Not everyone understands what it's like to go through mental health struggles. It's not as easy as just "trying harder." I've tried harder than most people, and it just wasn't working. Read about my experience with medication for my anxiety, C-PTSD, and depression, and how my medication changed my life for the better.

STOP FIGHTING THE UPHILL BATTLE

𝑻𝒉𝒆 𝒎𝒂𝒈𝒊𝒄 𝒊𝒏 𝒇𝒆𝒎𝒊𝒏𝒊𝒏𝒆 𝒅𝒊𝒗𝒏𝒊𝒕𝒊𝒕𝒚, 𝒌𝒖𝒏𝒅𝒂𝒍𝒊𝒏𝒊 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒄𝒂𝒄𝒂𝒐- 𝒃𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒕𝒉𝒘𝒐𝒓𝒌 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒎𝒆𝒅𝒊𝒕𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏… 𝒊𝒏 𝒍𝒐𝒗𝒆, 𝒔𝒂𝒄𝒓𝒆𝒅𝒍𝒚 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉 𝒎𝒚𝒔𝒆𝒍𝒇 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝑷𝒂𝒄𝒉𝒂𝒎𝒂𝒎𝒂.

We have to get back to forming loving relationships with end goal being to start a family and raise healthy, whole children. If you don’t want this or missed your chance and don’t care to course correct…we’re not talking to you! Just be quiet 🤫 and allow the people who want this healing to get it. #healthyrelationships #lovingrelationships #sacredunion #spiritualunion #wellness #blackwomenhealing #selfwork #selfwareness #holisticselflove #sacredselfcare #darkfeminineconsciousness (at Jamaica) https://www.instagram.com/p/CjIeLjkNm4J/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

being self reliable is great

It makes me more comfortable knowing that no matter who i am what i do what i say or express i will still get judged. Yes its annoying but its something i have no power over, and its better to know that im the one that chooses to stay open minded and not jump to conclusions when it comes to other people, it definitely makes my mind a lot calmer. Thats why choosing to be your best, true and authentic self while accepting others will be judgemental of you either way is a lot better than trying to fit yourself into spaces where you dont belong and pretending youre someone youre not and being judged nevertheless. Letting yourself be percieved and talked about while KNOWING and being unshaken in your self-concept is a powerful move. Because people will talk, and throwing shade over your person wont add anything meaningful into their life other than being not satisfied with themselves.

☆ Disappointment ☆

Disappointment is a wondersome and often misunderstood teacher. 

There are many layers and subtleties to its gifts of insight into my unhelpful beliefs, forgotten pain, behavioral and thought patterns, and my sweet little girl‘s longings that remained unfulfilled. Illuminating attachments in need of attention, transformation, or release. Alerting me to contractions, stuck energy, and tensions alive in my body. 

Inviting me to become intimate with the complex ways I create experiences which are unfulfilling and fall short of meeting my needs and wants, to gently coax out the parts who due to invisibility and neediness sabotage my ability to perceive all of the layers of an experience, to be still and listen to their pleas and complaints. Inviting me to observe the gentle and playful reparenting my inner father and mother bring to these voices and my little girl. Inciting and honing my creativity in finding means of fulfilling my needs internally with more skill and playfulness. 

An invitation to lean into a bigger YES to life, to gently melt tensions, apprehensions, and resistance, and reminder that 'resistance is futile' and unloving when the Universe is teaching me lessons in receptivity to its abundance and unconditional love. 

Becoming stronger and clearer thanks to disappointment, the light bringer and liberator.

Art: 'I Have Finally Arrived' by José Cacho

Source: https://venuskind.de/2023/02/disappointment/

Practice living Now: Being present, current and aware of the moment that is happening in the current time, space and place you are in. Practice being grateful, being aware of what's going on in your mind and life, being conscious of what's happening for you, practice showing up for yourself now. Being present will help you to live FULL OUT right now without living too far in the past (stuck/stagnant) or living too far out into the future (usually leads to anxiety). When you live in your "now" you are bringing a sense of stillness, peace, inner healing and transformation to your life experience, and allowing yourself the time and space to choose what you want to learn, how you feel, and how you show up for yourself and also for others. ✨️ . . . #AwakenToYourTruth #bepresent #present #presence #awareness #selfawareness #awakening #peace #innerpeace #peaceofmind #stillness #calmness #innerhealing #innerwork #selfworth #selfwork #selfcare #mindsetmatters #mindsetshift #trainyourmind #inspiration #elevation #transformation #transformationcoach #mindsetcoach https://www.instagram.com/p/ClsTo43uOR6/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

"Two of a Mind," one of my favorite pieces. I'm migrating my website to Shopify so currently the site is down for that. Check back later to see the new site!

https://www.trashclown.com

Do your shadow work based on your Pluto placement (more so house and aspects)

why?

Pluto is a planet or destruction,it’s where we sabotage and destroy ourselves but it’s also the planet of regeneration and true power!

Recognize what you’ve destroyed within yourself and from then on use that to claim your biggest strength and to meet a much more powerful version of yourself .

With this comes great need for responsibility,self-discipline,focus and finding your morals.

Attaining this power should not be abused and wrongfully manipulated,you will ultimately lose that power.

Plutos also the planet of obsession and creating an obsession will give you no good.

Om Grahapataye Namah Om Kleem Mahakalika Namah Om Sham Sanescharya Namah Aum Aing Saraswathye Namah 🙏

Beaming (the book) is coming out soon -> https://lnk.to/beaming

A collection of my work :) filled with messages of hope, resilience, and joy incorporated into radiant art, with each image offering the reader an opportunity for deep contemplation and introspection. The imagery is paire­­­d with dozens of guided mindfulness, journaling, and breathwork exercises to deepen the interactive experience.

Sometimes you have to prove to yourself to prove yourself

I'll never pretend it's easy, or try to sell you a quick fix. Living well takes discipline, courage, and a deep love for oneself. We'll get there. I believe in you.

Read more here: https://wisterianwoman.com/2023/04/17/its-hard/

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Are you more than the less you're not willing to settle for?

I finished day 3 of 5 today @tonyrobbins Unshakeable. It’s incredible. *JUST DO IT! ♥️🤘 #unshakeable #seminar #energy #tonyrobbins #selfwork #selflove #limitingbeliefs #design #music #mindfulness #energy #life #transformation #sayyes #massiveaction #massivesuccess #changeyourstorychangeyourlife #makeyourworstdayyourbestday #LOVE #ART #BREAKTHROUGH (at Chicago, Illinois) https://www.instagram.com/p/Cn5OpdGPhRr/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

Doing the work. 2022 was tough. I put a lot behind me. I continued battling daily depression and found a better therapist. I took great headshots. Awarded a spot in two writing classes and started writing fiction. Decided to direct a short film. Found new blood family. Let go of some other people who I once thought of as family. Had some breakthrough auditions. Job interviews that weren't meant to be. New clients who affirmed me. Found some great thrift deals on furniture and clothes. Started teaching adolescents writing again. 😊 Wrote a few first drafts...and created fabulous #worksinprogress that brought others JOY. Had some disappointing dating experiences. Broke bread with new people. Listened to several audiobooks. Moved to a place of my own for first time in several years. Invested my the Brown Bomber my faithful old man. (2006 SUV) Treated myself Celebrated myself. Loved myself. Battled my inner critic. Again. Created an extended story bible and blueprint pitch deck that framily helped me perfect. Battled procrastination. Again. Got a lawyer for my writing. Mourned losses of great people. Accepted blessings. Saw fabulous theater in Los Angeles, New York, and Atlanta. Fell in love with New York again. 💕 Reaffirmed my journey... Celebrated how far I've come... Reminded myself to stand in #gratitude Looking forward to the next adventures in Kaypri Land. 🌟💫🌃💥💥 🔥 🔥 💯 ❤🧡💛🙆🏽‍♀️🙆🏽‍♀️🙆🏽‍♀️🧘🏽‍♀️🫂 🌎 #homework #selfwork #creativework #relationshipwork #internationalwork #lifeswork #dothework #2023 #headzaintready But #iam 🙏🏾 https://www.instagram.com/p/Cm1r3kFuoBF/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=