Blades & Knock Out Roommates Headcanon As Incorrect Quotes
(changed a few words for some of these, mostly just to make it make sense)
TW: Drug mentions, sex mentions, swearing, typical incorrect quotes things they get crazy man
Blades: I literally cannot believe I let you talk me into this.
Knock Out: I literally said “I have an idea,” and you just went along with it without question.
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Blades: Are you mad?
Knock Out: No.
Blades: So sharpening your knives at 3 in the morning is just a hobby?
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Blades: What the frag? People actually tell their crushes they like them??
Knock Out: What the Pit do you do?
Blades: I die? What kinda question…
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Blades: *banging a pen on the table out of frustration*
Knock Out: Stop that. How would YOU feel if I banged you on the table?
Blades: I—
Blades: I don’t know the correct answer to that question.
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Knock Out: I type how I think.
Blades: Odd that you type at all then.
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Knock Out: There are some things beyond our understanding. We must accept them and learn from them. Because these moments of crisis are also potential moments of faith. A time, when we either come together or fall apart. Nature always has a way of balancing itself. The only question is, what part will we play?
Blades: Did you just make that up?
Knock Out: No. I read it in a fortune cookie once.
Blades:
Knock Out: A really long fortune cookie.
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Knock Out: My friends say I’m the most charismatic out of the group.
Blades: Well, you always have a smile on your face.
Knock Out: Thank you.
Blades:
Blades: What drugs do you take?
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Blades: What’s your body count?
Knock Out: Do you mean sex or murder?
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Blades: Look Knock Out, I’m not slut shaming you but…
Blades: Actually yeah, I’m TOTALLY slut shaming you.
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Knock Out: *pulls back the curtain while Blades is showering*
Knock Out: Hey did we — stop screaming it’s me — did we run out of Energon-Os?
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Knock Out: I know every song to ever exist it doesn’t matter if it’s from the past, present or the future.
Blades: Oh yeah? Then continue this.
Blades: I don’t cook I don’t clean—
Knock Out: So let me tell you how I got this ring.
Knock Out & Blades: …..
Knock Out & Blades: GOBBLE ME, SWALLOW ME-
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Knock Out: You are a solid 11/10.
Blades: Aw, thank-
Knock Out: Which is a 1.1 because you look like scrap.
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Knock Out: I have lots of friends!
Blades: Name one.
Knock Out: Well, there’s—
Blades: Name one you haven’t gotten incredibly angry at.
Knock Out: Hey, that’s not fair, then there isn’t any!
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Blades: This is horrible! This is the most humiliating thing to ever happen to me!
Knock Out: Oh-? Even more humiliating than-
Blades: We are not doing this!
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Knock Out: Blades! For the love of Primus, please turn down that music. I have a hangover.
Blades: *blasting the mii theme at full volume* That sounds like a you problem, not a mii problem.
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Knock Out: Blades, what are you doing tomorrow?
Blades: Having my day ruined by whatever you’re about to ask me to do.
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Blades: *eating a cinnamon roll*
Knock Out: Cannibalism.
Blades: *confused chewing noises*
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Blades, very tired: Can I sleep in your berth?
Knock Out: *half asleep* Blades, this is a queen-sized berth. That means it’s for *gestures vaguely to himself* the Queen.
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Blades: The universe is cold and unforgiving. The only constant is chaos.
Knock Out: Was that place out of chocolate chip pancakes again?
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Blades: Okay, two person huddle.
Knock Out: You can’t huddle with two people. This is just a hug.
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Knock Out: So I got this amazing plan!
Blades: We fail almost every time you say that.
Knock Out: Well this is the same! But with a hamster involved.
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Blades: Hey, Knock Out? I need advice.
Knock Out: I’m pretty useless at giving advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment instead?
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Knock Out, passing his phone to Blades: I’m passing the phone to someone, who if I had to choose between hanging out with them, and getting my paint job ruined, I’d choose the paint job.
Blades, passing the phone back to Knock Out: I’m passing the phone to my best friend!
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Knock Out: I’m never having a debate with Blades again, they literally started their argument with “Riddle me this.”
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