Prompt 115
“Seriously old man?” the rumbling voice nearly caused Tim to jump, his eyes darting away from where Ras was sitting, the Al Ghul almost seeming to perk. It was kind of hard to miss the man… teen… being? It was kind of hard to miss the owner of the voice what with how their hair looked like it was on fire.
They motioned around at well, everything, crimson eyes looking exasperated. “Really?” They were definitely motioning towards him, interrupting Ras when he opened his mouth to talk. “No, I don’t want to hear it, I swear- Did he kidnap you?” That was definitely aimed at him.
“N-no?” Tim was feeling slightly unbalanced and may be on hour sixty without sleep at this point, if the hour long nap was counted. “I need help finding my not-dad who's lost in time.”
The being let out a strangled noise that Tim could nearly swear was almost another one, but couldn’t vocalize his slurred thoughts as the dude muttered something, motioning around as though he was tempted to strangle something or someone.
Ras cleared his throat, looking almost awkward which was how Tim knew he had to be dreaming or drugged. Probably drugged. “Jordan, how good to see you, it’s been so long-”
“Can it Pops,” the being-named-Jordan scoffed, finger pointing towards the Demon’s Head. “Moms still pissed and isn’t coming back any time soon with you still pulling this shit.”
Tim felt his brain stall, process for a moment, then process some more over what he just heard before his mouth ran before it could catch up. “Ras is married???”
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Top Secret!!!!!
A Group Chat Involving Everyone but MC and Luke
Solomon: It's nearly time for me to give MC their preliminary exam. How many stars is MC up to?
Mammon: you serious, bro????
Mammon: you haven't kept track of mc's stars????
Mammon: old man alert
Satan: Four.
Solomon: Thank you, Satan. What other three virtues have been rewarded?
Diavolo: Gratitude from me.
Simeon: Patience from me and generosity from Luke.
Solomon: So, chastity, diligence, and humility remain. I was thinking of having us play Tail Thieves.
Asmo: I love you, Solomon, but no.
Solomon: What's wrong with Tail Thieves?
Asmo: One, it's a childish game.
Lucifer: ^
Asmo: Two, do you not remember how MC behaved the last time you tested them? They were BORED OUT OF THEIR MIND, and it impacted their performance as a result.
Beel: That's true.
Asmo: Any twists you come up with are going to be too predictable.
Solomon: *glaring crow sticker*
Solomon: I'm SURE you have a better idea.
Asmo: I do, actually.
Asmo: It involves testing their chastity.
Solomon: Go on...
Asmo: We'll seduce them.
Mammon: that's a stupid idea!!!!
Levi: youre just saying that because youre jealous
Belphie: *laughing emoji*
Beel: *gif of someone doing a spit-take*
Asmo: I'm being serious.
Asmo: During their last stay in the Devildom, I managed to charm them, which gained me access to their deepest desires.
Asmo: They have fantasies involving all of us. Tempting them with those will be the ultimate test of their chastity. If they're able to resist, then they earn the star.
Lucifer: That's actually a well thought-out idea.
Barbatos: ^
Diavolo: ^^
Solomon: *glaring crow sticker*
Solomon: Fine.
Solomon: Who's participating?
Levi: mammon and i are out
Mammon: speak for yourself!!!! the fuck???
Levi: if this is meant to really test mc then everyone has to commit to the bit and you and i both know that youd tap out the minute mc looks at you sideways
Mammon: *glaring crow sticker*
Levi: while ive gained some confidence i still wouldnt be able to maintain my composure long enough to complete something like this
Asmo: I will provide the necessary information, but I myself will not be seducing MC, as much as it pains me to say.
Satan: Of course it would pain you to say that.
Asmo: *eye roll emoji*
Solomon: Do you want to judge with me?
Asmo: I mean, I kinda figured we would, so...
Barbatos: My participation will depend on what I'm meant to reenact.
Asmo: Are you afraid it would conflict with your duties?
Barbatos: Yes.
Diavolo: Well, if you're worried about me stopping you, don't. It wouldn't be fair of me to expect you to sit this out if I'm planning on participating.
Mammon: WHAT??????
Levi: bro
Levi: he literally jumped out a castle window to be with mc
Levi: he's THIRSTY
Belphie: Unfortunately.
Asmo: Not to be the bossy brother, but Lucifer, you aren't allowed to back out.
Lucifer: Wasn't planning on it. I know where I stand in MC's mind.
Satan: You know, I think I might chill with Mammon and Levi. I thought about joining in the fun, but I don't think I have it in me to see things through.
Satan: And before anyone chimes in, no, it's not because Lucifer confirmed his participation.
Belphie: We know. If it was, you'd be trying to one-up him.
Satan: Thank you, Belphie. I TOTALLY wanted that out there. *eye roll emoji*
Beel: I'm in.
Belphie: Quick question: would it be fair of me to participate?
Asmo: Actually, you'd be PERFECT for this. You can argue that you know MC more intimately than ANY of us. You'd know what buttons to push to make them really sweat.
Belphie: Okay, cool. I'll do it, then.
Simeon: Me too.
Levi: lol what
Mammon: ayo, do you even KNOW how to seduce someone, simeon?
Simeon: How do you think I'm able to write some of the scenes in TSL?
Levi: well okay then
Solomon: So, to confirm: Lucifer, Beel, Belphie, Diavolo, and Simeon are definite participants, Barbatos is a maybe, and Mammon, Levi, and Satan are sitting this out?
Nine people liked Solomon's message.
Mammon: the three of us can keep an eye on luke. we can either help him run the cafe or take him out someplace fun.
Levi: you know you seem awfully chummy towards luke lately
Mammon: we bonded during our fairy hunt.
Asmo: Then that settles it. Solomon and I will meet with the volunteers for further discussion.
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Do u think homie will get upset if he dreamt that u cheated on him lmao I just imagine him being all grumpy and needy and you have no idea whats going on
...lmao.
Homelander's been all over you today, but it's different from his usual smothering, affectionate neediness. He's unbelievably grouchy. No matter how much attention you pay him, you can't seem to pull him out of this foul mood.
Finally, you ask him, "Okay, seriously, what's wrong?"
"Nothing," he says, which tells you it's of course not nothing. His arms are crossed as tightly as a drawn bow, and you've been listening to his teeth grinding all day.
You hum softly. "Is it work related?"
"No." His nostrils flare slightly as he realizes he's just admitted that there is something.
With a tiny curve to your lips, you nod. "Is it something I did?"
"Yes," he says sharply, though his arms loosen after a beat. "Well, no. But yes."
"Oohh, cryptic. I love a good mystery," you tease.
He's wholly unamused. "Don't laugh at me."
"Don't be so cute."
"No, no," he says, pointing at you. "Don't pull that on me. You cheated on me."
Your amused expression flips, immediately overtaken by your surprise. "Excuse me? I what?"
"Last night," he says, his words tight from his clenched jaw. "In... a dream."
You make the mistake of laughing anyways, and Homelander bristles. You quickly put a hand up. "Sorry, I'm sorry, I'm not laughing at you, I'm just relieved," you say, smoothing your hands down his arms.
"You're relieved that I'm having nightmares about you cheating on me?" He asks, aghast.
"I'm relieved that you don't think I actually cheated on you," you clarify. "But I am sorry that you had that dream. You know that's all it was, though, right?"
You watch him roll his tongue between his teeth. "Right."
"Okay, good," you coo, guiding him to the couch. "And you know I'd never do that, right?"
He sits, stiff at first, but as soon as he realizes you're easing him into your lap, he practically flops his head down on your thighs, staring up at you with a petulant purse to his lips. "Right."
"Good," you say again, stroking your fingers through his hair. "Because I love you very much, and it would break my heart to hurt you like that. Right?"
Begrudgingly, the tilt of his lips curves up into a small smile. "Mmhm."
"Right?" You push, scraping your nails along his scalp.
He sighs, the tension from his shoulders melting. "Right."
"Good," you say a final time, bending down to press a kiss to his forehead. His eyes fall shut, simply enjoying the caress of your fingers along his scalp, his forehead, and behind his ears, despite the occasional bout of ticklishness.
After a time, you idly ask, "So... Who'd I cheat on you with?"
His eyes snap open, brows furrowing. "What?"
"Who'd I sleep with? I mean... they must have been gorgeous to pull me away from-" You cut yourself short, letting go a peal of laughter when he abruptly sits up.
Knowing what's coming, you take off running.
"C'mere!" He growls, narrowly missing catching your wrist as you flee from him, but you know you won't be able to outpace him for long. You half scream, half laugh as he snatches you around the waist and hauls you up into the air, both arms wrapped around you middle. "Alright, it's happening."
"No! Please! Have mercy! I have children!" You scream, kicking frantically through the air.
"What? No you don't," he says, walking you to the bedroom.
You continue to thrash. "My future children!"
With that, he tosses you onto the bed with ridiculous ease. You bounce twice before settling. You try to scramble off of it, but he swiftly pins you down.
"No!" You cry out, already laughing in anticipation. "Mercy! Mercy!"
Homelander shows you no mercy. He tickles you until you cry, and then dutifully kisses the salty streaks away.
Ultimately, you suppose it's a fitting punishment for your infidelity.
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