#so why not make things as accessible as we can?
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Twst Unveil Event Part 7
Rook: Monsieur Tranquille! How are you feeling?
Yuurin: I'm feeling better now after Leona-senpai forced me to take a nap.
Rook: *chuckles* As expected from Roi des Lions! He knows how to look after his underclassmen!
Yuurin: Anyway, Rook-senpai, our match is about to start. What are you doing here?
Rook: I'm here to wish you luck, Monsieur Tranquille.
Yuurin: ...
Yuurin: What place have you chosen, senpai?
Rook: The forest of nymphs.
Yuurin: ...
Yuurin: Are you alright, senpai?
Rook: Why, yes! Monsieur Tranquille! Why do you ask?
Yuurin: Nymphs wouldn't normally allow strangers in their personal space.
Rook: Well, yes. However, after knowing that I am an acquaintance of yours, they have asked me of one thing.
Yuurin: And that is?
Rook: Your photo, Monsieur Tranquille!
Yuurin: ...
Rook: *smiling*
Philomela: It's time for our last match! Fighters! Are you ready?!
Rook: Oui!
Yuurin: Yes.
Malleus: I wonder what kind of place Hunt has chosen.
Silver: It's a forest.
Floyd: Eh~? A forest~?
Sebek: Hmph! It's nothing unique like any of us had chosen!
Philomela: *laughs* Nothing special, eh?
Philomela: Rook Hunt had to ask permission from the nymphs before he was granted an access!
Malleus: Oh. Is that so?
Philomela: Yes. And ah! It's Yuurin's favorite place!
Silver: Favorite place?
Philomela: *laughs* You will find out why!
*The forest of the nymphs*
Yuurin: ...
The nymphs: Yuurin~
The nymphs: Yuuuriiiinnn~
Leona: *frowns*
Jack: There are voices calling her but I see no one there.
Ruggie: And on top of that, Rook is not on sight too.
Leona: That bastard is hiding. Grr.
Yuurin: ...
The nymphs: Yuurin~ Forget about the match and let's play~
Yuurin: ...
Yuurin: No, thank you. But I'll accept your invitation some other time.
The nymphs: You used to play with us when you were little...
Yuurin: ...
The nymphs: If you lose against the French, will you play with us?
Leona: What?! They're going to support Rook?!
Ruggie: Hey, Philomela! I thought that forest was Yuurin's favorite place?!
Philomela: Of course! That's the place where he always goes missing!
Leona, Ruggie, and Jack: HUH?!
Jade: Oh dear.
Philomela: Though that was before. Yuurin can navigate the forest now even if it changes its path.
Leona: *sarcastically* Wow, thanks, that's reassuring.
Yuurin: ...
Yuurin: Yes. And I'll have an easy time losing if you disclose his location.
The nymphs: *giggles* Oh, but we promised not to tell.
Yuurin: ...
Yuurin: I see.
Yuurin: He won't show himself until it's the right time.
Philomela and the others: *watches Yuurin as she started to search for Rook*
Epel: Wow...! Yuurin is jumping on branches!
Floyd: Go, damselfish~!
Leona, Jack, and Ruggie: ...
Sebek and Silver: ...
Malleus: Hunt is chasing him.
Jade: Indeed.
Epel: Huh? Where?
Rook: *quietly follows Yuurin*
Rook: *chuckles to himself*
Yuurin: *sensing that she's being followed; decided to change route* *comes down from the trees and starts running*
The nymphs: Yuurin~
Yuurin: I need to find a clearing.
Rook: *starts to quicken his pace*
Yuurin: !!!
Rook: *begins shooting arrows while in pursuit of her*
Yuurin: *dodges them*
Leona: ROOK!
Jack: Isn't that against the rules?!
Philomela: Nope.
Jack: ...
Leona, Jack, and Ruggie: *are getting frustrated*
Malleus: Ten minutes have already wasted.
Silver: Yes. Time is flying.
Sebek: ...
Sebek: It would be unfortunate if Yuurin loses in this match.
Floyd: Eh~ You're just underestimating damselfish, crocodile~.
Sebek: DON'T CALL ME CROCODILE!
Rook: Monsieur Tranquille! Your stamina is really impressive!
Yuurin: ...
Yuurin: This can't do.
Rook: Hm?
Yuurin: *suddenly stops and faces Rook*
Rook: !!!
Yuurin: Please forgive me, but I'll have to make a clearing! *uses her wind magic to clear part of the forest*
Rook: Whoa...
Yuurin: ...
The nymphs: You'll pay for this, Yuurin...
Yuurin: I'm really sorry.
Jade: My, that was a strong wind.
Epel: But it didn't affect Rook-senpai!
Philomela: That's because he wasn't the target.
Leona: ...
Leona: Tch. *mutters* She should've sent him flying.
Ruggie and Jack: *hearing him* But she would get disqualified...
Yuurin: Rook-senpai, I have set the stage for us.
Rook: ...
Rook: *smiles* I appreciate the gesture, Monsieur Tranquille.
Yuurin: *in her fighting stance*
Rook: *approaches her quickly, aiming to grab her*
Yuurin: *dodges, then realizes that it was a feint*
Yuurin: Huh?
Rook: *sneaks behind her; doing a Full Nelson Hold* *lifting her off the ground*
Yuurin: !!!
Floyd: Eh~?! He's copying my move!
Jade: *chuckles* However, it looks more effective when he's doing it.
Floyd: *pouts*
Floyd: Damselfish! Do something and escape the hold!
Rook: *chuckles* You're doing well, Monsieur Tranquille. *tightens the hold*
Yuurin: ...
Rook: You won't even show that you're struggling?
Rook: There is no shame in that.
Yuurin: Rook-senpai, you are forgetting...
Yuurin: That I'm not your prey.
Rook: Eh?
Yuurin: *the muscles in her arms become more visible and prominent as she grabs his hands, breaking them apart*
Rook: Monsieur Tranquille, you know very well that our strength is—
Rook: *is losing the hold*
Rook: —different...
Yuurin: *successfully broke free from him*
Rook: ...
Leona: HAHA! YOU'RE DOOMED, ROOK!
Jack and Ruggie: ...
Malleus: I've never seen Kingscholar this enthusiastic before.
Epel: Haha... Me too.
Yuurin: *about to take revenge on Rook*
Rook: Monsieur Tranquille! We can talk this out!
Yuurin: No.
Rook: But—
Yuurin: !!!
Yuurin: *falls to her knees*
Rook: Monsieur Tranquille?
Yuurin: ...
Philomela: THE MATCH IS OVER! IT'S A TIE!
Ruggie: Huh? What happened?
Philomela: The nymphs have intervened.
Philomela: Look.
The nymphs: *have surrounded Rook and Yuurin; with a few holding Yuurin in place*
Leona: Are they going to hurt him?!
Philomela: Hm. Fortunately, his godmothers are there. I'm sure they will just lecture him for destroying part of the forest.
Everyone: Oh...
Leona: How about Rook?
Philomela: They will let him leave.
Philomela: Anyway! That's all for our wrestling competition!
Philomela: Too bad Yuurin wasn't able to finish it off! *laughs*
Them: ...
Yuurin: *has returned with kiss marks all over her face*
Leona, Ruggie, and Jack: ...
Leona: Looks like they gave you lots of smooches, huh?
Yuurin: *nods*
Leona: ...
Leona: *laughs*
Ruggie and Jack: *sigh*
Philomela: I thank everyone for participating in this wrestling match! I had fun watching you all!
The audience: *cheers*
Philomela: And now that it's over! It's time for celebration!
Philomela: Eat! Dance! And drink all you want!
The students: YEAH!!!
Yuurin: ...
Silver: Everyone is lively.
Yuurin: Oh, hello, Silver-senpai.
Sebek: Hmph! Why did we have to change our clothes?!
Floyd: Ooh~ It's breezy~.
Rook: You look gorgeous, Monsieur Tranquille!
Leona: Hey! Fuck off, Rook!
Malleus: Congratulations, Yuurin.
Yuurin: Thank you, Malleus-senpai. But I didn't win.
Jade: It's a tie; however you could count that as a win since Rook Hunt asked you to talk. *chuckles*
Rook: Oui! If not for the nymphs, I would've lost!
Epel: Yeah... Yuurin looked like he was about to beat Rook in a pulp.
Ruggie: Yeah! Shishishi!
Jack: Yuurin, we should do our own wrestling match next time.
Yuurin: Sure.
Philomela: YUURIN! COME HERE AND SING A SONG FOR US!
Yuurin: ...
Everyone: You sing?
Yuurin: ...
Yuurin: Yes. But the songs I know are not suited for this occasion.
Philomela: YUURIN!
Yuurin: ...
Yuurin: *sighs* What do you want me to sing?
Philomela: "DONE FOR" AND "THERE ARE OTHER WAYS" FROM THE EPIC MUSICAL!
Yuurin: ...
Yuurin: Are you kidding me?
Epel, Ruggie, and Floyd: *searches the songs and lyrics* Oh...
Silver: What kind of song is it?
Yuurin: ...
Yuurin: You'll know.
Them: *after hearing the lyrics*
Them: ...
Leona: What in the world—
Epel: His voice is so good!
Floyd: Yeah~! I feel like I'm being seduced~.
Sebek: Huh! If you were in Odysseus's position, you have already failed!
Silver: ...
Malleus: Hmm... Isn't the one singing with Yuurin the nymph from the enchanted garden?
Them: ...
Ruggie: Damn— No wonder she's feeling it!
#twisted wonderland#twst yuurin#twst rook#twst sebek#twst silver#twst malleus#twst floyd#twst jade#twst epel#twst leona#twst ruggie#twst jack#twst oc philomela#twst unveil event
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unholy, unholy, unholy
Pairing: Cardinal Copia x f!Reader (Curator!Reader)
Rating: EXPLICIT, MDNI
Tags: the ministry being the catholic church's evil twin, manipulation, masturbation, confession, copia lowkey being a desperate little sex freak my beloved
Words: 5,153
Summary: You really walked right into this, you tell yourself. You can't even be mad at Copia for suggesting it.
a/n: can't believe the last thing i wrote for these losers was at christmas...damn. anyway you know how i like my non-chronological shit so this takes place somewhere in between take me apart and satan baby. i'm not done making these two dance around their feelings just yet.
divider by @ghuleh-recs!
“Jesus fucking Christ Almighty.”
You slam your office door shut with your hip and Cardinal Copia turns to look at you from his seat.
“Need help?”
With a grunt and a shake of your head you walk past him and set the bag of food down on your desk, heaving a deep sigh.
“Had to go on a fucking scavenger hunt because the goddamn DoorDash driver left the bag with a maintenance worker, who gave it to one of Terzo’s ghouls, who left it in a stairwell for some reason…don’t ask me how I managed to find it because fuck if I know.”
Dramatically you flop into your desk chair and give your lunch companion a look as he begins to sort out your meals with a smile.
“You know you eh…take the Lord’s name in vain quite a bit for someone who wasn’t raised in religion.”
When he passes your container of Pad see ew to you, you grin.
“Ehhh you know, the perils of being raised in a predominantly Christian society. It’s funny, the first time I said ‘Jesus Christ’ I was maybe…I don’t know nine? Ten? And my mom tersely told me ‘don’t say that’ to which I replied ‘why not?’ I don’t think she knew how to answer that question in a way that would make me care, you know? I had gone all my little life not giving a shit about Jesus, why would I now?”
Copia chuckles and cracks open his own takeaway box.
“Ah cara, you continue to stray further and further from God’s light every day. Thank Sathanas for that, hmm?”
With a smile, you clink your soda can against his and dig into your meal.
“You ever think about how fascinating your religion is, Copia?”
You prop your feet up on your desk as Copia delicately picks noodles out of his box with chopsticks.
“Eh, how do you mean?”
“Like…you’re a Satanic cardinal. You’ve sworn your life to uphold the tenets of Satanism. You…we live at a massive complex dedicated to Satan. One of many complexes throughout the world, apparently. And yet, barely anyone knows of the Ministry’s existence. It’s wild, really.”
He makes a thoughtful noise as he chews on a particularly crunchy piece of bok choy.
“Ah, well,” he begins, setting his chopsticks down and reaching for the soda resting on the desk, “we’re trying to change that. In…subtle ways.”
“Mmm, the Ghost project.”
“Sì, the idea is we use Papa to spread our message through music - something that is accessible to many people.”
“With the hopes that you and your evil brethren can dominate the globe?” you say, scrunching your nose playfully and giving him a big wink.
“Something like that,” he smiles wryly.
“Well I’ve listened to some of the project’s music and I gotta say…big fan. I think your sinister subliminal messaging is working on me.”
“Oh?” he asks, setting down his food in order to cross his legs and give you a curious stare. “Tell me more, cara. Do I have a future sister of sin on my hands?”
You close your eyes and laugh, missing the hungry way the Cardinal watches the line of your throat as your head tilts back.
“Maybe…let’s just say I’m intrigued. How could I not be when I’m surrounded by it all the time?”
He nods, resting a gloved hand on his knee and straightening his cassock.
“Perhaps…”
You fix him with a look you know will make him lose his train of thought for a moment. Positively wicked.
“Perhaps…?”
“Perhaps,” he clears his throat, eyes darting away from yours, “you would like to attend one of our services?”
You nod gamely.
“Is a super cool and hip youth pastor going to tell me about the ways the Devil cares about me unconditionally?”
He rolls his eyes and fixes you with an unamused stare.
“Very funny, dolcezza. Would you prefer that I have you sit with Papa Nihil while he explains the history of the Emeritus bloodline?”
You balk. The wizened Papa had a distinct dislike of you for some odd reason. You often wonder how he manages to give you such dirty looks through his cloudy eyes. You didn’t particularly care, however, as you saw the way he constantly brushed off and mistreated Copia during staff meetings. Nihil irked you to no end, no matter how much Sister Imperator liked him.
“Alright, fine, sorry. I only jest to get a rise out of you, I know how important your religion is to you. And hey, anything that has the drama and aesthetics of the Catholic Church without all the guilt and trauma has my full attention. Please don’t be mad.”
He grunts but you see the way his mustache twitches as he fights back a smile. You flutter your eyelashes a little and in a moment of boldness, take your lower lip between your teeth. The way his mismatched eyes dart to your mouth and his jaw hangs open makes you giddy.
“I’m–,” his voice comes out as a hoarse rasp, “I forgive you, cara.”
“Thank you for absolving me of my sins, Your Eminence.”
He has to know you’re doing this on purpose at this point. You’re not sure what has gotten into you today but something about the way he stares at you now makes you want to grab him by his pellegrina and haul him over your desk for a sloppy kiss. There’s a heavy tension between the two of you, not for the first time, as if all one of you needs to do is take a step forward and all hell would break loose.
“So, you want me to go to a service? What like black mass? Unholy baptism? Virgin sacrifice?”
The spell is broken and briefly your swagger flickers, wondering if you’ve crossed a line.
“Eh, maybe someday but your statement about sin made me think…perhaps confession would be more suited to you?”
Now your jaw falls open and you can feel your cheeks light up as he watches you with a smirk toying at the corners of his mouth. The tables have turned and now you’re the one left speechless.
“O-oh?” you ask, voice a little higher than normal, “so if Catholic confession is about getting your sins forgiven, then Satanic confession is…having your sins…celebrated?”
“Corretto,” he says with a generous nod, “we’ll go through each one in ah…intimate detail.”
“We?” you squeak out, stomach dropping severely, “I hadn’t realized that you would be presiding.”
“Oh sì,” he says, the smirk on his face positively devilish, “although if you’d prefer someone else…”
“No,” you say just a little too quickly, your heart pounding, “I…I don’t know how much sinning I really get up to. I’ll probably bore you to tears.”
“You might be surprised, dolcezza,” Christ the nickname sounds devious on his lips right now, “What is it they say? ‘Still waters run deep’?”
Your laugh comes out just a little too loud and unnatural and you kick yourself.
“Ha…right. We…we should probably get back to this cataloging or Sister Imperator is going to publicly execute me.”
The rest of the afternoon proceeds normally, with the two of you diligently organizing the abbey’s collection of illuminated manuscripts. When you finally part, he gives you the date, time, and directions to the chapel where the confession booth is located.
“Cara,” he murmurs as you begin to walk away, “you don’t have to do this.”
You give him a half-smile and shake your head.
“I think it will be good for me,” you say, hands behind your back as you rock onto your heels, “and besides, how could I say no to spending an evening with you?”
You make sure not to turn away until you see the full breadth of his dazed expression and by the time your back is to him and you’re walking away, there’s a loopy grin on your face. It’s not til you turn the corner and reach the staircase to your quarters the full realization of what you’ve agreed to dawns upon you.
Oh fuck.
You don’t see Copia the next two days between his duties and your own and for that you’re extremely thankful. The date of your confession has arrived and you’re equal parts nauseated and exhilarated. Having never gone to confession of any sort before, you’re not entirely sure what to expect. You’re not ignorant - you’ve seen confession scenes in the media and have heard from friends raised in Catholicism - but what little you do know doesn’t assuage your anxiety. This was Satanic confession. A whole different beast. Your mind conjures images of blood rituals and sacrifices and being on your knees before Copia…his gloved hand tilting your chin upwards to look at him…
Christ Almighty, get your shit together.
You desperately try to, as you sternly told yourself, get your shit together but your mind is clouded the rest of your workday with positively sinful scenes of the two of you. You’re particularly fond of the one where he’s got you in his office, your skirt hiked up over your hips as you bend over his desk and he pushes himself inside you from behind. The thought of his voice in your head, calling you his sweet little nicknames as he fucks into you, makes you practically drip. The final two hours in your office are torture before you’re able to skitter back to your rooms. You’re not meeting with Copia for another few hours and you need to do something about the ache between your thighs. Impatiently, you fumble for the buttons on your blouse with one hand while pushing your skirt off with another. You must look a sight, ripping your bra off and flinging it somewhere on the floor, but all you can think about now is getting to your bed. You almost trip twice in the journey to your room, blindly stumbling over and flinging yourself on the mattress. What has gotten into you? You’ve been horny before, about Copia sure, but this? The way you’re practically whining when your hands meet your bare breasts? You feel positively feral.
“Copia,” you breathe, fingers pinching at your nipples. You imagine his hands on you, the way the leather would warm as he strokes your soft skin.
Dolcezza.
Fuck, you can hear it perfectly and it makes you sigh, one of your hands slowly sliding down your body to cup the heat of you. You’re sopping and time feels like it slows as you spread yourself open and slide two fingers against your engorged clit. All of your frantic rushing from earlier ceases as you twitch under your own touch, his name on your lips. You’re so sensitive right now it barely takes anything to bring you over the edge, but, you think as your orgasm wanes, it’s not quite enough. Taking a slow exhale in you slip your fingers lower and tease at your entrance. The digits glide in easily enough with the abundance of slick coming from you and languorously you begin to pump them in and out. Your eyes slide shut and you imagine it’s his dexterous fingers instead, curling inside you so you can feel every stitch and groove of his glove.
Cara mia, he’d murmur into your ear, so wet for me. So sweet for your Cardinal, eh? You honor me.
The whimpers crawling out of your mouth are getting more frequent and higher in pitch - you know you’re close. You bring your palm flat against yourself to push on your clit as your hips continue to make little circles, driving your fingers deeper in. Your hand is aching but it doesn’t stop you from pulling another orgasm out of yourself, chanting his name. Tears pool in your eyes and slide down your temples as you sob aloud and all of a sudden it’s too much. Your body spasms on the duvet, breath coming in harsh pants as you attempt to slow the thundering of your heart. It’s not the first time you’ve touched yourself to the thought of him, by any means, but something feels…different. More charged. You’re exhausted, bone tired as you try to organize your feelings. Reaching a hand up to rub your face you turn over and look at the clock.
5:32 PM
Your eyelids are heavy but you manage to lean over the side of your bed and locate your phone to set an alarm. Some sleep would do you good. Clear your head.
You don’t dream.
—------
Cazzo, cazzo, cazzo.
Copia paces back and forth in the small, dimly lit (romantically lit, some would say) chapel. The last sibling of the evening just left and now all that remains is…you. He barely heard what the siblings were telling him this evening, so anxious was he and caught up in the thought of you soon being in their position. More than once his vision went blurry as he imagined you a breath away, separated only by the decorative wooden screen.
He was so eager for you to walk through that door, now he’s not sure. With a heavy sigh through his nose he looks down at his watch.
6:58 PM
You’re always punctual and he counts on tonight being no different. Resigned to his fate, he shuffles over to the confession booth and opens the door, slotting himself inside. Shit, his ass hurts from the hard bench, why in fuck’s name had they not added a cushion to this side like there was on the other? He’s grumbling to himself in Italian when he hears the chapel door squeak open and firmly shut. Your soft footsteps approach - you must be wearing your sneakers and not your boots for the distinct clacking sound he usually hears from you has vanished. He sucks in a breath when he hears you open your side of the booth and quietly shut it. There’s a silence between the two of you so profound that when you finally speak he jumps.
“Hey. You’re in there right?”
He makes a loud, vague noise and sees your shoulders drop through the screen. He can’t get a read on your expression but the anxiety in the air has softened with your posture.
“Good evening,” he begins, a little stiffly. “Eh, welcome.”
You breathe out heavy through your nose.
“Copia, is this a good idea?”
He pauses and looks down to pull at a loose thread on his cuff.
“Are…are you nervous, cara?”
You let out a soft, self-deprecating laugh.
“Yeah, I’m fucking nervous! I’ve never even been to a regular confession let alone…this.”
“Well, we begin with the ceremonial bloodletting and–”
“Oh fuck off,” you grouse, flicking the screen that separates you. You fall silent after a moment.
“Cara, are you truly that anxious? Because we don’t have to do any–”
“I’m fine, Copia. Really. I don’t know why I'm so worked up. Fear of the unknown, I suppose,” you clear your throat and hears you crack your neck.
“Bene. Shall I go over the process with you? And remember this is a celebration. No shaming. No guilt. No wrong answers.”
You take a deep breath in and he sees you nod.
“I will start with the blessing and then we will go through the seven cardinal sins one by one. You may describe yours as briefly or lengthy as you like and we will venerate them. Once we have finished, I will close with a blessing. Then we will part. Nothing to be nervous about, eh? Are you ready?”
“Yes, please.”
“Very good,” he clears his throat and straightens his shoulders. “In nomine Padre, et Filio, et lo Spiritus Malum…we welcome this most sacred sinner into your embrace that she may revel in her transgressions against God.”
When he addresses you by name, he sees you jump.
“Let us begin with the Original Sin - pride.”
“Okay. Yeah. Pride.” There’s a few seconds of silence before he hears you softly curse. “Sorry, I should have made a list or something.”
“Take your time,” he says with a smile, simply content to be in your presence, “I have nowhere to be, cara. I am right here, ready when you are.”
He can see your eyelashes flutter as you look down and your cheeks bunch in a soft smile. Although mostly obscured, the sight still makes his heart soar. After a minute or so of silence you speak.
“Oh! Okay, uh pride. Well I was going to tell you about this anyway but…you know that little write-up I did of Satanic art in the time of the Counter-Reformation?”
“Naturalmente, it was superb.”
“Thank you. Well I thought it was too so I submitted it to a journal for publishing…and they accepted it.”
He can practically hear your grin and it makes him beam in return.
“Cara mia! Congratulazioni! You deserve nothing less! Although I hope you do not consider it a sin to rightfully celebrate an occasion such as this?”
You sigh.
“Ah, I don’t know. I may have bragged a bit too much to other people in the field. Felt a little too self-satisfied about it. So I think that would count, right?”
He scoffs.
“To Papa Frankie, maybe. To us it is a well-deserved acknowledgement of your hard work and something you have every right to be proud of. Dolcezza, even if you hesitate to celebrate yourself, know that I always will do so for you. Published in a journal, well done cara.”
He may not be able to see it in the low light of the confessional but he can picture your flushed cheeks perfectly in his mind.
“Anything else you would like to say on the matter?”
“No, that’s it.”
“Are you ready for the next?”
“Yes,” you say, with greater confidence, “let’s continue.”
“Onto the next. Envy.”
“Ah,” you seem to deflate a little and his brows knit together, “well about that. This…wow this is embarrassing.”
“No such thing as embarrassing at this moment. It’s a safe space, remember?”
“Right,” you huff, “okay well here it goes then. I see the sisters of sin every day walking around the corridors, working in the library, in the dining hall and…I envy them. I envy their bold confidence in their appearance and their sexuality.”
He’s silent for a moment, weighing whether or not he should say what he’s thinking. But you deserve to hear this.
“Confidence is not only represented by eh, wearing short skirts and high heels. I see you exude it every day when you’re bossing me around, no?”
You bark out a laugh and it lightens his heart.
“Truth be told,” he sighs, reaching up to pinch the bridge of his nose, “I’m not the best person to be taking advice on confidence from. But I know how to recognize it and I see it in you.”
“Thank you,” you murmur so softly he thinks he might have made it up, “can we move on?”
“Si,” he says before clearing his throat, “next one is wrath.”
He hears you suck in a breath through your teeth.
“Oh, I’ve got a good one for this. Well…not good. It wasn’t my best moment. But it definitely fits the bill.”
He makes a noise prompting you to continue.
“You know that new painting that Sister Imperator got at auction? The one of Lilith and Faust? It arrived last week and she asked me to oversee its unboxing. I told all the siblings working with me that once the box was open the painting was to be handled with archival gloves. I had to step out of the room for a second to talk to the head librarian and when I came back…not a glove to be found and the painting was halfway out of its crate. Copia I…I lost my shit. You know me I-I don’t get mad. But the fact that they had disregarded my instruction and got their bare fingers on that canvas, then acted ignorant about the whole thing…Christ, Copia I saw red. I don’t even remember half of what I yelled at them. I had to walk out before I did something I would regret. God, I already regretted raising my voice. I didn’t report them to Sister Imperator but she found out somehow…maybe the librarian? I don’t know what their punishment was but I haven’t seen them since. Copia, it was awful. I was awful.”
“With good reason,” he replies promptly, “they should have respected your authority as a professional in the field and by not doing so not only did they potentially damage Ministry property, but they also embarrassed themselves. Idioti. Though I would have liked to have seen you all riled up.” A confession of his own - Sathanas would he have loved to see you flying at them like a demon, your claws sharp and your words sharper. The thought sends a shiver of arousal down his spine and he takes a moment to gather himself before speaking again.
“Is that all you wish to say?”
“Yes. Can we please move on?”
“Very well. Next is sloth.”
You’re silent for a moment and his heart sinks, hoping you’re not dwelling too much on your last confession. He opens his mouth to speak but you beat him to it.
“Sloth, yeah. I, uh,” you let out a giggle and he’s relieved to hear it, “none of these can get me in trouble with Sister Imperator, right?”
“No,” he says slowly, a grin curling his lips, “this is just between us.”
“Okay good. Do you remember a couple weeks back when I texted you that I wasn’t coming in because I was having a migraine?”
“Sì…”
“I was lying,” the words blurt out of you in a rush but you sound almost gleeful about it, “I was so fucking tired and so cozy in bed and it was raining outside…I just couldn’t do it. Stayed under the covers all day watching Ghost Adventures.”
“Tsk, tsk, tsk,” he playfully chides, and he can see your shoulders shake with laughter, “Signorina I am stunned. Horrified, even–”
“Oh it’s not that bad.”
“Horrified…that you didn’t tell me so I could join you. I love those ghost hunting shows.”
Your laugh makes him smile in return, “Next time we’ll play hooky together, I promise.”
He sighs deeply. “Please. I could use it.”
“I know,” you murmur, “no one in this abbey works as hard as you do.”
“Grazie, tesoro. I appreciate your kindness.”
You make a warm noise of affirmation before speaking, “What’s next?”
“Gluttony.”
“Oh Christ,” you cringe, head falling forward, “Maybe…about a month ago? Primo came by my rooms and handed me a Tupperware container of brownies. Told me to eat one per sitting with a sweet old man smile on his face. I’m not an idiot, I heard what he grows in the abbey gardens but my God the stink that came off of these things. I knew I was about to get my shit rocked. So I ate my designated brownie and just puttered around, cleaning up the kitchen. All of a sudden, I’m flat on the floor in front of my fan having an out of body experience. I don’t know how long I was lying there for but by the time I hauled myself up I was so hungry I thought I was losing it. Went through a box of cereal, a sleeve of Ritz crackers, and the next thing I knew I was in the papas’ kitchen making a bag of popcorn. Don’t remember getting there and don’t remember coming back up to my rooms but the next morning I was tucked in bed. So weird.”
He chuckles nervously as if he wasn’t the one to find you wandering the kitchens stoned out of your gourd and put you there.
“Ha yes…weird. That’s…that’s all you remember?”
“Mmhmm. Talk about the devil’s lettuce. Was pissed I didn’t have any cereal the next morning, though.”
“Let’s move onto the next, hmm?” He’s a little louder than necessary but you don’t question his suspicious behavior.
“Yeah sure. Hit me.”
“Eh, greed.”
“Hmm,” you ponder and he hears the back of your head thunk against the wood of the booth. “Damn, this is a hard one.”
“It usually is, funnily enough. You can always skip it, if you like.”
“No, no, no,” you say, leaning forward, “I’m trying to get the full set, let me cook.”
That actually makes him laugh out loud. How he adores you so.
“Greed, greed, greed,” you mutter to yourself, “Ah…greed would include covetousness, yeah?”
“Mmm, is there something or perhaps…someone you have been coveting?”
It’s a leading question and he knows this as he hears your breath quicken. It’s at this point in his fantasies where you confess your adoration for him, where he flees the confines of his side of the booth to fall to his knees before you and worship you as Sathanas intended. His tongue darts out to wet his lips and he tastes the bitter tang of his paints which distracts him for a moment when he hears you say–
“Yes. There is someone.”
The silence is deafening between the two of you and his heart thuds against his ribcage, desperate for you reach over and tear it from his chest. He flexes his hands, the leather squeaking as the both of you sit with the words.
“O-oh?” he finally manages to stutter. He can see your eyes are shut and hears you loudly swallow.
“I, um,” you begin, “yeah. There is someone I’ve wanted for…a long time. I…I think he–I mean they–might reciprocate but…”
Tell her, you fool.
“Can we do the next one, actually?” your voice is so painfully soft and his stomach drops. She is doing you a kindness, his brain cruelly provides, by not telling you of who she truly wants. A sibling, perhaps. Or perhaps…one of your fratelli. The thought pains him so he nearly doubles over on himself as if being punched in the gut. Pride, envy, wrath, sloth, gluttony, greed.
Lust.
He’s startled by the sound of his own voice and you are too judging from the way you twitch. From his obscured view you look positively horrified, as if you had forgotten about this one.
“I haven’t been with anyone,” you blurt out, sounding both panicked and deeply embarrassed. He hardly recognizes his own voice as he responds with uncharacteristic calmness.
“Lustful acts…do not always have to involve another person.”
Now why the fuck would he say that? He can see your eyes widen and even in the dim light of the confessional he registers the violent blush on your cheeks.
“Oh I…oh.”
You raise a hand up to rub aggressively at your face, breathing deep.
“In that case, yes,” you finally say and his gut clenches, “I have indulged in the sin of lust.”
“A-about the person you covet?” He’s pushing it but he can’t help himself, can’t help the hope that simmers in his belly and makes his pants tighten.
“Mmm…mhmm,” you respond and you open your mouth to speak but hesitate. When you finally do, there’s a new tone to your voice - something low. Sensual.
“It’s…good. Fuck it’s good. When I think about them I-I go a little insane. I want them so fucking badly and it’s so easy to think about them and what they could do to me. What I would let them do to me.”
His fist flies to his mouth to stifle the whine that threatens to escape from him and his cock throbs underneath his cassock. He can feel your eyes on him, see your lips parted and it makes him lightheaded. Focus. Focus. Go over there and fuck her against this goddamned confessional. Focus.
“Sathanas bless you, tesoro,” he finally ekes out, his voice hoarse, “in celebrating your body a-and your desire you have made Him proud. Well done.”
A beat passes until you clear your throat. He thinks if he doesn’t tend to his dick soon he’s going to pass out.
“That’s all of them then, right? Got the full set?”
“Mmhmm. You can go if you like.”
“Didn’t you say there’s another blessing at the end?”
Satan damn your ability to vex him when he needs relief…and you…the most.
“Eh, yes. In nomine Padre, et Filio, e-et lo Spiritus Malum,” Cazzo what was the rest of it? “Ah…Sathanas bless this most sacred sinner for reveling in her transgressions against God. Nema.”
“Cool, well uh. Goodnight Copia. This has been…enlightening.”
“It certainly has,” he mutters under his breath, fingers itching to adjust his bulge. He’s not sure if you heard him or not because in an instant you’ve opened the booth and skittered down the nave to the door. He doesn’t breathe again until he hears you firmly shut it behind you and within seconds he’s fumbling for the hem of his cassock. He knows the likelihood that you were talking about him is slim but simply entertaining the thought that it could be has him unzipping his pants with vicious determination. When his cock finally, blessedly meets leather he could cry with relief. He knows he’s dribbling pre on himself but he doesn’t care - all that matters is the way you sounded confessing your lustful actions to him and how it drives his fist back and forth. Oh, how sweet you were. Tempting even when you weren’t trying to be. How he would revel in ruining you. The thought makes him double over, his unoccupied hand pressed against the wall of the booth in an attempt to stabilize himself. When he thinks of you eagerly spreading yourself open for him a broken moan escapes his lips, hips rutting upwards into his grip. What sweet little noises you would make - right there, Copia, please, that’s it - your body eager to yield to his touch.
“Dolcezza,” he grits out, “ragazza perfetta mia. S-so good–ah–for y-your Cardinal.”
His hand is a blur as it rockets along his shaft and he grunts into the silent chapel. He thinks of you looking up at him with that heart-shatteringly kind look on your face, your lips in a soft smile and he cries out, his seed painting his grucifix in desperate spurts. His mind is fuzzy but his hand doesn’t slow, determined to wrench every last drop out of himself until his head falls back and hits the wood of the booth. Groggily, he puts himself away and lowers his cassock before stumbling out of the confessional. His spend drips onto the stone floor but it matters little - surely it’s not the first that floor has seen. All of a sudden he’s exhausted - feeling every second of his five decades - as he blows out candle after candle. When his task is complete he trudges to the door and rests his forehead on the wood for a moment.
He thinks of your smile once more.
#cardinal copia#cardinal copia x reader#cardinal copia x female reader#the band ghost#the band ghost fic#rachel writes
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Taylor only has one thing when it comes to the opressed olympic. It's the fact she is a woman. And swifties use that for any criticism against her.
" Oh you just hate succesful women."
She isn't black, She isn't gay trans etc.., She isn't disabled, She isn't poor, she isn't jewish, she isn't muslim, etc... etc...
Swifties also need to learn that a black man is not more privileged than a white woman. They seem to think that she is always more oppressed against any other man.
They could literally think that a homeless black man has more privilege than the billionaire white woman. All because he is a man.
🔔🔔🔔 Ding ding ding, we have a winner, folks! You hit the nail on the head.
Taylor Swift has weaponized her white woman tears and "oppression" to her own benefit, and this is exactly how.
None of her fans seems to ACTUALLY understand how oppression works, they just take the pretty little buzzwords that they think are synonymous with "I'm a good person who's right" and parrot them like a $2 children's toy (half the time while sending death threats and racist/homophobic slurs, which makes it even more ironic)
Taylor Swift is not oppressed. She's just not. Honestly, yes, even though she's a woman - and before any feral Swifties come at me, I AM a woman - she's not oppressed, and I'll tell you why.
"Billionare" overrides most (not all) other categories. As soon as you're a billionaire, nothing else matters, because you can buy your way into and out of anything. Combine that with the facade that the entire world worships her, and guess what? Nobody gives a shit that she's a woman. She's not oppressed because a few people she's never heard of make jokes about how much she sucks - she DOES suck, but those comments have zero impact on her life. She doesn't even know they exist. In Taylorland, everyone loves her no matter what she does - even if she's best friends with/dating bigots.
In order for someone to be oppressed, systematic situations have to negatively impact their life on a day to day basis. Disabled people can't get married without losing their disability income. LGBTQ+ people are still getting murdered in the street for just existing and having their right to healthcare taken away. People of a variety of ethnic minorities still get denied things like loans at a higher rate than white people. Women get denied promotions because they're not men.
None of these things will ever happen to Taylor Swift. She can quite literally pay to access a "perfect" world, because she gets to pay her way out of normal life.
If someone makes a sexist joke? She can have that person fired and hire someone else.
She can pay for as much private security as she wants, so being safe is literally never a concern.
She can pay for private travel (and kill the planet every ten minutes), she can pay for private staff to handle her every whim and worry.
Taylor Swift has effectively paid her way out of oppression, because she can simply use her power, her money, and her legion of feral fans to get whatever she wants.
Someone makes a joke she doesn't like? Clearly it's "oppression" and now that person is "canceled" at best, or getting doxxed and sent death threats at worst.
Taylor Swift isn't oppressed because she can pay to fix nearly any problem in her life, so her biggest "problem" is people not unquestioningly worshipping her 24/7, which is what she weaponizes.
And fans will still claim that she's more oppressed than a black disabled homeless man, because they don't understand oppression OR intersectionality - all the know is worship Taylor and harass.
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Juni Ba is holding a Reddit "Ask Me Anything" session on May 7 at 4 PM CEST (10 AM EST).
Some of his answers in his previous interviews about The Boy Wonder, a reimagining of Damian's story—
This is a standalone graphic novel (Black Label), meant to be accessible to readers with no prior comic knowledge. It is meant for ages 13+.
Damian is Ba's favorite Robin, and he finds him very relatable.
On Damian comic influences, Ba says Son of Batman and Super Sons were two of his favorite books.
Other than Damian, Talia and Jason are the characters that Ba has been most excited to work with.
Ba did the art for the "Happy Birthday Damian" story in Truth & Justice; while the art was a test run for some design ideas he's using in The Boy Wonder, the actual story isn't necessarily indicative of his own writing style or his version of the characters.
Ba is a big fan of Darwyn Cooke. Justice League: The New Frontier thematically inspired him here, possibly more than particular Batman comics.
Ba is aware of the racism discussion regarding the al Ghuls, and he intends to humanize them.
Ba started writing in 2020 or 2021, and the story is being released now after a period of waiting.
"This is very much I guess a Juni Ba book that happens to feature Batman characters."
To start us off, what can you tell us about the story of your new series, The Boy Wonder?
I usually introduce it to people by saying it's the story of a child with a lot of hang ups and preconceived ideas, both about himself and his family members. Over the course of this coming of age fairy tale he starts to learn about them, and himself, and grow into a better person. And it really leans into the fairy tale aspect to push the allegory and the magic in this story!
Why does Damian appeal to you so much as both an artist and a writer?
I find him both tragic and adorable. He and I share some things and I think that's why my brain started coming up with a story about him all by itself. Writing wise there's a fertile ground to tell a really heartfelt story. And art wise, he's such a fun character to draw. It's like a cute little gremlin who's always frowning and judging everyone, which can often backfire on him in funny ways.
How much does Damian's past with Talia and Ra's al Ghul influence Damian and this story?
A lot! They raised him after all, so that upbringing influences a lot of what he does. But that includes Batman too, even if his influence is more recent. There's a looming presence of all the parental figures and the pressure of what they'd have wanted you to do, how they would have judged you.
Since we were talking about Damian’s mother, there have been questions surrounding characterization and stuff, especially for characters like the Al’Ghuls, whose stories unfortunately do have a lot of racist elements in their origins. Are you doing anything to combat or alleviate those concerns in your book?
Stories often dehumanize them, so I try to do the opposite. I think I have a very character-driven style of storytelling, and a lot of the time I try to give the point of view of as many people as I can in the story.
There are five issues. Three of them have the Robins, and then eventually we get to my 2nd favourite team up, which is with Talia and it’s done from her perspective. The main goal was to try to give her more of a voice, because you start this story with a kid who tells you “My parents are messed up,” he was essentially raised to kill people, but we see how she was raised too, and the faults that she can see in her father’s philosophy.
Ra’s gets a bit of that as well later on, but the main goal was, I want to make it so that when you start the story with Damian, he has a lot of preconceived ideas about both sides of his family, which make his relationships to everyone very difficult. Every adventure he has, he gets to understand things in a different light by the end of every story, and one of them was, “What is his relationship to his mom like?” And you get to see it from the mom’s point of view and understand that she loves her son, but there are a lot of complications that come from being raised by someone like Ra’s.
Beyond that, this is an older Talia, more mature and less sexualized than the usual I’d say. As for Ra’s, I can’t say much, but a lot of what you see of him at first is rooted in Damian’s childlike, heightened, and scared perception. Just like the rest, it gets explored later.
It sounds like the book will see Damian coming to terms with his place in the Robin lineage. How does he feel about his brothers?
This Damian would probably say they're usurpers, ingrates, failures and profiteers! It's pretty hard being raised as the center of all the attention, as well as a successor who's never quite enough for his grandfather, and then when thrown into the Bat family, he becomes what feels like the fifth wheel. The last and least appreciated son. So his whole arc will be about processing that.
Is there a character other than Damian that you’re particularly excited to be writing and/or drawing?
Jason and Talia, by a lot. I think because the core of it is this is a world of people who seem very perfect. Damian works as this kid who feels like he’s not good enough for that. But aside from him, there’s Jason, who’s really a well-intentioned, good hearted person who really bad stuff happened to, and he’s struggling to get out of the traumatic impact of that. And I think the story works really well in showing that.
Talia is kind of the same. It’s someone who has a very idealistic view of the world and wants to essentially, be allowed to shape the world into what she thinks it could be, but she has to be under the boot of someone else who is not very reputable, and it has impacted a lot of her life in ways that she did not intend, including her relationship to her son and that’s also probably why those two characters also get like an issue told from their perspective. I really wanted to show you the inside of their mind and dispel a lot of the prejudice that Damian has about the way they are.
I really love the way you visualize Damian and the other Robins expressing themselves with their eyes. What design elements of the character were you most excited to highlight to help show readers what Damian was feeling in a given moment?
I do love using the eyes to express! It’s a very efficient and visually compelling way to do it, but more so than that I use character design. Their shapes, their colors, they all are designed to convey something relative to the story at hand. For example Jason takes cues from Taxi Driver and the general feeling of alienation and being a drifter. It’s all to give a shorthand into how he feels, to then unpack that and give it context. Everything is story basically. Damian looks like a cute angry potato! And that’s all because despite how abrasive he can be, he has to remain endearing and you must see that it’s still a kid learning.
Well, since this is your own thing, I assume that must mean that you’re giving your own spin on these characters. Is there anything without spoilers that you can tease that is going to be different? Like if you’re a long time reader going into this you’re going to be surprised by it.
I’m someone who really likes a more fairy tale and magical side to storytelling. Something that I added a bunch of, I mean, they talk about demons in the solicits of the first issue. It’s both an allegorical thing and a very, real thing that the magical aspects of certain parts of that world have been pushed more.
The other big thing for me was Damian is the heart of the story, so everything is seen from his point of view. So Batman looks a lot more like a dad. Talia looks a lot more like a mom, and with every one of the Robins, I try to take a core concept of every one of them and push it to the forefront to contrast it to Damian. So like, I would say that the more fun part of it would be observing how Damian interacts with what’s essentially kind of a mirror put to himself every time. But overall the idea is a sort of cartoon-making logic, of taking the general elements in various iterations of a character, synthesizing them for the story, into something recognizable but digestible.
The Boy Wonder has this beautiful visual style - fairy tale, as you just said - despite some strong moments of violence. Why did you choose to tell the story this way?
Fairy tales are great for allegory, larger than life concepts and leaning into the magical. There's also a story reason I can't spoil but it makes for a great framing device.
[...] There are narrative reasons in the book that I can’t spoil, but overall I’d say it’s because it’s my favorite format, as well as a great way to really lean into the larger than life aspect, the allegorical, the magical. Fables often contain a nugget of a message or meaning, and this is a coming of age story, so it fits rather well.
The Boy Wonder is as much about Damian as it is his brothers. Has that story not been told enough — how similar and different Bruce’s kids really are — and did you draw on your relationship with siblings at all?
Pretty much no one I talk to in the larger world ever even knows that there are multiple Robins, let alone read their stories. So I’m glad to be making a book that’s easy to access for new readers, with no prior knowledge needed, that appeals on its own and can tell them a cool story about family and overcoming pressure. A story that works both for the ones who know these characters and want a self contained tale, and the ones who know nothing and just want a fun comic to read. The comic is Black Label, which usually skews older, but this is a tale I wanted accessible from mid teens to as old as you want.
And I did pull from experience! I have two siblings, my best friends all do as well, and the inner workings of how you view yourself and your family members depending on where you fit is interesting to me. It’s very much a tale of reckoning with your assumptions about your family, as well as the impact your parents had on you and your siblings.
What about Damian Wayne is so interesting to you? Do you think he gets a bad rap even now in the grander DC Universe?
Damian is simultaneously the most insufferable and most touching little boy to me. There’s a mix of adorable and deadly that I find amusing to watch, and satisfying to write. Plus I sympathize with him on a few backstory elements which are the cornerstone of the whole story.
As for his reputation, I think I’m glad there’s a reminder that being coarse and ill mannered can hide a good heart.
What are some of the benefits of putting this out as a DC Black Label book?
Mostly freedom! I got to tell the story I wanted. I didn't have to worry about continuity, and thus made what I like making: a self-contained adventure that anyone can appreciate as a comic, with or without any prior exposure to that world. Plus we got to have fun with the design of the issues!
Do you have a favorite Damian-starring story that you drew on for this book? Or maybe another Bat Family story instead/as well?
I think my two favorites were Son of Batman and Super Sons. I just vibed a lot with the fun adventurous tone. But most of my inspiration comes from outside superhero comics, or even outside comics as a whole. I didn’t even reread those two books I mentioned aside from when I needed to check phrasing. In that case I read those, and the early Damian stories just to absorb how he spoke.
But outside superhero stuff, were there any influences that were working on you as you were writing this story?
So a lot of comics from the 60s and 70s, from France and Belgium.I have a thing for like 80s and 90s movies, including movies that I was not supposed to watch when I was a kid, so stuff that’s drama-oriented. The point of this book is, it’s basically a character study, mostly of Damian, but also Damian through his interactions with other people in his life. So, mostly the other Robins, but also his parents and more so his mother.
The events that happen are really just a setting for you to observe how the characters interact, and there’s a bunch of movies in the 80s that were really good at doing that and showing you a very flawed person and the way that they react to the world around them. So yeah, that’s more of a tone thing. The aesthetic aspect was really taken from 60s and 70s French and Belgian comics as well as very old sci-fi, fairy tales, and black and white photography.
What’s the process look like for you when you write and draw a comic?
Whoa. Let’s see. So the origin of every book is a little different, but usually I spend a year or two, maybe more just thinking about the story and putting ideas down and then once I have an idea of how every story step works into each other, I start storyboarding so there’s no script.
[...] I don’t write scripts because I prefer to have the storyboard of the thing already made, because that’s where I know if something is working or not. Then once the storyboard has been greenlit and all the corrections are done, the next step is drawing the final pages. I do the sketching on my tablet, and then I print that in blue lines and ink over that. It’s a recent thing, I started doing it the last few months. The Boy Wonder was made that way. [...]
[...] I mean, technically, I started writing it in 2020 or 2021. Yeah. I’ve been sitting on it for a while, and then I made a tweet about it and it got the attention of Chris Conroy, who basically runs Black Label. He just asked, like, “OK, sure. Show it to me. I want to see what that’s like.” Several months later, the book was greenlit by DC.
You talked about how Batman: The Animated Series is an inspiration for this. And also because it’s Damian, I assume that the Grant Morrison Batman stuff is also an inspiration in some ways. But what other Batman material were you inspired by, if any, when writing this book?
Well, I wasn’t so much using Batman as I was using other things. Like there’s a bunch of influences from a bunch of different places, but the superhero stuff was mostly influenced by Darwyn Cooke. So it wasn’t so much Batman as much as it was Cooke. Like the thought process I guess was, “What do I like about these characters? Like the concept of the superhero?” Because the idea came from me watching a documentary about The Dark Knight Returns and Frank Miller. They mentioned how he was given free reign to make the Batman book he wanted. I just had the thought of, “Yeah, that would be fun, having a superhero story where you can just do whatever you want. Like, it’s your personal take.”
I guess from then, my brain started imagining a story with Damian because he’s my favourite Robin and I have a lot in common with him in terms of his backstory. I think it was this sense of sympathy towards the kid and the story grew from wanting to talk about the feeling of “You’re not good enough to be a part of the group you’re in or the family you’re in.” So being a superhero was more of an allegory of, “I don’t feel good enough to be a part of those great people who seem so perfect.”
Then the Darwyn Cooke stuff came. He was probably the biggest superheroic influence, because he’s kind of the epitome of superhero storytelling to me. He makes all his stories very easy to understand, very accessible to someone who maybe has never opened or barely knows what that character is about. His storytelling is also strong on its own artistic terms and most of all, he has this great sense of making superheroes this idea of the ideal version of ourselves, like those people who, even if they have bad thoughts or flaws that they have to overcome, they always do the right thing and they represent the best in all of us, and there’s a sort of sense of joyful fun in the superhero stories that he does. He also can talk about very serious subjects through that at the same time. My favourite superhero comic is The New Frontier, and I kept reading it over and over again when I was rewriting the book just to look at how he was managing that balance of joyful, superheroic, and inspirational fun, and the more serious themes. So yeah, the biggest influence would probably be him.
When I was doing research for this, I noticed that this isn’t your first time with a Damian comic. It was the “Happy Birthday Damian” story for Truth and Justice. Even over there, there’s a lot of similarities in terms of the character design, and even to some degree, Damian’s own struggle with his family and all that. So did that story help inform or define where you wanted to go with the characters for this book?
Well, no actually because basically when they asked me to do that story, the way it happened was that I was originally approached for something else, and I said, “I don’t really want to do that, but I’ve been writing this Damian story just for myself. Would you like to take a look?” Truth and Justice was kind of a test like, “We already have this story written by Andrew Aydin, and the idea was, do you want to draw it? It’s kind of a test run.” So I just used the designs I had already made for my own book. The fact that the themes are very similar is kind of a coincidence and it was kind of funny actually. It was a good way to sort of try my hand at drawing these for the first time, get a sense of what works and what doesn’t. I would say my story is a lot more complex, and delves a lot more into the psychology of most of the characters.
This book is an anthology like you said, where it’s about Damian with all these characters. But in terms of the structure of the story, is there like a connection beyond that, like Monkey Meat is all about the corporation. So is there a connection like that in this story?
Yes. It’s a narrative cut into different, contained stories, basically. Because the idea is that Damian is on a quest to try and prove his worth by defeating an enemy, and it’s really more of a set up to allow for him to meet all the different characters that he does. But the goal is that every story progresses that main plot that he’s on and getting closer to the final showdown against the big enemy.
The whole point is this kid needs to grow up and understand the familial context that he was born into on both sides, like a lot of it is him learning how complicated his parents are, and the effect that they’ve had on the people around them and learning to move beyond the trauma and the more negative impact of being the son of a guy who dresses like a bat, or the descendant of a selfish egomaniac. The big plot of the thing is a young boy wants to prove his worth and every story is a step on that journey towards the final end.
For Damian, you said he’s your favourite Robin. You relate to him a lot, but was there anything beyond that that made you want to sit back and think, “Okay, this is the character that I want to give my own spin on?”
I love the concept of Robin. When I was a kid, that was probably the thing that I liked the most about the Batman world. The reason why Damian worked so well is that it was such a perfect way to also tackle the previous ones, so every one of them represents some aspect of what being a Robin is like, and you can use that as an allegory for being part of a group or family with a code and stuff. You can talk about being part of a group with specific ideas of how you should behave, what kind of things you should uphold as good.
Damian’s the runt of the family. He’s the kid who just showed up. He doesn’t really know these people. He has a lot of preconceived ideas and it was a good way for me to be able to also talk about the previous Robins through him. It’s not a meta commentary, it’s more like, “Why do you like these concepts? What speaks to you as a person when you watch those beacons of goodness do things?” Damian is kind of like the audience surrogate in discovering that aspect of things at the same time.
What’s Damian’s favourite sandwich?
Well, I’m going to try and focus on my version of Damian from The Boy Wonder specifically. That Damian, his favourite sandwich would probably be something made by the mystical creatures that serve his grandfather, who take care of the whole land that they live in. So it’ll probably be a sandwich made with vegetables and meat from supernatural sources, something that he would not be able to get in Gotham because no one even knows that this stuff exists.
I like the idea of how even his favourite food is inaccessible in the new place that he’s in, furthering the whole alienation that he’s experiencing.
If Damian had a favorite song, what would it be and why?
I’m now going to show my age and mention how my teen sister listens to these moody chill songs that sound like the softer version of the emo rock I listened to as a teen, so I’d say that style! (Don’t ask me to name them, I don’t know!)
A song from my angst phase? “Numb” by Linkin Park.
#The Boy Wonder#Boy Wonder#Damian Wayne#Talia al Ghul#Talia#DC Robin#Robin DC#Ras al Ghul#Ra's al Ghul#Senegalese artist#Juni Ba#Darwyn Cooke#Jason Todd#Nightwing#Dick Grayson#Batman and Robin#Batman comics#DC Black Label#[sigh]#Batboys
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I loved the karina sub drabble omg — do u think you can write abt tying ningning up and using her (face riding, fingering, ass or tit play, eating her, whatever you’d like) then eventually she breaks the ties and spanks reader till they come pls? I love ur writing xoxo ‼️
[Hello sweetie, of course I can. Thank you for your kind words and for being so polite, I appreciate that🫶]
An habit of Ning when she wakes up is to sit up and have a good arm stretch; however last morning she was not able to do that. "Good morning, princess", you said with an evil smirk on your face. "Good morning, baby...why am I tied?", she asked, being at the same time confused and curious.
You moved your hands under the blankets, caressing Ning bare legs. Your gf had quite outfit for the night: nightgown and panty, that's it. "It's because you were looking a bit too good while sleeping", you explained, pushing away the blankets.
"Baby, I have dance practice later, we ca-", her words were interrupted by a kiss. You literally shuted her up with your lips, while your hands were busy unbottoning her gown, in order to have free access to her tits.
Immediately you started playing with them, while Ning could only squirm and kick lightly her legs in pleasure. After making out for a bit, your lips moved down, leaving a trail of kisses until reaching her nipples, just to suck and bite them.
"Fuck...I swear sometimes you're such a baby", she muttered, biting her lips. "Am I? Well, you seem to like that tho", you teases her, moving your hand down, on the wet spot formed on her white panty.
You rubbed againt her covered pussy, making Ning begin to pant. "No, don't touch there, I'm sensitive", she tried to complain, failing to hide how good you were making feel her. "What did you say? Keep going? Sure, princess", you teased her, proceding to move her panties aside and sliding your fingers inside.
"Shit...ahhh... you're evil", she cried in pleasure; she couldn't help but move her hips in rhythm with your fingers pumping inside her hole. As the little shit you are, you started to twist your fingers inside her, reaching all her weak spots.
Ning could barely think straight at that point, she knew it had no sense trying to resist you, you had all the power in that situation; the same power you used in fingering her until her juices started overflowing from her cunt, making the bed wet.
"Ahhh... ahhh...fine, you made me cum...wait, what are you doing-", she asked, seeing you leaving her nipples in peace - they were aching for how much you sucked them - just to move your head in correspondence of her pussy.
"No, baby, don't you even think about it, I've just cu-", once again you don't listened to her, drowning your face in her sensitive pussy, still leaking her juices. "So tasty, I love it so much", you commented, while keeping her legs widened and licking her clean.
Ning chest was moving up and down so fast, her pleasure didn't seem to stop, on the contrary it was growning up every minute. But the "worst" part was when you started sucking on her clit. In that moment she completely lost it, her abs contracting while squirting all over your face.
"Ahhh... ahhh...my pussy hurts...are you done now?", she said in a high pitched voice, tears running down her face. "Done? Not at all, pretty princess", you grinned, slapping her pussy and making her leaks some more liquid, while pushing her head back.
Then you stand up on your feet and walked until being over Ning head. She didn't even try to protest, she just waited for you to sit on her face and do your things. And you did. Your pussy was now grinding against her mouth.
You were going as hard as you can, totally using her face like an item for your pleasure, when a sentence escaped from your mouth: "Yes, take that, you slut". That made Ning snap: how did you just called her?
Maybe you didn't tied her well in the first place or maybe all the movement made the knot loose, but finally your gf was able to get her hands free from the rope, pushing you away when you were so close to reach your climax.
"You fucking brat, now we'll see who's the slut", she said between her teeth, pulling you over her legs, your core against her thighs. A sharp blow hit your booty cheek, making you gasp loudly.
"Bad girls should be punished", she growled before hitting you again in the same spot. Your skin was becoming so red and you couldn't seem to escape from that situation because her grip was so strong.
"You're slut, you are!", she cursed, slapping your ass more and more. Your skin was sore and your pussy was throbbing. The fact that Ning was putting you in your place was so hot for you. She may be small, but she was scary.
"You whore!", she thundered, giving you the strongest slap so far, making you finally cum all over her legs, moaning like a real whore. "Mmm...baby...ahhh... I'm sorry", you cried in pleasure, making Ning satisfied. She got her revenge.
#kpop thoughts#girl group x reader#kpop smut#kpop x fem reader#girl group smut#kpop girls#aespa smut#aespa x fem reader#aespa ningning#aespa ning yizhuo#ningning smut#ningning x fem reader
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Okie so hot take: I don’t think Melinoë is as good of a protagonist as Zagreus. And here’s why.
It all comes down to motivation. Why did Zag go through the events of Hades 1? Because he was living in an abusive and volatile household and had to find some way to make things better for not just himself but his house. Otherwise he surely would have lost his mind having to deal with the abuse he got (remember at the beginning of the game basically only Nyx and Achilles were helping him. Everyone else is either neutral towards him or outright hostile). He needed answers, he needed to find out who and what he was by trying to find Persephone. And in the end he succeeded and was able to create a better life for himself and his house. Hell, even his relationship with his dad improved.
Now let’s look at Mel (yes this criticism is only addressing Early Access Hades 2). Why is she going through the events of Hades 2? Because… she’s been groomed since basically birth to kill Chronos. She doesn’t really have any other motivation than because it is what is expected of her essentially. She even says during her confrontation with Chronos, AFTER HE THREATENS TO HURT HER FAMILY, what do I care I barely know them (yeah sure she could just be bluffing to Chronos but that is still a very chilling thing to say when supposedly all of this is to save them and it makes her reunion with Hades lowkey ring hollow or weak). In another scene she even says the same thing to Hecate and says Hecate is more her mother than anyone else. Heck even in the flashback scene with young Mel and Hecate (which was very cute I’ll admit) she says she would want her mother to come back so Hecate isn’t sad. This makes all her motivations to kill Chronos and save the Underworld seem very… disconnected from the main component of the game? Being saving the house of hades and her family??
Like it’s expected of her and she was raised at birth to basically be prepared for this but she doesn’t have any personal reasons for doing any of this than just not letting Hecate and the others in the Crossroads down. Hell when she comes back from killing Chronos for the first time it honestly feels like Hecate is more interested and invested in what happened than Mel herself.
It makes her a really weird protagonist especially when comparing to her brother and how effective he was as a protagonist. Think about it, with Zag we got really in depth and character revealing moments where as the player we understand why he is doing all of this and so it is easy to go along for the ride because we like Zag and want to help him. Mel says she cares a lot about what is going on and wants revenge, but it all feels surface level (and which is understandable she doesn’t know these people, all she can say is “the titan took my family” when let’s be real she sees the people in the crossroads as more of her family). It honestly just seems like because she is expected to kill Chronos since she could think, she feels she has to do all this. It feels weird how she is disconnected from the core point of the game being to save the house of hades when Zag was so integral to that same core point in the first game.
I dunno, just my thoughts, I’m curious to see what everyone else thinks.
#I dunno I just don’t get that same drive and determination that I saw in Zag from Mel#it all feels very performative#and moments like the Chronos and Hecate conversations showcase her actual thoughts on the issue at hand#and it makes me think okie girl then why are you doing all this?#is it literally only so mommy Hecate isn’t disappointed in you??#I feel a lot of the game could be better honestly#it all feels very performative and not as genuine as Hades 1#it’s not bad mind you still a very fun and entertaining game#but honestly it really isn’t doing the magic hades 1 did with its story#I have other issues too but this specifically was floating in my head and I wanted to get it out#Mel doesn’t suck mind you I think she’s interesting just I think Zag is written better#and yeah I probably have some bias since zag is basically my favorite character but still I think it’s worth thinking about#pomegranate rants#hades#hades game#hades 2#hades 2 spoilers#spoilers#hades zagreus#zagreus#hades melinoe#melinoe#melinoë
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Five things Porsche learns about Kim lets gooooo
This actually started as a prompt from @shubaka forever ago (before we were friends 🥺) and I decided to torture myself by turning it into a 5+1 fic! But then I stalled out bc I didn't know what to add for the other parts klasjdhgf. It's actually still floating somewhere around here in my writing tag!
In it, Porsche is trying to befriend Kim, and Kim is horribly resistant to it. Porsche steals Chay's phone since Kim won't answer him, only for Kim to hang up as soon as he speaks, it's a whole thing. Basically Kim being forced to bond with his future brother in law <3
The first thing Porsche learns about Kim is that he's a squirrely little bastard. He weasels his phone number out of Chay - after finding out that Kinn didn't have it saved in his own phone, which will be a conversation for later - but Kim doesn't any answer any of the flurry of phone calls and texts that Porsche hurls his own way. Apparently, according to Porchay, Kim has memorized all the numbers of everyone important enough to be worth his time, and doesn't bother with anyone else.
What if someone has to borrow a phone? Porsche had asked.
Sucks to be them, Chay replied, with a silly smile that might mean he's kidding, or it might mean he knows exactly how ridiculous Kim is being, but still somehow likes him anyway. Porsche would prefer the former but he's almost certain it's the latter, and he's trying to figure out exactly why Chay would like him so much.
Because as far as Porsche can tell? Kim is more akin to a feral cat than anything else. Keeps his distance, sullenly watches Porsche anytime they happen to be in the same room, looking away only to scan for the nearest exit - which he takes at the earliest opportunity - and Porsche is certain Kim has actually hissed at him once. Probably not.
Since Kim won't answer unknown numbers, Porsche is forced to stoop to his level. Kinn's phone is of course out of the question, which only leaves one other person, at least only one Porsche can easily access, guaranteed to have it.
He's holding a struggling Porchay in a headlock while the phone dials. It only rings once.
"Hello, love," Kim greets, his voice warm and syrupy and so, so fond that Porsche has to gag, just to see the way his brother flushes.
"I'm sorry, Kim!" Porchay shouts. He's still struggling, digging his hands into Porsche's sides. "I tried to stop him!"
"Porsche." And there it is, that flat tone Porsche is used to.
"Hi, Kim, how's it going?" he asks casually.
"Goodbye.
"Wait, wait, wait!" It's no use. The line is already dead. Porsche releases his brother with a groan, and doesn't fight it when Chay snatches back his phone. "Why does he have to be so difficult?"
"Kim doesn't like being cornered, hia," Chay scolds him. "If you just talked to him like a normal person-"
"He won't let me! He keeps running!"
"You're intimidating!" Porsche doesn't believe that for a second. If Kinn wasn't intimated by him, no way his feral, murderous little brother was. "Maybe you're coming on too strong? He probably think you're gonna kill him for, y'know..."
"No, I don't know." Porsche side-eyes Chay, who's no longer making eye contact. "Do I need to kill him?"
"No!"
"Should I want to?"
"Hia, No!" Chay throws his hands up. "See! This is why he won't talk to you! You're embarrassing."
"Good. Also, I don't care. I want to talk to him, and unless he wants me to lock you in your room and forbit you from seeing each other for the rest of your life, he better cooperate."
Chay lets out a sigh like the weight of all the world is bearing down on him. "I'll talk to him," he mumbles, sullen.
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This is your reminder to go email your local library head/director to give them a list of Solarpunk books, and ask to see if they’re able to get them in large print and Braille. And! If you have an absolutely favorite book and your library doesn’t have it, either in the mass produced print, large print, or in Braille, you should email the library head/director to see if they will be able to get it in! Accessibility is important, and reading is fun! Share the joy!
#solarpunk#reading#accessibility#library#large print#braille#blind#low vision#books#listen I just think it’s important that the blind and low vision population have access to Solarpunk books#because tbh i don’t know if the Solarpunk books that are in circulation have Braille or large print editions#but with enough demand we will have that available#and also not everyone who is blind or low vision listen to audiobooks#they could just not like the voices#or they may feel like they like to go at their own pace by reading it#but we also must not forget people who are blind/low vision who are also deaf and/or hard of hearing#these things can stack you know#so why not make things as accessible as we can?
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i don't really know how to word this but like i feel like i'm gonna forever have to deal with the pain and heartache of one of my very first pokémon games- the first 'normal' pokémon game i've ever played, that i will have lasting nostalgia and love for as a result of it being formative to my introduction into the series- being the one that will forever be looked down upon for bad graphics and technical issues as a result of the game having been rushed
like i honest to goodness want to scream and yell and cry into the void about how this means everything to me and will always be one of my fave games just in general. but how am i gonna do that without someone being like 'the broken overpriced mess? the one that's missing all this stuff from the older games that was great? the thing with all the cringe? that one?' or whatever. and the thing is they aren't wrong for their criticisms either like i know the fact that they rushed this wonderful game hardcore is a massive stain on its reputation and it hurts me too but like i cannot turn off the brain full of love in me and be a mean critic. or even an impartial one. i mean i criticize everything i love don't get me wrong i am constantly running my mouth about what i like and don't like. but at the end of the day i approach all media with an unusually optimistic mindset. if you see me talk a ton about something no matter what i'm saying you can bet it means i love it.
just. aaagh. it's always tough being a new fan of an old series. i'm like too embarrassed to express my opinions bc i feel like they're invalid y'know? i feel so exhausted every time i see something to the effect of like 'oh those poor kids these days having to deal with such bad quality everything what a bad time to be a fan of pokémon wow y'all make me feel so old' well see the thing is i actually am thriving and i love it here. and i'm also an adult myself so i have more critical thinking skills than people who played red when they were like five years old did. and even with the power of critical thinking i manage to be in love with this. join me in marvelling at the beauty of life
#sorry for the massive rant i am full of both love and rage but i feel alone in this world about this particular subject#my other fav complaint is like 'they make it too easy to xyz these days'#to me that reads like 'i suffered so why shouldn't they'#yes we should encourage people to spend 100 hours grinding to do basic story requirements.#to weed out the true gamers from the weaklings. or maybe we could use the spare time in our lives to touch grass#the only easy-fication change in sv i don't like is the ability to access boxes right from the menu#that kinda cheapens the need to strategically organize a team before heading somewhere#i can.. sorta understand being miffed about the remember moves mechanic?#frankly platinum was so stressful with not being able to freely switch without great hassle/cost#it would have been a fair enough compromise to make you pay a bit of lp or something#or do it for free but having to go to like a pokécenter or something#i'll never agree that exp share is bad though sorry#pokémon#ok but about the 'i feel bad for kids these days with these ugly designs/lame 3D models' thing#yeah i have news for you every gen has its ugly/stupid pokémon.#dude look at exeggcute#and some of the oldest spritework is hideous#granted the ds era spritework was beautiful#but i don't see what is so bad about the 3D models of today? they're both nice...#dude play an indie game or something if it's that important to you idk#it will never be the 90s again. it will never be the 00s again. i'm sorry.
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Let me be absolutely clear -- the problems with Tumblr will keep getting worse if the disabled minority and the trans people and the people frothing at the mouth at the opportunity to yell at a transphobe, keep @’ing staff and the developers on this site, tell them to kys, because in the meanwhile the transphobes and racists and white supremacists will keep using the actual tools Tumblr provides for blocking and reporting, further poisoning the datasets used for moderation, and encouraging the idea that using the official tools does nothing to basically ensure the only statistically meaningful data available to Automattic is poisoned, poisoned all the way down, poisoned beyond usability.
Hatespeech and bias needs to be reported for it to be considered statstically significant to act on from a developer point of view. Suicide baiting and spamming any of the official means of communication will get you eliminated as a spammer, even if you’re peppering legitimate criticism within your ventpost about how you hate the new thing. You are playing the TE/RFs game.
#van stuff#the biggest reason we don't have an easily accessible 'report hatespeech' button is a) because people misused the old one#and b) because it's not satistically significant enough to be the first thing people want to report#this is like. COMMON fucking knowledge that moderation on Tumblr is 99% automated and extremely cheesable#and you now who are cheesing it? TRANSPHOBES!!!#Like this is not even a 'the developers won't care' kind of thing#this is a 'THE DEVELOPERS NEED HARD DATA TO JUSTIFY MAKING CHANGES'#if the ARE actively malicious then the data contradicting everything they're saying will FORCE changes#and if they mean what they say when they say they value the site for its vibrant culture#then giving them hard data to share with unconvinced people signing off on them having the budget to change things will ONLY help#the whole 'let's yell at staff every time anything happens' is a shibboleth#You're all being fucking exhausting#I want to quit Tumblr because if the userbase is gonna be like this!!!#If ALL I SEE for DAYS ON END is 'staff this' 'staff that'#that's JUST GIVING ME WORSE ANXIETY ABOUT THIS SITE GOING DOWN#'this change is bad for disabled users' YOUR NEEDLESS CONSTANT HOSTILITY AND PANIC RAISING IS ALSO BAD FOR ME A DISABLED USER#WHY DO I HAVE TO BE THE COLLATERAL DAMAGE???#'Oh staff could make so much money if they only listened to feedback' you fuckers DON'T LEAVE FEEDBACK THOUGH#you just @ Staff and think that that's statistically meaningful data they can use#Fuck's sake#And that's not counting all the times staff *did* implement changes we wanted for years... AND YOU ALL STILL COMPLAINED#WE MODDED TAG VIEWING IN FOR YEARS AND NOW WHEN IT'S OFFICIAL YOU FUCKERS DON'T EVEN KNOW HOW TO TURN IT OFF#Fucking EXHAUSTING the lot of you
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youtube
this is a good video about public transit, i honestly have just been kind of going around saying "yeahhh trains always a better idea than cars" but this explains why that's not always like, the be all end all of the conversation. public transit that isn't implemented well can be it's own hellish thing. i think it doesn't help that when america is built Around a car-centric model that means all of the infrastructure is...further away...to accomodate cars and parking...and it makes the problem worse and harder to work around without a lot of disruptions
#i imagine it works so well in european countries because they are....comparatively small#not to say it cant be done but its an undertaking we have to be ready willing and able to handle#for all the things that can and will go wrong#and finding ways to always be making things more accessible#like. we have a bus system in my city but it's absolute dogwater#that's why people hardly take it#Youtube
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truly something that, amidst facing / going through a dramatic Life Change ft. unavoidable emotional effects of that, there are instances where i can't conceal any & all degrees of being distressed / upset, & repeatedly getting "it's hard for me too" as a Direct Response to that: really something & a half how the asserted theoretical Sympathy of [i feel similarly!] is invoked so as to, oh you know, preclude sympathetic Treatment. such as that what would be More sympathetic in these instances would be to say Nothing, "if there's nothing but dismissal / making it first & foremost about someone else's feelings to say, don't say it at all" style
#reading also that original Lovelessness essay ''love is meant to make me human / love is also the mechanism by which my humanity#has been denied'' always preferring to have [sorry! couldn't fully bottle up this Emotiona externally manifesting at all!] Ignored rather#than ''nicely'' interacted with so as to Invalidate; Dismiss; someone's annoyed at you for having it; etc#for bonus context like we are not in the same boat with it.#not a case of ''the same situation; mine is worse though'' like no; fundamentally different situations here lmao. mine is worse#If You Feel So Bad. Or At All. then at least now do me the favor of Not Saying That; Repeatedly#their feelings put on me too in other ways. stewing resentment into lashing out; tossing out ''but i'm justified'' like ok! Your business!!#the ol like. If You're Going To Do Something Anyways then how you justify it to yourself is Your business / b/w you & your god as they say#& the last thing to do is be making it the problem of ppl Most Affected by what you're gonna do anyways & Also ask their Absolution.....#like if you need more moral support abt What You're Doing Anyways: turn to Anyone Else. even No One if you have to.#bit going tf through it when it's spilling over into Posting but such is life!! we all have that [the horrors. girl help] blogger on dash#again the tl;dr like oh you don't say. the [umm but have you considered? My Feelings! (they're so sympathetic at all. yor welcome)] is#the mechanism through which Really basic sympathy is being denied & replaced with [Saying Nothing would've been less hurtful]#misgendering me the other night too while Also all 'hey I'm trying to talk to the customer service. why are You going up & talking first'#(that was me experiencing the latter. i didn't say it but i was like cmon. my glasses are fogging up w/surgical mask (don't have access to#more effective masks so doing what Nonzero i can there) i'm a bit carsick i'm weathering a crisis. can i have anything here lol)#just Oh You Know. The Horrors....#balancing ofc trying to endure trying to self soothe etc etc. with ''it's the horrors. it's gonna be horrific & you're gonna be affected''#ah the [being kind to oneself] like also means knowing how reasonable it is to Not solo contain & endure & Cope Through everything....#crushing a paper cup in my hands genuinely i would like to generously thank my virtual allies out here today. mic feedback#irl In Real Life? life is Real asf here & nobody Realer than them
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#it is 5 hrs past my bedtime and i am awake listening to Two Hearts by Dermot Kennedy on loop and crying over Rotating Shifts. again.#i couldn’t resist the urge to read the latest chapter any longer but i knew when i did i’d get like this#so Why did i wait for my period to roll around. i have made. a silly decision lmaooo#i’ve complained abt it before but i’m conflicted about how much more sensitive it makes me#my nightmares usually don’t make me cry but oh i was a Wreck this morning#so why i picked tonight to read the fic that always makes me cry is beyond me#i have never met a fic before that had me in such an intense emotional grip#and it’s fucking hilarious bc it’s not that intense of a story!! like yeah there’s been devastating parts but i’m out here having to-#-take a break every single chapter bc i’ll read one line that hits my inner child like a truck and i have to take a minute to recover#but the whiplash this fic gives me is so fucking funny and the range in the storytelling from comedy to tragedy is just.. *scream-cries*#it has my favorite characterization of Sun and Moon that i have ever seen#this chapter wasn’t even that sad i’m just Making myself sad about it#but on another level it also makes me sad in the sense that i don’t think i’ll ever be able to write something that good..#all that i want out of my writing endeavors is to make one (1) person feel as strongly and as much as RS makes me feel#and i don’t know if i can do that. i don’t know if my writing has what it takes bc i can’t even describe exactly what it is#i don’t think it’s a science that can be replicated. things either connect with someone or they don’t#the way Sun goes from worryingly innocent ‘wdym we can’t invite strangers to live with us?’ ‘wdym we can’t adopt an adult that needs help?’#to fucking. tearing an animatronic in half in a fit of protective rage and blocking access to all dating apps to prevent you from-#-finding anyone else bc he’s your Special Friend and he can’t have his Daydream falling for anyone else!! no no!!#it’s not a new concept but i eat it tf up when Sun is actually the one you should fear the most#like no i don’t think he’d hurt Reader but i dread to think of the things he would do For them#the back and forth between childlike innocence and terrifying intelligence possessiveness and physical capability is just mmmmm 100/10#and don’t even get me started on Moon. or i Will start crying again#he’s like yeah dumbass of course i’m gonna save you every time some POS man tries to **** you. of course i will you fucking crater-head#but i will complain at you about it the Entire way home and then i will steal your fucking toilet paper and pack you a raw egg for lunch#because i hate you 🖤 but Sun loves you and we would both kill for you 🖤 also i drank all of your chocolate milk 🖤 also i hate you :)#anyways i am paraphrasing obviously and dear god i hope no one who actually reads RS sees this bc i do not want my 2am ramblings taken as-#-any kind of Official Thoughtful Analysis of the story ok pls pls pls let me be insane abt my favorite fic without having to be articulate#i just have so many fucking FEELINGS about them. i am unwell.#i’m not even tagging this i’m just hitting post and going to sleep goodnight
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I crave validation so strongly. I wish I could help everyone in the world and yet I am unable to help myself.
#this website is constantly telling me that trying to help myself with mental health is some sort of bougie indulgance and insulting to gaza#and it's a quick jump from there to thinking the same about trying to access transition#and from there it's my life is meaningless and my suicide would be celebrated if i put the right post on twitter before#tw suicide#i feel like the obvious thing to do is quit tumblr and stop encountering these messages- but i have nowhere else i feel#i can talk about the ugliest parts of myself#and recently i put an artwork on instagram that i worked on for 15 months and it got 7 likes and i'm fucking destroyed by that#i genuinely can't tell you how upset#but i know that's not healthy- i should be able to like and feel proud of my work no matter how many people press a thing#or see it in the first place- we all know its algorithm that does it#i never want to become someone who moans about algorithms and guilts for likes and yet here we are#leaving instagram would seem the obvious solution but i need that validation so badly#i don't even want to make art my job ever! i'll be doing it no matter what i just want people to like it and like me#to think i am someone worthwhile#i don't understand why i'm like this i have no good reasons i have never lacked for love in my life#and yet i can't feel it#i hate myself
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genuinely so angry and scared im shaking. how many other times this week this month this year have i been exposed without knowing it. do people even tell each other anymore. it’s just so grim. it’s so fucking grim
#purrs#delete later#covid19#i am fighting for my fucking life every day to stay safe and to keep the people around me some of whom are disabled / chronically ill /#immunocompromised / medically vulnerable safe. i am fucking fighting for my life. it’s already hard that i am usually one of two people in#any given room still wearing a mask let alone an n95 mask. hard and bad enough that we get looks for wearing masks and people think im crazy#for my life still being on hold and for my family still basically never going anywhere. ITS FUCKING WORSE that we are still very much in the#throes of all of it and we are in constant physical and quite frankly EXISTENTIAL danger not only of getting sick / becoming (more)#disabled / literally fucking dying but also returning to the absolute hell of lockdown which while important was psychologically damaging in#ways that are difficult to even articulate. like not only have we as a society decided to not give a shit about unpacking all of that and#healing from the trauma and assuming everyone went through the same thing when we very much did not and to just send everybody back to#school and work because 🤑🤑🤑🤑🤑capitalism🤑🤑🤑🤑🤑 but we have ALSO decided to pretend like the freakish unceasing danger just doesn’t exist#anymore and to get rid of every tool we had available to keep us safe or at minimum make people have to pay exorbitant amounts of money to#access them because 🤑🤑🤑🤑🤑capitalism🤑🤑🤑🤑🤑 !!!!!!! im TIRED. im so fucking tired of it. i am so fucking exhausted and angry and scared. and i#HAVE the luxury and privilege of being able to afford n95 masks and covid tests and to be able to work a job that i can do remotely if i#need to and to not be disabled or immunocompromised. what makes me fucking furious is we decided to throw all the people who don’t have#that access or privilege under the fucking bus and forget about them lol. but what do you expect from a country rotten to its core the way#it is lol. im fucking despondent. why are we living in an incinerator.#* the lockdown(s) werent just important they were necessary. and arguably we should have another one even though if we do i genuinely fear#for my mental health both during and afterwards and quite frankly before. im tired. i am grateful for the life i live which has resulted in#part from the different things that have happened because of the pandemic but i also so desperately wish this never happened and every day I#think about what life would be like if it hadn’t happened. the grief of it all is unspeakably big.
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I have to be so honest I think for what Duolingo is and what it offers it’s wayyyyy overly criticised
#and I’m so sick of it!!!#considering it’s completely free and offers such a large variety of languages#languages where it could be near impossible to find any other rescource that’s even half as good as Duolingo#‘here’s why you should stop using Duolingo’ okay can you provide me any other app/website as accessible that teaches Scottish Gaelic?#and also it has to even attempt to include all aspects#speaking listening writing and reading#like Duolingo attempts to do#there are some apps out there that require a payment#only offer like spanish French and German#and are actually worse at teaching you those languages#also I’m sick of the whole ‘it will never get you fluent!!!’#like yeah we know??#but it’s also important to have things to teach the basics#and try and make it fun too#also I don’t think I’ve ever even seen Duolingo advertise itself as smth to get you fluent#which I’ve definitely seen other apps do#okay rant over
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