#so you know how I preplan my stuff early— right?? | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

rachelbethhines · 3 years

Text

Tangled Salt Marathon - No Time Like the Past

While I wouldn’t call this the worst episode of the series, there are several others I dislike more, I would call this the most ill conceived story in the show.

All the other bad episodes have potential but are let down by poor presentation, boring predictability, or sloppy planning. This one however, is fundamentally flawed in it’s very basic premise and so ranks in the bottom of most fans lists. Even people who are far more forgiving of season three and than I am, and are hardcore New Dream stans, still dislike this episode. That’s how bad it is.

Summary: Rapunzel discovers Old Lady Crowley tossing out Cassandra's things. She is upset and demands that they be left alone. She then has Lance and Eugene help her save all of Cassandra's mementos and personal belongings, but she becomes saddened when Eugene reminds her that Cassandra turned her back on "her". Rapunzel takes a box of her things along with, unknowingly, a mysterious hourglass. As she examines it, she accidentally drops and smashes it and she and Pascal find themselves sent back into the past. They run into a teenage Eugene and Lance who keep calling Rapunzel "Sideburns". Rapunzel realizes that she and Pascal have inhabited the bodies of the Stabbington Brothers and decide to recruit the young thieves in getting the hourglass from the castle back.

Fun Fact! That Dummy is Rapunzel’s Doing

Minor nitpick here, but Cass had nothing to do with putting Eugene’s face on her sparring dummy. Rapunzel voluntarily did that back in Under Raps. Cas never requested it nor even expressed any joy over receiving said ‘gift’.

Basically the show is attributing one of Rapunzel’s mistakes/flaws to Cassandra in order to introduce a very nonsensical plot point later. So I need ya’ll to keep that in mind as we go along.

Lets Talk About the Episode’s Ordering

We don't have production codes for season three like we did for the previous two seasons. So we can’t know for sure what order everything was originally planned in, but I would argue that this episode should have came before Return of the King.

For starters this is a “bottle” episode; it takes place mostly in the past and the only present day characters who show up are Eugene, Raps, Lance, and Crowely. As such you could potentially slot this episode in anywhere before Cassandra’s Revenge. You can’t really do that with most of the other episodes so it could have been easily moved around when airing.

Therefore, I would argue that it should have been the first episode after Rapunzel’s Return for three key reasons.

It would have given Edmund time to travel to Corona and give Raps time to start up big building projects like fixing Old Corona. In fact she’s already approving building plans for the capitol city at the start of the episode. Which could even explain why she took so long getting to the castle repairs if she was taking care of the stuff that the Saporians messed up else where.

Rapunzel’s stance over wanting to keep Cassandra’s things makes more sense early on, both in universe and in a meta context. Raps would still have hope if Cass has only been gone for a month or two instead what would now be four or five months down the line. It also makes sense that Crowely wouldn’t wait around for that long. And from a meta standpoint, the audience would still be oblivious to what the heck Cass was up to and could theoretically side with Raps better; or at least empathize with her view point more, even while disagreeing with her.

Events in this episode better explains Eugene’s decisions in Return of the King and gives the audience more context for certain stuff.

So Why Is There a Random Magical Time Traveling Hourglass in the Storage Vault?

Slowly but surely the series has abandoned all pretense that there’s any logical world building in the show. Magical things just appear randomly now without any explanation whatsoever. Worse than that, things like the hourglass and map to the cursed tomb are treated as if they were always there, unlike the magical beings that they happened to run into in past seasons.

The problem with this is a lack of consistency. You can’t have sceptics like Eugene and Varian if magic is so common and wide spread that anyone can run into it at anytime. Not to mention it diminishes the specialness and importance of the sundrop and moonstone if powerful magical items can be so easily found and stirred, undermining important plot points and the tension surrounding them.

But most frustrating of all, is that this could have been easily fixed by just stating on screen at some point that magic attracts other magic. Meaning it’s only Rapunzel herself who routinely runs into these things and not just everybody and anybody.

None of This Stuff Holds Any Meaning

Show don’t tell!

At several points through out season three, both Raps and Cass morn over Cassandra’s left behind things. They tell us constantly that these objects hold significant meaning to them, but I, the viewer, have no damn clue as to why.

We were never shown on screen what was so special about these things other than the fact that it was junk Cass collected. There’s no story attacked to these assortment of objects nor any previous indication that Cassandra valued them beyond their usefulness. As such, any scenes involving her stuff fall emotionally flat.

Eugene is the One in the Right Here.

Eugene’s right.

Any well adjust and mature adult will tell you he’s right.

If someone doesn’t want a relationship with you, than that’s it. There is nothing you can do but to move on. It sucks, but its life. To ignore that is to ignore someone else’s boundaries and personal autonomy; while also devaluing yourself and you’re own needs.

In a competent show this would be a set up for Rapunzel to learn something about letting go and taking care of oneself emotionally.

But this isn’t a competent show.

But Lobster is for Poor Folk

Food history time!

Lobster, and shellfish in general, have been considered low class food for centuries. Especially around costal areas like Corona. It’s easy to attain, cheap, and not regulated like hunting was in much of Europe. In America, specifically, lobster was fed to prisoners and there’s historical accounts of riots being started over it.

Heck, less than forty years ago, no one lived on the coast but poor people. That’s why there’s historical communities of black people living on the southeastern islands in the US and why my father grew up in the swamps of Alabama during the 50s and 60s.

The gentrification of coastal property and seafood, like lobster, is a very recent phenomenon in human history, starting in the late 70s early 80s with the booming tourism industry and increasing globalization.

So while I understand that the joke here is meant to be reflective of our current understanding of lobster being a status symbol, in universe, it’s the equivalent of Eugene getting excited for chicken nuggets instead of his usual bowl of cereal because the story takes place before the 20th century.

This means that these kids are so poor that fucking mcdonald’s fast food would be considered a rare treat compared to the slop they usually eat. Yet again what is meant to be a lighthearted joke turns suddenly dark when you stop to think about it for all of two seconds all because the writers are so flippant about their world and characters.

This Wasn’t Planned Out, So the Timeline Doesn’t Add Up Anymore and Resources are Wasted

Remember the flashback in The Return of Strongbow?

Now I need you to remember that season three is two years later from season one and the movie. Eight years ago then, would be ten years ago now.

The Eugene and Lance in the bottom picture is suppose to be roughly the same age as the Eugene and Lance in the top picture; give or take a few months.

I know teenage boys can grow fast, but not that fast.

Eugene at 16 looks the same as he does at 26. All because the writers were too lazy to preplan things out ahead of time.

We should have seen the teen models with recasted voices back during that first flashback if they were going to tell this story later. Or the previous plot point should have been less than eight years ago.

In fact the first flashback no longer makes any sense being so many years ago given Eugene’s engagement and recent breakup with Stalyan, and the later reveal that he was working for the Baron during the original movie.

Sloppy planning like this not only makes for a confusing timeline but it also wastes limited resources. I like the new models, I like the actors cast for these younger roles, and I do like the concept of seeing more of Eugene’s past. But going through all of that trouble and money for what amounts to one throw away episode is mismanagement of the budget and work schedule.

Baby Varian Is the Episode’s Only Saving Grace

I know people are divided on the deign here. Some love it and some hate it, but that’s a personal taste thing. The actual scene itself is golden either way, because it’s such a funny eater egg. Fans on both sides made memes out of this for days. It’s legendary.

Personally I’m more in the ‘love it’ camp, though I can see the issues people have with the design. My main defense of it is more the fact that we got kid designs for the other OCs in the show and it’s only fair Varian got one as well. The fact that he’s in smaller versions of the S1 clothes doesn’t bother me anymore than when Lance ran around for two seasons in the same outfit, including when he was a kid.

So if I like it, then why am I talking about it a salt review?

Cause the most memorable part of an episode shouldn’t be a throw away gag!

People bring up baby Varian way more than they do about anything else in the episode, and no it’s not just because the character popular. It’s because most would like to forget what comes after this scene.

Where is Quirin, by the Way?

Why is your six year old son running around the big city unsupervised?

This wouldn’t get talk about as much it wasn’t for the fact that Quirin being neglectful in season one was a motivating factor in his conflict with Varian. A conflict that was suppose to be resolved back in Rapunzel’s Return but we the audience have yet to visually see any difference in behavior since then.

Quirin’s absence here in the past highlights his absence in the present day and reminds the audience aware that we’ve not been given a satisfying conclusion to one of the most important arcs in the series.

Lets Talk About Wasted Potential

Like I said, I like the idea of exploring Eugene’s past. But we should have gotten that back in season two when it was more relevant. Part of why this episode fails is because Eugene has reached the end of his original character development. He’s now on an identity crisis arc which has nothing to do with this episode.

But you know who still hasn’t finished developing? Rapunzel.

Rapunzel has lots to still learn and viewing her past through outside eyes could have turned this story into something really special. Especially with the ‘inhabiting another body’ plot point.

You have no end of options here,

Have Raps inhabit Cassandra’s body for a day and gain insight into what motivates her. It could have been either before or after they met, both offers up possibilities.

Have Raps inhabit Eugene’s body and experience what he had to deal with growing up and come to see his point of view. (This could have also worked with the Sabbingtons set up had the writers not been stupid.)

And my personal favorite, send her back to right after Queen for a Day and have her stuck in either Varian’s or Ruddiger’s bodies. Force her to see what she did to him and have her acknowledge she was wrong.

And those are just the most obvious choices, there’s other more out of left field things you can do that would still work with good writing. Like exploring Lady Caine’s past, inhabiting Arianna’s body and learning how to be a real queen, get dumped into actual young Gothel and lay out clues to the future Zhan Tiri plot, or possess one of the Brotherhood and experience the final days of the Dark Kingdom; the list just goes on and on and on.

But I Thought You Didn’t Put Kids in Jail Frederic?

Remember that Raps and Pascal are possessing the Stabbingtons who are still teenagers here. They can’t be much older than Varian.

This means that Varian isn’t some special case. Teens have received harsh and deadly punishments in the past for non-violent crimes like theft.

Also teens are called kids still by the majority of the cast. They’re aren’t considered adults with the same rights as someone in say their twenties, yet they can be punished the same as an adult would. Which is horrendous in any time period.

So in conclusion, Frederic is a fucking liar!

Tangled the Series can’t decide if it’s in the far past or a reflection of the modern day. As such it winds up supporting the worst of both worlds. Barbaric practices like hanging for minor crimes and prison slave labor are treated as the norm and never called out for the horrific things that they are; treated as a joke even, but we’re suppose to accept that this world also somehow views adolescence through the lens of late 20th century sensibilities even as it forces minors to go through such atrocities.

Like what are you trying to say show? What is your message on the transition of adolescence to adulthood regarding rights and responsibilities? And don’t tell me ‘it’s not that deep’ because this is suppose to be a coming of age show! That’s the entire premise of the series!

So How Old Are Stan and Pete Again?

I was always under the impression that Pete was a newbie guard, closer to Cass and Eugene’s age than say Cap or Frederic. That’s why he screws up so much because he’s inexperienced, why he seemed to be the closest thing to a equal colleague Cass had in the guard when she was also just starting out, and why I assumed those braided girls from the movie were his sisters.

I mean there was nothing on screen previously that would necessarily contradict this reveal, it just doesn’t feel right, that’s all. I guess he could be like 20 here and be 30 in the show. That would make him only a few years older than Eugene, but still doesn’t explain why he’s so useless a decade later.

I’m fine with Stan being here though. I always thought of him being the older of the two. In fact I headcannon Willow as his mysterious wife that he talked about back in Monty’s episode during season one. (She’s Stan and Pete’s beard, and they’re totally in a open poly relationship. That’s why they’re allowed to stay in the royal guard despite being so incompetent cause they’re technically Ferderic’s in-laws and Rapunzel’s uncles. Just no one ever talks about it cause it’s a minor sandal for a princess to marry lower class and Willow’s hardly ever there.)

And Why Does Xavier Have All Those Plot McGuffins?

I know we’ll never get an answer, but at this point Xavier’s exposition fairy powers border upon ridiculousness. It’s just lazy and a waste of character.

So How Does Time Travel Work In This?

There are three types of time travel stories in fiction.

First is the ‘Changeable Past, Changeable Future’. You see this in Back to the Future. What you do in the past will change the future, i.e. your present. You may or may not remember that you did it, but be warned you could change things too much and break stuff. Like erasing yourself from existence, or ruining your love life ect. The only way to fix it is to go back in time again and change stuff again. But beware of paradoxes or you may destroy the universe altogether.

The second is the ‘Alternate Timeline’, where changing things creates new realties and it’s a matter of finding the right reality again. The tv show Sliders is a great example of this. Each new timeline is a different dimension. What you do in one won’t effect your original point of origin, only that particular world. The challenge if often getting home again because the probable diverging timelines are infinite and the changes of getting back are a zillion to one.

Third is the ‘Closed Time Loop’. No matter what you do nothing will change. The future is inevitable and whatever you do in the past was always meant to happen anyways. Gargoyles handles this really well. You can also have ‘fix points’ where certain important things are set in stone but small things can be changed like in several Doctor Who episodes. Braking a fix point breaks the universe once again, while paradoxes are often the solution rather than the threat.

So which type of time travel is Tangled dealing with here?

Scenes like the conversation regarding Pete’s and Stan’s mustache or the ones involving Eugene working on his smolder suggest a closed time loop. Yet the ending to this episode reveals a changed future. Further still the grandfather paradox revolving around the hourglass would make you think an alternate timeline yet, we’ve no indication that anything else changed other then Eugene’s opinions on Cass, and Raps shows no concern about getting back to her original point in time indicating that it actually isn’t another dimension.... so what is it then?

You don’t have to have a tightly plotted time travel story to have an entertaining piece of media. Endgame is riddled with plot holes and contradicts itself constantly, but what it lacks in coherent plot it makes for with fun characters, emotional story beats, and good pacing that manages to balance the action with the drama while hiding the cracks just enough that you don’t lose immersion.

Tangled however fails at even this because it gets the character beats so fundamentally wrong. Like you may dislike where the characters ended up in Endgame, but can’t say that those developments didn’t match the characters’ previous storylines and logical trajectory. Tony finally becomes the selfless hero by committing the ultimate sacrifice, Steve learns self care as a mirror to Tony’s arc as they were always parallels to each other, Bruce learns to accept himself, Thor processes his grief and lets go of the role he was assigned at birth but never truly fit into, and Nat becomes the leader she was destined to be rather than the sidekick.

What happens to the characters in this episode however makes no sense.

This is Another Missed Opportunity to Explore Eugene’s Past

The other problem behind the episode is that we don’t actually learn anything new. If you’re going to promise a story focusing on Eugene’s past then I expect to actually glean some new insights.

We still don’t know why he’s working with Baron or how he fell in/fell out with him, what his relationship with Stalyan is like, how he became so cynical; not just the general basics, like the orphanage, but that point in his life where decided that survival meant giving up his morals and ethics; where did he first learn his better ethics that he originally suppressed (cause it sure as heck wasn’t Rapunzel), and when did he and Lance become separated?

This are questions that series decides to raise by making allusions to them and building conflicts off of them but never wants to explain the details of where they originated from. It’s super frustrating and wholly unnecessary. If you didn’t think the story of Eugene’s past worth telling then why did up repeatedly bring it up Chris?

Why Are You Surprised by This Rapunzel?

Rapunzel you know Eugene’s past. You know what he used to be like. You were literally there in the movie and saw him being an ass before this. You didn’t start to like him until he dropped his guard down in the flooded cave back when you both where about to die.

You fell in love with him when he showed you his real self and he fell in love with you when you proved that you were accepting of that. You earned each others’ trust. This here; angrily yelling at him and judging him, when you’re already hiding who you really are from him both literally and figuratively, is a breaking of that trust.

Who the fuck are you any more, Rapunzel?

Cause you’re not the same character from the movie. You’re not even the same character from season one. But whoever hell you are now, it’s not an improvement I can tell ya that.

So How Did The Hourglass Go From the Treasury to the Basement Storage, and How Would Raps Know It Was There At This Point and Time?

I’m guessing the implication here is that Crowley put Cass’s stuff in the vault, but like why the fuck would she do that? We’re not talking about a family attic here, but the royal safe. The most heavily guarded room in the castle with the kingdom’s most priceless treasures and antiques. Nothing Cass owned was that valuable.

Rapunzel Is Full of Shit

Oh let me count the numerous ways in which this whole lecture is stupid.

Rapunzel left Varian behind. Rapunzel left Varian behind multiple times, including that time he was thrown in jail. She was not a good friend, and no, this is not a case of her learning from her past because not once has she ever admitted that she was wrong to do that. So this scene just makes Raps look like a hypocrite.

Eugene does not need to relrean a lesson on being a better a person. He did that during the movie and has progressed beyond that point. This ‘lesson’ is a waste of time and a misuse of the characters.

This reframes Rapunzel as being in the right during her argument with older Eugene at the beginning of the episode, even though she’s not. In fact this is such a counterintuitive plot point that it boggles the mind. Who structures a narrative this way? Why so blatantly point out how the main character is wrong if not to have her learn something? Why frame the story to make the person who’s personal conflict isn’t even the episode’s focus, into the one who needs to learn something? Especially if that something is already a lesson that they’ve learned on screen beforehand.

And why, oh good heavens why, would you teach children such a toxic message? Like on the surface it sounds like something you’d hear in a children's show, but the context of it is justifying harmful behavior where you selfishly ignore other people’s wishes and boundaries just to satisfy you’re own personal desires.

And finally, Eugene and Lance do not work as a parallel to Raps and Cass. Cassandra is an adult who left of own free will. Lance is a teenager who was arrested due to Rapunzel’s own actions. Eugene isn’t the one who is responsible here, its Rapunzel. Who also left them both behind in her carelessness. Secondly, Eugene’s decisions are spurned by years of trauma and a healthy fear of dying, while Rapunzel’s is wrapped up in her own need to always be right and to keep her immature and fanciful outlook of the world intact. As harsh as it seems, what Eugene did was based off a predetermine agreement and presumably Lance would have acted the same way or been pressured to act the same way by Eugene. In short, Eugene’s cynical world view as a teen is not the source of his disagreement with Rapunzel but an adult perspective back by common sense and a respect of others choices. It makes no sense for present day Eugene to ‘learn’ anything from this misadventure that he didn’t already know and for Rapunzel to not learn anything that would actually tie the parallel together.

Locking Another Teen Inside a Jail Cell With Another Adult as a Joke, Does Not Erase the Inappropriateness of Varian’s Story

The episode tries to add another joke about Shorty sneaking into the prison without the guard knowing, but that still doesn’t excuse the fact someone had to have tossed Lance in there with him on purpose. Otherwise Lance wouldn’t have assumed Shorty was a fellow prisoner if he or the guard that locked him up saw Shorty sneak in before then.

Furthermore Lance’s nonchalant response suggests this is not an out of the ordinary occurrence. Nor do any of the other guard comment upon the irregularly of teens being jailed with an adult. Now add in the fact that the show fails to clarify that previous ‘cellmate’ line from Rapunzel’s Return and now gives us more confirmation that Varian was underfed and malnourished for a year with that gruel joke and you have a horrifying picture.

Shorty might be non-threating, but that doesn’t mean Andrew, a known attempted murderer and manipulator, is too. Nor any other adult who previously was housed with a teen before then. This is still very much not okay and no amount of ‘jokes’ will suddenly make it right.

Raps, Who is an Adult, Just Physically Threatened Two Teenaged Boys and It’s Played as a Joke....

How many times do I have to say it? Humor does not fix bad writing. I’m not laughing when a heroine at age 20, threatens a couple of kids for merely annoying her. Especially when said heroine has a history of abusing children; because let me repeat once again, neglect is abuse!

This is a Lie

No you wont.

Rapunzel never tells Eugene what happens on screen. I suspect that if she ever did, they would no longer be together, because what she wound up doing here was a violation of trust and boundaries in the worst possible way.

And This is Now a Time Paradox

A Grandfather Paradox to be specific. How can Rapunzel be here in the past to break the hourglass if the hourglass that sent her here is broken?

In a competent series this would be the point of a future conflict and not the actual resolution. It’s not a closed time loop because of the paradox and the changes we’ll see in the future.

So either she’s in an alternate timeline/dimension and just doesn’t gives a shit; leaving the real Eugene, Lance, Cass, ect. to go on without her; or she’s just broke the universe and everything is slowly unraveling around her; galaxies are dying as she whines about being dumped, people in the future are being eased from existence, and God is cursing her name for ruining his creation, all the while she carries on oblivious to the destruction in her wake, as usual.

That’s it. Those are you’re only two options now. Is everyone from here on a fake copy or is Rapunzel the damned destroyer of worlds? You decide.

So This Confirms That the Stabbingtons are Indeed “Family”

Another reason why I place this before Return of the King; it explains why Eugene considers the Stabbingtons ‘family’. Though if it was Rapunzel he actually bonded with and not the real Sideburns, then how much of his feelings are real and how much of them were fabricated by her? How much agency did this episode steal from him?

So What Exactly Did We All Change?

Well the dummy no longer has Eugene’s face, but Cass’s painting of the three of them still has him ripped out of the photo, soo... Keeping in mind that Raps painted the dummy anyways and considering that Moonandra tries to kill him later on; I’m going to guess that Cass’s feelings weren’t actually altered. If anything their relationship might actually be worse now, cause Cassandra keeps acting like she’s never had friends and Eugene has taken up Rapunzel’s blind devotion.

All that development in season one is just, poof, gone. Also it’s quite possible that the first movie as well has now it has been erased from existence as Eugene got his needed character development eight years too early. How the hell that’s suppose to work, I don’t know.

Outside of the that we get no confirmation how anybody else was effected, even though a more brainwashed Eugene running around would undoubtedly have caused a butterfly effect. Don’t expect that to be explored anytime soon.

Though, it would explain why he’s suddenly such a doormat in season three, if this was the second episode as theorized.

No! This is the Wrong Lesson!!!

Let me explain narrative promises.

Everyone, on some basic fundamental level, understands how stories work. We hear them recounted to us over and over again from the day we're born to the day we die. It’s integral to how we communicate as human beings. Everyone knows innately how to tell a story even if that person couldn’t tell you how stories or structured or what certain literary terms mean, but they do it every day just through speaking. And while most audiences can’t always pin point what upsets them about a story they can for sure notice when things are off and not satisfying to experience.

Now that doesn’t mean that everyone can write an awarding winning novel, that study of a craft isn’t important, nor that every amateurish critique thrown at any given media is valid. But it does mean that people have come to expect certain storytelling practices and can pick up on narrative cues. We’ve familiarized ourselves with the language of film, novels, comics, ect, into order to comprehend what’s going on.

Rules of writing are just following that established language so that the audience can keep up. You can break these rules, sure, but unless you know what you’re doing and have a good narrative reason to do so, then you can easily lose you’re audience. And if you’re making money off said audience that’s something you want to avoid.

A narrative promise is a cue; a set up that lets the audience know that ‘hey this is important, pay attention to this cause it’ll come back into play later’. Now that the audience has been alerted to the plot point they expect fulfillment of the promise. If you break that promise, either through poor set up, lack of follow through, or by breaking an established convention of writing for no other reason then because you just wanted to, your audience is going to walk away unsatisfied.

The argument at the beginning of the episode was a narrative promise. It was a cue that set up the interpersonal conflict of the main character. For add context, I know that this is a coming of age story. Convention would dictate that the protagonist would resolve this conflict by learning they were wrong.

That’s not what happened here.

Convention was subverted. It wasn’t the protagonist who grew and change, it was the person they were in conflict with who did. And it wasn’t subverted because of any greater narrative reason, or future pay off, or even as effort to be shallowly ‘clever’; it was subverted because the author just didn’t want to hold the main character accountable for anything. Because said character has now become his avatar for his wish fulfillment fantasy and having the main character admit fault would be to admit fault in ones own self. Rapunzel doesn’t feel like Rapunzel this season because she’s just Chris in a wig.

The episode broke a narrative promise to the audience; both within the episode and in the greater premise of the story, because of ego.

I don’t claim this episode is bad just because of personal taste nor because I find it morally repulsive (even though both those things are true), I call it bad because it exhibits bad writing. Plain and simple.

Way To Undermine The Entire Point of the Original Movie, Show

Speaking of breaking narrative promises....

TTS is suppose to be a squeal to the original movie. It’s even in the title of the show; both of them. In one fell swoop, the series has managed to sabotage it’s very reason for existing, as it erases Eugene’s motivation and the inciting incident that kick started the film.

Way to fucking go.

To further twist the knife, it diminishes the duel protagonist of said film in order to prop up a series original character, who isn't even present in the episode itself.

I don’t mind Cassandra’s existence. I don’t even mind her being the new deuteragonist and one of the main villains; even though she wouldn’t have been my first pick to fulfill those roles given her lack of set up. But I do fucking mind it if she upstages other characters and/or derails their character arcs in the process.

This is the Death of New Dream

I was still in denial when this episode first aired. I honestly believed that this and The Return of the King was build up to a third “betrayal” where Eugene finally became fed up with Rapunzel’s bullshit and joined forces with Zhan Tiri. I thought the end of the series would have Rapunzel apologize to everyone she did wrong, Varian, Cass, and Eugene, in order to break ZT’s hold on them, and that true love’s kiss would reunite the sundrop and the moonstone and that would just tie everything together into a neat little bow and give us a truly daring character study of a Disney hero.

Oh dear merciful heavens, was I ever wrong.

How did we go from season one’s challenging and mature storyline, complete with Disney’s first real anti-villian, to this?!

What the hell happened!?

Rapunzel not only disrespects Eugene’s opinions, violates his privacy and trust as she manipulates him as a teen, and then brainwashes him to think like her (even if accidentally), but doesn’t even have good grace to tell him. She instead has the audacity to look all happy and self congratulatory because she got want she wanted. She, and the show at large, doesn’t care what evil thing she does to get the desired outcome Rapunzel wants.

Rapunzel in this show is a spoiled brat. And the image of her and her now lobotomized boyfriend staring dead eyed at a picture of the creator’s previous waifu OC with plastic smiles on their faces, sums up this series perfectly.

Conclusion

This isn’t even the worst episode of the series guys. I don’t know if it would even make it onto a bottom five list. That’s how much crap I have to wade through when it comes to this show. This is however the most damaging episode to the franchise as a whole.

Not even the most hardcore of New Dream fans want to acknowledge the existence of that final scene, and Rapunzel stans won’t defend her beyond, ’well she didn’t mean too, it’s the writing that’s bad.’ Yeah, the writing is bad, that’s why the character can’t and shouldn’t be defended, not here and not in other badly written episodes where she also does bad things and never makes up for it.

Anyways I’m finally caught up to where I left off, before the move, though sadly I don't think I’ll get this series done by the end of the month like I had originally hoped. But if you would like to help out I have a ko-fi you can drop a tip into if ya want.

https://ko-fi.com/rachelbethhines

#tangled #tangled the series #rapunzel's tangled adventure #Eugene #anti-rapunzel #anti-tangled

92 notes · View notes

phoenixfire-thewizardgoddess · 3 years

Text

if you have a question about aussie slang, for a fic or whatevs, please just ask i don't know all of it, but we do have some fun words and sayings that are day to day statements

esp. the more rural you go

not everyone has the full accent though, because you do get a lot of pressure at work to come across... professional or whatever.

the only one i've never been sure of being an Actual Phrase, or if it Became A Phrase after popularisation on a tv show, is "Stone the Flaming Crows" bc a dude from Neighbours used to say it frequently.

examples of day to day stuff i can think of right now

mad as a frog in a sock (angry about something, went off, off the shits)

mad as a cut snake (usually means 'they're nuts', but can also mean they exploded with anger, usually contextual)

she'll be right (it's fine - can be a flippant statement, can be reassurance, etc)

drongo / galah - (idiot, not very smart, wanker, etc)

dunny = toilet

thunderbox/outhouse / long-drop - usually outdoor toilet

dry as a nun's nasty / dry as a dead dingo's donger (I am thirsty, or It Is Hot AF/we need rain so bad)

chuck a u-ey (do a u-turn)

Oi! (Hey I want your attention/i was surprised, general exclamation, stop that, you are in a lot of fucking trouble mate - depends on the tone of voice and volume) like "OI!" says aunty ruth has just found her dentures in jello and she knows you did it, etc

Bugger off (go away, or sometimes a statement of disbelief)

Yeah nah /Nah yeah (can mean yes, no or maybe depending on what was said directly before the statement)

you cant pull the wool over my eyes - you can't lie to me like that / i can see you are not telling the truth

shut your gob / put a sock in it / put a cork in it - (shut up / shut the FUCK up / close your mouth or i will shut it for you) depends on tone

Ya wally (you idiot)

Roo = kangaroo

o = can be affixed to anything to shorten it at the servo - gone to the service station, arvo - afternoon, smoko - morning tea, bottlo - where the grog is

goon/goonsack - wine in a box

grog - alcohol

stubbie - beer, ususally

boardies - board shorts

rashie - swimming shirt,

slip, slop, slap - ancient proverb for avoiding sunburn. singing pelican.

thongs - footwear

sheila = female / woman, don't hear this a lot at the moment tbh except in certain contexts or from specific people

'Getting rowdy' = things are heating up, people are riled up, a fight is about to/has just broken out, etc.

DJ's like a mad cunt = one very specific meme about a bad PM we had like 10 years ago. i can't tell you how many PM's ago, it's been game of thrones here lmao

Beyond the black stump / Out whoop-whoop / references to timbuktu (quite a distance away)

strewth!/crickey!/bloody hell - (exclamation of surprise, expletive replacement, etc)

flat out like a lizard drinking (tired / drunk / exhausted / sleeping)

pull a harry holt - (I've heard a dozens variations of this one, it means Go Missing / Disappear, often used as a joke. PM Holt went swimming one day and disappeared)

have a stickybeak (to poke your nose in/investigate/look around)

chuck a wobbly/throw a tanty/chuck a tanty/throw a wobbly (throw a tantrum, i have legit never seen anyone successfully deescalate a situation by telling someone not to chuck a wobbly or throw a tanty, go figure lmao)

bogan - (very specific kind of low-income, generally white, people. sort of like rednecks, but with more stereotypical aussie features like a mullet, singlet tops, sunnies, stubbies, etc. tend to fall under the liberal party ideology - who are our republicans... )

ankle-biters / rugrats / little takkers / gremlins / nippers - (kids, usually the littler ones)

tiff - argument, small fight (had a tiff, had a row)

pav = pavlova

piss/whizz/take a piss = going to pee

vegemite - delicious

Kiwi = New Zealander

Banana benders - the disrespectful bs that apparently other states call anyone living in Queensland, the wankers

station - farming areas that have sheep or livestock usually, have farmhands etc.

dole bludger(s) - (anyone on Centrelink, whether they want to be or not, with no other employment. but like, a lot of people on centrelink have a job that does not cover enough and need additional financial supports to meet a minimum wage, or are students or apprentices, etc. there are people who go on centrelink on and off to avoid engaging in the jobseeking stuff, they are the real dole bludgers, but a lot of richer people tend to call anyone on 'welfare' bludgers)

don't you come the raw prawn with me - (do not lie to me / don't try that shit with me, mate / I wasn't born yesterday /etc)

dak/dack - to dack someone is to come up behind them and yank their pants down (or skirts). Often taking out your boxers, too.)

budgie smugglers - (speedoes, male swimwear)

togs/toggs or cozzie (swimwear, any kind. cozzie = costume)

mozzie - (mosquito)

better than a kick up the backside /better than a kick in the arse - (pretty self explanatory, one of those phrases parents use to get slightly hurt kids to start laughing and/or coworkers to commisserate about new work rules, etc)

I wouldn't piss on (name) if they were on fire - (self-explanatory, you hate them, or they're a useless tit or an insufferable person /a suckup etc, and you would gladly hand them a match)

one for the road = getting a drink for the road, usually. can also make a joke of it like, "one last piss for the road" = I'm going to the bathroom before I leave

here's your handbag, what's your hurry - probs not an aussie phrase but a common joke in my family

----------------

So like, there's some words and items from Australian Indigenous culture that often get used wrong in stereotypical characters, like saying 'gone walkabout', using 'cooee', making digeridoo jokes, and making some really uncomfy 'savages' statements can be very disrespectful. You might want to go looking into Australia's fucked up policies and historical (and only recent) situations before starting any arguments about this stuff... in many ways it mirrors the cruelty of american colonisers to native american peoples, etc.

Avoid some phrases. Your character gone to cool their head? He's gone off on to soak his head, or he's on his bike (gone away) but he'll be back... You can use 'Oi, dickhead!'

Please don't mock the names of towns or places, they are often the names from the traditional custodians and inhabitants.

-----------------

Random things:

We drive on the left side of the road, driver's side reversed.

More of our cars are automatic than manual. Utes aren't atypical, but bigger vehicles are out in rural areas because more than a few of the rural roads are poorly maintained or dirt, with potholes that yoyo your soul into your body.

If you have a character on a long drive on a non-highway, or rural road: +if you are on a one-lane road and someone is comingthe other way, you both move half-on, half-off; for big vehicles or trucks, you can choose to pull off completely and stop. Just for safety, esp. in rain, fog, mist or late at night. +at one-lane bridges, you have a give way sign on one side. if you want your characters to have a moment of 'pause to look at each other while driving' or 'a quiet moment of reflection', have them wait for another car or truck to pass from the other side. These can be a few metres long, to like, a really long bridge. +They may pass markers that say 'flood level marker' with numbers of 2, 3 or 5 metres. Could be useful to remark on if your fic needs a reason for them to have a crisis. +Bushfire warning signs (from Low to Catastrophic) are frequent +Animal Crossing signs are very frequent, and often have a wildlife rescue number on them +Water restriction signs are in most small towns, they range from levels 1 to 6. This can change what the characters are allowed to do with water in little towns, etc. +You may occasionally find a small servo and one or two houses. +pubs don't open/won't serve alcohol until after 10am. the joke has always been, 'beer on your cornflakes' but you will never be able to actually get that unless you preplanned the night before in your hotel room. +Around dawn and dusk, a lot of animals like hares, kangaroos, wallabies, sometimes echidnas and koalas and little numbat things, and snakes and bushmice will be close to the road. Sometimes dashing across. They do not react logically to cars approaching, and will leap out at random. Hares do this zigzag nonsense. If you need the character to hit the brakes frantically, or swerve, this is a good reason. If you are ever driving here and see an animal on the side of the road, flip lights to low beam, slow down and watch to see how they react. If you can. If there's a truck blaring down on you, you may not be able to.

+Emus are in more rural areas. Echidnas sometimes appear on fringes of towns though.

+Kookaburras are a lovely creature, I have rescued a few and they are nice... but their laugh is very grating when it goes off super early in the morning. They eat snakes (good) and baby birds (not so good).

+Lots of snakes round here. LOTS. Carpet Snakes are pretty common, red-belly black snakes, eastern brown (big danger!!!), whip snakes have declined in my region, keelback snakes, this one black and white banded one we found deceased, etc. Snakes can climb, snakes can SWIM. Putting something that stinks around a campsite MAY help, but not always.

+Never go swimming in a dam you don't own, and that hasn't been checked, and if no one knows where you are. How deep is it? What's on the bottom? How stirred is the water? etc.

+Kangaroos CAN drown you. They have perfected this attack, and will do it to humans, dogs and other pursuers alike. They can also eviscerate you with their hind paws or shatter your ribs with a kick. The 'boxing' they do is exceptionally violent. This seems to surprise people, but like, giraffes can kill each other by slamming their heads into each other, you think a 7 ft swole motherfucking cryptid can't do harm? They can be lovely tho, if they trust you. But DO NOT GO PETTING WILDLIFE.

+Dropbears, austrilanicus vericanthus bitus, are real. We do make jokes about them, but they are a Problem. The pee on yourself thing won't ward them off, that's more about working out which tourists are the most gullible (and if they run with it, the moistest) lmao. Akubras and other thicker-layered headwear,

+We have wild dogs and feral pigs. Do not fuck with the feral pigs, some are HUGE, and no... they're not just pigs who escaped farms, these are MASSIVE motherfuckers who will Get You if they See You. Rustling in the night outside the tent? Good Luck.

+Koalas should not be picked up directly. They have claws, and a lot of them have chamydia. I mean if a character saves one in a fic that's fine I guess, but like... someone's getting antibiotics after that lmao. They are bigger than you think, dumber than you think, and sometimes they have to be chased across a highway with a windscreen cover bc they're not very bright and keep failing to climb metal fences, lmaoooo

+Towns of about 20-30k will have more shops (some franchise, some local owned), servos, fast food places and usually at least two to three shopping centres. Usually small level entertainments like a cinema, or local groups. +Towns with 10-20k, may have one or two major shopping centres, servos (tracks and RVs catered to), possibly a maccas, and the majority of stores will be local-owned. May have a cinema, but not one that has the newest releases. Local council may have more festivals, or 'that one thing they're known for'. +0-10k towns have a small local store, prices usually a bit higher. A servo, often with capacity for trucks. Local festivals. Characters can cop a bit of side-eye in these places, esp. if they don't fit the traditional ideas or are loud/violently american. +Grey nomads are a thing. Old people with fancy caravans who drive So Slow, and move all around aus. Several refused to stop during covid and it was like, WHO DO YOU THNK WE'RE TRYING TO KEEP ALIVE BY STOPPING YOU MOVING THROUGH MULTIPLE TOWNS???

+Some rural areas have legit red dirt, its always super cool to look at. Some places have light brown to dark brown, some have more chalky colours or yellowish dirt. Depends.

+Reminder: Australia has very specific gun laws, if your character/s have weapons then they may need to be sneaky or store them specifically in the vehicle. Although if you're talking about like, mad max type rules, then who cares. But if you have them get into a gun fight in a town, the police will come, etc.

Dunno, just ask if you have a question... just trying to think of random things to paint a picture if you have a character over here for a roadtrip or mission or whatever.

10 notes · View notes

the-bloody-masquerade · 4 years

Text

Bloodlines 2 - They/Them Pronouns and Trans and Asexual Representation

There has been some discussion recently regarding information that was presented in a recent podcast interview given by Bloodlines 2 writers Brian Mitsoda and Cara Ellison. I think it is important to know what was and what was not said and understand it in context so I would like to provide a transcript to the passages in question for us to reference as we continue to have discourse around the issue.

I also want to try to give a little more insight as to why they/them pronouns were not able to be added to the game as there are some substantial programming concerns when it comes to adding conditional content that cannot be accessed in versions of the game where the language used only has two pronouns instead of three.

This comes from episode 22 of The RE:BIND Podcast. Published on June 22nd, 2020. The interviewer is Emily Rose, the interviewees are Cara Ellison and Brian Mitsoda, lead co-writers of Bloodlines 2 (Mitsoda having been the original Writer on Bloodlines 1)

Character Creation and Pronouns (passage starts at 1:14:45)

Note: [...] denotes a false start or when they start their sentence over a couple times.

Emily: In Bloodlines 2, how is character creation being handled in terms of gender?

Cara: Oh, character creation. So, one of the major problems we have is, and actually this is not unique to us, but the entire industry, is that localization severely limits the way you can write characters and we’re actually coming up against this problem now even though we have made a bunch of decisions on like how you refer to the player character and the characters in our game. But like, a major problem that we always have in video games is that English has a way to refer to people who don’t want to have a gender. And a lot of languages around the world, don’t have that.

Brian: Currently, there’s like, movements in some languages to get that.

Cara: Right like, so if your Quebecois, there’s a term that’s like generally recognized as being ‘they’ that you can use, but a lot of languages might have people who for example are agender, but the terms that they use to refer to themselves are not thoroughly recognized throughout their language and country. And that provides us with a humungous problem because we are making a game about Seattle, and there are a large number of people who live in Seattle who don’t want to have a gender or don’t want to be referred to as a particular gender or they frankly don’t identify as a particular thing, so we represent those characters like we normally would, but we run into a bunch of problems when we try to localize. So like, in the character creation section what we decided was the best option for us is to essentially let you create the way your character looks in like, entirely separate of gender, so you can make your character look any way you like as masculine or as feminine or whatever you like. […] You basically can then say ‘I want to be referred to as ‘he’ or I want to be referred to as ‘she,’ and that’s the option that we give you. The reason we don’t give you the they/them option is because […] I think there are four or five languages that can do this, but a lot of European languages can’t refer to the player character as ‘they’ or ‘them’ because they have to choose one or the other, so, we ended up not being able to do the they/them option for the character creation. So we basically tried to give you a way of expressing yourself and how you look, whatever, but we do end up actually asking you to specify ‘he’ or ‘she’ because it actually is just the way we had to do it for localization. […] For example, when I worked at MiniMolecule they had the exact same problem and it’s a problem of scale as well, because if the scale was just like we only release in English, we could have done the third option, we just couldn’t do it. And also because, we actually systemically throughout the game, its structured to be able to like have lots of interactions based on your identity so we had to sort of choose that early on, so it kind of got structured that way as well. But we do have main characters in the game who do not have a defined gender, and at least if you play the game in English they will be referred to as ‘they.’ We did have the option for NPCs at least in English, to have that referent, but unfortunately, we were very limited by localization on that point. And we’re not the only game that’s limited by that, but as this is kind of more, this kind of specific thing in language rolls out across lots more languages I think actually it will become easier to do this over a time, I think, as well. I’m hoping, at least.

TLDR; You will create your characters appearance separate from physical sex or gender and then you will pick he/him or she/her pronouns. The reason why they/them is not being included is because most of the languages that the game is being localized in do not have a 3rd/gender neutral set of pronouns and [presumably] would require all version of the game that only include 2 pronouns (because of language) to have their dialogue systems reworked/separately programmed.

This is a bit different than “they should just put they/them in the English localization then.” If pronouns will be a character creation option that probably means they will be set up as a content trigger, which is what determines which voice and text lines you get (to correspond to your gender). For languages that only have two pronouns, what would you do with that third content trigger representing the they/them pronouns? They also talked content “structured to to be able to have interactions based on your identity.” If there were interactions that were only triggered by the they/them choice in character select, this content would effectively be lost in localizations that only had two pronouns in character select, (barring a comprehensive structural overhaul for regions with only two pronouns)

The quicker way to do this would just be to have most NPCs use as little gendered language as possible to make most lines an content universal/not have to trigger alternate text/content based on the pronoun choice, but then this may defeat the purpose of being able to customize your PC’s gender and pronouns to begin with. I do not mean to be an apologist. Gender neutral pronouns in RPGs are frankly overdue as an industry standard it is disheartening to hear that they/them will not be a choice in Vampire the Masquerade Bloodlines 2. I just wanted to try and elaborate on why the inclusion/exclusion of gender neutral pronouns in a game slated for world release is from a programming standpoint more involved that one may at first think.

Trans Representation in Bloodlines 2 (1:19:37)

Emily: So obviously we have some kind of gender-nonconforming representation. What is there in terms of maybe more specific representation, like say, are there any transmen are there any transwomen? Anything like that. Is that brought up at any point during the game?

Cara: […] I think what we want to do in the future is, actually have some main characters be transmen or transwomen, but I don’t—unless the junior writers have actually—actually no the junior writers have written some characters new that we have specified to be trans. But I would have to check, unfortunately, I don’t think we have actually put anyone who’s trans into the game currently unless I’m forgetting about someone. But yeah, I think our plans are to do that, but we didn’t want to do it like we’re just oh, we’re gonna just put it in…

Brian: Yeah there’s definitely […] when you’re doing the [game] design stuff, you’re looking for a character that might fit for the scene or the quest or the story beat that you’re doing and so one thing I never want to do just try to shoehorn in everything that we want to do.

Cara: By the time I had joined the main cast had been very clearly defined, so we didn’t have the option to add a trans main character which is what we have wanted to do.

Brian: Yeah, I would also like it, if we do add a trans character, we can find a voice actor who’s also…

Cara: …trans as well.

Quests with Trans Themes and DLC (1:21:24)

(immediately follows last section)

Emily: That was gonna to be my next question, so that’s really good to hear actually. So I totally understand how it goes just in terms of like, the preplanning and establishing the world and things like that, and the main reason I bring it up in the first place is just because so much of Vampire does tend to gravitate around people’s identities their expressiveness with both their sexuality and who they are and so it’s just something that’s like kind of been kind of been some sort of undertone in the series for a long time so I was just curious how it was being handled in Bloodlines 2. Those are pretty sufficient answers.

[…a brief interlude where they talked about a random quest from Bloodlines 1]

(1:23:00)

Cara: We actually have a quest based on the idea of dysmorphia, like feeling like you’re trapped in your body and it doesn’t match the way you perceive yourself. A lot of our writing is based on what it actually feels like to be in this state of stasis when you weren’t expecting to feel that because it has happened suddenly to you. And so there are loads of issues that would be really valuable to explore in that way, and you know we have staff who are super interested in giving their input on that, so I think we should definitely approach it, we just haven’t actually put it in the game in terms of main characters. We wanna make a trans main character, I think that’s important to us. We’ve got some DLC coming up that we’re gonna like make a greater effort on that front, like its Seattle, it would be so weird if we didn’t have trans characters. [Note: Cara lives in Seattle currently.

Brian: Mmhmm

Cara: So, yeah. [to Brian] Ask Margaret as well, our voiceover director, if there are any trans actors that she would recommend we could cast for the role and maybe write it for them. So yeah.

Emily: So that’s the thing and even I struggle really to think of many games that have a trans character in a main role, let alone--I can’t actually think off the top of my head unless they’re very like micro indie stuff any games that feature like a trans woman protagonist. I think the last time I saw a transwoman in a game was I think I wanna say like Dishonoured 2, one of the semi-core side characters you encountered for one of the quests is a documented as trans.

Cara: And I think the Dishonoured 2 team really really really made a huge effort on that front to be able to represent a huge variety of different backgrounds of people. They were very interested in [doing that] from the start, so yeah I think there are like some games where it does matter too, and it really feels like the world is bigger when you actually provide those characters.

In-game Asexual Characters and Their Ideal Approach to Portraying LGBT+ characters. (1:25:29)

Cara: But yeah, like we have tried to represent asexuality as well in the game.

Emily: Good good.

Cara: We have characters who are asexual. Who are canon asexual. And yeah, […] We try as well, not to write it sort of clumsily, we don’t write characters that like, out themselves, because that’s not—

Brian: No, because generally someone does come up and say that immediately.

Cara: when you’re from a background that has been marginalized, you’re very aware of your own safety. Especially if a stranger who looks shady approaches you, like our characters, you’re not gonna like immediately say it. But we make it explicit that this is who they are, but not in a way like ‘Hi, I’m Cara! I’m transgender!’ You know?

Brian: Yeah, yeah.

Cara: I think some of the ways in which people have done it in the past have been a little clumsy so I’m very aware of that as well.

Brian: Yeah, I would never want to handle it in a way that’s like ‘The main thing about that character is that they are trans’ like that’s not right at all

Cara: I want the main thing about that person to be something that they’re interested in, like, actually like exploring with the player character and I think like, most people are coming from somewhere when they approach you and its not going to be about I want to talk about my…[they both trail off laughing,]

Brian: They probably want to talk about a way in which they’re going to fuck you over. Or get something from you, or get you to do something for them.

Cara: Yeah and I would love to write a trans character who is like really really interesting and really really involved in something and I don’t want it [their transness] to be their defining [feature].

Thank you for reading.

#vampire the masquerade #bloodlines 2 #vtmb2 #discourse #cara ellison #brian mitsoda #pronouns discourse #lgbt+ representation #vtmb2 pronouns discourse #dysphoria ment #dysphoria mention #dysmorphia ment #dysmorphia mention #vampire the masquerade bloodlines #vampire the masquerade bloodlines 2 #re:bind.io #re:bind podcast

49 notes · View notes

sapphicsaro · 5 years

Text

anya || civil war

hello all, I am starting a series where I write out the character of anya (nat and clint’s baby) and how I think she could have fit into the mcu films. up first is civil war, but i plan on doing them all soon! enjoy!

(reminder of who anya is)

--------

“Look at how big, mama!”

Natasha squeezed her daughter’s hand tightly, as they walked towards the “big building” in Vienna where Natasha was about to sign the Sokovia accords. “Yes, love, it is.”

To the public, this version of Natasha Romanoff was a sight to be seen. After the infamous Black Widow’s files were released to the public, they knew the assassin she was; they knew about her worst kills, harshest tortures, everything.

And now they also knew she was a mother.

Here she was, the mother master assassin, in business attire gripping tightly onto the hand of a two year old as she walked down surrounded by security.

Natasha didn’t want this. She didn’t want her daughter in the public, but after the chaos of Nigeria, the Avengers needed some good press right now. Fury had called her days before her decision to sign the accords had pressured her into doing this, stating how good it would be for the world to see this side of her, and in retrospect, the Avengers.

Natasha initially said no. But suddenly she changed her mind and early in the morning she snuck away with the Anya, getting her “camera ready” or whatever the hell that meant. She talked with Fury again, who walked her through the preplanned press answers, and she was more convinced to go.

There was one problem: Clint didn’t know any of this was happening.

In fact, he didn’t know his daughter was about to be on display to the entire world.

And now that it was happening, Natasha was second guessing herself. She glanced down to see Anya’s scared face looking at all the cameras. “Are you okay, Anya?”

Anya didn’t take her eyes off the cameras, “Ummm…”

“Do you want up?”

Anya didn’t answer, instead nodding, and Natasha picked her up. In her mother’s arms, Anya was drawn to her arrow necklace, playing with the pendant in her small hands.

Natasha placed a soft kiss to her daughter’s perfectly curled hair (that took forever to do) before walking to the cameras for her interviews. As the noise got louder, Anya curled more into her mother’s arms, snuggling close.

“Ms. Romanoff! Ms. Romanoff!”

Here we go.

They asked about the team. The accords. The catsuit? Really? Still?

And then came the questions she thought she was prepared for:

“How is your marriage to Clint Barton, AKA Hawkeye, being affected by the accords?”

It’s not.

“How is motherhood?”

Wonderful.

“Do you really believe two ex-spies are fit enough to be parents?”

Wow. That one got her. She took a deep breath, reminding herself that it was not wise to beat a man when she was on camera with her daughter in her arm, but boy did she want to.

“My daughter has two parents who will do anything to protect her. I am here today signing the accords to make this world a safer place for my child, and all the children.”

Just as she finished, Anya fidgeted in her arms, leaning in close to her mother’s ear, “Are we done?”

Natasha smiled and kissed her head, “Yes, маленький. No further questions, thank you.”

Natasha ignored the pleas for more screentime and strutted into the building, Anya still on her hip. The two year old looked up, mystified by all the glass around her. “Look mama!”

Natasha chuckled as she squeezed Anya closer to her chest and kissed her cheek, “It’s beautiful, Anya.”

A woman in a suit (who looked so young, you’d think she was twelve) spotted her and inform them that she would be assisting “Ms. Natasha Romanoff” today. The “Ms.” was new.

The not-twelve year old guided them towards the long anticipated room full of representatives from every country and showed them their seat. God, she hated this.

“Is there anything I can get for you, Ms. Romanoff?”

A gun. A knife. Blueprints for the sneakiest way out.

She looked at Anya who was still distracted by all the glass windows, “Do you have apple juice?”

The young woman smiled, “Of course, right away, Ms. Romanoff.”

“Mrs. Romanoff-Barton!” Oh that’s new. Hyphen Barton. She turned to the voice who was holding a clipboard and pen out for her, “I need you to sign here.”

Natasha grabbed the pen, quickly scribbling her signature and handing the pen back.

“Oh, I’m sorry. We need your full legal name.”

She glanced down at the sheet, above her scribble, in print: NATASHA ROMANOFF-BARTON. Wow. She never thought they could change her name.

This was all too domestic. Gross.

“Of course.” She quickly scribbled the rest. It was legible…enough. The clipboard boy walked away, and Natasha let out a sigh. She gave a small kiss to Anya’s head, who smiled widely back at her mother. “I hate this.”

Anya giggled, “I like it!”

“I’m glad,” Nat chuckled.

“I suppose neither of us is used to the spotlight.”

Natasha turned, seeing T’Challa, walking towards her and Anya. She gave him a small smile, “Well, it’s not always so flattering.”

“You seem to be doing alright so far,” he replies, glancing towards Anya. “This is your daughter? Anya, correct?”

Anya hid in her mother’s shoulder, and Natasha ran her free hand down her back, “Yes. She isn’t too fond of the spotlight either.”

T’Challa chuckled, “Considering you last trip to Capital Hill, I didn’t think you’d be particularly comfortable in this company.”

“I’m not.”

“That alone makes me glad you are here, Miss Romanoff.” No Barton. Nice.

Anya turned her head towards T’Challa, still resting her head tightly to her mother’s shoulder. T’Challa took this as a window in, and bent towards Anya, keeping enough distance to not startle the timid child, “Would you mind keeping on eye on this for me?” He held out a small golden keyring with a crystal pendant hanging from it, and handed it to Anya, who eyed it before grabbing it carefully.

She smiled, and nodded, gripping it tightly in her hands to inspect it intensely.

Natasha refocused on T’Challa, who seemed satisfied with his interaction with the small child in her arms. “Do you approve of all this?”

“The accords? Yes. The politics? Not really.”

Anya fiddled with the keyring, letting it jingle softly in her hand. Natasha pressed another kiss to her head. At this point, it was more for Natasha’s nerves than it was for Anya.

T’Challa sighed, “Two people in a room can get more done than a hundred.”

“Unless you need to move a piano.”

Natasha turned, seeing King T’Chaka walk towards the two.

“Miss. Romanoff.” He smiled towards her and Anya. “And child?”

Anya looked up, keeping the keyring close to her. Natasha nodded her head to her daughter, “Say hello, Anya.”

Anya’s cheeks turned a light shade of pink as she sheepishly let out a small “Hi.”

“What a beautiful girl. She will grow up strong like her mother,” He stated, gently patting the little girl’s back.

“King T’Chaka please allow me to apologize for what happened in Nigeria.”

“Thank you.” They exchanged a small smile. “Thank you for agreeing to all this. I’m sad to hear Captain Rogers would not be joining us today.”

Shit. “So am I.” Even after their talk, he refused to sign. Natasha thought that maybe Steve would budge, but he wouldn’t. And when she went home to pack, Clint said he agreed with Steve. It led to a huge argument, one that woke up little Anya. They let the argument subside for the night and slept with their child in between them. But the fight was far from over.

A voice suddenly spoke into the microphone, “Everyone, please be seated.”

“That is the future calling. Such a pleasure Miss. Romanoff.” T’Challa said, smiling at the two women before parting away with his father.

Natasha ran her hand along Anya’s back, “Little one, we have to sit and be quiet now, okay?”

Anya nodded, and held her finger to her mouth, “Quiet, mama.”

Natasha walked towards her assigned seat, well seats. She let Anya down, and the girl ran towards the chair where there was a way too fancy bottle filled with apple juice. Anya beamed and looked towards her mother for approval. Natasha nodded and took her seat next to Anya, who immediately grabbed the bottle and sipped from it.

“Now Anya, we must listen to King T’Chaka and stay silent. This is very important, can you do that?”

Anya nodded, “Yes Mama.” She revealed the keyring again, and smiled at her mother, “And watch.”

Natasha brushed her hand against Anya’s cheek, “Very good.”

——

As King T’Chaka spoke at the podium, Natasha intently focused on his words. She did feel immense remorse for what had happened in Nigeria. Their mission had not gone as planned, and before the Avengers, Natasha did not blink an eye at what she left behind. But now, she felt things. She had a husband who was soft, gentle and kind to her. And he had given her a daughter who she would genuinely kill anyone who even looked at her wrong for.

Natasha didn’t have this before. Before this life, she was the Black Widow: master assassin, the toughest to defeat, who selfishly killed for herself and didn’t care who got in her way. Now, she was the Black Widow: aka Natasha Romanoff-Barton, wife, mother, and, yeah, an Avenger but the girl one with the tight suit and no powers.

Domesticity ruined her reputation. Bastards.

All the media wanted to talk about with her was the “personal stuff” and “how hard it must be for her”; “she MUST need a break!”

Meanwhile, in reality, she would come home at 3am: exhausted, dirty and bruised from a mission, slide into bed, try to rest for three hours before waking up to feed and take care of a two year old and then repeat it all again.

She managed both. It wasn’t hard. Maybe a little tiring, but hard? Never.

In fact, Clint urged her to continue going on missions. She was grateful that after all the fighting, she got to crawl into bed with her husband (who even in his sleep instinctively pulled her into his chest) and know her little girl was safely asleep across the hall.

Fuck the media. She wouldn’t be written off as an emotional woman, no, she was still the same person she was before. But now, she had a reason to fight. And all two and a half feet of it was still seated quietly next to her, fascinated by the keyring and her mission to keep it safe.

Ha, imagine that: the daughter of two highly trained assassins was disciplined, who would’ve thought.

Natasha smiled at her “mini me” whose strawberry blonde hair was tucked neatly behind her ear, and turned back to hear King T’Chaka speak again.

“When stolen Wakandan Vibranium was used to make a terrible weapon, we in Wakanda were forced to question our legacy. Those men and women killed in Nigeria, were part of a goodwill mission from a country too long in the shadows. We will not, however, let misfortune drive us back. We will fight to improve the world we wish to join. I am grateful to the Avengers for supporting this initiative.”

Something wasn’t right. Natasha glanced over to T’Challa who had stolen her attention as he gathered nearer to the windows.

“Wakanda is proud to extend its hand in peace-“

No.

“EVERYBODY GET DOWN!”

In the matter of two seconds, Natasha was on the floor huddled over Anya, squeezing her tightly into her chest, covering every inch of her. The blast was so loud, her ears shook and she close her eyes tightly, practically crushing Anya with how hard her grip was. Glass flew everywhere and Anya screamed, tears flowing as she lay beneath her mother.

“MAMA!”

“Shhh, you’re okay, you’re okay, I’m right here, we’re okay-“

She was a broken record.

She clenched onto her daughter so tight as if easing her grip would lose her forever.

Anya’s tears flowed harder, as Natasha kept her close, continuing her assurances. “I got you, you’re okay, I promise, you’re okay, I got you…”

——

Anya sat on top of the gurney as paramedics checked her all over, as her mother insisted they did. Natasha was cleared as quickly as they could, she could lose a limb for all she cared as long as Anya was okay.

“Miss. Romanoff?”

She turned back to the young woman who was crouched near her daughter, who now had a piece of chocolate in her hands. “She’s all cleared. A slight cough from the fumes, but now that she’s in fresh air, that’ll go away real soon. She’s one tough little girl.”

Natasha placed a hand gently onto the girl’s shoulder, a peace offering for how harsh she may have been before, “Thank you.” She dropped her hand in time for her daughter to reach out to her, and Natasha complied immediately.

“Mama, she gave me sweets!”

Natasha ran her free hand all over her daughter, feeling her skin and analyzing for anything the paramedic may have missed. Satisfied her daughter was okay, she hugged her close, “I’ll get you so many sweets, it’ll be like your birthday.”

Anya smiled and lifted her head to look at her mother, “Really?”

Natasha placed an oh-so-familiar kiss to her forehead, “Of course.”

Suddenly her daughter’s smile turned into a frown as realization came over her face. “No, Mama!”

“What? What? Are you okay?” Natasha panicked, thinking she had done something to hurt Anya or that maybe there was something the paramedic did miss.

“The keyring! I lost it!” Anya’s eyes began to well with tears, and her bottom lip stuck out ever so slightly.

“It’s okay baby, T’Challa will understand. It wasn’t your fault…” Her tears began to subside, but she still looked disappointed in her “failure”.

“What the hell were you thinking?!”

Fuck.

She turned just in time to see Clint storm past the crime scene tape barrier and march to where her daughter and her stood.

“Clint, I-“

“No. You listen to me.”

He was never this stern. Ever.

“Tell me how you REMOTELY thought this was okay? Huh? Without even speaking to me?” He looked visibly shaken, clothes clearly thrown on him. Clint looked Natasha deeply in her eyes, and she could see past his anger there lay a layer of sadness, and another of fear.

She didn’t know what to say.

“I thought it would be good for the team.” That wasn’t a lie.

“Team?! You mean the group that is currently shattered? Broken apart into fractions of ‘right’ and ‘wrong’? Because for a second I thought you meant us. You know, the real team. Me, you and Anya. But no, you didn’t. Because you broke our ONE rule of keeping our daughter out of our work, showed her off publicly and almost got her KILLED!”

Anya curled into her mother’s shoulder as her father’s voice raised, trying to hid her face as she began to cry again.

The two parents noticed and Natasha glared at Clint, shooting daggers into his eyes before placing Anya down gently, “Little one, will you go back to the nice woman over there and ask her to help you with your chocolate?” She pointed to the paramedic from before, and Anya nodded, looking back at her father before walking to the woman (who must have noticed the fighting because she immediately began distracting Anya with sweets) and her smile returned.

“You can be mad at me all you like, but we cannot keep fighting in front of her.”

“Then stop giving me a reason to, Nat.” Clint’s eyes did not move away from hers; they’ve never fought like this before.

“Why did you bring her here?”

“Fury called.”

Clint shook his head and chuckled, but he clearly wasn’t happy. “And what? Convinced you to parade around our child for publicity? Jesus, Tasha.”

Their eyes stayed locked to each other’s as the argument continued. “The team is broken, Clint, he said we needed all the help we could get.”

“You still didn’t even talk to me about it though!”

“She’s my daughter.”

“AND MINE TOO!”

People around began to stare, but nothing mattered to either of them. This was their own civil war, between the two best friends, lovers, spouses. And at the center of it was their little red headed girl, still blissfully unaware of the fighting as she bit at her candy bar.

Natasha’s eyes started to get watery, but she held her ground. “Do you know how hard it is for me to represent heroes when everyone in the world still sees me as who I was before?”

Clint froze, he didn’t expect this.

“I let out all the secrets, Clint. Every single terrible thing I’ve done is fully public and available for everyone in the world to read. And I did that to myself. I made them see me as a monster. And I’m trying to fight for the good side, Clint, and you are the one that got me to do that. But, you know what? It doesn’t matter how much I’ve changed because all they still see is a killer.”

Clint’s posture began to loosen and his eyes softened as he listened to his wife, knowing all that she’s been through since D.C.

“I needed something. I needed to give them a reminder that I’m human as I signed the accords today. Because I need to stay on the side of good, and if that means listening to the government for once in my life, then maybe I do that. And even with me signing, it still wouldn’t matter. So I listened to Fury’s advice about Anya and showing them I’m a mother, and yeah, maybe it wasn’t wise to not talk to you about it, but I needed something to prove to the bullshit public that I’m more than just a killer.”

The tears began to slowly roll down her cheeks and Clint wiped them away with his thumb before enveloping her into a hug. She didn’t hug back, instead keeping her arms at her sides, fists clenched with a mix of anger and sadness.

Clint tangled his fingers in her hair and kissed the top of her head. “I’m sorry, Tasha.”

They stayed like that for what felt like hours, but was only a moment.

As they pulled away, Clint brushed her hair behind her ear and rubbed his thumb against her cheek, cupping her jaw gently. “This fight between us is getting to close to home. I think I should take Anya back home. And I mean home, like farmhouse home. Kate can come and babysit and I’ll stay with her and you can keep fighting and she’ll just be away from everything. We won’t have to worry ever again.”

Natasha stayed silent for a moment before asking, “And us? What happens there?”

Clint sighs softly, “I’m not mad. You did what you had to. But next time, please just talk to me. I don’t like waking up to an empty crib only to find out hours later that my wife and child were both almost killed in an explosion.”

Natasha nodded slowly, eyes still down and away from Clint. She swallowed the lump in her throat, “Okay.”

Clint carefully lifted her chin, looking into her eyes. “I love you. I’m glad you’re okay.”

“You won’t sign?”

“I have no reason to. I’m not an Avenger anymore. I’m retired; an old man. Might as well put me out of my misery now.”

Natasha half smiled before smacking his shoulder, “Shut up.”

Clint returned the smile, “You stay safe.”

“I will.”

“Promise me.”

“I promise.”

“Okay,” Clint nodded and leaned forward, kissing her on the cheek.

Natasha grabbed his collar, not letting him go and wrapped her arms tightly around his neck. After the day she had, she needed this. She just needed his arms wrapped around her tightly and her eyes shut and everything would disappear.

Yeah, they were still fighting. And yeah, they were on two different sides. But they were still a team. And the two lovers would work through this quarrel, as they always did.

#black widow #hawkeye #clint barton #natasha romanoff #natasha romanov #clintasha au #clintasha edit #clintasha #anya romanoff-barton #fanfiction #clintasha fanfiction #fanfic #avengers #avengers au #avengers fanfic #mcu #mcu fanfic #mcu fanfiction #marvel

90 notes · View notes

teacherintransition · 3 years

Text

Inner Healing Rarely Comes From a Medicine Bottle

Confronting the pain … the loss … often alone helps you see that hope is still there.

My nephew is following the path of the ancients when life takes a devastating turn… the pilgrimage, the sojourn, an odyssey a journey to reconcile his desire for joy in life in the face of mind numbing loss…

In the early morning hours of the 28th of February, 2021 the Rich family who followed after my father, Roland Rich; my wife, my three sons, their wives, my grandchildren, my sister’s son, my brother, his wife, his son, his daughter, his daughter in law, his grandchildren all were peacefully sleeping through the last moments of the world as we knew it. By 9:30am of the 28th, the existence of what we all knew was gone, ripped from our grasp in the form of a violent, horrific car accident that claimed the life of Matthew Paul Rich. Matthew, my brother’s son was twenty four, a husband and father of two little children was no more … the twenty five and more members of his family plus dozens of close friends, in a year where death had been all too prevalent due to a pandemic of historical proportions, were now dealing with a personal loss of a young who was a boundless source of joy to all who knew him. Nothing would ever be the same. But, …. This isn’t Matthew’s story …

No, this isn’t a story about Matthew Rich, though the laughter and joy he brought could fill volumes. I’m not writing about his beautiful wife and lovely children. These words have little to do with a father who had lost his son. This is the story of Matthew’s brother and best friend… my nephew Cory Patrick Rich, whose loss of Matthew created a unique devastation of spirit yet, awakened in him a refusal to relinquish the happiness in life so often provided by his brother.

Cory was born on the 12th of July, 1991 to Brian and Vickie Keith-Rich in Conroe, Tx. He was and is still to some degree a loner but in a healthy manner. He graduated from Klein Oak High School in 2009. My nephew is intense… he LOVES his family, he loves deep intense conversations with them, which is a trait directly inherited from my dad, his grandfather, Roland Rich. His intensity also showed sometimes in his temper, “il peperoncino fa scaglie nel culo,” and like many young men who are eighteen or nineteen, lacked direction… and it caused him a little trouble. Despite this, Cory has always shown the ability to make sound decisions in stressful times. To get some focus, Cory enlisted in the United States Army and served in Kuwait during time of war. He knew that many of his family members whom he deeply respected followed a long tradition of military service: his grandfather was a twelve year Navy veteran; his cousin, my son, is a USMC veteran; his step brother served in the Army for 8 years; his second cousin on his fathers side was in the United States Navy SOG (Navy Seals); a great uncle who retired from the USAF; and an great uncle who served in the Navy during WWII… and on back through time to the American Revolution. The discipline and focus was exactly what he needed … Cory knew that.

When he left the army he, like many young men, pondered what would they do with their lives, but he had a rock that kept him grounded: his brother Matthew. Often brothers have rocky relationships. My brother Brian and I have been known to butt heads, some have distance that is sad to see. My sons love to provoke each other and argue much too much. Then there’s Matthew and Cory. Did they fight? Yes. Did they argue? Yes. They were, for much of their lives, raised apart as many children are due to divorce, but there was something special going on there. I have seen men who were close brothers; I have seen brothers who were best friends, but rarely have I seen many who were incredibly close brothers and best friends to each other. Separately, they were funny guys and opposite sides of the same coin. Matt was laid back, cordial, a peacemaker and genuinely put everyone at ease; Cory is curious, a seeker of ideas and often a bit hot headed. They played off each other’s strengths and assuaged their weaknesses. They looked out for each and dreamed dreams with each other. My brother and I haven’t always gotten along, but now, at 55, we’ve found a commonality of thought, even though that tension lurks just beneath the surface. Matt and Cory were a team … a powerful entity when together. Then, with the precision of the marking of a calendar… they weren’t.

This piece will not rehash the horrid details of that awful morning, or share the agony of a young widow or the pain of a mother who lost her baby. This is a story of the path of a lost young man. Dr. Elisabeth Kubler Ross in her timeless study on how humans cope with grief, wrote there were five stages we go through when we lose a loved one. I observed Cory experience four of them: denial, anger, bargaining, and depression. The final stage: acceptance was stopped by an emotional brick wall. In all honesty, Cory, Brian, me (although my pain was to a much lesser extent) did all the right things to cope and some of the negative things you would expect. We argued, we cried, we drank too much, we self medicated, we had nightmares….remember my mention of Cory’s intensity? It was as you’d expect. My brother answered the call of being the patriarch and set the example for his family, I was there to help him when being the solid foundation was too much. Cory jumped in and took on the role Matt’s kids desperately needed. He spent his free time with them, took the son to soccer practice, helped Matt’s widow cope, comforted his mother … he showed a maturity and responsibility beyond expectation. All the while, Cory was so very much alone in processing his loss while attending to his loved ones.

My brother wisely planned a family trip to California to visit his wife’s son. The intentions were perfect, a family taking a step towards normalcy. From my own struggles with mental and emotional health, I learned that when situations approach a calm, the deep seeded pain that you haven’t been able to face, will rise to the surface as the progress that has been made will have your mind tell you, “ok, it’s time to deal with more stuff.” This happened on their trip. I told my brother that this wasn’t a setback but a step forward to deal with a loss that no human could take on all at once. Cory had taken no time for himself. He was spinning his wheels and the pain would not abate. I mentioned earlier that Cory had shown sound decision making in the past during times of emotional distress, he was about to embark on what I view, as a courageous, healthy, well thought out, wisdom beyond his years path towards healing. Cory was going on the road with his little dog Chewie in search of peace.

Like Homer, Ibn Battuta, Strabo, Xuan Zang, Thomas Jefferson, Isabella Byrd, Michael Palin, Jack Kerouac or Anthony Bourdain … Cory was not going on vacation, Cory was not going to “party.” The travelers mentioned above were seeking truth, understanding, community…Cory was going to find a way to live with the loss of his little brother. All to often, we will wallow in self pity and depression, harm ourselves or drop out of living altogether. Very few of us have the courage to go headlong and face our fear and pain and conquer it by seeing others in our world contend with tragedy and be inspired. To seek comfort traveling alone and realizing that none of us are truly alone is a daunting task. I would say that most people have dreamed of hitting the open road to “find ourselves “ and carrying a little regret at not having the balls to do it. Cory has no time schedule, no mapped out path, no preplanned itinerary…his heart and Chewie’s needed pit stops are his only considerations. Well, in truth, there is one destination and hundreds of ways to get there. Matt went on his honeymoon with Rachel his wife to Colorado. He was in awe of the beauty of the vistas. They returned home and, of course, he made a pact with his brother, “Cory brah, promise me that we will climb Pikes Peak together.” Cory promised… Matt is there on the summit ready to embrace his brother and tell him, “it’s ok dude, I’m good, thank you for caring for my family. I’m ok brah, go live …go live…go live …for me.”

My nephew has been gone for three weeks. His path on the map looks like pretzels. He’s been to New Mexico, Arizona, Utah, California, Oregon, Idaho, Montana, Illinois, Ohio, Pennsylvania, New York, New Hampshire, Massachusetts, Maine, West Virginia, Missouri and numerous places. He is heading towards Pikes Peak today …something powerful is going to happen …and Cory Patrick Rich had the courage to face it. I know this entry in my blog seems quite incomplete. “Where’s the details of the place he visited? What’d he eat? How’s he doing?” are questions that are being asked. I’ll let you know when he gets back. I also kept many of the names of Matt’s family unwritten so as to focus on one man’s personal sojourn. Each of us have a story through this nightmare we’ve experienced, but this is Cory’s and he still has many miles to travel before he can rest.

"Kathy, I'm lost", I said, though I knew she was sleeping

I'm empty and aching and I don't know why

Counting the cars on the New Jersey Turnpike

They've all come to look for America

All come to look for America

All come to look for America*

*Simon, Paul; “America;” Kobalt Music Services; 1968

https://youtube.com/channel/UClK_MAvZtDiLmlp-4HIN7NA

http://labibliotecacoffee.com/

1 note · View note

ugdigital · 7 years

Text

[FEATURE] NASHIEM MYRICK [ @TheProducerNash ]: LIFE AFTER DEATH [THE NOTORIOUS B.I.G. TRIBUTE]

For as much as we felt we already knew about The Notorious B.I.G. and the classic double LP, Life After Death, the process of completing the various features we have has been quite eye opening. It’s been an opportunity to look deeper into the lyrics that he truly lived, and the words that have lived posthumously for 20 years now.

In this particular feature, we connect with Nashiem Myrick, who was an intricate part of Bad Boy’s Hitmen, the in-house production team that ultimately crafted a majority of the songs we all knew an loved, not just from Biggie, but from many other artists on the booming roster. Myrick has been lauded for his work through the year, especially the personal touch he added to Life After Death. Having developed a relationship with B.I.G. that began during the “Ready to Die” days, it wasn’t difficult for him to know exactly what the King wanted. Myrick definitely delivered with four of the album’s most revered tracks: “Somebody’s Gotta Die”, “Niggas Bleed”, “My Downfall”, and “What’s Beef”. We talk to Myrick not only about these powerful tracks, but also the legacy that has lived now for two decades, and continues to grow with each passing day. He also gives us a glimpse into what he has going on right now, and what we can be on the lookout for.

U.G. Digital Mag: I’m immensely grateful to you for your time man. As someone who religiously read album credits, I've wanted to connect with you definitely this entire 20 years. This is really awesome to talk so someone I feel was majorly vital for the overall creativity in this project. Clearly we're honoring the legacy of Biggie in Life After Death, but you're responsible for a bulk of the album in terms of production. What was that like at the time, knowing you would contribute, and then what's it like now, looking at how inspirational it's been to so many people?

Nashiem Myrick: Well, you know, it was the hitmen, and we got a chance to do a bulk of the album. Me and B.I.G. were in tune, and we had a connection when it came to music. He liked the stuff that I liked. With Somebody’s Gotta Die, I got that to him well before the album started. We were still working Ready to Die, and I have him the track. It pretty much started the direction of the new album. Not to say that it was the maiden fact for the album, which it is on the album, it’s the first track, but he got into that new vibe at that time when he started to wrote to that song. If you listen to Life After Death, and then you go back to the first album, you can tell his rhyme style changed a little.

U.G. Digital Magazine: Oh it changed a whole lot.

Nashiem Myrick: Right. It got way more intricate and sophisticated. I got a head start before everyone else. I had an opportunity to do way more tracks for him.

U.G. Digital Mag: I felt like there was something in I’m that, while not trying to be like anyone else or prove anything, it’s like he was saying “look, I can roll with the best of ‘em, no matter who It is”. Coming from Cleveland, People here really looked out for Notorious Thugs featuring Bone Thugs, and he clearly switched his entire flow. He did stuff many were scared to do.

Nashiem Myrick: Right, and it’s like, if you wasn’t from the midwest, you wasn’t doing that Bone Thugs n Harmony record. At that time, he surprised everybody, but we knew he had it in him. Him and Jay were just on another level at that time. I can’t explain it, and no one can, but they was just on another level when it came to the rhymes, it was like out of this world.

U.G. Digital Mag: My own interpretation with Life After Death was that you had the most introspective tracks on the album. Not really any of the uptempos, but the more gritty cuts. Was that a conscious move? How would it be determined what you worked on versus what everyone else in the hitmen worked on?

Nashiem Myrick: We all had different styles, and that was the beauty of it. It was never a case of us having to preplan anything. I had linked up with a guy names Carlos Broady a little before the album started. He and I collaborated on those songs, and we had the same ear, and the same style. When it came to the rest of the hitmen, D-Dot, Stevie, Ron Lawrence, you know, we were just different. Even though Ron Lawrence and D-Dot were a team, basically everybody had their own style. When it came to making the album, B.I.G. and Puff pretty much knew what each element; the elements being Me, Carlos, and Stevie, they knew what each one of us individually would bring. That would make a more broader album as far as music was concerned. You gotta understand; we was new at the time. I had a track record from Who Shot Ya, and a couple other joints floating out there like Queen Bitch.

U.G. Digital Mag: It’s crazy because a lot of people really don’t know, and I look at how big some names have gotten in production. There’s so many songs you’ve done out there, from Queen Bitch, and Who Shot Ya, and you’ve worked with Mary, Jay-Z, Scarface, and a lot of people don’t recognize. You brought something to the table with B.I.G. that so many people fell in love with. Even looking at the samples you used, You figure the Isley brothers, Al Green, Richard Evans, The Dramatics, Run DMC, you introduced a lot of people to music before that time. Today, many artists don’t know about the predecessors, let alone even having respect for the predecessors. I talked to DMC last week about “My Downfall”, and we talked about the fact that musicians today don’t know those before them.

Nashiem Myrick: I know, and that behooves me because I grew up on music since I was so little, and I was always interested in the credits, even before I was really making music, I always understood it was a process to make these songs. I was reading the sleeves at such an early age that I knew this guys also played in Funkadelic, and Bootsy Collins, or they derived from James Brown’s era. I always put it all together. My father was a big music fan, and he was also a DJ, and had a record collection that would blow your mind. That’s all I did was gain knowledge, and he was into every type of music. If it had soul, he introduced it to me. I don’t understand these kids. You’re not going to last if you don’t know your past. Period! Everything on earth relied on the elements that came before.

U.G. Digital Mag: I appreciate hearing that from you because I was somebody that read the liner notes to see who was involved, where the sample came from, and everything. You speak of Carlos, and that was my introduction to him; reading the liner notes for the album. I remember listening to “Anotha”, and learning ti came from Barbara Mason. Before reading that, I had no clue. It’s good to hear this from you. Also, the people you sample, my son picks it up, even at 10. He knows “Stay With Me” by El Debarge was sampled for One More Chance; He knows Al Green, and so on.

Nashiem Myrick: I had an advantage that these young kids don’t have today. I was born in 1970, so I was born when hip-hop was created. I lived through it, so I don’t really have to go back in time. I didn’t have to do too much history because it was right there for me, and since we as a culture, our music comes from what we have around us. We’re not band players. We actually developed through technology, so we relied on old records that were already done. You have to know your history. I was a guy who always knew the break beats. I collected break beats. Since I grew up around music, I always knew the samples as people were coming out with them. I always knew it, and if I didn’t, I went back into my record collection, or I would read the notes. I used to know, down to the drum loop, what songs were used. Even if they used a snare and a kick, I could name the snare kick when I was young, and it was crazy. I was a buff, and people would be amazed. That’s one thing Puff loved about me when we met. I met Puff when we was at Howard. He was DJ’ing and hosting parties. When he got his job at Uptown, he would call me over for studio setups. I would sit with him and go through break beats all night.

U.G. Digital Mag: It had to be a good feeling in your heart to be involved from the very beginning of Uptown with him.

Nashiem Myrick: Yea, when he got the job interning, I can remember he was still going to Howard. I knew like, I know this guy so somehow we’ll connect. Plus, I was in the group with one of his friends, one of my beats friends, Harve Pierre, and our friend Davie, we had the connection, and he was trying to get into the music business. We already had the record deal. He was promoting parties, and we was always in cahoots with each other.

U.G. Digital Mag: How did you end up being production them?

Nashiem Myrick: Well, the record deal that me, Harve, and Dave had, Sticks and Stones was the name of our group, they dropped us. We was on Pay Day Records, and was managed by Empire management. That’s Group Home and Gangstarr, they was down with them also. They dropped us on my birthday and I’ll never forget. I got the call on my birthday, so from there, Puff had gotten fired from Uptown, and started shopping Bad Boy. He had already asked me to work for him when he was at Uptown, but it was more clerical stuff. I knew that could open doors for me, but I didn’t know nothing about clerical work. When he got his deal at Bad Boy, Mark Pitts was working for him. He invited Harve up there, and Harve was working for him. He didn’t really have a staff at the time. He had a studio in the crib, and needed an intern. I was interning under Poke of the Trackmasters. They were taking care of the studio and I worked under them, but two weeks later, I guess they had a break-up over something, and Puff wanted me to take a bigger part in this. He wanted me to step up, and I said let’s do it. He already knew I wanted to be a producer, and I knew the street essence of the hip-hop game as far as music was concerned. I was already heavy into the samples, and he already knew that from me being a DJ. Gradually it formed.

U.G. Digital Mag: Of all the songs you worked with, you had “Somebody’s Gotta Die”, “What’s Beef”, “Niggas Bleed”, and “My Downfall”. What did those songs specifically do for the album to lend it the credibility it has maintained for 20 years now?

Nashiem Myrick: I think they were the glue for certain moments in the album. You could tell a couple of them were storytelling joints, which B.I.G. was incredible out.

U.G. Digital Mag: Exactly.

Nashiem Myrick: He had to display that. They were the glue. It’s like, you make a dish and you need something to keep the certain ingredients together. Those tracks gave it that grit. That’s where I came in at. It was to hold the album together. having an album with just video joints, there’s no depth involved. You need something to take with you. You need legs to an album to where it keeps with you for a while. If you have all radio joints, it gets exploited on the radio and in the club, and then you’re through with the album. This is so you can have something to take you into the future. They keep the album together and make it do beautiful.

U.G. Digital Mag: It’s funny, though, how you speak of the radio tracks. You have “Hypnotize”, ‘Going Back to Cali”, “Mo Money, Mo Problems”, and by far, they took the album to the next level, but when you look at even “My Downfall” specifically, it has carried the album for this time. You had the more introspective joints where you could listen to what he was saying and relate it to your own life. Theycarried the album.

Nashiem Myrick: Yea, and that’s the basis of a classic album. You gotta have a joint that’s not going to be exploited on the radio. it’s just for the album. You have to buy the album to get certain cuts. A lot of times, it can be worthy of a single, but let’s keep it on the album. That’s a trick I guess they learned long ago.

U.G. Digital Mag: It’s definitely dope though. When you look at hip-hop today, how has this album aided the evolution of hip-hop?

Nashiem Myrick: Wow, first of all the production on that album is fucking ridiculous. People wasn’t taking the time and effort to put into the production what we were doing, you know, we were taking sample based records but making them so orchestra-like, and bigger than they could be. You go back to like Dre would do it. He would get people to come in and play the parts of the sample and take it into a live form. What we were doing was the same, keeping the sample there, and creating on top of that. We added new material, new tracks, and new instrumentation on top of that sample, making it extraordinary. That’s where it took a shift, as far as I’m concerned as a producer. Hip-Hop took a shift, and if they didn’t learn from Dre that you had to do more with the music, and make it more extraordinary, they saw it with the Hitmen and how we did it on that album, and the Mary album prior to that.

U.G. Digital Mag: I agree. I know for a fact that people were sampled who only cleared the samples because of who you were and what they knew your track record to be.

Nashiem Myrick: Right.

U.G. Digital Mag: I look at “Rise” from Here Alpert, and I know so many artists were trying to clear that, and nobody could, but he immediately cleared it for the Hitmen and for B.I.G., which was amazing.

Nashiem Myrick: We thought we wasn’t gonna clear it too.

U.G. Digital Mag: Angela Winbush, the joint with her was absolutely amazing.

Nashiem Myrick: And we had her come in and sing.

U.G. Digital Mag: I know. That’s just what I mean. It’s a sample, but she sang on top of it, and killed it. Til’ this day, it’s one of the dopest.

Nashiem Myrick: Took her song, and wrote a version just for that sample.

U.G. Digital Mag: You won’t get that with anyone else man.

Nashiem Myrick: No! Especially not anyone with her credibility.

U.G. Digital Mag: So yea, there’s a lot of people who appreciate that. Where does the legacy go in the years to come? People are still buying?

Nashiem Myrick: It’s going to be there forever because of the untimely death of my man. That’s just going to grow the legacy more because it’s the last offering he had. He didn’t even get to hear the album. He didn’t get to hear “Somebody’s Gotta Die” in it’s latest form. 60% of that song was produced after he had passed.

U.G. Digital Mag: Wow.

Nashiem Myrick: It’s a lot of songs on there like that.

U.G. Digital Mag: I would have thought he had finished it all before, seeing as how it released two weeks after he passed. It speaks volumes in terms of the connection everyone had. Now, going back a little, everybody knows you were behind “Who Shot Ya”. The song made people think so much. Was there ever any though just of any drama that could come from what people thought?

Nashiem Myrick: Not at all. We never thought that. I mean, emcees were going at each other unknown, subliminally, but he wasn’t. I was there during the session as it came out. It was never that. it was all fantasy-based. You never thought about drama. His lyrical skills were so amazing that it would make you believe that. But that never entered our minds. We just thought we had a dope record.

U.G. Digital Mag: I really want people to know the many things you’ve done production-wise. Mary J, Scarface, Nas, Lil’ Kim, Jay-Z, Push T, Mariah Carey, and the list goes on.

Nashiem Myrick: I worked with Mobb Deep. It’s a blessing. it was one point where people didn’t know my name. Then one record, and everybody wanted to work with me. That was cool. I wanted to produce for as many of these great artists as I could. I went from being an in-house producer to being one of the hottest producers in the industry.

U.G. Digital Mag: What is there for everyone to see and follow right now?

Nashiem Myrick: I’m trying to put together a Hitmen album. I have a few artists I’m recording now who I will be putting out. it may take a couple years to get it out there, but I’m still working with artists. You just have to look out for it. I will be promoting it. I’ll be out there.

0 notes

lewiskdavid90 · 7 years

Text

95% off #The Ultimate Excel Programmer Course – $10

Learn Excel VBA from scratch with Dan Strong! I’ve trained over 40K students on YouTube, check it out!

All Levels, – 10 hours, 173 lectures

Average rating 4.4/5 (4.4 (1,932 ratings) Instead of using a simple lifetime average, Udemy calculates a course’s star rating by considering a number of different factors such as the number of ratings, the age of ratings, and the likelihood of fraudulent ratings.)

Course requirements:

You should already have Microsoft Excel (version 2003, 2007, 2010 or 2013). Obviously the newer the better, but VBA works the same in all versions. It’s just that newer versions have more options, thus more VBA Commands to control those options. Very very basic Excel skills needed for this course (like opening the program, how to click on cells and type things.) You really don’t need any Excel experience, because I’ll take you from Start to Finish in this course. I was just trying to be funny.

Course description:

Teach Excel to Do Your Work FOR YOU…

Microsoft Office is everywhere, installed on over 750 million computers, but most users only know how to set up a basic table or maybe even do a few formulas here and there.

In my course, I teach you how to take Excel by the horns and make it do whatever you want, whenever you want. It can go through loads of information and create a printable report for you. You can make custom forms so that you can access, analyze, edit, or add new information quickly to your data tables/ worksheets.

Excel programming utilizes a simple but effective tool called “VBA” – the hidden programming language that runs quietly in the background while you work. It’s very easy and straight-forward to use.

I’ll show you the easiest tricks to learn this basic language in a fun, progressive method. Learn at your own pace. With each of my short, info-packed lectures, you’ll learn another essential skill that you can immediately use. You’ll find yourself handling these Automation tools instantly and in any spreadsheet you already use every day. If there’s one thing I’m good at – and my students are good at – it’s AUTOMATION.

My motto is, “If I’m not making everybody’s job easier, quicker and more enjoyable, I don’t deserve to have this job” – and that’s what I live by.

Take this course and access your true potential.

Oh, and I want to be the first to hear about your New Raise you get once you’re making Excel Programs and running everything on autopilot for your co-workers!

-Dan

Full details Automate and Customize data entry forms Choose the right Loop for each task Master the CELLS and RANGE objects in multiple scenarios Create multiple Variable styles to match your need Customize your VBA Editor and Understand all the Toolbars and options Debug and Troubleshoot code like a boss! Record, Modify or Write Macros from scratch Make Custom Formulas/Functions on the fly Breeze through IF THEN statements and conquer all the Logical Operators Batch out inter-active MessageBoxes, InputBoxes and give users CHOICES! Generate Basic Reports that can be printed Add filters to report menus to narrow the records Take control of forms, Buttons, Drop-down menus, Checkboxes and option buttons AND so much more… Trigger code from a number of different methods – from Clicking on a cell – to De-Selecting a worksheet. Set up Special Commands when a workbook: Opens or closes, is selected, any cell or certain cells are selected, right before printing, etc… Manipulate Userforms for data entry, report generation, editing tables/databases – ALL within your control. Restrict the flow of data OR make the Userform(s) responsive, calculating, INTUITIVE. Streamline your work and the work of others. Put Excel ON AUTOPILOT…

Full details This Excel course is for anyone who wants to learn Automation secrets in Excel VBA. It’s for complete newbies and/or students looking for a refresher or Reference tool, to pick and choose relevant lessons for their projects. No prior programming knowledge is needed. This course is probably not for you if you’re looking to learn super advanced report authoring, which will be covered in a future course specifically on this topic. We will, however, make sure you know how to make good solid reports from your data and many tricks to make them look good. I don’t think Office 365 has programming abilities with VBA as of yet, so be wary of this if you only use Office 365. They may release that as a feature in the future, but we’re not there yet. If you’re using Excel for Mac, you will find that this course won’t cover all the various differences in Excel Mac, as this course was filmed using Excel for PC. Some Mac users have taken this course, but it’s best with Excel for PC.

Full details

Reviews:

“I believe this course overall is good and worth the money. The sound quality in places is deplorable and detracts from learning. The workbook and worksheet events are given too much emphasis. The lesson module in the later portion of the course are bigger “chunks” to explain bigger concepts but lost my interest because of bouncing back and forth within the modules that Doug was building I had a hard time keeping track of where in the process we were. Maybe preplan a bit more of what you are going to say before you record it. Additionally, maybe add modules where you give us a task to complete then show the answer. The best way to learn programming is to apply it, not just watch it.” (Scott Carman)

“Excellent course. Got to learn a lot. Great content. Half point deducted to not exclude the R&D part of code writing in some videos, as it wastes learner’s time. Learning more in less time creates more interest. Else, great job done. Thanks for sharing the knowledge.” (Rajesh Pathak)

“Great course! Danny boy did a great job going over how VBA is used in Excel. I am familiar with C coding so I thought the idea of having to go over the earlier chapters of loops, if statements etc would be painful but Udemy has x2 speed which helps. Once past this, Danny went over a lot of material. Whilst there is still much to learn such as all the VBA functions etc, I have the confidence to ‘take it from here’. I am looking forward to writing my own UserForms or even creating a VBA script to produce graphs/charts.” (Shane Spiteri)

About Instructor:

Daniel Strong

Hi! My name is Daniel and i’m 29. I’ve lived most my life in Scott City, Missouri, United States. I’ve been using Excel since my early teens, and very early on realized that I absolutely love it. After working on various projects in my spare time for years, improving the lives of those that used my programs, I knew this was more than just a hobby for me; it’s my passion. A few years back, I got my first opportunity to program in Excel, but when I landed the job I was asked to re-write my predecessor’s coded programs with fancy databases and automated Crystal reports! I found my Excel skills somewhat lacking. I HAD TO LEARN VBA! I studied and studied what I could online and in books, but I wasn’t able to learn much that way. I had to dive into my first project for months and months – basically just teaching myself and “figuring it out”. I realized that if only someone was out there teaching Excel VBA like Mike Gervin (ExcelIsFun) taught Excel, making everything simple and visual – then Anyone could learn VBA! I started a YouTube channel, mostly for myself as a reference tool, but people started to bite. People flooded my inbox with questions and comments that I was literally changing their lives for the better. My passion is and always has been teaching, and I’ve turned thousands of people into Excel programmers. Now, with Udemy, I’m going to teach the good stuff – the stuff I kept secret; the Advanced and “not-so-Advanced-but-Awesome” Excel VBA. The things that make people hire you – that make you irresistable and irreplacable. Building REAL Programs, Advanced Reporting and Data Analysis. Dashboards and live data. Automation. My main focus is to create an online community of professional Excel VBA developers and beginners who create Real Programs, solve Real Problems and change Real Lives.

Instructor Other Courses:

Play Piano by Ear Today! SuperCourse Daniel Strong, Excel Instructor/Programmer (16) $10 $60 Excel VBA for Business: Barcodes …………………………………………………………… Daniel Strong coupons Development course coupon Udemy Development course coupon Programming Languages course coupon Udemy Programming Languages course coupon The Ultimate Excel Programmer Course The Ultimate Excel Programmer Course course coupon The Ultimate Excel Programmer Course coupon coupons

The post 95% off #The Ultimate Excel Programmer Course – $10 appeared first on Udemy Cupón/ Udemy Coupon/.

from Udemy Cupón/ Udemy Coupon/ http://coursetag.com/udemy/coupon/95-off-the-ultimate-excel-programmer-course-10/ from Course Tag https://coursetagcom.tumblr.com/post/155341427553

0 notes