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jimlingss · 6 years

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Starlet and Moonstruck [1]

Chapter 1||Chapter 2||Chapter 3||Chapter 4||Chapter 5

Words: 8.7k Genre: Fluff & Humour, Actress!Au Summary: As a newcomer actress struggling to make a name for yourself in the tough industry, you’re absolutely ecstatic to see your Dispatch pictures on the front page of Naver....but..what is this?! This isn’t about you!

Who’s the third guy from the left?!

Cr.

Lights. Camera. Action.

“Y/N! Y/N! Y/N!” The chanting of your name begins simultaneously as the car door slides open and you step out. Your mouth draws into a huge smile, cheeks swelling, hand waving and the shrieking elevates. The screams from your fans beg you to spare any amount of attention to them. The journalists lean over the metal fence barrier, shoving their microphone in your direction and yelling out questions to supposed rumours. The artificial light flashes of the cameras provide you with luminescence, reminding you of a rave show, capturing your best angles with the long lenses. The shouts and clicking frenzy ricochets off the midnight sky.

You continue with black heels strutting against the red carpet, offering a last smile as you turn into the building. The life of fame is such a tough one.

“Uh, miss….did you pay for your ticket?”

Unfortunately, it’s a mere mirage.

You tug down your sunglasses, pupils narrowed into the ticket boy and he blinks at you, unfazed. Your hand reaches up, taking off the black face mask and you clear your throat. He still doesn’t recognize who you are and you give a mirthless laugh, ripping open your purse to slap a crisp bill on the counter.

“What movie?”

“When Spring Meets Autumn.” You tap your fingernails against the counter. “One ticket.”

“Uh-huh.” The teenager behind the booth makes excruciatingly slow movements, as if attempting to purposely piss you off. It’s a full minute later before he hands you the slip of paper and directs you to which auditorium.

You scoff, strutting away while putting on your disguise again, fearing that someone will see you for who you really are. It would be terribly inconvenient for you to draw a crowd at a time like this.

You find a spot smack dab in the rows of seats and the spaces around you end up getting filled out as the commercials roll in the meantime. Some folks give you odd stares and you decide to finally take off your sunglasses, rewarding them to sneak a peek at your face. But they simply turn around without a single comment.

There’s no time to dwell, not when the lights have dimmed and the movie is beginning.

“No! Sunhwa! You can’t do it! You can’t go back to him! He hurt you!”

It’s surreal to be watching on the large screen, to hear your own voice and see your own facial expressions. You murmur underneath your breath, “promise me one thing….promise me you’ll find happiness elsewhere and not with that bastard.”

“Promise me one thing!” Your visage is marred by a frown, tears running down your flushed cheeks and from your spot in the theater, you admire how pretty you look. It’s convincing as well, striking a chord from deep within. “Promise me you’ll find happiness elsewhere and not with that bastard.”

You let out a squeak at the way you enunciated ‘bastard’ with absolute spite. The main character and actress looks out the window and sure, while you might be playing a minor role, this is still something that can be used to propel you higher into your career.

A few more scenes pass by but you’re preparing for the one and only….

“SUNHWA!”

There’s the screech of the tires halting on pavement, a single scream and the car collides with your body. The epic, sad music begins to play and you commemorate how well you play dead on the road, though it only lasts a handful of seconds. In the next scene, it’s your funeral.

Two hours later, the movie has ended and you leave the theater with a humongous smile.

Why not? You decide to appease your fans and you take off your glasses, waiting by the door as people exit the movie, discussing the ending and how it was a mediocre film at best.

No one looks twice at you.

You clear your throat loudly and awkwardly as if you were choking. Some high school kid tapping away at their phone looks up to see if you’re dying. “Are you okay-”

“Did you see me?”

“What?”

You rest your elbow against the wall, hand touching your forehead as you sweep your hair back. “The movie. I was in it.”

The student frowns, a bit weirded out from you. “You were?”

“I was the main character’s best friend...you know, I was there for the first ten minutes in like three scenes. There was a car accident in the beginning.”

He shoots his brows upwards. “There was an accident?”

You exhale a long breath. Okay, the movie is two hours and a half, you might’ve only shown up for ten and a lot of shit does go down but how could this high school child not remember the plot at all?! Your death was the basis for everything else! It’s very important…

Right?!

It’s been your dream since you were young, when you could barely even count your own fingers. You cried for a fictional character, a name and actress that you didn’t know but what you did know was that you wanted to be like her. A starlet.

At four, while others your age wanted to be a princess or fairy, when asked, you said you wanted to be an actress. They encouraged you and smiled, praising how cute you were.

At ten, you declared that you would become an actress. They said ‘oh’ and many people wished you luck while skeptically walking away.

At eighteen, you set out a plan to become an actress and how to get to the road of fame. Your friends rolled their eyes, teachers told you to set realistic standards and your parents yelled at you to stop daydreaming.

But here you are….

Sort of.

It’s a bitter pill to swallow and even harder to admit, but after so many years of grueling hard work and begging on your knees, all the roles you have obtained are incredibly forgettable.

You don’t blame the high schooler for not knowing you were in the movie. Even the director forgot to put your name in the credits and you weren’t called to the premiers either. But it’s okay, you don’t really mind. Your manager got angry on your behalf anyways.

“Oh my! My stomach hurts so much! What should I do?” You spin around, holding a pill bottle in your hands. A single wink and finger gun motion later, you muster a bright smile. “NIJ Laxative Pills will cure your bowel way! Helps with constipation! Now I feel so much better!”

You hold yourself still and after a second, the director yells ‘cut!’.

“That was great, Y/N,” he says sitting from his chair and you monitor your performance with scrutinizing pupils. “Except, can you act more in pain? How about you sit on the toilet and rub your stomach. Don’t be afraid to look ugly. Remember, you’re constipated.”

“Okay! I can do that!” You bow waist down to the director before racing back onto set.

The staff watches, some coordis snickering at the way you gurgle and moan in fake pain, perched on top of the toilet. You end up spinning around and saying the second portion of your lines in a different outfit. Finally, after twenty takes and four hours, it’s over.

“Thank you, thank you, thank you.” You bow towards the director and all the staff, not caring about how a few of them give mocking smiles and how the director doesn’t say a single word in response or glance in your direction. Your hands are clasped together and you continue to express your gratitude to each person until they’ve walked away. “Thank you.”

It might be an embarrassing commercial and they might’ve laughed at you but you’re lucky to be here.

“Listen, we’re going to make your big break soon! I just know it, Y/N. Don’t give up! You have talent and someone will eventually notice!” Soo-Ae, your sweet manager has a stern expression and you nod with a newfound determination.

Aside from managing your schedule and assisting you every step of the way, Soo-Ae is your personal cheerleader and the backbone to your entire career. When there’s nobody there, she never fails to support and encourage you.

“The CF turned out great and your recent movie got you more fans!” She smiles, fixing a strand of your hair and smoothing out your golden teacup dress as the stylists pack up. “Soon more articles will pop up and it’ll be the start of something great.”

Six years ago at eighteen years of age, fresh out of high school and bare-faced, your audition blew the older woman’s socks off. She claimed that you have a brilliant gift and your manager went as far as to beg the higher-ups of the company to take you in. To this day, she is still the one who finds all the opportunities for you.

“Thank you.” You feel a tear pricking at your eyes but you repress it in fear of smudging your mascara. “I don’t know what I would do without you.”

“Oh please, your success is mine.” The woman places her hands on your shoulders and you muse that she’s truly the older sister that you’ve never had. “There’s also something else that I need to tell you, Y/N.”

You look away from your reflection in the mirror. “What is it?”

“Don’t freak out. I want you to remain calm. But I got in touch with a company recently and after a lot of discussion, they’ve agreed to take pictures of you.”

There’s a bit of silence, anticipation building in your stomach as your mind races. “Who?”

“It’s Dispatch.”

You nearly drop to the ground right then and there.

Click.

But the flash of the camera breaks you out of your daze. The photographer smiles and you gather up a wider grin, raising your hand for a wave, tipping your head to one side. You’re pretending to walk into the company building nonchalantly, as if they had caught you by surprise but this is far from normal. It’s not everyday that you get the opportunity to pose for one of the most popular newsgroups.

You’re internally screaming as the clicks continue to go off and you try to make different expressions, straightening your posture, lips meekly turned upwards. There are a few people near the metal gate barrier, fans holding up signs with your name and shouting out for your attention. You’re not sure how many people there are planted by your manager and how many are actually real but it’s still nice to have some sort of backdrop that might hint to your oncoming fame.

“Alright, that was great!” As the photographer drops his expensive camera, the cheering simultaneously dies out. Like you suspected, all of those people crying out for you are fake.

A sharp sting bites the muscle beating near your rib cage but the hurt is interrupted when you catch a black cloud of hair, a tall figure wearing a bright red cap standing amongst the female crowd, a rather cute face-

“Well, the article should come out later today or tomorrow.” Dispatch’s photographer interrupts your daydream and you whip your head around, listening attentively. “We like to work fast and it’s no problem when we’re only releasing a few photographs and a couple of sentences.”

“O-oh, thank you.” You bow and he hums, nodding his head.

Your manager comes outside, smiling towards the people behind the barrier who begins to scatter, breaking the cardboard signs of your name and throwing the posters into the trash. Soo-Ae goes to speak to the Dispatch employee about some details in the article while you skip into the building.

You’re giggling and twirling, beaming with happiness. This could be it. This is the one thing that could propel your dreams and make them become fulfilled.

You leave the front entrance behind, abandoning your fake fans that were hired by your manager. Unknowingly, you leave one real one behind as well.

The laptop screen lights up in bright colours. You’re seen in the center on a white toilet, a cute growl leaving your stomach as your face twists up. “My stomach hurts so much. What should I do?!”

There’s a poof and you’re seen twirling around in a different outfit, facing the front again with a pill bottle in your hand. You give a charming wink and a finger gun motion, smiling vividly. The music jingle plays ‘bah-dah-ba’.

“NIJ Laxative Pills will cure your bowel way! Helps with constipation! Now, I feel so much better!”

The logo flares on screen as a deeper voice on the CF sounds, one that speaks rapidly, whispering all the cautionary warnings of the brand and how consumers must ingest by their own discretion and the company isn’t held responsible for any damages.

Yet, you’re not paying any attention to your new commercial that you’ve watched at least a thousand times. You’re on your phone, eyes glued to the screen, teeth chewing the nail of your thumb, muttering incoherently under your breath. Stop freaking out, stop freaking out, stop freaking out, you chant back to yourself to calm down.

It’s one in the morning and the Dispatch article was released hours ago. You’ve been too scared to check, to see what they said about you, what the comments are, how you look in the photos. But now you’ve built up the courage and with a trembling finger, you press onto the app, refreshing the page….

Naver appears and you’re about to search for your article, only to be stopped with a gasping breath. IT’S….IT’S…

IT’S ON THE FRONT PAGE?!

The written piece with your face as the icon, headlines running across the screen is trending, at the very top and your heart gets stuck in your throat. You begin to sob uncontrollably, feeling overwhelmed, both happy and relieved, enthralled with excitement and the burden of trying for so many years have been lifted off your shoulders. It’s here.

Fame has come knocking at your door.

You double tap on the article, wiping away your drenched cheeks. The page pulls up with a handful of lovely photographs of yourself and carelessly written captions underneath. You’re quite splendid in them, smiling without showing the stiffness, clear skin and bright eyes, a gorgeous dress that doesn’t take away from your appearance. But you don’t dwell on the pictures, quickly sliding your hand down the screen to view the comments underneath. They begin to load and you hold the air in your lungs…

[New Rising Actress Y/N Gathers Fans at Company Entrance]

1. [+3,233, -68] Oh my god. Who is that third guy from the left?!

2. [+2,987, -145] That third guy from the left in the back is crazy handsome. If that guy is reading this comment right now, please marry me!!

3. [+2,336, -38] Holy sh*t, that guy in the red hat is so freaking cute. His smile is killer, wow! It’s unreal. Is he an actor or an idol??? I need to know his name asap!

4. [+1,062, -57] It’s a shame I’m a fifty year old married woman. Please become my son in law! My daughter went to Seoul University and she needs someone like you!!

5. [+789, -20] ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ Isn’t it funny that this random fan got more attention that this nobody actress?

6. [+490, -23] Who is this actress though?

7. [+260, -15] Dispatch, please take photos of the third guy from the left next!

8. [+13, -3] Ah, I wish she would move a bit more to the right. Or maybe just out of the screen.

9. [+12, -2] ㅋㅋ This actress is a nobody! ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ

You scroll all the way back up to the photographs and exactly like the comments, your face pales in comparison to the man; the third one from the left, standing behind the metal fence barrier amongst the crowd of fake fans, smiling innocently with a red cap on. He’s in nothing but a plain white and blue jersey, black disheveled hair poking out, absolutely breathtaking.

The mysterious person looks worlds better compared to you who’s dolled up and perfected with layers of makeup. It took you a tremendous amount of effort to get to where you are, yet he’s nothing more than a bystander, a stranger who’s gained what you desired most.

“My stomach hurts so much. What should I do?!” The jingle plays in the background. “NIJ Laxative Pills will cure your bowel way! Helps with constipation! Now, I feel so much better!”

You slam down your laptop, silencing the embarrassing commercial and it occurs to you how quiet and dark the apartment has become. You sink down into your bed, not bothering to turn off the lamp as your tears trickle from your eyes and onto the pillow, creating a damp mess.

Who’s that actress though? She’s a nobody.

Tiny sobs break through your mouth and you chuck your mobile device away, letting you weep yourself until exhaustion has taken you.

The man sits across from you, smiling and happy to be in the presence of another beautiful individual. You solemnly pick at the food in your plate, nodding lifelessly as he blabbers on. The meal is eventually finished, two hours passed and you follow after him in the elevator, feet shuffling on muscle memory while your brain is a kilometer away. You don’t catch onto his sly glimpses of you.

It doesn’t truly occur to you where you’re going until the older man is fishing for his hotel room key card, his other hand snaking to the dips of your waist and gently palming over your ass.

You immediately snap out of it, flinching out of the stranger’s grasps, feeling lightheaded from the one glass of wine. The man takes notice of your abrupt movement and his hand freezes, eyebrow cocked upwards, “What’s wrong?”

“I-uh….I’m just feeling a little tired.” You manage to plaster on a meek smile, brushing your hair back and speaking in a soft and honeyed voice, “I think I should head home.”

“So soon?” He rests against the doorway, scanning you from head to toe while licking his lips, as if envisioning what you would look like stripped from the short black dress, thrown onto the mattress with your lipstick smeared and your mascara running down your cheeks.

You hide your disgust with a clearing of your throat and he nudges towards the hotel room. “You could come inside and rest. I promise we’ll only talk business in there and...maybe we can have a bit of fun too afterwards. It’ll be good for you, Y/N. I can guarantee that you’ll feel good as well.”

A muscle in near your eye twitches and your jaw feels numb from the exaggerated grin but you keep it up. You bow your head to show your respect and for the purpose of seniority. “I’m okay. Thank you, I had a nice time.”

Your manager, Soo-Ae, had told you that someone in the industry was interested in you and your work. You instantly agreed to have dinner with him and meet him for potential opportunities but what you failed to realize, while your mind was preoccupied from the Naver article, was that this was a sponsorship offer - sexual favours in exchange for money and power.

“Are you sure you want to leave?” He stops you from escaping, purposely moving in your way. The older man reeks of cologne and you hold in a cough. “I could get you the roles that you want.”

Upon hearing his confident statement, you waver. He must detect it in your expression since he continues on with the sweet coaxings. “There’s nothing to worry about. A lot of celebrities like you come to me for help. I have connections, I know people. The things that you want, the roles, I could easily get them for you in the blink of an eye.”

The man’s large hand clasps around your wrist, giving a light tug and he smiles. “And I know a lot more people would want to help you too. Not only would you get the fame that you’ve always dreamed of but you’ll be rich beyond belief. Money, luxury, clothes, films, CFs, dramas - it’s all yours. All you have to do is be obedient and listen.”

His whispers and the deep timbre of the man’s vibrating voice causes you to swallow hard. It’s the devil’s offer, a dream or a miracle, something that you’d never be able to obtain out of your own will.

Yet, you pry his grip off of you, standing your ground. “That’s not the method I want to take to reach my dreams.”

He mirthlessly chuckles, a cold tone ringing in the empty hallway to the private hotel suite. “You sure are stupidly naive for being in this industry for six years. Just put down your goddamn pride for once. There’s nothing to be embarrassed about. This is the only way you’ll make it, sweetheart. You really think you can become famous purely by your hard work? What a joke.”

The older man rolls his eyes, clearly pissed off at how you’re wasting his time and not spreading your legs automatically like people in the past have. Instead, you bow your head once more, fingernails sinking into your skin to hold in the tears that threaten to pour.

“I’m going to leave now. Thank you for the dinner. Goodbye.”

“Mark my words,” he calls after you in a booming voice, “you’ll come crawling back one way or another!”

When you can’t cry, you smile. When you can’t scream, you laugh.

There’s no time or place to complain or whine, to be enraged or sorrowful, not in this cut-throat industry that would slice you up like a sirloin steak the moment they catch a flicker of a weakness. You haven’t even made it yet. You can’t sob for what you don’t have.

“My stomach is hurting so badly, help me.” The main actress for the comedy television drama collapses on the counter. You twirl around in your white coat, acting as the local pharmacist.

“What did you eat recently?”

The actress frowns and recalls in her mind, muttering underneath her breath, “Bong-su….this morning…” A flash of recognition slaps her across the face but she clutches onto her stomach.

You smile, sliding over a NIJ laxative pill bottle over the counter which she takes gratefully.

“Cut!”

The director’s cue causes the entire set to rush forward, fixing the actress’ messy hair and makeup to prepare for the next scene. You step out from behind the counter, bowing to her to which she smiles and tells you what a good job you did. You thank the director and the rest of the staff as you leave.

It was only a brief cameo, probably something that might be aired for less than a minute. Still, any exposure is good exposure at this point.

You’re in the dressing room, packing up your bag when your phone begins to spasm in your pocket. You apologize to the stylists for the noisy sound and you smile at your manager’s name that’s displayed across the screen. She wasn’t too happy that you made the potential sponsor and perhaps future associate angry but she ultimately brushed it away.

You pick up the phone call, wondering if Soo-Ae already received another opportunity for you.

“Hello?”

“Y/N, are you done with filming? Come to the company building right now, there’s something important that I need to tell you. I’m on the fifth floor, fourth conference room in the west wing. Hurry.”

“No.”

You thought at this point, you’d almost do anything to make it big but this is your absolute limit. “I can’t. It’s embarrassing. It’s horrible. I just can’t.”

“Y/N…” Soo-Ae sighs and rubs her temples for an extended second. She’s leaning against the table, her feet and arms crossed, watching you pace back and forth. “You don’t have a choice.”

A nervous breakdown comes knocking at the door, distress holding your frame captive and you shake your head, grasping onto the hair near your scalp. “No. No!”

Your manager inhales a deep breath and pushes herself to stand properly. She takes three strides up to you and presses her comforting hands on your shoulders, locking your eyes with her’s. The oncoming mental collapse barrelling towards you temporarily halts.

“Listen to me, Y/N, and listen carefully. At this point, the company is willing to try anything that will work. The PR team and I have spoken and they’re right. It’s been six fucking long years and if your career doesn’t propel up now, it’s all over. We’re both not getting younger and it’ll get harder and harder from here. This is just a way to draw attention to you so that people can see you for who you really are, your talents and gifts. It’s a strategy, a tactic.” Her desperation manages to coax you an inch. “I know you can do this, Y/N. It’s worth a shot.”

She’s right. You’ve made it this far. Are you really going to stop now? How can you bear to let all your efforts go to waste?

You slowly enunciate the word, “okay.”

Soo-Ae smiles at your response. “Good.”

“Where is he?”

Your life is one tragic comedy.

“He’s in the next room over.”

No...No...No…

You’re screaming internally from denial. ‘Yes..Yes...Yes…’, your manager’s light shoves conveys and you’re forced to open the door. There’s broad shoulders and a large backside that greets you. A black cloud of hair sits on top of his head, untamed and poofy. The head turns and shining, bright eyes crinkle with the humongous grin. The man is more so of a boy, carrying an innocent aura that seems heightened with his excitement. He’s in nothing more than a navy green jacket, dark jeans but he’s unmistakably drop dead gorgeous.

He’s even more beautiful than the photos and for a moment, you’re blown away, forgetting who the actual celebrity in the room is. Fuck. You’re envious of him.

There’s silence.

You stare at him. He stares at you. You wonder how someone can have such pillowy lips, strong brows that create a cute face, look so perfected as if they were sculpted from a deity’s hands. It doesn’t occur to you that he’s completely starstruck in your presence.

After a jab from your manager, you sigh and snap out of your trance. “Are you my new bodyguard?”

“Yes, I am!” He shouts in elation and you frown, questioning if you heard him let out a squeal. His smile is so wide, you ponder if it might break his face - if it does, you’ll celebrate. “My name is Kim Seokjin! It’s nice to finally meet you!”

You wish you could say the same.

It’s unbearable. Kim Seokjin, infamous Third Guy From The Left, follows you around everywhere you go. His presence is a constant reminder that you couldn’t become famous on your own and reach your dreams with your own talents. Instead, you have to ride off of his fame, utilize his nice face as a strategy to gain attention from the public. It’s sad. It’s humiliating.

It’s even worse that he’s so goddamn annoying.

“Will you stop whistling?!” You snap at him in the van and he jolts, immediately quieting down.

He dips his head, lips slightly pouting but the genuine sadness is felt through his softly whispered words, “I’m sorry.”

Goddammit. Now you feel like the villain.

And why does he have to look like that? Like a kicked puppy?

“Can you stop staring at me?!” You growl at him and he whirls his head to look at the window, wincing from your harsh tone. He murmurs another apology and you groan, fingers pinching the bridge of your nose from the accumulating stress.

You can’t help feeling nothing but disdain for him. It’s unfair. He’s done nothing to get to where he is, to have his nickname trending and all over the front page of news sites. Paparazzi and people alike are searching for him, to find out more details, his name and age, to satisfy the curious netizens. It’s infuriating.

“Carry my stuff.”

Seokjin catches the bags that you hurl towards him and he cheerfully pulls your luggage into the building after you. He still remains happy-go-lucky, humming under his breath, chasing after your tail and always….always staring at you like he can’t believe he’s actually with you.

You don’t know what that guy’s problem is. “Go fetch me some water.”

“Okay!”

But you have to endure this.

Your manager was right after all. There have been pictures released with Seokjin standing beside you and it’s blown up, some speculating that he may be your boyfriend while most put two and two together, figuring out that he’s your new bodyguard. Of course, your name is linked with his too. Whatever fame he gains, you’re also benefiting.

You repeat the single statement to yourself over and over again: ‘any exposure is good exposure at this point’.

“No, I don’t want this water!” You chuck the bottle to the ground, letting him watch it roll to his feet. “Go downstairs and take the elevator to the second floor. At the east wing, four doors down to the left, not right, there's a coffee break room. Go to the back where the mini-fridge is and take the bottle from the first shelf, not the third one or the one attached to the door. Got that?”

He lifts up his hand, eyes widening. “W-wait-!”

“Go.”

You turn towards the mirror, picking apart the flaws to cover them up with a thick layer of concealer. It’s not until ten minutes have passed before your manager comes into the room, monetarily glaring at the stylists tapping away at their phones in the corner. “Where’s Seokjin?”

“Hmm?” You twirl a piece of your hair, glancing over at Soo-Ae.

That’s right….where did he go?

There’s a thought that knocks the wind out of your lungs - what if he left? Maybe you scared him off….good….but no-.....that’s bad. You need him. Rather, you need his fame and his gorgeous face.

You end up running around the entire building, asking others if they’ve seen him and chasing after his shadow, places where you miss him by a mere couple of seconds. Your polished hair becomes a mess, makeup smudged and clothes rumpled. You would feel angered...if only you didn’t feel so guilty first.

“Um, excuse me. Do you know where the east wing to the second floor is?”

“Kim Seokjin!” Your guilt heightens as he swivels his head over, an enormous grin tugging his lips and causing his cheeks to swell. He bows his head towards the worker who hums and leaves. Seokjin’s eyes are gleaming as he skips over to you, transforming from a lost puppy into a happy dog that’s finally found its owner. “What are you doing?!”

“I’m sorry. I got lost and I didn’t know how to go back either. This building’s really big! But I got you some water! It’s not the one in the mini-fridge but I found-”

You take the bottle in his hand with a long sigh, defeated with his undying eagerness. “I don’t need water anymore. Let’s just go back, okay?”

Seokjin audibly squeals when you take his hand, holding it in yours and lugging him along the maze of halls. You turn around, lifting up a brow and he downcasts his head, the tips of his ears burning a bright shade of red, attempting to repress another big smile and failing.

The stylists grumble as they fix the mess on your head and on your face. However, when Seokjin takes a seat next to you at the dressing tables, they seem absolutely elated, shoving each other lightly to battle who gets to brush his lashes and groom his brows.

“Why is he getting styled as well?”

You watch as the coordinator rushes to prepare a suit for him, steaming out all the wrinkles and measuring his arm with tape. “He’s supposed to be my bodyguard!”

Soo-Ae comforts you with her hand tapping your back in steady beats. “Don’t complain, Y/N. One day, you’ll thank him, I know it.”

There was another opportunity, more specifically, a pictorial with CeCi magazine. Obviously, you nearly soiled your pants when your manager told you but what you didn’t expect was for Seokjin to be involved with it as well.

There’s a bright flash from the camera and Seokjin flinches.

“Can you please relax?” The photographer asks him and you observe him fumble around. You don’t know if you should laugh at him or cry. The poor boy is so stiff and confused, only able to clasp his hands behind his back and give a pretty smile. He fails with any other pose, stance or expression and constantly looks over at you with distress.

There’s another click, a flash and your newly hired bodyguard is caught mid-blink on the monitor.

“No! No! Just stop scrunching your eyebrows. Relax your shoulders…..take a step forward...now to the right, okay. No, you still look tense. Don’t worry about anything. Look into the camera now.”

“I’m sorry.” He cries out, limbs awkwardly hanging by his side. The coordis and stylists look on in disappointment and revulsion for the way his handsome face has gone to waste by the lack of his skills. It’s a pitiful sight unraveling in front of you as Seokjin grows more and more distraught. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine.” The photographer exhales in exasperation, dropping his camera and spinning around to look at you. He mumbles something about getting it done and over with. “What’s your name? Y/N? You can come over now.”

Seokjin breathes out a sigh of relief when you step onto the set. The white backdrop and studio umbrella lights surround him, the fluorescent artificial tubes seering into his irises. You feel a bit of compassion for the male, how he was thrown in abruptly without much of a warning. It can be overwhelming to have a camera lense solely on you, for the bright lights to burn to the back of your skull, for everyone to be watching in deafening silence, anticipating something amazing to happen.

The pressure could break anyone.

You, at the very least, have to admit that he looks quite spectacular in his suit. It’s tailored to fit and hug his body, giving him an affluent vibe, despite the natural innocent and childlike aura. Seokjin looks like a rich heir of three generations of CEOs. In comparison, the coordinator chose for you to wear a lace baby pink dress that stops mid-thigh, paired with a fitted white blazer coat that matches the length of the dress and black kitten heels. Roseate flowers clip the side of your hair back, matching the colour of your matte lipstick. For once, you’re mildly satisfied with how you look.

The best thing you can do now is to put on an act and ease him.

“Calm down.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t apologize.” You smile and Seokjin’s cheeks grow warm. “Don’t be self-conscious. Pretend that it’s just me and you. There’s nothing to be afraid of, honestly.”

You place a hand on his shoulder, looking up at the male and he gazes back into your twinkling orbs. There’s a gasp in the corner of the room but the two of you don’t notice. The camera flashes.

If you were being truthful, you were anxious as well. It was your first time ever shooting for a pictorial and for a famous magazine agency at that. But seeing Seokjin clumsy and frightened, somehow made you feel calmer. You don’t know anything about him, but it still amazes you how beautiful he looks up close.

“Are you nervous around me?” You incline your head to one side, grinning at how his cheeks are flaming red and the tip of his ears look like they’ve caught on fire. His breathing has halted, his heart is thundering underneath his chest. Seokjin coyly smiles and you step closer to him.

He recoils back, startled but you pull him closer. Your hand is around the nape of his neck and you stare at his thick, pillow lips with half-lidded eyes. “That’s great!” The photographer shouts and Seokjin’s bewildered expression is marred when he realizes you’re only in this narrow proximity with him for the photographs. His hand naturally takes hold of your waist and you melt into his arms, lolling your head to give a mesmerized gaze at the lens of the camera.

There’s a click, a flash, the lights illuminating your visage.

Seokjin continues to focus on you, his gaze pinned on your features. You look off at the camera, sometimes giving a sly smile and other times, expressionless. The both of you change positions from his arm draped over your shoulder to you embracing him, his backside towards the photographer, the profile of his face seen when he tilts his head ninety degrees.

The room has gone silent. Coordinators and stylists, your manager, all watching in awe. The photographer is bouncing around the room, spamming his camera, screaming out compliments as he’s found his lifetime muse or that this is the greatest photoshoot in existence. “Holy shit! Wow! One more shot, one more shot!”

You and Seokjin look at each other at the same time, bursting out into laughter.

The camera flashes again.

You put on an act, ignoring the anger and jealousy, attempting to be civilized and pull Seokjin in for the sake of getting good photos. It’s all the more ironic that you’re the one gravitating towards him. And you don’t realize that you forgot you were acting.

“The pictorial blew up!” Your manager screeches through the phone and you immediately go to pull up the article.

The pictures are as stunning as the previews you saw through the monitor on the day of the shoot. For a moment, you’re captivated by how beautiful the final HD versions are, especially with the softened filter that adds a romantic and sweet atmosphere. Your face is poreless, hair smooth and body without a flaw. You wish you looked that good in reality.

Seokjin is even more magnetizing than you are, his expressions without a hint of awkwardness or tension. Though his best takes are the ones where he’s staring at you…..

You wonder why that is.

Without dwelling too much, you scroll down to the comments.

[Rookie Actress Y/N and Third Guy From The Left’s First Pictorial with CeCi]

1. [+4,955, -128] Third guy from the left strikes again! But who is this actress?

2. [+3,803, -80] Wow. They seriously look like a modern prince and princess!

3. [+3,076, -54] Thank you for washing my eyes. Ah~ it’s a visual paradise!!!

4. [+2,606, -79] F*cking crazy...beautiful people do live in another world.

5. [+1,921, -891] You have to admit that she’s really pretty too. It’s a fact that she’s a natural beauty.

6. [+683, -27] I’m so jealous of her. She must’ve saved an entire country in her past life to be standing next to him.

7. [+679, -52] But why does she need a bodyguard if she doesn’t have any fans? ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ

8. [+656, -57] Is it true that he’s her bodyguard?

9. [+83, -79] ㅋㅋㅋBut why is the supposed bodyguard in the pictorial????? ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ

You scroll past thousands of comments, silently agreeing with the ones that ask why your bodyguard would be in something like this. But your manager and the PR team were right. Your name is being taken with his and whatever fame Seokjin receives, you gain from it too.

In your apartment with the dim lights, you decide to look up his name in the search bar.

You’re aware it’s the worst thing you can do. You’ve been told by your manager and countless others to never search yourself up on the internet. Most comments are never kind and you don’t need an external source of criticism when you already internally self-deprecate yourself.

But the curiosity is too strong and ultimately wins over.

‘Third Guy From The Left Official Fan Club’ comes up and your mouth drops open. The membership to his official fan club is in the hundred thousands. When you look up at your name, one of the top sites is an anti-fan club. You decide to enter your official fancafe, only to find that it’s still at a hundred followers. It hasn’t shifted, not by one.

Why are you not surprised?

It’s not like you were ever good enough to be liked by other people anyways.

Seokjin gains a new name. From ‘Third Guy From The Left’, it has evolved into ‘Great Guy’.

There are gif sets of him walking down the street, browsing in stores, caught eating in restaurants all over twitter; clips of him put onto instagram, articles posted on instiz and nate. You’re always there in the corner of the photographs or clips too...occasionally blurred out.

Wherever you go, Seokjin’s paid to follow.

“I’m done.” You sniffle, lightly dabbing the sleeve of your sweater at your nose. “Let’s go.”

Seokjin opens the door to the restaurant and the cold air nabs at your skin. You shiver, turning around and catching the old owner lady attaching Seokjin’s signature to the wall, a request that she had asked him of when serving your food.

He continues to stare at you while you both walk alongside each other down the avenue. You can’t even go out to grab a meal in peace without your manager persisting that he joins you.

“Can you stop looking at me?” You spit out while you shake in your boots, the frost in the air kissing your forehead and cheeks. If you didn’t feel so lonely in your apartment, you would’ve called a taxi home by now.

“Were you crying?”

His whispered question causes you to stop on your heel. A frown inches its way between your brows, mind reeling if he heard your sniffling past the dingy door of the restaurant or if your eyes were still red. But you were confident upon looking in the mirror that your makeup wasn’t smudged and there was no difference in your face. Did you puffy eyes give it away?

You give him something between a scoff and a mocking chuckle, picking up your pace so he can’t have time to read your expression. “Don’t be ridiculous!”

No one’s ever been able to tell when you’re sad. You’ve always been too good at acting happy.

“S-sorry.”

A long exhale leaves your parted lips. “Don’t apologize.” There’s another extended silence and you steal a peek at Seokjin, only to find him already gazing at you. He immediately averts his stare when your eyes lock and he clears his throat, ears burning scarlet. You smile at his bashfulness, finding it easy to tease him. “You know, you were pretty good in the pictorial.”

His orbs light up. “Really?!”

“You’re good,” you admit with a nod. Doesn’t he already realize this when he looks into the mirror every morning? “Honestly, you might be a natural at it. I think you should look into some modeling agencies or talk to Soo-Ae about it. You could be famous.”

“No.” He shakes his head. “I don't want to be famous, at least not like that. And I was only decent at it because you were there. I’m...I’m a pretty awkward person.”

“I don’t think so…” You pause, looking up at him with unintentional pouting lips. “I think you’re just a bit clumsy but it’s your charm. It’s a shame you don't want to become famous. You have star potential.” A bitterness lingers on your tongue of how he’s already gained recognition but you push it away before a green monster can take hostage of your soul again.

“But if you don’t want to enter this industry, what do you want to do?”

“I-.......I want to be a director.”

He tilts his chin up, staring at the faint stars of the sky, the ones that are unable to show the true potential with the bright city lights. You’re surprised by his answer, eyebrows shooting up to your hairline. You don’t know anything about Seokjin aside from his name. But ‘director’ was an answer you weren’t expecting.

“Really?”

He hums, eyes crinkling with his gentle smile. “I’ve always wanted to make a movie - make an entire universe inside my head come to life. If I could make others feel what I feel inside, if I can share the ideas in my mind, I think that would be a dream come true. Could you imagine? My story being told on the big screens. To work with screenwriters, actresses and actors, cinematographers and editors, all to fulfil a vision and create a masterpiece…..”

As he rambles on, you’re affected by his enthusiasm, unwittingly smiling with him. It’s powerful to hear someone as desperate as you are to make their ambitions come to fruition. Most often than not, you have to encourage yourself but to listen to Seokjin, you feel rejuvenated and refreshed.

“Well, you’re on the right track.” You tell him, acknowledging that building connections is vital. If Seokjin continues to linger around you, he’d get to know the people behind the scenes and he’d be that much closer to fulfilling his goals.

He grins. “It’s all thanks to you.”

“No.” You let your own sharp words seep into your skin like barbed wire. “I’m a nobody.”

“That’s not true!” Seokjin protests in a higher pitched voice, causing you to become startled. You glare at him and he sheepishly smiles. “This might be so embarrassing and I don’t mean to make you uncomfortable but you’re the one who’s made me come this far.”

You raise a brow. “What do you mean?”

“I’ve had this dream for a long time but it was only...a dream.” He stops to sit down at a bench. You don’t realize that you’ve become mesmerized. “And then I watched your film in theaters a few months ago….”

“When Spring Meets Autumn.” “When Spring Meets Autumn.”

The pair of you respond at the same time and he nods, smiling warmly at you. “I cried in the theater at the beginning scene, the car accident, and it was so good. I was moved and when I went home, I joined your fancafe. I read about your post, how you got to where you are..”

You still remember writing out three pages of your struggles, how difficult it was for you to get to where you are, how much discouragement you experienced along the way. You poured out your heart and soul but you didn’t expect anyone to read it….until now…

Seokjin gazes at you, becoming shy in your presence and flustered, downcasting his head and murmuring, “I admire you for going after what you want. You inspired me to pursue my dream. I’m a big fan of you, Y/N.”

I’m a big fan of you, Y/N. I’m a big fan of you, Y/N. I’m a big fan of you, Y/N.

The words and the deep timbre of his voice rumbles in the hollows of your skull. You’re absolutely stunned, jaw dropped, boring your pupils into his skin, shocked out of your mind. No strung syllables have sounded sweeter in your world. Your heart trembles and you muse that you’ve found your favourite sentence in the world-

I’m a big fan of you, Y/N.

It all makes sense. Why Seokjin is always so perplexed when you come into close contact with him, why he yelps when you take his hand, the reason he’s always staring at you, why he’s so shy….why he was there on the day of your Dispatch photoshoot, cheering and calling out your name in the background.

Seokjin is your number one fan.

(He might be your only fan).

Your entire life, you’ve had no recognition. Not from teachers or parents or friends. There have been comments full of hatred, discouragement, asking you who the hell you are and telling you how you’ll never make it in this industry. To be sitting in front of someone gleaming, blabbering on and chattering about how talented you are, how great you are, how gifted you are…

You almost want to cry.

“The way you were on the road, thinking about your best friend before you passed away...wow...your pronunciation and your expressions are so damn good. I bought the movie dvd and I think I watched it four or five times by now. Oh! I also watched your commercial, the CF of the NIJ pills and it was really cute. Did you think of the dialogue? It was great! I also admire the way you respond to fans’ comments. I can really feel your appreciation in each post-”

You latch onto his hands, feeling his cold fingers with your icy ones. Seokjin flinches upon the contact, eyes grown wide and your teeth sink into the bottom of your lip, holding in a waterfall of tears.

“Thank you. Thank you so much.”

He lolls his head to one side, blinking at you. “What for?”

Seokjin already feels excited to be sitting beside you and talking to you. It’s a dream that’s been fulfilled for him. When he received a call from your company, he couldn’t believe his ears and to meet you in real life, he thought he was going to have a heart attack. He already considers himself lucky to be such a successful fan and interact with his ultimate bias on a daily basis.

His stanning life is one whirlwind fantasy come true.

You open your mouth, about to pour out your gratitude for his endless support and apologize for the way you’ve been treating him but you’re unfortunately interrupted-

“E-excuse me…” A girl with long black hair and blunt bangs, still in her high school uniform leans over with her phone still in her hands. A horde of four other teenagers are off to the side, giggling beneath their palms. “Can we take a selca with you?”

Seokjin is befuddled, lips pouted, cheeks rounded and he nods slowly, getting up to meet the crowd. They line up, taking photos with him, getting his autograph. He soon gathers a crowd of other folks, all fangirling and screeching, bouncing up and down and quietly screaming, filming him with their mobile devices. The boy tries to satisfy everyone, rushing over to sign and smile while taking pictures, lost and confused amongst the chaos.

You smile to yourself, finally admitting there's no point in denying the obvious. Seokjin is rather cute.

With not much to do on a Sunday evening, you decide to hop onto Pann. It isn't a site where the general public goes; typically festered with idol fans and hate for popular groups, much like Nate, but you're still curious to see what people say about you on there. Unlike Naver where there are published articles made by journalists and news groups, here people can create their own pages and discussions, a forum for fans to freely express themselves and leave comments.

To your surprise, instead of being bashed to death, you discover something much different.

[enter-talk] COME FEAST YOUR EYES! MY OPT FAIRYTALE COUPLE~

-Wow, is this real??

-I’m not a fan but even I had to save these pictures..

-They're so so so cute together!!! I love them ㅠㅠ

-I think I'm in love with the both of them..

-Unbelievable..How can people look like this..

-Please date and last long you two!

-If they had kids, they would be crazy good looking..ah~ I’m jealous of their genes already..

You scroll up from the comments, studying the photographs that were caught by bystanders on the street who saw the pair of you walking by. There's the pictorial pictures, the original Dispatch images and photoshopped ones. You notice that Seokjin’s gaze always drips of honey when it's directed at you and your smiles always seem brighter when it's around him.

You stare for the longest time at the photos, agreeing that Seokjin’s face is indeed god-level….

Your finger holds down on the images, saving them all to your gallery.

#bts fanfic #seokjin fluff #seokjin fluf #jin fanfic #bts scenarios #sfwbangtan stories #THIS IS GOING TO BE ONE CRAZY ADVENTURE! :')#I really love this story #hopefully you guys will too!!!!#FUCK I AM ACTUALLY SO EXCITED FOR THIS #TRUST ME WHEN I SAY THIS IS GOOD

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eris0330 · 5 years

Text

Together forever

☽Pairing☾ ; BTS | Reader

☽Genre☾ ; Fluff?

☽Word Count☾ ; 4.2k

☽Summary☾ ; Here’s a story of how valentine’s day is going, being friends with the most popular boy group in college.

☽Notes☾ ; This is a draft i had for valentine’s day but i never posted it. So since i’m going to be working a bit more on the Hiraeth, i thought this would do until i’m finished.

🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸

“You got to be kidding me” Crossing out the calendar, marked as the traditional ‘declare your love to someone’ day and give out chocolate to your crush without having to make up any other excuse. It was on a Friday where there was planned a festival as well, where students collided on your campus due to being the biggest of them all and do small activities with food stalls. It was a day you always dreaded, because being friends with the most popular guy group in college, meant you had to spend a whole day watching them receive chocolate while you were on the side line. They were always gifted with presents throughout the college years, but when it came to Valentine’s day, it was different and the triple amount of presents. Even though you always made fun of them and their hundreds of fan girls, sometimes you wished you had just a bit more time being alone with them. Nowadays, it was hard to spend time in college because the girls would always push you away.

Rushing out of the house, you grabbed an apple on the way, because you knew there would be food on the college ground anyways advertised from different students around the city.

The sun was beaming and somehow you cursed under breath for taking jeans on, despite the ripped areas of it. Your legs slumped slowly towards the road to college, you heard significant footsteps come closer and a familiar cologne.

“Hey Y/N! Wait up!” Hoseok chimed loudly as he puffed, while getting to the same phase as you. His buttoned up white shirt and black jogging trousers with stripes were and odd combination, but it was fitting his style. A handmade dark red bracelet that you made him when he was sleeping over at your place as a kid, when his family were out of town, were shining against the sun.

“Looking forward for the amount of chocolate you’ll get today?” You questioned, putting your worries away after watching his smile widen.

“I already got a few gifts at my house, so I don’t think I can dodge this one. How about you?” He asked curiously, wiggling his brows at your chuckles.

“Why would I get chocolate? I’m only a First-year and you’re a Third-year, no one knows about me like they do with you” You answered, waiting for the red light at a crossway. Patting you on the shoulder, he sighed loudly.

“So what? Jungkook is a First-year too and I bet he will get some as well”

“But Jungkook is good looking” You interrupted, pursing your lips into a thin line. The wait for the change of light, felt like an eternity.

“And you’re not?” Hoseok questioned baffled, almost as if he was acting but you shrug it off with a light chuckle.

“Will you look at that, a Third-Year trying to persuade a First-Year? How dirty” A mocking comment that you knew very well, followed with a boxy smile. Jimin and Taehyung straddled along, while the light turned green to cross the road you saw how Jimin had fixed his hair more prominent this time.

“Oh? Someone worked harder this morning?” You questioned with a hint of sarcasm, adjusting your eyes at his silky hair. His eyes crinkling and smile widening, he ruffled your hair softly.

“Someone could learn a thing or two from it~” He chimed making you act hurt of his words, while the others chuckled. “As a second year, you have to make a good impression for the elders” Jimin finished with a wink, making Taehyung laugh mockingly as he swung an arm around his neck.

“As if the Fourth-Years, the seniors, Queens and Kings would notice your effortless hair”

“Hey! I actually used a good amount of time to part this fringe right!” Jimin answered harshly, making Hoseok laugh louder of the younger boy’s bickering.

“Hey Grandpas!” Taehyung yelled towards two fellas working a few metres up front, their backs turning around to see their hair hover towards the sky, due to the light breeze.

“Who are you calling a Grandpa??” Hoseok questioned with a dirty eye towards the younger, making him realise that Namjoon is the same age as Hoseok.

The duo waited patiently for the rest to join, walking towards the entrance gate. Yoongi stretched out his arms, feeling his loose black hoodie hover from his skin further. “I got so many calls this morning, asking me to wait at the music room.”He groaned loudly, rubbing his eyes from the burning sunlight.

“You too? Don’t they know that section of the campus is shut off during the festival?” Namjoon questioned, wiping off his new glasses that he had just bought yesterday.

“Beats me” Yoongi answered back, putting his palms into his pockets. Yoongi never cared for valentine’s day and he swore since First-Year, that he would never give someone chocolate for that day even if his life depended on it. The girls always hovered around him like flies and he hated that kind of attention, especially during occasions like these.

“Lucky for you, Jin seems to get all the attention today. On the other hand, he likes it” You spoke softly, pointing towards the bench at the gate to see Jin with six other girls around him. Their short skirts and minor high heels, with their hair fixed in a ribbon of their college’s colour, letting the other boys knowing where they can be found. He was smiling fondly, thanking for the bags of homemade chocolate, shaped in different objects like the classical heart or a bear. It was Jin’s last year, so he was appreciating all the gifts he could get for that day. His eyes noticing the group coming towards him, he had to let the girls go to join the others. The girls waved in the matter of love, fixating their eyes on his long body jogging away.

“Hey, I got us snacks” Jin huffed, raising the bags of chocolate in the air for the others to see. Yoongi snickered, while Taehyung gave him a thumb up.

“This is gonna be a long day and it has barely started” You sighed, walking together towards the gym hall where most of the other students would be. Your eyes scanning the people on the way that you have never seen before and the couples holding hands, looking at the entertainment that was settled for the day. “Hey, where’s Jungkook?” You questioned, scanning once again without seeing his trace. The other following suit to look, but only Jin could see him a few metres away by the cherry tree.

“There! He’s with a girl” He commented, making the other search for the area that he was pointing. Jungkook was with a girl, probably a Third-Year with a pink bag of home goods and ready to take a selfie with the boy. Some were thrilled to see the youngest with someone new, while you were still surprised how the quiet boy could get chocolate before you.

“OI COCONUT HEAD! OVER HERE!” Jimin yelled, gathering everyone’s attention of his booming voice. The youngest almost got a scare, that he didn’t get to say goodbye to the girl and were already assembled with the others.

“What did you get?” Namjoon questioned, looking in the bag of fresh baked cookies. Jungkook just sighed with a smile, feeling out of place that someone would give him a gift.

“She told me that she had seen me in the gym, but never knew I went to this school. It’s the first time I’m seeing her” Jungkook explained, blushing slightly of the sudden confession of her observation. The others cooed of his interaction but Namjoon got a hold of something more, from the bag that Jungkook was given.

“Looks like it isn’t the last time you’ll see her” He winked, holding up a piece of paper that were written numbers on.

“Dude! You got her phone number?!” Jimin exaggerated, taking the paper out of Namjoon’s hand. His eyes scanning the piece with a heart next to the number, with a written name on the back of it. “Her name is Yoonji.” Jimin claimed, giving the paper to Jungkook who was baffled more than ever. “You gotta teach me your ways man” Jimin finished, patting the other boy on the back to walk inside the gym hall. The others chuckling of his effort, while some were too occupied with the stalls of free food samples. The sight of the boys each getting interrupted by girls or faint screaming, were annoying you but you stuck there for a few hours, being able to put a few words and laughter in. Soon, it became too exhausting to keep up so you had to excuse yourself to go outside to the other stalls. Banners of group spirit and motivational quotes, with an addition of encouragement to declare to your loved one instead of hiding, were making you feel exhausted. The scent of pancakes sent you into another thought, dragging your rumbling stomach towards the pancake stall. You decided to get a cone, filled with different of fruits and ice cream with the tip of whip cream. The sweet scent making your teeth drool, before indulging yourself in the fine dessert as for breakfast.

“Yo, sharing is caring” Yoongi muttered, taking a bite of the pancake as you took in the shock of his presence. He was alone, making it more surprising that he decided to find you.

“where are the others?” You questioned, licking the melting ice cream off your finger. His eyes scanning the crowd, pointing his finger to the entrance of the gym hall.

“Somewhere inside. Girls were swamping around them, like bees finding pollen for the first time. I lost Jungkook on the way out.” Yoongi explained with a drowsy voice, taking another bite of your pancake. Standing in the middle of a crowd, watching people walk by in groups and duos, with their snickering and whispering. You knew this day would feel like chaos, but not at this level. You saw a group of girls in front of you, hiding at a nearby stall. Their heads peeking out, but you were unsure if they were looking at you. They continued to talk to each other, but their eyes always fell towards your gaze. You finished the pancake with Yoongi, even though it wasn’t the plan at all, he decided to stay by your side while the others were dealing with the girls. You continued to watch the little group of girls talk to a blonde one, she seemed nervous and a bag in her hand with a red ribbon. You knew it was a valentine’s gift, but not who it was for. It wasn’t until it seemed like she gained confidence and walked towards you, that you realised that the girl was aiming for Yoongi.

“Come on” Yoongi managed to whisper before grabbing your wrist, to walk towards the entrance of the classrooms. You took his movement by surprised, but you followed suit as you looked back to see the girl disappear in the crowd. The empty halls and unlocked doors, you were at the hallway towards one of the classrooms where a girl in a blue dress and white sneakers waited at the music room’s door.

“Shit, I forgot about that. Wait here” He whispered, letting go of your wrist to hide you behind a door as he approached the beautiful young girl. His body posture formed with hanging shoulders and his fingers running through his hair, before he rubbed the back of his neck. He was muttering something, but he was too far away for you to hear. Though, it didn’t take a big brain to find out what was happening. The girl started crying, but still gave her bag of goodies to him anyways before running off. He seemed annoyed, but sighed before he gave you a sign to come out of your hiding. He unlocked the door to the music room, knowing well of all the students, that he would be the one walking around with an extra key. You walking inside quietly as he sat at the piano, while you looked outside the window. The view was magnificent, seeing all of the student’s crowd underneath. Different colours from different districts, showing how easily it is to mingle with others. You sat by the window, opening it slightly to let the sound of cheering and air inside.

“How come you always reject gifts, given from your admirers?” You questioned curiously, seeing the bag put neatly by his side. His fingers fondling the piano keys, before pressing one and then another.

“It’s ridiculous” He answered in a mocking tone, hitting a low key to make a point. He seemed tense and perhaps he had the right to, after rejecting a girl a few minutes ago.

“What made you think like that?” You questioned again, setting the tone of a ‘real talk’ while the sound of girls screaming and laughter set in the background.

“I didn’t understand love, when I first started here.” He muttered, turning around to face you while his fingers folded within each other. You raised a brow, asking in silence for him to continue his story. “I had a girlfriend once. She was my best friend, but we decided to date because we fit so well together. She bought me a gift for valentine’s day, and you know what I did?” He asked, making you shrug.

“I said ‘Thanks’ and accepted more gifts from other girls” He sighed, making you crunch your brows of the story. “I treated her like a friend, rather than my girlfriend. I didn’t know, it meant so much to her, that I should have given her a valentine’s gift. Because gifts like that, didn’t mean anything to me.” He spoke softly, with a tone of mediocre that were shivering your bones.

“We broke up shortly after and she found another one. I should have treated her better, but I didn’t. I didn’t just lose a lover, I lost my best friend too. I don’t deserve to get gifts.” He finished, leaning against the piano. You never knew the love story of him but seeing him like this, gave you another sight.

“How about you? I don’t see you as excited about Valentine’s day?” Yoongi asked back, leaning on his thighs with his elbows. His broad shoulder shadowing parts of the floor, taking in your expressions.

“I don’t’ know, I have just thought Valentine’s day is overrated. Also, because I can’t enjoy being with my friends, without hundreds of chicks chirping their way through” You explained exhaustingly, leaning against the window to feel the breeze.

“So it’s our fault?” Yoongi claimed, raising his brow of confusion.

“I didn’t say that. I just miss spending time with you guys, all of us together, alone. Every time Valentine strikes around, it’s like I’m always left alone. It’s exhausting to run away from all that fangirling and I miss the old day when we were in the container after school, with food and drinks. Just having fun. This year is Jin’s and your last together as a group. I just want to use as much time together as possible before you go to university. You guys are like family to me and I just want to be around you.” You spoke, sighing lightly at the sound of birds chirping and sun burning the back of your neck. Yoongi seemed to understand, humming at your answer with a faint nodding. To you, it seemed like the classic jealousy but you loved the boys. You never thought you’d be spending so much time with them, when Hoseok dragged you to a birthday party back in fifth grade. It was like match made in heaven, when you all played together and even grew together in the same schools. But for university, it was different. Some was going abroad and others decided to work before choosing a university to go to, while others didn’t even know yet. It was a path meant to be separated and you knew it already, but decided to cherish as much you could get.

“So, here’s where you were hiding! Be have been looking everywhere for you guys!” Namjoon spoke loudly, opening the door to the room to let the other guys in. Every single one, finding a spot by an instrument or the window, settled in a circle in the centre of the room.

“We got treats for ya!” Jimin proudly announced, launching a big bag of goodies into the room. It’s like Christmas, but with food.

“Oh and this is for you, Y/N” Jin claimed, throwing a small bag of cookies into your hands. A tiny blue ribbon and chocolate cookies were tickling your senses. Crinkling your nose, you raised a brow to ask who it was from.

“It’s from District 7, you know the art guy who always picks up his sister after college. He couldn’t find you but he asked me to give this to you when we met” Jin spoke softly, making you look into the bag of exhaust.

“Not thrilled, I guess?” Hoseok questioned, munching on a truffle that was given to him by a guy.

“No.. Yeah.. I am. It’s just, this kind of thing doesn’t make me want to throw myself into their arms, you know? It’s like they think if they give you gifts, then you will automatically fall in love with them. It’s just not how the world works… I want to feel it, not just see it for a brief moment.” You muttered, looking down at the bag to hear the boys hum and give each other an odd expression.

“Feel it…?” Yoongi whispered under his breath, catching the other’s eyes. Curious, you watched the man step up and look out of the window to see the people gathering up to start the bonfire. “Let’s get out of here” He claimed, walking towards the exit and the others crunched their brows in confusion but followed suit. The long-narrowed hallway, turned to stairs and soon you were all outside.

“Sorry to be a party pooper, but where are we headed?” Taehyung questioned curiously, watching Yoongi fetch his phone to call. Dialling a number, he held up a finger to stop Taehyung from asking further and Yoongi stepped away from the crowd to talk.

“Did I ask the wrong question? Did I miss something?” Taehyung continued to ask the others, who could only blindly stand and shrug their shoulders. Girls caught up on the group of boys in the middle of everything and shortly after, a circle had formed around them. Treats for the boys, but a few for you too. You felt slightly thrilled about the gifts, but you had nothing to return than a smile. It felt meaningless, to get a present when they didn’t even know you. The others seemed to be thrilled and were requested by the girls to have a photo with the boys, who each waited patiently to be their turn.

“Ofcourse he’s blowing a kiss” You whispered, looking at Jin posing for the camera.

“Guys, let’s go” Yoongi came back, waving for the boy’s attention to gather around him. It didn’t take long to say their farewells to the girls, but the sound of big sighs and awes were louder than the school orchestra itself.

“So, what’s the plan?” Jungkook questioned, walking on the side of the boys trying to get a glimpse of Yoongi’s eyes.

“We’re going back to where it started” Yoongi answered, making the boys give each other a glance. It was a short walk, but close to the beach there was an abandoned container. Years ago, it was used for storage but soon enough after a thievery, there was nothing left than a few chairs and a broken chain. Namjoon knew how to get the important stuff that was needed to keep warmth, like a heater and drilling some holes for air when the door is closed. Heck, the location of the container was perfect and close to the public toilets. The others managed to gather couches, board games, old stereo, tables, minifridge and even some decoration for fun. Jin found a chain in his garage and Taehyung found a ‘Keep out’ sign, that was bolted to the door. After a week of work, it was finally complete. A place to escape, that only the group had a key to. It was their place, to escape from the horrors of reality. Whenever they had the time, they would be in this container and it is where Yoongi is planning to go.

As people got inside the container, a voice spoke out from afar, another male with multiple filled paper bags on his arms.

“Oi bro, your order is here!” It was Yoongi’s older brother, delivering food for the group.

“So that’s why he had to call…” Jimin whispered, looking at the sibling united to trade. The boys helping with gathering the food, while you launched out the cans of soda on the table. Shortly, you were all together to sit around a table filled with variants of burgers and fries.

“Man, this is the best” Jin spoke, munching on his burger that had ketchup droll down his fingers.

“The weather is nice, music is blasting, food tastes amazing and together with good people” Hoseok added onto the sentence, making the others chuckle. They were right, nothing was better than each other’s company. Spending it in a place, where you all felt safe.

“And we still got the bag of treats” Taehyung pulled over the bag, pouring some in a bowl to put in the middle of the table. The other giving in and tasting the different kinds of treats, which were put in different efforts. At most of them, you could tell it was store bought.

“They didn’t even take the bar code off” Namjoon laughed loudly, pointing out the white label attached to the plastic bag.

Relaxing in a soft plush couch, you looked at the holes Namjoon had made when the container was under construction, to see the deep yellow but slightly orange sunlight coming through.

“Hey Yoongi, open the door for a second”You requested softly, as the boy was fetching another soda from the fridge. With that, he opened the door to see the sunlight invade the floor.

“The sun is already setting…” Jungkook spoke softly, looking at the half-circled sun disappear in the water. The others watching along, as the streetlights turned on and the sun disappeared to wait for a new tomorrow.

“Feels melodramatic, doesn’t it?” Hoseok muttered with a light smile, looking at the others in the room who was reminiscing.

“Oh that reminds me! Jungkook got something for you, Y/N!” Jimin spoke loudly, making the attention go on the youngest. His eyes widening and mild shaking head, made you tilt your own in confusion.

“Technically it’s from all of us but it was Jungkook’s idea. We just helped getting the right things” Taehyung added, wiggling his brows at Jungkook who was slightly unsure whether to give it in front of everyone, or wait till later. But he could see on your face, you were too curious to let it go already. The others encouraging Jungkook and soon enough, he was persuaded to find the gift in his pocket.

“Happy Valentine’s day, Y/N…” Jungkook muttered, holding out the giftbox in his hand. You were hesitant taking the gift from him but soon enough, you had it in your hands.

“But… Valentine’s day is…” You whispered slightly, looking at the boys who were all sitting with a fond smile.

“Valentine’s day doesn’t always have to be for someone you have a crush on. It’s a celebration of love, in any kind of form. It’s a way of saying thank you, for the love and support you’re giving us” Namjoon explained in a deep tone, watching you smile in response. The glimpse in your eye brightening as you pulled out a keyring, with different symbols of animals added to it. Some were recognisable, like the blue koala and the white alpaca with a red ribbon. That’s the creatures the boys drew onto the wall of the container, when they decided to make this place theirs back in the days.

“You can put it on your key, that is for the container. Also, I know you’re scared what will happen with all of us after college. But we’ll still be together, whether if it’s in person or as an ornament. We all know where to go, to find each other again” Jungkook spoke softly, smiling fondly at your reaction of the cute figures on the keyring.

“Thanks guys, I love it” You hugged each and every one of them. Their arms wrapped around your body like a ribbon and warmth dwelling in your heart, that it was hard not to smile like a maniac.

“Happy valentine’s day, boys” You took a can of soda and raised it in the air, cheering for the boys to join and soon the sound of metal hitting. Valentine’s day was a celebration of love and the boys showed you, there isn’t need for someone on the white horse to rescue you with different shapes of chocolate. Because when you got friends you can call family, is even better.

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dat-town · 6 years

Text

love you like a love song baby

Characters: Jungkook & you

Setting: best friends to lovers

Genre: tooth-rotting fluff

Words: 1.8k

Summary: Just two emo kids growing up together and getting together over a failed sponge cake.

You have imagined it, confessing, countless times.

Cheesy like in romance movies and rushed because you're nervous. You even practiced what you would say. How you would reassure him that, of course, he isn't obligated to return your feelings and he doesn't even have to reply because you just had to get this off your chest.

This feeling that's sometimes too big for your body. It's overwhelming how much he can make you feel. When you have a bad day, sometimes it's enough to hear him talk about some video game or a new editing technique he learnt for his youtube channel. Or when he enthusiastically tells you about meeting that cute labrador by the park on his way home and you can't help but imagine getting a dog together. Or the way he makes your heart jump, your blood sing and your head swim when he envelops you in his big hugs, when he smiles down at you like he means it, when he jokingly lift you up as an exercise and when he oh so casually sings mainstream love songs around you.

But the thing about this growing, pulsing, very much alive feeling in you is that it doesn't only make you happy and excited. It has an ugly part with teeth biting and claws crawling. It's the jealousy and self-doubt whenever you see him around other girls, prettier ones and you see him flash them shy, bunny smiles. It's disappointment when he skips one of your regular movie nights to hang out with the boys or because he's too tired or would rather do his homework. It's the loneliness you feel even beside him in those vulnerable moments because you know he'll never feel that way. And the worst is that you know you can't blame him for these unwanted feelings or the tears nobody has seen you shed late at night because it's all you. It's your fault for developing a crush on your best friend and he doesn't even know.

It's better this way, you tell yourself but you can't help but wonder: what if it isn't?

You and Jungkook became friends at the naive, fragile age of fourteen, in middle school, a questionable phase for both of you but let's admit: listening to depressive music together is one hell of a bonding. It's been history ever since because with him, it's always like puzzle pieces falling back into their places. You went to high school together and Jungkook even joined the art class you wanted to take but was too shy back then to go alone and you were always there to cheer for him at the track and field competitions. When you were both admitted to Seoul universities - you for interior design and him for movie directing -, it went without saying to rent a place together. It felt perfect because what could go wrong? you asked yourself and you didn't know that the answer was everything until Yein.

Before Jungkook had his fair share of crushes he always talked about but never acted on his feelings. So when the pretty girl in his photography class came around it was all new. Suddenly it wasn't just the two of you and you got a first hand experience of what your best friend could feel during your brief relationship with Yugyeom in the junior year of high school. You told yourself that it wasn't jealousy, you just missed your best friend and for real, you liked Yein. She was quiet and smart and she was good for Jungkook and yet, you couldn't be entirely happy for them. After months of denying, struggling alone and fighting it, you finally admitted to yourself why: you were in love with Jungkook. (You still are.) And suddenly, everything made sense. From then on every comment on how cute you look together and every correction that you are just best friends hurt too much.

Jungkook and Yein lasted for about six months. Jungkook refused to tell you why exactly they broke up and said it just didn't work out and let him be. Ironically, a year later you met Yein at a yoga class downtown and ended up sitting down for a coffee to catch up. It wasn't you who brought up Jungkook, she asked about him and told you:

"He couldn't give me his heart, he was keeping that safe for somebody else.”

You have thought it was an odd reason to broke up over in university but didn't tell her. You still chat sometimes when meet in an afternoon yoga session but don't talk about Jungkook anymore.

So things between you and Jungkook shouldn't have changed but they did, inevitably because now you catch yourself staring more than you should as his best friend, especially when the boy has the nerve to walk around the flat shirtless. Or when he clings to you during movies, resting his head in your lap while analyzing every damned thing happening on screen and you absentmindedly play with his hair, combing it with your fingers, your heart shouldn't flutter so much at the content little noises he makes. Or when he asks for your opinion about his latest video and starts explaining all the aspect you'd never understand anyway, the urge shouldn't be so strong to just tell him: gosh, I'm so in love with you.

So yeah, you have thought about it million and million times, counting pros and cons but always ended up too afraid to ruin your friendship. It doesn't stop you though from pouring the amount of your heart's content into the bowl before you after double checking in the recipe how much sugar you need for the cake.

“Shit,” you stare at the kitchen scale in horror and end up scooping half of the sweetener back.

Jungkook seemed a bit down in the morning, probably still fussing over that job interview from last week that didn't go well, and exclaimed that he was going out for a run even in the rainy Saturday weather. He was out of the door before you could tell him to put on a jacket at least. So that's it, that's why you decided to brighten up his mood and make him a homemade cake even though you are a complete disaster in the kitchen if it's anything else but instant noodles. Nobody deserves to be sad on their birthday and especially not Jungkook if you can do anything about it.

But of course nothing works out as it should, you're out of coconut powder, so you change the recipe in the middle of the making. You also accidently put too much cream between the layers of the too thin sponge cake and it kind of falls apart. At least it doesn't taste horrible but it definitely looks like something a six years old would make. Maybe if you didn't listen and dance to the old greatest hits on the radio while baking, you could actually be decent in the cooking department, but nah, what's the point then?

"OhmygOSH! When did you get back?” you cry out in surprise when in-between a dramatic turn to a Disney era Selena Gomez song you notice Jungkook watching you from the living room with strong arms folded in front of his chest and an amused smile on his face. How dares he look at you like that after almost giving you a heart attack?

"Not that long,” he shrugs, something still tugging the corners of his mouth upwards and drops of water from his hair leave wet spots all over the floor and well, everywhere.The neon coloured running shirt he wears is a tight fit on his body, sticking to him like second skin because of the rain and sweat. He looks like he stepped out of a sportswear commercial.

“You have flour on your face,” he points out, nose scrunching, laughing. You love the sound of that too much to mind that he's making fun of you. Too enamoured, you cannot even stop him when with two long strides he steps in front of you and gently wipes off the ingredient with his thumb. Your cheek tingles where he touched you and it takes you a moment to collect your thoughts with him looking down at you like that.

“And you stink, not to mention you are drenched. Go shower and change,” you put your hands on your waist trying to sound and act like you're in charge in the situation. Your messy emotions protest.

“Yes, m'lady,” Jungkook salutes jokingly and you take a deep breath when he leaves.

When he comes back freshly washed in sweatpants and the kind of big white shirt you like to steal to sleep in, he ends up helping you making the frosting on his own birthday cake.You work together so well, methodically and it's so sweetly domestic that those greedy feelings come back again. But it's his day, you won't ruin it, because you don't want to see anything but smiles on his face today.

You order pizza for lunch and eat half the cake before it even arrives. And when it does, Jungkook is already whining with his best aegyo about wanting to get his present. You have been hinting about it for weeks, that you have the perfect gift and can't wait to give it to him. So how could you say no when he asks so cutely?

You watch him with knots in your stomach as he neatly takes off the wrapper of the box and opens it up. Inside of it, there's a vintage polaroid camera he has been talking about for months. Jungkook stares at the device like he doesn't quite believe his eyes and then up at you in awe.

“I love you,” he blurts out eyes shining from excitement, tears brimming in the corners and a huge grin plastered on his face. Your heart does that thing again and you feel the heat of a blush on your face.

“I love you too,” you mumble and hug him tighter when he pulls you into his arms.

You have been friends for far too long, of course, you have said these three little words before but you started to think that it means very different for you. But pulling back Jungkook looks at you half-conflicted, half-determined and his tongue stumbles over the next words.

“No I… I love love you. I think a part of me always did.”

You can't help the light sob escaping you, curling your fingers into the boy's shirt.

“Really?” the hopeful question falls from your lips and for a moment you think you're dreaming because it can't be happening. But then Jungkook lunges forward, takes your face into his hands and presses his sugar-coated lips to yours.

“Really,” he whispers into the small space between you.

Looking at his happy face and listening to the drums of that rapidly beating heart of yours, the realization hits you hard of how utterly stupid you were because instead of imagining confessing, you should have just done it.

#happy birthday to the boy who deserves the whole world #jungkook fluff #btswriters #bangtan bookclub #sfwbangtan #jungkook imagine #jungkook scenarios #bts fluff #stories #i was soft this morning and decided to write this #best friends to lovers

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restlessmaknae · 6 years

Text

Those damn words

The final part of my series called That damn thing we call love.

Part 1 :: Those damn boots :: Boy meets that damn thing we call love.

Part 2 :: Those damn lies :: Boy meets that damn thing we call heartbreak.

Part 3 :: Those damn smirks :: Boy meets that damn thing we call second chance.

Part 4 :: Those damn words :: Boy meets that damn thing we call confession.

Genre: fluff, comedy, slice of life, a bit of angst

Setting: high school!AU

Words: 12k

Main Characters: Jeon Jungkook x Park Miyeon (OC)

►

Senior year was one hell of a ride.

Miyeon never thought that it would be this difficult, even though everyone kept saying that they have to prepare themselves for the worst. Yet, she didn’t want to think of it until she was there. Sadly, she was right there.

She was now one of those students who spent 9 hours at school a day, going to after school preparation classes after, getting home at 10pm and still studying for the next day. Her days seemed countless, the abyss of words, numbers and historical names were spinning in her head like a crazy tornado. She was lost in maps, schedules, Chinese characters, English listening tasks and all she could think about was the insecurity. What if she wouldn’t make it? What if she won’t do well and her future will be ruined? After all, her future depends on one single day.

People often called the CSATs the most merciless tests of all; they had to take the exams for all 5 subjects on one day, sitting 8 hours at the exam centre, waiting nervously for one to pass and another one to come. It was driving them crazy but they had to. It was what the society wanted them to do.

She learned to hate the system, the school, the subjects and even herself. It was the time of her life when she barely had time to recollect her thoughts at the end of the day without falling asleep. It was unbearable. She was constantly afraid of looking in the mirror, seeing a fragile girl who wanted so badly to fly high but her wings were cut off. She was nothing but a bird kept in her cage, unable to leave her responsibilities and worries.

The only thing that kept her alive was Jungkook. If he hadn’t been there for her, she swore she would have gone crazy. Amidst the black, terrifying darkness that wanted to seize her so many times, he was the one who grabbed her and led her to see the light again.

Because when two broken pieces come together, something unexpectedly wonderful would come out of it.

▌▌

Of course, senior year wasn’t all about life-changing decisions and stressful days. It was mostly about that but there were also some lovely moments that they shared together, despite all the hardships and pressure. Miyeon wanted to engrave all those memories in her heart and carry them with her when she goes to university. She wanted to remember all those delighted smiles, contagious laughs and unforgettable times.

The bowling competitions that Jungkook always won and the other boys couldn’t stop complaining because the golden maknae beat them again; the breaks between classes that were filled with Seokjin’s magnificent rice cakes and more than perfect spring rolls; the canteen talks when everyone’s weekends and afternoons were discussed and there wasn’t a time when Hoseok couldn’t give them a reassuring smile when they complained that they barely had time for themselves; the study sessions in the library when all of them were preparing for a test and seized the opportunity to study and spend some time together and all those afternoons or late night chat talks when they couldn’t sleep or kept themselves awake to study a little bit more and they all made their best to cheer each other up.

Her favourite moment was still that PE class when she didn’t have a jumper and they had to go outside to jog around the school’s building, Jungkook immediately coming to the rescue.

“Oh, you’re freezing!” his eyes widened in surprise when he caught sight of Miyeon who was literally shivering from the cold. It wasn’t that bad, though. It was only the beginning of November but she couldn’t bear chilly weather. Not at all. “Here, take my jumper!” he made an attempt to take off his favourite School ruined my life black hoodie but she grabbed his wrist in the progress.

“Don’t you dare, Jungkook! You’ll catch a cold if you don’t wear it.”

“I won’t,” he shrugged her hand off and finally got rid of his hoodie. A little bit of his abs was exposed while he was struggling to take it off and Miyeon looked away guiltily. Not like she didn’t see his bare skin before but she was still amazed at how masculine and good-looking his boyfriend was.

“I’m a tough guy, you know,” he boosted a proud smirk and her face slowly dissolved into a sheepish smile. Oh, she could give in only a short spare of time if it was something related to Jungkook. He had that effect on her. “But please, take it! I don’t want you to get sick, especially with the exams coming up,” he said lovingly and her heart fluttered at his words.

She was sure that she was the luckiest girl on Earth due to the fact Jeon Jungkook was her boyfriend and the more time they spent together, the deeper she had fallen for him. There wasn’t anything that she particularly disliked about this boy, everything was so right when it came to him. He was so pure, innocent and light-hearted but at times he could be cocky, playful and prominently cheeky. He had so many sides but he never – not even once - hurt her with his behaviour.

She swore that he wasn’t a human being. He was more like an angel that stuck on Earth and accidentally bumped into her. She had no idea how she was able to deserve his love but she made sure to let him know how thankful she was, so she gave a quick kiss on his luring lips.

“Jungkookie, I’m freezing, too!” Taehyung blurted out in a childish manner when he saw their cosy scene. Miyeon took a step back and bit her lower lip in embarrassment. Right, the boys were there, too. To be precise, the whole class was there as well. It was a PE class, after all. Oh boy, the presence of Jungkook literally makes me forget everything else.

“Sorry, I don’t have another jumper,” Jungkook turned to his friend, a bratty smile evident on his face.

“Please…” Taetae pleaded with his puppy eyes and the boys who joined them one by one burst into laughter when they heard his response.

“You’re not my girlfriend, so you can’t get my jumper.”

“I’m your friend, remember?” he huffed like a furious little kid who couldn’t get his favourite candy at the shop. The others couldn’t stop laughing beside them, Jimin even had to grab Yoongi’s shoulder in order to prevent himself from collapsing to the ground in between his contagious giggles.

“Looks like that doesn’t matter anymore,” Namjoon nudged his shoulder gently and everyone knew that it was just an act to tease him. Everyone knew that it wasn’t true, that’s what made the situation even more hilarious.

The boys had never complained that Jungkook put Miyeon over them as it wasn’t true. He spent as much time with them as he used to – the only thing that reduced the time that they could spend together was studying – and found a balance between his duty as a boyfriend and his role as a friend. It was fortunate that Miyeon got along well with the 6 dorks because this way, he could be with his buddies and his girlfriend at the same time. He was sure a lucky guy.

“I swear I’ll get a jumper for you for Christmas, okay? But right now, my girlfriend needs it more than you,” Jungkook reached out his hand and mushy or not, he made a pinky promise right then and there that he would buy a jumper for Taehyung for the next Christmas which wasn’t even far. The CSATs would take place on 17th November and Christmas was only a month later.

“I love how he emphasises the fact that Miyeon is his girlfriend. It’s so cute!” Hoseok put a hand over his heart, his reaction making the lovebirds slightly nervous but also thankful. They still couldn’t get used to how supportive the guys were and they had seen it as a real gift from the boys.

“Whenever I ask Miyeon about Jungkook’s whereabouts, she doesn’t say that ‘Jungkook has gone to the library’, no, she always says that ‘My boyfriend’s in the library.’ I guess they just want to make us feel worse since we don’t have girlfriends.”

“That’s not true,” the couple chorused in unison after Seokjin’s words.

“At least, we have no pressure as what to buy for our girlfriends for Christmas,” Taehyung shrugged his shoulder like it was nothing but his sentence struck them like lighting. The thought that Christmas was coming up in weeks didn’t seem to cross their mind amidst all that studying but they did their best to cover it up.

“You know what you’ll buy for me?” Miyeon raised an eyebrow in question but his boyfriend answered within a second.

“Of course!”

“Oh really? But it’s only the beginning of November.”

“If you hadn’t already noticed, I don’t like to procrastinate things,” he directed a smug smirk at her but in reality, he had no idea what he wanted to buy for her. And in reality, she was perfectly aware of that little fact that her boyfriend was lying. Nevertheless, she smiled softly and let him believe that she knew nothing.

Because until he only lied about such things, it didn’t really matter.

▌▌

The day before the CSATs was a nerve-wrecking one.

Something in Miyeon’s guts told her that it would be the best if she didn’t study more but she couldn’t resist the urge to go through her exercise books one last time. To make it easier, she turned off her phone, so that she could concentrate on the pages in front of her, instead of the adorable messages from the boys.

She was in the middle of re-reading some Chinese practice tests when she heard a knock on her door.

“Come in!” she shouted indignantly as a frown was making its way onto her face. Who would dare to interrupt her when she was studying for the exam of her life?

The sudden visitor opened the door so quietly that she wasn’t even sure that anyone had tried to come in. She turned her head to see who it was and her heart skipped a beat when she realised who was there to see her.

“Jungkook!” she squealed happily, her weary thoughts immediately replaced by a sudden jolt of gratitude. “What are you doing here?”

It wasn’t peculiar for her to see Jungkook in her room as they were officially together and after her parents also received the news, his visits became frequent again. She was lucky because her parents approved of her boyfriend and when he got there, they always greeted him like he was also the part of the family. Small wonder how he could show up at her door on such a day. Her mom must have let him in.

“You didn’t pick up your phone,” the boy pouted.

“I wanted to concentrate on studying, so I turned it off,” she explained and felt a bit guilty from the thought of making him worried.

“Ah, come on!” he came up to her and seized her book. She got up in an instant, getting ready for a fight to get her property back but Jungkook held it up above his head, so there was no way that she could reach it. Her frown deepened. She needed a back-up plan really quickly.

As she was tiptoeing for the book, an excellent idea popped out of her mind. She took a step back and waited for the boy’s reaction. As expected, he looked dumbfounded but didn’t lower the book, so she had no choice but to go through with the easiest method; tickling. She took the opportunity to use his confusion and playfully smacked him in the chest. It caught him off-guard and Miyeon could easily snatch the book from him.

“You’re so cunning.”

“Perhaps, I learned a thing or two from you,” she grinned childishly, making her boyfriend laugh. It was true that it was usually Jungkook who used such tricks on her but they spent enough time together, so she knew his weak points by then.

“Then, you could also learn that we don’t stay up late to study the day before the exam,” he said half-jokingly, although his voice was laced with concern.

“I know, I just feel like I need to−“

“You need to rest,” he cut her off and reached for the book again which she still held to her chest. The more he spoke, the easier it was for her to let go of that book. In the end, he could easily take hold of it and put it in her drawer. “You have to recharge your batteries and go to bed early, so that you can be relaxed tomorrow. Plus, it’s absolutely useless to revise everything today because you are already well-prepared.”

“I−“

“You are, Miyeon. Trust me. I know you and I know how hard you worked. You will do your best tomorrow and you will have wonderful results,” he protested as he tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear.

His eyes were shining with fragile fondness, the little stars on the sky of their love the indicators that he really cared for her. It wasn’t an act, he wanted the best for her and wouldn’t stop until she gave in. She knew it, she knew it all too well. Those months together taught her that one person can leave scars on the road of your soul that never seems to heal while others can leave innocent seeds that would eventually turn into a beautiful, resistant tree. The more they care for it, the more it grows.

After his soothing words, she dropped an agitated sigh and sat down at the edge of her bed. Jungkook soon emulated her action and slang an arm around her shoulder. She couldn’t deny that his affectionate words soothed her nerves a little but she was still shaking inside. What if something goes wrong? What if she won’t make it? Such doubts nestled into her mind and kept her in their rigid cage. No, everything will be just fine, she reminded herself while making an attempt to shake off the unwanted thoughts. It wasn’t easy but she tried her best. If Jungkook was there for her, she knew he would do anything to distract her. This time, she wouldn’t even mind it.

“It’s so weird that this will all end tomorrow,” she whispered while her fingers were toying with Jungkook’s fingers. His hand was prominently big compared to her small ones but she liked the sight of it because despite the apparent difference, they seemed like a perfect match. It was like they were made for each other. His hands in her hands, his skin to her skin, their hearts beating like one. Nothing seemed more perfect than that. “We will be over it. No more exhausting PE classes, no more canteen talks, no more classes with the same teachers and same students. It feels peculiar.”

“Change is not always a bad thing,” Jungkook pointed it out wisely and she couldn’t argue with that. However, she wasn’t sure that she was ready for such change.

“But I’m afraid of that change,” she admitted, nervously biting her lower lip. “Aren’t you?” she looked up at her boyfriend who was currently drawing tiny circles on the top of her hand.

Every single time he made physical contact, his touch triggered pleasant chills running down her spine. It was searing but not in a dangerous way, more like in an attractive way. It was almost like playing with fire; feeling the heat while knowing for sure that she won’t get hurt. Jungkook was the fire that could be passionate and gentle at the same time. She wasn’t afraid to get closer to it.

Her melancholic tone echoed through the silence of the room. For a minute, she could hear nothing, except the lovely melody of their heartbeat. Maybe for someone else, it could be heard as crazy cacophony but for her, it was the most beautiful lullaby.

“I am,” Jungkook cleared his throat but his voice was barely audible.

“You don’t seem like you’re afraid.”

“I know,” he nodded. “It’s hard for me to express my feelings well but I’m afraid, too. Mostly because of the boys,” he confessed, his eyes suddenly filled with grief. His orbs always reminded her of the peaceful waves in the ocean which mildly crashed against the nearby shore, unlike the others which were wrathful and merciless. Now, if she looked into those jet-black holes, she couldn’t miss out on their mournful glistening.

“Are you afraid that you will drift apart?”

“Yes,” he hummed. His voice was so fragile, it hurt for her to hear him like that.

She knew that most of them had chosen a different path. Yoongi wanted to be an interior designer, Hoseok a human resources manager, Seokjin a business manager, so that he could open up his own restaurant one day and wouldn’t face financial difficulties. Namjoon wished to study psychology while Taehyung and Jimin were interested in teaching – especially primary school students -, the grinning angel as a History teacher and the latter as a PE teacher. Jungkook hesitated concerning his future goals because he was quite self-conscious, despite the fact that he was good at almost everything. In the end, he opted for computer engineering because it would allow him to make lots of money and still have time to teach dancing for kids as he always wanted to. Last but not least, Miyeon wanted to be an interpreter because her enthusiasm and skills for both English and Chinese motivated her to choose this path.

All in all, it was obvious that they would attend different universities – luckily, they would all still stay in Seoul – but she knew that it shouldn’t be a problem. Nevertheless, she wanted to ease his worry, so she started talking about her experiences regarding drifting apart.

“When Taeyeon said that she would like to be an exchange student, I encouraged her without giving much thought. As soon as I got home, I broke down in tears. I realised what I would miss if she wasn’t beside me and it hurt like hell. It hurt even more when she left. But eventually, things got easier and it didn’t hurt that much. People get used to missing others. People come and go but as they leave their traces in our lives, we also live our traces in their lives.”

Her words were followed by an inexplicable silence. It wasn’t embarrassing or unpleasant though, it just felt odd. It was like a resigned goodbye. They were perfectly aware of the fact that life was always like this; it was a mysterious ballroom full of people who knew that they may never see each other again, some came on their own, some in the arms of their lover but there was one thing that was common in all cases: they were all there for a reason. Just sometimes they didn’t know the reason themselves.

“Now, you’ll be the one who goes somewhere else,” Jungkook drew another sigh as he thought of the following year.

“That’s right,” she gulped nervously. Even if it was painful, it was her life now; her future, her destiny. She couldn’t do anything besides accepting her fate. “Taeyeon says that it’s totally okay and we’ll still talk but I know it’ll be hard. I will be a university student while she will be a senior and it won’t be an easy thing to arrange dates for us to meet up,” she murmured, a sorrowful sigh escaping her mouth. “But we’ll try our bests. Because that’s what we do; we fight for those who we love,” she made an attempt to give him a warm smile but it was barely a flinch.

She was uncertain, worried and undeniably terrified. Even though she would still live and study in Seoul, she knew it won’t be easy to adapt to the new environment, getting to know new people, new professors and different learning methods. This year, she couldn’t even speak to Taeyeon as much as they used to do because she studied so much. Moreover, Baekhyun was there for her when she wasn’t, so Taeyeon couldn’t complain that she felt lonely. Without a doubt, love can change friendships, too.

Miyeon started fidgeting in his arms as another thought flew across her mind. It was screaming in her head for so long, she knew it was time they talked it through. She took a deep breath and asked as seriously as possible.

“What about us?”

“Us?”

“Yeah, you know,” she bit her lower lip as she wasn’t sure what she wanted to hear. Yet, her boyfriend gently patter her head, his silence an encouragement for her to continue. “We’ll attend different universities and have different schedules. I’m really afraid what will happen to our relationship,” she stuttered, her voice almost as shaky as her heart.

She knew that university didn’t mean that her life would end and all her relationships would come to an end. Nonetheless, even her parents couldn’t deny when she asked them that it’s the time of her life when relationships tend to change. Love can change, too. Despite the fact that she trusted Jungkook with all her heart, she wanted to give him freedom, so that when he goes to university, he wouldn’t have to spend all his time with her. On the other hand, she didn’t want him to think that she wanted to push him away either.

Miyeon knew that he also had a say in this, that’s why she asked him. And his response couldn’t have been more reassuring.

“We’ll make it work, Miyeon,” he claimed confidently. “I promise that together, we’ll get through this, too. We’ve overcome so many hardships, I can’t let university stand in our way,” he shook his head fervently and his reaction made her heart leap.

At times like this, she was sure that this boy was a miracle. No matter what happened, he always fought for them, he always fought for her. Even when he had difficulties, he made sure that his tenseness wouldn’t affect her. She had to make him see that she wanted to be there as well. And slowly, as trust started to break down the walls between them, he let her see the side of him that only some people were allowed to see. The more she saw the fragility of this boy, the more she was in love with him.

“Pinky promise?” she held out her hand, her lips raising into a childish smile. Jungkook interlocked their fingers without further hesitance.

“Pinky promise,” he boosted that smirk of his that was seriously beyond words and slowly kissed her on her forehead.

She found heat crawling up her skin while her nerves were beginning to fray. Even her cheeks flamed up at his affectionate skinship but Jungkook always had this effect on her. She tried to cover up her embarrassment, so she laughed it off.

“We are so pathetic, aren’t we?” she giggled, looking down at their intertwined pinkies. It’s a promise that can never be broken, they said. Oh, how she wished it would be true for them, too.

They soon broke into little fists of laughter and it was one of those moments that she wanted to keep for herself so badly. She wanted to remember this special day, this special conversation. It’s true that there was nothing extraordinary concerning their little heart-to-heart talk because there were hundreds of others like this one but still… It was their moment.

“Jungkook?” she poked him on his forearm to get his attention. He averted his eyes back to her, his orbs filled with the most beautiful shooting starts that she had ever seen.

“Yes, babe?” he asked, making her slightly cringe. She found a liking to be called by her new nickname.

“I’m the luckiest girl on Earth to have a boyfriend like you.”

Her sudden confession caught him off-guard but nevertheless, he was thankful for sure. He struggled to say something for a second but then, his lips curved into an ethereal smile.

“What would I do without you?” he sighed, pulling her closer to his chest, so that she could hear as their hearts were beating together in perfect harmony.

I hope our promise can never be broken either.

▌▌

The day had come.

She had already woken up when her morning alarm broke the utter silence of the room. She slammed her hand on it but she was so nervous, she almost pushed it off her bedtable. She swiftly put on her school uniform and after she had put her hair up into a strict ponytail, she stayed in front of the mirror for one more minute. It was the last time she had to wear her school uniform and it suddenly felt so saddening. She couldn’t run away now, the day that they all dreaded for most of their life had arrived after all. It was now or never.

“I wish I could go back to enjoy just one more day at school,” Miyeon murmured under her breath and gave her reflection one last nod before she headed downstairs.

Her parents were already waiting for her in the kitchen and her mum even made her favourite tuna mayo kimbab with rice, just to make sure that she could start her big day right with enough energy and the sufficient amount of nutrition. She had to force herself to eat because she didn’t have an appetite as her stomach churned with worry every single time she remembered what day was it.

After breakfast, her mom packed even more food for her but in the end, it was her dad who gave her a lift to school along with Chanyeol who was still trying to stifle yawns. He had to get up earlier if he didn’t want to miss the opportunity to cheer for his sister who was nervous as hell.

“I got up at 6am even though I don’t have school today because I wanted to perk you up but I don’t think I’m doing a good job,” he pouted like a little kid and looked at Miyeon who chuckled feebly in response.

“I really, really appreciate your effort, Yeollie, but there’s nothing that could make me feel at ease right now. When you take your CSATs next year, you will understand why I feel the way I do.”

“Really?” he raised an eyebrow in question, a sly smirk insinuatingly appearing on his face. “Even my aegyo can’t?” he wiggled his eyebrows and if it hadn’t been the day of her exams, she would have chortled at his reaction but she wasn’t in the mood at the moment.

“Nope.”

“Don’t be sad, no no no. You’re not alone, no no no. You always became a light for me,” he sang the iconic No No No by Apink at the top of his lungs but the worst of all was the fact that he sang it with his high-pitched voice. The whole situation was beyond hilarious because Chanyeol was so into singing that he didn’t take notice of his surroundings, thus he didn’t realise when they finally arrived at their school.

Miyeon glimpsed at their dad sideways who managed to keep his cool but he couldn’t hide that his lips curved into a bashful smile and a shade of light pink tinted his cheeks. It was a song that was known by him, too, because it was her favourite song some years ago and whenever they went to a karaoke bar, she whined annoyingly until she couldn’t sing it.

Now that she heard it in Chanyeol’s performance, it somehow seemed so ridiculous but exceptionally entertaining. Consequently, she couldn’t keep her composure in check, she immediately burst into laughter. That’s when his father gave in as well.

“Oh, please, stop!” she demanded in between laughs but his brother continued on singing his heart out.

“Hold my hand, come and lean on me. I’ll always be your strength.”

“I didn’t know that my son is such a passionate singer,” their dad giggled while he was trying to find a free parking spot in the crazy hustle-bustle around the school.

The whole street was buzzing, everyone was going up and down, concerned parents were giving their kids one last hug before the students went into the school building and Miyeon caught sight of several police officers who were on duty at the scene. The government’s priority was to make sure that the CSATs would take place without any bothersome incidents, so this year their tightened their security.

“The point is that I could make Miyeon smile with my singing skills which she didn’t believe that I would be able to do,” he puffed his chest out in pride.

“Yeah, you’re right,” she nodded in submission. “And thank you so much for your little performance, I really enjoyed it,” she complimented and gave her brother a quick peck on his cheeks. Chanyeol’s jaw dropped upon the way she decided to indicate how thankful she was and despite being the blabbermouth, this time he couldn’t manage a single sentence out.

When he finally scooped himself up and opened his mouth to say something, his father cut him off.

“It’s time, honey,” he reminded her tenderly and got out of the car to open the door for her. Miyeon dropped an anxious sigh and literally forced herself to skip out of the vehicle.

“Good luck, Noona!” his brother followed them outside and gave her a big bear hug. She felt safe in his hands, knowing that no matter what happens, he will always be there for her. His presence was reassuring and although the tenseness of the following hours were weighing down on her, she felt at ease until he didn’t let her go. “I know you can make it! You’re the best,” he whispered into her ears, affectionately stroking her hair like he was the older and she was the younger who needed to be taken care of.

“Thank you,” she gulped, struggling to hold back her tears.

When it was time to say goodbye for real, she swore she saw as her father was trying to wipe a tear away with the back of his hand. She assumed that the resemblance between her first day of school and this day – the last day of school – set him on edge as well.

When her dad gave her a lift on the first day of primary school, Chanyeol also accompanied them, holding her hand like he never wanted to let her go. He was curious to see how his sister steps into the big world of studying, so he went with them. Even if she wanted to, she couldn’t forget what he said then.

“No matter where you go, Miyeon-ah, I’ll always be with you,” he patted her head and boosted a proud grin. “You can always find me there,” he pointed to her T-shirt but when she looked down, she realised that he didn’t mean the flower pattern on her shirt but he pointed to her heart.

The lovely memory got her back on track and gave her a definite push to head to the classroom where she would take her exam. As they were divided up into groups in alphabetical order, she had to sit for the exam with Jimin, Yoongi and some other guys who were closer to the squad – such as Jinyoung – but she obviously searched for those irresistible, jet-black eyes and that bunny smile of his.

No sooner had she found him that someone pulled her closer and wrapped his arms around her waist. Jungkook’s sweet scent immediately wafted through her nose and filled her lungs. She loved to breathe in his scent – the relaxing vanilla and mesmerizing cinnamon – because it felt like home. He felt like home.

“Did you have enough sleep, babe?” he whispered with hushed voice and earned a jealous glare from Jimin who was walking towards the couple. On his right, there was Yoongi who could barely keep his eyes open. It was probably not because he studied until late at night but she assumed that it was because the day of the exam shortened his hours devoted to sleep.

“I did. And you?”

“Me too,” Jungkook smiled down at her and planted his lips on hers. She melted into his quick yet passionate kiss and forgot about everything around them. That was only until Jimin showed up and huskily started prattling.

“Looking at them, I really wish I could have a girlfriend right now. She would also hug me from behind and ask if I had enough sleep. Or she would bake something for me,” he babbled dreamily, his eyes staring far ahead. Yoongi scowled and looked at him like he didn’t know the guy beside him. He was certain that it wasn’t Park Jimin. If yes, then he wasn’t his friend.

“Did someone mention baking?” a soft male voice asked behind them and Miyeon didn’t have to turn around to know who had just arrived.

Kim Seokjin was grinning like a mischievous little kid, holding a huge food box in his hands, adamantly clutching it to his chest. Some of their classmates gave him disapproving looks as he was manoeuvring himself through the crowd to get to the rest of the squad. Namjoon, Taehyung and Hoseok accompanied him by both sides but all of them looked less enthusiastic and more anxious than him.

“Oh gosh, finally! Here’s my saviour!” Jimin placed his hands on his chest in relief when he caught sight of his friend. To be precise, his friend’s food box. “Perhaps, you’ve baked something for us, right?” he raised an eyebrow in question, a cautious smile spreading across his lips.

“Of course! There’s no way that you could do well without my magnificent hotteoks!” he stated wittily and handed out some pancakes for all of them. Miyeon was a bit taken aback by the fact that Seokjin even had time to cook before their big day but maybe that’s how he relieved his stress. Come to think of it, she spent her whole afternoon talking with Jungkook and since Seokjin didn’t have a girlfriend to keep her company, maybe that was his way to prepare himself for the exam of his life.

“Everyone just calm down, okay?” Hoseok suddenly blurted out and he looked so frantic that Namjoon felt a need to place a sympathetic hand on his shoulder.

“I think you need to calm down the most from all of us.”

“Yeah, eat your rice cake, Hobi!” the eldest suggested gleefully. Everyone knew that Hoseok tried to look manly and cool all the time but he was the first to get scared when it came to such situations. Nevertheless, they were always there for him and if they stayed with him, he believed that everything will be just fine.

Namjoon cleared his throat to get everyone’s attention and when Taehyung stopped looking into space and Hoseok finally managed to avoid biting his nails, he solemnly clapped his hands.

“Guys, remember that if you mess up, the world won’t end. You have to take the CSATs one more time but you will have another chance. However, I know everyone’s going to do well, so you don’t need to worry! Life is full of tests and trials and although it is an important one, it’s not our first and not even our last fight. And because we are together, we are stronger. You know what we always say,” he playfully winked and everyone – including Miyeon – already knew the answer to his question.

“Teamwork makes the dream work.”

Their motto echoed through the hall and filled the lockers, filled the silence and filled their hearts.

“That’s right, guys. Now, let’s do well! Everyone, hwaiting!” he raised his arms into the air, his hands balled into fists. Everyone emulated his action and repeated his words in a festive manner.

Consequently, Miyeon suddenly felt like she was a part of the army which was ready for war. Whereas, she was delighted to fight along such brave and warm-hearted soldiers. She wouldn’t change them for the world.

▌▌

As the saying goes, Christmas comes but once a year.

Miyeon was honestly so thankful that she didn’t have to survive two Christmas-like occasions in the same year because she had enough problem with finding the most suitable present for everyone once. For starters, she didn’t even have a single idea regarding Jungkook’s present, let alone all her relatives’ and the boys’. As she wasn’t particularly fond of procrastinating things, she made an attempt to buy everything weeks before Christmas but she ended up purchasing them in the last minute.

She had almost one month after the CSATs to get ready for the holidays but in the first weeks, she didn’t do anything except sleep and spend as much time as possible with the boys, her wonderful boyfriend, her lovely brother or her best friend. She finally felt like she had time for herself as she didn’t have to study until late at nights and it felt unknowingly relaxing. A sudden spike of guilt sometimes ran through her when she was watching a romantic drama or reading a book because it was so obvious that her duty was to study. On the other hand, being free was something that she couldn’t afford for a long time, so she was glad to enjoy such lazy days.

“Honey, Jungkook is here!” her mom shouted from the kitchen while she was working diligently in her room, wrapping up Taehyung’s present in cute, Christmas-style paper.

“One sec,” she exclaimed, putting her tongue out in concentration as she put on a snowflake sticker on the boy’s box. She dropped a weary sigh and deftly put the present in a bag with a satisfied grin on her face. She hoped that they would all like her gifts because she had a hard time choosing for them, although she knew them for more than a year now.

Miyeon seized all the things she needed and sneaked a last glance at her figure in the mirror before hurrying down the stairs, getting ready to meet with Jungkook.

The boy was wearing his favourite Timberland boots, black ripped jeans and a fluffy, beige sweater, the one that she had bought for him last Christmas. She felt a blush staining her cheeks pink when she realised that he did it on purpose. Otherwise, he wouldn’t boost such a guileful smile.

“Hey!” he bent down to place a light kiss on her forehead. “You sure have a lot of presents!”

“I do,” she chuckled. “Can you help me carry the bowl my mom put on the table? She baked gingerbread for the boys and I don’t want to exaggerate but she baked a lot,” she emphasised the word because seriously, her mum packed three times the amount she thought that would be perfectly enough for them.

“Sure. My mom also sent some cupcakes with me.”

“Oh gosh, we will get so fat this Christmas!” she joked, a chortle escaping her rosy-coloured lips.

“Never mind,” Jungkook shrugged his shoulders and waved his hands, indicating that he didn’t care about such things. “Even if you are 110 or 330 lbs, I don’t care. I still like you the way you are,” he confessed, making her face turn scarlet-red. His compliment sent warm shivers down her spine and she found herself trembling, bathing in his endless affection. “Still, you need to eat a lot! I don’t want you to lose weight again!” he poked her nose in fondness but his tone was anything but playful. He cared for her like a loving boyfriend would do and she couldn’t be thankful enough for his courtesy.

Miyeon blushed deeply as she was listening to him because she felt like she was being admonished. However, it wasn’t anything like that. He merely wanted to make sure that she wouldn’t skip meals and lose as much weight as she did when she was preparing for the CSATs. She devoted all her time to study and solemnly had appetite, therefore, she had lost several pounds but after all the hustle-bustle with the exams, she was gaining weight again, so he didn’t need to worry.

“I won’t,” she promised sheepishly, making him feel at ease.

Jungkook casually slang his arm around her shoulder, pulling his girlfriend closer. His close proximity was warm and reassuring like a chilly night beside the fireplace. His love was the fire itself, his little compliments and actions the flames that would set their relationship on fire, making sure that it wouldn’t get burnt down or go out. He was the light for her and the warmth that it produced. Every single time her heart was beginning to get frosty, he would melt it down with only a touch of his hand, a soothing word or one of those little things that always reminded her the she was loved.

After all, it wasn’t always a bad thing to get close to the fire.

▌▌

Half an hour later, after a joyful bus ride, they finally arrived at the Kim’s house which was decorated with lovely Christmas festoon lights and garlands around the window and door frames. On top of that, they even had a wonderful outdoor tree! The whole house was so pretty and cosy, Miyeon couldn’t wait to step into the hall.

Jungkook confidently knocked on the door three times before the host appeared with a cheerful smile on his face and a fuzzy brown reindeer antlers headband on his head.

“Yay, even more cookies!” Seokjin clapped enthusiastically, immediately shooing them into the warm hall. The smoky winter air was replaced by cinnamon and apple scented candles and the remarkable smell of baked goods. Overall, the homey atmosphere was filled with joy, love and care. “I thought nobody would bring dessert, so I prepared a lot,” the boy giggled whole-heartedly while helping them with their boxes and clothes.

“How many?” Miyeon inquired, tiptoeing behind his boyfriend who busied himself with putting on their coats on the coatrack.

“3. I made maejakgwa, mochi rice cake and red velvet snowballs. And yes, if I failed to mention, we also have yuja tea and dessert punch with persimmon, cinnamon and ginger.”

“Wow, hyung, you are really something.”

“I know,” he wittily rolled his eyes. “But since I’m the host, I have to make the most out of this Christmas lunch, right?” he winked playfully, his bright smile never leaving his face. His festive mood was seriously contagious; she immediately found herself grinning with him, curiously looking around herself.

Upon seeing her enthusiasm, Seokjin gave her a little tour around the house since she had never been there before. It wasn’t peculiar, though. They knew each other but they mostly hang out at school, in the city centre or at Taehyung’s house whose parents were literally the most adorable couple on Earth. They loved their squad like family and they even acted the same when she was around. Although she wasn’t their son’s girlfriend, she was always welcomed.

“I need to have a look at the turkey but you will find the boys at the living room, so just feel yourself at home!” Seokjin announced a couple of minutes later and shifted his attention to Miyeon. Honestly speaking, she was quite nervous amidst all those beautiful decorations and the totally unknown environment but she nodded anyway and let Jungkook take the lead.

His boyfriend blandly led her to the living room where all the other guys were waiting for them – or perhaps the food – to arrive. On the way to the noisy room, he suddenly pulled her closer, lacing their fingers together. She looked at him sideways, just to catch sight of a small smile forming on his lips. He was such an overprotective boyfriend, even at times like this.

“Miyeon-ah!” Hoseok hollered and almost scarred the hell out of Yoongi who was beside him, totally spaced out. Unbeknownst to him, his friend gave him a deadly glare as a warning.

“Hey, I don’t even get a hello?” Jungkook snorted slightly, making the older boys snicker in amusement. It was so fun to tease him.

“Sorry, Jungkookie. Then, let’s start again! Welcome, Park Miyeon and Jeon Jungkook! My name is Jung Hoseok. How may I help you?”

“Actually, you can help me eat the gingerbread my mum had made,” Miyeon suggested as she took a seat beside Taehyung who gave her a high-five. God knows why he motioned such a childish gesture but she had to admit that almost from the moment she met him, she grew to like his infantile nature. There was no need for justification, he was adorable.

“Did someone mention gingerbread?” Seokjin shouted from the kitchen.

“Yummy!” Jimin ran his tongue around his lips like he was already hungry.

“No way, guys!” the host protested fervently when he arrived with a pot of steaming soup and put it on the table. Everyone swiftly took their seats and moved from the couch to the dining table, earning an approving thumbs-up from the chef. “You will need to eat the lunch first and then can the dessert come.”

“You’re such a killjoy!” Taehyung pouted but Seokjin merely stuck his tongue out at him. After all, no one could blame him as he was the one who had devoted his morning to cook for 8 people and bake 3 types of cookies for them. Perfectionist he was, he put all his effort into this celebration but didn’t want to start the lunch right away.

“Would someone like to say a toast?”

“How about all of us saying a few words?” Namjoon looked around, waiting for the others’ reaction. Yoongi was the first to counter his intentions.

“No, I didn’t sign up for this!”

“Ah come on, you can say a few nice words to your friends once a year!” Hoseok nudged his shoulder, his trademark grin displaying on his face. Maybe it was his bright mood or perhaps Yoongi realised that he was being a bit too harsh on his friends but he gave in a couple of seconds later.

“Alright. Then, I’ll start,” he cleared his throat. A moment of silence followed his words, everyone anticipating his confession. He wasn’t the type to just voice out his feelings, he was fond of keeping it all to himself. For this reason, they were on tenterhooks to learn how he actually felt.

“So, you guys all know that I can’t express myself well,” he admitted gingerly. A solemn yet hopeful atmosphere fell upon the room, the boys’ silence a push for him to continue what he had started. “I tend to act strong but I’m actually weak. I know I still lack a lot but I want you to know that I’m always thankful that you are with me. You are like my second family. I couldn’t be who I am today if it wasn’t for your affection and acceptance,” he acknowledged with a hushed voice, his words leaving a sentimental aftertaste.

The boys couldn’t cover up their bewilderment, Taehyung’s jaw dropped and Jungkook’s eyes widened like he didn’t want to believe his own eyes. As far as Miyeon was concerned, a sudden jolt of warmth simmered through her body, filling up her cells and melting her heart. “Thank you everyone for staying with me this year! Merry Christmas!” he wrapped up his speech with a thankful smile, leaving no choice for his friends but to tremble with gratitude.

“Oh, that was so touching” Hoseok put his hand over his heart, testifying that he was truly dumbfounded. The others nodded in agreement but Yoongi didn’t want to be in the spotlight anymore, so he asked for the next volunteer.

“Next?”

“Chimchim!”

“Since I’m so popular here, I’ll go next,” Jimin chortled when he heard Taehyung’s exclaim, a bit of a blush making its way onto his face. He ruffled his coal-black hair in embarrassment before he managed to scoop himself up and started speaking. “I’m so happy to spend this afternoon with you. I think Christmas is a magical time and it always reminds me that I’m lucky to have such friends. Not just you, guys, but you too, Miyeon-ah,” he averted his eyes to the girl who gathered the ends of her hair and crossed it over her face. She was sure that her cheeks were already burning. The boys couldn’t help but giggle at her endearing reaction. As expected, Jungkook came to the rescue and gave her a reassuring squeeze on her hand before Jimin could share his wish with them. “I hope we can stay together like this for a long time. Maybe forever is too much to ask but for a long, long, long time,” he accentuated, his eyes hinting at his honesty.

Hoseok was already in high spirits when they got together but Jimin’s speech boosted his eagerness, so he was the next to share his thoughts with them.

“I’m sure of it,” he commented on his friend’s last words. He was so confident, nobody dared to question his desire. “We are friends for more than 7 years now and I wouldn’t change those years for anything. We were always able to give strength for each other and I think we are even stronger since we have a lady on the team,” he winked at Miyeon who had already freed her hair but felt a need to cover his face again. “I wish you all a holly jolly Christmas and never forget that I love you,” he shaped a heart with his hands and laughter erupted when he did some aegyo, too. Jungkook wouldn’t let the chance slip to tease him.

“So mushy!” he rolled his eyes like he was ashamed of his mate but deep down everyone knew that he wasn’t.

This was an evidence for the value of their friendship. They could mock each other without anyone getting upset and they could be themselves without anyone looking down on them for their behaviour. Friendship consisted of bare souls connecting to each other in the most beautiful yet most inexplicable way. There were no mirrors, walls or masks; there were only touches, nerves and hands. Friendships never asked for a lot; only when the parties involved gave their all could it fully bloom.

They fell into a comfortable silence until Hoseok squinted at Seokjin who was sitting beside him, motioning him to speak up. He was more than happy to accede to his request.

“I honestly love Christmas the most out of all holidays,” he started, donning such a gorgeous grin that Miyeon questioned why he was still single. Not that Seokjin was more handsome than his boyfriend because it was impossible for her to see other guys more attractive than Jungkook, but it was a fact that he was good-looking. Plus, he could cook and take care of others well. What else do you need in a boyfriend?

“Not because I can try out new recipes but because we always spend it together. As the oldest, I always think of you as my little brothers and since we met Miyeon, I also try to do my best to take care of our lovely Miyeon like she was my little sister. And even though you mock me a lot, I’m proud to be the eldest,” he puffed his chest out and she felt the basic sincerity of his words. “Last but not least, I hope you will like the lunch and also my presents. Merry Christmas, everyone!” he fidgeted in his chair, clapping enthusiastically like a 4 year old kid would do on his birthday party. Nevertheless, the boys appreciated his words and wished him the same in unison.

It was time Namjoon gave another psychology lesson, so it came as no surprise when he took his turn.

“We have gone through a lot this year. We were diligently preparing for the exams which we could successfully wrap up, so we deserve some rest now. On the contrary, we all know that it’s still not the end of our obstacles because they always come yet they always go. We have a lot to learn, a lot to prove, a lot to give and a lot to receive. I wish to experience it with all of you, so that we could help each other to become a better person and a better friend.”

As there was no hint of amusement in his voice, everyone stayed silent for a minute. His words were wise and represented the blunt reality. There was no use of disagreeing with him because all he said was true and it was what made them speechless. Reality scared them.

Namjoon was the first who wanted to break the silence and that’s why he nudged Taehyung’s shoulder to show that he wanted him to be the next. The messy-haired guy’s chestnut-brown eyes suddenly lit up and shined with fondness. There was only one thing that could trigger him to react like that; when he talked about his family.

“My father said that walking with a friend in the dark is better than walking alone in the light,” he paused and pondered for a thought. Then, he continued like nothing had happened. “He was right. I can fool around when you’re around and I can be the real me without being ashamed. Thanks for putting up with my weird personality! I know you all take care of me, even though you sometimes whine or roll your eyes at me. And I also try to take care of you but sometimes you can’t even see it. But I hope later, you will see it, too,” he bit his lower lip coyly.

Miyeon was taken aback by his timid behaviour because he wasn’t usually like that but she blamed it on the seriousness of the situation. This conversation ended up being way more heartfelt than she would have guessed at first.

“We see it, Tae, and we are really thankful to you. Don’t ever doubt that!” Namjoon slang his arm around his friend’s shoulder, ruffling the younger guy’s hair affectionately.

“Next one?” Taehyung looked around, searching for the ones who still hadn’t poured out their hearts yet. He seemed relieved after he had said out the words that were stuck in his throat.

“Jungkookie,” Hoseok cheered loudly, earning a sheepish smile from the guy.

Jungkook nervously played with their intertwined fingers while he was searching for the right words to say. She pursed her lips, examining the state-of-the-art boy who was at a loss for words. Usually, he was her compass; he showed her the way and guided her through the darkness. Whenever she needed an anchor to stay steady, he became one. Without asking him, he always knew what to say and now, he was the one who sat there, sinking into his chair, holding her hand tightly. No word could escape his mouth.

“You guys supported me from the very start,” he mumbled after a minute of unbreakable silence. His voice carried an enigmatic air that chilled her to the bones. “Even when I didn’t believe in myself, you taught me how to accept who I am and how should I stand out for what I want. You didn’t judge me nor leave me when things got hard. I still have a lot to learn but thanks to you, it seems less frightening,” he confessed, looking straight at the steaming pot on the table. Everyone knew that it wasn’t because he was rude or because that’s how he tried to cover up his lies. It was merely because he wasn’t used to opening up. “I hope we can continue to be as great friends as we are now. Merry Christmas, guys!” he finished with a tiny little smile. His beautiful jet-black eyes were all the lights on the Christmas tree, shining brightly and fondly. One couldn’t get enough of looking into them because in every minute they showed something new, something more.

“No words for Miyeon?” Yoongi furrowed his eyebrows in question, making his doubt clear.

“I want to talk to her in private,” he responded coyly. Miyeon had no idea what he was up to and looked away in embarrassment. Her cheeks were burning like the vanilla-scented candles on the table.

“Oh, I sense a confession!” Jimin cooed and the others soon joined in.

“Our lovebirds!”

“I swear they are the cutest couple I’ve ever met!”

“They make me feel lonelier than I usually am,” Yoongi murmured sulkily. Upon seeing his reaction, the boys immediately erupted in laughter. Taehyung laughed so hard that he almost shed a tear while Seokjin patted Yoongi’s shoulder to show his most sincere sympathy.

“Miyeon, would you like to add something?”

Namjoon’s question caught her off-guard as she wasn’t prepared to give a speech. She thought that it was the boy’s little heart-to-heart talk, despite the fact that she was also mentioned several times. Nonetheless, she didn’t think that she would have to share her thoughts but she did it anyway. It turned out to be a bit rushed and she didn’t even know if it was a jumble of words or her lips formed actual words but it was time she thanked the guys for their love and care.

“I honestly feel like I’m the luckiest girl on Earth to have met you, guys. You always act so naturally with me, even though I’m your friend’s girlfriend and guys don’t usually accept their friend’s girlfriend.”

“We are gentlemen, aren’t we?” Hoseok wiggled his eyebrows.

“Yes, you are,” she chuckled, her lips curving into an ethereal smile. “Your behaviour didn’t change when we broke up with Jungkook and I’m really thankful for that. It couldn’t have been easy for you,” she suddenly shifted her gaze away in shame. She didn’t intend to broach up the topic but the words had already slipped out of her mouth when she realised that it wasn’t a good idea.

“Yah, Park Miyeon!” Seokjin exclaimed fervently, making her slightly jump in surprise. “Don’t you dare to think that we don’t like you and we only bear the sight of you because of Jungkookie! You are a lovely lady and a supporting friend, so I don’t want to hear another sentence like that!”

“O-okay,” she stuttered. Her eyes were widened in shock. Without a doubt, Seokjin’s overprotective mommy side showed up again and she definitely didn’t see that coming. She needed another second before she could get herself back on track and continue her monologue. “So the thing is that I’m really happy to be in your squad and be here with you today. You’ve helped me a lot with your constant support and cheerful messages, so I feel like it’s already a gift that I can spend this special day with you. Merry Christmas!”

The moment she finished her speech, the guys’ wishes filled the room and echoed back from the walls. It didn’t take long to found herself in their affectionate, big group hug. Needless to say but she didn’t need to think about it twice; it was her best Christmas ever.

▌▌

After the wishes and speeches, the lunch was served and all of them ate well. Seokjin was undoubtedly a super talented chef, his menu was definitely appetizing and extremely delicious. He prepared seaweed soup, roasted turkey with rice and wok vegetables and the already mentioned desserts; red velvet snowballs, maejakgwa and mochi rice cake. On top of that, he did it without any help because his parents spent their Christmas Eve with their friends who lived in Gimhae, so they already left in the morning. Not to mention that he specifically wanted to make it on his own, so he was lucky that his parents let him.

After lunch, it was time for presents! Everyone was buzzing and repeating the same – they hoped that the others will be happy when they receive it. Miyeon bought a pink apron for Seokjin, a psychological book - Demian by Herman Hesse - for Namjoon, scented candles for Yoongi, a fluffy scarf for Jimin, a mug for Hoseok with the caption ‘Fluent in the language of dance’, an anime collection for Taehyung and an art sketchbook for Jungkook with an aesthetic iron. Luckily, everyone seemed to like their presents and she even received a long, thankful kiss from her boyfriend who was yearning after a new sketchbook for so long.

The guys bought together for the couple and she would be lying if she said that she expected a totally ordinary gift. Yet, she couldn’t say a single word when she unwrapped the box with Jungkook. A moment later, they both broke into little fists of laughter.

“Whose idea was it?” Jungkook raised his eyebrows, a grin evident on his face.

“Mine,” Seokjin raised his hand in an instant. Apparently, he was proud because he puffed his chest out. “But aren’t they cute?” he whimpered, looking at the couple pyjama set in admiration. They got the same checkered set with a long-sleeved shirt and pants and the only difference was in their colours; her pyjama was red and his was blue.

Jungkook’s present was the last but it was the icing on the cake. Her boyfriend printed lots of pictures about them – some of them she had already seen and some which she had never seen before – and put them in an aesthetic, hand-made photo album. The pictures showed both the most beautiful and most difficult moments of their relationship, small wonder why she almost broke into tears when she finished watching them through. She was so touched that she couldn’t say a proper thank you but compensated him with a sweet kiss.

For the boys, Jungkook did the same but everyone got different photos and different album covers. They were laughing at how ridiculous they looked and there were some photos that they had never seen before, so they were surprised to face them now.

Time went by as quickly as a summer’s night and it was already late at night when they bid their goodbyes and headed home. Jungkook promised to walk her home and she didn’t even protest. They were walking down the streets, holding hands and talking about the afternoon. It was so reassuring. The chilly night air of winter kissed their cheeks, leaving their marks on their bare skin to be remembered. Tiny snowflakes painted the ground dazzling and slowly fell on their coats, putting a new costume on them.

“You said that you want to talk to me in private,” she reminded the boy after some time because she was on the edge to know what he wanted to talk about. Jungkook seemed to forget about it because he suddenly ruffled his raven-black hair in frustration.

“Yeah, that’s right.”

“What is it?” she inquired, her eyes searching for those irresistible black holes. When he looked her in the eye, her legs weakened. Her heart was beating like a drum, waiting so damn impatiently for his answer. Deep down, she wanted him to say those words but she felt numb from the thought of him saying them out loud.

On the contrary, Jungkook was just as nervous as the first time he confessed. He knew that it would be another important milestone in their relationship but he wanted to make this moment a bit more special. He wanted her to remember the words for the rest of her life. He didn’t want them to fade away like the warm spring coming after the freezing winter, healing the wounds that the cruel weather caused. He didn’t want them to disappear with time, he wanted to make them immortal.

“Actually,” he cleared his throat but he didn’t need to get her attention, she was already looking at him. Her caramel latte-like eyes were glistening like precious little diamonds. “I wanted to say it somewhere else not on this street, maybe not even on Christmas Eve but then I’ll say it now,” he slowed down and came to a halt.

Miyeon struggled to keep her composure in check. Her heart was hammering away rapidly, making her feel a bit dizzy. She was longing after those words, those damn words that neither of them dared to say out loud. It was funny to think that how three single words could give them headaches and frazzled nerves, keeping them awake at nights or cherishing them to sleep. Maybe they weren’t like the oxygen that was essential to every human being but they were more like water that their relationship needed to stay hydrated.

“I was thinking of it for quite some time now,” Jungkook started nervously, scratching the back of his neck. His jet-black eyes represented the whole universe for her, she wanted to get lost in them and never be found again. But until he was there to look for her, she wasn’t in danger. “I am so thankful that you stayed with me and even though you had a hard time with those bullies at school, you’ve still chosen me. I wish I could give you more but that’s what I can do. I only know how to take care of you and I sometimes think it’s not enough because I don’t tell you how I feel as often as I should,” he admitted, his voice trailing at the end.

“It’s okay, Jungkook. You don’t have to tell me everything,” she tried to easy his worry with a reassuring smile but he shook his head.

“But I want you to know how lucky I am because you are beside me,” he tilted his head, his gaze fixated on her eyes. He held her hands tightly, squeezing them like he never wanted to let her go. She was trembling like the falling snowflakes around her. She was afraid that this beautiful and quiet glass would eventually break, scattering into pieces. Was it an exception that their house of cards wouldn’t collapse this time?

“I love you, Miyeon,” he whispered to her, into the cold night air, ensuring another magical moment for Christmas Eve.

Miyeon’s heart missed a beat as his words made their way out of his mouth. His voice was barely audible but she knew that he meant it seriously. She could see her own reflection in his jet-black eyes, seeing the past, the present and the future at the same time. She didn’t want this moment to pass, she wanted to hold it in her hands, stopping the time that was ticking by.

For a moment, she stayed right there and the boy thought that she got scared off, so for the first time that day, his confidence waned, his eyes widened in fear.

“I love you, too, Jungkook,” she managed the sentence out and without thinking it through, she crashed into him for a bear hug. He chuckled as her fragile body pressed against his and her vanilla-scented hair tickled his skin. When she was in his arms, he felt strong again, he was ready for a fight, he was prepared for any war. In the name of love, he would voluntarily fight until the end. And she knew it and that was love was really about.

Sometimes you need to question the other’s intentions and make sure that you feel the same way. Other times, you already know the answer because he’s right next to you, holding you tightly, gently strolling your hair, whispering soothing words into your ear. Your hearts are beating at the same time but no words are exchanged. Sometimes those damn words can make you feel at ease but sometimes you don’t even need words. A soft touch, a kiss on the forehead and a press on your hand is enough.

Sometimes his presence is enough.

■ ◄◄

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thedefinitionofbts · 6 years

Text

A Thousand Centuries

Pairings: Kim Seokjin x Reader

Genre: Fluff, Soulmate Au

Words: 5k

Description: A Seokjin soulmate au requested by @marsmellowl85

A/N: My first Jin fic!!!! Mars, thank you for always supporting my writing so enthusiastically. I hope you like this one!

Have you ever wondered if you were unknowingly looking for someone?

You were told as a kid that your perfect partner is out there somewhere. That one day they’ll come and take you away like a Disney prince or the male lead of every romantic movie, and that they would always love you for who you are, unconditionally. But as you grew older, you realized that the world is not that perfect dream-like fantasy and fairytales are just therapeutic stories, no more, no less. And that the existence of a soulmate, that thing that you’ve heard about since you were young and the idea that people continue to take delight in fantasizing over, is nothing but a simplistic adolescent dream.

You didn’t think it would be something you’d ever believe in, and certainly not after you grew out of daydreaming about fictional stories and imaginary scenarios. After all, it was just an idealistic concept, something that isn’t meant to be seriously considered because it went against all logic.

But then you met him.

A man as beautiful as the flowers that bloom in the middle of spring, their colors scattered throughout endless fields and vibrant meadows, telling centuries worth of emotions and memories that are as visceral as the ones located in that inexplicable place within yourself.

“Do you want to be partners?”

You lift your head to the source of the voice, eyes slowly tracing along the silhouette of the person standing next to you. He awaits patiently for your response, eyelids blinking gently as your lips part slowly at the sight of him.

“S-sure” You stutter, realizing you had been staring at him in silence for longer than you should have.

His face breaks into a gentle smile, one that makes your heart suddenly tug in a way that it has never done before. “Great! My name is Kim Seokjin.”

“Y/N” You reply lightly, still looking at him in mild disbelief.

He pulls up a chair and sits down next to you, the elegant scent of his cologne filling the air between you, instantly throwing you back to a dream you had experienced not too long ago, one in which you were wandering in a flower garden, holding the hand of a man whose face you could not see.

“I was thinking we could design a park” His voice cuts through your momentary lapse.

Your thought bubble bursts, and you’re back to realizing you’ve yet again been staring at him for longer than you should.

“A-a park?” You utter nervously, mentally scolding yourself for being so out of focus one the first day of Architecture class. This was very unlike you’re usual on-top-of-things self, and the professor had even mentioned just moments ago that this project would count for 50% of your final grade. In your defense, you also hadn’t planned on having the most popular guy in your year to ask you to be project partners.

“Yeah, like Central Park in New York City” He explains. The voices of the other students who were paired up in the classroom are drowned out completely as you observed the way he pulls a notebook and pen out of his backpack to make design plans and sketches. “I know it’s mostly landscape architecture, but I think we can get really creative with designing castles, bridges, fountains and other structural elements.”

“That sounds like a great idea!” You manage to say without stuttering and making a fool out of yourself for once. “Central Park was what actually inspired me to major in architecture.” You confess, using it as more of a conversation filler than anything.

“Really?” Seokjin’s eyes light up and his mouth opens in astonishment. “Me too! My parents took me there for vacation when I was young, and it was amazing!”

His full body reaction surprises you, making you forget how to respond because you were wondering how in world his demeanor had changed from being calm and collected to something so…animated. You actually have to suppress an oncoming laugh, opting to just let out a small giggle instead.

“So we should probably get started as soon as possible,” You suggest, feeling much more comfortable now that he’s made you laugh so effortlessly.

He takes a second to ponder over your proposition. “Are you free this weekend?”

“Yeah”

“Great!”

…

Kim Seokjin was everything you had expected him to be. His soft and delicate features were physical traits that would be the object of envy for anyone who had the fortune of laying eyes on such a breathtakingly beautiful man, but his playful and uplifting personality revealed a duality that could only be described as fitting for someone so unique.

He was a man who carried a type of aura that gave off the undeniable impression that you’ve known him for a long, long time, like the scent of home or the warmth of companionship. And it made you feel like you finally understood what it meant to meet a person that you had an air of familiarity with, despite the fact that your encounter with him had happened only recently.

“We should start from the edges and work our way towards the center.” Seokjin says as the two of you sit the in studio with your sketches splayed out on the long table. The glass walls of the building were crystal clear, allowing the sunlight from outside to penetrate into the room as masterpieces were born out of boundless imagination.

“What do you think the theme of this section should be?” You inquire, peering over at the piece he was working on.

“Young earth at the beginning of time” He whispers, gazing at his roughly drawn garden of shrubbery and small plants.

“Born in the desolate ocean,” You read the little note scribbled in the corner of his drawing, tilting your head as you examine the artistic meaning behind the theme.

“Oh yeah, that’s what I’ve sort of named this section of the park.”

You have a sudden flashback to a dimly lit cave, the atmosphere cold and damp. The rain outside is falling in sheets, with droplets twirling in the wild wind and dripping onto the frozen rocks. A human-like creature sits next to you hesitating to lean closer. You do not remember who it is, but you recall the feeling of him using his arms to embrace you, growing a human heart and learning how to love for the first time.

“I like it” You finally comment as your mind is brought back to the present.

“Oh good, I was kind of worried the idea would be too wacky for your taste.” He chuckles. “

“You would be worried about that?”

“Well, not that I would’ve doubted myself, because you know, my ideas are always brilliant.” He grins, exuding a kind of humorous confidence that you were just starting to get to know, but at the same time, you had sort of expected the exact response.

“I’m just surprised you chose me to be your partner of all people” You murmur, dropping your gaze shyly as you felt his eyes land on you, scrutinizing the way you were nervously biting your bottom lip.

“Well, you were the closest person in the room” He voices, not noticing the way his words made your heart drop like a stone being thrown in the water because he was too distracted by the his own design thoughts to pay attention to the way you shifted uncomfortably in your seat.

“Oh…”

It was then that you felt the cathartic joy of finding that distant object of your yearning for the first time, only to be hit by the realization that no matter how close it was, it will always be just out of reach.

…

Do you know that you carry a perpetual feeling of loneliness despite being unaware of it?

Perhaps it stems from the ingrained yearning for something preordained that cannot be grasped, a set of emotions and memories so visceral that the even the time that carries them cannot help but to preserve such a gift through numerous centuries.

“Chaos”

You whip your head around to face Seokjin who had his eyebrows furrowed as he stares at his design for the next section of the park.

“A time in human history when things were sort of wild, and there were wars between empires that rose and fell.” He explains. “Making people even more dependent upon one another.”

You notice a distant sorrow manifest in your chest, or maybe it was always there and you were unaware of it until now, but Seokjin’s words ignite a constricting sensation to grip at your chest, one that makes the air in the room feel thin and insufficient. You vaguely see the figure of a man dying in your arms. The blood gradually seeping through his tattered soldier uniform makes you want to scream, but the faint smile on his face just before his eyes close tells you that was not the last time you would see him. And that thought somehow made everything ok.

You blink away the strange tears that are trying to form in your eyes. “I see that you’re trying to make this park sort of a walk through history.” You analyze with as steady of a voice as you can, attempting to piece together his relatively abstract ideas and making sense of it all.

“This is the section where we can put a castle on a hill and stone bridges arching over streams.” He turns to you enthusiastically.

You smile in return.

“Is something wrong?” He asks, noticing the tear quietly slipping down your face.

You quickly shake your head and reach up to wipe it away. “No, no, I was just thinking about a sad war movie I saw a couple of years ago.” You lie, sniffling one last time and averting your eyes for a quick second.

There’s a pause as he continues to gaze at you curiously, expression hard to read other than the gentle blinking of his eyelids.

“You must be hungry,” He suddenly states.

“What?” You breathe out in disbelief. “What makes you think that?”

“It’s late afternoon and neither of us have eaten all day.”

You glance over at the clock hanging in the studio, and to your utter surprise, t was almost 5pm.

“Should we call it a day then?” You query, turning your attention back to him who was already packing up the supplies.

“Definitely.” He confirms as he zips up his bag. You turn to do the same, but he isn’t finished talking. “Hey, do you want to come over for dinner?” You hear him ask as he continues to check that he’s packed everything.

Your heart skips a beat. “Umm, sure. Are you ordering take-out?”

He shakes his head. “I’m the resident chief in my group of friends.”

“Oh really” You raise your eyebrows in disbelief. “Am I suppose to just take your word for that?”

“Hey, just ask any of my buddies.” He defends. “They’ve all relied on me to feed them for years.”

It’s not that you would’ve rejected his offer anyways. Hell, he could be the worst cook in the world and you would still gladly eat anything he placed on the plate in front of you because it meant being with him for that much longer, which these days (or more like ever since you met him) you strangely harbored the urge to do.

You think it’s a just natural attraction, no different from any of your other crushes in the past, but of course you’re trying not to overanalyze the sudden onset of these mysterious flashback you keep on getting or the inexplicable feeling that washes over you whenever the stillness allows your thoughts to do as they please.

Seokjin drives the two of you to his apartment that he shares with two of his younger friends who are both, quote, immature little brats, end quote. Apparently they bicker all the time, but it’s mostly just the youngest that won’t seem to “let him live”.

“’Bout time you found yourself a girl” Jungkook comments the moment you and Seokjin step through the door. “At this age I was starting to worry you were going to die alone.”

“Ya!” Seokjin shouts at the boy lying on the couch with his eyes glued to the TV screen and hands wrapped around a game controller. “Show some respect or I’m not feeding you tonight.” He turns to you. “Please don’t take him seriously.”

You nod, feeling your face heat up just a tad bit because you honestly weren’t expecting such a blunt comment, even if it was in the form of a joke.

“Hi, you must be Y/N” Another person pops up from nowhere, he had light blonde hair and his eyes formed a pair of half moons as he smiled at you. “I’m Jimin.”

“Nice to meet you” You greet him.

“And the little brat over there is Jungkook” Seokjin adds, nodding towards the guy on the couch.

“Hey! I heard that” Jungkook snaps back, despite his attention still drawn towards the game flashing across the screen.

“Good” Seokjin shouts back.

“Don’t mind them two. This is completely normal.” Jimin reassures you, noticing how awkward you were feeling in such a situation.

“Oh wow…” You murmur, taking a deep breath. So Seokjin wasn’t kidding about the bickering, go figure.

Seokjin also wasn’t exaggerating when he said he was a good cook. His culinary skills turn out to be excellent, and his tastes are refined. He prepares a full course meal for the four of you, complete with side dishes that barely fit on their moderate sized dining table. All you can see in Jimin and Jungkook’s eager eyes as they stare at the food splayed out in front of them are how thankful they are to have Seokjin as an older brother figure, and it is then you are able to understand how good-natured their relationship is, despite the bickering.

“Noona, so are you and Seokjin hyung…” Jimin sneakily glances over to the kitchen where Seokjin was still finishing up the last dish, making sure he can’t hear what you guys are discussing.

“No, no” You violently shake your head, feeling your cheeks blossom into roses. “We’re just project partners.” You explain.

“Really…?” Jungkook butts in, clearly unconvinced according to the tone of his voice. “Hyung asked a girl to be his partner? Without any other intentions?” He crosses his arms and snorts. “I find that hard to believe.”

“I was the closest person in the room” You quickly interject, not knowing why you were getting so defensive. Perhaps it was a failed attempt at preventing your cheek color to deepen even more than it already was.

Jimin’s eyes disappear into crescents. “Kookie’s right, he usually stays away from girls because he doesn’t want to deal with unreciprocated feelings. Cause, you know, it’s hard not to fall for someone as handsome as hyung.”

“Please” Jungkook rolls his eyes. “Let’s not boost his ego more than it already is.”

“What was that about my ego?” Seokjin’s voice makes all three of you jump in your seats as he walks up to the table with a pot of boiling stew.

“N-nothing” Jimin quickly says. “We were just talking about how admirable your confidence is.”

Seokjin’s eyes narrow as he looks from Jimin to Jungkook and back to Jimin. He doesn’t look convinced, but he lets it slide because everyone was starving and ready to dig into the food before it gets cold.

“I’ll drive you home” Seokjin says as the two younger males are tasked with washing the dishes in the kitchen.

“It’s ok, I can just take the bus”

“That’s inconvenient and it’s late.” Seokjin insists, already grabbing his car keys.

The drive to your apartment is a silent one, sans Seokjin’s occasional comments on the project and the 3-D software that you’ll soon be using to make your rough sketches come to life.

You’re not really paying attention to all of the details because technology was never really your thing, and you’re mind is dozing off after a long day. Despite your half conscious state, you’re still entranced by the way he’s expertly controlling the steering wheel, the way he drives so smoothly and how safe it all makes you feel.

Before you know it, you’ve reached the destination.

“Umm, thanks for dinner” You say as you unbuckle your seatbelt.

“No problem. I should be thanking you for putting up with those two.” Seokjin says, sighing and looking around as he debated how to phrase his next sentence. “So uh, maybe next time we could go out for dinner or something. Just you and I.”

For a moment you think you didn’t hear what he said correctly, but when you look up at him in surprise you notice a faint flush in his cheeks under the streetlight.

“Y-yeah, t-that would nice” You manage to respond, despite your heart pounding a mile a minute.

“Great! So, I’ll see you tomorrow?”

“Yeah”

And then you’re watching him drive off, wondering why all of this felt so familiar and so right like it’s happened before in some far off land or the distant past.

…

“So this castle you’re designing…” You trail off, eyes tracing over the 2-D blueprint of the structure Seokjin was designing at that very moment, his hand hovering in midair as he waits for you to finish your analysis. “What inspired such a layout?”

It wasn’t that you were purely curious about where he got the idea because you know it’s probably not that significant and if it were any other castle, you wouldn’t have even battered an eyelash, but this, this particular castle was all too familiar, in fact you think you’re becoming delusional for equating it with the one you saw in your dream the night before.

There’s a long pause as he tries to form a response. “I don’t know,” He ultimately says. “It kind of just came to me.”

You can practically sense that’s there’s more to it than he is choosing to explain, but he’s holding back for some odd reason.

“The secret passageway” You begin to point out, walking over to examine the tunnel that leads into the bedroom in more detail. “someone has used it to meet with their lover.” It’s a confident statement rather than a passing comment or even a question, and you have no idea what invisible force has compelled you to declare something so absurd with such certainty.

“The prince and his secret lover, a female warrior who was not allowed to be with him but eventually became his queen.” Seokjin turns to glance at you, his dark eyes unreadable, making you question if it was a coincidence he knew exactly what happened in your dream.

Time stills.

And you can see the lovers on a bridge, watching the sunset together as they’ve finally vowed to change the ways of the old where status decided who you could and could not love, to build a better kingdom and rule over its people with justice and equality. The man standing next to you is your king. He was the man your birth proclaimed you could never be with, and yet you are by his side.

You have been acquainted with this man numerous times, despite not being able to recall who he is or why he is altered and unchanged at the same time. He is reminiscent of the figure in all of your ephemeral hallucinations, the creature in the cave, the dying soldier….

Are they the same person? They can’t be… can they?

…

Kim Seokjin is sweet. He’s everything that is warm and inviting about a cozy home, the nostalgic tranquility of the calm sea at the brink of sunset, and he reminds you of dainty cherry blossoms in the spring, the way pink flower petals drift in the wind.

But Kim Seokjin is also humorous and lively, and he’s able to fill a room with his contagious laughter that initially seems like a mismatch to his elegant physical features, but makes him even more attractive and compelling.

You also find out he’s great at singing.

“Wow, I didn’t expect you to be good at so many things” You comment as you walk alongside him by the river after he had taken you out to dinner. The moon was bright on a clear evening, and the city lights were reflecting off of the dark water like dazzling gemstones.

“With a face like this?” He quickly does a modeling pose, and even under the guise of the night you can still see the self-satisfied look on his face.

You giggle. “What does looking good have to do with cooking and singing?”

He blinks blankly a couple of times, realizing his statement did in fact, not make any sense. “Aish, I said it at the wrong time.” He shakes his head in disappointment, making you laugh even harder.

“I’m not denying your good looks,” You say in between your muffled giggles.

“I’d be surprised if you were. I’m certified worldwide handsome.” He grins, and you playfully roll your eyes even though he probably can’t see anyways.

You smile and shake your head, not knowing why his arrogantly confident attitude comes off endearing and amusing when you know for a fact that if it were any other person you’d be annoyed by such a narcissistic proclamation.

Maybe you were just blindly infatuated, or maybe…

“You’re really beautiful, you know” His unexpected remark makes your heat skip a beat.

You turn to look at him not knowing what to say.

“You remind me of a lot of things I can’t make out.” He continues, and you notice he’s not looking at you but is instead staring at the starry sky.

“Seokjin…” You murmur, drawing his attention back toward you. You see his lips curve up slightly when his gaze lands on you.

“It’s getting late, we should probably head back.” His statement makes your heart drop ever so slightly, and for once you’re glad there are no streetlights to illuminate the melancholic tint in your eyes.

Kim Seokjin is physically close yet so far away, and although all of your senses tell you he’s right there, well within reach, the imperceptible distance between the two of you remains unchanged.

And it makes you wonder if you’ll ever find what you are looking for.

…

The following section of the park was intended to transition into the modern world, so the next few weeks of brainstorming was dedicated to experimenting with different contemporary elements.

“A cityscape” You suddenly voice as the idea pops into your head. “What says modern-day more than a high-tech city? We can use metal wires to depict the skyline of a metropolis using abstract shapes analogous to those found in contemporary art.”

“That sounds like a great idea” Seokjin concurs. “We could add decorative lights so that the area is illuminated at night.”

You nod enthusiastically, and proceed to jump straight into sketching. You were imagining a mall area lined with trees that guided park goers towards the center, using the metal fencing as the foundation for the lights Seokjin had suggested.

“The cement sidewalks in this area of the park are like empty city streets.” He comments as he hovers over your drawing, examining the newly conjured shapes on your sketch board.

“Empty city streets...” You echo slowly, seeing the exact scene he was describing in the back of your mind.

A man is holding a bouquet of baby blue flowers, wearing a perfectly iron suit as he gets out of his car. You don’t see his face but you know that he’s smiling wider than the Pacific Ocean, and your heart is swelling as you begin to make your way towards him. Then there are lights and the sharp squeak of tires against the pavement, and everything goes black.

“Y/N?” Seokjin’s voice brings you back to the sketch.

“Huh?” You realized you had spaced out again.

“I was just wondering if you had any ideas on what to put in the center of the park.” He says. “It’s probably going to be the most important section. The one that ties everything together.”

“The center?”

He was right. The center is what the two of you have been building up to, and whatever piece you decide to put there will ultimately define the meaning of the park, the meaning of the story your architectural elements were trying to convey.

Normally it would be pretty difficult to come up with such an essential portion, but you had a pretty good idea of exactly what should be placed in the center.

…

By the end of the semester, you and Seokjin had completed the entire park. It was breathtakingly magnificent, and even the professor was extremely impressed by everything the two of you had put so much time and effort into crafting, even referring to it as one of the greatest he’s seen in all his years teaching an upper division architecture course.

“A walk through a thousands centuries.” Seokjin sighs as he gazes proudly at the finished design displayed on the screen.

“It turned out really good,” You agree, smiling softly.

“I’d never thought I’d say this, but my favorite part is the sculpture you designed for the center piece.”

His compliment puts a satisfied and sentimental smile on your face. You’re eyes turn towards the precise piece that he was still examining, its three dimensional shape even more mesmerizing now that it was projected on the big screen.

The piece that you had designed was the culmination of your flashbacks and dreams from the past semester, a tangible portrayal of everything that you had felt but could not put into words or explanations. It was a statue of a round time portal, one that faces an area of planetary alignments dancing across the cosmos on one side and two faceless people standing in each other’s embrace on the other.

“What was the inspiration behind it?” Seokjin’s voice cuts through your brief lapse, and you realized it was the first time he’s asked you the same question you had been asking about his designs. Turning your attention towards him, you notice that he’s looking at you in a way he seems to have never done before, like he’s truly seeing you for the first time. He is exclusively focused on you in that moment, and truthfully you kind of wish he wasn’t waiting so intently for your response because it makes you too nervous to admit the real motivation behind your work.

You had actually considered the idea kind of silly, and you didn’t really know what compelled you to design such a structure, but the idea had taken shape throughout your semester spent with Seokjin and although part of you wants to brush off that strange feeling of overwhelming emotions you’re hit with when you are with him, it was a calling that spoke to your heart rather than your mind to create such a representation of what the park in its entirety meant to you.

“It’s just something that sort of hit me out of the blue,” You voice nonchalantly, clearing your throat because the room was awfully silent and you could literally hear the pounding of your heart.

“What are you going to call it?” He asks softly, voice almost inaudible.

Your breathing pauses, and it was like all of your indiscernible, frenzied thoughts had been set aside to make room for one thing only.

“Reincarnated to be together.” You whisper, not in complete control of where your words were coming from, where such an impression had manifested into tentative form. Your mind might forget, but your heart will always remember.

“One day we suddenly remembered the past.” You hear the melodic tone of Seokjin’s voice dance over to your eardrum, sending a shock wave coursing through your veins.

Seokjin is rooted in place as he finally realizes the one thing that had eluded him all along. He had been searching all this time, for the girl whose soul was hidden behind all of his designs, but only now has he realized it was you. The stories that traversed over centuries of human kind, the fate written in the stars at the beginning of the universe was the unbroken link between of the two of you.

“You’re him,” You breathe out as your eyes flicker up to meet his, the identity of the faceless person in your flashbacks finally coming to light.

“Sorry” He finally whispers. “I should have known.” His parted lips linger as his gaze trace down to your lips and back up to your eyes.

You look into them, eyes that are conveying everything he doesn’t need to put into words because you already know.

“We found each other,” He murmurs, and that’s the last thing you hear before feeling his tender lips meeting yours, closing the gap that you had thought would never be conquered.

The feeling that you know all too well, the same motion you’ve felt many times over, like artistic brushstrokes on a clean canvas waiting for millennia of stories to unfold, crafting the masterpiece that it was always meant to create, a destiny that will always be fulfilled.

Kim Seokjin kisses you like he’s been waiting for lifetimes to do so. He caresses your cheek like he’s been searching for you since the beginning of time and he holds you in his gaze like you’re the only thing he can see because he was born to love you and reborn to find you in every century he has been alive.

“Until civilization is destroyed once again, On the first day after a thousand centuries In the Garden of Eden we’ll stand side by side And laughingly watch the sun be extinguished.”

...

#bts scenarios #bts fanfic #bangtan bookclub #btswriters #sfwbangtan #seokjin scenarios #seokjin fanfic #seokjin x reader #kim seokjin #jin #requested #Thank you Mars! 😘#lots of cheese #Just in time for Jin's birthday #this story was actually inspired by a Mayday song of the same name :)#and the last part is a translation of the last verse #the center piece of the park is inspired by the album cover for Illenium - Leaving #the one that was on Jungkook's spotify playlist hehe ;)

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sfwbangtan-blog · 7 years

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✻ be a story finder!

Becoming a story finder is self-explanatory: you simply have to contribute to the network by searching for non-smut writings and helping them get recognition.

Now, how to do this? the good news here is that you do not need to be a member! the only requirement is for said stories to be SFW (which means they do not include smut).

Once you have found a story you want to share with us, all you have to do is send us a message here (anonymous or not) with the name of the story and the username of the author you wish to recommend. If you want, you can also include a review or a comment about the story in your message. We will publish your ask and we will mention the author so they know they have been recommended.

As you can see, it’s pretty simple! this is just a more dynamic way of sharing more works within our community and to give them the recognition they deserve.

If you are not a member yet and want to become one, please check out this post.

Thank you and have a good day!

#story finder #sfwbangtan

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thesunnyshow · 4 years

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Name: Rach

Writing Blog URL(s): @dreamystuffers

What fandom(s) do you write for? Mostly BTS, SKZ, and NCT but I’m looking into branching out more in the future

Age: 18

Nationality: Chinese-Canadian

Languages: English, French, Cantonese, Mandarin, (learning Korean)

Star Sign: Aries Sun & Moon, Taurus Venus

MBTI: I/ENFP-T (it changes between I and E a lot)

Favorite color: Purple and/or mint green!

Favorite food: Neoguri

Favorite movie: Your Name

Favorite ice cream flavor: Mint chocolate!

Favorite animal: Alpaca

Coffee or tea? What are you ordering? Iced americano or caramel macchiato (coffee). If I’m at home, I’ll normally just make jasmine green tea.

Dream job (whether you have a job or not): Something involving music that allows me to impact others in a positive way.

Go-to karaoke song: The Ballad of Mona Lisa - Panic! At The Disco

If you could have one superpower, what would you choose? Telepathy!

If you could visit a historical era, which would you choose? I’m honestly not great at history so I’m not sure.

If you could restart your life, knowing what you do now, would you? More music stuff.

Would you rather fight 100 chicken-sized horses or one horse-sized chicken? One horse-sized chicken.

If you were a trope in a teen high school movie, what would you have been? Band geek and Student Council President.

Do you believe in aliens/supernatural creatures? Not really.

What are some small things that make your day better? Watching the SKZ Fancy stage.

Fun fact about yourself that not everyone would know? I have a Hello Kitty keyboard that I use regularly and one time I brought into work and the IT guy laughed at me.

When did you post your first piece?

Probably three years ago in 2017?

Do you write fluff/angst/crack/general/smut, combo, etc? Why?

I write fluff, angst, and crack cause they’re fun. I don’t really have much experience (or more pleasant experiences) with sexual stuff so I’m not really comfortable writing about it.

Do you write OCs, X Readers, Ships...etc?

I write xreaders and occasionally ships.

Why did you decide to write for Tumblr?

I remember @inktae opened up SFWBangtan ages ago and I thought she was the coolest person ever so I wrote something up to fill the network criteria and just kept writing.

What inspires you to write?

Reading other people’s works and seeing stupid stuff in real life.

What genres/AUs do you enjoy writing the most?

Hanahaki AUs.

What do you hope your readers take away from your work?

Nothing much really. I just hope they enjoy it and that it stays in their mind for a while. A reblog with some screaming in the tags is always nice too.

What do you do when you hit a rough spot creatively?

Nap or sing karaoke at an obnoxiously loud volume.

What is your favorite work and why? Your most successful?

My favourite work is ‘things you said at 1 am’ from my things you said series. It’s really angsty but it’s short and well-written. It got me a lot of my first real feedback on this site and it holds a special place in my heart. My most successful work is ‘can I kiss you’ from my 100 ways to say I love you series. Admittedly, I didn’t spend a lot of time on that so it’s slightly discouraging to see 200 notes on this fic and maybe max 150 notes on my much longer fics.

Who is your favorite person to write about?

Mark Lee!

Do you think there’s a difference between writing fanfiction vs. completely original prose?

Fanfiction requires less character building in a sense? You have a person with real personality traits to base things off of. I’ve never been a good original prose writer anyways.

What do you think makes a good story?

Characterization and a good plot.

What is your writing process like?

Sometimes I outline my fic and then fill it in but most of the time I just write out the dialogue and then I add in descriptions and other things.

Would you ever repurpose a fic into a completely original story?

I don’t think I would.

What tropes do you love, and what tropes can’t you stand?

I love anything to lovers but mostly friends to lovers! Also, domestic AUs and proposal AUs. I can’t stand yandere aus. They creep me out. I’m sure there are other tropes I can’t stand but I can’t think of more off the top of my head.

How much would you say audience feedback/engagement means to you?

The whole world. I do a lot of stuff outside of Tumblr and writings isn’t really one of my passions. It’s something I do for fun. Seeing the lack of interaction between readers and content creators nowadays is really discouraging. A lot of people just like posts and move on and like, that’s cool. You know someone read it, but you don’t know what they thought of it or if they liked it. That part hurts a lot, especially when a lot of time goes into creating content and you get minimal interaction in return.

What has been one of the biggest factors of your success (of any size)?

I think joining networks and having good mutuals. Also, learning how to better utilize the Tumblr tagging algorithm between different fandoms haha.

Do you think fanfic writers get unfairly judged?

Definitely. Writing is writing no matter who you’re writing it about. Some people can’t seem to grasp that for some reason.

Do you think art can be a medium for change?

Of course! I originally wanted to go into music for university because I want to create art that provides comfort for others. If you look at the history of art, you can see different artists expressing themselves and the environment around them in different mediums.

Do you ever feel there are times when you’re writing for others, rather than yourself?

I definitely write for others rather than myself. I normally create graphics/gifs and songwrite for myself. Whatever I write to post on here is more to keep myself busy so I’m not particularly attached to it.

Do you ever feel like people have misunderstood you or your writing at times?

Not really. I don’t really write or post anything that could be misunderstood in that sense.

Do your offline friends/loved ones know you write for Tumblr?

Some of them do. They don’t really care. I get teased sometimes but for the most part we all read some fanfiction so it’s no big deal.

What is one thing you wish you could tell your followers?

Hello! I love all of you! Please interact with me more because I need constant attention and affection and also I’d love to get to know all of you better! Thank you for supporting me throughout all these years on this hellsite.

Do you have any advice for aspiring writers who might be too scared to put themselves out there?

Just go for it! Tumblr is basically a giant void anyways. There’s nothing to lose so just put yourself out there because it’s easier to take something down than to constantly think about that “what if I’d posted this?”.

Are there any times when you regret joining Tumblr?

Absolutely. At times it takes a toll on my mental health and I constantly feel like maybe I should be doing something else that will bring me more satisfaction. I have a lot of amazing mutuals though and they make everything much better haha. (Shoutout to all my mutuals and everyone in BTS Fic Hub and BTS Smut Hub)

Do you have any mutuals who have been particularly formative/supportive in your Tumblr journey?

I think I mentioned @inktae earlier. She’s the one who got me to start writing and putting myself out there which I’m eternally grateful for. @taekemeaway who was my first push into making gifs and colour palettes and even made me one of the admins for @yoonkooknetwork (Lex if you see this I love you!!). @tenkkum is one of my oldest mutuals haha. Our chaotic ‘02 line energy combined is a disaster but he’s been with me basically every step of the way. We even established a network together @starryktown (shameless plug but apply and also apply for @nctcreations LOL).

Pick a quote to end your interview with:

“I know your future will bloom into something much bigger and magnificent.” - Kim Namjoon, Dear Class of 2020 Commencement Speech

BONUS ROUND: K-POP CONFIDENTIAL

#@dreamystuffers #thesunnyshow #featured author #bts #nct #stray kids #episode 39

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shuaffeine-rkive · 6 years

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when I first started this writing blog 9 months ago, I wasn’t sure if it was a good idea to separate out from my main fangirling blog and I didn’t expect to even hit a hundred followers on this blog, never even dreamed of hitting 500. I really want to thank each and every 500 of you for giving me a chance, and for staying despite my shortcomings (╥﹏╥)♡ I’m only sorry that I can’t gift each of you a star because you shine brighter than those that decorate my cloudy night sky, but I can promise you that I’m striving to keep improving myself to one day be worthy of your following! that said, thank you so so so much for following me, and I hope that life will always be kind to you, and know that I love you, the stars love you, and one day things will finally make sense and the universe will reveal itself to be a wondrous place for us all (´｡• ᵕ •｡`) ♡

↠ @sha-writes // you are the sweetest, most precious, kindest and warmest bean on earth and I will literally fite you if you disagree!! (ง •̀_•́)ง there are days when I just go ‘wow, how did I end up knowing this whole amazing person?’ and I really look up to you not only because your writing is absolutely amazing, but also because your sincerity when interacting with others is truly admirable C: I really love our conversations and how they go from kpop to harry potter to marvel (ARE WE WORTHY YET) and I always end up giggling irl bc you. are. so. precious!!!! I’m truly glad to meet you and have the chance to get to know you ♡ stay warm aND DON’T FREEZE IN THE UK OK ILY (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ❤

↠ @boosoonhao // words can’t fully describe how much I look up to you. you’re my true inspiration and goal on all aspects of writing, and honestly you build worlds that are so engaging and dynamic that I wouldn’t mind living in them >//< although we met a while back in the sfwbangtan chatroom, it was only recently that we started to talk and I admit, at first I was a bit intimidated because I really look up to you? and I didn’t know how to properly talk without freaking out? shkjshjk I’m always so sorry that I’m awkward and can’t continue conversations for life’s sake but I really enjoy talking to you >///< I hope you’re doing well and taking the break you deserve, enjoying things while staying out of the heat and I hope things will get get better soon. ILY AJ ♡＼(￣▽￣)／♡

↠ @thedefinitionofbts // I don’t think I have enough words to really say how much I love reading your works, every single one of them >//< I’m always amazed by the level of detail and research that goes into creating the background for your stories and really creating this complex multiverse (I would say universe but like... osas changed my use of words). I’ve learned so many things from just reading your works, from neuroscience to physics, and believe me, it really did helped me remember things for my exam (♡°▽°♡) I’m always anticipating new works from you because they will surely not disappoint, and I hope you’re doing well these days!! ( ´ ▽ ` )♡

↠ @chillihansol // you’re pretty much like a little sister to me?like you’re so cute and lovable and absolutely amazing at phrasing your works in ways that will rip my heart out but I still love it? you’re another writer that I really look up to because you capture angst really beautifully and I truly hope we can continue to talk more in the future as well!! (´｡• ᵕ •｡`) ♡

↠ @pinkpjmin // I see you so often in my notifications but we’ve never really talked, and I just want to thank you for being here ♡ I hope that things are going well for you and remember to stay hydrated and get enough sleep!! ♡( ◡‿◡ )

↠ @hearttoshu // you. are. so. cute!!!!!! that is a whole understatement but truly describes you because you’re so precious, and I really love talking to you >//< I hope that we can get closer in the future!! (≧◡≦) ♡

↠ to everyone in the svt gc // are you seventeen? because you make my day shkshjk like legit, back-reading the chat after I wake up every morning is now a highlight of my day and is essential for me to properly wake up :] when I’m tired out I scroll through the old chats and laugh at how the conversation can go from “d w” to everything else under the sky and I’m so sorry that I’ve mostly been a ghost in the chat but know that I really love each and every one of you!!! you’re all amazing writers that I look up to and my constant motivation and goal to improve myself, and beyond that you’re all just really amazing people I’m glad to meet. I hope we can all get closer in the future!! (*´︶`*)╯♡

finally, to my mutuals (my bunny squad!! ♡) and people who I really respect and look up to in general, you are all my inspiration and you never cease to amaze me with just your existence >///< I’m sorry if we haven’t talked much (which is probably because of my awkward nature ;A;) but please know that I really do love all of you ehe◝(⁰▿⁰)◜♡

♡ @aigremoine ♡ @anon-luv ♡ @army-author ♡ @bingshua ♡ @bloatedboo ♡ @boosoonhao ♡ @ccarats ♡ @chillihansol ♡ @chocojaehyun ♡ @craby-bouquet ♡ @custardheart ♡ @fallingforcheol ♡ @forevershua ♡ @goldenscript ♡ @gukseoks ♡ @hearttoshu ♡ @jonghyunslisterine ♡ @justriqht ♡ @kingyu97 ♡ @kookiesandgreentae ♡ @letsrejoyce ♡ @lililihui ♡ @lowqualityseventeen ♡ @lxveille ♡ @middle-of-a-wonshua-sandwich ♡ @misterrightscenarios ♡ @nyeac-nyeac ♡ @peri-lycanjins ♡ @pinkpjmin ♡ @scoups-ofsuga ♡ @sha-writes ♡ @softhaos ♡ @swyllh ♡ @taekemeaway ♡ @thedefinitionofbts ♡ @tonicandjins ♡ @wonhoandonly ♡ @writeseoul ♡

#milestone #thank you so so so so so much #i really do appreciate each and every one of you #even if we haven't talked know that i really love your existence!!!#♡♡♡♡♡#i hope the mention works on this one but if not i'll be reblogging this a couple more times!

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jimlingss · 6 years

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Love So Shallow [1]

Chapter 1 - Chapter 2 - Chapter 3 (Finale)

Words: 11.4k

Genre: Fluff & Humour, Best Friend to Lover!Au, College!Au (sort of) Summary: There’s no doubt about it. You’ve always been thirsty. And *ahem, not just for water. Everyone and their mothers knows it and so does your best friend Taehyung. Though, rather than desperate, he’d like to say that you’re naturally bold. Sometimes, he wishes he could be that way too. Warnings: Themes of low self-esteem, hints of fat-shaming and very mean people. Swearing.

Cr.

The Ultimate Guide for the First Day of School:

Backpack

Pencil Case

Laptop

Pens and Pencils

A Notebook

Binoculars

That’s right. Binoculars are the absolute essential. If you forget everything else, you’ll still survive but without your trusty pair of binoculars - ten times zoom power, military and hunting purpose, night vision, made in Germany - you’ll be nothing.

“Oh man, he’s hot.” You press the lens to your eye sockets, licking your lips and salivating immediately. The guy you’re observing is at least six feet in height, a slight shadow around his mouth that exhibits how his testosterone levels are high enough to grow a beard, ab muscles defined through his tight shirt. “He’s smoking…ten-out-of-ten.”

As you’re snacking on your popcorn, hidden in the display bushes of your college grounds, your jaw drops.

The popcorn disgustingly rolls off your tongue into the dirt.

“Dammit. Please be a friend, please be a friend…” You watch as a pretty girl goes running up to the guy and as you’re muttering under your breath like it’s a prayer incantation, they lace their hands together. Okay.

Maybe they’re just overly affectionate friends...siblings, perhaps? Nope. Nope. They’re kissing.

You swing your head around to target another person. “Ooh, fresh meat.”

He’s a shorter kid, cute with bright eyes. You know that look all too well, the ‘I’m going to change the world and make the best out of my years here without procrastination!’. But you’re also aware that the moment they sit down in a lecture, the light will diminish. God forbid, midterms roll around. Finals will simply be the finishing attack.

But hey. If you’re around the kid, maybe you can save them.

“Impossible.” You swallow down your popcorn, almost falling into a coughing fit. Your spare fist pounds your chest as you watch the boy catch up to his friend. “You’re straight out of high school. There’s no way you’re dating…”

Dammit! They kissed each other! The world laughs at you. He has a boyfriend!

What the hell is up with public displays of affection today?! Were they trying to mock you?!

“Uh miss?” The campus security guard taps your shoulder and you crane your neck around. “You can’t be inside the bushes. They’re for display purposes.”

“Sorry.” You climb out, back cracking from crouching down for the past half-hour. The middle-aged man stares at you with a mix of horror, astonishment and slight repulsion. You don’t notice the other eyes that are on you as you brush off the leaves.

Whelp. You sling your binoculars around your neck. Might as well try some place else.

The tent is orange and brown amongst a field of different stands. There are beefy dudes in tank tops and mirror sunglasses, ripped muscles shredding through the fabric. To every chick that passes by, they slyly grin and let their eyes wander to their leaving asses. To any male that looks of any redeeming quality, they pass a flyer. In the huge bustle of crowds and of the hundreds of people promoting their own club or group, you’re standing in front of this one.

“If you think you’re a good fit, join Lambda Sigma Squared! We’re the best frat house on campus!” He hollers aloud, “We’ve got parties! We’ve got beer! We’ve got girls!”

You stride up to the man tall enough to make your neck tilt upwards to the sky. “Hi.”

The stranger looks down at you with a quirked eyebrow. “Hello?”

Your palm opens up. He looks at your hand. You nudge it forward. He doesn’t do anything. “Can I have a flyer, please?” You read his name tag, “Jungkook?”

He hums and slowly brings out the stack of paper in his arms. “Is this for you to give to someone else….?”

“Nope.” You wonder why there’s so much doubt in his voice. “It’s for me. I’d like to join!”

If there was one place ridden with testosterone and men, it was the resident frat house. You can already imagine waking up every single morning to a mansion full of glorious hunks. They’d worship you as their queen; a wake up call to cuties lying in your bed, nuzzling their hair into your neck and boys in the kitchen cooking steak, topless with only a thin apron to tease. It sounded like a Heaven ridden with sin….delicious sin. Your mouth waters.

Right as the paper is held between your fingertips, it’s snatched away. You look up to the college boy who has his brown hair slicked back with gel. “Uh, sorry. We don’t accept females.”

Your dreams are crushed.

“Well isn’t that unfair?” You laugh nervously, scrambling to find any arguments in order to win. There has to be some way. You rock back and forth on your feet, nibbling on your bottom lip. The so-called ‘Jungkook’ appears to be unfazed. “What about the people who don’t identify as one or the other? Isn’t it kind of discriminating to only strictly allow males? You should be all inclusive! I mean equality...right? I’ve heard of some fraternities that allow females...”

“Honey.” His fingers are squeezing the bridge of his nose and then he whips around to point at the banner. “We are a frat house. We have been for the past...I don’t know, fifty years? Our fraternity doesn’t allow females. If you want to join something, go to the female sorority. I’m sorry but I’m only handing out flyers. If there’s something you want to complain about, go contact the administration. I don’t make the rules.”

You part your lips, eyes watering up and a whimper leaves the back of your throat. “Please?”

“No.”

“Pretty, please?” You bat your lashes, “I’ll be good.”

“No.”

The morning hasn’t been going well for you. Okay. You’ll admit it but you’ve been shot down in your life numerous times before. You’re not going to give up so easily!

“If you’re fit and you love to run, join football!” An athletics major bellows with a smile and you march up. “Football- oh. Hello there. Are you lost? If you look for the people in blue, they can help you or give you a tour of the place.”

“I’m not a first-year.” You put your hands on your hips, attempting to appear tall and large. “Can I join football?”

If frat houses were out of the question then surely football would be a great second choice?

“Sorry. We’re a male team. No females.”

It’s not like it should be a surprise to you. You’ve already tried to join all these clubs and groups last year. But rejection after rejection makes your vigorous energy die down and you’re left in a moping puddle of your own sorrows. There’s only one thing that can cure you at a time like this...

You wander to the engineering faculty where the buildings are old and wearing down. The grounds are empty on orientation day when there aren’t any real lectures yet. Which means there aren’t any potential bachelors either. You continue to tread onwards anyways.

Sooner or later, after actively searching every corner, you come face to face with-

“Taehyung!”

As his expression blanches and he tries to make a run for it, you’ve already caught up. The honey brown haired boy sulks, slumping his shoulders. “How did you find me?”

You ignore him, gleaming irises pinned on the tall man beside him. “Who is this?! You’re handsome!” Taehyung’s friend with the blonde locks widens his eyes at your bluntness. You bat your eyelashes back and forth, standing on the tips of your toes. “Can I have your number?”

“No.” Taehyung answers for his friend. “He’s not free.”

“You’re not single? Aww…” Your pout returns and your best friend shakes his head with his infamous boxy grin.

“Namjoon’s too busy to be dating. He’s a new engineering friend by the way, met him by the vending machines.” Tae turns to the boy beside him who’s watching the two of you bicker back and forth in amusement. “Namjoon, this is Y/N. She’s a high school friend-”

You interrupt, “best friend!”

“Ah, debatable.”

“Is not!” You stamp your feet. “Kim Taehyung that is not debatable!”

“It is.” He argues back firmly and then juts his finger at the device slung around your neck. “Especially when you bring those binoculars with you. How thirsty can you even get?!”

You open your mouth to argue back but Taehyung turns to Namjoon. “You know what? I don’t know her after all.” The engineering major laughs it off, shaking your hand and smiling sheepishly. You marvel at the cuteness of his dimples and the messy ruffle of his hair.

“Are you sure you’re too busy to date?”

Namjoon scratches the back of his neck, “well…”

Taehyung shifts himself to stand in front of the dimpled boy, as if using his body as a shield. “Be gone dehydrated demon! Attempt to seduce elsewhere!” Your feet moves to kick him in the shin but Taehyung jumps back and he giggles. “Y/N!” He whines out your name childishly with a mock pout and you sob back at him. “You’re going to run off all my friends! Stopppp it!”

“You were going to run them off anyways.” You whine back to him, mimicking his pout and ugly expression. “Plus, you don’t need anyone else other than me. Let’s be honest here, I’m the bestest friend you could have.”

He pretends to cry into his sleeve. “What did I do to deserve this?”

“To deserve someone so beautiful and great and amazing?”

“Someone so shabby and shameless and horrible.” He corrects and then mischievously grins again. With his face hidden by the sleeve of his sweater, you only see the square shape of his mouth.

Before Namjoon can be left in the dust to observe the both of your antics and Taehyung completely forgets about his trip to the library to pick up his textbooks, a certain someone clears their throat behind you. The booming ‘ahem’ causes the pair of you to stop fake sobbing to turn around.

Taehyung’s eyes immediately light up. “Somi!” He leans over to his new friend. “That’s my other best friend, from high school as well-”

“What are you doing here, Miss Y/N?!” Her screeching voice causes you to visibly jump. You’re folding into yourself as if to disappear. “I turn around for one second and you’re gone! Are you harassing people still? Don’t you know Taehyung has better things to do than to deal with your sorry ass? You act like you’re drunk when you’re sober!”

“I can explain!” You sling your binoculars behind you but that doesn’t deter Somi from dropping her crossed arms to march over to you, ankle boots clanking on the cement. You have to admit she looks pretty great in her brown leather jacket and skinny jeans. “This isn’t what it looks like! Taehyung was the one who told me I should come over here!”

“I did not.”

You whip your head back. “Trader.”

Taehyung shrugs with a playful smile. Somi takes the collar of your shirt and begins to literally drag you away. Namjoon waves to you in slight bewilderment. “This is not fair!”

Your wail ricochets throughout the entire campus, causing the birds in the trees to fly into the sky, startled at your voice. “This is not fairrrrr!”

You didn’t have a lot in your life - never gifted in brains, beauty or strength. In elementary, you were called cling wrap since you attached to people and suffocated them even if they hated you. You’ve overheard teachers call you annoying behind your back, you’ve never made it to the top twenty list of smart kids in your class, never won at athletics either. But if there was one thing you had...it was blind will and determination.

“Girls! Line up!”

You listened to the frat boy’s advice, seeking out a sisterhood sorority and wow...things were not easy. They had taken one look at you and made a face of disgust. Everyone was ridiculously pretty here. They had long, clean legs and silky hair. They wore small dresses with high slits, thongs that you couldn’t even fit in, tiny bikinis that would only show off your rolls and how much you loved to eat. The women exuded confidence. All of them looked like they walked straight out of Forbes or Vogue magazine. You’d hit up any of these women in a heartbeat if given the opportunity.

In comparison, you are a pansy in the field of roses. But your enthusiasm won.

No matter what challenge, mission or the type of hazing they did, you never deterred. When the sorority sisters forced the newcomers to eat McDonald’s Big Macs and super sized chocolate bars, most whined about the potential weight gain and some threw up, a few even dropped out but you ate it all. You ate it with vigorous energy, secretly ecstatic since it’s free food. Sure, they mocked you as you stuffed your face and the word ‘fat’ was tossed around but whatever….if you became easily riled up by a few syllables from strangers, you’d be living a very difficult life.

It’s easier to live when you’re shameless.

The sisters forced you into the freezing showers in the middle of the night and you embraced the freshness while the others screamed. When they made you take out their garbage for them, you did it happily. You scrubbed the floors with a toothbrush, let them cut an inch of your hair off, let them throw food at you. They made you drink vodka and tequila but you had eaten a huge meal beforehand and secretly snuck in water between the shots. It’s the only reason why you didn’t become a huge drunken mess. On the coffee runs, you were the first to come back, having ran across campus with a huge brown stain on your shirt from bumping into someone. But you delivered it in record time and with a grin.

No matter what, the sisters had to acknowledge your eagerness.

“This is going to be one of the final missions!” The leader paces back and forth in front of the small group. The hundred candidates has dwindled down to ten people. “We’re going to be having dinner here in two nights. Bring each of your boyfriends. Fairly simple, right?”

The word ricochettes in the hollows of your brain. Boyfriend. Boyfriend. It ridicules you, laughing in your face. It echoes, reverberating in your ears. It plays over and over again. Boyfriend. Boyfriend. Boyfriend.

“What?”

“Is there a problem, number five?” Her eyes pin harshly onto you and you quickly shake your head. She smirks, continuing to strut around. “Here at Rho Alpha Beta, we are not whores who prostitute ourselves. We are committed, young women.” The leader spits her venomous words sharply and then giggles. “Bring your boyfriends, girls.”

NOOOOOO.

This is your worst nightmare. Of all the things they could’ve made you done….bring a boyfriend is literally impossible for you. You joined the sorority in order to find guys! Now what were you going to do?

“Difficult challenge, isn’t it?” You laugh awkwardly next to the gorgeous brunette beside you.

“Really?” She frowns. “I think this is a lot easier than when they made us stand for the entire night without letting us use the bathroom.”

You’re royally screwed.

“Are my eyes lying to me or is it my best friend that I’m suddenly seeing?” Taehyung blinks expressionlessly and then brushes past you. You whine out, stamping your feet and he finally stops walking down the hallway, turning around with a grin. “What?”

“Don’t ignore me!”

“I think it’s my head playing tricks on me.” He lays the back of his hand on his forehead and pretends to faint, backside dramatically hitting against the wall. “The Y/N that I used to know would never be such a hypocrite. She disappears for three weeks without a word. Then she comes back and demands not to be ignored when she’s been ignoring her dearest friend that would sacrifice his entire life for her.”

“Oh, quit it.” You throw your arm over his neck, locking him in a choke hold. Taehyung grips your arm and half-laughs, half-screams. The engineering students passing by rapidly shoot the two of you an odd look while they hasten their steps. “You suddenly want to be my best friend after you said you didn’t know me?!”

“Okay, okay. I do know you, okay?” He hits your arm and you begin to let him go. “I know that you had a bladder issue and pissed in your bed every night up until grade six!”

“Kim Taehyung.” You step forward as he takes a stride backwards, laughing his head off. A bunch of people are staring. “Shut up!”

“And that you still piss yourself when you have a nightmare!”

His scream pounds up against the ceilings for all to hear and you groan, kicking him in the knee and hearing him let out an ‘ow’. “I told you that once! How do you even remember?”

Tae has a rectangular shaped grin as he shrugs. “How could I forget?”

“Ugh! You are ridiculous. You know what?! Forget it! Pretend I wasn’t even here.”

“Y/N.” He complains when you begin to walk away and Taehyung holds you back. You scoff but yield to him nonetheless as the pair of you begin to walk out of the building together. “So what’s made you so busy that you can’t even spend time with your two dearest friends? You know Somi’s pissed, right? She told me not to pick up your calls or answer your texts.”

On the subject matter, you evade for now. “I’ve been busy….”

“With the sorority?” He takes a glimpse of your face and grimaces. “Why are you even joining? It’s not like you to be those…”

“Pretty girls? Are you saying I’m not good enough to join them?”

Taehyung sighs. “I was going to say shallow idiots.”

“That’s a stereotype. Some of them are really nice girls.”

“But they’ve been treating you okay?”

“Yeah I guess.” You clear your throat. “I only have a few things left to do before I can get officially accepted and do the pledge and all that. How’s classes been going for you?”

“It’s so painful for me to have to be such a skilled academic.” He laments with a smile. “Engineering takes up all of my time, so many math classes, so much thinking involved. My head is always full of numbers and complicated equations that you would never understand.”

Usually you’d scoff, maybe jab at him but you only answer with a- “nice”.

“So, what’s your real reason for looking for me?”

“Hey!” You snap back into it. “You’re my friend. Can’t I hang out with you without being suspected of other intentions?! Why does this feel like a witch hunt! How dare you accuse me of such thing?!”

“Y/N…” He gives you that look and you exhale in exasperation.

“Okay. Hear me out, alright?” You prepare yourself and the both of you stop under a shade of a tree. “The sisterhood sorority is doing this thing in two nights and it’s one of the last things I need to do before getting accepted. It’s really, really important to me and you’re my best friend. You wouldn’t want to disappoint me, right?”

He looks at you in growing suspicion, “What is it?”

“They want me to bring my boyfriend to the dinner.”

Taehyung laughs. He laughs and he laughs. Your limbs fall to your side and you stare at him unimpressed as he grabs a hold of his stomach. Tears fill Taehyung’s eyes and he still continues to laugh like he’s watched the best comedy of his life. “Tha-that’s impossible!” He tries to catch his breath, hyperventilating. “You’ve never had a boyfriend in your entire life!”

Your best friend spits out the last word before he’s thrown back into absolute hysterics. He howls, roars and snorts. At some point he says ‘stop it’ since his stomach is hurting so bad. But you’re doing nothing, staring at him with a sigh leaving your mouth.

“Yeah. I know.”

“Oh god.” He wipes his eyes and stands up straight, the last laughs leaving his throat. “What are you going to do?”

You stare at him. He stares at you. Your sparkling irises gazes into his darkening ones.

“No.”

“Please?”

“No.”

“Why not?”

Taehyung cries out, “I just can’t!”

“Taehyungggg.” You moan out the last syllable, drawing it for an extended time while pouting. His lips have fallen to the side, no longer laughing or joking around with you. You have a feeling that he won’t budge on this matter.

“Noooo…” He pulls out the last syllable like you, mimicking your childishness.

“Whyyy?”

“Because I don’t even want to be a fake boyfriend to you.” He thinks about it and then scrunches up his face, flailing his hands like it’s infested with germs. “The thought is so ewwwukkkkkk. Yuck! That’s like being a fake boyfriend to my sister!”

“You don’t even have a sister.” You have to admit the thought of being with Taehyung more than platonically is disgusting. It’s pretty gross but you’re in a desperate situation. “C’mon Taetae, it’s only for one night, for a few hours.”

He shakes his head. “Ask someone else, bro.”

“You know I have no one else.”

“No! Just...no.” He doesn’t look at you to make sure you won’t guilt trip him into it. “I’ve put up with enough of your antics over the years, okay? I’ve done a lot. Find someone else, Y/N.”

Before you can penetrate through the barriers, Taehyung takes off running in the opposite direction. You scream after him, chasing him across the courtyard before his long legs out run you. “Taehyung-! You bast….ard! I hate you!”

You show up like a sad puppy on her doorstep.

She takes one look at you and slams the door. But luckily you catch it, intruding into her apartment. “Somi. I-”

“Save it.” The girl in short blonde hair and pouty pink lips crosses her arms. “I already heard it all from Taehyung.”

You gasp, tearing off your shoes to march into the living room. “I knew it! I knew it! So you two do have a group chat without me!”

“I already know what you’re going to ask me.” Somi cuts to the chase with a pointed look. “No.”

Your body slumps down to the floor and you cry to the wooden floorboards. “Why?”

“You know I’m trying to go out with Suran.” She sits down on the floor with you, trying to appease you like you’re a toddler throwing a temper tantrum. “If she catches wind that I’m going out with you...fake or not...it won’t look good. Things are...delicate….”

You sniffle, “You fucked up, didn’t you?”

Somi smiles slightly. “I may or may not have accidentally ran into my psychotic ex on our last date.”

“Oh my god. The one that keyed your car?”

“Yep.” Somi shudders and shakes her head. “I’m sorry, pumpkin. Have you tried to ask someone else out? I mean...there’s plenty of people on campus and I’m sure there’s someone nice who would be willing to help y-”

“There’s no one!”

“Why does the sorority even matter?” Her eye twitches and the anger surges when she realizes everything that’s coming out of her mouth is right. “I’ve heard about the things they made you do and it sounds horrific. The people in there don’t give any shits about you! They’re bitches with shallow exteriors. They talk trash girls that are different from them and then turn around to talk about each other. It’s a backstabbing-bitch battlefield! Why are you doing this to yourself? You don’t need them or their validation.”

“I just...want to, okay?”

It’s true that they might treat you badly. Okay. Not might. They do.

You’ve been feeling like a modern day servant or slave. You’ve also been designated as the permanent one to go on their coffee runs. But you’re used to being treated badly. It doesn’t hurt that much. Plus, you’re too determined to give up.

Taehyung lugs his bag full of textbooks back to his dormitory, dragging his feet with him. He had gone for a three hour study session in the library, tackled a handful of assignments and readings, punching in page-long equations into his calculator. It’s only been less than a month into the school year. He has no idea how he’ll survive. All he wishes is to get a hot steaming shower and collapse on his bed for the next ten hours.

But as he opens the door, he screeches. “What the hell are you doing here?!”

You’re scrolling through his laptop, perched on top of his ruffled sheets. Your eyes don’t stray away from the screen and your mouth casually murmurs out, “came through the window.”

Taehyung quickly shuts the door before someone can catch a girl in his room. It would be even worse if the RA saw. He locks it for good measure and then skedaddles over to close the window that’s letting in a chilling breeze. “Y/N….”

“I’m on this site…” You squint your eyes and he flickers on his lamp, allowing the glow to provide more luminescence. “It’s called Rent-A-Boyfriend but it’s so...expensive.” You sob lightly. As a poor college student that’s completely broke, there’s no way you can afford a luxury like this.

Never mind eating instant ramen for the rest of your life, you would have to rely on photosynthesis and gaining nutrients from the polluted air.

Taehyung scoffs and he begins to unpack his belongings, throwing his things on his desk and not paying attention to you. “If I went to the corner street, do you think anyone would want me?”

“They’d probably throw you into their truck and drive to some abandoned warehouse. Then, they’d sell you off to some foreign country.” He mumbles, agonizing about his future study sessions as he skims his notes. Perhaps he’ll consult Namjoon who seems to be doing well.

“If I hold up a sign downtown, do you think anyone would help me?” You exhale, giving up on the site and escort pages you were looking at. You close the laptop, rolling on your stomach to look at your friend.

“No. The police might show up since you’d be loitering.”

You drop your face into his pillow, the onslaught of his cologne and clean shampoo filling your senses. “What do I do?!” Your voice is muffled but your cry is all too clear.

Taehyung finally twists around to look at you. He sighs for a long time. Ten agonizing seconds pass. “Fine.”

“What?!” You shoot right up and your eyes glimmer. “Really?!”

“You better be grateful that I’m such a good best friend and that I won’t dump your sorry ass even though Somi says I should.” Taehyung’s certain that he’ll regret this decision. But for now, you’re looking up at him like he’s lifted the sun back up and it makes him feel a bit better. “I’ll do it with the cost of five meals.”

“Three.”

“Six.”

Your jaw drops, “Hey! You raised it!”

“Keep talking and I’ll make it ten.” Taehyung grins and stretches out his aching muscles. He plops down beside your body and you pretend to zip up your lips.

Taehyung threatens to go eat the most expensive steak at the most expensive restaurant. It’s only after you whine to him that he tells you to pay for his convenience store food. Instead of showering and hitting the sack like he had intended to do, he’s out at midnight, sitting outside on a dingy bench with steaming hot instant noodles, eating with you.

It’s not such a horrible alternative.

The sorority is completely white with pillars on either side, a dim glow appearing from inside. At the brown double doors, it looks like a humongous palace and you gulp nervously. Your fingers pull on the modest blue dress you have and you look over at Taehyung.

He’s pulled out his fancy clothes, Gucci-whatever and you still don’t know he could afford it with his old part-time job of working at the diner. His long sleeved shirt is tucked into his pants, paired with a belt. You can admit when Taehyung cleans up and he doesn’t look like a stressed out college student half dying and burning in hell, he looks pretty damn good.

“Do whatever you need to do to prepare yourself.”

“Okay. I’m not standing next to Y/N.” He shuts his eyes and braces himself, murmuring under his breath. “This is Rachel Mcadams. I’m standing next to Rachel Mcadams. I’m going on a date with Rachel Mcadams. Okay….okay….” There’s an extended moment of silence. “Alright!”

You jump in a startled response when he suddenly grabs your hand and holds it.

Taehyung smiles and knocks on the door once. It swings open and one of the girls snarl at your appearance. “Oh. It’s number five. Did you bring your boyfriend?” The girl you recognize as Sandra swings her head over and then she does a double take. Her mouth drops and she openly ogles your best friend, scanning him up and down. “I- uh..this-”

“Nice to meet you, I’m Kim Taehyung.” He tips his head to the side, wearing a smirk and using his infamous charms to shake her hand. The girl gasps and wheezes. You hold back from rolling your eyes. “You’re a very beautiful lady. Thank you for opening the door for us.”

She makes a strangled noise. “Come in.”

As you enter, he leans over and angrily whispers to you. “Do they really call you by a number?” You hum, nudging him to be quiet as you turn the corner into the massive dining room.

“N-number five is here. I-I mean...”

“Y/N.” You correct when she turns around and stares at Taehyung some more.

“Y/N’s here.” She mutters and snaps out of it, shaking her head to sit down at the table. It’s then that it dawns on you that you were the last one to show up, about twenty two people seated around in total, six of them being sorority sisters There aren’t any more chairs and it occurs to you that two of the ten candidates never showed up.

Everyone is staring at Taehyung. “And..who is this?”

“Hello, my name is Kim Taehyung. It’s nice to meet all you pretty women.” He pulls out the chair for you and gestures you into it. You sit down and the leader nods her head slowly, perhaps in suspicion that you managed to reel in such a beautiful boy that looks like he was carved from angel tears.

“We were just beginning to eat. But now that everyone’s here, feel free to dig in.”

The hired waiters put down the plates and you begin to eat in small, delicate bites. Everyone around the table takes turns to introduce themselves, their majors and their relationship details. Some males appear highly uncomfortable and a few are basking in the attention, even going as far as to let their eyes wander to the pushed up breasts of the sorority sisters.

The leader smirks, going as far as to lean over the table more. The girlfriend of the guy has obviously realized what’s happening but she’s unable to say anything, trapped in utter humiliation.

Taehyung manages to keep his wits and realizes what the girls are trying to do. When you met the kid years ago, he was an awkward and introverted fellow. You wonder how he made such a change and how he could even enchant babies at the supermarket with one killer look.

“I met Y/N in high school and I don’t know but we’ve always had a connection.” He throws his arm over you and pulls you close to him. “Isn’t that right?”

You laugh lightly. “I was the one who approached him and told him to be my friend.” What you’re saying is the most truthful thing you’ve done all evening and night. “He attracted so many people and I thought it would be easier to make friends if I was around him.”

“Who knew we’d become the best of friends and gradually fall in love…”

Taehyung’s teeth are gritted and your own fists are clenched in your lap. You don’t have telepathic abilities but one glimpse of him is all it takes for you to know that he’s doing the exact same thing you are - cringing and screaming in your heads. “She helped me break out of my shell and loved me even when I had long limbs and so much acne.”

“You, having acne?” Krystal is a gorgeous sister with long, black hair and milky skin. Her aura has been that of an ice queen, cold and calculating, intimidating. She’s dazzling and reminds you of a porcelain doll.

Krystal bats Taehyung playfully on his shoulder and her sudden smile makes you blink twice. “I can’t imagine. But the two of you are so cute. High school sweethearts are always adorable.”

“Aren’t we?”

Taehyung gazes into your eyes, a millimeter away. “We are.” The guy has the audacity to nuzzle into you, rubbing his nose against yours. You hold in your vomit. Taehyung’s smile is tense.

Your best friend pulls away and pecks your forehead in another form of pda. You push him away, a bit harshly and he nearly falls out of his chair. “Oh, stop it, you.”

The entire table had to be witness to your cringey actions but at least they seem to believe you’re in a legitimate relationship now. The leader decides to move on, interrogating other couples.

“Do you both go on a lot of dates to fast food places?” The sorority head asks two of them and the girl fidgets in discomfort. Her boyfriend faintly grazes his rounded stomach and grimaces.

“You should try going on an exercise date. Running is really healthy.” The leader tips her head and smiles. “You two are actually the perfect pair. You should try losing weight together.”

You're becoming more and more irritated by the second but the chance to speak up is stolen by your best friend. “Isn't that a bit rude?” Taehyung swoops in, saving the couple and surprising you. The sisters seem even more shocked, appalled that he uttered a word and intervened. “I'm sorry but it's a bit difficult for me to sit here and watch.”

“I-”

“Such a pretty person shouldn't say such ugly words.” He leans his chin in his propped hand, attention solely on the flushing girl. “You don't want to be a bad girl now, do you? Only good girls get rewarded...in life, that is.”

The leader clears her throats with a quiet ‘alright’, moving on and the couple smile at him in thankfulness. You admire your friend for being able to muster the courage that you lack.

As you listen and munch on your salad, you notice some movement underneath the table. Taehyung is completely stiff, blushing from his chin to the top of his hairline. It’s a stark contrast from before and his cool facade has shattered. He discreetly elbows you as if to grab your attention but you can already see it.

Krystal is playing footsies underneath the table with Taehyung, caressing her bare leg against his. Her hand is also on his thigh, moving up and up. You instantly dart your pupils elsewhere.

“Uh-”

Before anything can be said, the leader stands up from the table and she smiles. “Ladies, could we have a brief meeting in the other room? Everyone is required to come. Men, feel free to continue.”

Krystal detaches from him and Taehyung releases a sigh of relief, eyeing you closely as you firmly nod, leaving the room. The sorority sisters surround the eight of you and they strangely appear friendly.

“Good job.” The redhead pats one of the candidates on the shoulder. “You all did a fantastic job.”

Your companions relieve themselves, including you. But then the brunette steps forward with the click of her heel. “There's one last obstacle before all of you can officially be part of the group.”

The leader smirks, pacing in front of the scared little lambs. “In this sorority, we are all sisters. Sisters meaning we share everything. That's how we build an everlasting bond. But boys always get in the way. They break up friendships and cause all sorts of drama. Hence, to prove the rule of sisters before any misters, you will watch us sleep with each of your boyfriends.”

The redhead giggles, “sharing is caring.”

Krystal and a few of the sorority sisters looked as shocked as the candidates. A girl beside you murmurs that she might be sick. They shiver and look to the floor, contemplating their morals while some look like they’re up for the challenge. You feel a muscle in your cheek jerk.

“I’m sorry.” You cough out. “I don’t think I can do this.”

The leader quirks her brow at you and the brunette seems to be disappointed she can’t lay a hand on your supposed ‘boyfriend’. “Excuse me?”

“I don’t think this sorority is right for me.”

You can live shamelessly and boldly to do what you want. You can self-sacrifice and allow yourself to be humiliated. But you will never let Taehyung be harmed in such a way.

“D-do you know what this means?!” The leader stammers out, appalled at your rejection.

“Yes.” Everything you worked so hard for will go to waste. “I’m sorry.”

You bow your head as you move past them out of the room. They can scream, throw objects at you, haze you but you have to let Taehyung walk out of this place with his dignity. You can only hope the other candidates will have enough respect for themselves and their significant others as well.

“What’s wrong?” Your dear best friend blinks up at you in bewilderment. The other eight males look at you and you shake your head. “Is there something wrong?”

“No, not really.” You grab onto his wrist pulling him up. Taehyung drops his scone and wipes his fingers on the napkin. “Let’s go home.”

“O-okay…”

The both of you lead yourselves outside, without turning back once but he stops you on their lawn. Taehyung laughs nervously at your serious expression. “No, seriously...what happened? Why did we leave? I thought this was important to you…”

You shrug. “I just came to my senses. They never treated me right and it feels wrong to be in there.”

“That’s it?” He looks at you in suspicion, studying your face. “There’s nothing more?”

“Nope.”

“Okay. Well, I’m glad.” He begins to walk with you, hands buried within his pockets. Tae grins, “that place is deranged. They’re really rude and it’s insane how long you stayed there for...”

“Yeah. They are.” There’s a long silence where the luminesces of the street lamps cascades down their glow. You bask in the peacefulness of the street. “Thanks.”

His eyebrow lifts. “What for?”

“I don’t know. For coming with me….putting up with them...being my friend.”

You know it’s the right thing to do. There was no doubt that you should leave such a toxic place behind but you can’t help feeling empty. Everything you’ve been working so hard towards, your goal and your backbreaking labour for the past three weeks has disappeared in front of your very eyes. You realize how difficult it is to let go of something that seems so important in the moment. But you know you’ll thank yourself later for it.

Despite feeling empty, you could be alone right now to dwell in your sorrows but you’re not. Taehyung’s still here with you.

“Okay. Now there must be something wrong with you.”

You match Taehyung’s humongous grin, laughing and bumping into him purposely. “Why?! I can’t thank you without being suspected of something?! Wow, what a friend!”

“Is there someone recording?” He tries to search for a hidden camera around. “Is this going to be a prank put on youtube? I don’t want to go viral. Someone’s hiding in these bushes, aren’t they?!” He screams at the plant, shooting out his hands in a martial arts position. “Ahh!”

You laugh, the misery slowly but surely evaporating from your heavy chest. “No one’s hiding in the bush, idiot. Maybe your brain. Did you forget to bring it with you again?!”

“Rude.” He snaps playfully, “you just thanked me for being your friend and now you’re insulting me. What kind of contradictions are you throwing out there, girl?”

You giggle but before you can retort and banter along with him, there are huffs and puffs behind you. When you turn, you find Krystal having dashed four blocks to catch up. The beautiful girl with long hair is bending over with her hands on her knees, catching her breath. “H..ey…”

There’s a look of exchange between you and Taehyung. He decides to go on ahead to allow some privacy and you stride up to the sorority female. “Are you okay?”

“I-...” She breathes in and sputters, pounding her chest. “I wanted to apologize. I didn’t know that they were going to do that. It went too far...I’m sorry. For everything actually...the girls, they can be really nice but they-”

“It’s okay.”

You’re fully aware that Krystal is a decent girl. She was never cruel to you like the other members. You also knew that she was intelligent and a fashion design major, ridiculously gorgeous and better than you can ever be. “I saw what you were doing to Taehyung.”

“I-” Her face transforms into a shade of scarlet. “I’m sorry. It was inappropriate of me.” She rushes to explain, “he’s your boyfriend and I-”

“Actually, he’s not. I don’t have a boyfriend.” You admit to the girl. “He’s just a friend who was helping me out.”

You shouldn’t stand in the way of Taehyung’s relationships. The best thing you can do is be a good friend, a good wingwoman and not cockblock him like you’ve done a handful of times before. He’s your dear friend that you want to treat well.

“Tae’s a really good guy so if you’re interested and serious about him, you should totally go for it.”

Krystal registers your approval and she nods with a bright smile. “Okay. Thanks, Y/N.”

“No problem.”

“You’re a really good person.” Krystal tucks a strand of her midnight hair behind her ear, lips puckered in a rosy shade. She looks like a painting. “I’m sure you’ll be able to find someone.”

Your head tilts to the starless sky. “Hopefully.”

The world is punishing you.

“Fifth ramen of the day! Let’s go!” You fist pump the air in an attempt to make yourself feel better as you stir up the cup noodle on your dingy cardboard box-makeshift-table, sitting on the stool you bought at the dollar store. “I’m not sick of it at all!”

You might be going crazy.

After you left the sorority, you tried to enter the dormitory but you were late to the application process and all their rooms were full. You talked to Somi about it and you couch surfed for a week at her place but you didn’t want to intrude on her and her evil roommate - who you swear has it out for you. The evil roommate threw out your food in the fridge and only said ‘oops’ when you asked her about it and your clothes were on the floor all the time for no reason.

There was no other choice but to move out on your own to some poor apartment that was as small as a closet with walls that were peeling, cabinets that came right off if you tried to open them and stained, coarse carpet that you don’t even want to know the story behind. You could’ve tried to move back with your dad but that’s a four hour transportation process, meaning eight hours a day and you would get endless questions from him. You’d be better off sleeping at the train station on a bench.

The apartment isn’t that bad…..it’s pretty close to your school at least...

“Are you a law student?” Someone at the buffet table looks at you.

“O-of course I am!” You laugh nervously. “I-I’m in your Criminal Law 101 class..your name is…”

“Seokjin.” He frowns and then smiles, piling food onto his plate like you are. “Strange. I’m sorry. I just thought I hadn’t seen you around before. What’s your name?”

“Somi.”

You hurry back to your table, sitting at the very back to stuff your face and grumbling stomach. For the past two weeks since you’ve moved into the place, you’ve been eating so meagerly that you discovered another solution - the holy grail that is conventions.

There were a ton of networking events for all sorts of majors and graduate students. The trick was to slip in, pretend you belong there and act casually. You’d listen in on the presenters trying to inspire future workers and then, you could completely raid the tables, stuff your face to your heart’s content. They often fed you better than your own mother did.

Sometimes, you’d get dragged out.

But six out of ten times, no one really noticed anything.

“You’ve been doing what now?!” Somi groans and facepalms when you reveal what you’ve been up to. “Oh, Y/N.”

Instead of being upset and telling you off, your best friend sympathizes with you as she looks around the tiny place. She’s sitting on the second stool, knees gathered together. At the sound of scattering in the corner, you ease her by telling her it’s not a cockroach.

Occasionally it’s better to lie than to tell the truth.

“You should’ve moved in with me when I asked you to. Now I can’t kick out my nutty roommate. Her lease is all the way to next year and my own is the same.” Somi exhales, “as much as I’d like to be poor together with you, I can’t. There is some old furniture we have though..if you want.”

Your eyes light up and you nod enthusiastically.

Well...your own life might be falling by the seams but other people seemed to be having a better time than you are, namely Taehyung. You’ve seen him around with Krystal lately and you tried not to intrude, only texting your friend to catch up with him. The sorority girl’s already making her move and you applaud her for it.

“You’re really so cute, do you know that Tae?” Her hands are on the boy’s thighs, stroking up and down at an excruciating pace. “You’re handsome too and so...thick.”

Taehyung gulps, scanning the library premise but when he’s in the corner and certain things are happening underneath the table, no one seems to notice at all. The only person that calls him ‘Tae’ is you or Somi - you’re the one who made up the nickname for him anyways. It sounds weird to have someone else call him that.

“D-don’t you have a boyfriend?” He sweats from his hairline, cheeks flaming up to a thousand degrees.

“No. I broke up with him awhile ago.” She shifts closer, bare thighs brushing against his and uncaring that her skirt is pooling higher and higher. Her hot breath whispers against the shell of his ear. “Things weren’t working out since he wasn’t able to satisfy me. I’m lonely at night, Tae. Do you think you can help me?”

Taehyung swallows hard and his eyes dart, thankful to see you.

He shoves Krystal off and hastily says ‘gotta go’. He abandons his belongings to chase your shadow in the maze of bookshelves and cases. “Y/N!”

“Oh dear god!” Your heart stopped beating, startled from him. The librarian immediately hushes you two sharply and a few studying students glare from their books. “What do you want?”

“What is up with that girl, Krystal.” He leans on the shelves, whispering hastily under his breath. “That girl’s coming onto me like strong….she's got game. I-I am just so confused right now. Like is this a dream?!”

You smile at your friend, taking the novel off the top shelf. “She's a nice girl. You should try to get it on with her or something. Wouldn't want the chance to fly away.”

He nods and hums in a delayed response. “Thanks Y/N. You hooked me up with her, right?”

You laugh as he suddenly throws his arms around you. He makes you pet his hair like he's some kind of dog. “At least one of us is getting some…”

Your friend is popular by nature. It’s always been that way. You can remember the awkward years but how he still managed to draw a crowd merely by being himself. In retrospect, no matter what you do, not many people stick around. It isn’t necessarily because you’re a bad person but you tend to make others feel uncomfortable with your natural boldness.

“I can’t believe you got invited into a frat party and I didn’t.” You mutter underneath your breath bitterly and Somi laughs.

“He is technically part of the house…”

From Krystal’s influence, Taehyung had entered the Lambda Sigma Squared fraternity and it didn’t take a full week before they accepted him. He didn’t even need to go through any hazing rituals or grueling challenges. You can’t help but feel a bit jealous.

But for now, the music is thumping the walls and ceiling, strobe lights flashing colourful hues in the dark crowd of sweaty bodies. You can’t feel a single thing aside from euphoria with the liquid courage burning through your veins. The red solo cup is filled with a concoction that you can’t begin to describe. It’s some part apple juice but most part vodka, tequila, whiskey and rum. It tastes atrocious but you feel great.

“Oh my god.” The brightness of Somi’s phone makes you and Taehyung wince. “Suran’s here. She’s at the front door.” Your friend is jumping for joy and you grin.

Tae shoots out his arm through the sea of people, “go forth young one and be with your truest love.”

“Will you guys be okay here?” She’s shaking and jittery, the type of excited drunk that for once overrides her calm rationale.

“What? Ditch us for your girlfriend? Psh, completely fine.” You make a waving motion and her smile dies down. “I’m joking! Gosh, why do you take everything so seriously?!” You push her through and she grins again, yelling a ‘see you later’ over the booming music.

There’s a long silence between you and Taehyung as you sway to the music and Tae leans against the wall. He takes a good look at you. “Are you alright? What’s up?”

Of course of all the people, he would know that there’s something wrong.

You take a long drink, tipping your head back and downing the entire cup until it’s empty. With a recoil at the bitter taste, you narrow your eyes. “If Somi can get a girlfriend, if you can find someone and all these people can get with other people…” You bite away the pain with a hard blink, “why can’t I have someone?”

“Y/N….”

The people who knew you would assume that you’re a psychotic drunk that jumps, climbs onto things, humps the floor and flirts with others. In reality, you’re the emotional type that tends to start crying for no reason. You know it’s happening but you can’t really help it.

Your emotion of sadness is amplified ten fold and a puppy walking past is enough for you to burst into tears, thinking about all the unloved pets in the world.

“I deserve love too!” You sob out and Taehyung sighs, begrudgingly patting your shoulder.

“Listen-”

In the mass of people grinding on each other, spilling alcohol on the floor, a certain girl in a short black dress revealing too much thigh and cleavage comes ripping through the horde. “Taehyung!”

“K-Krystal!” Your nervous friend smiles charmingly and she monopolizes him within an instant. “I didn’t know you would be here.”

“Same here. It must be fate that we ran into each other.” Her red stained lips are puckered and perfect, curls in her hair rest at her shoulders. “You look good, Tae.” Krystal runs her hand over his chest and she nibbles on her bottom lip. He staggers his breathing.

The woman emits an air of absolute sexiness and confidence. You feel envious but it’s overridden by the thought that your best friend is going to get lucky tonight. As her eyes flicker to yours, you know it’s your cue to leave.

“Y/N...I didn’t know you were here either.”

“Not for long. I’m a person on a mission.” You will find someone. You won’t be alone. And you’ll do whatever it takes. “Catch you later, Taehyung..”

As you dive into the crowd, he lets his eyes linger and follow until you’ve all but disappeared in the ocean of people. Taehyung simply laughs and shakes his head to himself.

The sunshine sears into his bedroom, causing him to groan with a thumping headache. The girl beside him whimpers and returns back to sleep. Taehyung staggers to the bathroom to find hickies marked all over his neck. His mind travels back in time and he remembers the alcohol and the bedroom, sweaty sheets and the feeling of skin on skin...also very loud noises, the unpleasant kind like banshees are shrieking.

The memory causes him to shiver.

As he goes down the stairs to find some aspirin that’s in a kitchen drawer, he catches a conversation in the living room. “Did you fuck her?”

“God no. I send her home without even making out or getting a blowjob.”

The voice he recognizes as Jungkook piques his interest. He hasn’t had many opportunities to talk to him before but he seemed like the typical guy and a well respected brother of the frat.

“Aw, why not man? She was so fucking desperate for that dick.” Hoseok laughs, “what was her name?”

“I don’t fucking know. Why would I know?” It’s not Taehyung’s intention to eavesdrop but it’s more of his ears accidentally being active. They’re only a wall away but he pays no mind as he gets a glass of water and takes the pill to ease the nausea. “It was...uh...Y/N, right. Fuck.”

Taehyung sputters.

“Why didn’t you just bang her? It’s not like you to refuse anyone.”

Jungkook exhales in irritation, “I would have but she’s just so fucking annoying.”

Hoseok giggles, “oh shit.”

“If only I somehow could’ve covered her face up and gag her so she’d shut up.”

The two frat boys are lying on the couch, catching up on some video games together. They partied all night and got woken up by their respective sleeping partners, cute girls that went dashing in yesterday’s dresses like a hot mess. The both of them don’t remember their names.

“You’re such an asshat, you know that?”

One second they’re joking around with each other, the next…

Taehyung’s marched into the other room and his clenched knuckles is meeting the cheek of Jeon Jungkook in a punch that nearly shatters bone.

It’s really odd. Taehyung had left his dormitory and went to the frat house and then left that place all in the course of two weeks. He never really tells you why and you’re completely bewildered when it seemed like he was having fun and fitting in nicely with his ‘brothers’.

Well, it’s ex-brothers now.

He doesn’t say anything about it and there aren’t any rumours spreading around at his sudden leave. You suspect that there’s been a cover-up, maybe an embarrassing situation had transpired. Krystal was the one who asked you for the reason when you were going to ask her. Somi was as confused as you are. Taehyung simply told you that it wasn’t a right fit, like how you didn’t match with the sorority you tried to join.

But everything ended up fine anyways.

“We can be poor together!” You celebrate in your tiny apartment, staring at the dirty couch you had bought from a guy living on the streets. He took fifty bucks for it and your best friend told you that you totally got scammed. “This is destiny, dude! Who knew that two separate bedrooms would come in handy? And here I thought I got duped when the realtor showed this place to me.”

“I wonder if I betrayed my nation in my past life.” Taehyung mutters dramatically as he attempts to hot glue the wallpaper back onto the wall. “What did I do to deserve this?”

You ignore his sobs, boiling some expired pasta on the weak gas stove - you’re pretty sure the extra salt you added will kill any germs or bacteria that could get you sick….probably.

It was a lot less lonely now that you have Taehyung around. You don’t feel like you’re suffering alone and with the extra money he’s chipping in, you don’t have to sneak into conferences or networking events to eat that often anymore.

“Maybe this opportunity will make you realize that you’ve been in love with me this entire time.”

Taehyung looks down from where he’s standing on the stool. You’re holding the slotted spoon in your hand, blinking up at him innocently.

“I’m moving out.”

“I’m joking!” You have to grab onto his ankle when he tries to get to the doorway. Taehyung drags your entire body while he lugs his anchored leg. “Please don’t go!”

Life with Taehyung is great.

“Did you just fucking fart?”

He chucks a grimy cushion at you and you evade the dust cloud. This evening, after an intense match of rock-paper-scissors, Taehyung has won couch privileges which means you get to sit on the floor to finish school work. But really, the floor isn’t as bad as the bug infested sofa.

“GOD! What did you even eat, lady?!” Taehyung pinches his nose.

You laugh as he shouts that there’s been a nuclear bomb attack. “I had bean burritos for lunch.”

What were you saying? Oh yeah… Life with Taehyung isn’t so bad-

“What are you doing?!” He shrieks and shuts his eyes, clawing at his face while simultaneously melting onto the floor. You scoff at him, kicking the side of his ribs before stepping over his body.

“I forgot to bring my clothes in the bathroom and I was doing laundry...so...no towels either. Nude life!” Your words shoot past the man who’s still groaning on the dirty floorboards. It’s as if he’s going through a metamorphosis or in the middle of an exorcist, screaming and flailing his limbs.

You question how he has so much energy at midnight and how he never fails to act childishly. But maybe that’s why the two of you are such close friends. “Oh c’mon. Don’t be embarrassed, Taehyung! You’ve seen it all before.”

Your naked body collapses on the sofa and he gets up off the floor. “Doesn’t mean I want to see it again.”

“Hey.” You fill your mouth with chips, stuffing your cheek. “My body is goddess-like. The whole world’s just missing out.”

“What? On those bee stings of yours?”

You gasp, “do not call my boobs bee stings!”

“Sorry.” Taehyung hurls your jacket on top of your head for you to wear temporarily, so you won’t get cold and complain about it. “I meant mosquito bites.”

“Rude.”

You’re beginning to question if life with Taehyung is that great or not.

It is fun. And you’re not so poor anymore which is a massive plus. Your best friend proves to be your best friend for a reason. Taehyung’s is a companion you adore to be with, to tease and to chat to. You almost don’t feel too bad about being single anymore. Almost.

“Aren’t you quiet today?” He frowns and spins around, deciding to finish his paper later or maybe tomorrow...or whenever the deadline is. “Y/N? Earth to Y/N…”

“Hm?” You lift your head from your phone monitor, met with Taehyung in his heart patterned pajamas. “What?”

“What are-...is that tinder?!” The honey brown haired boy gapes at you with an open mouth.

You continue to swipe left without looking. “Don’t judge me. You have hot Krystal taking you out on dates and leaving me here every other night.”

He collapses next to you, watching the netflix show on your laptop propped up on a chair. “Are you not even looking at their profiles?”

“Nope.” You pop the ‘p’ syllable, finger still moving erratically across the screen as your eyes pin on the monitor where two characters are running towards each other after being separated for ten years. “I think there’s a glitch with my app. Maybe it’s the wifi. I’m not getting any matches.”

“That’s weird.”

“I know right.”

The both of you sit in silence for the rest of the half hour, finishing the show. Taehyung chows down on your hot cheetos and feeds you when you open your mouth with an ‘ah’. He doesn’t really care that your hair has been unwashed for the past two days or that the rips in the couch scratch uncomfortably on his skin. The pair of you simply allow time to pass as the flickerings of the lights flash onto your faces until it dies out.

“What the fuck?!”

“Shit.” Taehyung jumps from your sudden yelling voice. “You startled me!”

“Why am I not getting any matches?!” You cry out, still swiping. “I’ve downloaded this, Bumble, eHarmony, OkCupid, everything under the damn sun!”

“Well maybe-”

“Ow.” You wince and the mobile device falls from your hand. Taehyung yawns, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. He feels terribly drowsy and exhausted, no better dream than to collapse onto his bedsheets at this very moment.

He groans with your hiss, “What is it now, woman?”

“My thumb hurts, Tae.”

“Well yeah, you’ve been swiping for how long now?”

“Three hours...I think four actually.” You whimper out, trying to bend the bone.

“Dear lord.” He shakes his head and stretches his arms out. “Go ice it or something. I think I’m going to head to bed now. See you in the morni-”

A strangled shout erupts from your lips. Taehyung is jolted awake and he immediately flickers on the lights. It takes a second before electricity runs through the bulb but when he lays his eyes onto your thumb that you’re trying to fold into your palm, he sharply inhales. “Oh fuck.”

Your digit is not only swollen but bruised, bent in a weird direction, coloured blue and purple.

“You actually sprained it!”

“Did you think I was making it up?!”

“Oh my god...why can’t I have a day of peace with you?! Get up!”

“What?” You’re hauled up when his hand wraps around your other wrist. “Where are we going?!”

“The hospital.”

You’ve died.

Suddenly, as you peel back your lids, you’re in a large room of white. It burns to the back of your eyeballs, the immaculate shade of purity embracing your cold heart and the pain of your hand has dwindled into nothing. Wherever you look, wherever you go, there are good looking people everywhere. Women and men are dressed in ivory coats, slicked back hair and adorning gorgeous smiles. This is Heaven.

“Are you her guardian? Please register.” The nurse hands your best friend the clipboard and several sheets of paperwork. He sighs and drags you with him as he takes a spot in the open waiting room. Your eyes are going all over the place and you’re drooling.

He snaps his fingers in front of you. “Y/N, Y/N...Y/N?” When you look at him, he pets your hair like you’re a puppy. “Good girl. Now I need you to use your left hand and sign here.”

You obey his command and he nods, filling in your home address and your date of birth, everything in between for you. “Taehyung. Be honest with me…” You ogle a smoking surgeon as they ruffle their sweaty locks, rushing past you. “Am I dead?”

“Yes.” He giggles, deciding to entertain you despite it being one in the morning.

“If this is Heaven…” Your pupils find his. “Then why are you here?”

He uses the clipboard to lightly smack the top of your head. You let out an ‘ow’ but he saunters off to submit the papers to the counter before sitting back down. “How could you hit someone ill?”

“You’re not ill.” He nags, “and you did this to yourself.”

“Maybe it was worth it. Why are there so many good looking doctors and nurses, here? I’ve been missing out, Tae. This is where it’s at. Maybe you should break my leg so I can stay longer.”

“At this rate, I might run you over with a car first.” He holds his head in his hands, questioning every single deity and god he knows the name of, as to why you’re so thirsty and desperate.

Your best friend’s phone buzzes in his pocket and he pulls it out. You lean over, reading his messages over his shoulder. It’s Krystal and she’s asking him what he’s doing, sending a wink emoticon along with the message. He stares at it for a second and then puts his phone away.

“You’re not gonna answer that?”

“Nah.” He shuts his eyes, crosses his arms and leans back. “I’m too tired to.”

You let out a baffled scoff. If it was Taehyung, he could afford to give radio silence for two full weeks and people would still be all over him. If it were you, no matter how far and wide you would search, there would be absolutely no one.

You repress the urge to strangle Taehyung out of pure jealousy.

“I really don’t understand it.” Every once in a while, you would consult him on some girl advice, whether it’s on what preferences men have on lingerie or ranting as to why people are so difficult. He always listens and it reminds you of the sleepovers that you, Somi and Taehyung used to have in high school.

“Am I pretty, Taehyung? Or is it because I’m just unlovable?”

“I think you’re a bit psychotic but you’re honestly fine.” He mutters and opens his eyes slowly. “Half-decent, I guess.”

“Psh, thanks for the comfort, dude.” You nudge him and he laughs. The two of you don’t get to banter back and forth when Somi comes strutting down the hallway with her hands on her hips.

Her kitten heels click against the tiles and you suddenly feel you’re getting into trouble with your mom or a teacher. You stand up and Tae follows you, silenced by the menacing aura approaching. “What did you do, young lady?”

“Nothing.”

“She sprained her thumb by swiping left on tinder for four consecutive hours.” As if to further mock you, Taehyung hitches his healthy thumb to your form beside him.

You whip your head up with a sharp glare. “Tattletale.”

Taehyung grins mischievously, shrugging his shoulder upwards as his mouth moves into a boxy shape. Somi’s face falls within her hands as she mumbles something like ‘oh god’. “You’re an embarrassment, you know that?” She scolds you without restraint, “you should be lucky I’m working a graveyard shift.”

Somi’s in the nursing program and to help add to her resume, she’s working part time at the hospital. You never thought it would come in handy until now. “Thank you.”

“Wait here until I can get some bandages or something…” She gradually backs away. “Both of you. Do. not. move. I don’t need any trouble around here.” When you nod and Taehyung mimics your motion, she takes off running down the hall.

You’ve never had a boyfriend or girlfriend in your entire existence. You’ve never once been embraced tightly. You’ve never had a lover before. You haven’t been kissed. You haven’t held hands with someone. You haven’t been touched or caressed by another. You don’t know what it feels like to mean the world to someone or to be held close by a person’s heart. The words of ‘I love you’ have never been spoken on your tongue.

But you have also never been alone.

As you watch one of your best friends scatter away, you turn to directly face the other one beside you.

“Maybe the person I’ve been looking for this entire time has been standing right in front of me.”

Taehyung who’s standing in front of you, steps off to the side almost immediately, nearly getting whiplash from the movement. He bursts out into laughter and the corners of your own mouth lift upwards.

#sfwbangtan stories #bts fanfic #Taehyung fanfic #taehyung fluff #taehyung scenario #this is probably my favourite OC that I've ever written....

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eris0330 · 7 years

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☽Pairing☾ ; Taehyung | Reader

☽Genre☾ ; Angst

☽Word Count☾ ; 1.9k

☽Note☾ ; I only speak from my own experience.

☽Warnings☾ ; Depression | Mental illness

“How is it going Y/N?”

A question shot into the frigid air of any type of office room, displayed with flowers, plants and simple dull paintings from kids that has been through your stage in early age. The woman in front, tipped her glasses onto the right spot, finding the clock ticking becoming louder and louder.

“It’s going well. Still tired” You simply answered, fiddling your thumbs as a mechanism of forgetting the demons, which haunts you whenever there is an opportunity to taunt your life.

“Are you still together with Taehyung?” The sound of your lover’s name filled your heart with harsh beating sounds, and the warmth of lava overflowing. Taehyung has been your boyfriend since the end of high school, but promised to stay by your side even though you had separate interests. He wasn’t around a lot, due to his busy schedule as an idol, but it didn’t stop him from checking up on you now and then.

“Yeah” You whispered, trying to hide the smile of away as Taehyung flashed across your mind. “Have you told him about you coming here?”

It was a thing you hated about yourself, more than the rest. You never told Taehyung, of what haunts you when he’s not around. Being just happy and delightful in his presence, you couldn’t let this go for your own sake. He didn’t deserve to be held back, by what destroys only you. It wasn’t a lie, that the thought had crossed paths whenever you held his face close to your own, but the moment of pure gold and happiness, told you it wasn’t the right time. It was never the right time. Whatever taunted your covered gloomy mind of destruction, Taehyung’s smile brought you back to life like nothing else.

“Not yet…”

“Will you consider telling him?” It was another battle of concluding, that your demons can’t be hidden forever. You lost count of how many times your psychiatrist would ask you the same questions, of how your days has been or when your dreams became nightmares. Sometimes, being awake while the nightmare continued. It was your days going in the loop of grey clouds and sorrowful memories of the past playing with your present, but watching Taehyung stand at the edge with open arms, made you want to run ahead. When would the day come, where the truth came out of the other side you never dared to show him.

“Y/N!” Arriving at your designated coffee shop, in the chilly autumn weather, Taehyung was waiting impatient at a bench under the brown-orange withered three. His shaking body of the cold coming closer with open arms as he swings your small body around, with the sound of his giggles fill your eardrums and soft warm kisses fill your skin.

“It’s so cooold! Why are you late?” He questioned with a pout, taking your hand in his as you both walked towards the entrance. It was bigger, and thinner than your own, dragged by the coffee tables and chairs. Finding a secluded area in the corner, you were seated to wait for an order to arrive. You stripped your fuzzy coat and waited patiently, watching your beloved come back with hot cocoa in his hands. Sniffing in the air of chocolate and whipped cream, you sipped lightly before barely burning yourself.

“I was having a meeting at work” You excused, setting the cup away watching the whip cream form a beard on Taehyung.

“Really? On a Sunday?” Putting his hand across the table, watching it lay softly against the light-coloured wood. You put your own in his embrace, watching his fingers brush against your worn-out knuckles.

“Yeah… They pick out weird dates to do it. How about you? How’s everything going with the comeback?” You drifted the conversation away to not feel bad about not telling him about your visit with your current psychiatrist, which was in fact, your third one in five years. No one could expect you to drift out of this zone of shadows, watching yourself slip away in their hands.

“It’s doing great. We have released the trailer already and ARMY is loving it! I hope to get a good response on our album….” He chuckled, sipping on the cocoa which steamed its heat into the decorated room. His smile that you loved so damn much, and even more when he laughed. It was contagious and your own selfish medicine, to forget the world.

“I like the name of it ‘HER’ and the song in the trailer. You know I think about you, when I listen to it…” He continued to speak, glimpsing his doe eyes at you in a fairy tale. Your insides turned to mush whenever he looks, as if you were the only one left on this earth.

“You’re extra cute today TaeTae” You giggled, sipping the nicely warm chocolate which felt like kisses on your lips.

“I want to see you more.” He confessed, tilting his head as your fingers bonded together. Your cheeks heating up, as if the drink was too hot for your own good.

“I want to see you too, Tae” You blurted out, putting the cup down to watch his smile grow larger into a box. Taehyung was unique in every way, his laughter, his eyes, hair and just personality. God how you loved the way he just loved every animal in the world, and wishing for peace everywhere.

“How about tomorrow?” He proposed, watching his eyelash bat at your sudden surprise. You have had specific dates filled with meetings, but you couldn’t get yourself to tell him regardless of what happened when he wasn’t here.

“I’m busy tomorrow” You responded, sipping the cocoa once again, feeling your dry throat continue to feel as a desert.

“Then Wednesday?”

“I can’t, meeting.”

“Friday?”

“I have a mee-“ Your quick declining answer, set Taehyung to retreat his hand from the warm table. Your heart hammering as if your ribcage would burst into tiny pieces. His eyes turned from soft to stern, leaning against his chair watching your distinctive expressions.

“Why do you always have a meeting? What is there to have meetings about?” As much as you loved every side of him, there was something about his curiosity that would kill you. His posture was manly, demanding and even terrifying of where his golden eyes have left.

“Just about work” You whispered, diverting your eyes towards the half-emptied cup. Your hands shaking in fear, of setting yourself up with your white lies.

“Really? I saw you earlier today… You weren’t at the office building…” He trailed off, watching your shocked face degrade from confusion to feeling trapped.

“I-I was at a meeting” You weren’t supposed to stutter, but for Taehyung to believe you, didn’t go as smooth as you hoped. His eyebrow enraged, he bit on his lip before asking you another question. His eyes falling to shame and sadness, when telling you what’s been erupting his mind.

“Are you seeing someone?”

“I-I can explain Tae” His face dug into the cave of his hands, overwhelmed by your answer. Feeling the shame creep along his spine, thinking that another man has had their hands on your precious body besides him.

“No! I won’t accept that! I can’t believe you’re seeing someone else!” His words were harsh between the gritted teeth of rage, pulling his hair in misery of your own foolish act. Taehyung didn’t know what to do, it has never happened to him and seeing it all unfold in front of his own eyes, he couldn’t take it anymore.

“We’re done Y/N. I’m so fucking done” He finished, pushing the chair back to the point it hit the wall. The sound of a crash and people mumbling from afar, you felt tears burn in the corner of your eyes. Taehyung’s broad body walking towards the exit, making you think irrational for grabbing his arm.

“No Taehyung! It’s not like that!” You pleaded with tears falling and a headache forming at the hurt actions of your boyfriend. His burning eyes of rage, glancing back before retreating his arm.

“Spare it.” He spat at you, before feeling the warm fuzzy fabric disappear out of your grip. Your heart thumbing and breaking at every step he took, as for your own lips to shake in shock and even too dry of a throat to speak. You bit the inside of your cheek, before calling his attention. Your messy form and ruined makeup, you called one last time. As much as Taehyung was hurt, he would always look back when you called, and so he did.

“I’m seeing a psychiatrist.” Your words shooting dagger into his back, as he rotated to watch your legs give in. Your hands forming a burning fist, as your cries couldn’t be heard anymore. It was too painful, too painful to tell the truth of yourself. “I’m seeing a psychiatrist, Tae… I would never cheat on you…” You whispered, feeling his silhouette approach. His knees aligning with yours, as a supportive arm help you walk back to the secluded area finding a couch to crash.

Sitting together on the lime green soft couch, your breaths hasn’t become any steadier when Taehyung was right next to you. His eyes scanning every bit of your emotions, biting his lip as if he wanted to say something. But nothing came out, your eyes trying to read each other without vail.

“For how long… have you seen a psychiatrist…?” He seemed calmer and concerned than ever, as your dried the crusty tears away. Your hands still shaking at the scene before, watching his eyes soften making you feel regret grow in your stomach.

“A few years now…” You decided to tell him the truth. The burning truth you tried to hide, convincing yourself it was best off like that. But, not again.

“Why didn’t you just tell me?”

“I didn’t want to ruin everything. I couldn’t get myself to tell you how much I hate myself, how much I hate everything without a reason. Why my world looks so dark, and want to seclude myself into the pits of darkness… because that’s where I feel secure.” You whispered, not realising Taehyung’s eyes grow large at your sudden words. It was a different world, watching you unfold like this. The way your tears continued to stay on your lashes, and the red burst of aftermath.

“Ruin everything? Y/N, it wouldn’t ruin anything… I care about you, you know that…” His hands taking in yours as he always did, when you felt sad about the family troubles at home. His finger softly glazing at your rough palm, before securing your fingers between his.

“I’m not the one to tell you how to live your life, than yourself. But, you should know that nothing will ruin this relationship, because you have a depression. You’re on the right track to get help, and now that I know, I will support you as much as I can.” Your heart bursting, but not from pain. A dash of light overflew you, feeling the freedom of confessing your hidden secret. Your mind feeling clear and the headache disappearing, you tightened the grip.

“Thank you, Taehyung.” You whispered, before letting your foreheads brush together, as the strands tickling your noses. Taehyung was a special kind of guy, a hero as you would call it. But in reality, he is the side kick, and only yourself, can save the burning world inside.

#sfwbangtan #bts #bangtan boys #bts text #bts scenario #bts angst #angst #scenario #fanfiction #bts fanfiction #bts taehyung #taehyung #v #kim taehyung #taehyungxreader #fiction #short story #request #beyond the scene

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dat-town · 5 years

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a trick to falling

Characters: Yoongi & You

Setting: inception au [moodboard]

Genre: angst, action, romance

Warnings: use of deadly weapons in dreams, mentions of death and mental illnesses, open ending!

Words: 18.2k

Summary: You knew you should have said no when Yoongi asked you to be the forger of the team. You should have known nothing good would ever happen if you work together again. Especially if it means to found the traitor of your old team.

Dreams – those luring, too sweet, unrealistic dreams – can be just as dangerous as real life. Sometimes, when people lose themselves to them, when they become too attached, even more so.

All around you hundreds and thousands of people are living the dream but you know better. You're satisfied with your simple life as a coffee shop waitress (at least you tell yourself) as long as you don't have people dying around you because of a mistake you made.

But trusting the wrong person has never been a single person's fault. Dreams can kill a good man, you know it too well, and the sad colours of the sky reflect the grief of your heart with their always haunting memories.

Dark clouds are gathering outside, a black shadow covering the blue-ish grey of the sky like overspilled ink and soon, it weeps silver rain. It's the kind of scenery you had only seen in dreams. The dullness of London rains gets a magical hue as the golden sun rays are filtered through the clouds.

An invisible hand seizes your throat with fear and you grab on the medallion hanging from a silver chain around your neck. It's your totem, the telltale sign of the difference between reality and dream world. It weighs more in dreams but now it's just as light as it's supposed to be. A relieved sigh is torn from your throat and you take a deep breath telling yourself to stop being so paranoid.

After all, it's been years now. Nothing has happened. Nothing will.

“Black coffee to the ninth table,” Mary calls out and you whip your head towards her, tearing your curious gaze away from the slick windows getting splashed by water, making those cry too.

You stumble to your feet, fixing your apron on your way out of the resting area. The ninth is your table, has always been since you started working here almost a year ago. Before that you have been coming and going, never staying at one place for too long. Here, the salary is alright and they don't ask too much. They don't care where you came from and why. The lady who owns the place took a good look on you back then and told you to stay with no questions asked.

The ninth table is a nice one, just by the window, in one of the brightest corners. It's the closest to the patisserie counter, so it always smells sweet there. But when you see him sitting there with a local newspaper in his elegant hands, your steps halt and the coffee burns your fingers even over the ceramic pot.

The man at the ninth table has eyes like crows, dark and sharp. His gaze could kill, you remember, but now he looks around anxious and suspicious like every time he's at a place he doesn't know. His hair is shorter, black, bangs hang low into his forehead. He's an older version of the self you remember (the one in your dreams).

Only your pride stops you from turning your back to him and walk away like you once did when you moved to the other end of the world (because of him). Years passed but eventually, he came after you. But why… and why now?

Questions burning your throat, your empty hand's fingers idly fiddling with the hem of your skirt, you walk up to him as if you saw a ghost, a remnant of a man who once meant the world to you.

Suddenly, you can't find your voice, it might be stolen by the Sea Witch but there's no love on Earth that could help you get it back. Instead your gaze follows the sharpness of the man's jaw, the straight line of his shoulders and admire the fitness he has in that black leather jacket he wears. He hasn't changed much and yet, it's like looking at a stranger when his eyes bore into yours.

Those black holes, you once knew all too well, now hold mysteries on their own, ones you can't quite solve. His thin, pink lips are stretched to a tentative smile – smiles that are secrets to him, forgotten memories.

“Hey…” he speaks up in that hoarse, deep voice that never failed to send chills down your spine. No matter how many years passed, today isn't an exception either.

“No,” you tell him firmly, straightforwardly with no shadow of doubt or even an ounce of hesitation. He seems taken aback by your harsh reaction.

“I didn't even say anything.”

“But you only come when you want something, so no, I won’t do it whatever it is,” you shake your head, relentless as you stand straight, drawing confidence of the past year when you've been so much better off without all that grief you finally left behind you (or did you?) “Unless you want to order a coffee. That I can do.”

The cold of november rain is nothing to the iciness of your words thrown at the man before you. He looks at you conflicted, searching for the girl he once knew in you but you buried her deep enough together with the weakness you had owned. You won't become so vulnerable, never again, you swore.

“I wouldn’t have come if I had any other choice, you know that, right? This job is important,” Yoongi swears and he never lied, not to you, but there's a difference between believing in something and it actually being true. The two of you used to often disagree on the priorities, you might still do.

“Why? Why would it be any different?” you ask, curious of an explanation that could actually convince you. For you a job was just that: a job, nothing more but Yoongi sometimes took them too seriously, even risked his own life to get them done. The perfectionist in him couldn't let any less.

Now, for whatever reason he needs your help. After not seeing each other for years, it must be huge if he came straight to you, stepping on the land of the British Queen to offer you a job again. You toy with the chances trying to come up with a good enough reason but what he actually says, surprises you a whole lot:

“He’s one of us.”

“What?” you blink, more confused than ever. Is the one whose mind this client want to get is also an extractor? That has always been a no good business, it isn't worth the risks, so Yoongi considering this is almost like sacrilege. It makes you hold your breath waiting his answer which he oh so carefully provides:

“It's not a paid job. It's vengeance. You remember Jeon Jungkook, right?”

How can you not?

The boy with wonder in his doe eyes, always so in awe with the world. Beside Yoongi in the team, he became one of the best architects you have ever known, maybe he even outdid his own mentor. He held so much enthusiasm and had big, naive ambitions about saving the world of the evil it couldn't get rid of. Accusing him of whatever he might have done seems ridiculous… Or is it just you who has always had a soft spot for him?

Hearing the name, one of the names you wished to forget over the years, you sit down onto the chair in front of Yoongi.

“After so many years, you really think that he was the one who betrayed us?” you ask searching for any sign of confidence or doubt in Yoongi's eyes. He has neither, he stares back at you empty like he did when he watched you walk away back then.

“We found a few new hints, so he can prove them either wrong or right,” he says as if the world was only black and white, he has always had a kind of view on the world you couldn't share with him. And when chaos came and broke all of you, it turned him into the monster only a black soul could. Trust for him has never had such high value before that and even you couldn't earn that. “Jungkook is excellent at what he does, truly one of the bests. But we all know ladies are his weakness. He would let his guard down if…”

“Oh no,” you cut him off disbelief written clearly to your face, carved into the sad curve of your mouth. “You don’t need me because I’m one of the best forger of our time but because I’m a girl?”

You scoff with anger building up in you. He hasn't changed at all. Why did you even consider it otherwise?

“I can’t believe you, Yoongi. Fuck you,” you spit and move to get up. But he reaches for you before you could turn away and grabs on your wrist, pulling you back. His fingers are cold, as always, cold against the rapid thrumming of your blood and you hate the betrayal of your own body.

“Look, this is important,” he says, pleads almost, so unlike him and his eyes tell you hundreds of lies and the loss you all had. It saddens you in a way it reminds you of what you had and if it really was worth of losing.

You take a deep breath and look him dead in the eye. Your next words are aim to hurt like hundreds arrows coming for his heart.

“Every job is so fucking important to you, Yoongi. That’s why we broke up.”

This time, when you walk away Yoongi doesn't keep you back, he doesn't even try. Just like all those years ago, he just watches you slip out of his grasp and dissolve in distance until there's nothing but an ache in his chest where his heart should be.

He doesn't call you to get his ordered coffee, he isn't even there next time you check the ninth table: he vanishes into smoke and foam but he leaves a business card on the table. Lost in a Dream - Special sleeping services, it says and there's a Londonian address scribbled under it with the number 302. According to Google, it's a hotel, not that you care.

You have trouble sleeping that night. Everything reminds you of forgotten faces and buried memories as if your past came back to haunt you. It's been four years and you thought you moved on, that there's no part of your life anymore that can claw their way back and slap you in the face. But grief has no expiration date. The pain dulls, the feelings fade but they never disappear completely. A trigger is enough, the appearance of a man from the past and the nightmares are right back in, shaking you awake in the middle of the night in cold sweat.

You have to realize that you have never completely gotten over your past or made peace with what happened. You ran like a coward. Maybe it took these four years to be brave enough to face the consequences and the truth.

In the morning, you call in asking for a day-off in the coffee shop. Then, with the business card in your hand you get into a taxi and tell the driver to go to the Blackfriars Hotel. It's not a long ride, certainly not long enough to think through all the possibilities but you won't turn back now.

The receptionist doesn't even care when the bell rings above the door, she doesn't even look up from the fashion magazine she's reading, so you don't bother to say hi either. You find the elevator quickly and from there, it's a no-brainer to find the room 302.

But before the wooden door with the curvy numbers on it, you hesitate.

Are you really ready to be thrown back into the world of chaos and danger? Is truth really worth of sacrificing your peaceful, normal life for an adventure? An adventure that can leave with more scars, be them more mental than anything, the deadliest of all?

But you have to do this to lessen the guilt and properly tie all the loose strands that still bind you to the dream business. So brushing your worries away, the light sound of your knocks echo through the hallways.

Then you wait until you hear the soft paddle of approaching footsteps and you still as the door unlocks. When Yoongi opens it, he's not that well put-together like he was yesterday. There're tired circles under his eyes and his hair is mussled. He pushes down the sleeves of his white shirt in hurry as his eyes widen at the sight of you.

“You came,” he whispers and he looks at you as if you were a dream, a wishful thinking coming true.

“We own Jin this,” you say firmly and push your way past him, walking into the hotel room with the confidence of someone who owns the place.

There's a dirty, empty mug on the table in the small kitchen and you see the open suitcase full of mechanics beside the unmade bed and the used IV needles on the bedside table.

Your throat closes up with a worry you have always known to have for him but the difference is that now you have no right to tell him to take care of himself. Does he go under alone a lot? you wonder and want to tell him how stupid and reckless it is but that's not your place to do so. You didn't come to preach anyway.

“Tell me the plan. Then I get to decide whether I want to do it or not,” you give him an ultimatum, the only thing you came for and you tell yourself you would really have it in you to leave if the circumstances weren't up to your liking.

“That's all I ask for,” Yoongi nods and motions towards the couch but you’re not in the mood to take a seat. The man next to you sighs and sits down himself. “Jungkook has been trained with us, so he knows all our tricks. His mind is basically a fortress and probably has an army of projections to protect his secrets.”

You tilt your head, that much is true, you have known this all. Jungkook will definitely be a lot more difficult target than oblivious people or those who merely took a few lessons on how to differentiate dreams from reality. He's a pro and you will have to outsmart him to convince him of the reality of the dream.

“It will take at least a week of preparation to find out his daily routine, but we don't want to raise suspicion too much by following him around for long. Then, when we have him, I want to build a two-level dream,” Yoongi continues and it doesn’t slip past your attention that he avoids giving away too much details. You understand why; he doesn’t trust you entirely and you get it. He would be a fool to. You could just report all this to Jungkook, you could double-cross him if you really wanted to and given the way you said goodbye (or rather the lack of formal bye), you wouldn't trust yourself either.

“A dream in a dream,” you muse out loud. It’s not that uncommon, you have done it together before but it can be dangerous, too. It needs another dreamer and a bigger dose of sedate which makes waking up riskier. If Jin was here you wouldn't worry for a moment, he was the best point man in the business you knew. Sadly, he couldn't save himself either.

“Yes, we will need that time in the lower level,” the strategist reasons but you are well aware that it's not enough. Most missions are fine with one dream level, his plan must include something more special than the time factor if he really wants this that much, so you wait for him to go on and with heavy, guilt-laced voice he does: “I want him to go back to that mission four years ago.”

You suck in a surprised yelp at the mention of that ill-fated event. It makes sense after all, like everything does with him… eventually.

“You want him to reenact what happened because his subconscious will probably make him do the same if the setting is similar,” you speak aloud as you come to the only logical conclusion and Yoongi’s mouth twitches into a half smile. It's similar to the look that he has on when he’s proud. It reminds you of your first missions and how much you wanted to earn this; his respect. After all these years, a little part of you is still proud that you haven't lost your touch, nor your ability to read the mysterious man well, at least when it comes to work. But after all, you were colleagues first, lovers later. Maybe you weren't meant to be both.

“That's right. We won't make him believe that the second level is reality, no, he should know that it's a dream, a nightmare coming back to haunt him, so he won't be that alert,” Yoongi explains further, voice low and calm like it is always concerning missions. An admirable trait, you have always thought so since you tend to be on the impulsive side when it comes to discussions. Another thing that makes you different.

Maybe it's the underlying worry that has written itself into the crease of the man's brows when he looks at you that makes you think this time he's not that sure of himself. Yet, his next words still surprise you as they are almost as tentative as if he was afraid you might run off. “And that's where I need you the most.”

At first you don't understand the where and why but Yoongi is patiently waiting for you to come to the conclusion yourself. When you do, the breeze of your whisper is barely audible in the storm of your heart.

“You need me to forge myself into Jin.”

Yoongi flashes a sad smile and you know you're right. You have always known how to read his strategies and you have to give him that it's a good one. The truth will be relieved one way or another in a setting like this. But is it worth it? To give up on your normal life for a gamble and sacrilege against the dead? For a mission no one knows where it goes?

Yet, you don't need much time to make your decision.

“I have a condition, though, a favour if you prefer,” you say and the cease of wrinkles on Yoongi's forehead indicate his wariness.

“What is it?”

“I don't want personal matters be involved in work. Whatever happened between us stays in the past.”

It's a simple request yet you need him to agree, so you can work level-headed. Yoongi is too much of a professional to cross that line while being on a mission but you just want to make sure that you won't be suddenly called out for your past decisions.

“Okay. That I can promise,” your ex-boyfriend nods, agreeing to your condition which surprises you at first because he has always been the type who fights till he can for what he wants.

It might have been naive of you to think that he hasn't moved on from you just because you never had an official break up. You moving out and leaving a note that you can't do it anymore was everything you left behind for him. It might have been unfair to him but what you had by then was already just an excuse of a relationship. And now? Now as Yoongi looks at you with determination set in his coal black eyes, you can feel it in your bones: the sweet weight of being partners again.

“Are you in then?” he asks just to make sure.

“Yeah. Let's do it.”

“Thank you,” he lets out a deep sigh and his shoulders drop; he seems relieved.

“I don't do it for you. I do it for Jin,” you remind him since you don't want him to misunderstand. He doesn't take it to heart though, he's already up and rummaging through his bag searching for something.

“How is your Chinese?” he asks in the middle of it and it's so out-of-the-blue that you become perplexed for a moment.

“It has gotten rusty. Why? Don't we go back to Seoul?” you furrow your brows as you try to read between the lines. You haven't talked about the location of the mission that much is true.

“No, we're heading to Shanghai. Jungkook is working there now. We'll meet the rest of the team there,” Yoongi explains as he takes out numerous little notebooks from a secret pocket of a suitcase. Your heart does a strange little squeeze at the mention of the team. You have missed them, you realize.

“Could you patch the old team back together?” you ask ever so hopefully. You might not want to throw yourself in the lines of danger again but you can't wait to meet your old friends again.

“Namjoon never left but Tae has disappeared, nobody knows where he is. There's a kid, Jimin, he joined as our new point man and Hoseok, he came with him but he has great connections and we might need an extra man to do the job.”

Yoongi doesn't even look at you while he answers but you can hear the sadness of his voice, the longing for old friends, old times. That at least you have in common.

“You mean one more life on the line,” you mumble not actually meaning to say it out loud and when you realize you did, you look at Yoongi alarmed with teeth digging into the flesh of your lower lip.

“You know I would have never let Jin or anyone do it if I had known it's dangerous,” he says and he looks rather saddened than angered by your statement.

“Every job we do is dangerous, we're all aware but there's always a point to stop and you can't seem to know that.”

Yoongi doesn't say anything (he knows it's true) just stands up and holds out a blue covered ID paper for you.

“He's your fake passport with a Chinese visa.”

“You knew I would say yes?” you take it from him, heart weirdly fluttering when your fingers touch.

“I dared to hope,” Yoongi shrugs but he simply knows you too well. “Looks like a real one, right? Hoseok got it.”

Opening the passport you see the picture you had on your CVs in the past two years. This Hoseok guy is really good at what he does.

“Please, tell me we don't play the old roles.”

Yoongi’s face splits as he smirks but it's more awkward than he intended. So old roles it is: couples are always less suspicious than individuals when crossing multiple borders.

Ten days of sick-leave, that much you ask of your workplace and the next day you’re off to Mainland China. It should be a routine job, in and out, no feelings involved, you'd like to believe at least. But all those memories flooding back doesn't help at all no matter how much you want to shut them out.

Yoongi doesn't press, doesn't ask invasive questions, doesn't bother you or tries to make small talk. He only speaks when he has something to say about your journey or the plan. Otherwise, you're just by each other's side in silence. Yet, in every passing moment when you catch a glimpse of his side profile, the jawline that could cut, the way he holds himself, the sadness that now lingers in him more than before, you feel a slight pang of pain in your chest. He has had this kind of sadness in him before too and it squeezed your heart every time when you couldn't help it with hugs and kisses. Now you know better, they root a lot deeper than that and more often than not, they need professional help.

It's like waking up from a dream when you arrive to the lively city in the East. It's very different from the London you called home in the last year. It makes you feel smaller, invisible and yet, the adrenaline that comes with it welcomes you home with open arms. It takes a taxi ride to get to the motel downtown. You bow to the Chinese girl at the reception desk as you pass by while Yoongi pays her no mind. After an awkward elevator ride, he knocks on a door on the fifth floor. The door only opens slightly ajar and a stranger's head peeks out.

“Password?”

“What about I punch you instead?” Yoongi groans and you can tell he hasn't changed a bit. It might be his cold, distant exterior but he keeps attracting these all smiles, bubbly people around him. Seokjin was also like that, too bright and warm. Yoongi often acted like he hated his childishly optimistic behaviour, his dad jokes and that wide grin on his face but he wanted nothing less than wipe off that sign of happiness. He might have been the leader, the strategist but Seokjin, being the hen, kept them together and he was indescribably grateful for that. The point man used to be so oblivious to everything around him but you are pretty sure that was all an act. Jin was a lot smarter than he appeared and for what people took him.

“Wrong, try with 'what a lovely day to see you.’” This new guy grins and unlocks the door to usher you in.

“So he's Hoseok. He probably shits sunshine too,” Yoongi points at the smiley guy introducing you while you are at it. You laugh, offering a hand and telling him your name.

“Oooh you're The Girl? We have heard so much about you!” Hoseok shrieks and casually swings an arm around your shoulder. “Did you like your passport? Did everything go smoothly?”

“Yeah, everything went fine, thank you,” you smile at him. It's hard not to, he has a very warm presence. Still, you wonder what he might have heard about you.

“You actually came! Gosh, it's been a while.” A tall, dyed blonde guy comes into the room and greets you with a wide, nostalgic smile.

“Good to see you, Joon,” you sigh and run into his arms that embrace you just the same he did all those years ago.

“You too, shorty,” he ruffles your hair and it's such a big brother behaviour that it makes you miss old times.

“Are they here?” Another unfamiliar face peeks from the next room and his bright eyes remind you of Taehyung. Or is it just an illusion of your brain making everything seem like nothing has changed? But everything has, one way or another.

“Hello, I'm The Girl or so Hoseok says,” you wave towards the guy with boyish features and an eye smile that makes his irises disappear completely as Namjoon leaves your side.

“Aaah sorry about that. You were kinda like The One Who Cannot Be Named until you said yes to the mission. I'm Jimin, the new point man,” he introduces himself and offers a hand that you take without hesitation.

“So I’ve heard,” you nod towards him and it does feel nice being so welcomed. You were a bit worried – although you would have never admitted – that a different team will make the situation more awkward than it already is. Luckily that doesn't seem to be the case at all.

“You can pack out and rest a little, we will go through the plan in the evening,” Yoongi carelessly throws a room key your way and you catch it out of reflex (old habits die hard). For a moment both of you are taken aback and quiet but then he looks away again, grabbing his own suitcase and disappears in a room.

You appreciate that he got a separate room for you even if it's small and lonely. You might have shared a bed with him during your active years but things change and you need your own place now. Especially if it's about him. Being in the same room already feels like something was prickling on your skin, like there's a confession scratching your throat and hands itching to touch. So many old memories surface just to complicate the mission. You thought you moved on, that these four years was enough to forget and forgive but oh, how could you forget the one who made you believe love was real and present? You found a family within this team but it all fell apart when the nightmares turned into reality.

“It was really nice to meet you, guys. See you soon,” you wave them goodbye a bit awkwardly and when you're out of the room and the close proximity of Yoongi after the almost day-long journey, you feel like you can finally breathe and the tension in your shoulders melts away. It's not his fault, you know very well, it's you who's wary of everything you do or say afraid of shattering the newfound trust between you. You should talk about it, the past, that's obvious because it's a huge scarecrow in the field of your feelings and you can't walk past it without mentioning. But fear is holding you back. No wonder why you asked him to look past what happened but… is that what holds him back too? Or is he afraid like you?

You have never put a label on what you were. It felt so obvious, so natural, no need to stress over it. You were co-workers by day and lovers by night but this uncertainty of not knowing where exactly you stood, behind the meaning of I love yous, it made it too easy to fled when things got bad. You left and he let you leave and you thought that said enough (apparently it didn't). Was he angry? Was he worried? Was he waiting for your call like you foolishly were hoping for his? But no, what you had wasn't fought for, it was left out to bleed in shreds. But it wasn't what made being near him painful, it was his nonchalance, that he doesn't seem affected at all.

You take a quick shower, pack out the few necessary items you bought and check on your social media while trying to empty your mind. You still can't believe that you're halfway across the world about to go on a mission with your ex and face Jungkook. You shouldn't because you should stay neutral and objective but you hope that he wasn't the one who brought the doom. Why would he have done that? But you couldn't deny that he did act weirdly in those last weeks before the mission if you think about it. He was distant and distracted. But what could suddenly make Yoongi think that all of it was his fault?

Letting out a deep sigh you look at the clock, it's already past 10pm. Jetlag really took its toll on you and you aren't sure what exactly Yoongi meant by 'in the evening’. You hope you aren't too late, so you grab your room key and go back to the guys’ on the other side of the corridor. Namjoon lets you in with a soft smile.

“I'm here,” you declare the obvious when you catch a glance of Yoongi in the living room. He beckons you closer.

“There. I set the table,” he points at all the documents and map parts scattered all over the place. The room is suddenly too quiet, even Namjoon disappeared somewhere. It leaves you with a weird kind of nervousness.

“Aren't the others joining us?”

“They already know everything they need to know. It's for you to catch up. We will have a team meeting before the actual action,” Yoongi explains hastily. He has always been like this, so caught up in his own mind that if you didn’t ask he skipped three steps of an explanation because it was obvious for him. Well, it has never been the same for you, you needed every detail.

He sits down in one of the fake leather covered chairs beside the table and with a languid gesture he prompts you to do the same. This time, you don't protest.

“So Jungkook works for a video game company, so our first job is to find a place and time where we can get him alone and unsuspecting...” he starts off immediately as you take a seat but woah let’s not get that ahead of yourself.

“Sure but why do you think he won't know what we are up to if he suddenly dreams about us? He knows us, he's not an everyday target,” you remind Yoongi interrupting the speech at the very beginning. You don't want to be a part of a plan that stands on weak legs, quivering at every step.

“That’s why we change our strategy and instead of doing the usual business we get involved in reality, too. And instead of making him think it's real, we want him to know it's a dream. At least the regular kind.”

“What do you mean by getting involved in reality too?” You lean closer curious to see what he's suddenly typing on the tablet. It’s a bunch of dates, a calendar, you realize, probably Jungkook's schedule.

Yoongi looks up and locks eyes with you over the device. You see your own miniature in his dark eyes illuminated by the artificial light. It takes your breath away for a moment.

“We will meet him. Well, to be specific, you will…” he says but his voice is drown by another.

“Are they together?” Jimin whisper-yells while pointing at you and Yoongi from the kitchen next to the room. He doesn't even try to be discreet about it but you just roll your eyes and turn back to your ex. It's Namjoon who answers eventually:

“Not anymore,” he sighs heavily and you know why. He was the one who introduced you, after all. He has seen you at your best and at your worst too, from the beginning to falling apart.

“So you were saying…” you focus on the on-going conversation again, at least you try your best to get through it without being too distracted.

“If you can come up with a believable reason for you to be in China, he will never suspect you. So we just have to give him a reason to dream about us: we find him and set up a meeting between the two of you. He would never hurt you,” Yoongi goes more in detail but he talks like it was a known fact, an axioma but you have no idea how he can be so sure.

“If your suspicion is right, Seokjin probably died because of him. We thought that wouldn’t happen either,” you mumble under your breath, a bit of censoriousness tinting your tone. The corners of his mouth twitch as if he found it laughable but on a bittersweet note.

“Right but he had always got those puppy eyes for you.”

A moment of sheer silence passes.

“You knew?” you gape at him absolutely dumbfounded. How could you not realize that it wasn't only you who was aware of those looks? Yoongi has always been a better observer than you.

“What? That he has always been helplessly in love with you? Of course I knew,” he scoffs looking away.

It was kind of obvious, Jungkook and his innocent little crush on you. You were with Yoongi back then, so you didn't even consider the possibility of you two together no matter how nice he was.

“Why didn't you say anything?”

“Should I have?” Yoongi quirks a brow as if saying: you didn't leave me for him so why would I have? “I trusted you. I trust you still.”

It stabs you in the chest, just above the heart, threatening to carve it out and dip it into the poison made for the untrustworthy. You know he didn't mean it like that, but you still feel that echoing pang deep inside.

You look down, suddenly ashamed because you knew that despite everything Yoongi didn't deserve to be left alone when grieving. But now he only cares about one thing:

“Do you trust me?” he nudges your hand flattened on the table's surface which makes you look him straight in the eye. Those coffee dark orbs hold mysteries like they always did and so many shared memories that make you blush.

But do you trust him enough to play against the rules by his side again?

“Yeah,” you whisper. You're here after all, aren't you?

Yoongi nods, shoulders getting slump because of relief and he continues with the explanation. Jimin and Hoseok, the ones he doesn't know, are doing the background check on Jungkook. He will less likely be able to recognize them in dreams too.

“They have been on him for a while now. He goes to work everyday from 9 to 5. After that he often goes to the gym or to have a drink with colleagues. Other than that he doesn't really goes out,” he presents the basics.

“Still we need a time when he's alone, so I can 'accidentally’ run into him. He knows that I'm not the type who goes to the gym, so a bar would be more realistic.”

“He actually has a meeting at a hotel's bar next Friday. We can get you a room there making it look like you're on a business trip here.”

“That could work, I think,” you nod pursing your lips. That's what Yoongi has always been good at: planning. You couldn't really argue with him on that.

“Then we decided on it, I guess. You will run into him then offer to get some drinks together, so you can put the sedate into his drink without him noticing. Can you do that?”

“Yeah,” you reply almost too quickly but both of you know that unlike him you're a great actor. Jungkook will be too charmed to be suspicious anyway.

“If you’ll act oblivious when it kicks in, I don't think he would doubt you. He will probably think he drank too much and when he's out we take him,” Yoongi concludes and from then the job is easy, like any other. You all join the dream leaving only Hoseok behind to keep an eye on your sleeping bodies. But for the first time, you won't be playing a role in the first dream-level or will you?

“Sounds like a plan,” you smile slyly and for the first time since you're here, you're actually excited. Dumbfounded you realize that you have missed the adrenaline rush of these missions. And with it comes the frightening truth belatedly but you have missed this boy too with ice in his eyes and fire in his soul.

The week passes slowly and uneventful. At least on your part because you have nothing better to do – while Jimin and Hoseok keep an eye on Jungkook – but to look up old pictures of Jin from those times when the incident happened. Everything, every colour of the clothes has to match or else Jungkook will know it's not an ordinary dream. You feel a bit bad for interpersonating Jin of all people, you have never did this with anyone whom you knew that well. It's easy in a way, you remember his little habits, his mimics and the way he talked but at the same time all this nostalgia saddens you. You miss him more than ever and even though he would never get angry at you for such thing, you can't help but feel a knot in your stomach.

Forging has come naturally to you when you joined this business. You never had such wild imagination to alter the outer world with all its details as much as Yoongi or Jungkook could but changing yourself? It was easy as first grade math. You have always liked changing your exterior be it for Halloween parties or just a different hairstyle, so actually doing this in a world where physical rules could be bent was like a game to you. You have enjoyed it way too much for you to admit it now. You both have. Your love for the dreams was the first thing you shared with Yoongi, so it was almost inevitable for it to be your downfall, too. You can only hope you won’t regret this one last action.

The night before the real mission starts you can't sleep. You keep turning in your bed but eventually you give up and just stare at the dark ceiling. You try to get soaked in the feeling of reality because from tomorrow you will spend almost a week (if you’re lucky) in a dream that only lasts for an hour in reality. When you’re down there for this long, it’s easy to forget which world is fake, so you grab on your necklace on instinct and sigh relieved at the cold touch of metal.

The flashing light of your phone comes unexpected as a notification pops up so late at night but you turn to unlock the device immediately just to see Yoongi’s text in the group chat reminding you all not forget to pack everything in the motel room as if you have never been there before you leave. You wait a minute, then two but nobody besides you reads the message, they are all probably asleep. Except you and Yoongi.

You don’t know why, maybe it’s nostalgia, a sweet reminder of old habits but you get out of your bed and putting a too long-sleeved sweater over your nightgown you leave your motel room only to knock on the boys’. You don’t have to wait long for Yoongi to open the door for you and even though you knew what exactly you signed up for, your breath still hitches seeing him in his flannel PJs. Suddenly the whole situation feels absurdly intimate.

“Hey, can’t sleep?” he archs a brow stepping aside to leave you more place to go inside. Barefoot on the cold hallway you don’t even hesitate to step in.

“Yeah. You know I have always had troubles sleeping before missions,” you remind him matter-of-factly in case he forgot. You wouldn’t blame him, it has been years and maybe he isn’t that hung up on the past like you.

But then he nods understanding and adds without hesitation: “I will heat you a glass of milk.”

You’re so surprised you can’t even protest before Yoongi disappears in the kitchen. You open your mouth and then close it still taken aback that your ex-boyfriend remembers this little habit of yours. Warm milk has always calmed down your anxious heart.

You shake your head slightly trying to get rid off your messy thoughts. By the time you make it to the kitchen with your regained composure, he already takes the drink out of the microwave and holds it out for you.

“Thanks,” you murmur taking the warm mug from Yoongi’s hands. He looks at you so gently, so heavy with feelings you can’t help the sudden need for a deep breath. You can’t let yourself lose in it, you can’t let yourself think why you suddenly don’t know Yoongi anymore as well as you used to.

“Are the dream maps ready?” you clear your throat.

“Yeah. Do you wanna see?” he asks without thinking just like he used to and it reminds you all those times he asked: wanna share a dream with me? and then he took you to the most magical places dreams could be. All of those wonders created by his imagination. You fell in love with him in dreams and maybe that was the problem.

You changed the topic in an attempt of trying not to get lost in the past but you fail as his words bring you back to the times when you and him were a thing.

You keep on falling ever since he came back to your life but you don’t learn, when it comes to him you seem to be unable to say no.

“You know I do,” you smile at him truthfully and putting down the still full mug, you follow Yoongi to the living room when the two suitcases with all the machines are already prepared for tomorrow’s missions. You take a deep breath before lying down on the sofa, already pulling up the sleeves of your clothes and you prepare your hammering heart for the new journey.

Yoongi prepares the needles and cables with skilled fingers, quick as lightning, filling a tiny dose of sedate into the foils. He inserts one needle into his own vein and sits on the other armchair on your right. Leaning over the distance between you, he touches another needle to your skin gently. Involuntarily you suck in a breath when you feel the slight sting of it. Yoongi looks at you the same way he always did - with care, trust and a bit of worry - and the universe reflecting in his orbs is the last thing before his dream pulls you under and darkness envelops you.

It has been a while since you went under, especially with someone else. The air escapes your lungs as soon as you hit the surface of his dream and for a moment you can’t breathe. Then it all brightens and you have to gasp for air as if you had been underwater but in reality (in the dream to be precise) you only wake up now.

You blink rapidly getting adjusted to the lighting and opening your eyes, what you see is strangely familiar. If you didn’t know better, you would think you fell asleep and imagined this whole ruckus with Min Yoongi and his new team. When you look around more closely you realize where you are, it’s the train, that fancy, expensive business one going from Seoul all the way down to the ocean and this was the venue of your brand new trick. Among all these golden glitter and crystal chandelier you were supposed to steal the secrets of a very important businessman. But things don't almost go as planned.

As you walk through a door, a serveur bows before you and you smile when you recognize Yoongi dressed in a fine black suit, very much like him, already in the cabin, at his place on the sofa reading the newspaper of that day, a warm Friday in June four years ago. Even this tiny detail fits. According to your task, you are supposed to go forward and search for Jin telling him to get into the bar because the businessman is approaching but it’s just a dream, a walk in memories, so you don’t have to go along with the screenplay.

You can almost feel the stir in the waters, the tremble in the dream world when you turn on your heels and sit down next Yoongi. You take a cup of coffee from the table acting as natural as you can to avoid the projections’ attention.

“You shouldn't build dreams of memories,” you recite after taking a sip and you look around in the grandiose place. It’s just like as you remember. “This is the first rule you taught Jungkook and each of us. Why are you breaking it?”

You know the plan, you know why it should work like this but still, it’s dangerous getting into one’s head that deep. You worry for him. What if the line between reality and dreams blur in the eyes of your strategist? How will you survive then?

Yoongi sighs, eyes ever-knowing (or just knowing you too much) and a smirk pulls on the corners of his lips in an amused manner. He definitely expected this question and he forms the string of words carefully as he answers.

“I rebuilt everything I can remember from that night. So I go back, analyse it and add details. I need to know exactly what went wrong and where, what I messed up, so I can prevent it from happening again.”

So it’s guilt. You have always guessed he was feeling like the one at fault and truth to be told, you all thought that, too. It was his plan, after all, it should have gone flawlessly but there were unexpected bumps on the way and the equation got messed up, turning his calculation up and down. A bulletwound and too much blood for the amount of sedate still in Jin’s body. When one by one you all woke up, he was there in coma until one day the doctors told you that he had internal bleedings and his heart gave up; you never had a chance to say goodbye.

And so it seems Yoongi has taken all the blame onto himself, taking it with the responsibility and now he tries to fix something that can’t be fixed anymore because it doesn’t matter if he’s in your dreams, there’s nothing that can bring Seokjin back.

Yet, he still seeks for justice and truth, the two things you also let go of when you left this life behind. Now just as one rips off a bandage and opens the wounds, you bleed and hurt all over again. You need to know the exact reason why before you waltz into a made up lie.

“Can I ask why do you suspect Jungkook now? It's been four years.”

Crazy, isn't it? How could you go on with your life normally for so long and now you're suddenly thrown back into this mess of feeling. You fidget in the pretty dress you wear in the dream, it's slightly uncomfortable because of the memories attached to it. Why does Yoongi has to have such an excellent memory to remember the exact texture of even the dress you wore at that day, the very same dress he once took off you praising you with compliments that got you blushing when he said it looked better on the floor. There's no way he remembers that too but unlike you, because Yoongi seems completely composed and unbothered as he sips from his tea.

“There were some bills I needed on the old computer we used to work on. I found Jin's secret bank account while searching for those,” he explains and then he suddenly stops lost deep in his thoughts as he recalls everything from that fateful night a few weeks ago. Was it luck or something that haunted him? Maybe he would never know, or at least not until this mission is finished.

“And?” you inquire wanting to know the details and then Yoongi’s dark, coffee eyes snap up at you. He hesitates only a bit, not sure if you really want to know. Jin has always been a big brother figure for all of you, what if he did something that can change your opinion of him forever?

“And he used to be in serious debt. Like really bad but then suddenly he got money from an account I couldn't trace but…” Yoongi grimaces, a nervous habit when he talks about a topic he isn’t fond of. “The method was the same trick Jungkook liked to use to hide our traces back in his enthusiastic hacker phase.”

The hypothesis makes you gasp. It’s insane, a too far guess. Ridiculous. You thought he had a better base for his suspicion.

“Do you think Jungkook made those projections kill Jin because of money? He loved Jin like a brother,” you spit and you’re well aware it sounds like an accusation but are you really going to mess Jungkook’s mind up over something like this? And if you don’t find anything because he’s actually innocent, then what? Will he give up? Yoongi isn’t like that. Maybe you came for nothing and it boils your blood.

It’s true that you were in Jungkook’s mind but out of all people,Yoongi should know the best that people can't control their subconscious. At least you have never heard of it being possible, but Jungkook has always been an exceptional talent.

“It might not be the money but what the money was for,” the strategist says emphasizing what matters and oh. You have never thought about that. “Remember that Jin promised Jungkook to find his parents’ murderers? Because he used to have some ties in dirty business?”

That’s true, it was something nobody talked about. Jin’s past was a telltale story of a fallen prince and to that nobody wanted to remind him. And Jungkook? He was just another unlucky child who got orphaned because his parents were in a wrong place at the wrong time.

“Do you think Jungkook thought he was also at fault?”

A lucky - unlucky? - guess but now you see the logic behind it. If Yoongi’s right, it’s so much bigger than just your team and a failed mission.

Yoongi nods.

“I'm not sure but I wanna figure it out. A lot went to shit that day,” he muses and well, that’s one way to put it…

You sigh trying to ease your mind when Yoongi offers you a hand and you actually get going to check out the train, the smallest details of the dream’s architecture. You’re very impressed, you have always been by your ex-boyfriend’s works but this just feels too real. The only thing that’s off is the amount of gazes you get from every passing people. You know it’s a bad sign whenever projections start acting up, so you grab on Yoongi’s sleeve to stop him in the middle of an empty corridor.

“Why are they staring at us? What did we do?” You know your voice is slightly hysteric but you hate dying in dreams even if you wake up fine. Not to mention that you didn’t even do anything weird now. What could have been so out of ordinary, so disturbing that Yoongi’s subconscious became suspicious of an intruder?

“Nothing. It’s because of her,” the man replies ever so calmly and point at the corner of the cabin, at the slender figure there and your jaw drops, literally, when you see her getting closer.

“Is that...” you gape, mouth left agape as your words fail you. The girl walks towards you confidently with a lethal smile on her rosy lips and the gun in her hand should scare you the most but instead the illusion of looking into a mirror haunts you more.

“You? Yes,” Yoongi finishes for you and nods. You stand close enough to feel him tense beside you, waiting for an impact that comes in the form of a bullet. It happens so quick and so suddenly that you can barely conjure a scream before darkness falls on you and reality pulls you back.

Since it was Yoongi’s dream, he takes you with him when he wakes up. But seeing him alive and well beside you in the ragged motel room doesn’t ease your rapid heart still close to panic. What are you doing in his dreams with a gun anyway?

You stare at Yoongi waiting for him to say something, anything, any further explanation but you meet with silence. You’re patient because you know he isn’t the type to open up suddenly, but you’re on the verge of your patience when he finally runs out of excuses to stay quiet.

“Dream you hates me,” he grimaces sarcastically but behind the quirk of his mouth you see the hurt and the fatigue. “Usually she kills me before I can get any work done.”

“Won’t it mess up the mission?” You voice out your main concern, worry clinging to your tone but Yoongi shakes his head so sure of himself that makes you wonder where he got his confidence of.

“I won’t be the first dreamer and we need her in the deeper level since you’ll be there as Jin.”

“Oh.” You blink, that's true. Of course, he had thought of everything. But still... “What if she kills you there?”

“She won’t,” Yoongi claims and his voice is ice cold as ice that does not forgive. He doesn't even looks at you while he gets rid of the infusion needle.

“She just did,” you remind him in a voice harsher than you intended. You hardly think it’s necessary though. The way he talks about your occurrence hints at that it happens to him on a regular basis and maybe it does. You have no idea how often he goes under, meets you there and dies by your hands. How can he look at you now so indifferently as if it didn't hurt him?

“I figured out how to make her stop not long ago, so it will be fine,” Yoongi shrugs casually packing away the rest of the stuff you just used. And oh how you wish you could be sure he says the truth.

“You better not lie to me about this,” you tell him firmly, standing up on slightly wobbly legs ready to go back to your room but before you leave the place, you turn back eyeing the man with messy hair and midnight eyes. Is he broken like you? “And Yoongi… just so you know I don't hate you. Never did.”

You tell him but but don't wait for an answer, you don't even want to give him a chance to stop you and ask you how can you not, so you leave. When you’re back in your bed, you have more troubles on your mind than earlier and sweet dreams don't come easier.

It goes a lot smoother that you originally thought. With forging came excellent acting skills which you mostly used to convince others how confident you were in your role. Now, you don't act as anyone and yet, it comes in handy because pretending to be fine, to just meet Jungkook over a drink seems just as much of a lie. While you are sipping from your fancy cocktail at the bar, you're very much aware of Hoseok watching from a corner table hidden behind his laptop while Yoongi and Namjoon are watching from a hotel room booked under your name and a non-existent company you're supposed to work for. Hoseok made a good job at making it seem like it's valid, so if in any case Jungkook wanted like to check on you, he could and wouldn’t find anything off. Thorough, you doubt it will happen but Yoongi has always been a careful player.

According to his schedule Jungkook should have finished his meeting in a separate room five minutes ago and you're becoming reckless. Jimin shoots you a sympathetic smile from behind the counter where he switched places with one of the bartenders. You start overthinking everything, a bad habit of yours but at least you know about it. It happens when you start to doubt Yoongi's skills and plans. He rarely makes a mistake, so you're often wrong to doubt him but there are always exceptions to the rule. It was a too many variable equation to expect Jungkook catching a sight of you in the bar anyway. They might leave through a back door or god knows where. He might not even–

You stop in mid-thought, fingers stilling in the middle of playing on the counter in your annoyance when you see the conference room's door open and dozens of men in suits emerging. You immediately notice him, it's hard not to. He has grown up well during these past years and the suit looks good on him, you comment on it mentally as you watch him bow to all of his business partners. Momentarily you turn back to your drink and watch him walk in your direction through the mirror behind the alcoholic drinks’ vitrine. You put your glass down the counter, flash a smile at Jimin and then stand up turning as if you were just about to leave at the same moment your long lost acquaintance reaches your side.

“Oh. Jungkook?” You blink at him, mouth parting in slight surprise and both of you freeze in the middle of the bar, staring at each other.

Of course, you have seen pictures of him but it feels different now that he's really right there, parted hair falling into his chocolate eyes, shoulders tensed under the high-quality tuxedo. His right hand grabs something inside of his pockets just like he used to do with his totem. Some habit doesn't change apparently. But you know well that he doesn't have his totem, not anymore. You know it since it’s with you, kept in one of the secret lockers under your bed. That was the last thing you had from him, you found it after he ran away from the Omelas motel you stayed back then. He left out of grief or so you thought, but maybe it was actually guilt?

“Huh do you think you are dreaming?” you crack a smile at him, letting him know you noticed the tiny movement and there's something odd, nervous yet relieved in Jungkook's smile.

“There's a chance. I thought I would never see you again,” he admits, scratching the back of his nape and you wonder: was it hard for him to leave just like that? Like it was for you to leave the sinking ship like a coward?

Jungkook has always got easily attached to places, to people. Maybe that's why it was surprising in the first place that he disappeared like that without reasons, excuses and even without goodbyes.

“Would it be better if it was a dream?” you ask tentatively not wanting to tear off the bandage from old wounds right away. Maybe he left because he didn't want to see you, any of you ever again, maybe he blamed and hated you. It has all crossed your mind before but the sad, lopsided smile he gives you tells otherwise.

“No, that would be cruel,” he mumbles stepping closer to you when somebody wants to pass by him and clearing his throat, he poses a straightforward, curious but absolutely reasonable question: “What are you doing in Shanghai?”

“I could ask you the same,” you shrug with a kind smile. You take out a name card from your purse and give it to him, hoping that alongside with the pantsuit you wear, it will be enough to convince him. “I'm here on a business trip.”

Jungkook stares at the card for a long moment, then looks up at you and smiles. This time, it's genuine.

“What a small world. I work in Shanghai for the time being and I just had a meeting here,” he explains and being the ever so romantic, you know he's probably thinking about the chances and how it was meant to be. He looks at you from under his lashes, almost shy which is endearing.

“Do you… maybe wanna grab a drink?” he asks and you should feel sorry for him, because his actions are so predictable it was actually calculated in the original plan to have him ask you for a drink. So your smile widens as everything goes according to the plan.

“I thought you wouldn't even ask!” you exclaim as Jungkook takes a seat on the stall next to you.

With a drink in your hands, it's surprisingly easy to make a small talk, to act like nothing ever happened. The neutral, not-too-personal questions like How's work? Do you like it? What about Shanghai? are easy to make up a lie for, it feels like you are strangers getting to know each other, tiptoeing around every serious topic. You act natural, paying attention, leaning closer while drinking your watered cocktails thanks to Jimin.

You know it very well that from one of the hotel rooms Yoongi is watching your little chit chat waiting for your signal to start the next phase. When Jungkook's phone suddenly rings in the middle of talking about places you should see here, you slightly jump and get a bit worried when you see the boy's concerned face. It definitely wasn’t part of the plan.

“Sorry I have to take this call,” he excuses himself and no matter how much an urgent call mess up your plan you tell him it's okay. It would be suspicious to say no.

While Jungkook answers the phone, turning his back to you, you fix the buzzing earpiece in your hair-covered ear.

“Track it down.” You hear Yoongi order Hoseok in the ear piece but the guy is already typing like crazy on the laptop a few tables away from you. You see him from the corner of the eye.

“I'm on it,” the hacker hisses and you all anxiously wait for the scans results. “It's a Chinese number from closeby but… That's weird. It's not in the database.”

And the Chinese government is said to know about everything. Then how?

“What are you up to, Jungkook?” Yoongi asks nobody in particular. For being the puppet master he sure feels out of control already. As he watches the live CCTV recordings intently, he feels himself slipping back into the past. When Jungkook apologizes for the short call as he turns back to you and you smile at him saying it's no problem, Yoongi hates you for it. He want to hate you because he can't tell if it's play pretend or genuine. In the meantime you have no idea how conflicted you make him feel even with your smallest gestures.

“I heard Yoongi is recruiting a new crew,” Jungkook speaks up suddenly, throwing in a new topic and you almost choke on your drink. Why he had to bring that up? And how does he know?

“Really?” you raise a brow as you regain your composure very subtly so you can play the nonchalant even further. “I had no idea. But let's not talk about Yoongi.”

Jungkook seems taken aback, his fingers still on the edge of his empty whiskey glass.

“You guys are not together anymore?”

You shake your head and look away, gaze fixed on the counter, bitterness crawling up its way in your throat. At least that much is true. To be honest, you have never talk about your breakup with anyone, so it's weird that four years later Jungkook of all people is the first.

“After what happened to Jin, everything went to shit. I haven't seen him since,” you add and it's a lie but Jungkook believes it all.

He lets out a quiet oh sound not knowing what to say. That's when you decide to signal to Jimin, tucking a lock behind your ear when you lift your other hand to order another round.

“Let's drink to coincidences and old friends,” you say lifting your glass into the air when you get it. You flash a bright smile at the boy who isn't even that boyish anymore.

“Yeah, friends,” Jungkook mumbles and swallows down the drink in one go.

You watch him carefully as you set down your glass once you've taken a small sip of it. You ask him about some nonsense to act oblivious but you see him already losing focus, hand searching for something to grab as if he was dizzy.

“Hey, are you okay?” you lean closer, tone worried and just before Jungkook's body goes lump next to you, you see it: the apology in his deep brown eyes.

Then the next act begins as Hoseok gets up volunteering to help the 'pretty lady with her drunk friend’. You turn to Jimin and ask him to bring a jug of water into the room 304 then with Hoseok's help, the two of you carry Jungkook to the elevator where Namjoon waits for you. You must be a funny sight as the four of you makes sure to get Jungkook to the hotel room, exactly where you want him to be. Quickly and well-rehearsed you set up everything wordlessly and even you're surprised that it goes so smoothly. But maybe you shouldn't have doubted Yoongi.

“Okay, let's get it right. Hoseok will set the alarm at 60 minutes, that means we have 12 hours at the first level,” the man starts off the last discussion in medias res gathering everybody around the bed where Jungkook lies. You know it well it would be 20 times the original if you used strong sedative but after what happened to Jin Yoongi doesn't want to risk not being able to wake up in time. “The dream will look exactly like what we were doing just now because we want him to think it's still reality, he will let his guards down this way. We want him to wake up here thinking that he had a regular dream all along.”

And he will, because the brain always finds a logical connection between the dots even if it can't explain how. But it will only work if you don't get caught while messing with his head.

“Remember not let him reveal your faces during the knock-out, okay?” Namjoon adds reminding you of a crucial part of the plan and the others nod before settling down around the dream-sharing machine waiting for their turn. After sitting down in an armchair, you touch the head of the needle to the vein on the inside part of your elbow and take a deep breath.

Hoseok is the one left behind, guarding the room and responsible for the so-called 'kick', the final push you need to come back to reality at the same time before the dreams would collapse.

“Good luck,” he whispers, pushes a button and while he pierces a needle into Jungkook's skin, all of you do the same. In matter of seconds you feel your eyelids getting heavy and then you slip into Jimin's dream.

“... and then I asked him– Jungkook? Are you listening?”

“Ah, sorry, I kinda zoomed out for a moment. Can you tell me again?” Jungkook blinks, suddenly not knowing where he is. It's a side effect of dreaming that when you're thrown into the middle of it your brain has to pierce the pieces back together. You smile at him kindly, putting your hand on top of his to soothe his uneasiness and squeeze lightly. The suspicion that flashed in his eyes a moment ago disappears into thin air, so you let go to grab your drink.

“So I was saying...”

And you're telling a story about half-true, half-fake events, laughing along and drinking as if there's no tomorrow. Jimin looks at you anxiously a few times, especially when you get too close to Jungkook just to whisper something into his ear. But what can you tell? He makes it easy to be carefree, it's been a while since you had this much fun even if it's not real.

When the call happens again, you freeze for a moment looking at Jimin for help but he subtly shakes his head saying it's not his doing. Which means Jungkook gained his control in the dream too. His subconscious probably remembers the call vividly, that's why the call repeats itself. You know it well that if it was his dream, whoever he's calling would be in the dream too. Jungkook has always been a very visualistic person, so what if his mind creates the person now too? What if the caller is one of the projections in the lobby?

You look around frantically, eyes searching for anyone who has a phone by their ears but you can't seem to find the right one. Not until your gaze settles on the table that was occupied by Hoseok in reality. Now it should be empty, Jimin's mind definitely wouldn't fill it with a fake Hoseok. But there's somebody there, a man in worn clothes, baseball cap on his head and a telephone by his ear. From this angle you don't see his face clearly but he wears those silly, Harry Potter-like glasses Taehyung used to be fond of those before he went missing not long after Jungkook.

“No, that can't be,” you whisper, standing up without thinking and you see a few projections head snapping towards you immediately.

“Is everything okay?” Jungkook turns to you, worry splitting his handsome face as he puts his phone away.

“Yeah, yeah, it's just that I suddenly remembered I have an early meeting tomorrow,” you tell him and at least that excuse is part of the original plan, too.

“Oh right. Sorry that I kept you for so long,” Jungkook apologizes sheepishly right away and checks the time on his watch. He stares at it a moment too long but there's nothing extraordinary in his eyes when he looks at you and he has always been a terrible liar (at least you thought). “I didn't realize time passed this fast.”

“I didn't either, I really enjoyed catching up with you. I wish we kept in touch all these years,” you smile at him and he ducks his head down at that, eyes unable to meet yours.

“Sorry about that too. It wasn't fair to you. All of you,” he whispers sounding guilty which surprises you more than anything. What if you don't even need the second dream at all because he will confess?

“Ah no, don't be. I'm sure you had your reasons, just like I had my own when I left Yoongi,” you blurt out totally unplanned and the look Jungkook gives you suddenly makes you shy. You clear your throat eyes catching on the mysterious figure standing up and leaving the bar. “Let me wait for the cab with you.”

“Okay,” Jungkook nods still a bit dazed, wondering, eyes holding million questions. He puts money on the counter and both of you walk out followed by the projections’ stare.

It's a chilly night waiting outside and watching the fast cars go by as silence envelops you. Even though you lost the glasses guy out of sight you lowkey hope someone of the team followed him. You can't be the only one who noticed him.

Then finally a taxi pulls up in front of you and you know the next phase of the mission should start soon. But Jungkook, of course he has to be unpredictable now of all times.

“Can I… Can I get that name card of yours?” He blurts out and you smile at him playfully just to tease.

“Why do you need that?”

“To keep in touch,” he replies tentatively; it almost sounds like a question as if he wasn't sure it's the right answer. You chuckle lightly and plunge a card out of your purse.

“Don't lose it,” you warn him knowing well that when he will wake up he will search for the card but it will be nowhere and he will regretfully remember you telling him this.

“I won't,” he makes a promise he can't possible keep but he doesn't know that. If you look beyond the possibility of him being a murderer, he's a great guy. In another life you would have definitely given him a chance but in this one, everything with him would have reminded you of Yoongi and the team and what you all lost.

“Good night, Jungkook,” you whisper as you press a soft kiss onto his cheek and watch him get in the taxi. You lift your right hand for a wave when suddenly you see horror flashing in Jungkook's eyes before the world goes dark. There's a linen sack over your head and firm hands grab on your waist pulling you backwards. You hear Jungkook calling your name, a few thuds and groans. You fight back weakly against your assaulters but you end up in an elevator with one of them nevertheless and Jungkook's name burns on your throat as you imagine him getting beaten up because of you.

(In the meantime, Hoseok anxiously walks up and down in the room, checking the ticking clock annoyingly often. Waiting is more nerve-wrecking that he originally thought so. Even more so when somebody knocks on the door and a deep male voice claims that he's part of the cleaning service. Hoseok gulps and looks at the half dozen people sleeping in the room. What would they say? He can't let anyone in.

“I… I don't need cleaning.”

“Then sir you should have put out the sign. Sorry for the intrusion. Goodbye,” the male replies right away then walks away based on his footsteps. Hoseok sighs in relief and searches for the Do not disturb! sign to hang it out. He waits a minute to be sure, checks the hallway through the CCTV and opens the door. As soon as he puts his hand out, a guy jumps out of the camera's blind spot and pushes him to the wall by grabbing his collar with two hand. His messy honey-coloured hair hangs low into his eyes and the round glasses he wears. The door closes with a thud behind him.

“Never trust the cleaning staff,” he smirks wickedly.”)

As the elevator dings on the third level, the grip on your wrist loosens and the sack is out of your face.

“You ok, Shorty?” Namjoon asks worried as always and you smile at him through the mirror while trying to fix your messy hair.

“I'm good. Do you think he bought the play?” you look at up him curiously. You haven't seen the action part itself so you can't really tell if Jungkook got suspicious when the 'kidnappers' appeared out of blue to take you.

“We will see soon,” the chemist shrugs but he's not telling the act off, so he's hoping in success too. It's funny that you both knew Jungkook back then or at least you thought you knew and now neither of you dares to guess the outcome.

In room 304, while your wait for the others, the two of you set the dream-sharing machine up. Namjoon measures the doses strictly and you're in the middle of throwing your shoes off for better sleeping position when the guys not so elegantly almost break through the door still in their ski masks, carrying the unconscious Jungkook. Jimin practically throws him onto the bed after Yoongi lets go and he has to bear all the weight. Because as soon as Yoongi throws his mask off, he strides to you with anger clear and vivid on his pale features.

“What the fuck was that?” he yells at with you flames in his dark eyes almost as if you just killed someone.

“What?” you blink at him confused. You don't get what's his problem when everything worked out fine. You didn't even follow that man in glasses. But apparently Yoongi isn't mad because of that.

“You were flirting with him!” he bellows and you let out a huff.

“And what? You wanted a friendly chit-chat? Well sorry, I went with the flow. It’s called improvising, Yoongi, something you should learn with that strategist mind that can’t adapt to changes.”

Yoongi glares back at you with eyes deep as a water well and dark as night. You can't seem to find answers in them. What exactly is his problem?

“That wasn't what we agreed on,” he says in a more civilized manner but his voice still has a critizeing edge to it. You sigh. You had a faint guess this would happen because no matter how much he tries to keep his emotions at bay, to keep them deep down without letting them surfacing, they tend to consume him from the inside. He has been a glass waiting to be filled to the lid and overspill when it becomes too much.

“You promised me that what happened to us won’t affect the work,” you remind him in a voice colder than intended but he should know best that in dreamland it can be extremely dangerous if you lose control over your feelings.

“I fucking lied, ok?” he lashes out at that and then blurts out a confession he probably didn’t want you to know. “I never stopped loving you.”

Silence falls on you. Nobody dares to move or make any noise. You hate this melodrama that unfolds, so you suck in a short inhale and react on impulse heated by anger.

“Then deal with it!” you snap at him and take a deep breathe before adding: “Don't worry, I won't start kissing him in Jin’s form in the deeper level, so just concentrate on not letting dream me kill all of us!”

And with that you leave them there and shut the bathroom door behind you. You still hear Jimin ask in a small voice:

“What is she talking about?”

You are not sure how much time you spend in the bathroom trying to fix your breathing and calm down your betrayal heart before hearing the knock on the door. You're about to tell Yoongi to go to Hell and leave you alone because the dream won't collapse from waiting a few more minutes but it's not him who speaks up.

“Hey, it's Joon. Can I come in?” Namjoon asks in a gentle, understanding voice, so you get up from the bathtub edge and open the door for him. Behind the threshold there he stands looking guilty as if the mess happening was somehow his fault.

“Yeah. Sorry about that. It was just a lot suddenly.”

You step out of the way, so he can actually step into the room and close the door behind himself.

“I get it. But you know how Yoongi gets when it's about the ones he loves. He becomes reckless and illogical,” he says and you know it all. You know you went a bit overboard with Jungkook. Not only you led him on but you knew that your ex was watching and still acted that way. still, you couldn't help it because it worked, you felt wanted and powerful with every smile you get or gave. If you were honest, you'd have admitted: you wanted Yoongi to be jealous, to feel sorry for what he lost, to feel bad for not stopping you from leaving.

“Did you know that in his dreams I kill him?” You look Namjoon in the eyes with your voice trembling. It's still surreal to you but the guy doesn't seem too surprised.

“Yes,” he nods sadness washing over his face. Of course he knows, he's Yoongi's best friend and secrets’ keeper after all.

“I love him, Joon, I love him still,” you confess burying your face in your hands. You wanted to hide it, you wanted to keep your feelings under a seal. You swore he would never know about it. It would be just one job anyway, you told yourself but it's already so much more than just one job. It's crazy how at home you feel here with this team miles away from anything physical that you could call yours. “He has no idea how hard it was to leave him. I just couldn't handle that loss and seeing the team fall apart. He deserves someone better.”

“But he doesn't want better. He wants you.” Namjoon pats your back in a comforting but slightly awkward way and you feel like he's the big brother you never had.

“Are you better?” he asks after a few minutes of listening to your breathing getting calmer. You nod while checking in the mirror whether you messed up your mascara with the unshed tears or not. Namjoon's reflection flashes you a grin. “Good, then get out because I need to piss.”

You laugh and shoot him a grateful smile before stepping out of the bathroom. You're afraid a bit of bumping into Yoongi out there and being left alone with him but he's nowhere in sight. It's Jimin who stands by the bed alone, checking the time on his watch and on the machine.

“What happened? With Jungkook after I left?” You speak up clearing your throat trying to sound as natural as you can as if nothing happened. Jimin turns to you with eyes a bit unsure, holding dozens of questions in them but he tries his best and answers yours first.

“He kept trying to fight us off and was willing to pay in order for you to not get hurt. Yoongi got pretty pissed at that and punched him. While he staggered I gave him in injection, he probably didn't even felt it because of the adrenaline,” he recites the recent events as he induces the needle into the sleeping Jungkook's bloodstream. The boy stirs slightly but continues sleeping.

You all agreed beforehand that action-filled dreams are usually produced after situations involving high adrenaline level, so you just provided him the best proper setting to make it seem believable he would dream about that fateful day while being knocked out.

“Then everything went according to the plan. Cool,” you nod relieved and settle down on the sofa in a comfortable position. Just as you soothe down your skirt, Yoongi opens the door and steps into the living room. Not too much later Namjoon steps out of the bathroom and you all get ready for the second level of dream.

“Okay, we still have time. You have almost five days,” Jimin reminds you after checking the exact time again. He's the point man for this level, he will remain here and wake you up when it's time.

“Let's find out what happened to Jin,” Joon claps his hands and gets seated as well. There's only room next to you for Yoongi but you don't make a big deal out of it as you pull your knees closer to yourself making him space. No matter how awkward it is, you will have to act like decent human beings.

You look around, gaze lingering a tad bit long on the unconscious Jungkook before looking at the guys next to you. It's just you, Yoongi and Namjoon now. With Jungkook, it's the 4/6 of the original team. The nostalgia hits you strong and anxiety bubbles up inside of you because you know that this time it will be Yoongi's dream and you will die as Jin no matter what. Still, you don't let fear take control as Jimin pushes the button and you close your eyes.

(“Kim Taehyung. Forger. Ex-member of Yoongi's team. What do you want?” Hoseok throws the boy off himself knowing him well from the files he gathered about the old mission. But unlike Jungkook Taehyung hid his traces well, according to the latest database that had his info, he was supposed to be working with a charity company in Indonesia. But then what was he doing here?

The boy in glasses doesn't seem surprised that he has been recognized, instead of panic his face turns to stone cold and still.

“Wake them up. We will get company soon,” he says and Hoseok barely has time to catch his wrist before he could shut off the machine in the middle of the simulation.)

You're on a train of gold and glitter, you flex the tuxedo you wear. It's slightly uncomfortable but Jin would have never complained about it. You are chatting at the bar with faceless people about nonsense when you see her, yourself walking through the cabin's door in a dress Yoongi liked and with a cheerful smile. That's fake, you can tell that much but you will probably never get used to seeing yourself from the outside like this.

She tells you about the man who wants to see Jin and you already know what's next: Jin will meet the businessman who had been your target back then. You play his rule, exchanging glances with Namjoon who serves your drinks but there's nothing off with the businessman, nor with the projections. Everything seems normal for now and it makes you wonder: what if you were supposed to be in Jungkook's head instead of Yoong's all along? Would it matter?

You once asked what decides whose dream it will be. Originally you thought it always should be the target's mind but Yoongi shook his head.

“It depends on what you need. You know when you dream you're faintly aware of everything, so if that's what you want, it should be your dream. If you plant the seed of an idea then it has to be theirs. But if you're good enough and aware of dreaming then it doesn't really matter,” he said and you know he wouldn't make such a big mistake after so much planning. So you trust him and go along with the dream's flow.

Time pass weirdly and you get a few strange looks from projections from time to time. It's almost like relief when you get to a cabin room alone. You watch the snow-covered scenery run by the Russian countryside and let yourself relax for a moment. It's familiar, nice and quiet. When the footsteps are coming you know well whose they have to be.

“Jin…” Jungkook speaks up in a faint voice and you only realize belatedly that he's talking to you. After four years of being yourself, it’s actually difficult to get used being treated as someone else.

“Hey Kook, what's up?” you look up at him pretending everything is fine but one glance at him is enough to tell that he knows very well it’s not fine at all. There's concern in his charcoal eyes and you gulp: will this be it? The fateful moment when everything goes wrong? It would make sense because during this time you, Yoongi and Namjoon were busy trying to get information out of the businessman, so it was already too late by the time you realized Jin was gone.

“Are you sure you wanna do this? Do we have to?” Jungkook asks worry dripping from his voice and you don't understand. What is he talking about? But Jin probably knew, so you keep on playing his role.

“Let's go along with the plan,” you nod firmly even though you have no idea what the plan is. Jungkook seemingly does and you hope he would share it with you but it’s too late when you realize that exactly that is the problem.

“Sorry, Jin. It will hurt a little,” he says and pulls out a gun so fast you have no chance to react. You have absolutely no time to get ready for the pain that the bullet induces in your body tearing the flesh. It only hurts for a moment though since Jungkook's aim was deadly. Where did he learn that? You wonder faintly but the darkness overcomes you before you can find an answer. The last thing you see is the flash of realization in the boy’s dark, almond eyes as your smile falls.

You wake up in the hotel room gasping for air and tears you didn't even notice running down your face. You only realize Jimin has been calling your name when he touches your shoulder steadying your trembling body.

“It was fast. What happened? Did you get to know anything?” he asks and you look up through your tears, vision hazy.

“It was him all along. It wasn't the target or projections that shot Jin in the dream, it was Jungkook,” you explain and only now that the truth is out you realize how much you didn't want it to be true. That you were almost calm because you hoped Jungkook didn't do anything bad and that Yoongi was wrong. Apparently, he isn't.

Jungkook knew that for that massive mission you all took strong sedative, so he was also aware that Jin waking up so early on without actually being able to could mess up his health. But what did he mean by plan? It seemed like Jin and him knew something neither of you did.

“Help me get him into the bathroom and lock us in there. He will soon figure out he's dreaming and he will wake himself up. Let's make it look like we both were kidnapped,” you get yourself together and turn to Jimin. He nods and the two of you get to work.

[Jungkook doesn’t even stop to look back, he runs. He runs as if he was being chased, he passes by the empty seats in the dim light until he’s at the wagon’s door tearing it open. The cold outside bites into his skin and he turns around his axis looking around, staring at the Omelas sign in front of him. It brings back memories of secret late night talks and bitter laughs. Memories of sneaking out and accidentally seeing you and Yoongi kissing. Memories of being hurt and lovesick. Yet, he doesn’t hesitate to open the door because there’s an unexplainable force moving him ahead. The next wagon is darker than he remembers but the wind is the same, it moves the curtains because each window is open. Night has fallen since. He goes for the next door searching for something, anything. He isn’t sure what but he hopes he can find it soon as the faint sound of machines spinning follows him from the laundry room. To where? This corridor seems to lead nowhere. He runs ahead searching for answers and then he abruptly stops when a train crosses his path. It rushes along, its wind messing up his hair while the sight messing up his heart.

He’s just seen himself on the train.

And that’s when it all clicks.

When one dreams everything seems smooth and logical until they wake up or notice that something is off. How did he get there? He didn’t care no matter how unrealistic his journey was, it all drowns on him now. It's a dream. Of course it is. These are memories. He lifts the gun in his hand and turns the barrel of it against his temple. He needs to wake up.

“Not so fast, traitor,” comes a voice from behind him and with a thud the pistol falls from his hands.]

You look into the mirror forging some changes on your face like split lips and a purple bruise under your eyes. It looks like alongside with your messy hair as if they were rough with you too. Then Jimin ties you up by the wrists like he did to Jungkook too and locks the door on you. Nibbling on your lip you can only pray Yoongi was right about that too that Jungkook would never hurt you.

[“Yoongi,” Jungkook nods towards the guy as he turns around and glances at the gun on the floor. “I should have known it's you. What the hell are you doing?” he crosses his arms in front of him, raising a brow at the strategist knowing it must be his plan, his dream.

“What does it look like? I try to figure out what the fuck happened because you disappeared even before I could ask.” The elder steps closer while kicking the gun behind him, so Jungkook can't disappear now. It's finally time for confrontation. Let's play with open cards. “You killed Jin. Knowing about the strong sedative.”

Jungkook grits his teeth, looking away like a sulky kid. “You have no idea what you're talking about.”

Yoongi scoffs at his protest. He just saw. Neither of you had seen him but he was on the train’s corridor clearly seeing as Jungkook pulled the trigger and then ran.

“Then explain it to me,”he pleads instead of correcting him and Jungkook actually looks conflicted. As if he was considering telling him the truth after all these years.

But right then dream you walks into the room in all her glory, eyes kind yet dangerous. This you, the you living in Yoongi’s mind is unpredictable just like you are to him. But this you is also a nightmare, nothing like you and if he wants to be honest Yoongi hates to see you like this, almighty and dressed in glitter. All these years reminiscing that night, seeing you like this in his dreams he wanted to hate this self of you, but this part of you at least stayed with him, so he couldn’t.

“There you are boys,” she singsongs and smiles at them. If you were there you'd wanna hit yourself, that old naive self not reading the situation quite right. But the guys don’t do anything.

“Oh fuck not right now,” Yoongi sighs frustrated already. He doesn’t have patience for this now.

On the other hand, Jungkook is more confused than ever.

“Is she…” he blinks at the girl not sure how to finish that sentence but Yoongi beats him to it.

“She's a projection of my mine,” he shoos him and turns to her. “Hear that? You're not real!”

“How can you say that?” She gasps and takes the gun from the floor aiming at Yoongi with trembling hands and tears in her eyes.

When she sends the bullet flying, Jungkook jumps in the way. His body jerks at the impact of getting shot but he grabs onto Yoongi’s collars as he falls forwards.

“I have never betrayed Jin,” he says with his last breath and then disappears to bits.]

“Jungkook? Are you up?” you immediately turn to the boy when he jolts awake. He strains against his ties all in vain before looking at you. There's a slightly bruised area under his panicky eyes.

“Oh my god, what did they do to you? I will kill them!” his eyes widen as he notices your fake injuries. “What happened?”

You sigh heavily, keeping up the facade and your hair falls into your face as your head falls ahead.

“They were suddenly asking question about Jin but I told them I have no idea what they are talking about. Why would I know? It’s been years and I had no idea about his debt.” You’re improvising, making up your line (lies) all along but according to Jungkook’s face you’re doing it well.

“Shit,” he curses and bites into his lower lip. A bad habit, a sign saying a lot about his feelings.

“You knew about it?”

“Yeah, I…” Jungkook groans, feeling helpless and wanting to hit something. You can see anger boiling up inside him. But the shock is more prominent and the way it spreads fear in his veins like poison. The sigh that falls from his mouth is almost like giving up. “We thought they would give up.”

“We?” you question while furrowing your brows and Jungkook looks alarmed. He stares at the bathroom door for a moment, listening to the muffled talking from outside.

“You should have never gotten know this in order to keep you safe but it doesn't matter anymore I guess,” he shakes his head, looking away but once he starts speaking his words flow like an unstoppable river. “Long story short: remember that I asked Jin if he knew anything about my parents’ death? He asked around, got involved with these guys and they wanted to kill him to cover their traces because he found out something he shouldn’t have, so I helped him fake his death.”

“Fake his death? But the doctor…” You gape at the boy not quite believing that you heard it right. You must be imagining things. You want Jin to be alive so bad, especially after being in his skin that you start hearing things.

“Taehyung forged himself into one,” Jungkook explains with no sign of any cruel joke on his face and you gulp nervously.

“He was in it too? So is Jin alive? For real?” you gasp nails digging into the flesh of your palms.

“Yeah, I…”

You don’t get to know what Jungkook wanted to say with those gentle eyes because suddenly the bathtub and the sink taps turn on filling the space with water faster than humanly possible. The room tilts and whole world seems to crumble together, slipping from under your feet. You fall and fall in the dark as you gain back your conscience.

Opening your eyes the first thing you see is Taehyung and Hoseok with an empty bucket in their hands each and a drenched Jimin. There are different kind of natural kickbacks, splashing water into the face is an effective one but Yoongi’s favourite method is gravity. Because when your body feels out of balance it will try to automatically correct it and then the concentration on the dreams fails.

“What’s the trick?” you asked Yoongi when you first shared a dream. You played around on the rooftop looking around in a city you have only seen in movies and well, in dreams. The lights and stars, all of it was magical. But in the middle of it all was a very peculiar young man with a shy smile on his face and his hands in his pockets.

“To what?” he quirked a brow stepping closer to you.

“To falling,” you smiled remembering his words about waking up as you stood by the edge of a building. Under you there was only endless darkness.

“You have to let it happen,” Yoongi shrugged but it was easy for him to say this, he was already a pro while you were a rookie in this dream business. You still had your doubts.

“But what if it’s real? Isn’t it too risky?”

“That’s what your totem is for,” the boy reminded you, pointing at the medal hanging on the chain around your neck and then he flashed you one of his rare, famous gummy smiles as he teasingly added: “And don’t worry. In reality, I will catch you when you fall.”

“Eww cheesy,” you giggled but couldn’t help the blush working its way onto your cheek as you stepped over the fence ready to go home after this amazing afternoon spent in dream land. But before you could let go, before you could let yourself fall, there was a hand around your wrist and Yoongi yanked you back. He pulled you close to him until he had his hand on your neck. Then his mouth on yours was warm and gentle, slightly chapped but still so sweet. A perfect, dreamy kiss.

It all started in a dream, maybe it was supposed to end like dreams too: all of a sudden and in the middle.

Chaos erupts in the hotel room. Nobody understands what the hell is going on. You catch Jungkook's gaze on you for a moment before he looks away, betrayed.

“Jungkook, I…” You step towards him wanting to apologize for leading him on even though he did the same thing back then, so you should be on one page now.

“I should have known. When Jin called me to warn me that Yoongi was in town I should have known that you being here cannot be a coincidence,” he interrupts you, tone flat and hurt. “Was it all a lie?”

You remember the phone call and you remember his question right after, so you look down knowing that your answer to that was indeed a lie.

“No, of course not everything. I've missed you,” you confess and then look around in the room full of old and new faces. It's nostalgic: the rush of adrenaline, the heaviness of dream on your chest and the picture of Yoongi arguing with Taehyung. “I've missed all of you.”

“But you missed him more,” Jungkook says, it's not even a question as he follows your gaze and you don't want to lie to that. Yeah, you did yearn for Yoongi's presence more and look where it brought you. You don't even know where you stand now after his outburst.

“Get up, idiots. I didn't come to save your lazy asses for you to ruin it. We need to leave,” Tae walks over to the two of you and snaps at you and Jungkook with slight humour in his voice.

“Taehyung, what the...” Jungkook stumbles to his feet confused about being dragged around.

“Sorry, we don’t have time for catching up right now. Later I will tell you everything, I promise. But if I could track you all down, they probably already did, too. We need to get out of here. He’s waiting for us,” the boy explains hastily and the question everybody is thinking of is out in Yoongi's sharp voice:

“Who?”

Taehyung’s smile is mischievous as always.

“Jin,” he replies and you all follow him without further questions.

The ride in the minivan is quite and tensed. You all have a lot to talk about. You sit next to Namjoon who glances at you with worry from time to time while you stare out of the window watching the Shanghai nightlife unfold before your eyes. Yoongi has always taken you to places you've never been before. Now you see him being tensed because the events aren't under his control and he probably feels helpless.

Taehyung occasionally drops a few info about where you're heading while driving. Only that much so you could gather that it's out of town, a bit secluded area because Jin likes to be himself most of the time. It's already been an hour when you stop by a fast food restaurant on the highway because Tae needs to piss and Hobi is hungry for fries. They ask you if you need anything else and almost all of you requests coffee. A few of you get out of the car for fresh air and you finally get Yoongi alone by one of benches by the petrol station.

You sit down next to him, trying to recollect your thoughts to figure out what to say. Because it's what you own to both of you. Still, it's a lot to take in, that the reason why you all fell apart was a made up lie to keep you safe.

“I'm sorry,” you blurt out after a minute of silence. You can't look at him even if you see him from the periphery of your vision whipping his head toward you. You don't want to see the troubles in his eyes while you hurriedly let out everything that you kept locked up all these years: “I'm sorry for leaving you just like that back then. But after what happened with Jin, or what we thought happened I was at a bad place mentally. I was so afraid you would leave me if you saw me like that so I left instead. I made you the villain of the story and blamed you for everything while trying to justify why I did it if I still loved you.”

There's a sharp intake on your part and a heart much lighter than before. But you clear your throat not wanting to pressure Yoongi into anything, so looking at him you rush to reassure him that you have no expectations.

“You don't have to say anything, I just wanted to tell yo–”

“Do you wanna know what kept dream you from killing me?” Yoongi asks suddenly, cutting into your excuse as if he didn't want to hear that. But his question makes you genuinely curious.

“What?”

“That I told her I love you,” he says while looking straight into your eyes, words like loving arrows aiming at your heart. But oh he's stolen that long ago. Yet, he still seems a bit nervous as he explains. “That's probably what I've regretted the most. That I haven't told you that.”

He really didn't but you didn't either. With not labelling your relationship came the uncertainty of limits and love seemed like a too big word back then. But now it doesn't scare you anymore.

“Tell me now. Tell me again,” you ask (plead to) him gently and he doesn't even hesitate, not even for a second.

“I love you,” he tells you looking deep in your eyes and you grab on your necklace out of instinct. It's light as feathers just as your heart after giving out everything. His confession makes you smile, wider than ever.

“I love you, too,” you tell him with a shy smile and you know you have to work on a lot like talking openly about burdens and fears and trust but for now having him beside you is enough. It should be enough.

“Okay, lovebirds, get back in the car,” Taehyung hollers reminding you of reality, bursting your idealistic little bubble out. You chuckle lightly and grab on Yoongi's hand to hold while walking back to the minivan. He doesn't even look at you but squeezes your hand back, so you know he'll always have your back.

And a love like this is better than any dream.

#bangtan bookclub #btswriters #sfwbangtan #bts angst #yoongi angst #yoongi x reader #suga angst #suga x reader #yoongi fanfic #suga fanfic #bts fanfic #inception au #stories

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restlessmaknae · 6 years

Text

Those damn smirks

Part III of my series called That damn thing we call love.

Part 1 :: Those damn boots :: Boy meets that damn thing we call love.

Part 2 :: Those damn lies :: Boy meets that damn thing we call heartbreak.

Part 3 :: Those damn smirks :: Boy meets that damn thing we call second chance.

Part 4 :: Those damn words :: Boy meets that damn thing we call confession.

Genre: fluff, comedy, slice of life, a bit of angst

Setting: high school!AU

Words: 10.6k

Main Characters: Jeon Jungkook x OC

It was an exceptionally beautiful August with the sound of cheerful birds singing on top of trees and golden rays of sunshine painting the mackerel sky.

As far as Korean students were concerned, the school year had already started despite the beautiful weather and the effort to spend outside as much time as they could. Miyeon was also pouting sadly, looking up at the picturesque sky dotted with tiny cirrocumulus clouds while listening to Taeyeon’s enthusiastic chattering about her attempt to taste the well-known Peking duck.

They were walking side by side after taking the same bus, recalling those good old days before Taeyeon had left to China. Now, her student exchange program had come to an end and she was back again to start the new school year with Miyeon. Well, with one little twist; she was attending the junior’s classes because her mother insisted on repeating the grade as her Chinese trip was just a once in a lifetime cultural experience and not an educational course. As a result, they weren’t in the same year, so Miyeon would have to take the CSAT one year earlier than her best friend.

“Believe me, that guy is seriously way too gentle to be real,” her best friend stated with awe and shifted her attention to the girl walking beside her. Taeyeon suspiciously raised an eyebrow in question, making her doubt clear. Miyeon blushed ashamedly as she realized that she was totally lost in thought and tried to puzzle up the words she had said. “You have no idea who I was talking about,” she went on and her lips slowly curved into a teasing smile. Her chocolate brown eyes were filled with playfulness and sparkled like two little diamonds. That was what she had missed the most; when she was way too happy and couldn’t suppress her beautiful, angel-like smile. That girl was seriously too beaming to live in this degenerate world.

“Well, not really,” Miyeon admitted, nibbling her lips and cautiously shot her a timid smile. Taeyeon couldn’t hold herself back anymore, she immediately burst into laughter.

“Alright, I was talking about Mark, our new exchange student, but who cares about him when your favourite boy is coming just our way,” she started in a mocking tone which immediately turned into the typical ‘I exactly know what’s going on’ Taeyeon tone. She nudged her and pointed to a bunch of boys who were walking towards the school’s entrance door. They were chattering loudly and joyfully, sometimes bumped their fists together or slightly hustled each other but totally ignored everyone around them, they were just having fun.

Unfortunately, Taeyeon chose time moment to leave her alone because she noticed Byun Baekhyun pushing the entrance door and hastily ran after him. She watched as her silhouette faded away and let out a heavy sigh. She knew that there was a lot for the two to talk about but she really had to disappear at such an unfortunate timing?

She understood her because the couple had lots of quarrels regarding Taeyeon’s student exchange program which she signed before she got closer to him. Yet, they still got together and she still insisted on going to China. They had a serious fight on the day of her departure and didn’t even talk until she got back a week ago. Now, everything was a little bit awkward and confusing for them but it was obvious that they still liked each other. Plus, they had a lot of time to puzzle out their feelings and spend more time together as they were classmates from that year because lucky Byun Baekhyun was one year younger than her. Not to mention that he was one of Chanyeol’s best friends.

Marching on alone, the encounter was inevitable. It must have been fate but Miyeon and the squad reached the entrance door at the same time, thus they had to decide who would go first. It was a little bit embarrassing as the boys’ conversation suddenly stopped and it was followed by an awkward pause. Miyeon caught sight of the subtly smiling Jungkook and felt her face turning red. He got even more attractive during the summer break and looked manlier than ever. Nonetheless, when he shot his typical bunny smile and his cute cheekbones exploded, he was the same old Jungkook who she was so fond of. Not that she didn’t like him waggling his eyebrows or giving a smug smirk directed at her but she fell in love with that innocent-looking Jungkook who looked at her so dearly when they spent their birthday together a year ago.

“Miyeon-ah, so good to see you!” exclaimed Taehyung, grinning from ear to ear and subconsciously hugged her. It was a rather clumsy but affectionate hug but she was so startled to get such a warm welcoming that she could hardly speak.

“Good to see you, too, Taehyung,” she patted his back and waited for him to let her go. She noticed Jungkook gulping a little bit too edgily but shook off the thought right away.

“Please, Taehyung, just let her go unless you don’t want this poor girl to suffocate!” Hoseok joined in, rolling his eyes in disbelief but one of his trademark grins was forming on his lips. He looked exactly the same with his obsidian-black, slightly curly hair, smiling eyes and sloppy jeans. He was still good-looking but couldn’t defeat Seokjin who had probably got a new haircut because his hair looked a little bit shorter and it was just as neatly-cut as he had come from the hairdresser’s.

It came as no surprise that Yoongi now changed his hair colour from bleached blonde to mysterious grey but it actually suited him. Jimin was no longer the redhead but opt for the natural look with fluffy, brown curls which actually looked better than anything else before. There was no change in Namjoon’s hair colour or behaviour, he kindly waved at her direction but cautiously glanced at Taehyung who finally let her go.

Lastly, she couldn’t forget about the seventh boy who was coyly smiling at her, his jet-black eyes shining like attractive black little holes while his intense stare seemed to pierce into her soul. Oh boy, was he even aware of the fact that he was so appealing that it was almost illegal? He was like an addiction, a drug or the most dangerous sickness of all times; as you were spending time with him, you impulsively wanted more and more.

“It’s been such a long time since we last saw you,” Jimin ran his hand through his chocolate brown hair while the others nodded in agreement. “What have you been up to?” he asked and the curiosity in his voice didn’t go unnoticed. Everyone else also stared at her with their eyes wide open and shining with fondness. Miyeon couldn’t help but peeked a bit at Jungkook’s direction but immediately turned her face away when he shot her one of his typical smirks. That boy was unbelievable!

“Nothing much,” she shrugged but continued, noticing the boys’ disappointed glances. “Visiting my grandparents, reading a lot of mangas, watching animes and finishing an English course.”

“An English course?” Namjoon raised one of his eyebrows in question but after her confident nod, he flinched appreciatively. Hoseok was clapping heartily, Seokjin shook his head saying that she was way too good at everything, Jimin and Taehyung were grinning proudly as if they had finished the course themselves while Jungkook started at her open-mouthed. She wouldn’t think that it would be a jaw-dropping mark but for him, it seemed that it was.

“Maybe you should teach Jungkookie,” Taehyung blurted out with his totally innocent look which resulted in the golden maknae’s irritated grumble. The eldest immediately comforted him by saying:

“He’s not that bad.”

“I remember vividly that the first English sentence which I’ve heard from him was ‘I like you,’” Namjoon recalled the memory with a playful twinkle in his pitch-black eyes while the other guy’s cheeks suddenly flushed. He looked so embarrassed, exactly the opposite of the way too charming guy during dance practices. Miyeon giggled a bit but tried hard not to show her huge grin. She was having so much fun.

“Omo, what a cheeky boy!” Hoseok said, patting the youngest guy’s back and cheerfully guffawed. She looked at this almost ordinary situation and wondered how precious these guys were. They could never get offended at whatever the others said and even comforted each other during hardships. She almost forgot how much she liked the boys but whenever she almost did, they always showed up and reminded her that the feeling in her heart was still steady.

“I’m sure you’ll nail the CSAT,” Yoongi added rubbing his chin and suppressed a yawn. She felt delightful from the thought of him not even changing a bit because she liked the way he was. After his reassuring statement on the haters’ issue, she respected the boy even more and considered him as someone who she would go if she needed a piece of advice.

“Nah, don’t mention it on the first day of school, please,” she pouted sadly, thinking of the exams which felt closer than ever but still a little bit further at the same time. She always got goose bumps when she realised that it was her senior year. The last year with the class, the last year in high school and the last year with the boys. The last year with Jungkook.

“How about you? What’s up with you, guys?” she made an attempt to change the subject because she got nervous all of a sudden. However, the squad didn’t seem to mind her request and started sharing their stories about visiting relatives in Busan, trying out a new kimchi recipe, building a bird house, writing some poems which were published in a magazine or even making new choreographies. The golden maknae was characteristically quiet but proudly smiled at all his friends’ achievements.

Suddenly, someone cleared his throat and it turned out to be Jackson Wang who wanted to get to the entrance door but they were in the way. Of course, he teased them a bit as they bowed ashamedly and decided to continue chatting in the hallways but didn’t take the situation too seriously as he wasn’t that kind of guy. He even joined in and she soon found out that he was actually a quite talkative person.

“You guys are performing on the dance festival, right?” Jackson raised his eyebrows while looking mostly at Jungkook, Hoseok and Jimin. Miyeon knew that the three boys were at the same dance association, in the same team but never really saw them performing on a festival. She recalled the memories when the golden maknae let her watch some of their practices and made her even more speechless. That guy was exceptionally talented, small wonder why he wanted to be a dance teacher. He was a totally different person while dancing but she couldn’t mind it. He was charismatic, charming and undeniably sexy. Miyeon was surprised to see the change in his behaviour after coming up to her with his usual bunny smile and giving her a sweaty hug.

She shook her head to get away from the memory because now looking at him, it stung right at her heart. She had the chance to be her girlfriend but she was a coward and let him go. She didn’t deserve him but he still acted so affectionately!

“Yeah,” Hoseok responded with his joyful grin. “It’ll be our last performance, though. You know, before the exams,” he added with a little whimper and let out a weak sigh. Jungkook was staring far ahead, probably lost in thought and averted his eyes elsewhere but the others’ face.

“I can’t wait for it. I’m sure you’ll kill it!” Jackson threw his hands in the air in an excited manner which made the boys either bashfully smile or smugly grin.

“It would be hard to do better than you guys,” Jimin complimented immediately, making the blonde guy almost blush before he waved the idea away. Miyeon looked at them, totally confused and helplessly glanced at Jimin who was considerate enough to explain the whole situation. “Jackson and Jinyoung are also at the same association with us but in a different team. And these guys also have some killer moves, so we should practice harder in order not to get ashamed of our own performances.”

“Hmm,” that was all she could master, shifting her attention to the cheerfully giggling blonde one who she knew from school but never imagined that he would be capable of dancing. However, she believed Jimin and accepted the fact that he was pretty good.

“You know what?” Hoseok suddenly clapped his hands in excitement and made poor Kookie bounce in caution. Miyeon couldn’t suppress her chuckle, seeing the boy’s cute reaction. “If you have some free time, you can come and watch our performance. I’m sure you’ll have a great time,” he announced enthusiastically which immediately caused a huge combustion within the boys. They were all in favour of his idea and showed their approval of the plan, even Jackson assumed that she should come and see them. Miyeon listened to them, her heart thumping in bewilderment imagining the boys – and especially Jungkook – on stage, performing one of their incredible choreographies.

Nonetheless, she still cautiously waited for the golden maknae’s reaction who caught her staring at him and his lips slowly curved into a smile. His jet-black eyes were sparkling with beautiful blossoming flowers and shiny shooting stars. He nodded in agreement and although it was just a small sign, it was undeniably a small sign of love.

“I wouldn’t miss it for the world!” she exclaimed happily, making a mental note to herself to remember not to make any plans for the 27th of August when the performance would take place. The boys shared all the details and she couldn’t help but smiled like an idiot. Was it a chance for her to make things right? Or it was just a friendly invitation?

Whatever the case might be, she was sure that she would do anything to attend that festival.

▌▌

The following weeks flew by so quickly. She only realized that the dance festival’s day had come when she was staring at her figure in the mirror while trying out different outfits. As she was rummaging the clothes in her wardrobe, flashbacks and thoughts were scrambling in her head.

August was exceptionally quiet and peaceful as nothing extraordinary had happened. Her heart was finally at peace, knowing that her best friend made up with Baekhyun and was happier than ever. Plus, the squad slowly started acting just as naturally as they did before their break-up and it came as no surprise that they got along pretty well. She wouldn’t let herself believe that she deserves to be happy and surrounded by friends who would keep her company but they were good friends. Sometimes, they even accompanied her and Taeyeon at lunchtime, always making the other girl hysterically laugh who was getting used to the boys’ presence. Well, his boyfriend wasn’t happy about that but they spent pretty much every single second together, so lunchtime was only for the girls. And sometimes the squad’s, too but Taeyeon admitted that she didn’t mind having them around. She even acknowledged that it was impossible not to love them and suspiciously glanced at her, whenever Jungkook was around. She knew her well, so Miyeon didn’t even have to tell her everything; she had already become her relationship consultant.

“Ah, you two are so dense!” her best friend rolled her eyes in annoyance one time, after she saw her waving at the golden maknae’s direction who immediately gave her one of his cutest sheepish smiles. “You still love him and he obviously still loves you! I don’t see what the problem is!” she flung her arms in the air, childishly whining. Even though Taeyeon was in her shoes not too long ago, she acted like a real expert now. Miyeon just nudged her and let out a sorrowful sigh as she continued.

“I don’t want to hurt him, okay? I’ve already broken his heart once, I don’t want to cause more pain,” she nodded her head in great disapproval and tried to shift her attention to the floor of the school’s hallway and not her best friend’s face. She would easily read her and she didn’t want that. Both of them already knew that it hurt like hell to say things like that but this is how things worked for couples who broke up. They still carried their wounds and even if their own scars healed, they weren’t sure about the other party’s condition.

“And what’s with his confession?”

“What confession?” she blinked innocently, although there was one particular conversation which she couldn’t forget so easily. His words were still as soft as a fluffy blanket and covered her with their fondness and warmed her heart. She got goose bumps, every single time the flashback popped up in her mind and couldn’t shake off that hopeful thought that maybe, just maybe it might have meant something.

“Even stars lose their ways sometimes,” Taeyeon quoted with her sweet tone and it sounded so different this time. “So poetic, by the way.” she mumbled to herself, examining her nails, probably thinking how that Byun Baekhyun guy had never said such a thing.

“That was a long time ago,” she resisted, still trying to persuade herself that he probably didn’t mean it that way. It could have been a reassuring comment of a friend, he didn’t mention anything about love or ex-girlfriends.

“Alright, maybe,” she rolled her eyes in frustration and ran a hand through her blondish curls. “But if he didn’t like you, he wouldn’t invite you to the dance festival.”

“He didn’t invite me,” she added, tucking a loose strand of hair behind her right ear. She didn’t intend to be rude but wanted to make everything perfectly clear. Hoseok was the one who came up with the idea of her attending the festival and she was more than happy to give in. “One of his friends did.”

“But he didn’t protest,” Taeyeon pointed out and she knew that there was no point in disagreeing; she obviously lost the battle. She couldn’t deny that she was absolutely right. Jeon Jungkook wasn’t a toddler anymore; if he didn’t want her to be there, he would have said it. Yet, he didn’t.

Suddenly, there was a determinate knock on the door which made her bounce in surprise. As she was walking towards to open it, she made an attempt to snap out of her thoughts.

“Hey!” yelled Chanyeol with a joyful grin as she finally discovered who the owner of the knock was. “Have you seen my sketchbook? I literally can’t find it anywhere!” he tried to glance into her room and when she looked at her again, his eyes rounded and he let out a surprised squeal. “Oh, wow, where are you going? That dress isn’t something that you usually wear,” he commented, examining her from head to toe which made her blush so deep. He didn’t want to bump into her brother around the time of the festival because she didn’t want to explain the whole story. Why was she even going? Because her friends were there? Or it was all because of Jungkook? Well, she wasn’t even sure about her feelings, so she didn’t want to get tangled up in weird conversations.

“I’m going to a dance festival,” Miyeon answered after she had realised that there was no point in lying to him. His little brother just curiously raised his eyebrows in response and couldn’t suppress his teasing smile when he next started speaking.

“You’re going to see Jungkook, right?” he waggled his eyebrows and didn’t even budge when she slightly hit his shoulder, rather offended.

“I can wear dresses like that even if I don’t meet up with a boy,” she sniffed and gave him a frowning look. He couldn’t mope over her little act as he was having so much fun, seeing her Noona’s reaction out of defence. She was way too obvious.

“Hmm, I see what’s going on,” he rubbed his chin and acted like a total know-it-all. “He’s trying to get you back,” he cooed eagerly while twirling her around for a closer look. She was wearing a pretty, white dress with laces which was once a Christmas present from her granny but she never actually tried it on. Miyeon didn’t even think that there would be an occasion when she would wear it but this dress was the one that caught her attention while she was rummaging in her wardrobe.

“No!” she squealed huffily and shook her head in disagreement. From Chanyeol’s point of view, it was acceptable that he misunderstood the whole situation as he didn’t know that Hoseok was the one who invited her. He wasn’t the only one, though, who acted like that. Everyone seemed to misinterpret their case, even Taeyeon insisted that Jungkook wanted to get her back. Not like she would mind it but instead, she decided to wave the idea away. Why would he even do such a thing? “So, you say that it’s a bit too much?” she asked curiously, looking down at her dress and then up at his little brother. Oh, how she wished that she could wipe off that small smirk on his face.

“No, no, not at all,” he raised his arms in defeat and gave her an affectionate smile when he continued. “You look beautiful, Noona,” he stated in his usual, loving little brother tone and playfully ruffled her hair. His compliment made her heart leap and couldn’t even suppress the smile that crept onto her face. “Should I be worried?” he raised one of his eyebrows in question but her instincts told her that he didn’t even take his own question seriously. “Someone might attack you on the way to the dance festival, you know. Nowadays, there are several creepy freaks on the streets.”

“I can take care of myself,” she stated mildly and her confident response set him at ease. His shoulders loosened and his lips slowly raised into a grin. Miyeon suddenly pinched his cheeks, simply out of amusement but he didn’t seem to mind it. He just laughed at her while his warm, caramel-brown eyes formed happy, little crescents.

“Take care.”

“I will,” she nodded joyfully and waved at the boy who decided to go back to his own room.

Miyeon closed the door while her mind seemed to dwell on those sorrowful months when things were terrifyingly different. When Chanyeol wasn’t her lovely, little brother but almost a stranger who she couldn’t reach out to. Luckily, those weeks didn’t last forever as Baekhyun convinced Chanyeol that Dara was lying and Miyeon was right. He eavesdropped when Dara was once messing with her, blurting out that she didn’t even love the guy, she only needed him to hurt her. It was not until the weekend – the same weekend when Jungkook stayed in her house while Chanyeol was with his buddies – when the beagle line played “Truth or dare” that everything was revealed. After that, as soon as his little brother frantically got home, he bowed ashamedly and asked for her forgiveness. She was so startled that she couldn’t even say a thing. Instead, she let him embrace her while listening to his whispered sorrys.

That day changed everything and the two started acting like nothing had happened. After that weekend, Chanyeol even made a scene with Dara and told her off for lying. She didn’t see him being so furious for the time being but silently gloated at her victory. His brother’s movement resulted in the tranquillity of the following days and weeks. There was no more bullying, no more scoffing and no more rumours. Nothing.

Nonetheless, she wasn’t brave enough to consider making up with Jungkook. Not then, not when her scars hadn’t healed yet. But now, starting the new school year, boosting her self-esteem during the summer break, she knew that the time had come. She was pretty brave, or at least brave enough to give it a try.

▌▌

Everyone was buzzing around the stage of the Big Hit Dance Studio’s Autumn Dance Festival which was held outdoors. She excitedly bounced as she arrived but started to dread the sight of the huge crowd and tried to peek over people’s shoulders. She was craving for a familiar face and pouted sadly when she realised that it was almost a dead case. There were so many people, she suddenly felt so small and elegantly dressed compared to the hip-hop lover spectators who wore shabby trousers and colourful T-shirts.

All of a sudden, she felt a slight pat on her shoulder and when she turned her heel, she saw a familiar face, standing right in front of her.

“Oh, Seokjin, thank God!” she let out a relieved sigh and her face slowly dissolved into a half-smile. The handsome guy looked puzzled for a moment, not knowing why she was so grateful that he showed up but then, he gave one of his cutest proud grins.

“I know, right? Every single day, I thank God for my handsomeness−“ he started smugly but was cut off by an excited scream.

“You came!” Taehyung exclaimed, slightly shoving the elder guy who rolled his eyes but not in annoyance. Soon, Namjoon and Yoongi showed up behind the childishly giggling Taehyung who insisted that he had noticed her from several hundred meters and ran to welcome her as soon as possible. The other two guys were walking in their usual pace but got there on time when they started discussing Miyeon’s dress.

“You look pretty.”

“You’re literally stunning,” Taehyung joined in after Seokjin’s compliment that both made her face turn scarlet-red. She wasn’t used to such nice words because she was either wearing her school uniform or a pair of trousers with a nice T-shirt. The boys rarely see her without the uniform, small wonder why they were so dumbfounded.

“I hope Jungkookie won’t faint when he sees you,” Namjoon added, his eyes hinting at his amusement. She felt her cheeks flushing and her heart beating in bewilderment. Although she forced herself not to think of it, she blushed deeply at the thought of Jungkook seeing her like that. A weird kind of confidence had taken hold of her as she was wearing the pretty, white dress, knowing that the guys approved of her outfit. On the contrary, she almost regretted opting for a dress over an aesthetic blouse with jeans because it was quite windy and she would definitely have to stand there for a few more hours. It was already the end of August, a lovely Saturday afternoon and the dance festival was perfect for that day but maybe not for her outfit.

“When will they perform?” Miyeon inquired, her chocolate-brown eyes shining with curiosity.

“They’ll be the last to perform,” Yoongi responded with a bored yawn and averted his eyes to the stage where staff members had already started fidgeting. She let out a frustrated whine because she was on the edge; she wanted to see the boys’ performance as soon as possible. But that was her luck. Of course, they would be the last.

“Ah, I feel you,” Taehyung caught her disappointed flinch and patted her shoulder sympathetically. “I’m so excited to see what they’re coming up with. And honestly, I can’t wait to tease them if they make a mistake,” he added, mischievously waggling his eyebrows. Namjoon gave him a frowning look, Seokjin mildly smiled at his childish threat and Yoongi shook his head like he knew him too well and was totally aware of the fact that he wouldn’t do so.

“May I have your attention, please?” a husky, confident voice filled the air which resulted in the audience’s excited buzzing. Miyeon turned around to face the stage where a middle-aged man held a microphone with a stern look displaying on his face. As he started talking again, it turned out that he was Bang Si Hyuk, the founder of the Big Hit Dance Studios.

After his greeting, the dance festival officially started. The next one hour was filled with constant surprises and gummy hustle-bustle. She saw several jaw-dropping performances and didn’t even make an attempt to hide her awe. The dancers’ moves were always on point, so precise yet so passionate. They were beautifully elegant and mysteriously attractive at the same time. Everyone was exceptionally talented but she couldn’t shake off that lingering feeling as she only wished to see one particular performance. Her heart always missed a beat whenever the MC announced who would come next and felt a bitter kind of disappointment when he didn’t say the guys’ names.

Luckily, although she could barely notice one or two familiar faces on the stage, Taehyung and Seokjin always mentioned who was giving a performance.

“That guy is a genius. His name is Kwon Soonyoung and he dances so well. He’s like the leader of their hip-hop group but the others are also pretty good.”

“NCT is already the girls’ favourite, even though it’s their second festival so far.”

“Now, that is a killer combination. A roundoff backhandspring! Yah, Jackson knows how to do a good show.”

They were constantly talking without a pause and she tried to remember the names and groups and feedbacks but got lost after a few. So instead, she decided to let them talk and a genuine but ‘I don’t even know what’s happening here’ smile was evident on her face. Taehyung was in the middle of giving a summary about Jongin’s dance skills when the MC appeared on stage and announced the festival’s last performance. Miyeon felt her cheekbones exploding and her heart thumping, beating like a drum. Pleasant kind of chills ran down her spine, giving every of her cells a huge overdose of excitement.

Suddenly, the stage went dark and the spotlight was only shining on one person: Park Jimin. He was in an impressive, white shirt and showed his contemporary side through soft and precise moves. The song was a beautiful, slow melody with piano instrumental, small wonder why she got goose bumps right away. It was so enjoyable to just look at him but she couldn’t deny that she wanted to see someone else. After Jimin dropped to the floor and got up again, Hoseok and Jungkook also walked onto the stage and a funky, playful jazz song started playing. It was Hoseok’s turn to show what he was capable of and gosh, that guy was totally amazing! He danced so naturally and moved while grinning from ear to ear. Then, as expected, Jungkook came next and she realised only then that he was wearing a white suit with a white shirt and a black tie. He looked so damn attractive, she was the one who nearly fainted. She eyed him top to bottom, examining him as he enjoyed his stage. Without doubt, he was a completely different person while dancing than in real life. Just like any other times when she peeked his practices, he was so manly, confident and totally immersed into the moves, ignoring everything else around him.

If she thought that the first part of their performance almost gave her a heart attack, she could voluntarily die during the next one. She immediately knew the familiar song because whose mother wasn’t into Shinhwa and chanted Perfect Man while cleaning up? But the three guys in those outfits and their cheeky moves took the song to a whole new level. The stage was on fire, the guys were dancing like professionals while the audience seemed to lose their minds; all girls around her were screaming so loudly, especially when Jimin got off his jacket. Maybe Jungkook should have done the same, Miyeon thought crossly but blushed deeply after realising what she had wished for. She couldn’t take her eyes off the boy but gulped innocently whenever he made an intimidating move. Not to mention those damn smirks! He wasn’t even aware of the fact that his damn smirks could do such odd things to the state of her heart; they weren’t only resulted in her crazily racing heartbeat but also gave her goose bumps. Oh boy, she was out of words. She unconsciously fell for him. Again.

As the performance came to an end and the boys bowed to each side of the audience, Miyeon joined the claps and the screams. She was so proud of them, they put on a wonderful show, she couldn’t even describe how brilliant they were. They didn’t even make a mistake, they were in perfect harmony and totally nailed the festival.

“Well, I didn’t expect less,” Yoongi cleared his throat beside her and his sudden confession made her bounce a little. She was so immersed into the dance and the combustion around it that she wasn’t prepared for starting a conversation.

“Ah, these kids can really dance,” Seokjin added vigorously and smiled like a proud daddy. His reactions were always fun to watch as he couldn’t hide his amazement and during the last two hours, his jaw dropped several times. He also shared with her that he gave up dancing after a few attempts, so he absolutely respected the guys for trying so hard to do their best. Maybe he wasn’t a good dancer but he was incredibly supportive; he was almost like their number fan. Seokjin was the one who brought his home-cooked meals to the boys after training sessions or bought them dinner.

“Guys, I’ve got the password!” announced Taehyung excitedly and looked up from his phone. Miyeon looked puzzled but Namjoon explained that they had to come up with a password to pass by the guards and go backstage to meet the boys.

“What is it this time?” Yoongi asked knitting his eyebrows in question and looked at the younger boy who grinned so proudly, it was almost guilty.

“Infires, man!” he answered smugly and the response was sudden. Everyone burst into laughter while she just slightly chuckled at the boys’ reaction. On their way to the backstage area, Seokjin was considerate enough to tell her the whole story about the saying ‘Infires, man!’. It was a tiny mistake that Yoongi made while doing an English listening task in class when he misheard the word inspires as infires but the boys were more than pleased with using it as a teasing.

Miyeon was laughing uncontrollably because after this flashback, Taehyung and Namjoon decided to have a fierce battle of sharing the most embarrassing story regarding the seven friends. They were in the middle of analysing the failure of Kim Seokjin’s beatbox lesson when an over-excited figure literally jumped in front of her.

“We were amazing, right?” Hoseok yelled, waggling his eyebrows and soon, his two dance partners showed up as well. They were all still sweating but changed into a more comfortable and natural outfit, Jungkook for example was wearing grey sweatpants with a white T-shirt and his favourite dark-blue jumper. Still, Miyeon felt like she could faint anytime soon.

“Yeah, of course, of course. I’m proud of you, guys!” Yoongi started the compliments which went on and on and she didn’t want to miss the opportunity to congratulate the guys on such a sensational performance, so she also accentuated her opinion.

“You were amazing! No doubt that you were the best of all the participants. You were unique and brilliant and your moves were always on point. It would have been a shame if I had missed it. So, thank you so much for inviting me, it was the greatest dance festival which I’ve ever attended.”

“Thank you for coming!” Jimin grinned seeing the girl’s enthusiastic chattering but she wasn’t in the mood for holding herself back. There were so many emotions rushing through her body and so many thoughts on her mind that she just wanted to share them as soon as possible. “You look lovely, by the way.”

“Yeah, I agree. You are undeniably the highlight of the festival,” Hoseok ran a hand through his obsidian-black, slightly sweaty hair and gave her a big, bright smile. Miyeon wasn’t good at getting compliments and immediately blushed in embarrassment. The guys also noticed the change in her behaviour but nudged Jungkook to say something to her. As far as he was concerned, he looked so dumbfounded, his lips slightly parted and he stared at her for a few seconds. His jet-black eyes were playing tricky little games with her vision; once she saw them shining with insecurity and other times she thought that they were just cute, little clouds hovering on the mackerel sky; so pure, innocent and calm.

“Uhmm, well, thanks,” he cleared his throat, obviously responding to her fangirling and that made her slightly disappointed. She was a girl, she was craving for the boy’s compliment who she had a crush on and when she didn’t get what she had expected, she couldn’t help but huffed lightly.

“Oh, come on! You dance like that on stage and still can’t say some nice words to a girl?” Hoseok whined in a high-pitched tone and gave him a ‘Don’t you dare to do this with me’ look. Seokjin patted the energetic guy’s shoulder and clapped his hands to make sure others shift their attentions to him.

“Don’t embarrass him, Hobie,” he warned the dancer, knitting his eyebrows but when he next continued, he was affectionate and proper just as expected from Kim Seokjin. “We have more important things to do. Get your stuff and we’ll go a restaurant to celebrate your amazing performance! The bill’s on me, guys!” he promised while a kind smile was forming on his lips. The boys started cheering almost wildly and it didn’t even take too long to get all the seven guys together to head to their favourite restaurant. Miyeon was also invited to the celebratory dinner but she was quite reluctant at first. She only gave in when Jungkook stated that she can’t miss it and gave an attractive smirk directed at her.

▌▌

They ended up having dinner in a cosy, little restaurant which she had never been before but the boys insisted that they should go there as it was their favourite place to eat. As soon as they arrived, the squad swiftly sat down around a random table, so in the end, she had no other option than to plunk herself down beside the one and only Jeon Jungkook. She was aware of the fact that it wasn’t fate, it was obviously on purpose; the guys were definitely up to something.

Luckily, waiting for their food to arrive wasn’t boring at all. What is more, Miyeon laughed so much that she had already forgotten that she was as hungry as a wolf. The seven boys didn’t intend to stop broaching more hilarious and more remarkable moments of their friendship and the more stories she heard, the more she realised that they were such adorable human beings. They were lovely even one by one but when they were together and casually enjoyed themselves, it was the best. She felt a pleasant kind of warmth hanging around her the whole time; it seemed that the boys’ joy and high spirits were so gummy that she also couldn’t stop smiling. She wanted to get lost in that feeling, she wanted it to last forever.

Being with the boys made her realise how much she had missed these moments: the fun conversations, the loud laughs, the little bickering and the cheerful giggling. Her anxiousness which she felt in the beginning flew away so quickly, thanks to the squad’s amicable attitude. Not to mention that they were such gentlemen; when she pulled out her wallet to pay back the money which Seokjin paid for the food, he shook his head violently.

“No, no, no, no!” he emphasised every single ‘no’, it was almost like an overreacted feedback of a restless fangirl. “Do I look like someone who would make you pay for the food? Oh no, Miyeon-ah, I’m not that kind of guy.”

“No, he’s not that kind of guy,” Taehyung imitated Seokjin’s reaction which lead to another round of laughter. Even the latter guy slightly chuckled and ruffled the younger one’s hair in amusement.

“Just let him pay it!” Namjoon motioned with a dimpled smile. “Or else, we’ll have to listen to his whining all weekend!”

“Okay. Thank you for the food, then!” she gave in, putting her wallet back into her bag. Seokjin let out a relieved sigh and finally paid the bill, a total amount of 78.000₩.

„That’s a lot of money.”

„Well, kids eat a lot,” the mommy figure elucidated naturally but the others weren’t safely out of hearing range, so they heard it, too. Yoongi simply suppressed another yawn, Namjoon nodded in agreement, Hoseok grinned brightly as always but the maknae line was actually kind of offended. Jimin sulked over it by wrinkling his nose, Taehyung let out a grumble while Jungkook knitted his eyebrows. Surprisingly, the golden maknae was the one who wanted to point out that they were just few months younger than the eldest guy.

“We’re not kids, you know.”

“Say it when you finally turn 19!” Hoseok guffawed amusingly and pinched his cheeks just like a grandma would do to his grandson. Miyeon laughed at Jungkook’s reaction who caught sight of the giggling girl and a dangerous smirk started to creep onto his face.

“You’re also underage!” he blurted out childishly and she felt a need to whine but instead she just stuck her tongue out at him. No doubt that he was right as they both had their birthday on the same day, so they were both still 18. But 1st of September wasn’t that far away. To be precise, it was only 4 days away.

“Come to think of it, how will you spend your birthday?” Namjoon inquired while curiosity filled his eyes. He directly looked at her, so it was obvious that the question was for her. Still, she pondered over the thought before she finally said it out loud.

“Nothing really special. Maybe a birthday cake but nothing more extraordinary,” she shrugged absent-mindedly because she had no intention of celebrating it in any special way. Her birthday would be on Thursday when both Chanyeol and Taeyeon had after school activities and she also had to attend her CSAT preparation classes. On top of that, her parents usually worked until late at night, so this birthday didn’t seem to be so interesting. At least, not as interesting as the last one.

“Well, we’re celebrating Jungkook’s birthday on the 4th if you would like to join,” Jimin said, rather smugly that he was the first one who came up with the idea. She couldn’t deny that the invitation piqued her curiosity but she still wasn’t sure whether it would be a good idea to spend more time with Jungkook or actually a terrible one.

“I’ll think about it,” she finally mustered while her eyes were glued to the golden maknae. He didn’t show any sign of relief, so she knew it would be the best to suppress the intense beating of her heart which almost seemed like a passionate composition.

Soon enough, the boys had to go home as parents’ concerned phone calls occurred one after another and Miyeon also knew that it was time for her to go. Although she was having so much fun and literally had the best time of her life, she bid her goodbye and headed home.

She started roaming alone, dwelling on flashbacks of those good old days when she didn’t even spend a day without seeing these seven guys. The bittersweet nostalgia consumed her and she couldn’t prevent the painful melancholia from engulfing her thoughts. She tried to snap out of it by shifting her attention to the scenery around her but it didn’t help at all; it rather made her feel agitated. The city was picturesque and its lively streets were swimming in the tangerine waterfall which was created by the beautiful sunset. Memories of Jungkook and her watching sunsets popped up in her head and the sudden rush of loneliness slightly broke her heart.

After marching towards for a few minutes, she heard hasty footsteps from behind and a tall, slim figure suddenly caught up with her.

“Do you mind if I come with you?” Jungkook asked with a shaky voice and started walking beside her, still kind of short of breath. It looked like he was running until he saw her and this observation triggered getting nervous butterflies in her stomach.

“No, not at all” she shook her head decisively. “Are you at your dad’s this weekend?” she asked out of curiosity because his dad’s house was the one which was close to hers but immediately wanted to bite her tongue. She realised how painful this question might have been for the boy and mentally gave herself a good slap for acting like a total idiot. Luckily, Jungkook didn’t get offended and just nodded in agreement.

The next 15 minutes were spent in comfortable silence which neither of them wanted to break. Maybe for a period of time, it could have been exceptionally awkward but that day changed something. The border between them seemed to shatter after that particular day in March when Jungkook got beaten up and spent the evening in her house. They didn’t stammer anymore when they bumped into each other or had to do a pair work in class.

Nonetheless, they didn’t even get closer. Miyeon didn’t exactly know why. She wasn’t sure about her feelings, not to mention the golden maknae’s intentions as he didn’t say anything offensive but neither anything that would give her hope. Yet, false hope was the cruellest of all kind of cherished feelings; it was poisonous, believing in something for so long and didn’t get it in the end. She wanted to prevent herself from that painful disillusion. Which also meant that she had to force herself not to fall in love with him again. But it was already too late now; her border was totally ravaged.

Walking the same path as they used to do after such a long time was a new kind of experience. It was weird, refreshing and somehow reassuring at the same time.

“Oh, look!” she suddenly exclaimed, noticing the Banpo Bridge which was illuminated by hundreds of lights and she immediately walked faster to get closer to the bridge fountain, which citizens commonly called as the Rainbow Fountain. “I guess we’re just on time to see the show!” she bounced happily and stopped at the barrier to enjoy the colourful water show which was taking place in front of her.

It was weird to think of it that this was the bridge which they crossed when they celebrated their birthday together. Small wonder why Jamsu Bridge – and Banpo Bridge which was on top of it - had a special place in her heart and she felt that she had a strong connection with this place. It wasn’t just her favourite sight but also a lot of Koreans and tourists liked it. It was the world’s longest bridge fountain and held wonderful fountain shows several times a day when dancing, rainbow-coloured jets of water could be seen in the air in synchronization with the music. It was breath-taking and she couldn’t get sick of it, even though she had seen it several times before.

“Despite the fact that I see this show almost every day, I’m still amazed. It’s so beautiful!” she trailed off with her mouth agape and couldn’t take her eyes off the view. Jungkook also said something but he muttered so quietly that she couldn’t understand it. Miyeon shifted her attention to him and gently asked him to repeat what he had said.

“You’re beautiful, too,” he merely blurted out and the dimples deepened with his cute bunny smile. She had to look away not to look ridiculous because she was sure that she was blushing deeply. Well, maybe it was more sincere and heart-warming than if he had said it in front of the other boys and in all that noise and combustion during the dance festival. All that disappointment and bitterness vanished from before as if she hadn’t even felt it at all.

“Thanks,” that was all she could muster after a pause that lasted longer than she intended. She gave him a bashful smile and they were gazing at each other for God knows how long. She was lost in his beautiful jet-black eyes which had that adorable, prominent glint. The black and white completed each other so well that they resembled little dominos. Not to mention that his stare was almost like a cage; it locked her every single time their eyes met. Jungkook was dangerous and addictive but the best of all kinds of wrong.

“So, this was your last time when you danced before the exams?” Miyeon cleared her throat and tried to pacify her thumping heart and scrambling thoughts.

“Yeah,” the golden maknae nodded and a sheepish smile was forming on his lips. “I have CSAT preparation classes and I think it’ll be too much to attend both of them. I want to do my best on the exams, so until we’re finished with them, there would be no more dance practises, nor performances,” he continued and it was an uncharacteristically long answer from him. The enthusiasm in his voice didn’t go unnoticed and his eyes were shining with undeniable passion. She loved this side of Jungkook, so much that it almost hurt. He was so immersed into talking about dancing that you could see the slight twinkles in his eyes. Maybe she was in love with him just as much as he was in love with dance.

“I’m pretty sure you’ll secretly dance in your room, though.”

“How did you know that?” he chuckled and looked rather amused. It was so good to see him like that, it melted her confused heart. “Yeah, probably. You know me well,” he admitted while forcefully grasping the barrier. His eyes were staring far ahead and he looked totally amazed by the fountain show. Nonetheless, she could read him pretty well and knew that he wasn’t thinking about the beauty of those water-jets but something completely different like the time they had spent together.

She exactly knew that feeling; that insecurity and fear which was triggered by the joyful memories. That kind of fragility was something she wasn’t afraid of when she was a kid. But as years went by and she grew older, she understood why the elderly had that bitter expression every time they were prattling about a fond memory. She had been through it all: getting hurt and hurting others; falling down and keep running again; trying to break down someone’s wall but building up her own and loving someone and making them hate her. She had been through a lot since she met Jungkook but she was so thankful for him. Immature as she was, she couldn’t consider herself an adult even a year ago but he changed her. He taught her how to chase her dreams no matter what, ignore others’ expectations but her own and he also taught her about love. He was definitely a chapter of her book, a very decisive one.

“But even though we know each other well, I still don’t know your answer,” he stated out of the blue and finally turned to face her. He slightly raised one of his eyebrows in question while she merely looked at him, totally dumbfounded.

“What answer?”

“Your answer concerning whether you still like me or not,” he said right away and gazed at her, not letting Miyeon avert her eyes elsewhere but his face. It would have been an understatement to say that she was shocked because she was at the verge of fainting. She was extremely devastated, didn’t even know whether to drop her jaw, hug Jungkook tightly or run away from him. Even her heart decided against her will and started to thump like a ticking time-bomb which would explode any minute. She didn’t even think that he remembered for that night just as vividly as her, not to mention the fact the she left his question unanswered.

Miyeon blinked a few and coyly tucked a loose strand of hair behind her right ear. As she noticed the desperate anticipation in his eyes, she knew it was now or never. She had to tell him the truth unless she didn’t want to live her life miserably thinking about those what ifs. So, she cleared her throat and let out a faint, fragile sigh before she started speaking.

“I-I do,” she mumbled nervously and continued before he even had the chance to take a breath. “But I wasn’t prepared for all the attention we got. You know, there was nothing wrong with the fact that people recognized us but how they used my little brother to hurt me was beyond my imagination. It was bearable until they only hurt me but when they hurt him, I just couldn’t take it anymore. I thought that I could end all this if I break up with you−“

“Do you regret it?” Jungkook cut her off but it wasn’t even a bit irritating, instead she felt a rush of relief running through her body. Now, she felt like she could breathe again. Keeping secrets and never telling him the truth was undeniably poisonous, she sometimes felt a need to make sure she wouldn’t suffocate from all those nasty words.

“I assume that Chanyeol would have found out the truth sooner or later even if I don’t break up with you, so yes, I regret it now. But then, I thought that it was the best thing to do.”

“I know,” he said solemnly, nodding a bit as a sign of sympathy which set her at ease. Gosh, she was so afraid to talk to him again and not only did they talk for so long now but they also had an in-depth conversation, trying to elucidate their actions and finally make things right. “Your brother told me about it.”

“He did?” her eyes widened in surprise since Chanyeol had never pointed out that he had talked with Jungkook regarding the Dara case. Miyeon was pretty pleased with his greatly wrathful fight with his ex-girlfriend, she would have never thought that he also did such a thing.

“Yeah, a couple of days after he told Dara off. He thought that I deserved it because he was one of the reasons why you broke up with me.”

“So, you knew it all along?” she puzzled up the words the boy had said but still didn’t want to believe it. It didn’t make any sense. If he knew about it, why would he never say a thing to her? It was her initial intention to hide the truth from him as she didn’t want Jungkook to feel even worse, after realising that she had enough when Chanyeol got involved in their story. It was easier to say that it was because of all those nasty gossip and heartless bullying. Well, it was partly why she broke up with him but she got utterly pissed off when they hurt his little brother. It was alright until she was the only one who got hurt but she couldn’t let them hurt his brother. In the end, it seemed that nobody could survive the battle without wounds; Chanyeol, Miyeon and Jungkook all had to suffer the consequences of her action. Nonetheless, as time went by, their scars started to heal and the hideous pain was bearable, or they were merely accustomed to it.

“I knew. But I thought that I’m selfish if I want to hold onto you since I hurt you so much,” Jungkook admitted and his voice came out horse and extremely painful. He ashamedly looked away but she caught him nibbling his lips. She almost wanted to protest that it wasn’t true, he couldn’t blame himself for what had happened but he seemed impatient to wait for her answer and continued speaking.

“I needed you. Maybe more than you needed me. I needed someone who can accept my family background. Who I can talk to about nothing and everything. I never once intended to give you pain,” Jungkook whispered and his grievous words sounded like a pleading pray.

Miyeon’s heart immediately sunk after his confession and her whole body trembled in great shock. She was still in the abyss of his words, both lost in their shared memories and comprehending the present actions. She was examining Jungkook as he was standing beside her, digging his nails into his palms, the genial wind ruffling his hair and his whole presence displaying innocent purity and aching solace. He was so fragile; she was afraid that if she touches him or even says a single word, he may disappear.

“I know, Jungkook,” she said after a few seconds of silence. “I know. It wasn’t you. It was Dara, Bobby and all those horrible people that are jealous of others who are doing well. For some reason, they can’t stand it,” Miyeon insisted vigorously, suddenly feeling like a soldier who was ready to fight. But it was all past now, she was aware of that. She couldn’t change it, she couldn’t turn back time but she couldn’t control her aching heart either. There was only one thing she could do.

“I’m sorry that it had to be like this. You didn’t deserve it,” she shook her head, lips quivering, feeling nervous all of the sudden but all her words were sincere and affectionate. It was true and she couldn’t deny it; the one thing that hold her back from getting together with Jungkook was the shame. The shame that consumed her because she had caused so much pain and let him endure it all alone while she tried to make things right with Chanyeol. It wasn’t fair and she couldn’t help but dread his anger.

However, instead of shouting at her or leaving without answers, he merely said:

“I’m sorry that you had to get through all this,” he finally looked at her, so she faced a state-of-the-art boy whose eyes were filled with dismay and regret. The black and white in those little holes were the perfect representation of the yin yang symbol. They interconnected so well but one couldn’t exist without the other. Like light and dark or fire and water, Jungkook was also the description of duality, not just his beautiful jet-black eyes. All his little things were individually precious but added up the whole and made him even more vulnerable. Miyeon loved all of his sides, even the insecure, anxious dark side with the joyful white part and the pure, innocent white side with the inevitable darkness.

“We’re restless fighters, aren’t we?” she pointed out and a hopeful smile was evident on her face. She couldn’t bear the sight of the agitated boy, so she decided to clear the tension in the air. She even slightly nudged his shoulder which triggered his face slowly dissolving into a sheepish smile. Gosh, his smile was beyond words. “Actually, I’ve learned a lot from it. If we could turn back time, I would definitely give us another try. I believe I can handle things better and even tell them to go to hell if I get sick of their teasing,” she chattered, almost joyfully and her bold statement made his jaw drop.

“Wow! I’ve never thought I would hear such things from you,” he ran his hand through his coal-black hair while a childish giggle escaped his mouth. She let herself chuckle with him and for the first time that time, she felt weightless. It was that kind of feeling which made you feel like a butterfly that could finally fly away from its cage, far away from its problems, doubts and worries.

Yet, Jungkook’s face suddenly stiffened, so she hoped for the best and prepared for the worst. The question still made her heart leap.

“But if we didn’t turn back time, just try it out right now, would you say the same?” he asked recklessly and his eyes were pleading. Now, they were standing face-to-face, illuminated by the lights from the colourful lights of the show and gazing at each other, the closest that they happened to be in the last few months. She had to remind herself to breath because she was utterly nervous. Of course, she would, she wanted to shout, hug him while saying how much she had missed him, his voice, his lullabies, his touch, his vanilla and cinnamon scent, his beautiful eyes and those damn smirks. Gosh, how much she had missed him.

Though, she had to hold herself back and she finally opt for the most sensible option: the honest answer without showing any affection. Then, if he approved of her decision, she could hug him as much as she wanted.

“Yes, I would say the same,” she nodded decisively and the boy’s shoulders immediately loosened. He let out a heavy sigh and looked up at her, one of his typical smirks forming on his lips.

“Good. Because that’s what I was thinking, too,” he added, rather proudly and they smiled at each other, immersed into each other’s beautiful eyes and this new kind of feeling was starting to fill them up. She realised that she couldn’t hold it back anymore, so she walked up to him and hugged him tightly. Jungkook let out a chuckle as he embraced her and it felt just so perfectly right. She rested her chin on the crook of his neck while he patted her shoulder, slightly reluctantly and nervously but definitely affectionately.

“But don’t you dare to give me one of those damn smirks like you did during your performance!” she warned him, withdrawing for a few seconds to look up at him and facing a smugly smirking Jungkook. Oh boy, he was starting it again!

“Like this?” he asked as he challengingly wiggled his eyebrows and gave her the most attractive smirk ever. She blushed a bit but pinched his cheek which she knew he didn’t like. Unfortunately, Jungkook also remembered that she was extremely ticklish, so he didn’t miss the opportunity to get his revenge. She was screaming while trying to run away from him but it was a hopeless case; he was way too fast. He was tickling her while she protested that he should stop but he couldn’t take it serious. Honestly, Miyeon didn’t mind it either.

Maybe they needed those months to make them realise how much they missed and loved each other. But it was perfect this way; they grew to become a better person and learned how to stand out for themselves while they were apart. When they finally got together, they learned how to love again.

It was just right. It was all alright.

But those damn smirks were not. She had to do something about it, she made a mental note as she made an attempt to escape from his embrace. Fortunately, her attempt was a total failure.

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