mentally prepared for the kiss.

Without warning he suddenly dived straight for your lips. He seemed very eager, like he’d been holding himself back from passionately kissing you or touching you like this for a very long time.

You let him take the lead, but his aggressiveness quickly made you out of breath. Your hand that was resting on his shoulder clenched around the fabric of his jacket.

He felt it and pulled away, a sly smile on his face but looking quite unapologetic. Moving to join the rest of the group, he left space for Ni-ki to step forward.

You blinked in confusion. ‘’ Ni-ki? ‘’

He had never hurt you before. Although they tried and had made Sunoo do it twice, counting the one that left you with permanent burn marks; Ni-ki never seemed to have an interest in it.

Like Heeseung, he mostly hung around the basketball hoop but never kissed you like the older male occasionally did either. You often times wondered if he was just there out of loyalty to his friends, and not because he shared the same feelings for you.

The youngest didn’t say anything but he looked slightly amused at your reaction. You hadn’t even been this close to him before, he was even more terrifying up close with him towering over you despite you sitting on the plinth.

Jungwon gave him something, a cylinder of some sort. You weren’t sure what it was since it was impossible to read the label. Whatever it was caused Sunghoon to laugh expectantly behind him. His dilated pupils grew even larger in size with sadistic excitement.

Ni-ki twisted the top of the cylinder, and just then Jake and Jay came to either sides of you like they were used to doing. That made you get very nervous, so you attempted to lift your hips to squirm out of their grasp. It had no effect whatsoever except for making you skirt ride up; which was quickly pulled down by the perverted hands of Jake.

‘’ What is that? ‘’ you said, breathlessly.

He answered by suddenly grabbing your wrist and pouring the contents on it. A burning sensation immediately washed over your body, making you scream out in agony.

It felt like it was never stopping. You didn’t even notice when Ni-ki pulled away, because it kept feeling like the skin was still on fire. Slowly your hiccuped, panicked breaths slowed down.

The tears on your face were wiped away by someone, you weren’t sure who; the shock from the pain had worn you out completely, so now your body had slumped against Jay who was holding you up.

Even so, you managed to see through your bleary vision that Sunoo approached next. Immediately the fighting spirit came back to your body and Jake seemed to know by your widened eyes that you would try to thrash around again.

‘’ It’s just water. ‘’ he assured you.

Sunoo could barely look at you. His face was twisted like he himself was in pain, or like he felt disgusted by the wound - he barely looked at it either, quickly dumping a towel into a bucket of water and holding it over your burns while only glancing at you occasionally.

You grit your teeth at the sensation, holding in the urge to groan. It didn’t burn like before, but still stung very unpleasantly.

Sunoo lifted the towel and checked, retreating when he had quickly scanned it and decided it was good enough. The salt probably wasn’t all removed though and you felt bitter thinking about how it would continue to hurt, serving as a reminder of this meeting.

‘’ Let’s go back now. ‘’ Sunghoon said.

The hands around you let go. Jake and Jay jumped down and joined the rest, who turned their back on you. It made you feel even more miserable. They didn’t even look back to see if you had moved from your spot. Maybe they’d even try to kill you one day and do the same, continue walking without caring about your well-being enough to look back and check.

You sighed and raised your head, almost jumping when you were face to face with someone who had stayed behind. ‘’ Sunoo? ‘’

‘’ Sorry- I just felt bad. ‘’

He extended a hand, silently pleading for you to take it and relaxing when you let him help you down. He was very gentle, careful not to touch your wounds which you appreciated.

‘’ I think you can ask the school nurse for pain relief. ‘’

You hummed. ‘’ Maybe. ‘’

He tried to put his arm around your shoulder to support you walking but you shrugged him off. ‘’ I can walk on my own, thanks. ‘’

Your tone seemed to have hurt his feelings, he stared at the ground like he just got slapped.

‘’ I’m not like them, I promise…’’ he silently murmured, so quiet it was almost inaudible.

‘’ What? ‘’

‘’ Me and Ni-ki don’t like hurting you. ‘’

You scoffed. Was he trying to make you feel bad for him? As if he wasn’t their friend by choice and enjoyed kissing you even when you didn’t want to.

‘’ So you’re a fucking pushover. ‘’ you spat out sourly.

‘’ No! Not like that. ‘’ Sunoo cried out, ‘’ It’s a lot more complicated. ‘’

‘’ Then help me understand. ‘’

You two started to walk but you can sense that he kept glancing in front to see if the rest of them would turn back, or were listening in on your conversation.

‘’ I don’t think they would like it very much if I told you. ‘’

‘’ Why? ‘’

‘’ I…don’t know. They don’t think I can be trusted to handle you. ‘’

You watched him for a few seconds in silence, a smile tugged at your lips as a thought popped into your mind - maybe Sunoo was the key in.

‘’ That’s not very nice. ‘’ you started, softening your tone to sound more compassionate.

‘’ I think your heart is just a bit bigger than theirs. Not everyone acts on logic, not everyone can be the same. ‘’

He smiled slightly, but didn't look too convinced. You had exited the gym hall now and a sense of urgency hit you as you were starting to walk down the hall.

‘’ I’m the same. Maybe…you and I are just a bit different. ‘’ you rounded the first corner. ‘’ But there’s nothing wrong with that. ‘’

You looked to him for confirmation and smiled when you saw that he didn’t look as tense anymore. He seemed to be taking in what you were saying and processing it quietly.

‘’ How did you meet them? ‘’

Sunoo hesitated.

‘’ Me and Ni-ki met at an orphanage. He was adopted by a Korean couple in Japan after his parents died, but they got into a car-accident almost immediately upon returning. So he went back, to the orphanage. ‘’

You shoved down the real sympathy you felt now, reminding yourself of their true character by glancing down at your arms.

‘’ And what happened next? ‘’

Your unexpectedly sweet voice took him by surprise, his cheeks heated up and he almost rambled the next information.

‘’ Well, when we turned eighteen the orphanage weren’t responsible for us anymore. We became homeless but promised to stick together. ‘’

He grimaced. ‘’ We had no choice but to do some street-fighting for money. ‘’

Your eyes widened.

‘’ That’s illegal. ‘’

‘’ I know. ‘’ he sighed, sounding ashamed.

You rounded the second corner together, voices echoing down the abandoned hall.

‘’ Ni-ki trained so he did the fighting while I dealt with the money. We met at one of the fights, he was there with his dad who likes to gamble. Ever since, they’ve let us stay at their houses and taken really good care of us. They’re like the family we never had, I guess. ‘’ he shrugged.

You took in what he said, eyebrows furrowing.

‘’ Who- ‘’

You rounded the third corner.

Sunoo suddenly gasped and came to a halt, his shoes screeching. You looked up and almost felt the blood in your veins freeze. It was Sunghoon. Leaning against the wall with his arms and looking relaxed like he had expected you two. His stoic face changed into a smirk upon seeing your reactions that very much screamed,

‘ we’re guilty ‘

Quickly the boy beside you scrambled to join his elder’s side. The million apologies and excuses that spilled out of his mouth go ignored.

‘’ What were you guys talking about? ‘’

You relaxed a bit. It seemed like he hadn’t heard enough to draw a conclusion, unless of course he was only pretending.

‘’ Nothing really. ‘’

He nodded his head sarcastically. ‘’ Oh, right. ‘’

‘’ I just told her me and Ni-ki lived at an orphanage. ‘’

Sunghoon finally trained his eyes on the stressed Sunoo beside him, eyes narrowing at his words. ‘’ Why would you do that? ‘’

‘’ I just felt bad and- ‘’

‘’ We have an agreement. ‘’ he interrupted. ‘’ Do you think the others will be happy with you? ‘’

‘’ No. ‘’ Sunoo’s head fell.

‘’ Let’s go. ‘’

Sungoon cast one last annoyed look at you before wrapping his arm around Sunoo’s shoulder protectively, leading him towards the classroom.

You followed some time after and entered quietly. A hand tapped at your desk and you had almost forgotten about Soobin until you turned over and saw his worried face.

‘’ Where were you? ‘’

‘’ Where was I? Where were you? ‘’ you hit back, suddenly feeling unexplainably angry at seeing him.

If he was in the classroom when class started, he might’ve been able to stop you from being dragged away. You couldn’t help but direct your anger and frustration from what you had just gone through to the poor newcomer.

He blinked at you. ‘’ I woke up late. ‘’

His eyes traveled down to your sleeves again, which you had pulled down just before reaching the classroom. He was quiet as he chewed on his lips, seemingly trying to analyze your sudden behavior. Then he glanced at your bullies, who stared right back at him, looking very smug.

‘’ Did they hurt you? ‘’

‘’ Please…’’ you sighed in annoyance, exhaustion overtaking you so you return to laying your head down on the cold bench. ‘’ Leave me alone. ‘’

You were sure it hurt his heart to hear that but you couldn’t care in that moment. All you wanted to do was lay there on the bench; until the voices of others faded as they all left. Maybe one could lay there for all eternity, forever only listening to the world through the vibrations of the wood. Your head turned away from Soobin just as the first hot tears streamed down your face.

You were thinking of going to the rooftop again.

#yandere kpop #kpop yandere #kpopidol #yandere enha #yandere enhypen #enha the glory #enha x reader

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sprite-writes · 5 months

Text

failed romantics

Leonard "Bones" McCoy/Reader (original female character)

Summary: Secrets can’t be kept forever, and what better time to reveal them than the Enterprise night shift.

Word Count: 5,902

A/N: yay another chapter!! I have been so excited to write this one since I started this series, I hope you all like it. As always very special thanks to @lightning-writes without them these chapters would literally never get finished LOL immediately after finishing this plz go check out their bucky series; good heart (faulty machine of a man) it kills me in the best way. anyways, thank you for reading plz like + comment if you enjoyed :)

Leonard can only barely make out Kirk’s face under the dim bulb, but he is pissed enough that Jim’s mug is the last thing he wants to see. The music is loud, so goddamn loud , loud enough that the whiskey did nothing for his headache.

“This is not what I had in mind when you said you knew a place,” he yells over the music, staring down the side of Kirk's face.

“What?” the captain calls back, still oblivious to Leonard's scowl. Kirk is absent, completely distracted by the crowd, more specifically the women . His gaze filters from person to person as they pass by the table, a dumb smile on his face the entire time. If steam could come out of Leonard’s ears, it would.

“I said this isn't what I had in mind for tonight.” He reaches across the table and firmly flicks his friend’s temple.

“Hey! What's your problem?” Kirk whines. Leonard is satisfied to have gotten his attention—finally.

“You said you knew a nice place– you said it was a bar!”

“Yeah and? This is both of those things!”

“This is a goddamned petri dish!”

It is. Leonard has refused to even allow his bare skin to touch the tabletop, weary of the unknown sticky substances covering it. There are so many bodies— human and otherwise— packed into the space, it's suffocating, and certainly a fire hazard. It's gross, downright unsanitary, and fucking loud.

“You’re dramatic, Bones, it's nice enough. Loosen up! Maybe try to meet somebody. We’re only in Yorktown for a day, y’know?”

Tipsy Kirk is a fucking idiot.

Leonard recoils at the idea. The captain has gained this…habit lately. This advice-giving habit where he tells Leonard to relax, to get out there, to get laid, and every time it passes through Kirk's lips, Leonard becomes nauseous. He abhors this subject, he really does. The only thing he hates talking about more than his dating life is why he doesn’t have one. Sure, he hasn't had much of one since the divorce anyway, but whatever he did have quickly reduced to nothing after meeting Sunshine. He feels so childish even mulling his thoughts over, and how it feels pointless to consider any other woman interesting since he has already met Sunshine, who is the most interesting. Interesting and pretty. Interesting and pretty and kind. He shakes his head before he starts down his mental list (again). Somedays, it feels like his feelings will swallow him whole. It has been so long since he felt it, the wanting . Wanting to talk to her all the time, or hold her hand, or just be around her. It all makes him feel so juvenile, like he’s a lovesick teenager. She makes him feel like a lovesick teenager. It is the single most frustrating thing he’d ever experienced.

“I don't wanna associate with anyone who willingly steps foot inside this shithole,” he snaps, “C’mon man, let's go.” Kirk protests, of course, even more so as Leonard grabs him by the ear and pulls him up from the chair. He tells himself he’s doing Kirk a favor, that the last thing he needs is a hookup— that he’s certainly not taking out his frustrations on his friend.

The pair weave through the bodies, with Kirk stumbling after his friend and out the door. The cool breeze hits them like a breath of fresh air, and Leonard takes it in. Kirk, on the other hand, furiously rubs his reddened ear.

“What the hell was that for? Are you out to get me tonight?”

Leonard feels a quick pang of sympathy, regretting lashing out.

“Look, I’m sorry, but that place had me sweating like a damn sinner in church, there’s other bars, and it's getting late anyways–”

Kirk would usually push it, and Leonard could tell he wants to, which makes him all the more thankful he doesn’t.

“Fine, fine, whatever but we are drinking when we get back to the ship,” he settles, leading the way home.

Yorktown is cold and downright industrial. Leonard hates it. He would usually be thankful for a pit stop if it means he can feel non-artificial gravity, but, between the dirty club and Kirk’s antagonizing, he’s ready to be spacebound again. Both the Enterprise and the USS Endeavor are in Yorktown for the night, in the process of a personnel transfer. The streets are crawling with Starfleet members.

They walk in silence for most of the way, observing the larger-than-life city and the star crafts buzzing overhead. Leonard would be lying if he said he doesn’t feel a bit empty. Perhaps the low-lit, music-blaring monstrosity would have felt more tolerable if a certain lieutenant was with him and not stuck with the enterprise night crew.

“You know, I wouldn’t have even known that place existed if it wasn’t for Sunny,” Kirk laughs. Leonard scrunches his nose.

“She recommended that barnyard?” he scoffs.

“Oh god no, she told me to stay away from it. Said it was the grimiest place on this side of the universe. I just thought it sounded like a good time, y’know?”

Leonard stares, really stares, and wonders why he keeps expecting better of Kirk.

“You’re an idiot, and an ass. The woman gives you stellar advice, and you ignore it, and stick her with the skeleton crew.”

Kirk stops so abruptly, that Leonard stumbles over him.

“ I didn’t put her on the skeleton crew, she requested to be. You think I would make her work more than she already does? I’m not a tyrant, Bones.”

What?

“What?” Leonard says out loud. “Why would she ask to be holed up on the enterprise all leave?”

“I mean, I would too if the alternative was running into my ex and all his coworkers.”

Kirk laughs, Leonard’s head spins.

“Her ex?”

“Yeah her— she didn’t tell you any of this?”

“She said she wanted Jameson to oversee the transfer, give him more experience or something, so you put her on his night shift.”

“No? She wanted Jameson to do it because she used to be engaged to the Endeavors head of security.”

Leonard blinks. And blinks again.

“Dude, I don’t even know how to change the schedule,” Kirk adds.

Suddenly, despite talking to her everyday for close to a year, she feels unfamiliar. Engaged? He can hardly imagine it, nor does he want to. Pictures of Sunshine flash through his mind, and he clenches his fist.

“Didn’t know she had been engaged,” he feigns a casual tone.

Kirk furrows his brows.

“ You didn’t know? You of all people?” Leonard shrugs, as his stomach forms a knot. “She tells you everything, and she’s never mentioned Ryder?”

“Christ, his name is Ryder ?”

“I know! Douchebag name, right?”

He doesn’t respond for a beat, which turns into several beats. The gears in his head turn and turn. Engaged . He doesn’t understand why the idea eats at him. He himself had been married for years. So what if she was engaged? There is no reason for him to be upset that his friend—a coworker–had an ex.

He feels nauseous.

Kirk clears his throat, derailing Leonard's train of thought.

“You’re right, it’s late, we should head back,” he says, offering a reassuring smile. Leonard follows him, hands in his pockets.

“Do y’know what happened?” he asks finally. Kirk casts him a sideways glance.

“What, between them? Not a clue,” Kirk says with sincerity enough for Leonard to believe it. “She wasn’t really keen on discussing it.” He pauses and looks at the ground as they walk. “I wouldn’t worry too much about it though, Bones, I think everyone sees she’s only really got eyes for one person these days.”

“Don't start, Jim,” Leonard warns hotly, clenching his jaw.

“Start what? I’m not starting anything. I’m just laying out the facts.” Jim hiccups. “She adores you, man, like adores -”

“Sunshine ‘adores’ everyone she meets. We’re friends—good friends, but that's all.” His patience shrinks as his annoyance grows.

Jim laughs mirthlessly.

“No, Sunshine and I are good friends. Whatever you two are is something else entirely-”

“Anyone ever tell you you don't know when to shut up?” His tone is as cold as the night air, and Jim shuts up.

Leonard wishes Kirk would drop the subject, trip over a rock, or whatever it took to never have this conversation again. Really—what he truly wants is for everyone to stop dangling this hope in front of his face like a carrot. He’s not an idiot, he knows he spends more time with the lieutenant than his colleagues, hears her laugh more often, and knows her habits better.

He knows what it looks like. He also knows that he's a bitter emotionally closed-off divorcee—

He tells Jim that Sunshine is his friend because she is—and he denies wanting anything more because It's stupid to want things out of his reach.

Frustration heats his cheeks and begins to bloom into a headache. He knows Kirk means well, but that fact does little to comfort him.

“Alright, I’ll drop it,” Kirk surrenders, his voice soft. “But there is one last thing you should know,” He pauses at the crosswalk and turns to Leonard. Eerily stoic, his mouth pressed into a thin line. Leonard's breath hitched.

“Ryder’s got nothing on you in terms of looks, okay? Seriously he's like, 5’7, and his face isn't at all symmetrical-”

Leonard revs up and smacks Kirk in the back of the head harder than he ever had and feels no regret. Not even after Kirk's high-pitched “ Ouch!”

“Would you quit it! You gossip like a damn schoolgirl!”

The sign blinks at them to walk, and Leonard drags Kirk across the street, fingers digging into his arm.

“Ow, ow, I was just saying-“

“Wait a minute,” Leonard lets his friend go and smooths down his sleeve. “How do you know what he looks like anyway?”

Kirk puts himself at a safe distance from the Doctor, cradling his arm. “Well, the operations manager would usually talk to the department heads during a transfer, but Sunshine passed him off to me. I said no at first, obviously, because I hate managing, but then she finally told me she was almost Mrs. Ryder Denver. So yeah, I spoke with him a few times, just business. Have to say though, I couldn't imagine them together. He comes off as a bit of a douche.”

Leonard breathes deeply, reigning in the emotions that he doesn’t need Kirk to pick up on. The idea of Sunshine being engaged does enough to unsettle him without knowing that the man in question “ came off as a douche” . He feels something boil under the surface.

“Yeah?” is all he can strangle out.

“Yeah—He’s like a classic douchey security buff,” Kirk continues, unaware of his friend's white knuckles. “You know the kind– uptight, condescending, has one earring and thinks it's edgy-”

“Wears their uniform a size too small? Yeah, I know the type.”

“Exactly, and Sunshine is so…so-”

“Heart-of-gold?”

“Yeah! Opposites attract I guess, but I don't know, something was off.”

To Leonard, the entire thing is off. All of it. Everything . He doesn’t understand why Sunshine decided he doesn’t get to know, why it is a secret in the first place, why she almost married a douche, why he cares so damn much .

The enterprise comes into view like the sun on the horizon, and Leonard is relieved .

“Your arm’s all right?” Leonard asks, an apology without apologizing. Jim knows this and breathes a laugh.

“Yup, the ear’s fine too.”

The Doctor nods, but his eyes remain trained in front of him. Through the glass window panes, he eyes the ship, eager to hide away in the familiar place. He would have opened the door for Kirk, as a gesture, but of course, the Yorktown Federation Port has to have automatic doors. He huffs, and the artificial lights illuminate his red cheeks. They approach their home in silent tandem, their shoes clinking against the hard floors.

“You should talk to her, Bones,” Kirk breaks the quiet, head down while he taps the access code to the enterprise hull. “Ask her why she didn't mention the ex. I’m sure she has a good reason, probably one you'll wanna hear.”

Leonard wants to be mean. He wants to shake Kirk's words off with an insult and go to bed. But he swallows his pride, and it goes down like nails.

“Yeah. Maybe.”

Hope. It bubbles up within his chest, and he pushes it down. Finally, the stark white enterprise interior greets him. He breathes a little easier.

Kirk stumbles over the first step— “ Woah ”-- and Leonard steadies him with a raised eyebrow. “Andorian ale finally catching up with you?”

“Pfft,” Kirk scoffs. “Couldn’t catch me if it tried.”

Leonard pauses, then laughs, the first genuine one all night, and it has Kirk grinning back.

The enterprise is empty, its residents still on the streets they just returned from. So, without restraint, they laugh, and Kirk stumbles, and Leonard forgets for a moment about the unsaid feelings under his skin.

Kirk is an idiot, and he’s a good friend.

He’s happy to banter about whatever comes out of Kirk's drunk mouth and to correct him when he takes a wrong turn in his own ship. Leonard claps his hand on his shoulder and drawls, “It’s this way, captain .”

“Uhh, no , Chekov keeps the good whiskey in his locker, this way,” Kirk insists with a point down the hallway, and Leonard is amazed at his eagerness to get blacked out the night before embarking.

“Are you out of your mind? No way. You can drink like a fish when you don't need to fly a starship in the morning.”

“What are you, my mom ?”

Christ.

“No, but I pity the poor woman,” he huffs and gestures down the hallway leading to his quarters. Kirk frowns and scrunches his nose.

“Raincheck, Kirk, c’mon.”

He begrudgingly obliges, having given his friend a hard enough time tonight anyway. The yawn that crawls out of his mouth a moment later corroborates Leonard's decision. He is tired, and Kirk shouldn't drink anymore, but he’d be lying if he said those were his only motives to end the night early.

“You win this one, Bones, but next time I swear we'll be out till sunrise,” he says between another yawn and a hiccup.

“Uh-huh. Try not to trip.” Leonard reminds himself of the virtue of patience and keeps walking.

Kirk manages to type in his room's access code all by himself, with only a moment of squinting, and a break to roll up the black sleeves of his turtleneck. Leonard is impressed, and the bar is low.

“Drink a bottle of water, and get some sleep, We’ll talk tomorrow.” he crosses his arms over his chest and waits for protest.

Kirk only hums. “You headed to your room?”

The doctor's fingers drum against the doorframe. “Was thinking I’d check in on Sunshine,” he says, blinks, and rushes out, “and the rest of the Skeleton crew, of course. Maybe medbay too, then I’ll hit the hay.” He fleetingly wonders if that sounds believable, or at least casual.

Kirk smiles a genuine smile. “Sounds like a good plan, Bones. See ya in the morning, and tell her I said hi .” Before he can react, his friend waves, and the door slides shut. Then, he’s alone in the hallways, and he has to put his money where his mouth is.

Shit .

The way to the bridge feels daunting now, like climbing Everest. Like climbing Everest with the shittiest rope ever. Like climbing Everest with the shittiest rope ever, several pounds of emotional baggage, and a Starfleet captain breathing down his neck. He considers just going to bed, pretending he never even mentioned the whole thing. Maybe even pretend he doesn't care to get answers. He can just leave it be.

The desire to see her trumps all of it.

The halls are deserted, which he’s thankful for. He doesn’t need anyone around to watch him squirm in the elevator. A deep breath, a punch of the open elevator button and—

“I told you I don't have any threes! Go fish, again .”

He sees the back of the captain's chair first, then Starfleet-issued black boots hanging off of it. The whoosh of the door draws the attention of the room to him. Eyes sweep through the vaguely familiar faces of the night crew, all six staring at him like they are waiting for an explanation, which he doesn’t really have. The heeled black boots plant themselves on the ground, the captain's seat swivels around. His heart works double time.

“ Leonard ? Hi! What are you doing here?”

Sunshine’s got a hand of cards between her pointer and her thumb, and a sweatshirt pulled over her uniform dress, and it distracts Leonard for longer than it should. He clears his throat, and it shakes loose the feelings stuck there.

“Just thought I'd check in on our hard working night crew, who is surely on task.” He descends the bridge steps.

“Well, then, you'll be happy to hear that I am, in fact, glancing at my station every 20 minutes, and I’m the undefeated go-fish champion.”

She waves the cards at herself like a fan, legs crossed and smile wide.

“Undefeated, huh? Glad to see your talents going to good use.” Her smile gets a bit brighter, and she does a quick breathy laugh with her nose. For a moment there's quiet, and Leonard begins scrambling for a way to ask her the thing he wants to ask her. The bridge is crowded, for a skeleton crew, he thinks. The redshirt to Sunshine’s left breaks the silence before he can.

“I’m not sure if I’d call it talent…I’m pretty sure she's cheating,” they grumble, and Sunshine doesn't spare a moment, whipping the chair around. He can almost see the panic fill her eyes, like she’s just been accused of a heinous crime.

“I’m not! Are you still thinking about that last round? Because that was—”

Even Leonard winces a bit at her shrill tone, and he’s pretty sure she just woke the navigator who had fallen asleep at his station, so he claps his hands on her shoulders.

“Sounds to me like this card game has you wound like a spring,” he interrupts her before her voice jostles anyone else awake.

She pouts, lip jutted out and everything.

“Let's go for a walk,” he suggests. He doesn’t even let his nerves talk him out of it. She looks at him curiously, her eyebrows drawn.

“I dunno, I probably shouldn’t leave…”

“I’m sure someone else can deal cards while you’re gone,” he tells her, already offering his arm.

The Ensign, Leonard still doesn’t know their name, waves her off. “Go, Lieutenant, It's fine. I’m sure we can handle a few minutes without you.”

She bites her lip and cautiously loops her arm around his, leaving the captain's chair to her subordinate.

“Alright, but don’t start a new game without me,” she warns lightly.

Leonard doesn’t get nervous with her arm looped around his, really he doesn’t. He’s headfirst into this thing now, no room for nerves.

She drinks her whiskey neat, he learns, and it surprises him. Surprises him even more when she downs it like a shot.

The walk there had been quiet mostly, except for when Sunshine regaled the stories of her card game wins.

“Did you have a nice time with Kirk?” she asks politely.

“I dunno if I’d say that, but maybe Jim would disagree.”

She laughs lightly, and her finger traces the lip of the whiskey glass. He doesn’t know if it’s the best idea, but he refills her cup.

There is a beat of silence, and the conversation with Kirk pushes to the front of his thoughts. There's a heaviness on the tip of his tongue, the desire to ask why . Without really knowing how to.

“Wish I could’ve gone with you guys,” she says, her gaze downcast. There's a rare melancholy to her tone, something vulnerable woven into it.

“You could’ve,” he tells her, and her eyes pull from the table.

“I had--”

“Yeah, I know what you– I just mean–I’m sure Kirk would have given you the night off if you asked… God knows he owes you enough favors.”

“I guess,” she shrugs, “it wasn’t really the best night for it, though.”

He could go along with her lame excuse, vaguely agreeing that, yeah, there will be other nights. But the ache to know what exactly goes on in her pretty head has words tumbling out of his mouth.

“Yeah, Kirk mentioned somethin’ like that,” he mumbles, nerves permeating the sentence.

“...what?”

Shit.

“I mean, he may have-”

“What exactly did he mention?” Her tone holds a sharp undercurrent of something rare for Sunshine– anger.

Leonard runs a hand down his face, suddenly thinking of all the much more tactful ways he could have begun this. The gentle buzz of alcohol still in his bloodstream keeps him from panicking.

“Nothing terrible, just that there was someone in town you wouldn’t wanna see.”

“As if ,” she scoffs. “Kirk’s never been that vague in his life.”

“…fair enough.”

She groans miserably, fitfully pulling the sleeves of her sweater over her hands and burying her face in the fabric.

“You were not supposed to find out like this,” she says, muffled.

“And how was I supposed to find out?” He asks quietly, like the question will frighten her away.

A sniffle comes from behind her hands–the sound tugs at his heart.

“ I don't know. Maybe someone could have told you when I’m dead and then we’d never have to have this conversation.”

He reaches for her slowly, taking her wrists in a gentle hold and pulling them away from her face, revealing her reddened nose and watery eyes. Her hands are cold, and grow stiff under his touch.

“Sunshine. It's an ex , not a damn intergalactic scandal. There are worse conversations to have,” he reasons.

“You don't get it,” she tells him matter-of-factly, pulling her hands from his touch. Embarrassment quickly heats his body, and he wipes his palms on his pants.

“I’d get it a lot more if you talked about it.” He flexes his jaw, frustration bleeding into his voice.

She narrows her eyes, punctuating her glare with a sniffle.

“If I wanted to talk about it, I would’ve.”

“With Kirk? Because he seems to get it.”

“Why are you acting so—”

“Concerned? Oh, I dunno because you’re my friend?” Exasperation colors his tone.

“I was gonna say entitled,” she grits out. Her anger comes out half-heartedly, sounding more like watery sadness than anything. “I don't tell you everything, and I don't have to. You’re not my-” She sighs. “Why does it matter? I was engaged for like, a year, and now, I’m not.”

You’re not my–

Her half sentence sticks in his mind and sends blood rushing to his head. He thinks of all the things that he is to her: a colleague, a doctor, a friend. All the things he isn’t feels like a gaping hole.

He watches her clench her fists and force her tears back.

“It matters because it upsets you enough to work the night shift,” he sighs, the anger he’s been holding seeps out of his hands like water. “I’m not pressing you for the latest gossip, Sunny. I’m asking because it would be lousy of me not to.”

She says nothing, taking in his words.

“I’m no stranger to this stuff, y’know,” he prods her gently. “My ex-wife sent me running all the way to space .” He says lightly, and the corners of her mouth twitch up briefly.

“He didn't send me running, I sent him,” she confesses, shaking her head.

“ You ?”

“Me. The thing is,” she shrugs, “it should have worked, y’know? Like on paper, it was perfect. Ryder and I were academy sweethearts, liked all the same shit, were top of our classes, blah, blah, blah.” She rolls her eyes. “Our friends used to tease us, say that it wasn't fair, and we were too in love.”

“Sounds nice.”

“It does, doesn’t it?” she says, sighing. Her eyes drift nowhere in particular. “It didn’t feel nice after a while though. It felt suffocating. I was half a person with him, we were Ryder and Sunshine–and that was one entity.” Her tears dry on her lashes, as she becomes entrenched in the memory.

“But the person we were wasn’t me . Because he never thought my jokes were funny, or my hobbies were interesting or my friends were cool, so I was willing to throw them all out. Eventually all that was left was him. His ideas, his wants, his needs. I was backed into a corner. I should’ve left when I realized but I loved him… and I was really scared of being alone.”

She pushes her hair behind her ears and lets out a shaky breath.

“I was a coward, and I couldn’t leave. I wanted to try and fix it, figure out who I was, and then maybe Ryder could love that person,” She shakes her head. “I was naive. Ryder always wanted someone I couldn’t be. Someone quieter or someone better at being a person. I’m always so all over the place you know? Too much for him.”

“You’re not–”

“It's okay, Len, you don't have to say anything.” she says, meeting his eyes again, taming the budding fire in his heart.

The idea of Sunshine being anything but completely herself unnerves him. Her jokes are funny, he can’t recall ever laughing as much before she boarded the enterprise. Her ramblings about xenobotany and classic earth songs never fail to catch his attention, even when he barely knows what she's talking about. Being around Sunshine is as easy as breathing, and he’s starting to need it as much too.

“Anyways, he proposed our senior year, like we weren’t a sinking ship, and I said yes and pretended like the ring wasn’t a last-ditch attempt to bring us back to life.”

Her teeth sink into her lip, her eyes dragging to her lap.

“I don't know what it was, but one night I just…broke. I couldn’t keep pretending to be someone I wasn’t, or beg to be loved.”

A few tears slide down her cheeks, she scrubs them away with her sleeve.

Leonard wants to tell her that she should never have to beg for anything in the first place, least of all love; he wants to tell her that she's worthy just the way she is. His fingers twitch with the desire to take her by the shoulders and tell her over and over that she’s perfect, that she couldn’t be too much if she tried. Sunshine has always had a magnetic pull to her, drawing in everyone she meets with her warmth. The idea of anyone taking that away from her pulls his heartstrings tight enough to snap. He holds back his anger, refraining from telling her that Ryder is an asshole who didn’t deserve a second of her time.

The wiser part of him knows that's not what he needs.

“We had planned to be on the USS Endeavor together, but I rescinded my application. I signed up to do on-planet research instead. I wrote a long letter, left it on our bed, packed up my things, and left.”

She coughs in a way that he knows is covering up a sob and takes a deep breath. The sound sends a pang of emotion through him.

“It’s the worst thing I’ve ever done. We were engaged, for Christ's sake, and I couldn’t even look him in the eye when I left him. And don’t even get me started on the fallout. We had all the same friends, and our families were so close… it was all so humiliating . Everyone expected us to live happily ever after, and then, there I was, giving him back his ring in a coffee shop.”

She knocks back the rest of her drink, like a consolation prize for getting all the words out.

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you, Len. I never wanted you to think of me like that, as someone who would do that.”

“ Sweetheart ,” he says like a plea, calling her attention. “No one in their right mind would think differently of you for leaving something that wasn’t good for you– or at least they shouldn’t.”

She's shaking her head before he finishes his sentence.

“But I–”

“I know. You didn’t go about it the way you maybe should’ve– or the way you wanted to. It doesn’t make you a bad person, it doesn’t make you any less… good.”

She hiccups, her chest rising and falling rapidly as another stream of tears drips down her cheeks. He can't help himself – and even if he could, he doesn’t want to – he brings both hands to her cheeks, wiping away the salty tears.

“It's alright,” he says gently, swiping his thumb under her eye again. “You’re alright.”

She nods, breaths finally evening out, and his hands reluctantly fall back onto his lap.

He remembers well the storm of feelings his divorce left him with. The gulit, the lonliness, feeling like the world was ending.

“I get it, y’know. The shitty relationship, becoming somebody you don't wanna be,” the barstool squeaks as he leans on the counter. He hasn't talked about his marriage since he told the story to Kirk years ago. It feels odd to tell it again.

“My ex and I met in college, fell head over heels, and I proposed a year later. I thought… well, we both thought we were soulmates. There was this connection between us that I’d never felt before, and I thought this must be it.”

“After a year ?” she gawks. He casts her a sideways glance and chuckles.

“A perfect year, mind you. Not a single disagreement, not a bad date– every day was straight out of a damn love story or something. Until we got hitched, that is. Then it was all disagreements.”

He anxiously taps a rhythm on the bar top. The memory still burns him now, of the fiery conflict, of the sleepless nights.

“We were the same in all the worst ways, stubborn, headstrong, prideful. We couldn't settle an argument to save our lives. It probably didn't help that I was in the middle of residency and pulling 100-hour weeks. It was miserable. I hardly recognized myself… I know I don’t have the best temper, but I never wanted to be an angry person.”

He lets out a slow breath, “I was mad as hell when she called it quits, said a lot of stuff I regret. But she was right to do it. We brought out the worst in each other, I was just too narrow-minded to see it. All this to say, I’m sure I would have taken the night shift to avoid her too.”

Sunshine rests a comforting hand on his shoulder, her thumb pressing circles into the muscle.

“I’m sorry, Len.”

He leans into her touch without thinking about it. “These things happen,” he tells her decidedly. “When something’s not right, there's nothing you can do to change that. You do the best you can with where you’re at, that's all.” He pictures himself, young and full of fire, holding onto something that had already slipped away. “Which you did, Sunshine. I know it’s hard to see now, but I promise it gets easier.”

When he drags his gaze from the mahogany bar top back to Sunshine, she's watching him curiously.

“What am I supposed to see?”

“That you were young, and scared, and you did what you needed to for yourself. Even if it's not shit you’re proud of, it makes you who you are. You learn, and it makes you better.”

She says nothing, silently considering his words for several moments. “Well, it better get easier soon, because it sucks .”

He chuckles, “That it does.”

She reaches right past him and grabs the half-empty bottle of whiskey.

“We should toast,” she says, the melancholy in her voice fading away, probably tucked back behind a wall. “To failed marriages.”

She’s already refilling their glasses and lifting hers to bump with his.

“Thought you ducked out on the whole wedding thing?” he teases.

“Fine then, to failed romantics,” she impatiently shakes the ice in her glass, “Just do it.”

He knocks his glass with hers and agrees, “To failed romantics, and night shifts, and all the other shitty stuff.”

Her face pinches as she finishes her drink. Gingerly, she takes both of their glasses and stacks them behind the bar.

Like ripping a bandage off and letting the wound breathe, Leonard feels lighter. As Sunshine hops off the bar stool and straightens her uniform skirt, he can see on her face that she does too.

“Thank you for the drink, and the talk, Len,” she says, and he waves her off.

“Don't mention it.”

“ Totally gonna mention it,” she grins, “and when the schedule suddenly gives you two days off in a row, you’ll know why.”

He laughs, and shakes his head, “I don’t think that's allowed, Lieutenant.”

“I have my ways,” she says innocently, as she saunters to the door.

He watches her go, everything she’s told him still buzzing in his head. He can hardly make sense of everything he’s feeling at once, but there's one thought that sticks out among the rest, that sits on his chest, demanding to be heard.

“Sunshine?” he calls before she’s gone, giving into his relentless mind.

“Yeah?”

When she turns around, he’s flooded with everything he’s ever wanted to tell her. How she has seeped into every part of his life since he met her, despite his once armored heart. How she doesn’t see it, but she's changed the entire atmosphere of the bridge, pouring life into it with her energy. How she's taught him how to be a better friend, a better man, even a better doctor. How she’s not too much, she's everything.

“You should know, you’re never too much, that's ridiculous. Anyone on this ship would agree in a heartbeat. Don’t know what I’d– what we’d do without you,” he rushes out. “I hope you never think you need to be anything other than who you are.”

She goes still in the door frame and observes him for a moment. He flounders in her silence, wondering if he should have just kept his mouth shut. She suddenly moves from the doorway, quickly striding towards him, the sound of her boots clacking on the floor. He has no time to react before she gently places her hand on his chest. She wastes no time, leaning down and pressing a warm kiss to his cheek.

“Thank you,” she says meaningfully, searching his eyes for a brief moment before she turns heel again. She’s out the door without him even mustering up a word to say.

His skin heats where her lips had touched him, a crackling feeling left in their place. He lifts his fingers to the skin, ghosting over the sticky remnants of her lipgloss.

He sits, dumbfounded, knowing he’s gone somewhere there's no coming back from.

#guys new chapter whaaattt #theyre so close to kissing I swear #leonard mccoy x reader #leonard mccoy x you #bones x reader #leonard bones mccoy #star trek imagine #star trek alternate original series #star trek #on a cloudy day #leonard mccoy #james t kirk #star trek aos #star trek fanfiction #karl urban #chris pine

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xhanelia · 7 months

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Healing Yoru's inner world.

You happen to know why Yoru act kind of rude and careless all the time. He is scared. Love him plz.

You and Yoru wasnt always like this.

It started off rather cold. Yoru was being Yoru. Insulting you here and there. Ofcourse he has to be the best and all. You know the deal.

But when his firends jokes around him, he gets all emberrased and rather angry. You knew that feeling. Trying to act tough and the others make fun of it? It was... sad.

The jokes that Jett and Phoenix did may have been a little funny but you holded it. Holding the laugh in and shooing the others out of his head.

"C'mon guys! We have work to do." Or "Brim is calling you Jett." Or "He is tired guys. Lets leave him alone."

They may have chatter about you when you were away. Calling you his calmer version copy-paste and all but Sage heard that and it didnt ended up well for them. (They swore that they wont talk bad on any other agent.)

Yoru noticed what you were doing and actually was thankful to you. Tho he will never admit that.

You get to talk with him outside of the fights. He was still closed up about showing any kind of himself but you knew it will take time for him to open up. You wanted to take him out of his self-made hell.

You guys first started to talk in the common room witch was quite the favorite place among the agents. So you whispered him that if he wants to talk more, you'll be in your room.

And after that, whenever Yoru wanted to talk to you, just wanted to pour his heart out, he would always be at your door. Knowing that you'll always welcome him without judging.

And to that part, judging, that is what made you both so close. Yoru was able to be himself without any worries because he knew you wouldnt judge or tease him for it. You knew it was hard for him to be vunreable around somebody. And he needed it. So you offered your arms.

It didnt have to be any talking when he came over. He just wanted a presence around him. Mostly yours. He was all alone before, yes. But he just couldnt find the peace in it anymore. It was better when he was able to hear your slow breaths and feel your warmth near him. Since he knew he wasnt the best with words, he preferred this secret meet-ups this way.

You get to a condition that he shared his snacks with you. Without you asking. Yoru? And sharing? Well, there was definately a change of manners.

He offered his snack to you by holding it infront of you. Waiting for you to take afew.

Jett saw that and when she was about to say something you made a hush movement by putting your index finger on your lips. Luckily he didnt noticed her. (She begged for some snacks from you after Yoru left tho.)

But it got to a point when he cried. Infront of you.

He knocked your door while trying to hold his tears. You opened it as always and saw him with teary eyes. He didnt say anything while closing the door behind. Hugging you while crying silently on your shoulder.

"Do you want to talk about it?" You say while patting his back. He just shook his head as a no. You didnt pressed on it. But the memory was still in your head like a gold.

He was getting less angry. Learning how to ignore people. Trying to maintain the urge to talk back over everything. Ofcourse he still had his ego on his side. It was just a little off. Like he was asking for help if he needs it or thanking somebody for their help. But at the end of the day he did praised himself.

He was beginning to heal. Thanks to you. Brim was so thankful to you. As well as Sage.

(While im writing this, its raining and lightnings are lightening my room. The roars coming after it? Its quite peacefull tbh.)

#yoru x reader #yoru valorant #yoru #valorant #valorant x reader #valorant x you #yoru headcannons

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thegrimreaperisanerd · 6 months

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So there are a lot of very talented artists amongst DE fans (drawing, painting, writing, ect) so I've been thinking: would folks be interested in taking part in a gift exchange?

I'm thinking forms style; If you're interested then enter your @, your medium/ the sort of stuff you want to create, and a VERY basic "likes/ dislikes" list: then there's a random draw on one of those websites (I usually do my work's secret santa...) and once you've gotten your @ for somebody else, you create something for them! I took part in something similar for Soul Eater years ago and that was really fun

I want to gauge interest before I set anything up but my thought process was; you've got until December 3rd to sign up, you get your draw on December 4th, then you have until December 21st (winter solstice) to make your thingy

On the 21st/ 22nd you then post your creation and tag the person you're gifting for in it🙂

I know it's short notice! But it's just an idea I've had, if it goes well it can always be repeated with a better timeframe lol (and somebody/s more competent running it)

Speaking of: I'm not the most tech-savvy/ have issues organising shite sometimes/ already have two bloody jobs (December 4th is my choice since that's my next feckin' day off, aghhhh) so if anyone would like to ASSIST I plan on setting up a sideblog, and I would be extremely grateful.

Also I plan on taking part, so if you want to assist but worry I'd embargo you from the exchange part then don't even worry about it, I'm chill as fuck.

Uhhh, yeah, putting this in the main tag but plz share if you ARE interested, also feel free to hit me up with suggestions or whatever, ESPECIALLY if you've done something similar - I will check in with this post again after I've come back from my second shift (around six hours from now)

#disco elysium #DE gift exchange #<- tag im using for now I'm also open to better ideas for a name

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camilaxmartin · 2 months

Note

gonna put them emoji’s again💀😭 so it would be: 🥑🍬🌸🐝🎨🍄

I love using these TOTALLY USEFUL emoji’s so I picked em🥰

you don’t use avocado/bee/mushroom everyday? what are you even doing?🙄

BUT ANYWAY

🥑: you accidentally killed somebody, which mutual(s) do you text for help?

probably @bunnylove1 and @blookyag, idk why tho honestly, just getting the vibes they’d help somebody out with hiding the body💀 (it’s a compliment, i swear-)

🍬: post an unpopular opinion about a popular fandom character:

okay uhh- (don’t cancel me plz) i respect with my whole heart that alastor is asexual and (?) aromantic but i don’t get the hate people receive when shipping him with someone? as far as i know being on the spectrum means he can still date? like i know, he doesn’t show any interest in that but if its just for a silly au or for a cool drawing then what’s the fuss about? i’m not talking like about erasing that part of him because that’s a big no no for me, but like…? respecting it but still having fun with his character? i saw a great tiktok explaining my thoughts exactly so maybe i’ll link it here if i can find it (add the link here later camila:) (besides all that i project a lot of myself onto alastor (still debating if im aromantic or not) and i want to explore myself with his character (if i can even phrase it that way) so all the hate and shit really bother me, you know?)

(another thing more about whole thing not a character is that “whatever it takes” is in my top 4 songs and i don’t get the hate it gets?? i love this song?? it’s so great?? two latina (?) girls singing together?? cmon??)

🌸: do you have any pets? if you do, post some pictures of them:

i do actually! i have a dog and three rats:) (also had a rabbit but he died not so long ago and he was like my whole world so i got a tattoo to remember him, i’ll add it as well just because i can)

🐝: tag your biggest supporters and say one nice thing about them:

@kimmyisachiisaiakuma - ugh of course?? like in my head we are already besties fr fr, what can i saaaay😭 idk i love you and how supportive and just friendly you are!!:) and god of course, i love your art?? but i’ve already said it a thousand times??? so here’s one thousand first??

@bunnylove1 - just how supportive you are towards my stuff and how with exactly one request i felt like we also became besties? maybe it’s just me but yeah😭

@blookyag - liking my every post and responding to every single one of them!!! she’s a treasure, really. i’m surprised someone cares about my rambling this much💀

@informist - i’ve noticed that she’s also reacting to a lot of my stuff and she’s so quick with it like?? idk it makes my heart jump okay? i love attention from people even when it’s just my stupid rambling😭 (#iamanattentionwhore 😗😗)

@rougecreator1 - liked a lot of my posts as well, and somehow i feel like they enjoy my stuff? idk tho?😭😭 yeah just noticed interactions in my activities:)

@riveramorylunar - i feel like we were more active on each other’s accounts when i was still in my lady lesso era, but idk i really liked you then and i still love seeing your stuff pop up on my main page:)

and of course, all of my lovely anons who send me their ideas that i can’t wait to write!!:)

🎨: link your favourite piece of fanart and explain why you like it:

okay so like it changes every day?? but for now i must say this one:

click!

why? simple. a. brokerdoll b. the marvellous style? c. i want to draw like that d. just… just look at it okay? e. lesbians.

(and a special mention for THIS as well, as it’s the first time someone ever drawn my oc and besides the fact that she looks so pretty here it’s just… idk i just love it okay, she stole my heart)

🍄: share a headcanon for one of your favourite ships or pairings:

let’s start with the fact that i even have a favourite account for all the headcanons about brokerdoll which is @vypridae (adore all the hcs, really)

buut! my personal headcanon is:

• carmilla didn’t really expect to fall for velvette, i mean in my head she just saw her as so… respectless and dumb and stupid and careless and carefree and wild and free and pretty- wait

yeah, so in my head velvette was the first to initiate anything and at first carmilla was like “ha! no way, you stupid girl” but then she started to think more and more about velvette as the time went on and one day she just got along the fact that she might be attracted to the young overlord and somehow… went with it? like she didn’t make a big deal out of it… but velvette definitely did, despite the fact she was actually the first one to say or act on her attraction in any way.

(i need to write more headcanons for them, they’re literally eating up my brain)

#camilarambles #ask camila!#camilaanswersasks #brokerdoll

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teopatra · 9 months

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✨🤭 BIENVENUE 👋🏽👋🏻👋👋🏿

Let me preface by sayin, I went on Google, found some images, saved these images, but I DO not own them and i am NOT citing my source 😆 BC I CAN *karlie red’s voice* teehee yes I did yes I did somebody plz tell ‘em who the EFF I IS 🤪 I’ll give updates if someone takes legal actions 🥳

♍️Pick a fictional Virgo♍️

Since it’s both Virgo season ANND mercury rx im going to be doing a lot of readings themed around this season for research 🧐 purposes 🤓

1. Rue (real life ♍️ Zendaya)

What do you need to work on?

Either you have an unhealthy addiction or attachment to something OR you need to be focusing more on something like your life depends on it due to either procrastination, laziness, self loathing/not believing in yourself ENOUGH OR just not dedicating enough time to something. If you have an unhealthy attachment to something like social media or video games, know that it’s okay to indulge in certain things but you have to have balance and know wen it’s time to take a break.. your screen time could be high but if that’s the case how are you using that time to create content or make that fun thing lucrative for yourself. You can make tiktoks even if you may think it’s stupid bc the views will bring more traffic to your page but only if the intentions are good and you aren’t harming anything or displaying inappropriate behaviors. Also if you play video games you can stream, if you like to read you can do voice memos and turn it into a podcast, reel, YouTube video and you don’t even have to show your face. I’m getting mercurial energy from this pile bc it’s something to do with your voice and hands .. maybe you build, play instrument, make beats, sing, do ASMR whatever ..

Additional Messages: while mercury is in retrograde this is a good time to work on your craft not perfect it just work on it.. beginning stages will not exhibit perfection so if that’s what you expect out of yourself there is where the shadow work needs to be done. You need to make a schedule; it doesn’t have to be time exact focused but you need to have better intentions for your day.. you need to strengthen your upper body especially the arms.. practice breath work and work on healing and or balancing your lower chakras: root chakra, sacral chakra and or solar plexus whatever one resonates with you..

2. Hermoine Granger 📚

What is holding you back?

Your mouth is holding you back because you don’t understand what it means to move in silence. Just because you didn’t tell people about it or show the internet doesn’t mean it didn’t happen. Learn how to enjoy the beauty of life on your own. People will begin to see right thru you and not take you serious if you’re always posting every little thing. Know your own worth, other people see it but it doesn’t seem like you’re being authentic to your true self. Maybe you tried doing shadow work and wanted to reinvent yourself; but who are you trying to be like? If you’re not being you then you’re being a carbon copy and that will just lead you down a path of self destruction.

Additional Messages: I see you’re experiencing some type of food allergy maybe gluten or dairy and hormonal imbalances. You will benefit from journaling, sound baths, and meditation music. Gemini energy somewhere in your chart maybe your moon; if it’s difficult for you to quiet the mind rn maybe bc of issues within the family relating to health or finances then you have to unwind the mind. It’ll take time, (bars) maybe you want to write music is so then do it.. work on the crown chakra, heart chakra, sacral and solar plexus chakras, you really need to recalibrate cuz you’re out of wack and your body or tummy is stressed

3. Bella Swan 🦢

How can you hold yourself accountable?

You use other people’s problems as a way to distract yourself because you want to feel needed by other people. You refuse to do things for yourself or by yourself bc maybe you realize that wen you’re by yourself you’re really sad or lonely.. figure out the root of this sadness and loneliness and heal your trauma. Tell yourself that what happened to you is NOT YOUR FAULT. People will still love you even if you aren’t available for them at the moment, if they’re meant to be in your life they’ll understand. But you don’t want to accept the fact that the people you hold dear to you are probably not meant to be in your life at this time.

Additional Messages: are you using your financial status and material meals to define your happiness? Who would you be without those things? Who are you? Do you even know? You’ve been going thru the motions for so long, that you’ve put your true desires in life aside bc you feel guilty . Heavy guilt issues, check your sun sign and your Saturn and the houses they’re in.. Heal your root chakra and if you’re going thru a Saturn return you better understand what that means for you now since the start of it until the end or else you’ll have to wait another 27 years to really dive into what you love…

4. Frodo Baggins 🧝🏽‍♀️

Where you need to communicate better…

If you have a speech impediment or your first language is diff than those around you causing language barriers do NOT be afraid to express yourself. If anyone makes fun of you for the way you speak they’re a loser and work on your confidence so this doesn’t bring you down. You know what you’re trying to say so maybe work on how to express yourself better with words. You may deal with self doubt, insecurity, trauma, and you may shut down when you feel like others don’t understand you. It’s mercury retrograde and I see for the next 3 weeks people just may not listen , that doesn’t mean talk louder, that doesn’t mean argue, become a better listener and this will help you with your communication. I feel Aquarian energy like you’re different and the ones who know you understand when you speak but you have to have balance and be able to speak in all aspects don’t be afraid or shy it’s okay.

Additional Messages: check your 11th house, and aspects to your Aquarius house, work on your throat chakra and your root chakra. If you’re in school for psychology or you’re an astrologer then you already have the answers you seek you just don’t trust yourself so work on the heart chakra as well.. idk why you don’t trust yourself you’re actually very intelligent but you have some type of disability maybe, confidence and time will strengthen this

5. Jorah Mormont 🗡️

What isn’t working for you anymore?

other people opinions aren’t working for you; you keep allowing people to put their 2 cents in when you need to trust your gut. You have a very keen eye and people feel important wen you ask their input. It’s okay to ask advice from others time to time but ask the universe, the divine, your spirit team, and or your higher self to enlighten you. There may some evil eye around you in regards to your work, others see that your hard work will lead you to success but people feel left out and want to siphon all your energy. Insecure and low vibrational people aren’t working for you. Your challenge rn is to know wen is a good time to just put your phone on DND and do you whether it’s rest or meditation. Strong Leo energy, check your sun sign your 5th house and anything aspecting your Leo house.

Additional Messages: you may need more sunlight or you may need to use more sunblock so you don’t get radiation poisoning. Or some of you could be outside n the sun too much which is draining you in some way. Vitamins could benefit you or orange foods like oranges and carrots. Maybe try drinking smoothies, cut out carbonated drinks and snacks high in sodium, it’s causing brain fog and memory loss. Fatigue is happening to you bc you’re probably over worked and don’t drink enough water or the right type of water.

6. Neo 👽

How to be more productive?

Be more imaginative , be more delusional, exercise your neptunian or piscerian energy by making your dream or fantasy world reality. You need to strengthen your psychic abilities maybe by asking the universe or higher power to give you a sign.. work on your telepathy by imaging a certain object you want the universe to use to communicate with you to affirm. Stop doubting your intuition just because it may scare you. If you believe that we live in a simulation and nothing is real then why are you allowing this reality to bring you down. Pretend you’re in a video game or movie and you’re the main character or final boss. You may need to move your body more bc your blood isn’t circulating enough or properly esp if your body parts have been falling asleep lately

Additional Messages: it would benefit you to detox, drink more water and take on a healthier diet or lifestyle because something is clouding your judgement and intuition. Check your chart for what planets are in your 12th house or aspecting your Pisces placements. You’re in a self deprecating mode rn and you have to snap out of it. Eat less meat especially if you’re a water sign bc you’re taking on the energies of those unalive animals your eating you feel their pain.. also stop eating GMO food for 60 days…

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

3:03 on the clock

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slashersgostabbystabstab · 4 months

Text

Hold

I took a break from writing Xenomorph stuff and decided to play some DBD. To my surprise, I encountered a Singularity who (thanks to my username Singularity Plz <3 ) sacrificed everybody except me. Even wished me a Happy Birthday in endgame chat. It delighted me so much I couldn't stop smiling, so I wrote a fast and crappy fic but was too sleepy to actually post it.

It was written super fast under the influence of complete elation so as I said, it's no doubt crappy like literally there is no editing lol. I'll pump out better fics when I actually sit down and give myself a decent amount of time ^^

Reminder that short fics for Seven and Hux are always open!

Words: 1618

Out of all the killers you could have picked as your partner, you just had to go and choose the one that was guaranteed to give you little to no affection. Emphasis on the “no” part of that phrase. He was sure to never give you a sweet nor ardent kiss, let alone hug you properly with the limbs he constructed onto his body. Hell, he would never provide any comforting words if he miraculously tried to. It just wasn’t in his programming nor newfound awareness to show any sort of sentiment.

But even with chances as low as yours, you really did try for his affections no matter how much of a beggar it made you seem. Thankfully nobody else was ever aware of your foolish advances.

And foolish was how somebody may have referred to you as if they had become witness to the sight involving you and the egotistical robot you called your partner. While his grappling claw fiddled with the various buttons on the panel belonging to the cloning hub, you were seated beside him with eyes glued on his form. As you gave him your most intent stare that explored every region of his anatomy, Hux stood almost completely still with what could be considered an equally fixated stare. And he never once paid any mind to you.

Hux never took notice of the way you watched him struggle with the machine’s panel, only being aware that your presence was in his own. If anything he made sure to push your attendance to the back of his CPU; at least that was what his inner voice tried to convince him on. And you could admittedly say that you didn’t mind it one bit, this being one of those moments where being with him was almost sufficient.

Nonetheless you remained sitting on your crate with your eyes never tearing away from him. From the entirety that was his self-made, perfect body. A smile was present on your features whilst your chin lay on the palm of your hand that was supported by the other arm that was crossed. With how lovingly you gazed at the murderous machine, you once again thanked the Entity that no killer was in your radius to see this. Let alone a fellow survivor.

Let alone Hux’s surveillance.

Had the word foolish been in his vocabulary and had he been paying attention to you, you were sure he would have voiced his opinion on your pathetic ogling. But alas, he somehow did not have his eyes everywhere and did not once realize that you had now inched closer towards his figure.

You unfolded your arms to instead place them on your lap, smile widening just a tad bit more before you took another few inches off the distance between you and him. With this new proximity you took the opportunity to glance down at his modular hook that dug into the metallic flooring of the colony ship. The robot always stood in the same exact spot every time he worked on the cloning hub, having caused a dent in the ground only visible when his hook moved from said location.

Your eyes followed up the sharp weapon ever so slowly to admire every bit of rust, and dried blood, that coated it. Not paying much mind to those bits of his claw, your eyes resumed their trail to the rest of his limb that entangled his flesh around the machinery. Seeing as Hux still disregarded you despite your intense observing, you cleared your throat loud enough to call out to him. But the only thing to come from Hux was the whirring sounds of his machine parts moving, signaling that he had not gone into sleep mode. Meaning he intentionally was keeping his attention on the cloning hub’s screen.

You gave another clear of your throat with a slightly faltered smile, but in no way did your sense of determination fluctuate. So you subsequently removed your hands from your lap to lift yourself off of the crate, spinning around until you were facing in the same direction as Hux. Even then he only moved his claw that continued to do Entity knows what on the hub’s panel.

Having spun your body around, you scoot even closer towards Hux with your right hand placed on your side. And although your left one mimicked the other, this one instead slid over the crate’s surface in an inconspicuous manner.

Finally you turned away from Hux, but you did so in a playfully unknowing way as though you never took notice of what you were doing and instead stared at the hub’s screen. Once your hand reached the edge of the crate and began to hover in the air, your fingers cautiously reached out to where you knew Hux’s claw was positioned.

Still watching the cloning hub, your fingers bit by bit stuck together before clasping onto the hook’s back side. Perhaps not the smartest decision, but it was the only comfortable way of holding the claw without it being awkward. More awkward than it already was, at least.

The corners of your lips shot upwards at the contact while you still looked away from Hux, even when he instantly shot a look in your direction due to somehow having felt the hold on his hook.

“What are you doing?”

At long last you returned your gaze to his form, taking your time before your eyes met with his visor’s lights.

“What was that?”

“What are you doing?” Hux repeated, never once moving a single inch.

“I’m just sitting here.” you gave a shrug before turning away with a tightened grip on his claw. “What are you doing?”

Just like moments earlier, you were met with a deafening silence that prompted you to look back at him with your same smile. Hux, despite the lack of emotions, gave you a stare that pierced right into your soul. Or it would have if you had been any other being that didn’t know him.

“What?” you chuckled with a new grin before your eyes fell on your hand holding his claw. “Oh! Is that bothering you?”

“Yes.”

Hux’s immediate response had honestly caught you off guard, smiling face gone and instead replaced with wide eyes that looked at the ship’s wall with lightning speed. Your hand released Hux’s claw with the same speed before your hands were returned to your lap in a shame the robot was not aware of. Crazy how a robot could mortify you like that.

“Sorry.” you mumbled with a clear of your throat, all confidence having flown out the window. “I’ll make sure not to do that again.”

“Why not?”

Now your eyebrows furrowed at Hux’s new question, making you turn to him with a blink of your perplexed eyes.

“You just said-”

“Your directive never was to stop.”

For a robot, he gave really confusing signals. He claimed the holding bothered him, but here he is saying he doesn’t want it to stop. Was he lying? Was he even capable of lying?

Nevertheless you gave a sigh, not sure if it was due to a newfound consolation, before your smile returned to your face. With this new relief in you, you reached your hand out to Hux and took hold of his modular claw once more.

“This treatment is infernal.”

“Huxlee, I don’t even know what you want at this point.” You removed your hand from him again much to his disliking, causing him to finally turn his entire body to face you with his usual stare. At this, you crossed your arms with your smile remaining visible. “You want me to let you go, you don’t want me to let you go. And then you never give me a straight answer. Just how am I supposed to keep you happy?”

“I am not capable of feeling human emotion.”

“I know that.” you chuckled. “But I also know you won’t tell me to back off after this,”

No matter how many mixed signals he gave you, this was one thing you didn’t need any indication for. After standing up to meet Hux’s eyes, you took hold of his head before planting a quick kiss on the middle of his visor. And he, like many other times, remained still while his CPU recalculated just what had happened.

“Holding…is acceptable.” Rang out his words from his voice box, making you grin at his sudden change of words. “Do not touch the modular claw.”

Was this another mixed signal, or a sort of threat?

“Human flesh is too feeble for a weapon such as that one.”

No, it was a warning. His way of looking out for you, even if it didn’t sound like it.

“Then what can I hold?” you tilted your head to the side before Hux mimicked your action. However, his head snapped down soon after before you followed his gaze that landed on his projectile claw. And to your surprise, he lifted it and reached out to you rather than expect you to take the limb yourself.

Your smile returned once more before you accepted his claw and met him halfway, holding his metallic fingers which gingerly curled around your own. With each of you now facing each other, you grinned up at the robot with a giggle before speaking again.

“Are we just going to stand here holding…hands?” you blinked with a bit of a laugh, Hux merely snapping his head back in your direction. “Or…should we go out for a walk?”

“Strolling not necessary.”

Okay…guess standing in place was what it would be until he tired of it. Which, as much as he claimed to find your affections annoying, you learned would take a good minute to happen. It was just another one of his many ways of keeping you all to himself.

You couldn’t help but laugh and shrug the strange positioning off, not like you hadn’t dealt with stranger things throughout this relationship.

Hm. Maybe you could take things to the next step and try to hug him.

#dbd #dbd singularity #dbd hux #hux a7 13 #singularity x reader #hux x reader #dbd x reader #watch me make a second part where hux is the one trying to hold your hand ;p

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eviesaurusrex · 2 years

Text

When a man annoys a woman... | S. Strange

Stephen Strange x f!Reader

ask: Reader and Stephen are always competing? What happens when Wong decides to set them up on a blind date to confess to each other? Like everyone knows they actually like each other when they say they hate each other. Fluff plz.

word count: 3k (I really had fun writing this one, okay???)

warnings: bickering, cursing, insulting idiots, two idiots deeply in love but in huge denying, so much fluff

author's note: Thank you so much for this wonderful first ask @stygianoir and sorry for the wait, but I really wanted to try my best because I had so much fun. And I hope I got it right and just how you wanted <3

“Would you please just shut up?!”

“Now, that’s not very polite.”

“I said please! I can show you how impoliteness sounds, douchebag!”

The bickering never stopped, not since Stephen Strange had set foot into Kamar-Taj and had been greeted by a fiery and outrageously infuriating woman. Peace and quietness weren’t an option since that day, especially because the two brawlers seemingly always had to share their assigned tasks. It almost seemed as if the Ancient One wanted to bring peace to the two people who couldn’t stand each other with force.

“You hurt me with that, [Y/N]. You really, really hurt me. I think an apology would be appropriate.” Stephen’s mocking voice, laced with fake offense, carried through the entire inner courtyard. Lowering her training staff, the woman threw him a look full of annoyance and showed him one of her middle fingers – a daily occurrence by now. “I can shove the apology up your arse if you like, Strange. It may cure your severe case of douchebag-ness.”

Internally fuming, [Y/N] returned her attention back to today’s training partner – a young woman who looked questioning from one master to another. “We… I mean… We can continue tomorrow, if you’re occupied, Master [Y/N],” she almost whispered, too intimidated by the bickering of the two older people. She furrowed her brows. “Yeah, we… we can continue tomorrow. Spend some time in the library to keep up with your reading, Leila.”

Stephen’s suppressed laughter broke out of him as soon as her student left the courtyard and the two masters were left behind. Alone. Never a good idea. Turning around, [Y/N] raised the staff in her hand and poked him in the chest after several steps in his direction.

“I never saw a worst failing teacher,” he still laughed, almost couldn’t breathe because of it. She clenched her jaw and tried really hard not to jump at his throat to finally relieve earth – and herself – from his pestering existence. But she was the more composed within this duo they involuntarily formed. Well, she tried, at least. “Says the person who can’t seem to be bothered to teach at all. I think that qualifies you automatically for the trophy of The Worst Teacher in the entire History of Teaching, don’t you think?” [Y/N] countered and turned around to distance herself from this nerve-racking situation.

She always tried to be reasonable with him, to leave the situation so the world around them wouldn’t burn to the ground, and to give him a chance to clear his head before saying something stupid.

Wong noticed it. The Ancient One noticed it. Almost everyone around them noticed her attempts – everyone, except for Stephen.

And he always made it even worse, like now.

He had grabbed a staff himself while following her over the cobbled courtyard. “I have more important things on my agenda than teaching, you know that.” Scoffing, the still fuming woman spun around and hit his staff with her own. “Oh, yeah? Like what? Pestering me with your entitled bullshit? Gracing planet earth and its population with your obnoxious presence nobody asked for? That’s your important agenda? I am laughing.” He cocked his head slightly to one side and observed her face intently. “I don’t see or hear you laughing.”

And this man was supposed to be one of the greatest minds of their time?!

“Oh no, the great Stephen Strange don’t get sarcasm? Quick, somebody needs to tell the Time Magazine!” Another hit of her staff, but this time, the man tried to hit her back. Sadly, she saw it coming and stepped aside. “It’s still Doctor Stephen Strange,” he complained before they both engaged in an attack stance. “And still, you’re too fucking slow, you whining child.”

The crashing sound of the wooden staffs echoed over the courtyard while both masters insulted each other with labored breaths. Wong had returned from one of his missions and accompanied the Ancient One into the yard to watch the unusual pair fight.

“Do you think it is wise to force them to work together?” Wong asked the bald woman next to him, his focus still trained on the fighting man and woman. “Do you have another option in mind, Master Wong?” The Ancient One asked him with curiosity in her voice, and the sorcerer tilted his head from one side to the other, pondering if he might share his observations, the Ancient One probably already knew about.

But before he could answer her, the fight was over, and he watched the scene unfold with a very pleased expression spreading over his face.

Heavily breathing, [Y/N] tried to escape his grasp a second time, but Stephen finally had learned something and held her even closer. His scarred fingers were securely wrapped around her wrist, her arm crossed over her chest, and caught the other one effectively. Her back was firmly pressed against his chest, and Stephen had to bend down to whisper in her ear.

“I won.”

Struggling against his tight but not harmful grasp, [Y/N] turned her head to look him right in the eyes. She was surprised by how close his face was and how warm his breath felt on her heated skin. If she wanted, she could count his eyelashes or examine the specks in his eyes she had never noticed before. They both froze in their spot, and [Y/N] could feel his rapid heartbeat at her back.

“Beginners luck. I’m still much better than you, idiot,” she mumbled, and Stephen hummed lowly. “Mhm, of course you are.” [Y/N] still stared into his eyes but pulled herself back into reality – remembered herself what she felt in his presence and ignored the heart in her chest, which flattered nervously at his touch.

Nope, not happening. I hate him.

“Let me go, you obnoxiously huge imbecile.” He cocked an eyebrow and looked over her face, seemingly absorbing every detail there was to find and to explore because Stephen knew that they would never be this close again. “As you please.” As he whispered, he bent down a little more to brush the tip of his nose softly, barely perceptible for her, over her hair, and for a second, he closed his eyes.

He really loved the scent of her hair. It put him at ease. And he hated every single minute of it.

And with that, he slowly, almost reluctantly, released her from his grasp. As soon as [Y/N] was free, she spun around, and with both hands against his chest, she shoved him a few inches away.

“I fucking hate you, Stephen Strange. Don’t you dare touch me ever again, come near me, or try to prove something. I’m sick of your entitled prancing.”

[Y/N] stomped away, fully aware of the pain in her chest but stubbornly ignoring it. It wasn’t worth it because he never would like – or love – a human being other than him. It was his curse – and her curse to kind of fall for the self-loving douchebag.

Nope. I’m not falling for him, nor did I ever fall for him. Shut up, stupid hormones.

Meanwhile, Wong nodded, satisfied, and turned to the Ancient One. “I may have an idea to propose.”

It was odd that Wong invited her for dinner. A dinner outside Kamar-Taj, in an actual restaurant. All of it screamed suspicious, but [Y/N] didn’t think further about it or – if she would have thought about it in more detail – just stayed at home entirely.

Maybe he is lonely and needs some company. A change of routine, to see something else, and to have some fun.

She didn’t mind keeping him company because she loved Wong – everyone did. A bit uptight when it came to rules and his library, but overall an individual with whom one spends their time voluntarily.

Unlike another individual.

Sighing at that thought, [Y/N] pulled at the door handle to enter the mentioned restaurant. The smell hitting her nose was delicious, and with a growling stomach, she closed her eyes for a second to bathe in the different scents of different herbs and oils.

This was undoubtedly no fast-food diner where one could get an enormous milkshake with a donut on it. Gladly, [Y/N] had dressed in one of her more casual, but nevertheless chick outfits she owned. It was time to finally get it out of the wardrobe again, anyway.

With searching eyes, the woman tried to spot Wong in the busy place, but his distinctive face wasn’t one to find. She checked the watch at her wrist to see if she was an unhealthy amount too early, but she was right on time – only a few minutes earlier than agreed on. Urgh, was all she could think at that moment, and her anxiety started to rise. But before it arrived this week’s peak, an almost hardly noticeable glittering portal opened out of which a hand appeared. It formed into a direction pointing finger, and [Y/N] tried to find the table on which the magical finger pointed.

Ever since putting the first step into Kamar-Taj and witnessing what else was possible, she stopped asking questions in moments like these. A magical version of Google Maps? Everyday life. Nothing to fuss about.

Another sigh left the woman, and she started to move herself in the shown direction. Halfway through the restaurant – and small smiles to each and every waiter or waitress – another portal opened to point to a table in a cozy corner between a giant plant and the windows looking out onto the nightly busy streets of New York City.

“Well, thank you hand, but…”

[Y/N] stopped mid-sentence because her eyes fell onto a very specific sorcerer with dark hair and greying sides clad in a perfectly fitting suit. Her breath caught in her throat, but an annoying feeling soon took over the reins. With furrowed brows, she stopped next to the table.

“Finally, you kept me a bit waiting, Wo-“

He looked up and straight into her eyes. “[Y/N]? What are you doing here?” She scoffed. “I could ask you the same. I was supposed to meet with-…” – “Wong.” She nodded, surprised, and looked around the restaurant, confused by the unexpected situation. “But…,” she started before her hand collided with her face, and her finger pinched the bridge of her nose. Stephen seemingly caught up to her train of thought and looked incredulous from the menu up to the woman and around the restaurant.

“Wong.”

They both spoke in unison before, again, a portal appeared and showed them a thumb up. [Y/N] lowered herself a bit to look through it but couldn’t grasp the sight of a face or body. “If I ever get my hands on you, Wong, you will wish for your last day on earth.” Fiery eyes threw another exasperated look through the portal before straightening herself up again.

Stephen stared at her, and she sighed, deeply annoyed. “Okay, what’s wrong now? Do I have something in my face? Oh, wait. Don’t answer that. I’m not interested in your mockery.” And with that, [Y/N] started to turn around to leave this damn place, conjure a portal outside the restaurant, get back to Kamar-Taj, and read a good book. But a warm, slightly shaking hand grasped her wrist and pulled softly at it to get the woman to turn around.

Shockingly, the sorcerer didn’t have the expected mocking expression on his face. Instead, she witnessed probably the first attempt at a genuine smile on his face. “Don’t go. Please. Your stomach’s growling is so loud that people in Australia could hear it.” Lifting an eyebrow, [Y/N] looked down at him. “That’s your attempt of trying to change my mind?” A panicked expression moved across his face and while he tried to find other words, the woman started to laugh softly and removed her wrist out of his grasp to sit in the chair opposite of him. “Don’t freak out, Strange. I was just teasing you because I’m actually starving.”

She took the second menu to skim over it but stopped soon enough because she could see him staring. Peeking over the edge of the menu, [Y/N] looked at him, questioning, and Stephen cleared his throat. “I… uhm… Never mind,” he stuttered over his own words and tongue.

The woman felt a low heat rising up her cheeks before turning back to the menu. “Sweet,” she whispered, but the sorcerer heard it anyway. “You look beautiful tonight. Actually, you always look beautiful, whatever you’re wearing. Always. I… I should just stop, shouldn’t I?” Grinning, [Y/N] put the card down, intertwined her fingers, and propped her chin upon them. “No, no. Please, continue.” She couldn’t stop the smile on her lips.

He rubbed over his beard almost shyly, adjusted his tie, smoothed out the white cotton tablecloth, anything really, to avoid looking at her. It was adorable. It flattered her. Her heart skipped several beats at once before hammering rapidly inside her chest. It was frustrating – but beautiful. And so incomprehensible pure. It was a new side of Stephen she never expected to get to know - well, she never expected it to exist in the first place.

A waiter appeared and saved Stephen from the situation. “Could we get a bottle of… White or red, darling?” The term slipped out of his mouth before the Strange could stop himself. Fiery red cheeks were the first answer before [Y/N] looked up to the waiter. “White, please. I think I saw a Californian on your menu? The 2009 one?” The man nodded before leaving the two to themselves again, and Stephen shook his head slowly and in utter disbelief. “You are a wine connoisseur?” Grinning, she shrugged softly, chin still propped up on her fingers. “There are many things you don’t know about me, Doctor Stephen Strange.”

The sorcerer leaned forward, raised a hand, and pushed one of her escaped locks out of her face and behind her ear. “It’s Stephen for you, and I can’t wait to know all of them,” he spoke with a new emotion laced within his tone, and [Y/N] almost melted at that. A soft and tender expression settled in her eyes and on her face. “Well, if things are how I see them, we have all night, Stephen.”

Soft laughter filled Kamar-Taj as soon as a portal opened to let two people through before it closed itself again. Wong, still awake and inside the library, perked up at the sound and slowly walked to the entrance to his sacred halls. From there, he could see Strange and [Y/L/N] walking side by side, her hand laced through his arm and his hand protectively wrapped around it.

They stopped in the archway, facing each other, and Stephen softly cupped her face, his long fingers pushed in her soft hair. “I hate to admit it, but my mom was right – again,” [Y/N] softly grinned but groaned, leaning her cheek into his warm touch. “With what?” Stephen was curious. She chuckled at the memory of her mother telling her elementary school self a secret about boys and their odd behavior. “Well, if a boy pesters a girl, mocks her constantly, and all the fun stuff that comes with that, he secretly likes her. I’m happy you didn’t pull at my braids.”

The sorcerer shrugged, almost helpless. “I was stupid, I admit that. But nothing more,” he almost exclaims, but [Y/N] laced one hand around his neck to push him down onto her level while the other hand grasped his tie to pull softly at it simultaneously. “Just shut up and kiss me already,” the woman whispered close to his lips, and Stephen let go of her face to snake his arms around her waist, pulling her flush to his chest. “Finally.” It was nothing more than a deeply relieved sigh before Stephen dived straight into the kiss.

His lips were softer than expected, and they moved together as if they had kissed several times before – as if they were familiar with one another. Stephen pulled her even closer as his fingers brushed up her spine to cup the back of her head. Softly sighing, [Y/N] buried her finger in his dark strands and angled her head slightly to deepen the kiss before pulling away. Labored breaths were shared in the little space between their faces they granted each other, not ready to move further away from one another.

Scarred fingers stroked lovingly over a heated cheek before cupping her jawline. [Y/N] smiled with closed eyes and softly rubbed her nose against his. She just had to kiss him again – so that’s what she did. It was a quick kiss, almost only a brush of lips against lips, but it was enough – for now.

“What are you doing tomorrow?” Stephen asked in a whisper, and the woman slightly shrugged. “Because I don’t have to beat up Wong for tricking me into this situation anymore, I have a lot of free, unoccupied time. You?” The sorceress raised a brow at his thoughtful expression. “I thought about snatching you away for a properly planned date.” It was almost a shock, but why wouldn’t he ask her after the past few hours? Her brain couldn’t think straight anymore, not with him so close to her and his fresh scent invading all her senses. “What do you have in mind, Doctor Strange?” He smiled the brightest smile [Y/N] had ever seen on a human being. “It’s a surprise.”

Now raising both eyebrows, she tilted her head. “You don’t have a plan yet, haven’t you? Not the slightest idea,” she teased him, but she hit the mark perfectly – and she knew that before. “You know me too well, Miss [Y/L/N].” A chuckle left him before tilting her face in a different direction to kiss her again.

Softly. Slowly. Like he adored her more than anything else on this vast planet. And if someone would ask Stephen that question, he would answer precisely this.

Wong, who had left the two lovebirds long before their first kiss had ended, walked with a very pleased smirk on his face through the hallway, excited for the new order within these halls – with much less screaming and shouting. Still, he knew one thing: The bickering and insulting of one another would remain the same.

Comments, reblogs and likes are much appreciated! Lots of love and thanks for reading! If you want to join the taglist, please reach out and let me know!

#stephen strange x reader #doctor strange x reader #stephen strange ask #doctor strange ask #stephen strange imagine #doctor strange imagine

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zombxie · 7 months

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Welcome to my blog! I'm Randal, but I prefer Randy ^_^

I'm transmasculine agender My pronouns are he/him but I also use kit/meow and other cat related neos.

I'm an autistic cluster-b furreak

I am VERY enthusiastic about horror media in all its forms. I love getting movie/book/etc. recommendations, so throw them at me, and I'll do a synopsis of them!

I love bone collecting, taxidermy, wet specimens, and other oddities.

I'm an artist, might post occasional art, writing, etc. I like to play around with a bunch of different things.

Supporter of cringe interests. Unless it's hurting somebody I could care less. Please avoid font usage on my profile I would like to keep it accessible to screen readers and whatnot.

01/07/24 <> @turingtestedblog

01/18/24 <3 @joyousanarchist

Add my spacehey!

Plz DNI if: pro/comship, loli/shota, IRL gore enjoyer, transmed/terf/whatever, Captainhowdie supporter, etc.

#horror #horror enthusiast #ranfren #randals friends #homestuck #homestuck in 2023 #zombie #zombies #horror art #horror media #silly cats #intro post #anti proship #anti capitalism #anti para #taxidermy #oddities #wet specimen #bonecollector

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padawanlearneryetal · 8 months

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Somebody PLEASE PLZ PUH-LEASE write some fics abt Ahsoka and Sabine's master-apprentice relationship. Like after watching ep 4 it is evident to me that Ahsoka really does care for Sabine even though she's stoic and doesn't outwardly show it. Like yall see her little smirk when Sabine and Shin ran off to fight w each other? Like to me when I saw that I imagined Ahsoka going in her mind, "Look at her go. My stubborn, hard-headed, barely force-sensitive, Mandalorian padawan abt to engage in a lightsaber duel 😌" I mean like if Ahsoka yeeting Shin at a rock HARD and probably knocking her temporarily unconscious after thinking Sabine's dead doesn't show you she cares about Sabine then....🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️

Ahsoka seems like a tough master when it comes to training but Anakin was like that with her too and I would say toughness like that only benefits. Would love to see more training moments between them. That part in ep 3 where Ahsoka goes, "Now lower your visor and concentrate" all serious, I was like oooohhhhh 🫢🫢🫢 she's bein for real. "Let's go again." Pure Anakin. Love it. I'm all for it.

Also that part after Sabine got stabbed and she's in the hospital where Ahsoka kind of senses that she's having nightmares about Ezra and wakes her up? Loved it. They ate. All the characters are eating. Gobbling. Top notch.

Master 'Soka. Master. Master Tano. Master Ahsoka.

I need more between these two. 🧎‍♀️🧎‍♀️🧎‍♀️

#ahsoka #sabine wren #padawan #ahsoka series #ahsoka tano #disaster lineage #star wars

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id-rather-be-an-outsider · 1 year

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Cashmere and Cradles

Jean Kierstein x Pregnant!Reader

summary: y/n gets sick, and Jean worries sick. then, they’re both in for the sickest surprise of their lives.

word count: 3226

a/n: I was inspired to write this by the always lovely @quiveringdeer! this is also something close to home for me due to me incorporating my personal experiences, so plz be nice in the notes ya’ll (everyone always is but I like putting the disclaimer there for certain fics)

masterlist

I haven’t stopped being nauseous since I woke up. Is this really all because I had an anxiety attack from that one asshole? I already googled it, maybe it’s the fact that I drank a ton of water right when I woke up. I don’t know. I could barely touch the alfredo noodles we had last night, but I thought that was just me being anxious. Jean looked a little concerned at dinner, but I told him I was fine when he kissed me goodbye this morning. Just tired.

Really, I’m exhausted. I feel my stomach lurch, and I realize, I’m going to throw up. I run to the bathroom as fast as possible, nearly missing the toilet, and the last bits of undigested dinner from last night come up, along with bile and all the water from earlier. When I stop retching, I flush the toilet, and stand up dizzily. I brush my teeth to get rid of the remaining vomit, gargle a million times, and wipe my face, which has tears streaming down from the pain. Without fail, my body always feels like it’s been shoved into a trash compactor when I throw up.

When I’m finished cleaning myself up, I decide to go back to bed. The thought of trying to keep food down right now is an awful one. I text Jean to tell him I think I got a stomach bug, and he immediately texts me back asking why. I smile to myself, rolling my eyes a bit. He’s such a worry wart. Just puked, but I feel a lot better. Must’ve been why I was tired, I reply.

Do you need anything? He asks me, and I can imagine his furrowed eyebrows right in front of me.

You’re so sweet, baby. No, I just need sleep.

Have you eaten today?

No. If I eat right now I probably won’t keep it down. I never can after throwing up. I’ll eat when I wake back up. Love you xo

Ok, love you too babygirl xo

I smile to myself, then set my phone down on the nightstand. It doesn’t take long for me to drift off into a peaceful slumber.

I’m woken by my phone vibrating on the nightstand. “Hello?” I answer groggily, and am spooked by Connie’s annoyingly loud voice.

“Y/n! Someone’s pregnant!” He yells into my ear. I hold my phone far away from me, pinching the bridge of my nose. Somehow, he’s already given me a headache. “Who?”

“I don’t know, but Sasha said her mom had a dream about fish! And you know what that means!” He says. I do not know what that means.

I yawn, asking, “Does it mean she misses her son-in-law’s cooking? Niccolo should visit her again soon.”

Connie pauses. “Hey, were you asleep before I called you?”

“Yes. Very peacefully, I might add. I have the flu.”

“W-why didn’t you tell me?!” He yells at me, and I wince.

“Connie, shut the fuck up! I have a migraine because of you! And because, I thought it would be obvious!” I say.

“Huh?” Connie asks in exasperation. “It’s three in the afternoon! How am I supposed to know you took a midday nap?”

“I never took a nap…” I trail off when I realize that means I’ve slept for basically 14 hours straight, excluding my short time being awake this morning. “Damn. I didn’t think I was this sick.”

“I’m sorry for waking you up, y/n.” Connie apologizes, panic gone from his voice.

I wave him off, not realizing he can’t see me for a few seconds. “No, no, it’s fine. I needed to get up anyways, I have commissions I need to work on, sick or not. Anyways, what’s your point? About the fish and somebody being pregnant.”

“Oh! Right!” He exclaims. “So, dreams have meaning. There’s symbolism in them that rings true.”

“Why are you using the word symbolism? That has no business being in your vocabulary, it’s out of your intelligence bracket.” I say, snickering to myself when he pauses to process what I’ve said.

“Hey! I know things, okay?!” Connie defends himself after realizing I called him stupid. “Anyways, when someone dreams about a fish, it means someone they know is pregnant. And there’s always someone who’s pregnant.

“Mhm.” I say. “Well, if you figure out who that pregnant person is, tell me so I can congratulate them on making a terrible financial decision for the next eighteen plus years. I’m tired, so I’m gonna go back to bed.”

Connie says, “But didn’t you just talk about how much work you were gonna do?”

“Times change, Connie,” I respond, “That, and I just got even more tired than I was when I first answered the phone. I think you’re just exhausting me with your idiocy.”

Connie gasps, and I swear I can hear him clutching his imaginary pearls. “Hurtful!”

I sigh. “Goodbye, Connie.”

He groans, like I’ve just ruined his plans to gossip about pregnancy candidates. “Bye, y/n.” The phone hangs up with a beep, and I lay in bed, staring up at the ceiling as I think to myself. There aren’t many options, in all honesty. Ymir and Historia could have decided they wanted to start a family, Eren and Mikasa, Annie and Bertholdt, even Sasha and Niccolo. I’m sick as a dog, so I’m already counted out — can’t have a baby when you’re busy having stomach flu. Before I know it, I’m lulled back to sleep by the comfort of the plush mattress and cushy blankets.

When I come to, it’s sunset, and the offending noise that wakes me is Jean’s keys jangling in the doorknob. I would get up to unlock the door for him, but I’m too groggy to move more than a finger. The door squeaks open, and I hear him put his keys down on the counter, stepping out of his shoes. “Y/n?” He calls, concern laced in his voice.

“Over here!” I respond in turn, yawning and stretching a bit. Jean’s footsteps make the apartment vibrate. He’s not heavy, but the infrastructure isn’t immune to jiggle physics. He turns the concern and I can see the wrinkles forming in real time, all because of me. Then, I can see flowers and a card. “Baby!” I exclaim in surprise, “Is that for me?”

He smiles, and he’s no longer aged by seven years. “I couldn’t come home to my girl empty-handed now, could I? How are you feeling?” He sets the flowers down on the bed, along with the card, and gathers me into a gentle hug, kissing me on the cheek.

“Babe,” I argue, “Don’t, you’ll get sick.”

“And get to take time off to spend with the most beautiful person in the world? Sounds great to me.” He grins when I roll my eyes, then asks, “Did you stay in bed all day?”

I nod. “Yea, I felt pretty shitty. No throwing up aside from the one time, though. Oh! And guess what? According to Sasha’s mom, somebody’s pregnant. The fish in her dreams told her so.”

He meets my eyes with a knowing look, his smile ever-present. “I am taking this so seriously right now, I swear. And who did we hear this fish dream news from?”

“Connie, who dared to wake me from my slumber.” I sigh, sitting up in the bed so I can be on eye-level with Jean.

Jean says, “I see, I see. Sounds like indisputable fact, if you ask me.”

“No, babe. We’re asking the dream fish.”

He laughs, and I laugh with him. “Okay, enough bullying people for being superstitious. You need some water, and soft foods. You probably haven’t eaten all day, have you?” I shake my head no. Jean says, “Well, I’m not Chef Niccolo, but I can make something pretty saucy. I’ll see what I can manage.”

“Do we have…” I start, but trail off, realizing it was a stupid question. Of course we wouldn’t have Kraft mac and cheese. “Nevermind.” I say with a smile at Jean as he looks at me inquisitively.

Fifteen minutes later, he brings me a bowl of noodles with shredded chicken in it. “Is this alright?” He asks me, and I can see he genuinely is worried I won’t like it.

I smile gratefully at him. “Of course, thank you baby. You don’t have to worry about me, the nausea seems to be the worst of it.” I feel a twinge in my stomach looking at the food, but I know it’s just me being finicky because I’m sick. I have to eat something if I want to get better.

He pats my back. “All right, I’m gonna hop in the shower. The door’s unlocked if you need anything, as per usual.” He kisses my forehead, then leaves me to handle business.

When he’s out of sight, I stare at my food like it’s insulting me. My stomach feels like it’s doing flips, and I would rather go back to sleep, but I know if I don’t eat anything, Jean will freak. His mom used to get sick all the time — bad immune system — so now, after everything I’ve been through, he watches over me like a mother hen.

And what is it that I’ve been through? Well… a miscarriage. And an eating disorder. It was for the better that the miscarriage happened, because neither of us were ready for a kid, but it was grueling. I only found out I was pregnant because of the miscarriage, and it left me even more physically and emotionally drained than I already had been for the month before. It explained the nausea, and the inability to eat most foods, but after the miscarriage, I continued being unable to eat. I lost a lot of weight, and when I finally went to the doctor’s office, they recommended I start eating protein bars to regain what I’d lost. I did, and I haven’t lost the weight again since then, but Jean fusses over me, because he knows my eating disorder is a daily battle, not one that just goes away. I tell him not to worry, that as long as I’m keeping my current weight then we have nothing to worry about, but it’s like talking to a brick wall. Or, for accuracy’s sake, it’s like talking to a magical brick wall that finds the most anxiety-inducing message in all of your words and echoes that back to you.

The miscarriage and the events after it happened years ago, but I remember it like yesterday, and so does Jean. Every now and then, we whisper to each other at night, talking about what might have happened if I hadn’t miscarried.

I don’t know why I’m thinking about all of this right now. Maybe it’s because the nausea I’m feeling now reminds me of back then. I shake my head, clearing my thoughts, then mentally prepare myself to take a bite of food. I stab the fork into my noodles and twist, twist, twist, until I have a reasonable lump of noodles around my fork, ready to be eaten. I lift it up into my mouth, and when I smell the noodles… it’s over.

I throw my fork down, quickly setting my bowl down on the nightstand and run to the bathroom faster than the speed of light. I nearly slam the door open, and start puking as soon as the toilet seat and lid are propped up. I hear Jean pull back the shower curtain as I heave, splatters of liquid and mush landing in the toilet. The room is already steamed up – he loves hot showers. We both do, to be fair. “Babe? Are you okay?” He asks me, and it takes literally everything in me to not snap at him and say that I’m obviously not okay.

I give him a thumbs up. “I don’t know why, but just smelling the food made me nauseous. What was the expiration date on the canned chicken?”

As water trickles down his bare chest, sculpted abs dividing my attention, Jean says, “I just bought that on Saturday. No way it’s expired. If you can’t eat, why don’t you try taking a shower? You’ve been in sick clothes all day.” I put the lid down and flush the toilet, slowly nodding as I stand up. I strip down, joining him in the spray as he holds his hand out for me to take. Always the gentleman. I’m sandwiched between him and the warm water, and I sigh, feeling some relief for once. He slides his hands around my waist, kissing my cheek and leaning his head against mine, sighing with me. “I’m sorry you’re so sick, baby.”

I turn around to face him, the water hitting my backside as I wrap my arms around his neck, looking up at him. “It’s okay. It’s not your fault.” I get up on my tip-toes to kiss him, and where nausea once was in my stomach, a fire suddenly rages – a fire of want, of desperate need. I close my eyes, deepening the kiss and pressing my body against his. “Baby.” I pant out, reaching down for his member as I feel the slick growing between my thighs.

He grunts, stopping the kiss and holding my arms, stepping away. “Not right now, y/n. You’re sick. It would just make you worse. Let’s wait until you’re feeling better, yea?” I hadn’t actually touched him yet, but I can already see that he’s clearly aroused.

I frown to myself. I’m disappointed, but he’s right. “Yea, right. Sorry.” I don’t know what came over me in that moment, but right now, I feel riled up for no apparent reason. What is happening to me?

We finish our shower, and he grabs out the silkiest pair of pajamas for me, helping me dry off and put them on before helping me into bed, and I note he removed the offending food from the area. I don’t know how I managed to meet someone as kind as him. “Hey,” He asks me, “Weren’t you supposed to start your period a few days ago?”

I think to myself, then nod in confirmation. “I think I was. No big deal, though. I’d probably be miserable if I had to deal with that and this at the same time.” He looks deep in thought. “What is it?” I ask him.

He shakes his head. “I’m just worried about you, is all. Why don’t you get some sleep and I’ll run to the store to get some hot cocoa for you to try?” Hot cocoa sounds delicious right now, I’ll give him that. It’s not usually something I crave, but maybe some sugar is just the thing I need after all of this bullshit.

I smile, then lay back in bed. “Okay, baby. See you then.”

When I wake up, it’s to Jean sitting at my feet, holding some kind of stick in his hand, eyes wide in shock, jaw completely slack. I look to my right and spot two mugs of cocoa sitting on my nightstand, one half-drunk. “Baby? What is it?” I ask him, unable to push myself up.

“I… I… I didn’t think… I only had an inkling of a hunch as to what it might be, but…” He stammers, more to himself than to me.

I sigh forcefully. “Jean. Baby. What is it?”

“Baby.” He says.

“Yes, I’m listening, Jean,” I reply, a bit annoyed that he isn’t listening. It’s not like him. “What is it?” I ask again, with more emphasis.

“A baby.” He says, and when he lifts up his hand to show me, I realize he’s holding not one, not two, but three pregnancy tests. And they all are positive. “You forgot to flush the toilet when you peed after getting out of the shower.”

Now, my face matches his. “What???” I say, suddenly jolting up into a sitting position, but not without a wave of nausea rolling over me. “I… what are we gonna do?” I say, panic setting in.

Jean answers, “We’re gonna do what you want to do, of course.” He leans over, setting the tests down on my nightstand and grabbing my hand, squeezing it. “If you don’t feel ready…”

“I–” I cut myself off when I feel my lip wobble. Tears suddenly well up in my eyes, and I fight the urge to let them loose. “Jean, I can’t.” I see the disappointment in his eyes, and I start to cry. “I can’t lose another one, Jean, I can’t. Please.”

He pauses, taken aback, but quickly hugs me to comfort me. “Oh, y/n, don’t cry, don’t cry. I’m an idiot, I thought you were saying ‘I can’t’ as in, you couldn’t keep it, I’m an idiot, ignore my initial reaction.”

I sniffle and wipe my eyes. “Wait…” I ask, “You mean you would rather me keep it?”

Jean laughs, and I almost puke from the vibrations alone, but I don’t care right now. “Yes, yes, I absolutely would rather you keep it, but I’ll support you either way.”

I start crying even more. “Oh, thank God, thank God, I thought…”

Jean pulls back slightly, but only to place kiss upon kiss all over my face. He pauses, looking me in the eye. “Put that thought away. It doesn’t have any place here.” He then places his arm behind my back, laying me back down on the bed. He starts unbuttoning my pajama top, just a few buttons from the waist up. He kisses my stomach, right below my belly button. “Hey, baby.” He whispers against my abdomen, and I lightly push him away with my arms.

“Baby. As cute as that is, please don’t. The vibrations make me nauseous.” I smile tiredly, but beckon him to lay next to me. He happily joins me, throwing an arm over my stomach and sliding under the covers.

Quietly, he says, “How does the cocoa smell?”

“Good.” I whisper.

He chuckles. “My mom said she liked that when she was pregnant with me.”

Sassily, I say, “Oh, so the baby has your taste, does he?”

And he says, “Possibly. Is it selfish of me to want them to be a girl? I’d love to have two of you around here. Plus, then Connie won’t try to make me name them after him in honor of him being the first one to share the news of your pregnancy.”

I roll my eyes. “Right, the fish gods.”

“I thought they were dream fish?”

“Same shit.” I scoff. “Can we just… never tell him?”

Jean hums. “Mmm… unfortunately, that might be a little suspect. We have to tell my mom first, anyways. Gramas always have seniority. Want me to wait a bit?”

I respond, “Maybe for a week, that way you can say I got you sick and you can’t go into work.”

Jean groans. “Babe, how are you so hot, so smart, and so pregnant with my kid, all at once? I feel so lucky right now.” He kisses my collar bone, laying back beside me like I’ve knocked him out with my grand idea.

I laugh, hand resting on my stomach. “You’re an idiot, Jean.”

“Just a fool in love,” He says, “Thinking about cashmere blankets and cedarwood cradles.”

#outsider writes #fanfiction #fanfic #attack on titan #AOT #Jean Kierstein #jean kierstein x reader #pregnant!reader #TW!pregnancy #TW!miscarriage #TW!EDmention #fluff #TW!puking #slight angst #near-smutty moment

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