#i never want to become someone who moans about algorithms and guilts for likes and yet here we are | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs | Tumgik

#i never want to become someone who moans about algorithms and guilts for likes and yet here we are

wild-at-mind · 2 months

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I crave validation so strongly. I wish I could help everyone in the world and yet I am unable to help myself.

#this website is constantly telling me that trying to help myself with mental health is some sort of bougie indulgance and insulting to gaza #and it's a quick jump from there to thinking the same about trying to access transition #and from there it's my life is meaningless and my suicide would be celebrated if i put the right post on twitter before #tw suicide #i feel like the obvious thing to do is quit tumblr and stop encountering these messages- but i have nowhere else i feel #i can talk about the ugliest parts of myself #and recently i put an artwork on instagram that i worked on for 15 months and it got 7 likes and i'm fucking destroyed by that #i genuinely can't tell you how upset #but i know that's not healthy- i should be able to like and feel proud of my work no matter how many people press a thing #or see it in the first place- we all know its algorithm that does it #i never want to become someone who moans about algorithms and guilts for likes and yet here we are #leaving instagram would seem the obvious solution but i need that validation so badly #i don't even want to make art my job ever! i'll be doing it no matter what i just want people to like it and like me #to think i am someone worthwhile #i don't understand why i'm like this i have no good reasons i have never lacked for love in my life #and yet i can't feel it #i hate myself

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