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am-i-the-asshole-official · 4 months

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AITA for ditching a long-term friend?

I (35F) had a friend (S, 33F) for years. We bonded the first night we met. We had ups an downs, and went everywhere together. I helped her kick her bf out after he tried to hit her and helped her through two miscarriages. She helped me through a family member death and a career change. We would speak almost every day, for hours.

She was always slightly more conservative than me. When 2016 rolled around, she supported Trump. I didn't like that, but it wasn't my place to bitch about it to her, it was her decision.

By 2020, she'd changed. Idk how it happened but she went from slightly conservative Christian who loved school and being a nurse and had friends who were LGBT+ (myself included), to deadnaming trans patients, refusing to do a blood draw on a patient after she said it was a prerequisite for an abortion, forcing patients to pray with her, even when they and their families spoke out against it, and bugging her coworkers to pray with her. She got fired from the hospital and was completely unable to hold down a job after that, and went through about 6 jobs that year, getting fired from them all. She got with a guy (B, 32M) and he is a... Well, he is a damn nut. Flat earther, antivaxxer, anti- Department of Education, anti-cell phone, thought bluetooth was turning kids trans, and that covid is 100% a hoax. Absolutely bonkers. But she was smitten, so I supported her, barely.

It's important to note that I backed away from her a bit after she was fired from the hospital. We were only speaking once every few weeks at that point.

Shortly after she got with B, my nephew was born. My nephew is half Mexican, half white. She called him "cute for a half n*g" because she thought my SIL is black. This blew me away because she's half Mexican. I told her off and distanced myself even further.

In 2021, she was a huge supporter of Jan 6th. She LAUGHED when that one cop killed himself. I stopped talking to her completely after that. Deleted her contact info and forgot she existed for almost 2 years.

Cut to October of this year, and she calls me. I didn't recognize her #. She and B are getting married! And she wants me to be a bridesmaid!!! Yayy! (sarcasm). She told me a long-winded variation of "I know we haven't talked for a bit but I promise I'm not as bonkers as I was, I think I let Facebook suck me in, and I'm sorry."

So, I let her back in. Not emotionally, mind you. She's not the woman I once knew anymore. I don't tell her where our house is (my partner and I moved while S and I weren't speaking), and I didn't tell her what car I drove. I didn't tell her anything about our lives, and kept the conversation solely on her, to try and read her out a bit.

Sure enough, two conversations in she starts ranting about how black people are black because they received the mark of Cain (it's a Christian thing? I guess? Idk I'm not religious) and thus should be avoided because they are inherently "up to no good," and that systemic racism doesn't exist because the US has had a black president.

I roll my eyes, hang up the phone, block her number, and end it, permanently, right there. I received a few odd texts from a number I didn't recognize, probably B's phone, so I just blocked that number and deleted them without reading most of them.

Cue our mutual friends. 🙄

She misses you! People can have differing opinions and still be friends! Why are you being so closed minded? She told us you yelled at her! 😭😭😭

Lol. I didn't say a word, but whatever.

I'd rather adjust my life to her absence than adjust my morality to her ignorance.

My partner is on my side, they saw her change, too. But our mutual friends are still upset. I shared some the racist and sexist text convos between me and S, and it's like they hadn't even considered my side of the situation. One is on my side now, the other two are still questioning how I can throw away a 6 year friendship over "differing politics."

So, Tumblr, AITA?

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole #suicide cw #slur cw

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generalluxun · 6 months

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Hey. Asking about how Chloe was abused. My knowldge of abuse is fairly limited to general pop knowledge so I'm curious as to what abuse was done to her.

Okay caveats first:

I am not a medical professional, I am simply someone with a vested interest in the topic who has done more research than the average person.

There are many definitions of abuse. Legal definitions are rarely useful, as they are limited to concrete, provable, gross violations. Just as you can inflict a lot of pain on someone without leaving the marks to prove assault, you can do a lot of damage to a child without it being legally 'provable'. Medical definitions are much more helpful for discussions.

Lastly some level of extrapolation is required as it is a show. We take what we are shown. For example:We actually only have Felix's word that he was ever abused, and his first character traits sre being deceitful and manipulative. We still take his word though, because it's a show. (And also we should give weight to victim accounts!)

So both parents are guilty in different ways. We will start with Audrey, the simpler one. There's clear verbal and emotional abuse demonstrated on screen. Mis-naming your child is a form of abuse:please ask the trans community about the impact of deadnaming even in full grown adults.

Beyond that she is constantly dismissive and belittling of her child- to the exclusion of all else. Style Queen/Queen Wasp is rife with examples. There is also the clear behavior shift in Chloé. The wheeling, approval seeking, hunched posture expecting rejection. This is a *pattern* not a one off. Audrey may live in NY, but no fashion movil would be away from Paris for 13yrs straight. We are simply seeing the most recent interaction. This culminates im a child having to ask 'Why don't you love me mother?' and the response is telling

Audrey barely chokes out the strange word when trying to contradict the question. It takes Marinette literally making them both mad at her to get a bare minimum of interaction on Audrey's part. It doesn't last though. Audrey falls back into her negation behaviors and is now present to inflict them more regularly on Chloé, while also being a constant target for/model of behavior for Chloé. (Seriously it was such a misstep to write Marinette reuniting a victim with an abuser) We know the show itself considers Audrey'ss care as a bad thing because the original script had André divorcing her and takin Zoé because Zoé 'doesn't deserve you' so Chloé being in an abusive parenting situation in Representation is supposed to be 'punishment'(ewww)

André is not off the hook either. People look at him 'spoiling' her and leave it at that. Well, 'spoiling' can in fact be abusive too. Let's look at what we see:

André has been her primary caregiver for 14 years now, so he has had the most responsibility in molding what we see for good or bad(mostly bad). She does learn from him too. Darkblade she proudly announces she learned everything about winning elections from watching her father. He's also excessively arrogant (I'm the symbol of Paris!) and quite willing to abuse his power for his own ends(having Roger round up protestors etc) which explains where Chloé learned where power is to be abused.

André is also extremely neglectful as a parent, extreeeeemely. Let's hit a bunch of points in the order they come to me.

Chloé lives *alone* in a hotel suite. There's no shared space, no family area. It's not even really her room. It's commercial, sterile. Where sre her hobbies? Posters? Even her *colors*? She is so used to being ignored at home that the girl who is loud as heck everywhere else doesn't make a single mark on her living space.

A hotel employee seems to think he needs to step in to raise Chloé. Let that sink in. An employee can see how bad it is and tried to make some kind of change, (he's working against a lifetime of ingrained behavior and is not very good at it himself). He doesn't even think to you know... Get Andre in to do this.

André was unaware or didn't care his daughter hasn't done schoolwork since Sabrina *learned to write*(5/6 yrs old) that is a shocking level of disinterest in your child. 6yr olds aren't criminal masterminds.

Andre supplants actual attention and affection with *stuff* he gives material possessions in *place* of parenting. This is somewhat similar to spoiling but not the same. André's method denies the child something vital. You see- things aren't a substitute for affection/attention, developmentally. And so while they may delight they never satisfy the need. They never validate the emotional attachment. So after the shine wears off, the hole is still there. So, like someone with an addiction, the child needs more, and more, and more. Since the needs are never met, it is never enough. And this is what the child views as *normal* this is simply *how it is*. They rarely know they are being given inadequate care because it's just life to them. Seeing something different in a one off doesn't make a dent vs a whole life.

This sort of thing makes a potent cocktail when mixed with the abandonment issues from her mother too. See- if her mother left, and daddy doesn't pay attention, anyone can leave. This leads to a cycle of pushing/demanding/hurting. The child expects to be left and let down, so they both try to reassure themselves it won't happen, and *make* it happen on their own terms (because they believe deep down it will) so more outrageous demands, because when those demands are met, it shows that you are still 'loved' and when they are not met, then there you go, you are not loved and they will leave you. It's a self-destructive spiral.

You see it play out with her interactions with her classmates and Sabrina specifically. How does she express affection? Gifts. What does she do? Push. Push and push and find the breaking point because if she can make Sabrina actually leave then it shows that she herself is worthless and her mother was right to leave her and her father is right to ignore her. Pretty messed up right? Yeah. Child abuse does horrible things to kids.

We're not done with André yet. Some people might say 'he expresses love for Chloé!' and to that I say- performatively.

André likes the idea of being a father. It's what respectable people do. It looks good on camera. It's someone to love him unconditionally. It's an ally against his wife.(broken home dynamics are horrible too) André just doesn't like having to parent for more than a snapshot.

We can see his interactions with Zoé highlight this too. He's delighted she's here!(a potential person on his side vs his wife and daughter) what's his first parenting advice? 'lock your dreams away and get on with life' A+ André.

What's he do in Queen Banana? He uses his power to let Chloé manipulate the movie *kicking Zoé out of it* This is the guy who is supposed to be supporting her? He only draws the line when it comes to sending Zoé away... Why? He doesn't want to lose an 'ally'. It's power dynamics. Not parenting. Where was he when Zoé was stuck in boarding school? He was going to keep Zoé in the divorce so clearly Mr Lee isn't in the picture, Audrey probably forgot Zoé existed, why didn't André bring Zoé to France and let the sisters grow up together? Oh, right, that might be work.

André likes Zoé because she comes pre-raised(boarding school was probably better than either parent) he doesn't have to put in work and he gets a free good kid to make him look like a father. She's his 'do over' as he throws the one he raised in the trash.

André shows his true colors when he's lamenting to Gabe about his corruption and abuse and blames ot on his 'heartless daughter' you know... The child he raised. The grown man is actually shoving his own corruption and misdeeds onto his child. You really don't need much more than that.

So, via neglect, verbal abuse, and emotional abuse the Bourgeois parents raised an incredibly messed up child. Chloé is not a 'good victim' like Adrien, she doesn't sulk quietly under abuse. She lashes out. She is hurt and angry and she passes the pain on. This is why they call it the cycle of abuse.

The end of Revolution illustrates this perfectly. Audrey throws verbal abuse at her on the plane. Angry that Chloé embarrassed her(not that she did wrong, Audrey loved the power grab) and calls her a loser by implication. You *see* it hit, the physical cringe. Then Chloé immedietely goes to try and pass on the pain. She is hurt and making someone else hurt is the only way to lessen it. She calls Marinette. Marinette breaks the cycle though, and good for her. But the show seems to have forgotten there's still one hurt child in this scene, and it doesn't seem to care.

I'm going to stop here for now. I probably left a bunch out, but I do have other things I need to do. Feel free to ask more questions. Thanks for taking the time to seek answers.

#ask #chloé bourgeois #child abuse is never okay #child abuse is not justice #andre bourgeois #audrey bourgeois #zoe lee #miraculous ladybug

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wolame-o-ccx · 8 months

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Hey there! Just discovered your blog and your TOH AUs and look SO interesting but I can't find any easy way to get through your comics in order (or where to begin, what each AU is about etc)

Is there a post with a summary or some link for the chronological order I may have missed?

And if you're taking suggestions, a pinned post with all the info would be great to help newcomers like me get into it!

Thank you for your time!

Hellooo!!! Yeah welcome to this side of the toh fandom - my space is especially unorganized 😭 I'll take up the idea to make a post summary!! For now I'll just state them here for you while that's in progress :3

For any other newcomers, this post might help you! Click more if you're interested :)

- PITMDAU (Philip In The Modern AU)

MASTERPOST LINK !! CLICK HERE!!

This AU is just what you think! Philip in the modern AU :)

Just to quickly brief you on how this happened ;

Philip managed to escape the demon realm ahead of the hexsquad but passed out straight after he went through the portal. Hexsquad finds him and decides to bring him home, because better a watchful eye than a risk or mystery right? He woke up two days later confused and even tried to kill someone but didn't work and he passed out again and then he woke up another day later less aggravated.

Quick note! This Philip is a little less bad than canon but can still be considered a bad guy :3

For a whole month it was awkward living with him and he barely ate anything but Hunter did give him leftovers. After a month of adjusting to their situation, (and seeing that he doesn't seem to have any intention of violence) Luz starts teaching him modern day technology along with the rest of the Hexsquad!

Or TL;DR : old man confused about the modern day

Final notes!!

• There is a spin off to the AU, which is Gamer Grandpa where, Philip has a Twitch channel and streams and you can ask him questions! (I have not been answering them 😭 don't pressure me but I'm genuinely sorry 😭🌹)

• There are also crossovers with my other AU, SCAU (scroll down to read about that!) And also future canon!! :3

• Philip eats glyphs and hexes holdem cards to keep his curse at bay! :) no palisman sacrificing!! No siree! Don't argue with me on this! Its canon! /lhj

• Also Caleb is there too to mess with Pip giggles

- SCAU (Sharing Caleb AU)

MASTERPOST LINK!!! CLICK HERE!!

Sharing Caleb AU is an AU wherein Philip and Evelyn, well, share Caleb! Nothing went horribly wrong, Caleb didn't get killed by Philip and so on. But wait! Its more complex than you think!

In the masterpost and the first few links to the first few comics you'll see, I'd like to note that they were posted before what canon SCAU is now so Philip didn't find Caleb (and Evelyn) in his 20s or so, but when he was 8! Philip stumbled upon Evelyn in the forest rambling about Caleb after a month of wandering around alone in the BI and she takes him home and Caleb gets a beating /lhj

They then at some point find the starchild The Collector in the woods (again lol) somewhere and bring him home — Caleb adopts him, inevitably creating the Witteclaw Siblings (TC&Pip) (the chaos bringers) (Witteclaw are their parents) <3 (also we call him Enzo instead of TC it's like their deadname lol)

Final notes!!

• Philip is a WHOLE LOT more tame than canon, he's in fact even a whole nother person (he was still racist for a bit but he grew out of that)

• Philip is a mama's boy as we like to call him here :3

• This AU had a crossover with PITMDAU, as you'd know!

→ following that crossover, surfaces Pipson! A slash mlm ship between Pip and Jason, a character I made as a joke originally from PITMDAU. Jason, you'll find similar to a certain um.. god.. is a human, orphaned and has a younger sibling (I self inserted myself but I promise I'm nowhere to be seen, it's just like one brief mention once) (Me and Jason because I share the same birthday as Jesus lol)

• There's also already a future SCAU timeline but so far only glimpses :) it's still in the works as I try to make Hunter exist somehow.

• Philip still gets his curse thingy! Except! He carved glyphs into his arms thinking he would be able to open the door to the human realm (obviously, didn't work) and he's now immortal and in pain and needs to drink elixirs and eat glyphs.

EDIT : FORGOT TO ADD BELPAPA AU (don't send me hate pls ☺️🌹)

- BELPAPA AU

FUCKING CRIES it's a .. it's.. it's um.. it's a. Au where.. Philip and Papa Titan fall in love ... No there's no masterpost but if you click on the tag.. belpapa au .. you can find the comics.. very ez navigation I posted like 5 comics of these only so.. um.. um.. 😭😭😭 HEAR ME OUR HEAR ME OUT!!!1! no I am not elaborating further I will cry

I have not updated the masterposts navigation in a long time, and seeing that my sketchbook is full and I haven't bought a new one, maybe I can find time to arrange them! So bare with me ok :)

EXTRA GENERAL NOTES

The crossovers that happen are NOT CANON to any of the AU stories, else it will just disrupt the story as a whole and I do not have the brain capacity or power to change everything while trying to make it make sense

I mostly won't focus on lore, the crossovers being an exception because that's what it's purpose is and has always been

Most of these comics are for silly fun times!! So have fun!! Or if you don't like it, that's cool!

Feel free to ask anything you want involving AUs and I'll even take suggestions or headcanons you may have! :3 Fanwork is cool and I'm fine with anyone using my art with the condition of crediting so you don't need to ask me!

Don't be shy to interact with my posts! I promise I'm a nice person! I've seen plenty of people being scared to comment, they always tell me they're too shy and I just wanna say guys I don't bite 🌹

There's also a Philip exclusive crossover (very short, only like three posts?) where PITMDAU, SCAU, Canon and Belpapa AU Philips meet eo.. that's all..

#pitmdau #sharing caleb au #belpapa au #masterpost #pipson #asks

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drowninginredink · 3 months

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Consider: trans male Denouement triplets who originally developed the habit of hiding which triplet they were not because they actually wanted to keep their identity secret, but because they hated their deadnames and no one could call them by them if they didn't even know which person it was. By the time they had names they actually liked, they were stuck in the habit.

Also come on, the idea of Frank picking his name and Ernest going "I know the most annoying name I could pick now that would make people confuse us even more." Like I know the Snicketverse has weird names, but those make a lot more sense if they chose them and not their parents. Also like, yes, the librarian absolute chose to name himself Dewey. He didn't just happen to be born with a fitting name.

It would make it easier to hide Dewey, too. "Oh, our third triplet? Well she's cis, so she left the VFD because she couldn't exactly pretend to be us anymore."

This makes way too much sense for an idea I literally only had because I was thinking over a fic in my head and was like "I don't wanna write PIV sex this time. What if I just transed Ernest?"

#a series of unfortunate events #asoue #snicketverse #denouement triplets #frank denouement #ernest denouement #dewey denouement #trans headcanon #trans male headcanon #trans masc headcanon

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gordonzola-ramen · 3 months

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My mutual @alectricblue tagged me in this game tag! I normally dont do these, but I thought it'd be nice to get to know me more (and also meet y'all if you wish to participate)!

It will be long though. Sorry

1. Were you named after anyone?

Was originally gonna be named Andrea after a ballerina my grandma liked! Sadly no one remembered her well, not even grandma, so I don't know much about her.

My deadname was simply just chosen bc it was easy to pronounce, as well as my chosen name Diego (it's what I would've been called had I been male), although when I chose it for myself I liked the JoJo character Diego Brando so there was some correlation there.

Funnily enough, people think I'm nicknamed Lio after the Promare character, but I hadn't met them yet.

2. When was the last time you cried?

Yesterday. At 11pm. Watching OR3O's One Piece song. It was nostalgic ok

3. Do you have kids?

Nope. There's an absurd amount of reasons I don't want them, although not a single one is because I dislike them. I've had to babysit many kids and they've all been very sweet.

4. What sports do you play/have you played?

Oof, my recent sports is taking my dog for a walk. But I used to like volleyball and kickball! And reluctantly played soccer and did swimming! Sports give me a lot of anxiety and i'm not sure why.

5. Do you use sarcasm?

I do a lot of teasing and lighthearted banter that can sometimes be considered sarcasm?

6. What's the first thing you notice about people?

Their eyes! Or anything outstanding like cool hairstyles or visible tattoos.

With online people, I mostly recognize them by pfp or a vague mental pronunciation of their username.

7. What's your eye color?

Dark brown?? Or black??

8. Scary movies or happy endings?

Honestly, whatever makes me think more. Unhappy endings tend to do that more though, so I guess scary movies! But of course it depends on the mood, sometimes I just want a nice story to cheer me up.

9. Any talents?

I've been told I am talented at the piano! And music in general, although most of my skills feel less like talent and more like just studying the thing.

10. Where were you born?

So I was born in the US, in Florida, but my entire family is from Costa Rica and I just happened to be born while my parents were studying abroad. I don't remember much from the US though, I came back to CR with my grandma in my first months because she was less busy than my parents, and then they came to live here again. So in my eyes I've been a true Costa Rican since always hehe

11. What are your hobbies?

Playing the piano! Also drawing sometimes (I like to color more than draw, but unless I get my hands on a coloring book I can't do that unless I draw), playing videogames (mostly RPGs and visual novels), and doomscrolling.

12. Do you have any pets?

YESSSS my beloved dog Mia!!!!!!!!!!! I love her so much, she escaped her abusive home and we found her while walking around a plaza, said hi, and she followed us home. She's been with us for 8 years now and I adore her. Reference below because how can I not show her off:

13. How tall are you?

Excellent question. I forgot but I'm average if that helps!

14. Favorite subject in school?

It changed over the years, in senior year it was English because we had my favorite teacher! I knew him for years because he has a literature club I partook in, so I was very happy to have classes with him. Plus, we saw the Oresteia, which goes tremendously hard especially when your teacher geeks out about all the symbolisms.

Apart from that, computer class! We barely ever had it, and almost had it cut out entirely in senior year, but the few times we did I really enjoyed programming and practicing typing! And when we didn't do anything we could play so.

15. Dream job?

I want to make my own videogame! So I'd say a game developer, although being a part of any videogame, especially RPGs, would be a dream come true.

Well thank you for reading, I hope that was some insight, it was very fun to reply!

Tagging section (no pressure to do it at all, you can also do it if you're not tagged who cares)

@skyllion-uwu @thefrogswhospoke @gorgeousuare @chronologicalimplosion @fishy-lilic @smoothedsmoothie @mx-mind @montied @aspirationatwork @jhofoyitchg @derkhue @mellomaia @federalfazbear @mcfinnigan @mutantsgurls @foxounderscorecube @sweetnessfollowsmp3 @mildredtefoneck @oh-my-stars1969 @unfullbucket @fluffnfuzzxoxo @electriceel69 @scottigyn @stressedsilverware @sapphicrobotenjoer @antjellies @milk1non-tolarantes @ovalbrain @chocokhaos @markdiegamer @astralix13 @atheist-xmas @blktomekurata @monstar-dreams @glass-duke @c--eam @laooneart

#ask game #tag game #gordonzola's corner #image described in alt

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tvbyw0by · 3 months

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BSD Armed detective agency with a 13 year old reader who comes out as transgender,

MTF version

(FTM VERSION NEXT MAYBE)

Warnings: Deadnaming(accidentally), transphobia(you confess how your bio parents kicked you out.)

[NAME POV]

I walked down the streets, shivering against the winter air..

My teeth chattered as I tried to make my way fast towards the armed detective agency, where I work part time..

After awhile, I made it there, slamming open the door, not even surprised that there was no one here considering it was 2am..

My lips turned into a frown as I closed the door, now hurrying towards the couch,

Immediately I cuddled against the warm blanket that sat there, my heart hurting as I thought of the previous events.

Earlier, I had decided to finally come out to my very, VERY religious family,

Born a boy, destined to be a girl, is what I thought.

My body, it just.. I don't feel like a boy, and it makes me extremely uncomfortable to even be identified as a boy in any shape or form,

And so, me, a teenager now sat on the couch of my workplace, at 2am due to being kicked out by my biological parents.

I didn't know how long I stayed there on the couch, as all of a sudden I heard the door open, my gaze glancing up at the president standing there, glancing at me with a slightly confused expression,

"[DEAD.NAME], what are you doing here?"

I grimaced slightly at the mention of my dead name, before I shrugged, burying my face back in the couch as I avoided his gaze, unsure of what to say,,

Fukuzawas eyebrows furrowed as he stared, before he let out a loud sigh, closing the door and deciding to just sit down,

I looked at him as he sat down next to me, and soon enough tears grew in my eyes, and his eyes widened slightly, usually I was always so.. upbeat and happy, never has anyone ever seen me cry,

He pulled me into a hug, hesitantly I hugged back, now quietly sobbing as the events truly began to take a toll on me,

"Shh... Its okay,"

My eyes fluttered open as I glanced around, confused, I laid on a couch in the office, realizing I had fallen asleep,

"Ahh.. [DEAD.NAME], you're finally awake!!"

Dazai waved excitedly at me as I awoke, I once again grimaced as I realized he called me .. that name.

"[DEAD.NAME],"

Fukuzawas deep voice called out for me as I glanced at him, just now realizing everyone was looking at me, my eyebrows furrowed as I now sat up, still staying on the couch,

"Why were you here so early this morning?"

I frowned, unsure of how to respond to fukuzawa, suddenly I felt the couch sink down next to me, glancing at ranpo who now sat next to me,

"I didn't tell them anything, thats your place kid,"

He whispered it to me, and I wasn't even surprised he knew, I furrowed my eyebrows before looking at the others,

Some were giving me comforting smiles, others were just staring at me..

"I---" And without pausing, I suddenly broke down, sharing everything that had happened fastly, not making eye contact with everyone as some had furrowed eyebrows, some angry at my parents, some upset and feeling bad for me,

"..and my names [name.].." I confidently confessed my preferred name,

After hearing your story, yosano decided to let you live with her, deciding since she herself was a girl, she would help you with your transition

Everyone called you by [name] after that, and used your correct pronouns & gender when referring to you!

Sometimes, yosano & naomi alongside you have girl-days out where they help you find the style you feel most comfortable with

Kunikida, who views you as a little sister, decided to buy a whole bunch of books and read about transgender, learning facts and stuff that may help you with your journey

Fukuzawa signed you up for a type of voice therapy specifically for transgender people, to make your voice higher !

Whenever someone misgenders you(outside of the agency), dazai always gives them the most DEADLIEST smile ever, and ranpo gives them that fucking green eyed GLARE that makes everyone die from being to scared

I HC that tanizaki knows how to do hair, so whenever your hair grows longer, he always has hair supplies on him to do your hair

The first time you wore a type of dress, (imagine one of those cute dresses that go down to like between ankles and knees.)

Everyone made sure you felt comfortable in public wearing the dress, and whenever someone gave you a weird look...

Atsushi would bare his teeth at them like.. growling (furry but its okay)

Kyoka would threaten them without using words, she would like slowly grab out a knife until you look over all confused

After you actually told them your parents kicked you out..

Lets just say Dazai called up some people and went to their house

They went missing the next day.

Hope you liked it...‼️

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izzy-b-hands · 2 months

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15 QUESTIONS FOR 15 FRIENDS

Tagged by @sherlockig, thank u Alexz!!

Under the cut bc I got wordy and rambly as per usual lol.

ARE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE?

Kind of? In that I more or less named myself after Izzy from our flag lol. Not that I'm going to tell everyone I meet that, but it is a big part of why I stuck with it after trying it out (that, and I've always wanted a name that had the letter zed in it, silly as that may seem.)

One of my middle names (that I had been using as a first name for a few years) is after my grandfather and aunt who also have that name as their middle name.

My deadname was after an actress famous in the 90s (tho tbh my mum apparently didn't choose it for that, she chose it bc she didn't find out my gender until I was Out and then was like 'aw fuck I don't have a name for this situation' and went with the first one she saw in a book of names a nurse gave her. It was only after that she remembered the actress when I was like. 4. that she changed and started telling ppl it was after that instead.)

And technically Holden is after the book character, but mum never actually read that book (and after I described it to her, said she has no interest in doing so lmao), she just liked how the name sounded and that was the one solitary name she for sure had on hand when I was born apparently. Could have saved us all time had she just used that one for me anyway!

2. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED?

Couple of nights ago. I'm doing better abt missing my cat Nisha, but my phone will toss up compilations of pics of her to mark the year/month/etc and sometimes those still get me. It popped up just before I went to bed that night and I was already so tired that I just. broke down. Bc I know she's v loved and looked after w/my mum, but I do miss her goofy lil self a lot. She was my first cat that was given to me and meant to be mine alone, and there's something abt that first pet bond I guess.

3. DO YOU HAVE KIDS?

Nope, and it's not a likely thing for me. I've said before that that happening would be in a very specific situation, wherein I'm with someone who wants to dedicate the rest of our lives to raising a child, or god forbid more than one, tho I think I'd max out at two if I managed one at all tbh (and that's not even getting into the very complex for me thing of would I want to actually be pregnant ever (probably not, absolutely terrified of dying in childbirth and don't see myself getting over that easily), we have the funds to make that happen (and give the kid a good life, not just a decent one or 'could have been worse' like my own), and we feel stable mentally, emotionally, and physically (as much as one can outside of Life Happening of course) bc having a kid means putting allll of that first for them, ahead of yourself. Or at least I think it should mean that lol.

But that situation is incredibly unlikely considering my bigger goal in life is to wind up being a third for multiple couples while also fucking any of my friends who are down for it in a big poly ENM sort of thing for lack of better/more detailed definition (I know it sounds unrealistic and maybe it is to a degree, almost definitely is lol.)

I can admit I just. don't want to uproot the life I've been trying so hard to build for myself in so many ways, to have kids. I'll happily help babysit the kids of any friends tho and be the fun uncle that buys them junk food and lets them stay up late to watch movies. I think that's about the level of parenting of any kind that I can handle for now (also tbh I burned out on parenting bc my family admits they parentified the fuck outta me with my three younger cousins. It by far could have been worse, but I spent my teens spending most of my days after school helping look after them from the newborn years and on. Unless my above uber specific scenario happens, then I've probably had my fill of parenting for my lifetime.)

4. WHAT SPORTS DO YOU PLAY/HAVE YOU PLAYED?

I played volleyball for a few years in elementary school, and we were made to participate in a multi-school track and field thing for most of middle school every year, but I was never amazing at them. Housemate and I have figured out I likely have undiagnosed asthma tho (turns out running or going out in too cold or hot weather shouldn't instantly make you gasp, struggle to breathe, and make you taste iron in your mouth, who the fuck knew? Not me, genuinely) so I think that might have a lot to do with it.

I also enjoy tennis and badminton and would love to try rugby, but I've never played any of those beyond a hobby with family/friends.

5. DO YOU USE SARCASM?

I do! Probably too much and not always in the best situations, but I've been working for years to hone when and where it should be used so I think/hope I'm a lot better with it than I was when I was younger. Tho even then, I did get adults who found it funny when I was sarcastic bc of how adult I seemed to a lot of them (their words, not mine lmao.)

6. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE?

I genuinely don't know. Usually I'm too busy running my script for meeting new ppl in my head and trying to maintain Common and Expected Etiquette to really notice much right away. I have found that after a bit of time/after the initial meeting has passed, I tend to notice colours ppl wear more often than others if I see them often enough, or hair colour. But I don't know if it counts towards this question at that point lol.

7. WHAT'S YOUR EYE COLOUR?

Kinda blueish grey? Some ppl say it's too grey to be blue, others that it's too blue to be grey. I had a lady at the ND DOT freak out abt not being sure if I should have blue or grey on my ID a few years back, and she finally just told me to put blue so 'she could stop feeling so confused.' Was a weird day and the first time I realised apparently they really do have a blend of both colours, enough for it to be upsetting lmao.

8. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS?

I can't choose between the two; I like both! I also like mixing them together when I write (a scary story with a happy ending, an ending that seems happy but is actually terrifying, so on and so forth.)

9. ANY TALENTS?

Writing? Maybe, I always list it bc it's something I know how to do and to (usually) do decently well. I can sort of draw? But not well enough that I think 'talented' would be accurate to describe how I draw lol. I'm not sure of anything else off the top of my head tbh.

10. WHERE WERE YOU BORN?

In California, USA! We were there bc dad was in basic training for the Marines and then just got stuck at Camp Pendleton for years lmao (or that's how he always talks abt it anyway lmao.) Only was actually there until either: a. I was 3 months old, b. I was 6 months old or c. I was actually basically still a fresh newborn. Depends on whether you're talking to my dad, mum, or grandparents as to which answer you get, and at this point I'm genuinely uncertain as to exactly when mum left and took me to North Dakota but 6 months seems the most potentially accurate lmaooo.

11. WHAT ARE YOUR HOBBIES?

Writing, drawing, reading (not enough but I'm trying to remedy that), napping, watching movies/fave shows, and giffing.

12. DO YOU HAVE ANY PETS?

Kind of? My cat Nisha had to stay in North Dakota after I moved, so my mum and her bf are looking after her now (and got her a little sister, a kitten who is getting so big already!, named Bella.) I help Housemate look after aer two cats as well, and I'd like to think the boys consider me like their fun uncle lol (aka I bend over backwards for them and let them steal my spot on the couch all the time, and will break out the treats if needed to corral them now and then. In my defense: they are the cutest lil baby boy cats and they deserve the world, even when they're being little gremlins lmao.)

13. HOW TALL ARE YOU?

Approximately somewhere between 5'3 and 5'4ish? I can't recall the last time I was actually measured, and most of the ppl I've been around were somewhere between those heights and I'm usually either slightly shorter or slightly taller than some of them, so??? I put 5'3 on my ID tho lol

14. FAVOURITE SUBJECT IN SCHOOL?

English bc it was easy and I liked almost everything we did in that class. All my general and more specific history courses were a close second, and my foreign language classes a close third.

15. DREAM JOB?

Ideally, I'd love to not have to work. But who wouldn't, so that said, probably something in a library or museum. I'd love to be a library page again, or help work the front desk/docent duties of a museum. Working at someplace like Mystic Seaport would be amazing too; I'd be happy to learn how to help repair/repaint ships that come in or just help do tours or look after artifacts and stuff (tbh they could hire me just to type up any random data entry work they need done for any/all depts and I'd say yes to the job offer lol.) Unfortunately there's fairly significant roadblocks to me achieving any of these jobs rn, but I like to keep them in mind, just in case.

Also, if I can have one dream job that would be even more unlikely and is slightly TMI probably but: paid third for a rich couple. I show up, look nice, [redacted], make sure they're both good for the night, then go back home to Housemate (if it wouldn't be a night they'd want me to stay over, which I wouldn't be against but also. That would require some overtime pay lol.) The chances of this one are...so unlikely it's stupid funny, but a man's allowed to have dreams right lmao?

Tagging (if u guys wanna, no obligation if u don't wanna/have already been tagged/etc!!): @starmoonchildfromthebeamsabove, @freebooter4ever, @willowenigma, @turtleduck-tales, @mash1972, @mysteriouslybluepirate, @turtles-on-turts, @cononeillbreastingboobily, @treesofgreen, @dianetastesmetal, @arsenicflame, @gydima, @king-bussy, @p0ochy, @crvwly, and anyone else following me who wants to!

#text post #ask box things #or adjacent to that at least lol #long post #tagging w/that to be safe bc I am stoned and wordy rn #apolgoies for that and kudos if you read the whole thing lol #I admit im not sure who all has already been tagged so apologies if anyone i tagged has already done this recently fjlsadkfjsla #if u have or if ur just not feeling it pls don't feel obligated!#tbh this is one of the first times in awhile where I had more ppl i wanted to tag than the expected amount and i almost just tagged everyon #but then i was like. hm. ill do the expected fifteen and offer it up to anyone else too in case anyone else feels like doing this!#probably for the best since this post is already so long im so sorry u guys fjkalsfjdsklj

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practically-an-x-man · 3 months

Note

Here's a prompt for you!

"I don't need you to be perfect! Just please, for once in your life, listen to me!"

Oooh I'm thinking Jasper for this one!!

____ Mama

Word Count: 2.5k Content Warnings: heavy argument, abusive parents, transphobia/deadnaming (NOT by Kyle don't worry there)

____

Jasper did not enjoy visits with his mother.

There were the better sides to it - homecooked meals, the familiarity of the house, visiting his friends and neighbors that were all a hair too far from the city to visit regularly. It wasn't as though he wallowed in misery, on those recesses and holidays he spent away from Tulane.

But he didn't enjoy spending time with his mother. There were a lot of reasons why.

"I was thinking maybe I could take some of Dad's old records back with me," Jasper said, posing the question as casually as he could, "I've got a record player in my dorm."

"We have a record player here." his mother said, without even looking up from her novella. Jasper resisted the urge to sigh.

"I know, but-" he started, chewing the inside of his cheek, "I know you don't listen to them, since it's not your kind of music. But I like it. I think it could be nice to listen to when I study."

"Did I not buy you an iPod a few years ago?" she asked, the words undercut with a shiver of dark annoyance. Jasper felt every ripple of it. His mother raised an eyebrow. "Did you break it?"

"You did. And- no, it works fine. But records, um, records have a better sound, y'know? And they remind me of Dad." he continued, tumbling over his words under the weight of his mother's gaze, "I'll leave the country ones, and the CCR and the other ones you like. I just want the heavy stuff. He's got those Metallica records, the originals, and a whole bunch of Linkin Park, and even some stuff that's even heavier than that and I know you aren't listening to those ones anyway-"

"Jasmine Michelle."

Jasper fought hard to bite back his grimace. It never got easier to hear.

"You are not taking your father's records out of this house." his mother continued, her voice and emotions equally icy, "He left them here, and they'll stay here. This is the last time I'm having this discussion with you. And stop cutting your hair so short. You look ridiculous."

Ironic, considering she was sporting a pageboy cut herself. Jasper's buzz cut wasn't much farther removed from that, he thought. But it was harder to pretend he was still Mama's Little Girl when he refused to let his hair grow out, he figured. He wrung his fingers behind his back, squeezing until it hurt.

"I like it cut like this." he argued, fighting hard to summon his voice, "It's... better for derby."

"Is school going well? You're passing all your classes?"

Breezing on ahead. Like she hadn't even heard him. That, too, never got easier.

"Yes, mom." Jasper sighed, "It's going fine. I got an A on my anatomy midterm. My professor said only two percent of students actually manage to ace that-"

"And you've got friends? A boyfriend?"

Kyle's name sprung to his lips, but he bit it down. He didn't want his mother to know about that. It would only lead to more prying questions, which would lead to her wanting Kyle to visit, which would lead to... God knows what else.

"I've got friends," Jasper agreed - not a lie, but not the full truth, "With derby, and with nursing. There's even a- a guy in my history class who's really nice. We've had a couple study dates."

"Good." his mother replied. Her eyes flicked up and down Jasper's figure, and he realized he was shifting on his feet. Another shiver of cold annoyance wormed its way through his chest. Jasper forced himself to freeze, despite the way his body demanded movement. "Am I keeping you from something, Jasmine?"

"Jasper." he muttered under his breath, regretting it the instant it was past his mouth. The cold only deepened. He wanted to shiver.

"What was that?"

Jasper swallowed hard. It wouldn't get any better if he didn't stand up for himself. His mother had never been outright cruel about matters like this - she just didn't care. She didn't speak badly about him, didn't call him slurs or cast him out, but she also didn't make any effort at his name or pronouns. That was why he hadn't bothered correcting her. But if he started now, maybe she'd start to see how important it was do him. At the very least, he was done being walked over.

"It's my name. Jasper." he repeated, a little more strongly. His mother gave him a strange look. Emotions danced in his chest. He couldn't tell what they were, even which ones were his own.

"Your grandmother gave you that name. It's a family name. It belongs to you."

"It's- it's a beautiful name." he stammered, a bit of his confidence waning, "But it's not my name. My name is Jasper."

He could feel irritation beginning to brew, alongside a nebulous sort of confusion. He didn't know what to make of it. He decided to stand his ground.

"Mom, I-"

"Was I not good enough?" his mother blurted. Jasper blinked, confused at the question. His mother sighed - without his sense, he'd have assumed it was disappointment. And it was disappointment... but not towards him. Jasper's mother pressed her lips together, choosing her words. "Did I not raise you right? Should I have raised you as a boy?"

"You didn't know, Mom, it's- it's okay." he tried, "You didn't know, but now you do, and-"

"I'm sorry I wasn't a perfect mother to you. I'm sorry I did something wrong."

Funny how I'm sorry could sound so little like an apology. His mother had always been awfully good at casting blame. Casting blame, claiming all the sympathy in the room for herself, never letting another person speak their mind. It had taken Jasper a very long time to realize other people's parents weren't like that.

The only thing that kept Jasper from wilting was the anger stiffening his muscles. It didn't even need to be an argument. It didn't need to be about her. All it was was his fucking name. Basic decency. He'd thought she could look past her ego for that much.

"I don't need you to be perfect!" he blurted, though he winced at the way his voice cracked. He felt tears rising behind his eyes. "Just- please, for once in your life, listen to me!"

"I just want to understand what happened to my daughter!"

"I'm not your daughter!" he shouted, unable to help himself. Something sharp and surprised, verging on painful, darted through his chest. He could see it written all over his mother's face. Regret flooded him so intensely he almost couldn't breathe. "Mom, that's- that's not what I meant. I'm your child, I'll always be your kid, but I'm- I'm not your daughter."

He didn't know how a simple conversation about his dad's old records had spiraled out of control so fast. His heart beat so heavily he could hear the blood rushing in his ears.

His mother didn't speak. It was worse when she didn't. Finally, she let out a long-suffering sigh.

"Jasmine..."

"Jasper."

"Jasper." she echoed, with something like disdain coloring her voice, "What do you want me to say?"

"I don't..." Jasper mumbled, "I don't know."

Without another word, he turned and left the room.

With tears now freely streaming down his face, Jasper ducked into his dad's old office and sat down on the floor. Boxes of weathered LPs surrounded him, and dust motes caught the sunlight that streamed in from the windows.

He let out a shaking sigh, flipping through the records and watching the album art blur into smears of color past his tears. Really, he knew it was going to end like that. It was how his mother treated a lot of things - anything that didn't perfectly align with how she wanted the world to run, he thought. He'd known from the beginning that there were only two options for that conversation to end: she'd brush it aside, refuse to care, or she would flip it into a plea for sympathy.

But knowing and hoping were never really the same. He wanted things to have turned out right.

As if on some cosmic cue, Jasper's phone buzzed in his pocket. He pulled it out, his glimmer of annoyance melting into something a little softer when he saw Kyle's name on the screen.

How's the visit with your mom? Received 3:44 PM

Jasper huffed out a sharp breath, swiping a hand angrily across his eyes.

Bad Delivered 4:16 PM

Kyle's response came in hardly a moment later, accompanied by a brief flicker of concern behind Jasper's heart.

Want to talk abt it? Received 4:16 PM

No Delivered 4:16 PM

Just wish I was there with you Delivered 4:17 PM

Me too Received 4:17 PM

Jasper's fingers hovered over the keyboard, but he couldn't figure out what to say. Eventually he sighed and gave up, tucking his phone back into his pocket. It buzzed only a minute or two later.

He opened the message and found a picture of a dog - a puppy, either an Australian shepherd or something similar, snapping at a cluster of fallen leaves dropped by a hand just barely in frame. It succeeded in coaxing a smile from him, albeit a faint one.

Neighbors got a new puppy Received 4:19 PM

His name is Ferdinand Received 4:19 PM

The texts were closely followed by a video, slightly warped and blurry from being sent over text, but still clear enough. It showed Ferdinand prancing after a tossed Frisbee, moving in that rambunctious but not-quite-graceful puppy way. Kyle wasn't in the frame, but his voice cheered out from behind the camera.

He's really cute Delivered 4:21 PM

Kyle responded with another picture, this one clearly a flub of what was supposed to be a posed shot. Kyle was crouched beside the dog, one arm around its fluffy back- but Ferdinand had jumped up onto his knee and was stretching to lick his face. The picture showed Kyle mid-laugh, both of them slightly blurry. It got a wider smile from Jasper, and his fingers danced across his phone screen.

Not as cute as you are though Delivered 4:22 PM

He felt a flicker of soda-pop amusement bubble through his chest, accompanied by something warm and comforting. He'd always been grateful for his odd little link with Kyle, but now more than ever. At least he had someone on his side - someone who'd never doubted, never faltered, never questioned even when he still didn't understand.

Jasper let out a low sigh, forcing himself to exhale his lingering emotions. His fingers itched for movement, and he found himself flipping again through the box of old records. He'd seen them all before, knew his well-worn favorites and those he always skipped past. But this time he paused, stalling on the image of a night sky overlaid by a silver longsword. Despite everything, it made him smile. He reached for his phone and snagged a quick picture.

Look what i found in my dad's old records Delivered 4:25 PM

Kyle responded almost immediately, a bloom of warmth filling Jasper's chest just as the message went through.

Toto!! Received 4:25 PM

Give it a listen for me :) Received 4:25 PM

Jasper managed a fragment of a smile. Broken, shattered, but... almost there.

I will Delivered 4:26 PM

He blew dust off the record, flipped it over and scanned the list of songs, anything to occupy his hands or his mind. Jasper briefly glanced at the record player on the bookshelf, just as worn and dusty as the record itself.

No. He'd do one better.

He was taking this one with him. Not all of them, not even the heavy rock he'd promised, just this one. His mother wouldn't even notice the loss. There had to be a hundred records in his dad's collection. Even Jasper couldn't list them all.

She wouldn't even notice it was gone. And Jasper would hang onto a little piece of his dad's heart.

Before he even realized it, his fingers were dancing across his phone again.

Would it be easier if I was a girl? Delivered 4:33 PM

Brief pause. Uncertainty, mild confusion, swirled through Jasper's chest like bubbles in a lava lamp.

Would what be easier? Received 4:33 PM

Us Delivered 4:34 PM

Idk Delivered 4:34 PM

Dating me Delivered 4:34 PM

Another brief pause. Another uneasy drift of confusion, this one tinged with cool blue concern. There was something else there too, something Jasper had learned to identify as longing. Kyle wished he was there, that they could talk face-to-face, that he could mend whatever wrongs he could clearly sense that Jasper was struggling with.

The response went through a moment later.

Are you a girl right now? Received 4:35 PM

No Delivered 4:35 PM

Then no Received 4:35 PM

I like you better when you're being yourself Received 4:35 PM

Jasper almost sighed with relief. There was no waver in Kyle's sincerity. Not that there ever really was. It made things better, though doubt and hatred still prickled across his skin.

But would it be easier Delivered 4:37 PM

There was a longer pause, like Kyle was choosing how to respond. Jasper hardly moved, staring at the phone in his hands and the album in his lap.

Maybe Received 4:39 PM

Technically I guess Received 4:39 PM

But I don't want it to be easier like that. I want you to be happy w who you are. Even if it means we have to deal with bible belt bullshit sometimes. I love you Jazz Received 4:40 PM

Jasper's fingers twitched across the little keyboard, typing out another message.

Are you sure?

But he shook his head and deleted it. He knew Kyle was sure. He could sense it as well and clearly as he could feel his own heartbeat. He couldn't have doubted Kyle if he tried. Sometimes his sense really was a lovely thing.

In the silence that followed as Jasper failed to respond, his phone buzzed again in his hand. He glanced down at it.

And hey just think next year we'll have our own apartment. Won't have to leave on the breaks Received 4:42 PM

Eight more months Jazz Received 4:42 PM

Hang in there Received 4:42 PM

Love you <3 Received 4:43 PM

Jasper forced himself to take in a long breath and let it out, nearly coughing as he inhaled more dust than air. Kyle was right. Just a few more months of this, and then they'd have their own place in the city. A safe place. No more judgement, no more invasive questions, no more abuses of privacy and hands where they didn't belong. They'd both be safe.

Eight more months. A few more weekends, one more holiday break, one more summer. Then it would be just him and Kyle. Then... all of this would be a little easier.

He could make it through eight more months.

I know Delivered 4:45 PM

Hanging in there Delivered 4:45 PM

Love you too <3 Delivered 4:45 PM

#fun fact mama is both an mcr song (for jasper) and a song on toto's first album ;)#my friends!!!#answered asks #my ocs #jasper wilson #my writing #oneshot #ficlet #angst #tw transphobes #tw homophobia #ahs coven #kyle spencer #oc x canon

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trillscienceofficer · 10 months

Note

Do you have any turn offs when it comes to fanfiction? I have some general ones but I also have fandom specific ones (last night I closed three fanfics because the authors called Seven Annika in them)

OUGH that would certainly make me click out of a fic immediately as well! Like unless she's called Annika as a taunt or in a situation where the other person is trying to undermine Seven, I would not consider it acceptable. And even in the cases I mentioned, it's such a tired shortcut at this point. It's literally just deadnaming her. Luckily I haven't encountered much fic that did this, even in older B7 archives, but I had this discussion before and apparently there are some authors who still aren't getting the memo which sucks!

I'm a kinda picky reader, and I have many general turn-offs. I hate marriage as a plot for example, and I don't see much point in plot-less fluff. I hate 'I love you's as well but if i clicked out every time I wouldn't finish much shippy fic at all lol. I have even more that are very Trek-specific! For example, I have many opinions about Trills and their homeworld and I find it hard to read much fic about the topic anymore, although as it always happens with me, if the author is willing to take their readers on a journey I'll probably follow along. And about Seven in particular... sometimes a fic will have her be the Smartest One In The Room™ about any subject, often forgetting about the expertise of the other characters in the story, and that will definitely make me roll my eyes and stop reading. I know Voyager did that with her too sometimes but it's so lazy, not to mention this often happens to undermine the non-white characters around her. I'd much rather read about Seven focusing so much on tiny details that she loses sight of the big picture entirely, which is just as much canon (see “The Omega Directive” and “The Voyager Conspiracy”) and waaay more interesting to me.

#askbox #these are just a few lol sometimes i will click out just because i disagree with the characterization

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northern-passage · 1 year

Note

Are dead names a concept that exists within The Northern Passage?

I wasn't sure if that was the right way to ask that question. I have a She/They Hunter who, by the time the story of TNP starts, has had top-surgery and has taken hormones much in the same way as F!Lea.

Now the name I've chosen for her has a masculine form, and as my Hunter grows in my mind I've now decided that I really like the idea of them adopting it in place of their birth name at some point.

But I didn't know if that's something people do within your setting, which is why I'm asking :) and if it is, I'd love to know how that works for Hunters/Handlers. Would they have to go to someone who is more or less a "records keeper" at the Stronghold and make the change?

i typed out like a massive response to this ask and tumblr cast it off into the void so i am white knuckling my laptop right now aaahhhhhh

but basically, yes and no - i don't think deadnames would exist in the same way. in the real world, there are a lot of negative connotations around deadnames because of transphobia and the fact that deadnames can potentially be weaponized against trans people. but since transphobia doesn't exist in tnp, i think people would feel differently. people do change their names, of course, almost the entire cast has changed their names - Merry, Jackal, Rafe, and Rodrick all changed their names, and Clementine named themself. Lea and Noel are the two that have kept their given names.

but all of them have different feelings about it, and different experiences. this got me thinking about the significance of names, and how they would function in a society that encourages self-reflection & self-discovery. i kind of like the idea of a naming ceremony when someone changes their name. it could be a celebration - a way to show appreciation for the gift they were given, the name that carried them through childhood and into adulthood and to their new name. or maybe more like a funeral, someone casting off a name that was given to them by people that ended up hurting them. it wouldn't just be a ceremony or gesture for trans people, but something that could be practiced by everyone.

as for your question, they do keep records at the stronghold, similarly to how Merry kept records of her crew - name, specialization, where they're from. if someone changed their name and/or transitioned, they would just make a note of it and strike out their old name. though when it comes to going back through and changing every instance of their name throughout various reports and other records, i think that's something that would just vary from person to person. even without transphobia, there are still people that would prefer not to see their old given names for various reasons.

when it comes to the hunter, i have considered adding in an option to tell the game that they changed their name previously, though if i do implement this it won't be for some time still. it will also just function as a yes or no toggle; there's just something about asking the player to type in their character's deadname that doesn't sit right with me, since transphobia does exist in our wold.

thanks for this ask! with tnp being very character focused, i tend to keep a lot of the worldbuilding speculation to myself unless it comes up in game, and the accepting aspect of the world's culture is always interesting to explore and consider how different it could be from ours.

#rip to the even longer answer i originally wrote here #that was a higher power intervening telling me to shut up #ask #anonymous #lore

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hasdrubal-gisco · 1 month

Text

eurovision '24 semifinal 2 early review

content and spoiler warning for albania, armenia, austria, czech republic, denmark, greece, malta, switzerland, belgium estonia, georgia, israel, latvia, the netherlands, norway, san marino, france, italy, spain

albania - opening witha good and strong song. would have been better if it was in albanian, but albania always brings the heat. albanian and serb are brothers because they are son of same bitch (many are saying this !)/10

armenia - absolute banger. singer doesn't have the classic hayastani spade face which must have hard for her growing up. genuinely This is what eurovision is about. may you drop thousand bombs on baku/10

austria - (watching music video) i liked display of aryan man masculine power energy, sweat dripping down his chest. how this make you feel ? song ? generic, forgettable, this will score no points without mr schutzschtaffel flipping tires. you will never regain lost glory/10

czech republic - Yes i am deadnaming this country. i do not recognize these silly zoomer pronouns like "czechia." NOT REAL ! song is relatively good on its own but to me it its not a eurovision song. it's giving pale waves without the production by mr the 1975 whatever his name is. i think this will be well received by juries but it's not fun in the way we expect from battle royale evropa edition. props to the czech republic for sending a russian girl in these russophobic times. i will not mind hearing this on the radio in the car in the coming year/10

denmark - she's technically white seeing as she's very obviously ethiopian (amhara, not those COLORED varieties). good singer but the song is nothing. relatively dignified considering the scandinavian's propensity for cringe/10

greece - she gave cunt she served she died or whatever it is you kids say these days. it's giving noa kirel if we're being honest. in my top 3 i'd say. no wonder greeks invented civilization/10

malta - for this one my opinion is colored by the fact that going into it i know she's some commercial real estate magnate's daughter who paid her way into the competition. when will people learn, war criminals' nieces are simply better than investor's daughters. don't even thing about being a talentless hack if your uncle isn't exterminating minorities. only positive is the tooth gap/10

switzerland - european college student is not immune to american they/them disorder. if he sings the hard parts well, this could save some of it musically but culturally it's a L. go back to sending kosovar albanians/10

belgium - european man in his 30s is ALSO not immune to american they/them disorder. this is nothing, but we must always keep in mind only a few years ago a good third of the contestants would send ballads so. belgium has no reason to exist, think about it/10

estonia - MICHAEL VSAUCE ?? estonian pitbull be like mr balt-wide. it's above average in an extremely poor year/10

georgia - rising from the ashes like a phoenix is actually referencing the historical period during which georgia did not exist on the map, like poland, but re-emerged as a sovereign state. and this is what they did with it. also the bizarre sour food. below average in an extremely poor year/10

the illegitimate fascist ethnostate of isnotreal - the best of this variety of song we've heard, largely because the music is more subtle and she can in fact sing. this will either get high or no votes from the general public depending on prevailing sentiment on the holocaust du jour. thee mathematical average in a poor year/10

latvia - na-baron, house harkonnen does not know what's coming for it. bro the lisan al gaib's fedaykin are coming for ur bald ass ! this is nothing/10

the netherlands - i will confess this is not bad. TO ME it is a quirky and lighthearted version of a stupid eurovision song, with some self awareness that the finns (both this year and last) sorely lack. unlike other TREASURED MUTUALS i do not consider this man SEXUALLY ATTRACTIVE. i will let the senatus populusque tumblorus draw its own conclusions based on the notes of this post. MAGNA EVROPA EST PATRIA NOSTRA/10

norway - i can recognize there is an audience for this and that audience is not me. is it good ? i'll have to ask them. i think this may get an unusually high amount of votes from juries for some reason. feels like the kind of song that would play for a super epic and dramatic ( :I ) final scene in vikings (tv show). eeeh/10

san marino - you can tell she thinks she's quirky from the facial expressions. if i wanted sexy skeletons i'd have played undertale. this sucks, you're san marino you have no identity, genuinely this should be a vehicle for importing flo rida or something. this sucks/10

france - incredible voice. getting a lot of dune princess vibes from the outfit (<- guy who just watched dune). this will get panned because it's france, and somehow american warships have secured total anglo victory in the cultural thousand year war (the hundred year war). liberté, égalité, fraternité/10

italy - i had not heard this as i abstained from san remo, but this is pretty good, it's very ethnic, it's sexy, it has hot blood coursing through its veins. top few (final ranking pending)/10

spain - relatively okay beat/instrumental that's wasted on a nothing singer. send basque opera singers next time. i'm ready to go to sleep/10

final conclusion - there were more good entries than in the first semi, i'll come up with a final list and rough ranking of who i'd like and hate to see go to the final for any undercover jurors reading the die karthagische zeitung. feels like the entries that are good are really good, and there's a lot of blah, but at least we're skirting by with very few ballads. pee breaks speckled in for those of us who have bladders like old women who have somehow had babies (not me tho).

#esc24

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titsgirlbuffy · 1 year

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give me all your trans angel rn im frothing at the mouth and was literally the anon who asked (i got scared you guys were joking)

aaaaaa we would never!! We keep expecting the shows to disprove it (like in Billy - I was convinced I'd have to have some sort of workaround for why the spell affected Angel, like it's based on how you see yourself in the present or it's a bioessentialist thing, and I'm not into either option and then I Didn't Have To. The magic that makes men go evil just. Didn't affect Angel. Cause he's* not a man) but more evidence keeps being added. @transangelus is doing a long thesis post so I'll not step on his toes with more canon stuff yet but. Headcanons.

* I'm gonna be changing pronouns a bunch here, should be clear from context when I'm talking about Angel, but sorry about the constant she/he/they/it switching

- "Angel" was chosen as an intentionally gender neutral (bordering on feminine) name

- Cordelia is Ecstatic to take her shopping for girl clothes. Which is genuinely terrifying for Angel but it isn't like mirrors are an option

- Thankfully even Cordy realises that, transition or no, Angel is at heart a butch goth

- Really loves 1700s style clothes, all the blouses and long skirts she wasn't allowed to consider wearing while alive

- Angelus may or may not have to change name to Angela. Spike never stops joking about this

- On that note, Spike is queer friendly in the sense that he'll ask your pronouns so he can insult you properly

- Angel goes to a trans support group early on and flees immediately after a conversation about the name:

"So, if you don't mind me asking, what's your deadname?"

"..... this is my deadname"

"Ah cool, so brave of you not to change it!"

".... I did change it"

- Angel refers to "Liam" as his alive name

- Lorne slowly starts teaching Angel how to do makeup. She likes lipgloss because it's subtle and shiny

- Buffy has a sexuality crisis because her first "boyfriend" is a woman now

- Wesley has his second sexuality crisis because the man who made him realise he's gay is, in fact, not a man

- Cordelia considers Angel's gender entirely irrelevant to her own sexuality, despite continuing to find them attractive

- Gunn tells all these people they're ridiculous because "you know she's still got no pulse, right?"

#trans angel posting #There's our most recent discussions off the top of my head #angel the series #buffy the vampire slayer

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hard--headed--woman · 4 months

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i feel kinda messed up rn bc before i got with my ex i had been convinced by the trans community that i was nonbinary and went by them/them for ages.

but my ex was a conservative controlling male basically and started calling me by she/her and my deadname even while i was telling him not too. (but obviously not for radfem reasons lol) eventually during the relationship i got into radfem theory and it was ur post about why a lot of women identify as nonbinary that actually started me thinking about it and i realised it pretty much described exactly me.

issue is, because my ex was so controlling and a lot of people would probably classify him as absuive, i still hate being called by she/her and my 'deadname' by anyone i know. now i just associate it with a control tactic and a way to make me feel shitty. on the other hand, i feel like im betraying my own beliefs and that i should try find a way to reconnect with those identifiers, but bc the wound is so fresh rn it was a far from easy

sorry that this is so long, i'm just kinda wondering if u have any advice, and i've just been considering how many other women probably try to identify out of being female because of trauma related reasons.

Hey, I'm glad you felt comfortable enough to tell me about it! I hope I will be able to help you a little bit!

First of all, please don't feel guilty for not liking being called by your "deadname" or referred to as "she/her". You've identified as non binary for ages, so you got used to it, and because of the abusive relationship you went through (sorry for that by the way, it's terrible and I hope you're doing better), this name and these pronouns remind you of your traumas, of the abuse you suffered, and make you feel bad. This is normal, you're not betraying any beliefs or any cause, it's is a human reaction and you're not doing anything wrong. I think most radfems would agree with me on that. No one can blame you so don't blame yourself.

Before anything else, I'll say that if you really can't hear that name and these pronouns, no matter how hard you try, don't force yourself. Maybe it's not what I should say but at the end of the day, if you try for a long time to accept this name and the female pronouns, and it doesn't work, no one would blame you for deciding to keep using your "new" name (or picking another one) and the they/them pronouns.

Now about your problem in itself. Well it might sound obvious but the best way to reconcile yourself with your name and female pronouns is to heal from your traumas due to this shitty relationship. Talk about it, for example to your friends or family, tell them how you feel, go out, focus on your hobbies and the things you like, meet new people if you feel like it, go to therapy if it helps, find a way to express your feelings... Do everything you need to do to feel better and move on. Step by step. It might take some time but you'll get there!

Same for your name and your pronouns. Do it step by step. Use them for yourself in your head first, or in writing. Try a diminutive of your "deadname" first, or going back to the full name again. Ask just one person to use she/her for you first, so you can get used to it again, and then ask more people to do the same thing. Talk with people who never had to call you they/them or by your other name, they will call you she/her and use your "deadname", it might help you a bit. In your head, try to distance this name and these pronouns from the abuse in itself, try to associate it with beautiful things and memories, or with your beliefs (like, "letting peoole use this name for me would be a feminist act", etc...). Step by step! I am sure you'll get there <3

As you said, the wounds are still fresh, it's normal that you need time. It will perhaps take some time but you will heal and you'll be able to hear your name and pronouns again, I know it. There's no hurry! Take your time. It's already amazing of you to learn radfem beliefs and become gender critical after years of identifying as non binary (and I am proud to have played a role in this haha!).

Have a good day and feel free to send me another ask/to dm me if you need/want <3

#asks #anon #nonbinary #abusive relationships

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codythecheshirecat · 5 months

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I Think I've Been Interacting With Myself Differently Lately CH 8

AO3

Cody's stubbornness reappears. He and Rex have a talk where nothing is communicated.

Bored on his lunch break, Cody taps through various files on his datapad. There are three reminders for the month, a handful of photos and videos sent to him by brothers and friends who thought he’d appreciate them (some are comedic, some are serious, and he’s kept them all whether he liked them or not because he appreciates the thought), and-

His notes from Gregor’s class. He bites the inside of his cheek– an annoying, new habit that he can’t break- and opens the file. He stares at his notes for Deadnaming. He’s memorized the words, but reads them anyway.

And then he turns his attention to the topics he has yet to continue researching– Gender Identity, Transgender, and Sexual Orientation. He’s not sure why he hasn’t researched them more. He’s had plenty of time to do so. And, honestly, these concepts aren’t foreign– Kamino hadn’t exactly prepared them for the wider galaxy in any way other than for war, but Cody has been around. He’s paid attention. He’s learned.

So he can’t really explain why it’s easier to throw himself out of a gunship during open fire than it is to search those terms again.

People who don't experience any sexual attraction for anyone often call themselves asexual.

Clearly there’s more than one definition for the term asexual, considering this is a very different usage than asexual reproduction. Why use the same term? Because there’s no sexual partner? Surely it must get confusing.

Transgender is an umbrella term for individuals whose gender identity, gender expression or behavior does not conform to that typically associated with the sex to which they were assigned at birth.

Cody can honestly say that he’s never put enough thought into his own gender to even think this might be a possibility. The Kaminoans had told them they were clones, and that was that. Nothing more to think about.

And now there are things like taxes and gender to think about, Cody thinks, rolling his eyes internally. People honestly think about this?

How much thought did Rex put into realizing he was attracted to Senator Organa? About Queen Organa? Did he think about it at all?

Actually, here’s a new thought: is Cody supposed to be thinking about that all?

Am I the odd one out?

“You look like you want to kill that thing,” Sen says, sliding into the chair beside him. “You alright?”

Cody turns the datapad off. “I’m fine,” he says. “Although, I’d appreciate a distraction.”

Her lips twitch into a grin. “Anything in particular?”

“Anything.”

She pulls a datapad from her pocket. “Alright, so we’re trying to find something to do with you for your birthday. Marsi thinks we should be sneaky about it and make it a surprise, and Fi is insistent that mini golfing is the best activity.”

“And you disagree with both of them?” cody guesses.

“Not really, they both have good points. I definitely think we should do something you’ve never done before, though. You ever been to a concert?”

Have I ever been to a concert? “I was present for a handful of celebratory events that involved music,” Cody says. “Other than that, no.”

“No, then. Well, I’ve been looking at concerts happening around your birthday here on Coruscant.”

Cody tilts his head. “Anything I’ve heard of?”

“Let’s see. Poor Man’s Poison?”

“No.”

“Lovejoy?”

Cody shakes his head.

“Hey Violet?”

“Maybe?”

“Probably not,” Sen says, eyeing the datapad. “Have you heard of Taylor Swift?”

“I don’t live under a rock, Sen,” Cody says. “I know Taylor Swift.”

“Would you go to one of her concerts?”

“I wasn’t made to deal with that crowd,” Cody says.

“What about Snail Mail?”

Cody is suddenly transported back to the Negotiator, where he’d borne witness to the tail end of a conversation about what the world would be like if they were all snails. “No snails, please.”

Sen puts her datapad on the table. “Well, that was all of them.”

Cody stares at the datapad, where ‘Ghost’ is clearly written underneath Snail Mail. “What’s Ghost?”

Sen snorts. “Ghost is my favorite band, and definitely not your speed, Cody.”

“Ghost company.”

“That’s great, and I still think it’s not your speed.” Sen shakes her head. “Trust me, you’d fit in better with the Swifties.”

“Skywalker would fit in with the Swifties,” Cody says. “I’ve made up my mind. Tell the others we’re seeing Ghost in concert.”

“It’s a terrible idea to do that.”

“Your insistence is only making me more stubborn.” Cody tilts his head. “I was supposed to be a Captain, you know. Alpha-17 was supposed to train me as a Captain. Commander happened because I didn’t take no for an answer.”

They have a stare off. Cody has two minutes until he has to clock back in for lunch. After a moment, Sen sighs.

“Alright, your funeral. I’ll tell the others it’s your deepest wish to go see Ghost in concert. You want a heads up of what their concerts are like?”

“Is it anything like the battlefield?”

“I can’t imagine that it is.”

“Then I’ll be fine,” Cody stands, tilting his head like a polite bow. “Enjoy your break, Sen.”

Rex breaks into his apartment and makes himself caf. Cody watches him, not saying a word, knowing that Rex knows he’s there and that this is an intricate ritual that they must take part in and that neither of them fully understand.

This is what it’s like having brothers, as Cody understands it.

Rex has brought with him an Orchid plant. He sets it on Cody’s counter, and Cody eyes the handwritten note attached– all he can see from this distance is Fox’s signature.

Finally, Rex situates himself on the opposite end of Cody’s couch and stares at him.

Cody deems it time to talk. “Rex.”

“Cody,” Rex says. “Fox made me bring that Orchid.”

“I figured,” Cody says. “Rex, how did you know you were interested in the Organas?”

Rex blinks at him like a fish out of water. Cody waits patiently for him to get his mind back together. “What?”

“How did you know you were interested in the Organas?” Cody repeats. “What was the thought process?”

Rex gives him a curious look. “There wasn’t a thought process.”

Well, that doesn’t make sense. “You have to have thought about it.”

“It’s more of a feeling,” Rex says. “Like when you’re on the battlefield, and you’re acting on instinct more than conscious thought.”

“You have to have thought it through.”

“Whether or not I wanted to act on it, sure. Not the attraction itself.”

Cody stares at him. “Is that not the same?”

“No,” Rex says slowly, making his thinking face. “What’s another metaphor? It’s like facial expression and verbal communication.”

“I’m not following,” Cody says, frowning hard. “How are they like attraction?”

“Cody, what’s this about?” Rex asks. He sets his cup of caf on the floor. “Is everything alright?”

Like when you’re on the battlefield, and you’re acting on instinct more than conscious thought. It’s like facial expression and verbal communication. “Do you not think about your facial expressions?”

“...Only when I might have to disguise the expressions on my face,” Rex says. “Are you saying you do?”

“I think we might be looking at the same thing from different angles,” Cody says. He bites his cheek again. “Different words, same thing. Forget about it.”

“If you’re sure,” Rex says. “Did you still want to talk about Bail and Breha..?”

“No,” Cody says. “Forget about that, too. Do you have birthday plans?”

#star wars #tcw #commander cody #writing #no order 66 #au

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talisidekick · 1 year

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I'm making this a blog post because this is long and serves a purpose. The following image is a response to this post:

[For those that are blind,having picture loading/comprehension difficulty, or using an auto-reader for convenience; User @lunathewafflelord replied in the comments:

"I just discovered the TERF side of Tumblr and I'm actually terrified and disgusted and I already wasn't feeling good (crying face emoji) beautiful alien's pinned post and the comments on it disgusted me so much (wry face via colon and a back-slash) Terfs are already bad, but saying they're proud PROUD to be a terf is even worse (angry face emoji)"

End Description]

@lunathewafflelord I don't know if she reblogged my post or not because beautiful alien got blocked. I have at the time of writing this post exactly 6 people on my blog total that are blocked for actively attacking me in person. I have no problem with my points getting debated. I'm more than happy to go toe to toe in my asks, or reblogs (if I catch them, as this blog post absolutely obliterates every other post I've ever made and my notifications are FILLED with people reblogging and liking so other reblogs may get missed) because the point isn't to educate the reblogger, it's to educate the audience of the discourse. But when you resort to insults or threats or purposely degrading responses, I consider the debate over. I've won and proved a more rational mind backed the statements made into a corner to the point where the only option for continuation is to try and get personal, which would be childish and immature to continue at that point. It's like trying to tell a kid that oxygen and 2 hydrogen make H20, which is water, and after losing the debate that "water" is it's own element like Iron (Fe) the child goes "well you smell" like that puts them in the right. You simply smile and ignore them, because they'll just have to live with the fact they're wrong and it'll sink in eventually or it won't, but to those present for the debate and critically thinking or curious it's clear who has the facts, knowledge, and experience. I don't know if I pinned her post on accident or not, I'm unable to remove any pin without unblocking her and potentially subjecting me to more of her uninspired regurgitation of misinformation and conjecture. I am similarly not up for any of that. I'm sorry if I pinned something shitty.

Now, I've gone through beautiful alien's tumblr and she isn't the only one out there that thinks like this, and while using her as an example I must state: do not attack her with death threats, insinuations of suicide, or any other remarks of conducting acts of self harm. Some people already have, and if you are within the 2slgbtqia+ community, even as an ally, then please stop. Don't comment directly, don't do it in anonymous asks, not even on dummy accounts. We're better than that. I get multiple messages telling me to kill myself a month, we don't need to stoop to their level of dehumanizing hatred.

I'm sorry what you saw in the comments of a very important message about supporting trans folk and their choices to get misgendered and deadnamed in public or in front of certain people regardless of how safe or open you might think/know the person to be was a wall of transphobia. I wasn't shocked myself, but it can be jarring when you're excited and uplifted by post that explains something clearly for the benefit of yourself that you can share to friends, family, etc. to explain without putting as much effort as I did to form my fears and worries into words.

Please remember these terfs aren't stating facts but beliefs that actively hurt, harm, and cause a high degree of mental distress. You are not obligated to respond to, combat against, or disprove them. You have only one obligation and that's to live as your best self. To show care and kindness to those in need that you feel safe extending a hand to. These people seek to hurt others by denying critical mental-health care to people and spreading lies to promote harm, and you don't need to fight them in any other way than existing in total opposition to their established rhetoric. If they call you a predator, exist as a protector. They call us evil, then be the force for good many of us never had in our lives growing up. Leave the debates for those willing to have them.

If someone tries to debate your existence, just say "no" and shut them down before they get started. My response when I don't have the mental capacity to fight the next random enemy in this dialog-battle RPG that this life seems to be is to laugh like it's a joke they even try. To make it seem ridiculous and walk on. You don't need to engage in that mental strain if it's not for you.

Sometimes, we fight by living by example. Sometimes, we just need to live our lives to prove them wrong. Trans isn't about perfectly formed fact referenced arguments, rallies, protests, and demonstrations, it's about living your best life to smile happily, make other smile and let them be safe in your presence, to discover yourself and live your way. Some of us live our life enjoying the aspects of debate, but don't for a moment think you have to partake. Ignore them, and go find happiness.

#trans #transgender #2slgbtqia+#lgbtq+#lgbt+#queer #trans positivity #mtf #ftm

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