James *watching Gossip Girl*: Huh... I wonder where Penn Badgley is now

Barty *smirks*: He's in You

James *horrified*: Ex- excuse me (lip trembling)

Regulus: Barty (glares at the Barty in question) means he's in a show, called "You"

James: Oh. What is it about?

Barty and Evan at the same time: Love

James, walks away: Hmm. Think I'll give it a try

Regulus: ...you two deserve eachother

Evan: Hey.... Atleast the second season is (grins)

Regulus *so done*

Barty and Evan *cackling*

barty would 100% be the dude who types out messages then deletes them over and over again at 2 am without ever sending them to evan. but he does it on snapchat so evan will get the “barty is typing…” notification and know he was thinking about him.

barty would do this over and over again to get evan’s attention without ever actually saying anything and one day evan would just say “barty what the fuck do you want” and barty would be like hell ya mission successful

Barty- Im just saying, frogs are basically like reverse mermaid transformation right? I think theyd make good singers

Regulus, on the verge of tears or several illegal hexes- I asked if you wanted milk in your tea

Barty- Oh yeah, chocolate please

Regulus turning to Evan- What do you see in him, truly.

Evan, shrugging- Hes fun- oh and not to mention he has a big fat coc-

Regulus screaming in french, storms out of the doorm

Dorcas stepping into the room- Why is Regulus screaming about drowning himself in the black lake?

Evan and Barty- Haha Mood.

Barty probably had a time turner because he did all of his OWLs (kinda like Hermione did) and i 100% bet that he fucked with people all the time because of it,

like,

Barty, walking into a classroom after Regulus saw him walking in the courtyard out the window:

Regulus: where the fuck did you come from?

Barty: what do you mean?

Regulus: I just saw you-

Barty: you're delusional Regulus

Regulus: I swear-

Barty: ✨delusional✨

Regulus “Meow-cturus” Black:

Regulus would make this & give it to Barty & Evan as an a housewarming gift with the lil surprise.

Dorcas: Barty would throw himself in front of a car for you.

Evan: Barty would throw himself in front of a car just for fun.

Barty sucks at this therapy thing:

Barty hates therapy, or whatever the fuck this is supposed to be. Sure he didn’t mind answering a few questions in the beginning, but Jesus it felt like he had been there for hours already and the man did not stop questioning him. Besides, the questions just kept getting dumber. 

“When do you most feel like yourself?” What the fuck was he supposed to answear? “When I feel like beating the shit out of people who ask me stupid shit like that.” He didn’t say that, obviously, even he had enough of a self preservation instinct to know that it was not the way to get the fuck out of there. So he played into it, regretfully.

“What brings you peace?” Doctor Lupin asks him.

Barty is so done with his philosophical questions. How the fuck is he supposed to know what to say to that? He has no idea what peace feels like, has never experienced it one day in his life.

New chapter from: The Devil in your eyes

I'm crying because of my talented friends. All I can do is make them gifs about their writing ❤️

rosekiller has such a chokehold on me. idk there's something about two menaces falling in love and consistently being destructive to everything except said love

James: KEY LIME PIE IS CHEESECAKE

Regulus: Baby...

Peter: PrOnGs! How could you?

James: Pete! There's no difference other than what? Cream cheese?

Peter: YES!

James: SO ONE INGREDIENT IN A RECIPE HAS A WHOLE NEW NAME because of... ONE ingredient?!

Barty: ... He's got you there buddy

Evan: Good job Jamie boy

Peter: WHERE DID YOU TWO COME OUT OF

*Barty with a flashlight on him, whispers*: We are always there Candyman. Alwayssss thereeee

Barty, taking a break from homework- I think Evan would make a good god

Dorcas- Bee, dearest, we are all well aware of Rosier's god complex and your penchant for worship, but I am being frank when I say the world would crumble.

Barty leaning on Evan- Oh but what a way to go, wouldn't you like that dear?

Evan, now bright red - You'd be my favorite worshiper. I would even let this pitiful world go on if it would please you mi cielito

Regulus- There is no god for the fact you two exist in the same era as I

Pandora- Oh but if Evan wasn't here, then I wouldn't be either

Regulus- So I was doomed from the start then?

⚞ jegulus microfics masterlist ⚟

{ the full tag } *= nsfw

⚞ random ⚟

inside* — bottom James taking care of you* — daddy James, brat Regulus needy* — james desperate for something in his mouth

⚞ july (2023) prompts ⚟

kitchen — Regulus + drunk!James inspire — the hickeys microfic transform — late night superhero chats crown — prince Reg, stable boy James ignite — pro quidditch boyfriends (ft. Rosekiller) silver — Regulus finds something he shouldn't {pt.1} climb — Jegulus wedding {pt.2} champagne — Sirius finds out at brunch final — Jegulus dads 1; Harry's birthday

⚞ august (2023) prompts ⚟

swear* — James being sooo good constant — emo little love confession reputation — assassin Regulus {pt.1} sweet — Jegulus dads 2; family outing pain — an unexpected morning burn* — wartime Jegulus sneaking around stimulate — cheeky and domestic boyfriends tattoo* — Reg gets a surprise for James impulse — assassin Regulus {pt.2} rain — Jegulus dads 3; playing outside in the rain home — college/uni au boyfriends jealous — jealous & mildly violent bbg James snow cone — Jegulus dads 4; ice cream truck shenanigans hockey — figure skater Regulus/hockey player James {pt.1} attention — needy boyfriend Regulus book* — James distracts Regulus from reading stag — forbidden forest mishaps unexpected — a soft piano moment fresh start — coffee shop au ft. firefighter James {pt.1} birthmark* — Regulus takes care of James after a long day hallway — sweet moments alone vulnerable* — James gives Regulus needed stress relief stomachache* — quick excuses 101 with Regulus skirt — just banter & sweetness gold — firefighter james episode 2: being a menace {pt.2} crow — deep pillow talk with Jegulus shade — fame au; secret moments {pt.1} injury + walk — Jegulus dads 5; cheering Harry up sleep — soft sleepover chats takeout — jealous James ft. slightly meddling Wolfstar

⚞ september (2023) prompts ⚟

school — uni/college au (mentioned sexual content) piercing* — Regulus comes home with a new surprise early* — shower shenanigans with Jegulus colorful — fame au; drunk james facetime calls {pt.2} carry — wedding night sweetness pleasure* — painting the walls and other activities vision — fame au; famous bf’s on premiere night {pt.3} want — figure skater Regulus/hockey player James {pt.2}

⚞ october (2023) prompts ⚟

cemetery — playing arrogant games (cw: murder, blood) lantern — firefighter james vs. his beef with the month of october {pt.3} zombie — scare maze shenanigans (mild sexual content) scream — fame au; ‘you could have been in scream?’ edition {pt.4} eerie — literal haunted house date: 0/10, james would not recommend pumpkin — Jegulus dads 6; family pumpkin carving silliness party — halloween party flirting between a nightmare and a zombie scared — firefighter james & “firefighter” regulus {pt.4}

⚞ december (2023) prompts ⚟

snow — firefighter james & his grumpy boyfriend ft. an annoying fire alarm {pt.5}

⚞ january (2024) prompts ⚟

switch* — inappropriate secret activities at the brunch table withdrawal — fame au; cranky movie star missing his bf {pt.5} converse — Jegulus dads 7; going through Harry’s baby stuff tough — assassin Regulus {pt.3} cry — Jegulus dads 8; getting in trouble at school dinner — Jegulus dads 9; fighting off bad dreams

⚞ february (2024) prompts ⚟

tear — college/uni au; boyfriend distractions in the library

⚞ march (2024) prompts ⚟

pool — regulus’ half-drunk staring to getting flirted with pipeline sugar — Jegulus dads 10; sugar high with a five year old birthday — Jegulus dads 11; birthday morning wake up with waffles

⚞ april (2024) prompts ⚟

forbid — dad james meets harry's favorite librarian (1/2) slap — dad james & librarian regulus: flirting edition (2/2)

god your rosekiller is so fucking good in ohb like they really are the main characters in my mind

they are just SO much like, they started at a 10 and they have only kept going

it's gonna be so weird writing them apart

but also love the idea of forcing Evan on some new people

he is truly a MENACE *affectionate*

Random Rosekiller Headcanons I have bc I'm bored:

Evan has like really bad circulation so he's like ALWAYS cold

Evan's taller

Barty is like a little menace and Evan likes to just sit there and watch (and yeah, sometime he'll join)

Evan had loved Barty for like forever but it took Barty literal years to figure it out and quickly made his move but Evan did not catch on to Barty liking him until he was like, literally kissing him

Barty originally fell for Regulus which like broke Evan

They both actively tried to summon ghosts

day 10 - rosekiller - trying on costumes (with a lil twist ofc)

small one shot - 408 words

The man wearing a long white mask continues to advance in his direction with a knife in his hand, he tilts his head dangerously, the open mouth looking like a cruel smile on his face. "Please." Evan whimpers, putting his hands up in an attempt to beg for mercy. He keeps retreating as the figure slowly advances in his direction, toying with the knife in their fingertips with practised ease. "I'll do anything you want," he promises. "Just don't kill me." Evan lets out a loud yelp when his back hits the wall, his heartbeat increasing in fear and anticipation. The man takes the mask one-handed as soon as he comes closer and Evan's breath catches on his chest when he meets wicked forest green eyes. "Anything?" He taunts. Evan nods dumbly, his brain trying to connect the menacing figure that had been approaching him with the most gorgeous man he had ever seen. "Then I guess I want you to buy me this fantasy," his boyfriend smiled at him boyishly. "Don't you think I make for a hot Ghostface?" Fuck. Evan was so screwed. "The hottest," he agreed. "Were you scared, babe?" Barty teased him, mockingly caressing his chin. "I told you I wanted to surprise you." Evan pushed him away playfully. "As if. I knew it was you the whole time." Barty laughed. "Uhum, I'mma pretend I believe you." Evan was about to pull him down for a kiss, after all, Barty did look good in his Halloween fantasy when he noticed why he had previously thought this wasn't a joke. "Is that a real knife?" He asked in disbelief. Barty shrugged like it wasn't a big deal. "Yep, gotta make it believable." Evan's mouth dropped open. "You've gotta be kidding me." But again what should he have expected from Barty? This was exactly the type of shit he would pull. "What? Do you think it's too much?" He frowned as he raised the knife to eye level and inspected it to see what was wrong with it. Evan laughed. "Nope. You should hold it while we walk to Reg's house for the party, I'm sure you'll scare everyone." Barty seemed pleased by that, nothing excited him more than fucking with other people. What he didn't know was that Evan was already planning his revenge. Perhaps a fake cop would appear just in time to catch Barty with an actual weapon walking after kids on Halloween.

i absolutely ADORE your rosekiller headcanon about doing the devils tango in public places and i just love them iverall, but i cant help but think of how utterly insufferable they would be if they were real

naurr literally i would be sooooo over it if i was in the bar post breaking the seal, trying not to piss my pants bc they're too busy fucking in the only bathroom in the establishment like 😭 menaces fr