do you guys know how to get rid of Albert
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monsters aren’t born.. their created…
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Raph: Aww, look at the little baby!
Chompy: *cute roaring*
Raph: And now look at the big baby!
Slash: W A H
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Pepper: remember that meeting starts in 3 hours tony, so you better be back
Tony: No.
Pepper: Tony. You will be present at this meeting.
Tony: I am not above slashing my own tires to avoid this meeting.
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Dad Jokes
Phantom: Hey Rain, how does a non bianary person kill people?
Rain: mm? how?
Phantom: THEY / THEM!
Rain: *throws closest item to him*
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AU where Zuko joins the GAang after Azula attacked Iroh when they all cornered her in that abandoned Earth Kingdom town (Episode “The Chase”). Zuko yells at Katara to leave them alone, but Sokka reasons with him that it’s a bad idea with Azula and her friends still on the run, without supplies or shelter and Zuko obviously having no idea how to treat Iroh’s injury.
He notices that Zuko looks quite like a shadow of his former self - skinny and pale and as if he’d break into tears any minute. He also got rid of this stupid ponytail – short, dark hair covers his head now. He looks just human and that doesn’t sit right with Sokka, because it makes him feel sorry for Zuko.
Plus, the enemy of my enemy… it’s just logical to offer help to Zuko and Iroh, he reasons with himself.
They find a hide-out for the night and Zuko doesn’t leave Katara out of his sight, while she does her healing session. Iroh doesn’t awake right away, but Sokka reassures him several times that everything will be fine and that Katara would never pretend to heal somebody and then hurt them.
Zuko offers to do the first watch. They don’t light a fire, because even though they brought some distance between themselves and that abandoned town neither of them wants to risk being found by Azula again.
It’s quite a chilly night and it occurs to Sokka that firebenders thrive with warmth and the sun, so he comes to the conclusion that Zuko must be horribly cold. Sokka himself is not so bothered by the cool air - he grew up at the South Pole, he is used to the cold. But he doesn’t want to be held responsible for Zuko catching a cold and the former prince looks like he’s been through hell and back. Plus, the firebender pulled his knees close to his body and wrapped his arms around them. Zuko is not shaking, but to Sokka it’s obvious that he’s not doing well. It’s not going to be pleasant, but Sokka makes a decision. Zuko needs the blanket more than he does.
So Sokka gets up and walks over to Zuko holding the blanket out to him.
“Here, you must be cold.”
Zuko stares at him in complete disbelief.
“Uhm… are you serious?”
“Yeah, yeah, don’t make a fuss. You’re a firebender, you need to stay warm.”
“I’m a firebender. I don’t need a blanket to keep myself warm.”
Visible confusion shows on Sokka’s face and he feels like he’s just made a fool of himself in front of Zuko.
“But I thought…”
Zuko takes a deep breath and when he exhales a little flame comes out of his mouth.
Sokka thinks he’s never seen anything this hot in his entire life.
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Tony: Why are you fucking me with your eyes?
Stephen: Because I want to fuck you with my dick, but it's polite to ask first.
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[The Turtles and Mutanimals have gathered for a big group meeting]
Raph: *walks in and sits on Mona Lisa’s lap*
Everyone: …
Leo: Why are you sitting there?
Raph: There’s no free seats!
Slash: But we made sure there was enough room for-
Mona Lisa, hugging Raph tightly: There are no free seats!
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