#bts comedy
Text
The Creamed Pie
Summary: What a gross bakery name you thought as you entered, too hungry to turn down the promise of food. Allosexuals were getting more and more brazen by the day but succubi were worse, even if they were ace. And somehow you were helping that ace succubus now.
Pairings: Seokjin (BTS) x Reader
Rating: SFW (although I ask that because of the number of sexual jokes and comments, please just 18+ people read)
Warnings: sexual innuendos, mentions of death
Genre: fluff, humor, angst, succubus au, slow burn
Word count: 7.9k
The Creamed Pie
The cafe sign looked down at you with welcoming arms, steam and water puffing out from the name. And if it weren’t for your hunger, you might’ve looked over the bakery because of that name… you might not know much… but that was sexual. You barely even paid mind to how as you were about to give in and look up food nearby on your phone, such a tasty looking place came into view.
It was too good to be true.
Just a short walk from your new apartment was a cafe that could fuel you before work and fulfill your cafe loving mind on mellow days? It was a miracle and you could imagine the times you’d spend in here.
The cafe name though .... Were allosexuals ok?
You laughed and shook your head, your growling stomach you in. Despite the name, the inside wasn't playing off of such sexy themes.
In fact it was full of pastel colors and vibes. The tables were full of soft rainbows, each table and chair set a mix and match of all the colors. An accent wall of luscious ivy seemed to wave you over to settle into the couch right below it, full of plushies. There were even more plushies sitting on chairs and resting on the counters. It was an eclectic and interesting place that you could see becoming popular for its aesthetics off of social media… especially if they had those aesthetic bathrooms that people would spend twenty minutes in getting the perfect selfie.
The handsomest man in the world with a blinding smile rushed from the backspace, his smile wide and excited as he started fretting behind the counter. Pink oven mitts were barely off before he was shouting welcomes, his pastel blue apron dusted with flour that was sprinkling onto the counter.
"What can I get for you ?"
"An Iced americano, please."
For the briefest second, a frown took over his face before he rushed to make it. After he finished he grabbed a muffin and plated it.
"Here you go."
"Uh. How much is it?"
"Oh! Shoot. Forgot about that. You all normally have registers, right?"
"What?"
"Nothing. This is on the house," The man flashed a large smile. "For being my first ... customer."
You nodded, grabbed your stuff and sat down. He probably hadn't had customers because of the cafe name… Looking back over though, he didn’t even have a register.
Or… wait… there was one?
It seemed fuzzy, barely there in your mind but the longer you looked at it, the more you were sure that there was and always had been a register there. You shivered and looked down at your order. Maybe you should of gotten a hot americano.
Despite the off putting name (who thought of that name and approved it?), taste of the food was out of this world. Everything was bursting on your tastebuds and between the chewy fruit and a crunchy topping, the muffin was the best muffin you’d ever eaten. The owner knew what he was doing by giving you this on the house. You were groaning and vibrating with excitement with each bite.
Half way through your muffin though you froze, the hair on the back of your neck sticking up as you turned to look at the counter. The man was staring with a big smirk on his face, his plump lips spread thin and teeth on display as he watched you eat.
Creepy.
His smile dropped and he quickly went to the backroom to do something. You deflated once he was gone and finished up your coffee before rushing out. Maybe the cafe wasn’t a place you needed to go to again. That man was creepy and unless you were able to figure out a schedule for other workers, you don’t know if you’d want to stay long enough to eat there.
The cafe stayed with you like a ghost and before long, you were trying to seek it out matter how again. No matter how badly you searched though, you couldn't find it. Somehow the cafe wasn’t in the same spot as last time and you felt a shiver as you thought back to the man. Something wasn’t right with him. His smile haunted almost you as much as the muffin did. Yet he seemed friendly too… just… off.
The longer you thought about the cafe and him, the more you wanted to return (maybe with another person) to find out more about him and his cafe… if it managed to survive past a week.
It wasn't until you were caught by the rain on your way home from work that you found it again. Its name was still the same but the surrounding logo of food outlines made it look much more appealing and feel much less sexual. Gone were the water droplets and now there was a few different baked goods on it. Maybe the owner was upgrading his business to get more customers.
You rushed inside and stopped at the doorway to shake off the water, shivering as the cold stuck to you and the water refused to leave. During your move your umbrella broke and although you could use it if you kept your hand up to push it open, you didn’t want to do that… especially after working a long day. It was mindless of you to not get a new umbrella.
"Oh! Y/n-ssi! You're shaking. Here's a towel! Let me prepare some tea." The same man as last time said after popping out from the back room. You could hear him clamor around and before long you found yourself ushered to one of the cushioned chairs and wrapped up in a warm towel.
It wasn't until he came back with a hot cup of tea that you processed what he said, another shiver running through you at the realization.
"How did you know my name?" You asked, eyeing him suspiciously.
"Your credit card shows it on the chit system."
"You gave me my stuff on the house."
He froze before collapsing in the seat. across from you with a dramatic sigh, "Acting human is hard. Other succubi don't have this challenge!"
"What?"
"Oh shit. Be not afraid." He said, waving his hands around as if to try to put a spell on you.
What the fuck?
This can’t be real!
“It’s real, Y/n-ssi.”
…
No one else was in the cafe… you should play along. There was no telling what he might do to you if he thinks you didn’t believe him.
"So… You're a succubus? Well I hate to break it to you, you won't get any food from me."
"Oh on the contrary. Your first visit here was delectable."
"How! I'm ace! you feed on orgasms! Omo! The name makes sense now." You said, trying to think of anything to keep him talking.
"I'm ace too. And succubi feeds off of desire. Not orgasms."
"You're an ace succubus?" You asked, laughter rising from you at the contradiction. This man was pulling shit out of nowhere at his point.
"Hey! I hear your thoughts," The man said as he laughed, "Just because common media shows us as sex hungry demons doesn't always mean we are. And I am telling the truth. I don’t know how I can prove that to you but I am. I won’t hurt you if you don’t believe me. You don’t have to worry about that."
You froze. Any self aware man who--
“Knew about the struggles people have with strangers would be able to realize you’re worried about your safety?” He said, giving you a flat look.
Your mouth was hanging open as you gaped for something to think of… Were you actually talking to a demon? How was that even possible? The whole thing felt surreal but the same cafe showed up in two different spots ... he knew your name. No one else was here. He was unrealistically handsome. His food was unimaginably tasty.
"If you're trying to live like a human, you're failing."
"Care to teach me?" He asked and despite the suggestiveness of his words, when he looked up at you, you saw desperation and concern, “I only have a few more months to give this a try before they bring me back to hell and try to get me to do the usual succubi business of sex dreams and,” He shivered, “I can’t do that. I can’t go back.”
His anxiety was something you felt so viscerally. All the moments of people not believing your sexuality, questioning your jokes and actions when they didn’t fit into the stereotype of what an ace person should look like, the times people thought they could change you… you knew his pain and his anxiety. Maybe not as extreme as him if he was a succubus but you knew it.
“Yeah. I’ll help. But I will have you know, I do not like how you went to food. I get you want to do something different than sex but… food? It’s the oldest ace stereotype in the book! ”
He blinked slowly.
“What?”
“Media always portrays ace people as replacing sexual urges with food.”
The man started laughing, slapping his knee as rolled around in the chair, “It sounds to me like they try to understand their desires by putting others through a filter of their understanding. But food is one of the next biggest desires so I am not changing it. I’ve gotten enough desire from those who’ve visited already. Only a little though. Almost not enough. And so many other desires offer much less. But you’ll help me, Y/n-ssi?”
You sighed, “Yeah. I will… What’s your name?”
“Ah! I almost forgot you all can’t read thoughts. It’s Seokjin. Kim Seokjin. Nice to meet you. I hope you’ll help me stay on earth with this job...”
Seokjin groaned and threw a damp washcloth at you. Stupid demons have good aim it seemed because it hit your book, forcing it out of your hands, “I can’t believe you’re reading that.”
You shrugged and grabbed your book, “I’ll read sex scenes if the rest of the book is good. Besides, I mostly read what they say and skim the rest.”
“I can literally hear you reading each sentence.” He said and when you looked over at him, his ears were bright red and a frown was twisting his face.
“Would you like me to stop reading it for now? I have some other books I can read while you can hear my thoughts.”
He sighed and nodded, “I’d appreciate that. I can’t believe that you convinced me to buy an actual shop! Now I have to be in the shop more.”
You laughed as Seokjin whined, “You won’t get tons if you only target people who are desperate for food! You can still give them stuff on the house but now you’ll get more people with small amounts of desire as well.”
He groaned and threw his arms in the air like a petulant child and you were once again struck by the fact that he was a demon. A succubus. How the hell was this stuff real? How had you been roped into helping an ace succubus? It explained so much and yet so little about Seokjin. His looks, his flirty nature… but his humor? And his past? And his personality? Still so much was unknown to you and something deep in you was pushing you to learn more.
“I’m glad I’m able to still,” He twirled his hand, a beautifully decorated cake in an ornate cake display shimmering into view and telling you that it’d always been there, "I wouldn’t be able to own an actual shop if it weren’t for this.”
That was still something you’d need to get used to. He’d materialized so much around you, made it real and with a past in your mind. The world of magic that you’d been thrown in was overwhelming.
Whether or not Seokjin heard your inner monologue, he didn’t say, instead going about and cleaning tables. You watched from your corner seat, not yet gathering energy to open your phone and find a new book to read.
The ding from the door pulled you to your phone as you let Seokjin tend to his client. Business in the evening was slow for him and that’s when you enjoyed coming in to rest and help him navigate the human world. The man refused to get an apartment or home despite claiming he wasn’t going to hell to sleep. Where he slept, you didn’t know and that worried you only a little more than his incessant winking when he greeted new customers. And those occasional smirks he gave you when he was feeding off of you… well you were fairly positive he was feeding off of you.
You shivered and tried to bury yourself into your phone.
The next time you came over, Seokjin was struggling with his taxes, screaming at a computer that has always been behind the counter and shaking his head.
“You’re scaring customers away.” You said flatly as you entered, setting your work bag down on your seat.
“The shop is closed.”
You didn’t even jump as the shop sign flipped over to closed and Seokjin went back to yelling about taxes and eating the rich. A laugh left you as you watched him, his veins popping as he worked up a sweat with each hit of the computer.
“Do you want help?”
“No. I am going to make the landlord vanish.”
“Your contract literally had a clause that if the landlord died, his kids would get the place and they might force you out. Nothing will stop the onslaught of taxes, Seokjin.”
He sighed, “Silly humans and their useless taxes. What even is the use of business taxes?”
“I am the last person who’d know. I don’t do taxes nor do I own a business but I am sure the internet could tell you.”
Seokjin threw himself into the chair across from you and your heart leapt out of your throat as his chair wobbled dangerously before finally settling down. He wailed dramatically and grabbed your hands, warmth spreading from his touch as he complained about taxes more and more.
You laughed and shook your head again, grabbing a book from your bag and settling into your seat, “Have you eaten enough desire today?”
He sighed, “No… Especially with this frustration, I am so hungry.”
You should open your shop again then.
“Why would I when my favorite customer is here, though?” You looked up, heat rising to your cheeks as he sent you a wink.
What did this man have in store?
“Want to try the latest treat I’ve made! It’s a decadent lavender and lemon cupcake!” Seokjin was already up and about before you could say anything, his focus on making the cupcake look pretty on the plate. As he walked over, you noticed how he stuck his tongue out in focus. He was a cutie, you’ll give him that.
Before you could even blink there was a steaming mug of tea next to the cupcake as well and he watched you expectantly as you set down your book and took a sip.
“Ohhh. A chocolate tea with this is really smart.” You said, trying to focus on the flavor and not at how excitedly he was looking at you. It made you shy and yet at this point in knowing Seokjin, you couldn’t help but be edenred at how excited he got for you to try his food.
You tried to tell yourself that it was just for the desire he’d get from you but there was always a small voice in your mind telling you differently. Gingerly taking the cupcake, you unwrapped it and broke off the bottom half to put on top.
Seokjin groaned, “Can you not butcher cupcakes like that again?!”
“What! It’s a smart way to eat a cupcake and reduce mess!”
“It’s blasphemy!”
“Shouldn’t you like it more then?” You asked, silencing Seokjin with a bite of his cupcake.
Damn it.
Seokjin made good food.
Begrudgingly, you gave into the wonder that was the cupcake. It wasn’t too sweet, the tart lemon cutting through the sugar and allowing the lavender to hang in the back of your mouth for longer. And the frosting? A soft and tart cream that melted on your tongue, allowing the spongy cake to be eaten smoothly and softly.
Seokjin was smirking at you as you ate and damn it, he looked good.
You set the cupcake down and drank more of the tea, thankful for the change in flavor.
“It’s good.”
“I’m glad. I am feeling much better now myself.”
You scoffed and looked away as you tried to calm down your heart. This man would be the death of you.
Seokjin shook his head at a customer, a pout on his face as he handed over her food and drink. She didn’t seem phased though, waving bye with a smile and sitting down close to you. It wasn’t common to have people come in shortly after you arrived in the evening, the evening rush often starting closer to eight pm with students cramming for the next day. Yet here was someone who’d visited a few times before and was now fluttering her eyelashes at Seokjin as he cleaned up.
You chuckled into your computer as you watched him shy away, glaring at the counter that he was cleaning as she watched him intently. Maybe he was embarrassed by her thoughts. That made you laugh. The man was so handsome and whenever his forehead made an appearance (instead of his common bowl cut) people seemed to flirt with him more than normal… which was to say about every customer was more friendly with him.
Poor guy.
Seokjin glared at you, his nostrils flaring as he dramatically went into the back room.
The other customer deflated, turning to her food and phone as she settled in for the meal. You found yourself deflating as well, turning to focus more on your work. Normally you were good at enforcing a work-life balance but when the deadline for the project you’re heading is nearing and everyone else on your team is enforcing a healthy work-life balance, it was on you to pick up the slack. In the past, they were bad about working overtime without pay even when there wasn’t much to do so you were proud of your teammates. Truly… but the work wouldn’t complete itself.
The next time you looked up, it was because Seokjin had placed a big sandwich, bursting with luscious vegetables and egg salad on your table. A cup of tea that had always been there also greeting you. Your heart fluttered as you thanked him and watched as he sat down with a big sigh.
“I am so tired from standing all day, Y/n-ah! Why do people do this?” He said with a groan, rolling his feet under the table without a care for your shins he was beating.
You shrugged, “Put a chair back there then.”
“That’s really smart!”
“Thank you.”
“What are you working on? I don’t normally see you with your computer out.” He asked, leaning over the table and shoving his face near your computer screen. As if he could possibly read the document upside down.
Could succubi?
“No. I am too tired to go around. Besides I don’t know what it would say upright anyways.”
You nodded. It was always surreal when he read your thoughts but you were getting more used to it as you spent more time with him.
“Please eat by the way.”
Is he really hungry still? It was Monday and every Monday evening he bragged about how stuffed he was because of the worker rush.
“I know you’ve not eaten since this morning. Silly, silly, silly. Don’t overwork yourself.” He said, gently flicking your forehead.
You didn’t know if you believed him.
You looked over at the woman who was finishing her food… she was still here so you couldn’t change the subject to something succubus related… like how he always managed to have such a rush or how he still targeted people whose desires were strong and not in the area.
“Speak for yourself. You are open every day.”
His brows furrowed, “Is that not normal?”
“Are you a big corporation who goes through workers like wheat in a mill and refuses to close?”
He pouted and you felt the urge to coo, “I’m not a big corporation who is mean to workers. Are those? I wonder who--”
He stopped and looked at the lady eating. Were inhumane capitalist systems created in hell?
“From my understanding they’re human.”
You sighed, “Either way. Working every day, with the hours you work isn’t common.”
“Oh. I should close some days then. Would you want to do something with me those days?” His eyes lit up and you knew you couldn’t say no to him.
“Sure. That’d be fun! And I can help you find some other people you can spend time with.”
His brows furrowed once again, “But I like spending time with you. Why would I need others.”
Damn it.
Seokjin wasn’t good for your heart.
“Y/n! Y/n! I found this awesome song! Cake!” Seokjin was shouting excitedly, waving around his phone as he bound towards you, blaring an overtly sexual song and blissfully unaware of the many angry people looking at him.
“P-Please! Quiet the song!” You said, trying to take his phone as he pouted and kept it away.
CAKE! ON MY BODY! CAKE! PUT IT ON MY BODY!
“But it perfectly encapsulates my feelings about cake!” He said with a pout, wiggling around in a poor attempt to dance.
After way too long of him dancing and avoiding your grasp, you were finally able to get him to sit down and silence the song, your whole body bright with embarrassment.
“Seokjin… you can’t play a song like that in public. Even if you feel like it fits your feelings about a food. It’s so sexual.”
“What? How?”
“Oh dear. How do you have your bakery named The Creamed Pie and not know what cake is?” You wanted to cry at having to explain this to a grown ass man… a succubus.
“What about the Creamed Pie? Why are you bringing my love into this! It’s a beautiful name”
“Oh dear.” You shook your head, “It’s a term for a… sex action.”
“O-Omo! What? I had no idea! It fits so well! And cake?”
“Ass.”
“What?! No wonder my friends laughed when I told them what my bakery was named and my favorite song! I know! I will change the bakery name! Double Stuffed is another name I was considering.”
You facepalmed.
“Do succubi naturally make innuendos?”
“What?!”
“Just keep the Creamed Pie. It’s stuck at this point.” You said with a sigh, shaking your head as you looked at Seokjin fondly.
The man was getting so much better at blending into the human world. If you didn’t know any better, you’d think that he was human. But you knew better so you could guard your heart better. He was an immortal demon and you were a human teaching him how to act human.
You watched as he jumped up excitedly to greet a mutual friend of yours who worked at a pet shelter. Hoseok was being pulled excitedly by a new puppy who had to stay with the vet for the night. Laughter bubbled out of you as you watched the two interact, Seokjin throwing his whole body into snuggling the dog while the two interacted. Helping him get into different communities to make friends had been beneficial to you. Sure you had a few friends from work but that was about it, the move removed you from most of your previous friends after all. Seokjin got you into shelter work, a bookclub, a gardening club full of sweet old ladies. He’d made your world better by being in it.
How long would you be able to have Seokjin in your life before he’d have to move to keep his image up?
Would he last ten years before people started to notice he didn’t age?
You sighed, not wanting to get up and interact yet.
These thoughts of Seokjin’s transience had been bogging you down more and more. Sure he could live here for a long time… but would it be enough for you? He’s someone you want in your life for… as long as you live. Ignoring the flutters that have been occurring more frequently, he’s made your life so bright and you didn’t want it to end.
You hoped that Seokjin didn’t sense this from you. Aside from the embarrassment of these thoughts that he might hear, you imagined that your want to keep him in your life could feed him almost as much as his food.
Seokjin was looking at you, an unreadable expression on his face.
You shivered.
Maybe he already knew.
With a heavy sigh, you got up. The walk to Hoseok and Seokjin was full of trying to wipe your mind of the thoughts and the gloom. Think about puppies.
“You’re tired, Y/n. Take a nap.” Seokjin said with a sigh, taking a now empty plate from your table.
“Huh? I’ll be ok. I need to work on a bit more.” You said, waving him off as you continued to type away on your computer. A possible new job was opening in your work and you had to finish the application soon.
The laptop slowly closed on your hands, Seokjin’s frowning face greeting you. There was a blanket and a pillow on your table, the two plush and calling to you stronger than this application was. Was this succubus magic?
Seokjin sighed, “You won’t get the job if you’re burnt out. Take a short nap. I’ll wake you up in thirty minutes,” He must’ve seen something in your eyes because all too soon he was crossing his arms and sitting across from you, “I will bar you from the bakery as well. The door takes people to where they most desire but I can make it so it’ll take you to where you’re dreading.”
“The door can do that?” You asked, looking at the door with a new suspicion. You guessed it made sense that the door had some magic too since he could bring people in from all over the area who were desiring food.
“I am not changing the topic to educate you on one of the many things I’ve learned over my lifetime. Nap.”
“I’m not even that sleepy.” You said, but as you looked back at the door, you knew that you didn’t want to risk no longer being able to see this place. With a glare and a few curses for Seokjin, you grabbed the pillow and blanket, spreading out on the couch and trying to get comfortable.
Sleep didn’t come to you easily though. Seokjin was working still and despite your mind feeling oddly quiet, you couldn’t get comfortable. It was all made worse when Seokjin came over and adjusted the blanket, his hand removing hair from your face gingerly. He sighed what felt like a thousand unspoken words before finally going back to work.
But the ghost of his kindness didn’t leave you. Not the rest of that day. Not during your time at the pet shelter. Not at work. Not during book club.
You shouldn’t be so flustered by a friend’s action. You’d probably do something similar if his hair was in his eyes. It was just a caring thing to do.
Plus, the two of you talk about being ace all the time… but not romance. He still turns down every flirty customer… he could be aeromantic. Or not interested in humans. If you were an all powerful and eternal demon, you don’t think humans would appeal to you.
His touch haunted you as you watched as Jimin collapsed into Seokjin with laughter, Hoseok and Namjoon clinging to him at some joke that they’d told. It was barely even funny (if only you’d been listening). Physical touch has always been something you felt neutral about or blatantly shied away from and generally it didn’t affect you when others were able to so freely be physically affectionate. It was a ghost of a barrier keeping you minimally stimulated that you rarely ever overcame and no one else seemed to try to broach. There were some family members and childhood friends who you hugged or snuggled, but touch had never been something that you wanted or needed. Bodies were warm and quick to getting damp. You cringed at how Seokjin was attacked with affection and yet another part of you longed for that kind of affection from Seokjin.
To hug. To be caught by him. To be able to lean on him. To hold hands.
Jimin, Hoseok, and Namjoon never had a challenge with it.
Seokjin accepted it willingly… but you struggled to broach that.
Speak of the demon… Seokjin looked over at you, welcoming you closer on the picnic mat, his hands pointing to some cold fruits that had always been part of the picnic.
You leaned over and grabbed something to munch on with a smile, Jimin launching on you with his next roll of laughter. A cringe rolled through you but you didn’t push him off, his heaving chest tickling you into laughing as well.
The guys had been swapping strange customer stories for the past hour. It had urged them up the mountain they hiked and been the background noise of the picnic setup. Despite not working at a customer service facing job, you enjoyed the stories and how they reacted. Like Jimin had someone who wanted white black eyed susans in their bouquet… which didn’t exist. They meant daisies… but they refused to believe they weren’t black eyed susans. It didn’t take Jimin too long to convince them that white black eyed susans were super rare and upcharge the poor person on the common flower.
“You’re so devious!” Seokjin said, quieting his laughter with some of the fruit and watching as others around started to eat.
“Nuh uh! The dude was being really rude and I tried to explain it to him for over fifteen minutes. If he wants to think he got something special, let him. He came in wanting to spend more than he needed to anyways.” Jimin said with a hum.
Namjoon shrugged, “Here’s hoping he doesn’t find out ever. Hyung, this fruit is so good! Probably the best I’ve ever had.”
“Thank you!” Seokjin said, smiling broadly and winking at you.
Jimin giggled and gave you a look and you tried to shake it off. Seokjin winked often and this was about your little inside secret. They didn’t know he was a succubus or that he was feeding off of them as they are this fruit… or that he’ll live forever and eventually leave everyone here behind.
Seokjin looked into the woods around everyone as Hoseok took control of the conversation. He was talking about a tragic vet case he worked recently… which was as sad as your thoughts were.
“Why do you keep thinking about me leaving?” Seokjin asked as everyone started hiking back to the parking lot. He’d fallen behind with you and was speaking quietly as if he was worried about others hearing.
Probably because this got to his demonic ways… which they didn’t know.
You shrugged, “You can’t stay here forever. You’re immortal. Sooner or later people will realize that you’ve not aged a day and to keep eating desire you'll need to move. I’ve seen movies and read books about this.”
“You’re acting nonchalant but I can tell how much it’s hurting you. You’ve grown so distant.”
The trail was getting smaller and to continue talking and walking next to each other, your shoulders bumped together repeatedly. His warmth was welcome.
“I like you in my life.”
“And I’m in your life right now.”
“But for how long?” You asked, looking over at him with a glare.
“I don’t know. It’s not like I can’t figure out how to stay with you forever.”
“Seokjin. I don’t live forever. You do.”
“I don’t have to.” He said, untold words swimming in his eyes at that.
Before you could continue though, the parking lot came into view and Jimin was urging Seokjin into his car. You were once again alone with too many thoughts bogging you down.
Damn it, Seokjin.
You watched the back door swing open, two people sauntering into the bakery who you’d never seen before. Seokjin hadn’t talked about hiring people to work here and that was something the two of you talked about often. One of them made their way over to you, tattoos on full display as he dusted off his jacket and gave you a once over.
“Come here often?” He asked in the worst pickup line ever. It took physical strength not to cringe and turn back to your book.
“No.”
“That’s good to know. Want to come over to my place after?”
“Jungkook! What in the world are you doing?” Seokjin’s loud voice made the man, Jungkook, stand on edge. His eyes were wide and face pale.
“That is no way to talk to…” He looked over at you before looking at Seokjin again, the two entering a staring contest that could rival battles.
Was Jungkook a succubi?
You looked over at the other man, tall and lanky but dressed to the nines. They practically walked out of romantic dramas. Why were demons so bad at blending into the human world?
The other man started laughing wildly, Jungkook and Seokjin whipping around to looking at him, “S-Sorry. This human… they have such hilarious thoughts! I can’t tell if they’re insults or not.”
“Yes. When I first moved in they had a lot of comments about my shop’s name. Still can’t quite tell if they were meant to be positive or negative.” Seokjin said, not even sparing you a glance as he sized up the other demon.
“They were negative.” You said and immediately regretted it as Jungkook whirled on you once again sizing you up and giving you one of the worst smolders you’d ever seen in your life. What a disgrace to Flynn Rider.
“Hey! I will have you know that my shoulders are amazing! Wait-- Why aren’t you affected by it?” The poor man looked so confused and sad that you weren’t falling at his feet.
Seokjin coughed and Jungkook and the other demon’s attention was brought to you once again, “What are you two doing here?”
“We wanted to visit you. Especially with the current whispers we’ve heard down below.” The other man said, sitting down in a chair by you and taking a sip of tea that had always been there, waiting for him.
“I wanted to try your food! I’ve heard it’s really good!” Jungkook said, “And Taehyung said that we should have a serious chat with you about giving up immortality.”
Taehyung slapped Jungkook’s arm and shot you a look.
Your eyes shot up as thoughts started rapid firing in your mind. Why would Seokjin give up immortality?
“Y/n, I think you should leave for now.” Seokjin said, not taking his eyes off of Taehyung and Jungkook.
“But they seem like fun! Don’t you want to have fun, Y/n?” Jungkook asked, sending you a wink.
A growl tore you from Jungkook’s gaze, quickly making you pack up your things, “Seokjin’s right. I should get going. Good luck with the conversation, buddy.” You said, not wanting to give space for anyone to speak as you raced out of the cafe.
To your shock, exiting the cafe led right to your apartment door. How in the world did that happen?
The next time you saw Seokjin, he looked sickly and tired and was moving around the shop with half the energy and excitement that he normally had. He still tried to put on a smile for customers who came in and any time you opened your mouth to say something he glared at you. He wasn’t wanting you to bring up what was happening to him but you worried nonetheless.
Do demons get sick?
Is it possible for him to not be getting enough desire?
If so… you wished you could give him all your desire. Anything to keep him healthy and here with you.
Seokjin was so tired that he sat down at multiple points. It was during one time when he was resting his head against a table that you got up, determined to help him somehow. You moved behind the counter and started to make him a cup of tea.
Except… this man didn’t have any mugs.
You sighed and next thing you knew, a mug was greeting you. It had always been there. Looking up, you saw Seokjin looking at you from the table, his head turned to rest and watch what you did. He winked but didn’t do much else. Quickly you made the tea and grabbed one of the display sweets. It wasn’t much and Seokjin likely had something similar all the time but it was the most you could do without talking about whatever was going on. Before bringing the stuff to him, you went to the door and flipped the sign to closed. Seokjin wasn’t in a place to serve people right now.
You sat across from him, cringing as he struggled to get up and slowly sipped his tea. The cafe was filled with the sounds of him slowly eating and drinking, the man a loud slurper and chewer. Probably his one flaw.
“Hey! I am flawless!” He shouted, crumbs flying across the table.
“I don’t know about that.” You said, “Noisy eaters can be a big deal for some people. Can trigger main receptors in some!”
He scoffed, “Well not you.”
You shrugged, “No. But I don’t like it much still.”
He huffed but started to eat with less noise, “I will not change my slurping. It’s how you aerate the hot drink and cool it down. I don’t want to burn my tongue.”
“Didn’t know demons could.”
Seokjin stayed silent at that.
What did Jungkook and Taehyung talk about? What was happening to Seokjin?
He glared at you.
Puppies. Think about puppies.
“You think about puppies a lot. Do I remind you of them?” He asked, his cheeks filled with food and eyes playful.
“Hmmm. I think you remind me more of chipmunks or hamsters. But I like puppies! They’re cute.” You said with a laugh, half wanting to grab your phone and show him some pictures or videos of puppies.
“What about chipmunks and hamsters? No love for them? They live a short time, is that why?”
“I like them.”
“Yeah?”
You nodded, “I don’t know how long I’ll be able to see them when I do. Their life span isn’t a worry either. They might only be around for a short period of my life, but their owners… and I when I see them, love them for their whole life. Their life is full of love. Should be.”
Seokjin looked at his tea and nodded.
“You should make your way home early tonight,” Seokjin started, “I think it’s going to rain soon.”
His eyes were watery when you finally left.
Hoseok and Jimin could tell there was something up with Seokjin… they’d planned a small gathering and while Seokjin didn’t say anything, with only four people there, the tension was palpable. They were carrying the conversation and your worry for Seokjin only allowed for you to add in every once in a while. The chatter of the bar that you’d gathered at was practically screaming into your conversations. When he excused himself for the bathroom but left through the front, you followed.
“Seokjin. Are you ok?”
He jumped, his hands rising up to his face as he whirled on you, eyes wide, “Why are you out here? You should be inside having fun.”
Shaking your head, you came closer, “I wasn’t having fun before. It’s no fun when I’m worried about you. What’s up? I’m here for you.”
“The lights are up.” He said, his back hitting the wall as he sank to his knees.”
You grimaced. You’ll tell him about not touching the outdoor walls of buildings, especially bars, “I love your comedy but now isn’t the time. I want to help you. Do you need food? I can… I can give you desire.”
“Bars are rife with desire… I don’t,” he sighed and shook his head, “I’m feeding fine. It’s… this change is taking so much out of me. I’m exhausted. Change is hard.”
“This chan-” His immortality.
Seokjin didn’t look at you but you felt tears well up as he started talking more, “Jungkook and Taehyung told me the risks… and I still decided that…”
You grabbed his hand, your heart in your throat, “What are the risks, Seokjin?”
He squeezed your hand, pulling you down to squat next to him and despite the fact that your shirt likely had piss on it now, you wanted to be closer. The warmth of his hand and heat from his shoulder wasn’t enough. You didn’t move and he didn’t speak.
The hustle and bustle of the bar filled the tension like air to a black void and like a black void, nothing satiated the tension.
“I don’t know how long I have left on earth.”
“Do you have to return to hell?”
He shook his head.
“Fuck. Seokjin, what will happen?”
“If I’m not strong enough to not live with immortality?” He sighed and leaned his head on your shoulder but you couldn’t find any comfort in his warmth, “I guess my life will be like a hamster. Short but full of your love.”
Tears were fighting their way out of your tear ducts, “S-Seokjin. Wh… Don’t…”
“Would you run The Creamed Pie when I’m gone.”
You scoffed, tears getting into your mouth, “Aside from the fact that I have a job and hate the name--”
“It’s grown on you.”
“I’m not done, idiot. You’re talking like you won’t make it. Don’t talk like that.”
“Well… it’s--”
“There you two are!” Hoseok shouted, his eyes not yet adjusted to being out of the bar, “Get off of that piss stained wall and come back inside!”
Seokjin’s cafe disappeared.
It’s been weeks since you, Hoseok, or Jimin have seen him.
You had to take days off when you realized what had likely happened.
Damn it, Seokjin.
He didn’t even say goodbye.
You’d been crying your eyes out for hours at the realization. He was gone. You’d never see him again. The light that he brought into your life was gone. You were alone in your isolation, your heart breaking loudly in the silence of your apartment.
On day three of your crying, you got a knock at your door. Probably your neighbor wanting to complain about the noise again. Stealing up your energy, you hobbled over and prepared for her to berate you.
You looked through the peephole.
Seokjin.
For a second you had the strong image of opening the door and closing it on his face. But you were frozen, unable to move as a thousand thoughts rushed through your mind all too fast and jumbled to even process.
He was alive.
“I know you’re there. I can hear your thoughts. Please open up.” He shouted, knocking on the door once again.
You couldn’t face him though. He… you’d been grieving him. The loss of a friend and someone you loved. How could you just…
“Please? I missed you.”
If you weren’t dehydrated, you’d be crying.
“Don’t cry! Please let me in? I have so much to tell you.”
“LET THE DAMN MAN IN! I AM TRYING TO NAP.” A neighbor shouted and you finally found yourself moving, opening the door with shaky hands.
A warm embrace was wrapping around you before you knew it. Seokjin’s soft arms and firm hug holding you up as you lost your strength once again. He was cooing for you, rubbing your hair. For once, physical touch felt like a wash of warmth. Slightly too warm, yes, but it was filling a deep crave in your body that had never been there before Seokjin.
He practically carried you to your living space and set you down on the couch before going off to the kitchen to get something.
“No wonder you came to the cafe so much. This kitchen is really underdeveloped.” He said as he clattered around, opening cabinets and drawers.
You watched, open mouthed as your brain tried to process the man who was in front of you. He was glowing more than you think he had before, more youthful and handsome than he was before if that was even possible. There was a slowness to his actions that you didn’t remember being there before but that could have also been your shock of seeing him again.
“You’re here.” You finally manage to say when he sets a cup of water down in front of you.
“I’m here. Mortal.”
“Mortal.”
“Yeah. I… I didn’t say this before,” He started, grabbing one of your hands and forcing the water into it before grabbing your other hand, “I… I couldn’t stay immortal. Not… I can’t see my life without you.”
“So you risked me not having you in my life? Seokjin, I grieved for you like you were dead. I-” Your voice gave out and you saw tears bud in Seokjin’s eyes.
“I’m sorry.”
“How could you!” You gripped his hand tight, shaking it as you heaved, no tears coming, “I grieved for you! Seokjin I- I loved you and I lost you.”
“I’m back! And I will never leave you. I love you too.”
You shook your head, “I grieved for you, Seokjin. I need time. I can’t. I can’t disregard my upset because you’re back.”
He nodded, “I understand. I’ll be at the cafe when you’re ready. Is… is there anything I can do to help you right now?”
“Get out.”
A week later, full of Hoseok and Jimin pestering you, you walked into The Creamed Pie. You didn’t need a phone to direct you where to go after visiting it for so long but you didn’t even need to take ten steps to get there. Its door right outside your apartment, where it had been for the whole week. The fresh smell of baked bread hit your nose before the warm hug of Seokjin.
“I missed you so much.”
He was ushering you inside with a bright smile, the closed sign flipping over as the two of you sat down. Seokjin refused to leave you, tea and a sandwich appearing on your table. They’d always been there and you savored each bite. Their wonder was miniscule in comparison to being next to Seokjin again.
“Thank you.”
“For?”
“Returning to me.”
You grabbed his hand, bringing it over your shoulder as you leaned into him, “The cafe was always with me.”
#wkcnet#bts fanfic#bts fan fic#bts fan fiction#bts fanfiction#bts angst#bts fluff#bts comedy#bts supernatural au#bts succubus#bts demon au#bts seokjin#bts jin#seokjin bts#jin bts#seokjin x reader#bts seokjin x reader#bts jin x reader#jin x reader#bts jin angst#bts jin fluff#bts jin comedy#bts seokjin angst#bts seokjin fluff#bts seokjin comedy#aceseuxals ftw because i said so
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The Curse of Ambershire Masterlist
Pairing: V/Kim Taehyung x You
Rating: PG
Genre: Angst, Comedy, Enemies-to-Lovers, Fluff, Movie!AU
Warnings: TBA
Summary: Forced to leave her Seoul home, Y/N and her older brother, Jung Hoseok, go to stay at Ambershire Manor with her estranged cousin Min Yoongi. Yoongi warns of bandits and instructs Y/N to stay away from the forest and the Kim’s, the rival family. After riding with her cousin, Y/N hears a distressed cry and sneaks into the forest, where she is surrounded by bandits, including a boy named Kim Taehyung.
A/N: Based off the movie "The Secret of Moonacre".
#haveanotherkpopblog post#the curse of ambershire#bts#bts angst#bts comedy#bts fluff#bts fics#bts kim taehyung#bts v#kim taehyung#kim taheyun angst#kim taehyung x reader#kim taehyung x you#kim taehyung x y/n#kim taehyung fluff#kim taehyung fanfic#kim taehyung angst#kim taehyung series
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Mysterious lotus casebook crew said ‘we are going to write a show about grieving the living and saying goodbye and how nothing is as it seems and the fleetingness of human life and we are going to make this the FUNNIEST fucking show ever’ and they did. It’s an A+++++ comedy
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Vincent Price, Peter Lorre, Boris Karloff and Basil Rathbone singing a tune behind the scenes of The Comedy of Terrors (1963)
#vincent price#peter lorre#basil rathbone#boris karloff#the comedy of terrors#halloween aesthetic#halloween#spooky boys#photo#photo edit by me#bts#behind the scenes#i fucking love this#and i love vinnys cute little mouth.... ahahajsjakajakwkw#i got a place for his mouth alright...#horror#old horror movies#vintage#movie#actor#handsome
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https://hannah-765.mxtkh.fun/k/X5V6iDm
#best memes#chelsea fc#happy tree friends#bts army#tony stark#the pretty reckless#deviantart#pink pilates princess#comedy#catholic#winx club#thicc white women#drinks#taehyung moodboard
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Kidnapped......By Choice
And I am back guys. Sorry for the super long hiatus. Will finish Moo Moo part 2 right after I release this small drabble/one shot hybrid (going to call them DRAB-ONE from now on😆)
pairing: Kidnapper Jungkook x chubby oblivious , super nonchalant Y/N
4th DAY OF CHRISTMAS
(DRAB-ONE)
Trigger: mention of trafficking
As usual, little to no proofreading
Could a girl never get some peace and quiet in this freaking world? I shifted from side to side, attempting to catch sleep but the raucous noise of the dinner party beneath my room prevented me from even drifting off.
As I felt myself slowly succumb into the warm embrace of a peaceful slumber, I heard the sudden thud of my window swing open. BAM! BAM!
WTF?!!! THIS BITCH WAS GOING TO GET IT NOW??!!! WHO THE FUCK WAS OUT TO MAKE ME A SLEEPLESS , STRESS RIDDEN LITTLE TROLL?!!!
That's when I saw him standing against the window, almost a silent specter. Well built thick thighs encased in black leather , check. White ski mask barely showing a peek of pink luscious lips, check. Strong shoulders and arms outlined by a dark leather jacket tapering down to reveal an itty, bitty tiny waist, check.
As I literally gobbled his form up with my eyes, the man sauntered over, as a fluid as a panther towards me. "Hey, hey, dude. Stay right there man. I'm a nervous farter. I wouldn't want to fart on you and make you suffer from inhaling the noxious fumes that come out of my ass".
He quirked one of his eyebrows up seemingly trying to hold laughter in, as he rumbled out in a deep masculine voice that made my panties suspiciously moist, "That is seriously all you have to say to an intruder who has come into your bedroom at night? You are warning him that you might fart? That is your threat"?
I put one hand on my head, growling out in impatience, "Look bro, I wouldn't be warning you if it actually wasn't a weapon of mass destruction. You picked the wrong one tonight. I could ruin your sense of smell so bad that you would think a jar of pickles smell like petunias. Don't test the power of the FLATULENCE. OK"?
I slapped my ass vehemently to prove a point......and also assert dominance. Who the hell did this handsome, drool-worthy dude bro think he was, walking in on me in a ripped stained crop top and sleep shorts that had been swallowed by my ass from behind? I had never been so indecently clothed in the presence of a man. And worst of all, a stranger at that.
However, none of this bravado stopped him in his path as he stood right in front of me. His dark eyes glinted like two twinkling stars in the night sky. "Look little lady, it is better if you cooperate. You are right now being kidnapped, why don't you actually show preservation skills and some healthy dose of fear"?
I snorted, clearly making him surprised as he glared at me in confusion, "There ain't anything small about me man. Everything is large or extra large. Not a small bone in my body since I was 10 years old. Now, why don't you move out of my way before I sit on you and suffocate you with my fat cells and bad odor".
Mirth filtered through his eyes as he seemed to be holding back a laugh. Before I could blink, he restrained my arms behind me. As usual my weak arm strength (can't even do a push up) made me as moldable as jello. He tied my wrists with rope and shoved me onto the bed.
I felt super annoyed. First of all, I wasn't getting sleep. Number two, I wasn't even that pretty enough for him to kidnap and sell into any human trafficking. The trafficker would take one look at me, spit in my chubby face, and shove me back where I came from. That would be the first time, they would want a refund. Well everything has a first I guess.
Before I could sit up on the bed and catch my bearings, he had taken off his mask. My jaw fell open and I swear I started drooling. Jungkook? The hot high school senior that I had been mooning over for close to three years? Why was he trying to kidnap me? Wait......why was I resisting? This was a dream come true.
My mood completely switched as I had a grin on my face, brimming with happiness, "Hey, Jungkook-ssi , why don't you kidnap me a little faster and harder...if you catch my drift"?
He looked bewildered as his piercings shined in the dim light, "You..you aren't scared of what is going on right now"?
I kicked my chubby feet into the air in excitement, cheeks blushing, "I have always wanted to be abducted by you, so I don't mind. So, where are you taking me .....and what depraved activities do you have in mind. Would you mind taking me away for a month, at least till math finals are over"? I winked at him, entreating him to give me an answer.
He stood there, paralyzed in shock as he gritted out, teeth clenched, "This was just supposed to be a prank, your brother dared me to do it for 500 bucks". Tears slipped down my face, lips pouting. "What do you mean Jungkook-ssi? Do you mean that you were never supposed to rail me roughly into oblivion? This was all a set-up"?
Not able to deal with my fake crying, he started trying to reassure me, "No Y/N, it was just a light hearted prank, and I needed the money. Please don't misunderstand, I never meant to harm you. I was just supposed to get you scared enough and have the drone camera outside the window record it".
I peered out the window and saw the drone. My expression fell flat, and I felt glum...disappointed at the outcome. I wanted to be roughly porked like in those dark romance novel books with the mafia leaders who were kidnappers. Well, a girl can have here fantasies I guess, but maybe they were never meant to be.
I sullenly sighed, "Ok then Jungkook-ssi. Now that you got the reaction, why don't you leave? I am tired and sleepy. If you don't do it, it is ok. I will just find someone else to do it".
He seemed relieved, till he heard the last line of what I said. His eyes became frantic, smoldering with anger and lips in a hard straight line as he spit out, "What do you mean someone else"?
I yawned, settling back under the covers, rubbing my eyes, "Are you slow or something Jungkook-ssi. I thought my noncon kidnapping kink would be satisfied today and I could knock it off my checklist. But I guess I just have to find someone to pound me from behind, in a ski mask propped onto a window-sill. It just won't be you. Perhaps....Hoseok-ssi, he did grin my way last week in dance club. Maybe he would be interested".
As my eyes closed slowly, head sinking onto the pillow below I felt a weight dip onto the bed and my wrist pinned onto either side of the bed. I opened my eyes suddenly, to be met with Jungkook's feral grin right above me. I tried batting him away, irritated. What did he want now? His big veiny hands grabbed me by my wrists as his hot breath ghosted my neck. He panted with exertion as he continued in a lethal tone, "I will kill any man who dares touch you. Don't test me sweetheart. I am the only one who gets to have you against a window-sill".
I snorted, amused at his antics. He hadn't looked my way in the past 3 years that I had devotedly followed him around campus. And now suddenly after a stupid bet, he was possessive over me. Nonsense. Balderdash. I turned around on my side, pushing my bed covers higher on my body. This tomfoolery at 12 am was not what I wanted to hear. I drawled out groggily, "Like you would be attracted to my sagging granny panty clad ass. Just go back man. Had enough of lies for today".
Suddenly, I felt cold air abruptly filter onto my pussy and butt. Startled, I looked up to see my damp panties in his vascular hands. Smirking deviously as he rubbed my clit slowly with his calloused finger, spreading the moisture around, making me mewl and clutch at his coat, he whispered against my neck, "What made you think that granny panties would stop me sweetheart"?
#chubby reader#bts x plus size reader#bts x reader#comedy#bts x chubby reader#little smut#smidge of smut#jungkook x reader#jungkook x chubby reader#jungkook x curvy reader#bts#bts fanfic#jungkook fanfic
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I’m tryna explain my friend that run by bts, run bts by bts and run bts are 3 different things and that mf just doesn’t seem to understand, damnn
#lol#teenager#comedy#humor#Bts#run bts#rm#kim namjoon#jin#kim seok jin#suga#min yoongi#jhope#jung hoseok#jimin#park jimin#v#kim#kim taehyung#jungkook#tumblr#for you
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Miranda Richardson as Queen (Queenie) Elizabeth I
Blackadder - The Whole Rotten Saga
#Miranda Richardson#Queenie#Queen Elizabeth I#Blackadder#Blackadder the whole rotten saga#BTS#my gifs#mredits#tv : comedy#tv : British#tv : British comedy#I've loved Miranda longer than time has had meaning in my life
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behind the scenes of Bodies Bodies Bodies (2022) dir. Halina Reijn
#bodies bodies bodies#halina reijn#female gaze#queer#2020s#horror#dark comedy#slasher#amandla stenberg#maria bakalova#rachel sennott#chase sui wonders#myha’la herrold#lee pace#pete davidson#bts#og#one of my favorite things ever in the world is behind the scenes photos of horror movies with people covered in blood#in a non creepy way yknow
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Roscoe Arbuckle and Buster Keaton playing dice while Sybil Seely looks on.
October 2, 1920 Exhibitors Herald
#roscoe arbuckle#sybil seely#buster keaton#1920s#bts#1920#silent film#silent era#silent era film#classic hollywood#class film stars#classic movies#old hollywood#retro hollywood#silent era comedy#classicfilmloves#op
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today I learned that Jon played the entirety of "The Poison Within" while looking into MK's eyes and I'm pretty sure that knowledge has irreversibly changed me as a person
#cant think of that scene the same way again. it was already epic but now.... ough <3#diedrich the whimsical bard who is mostly there for a laugh staring straight at (or through) kat as he sings about her tragedy#and then she stabs him! she already said something about not wanting witnesses but maybe it was more than that.#maybe he knew too much (how could he know? what else does he know?) and that scared her#ill be going insane about this for a while#anyway on hour of headless bts on youtube! very cool very fun!#jack jabbers#shipwrecked comedy#headless#headless series#headless: a sleepy hollow story#jon cozart#mk wiles#mary kate wiles
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Do you also need headphones?
From Chris Leask’s London Theatre Direct Instagram takeover
#peter pan goes wrong#ppgw#chris bean#mischief theatre#harry kershaw#chris leask#charlie russell#sandra wilkinson#trevor watson#bts#behind the scenes#mischief comedy#cpds#cornley polytechnic drama society#cds#cornley drama society#theater#theatre#funny#instagram takeover#instagram#video#london theatre direct
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Everything’s A Competition
Genre: Romance, fluff, comedy, oneshot
Pairing: Jungkook x reader
Characters: Idoldad!Jungkook, Mom!Reader, Son!JeonJunghyun
Summary: Not only does your son look like his father, his personality is the same as well. They both sleep a lot, eat a lot and whine about everything. But this also means that you’re the mediator when the two get in a fight. What do they fight over? You.
The sunlight streaming through the curtains woke you up. You groaned, annoyed that the beam was in your face. Reaching over, your arm touched the cool mattress rather than a body.
“Huh?” You raised your head. Indeed, you were alone in bed. Pushing yourself into a sitting position, you got out of bed and shuffled out of your bedroom. You scratched your head, looking around until your eyes fell on the broad back of your boyfriend.
“There you are.” You sighed.
“Oh. You’re awake.” He turned around, waddling over to you with a big childlike grin. His arms engulfed you immediately, his big body practically leaning on your smaller one.
“Okay, okay. Good morning to you too, Koo.” You patted his back, cheek smushed against his chest. Bam trotted over, wagging his tail excitedly.
“Good morning to you too, Bam-ie.” You smiled, holding his head in both your hands to rub his ears.
“I better go wash up. I probably have morning breath.” You said to both boys with a chuckle and headed back into the bedroom. That was until you heard footsteps behind you and saw Jungkook following you with Bam.
“What?” Jungkook blinked.
“Nothing.” You laughed, pulling your hair up into a bun.
“What are the two of you doing?!” You asked as they followed you into the bathroom. Bam just panted with his tongue out of his mouth. Jungkook pretended to busy himself with an imaginary lint on his shirt. Sighing, you knew you wouldn’t be able to get rid of them so you used the toilet quickly and brushed your teeth.
“You’re so beautiful.” Jungkook smiled as he leaned against the wall, staring at you through the reflection of the mirror. You snorted, you had crust in your eyes and toothpaste dribbling down your chin.
“I love you.” Jungkook wrapped his arms around your waist and buried his face in your shoulder.
“Koo!” You were trying to wash your face but he was making the task a lot more difficult than it usually is. When you were done, you grabbed your towel to dry your face.
“Where are you going?” Jungkook asked as you were headed out of the bedroom.
“To wake your child.” You replied with a flat look.
“Nooooo. Don’t wake him up yet.” Jungkook whined, holding your waist to block you. You struggled against him as he teetered you back into the room, closing the door with his foot.
“Why? You know very well that if you don’t wake him, he’ll sleep forever. Proves that he really is your child.” You scoffed. Even if you were asking why, you knew very well why Jungkook didn’t want to wake your son yet. There was always a competition between father and son… over you.
“He always steals you from me.” Jungkook complained.
“He’s our son! You should have thought about that when you decided to have a kid. You should be teaching him to share.” You hit his head.
“No. No. No.” He shook his head. Every time he did that to Jin to block him on Bangtan Bombs made you laugh but now that he was doing it to you, you understood Jin’s frustration.
“Come on. He’s as grumpy as you if he wakes up hungry.” You patted his shoulder with a sigh.
“10 minutes.” Jungkook laid you on the bed, using his body weight to weigh you down. You nodded in defeat, carding your fingers through his hair.
“Are you gonna grow your hair long again?” You asked.
“Do you want me to?” He lifted his head to stare at you. You shrugged, looking away. Jungkook smiled knowingly, he knew how much you loved his long hair. You just wouldn’t admit it because you were stubborn but that didn’t stop Jungkook from teasing you. He didn’t tell you that there were already plans for him to have long hair again.
“Omma!” You heard a cry from the other room.
“I’m here, baby! Jungkook, he’s awake. Let me go.” You squirmed.
“Just come here!” Jungkook shouted, refusing to let you go since his 10 minutes was not up yet. Your 3 year old son teetered in steadily, dragging his stuffed bear by the foot.
“Omma! Mine!” He burst out crying when he saw his father hugging you. To him, you were his and not Jungkook’s.
“Good morning, baby. Did you sleep well?” You kicked Jungkook’s shin to get him away from you. He hissed, trying his best to not curse in front of the child. You bent down to pick him up to sit in your lap. He buried his face in your chest, wiping his tears on Jungkook’s shirt that you stole.
“There. There.” You stroked his head to console him, standing up to walk out of the room. Bam slowly walked by your side, trying to extend his nose to touch your son’s little foot.
“Are you hungry?” You asked, opening the fridge. That got his attention as he lifted his head to look at the fridge with wide eyes.
“Yoghurt.” He pointed.
“Okay.” You chuckled, putting him on the counter to take the yoghurt out. Grabbing his bowl, you prepared the yoghurt for him, putting some berries inside for him.
Jeon Junghyun, your 3 year old son, the baby that ‘replaced’ Jungkook. From the moment he was born, he was fated to be Jungkook’s son. Besides looking exactly the same, their personalities were so similar that it gave you a headache sometimes. They were both competitive, possessive, whiny and always hungry. It was like you were raising twin sons.
Jungkook was used to being the youngest and getting away with things but he had to ‘grow up’ to be a father all of a sudden. He still wasn’t used to it.
Pregnancy wasn’t exactly easy as well. At least for Jungkook. He developed couvade syndrome or sympathetic pregnancy, where he experienced the same or worse side effects of what you were going through.
The cravings, the nausea, the mood swings, the bloating, Jungkook went through all of that.
“Here you go.” You sat him down in his high chair and placed the bowl in front of him after fixing his bib on. Junghyun clapped and ate the delicious, sweet breakfast treat.
“Jungkook, can you watch him while I get his clothes and tidy his room?” You asked.
“Yes, ma’am.” Jungkook shuffled out of the bedroom. When he entered the kitchen, Junghyun stopped eating, staring at Jungkook cautiously.
“Can appa have a spoon, Hyunie?” Jungkook asked.
“No, Kookie. This mine.” Junghyun frowned, pointing at himself. Another thing was that Junghyun refused to call Jungkook ‘appa’, settling for Kookie after Hoseok had compared the nickname to the child’s favourite chocolate chip treat. You’ve tried to correct him but he’s stubborn.
“Not Kookie. Appa.” Jungkook corrected.
“Kookie.” Junghyun insisted. Jungkook sighed, going to the fridge to get a yoghurt cup for himself to eat. However, upon seeing his father eat his treats, Junghyun burst out crying.
“What happened?” You came out.
“I was just eating yoghurt.” Jungkook held his hands up defensively. He lifted Junghyun up from the baby seat, patting his back.
“Mine!” Junghyun cried, pointing at Jungkook’s abandoned yoghurt cup. You sighed and headed over to your son. Seeing you, he immediately reached out for you instead while Jungkook resumed eating.
“Baby, your yoghurt is here.” You lifted the bowl.
“You have to share, Junghyun ah.” Jungkook pointed his spoon at the child as he leaned back against the counter.
“Smart coming from you.” You rolled your eyes. Jungkook scoffed, continuing to eat his yoghurt. You wanted to facepalm, Jungkook wasn’t exactly helping much with the situation now. But the parent in you didn’t want Jungkook to give in to Junghyun’s crying. He had to learn to share one way of another. You brought him to the living room area.
“Why don’t you sit here and omma will eat with you?” You wiped his tears. He nodded his head, settling in your lap. You watched as he continued to haphazardly scoop the yoghurt and put it into his mouth.
“You eat so well.” You praised.
“Hyungs want to come over, if that’s fine with you?” Jungkook came to sit on the couch, phone in his hand.
“Sure. You haven’t seen them since this break started anyway.” You nodded your head. Jungkook’s band members were really nice to you and Junghyun, they were constantly offering help.
“Can I have some Junghyun?” You asked. Junghyun didn’t hesitate to hold his spoon up to you.
“What a kind boy.” You smiled.
“Wow. I know there’s differential treatment but it still hurts, Junghyun ah.” Jungkook commented from his position on the couch. You laughed, if Junghyun could talk, you knew that the two would be bickering at every moment.
It wasn’t long before the other boys came. Despite your refusal, they always came bearing lavish gifts for your son. You were definitely grateful, no doubt. But Junghyun was at the stage where he grew every day, he didn’t need branded clothes to wear one day and not fit him the next.
“Your favourite uncle is here.” Taehyung swooped in to lift a freshly showered Junghyun up. The boy burst into a fit of laughter as Taehyung continued to lift him into the air. There was always debate about favourite uncle too…
“Now’s our chance, let’s go.” Jungkook grabbed your hand.
“Koo!” You slapped his arm.
“Thanks again for cooking lunch, you two. Really, I could have made something or ordered delivery.” You said apologetically to the two oldest members in the kitchen.
“We’re here now. You can take a break and that includes one from you too.” Jin smiled at you and hit the back of Jungkook’s head.
“Let me have my chance, hyung. The kid never lets me within 20 feet of (y/n).” Jungkook complained, putting his arms around your waist to hug you tightly. Now that Junghyun was occupied, he could have you.
“Junghyun still have attachment issues?” Yoongi asked as he chopped the vegetables.
“Yeah. He and this one are constantly bumping heads with one another. Some days, it’s like taking care of 2 kids.” You pointed to Jungkook with a shake of your head. The two gave you empathetic looks, they knew Junghyun’s attachment was tough and could put a strain on the father-son relationship and the relationship between you and Jungkook as well.
DING DONG
“Sorry, I’m late. Where’s my godson?” Namjoon appeared, removing his sunglasses. You smiled and pulled him in for a hug.
After discussion, Jungkook wanted Namjoon to be Junghyun’s godfather, he idolised and learnt a lot from Namjoon. He wanted Junghyun to experience the same and look up to Namjoon as an example of success.
“You’re looking good, (y/n). It has been a while.” Namjoon complimented with a pat on your shoulder.
“Thank you. You look great too.” You laughed.
“Rapmon hyung!” Jungkook jogged over to hug the leader. The others were right, even after so long, Jungkook never stopped calling Namjoon ‘Rapmon hyung’. The habit was too hard to kill.
“Junghyun ah~” There were the signature dimples as Namjoon waved at Junghyun. Upon seeing his godfather, Junghyun quickly got out of Hoseok’s lap and ran over to hug Namjoon’s leg. He chuckled and picked him up to take a good look at him.
“You’re suddenly so big! Have you been good?” Namjoon asked as Junghyun wrapped his arms around his neck.
“I got you a gift.” Namjoon smiled, putting the child down.
“Namjoon, you shouldn’t have.”
“Anything for my godson.” They headed to the couch hand in hand. Namjoon took a familiar imperial saffron box out. For a 3 year old, Junghyun had way too much branded stuff.
“Look at this.” Namjoon lifted up the ombre denim jacket with the classic Louis Vuitton monograms printed all over for him.
“Wow.” Junghyun was in awe. Everyone cooed at his reaction.
“Thank you, daebu.” Junghyun hugged his godfather, Namjoon was happy seeing him so happy. He let Namjoon help him put it on and he spun around to show everyone, soaking in all the attention that they were giving him.
It was quite funny, Junghyun made the news when he was born not because he was Jeon Jungkook’s son but because Yoongi bought him a white Steiff x Tiffany teddy bear as his first toy. The white teddy bear is the same bear that Junghyun drags around now, although he isn’t as pristine white anymore from being dragged all over the place by the kid.
“I can’t believe he still brings Sogeum around.” Jin chuckled, referring to said white bear that was named after being the same colour as salt.
“He doesn’t go anywhere without it.”
“Honestly, I didn’t think it would be the one he brings around… I didn’t know what to get him as a ‘congrats on being born’ gift.” Yoongi rubbed the back of his neck. You went to the living room to find Bam.
“Come here, Bam-ie. You’re the only one that hasn’t been fighting for my attention, huh? Good boy.” You waved Bam over to shower him in affection.
“Excuse me. What do you mean by that?” Jungkook frowned.
“It means Bam’s the only one not giving her a hard time around here.” Jimin giggled, entering the conversation. Bam wagged his tail as Jimin stroked his head as well.
“Do you know which samchon is which?” Taehyung asked, showing Junghyun their latest group promo picture. Since Junghyun grew up around the boys, he was familiar with everyone but it was always hard for him to point them out in photos with different hairstyles, clothes and makeup.
“Daebu!” Junghyun smiled excitedly, pointing out his godfather confidently.
“That’s right!” Namjoon shook the kid by the shoulders.
“Yoomi… Hobi… Chim! Jjan… Tete!” Junghyun pointed at all the members carefully, calling each of their nicknames. It was cute that he tried to pronounce their names with his baby Korean.
“What about him?” Hoseok pointed at Jungkook’s face, noticing that he had yet to recognise his father.
“Kookie?” He tilted his head.
“Did you see that?! He knew which was me but ignored it!” Jungkook whined, shaking your arms as he told on his son to you. You threw your head back with a sigh, pinching your nose bridge.
“Alright, alright. It’s okay, Koo.” You patted his head while he pouted with a frown. He even sulks the same way as Junghyun when he’s unhappy.
“He still calls you Jjan.” You giggled to Jin as you continued to comfort Jungkook, who was just tucked under your arm as you patted his back. Seemed like there was no break from childcare for you. Jin laughed, finding it endearing how Junghyun picked up the nickname from Hoseok, that he never bothered to correct Junghyun’s pronunciation.
“The cutest is still Yoomi.” Jimin imitated the way Junghyun’s lips protruded as he struggles to pronounce ‘Yoongi’. Even Yoongi couldn’t help but smile. Your phone buzzed, making you wiggle away from Jungkook.
“Sorry. Let me take this, it’s a work call.” You went to the bedroom to answer the call when you saw that it was your work client’s number.
“Come here.” Yoongi grunted as he bent down to pick Junghyun, setting him on his lap as he sat on the couch.
“Wah.” Junghyun climbed on Yoongi, touching his coloured hair.
“They really get amused by everything.” Namjoon noted. You came back out of the room, a perplexed look on your face as you called Jungkook to the room. He immediately got worried, following you.
“What’s wrong?” He frowned, squeezing your hand.
“My client is going back to America and wants the papers sent to him now. I thought I had until the end of the week so my work laptop is at my desk in the office, not here with me.” You sighed heavily. Today was your off day so you never thought that you would be rushed to send documents over.
“So what do you want to do?” He asked. Whatever you needed, Jungkook would help you.
“I’ll need to head to the office for a bit. Do you think you and the others can watch Junghyun for a while?” You requested timidly. Jungkook’s eyes widened, the fear evident in them.
“You’ll be fine, Koo. He’s your son.” You squeezed his arm.
“My son that hates me.” He corrected.
“He doesn’t hate you, don’t say that. If you need help, you have the other 6 here to help.” You persuaded.
“Alright.” Jungkook agreed, not wanting to add more to your stress by being difficult. You were right, Junghyun is his son. He could handle him for a while. And he had his loveable uncles and godfather here to entertain him if he didn’t want Jungkook anyway. You gave Jungkook a kiss and went to get ready to head to the office.
“I’ll sneak you out.” Jungkook whispered. You nodded, following him. Luckily Jungkook’s body was big enough to cover you. The both of you stood in the hallway, hugging each other.
“I can drop you off.” Jungkook offered.
“No need. I already called a cab. Thank you.” You gave him another kiss before you left and Jungkook went back into the house.
“Some urgent work needed her. Even if it is her day off.” Jungkook told the others briefly, he didn’t want Junghyun to realise you’re gone and start crying. For now, he was still distracted by his uncles to notice.
“Lunch is almost ready.” Jin announced.
“Time to eat.” Namjoon lifted Junghyun up, going to the washroom to wash his hands before eating. Going to the dining area, Namjoon out Junghyun in his chair and put the bib on.
“I should set some food aside for (y/n). She might be hungry when she comes back.” Jungkook put some of each dish into a container, setting it aside to let it cool. He’ll put it in the fridge for you so you can heat it up later.
“Are you hungry?” Jimin asked. Junghyun grinned and nodded his head. Yoongi helped cut Junghyun’s food up in his kids tray, it was beef, vegetable fried rice and soup. The adults had an extra dish stir fried spicy pork belly too. Jungkook put Junghyun’s tray in front of him.
“Hold on. What did omma say before you eat?” Jungkook gently held Junghyun’s wrist before he could start. Junghyun blinked in confusion.
“Tha…” Namjoon tried to hint.
“Thank you for the food Yoomi samchon and Jjan samchon.” He said.
“Enjoy the food.” Yoongi said, leaning his head on his palm with an endearing smile on his face. Junghyun reminded the older members of young Jungkook sometimes, it was so adorable.
“What a good eater.” Namjoon praised, watching Junghyun shovel food into his mouth. Across the table, his father was doing to same.
“Yah. Eat properly, you need to set a good example to him.” Jin lectured Jungkook. Hoseok couldn’t help but laugh at the father and son duo, taking his phone out to take a picture of them, both faces nearly buried in their food.
“Seaweed.” Junghyun held his spoon out.
“Seaweed, please.” Taehyung corrected.
“Seaweed, please Chim samchon.” Junghyun repeated. Jimin smiled, patting his head, and opened the packet, placing the seaweed sheets onto Junghyun’s tray. Noticing that he was only eating seaweed and not touching the other food, Jungkook blocked Junghyun’s spoon with his chopsticks, making the child frown unhappily.
“Hyunie, eat the other delicious food too.” Jungkook said, putting a piece of beef onto his small spoon. In retaliation, Junghyun dropped the beef from his spoon and picked up a piece of seaweed.
“Hyunie. Eat it together with the seaweed.” Jungkook sighed.
“Let Yoomi samchon help.” Yoongi moved to stand behind Junghyun, taking some rice and beef, putting it in the middle of the seaweed sheet to make a small wrap.
“Try this?” Yoongi held it up to Junghyun’s mouth. Junghyun stared at it before he opened his mouth to eat it.
“More, please.” He looked up at his uncle that towered over him. Yoongi nodded and changed places with Jimin, who was actually sitting on the other side of Junghyun. He made multiple little wraps for Junghyun, who stuffed them into his mouth.
“Is it good?” Namjoon asked. Junghyun turned to his godfather with a nod, taking one of the wraps up to offer it to him. Smiling, Namjoon leaned down to eat one. Junghyun waited for his reaction.
“Wow! It’s delicious!” Namjoon exclaimed. Junghyun laughed at his exaggerated reaction but was happy that he liked it too.
When Junghyun was done, Yoongi and Jin brought him to the living room to play. They didn’t need to clean up since they did the cooking. The rest were still eating anyway.
“Cheese rice?” Jungkook suggested.
“Sounds good.” Hoseok nodded. With the leftover spicy pork belly, Jungkook went to the stove to add more rice and cheese.
“Add some spring onion, Jungkook ah.” Taehyung said. Jungkook went to the fridge to get spring onion and chopped it up, sprinkling it over the melted cheese. He brought the hot pan out.
“Wahhh.” The remaining members were in awe. Namjoon, who was done eating, shook his head at his members’ appetites. He brought his used cutlery to the sink to do later when the others were done and headed to the living area where the oldest and his godson were playing. The remaining 4 stayed at the table, digging into the hot melted cheese and rice.
“(y/n) alright?” Jimin asked.
“Yeah, just some work for the client last minute.” Jungkook replied. You hadn’t texted him, which he took as a good sign. Your last text to him was to let him know that you had arrived at the office.
“Poor (y/n). She’s so busy.” Taehyung pouted. Jungkook couldn’t help the possessive feeling that bubbled within him. He knew his hyungs cared for you a lot but when you were brought into conversations, he just felt uncomfortable.
“Clients are just difficult.” Hoseok said.
“Yeah…” Jungkook said, taking another bite of food. He knew he was quite possessive and shouldn’t be feeling this way.
When you just started dating him, you were very shocked when he admitted that he didn’t like you hanging out with his hyungs when he wasn’t there. He was just worried that you may leave him.
“I don’t know how I can get closer to Junghyun. Not for me, but so I can help (y/n) out.” Jungkook said, wanting some advice. Everyone got along well with his son except him and he was the father. Maybe because their personalities were too similar, it caused them to clash.
“He sees you as someone taking his mom away.” Jimin said.
“Well, she was mine first…” Jungkook scoffed.
“I saw in one of Namjoon’s parenting books that kids at his age have separation anxiety. You know, as they start to recognise their parents and stuff. Maybe Junghyun’s just going through that.” Taehyung suggested.
“Maybe… I mean, you’re hardly here when we’re promoting or touring. So I guess it’s a given that he sees you as a stranger sometimes.” Hoseok said.
“Now’s the perfect time for you to show him that he can rely on you.” Jimin patted Jungkook’s shoulder.
“Argh, it’s hard being a dad.” Jungkook groaned.
BAM!
Junghyun’s wailing filled the apartment. Jungkook stood up, going to the living room to see Namjoon picking Junghyun’s up from his fallen position on the ground to comfort him. He frowned and walked closer, he was concerned if his son was alright but he didn’t attempt to separate the two. He was worried that may just make Junghyun cry even more.
“Appa.” Junghyun saw Jungkook and reached out to him. Jungkook’s eyes widened in shock, this was the first time Junghyun called him ‘appa’. But still, he reached over to retrieve the child.
“There, there. It’s okay.” He said softly, rubbing Junghyun’s back.
“He tripped and fell.” Jin explained. Jungkook nodded, knowing that it wasn’t really anyone’s fault and he knew how cautious his hyungs were with Junghyun anyway.
“I’ll take him to the room. He could just be tired, it’s his nap time.” Jungkook said to the others before going to the room.
“Does it hurt? I know it hurts. It’s okay, Junghyun ah.” Jungkook hushed Junghyun bouncing and patting his back. He used a small towel to wipe Junghyun’s tears.
“Appa…” Junghyun rubbed his face into Jungkook’s shoulder.
“Shh.” Jungkook began to hum a soft song to calm Junghyun down enough to sleep. As Junghyun was drifting off, Jungkook sat on the bed, leaning back against the headboard with Junghyun on his chest.
Outside, the other 6 heard Junghyun’s cries die down and let out a sigh of relief. They cleaned up the kitchen and washed the dishes. Namjoon picked up Sogeum and headed to the room to give it to Junghyun. However, he was not expecting to see the father and son asleep. He placed the bear down and left.
“They’re asleep. Maybe we should go.” Namjoon said to the others. They nodded in agreement and got ready to leave.
“Junghyun called Jungkook ‘appa’. After 3 years.” Jimin noted with a giggle.
“I was shocked. And I think Jungkook was too.” Yoongi said, fiddling with his beanie. They all left the house, not before writing a note to Jungkook and leaving it on the table.
When you came back, the house was dark and quiet, only Bam came to greet you. You turned the lights on, put your bag down and headed to the kitchen. You spotted a note on the dining table addressed to Jungkook.
“Where are they?” You checked Junghyun’s room but it was empty. You headed into your bedroom to look for Jungkook.
“Woah.” You couldn’t believe your eyes. Junghyun was asleep on Jungkook’s chest. Jungkook was fast asleep, one hand resting on his son’s back. You lightly pinched yourself, wondering if this was a dream. What happened while you were gone that caused this? You left the room to call Namjoon, hoping he had an explanation for their sudden closeness.
“Yeah. He cried and called for Jungkook, calling him ‘appa’. Jungkook took him to the room to calm him down and I guess, they both fell asleep like that. So we left the house.”
“Wow… I mean, this is good but I’m shocked.” You chuckled.
“You’re not the only one.”
“Well, thank you for coming and hanging with Junghyun. I’ll see you soon, Namjoon.” You said and hung up. Going to the fridge, you saw that there were some leftovers with your name on it so you heated that up to eat.
“I won’t forget you, Bam-ie.” You made his dinner, letting him eat when you sat at the kitchen counter to eat your own food.
“Jagi?” You heard Jungkook’s hoarse, sleep-filled voice.
“In the kitchen.” You replied. He shuffled over, smiling sleepily when he saw you. He came over to hug you, nuzzling his face into your neck.
“Why didn’t you wake me up? I could have accompanied you so you didn’t have to eat alone.” Jungkook said, taking a seat beside you. You chuckled, running your fingers through his hair as you ate with your other hand. He kept his arms around your waist.
“You were sleeping so soundly with Junghyun. I didn’t want to wake my boys up. Anyway, I’m not alone, Bam’s keeping me company too. We’re enjoying our dinner together.” You explained.
“Right…” He yawned.
“I’ll cook something for you and Junghyun after this.” You informed. He nodded his head.
“Jagi?”
“Hmm?”
“Junghyun called me ‘appa’…”
“I heard. Tell me about it.” You encouraged. Even if you knew what happened from Namjoon already, you wanted Jungkook to tell you himself, to share how he felt about that.
“It was nice. He wanted me to comfort him, like he relied on me when he was hurt.” Jungkook explained.
“I’m glad you and him had that progression, Koo. See? I told you he doesn’t hate you, he knows you’re his dad and he knows that he can count on you too. He’ll probably start warming up to you a lot more now, look to you for comfort and start opening up with time.” You chuckled. Jungkook nodded in agreement. He was excited about this.
“I finally feel like I’m stepping into this dad role.” Jungkook confessed, rubbing the back of his neck with a sheepish smile. You smiled, leaning in to give him a kiss and a proper hug.
“I’m happy to hear that.” You said.
“Come here.” Jungkook put his arms around your waist to bring you over to sit on his lap.
“Think you can appear on that celebrity dad show? Return of Superman? You’ll just need to watch Junghyun for 48 hours without me.” You suggested. Jungkook gave you a flat look.
“Okay, don’t get too excited. The guy called me ‘appa’ for the first time in 3 years. We still have a long way to go.” He sighed.
“It’s a goal to work towards!”
“Who knows, the moment he sees you when he wakes up, I become invisible again. Mothers will always rank first before fathers.” Jungkook shrugged as he stated the truth.
“Look I know that you wanted Namjoon to be his godfather because you wanted Junghyun to have someone to look up to and all that. But more than anything, I want Junghyun to know that he can look up to you. You’re a great role model and I think Junghyun can learn a lot from you.” You said.
“Even if I’m immature sometimes? And can get a little too competitive?” He tilted his head.
“Even so. I think you’re great at what you do and you can teach our child to be just as strong as you when he gets older. You already have the looks down and the competitiveness, so you’re halfway there.” You winked.
“That’s hyungs’ fear, that Junghyun becomes a mini me when he starts hitting the gym. He’ll bully them like I do.” He giggled. You slapped his arm.
“You bully your hyungs all the time with your muscles when they’re nothing but nice to you.” You rolled your eyes.
“But…”
“But?”
“I’m still not letting him have you. You’re mine and you were mine first. So if he thinks I’ll just let him claim you as his, he has another thing coming.” Jungkook declared with a pout.
“Alright. You can continue to fight with him over that, I shall not get involved. You two are always going to compete over everything.” You rolled your eyes.
“Of course. When it comes to you, it’s always a competition. But that goes without saying that I’m already winning. I am many years ahead of him.” He held your chin, pulling you closer to press his lips against yours to give you a loving kiss.
~~
Ko-fi
Masterlist
Tag List 1
@veronawrites @diamonddia-mond @georgie-me-myself-i @nlost21 @aqueenieme @nello-rie @ireallylikeyourwriting @imascreamerbabymakemeamute @kimahnjung98 @kimmieloveswho @aianloveseven @pb-n-juju @myggummy @baby-noodles @bt21chim @cait-with-luv @limiworld @321clockworkangels @greezenini @min-tata @interactive-brain @bbgniecyy @dreamingofonceuponatime @black-rose-29 @wordsaremyswords @shmaptainbonky @ifellinluvwithdorks @rae-sparda @yeontanismypresident @loisje123 @bordxrcarnival @mamemimoimoi @skyys-universe @carolinexkpop @vishakhas-world @biofain @f3rsispot @danny-boy27 @ithtefani @marvelovernfan @duhitzronalyn @lovelyloverlia @bbyjoonies @yoongisbbygirl06 @cuteipat @nerdsummeroldie @vintageroses10 @needyomnivore @rjsmochii
#bts#bts scenarios#bts imagines#bts x reader#bts x you#bts x y/n#jeon jungkook#jungkook#jungkook scenarios#JK#JJK#jungkook x you#jungkook x reader#bts imagine#comedy#romance#dad!jungkook#dad!jk
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The boys goofing off behind the scenes of The Comedy of Terrors (1963)
Vincent Price under a ladder, catching salt, spilled by Basil Rathbone as a black cat crosses Peter Lorre's path, and Boris Karloff is breaking a mirror.
#vincent price#boris karloff#peter lorre#basil rathbone#horror legends#the Comedy of Terrors#comedy of terrors#bts#behind the scenes#photo#photo edit by me#i fucking love these guys#this is the best thing ever#superstition#black cat#cat#horror#old horror movies#vintage#movie#actor#handsome#vinny is so sexy sitting there...#such long sexy legs
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Behind the Scenes of Glass Onion: A Knives Out Mystery (2022)
#glass onion#knives out#rian johnson#bts#daniel craig#benoit blanc#janelle monae#edward norton#film#movies#cinematography#mystery#comedy#crime
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My Little Saesang (Part 1)
chubby reader x idol jungkook
Summary: Y/N had been a super fan for a while. Some would say bordering on saesang or creep level. She didn't think she was one, till she experienced an incident that made her stop being a fan. She had never thought that Jungkook or any of BTS ever noticed her, as she was part of the masses of obsessive fans. But they had. Especially, one doe eyed idol in particular. He never thought he would miss his fan, or shall we say saesang. Yet, he couldn't help but notice her absence. And he didn't know when her presence started to matter to him so much.
Disclaimer: The Jungkook represented in this fic does not reflect the true actions or thoughts of the real life Jungkook. Please treat this fic as exactly what it is, fiction
Triggers: Critique of fandom culture and kpop as a whole, identity crisis, eventual smut
Note: Not proofread. Slated to be approximately 4 parts or less.
"Y/N, what the hell are you still doing in that cafe? Didn't we come over here to spy on Jungkook at his house before he heads off to M-CountDown for his performance? I don't remember scheduling a pit-stop for you to have a second lunch", Kim-Hee glared down at me through her thick framed black glasses that honestly sort of made her look like a sexy principal. Anger at being diverted from her goal of catching the tan pop-star in his sweaty excellence seemed to cloud her vision.
I retorted back with a snort, "You know me very well at this point, after being my fellow saesang comrade in arms for close to 2 years girl. I am digesting my food baby as we speak and will soon be ready for delivery in that nasty garbage ass smelling toilet. I have a date with the shits, so to speak. Don't you see that my jeans are popped open and the zip down ready to go. I don't got the energy to chase this man today. Our stunt at New York was bad enough, don't you think"? Shaking my head at her idiocy even after knowing me for so long, I exclaimed, "Feel free to chase him in time for his ending fairy if you feel like it though. I am just not feeling it today".
Kim Hee, my bestie, stared at me with squinted eyes, black tiny eyes glittering in the harsh sun, "Girl, you were the one who had this all scheduled out a month back? How could you not bloody commit at the crucial time!!!! Our fucking junior fans are counting on your stupid ass". I waved my right at her in dismissal, ramen sauce covering my lips like a new Fenty lipstick that I just could not afford right now with my measly ass job as janitor at KBS.
I snarled back in irritation, "Tell those kids to go and study in college, that's more important than following his dumb ass anyways. He won't remember them for their troubles. At max, he will remember a few fans from their initial debut days , get married to a rich ass plasticky actress, have beautiful spoiled kids, and die a rich philanthropist. Saesangs don't get paid if you catch my point. Honestly, if it paid as a job, I would consider it. But I think I may have to retire". I patted my distended stomach in contentment, satisfied with the first proper meal I had in 3 days, stalking JK with my team all over New York and then catching a flight to Korea for his album showcase.
My bestie stared at me now in shock, with wide eyes, hands waving in the air, clearly confused at my statements, "Didn't you just say a week ago that this was all worth it? That supporting our faves, especially BTS, and the lord and savior himself , Jungkook, was a noble passion to pursue? Why have you suddenly done a 180 on us and him like this"? I flinched visibly at her reminder of what I used to be and who I used to be. The person she described felt foreign to me now. Ever since I opened my eyes and saw what fans, especially super fans like us, who didn't have a life outside of BTS suffered, I was a reformed woman. A reformed woman who had decided as of now to save all my money for some botox and a dental appointment, some clothes for mom and dad, and a hot meal for my younger sister. I was going to go from being a crysallis to a butterfly. In essence, I was going to woman the fuck up. That's what the fuck I was about to do with my life.
With this aim in mind, I slammed my fist against the plastic table, startling Kim Hee. "Bestie, you never got close enough to JK to see how much he hated it, okay? He hated us in those moments that we invaded his privacy. Remember that one time I snuck up on the set of them filming "Black Swan" to give him a godiva chocolate my mom had brought back from Sweden?" Kim Hee nodded in assent, clearly knowing how much of big deal it was for me to part with food of any kind, for any reason, for anyone (Even my own family). I loved luxury chocolate and food in general. Nobody could rip it out of my hands , as evidenced by Kim Hee and all our friends in middle school when I slapped a guy stupid and hit him in the nuts for taking a ferrero rocher out of my hands---the motherfucker.
I continued ,"Well I gave it to his hands while he was waiting outside at the entrance of the set. Even normies like me are allowed on that area, it was not a restricted filming area. I just left the chocolate next to where he was sitting, with a red bow (his name engraved on it) wrapped around it. He legit stared at me in confusion, like he had not seen me for the past 9 years, sneered at me, disdain in his beady black eyes and threw the chocolate in the dustbin like it was as figment of his imagination". Kim Hee stared at me in dismay, clearly knowing that what I considered the foremost cardinal sin in life was throwing away food, particularly expensive food.
I wrung my hands in the air, holding in my tears, "Bestie, it was white chocolate, do you understand? It was limited christmas edition. I could never afford that chocolate in my dreams , if not for one of mom's colleagues gifting it to her. Chili ,(my sister) was yapping about it for days, salivating, thinking she could bite into it. And I sacrificed it to an undeserving multi millionaire". I sat back down on the bench, numbly, tears streaming down my face. I was so done with him and the entire group at this point. I understand that what we do, Saesangs, stalkers, whatever they like to call us, is not correct. We should not be so invasive. But I always told the kids who followed in my footsteps that we could support them, but just not to the point that we impinged on their personal lives. I had done some fucked up things as a newbie army, but two years into their debut, I understood that limits were required.
The most I had ever done since then, was to gift the members things as a fan. Whatever I could afford. Whether that was their favorite convenience store snack left by us on the set of one of their music video shoots. Or a pack of gum or their favorite desserts when we attended fan meets. I and the girls who followed me on these adventures, as I used to call them, never snuck into HYBE. We were of the more benign variety, not on par with the crazies who took the same flight as them (not that I could afford that), or collected saliva, sweat, and urine samples. For goodness sakes, we didn't even run after their vehicles, we just waved politely and jumped up and down like rabid dogs that had treats waved in their faces.
The moment I was compelled to stop following my fave, or I guess my former bias as of now, was simply when he casually looked at the chocolate I had left next to him as though it were poison, and tossed it in the trash without looking back. That was when I knew, I was worthless in his eyes, along with the rest of the fans who tried so hard.
We shelled out money saved up from little jobs and pocket money accumulated for months together, to buy expensive albums, merchandise, and anything else they put out. We forgo the little luxuries like nicer shoes and warmer coats in winter to buy tickets for outdoor showcases and shiver in the cold wind to just catch a glimpse of one of their half smiles. We stream their music that speaks of love that we do not comprehend, love whose face is so unfamiliar in our youth that we would pass it by as though it were a stranger. When we don't have anyone in our lives to hug us and hold us and kiss us, to wipe our tears and pat us on the back when we are down and to tell us that everything will be alright, we stare at them in the tabloids extrapolating who they could be in love with, fantasizing about a love that could never be ours. We live our lives, living for them, living around them as though we are satellites caught int he orbit of a bigger planet, and now, it does not make sense to me anymore.
It may just be a chocolate, stupid worthless and insignificant to him. It may be cheap, a show of cheap love that he wishes to spit on. But it wasn't cheap to me. My love wasn't cheap. Food isn't cheap, especially food bestowed with love. And I was done giving my love away for free, as though it meant nothing. As though it were a cheap cigarette to be smoked and discarded, ground under the foot of someone who had finished using it for a fleeting high. Cheap and dispensable and convenient, that's what we were, what I had become.
I cringed internally as my gaze redirected towards Kim Hee. I croaked out in determination while chewing on the remnants of soggy ramyun, "We are done babe. I am through with this horrible, parasitic relationship. I am going to figure out how to make myself rich or get rich through marriage. I am done being stupid, falling over myself for a guy or a group of guys who don't see or appreciate me. They get rich on my desperation, and I don't wish to give them that power anymore".
#jungkook x reader#bts x reader#chubby reader#monologue#dramatic#angst#comedy#jungkook x curvy reader#jungkook x plus size reader#jungkook x chubby reader#bts x curvy reader#bts x plus size reader#bts x chubby reader
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