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#barty and evan
nixnight1 · 5 months
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The Marauders but with Friends' quotes (with a few changes)
Barty: 2024, the year of Barty!
Regulus: Ha ha we are very happy for you *standing next to James*
Barty: What's the matter? Why the long face?
James: We wanted to kiss at midnight, but nobody else is going to so, you know...
Barty: Alright. I'll take care of it
James: Wait!
Regulus: Barty!
Barty: Sh sh sh let me
*Goes straight to Sirius*
Sirius: Thirty three, thirty two...*while jumping*
Barty: Black, Black, Black, listen. Who are you kissing at midnight, huh? Lupin or Evan?
Sirius: What?
Barty: Well, you gotta kiss someone. Can't kiss your brother.
Sirius: Well, who's gonna kiss my brother?
Barty: Potter
Sirius: Oh, man! Really? 🤢
Barty: Mate, mate, who would you rather kiss your brother? Me or Potter?
Sirius: That's a good point
Barty: Yeah
Sirius: Uh, well, since I have that whole history with Rosier, I guess Moony
Barty: Okay, great!
Sirius: Allright
*Barty goes to Remus*
Barty: Hey, Lupin! Listen, Black wants to kiss you at midnight
Remus: Regulus? Why would he?
Barty: No, silly, your Black
Remus: My Black. It's so obvious, why doesn't he just ask?
*Barty goes to Evan*
Barty: Ev, Ev, Listen. I'll kiss you at midnight
Evan: Finally
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jiangyanlissidepiece · 5 months
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Evan and Barty been waiting for YEARS for Regulus to turn their relationship into a threesome and then JAMES FUCKING POTTER—
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regulusblock · 1 month
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Barty: bro i think we committed the perfect crime
Evan: what do u mean bro
Barty: i stole ur heart and u stole mine
Evan: bro
Barty: bro
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chasingthestarss · 2 months
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Barty: point is, we need to try it.
Regulus: but that’s illegal.
Barty:
Evan:
Regulus: I’m just fucking with you, I’m in.
Evan: I was in when I heard illegal.
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evyltalks · 5 months
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Little rosekiller for you 🌹🔪
(First real barty and evan art hope you’ll like it)
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y0url0verb0y · 11 months
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*The Marauders in the great hall for dinner*
James: ...
Sirius: ...
Remus looking between the two: ...
Peter: uh soooo how bout that quidd-
Remus: PETER SHH
Sirius slamming his fork down: you mean the quidditch match where prongs KISSED my BROTHER after SLYTHERIN won?!?!
Remus: ...
Peter: ...
James: ...
James mumbling: it's not that deep-
Sirius standing up: not that deep?!?! NOT THAT DEEP?!?! Hold my motherfucking earrings moony
James: -insert loud girly scream-
meanwhile at the slytherin table
Barty and Evan: -laughing uncontrollably-
Regulus hiding his face: ...I hate them both
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not-rab · 3 months
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Evan, coming out of closet: I don't like ... women.
Barty, mouth agape: ...
Barty: yoU ARE A MISOGYNIST?!
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florsial · 2 months
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Regulus is the type of person who imagines bugs or whatever in the corner of his eye and freaks the fuck out. Especially in the night in his bed when he would just jump from his bed and start throwing and hitting stuff.
Barty and Evan have learned to sleep through it but James will never no stop screaming when his boyfriend starts hitting the bed space beside him
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siriuslygay1981 · 5 months
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Evan: Oh, would you look at that. It's the bane of my existence
Barty: And here is the light of my life. How are you, sweetheart?
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rhetorical-conscience · 4 months
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Barty: No one can hurt me if I'm cold and detached and not emotionally invested in anyone.
Evan: Hey :)
Barty, already sweating: Shit.
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seekmemystar · 11 days
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Evan about Barty
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theprongspotter · 4 months
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Evan: Where’s Regulus?
Sirius: Probably brooding on a rooftop somewhere.
-
c: @the-cypress-grove
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malfack · 2 months
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in his relationship with evan, barty finally calmed down. he found someone he felt needed with and loved evan back. after rossier's death, barty finally lost his mind. nothing could make him normal anymore.
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regulusblock · 1 month
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Barty: can I have 2 tickets please?
Clerk at movies: sure, for romeo and juliet?
Barty: no, for regulus and me.
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moonyishot · 1 month
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Evan and Barty: (have to leave at 11:05)
Barty: what time is it?
Someone: it's 10:59
Evan: 10:59
Evan: so five minutes
Barty: six minutes
Evan: shut up
Barty: fuck off
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Evan: You’re drunk. Barty: Correction: drinking. Present tense. Grammar, Evan.
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