#so I don’t want to see a single ‘um actually- none of this is related at all’
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What do you mean “if I have an AU I want to make comics for, I actually have to make the designs and draw the comics???” Why can’t I just magically manifest them into existence??? Anyways, here’s some KevinSu fam and MobiKlein fam designs and concepts for a “Flame Chasers + whoever else is convenient for me get reborn into Genshin and slowly regain their memories from Honkai” AU
Mobius and Klein were Tanit scholars/doctors
(OG Klein is the one on the far left btw. I know I changed a lot of her design elements and I’m not sure how clear that is, so I’m just specifying here. Also, it’s on the side of her belt so idk how well y’all can see it, but she has a hydro vision)
They left the tribe pretty early on (if you’ve played that quest™️, you know why. If you don’t, I’m not gonna spoil it here)
They also left so Mobi could investigate the withering and see if it might have any connections to the Honkai/ see if there was any chance of the Honkai leaking into Teyvat
Klein never got her Honkai memories back, but she still fell in love with Mobi anyways and they’re still lab partners. Mobi got her memories back fairly early on
Klein got Eleazar, so they decided to move from the desert to Sumeru city to seek better medical treatment
She’s fine now and made it through the end of the arcon quest, so she got cured 👍
Mobi is a professor at the academia
Her students are terrified of her
So usual Mobius shenanigans
Being a professor also put her in a position where she’s closer to Irminsul, so she’s content with the situation
The matra know damn well she’s continuing her artificial life experiments, but they can’t prove shit so she’s in the clear
Alhaitham was the first successful clone baby she made, Klein jr was the second
The thing Elysia did to Su’s arm stuck through the reincarnation, so Su got his memories back very early on
He grew up on the same block as Fu Hua over in Liyue harbor, but she didn’t get her memories back until her late teens
Su grew up hearing a lot of stories about the chasm, and he was worried that it might have something to do with the Honkai
But he didn’t actually have the clearance to investigate that, so had to go to Sumeru Academia to get the research clearance only to find out about Eleazar and the Withering and get significantly more anxious
Imagine his face after being told he has to go through med school again lmao (at least there’s legitimately different illnesses and treatments in Teyvat, so he does have something new to learn)
Anyways, he ran into Mobi and Kevin at the Academia
Kevin grew up in Mondstad and got his memories back in his early 20s. He moved to Sumeru city because he thought it’d be the place with highest chance of him running into someone he knows so that they can explain wtf is going on
Kevin and Su got married somewhere along the way I guess, but that’s not important right now
Anyways, Mobius basically stole their genes off their clothes or something so she wouldn’t have to use any of Klein’s in the prototypes for her experiments
Alhaitham was the first successful artificial life she made and she just sorta handed him off to Kevin and Su and they both sorta just “aight, guess we have a kid now”
Mobius still got to be his grandma though and watched him a lot while Kevin and Su (well, Su mostly. Kevin was there more as a bodyguard) were off doing research in the chasm (which is why Alhaitham is the way he is)
#honkai impact#genshin impact#what this AU totally isn’t an excuse to point out signs that the Honkai is leaking into Genshin what are you talking about#this is a reminder that all Irminsul trees in Teyvat are connected and part of the same tree (read: the imaginary tree probably)#so I don’t want to see a single ‘um actually- none of this is related at all’#especially since this is mostly me having fun with an AU fanfic#but ya interesting that the things plaguing Sumeru (a nation named after tech from Honkai) are withering and a disease that transforms peopl#this is a reminder that Honkai roughly translates to ‘decay’#Klein: a girl so boobless and assless you could skip her like a prized stone#ya I ignore the canon models a lot and y’all are just gonna have to get use to that#no mantis genes here so Mobi and Klein are just old here#they’re both between 40-60#Klein looks a bit older though cuz chronic illness is a bitch and ages you#I’d be so happy if I got any asks about this AU ngl#honkai su#kevin kaslana#alhaitham#honkai mobius#Honkai Klein
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@zenigatakeibu asked: “HAPPY NEW YEAR!!” Zenigata beams. He’s in rather high spirits, a rare sight these days, though that may just be the sake talking. Judging by the way he sways, it seems he’s already helped himself to more than his fair share… Not that anyone would blame him. A ‘little’ something to help take the edge off. An inspector’s work is never done after all, not even on holidays. “HA–!”
He drops like a gymnast to Daisuke’s height– a squat so fast it’s a wonder he doesn’t collapse– holding a pochibukuro in front of his face. The envelope is bound in red and white mizuhiki cord; inside sits a generous ¥10,000. From uncle to nephew. “For you, kid,” Zenigata’s smile softens. He offers it out with both hands. “Don’t spend it all in one place, hm?”
' ah ! zeni-sa --- ack . augh ... ' wow , that was strong . the stench of alcohol hits him in a massive wave , and he can only shut his eyes and plug his nose for a moment . how many cups , bottles , and barrels did it take to get someone as huge as intimidating as zenigata drunk ? he tries not to imagine it , else he'd likewise start to worry about the inspector's liver , but it was new years after all --- wasn't it ?
if anything , it was nice to see the other looking so carefree . although he's managed to preserve the upturned corners of his smile for the other , the boy's just as unprepared for zenigata's earth-shaking , world-class squat . unsure of whether it was from the force of magnitude of the inspector's sheer bulk or his own typical skittishness , daisuke nevertheless swears that his feet have lifted into the air for just a single miraculous moment .
any more intense , and he'd think that the other had drunkenly mistaken him for a sumo wrestling opponent . instead --- a pochibukuro juts out into the space right in front of his nose , practically pushing him stiff backwards . eyes widen ; gleam and glimmer with innocent wonder at first sight of the gift , but if there's any gasp that audibly escapes him , he's quick to try to cover it .
' w-wait , for --- me ?! are you sure you don't have the wrong person ?! '
wasn't this just too much ? daisuke would have never wheedled the other for funds or personal fortune . it wasn't as if they were even blood related , and even then --- well , it might have been a little arrogant to even think , but he was sure that an inspector's mundane pay would never be able to match the wanton , burgled fortune of a phantom thief .
even so , that was nothing that he could ever confess --- and he couldn't possibly deprive zenigata of a considerate act like this either ! who could decline an envelope that had been so readily prepared and delivered ? just imagining the other's drunken smile potentially turning into a sobered-up frown would mean that he had left them both nothing more than broken hearts and a chilly night .
if anything , knowing the sorts of troubles that might have waited ahead of them ... daisuke desperately wanted to give them both a good start .
' u-um , well , i --- ! ' his head bows , and his body bends to double him over in an instant . he prays that the other can't see the guilty sweat and tremble of his palms as he timidly accepts . ' if you're sure , then ... t-thank you , zeni-san . you really didn't have to do this ... ' how much was in it ? hopefully not too much , right ?
at least there was some convenience to the instance . when his hands fumble through a pant-pocket , he hurriedly retrieves a new year's present of his own . ' actually , i was going to go out and find you ... ' it's a little ironic , being found first , but maybe that's just how things were meant to be . back straightens , and a hand rubs at the nape of his neck as he bashfully laughs a little . ' i really --- wanted to give you this . '
it's a wooden omamori , flat tied and and hand-painted by none other than the boy himself . on the front , the inspector had been carefully depicted : dashing and determined , broad-shouldered frame easily fitting into the edges of the charm . on the back , its presumable purpose : good health and protection .
' zeni-san , um ... i'm sure there are times where your job is dangerous , or stressful , but --- i think that you're always trying to keep people safe . i've always felt safe around you , and that's why ... um --- m-me too , i ... i want you to be safe . ' from the bottom of his heart : the burning lump starting to pound furiously , forcefully in his chest already . ' i know that i'm still young , and there probably isn't anything else that i could do for you , but i was still hoping that you'd accept it . '
it's a trade he tries to make quickly . tucking zenigata's envelope away , he presses his own gift into the other's grasp --- before dashing away , whether or not the other wanted him to wait for a return of gratitude . feeling the heat of his curse , quick to tuck himself away into someplace where he wouldn't be witnessed , or recognized ...
... as always , it was impossible to smother the force of his desire .
were it not for his curse and family inheritance --- he might have flung himself at the inspector in an instant , and clung to the man for as long a time as his thrumming heart felt necessary to express its care . instead , praying that zenigata didn't think of him any more poorly , or an outright rotten child for running , he'd settle for clutching at the man's gift envelope --- carefully considering both budget and every brand new , new year story to tell to make up for things .
forget touch ; he'd listen carefully .
soon enough , he'd share with the other how he had spent little by little in all sorts of places --- a happiness nurtured , and blissfully shared , for as long as zenigata too remained in good health and high spirits .
--- may both of their wishes have come true .
#*･ﾟ⊰ ANSWERED. ⊱#CANON.#zenigatakeibu#ZENI SANNNNNNN#HARVEY I DIE....#kid cut off from practically all forms of intimacy bc of the curse(tm): were it not for this i would hug zeni-san so much. forever#and ever#and ever..... and ever.#just gotta settle for the mona-zenigata lisa omamori#HJGRGBJJKJGKK
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Urusei Yatsura 2022 OP "A-i-u-e" english translation and extensive translation/reference notes
I posted the tv size lyrics translated before, but I've made some revisions based on my renewed understanding of the entire song.
There are a lot of translation notes at the bottom of this one. The second half of the song has a lot of series-related jokes/double meanings that are just not able to be translated for reasons that will become apparent very quickly. I tried to prioritize understandability in my english translation, but some sections will sound a bit bizarre due to this onslaught of puns and wordplays.
I also feel silly that I didn’t realize until looking at the full version of the lyrics that the title “aiue” isn’t simply the Japanese vowels (usually a-i-e-o-u) or sounds that are being sung nonsensically, but 愛飢え means “love-starved”. Initially I thought maybe it was 愛上 (literally ‘top love’ or maybe ‘love is best/most important’), but that seemed a little nonsense to me last time, so I didn’t make note of it.
Lyrics and notes after the cut.
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(A, a, ooeo, a, e, a, e, oo)
(a, a, ooeo, a, e, a, e, oo)
Hey, um, I feel like you’re not all that interested in me?
Ah, I see, then that’s fine
Forget about it—no, actually, don’t
Ah, geez, even though I support you so much (1)
You never notice me and it’s so frustrating!
(Chorus)
Don’t say, “Huh? What?”
“I wasn’t listening” “Who cares”
I want you to understand every little thing about me
“I refuse”? Even if you say that
I won’t be hearing it!
“A mysterious phenomenon” “Beyond comprehension” (2)
“What’s do you see in him?” people say to me all the time, but
None of that matters
All you need to know is I’m overflowing with love, so never let me go! (3)
(A, a, aiue, a, e, a, e, oo)
Agh! It’s no fun if it makes too much sense (4)
This tireless romance discourse of ours (5)
Now, what’ll be your next move, my darling? Hmmm?
(Ah, ah, love-starved)
Ah, geez, I know (6)
That you can’t help being starved for my love
But I can’t stand to walk on eggshells around you (7)
My heart comes and goes
It’s exhausting when you cry all the time
No matter how long you wait for me, I don’t know how to answer you
Today, I’ll run from you yet again
That was close
You know you’re my fated one
So please forgive me, I just can’t take this anymore!
I mean, well,
I told you I can’t decide, I can’t choose just one
I want to love whoever I want, as much as I want (8)
Even if you tell me that I’m just the worst,
I’m well aware of that already
In a love song, (9)
Jokes need further discussion (10)
“What do you not like about me?” you ask me all the time, but, well
It’s got nothing to do with me
Even if love beats me down, I’ll just stand up again (11)
Unbelievable! Do you understand? (12)
People are saying all kinds of things about us
Do you know the taste of love? Is it like cherries? (13)
No, not at all (14)
Girls are plenty trouble enough as is (15)
In a flurry of cherry blossoms in bloom, or a furious snowstorm (16)
Even if they make their minds spotless (17)
And exorcise themselves of bad luck, (18)
These two are still nothing but trouble! (19)
Filled with half-belief and half-doubt (20)
Isn’t a heart in love a disastrous thing?
Teach me more
Of this ceaseless love-starvation
Even if you’re single-minded or unfair about it
Huh?
You weren’t listening? You don’t care?
Don’t you want to know every little thing about me?
“No, I don’t”? Even if you say that
I don’t know what you mean!
“A mysterious phenomenon” “Beyond comprehension”
You’re so hopeless, I have no choice but to rain divine punishment upon you!
It’s fine by me if you’re just a bit undisciplined
I’m overflowing with love, so don’t let me go
Enough of running, enough of retribution, give it a rest already!
(A, a, ooeo, a, e, a, e, oo)
You don’t get it, what’s up with that?
Then let me explain it nice and clear
(A, a, ooeo, a, e, a, e, oo)
For now, just look at me and only me, ‘kay!
(a, a, ooeo, a, e, a, e, oo)
I won’t forgive you if your heart strays (21)
Even if just for a moment, just for a second
I want to make you fall for me (22)
So stay by my side
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Translation notes:
(1) The opening sequence of Urusei Yatsura’s reboot is set in modern times, despite the show itself still being in the showa era. The word “oshi” is used here, which is a very modern slang word used a little bit similarly to “stan” or “bias” in fandom spaces. Your “oshi” is the character/person/musician/etc you love the most, and the act of oshi is engaging in whatever given act of showing your love and support for them. So in the lyrics, she is essentially, “Even though I stan you, you never notice” (LOL). This modern slang usage seems to be an intentional prod at the modern setting of the opening sequence, because this word was not used at all back when Urusei Yatsura was first conceptualized.
(2) These aren’t necessarily puns, but I think they’re more so meant to be wordplays that have a similar sound/cadence. “Fukakai genshou, ijou joushou”; it’s phonetically playful, but again, not really a pun. Translated, it sounds a little nonsensical, but there’s not much to be done about that without outright changing the meaning. There’s a few other lines like this.
(3) Some more slight wordplay; “ai de afurete afurete, aa, furete, tomaranai dake” is literally “Overflowing, overflowing with love, ahh, touch me, just don’t stop”. Afurete = overflowing, aa furete = ahh touch me.
(4) “Do-seiron” is slang usually meaning that an argument is so sound, there’s no use fighting against it. The kanji for “sei” is usually 正 but it’s replaced with 星 here, meaning star/planet because the same pun is used in Urusei Yatsura. Urusei means noisy or annoying. Replacing the “sei” with the kanji for star/planet alludes to the extraterrestrial elements present in the series.
(5) I’m not sure if there’s a double meaning here that I’m missing, but I also think this turn of words is just meant to be harmonious with the previous line’s “do-seiron” phrasing. “Do-seiron, ren’ai-ron.”
(6) From here, the perspective shifts from Lum to Ataru.
(7) This is the beginning of a string of references to the names of characters in the series, and I might miss some. Shinobinai = can’t bring myself to do. Reference to the character Shinobu.
(8) “I want to love” is written with the kanji for “like” but sung out loud as “love”, perhaps meant to be a play on Ataru’s desire for casual love, and Lum’s desire for genuine romance.
(9) “Love song” written out in english (rabu songu) here is almost certainly a reference to the very first Urusei Yatsura theme song, titled “Lum’s Love Song” (Ramu no rabu songu).
(10) “Jokes need further discussion”: I’m not sure if there’s a reference here I’m missing, but it seems like another turn of phrase that’s emphasizing the similar phonetics. “Joudan, yousoudan”.
(11) “Atatte”, or to be hit by, referring to Ataru. “Kurattemo”, or to be on the receiving end of a blow, might be referring to Kurama (might not be though since she isn’t considered one of the main characters).
(12) “Unbelievable!” = kisoutengai, literally “fantastical beyond the heavens”, might be referring to Benten as she also has the kanji for heaven in her name…
(13) “Do you know the taste of love? Is it like cherries?” Written out as “ai know aji? cherry aji?”, with ai being a pun on love and the english word “I”. Cherry written in english is a reference to the character Cherry. Kisses being the taste of cherries also seems to be a bit of a trope in Japanese romance.
(14) Tende means utterly, absolutely, or not at all. The “ten” in it is written in katakana, referring to Ten-chan.
(15) “Girls are plenty trouble enough as is” — I took some liberty with this line. You can read it a few different ways. “Mendou” means trouble or troublesome, and is referring to the character Mendou.
(16) The cherry blossoms refer to Nurse Sakura (and possibly Ran due to “ranman”?), the snowstorm refers to Oyuki.
(17) …Or maybe the heaven kanji in this line is the one meant to be referring to Benten? “Reisei”, or calmness/composure, refers to Rei.
(18) Referring to Cherry’s constant attempts at purging Ataru of his bad luck.
(19) The word “yatsura” comes up in this line. Also, “yatsura” is ambiguously plural and can refer to any number of people, but in this case, I took it to be about the couple (Lum and Ataru) having a conflict in this song, so for the sake of flow, I wrote “these two”.
(20) “Half-belief”, written as “han-shin”, might be a reference to the Hanshin Tigers, a baseball team with whom Urusei Yatsura has collaborated with many times due both to the fact that they have a tiger stripe motif, and they’re Rumiko’s favorite baseball team.
(21) Kyorokyoro (glancing around) is a word used in the original Urusei Yatsura theme song, Lum’s Love Song (“anata wa itsudemo kyorokyoro” = “you’re always glancing around [looking away from me]”).
(22) Sowasowa (fidgeting nervously) is also used in the original theme (“anmari sowasowa shinaide” = “don’t fidget so much”).
One more note: I was on the lookout for a line referencing Ryuunosuke since she’s usually considered a core part of the main cast, but I didn’t see anything that seemed to directly point to her name. If I missed it and you figure it out, please let me know. Some of my pulls for which names are being referred to might be off, but the point hopefully comes across that the second verse of this song is meant to be a playful tribute to the cast of characters.
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Love is (not) in the air
Z realizes how different his love life is compared to his friends. Aka Z realizes he might be Aromantic
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For as long as he could remember Aaron Z was different from his classmates, as a child he never had crushes on anyone like his peers did, when everyone was getting into relationships in high school he wasn’t
“Oh you’ll find someone” his mother told him when he was fifteen, then he was sixteen and still had no romantic feelings for anyone
“Maybe they just aren’t my type” he’d try and reason with himself but did he even have a type? He was sure he did, everyone had a type
Then he was joining a new boy band, 4town, by this point he was seventeen almost eighteen. He quickly learned that all four of them where very much into romance. Jesse, the oldest was engaged to the “love of his life” he’d met her, she was kind and her and Jesse made a cute couple
Then there was Robaire, who was fittingly born on February 14th, spoke one of the most romantic language ever fluently, and in general just loved the idea of romance (Z was certain he had a secret girlfriend)
Aaron T loved watching romcoms (much to Z’s displeasure), he was a huge flirt as well and would often flirt with Z but the slightly older boy couldn’t even tell that was what he was doing. No one ever flirted with him it wasn’t his fault he couldn’t tell
Tae Young was the biggest sap, he loved any romantic gestures, would constantly talk about finding his “one true love” would awe when he saw a couple showing affection to each other (something Z couldn’t stand seeing, he didn’t understand why couples had to be on lovey dovey out in Public, go home and do that)
“You’re just a hater” Tae Young told him with a laugh as they walked through the park
Z just shrugged, sure maybe he was just jealous because everyone seemed to be able to fall in love and he couldn’t “where you in a bad relationship and now you don’t like romance?” Tae Young asked bringing him out of his thought process, shaking his head he spoke up “never been in one”
Tae Young was shocked by this news “what!? But you’re like every, well a lot of, girls ideal type how are you single??” Z just shrugged “well did you have any crushes” again he shook his head “well I had fictional crushes..?” He muttered “that doesn’t count!” Tae Young Said laughing “did you find people attractive?” “I think so? But it only lasted a few days” he said rubbing the back of his neck
“Wow that’s so weird” Tae Young Said, Z sighed, maybe their was something wrong with him, he felt like this wasn’t normal, his lack in romantic feelings couldn’t be normal maybe he could start dating just to fit in, but he couldn’t waste someone’s time knowing he didn’t have feelings for them
He spent the rest of the walk thinking about himself, about how different he was compared to his friends how none of them could relate to him and how he felt
As they made it back home Z sat down on the sofa immediately looking away from the tv as the guys where watching some stupid romance movie “did you guys know that Z has never dated anyone ever!” Tae Young announced earning a glare from Z “really?” Robaire asked surprised “maybe it’s cause he’s shy, don’t worry man you’re still young you’ll find someone” Jesse said from his spot on the couch
“But do I need to be in a relationship to be happy?” Z wondered aloud “because I have no desire to be in one” Jesse paused thoughtfully “well I guess not but why would you want to be alone?”
“I’m not alone I have you guys” He said shrugging “well what about when we move into our own separate homes?” T asked now pausing the tv “um I don’t know; I kinda like the idea of being alone. I mean I guess the idea of romantic gestures doesn’t bother me but an actual romantic relationship doesn’t interest me at least right now and since I was a child” Z explained
The guys looked at him again trying to understand him. Z just sighed giving up and went upstairs to his room
—-
It was 2002 now, the band was doing amazing, they where the biggest boy band in the world at that point. Aaron Z was now 23 and still hasn’t been in a relationship despite what rumors people started
Unfortunately the guys had gotten really tired of him not showing interest in anyone, so what did they do? Starting setting him up with people
“I hate you guys” Z groaned “I don’t even know the chick”
“I told you her name is Amara she’s 23 so same age as you and she’s very friendly” Robaire said trying to decide between to shirts
Z just huffed and zoned out. Before he knew it she was there at the front door
“Amara hi! So good to meet you” Robaire said opening the door for her “this Aaron” He said pushing Z forward, he froze not really the best at suddenly meeting new people, especially if he was gonna go on a date with them “hi nice to meet you” she said, Z nodded softly “he’s shy and has trouble talking to girls so, we’re trying to get him out there” Robaire said
Z zoned out again, everything was a blur and he hadn’t realized they where halfway to the restaurant “you don’t talk much do you?” Amara asked making him turn red “sorry” he muttered “it’s okay I get it you’re shy”
Z looked at her, she was very pretty but he still felt nothing, but they barely talked, maybe it would change…
Nope.
The drive back was silent, Z felt absolutely nothing for her. Even when she flirted with him he just responded with “okay” and “thanks” when she complimented him on his physical appearance all he said was “I know” because he couldn’t think of anything else
“Sorry” He muttered getting out of her car and walked to the front door as she drove away. That was the sixth date he’d been set up on and still he felt nothing
He opened the door ignoring the members and went to his room going on Google and typing something into his computer
“Why can’t I fall in love?” He typed searching for an answer
After a while he found something “aromantic?” He muttered reading into it, it felt like everything was clicking, this was it. Aaron Z was aromantic and there where so many people just like him who could relate just like he could
T burst in making him slam his laptop shut and turn towards him “did it not go well?” T asked him. Z shook his head “well I found this-“ “T stop” Z Said shaking his head and handed him his laptop
T raised a brow but opened it seeing what Z was reading “Aromantic?” He asked Reading about it “Aaron are you aromantic?” He asked curiously “I think so? I mean everything seemed to click for me when I read it”
“So setting you up on dates is pointless?” T asked making Z nod “probably” He said, T smiled and hugged him “I’m glad you’ve finally figured yourself out” he muttered
“Thanks T, so am I”
#4town jesse#4town robaire#4town aaron z#4town aaron t#4town taeyoung#turning red 4town#4town headcanons#slightly inspired by myself#I’m on the aromantic spectrum
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Serial Knitters
Summary: Spencer goes out of his way to buy a gift for a special someone
Pairing: Spencer Reid x Reader
Warnings: None
Word Count: 845
A/N: Ugh, this is so self-indulgent. I don't know if anyone will be able to relate but I just love knitting and crocheting and if someone went out of their way to buy me yarn I would just melt and make them a million things. Also, I am quite pleased with this title :)
Derek grumbled as he fiddled with the radio. It was bad enough that the witness they drove out 45 minutes to interview was a combative dead-end but now he had to listen to off-brand country music because there wasn’t a single good radio station in this middle of nowhere Wyoming town. Finally, he shut it off, resigned to riding in silence until Reid found something to ramble about. What he didn't expect was for Spencer to practically jump out of his seat without warning, demanding that they turn around and stop. “Wait, wait, wait! Derek, stop the car. Stop it right now!”
Derek slammed on the brakes so fast he almost got whiplash. He shot into reverse without question only to pull up to a craft store at the side of the road. Knit N’ Needle
“What the hell, Reid! Are you kidding me right now?” He wasn’t done but Spencer was already out the door before he had even put the SUV in park. Derek slammed the door behind him, prepared to yell at Spencer in front of everyone in the store. Luckily, the place was deserted except for an older woman snoozing behind the counter with a half-finished sock suspended between two needles. He found Reid in the back surveying a wall of multicolored yarn and he grabbed his arm. “Are you serious, man? We could’ve gotten killed! What were you thinking? We have a highly organized unsub on the loose and you’re buying yarn?”
“I’m allowed to have interests outside of serial killers.” Spencer narrowed his eyes defensively as he swiped two skeins of yarn off the shelf, one a light lavender and the other a deep violet. Derek let out a huff and pinched the bridge of his nose as he took a deep breath. Was he overreacting? Maybe.
“Ok, fine. I’m sorry, just don’t do that again.” He picked up a ball of yarn, tossing it up in the air and spinning it like a football. “So what? Is this a new hobby?”
“Something like that.” Spencer gave the little bell on the counter a tap and checked out quickly, cheeks tinged pink as he climbed back into the SUV.
On the jet ride home, Derek told everyone about the impromptu yarn store stop and over the next week he asked a million and one questions about Spencer’s new hobby. It’s getting chilly, Reid. When can I expect a pair of gloves?
But it was mostly forgotten after a few weeks and Derek would have certainly let it go if not for a certain exchange he witnessed during the office Christmas party Penelope insisted on throwing. He was sitting back on his desk, sipping on eggnog when he noticed Spencer talking to someone new. For a moment Derek debated eavesdropping, knowing that it was wrong, but the two of you were so close and all he had to do was scoot a little to the left and he could hear your conversation perfectly.
“Hey, you’re here! I-um-I wasn’t sure if you’d come.” Spencer’s nervousness was apparent but it was overshadowed by the genuine happiness in his voice. He was overjoyed that you were here.
“Of course! I wanted to see you.” Derek recognized your voice. You were Penelope’s friend, a technical analyst working in white-collar crimes. The only person Penelope preferred speaking to on the phone over Derek. He had never seen you, never seen how pretty you were. Derek started to get up, prepared to slip into the role of wingman. But it didn’t seem like Spencer needed help. You held up a gift bag, decorated with little snowmen. “I actually have something for you”
“For me?” Spencer’s face lit up as he took the bag and reached inside. It was a scarf, warm and thick with cables of familiar lavender yarn intertwining with violet strands. He held it for a moment, running his hands along the intricate patternwork, the soft tassels. “You made this?”
You nodded somewhat sheepishly, suddenly feeling quite shy. He put it on without a second thought despite the fact that they were inside and the heat was on. “It’s perfect! I love it.” I love you.
Derek wasn’t normally one for meddling, leaving that to Penelope, but he was barely resisting the urge to dangle some mistletoe between the two of you. Instead, he settled for sauntering over with a smirk plastered on his face. “New hobby, huh Reid?”
Spencer flushed but he didn’t take his eyes off you. Derek only laughed, leaving behind a smitten Spencer and bringing out a very confused look on your face as he made his way to Penelope, excited to be the one with gossip for a change.
---
After that, the knitted creations were even more frequent. Derek finally got that pair of gloves, and there was a proper blanket for the jet, crocheted animals for Penelope, even a winter hat for Hotch. And Spencer had the most of anyone - sweater vests, cozy cardigans, personalized mismatched socks - the evidence of your love always proudly displayed on his person.
#spencer reid fluff#spencer reid fanfiction#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid#spencer reid x you#criminal minds fanfiction#criminal minds#spencer reid imagine#lanie's 1k celebration!
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@technicallya1manband so, I just remembered that while I was camping I wrote another thing for the Gerudo Twilight AU. Specifically, I have a lot of fun with ‘The Unreliable Narrator That Is History’ (putting this like that, because I basically use it as a trope at this point), and I got bored one afternoon while hiding from the sun because it is HOT out, especially where I was. And then I thought I should probably have Twilight appear, so it kinda ended up ‘Expectation vs Reality’ by the end. Anyways, I hope you enjoy this, I’m off to bed now
-------------
“You look upset,”
Zelda startled, twisting to see Urbosa standing in the doorway behind her. The Champions had only just been dubbed as such, and Zelda had wanted to get away from the celebrations.
“I’m not,” she lied, turning back to face the sky.
Urbosa sighed, and after a moment she settled down next to Zelda.
“Little bird, you do not have to lie to me,”
“I know,” she sighed, not bothering to defend herself. “I just, I’m not sure what I’m supposed to do. My power won’t awaken, no matter what I do, and I just, I can’t live up to the expectations everyone has set for me. My mother unlocked her power so easily, and my grandmother did too. Why is it just me that can’t do this?”
“Zelda,” Urbosa wound an arm around her shoulders and pulled the younger girl to her side. “You need to stop comparing yourself to them. You aren’t them, and your power will awaken for you when you are ready,”
“But I’ve been ready!” Zelda threw out her hands. “And it’s not that easy to just, not compare! I know you wouldn’t understand that, but I just,” she put her head in her hands. “I don’t know what to do,”
“Wouldn’t understand, eh?”
Zelda peeked up through her fingers as Urbosa leaned back on her hands.
“Would you let me tell you a story, little bird?”
“A, story?”
“It has a moral,” Urbosa promised. “And I think you’ll like it,”
“Okay,” Zelda folded her hands in her lap. “Tell me a story,”
“This is an old story, very, very old. Almost, but not quite, as old as the gerudo ourselves. Back when Ganon took the form of a gerudo voe,”
“Seriously?” Zelda twisted to face Urbosa, eyes wide. “That is old,”
“Indeed,” Urbosa smiled. “The man that would become the monster Ganon had been king for only a few years when the Hero of that era defeated him. I won’t go into the details, as they get confusing, and this story is not about them. After he was defeated, Ganon was sentenced to death. He was not successfully killed, but that is also a tale for another time. What I wish to speak of is the aftermath,”
“Why start with Ganon when you’re talking about something after him?” Zelda huffed.
“Because, little bird, Ganon’s defeat left the gerudo without a king. I know it may not seem this way now, with how long it’s been since the gerudo had a king last, but this was the first time we were without so much as a prince. Not to mention the hatred we faced for our King’s actions,” Urbosa frowned, looking off into the distance. “The hylian crown was not kind to my people in the aftermath of Ganon’s defeat. We were chased even further out into the desert, and we struggled there for a long, long time. For almost a hundred years, we were without a king, and so we elected the first chief, to rule until a new king was born,”
“I’m so sorry,” Zelda frowned, suddenly feeling guilty.
“Do not apologize, little bird. It happened so long ago, and things have changed so much,” Urbosa pulled her in again. “Besides, the hylians also gave us our next king,”
“What?”
Both women turned to see the other Champions hovering in the doorway, though thankfully it seemed Zelda’s new knight was not among them.
“Sorry about that, highnesses,” Daruk mumbled, giving Revali a sharp look. “The King asked us to come find you, but we were kinda invested in the story,”
“I don’t mind telling you as well,” Urbosa turned to Zelda. “How about it? Can they join us?”
“Hm? Oh, yes, of course!” Zelda floundered, waving them out. “Please, take a seat,”
They filed in and sat around the two, and everyone turned back to Urbosa.
“Right, where was I?”
“A hylian king,” Revali said, looked a bit affronted on the gerudo’s behalf.
“He wasn’t hylian,” she corrected. “Well, I suppose that isn’t totally true. He definitely looked hylian, but he was gerudo. One of the girls who was alive when Ganon ruled had seen the writing on the wall and hid her daughter with the girl’s hylian father. This girl later married a hylian man herself and her daughter, it is said, moved very far away. Out into the middle of nowhere. She had a daughter herself, and this daughter had a son,”
“The King,” Zelda guessed.
“Yes, the King,” Urbosa smiled. “He didn’t know that though. His mother died when he was very young, and he did not return to the desert until he was already mostly grown. But, he did eventually return to us. I’m not sure how we knew he was our king, but there was no doubt at all by the time he was crowned. Of course, he was not in an easy spot. We were still suffering from the aftermath of Ganon’s rule, and he had very little time to prepare for his new role,” she paused to smile. “Which makes his achievements all that much more impressive,”
“You put an incompetent king on a throne vacated by the monster we’re getting ready to fight, and you expect us to believe he did well?” Revali huffed.
“No,” Urbosa said. “I expect you to believe we have never had a better ruler, either king or chief, after him,”
“What did he do?” Zelda asked while the others convinced Revali to stop squawking.
“Firstly, he repaired relations with the rest of Hyrule. Hylian - gerudo relations have only ever been better when your own mother was queen. Apparently he already knew the Queen at the time, and the two spent several days coming to an agreement that ended with all of the desert, and the highlands, being gerudo territory, so long as we remained a vassal state under Hyrule. After that, he is noted as having brought our people back to prosperity,”
“One king did all that?” Mipha asked.
“Yes,” Urbosa smiled. “At the time of Ganon’s rule, the gerudo were thieves. It was his gentle pushing that caused the change into a people of merchants. It is said that the first gerudo jeweller began her trade at the encouragement of the King. She was not the only one to have been encouraged by the King, of course. You know, the reason all gerudo chiefs have our own sand seals is because of him,”
“Really?” Zelda asked, thinking of Urbosa's own sand seal back in Gerudo Town.
“Oh yes, he loved animals,” she laughed. “It is said his pride and joy was a horse he’d raised from a foal that he never travelled outside of the desert without, and he even brought a goat with him into the desert,”
“A goat?” Zelda blanched.
“A goat,” Urbosa nodded. “One of the vai had an idea, to use the sand seals native to the desert as transportation. She decided to prove the worth of this idea, as it was still relatively unheard of for gerudo to be anything but warriors, by catching and taming one first. Once she had, she brought the animal to the King and offered it as a gift,” Urbosa smiled, shaking her head. “The King adored this idea, and loved his newest pet. He was very personally involved in the beginnings of the project, and encouraged the vai who had the idea when she suggested renting them out for people to use to cross the desert. The stories say that if the King was in gerudo town and couldn’t be found in the palace, then he’d be found with the seals,”
Zelda couldn’t help but giggle at that.
“My sword and shield are based on his, you know,”
“What?”
“Gerudo kings, before him, all fought with a pair of twin swords. However, when he arrived he already had a decent grasp of swordplay. Only he fought with a single sword and a shield. He was gifted a set at his coronation, and ever since then the leader of the gerudo fought with a sword and shield. I had mine made to look like the pictures we have of his,”
“That’s actually kind of sweet, in a way,” Zelda mused.
“What do you call him?”
“Hm?” Urbosa turned at Revali’s question.
“Don’t you gerudo give your kings fancy titles?” Revali elaborated. “What do you call this king?”
“Probably the Seal King,” Daruk suggested.
“Please!” Revali rolled his eyes.
“What do you think he’s called then?” Zelda asked.
“Well, I would have called him the Hero King,”
“What about the Merchant King?” Mipha suggested.
“Little bird?” Urbosa prompted. “Do you have a guess?”
“Um,” Zelda thought on that. “Perhaps, the Healing King? Since, he’s the one who got you back to a good point,”
“All very good guesses,” Urbosa smiled. “All wrong. We call him the Wolf King,”
“Wolf King?” More than a few of them echoed back.
“Yes,” Urbosa nodded. “Fierce and feral like a beast to enemies, but to allies, there is none more loyal or dedicated,” she sighed, looking wistfully at the now setting sun. “If given the chance to meet any individual from Hyrule’s history, I would want to meet him. To ask for his advice on matters, to let him see what he’s done for our people. I just hope that I will be able to be even half the leader he was,”
“You already are,” Zelda said softly.
Urbosa turned to her, and smiled. “Little bird, that means more to me than you know,”
(---)
“Princess?”
Zelda turned to see Chief Riju approach her where she stood on the balcony overlooking Gerudo Town.
“Oh, Chief Riju, my apologies,” Zelda dipped her head, an embarrassed pink making its way up her neck and onto her cheeks. “I didn’t, if I’m in the way,”
“You aren’t,” Chief Riju shook her head. “And please, just Riju,”
Zelda nodded, still a bit embarrassed, and the two looked out over the town together in silence for a moment.
“Rupee for your thoughts?” Riju asked.
“Just, thinking about Urbosa’s legacy,” Zelda admitted.
“Oh?”
“She told me a story once, about an old gerudo king. The Wolf King. She said she had wanted to be even half as good as he was,”
“She succeeded,” Riju told her. “At least, in my opinion,”
“No, you’re right,” Zelda shook her head, smiling. “I just hope she knows that, is all. Knows that she was able to leave a big enough positive impact that she succeeded in her goal,”
Riju set a hand on Zelda’s arm. “I do too,”
Neither girl said another word.
(---)
Zelda felt a bit like screaming, if she was completely honest.
Link, Wild, whatever he was calling himself, had gotten sucked away on some magic time travelling quest with other Heroes, and now he was introducing her to his mentor, the Hero of Twilight.
A Hero, who it turns out was also the Wolf King.
He was shorter than Zelda had pictured him, and you would never know he was the gerudo king by his appearance. He definitely looked the part of a wolf, though.
But here he was, holding out the original sword and shield that Urbosa’s were based on. There were differences, obviously, but the smith who made the Scimitar of the Seven and Daybreaker had done a very good job replicating them.
“Are we done now, Cub?” The King, Twilight, sighed.
He didn’t seem to be very invested in his role as king, which contrasted Urbosa’s description of him as ‘dedicated’. In fact, it seemed like he wanted to stop talking about it as quickly as possible.
“Almost,” Link nodded. He turned to Zelda and waved his hands at Twilight. “See? I told you I got to meet him!”
“What?” Twilight asked.
“Oh, uh, pardon us, Your Highness,” Zelda gave him a half bow, and noted the way his face scrunched up. “It’s just, my good friend Urbosa had told me about you a long time ago. She looked up to you and your legacy, and so I’ve also, sort of, admired you. I, I never thought I’d actually get to meet you,”
Oh, Urbosa should be here, Zelda thought. She had wanted to meet him,
“Right,” he said slowly, tucking the sword and shield back in his bag. “Uh, thanks?”
“You, don’t seem very invested in your kingship,” Zelda noted.
“May I be completely honest with you, Your Highness?”
“Of course,” she firmly tamped down the excitement in her chest.
“I have no idea what I’m doing,”
“What?”
That definitely didn’t sound like the king Urbosa told her about.
“I grew up on a ranch,” he explained. “I herd goats. I barely knew what I was doing when I became the Hero. And now I find out I’m supposed to be a king? My village had a mayor, and he taught me how to wrestle gorons. Because he used to wrestle gorons. I don’t know how many kings can wrestle gorons,”
“At least one,” Link offered.
“Not helping,” Twilight shot him a halfhearted glare. He turned back to her and sighed. “Look, I’m sure there’s some reason you and Urbosa admired me, but I have no idea what that could possibly be. I’m impressed I haven’t screwed anything up too badly yet. So, it’s not that I’m not invested, I’m stuck in the position so I may as well actually try and do well, it’s just, I’m sort of riding blind here. I don’t know what I’m doing, and I’d really rather not talk about it,”
“Oh,” Zelda blinked. “I, suppose that makes sense. My apologies, I’ll try to refrain from bringing it up. I hadn’t intended to make you uncomfortable,”
“You didn’t,” he sighed, and Zelda felt a bit relieved. “And, thanks. It’s just, a whole headache for me,”
“I believe I understand the feeling, Your Majesty,”
“No, stop,”
“Stop?”
“No ‘Your Majesty’. No ‘King Link’, no royal titles at all. I am Link Ordon, the goat herd,” he frowned deeply. “I will accept ‘Hero’ if you must, but I,” he sighed in what seemed like defeat. “Please, just call me Twilight,”
“Of course, Twilight,”
“Thank you,”
Zelda wasn’t sure if the fact that Urbosa’s idol had no clue what he was doing would have made her friend feel any better, but it did boost Zelda’s confidence about the monumental task in front of her.
It was just a pity she wouldn’t be able to get any tips from him.
Although, apparently Hyrule’s first king was also among Links’s travelling companions. Maybe she could ask him for advice...
#linked universe#lu#gerudo twilight#lu twilight#lu flora#urbosa#lu wild#riju#daruk#mipha#revali#i'll probably reblog this tomorrow at a reasonable time#but for now#have this hastily edited fic#fun fact: google docs has no spell check when you are working offline#even when you have offline editing enabled#the more you know#now if you'll excuse me#i was up till 3am last night and my father is an asshole who wake up at 8 no matter how late he was up#*wakes#whatever#also the joke at the end is that sky has even less advice than twi#so he's not helpful either
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- how being koko’s best friend would be like
a/n - had too much fun with this. THIS IS VERY LONG UM. this is an apology for being inactive.
contains - fluff, teeny bit of angst, just platonic because YEAH, fem!reader, implied strong reader, reader has mommy issues (definitely not projecting), reader had a friendship with akane and looked up to her like an older sister
you and hajime go way back since you were kids. you two met in an interesting way but not necessarily in a good one.
you were walking to the nearest park to get out of your crazy house because your mom kept screaming at you over the littlest thing again. you forgot to wash the dishes (you didn’t necessarily forget that’s for sure). you stopped once you saw a boy around your age getting beaten up by some older kids. his hand gripped tightly on what looked like a school bag and protected it like his life depended on it.
it didn’t matter anymore because you had just knocked out both of the bullies in no time without a thought— almost as if it was normal to you. when you looked at the boy, he had blood going down from his forehead to his cheek, heavily panting and on the verge of passing out. he’s not the fighting type, huh. luckily you had a towel wrapped around your neck since you had just gotten out of the shower when you walked out your house, you weren’t gonna spend much time at the park anyways
you kneeled down and wiped the dripping blood off his face and noticed a bigger figure running towards you both. it was.. a girl?
“hajime-kun! what happened here?!” she panicked as she checked your surroundings
“akane-san.. it’s no big deal i promise..”
“no big deal?! i knew something was up when you rushed the other way. and my bag also happened to be missing! why didn’t you ask for help? you don’t need to be independent all the time.”
“and you,” she began, making eye contact with you
“are you okay? are you hurt?”
“no no! i’m fine don’t worry.”
“she was actually the one who knocked them out, akane-san,”
the older girl looked at the unconscious bullies, then back at you with shock and amazement in her eyes
“you did this? that’s amazing!” she says as she quickly takes your hands and wraps it around hers
“uh.. yes i promise it’s really not a big deal. i’ve dealt through worse, trust me,” you say as you gaze at the direction of your house
“worse or not this is still definitely something! even i cant beat someone up, and i’m way older than you!” she chuckled
“well it’s not like you have the heart to do something like that, akane-san,” the boy comments
“hahah you’re right, you’re right. anyways we should get going now— the sun is gonna set very soon, and you should get home as well. is your house nearby? we can walk you if you’d like,”
even ‘til this day you still don’t know why you didn’t decline her offer. was it because she was nice? it didn’t matter anymore, because if you had declined, you wouldn’t get to meet such amazing people.
it’s been a few months after meeting hajime and akane, and you had also met akane’s younger brother who was your age— seishu! you four would often hang out, whether it was at the inui home or at hajime’s house. getting to know them was pretty fun, and very interesting because a certain someone had a crush on akane.
it was definitely not seishu because they’re siblings and that’s just weird, definitely not you because akane had reminded you of your older sister who was almost never in your life, so that only left one choice— hajime.
his crush on her was so painfully obvious that you couldn’t stand seeing him try to impress her every now and then. he even ditched his glasses and bought contacts just for her to compliment him! he’s whipped huh..
one day you decided to help him out a little with his crush. it was another day of your usual hang outs except this time it was at your local mall! akane’s birthday was coming up and you three had collectively agreed to take her to the mall and see if she would see anything she’d like. turns out she was eyeing some platforms with red on the bottoms, and you took notice.
seishu dragged her to go to the food court with him because he was “hungry” so you and hajime took the chance to buy the heels. you were both now at the cash register, waiting for the register person
“i don’t understand you,” you began
“i don’t understand why you like her so much. i mean— i get that’s she’s amazing and nice and pretty and all but.. there’s another reason why you like her. something must’ve happened for you to be so attached to her so what is it?” you meant no harm with this question whatsoever. you were simply curious and that’s all.
before he answered, he smiled to himself and looked back at you
“she’s the only one that makes me feel not under pressure all the time. she’s the one who constantly reminds me that i shouldn’t be so independent and that i should always ask for help.” as you took a breath in to reply, he stopped you
“before you say anything, i know. i know she doesn’t like me. i know she’s just being nice. but there’s nothing wrong with a one-sided crush right?” he grins
even though he was beaming with a smile in front of you, you knew. you knew this wasn’t how he truly felt. you knew that deep down he was hurt but it was understandable. after all, he was just a kid wasn’t he? you saw right through him.
it was a shame after what happened the next couple of weeks after that conversation. it all happened so fast and none of you were prepared for it. you weren’t prepared for the incident that had happened to akane. a few days before it occurred, koko proudly told you that he was planning to confess and you were way against it.
“huh?! but i need to get this off my chest, y/n! i don’t care if she rejects me or not!”
“haji, i have a bad feeling about this.. i’m serious. you know how i always get bad feelings and they turn out to be true!”
he groaned and scooted far from where he was originally sitting which was right next to you. you sigh and got up to sit down next to him and laid your head on his shoulder so he wouldn’t escape
“i just don’t want you to get your hopes up, that’s all.” deep down you knew the truth. akane wasn’t interested in boys one bit despite all the confessions she had received almost every week.
“fine. you have a point. but im still going with this,”
all you could do was do nothing but let him. oh how you wished you protested more, because in return all he got was a huge burden on his shoulders.
“please ma’am, just please tell me what room akane inui and seishu inui are in,” you shouted as tears were rolling down on your cheeks. “107, right down the hall and take a left ‘hon”
you bowed and quickly made your way into the room. as you burst the door open, your eyes immediately go on seishu who looked so sad to the point where he didn’t even bother to look up at you. you hug him with a feeling of relief flowing in your body, but soon that feeling was gone when you asked where akane was.
you stood outside the door, not knowing why your feet couldn’t move. what’s wrong, y/n? her voice rang your ears. go on, don’t worry i’ll be right here next to you and if you get scared, just hold my hand! right. that was the time you were at a “haunted” house together and you were scared to go in. why are you being reminded of this right now?
you gulped and slowly opened the doorknob and found a crying boy in front of you, hands grabbing on the sheets with his head on the edge of the bed. you couldn’t do anything. all you could do was sit next to him with your head resting on his shoulder while you were crying.
a few years after that, you both acted as if nothing had happened. not because you wanted to forget akane, but because you knew akane would’ve wanted you both to continue living on without her.
despite not dating, you two would always have couple tendencies like feeding food to eachother or hugging often but you’re just THAT close to the point you can probably kiss without feeling any romantic attraction whatsoever
you couldn’t hang out with him as much anymore because of all the gang related things he’s doing. to make it up to you, he knocks on your window late at night and sleeps over most of the time. you talk to him about the usual— have you been eating? you should get more rest. and so on.
you were the one who got him to start wearing eyeliner! at first he just looked at you with a confused face when you handed him it as his present, but then you explained that if he wants to go fully dedicated to the black dragons, the wings of the eyeliner would represent the wings of the dragon. he didn’t wear it at first, all he did was ruffle your hair and said he’d think about it— and he kept his word! so now he’s the iconic money-making genius that wears eyeliner.
after all that’s happened between you two, there isn’t a single awkward moment you share. you know those friends who bring up an adult related topic out of completely nowhere? you two were those friends.
“i was walking by an alley and i heard a girl getting fucked,” he says while chewing the piece of gum you handed to him
“..and??”
“i’ve never walked away so fast in my life.”
there are days where you’re sad but, of course, you don’t tell him. in fact you don’t need to tell him because he’ll know when you’re upset.
“so are ya gonna tell me what’s wrong?” he says as he rests his head on your thighs
“ugh how do you always know..”
“because we’ve been together for the longest, duh.”
he doesn’t show it much, but he cares for you more than you think he does. overprotective and can’t help but show it at times, but don’t worry! he’s doing it because he loves you. remembers the littlest things you talk about and are interested in. he’s also constantly on the lookout so that you don’t get hurt or even worse.
when he’s the one who’s upset, you immediately know. he’s quieter than usual, zoning out a lot and just not paying attention to what you’re saying to him, almost like he’s in his own little world. before you initiate a conversation, you play with his hair so he’ll feel comfortable as a way for you to convince him to tell you what’s wrong.
even though it happened such a long time ago, he still thinks about her. you cant blame him, you do too! if you were to describe your best friend with one sentence, the first thing that would pop up in your head was weak little boy. not weak as in physically weak, but weak as in mentally weak. he can’t help but get emotional when it comes to her, which is understandable.
“it’s not your fault, hajime. she left you with no proper closure, and now you’re carrying guilt and burden on your shoulders. anyone would feel the same or even worse in your position.”
he didn’t respond but he doesn’t need to. all that matters to him is that you’re next to him, comforting him with your kind words like you always do. you both have some differences which caused a few arguments, but in the end you would still be best friends.
speaking of arguments, you argue either over the dumbest things ever or over serious topics. one time you got mad at him because he was beating you in a video game and his smug expression was not helping at all. you kicked him out of your house because you were just THAT frustrated. you felt guilty so you decided to walk to his house and apologize but stopped once you saw a certain figure trying to climb up to your window.
in the start of the serious argument, it was completely something different than what you were yelling at each other about now.
he showed up at your house with your favorite boba and snacks. you demanded him to put those down.
“hajime. food— no. MONEY cant keep me happy forever, and that also applies to you!”
“then what else am i supposed to do?!” his voice started getting weak. he was never the type to argue because he’d always get emotional.
“what am i other than a money-making genius? other than a wallet?”
“i cant do anything about my situation, y/n. nothing. because that’s all i am. just a stupid wallet for everyone to use.” he says about to walk away until you grab his sleeve to stop him.
“that’s not even true. you’re so much more than that, hajime. i’m sorry.. i’m so sorry.” you were crying into his chest and he couldn’t help but cry with you.
he spoils you 100%, no doubt. there was a point in life where you would always decline but you had just gotten so used to the offer that you got tired of fighting back. i mean, how could you? he was so willing and eager and most importantly HAPPY to do this for you.
hajime cant drive motorcycles and you constantly tease him about it, which he just responds to you by squeezing your cheeks together so you could shut up. the bad thing about this is that you guys always have to walk or go on a bus to the specific place you’re going to which is pretty tiring at times. although that doesn’t matter because what matters is that you both have each other.
back to the overprotective part.. you got called by this boy to meet him at the rooftop by the end of school and you already knew what was about to go down because of your shoujo manga reading sessions. the first thing you did was call hajime and he immediately got there to warn you about what you were gonna get yourself into.
“don’t you already have someone you like??”
“uh.. no?”
“i couldve sworn you liked that ‘tora dude..”
“keep your mouth shut!”
“…so you’re gonna reject him right?”
and you did! nicely, of course. hajime advised you should make come off as mean so he wouldn’t bother you again but you just ignored him and pretended like you didn’t hear anything.
being his best friend contains some ups and downs, but that’s the point of true friendships— it’ll never be perfect.
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bunny
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summary: Harry's shy and you need a tutor.
warnings: like none, cursing?, severe fluff
You rushed into class, and scrambled over to sit in your chair, huffing as the clock struck 9:00 a.m. the moment you touched the seat. Why you signed up for a morning class you knew you would never want to wake up for is beyond you. Why the class you were taking was about English literature, a genre you had only read less than 3 books in was also beyond you. Being undecided in your major didn’t have many perks, you had come to find.
“Alright class, first things first, you’ll be having a test in this class next week about what we studied this past month.”
As your professor droned on, your heartbeat started to pick up. A month into your second year of university and you already had a test? This was absolute torture. You were psyching yourself out at this point, almost positive you would fail, until you zoned back into class to hear a deep voice speaking.
The boy with the curls almost reaching his shoulders in the back of the class, Harry, you thought. He was terrifying and intimidating, but he raised his hand almost every other question and got it right. Always. He was the answer to all of your problems. The one who always wore those tattered brown Chelsea boots and long coats. You had even seen a peek of tattoos on his hand once.
The rest of class was spent thinking of ways to ask him to tutor you. So far, you would suggest to pay him for his time, do it only when he’s available (you would switch your schedule around for him, you were already going to ask a lot of him), and just try to be really nice. You always tried not to judge on looks, but Harry seemed quite scary, and you were afraid he’d turn you down immediately.
Soon class was dismissed and you grabbed your trusty bag (it had survived multiple sleepovers at Niall’s and that boy could destroy anything by just touching it) and slung it over your shoulder, looking to see Harry walking out of the classroom. You hurried over to him out of the doors and caught up to him. “Hi, um, Harry?” You asked, and he stopped in his tracks.
He looked back at you and his eyes widened. He had to look back down for a moment so you couldn’t see him flush out of surprise. He looked back up at you and smiled softly. “Hello.” Harry mumbled, adjusting the strap of his bag on his shoulder. No one really ever spoke to Harry all that much. People just never approached him and he had no idea why (his friends had tried to clue him in that he did seem a bit intimidating with his brows furrowed almost all the time, his body littered with tattoos, and the fact that he’s quite a buff guy, but you couldn’t really tell from his oversized sweaters that he seems to wear every single day, but that’s besides the point) and it confused him a bit. It also made him a bit shy around anyone he didn’t already know, because he didn't want to come off too strong at first and scare anyone away.
You smiled at him and introduced yourself before you continued to ask him what you had been dreading out of pure nerves. “Um, I know this is weird, but we’re in the same English lit class and I notice you know like, all the answers to what Mr. Reeves asks, n’I just really wanna pass this test so I was maybe wondering if you could tutor me or something? I would pay you of course-”
“You don’t-you don’t have to pay me.” He interrupted you from rambling on for too long because you tended to do that a lot, and Harry had no idea but he had just saved himself about ten minutes of time. If you were his chance at a new friend, he wouldn’t want it to start off on money, because helping a friend wouldn't be a job. “Oh!” Your mouth formed an “o” shape and your eyebrows raised at him. “Are you sure? I mean that's fucking awesome if you really don’t want money, but I would just feel so bad taking up your time without giving you anything in return.”
You prayed that he would say that you really didn’t need to pay him anything. If he meant it, it means this boy was a godsend and you would be happy spending time with this bloke if he is really that sweet all the time. You wouldn’t expect it just because he rarely ever speaks to other people. The most words you had ever heard him speak was when he was answering a question from Mr. Reeves-
“S’fine, really. If I tutor you, um, it's basically like studying m’self so...” He trailed off scratching the back of his neck, and bringing you back to Earth. You broke out into a grin and bounced a bit on your toes, because he was going to help you pass the final and you didn’t have to pay him. “Perfect! Wow, Harry, you’re an angel. Thank you so much,” You complimented him as you grabbed your phone from your back pocket and as your eyes darted away from his face for a few moments, he attempted to bite back his smile, because you were talking to him, and calling him an angel.
You pulled your pink-case covered cell and unlocked it, handing it to Harry and saying, “Here, put your contact in so I can text you about meeting up, s’that cool?” To which he nodded and took your phone gently and began typing his name and number in, and biting back his tongue when he was about to tell you he had the same phone case as you, because you probably wouldn’t care (you actually would care a very great deal, but Harry had been so used to being ignored he figured he wouldn’t muck up his one chance at a new friend). he handed your phone back to you and you just shoved it back in your pocket, the smile never leaving your face.
“Thanks again Harry, it really means a lot. I’ll text you later, yeah?” You said, slowly beginning to walk to your next class. He just offered you a small smile before continuing the way he was before you had asked him to tutor you. Why he didn’t want money was still itching at the back of your brain, mostly because when you told your best friend, Niall, about it later that night he had said “What kinda college student turns down money?” before going off into a rant about how he wished he actually knew what he was learning so he could tutor someone and get some extra cash. You reminded him he already had a job, but it seemed tutoring was “so much easier than dealing with kids whose parents didn’t give a rats-ass if they yell in the restaurant.”
｡:°ஐ
You and Harry had arranged to meet on Wednesday, because you only had one morning class as did he, and would meet in the library at 12 p.m. You don’t think you had ever been so anxious walking into a library before, but here you were, opening the double doors and swiping your student I.D. (which had a horrid picture on it, they really never tell you when they take the photo) before your eyes scanned the front part of the library you could see. It was safe to say you weren’t in the library very often, if seeing your frazzled face as you zig-zagged through the rows of bookshelves was enough to go by.
You made your way to the back, where you assumed the tables for studying and reading would be, and as you turned the corner of one of the oddly tall bookshelves, you thanked your instincts for the first time, and scanned the area until you found a certain flop of messy brown curls hunched over at a table.
“Hi Harry,” You chittered, flopping down in the seat across from him and immediately pulling out your notes and the book you had been reading for class, Pride and Prejudice. “How are you?”
For the first time, you noticed he wore glasses, when he looked up at you and pushed the clear tan frames up the bridge of his nose, a bit startled by your arrival. “M’good, you?” He asked, no emotion or tone behind his voice really. It sounded like he just wanted you to stop talking almost, but you settled on the fact that it was your nerves telling you he hated you.
“’Bout as good as I can be with teachers up my ass all week.” You said, and a small smile struck his face. You wondered what it would be like to make him laugh. Shaking your head from your thoughts, you cleared your throat and looked at your notes before back up at him. “Alright, so m’a bit confused on why Charlotte marries Collins? I mean, ignoring the fact that they’re all related, I’ve re-read it so many times but the old English they use is so confusing.”
After your question, Harry delves into the answer, not going on an extraordinarily long tangent, but a decently long one, explaining the relationship between them, and why they married when he wanted Elizabeth first, and so on. What was even better was that he explained it all so easily you understood it all (and his voice was sweeter than honey), you just kept wanting to ask more questions, so you did.
Harry was talkative when you kept asking him questions, and it seemed like he was enjoying himself, but whenever the conversation swerved into personal life, Harry shut off and became more quiet. It wasn’t like you were asking him about his family drama, the conversation had smoothly sailed into something about high school.
“I wish I read this book in high school when they gave us the chance.” You sighed, flipping through the pages to where you had put a sticky note to write down your confusion. You truly regretted not being one of those reading types, but you preferred to hear things more (like Harry’s voice), and listening to music became your ‘hobby’ instead.
“Yeah, reading it earlier makes it pretty easy now.” He shrugged, going through his own notes. “I just wasn’t much of a reader, did you read a lot in high school?” It's an innocent enough question, and after spending about 2 hours with Harry, you already knew you would want to get to know him more, but it seemed he didn’t feel the same. “A bit.” He said, tensing up. While you were mildly confused by his body language, Harry just didn’t want to talk about highschool. He read a lot, and was so in his own world he found it hard to really have many friends. He had a few loyal ones, but books would always be there, as cheesy as that was. High school wasn’t fun for anyone, he was sure of it.
“You seem like you’d read a lot, you just give off that vibe, y’know?” You said, looking at him. He lifted his gaze from his notes and you truly could not tell what he was thinking. He gave a small “hmph” in response to your question that wasn’t really a question and looked back down at his notes, gathering them all quite fast. “I think we’re good for the day, just text me if you want anymore help.” He mumbled, slinging his bag over his shoulder and rushing out of the library. You sat there with your mouth slightly open in shock at the way he left so abruptly. After a few moments you packed up your own things and practically ran after him, bursting through the double doors and trying to find him, to-you actually didn’t know what to do. You didn’t even know what happened. That’s why you found yourself on your couch with Niall as he ate all your snack food, deep in a long-winded advice session from him.
“He just ran out Niall, I don’t even know what happened, like did I say something?” You asked, picking your nails in distress, your eyes following the chip that disappeared in his mouth seconds later. “What’s this bloke’s name, again?” He asked, after chewing (Niall could be vulgar, but he wasn’t an animal). “Um, Harry. Longish brown curls, pretty green eyes, y’know? I-I don’t even know his last name.”
The blonde’s icy blue eyes widened in recognition after a moment of thinking, and he slapped your bicep gently. “Harry Styles! I’ve heard o’him. Apparently he has like two friends and never speaks, s’not hard to believe you have a thing for him, bug.” Your brow raised incredulously, and you were quick to defend yourself, and Harry. “I do not have a thing for him, and just because he doesn’t have many friends doesn’t mean he’s a-wait what do you mean it's not hard to believe?”
Niall rolled his eyes and sat up a bit more, turning to actually face you. “You like the quiet types, s’why we aren’t dating, obviously, n’I never said he was a dud, love, just tellin’ you what I heard.” You just nodded, deciding to not worry about it so much. “There’s many reasons we aren’t dating Ni.” You gave him a compassionate smile and pat his knee. The two of you then burst out into laughter and your worries about Harry faded away.
Until the next morning that is.
You had been going over the study guide Mr. Reeves had emailed everyone that morning and realized you weren’t sure about quite a few of the things you were supposed to know. Sighing, you opened your phone and clicked on Harry’s contact typing out a text.
Hey Harry! Wondering if you could meet up sometime again this weekend just to go over the study guide?
You hit send and prayed that he wouldn’t just ignore it, especially after running out last time. After looking back at the email, you heard your notification bell go off just a few minutes later.
I can do Friday at 8pm, and Sunday around 3.
A smile of relief graced your face at his quick response, no matter how short his texts were, he was still willing to help you, and you were extremely grateful. After texting him back and agreeing to meet back at the library, you went back to working on another assignment, happy that you were able to get more studying in, not about the fact that you got to see the quiet and unusually attractive Harry Styles again. That was not the reason.
｡:°ஐ
Eventually it was Friday night. Your friday nights usually consisted of Niall dragging you somewhere you did not want to be, like a frat party (he always made sure you got home safe though), or you sitting at home, watching a movie and binging on cookies that you had baked just 30 minutes prior. Tonight was different however, and you were attempting to open the doors of the library, because it was locked, but you were positive the library wasn’t closed.
A soft voice said your name, and you turned around to see Harry standing a few feet behind you, his hands in his pockets and his bag on his shoulder. “Harry,” you exhaled in relief. “I was about to text you, but it’s locked and I know for a fact it shouldn’t be closed because the hours say 7 a.m. to 10 p.m. every weekday.” You stated matter of factly, pointing to the hours painted on the door. He walked a bit closer to the door and adjusted his glasses a bit, pursing his pink lips as he read the hours. “You’re right.” he said simply, his sage eyes darting to the handle. You wordlessly stepped back and he went to the handle, pulling the door a bit, and pushing it. It moved a bit for him, but it was obvious it was locked.
Your mind raced for solutions, the only ones you were able to find was going to your flat, or wherever he lived, and you were almost positive he wouldn't want you in his house. You heard a little sigh leave his lips as he let go of the handle, and stuck his hands back in his pockets, rolling on the balls of his feet adorned with black boots today. “We could go to my place? If you’re comfortable with that of course, I won’t force you, but it’s like the only place I can think of and my roommate won’t be home tonight to distract us, something about staying the weekend at her boyfriends, but-”
“Sure.”
Your eyes fell back onto his face at his words and you gave a small smile, happy that he had agreed. “Alright, c’mon then.” You said, walking towards the direction of your flat. Only a few moments after you began taking steps he stopped you with his voice. “Wait, you walked here?” He asked, his face twisted up with something you couldn’t tell. “Yeah, m’only fifteen minutes away.” You shrugged. “It’s pitch black-um, come with me, I drove here and you can just direct me to yours.”
You just agreed and followed him to his car, which was an awfully nice black one, you weren’t sure of the brand, but as you got in, you could tell he took really good care of it (not that that was attractive to you or anything). Your words during the drive consisted of you telling him the four turns to take before directing him the best place to park in your lot. You ignored his gaze on you as you led him up the two flights of stairs to your hall, because “The elevator has been down for ages, and I’ve sent about four letters to the landlord, but all I’ve gotten in return is just unnecessary exercise for two months.”
He chuckled a bit at that and you swore your heart grew two sizes as you led him down the hall to your door. You unlocked it, and let him in, quickly walking in front to scan and make sure it wasn’t messy. You were never one to leave the house while it was dirty, but Niall had come over earlier to convince you to come to a party, and you were scared you hadn’t picked up his mess. He truly was like your child in a sense. Taking a sigh of relief at your clean flat, you turned around to see Harry closing your door and you brushed against him to lock it, you never kept your door unlocked at night.
You led him to the living room and dropped your bag on the floor next to the couch, and he did the same, pulling out your books and notes, as well as your laptop. Harry followed your actions and you could tell he was a bit uncomfortable in your flat, or at least that’s what it seemed like. “Do y’want some water or anything? I’m not sure what other drinks I have because I’m pretty sure Niall drank everything in here, and ate it probably as well.”
He looked up at your words and hesitated, bringing his bottom lip between his fingers. “Erm, I’ll have a water, please.” Now was not the time to ask about Niall or who he was to you, he told himself, because it didn’t matter. You nodded and stood up, hurrying over to your kitchen and grabbing two glasses of water for the both of you before handing one to Harry and sitting down on the couch again.
It was a bit weird at first, but soon enough the two of you slid into an easy conversation about the study guide, it was mostly you asking and Harry answering, but occasionally he would ask you something (that you were sure he already knew), and you would answer. It was a good back and forth, and you found yourself thinking about how it would be nice to talk to Harry like this about himself. You wanted to know everything, his favorite color down to the weird little quirks he has (you’ve already picked up on one, like when he itches the bottom of his nose with a curled index finger and slides it to the button of his nose before scrunching it).
“We’ve been studying for about two hours,” You noticed, looking at the time on your computer screen reading 10:03 PM. “I’ve just about filled my brain with enough information about fictional characters for today.”
You looked over at Harry to see him grinning a bit at your joke, and for the first time you noticed he had dimples. You were positive there was nothing wrong with him, other than the fact that he didn’t seem to want to be your friend (it wasn’t his fault, you could be a bit too much for people sometimes). “Okay, I should probably get back home to Luna anyways.” He said, his offhand comment filling your brain. Luna? You prayed you haven’t been taking his time away from a girlfriend, and before your brain could catch up your mouth was already moving. “Oh, who’s Luna?”
Harry looked at you like he forgot he mentioned her and his eyes widened a bit. “Oh, um, she’s m’kitten.” A wave of relief rushed over you, as well as another reason to want to get to know him more. A man so intimidating people didn’t approach him, had a kitten? Harry was flushing out of embarrassment of telling you this little fact, and looking down as he put his things in his bag to avoid eye contact with you, you did not care about his kitten, and you were indirectly telling him to leave, he didn't think he ever hated speaking more.
“That’s such a cute name!”You exclaimed. “Do you have any photos of her? It’s okay if you don’t want to show but I love cats, always wanted t’get my own.”
Nevermind.
30 minutes later, and he was sitting next to you awfully close on the couch, showing you his photo album of Luna. Some of the photos had Harry in them, one in particular, a mirror picture, where he was wearing sweats and had chosen to go without a shirt, holding Luna in one hand by his side. He swiped off of that one with lighting speed, and although you were telling yourself he obviously was embarrassed by you seeing his bare torso, which he shouldn’t be because wow, you couldn’t help your curiosity. “How many tattoos do y’have?”
He moved his head to face you, and only then did he realize how close the two of you were sitting. “Uh, I don’t know, fifty-something? I lost count a while ago.” Your eyes lit up at his words and a grin spread across your face. “Wow, that's so cool. Did it hurt a lot? I’ve always wanted to get a tattoo but I have no idea what, and where. I thought a small little butterfly on my ribs or something would be cute for a good year, but I don’t have much connection to butterflies really, and I feel like if I get something tattooed on your body for forever I would want something that really sticks with me.”
He couldn’t help it.
As you watched Harry while you were rambling on about tattoos you could see him smile. Truly smile, one where his teeth showed and everything. You tried not to get too giddy about it, but it was just so beautiful. “It started hurting less the more I got, and tattoos don’t have t’be something y’really connect with, I have a bunch jus’ because I thought they looked cool and had a decent meaning,” He said, and you were positive that’s the most he’s ever spoken to you. “I actually have a butterfly on m’tummy.”
“What other one’s do you have?” You asked, attempting to get him to talk as much as he could.
It worked, because soon the 30 minutes became an hour, and the hour became two, and he was in your flat at midnight. It seemed the two of you had no idea how much time had passed, because when you checked your phone it said it was five past midnight, and you reluctantly told Harry.
“Shit!” He muttered, and that was the first time you’ve heard him curse before. He looked at you, concern taking over his features. “M’so sorry for staying so long, I didn’t want to impose, I-”
“Harry, it’s okay, I promise. If I didn’t want you here, I would've told you to leave.” You said, and that seemed to calm him down a bit. “I’ll walk you down.”
You slipped on your coat and grabbed your keys, while Harry grabbed his tote and the two of you made your way down the stairs, this time a comfortable silence overtaking the stairwell. You reached his car and smiled at him as he unlocked it. “Thank you Harry, for everything, m’sure after Sunday I’ll be aces at analyzing characters.”
He smiled at you and fiddled with his sleeve before stepping closer and wrapping his arms around you. You were surprised to say the least, but your arms found their way around him as well and you reveled in his warmth. He stepped back after a moment and let his hands slide down your arms before bringing them back to his sides. “M’sorry, I should’ve-I just-you’re so nice n’I just-thank you.”
You couldn’t help but watch him try to stay afloat as he struggled to explain the hug. He really felt like he did though, because you were just so sweet, possibly the sweetest person he’s ever met, and you wanted to know about him, and his tattoos, and his kitten, and he doesn’t think he’s ever wanted to be with anyone for a hours on end, but he’s already decided that he’d want to be trapped in a room with you for days.
“No need to thank me, get home safe okay?” You smiled at him, reaching out and squeezing his arm and holy shit he’s fit. He looked down at your hand for a moment before smiling big and nodding, parting with a “G’night, I’ll see you Sunday.” before hopping into his car and insisting you walk up first. Rolling your eyes you smirked a bit and started walking up your stairs, turning around and waving at him before he sped off. That was quite possibly the best Friday night you’ve ever had.
｡:°ஐ
Harry was reeling, in the best way possible, but still reeling. After you got together to study on Sunday (and after you both aced the test, which you had given him the largest hug and a kiss on the cheek for), the two of you had hung out almost everyday after.
You met Luna during that following week, and he was expecting her to stay in his bedroom, because Luna didn’t really like new guests all that much, but she had immediately scurried up to you and walked in figure-eights around your feet. Your giggle of excitement was the best thing Harry had ever heard, and he had to take a moment not to squeal out of adoration.
He had opened up to you about, well, a lot. Told you how people just didn’t approach him, which was why he was so off-put when you did, and that he just didn’t want to scare anyone away. You shook your head and sat closer to him on the couch, lifting your hands to pinch his cheeks and pout as you said that he was “the sweetest person” you knew and you had “no idea how anyone could be scared of such a softie.” It was safe to say his face was flushed the entire conversation.
You had also commented on his sweater collection once, and everytime you would shiver, he’d pull off his own sweater and give it to you to wear, even in the courtyard when the weather was reaching 30 degrees. You had refused due to the fact that he would be cold, and eventually he just gave you a sweater you had expressed your liking for. He had handed it to you and you frowned in confusion and said, “Did you bring that just for me?”, because he was already wearing his own, and he had nodded and once you put it on he mumbled, “Keep it.” You did.
It got to the point where the two of you had spent so much time together you introduced him to Niall, to which Niall had commented, “So this is the Harry bloke you’ve been talking about all the time. Nice to meet ya, mate. So, how did you grow your hair out so long?” You had hit his shoulder for embarrassing you, but it seemed Harry didn’t even skip a beat when he started talking about how he had decided to grow his hair out. It was a story you’d heard before, but with Harry speaking, you would listen to the same words over and over again.
When you each went home for winter break, Harry had hugged you tightly and kissed your cheek, telling you that it was only 2 weeks, and the both of you would be back before you knew it. When the two of you weren’t texting, you were calling each other, and he was right, because you had both gotten back yesterday, a day full of hugs of goodbye’s from families, and full of cheek and forehead kisses, along with hugs and cuddles from Harry. You teased him about the gift, a book you had told him was the only one you wanted to read, he mailed you, and he teased you about his gift, a sweater with a hand-stitched (by you) small little moon where the left breast was, for Luna, and posters of his favorite artists, because he didn’t have anything on his walls.
Today was a day of “movies and cookies, it rhymes” as Harry had put it, and you had just knocked on his door, adorned with the sweater he gave you and some sweats. He opened the door almost immediately, a large smile on his face as he brought you in and gave you a large hug, to which you returned. “Missed you.” He mumbled into your shoulder. “I saw you yesterday, dimples.” You said, squeezing him before letting go and poking the indent in his cheek that just got deeper. “I told you I hate that nickname, bunny.” He smirked. “Oh, shove off.” You smiled, making your way to his living room where Luna was curled up on the couch on the right side, close enough to the end that no one could sit there, but close enough to the middle that practically half of his couch was taken.
“Don’t move her,” He said, walking up beside you. “She’s been crazy all day and she's finally relaxing, little devil.” You just shrugged and looked at the cookies he had already set out. “As long as I get these, I don’t mind where she is.”
The two of you settled next to each other on the couch as he chose an old horror movie that you begged not to watch but according to Harry, “S’not even scary, pet. Nothing is realistic, swear.” You just grumbled in defeat as he started to play it and just stuffed cookies into your mouth as you fell against the back of the couch.
Half an hour later, and your head was tucked in Harry’s chest, while your legs fell over his own. His hand was splayed across your back, rubbing up and down gently and mumbled “It’s okay”’s and “I’ve got you”’s while you peeked out to see the giant ant’s taking over. He really couldn’t believe it, you of all people were in his arms at night. He wished it could be every night, and when he heard your breathing slow down he suddenly took it back.
What the hell was he supposed to do?
You hadn’t planned on sleeping over, but just the other day were you complaining about not getting enough sleep because of your “stupid Philosophy professor”, and there was no way in hell Harry was going to wake you up. He hesitated for a moment, before turning off the T.V. because in the time he was deciding on what to do the movie had long stopped playing, and wrapped his other arm under your knees, gently picking you up and taking you to his bed.
He laid you down and tucked you under the covers, grabbing a pillow for himself before making his way to the couch for the night. He made sure to set an alarm to wake up before you did, and make you breakfast.
When you opened your eyes, the last thing you were expected to be met with was a white ceiling with a sleek silver fan nailed in. You sat up groggily, looking around the room to recognize it as Harry’s room. You had only been in here a few times, mostly to scavenge his closet, but you knew his room when you saw it. You swung your legs out of bed, and slowly made your way to the living room, where you were met with a sleeping Harry, spread out on the couch in his sweats, without a shirt. You tried not to linger your gaze on all his tattoos and abs as you walked by him to check the time on your phone. Almost 9 a.m., and by the vibrating phone next to yours, with the same case, you could tell he meant to set an alarm but forgot to turn his ringer on.
He had an alarm set for something, and he never told you what he was doing this morning, so you decided you would wake him up, just in case. You grabbed his shoulder gently, and tried not to think about how warm he was, shaking him gently and calling his name. “Harry…” You said in a sing-songy voice a few times. He pouted in his sleep and grunted a bit, before scrunching his eyes open. He practically jumped back when he saw you and his head fell back against the arm of the couch. Of course he wouldn’t wake up before you. “Morning.” You grinned. “G’morning. M’sorry if you were confused when y’woke up. I just brought y’to my bed cause you fell asleep, n’I was gonna wake up before you but obviously that didn’t work out.”
You just shook your head and smiled, trying not to think about his morning voice. There were a lot of things you had to try not to think about with Harry. “No worries, wanna go grab breakfast at the diner down the street? Heard they have killer hashbrowns.”
And all thanks to you, Harry wonders what he had to worry about in the first place.
After breakfast, you went back to your place, Harry in your living room while you got dressed for the day, changing your sweats to jeans and slipping back out of your room. “Alright, what’s the plan?” You asked, tugging the sleeves of his sweater down to make paws. It wasn’t like Harry hadn’t seen you with his sweater on, but it seemed to make him more flustered everytime you did wear it. He shrugged and looked you up and down quickly. “I like your sweater, where’d y’get it?” He joked, in an attempt to mask his blush.
“From this really cute guy, he just gave it to me one day.” You shrugged, and watched as he bit his bottom lip in an attempt not to smile too much. “Really cute?” He asked as you stepped closer to him. “Mhm, his name is Harry.”
“Please stop.” He said, and you stepped back, confused by his sudden change in emotion. “I’m just joking, Harry.” You said, attempting to save the moment. His bottom lip trembled and he sat down on your couch, his head falling in his hands. “I know, n’I don’t want you t’be.” He mumbled as you sat next to him. He pulled his head out of his hands and looked at you, his heart beating faster than it ever has.
“I really like you, bunny. And I don’t wanna ruin our friendship because you’re the best thing that's happened to me in a really long time, but I cant- I can’t listen to you joke about how you think I’m cute if y’don’t feel the same.”
You swear your heart bursted at his confession. A smile overtook your face and you moved so you were right next to him. You placed your hands on the sides on his face and kissed his nose. “You think I don’t feel the same? For someone so smart, m’surprised you haven’t realized it before,” you said softly, as he looked at you in wonder and shock. “I really like you too.” You leaned in and placed your lips on his, about to pull back when he didn’t respond. He then began to kiss you back and his hands found a home on your hips. When the two of you pulled away, he smiled like a fool and pecked your lips once more.
There was never anything to worry about with you, he was sure of it.
#would you believe me if I told you this took 4 days to write#harry styles imagine#harry styles#harry styles fluff#harry styles one shot
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INVISOBANG - Ectoplasmic Educational Employment (Quirky Danny Fenton The Teacher? More Likely Than You Think!)
And the stellar artists that made art for this little fic o’ mine!:
lanaecomics: ART CHECK IT OUT
AND
Trash Shipper; ART CHECK IT OUT
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Danny isn’t exactly a fresh graduate with a lot of options after Highschool. College wasn’t happening and where the Hell was going to hire him? Mr. Lancer and CasperHigh apparently.
As what? As a teacher. A teacher on the subject of ghosts, because of course everything in Danny’s life will be ghost-related. But maybe ghosts, ghost society at large, and even the goddamn Observants will actually think this is, like, a good? thing. He also, apparently, doesn’t suck at it.
He’s still weird, eccentric, partly dead, and goddamn eighteen though
Prologue: Employing The Unemployable
Danny never really expected to graduate, honest to goodness he did not, yet his chronically-tardy-randomly-disappearing-handing-shit-in-late-or-never ass has managed to get that stupid slip of paper that was nearly basic necessity to get any halfway decent job; which was, frankly, a load of horse crap. Half the shit school taught was useless and most of it he wasn’t going to remember in three days none the less a year from now; or however long it took to find a job that actually required said useless knowledge. Though really? that wasn’t something he actually had to worry about, seeing as there was basically a zero percent chance of him having anything close to something even resembling a ‘normal’ job.
He could work for his folks? Financially lucrative and everything regarding the subject of ghosts has been effectively beaten into his brain by this point. Whether it was due to being around it so often or to save his own hide from his folks' inventions. He could also arguably get a shady as shit job, he was definitely skilled at lying, hiding, sneaking around, playing a role, even stealing and fighting. Plus a subordinate who can shoot energy beams and turn invisible would probably be a mob bosses, or whatever’s, wet dream. But, uh, that was probably not the best idea in the world; especially when Amity didn’t even have mobs and drugs and shit really. And why would they? They had freaking ghosts. Also having hallucinogenics would just be fucking overkill at this point. Plus Vlad already filled the quota for ‘dangerous men in dark suits that smoke cigars and drink whiskey while planning peoples demise or manipulating them like chess pieces".
Getting a job at the Nasty Burger would be easy enough but he’d get fired so fast. Ditto for working at the town’s only hotel or the gas stations or the grocery store or literally anywhere else minimum wage. Honestly, how the fuck do any of those fictional movie heroes have non-heroing related jobs? Excluding the super-rich ones with public identities anyways. Unrealistic. Completely unrealistic.
Sighing and flopping down on his bed, at least his friends didn’t have this issue. Manson’s don’t work and Tuck’s dumbass has hacked every single security and tech company in at least their entire state so they were basically all scrambling to hire his hacker ass. Val has the Nasty Burger -not that she’d be staying there once she graduated- and not to mention having Vlad’s very very deep pockets at her disposal. Speaking of Val though... Danny chuckles up at the ceiling, “honestly it’s funny as Hell that Val got held back but I didn’t. I mean really? How the fuck did that happen?”, shaking his head and laughing quietly a little more. The rest of the Defect Quartet got a good laugh out of that. Sam and Tuck were never at risk of not graduating, it was just Val and his ass that was a worry. Eh whatever. At least Dash’s dumbass got held back too; not seeing that jocks blonde mug at graduation was goddamn euphoric. It truly, truly was.
Well for now, all Danny can really do is wait, enjoy not having to wake up at the ass crack of dawn to go to school, and hope his folks don’t start go getting on his ass to get work that’s ‘normal’ so he has the experience. To be fair, him knowing what it’s like to work at a normal job would normally be a damn good idea, if he wasn’t a literal superhero who also just so happens to be kinda dead. Dead people shouldn’t have to work in his opinion, but life and deaths not fair so whatever. At least his poor abused bed was soft as shit though, that was something.
Danny nearly jumps out of his skin when his mom knocks on the door, jerking him out of his thoughts, “sweetie! It’s Mr. Lancer! He wants to talk to you!”. Oh Ancients fuck, why? Hopefully, graduation comes with a no tack backsies rule or something because that would be just his luck. Danny swings up his legs and gets up off his bed, mildly shouting, “coming!”. Popping open his door while his mom gives him a seriously judgemental ‘you better not have done something stupid’ raised eyebrow as she hands him the phone; him smiling sheepishly as he takes the phone and re-closes his bedroom door.
Eyeballing the phone with just a mild amount of apprehension before putting it to his ear, “yeah? What’s up, Lance?”.
“Hello Daniel, how’s life as a graduate treating you?”.
Danny chuckles, “that depends on whether or not you’re about to tell me I didn't actually graduate and some kind of wild and unlikely mistake popped up”.
Lancer actually laughs lightly at that, “no nothing like that, you graduated fairly, Daniel. Though considering your poor attendance I’m not surprised you’d be suspicious”. Danny grins to himself a little at that but fuck, not his fault man. Not his fault... Technically. “I was actually wondering how job searching is treating you. Working for your parents seems... less than safe even if that seems like the obvious choice for you”.
Danny nods to himself and chuckles, too true there. Smirking a little, “oh if anyone knows how dangerous FentonWorks is, it’s me”. Sometimes he’s honestly amazed no one’s ever called CPS on him or anything. FentonWorks was a death trap waiting to happen, literally; him being walking proof and all that. Shrugging to himself, “and you know I’m not exactly suited for a nine to five, Lance”, and he’s not even going to mention the fact that Vlad would hire him in a heartbeat because that is so not happening no matter how ‘good-ish’ the man was nowadays. Working for him would be a dangerous game no matter how Danny looked at it; for both of them.
“I don’t think I could even imagine you working an office job or as a cashier. But if not nine to five, then how about noon to three?”.
Danny blinks at that, huh? “um what?”, shaking his head a little and blinking again, “short shift there but you know me, how often did I ever stay in class for the full forty minutes, or whatever?”.
“Fifty-five, Daniel, And I’m sure you could stay for an hour given the right encouragement and approach”.
Danny sighs and tilts his head back, “I don’t need money that badly, man, geez”, shaking his head, “what are you even suggesting though?”. Is Lancer seriously offering him a job? Where even? Short as shit hours though, which technically worked well-ish for him. He never has a consistent time slot where no ghosts show up though.
“Well I’m sure your parents have heard about the ecto-ology class the school board decided to pass”, Lancer grumbling seemingly to himself, “long time coming if you ask me, too long”, speaking up a bit, “your class should have had it, not that you needed it”.
Danny snorts, fair point there, “yeah I could probably have taught it better than the damn teacher”, blinking, wait a fucking minute, “Lancer what the fuck. Are you asking me to teach it???”. What the actual shit. Sure, he could do it, technically, but still. The fuck, shaking his head, “don’t you, you know, need schooling to be a teacher? And come on, I am the exact opposite of teacher material, or whatever”. Seriously, the Hell. The Ancients are probably actively mocking him right now. That or Danny’s totally wrong and making a complete ass of himself.
“You’re irresponsible and... eccentric, yes, but you’re intelligent and excitable about your interests; and really, a teacher is someone who’s hyper interested and passionate about their field of education”, Danny can almost hear a smirk in Lancer’s voice, “don’t even try to tell me you’re not passionate about ecto-ology, I’ve overheard more than enough conversations between you and your friends to know otherwise. Though yes, the number of times I’ve heard you mention ghost jail was more than a little concerning. Especially when it sounded like it was personal on-the-inside experience”.
Danny blinks, “Lance, you frighten me. Now I’m seriously wondering even more why the school never called on my folks, or whatever”. This just in, apparently a vice principal was perfectly willing to just ignore a student going to jail in an alternate dimension. Repeatedly.
“As if that would actually help. Your parents are good, if crazy and negligent, people. And I have a feeling you’re perfectly capable of getting into trouble without their involvement. So what do you say? It’s completely within my power to hire you on the spot”.
Danny pulls the phone away from his cheek and makes wild hand gestures at it, again what the fuck. Though yeah, his folks aren’t half bad, excluding the whole ectophobia thing. Scrunching up his face at his phone before returning it to his cheek, “uh thanks? You know, for not getting my folks in shit”, shaking his head and smirking a little, “so you know a lot of the trouble is just me being me and you’re inviting me to once again spend five days a week at one of the local ghost hotspots? Do you like suffering, Lance?”.
That actually gets a laugh out of the vice-principal, “the ghosts certainly keep things interesting but no, hiring you instead of your parents would reduce the chaos. Your parents are far bigger trouble makers than you ever have been”.
“That feels like a challenge”. Danny absolutely smirks to himself over the sigh that comment gets him before continuing, “though yeah, my dad plus the school five days a week sounds like you’d be actively begging the universe to blow up the entire place while simultaneously covering it in green goo and maybe accidentally teleporting it to an alternate dimension. To be fair, dad’s only managed that twice on the house so far”. And his mom still won’t let the man live down either event, understandable. Sighing, his parents being walking collateral damage machines was useful in school since it kept nearly every teacher from calling them in, but now it was mildly biting him in the ass. Though now that he’s thinking about... who else could the school call in? Val was still in school and the school didn’t officially know about her ‘extracurricular activities’ -though Danny would bet an entire model rocket that most of the teachers knew or at least had a very very good guess- so she was out. Then there was the G.I.W. which... just no. Fuck no. Super bad idea. So that just left his ass, and fine, arguably it would be a decent enough job and Lancer wasn’t exactly wrong about Danny knowing his shit and being a bit excitable about ghosts. He couldn’t help it alright? He was raised on it and actually excelled at it. Plus, he was a ghost; knowing was survival. Plus plus, having someone who isn’t ectophobic teach the ghost class would probably be a good idea. Val was better but... she tried to use the Box Ghost’s face as a battering ram because her closet door got stuck last week, ‘nough said. Sighing again, “okay fine, I think you’re inviting disaster but all your other options would also do that”.
Lancer laughs lightly and sips something, probably tea knowing the man, “agreed. So you’ve got the summer to come up with a curriculum, nothing too serious for the first semester so I’m sure you can handle it”. Danny scowls audibly, though fine how much harder could making a teaching thingy be than overthrowing corrupt ghost government/royals? Fuck him entirely. “Don’t worry, I’ll send over some useful tips and tricks, a little guide; because you are right, typically teachers go to school to learn how to teach”.
Danny gives one very sarcastic and deadpanned, “you don’t say”, in response to that. Great, now he’s got homework over summer, just really weird homework that’ll technically include creating homework for other people. Weeee. Fun. Ugh. But hey, maybe this’ll actually not suck. Shaking his head and chuckling a little, “you know, I’m starting to think you might actually like me, Lance”.
Lancer simply laughs faintly at that. “How about we meet up sometime next week and I’ll see how far you’ve gotten and your ideas”.
Danny leans his head back, “ugh fine”, grumbling to himself, “oh Ancients I’m ‘hanging out’ with my old teacher, fuck me”, and hangs up though more than a little sure that Lancer probably heard that last bit.
Danny rubs his eyes in circles after a bit, sighing again, and picks up his cellphone.
thealiveone: guess who got a job offer first? Suck it tuck
PDAxpda : bullshit, where????
thealiveone: lets just say that lance decided I needed to see things from my poor teachers persepectives
PDAxpda: oh god XD poor casperhigh
Nightshade: So youre becoming part of the ststem? Really Danny?
Nightshade: but with fhosts
PDAxpda: ha! You’re becoming your parents!
thealiveone: HEY! AM NOT!
thealiveone: ...kinda
thealiveone: but hey, ghost teachin bout ghoss. Love the irony
Nightshade: 🙄
thealiveone: ancients be happy for a guy why dontcha geez
thealiveone: even if it’s stupid
thealiveone: and I’ll totally wind up having to ditch and be late and shit
PDAxpda: typical you
thealiveone: 😢
Nightshade: fine but at least be a quirky ‘teacher’ and not some lame rule follower ass
thealiveone: me? Not be quirky? Fuckin riiiiiiiight
PDAxpda: *snort*
thealiveone: anywhay
thealiveone: think I should do a bit on ghost hunger just to make lance regret his chocoes?
Nightshade: 🤦🏻♀️
PDAxpda: YES!!!
thealiveone: 😏
Danny had ideas now, and he was about to make them EVERYBODY'S PROBLEM. As he should.
Chapter 2: Cursed From Entry Level
Today was the day, yup it certainly was; Danny side-eyes his ghost-shaped alarm clock. The first Monday of a new school year; which normally shouldn’t mean shit to him since he graduated and all that but fuck his dumbass agreed to turn around and come right back as a goddamn teacher. Why did he do that? That was stupid. Well not really but now that it’s a little past eleven and he has to actually get up, get dressed, and go do the thing that he agreed to do. Fuck. Responsibilities suck. And if anyone’s allowed to say that it’s him, superhero responsibilities kinda outclass all others so suck it. Sighing and flopping an arm over his eyes, had he been smart and bought teacher clothes? No. Or prepared an introduction speech thingy? Also no. Or even bothered to tell literally anyone other than his friends and family that he now worked at CasperHigh? Definitely no, let the fuckers be surprised. He had, however, printed out copies of the syllabus; which fine, was largely because Lancer nagged him about it so much that he did it out of spite. Danny bets being manipulative was totally something taught in teacher school; not that Danny really particularly needed to be taught that… especially when he could just go to Vlad for that kind of ‘tutoring’, not that he actually would. Regardless, he now officially had to get up.
Sighing very loudly into his arm before moving to push himself up and walk over to his closet; did any of his shit qualify as ‘professional’? Haha fuck no. But oh well, screw it. Might as well lean into this ghost teacher thing and the ’Fenton’s are eccentric weirdos’ thing. Time for a ‘I Got A Boo Boo On My Funny Bone Isn’t That Very Humerus?’ sweater and some crust punk pants that are more patches than fabric. He is so not wearing a tie or bow tie though, bandana? Shrugging he nabs up a little alien one that had only a couple small ectoplasm stains, “if anyone asks, lab accident”, and smirks to himself while tying the thing around his neck, shrugging, then heading downstairs for breakfast.
His dad looks up and grins, waving a hand while the other’s still tinkering away on some gun, “morning Danno! Heading off to school?”, tilting his head and chuckling heartily, “or to teach, I should say!”.
Danny rolls his eyes but smiles and chuckles, moving to grab out the cereal, “yup, bet it’s gonna be interesting. My poor fellow teachers”, Danny absolutely smirks at that, because damn they’re gonna hate Lancer for a while once they realise they’re stuck with him for who knows how long. Sure he’ll only be actually there for, like, what an hour or two or so? Eh something like that. He honestly hopes Lancer didn’t tell all the teachers because he absolutely wants to see all of them look at him, do a double-take, and sigh in resigned defeat and pain. Danny can’t help snickering a bit to himself as he eats his food and his dad goes back to tinkering; though with a far bigger grin on his face.
Danny actually manages to get out the door just as his mom’s coming up from the lab, her waving at him erratically, “have a good day at work, sweetie!”, she sounds more than just a little excited to be saying ‘work’ in regards to him. Did make some sense, seeing as he didn’t exactly have any kind of real job opportunities. At least neither of them tried to insist on driving him there, letting him get in a good midday fly instead; one of these days they are seriously going to wonder how the heck he gets places so fast without driving.
-
Landing behind the school in his usual spot Danny takes a few steps back and just kinda stares up at the building for a hot minute, “I don’t know whether this feels nostalgic, daunting, or just surreal”, shaking his head, “well I guess I just better get to it, everyone should be in class right now... right?”, tilting his head as he turns invisible and intangible, stepping through the wall, “how the fuck have I already forgotten the schedule? Ancients”. Thankfully there is, in fact, not a single person and/or spirit in the hallway. He even effectively avoids everyone on his way to the teachers' lounge and successfully uses the key Lancer gave him to get in. Of course, it’s not empty inside though, expected honestly.
Danny pokes his head in and immediately spots Mr. CampBell and grins wickedly, “heeeey”; and the teacher damn near jumps out of his skin before snapping his head around to the door. Mr. CampBell visually recoils, “oh god why are you here?”.
Score! Lancer absolutely did not tell the staff. Danny snickering as he waltzes in, “oh don’t you know? Lancer hired me”. Mr. CampBell turns away and sighs very loudly, Danny absolutely hearing the whispered, “why? I thought William actually liked his coworkers”. Danny only snickers meanly as Lancer walks out from around one of the corners, “we needed an ecto-ology teacher, he’s a perfectly reasonable choice, Joseph”. Huh, so that’s CampBell’s first name. Lancer then turning to Danny and handing him off a coffee cup, gesturing to the corner he just walked out around, “there’s more in the kitchen, since I’m well aware you practically live on the stuff”.
Danny blinks, grins, and moans comically, “oh my Ancients, there’s free coffee in here”.
Lancer quirks an eyebrow faintly at that, “I did tell you”.
Danny shrugs, “eh I thought you were just trying to sweeten the deal for me, Lance”, then taking a sip, “pretty weak shit though”. Lancer quirks his eyebrow further, “it’s free, Daniel”. Danny rolls his eyes, “yeah well, I think I’ll bring in some Deathwish”.
Joseph gives him one very concerned look, “is that an official real coffee or something your crazy parents made?”, he sounds more than a little hesitant for the answer there. Good. Danny smirks, “oh it’s real, and lives up to the name, drinking the cold brew might actually kill you from botulism. The regular coffee is only the world’s strongest stuff though”, then finger-gunning at the man.
Lancer shakes his head as he sits down on the couch, “you concern me some days”, pursing his lips, “most days”, then sips at his coffee. Joseph shakes his head, “I’m just going to head to my classroom”, pointing at Lancer, “you keep that demon child’s classroom consistent, I do not want that ectoplasm stuff getting mixed with Charles’s science nerd stuff”, and throws Danny a scowl before leaving.
Lancer shakes his head before looking to Danny, “your classroom is going to be consistent though, considering I know exactly how often your homework had to be put in biohazard instead of the filing cabinets”. Danny rubs his neck a bit sheepishly at that while Lancer leans forwards, arms on his knees, “do you have everything ready? I could sit in on your first few classes if you’d like”.
Danny snorts, “somehow I think that would just get me mocked, Lance”, smirking, “but that depends on how much you want to leave me unsupervised with a bunch of teens and ectoplasmic substances”.
“You’re... not bringing out ectoplasm on the first day, are you?”.
Danny snickers, “maybe...”. Lancer sighs very loudly but Danny decides to take some amount of pity on the man, “mostly I brought ecto-proofing stuff since I don’t think you want to be replacing stuff a bajillion times. Anyway, can I paint the whiteboard ectophobic green? I mean the ectophobic bit laterally”. Lancer only sighs louder but does nod while putting his face in his hand. Smart man. Danny should probably just go ahead and do that immediately though, the walls and desks and stuff can happen later or fuck he can just make it an assignment because why the fuck not?!? Danny downing the rest of the coffee, clapping his legs, and getting up, “whelp I’mma go do that then”. Lancer speaking up just before he gets to the door, “I will be checking in on you, but feel free to call or ‘text away’ if you need anything”. Danny cringes a little but nods.
Are the hallways empty this time? Nope. Does Danny’s mere presence cause a bunch of whispering as he’s heading to his assigned classroom? Absolutely. Everyone knew who the Fenton’s were, he himself might have techically been a ‘loser weirdo’ but he was also simultaneously popular in the infamous kinda way, especially at school. Most of the comments -that his wonderful ghostly hearing let’s him pick up on easily- are along the lines of ‘guess he didn’t graduate, no surprise there’ or ‘why the fuck’s he here?’, some of the freshmen react with mock horror though so that’s amusing. When Danny gets to his designated room he absolutely spends his before class time painting the board and just throws the rest of his stuff on the provided desk. He is not a tidy person and that is so not gonna change.
He was, however, so not prepared for Val to walk through the door first though. Her and Danny making eye contact, Danny blinking, “‘kay why the fuck would you be here?”. She gives him a dumb look, “hey you yourself, Danny”, then scrunches up her face and sags, “oh my Zone, you are seriously the teacher? You were serious about that? We’re all gonna die”. Danny just smirks while she slumps down in a desk, him scribbling his name on the board quickly; Ancients if anyone calls him ‘Mr. Fenton’ he’ll gag. Speaking of gagging though, putting his class right after lunch was probably not the smartest move on the principal's part. Gives him the perfect excuse to do something weird and just eat ectoplasm or something.
Valerie bangs her head on the desk before looking back up to him, putting her chin in a palm, “though I guess I am kinda curious what the heck you’ll teach with this, you’re always so tightlipped about ghost stuff”.
Danny chuckles and shakes his head a little, glancing back to her before turning around to sit down in his provided chair, not nearly enough burn holes yet to actually feel like his though. He’ll have to fix that, “with you. We don’t exactly see eye to eye on things”. She scoffs at that and rolls her eyes, but other fellow teens are coming in so she doesn’t give him any kind of actual response.
Every single teen does at least a slight pause at seeing Danny in the teacher's chair before taking seats. some say nothing, some swear lightly, others groan, and then there’s goddamn Dash??? Why was that jock taking this class? Better yet, why did it have to be Danny’s luck that Dash would even want to.
“Well if it isn’t Fenturd”. At least half the class snickers or coughs to cover laughs.
Danny glares at the jock, “I can give detentions now, don’t be stupid”, smirking, “or I can just designate you as the ‘helping hand’ and you can handle all the ectoplasmic shit I am absolutely going to bring in”. Dash takes his seat real quick after that while Val’s busy snickering at his expense.
Danny leans back in his chair as the bell goes off, “whelp, guess this is happening now”. Valerie puts her head down and laughs a little, a couple other teens laughing a little themselves while Danny continues, “okay, so obviously I’m the teacher, which honestly? more than a few of you should have seen that one coming”, nodding to himself, “now in case you somehow do not know who I am and also somehow missed Dash being an ass and calling me ‘Fenturd’, I’m Danny Fenton the youngest Fenton, and yeah I’m your teacher because literally no one else is remotely qualified or safe enough to do this”.
More than a few people mutter ‘that's fair’ or something similar. His folks being walking talking time bombs wasn’t exactly a secret and the G.I.W. were honestly more dangerous than the ghosts.
Danny chuckles to himself, digs in his backpack and gets up, “and also, in case you didn’t even bother to look at the class you agreed to take or what was written on the class schedule thingy”, Danny cups the little semi-solid ball of ectoplasm and slaps it on the whiteboard, it spattering across neon green and glowing, “welcome to Ecto-ology! And that!-”, pointing at the green splattered board, “-that’s ectoplasm!”, then shaking a jar of SignalShines -little tiny firefly-like blob ghosts- on the little tray attached to the whiteboard typically used for the markers, “and that’s some ghosts! Some very tiny ghosts”.
Valerie snorts and laughs, muttering, “oh no”, into her hand. Since she obviously figured out that Danny wasn’t going to even attempt at being a ‘normal fucking teacher’. Most of the class snickers and starts laughing after a bit, that or eyeballing the ectoplasm splatter/ghost-filled jar. Danny waving the board and everything off limply, “I ecto-proofed the whiteboard already so don’t bother calling the ecto-hazard line”, then making a point to sound ominous and mildly threatening, “they won’t come”. Which absolutely gets him more laughs and a couple shivers, seeing as he could actually legit pull off scary if he felt like it. Perks of being a ghost and ridiculously highly combative and confrontational.
Danny absolutely hands the syllabus paper stack to Dash to hand out, largely as payback for the name-calling. “So since this year this class is only an optional elective, being a trial run and all that, lets do the whole introduce-yourselves-even-though-I-already-know-who-you-all-are thing with why you took this class and, for funsies, who’s your favourite ghost”. Dash does give him a dirty look, which Danny smirks over, but what follows is people saying their names and giving reasons and shit.
Danny decides to smear around the whiteboard ectoplasm to write down ghost names and tally up how many people say that ghost. Is it mostly Phantom? Yes; even Val votes for him but that’s understandable since she actually got along with Phantom, for the most part, these days. Somehow the Box Ghost earns the second most tallies, Ember’s in third not all that surprising, and two people actually threw a vote Johnny’s way. As for why people took the class?
Well Valerie claims she wants to know more about ghosts and leaves it at that, earning some eye-rolls from the class seeing as everyone knew how she felt about the spookies. Dash took it because a Fenton was teaching, which is information Danny doesn’t know what to do with; what the fuck does that mean? And everyone else? To learn about ghosts (sure), for self-defence (good reason actually. Practical), better than the other electives (fair and probably accurate), easy grade (or so they think... maybe), because it absolutely was going to be chaotic (hundred percent yes). Danny’s content and smirking just a little bit.
Danny sits on the corner of his desk -why not?- and waves a hand around limply, “alright, semi-proper introduction of myself. I’m sure pretty much all of you are damn well aware of FentonWorks and it being basically the only ecto-tech company -besides the ever overpriced Dalvco- and that it is responsible for all the shields and ecto-weapons and all that jazz in town. Surprise surprise, I’ve worked on or outright built a lot of that stuff”, sounding incredibly sarcastic, “truly shocking, I know”, earning him a couple snickers/laughs. “Now you might think that since my folks literally invented the stuff and are some of the only published scientists in the field of ecto-ology that they’re more qualified to do this teacher thing, ignoring the fact that they would probably blow the classroom up or accidentally get everyone teleported into the ghost Zone randomly”, pointing at the class, “not an exaggeration”, before continuing properly, “but guess what? They've never actually explored the Zone or sat down and actually talked to a ghost”, putting a hand to his chest, “I, however, have. So yeah, qualified”; and snaps his fingers a bit dramatically.
James mutters, “not sure that actually means qualified”; and he’s not the only one. Expected, seeing as Danny was not actually qualified to be a teacher obviously.
Danny sticks up a finger, “I have no teacher qualifications though, but Lance decided he just does not care”, getting up and walking to the board, moving around the ectoplasm, “and as for my fav ghostie, you’ve never heard of them”, and scrawls out ‘ClockWork’ on the list of favourite ghosts. Turning back to the class, “ClockWork’s existence is mildly forbidden knowledge, so have fun with-”, Haley shrieking interrupts and most of the class going wide-eyed gets him to turn around and see the very well done drawing of ClockWork looking right at Danny with a glare, there is an ‘I’m flattered, Daniel’ written under it though so... Danny can’t help but bend over wheezing a little, “oh I so saw that coming!”, shaking his head and chuckling, “or something similar at least”. Okay he expected to get smacked over the head with an invisible staff out of nowhere, not a passive-aggressive yet still somehow fond drawing. Straightening up and turning back to the class while whipping at his eye, “y’all signed up for this, remember that”.
Danny sits down and starts going over the syllabus, because that’s what he’s supposed to do, but Jesse interrupts him halfway through, “are we just ignoring everything that just happened with the magic drawing?”. Danny looking at him and smirking, “a good rule of thumb in life is when the literal god of time chastises you, you move on immediately. Just good life advice if you want to keep doing the whole living thing”. Expectedly that gets him a lot of staring. Danny rolls his wrist around, “that Vortex ghost is also a god by the by. Same with UnderGrowth. Pandora’s a minor god technically”, tilting his head, “then there’s the whole mess of Pariah who’s pretty much just a way worse version of Hades”, smirking, “Amity’s seen some big names in the ghost world”.
“What the fuck”.
Danny just snickers at that while Valerie puts her head in her hands and shakes it.
Surprisingly the rest of the class is seemingly going normally, Lancer did stick his head in and eyeball the whiteboard which Danny gave him a ‘what did you expect from me? Honestly’ smirk for, and surprisingly no one decided to ask Danny how the actual fuck he knew the time god if they even believed him on that anyway. But maybe five minutes before class is over, Danny’s ghost sense goes off, because of fucking course, but it just feels like Boxy. So Danny, smirking, checks his phone to use as some kind of excuse for how he knows the Box Ghost’s here, gets up and goes to the window, opening it up, sticking his head out, and shouting, “HEY BOXY!”. That, of course, gets the ghost's attention immediately, who does his scary fingers thing, “YOU DARE DRAW THE ATTENTION OF THE MOST FEARSOME GHOST IN EXISTENCE! THE BOX GHOST!”. Danny just rolls his eyes, points towards the whiteboard in the classroom and shouts back, “WE DID A POLL! YOU'RE THE SECOND MOST FAVOURITE GHOST!”. The Box Ghost stares at him for a bit, goes a little wide-eyed, floats towards the ground, and starts crying. Danny pulls his head back in while cackling, looking back to the class, “congrats, we’ve just made the Box Ghost cry”; which absolutely makes everyone start laughing as the bell goes off. Danny smirking more, “I feel very accomplished with myself”.
Surprisingly most of his freaking students actually wave him goodbye, which is weird as heck but also kinda cool, Dash just scowls at him though; get fucked dick-weed. Val stays behind a bit, expected, and sits on the corner of his desk, “so this is really happening, huh?”.
“Yup. Guess so”, leaning back in his chair a little, “you gonna turn this into a debate club or?”, chuckling, “though I doubt you’ll actually learn a whole lot”. She nods at that, “I could probably teach this myself”, grumbling, “if I wasn’t still stuck as a student”, sighing, “I’m not gonna argue in class though, I know you’re ghost friendly, Danny, that’s gonna show obviously”, shrugging and smirking a little, “I just might need a little bit more proof before I take your word on something”.
“Just for that I’m going to bring in Cujo next class”.
“You wouldn’t”.
Danny smirks, “try me. He’ll really liven up the lesson on classifications of ghost types. Truly he is one of the best examples of an animal ghost”. She sounds downright offended, “then bring in a freaking ectopuss! Not the life-ruining dog!”.
“But everyone loves dogs, Val”, Danny smirks, “besides, ectopusses aren’t proper animal ghosts, they’re a type of blob ghost”. She grumbles a bit incoherently before muttering, “dick”, and leaving for her next class; leaving Danny chuckling.
(And Valerie absolutely spent the next day’s class glaring bloody murder at a tiny green puppy, inspiring slight fear and concern in her classmates; Danny just looked progressively more smug which only made his students more concerned).
-
Before Danny actually managed to leave the school, since he didn’t actually have to be there outside of his one class though something tells him that if the ecto-ology trial run works out then he’ll be stuck ‘teaching’ it two or three times a day. Ugh but also so much potential chaos. Anyway, Lancer catches up to him, sounding just slightly out of breath, “your first teaching experience go well, Daniel?”.
Danny smirks, “brought a ghost to tears, only made one mild ecto-hazard, and possibly annoyed a few thousand ghost cops; so good day actually”. Lancer stares at him a little, “should I be concerned”. Reasonable question.
“Maybe”, Danny chuckles, “to be fair, me teaching people about ghosts was absolutely going to piss off the eyeballs, said eyeballs are some ghost cops, it’s complicated”, chuckling a little though sounding/being a bit serious, “technically I really am the best choice for this, I know more than my folks or the G.I.W. do by miles”, smiling softly and a bit pitying a little, “and I know somethings that the living aren’t exactly supposed to”.
Lancer eyes him and shakes his head slightly, “I know, Daniel. I know”. Danny absolutely quirks an eyebrow at that because what the Hell does Lancer mean by that? So he just gives a simple, “oh?”, for a response; weak as shit but it’ll have to do. Lancer nods, “I’m not as oblivious as I let the students think, so yes I know. Though try to keep your, ghost activities let’s say, outside of the classroom? Don’t bring students into your spat with ghost cops”.
Danny actually coughs, again what the fuck. Shaking his head a little bug-eyed, “again, you scare me, Lance”, shaking his head again, “though no, their problem with me is the fact that I exist, so”, and shrugs; Danny is still a little goddamn thrown here. Lancer sighs, “I guess I should have expected that. And I’ll admit to having some questions about that, but-”, putting a hand on Danny’s shoulder, “-I don’t truly need an answer there”. Danny, for a lack of knowing what else to do, finger guns; Lancer looks less than impressed.
Chapter 3: Ghosts In The Know
It takes a total of three days for a ghost to actually show up during Danny’s designated class time -the Box Ghost and ClockWork’s sudden appearances don’t count- and while Danny’s fairly certain Lancer at least has some kind of guess about the whole Phantom thing Danny’s not going to just go ghost in goddamn class; that would have been dumb when he was a student and it would only be dumber to do as a freaking teacher. At least as a student he didn’t have a class worth of people somewhat staring at him. But hey at least he had just been facing the whiteboard when his breath decided to be all icy fog, that was something; him watching it frost up the board for a couple of seconds and attempting to verbally steamroll right over the random sudden pause in his speaking. He also absolutely can hear Val’s scanner do its little proximity warning beep.
“-but we’re not talking about Cores today even if that’s unique to proper ghosts, so not getting into that right now”. Turning around and putting down the marker, seeing as he can’t exactly just let Skulker go running around. “Now I’ll be right back”, he almost says ‘bathroom’ but as a teacher he doesn’t need to do that shit anymore, he doesn’t have to justify himself to fucking nobody. But just before he gets to the door he points at Val, who’s mouth is slightly open and is definitely absolutely about to ask if she can go, so he smirks, “and no. You can’t”. She looks so confused and a bit freaked out that he can’t help laughing. He does catch James mutter, “did he just pull his bathroom thing? Seriously?”; which just makes Danny laugh to himself even more as he ducks off around a corner to transform.
He doesn’t have to go very far seeing as Skulker was practically directly outside of the area where his classroom was, looking supremely confused and quirking a robotic eyebrow with his arms crossed at Danny, “really, whelp?”. Danny flips him off and shoots him one in the face pretty well immediately, which starts off their standard combat. Skulker shooting off a rocket with a snide and definitely meant to be insulting comment of, “never would have pegged you for teaching or for telling humans our secrets”.
Danny near shouting back with a snort, “secrets my ass! Shove a floppy disk in it!”. That very predictably gets him a more well-aimed rocket to the face.
-
Meanwhile, in the classroom, Jesse glances around, “should we even be surprised?”.
“No but since he’s, you know, the teacher, I’m pretty sure he shouldn’t be playing hooky or whatever”.
Valerie snorts, “oh as if Lancer didn’t know what he was getting into here. Besides Danny was never going to be a normal anything”. Dash smirks and laughs meanly, “no shit, damn freak”. Valerie absolutely throws an eraser at him for that.
“I’m more curious how he predicted Valerie pulling her own bathroom thing”.
“Obvious answer there, he does it so he knows it”.
“Damn, got a point”.
Valerie grumbles and crosses her arms, “and here I thought he’d be totally cool with that”. Emilie laughing, “yeah you’d think, especially if he was going to keep doing it”. Todd pushes himself to stand up with a smirk, “Well I vote we go through his desk, this is Danny after all”; more than a few people look curious, some look cautious though.
Valerie blinking, before smirking and laughing to herself, “yes, go right ahead, do that, see what happens”. That earns even more cautious looks. Valerie knew Danny, had been in his house and room, she knew exactly what kind of state those two places were in. His desk drawers were absolutely boobytrapped. Todd, however, doesn’t give a shit, and just shrugs while moving up to said desk.
Valerie isn’t even slightly surprised when a bunch of snakes-in-a-can pop out of the very first drawer Todd opens, they’re all green because of course they are. Todd mutters a slightly startled, “fuck”, and kicks one of the snakes.
“HA! Suck it, Todd”.
James shakes his head, eyeing the green fake snakes, “I have a feeling that everything in this class is going to be ghost-themed”. Valerie rolls her eyes, “obviously, have you somehow missed the ghost-themed clothing? Or the fact that Danny is, and has always been, a damn pun machine?”. Over half the class groans or chuckles. Valerie rolling her hand and leaning back, “pretty sure he was wearing a pair of Sam’s platforms today, the ones with little plastic green ghosts shaking around inside”. Dash mutters almost absently, “huh, so that’s why he seems taller today”.
“Dash... why are you noticing his freaking height”.
“Shut up, Jesse. I can’t physically shove him in lockers anymore but I sure as shit can imagine it”.
Valerie sighs very loudly at that, but at least Dash wasn’t quite stupid enough to try bullying a teacher. Even if that teacher was Danny and the same age as him. Which, talk about wild. She honestly did not believe Danny for a second when he said he would be teaching at CasperHigh and yet here he was. Teaching. It was definitely weird, but at least nothing had blown up yet. Hopefully Phantom went and dealt with Skulker though, she’d think Danny would be one who let people leave whenever, guess not. Her scowling a little over that. Todd opening up another drawer and a black and white ghost popping their head out jerks her right out of her head though. Todd falling on his ass and scrambling back, “holy shit! What the fuck!”.
James blinks and wheezes, standing up like basically everyone else, “Danny had a whole ass ghost in his desk, what?!?”. Said ghost floats up, looks around, and waves; while the entire class just stands there, many with ecto-pistols drawn at this point.
“I’m picking up a lot of hostility here, busters”.
Todd grumbles, “you have got to be shitting me”. The ghost tilts their head, “I don’t think Phantom would like that very much. Totally not tubular”. Valerie facepalms and lowers her small blaster, “you’re that old ghost that haunts one of Danny’s old lockers, aren’t you”. The ghost gives her a thumbs up, “that’s the dealio!”.
“... and why were you just in his desk drawer?”.
The ghost crosses their skinny arms and huffs, “when I picked up on the Ha-Danny being here again I had to make sure that buster wasn’t up to his bully ways again”. Dash actually burst out laughing and drops back into his seat at that, “Fenton?!? A bully?!? Man what are you smoking?!?”; which the ghost gives him a very strange look for.
“Poindexter, by the Ancients, how many times do I have to tell you that I wasn’t being a bully, I was getting back at one. Geez”. The entire class goes still and snaps their heads around to Danny, who’s just casually walking in. Dash muttering, “I knew that twerp was the one screwing with me”.
Poindexter rolls his eyes, “like I believe that, buster. Someone would have to be a real dummy to do that to you”. Danny very obviously glares at the ghost, “I said that Dash is a bully, not that he’s smart”. Dash scowls very audibly, “I’ll make you eat those words, Fentit”. Danny instantly holds up a pink detention slip and smirks, while Dash very obviously holds back shouting expletives at him. The ghost just looks confused. Danny turning to the ghost, having to look up a little as he takes his seat, “like I said, not smart”. Dash just scowls while Danny continues speaking but while looking at the class instead of the ghost, “so where were we?”.
Amber blinks, “are we just ignoring the ghost that popped out of your desk?”; while everyone starts sitting back down slowly.
Danny quirking an eyebrow at the ghost, “why, man?”. While Amber tosses up her hands and sits back down too.
“I was looking for anything suspicious. Never know with you”.
Emilie chuckles to herself, “I like how ghosts apparently find him as suspicious as people do”. Earning her a few nods.
Dash rolls his eyes, “oh like what, ghost-themed pencils? A change of underwear in case his own class scares him?”. Danny starting to hold up another pink slip shuts the jock up real quick. Poindexter looks genuinely surprised and turns to Danny, “hold the phone, you sayin’ that rumour that everyone thinks you’re afraid of ghosts is actually the real deal???”. Danny just sighs, “it was a very good and effective way out of my folks trying to make a hunter of me”. While practically half the class shouts, “THAT WAS FAKE!”, including one stunned Dash who had thought he was being so smart and cruel by taking full advantage of Danny’s ‘fear’.
Danny chuckles and looks around, “yup. Sorry not sorry”. Lancer picks that very moment to stick his head in, looking at the ghost then Danny, “Daniel...”.
Danny sighs and waves him off, “I know, it’s just Poindexter though. He’s here somewhere in the school almost every day and has been for, like, decades. Longer than I’ve been alive at least. He’s just seldom visible. Here’s his haunt”. Lancer sighs, “very well”, and just leaves; clearly not wanting to deal with all of that.
James blinks, “so, uh, is he going to stay or? And how the heck did you, but not the school, know about him?”. Poindexter huffs, crosses his arms, and seemingly vanishes; Danny, however, watches the transparent teen ghost just sort of float to the back of the class while making ‘I’ve got my eyes on you’ finger motions at Danny. Danny rolling his eyes while responding, “maybe, maybe not. And you know that locker that’s rumoured to be haunted that I was randomly assigned to for a while? Yeah that’s totally true. We’ll talk about lair cores later. There was also a mild body-swapping incident”.
“Excuse me?”.
Danny points at James, “I have been through some shit, man. Body swapping with a ghost was less weird and more annoying though”. The entire class just stares at him which he takes as a chance to get back to the lesson plan. “So as I was saying...”.
-
Valerie winds up approaching him after the bell, “you know one of these days I’m going to figure out what the Zone that nickname that ghosts have for you is”. Danny quirks an eyebrow, because of course Poindexter probably nearly called him ‘the halfa’ since that’s what Poindexter literally always called him. Smirking at her, “I don’t doubt that, Val. Just like someday you’ll be fully honest about your, ahem, extracurricular activities”, and chuckles while she rolls her eyes. Her muttering, “oh whatever. Anyway, wanna go to a movie after school or are you too busy with teacher duties”.
Danny huffs, “as if. I only do one class you know, so sure why not”. Lancer picks that moment to stick his head in again, “actually you need to finalise that first assignment, also you do realise that as a teacher you are supposed to watch your language?”.
Danny gives an awkward, “uuuuhhhhh”, before scrunching up his face in a pout, leaning back in his chair dramatically, and whining loudly while Val laughs at him, “do I haaaaavvvvveeee toooooo?”. Lancer’s sigh is a pained one.
(Danny absolutely starts out the next class with, “so one of you s̴͜͝h̴i̶t̡̨͡s snitched on me so prepare for some slight language changes, b͘͘itc͜͝he͢͝ş̛”. Which earned a mixture of confused looks, laughs, and a couple glares at Todd, Dash, and Brittney; who were the most likely suspects. And really no one was actually surprised in the slightest that Danny seemingly knew GhostSpeak, it just tracked honestly).
---
Was Danny looking forward to this first assignment thingy? Haha fuck no. He’s just going to assume marking is Hell but he already established that he wasn’t the kind of sick freak that makes the very first assignment the one required oral presentation or some shitty quiz; and fine he already put down ‘research assignment on an unusual ghost theory you have’ in the syllabus but what the actual crap was he supposed to do for the guild lines of this to avoid getting the kind of ridiculous shit that he himself would write. Because as funny as getting twenty-odd papers about Plasmius’s clear attempts at making up for his fragile masculinity or about Phantom’s fashion choices would be, Danny’d rather not. Well he could just be like: y’all can either do all your papers on Phantom or none, vote now. At least then he would either be prepared to read a bunch of wild shit about himself or go in knowing he won’t have to read any about himself.
Rolling over in bed and sighing, “well I guess I could just limited the second option to known frequently seen ghosts?”, blinking, “oh and none can be on Boxy because I see too much of that problem man as it is”. Speaking of problems, he also has to figure out how he’s going to spend an hour getting stared at by most of his students (fuck that was still super weird) sans an entire hand; because sure the rest of his arm will have reformed by noon, but the hand will still an issue. Too bad he didn’t manage to find the chopped-off limb before it dissipated into free-floating ectoplasm. While he does appreciate that no one’s going to just stumble across his severed limb, getting it back would have been way better. Eh fuck it, super long sleeves day it is, Jazz did attempt at dark humour once and gifted him a straightjacket so what the heck time to look like a crazy person the legit way.
Of course it’s currently three am so he is not getting dressed right now, not a chance.
-
Does he get to fall back asleep and actually stay asleep till eleven or so? No, when does he ever? Fuck ghosts and their lack of caring about his shitty sleep schedule. It’s now five am, his ghost sense has got him mostly shivering awake, and his blankets don’t even qualify as actually still on his bed. Him letting himself slump onto the floor while transforming and starting to float up in the air before only slightly lazily flying out his window. If anyone asks about his eye-bags, he bought them off the black market. Does that make sense? Not really no. Does he care? Also no.
Him floating up on Ember smashing up a street sign with her guitar, pinching his nose while otherwise hanging limply in the air, “Ember, why?”. He’s too tired for this shit, Ancients.
“Anarchy”. She hits the sign again.
Danny sighs, “well could you go be ‘anarchy’ when said anarchy doesn’t result in my sleep becoming anarchy too? I really don’t feel like having the R.E.M. sleep government centres of my brain overthrown today”. That actually gets her to pause and look up at him, smirking and snickering after a bit, “you do look like shit”, then very pointedly looking to his half reformed arm; hey at least he had a proper elbow again! Shove a dick in it, goddamn. He absolutely flips her off before shooting her guitar, “go home, Ember. I have class”.
She gives him a pitying look like an absolute ass, “oh did they not let you graduate from that indoctrinating soul-crushing suffering?”, then grinning almost manically, “let’s burn it down!”.
“Jesus Ancients no, I work there”.
“Oh so you’ve become a cog in the machine for the man”.
Danny sighs very loudly, “okay what capitalist crawled up your ass and died, fuck. And if anything my mere presence is causing chaos”, chuckling hollowly, “one of the other teachers drank my coffee accidentally and was absolutely losing their beans half the day. And only one person’s gotten a mild case of ecto-poisoning”, sighing, “Ancients, Todd’s a dumbass. I mean-”, gesturing vaguely with his intact hand, “-I knew that, but next time he wants to ‘prove he can bend steel’ with a bar of ectoplasm I’m just going to let him break his arm and get full-blown contamination”.
Ember shakes her head, “I say let him. And so you are teaching humans ghost stuff”. Danny just shrugs kinda noncommittally at that. She smirks, “teaching death is more punk rock I guess, babypop”, while attempting to give him a boot kick to the face since she apparently couldn’t leave without causing him some level of bodily harm. He, of course, grabs her ankle and just flips her over him. Hand-to-hand combat was not her strong suit. She does successfully get him one with a laser drumstick though. Which hooray for a burnt hip. Fun. At least he knows she’ll just head back to her lair now, no real need for the capture and release thing; most ghosts pretty firmly decided they’d rather just go home after a Phantom ass beat down than getting sucked into the thermos, so they left immediately. Others were fine to just leave to their business. Some were true bad time problems. And then there was the Box Ghost... fucking moron. Ancients he is going the fuck back to bed.
-
Annnnnndddd now he’s late. Fuck. It’s a little past noon. FUCK. He sighs very loudly while practically scrambling out of bed, getting tangled in the sheets, phasing through the sheets when he remembers he can do shit like that, grabbing random ass shit from his closet and phasing that on. Quick mirror check... and yup, he looks like a dumbass and his sweaters backwards. At least he actually grabbed a sweater, he, however, did not grab pants. But fuck it, shorts it is. Shorts that are shorter on one side than the other because they got burnt and said burn marks are super noticeable on the neon green fabric.
He’s hopping out his window when he tries to grab the frame and just face-plants instead because, fuck, right, no goddamn hand dumbass. Quickly scrambling back and phasing off his sweater while also tripping backwards over the first aid kit he left haphazardly on the floor like a complete lazy idiot. Landing on his floor with an oof and sighing very loudly, just laying there half-naked for a couple of seconds, “why me?”. When he does get up he successfully grabs that straightjacket and makes it out the window, flying off to school while pulling it on.
Danny doesn’t even bother with walking into school, just smacks into the side of the building below the window to his classroom -honestly him having his own classroom still feels slightly surreal but he’s kinda used to it at this point. At least a little anyways- and a quick glance around plus transforming back human and visible and he knows he’s good, his singular hand holding onto the windowsill. Is he cheating by still defying gravity a little? Yes. But one Danny Fenton absolutely does not feel like falling to the ground and making an ass of himself yet again today. Huffing he lifts himself up, head-butts open the window -which can only open both ways because it’s an added safety feature in case a student got phased outside and was trying to get back inside through a closed window. His folks really did think of everything. Well almost everything- and scrambles in while his class freaks out a little. A couple fellow teens even scream/shriek and Ashley -who sits near the windows- actually fell out of her desk. Danny doesn’t even need to look up to hear Val’s extremely audible sigh though.
“What the fuck, Fenton?”.
“Danny!?!”.
“What the Hell?!?”.
“FUCK! Oh Zone thank everything, I thought he was a ghost for a second”.
“You’re late”.
“We’re on the second story, how the Hell did you get up here? And wait, did you head butt a window?? WHY ARE YOU WEARING A STRAIGHTJACKET??
“What????”.
“It’s a look though...”.
“Okay Danny being late isn’t all that weird, but you’d think... Like this is exactly why this class is after noon”.
“Is there a reason your top half and bottom half look like they came from two totally different fashion lines?”.
“Why couldn’t you have been five minutes later? We could have left then”.
“Are you okay?”.
“Danny.... what did you do?”.
“Wait, were you the thump on the wall just now?”.
Danny shuffles to stand up straight and brushes himself off with the long floppy arm-sleeves of the straightjacket, waltzing to the front of the classroom. Fuck he forgot his backpack. Damn. Guess he’ll just have to talk about the assignment instead of handing out the sheet things. Oh well. Turning to the class and gesturing them to shut up by waving his hand around which really just makes the sleeve flap around ridiculously.
Pretty much the entire class bursts out laughing at him after a couple seconds of silence.
Danny sighing, “okay okay, yes I’m late, but class or whatever begins now. Also y’all need to vote on whether your research c̷͝r͟a͘p҉͜ will all be on Phantom or none will be on Phantom. It’s all or nothing, you mǫ͡t̨͘h̴̛e͠r̷͞f̸u̴c̕k̨e͠r͢s̴”. That earns both groans and slight laughs, eh Danny’s cool with that.
Val doesn’t even give him a chance to ask for hand voting when she blinks down at his feet, “Danny... how did you even manage that???”. Danny quirking an eyebrow, “huh?”, then looking down... looking down at his laced-up socks. Fucking damnit. He thought he had phased on shoes, even laced them up; guess he just phased random shoelaces tying around threw his goddamn socks and laced up the socks. Danny sighs and slumps a little, “well okay then, guess today’s a no shoes kinda day”, and sighs again before looking up and shrugging at Val, who huffs disbelievingly at him. Fair.
Todd jerks up his hand, “can we go shoeless too then? Otherwise, unfair”. Danny sighs and waves him off, “go nuts, f̵̧͢uc̴̨ķ̴̕ if I care today”. That earns him a round of blinking and snickering; some people do actually take him up on his apathy and take off their shoes. Dash snapping, “not that I care, but what the Hell happened to you?”. Danny smirks at him, “I decide your grade so you kinda have to care”, and sticks his tongue out him like a petulant brat purely because he can. “I got hit in the head by an ectoplasmicly infused guitar at five am and didn’t regain consciousness till-”, glancing at the clock, “-however many minutes ago”.
Jesse blinks, “I can’t tell if that’s a creative lie... or not”. Danny finger guns before turning to the board and scribbling on it, “alright, voting hand time. Left for no Phantom, right for all Phantom...”.
Annnnnnnd, glancing around at the hands, looks like he’s receiving twenty-odd papers on himself. Wonderful. Whelp hopefully this’ll at least be interesting and mildly creative. Danny nodding with his hand and stump wrist on his hips at the board then turning around to face everyone with a huff, “alright then, now if anyone sends their research to the G.I.W. you automatically fail. I don’t want them getting any more funny ideas and having Phantom around is at least marginally a good thing. Honestly”. Earning him some snickers.
“Just marginally? He’s better than your parents”.
Danny glares at Todd, “hush, y͜ou͟҉ ̵s͞a̸l̴ţ͠y͘̕ ̢w̡͞et̷͡ ̡͠n͟͟ơ̢͝o͏d̡҉le”. Putting his intact hand back on his hips, “my folks aside, assignments. It’s on the syllabus and really you already know what to do so yeah. I’ll give you guys the papers for it tomorrow because, like my shoes apparently, I forgot them”. More than one teen gives him a really weird look and James mutters, “honestly? I think I prefer this, uh, ‘teaching’ style? He’s just so done”.
“More like one of us”.
“He is literally my age, he is one of us”.
“Oh yeah”.
Danny glances up at the ceiling, sighs, and talks slightly louder than necessary, “as for actual lesson plans, more ghost history slash lore, yay-”.
“At least he didn’t forget where he left off”.
Danny points at Todd, because come on man, seriously, “I will steal all your number two pencils, Todd”. James blinking, “why does that work as a legit threat?”. Danny points at him, “because then the scantrons will f̵̨̢u̵c̨͜͡k̶̵ up so he can’t take tests and he’ll have to ask the teacher for one embarrassing himself because no fellow teen would give him theirs because h͘e ̸s̨͢u̸̧̡c̷̡ks̕͠”.
“The fact that that is even slightly thought out and remotely realistic is actually worse”.
Dash actually looks legit slightly concerned and weirded out. Maybe he finally realised Danny’s kinda a whole ass nightmare when he feels like it. That’s without adding in the whole half-ghost clusterfuck he’s got going on.
-
Danny gets about halfway through his class when Charles just straight up opens the door. Danny should booby trap that sometime. “Okay I can’t believe I’m asking you this but tell me you have a spare stapler... what am I looking at here?”.
Danny had been gesturing a bit exaggeratedly at the whiteboard that had a doodle of a couple of Ancients on it, him dropping his arms and turning to the science teacher, “what, in any world, would make you think I have a spare of anything other than coffee, guns, thermoses, and maybe food; though the last one may or may not be inedible. Also, today was a crazy person day so yes this is, in fact, a straightjacket”. The fellow teacher smirks, “get that from the asylum you stayed at?”. Danny rolls his eyes, “oh har har, dickweed”, and chuckles; Charles was one of the teachers he got on better with even if the guy had zero sense of boundaries and sticks his nose in just about anything he found interesting, and Danny was basically a walking ball of interesting. Danny snaps his fingers and turns to the class, “oh I have actually been to an asylum before though”.
Ashley coughs, “Danny, you could make a living off of surprising people with random life bits. Get a tv show”.
Danny’s ghost sense goes off at the exact moment that an echoing voice says, “oh I quite agree”, from the direction of the window.
Charles goes wide-eyed and blurts out, “wellsinceyouclearlydon’thaveastaplerI’mgoingtogofindonebye”, and promptly shuts the door with a slam. Danny, meanwhile, snaps his head to the window and watches the Ghost Writer cross his legs while floating a bit above the windowsill. Danny blinks, “what and why”, and sounding stern enough to make a couple students jump/jerk in their seats. Valerie, Emilie, and a few others have weapons drawn already; expected and good really. The Ghost Writer rolls his eyes faintly and tosses his scarf over one shoulder dramatically while Danny slowly scoots over to his desk, not that the Ghost Writer seems to care, pursing his lips at Danny, “curious. Here I thought you had a hatred for literature and education”.
Danny rolls his eyes harshly, “no. Just Christmas”, pooping open one of the drawers. The class just watching tensely in the background.
“Christmas books”.
Danny rolls his eyes again, “Ancients fuck, man”, smirking a little, “here have some-”, jerking up an orange -that he, yes, had in his desk purely to spite this very specific ghost even though the Ghost Writer basically never came to the Mortal Realm- and stabbing it with his nails to make its juices leak down his hand/arm and makes the room smell noticeably citrusy, “-vitamin C for cannonball so you can shoot on outta here”. Valerie side-eyes Danny with a slightly dumbfounded look before dropping her arms, and her gun, down and turning to him, “seriously?”. Danny just shrugs loosely and bites a chunk out of the orange earning a lot of disgusted looks. Fair, he hadn’t exactly peeled off the skin or anything. But hey, the Ghost Writer looks thoroughly and deeply offended; so that’s a point for Danny.
The Ghost Writer audibly sighs, pushes up his glasses, and closes his eyes for a second before speaking up, “as I’m sure you know, The GhostWriters Manor has a fairly high and active patronage”, glaring a little, “regardless of men of a certain sort being unwelcome“.
Brittney leans over to Ashley, who’s shaking and a little stiff, “oooo I wonder what the heck Danny did. Boy’s banned from a library”. Dash scoffs weakly and a little wide-eyed, “o-oh please, getting banned from a library is, ah, is weak sauce”. Todd smirking at the jock, “smooooth”; and gets flipped off for the comment.
Danny shrugs and bites the orange with emphasis, speaking through a mouthful, “‘ell maye searaint ‘en ould ave ettr tases”, and swallows harshly. The Ghost Writer scowls. Danny quirking an eyebrow after a bit, “soooo?”. Making the ghost shake his head and mutter, “I truly can’t believe this”, then looking to Danny, “as a man of the written word there is a level of... respect, even begrudging respect, for those that teach it”, digging into his satchel and pulling out a card, “you may have a card again”; the Ghost Writer sounds almost physically pained to be saying that. Which of course means Danny absolutely has to bug the guy and the windows being phase-proof gives Danny ample time to do so.
Danny smirks, “and here I thought I was never even granted one in the first place”, and dramatically puts a hand to his chest, sounding overly sarcastic, “iMaGiNe HoW bLeSsEd I mUsT fEeL tO bE rEcEiViNg SuCh A tRuLy SpLeNdId GiFt SuCh As ThIs”, sauntering over in the most fruity and dramatic way he possibly can, popping open the window seductively, and snatching away the card, “ThAnKs BaBe”, and winks like an absolute ass.
Emilie collapses to the floor and starts wheeze laughing.
The Ghost Writer jerks away from him, scowls, and adjusts his glasses while trying to compose himself. Huffing a little, “consider the libraries resources yours, do be at least slightly decent and use them educationally”, the vanishing from sight; Danny following the flying off transparent ghost with his eyes before pulling his front half back into his classroom fully. Huh. Will he actually take up the ghosts offer? Might actually be a good idea also, fuck the gov he now has even more access to information they could only ever salivate over in dreamland.
Turning back to the class, “whelp, that happened”, humming and tilting his head, “too bad I definitely can’t get approval for an impromptu field trip to a ghost library”.
Valerie throws up her hands, slumps back into her desk, shoves her gun back into her bag, and glares at Danny. Todd bursts out laughing while Jesse blinks, “did that just happen?”. Dash screws up his face a little, “the Hell you little wimp?”. Danny’s just going to assume the guy never realised that Danny kinda had a pair of brass balls.
Danny smirks at the class, smacking the whiteboard, “I’m tougher than you, deal with it or eat a pink slip. Now class is basically over so I’m not even going to bother continuing with this, but in case any of y’all are wondering The Ghost Writer gains power from the influence, importance, and popularity of any form of writing that was written by a ghostwriter or anonymously. Totally in charge of basically the biggest library in the Zone, which yes I was banned from apparently due to blowing up a book”. Todd scoffs at that and rolls his eyes, clearly trying to seem unimpressed.
Ashley sticks up a hand and speaks anyway, “did you really not know you were banned?”. Danny waves her off with his handless arm, okay he’s got a palm again but stilll, “do you know just how many places have banned me or my entire family”, tilting his head, “or just my dad at least”, which earns him some chucking before the bell goes off and he starts shooing everyone out loosely. Emilie goes right up to his desk though, grinning almost meanly, “tell me you are going to bring ghost books”. Valerie goes wide-eyed a little and glares at the back of Emilie’s head, then at Danny when he smirks and shrugs, “oh I don’t see why not, heck let’s make that the reading requirement. Read a book written by ghosts”. Val makes a series of faces, likely torn between curiosity and being completely done with his general shit. Emile smirks and fist bumps before leaving.
Danny quirking an eyebrow at Valerie getting her to finally speak up, “you are unbelievable, Danny”, shaking her head and walking closer, “so about this assignment thing-”.
Danny groans dramatically, “oh Ancients, way to make me feel like a teacher”. She smacks him over the head for that, “better?”. Danny just smirks and nods curtly, giving a cheery, “yup”. Valerie rolls her eyes, “anyway, I know it’s been decided everyone’s doing Phantom-”, rolling her eyes a little, “-but could I maybe do mine on the other Phantom”, and stares at him.
Oh she is so totally trying to gauge if he knows shit, not that that was remotely subtle. Eyeing her a little, “if you don’t save that kind of subject to your computer then sure, I guess I didn’t specify Danny with a y Phantom. But-”, squinting just a little, “-if, say, the G.I.W. manage to hack things and find out some things that might be dangerous”. Valerie blinks before shaking her head in disbelief, “how the Zone”, sighing, “I’m pretty good with tech these days, but yeah okay”, and gives him a bit of a weird look before rushing off at the warning bell.
---
Does Danny decide to take up the Ghost Writers offer? Yes, yes he does. Barging in and walking around like he owns the place, the Ghost Writer blatantly massaging his temples while Danny walks up to the guys little counter thingy, “so got any twelve odd copies of the same fiction book? That a bunch of teens who may or may not wreck them can have? Also could totally use some lore and historical books, you know, for reasons”.
The Ghost Writer sighs, pours himself some tea, gets up and nods, “yes, do attempt to see them returned though”.
“I make no promises”.
That gets him another sigh but Danny follows the ghost around anyway. The Ghost Writer winds up getting a bit excited and gives him an honestly excessive amount of books at the end of the day. Danny also learns that apparently it was Ember who was a blabbermouth and told the writing ghost when she was checking out, or something, a musician's after-death memoir. Figures a singer couldn’t keep her mouth shut.
-
The Ghost Writer patting the stack almost affectionately, “a happy book is a read book and I have a lot here, so enjoy”, and gives Danny a ‘come back’ look that’s just slightly threatening which Danny’s just going to assume is because the guy had vaguely forgotten who he’s talking to, that or the Ghost Writer hated him a lot less than he thought. The ghost holding up a finger, “ah yes, since you were proactive and showed at least some genuine care for the craft, here”, and plops a little green writing quill down on the stack. Danny is oddly genuinely touched.
Danny blushing and rubbing his neck a bit, “uh, appreciated?”. This honestly said more than it seemed, sure they clearly were bickering and were not exactly fond of each other but it seemed that the Ghost Writer was yet another once-antagonistic ghost that was now at least somewhat on team Phantom’s side.
“Yes, now if you’re done loitering”, the Ghost Writer makes shooing motions at Danny, “be on your way”. Danny rolls his eyes but does, in fact, leave... with an unnecessary amount of books in tow.
Chapter 4: An Education In Fashion
So apparently someone went and threw a little complaint about Danny’s straightjacket stunt, him wearing a near-floor-length parka the next day with shorts probably didn’t help though, and now Danny’s at the mall for reasons other than having fun or fighting some ghost. How does Danny know someone complained? Well a little conversation with Lancer that went a little something like this: “Daniel, I know the school’s a little... lax, but we do actually have a dress code. Which again, you are supposed to actually be marginally following unless it’s for safety reasons”. Which he had of course responded to with, “technically a straightjacket is a restraining device sooooo...”, which got him glared at. In short, Danny now had to buy new clothing. New clothing meant for teaching, which was weird as fuck.
Was he doing this alone? Zone no! He had absolutely recruited Sam and Tuck to wander around with him. Which, speaking of...
“Sup, dude!”.
Danny grins to himself before turning to his friends, “hey, Tuck man”, looking to Sam and nodding, “look at you slumming it like a mall goth”. Sam rolls her eyes at him and flips him off aggressively. Tuck smacks his arm, “more like look at you actually buying clothing new instead of digging through used stores for cheap shit. What? Did Casperhigh finally develop standards?”, and smirks.
Sam scowls at the techno-geek, “it’s better that he doesn’t support corporate-run stores and name brand garbage. What with all the slave labour, animal abuse, and terrible worker treatment”. Danny looks down very pointedly at her plaid T.U.K creepers that are 100% not bought from a used store; Sam shoves him, making him stagger a little with a laugh.
Him looking to Tucker, “Lance asked kinda nice-ishly so I’m being nice to the poor man”, smirking, “and maybe this’ll make up for me sorta kinda being responsible for one of the water fountains spewing out black water for a bit there”. Both of them stare at him for a bit before laughing, Tucker patting his back after a bit with a smile, “they hired you, what did they expect”.
Danny sticks his arms out exaggeratedly while the trio start walking, “I keep telling them that!”. Sam shaking her head with a smile, “well trying to appease the man or not, don’t you dare say we’re suit shopping”. Danny screwing his face up at her before gesturing around, “do you see Vladdie around? Because I fucking guarantee you he’d have some kind of sensor or informant for if I so much as stepped into a suit store or tailor, and he’d immediately show up to at least stare at my choices judgingly or offer to pay by flashing around a fancy credit card”. Tucker snorting, “that shouldn’t feel as accurate as it does”; making everyone laugh as they head into one of the ‘teen’ oriented stores. Danny was buying new passable clothing, not high-class ‘adult’ clothing.
The first thing Danny sees is bandanas, MORE FUCKING BANDANAS! Yes, he’s so here for this. Well not this specifically but you know. He grabs a new alien one, one that looks like a white dragons mouth (Tuck muttered something about seeing one just like that at a furry con which really just encouraged Danny to take it but with a shit-eating grin), two ghost ones because of course and if one of them is pink and glittery and has sequins then that’s his business and no one else’s shut up, another that looks like bloody tie-dye, and one that reads ‘SATAN just do it’ with a Nike checkmark; the last one might just get him in trouble but he’s pretty sure just the existence of his class/him already pisses off Christianity so why not go for a home run.
Sam eyes the SATAN bandana as she walks back over from another store, her smirking, “nice. Anyway, shoes”, and shoves a bag at him. Danny quirking an eyebrow while digging inside and chuckling at the white doc martins, snorting, “I thought I was the only one here supposed to be making jokes about my suit while also blatantly hinting at my shit”.
Sam scowls and crosses her arms, “they’re not sneakers and they’re mildly ‘professional’, deal with it”. Danny just chuckles as he pays for his bandanas and the dress-shirt with frowning depressed bananas all over it that Tuck threw at him.
Walking out and looking around before all three share a Look, breaking out in matching grins and speaking in unison, “HotTopic”, and then march off with determination written across their faces; which yes, gets them actively avoided by everyone who knew who they were, which was basically all of Amity these days.
Danny’s got crushed velvet straight cut pants that marginally resemble dress pants -Lancer will so not let him get away with freezer burnt crust pants or grey sweat pants at an assembly or whatever- folded over an arm while he’s shoving around some of the angsty and anime-themed hoodies when Kitty finally decides to approach him. Did he know she was here? Yes, obviously. Be weird and concerning if he didn’t. But she was generally well behaved so he let her be. The biggest risk her and Johnny usually posed was traffic violations. So not his problem.
Anyway, Kitty pokes the pants, quirks an eyebrow and hums a little, “nice choice there, Danny”, humming a little more before grabbing up a hoodie with a plague doctor on it and the words ‘there is no cure only infection, and I’m patient zero’, and shoving it at him, “that’s more your style”.
Danny blinks, “I see you’re trying to cut me with edge now, geez. But technically-”, holding up a finger from his unoccupied hand, “-anything that sheds ectoplasm is ‘contagious’ sooooooo”, and rolls his wrist. She gives him a pouty look, “I don’t know what I expected”.
Sam walks up, eyes the punk ghost before looking to Danny, “you’re getting a dress tailcoat, it says ‘dead boy’ on it”; making Danny wheeze a little and nod with a stupid grin. Kitty smiles a little bit before waving the goth off and starts walking away, “looks like you’ve already got a lady friend clinging around so I’ll be going”. Sam chucks a necklace at her while Danny coughs.
Regardless he gets the sweater because now he kinda has to. The tailcoat too though, because of course.
-
Sam and Tuck already have their supersized order of fries and respective meat and veggie burgers while Danny’s ordering his go-to coffee from his go-to coffee shop, gotta get in that dose of judgemental and mildly fearful staring. But Charles -yes Charles, not Lancer. Why the fuck?- winds up calling and Danny picks up feeling just mildly confused and curious, “uh, why? Also, how?”.
“So Danny, you’re an adult, a perfectly responsible adult-”. That tone is ominous as fuck, damnit. “-a responsible adult who does absolutely know how to safely handle ectoplasm-”. Oh Ancients.
Danny cuts him off, “what did you do to my classroom?”.
“Wh-what? I- nothing. Better question is what and why did you, honestly really, have a bomb-rigged drawer? Also, how does someone... convince a chunk of ectoplasm to get out of your closet and stop eating your ties? I mean, I think it might have eyes but I might also be wrong and it keeps squirming away from the microscope, which why would it do that?”.
Danny gives a pained smile, looks to the barista who’s now holding his venti cup filled with around thirty espresso shots, Danny sighing, “if I give you a fifty, could I convince you to add five more to that?”.
“What?”. Danny absolutely ignores Charles.
The barista looks down at the cup like she’s debating if potential manslaughter due to willful negligence was worth fifty dollars. Apparently yes, yes it is. She adds five more shots and Danny’s down fifty more bucks.
He absolutely catches her squatting down staring vacantly at the fifty muttering, “but was it worth it”, though. He cringes just a little bit; then he gets back to the phone call. Sighing, “blob ghosts typically have eyes, Charles, and the little guy’s eating your ties because you constantly let the things dangle down into your samples and don’t fucking wash them in an ectophobic solution. Gosh”, and rolls his eyes as he sits back down with his friends; who just quirk their eyebrows at him while he keeps talking away, “and of course my desk is bobby-trapped, man. If the G.I.W. activates that they’d be so bothered by the cleanliness breach that they’d just go home”. Tuck chokes and smacks the table comically a couple of times, making loud thumping noises.
Charles actually laughs, “true! So what can you do about the blob, buddy?”.
Danny screws up his face, pulls the phone away from his ear and stares down at it. Glancing to his friends, “a teacher just called me ‘buddy’???”, Danny’s not quite sure how to react to that, them laughing at him doesn’t help. Shaking his head he returns the phone to his ear and gives a cheery, “nope! Enjoy your new pet!”, and hangs up on the guy.
“Wha-”.
Danny starts eating the fries.
Tucker points his second burger at him, “you know...”. Danny pointing right back at him with a fry, “hush you”. He knows he’s a teacher himself alright, geez.
(Charles seemingly took Danny up on that pet comment and actually called FentonWorks for a containment unit and to ask about ‘ghost pet care’, Danny’s mom gave him the phone with a truly dumbfounded expression).
---
Alright, today’s the day. What day? Why the day to get paper assignments for the first goddamn time ever and try not to lose, destroy, contaminate, or otherwise ruin them. He’s fucked. Solidly fucked. But hey, at least it’s also the day to show off his shit fashion choices as well, little ray of sunshine there. Some light in the darkness.
He should probably attempt to win some points with Lancer and wear the dress shirt, honestly. So that’s what he’s gonna do. Depressed banana dress shirt, sequin alien bandana, crushed velvet pants, and what the heck the ‘dead boy’ tailcoat too why not; this boy is getting DRESSED UP today! And fine, yes he looks good based on his mirror's reflection; but his mirror is definitely ecto-contaminated so it might not be entirely trustworthy.
His dad also whistling at him as he heads downstairs for breakfast isn’t trustworthy either, considering the man’s fashion style was less of a ‘style’ and more of a scientific protective mess of orange and the occasional tie. Danny rolls his eyes and waves his dad off, “oh whatever, needed ‘proper attire’”, shrugging loosly, “whatever that means”. Jack beams, “just wear a jumpsuit! That’s always proper!”. Maddie looks away from the microwave she’s nuking some noodles in to glare at him, “not at a reunion, dear”; making Danny chuckle to himself while Jack rubs his neck. She still waves cheerily at Danny as he leaves though so...
-
This is one of those days he actually leaves early enough for a few quick patrol laps around his town, two ectopusses, the Box Ghost (because of course), all followed by him literally tripping into one of Skulker’s traps; hence why he was now peeling a basic ass bear trap -be more creative, tinman- off his leg. At least he had the sense to wipe off the ectoplasm with one of his random shit handkerchiefs before walking to the classroom and loudly dropping said beartrap on his desk in what was probably a slightly terrifying alpha move.
Is he early now? Haha no. At least three people jumped from the sudden loud noise. But fuck, Danny was NOT waiting around for Skulker to show his ass for longer than three minutes. Danny had shit to do, man. And apparently the local poacher can’t bother to be punctual when his traps go off. Fuck.
James blinks, “what the fuck?”. While Valerie just sighs and rolls her eyes, leaning back against her chair, “you stumbled on one of Skulker’s traps, didn’t you?”. Danny waves a hand around limply, “yeah? Yer point?”; making her roll her eyes at him very hard.
Danny doesn’t even get a chance to pick up the whiteboard marker before he’s pausing as his throat ices up, him holding up a finger, and just turning to walk right back out the classroom door. Fucking Skulker, goddamnit. But hey, his tailcoat whipping/fluttering about in the air in a way that was actually kinda badass was probably cool looking. He doesn’t have attendance points but he does have style points today motherfuckers.
Dale blinking, “did he just walk in only to leave again?”, slapping the desk, “well I guess he did drop off a bear trap from a ghost so... samples count as teaching?”. Todd snorting and rolling his eyes, “that doesn’t count for shit”; Valerie just chucks a pencil at him.
“I’m more interested in his whole get up. Who pairs a fucking tailcoat with sequin anything?”.
“Oh shut it, Amber. At least he didn’t come in wit a tie or a freaking suit”.
Dash snorts and actually laughs a little, “oh imagine that little twink in a suit! Ha!”. Which just makes Valerie smirk and turn to the jock, “he looks better in one than you do, Dash”.
“Oh fuck you, reject”. That comment was the only excuse Valerie felt she needed for proceeding to kick him in the chin, which might have started up a minor brawl by the time Danny got back.
Danny’s mildly attempting to fix his hair when he hip-checks his way back into his classroom, pausing with his hand stuck halfway through his hair at Valerie just having Dash in a headlock on the floor. Danny blinking, “mmmmm’ ‘kay”. Which fine, the class starts laughing at him for. Danny talks right over said chuckling, “so once somebody’s done with their little vice grip, or whatever, on another person everyone can relinquish their vice grip on their assignment shit and gimme gimme”. Val flips him off but hey, at least she lets Dash start breathing again. It’s something. And everyone does, in fact, start getting up to give him their work. Valerie trying to quietly and subtly ask him if ‘he’s okay’ when she hands hers over though. Danny sighing and shrugging limply, “eh I’m good, Skulker’s gonna be hearing from my lawyers though”, and smirks; resulting in Val smacking him over the head with a scowl.
-
Lancer showing up just after the bell, looking Danny up and down, and nodding with a, “good”, is weirdly chastising and awkwardly awkward. Ashley giggling to herself, “oh I get it, boy got in trouble for his clothing ‘choices’”. Danny points at her aggressively, “hush you”. Lancer leaves without choosing to comment on that.
---
Does Danny basically use the next couple of school days to make the school/his class his own personal fashion runway? Yes, yes he does. Did he also decide to melt some glue on the end of his tailcoat and file it to be sharp and blade-like? Yup. Was that very thing why Millie was currently done with his shit and arguing with him? Also yes.
“He cut the case lock for the microscope and ruined an entire three hundred dollar machine! We’re allowed to be armed but not wear literal blades as clothing!”.
Lancer is very clearly restraining a sigh.
Charles shrugs from the couch, “hey buddy, it was my machine and you don’t see me complaining”, looking to Danny, “I’m more curious about the how honestly”. Which fucking tracks for the man. Millie gestures at Charles, garish bangle bracelets clinking around in the process, “it’s the schools”, turning to Lancer, “at least fine the child”.
Danny crosses his arms, “hey, I’m eighteen not a ‘child’”, he was still considered a child ghost but that was besides the point.
Lancer pinches his nose and holds up a hand, which Millie actually listens too thank fuck for that. Danny’s pretty sure Lancer is literally the only person that lady respects even slightly. “While I’m certain it was an accident-”, glancing at Danny which Danny rubs his neck sheepishly over before Lancer continues, “-and the school could certainly just add this onto the Fenton tab, I doubt that would pose much of a solution for the fact that you simply don’t like Daniel very much, Millie”.
Millie huffs and crosses her arms, “he’s a menace-”. Danny can’t even argue against that. “-is barely older than most of the students-”. Also true. “-and couldn’t we have literally anyone else, anyone who’s a competent decent respectable person, teach his elective”. Oh this woman just loved mocking and treating non-core classes as lesser.
Danny smirks, “be careful or Remi’s gonna put paint in your pencil drawer again”. She scowls at him for that, pointing at him aggressively, “I know you helped her with that”. Danny will neither confirm nor deny that, “oh but how could I possibly remember when your nasty yellow fake nails are being way too distracting”.
“Why I never-”.
Lancer interjects at this point, Danny’s surprised the man even let him finish his witty comeback/insult. “That’s enough, you two clearly need some bonding time so-”, looking to the math teacher, “-Millie, you’ll be sitting in on Daniel’s class, I know you don’t have any scheduled class during that time and that you’re all caught up on grading, so don’t give me that excuse”; she scowls at him. Lancer looking to Danny, “and Daniel, you’ll sit in on her second block grade twelves”, glaring, “and no bathroom breaks”. Danny sags and whines very dramatically and very petulantly; Charles just starts snickering while attempting -and failing- to cover up said snickering with his hand.
Danny is so not impressed. Neither is Millie but that’s not Danny’s problem now is it. But now that Danny thinks about it, this is the perfect excuse to talk about ghost hunger and force someone who didn’t sign up for this shit to listen to/deal with his shit. Danny might just give Millie a more than slightly malicious smirk as he shoves Charles out of the way enough to sit on the couch; the man just rolling with it while trying not to laugh at his expense any further.
Danny only came early today for the cookies Remi said she’d drop off in the lounge, look how hard that bit him in the ass. Doesn’t even have time to sit and enjoy more than one cup of coffee now. Fuck. Wearing his SATAN bandana was probably asking for it a bit though. Flipping out his phone while nibbling on a cookie and blatantly ignoring Millie storming out in a huff.
thealiveone: so guess who just jacked up the tab AND pissed off mille
PDAxpda: millies the math teach right?
Nightshade: nice
thealiveone: yup! she like always hates me nothing new there
thealiveone: she no happy about recent bought of destruction of property
PDAXpda: someone needs to chill that’s what you do
thealiveone: ouch but yes and now have excuse to force her to hear out ghost hunger
Nightshade: you cruel cruel man I apporv
Nightshade: that bitch gave me so much shit about my ‘satanic’ fashion
thealiveone: ahhh yes I remever that
thealiveone: from back when we were young
thealiveone: our youthful days
PDAXpda: *pfffft*
thealiveone: anyone any one want cookies?
Nightshade: 😆🙃 sure Danny
-
By the time it’s time for Danny to head to his shit he has consumed three cookies and stuffed around eight intangibly inside his body for safekeeping; not like Sam and Tuck gave a shit about eating/using stuff from inside him.
Is Millie waiting judgementally outside of his classroom? Yes. Does he care? No. The class absolutely eyes him and the math teacher as he waltz’s in though. Todd snickering, “ooooo someone needs a babysitter do they?”. Danny just smirks, “oh no Lance-y’s just punishing his problem children. Anyway today’s subject will be light cannibalism”, and smirks wickedly.
Millie glares while taking a seat off to the side, “I’m not the child here”.
“I’m not the one being petty”.
“You broke a three hundred dollar machine”.
“And? Your point?”.
At this point most of the class is snickering, Valerie shakes her head, “you never change, Danny”. Danny finger-gunning, “and never plan to”. Millie’s scowl deepens.
Danny rummages through his desk muttering, “where’d I put it, where’d I put it”, all the while. Because fine, maybe he was saving this subject for when he thought it would be the most impactful, so sue him. Grinning when he actually finds and starts digging out the little habitat with around five or six blob ghosts in it. Well technically they were blebs, a subspecies of blobs, but whatever. These would have probably been a lot easier to find if he hadn’t modified the bottom drawer to be connected to a slight pocket dimension… but then they wouldn’t have even fit in the drawer in the first place. You win some you lose some.
James blinking as Danny puts the container on his desk somewhat loudly, “huh, guess it’s ‘live’ specimens again. Neat”. Emilie grins, “awww they’re cute”, then glares/smirks at Valerie daring the girl to argue. Valerie just rolls her eyes. Danny also pulling out a blender makes everyone go awkwardly and cautiously silent though. Danny’s just busy cursing while he tries to plug the stupid thing in, “why the f̴̢uc̸̢k is it all bent up?”. No one elects to point out any obvious answers to that one.
Danny walking back over to his desk and popping open the bleb containment unit, “so anyone wanna taste test some basic b̴̡i҉̧t͟͟ch̕͠ ghost food?”, and proceeds to drop the bleb into the blender while simultaneously turning it on; does he get ecto splattered on his face because he forgot the blender lid? Oh absolutely and he’s cool with that. At least half the class jerks back and/or screws up their faces. Millie looks deeply offended; success! Danny licks a bit off of his cheek while staring at the class just to be extra. Dash and Val are the only ones who look completely unphased -though Todd’s trying to look unphased- seeing as both of them had seen him straight-up eat a ghost before.
Ashley squeaks, “um, no?”. Which Danny busts out laughing over and losses his composure, sitting on the edge of his desk, “I’m not serious, Ashley. And don’t worry about the little guy, as we’ve discussed, non-cored ghosts basically respawn”, holding up a finger, “plus! Bleb’s like being eaten”, at that he takes a swig straight from the blender and winks at Millie.
Jasper mutters, “oh Zone he’s doing this to fuck with Ms. Felmer”.
“Mood”.
“Understandable”.
Dale chuckles, “I knew Danny was a menace but damn”. Dash looks a little freaked out, “did I mess his taste buds up by making him eat my underwear?”. Danny absolutely has to address that, pointing at him with the blender slightly, “you are not nearly that influential on my life, Dash”.
“Whatever, Fentaco”.
Millie actually snaps, “Mr. Baxter”, over that jab; making the jock roll his eyes and huff. Her voice sounding a wee bit strained pleases Danny greatly though. Truly.
Danny taps the containment container, “now remember I have a really bloody weird ecto-contamination so do not try that at home. Anyway, ghost hunger involves the eating of ghosts. Surprise surprise, I know. And if none of you leave this class today without losing your lunch I will feel personally offended…”. Again, why did the principal think putting this class directly after lunch was a good idea? Oh well, the janitor's problem now.
-
Did anyone actually wind up throwing up? Yes actually. Not Millie though, much to Danny’s dismay. She did look close multiple times though. And fine, maybe, maybe, Danny went into far more detail than really necessary. Which absolutely explains Brittney sticking up a hand and asking, “how do you even know this this well”, while looking more than a little sick. A few other teens nodding their agreement and mutual curiosity.
Danny snickers, “I have walked in on Technus showering and brushing his teeth, do you really think I haven’t walked in repeatedly on a ghost eating another ghost. Especially when all our local blobs and whisps are totally smitten with Phantom’s stomach?”. That earns him a very loud round of gagging, and Val’s staring at her desk like she’s having a mild crisis. Ah today’s been a good day.
“Forget I asked. What the Hell”.
That just makes Danny smirk as the bell goes off. That makes Danny jolt out of his seat, summon his green quill out of his hair, and start wildly scribbling on the board, “oh! Oh! Before you go, grab your assignment şh͘͜i҉͞t̶͝ and to the person who wrote about the theory that Phantom’s a parasitic species and that’s why he can stay here so long -you know who you are- I hate you. Your little quizzes are in there too, I realise I was lazy about marking şh͘͜i҉͞t̶͝ don’t at me. Also also, this-”, tapping the board, “-is the room I’ll be in for the parent-teacher thingy ma jiggy not this room, for reasons”. Which gets him more than a little snickering and some pointed glances at the -now empty- blender, while everyone takes their graded shit. Danny’s just glad he managed to not lose or destroy anyone’s shit. Though Emilie’s quiz did have a mysterious new ectoplasm stain that he… attempted… to get out. He tried okay?
Millie glares at him as she gets up last to leave, “you, boy, are an affront to humanity”, then promptly leaves. Danny puts a hand to his chest and very loudly says, “why thank you”.
Unfortunately, he is now stuck staying here ‘till her shitty math class. Fuck. Sighing loudly at his ceiling before smirking and chuckling a little, “time to do some sketchy shit, do da, do da”. He could use some ghost summoning practice.
-
Needless to say half an hour later the schools been evacuated and there’s a pissed off dragon ghost -not from Dora’s kingdom which kinda shocked Danny- flying around. Most of the teachers are glaring at him, Lancer included. At least he’s got a duplicate of himself in Phantom form off throwing fist-a-cuffs; well… more like arguing aggressively about not meaning to summon the one goddamn dragon that wasn’t from the Draconic's kingdom.
Lancer sighs at grounded human form him, “you’re still sitting in on Millie’s math class”.
“Awwwww”. Danny smirks a little, “also, I need a new desk chair”. Lancer puts his head in his hands and shakes his head faintly.
Danny (as Phantom) and the goddamn dragon pause as Red flys up on her hoverboard. Danny waving goofily, “sup Red”, pointing at the dragon, “he’s just upsetti spaghetti, not a real problemo”. He can feel Red’s annoyance and disapproval. The dragon just growls and attempts to breathe fire at her; which she obviously dodges.
Danny gestures at the dragon while she basically unloads on them, “blame your teacher of ghost things!”, and then resumes attempting to capture the dragon. He can easily hear Red mutter, “Zone damn it, Danny”; which fine, he chuckles at.
Eventually, Danny does manage to get the dragon into his thermos. There’s probably one more ghost out there with a bone to pick with him though. Oops. He’s not even slightly surprised to get a chat message from Val a little later.
Robin: whhhhhhhyyyyyyyyy
thealiveone: 😏
thealiveone: are you not entertained
Robin: 😑🖕🏻
thealiveone: *snicker*
(Danny still does, in fact, have to sit through math, which was just as torturous as he remembers. Millie made it even more awful of course. Though unlike him she didn’t change her class plan just to fuck with his day, she did treat him like a student and called on him to answer questions constantly though… that got him so much subtle mocking).
---
The parent-teacher thing comes up way quicker than he would have liked. Lancer giving him a shoulder pat as Danny slumps down into this room's chair, “I’m sure this will go just fine”. Danny rolls his eyes, “I’m a literal teen, Lance. Adult-y folks aren’t known for respecting teens or whatever”.
Lancer deadpans, “somehow, Daniel, I doubt you actually care”. Making Danny snort, “true true. I do still have a point though”.
“Which is exactly why I’ll be staying here and supervising”.
Danny actively groans at that. But fine, understandable.
Of course the first parents, fuck this is weird Ancients, show up while Danny’s partway through spinning around in his chair. It’s Emilie and she is smirking, telling Danny that they absolutely don’t know this random teen is the teacher. Hell yeah time to fuck with them.
Emilie’s mom looks around, “oh is the teacher not here yet?”, looking to Lancer, “I doubt you’re also the ecto-ology teacher”. Lancer actually chuckles a little at that before shaking his head.
Danny snorts and stands up a bit dramatically, “sorry to say but… he died. Totally dead”. Emilie snickers into her hand. Val picks that exact moment to barge in herself with her dad, “Danny, stop telling people you’re dead. You walking problem”.
Mr. Gray quirks an eyebrow at Danny, “ah so my Valerie was telling the truth, somehow I’m both surprised and not”, then walks right up to Danny, claps him on the shoulder, and says, “good for you, lad”. Which Danny rubs his neck a bit sheepishly over. Both Val’s dad and Tuck’s folks worried about his ass, usually more than his own folks did; which, yes, was kinda a bit fucking wild.
Emilie’s mom blinks and looks to her husband then back to Danny, “you’re? the teacher?”. Lancer takes that moment to actually speak up, “indeed Daniel is. Arguably he’s the most qualified for the position, and excluding some… incidences… his performance is more than acceptable”.
Danny snorts, “complimenting and insulting me all in one go, nice”, and finger-guns at the man. Lancer just gives him a fond but exasperated look.
Emilie’s mom purses her lips before shrugging after a bit. Her and her husband both walking over and sitting down, Emilie lounging behind. “Well alright then, though you are certainly a little young to be in such a position of power-”. Danny has to seriously resist throwing his head back, cackling, and saying ‘you have no idea’ at that because fuck saying he had too much power was a goddamn fucking understatement. “-but how is she doing?”, looking over her shoulder to eyeball Emilie slightly, “not being too much of a distraction”.
Danny snorts, “ma’am, being a distraction is basically my job in class. I guess you could say I encourage active discussion and pretty much ignore the ‘put up your hand before speaking’ rule altogether”. Emilie snorts, “considering you blew up the classroom a few days ago…”.
Her dad sighs, “well I guess that’s still better than Jack”. Which fine, Danny snorts at.
Danny pointing at the man, “to be fair, I’ve taken plenty protective measures and do, in fact, know what I’m doing. The accidental wrong dragon summoning was just a miscalculation and wasn’t even during class time”.
Lancer glares at him a little, “yes, and now you’re banned from unapproved experimentation”. Danny just pouts at him before actually doing the class talking stuff he’s supposed to be doing. Val and her dad are just ‘waiting’ off to the side and chuckling at him faintly.
When it is Mr. Gray’s turn the man immediately asks, “she’s not letting outside interests interfere with your class, is she?”. Danny can practically feel the threat of grounding coming off of that question, holy shit. Lancer dutifully pretends to not be listening, Danny is goddamn postivite Lancer knows about Val since she’s way easier to figure out than him.
Danny chuckles, “naw, in fact I can say that my class is the only one she doesn’t ditch”, and gives a very cocky proud grin. Like a preening peacock. Val glares at him a little, “that’s because you boobytrapped the door. No one can leave unless you let them”. Danny just smirks more, “what can I say? I know how to hold a hostage or two”. Val clearly can’t help snorting/laughing at that. Mr. Gray actually looks a little pleased and impressed.
From there pretty much all the meetings are boring and pretty typical. Granted he did tell Todd’s folks that ‘Todd’s a real dick’, which Lancer apologised for on Danny’s behalf. Todd’s dad saying ‘oh we know’ threw Lancer through a bit of a loop though. And apparently Danny calling their son a dick made him more trustable in their eyes, who knew? Dash’s dad made a joke about how ‘hey aren't you that boy my son whipped into shape?!?’ and laughed heartily. Which lead to Lancer going off on a tangent about Mrs. Testlauf’s unhealthy teaching methods, which is how Danny learned that there is a serious beef between the two.
But then came Sophia with her parents, Sophia was one of the freshmen whose family moved here somewhat recently. Girl basically never talked and always seemed cautious. She did perk up a little whenever anything really dark or gory came up -can’t exactly talk about dead people without speaking of brutal horrid violent death- so Danny thinks she’s, like, a closet Goth or Emo or something. Sam would love to introduce her to the ookie spookie side.
Mrs. Holly comes in walking like she’s a judgmental holier-than-thou know it all with some serious entitlement issues, so Danny’s pretty sure this is just going to be so fun. Sophia looks a little more meek and sheepish than usual too. Mrs. Holly huffs, “I truly can’t believe they’d have such a garish class nonetheless let a child from such a proper family take it”, and huffs for a second time. Mr. Holly shaking his head, “truly unbelievable”. Ahhh Danny can see where this is going, even Lancer's frowning a little. Now Danny could either be ‘responsible’ and handle this ‘like an adult’ or he could just choose violence. He’s a combative motherfucker so one option is much more appetising.
Lancer speaks up first, “if you ask me, this class should be, and in the future will be, mandatory. A core subject. It’s a matter of safety after all”. Danny points at him, “and the general knowledge is way more useful than social or math”. Lancer gives him one unimpressed look at that. Danny shrugs and waves him off, “what? Everyone has calculators in their pockets, there isn’t an app for ghosts”.
The parents decide to speak up at that. Mr. Holly scoffing sarcastically, “ah yes, this ‘ghosts’ thing”. Which tells Danny exactly what kind of head-stuck-in-the-sand motherfuckers these guys are. Mrs. Holly nods and scowls at Danny, “yes, we didn’t expect this town to be a satanic cult stronghold”. Which makes Danny cough because that was not quite what he was expecting. Even Lancer coughs and goes a little bug-eyed.
Danny blinks, “excuse me? Do you not believe in ghosts and just think this town is under the delusions of a cult?”. This was actually a new one for Danny. What the fuck.
“We believe in Jesus. Sad to say you clearly don’t, doing the devil's work. ‘Ghosts’ ‘from the afterlife’. As if those are not other words for ‘demon’ and ‘Hell’. And I am not impressed that my little girl is being allowed to be indoctrinated like this. This is why we need more support for proper Christian homeschooling”, she nods to herself with a huff. Mr. Holly nodding readily as well.
This is actually the first time Danny’s ever been called a literal demon actually. He’s been called a demon child or little devil but not literally a demon. Like, a ‘from Hell’ type demon. Should he be flattered? Maybe? Oh whatever. But choosing violence would be the ‘demonic’ thing to do right? So Danny snorts, “I mean if you wanna raise your kid badly and mess them up for adult life, go right ahead. But when your kid doesn’t know what to do during a ghost attack when we get randomly assaulted by a sentient tornado or invaded by another dragon, don’t come complaining to me. Also don’t come complaining to me when your kid moves out at seventeen and refuses to talk to you for twenty-three years”. Lancer looks like he wants to stop him and make him shut up but also really doesn’t want to. Danny’s probably a bad influence on the man. “If you don’t want to believe in ghosts, something very explicitly real unlike your unproven book god, that’s your dealio. But come on and have some decency and let your kid make up their own mind, yeah?”.
Mr. Holly blinks at him, “how old are you?”. Making Danny laugh, “physically? eighteen. Mentally? A lot older than you, clearly”. Both adults look suitably offended by that and Sophia has a tiny smile though also seems more than a little nervous. Her folks are probably the ‘my house, my rules’ and ‘I brought you into this world I can bring you out’ and ‘this is the way this family does things, so you have to as well’ types.
Mrs. Holly scoffs, “this is unbelievable”, turning around to Sophia -who has a good Poker face, which is actually kind of concerning/depressing- and snapping, “to think you’d even select such a class”. Sophia muttering, “I find it interesting”, chewing her lip a little, “and he did bring proof of them day one”. Mrs. Holly rolls her eyes, “oh yeah? What proof?”, and actively looks like she just won this conversation; which Danny is so not having.
So Danny, being Danny and the undead gremlin child that he is, shouts, “this proof!”, and proceeds to grab an ecto-apple from inside his tailcoat, smashing it down on the desk hard enough to make it explode, and grins slightly manically while the green ectoplasm juice and chunks bubble, start moving, develop eyes and mouths, start sticking up like deadman’s finger fungus, and then start shrieking.
Lancer chokes. The parents jerk and jump back, having gotten splattered slightly. Sophia just blinks wide-eyed, taking a slight step back; she was, after all, slightly more used to Danny and his general wackiness.
Danny sticks his finger in the coagulated mass of screaming green horror and starts swirling it/his finger around, grinning manically still, “proof enough fer ya?”. He does pull out a thermos and suck the stuff up when the desk starts steaming though.
The parents say nothing for a bit before Mr. Holly stammers, “we-we will n-not be deceive-deceived by a w-witch”. Which Danny snorts at, “I’ve got a friend who’s a witch, but naw, not really my thing. I prefer to chill it with the dead rather than pagan gods”, tilting his head, “though I guess some pagan gods are also ghosts so eh”, and shrugs.
Mrs. Holly scowls, turns on her heels, and leaves. Snapping, “come on Sophia”. Her husband scampering after her. Danny waves in the most fruity way he can, speaking singsong,“🎵bbbyyyyeeeeee🎵“, looking to Sophia, “see you on Monday, yeah?”. She just nods at him with a slight smile.
Mr. Lancer blinks after a bit, “Daniel… I almost feel like I need to write you up for that entire stunt”, holding up a finger while pinching his nose and leaning back in his chair, “but. You probably did the right thing”. Danny can’t help chuckling at that, “I mean, I would say I did the right thing but my opinion on my own behaviour is absolutely super-duper biased”. Lancer glares at him while he continues, “and really? not believing in ghosts is a good way to wind up dead. Better to bite that bullshit in the ass than let them think throwing holy water at Johnny would be a good idea”.
Lancer blinks, “they would likely have bad luck for the rest of their lives”. Danny nods immediately, “understatement. Kitty would send that man to her alternate kiss dimension in a heartbeat”. Lancer just stares at him a little bit, “has… has that happened to you?”.
“Happened to all of Amity’s men slash boys once”.
Lancer chooses to not respond to that.
---
“Hmmmm. I see. He is rather handling it well. Fulfilling the proper and respective duties”.
“Ah yes indeed. As… begrudging as that is to admit”.
“We’ll have to have a… conversation”.
“But of course”.
“Most unfortunate”.
“Indeed”.
“But he will accept what he’s due”.
“As he should”.
“However, we can never be sure with… that one”.
“Truly unfortunate”.
“Time and her overseer favour that one far too much”.
“And yet they are right, which is also quite unfortunate”.
“Yes. Quite”.
“Well shall we get to it?”.
“Hmmmm no. Let four nine eight and four nine one deal with that one, they are unwise yet”.
“Very well. Watcher”.
Chapter 5: I Am The Guardian Of The Knowledge! The Knowledge Guardian!
Danny is having a morning alright? Sure he had a good-ish sleep, seeing as he apparently did decently well with the parent/teacher thingy excluding the fact that the school had now acquired a religious discrimination complaint (not that the school cared). And also sure, maybe he got out of genuinely fighting Technus by humble bragging since that ghost was ‘a man of science’ and thus was a sucker for any gossip involving someone taking the piss out of religious folks. Also also, he got waffles this morning. Big plus there.
So you’d think with all that he’d be about to have an awesome morning but nope. Instead, he is currently actively running away from his consequences. Well okay, mostly flying but he can’t exactly do that once he got to school.
Danny walks briskly into the classroom and shuts the door very firmly, even going so far as to lock it a bit dramatically before turning around and giving the class an awkward smile. Heading up to the board, “alright f͜ư͘ck҉͘ę͏r͡s̛-”.
He absolutely ignores the, “Open up”, from outside the door. Chuckling very awkwardly while the class glances at the door then back to him. Danny clearing his throat, “so now that the parent-teacher stuff is outta the way and y’all proved you’re not totally stupid with the quiz and mini lab thing. Why don’t we move on to lairs and contamination-”.
“Daniel James Janus Fenton”.
Danny sighs very audibly and stares up at the ceiling for a second, everyone else quirking eyebrows, snickering, or talking at each other.
“Uhhhh, I feel like he’s using us somehow”.
“Does he seriously have two middle names?”.
Valerie grumbles to herself a bit about how she didn’t even know Danny had a second middle name.
“Better yet one of them is ‘Janus’? The Hell?”.
“Ha, serves the freak right”.
Danny clears his throat a little, “anyway, the Eyes Of Ovi Colosseum is a perfect example of a really stupid specified lair for some mouthless d͏͜į͡ck҉̸͞s҉ nitpicking over laws who think they somehow have the right to control other peoples existences”, and throws a mild glare at the door. Bunch of floating cloaked dicks.
Emilie snorts and laughs into her hand, “oooh someone’s trying to throw a little shade”.
A couple of people chuckle at the, “we have responsibilities, Daniel. Now will you allow us an attendance with you”, that speaks up from the other side of the door.
James quirks an eyebrow, “that sounded more like a threat than a ‘please let me in, dickhead’”. Earning some nods and more chuckles.
“I’m more curious who Danny pissed off enough to stand angrily outside of the ghost-proofed door”.
Danny holds up a finger, “technically, they’re cops”. Earning him a round of shocked gasps and scandalised looks of horror. Rolling his wrist, “anyway, their lair is, like, the biggest standing prison. Vortex’s in it”, shrugging, “they might have tried assassinating me once…”, Danny continues without acknowledging or explaining on that one. And yes, he mentioned it purely to piss off the Observants and rub it in just a little bit more that they failed at ending his ass.
Once the class over bell rings though… he looks around awkwardly and with a level of fake pleading, “anyone suddenly feel like staying after class?”.
Val actually humours him (which he one hundred percent expected), ditto with Emilie actually. Todd just wants any excuse to skip class that doesn’t require him doing anything legitimately bad like leaving school property. Everyone else opting to get up and head to the door, though flashing him apologetic shrugs… or smirking meanly. You’d think they’d be nicer to a guy that can affect their grades. Fucking jerks. However it is Danny who gets to smirk meanly when there is -surprise surprise- two Observants floating outside his door that all of them have to skirt around very cautiously. The Observants, for their part, completely ignore all of his fellow teens/students; instead they just stare -if eyelidless giant eyes even can stare- at him intensely. Danny waves cheekily; they feel like they’re glaring. And pretty much all the other teens that see the Observants just kind of hide around corners and observe instead of heading to their next class. Nosy shits, Danny would do the exact same. He probably shouldn’t feel proud over their want for gossip outweighing the requirement to go to class or to practice self-preservation, but he totally does.
One of the Observants lifts up a boney green hand and points at him, “we need to speak with you”. Making Danny snort, cross his arms, and lean against his desk, “yeah I think I got that one after the multi-hour stalking session”. Valerie snorts at that though she is eyeballing the Hell out of the fucking ghosts.
“Alone”.
Danny puts a hand to his chest, “aawwwww, confessing your love for me in private? How scandalous”.
The Observant on the left looks to the one on the right, “I now understand why the elders didn’t want to deal with him”. Which fine, makes Danny feel exceptionally proud of himself. Emilie laughs, “oooo, I so want to know what Danny did to hurt these poor elders' feelings or whatever”. Danny side-eyes and smirks at her, “oh only colluded with a god to break the laws of temporal displacement”.
“I can’t even tell if you’re serious”.
Danny’s smirk grows malicious, “good”, then sighing and sagging, looking back to the two Observants, “fiiiiiiine. But no, I don’t know who jailbroke whatever prisoner out. Or where Plasmius has hidden whatever artifact of rare and overwhelming power. Or-”
The Observant on the right actually has the gall to interrupt him, “you are not to blame for anything”. The left one adding on, “currently”; making Danny snort. Him then gesturing at his three ‘students’, “but can’t you see that I am busy? I mean really. Some of us actually have work to do these days”; all three teens chuckling to themselves over that while also mildly pretending to be taking notes or some shit. But with another heftily sigh Danny moves to pack his shit… very slowly. Because technically legitimately snuffing the Observants was a recipe for disaster and Lancer probably wouldn’t appreciate the school getting beset by an army of eyeball assholes purely because Danny felt like being a bastard. That… and it might actually be something mildly important; which, arguably, he shouldn’t just ignore.
Today’s turned into real shit.
Valerie quirks an eyebrow at him when he throws his backpack over his shoulder, making the tailcoat flare out a little, “are you seriously going along with a pair of ghosts”, then glaring at Danny when he rolls his eyes at her.
“Val, it’s perfectly fine. Annoying, but arguably fine”, him shrugging, “it’s not like they can harm me”, looking to the Observants and smirking meanly, “seeing as they are incapable of doing harm”, snorting, “pfffft, fucking pacifists, am I right?”. A couple of people in the hallway are noticeably stifling snickers. The Observants, for their part, just ‘stare’ silently.
Joshep shouts from the hallway, “what are all you kids doing out here?!? Get to class!”. Danny’s pretty sure that he -and the Observants- is the only one who can hear Joshep muttering, “what the Hell did that Fenton kid do now? Why does my classes have to be so close to his? Just why?”.
Danny picks that moment to walk out of his classroom, look at Joshep, and laugh very loudly and sarcastically. Joshep grimaces deeply at him, eyes the two FUCKING GHOSTS, and grimaces deeper but also with slight fear. Val, Todd, and Emilie all slip out behind Danny; Val whispering at him, “I hope you know what you’re doing, Danny”. Making him smirk, “when do I ever”; earning him some major glaring. He’d bet money on her not actually going to class and instead trying to secretively follow him ‘for his safety’.
The hallway gets real empty real fast as soon as Danny walks off with the Observants following him a bit unnecessarily close; that really only encourages him to walk slower though so HA!
Just before exiting the building Danny quickly throws Lancer a text, you know, in case the man tries to go looking for him or some shit. Joshep will probably tattle on him for ‘having pet eyeball ghosts’. Though making a pet of an Observant would be one Hell of a power move, goddamn.
Danny : 🚓🚔🚓
Let his sorta boss think of that what he will, for now, Danny’s gotta go and deal with his problems. Apparently anyways. Kinda hard to skirt ‘the law’ when said ‘law’ were ‘all-seeing’. Fuck him.
-
By the time Danny and his two personal shadows get to the Colosseum he thinks the two Observants might just be starting to get close to overdosing on puns. Probably helps that Danny’s using the shittiest, corniest, dumbest ones he can possibly think of. And to think he only got halfway through his stockpiled eyeball-themed ones!
Him glancing around the Colosseum full of Observants, and apparently ClockWork? off to the side cleaning their staff lazily. Stupid Clocky, Danny so could have used a heads up; throwing them a quick pout -which they smirk slightly over- before looking up at Watcher, the head Observant. Putting his hands in his pockets, “soooooo? The fucks up, extra-large eyeball”.
Watcher leaves him hanging for a little bit before speaking up and Danny can practically hear the reluctance and regret in their voice, “Daniel James Janus Fenton Phantom, I’m certain it should come as no surprise to you that we are well aware of your recently acquired… position, as well as how your performance has tracked”.
Danny snorts, “so what? You fucks care about mortal realm teaching now? Isn’t that shit, you know, beneath you or whatever? Not that I actually care. Go ahead and get your knickers in knots about whatever the fuck you wanna. But this?-”, gesturing around lazily, “-seems a little excessive as retaliation for educating mortals. Dramatic as fuck, which mild props there I guess, but still-”.
Watcher cutting him off, “this is not a punishment, as you’ve already been made aware-”. Danny flips him off for that jab. “-rather your… position makes you qualified and befitted of another”.
What.
No seriously, what the fuck?
Danny blinks and tilts his head, “are you trying to also give me a job offer?”; the fuck is wrong with people and springing sudden surprise job offers for shit he is almost definitely largely not qualified for. Though fine, Danny as Phantom had a fuck tone of qualifications here in the Zone. Fuck, he even technically had right to claim the High Throne!
Watcher almost sighs and glances up for a split second, “the answer to your question is neither affirmative nor contradicting. You have taken actions no other has and doing so with more than just marginal success. As such you are the only being fulfilling the role of educating mortals and working through those means to ease the strained and threatening relationship between our realms-”.
Danny jumps in at that, throwing his hands out to the side, “you’re only now just noticing that?!? I’ve been pretty well doing that since the beginning!”. ClockWork holds up a finger, “but was that out of choice or necessity? And were any instances of you actually being educational simply accidents while you were doing what you do best?”, nodding to themselves almost smugly, “I think we both know the answer there, Daniel”; Danny rolls his eyes though blushes a little. Damn it, Clocky.
Watcher doesn’t actively acknowledge ClockWork -which he’s sure ClockWork’s gonna use as an excuse to fuck with them later. Fuck, they might be fucking with them right now- instead continuing to speak at Danny, “you are being granted a position of Ambassador and Sovereign Wisdom, Guardian of the passing of wisdom between the two realms”.
Danny blinks, oh my Ancients. Okay yes ClockWork was absolutely involved in this and the Observants are absolutely not happy about this. Guardians were BIG FUCKING DEALS. The High Sovereign was basically the only one above Guardians. Well and technically the Observants, but that was debatable. Danny snorts, “wow you guys must really hate yourselves. Here I thought you didn’t want me having more power?”. He can feel multiple glares.
Watcher themselves seemingly glares, “while that still stands, what is earned is earned and what is due is due. And while a Guardian of this variety is not necessary, it is beneficial to the realm and future. And, begrudgingly, you do it well”. Danny has to roll his eyes at that, the Observants and their ‘for the betterment of the future’, that got old before he even met them. He does actually put on his more serious face/posture when Watcher floats down to be more on level with him. “so will you accept?”.
“What, in any world, would make you think I’d say no? You don’t have to beg me, you bunch of eyeball crybabies?”. Like really? HE WAS ALREADY DOING THE ‘JOB’. The only reason he didn’t take the High Throne was the added boatloads of responsibilities; that, and he’d have to spend so much time here that he might as well just live in the Zone… not happening anytime soon.
“Very well”. Watcher raises a hand and waves it, a sceptre forming next to their hand floating in the air before it starts moving towards him slowly. Danny decides to leave Watcher hanging and mildly admire the black Arbutus wood with glowing blue carvings across it, legit looked pretty hecking cool. Clocky’s stiff pinstriped staff design wouldn’t exactly suit Danny’s quirkiness. The prehnite crystal on top was a definitively spooky pale opac green with green glowing falling feathers inside; at least the green in green didn’t look weird.
Danny shrugging after a bit and reach out to grab it, the three little silver bells secured by blue leather rope surrounding the crystal chiming slightly from the jostling. Danny furrowing his brows a little and sniffing at said bells; ignoring the twitching in his limbs from connecting to the artifact. Huh, well that smells a heck of a lot like sandalwood and frankincense; eh there was probably some inside. Danny is absolutely blaming the dangling red and green feathers on Ghost Writer giving him a fucking quill though.
Shrugging Danny leans the thing lazily on his shoulder and pointedly makes a point to not react even slightly to the weird pulsing come from in towards his core. Little uncomfortable but not nearly as uncomfortable as being impaled by a giant fishhook. Or mauled by a tiger. Or watching his dad disco dance in public. Little more uncomfortable than Lancer’s attempts to be ‘hip’ and ‘cool’ and ‘relatable’.
Danny thinks he’s being glared at again. ClockWork is absolutely smirking in the stands. Danny also not reacting to a cloak magically poofing into existence attached to his neck is probably annoying the Observants even more. Ha, suck on that. He is the unphaseable one! Phased by nothing! Who is also apparently king of knowledge! Lord of knowing! Yet stupid enough to show up with his clothes backwards more than once (how the fuck did he accidentally wear a jacket backwards and not notice it? Seriously self. Gosh). He does glance at the cloak though, lifting up one side judgingly. Chuckling, “black with blue stitching? What? No green to accent my eyes?”.
“We do not choose the appearance”.
Danny rolls his eyes, “yeah no fucking shit. Blue’s an educational, or whatever the fuck, colour”, tilting his head, “and Lancer’s why I even know that. Huh”. Poetry symbolism was useful for something he guesses. Oh and the clasp is a quill, goddamn that Ghost Writer. Fuck. He’s definitely ignoring whatever symbolism might be behind the slightly bondage harness-looking triple straps going across his chest, he doesn’t want to know honestly. The hood tip zig-zagging like a lightning bolt is supremely obvious though. Like, painfully obvious. patting it a little and looking back to the Observant, “so this all the shit? Don’t feel like fucking with my half-life any further?”.
Watcher almost audibly sighs, turns to borderline glare at ClockWork, “dress your child, ClockWork”. ClockWork grins and pretends not to hear them for a second before floating down.
Danny is perfectly content to let his ClockPops ruffle up his hair, both of them side-eyeing Watcher with mean smirks while ClockWork boops Danny on the cheek with their staff; Danny letting their energy mess with his appearance more than willingly. Suddenly his tailcoat is on him in ghost form, which yeah feels a little weird. An (ecto-ha) green frilled poet blouse underneath with little cufflinks that have ghost pipes (ha!) on them. Crushed black velvet trousers, straight cut and wide/baggy. Silver armoured boots and gloves, which fine, he’s a combative motherfucker. He can also feel some shit going on with his hair, a quick pat-down proving that apparently ClockWork decided he needed some flowers in his hair. Goddamn better be ghost pipes. Danny chuckling, “nice, Clocky”; they smirk lightly and fondly at him.
“But of course, Daniel”.
Watcher does their little hand-wavey glittery thingy taking an in-time ‘photo’ of him to send out through the realm, because bitch there be a new Guardian. Danny just chuckles, “can I go now?”.
“We’d prefer you did”.
Danny snorts, throws a peace sign and finger guns before just fucking off entirely. Him turning away to stalk off making the cloak swish in the air which reveals that the end is, like, curled up into something resembling a scroll. Fucking symbolism, Ancients.
-
Turning human when he gets back reveals the cloak changes to light blue with black stitching, well that’s convenient. Seeing as technically he’s supposed to wear the thing whenever he’s doing his ‘job’ so it changing with his forms is probably for the best. Phantom’s the Ambassador, Fenton’s the Sovereign Wisdom. Plus wearing a cloak to school is totally a weird quirky thing to do, which is perfectly up his alley. Sick as shit too. He’s gonna wear the hood down while human, up and tucked right behind his ears while Phantom; just for that little added difference. Danny had some sense of self-preservation. His clothing is still exactly what his ClockPops gave him… well okay the shoes look slightly more dress shoey than like straight-up knight's boots; eh that’s probably for the best too. Less noisy. And a head pat-down shows that the flowers have gone, good seeing as Sam would mock him relentlessly otherwise.
Whelp, he’s going home now. Because fuck doing anything else. Seriously. A quick check of his phone, however, reveals that Lancer actually got back to him.
Lance: for future reference, Daniel, please reframe from ‘getting ghost arrested’ during school hours.
Lance: I would appreciate a call, after hours of course.
Danny chuckles and shakes his head a little, eh might as well do that on his walk home. “Sup, Lance. I do not have another arrest on my record and I also did not destroy another jail”.
“I do hope that is not sarcastic, but I’m glad you’re alright from the sounds of it”.
Danny snorts, kicking a rock down the road, “nope. No sarcasm here. Perfectly fine. Just had to stand and talk in front of an entire colosseum of ghost cops slash judges and get my sentence”, snickering to himself, “now see that was sarcastic. Well, mostly. Really it was just me getting acknowledgement, or whatever, for basically teaching ‘the mortals’”.
That actually gets Lancer laughing a little, “well my job offer was never meant to get you in trouble or cause you hassle, though I doubt you mind much”.
Danny huffs and rolls his eyes, glaring at the stoplight to hurry the fuck up, “considering this let me annoy the absolute fuck out of the Observants? Zone no I don’t mind. Also I have a cloak now, that I am required to wear. So have fun with that school uniform upgrade”.
“Oh? I can’t wait to see, Daniel. I’m sure you’ll make the appearance work, so long as you don’t show up in a hazmat jumpsuit”.
Okay that one Danny has to laugh at, loudly, “yeah, no, that’ll never happen!”. He might love his suit but wearing anything remotely similar while human was just begging for trouble. Actively and explicitly.
“Good, good. Now I’m sure after all that excitement you’ve got work to do, so since I know you’re fine I’ll let you go”.
Danny smirks, “oh Ancients no, I’m going to bed and napping like the dead”.
“Bye, Daniel”.
Danny chuckles as the man hangs up, got ‘em with the death jokes.
---
Sam snickers and pokes Danny on the cheek, him flipping around in the air to avoid her prodding fingers, pouting at her, “meanie”. Now some may wonder why is she pestering him? well because an early morning flight revealed that the flower hair was still a thing and was likely to be a permanent thing at that. Fun. And he can’t even really be mad, because it’s basically a gift from Clocky. Ever rare and always cherished… by him at least.
Tucker goes and flicks one, “at least they’re ghostly”. Earning an eyeroll from Danny, “har har har, though fully agreed”, looking to Sam, “I am so looking forward to a confused and panicked call from Vlad. Because this-”, gesturing to his entire body, which while is back to his jumpsuit, he is still rocking the cloak and the staff’s stuck in a little solid prehnite ring, “-is not ‘standard halfa physical changes’ and we know how Vlad pays waaaaaaay too much attention to my physical appearance”.
Sam barks a laugh, “he pays more attention than you do”.
“In my defence, Vladdie’s got all the time in the world to be a weird nosey bastard. I, however, am a busy busy man”.
Tucker puts a hand to his chest, “if only you could work from home like me”; earning him a smack over the head from Sam. Danny just chuckles, transforming back human and planting his one good foot on the ground, “that’s only because they decided you’d be too much of a security and safety threat otherwise”.
“That changes nothing”.
Danny throwing his arms around their shoulders as they walk into the school. The administration just ignores them and doesn’t even try to force his two friends to get visitors badges, knew a lost cause when they saw one. Danny glances from one to another, “so you two just sitting in for funsies?”.
Sam rolls her eyes while Tucker chuckles, “Hell yeah why not”. Which Danny just laughs at while using their shoulders as support to lift himself off the ground, swing his legs up, and double kicks open his classroom door.
Ashley jumps, startled, and joins the rest of the class in staring at him before muttering, “Uh, how is it that we’re almost always here slightly before you”.
Danny scoffs, “because I’m chill like that”, while his friends carry him to and drop him into his seat before wandering to the back of the classroom. Danny holds up a finger, “also-”, throwing his one leg up onto the desk, gesturing at his armoured ‘dress shoes’ because yes, he’s still wearing Clocky’s gifts, “-I broke my leg in three separate places this morning. Fun, I know, no need to be jealous. Also got in a little light stabbing because I may have put a little too much effort into sassing someone”.
Valerie sighs very audibly and painfully, “Danny, why? Just why?”, she has long since learned to not care all that much about his injuries. His contamination whisked them away like magic anyway.
Emilie snorts, “I’m more interested in the fucking cloak”. Which Amber absolutely chimes in on, “talk about a fashion don't”. Danny points at her, “hey f̵̶uc̡k̶͝͞ you”; earning more than a couple laughs. Danny shrugging, “anyway, cloaky grants me special knowledge powers so I am officially ‘wise’”. That gets him an eraser to the head, which Danny ignores as he keeps talking, “the ghosties decided that teaching you ghost thingies is officially my job”.
Valerie stares at him, “… but that’s already your job”. Danny shrugs, “eh ghosts like to feel superior”.
Dash throws his hands out, completely derailing the conversation, “what? Are you not going to pink slip Jesse for the eraser?”. Danny smirks at his former bully, “nope. I do have one with your name on it if you’d like though”. Dash scowls at him and Tucker’s laughter is absolutely a bit loud. Which gets James’s attention, him turning to the two, “and what about you two? Why are you here?”. Sam smirks, “living crutches”. Which really should have been the obvious answer to everyone.
Danny beams, “yup! Waaaaay better than some s͟h̴̛it҉t̛y̵̧͜ wood. And yes I got hired by ghosts to do the thing that I already got hired by humans to do, am I changing the lesson plans because of that? Haha f͞u̴͜͟c͏͝k no. Now as for class, we’re gonna talk forbidden knowledge because I am feeling petty”. Which yes, people laugh at.
-
Barely halfway through Charles just kind of barges in, fuck Danny needs to redo his booby traps. Charles looking him up and down, smirking, “oh I so had to see this. Tell me you are starting a cult without telling me you’re starting a cult”. Danny blinks hard at that before bursting out laughing, pointing at him and deadpanning, “yes”.
Emilie beams and sits up straight, “oh we should absolutely all wear cloaks now, Hell yeah”. Amber glares at her, “I’d rather drop out”. Valerie just rolls her eyes at the preppy girl.
Danny looks to the girls, “a couple Christians have already made it their mission to report me daily for satanic indoctrination so that would have some interesting end results”. Charles chuckles, “oh this so is a cult, and if you were a spawn of satan I wouldn’t even be surprised”, then quickly closes the door.
Dale chuckles awkwardly, “I think one thing this class has taught me is that Mr. Trent is way weirder than I thought”. Danny snorts, “oh you have no idea, the things that man has asked me”. He also had a feeling the man tried to break into his house/bedroom once because he got over-excited about some curiosity of his. Shrugging, “back to illegal dealings with guardians and how our mayors a d̶̢i̶͠c̶̨͝k҉͏w͢e̷͟a͏şl̛͘e͘…”.
He doesn’t even get to speak for ten minutes before fucking Vlad bursts in. Danny really needs to re-booby trap that fucking door. Damn. Too bad Vladdie wasn’t in ghost form, then the anti-ghost coating on the door would have at least done something to keep out the rich nutter.
“Daniel, what the Gouda have you gotten yourself involved in now?”.
Danny looks to him slowly, gestures to his class dramatically, “excuse you, frootloop? I mean, timing. But Ancients, chill your tits. Could this not wait twenty f͜͟u̶̕c̸̢͝kin̸g̢̨ minutes? f͞u̴͜͟c͏͝k”. Vlad just glares at him.
Dash leans over to Dale, “the Zone is the mayor doing here?”. Dale just shrugs. Todd snickers meanly, “maybe Danny pissed him off too, because the mayor sure as shit isn’t here to see your shitty ass, Dash”.
“Fuck you”.
“Screw off, Todd”.
Todd just smirks smugly to himself instead of responding to either jock.
Emilie snickers, “maybe he felt Danny talking about him and was summoned”.
Sam smirks to herself, inspects her nails, and deadpans, “it’s cult powers”. Which lots of people actually make ‘ahhh’ and ‘hmmm’ and other understanding agreeing sounds at.
Vlad scowls at the goth, “oh nothing so drab or petty”, actually walking up to Danny and lifting up the cloak, “I am talking of this”. Looking to Danny, “butter biscuits, Daniel”.
Danny snorts, “no I will not butter your biscuits”. Vlad absolutely subtly shoots him with an ecto-beam in his good legs knee. Fucker. Danny rolling his eyes, “the Observants are occasionally tolerable… tolerable-ish. And are occasionally capable of being mildly decent… decent-ish”. Vlad stares at him for a bit before shaking his head, “your desire to be tortured out of existence truly amazes me”, smirking, “if you wanted to suffer you could just fill out a request and I’d be happy to appease you”.
Valerie coughs and actively spits out some water. Dale quirks an eyebrow, “did… did the mayor just threaten to torture Danny?”.
Emilie starts cackling, “yes, yes he did!”.
Danny waves everyone off, “oh please, this is tame and lame”, looking back to Vlad, “I would but only if I could get payment in the form of feeding your internal organs to your cat”. Vlad actually chuckles faintly at that and shakes his head almost fondly. Pulling on his suit jacket to straighten it, “well I guess you’re perfectly well, albeit stupid, but well. I’ll leave you to your… duties”.
“It’s only a duty if I make someone crap their pants”.
Vlad actually stops with his hand on the doorknob at that, looking back, “a poop joke, Daniel? Really?”. Danny just smirks and finger guns while Vlad leaves.
Danny glancing at the clock, “whelp, continuing this class is pointless”, shrugging and looking around at everyone, “I’m honestly amazed this hasn’t already come up yet but me and Vladdie have a very interesting family dynamic”.
Which results in multiple shouted, “FAMILY!?!?!?!?”, comments from everyone.
Valerie rolls her eyes and glances around, “he’s Danny’s godfather”. Danny beams and nods, “yup! And that I’m his chosen heir”.
Dash stares and mutters, “what the fuck”, at that; which, fair. Danny just chuckles meanly at him while the bell rings.
Amber walks up to him through, twirling her hair a little, “so are you, like, rich?”. Danny can absolutely tell people are taking their time to leave class just to hear his response. So Danny smirks, “whole fam is. FentonWorks makes a lot of money. Plus! the government pays us”.
Dale looks almost horrified and Dash is just muttering, “what the fuck”, to himself repeatedly. Amber shaking her head, “well you coulda said something”. Which Danny tolls his eyes at.
Sam doesn’t let him respond though, her snapping, “and what? Have all you people liking and ‘befriending’ him purely because of something so goddamn shallow? As if. Danny -Ancients we are better than that”. Amber, Dash, and Dale all make offended noises; Emilie and Todd can be heard laughing out in the hall. Fuck, Danny’s pretty sure he even hears Hanna loudly cackling out there and she’s not even in his class or even still in school still. Here to hang out with Emilie perhaps? Danny just keeps on smirking as everyone finally leaves and his door clicks shut.
Is he surprised when Vlad suddenly regains visibility next to his desk with crossed arms? Ancients no, fully fucking expected. Even Tuck and Sam are unphased, though they do chuckle to themselves a little while glaring mistrustfully at the man. Danny sighs and looks to the man, “Vlad, I’m fine”, gesturing around at the empty classroom, “all of this just apparently made me qualified to become a Guardian, a Guardian of knowledge”.
Vlad scowls at that.
“And also apparently I’m the ambassador of ghosts now?”.
Now that makes Vlad blink, “and you weren’t already?”.
“That’s what I said!”, waving a hand dismissively at Vlad, “it’s not like you were going to do that”.
Vlad shakes his head, “indeed”, frowning, “but ‘Guardian’? Really, Daniel”. Tucker coughs into his hand, “oooh someone's jealous”. Vlad barely dignifies that with a quick glare.
Danny shrugs, “eh it is what it is”, finger gunning, “but don’t you worry, Vladdie, I’ve still got that claim to the High Throne”.
“Unfortunate”.
Danny laughs, “to you maybe”, summoning out his staff from the ring and holding it lazily behind his neck to rest his head on it, “but for now I do the shitty duty of teaching”. Vlad glares at him for that repeat joke/joke reference. It was pretty crappy, ha ha.
Vlad purses his lips after a second, “well I could lend my expertise in that regard-”.
Danny snorts and cuts him off, “trying to ‘get in the good graces of a Guardian’ will not get you out of the very bad graces of the Observants”.
Vlad rolls his eyes though seems slightly disappointed, “as if my reasons would be so people-pleasing. You know I’m not the type”.
Sam audibly scowls, “oh we know”.
Danny, however, grins meanly, “now you can certainly be a guest speaker just to piss them off”, holding up a finger, “let’s make it about ghost portals and the effect they’ve had between realms”.
Vlad smirks at him, “you are playing with fire, dear boy”. Danny knows the man’s going to make his folks look bad, but honestly? hurting his parents' reputation was impossible and no one would be even slightly surprised. Also yes, he’s aware that basically having the two halfas discuss the very thing that made them halfas was actively asking for it. Sam and Tuck shake their heads in the background while halfa and halfa shake hands.
(Informing Lancer of this resulted in him genuinely questioning if Danny and Vlad were getting along these days, so guess Lancer also noticed his hostility towards the mayor, not that that was hard. Lancer was a bit confused by the fact that the town mayor was into the ecto-sciences though).
---
Apparently Charles, and maybe Danny’s entire class, took the ‘cult’ thing a little too seriously or maybe just had a little too much fun with the idea over the next week because now he’s been called into Lancer’s office to talk about starting a cult. Fuck.
Danny poking his head in and waving awkwardly, “heeeeeeey Lance-y”. Lancer just glares at him and sighs deeply, so Danny goes and takes a seat, “soooooo, I swear I didn’t actually start a cult this time”.
Lancer quirks an eyebrow, “‘this time’?”.
“Eh, it’s happened”. At Lancer’s pained expression Danny adds on, “hey, you knew full well what you were getting into. I keep reminding you of this”.
“And yet you keep one-upping yourself”. Danny finger guns and winks at that. Lancer shakes his head, “regardless, yes I’ve been getting a lot of concerned calls regarding cult behaviour. Though some are clearly just taking any excuse to complain about you specifically”.
“Yeah a lot of adult adults really hate my guts for some reason”.
“I couldn’t imagine why that would be, Daniel”. Lancer shakes his head again before digging in his desk and pulling out some papers, “so now you and I are going to be making up letters addressing this and sending them out to all the parents”.
Danny’s sags back in his chair and groans, “ah come on, man! This is Charles’s fault! Not mine!”.
“I’m sure you encouraged it”.
Danny gives a very petulant and pouty, “…maybe”, perking up a little, “but so did literally everyone else”.
“Students can get away with it, you, as a teacher, can not”.
Danny pouts at him again, “boo. Boo to you”. Which gets him glared at before Lancer hands him letters to work on. This is gonna suck ass. Fuck him.
-
Did writing up letters suck? YES. MAJORLY. But Danny was honestly cackling now seeing as Lancer let him read all the complaint letters. Some claiming he was certainly coding classes with hidden satanic messages of murder to increase the ghost population. Others claiming he was teaching them to torture people; which wasn’t entirely wrong, how to harm a ghost could be also used to torture them or a human technically. And a couple claiming he WAS a ghost, which was just straight-up true. There was two insisting that a priest needs to be present for his classes, which fuck no; he’s already had one too many run-ins with holy-water-rosary-clutching types.
Danny leaning back and chuckling, “people are crazy”.
“Coming from you?”.
Danny points at Lancer, “hey, crazy knows crazy”. Lancer puts his hands up in surrender.
---
Did Danny feel like having a guy who arguably could have actually become a cult leader if he wanted to guest speak the day after the letters went out was actively being spiteful? Yes. Though the fact that this happened on the day that Walker curb stomped his throat also felt spiteful. (Was Danny wearing crust punk pants again today? Absolutely, purely because of the multiple anti-cop patches on it). Danny clearing his throat painfully and using his quill to write on the board, ‘cheese head will be doing the talkie walkie today. Don’t play with portals kids’, and draws an arrow pointing at Vlad before sticking the thing back into his hair.
At least half the class quirks their eyebrows at him so he croaks out, “got throat curb-stomped by the po-po”. Vlad chuckles, “your timing is impeccable”. Danny flips him off while putting a little triangle of paper on the side of his desk reading ‘return books here ditto with the essay thingies on them’. Surprisingly almost all of them were undamaged. Val’s was a little singed and stained, Dash’s had a coffee ring on the cover, and Dale’s looked like it had been burned on a stove element; but Todd’s literally had the pages all torn out of the hardcover, it was obviously intentional.
Vlad eyes the stack for a second before actually addressing everyone, while the class tries not to be weird -or actively tries to murder him with her mind in Valerie’s case- over the mayor freaking Vlad Master, near richest man on the planet, teaching their freaking class. “For those of you that don’t know, which I imagine is all of you, I worked with Daniel’s parents in the ecto-field back in college”. That earns the man a round of coughs and disbelieving staring. Danny just nods to confirm the man’s statement.
Vlad speaks sounding truly pained, “Jack couldn’t make anything that didn’t go horribly wrong if his life depended on it, and that’s how he got me sent to the hospital for seven years with ecto-acne and didn’t even bother to visit”. Danny has to try really hard not to laugh at him. “I will find and force-fed you nails if you say anything, Daniel”. Which honestly just makes it harder not to mock the man relentlessly.
Todd speaks up for him though, “wow sounds like someone’s pissy, bet it was your fault actually”. Vlad glares at him, “coming from a child who’s going to get abducted by a man who wears glasses and a ratty scarf tonight”. Everyone gives Vlad some very confused looks and Danny has to put his head down and wheeze slightly painfully into his desk. This was a good idea. Also a horrible one, but whatever.
Vlad shakes his head, “Jack was the one who decided to power up a prototype ghost portal in my face, I will have you know”. Danny sticks up a finger and mutters, “diet pop in filtrator”. Earning a glance from Vlad, “that fudging imbecile”.
Emilie snickers, “I think the mayor hates Danny’s dad just a little bit”. More than a couple fellow teens nod.
Vlad then goes and erases Danny’s whiteboard writing and draws out an over detailed diagram of a man made protal and a natural one. Danny rolls his eyes at the overkill, but Vlad was nothing if not highly excessive. Who shows up to ‘teach’ in a fucking Armenian suit? Danny’s pretty sure the buttons are solid rubies, like, for Ancients sake.
“Natural or artificial some basic rules, that even the simple-minded can follow, are the same. Don’t create a portal in front of someone’s face. Don’t walk inside of one and then activate it-”. Danny doesn’t so much as move when Vlad smacks the side of his head, ever since Vlad found out that that was how Danny half-died the crazy nutter has given him shit for it at every opportunity. So he saw the head smack coming a mile away.
Dale chuckles, “looks like Danny’s a dumbass”. Dash snickering meanly, “what’s new”. Danny absolutely holds up a pink slip over that. “Oh come on!”, Dash sags in his desk grumpily; you’d think the guy would learn. Vlad’s just smirking faintly before continuing, “don’t walk through randomly. And don’t tie a string to it and another person in an attempt to make the portal follow them”, Vlad smacks Danny over the head again. Danny has a feeling Vlad’s annoyed with him today for some reason. It couldn't possibly be that Danny replaced the water in his water bed with wet cement just before he went to bed two days ago, could it? Never mind, Danny knows that is exactly why. Fuck that was funny.
“Hey, it worked”.
“It really should not have, Daniel”.
“Cloning also shouldn’t work yet here we are”.
Vlad glares at him but continues talking at everyone, “another basic rule is that if the portal is any colour other than green, leave it alone; the town and I will not cover whatever happens if you don’t…”.
Vlad actually manages to get to go on for a while without being actively petty towards Danny or starting a mild bickering match with him. Danny’s honestly a little impressed. Vlad also gets almost overexcited repeatedly, very much proving he’s a scientist at heart while also clearly forgetting he’s talking to teenagers; more than a few things clearly go over everyone’s head. Val still looks like she’s plotting murder though; Danny can admire the tenacity.
But when Danny straightens out a bit from his ghost sense going off Vlad sighs, picks him up by his cloak collar and just walks him to stick out the window, unceremoniously dropping him. Danny screaming, “WHAT THE FU̢C̶͞҉K͟! FU̢C̶͞҉K͟ YOU!”, as he falls and hits the bushes below with a thud. Vlad leaning his head out to reply, “you were going to leave anyways, thought I would simply hurry the whole process up. I do know how lazy and tardy you can be”.
“I WILL PISS IN YOUR FRIDGES FANCY ICE-MAKING COMPARTMENT!”.
Vlad doesn’t dignify that with a response, instead turning back to the class with a smirk, “so on how to topple the ghost government…”. The class stares at him in shock and amusement at the sudden subject change. Valerie just stares with even more hatred now knowing full well he set her up during the Pariah incident when he gave her that ring. She does throw an ‘are you okay’ text to Danny though, which he responded with ‘I smell like bush’ to.
What’s really sad is that Danny got dropped in a bush from the second story of a building because the Box Ghost was having a lovers quarrel with The Lunch Lady in the park. By the time Danny got there it had descended into a full-blown food fight involving boxed-only foods. More than a few townsfolk had even joined in, and honestly? Danny said fuck it -not out loud ‘cause fuck his throat still hurt- and just joined in the chaos.
Vlad could handle a class of teenagers and if the man tried anything then Val wouldn’t hesitate to outright commit attempted murder.
Did Boxy win the food fight? No, obviously not. The Lunch Lady wasn’t super powerful but she still outclassed The Box Ghost’s ass. Danny finger gunning at the box-themed man who’s currently covered in crackers, “I’d buy her something nice before she decides to fill all your boxes with enough meat to make them rounded”. The Box Ghost looks completely scandalised and insulted, “you don’t think she would”.
“Oh she would, Boxy. She absolutely would”. Considering that women caused a meat tsunami purely because Sam wouldn’t eat meat…
The Box Ghost flies off in a hurry and Danny gets to back to his class with literal armfuls of boxed goods. He also got to discover that Vlad could not handle a class of teens who were now discussing how to overthrow Vlad from the mayoral office to the mains dismay and insult. Vlad looking at him, “your students are demons. Suiting”. Danny just chucked a box of frootloops at him.
(Apparently and according to the Ghost Writer, the Observants went and gave Walker shit for interfering with his Guardian duties. Danny was absolutely tickled green by this news. The Ghost Writer, however, was not happy about Todd’s apparent intentional destruction of a book; Danny doesn’t envy Todd who did, in fact, get abducted that night).
Chapter 6: Feather Quills And ‘Tests’ To Fill
“Danny, you’re overthinking this”.
Danny sighs and leans back in his chair, groaning very loudly at his bedroom ceiling before looking to his sister, who was, as per usual, attempting to be helpful… helpful-ish. “But this is the final, it’s kinda a big fucking deal. And considering how fucking splendidly I usually did on those things, how the FUCK am I writing one up? Plus, like, how do I condense this shit? Do you know how many subjects I wound up covering? Too fucking many!”.
Jazz hums encouragingly at him so he just keeps on ranting, which was probably exactly what she wanted.
Danny gesturing a hand around wildly, “ecto-biology, ecto-linguistics, ecto-medicare, ecto-history slash ecto-culture, ecto-psychology slash ecto-behaviouralism, ecto-literature, ecto-mechanics… Too fucking many”, sighing and sagging, “also pretty sure I just made up, like, all those names”.
Jazz giggles a little, “ecto-Medicare is accurate, though I have a feeling you explained far more than just treating ecto-burns or regular ecto-contamination”. Danny snaps his fingers at her, “well obviously, might as well teach the fuckers how to treat a ghost and not just humans affected by ecto stuff”.
“A roundabout way to achieve self-preservation. Should any of them stumble across an injured Phantom”.
Danny pointing aggressively at her, “hey, none of that”. Jazz just could not chill it with the psychoanalysing. She just grins at him like she’s done nothing wrong. Him sighing again and just staring up at his ceiling, randomly mentally drawing out the constellations his glow-in-the-dark ceiling stars made.
Jazz getting up and ruffling his head jerks him out of his ceiling watching though, “hey!”, him flailing his hands around to shoo her off which, as per usual, just makes her giggle at him fondly; which he absolutely pouts at her over. Her speaking up after a bit, “you know, if you find a proper written test so annoying you could just simply do something more unconventional”, her beaming a bit smugly, “my advanced abnormal psychology prof didn’t even make a final at all”.
Danny rolls his eyes, “yeah but that’s university, they can do that. And as awesome as it is that you got to start break early, they should have kept you”, and smirks while she shoves him one.
“Now that was just mean, Danny”. Shaking her head and going back to sitting on his bed, “but I am serious. Do a final project, or just an essay”.
Danny glares slightly, “essays as finals are the goddamn worst, I would never”; she rolls her eyes at that.
“I prefer them actually”, nodding to herself, “far more room for exploring ideas and showing your prof your personality”.
Danny grumbling, “more like how to really rub it in when someone doesn’t know everything perfectly”. Sighing after a bit, because she did have a point. Tests were fucking bullshit and did a shitty ass job of doing literally anything other than telling how good someone’s short-term memory was. Becoming more opinionated about how schools do schooling is one side-effect of this teacher thing that he so did not see coming. Eh whatever, not like he isn’t right. But what the fuck else can he even do? What could even qualify as ‘finals’ worthy? He sure as shit isn’t doing oral presentations, those things were like a mild form of torture… unless you were a drama kid, which Danny was not. Sure he didn’t have to worry about whatever the fuck being an absolute clusterfuck because a regular-ass test would be a clusterfuck anyway since he basically covered the ghostly version of EVERYTHING, EVERY SUBJECT AVAILABLE IN SCHOOL… except math. Fuck math. What kind of nightmare test jumps from laws of an alternate death dimension to ghostly art? Ghost hunger followed right up by portal safety? Plus, does he even remember everything he taught? Ha ha FUCK NO! What, in any world, would make anyone think otherwise. A ‘project’ would totally help deal with that issue. Grumbling, “how would I even have a project that covers everything?”.
Jazz humming to herself and tapping her chin, “well you could have them go fishing for blob ghosts through a portal?”.
Danny blinks a bit harshly, what the fuck? Looking to her, “Jazz… what the Zone kind of Uni friends have you been making?”. Though he guesses that anything involving blob ghosts would cover a tone of shit. And it’s not like he hasn’t talked a literal fuck ton about blob ghosts. They were like a go-to example/comparison tool.
Jazz shrugs, “my dorm-mate likes to fish dangerous fish”. Danny just blinks, well that sorta? explained it. Sorta.
“What kinda fish”.
“She kept a displayed piranha”.
Danny whistles at that, damn, “guess Amity’s not the only land of crazies”. She laughs a little at that and nods with slightly crinkled eyes.
Danny uses his foot to push himself around in his chair, grumbling incoherently to himself. He did kinda like the idea of dragging blob ghosts into his problems, but taking people portal fishing -snort- was just ridiculous even by his standards. Not that Charles hadn’t ‘gone fishing’ in his desk to get his hands on one; yes Danny’s still a little miffed about that, but hey, at least the man kept his grubby hands out of his desk ever since.
Blinking, wait a fucking minute…
Grinning, Danny stops spinning and loudly slams his hands down on his desk repeatedly, “HA! Pet ghosts!”. Jazz shakes her head good-naturedly, “not sure the school will go for an adopt-a-ghost program as a final”.
Danny points at her and snaps his fingers repeatedly and a bit excitedly, “no no no no no no. Blob ghosts. Catch your own blob ghost. Keeping It ‘alive’ would cover almost everything, catching It would cover most else, and naming It, like, a ghost name in ghost speak could be the whipped cream on top!”.
“Danny, how are you going to get all the parents to even agree to that?”. Glaring at him when he smirks, “without abusing overshadowing”. Danny actively pouts at that. He does have an actual answer though, “oddly most of them take me seriously or respect me some. Weird, I know”, sighing slightly and tilting his head, “Sophia’s still hate my guts though”.
Jazz laughs at him, “so what you’re saying is that they are not going to approve”.
“When does everyone ever approve of the shit I do? Get the majority vote and everyone else can just suck it up”.
“See that is likely part of why they apparently hate you”.
Danny flips her off for that one.
Jazz shaking her head and getting up, “regardless, feel like treating your very proud big sister to dinner?”. Danny rolls his eyes fondly and sighs like this is just so much effort and such a massive hassle while getting up, “fine. But we’re going to the Soup And Ham Can because their coffee’s good”. That earns him an eye roll right back as they head out of his room.
---
Now see Danny wasn't stupid or mean, he damn well looked around town to make sure that a bunch of teens could feasibly capture some blob ghosts… without ghostly superpowers. And yeah he also did the responsible thing of actually doing the proper paperwork which made him feel super old and simultaneously like he was too young to do this kind of shit. He’s eighteen and ‘doing paperwork’? Fuck. It so didn’t help that he accidentally complained about paperwork around Vlad, which turned into the elder halfa complaining about his own paperwork; which both of them got just mildly weirded out by. Vlad still thought of him as a child after all, and Vlad was absolutely an old man in Danny’s eyes. It was fucking weird. Vlad did get a little smug about Danny ‘being like him because there’s no way that fool Jack did any paperwork’, which did cause the entire encounter to turn into a minor fistfight. Regardless of the man being right or not.
At least Danny was stronger than the man these days, and both of them were well aware of that. Which honestly? might be part of why Vlad chilled the fuck out.
Anyway, said paperwork that’s making him feel old is absolutely why he’s getting an early morning Lancer call. Has to be. Unless Danny absentmindedly destroyed something without knowing it… which was always a fair possibility.
“Daniel, I’ll admit this is probably the most interesting request I’ve ever received as a finals alternative and I can’t say I’m particularly surprised that you’d rather forgo a formal written final”.
Danny snickering and leaning against the park's water fountain, “hey you know me, I like to keep things lively in the deadly kinda way”.
“And so long as blob ghosts aren’t capable of being deadly then I don’t see a reason to deny this. But this can not interfere with other classes, as in, they can not bring ‘awesome pet ghosties’ to their other classes”.
Danny snorts at that, yeah no fucking shit, “well duh, Lance. That would be asking for trouble especially with Charles”.
Lancer audibly sighs, nearly groans actually, on the other end, “now I don’t doubt that. And because I don't want any possibly ecto-contaminated paper from FentonWorks making its way into the students' homes, I already sent out the permission slips”.
Danny blinks, well damn, appreciated he guesses? Blinking again, “huh, well ah, thanks, Lance, I guess. I’m taking it that you just mailed them out though and that I still have to actually tell my own class of fellow teens that they have mandatory pets now?”. That gets a chuckle out of the man.
“You requested this, Daniel, now you have to deal with it. Though somehow I think you’ll be getting ‘thank you’s rather than annoyed groaning and complaining”.
Danny chuckles, “hey if you want everyone to like you more you shouldn’t assign so much work”.
“I’d be doing you teens a disservice”.
Danny rolls his eyes at that one, the man was dedicated he’ll give him that much. “Not ‘fully grasping literary genius’ isn’t really gonna affect anyone negatively, Lance. I’d definitely rather sleep than brush up on your beloved Shakespeare”.
“It’s good for the mind”.
“So’s sleep”, snorting, “and I missed enough of that as it is”.
“Now that I can agree and attest to, considering your class habits. I’ll let you go”.
Danny blinks at his phone, well that was abrupt. Fucking rude. Eh, it’s not like Danny didn’t fuck off randomly all the time. Oh well. Sighing and pushing off of the fountain, “whelp, guess I know what I’m stuck doing tomorrow… or the day after tomorrow? Fuck, what day even is it?”.
Hint: it was Friday. And Danny, like a dumbass, forgot to even attempt to show up for class.
“Ah well. Fuck”.
It probably says a lot that Lancer didn’t even bother cussing him out for that. Should he feel ashamed? embarrassed? at least a little guilty? Probably. Does he? Honestly, no. He stopped feeling guilty about that kind of shit a long ass time ago. Being a little half-dead hero that has to tap out constantly and lie all the time kinda does that to you after a hot minute or two. Which probably wasn’t exactly healthy. But also, it’s not like ‘healthy’ was really a thing he was familiar with these days. Eh, whatever.
Anyway, time for a night fly/patrol.
---
So now it was Monday and Danny officially has to ‘face the music’ or whatever the fuck.
To bad Technus got fancy with the house's microwave and basically destroyed half of Danny’s bedroom. Meaning he couldn’t even look good… good-ish. He absolutely gets some smug pride from the fact that him going to his ‘professional job’ in tattered clothes would piss Vlad off something fierce though. Actually deciding to stick with wearing a pair of pants with one leg torn off so badly that his boxers were able to be seen probably wasn’t the world's smartest idea. At least his shitty Antichrist button-up t-shirt was intact! … More or less anyways. (It was missing a pocket and maybe the bottom wasn’t quite the same shape it once was but he’s not too sure about that bit). The cloaks perfectly fine of course, being ghostly clothing and all.
Pushing the classroom door open with his foot, “alright little ectoplasm knowledge nuggets, we actually have some housekeeping s̷͞h̷i͞ţ̧ to see to so…”.
Val doesn’t even let him actually get to the whiteboard, “so what was up with Friday?”.
Emilie leans back in her seat, “yeah, the only class that’s actually neat is also the one class with a tardy teach”.
Danny points at her, “hey, I resent that statement of truth”, finishing his walk to the board and smacking it, “honestly? I forgot”. Val just stares at him so he winks at her, earning him a scowl and a thrown pencil; which he lets just bounce off his head. Pulling out his quill and striking it all the way down the board, the words ‘FINAL ASSIGNMENT’ magically forming.
Jesse shakes his head, “I still don’t understand that stupid quill”.
Brittney scoffing, “whatever, it’s not like he’ll give us one”. Danny snorts over his shoulder at that, “yeah, no s̷͞h̷i͞ţ̧”. Turning around dramatically enough to make the cloak fan out, “what’s also no s̷͞h̷i͞ţ̧ is that finals are a thing and that I also -like any sane teen- hate written exam s̷͞h̷i͞ţ̧, so we’re not doing that”.
To no ones surprise that announcement results in some smiles, some cheers, one or two fist pumps/high fives, and multiple relieved sighs.
Val chuckles and leans her chin on a palm, “yeah I was wondering how you were going to write some test that covered everything”. Danny absolutely chuckles and nods at that.
Plopping down onto the side of his desk, “so hear me out, since I’m obviously not writing some written thingamajig out and I’m not nearly enough of a sadist to make oral presentations a thing that’s happening”, clapping his hands together cheerily, “so instead y’all are gonna be ghost hunters for a bit”, shrugging, “or for however long it takes you to catch a blob ghost in our town”, tilting his head and tapping his chin, “which honestly shouldn’t take that long all things considered”.
The class just blinks at him for a bit before most burst out laughing.
Emilie wheezes a little, “you are one quirky fucker”. Valerie shaking her head, “here I thought you were about to ask us to catch a proper ghost”, smirking, “which I’m down for”.
Danny rolls his eyes, “as fun as it would be to torment Boxy by making fifteen odd teens repeatedly catch him, I doubt that would accomplish much”.
Todd puts his hands behind his head, “we can totally still do that”. Dale laughing, “HA! Yeah! That could be fun!”, and elbows Dash a couple of times which turns into a mild dude-bro shoving match. Todd snickers meanly at that before looking back at Danny, “and what’s up with the lame-ass underwear? Becoming a bad stripper or something”.
Danny rolls his eyes at the jab, “Technus got a little friendly with a microwave”.
“They’re green”. Apparently, Todd doesn’t give a flaming fuck about the ‘why’, just the colour. Figures.
Valerie rolls her eyes at the fake ass ‘bad boy’, “Danny’s a joke, of course they’re ecto-green”. Danny nodding and rolling his hand about in the air, “and besides, sleeping in phase-proof underwear is a pretty solid idea, all things considered”. That earns some understanding cringing from the class. Danny sticking up a finger, “just like having you lot bring me some captured but not destroyed-”, giving Val a meaningful look, “-spookies makes perfect sense for an ecto-ology final!”.
A couple of people shrug, Ashley muttering, “oh what the Hell”, toying with her fingers a little, “but does it have to be a big one?”.
Danny waves her off, “naw, so long as it’s in the blob family I don’t care”.
James sighs, leaning on a palm, “but why can’t we just do something normal? An essay?”.
Danny puts a hand to his chest in mock offence, “why I never! I just said I’m not a sadist”, waving a hand around, “and because, I am the true multimedia teacher of spooky academia, just handing out knowledge like a new kind of haemophilia. So I am creating g̵͡o͝d̶͡d͠҉am̛n͘҉ new educational finals criteria. Just don’t go getting into necrophilia on me”, and winks as everyone else groans.
Dustan muttering, “so much for not being a sadist”. Sophia sticks up a hand.
“Yes?”.
She plays with her fingers a little, “well, um, what about our parents?”.
James jumps in, “hey yeah, are we just supposed to keep a ghost in our rooms till finals week?”.
Dash scoffs, “aww is some scared of a little blob ghost”. James just rolls his eyes at that.
Danny shrugs, “eh Lance already sent out permission stuff so parent stuff’s already covered. And naw, catch one by…”, humming to himself, “… oh let’s say next Monday. Bring me proof”, holding up a finger, “but also don’t let the little bugger go. Because if you think all I’m asking is ghost capture then ho boy you’re wrong”. Let them make of that what they want. More than a few look slightly disturbed and he absolutely hears Ashley mutter something about dissection. Danny’s pretty sure Lancer wouldn’t let him get away with that. The blender stunt had been pushing it already, apparently there was a such thing as detention for teachers. Shudder.
Jesse glares at Danny then Valerie, “you better not be marking this on time because some of us have unfair advantages”.
Dash jumps in, “yeah! Little miss anti-ghost psycho probably fantasises about this!”.
Todd rolling his eyes, “as if you need to worry about that, you’d piss yourself before catching one anyway”.
“FUCK YOU!”.
Danny chuckles, his class was probably the only one where anyone could shout ‘FUCK YOU’ and not get in shit. Though Dash being ‘star football star McGee’ probably wouldn’t get in trouble for it in any class. Tch. “Now now, just g̵͡o͝d̶͡d͠҉am̛n͘҉ catch one”, shrugging, “don’t care how or when or colour or whatever the f̵̛u̕͞c̴̶̡k̶̨͠. Ancients, go climb a crane and fish one out of the bucket for all I care. But if you die, don’t haunt me”.
Val sighs, giving him an exasperated look, “great, now someone’s going to do exactly that”. Emilie laughing, “I call dibs!”. Making Val thump her head on her desk. Danny does at least give her an apologetic shrug, hey not his fault that people like to take him up on his bullshit to fuck around and find out.
(Did someone actually take him up on the crane idea? According to the news, yes, yes someone did. Danny’s personal bets are not on Emilie even if she did ‘dibs it’, it was probably one of the quiet kids honestly. At least they were smart enough to wear a disguise. So long as Lancer doesn’t find out…).
---
Danny groans face down in his bed, Lancer was in his bedroom. WHY?!?!?!? Well okay, he knew exactly why. Lancer specifically asked for Danny’s makeshift final to not interfere with other classes and what happened? Well apparently a blob ghost ate the cord to the old school projector that Joshep loved so much. BECAUSE OF COURSE THAT HAPPENED! Danny had some truly shit luck. Groaning again, “I didn’t ask them to randomly bring them to school!”, mumbling, “at least not until next week”. What dumbass caused his problem? Probably Todd honestly. Dash might want to shit kick him but the jock was not nearly petty/sneaky enough to ‘get Fenturd’ in this kind of roundabout way. Todd, however, was the definition of petty. Though Danny was a lot more petty; but he’s a ghost! He’s allowed to be!
Lancer sighs faintly, “you’re still the reason ultimately. Even if Joshep has little room to talk, considering how his class law experiment went”.
“You’re talking about the one that was a recreation of that prison psychology excitement thing? Because yeah, that was bad even by my standards and my experience with jailers involved a lot more tasers”.
“… Daniel, I explicitly remember you tasing people at that time even though you weren’t even in his class”. Danny can practically hear his technical boss shaking his head, “that doesn’t change that you owe Joshep a new projector, and I am not putting it on the FentonWorks tab”. Danny groans very loudly over that. Fuck.
Danny rolling over in his bed and just staring at the ceiling, “forcing me to spend the paycheck you give me on stuff for the school, smarmy shit”.
“That word doesn’t mean what I think you believe it does”.
Danny shrugs, “eh. And besides, Lance”, turning his head to actually look at the man, who quirks an eyebrow before Danny continues, “lords of knowledge, or whatever, should be allowed to ban finals because reasons”, putting a hand very egotistically to his own chest and trying to bleed ego, “a lord like me specifically”.
Lancer chuckles and shakes his head slowly, “I’m sure you would ban them if Id let you”.
“Oh yeah, no shit. In a frickin’ heartbeat-”.
Both of them pause and glance at the floor when a very loud explosion sounds and actually makes the floor shake a little. Not for the first time Danny’s glad he’s nailed/screwed down a large majority of the shit in his room. He even got those weird suction drinking cups that even he, with his ghostly strength, couldn’t slap over.
Barely seconds later his mom pushes open his door, smiling quickly at Lancer, “sweetie, Mr. Lancer, you may what to head outside”, rolling her eyes a bit fondly, “Jack, the dear, might have blown up the photon carbon ecto-endaton”.
Danny blinks, “you mean that new bomb thing? You guys actually blew up something that was supposed to blow up?”. His mom actually has the fucking balls to nod sheepishly. Lancer, however, is sweating unpleasantly.
They absolutely head outside.
Danny patting Lancer on the shoulder while they stand from the sidewalk watching smoke pour out the door/windows, “I’m guessing this’ll be the last time you make an unexpected house visit?”.
“… your home life worries still… this has not helped”.
“‘Life’! HA! Good one!… so will you not dying today count as payment enough?”.
“No, Daniel. Just no”.
“Damn. Was getting my hopes up for a second”.
Lancer glares at Danny a little before heading home; Danny cackles to himself a little. He may be paying for Joshep’s stupid projector love out of his own pocket, but at least he got to make someone -Lancer- regret their life choices in the process. His ghost sense going off tells him that he’s also going to get someone to regret their death choices. Nice. Two for one coupon.
---
Thankfully there were no other blob ghost-related incidences, that Danny heard about, before Monday.
“So did everyone catch a blob ghost?”. That question gets Danny a pretty solid round of ‘yes’s and people holding up blobs in jars or just waving around their phones to show pictures of their particular blob. Danny nodding to himself, “good good”, sounding ominous, “now your final can begin”.
Earning lots of concerned staring and worried glances at the present blob ghosts. Which makes sense, ominous-ness deserves at least some worry. Especially considering the things that usually followed Danny specifically being ominous.
Danny, content with his mild terrorising, actually explains himself while staring down his class like he’s some kind of government agency boss, “your assignment is thus, you will keep that blob ghost ‘alive’ until the twentieth. One full month. And you bet your knickers I’m gonna be tagging your suckers so I will know if you f̵̛u̕͞c̴̶̡k̶̨͠ it up and try to replace them”, glaring at the class comically, “you can keep it trucking however you see fit, use that knowledge! Bring It to hang around Cored ghost! Give It ecto food! Ecto-water! Use your imagination”, chuckling, “just don’t try creating a ghost portal to throw It in the Zone. That’s a real good way to die”.
Jasper grumbles, “yeah the freaking mayor was pretty clear about that”.
Amber purses her bubblegum pink lips, “and how do you plan to ‘tag them’? Half of us didn’t even bring ours!”, and huffs to herself. Danny smirks almost meanly and flops backwards in his chair to spin around more lazily in it, “I’m a teacher not a cop, meaning I don’t have any jobly standards against breaking and entering”.
Emilie snorts and starts snickering while Dash half shouts, “there’s no way a twerp like you has the guts!”. Dale shrugging, “well his freak folks do bust down walls all the time”.
“Still! Fenton’s a wimp!”, Dash grumbling to himself a little, “even if he’s manned up a little”, grumbling even quieter to himself, “… and some of the wimpiness was faked”.
Danny rolls his eyes, toying with yet another pink slip, “pinky pinky someone should keep their lips zippy zippy”. Earning death glares from Dash. Danny chuckling, “anyway, considering my lack of giving a s̛hi̸t̡ about school rules and whatnot you'd think me also lacking in the s̛hi̸t̡ giving department towards general laws would be some kind of a given”, shrugging, “eh whatever. I’ll tag your suckers and I’ll tag ‘em just right”, and smirks, turning back to face the whiteboard.
Valerie rolls her eyes and coughs a little, “well that wasn’t creepy at all, Danny”. Which really only makes Danny smirk more as he shoves himself out of his chair before going about writing up what in all this ‘final assignment’ even involved with his funky little quill. And while everyone goes about reading that shit he’ll walk around and ‘mark’ all the little blob ghosts, which sit all pretty and proper for him; being that he’s the strong ghosty here and being that they all ‘live’ in his wonderful little lair.
Brittney scowls at her blob, “why does It listen to you? Every time I touch It, It tries to bite me”, her attempting to pet It and getting almost bit in response feels like emphasis, and more than a few people nod at that. Danny just chuckles meanly, “because they fear me”, and moves on without explaining that at all.
Dash scowls and grumbles down at his desk, “as if anything fears him”. Which really just makes Danny smirk. Oh how wrong that was, in more ways than one. Which he wasn’t exactly always happy about. Danny did like certain fear, he was a ghost after all, and he definitely liked it if it was The Observants or Boxy’s fear. Just not genuine fear from the general population of humanity, Amity, the Zone, etcetera.
Danny popping back over to the board, “ookily dookily, now that that’s done and over with”, glancing at the class meanly, “I will get the rest of you later”, then back to the board, “now for actual class class s̛hi̸t̡. Which yeah sure fine, this has nothing to do with the final so technically you could just ignore my a̡̡s͢͞s̸ or f̢̡u͞c҉k͡ off entirely if you think you can sneak out for a half hour-ish without getting caught. But hey! My s̛hi̸t̡ might be useful s̛hi̸t̡”, shrugging, “or at least interesting. Unlike most stupid classes”. That gets him some snickers and laughs. Success. He’s also not surprised no one takes him up on the ‘fucking off and leaving’ option; most people took this class because they actually wanted to hear some nut job yammer on about ghosts… or at this point they just wanted to bear witness to whatever shit might happen to or be done by Danny. Perfectly understandable.
---
“You did what?”.
Danny shoves another mouthful of the noodle dish in his mouth before looking up to his mom, “uhhhh, it seemed like a better idea than some useless info dump regurgitation required test”. Okay so maybe it was stupid of him to think that his folks, oblivious as they often are, would just… not notice? people running around after blob ghosts.
She gives him a worried look, “but Danny, they’re still ghosts. Still dangerous”. Danny makes a point not to roll his eyes. Sure her genuine worry was ludicrously misplaced and steeped in ectophobia but it was still genuine… and while Danny is indeed a little shit, he’s not an utter dick.
He does still wave her off though, “i’s’ine”, swallowing his food, “it’s not like they haven’t spent an entire semester learning about this shit. Ghost shit”. She frowns at him, “still”.
His dad waves her off goofily, “oh I'm sure the kids have some idea what they’re doing, Mads!”, laughing loudly, “especially with Danno over here!”, and smacks Danny one on the back hard enough to make him cough. Danny appreciates the confidence but does he really have to get mildly assaulted at the same time? Not that he really minded but still.
Danny sticking up a finger, “and besides, Lance did approve it soooooooo…”, and waves his hand around limply. He’s honestly a little amazed by that fact still. Either Lancer trusted him a wee bit too much or didn’t want to see what else he might request if denied. It worked out mighty fine if you ask Danny. So far everyone seemed to be doing fine, sure Val had called and asked if she’d lose marks if she ‘used It as a pin cushion’; Danny said ‘yes’, of course… she was definitely disappointed. And both Dash and Dale were trying to teach theirs to fetch footballs. He might have to go give Todd a talking to about trying to turn his into some kind of feudal warlord over the other ‘wild’ blobs though.
She sighs and picks at her food a little, “it’s not that I don’t trust Danny”, actually looking at Danny, “but couldn’t you have just had them catch and release or even track Phantom down and hand them off to him?”. Danny sighs a little, “but that would have hardly covered anything. How’s that supposed to test their understanding of low-level behaviouralism or stuff like ghost hunger”. She actually blinks at him, sounding slightly confused, “ghost… hunger…”.
Ah
Shit
Right
Sometimes he forgets he actually knows -and teaches- shit his folks don’t actually know. Which is weird all alone. But hey, ectophobes don’t deserve to know. So Danny just shrugs and elects not to even attempt to explain himself. They’re -or at least his mom, based on his dad going back to chowing down food- are probably just slightly worried about what he’s teaching his fellow teens.
His mom, of course, presses the issue, “…Danny…”. Which Danny takes as the perfect time to get up and head towards the door, “whelp, guess I should go and stop someone from establishing tyrannical blobby rule”, waving his folks off as he actually heads out said door, “Todd’s kinda a dick… and moron”. He doesn’t miss his mom frowning or her muttering, “maybe this job wasn’t the best idea… and is he implying someone’s trying to teach leadership to a blob?”. His dad laughing a little, “yeah so weird! Those things can’t even be trained not to bite! HA!”.
Danny rolling his eyes as he looks up at the sky, “oh they’re easily trainable”, and chuckling to himself a little.
-
It’s a simple ten-minute flight before he’s got himself perched on his ankles on Todd’s bedroom windowsill. Apparently the guy keeps his bed right next to the window… which is street-facing. Fuck that’s stupid and reckless. How has he never gotten rudely awakened by Phantom him or some other ghost getting throw into/threw this wall. Fucking Ancients, mild death wish much. But hey, it gives Danny the opportunity to be a creepy little bastard gremlin. Aka, Danny absolutely leans ominously down over Todd before speaking, “looks like sleeping beauty’s been naughty”. Todd, like Danny wanted, gets jolted awake, yelps, shuffles backwards, smacks his head on his headboard, and just stares at Danny in shock. Danny snickers meanly, “trying to establish tyrannical rule, tsk tsk tsk, can’t have that now can we”.
Todd gulps and musters up some -clearly fake- bravado, “what the Hell man”.
“Not from Hell but I’m sure Satan would be touched that you think I’m his handy work. Real compliment right there”.
Danny hops off the windowsill, over Todd/his bed, and lands in the guy's room; cloak fluttering in the air faintly all the while, he was technically doing his job right now after all. “So as I was saying, trying to make a merciless authoritative ruler out of your blobby is not part of the final and is honestly quite objectionable”.
“You broke into my room”.
“And you sleep right next to a street-facing window, so clearly I’m not the one making stupid life decisions here, buddy”, turning around and smirking at his fellow teen, “you’re practically begging for a break and enter, be glad it’s just your quirky teacher taking you up on that offer”. Granted he was also basically the most powerful ghost around town, but hey right now he was just teacher. Shrugging, “granted breaking in here isn’t apparently all that entertaining, considering all you’ve done so far is wake up and stare at me from your bed like a brain-dead monkey”.
Todd jerks and glares at him, “aww am I boring you. Get out of my room”.
Danny shrugs again, “ah naw, I’m good right where I am”. Snapping his fingers and sending out a bit of his energy to call over the little blob ghost that Todd’s SUPPOSED TO JUST BE TAKING CARE OF BUT IS INSTEAD GROOMING INTO A WAR MONGER. The blob ghost of course listens and immediately zips over and rolls around under Danny’s raised palm. Danny turns his attention to the little guy, speaking like one does to a small child or kitten who’s being misled by a miscreant, “now you listen here little one, don’t let this jackass fill your head with silly little thoughts of blob world domination”, staring at It meaningfully, “Phantom’s the more peace-seeking type”. The blob actually shudders slightly over the prospect of being rejected by Phantom.
Todd screws up his face and mutters disbelievingly when the blob turns to him and hisses. Danny smirking at the teen, “have fun taking care of them now”, and throws a very cheeky peace sign before strutting smugly over to the window and dropping out it down to the sidewalk.
Danny’s not even slightly surprised to get a bunch of empty energy cans thrown out the window at him along with a very loud, “FUCK YOU”… and a slightly shrieked, “YOU BIT ME!”. Hahahahaha have fun with that Todd, serves him right.
---
Todd had glared at him angrily and was more of a nuisance than usual for multiple days, not that Danny gave a shit. He also ‘reported’ Danny as a ‘peeping Tom’ to Lancer which did result in a ‘conversation’ with the man but Danny’s counter of outing Todd as attempting to turn the general blob community in harbingers of war -which fine was a major exaggeration but whatever- resulted in Lancer sighing exhaustedly and basically throwing out the report. One of these days Danny’s going to run out of ways to make Lancer slightly regret ever offering him a job but that day has yet to come.
Danny smacks a hand on the whiteboard a couple of times, “alrighty alrighty alrighty, test results time!”, turning around and smirking at the class, “you get that s̛h͜i̕͟t͠ now since no one has to waste time grading a bunch of stupid paper scanner thingies and then rechecking them for fu̕͝c͟k̛͜ ̧u͝p̸̨s”, and smacks the board again. Though pausing at the cracking sound and snapping his head around to the board. There’s a decent-sized crack/dent in it, making Danny grin like an idiot, throw his hands up, and cheer, “YES! FINALLY!”. He has cracked the board! It has happened! Turning back to the class, actually tearing up a little and wiping his eyes, “I’m truly overjoyed. Blessed really”.
James blinking and muttering, “is he crying?”. Dash snorting, “ha loser”. Val actually turning around to the jock while Danny holds up a pink slip, “do you never learn?”.
“I’m collecting them at this point”.
Val blinks at that, “now you sound like Danny”. Dash looks genuinely offended and like he’s seconds away from starting a brawl right then and there, “you take that back!”.
“Make me!”.
Danny just laughs and waves a hand dismissively, “now now children, no fighting”. Earning him eye-rolls and scowls, Val laughs though so it’s a win in his books. Summoning out his staff and pointing it rather aggressively at the class, only Ashley jumps so clearly they’ve gotten too used to his shit by now, “now present to me your blob pets for grading!”.
Everyone dutifully pulls out their jarred blob ghosts and places them on their desks. Maple sticking up a hand, “do we have to release them or?”.
Danny chuckles, “you can keep ‘em if you wanna, wouldn’t exactly recommend it but hey Charles’s -that he so rudely stole from me- is doing cool so”, shrugging, making his staffs bell jingle. Danny pushing his energy into his staff making the feathers multiply and extend out to ‘assess’ the blobs. It was fucking weird that his staff could basically do anything so long as it had to do with his ‘role’ as Wisdom Guardian.
Jesse shakes his head at his blob attempting to nibble the feathers, “I’m just going to pretend this makes sense. This class is almost weirder than the ghosts are”. Danny simply smirks at that.
Danny nodding to himself after a bit, feathers retracting, gesturing the staff over the board making the results magically appear. Danny nodding smugly at his handy work/his students' results, fists on his hips, “Ancients the G.I.W. would hate me so much”.
“You say that as if you don’t already”.
Danny ignores that, turning around grinning and gesturing grandly at the board, “behold! Crack or no, your results!”. Walking to his desk and flopping down into his chair, “of course no one failed”, leaning back and feigning being utterly desolate, “oh how disgraceful that would be. To think my pupils would even consider bringing such shame upon me, after everything I have bestowed upon them”.
Val gets up and slams a cup of coffee on his desk, “will you stop being overdramatic now?”. Danny snagging it up eagerly, “oh why thank you”, gesturing dramatically, “my beloved emergency caffeine maid, how I thank yo-”, Val promptly cuts him off by punching his head into his desk.
“Call me ‘Maid’ again and I’ll make you a ghost”.
Danny just grumbles incoherently into his desk while the class goes about looking at the results.
“Oh Hell yeah! Guess who’s average is going up!”.
“Honestly I thought I did worse. Wow”.
“The bastard seriously docked me marks. Jerk”.
“You deserved it, Todd”.
“I’m honestly actually kinda proud of this. Doesn’t feel as meaningless as tests usually do”.
“High five bro!”.
“Heck yeah bro!”.
“That’s enough ‘bro’ing. Fuck”.
“Shove it, pipsqueak”.
“Is it sad that I care more about this result than my math results?”.
“Now if only uni gave a shit about this class…”.
Danny lifts his head up off his desk and rests his chin in a palm, “good for all of you”, sipping his coffee, “granted I’d got all happy go lucky if I ever got decent grades”. Val actually gives him a slightly sympathetic look at that, even if she says, “well maybe if you didn’t skip constantly”. Danny just takes another sip of his drink before standing up, “so who wants to do a blob release party in the field? Like releasing balloons into the sky”.
Maple practically skips back to her desk and actually hugs the jar her blobs in, “not mine”. Danny waves her off, “that’s perfectly fine”, standing up, swinging the staff behind his head to rest on his neck/shoulder. Wandering over to the window and just falling out of it, “see you out there!”.
James blinks, “we’re… not following him, are we”.
Valerie shrugs, “yup”, and basically jumps out of it.
“There’s a lot wrong with the two of them”.
“That’s nothing new”.
“I’m taking the stairs, this is ridiculous”.
“Well it is Danny for you”.
“I love this class”.
-
Danny just grins at everyone with their jars, nodding at them all before pointing his staff up at the sky for no real reason other than dramatics, more than a few classrooms have teens staring out at them while everyone -well almost everyone anyway, a small handful opting out- opening their jars and letting out the random blobs.
Some of the blobs just start zipping around or floating off, a couple nuzzle their particular caretakers, one or two just straight up stay and take naps on the grass. It was all kinda cute actually.
Amber crouching down on her ankles petting one of the grass sleeping blobs, “yeah I guess we kind of put you guys through the wringer, huh”. Danny chuckling, “oh yeah, for the most part, blobs do perfectly well living on their own in the wild-”.
Half the class basically speaks in unison and in time with him, “so long as there’s enough ectoplasm around”, followed by, “we know”.
Danny pouts at everyone, “well at least y’all remembered”. He has been successful at this teaching thing. Hurray. Good for him. Guess for now he’ll just enjoy the view of the healthy blob ghosts running around. Todd’s is apparently still somewhat ticked at him, taking the time to naw on his pants before fucking off. Hopefully, that one doesn’t cause problems in the future.
---
“So how was it? I saw that everyone passed”.
“Surprisingly enjoyable”.
“Really now”.
Sigh. “Fine I’ll admit it, you were right about this being a good option for me”.
“Good. So you’re up for doing this again next semester I take it”.
“At this point? No shit. Though I think my folks are going to interrogate me about my ‘usual’ and ‘forbidden’ and ‘impossible’ and ‘can’t possibly be true’ knowledge at this point, all things considered”.
Slight chuckle. “Good, it might do them some good. Their bigotry only seems to grow more concerning”.
“Heh, nice to hear it called bigotry honestly”.
“You’d be the one to say that”.
“Yeah, I guess so”.
“You know you’ve got one more thing to do now though”.
“Oh yeah? What?”.
“Get Christmas gifts from your students”.
“FUCK”.
“We also have a staff holiday party”.
“…oh I hate you so much”.
Chapter 7: Probably Utterly Unnecessary Overly Wordy Self-Imposed And Unintentional Obligatory Closing Chapter (But Christmas-Themed) Because I Knee-Jerk Hate Christmas And Will Take Any Given Opportunity To Take A Piss On The Season So In The Words Of Danny Fenton ‘Dude, I Am *Sick* Of Christmas!’… ‘I Know! (Puts Down Walker’s Arm And Grabs The Orange) How ‘Bout *This*!’
🎵All I want for Christmas is my two front teeth🎵
🎵My two front teeth🎵
🎵See my two front teeth🎵
🎵Gee, if I could only have my two front teeth🎵
🎵Then I could wish you, "Merry Christmas"🎵
…
….
…..
🎵What a bright time, it’s the right time🎵
🎵To rock the night away🎵
🎵Jingle bell time is a swell time🎵
🎵To go gliding in a one-horse sleigh 🎵
Danny’s grumbling almost aggressively and marching to class looking like he actively wanted to murder someone… slowly and violently. Repeatedly. Scowling up at the ceiling, nearly snarling at the speakers, “swell time my ass”, before basically kicking in his classroom door. Was he wearing an anti-Christmas sweater? Yes. Only because apparently teachers were ‘highly encouraged’ to show ‘holiday spirit’ with their clothing. Fuck Christmas. Fuck Christmas cheer. Goddamnit. His shirt said ‘sleigher’ -because Danny will pun regardless of how shitty or not his mood may be. And currently, it was quite shitty indeed- with a murdered reindeer. A graphically murdered reindeer. He’s pretty sure no teacher has tried to dress code him because of the fear of throat punching based off his facial expression.
Anyway…. door kicking. Ancients he wishes the stupid thing wasn’t built fucking solid o that his goddamn foot would have just smashed a nice little hole in the bottom. But hey, at least the door bangs against the wall hard enough to shake and bounce back enough that he has to kick it again to get it out of his way. And fine maybe he has to do that repeatedly. And sure maybe he just gets more violent about it. And okay he absolutely broke one of the hinges. Whatever. Fuck that door.
Valerie just sighs and shakes her head, well aware of Danny’s hatred for Christmas and well used to him turning into an angry chihuahua this time of year. Dash also rolls his eyes, even if he’s slightly intimidated. The rest of the class just looks on concerned as Danny walks over to the whiteboard, him smacking it hard enough to make the cracking spread, “alright so the next fucker who asks if I’m going to decorate this room will get stabbed and I will use your blood as the decoration to make this place look like Satan’s personal spa retreat, including something demonic-looking getting summoned into the corner to stare at you all menacingly”, glaring at a couple of people in particular, “and the next person to give me a bag of feathers as a present is spending the holidays with Boxy in a warehouse. Got it. Good. Anyways, since we don’t need no stinking stupid-ass review periods because we’re already done with that shit, what the fuck do ya wanna talk about and preferably loud enough to block out the crappy Christmas music”.
Todd blinks, “what crawled up your ass and died”. Danny snapping at him immediately, “my will to live in this god-forsaken time of year”.
🎵Who doesn’t love to sing We Wish You A Merry Christmas?🎵
Danny’s rye twitches, him half shouting towards the ajar door, “I fucking don’t!”.
🎵Good tidings we bring🎵
🎵To you and your kin🎵
🎵Good tidings for Christmas🎵
“Take those ‘tidings’ and shove them up your ass!”.
🎵And a happy New Year!🎵
Scowling and looking at the class, “y’all better start talking or I’m going to get in trouble for vandalism and destruction of school property”. Now that gets the class chuckling at him a little, making him roll his eyes somewhat fondly.
James shakes his head, “so I take it you don’t exactly like Christmas”. Valerie turning to him, “understatement. Danny hates Christmas more than the Box Ghost hates circles”.
“Well damn, that’s actually impressive”.
Danny sighs and glares at the ceiling, “and I actually hate it less than I used to”. That gets him some disbelieving staring. Whatever. Yes his hatred might be excessive but he’s a ghost goddamnit, excess is the name of the game; fuck off.
Amber purses her lips, “soooo… you don’t want presents then. Or any more anyway”. Danny sighs, “it’s fine. But make them Christmas-themed at your own peril”. The class absolutely laughs at him, not that he gives a shit. So long as no one gives him Christmas socks they can laugh all they want.
(Does basically everyone eventually give him something? Yes. Was it mostly ghost-themed/related? Also yes. Did at least one person be a complete jackass and give him something Christmas-themed? Definitely; but no one else did after he dumped ectoplasm-infused eggnog on that particular teen's head)
“Ignoring Danny’s hate boner, I vote we talk about Phantom”.
Dash grinning, “well duh!”.
Danny chuckles and shakes his head a little, “I swear this town has a mass obsession or something”, shrugging, “eh what the heck why not”. Val rolls her eyes which makes him smirk, even if his mood’s still shit. He pretty much just lets everyone chat amongst themselves; him flopping down in his chair and pretty much zoning out.
By the time class is coming to an end Danny’s got his feet up on the whiteboard ledge, Danny glancing at the clock, “whelp this has been fun”, lifting his feet off and spinning his chair around to face everyone, “guess this whole teaching thing was, like, an actually good idea. Dealing with you people wasn't terribly horrible”. He’s amazed the whole Phantom thing never got caught.
“Yeah fuck you too, teach”.
Danny grins and finger guns. Emilie getting up and tilting the door to get it open graces his ears with more fucking Christmas music though.
🎵Let’s sing Merry Christmas and a happy holiday🎵
🎵This season may we never forget the love we have for *bell sounds*🎵
Danny snags his quill and flicks it at the speakers, shorting it out and making it smoke worryingly. Then blinking, “wait did they censor ‘jesus’? Haha nice”, smirking a little, that was probably Sam’s handiwork. Whelp anything that defaces a Christmas song is a plus in his book. Val shakes her head at him, “you going to wreck the other door hinge?”. Danny just gives her a thumbs up, gets up, and kicks the bottom hinge hard enough to bust it apart; the door falling with a thump to the ground. Danny nods, satisfied, to himself with crossed arms. Val rolls her eyes at him and gives him a friendly shove on the shoulder. Normally that would boost his mood entirely but his ghostly ears means he’s still able to hear the stupid fucking music from the other intact speakers.
Fuck this time of year.
(Though fine some of the presents he wound up getting were actually pretty neat. The ectoplasm lava lamp even impressed his folks, even if they were none too pleased about the ‘team ghost’ flag).
---
By the time the staff holiday party rolled around Danny had warned Lancer that if there was Christmas music playing the whole time or -Ancients help him- carollers, then he was going to invite Technus. Needless to say, said party did not have Christmas music.
Lancer shaking his head at Danny, “you can be quite intimidating when you want”. Danny just scowls at him, “you have never seen me legit piss off, Lance”. Even Danny knew angry Danny was a scary -and dangerous- Danny. The man simply chuckles, handing off a cup of punch to Danny. Who mutters down at it, “I could totally spike this with ectoplasm”.
“Don’t even think about it, Daniel. As it is we already had to put a cage over the noodles you brought for the pot luck”.
Danny snickers and side-eyes the writhing noddles with teeth gnawing on the bars. Unsurprisingly he was the only one willing to eat them. Frankly… they were delicious. “I like my food thank you very much”, and nods smugly. He can practically feel Millie glaring at him from across the room; she’s not exactly alone in said glaring. Not that Danny actually gives a shit.
Remi grins at him mischievously, practically slapping a reindeer headband on his head, “at least you made things more interesting, Mr. Grinch”. Danny scowls and subtly sets the antlers on fire. A couple teachers jerk away from him, but Charles laughs loudly, “you’re on fire!”. Danny smirks, “and? I happen to think it’s very friendly fire”. Remi giggles at him while Xander dumps some of the punch on Danny’s head. Rude. Understandable, but still rude.
“Whelp. Now my hair’s wet”.
“And that’s not better than being on fire?”.
Danny grins and nods smugly, “nope”.
Things go on for a while and there’s even a few shitty party games and a little dance thing which honestly just makes Danny think he’s going to die from mortification. What is it with full-blown adults and bad/embarrassing dancing? And pin the nose on the snowman? What the fuck, man. A certain purple cloaked figure distracts him from wincing over Mainers attempt at what appears to be some kind of shuffle? Eh whatever.
Danny grins at the blonde-haired man, honestly it still surprises him sometimes that his Guardian had a human form… well illusion would be more accurate. Not that that should really be surprising, considering their strength. “ClockWork”.
“Daniel”.
Lancer -who has apparently wandered back over for more punch- chokes a little, eyeballing the currently human-looking ghost. Right, he’s pretty sure he explained his Guardian to Lancer; possibly more than once actually. Lancer eyeballing Danny, “… Daniel”, with more than a little worry and warning in his voice.
Danny waves the man off, “it’s fine. ClockWork’s the last one you’d have to worry about”.
The ‘blonde’ nods, cloak moving slightly in a nonexistent wind, “indeed. Not that any would claim me harmless”.
“Nope, just legless”. ClockWork cuffs Danny one over the head for that. Danny pouting and rubbing his head, feigning injury. “Meanie”. ClockWork gives him an almost invisible fond smile.
Lancer blinks a bit harshly, “well… this is still for teachers”. Danny smirks, “and they ‘teach’ me. So there”.
ClockWork shakes their head, “I’m not here to partake, rather to remind someone that he has places to be”. Danny pouts at that, speaking incredibly sarcastically, “but I’m just hAvInG sO mUcH fUn. CaN’t YoU sEe?”, putting a hand to his chest dramatically, “BuT oH hOw NiCe Of My ClOaK bUdDy To CoMe FeTcH mE. oH hOw GrAtEfUl I aM”. ClockWork actually glares at him for that.
“Someone will come to fetch you”.
“Oh I know. But this party is just begging to be crashed”.
Lancer sighs, “for the love of Shakespeare, Daniel”. Putting on some obviously fake bravado and glaring at the ghost, “and where are you trying to take him”.
Danny sighs and sags a little, “Ancients fuck, Lance. Ghosts just so happen to have truce parties and maybe some of them get a little aggressive about me going to one”. More than a few of the other teachers are eyeballing Danny at this point.
Joshep glaring, “of course the ghosts actually like him”.
“Honestly isn’t he a little biased to be teaching about ghosts then?”.
Danny rolls his eyes, muttering, “having someone who dislikes ghosts would be what’s biased. Geez, been over this much”. Lancer claps Danny on the shoulder, avoiding ClockWork though, “for what it’s worth I agree with you, and my opinion just so happens to matter more”. Danny does smile over that, but eh, it’s probably a good idea that he skedaddles at this point.
Danny shrugs at Lancer before turning to ClockWork, “alright, cloak buddy, I’m sure Johnny’s already challenged someone to an unfair race and I’d rather a place get trashed after I’m there than before. But first…”, Danny turns around to grab up one of the Christmas oranges and lobs it through the ajar doorway. Resulting in the now more familiar than he’d like sound of Ghost Writers voice in the form of a shriek.
Lancer grimaces a little as Danny heads to the door, a few people watching awkwardly/cautiously, “I still don’t approve of you tormenting a poet with fruit”. That just makes Danny grin meanly at Lancer, then at the Ghost Writer who’s around the door and glaring at him.
Millie shouts after him, “you could at least dispose of the abomination that you call ‘food’!”. Danny shouting back, “naw! Why would I deny everyone the joy of such yummy friendly food!”, then snickering meanly to himself. Both ClockWork and Ghost Writer shake their heads at him, though ClockWork looks a lot more fond… and amused.
-
So what’s the first thing that greets Danny when he actually gets to Dora’s kingdom -which is apparently the place hosting, for his particular group anyway, this year- why it’s Skulker with a slice of pie in hand of course. Always was, probably always would be. Danny shaking his head fondly at the robotic ghost, “so what’s the flavour this year, my determined little poacher”.
“Berry and fish”.
Danny stares at him a little, “… okay yeah fuck you”, but takes the pie anyway. Like always it’s freaking delicious, but come on? Seriously? Berry and fish? Ghosts are weird, man. Not that he isn’t totally here for said weird.
It takes not even five minutes for Dora to practically skip up to him, putting a dainty hand on his shoulder lightly, “you look well, nest-mate mine”.
“You as well, Aurora”. Danny liked his nicknames, including for ghosties he actually liked. Danny smirking, putting a hand to his chest as she takes a step back, “in fact, I’m wonderfully well off. Got a group of teens to entertain most days, then there’s the Guardian thing I’ve got going for me, oh and all these fuckers-”, jabbing a thumb towards the random crowd of ghosts, “-actually somewhat respect my human job”.
Ember scowls and snarks, “messing with a Guardian’s duties is just asking for trouble”.
“And you don’t actively want trouble? Huh, guess I misread you”. Ember flips Danny off for that. Dora, however, giggles lightly, hand over her mouth, “trouble-seeking as she maybe, there is a difference”.
Danny rolls his eyes, waving her off, “yeah yeah yeah, I know. Still fun to poke fun at everyone though”, and sticks his tongue out in Ember’s general direction; she throws a guitar pick at him, though she does look a little amused at least.
That was the nice thing about ghosts, they liked picking fights and poking fun at each other… and they liked others doing that back to them. Unlike humans, who usually got pissed off if you snapped back at them regardless of if they snapped at you first *cough cough* Dash *cough cough*.
Dora hums and nods to herself, “well you enjoy the party and may the truce for you be bless-ed, nest-mate”.
“May it be bless-ed for you as well, nest-mate”.
Dora was a nice sorta sister to have, and considering the Queen/mother fucking DRAGON thing he didn’t really have to worry about anyone picking fights with his little -even though she’s legit older than him- sister.
YoungBlood zips over and whisper laughs into Danny’s ear, “you should totally go bug that nasty Aragon about your boring adult stuff”, snicker, “he so doesn’t know”.
Danny grins wickedly, “oh Hell yeah”.
The kid -that Danny’s pretty sure he can only still see because he was absolutely still immature and because of the right to the High Throne thing- laughs and gets overexcited, “can I come! Can I come! Can I come! I’ll bring grapes”.
“Does everyone just know that I throw grapes at that bastard”.
“Yup!”.
“Fuck you, yes you can come”, smirking at the child ghost, “but make sure they’re extra squishy”. YoungBlood giving him a goofy thumbs-up before getting distracted by the sweets table.
Kitty giggles from the side at him, “here I thought teachers weren’t supposed to swear around children”.
“I resent that”, putting a hand to his chest, “why I in fact taught them to”, sticking up a finger, “in ghost speak specifically”. They had totally been taking advantage of that to get away with swearing in their other classes. Which Danny one hundred percent supports wholeheartedly. Kitty laughs at that and Danny’s going to take a guess that Johnny’s off hitting on some other girls here. Kitty speaking up again, “you know…. The flowers are kind of cute”, and giggles, leaning over to fiddle with one of the ghost pipes. Well that feels like proof to him.
Unsurprisingly Johnny comes out of nowhere, scowling at him then smirking attractively at Kitty, “come on babe, whatcha doing with him”.
She just huffs at him; Danny taking the opportunity to subtly slink away from the pair while they go about having one of their typical lovers quarrels. Danny damn near crashes into Desiree in the process through.
She scowls at him a little before shaking her head, “and that is why I absolutely do not ‘want a man’”. Danny chuckling awkwardly, “ah come on now, some of us are at least fun to mess with”. That gets a smirk out of the genie ghost, “true. Still not worth the trouble”. Danny just chooses to shrug before wandering off to the little appetiser table, Desiree’s tolerance for him was minimal at best… especially because he was a guy.
-
Danny barely gets to spend ten minutes demolishing the appetiser table before Walker is there being a pick and shoving a present at his chest unnecessarily hard. Danny letting out a little oof followed by a not so eloquent, “jerk”, in the prison wardens general direction.
The skull-faced ghost scowls at him, “I hope you are teaching those delinquents the law”. Danny rolling his eyes so hard it almost hurt, “of course, Whitey. I might be lazy and have a complete disregard for law but when I have responsibilities I actually tend to do them”, shrugging, “with the occasional shortcut”, smirking meanly at the ghost, “besides, the best ways to break the law require knowing it”, and winks. If it wasn’t the truce Danny is a-hundred-percent positive Walker would assault him right now.
Walker sneering, “you’re lucky it’s the truce, punk”, and stalking off feels like proof in Danny’s books.
Walker taking the initiative with the present giving basically results in everyone else following suit. Which of course means Danny gets pelted by boxes, which the exception of the occasional one that’s actually handed to him. They were all combative motherfuckers alright? Danny laughing probably doesn’t discourage it though.
Like always most would prove to be useless or even slightly insulting. Not that the gifts he chucks back won’t be equally offensive/pointless. He’s pretty sure his gift for Boxy is literally just a shit ton of marbles with square shapes inside them to really bug the guy. ClockWorks was a little touching though, being a gear cog accessory for his staff, and fine maybe Danny also gave ClockWork staff accessories. Like minds think in kind. Too bad FrostBite and Pandora have their own kingdoms truce celebrations to see to. Eh, he’ll visit them at some point. Besides, they all took turns hosting his group's truce celebrations. Technically he could go to those parties too but Danny’s not putting himself through three to six ‘Christmas’/‘Yule’/truce parties every year. He’s not a fucking masochist, regardless of what anyone might say.
Eventually, everyone gets all well and done with their present-based assault of each other. Dora nodding to herself and raising her chalice, “to a blessed and successful-”, everyone glancing judgingly at the Ghost Writer, “-truce!”. Danny, and more than a few others, chuckling at the Ghost Writers expense before sipping their prospective drinks. Was Danny’s the most disgusting horrid-looking concoction he could come up with based on what ingredients he had at his disposal? Abso-fucking-lutely. He even stuck in an orange wedge for the fuck of it. The smell was truly atrocious and the mild glaring that causes only makes Danny feel all the more smug. Drinking what’s effectively consumable battery acid with a devilish smirk as the party begins to draw to an end.
-
And boom bada boom, another year's festivities over. Guess the class shit’s over for another year too, so a nice little two-for-one ending there. Nice. Now to do it all over again in, like, a month. Well okay, a year for the truce crap. Oh whatever. Class starts again in January…
Eh at least Lancer had the decency to put Danny’s ecto-ology class in the afternoon again. Hopefully, that will never change. Though the fact that Danny still managed to show up late would probably cement that afternoon time slot. Ancients Danny might not show up at all out of spite if the man scheduled it any sooner. Lancer probably knew that too, the man had proven he understood waaaaaaay more than Danny ever thought/knew.
At least no one was treating him different due to the Guardian/teacher thing. Much anyways. Goes to show that Danny could probably change into infinitely stranger things and people would probably still go ‘eh that’s just Danny for you’. No one, ghost nor human, should have expected he’d become a freaking teacher (except ClockWork anyway… and the stupid fucking Observants) and yet everything went more or less fine.
But still, fuck Christmas.
And fuck the Observants for good measure.
What the heck, fuck the educational system too.
Throw in a ‘fuck his half-life’ for bonus points and to complete the nonexistent list of things to flip off before he goes to bed.
End.
#Danny Phantom#phandom#invisobang#danny#sam#tucker#dash#valerie#mr. lancer#technus#skulker#kitty#johnny#box ghost#clockwork#observants#teacher! danny#danny's a little shit#danny fenton the teacher#danny gets a job#your teachers dead shenanigins#fan fic#phan phic#my writing#have a fic suck my dick#phantomphangphucker#slight religous mocking#invisobang 2021
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MC’s Half Demon and They Look Awfully Familiar Part 4
(The side characters strike again!)
Part 1 Part 2 Lessons 1-5 Part 2.5 Group Retreat Lessons 10-12 Part 3
L!MC= Lucifer’s kid | M!MC= Mammon’s kid | A!MC=Asmo’s kid
Let’s get right to it!
The Uncle That Hardcore Simps For His Spouse In the Most Wholesome Way (Diavolo)
Gasp! More half-demon kids? Oh my! Maybe if he tried again next year a kid of his own would pop down! Hang on- he hadn’t slept with a human in almost a century... dang. No kids for him...
...maybe...
Remember when I said Diavolo would try to do those stereotypical dad (tm) things and be hip with the kids? Yeah he keeps doing that.
The number of broken windows related to wayward baseballs goes up 150%. At least that’s how they all figured out that M!MC is nearsighted like their dad!
M!MC had developed a bit of a habit of telling Diavolo about cool human stuff and making the Crown Prince even more interested in the human world than normal.
You may be thinking “what’s so bad about that?” well, the number of yo-yos at RAD went up so high that Lucifer had to ban them.
Belphie and Satan, being the rebels they are, became yo-yo masters specifically to spite Lucifer.
It was sort of like the fidget spinners craze if you were in school for that.
Oh, hi Lord Diavolo. What’s a fidget spinner? It’s this- I should stop talking...
Since no one learned their lesson from the previous incident, Diavolo threw another BBQ.
“Why are we doing this again?” L!MC asked to no one in particular.
“Don’t worry, L!MC. I’ve taken every precaution possible to make sure that what happened last time doesn’t happen again.” Diavolo said and continued in his crusade to cover the entire pathway with sidewalk chalk doodles.
L!MC, Luke, Diavolo, M!MC, Belphie, and A!MC were all busily drawing a wide variety of doodles and drawings with chalk while the other guests milled around nearby. A!MC was in the middle of drawing quite the nice looking Cerberus chibi, while M!MC and Belphie were drawing a lot of stick figures. L!MC and Luke had just finished a wonderful drawing of... an alpaca? Giraffe? Thing...? Hell, even they didn’t know what it was.
Diavolo looked over at M!MC’s stick figure army with a big smile on his face. “So what are all of them doing? It looks like that one’s flying!”
You could practically hear the Addam’s Family theme play as M!MC and Belphie looked at each other and grinned.
“Oh Belphie was just talking about L!MC’s flying lesson fails and I felt that an artist’s rendition was needed.” M!MC explained, he began to point out certain doodles. “Here’s L!MC getting up off the ground, then there’s them actually flying, and this is them falling in the fountain.”
L!MC looked over at the chalk and glared at M!MC. “It’s generous to call that an artist’s rendition. It looks like crap.”
“And what did you draw?” Belphie smirked at the alpaca-giraffe-thing, Luke protectively covered up the drawing (side note, Luke was wearing white and playing with sidewalk chalk, by the end of the day he looked like a walking pride flag).
“None of your business!” Luke huffed.
“And what about that one?” Diavolo seemed completely oblivious to the hostility brewing between the two groups, A!MC was completely used to this and walked away to grab a drink.
“Ah, good eye, Lord Diavolo!” M!MC chirped. “This is a drawing of the time L!MC almost burned down your kitchen.”
Diavolo laughed and gave M!MC a few pats on the head. “Very accurate!”
“You’re so lucky I followed the rules and didn’t bring a water gun...” L!MC growled as they slowly reached for their backpack.
“Yeah... lucky. Real lucky...” M!MC nodded as they tried to casually reach for their bag, Belphie followed suit.
“I’m so glad we all followed the rules.” Luke smiled, his own hand inching towards his bag.
There was a brief moment of stillness before the four of them whipped out their water guns and pointed them at each other.
“This BBQ ain’t big enough for the both of us!” M!MC’s terrible cowboy impression aside, their gun was poised to shoot directly at Luke and L!MC’s alpaca-giraffe-thing.
“Everyone, I know this is a human world tradition but-”
Belphie silenced Diavolo by pointing his water gun at him. “Sh, don’t talk unless you have a water gun as well.”
Deciding not to smite Belphie for treason, Diavolo pulled his own water gun out of his shirt. “Okay, what now?”
“Now, we’re in a standoff...” L!MC glowered at M!MC, the air was practically crackling with hostility...
Until a burst of flames got everyone to whirl around to see A!MC with hairspray and a lighter.
“No water guns! I refuse to go home shivering and covered in grass again!”
Crisis averted. Everyone went to go fail at throwing beanbags into a hole instead of shooting each other.
That was probably for the best... Belphie filled everyone’s water guns with paint.
The Uncle That Does All the Cooking for Family Dinners (Barbatos)
Remember how I said that Barbs liked smol Lucifer? Yea, he likes smol Asmo too. Smol Asmo is willing to admit that they don’t know how to use an oven and is willing to learn.
M!MC is formally banned from being within 50 feet of the kitchen. It’s for the best.
A!MC often tries to get Barbatos to look into the possible futures so they can see if they can avoid messing anything up and A!MC is just so adorable that Barbatos actually thinks about it.
He still says no every single time.
“Could you at least tell me if I have the possibility of doing something embarrassing in the near future?”
“My apologies, A!MC, but no.”
“P-please?”
“The answer remains the same.”
A!MC sighed and went back to helping chop vegetables. Under Barbatos’ tutelage, A!MC’s cooking ability had increased tenfold, they could now make as many burgers as they wanted without worrying about burning down the kitchen.
Pitying the anxious half-demon, Barbatos sighed. “I cannot confirm nor deny a future where your outfit gets ruined.”
A!MC perked up. “H-huh?”
“I cannot confirm nor deny a future where your outfit gets ruined.”
Quickly understanding what Barbatos was trying to do, A!MC quickly nodded and spent the rest of the cooking time carefully taking note of their surroundings.
“Hey! What’re you guys doin’?” M!MC had managed to get in... damn! Everyone must have been putting their best efforts in keeping Solomon away from the kitchen and forgot about M!MC...
“We’re just finishing up, M!MC,” Barbatos had on his ‘oh no...’ smile. “We don’t need any help.”
“Really? You guys sure?”
“Why are you so interested?” A!MC asked.
“Lucifer said that idle hands are the devil’s playthings and that I should go look for something productive to do.” M!MC huffed. “Very ironic phrase.”
“F-fine, I guess you can...” A!MC searched for the least destructive task they could give. “Take the utensils and set the table.”
M!MC gave them a mock salute and grabbed the utensils, as they turned to leave, they knocked a large bowl of chopped fruit over, sending the fruit pieces flying.
Remembering Barbatos’ prediction, A!MC didn’t bother to try and stop the fruit from falling, they only grabbed the nearest big plate they could find and shielded their outfit from harm. The fruit splattered harmlessly against the shield.
“Whoops... my bad. You alright, A!MC?” M!MC asked as A!MC inspected their outfit.
“Y-yes actually...” A!MC turned to Barbatos, who was already getting the cleaning supplies.
“Thank you!” A!MC whispered.
Barbatos smiled and nodded. “You’re very welcome, A!MC.”
Barbatos now has two sorta-children. A!MC and Luke!
M!MC means well, I swear! He just shouldn’t be allowed in a cooking environment!
The Cousin That Your Mom Points at and Goes “Look at Him, He Helps With the Dishes, Be More Like Him.” (Simeon)
Oh man... time for some more embarrassing stories.
“Asmo was the most adorable child, it’s a shame he was such a troublemaker...”
“Really? My dad?”
“What about mine?”
“I think you can guess.”
I cannot comment on Simeon’s help with flying lessons because I refuse to Headcanon what Simeon’s wings look like until canon gives us a GLIMMER. LIKE SERIOUSLY SOLMARE IM CURIOUS-
I have a feeling the children were quite curious as well.
“What do you think his wings look like?” M!MC asked A!MC as the two peered around the corner of one of the hallways in Purgatory Hall.
“I bet they’re super nice. But besides that...” A!MC leaned over and squinted. “Why is Simeon writing with a pen and pencil? He’s writing a book... shouldn’t he use a computer?”
“Bold of you to assume he knows how to use a computer.” M!MC snickered.
A!MC frowned. “Don’t be mean... I’m sure he knows how...”
Simeon picked up his DDD and took a picture of his face, seemingly by accident, with the flash on, causing him to drop the phone in surprise.
“Probably...”
The two surveyed their angel friend like two wildlife documenters, here we see, the Simeon, not in his natural habitat, surrounded by confusing technology...
“Do you think if we scare him his wings might pop out in surprise?” M!MC wondered aloud, A!MC shrugged.
“Maybe... but I don’t think we should bother him...” A!MC whispered. “He looks busy.”
“What are you two doing?”
It took literally every bit of willpower for the two half demons to not scream in absolute terror at the sudden interruption.
Ah... it was just Solomon... in an apron... Solomon... in cooking clothes...
Oh no.
“Spying on Simeon?” Solomon asked.
“N-no...” A!MC giggled nervously. “Just crouching casually in this hallway...”
“...smooth, A!MC.” M!MC rolled their eyes.
“Well, it’s great that you two are here, I made lunch!”
A!MC and M!MC looked at each other in pure horror, they needed to get out of there!
“Uh- um... we’d love to but...” M!MC looked around frantically before just pointing at a random spot behind Solomon. “LOOK! A DISTRACTION!”
A!MC and M!MC ran out of there as fast as their legs could carry them. Finding out if Simeon had wings was not worth being poisoned. Not at all...
Good ol’ Simeon... Mr. Cristopher Peugeot on the other hand- M!MC had some questions for him.
“TSL is literally the most popular book series ever, does that mean you’re completely loaded?”
“Oh, no I’m not, I don’t have any use for human world money in the Celestial Realm. All the profits go to charity.”
“...Dude really?”
“That’s nice of you, Simeon!”
“You didn’t keep any of it..?”
Wait... Who the Hell Are You..? (Solomon)
So A!MC basically has three dads; Fabulous-dad, butler-dad, and wizard-dad!
“So you just... have capes lying around?”
“Yes, would you like a cape?”
“Okay if they don’t take the cape I want it.”
Solomon shows up to RAD with his nails painted different wacky styles every week, courtesy of A!MC.
Though- the unholy combination that is M!MC and Solomon is feared by all.
“Road work ahead?”
“Uh, yeah I sure hope it does.”
Solomon and M!MC’s rampant quoting of vines elicited another glare from Lucifer.
Despite Solomon having literally been alive since the seven rulers of hell were angels, he had kept up with pop culture fairly decently. Decently enough that M!MC had someone that wasn’t Levi to bounce memes off.
“Pff...” M!MC suppressed a laugh at a seemingly normal water bottle advertisement. “Enslaved moisture.”
“I’m not going crazy, right Simeon? You’re hearing this too?” Lucifer tiredly turned to the angel, who shook his head.
“This is just the tip of the iceberg. Solomon quacked at M!MC earlier and they lost their minds laughing about it.” Simeon shrugged, unbothered by the sorcerer and the half demon’s rampant meme-ing behind them.
Lucifer on the other hand, was quite bothered. Incredibly bothered, if you will. “If you two don’t shut up right now I’m going to-”
“Quick! We must abscond!” Solomon turned and heelied away, followed by M!MC. The shoes that Mammon bought to replace the ones lost during the casino incident were apparently heelies as well...
The day was saved when a rock jammed one of Solomon’s wheels and he slammed face first into the concrete. Yikes... that had to hurt.
A!MC had fun glow in the dark bandaids for Solomon to patch up his face. Even though he he could heal himself with magic, he let A!MC do what they wanted because they were just too adorable to say no to.
Asmo has pictures
The Cousin Squad (tm)
(Luke, L!MC, A!MC, and M!MC)
Ah yes, the bab squad. The most adorable group in the Devildom. Surrender your candy immediately or face destruction.
M!MC teases the crap out of Luke, and A!MC tries to stop it, but L!MC is the one who manages to actually make M!MC stop.
Only L!MC gets to pick on the smol angel. GOT IT?!
A!MC and Luke are already baking buddies because of butler-dad so they get along swimmingly.
Poor Luke’s the victim of many of M!MC’s shenanigans.
Luke: Are you sure this is safe, M!MC?
M!MC (about to put mentos into the bottle of coke Luke is holding): No.
L!MC and A!MC get along really well, being honest, everyone loves A!MC.
A!MC makes sure L!MC gets some sleep because they don’t want their cousin picking up on Lucifer’s habit of living off of coffee and coffee alone. L!MC doesn’t get it but they’re very grateful anyway.
M!MC and A!MC were friends from the start. Well... M!MC decided they were friends right from the start and A!MC did not have the ability to fight the power of friendship.
M!MC: You are being befriended. Please do not resist.
Since M!MC is great and amazing like their pop, they took it upon themselves to be the friend that speaks up when A!MC is too nervous to do so.
M!MC and L!MC? Lucifer and Mammon 2 electric boogaloo. Sorta.
L!MC and M!MC bicker all the time but the babs bounce back from their fights way easier.
One minute they’re at each other’s throats and the next they’re showing each other memes.
“There’s no escaping this.”
Lucifer stood between M!MC and the door... their one way ticket to freedom...
“You need to go to the dentist.”
The entire HOL plus the Purgatory Hall crew were getting ready to go visit the dentist to get their teeth cleaned. It was the time of the year that Mammon dreaded most... and his child felt the same way.
“My teeth are fine! Lemme stay home! I’ll hold down the fort with dad!” M!MC smiled and nodded as enthusiastically as they could, but even the most unobservant person couldn’t miss the sweat beading on their forehead.
“Beel.” Lucifer snapped his fingers and before M!MC could do anything Beel had thrown them over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes.
“Don’t worry M!MC, the dentist isn’t that scary.” Beel tried to assure them. By the way M!MC was still kicking and screaming, they were not convinced.
“Y-yeah kiddo, suck it up! Don’t be a baby! I’m just gonna take my car there-”
“MAAAAAAMOOOON?!”
“YIKES!”
Lucifer had the important task of keeping a hold of Mammon as the very large group made their way to the dentist’s office.
A devious little idea popped into L!MC’s head as they all sat down in the waiting room. They began to hum a familiar little tune.
“She said be a deeeentiiiist~ a dentist!” L!MC sang to M!MC, who’s attempts to escape increased tenfold after hearing the song.
A!MC began to hum along, not seeming to notice the commotion going on next to them.
“Son be a deeentiiiiiist~ people will pay you for causing them PAIN! She said be a deeentiiiiiist~”
Belphie perked up and smiled deviously as he realized what L!MC was doing, he began to sing along as well. The three were a veritable choir of terror to poor M!MC. Mammon did not understand his child’s terror and was more unnerved by what a great team Belphie and L!MC made.
Satan rolled his eyes and tried to focus on his book, Asmo was absorbed in his magazine, Levi was having a very in depth conversation with the fish in the aquarium, Simeon and Solomon chatted about school, and Luke was stuck watching the train wreck go down.
Thankfully, it was halted by Lucifer. “L!MC, A!MC, Belphegor, stop tormenting M!MC with show tunes.”
“You would have made a good dentist in another life, Lucifer,” Belphie cooed. “You know what they say, the only difference between a dentist and a sadist is that one has newer magazines.”
Asmo grimaced at his magazine. “Is it the sadist? Because I’m reading a magazine from 1843...”
The conversation was interrupted by one of the dental hygienists coming into the waiting room and saying that Mammon was up first. The Avatar of Greed’s final escape attempt was foiled by Satan (not even looking up from his book) clotheslining him.
Thirty minutes later, Mammon emerged from the forbidden dentist room, with the look of trauma in his eyes and eating a lollipop.
One by one, the group went in, A!MC took it upon themselves to try and make the rapidly panicking Luke feel better.
“It won’t be too scary, in the human world dentists are usually very nice.” A!MC smiled encouragingly.
“I-I’m sure that’s true but...” Luke looked around. “We aren’t in the human world...”
Asmo skipped back in and flashed a blinding grin to the group. “Absolutely perfect, no flaws! It’s your turn, A!MC!”
“If you die I get to say I told ya so!” M!MC shouted as A!MC walked into the dentist’s room.
They did not in fact, die because of the dentist. A!MC walked out and gave a thumbs up. “The dentist said they had never seen a kid with such perfect teeth.”
“That’s my baby!” Asmo chirped.
“M!MC, you’re up.” A!MC and Beel had to practically drag the poor kid out of the room and into the dentist area of doom.
“GO BE A DEEEEEENTIIIIIIST!” Belphie and L!MC shouted one last time as the doors shut. Wow, what dickheads...
Mammon probably would have tried to save his poor little bugger, but he was in the middle an impromptu therapy session with Simeon over the scary scraping dentist knife thingie.
Beel was the last to go, and he walked out of the dentist’s room with his face covered in blood, the dentist walked out after him, missing a hand.
“You tasted like toothpaste.” Beel sighed. “Not good.”
“Don’t worry,” The dentist said to Luke, who looked like he was about to pass out. “My hand will grow back in about four to five minutes.”
Luke, still terrified, nodded. L!MC patted him on the shoulder.
“Anyway, almost all of you are fine, but I have to recommend M!MC to the orthodontist.” The dentist flipped through their notepad one-handed. “Their secondary set of fangs are coming out crooked and need to be corrected with braces immediately.”
M!MC sat calmly for a moment, then attempted to sprint out the door. “NO NO NO NO NO!” One of the dental hygienists grabbed them by the back of their shirt and halted their escape.
“Sucks to be you.” L!MC smirked.
“And L!MC needs to fix their cross bite, braces are a strong possibility.”
The colour drained from L!MC’s face as the news dawned upon them. “Pardon, but what exactly are you talking about..?”
“Your top jaw and bottom jaw aren’t properly lined up.” The dentist explained. “It will lead to problems later if it’s not fixed now.”
Lucifer rubbed his temples and sighed. “L!MC, if you try and run away I swear...”
L!MC stiffened and shook their head. “I’m not some coward, I’m not running away. Just... what exactly are you going to do to my mouth?”
The dentist pulled up a few pictures of the braces and explained what would be done. L!MC nodded, and turned to their father with a big smile on their face.
“It won’t be so bad, mind if I go to the bathroom before I get the mold for my teeth made?”
Lucifer nodded and almost audibly sighed in relief. He basked in the glory of having a child that wasn’t afraid of the dentist and faced their fears like an adult-
L!MC sprinted past the dentist’s office, they had busted out of the bathroom window.
“...Beel.”
“Yep.”
A few minutes later, Beel returned with a completely irate L!MC who was screaming their demands to be put down and be allowed to run for the hills. Taking advantage of the distraction, M!MC ran for the door again, only for Belphie to tap them on the forehead.
M!MC collapsed into a snoring heap on the floor.
“FATHER! DON’T MAKE ME DO THIS!” L!MC practically screamed as they tried to wrestle themselves out of Beel’s bear hug.
Lucifer rolled his eyes. “L!MC, calm yourself down. It’s just braces.”
“AS EVERYONE HERE AS MY WITNESSES I’LL NEVER FORGIVE YOU FOR THIS! NEVER!”
The half-demons in need of braces were dragged right back into the dentist’s area... poor fools.
“They’ll be okay... right?” Luke asked.
“Of course they will be. It’s just braces.” Simeon patted Luke on the head. “They’ll both be fine.”
The scream that came from down the hall right after Simeon said that did not reassure anyone.
“Hey,” Mammon piped up. “How much do braces cost?”
“From what I know about dental procedures,” Satan rubbed his chin. “A few thousand Grimm.”
“Mammon if you try and run for that door I will cut your credit card into a thousand pieces.” Lucifer growled.
Overall, it was a fairly average trip to the dentist. 0/10 would not recommend. A few weeks later L!MC and M!MC were fitted with their mouth prisons- I mean braces, and the two cousins bonded over their horrific mouth pain...
Seriously- braces suck.
——————————————
So! Those are the headcanons! Four and a half whole parts... phew... To all the people who enjoyed this series, thank you so so much for reading! You guys have been so super nice!
Fret not, I plan on writing more for this universe! From what I know about season 2 of Obey Me things will get... interesting. Stay tuned for more! Or don’t, I can’t force you.
...or can I?
#Obey me#Obey me!#Obey me Headcanons#obey me shall we date#obey me! headcanons#obey me! shall we date?#Obey me Lucifer#Obey me Diavolo#Obey me Simeon#Obey me Solomon#Obey me Mammon#Obey me MC#obey me beelzebub#obey me belphegor#Obey me Luke#Obey me Barbatos#Obey me Asmodeus#Obey me Fic#Lucifer’s Kid
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Ace
Request: Can I get a one shot for the episode 52 pickup with Spencer x female reader? Like with the scene specifically where Spencer is trying to hand out the flyers but none of the woman take one, but reader approaches him to take one along with his number or something? Whatever else your mind can come up with please.
A/N: Thanks for the prompt, @just-call-me-non! Very specific episode request! I had to take an hour out of my day to rewatch this episode to accurately get the storyline across. Hopefully it does your idea justice! (Also, I know this was posted a day late, but I was relaxing all Friday i didn’t forget about your request i swear)
Couple: Spencer Reid/Fem!Reader
Category: Fluff
Content warning: None
Word count: 1.3k
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Another Saturday night out with your girls should have been a blast. Unfortunately, it was packed with embarrassingly entitled socialites and toxic masculinity. The music also wasn’t helping because the DJ couldn’t pick a good song if his life depended on it. If you wanted to listen to EDM house music, you would have just stayed home and played a YouTube playlist full of them.
Due to your boredom, your eyes started to wander around the club as you and your friends were huddled in a corner trying to make the best of the night. Your eyes had landed on something quite interesting though. Or you should say, someone.
A tall brunet with flyers in his hands was talking to a group of women who couldn’t care less about what he was telling them. They looked as if he was speaking a frightfully terrible language by the way their faces twisted. You, however, were intrigued by the sight you were watching and wanted to get a better view.
“I’ll be back,” you told your friends.
“Where are you going?” One asked.
“I think I’ve found something of interest,” you said.
They all followed your gaze to the lanky, awkward guy you were staring at. The women had walked away from him, so he was left with no choice but to desperately try to convince someone to hear him out. They all looked back at you with questionable stares.
“He looks cute, but he seems like one of those awkward, stiff types. How did he catch your attention again?” Another friend asked.
“Thought I should help him out. I wanna see what he’s handing out,” you explained.
You took the last sip of your cosmo before placing it down on the table. You fluffed up your hair a bit and brushed down any wrinkles in your dress. Your friends watched you in amusement as you prepped yourself to go over to him.
“Get him, tiger,” another said followed by a meow.
You laughed at their sarcasm before walking over to him. He had no idea you were walking towards him as he flailed around a single flyer in his hand trying to convince someone to take it. Since he had about 30 more of where that came from you decided to help him out. You grabbed the one he was flailing around from out of his hands to look at it. He turned around to look at you, surprised someone had actually taken it from him. You looked at him with a smile and held up the picture.
“Who’s this?” You asked him.
“Uh, it’s um, this guy we’re-and when I mean we’re I mean my team and I-uh,” he stuttered.
You giggled at him stumbling over his words as he struggled to comprehend why you were giving him the time of day. You looked at the picture as he finally told you about some sort of murderer on the loose. It was a very vague sketch, so you looked at him with a quizzical expression.
“How do you ever expect to find this guy with a picture like this?” You asked.
He awkwardly chuckled. He held up the stack of flyers in his hands so you could see them clearly. He put his hand in front of the scar which was sketched above the man’s left eyebrow. You raised your eyebrows curiosity.
“Well, the funny thing is some witnesses say he had a scar right here,” he lifted his hand up to reveal the scar.
You stared intently at the scar on the drawing. Then he lowered his hand down to cover it again. What happened next made you widen your eyes with amazement.
“And some say he doesn’t,” he said as he lowered his hand down to reveal an image with no scar.
You stupidly grinned at his trick. Your ear-to-ear grin made him smile as he lowered the flyers. You grabbed his hand with the flyers and placed it back up so you could see it again. There was really no scar there anymore.
“How did you even do that?” You asked.
“Pure magic,” he said.
“Okay, magician, what’s your name?” You asked.
“Spencer Reid. I-uh-work for the FBI, so that’s why I’m-”
“Yeah, I heard your reason why you were here the first time. Along with you saying some sort of statistic about men being more likely to kill targeted victims over women who are more likely to kill related victims.”
He looked at you stunned. It seemed as if he was shocked you were listening to him ramble. You may have been looking at the sketch of the person he was looking for, but you couldn’t help but to invest in what he was saying.
“You were actually listening?” He asked.
You nodded. “I’m a sucker for true crime. That’s not to say I want to be murdered in real life, but it’s cool that you do this for a living. You know, saving lives and catching the bad guy.”
A genuine, non-awkward smile appeared on his face. “Yeah, I do something like that.”
“And what do you do when you’re not kicking ass and taking names?” You asked.
He chuckled. “I think kicking ass is more up my colleague’s ally, but I personally don’t do anything interesting. Well, interesting to most people.”
“Surprise me.”
“I like to master different chess moves in my spare time and read. I like reading pretty much anything and everything. Twice.”
“That sounds interesting to me. Maybe one day you can teach me that trick and how to play a mean game of chess.”
Spencer looked at you astonished at the way you kept engaging with him. You were starting to think girls like you or even girls in general never took an interest in his quirky behaviour. To you it was enticing.
“Um, thank you. I’m sorry, I didn’t even get your name,” he said.
You smirked. “How about you give me your number and you can figure it out then. Maybe even discuss each other’s favourite books if you’d like.”
He nodded his head with a tiny smile that slowly appeared on his face. You couldn’t stop looking at him as he did the smallest gestures. He was more attractive than you initially thought from across the club. Every mannerism he did intrigued you more about his character.
“I’d like that,” he said.
“Great. What’s your number?” You asked.
He smirked. “It’s near your heart.”
You looked at him funny as he gave you that riddle. You placed your hands in your dress near your left breast. You felt something at the side of your bra. You took it out to see the ace of hearts.
It was nice meeting you, Y/N.
His number followed right after. You were floored. Not only did he figure out your name, but he also gave you his number in the suavest way possible. He didn’t even have to touch your breasts to do it. That was some respectful magic.
“Now you’re telekinetic too?” You asked.
He shrugged. “Can’t say. Maybe if you call I’ll give you a hint.”
“Can you guess when I’m going to call too?”
“That wouldn’t be guessing, but profiling. I have a feeling I’ll be hearing from you in the next two hours.”
“I’ll make sure I don’t keep you waiting.”
He chuckled. “Bye, Y/N. It was really nice talking to you.”
With that he walked into the crowd where he was met by a tall, muscular black man. He put his arm around Spencer and gave him an impressed smile. You giggled as you watched the scene before they fully disappeared into the crowd. You looked back at the ace of hearts and couldn’t stop smiling. Maybe you were starting to have a new thing for quirky magicians.
—–
MASTERLIST
#spencer reid#dr. spencer reid#dr.spencer reid#Spencerreid#Criminal Minds#criminalminds#criminal minds imagine#Criminal Minds Fanfiction#mgg#Matthew Gray Gubler#matthew gray gubler request#spencer reid request#spencer reid imagine#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid x y/n#spencer reid x you#spencer reid fluff#matthew gray gubler fluff#mgg fluff#gubler-me-up
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Work for it
Part II: Promotion
pairing: coworker! johnny x reader
other members as background characters: haechan as johnny’s assistant
genre: smut
warnings: explicit smut, semi-public sex, spit in mouth, pussy slapping, throatpie (omg I got so embarrassed writing this down)
word count: 5,792
summary: “One of your co-workers, the supervisor of the Sales Department John Suh, is arguably the hottest man you’ve seen in your life. You try to act on your crush but he is just plain oblivious to your efforts, but you won’t stop until your fantasies come true”
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Work for you was living hell and no, it wasn’t for the normal reasons. You had a nice job as an intern in the Financial Department of a company, and with your hard work getting recognized, you were looking forward to being offered a permanent position soon.
Today was no different. You had made sure all your files were organized, calls made and deadlines in check. All you had left to do was look over a report in the office of none other but the man who was causing your suffering. Mr. Suh.
Mr. Suh, or Johnny as he insisted on being called, was the supervisor of the Sales Department but he didn’t let it get to his head. He was extremely friendly, willing to help his subordinates and brought a smile to everyone’s face. Working with him would be amazing if there wasn’t one little problem. He was the sexiest man you had ever seen.
Now, now, you weren’t some middle schooler. You came into this company committed to get the position you deserve, not beg for some man’s dick. But when he first welcomed you in the main elevator, tall height, hair pushed back and with a face of godly facial structure, you almost pressed the stop button so he could take you right then and there.
You brought some files along and ascended the stairs that lead you to his office on the top floor. It would be more convenient if Mr. Suh sent the report downstairs with his assistant and your best work buddy, Donghyuck, but you insisted on paying him a visit, saying something about how a little work out never hurt anyone.
When you saw Donghyuck at his desk, he didn’t even look up from his laptop, pointing at the door instead.
“Put your panties back on. He’s on the printing room”
You rolled your eyes at his comment, used to his teasing about your crush on mr. Suh and headed out for said room at the end of the hall. Johnny was hunched over a machine, shaking it from side to side.
You knocked lightly on the already open door to announce your presence, and he turned around, flashing you his killer smile.
“y/n, hello! I was just trying to get you a copy of the report, but the damn printer seems to be broken again.”
You tried to tell him that it’s okay, that you can use the printer from your floor downstairs, but then he bent over trying to locate the cause of the malfunction, giving you a perfect view of his ass in his fitted tracksuit. Rutting the machine around, he thrusted his hips forward, letting out the occasional grunt, and you took a mental picture for later. He must have shaken something a bit too hard, because ink started to spill out of the cartilage.
“Aww, it’s dripping everywhere”
He had the sleeves of his shirt rolled up, and you couldn’t help but stare at how veiny and strong his arms looked as he pushed down. Your mind wandered off, imagining how nice it must feel to have him on top of you, applying this kind of pressure with his pretty hands around your neck as he-
“y/n? Are you ok?”
“Uh-um yes! Sorry Mr. Suh, it’s been a hard day”
It’s been your cute ass that made it hard for me to function around you was what you actually meant. He winked your way, and you were almost sure he did a double take on a skirt you wore that he had complimented before.
See, it’s not like you never thought of making a move on Johnny. You knew he was single, and he even told Donghyuck that he thought you were cute. Romantic relations between coworkers was not a rare thing, but the way everyone around here respected him made you nervous to approach him. No matter how many people fell for his charming personality and his visuals, he was never part of the company’s gossips and you knew the reason. The guy was denser than a brick wall.
You tried testing the waters with him, taking the light flirting a bit further, but he never seemed to catch the point. Maybe he was so used to getting this kind of attention that he dismissed your attempts as just friendly banter.
But you weren’t ready to give up.
“Sometimes I like coming here to relax. This place is usually so nice and quiet. It gives you privacy to do so many things”
What you said must have piqued his interest, since he gave up on the printer and turned his attention to you instead.
“Things, that the company wouldn’t approve of doing in here?”, he said in a lower voice than before and your throat felt dry when you answered him.
“Yeah. It’s just, we wouldn’t get caught in here, you know?”
“Oh, I know exactly what you mean”
He took two steps towards you before lowering down to whisper closer to you.
“I actually know a place that has even more privacy than this room. I usually go there alone, but it will be so much more fun with you”
Droplets of sweat had collected on his temples as a result of his physical activity earlier, making his words sound so much more enticing. He looked around, checking if anyone was standing in the hallway, before whispering again.
“This will be our little secret, ok?”
You swallowed hard and nodded, ready to get your world rocked by John Suh. He reached for something in his back pocket, but instead of a condom, he whipped out something you’d never expect.
A pack of cigarettes.
“I told everyone I’d quit but the stress gets too much sometimes, you know? I didn’t remember you smoke, though”
Oh my god. Oh my god, you were so stupid. All this time you thought you coaxed him into a steamy, clothes-on, ass on the printer quickie and he meant sneaking you out for a guilt-drenched cigarette break??!!
“Right! You didn’t remember that I smoke because.. because I don’t! ...Anymore. I mean, I quit, just like you. And you know what Mr. Suh, we shouldn’t succumb to the needs of the flesh! Fight back to our bad habits and get healthier! Together!”
He was frozen in place, dumbfounded by your sudden anti-smoking monologue.
“Wow y/n I didn’t know you were so serious about this. Very impressed by your spirit though.” He patted you on the back before picking up the report from the printer and getting to the door. “I’ll tell Donghyuck to print this for you and deliver it to your desk. Won’t take too long, alright?”
And just like that, he managed to leave you in the printing room alone, horny, and one report down.
——————————————————
The next morning at the office was as typical as any other, with the difference that it was raining cats and dogs. The low that was centered over the area caused continuous storms, the rain and moody atmosphere making it impossible for you to keep your eyes open.
You headed over to the kitchen to make a cup of coffee, already the second one of the day, when you saw a very familiar someone occupying the coffee machine.
“Mind if you make me a cup too Mr. Suh? I hear you make the best coffee in the office”
He chuckled at you, instantly recognizing your voice.
“It’s my pride. I do love coffee” After turning on the machine he looked at you finally, a serious look on his face. “Listen, y/n, about yesterday, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have tried to drag you down with me like that. You were right about the cigarette thing. I’ll quit for good”
You blinked at him, trying to grasp the ridiculousness of the situation and feeling a bit sorry for guilting him like that.
“It’s ok Mr. Suh don’t worry about it. No big deal”
“Oh and, please, call me Johnny. You make me feel a thousand years old. I’m not that much older than you.”
“Yes Mr.- Johnny”
Just at that moment, a lightning struck, making you jump in place. You glanced at the window, or rather the stormy mess outside, and sighed.
“Chose the wrong day to forget my umbrella huh?”
“You want me to drop you off?”, he offered, immediately making you panic.
“No no! It’s okay. The metro station is really close. It’s fine if I get a little wet anyways, I won’t melt, I’m not made of sugar”
You cringed a bit at your nerve-induced blurting, but it would all be gone in a second.
“You’re sweet like sugar though”
He poured the now brewed coffee on both your cups and you just stared at his movements in shock. Did he just? Initiate the flirting? And called you sweet?
Ok, this is it, you thought.
“Do you like sugar?”, you asked him seductively, making your arms touch. You had to take advantage of this opportunity. The ride home suddenly didn’t sound like such a bad idea.
“Oh no thanks I drink my coffee black”
Looking at the clock on the wall he picked up his cup and took a sip, striding out of the kitchen and leaving you speechless, much like yesterday.
“I’m late for a meeting. See you later, y/n”
You groaned as you watched him walk away, pouring an excessive amount of sugar in your drink.
“That’s not what I meant...”
———————————————————
Meetings usually meant making sure you had enough battery on your phone to silently play your favorite game, while you heard some old guy in a suit blabber on and on about the most boring topic on earth. Usually you’d be complaining about why they just had to take away valuable time of your day to talk about an issue that could very easily be briefed in a mass email, but not today. Because today, the man of honor who got to do all the talking, was Johnny.
To anyone else, you looked like the most eager intern in the company, taking in every single word that came out his mouth. In reality, you were just immensely turned on by his fluent English, his new suit, and his ability to capture everyone’s attention. You had no idea what he was talking about, but you could listen to him talk all day about how “Results are important” and “Taking a more aggressive strategy is vital”.
A sudden noise made everyone turn to the exit door, only to see that it was just the cleaning lady that had dropped her bucket as she was going down the stairs. You felt Donghyuck, who was sitting next to you as always, nudge you with his knee.
“Oh look, she brought a mop for your drool, how nice of her”
“I’m not drooling”, you whispered back with a glare, shoving him with your elbow.
“Right”, he chuckled, “you’re ready to get on your knees for him right now”
It was really hard to get the picture that Donghyuck had painted out for you off your head for the rest of the meeting. You pathetically rubbed your thighs together to get the slightest feeling of relief, and tried to mute out Johnny’s sexy voice with no avail. When the meeting was finally over, you walked out of the meeting room along with everyone else, when you saw Johnny catch up with you.
“Hey y/n”
“Hi Johnny! Nice presentation up there”
He beamed up at your compliment and you wanted to coo at him for looking so cute. His aura changed a color when he replied to you, turning solemn.
“Thank you. Glad to see you’ve finally dropped the formalities with me”. I can drop my panties too if you want, you thought to yourself, but you only smiled at him when he managed to leave you speechless once again. “Is it wet?”
Wet? Fuck, was Donghyuck right? Were you really so caught up on eating Johnny up with your eyes that he noticed? That he realized you were so turned on by him? He saw your confused expression and tried to futilely explain.
“Is it wet? Down there?”
You were losing it. Was he really asking you that in front of all your coworkers? Your face couldn’t possibly get any hotter, feeling as if you were burning up with a high fever. You realized you hadn’t said a word back.
“E-excuse me?”
“Wasn’t the cleaning lady going downstairs earlier to mop? I figured you’d know if the floor was still wet. Since your office is on the bottom floor”
Get your mind out of the gutter, y/n. Quick, say something already! Stop staring at him like a lost puppy!
“Uhh no I don’t know actually. I’m sorry, I have to go”
You turned swiftly on your heel to walk away from him, and save yourself from any further embarrassment.
If Donghyuck was here to witness this, you’d never get to hear the end of his teasing.
———————————————————
You didn’t expect an email like that from the Sales Department. You were at your desk, minding your business when you got the notification, almost choking on the gum you were chewing on.
y/n,
I have something very confidential to show you in my office. I think you’ll be very pleasantly surprised. Bring your sexy ass over here at 16:00 sharp.
Johnny Suh
You must have re-read those 30 words about a thousand times to ensure you weren’t making things up. You freshened up your makeup, thanking the gods of sex that you decided to wear cute underwear this morning. All the things you were daydreaming about since your first meetup at the main elevator, were finally about to happen. Fidgeting around in your seat, you felt yourself getting wetter thinking of all the nasty things Mr. Suh was planning on doing to you in his office.
It was 16:25 when you walked up the stairs, not brave enough to make a man like Johnny wait. All his assistants were gone, probably send off somewhere to avoid having them hear your little unprofessional tête-à-tête.
You walked into his office, the door slightly open. He was sat on his chair, the back turned to you and you started to feel nervous. You didn’t notice he had changed his hair. And wasn’t he wearing a different suit this morning?
“Um Johnny? You asked to see me?”
He tsked at you, turning around.
“16:28? I thought you had more of a backbone than that, y/n. Also thought you’d come in here naked. Disappointing.”
The smug smile, the teasing voice. Donghyuck.
“The email was fake wasn’t it?”
“Luckily for you, yes, I was the one who sent it. I mean, seriously. This ugly brown suit for a dick appointment with Mr. Suh?”
When you graduated university with honors, you didn’t think you’d one day be charged with the murder of a company’s assistant. But right at his moment, as you grabbed the stapler from the desk and walked over to him ominously, you thought it was all worth it.
“Lee Donghyuck, after I’m done with you the only dick appointment you’ll make is with the ER doctor, to get these staples off your balls”
He got up, panicking, and started to back away from you.
“Somebody save me, please, mom!”
You were ready to grab him by his tie and fulfill your threat, when you heard someone clear his throat at the door. And this time it was the real Mr. Suh.
He had his arms crossed, a smile appearing on his face as you shoved your friend away and immediately dropped the stapler from your hold.
“You know, you two are always wasting time over here, messing around. Maybe I should punish you”
Oh god yes, please do.
It was Donghyuck’s deadpan expression that made you realize that you had actually said that out loud. Johnny raised his eyebrows incredulously.
“Oh, so you want the overtime?”
“S-sure why not? Not like I have anything better to do on a Friday night”
Your friend rubbed his palm over his face, cringing at the situation you got yourself in.
“Please, stop talking, I beg of you”, he murmured, when Johnny spoke up again.
“Well in that case, will you leave me and y/n alone to discuss some details?”
Donghyuck nodded, closing the door behind him and it seemed like he took all the oxygen along with him.
Johnny sat on his desk, whipping out some files for you. It might sound stupid, but the email, though fake, had put you in a certain mood, and having him sit so close to you wasn’t helping your situation.
“I will only give you the run down but please ask the supervisor in your department to explain further”
You tried listening to him talk about your overtime, you really did. But the way he was sitting on his armchair with his legs spread out, was practically begging you to do what Donghyuck had suggested yesterday and get on your knees already. You’d tell him to continue his work, challenge him to try and keep typing on his laptop as you’d palm him through his slacks. You’d wait for him to get a bit impatient, licking him over his clothed cock until it felt like it would rip from the fabric. He was definitely big, and you wondered whether you could take him. You’d put him in your hand and start sucking on the tip, then lick your way down to his base. Maybe he would have to take a call, and you would make it a goal to distract him by fitting him all inside your mouth, hitting the back of your throat. His little office slut.
“y/n. Get under the desk. Right now.”
His voice brought you out of your daydream but his words triggered another one. It felt like the world around you was shaking. Did he just ask you to get on your knees under the table? Could he read your thoughts? “y/n can’t you feel the earthquake? Get under the desk”
When you realized what was happening, you wished that the earth would just swallow you whole already, taking away the embarrassment with you.
Donghyuck met you outside. He had evacuated the building along with everyone else, happy that the small earthquake got them an extra five minutes of break.
“Did Mr. Suh pick you up in his strong arms like your knight in shining armor and save you?”
“Don’t talk to me I’m still mad at you”
He turned you around to face him, his lips pouting at you cutely and it was really hard to resist his doe eyes.
“I’m sowwyy I was just trying to help you out!”
“Help me out with what?”, you sighed, tuckered out, “he clearly doesn’t want anything more with me”
“Oh yeah? Is that why he hasn’t stopped checking out your ass ever since you left the building with him?”
You turn your head to Johnny’s direction, just in time to see his eyes shift from you and Hyuck to the floor. Maybe your friend was right. Did Johnny actually like you after all but was really just that oblivious to your crush?
“All I’m saying is”, he continues, “that you need to be clearer with him. He is the supervisor of another department than yours, he obviously won’t act out anything unless you give him the green light”
You nodded at him, a feeling of determination coursing through you. His words reverberated in your head until break time, planning out your seduction. You knew that there was no way you would be able to concentrate at work unless you gave it a shot with Johnny, even if it goes terribly wrong. Tomorrow, you promised yourself.
——————————————————
And tomorrow did come, finding you right outside his office door. Taking long, confident strides, you walk past Donghyuck who for once, was speechless, eyes widening at your appearance.
Johnny’s favorite skirt hug your hips, garters barely peeking under it. Your shirt was a bit tighter than usual, an extra button undone, revealing your cleavage. The room was filled with the clicking sound of your high heels, that were as uncomfortable as they were sexy. It was barely considered work appropriate but you didn’t care. You hoped you’d manage to at least grab his attention, then let your talking do the rest.
Taking a deep breath, you knock at the door, slowly opening it. Johnny was typing away something, looking delicious as always. Your voice was way more sensual than you’d usually let it be in the workplace.
“Johnnyy~, good morning. I’m here for that file I need?”
He had his eyes still glued on the laptop in front of him, his tone as bright as ever.
“y/n! I would send Donghyuck over you didn’t have to- “
He finally looks at you, his eyes quickly moving from your chest to your skirt, only to stay for a bit longer on your legs. He seemed a bit taken aback, his breath hitching in his throat but he shakes his head lightly, regaining his stature.
“-you didn’t have to come all the way up here”
“I know”, you mewl, picking up a pen from his desk and clicking it closed, letting the tip rest on your bottom lip, “I just missed you”
You saw him stare at your mouth before he cleared his throat, coolly sitting back on his chair.
“I think you’ll take this back when you stay for your overtime tonight”, he laughed, too friendly for your liking.
“No, no. I would never get tired of you, Johnny. Besides, I have a great stamina”
“That’s good! Being mentally strong is very important in this business”
Ugh, take a hint already!
“Well, yeah, but physical strength is important too. You know, I’ve followed your footsteps and started working out. I can go on for hours”
His eyebrows lifted up at your statement, “Yeah? And you followed my footsteps?”
“Well, everyone in the office has noticed you’ve been hitting the gym lately, especially me. Maybe, you could show me some of your workout exercises later?”
He stayed silent for a moment, like he was contemplating his answer and you swore you saw the faintest blush on his cheeks. His answer, however, would disappoint you.
“I was thinking of organizing an online group aerobics class, actually. I think Yuta from my department might be interested in hosting it”
The feeling of defeat was written all over your face. You were done. Smiling politely, you told him it sounded like a nice idea and asked for the file. You felt so angry at yourself for listening to Hyuck’s advice, every painful jab your heels gave your feet seeming deserving.
Donghyuck saw you leaving the room and would follow you to comfort you but he fully understood your frustration. Since you left the door open, he had witnessed everything, and boy was he furious.
He barged into Johnny’s office unannounced, scowling at him. Boss or not, he had to give him a piece of his mind.
“Are you seriously that blind?”
Johnny blinked at him, surprised at his unexpected appearance.
“Excuse me?”
“Are you seriously telling me you didn’t get that y/n was flirting with you?”
“R-right now?”
Donghyuck licked his cheek with his tongue, getting gradually more and more frustrated. “Yes! Right now! The hottest woman in the office was basically throwing herself all over you and you didn’t even ask her out?”
Johnny was shocked, fumbling for an answer, “I thought- I thought she was just being nice”
“Nice??”, the younger man screeched then took a deep breath to calm down, placing both his hands on his boss’s desk.
“With all due respect dude, but either you fuck her, or I will”
———————————————————
Nothing could make the horrible feeling you felt from your embarrassing incident earlier worse right? Wrong. Because it was Friday and you still had to go through with that overtime you had stupidly agreed with.
All your coworkers from your floor were gone, no one crazy enough to willingly work on a Friday night. You saw them all leave one by one, internally cursing them for their luck. The office was especially hot tonight and you were suddenly glad for choosing that skimpy outfit to wear today, even if it didn’t fulfill its original purpose.
In your deep concentration over the files scattered on your desk, you almost didn’t notice the shadow next to your office’s door. You could recognize these broad shoulders from miles away.
“Johnny, you didn’t go home yet?”
“I’ll leave soon, just wanted to give you some tips your supervisor noted for the work you’ll do tonight”
He smiled warmly at you, but his eyes held something you hadn’t seen before. Slyness, mischief maybe? You didn’t have much time to think about it anyways, because in a moment he was standing over you, next to your desk.
“You see, the loss of this week’s sales…”, he started, lifting the sleeves of his shirt up and revealing his veiny arms that you so adored, “...it’s much bigger than you think”
You gulped, your throat suddenly dry. His voice was deep, seductive, eyes staring right into yours.
“Y-Yeah?”
“Yes. Doing all this paperwork, it’s very… hard. And it’s so hot in here, right?”
He kept his gaze on you, loosening the tie he wore around his neck. Was this your mind playing games with you again? You weren’t sure but he looked so good you couldn’t help your body from responding to him.
You got up from your seat, resting the side of your ass on the desk to be closer to his height. “If I got it right, you suggest that maybe you need to stay around for a bit? Help me out?”
He nodded, coming closer to you. You couldn’t stop gawking at the way his chest filled up his shirt so nicely, not caring if you were being obvious anymore. He was standing almost between your legs, and you could feel his breath fanning your face.
“It’s going to be tiring, but if you follow my orders you’ll get to finish. Think you can take it?”
Was it his suggestive words or his plump lips that made you feel so lightheaded? Either way, you wanted to dive in, to finally taste him. But you just had to ask.
“Johnny?”
“That’s my name”
“We aren’t talking about finance, are we?”
He stepped even closer, situating himself between your thighs that you gladly opened for him.
“Fuck no”
The way your hands grabbed him by the neck and pulled him into a kiss, was almost animalistic. Johnny kissed you back with almighty force, open mouthed and breathing heavily. With the dominance that characterized him and a bite on your bottom lip, he pulls you up on your feet by the ID that was hanging from your neck. He tasted like smoke and mint gum.
“I thought you’d quit smoking?”
You felt his right hand grab your throat and he broke the kiss, forcing you to look at him. It wasn’t the pressure to your air flow but his eyes that had you on edge. The usual golden flecks adorning his orbs were hidden behind his dilated pupils. “I’m just a man. There are some things I can’t resist”. He dipped his tongue into your mouth, making you feel like you’re in a fever dream with the way all your fantasies were coming to life. “Open up”, he growled against your lips and you obey like you promised to. He spit in your mouth, in a manner so dirty it had your knees shaking.
You started unbuttoning his shirt, wanting to see more of him. Starting with running your hands over his raging heartbeat, you continue down his abs and end up fumbling with his belt. Johnny helped you, springing out his cock and, damn, he may be half hard but that was the biggest dick you’d ever seen in your life.
He chuckles at your widened eyes but instead of making some cocky remark like you expected he leans down, leaving soothing kisses on your jaw. “Don’t worry, I’ll take care of you”. He continued his kisses to your neck, all the while unbuttoning your shirt. Leaving it on you, he pulls your boobs over your bra and starts playing with your nipples. The tingling on your breasts was tightly linked it the one on your heat and you decided you needed more.
You took his fingers from your chest and placed them between your folds. Johnny cursed out with how wet you were for him, and started rubbing circles over your clit, occasionally dipping the tips in your entrance. He kept at it, relishing in your moans and he would have ripped his tight little skirt off of you if you were in his bedroom. The build up sexual tension along with the semi-public setting made you close to losing yourself in him. You just needed a push, and Johnny was more than happy to give it to you.
“You’re gonna cum for me. That’s what you wanted wasn’t it? Why you got all dressed up like that?”
“Yes, for you, fuck Johnny”
“Come on, let it all out. Cum so I can fuck the hell out of this tight pussy of yours”
You came all over his fingers, grabbing his arms for support. He gave you a moment, wiping the tears off the corners of your eyes while kissed you slowly. When you started kissing him back with a refuelled passion, signalling that you were ready for what he had to offer, he was back, rougher than ever.
He petted your pussy, collecting your wetness and spreading it all over your folds. You jumped up when you felt him slap over your clit, the lines between pain and pleasure from the overstimulation blurry.
You knew Johnny was strong, but the easiness with which he lifted you from the desk onto your armchair shocked you. Spreading your knees as wide as the cushioned seat allowed you, you stuck your ass out for him. He gave your ass a little slap while you waited for him to slip on a condom. He came prepared, you thought, probably planned on doing this from the moment he stepped into your office.
Johnny filled you up completely, your hypersensitivity making you feel his thickness in all its glory. He started off slow, careful of your tightness, but as he picked up the pace, your vision was all stars and constellations of pleasure. You must have moaned too loudly, because he stopped his thrusts and, in a moment, you felt him shove his tie inside your mouth.
“There’s still some people in the building, remember? Or do you like my cock so much that you don’t even care if they hear?”. You couldn’t muster an answer so you just kept drooling through the fabric your teeth bit into. Your pussy was dripping onto the leather, your wetness allowing Johnny to sink even deeper inside you. The feeling was so overwhelming that you opened your mouth wide in a moan, almost dropping his tie in the process.
You reached out your hand behind you to grab one of his arms in desperation. “I’m so close, so close, don’t stop”. He stared back at you with a crazy look on his face, and pinned your hand back on the headrest in front of you. Lifting one of your legs in the air, he starts fucking you so rough you thought the chair was going to break.
Your second orgasm hit you hard, your trembling body making it clear his size got too much for you. But there was no way you’d let him leave this office without cumming.
You climb down from the chair and got on your knees in front of him. Grasping his cock from the base, you started leaving open mouthed kisses on his balls first. You suck one in your mouth and glance up at him with the most innocent look you could muster, the contrast to your actions driving him insane. Johnny leans his weight on his hands positioned on your desk, letting you work your magic.
Returning on his tip, you ran your tongue in kitten licks on the slit, teasing him. An eyebrow raise from him compelled you to behave, pushing him all the way down at once. It was almost as if you pressed a button at the end of your throat with the way it triggered a guttural moan from him. He weaves one hand through your hair to keep you in place for a second longer and you gag. His dick pulls out, and the string of saliva falls over your white shirt making the fabric look see through. The sight of your lipstick on him, your watery doe eyes and your nipples poking through your now wet shirt was divine. He pushed past your lips again, and this time you made a good use of your tongue. You quicken your pace, his shaky groans and sharp gasps letting you know he was nearing his release.
Grabbing both his flexed thighs, you concentrate your breathing though your nose and deepthroat him again. Johnny growls, hips stuttering and eyes fluttered closed in delight. Warm liquid runs down your throat, almost choking you, but you take it all, relishing in his grunts and the way he moans your name.
After you catch your breath he bends down, planting a gentle kiss on your lips and offers a hand to help you up. You buttoned up in an awkward silence, not exactly sure what should be said after a session like that in a place like this.
“So, I’m guessing Donghyuck told you about my little crush on you?”
“Yup. You should thank him”. He smiles at you sweetly, pinching your cheek lightly and then moving his thumb in circles over the skin. “You also should have told me”
You rolled your eyes, “Not like I haven’t tried to! How much more obvious did I have to be?”
“I’m sorry! It’s just- you’re so pretty and I didn’t wanna be another one of the creepy guys that probably hit on you in the workplace”
Smiling at his thoughtfulness, you chose to forgive him and reached up for another kiss. He engulfs you with his long arms, and you push some hair off his eyes, admiring their softness.
“How about, I let you finish up here and we go for dinner after you’re done?”
“I’m not sure how I’m gonna concentrate after what we did”
“I’ll cover for you, but I can’t promise you that I’ll stop myself from distracting you”
#johnny smut#johnny scenarios#nct smut#nct scenarios#nct johnny#nct 127#nct 127 smut#johnny suh#heachan scenarios#donghyuck scenarios
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Artificial Intelligence | Namjoon
Summary
Namjoon after wondering the internet, came across a website Ad for a personalized A.I made for him and only for his viewing pleasure.
Words 3k
Cyber namjoon au! College namjoon! A.i reader!
Warnings: smut, masturbation, virtual reality, moaning and heavily, medium amount of plot, kind of vanilla, riding, dirty talk, muscular joon. Oral (f), heavy whining, begging, dom joon, verbal joon.
With his eyes glued tiredly to the computer, his hand moved the curser to press play. This was his third year in college, being who knew what at the end. After years of tiredness from research papers to fieldwork, being a chemistry major wasn’t paying off one bit. Not his student debt either. Yawning, his arms stretched up and then out before returning them back to the slightly chipped computer to type the URL in.
With each little tap and click, he answered the questions before being brought back to the previous page. Groaning in utter frustration, he closed his computer and put his head on the computer before meantly screaming. He was half way through the questions and it took him out and how knows if he had 200+ more to do. Sighing, he lifted his head uttering, “at least its not the actual test”
With slight relief, he lifted the mac screen and saw he exited everything on accident. Giving up, he searched for a virtual teacher. With no luck, he stumbled across and Ad for an A.I. with an obvious lack of how the cyber world was or knowledge on A.I, he opened a new tab. With searching the key word. ‘A.I’ a small little text box appeared.
A.I ( Artificial Intelligence )
is an intelligence demonstrated by machines, as opposed to the natural intelligence displayed by humans or animals
After looking up the word and its definition, he thought he had a solid idea of what it was. Therefore he exited the tab and searched the subject and then Ai. After doing so he scrolled and clicked what he assumed to be a cite and looked at what it had to offer.
“This is neat. Ah, Let’s see where this goes! Maybe if I do this I can study with a human, I think?” He spoke aloud, looking at the options. Waking up a bit from the sudden excitement, he stretched his body and looked around for a notepad and pen. While doing so, a pop up appeared.
Stacy is single and is 65 miles away from you, wanna interact
Once namjoon returned, he saw the women and clicked off. He figured this wasn’t an appropriate or free ran website. Itching the back of his head, he continued until another pop up this time an ad appeared.
Create your own human A.I with unlimited uses here
Curiously he clicked the ad and saw you had to buy it, immediately he got up from his desk. Legs numb a bit from the lack of moment, he grabbed his wallet and took out his student card. Shopping he looked at the computer than a card. “Yeah no,” he laughed to himself, knowing he could catch a case he didn’t want so he grabbed his credit card before swiveling the chair to sit down. After blindly trusting the site, he was taken to the tutorial and saw a fully naked man on the screen. In shock, he shut the computer down to realize it wasn’t that A. I he needed. Sighing, he flipped the top back up and immediately felt hopeless with the exam. Seeing there’s a female version, he looked around to make sure none on the body was there. He knew he had the room to himself, but it’s still worth it. You never knew, who could be watching.
From there he closed his blinds, turned off the lights, and got back to the computer. He started to create your body down to the smallest detail. He had time as his classes for the week were canceled for finals and other school-related activities like college tours etc.
“Finally, you’re done and now we give you a name!” he smirked softly, rubbing his palm over his jeans on accident. With a few glances and searches, he named you y/n. Smiling, he pressed continue and saw there was an outfit room and spent a few more moments picking something cute, casual and sexy for your body frame. After that was done, he pressed continue. Suddenly there was timer and another pop up.
TIME REMAINING: 23hours 59mins and 23seconds
Thank you for ordering “Y/n” the A.I, everything is processing as you read. While you wait, please pick from the available voices and chose which one suits your needs “Namjoon!”
He had no clue what to expect, but it was worth the wait. Meanwhile, he spent an hour going through the types of voices he wanted you to have, till he could find your voice a perfect match for his needs. After pressing finish, he plugged his computer in and left his computer on as he got out of the chair and brought himself to his bed to sleep. Thankfully, he took a shower hours ago and was already more steps to sleeping than ever. Soon after, his head laid softly on the white pillow and his eyes began to close asleep.
The next day, around 5minuets, until it was time to see what he had gotten himself into. He moved his viewing location to his bed as it was simply more comfortable. Beforehand, he ate and cleaned out items he thought might me helpful with what he thought he’d get into in any minute now. While waiting with pain, he watched the minutes drop one by one until it was less than a minute and he grabbed his seanna drift, a virtual reality set made for his computer and recommended from an email sent to him earlier. He figured it came with more than just the yearly plan he paid for.
As his wallet cried, he read the direction of the screen ok how to connect the device to the website and began following the video instructions. As they told him where to find things and hook it up, he saw that it needed to charge and groaned loudly in annoyance. So he spent that saddened hour, cleaning his room till he saw green and followed the instructions once again.
“Okay ready!” he said, as the Vr headset and earbuds sat softly on his head. With wow and o’s he saw you in this basic room with the lights off and sudden shoe-making noises. Turning his head, he saw you turn on the lights and sat on the bed in front of him. Looking around he took note of his virtual surroundings before grabbing his flashlight and pouring lube he had trouble finding on the table and poor it inside the toy.
Waiting for you to make a move, he got up and placed his computer on the bedside table, and laid on his back. As shirtless and gray sweatpants he was, he still felt clothed. In that moment he took off his sweats, leaving his boxers on he noticed the screen changed onto the bed and it spoked him slowly. With you laying on his chest, he grabbed a free pillow and hugged it as if you were there.
“You feel warm” you chuckled, as namjoon blushed in the shock.
“Thanks, I guess you can see and hear me?” He asked, rubbing you “the pillow softly”
“I can, my system works like an actual person” you mentioned look g him in the eyes. Confused, he hummed in agreement. Whining, he was very pleased with how human you were and a bit concerned as well. He was amused and amazed at how advanced society had become.
After small talk, he warmed up to your very realistic body, voice and actions. Not to mention his hands moving slowly up and down his length as he watched you shower and how cute you looked when you did. Moving a bit faster, you looked and the system told you he was jerking off.
In a surprise you turned around and looked at him, covering your body. With him in tune with idea, he smirked. “what’s wrong baby? You don’t like when I view your body like this?” He asked, grinding his hips against the pillow.
“Well, um I do. Its just new to me okay” your system lies, as it registered grunts from namjoon.
“Well can you turn around for me?” He adds, taking his toy and liking it up to his actual length. Nodding, you turned around and bent over. As namjoon said his movements as listed in the tutorial earlier, you opened your legs as if he was spreading them for you. Holding onto the wall, he said more commands, and eventually, it looked like he was fucking you and it caused an involuntary grunt from his mouth.
“Fuck!” He cursed, sliding the toy up and down in a slow pace as he watched how his camera was moving. Looking at you he got up from a lying position, to his knees and moved the pillow into a u shape and placed his toy so it could feel more real to him.
Hearing your soft moans and a good view of your ass, he began to thrust faster into the toy, holding the pillow down as if he was your back and began moaning curse words. Luckley his head gear caught that and made your moans shift to match his rhythm.
“Ah! Ah! Please don’t stop!” You moaned, griping the shower walls looking back as his eyes wondered your body and all heard from him were grunts. Keeping your ask, he tried pacing himself so he wouldn’t cum too soon as the feeling was slowly building the more he got more into it.
“God! Fuck” he cursed again, as his head went back imaging you bounce back on him. Moving the toy to the desired speed, he kept going closing his eyes and listening to your moans as he reached his end. Jerking forward once more, his cock twitched as his cum spilled inside the toy. After coming down from the slight high, he looked at you who was hard breathing, body slightly shaking and a stream of cum laced your ass with grace.
After today’s use of the A.I he unplugged the device and let it charge. Shortly after, he exited the screen you were on and went to take a shower. Reflecting and thinking how could he make this experience even better and with that thought, he googled the company and saw they made Bluetooth connected toys. Browsing he found a torso toy and paid the extra $15 for the next day delivery. Smiling, he closed his computer and went to beg shortly after.
The next night, he had the box that contained the sex toy. He took it out and realized he picked the right color and body for you. As he read the directions he plugged it to charge and went to do some light reading verire coming back. Seeing the full bars on the side of the torso toy, he grabbed his headset and plugged everything in and made sure the section was secured.
You have connected toy 1251819, your system will now function off of movements from the toy and vr audio. Please speak select the place you wish to be in
After reading namjoon said “library” soon after, you showed up in the same outfit as he picked, sitting in the chair.
“Oh hi namjoon! What are you doing here?” You asked, smiling and putting the book down?
“Well I’m light studying for our test, mind if I join you?* he tells, as the vr moves his view next to you. While he looks around in his vr set, he notices your in a secluded area. As his hands move around the half thigh it registers and you blush slight.
"Sorry” he apologized, looking you up and down. As you told him it was okay, the screen of consent popped up and he knew it was okay to touch you. In that moment, he got on his knees again this time with a body like toy underneath. He instructed you to strip and as he watched you take off your clothes he rubbed his length in his bare hands.
“Good girl now gets on your back for me on the table,” he praised, watching you as your legs reminded closed. Opening them on the toy, you followed. He rubbed his hands around your thigh and rubbed around your lips till he found your clit and gently rubbed you in circles as you began moaning for him.
“You want me to stop?” He smirked, nodding no he stopped.
“Then tell me what you want” he adds, rubbing and teasing the area slowly. After explaining that you want him badly and would do anything, he removed his hand and rubbed his tip around your entrance.
“Please, please namjoon. I want it badly. You felt so good the last time” you told whining softly.
“Oh, you liked that?” He smirked chuckling softly under his breath. Nodding, he lubed you up hearing you moan to his touched, and soon began softly thrusting into you. Griping your shoulder softly, he stuped down your breast. As he began sucking on them soft, he moved in deeper feeling the toy clench on him. Surprised he jerked forward and went faster. It really felt similar to phaycal and actual human body. He continued thrusting, leaning over the you and the sting harder as grunts and your moaning filled his ear.
“S-so big namjoon, it feels-” you interrupted with a moan and he groaned feeling the toys warmness and the wetness of the amount of lube in you.
“Mm keep talking baby, tell me how good it feels!” He demanded, groaning and curing as he went harder. After a few words, his body started going faster as it started to feel too good on him. He told you to just moan and take him as he began chasing his high, which was beyond what he knew. As you moaned his name and reacted to his length and speed, namjoons grunts turned into soft whines and moans as he enjoyed himself with you.
“Oh you feel so good baby” he breathed out heavily. “Ah don’t stop cumming for me” he added, as the system didn’t stop cumming on him causing namjoon to thrust harder as the machine started releasing water already put in the toy on him. Feeling even more organic, he rubbed your clit getting you to choke on your moan as he went harder. Groaning deep and now at an animalistic speed the bed started speaking and his body kept going as he became more vocal with the feeling.
“OH GOD IN CUMMING!” he announced yelling, cumming so hard he started feeling sick and breathing so deep it made the feeling even more unbearable. Coming once more, he fell on top of the toy and laid there till he was able to come down from his high and plug his stuff back up. Looking he saw that not only did his toy break, but his computer was also malfunction with errors on the screen.
With not a lot of energy, he closed his computer and sat the now broken toy beside him as he breathed heavily. Not to mentioned the multiple knocks at his door, he assumed where from one of his neighbors.
“Just his luck” he whispered as he softly passed out sleep.
#bts fanfction#bts x reader#bts smut#bts#bts fics#namjoon x reader#namjoon smut#namjoon fanfic#kim namjoon#namjoon#au#bts fanfic#kim namjoon x reader#kim namjoon x y/n
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morning meetings
summary: on vacation spencer rekindles an old love which brought him greater joy then he remembered
authors note: wow, this is my first fic in a while. hopefully it’s good. but yeah. i got this idea today too so i’m so sorry if it’s hella cheesy. but yeah
warnings: none! pure fluff
word count & pairing: spencer r & fem reader : 1.9k
remember to like and reblog!
The wind was blowing exactly 15mph and Spencer Reid had just arrived in Seattle. His job, as a profiler, took him all across the US. And his mind took him everywhere else. Although Seattle was different, Seattle was special. See, when his mother and father were still together, they took him here every summer. Because every summer they would come here, just to eat at Marge’s Hideout.
Today although, he wasn’t there because of his job. He was there on vacation. Or any form of that for him.
After checking out of his hotel and going for a walk on the pier, there was only one thing on his mind, coffee. Coffee from Marge’s.
So he picked up biked and went along the trail. Not using GPS, not since he had an eidetic memory, but since he knew the path by heart. Every good memory he’s had in his childhood always took place here, in Seattle. More specifically, on Louise’s Trail that goes straight through the town, and leading right to Marge’s Hideout. Although full of cobblestones and vines, it truly felt like you were at peace. At least for him, it did.
He knew he was coming to a stop on his wobbling journey as soon as he smelt croissants and pancakes. Stumbling and tipping over on his bike as he tried to get off, someone opened the door. And in through the door, he heard a laugh. The same laugh he had heard almost every day in his early 20’s. It couldn’t be, could it.
Quickly floundering to the door while trying not to trip over his own shoes, he kept thinking to himself. Or more though, all the memories washed over him. All of the ridiculous, joyful, and heartbreaking moments washed over him.
Finally getting inside, he heard it again. The same laugh. The same laugh he had heard all those years back. “Y/N?” He spoke causing a woman with rich brown hair to turn around.
“Spence,” she breathed out.
They both looked at each other until she finally broke the silence.
“Hi.”
He went over to her seat. Trying to maintain an appropriate distance you would have with a stranger. Although she wasn’t a stranger. She was his last love. And his only love.
Y/N and Spencer had dated for 4 years. It was her first day of orientation when she met Spencer though. He was assisting the class she was in, and she couldn’t help herself but to ogle at his clumsiness and awkwardness. So, she asked him out for coffee, strictly platonic though.
Of course, at first, he was quite conflicted to take up her offer, but he did anyway. Because she seemed nice, and he would never not take up an offer if it involved coffee. So they went there. And then again. And again. And again, and again, and again, and again, and again, until he couldn’t take it anymore. So, he asked her out on a proper date. And after that, they both had fallen helplessly in love with each other. Although, after year 3 of them being together, things started to fall. He had gotten accepted into the BAU under Agent Hotchners authority, so he was barely he had moved to Virginia which meant long distance. At first, they thought they could do it, and they did, but that was until she had started finally her first year as an intern.
They started seeing each other less, and less, and less. And so they called it off. And although on the call, they kept everything reserved, it was all waterworks after. Y/N didn’t talk to anyone for a week and Spencer developed a drug addiction. Although at first, he thought it was because of what had happened with Tobias Hankel, he soon concluded that it was also powered by the breakup.
Of course, though, time passed. She started to see other people, and he started getting help. She started to really plan out the future, and he started to enjoy the moment, and live now, not in the past. She started to become him. And he started to become her.
“Ugh, how are you? Long time no see.” He said awkwardly as she kept on looking down.
“Good, good. How are you?” Her sweet angelic voice, which might have been silkier than before.
“Better.”
They both stayed in awkward silence for a couple of seconds which truly felt like decades.
“Here,” she said while moving to an empty booth, “sit.” And so he did. Him playing with his feet and her looking out the window until she suddenly asked a question. “So, are you still working at the BAU?”
“Yeah… Yep, still working there.”
“That’s nice.” She mumbled.
“How’s your work?” He asked, trying to start up a conversation as he pulled up a menu.
Suddenly something changed in her tone. She became more joyful. Happier. She straightened her back and moved the hair on her shoulder back. Spencer had noticed this. This was exactly what she would do when he asked about anything relating to what she was learning in college. She truly loved what she did, and for that, he was happy. “My work is great! I just got my first solo surgy, and that was fun! I mean, of course, it’s exhausting, but I truly love it. And Macey. You remember Macey right?”
Of course, he remembered Macey. Anyone who knew Y/N in college would remember Macey. They were the best of friends, absolutely inseparable. There wouldn’t be a time of the day where they weren’t together. All, except coffee time. Because that was strictly reserved for Spencer.
“Yeah, of course, I do. Who wouldn’t?” She simply laughed.
“Yeah, well she just got engaged!”
“Macey? Macey Williams? Married! She couldn’t keep a guy for more than 2 weeks.”
“I know! But a little after we broke up, she met this guy named Brian and they were just good together.”
It got a little quiet after she had mentioned the breakup. Spencer looked back down to his menu as if it was a foreign topic and Y/N frowned while grabbing a menu for herself.
Although her initial plan was to grab a coffee and go. Just like she always does, she decided to stick around today, knowing she wouldn’t get a moment like this again.
“So, what will you two lovely people want today?” The waiter chipped while walking up to them.
“Oh, I’ll have 2 buttermilk pancakes: blueberry. Scrambled eggs, and a coffee.”
“And I’ll be having a strawberry mango crepe, 2 croissants, and one coffee.”
“Great! Will that be all?” They both looked at each other then nonned. “Amazing, we will get your orders out as soon as possible!” And with that, she skipped away.
“So, besides work, anything fun happen to you?” Y/N questioned Spencer while toying with her bandaid.
“Well, I mean not much. I have an incredible team though! They are truly some of the most important people in my life. And my mother also of course. Although she hasn’t gotten better, I still write her a letter every day. And see her at least once every other month. And I’m a Godfather now!”
She always loved how excited he had gotten whenever he was talking about the BAU or his team. For such a messed up job, he truly loved it. And that’s all that really mattered.
She laughed, in pure and absolute joy. “Wow! That’s amazing,”
He laughed too. “It is! Isn’t it! What’s going on in your life? Besides works, please.”
“Well, besides work, I’m gonna say my life is going pretty well. You know, I have some friends, and I have this little town. My boyfriend and I broke up, but honestly, I’m glad we did. He was really holding me down. And I mean, without him ever breaking up, I would have never moved into this little paradise. Plus, I mean, it’s closer than my old home. But, I too am a godmother! My sister, Eleanor, don’t think you ever met her, but she had my niece. A true angel honestly. But yeah, my life has been going. Smooth and steady.”
“Well, I’m sorry that your boyfriend broke up with you, but his lost, right?”
“Well, it wasn’t mine, that’s for sure.”
Soon enough their food came, and conversations continued. A couple more coffees were ordered and so was another crepe. Spencer and Y/N sat in that booth for what felt like hours. Just listening to each other. Whether that be laughing or reminiscing about old memories. Spencer couldn’t help but look at her hair. How he was a sucker for that hair. Always was. And her laugh. Whenever she laughed, he smiles just a little more until it turned into a full-on grin. A grin full of happiness and joy. And for her, every time he would say anything remotely smart-assy, she would start laughing. Every single time. Because, no matter how much she used to love him, he couldn’t stand the fact that he knew everything. Except, of course when she needed to study for a test.
They soon though, had to carry on with their lives. Apart from each other. In a realm where they will never see the other again.
“Can I walk you to your car? I’m gonna bike around the city, and I don’t think I would feel safe knowing you were driving with me on the same road.” He teased.
“Ha ha okay, I get it. I suck at driving. But, to your case, I have, actually, gotten really good at driving.”
“Sure, sure. Whatever will you happy.” He teased her as she looked up at him and scoffed. Pulling out her keys from her clutch. “Well, this is my stop.”
“Alright. Well, then I better get going. It was marvelous seeing you again.”
Y/N now had a choice to make. 1: Go after the man she once loved and go on a date, knowing that the chances of a happy ending are few to none. Or 2: Leave this incident be and carry on with her life.
“Wait!” She called out. He immediately stopped. So she caught up with him. “Do you wanna, um, I don’t know, possibly just, maybe, go out? Whenever you’re next free on your stay?”
Unlike making such a big of a deal out of it like he did last time she asked him out for coffee, this time he immediately said, “Yes.”
“Really? That’s great,” she spoke in disbelief that he would say yes. “Well, when are you next free?”
“I’m free for the next week and a half.”
“Great see you on Wednesday!” She said whilst getting in her cars. But before she left, she asked him, “Wait, Spence, do you need my number? It hasn’t changed from the one you had so-”
“Nope! Edition memory, remember?”
“Who could forget.” She turned on her engine, and before heading out of the little town that was oh so special to him, she yelled something which he vaguely picked up. “Call me!”
And with that, Spencer set off. Aiming for the sunset on the once in a blue sunny day. And going to them there was only one thing he could think about, her number. Because, of course, he had the eidetic memory, so he was never going to forget. But that’s not the reason he remembered her phone. I never was, never will be.
tagging: @criminalmindsmoodrn, @marshmallowtraver, @himarisolace
#spencer reid#Criminal Minds#mgg x reader#spencer reid x reader#reader x spencer reid#y/n x spencer reid#spencer reid x y/n#spencer reid fluff#mira writes
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Our Stars Collided- Part 1
THIS IS THE SURPRISE IM WRITING A JATP SERIES AND IM SO EXCITED. This first one kinda sucks at first, but I swear it gets better the more you get into it.
Words: 2.1k
Summary: The reader has been wondering who the phantoms in the band are. But when she comes face to face with a phantom will she get her answers? (This does not follow all the events of the series)
Pairing: Luke x reader
Warnings: none, except bad writing
...........................................
You had lunch this period, you were one track minded in that moment, and b-lining for the cafeteria. But as you passed the lockers your half run nearly turned to a stop.
You had made eye contact with none other than the cute boy from Julie's hologram band. Except every single person in the hallway was acting like they couldn't see him. Which in their defense, they probably couldn't, you were probably going insane.
According to Julie they were holograms. But when everyone else had gasped in shock that they had suddenly disappeared, you continued to watch them. And yet no one else noticed. From that moment on you were convinced yourself that it had been a figment of your imagination. Until now, that was.
You figured it might raise suspicion if you continued staring into what everyone else believed to be nothing. So you hid behind a pole and watched.
Julie seemed to be just talking on the phone to everyone else. But you watched as she continued on her conversation with the supposed hologram. Their conversation wasn't anything interesting, it seemed to just be about what song they were playing in a few weeks; and the boy apologized for being somewhat difficult to work with. As you watched, another sophomore, named Nick approached. You peeked around the pole to see where the boy went and saw that he was staring right at you.
You flew back behind your hiding place. You felt your pulse quickening though you weren't sure if it was because you were afraid he'd seen you or for a different reason entirely.
After you'd calmed yourself down you opened your eyes, you saw the boy standing right in front of you, only a couple feet away. You clapped a hand over your mouth to keep yourself from screaming.
Wait, you can see me?" the boy asked. He sounded just as freaked out as you felt.
You nodded your head, with your hand still on your mouth.
The boy's eyes went wide for a moment. But then he looked like he was deep in thought. "Why can you see me?" he asked curiously.
Your expression went blank for a moment. How could you answer a question you didn't even know? Also did someone give you drugs, or was this actually happening?
"I have no idea, also are you even real?" You asked. You reached out to poke his shoulder, and you felt nothing. "Nope, I'm definitely imagining this," you said aloud to yourself.
You turned and started to walk away. "Wait!" the boy yelled.
"Yes, imaginary person who I have probably made up in my head?" you asked.
He talked as he walked to catch up with you. "I'm real, I'm very, very real. I'm just also dead."
You crossed your arms and faced him. "So you're a ghost?" you asked.
"Yes."
You crossed your arms. "So prove it, how do I know you're not a figment of my imagination?"
The boy paused for a moment to think. "Umm I know there's a student named Julie that goes here and she has fourth period dance class, and you probably don't know that, so how would a figment of your imagination know that?" After finishing his trail of thought the boy looked over at you with a hopeful smile.
You thought over it for a moment which was mildly difficult with that face looking at you. "Yeah, okay, that adds up I suppose." His smile turned into a slight smugness that he had convinced you.
"See, I told you I was real."
You pushed down the heat attempting to rise to your cheeks.
"But how?" you asked.
"Wellllllllll that's a little bit more of a complicated question," Luke explained, as he itched the back of his head.
Somehow, you were still getting more confused. "How is it complicated?"
"That's kinda a long story. But, I can explain some of it," he offered.
You gestured to him that the floor was his.
"Oh, not right now because I'm pretty sure I've made like at least five people think you're crazy already." He gestured around to people at their lockers who were staring at you.
"But I can tell you later, if you meet me at Julie's house, after school," he promised.
"Okay, yeah, I'm not doing anything, and I've been there before so I know where it is," you agreed.
"Cool! I never caught your name by the way," he mentioned.
"Oh it's y/n, and you are?"
"Luke, and I'll see you then!" He waved at you and in a poof he was gone.
It was definitely not a normal way to start your lunch. But you supposed that from the day that they had performed your life hadn't been normal.
Three hours later you found yourself standing in front of Julie Molina's house. You were silently hoping that this was the right house, because that would be a very interesting conversation if it wasn't. Luckily enough, Julie was the one who opened the door.
"Hi, um I'm here to see Luke?" you hesitantly asked.
"Oh yeah, he told me about you, come on I’ll show you where he is.” She closed the door and started leading you through a garden, as you tried not to read too deeply into what she had said. Eventually, you walked down a set of steps to some sort of studio. As she opened the wide white entrance doors you saw all three of the guys you had watched play with Julie a week ago.
You stood in shock for a moment. So you hadn’t been seeing things! You only came back to reality when you heard Julie say your name.
“Meet Reggie, Alex, and you already met Luke. So Reggie and Alex, meet y/n,” she introduced.
“Hello!” Reggie waved.
“Hi,” said Alex.
“Hi,” you responded.
“So now is your time to ask questions without someone thinking you are going insane,” Luke offered, as he sat down on a couch.
“Okay, so you guys are ghosts, right?”
The three all nodded their heads.
“But for some reason Julie and I can see you?” you observed.
“Yes, but we don’t actually know the reason for that. Or to a lot of things for that matter. But we think it might mean that you two are related to our pasts in some sort of way,” the one you remembered to be Alex, suggested.
“Okay, interesting. Do you know why people can see you when you play?” you inquired.
“No, I mean we think it’s because we are connected to Julie and that we are still connected with music, but other than that we have no idea,” Luke said.
You continued asking them questions for quite some time, until you couldn’t think of anything anymore. Granted, there was still a lot you didn’t know, but that was fine with you. Afterall, asking someone how they died felt a little too personal; even if they did make you think you were losing your mind for a week straight.
Eventually your conversation diverged into other matters like school, and music, and of course food.
“You play the guitar?” Luke asked in surprise.
You turned to him from a conversation you were having with Alex. “I mean, I’m not as good as you, but yes,” you admitted.
“Wait, you play guitar TOO?” Reggie asked in awe.
You had to laugh at the sudden fascination with you. “Yes, I do.”
Reggie seemed to be ecstatic. “You have to play something; here, use Luke’s guitar,” he offered.
Alex lightly slapped his arm and you watched the corner of your eye as Luke muttered something along the lines of what the hell Reggie.
“It’s okay, I don’t wanna steal someone else’s equipment, and I usually only play in my room by myself. Besides, you probably don’t wanna hear me anyways,” you pointed out.
“You don’t have to play, but that’s b.s. I’ve heard you’d play and you’re obviously talented,” Julie chimed in. You were slightly embarrassed but you accepted the compliment. Soon enough your conversation died down and it was decided that you should probably head back home as it was getting late. You waved goodbye to the boys and told Julie you would see her tomorrow.
As you ate supper, you realized that even though you had one of the most eventful days in history you could tell no one about it, including your family. Otherwise they would think you were just as insane as you thought you were. But you supposed there were worse problems to have then knowing a band that you couldn’t talk about.
As you got ready for bed you decided to bring out your acoustic guitar.
You started strumming before realizing there was a particular song you hadn’t played in a long while. It took you a couple attempts to remember the fingering for it, but once you did the music started to flow out of you.
“When the rain is blowing in your face, and the whole world is on your case. I could offer you a warm embrace to make you feel my love.”
You then jumped to the melody at a higher octave. You decided to go all out and sing it to your heart's content.
“I know you haven’t made your mind up yet, but I would never do you wrong. I’ve known it from the moment that we met. No doubt in my mind where you belong.”
You strummed a couple more chords before placing your guitar down. You turned around and came inches away from Luke’s face.
“Shit!” you yelled on instinct. You paused for a moment to make sure no one had heard you, but you didn’t hear anything.
“What are you two doing here?” you hissed.
Reggie was the first to open his mouth. “Well uh you see here, we actually have a very good reason for being here. Yep, and Luke’s going to tell you that reason.” He clapped his bandmate on the shoulder, and Luke glared at him.
“Y/n I’m really sorry, but he really wanted to hear you play. And I was super curious too, and we just couldn’t resist,” Luke apologized.
You took a look at them still wanting to be mad, but you couldn’t bring yourself to do it. They looked not unlike sad puppies.
You fake sighed, but you couldn’t fight the smile on your face. “I guess I can let you guys off the hook this time.”
“I swear it won’t happen again,” Reggie promised.
“Next time just knock instead of scaring the shit out of me, okay?” you asked.
“You got it, though I can’t say we won’t scare you. I mean we are ghosts,” Luke teased, with a glint in his eyes that you couldn’t figure out.
You amusedly rolled your eyes at him, “Whatever, Luke.”
The next day you couldn’t really focus on your clases. All you could think about were theories on why you could see Alex, Reggie, and Luke and why everyone else couldn’t. By the time lunch rolled around you were very thankful Julie was in the same lunch period as you.
“Hey!” she greeted you.
“What’s up?” you asked, shutting your locker.
“Just something I want to show you, follow me,” she gestured. You didn’t know where she was taking you but you just shrugged and went with it. She led you over to the next set of lockers and down a set of steps to a pretty much vacant part of the school. And once you turned the corner you heard a very loud ‘surprise!’
“Aeeehp!” you yelled in shock.
“Oh my god, you guys have got to stop doing that,” you said to the three.
“Yeah, they never do,” Julie sighed.
“But anyways, we brought you down here to tell you, drumroll please?” Julie requested.
They all started stomping their feet.
“We want you to join Julie and the Phantoms!” Alex announced.
“Wait, what?” you excitedly asked.
“Well after the little stunt that Luke and Reggie pulled, which I do not approve of by the way,” she sent a glare back at the two of them, “we had a band meeting and decided that we want you in the band, that is of course if you want to be in the band?”
You were positively beaming. “Yes of course I do! But what do you want me to do? You already have two singers and an electric guitarist.”
“Well we always have room for more singing, and I’m just lead guitar. We used to have three guitars in sunset curve, so why not in Julie and the Phantoms?” Luke questioned.
“I’m game if you guys are.”
“So you’re in?” Reggie asked.
You smiled brightly, “I’m so in.”
#quillsandtyposwrites#q&t- jatp#q&t- x reader#luke patterson#luke patterson imagine#luke patterson oneshot#luke patterson x reader#jatp#luke jatp#julie jatp#julie and the phantoms#julie and the fat ones#reggie jatp#alex jatp#luke patterson x y/n#jatp x reader#jatp netflix#jatp reader insert#reader x luke patterson#reader x luke#our stars collided
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honesty and promise me part 6 [co-written with @darkmagyk] [read on ao3]
Ah, the age old question: what to get for the guy who has everything and also when you’re trying make up for the fact that you actually missed his birthday entirely while spending as little money as possible?
“Where the hell are you taking me?” Percy asks as they wait their turn to disembark. “I haven’t been to Staten Island in ages.”
Annabeth has never been at all. She knows there’s a handful of Greek revival buildings in the Historic District, but she’s never had a car to get there, or the stomach to get on the ferry. Percy had practically climbed onto the bow, his own personal reenactment of Titanic, arms thrown out to the wind, while Annabeth attempted to keep her breakfast down.
Having spectacularly flamed out last week in Philadelphia, she can’t let Percy’s birthday go without some sort of commemoration. The Staten Island Ferry is just part one. “All in due time,” she says, checking her phone for directions. They still have a bus they need to board, and Annabeth is getting sweaty in her leather jacket. Thank God Percy volunteered to carry the backpack with all their gear; otherwise, when this jacket comes off, it’s going to smell worse than his tights at the end of a long day.
Like a magnet, his gaze is glued to the strips of the bay he can spot through the bus windows, his head resting on his chin, a soft, serene smile lifting his lips. All the tightness, all the stress he’s held in his shoulders the last few times she’s seen him, it melts away at the sharp, salty tang of rust and sea air which suffuses every corner. She doesn’t even mind that he isn’t looking at her.
Hand in hand, finally, they get off the bus, and walk to the overlook. Slinging the backpack off his shoulder, he sets it down at his feet, eyes fixed on the strip of shoreline which can be seen, even all the way over here. “What is that?” he breathes, shielding his eyes against the glint of the sun on the water.
“That,” says Annabeth, “is the Staten Island ship graveyard.”
Still stewing in her guilt over how she missed his birthday--despite the fact that he didn’t even tell her--Annabeth decided to swallow her pride and ask for help. It took an inordinate number of coffee orders and one instance of her actually getting down on her knees and begging, pleading to their long friendship together and swearing that Annabeth would never use this information for evil, but she had finally wheedled the secret out of Thalia: Percy’s greatest love, after the ballet, was sailing. Ship construction, naval battles, maritime history, they were, according to Thalia, the only things which could entice Percy to actually set down the tights and “get some frickin’ sunshine for once in his life.” Annabeth hadn’t believed her, until Thalia had dug up an old photo which had never been posted to his socials--and Annabeth had certainly scoured them for long enough, she would have recognized it had she seen it before--of Percy, on a glittering, jewel-like sea, a rope wrapped around his fist as he leaned over the side of a sailboat, eyes squeezed shut, mouth wide in a graceless, unrestrained joy.
“Back in the eighties, there used to be over four hundred ships down there,” Annabeth says, coming up beside him. “A lot of it’s been scrapped or sold, but there are still maybe a hundred or so boats, including the USS PC-1264, one of the--”
“One of the two predominantly African American crewed Navy ships from World War II,” he interrupts, eyes light. “No way!”
“Yes way,” Annabeth grins, unzipping her jacket. The midday sun beats down on them, the air sticky and heavy, and she needs this thing off, pronto. “And, there’s a ship that was supposedly the command post for the General Slocum disaster.” Not that she really knows what that is.
He whirls around. “The Abram S. Hewitt is there? Holy sh--”
His jaw drops. His eyes bug out.
Part two of his present was the ship graveyard. Part three is the outfit.
Annabeth, one hand on her hip, slings her jacket over her shoulder with the other, the leather hot against her bare skin. She has chosen to forgo a shirt entirely, wearing nothing but her nicest pair of black jeans with the thick suspenders and a shiny, red bra. And yes, she had Thalia touch up her hair, five inches of curls lopped off on one side, undercut sharp and severe.
“I thought we could have a picnic here,” she says, a smile curling her lips without her permission. “Then, if you want, we could do some light trespassing? See the ships up close?”
Percy swallows. He breathes in through his nose, shuddering. “Sure,” he whispers, hoarse. “Sounds good.”
Dropping to the ground like a rock, studiously not checking her out, Percy unpacks their picnic, laying out the blanket, something blue, old, but soft Annabeth had knitted in a fit of pre-finals’ anxiety in college. Annabeth had hinted the night before that he should make them some food, as no one could make a grilled cheese like Percy, and she sure as shit wasn’t going to buy them some prepackaged, tasteless garbage.
Percy’s sandwiches, just like the man himself, are stacked: thick, sourdough slices (which she suspects he made himself), bacon, turkey, apple, tomato, lettuce, avocado, mayo for her but none for him. She’d always been under the impression that dancers needed to watch what they ate, endlessly in pursuit of some unattainable ideal of beauty. Nope. Percy eats everything and anything he can get his hands on, high carb and high protein and high everything else. It makes sense, she guesses, for someone who basically has to bench their own body weight daily. Every inch of him is tailored for power and velocity, to propel him out of the grasp of gravity--rabbit food just isn’t going to cut it here.
Munching down, he maneuvers himself into a number of splits and stretches, unable to give up his routine for a single day. “When I was probably thirteen or fourteen,” he says, halfway through a tirade of reminiscence, “my dad took me and Triton and Kym to Cyprus, for some family bonding time.” He rolls his eyes. “You can probably imagine how well that went. Most of that trip was… well, Cyprus was definitely the best part. We went to Kyrenia Castle, which has this amazing museum that holds one of the oldest known ships in the world. Like, this thing was operational during the lifetime of Alexander the Great, and it sank about a mile away from the harbor.” He takes a heroic bite, chewing with his lips firmly shut.
“Cool.”
He swallows. “Very cool. I love really old ships, but you can imagine how few of those are still left, and not just because we haven’t found them.”
Annabeth feels her neck heating up, despite the shade they sit in. “Well, I hope these ones are old enough for you.”
“Oh, these are incredible--don’t get me wrong! I had no idea there was anything like this so close to home. Who needs Cyprus when you have Staten Island?” He grins, placing his sandwich down, throwing his arms in a stretch.
“I know it isn’t Tokyo or Moscow or anything…” she trails off, self-conscious even as she doesn’t actually ask the question that’s on her mind.
Shamefully, she has found that she still thinks about what Will had said at his apartment over a month ago at this point: Percy Jackson, boy toy of the rich and famous. But if she actually asks, it will make her look like some totally jealous girlfriend or something, like she honestly cares about Percy’s past sexual conquests.
She doesn’t care. She doesn’t.
He’s just led a really interesting life, and she wishes she could relate. That’s all.
“It’s not,” he agrees, bending his back with an audible pop. “It’s better.”
“Really? A little ship graveyard is better than the sites of Tokyo?”
“I didn’t see any sites in Tokyo,” he said. “Mostly just Mittie’s hotel room.”
“Mittie?”
Percy looks at his sandwich, suddenly very interested in the crust.
“She’s someone important, then?”
Silence.
Annabeth laughs to break the tension. “Okay, I'll bite--who’s Mittie? Another model?”
Taking a small bite of sandwich, he chews, methodical and deliberate. He swallows, clearing his throat. “Margherita Savoy.”
The name doesn’t ring a bell. “Who?”
“Princess Margherita Elisabetta of Sardinia.”
Her mouth drops open a little. “A princess?”
Percy shrugs. “Technically. The throne of Sardinia doesn’t exist anymore, obviously, but she’s big into the money and the titles and stuff.”
A princess. A fucking princess. “But she lets you call her Mittie.”
He looks a little constipated. “She didn’t… until she took me to Tokyo.”
“Oh,” she says. Because what else is there to say? She’s certainly no princess.
“She was nice,” Percy says, softly. “You know, eventually. Once we got to know each other.”
Her phone is hot in her pocket, like it’s preemptively searching Google for pictures of Margherita Elisabetta of Sardinia, downloading them all so Annabeth can scribble all over her face like a bad high school movie. “A pretender?” She scoffs, exaggeratedly, her fists tight against the grass. “Talk to me when you get a real princess.”
His ears go red. “Um…”
No way. “No fucking way.”
“Look, Eugenie was just kinda pissed when Triton broke up with her, and so she just thought that we’d have some fun.”
“Oh my god.” She says, looking at him in something like horror. And telling herself at least it wasn’t her distant cousin Madeleine.
“It was only for like a week or two,” Percy protests. “We went to a club in Berlin she knew Triton liked to go to so he would see us and get annoyed.”
“A princess dated you because she was pissed at your brother?”
“Only twice,” he says, casual, like any of this is normal and not absolutely insane. “Eleonore is one of Kym’s friends. And she’s technically, like, an archduchess, not a princess. But I don’t know. A couple of his other girlfriends wanted to get back at him, and I was in Europe and available, so we just…” He trails off. She can hear the ellipsis, hanging hot and heavy over them, each dot dropping like a stone. What is this, fucking Mamma Mia?
“When was the last time this happened?” she asks, not really wanting to hear the answer.
He rubs a hand over his mouth, gaze unfocused as he thinks. “Um… not since the week after Frank left, I think. Mittie wanted to go to Bora Bora but she didn’t want to go alone, you know?”
“No, I meant,” she pushes through as her stomach flutters, tight and uncomfortable, “girls using you to get back at your brother.”
His face falls, just a bit. “Oh. Last year, I guess.”
“Who was she?” And where is she so Annabeth can punt her off a building?
“Calypso Atlas.” He sighs, wistful, with more reverence than he had given any of the princesses, and Annabeth’s stomach flops, different from the flutter. Painful this time. “She actually liked me.”
“Everyone likes you,” she says, faintly. Maybe wearing the leather jacket is giving her heatstroke.
“You know, they really don’t. Not how it counts, anyway.” He picks at a blade of grass, rubbing it between his fingers. “Most of the girls who wanted to use me to get back at Triton only did it because they knew how much he liked to bitch about me--the ‘half-breed bastard.’” He rolls his eyes, huffs a laugh. “And even Kym’s friends didn’t actually like me. Like, yeah, they’d fly me all over with them, but they didn’t want to be seen with me. Mittie and I were on and off for years, and she gets photographed constantly. I’m not in any of them.”
Annabeth thinks she might actually be sick.
But he doesn’t stop. “It wasn’t so bad when they went around saying that I was a dancer with the Paris Opera, because I was, and I was proud of it. But it wasn’t… I don’t know. It wasn’t like with Frank, whose family does have a ton of money, but who only ever dated me because he liked me.” He picks another blade of grass, tearing it between his fingers. “Calypso, though. She was different.” And he smiles, a little.
“How?”
That smile grows wider. “She just called me one day, out of the blue, and very publicly asked me to be her date to Milan Fashion Week after she and Triton broke up and he immediately turned around and got engaged. She was super up front about it, didn’t try to sleep with me or anything, even though I know she was friends with some people and probably heard about my various talents.”
She knows exactly which talents he means. He winks at Annabeth, ironic and self-conscious, and she forces out a little laugh, as though the idea of him going down on someone else is charming.
“But then we actually had a good time together, and a few weeks later, she called me up again, and again, and again, until eventually she introduced me to her father--which was a hell of an experience, let me tell you. The Atlas family puts the Olympianides family to shame as far as dysfunction goes. But it was nice, in its own way; if I’d ever asked Mittie to introduce me to her dad, she’d have laughed in my face.”
“Sounds like you were pretty serious,” Annabeth manages.
“That was the problem.” He looks away, towards the sea. Always towards the sea. “She wanted to leave Paris, travel the world. And she wanted me to go with her.”
“To leave the Paris Opera?”
“To leave ballet entirely. I just…” He holds the silence for a moment, lost in the fog of reminiscence, the mist of possible futures long since dissipated. Sighing, he shakes his head. “I couldn’t do it. So, in March, she went to Dubai, and I started making calls back to New York.”
“You broke up with her this year?”
“She broke up with me,” he clarifies, turning back to her. “It was all very romantic. I always left my comp at the box office for her. She didn’t come to my show, but she showed up at the stage door the day before she was set to leave, telling me that she had an extra ticket with my name on it. I turned her down.” And then he looks her in the eye as he says, “I don’t regret it at all.”
She swallows, her face flushing, tongue numb as she searches desperately for something to say to that. “Atlas, you said her family was? It sounds familiar.”
“Oh, you’re probably thinking of Zoe Atlas,” Percy says, easing off for the moment. “You probably know about her because she and Thalia were archenemies in boarding school. Or maybe girlfriends? I have yet to get a straight answer.” Annabeth’s eyes nearly bug out of her head. Thalia, in boarding school? What? “But I like Zoe. She’s an activist, and absolutely hates her father. Like I said, there’s a lot of dysfunction. And she came to my first show way back when, and she wasn’t even weird when I dated her sister when we ran into each other in Paris. So that was nice.”
“She went to your first show?” What in God’s name is up with these one-percenter families? It’s like they all overlap in one big incestuous slurry. And as the daughter of the Chases and the Pallases, she tries not to think where she might fit into that.
“Thalia brought her. Her first not-date. It was Thalia’s first ballet ever, too. It… it meant a lot.”
“What show was it?”
He smiles, wistful. “The Nutcracker. I was one of the kids at Clara’s party. Most scared I’ve ever been. When I got out backstage after intermission, Thalia was waiting for me with my mom. She punched my shoulder, called me ‘Kelp Head,’ and told me I did great. Then I hugged her,” he says, snickering. “She punched me again.”
Annabeth laughs, huffing through her nose. “Good to see some things never change.”
“That’s our Thalia for you--looking out for everyone, even when it kills her inside.” He glances at her pointedly.
It’s her turn to share.
Annabeth’s mouth is dry, like sandpaper.
She grabs her backpack, pulling out a sketchbook and a pencil. Beside her, Percy sighs, deflating a little.
Annabeth flips open a new page, and starts drawing.
Each sketch delivers a challenge: bringing order to the whole through design, composition, tension, balance, light and harmony. Sometimes, buildings spring to life on the page, fully formed. Sometimes the page stays blank, an empty pencil.
Pencil to paper. Letting whatever wants to come out, come out. “My mom invited me to lunch one day,” she says. Her eyes follow the line of her pencil, ninety degree angles and symmetrical shapes. “I had moved to New York like six months before. Single girl, in the big city, to follow her dreams.” She’d gone to boarding school in New York before that, but it wasn’t the same as picking out her apartment and taking the train to the Manhattan skyscraper her office was held in. Sometimes she’d walk down the street, feeling like she was smack dab in the middle of Sex and the City, which she and Piper use to watch in secret, huddled under the covers in the dorms at Miss Minerva’s. “Unfortunately, my mom didn’t love my dreams.”
“She didn’t approve of anarchist architecture?”
Annabeth’s laugh is hollow. “She thought I should have been charting some new path in business for a woman. But not in a feminist way. In, like, a capitalist way. But architecture was not really negotiable for me. And once that became clear, she had her own expectations about that, too.”
Annabeth has always been a prideful know-it-all. If all her mother had wanted from her was ambition, they probably could have made it work. Annabeth wanted to reshape the skyline, she wanted her name on buildings that would last and impress.
But even Annabeth couldn’t do that in six months.
“She wanted the best schools, the best companies, the best projects.” She sighs. “I was lucky to find a job in New York that wasn’t just carrying coffee.” She had gotten a bigger offer from a more well-known firm where she had interned one summer, but it had been for an assistantship, heavy on the assistant. Her eventual Junior Architect label hadn’t been great, but it had been something, being a rising star at a smaller firm. It seemed like a good fit. “I did not make my mother proud. I… she lived in New York, and I lived with my dad all over.”
Percy frowns. “Your mom didn’t have custody of you?”
“My mom didn’t want custody of me,” she laughs, bitter. God, it feels weird to tell someone else this. Piper and Leo and Luke knew, obviously, but they had witnessed it all firsthand. Telling someone else, out of the blue… Well, Percy had divulged his tragic backstory without complaint. It’s only fair that she does as well. “I mean, my dad didn’t either. But when it became clear my mom wasn’t an option, well, there we were. He stepped up as best he could. That wasn’t always a lot, but when compared to my mother, he seems like a perfectly involved parent.”
“Are you trying to make my parental situation seem more reasonable?”
“Is it working?”
“If you ever meet my dad, we can compare notes.” He shudders at the thought, playfully. “So, what happened with your mom?”
“She made her displeasure known.” Annabeth sighs again, shading a corner. “I mean, she’s always made her displeasure known. I wasn’t getting good enough grades, I wasn’t in the right activities, I wasn’t going to get into the right school, yadda yadda yadda. But for a long time… I don’t know, it at least seemed like she was worried about me.” She thinks of the Eta party, of the man in the brown suit, tutting about Athena Pallas’s druggie daughter, and scowls. “My mother has always had an all or nothing outlook. If I wasn’t the best, I might as well be nothing. But the thing was, this time I thought I was making real progress. And when she invited me to lunch after six months in the same city, I thought she would see that.”
She had not. Because to Athena Pallas, having a daughter who was an architect instead of an executive Vice-President on her way to CEO, having a daughter at a small but growing architecture firm instead of the best one in the country, was like having a daughter who was drunk in a gutter somewhere.
And Annabeth had realized as much that lunch.
All her work was never going to earn her mother’s love.
And suddenly, she wasn’t sure what work had been her’s and what had been her mother’s ambitions.
She’d started crying. In the cafe and right now, on Staten Island, with Percy. “I’m sorry,” she sniffs, wiping her nose on her arm. “Wow, I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay.” He reaches over and wraps an arm around her, gently, rubbing her shoulder, and she more or less crumples into his side. “It’s fine. Take your time.”
Her arm, still free, keeps moving. The drawing takes a shape that she can’t quite name yet. A tree, maybe, in a box. A window to another world, possibly. She spills tears on the paper.
“She disowned me.” Her thin line trembles, before righting itself. “I ran out of there. I stumbled into the first tattoo parlor that didn’t smell like piss, and got my owl done.” She brandishes her left arm, the grey shape blurry and faded against her elbow. She had had a stuffed owl as a little girl, her protector against the spiders in the closet. “I cut off my hair, got my eyebrow pierced, found a club, and just… had a rough couple of days. Got really really drunk that night.” Like, too drunk. Crying on the floor of a filthy bathroom drunk. “Thalia found me under the bathroom sink, took me back to her place, helped me kick the hangover the next day, and that was that.”
“I’m sorry.”
“I’m not,” Annabeth says. And most of the time, she isn’t. She wipes her eyes, smudged makeup getting smudger.
“Your mom sounds like she sucks.”
“She does.”
“What about your dad?”
She sniffs. “What about him?”
“You just haven’t really mentioned him. What’s he like?”
Shrugging, she wipes a tear from her cheek. “He’s a history professor.”
“And?”
“That’s about it.”
“I mean, do you like him?”
She shrugs again. “Sure.” There was a lot to like about Frederick Chase. “I haven’t really spoken to him in a while.”
Mouth in a sympathetic twist, he brushes the curls from her eyes, a gesture so sweet it makes her heart pound. “You should call him,” he says. “I’m sure he misses you.”
Her phone burns in her pocket, heavy with the weight of unread texts. “Maybe.”
“Do you want to change the subject?” he asks.
“Please,” she blurts out, digging the heels of her hands into her eye sockets. “God, please. Let’s go back to your cute backstory. Tell me more about your first ballet. I want to hear all about the time you were in the Nutcracker.”
Percy fishes out a napkin from somewhere, handing it to her. Grateful, she blows her nose into it, wet and disgusting. “I hate to tell you this,” he says, “But I have been in the Nutcracker, like, fifteen times.”
“Seriously?”
“Seriously,” he nods, “It's the big moneymaker. Have you ever seen it?”
“It's a holiday classic,” she scoffs, a little wetly. “Of course I’ve seen it.”
He snorts. “Like, for real, or the recorded one they play on Netflix with Macaulay Culkin?”
“I've seen it live! My dad lived in San Francisco when I was in high school. They have a fancy ballet there.” She’d seen it as a little kid in NYC, she thought, too. Maybe when her parents were still married, or her mother was still willing to take her for Christmas.
“Would you be willing to see it again?”
“Like, for real,” she parrots back at him, “or the recorded one they play on Netflix?”
“Ha ha. I mean for real.”
“I mean… maybe if they switched things up a bit.”
“It's a classic!” He protests. “I mean, it isn’t like we do the Balanchine everywhere, every time. But… it's a classic.”
“I’m sure the dancing is fine.” Annabeth says. She remembers going with Luke in Boston and thinking it was nice, but also hoping Luke would kiss her at the end of the night, so she hadn’t really paid attention. “But they get to design a land of magic and sweets and fairies, and every time the costumes and the sets are just, like, pink glitter and white gauze mixed with weird racial stereotypes. There’s no imagination.”
“Well, okay then.” There’s something in his smile, in the turn of his head that she can’t quite identify. “What would you do?” he challenges.
She holds his gaze for a moment, looking into those eyes that almost reflect the color of the sea around them. Her eyes feel a little puffy still, but he doesn’t look away. Then, without breaking away, she flips open a new page in her sketchbook.
“Space,” she says. “It needs space.”
“Outer?”
“Negative. Lots of space for dancers to move around.” Her pencil scratches over the paper, familiar blocky shapes springing to life. Doric fluted columns split the wings, because of course. “It’s Christmas, so we want color: no sterile, snowy landscape. We know it’s all frozen over--we don’t need to see it again. Obligatory Christmas tree here,” she sketches a crude triangle off to one side, approximately along the golden ratio, “and a big fireplace in the center, preferably a functional one.”
“You know there was this dancer in the nineteenth century that died because her costume caught fire, yeah?”
Annabeth tilts her head, capitulating. “Fair point. We’ll raise it up on a pedestal, keep it out of the way.” She draws a little platform beneath it. “But color is key.” Up above, she draws a pediment crowning the proscenium. She scribbles in the empty space, a placeholder. “Everyone knows the story, so you lay it out up here, episodes merging into each other from start to finish.”
Percy peers down at her page, his chin perilously close to resting on her shoulder. She can’t draw like that. “Kind of reminds me of the Parthenon.”
“You’ve been?”
He nods, his hair tickling the side of her face. “Couple of times. I thought you said you wanted color, though. The Parthenon’s all white, isn’t it?”
“Not originally,” she says. “Do they not explain that on the tours?”
“Um…” Sheepish, he looks away. “I, uh, I’m not always great at listening.”
God. It’s so endearing. What the hell. She kisses him on the cheek, enjoying the way he flushes lightly. “Me either.” He is so fucking handsome. “But no, the original Parthenon, all those white statues, they were painted. Ergo, color.”
He blinks, momentarily stunned. “Wouldn’t--uh, wouldn’t that distract from the dancers? People would just be staring at the ceiling.”
“Then… it’s only lit up before and after the show. During the show, you turn the lights down, bring the focus back down onto the stage.” She considered it. Something she’d worked on for a production once, a fashion show Piper had done at Pratt. “Or, you set it up so the colors are mostly lights. Lights that shine through during the snowflake dance and when Clara rides off with the prince. But then you also get the white for the frosted look. But, they’re still too pink, so I don’t think some color variety is bad.”
“So, not to kill your vibe,” Percy says, pulling back a bit, “but I gotta say, I don’t see how this is that different from the billion other Nutcrackers out there.”
She glares, lips pursed. He’s trying so hard not to laugh. Dick. “The set is only half the problem,” she says. “You'd need to redesign the costumes, too.”
“Tell you what. Why don’t you come see my show in December, and then you can tell me all about how you’d fix it.”
“Me and every tourist in New York at Christmas time?”
He nods, like he was expecting it. “Then come to my current one. September isn’t Christmas, so it’ll be a lot less crowded.”
“I don’t know,” she grimaces, sketching a star in the corner of the page. “I don’t really think I’d fit--'' Fit in with those people like the ones from the Eta awards, who thought not being her mother’s lackey was the same as being in rehab.
“Annabeth.” Percy takes her drawing hand, lifting it off the page entirely. The pencil is caught between them, an ineffectual barrier to the sweet, rubbing thumb on the mound of her palm. “I want you to come to my show. I’ll leave you a ticket. No one will care what you look like, I promise.” He stares at her, baby seal eyes in full effect.
Fuck.
“As long as you leave me a ticket,” she says, weakly. “I mean, I wouldn’t be able to afford a good seat.” The lie slips out, easy as anything. She can’t help it.
He smiles, soft and warm and way too inviting. “And in the meantime,” he says, softly,
you can come with me tonight.”
“Tonight?”
“I’m going to my parents’ for dinner. It’ll be just my mom, Paul, and my sister. They’d love to meet you.”
“I can’t,” she replies, immediately, almost without thinking. “I’ve got--I’ve got work to do.”
She doesn’t. But boys don’t bring girls like Annabeth home anymore. She isn’t meant to settle down. She’s meant for grimy bars and ship yards. She'll leave it to the princesses to be brought home.
He deflates, just the slightest bit. If she hadn’t had so much up and personal time with his naked chest and the movement of his shoulders, she probably would have missed it. “Maybe next time, then?”
“Yeah,” she agrees, not entirely certain if she means to follow through. “Maybe next time.”
#ballet au#percabeth#pjo#the rivalry ends here#darkmagyk#perseannabeth#byima#uhhh whoever else#my fic#pjo fic#look at them having a real conversation and then immediately blowing it
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