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#so maybe that way you can understand better what I'm trying to say
frociaggine · 2 days
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Good morning,
my sister and I as queerish catholicish people* have been fascinated with the the new pope drama.
Anyways we were wondering about context.
When the pope was asking the vatican to "tone down the faggotry" was he
Deliberatly condemning homosexuls in the vatican?
Asking vatican employees to stop gay sex while at work.
Asking vatican employees to stop behaving in a stereotypically gay way at work?
Asking vatican employees to stop being so extra? This is pope Francis after all. He's not really a big luxury guy.....and maybe he finds the drag race aesthetic to be at odds with votes of poverty. (The documentary "Paris is burning" might correct that misunderstanding...but I can see how a general apeal to tone down extragance combined with a new slang phrase in his second language could cause this.
I do understand that whatever the context for the quote was, pope Francis used the wrong term.
But Im really curious what he was trying to accomplish.
Also how do I pronounce your new Url as I relay this information to my family?
*I am a practicing queer raised catholic and she a practicing catholic at a queer independent catholic** church
**yes its existence shocked me to, but they have like 18 members and a local epicable let's them met in thier space in off hours. And they take nor give any money to the vactican and sing the old mass.
Ok your sister's queer independent catholic church sounds honestly cool af. Hope they're having fun in there.
Context: the Pope was telling (Italian) bishops that the Church should discourage gay men from joining, and "there's too much homosexuality (faggotry) in seminaries already." We don't know the context as this was leaked, but if I HAD to make a guess I would say_ 1) This is undoubtedly a homophobic statement 2) this is coming from a guy who feels strongly that clergy should respect their votes of chastity, which a lot of priests straight-up ignore.
So, like. Francis HAS gone on record saying that gay men are likely to falter in their vocations or whatever. But if I had to speculate, and I don't believe I'm being overly charitable here, I think the point of his speech was, "By the way, priests should not fuck, remember that? And maybe men who are into men are more likely to fuck their colleagues and keep quiet about it, we all know it happens way too much."
But yeah tldr: he WAS "deliberately condemning homosexuals" in a "gay people are more likely than straight people to give in to the temptations of the flesh" kinda way. Which IS homophobic but not outrageously so, and I think very much in line with his overall line re: queer people in the Church, kind of when he said "Blessings to same-sex couples are fine! It's not the same thing as a real marriage tho."
I think it was a remark that wouldn't have raised any eyebrows among its intended audience if he hadn't used that word, which gave people who don't like him a lot of ammo to discredit him and motivation to leak the story. That's also why I think there's no way he was aware of the full implications of the word — would this pope say slurs in private? idk. maybe. I don't know him. Would he say slurs in front of an audience of bishops when half the Vatican can't stand him because they think he's a dangerous third-world outsider and a hardass? No fucking way.
At least that's my take. I'm gonna @monstrousgourmandizingcats who may have better insight.
this is how you pronounce it!
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sukunas-wife · 13 hours
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Hehehe rising at 12:57 in the morning for my day of birth 🥺🤍🤍
In commemoration of my birthday, I offer Birthday Sukuna (Student edition) 🥺 I love Big Daddy Ryomen, he loves his wife so much even though she has no find details 💀 (Yet- maybe) they give me Kushina/Minato when Naruto had his Madara induced dream
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In all things, the Sukuna family wasn't to extravagantly celebrate holidays. “Special days” such as Christmas, Halloween, Valentines, White Day, and those other seasonal festivities would be recognized, however Ryomen Senior and Junior would usually brush it off, leaving it to their wife and mother to make arrangements.
Akira Sukuna, was a woman who came from a family who loved to celebrate the holidays. Seeing it as a way for the family to come together and tighten loose bonds. Birthdays and Anniversaries in specific were her priority. A sentiment her husband had shared from the beginning. If there was a special day, it would be his wife’s birthday, or his son's birthday. Followed very closely by his wedding anniversary.
Now here she stood yelling at her son, “WHAT DO YOU MEAN Y/N’S BIRTHDAY IS THIS WEEK AND YOU DON'T HAVE A GIFT OR ANYTHING PLANNED OUT!? WHAT DID YOU DO FOR HER LAST BIRTHDAY!? DON'T TRY TO SPEAK OVER ME YOU PROBABLY DIDN'T DO ANYTHING THEN EITHER! RYOMEN SUKUNA JUNIOR, I MAY HAVE BROUGHT YOU INTO THIS WORLD BUT I WILL NOT HESITATE TO TAKE YOU OUT OF IT YOU KNOW HOW IMPORTANT BIRTHDAYS ARE I SHOULD- OH- MMM, YOU- RYOMEN GET YOUR SON.” She was livid, and pacing around in front of the table where she had sat her son after he nonchalantly mentioned your birthday would be during the week. Then proceeded to say “Oh I don’t have anything.” After his mother asked what he was going to do to celebrate.
Sukuna turned to look at his father who was attempting to avoid the scene, “Ryomen,” he cleared his throat unable to think of the proper words, “You should understand by now how important days like these are. They come around once a year. Holidays will continue with or without us, birthdays can only be celebrated with that person. You don’t celebrate the birthday of a dead person or a person who is no longer in your life, we celebrate the living because they’re alive and with us in these moments. Our time here is limited and that’s what makes it special, that’s what makes spending time with your loved ones special.” He looked at his wife for approval, she had a soft smile, “Aww my Ryomen.” She raised her arms bringing her husband into a hug, a hand on his face bringing him down to kiss him.
Sukuna cringed at the sight, and scoffed when he saw his dad wink at him. Of course his dad would know how to play his moms game and get away with it.
“Now,” his mom tuned to him with a smile, break into your saving and go find something nice.” Sukuna hesitated in getting up, waiting as if there was something more to be said, and there was. “AND I'M JUDGING EVERYTHING YOU DO AND BRING SO YOU BETTER BE READY TO EXPLAIN AND DEFEND YOURSELF WHEN YOU GET BACK RYOMEN.”
He was quick to evacuate hearing his dad laugh, “That’s my girl.” He heard the mumbles of his parents as he ran to his room and out the house, “Find something nice…” he scoffed to himself, “I’ll find something better than nice, I’ll find something amazing you’re gonna be jealous.” He was mouthing off, shaking his head while looking at the cards in his wallet. He had one escape plan if something was out of his limit, which would be hard considering his father never turned off his weekly allowance from all those years ago. He let out a smug laugh before he was officially ready to go.
—- —- —- —- —-
“So what’s the difference between this and that?” Sukuna was squinting displeased at the poor lady behind the counter. She looked around, frantically begging silently for her superior to hurry with his lunch. “Well, this is 2.8 carrots for 775,939.73 yen…” she motioned to the bracelet on the velvet display in front of him.
She hesitated to turn around in fear he’d pocket the bracelet and run off. But his stare had her more fearful of offending him by moving the bracelet away. “I-I’m sorry sir, would you please tell me what you're asking about when you refer to ‘that’.” He gestured to a necklace sitting on a high shelf over a velvet stand, “That necklace up there.” She slowly turned her head, shaky hand resting on the glass case ready to snatch up the bracelet at any sudden movements. Sukuna was occupied tapping away at his phone doing maths to justify his spending.
“S-sir,” the jeweller carefully placed the velvet stand in front of him on the glass case. She watched as Sukuna put his phone away, hand coming up and taking the centre diamond between his curled pointer finger and thumb. He lifted it higher to get a closer look at it, uncurling his hand to let the strand of diamonds run over his fingers. “This is seven carrots in total weight and it goes for 1,901,013.11 yen. It’s called a graduated diamond necklace. The diamonds graduate in size as they near the centre. Many couples or parents for their children like to start off with a hand full of diamonds usually 5-7, odd numbers so the centre stone usually remains the largest and add on more as they achieve accompaniments in life such as graduation, engagement, marriage, job promotions, pregnancies, anniversaries or birthdays.” The sales woman smiled at him, missing his eye twitch, “birthdays…” was all she heard him say before he took a deep breath and sighed, “This may be improbable but will you take a full single payment.” The lady blinked, “I..I’m.. Yes?”
—- —- —- —- —-
“Hey! I just called! You didn’t answer so I thought you were busy and weren’t gonna call back.” Your voice on the phone had Sukuna’s lips shifting into a faint cross of a smile and a smirk.
“I know, I watched the phone ring.” His grin grew when you scoffed “How rude. This is why you're not in the running for Boyfriend of the year and my plushie is.” His grin didn’t falter, “Yeah yeah, see if that little shit buys you your McDonalds happy meal when you want to collect their stupid little toys.” He heard your hushed devious laugh and rose a brow, “why-WHAT ARE YOU DOING RIGHT NOW?” You spoke over him, and his eye twitched, “I’m out, running errands foorrr… running errands.” “Awwww you’re such a good boy running errands for your mommy huh?” He rolled his eyes at your tone, “Yeah sure.” He started to turn on his car, “WAIT” his eyes snapped to his phone, “Ryo, wait wait wait. Hold on, don’t do anything.” He started looking around, there wasn’t a chance in hell you were telling him to wait and not do anything just by chance. He saw you, running up the sidewalk and around his car to the passenger side and jumping in, your phones echoing until you ended the call. He looked at you, mouth slightly open and brows furrowed, “Hi.” You smiled at him, “y/n…” he sighed, “What were you doing running down the sidewalk.”
“Oh, well, I had to um, I was doing a thing where I was going to go and-“ he cut you off with an unimpressed look, “You were going to McDonalds for that hello kitt-Sanrio collection!” You cut him off with a grin leaning forward and smacking the dashboard, “C'mon let’s go! The fries are only getting colder.” He sighed, “Fine but first, get away from the dashboard.” His arm pushing you back against the seat as he reached over to grab your seat belt was something you’d never fight against, instead you always took the opportunity to grab his face and kiss his cheek.
“So what are you doing here at,” you looked out the window, “Woah, that’s the fancy jewellery store.” He shrugged, “Picking up a gift.” He was nonchalant and you awed, “Aww your dad is so sweet to your mom, he loves his wife so much.” He shook his head with a faint smile, side eyeing how your expression, how your eyes lingered on the shop with a soft smile. “Alright, let’s go.”
—- —- —- —- —-
“Cmmoonn Ryyooooo.” You whine sitting beside him. He was still sucking from his straw, side eyes you and he tilted his head to the side. You took it as a yes and started to raise your hand and he pulled his head back, “No.” you huffed, “You’re just jealous I’m prettier.” He rolled his eyes watching as you threw your Kuromi comb back onto the booth's table and picked up the sliding Little Twin Stars mirror, opening it to look at yourself and nodding your head. He laughed and put his empty cup down. You looked at his empty cup as he flicked the fries on the wrapper around before eating one. You picked up your cup and took a sip holding it in your hand as if your were offering it, he took and started to sip on what was left of your drink and you angled the mirror to look at him. He let the straw go to make a face at you through the mirror. Snapping your head to him, “Why did you drink my sprite?” He looked confused, “You gave it to m-why did you drink my sprite I was just holding it here and you took-.” You closed your mouth when he pressed some fries to your lip and you shook your head, “Why did you drink-“ he held the fries out to you and you smiled trying to pull away and he did it again, finally you took a bite of the fries and he snapped back at you “why did you eat my fries?” You looked away smiling half covering your face with your spread open hand, “I can't stand you.” You missed his grin, “It’s a good thing you’re sitting down then.” You both sat back against the booth, watching the orange even slowly turn pink. The people passing, the ones on bikes, the kids running by looking like they were avoiding someone they had caused trouble for. You smiled propping your face on the palm of your hand, staring off into the skyline watching the birds pass over. “What do you think tomorrow will be like?” He eyed you, following your stare into the city building skyline. “Hopefully quiet, I wanted to sleep in but I ended up getting in trouble this morning and sent out.” You hummed, “heh, your mom reminds me of Naruto’s mom, don’t tell me your dad I’d like Minato too.” Sukuna went blank, doing his best to remember what you were talking about. There was a small twitch in his lips, “It’s close.”
You smiled huffing through your nose, “Oh wanna go with me to pick up a dress? I was supposed to earlier but ya know.” You picked up the little hello kitty case and shook it around, “I got distracted.” He smirked down at you, “Got distracted or just wanted a ride?” Your sheepish grin gave it away, “Alright, let’s clean up and go.”
—- —- —- —- —-
“You’ve been out all day, what did you get?” Sukuna’s mother was quick to stop him at the entrance, “You don’t have anything big so I’m hoping you have plans?” Her eye twitched the same way he had earlier under the stress.
“I do.” She smiled pulling him in, great WE” she yelled back over her shoulder, “want to hear all about it.”
Sukuna heard his dad groan, “Oh- I mean ofcourse we do.”
That’s how he ended up sat across from them, all of them in silence after he explained his gift choice… “Well.. congratulations on your engagement sweetie.” Sukuna and his father looked at their respective wife and mom, “I’m sorry, dove, what did you say?”
“It's graduation. diamond. necklace. Ryomen, that’s a lifelong commitment. Y/n isn’t his daughter so he would be stupid if he’s going to give this gift away and he doesn’t plan on having a future with her. But, that’s not my little Ryomen. No, he’s smarter than that, so I’m congratulating him on his pre engagement statement.” She looked away sipping from her cup of tea that had long ago gone cold. Her husband was looking at her and she placed her cup down, “Don’t argue with me about this, he came in here and said it’s for LIFE ACHIEVEMENTS, then said graduations, Engagements, marriages, pregnancies and anniversaries- does that not sounds like the process of what their lives could pass through???” Her husband paused to think about it, she was making sense, Sukuna was looking between the both of them, “I also bought a dress…” His mom smiled fondly, “Oh that’s sweet, what colour is it?” “…White..” his mom laughed softly, not at his choices but how in her head it sounds like a marriage was taking place, replace the necklace with a ring and she’d be telling him goodbye next week.
“Well, as long as you put thought into it I’m happy and I know y/n will love it.” His mothers soft eyes and smile matched her tone and he nodded. “I hope so, she basically chose it out and left it because she said she couldn’t ever buy something that fancy without a special occasion.” He scrolled through his phone to find the video of you trying on the dress, his mom saw the look on your face, how your eyes lit up when you turned to the mirror, the smile on your face and how your head snapped to him and ‘you’re taking a picture?’ You smiled with closed eyes holding up a peace sign and, ‘Heh, that’s the best you got?’ He questioned you and you pouted, ‘How do you like it?’ The sales woman who finished laying out the dress asked you, “It’s really pretty! I love the sleeves! It’s a little simple but it would look amazing in pictures.’ Your excitement shined through, ‘It’s our first event dress created, I’m so glad you love it, it’s only 152,100.05 yen. We can alter sizes and length upon request if you’d like, but in my opinion I think the length is perfect here, but in the back we could add a small clasp to hold it in just a bit more snug.’ Your blank smile was enough for Sukuna to cut off the video and go to your rescue.
“Sweetie.” His mom smiled at him, but he was smiling like a fool at his phone, the silly look of your blank smile made him laugh, “Ryomen.” He looked up at his mom, “That’s an event gown…” he blinked and nodded, “I heard her say it was an event gown.” His brows furrowed, “A WEDDING, event gown.” His mom stressed the word, “I would know, I was there and I saw the dress when they first brought it in store a week ago for their wedding debut.”
“Biology wants what it wants.”
—- —- —- —- —-
‘Are you going to class in the morning?’ You squinted at Sukuna’s message, it was almost midnight when you had woken up to his message. ‘No, I’m gonna sleep in late. I don't wanna go in tomorrow.’ You watched the screen of your phone when the chat bubble popped up. ‘FINE THEN, didn’t wanna see your face in the morning anyway 😒’ you smiled and laughed lightly at his message. Head nodding as you yawned, blurry vision as you got ready to nod off again.
‘Still awake?’ You blinked slowly at the message, typing your answer and accidentally hitting answer when a call came in.
‘Hey’ Sukuna’s voice on the phone was comforting, ‘hey.’ You were cut off by a yawn. ‘Y/n.. I need to tell you something.’ Yawning again you tried to answer, ‘yeah?’
‘I…’ the line went quiet for a second ‘Happy Birthday y/n…’ silence, you smiled, ‘Thanks Ryo.’ The smile was evident in your voice as you yawned again. Silence took over the line, you laid their comfortably to the thought of Sukuna being the first to wish you happy birthday. ‘Y/n?’ You hummed, ‘Ryomen.’ He let out what sounded like a smug scoff. “I love you…’
You grinned like a mad man, “I love you Ryomen.” You could hear the smile in his voice when he finally spoke up again, ‘Get some rest I’ll see you tomorrow then.’ You hummed with a smile, ‘yeeaah, I’ll see you tomorrow Kuna’m.’
—- —- —- —- —-
Waking up at 5 in the morning wasn’t ideal on your birthday, yet here you were, in a haze staring at your window that was being tapped on. The brief wave of panic had you shooting up until you heard the voice of your cursed lover. Sighing you opened the window and he quietly made his way in.
You yawned trying to ask him why he was here and he just brushed you off kicking off his shoes and taking off his sweater showing the long sleeve shirt that hugged his frame. He pulled down his sweat pants and you were going to look away until he mumbled “Calm down I’m wearing pants.” You looked back to see he was in fact wearing a thinner set of joggers, before he threw himself onto your bed throwing the blanket back. You looked at him as he looked at you, “You coming or not?” You weren’t sure what to say, as another yawn racked through your lungs and chest, “Yeah let me just.” You turned and locked your room door playing a risky game of getting caught with your boyfriend in your bed or getting yelled at for having a locked door. Either way, you’d take a scolding for a locked door any day. Yawning as you made your way to your bed, Sukuna rolled his eyes when he saw how much space you left. With one arm he hauled you over into his chest using the other to pull the blanket up over your shoulder. You settled on his chest as he held you tight, “Happy Birthday brat.” You smiled and hummed, a quiet “yaaay”, left you as you fell asleep on his chest to the faint scent of his cologne comforting you.
—- —- —- —- —-
It wasn’t until you woke up that you realised you had drooled over Sukuna’s chest. You looked up at him and he had an arm thrown over his eyes, the other wrapped around you loosely. His chest was rising and falling slowly as you started to sit up. You sat up and smiled down at him. When his hand slipped from your side he started to wake up groaning. “What time is it?” He was drowsy based on his squinty eyes that kept closing slowly and he’d force them open again. You grabbed your phone from the nightstand, “It’s 10:56.” He hummed and let his head fall back into your pillow. You sat there just staring at him and he was staring off at the roof.
“I’m hungry..” he looked at the glow in the dark stars on your ceiling before answering you, “Where do you wanna go?” He turned to you to see your cheesy grin before he popped your thigh with his hand, “It’s your birthday we’re not going to McDonald’s.” You huffed, pulling his hand into yours, spreading his fingers out and popping his joints, “How about one of those fancy kfc lunches?” He laughed, flexing his hand before intertwining his hand with your own, “I’ll take you somewhere I know that little brain of yours will be entertained entirely.” You would’ve squinted at his little Brian comment but let it slide, “alright, I’ll get dressed then and we can go. He rolled over to face you, you were sitting facing his chest before he propped his head up on an arm, “The place doesn't open til four, we have about 6 hours to burn if there’s something you wanna do.” You sighed, “I don’t know, I’m just hungry.” He huffed, flaring his dramatics, “Fine, get ready I’ll take you somewhere you can eat BEFORE we go eat.” He watched as you jumped up running over to your closet pulling out whatever it was before rushing out your room. He made quick work of getting out of your bed and running to your window to pull his bag in. It was a duffle bag that had your presents, his clothes and a few extra things.
By the time you came back he was dressed and stretched out over your bed that he tried to straighten up. “Took long enough.”
—- —- —- —- —-
You were indulgent in the little treats Sukuna kept paying for. By now you had one to many mini bags and Sukuna was carrying a few more. Each one was filled with chocolates and sweets you had picked up from every shop he had taken you to. Biting into a chewy fudge you were content with how it was sweet but not overwhelming, it was smooth and didn’t taste strongly or bitter. Turning to Sukuna with a smile you held the piece up to his lips, any other day he’d resist and make you work for it but he was curious and immediately inhaled your sweet making you laugh. The both of you sat in silence sharing sweets and opinions on what could be better. You mostly listened to Sukuna as he critiqued harsher things.
“Now what?” You asked as he chewed on another piece you pushed to his lips. He shrugged, “Is there anything you wanted to do?” You hummed looking around, and down at your shoes. They were your worn down sneakers, you’d wear when you’d often go out with Sukuna because they were more comfortable than those stiff loafers you’d use for uniform. You kicked your feet, “I wanna go buy new shoes, pretty soon I’ll have to retire these.” He looked at your shoes, “Yeah, didn’t wanna say anything but they look like they’re begging for a break.” You smacked his shoulder and he grinned at you catching your hand squeezing it, “truth hurts sweetheart.”
“Alright, let’s go then, take my bags.” You handed him the rest of the small bags that held chocolates neither of you liked. He rolled his eyes taking them from you and following you God knows where.
That’s how you ended up here, trying on shoes with Sukuna watching intently. You made the mistake of asking his opinion and he had taken his role seriously. “No, you’re not a show girl y/n you’re not going to wear six inch heels anywhere. You’ll break your ankle anyway, look.” His open hand motioned to your wobbly walk. “You just hate me cause I’m pretty Ryo.” He let out a single laugh, “Try these instead.” You sat across the aisle from him holding up your foot to him, “Change it for me?” If you were anyone else he would’ve thrown the box of shoes at you. But alas, there he was with a soft smile a scoff, untying your heel and putting your sock back on he placed the new shoe on your foot. They were simple converse but you were gleaming because he put it on and even tied it for you. “Perfect.” You wiggled your foot at him and he grabbed your foot by the sole of the shoe pulling the shoe off, “Great, we’ve been here so long I think we can go eat now.” You hummed lifting your other foot for him to take the heel off and put your sock on. He watched as you huffed trying to slip your old shoes on. “What about all the bags?” “We can take them back to your home and I’ll give you your birthday present.” He saw how your eyes lit up, “How about now?”
The way you exaggerated batting your eyelashes had a small smile tugging at his lips, “I left it at your house so you wouldn’t bother me all day, let’s go pay and then when we get there you can open it. I won’t fight you about it because you have to use it today or I’ll take it back.” You were smiling like a love struck fool when he offered his hand. You took it, letting him help you up before hugging his arm resting your head on his shoulder, “I love you.” He looked down at you from an angle, “mhm.”
—- —- —- —- —-
“No… Sukuna..” you held the dress to your chest looking at him with a sympathetic smile, before holding the dress up and smiling at it before hugging it to your chest again looking at Sukuna, “you didn’t have too Ryo, I love it so much, but it was so expensive I can’t, awww but it’s so pretty Ryyoooo.” You whined doing a little stompy dance squeezing your dress to your chest before throwing it in your bed beside Sukuna. He reached over to pick it up until you were between his legs squeezing him in a hug, his head pressed against your chest with wide eyes. He couldn’t get used to the displays of affection, still he let his hands hover over you until he hugged your waist letting you press your cheek to the top of his head and squeeze him harder, “I lied you are in the running for best boyfriend of the year.” You didn’t see the way he smiled but you felt the way he laughed when he pulled away shaking his head, “Where’s that damn plushie anyway.” You pulled him back into your chest fearing for your plushies life, “Uh, no where.” He squeezed your waist in his hud before he tried to push you back so he could stand. “Get dressed, I need to get ready.” You finally let him go and he turned to give your dress a Quick Look before grabbing his bag and heading out to the bathroom.
It took half an hour for you to get ready and you were still in a Fritz about shoes and how you were supposed to close your zipper. Finally you gave up sitting down on your bed huffing. The knock on your door pulled you out of your despair, “help me..” your plea had Sukuna dropping his bag and walking over to you with a focused face as he motioned you to stand. You did and face your open closet door, the body mirror there showed your reflection and how elegant the dress made you look. You smiled at yourself watching as Sukuna looked like he was struggling, “Step forward.” Was all he said as he finally stood behind you and zipped up your dress, you were smiling bright at your reflection, watching how it looked like he was pulling at something. “Is something wrong?” He looked up at you through the mirror, “Yeah something is missing.” His furrowed brows looked concerned through the mirror and you gave him a worried look, “Put your hands down I’ll fix it.” You kept your arms to your side hearing him rustle something around before he looked up bringing his arms around your shoulder over chest. He pressed his hands together before pulling them apart slowly showing you the reflection of the necklace he had bought. Your jaw dropped before you started choking, “RYOMEN.” You tried to step back only to bump into his chest as he laughed, stepping back to clip the necklace onto you, “What.” “NO RYO you didn’t have to, please, I’m gonna cry.” His smile was priceless, he looked so soft staring at you through the mirror. The edges of his lips were pulled up into soft smiles, his eyes were full of sentiment. “I think it fits well y/n.” You felt heat race to your face as you forced your eyes closed cupping your hands over your face. You turned to face him, hugging him and burying your face in his chest to hide your face, “rryyooo.” Your muffled whine was ignored when he laughed lightly patting you back with his hand, “if you really don’t want it I’ll take it-NO IT'S MINE.” The way you turned your head to the side with a sheepish pout led him to sigh, smiling down at you, “you’re a mess y/n.”
—- —- —- —- —-
“Ooou, well aren’t you just fancy.” You shook your head side to side taunting him. “No, I just don’t spend all my money at McDonald’s for toys.” He flicked your forehead making you squirt him and make a face. “So… what is this exactly?”
“Just trust me you’ll like it alright, my parents are here also or else we wouldn’t get a private room so you can have fun with that also.” You both stopped when the hostess stopped in front of a Shoji door, “This is the room reserved for Ryomen Sukuna and company. Company has already arrived.” She slid the door open and there you saw Mr and Mrs Sukuna. Your bright smile was genuine as you greeted them, being wished happy birthday and squeezed into a tight hug by his mother. She held at arm's length, “Oh you look beautiful! This is beautiful. Where did you get it? You look very nice y/n.” Her eyes fell on her son, she looked him up and down, “I see you took a lesson from your father.” Her husband choked in the background looking at his son. Black dress shirt, black dress pants, shiny dress shoes and a black tie. “I don’t see anything wrong with it…” his mumble had her casting him a side glance, “There are other colours other than black husband.” He grinned, “Says the woman wearing black.” You smiled before she turned back to you rolling her eyes, “men.” Your laugh had her refocusing on you, “assuming Sukuna was with you all day after I got a call saying he was in fact not in school, how was your day?” She was smiling, nodding along as you went about telling her of the chocolates you tried, she was surprised Sukuna ate any considering he didn’t like chocolate all that much. Even more surprised when you told her you spent over an hour shoe shopping before he finally found you a decent pair. The two of you kept talking until she asked what he had gotten you as a gift. She was how you perked up jumping out of your chair to show her your dress in its full glory, “He bought me this dress, I really loved it when we saw it in a store, but I couldn’t get it because of how pricey it was. I almost started crying and telling him to take it back.” His mother admired your enthusiasm and sheepish smile, “Well, it looks amazing y/n. A beautiful dress for a beautiful girl.” You blushed with a sheepish smile. “Thank you he also got me this actually, you asked earlier but I didn’t get the chance to answer.” She watched as your hand touched the necklace. Your expression changed to a soft smile as you looked down, “I kept telling him he didn’t have too, I actually started crying.” She looked at her son, he was staring at you with a goofy smile until his dad elbowed him talking about something he didn’t have a clue of.
She smiled, “You’re a very lucky girl Y/n, but I can say that Ryomen is even luckier to have found someone like you.”
You all turned to the door when there was a tap. A chef rolled in with a cart, “It’s a special day, so we’re going to make it extra special!” Sukuna’s mom left you to sit by her husband leaving room for Sukuna to sit with you, “You’re going to love this.” You smiled at him, he was staring at you with a small smile. You reached over under the table taking his hand and bringing it to your lap squeezing it in both of yours. “Thank you for everything Ryomen, I love you.” It wasn't until your hand came up to bring his face closer and you kissed his jaw he reacted. His father laughed at his son's wide eyes and reddening face. The Chef laughed, drawing a heart with oil on the flat grill, “ah, young love,” he lit the oil causing a burst of flames leaving you in awe, squeezing and shaking Sukuna’s hand. He missed the entire show but was content with taking in your reactions.
It was true and he hadn’t realised it, he was in love with you and he couldn’t deny it.
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(On a side note, I went to early birthday lunch and I dressed up and a lady literally got a glimpse of me and snapped her head around and screamed across the room “OH MY GOD YOURE BEAUTIFUL!” And i felt so loved 🥰🥰 also go you wanna leave me a gift 🥹 here’s my PayPal (my cash app didn’t wanna link) but it’s not obligatory or anything, I’ll probably take them down later because it makes me feel funny. Someone sent me a dollar and I love that virtual dollar sm it makes me smile lol)
Tag: @sakuxxi @mercymccann @certainduckanchor @najiiix @bakugou-katsukis-wife @amitiel-truth @souyasplushie @mylovelessnightmare @ynjimenez @princessluvz @furiousblacktiger @anyaswlrd @shytastemakerthing @alialucille
@sad-darksoul @satorisgirl @bontensbabygirl @lupita97lm @queen-luna-007 @venus-seeks
@bofadeezs @shytastemakerthing
🤍🥳
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satorusugurugurl · 14 hours
Text
I Think He Knows: (Chapter Four)
Summary: When your novel takes off and becomes a best seller, doors of opportunities open for you. You can work on the series you have dreamed about all your life. And you’re also given the chance to stay in a tiny cottage in Europe for two years to help with inspiration! Your best friend, Geto Suguru, shatters at the news. How could he tell you how he feels when you leave him? His opportunity appears right before him when you confess that your editor thinks a change of scenery will help with your not-so-steamy romance scenes. They’re lacking a particular spice because you’re a virgin. So, Suguru does what any best friend would do. He offers to teach you how things work. Will you cross that line as friends? Or will you both say goodbye?
Pairing: Geto Suguru x FAB!Reader
Word Count: 4,954
Warning: Language, fingering, hand-job, kissing, heavy description of genitals.
A/N: Here’s the update!! I'm sorry its so late. My wrist feels a lot better today!! 😘💚💚 thank you for your patience!!
Part One Part Two Part Three
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You were glaring at your computer screen; the words struggled to come to you. Nanami was pleased with the changes you had made to your latest chapters; he said the kiss scenes were much more realistic, all thanks to your best friend, but as much as he liked it, it still didn't change the fact that your smutty mutual masturbation scene sucked balls.
“It’s getting there.” He glanced back at the words. “You’ve moved on from using meat stick to penis—while is anatomically correct, it’s not quite rousing. Perhaps try using the words shaft, dick, maybe cock.”
“Kento!”
“I’m being serious, how many erotic novels have you read where the writer uses ‘she grasped his penis in her hand’ no ‘she grabbed his cock’.”
“Right—”
“Then there’s the climax.” Nanami sighed, flipping through the pages. “Be honest with me; have you ever seen a man have an orgasm? It’s not like a fire hose in hentai—” A judgmental look was shot in your direction, which was well deserved. “It’s more like spurts.”
“Ugh, seriously?”
“Yes, and Oaklynn’s orgasm, you just described her facial reactions and breathing. Get into the pulsing or contractions she feels. Hell, make her squirt. Ilsan is a knight; he's been to brothels so the man would know how to please a woman.”
“Squirt—?”
The way Nanami deadpanned at you before running a hand down his face told you he had figured it out. He must have finally put the deli meat sex scenes, terribly written orgasms, and your lack of knowledge of female orgasms. You slowly sank lower into the booth with a flushed face.
“You’re a virgin.”
“You’re a virgin~” You mocked, sticking up your nose as the nightmares and flashbacks of your luncheon came to an end. Nanami’s suggestion to watch porn gives it a better understanding of how orgasms work. There was no way in hell you were doing that. “I don't need to have sex to know how to write a good sex scene!”
That statement was true, and having some experience would benefit you. It had kissing scenes. And it most definitely would help you with the grinding scene in the alley you were adding in. Suguru made things comfortable for you; he wasn’t pushy or manipulative. He was so gentle and kind, making sure you felt okay. You were so grateful for him, but after you started feeling weird last night and told him to stop, maybe he didn't want to keep doing stuff with you.
If you were honest with him, maybe he'd understand. But it wasn't very comfortable. It felt so intense, and you were all tingly.
Once you finished your rewrites, you would have to sit down and talk to him. You just hoped he didn’t think you were avoiding him after what happened. The sooner you finish, the sooner you can talk to him, get things back to normal, and maybe ask him to help you more. His lessons truly were helping you.
If only we weren’t having such a hard time with the stupid scene!
“Come on, just type it, dick, just type out the letters. DICK.” Your fingers hovered over your keyboard, your eyes narrowing at the screen. “It’s just a word!”
Before your fingers could even touch the ‘D,’ a fist pounded against your door. At first, you were startled; your heart lurched into your throat as your hand rested against your chest. The fist slammed against the door once again. If someone knocked at your door at 2:30 in the morning, it wasn’t a good sign. You were about to grab your phone to call Suguru when you heard his voice at the door.
“Answer, answer god, please.”
He repeated the exact words as you shove your lap desk off to the side before jumping up for the door. You open the door just as Suguru pulls his fist back to knock again. His face was pale, and his dark bangs clung to his forehead with sweat. The dark circles under his eyes were the evidence of the nightmares that he had been having and the lack of sleep.
Regardless of his appearance, your eyes still frantically searched him up and down. You were trying to find evidence of injuries or something that told you what was wrong. You could find no traces of anything other than his insomnia. He was in a white T-shirt and baggy gray sweats and stood there silently. Look of relief washing over your face. He just stood there. A look of relief washed over his face at the sight of you.
“Suguru? What’s wrong? What happened?” He doesn’t answer your frantic questions; instead, he grabs you, pushing his way inside your apartment and kicking the door shut. “Suguru?!”
You yelp as you both fall to the floor, his arms wrapped firmly around you as he holds you flush against his chest; your best friend is shaking, his breath heavy as he clings to you as if you would vanish if he let go. Seeing him in such a state made you sick to your stomach. He didn’t deserve to be plagued with the pain of what happened years ago. You knew he blamed himself for what happened with Riko. You wish you could take the pain away from him.
While that was impossible, you could be there for him when he needed you the most. So you wrapped your arms around him and squeezed, hugging him as tight as possible. “Thought I lost you.” He whispered, his hands clinging onto your tank top.
“Suguru—” you whisper, hands gently caressing his back. “You’re not going to lose me.” You feel him relax against you, shaking softly as he pulls back an inch. “Nightmares again?” His dark strands of hair cover his eyes, but he nods. “Sugu, oh sweetie—do you wanna stay the night with me?”
Your words seem to hit him like a freight train. The panic and fear in his eyes turned into relief. His muscles relax as he exhales through his nose. You reach up and caress his cheek, letting him know you are there, and he leans into your touch, nuzzling his cheek into your palm.
“Yeah, can I please?”
“Of course you can.” You lock the door before grabbing Suguru’s wrist and pulling Jim into your bedroom. “You can go to sleep. I need to finish editing this page before I lay down.”
As you sit back down, placing your lap desk in front of you, Suguru takes a moment to look around your bed. There are tiny Post-it notes and looseleaf paper spread out over your comforter, along with the mini spiral notebook you had in your purse. He had teased about it initially, but he realized that you need to jot down your ideas when inspiration hits you. So your stocking was full of the little mini notebooks you loved to carry.
Seeing that blissful smile tugged at your lips, in the warmth of the flush in your cheeks, made Suguru float with happiness. That joy that was brought on by notebooks was something he would never forget. He wanted to make you happy for the rest of your life. Not just with notebooks but a life you both could build together in a romantic relationship. Suguru wanted to give you the world on a silver platter because you deserved it and much more.
“Oh fuck, sorry, Sugu.” Small hands quickly removed the notes and the papers covering the other side of your bed. “Just transcribing and everything.” You motioned for him to lie down, patting gently on the mattress.
Suguru crawled into bed with you, covering himself with the sheet, before snuggling his head against one of your pillows. The smell of your favorite shampoo and conditioner had his nerves relaxing as he watched you glare at the screen. From the way your nose was turned up, you were deep in thought. His curiosity got the better of him, and he learned in closer, his eyes roaming over the screen.
‘Oaklynn’s face scrunched up in pure pleasure as her orgasm hit her. Her breathing was heavy, and Ilsan growled in her ear, pumping his fingers in and out of her vagina.’
Vagina?
‘That’s it~ such pretty sounds—nngh!’ Ilsan’s voice cracked as Oaklynn’s soft hand squeezed his penis, twisting her wrist as she stroked. ‘O-Oh gods! Oak~ Oaaak!’ A spray of cum coated Oaklynn’s hand, his sticky seed spraying all over her, pooling onto the mattress below them.
“PFFT!” Suguru tried hard not to laugh, his hand flying up to muffle the chuckle. But god, it was too funny!
Upon hearing the laughter from your best friend, your eyes snapped down. There he was, tears in his eyes, tanned skin flushing a rosy color as his eyes remained glued on your screen. With a tiny gasp, you slammed your screen shut before hiding your face in your hands. Your jerky, panicked motions seemed to set Suguru off more as he threw his head back, barking out in laughter.
“Oh my god! Stop!”
“W-Why was he cumming like a faucet?!” Suguru rolled onto his back, wiping at the tears.
“Stop it!”
“And using the words vagina and penis? I preferred it when you called it Meat Stick and Fairy Cave!”
You grumbled before moving your hands to push him. “Could you please stop talking!? Please, I know it’s bad!” Those words had Suguru jerking his head up, finding you flushed cheeks and glimmering eyes.
“It’s not bad—”
“Yes, it is! This screams, ‘A virgin wrote this! She’s never gotten any action,’ Which is true! How can I describe an orgasm when I’ve never even had one?!”
The truthful outburst left you panting as Suguru’s laughter abruptly stopped. His dark eyes were transfixed on your face before you got up, putting away your notes and laptop, and as you silently moved around the room, you could feel Suguru’s eyes on you. And they stayed locked on you until you crawled into bed with a sigh, curling onto your side.
The self-doubt was in your every move, from how your body tensed to your shallow breathing as you fought back tears. You knew Suguru didn’t laugh to be malicious, but it wasn't a confidence booster either. At times like these, you questioned if you were good enough to do this and if writing a smutty fantasy was what you were capable of.
Suguru frowned as he watched your body tremble, soft whimpers sounding in your chest. God, he felt like an asshole. With hesitant movements, Suguru inched himself closer to you. His hand gently inches itself around your waist, pulling you into his chest. Seeing that you didn't fight him or verbally tell him no, Suguru wrapped his arm underneath you, spooning you.
“I’m sorry.” His breath was hot against your cheek. “I shouldn't have been snooping, especially when you were in rewrites.”
“I-It’s okay. I’m struggling with it; I want to be the best I can, ya’ know?”
“Mhmm, I know princess.” The warmth of his body had you relaxing. “Can I ask you a question?”
You turned your head and pressed your cheek against his. “Yeah, of course you can.”
“You’ve never had an orgasm?” His voice was so smooth and sultry, making you shiver. “Like ever?”
It was true; you struggled to reach the mythical ‘Big O’ since you started masturbating. You felt like you would get close, it was within grasp, but you would fall short. There was a time you thought maybe you did, but the fact you had to question yourself was the only answer you needed to know that you had, in fact, not had one.
“No, I haven't; I think my fairy cave is broken.”
Suguru’s chest rumbled as he laughed loudly, giving you a tight squeeze. God, he had it so bad for you. You were so innocent and cute; you had such a good sense of humor.
“I don't think it’s broken.” His statement had you rolling so that you were facing him. “You just need to explore it some more.” His hand reaches down gently, resting it on your ass. “I could talk you through it if you want.”
Tingles ran down your spine as he squeezed the fat of your ass. It was a mixture of relief and excitement that your reaction didn't turn him off from the night before. Your hands moved, gripping his shirt gently before biting your lip. You had tried so many times before, but Suguru—he knew what to do.
“I don't want you to talk me through it—I want you to do it.” Suguru’s dark eyes went wide, his pupils the size of pinpricks. “If you want to.”
Your best friend leaned close to your ear before placing a kiss against it, and he moved further down to your neck, his tongue past his lips, kisses and little licks over your sensitive skin. The sensation had you squirming, your pulse racing in your throat, and a shuddering sigh left your mouth. Suguru sucked on your neck as his hand groped and massaged your ass. Your body felt like it was kindling with fire, a low burn in the pit of your stomach as he continued to pepper kisses over your neck.
“You want me to make you cum?”
“P-Please.”
“I’d do anything for you.” He grunts gravelly into the crook of your neck. “I’ll make sure you know what an orgasm feels like. That way, your already amazing writing is more accurate.” Teeth grazed over the skin, leading to your shoulder, as one of Suguru’s hands slipped under your shirt, trailing over your belly. “Can I touch you?”
“Y-Yea—aah—” his hand groped your breast the second he heard ‘yeah’ leave your mouth. He gently squeezed it, massaging it between his long, thick fingers. His thumb gently brushed over the nipple with every squeeze. “Mmm—” you pressed your lips together as your eyes tailed down, watching his hand move underneath your tank top.
Suguru continued to kiss and nip at your neck, trailing kisses so gently over your skin; well, his other hand pinched and pulled at your nipple, rubbing the bud between his fingers. The way your body twitched and jerked underneath his touch had his cock throbbing hard within the confines of his sweats. The breathless gasps, the way you took your bottom lip between your teeth, gently gnawing at it, you look so fucking hot; he wanted to do more to see what other reactions he could draw out from you.
Suguru’s hand left your breast, slowly trailing down past your stomach before pressing his whole palm over your clothes-clad pussy. Being touched intimately for the first time had you jerking, eyes snapping shut. Suguru groaned, rubbing his hand over your pussy, feeling the warmth of your sex. You gasped as he pulled his hand away to his index and middle finger over your clothed clit. Your body jerked forward, your arms wrapping around his neck, hands sticking into his hair as he brushed over the sensitive bundle and the nerves a second time.
“Does that feel good?” Suguru asked, his mouth pulling away from your sensitive skin.
Your mouth fell open as your eyebrows knitted together. “F-Feels r-real good.” His fingers began rubbing against your clit in slow circles, drawing out a whine from your chest. “O-Oh fuuuck S-Suguru.”
“I got you~ I got you, don't worry.” His fingers rubbed faster, memorizing how you jerked and reacted, repeating the same movements to get you to respond more.
The intensity of everything was becoming too much for you to handle. It felt like your whole body was on fire, like a pot on the stove roaring to a boil. You needed more; you weren’t sure what, but you needed more of this, of Suguru. He needed to quench your thirst, to put water on the flames burning with every nerve of your body, and you knew that his fingers would be the only thing that could help you.
“I-I want more.” Your voice was so timid, making Suguru’s hand seize up momentarily. “Please.”
“You sure?” he asked, his voice dark and husky.
With a nod, you grabbed his wrist, bringing it up to the waistband of your shorts. “Yes, I’m positive.” You gently pushed his wrist down, allowing his fingers to slip under the elastic band. You could’ve sworn Suguru choked on his breath, his eyes widening in the low light of your bedroom as they glanced down to his hand that had breached your shorts.
Suguru wrapped his arm around you, holding you steady as his hand dipped lower, brushing against your slick folds. The initial contact has your head tilting back m as he groaned, feeling your delicate skin before rubbing at your clit gently. You gripped the fabric of his shirt, digging your nails into it. Your body trembled as you buried your face into his neck, whimpering against his skin.
“S-Suguru—”
“Is this okay?” Suguru moved slowly, carefully listening closely to your breathing and noting how you shook—memorizing each twitch, saving it for him to jerk off to when you fell asleep. All you could do was nod your head as you lost yourself in the pleasure. Seeing that you were doing so well, Suguru slipped his hand back further, his thumb rubbing against your clit before slowly sliding two fingers into you.
“Nngh!” You gasped out, pressing your lips against Suguru’s neck as you mewled. “Sugu~! Sugu~!” Your walls were beginning to flutter and convulse around him as he slowly curled his fingers in.
Feeling your hot breath against his neck, how your lips gently traced unintentional kisses over his sensitive skin had his cock throbbing hard. Suguru pressed into you, rubbing his hardening cock against your thigh. He slowly began thrusting his fingers in and out of you, wet squelched flooding the room as he rubbed your clit harder.
“I want to make you cum Princess.” He snarled against your cheek.
The vulgar words had you clamping down harder on his fingers. Your body was getting hotter, from your toes to your pussy, all the way into your stomach. That coil from a few nights before began tightening, coiling deep inside you. The intensity had you tugging on Suguru's shirt.
“S-Sugu~ f-feels intense a-again—Ah oh fuck it’s l-like before.” There was a twinge of uncertainty and fear in your voice. “I-I—”
“I know it's weird, but just let go. I got you—it’s going to feel so fucking good in a second.” His fingers moved in and out of your tight, wet heat faster, drawing out more gasps from you. “Trust me.”
“I-I do feel good, b-but—” Suguru hooked his fingers up, moving them in a come hither motion, causing your legs to shake. “Fuuuck! Oooh fuck!”
“God, you sound so good,” he whispered so softly you couldn't hear him over your moans. “So good.” Suguru had dreamed about doing this to you for so long, to have you underneath him, showing you how much you meant to him. It was a dream to have you clinging to him, gasping his name.
“Sugu—Suguru—” You could feel something coming; it was intense, making your toes curl. “S-Sugu—I-I—I think—!”
“That’s it~ that’s it, let go~ you’re gonna cum.”
His fingers pressed into the sponge spot inside of you. The pressure of his fingers and his thumb rubbing your clit had you seeing stars. You screamed into his neck, shutting your eyes tight as your thighs clamped around his hand. The pure fiery pleasure had your whole body and pussy convulsing as you cried out loudly, so loud Suguru heard your neighbor hit the wall with a ‘shut up.’
Suguru couldn't care; he wanted you screaming his name. He groaned as he felt your slick on his fingers, slowing down to help you ride out your first orgasm. "Shhhh, shh—princess, don't be too loud~" You panted heavily against his neck, tears in your eyes as the last waves of pleasure washed over you.
“Oooh fuck.” You wheezed out as Suguru gently pulled his finger out of you. “Oh my god.” As you rolled onto your back, Suguru quickly slid his fingers into his mouth, sucking your cum off with a satisfied growl. You tasted sweet with a tang of citrus; it was addictive. God, what would he do to taste it firsthand?
As he pulled his fingers out of his mouth, you rolled back onto your side and stared at him. Suguru smiled cocking an eyebrow at the almost unreadable expression on your face. “Yes? Can I he—eeegh!” Your hand brushed over his hard cock, catching him off guard. “W-What are you doing?” you say up on your knees, cheeks flushed with post-orgasmic glow and determination.
“I-I've never seen a man cum! A-And seeing that you offered to help me, c-could I watch you jerk off? O-Or maybe if it’s okay, could I touch you? Y-You’re hard, right?”
Your bluntness and straightforward request left your best friend gaping at you. You wanted to touch him? God, this was like two dreams coming true. But as much as he wanted to have your hand on him, he was afraid he’d blow his load the second your fingers wrapped around him. So he's going to have to compromise for now.
“How about I jerk off, and you can wrap your hand around me?”
“Okay! Um! Let's start.”
You sat back on your heels, swallowing hard as Suguru pulled the sheets off his body. You could hear your pulse pounding in your ears as you watched your best friend sit up, resting his back against your headboard, dark hair falling over his shoulder with every movement. Why were you so nervous? It was just Suguru’s dick, just your best friend, who just made you cum your brains out. Nothing about this should make you anxious! He was helping you! This was research!
But your research had your pussy throbbing as Suguru hooked his thumbs under the waistband of his pajama pants and pulled it down. When he did, his thick erect cock bounced, landing against his stomach with a hardy thump. It was heavy and thick, and it had you pressing your thighs together. The tip was a deep, dusty, rose color, dribbling out a clear substance from the tip. His shaft was tan; thick veins ran up and down as it twitched.
“Oh—” you whispered, taking in his well-trimmed pubes, admiring his happy trail that went from the bottom of his belly button down to the base of his cock. “Oooh fuck.”
“Yeah—” Suguru groaned, tilting his head to the side as he watched you with dark, knowing eyes. He saw the way you looked at him, your gaze lingering on his cock. “this is it.”
Suddenly, it became crystal clear why he had so many romantic partners. He was thick and big. You’re sure it would hit every place inside you that would feel good. Wait a minute, not you, his previous partners! It must’ve hit all the right places inside of them. It probably felt so good. Like how his fingers felt pressing that spot inside you. His cock had the perfect curve that would hit it just right.
“You good there? Did your virgin brain malfunction?”
In a way, it did, but you wouldn’t acknowledge that it had. “W-What!? No, of course not!” your eyes started to burn with a visible flush. “No.” Suguru just laughed breathlessly.
“I'm just teasing you, come here, I’ll show you what it looks like when a guy cums.” Your eyes slowly drifted back towards him, your breath catching in your throat at the sight of him stroking his shaft. His hand moved silly up and down, smearing what you could only assume was pre-cum over himself. “Fuccck.” he grumbled, “I’m so hard, I-I'm probably not going to last long.” That was okay with you. “You can wrap your hand around mine.”
With his invitation, you placed your hand over his moving your arm up and down as he stroked his cock. He didn’t go all the way down to the base. Instead, he focused his attention on the head of his cock. Each time, he stroked his cock, his head tilted back against the headboard as his legs spread. The muscles in his upper thighs constricted with each jerk. He looked so fucking good, like some sex god.
Seeing him in such a state had you trying to match his movements as best as possible and attempting to keep up with his steady but jerky pace. Your eyes wandered to where his shirt pulled slightly up, just enough for you to see the bottom half of his abs that were clenching with each stroke that focused on the head of his cock.
While his movements utterly entranced you, Suguru’s eyes were drawn to you. The way you took your bottom lip between your teeth, how your eyes roamed over him, focusing on the muscles in his stomach, before trailing back towards his cock. Your presence was enough to have him dribbling more pre-cum out. Suguru straightened his legs out, toes curling as his hand moved faster up and down over the head of his cock. He had it down so bad for you that it was going to be enough to send him over the edge.
“Oooh fuuuck~ fuck fuck fuck~” he growled through gritted teeth. “Fuck yeah.”
Fuck, oh God, he looks so good. Watching him pleasure himself had you feeling warm and fuzzy deep inside. He was really into jerking his hand up faster, squeezing himself hard. He looks so fucked out of his mind, and you were sure if you could see your face, your expression with mirror his. There was something about watching him getting off that had your pulse racing in your pussy throbbing, your shorts were already wet enough, and you could feel more slick coating them.
Moving your hand with his wasn’t enough. Biting down on your lip, you pulled his hand away. “Hey, what ar—aah—” Suguru’s head lolled back as you wrapped your soft hand around him, jerking your hand up and down at the same pace he was going.
“O-oooh.” You were not expecting it to be as velvety smooth as it was. The feeling of his cock in your hand had awakened something in you. You leaned over him, resting your free hand on his upper thigh. Stroking your hand over his cock up and down faster and harder, squeezing it like he had done to himself.
Suguru threw his head back against the headboard, hissing through his teeth as his eyes watched your hand move up and down over him. He had the scenario so many times in his head and his wet dreams when he would stroke himself until he would cum all over his hand. The final push was to feel you touching him with such enthusiasm.
“C-Cummin! Fuck! I’m cumming Princess!” Spurts of thick white cum shot out of his tip, lashing out over his stomach and his T-shirt. It wasn’t all like a hose; it was small ropes, for it to be exact, that lashed out over him and your hand. “A-Aah!” His whole body jerked his abs, clenching as his eyes rolled back, and you continued jerking your hand, milking him for all you could.
“W-Wow, tha-that was hot.” at the sound of your voice Suguru shot his hand forward, grabbing your wrist, stopping you from continuing to move over his cock. “O-Oh, sorry—“
“N-No, you’re okay, just sensitive.” He grunted as he let you go, allowing you to pull your coated hand back.
You both sat in your bed, traces of your orgasm coating both of you as Suguru came down from his high. Silence filled the open air between you, but it wasn’t at all awkward; instead, it was thick with tension, sexual tension. A tension Suguru was familiar with while the feeling was alien to you. Part of you wanted to reach out and kiss him, but something inside you prevented you from moving forward. Because this wasn’t a relationship, this was just your best friend helping you when you were struggling. It was nothing more than that.
Seeing as you were the only one capable of functioning, you got up and headed into your bathroom, grabbing a warm wet rag to clean you both off with. “Thank you for letting me do that.” You whispered as you cleaned off your hand before gently handing him the rag. “That was very informative, and I think it will help me with the pages. I’ve been struggling with it.” Suguru stared blankly at you, taking in your words as he wiped his cum off his stomach and shirt.
“Of course, I’m glad I could help you out.”
“Uhm, so do you wanna go to bed?”
“Yeah—yeah, that sounds good.”
“Awesome!”
After snatching the rag from him and tossing it in the bathroom, you crawled back into bed with your best friend. A man you had known since your childhood who you had grown up with. The two of you had been through thick and thin together, always there for one another no matter the circumstances.
As you lay down on your side, Suguru wrapped his arms around you, pulling you flush against your chest. You couldn’t help but wonder if you both had crossed the line tonight. Or if you had taken a step towards a new chapter of your relationship? Those questions could wait until morning because you were only concerned about how good it felt to be wrapped in his arms, listening to his heartbeat as you both drifted to sleep.
Forever Tag List:
@darkstarlight82 @pandoness @nealeart @simp-plague @sugurubabe @chilichopsticks
Tag List (TO BE ADDED AGE MUST BE IN BIO)
@lemonintrovert01 @spankmydepression @renttheannihilator @witchbybirth @missmuffinr @lialia3945 @theobsidianempress @aquasan29 @toffeebrat @aussiemeerkat @chimichangagirl @zoroisminty @spankmydepression @em-aizawa @gojosimp26
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snzleclerc · 2 days
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REGRET & LOVE (series) 🎹 1/-
previous part next part other parts
: Leonor is a portuguese girl adopted by a portuguese couple living in Monaco. her childhood was difficult, with the orphanage leaving deep scars, but some people in Monaco brought light into her life. unfortunately, not everything lasts forever. people change, and even those closest to us can drift away… even Charles.
ps: in this story, Kika is 25, just like Leonor.
* i have a taglist, just ask and I'll add you!
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2015
"Life changes paths very easily, sometimes even faster than expected. Each day presents new challenges, new obstacles, new people, and new choices. Even what we believe to be forever eventually slips away, and there's no avoiding it. It's like a ray of sunshine; when it hits your eyes, you feel good, but when night falls, all that remains is to appreciate the silence and solitude."
I conclude my high school philosophy presentation with these words. The applause reverberates loudly on the school stage, as strong as I try to hold back my tears.
My journey has changed so much over the years.
"Thank you for that, Leonor. You'll definitely be in the running for the prize!" My teacher tells me as I head backstage, feeling tears welling up in her eyes.
To avoid any conflict, I rush to the women's restroom. I close the door tightly behind me as I sit on the toilet seat, never having spoken about this with anyone other than my adoptive parents. Not that I've spoken about it directly, but just touching on this subject brings back the same pain I felt last year.
But my thoughts are quickly interrupted when I hear a knock on the door. Doesn't the person realize it's occupied? Anyway, I stand up, wipe my face with the sleeve of my sweater, and open the door.
I'm greeted by a girl from my class whom I've never spoken to before. She has medium brown hair, olive skin, and huge brown eyes that match her hair.
To be honest, I've never spoken to her. We've always been part of different friend groups; maybe our maximum contact was the day her pencil fell on the floor and I picked it up, that's it.
Her friends are... complicated. It seems like they always want to be seen by everyone. From a distance, you can tell she doesn't fit into that group; she's more fun, cooler.
"Hey," I say to her in a low tone, if I'm not mistaken her name is Francisca.
"Hi!" She greets me cheerfully as I exit the stall and head towards the sink, with her by my side. "I saw you running out of the presentation, which was really good by the way!"
I'm happy with her comment; it was honest, sincere.
"And well, you seemed upset, so I came to check on you! How are you?" She asks with her big chocolate eyes looking at me with curiosity, but concern.
"I'm fine, just a little nervous after the presentation." I try to disguise it with a laugh, but it seems to only make it worse.
"I know you're not okay. Come with me, let's go to the cafeteria, and if you want, you can vent." Without hesitation, the brunette pulls me through the school hallways towards the mentioned place.
We sit in the empty cafeteria at a table in the corner and stare at each other for a while to see who speaks first.
She rests her chin on her hands and starts. "I guess I better say something, right?" She looks at me, and we laugh together. "You know that group of friends of mine, right? Well, in the last few days, they've been, well—" She pauses to take a deep breath, and I already know what happened. "Recently, they've been sidelining me; it seems like nothing I do pleases them. I just wish I knew why all of this..."
"Look, it's hard, I've felt that way too..." I start, trying to comfort her. "Last year, my best friend did something terrible to me. It feels like everything started going wrong from that day on, and I've never felt so alone. Despite the sadness, I try to move on. I know crying doesn't solve anything, but it's just a way for me to express myself, and I understand you." I look at her with a reassuring look; this situation isn't easy.
"Well, then, we're both screwed," she says, and I let out the first genuine laugh of the day. She's not wrong. "When you feel like talking about him, you tell me, okay? Let's forget what hurt us together. Next year, we'll go to college and become real adults; it's time for us to forget."
But, oh, Charles, you're unforgettable.
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mewogrl · 3 days
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ʜᴇᴀᴠʏ ᴄʜᴇꜱᴛ✧.*
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bestfriend!megumi x f!reader
megumi miscommunicates his feelings to 'cure' his heavy chest.
↳˳;; ❝ part of my jealous? me? never! fic, masterlist here ᵕ̈೫˚∗
content: angst, miscommunication, implied relationship, readers pronouns are she/her, toge being a jerk, smau briefly, a few weeks after
wc: 1k
an: currently on the school bus 4 a trip nd writing this out 😭 kinda rushed, pls don't come at me
﹋﹋
megumi slogs into the school, giving a nasty look to anyone who isn't you. especially when he see's inumaki.
megumi doesn't know what hurts him more, the fact that his ex-bestfriend is choosing to try and win over his bestfriend that inumaki knows he likes, or the fact that your choosing to be friends with inumaki rather than just hearing him out on this one.
he decides before lunch would be the best time to discuss it with you and he shoots you a text.
﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋
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﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋
you left him on seen, which was unusual of you but he assumed it was because of the little arguments you guys had the previous few weeks.
he wasn't mad you had decided to rule out being friends with him for yourself, he understood, but he was still hurt a decent amount considering you guys had been friends for 15 years.
megumi came out of his trance and his heart started to race when he saw your little '...' bubble pop up.
all the hope quickly left him and his heart sank when it disappeared. megumi was disappointed. he had prayed that you would still show up so he can truly express his heavy feelings about this situation to you.
﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋
it was 30 minutes before lunch and megumi clutched his phone in his clammy hand as he jogged to the meeting location.
he was praying this wasn't for nothing and that you would actually show. 5 minutes pass, then 10. he was slowly loosing hope that you would actually show.
all of a sudden, he saw you shuffle up to the tree out of the corner of his eye. he didn't wanna show it but he was happy. happy that you showed. happy that you cared.
"hi megumi." you say, shyly. he worries, why are you shy around him? you're never shy near him, and you never should be.
"hi y/n," megumi answered. he tries to add on to his sentence with his reason of bringing you here but you cuts him off.
"listen, i know its really soon but, i think i like toge. and he told me that you guys are bestfriends so i thought you could help me out. you know, since you and him are bestfriends and so are we," you confess.
megumi feels his heart sink all the way down to the core of the earth. you like toge. you like toge and not megumi. out of all the people that like megumi, you are not one of them. toge has now gotten you officially wrapped around his finger and there was nothing in the universe megumi could do about it besides wait.
he blinks away the few tears threatening to fall out of his tear ducts at any given moment and stutters.
"oh, y/n," i continue, "that's.. great. i'm so happy for you. you guys are gonna be so cute together..!" he lies out of his teeth.
he was praying all this time that maybe, just maybe, he could revamp this relationship he had made with you and finally confess his feelings that he's had pent up for years but now that chance has faltered.
you don't catch onto the little big lie megumi had told and continue.
"thank you, gumi! i'm so happy you understand. you know what's funny," you pause for a few seconds of silence, "i actually thought you and me would get together!"
megumi was sure he was absolutely sobbing his eyes out by now.
"i had liked you and i was sure you liked me but after these few weeks, i told myself to move on because i could tell by the way you were acting towards me and shit that you hadn't liked me.." concluded y/n.
megumi was about to go batshit insane. you had liked him, and you hadn't said anything to him. megumi didn't wanna lash out at you so he chose to go for the better option and ditch this whole talking-things-out plan all together.
"oh! haha.." he fakes, "that's funny y/n. what's the ti- oh shitt! i have to um, go somewhere. b-bye now, y/n." he lies with a scarily convincing fake smile.
you noticed he hadn't been using the little nickname he had given you after you gave him the nickname 'gumi' but you shrugged it off.
megumi was so fucking dumbfounded. why wouldn't you just say something to him? it was so clear as day that he had liked you! he made it so obvious and he even had yuji help him out on making it even more obvious!
megumi ran out of the school, leaving a trail of tear drops soak up little spots on the floors behind him.
he stops to take a breather. meanwhile. you pace as you head to lunch.
you let your mind wonder about megumi. why was he acting so weird? did something happen? why did he run off so quick? did he wanna ask me something?
you decided on stopping your stupid mindset and just hurrying up to lunch as fast as possible. you knew toge was probably waiting for you, and you were (almost) positive megumi was a-ok.
once you get your lunch, you head over to the table at which you and toge both sit at. you see toge waiting for you to eat his meal and quickly advance over to the table.
"hi toge!" you speak, excited. he flashes a cute smile as you and responds.
"hey y/n/n!"
you completely forget about the whole weird interaction with megumi and continue to chat with toge but megumi doesn't let his mind rest from you.
he can't stop thinking about you and how to stop you from liking toge and to like him. he knows there has to be some way and that he can finally, hopefully, get you to see that he does love you.
he plots on finally discussing the whole thing and maybe asking you out. that part is still in the works though. he's not sure if now is the right time.
he wipes off his tears and takes a deep inhale, hoping to get you back.
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@1l-ynn @theweirdfloatything @morideadcat
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I'm finally starting to get the love for Jean—but I still think he's a jerk.
After playing Disco Elysium for the first time, I was pretty baffled as to why people seemed to like Jean so much. In my experience, he had only ever made fun of us when we radioed in. He was constantly critical of us and basically seemed to hate our guts.
Then I played again. And again. And again. And I think I get it now.
(Disco Elysium spoilers. Also, "ridiculously long post" warning.)
Jean is supposed to be our partner. Lt. Kim Kitsuragi can put up with us because he's a saint, but imagine how hard it is to try to keep someone afloat when you're always on the brink of drowning yourself.
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If you have high Esprit de Corps while on the radio, you can learn Jean actively tries to protect us, despite making fun of us beforehand.
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He's upset about what we said, though. He's upset about what we did. He's upset about the fact that he's spent so much of his life worrying about us, and then we went and told him we didn't need him.
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So he decides to have fun for once. He shows up in a blond wig and sunglasses to look like Guillaume Bevy, thinking we'll catch on.
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But we don't.
He also specifically references the fact that we told him to leave (except in a much less pleasant way than that).
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Even when we almost get it, we don't, really.
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We say we can't imagine working with him anymore, hypothetically speaking.
He says the same thing. But it isn't so hypothetically.
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We may not recognize him, but somewhere deep down, we recognize the feeling he gives us. We may have forgotten almost everything else, but we haven't forgotten what it was like to be partners.
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And despite his best attempts, he can't forget either.
If Cuno's there to defend us at the end, Jean claims he's only letting us return because of the kid. But that's not the only reason.
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And if we end up alone, he still can't help but feel sad.
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He leaves the door open for us...
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... but things will really have to change. And based on the text from Shivers, it seems pretty unlikely.
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So do I think Jean is perfect? No. He can be a jerk. He makes fun of us and doesn't understand the depths of our struggles. This post by palms-upturned explains that really well.
But Jean is also tired of drowning. In some ways, I think he feels exactly like that Coupris we crashed. If he had stayed on with us, he would have drowned too. And there would have been no bringing him back.
So I don't know. Do I love Jean? No. Not really. I still have my reservations. But I think anyone who has ever held onto someone so tightly, especially one who says they don't want to get better (and can say it twice)...
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... can understand how Jean feels. If only for a moment.
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Maybe if we do go back, we find a way to make amends. Maybe Jean will learn more about us and realize there is something wrong, and he shouldn't beat us up for it. Maybe he can let go of the bitterness. It is as Miss Oranje Disco Dancer herself said:
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The world can change. People can change. We can change. And I really hope we will.
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I wanted to share thoughts and analysis on Full Moon (the last scene, at least).
I'll start with saying at the end of the day, I'm gonna be partial to Stolas in this since Blitzø hurt him pretty bad, but I will defend them both. Because the situation is complicated, and Blitzø is also hurting.
Blitzø obviously did and said extremely hurtful things, but I want to break down his actions since he's the one who's not upfront with how he feels.
(Please no discourse on my post. I'm just sharing my personal opinions and interpretation.)
I'll start at when Stolas asked for the grimoire back.
Blitzø is confused and unhappy about the situation. He's clearly uneasy with how Stolas is acting. Understandable. However, he doesn't exactly handle the situation in the best way.
The first thing he does is question if it's because he's skipped the past few nights. The tone he uses feels kind of manipulative (a trait he does possess), especially how he talks about being busy (which assuredly isn't the full truth even if true. With some of the stuff he says earlier in the episode, I'm pretty sure he's been avoiding having to talk to him. He seems to feel like there's maybe something wrong, and doesn't want to face it or make things more complicated).
Blitzø is scared to lose the book, obviously, but I think it becomes pretty clear that it's not the book that is his main worry, but Stolas. Sure, it's a big part of the initial panic but I feel like his reaction would've been more angry than scared and worried if that was the main thing.
The second thing he does after Stolas tells him to hand it back is offer to fuck him. Telling him how good it'll be. How he doesn't disappoint. Because that's how he deals with this stuff. Seduction to get what he wants (like he did the night he stole the book). Because he thinks that's what Stolas wants. Because if he fucks him real good, then Stolas will still want him here. But Stolas makes it clear that sex isn't want he's after.
Once Blitzø has the stone, that scared and upset feeling goes away. He's genuinely happy and thankful that Stolas did such a kind and considerate thing. At least for a moment.
When Stolas tells him that they are no longer bound to an agreement, he starts to panic. He's worried that he's not good enough. He's scared that Stolas is done with him. He says he can do better. You can hear the desperation in his voice.
Stolas assures him that he's not doing anything wrong and thats not why he was doing this. That he was doing it because wanted him to be able to make his own choice to stay. To make it right and fair. Because he cares so deeply for him.
I'm very happy at how upfront he was about it all. He told him he was under no obligation to stay, and you can see the fear in Blitzø's eyes when he says this. He thinks Stolas doesnt want him around anymore. But Stolas almost immediately clarified that he still wanted him to stay.
And you can see it on Blitzø's face how much Stolas's words do mean. You can see it's something he wants to hear, his expression goes so soft. He so desperately wants it to be true but absolutely refuses to believe that it is.
So he turns it back to what he's comfortable with. The thing he admittedly focuses on when he feels like he's getting in his own head. Sex.
Obviously Stolas must be trying to roleplay, because how could he have feelings like that toward him? That must be it. He's so in denial of the reality of it, he will not allow himself to see it.
Until it hurts Stolas. Until Stolas makes it very clear that he was being serious and honest.
What Blitzø did is awful and hurtful. It seems almost mocking knowing that what he's 'roleplaying' is real to Stolas. The "I love you" is especially devastating. He most definitely was not trying to hurt Stolas here. You can see on his face that he's unsure in what he's doing when he starts to talk. And when Stolas stops him, you can see the disappointment and sadness as realized he did the wrong thing.
But he was convincing himself that what Stolas said wasn't true. Because any thought otherwise seems impossible to him.
He's wrong, though. And I completely understand why Stolas kind of just shut down here. That's like a knife to the heart.
And Stolas explains why. Explains that even though he's wanted him for so long, for Blitzø to only see sex in what he says and does was pretty telling to how he viewed their relationship. And that crushed him.
The moment Blitzø realizes that he was serious, his whole view shifts. He gets upset. Very upset.
The one thing I will wholeheartedly stand by Blitzø saying is when he asks if he could give him a fucking minute (Now I disagree with what follows, but I'll get back to that.). Stolas did drop kind of a big thing on him, something that shattered everything he had told himself. And then walked away, which isn't exactly fair.
Again, I don't fault Stolas for walking off, not wanting to hear more, saying he had his answer. Blitzø was unintentionally hurtful, and he's upset and devastated. But at the same time, he really didn't give Blitzø any time to process what was happening and what he was telling him.
He probably didn't think he needed to because interpreting what Blitzø did at face value would be exactly how he interpreted it. And he's not fully wrong that Blitzø sees things as sexual. He purposely sees them that way. But what happened shouldn't be taken at face value. Though Stolas had no way of knowing that.
Now back to what follows that. He says some pretty shit things to Stolas. He's upset and lashes out at him.
The things he says aren't fair nor are they correct. He's projecting his issues with royals in general onto Stolas. He has a dislike for nobility, one that stems from feeling like they step on the little people and don't care about how their 'lessers' feel. That they don't give a shit about imps like himself. The image he's built of Stolas is completely warped by his view on royalty. Fizz has even called him out on it ("It sounds like you just hate him for being a prince").
One of the things that stood out was his line about how he can't treat him like one of his imp butlers and just dismiss him away. He feels like Stolas is throwing him away. Stolas is very clearly leaving because he's hurt, but Blitzø takes it as a kind of rejection. (Like at Ozzie's, he can't see clearly what's going on.)
As I mentioned before, I think the main fault Stolas's has in this situation is not giving Blitzø any time to process and understand everything that was currently happening. He shouldn't have sent him away. He should've at least listened to what Blitzø was trying to say. Tried to understand what he might be feeling.
Because Blitzø was trying to apologize. Once he saw how much his words affected Stolas, saw him crying because of the things he did and said, he realized he fucked up. And honestly, he needed to see that. He needed to know that his actions and words can and do hurt Stolas.
But I don't blame Stolas for teleporting him away, even though I think he was wrong in doing so. Blitzø basically twisted the knife that had already pierced his heart. It broke him. Hearing how lowly Blitzø (incorrectly and through his own convincing of himself) thought of him shattered him. Because how could a relationship be any kind of possible if the other person thinks you're shitty and awful? And to hear that from someone you respect and care so deeply for is so incredibly heartbreaking.
It's why I'm on Stolas's side (not that there even needs to be sides). He was trying to do the right thing. He was being kind and caring. He didn't really do anything wrong, but still got so deeply hurt.
But I can't really blame Blitzø, even though I think he's in the wrong here. Even though he caused a lot of pain to someone who only wanted good for them both. He's hurting too. He's a very broken person with a lot of issues he hasn't worked through. His actions and words were awful and mean. But he's struggling. This isn't an easy situation for him. He couldn't even comprehend someone loving him because he hates himself so much.
It's why he lied to himself about Stolas. Because how can that be true? And because you can't get hurt if you don't actually get close to someone. If you pretend that it's nothing and doesn't matter, it can't hurt you when it inevitably falls apart.
But they aren't true, the things he's been telling himself. And that sends him reeling. The realization comes crashing down, and feelings just come pouring out.
The situation is messy and complicated. And I feel for them both.
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animemensblog · 3 days
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Taming the beasts
Pt. 1 of 5; Sukuna
Au!Sukuna x gn!reader
New mini series: reader taming dominate men (sexually, and/or not sexually hehe)
Warnings: cussing, suggestive themes, Sukuna is a bitch but that's what you're here for :p
At first, Sukuna was put off by your confidence and independence. He didn't understand how someone so "weak" doesn't need someone like him, let alone want him. After just a few minutes of dealing with your attitude he declared he loves this type of challenge. The chase where the victim isn't just submitting to satisfy him.
"hey, you" he whispered over your shoulder, "what's your name?" His rough hands made its way to your sides, softly gripping, attempting to pull you closer. You might as well be a tree for how little you moved.
"Y/N"
"Pretty" he laughs, bringing his hips towards you. You patiently wait for him to say something more. Maybe something you could respond to, or even something interesting. You hum in response and pull his hands off, successfully leaving him behind to catch up with your friends who manage to squeeze past the drunken, dancing bodies into the kitchen.
To say Sukuna was offended would be an understatement. Everyone wanted him, right? So what's wrong with you?
"Wait up" he calls after you, pathetically scrambling to keep up. He almost trips when he switches rooms, grabbing your attention, along with everyone else.
"Hi" Sukuna awkwardly says while he moves towards you. "Almost lost ya there" he laughs. Your eyes crinkle just slightly when the biggest, heart-stopping smile spreads across your face.
"That was the point!" You giggle before turning back to your friends. Of course Sukuna is taken back, why would you want him to stay away? Isn't he handsome or whatever?
"I'm gonna grab a beer, do you want a drink, snack or something?" You glance down at your already full drink.
"No thanks!" You say cheerfully. His lips form a straight line, then an awkward smirk before turning to get his drink. When he spins back to you, you've escaped once again. This time, he didn't see which way you ran.
He smiles to himself, huffing and puffing, almost upset he's letting you get under his skin. It's gonna be a long night, he thinks.
When he finds you again, you're sitting next to some guy on the couch. Your legs are crossed, the leg on top swinging and bouncing to the music. You don't look impressed to say the least. The man is clearly trying to start something up but you're peacefully sipping your drink as if his words are just wind blowing onto your hair.
All of his words die in his throat when Sukuna approaches, his presence always made people weary. Their faces would show it, if they didn't say it already. Except, you still look unamused. So what if he scares people? You can be people's nightmares too, it's nothing new.
He's hovering over you when he speaks up, "hey again" he says softly. You nod at him. Why does your attention make him so.. giddy? He pushes the unwanted guest over to force a third spot on the love seat for himself. "Enjoying the party?"
"Eh, it could be better." You were gonna whisper something until the stranger sitting next to you interrupted, "I could make it better" he says 'seductively'.
"So original" you say sarcastically
"Don't believe me?" The guy says, his hand reaching to run over your thigh, "let me prove it, right here and now." You swat his gropers away, scoffing at his attempt. You don't respond, making the man pout.
That's when Sukuna realizes, you're looking for something impressive. Something memorable, different. Something like him.
He scoffs at the man-child next to you before speaking, "not a fan of parties?"
"I loveeee parties," you sing, "I just don't like the ones where the meat is mediocre." You sigh, tilting your head up to the ceiling, thinking of many, many better ways you could be spending your time.
"I see what you mean" Sukuna chuckles, leaning farther back into the couch before crossing his arms.
"How so?" Your eyes land on his jawline, admiring how sharp it looks, or how his throat bobs when he swallows.
"The men here, they don't know a thing about approaching a woman like yourself."
"And you do?" You whisper, your breath barely touching his ear. Sukuna felt a rush of heat run along his neck, taking over his entire body. He turns his head until he can stare at you from the corner of his eye.
"Well, no," he leans over so his mouth is hovering next to your neck and whispers, "but this is the most you've talked to any man tonight. Must mean you like me, yeah?"
You let out a little, almost sadistic (at least to Sukuna, it sounded evil) chuckle, "not quite". He wants to laugh as he watches you stand up and disappear once again.
This time, he doesn't chase you.
He lets you wander, for you to think about how he's the only man here equipped to handle you.
However that backfires, because he hasn't seen you in over an hour. He supposedly knows about everything that happens in his not-so-humble abode, except you've seemed to escape him. Which is why he's shocked to find you exploring the empty rooms throughout his apartment.
He had, actually, called it quits on finding you long ago and was dragging a random girl up to his room, only to see you snooping through his bookshelves.
When he swings the door open, your eyes meet and go wide. You weren't allowed up here, everyone knows the rules. Even you, little sweet y/n that just loves pushing Sukuna's buttons.
The chuckle you let out rivals the sinister one from earlier, one that makes his spine tingle and stomach do flips. You reach for your cup on his dresser before brushing past him and his one-night stand, skipping down the hall and into the living room.
"Heh" he shakes his head and looks down at his feet, his big hands release the girl beside him and shuts his bedroom door. Without another word, he waves her goodbye and chases you, once again.
It's easier to search for you, after all most people have left by now. Something in him finally feels confident, he's convinced he won't lose you and can win you over. So imagine his surprise when you blatantly reject his proposal.
"What?"
"I'm sorry, wasn't I clear? I'm not interested in fuckin you" you're trying your best not to laugh, but his scrunched up face is just too good. His face afterwards though? Now that's something anyone should fear.
His rough hands grab your arms and turn you around, pulling you very close. Sukuna's voice is deep when he whispers, "I invited your friends out of pity, it's the only reason they're getting their much needed attention. That includes you, I mean, making me chase you around like you're not a common whor-" he's abruptly stopped by your hand smacking his face.
No words are needed really, Sukuna manages to connect the dots himself. He'd never admit it but that was called for and he wishes he could've done it before you did. The sound echoed, becoming louder than the music that was already dying out. The last handful of guests are all first-hand witnesses of Sukuna's pathetic behavior.
It takes him a second to come back to earth, watching you exit through those stupid front doors that he should've barricaded the moment he met you. "Hey! Wait- ugh" he practically whines as he pushes through his guests, hoping to stop you before getting too far. "Let me apologize."
"I'm not sure if you deserve that chance!" You holler without turning around, marching down the sidewalk heading towards your hotel for the weekend. Sukuna decides to run. He's spent all night helplessly chasing you around like a dog, doing it some more won't make it worse. He opts to pull you back by your shirt, rather than putting his hands on your body considering what happened last time.
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean what I said."
"No I think you did, I'm sure that's why you invited my friends. For more common whores to fill your stupid party,-"
"That's not-"
"speaking of which, don't you have a girl waiting for you?"
"N-no" well, he's peaked your interest. Someone was handing themselves to him, and he left them for what?
You may have recently met but he's surely leaving an impression.
"She leave you too?" you joke
"More like you distracted me"
"Hmph"
"I'm sorry, truly. I shouldn't have said that, any of it."
"well.. you're not completely forgiven"
"but, I get some forgiveness?"
"It was disgusting of you to say that"
"I know" he pouts
"you'll just have to prove you deserve allmy forgiveness, my friend's too."
"I'll do my best. We could start tonight? Would you like to go inside, we can watch a movie while everyone sobers up some more?" He says
"I can't, I have plans tomorrow morning and it's late" a moment of silence passes, "but I'm free after lunch"
Sukuna perks up at this, finally releasing your now crumpled up shirt. "Great" he chuckles, "great" you repeat.
Another moment of silence, then you resume walking and he starts heading back inside. As he shuts the door, he glanced at his mirror seeing how red his cheeks are. That's when he notices the butterflies in his stomach, his sweaty palms and rapid heartbeat.
"Shit"
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shy-forceghost · 1 year
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I'll forever stand by this:
Separating Beatrice and Lilith after the Vatican attack was one of the worst decisions they* could've made, and at the same time feels so natural with their roles on the OCS.
Those girls had just lost two of the most important people in their lives, one dead, the other vanished. They were their only mutual support, and one of them has just come back from literal hell, yet they were expected to just carry on and continue being of service to the OCS (as proper Sister Warriors do). They were not given time to mourn their loses, to reconnect, to just cry; instead, they were given missions: look after Mary, take care of Ava. Move, move, move.
And they did, because that's how they are, how they were shaped to be; they only see themselves as worthy when they are useful. They push themselves to fulfill missions they are undoubtedly committed to (there's no question on whether Lilith wants to know what happened to Mary, nor on Beatrice wanting to protect Ava), because if they don't, who would do it? They are the older sisters now, the ones responsables of keeping things moving. They step into their roles without doubt, but also without guidance, no more guidance than the memories of the sisters they just buried.
I keep thinking about Beatrice, in The Alps, scared upon the possibility of Ava getting hurt because she isn't training her well enough, unable to ask anyone for advice because all of her older sisters are gone.
I am thinking about Lilith browsing Portugal's streets, looking for Vincent, lost both physically and emotionally, reaching the end of the day with no one else but herself and missing the silent presence of her sister, who always knew how to keep her company.
I am thinking about a pair of sisters who were separated when they needed each other the most, before losing themselves completely.
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wildflowercryptid · 5 months
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something that's been weighing on my mind ever since learning about the situation with ezra / toonimal is seeing how these predators will take the active hostility that is frequently directed towards minors in online spaces to their advantage and use it to prey on vulnerable children. i think that we as adults in online fandom should probably come together and maybe rethink the language / manner we go about interacting with kids bc clearly the way things are rn is causing active harm.
like obviously, if you're an adult and aren't comfortable with minors interacting with you or your content, you should be allowed to set that boundary and should be vocal about it, ( especially if the content you create isn't safe for them to consume. ) but i don't think talking to them like they're a blight on all that is good and holy is the way to go about it. maybe just saying you're an 18 plus account will suffice, you don't have to tell them to fuck off.
#i'm opening myself up for ppl to leave the stupidest takes on this post but whatever i need to get this off my mind#before anyone says anything about the kids on that website. they're grooming victims. they're literally kids being taken advantage of#show them some fucking kindness and be understanding that they're the victims in this situation#idk what it is about becoming an adult that causes so many ppl to lose their empathy towards minors it's weird#like yeah kids can be annoying and pushy on online spaces sometimes but a lot of them are old enough to know online etiquette lbr#alot of us were annoying kids on the internet at some point we should understand that you don't just. get a handbook for how to act online#that's shit you learn overtime but ppl seem to forget that#they also seem to forget that talking down to kids isn't gonna teach them shit they're not gonna listen to you if you treat them like idiots#what i'm trying to say is that we really need to talk to minors more respectfully and maybe give them a little grace#( obviously there will be situations where some of them need to be yanked up by the collar but there's ways to go about that >>>#without treating them like shit )#these kids need to know that there's spaces for them to be online safely without having to stumble into places that'll pray on them#we all know how much it sucked to be a kid online we should want better for the ones coming in after us ya know#sorry if this comes across as preachy it just breaks my heart and boils me blood to see kids being taken advantage of like this#especially when there's ways to prevent it idk#how do i even tag this....#mj.txt#there's trigger warning on the linked post btw#tw csa mention
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sskk-manifesto · 2 months
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Atsushi's back in the game!!! ۶( ˆ o ˆ )
#And Kouyou!!!!#Also. I can say Steinbeck is kinda 👀👀👀#King of the specific category of “I forget I like him until he's on screen”#I'm seriously unlocking memories with this rewatch. Like I haven't thought about it in two years–#but I just know when I was watching the anime for the first time I was being like#“Of COURSE the villains need to spend several minutes each episode explaining in detail how their own superpowers work so that the–#protagonists can get a perfect idea of how to best counter them. Why are villains made so freaking stupid in this show” aljhvwslchvqliyqwb#But. Eh. I guess that's just bsd to you.#Alsoooooo random thought of the day: I don't really favour how Tanizaki's ability was adapted in the anime.#I very well understand they were going for this green Matrix-like illusion effect‚ but every time someone says “... Snow?”#I'm like please explain where do you live that has snow glowing green.#Aamsjgvfaskjhfv sorry this is me being very. Cranky and nitpicky and having terrible audience etiquette in refusing to–#engage in suspension of disbelief. It just bugs me akvakcvqkyb I just feel like... Green is such a non-snow color–#that quite of completely disrupts the Light Snow / Sasame Yuki aesthetic. I would have liked it much better light blue or simply white.#What else. The way the Guild just goes on at stereotypes still troubles me a lot. The “usamericans can't be touched by laws–#because they use money to corrupt anyone” “foreign criminal organization come in our country to corrupt our pure and untouched soil”#Idk. Maybe all of it is true. Can it still be deemed a stereotype when it's objectively something that's happened before–#and will probably keep happening?#I suppose I'm just not a fan of the constant hostility against any foreigner. Idk.#This situation besides is extremely ironical. If you meet me irl it probably won't take long to see me being very outspoken about–#how much I despise usa cultural colonization of all other countries. It's something that really bothers me‚ how rooted and pervasive–#their influence is. So in a lot of ways I can relate to the author's sentiment#I just feel that. If you start treating them as stereotypes and ignore the complexity of a country and the wide spectrum of causes–#that contribute to its attitude in international relations. You end up practicing precisely what you're trying to criticize.#Okay this is the last time I'm getting into the politics of the Guild arc lol#random rambles#This time I took watching the episode slow I feel a little late
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suncaptor · 2 months
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there's something specifically inside my head that is closing up that makes trusting anything so hard. i have to manually keep my mind open to the potential of anything being significant. i am so used to things being bad and things hurting and things not working and being powerless that it takes an exorbitant amount of mental energy to make sure I don't let myself shut down possibility. and I do it because I never want a certainty inside of me besides love to rule anything. but I want my brain elastic again. i want it open like breathing. it doesn't erase the unfairness or the critique or any of the bitter-built philosophy.
#it's so hard to describe what I mean. i think it's the combo of the like. specific part of my brain's development + the amount of trauma#I have endured + the degree of which that has been taking place on a backdrop of the world being incredibly injust no matter what I do#this is very very silly but the extent of how much this impacts me was made clear by how like. closed off I was to even liking an album by#my favourite singer. like obviously I am obsessively keeping myself open I would never let my preconceived sense of doom and stubbornness#control my willingness to let things in#but it shouldn't be so hard to keep my mind open to things like... liking my favourite musician of most of my life's music...........#and that's a VERY silly example but that's why it's easier to talk about. it takes so much work to be open enough for things like therapy#or religion because they've damaged me so much#how am i supposed to handle this on a backdrop of constant constant helplessness in the face of living insecurity and illness and trauma?#the problem is if you try so so so hard again and again and remain hopeful regardless of how illogical that hope is#but you get let down so constantly since you're never stop trying ever even when systems fail you again and again#and you're watching horrible things happen and everything that shapes you is horror#then regardless of how much you try it's so hard to let yourself let go of the very realistic lived experience of doubt and critique#and I DO. do NOT get me wrong. I am obsessive and refuse to be my own problem#but the act of doing so shouldn't be like this. it's in everything i do. from simple things like listening to new music to even the mere#possibility of a future#i am very worried this one is going to be misinterpreted bc I AM NOT saying I'm stubborn in the face of systems that have repeatedly failed#me. I AM NOT. I am saying to not be shouldn't take this work when it envelops the rest of my life.#if anyone reads this far please please acknowledge the degree of which I almost pathologically try again and again when I can guarantee#nearly everyone wouldn't and still fight to keep myself open to hope because that's just something in me that is like that. but BEING like#that is. repeatedly putting yourself in situations where you are powerless already and helpless to get better and then are hurt more and#there's no way to escape it's just the repeated nature of it and then trying to not be the issue.#it's the problem in itself.#my ambition SHOULD be smarter.#god I'll go into this when I fully understand it another time. i don't think i have this phrased in a way to make all the dots of what i#mean correlate in the significant ways to anyone but me#but hey i guess i'm expecting anyone to read this in a light to misperceive me in the first place instead of accept maybe I'm not explainin#well or giving me the benefit of the doubt. see.#delete
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franeridan · 1 year
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was watching a process video of an artist i really like trying a style he doesn't usually go for and he's usually got this very flowy, free style but for this one he was doing lineart and he was obviously struggling with it and said something like he really doesn't know how people can comfortably work with solid lineart and that genuinely shocked me into stopping the video and looking at nothing for a little while ngl
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already thinking "and by 'religious' really i mean 'christian'" re: how the term "religion" is not really useful when it's largely like, from a christian perspective, what is considered "equivalent" of christianity, see: perhaps a "rival"/obstacle to some person or group being considered christian....and even if not thinking about converting anyone, resulting in some at best misinterpretation / misrepresentation based on framing it through/as [element of christianity] and limiting of any more accurate language
like how tumblr recommends me a post about someone thinking about "religion" in general and concluding that it's Weird and perhaps Wrong for anyone who is a "true believer" in their religion(tm) to Not be proselytizing / trying to Convert everyone. like yeah why isn't everyone being an evangelical christian, they ought to be, benevolently informing all those around them that they're going to hell, otherwise. don't see any problem with this conclusion, or that someone's getting antisemitic in the notes already in agreement, or that That's Not How This Works and you don't just know how All "Religion" works based on considering it to be an alternate version of christianity (which in itself doesn't All work like that either)
#and even when it comes to having a Critical View of any belief system / way of living / spirituality it's like...people are on that already#without having to see it from a christian perspective or understand the only possible framework for it as [critiques of christianity]....#a dogmatic approach / doctrine of Salvation....not how it all works out there re: ways anyone can be anything besides christian#So Bizarre why everybody's not all trying to ''convert'' everyone else in the world....is it.#what; like; ''you'd think everyone would be launching an inquisition'' like would you.#even if you know fuckall abt non christian beliefs / perspectives / traditions/practices / identities / ways of life etc....#we could maybe go ahead and question this conclusion. or perhaps go ''but also i know fuckall about all that so why am i theorizing'' like.#and again there are non ''western'' christian traditions....and of course individuals and philosophies within christianity who would also#not think you can only Truly be christian by going ''and i'd better be trying to convert everyone. or i'm being a jerk'' too#not actually the case that everyone thinks everyone else who doesn't share some ''religious'' factor is Damned To Hell or an equivalent....#anyways telling tumblr actually this particular post? isn't for me. and i don't thank you#another tiresome factor of [mass at the benedictine monastery] like the homilies/sermons were especially exhausting#they always were but like ''what are you even talking about'' as one priest goes on about how it's silly for people to say they're#Spiritual but not Religious b/c the only way to be spiritual is to be christian lite & if you're Genuinely even christian lite then you#ought to realize you should go full throttle christian. like a) No b) why are we preaching to the choir here. we're all at Sunday Mass???#not like any sermons ever feel that thoughtful when like too much analysis is like uh oh? a bit heretical are we??? which is not universal.#gee thanks for this [are we just supposed to all sit here feeling validated in our superiority; or...?] experience#wisdom you couldn't totally get from someone going on some self-assured monologue abt heathens these days over dinner or sm shit#really makes you think. and then someone will be really thinking & going ''shouldn't everyone w/a Religion be an Evangelist'' hmm: No.#and they aren't ''wrong'' about their own beliefs approaches perspectives identities traditions etc for it either. Done#anyways changed ''religious parent'' to ''christian parent'' for its own enhanced accuracy & precision alike....
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she's mean, and he loves her for it.
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summary: your peers wonder how the ever-so-annoying gojo satoru can stand being in a relationship with you pairing: sunshine!gojo satoru x grumpy!female reader genre: angst, fluff warnings: none
Masterlist
"Did you guys know Gojo-sensei is dating-" Nobara looks around left and right before whispering your name in fear that you might be around.
"Ehhh?" Yuuji's eyebrows knit together. "No way. She's so scary and he's so...happy."
Nobara agrees, "She never smiles -- kinda looks like she has a permanent frown, too. She scares me."
"You think maybe she intimidated him to date her?"
Megumi watches as his two friends bicker about whether you and Satoru look good together, not realizing that you've heard everything they said. Megumi notices you've arrived to teach them and clears his throat, catching the attention of his two friends. He glances at you to check how you're doing after hearing what they said, but as expected, you remain professional and stoic. But Megumi knows better, he grew up under your and Satoru's wings after all.
"Shit." Nobara and Yuuji mutter under their breaths.
-----
It's fairly common for people to question your relationship with Satoru. He's this... happy-go-lucky guy who annoys everyone except those on the same wavelength as him, while you keep to yourself, prioritizing your alone time, and taking things seriously.
Sometimes, too serious.
You never let it get to you, though, because you don't really care what people say. You and Satoru are happy, that's all that matters. Until recently, when those jerk Kyoto students came over to train, they started talking about you and Satoru.
"She's so serious all the time, I don't understand how Gojo puts up with her."
"I think he's scared to breakup with her."
"I bet she's high maintenance."
"Honestly, why is he with her when he can be with someone who's... not so difficult?"
You grit your teeth at that last comment. You can't tell who said what, but it doesn't matter. Their words got to your head and now you're angry. Angry because you're scared they might be right.
Does Satoru think you're difficult? You're not entirely sure how to show them that yes, you deserve Satoru despite being the dark, grumpy person you are.
Sighing, you decide to go home instead of joining the dinner. Satoru's not in there anyway, he just got back from a mission and is waiting for you at home.
Once you close the door to your apartment, you immediately feel Satoru's arm envelope around you from behind. He smells like fresh mint -- just got out of the shower.
"Hi darling," he kisses your cheek.
"Hi, Toru." You take your shoes off and give him a quick peck before making your way to the bedroom to put your stuff down.
Satoru watches you slowly, "hm, aren't you supposed to have that dinner with the Kyoto students today?"
Your jaw clenches, taking a second before shrugging. "Decided to skip it. I'm tired."
He just hums, "In that case, you wanna watch Bridgerton with me after your shower?"
"Again?" You groan, "Isn't it like the third time you've watched it?"
"Yes, and?"
"I'll skip, thanks."
He blows a raspberry and leaves you to shower while he lays down on the couch to watch Anthony Bridgerton fall in love with his Kate Sheffield.
While you were in the shower, the words kept coming back to you. Somehow more exaggerated. You're difficult. He doesn't like you. He's just tolerating you. Why would he be with someone who doesn't even smile? Look at him, Gojo is the epitome of sunshine. You're nothing like him. Why would he like you?
Groaning, you let the hot water wash away your thoughts -- though they don't really go away. Maybe you should just try to be nicer to Satoru, be more cheerful.
After your shower, you see him lying down on the couch while watching his show, and you sit on the other end, silently dreading having to watch the same show again. But you're doing this for Satoru, so you will.
With a satisfied grin, Satoru saunters over and lies down on top of you, his head resting on your chest. You smile softly, enjoying the tight grip he has on you and his soft hair between your fingers.
"How was the mission?" You ask, "Did you have to go to Shoko?"
Satoru shakes his head, "Sweetheart, it's me we're talking about here."
"You can still get hurt, Toru." You pat his hair gently, "I've seen you bleed."
"I'm always careful. Don't worry." He kisses your hand.
You sigh softly. You know Satoru is always careful, it's just that he always goes on missions alone, and more often nowadays that it makes you worry. Yes, he's the strongest, but you never want to take that for granted.
"Toru," You call him again, a little hesitant, "You know I love you, right?"
He lifts his head from your chest, staring at you with those big blue eyes. "Of course. And I love you. So much."
He kisses you deeply, now switching positions so you're lying down on top of him. "So do you want to talk about it?"
"No.." You mumble. Of course, Satoru knows. He isn't stupid. He can sense when something's wrong with you, just like how you can feel the scar on his hip that wasn't there before. He did go to Shoko.
But none of you say anything. You just hold each other tighter that night. It's more than enough.
-----
Satoru is on another mission. It's supposed to be easy, at least that's what he said 3 days ago. You haven't heard from him at all in 3 days and you're beginning to worry. Your frown is deeper than usual, you sigh more often, and your fuse is shorter.
Everyone's more scared of you.
You let the kids take a break while you try to collect your thoughts. You can't be seen so distracted, not when Satoru left you in charge of them.
"You doing okay?" You hear Megumi's voice approach you.
Blinking away the tears that almost fell, you turn around to face him. "I'm fine, Megs."
"I told you not to call me that..." He sulks as he stands next to you, leaning against the wall. He can see you're distraught, and growing up with you, there's only been a handful of times he's seen you like this.
"You know he's going to be fine, right?"
You sigh. "I'm just worried."
You remember once when Satoru didn't come back for a week. He couldn't be reached, no one could track him down, and you were just at home, taking care of Megumi. The boy's more like you than Satoru, he's not exactly sensitive or cheery. But he knows when you're feeling sad, so he'd stay up with you, praying for Satoru's safety.
"Guys!" Yuuji runs towards you and Megumi.
"What is it, Yuuji?"
"It's Gojo-sensei-" He pants, "He's back!"
You run as fast as you can with Yuuji and Megumi, and you can finally see your white-haired, blue-eyed boyfriend limping his way back to the school grounds.
He raises his hand and waves to you with a big smile despite struggling to walk. "Tsk-" You frown even more, feeling the tears pooling again as you walk towards him and catch him in an embrace.
"Umph-" He groans. "Hi, baby."
You let go of him and check his injuries -- he's healed most of it himself, thank goodness, but the bruises are still there. "We need to go to Shoko-"
"Mm, that can wait." He pulls you to sit down on the soft grass, hugging you once again. "It's okay, I'm here now."
You choke on your own sobs and hug him tighter, sitting between his legs and burying your head in his chest. "You idiot."
"'M sorry for makin' you worry," he smiles gently, leaving kisses all over your face.
As you cup his face in your hands, you're suddenly very aware of the 3 pairs of eyes staring at you both. Noticing it too, Satoru covers your red, embarrassed face. "Okay, nothing to see here. Go.. do something. Scram. Skedaddle."
Once the kids are gone, he chuckles and thinks you're being really cute. "They're gone, sweets."
You glare at his teasing smile.
Satoru wipes away your tears, kissing your frown away. "What took you so long?" You ask after kissing him deeply, not letting him go.
A smirk lingers on Satoru's lips. "I took a detour to Kyoto after the mission to teach some kids a lesson."
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kindnessoverperfection · 11 months
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Please, if you can, take a moment to read and share this because I feel like I'm screaming underwater.
NPD (Narcissistic Personality Disorder) stigma is rampant right now, and seems to be getting progressively worse. Everyone is using it as a buzzword in the worst ways possible, spreading misinformation and hatred against a real disorder.
I could go on a long time about how this happened, why it's factually incorrect (and what the disorder actually IS), why it's harmful, and the changes I'd like to see. But to keep this concise, I'll simply link to a few posts under the cut for further reading.
The point of this post is a plea. Please help stop the spread of stigma. Even in mental health communities, even around others with personality disorders, in neurodivergent "safe" spaces, other communities I thought people would be supportive in (e.g. trans support groups, progressive spaces in general), it keeps coming up. So I'm willing to bet that a lot of people on this site need to see this.
Because it's so hard to exist in this world.
My disorder already makes me feel as if I'm worthless and unlovable, like there's something inherently wrong and damaged about me. And it's so much harder to fight that and heal when my daily life consists of:
Laughing and spending time with my friends, doing my utmost best to connect and stay present and focused on them, trying to let my guards down and be real and believe I'm lovable- when suddenly they throw out the word "narcissist" to describe horrible people or someone they hate, or the conversation turns to how evil "people with narcissistic personality disorder" are. (Seriously, you don't know which of your friends might have NPD and feels like shit when you say those things & now knows that you'd hate them if you knew.)
Trying to look up "mental health positivity for people with npd", "mental health positivity cluster bs", only to find a) none of that, and b) more of the same old vile shit that makes me feel terrible about myself.
Having a hard time (which is constant at this point) and trying to look up resources for myself, only to again, find the same stigma. And no resources.
Not having any clue how to help myself, because even the mental health field is spitting so much vitriol at people with DISORDERS (who they're supposed to be helping!) that there's no solid research or therapy programs for people like me.
Losing close friends when they find out, despite us having had a good relationship before, and them KNOWING me and knowing that I'm not like the trending image of pwNPD. Because now they only see me through the lens of stigma and misinformation.
Hearing the same stigma come up literally wherever I go. Clubs. Meetings. Any online space. At the bus stop. At the mall. At a restaurant. At work. Buzzword of the year that everyone loooves loudly throwing around with their friends or over the phone. Feels awesome for me, makes my day so much better/s
I could go on for a long time, but I'm scared no one will read/rb this if it gets too much longer.
So please. Stop using the word "narcissist" as a synonym for "abusive".
Stop bringing up people you hate who you believe to have NPD because of a stigmatizing article full of misinformation whenever someone with actual NPD opens their mouth. (Imagine if people did that with any other disorder! "Hey, I'm autistic." "Oh... my old roommate screamed at me whenever I made noise around him, and didn't understand my needs, which seems like sensory overload and difficulty with social cues. He was definitely autistic. But as long as you're self-aware and always restraining your innate desire to be an abusive asshole, you're okay I guess, maybe." ...See how offensive and ignorant that is?)
Stop preventing healthcare for people with a disorder just because it's trendy to use us as a scapegoat.
If you got this far, thank you for reading, and please share this if you can. Further reading is under the cut.
NPD Criteria, re-written by someone who actually has NPD
Stigma in the DSM
Common perception of the DSM criteria vs how someone may actually experience them (Keep in mind that this is the way I personally experience these symptoms, and that presentation can vary a lot between individuals)
"Idk, the stigma is right though, because I've known a lot of people with NPD who are jerks, so I'm going to continue to support the blockage of treatment for this condition."
(All of these were written by me, because I didn't want to link to other folks' posts without permission, but if you want to add your own links in reblogs or replies please feel free <3)
#actuallynpd#signal boost#actuallyautistic#mental health awareness#narcissistic personality disorder#people also need to realize that mental health professionals aren't immune from bias#(it really shouldn't come as a shock that the mental health field has a longstanding pattern of misunderstanding and mistreating ppl who ar#mentally ill or otherwise ND)#the first therapist i brought up NPD to like. literally pulled out the DSM bc she could barely remember the criteria. then said that there'#no way I have it because I have low self-esteem lmaoooooo#anyway throwback to being at work and chatting with a co-worker. and the conversation turning to mental health. and him saying that#he tries to stay informed and be aware and supportive of mental health conditions & that he doesn't want to be ignorant or spread harmful#misinformation. and then i mentioned that i do a lot of research into mental health stuff and i listed a bunch of things. which included#several personality disorders. one of which was NPD.#and after listening to my whole ass list he zeroed in on the NPD and immediately started talking about how narcissists are abusive and#he knew someone who had NPD and how the person who had it had an addiction and died from the addiction in a horrible way and he#was glad he did#fun times#or when i decided to be vulnerable and talk abt my self-criticism/self-hatred bc i knew my friends also struggled w that and i wanted to#support them by sharing my own coping methods. and they both(separately!) started picking and prodding at my npd through the lens of stigma#bc i'd recently opened up to them abt having it. they recognized self-hatred as a symptom and still jumped on me for it. despite me#trying to share hurt vulnerable parts of myself to help them and connect with them.#again..... fun times
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