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featherandferns · 1 year

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angel (fic)

jj maybank x fem!shy!kook!reader | technically the sequel for fascinating new thing, but can be read as a stand-alone too

content warning: pure filth, to be honest; sex (f and m self-pleasure; protected, p in v)

word count: 3k

blurb: jj knows there's something hidden beneath all the layers of quiet and meek; he just has to coax it out of you.

Nobody expected JJ Maybank to end-up having a thing for you, including JJ himself. He couldn’t explain how it happened, or when exactly, but it went from him being somewhat wary of you to completely desperate to have your gaze on him. It seemed that one day you just had him: hook, line and sinker. JJ had sort of accepted that he didn’t have a chance, especially with a certain ginger haired boy lingering in the background. He’d admire from afar and settle for friendship if that’s all you could offer him. But then you kissed him, and everything seemed to fall into place. JJ was allowed privy to your thoughts and the different facets of yourself: watching you song write and waking you from a nightmare and indulging in the late-night baking. He liked every part of it. Everything that was you.

Well, almost everything.

“You can’t seriously enjoy this crap?”

“Be quiet, please,” you mumble.

JJ rolls his eyes. He has one arm under his head, propping it up so he can see the screen of your laptop, and the other on your stomach, resting atop your tee shirt. He’s spooning you, cosy under the sheets of your bed.

It’s the second time he’s been in your bedroom. It’s a nice room; perfectly encapsulates you. Vinyl records and CDs and a million and one potted plants and succulents. Fairly lights draped above your bed and around a pinboard of pictures and keepsakes, shining a delicate golden hue on your belongings. An acoustic guitar rests against the wall by your bedroom door. It’s wide open right now. No need to have it shut; your parents aren’t home.

Looking back to the screen, JJ tries and fails to hold in a sigh.

“Can you be quiet, please?” you repeat.

“Who is that? The guy?”

“George the third.”

“The third? Is that the one that murdered all his wives?”

“JJ, I can’t hear it,” you complain quietly.

“Sorry,” he mumbles. He barely pays attention to the drama on the screen, too busy foraging through his brains for the history of English royals. “Is he though?”

You sigh, annoyed. “No. That’s Henry the Eighth. And he didn’t murder all of them. Just two.”

“Oh, well, that’s okay then,” JJ sarcastically replies.

For some reason, he feels as though you’ve rolled your eyes. He attempts to watch the show that you’ve become obsessed with lately. The characters don’t talk like normal people. Everything is so flowery and over-the-top that he hardly understands what they’re talking about. It’s boring and dull and overdramatic. He lets his mind wander.

“Baby?”

“JJ?”

“Just a quick question.”

“Yes?” you sigh, patience clearly dwindling.

“Is George the Third the one that got really fat?”

“No, that’s George the fourth,” you say.

“Which one’s George the third then?”

“George the third is the one that was ruler when America won its independence. I mean, do you listen to anything in history?” you chuckle. JJ feels the muscles in your belly tighten and loosen as you do.

“Sometimes,” he shrugs. “When it’s interesting. Like, I don’t get how all of this—”

“Shush! I can’t hear what they’re saying!” you snap.

JJ can’t help but snigger. He likes when you lose your temper with him; let the good-girl side of you slip for a moment to put him in his place.

He nuzzles his face into your hair. It smells like cedarwood and salt water. Maybe he’ll just have a nap. You’re not coming away from the show anytime soon – not until the episode’s done, anyway. JJ closes his eyes and vaguely tunes into the droning of dialogue. Lady this and sire that. He’s just about to properly drift off (maybe it’s been five minutes or so) when he’s woken by the feel of you pushing back against his groin. His hold tightens on your stomach and he reluctantly inches his body away slightly.

“Baby don’t do that,” he mumbles sleepily into your hair.

“Do what?” you reply, absentmindedly.

You’re still watching the Goddamn show. He’s not sure if you’re playing dumb or not.

Then, you do it again.

JJ inhales sharply. “Stop doing that.”

“Doing what?”

“Rubbing up on me like that,” he tells you, half-laughing. “S’not fair.”

“Sorry,” you mumble.

He opens his eyes and looks down at the laptop screen. The moment he makes out what’s happening in the show, it clicks. Oh.

Smirking, JJ can’t keep from taking the piss.

“You didn’t tell me that you’re into regency era porn.”

“Shut up,” you reply all too quickly.

“Is it like all royal era stuff or just Henry the third things?”

“George the third!”

“Tomata-tomato,” JJ mutters. Quiet. Then: “Does it have to be in a bathtub or…”

“JJ!” you whine, embarrassed. He laughs into your hair. “Stop it!”

“Alright, alright! I’m just messing around,” he sniggers.

You don’t reply, don’t even seem to be listening to him, with your eyes shamelessly fixated on the screen. JJ starts to watch too, half-curious as to what has you so entranced.

The lighting is dark. Who JJ has finally come to grasp as king George the third is fucking his wife in the bath. She’s riding him, grinding down on him, still in her dress. The music swells with sharp, dramatic violins. This time, when you push back reflexively against JJ, he doesn’t complain. Instead, he uses his hand that’s placed on your stomach to keep you there. He’s only half ashamed to admit that he’s turned on by the regency-era-sex-scene from your corny, cheesy TV show.

Half hard, he rubs against you, sighing into your hair as he does. You don’t shake him off. Instead, you push back against him.

And then, the scene stops. It’s daylight. Cutting to a scene in a conservatory.

JJ shifts his hand so it’s under your tee shirt, moving to stroke at the skin. He feels your stomach constrict underneath his touch, as if you’re holding your breath, and then relax. He places a kiss to your neck, then another, and begins to work on a hickey. You let out a shaking breath, eyes only half-focused on the show, now. One of your hands comes down to lay atop of his, though not in discouragement. JJ can’t help but rut against you again. In the haze of kissing at your throat, he finds himself wishing a silent prayer that you won’t pull away this time.

He doesn’t mind waiting. Really, he doesn’t. He’d probably wait forever for you (if he really had to). He knows how nervous you get; knows all of this is new to you. Understands. Doesn’t want you to feel pressured. But, God, JJ would be lying if he said that he didn’t want to fuck you. That he didn’t jack off almost every night to the thought of it. That seeing you, drenched head to toe, stood in nothing but a bikini after surfing didn’t have him shifting in his seat. That having you pressing up against him like you had been tonight didn’t make his mind shoot off to the darkest, dirtiest places. So, yes, he’ll stop if you ask, but he’s praying, borderline close to begging, that you don’t.

Your fingers loop into his hair, pulling him off your neck. He shifts enough back so you can turn your head, meeting his eyes. Your breathing heavier than usual, lips wet as if you’ve been licking at them. Your eyes are dancing over his face, back to his eyes, glancing at his lips. JJ’s hand on your stomach continues scratching softly at your skin. He gently rubs himself against you. Please.

“I’ve never done this before,” you whisper. There’s a tinge of nerves to your voice.

JJ nods. Swallows. “I know.”

“But…I want to,” you quietly say. A smile teasing at the corner of your lips as you nod. “If you do, that is.”

JJ leans down so his forehead bumps against yours. He exhales a chuckle against your lips. “It’s all I’ve been able to think about since the hammock.”

You giggle, perhaps a little stunned at the confession, and then your lips are on his.

JJ’s rolling onto his back, sighing into the kiss, pulling you atop of him. His hand that was under his head now reaches out to close the laptop, shoving it to the foot of the bed (hopefully where it won’t fall off). Then he’s kissing you with newfound hunger. Tongue slipping into your mouth lewdly, brushing against yours, swallowing your sighs and breaths. Whenever you break apart, it’s for less than a moment. Your hands have come up to cradle his face, fingers splayed across his cheek and jaw. One of his resides on your waist, squeezing at the skin, and his other has fallen onto your bare thigh; the pyjama shorts you’re wearing having ridden up.

When you lean back against him, rolling down on his crotch, JJ groans against your lips. The gasp you let out is small, startled, as you feel him, hard against you.

“We don’t have to,” JJ reminds you, though the id in him is crying out yes, we do. Please.

You shake your head, hands still on his face. “I want to.”

Thank fucking God.

As the two of begin to kiss again, JJ lets his hand creep up your stomach. His fingers gently trace up the soft skin. He feels the ripples of your breaths as he goes; they’re uneven. Bringing his hand up to your chest, cupping at the bare skin, you sigh against him. He begins to tenderly palm at your breast, running a finger back and forth over your nipple, grinning to himself as he feels it harden at his touch.

You’re grinding back on him now, making him uncomfortably hard under his boxers, sensitive as he rubs against the fabric. JJ opens his eyes to look up at you, your kiss naturally breaking as you begin to breath more and more heavy. Frowns as he sees you dig your teeth into your lower lip. He lifts his hand from off your thigh to bring his thumb to your lips, tugging it free.

“I wanna hear you,” JJ mumbles, tone only slightly demanding.

You open your eyes. They’re angel-like; innocent and shining under the fairy-light glow. Then, you do something that has him twitching, horny past the point of no return. You take his thumb into your mouth and suckle at his finger. JJ groans at the sight. Jesus Christ. Something in you seems to shine through and take control. You don’t say anything as you hold his hand in both of yours, guiding his thumb out your mouth only to begin sucking on his pointer finger. Your eyes slip shut as you do, as if you’re getting off on doing so, and you sigh out a quiet moan. JJ feels himself begin to smirk, taken aback somewhat. Okay…

Pulling his finger from out of your mouth tentatively, he lets his thumb pinch at your chin. The dampness of your spit streaks onto your skin, if only slightly. JJ suddenly knows what his new favourite thought of you is. Your chest is rising and falling, lips parted, cheeks warm as if there’s a part of you longing to be embarrassed. But you’re not. Not shying away from him, at least. JJ’s hands find the hem of your shirt and coax it over your head. As he goes, he guides you to lie down on your back – head at the foot of the bed – and crawls on top of you. One of your feet hesitantly rubs at the back of his calve. Then your fingers are tugging at the bottom of his top and he leans back to take it off. Easing back down to kiss at your chest, he can’t help but sigh against the sensitive skin.

“You’re so fucking beautiful.”

Your nails dig into the skin of his back. You don’t reply, but he feels as though you’re shaking your head. Glancing up, he frowns.

“You are,” he repeats.

“Can you not say things like that to me right now…” you mumble, retreating back into yourself.

JJ sighs, somewhat disappointed.

“Sorry,” you add. It makes JJ chuckle, his breath fanning against your chest.

“You don’t gotta be sorry, baby,” he replies, moving to kiss at one of your nipples. One of your hands creeps up to his face, fingers slipping into his hair. A small gasping exhale at the sensation. “Just wish you saw yourself the way I see you, sometimes.”

You’re sighing at the attention he’s giving your body. His hand comes up to grope at your neglected breast. More gasps, more breaths. You’re still so quiet. JJ knows it’s in there, could see it trying to break out when you were sucking on his fingers, he just has to coax it out of you.

Leaning back (a string of spit following), JJ sits back on his haunches and takes you in. Wonders what to do with you, as if you’re fully at his mercy. You’re looking at him, watching him. Laid out on your back, near bare and gorgeous, breathing heavy. You're half covering your chest, not used to being so exposed before someone.

Maybe he’ll just fuck you now. JJ's barely holding it together as it is. No, you’ll be too tight if he does. He has to remind himself that this is new to you. He wants it to be worth it. Wants it to be perfect. Not only that, but he also wants you to appreciate yourself and your body the way he does. Words clearly aren’t gonna cut it; you go squeamish at the faintest of compliments. But maybe…

JJ feels the shadow of a smirk grow on his face with an idea. Makes your lips twitch with a frown, as if confused where his mind might be. The he’s reaching for your spare hand that’s found purchase in the bed sheets. Taking it by the wrist, he guides it over your body, down to your shorts. Your eyes dart up from following it, meeting his eyes. Your lips move as if to say something, but you don’t. So quiet.

“I got an idea,” JJ tells you. He’s so hard it hurts, but he can’t pass up on this opportunity.

Your gaze doesn’t break apart from JJ’s as you let him guide your hand with his under the hem of your shorts. He manoeuvres your fingers easily (you pliant like a doll) and slides it through your folds. You’re soaking. The feel of it makes you gasp. Leaning down, using his other arm to prop himself above you, he guides your conjoined touch back and forth, skimming over your clit. The brief, fleeting touch makes you moan.

JJ smirks. There it is.

“Feel good, huh?” he breaths against your ear, teasingly. You don’t reply but he feels your hand gain more control, working to finger yourself. JJ chuckles. “Knew you were dirty underneath all the good-girl shit you put on.”

It seems that whatever strap was holding you together has snapped. Your honeyed voice is crying out, in moans and whines. Eyes shut, head tilted back, and JJ basks in the sight of you. He gradually lets his hand leave yours, slipping out of your shorts, and watches as you continue getting yourself off underneath your shorts. Chews on the inside of his cheek as he does, bucking against your leg desperately. He can’t help but pull himself out of his boxers, jacking off at the sight. At your sweet, hopeless sounds. Your spare hand is coming to his throat, pulling at his jaw, guiding his lips to yours in a lustful, messy kiss. You’re moaning into his mouth, gasping, voice high and desperate.

“Good girl,” JJ croons. It spurs you on. He’s smirking again, gasping through his own pleasure. Fuck. You’re perfect. How are you so Goddamn perfect?

“You close, baby? You gonna come?”

Your reply comes in a stammered, broken gasp. Yes.

JJ forces his hand from himself, quickly moving to grab at your wrist, pulling your fingers away. They’re drenched. You whine at the loss of contact, so close to the edge it seems, and he chuckles darkly against your jawline.

“Not yet,” he simply says.

As JJ moves to take off your shorts, shucking off his boxers in this process, he catches a glimpse of your hand moving back up your body. His eyes flick up just in time to see you slip your used fingers into your mouth, sucking them clean. Fuck. How JJ doesn’t come on the spot is beyond him. You open your eyes, catching his gaze, and meekly pull them from your mouth. Before you can form the inevitable apology you’re bound to give, JJ’s darting down to capture your mouth in a kiss. Then, he’s climbing atop of you, rubbing at your entrance. Has the both of you gasping against one another.

“Wait,” you mumble, pulling back. “We need a condom.”

“Shit, yeah,” JJ pants. He’d forgotten about that. You point vaguely to your bedside table.

“There should be one in there. Somewhere.”

JJ chuckles slightly and nods, leaning back to riffle through. He can’t help but notice the vibrator, making a mental note of that for another day. Finding one, he’s coming back to you, sliding it on, desperate to be inside of you.

Pressing his forehead against yours, he keeps his eyes on you.

“Tell me if you need me to stop, okay?”

“I will,” you quietly reply, a hand coming up to cup at his jaw.

JJ nods and begins to slide in. His eyes reflexively shut; he can’t help it. It feels fucking amazing. Sex with feelings is better than any kegger hook-up he’s ever had.

But you’re tight, too tight, and it’s like your body is trying to push him out. Opening his eyes, he looks down to see your face twisted in pain, lips pursed and eyes squeezed shut.

“Hey, hey,” he mumbles, thumbing at your cheek. You force your eyes open, gazing up at him. “You gotta relax, alright? Just breath out for me.”

You take a moment then do as he asks. He feels your body soften. Nudging a bit further in, you actively try not to go tight again.

“It’s just me,” he reminds you. “You’re doing so good, alright?”

To keep you lax, he rubs gently at your clit. Eventually, your body opens up to him. Once JJ’s eased all the way in, you’re squeezing him like a vice.

“You can move, JayJ,” you say, almost anxious that he isn’t.

JJ laughs a little. He won’t last a second if he moves right now. Closing his eyes, composing himself, he replies, “I really can’t. Gimme a second.”

Soon enough, the two of you sink into a rhythm. JJ places a hand one side of your head, another on your hip, angling you up slightly. Your back begins to arch and you’re moaning again, and JJ decides that it’s the best sound he’s ever heard. Prettier than when you sing. The sounds echoing off the bedroom walls are filthy enough to make Satan himself blush.

"Fuck baby. Feel so fucking good."

Groaning against your shoulder, moaning into your ear, JJ feels his resolve begin to break. He’s close. The way your body is reacting to him has him thinking you are too. His hand leaves your hip to rub at your clit. Quick, firm circles. You start to gasp, high pitched and euphoric, and JJ know he can’t last much longer. It’s too good.

The moment you finish, JJ lets go. The two of you come almost together, riding it out, clinging to each other as if you’ll float away if not. JJ eventually let’s himself collapse on top of you, breathing shallow and frantic. You’re still clenching around him, body dealing with the aftershocks.

JJ’s not sure how he’s supposed to go about the rest of his life knowing what it’s like to have you in bed. How he’s meant to get anything done with the memory of how you sound, gasping out his name. The picture stained in his mind of you sucking your fingers clean.

He presses a kiss to your damp neck, then another and another until he somehow finds your mouth. You sigh as you kiss him back, a hand coming to cradle at his face yet again. He pulls back, opens his eyes into yours, and you give him the sweetest smile he’s ever seen. Bashful and blissed out and beautiful.

“I love you,” you tell him, still a little breathless.

JJ smiles back. Heart stammers.

You wanted him. You picked him.

Kissing you once more, tender and fleeting, JJ sighs. “I love you too.”

#jj #jj maybank #jj x reader #jj maybank x reader #jj x reader smut #jj maybank x reader smut #jj smut #jj maybank smut #jj x shy!reader #jj maybank x shy!reader #jj x kook!reader #jj maybank x kook!reader #outer banks #outerbanks #outer banks fic #outerbanks fic #obx #obx fic

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mixiury · 2 months

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Sunlight knocking outside of your window.

Character(s): Wanderer x GN Reader

Warning(s): Depressive thoughts and in general signs of depression.

Summary: When days seems meaningless, someone is there for you. (OR how he helps you during a depressive episode)

A/N: I wrote this as a comfort for myself a year ago or so. I never meant to publish it but, now that I am in a better place, I thought that it may help anyone who is going through the same, so here it is <3 Requests are open btw!

Shivers run through your body despite being covered in sheets and blankets. Everything is so cold, the type that numbs out your senses until all you can feel is the freezing sensation taking your body. Just the idea of getting out of the bed is unimaginable, too tired to even move from your position.

All corners in the room sumerge you in their darkness, as if waiting to consume you whole. You don't resist it. There is just not point on it. Instead you close your eyes and let it drive, taking you whatever it wishes. Maybe if you pray hard enough you will be somewhere else. A unreachable place where pain can't find you, far away from your own mind.

Just five more minutes of sleep never hurt anybody, and sometimes resigning is far better than keep fighting an endless war, but when you open your eyes you are still in your room. Motionless. Fixed to the same thoughts that never seem to leave.

Some days are harder than others, they say, but in reality, they are not. They are incredibly easy, and that somehow makes it worse. You have no right to pity yourself when all you do is eat and sleep for hours, if not days, while other people works so hard to get half of what you have. It's shameful, really, but you can't force yourself to care enough to do something about it.

You try not to focus too much in your surroundings, intentionally ignoring all the clothes and papers around your bed. They are in the floor too, memorizing exactly the place of everything just so you don't step on them. It has be getting harder as more and more trash gather around, but everytime you set your mind in cleaning something comes out. You just don't have time for it, you often tell yourself. Maybe, if you say it enough times, one day you will believe it.

Actually, what time is it? The urge to check your phone suddenly overcomes you, although quickly give up on it when you realize it is completely dead. It doesn't even matter, you think. Days are all the same anyways, your shrug it off. You don't even remember the last time you did anything outside of roting in your room. Your memory has gotten worse, or maybe it has gotten better because, when you have nothing to do, everything is a little reminder of it.

How you wish you could just sleep this uncomfortable feeling crawling off your chest as worms eating your flesh, yet, despite how tired you are, your body stubbornly refuse to shut itself off once again. It must have gotten tired of that too, you just hoped it would do the same with you. But as much you would like that to happen, all you can do is stare at the ceiling. In a weird, incomprehensible way, It stares back.

It's impossible to know how long you stay like that, it could have been hours just as it could have been minutes, but what brings you back to reality is a knock on your door, the numbness suddenly replaced with annoyance as you slowly realize it won't stop anytime soon. The person outside of your room must know how stubborn you can be, because at some point they just stop knocking and abruptly break in. Rude. Maybe you should be scared that someone was able to get inside your house that easily, but instead you only burry yourself in your blankets, the light from the outside dazzling you.

Doesn't take you to see his face or hear his voice to know who is the intruder, although the recognition doesn't make it any better nor your annoyance any less.

"How do you even walk in here?"

"Good morning for you too."

"It's 5 pm. In what world is that morning?"

"In mine."

"And in it is this good too?"

"Definitely not after you burst through my door."

You hope that he would finally get the message, turn around and leave you alone, but all he does is huff and start gathering things off the floor, matching your own stubbornness. Although irritating, you know better that try to kick him out, already familiar with this routine between the two of you everytime you or him fall into these "episodes", coming unwelcome to the other's place just to check if they are still alive, most of the time after a week or two of not news or signs of life.

It is an unsaid agreement that you both did when opening to each other for the first time, something you sometimes are grateful of and others regret it, specially when he is the one breaking in and not the other way around. You wonder if he feels the same, but either way, none of you ever talk about it.

"Don't move anything, you are just going to make it worse."

"Stop whining and be grateful I'm doing this in the first place. Your whole room is already a mess, there is literally no way to make it worse."

Your mind screams to tell him how you know the place of every single thing on the floor and how he is just desorginizing your whole complex system you carefully created, but that would just start an argument about how stupid that is and you just don't have the energy for it right now. Yet, with the blankets on top of you to still cover the light, you decide to throw him a dirty petty look, one which once again is matched by him at first and later ignored.

Finally, you give up, fully using the blankets as a shelter and burying yourself in them like before.

Speak feels too much, listen feels too much, eat feels too much, get up feels too much, sleep feels too much, exist feels too much. You can't even continue staring at the ceiling because that would mean uncover your eyes completely and the lights are also too much for your eyes. All you wish is for Wanderer to give up on you just like you gave up in yourself, maybe if he did you wouldn't feel as a burden anymore. Maybe you would finally stop caring at all. But when has Wanderer ever listened to someone besides himself? Just like talking to a rock, or in this case, puppet.

"Stop overthinking. Self pity won't take you anywhere."

His voice guides you out of your thoughts, but not out of the all consuming emptiness and loneliness that usually fallows with them. He knows it all well, the feeling of just wanting to dissapear out of thin air to never be remembered nor found. That should be comforting, yet it isn't. Understanding does nothing against it, pity makes it worse, and help is terrifying, no matter from who it comes.

"All I want is to go back to sleep." Half a truth. You don't need to finish that sentence for him to get it.

"When was the last time you ate anything?"

What were you supposed to answer to that? You don't even know what day is it. It could have been just some hours just as it could have been days. Last time you checked your fridge there was nothing left to eat so you just went back to the bed and haven't bothered of eating anything ever since. You should have ordered something, anything, but you must stink after so many time without showering and you just didn't want to interact with anyone like that.

"Time is relative."

You try to hide it but embarrassment crawl out of your body as the realization kicks in, hands instinctively reaching for your pillow and using it to cover yourself with that too. If seeing your room was bad this was ten times worse. You haven't noticed until now, but your hair is greasy and your clothes sweaty, sticking to your skin in a very uncomfortable way. Although your nose can't catch it, it would be surprising if you don't smell too, for once grateful that your friend doesn't exactly have a human body to notice that.

Now, besides feeling completely useless, you also feel self conscious, isn't this so great?

He sighs and you are so sure he is going to leave. It is weird, all this time everything wanted is for him to get out as soon as possible, but now that feels so degrading, not that you would blame him if he does.

"I'll cook something but first I need you to get out of the bed."

Of course. You almost forgot this is Wanderer.

"I don't want to get up."

He stares at you. You stare back harder. All those stare competitions with the ceiling will have to paid off somehow.

Both of you stay like that until he finally resigns for the first time today, going back to clean around. It is surprising how he did so much in about an hour, actually being able to see the floor now. You will just blame his anemo vision for it, because the alternative is that you are just useless at literally picking stuff from the floor and you aren't really fan of that conclusion.

You must have spaced out because the next thing you feel is the weight of the bed suddenly shifting, Wanderer getting on it too as he ignores all the stuff on top of it. Your mind begs you to push him away, but your body moves a little to the edge, giving him the space to actually fit. Maybe any other day you two would fall into a teasing exchange, mocking each other and trying to get under the skin of the other only to forget how the conversation started in the first place. However, as familiar you are with those conversations, it just doesn't feel right anymore. Not right now.

"Here is what we are going to do; We stay in bed for 15 minutes more, after that we stand up and you go and take a shower while I cook you something. When we are done we can watch a movie, play something or hang out outside, what do you say?"

"Make it twelve minutes, let me pick the movie AND the games. You have terrible taste."

"Fine, but then you agree to open the windows because this place looks like a fucking cave. Also, I refuse to play Animal Crossing."

"Animal Crossing is way better than any other game you play."

"My choice is final. We can still play that stupid cult game where you are a goat or something."

"Is a lamb."

"Whatever, we have a deal?"

"Do I even have any other choice?"

Wanderer smiles slightly, greedy and proud, while you reluctantly accept your final defeat for today. The only difference is that, this time, you don't feel as alone as before, forming a smile of your own too. Maybe a little of light isn't so bad after all.

#genshin impact x reader #genshin x reader #wanderer x reader #scaramouche x reader #pure comfort #genshin impact x you #genshin impact #genshin x you #I just know he would love Cult of the Lamb #but he would deny it completely #The same with Animal Crossing tbh #Kind of inspired in my brother who does the same but by being ten times more annoying

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respectthepetty · 1 year

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as a major fan of your Thai BL list, I shall now ask about your Korean BLs! 🤩

I think I can actually trust you 😌😌

Anon Two, thanks for tag-teaming this with the previous Anon, so y'all could squeeze another list out of me. To recap, I've already given y'all:

Top GMMTV Actors

Top GMMTV Pairs

Top Five Taiwanese BLs

Top Ten Thai BLs

So what's one more? @lachikapercebe also asked for this list, but requested only my top five; however, since I already started the list without a specific target number from Anon Two, and Korea gives some of the best confessions in the genre mixed with color coding, I can't reduce the list now. It's too late for me to trim it. I am attached to each pick. They are my children, and I can't desert them, so . . .

Top Ten Korean BLs

Rising Star - Love Tractor

I don't trust Korean BLs. A majority are too short, so either the beginning is confusing or the ending is flat, but unless Love Tractor completely fumbles the second half (which it could because . . . Korea), this will be a yearly top and even possibly an overall top for its country and all BLs. It's that good to me. It's hitting all the normal K-drama notes while being oh-so-very-gay. And as a rural queer, it pleases my soul to see country life presented in such a kind and beautiful way.

#10 - Roommates of Poongduck 304

Mr. Petty Peter Jae Yoon independently earned a spot on this list. Ho Joon was a jerk and a true nemesis when the show began, but Jae Yoon started effing up Ho Joon's home life the more Ho Joon kept messing up his work life, so it was a beautiful tit-for-tat the first few episodes; then, Ho Joon lost focus and wanted a consensual workplace relationship. His father appreciating his new attitude and rejection of his ladies' man ways was a delight to witness since we all knew it was due to him falling in love with a man. And oh boy did he fall in love. That entire conversation of Jae Yoon saying it's impossible for two men to fall in love, only for Ho Joon to respond that it was impossible for him NOT to fall in love with Jae Yoon is a top tier confession for me.

#9 - Blueming

I have issues with Blueming solely due to its ending because I was just as pissed as Siwon was at Daun. Maybe even more so. All was going well; then, the end of episode nine pulled a Thai episode eleven, and DAUN TOLD HIS MOM TO PICK THE FILM! I understand men in love do dumb shit, but that was a bold choice, and a very, very, VERY wrong one. As the youths say, "that was not the move." However, the cinematography was delicious like their silhouettes with that bewitching blue backdrop and their first kiss was realistic. Pretty kisses are cool and all, but the awkwardness of desperately wanting someone yet not knowing how to physically perform is true to many people's experiences and should be spotlighted more.

#8 - Choco Milk Shake

I only trust two entities with poly: Thai director Jojo, and Korea's Strongberry, so the fact that Strongberry did not give me poly when it was so clearly laid out is the reason this show isn't in the top three. It had a supernatural plot, great characters who were all well cast, and a happy ending, so WHY NOT POLY? I don't care if the rest of the world is ready or not. I'M READY! We are getting a second season, so if I if get a kiss AND a vocal acknowledgement of Milk and Choco's love for each other when their love for Jung Woo was well established in season one, this will cement its place in my heart and on this list forever.

#7 - Light on Me

Sixteen episodes with most running about thirty minutes?! A love triangle where I could root for both love interests?! A straight boy who earned his spot at the queer table?! Light on Me had it all and then some! Looking at my various lists, it's clear I am not fond of high school dramas, yet I was seated twice a week to see how our neurodivergent baby boy, Tae Kyung, fared that week in his adventure through social norms and annoyances, like trying to help a fellow peer by giving him back the dildo he dropped in the hallway, but getting yelled at instead. I was not Team Shin Woo until that cellphone confession, and then all I could see was Shin Woo. I'm telling y'all, Korea understands how to confess its unwavering love. Gets me every time!

#6 - The New Employee

As the BL fandom continues to evolve and expand, we will get more BLs geared toward adults and workplace dramas, but hopefully, they take the approach that The New Employee (and Thailand's Step by Step) did and make the work environment part of the drama. Working adults, sadly, spend a majority of their time at work, so finding love at one's job seems reasonable, but if anyone has experienced coworkers breaking up, that shit can get rough, real quick. So having to navigate a relationship with someone you work with, especially someone of a higher authority position, ON TOP OF being queer can be stressful, and is something I want more BLs to explore. There are levels to being out, and for most queers, being out at the job is not a possibility, but finding love anywhere is always a possibility, particularly for our late 20-something virgins.

#5 - Semantic Error

The fact that this came out in 2022 is beyond my understanding only because it seems like I have appreciated it for at least five years. This has become a comfort watch when it first started as a "nothing else is on" watch. I have never cared so much about honorifics in my life as I did watching the slow transition of Sang Woo’s emotional walls crumbling under Jae Young’s affection through language. As much as I hated the idea of forced collaboration (aka group projects), seeing the way Jae Young squirmed his way into Sang Woo’s every waking thought and had him seeing red to the point that Sang Woo was saving screenshots of Jae Young’s Instagram posts was a delight and one of the major reasons I keep returning to it. But the layered confession about Sang Woo finding Jae Young, a man, attractive which lead to Jae Young's countdown kiss is, once again, the reason Korean BLs win in the confession department.

#4 - The Eighth Sense

I'm still really bothered by some of the discourse that came out of this show about how it was better than everything else ever because the comments were reductive about the BL genre, yet some of the comments resonated with elements I loved about the series, mainly its look at mental health and trauma. It was a beautiful show, but the message it carried throughout about depression being isolating and taking the light out of people's lives hit me in a way that if this was the Thai list, I would have left it off because it felt like a personal attack. Wanting someone to save you from yourself, but terrified to drag them down with you was not the plot I wanted, but was the story a lot of us needed to see. We also needed to witness someone actively going to therapy. Let's continue this trend!

#3 - Our Dating Sim

"Have you been well . . . without me?" - Put this on my tombstone because I died and came back to life from this utterance alone. Episode four was already killing me, but once Eddy snapped and allowed all his emotions to spill out in front of Ian, the show came for all my past lives and future ones too. Deceased. I wrote this about the show while it was airing, but no other show has done the leave-him-because-I-love-him plot as well as Our Dating Sim. This show nailed it then made a billboard to boast about it because it was perfection. Ian's reasons for leaving were valid, but the show really shined by allowing Eddy to voice his anger at being ghosted for seven years by his best friend and someone he loved. It even touched on the trust issues that stem from someone saying he loves you only to abandon you. Just know I have NOT been well since this ended.

#2 - To My Star 1 & 2

The first season was almost perfect. The cat/dog energy, the "If it's hard for you, I'll come to you" confession, and the budding kink of Ji Woo kissing a tiny bloody wound on Seo Joon all served in a quick nine episodes gave me everything I needed, so I thought this would be my #1 the second season two was announced, but understand the sequel hurt me. The foundation was great: everyone came back, it had more episodes, the episodes were longer, and the conflict always existed in the first series, so a last-minute twist wasn’t invented. Yet, every single episode hurt. Much like I Told Sunset About You, it was realistic to the point that I expected it to end with pain. If season two was its own show and not a sequel to one of my favorites, it would have ranked higher because it was beautiful, but knowing the magic the first series possessed, and having to be a bystander to all the angst for EVERY EPISODE WITH NO RELIEF was tough. But, somehow, here I am secretly hoping we get blessed with a third series. That’s the power of the Star.

#1 - Long Time No See

Small flex - I've been involved with an international queer film festival for over a decade. I've seen easily over 1,000 pieces of queer media including feature films, short films, and documentaries through the screening process, which only adds to my always growing personal watched list. Long Time No See was one of those films. It didn't make it into the festival because I think it was already available on a streaming platform (maybe?), but it was a top for me then, and it's still a top for me now. Is it a BL? Not really. Is it a show? No, it's more like a two-part movie. So why am I allowing it to reign at the top of this list? BECAUSE IT IS AMAZING! In 2017, we were still getting the bury your gays trope shoved down our throats, so a film about two assassins getting a happy ending was a miracle. I read comments from some who did not like the portrayal of "toxic love" but were probably fine with Mr. and Mrs. Smith beating each other with cooking utensils for all the world's children to see, so God forbid, the queers do anything like want to kill AND fuck each other. Niña, Pinta, and Santa María, LET THE GAYS DO CRIMES TOO! Oh, and it's Strongberry, so because of this film - In Strongberry I trust.

#top korean bls #long time no see #to my star #our dating sim #the eighth sense #semantic error #the new employee #light on me #choco milk shake #blueming #roommates of poongduck 304 #love tractor #korean bls #in strongberry we trust

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oneatlatime · 8 months

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Zuko Alone

I'm hoping for some Appa this episode. It's been too long since he's gotten any good sight gags.

Zuko is cosplaying Clint Eastwood. He's also back to being stupid pale this episode.

You know it's a good thing that Zuko's not in the Fire Nation anymore because he really would have sucked at being Fire Nation. Robbing pregnant women is probably kindergarden level stuff for them.

How is Zuko in such bad shape? Last time we saw him he had a cave full of spoils robbed from rich people. Did he not bother to pack at least some of that stuff? Actually, not thinking far enough ahead to pack would be pretty in character.

Oof that would rub me the wrong way. Not enough money for a meal, but sure, let's use totally edible eggs as ammo.

Where'd the egg go?

Who is the scarred up hat wearing vampire and what happened to the real Zuko? Imposter Zuko just elected to not be provoked into a fight. Real Zuko would already be setting things on fire.

Just a bunch of thugs. Yep. It's consistently awesome how many of the facets of war this show can cover.

Imposter Zuko and Song's horse bird just got kidnapped. Did not see that coming.

Zuko kind of has arm bandages like Sokka has this episode. Also love the character detail that the boy has scraped knees.

Is the kid's dad the same guy as the man at the store? Or maybe this is a one haircut town?

So the guy who was near to fainting off his horse bird this morning is now turning down freely offered food? Could Zuko please shelve his pride for five minutes? Kudos to the mom for accurately reading his distaste for charity and turning it into a request for aid though. Although covering for the boy's egg trick is worth at least a meal.

Tangent!

I don't get Zuko. How can he still have so much pride when he's wearing rags and starving himself to feed Song's horse bird? I'm quite shameless when it comes to accepting help and I've never, ever been able to understand the whole 'too proud to accept charity' mindset. I'm always up for some charity. I have enough manners to offer to do the dishes after, but if you're offering free food I'm eating it. And I've never been in a situation as desperate as Zuko's. So I don't get this.

ok tangent over.

Peak rich kid behaviour. I hope those nails aren't expensive otherwise Zuko doing work for food might end up with this family out of pocket.

Is the wood grain on this ladder an actual photograph of wood grain?

Zuko has more patience this episode than he had for all of season 1 combined. He's also never gone this long without yelling. Either proximity to young children activates Zuko's otherwise mostly slumbering decency, or to fit him into a Fistful of Dollars homage the writers had to make him out of character.

If I had been in this situation when I was a kid, if I had been a) this visibly bored, and b) this nosy around guests, I would have been given a hammer and a bag of nails in three seconds flat. Also, nice to see a Sokka face from Zuko.

I get that 'a man without a past' is a staple of the cowboy genre, but the boy's father bringing up the privacy of the past twice in like two minutes makes me think he's done stuff he doesn't want to talk about. Seems both the parents have read Zuko right though.

Finally! Some pretty! I have been suffering! This may be the first really good pretty all season!

Bad news for the Appa decor on my blog. He may have been supplanted in my affections.

Two things: first, Zuko is a carbon copy of his mom. Second, That is way too much forehead.

Having Zuko's mom introduce herself by talking about the lengths mothers will go to for their children is not giving me foreshadowing anxiety at all.

Azula's been a bitch since birth. Noted.

Sir, your eyebrows. Also, yeah, I wouldn't want to play with her either.

Yikes this is making my teeth itch and my skin crawl. Calling it now, she's rotten to the core.

Zuko and Azula's dad has some weak ass genes. BOTH of his children are carbon copies of their mom.

Also, I was not expecting Zuko's very stupid ponytail to be a pre-scar thing. It is much better with a full head of hair.

If I had spent my childhood hanging out with an untouchable princess who set things on my head on fire for fun whenever I involuntarily displayed emotion, I'd be gloomy and apathetic in self defense too.

Sokka in this episode in spirit, if not in person.

Seriously that's the same face three times over!

Um, no? If Iroh doesn't make it back from the front, doesn't his son become next in line to be Firelord?

Can you hear all the unspoken "father thinks that" and "father says that" in front of every one of Azula's opinions in this whole scene? I stand by my assertion that she's awful anyways, but she's also obviously drunk much too much of her dad's koolaid, if you know what I mean.

This kid is going to get into so much trouble one of these days. Provoking the soldiers, nagging the mysterious stranger with the mysterious past, and now taking his weapons? Kid's sweet but he really needs to learn when to stop pushing his luck.

Stabbing dead, dried wood sounds like a great way to utterly annihilate the edge on those. Hope Zuko packed a whetstone.

Where is this patience coming from? I don't understand and it's BUGGING me.

Hold on. Technical problems.

My very basic DVD player sometimes has difficulty with these disks. Whatever happened between the above two screenshots, I've missed it. So picking back up from the one on the right...

Either these soldiers are impressively cowardly (which, yeah) or Zuko's really been working on his death glare, because they've got him outnumbered and out-armoured and they still back off.

OH it's parallels! Zuko's cousin and the boy's older brother. Got it. Kind of a false parallel though. Grandson of the Firelord does not equal earth kingdom conscript.

Give the demonstrably impulsive and nosy child a knife. That'll work out just fine I'm sure. Pretty sad the kid glommed on to Zuko so quickly, but it's also yet another realistic representation of the consequences of war. This show's good.

*shudders* theatre kids.

She's tiny! Do you know how darkly humourous it is to watch a two foot tall baby spout her father's murderous nonsense? Once again, in this whole scene, not a word out of Azula's mouth is actually Azula's.

"What is wrong with that child?" Apart from budding homicidal and psychopathic tendencies? Her dad. Her dad is what's wrong with that child.

Their dad has no subtlety at all. And also no brain? You think a day after the firelord finds out one of his family died is the right time to very boorishly make a play for the crown with you daughter as a prop? Could you possibly come up with a better demonstration of why this guy shouldn't be in charge?

How did this asshole land such a nice wife?

Yep. Siding with the old firelord on this one.

Does flashback Zuko sleep in his day clothes? Because that's not ok.

I like that their mom sees straight through Azula's lying here. She knows her daughter.

In a move that should surprise no one, everything Zuko touches turns to shit, as usual.

It's the Mexico filter!

Absolute truth from Zuko in that monologue. He's got them pegged. Too bad it fell on deaf ears. It's Zuko's curse, that whenever he approaches being remotely reasonable, he happens to be surrounded by people who will react in such a way that Zuko learns to equate being reasonable with failure.

An earthbender. The bare feet should have clued me in.

Last season Zuko and Iroh laid waste to like ten of these guys. And Iroh didn't even have pants. So what gives? Is he that starved?

Ursa pulling a Mufasa.

Don't answer don't answer don't answer

And he does.

Zuko is so very good at completely misinterpreting the point.

So we can add thief to the list of things that make Azula awful. Also that delivery of "who's going to make me? Mom?" is chilling. Zuko's lost his only defender inside this atrocious family and she knows it, he knows it, hell the turtleducks probably know it.

His dying wish? You guys buying that?

Ozai. That's his name. I'd forgotten that.

So... something something dead firelord something something missing mom something something maybe Azula wasn't actually lying this time?

Final Thoughts

The title wasn't kidding. Let's rename the show 'Avatar: the Guy who's Really Bad at Capturing Him' while we're at it.

There is now no way whatsoever that Zuko is not going to be redeemed. No writing team would invest that much energy and a whole episode into a character we're not ultimately supposed to root for. So somehow he's going to end up joining the Gaang. Don't know how he'll pull that one off. He's done some pretty not great stuff. And it's not like the Gaang watched this episode and unlocked his tragic backstory.

Speaking of, what prompted these reflections? I could understand if Zuko started to contemplate his cousin and the events surrounding his loss in the war after he learned about the family's older brother, but he was having flashbacks before he even got to town. Usually when there are backstory bits, there's a good reason to show them at that time, like how the Storm prompts Aang to think about the last storm he was in, or seeing a boat from his father's fleet prompts Sokka to remember what his dad told him. So what caused Zuko's memories to give him situationally appropriate flashbacks?

Pretty funny that he found the Nice Earth Kingdom Family that Azula predicted for him. And they are really nice! Either Zuko is an open book or the parents' social intelligence is off the charts because they're giving him exactly what he needs to feel at ease after barely a single conversation.

Speaking of Azula, I'm not surprised to find that she's always had deeply awful tendencies, even as a child of (I'm guessing) less than ten. But it cannot be ignored that, from the moment her father took a liking to her (as a tool to boost his own greatness, if not as a person), she didn't stand a chance. You can tell by the number of times that the stuff coming out of her mouth is a thinly veiled repetition of her father's unfiltered opinions, that she's been spending lots of time listening to him, probably while he puts down her mom and brother and talks about how she's the special one. You know what I'm getting at. Azula never stood a chance once her father got involved, and her mom lost the ability to influence her once her father started giving Azula praise for objectively wrong behaviour. That being said, Azula is awful even when she doesn't need to be awful for her father's approval, like when she's with her friends, so it's not all her father's doing. She's not a good person but she also had plenty of help to become that.

I guess Zuko and his mom are Fire Nation anomalies? And maybe Iroh has become that since his son died and he lost the war?

How on earth did Zuko survive as long as he did in the palace without his mom to protect him? What a no-win situation to be in. The only person in a whole nation with empathy.

This episode does makes Season 1 Zuko make more sense. He's been larping his dad as a defense mechanism for surviving the Fire Nation/probably a very futile effort to earn his approval. Although Zuko doesn't seem to care much for his dad if the tone he takes with him by the turtleduck pond is any indication.

Being banished was the best thing that ever happened to Zuko. The more distance between him and his remaining non-uncle family, the better. Between prioritizing his crew over capturing the avatar in the Storm, releasing the Avatar in the Blue Spirit, and now defending a random earth kingdom child this episode, it's hilarious how much Zuko HASN'T learned the lesson that Ozai banished him for not knowing. Don't get me wrong; that's a good thing. This episode plainly shows that behaviour that pleases Ozai is behaviour that should be unlearned as quickly as possible.

Zuko completely missing the point of his mom's last instruction is delightfully on the nose. But it also makes sense, which I may talk more about later.

How did Zuko hold on to his temper (and his volume) for a whole episode?

How did a show named after the main character get away with an episode that doesn't feature him at all? As a concept, this is such a strange episode. The writers were like "how can we kick start the woobification of Zuko? I know! A Spaghetti Western!" and it worked. Who comes up with that?

I now want at least as much, if not more, of Sokka and Katara's childhood via flashbacks. And more Gyatso please. If they can devote a whole episode to the childhood of a guy who isn't even a team member yet, they can show me some Sokka childhood shenanigans as a palette cleanser.

I really don't know what conclusion to draw about this episode. The writers have given me a massive backstory/trauma dump and I'm honestly like:

#atla #avatar: the last airbender #avatar the last airbender #zuko alone #I really don't know what to make of this one

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jq37 · 1 month

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Man, Gorgug HUMILIATED that worm. Everybody was on their A+++ game. Almost all of them solo'd at least one of the big monsters. And extra credit to all the Bad Kids for their post-battle paranoia. Riz must have been quietly proud of them the whole time.

Now for next week, we'll finally get our steaming lore-dump. The most important one for me being what the eff is Kipperlily's damage? This apparently started in Freshman Year, but outside of the Prompocalypse, the most publicly known things the Bad Kids did that year were killing Daybreak (which is what put them on the social map at least among the freshmen) and the brawl against Aelwyn and her elementals. The only other thing from that year that might have a longshot of being connected is that maybe she knew one of the members of Johnny Spells' gang and is pissed they got killed.

From a comedic standpoint, her being just an immature hater who can't stand that she and her clique aren't the top dogs of their class, makes the most sense. Penelope Everpetal destroyed her entire life, betrayed everyone who loved her and damned her soul to hell, for about a minute of being prom queen and then getting killed. So it's not impossible that KL and the Grinder's whole deal is something super petty. But that feels too easy, I dunno. Anyway, a good story should keep you guessing and this is a good story. Let's see if they can wrap this up in the five episodes they've got left.

They really all showed how proficient they've gotten in battle! From damage to strats to buffing each other. It was a real exercise in hyper-competency which I love. I know nail biters are more narratively tense and stuff but sometimes it's nice to watch characters you love just absolutely wreck house.

Kipperlilly does really seem like the kind of person who would Penelope style just go full Sara Berry and start killing people for some petty as reason like she wants to be Rogue Valedictorian, but I don't think it would be the strongest move narratively to have that happen a second time, just with a nerd instead of a popular girl. It could def happen because, like I said, she has the personality for it and there's the god side of things to add more depth to the story if the RG stuff is too petty on its own. But my current guess is that whatever petty wants she has was the spark but there's more going on. Like you said, hopefully we'll find out soon.

(One last thing: I feel very uneasy that we keep hearing about this Devil's Honey but we don't know what it's being used for. Like, this stuff lets you lie to gods. How can we trust anything fully until that's sorted?)

#dimension 20 #fantasy high #asks #farmer-10

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fandoomrants · 4 months

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Okay, so I'm fully into my HP obsession again (honestly, I don't care what anyone says or how much the world tries to cancel this fandom. This is my childhood, it's a part of me that's always there and I eventually go back to between the other things) and therefore, the Marauders era's obsession.

And like, I've always loved them for some reason. Honestly, when I found fandoms and stuff and saw they're actually almost a fandom on it's own, I was so happy and relieved that I'm not the only one. (I realised at one point that I love HP yet I've never read a fic that's not about them from this fandom...)

But I've been thinking about some things and also came across some random videos summarizing what we know about them (because there are so many hcs that most people accept as common that it's easy to forget the real facts) and now I have so many thoughts I need to share because they haunt me.

-They were like... Big jerks. Especially James and Sirius. Mostly them, tbh. Like, not only because we see them from Snape's perspective in memories and he hates them but because, well, they were mean. Especially Sirius (he's my absolutely favourite character but still), he's done pretty shitty things. I think James mostly had beef with Snape but they were overall kinda bullies.

-Even though I love Wolfstar just as much as 90% of this fandom (I mean the Marauders era), I think they're a famous ship just because we get to see interactions between them while alive and not just flashbacks but I don't think they were really close back in the days. James and Sirius were the ones extremely close and maybe if we had seen extended Marauders' interactions or they were eventually all alive, then most likely Wolfstar wouldn't have been that popular.

-I'm 99% sure that the great friendship between Lily and Remus is completely fan-made. I believe Remus was the most reasonable (but nobody can convince me he wasn't the mastermind behind 99% of their pranks at the same time) and wasn't into being mean with anyone so it's possible that they were interacting on much better terms than her and James (I mean, until they got together) but I don't think they could have ever been called friends.

-In fact, canonly, Sirius was taller than Remus. (What a shock, right?)

-Lots of people say stuff like "Who was the fifth guy in their dorm?" and there are many theories about it but do we even have a proof that the four of them were in the same dorm at all? Nope.

-Now that's my personal opinion but... I absolutely believe they were really good friends and while at school at least, nobody was left out intentionally but... Maybe Peter betrays them in the end because of some build up stuff throughout the years. We know James and Sirius meet on Hogwarts Express and immediately become best friends. We don't know when Remus and Peter join exactly but it must have been shortly after, I think Peter is pretty much the last who joins. Seeing how some of the people are very good friends, it's a bit hard to truly feel a part of a friend group and might make you feel a bit left out at times (but that's basically a rule in every friend group, tbh. There are the two best friends and well... the other, still close friends).There's also the fact that Peter canonly wears the Sorting hat for over five minutes so here you have another episode of feeling kind of left out. Then later they learn about Remus and they all decide to support him and even learn how to transform and Peter is the last to learn how to do it too. Then even later, James and his family take Sirius in. What I'm trying to say is, we have no canon information of any of them doing anything for Peter and I'm not saying that they weren't good friends, it's just that he was exposed to them doing stuff for each other, and like, really big stuff too (granted, it was really all about helping a friend in a big need) but he was never the center of it + some occasions that might have left him feel kind of uncertain and uneasy about himself like not being sorted for a longer time or needing help to transform. And the result might be feeling emotionally distant from the group and with desire to prove himself worthy of something. So, that's maybe why he finally turns to Voldemort.

-They canonly don't trust Remus much by the end and even suspect he might be Voldemort's spy.

-There is a big chance that Harry and Remus really meet when Harry is 13, meaning that he never saw him as a baby.

-Speaking of feeling left out earlier... I think Remus might have also felt so more often than not. I think they were all into innocent pranks but he wasn't into actively being a jerk, especially considering that he was someone who would have gotten lots of hate if people knew about the werewolf thing. The stupid prank in 5th year must have been a real punch in the gut too. The fact that he gets to stop interacting with them and they even start mistrusting him. Lots of things, really. AND HE STILL NEVER BETRAYED THEM, WAS NEVER A JERK TO ANY OF THEM, AND GOT TO LIVE FOR 12 YEARS BELIEVING THAT ONE OF HIS BEST FRIENDS KILLED THE OTHER TWO!!!

Okay. I made myself enough sad for one evening. Might add more to this.

#harry potter #hp #hogwarts #marauders era #marauders #james potter #sirius black #remus lupin #peter pettigrew #lily evans #wolfstar #rant

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youlooklikeasixtiesqueen · 9 days

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here are all my thoughts and notes from purcon!! not formatted for tumblr but readable!!!

Day 1:

Opening:

everyone was so happy to be there, and so shocked how many people were there!!! 2500!!!

they showed vids before bringing everyone on stage and continued that throughout the panels. it's a cute touch

Misha auto:

he smiled and i got shaky knees and giggled like a 12 year old with a crush

jensen was at the table next to him!!

very quick but there was a huge line

he signed my book!!

i said "hi misha" and he said hi back

he looked at my destiel shirt and smiled :)

Ty & DJ:

started by telling us thank you for the congrats on their engagement

you can see how much they love each other!!! no pda but the way they look at each other!!

plus they both said multiple times that meeting each other was the best thing that happened

dj has been obsessed with eastenders since the 90s, never missed an episode

ty told everyone not to smoke cigarettes

dj had a glass of wine (it was 1pm)

left 5 mins early to get the Darius auto

Meeting Darius:

so nice and kind!! gentle vibes, literally what you would expect from misha's best friend

i was 2nd in line out of four people

four people in the autograph group so he talked to us all for about 15 minutes as a group

he signed his name on the picture, then asked if misha was going to sign it as well. i said no so he asked if he could sign misha's name for him and we all laughed and i said yes and it literally looks like misha wrote it

he told us him and misha have a competition to see who can bring the other person to a bigger event - darius took misha to the oscars, misha took darius to meet zelensky, but now darius got invited to meet the pope!!

talked to us a bit about filmmaking and how the picture aspect is basically the same throughout film history, but sound changes every week

it took 26 weeks in post for the sound of metal to get the sound right

he's friends with emilia clarke??? and said that she was so upset over the got ending because so many babies have her character's name

he felt the spn ending was rushed

sooooo handsome in person and the nicest voice

darius is getting austrian citizenship bc his grandma was from austria but she had to flee

Mark:

only saw the last bit but he was of course wandering the crowd

talked a lot about mental health and how we're not alone

said the best place to have a panic attack is a spn convention

Sachin & Osric:

fun!! not that interesting but fun!!

sachin just learned about destiel. like minutes before the panel started

talked about being poc in the industry and how much better it has gotten

Jared:

it was fine but again not interesting

talked about pranks

talked about maybe being on the boys

talked about mental health

Misha & Jensen:

an hour late bc they made jensen do photos :(

they played the confession right before they walked on stage???

question queue was very long, they took about five or six not so great questions

someone asked what their fave gym equipment is (wtf) and misha said it's the towel to slap others on the butt with

but they were very fun!!

some people decided to tell a sob story at the mic which wasted time. like they know you love supernatural, they know you're nervous, you don't need to tell them.

they joked around a lot

three touches!! fingers, high five, hug!!!

you can just see how much they adore each other

darius was sitting on the steps but they wouldn't give him a microphone :( hopefully he'll come out at misha's panel tomorrow

Day 2:

Jared & Jensen VIP:

question abt Radio Company coming to Germany

Jensen says they're discussing it, his fave songs are Quarter To and City Grown Willow

Mario Kart characters - Jared Yoshi because he poops eggs, Jensen Blue Shell guy??, his 7yo plays Rosalina, JJ can beat him in Mario Kart now

Jared is 25% German (maternal grandpa)

Jensen wants to turn his next Purcon visit into a vacation

one person is talking so slowwwww

Jensen would want to reshoot Bugs without the bees

They had to do a bee allergy test where someone actually picked up a bee with tweezers and made it sting them

3 part question 🙄 with backstory 🙄 about their kids and if they can grow up normal and if they have a strategy if their kids read fanfic

Jensen played baseball in HS

His first school play was a musical

Mark:

thanked us for letting them do the panels in english without a translator

Crowley was more excited to spend time with Dean instead of being in Hell

Mark went upstairs and helped a fan who had a bad photo with Jared

Got a standing ovation

Ty & DJ:

DJ used anti wrinkle creme on his balls but he stopped when his doctor said it would make him infertile

Ty told us to listen to a 23yo Canandian who sounds like Johnny Cash (Colter Wall??? maybe??)

Ty listens to a lot of country, DJ doesn't really have strong feelings about music

DJ adopted a dog who pissed on his belongings for 10 years - he was supposed to live until about 2 bc of health problems

DJ says to watch the movie Overboard

several questions were asked yesterday

DJ, Ty, and Ty's daughters have matching tattoos (they got them drunk) it's a little skull

Sachin & Osric:

Osric is Timon, Sachin is Pumba

Misha:

couldn't do notes bc i was in line!! wasn't picked tho, because everyone rushed to the microphone before the last panel was over

one person spent five minutes monologuing

misha said people should ask him questions on their knees

Bishagate reference!! He asked a girl if she was coming out as an alien and she said "that's rich coming from you", Darius laughed so much (while he was still on the stairs)

Compared whipped cream to cum

Darius was on stage!!

Jared:

greeted us with Guten Abend, Guten Tag, and howdy y'all

said it's not a goodbye to spn, it's a see you later

said swan song was easier than sacrifice bc he was lucifer for swan song so he had to act... reminder: that's his job...

first question was not a question

second question was a prank question

trivializing the thing where jared put coins in misha's car!!! wtf

praising mark p ew

woman keeps talking about her alarm sound which is german dean

called out a woman's shirt that says "save an impala, ride a winchester"

looks like jared will be on the boys, he basically confirmed it

he likes mountains more than beaches

says they might do a beach episode in the future

talking about the finale and the dean death scene

wants to bring jdm to the next con

Jensen:

GIANT line to ask a question

first woman named her kid Dean Jensen

hates toy slime bc it's all over his house

danneel moves a creepy doll around the house to mess with jensen

question abt cas in the winchesters and cas returning!! how to address the confession!! jensen thinks the confession was a long time coming and beautiful and raw and real!! dean understands cas loved him!! said cas saying he loves dean was clear text (rather than subtext) said cas and jensen found each other and when they meet again cas' feelings are just understood

says demon dean is stronger than soldier boy bc demon dean has no soul

boys question - jensen talks about herogasm, jack quaid just told jensen good luck when he went on set, nobody on set knew what was lube and what was hand sanitizer, he was unprepared to see so many naked people, he was standing next to a guy when the robes came off and he "had to do the glance", couldn't help looking at people having sex "there's four people here in a position i've never seen before"

woman crying while asking a question

woman said dj said he wanted to exchange his husband for jensen, and jensen said he doubts it because ty is pretty great

woman telling bad jokes, one about how women having orgasms is like a snowstorm because you can't see it coming?? not true for either i think

jensen needs to do more solo panels. i could listen to him talk for hours

i can't believe i was in the same room as this man wtf

#purcon #purcon 8

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h50europe · 1 year

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Brand new interview with Scott. He is talking about his new show Alert, the special bond he has with Alex, and his movie career in general.

AVC:For a lot of actors, especially after playing a character for a long time, there are certain mannerisms or parts of past characters that might creep into the new characters they play. Do you see any similarities between Jason and maybe Danno from Hawaii Five-O or any of the other characters you’ve played?

SC: I’d like to say no, but I guess the answer is of course, right? I don’t care if you’re playing a part that’s the opposite of you. You gotta figure out a way to put the most of you into that person that’s not like you, so yes, I guess the pitfall of doing the same character for such a long time is that you can’t help but have little bits or mannerisms from other characters come into play. When you do a movie, you can really dig in and become somebody else for two months for 90 minutes of cinema, as opposed to when you’re doing a show, [and] the character kind of becomes you or whatever version of yourself that you’ve created from the beginning. After two seasons, three seasons, there is no separation between you and [the character], which is good and bad, right?

AVC: Ending a show almost feels as difficult as starting and launching one. How do you feel about the way Hawaii Five-O wrapped up?

SC: To be honest, I don’t remember how they were wrapped up. [Laughs] I literally have no clue. You could tell me, and I’d be like, “Okay, yeah.” But as far as a job, man, the people I was working with on a daily basis, even the ones I didn’t like, were still family. I was closer to a lot of the people on that show—crew members and other actors—than I was with family members.

Alex [O’Loughlin] and I went through so many ups and downs. That dude’s my brother for the rest of my life. And sometimes I wanted to strangle him, and sometimes he wanted to strangle me. [Laughs] But that dude’s my family until the day I die.

AVC: You and Alex became the show’s fan-favorite duo with your explosive ability to banter and bounce off of each other on and off the set. What do you miss most about working with him in particular?

SC: Look, I think that’s the key to any show: The people you’re watching have that banter. And by the way, let me just reiterate: I didn’t want to strangle him more than I did want to strangle him. But I’m just saying after 10 years, there were moments he wanted to kill me [Laughs].

I just miss working with somebody [where] we have so much history and it was just easy. You couldn’t throw us an acting problem that we couldn’t solve together. And I don’t mean any disrespect, but when you’re trying to write 25 episodes in nine months, some of it is not going to work on the page. And a lot of the time, they would hand us something [where] Alex and I had to figure out how to make it work. And by the end, we didn’t really have to talk. I’d just look at him, point to a line, and he’d be like, “Yeah, yeah, I got it.” We’d know how to get through scenes, and then I knew his strengths. When there was something that could be fixed with his strengths, I’d back up. And when he knew that there was something that I could fix, he would back up. It takes a while to build that.

There’s a power struggle in the beginning of a show. I think I’m really good at certain things, but the people I’m working with don’t know that I’m good at it. I feel like I know how to make a scene that’s not working work, and when you’re working with new people, they may think, “Well, why does he think he knows?” And it’ll take me six or seven episodes for them to go, “Oh, okay, Scott knows how to do that part.” And then there’s certain things where I have to figure out, “Oh, Dania knows how to do that part.” We’re just getting there now, and who knows if we get another season, right? So we might just have to start over with another show or we’ll continue on.

The thing with Alex and I is, we could figure anything out easily and our egos would, for the most part, go this way [motions his hands separating and going in different directions]. We’re two alpha males. Season one, we were like, “I know!” [Motions his fists to clash] “No, I know, I know! I got this.” By season four, five, and six, our egos kind of floated away a little bit, and we were able to work together and figure out anything.

FULL INTERVIEW HERE: Scott Caan on landing Ocean's Eleven, his new show Alert, and instructing his dad on set

#scott caan #alex o'loughlin #h50 #danny williams #steve mcgarrett #steve and danno #alex and scott #mcdanno #ocaan

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jacarandaaaas · 4 months

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Here’s some revisions I did after seeing some of the ideas (there are obviously some flaws but I tried). Also, these ideas you guys had are amazing and my brain is BRAINING!!!

Season one - Centering the triplets as they grow up and Alma nearly losing her mind. The full season would be 20+ episodes and 20 minutes long. Also includes young Agustin and Felix.

Season two - First ten episodes ending with the triplets (Pepa’s wedding) and the last ten with the grandchildren growing up. (And expanding on the changes that happened after Mirabel’s ceremony.)

This season and mid season three would expand on how some relationships dwindled and just different dynamics and such. Maybe some post-movie bonding.

Season three - First ten episodes ending with post-movie grandkids/ before Antonio’s birth month. The last ten centering on the actual healing through Casita’s collapse. Mirabel’s parents, sisters, and Primo's reaction to Mirabel’s disappearance. And the reaction to Bruno coming back and how they all felt.

And more bonding among family members and an introduction to extended ones on Agustin and Felix’s side of the family. Like honestly, what about their other cousins? grandparents? Tias & Tios? Nephews and nieces? We need more of them too.

Over the course of the series a trading & transport system is created for people to safely get in and out of the Encanto to the nearest town. They do explore outside The Encanto/see how far the gifts go. Culture shock.

Obligatory "the oldest granddaughters go out and shenanigans happen." also Camilo and Mirabel spy/tag along.

Season four - first twelve episodes are going to be character-centric and full of shenanigans. In every episode Luisa tries a new hobby in the B/C plot and it goes a different direction each time.

Obligatory halloween episode where the grandchildren tell each other scary stories of the outside world.

Episodes 18 could possibly surround the Triplets birthday. Episode 19 could be the Valentine's day episode with the yellow couple, blue couple, and Dolores’ relationship with Mariano. Could also involve the other grandkids talking to their crushes or asking them out. Just a full day of wholesome love.

Episode 20 could be a BIG family game night with extended family involved.

Season five - Finale season (A few years into the future maybe?)

Mariano goes with the other granddaughters out of the Encanto to get the best engagement ring for Dolores (because only the best of the best is good for her). Camilo and Antonio tag along and they get into trouble. Dolores hears everything and goes to bail her boyfriend and cousins/brothers out.

Day of little candles themed ep where alma and the family go to the river and alma tells them all about pedro. Also flashbacks of before dos oruguitas and Alma telling her family how proud she is of them all.

Mirabel (possibly seventeen or eighteen) looks back on how far the family has come while working on Dolores’ wedding dress.

Season ends with Dolores and Mariano getting married!

Notes: Yes, the theme song would be like the family madrigal, new outfits every other episode, in each episode a part of the diverse Colombian culture could/should be explored. (food, music, dancing, fashion, history, etc). Songs are a must and Lin Manuel Miranda will be the one who worked on them. I won’t let anyone else attempt to mimic his style of music when he can just be hired. I’m sure he would like to work on the story anyway.

I think 24 episodes instead of 20 would be a bit better plot and story wise. Maybe each could be 25 minutes each too? Also, if Disney is willing to not have a stick up their ass, I would like the series to be animated in Disney’s renaissance era style. Like the Hunchback of Notre dame, Brother bear, Lion king, Treasure planet, and Tarzan. I’m NOT accepting anything less.

It could also be a Tradigital (both computer and hand drawn) style like Tarzan/Hunchback of Notre dame! 3D backgrounds painted to look 2D with the characters actually being traditionally drawn. This would especially be cool to look at in Antonio’s room and just Encanto in general.

TONS OF DISNEY EASTER EGGS! “Wish” kind of didn’t do it right at all so I think Encanto can do it better. Honestly I should’ve just asked the Encanto community for help instead of just struggling by myself. YOU GUYS ARE AMAZING!!! If I’m ever able to pitch this to Disney and actually make this become true I will credit ALL OF YOU!!!

Also, I’ve noticed how poorly Disney marketed Treasure planet, Princess and the frog, and strange world (most are allegedly poorly marketed) and by god I WILL NOT let them poorly market this.

Lastly, I think the series could have a full six seasons because there are so many ideas that I want to add and don’t want anyone’s idea left out. Plus, there’s just so much one can do...

thanks to @midcanto @mirabels-miracle @droppingdonkeys @slayyyysworld @teawizard and you of course for the ideas!

mirabel😭making😭dolores😭wedding😭dress😭

I love these ideas so much!!! in a better universe this exists and in the Number 1 fan!!! I love when this fandom is creative and all come together!!

#encanto #encanto disney #disneys encanto

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wisellamawerewolf · 7 months

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One last Helluva Boss rant

I think I'm going to take a more or less permanent break from Helluva Boss. I haven't even watched the latest episode, but I honestly don't want to watch it at all anymore. I've only watched a small bit (the Fizzes song to be exact, as I was curious about it) and it was pretty good, but man it upsets me.

It's sickening to me how a person who has multiple work place abuse allegations just releases a song about how "it's ok to leave an abuse boss, watch our character stick it to the man🤪🤪🤪", when she herself sends lawyers after people who dare to speak against her. I'm sick of people praising HB as a peak progressive show, when its creator is being transphobic and has been misgendering her coworkers. Not to mention that the same show can't even go for five minutes without calling some woman a slur. The only representation it has is "hypersexual mlm man" and at this point calling it a "good representation" is the same as calling gay dudes from a bad fujoshi fanfic "good representation".

Y'all can "separate art from the artist" for however long you want, but in this case I just can't do it anymore. For me it became unbearable to actually watch the show, knowing everything that happens behind the scenes.

I feel like I myself become more toxic the more I think about all the vile shit the fan base and the creator herself does to people who dare to criticize the show. I used to think the show had potential and my critique was maybe highly subjective, but it was coming from a place of sincerity. Critiquing Helluva Boss used to be fun, but now it's just sad. I maybe repeating myself, but the show just became so revolting and disgusting to me that I just don't want to talk about it at all anymore. At this point I just hope when the show ends, maybe in a couple of years some big YouTuber will make a video on it and include all the shit the creator, crew and the most loud toxic fans had done to people and expose their ugly side, but that's just wishful thinking.

Lastly, I'd like to say to all the people who faced abuse from the HB crew or fans: I'm really sorry it happened to you. Document the abuse and leave it out there for people to see if you wish to do so, and/or distance yourself from this shit show if it will help your mental health.

For any Helluva Boss/VivziePop stans and white knights who may stumble upon this post: don't waste your breath trying to defend this show or it's creator here. Just block me and move on, I don't want to touch your garbage with a thirty nine and a half foot pole anymore.

#helluva boss critical #spindlehorse critical

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queseraone · 2 months

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Okay, doing my worst.. rank all the main characters we’ve ever had on The Rookie! 😇

As you wish:

Tim Bradford — This man. From that very first episode, I was invested. The way I went from thinking he was the biggest asshole on the planet to just wanting to wrap him up in a big hug in a single episode?? LOVE. His journey has been spectacular, and I'm a total sucker for character development, which is the only reason I placed him ahead of Lucy (*ask me again in five minutes and they'll swap places)

Lucy Chen — How could anyone not adore her? (Seriously, how?? I've seen some negative takes and I just cannot fathom how anyone could think a single bad thing about her.) She's kind and compassionate, whip smart and a total badass. She deserves everything!!!!!

Nyla Harper — I love her, her take-no-shit attitude is amazing, and she's such a badass. She, too, has had so much growth since her debut, and I've loved seeing her go from "I don't care about anyone, I'm just here for the pay bump" to being an integral part of the team family.

Aaron Thorsen — I'll be honest, this one surprised me. I still remember how I initially disliked him, and now here I am ranking him close to the top of my list. He just adds so much fun to the show, and I particularly love seeing him play off of both Tim and Lucy.

Angela Lopez — My queen. She's sassy and witty, but has so much heart! And I basically live for her friendship with Tim. I really hope we'll see more from her character this season and beyond, because between her pregnancies and Elijah, we haven't seen nearly enough of what she's capable of!

Wade Grey — Listen, I'm nowhere near as invested in Grey as I am most of the others, but I still love him. He's like the Papa Bear of the show. He cares so deeply for his team (and the man sees everythiiiiiing).

Jackson West — I think Jackson is the most difficult one for me to place, in part because it feels like forever ago that he was part of the show, and also because I like him less upon rewatching as I did originally? Listen, I like the idea of Jackson more than Jackson himself a lot of the time. I absolutely adore the fanfic version of Jackson, but I think he fell short in a lot of ways on the show itself. Especially following DOD, I think he could have and should have been a better, more supportive friend to Lucy. And I've never loved his sort of holier-than-thou attitude. But his place in the original crew earns him a special place in my heart (and on this list), because his good moments definitely outweigh the bad ones. And the money I'd have paid to see him reacting to Chenford?? RIP.

Bailey Nune — Is she my favourite? Absolutely not (as evidenced by her place on this list lol). But I don't always understand the way people hate on her. She's definitely shoehorned into a lot of scenes/storylines, but that's not the character's fault. And I've enjoyed her more and more as we've seen some flaws in the "I'm a master at everything I do" façade. The episode where her college(?) friend visits and she's trying to keep up? Fun! When she thinks a coyote is a puppy? Love! Calling Lucy a badass? You go girl! I hope we continue to see her interacting more with the other characters, because they're doing Bailey/Jenna a massive disservice by not mixing it up more!

Wesley Evers — I really, really like him, but compared to so many characters that I absolutely adore, he has to fall toward the bottom of the list. Hate to say it, but he doesn't really add anything to the show (🙈)? Maybe we'll see more of that now that's working for the DA's office, but as of right now, I just don't get excited when I see him on my screen.

Celina Juarez — She's fun, and I enjoy her, don't get me wrong. But I just find her behaviour as a rookie jarring when I compare it to our original trio. Though to be fair, these are more reasons to dislike Nolan as a TO than faults of Celina herself...

Zoe Andersen — Did I love her? Yes, absolutely, she was fantastic! (And her death still wrecks me every single time!) But it feels unfair to rank her higher, simply because we only had her for a short time. I often think about how things would be different if she was still around. I think she'd be a fantastic mentor for Lucy in particular.

John Nolan — Look, this ranking doesn't mean I hate him. I don't. I actually like all of these characters, that's the beauty of this show for me. But of them all, I am the least invested in Nolan. Maybe that's a byproduct of how he's been written over the last few seasons - it's hard to care too much when you know that, no matter what happens, everything's going to work out perfectly for him, you know?

Talia Bishop — She had some good moments, don't get me wrong (I especially enjoyed her dynamic with Tim), but I just didn't get on board with her character like the others.

Thanks Pauli, this was super fun, you can keep the 😇 title... (I wonder what people would say if I put Nolan at the top of my list? 😂😂😂)

#the rookie #chenford #asked and answered #chenfordspiral #opinions #rankings #i forget how i was tagging this stuff before?#this was super fun

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twig-tea · 1 month

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Lady Boy Friend Is Getting Interesting (at ep 7/16)

Nobody should take this as an endorsement to watch the show, because I think it is really hard to watch for most people and for good reason (it's also hard for me to watch at points). But Lady Boy Friend the Series is doing some really interesting things, and I have to talk about it. It took several episodes before I could get the sense of the overarching plot but now that I do understand what it's doing I'm really curious about where it's going. Spoilers for plot points through to ep7 follow from here.

The core plot of this show is about a class of high school students. The main character is Jeedny, who shows up on the first day of what I think would be equivalent to North American high school (~Grade 10) out of the closet as kathoey, but all of the other kids who are kathoey don't trust her because they've all been out for years and already have their own cliques. So they treat her cattily (they also treat each other cattily, to be fair), and she responds badly by pranking them. She starts desperately grabbing for attention; first by trying to fit in, and when she's rejected, she tries for attention by standing out, and it's not taken well by her peers. Finally in this episode it got to a point where the other kathoeys in her grade have banded together across clique lines to ostracize Jeedny, and it all comes to a head when she finally admits that she's been shitty to them but that it was in response to being rejected in the first place. Everyone apologizes to her but says they'll just stay out of her business, and she's left alone again which is the opposite of what she wanted.

Meanwhile the boys in the class have their own drama. There is a playboy (Jet) who starts flirting with another boy (New) who is cautious but enjoying the attention. It takes a few episodes of concerted flirting to get through that Jet is seriously interested and not just teasing him, and New starts to believe that maybe this could be real. They have sex, and then Jet ghosts New. When New tries to confront him, Jet acts totally disinterested and says he's just not into him like that. New is heartbroken and Jet is clearly discomforted by that; when New starts emotionally distancing himself from Jet and showing disinterest, that discomforts Jet even more. Jet keeps trying to get New's attention back but New's not having it, and he calls Jet out on his bullshit. Jet's own friends also call him out on how his actions differ from his words and how he seems to be leading people on, both New and the girls he dates, and how uncool that is. Jet seems to be unable to leave New alone.

I appreciate that this series is wrestling with in-fighting, cliques, how difficult it can be to get past queer gatekeeping, and how we band together against what we see as a threat. I also love how it's getting in how isolating that can feel if you're on the other side of it, and how difficult it is to come at your queerness at a different age than your peers (even though Jeedny is still so young!). I love that this show has a plotline around "straight" fuckboys and the very real games they play. I appreciate that in the conflict between the kathoey characters, nobody is in the right.

We're only just about halfway through the series, and I still don't have a a sense of what the back half of the show is going to be about (it could all still fall apart), but for now, now that the first half has crystallized into a plot I'm enjoying it. Even when these characters are being awful to one another it feels very familiar and...comforting, in a way. Sometimes I miss being in queer spaces and need to hear people insult one another for five minutes and then offer to throw hands at any outsiders who so much as look at the person they were just insulting with their whole chest.

So why am I not shouting for people to go give this show a try? There is a lot of Thai humour (more specifically the brand of Thai humour that reminds me of older series like Make it Right and Diary of Tootsies) in this show that doesn't necessarily land well, because it's based in puns which just don't translate, fatphobia, colourism, toilet humour, sexual aggression against men as comedy, etc. There are parts that I find hard to watch, and parts that I find boring. There are some scenes that I just don't know what to do with, e.g. when one of the boys is asked to provide a sperm sample for their science class to look at under a microscope. The acting is very uneven, quality of the cinematography, colour grading, sound, and other production elements are low budget. The translation is also lacking, which makes watching all that much harder.

A lot of the comments on MDL are about how this show feels transphobic and I can see why they'd say that, especially in the early episodes. The kathoey characters can come across like caricatures rather than people, especially at first (some of this I chalk up to these characters being young and trying to establish their identities; this does also improve as the show goes on), and the joke seems to consistently be that none of them are attractive or likeable to the male characters (possibly also improving as the show goes on, we'll see). There are many ways in which it's not a good show. It is about the ways we can be terrible to each other even as it's also about how we can hold each other up, which is understandably not something people necessarily want to watch. I really struggled at first, and even as it's become more clear what the show is doing, there hasn't yet been enough of a turn to get fully away from the parts that are difficult, and I'm not expecting the show to ever fully stop being difficult for me at times (it would be unrealistic to expect this show to become something completely different from what it is).

But even with all of that, I'm tentatively excited by the themes it's exploring and wanted to share.

#lady boy friends the series #bl meta #typed so that i can stop thinking it #who knows how this will end up in the end #but i'm enjoying what I think it's trying to do #also just to say I feel like I'm not placed to judge what parts of this show are or are not offensive #i think it's important to take shows in their cultural context #that's why I'm not describing this show in terms of being problematic or bad but rather in terms of landing badly #i struggled a lot with how to write this post #long post

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variousqueerthings · 7 months

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SO WE'VE SEEN EPISODE ONE THE ELEVENTH HOUR (gosh I love the doctor-related silly puns -- Eighth Wonder, Northern Star, You're A Ten, etcetc, good stuff...)

and I remember when I was watching this. I remember being quite excited. I remember being really into the season trailer (which is pretty good, still), and I remember being like "oh what the doctor is holding a gun!!!??!!!" (which is still a pay-off I remember thinking worked overall)

It's a good introduction episode. Murray Gold kills it with the music especially, Matt Smith is not bad, Olivia Coleman is there (pls can she be in DW again as a bigger role??? it's Olivia Coleman and she has nearly nothing to do in this??????) and we get what feels like the central ongoing conceit between the doctor and the new companion: that the doctor left her and so her entire self was formed around her child-self's belief of him -- it's pretty fucked up stuff, great for future work

new Tardis is beautiful. more like a laboratory now, more clean lines than Nine's and Ten's which was put together by scraps (scrap!Tardis my bby). It's shiny now, like a toy

notes the Doctor calling the Tardis "dear" is charming! and "I am definitely a mad man with a box."

Now obviously I know where a lot of things are going, but I will try to be reeelatively episode-minded, as if this were the first time. so on The Measurement of m*ffat's era, here's the rating, and then below some more in-depth explanation as to why. I added two to the initial lot I drew up and clarified a couple of the others

EDIT: retroactively added "politics" to the scoreboard

a criteria will be rated 0-10, with 10 being best score:

sexism rank objectification (female character is ogled/harassed/turned into a sex joke by the doctor and/or a lead we’re supposed to root for and/or the camera): 3/10

sexism rank plot-point (lead female character is only there to serve plot, not to have her emotional interiority explored): 7/10

interesting complex or pointlessly complex (does the complexity serve the narrative or does it just serve to be confusing as a stand-in for smart, this includes visually): 7/10

(if tying into wider narrative) furthers character and/or lore and/or plot development (broader question that ties into the previous ones, at least two of these, ideally three should be fulfilled): 6/10

companion matters (the companion doesn’t always have to be there, but if the companion is there, can they function without the doctor– and overall per season how often is the companion the focus or POV of the story): 5/10

the doctor is more than just “godlike” (examines the doctor’s flaws and limitations, doesn’t solve a plot by having it revolve entirely around the doctor’s existence): 6/10

doesn’t look down on previous doctor who (by erasing or mocking its importance, by redoing and “bettering” previous beloved plotpoints or characters, etc.): 7/10

isn't trying to insert hamfisted sexiness (m*ffat famously talked a lot about how dw should be sexier multiple times, he sucks at writing it): 6/10

internal world has consistency (characters have backgrounds, feel rooted in a place with other people, generally feel like they have Lives): 7/10

politics (how conservative is it): 7/10

FULL RATING: 61/100 (if I can count....)

OBJECTIFICATION: so I had this on 4 and put it down to a 3. Upon rewatch it's pretty egregious, the kissogram joke extends for a fair amount of runtime, from the initial long-shot up her legs to the doctor having kind of a patronising line later on:

little old lady: "I thought you were a nurse... or maybe a nun?"

the doctor: "what sort of a job is a kissogram?" amy: "I go to parties and I kiss people. It's a laugh." the doctor: "you were a little girl five minutes ago." yikes. also worth mentioning that this hinders her ability to. do things. like run. you see her stepping gingerly over a little chain fence and puling her skirt back into place, while the doctor is running to do stuff

PLOT-POINT: she does much better here, with little-girl Amelia clearly being very lonely and adult-Amy never having gotten over the Doctor seemingly abandoning her. I took points off, because for a lot of the episode after Amy is an adult, she's no longer the POV character. The Doctor is. she does get to be re-centred nearer the end again though, with her warring feelings of the thrill of the adventure vs the abandonment coming to the fore several times

she doesn't do much to solve the mystery overall, but we'll get to that in a bit

the bit where the tardis leaves amy again and she has an emotional trigger to waiting up all night for him! and then the doctor leaves again! for another two years! that's interesting stuff! And while she treats Rory poorly, that kind of makes sense, she's not super well-adjusted

COMPLEXITY: the plot is nice and actually relatively restrained, with the exception of the whole "and now we coordinate with the world to make every number a Zero," but that's more like DW silliness than trying to be too big for its britches on narrative level. I knocked off a few points, because it occasionally did some annoying visual m*ffatisms, like the bit where the Doctor is remembering Rory taking pictures of Prisoner Zero, and when Amy was remembering seeing Prisoner Zero. I see you Sherlock...

FURTHERS CHARACTERS/LORE/PLOT: technically not fair, as this is an opening episode, but I note that the Doctor spends time readjusting to a new body, there's references to the past (including classic!who), and while there's nothing referencing to what happened in The End Of Time, and how the Doctor got to where they were, well... that's forgiveable, it's meant to start a new audience, don't get too bogged down in right before. this may be highly subjective, but I do think there's emotional throughline between Ten's characterisation and Eleven's (I ascribe to the "the Doctor is born out of how the previous Doctor's arc ended" HC which is partially confirmed in some cases at least!) -- Ten ended things badly and Eleven is reckless, forgetful, childish, kind of impetuous, and even casually mean in a sort of "eleven-year-old just says shit" kind of way. Perfect way to keep people at bay, emotionally.

whether that's intentional or just how M*ffat writes his favourite characters, hard to say ofc, but it works in this episode!

COMPANION MATTERS: Tbh I don't think Amy... does much... in this episode. She's kind of running around after the Doctor and getting abandoned, which is fine for a first episode, because she has no clue what's going on yet! happy for it to be way more about her emotional journey (although I note that Rose, Martha, and Donna all saved the Doctor in their first episodes)

however, I think there were opportunities to give her -- and Rory -- more! Geoff is some random guy I'm fairly certain we never see again, and yet he seems to be coordinating the main line of defense for some reason? give that to Rory, he's dead weight after the camera bit

I think one Moment that really didn't need to happen was her calling the Doctor to figure out how to get into the hospital and he has to tell her to use her sexy policewoman outfit to pretend to be an actual cop, when that is like. the one thing this stupid gag could have offered her

GODLIKE DOCTOR: ok, I've seen stuff about the Doctor's final bit opposite Big Eye, and I'm torn about it. On the one hand, the Doctor as earth's defender is well-established at this point, including for that matter, Ten in the Christmas Invasion. Howeeever, Ten actually... did something there, rather than just said "look me up, I'm so impressive," which made the monster run away, and there was a whole thing related to that in that Torchwood then blew up the aliens!

because the Doctor, pointedly, isn't always there to defend earth (Harriet Jones, beloved 4-episode character arc!)

It's a good way to show some highlight's from Doctor Who, including previous faces, but I think more could have been done + I know that's kind of the plot of M*ffat's run... the whole "Pandorica" being about the Doctor, the "Silence Will Fall" is about the Doctor, "Doctor Who" is the question that will be asked- urghhhh, okok this doesn't count here! it's hard to discount when you know!

also tellingly M*ffat did this back in Forest Of The Dead as well, and it felt kind of like a cop-out then. Sure hope it isn't a recurring theme haha...

beyond that, we have the Doctor doing a very "I am smart everyone shut up" thing here, however I think in this episode it can be relatively forgiven, because this is immediately post-Ten and the Doctor is messed up and the Tardis basically was on fire and they're still in the middle of regenerating, and so there's... yeah, there's precedent for that kind of dismissive behaviour and the Doctor does like people in this + there's the aforementioned post-Ten personality, which is like an inverse of Nine's, which was also prickly, but in a different way

"look at your screens, whoever I am, I'm a genius..." -- does a lot of "why am I doing this, because I'm a genius, you'll find out when you need to know" but is tempered by buoying other characters, especially... Geoff, for some reason. who is there. and never will be again

PREV DOCTOR WHO: Yeah pretty good here. Nothing to report. Loved the first 15mins of trying to figure themself out and enjoyed the acknowledgement of previous Doctors and there's no "I'm the new and improved" type nonsense, or writing out the past

HAMFISTED SEXINESS: I mean. Amy. Of course. And also the bit where The Doctor is changing and Amy watches, it's just kind of unnecessary and clearly just there to be like "we dare go where no one has gone before: thinking the Doctor is hot!"

WORLD: Feels like a world. It's called Leadworth I believe? We have a host of characters from the village + a mention of Amy's aunt + Rory and his co-workers. There's a place, there's people, let's see where that all goes.....

POLITICS: Nothing terribly egregious -- its main issues are the aforementioned sexism. And maybe a bit of this. Doctor-as-central kind of makes earth seem comparatively free of responsibility for choices (although I note this is different later on in Hungry Earth/Cold Blood)

Overall I have no sense of whether this is a high or a low rating for M*ffat, we shall see how others fare!

It's biggest failings were: objectification of its main female character and companions not having much to do, while its strongest points were Amy feeling like a real character with real emotional depth, the world in which she lives (which is where it takes place) feeling like a real place, being fair to the narratives that came before it, and the plot not going all over the place in the name of Complexity

#the measurement #im watching doctor who #im watching eleven who #will i do things as long as this again? probably not consistently but occasionally #onwards to the beast below!#this is unedited -- do expect mistakes #the eleventh hour

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crispy-ghee · 2 months

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I did think the show was at it's best when it was pushing the rivalry between bird and johnson, and I think the making him more of an asshole in season 1 would have worked better cause it could be from magic's perspective, then he gets fleshed out in season 2, but even then he still didn't get fleshed out as much as he could have been. Also the way they cut that episode where it goes from him seeing his dead dad, to buss romancing the new girlfriend was such a bad tonal shift. They could have cut that and had his mom appear, instead of holding her until the last episode. You don't introduce her with less than five minutes of screen time and then give her a 10 second big emotional payoff, you don't do that with an audience who isn't familiar with the real life people.

Another major issue for me was how they focused way more on the managerial side than the players, to the point that they would cut out a lot of the playing moments to focus on what buss and his family are doing. We know way more about the managing staff than most of the guys who are actually on the team playing basketball. And I think that's best exemplified by the fact that the final episode doesn't end on magic and the team, but on buss and his daughter.

Another thing I noticed, and I don't know if it was just me, but they seemed to continuously undercut the serious tone of moments if they were for characters that weren't the main focus, like that scene I mentioned with larry, them playing good vibrations over jeff mckinney's accident, which are just the ones that I remember really standing out to me as weird to do for actual real life tragedies.

I just think it was badly written overall.

All that said, I do like rewatching all the larry bird scenes.

I think these are all super valid points, and I agree with basically all of it. I understand them trying to focus on Buss because it was about the building of a dynasty, but that doesn't mean that it was compelling at all and it felt like they were interrupting the more interesting parts of the story. Especially in cases like, yeah, cutting from Larry's father's suicide to Buss and his girlfriend. I definitely felt like I had to sit through almost all of the family and business drama stuff just to get to the stuff I actually wanted to see.

Their approach to Larry's mom was really frustrating to me bc it diminished her role in his life a little bit in exchange for the dramatic punch of his father's death, but the fact that she wasn't seen *at all* during the episode they set aside for his backstory was baffling. I think maybe they were trying to have it be like they were saving seeing Larry's soft side to juxtapose it against when he was at his most "villainous" to the Lakers, but that didn't mean having to cut out his mother completely until that moment. Especially since she got so little screen time even then.

Part of me wonders if it was supposed to be just a taste of seeing her influence before presumably showing her hand in Magic and Larry's eventually friendship in the next season (which is now not happening), like they were trying to foreshadow something, but to be honest, I think it's largely the fact that there was too much shit happening in the second season. Literally too many plot threads. So all this stuff got relegated to only a few minutes.

I do enjoy the times when it actually is about Larry and Magic, because that's the most fleshed out/interesting thing that they had, though I do think that there's some interesting stuff about the politics of the team if only they'd approached it right. But they really wanted to make a show about the business drama first, it feels like, which sucks bc it means that the big charismatic people, the players, are second banana to the team owners and the coaches. Also again, I just...I did not care about the family drama. At all. I'm sure other people loved it, Buss is undoubtedly an interesting man, but I wanted to pull my hair out every time it cut to it.

I think they were trying for something that could've been interesting stylistically/presentation-wise, but also it came across as really messy and half-baked at a lot of points. There were moments where it really shined though, but it didn't always work. It's definitely disappointing.

I'm with you on the writing hahaha a lot of deep sighing and frustration on my part while watching. The pacing was so weird, a lot of moments that were supposed to hit felt entirely unearned or out of place.

And also liking rewatching the Larry Bird scenes. As weird and exaggerated as it was, I think you could tell they were having fun with him. If only they'd gotten better wigs and the actor didn't feel like he had to make his own mouth smaller by pursing his lips all the time ahahaha (I still think about how that was gonna be Bo Burnham and I get sad)

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pinkandpurple360 · 5 months

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I dunno... I'm not saying you don't make good points but fizz during "2 minutes notice", (a number where he was free to say whatever he wanted, act however he wanted, literally ripping off his costume to destroy his perfect brand image) still acted quite raunchy and sexual. Shaking his ass, smacking his ass, sensually stroking his stomach, all with a huge smirk on his face. If the lust act was a total ruse, I don't think he'd be doing any of that?

I mean yeah and that was one of the points though. Did it not come across. It feels like he kept switching between “I don’t like being sexualised” to doing it without even being asked to. Earlier in the episode he’s acting very differently saying he doesn’t like the dolls and he admits to mammon that he doesn’t want fans looking at him in that way. But he loves it at lust? Viv also said the performance at Ozzies isn’t the real him the baby girl persona at Ozzies home is. Even though….we see that he uses charm to hide things from Oz and cute faces to get his way. And with blitzø he’s much less performative because he doesn’t need to be charming, but the other extreme is true, he is putting on his nastiest front to protect himself against someone he thinks is out to get him.

Again this is why I wish we could see him talk to someone from his past who always knew him in the “back stage” someone who he trusts and who he doesn’t try to charm/scare away. But who? 🙁

And then?? When he’s on stage again you’re right, it’s the exact same cheeky persona we’re used to. Thank goodness. The usual Fizz. But he said it’s the last time ? 🥲 is it real or is it fake? There’s even a throw away line against the doll things but at the same time he’s fine with being all lusty on stage which is ok but…aren’t we building towards the fact that he doesn’t want to be sexualised by his audience anymore..?

Then, surprisingly Asmodeus the sin of lust apparently, I keep forgetting that part, makes an unhappy face at that strip part, which he later changes his face again to a smile of adoration, and I can’t figure out what that’s about. Is it supposed to be saying that theyll be very exclusive private and monogamous from now on? Is Ozzie less ok with this image than Fizz is? Because we’re led to believe when fizz is at Ozzies, doing this exact thing he’s truly himself…but Viv just said he isn’t?? Since when has seeing fizz perform that way made Oz uncomfortable can these characters be consistent for five seconds ?

Also I’m sorry but “keep that guy far away from me” way back in Ozzies wasn’t the foreshadowing masterpiece everyone claims it is. A fan having four of the things he just advertised doesn’t mean he hates the product and doesn’t want anyone sexualising him except for Ozzie. That means the stage persona doesn’t have any authenticity behind it. Also, the in universe “fandom” immediately goes from sexualising fizz to sexualising “fizzarozzie” the pairing. The fact these same fans who made him uncomfortable and bought the dolls all knew he was with Oz the whole time isn’t actually wholesome at all? Maybe include fans of the dolls crying or something? There’s always some stans who get upset at a reveal like that, while others are happy. The audience should have at least been a mixed bag.

Also maybe I’m going off topic but the fandom insert was a…strange choice,, the definition of fan-service, unless what they’re maybe trying to do is build up to make commentary on how fans of celebs, shipping real life people that are dating, makes a celebrity couple uncomfortable and pressured to share more of their personal lives than they want to. And to create a “couple persona” just for the cameras. That’s not something I see touched on much and it’s kinda Bojacky sorta. Just imagine the two of them being interviewed by the press then it’s accidentally revealed that they were talking to Oz and a fizzbot, while the actual fizz is in the Bahamas.

Basically fizz is juggling personalities and id like if he could, yknow, pick one. Kinda like Loona, Stolas, and apparently, Millie in that regard.

#helluva boss #helluva boss critical

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