#she absolutely uses this to be an irresponsible shit sometimes though and needs calling out
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I like that my ttrpg character who has zero personal qualms hurting people is the one who comprehends that punitive justice is bullshit. Because she has to think more about that sort of thing.
#the keeper scriptures#oc: violette de camille#she absolutely uses this to be an irresponsible shit sometimes though and needs calling out
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here is a lil event starter call! under the cut is a lil blurb about what each of the idiots is up to and what powers they got! no cap, just make sure you let me know who the starters are for!
abi mckinnon ( supernaturally terrible luck ) - marina mckinnon, maddie mckinnon
look abi’s luck is already not great? this isn’t really a huge deal to her honestly. she’s just going to be extra prepared for bad things to happen and simply continue existing as if nothing happened
ahsoka tano ( controlled telepathy and psionics ) - leia organa, obi wan kenobi, kirei monsula, anakin skywalker, padme amidala, han solo
she’s going to be a complete menace, poking into people’s heads and being a complete nuisance about having access to peoples minds and will be using this to keep the skylo fam out of trouble. imagine you’re trying to sneak out and you just hear ‘sit the fuck down’ in your head. it’s ahsoka. she’s coming for you have fun
allana solo ( shadowsinger abilities ) - sella palpatine, jaina solo
allana’s having a great time, she likes being able to be sneaky and even teleport herself? she’s having a fun time. will probs jokingly offer to spy on people for money
anastasia romanova ( magic via song )
this is totally fine by her? she loves music and just being able to sing magically well sounds like a great fucking time. and making flowers grow is just a bonus
ariana dumbledore ( force sensitivity ) - ben solo
girl is already not mentally stable with five senses, she did not need a sixth that tunes her in to much more detailed shit. she is enjoying not having her obscurus though, that’s great, and she is totally fine with this current arrangement if she no longer has her murder magic
bellatrix black ( transmutation ) - regulus black
she’s fucking pissed. her magic is gone and all she can do is turn things into other things? bella is absolutely furious at this and will be fighting with anyone who even looks at her weird in the next few days
cassie lang ( superspeed ) - theo raeken
she’s just gonna be zooming around, because she is a teenager who uses her own superpowers irresponsibly sometimes and these aren’t even hers, so she’s going to enjoy herself and have a blast
clary fray ( spiderman powers ) - isabelle lightwood, magnus bane
clary is canonly a comic nerd and is losing her absolute mind at being spiderman. catch her climbing up buildings and trying to lift stupid heavy shit as much as she can, because she’s literally thrilled at this entire thing
darcy lewis ( water manipulation )
who allowed darcy to have powers holy shit. she’s way too irresponsible for this shit and will absolutely be yeeting herself around the city on water pads because this is way too fun
davina claire ( dog animagus ) - klaus mikaelson
she’s honestly a bit neutral on the whole thing? she doesn’t use her magic for too much in washington, so it’s not like she’s losing anything, and honestly, being able to turn into a dog at will is pretty much exactly the fun, silly kind of magic she would have wanted as a kid
elphaba thropp ( pain illusion )
she’s absolutely horrified at this shit. the idea that she can make someone feel that much pain by thinking too hard is absolutely not the vibe and she will be trying very hard not to use it at all
feyre archeron ( telepathy and foresight ) - omega archeron, rhysand
this is fine with her? she’s never really been dependent on her powers at all, but she wants to have something so she can protect her kids if she needs to, so as long as she can still do that she’s totally fine with the whole situation
hallie parker ( shapeshifting )
umm... she’s already a menace to society that will not change now that she can make herself look exactly like another random person, i’m very sorry to anyone who has the misfortune to deal with her during this
howl jenkins pendragon ( telepathy ) - sophie hatter
howl is... not really thrilled by this whole thing. his own head already has too many thoughts, and now he has to listen to everyone elses? no no no. not a good idea, he does not want this can he have a refund please
jaime lannister ( telekinesis ) - myrcella baratheon, brienne of tarth
jaime will simply be ignoring that this is happening, and as a result will probably accidentally move shit when he gets more emotional
james potter ( alchemy ) - marlene mckinnon, helga hufflepuff
this really isn’t all that different from magic? and he’s intrigued by the idea of new cool ways to do shit. will also probably be trying to find out how to use it properly because he’s like a kid in a candy store rn
jin zixuan ( unaffected )
he has been here all of three days and this shit is happening? man is stressed but very happy that he simply does not have to deal with it honestly
jeyne westerling ( snow and ice manipulation ) - kevin keller
jeyne is having fun with this, honestly. she’s always been fascinated by the idea of magic, so she’s really just going to be playing with her newfound abilities and seeing what kind of pretty things she can make
korra ( fae magic ) - asami sato
korra is kind of annoyed that she can’t bend anymore, especially because she worked so hard to get airbending?? but the idea of shapeshifting and flying is very cool to her, so this is kind of a good compromise if she has to lose her bending
lan wangji ( geo archon abilities ) - lan jingyi, jiang yanli
wangji is really debating spending the next week in his newfound little lizard form, just chilling somewhere and ignoring all of his problems and responsibilities. he’s having a terrible time and sunning himself on a rock sounds absolutely great right now
lumine ( mediumship and evocation ) - amber, zhongli, albedo
lmao she is freaking the fuck out. girl doesn’t even know magic actually exists and now she is literally seeing dead people that shit is horrific. someone help her pls
lyanna stark ( shapeshifting ) - rhaegar targaryen
she really has never had any desire to any sort of magical powers, but she is a little bit curious about what the extent of her shapeshifting is, so she might experiment a bit, but not too much
marinette dupain-cheng ( fire feet ) - aloth corfiser
she’s not having fun at all. girl is so so clumsy, and now her feet are literally flaming and it’s only gonna get worse for her now. she may light something on fire by accident
mj jones ( magic and exorcism ) - evie grimhilde
witch mj is ready to fuck shit up she has lowkey wanted superpowers for a hot minute and this is??? very cool. she’s having an absolute blast
mya stone ( miracles ) - jeyne poole
lmao mya has literally never once wanted any power and now she has a decent amount? she does not want it put it back where it came from thank you
nie mingjue ( orbing, telekinetic orbing and hovering ) - nie huaisang
man will simply be orbing tf away from his problems because he is a tired old man and wants a rest. the ability to simply vanish from a conversation is one he has wanted for a very long time and now he has finally achieved his one true dream
renesmee cullen ( chlorokinesis ) - edward cullen
nessie’s living her best life right now fam. she will be sitting in her front yard growing all kinds of flowers and plants and simply becoming the flower child she has always wanted to be
rose weasley ( levitation )
this is... really nothing super special for rose? she’s played quidditch being off the ground is nbd, so she’s just gonna be vibing to be honest
sheev palpatine ( unaffected )
even magic doesn’t want to touch this man lmfao. he’s watching the chaos with popcorn
shen qingqiu ( mood altering ) - luo binghe, shang qinghua
honestly...... the irony of qingqiu being the one who needs his mood altered the most getting the ability to do it to other people.... he’ll probably just be using it to diffuse whatever fights he inevitably gets himself into tbh
thanatos ( complete power loss ) - zagreus
than is PISSED. he is a completely normal mortal man and he absolutely hates it with every fiber of his being. he has never wanted to be mortal, and now that he is he absolutely hates it and will be sulking more than usual
ty lee ( telekinesis )
ty lee is vibing lmao. she will absolutely be using her telekinesis for literally everything because why would she not? she’s never going to walk over and pick something up if she doesn’t have to
wanda maximoff ( druid abilities ) - jay halstead, vex’ahlia de rolo
she can heal people instead of hurting them this is literally her dream fuck her chaos magic she keeps breaking reality she wants to vibe with her plants and maybe help some people out
wen qing ( emotionally controlled telekinesis ) - wen ning, katniss everdeen, jiang yanli, steve rogers
this has the potential for very bad vibes lmao wen qing tries to shove her emotions down but she is not good at it and will probably accidentally blow something up good luck dc
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Okay I just wanna say that I really love your writing!!! Hope you and chimmy are doing well! Can I request a drabble with merman tae and y/n's a human and they're childhood besties and tae likes her but she's a dumb little bean. I just realised how many 'ands' are in that sentence. If you don't like it then...ahem know that I still love you!!! 💖💖💖
pearl of mine
pairing: taehyung x y/n
wordcount: 5k
glimpse: merman!tae is the reason why tourists can’t find any more shells and pearls in the shore, y/n owns more beach houses than deduction skills, and concierge!yoongi’s the hero :D // gif from pinterest
notes: are u kidding me baby i love it AND you!!!! chimmy barks his regards <3
“hmm? where’s barnacle boy?”
alright there goes your peace and quiet
it’s very nice to know that where yoongi is, translates to meaning that all your peaceful thoughts automatically aren’t there
if he’s not manning the concierge, it means he’s there keeping you company!!
annoying you
your ten minutes of bliss of just having your calves dipped into the water is interrupted now but it’s ok!!
after all, yoongi’s ur right-hand man anyways!! he’s the one who keeps track of everything and you’re so close to convicing your dad to put him in the family will too
you can’t manage your family business all by yourself!! how exactly are you gonna manage fIVE of the hotels that your parents have put under your care by yourself
five of the seventeen hotels that your family owns..,.,.,
（；＿；）
your dad gives you tOO much trust and he believes in you like actually a lot
a lot more than you could ever trust yourself tbh
he doesn’t want you to take charge only when he retires or dies!! you’re his little dove and he wants you to be as immersed in your family’s group of companies
it’s generous but of course it’s hectic
which is why you’re spearheading the handling of the actual main hotel he’s put under you!!
and the rest of the less major ones, you’ve had to go through a long and tedious process for so you could find an actual trustable manager and supervisor that wouldn’t commit embezzlement and-
yoongi’s about to scare you again by nudging your lower back with his foot, but you’re ahead of him when you nip his ankle with your nails
“... it’s mermaid man.”
he scoffs out a laugh because what was supposed to be a teasing nudge for your friend that’s clearly nOT human, turned to your joke instead of his
he doesn’t need to look at his watch to know what time it was by then bc he’s practically memorized the skies and the tide at this point
every 5:20 in the afternoon, you and taehyung would meet here!!
you come outside at exactly 4:50 to give yourself some leeway into preparing whatever you’d be giving him or rather, pestering yoongi what you think you should give him for that afternoon
it doesn’t necessarily have to be grand! on most days you just make him waffles without the crusty edges (he likes it the most when it’s so hot that it was still soft and jiggly) and the filling would be whatever food he hasn’t tried yet
.... basically.......... almost everything
but now it’s 5:23 and he could tell with how the water didn’t settle to the wooden platform as well as it did when it was 5:20
yoongi could actually TELL the difference because he’s seen you do this for the four years he’s been working here
the hotel had three wings — the shore wing, the balcony-sturdy-treehouse-type of wing, and the cabana wing
you bounce all around the place because naturally, you aRE the boss here, but afternoons really were just reserved for the cabana wing
where there’s a staff cabana by one of the wooden paths that lead to it, and one specifically reserved for you and probably yoongi now lmao bc he wouldn’t take a nap anywhere else
it’s you just sitting by the deck of your cabana that houses your too-expensive waffle maker, and a cozy blanket then deck pillows outside where you lay when taehyung’s there perched by the wood
you easily have three plates always, and yoongi just goes a lil bit soft that you let him intrude your routine with the merman
but today, all that highLy seems unlikely
“he’s totally not coming,” he exaggerates all in one breath, not having the decency to wait bc he’s stuffing his cheeks full with waffles
everything’s a hit or miss with mermaid man anyways and yoongi would rather nOT try his adventures of waffles with buttered rice in between no thank u
so that’s why he’s sticking with his trusty s’mores waffle!!! :D
put chocolate spread in between while it’s STILL in the pan, then tiny little marshmallows with crushed graham crackers and 10/10 u will see heaven
he gets crumbs on your sundress and you barely even grimace because you’re used to yoongi and all his yoongi-ness at this point
“yes he is! we’ve been doing this everyday without fail for like, twelve years already.”
you know what.,.,., maybe even longer than twelve years
this one’s marked on your calendar you can just SNIFF it
what you distinctly remember is your dad picking you up from school then suddenly deciding that he’ll teach you the ropes
you knew what everything was coming to because suddenly, you’d take your daily after-school snacks at the hotel
and then your weekends were slowly merging into memorizing names and amenities
... and then sitting by your dad’s chair with a juicebox when he had meetings
then before you even realize, you’re managing five hotels under your name and a particularly large one mainly
it was when you’ve had a suckish day at school because you cannot seem to just gET the multiplication table of 7 and your dad’s chasing after you again so you could get to see the fire escape plans as “fun little puzzles!!”
ya know what maybe you should go outside
it didn’t exactly click into your young mind that holy shit your family’s LOADED
all you knew was that people greeted you left and right even if you didn’t know them and you’d always be offered stuff you didn’t even ask for :D
all you cared about was skipping by the cabanas but holding by the rope on the side bc what if you fell lmao
yet what did fall to the water beside you was your bracelet!!!
:((
a red, single-threaded, string bracelet from your wrist that must’ve gotten loose
it’s something you’ve never took off and the sheer panic in your mind was tOO HIGH
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
even before you could call out to your dad though, or any of the staff that would literally drop everything to help you, something just shifts in the water
it’s too quick for you to even decipher and the multiplication table of 7 would’ve been easier to figure out
the moment you crouch by the end of the deck was when you see it aGAIN
there’s this incredibly pretty boy that emerges from the water, only his shoulders up to his head peeking out
he most certainly didn’t look... from around here tho
your attention’s immediately fixated on your bracelet, the one on his mouth as he only tilts his head when you do the same, an eager squeal breaking him out
hold on
wait a second
you’ve seen this in the tv sometimes!!! they were uh creatures that liked being by themselves in the sea
lol which is basically every sea creature
but the narrator said something about them looking like humans???
AND BESIDES
you overhear your dad talking about them sometimes
AND THEN IT HITS
THE HANDSOME FACE!! THE SHINY PRETTY-
up and age???
opened etch????
how do u spell that again
THE TAIL!!! THE PRETTY TAIL LOOKING LIKE THING!!!
“o-oh!! you’re-...”
“t-taehyung...?”
the boy who looks like your age replies, looking unsure of himself yet didn’t want to disappoint you either
you meant merman but it’s okay!!
your hands retrieve the bracelet from his mouth, a little giggle at the complexity of the situation
he was completely sold at that
this was his first human!!! his first actual human interaction and it wasn’t really bad as what his brothers painted out to be
you and taehyung took off from then and ya know what,,, maybe you even start purposefully dropping things in the water if you feel a little impatient that he hasn’t peeked his head yet
and yes yes that’s a completely iRRESPONSIBLE thing and your dad stopped you before you could possibly throw out a whole backpack into the water
which was weird for him to look at because there’s absolutely no one he could see in the water
it was a routine that not one of you ever skipped on once!!
even if you were sick and tae thinks that it’s the most pathetic thing because he doesn’t EVER get sick??? sue him for having a cold because he’s in the water 24/7 yea
even if one was late and wouldn’t be able to see the other, there would be an item placed by the deck as proof that they were indeed there!!
tae sometimes leaves a random conch shell or even seaweed in the shape of a heart when he’s swamped with his arrangements
even if there’s a storm, which taehyung absolutely loves because the water’s all cold!!! and it gives him a fun little ride when the waves are all wonky
you leave out a lunchbox that’s snug in a fixed mailbox (you forced yoongi to attach it) by the side of the deck poles and that would count as your attendance
“yes he is! we’ve been doing this everyday without fail for like, twelve years already.”
you are totally UNBELIEVABLE
yoongi snorts, almost choking on his waffles with how hard he did it
“and you’re twelve years dumb.”
ok now you take offense
huh???
“what’s that supposed to mean?”
you can’t be any more clueless, can you??
as if on cue, there’s the familar flop and splash that you nudge yoongi to be in his best behavior
taehyung makes his afternoon appearance by outlandishly doing his trick in the air, undoubtedly giving you a splash you’re used to by now
he literally does not care at the thought of anyone possible seeing him
besides, they physically can’t anyway because there’s a spell cast onto the area, allowing nobody to see them besides you
... and yoongi ://
he’s rather grand with his gestures and his words and even before taehyung knew the common lingo on ground, you could tell he was a little more stubborn with his strong expressions
after all, taehyung’s a prince at sea but at land.,.,.,.
<3 well <3
“i’m here!”
taehyung bEAMS radiantly, making you crouch and hold out your hands, him putting his face out immediately for you to squish
“oh, oh! i got you something, y/n!”
he seems to remember out of the blue in the middle of chewing his waffles, yoongi having to suppress another sigh
the prettiest pearl necklace :-)
“tae i already told you that-...”
you’re about to start berating him again with the gifts because what seemed to be so ordinary for him is very fAR from yours
you pout and tae only pushes the necklce to you further, not taking no for answer when he had to squint his eyes extra hard to look for the pearls this morning
to be honest you have sO much jewelry from taehyung
the common theme of it was of course they’re something you could get at sEA
and whenever people ask you about them, u have no idea how to tell where you got them
today’s pearl necklace was a little different — something more dainty and smaller and wraps around your neck like a choker would, a little more suited for everyday wear
“thank you!!!”
you smooch taehyung on the cheek extra quick and it takes every fiber in his tail to stop squealing
yoongi watches you two be disgustingly sweet and PLATONIC yet again, and he could only zero in on the pearl necklace around your neck
that is the fifth time this week
that is the fifth set of pearls you’ve gotten this week
normally you’d get a pearl every now and then and the often minuature sand sculptures
but this week changes the wHOLE ball game
“do you want a pearl ring?”
taehyung wiggles his eyebrows, boxy smile on full display and he looks breathtaking in the golden hours that you immediately poke his cheek
yoongi’s eyes widen because that’s literally-
you don’t seem to find the weight on his question because you only let out a non-commital sound and whisk him away on another conversation about his day
he’s long since dropped out of yours and taehyung’s conversation, going back to the concierge because his presence is required
and he still can’t shake off how CLUELESS you are
it’s when the night gets a little more chilly and you could see taehyung go beneath the water more often, taking it as a sign that he’s going back and his brothers are looking for him
“night-night, tae.”
you offer the top of his head a kiss, rushing back to the cabana to put on your coat and right on time, you miss the way taehyung’s eyes are bigger than a goldfish’s
(@_@)
oh my god
oh my fucking god
taehyung really hATES you
he hates you so much!!!!
SO SO MUCH
he resigns back into the water and he doesn’t even move at all
just defeatedly sits on the seabed and his aura effectively puts off everything around him
his heart’s beyond heavy and his eyes sting and he never wants to resurface ever again
he’s trying not to get upset too much because his emotions have the capacity of changing the tide and it would literally resonate through the seas if he gets even more sad
taehyung’s trying to rEPRESS everything back in but it’s no use :((
“hey, hey, calm down. what’s wrong?”
his brother immediately swims to his side at the first slight tremor he felt, having only little trouble in locating him
“i-i asked y/n if she wanted a pearl-...” tae stutters and he has to physically hold his chest to not sOB at your name, an insurmountable feeling of dread at his chest
yeah, you! namjoon knows you
in fact all his brothers know you and you’ve met each other multiple times, but not as often as you and tae did
they don’t need to see you everyday to know that taehyung is head over tails in LOVE with you
the mention of you and their brother’s gifts in the same sentence isn’t anything new
“okay? but you give her pearls all the time? and-”
“... ring.”
oh
OH
pearl ring
“yeah? and what did she say?”
joon himself tries to quell the distress he feels because taehyung’s emotions are morE than potent to affect to everyone, most especially his brothers
he sees the others swimming to them from afar, worried frowns already on their faces and namjoon doesn’t want to panic even more
“nothing!! she said nOTHING!!!!”
jungkook tilts his head, cheeks puffed out as he tries to diffuse the situation
“but tae, it could mean-...”
“nothing. y/n absolutely wants nothing to do with me!”
taehyung half-huffs and half-sobs, immediately swimming past them that leaves them confused and with a headache
this was definitely going to be a problem
it already is
today has got to be the slowest day ever
the water is so still and timid
oh my god it literally just looks like tap water in a bathtub that’s untouched
you’ve noticed in the first thing in the morning
was it nORMAL to have the water so still???? practically no waves at all??? not even ripples????
you must be losing your mind right
you dragged yoongi from the concierge desk all the way outside
he squints his eyes because the water.... is definitely not supposed to be this way....
“huh. now that’s just odd.”
some of your patrons don’t seem to mind at all because that just means they could go take their pictures without waves putting their phones at risk
but nO
most especially the swimmers n the surfers and even the lifeguard are all ????
everyone’s collectively looking at the water
yoongi takes a twig and just pokes at it to go do ATLEAST something, but even the ripples it produces are mundane
the water is too still and it makes you miss the one who makes it all better
you spend the better part of your whole day in your sundress and hanging around the cabana, yoongi scrunching his nose up at the fact that he seemed to be more active than the actual hotelier here today
“taehyung doesn’t go up for another seven hours, y’know?”
he finds you sitting by the edge of the deck, feet vigorously splashing around the water without any resistance at all that it feels so unnerving
“yea i know that... just wanted to hang out with him.”
you murmur out the last part, making yoongs do a double-take at his boss who was never this soft-spoken
“and that’s what you’ve been doing ever since childhood? sit by the edge then hang out?”
he wants to push a couple of buttons to get you out of your phase of the day today, but he only gets some insistent nodding and nothing more
“that’s so mundane. that’s literally a decade-long routine!!”
“it’s a routine i don’t mind!!”
and that’s true
it’s a routine you want to do with the rest of your life because it now feels like the equivalent of showering basically
you feel so incomplete without it and satisfaction doesn’t settle on your bones until you do it with taehyung :D
“surely, there must be sOME reason for taehyung to not get bored from doing the same thing with you, right?”
alright one more nudge
you’re considerably more perky now that’s for sure
but that doesn’t mean any less clueless unfortunately
“must be the food!!”
oh my god,,,,,, u are so dumb
he leaves you alone and you don’t even question it because you’re too busy waiting for taehyung
you expect the tide to change when it’s already noon but really, nothing happens still
5:20 passes and he still isn’t there
it’s time for dinner and yoongi has to fetch you aLL the way from the other side of the wings he needed to supervised because you’re spending all your time waiting
you were supposed to have dinner with staff tonight but you don’t even think twice in telling him to go eat without you, giving the company card more than eagerly
“don’t you think it’s time to go home?”
yoongi pipes up when they’ve finished dinner and you’re still there
he feels so sorry for you :((
“w-what if he shows up last minute?”
there’s still hope in your voice and he doesn’t want to taint it as much as people
“hey. they need sleep too. you should go get some for yourself too, okay? now just leave a cookie or something,” he has to pry you off the deck himself, not wanting to feel any more sorry for you because you’re starting to tremble with how chilly the air is
taehyung doesn’t resurface the next day
or the next
and the day after that
taehyung doesn’t show up the entire week.
you’re worried OUT of your mind and you’re tempted to just take your dad’s yacht and sail across the water to try and look for him
or oR maybe you should get one of the divers to try and look for him!!!! but no that wouldn’t work, would it??
how about you go and look for tae yourself???
yoongi’s been busy with the hotel bc the actual hotelier of it (read: you) is too busy MOPING
you’ve ditched your sundresses and waited in hoodies and sweatpants you could roll up in the morning and roll down at night to wait for him
most people don’t even recognize you as the owner and they just walk rIGHT past you when they see you in the hallways
you’ve also been stress-making waffles that you reek of the batter and butter, the staff now having an abundance of experimental ones that you’ve made
you’re definitely not okay
“uh y/n you really rEALLY need to go to sleep.,.,”
yoongi gapes at you when he visits you at the cabana, clearing his schedule out to go watch over you and bc your dad won’t sit still with how unkempt you’ve been
he gestures to the hammock you’ve always begged him to put up, but his handiwork’s wASTED because you don’t even spend more than five seconds looking at it
you should be screaming with glee by now :((
how in the world could he possibly distract you from crushing sadness and worry
he’s been brainstorming the past week and his head’s even more hollow than the decorative coconuts in the gift shop
... wait a minute
hey this has got to be his most stupid idea but the one with the most promising results!!!!!
11/10 risky but it’s the cLOSEST he could get!!
“hey do you wanna do something stupid??”
your eyes glance at him immediately because it’s the first question he’s ever asked you besides if you’re okay or when was the last time you slept or when do you intend on picking yourself up
yoongi fishes for his tablet and whips up a video immediately, only taking minutes for him to explain and seconds for you to agree
it’s what made you end up this way
it’s the reason in your swimsuit with your legs all the way inside a duvet cover and the corners of it knotted tightly on your waist
you don’t know how yoongi’s managed to convince you to race him in swimming with your whole lower body inside a king-sized dUVET cover from one of the cabanas whose guests are arriving in an hour, but here you are lmao
“first one to the furthest cabana wins, alright?”
he practically yelps in explaining in an effort to hype you up and a hundred dollars dOES seem to make him excited himself
you’re buzzing for the first time in the week and it’s the panicked shoves you try to give each other before starting that kicks you off in an eager mood
“GO!”
you immediately dive in and you don’t expect the heaviness of your makeshift tail behind you, momentarily cussing yourself because wHY on earth did you get the high-quality ones smh ://
oh my god this is so fucking stupid and oddly enough, you’re ENJOYING it
you can’t exactly paddle your legs fluidly like the times when they aren’t wrapped in a duvet, and the distance of the last cabana seems so tiring now that u think about it
yoongi’s already ahead and you don’t get HOW has he managed to come that far???
also not to mention that the gap between the two of you is large and now you’re just struggling to even move
also doesn’t help oNE bit with how good of a handyman yoongi also is because that is one secure knot you got there sir
it’s only dawning in you that you’re NOT well-versed in swimming!!
not even close to an expert!!! all you know are the basics
but the basics seem hard to even apply when you’re dragging a king-sized duvet cover by your legs
you’d expect more skills from someone whose family owns water-centric properties bUT NO <3
you’re flailing almost to the bottom and your eyes sting then your limbs feel heavy
you’re not necessarily drowning either, it just feels so difficult to swim back up
you’re about to try again and boost yourself up by pushing from the floor but then suddenly you’re being HAULED BACK UP
you have no chance to even try and get away because you know that the hand around your waist aren’t yoongi’s
“are you out of your goddamn mind???”
you instinctively take a big gulp of air when you come up the surface, legs fluttering now that you have some type of support to keep you up
“why would you do this?? who did this??”
the deep voice only registers in you seconds later that it’s taehyung who’s in front of you and holding you up, staring you down intensely
your puzzlement only frustrates him even more, going back down while keeping his hands on your waist before he untangles the duvet cover by your legs rather quickly and powerfully
he emerges back up and he’s looking at you with sO much stress that you wanna dive back down
“y-yoo-...”
you don’t even manage to finish speaking before taehyung snaps his gaze away from you and really yELLS
“YOONGI!!!”
as if he didn’t manage to startle you enough, he looks back at you and pats at you all over out of instinct, wanting to know if you’re hurt by any means
you’re more shocked but it’s over the fact that you’re finally seeing him again
this isn’t the first time you’ve swam with taehyung but this IS the first time in this context
you’ve never been this close to him either and you’re out of breath just by looking at him
he doesn’t seem to share the sentiment though because he looks like he’s gonna pull his hair out in both relief and frustration
“oh my god! i fucking thought that my soulmate would die in a — i-in a bedsheet!”
you are so ridiculous that it actually makes his heart clench
he intentionally didn’t come to see you for a week because he was so hurt over your rejection
he did see you from a distance and he also has a particular someone to watch over you, but he never imagined that you’d be doing THIS
his heart just minutes ago was beating against his ribcage because his soulmate was in danger!!! he physically and literally cannot drown but that’s what it felt like
“i’m your soulmate?”
your breathless gasp explains it all
:O
oh so...
oh my god how could you have nOT known this all along???
HOW COULD YOU BE SO OBLIVIOUS
taehyung probably acted this way and most especially that way when he ignored you!!!
you vaguely remember yoongi telling you that pearls PROBABLY mean a lot to taehyung even if the tone he’s used on you is beyond certain
the pearl ring was meant for courting!!!
that explains why yoongi gasped and looked at you inrcredulously!!!!
no he’s been courting you ALL this time
you are so..... insuffeable
“i’m so sorry!!”
you’ve crammed in twelve years of experience into two minutes of critical thinking, throwing your arms around taehyung and burying your face into his neck
he grunts a bit at that but he’s not complaining at all
“you mUST hate me,” you frown and the need to cry overpowers you, taehyung sensing it again which is why he immediately strokes your nape in comfort
“i could never.”
the waves come back and even if they’re present, the water was calming
you’re too entranced with tae and your realizations to even notice that the water felt so much better compared to when it was dead still
it’s when you hear a familiar set of giggles that you sNAP your head in anger
yOONGI????
yoongi’s much more near you now, floating and floating until you make the move to look down and see not a duvet cover, but rather a tangerine-colored tail by him
all you’ve been doing this day is squeaking
tae, although still a lil bit mad at yoongi because he’s endangered you, smiles at his informant who’s helped make him last through the week
“half-merman!! i’m sorry if i didn’t tell you sooner, y/n. but since tae’s full, that’s the reason he could only come on land once a month! and since i’m half, i could only come underwater once a month!!”
he grins at his explanation he’s been trying to piece together for the last couple of months
ok maybe years
it probably explained to why it’s no accident that he’s clicked with you instantly and he trusts you with his whole life!! you were truly a gentle human that’s an all-rounder
also explains to why yoongi wasn’t all THAT shocked when you brought him out one day on his first year of working and pleaded taehyung to rise up with only even his eyes blinking up at him
no wonder tae warmed up to yoongi quick even if he did say he had distrust with majority of humans!!
how could you not doubt for one second that it’s the reason why he’s always been really good at swimming too and holding his breath
yoongi chose his day of the month to be today because you were so down in the dumps, and aLSO for the reasoning that he missed the boys so that’s why he’s going down there in a heartbeat
taehyung pinches at your thigh, a bright grin on your face when you come face to face with him after waving yoongi goodbye
“are you gonna make me wait another twelve years more?”
he pecks your cheek and it doesn’t feel platonic anymore, a giddy smile in realization that you’ve finally come to your senses
“would you mind?”
://
the teasing lilt in your voice doesn’t seem to go anywhere anytime soon hee-hee
“maybe a little but-“
“no more waiting.”
you kiss taehyung and almost launch yourself at him, savoring the taste of him on your tongue that he has to grip your thighs around his waist a little tighter
yeah ur a little slow but ur spirits are high!! you’re on the right direction!!
you’re definitely worth waiting for
and panicking over
and courting
and loving
:)
#feedback pls and thank u :D#taehyung#kim taehyung#taehyung imagine#taehyung imagines#taehyung drabble#taehyung drabbles#taehyung oneshot#taehyung oneshots#taehyung au#taehyung x reader#taehyung x y/n#merman!taehyung#taehyung fic rec#taehyung fic recs#taehyung x reader oneshot#taehyung angst#taehyung fluff#taehyung fluff imagine#AHHHHHHH PLS I HOPE THIS GOES WELL
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As a preface: no need to answer if you don’t feel comfortable with it,I know people sometimes don’t like these questions so no pressure if you’re one of them! Who likes kids, who would like to be a parent (if their partner also wanted that of course!), and who is good with kids? Thank you!
Well, firstly, thank you for your concern! I'm okay with these topics so long as it's not about me personally, so don't worry! That said, though, I'll put this under a cut since the topic might be uncomfortable for some people.
CW for: talk involving conception, infertility, pregnancy, miscarriage
Edited 5/16 - Changes to include more inclusive language. My apologies!
Since we're talking about the ROs and kids, let us talk about MC too for a sec.
It should be noted that it is typically challenging for a Seer to bear children/impregnate someone. The corruption that comes with their Void powers usually renders them infertile, or at least close to. However, it's not unheard of for a Seer to have children. Still, it usually results in a difficult pregnancy and can be dangerous to both the carrier and the child. Additionally, any child born from a Seer (either parent) would be Dream-touched.
That said, as we know, MC is a very special Seer. Canonically, their powers have not rendered them infertile, though their kid would still end up Dream-touched. However, I will be leaving it up to players to decide if their MC can or can't have biological kids for other reasons. And, obviously, adoption is also very much an option!
Now on to the ROs!
Mira
Mira likes kids well enough, and they're usually very good with them. They struggle a bit with dealing with noble children. Still, Mira's kind and empathetic nature tend to have children warming up to them regardless. They used to help take care of the young recruits back at the Order, both daily routine stuff and some training.
They would absolutely love to have a family one day, but it's something they kinda push to the back of their mind and try not to think about. Their lifestyle doesn't lend itself to the stability and safety necessary for raising children, considering they could be killed in action any day. They think it would be grossly irresponsible to have a family, then end up dead somewhere and leave them hanging. Mira was an orphan themself, and they know firsthand how hard life is for kids on their own. They have no desire to contribute to that lifestyle or put their own potential child through that.
If there ever came a time where they could lay down their weapons for good, though, then yes. They'd want to start a family in whatever way they could. Though not opposed to having biological children, both masc & fem Mira would prefer to adopt. Again, being an orphan themself, they would choose to take in a child. Mira would ideally like 2-3 kids so they can have a big family to grow old with, and they'd be a very supportive and doting parent. They'd probably struggle with discipline.
Nova
Children confuse the absolute shit out of Nova, and the way mortals procreate admittedly terrifies them. Nightmares are not born in the same sense that mortals are; they just kinda pop into existence fully formed. When Nova first learned about mortal procreation, they had a minor mental breakdown. The idea of another, smaller living thing growing inside someone strikes them as distinctly horrific. They've done their best to accept the idea at this point in their life, but mainly they cope with it by ignoring its existence. They see a pregnant person and basically go, 'suddenly I have no eyes.' Babies and children continue to confuse them despite their best efforts, and they have no idea how to interact with them. You put a child around Nova, and you're liable to hear them genuinely asking the kid why they are so small and dumb.
Nova's mortal body is also infertile by design. They chose this shortly after they realized they actually enjoyed sex and would do it again. They don't know if it would be possible for them to become pregnant/impregnate someone, considering they're not actually mortal. Still, they didn't want to risk it.
The only time Nova would consider starting a family is if it was something their partner(s) really, really wanted. They'd sit down and have an honest talk about how it's something that they know nothing about, that the process scares them, and that they are absolutely going to need help learning how to handle it all. But, if their partner is willing to accept all that, Nova would be willing to try. Though again, they don't know if they can procreate with a mortal, so they'd probably recommend going for a surrogate or adoption. Eventually, Nova'd grow into a good parent, very supportive, and surprisingly level-headed.
Stella
They don't have too much of an opinion on children, which shows in how they don't really know how to interact with them. Stella feels super awkward around kids, and they're more likely to tell them to shoo. Their own childhood has tainted their views, and being around children brings up things they'd rather not think about. Honestly, the fastest way to make Stella disappear is to put a child nearby.
Deep down, though, they like the idea of starting a family. It would take a lot of encouragement to get them to admit that. It'd take even more to help them process long-ignored family-related trauma and unlearn a whole lot of unhealthy habits. With the proper support from their partner(s), though, they'd really like to give things a try. Fem Stella wouldn't mind carrying a child. Still, both fem & masc Stella generally don't care if their kid is biological or adopted.
Stella would make for a very nervous parent, and they'd be absolutely terrible at discipline. They'd probably helicopter and be overprotective and would have to be reminded by their partner(s) that things will be okay.
Désiré
So a bit of history: Dez is one of the only two ROs who already has child-rearing experience. His best friend and second-in-command, Alix, was born and raised in the brothel with him. While he grew up to be an errand boy and bodyguard, she became one of the courtesans. He took up smuggling and worked his ass off to get them out of there, but unfortunately, Alix became pregnant before they could escape. Alix's son, Dimitri, was born in the cabin of the first ship Dez ever owned.
Alix eventually married Catarina, the crew's healer, who has acted as Dimitri's other mother. Thus, while Dez is 'officially' Dimitri's uncle, he has always been his only father-figure. Dimitri is 14 by the time of the game and is still a very active part of Désiré's life. You'll actually get a chance to meet him in-game since he's got a place on Dez's crew (he's the cabin boy)!
Now that history is managed, it's safe to say that Désiré would love to start a family one day. It doesn't matter to him how, though going the biological route, let it be known he's excellent at tending to pregnancy needs. He's a wonderful parent, generally gentle while supportive and encouraging, and is comfortable being stern when it's called for.
Vittore Simone
Sadly I can't get into the specifics of Vittore Simone's thoughts on kids and family without it becoming a spoiler. However, I can say that he vowed when he was young that he'd never have kids and has never thought of it since. Going forward, it would never be something that crossed his mind unless brought up by his partner and would be something he'd defensively refuse at first. Later, he'd come back with apologies and to have a more open conversation on the matter to express his reservations and fears.
Suffice to say that the idea of being a father absolutely terrifies him, and he has always taken great pains to avoid it ever happening. Even just the thought is enough to send him into panic attacks. His partner will need to be patient with him and accept that this is something he may genuinely never be able to do for the sake of his own health and any future child's. It would take a lot of time, reassurance, work, healing, support, and understanding before Vittore Simone ever agreed to give parenthood a shot. It will not be an easy road for him or his partner. It would likely be a road that never truly ends, and he'd need to be sure that they can both accept that without damaging their own relationship. He would try, though. He would do his damnedest. And, thankfully, there will never be any doubt that he genuinely does love his kid.
As a father, initially, he would constantly be terrified he was hurting his kid somehow. He would struggle with being overly permissive & overprotective at the same time. He's liable to have a panic attack any time the kid cries for the first several years. His partner will have to help him get through 'I'm a terrible father, this was a mistake' breakdowns periodically. Slowly, though, he'll build some confidence and be more comfortable interacting and expressing himself with his kid. He'll always be supportive, and he'll work his hardest to be sure his family knows he loves them unconditionally. His partner will have to accept the role of disciplinarian, though. That's never going to be something he'll be able to do on his own (but of course, he'll be there to support them in those conversations. He doesn't want to make them the 'bad guy' by any means).
Andrai
The other RO with child-rearing experience! Andrai has 15 younger siblings (yes, you heard me correctly) and absolutely adores them all. They're all grown now, but he loved taking care of them when they were little, and he still dotes on them whenever he can, in his own way. In general, he loves kids. He just thinks they're adorable. And, despite appearances, he's excellent with them. Kids love this man, they flock to him, and he has no problem with that. It confuses most onlookers.
The idea of starting his own family turns him to absolute mush. And, he'd love to, so so much. Adoption, biological, and surrogacy are okay with him. It would be up to his partner to limit exactly how many kids they have since Andrai would just say he wants them all. He makes an excellent dad, albeit quiet, and is unwaveringly supportive. He's comfortable with discipline and is the type to encourage self-assessing behavior. He's excellent at giving advice and genuinely just likes spending time with his kids and being involved in their lives.
He's probably not the one you would peg as the 'domestic bliss' type, but he absolutely is.
Vzridmi
She's very comfortable with kids since communal rearing is very common in ork communities, and she'd love to have a family one day. Some kids unused to orks might find her a bit intimidating just because of her size, but in general, children think she's fun to be around. She doesn't necessarily think about it too much, though, at this point in her life. It's not something she sees as being on the table for quite some time - she has research and exploration to be doing, after all.
Whenever she was ready to settle down for a family, she'd be comfortable with carrying a child herself, surrogacy, or adopting. She would really like to have at least one biological child if possible, though. She would make for an entertaining mother, excited about her child's life and ever-supportive of their interests and pursuits. She's comfortable with all the aspects of child-rearing. Still, She would definitely need her partner's advice if they ever discovered their kid was dealing with bullying. She'd need to be reminded by her partner not to be overprotective - she's not above threatening others with her war-hammer if they upset her baby.
#none of the ROs would be bad parents and they'd all love their kids#but some will definitely need more time adjusting than others#Anonymous#answered#TTO: Main Tag#TTO: Lore#TTO: Answers#TTO: RO Asks#Mira Twilight#Nova Dreamreaver#Stella#Désiré Desrosiers#Vittore Simone Armati#Andrai Freestrider#Vzridmi Ri'kho've#pregnancy cw#infertility cw#miscarriage cw
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AUs: day 2 of @starrynightdeancas 's 2k followers celebration ✨ (ao3)
I didn't know what I wanted to do for this AU prompt so I had @vaxilddan send me a random job and @pixelhanzo send me a random trope and thus the monstrosity "dog groomer + enemies to friends to lovers" was born
(wc: ~1700)
The little bell above the door dings right as Castiel hangs up the phone. Mrs. Tran is running a little late picking up her golden retriever, Alfie, but she assures Castiel that she'll be there soon. He doesn't mind much; Alfie is a polite dog, and he's been napping quietly in the corner while Castiel tidies up his grooming salon for the last twenty minutes. The front door closes loudly, causing the bell to ding again, and he looks up to see a tall man walking through the door with a scruffy ball of fluff tucked under his arm.
The man might be handsome if he didn't look so exhausted. Strong, stubbled jaw, sandy hair, green eyes… exactly Castiel's type. But the deep purple circles under his eyes make it look like the man hasn't slept in a week. He doesn't get a good vibe from the guy.
Castiel frowns slightly. Alfie was supposed to be his last appointment of the day. He glances down at his schedule, seeing nothing after Alfie. They do take walk-ins, but he was hoping to close up early. Business is business, though, so he pastes his customer service smile on his face.
"Hello, sir. How can I help you?" Castiel greets as the man reaches the desk.
"Hey, uh, you guys do nail trims right?" the man asks as the fur under his arm wiggles.
Castiel eyes the dog warily. It's filthy and matted. He can't even see its eyes. "Just a nail trim?" he asks, unable to stop the skepticism from dripping into his voice. He's trying not to judge, but if he just does a nail trim, this dog is going to leave his salon looking like it's never had a bath in its life.
"What?" The man looks up, surprise in his now wide eyes. He glances down at the dog and grimaces. "I guess she is pretty dirty. Do you have time for a bath? Or I could make an appointment for another day if you're busy?" He sounds unsure, looking around Castiel and probably noticing Alfie, who is awake now and watching the new arrivals.
"No, Alfie there was my last appointment for the day and he's just waiting to go home. I have time to do a bath." He watches the little dog wiggle even more, desperately trying to free itself from under the man's arm. "Who is this?" Castiel asks as he comes around the counter to get a better look at it.
"This is Baby. She's a, uh, pomchi," he replies, moving the dog to grip her under the arms, holding her out in Castiel's direction like she's a bomb. Castiel raises an eyebrow. The combination of dog breed and name don't exactly match this guy's rugged appearance, but he's heard weirder so he shrugs it off.
"Hello, Baby," Castiel says, reaching forward to pat her on the head. His hand snaps back immediately when the dog starts snarling.
"She's a little nervous around new people," the man says sheepishly.
Castiel frowns. He's seen a lot of nervous dogs, and they don't normally react quite this angrily. "I'll just go grab a leash for her." He grabs a clipboard from the desk and hands it at Dean. "Please fill this out."
He sends the man — Dean, according to his paperwork — on his way five minutes later with a promise that he'll call as soon as Baby is ready.
And that's how Castiel meets his least favorite dog grooming client.
Dean brings Baby into Castiel's grooming shop about once a month. She is absolutely, without a doubt, the meanest dog he's ever met. He's taken to muzzling her the moment Dean is out the door because he nearly had his hand ripped off one too many times during her first visit. She snarls and snaps and honestly just looks pissed the entire time she's there. And while she seems slightly more comfortable with Dean, he's caught the dog snarling at her owner a few times too. The dog is tiny, barely six pound soaking wet, but she's pure, concentrated evil.
This dog clearly got no training or proper socialization. He blames her Dean for that. He has no patience for irresponsible owners.
After six months of grooming the literal devil, Castiel finally decides to confront the guy. He doesn't care that it's unprofessional. He doesn't even care if he loses a client or gets a bad review. He's sick of this entitled dick bringing his asshole dog in. Baby has been snarling at him under her muzzle for a full hour, even now that he's completely done with her grooming and she's sitting in the bed in the corner. She sits and glares at Castiel, murder in her eyes. Castiel glares right back at her, and when the bell above the door dings, Castiel shifts his glare to the man walking in.
"Hi, I'm here to pick up B— woah, are you okay, dude?" Dean clearly takes in his glare and stops dead in his tracks, only making it halfway to the front desk.
"Your dog," Cas grits out through clenched teeth, "is the devil incarnate." He knows the anger is clear in his voice. He waits, eyes still fixed on Dean.
"I, uh," Dean stammers, hand rubbing the back of his neck, "I know she's a pain in the ass, but look man, I'm doing my best." He's looking at the floor now.
"I have to muzzle her. She's been snarling at me nonstop for an hour," he almost yells. He points behind him at the dog, not taking his eyes off Dean. "She's still snarling at me! I haven't touched her in fifteen minutes!" The dog growls slightly louder in the background, as if to prove Castiel's point.
Dean looks up, eyes wide. He looks horrified, and Castiel is actually starting to feel a little guilty. "Look, Cas, I'm really sorry, I had no idea. I can start taking her somewhere else. I'm not really a dog person—"
Castiel cuts him off. "Why the hell do you have a dog then?" He can tell that he's being too harsh, but he's just so angry.
The look on Dean's face shifts from embarrassed to sad. "She belonged to my neighbor. She passed away about six months ago, right before I started bringing Baby in to see you. She was always a little uneasy around people, but she seemed okay with me when I visited. That's why Mildred made me promise to take care of her when she was gone, but without Mildred around, Baby completely hates me." He looks Castiel in the eye, finally, eyes pleading. "I'm trying so hard to train her, but she's already eight years old and so, so stubborn. I have no idea what I'm doing."
And all of a sudden Castiel feels like a piece of shit.
He learns a lot about Dean in the next few months, and it turns out the guy isn't so bad now that Castiel doesn't feel obligated to hate him. He brings Baby in more frequently now that winter has come; apparently Baby makes a habit of walking through muddy, slushy piles of snow. Baby still hasn't warmed up to him, but he's more willing to work with her now that he feels guilty for yelling at a guy who was just trying to do the right thing.
Castiel and Dean start chatting more and more whenever Dean drops her off and picks her up, lingering a little longer with each visit. The conversation usually centers around Baby, but Castiel has learned a little bit about Dean's life as well. Dean clearly cares about Baby, even though the dog looks at him like she might kill him at any moment.
Castiel is starting to consider him a friend when Dean asks if he can help train Baby.
"I'm not a dog trainer, Dean," Castiel says, feeling sorry for the words when he sees the look in Dean's eyes. Disappointment.
"I know, but, and you're not gonna believe this, she likes you better than she likes almost anyone else," Dean says, holding up his hand when Castiel opens his mouth to protest. "I swear, it's true. And you're actually a dog person, so I thought maybe…" He sighs loudly. "You don't have to."
Cas takes in a deep breath. He ignores Baby growling behind him and says, "I'll do it."
The bright smile that breaks across Dean's face makes it instantly worth it.
That's how Castiel finds himself at Dean's house every Friday night after work. Baby actually is a little more bearable to be around when she's at home. The disdain she shows in the grooming salon shifts to mostly disinterest as long as Castiel keeps his distance. Dean's not sure that they'll ever get any training accomplished until she trusts Castiel, so they mostly just sit on the floor in the same room as her, scooting closer to her occasionally to get her more comfortable with his presence. Castiel figures that she doesn't need training as much as she needs to get used to human contact, so he's fine with the approach. Luckily, it gives them a lot of time to talk and get to know each other beyond the short conversations they've been having for months.
Things with Baby are slow-going, but after a few weeks she lets them sit within arms reach without snarling, at least until they try to pet her. It's not much, but it's progress. And he feels the progress in his relationship with Dean, as well. The first few times Castiel comes over are a little awkward, but eventually it feels as if he's known Dean forever. Maybe they had a rocky start, a slow progression toward friendship, but Cas doesn't regret how things played out. He doesn't mind that it took some time and effort to understand Dean (and Baby, for that matter). He doesn't mind that it wasn't easy.
And if sometimes Dean reaches across the floor and holds his hand, or kisses him on the cheek on his way out the door… Cas doesn’t mind that either.
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Riding High
Ch8: Adler vs Adler
Chapter Summary: The gloves are off in court as Frank faces off against his mother.
Chapter Warnings: Bad Language words. Talk of suicide.
Chapter Pairings: Frank Adler x OFC Fliss Gallagher
A/N: Contains SPOILERS for the film!!!!! If you haven’t seen it please be aware of that before you read on. Also, those of you who do know this film well will see that I’ve changed the dates referenced in the court case, that’s because I brought the timeline of Gifted forward from 2015 (when it was filmed) to 2017 (when it was released). This was mainly to suit Fliss’ backstory of the Olympics. 2015 is too close to 2012 for me to make it work. Also Frank’s middle name is an absolute H/C too as I couldn’t find it anywhere so, sorry if this annoys any of you but, to quote @icanfeelastormbrewing- “my coffee, my fic, my rules…”
Disclaimer: This is a pure work of fiction and classified as 18+. Please respect this and do not read if you are underage. I do not own any characters in this series bar Fliss Gallagher and the other OCs. By reading beyond this point you understand and accept the terms of this disclaimer.
Riding High Masterlist // Main Masterlist
Chapter 7
“And love, if your wings are broken, borrow mine so yours can open too…’cause I’m gonna stand by you”
The first bit of evidence the next morning was the findings of the Welfare Department’s investigation. It had thrown nothing out of the ordinary up. The house was clean enough, Mary was fed, but they did point out that their current living arrangements wouldn’t be suitable for much longer as Mary would need her own room as she grew older, something which Frank’s attorney accepted on behalf of Frank, stating to the court that Frank had already considered this. Which in fairness he had. The Welfare Department continued then, stating that Mary’s interview the previous day hadn’t thrown up anything of concern, even if there were some questionable TV viewing habits, namely Ultimate Fighting on a Saturday night, but they were satisfied that overall Mary was suffering no ill effects, mentally or physically from being with Frank.
This took them just under an hour, as they were factual reports. Both Attorney’s requested clarification on certain points but there were no questions or cross examinations to be done. As such they had concluded just after eleven am and there was then a small ten minute break to allow a quick consultation between clients and attorney’s before Evelyn was to take to the stand. As people moved around, passing papers and files to one another, Frank turned in his seat and just as he glanced round, someone left the courtroom and through the open door Fliss walked in, dressed in a smart pair of black jeans and a light blue strappy top. He flashed her a smile and she gave a small wave, settling onto a seat next to Roberta who gave her a hug. She’d missed the early session due to having to sort the horses out but she’d cleared her diary and brought in cover for the rest of the day so she could be there to lend him support.
And even though the morning had, all in all, been favourable to him, Frank felt his spirits raise even more at the sight of her there in his corner so to speak. Tearing his eyes away from her, Frankturned back to Greg who was watching him, eyebrow raised.
“Well that’s a mighty big smile Frank.”
“I just spotted some additional back up, that’s all.”
Greg turned to see the woman who was now talking to Roberta and he grinned, spinning back to Frank “Let me guess, Fliss?”
Frank nodded “Yeah, I’ll introduce you later.”
Greg raised his eyebrow, smiling a little. “I look forward to it. Anyway, back to business. That opening report from the Welfare Department was good, well as good as it’s gonna get. But dude, Ultimate Fighting? Really?”
“It’s harmless fun.” Frank shrugged
Greg shook his head “Whatever. This next bit ain’t gonna be as easy.”
“No shit.” Frank mumbled, looking at his mother as she said something to Highsmith, her attorney. “She’s going to rip me to pieces, and no doubt enjoy doing it too.”
“Yep.” Greg nodded “But just keep doing what you’re doing. No outbursts, stay quiet, focussed and listen. If she says something that isn’t accurate, or you think of anything we can use, note it down and I’ll use it in my cross examination, okay?”
Frank nodded as Judge Nicholls banged his gavel down and issued instructions for everyone to reconvene. He called Evelyn to the stand where she was sworn in and Highsmith stood up and began firing questions at her, a well-practiced dance, Frank could tell.
From the gallery Fliss watched intently. She’d been missed the first session but Roberta had hastily filled her in, telling her it had gone well. She shot Frank another encouraging smile, just as the judge called them back to order, and couldn’t help but notice how good he looked in his suit. A far cry from his dirty jeans and ratty work t-shirts. Which, if she was honest, she preferred…
Evelyn took to the stand and Fliss felt herself bristling as she proceeded to utterly character assassinate Frank, depicting him as nothing more than an irresponsible bum, floating around with no purpose to life, a man who didn’t care about Mary’s welfare, preferring to simply fly by the seat of his pants instead of giving her any decent roots or thoughts to her needs. At one point, they started to question his motivations towards taking Mary being more about punishing Evelyn that actually caring about the girl. To this Frank’s attorney objected and as the two lawyers began to argue, Fliss found her nails cutting into her palms as she clenched her fists. Roberta gently reached out and squeezed her arm and she turned to the woman next to her and gave her a tight smile.
“Frank’s attorney, Greg Cullen, he’s good…” Roberta whispered, “He’ll go at her when he gets his chance, you’ll see.”
The objection was overruled, the judge telling Cullen he would get his chance to challenge that statement in his cross examination, and Cullen sat down, leaning over to whisper something to Frank who nodded, his eyes not once leaving his mother. Cullen jotted something down as Evelyn continued.
By the time she finished it was almost one pm so they broke for lunch, Judge Nicholls instructing everyone to be back in an hour. Fliss and Roberta headed outside to wait for Frank who met them shortly after.
“Hey.” Fliss gave him a gentle hug. “How you holding up?”
“About as well as I can for someone whose own mother just tore them to shreds under oath.”
Fliss’ eyes narrowed “I hope your guy is gonna give her as much of a shredding as she gave you.”
“I’ll do my best.” A voice spoke from behind them. Fliss spun round to be greeted by Frank’s attorney.
“Fliss, this is Greg Cullen, Greg, Fliss Gallagher.” Frank introduced them to one another.
“I’ve heard a lot about you.” Greg smiled at her, shaking her hand. Fliss looked up at Frank and was surprised to find a faint flush of red on his cheeks.
“All good I hope?” she grimaced and Cullen nodded.
“Oh, very good indeed. I’ve been dying to meet the woman who’s made such an impression on him.”
“Greg, piss off.” Frank groaned in a tired voice before he nodded over the road to the café “Shall we grab some lunch?”
They ate together, making small talk, before Greg requested Frank join him alone for fifteen minutes to go over their plan for the rest of the afternoon. Frank stood, and without even thinking about it gave Fliss a quick peck on the cheek. He winced as soon as he had, noticing that Cullen and Roberta were watching him and, knowing Fliss was going to get an absolute drilling from Roberta, he shot her an apologetic look as he walked away. She simply smiled through her blush and shook her head, turning to Roberta who nudged her arm.
“Okay, what was that?” Greg asked as they walked back over the road. “Are you two erm…”
“It’s complicated.” Frank shrugged after a little pause. “We both, well we both like each other but with everything that’s going on we’re just kind of waiting, I suppose. I’m focussing on getting through whatever it is that happens with Mary and then hopefully...what?” he trailed off as Greg was smirking at him.
“Frank Adler. Finally found a girl he likes that much he ain’t simply trying to get her into bed. Wait till I tell the guys.”
Frank rolled his eyes and pointed to the courtroom “How about you concentrate on what’s gonna go on in there instead of what is or isn’t going on in my bedroom?”
Greg gave out a chuckle and patted his friend on the shoulder as they made their way in and headed into the side room they had reserved.
****
“Mrs. Adler, in your earlier testimony here today, you painted a pretty dim picture of your own son don't you think?” Cullen asked, tapping his pen on his note pad. Frank remained stony faced, watching his mother.
“I'm under oath, I take no pleasure in it.” She said with a glance at Frank before she looked down, almost convincingly.
Frank just about managed to refrain from rolling his eyes.
“So, your son is a failure in life, your daughter took her life, you know, you're oh for two.”
Fliss winced and glanced at Roberta as Highsmith said “Objection” in an almost bored voice
“Withdrawn.” Cullen’s voice took on an amused edge but as Fliss watched as Evelyn simply eyed him, completely un-phased.
“If I go one for three, I'm in the Hall of Fame.” she shot back.
“You know baseball.” Cullen pushed his chair back. “Fenway Park.”
At that something flickered in Evelyn’s eye as she glanced at Frank. Fliss followed her gaze and watched, just able to see the side of Frank’s face. His eyes were locked onto her, his expression never faltering.
“You know, I'd like to go there sometime.” Cullen stood up, pushing his glasses up onto his head as Evelyn turned back to him “How often in a year did you take Diane to the baseball game?”
“Diane wasn't interested in sports.” Evelyn replied
“She never wanted to go to a game? Ever?”
“I don't recall her ever asking.”
Cullen moved forwards a step and Fliss saw Frank’s eyes flick to him as he continued to question his mother.
“Just out of curiosity, Fenway, that's a tough ticket. Where do you get yours?”
“My husband has season tickets.”
“And how long has he had them?” Cullen enquired
“Thirty years. But I've only been married to him for twenty.” Evelyn informed him.
“And Diane never went to one game?”
Evelyn didn’t reply, simply raised her eyebrows slightly as if she was failing to see the point. Fliss’ eyes once again flicked to Frank who still hadn’t moved an inch.
“What colour was the dress Diane wore to prom?” Cullen changed his line of questions.
“Diane didn't attend the prom, because she didn't attend the high school.” Evelyn replied calmly
“No prom.” Cullen mused before he asked suddenly.“What sports did she play?”
“As I told you earlier, she wasn't interested in sports.”
“She’s calm.” Roberta whispered to Fliss as Cullen continued to question Evelyn about Diane’s lack of interaction with other children her age.
“Too calm.” Fliss nodded. “But I can see what he’s doing, trying to paint a picture of how she isolated Diane to imply that she’d do the same to Mary. You’re right, he’s good.”
As they tuned back into the examination again, Cullen took a deep breath and glanced to his left
“Mrs. Adler,” he looked back at her, “who's Paul Riva?”
At that Evelyn glanced at Frank, her calm mask slipping ever so slightly but still Frank didn’t move. Fliss could see his expression now carried a faint, and every so sad, smile.
Evelyn gave a silent huff before she looked back at Cullen “He was a boy from the neighbourhood.”
Her tone was clipped and Fliss noticed the judge sit forward slightly at her shift in attitude, narrowing his eyes a little as he watched her curiously.
“Oh, come on. He was much more than just a boy from the neighbourhood. Paul was Diane's first love. Wasn't he?” Cullen asked.
Fliss and Roberta exchanged a glance.
“I wouldn't characterize it that way, no.” Evelyn shook her head.
“And how would Diane characterize it?”
“Diane was seventeen years old at the time. She didn't know anything about love.”
At that Fliss caught the first movement Frank had made since his mother had started talking. He took a deep breath and looked to his left before turning back, his shoulders moving slightly in frustration as he shook his head slightly, his eyes locking back onto his mother who was carefully avoiding his gaze.
“Mrs. Adler, in January 2000 didn't Diane and young Mr. Riva run away together?” Cullen looked at her.
“He coerced her.” Evelyn corrected with the air of someone picking her words carefully.
“And where did they go?”
“Vermont.”
“And you called the police, didn't you?” Cullen stated rather than asked.
“Yes.”
“Because he kidnapped her?”
“Yes”
“And where did the police find young Mr. Riva and Diane?” Cullen looked at Evelyn
“I told you, Vermont.” Evelyn looked at Cullen, her voice suddenly taking on an icy edge which made Fliss lean forward slightly.
“Stowe, Vermont. Wasn't it? A resort town.” Cullen looked round the court room as Evelyn shifted uncomfortably. “Stowe Mountain. He took her skiing. You see, kidnappers don't usually take their victims skiing.” Cullen paused from his explanation. When he spoke again his voice was calm, and slow, stressing the point perfectly “But this is what Paul did because he and Diane were in love.”
“No.” Evelyn refuted firmly
“And when they returned, you pressed kidnapping charges.” Cullen’s voice rose in volume and speed as he spoke. “You filed a lawsuit against his parents, until Paul stopped calling Diane. Didn't you?”
“Yes.”
“And Diane never heard of or saw Paul Riva again. Did she?” Cullen’s tone was harsh, accusatory as he stared at Evelyn.
“Poor girl.” Roberta mumbled besides her and Fliss shook her head, in utter shock at how a mother could be so damned cruel and out of touch with her own daughter. It made her feel a pang of sympathy for Mary’s mother despite never having known her. Fliss couldn’t imagine what she would do without either of her parents being as supportive as they were.
Evelyn must have answered as by the time Fliss turned her attention fully to what she was saying, as Cullen had asked another question.
“And how did she take it?”
“She was upset for a while. She lost focus.”
“She lost focus.” Cullen turned back to the desk and picked up a small file. “Mrs. Adler,” he turned back, file in hand, “in March of 2001 didn't Diane Adler attempt to take her own life?”
“This episode was minor. It was nothing.” Evelyn replied, her tone harsh.
“Nothing?” Fliss drew in a breath, shaking her head. For a moment she almost lost herself in another memory, of one rainy afternoon in Boston in October 2015, but she took a deep breath and focussed on where she was, as Cullen flashed the file at Evelyn.
“I have the hospital report in my hand.” he informed her
“It was nothing.” Evelyn said again, and now Fliss could see she was rattled. “Diane was not like regular people. She was extraordinary. And extraordinary people come with singular issues and needs.”
Fliss watched as Evelyn leant forward, her face creased in anger as she hissed “You have no idea of the capability she possessed. One in a billion. And you would say fine, let's throw that away, so the boy who cuts our yard can make a sexual conquest? Well maybe before you make that decision, you stand in my shoes. I had responsibilities, which went beyond the mother-daughter relationship.”
She took a deep breath and spoke again, her voice louder this time “The greatest discoveries, which have proved life on this planet have come from minds rarer than radium. Without them, we'd still be crawling in mud. And for your information, counsellor, a year after this incident with this boy Diane thanked me for my intervention. She realized she'd made a mistake and she thanked me. You see, Diane understood. She was accountable for the gift she'd been given. And she didn't shy from it.”
Every inch of Evelyn’s face was contorted with a mixture of pain and anger, and she radiated absolute fury across the courtroom as her rant built to its climax
“And I think, if she were here today, Mr. Attorney, she would refute your baseless insinuations, that she would give up her brilliant future and take her own life just because mummy didn't get her a little red wagon
There was a pause as she took a breath and sat back.
“No more questions.” Cullen said simply, turning back to his seat.
Fliss watched Frank who shifted, rubbing his chin with his left hand, his fingers curling round his jaw in an L shape as he stared at this mother, his face completely unreadable to anyone who didn’t know him, but to her she could see the pain in his eyes.
And from the look Evelyn gave him, it was obvious she’d seen it too.
*****
When Mary returned home on the school bus that afternoon, Frank did his best to remain positive and keep his broodings to himself, and was thankful when Fliss suggested they head out for dinner with Roberta. The four of them went to the same restaurant he had met his mother at not long before where he ate, not really tasting his food, or listening as Fliss and Roberta chatted away. Instead his attention was completely on Mary who was stood with one of the waitresses at another table, pouring sand out of one of the bottles that was used to keep the tablecloths from blowing away. The thought that she could be without such simple pleasure of looking through sand for shells, and lost to a world of pressure and solitude like Diane had been, was breaking his heart.
He felt someone squeeze his hand at the same time Mary held up a shell and showed it to him. He took a deep breath and tried to rearrange his face into a smile as he turned to face Fliss.
“It’s going to be okay, Frank.” She looked at him and he swallowed, unable to form his words. Instead his fingers tightened around hers and she simply held his hand whilst they finished up their drinks.
Later that evening, once Mary was asleep inside the apartment, Frank and Fliss sat outside the kitchen door, shoulder to shoulder along the top step.
“You know, until I met you I thought sitting on a porch drinking beer was something only red necked hillbillies did.” Fliss teased him.
“Well, according to my mother that’s what I am.” he scoffed.
“And according to me your mother is a callous, cold hearted bitch.” Fliss spat, with such venom it made Frank look at her, his eyebrow raising a little. She took a deep breath, her voice softening “How can anyone dismiss a suicide attempt as nothing.”
Frank looked away, taking a pull from his beer. They sat in silence for a moment before Fliss broke it.
“You know back in 2015, about five months after I’d gotten married, I almost did it you know? Killed myself.”
Frank’s head turned to face her. She wasn’t looking at him, instead she remained focussed on a spot in the distance as she stared straight ahead. “My life was out of my control, and it was the only way I could think of getting some of that control back. So I took a shit load of buproprion and washed it down with half a litre of vodka.”
“Shit, Lissy I’m sorry, I had-”
She waved his sympathy off and continued “After that I was offered all this help and support and-” she snorted bitterly, “I still went back to him. He convinced everyone, including me that the issue was the fact that I was still brooding over my career being cut so short, and then told me that having a kid would fix the issue. In reality there was no issue to fix. I wasn’t depressed as such, I was abused. And that was simply another way of him taking control.”
After a moment she turned to look at him, “I’m not saying your mother abused Diane, not as such but she isolated her for her own, selfish reasons, no matter how she tries to dress them up or convince herself that it was for Diane’s own good. That first suicide attempt your sister would have made a normal, loving parent sit up and pay attention to what was going on. I know it did mine, as Bill never trusted John’s explanation, not one word.”
“I should have done more too.” Frank’s voice was choked as he looked down at his feet. “But I was so busy, wrapped up in my finals and…”
“Frank, Diane wasn’t your responsibility, you’re not her parent.”
“No but when Dad died, I promised I’d take care of her, always be there for her. I should have done more, and I should have known, when she turned up that day at mine with Mary…”
“Frankie.” Fliss cut him off, her hand taking his. “Take it from me, my mum and dad and brother went through all of this in their head. Did Diane give you any warnings at all because I know I didn’t? Look at the lies and the world of fantasy I let John build up round me and detract from what was going on. I told nobody I was gonna do it Frank. And I told no body why I did it either.”
Frank sniffed and wiped at his nose slightly with his free hand.
“So you can either carry on beating yourself up over something that isn’t your fault or you can concentrate on getting the best outcome here for Mary.”
He reached for his beer which was on the step below him between his legs and nodded. She was right, he knew she was, but there would always be that part of him that wondered if he could have done more, it he should have done more.
“Are you planning on coming tomorrow?” he asked, looking at Fliss.
“Yeah, Joanne is covering again.”
“I don’t want to put you out.” he said gently, but she shook her head.
“It’s sorted.” Fliss smiled. “She wants the week of Thanksgiving off so she’s racking up the favours.”
“Well, from a purely selfish standpoint I’m glad.” He flexed his fingers against hers, looking down at where they were entwined.
“I’m not missing your testimony, if only for the sole reason of discovering what your full name is.” she teased as he looked at her.
Frank gave a huff of a laugh “Francis Preston Adler, nice to meet you.” He tipped his bottle in her direction.
“Preston?” She snorted “Get out of town! There’s a place in England called Preston, it’s like thirty miles away from my home!”
Frank smiled, before he sighed.
“Last day tomorrow isn’t it?” Fliss looked at him as he stared straight ahead.
He let out a breath “Yeah, well last day of evidence. Then we have to wait for however long it takes the judge to read all the reports and make a ruling.”
“Well then, I suggest you get some sleep, or as much as you can.” Fliss kissed his cheek, and with that she released his hand and stood up. Frank followed her lead, rising to her feet. “Oh, and FYI I got an absolute interrogation off Roberta before when you did that to me. Felt like it was me in the dock, not Evelyn.”
For the first time all evening Frank laughed.
******
The gloomy, rainy morning matched Frank’s mood perfectly.
He sat in the dock dressed in his suit, feeling as out of place as anyone could. Greg went through the questions he had coached Frank on, questions designed not to paint him as a saint but to simply be real and portray him as a normal person, doing the best he could for his niece in line with his sister’s wishes. Frank answered them honestly. Was he perfect? No. Had he done things correctly? No. Did he wish he had spotted Diane was struggling? Yes. Did he love Mary and want the best for her? With every breath he had.
The questions continued along those lines until they broke for lunch. And then came the cross examination, and Frank knew he was in for a beating.
“Mr. Adler where are you currently employed?” Highsmith asked sitting on the desk to the left of Evelyn.
“I repair boats.” Frank answered clearly
“Oh, really? At which marina?”
“I don't work at a marina. I freelance.”
“So, safe to say, no health insurance.”
“No.” Frank shook his head
“About a week before your sister took her life what were you doing for a living then?”
“I was a teacher.” Frank replied.
“You're being modest, aren't you?” Highsmith said, standing up and walking towards the dock “You were a professor at Boston University Isn't that right?
“Yes, well, assistant professor.”
“And what'd you teach?”
“Philosophy.”
“Truth and logic. That sort of thing.” Highsmith gestured with his hands and Frank simply smiled as the man continued. “Your attorney said that the primary reason that you took Mary is because it was what your sister would've wanted you to do. Is that a truth?”
“Yes.” Frank implored
“So Diane had visited Pinellas County before?”
“No.” Frank said with almost an air of amusement on his face as he looked at his mother for a second before he glanced down and joined his hands in front of him in his lap.
“She indicated she wanted her daughter uprooted and moved here?”
Frank shook his head, closing his eyes. “No”
“No.” Highsmith repeated “So you decided to bring Mary here, didn't you?”
Frank licked his lips and drew in a deep breath as he simply stared as his mother. He was pleased so see her shift in her seat
“Did Diane had a problem with your health plan at Boston University?” Highsmith pressed.
Frank wanted to laugh. The guy was doing exactly what Greg had warned him he would do, attack his lack of healthcare, insinuate he wasn’t able or fit to provide for Mary. When he spoke his voice was calm, and he fought to keep his face as amicable as possible.
“Not to my knowledge.”
“Do you think she would want her daughter to have access to healthcare?”
Dumbass question
“Of course.” Frank nodded.
“So what do you do, when little Mary gets sick? You repair a doctor's boat?”
Frank scoffed a laugh as Cullen objected.
“Sustained.” Judge Nicholls shot Highsmith a look and Frank stole a glance at Fliss. If the situation wasn’t so serious he would have laughed at the identical look she wore to Roberta, both glaring at Highsmith like they were plotting his very painful death.
The rain outside continued to drive down as did Highsmith’s questions, the air punctuated every so often by a low rumble of thunder from the outside storm echoing what Frank was feeling inside.
“Prior to Mrs. Adler giving her one. Did Mary have a computer?”
“She used mine.”
“Mr. Adler, does Diane's daughter have her own bedroom?”
“No.”
“Does she sleep in a bed that you bought in a second hand shop?”
“Yes.” Frank looked ahead, focussing on keeping calm as Highsmith walked towards the dock, gesturing now with his hands, his tone winding up
“So, the truth is, Mr. Adler, that you didn't come down here because your sister wanted it to and you certainly didn't come here because it was good for Mary.”
Frank swallowed slightly and shifted a little, avoiding looking at the man as he tapped his hand on the side of the dock.
“No, it was personal. Diane was a star. You weren't. Diane got the attention. You didn't.”
Frank scoffed silently, oh please, and turned to look in the opposite direction.
“..and over the years You got angry. And here comes Mary. What a great way to get even.”
At that he audibly sighed. He had known this was coming, that his mother’s attorney would try and paint him as petty and vindictive but it still hurt to hear it. Hurt that his own mother would have someone attack him in such a way. He’d defend Mary to the hilt if someone was doing this to her…
“You've uprooted that little girl and brought her here for one reason only. To do harm to your mother. You blamed her for your sister.”
“No, I don't.” Frank broke his silence.
“And Mary to you is just a pawn in all this.”
And that did it, Mary wasn’t a pawn. She was a little girl, a little girl who he was doing is best by.
“Diane wanted Mary, to be a kid” Frank’s voice betrayed his desperation and emotion, and he knew that, but now he was past caring, this was the truth, it was how he felt, and he was nothing if not honest. He locked eyes with his mother as he spoke, driving his words home “.She wanted her to have a life. She wanted her to have friends and to play…”
At that his mother looked away, her eyes glistening but Frank kept his on hers as she turned back to him, his final words were almost whispered
“…and to be happy.”
“You realize the consequences of boredom for a gifted child, Mr. Adler? They become resentful and sullen.”
“Mary's not an angry kid.” Frank’s voice was calm once more.
“Really? Did she not attack a child on the school bus?”
Shit.
“A twelve year old tripped a seven year old and she came to his defense.” Frank shrugged slightly
“Did she break the boy's nose?”
“Yes.”
“On October 16th last year, were you arrested for assault?”
“Oh, my God.” Frank groaned, and he looked down before he glanced back up, momentarily locking eyes with Fliss who he noticed had taken a deep breath. He looked back down, shaking his head
“You have to answer the question Mr. Adler.” Judge Nicholls reminded him
Frank swallowed and focussed on a spot on the varnished surface of the wood in front of him, just by the microphone. “A drunk idiot attacked me and I defended myself. What does that have to do…”
“Did you spend the night in jail?” Highsmith cut him off.
“Yeah.” Frank nodded.
“You are in way over your head here. You're depriving that girl…”
Frank stayed still, shaking his head and glaring at his mother, all the while Highsmith continued ranting on at him
“…you're gambling with her future and now you’re being presented with an opportunity to do right by her.”
“Does council have a question for my client?” Cullen asked loudly
“Take the high road, Mr. Adler before she's rapidly damaged.”
“Does council have a question for my client or not?” Cullen repeated, this time standing up.
“Yes, sir. I do have a question.” Highsmith said. “Tell us. Is your continued guardianship really in the best interest of this little girl?”
“You do your best, Frank. And that’s all any of us can do…” Fliss’s voice rattled in his head, and he took a deep breath. No he wasn’t perfect. Yes, Evelyn could provide for her better than he could but could she love Mary like he did. No, no she couldn’t
He stared at his mother, as he lifted his chin and spoke loudly and clearly.
“Yes.Yes, it is.”
“I have no further questions.” Highsmith spoke.
Frank scratched at his head and left the dock.
*****
Following the summing up, they were all dismissed. Frank shook Greg’s hand who told him he would be in touch and Frank left the courtroom with Roberta, Fliss nowhere to be seen. He took a deep breath, realising she was probably going to run a mile after hearing about the assault. That wasn’t how he wanted her to find out. However, to his amazement and joy she was waiting for him by his truck. Roberta nodded to him and made an excuse to nip over the road to the store for a water leaving them to talk alone.
“Thought you’d gone?” he said gently.
“No, I had to take a call from Joanne about a lesson. Why would I leave without saying goodbye?” she frowned
“The assault”
Fliss sighed “Okay, I admit it was a shock to hear but…”
“At least let me explain.”
“There’s really no need. You said you were defending yourself and I believe you.”
“He was a drunk idiot.” Frank continued anyway. “I was actually out with a friend, Jacob and his fiancée, Lisa. Jake had gone to the bathroom and this guy bumped into us and sent Lisa flying into the table, knocking a load of glasses over. When I told him to be careful he took a swing at me only he missed and, well I didn’t.”
“You’re a regular knight in shining armour, Sailor.” Fliss smiled before she looked at him softly. “I know that was hard today. I was so angry and the things he was saying to you but it’s done now. Try not to think on it because you can’t change the outcome. Whatever it is, you did your best.”
“You know I remembered you saying that to me.” he smiled, “Right as he was telling me what a lousy life I give Mary.”
“It’s not lousy.” Fliss shook her head. “She’s loved Frank. And she’s happy.”
He smiled again as she took a deep breath.
“Look, I have to go, I have a lesson in an hour now this rain has let up, but what are you doing tomorrow night?”
“Working.” he said, chuckling as she raised her eyebrow. “Yeah I know, second Friday night in a row but, well I’m behind thanks to this case and whilst Roberta has Mary I can get a good few hours in during the night and then get my head down for a few hours before she comes back.”
“How about I keep you company?” Fliss offered. “Only if that’s ok?”
Frank smiled “As long as you don’t distract me too much.”
“Wouldn’t dream of it.”
****
The next evening, Frank and Fliss were in the workshop at the Marina, Frank explaining to Fliss the different components of the oil filter he was stripping down. She gave a loud, exaggerated yawn and he nudged her playfully. She grinned at him, and he didn’t miss the flash in her eyes as she looked him quickly up and down, taking in his dirty jeans, hands covered in oil and his long sleeved thin blue sweater which he knew fit him pretty well. Part of the reason he had worn it.
“Hey.” a familiar voice said, and they both looked up to see Cullen as he stood in the entrance.
“Hey.” Frank frowned “What’s…”
“I got some news, and I wanted to give it to you in person.”
“I’ll er, give you a moment.” Fliss offered, and she went to leave but Frank caught her elbow gently.
“No, stay, please.”
She looked at him for a second and nodded as Frank turned his attention to Cullen.
“What is it Greg.”
“Highsmith called. They want to cut a deal.”
“What kind of deal?”
Cullen took a breath. “A foster family.”
“No way.” Frank dismissed the notion straight up and Greg continued to try and win him round, informing him that they could cherry pick and that it would be mutually approved and he’d already found a family in Tampa, which was what he had been working on all day.
“She’ll attend the Oaks, you and Evelyn will get visitation right, and then, when she’s twelve, you can go back into court and Mary can decide where, and with who, she wants to live.”
“You’re supposed to be on my team.” Frank cut his friend off, glaring at him “Why are you bringing me this deal?
“Other than I'm required to by law?” Greg looked back at him, and then suddenly Frank understood.
“You like this deal.” he stated and Greg nodded.
“I love this deal.”
“They think they're gonna lose.” Frank leaned on the work-desk in front of him, looking at Cullen.
“Yeah. They do.”
“You think we're gonna lose.”
“Yes.” Greg replied honestly. “I do, Frank.”
Frank looked down, swallowing before he turned to his friend who sighed.
“I gotta go put my kids to bed. I'll do whatever you want me to do. But, if we leave this up to the judge, Nicholls, he's old school, Frank. Does he like your mother? No. Does he like her income? Does he like her health plan? Does he like her home? You better believe it.”
Frank looked down again, shaking his head, unable to do anything else.
“I've been in his courtroom. A hundred times. And if it's a coin toss...Look at me.”
Frank turned to Greg, his arms still leaning on the top, muscles straining as he grasped at a wrench in front of him in frustration.
“If it's a coin toss, that old boy is going to side with the money.” Greg said gently “So, do me a favour, Frank. Just meet the family. See how it feels. It's all I ask.” With that he took a deep breath. “I gotta go, I’ll see you later. Goodnight Fliss.”
“Night.” she replied, watching him leave.
There was a pause before Frank picked up the wrench in his hand and threw it hard against the wall at the opposite side of the garage, before he stood up tall and turned to Fliss who was watching him, her face contorted in sympathy and sadness.
“I don’t know what to do.” He looked at her, and every single emotion he had been holding back cascaded over him in a wave as he felt utterly and hopelessly overwhelmed. He couldn’t stop the tears brimming in his eyes and he bowed his head, once more leaning on the desk. He felt a warm pair of hands gently on his arm, nudging him to turn slightly and he did so to look at Fliss as she wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him down into a hug. He pressed his face into the crook of her shoulder, his tears falling onto her soft skin as she smoothed a hand through his hair, gently soothing him.
“Sorry.” he mumbled after a moment pulling back.
She placed her hands on his face, wiping his tears with her thumbs, her own filling her eyes. “Don’t ever apologise to me for being upset, Frankie.”
He let out a soft, watery laugh as he dropped his forehead to hers, his eyes closing as he took a deep breath, composing himself.
“You now no one’s called me Frankie since I was a little kid” he smiled.
“Well it suits you.” she pulled away slightly. “You good?”
He nodded, moving back out of her arms. “Do you think I should go?” he asked “Meet this family?”
“Frank, I can’t answer that.”
“What would you do?”
“I honestly don’t know.” she shook her head. “I suppose there’s no harm in meeting them. But you have to be sure this is what is right for Mary. I do know one thing though, whatever you decide to do, I’ll be there all the way. I told you, I was here for the road trip, no matter how bumpy it gets.”
He nodded, taking a deep breath. He gently took her hand and raised it to his mouth, brushing his lips across her knuckles. “Thankyou.”
****
Chapter 9
#riding high#frank adler#frank adler x ofc#frank adler x original female character#gifted#gifted fan fic
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What the Hell is “Emotional Incest”?
Emotional incest, also known as “covert incest”, “spousification” or “parentification” is a certain type of unhealthy relationship that can exist between a parent and child. In these situations, the child is treated more like a “subsitute spouse”or even a “substitute parent” to their parent than an actual child. The parent’s need to have an adult life partner or a parent of their own outweighs the child’s need for an actual childhood, and the child takes on an adult role in the relationship at a much, much earlier age than is developmentally appropriate. Although this does not involve actual physical incest, it can give the child lifelong struggles with intimacy, relationships and self-esteem.
Sounds familiar to you? You may have experienced emotional incest or parentification if:
You grew up in a family that was dysfunctional or broken in some way. Emotional incest (EI) and parentification generally don’t happen in households where there are stable, loving parental figures who have a healthy relationship between them. EI usually occurs in households where one parent is dead, disabled, incarcerated or absent, or in households where there is serious dysfunction - alcoholism, drug use, mental illness, violence, poverty, divorce or other major issues. Generally, EI stems from a parent being unable to cope with their own loneliness or with the seriousness of their circumstances, and leaning hard on their child as a result.
Your parent confided in you at an inappropriately young age. You were treated like your parent’s substitute therapist, and asked for your input on situations that you were much too young to handle - your parent may have told you about their sex life, your other parent’s infidelity, their own experiences of child abuse, or other adult issues that you were not old enough to handle. No attempt was made to explain things in an age-appropriate manner, and you were not told these things for your benefit; your parent simply dumped their emotional issues on you, and expected you to deal with them in a meaningful way, even when you were barely old enough to understand them.
It was your responsibility to keep the household running. Almost all children are responsible for some amount of age-appropriate household chores, like dishes and vacuuming, but you were responsible for major household tasks that should have been your parent’s responsibility. You had to make sure that there was food in the fridge, school clothes for the younger children and that someone had paid the electrical bill, because if you didn’t do those things, nobody else was going to. At an age where most children can’t use the stove by themselves, you were expected to keep the household functioning.
You had to set rules and boundaries for your parent, not the other way around. You were the one who had to lecture your parent about responsibility when they came home drunk on a Tuesday night or when they forgot to take their medication again. You had to take on the “adult” role in the relationship and beg or scold your parent into growing up and being an adult for once. Although being on equal footing with your parent might sound awesome once you are both adults, it is an exhausting thing for a child to have to deal with - you aren’t even old enough to take care of yourself yet, but you are already responsible for trying to emotionally parent a grown adult.
You may have had to physically take care of your parent. In some households, children are made to engage in something called “instrumental parentification” - this is where you are expected to physically take care of a parent. This can happen in households where a parent has a physical disability and needs their child to prepare their meals, dress them, etc, but it is especially common in households where one or more parents struggles with substance abuse. If you had to routinely put a drunk parent to bed and clean up their vomit, you are well aware of what instrumental parentification feels like.
You were given no discipline or structure by your parent. It might sound awesome to live in a house where there are no rules and you can do whatever you want, but it is actually emotionally devastating to grow up in a household where no one gives a shit if you drop out of school or don’t come home at night. You weren’t given healthy boundaries and no one made any meaningful effort to look after your well-being - if you wanted to smoke and have unprotected sex in high school, no one cared. All of your boundaries and responsibilities were things you had to figure out for yourself.
You are probably the eldest child, or the eldest child of your sex. Children who experience EI or parentification are normally one of the oldest children in the family. Eldest daughters are at especially high risk, as both fathers and mothers are disproportionately likely to turn their eldest girl into a substitute mother or spouse. There are cases, however, where a parent chooses the eldest son for their codependency; this is especially likely in families where the father figure is dead or absent.
You raised your younger siblings. You were, for all intents and purposes, the true parent of your younger siblings. Most older siblings have to do some occasional babysitting or keeping an eye out for the younger siblings, but your role went well beyond that - you may have been the only one making sure that they were fed, bathed and doing okay in school. If you didn’t get them up and off to school in the mornings, they simply didn’t go. You probably signed field trip permission slips, made sure that everyone had clothes for school, and took an interest in your siblings’ lives in a way that your parent never did. Your parent may have kept on having kids well into your adolescence - there was an assumption that you’d just keep on raising whatever children they handed to you.
Your parent was unable to handle your emotions, so you stopped showing them. Whenever you had some kind of breakdown or emotional moment, your parent absolutely could not handle it; they were depending on you to be the “rock” of the household, and when you showed any signs of cracking, it completely overwhelmed them. They could not step up to the plate and cope with your emotions in any way; they often made your emotions all about them. So you quickly learned to push everything down and put on a brave face at all times, all for the sake of your parent.
Your parent did everything in their power to prevent you from moving out. Your parent was likely not a huge fan of the idea that you would one day move on with your life and leave them to fend for themselves, and they may have gone to great lengths to delay it. They might have discouraged you from having any kind of independence by preventing you from going to college or having a job, or they may simply have appealed to your emotions, insisting that you were needed at home and that leaving would mean “abandoning” them. Your parent may have intensely disliked all of your romantic partners, and felt threatened by the idea that your partner was trying to “take you away” from them.
Examples of emotional incest and parentification in fiction:
Fiona from Shameless. Fiona is perhaps the boilerplate example of extreme parentification. She is the oldest daughter in a family where one parent has outright abandoned the family, and the other parent is a low-functioning alcoholic with little interest in being a father. Fiona raises all of her younger siblings and ensures that the household is somewhat functional, at the cost of her own happiness. She repeatedly makes poor decisions in her personal life, but does not have any parent around to offer her guidance.
Princess Carolyn from Bojack Horseman. Princess Carolyn was raised by an alcoholic mother, and often had to fill in for her mom at her cleaning job when she was too drunk to work, so her mother would not be fired. Her mother also tries to use guilt to keep Princess Carolyn from leaving home to achieve her dreams. As an adult, Princess Carolyn continues to be hyper-responsible for the dysfunctional adults around her, and jumps in to save them from themselves even when it harms her.
Bella from Twilight. Bella’s parents are depicted as being flighty, irresponsible and clueless, particularly her mother, Renee. Bella expresses guilt over leaving each of her parents to fend for themselves at different points in the story, even though she is a minor and they are both adults. Even while living with her father Charlie, Bella takes over the household chores and does all of the cooking, as her adult father is unable to cook for himself.
Like anything else, emotional incest and parentification fall on a spectrum. You may have had a parent who was relatively functional when it came to finances and household chores, but made a habit of unloading on you emotionally and expecting you to give advice on adult issues. Or you may have had a deeply mentally ill and addicted parent who required huge amounts of care. Sometimes, parentification and emotional incest are temporary things - your parent may have leaned on you to be their parent for a few years after a major upset, like a divorce, before gradually getting back on their own feet, or their functionality may have waxed and waned as they recovered and relapsed from their issues. Some people have experiencing everything on this list and more, while some may have only experienced one or two things, and only for a short time. Not two families are alike.
It’s also important to remember that the impacts of emotional incest are deeply negative. There is a huge misconception that being a parentified child is somehow “good” for you, because it will make you wise and responsible at a young age. This isn’t actually the case; what many people see as “responsibility” is usually just high-functioning anxiety, which comes from being raised in a household where you got very little guidance and there wasn’t always a parent there to back you up if you messed up. Parentified children often get a “late start” in life, as they may continue to feel responsible for their parents well into their 20s, and their parents may go out of their way to discourage life milestones like college, independence and marriage. Children who have experienced emotional incest also tend to struggle with their own relationships as adults; they frequently have poor self-esteem and an enormous tolerance for dysfunction in their romantic partners, which can be a dangerous combination. They often struggle to have relationships without taking on codependent tendencies and placing an enormous caretaker burden on themselves, and it can take a long time for them to feel comfortable in egalitarian relationships.
There is hope for children who grew up in these situations - therapy can be an excellent tool for working past these tendencies and moving past the loss of one’s childhood. But the first step is recognizing that something was wrong.
#askmissmentelle#missmentelle#relationships#parents#codependent relationships#codependency#relationship#healthy relationships#mental health#emotional abuse
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𝕄𝕒𝕚𝕟 𝟞 𝕒𝕤 𝔻𝕣𝕚𝕧𝕖𝕣𝕤
⊱ ────── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ────── ⊰
(Hi everyone! I came up with these when me and my sister went out for a quick little drive after feeling sick of staying home 😘✌🏻 my driving skills got rusty. smh!)
(This is my first time writing so i’m sorry if they’re all over the place!)
⊱ ────── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ────── ⊰
☆ Asra
owns an old used car from the 90’s that makes you feel nostalgic
it kinda reeks of weed sometimes...
has random shit laying around the back including a blanket because he totally takes naps in the car between his classes
he’s a pretty slow driver (goes 23mph slower than the rest of traffic)
but as soon as he sees a yellow light he FLOORS IT
this lil shit never uses his blinkers...smh!
giggles when people cuss him out. he don’t give a fuck!
will always give you the aux cord because he vibes with whatever. any tunes you like, he likes too 🥰
often misses freeway exits because he’s too busy chatting with you (“wha..? oh haha...anyways!”)
he easily gets distracted with anything really, so you have to remind him to keep his eyes on the road all the time (it’s cute at first...but after a while it’s just annoying)
always offers to pick you up but never asks for gas money (pretends to forget but he just doesn’t care because it’s you and he care you <3)
overall he’s a cautious driver, he just has very erratic speed patterns and takes really shitty turns
★ Julian
has had the same old black car for about 8 years (hates that it’s a stick shift, but he got over it already)
he’s actually quite a responsible driver. doesn’t break transit rules
never got his license though, but it doesn’t really matter (u gotta do what u gotta do)
he never arrives on time, always late (super apologetic about it)
loses parking tickets and misplaces his keys all. the damn. time. so you usually end up carrying them instead
makes a HUGE fuss over your safety. please wear your seatbelt or else he will go bonkers
but at the same time will not hesitate to be your designated getaway driver (if you need to gtfo of somewhere, he will get you the fuck out of there)
he actually has to use glasses because his vision sucks and can’t read road signs. he looks so cute
his car doesn’t have an aux cord outlet, so he has a bunch of cassettes of different kinds of music ( 70’s rock, jazz, some obscure russian band, etc ) lying around. he can’t drive without music!
has a bit of road rage; if he’s with you he’ll mutter curses under his breath trying to keep composure
but when alone he will absolutely yell at people, but his way of doing it is somewhat.....endearing?
will occasionally bump into things, but has never caused any serious damage
has never been pulled over and only gets tickets due to expired parking meters in downtown (somehow manages to talk his way out of them all the time)
he’s had enough experience around the city so he talks to you about places no one really knows about
he will literally take you a random phone booth that is actually the entrance to a secret undergroung café that looks like a place where academics would hang out and conspire new literary movements
☆ Nadia
doesn’t drive, she has a chauffeur
but if she did, she would own one of those beautiful, modern, pearly off-white cars.
it’s perfectly clean, well kept and smells great
no food or drinks allowed inside. periodt
you’d probably be afraid of ruining the seat when you first get in. she assures you everything is okay
totally drives around wearing a pair of gloves, headscarf, and gorgeous sunglasses to protect herself from the sun. also because she’s so classy <3
she excels at everything in driving
flawless breaking and parking, but thinks that going around looking for a spot is a waste of time so she’d rather just pay extra for valet parking
her only flaw is that she gets super impatient with how long it takes for a red light to turn green
and she almost never stops for pedestrians
would usually call you to see if you’d like to go shopping with her or just accompany her for some errands (pls go with her she adores having you around 🥺)
doesn’t have a problem with giving you rides, but she’s always busy with a tight schedule, so rides from her are very rare
probably feels bad about it so she’ll send you an uber black instead
★ Muriel
hates going out because it means he has to drive ://
he just wants to get from point A to point B without any issues really
you’ll notice that his car always has a layer of dirt on it since he never really uses it (he doesn’t bother to give it a little wipe before hoping in)
would probably own a normal, practical car that gets the job done and doesn’t need much maintenance. nothing too fancy
.......but i really want to see him with a jeep so i’ll make him own a jeep ☺️
highkey anxious and hyperaware of his surrounding drivers
he looks too tense and grips the wheel hard....tell him to relax pls
if someone tries to pass him, he will absolutely give them a Look through the rear mirror
not one to listen to music (will sometimes turn on the radio but slams it off eventually because it’s annoying)
used to be terribly afraid of highways
mumbles and grumbles about how dangerous and stupid it is to carelessly swerve lanes just to go fast and look cool
☆ Portia
drives all the time so she’s definitely the most experienced on the road
owns a cute convertible beetle that she takes care of and loves very much ❤️ (has so many cute ass bumper stickers)
will not hesitate to change the tires on her own if needed
music is always loud and top is down most of the time
she’s got anything you might need in her glove box (hand cream? tissues? sanitizer? pocket knife? she has it yes ma’am)
when she’s by herself, laws simply do not exist
lowkey a threat to society. get her off
she goes so fucking fast like she zooms💨 down the road (mainly because she’s always on a hurry)
basically breaks whatever law she wants but once she spots a cop, citizen of the year
ohh but if you and/or anyone else is with her, it’s a whole different story
she drives carefully and slows down, would hate to put your safety at risk (same as julian)
road trips with her are THE BEST. going on drives with her always feel like a scene from a coming of age film 💕✨🧚♀️
★ Lucio
not necessarily an irresponsible driver, he’s just reckless and obnoxious
owns a restored, fancy vintage car that’s either red or white (his license plate is personalized, bedazzled and borderline opulent). genuinely proud of it
revs the engine just to piss people off
is always willing and able to be there for you if you need him
when he’s there to pick you up, he will absolutely make a scene for you to notice him. simply giving you a call is out of the equation!
the backseats are full of white hair...you know he brings his adored babies everywhere he goes
blasts music at an ASTRONOMICAL VOLUME and he just sits there like 🤪✌🏻🎶🕺🏼
but believe it or not, his music taste is actually really good....it slaps. so it’s okay
likes to drive fast (“oh you want to see some speed? i’ll show you some real speed”)
cannot stand traffic and slow drivers make him go batshit crazy
honks at everyone for everything but gets offended if they honk back >:(
you’ll still see him at the red light despite him doing 84 lane changes
tells you he LOVES the attention he gets because of the car, but then feels super self conscious if people stare too much or too long......although he will never admit it
this guy loves to gossip with you and likes to make fun of random pedestrians... you gotta admit he makes you snicker quite a bit. who am i kidding he’s funny as fuck of course you’re gonna laugh
doesn’t slow down for speed bumps, will blow quick kisses at the little fake cameras on top of the traffic lights, and has definitely scratched the lower sides of his car on curves more than once (*frantic wheel stirring* “not my fault not my fault!!”)
this man’s biggest struggle is parking. he cannot park for shit (secretly embarrassed about it)
it takes FOREVER for him to parallel park. might as well snooze while he’s at it
genuinely tries his best, going as far as to do the “arm behind the seat to look back” move (he wants to impress you dammit!!), but gets frustrated and gives up
so most of the time he ends up taking two spots despite trying so hard not to
gets tickets all the time (“now they’re ganging up against me! and for what?? what the fuck did i do!!”)
cannot comprehend street signs (“lucio you will get a $650 fine” “darling wdym?? it costs $650 to park here”)
going on a drive with him can be stressful and a bit crazy, but it’s always entertaining and you get the best stories to tell
#can u tell lucio is my fave? yeah me neither#the arcana#the arcana game#asra alnazar#nadia satrinava#julian devorak#count lucio#portia devorak#muriel#the arcana headcanons#the arcana imagines
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I dislike redemption arc culture.
I hate seeing arguments over which characters are “irredeemable,” and this notion that every villain story has to be a morally didactic narrative in which the bad guy gets punished, the end.
I’m almost tempted to say we were all spoiled by having Zuko as a formative experience, because he’s really just the picture perfect redemption arc. He started out as a legit villain, but he never did anything too atrocious, had a tragic backstory that explained why he was like that, and went through three whole seasons of gradual character development. Like, Zuko was an amazing character. That’s the problem, though; he set our expectations too high for what “the perfect redemption arc” should be. Everyone expects their “reformed villain” characters to follow those same beats, but not every story is that cut and dry. There are lines between redemption and reformation, reformation and rehabilitation, rehabilitation and just... continuing to exist but no longer hurting anyone, and there’s a lot of nuance lost when people try to cram all that into the box of “redemption arc.”
Gonna be bringing a lot of different examples to the table here, but let’s start with Azula for ease of transition. She went through the same abuse that Zuko did, but she never got a redemption arc in ATLA proper. Some people say this isn’t fair. I disagree. This is not to say I don’t think she should be afforded the opportunity for post-canon character growth, because I absolutely do. I fully think she is capable of Getting Better, and spinoff media has consistently portrayed her as a sympathetic character. But like... she’s done some shit. She was a straight up war criminal, and emotionally abusive towards basically everyone in her social circle. I understand why. She was a 14 year old raised in an environment that rewarded that behavior, and never given a healthy outlet for her aggression.
The difference, in my opinion, is this: Zuko was fundamentally a good person from the start. Far from perfect, but he has a strong sense of values even as a child. Azula is not. Redemption for someone like Azula would look much different than it did for Zuko. Besides, in ATLA proper she was already filling an important villain role. She’d need her own show. (Which would be awesome, actually.)
But I think that’s where you have to ask the question: what even is a redemption arc? Is it any story where a villain stops being a villain? Is there a scale for like, “must do X amount of good deeds equal to Y bad deeds to qualify for redemption”? Must they be sufficiently punished for their bad deeds? What if reformation is possible without punishment--is punishment for its own sake truly justice? The focus people have on penance and atonement feels very baked in Christian moral philosophy. People don’t work like that. There’s not a cosmic scale of right and wrong, or a cosmic sin counter, there’s just... actions and their immediate impact. Bad people being let off the hook too easily can leave a bad taste in your mouth, and there are of course things with unfortunate real world implications which can’t be divorced from real-world context which are... irresponsible to allow in the hands of Certain Groups, but I hate this notion of “villains must be punished appropriately for their crimes, always, even if they have extenuating circumstances, even if they have demonstrated the capacity for personal growth, because that personal growth will never negate their misdeeds.”
In real life, it’s different. In real life, you can never be sure what’s going on in another person’s head. But the prison system of justice is fundamentally broken. People are rarely fundamentally evil, but there are some people who are too twisted and dangerous to society to be allowed to live without, at the very least, constant supervision. True evil is banal, rooted in social systems, not individual “bad people.” People have individual will, but ultimately they’re just the products of the environment and systems that fostered them. Setting aside the questions of whether people can be born evil or at what age you become personally responsible for your actions, you will get bad apples in any sufficiently large group of people. If someone has to be punished and removed from society, that’s not a success of justice. The fact that they reached that point in the first place is a failure of society in and of itself.
In fiction, technically everyone is redeemable. You can get into the heads of the bad guys and do basically whatever you want with them. Fiction should be responsible when dealing with real-world issues that affect real people, but it does not have to be morally didactic. Sometimes there just... isn’t an easy, morally didactic answer for dealing with morally complicated characters or situations. And more importantly, sometimes the morally didactic answer isn’t the narratively interesting answer. 9 out of 10 times, what’s more interesting to read about? A horrible villain being put to death, or a horrible villain being forced to live and grow?
Some hypothetical examples to ponder, purely in the context of fiction.
Horrible war criminal villain with a body count in the millions has all memories of their crimes wiped, or is forcibly brainwashed into being a better person. Setting aside the ethics of brainwashing: are they still required to “repent”? Would a victim still be justified in seeking penance from this guilt-free shell? Would this change at all depending on who was responsible for the mind-wipe?
More realistic: horrible war criminal villain with a body count in the millions straight up retires. Gets older. Bloodlust, national zeal, whatever once motivated them to do such evil loses its edge. They fall in love. Start a family. As they grow as a person, learn the value of life, the weight of their crimes starts to sink in. They atone in little ways, through little random acts of kindness and helping the people around them, but for one reason or another (not wanting to risk harm to their family, knowing they’ll be tortured for information? you decide) don’t turn themselves into the proper justice system and are never punished. Should they be punished, or allowed to continue existing? Would this change at all depending on the surrounding political circumstances, i.e.: whether their public execution would hold any symbolic value, whether affected groups are calling for their death? Does it matter at all in deciding justice whether this hypothetical villain feels personal guilt or regret over their war crimes? Why or why not?
Child villains. IRL there are documented cases of violent crime in children as young as grade school age, not all of whom had violent backgrounds. Should they be held to the same standards as adult villains, even if the scale of their crimes are the same? What’s the cutoff age? Are all villains under 18 capable of rehabilitation, no matter how horrible their crimes? How about 16? 14? 12? What about villains whose ages aren’t really clear, ie Cell from DBZ being like, six?
How much does backstory matter? Should it matter if there’s a good reason someone is Like That, or should their actions be judged as-is? It doesn’t matter to the victims whether or not the villain had a bad childhood, right? Moreover, does it matter at all whether someone is “fundamentally a good person,” at least insofar as genuinely caring about the people around them and caring about a moral code? People do evil things for reasons other than “being evil people.”
Morally bankrupt person who regularly fantasizes violent harm on the people around them, wholly selfish with no love for any other human being, fundamentally incapable of meaningful self-reflection or growth. Just a complete piece of shit all around. But they never have, and never will, commit any crimes, either due to some divine ordinance or just plain self-preservation/fear of getting caught. They might, at worst, just be a toxic asshole, but not one who holds any power over others. Should they be punished solely for their moral character, rather than actions?
There aren’t always easy answers. It’s okay to acknowledge that, and it’s okay to tackle hard moral questions like this in fiction. And I hate seeing this boiled down to “stop trying to redeem villains who are Actually Horrible People” or whatever. Especially in kids’ media which takes an optimistic stance on people being capable of change in the first place. Y’all gotta stop holding it to the same level of moral realism as gritty stuff for adults.
On the whole, I think we should do away with the term “redemption” in the context of morality entirely. Like redemption arc, redemption equals death, what does that mean? It implies one has sufficiently made up for their past deeds, that that’s the gold standard, but is that really ever possible? Like I said, there’s not a cosmic good deeds | bad deeds counter for every person, or at least not one that living people have any way of knowing about. And that’s a flawed way of thinking to begin with. Those bad deeds can never be erased, ever. There plenty of examples of villains who commit crimes they can never realistically atone for. Regardless of whether they want to atone in the first place, it’s like I said: in fiction, it’s often just... more fun to force them to live and deal with the consequences. But on the flipside, there are so, so many people who see themselves as “good” and use that to justify their own bad deeds. Which ties back into what I said about the whole discourse reeking of Christian moral philosophy, because lmfao @ corruption in the catholic church.
The point is. There are shades of grey. Not everything has to be a full-blown bad guy to good guy redemption arc. You don’t need to “properly atone for your sins” to be worthy of life or love.
Here are some better questions to ask than “is this character redeemable”:
Is it believable, from what we know of this villain as a character, that they are capable of becoming a good, law-abiding citizen?
How about capable of love?
Guilt?
Are they capable of any personal growth whatsoever?
Are they capable of being a positive impact on the lives of the people around them?
Is it actively harmful to leave them alive, even with clipped wings?
Is it interesting to leave them alive?
How morally didactic is the narrative as a whole?
How much forgiveness are they offered, versus how much could they possibly ever deserve?
How abstracted is this character from reality, ie: are there any real world parallels that make it uncomfortable to frame this character in a sympathetic light? (be careful not to fall into a black and white abuser/victim dichotomy)
Would further punishment or suffering be productive? (Productive, not justified, that’s a key distinction--punishment for its own sake is just pointless cruelty.)
Even the most vile, irredeemable bastards can still be dragged like... an inch. And that’s still a fun and valuable story in and of itself, even if it’s nothing remotely approaching a redemption arc and they’d very much still deserve to rot in Hell by the end of it. I don’t believe Hell is real, as much as I personally wish it were sometimes, but like. If it were, or in fictional universes where it is.
But also, there really are some characters and botched “redemption arcs” that just come off insanely uncomfortable. And there is a subjective aspect to that as well, but more than once I’ve seen people say “X villain did not deserve redemption/forgiveness” and 9 times out of 10 I’m like “that’s... really not what they got, though?”
It’s complicated.
#idk how coherent it is#i just saw a tweet that annoyed me#''villains deserve happiness and redemption arcs *guy who murdered 20 million people* no not him''#i don't even entirely disagree but it's... complicated#musings
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Day 19 & 20!
Day 19 - “I hate it when...”
As you’ve gleaned from prior posts, I hate it when you forget autism is a developmental disorder and not an intellectual one. We are so. Fucking. Tired. Of being treated as lesser, or like we don’t understand what you’re saying to us.
Outside of the reactions to others’ behavior, though, I have some personal “I hate it when”...I’ve let you into my mind and told you what I appreciate about how my brain works, but there are things I don’t like, for sure.
I hate that personal stressor things trigger a toddler-like need to SHUT DOWN. Like writing this blog, for example...the vulnerability I feel usually leads to a need to go to sleep for a long time, once I’m finished. Or after a long day socializing. I don’t want to talk to anyone, I don’t want to engage my brain anymore, I just need to shut all systems down and sleep. Especially if there’s been a meltdown (meltdown—->shutdown)...and oh boy do I hate meltdowns. They’re really rare, thank dog.
I hate that my executive function is an absolute bag of ass. This is probably the biggest thing I would change. It got infinitely worse when my disability got bad (EDS), for some reason. And it drives me up the damn wall.
I hate my low function days/moments. It’s like my brain just won’t kick into gear, or the gears and wheels are rusty and grinding, & it’s rather anxiety inducing. I usually “hide” on my low days, sometimes in my darkened bedroom, and watch favorite shows or movies, or get lost in a good book - if I can. On low days I find myself re-reading crap constantly because it’s not making any sense, so I’ll even avoid complicated recipes...I have no idea why these days/moments happen, but boy do they piss me off/make me anxious (that’s kind of the same thing for me. My anxiety nearly always manifests as anger). On my low days, you’ll see (if you were a fly on the wall, because I suppress this even around my own family), me walking in tight, anxious figure 8’s and flapping my hands in a distressed way, as I anxiously try to mentally kick my brain into gear. (It doesn’t work, but it IS a little soothing. And my dogs are SO sweet...they gather around me tightly and just seem to know I need them.)
🤷🏻♀️ There’s probably more I could expound on that I don’t like, but writing this one has been pretty distasteful. I try not to dwell on things I hate anymore, so I’ve put this entry down multiple times and come back to it when I’m in a decent frame of mind. I think I’m tired of talking about it now, so I’m gonna just stop talking.....
Which is a good segue into Day 20 -
————————————-
“Communication”
Ahh communication. This entry will be long, because I have a lot to communicate LOL....
Personally, I write far more coherently and eloquently than I speak. My brain goes too fast...I often trip over words; my brain’s three steps ahead of what’s coming out of my mouth and I get scrambled sometimes. I can also take the time to think about what I want to say/HOW I want to say it. Like many autistics, I’m a blurter. LOL...I am constantly trying to remind myself, just because I think it, doesn’t mean I have to say it. This gets a LOT of us in trouble...one of my most memorable examples is, I *loudly* blurted “that’s BULLSHIT!!” in a church one time. (I was speaking on how my devout Methodist grandmother, who regularly takes communion at her church, was not permitted to receive communion in a Catholic church, merely because she isn’t Catholic, despite the fact that this woman is all about some Jesus & a devoted churchgoer - not just on Easter and Christmas.) In my defense, it WAS (IS) bullshit. I just didn’t need to practically yell that in church. As you can imagine, it was like a needle scratching across a record & everyone turned to stare. (My poor husband rescued me.) 🤦🏻♀️ Sigh. It’s a good idea to keep me out of most church services.
I am rather famous (infamous?) for calling bullshit straight to someone’s face, BLUNTLY. It’s out of my mouth before my brain’s “tact gatekeeper” I’ve spent over a decade trying to train is even half awake at his post (it’s a him because my husband is the one who taught me how to use tact in the first place. And it’s a him because said “gatekeeper” is lazy and falls asleep on the job all the time 😆). Have you ever just blurted your honest thoughts and heard shocked gasps or someone just busts out laughing? Yeah. That happens to me regularly. Or uncomfortable chuckles and someone will blink a few times and say, “oohhhkay, well, you could said that a different way.” (My old response to that was, I’m not responsible for what your reaction is to what I say...you’re in charge of your own feelings. I *understand* now how irresponsible and unfeeling that is, and I try to keep that in the front of my mind, even when I’m frustrated and nearly burning up with the desire to speak my thoughts in their raw form, but this is routinely an area I struggle to adapt to...and I am very sorry when I hurt someone I care about.)
On the other side of this same coin though, this is a trait my friends respect deeply, because I’m not cruel hearted or anything. You always know where you stand with me, and I’m the last person to try and lie to you. I SUUUUUCK at lying. And on the rare times when I do, I usually end up eventually telling on myself (this drove my older stepsister NUTS when we were kids, because she liked to do lots of sneaky things, and I don’t have an inherently sneaky nature LOL...so “DO NOT tell momma” was a *serious* risk for her, if she let me tag along 😂). Lying to someone just feels disgusting. Oily. Shameful. I hate lying. Plus, my short term memory is a grabasstic bag of CRAP, so there’s a good chance I won’t remember the lie and get caught anyway. 🤷🏻♀️ My boys also suck at lying or hiding stuff, and generally prefer not to...but I also give them a safe forum to be honest. (I’m sure there’s LOTS of crap I don’t know, but you’d be surprised how much they DO tell me.)
Another thing with me personally is that I go mute sometimes. I’m not being deliberately obstinate. I’m not REFUSING to speak in those moments...sometimes I literally can’t, and the effort of doing so will make me gag, or even projectile vomit. Sounds very dramatic, doesn’t it? It is. (And it annoys the SHIT out of me.) There’s not a fucking thing i can do about it. The movement of my tongue in my mouth will literally begin to trigger my gag reflex, and if I try to power through it, I’m rewarded with my lunch returning to the surface anyway, regardless of my desires, and sometimes rather unexpectedly & violently. USUALLY this happens when I’m uber stressed, but sometimes it seems kind of out of the blue & catches even me off guard. If this happens but I still have something to say, I start texting instead, and explain. Most people - especially my hubby - are very kind when this happens. (I don’t want your pity, I just want you to switch to written communication for a minute until I can figuratively kick the fuck out of the engine in my “speaking center” and get it to work again.) Other times, I will literally get tired of talking. Like my mouth and tongue - and somehow, the “word forming” part of my brain feels physically exhausted (weird, I know, but I also spend the vast majority of my life silent - I am home alone all day, hate talking on the phone, and simply don’t speak much, by choice. So maybe it is actual “mouth fatigue” 😂😂😂 - I’ve stopped eating before because I just got tired of chewing, too, even though I’m still somewhat hungry. 🙄) I am usually *perfectly* happy to keep listening! And I’ll stay engaged in the conversation usually. I am just...done audibly talking. I’ll literally say “my mouth is tired of making the sounds now, but please keep going”...but I think my husband is the only one who doesn’t find this unusual, and rolls with it. It usually happens after a long, animated conversation...instead of winding down, though, it just..stops. If I try to keep going, cue the gagging. I can stay engaged in the conversation if you let me start writing/typing instead of speaking, for my responses. So that’s a “fun” little trait of mine that many neurotypicals find unsettling. Please don’t take it personally. My mouth just doesn’t want to make the words anymore - and I’m probably mostly done adding what I needed to add to the conversation anyway. I’m a great listener when this happens, though. 😆
Communication is a really interesting thing with all of us, because it’s a struggle on one level or another. I will tell you, it’s a frequent topic in my groups. “WHY CAN’T NEUROTYPICALS JUST SAY WHAT THE FUCK THEY MEAN?!?! 😩😩😩” I’m dead serious - you might think, because we’re sensitive (generally), we can’t “handle” it? You’d be so very wrong. What we can’t handle is when you dance around a subject or we have to try and translate what you just said to us (which most of us are not that good at). Just fucking say it! Nine times out of ten, you’ll just get a look of dawning realization and a “oh, shit, okay” response. We can handle it. Just. Say. It. We’ll respect you a lot more in the morning, LOL 😆
I think every autistic has some sort of beef with neurotypicals when it comes to communication (as I’m sure you have yours with us, obviously).
You guys operate under some weird ass rules that we simply don’t understand - especially if you don’t tell us those rules & just expect us to know. Like, if my husband hadn’t patiently taken years to show/teach me how the way I said certain things were hurtful, I would still be in the “yeah she’s cool but she’s kind of an asshole” territory. (I still struggle to grasp this, or at least it still frustrates me....truth is truth, whether it’s an ironclad general fact or your own personal truth - and yes sometimes the truth hurts, but like...I don’t pin any responsibly for that on the truth teller, if that makes sense?)
Working in rescue also helped hone my ability to speak “neurotypically” to others - I work with a LOT of women, and boy do a lot of them NOT appreciate when you bluntly tell them what you think. Men on the other hand....
I know *lots* of autistic women who prefer friendships with men, largely centering around this communication thing. We hurt men’s feelings a little less regularly than other women’s. I know I was like that, until I got a little more used to how I have to modify my communication with most women (but that annoys me, I’m gonna be honest - it annoys my Autie friends, too). The only time I am as starkly blunt as I used to be, is when speaking to my female Autie friends (because they can handle it), or most of the dudes I’m friends with. But if my message is getting “lost in the sauce” and you’re not getting my point, I usually give a frustrated sigh, WARN you that I’m about to tell you flatly what I need to say, because we aren’t getting anywhere, and just say it.
Yes I am the friend who, when you gush on and on about your new back yard bred puppy, talking all about how you’re gonna breed him when he grows up, is gonna flatly say “he’s not breeding quality”, if they’re not. Then I’m gonna ask you why you want to do such a thing, given that you’re aware of the massive load of rescue dogs (PARTICULARLY Great Danes and Cane Corsos) - and probably beat your argument down every step of the way. That doesn’t always go badly though - one of my closest friends was considering breeding their dog, and while it was a beautiful dog, it was not one that should reproduce (from an “improve the breed” perspective). We barely knew each other, but I gained a reputation for being kind but starkly honest...and I knew what I was talking about...and now I have this person’s deep respect, and they have mine (because they listened and did the research I asked them to - and did not add to the breed population). So it’s not *always* a trainwreck, because the people who end up respecting how I communicate, usually end up VERY close friends. AND I WANT THAT IN RETURN, which is refreshing for a LOT of people. I want your dead honesty in return - PLEASE. It’s so much easier for me to process and accept. For example, my house is almost constantly in some sort of disarray. I have one friend who will come in and go, “girl. I almost can’t breathe in here - this clutter is too much”(and then she offers to help me tackle it!!).
Or, fairly recently, “oh my god those curtains are so horrible, I hope you’re getting rid of those when you redo this room.”
“But I MADE those curtains! I love that print!”
“Ugh. No. They’re terrible. Get rid of them.”
My feelings were not hurt in the LEAST (I of course had a flash of “you bitch, I was so excited to find that print and I MADE THOSE, ya jerk” 😂). At first I said, “well you’re just gonna have to suck it up and deal with my shitty curtains, because I like them” 😂, but then as I was redoing the room, I took them down...and it DID look a lot better, so I left them down 😂😂😂....
So I guess my point with all this is: every autie I know deeply wishes you’d just fucking spit it out. We WILL often miss or misinterpret the point if you “fluff” it too much (around my neck of the woods, we call it putting too much gild on the lily, though I’ve never understood that one. Idk if a “gilded lily” is/was ever a thing, why anyone would gild a lily in the first place...LOTS of us struggle with colloquialisms that don’t make literal sense. 😆 Recently a friend was baffled over “shit in one hand and wish in the other and see which fills up faster”, and fully half of the respondents to her post were people baffled by why anyone would shit in their hand - I and a couple others had to explain, and it just ended with them going “well that’s a fucking stupid saying anyway, and wishes aren’t things you can put in your hands, either” 😂😂😂...but I’m from the south, and these things are just part of our vocab. MOST of them are easy to grasp for me, like “nervous as a long tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs”, because I immediately picture it and can grasp the meaning. But others I don’t get - the gilded lily is one LOL)...
We are LITERAL AS FUCK. It’s why we ruin lots of jokes, too. My poor husband is the dad joke king - and I ruin fully 1/3 or more of his jokes by being too literal (which he also finds amusing, so that’s good). Sometimes we realize we’re ruining the joke but we don’t care, because it’s dumb, or we just .... can’t....HELP IT. 😩😂
Jeez, I could almost write all day about autistics and communication LOL!!
But to summarize (and not succinctly, sorry), I guess, for me and many many others...we are often blunt, direct, almost painfully honest, and very, very literal. Your unspoken rules of communication absolutely go over our heads, unless you - yannow - *communicate* and explain them. We’ll probably tell you those rules are stupid and exhausting, but we will TRY and stick to it as best we can. But see, we literally have to think about every single word that comes out of our mouths, because we communicate far more directly than you weird fuckers do. And it is literally actually exhausting. It’s not an easily natural thing for us to adapt to, your weird way of saying things but not saying what you really mean. You’re wasting a LOT of words there, sir, and we are now getting obsessively confused over why you would do such a thing. 😂 It’s also why I keep getting banned from Facebook. My recent one was because I said - in one of my Autie “safe” groups, where I should be able to just say what I mean - that I tend to punch or want to punch people who deliberately startle the shit out of me. We were talking about how stupid April Fool’s Day was, and how we hate pranks. Three of us got banned for 30 days for just...well. Facebook called it “incitement of violence”. 🙄🥺🖕🏼🖕🏼🖕🏼🖕🏼🖕🏼🖕🏼🖕🏼🖕🏼
But I haven’t met - yet, maybe? - an autistic person who is cruel natured - not one of us gets any joy from being a bully type. WE feel everything on a higher level, so we kind of assume you do, too...you might think, “then why are you such an asshole?!”, but it’s simply that we - or every Autie I know, anyway - struggle to grasp how directly communicating your feelings is so fuckin hard or hurtful for y’all. I think anyone struggles to grasp something they themselves don’t experience. All you have to do is explain, though, and keep guiding us towards communicating in ways that we both find acceptable. I mean we’re champs at accepting all manner of different human - regardless of race, sexuality, and so on - but the communication is one area that frustrates the ever loving SHIT out of most of us, because it makes so little logical sense why anyone would say a bunch of useless words that muddy up their intent.
My closing advice? Help Your Pet Autie ™️ (this is absolutely a tongue in cheek term btw) understand how you’d like to be communicated with, and guide us. BE SPECIFIC for fucks sake - we suck at guessing what you might want, and it’s so frustrating that we’ll often just stop communicating at all. Instead of saying “it hurts me when you say this”, try saying “the WAY you said this hurt my feelings because of ____. Maybe you could put it like this instead” (or, “you know, you should really just keep shit like that to yourself”) and *give examples*. Don’t expect us to come up with different ways of saying shit, because we don’t understand what it is specifically you want, and it’s not very logical, therefore it’s not “natural” for us. Plus, everyone is different. I can’t talk to one of my sons the same way I can talk to the other, without certain negative reactions. Give us a chance to know your needs - we DO CARE!!! - but be CLEAR. I know in your world, tact is a big deal, but MOST of us will miss the fucking point if you’re too tactful (and when we misinterpret, we always err on the side of worst case scenario, and make the issue wayyyyy bigger than it should be. Being clear is soooo important).
And hey. Maybe it’ll help clear up some communication in other areas of your life. Being clear isn’t a license to be a fucking asshole; nobody’s giving you a license to unleash on everyone about how much you can’t stand humans...if WE hafta be quiet about that, so do you lmao...fair’s fair. 😆 But quit hedging and hinting and hoping we will pick up on the whatever your grievance is - because we won’t. We’ll just know you’re unhappy, and start panicking over guessing what we did wrong, and just shut down, because we have no idea.
Just. Fucking. Say it. 😘
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wish you were sober - songfic
Note: I just want to make it clear that I have absolutely NO intention of demonizing addiction with this story. With that being said, here’s a songfic I wrote that is PURE angst and mostly just a vent. Find me on AO3 at soleil_louise !!
This party’s shit, wish we could dip
Go anywhere but here
Trixie had gotten dragged along to yet another party with Katya. She didn’t even like going to them. She hated the noise, hated the smell of alcohol, hated being stared at by people who barely knew her, let alone liked her. She was only there for Katya, who had disappeared to “get another drink” over half an hour ago.
This wasn’t an irregular occurrence. Katya would beg Trixie to come to these parties with her, and Trixie would agree, only for her sake. Katya almost always abandoned her halfway through, until she needed a ride home at the end of the night. Trixie sipped on the one beer she was allowing herself tonight.
Don’t take a hit, don’t kiss my lips
And please don’t drink more beer
The idea of a one beer allowance was something completely alien to Katya, who always got completely trashed at parties. That was the entire point of going, she had explained to Trixie once. Getting drunk was just part of the fun, they were teenagers, damn it.
Trixie couldn’t agree less- nothing sounded less fun to her than being drunk. The idea of not being in control of her body terrified her. What if someone tried to attack her, and she wasn’t able to fight them off? What if someone put something in her drink? What if she got hurt?
I’ma crawl out the window now
‘Cause I don’t like anyone around
Kinda hope you’re following me out
But this is definitely not my crowd
Trixie desperately wanted to leave. It was 11:30, she was tired, and her feet hurt from the heels she had squeezed them into. Her dress was uncomfortable, and it was way too loud here. She could barely think over the blasting music. How were they not getting noise complaints?
She knew she couldn’t leave, though. She had to be there to make sure Katya was safe. She had to drive them home, and she would never forgive herself if Katya had gotten in the car with a stranger, or worse, tried to drive herself home. God forbid something happened to her. Trixie couldn’t bear the thought of her best friend getting hurt, no matter how many times Katya hurt her.
Nineteen but you act twenty-five now
Knees weak but you talk pretty proud, wow
Ripped jeans and a cup that you just downed
Take me where the music ain’t too loud
It wasn’t that Katya was just drinking to be irresponsible. It made her confident. Happy, even. No matter how awful it was to say, Trixie didn’t think she’d ever seen Katya as happy as she was when she went to parties. Sober, she was an anxious wreck. Always scared to say the wrong thing, always worrying about what people thought about her. Drinking helped her loosen up. It made her feel like she felt like she could do anything.
Trixie had brought up how unhealthy that was to her once. Katya had gotten defensive- saying that it’s not her business how she helps herself. Trixie was a mess of anxiety as well, Katya was just the one doing something about it. She had apologized almost immediately, but it still hurt. Trixie now knew better than to try to solve her problems.
Trade drinks but you don’t even know her
Save me ‘til the party is over
Katya hadn’t always been so reckless. The first few times, she just got tipsy. But as time went on, she got more and more reckless with it. Drinking at parties turned into drinking after school. Two drinks turned into three, turned into five, turned into more than Trixie could count. Dancing with her friends turned into doing things she knew she’d regret, if she remembered them by morning.
This made Trixie so angry. She just wanted to yell at her, tell her that she was ruining her life. Katya could end up hurt, or worse. Trixie feared the day that she heard about a drunk driving accident on the news, or the night that Katya ends up in the wrong place with the wrong people at the end of a party. She just wanted to protect her, but she didn’t know how.
Kiss me in the seat of your rover
It had happened after one of the first parties they went to. At least, that was the first time it happened. They had driven Katya’s car there. At the end of the night, Trixie drove Katya home, and that’s when it happened.
Katya’s mouth tasted like vodka, cigarette smoke, and red lipstick, but Trixie didn’t care. Katya kissed with a hunger that Trixie had never experienced before. They made out in her car for nearly half an hour, until Katya had tried to take it further and Trixie had to break it off. There was no way she was gonna do anything more than kiss Katya right now, while she was drunk and Trixie was most definitely not.
That one time turned into two, turned into three, turned into almost every party they went to. It almost always ended with Katya pouncing on Trixie, and Trixie giving in. No matter how upset and tired Trixie was at the end of the night, Katya always felt like safety and warmth.
Real sweet but I wish you were sober
Katya never remembered it the day after it happened. If she did, she never brought it up.
Trixie always remembered. God, did she remember. Those moments played in her head over and over every night. The things she felt for Katya were more than just drunk makeouts in a car. More than just flirty glances. She wanted to hold Katya, wanted to make her feel safe. She wanted to kiss her during the day. Hold her hand in public. But Katya never remembered. Sometimes it felt more like she was choosing to forget.
Tripped down the road, walking home
You kissed me at your door
It hurt Trixie more than anything to know that Katya only felt that way towards her when she was drunk. To know that no matter how in love with her she is, Katya will never feel the same way. Almost every night, she lay awake, wondering why. Why wasn’t she enough for Katya unless she was drunk? Was she just another drunk hookup for her, another pretty girl to kiss and then ignore? Why didn’t she want her?
Pulling me close, begged me to stay over
But I’m over this rollercoaster
Even more than she felt hurt, she felt angry. She tried, time after time, to show Katya how in love with her she was. She had been trying for years. But she never cared. Never wanted her unless she got wasted first. Trixie put so much effort into being good enough for her. She dragged herself to these parties, had practically begged Katya to hang out with her. But it was never enough, was it? She was never enough.
I’ma crawl out the window now
Getting good at saying “gotta bounce”
Honestly you always let me down
And I know we’re not just hanging out
Katya barely even wanted to see her anymore. Rarely answered her calls, never met her for lunch like they used to. She had better friends now, better things to do. People who weren’t smothering her, people who weren’t “too much”. Trixie barely saw her outside of parties at this point, and even then, Katya usually abandoned her halfway through, until she’d show up and try to make it up to Trixie by making out with her.
Nineteen but you act twenty-five now
Knees weak but you talk pretty proud, wow
Katya just got to have all of the fun, didn’t she? She got to lead Trixie on, kissing her at parties, holding on to her waist like she was hers. She didn’t have to deal with any of the guilt, or the responsibility, or the insecurity. She just got to do what she wanted, and have what she wanted, and she knew Trixie would hand it over to her at any moment.
Why did she do that? Why did she always give in to her? Trixie knew that she would just be nothing to her the next morning, but she made the same mistakes every night that they went out, kissing the girl she was so hopelessly in love with until her brain turned to TV static. She just wanted Katya to care about her. To love her, to take care of her the way she deserved.
Trade drinks but you don’t even know her
Save me ‘til the party is over
She was going to give Katya a piece of her mind. This ended tonight. She was done being lead on, done with not being cared about. The was fucking over it.
She saw Katya standing in the kitchen, refilling her cup and talking with some girls that Trixie knew as the “new friends”.
“We need to talk. Outside. Now.” Trixie said, trying to hold her ground. Katya giggled when she saw her.
“Hi babydoll, what’s up? Did you miss me?” the girl asked, her words slightly slurred. Trixie grabbed her arm.
“We’re going outside. Come on.”
Trixie led Katya outside, looking for a place that wasn’t infested with horny, drunk teenagers and that no drunk girls had thrown up in. She settled on the driveway of the house that tonight’s party was being held at.
“What are we out here for, baby? The party’s in there. Did you miss me too much, doll? Couldn’t wait?” Katya teased. Trixie’s face burned red as her fists clenched in anger.
“What the fuck is wrong with you, Katya? You can’t just lead me on like this! You can’t fucking do that! You know how I feel, and I’m fucking over it.”
Katya frowned.
“Baby, I know you don’t mean that. Come here, okay?” Katya responded. Trixie felt tears stinging her eyes, but moved closer to Katya, who leaned in.
Kiss me in the seat of your rover
Real sweet but I wish you were sober
The night ended with the two of them making out, again. Nothing changed, of course. Trixie drove a drunk Katya home, who would ignore her in the morning. She drove home with a feeling of emptiness in her chest. Like her heart had been ripped out again, a fresh wound replacing what had just begun to heal over.
If she didn’t have anything, at least she had these nights. Maybe that was all she deserved, she thought. Maybe this was all she needed. She didn’t need anything else. She could survive.
#trixya#trixya fanfiction#trixya fanfic#fanfiction#fanfic#trixie mattel#katya zamolodchikova#trixie x katya#trixie mattel x katya zamolodchikova#rpdr#rpdr fanfic#rpdr fanfiction#rupauls drag race#drag race fanfic#drag race fanfiction
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Kendo AU: Characterisation Notes
So I found some notes on how I wanted to characterise characters that weren't shown all that much in canon because they're, well, dead. We're barely given any info about them or their personalities, so this is just something to keep myself on track when I write them.
They're also all part of a friend circle of their own. I call them Posthumous Pals.
Sabito
▪18, first year university student, studying criminology
▪Hot-tempered, but doesn't hold grudges and forgives and forgets easily. His anger usually comes from a place of concern. Always nagging at Giyū and Makomo for being flighty, irresponsible or forgetful.
▪"Makomo, did you forget to pay your phone bills again" "Oi, Giyū, how many hours did you sleep last night? You look like shit" "Am I your alarm clock? Get up already!" "DON'T TELL ME YOU BOTH FORGOT THERE WAS A TEST TODAY OH MY GOD"
▪Actual Mum Friend. He's a little mad about it, but he cannot stop himself. Considering how often he has to remind them to eat or force them to study...his childhood friends really are useless without him.
▪TSUNDERE
▪Ultimately a nice guy, but his people skills could use work. He can get a bit standoffish and even scary. Still has a better rep than Giyū, though
▪Passionate but overzealous. He can be very overwhelming sometimes and unwittingly intimidates juniors. He used to tutor Tanjirō and his siblings as a side job and ended up scaring them...
▪Very hardworking and driven! He's the kind of guy who has a clear aim in life and probably a 10 year plan on how to get to where he wants to be. It makes him clash with Giyū and Makomo a bit, since they're either too unsure or carefree, but he's just worried for their future.
▪Unwilling straight man of his childhood friend group. Often the sole voice of reason and common sense.
▪Has feelings for Makomo for ages but stubbornly refuses to say anything to keep the status quo (Giyū's tired, send help)
Makomo
▪18, first year university student, studying arts
▪Between fiery, disciplined Sabito and melancholic, disgruntled Giyū, Makomo is the nice middle ground with a serene, gentle temperament.
▪She's probably too calm, if you ask Sabito. It comes with the downside of not taking anything seriously. Makomo has a tendency to brush off her friends' worries. Sometimes it helps temper Sabito and Giyū's anxiety; sometimes it infuriates them. A double-edged sword.
▪Has a hidden impish side. She likes to make fun of both Sabito and Giyū. Giyū gets disproportionately dramatic over it and accuses her of "emotionally profiting off of [his] distress."
▪Despite seeming the least obsessed with kendo compared to her friends, Makomo was actually the one to drag them into it...
▪Can come across as lazy because she doesn't have the same sense of purpose or drive as Sabito. She's also a bit spoiled and likes being pampered. Some might pin the blame on her godfather and mentor Urokodaki
▪Acts like the friendly, reliable onee-chan to her juniors and is the only senior Obanai actually likes but will shamelessly behave childishly in front of Giyū and Sabito. They don't like admitting that they also get childish in retaliation.
▪Of the three, Makomo is the best with people and their assigned PR manager though she can act distant without realising it. Has the kind of face where she always looks like she has something on her mind. People sometimes feel that she's a bit unapproachable because it's almost like they're interrupting something...
▪Gets bright-eyed and very chatty if someone brings up anything relating to arts, sculptures or dancing.
Kochō Kanae
▪18, first year university student, studying medical science
▪Poster child of the Genki Girl trope and child prodigy who makes you question your life's accomplishments
▪Kanae is one of those people who masters everything with little effort. She's not even the respectable hard worker type like Sabito or Shinobu; she just doesn't need to work too hard and still makes it anyway. Has never seriously struggled with anything.
▪Also filthy, disgustingly rich. She's a born heiress to a large pharmaceutical conglomerate and was spoiled by loving parents. Truly born with a silver spoon in her mouth.
▪Very cheerful and kind! She's the sort of person who likes to make children laugh, helps the elderly cross the street and makes sure no one feels left out. Probably visits orphanages and campaigns for environmental awareness or something.
▪Beautiful! Intelligent! Accomplished! Compassionate! How can someone be this perfect?
▪Unfortunately, she's also BIG CHAOTIC DUMB, has no financial sense, naive, incredibly unreliable, can be an obnoxious do-gooder and is notoriously lacking in common sensibilities. Absolutely cannot function in the real world without Shinobu. Even her boyfriend's very first impression of her was "rich idiot without a day job."
▪Everyone thinks "how on earth did Sanemi trick her into a relationship with him?" But no one thinks "how on earth did Kanae trick him into a relationship with her?"
▪Ironically, despite being rather dysfunctional individuals by their own, Kanae and Sanemi seem to have a fairly stable, calm relationship. It wasn't so in the beginning, though
▪More wise than you'd expect, but too bad you'd hardly see that side of her. She's too busy being a disaster.
Rengoku Kyōjurō
Not posthumous, in the sense that he doesn't die before the series but during it, but he's here anyway because he kicked it so quick smh rip ren
▪17, third year high school student, captain of his kendo club and also the star pupil of the Fire Branch
▪Gender-bent version of Kanae in that he's explosively cheerful and full of endless optimism and energy. Everyone fears them when they're together. The genki is too powerful...
▪Big Brother Energy™
▪He's your go-to guy if you have any troubles and need a listening ear, or a helping hand, or honest criticism, or just some advice. Anything you need, he is here!
▪Despite appearing well-adjusted, however, he's not as untouchable as he looks. Like everyone his age, he has some anxiety and fears over the future and impending adulthood. He has a hard time confiding in anyone, though, because he's so used to being the one relied on.
▪Big case of Mama's Boy Syndrome. He'll drop everything for her. Due to her weak health, he really worries about his mother.
▪Because the Fire Branch has close ties with the Water Branch, he sees the others fairly often. He's at his most chatty with Kanae, Shinobu and Sabito (though even Sabito gets worn out after a while) and is one of the few who genuinely likes Giyū, despite his social missteps and bumbling. Makomo and Obanai try to escape at first sight of him; they seldom succeed.
▪"He's like cough medicine. Good for you if you're feeling bad, but best taken in small doses."
▪Between him and Mitsuri, the Fire Branch easily has the most welcoming and encouraging atmosphere of all the dojos.
Kumeno Masachika
▪20, third year university student, studying psychology and sociology
▪Step aside, Kyōjurō, the real big brother is here.
▪He's old and experienced enough to actually have some of his shit together by now. Or maybe university has worn him out.
▪He has all of Makomo's unflappability, but without her flippancy. All of Sabito's responsibility, without his anxiety. Friendly as Kyōjurō without being overwhelming, realistic as Giyū without giving into pessimism and charismatic as Kanae without being unreachable. In short: the most down-to-earth, well-balanced, and least dysfunctional person within a 20 mile radius.
▪It makes him a bit of an odd sight in the Wind Branch, in between Sanemi's hair-trigger temper and Inosuke's obscene screaming. Legends say his calm is to overcompensate for the level of unbridled feral energy in the Wind Branch...
▪In truth, he's the scariest one amongst them if he does get angry. His juniors actually write apology notes to him if this happens, like young children who've just disappointed their favourite teacher.
▪Otherwise, he wins the award of Most Chill. He gets frequently deployed if they need someone to defuse tension. An important duty, when one considers that the Wind Branch is the most competitive, aggressive of the dojos.
▪Speaks a bit dryly, though it feels personable rather than snarky.
▪The dojo master of the Wind Branch is apparently trying to harangue him into being the next, though he's resisting because he wants to "go teach kids or something."
▪Maybe it's only fitting, since the rest of the Wind Branch already gave him plenty of experience at shepherding unruly children.
#kny fanfic#sabito#makomo#kochou kanae#rengoku kyoujurou#kumeno masachika#kny spoilers#i doubt anyone doesnt know rengoku dies but lets slap that tag on anyway for anime watchers#me at masachika: god i wish that were me#kanae really be that 'always another asian better than you' meme#sabito is just tsundere and mum friend. i've broken him down to his bare essentials#kny kendo au#kendo au#...i forgot which tag i was using rip#posthumous pals#thats a tag now
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Me explaining my mha kins to the best of my ability-?
uhh idk
I honestly had started ranting about my kins out loud earlier so I thought 'why not make it into a tumblr post?'
so this is me doing that lol
Bakugo: I'm an insecure bitch. That's it. (I also have the mouth of a sailor.) Ok but really? I've been told that I'm aggressive, intimidating, and most of the time people tell me they were scared of me when they first met me. Also I've been told countless times that I look scary but people talk to me because my clothing choices say the opposite. I also think I'm worse than everyone. Like all the time. But if there are things I know I'm better at I flex it like a million bucks because holy shit the validation to know that I'm not that useless. Plus I cover up all my insecurities with a blanket of false confidence 95% of the time. I'm also blind to anything relationship wise and can hardly tell the difference between platonic and romantic which I highly hc him as also being blind too bc it just makes sense (also makes me feel better but we aren't talking about that right now.)
Kirishima: I'm the mom friend. Totally doesn't seem like it? Considering I'm the most irresponsible of all the people I associate myself with. But I'm the one people come to first when they need help. Including my parents which is kinda scary cause if I need help I'm more than likely fucked. Anyways, I'm energetic even when I don't wanna be. That's where the blanket of false confidence comes into play y'all. Sometimes I act overly confident like Bakugo, but there are also times where I just declare I'm gonna do my best and end up failing like Kirishima. I also voice my insecurities quite often around the people I know I can get validation from. I also always end up becoming friends with the people everyone hates unless I have a reason to also hate said person.
Sero: I'm plain and overlooked like Sero. It hurts? But tis true. Also gifted kid burn-out. I tend to be chill in situations where the majority of people would be freaked out but I freak out in chill situations. I'm also the person everyone either forgets about or straight up doesn't know I'm there unless I make my presence known. I am perfectly fine with it though even though I'm insecure about it. I'm also a nervous talker (as this could be seen as a Deku kinnie thing I refuse to label myself as a Deku kinnie no matter how much I relate to the fucker.)
Shinsou: I have no clue what a sleep schedule is. I don't sleep unless I absolutely can't fight it. I also have insomnia. I mentioned this earlier but gifted kid burnout. I feel the need to work twice as hard as everyone else does even if I don't need to. I'm an ambivert but I prefer to be alone when I have the chance. Originally didn't want friends but now I'm emotionally attached to people :,)
Denki: I constantly fidget and hate being called stupid/dumb. I'm also a very touchy person even though I hate being touched if I'm not the one to instigate it. I am in fact touch-starved. I'm loud even though I hate it. I'm told I'm social and charismatic even though I'm also socially awkward and dislike social situations. I do know how to talk to people though. I'm not that good in most subjects (even though I had straight A's all the time before the whole burnout thing) but I've never had a grade lower than an A in literature and english/grammar. Typically seen as the most annoying person to be around (especially if I'm talking about things I'm passionate about. Also when I'm being aggressive cause it mixes and it's weird.) I also wear chokers all the time and finger gun my way out of every awkward situation I put myself in.
Toga: If I get passionate about something it becomes an obsession. Like an unhealthy obsession. I tend to whine a lot? I also have a weird fascination and whether this makes me more of a Toga kinnie or just a creep is still to be determined. I like knives (I can't explain this at all and I'm sorry for that.) I'm very jumpy whether it's from excitement or just me being bubbly depends on the situation. I like talking about death for some reason. People that I end up having romantic feelings become all that I think about (not in a romantic or cheesy way I've been told its lowkey annoying and creepy.) Also gender envy? Like with her whole "wanting to become the people she loves" thing? I suffer from that but in the form of gender envy and wishing I was that person because their cool and I'm a loser.
I REFUSE TO ADMIT I'M A DEKU KINNIE BUT
Deku: If I really care about something I'd die for it. I'm ok with risking my life for pretty much anything as long as it makes sense to me. I talk to myself in a very similar fashion to the way he mutters to himself. If I get emotionally invested I will risk everything to make someone feel better (I mean how he handle Todoroki's trauma.) I tend to rant on things I hyper fixate on/am really passionate about. I guess I work hard? In passing conversations I've heard multiple times that people are jealous of me? Also it scares me the amount of times people have confessed that they had a crush on me. But like never when they do?? Like I get confessions a year or so later. Or from other people they tell me that someone else used to/still likes me. I'm also known as a problem child when it comes to pretty much any adult in my life.
I hate how long the Deku one is
IM NOT A DEKU KINNIE I SWEAR WTF
I feel like I kin to many people from mha but it might be that it's my current hyper fixation
I think the only other animes/form of medias that I know I kin someone from are Sk8 (I'm a Miya kinnie), Magnus Chase (I kin Alex and honestly it's the kin I'm most proud of), Monster High (this was years ago and im just now thinking about it but probably Clawdeen) and probably HoO cause like Nico.
#mha#i kin way to many mha characters#also i hate how detailed these are#mostly the bakugo one cause wtf#also i cant tell if most of these are just signs of undiagnosed adhd or if im just wack asf#like i wanna get tested for adhd??#but like my mom wont let me cause she 'knows i dont' even tho shes the one who brought up the fact i have some of the ig symptoms?#like i just wanna get tested so that i can figure out why tf i am the way i am#cant focus for shit unless its like a hyper fixation that i legit cant stop my focus on#cant sit still for more than five minutes#even tho i could just be gay cause i manspread like a mf#but i fidget all the goddamn time#like wtf#if i like something most of the time i become obsessed and learn everything about it#WITH FNAF BEING THE ONLY EXCEPTION BC I ENDED UP JUST BEING REALLY INTO THE MUSIC AND WATCHING MARKIPLIER PLAY IT#never learned about the lore#well the complex lore#i have a markiplier level knowledge of the lore#compared to like a game theory level knowledge#but like my monster high/ever after high hyper fixation lasted like a year#at some point i had a Rhianna hyper fixation?#like the amount of school projects i somehow managed to flip the rules about just so i could write about her is concerning to me#then we have the all things riordanverse hyper fixation#that one was interesting#cause holy shit i was on wattpad 24/7#and now im here with mha :#kinda hate it ngl#cause like its all i talk about#ive spent more than 500$ on t-shirts and shit with mha characters on it#and thats not even the only kind of mha stuff i buy
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so... about an month ago, you did a couple of posts on claire x kevin X jack, and i was wondering if you had any other thoughs on it?? and ofc, i hope ur doing wonderful!!
aww, thank you! I am Not doing wonderful, but that’s the chronic pain life for ya. this ask makes me happy tho!!
So Claire x Kevin x Jack is just. Such chaos, wow.
First of all? They’re all sort of adults but none of them knows how to do adult things. Paying rent? Cooking? Doing laundry? WHEN did they have time to learn that, I ask? Kevin knew once, but a. he can’t do ALL the chores and b. does he even remember? When was the last time the poor man even SAW a dishwasher? Claire’s the one with the most common sense knowledge, and Jack has magic powers but they want to do things the ordinary human way. They can’t just have Jack magically clean the dishes all the time. That seems irresponsible, like a poor use of his phenomenal cosmic powers.
So Jody and Dean get a LOT of calls about dishwasher soap vs dish soap, how to clean clothes (and then finding out they’d washed dry clean only items, JACK COME MAGIC THIS BETTER!!)
And Claire looks like she should be this ray of adorable sunshine but in reality she’s absolutely feral, and Jack is the ray of sunshine.
All of them, it should be noted, are completely feral. I’m just picturing Kevin calmly eating his ribs as crowley blasts in the door on the fake garth boat, with godrock scribbles on the walls, this man does NOT remember how to be normal. He will absolutely stare down his husband, who is god, and his other husband, who is the daughter of the vessel of the Most Extra angel in the history of ever, who has traveled to other worlds, and be like WHO was supposed to take out the recycling??? He has no fear, in other words. He also has no concept of human limitations which is fine for Jack and not so fine for Claire and Kevin himself.
Jack will be like “Kevin :) :) sweetheart :) :) come eat. you’ve been working all day :)!” and Claire will just throw Kevin over her shoulder in a fireman’s carry to their kitchen or bed.
This family does NOT understand gender. Like, at all. Claire has to steal dresses from Jack sometimes for hunts. Kevin sort of understands gender but he’s Too Tired to care.
Claire is very much the embodiment of “affection is disgusting. drown me in it”.
The beginning of their relationship is really rocky, and it almost just. completely falls apart. I don’t know if they have a moment of shining clarity or if they get cursed, but they all sit down and Claire and Kevin are like “look, I don’t know how to ask for affection” and Jack doesn’t know what normal human affection looks like? But he is very tactile and want to be touching someone pretty much all the time. Anyway they figure out they’re shit at communicating and basically schedule time to talk about their feelings. And they start texting and leaving notes for each other. like texting jack “hey i need a hug” and Jack will glomp on to them. It takes some getting used to for Claire and Kevin, who have spent the last however many years of their lives in TRAUMA TRAUMA TRAUMA but eventually these soft little bits of themselves slowly peep out of the hard shells they’ve been living in and it’s just. claire sneakily going to hold jack’s hand. kevin coming up behind jack to hug him. and eventually it just goes COMPLETELY the other way, like, they will NOT stop touching each other. “PDA” has no meaning. No concepts of personal space in this house.
they just. make me feel EMOTIONS because Jack is this perpetual font of pure love and optimism and awe for humanity despite being the devil’s son, and Claire and Kevin are so human, and they’ve been hurt so much and been through so much trauma and given up SO MUCH. They were normal, once, and Claire in particular has had so many experiences taken away from her. so you have these two people who were normal and this being who wasn’t normal but is living a more stable life than the others, and just. Jack, of all people, providing normalcy and stability for Kevin and Claire DOES things to me.
And the fact that of the three of them, Kevin is the only one who MIGHT have SOME idea of Normal Human Rituals. He went to high school, he was planning for college, his mom was a supportive and loving presence in his life. He probably got his driving permit when he was sixteen and went to prom or homecoming at least once and took the ACT or SAT or both, AND ON THE OTHER HAND. Do Claire and Jack even know what prom is? Does Kevin find this out and plan a prom in the bunker for them? Yes. Does he find out how many birthdays Claire was alone, uncelebrated, and randomly spring birthday parties on her? Yes.
Jack being the one with power but Claire being the one with teeth. Kevin giving Claire new protection sigils and monster hunting gear he made when she goes on hunts.
I HAVE SO MANY FEELINGS ABOUT THEM. I just want them to live in a big house in the country with lots of land and trees and sunshine and a therapy donkey and his high strung horse buddy and maybe an alpaca or some Random Wild Animal that they absolutely should not have but hey, god lives here now so whatever. and they have cooking disasters and they video chat with Dean (Jack) and Jody (Claire) and Kevin’s mom so you have three moms trying to tell them how to fix the problem and then talking to each other. Everything is bright and happy.
#Anonymous#supernatural#claire novak#kevin tran#jack kline#tranovakline#claire novak x kevin tran x jack kline#you've got questions i've got answers#my stuff#honestly kaia could be in here too#or she's just with claire#let the feral children be happy#their trauma goes so well together#and just the inherent humor of 'you three helped save the world. and none of you. know how to do laundry?'.#sorry this took so long to answer!#my body kept nerfing my brain#anyway i love them and i hope other people love them too#join me in the crackship pit!
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Tugger, Munk and Cassandra for the ask!
Eeeeeeee thank you!!! I love all of them let's go
1. Sexuality headcanon
2. OTP
3. BROTP
4. NOTP
5. First headcanon that pops into my head
6. Favorite line from this character
7. One way in which I relate to this character
8. Thing about this character that gives me secondhand embarrassment
9. Cinnamon roll or problematic fave?
TUGGER
1. So, so very gay. He will kiss a girl for comedic purposes but that's about it.
2. Tuggoffelees!
3. Tugger and Munk, Tugger and Demeter, Tugger and Teazer. Tugger and Bomba as well, but that feels Very obvious to me so I focus on other friendships of his in my thoughts and work.
4. Tugger/Bomba. No. Absolutely not. Turns my stomach. Also obviously any gross shit.
5. Since the kittens already love Tugger he gets kittensitting duty A Lot. He doesn't mind it, they're adorable and he gets to teach them life lessons parents want to believe they don'tneed to learn (how to stay safe while being irresponsible).
6. "His numerous progeny prospers and thrives, and the village is proud of him in his decline." He sings it with so much love!!!!!
7. I too am an attention whore, and I am not straight (nor cis which Tugger is not either fucking fight me)
8. It's like... third hand embarrassment but... Etcetera. She probably makes him hard to take seriously sometimes.
9. Cinnamon roll. I love my boy and he has done nothing wrong ever in his life.
MUNK
that guy is getting a lot of sex
1. Bi. (Or pan I guess take your pick. Toms, queens, and anything in between.) (This also feels like a good place to point out I default to Trans Woman Munk because I love her very much and she deserves the world! I get that's not a wavelength most people are on tho)
2. Demebombastrap. Also a sucker for Munk/a well deserved day of rest.
3. Munk and Tugger, Munk and Misto, and Munk and Jenny!
4. Don't really have any, besides the obvious "anything incest-y or with a gross age gap". Idk I saw a Munk/Teazer thing once and I have to say I am not about that.
5. Resents Grizabella more for leaving Tugger than for leaving him, since by the time she was gone he could feed himself and communicate and had other trusted adults, whereas Tugger was a newborn. Munk still really misses her and wouldn't be so angry if she hadn't left one of her kittens basically for dead.
6. "Are you blind when you're born?" It's a very striking opening to the show, it hooks the audience in very well.
7. I love my family so so much (both my biological family and the family I've chosen) and I would do anything for them
8. The Pekes and the Pollicles. 😬
9. Cinnamon roll. I feel no need to explain this it's MUNKUSTRAP.
CASSANDRA
1. Bi. (Again, or pan)
2. Hhhh I don't really put much into shipping her. She and Alonzo are cute though!
3. Cass, Cori, and Tanto. Creepy Cat Club rights. They like to stare at people all together and unnerve them.
4. Again, I don't really think about her relationships one way or the other... Cass/Tugger I guess, I've seen some of that and it's really not up my alley, for a number of reasons.
5. She can be pretty blunt but barring Old D she gives some of the best advice in the Junkyard, since she's very levelheaded. She hears and helps solve a lot of problems. But it's kind of her thing, she enjoys it.
6. "Where you there when the pharaohs commissioned The Sphynx?" But there's one recording (obc I'm pretty sure) where she says it like "phay-row" and no lie I kinda love that
7. Sleek brown hair I guess. (I kinda don't lmao that's why she gets so little of my attention I'm sorry Cass I love you)
8. Nothing she has her shit together.
9. I'd say neither. She's not problematic, but there's nothing cinnamon roll-y about her.
But since I have so little to say about her I Will say- I have a friend named Cassandra so that makes thinking/writing about her a bit weird... it always feels a bit like I'm talking about my friend. that's why I call her Cass, it's a nickname I've never used for that friend!
These are a LOT of fun thank you!!!!
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any headcanons for if Zuko/Sokka got married in the canon world like after Izumi's born and everything? What kind of couple would they be? What kind of parent is Sokka?
sorry this took so long to respond to! here be some bullet points:
while i like where your head’s at, i also am deeply opposed to marriage as an institution and firmly maintain that zuko and sokka in fact do everything in their power to abolish marriage in the fire nation. in fact, i once even wrote an entire post detailing how they go about accomplishing this.
i also don’t think that sokka ever lives anywhere full-time. i’m convinced he has a meticulously-crafted schedule of where he goes when during the year, and tries to divide his time among all the various parts of the world where his friends live fairly evenly.
he crashes with toph (or aang when he has had enough of toph being a horrible roommate) in republic city, with suki on kyoshi island, with katara in the south pole, and zuko in the fire nation. not only do i think he’d get bored if he spent all his time in one place, but that’s frankly pretty irresponsible of him considering he is the official babysitter of every world leader (this not only includes, but especially goes for king kuei).
and when he’s not with at least one member of the gaang, he’s traveling by himself thinking about how all his friends are doing important work meanwhile he’s just procrastinating and goofing off (he’s discovering quantum physics, but since literally no one else would care except for toph he wonders whether he should just bake her a cake instead and it would have the same effect on the world. only he cant bake for shit so), but actually whenever he’s not around, literally everyone (this includes iroh, for he knows no other pai sho opponents worthy) is like “damn when sokka’s getting back tho” (he gets tackle-hugged a lot)
the day zuko stops to be like “woah hold up. there’s a baby in this dumpster” is the day his entire life changes. for one thing, he’s deeply concerned that his citizens think it’s okay to dispose of babies by just. throwing them in the trash???? he establishes 200% more orphanages. but also, he’s keeping this baby, because how can he not, and look at her little face!!!!!!
not only does sokka (obviously) help raise izumi, he also helps raise lin and su as well, because let’s be honest, toph needs the help. not to mention katara’s (not that she’s a bad mom or anything, but someone needs to teach her kids math, yknow?) sometimes people ask suki when she’s gonna have kids, and at first she was just like “why the fuck would you assume that i want kids” but then her go-to response just started being “with whom? sokka? he already has six”
when izumi is crowned firelord and zuko can finally abdicate, he moves to a cottage on a mountain on an island in an archipelago off the coast of the fire nation, the location of which is only known by his closest friends and family, and is only accessible by dragon or flying bison. finally, he can live that sweet sweet #HermitLife babey! not a single piece of furniture in his entire house is red.
in fact, red is BANNED. he got reprimanded every time he tried to redecorate the fire palace even a little (he only wanted to repaint all the walls and vandalize all the portraits of ozai, azulon, and sozin...) but now is finally his time to shine. he paints one room light blue, one room a soft green, and the other room a pale yellow. the only acceptable reds are on the covers of books and the fruits in the kitchen. when the firelord comes to visit him, which she often does, she takes off her crown and changes out of her traditional robes. she loves the fire nation, and takes pride in her country, its values and its history (well, parts of it), but.. she gets it.
when izumi is in her early teens, she goes to live with katara in the south pole for a while. she thinks it’s valuable that as the heir to the throne, she actually get to know her future political allies. and she’s only met katara a handful of times, because katara absolutely loathes going to the fire nation and flat-out refuses to do so except for occasions that require the use of the fire palace, and even then she first pleads with toph if the palace can’t at least first be moved?
izumi has never been anywhere like the south pole before. katara takes her penguin sledding and izumi is lowkey scared because riding a penguin down a very steep hill doesn’t seem very safe, but she reminds herself that her dad warned her that katara is a *shudders* jock and she’s just going to have to get used to that for the next few weeks because katara simply does not understand the concept of being an indoor kid.
katara also shows her how politics is done in the south pole, and it’s really very fascinating because she’s never seen a huge public forum in action before, and she can’t believe that katara actually listens to every single citizen, and even addresses them all by name. as much as she knows that her dad cares, he also cannot remember anyone’s fucking name for the life of him. she thinks she wants her reign as firelord to be a bit more like katara’s, and when she tells him this, zuko is so very proud of her. (sokka’s just like “oh boy.”)
izumi is a lesbian, obviously (i mean, just look at her), and she has the five greatest mentors in the world. ty lee and suki teach her self-defense and how to say no to men. toph teaches her how to be confident and embrace her creativity, and she’s always there to give her sound, albeit harsh advice. mai is just plain awesome. and she and azula adore each other. though azula was also a precocious child, she used her talents to be coy, as opposed to plainspoken. she loves how direct izumi is, how she has no problem communicating her wants and needs, and calling people out on their bullshit. if azula says something she disagrees with, she engages her in a discussion about it, and azula finds that even though she’s talking to a child, she is genuinely intellectually stimulated. azula says to zuko one day “out of all the dumpsters in in all the alleys in all the world, she fell into yours...” and zuko’s like “is that a casablanca reference?” and azula’s like “no what the fuck is a casablanca”
zuko hates the fire palace. he hates it slightly less every time sokka voices all his concerns with it: “it’s ostentatious, it’s gaudy, it’s too big, the furniture is tacky, that chandelier is a hazard,” etc. but sokka thinks the hidden passages are really cool, and zuko loves the garden and not one day goes by where he doesn’t feed the turtleducks, and they both agree that the best room in the palace by far is the library. it’s no wan shi tong, but it’s close. there’s a lot of resources they have due to a century’s worth of colonialism, but after asking permission from the southern water tribe, the earth kingdom, and aang, zuko returns the original manuscripts (he keeps the air nomad artifacts in his possession until aang founds air temple island, for safekeeping) but keeps copies. and eventually, their joint dissertation on king lear makes its way onto a shelf, too.
#imo marriage is just when u coauthor a dissertation w someone....... so......#asks#izumi#zuko#sokka#katara#azula#sokkaxzuko#keiynans-lonsdale
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