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#rose talks writing
rosesutherlandwrites · 5 months
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Today I, Rose Sutherland, a woman with ZERO actual degrees, and certified to do nothing except tap dance and bake croissants...have an interview featured in a literary magazine about my debut novel. No lie, I was intimidated—Me? Talk about writing? With people formally educated in literature? Anyway, I ended up having a lot of fun fielding questions about Salty, and if you want to check out my interview with University of Arizona's Superstition Review, you can find it here: https://superstitionreview.asu.edu/issue32/interviews/rosesutherland
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whamss · 3 months
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"Making Rosemary tea drinking lesbians is bad" says Internet User, but not because it strips them of their characterization and turns them into carbon copies of each other, destined to sit in the background while other characters (men) have character arcs around them, but because they aren't Silly Enough. No no, we don't need to flesh them out, we just need to turn them from Wise Lesbian Couple to Comedic Relief. This will fix everything wrong with fandom depictions of them. *Wipes sweat from forehead* Woo! Being a feminist is so tough!
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ministarfruit · 2 months
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day 21: fantasy ♡
(femslashfeb prompt list)
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sweaty-confetti · 9 months
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i got super ill about the homestuck kids’ accents and wrote a whole thing
john: your stereotypical american accent that one thinks of, californian but diluted basically. says you guys a lot. pronounces wash kind of like warsh. also sometimes uses weirdly formal language, like television instead of TV, refrigerator instead of fridge, even automobile instead of car - dad’s fault. trained himself out of it cause he thought it was embarrassing, but slips up sometimes.
rose: somewhat of a transatlantic accent, including the speech patterns. picked it up from old tv shows and movies because she didn’t want to sound like roxy-mom (who has a thick mixture of a new york/boston/rhode island accent). but growing up with roxy-mom, she has a bit of that accent too - so it’s this weird mixture of 30% stereotypical American, 50% transatlantic, 20% boston accent. 
dave: texan accent, courtesy of dirk!bro, who spoke in the most stereotypical drawling texan accent ever. as he got older he started to think it wasn’t cool, so he started masking it, but it’s still there. gets stronger when he expresses emotion or when he forgets to mask it. gratuitous use of the word y’all. doesn’t say it over text but it’s a habit in real life. drops g’s at the end of words, like singin’, fuckin’, etc.
jade: obviously had no outside contact with other people other than with grandpa, so she has a slight british accent - kept up with learning to talk by watching youtube videos, so the accent isn’t very strong. also, even before going god tier, had weird canine vocalizations picked up from bec, like growling, whining, even sometimes howling, etc.
jane: very similar to john’s, but sounds…older? not transatlantic, but similar to late 19th century-early 20th century accents, with song-like intonation and faint r’s. heavy emphasized consonants and slight vowel merging with e and i, such that pen and pin sound virtually the same. all in all, what you’d imagine a canadian from the 1800s talks like. 
roxy: the goddamn heaviest stereotypical new york accent ever. a weird super heavy mix of queens and staten island accent she learned entirely for shits and giggles, and also to annoy rose-mom. not very nasally though, unless she’s trying to annoy someone on purpose. a lot of the word like thrown in. doesn’t say it over text, but it’s a habit irl. 
dirk: the flattest most unplaceable standard american accent ever, apart from a hint of a texan accent. learned to talk from the internet and robots, but when he was very young used to repeatedly watch videos that dave!bro left for him and programmed around the house. dave!bro had a heavy texan accent, which is where he picked that up from. drops g’s at the end of words, like singin’, fuckin’, etc.
jake: really heavy, stereotypically posh british accent that sounds like what an american thinks a british person sounds like. but he’s 100% genuine about it and there’s no real explanation for why he does it, other than the fact that when he was very young he used to repeatedly watch grandma’s favorite movies - old british movies. now it’s just a habit and he can’t be trained out of it.
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static-radio-ao3 · 2 months
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it's just a kiss (why you gotta be so talkative?)
“No,” Sirius says sternly, like he’s telling off a bad dog. “We’re not even doing anything,” James protests, opening the door further to let Sirius in. “And you’re not going to.”
---
Or: Five times Regulus and James get interrupted and one time they don't.
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baeshijima · 5 months
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fic where you are the heir to the throne and argenti is your personal knight who can be a little... melodramatic at times, but you know he means well when he takes meticulous care in your appearance when you are to speak before your people or about to attend a ball ("everyone must be dazzled by your beauty, your highness!" ...is what he always responds with whenever you ask why he insists on doing it himself when there are maids for that very purpose), as well as his habit of presenting you a bouquet of roses he lovingly named after himself, always managing to replenish your batch just before they wither away ("there is nothing which match my beauty as these argenti roses do, and you deserve only the most loveliest and most beautiful of experiences, your highness!" ...is what he parades with an almost comical sparkle), or even during the times in which he is to escort you, only to dramatize your entrance with an embarrassing flair as he makes your presence known to those present and possibly the neighbouring kingdoms, too ("but everyone must behold your beauty and grace, your highness!" ...is what he preaches when you sputter and fluster at his theatrics, his genuine expression rendering you unable to refute him each and every time).
despite all this, he is a knight nonetheless. you're reminded of this each time an assassin clambers through your window in the dead of night, only to be rendered immobile when argenti takes care of them without a second thought and makes no haste in checking up on you (whenever such incidents occur, it is always you who has to calm him down, holding his hands and reassuring him you are safe all thanks to him), or in the moments where you watch him train, in awe of his battle prowess and find yourself lost in his broad strokes and effortless stance perfected over the years (he likes to flex and show off when catching your stare, though you find it amusing how quickly he flusters when you don't avert your gaze. he's rather cute in this sense).
while some of his antics may be a bit over the top, he is your chivalrous knight nonetheless — and you wouldn't have it any other way.
(though you would never tell him that, for you would never hear the end of it...)
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clockwork-ashes · 1 month
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All You Have Is Your Fire - Part VI
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Find Part I here :)
Summary: 'I can hear your heart beating through the stone.' For the briefest of moments, Lucien wondered if his mate would know exactly when his heart’s steady rhythm came to a sudden stop.
Note: A huge, huge thank you to the lovely @bettdraws who literally deserves all the credit and whose post inspired me to start writing this. I could not stop thinking about this head canon, and it was so kind of you to let me try and make a story from it :)
And a huge thank you to everyone reading!
Tag List: @anishake / @nocasdatsgay / @mybestfriendmademe / @talibunny30 / @halfbutneverwhole
Part VII >>
Elain held tightly to Lucien’s arm, her fingers linked with his, her other hand clutching at his wrist. An anchor, his heartbeat a comfort as they were led down the winding halls of the ancient Forest House. 
Lucien looked entirely unbothered, hardly troubled now that he was no longer in the presence of his family. Elain asked herself how, considering she very much felt as though she had woken from a nightmare. Her thoughts were foggy, her knees shaking in relief with every one of her steps. Elain wanted to sob. 
Lucien’s thumb traced the curve of her knuckle and Elain breathed in deeply to calm her nerves. 
It was almost humiliating, being paraded past the Autumn guards stationed at every corner as she clung to Lucien. She had to remind herself that it was expected of mated couples to behave so attached, that she was not amongst human nobles that would judge her for any open affection that was displayed. 
Elain briefly wondered what Cora had done in her absence, and whether the other woman had been made aware of the change in their plans. Elain’s thoughts turned quickly, though, to what her sisters would say. Elain was sure that Nesta, more than Feyre, would be furious. 
Elain assumed she would have the Inner Circle’s complete support, but she could only guess at their displeasure with how the night had unfolded. 
Elain had told a High Lord that she was marrying his son, and she was only just beginning to realise the weight of such a promise. Elain felt her stomach flip, panic starting to creep along her spine. 
Just when Elain’s anxiety started to take root, Lucien’s hand gripped hers more tightly. Elain felt as he tried to reassure her through the bond, and her annoyance was enough to redirect her thoughts. 
The Forest House was strange and unlike any place she had ever been to. The rough stone walls were a warm grey, closer to the colour of sheep’s wool than to the cool toned rock she had become used to in Night. 
Elain was surprised to see all the wooden furniture considering all the torches, flames dancing and sparks falling but never setting anything alight. She walked by a couple elegant fireplaces set into the walls, but she saw no chimneys, no soot or ashes. 
Like the roots of an ancient tree, hallways connected and split off into different directions, an unnavigable maze. Elain wondered how anyone was able to find their way around. 
One of the guards shoved Lucien towards a flight of stone steps, urging him to turn. Elain frowned when she felt him tense, thinking perhaps he had been offended by the gesture. It was only as a voice rang out beside them that Elain guessed Lucien had scented someone’s presence. 
“Your services are no longer needed,” the words were rough, a demand. “I can take the prince and his lady to their shared suite from here.” 
Much to Elain’s surprise, the guards obeyed. In the time it took for them to leave, Elain had turned her attention to the new arrival.  
The man was handsome, Elain could admit. His short hair a more copper shade of red, his eyes a bright hazel. He was pale, like most of the people she had seen in Autumn, and he looked battle-worn. A slashing scar cut across his throat, just visible above the fabric of his jacket. 
Even if Elain had not just been in a room with Beron Vanserra, she would have still been able to see the resemblance between the High Lord and the man who so obviously was another one of his sons. She took a step beck, knocking into Lucien’s side. 
The man raised a brow, but other than a passing glance, he paid her no mind. His focus was on Lucien, the torches on the wall flared. Elain wondered if that always happened, if flames simply responded to those in Autumn, a reflection of their emotions.
“Where’s Eris?” He snapped, like he had no patience for either her or Lucien. 
Her mate’s shoulders were stiff. “Is the loyal dog looking for its master?” Lucien’s drawl was taunting, as though he was expecting a reaction from his brother. His words were obviously meant to offend.
Elain could feel Lucien’s shock flooding the bond between them when his brother merely shook his head. 
“You always did cause so much trouble, Lucien,” he frowned, looking very much like Eris. With a sigh, he angled his chin to the flight of stairs in front of them. “Follow me.” 
Not like they had a choice, Elain thought. She could feel as Lucien turned to look at her, to check in, but she stared at his brother as he led them to a pair of thick oak doors. His attempt to comfort her was appreciated, but Elain truly thought she could not look at him without her anxiety once more taking hold. With a wave of his brother’s beringed hand, the doors opened to reveal a cosy space. 
The fireplace was already lit, comfortable carpets covered the stone floor, and by the arched window on the room’s other side was a large bed, fit for two. Elain blushed, forgetting for a moment that Lucien and her were to be married, of course their shared suite would have only one bed. 
Elain watched as Lucien’s brother waved his hand once again, this time lighting the candles littered on some of the wooden tables and nightstands. “I hope the rooms have been set to your liking. Should you need anything, let one of the guards know.”
Elain spoke for the first time since having left the throne room, “My lady’s maid was with me, I was wondering…” She trailed off, unsure of what to say next. 
“I’ll let Eris know,” the Autumn prince offered. “I’m sure he’s thought of everything.” There was no bitterness to his words, only an acknowledgement of his eldest brother’s very thorough planning.
Elain dipped her head in thanks, but he had already begun to leave. Elain looked to Lucien as he watched his brother warily, and he hardly seemed surprised when the other man paused at the room’s threshold. 
“Congratulations to the both of you on your engagement,” he said flippantly, over his shoulder. Elain could hear a flicker of doubt in his tone, perhaps a suggestion that he was not entirely convinced by their act. She wondered if Eris had mentioned it to him, if they were close enough to have shared such information. 
Elain noticed the irritation that flashed in Lucien’s eye, how the other one whirred. “Thank you, Callum.” 
It was clear to Elain that there was bad blood between the brothers, and while she was curious, Elain also knew that it would probably be very rude to ask Lucien about it. She watched as Callum left, glad that she no longer needed to play the role she had given herself.  
The doors slammed shut behind the Autumn prince, and Elain promptly let go of Lucien’s hand. She already missed the feeling, but to reach for him would be like an admission of how she so often longed for his touch when he was near. She put distance between them, almost tripping on the edge of the carpet in her rush. 
“Gods,” she mumbled, running her fingers through her curls. She closed her eyes, took a deep breath. Lucien’s scent, apples and summer mornings, lingered in the air. 
What have I done? 
Elain decided that she was a fool for coming to Autumn. She had no idea what she had gotten herself into, had been so desperate to save Lucien’s life that she had doomed them both. 
When Elain opened her eyes, she saw Lucien flexing his fingers, like the memory of her hand in his was enough to unsettle him. He had dark bruises along his jaw, clenched in what she thought was concern. There were blood stains, brown and aged, along the collar of his white shirt. A smear of dirt was on his temple and Elain could tell he had been treated poorly until she had come. 
Lucien was still the loveliest man Elain had ever seen, and she hated herself for believing it.  
“How in the hell did Feyre convince you to come for me?” Lucien asked, voice tired, like his own thoughts were weighing him down. 
Elain furrowed her brow, frowning at him. “Feyre?” She echoed, incredulous. 
At her question Lucien seemed to anger, only for a moment, before he spoke once more. “Rhysand, then, made you do this?” 
“No one made me do anything,” Elain hissed, keeping her voice down, remembering how careful Eris was with his words even when they had been alone. “I came for you because I chose to.” She was frustrated, angry that everyone assumed she could not make decisions for herself. It was with great effort that she kept her hands at her sides, that she did not begin pointing at Lucien with an accusing finger. 
“Why would you do such a thing?” Confusion and disbelief lingering in his words. 
“Because I felt like it,” she snapped, feeling very much like a child. Elain did not share with him that after so much death, so much change in the last few years, she did not think she could bear more. “And you should be thanking me, not questioning my motives.” 
Elain watched as he bent ever so slightly at the waist, the smallest of bows. He did not take his eyes off her as he said, “You have my thanks, Elain.” 
At the sound of her name falling from Lucien’s lips, Elain took a step towards him, the movement almost involuntary. “You shouldn’t call me that,” the impropriety of it all had Elain blushing, she attempted to tell herself that was why she could feel her heartbeat quicken. “You don’t have the right—”
“I think I do,” Lucien said with a shrug, “considering we’re about to be married.” 
It looked like he wanted to say more, but Elain interrupted. “It means nothing,” she was shocked at how snarled the last word was. “Nothing has changed between us,” her words held a finality to them.
Lucien ran a hand through his hair, “Not for one moment did I believe otherwise.” He sounded exhausted, Elain noticed. 
Briefly, Elain felt guilty for being upset with him.
Lucien shook his head, and as he spoke he did not look at her. “You shouldn’t have come to Autumn.” Elain could not say it with certainty, but she could have sworn fear leaked slowly down their shared bond. 
“Next time I’ll let you be killed,” Elain waved her hand dismissively. “What’s done is done, I can hardly tell your father I’ve changed my mind.” 
“I think we’re well past that,” Lucien confirmed. The silence between them was awkward, and Elain wished they had separate rooms, despite knowing it was for the best that they were together.
She could feel Lucien’s gaze on her, but Elain was looking at the comfortable armchair by the fireplace. She cleared her throat, “You take the bed.” 
Lucien did not argue with her, a testament to how utterly drained he must have been, Elain concluded. 
“Thank you, Elain,” he said softly, sincerely.
Elain was left with the impression that Lucien was thanking her for more than just the bed.
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stvnszlr · 3 days
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this one goes out to all my steven and izzy enjoyers ^_^
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mariatesstruther · 3 months
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okay but sarah celebrating tommy every year for mother’s day
#who needs a mommy when you got a tommy#the first time shes does this its preschool teacher maria’s idea#shes four and mothers day is coming up and its usually a hard time for her so joel lets maria know just in case she has any behavioral issue#miss maria is like 🫡 i gotchu#she makes sure to emphasize to the kids that families are all different#they spend every day of may leading up to mother day reading books exploring diversity in families and talking about what mom really means#that it doesnt have to be the person who had you in their tummy or a girl or even a person we call mom#for example miss maria’s real mommy wasnt so nice growing up so miss marias TRUE mommy is just her daddy and her auntie rose#because those are the people that loved her no matter what and kept her safe and taken care of and fed#thats all mom is#it just means someone thats there for you every day and loves you and cares for you#someone who is one of your favorite people and who would say the same about you#all the kids go around and say who they think are their moms#mosy say some iteration of ‘mommy’ and ‘mama’ or ‘grammy’#but then baby ellie says ‘tess and auntie marlene’#and baby sarah says ‘uncle thommy’#one of the other littles says ‘daddy and miss maria’ 😭#and they all make heart cards for their mommy firgures#they cant write or really read anything but a few letters yet#(even though hyperlexic baby sarah does have pretty incredible letter recognition for her age)#so they tell miss maria what to write on their cards and then decorate with oil pastels#sarah’s says dear uncle tommy thank you for being my mommy you are so funny and i love when we play horsey and princesses. happy mommy day#when he picks her up at the end of the day shes like HI MOMMMMM all giggly and hes like ????? hi???? whats this???? OPEN IT OPEN IT OPEN IT#and when he does and read it he literally drops to his knees to hug her and cry#because theres really nothing more precious than his little angel his baby his best girl#thats tommys DAUGHTER DO YALL UNDERSTAND??????#miss maria watching them from the cubbies like: godDAMN theyre so cute#the next day tommy brings her a oat milk chai from her favorite coffee shop as a thank you because it meant a lot to him and shes like ????#how did u know???? and hes like my brother and you ran into each other there last week yeah? he told me abt it i asked for your order#and shes like 🥹🥰🫠 thanks
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kaylinalexanderbooks · 5 months
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Absolutely love it when scenes work out better than expected.
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maxybabyy · 4 months
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literally losing my mind over your frat boys au klllllljkkljkllkklljll
please know it has been living in my mind since yesterday, so here's part two, aka what i actually thought about when i saw the original ask (@gaycrunch) ...
part i (re: this)
He finds him outside, hunched over on the porch with his phone in his hand and a half-full bottle of vodka open between his thighs.
“What’s a pretty boy like you doing out here all by himself?” Daniel asks, teases as he drops down to sit next to him. “If only there was a party somewhere, with like, good people and shit.”
Max grunts, barely moves as Daniel hooks his knee over Max’s. He brings the bottle to his mouth, swallows a mouthful of vodka as his free hand comes to rest on Daniel’s knee. “You know already probably, this is why you are here,” he says, digs a finger into the scar on his kneecap, the faded line from when he cut himself on a beer can.
Daniel does, was pulled aside by at least five different dudes who told him where Max had gone, “But I’d rather you tell me, Maxy.”
Max pours another shot into his mouth, keeps the bottle by his lip as he talks. “What even is a rose? This makes no sense, Daniel,” he says, and to his credit, he does sound frustrated. He’s a little drunk too, always is these days when the night falls, but Daniel doesn’t know if it’s cause or consequence.
“It’s an old school thing,” Daniel relents. He steals the bottle from Max’s hands and takes a tiny sip just so he won’t keep drinking. “Reckon I’m plenty sweet for the lot of us, yeah? Don’t need a lady to tell me how to act.”
He didn’t know frats still did this kind of shit, thought they were all past it now, that men could be graceful and charitable too. Hadn’t even thought to mention it to this year’s pledges, but then maybe, Max could have used the lecture anyway.
“Did you really tell her to go suck a bunch of dicks? Because if so, Maxy –“
Max huffs. His leg shakes underneath Daniel’s knee, jostles loose the slide he wears on his foot. “I of course did not say this,” Max says, snappish, taut. “She said she was the best at sucking dick, and I said, ‘this probably is not true’. She showed me this thing she did with her tongue, with her straw you know, and it did not look good, Daniel.”
Daniel chokes down a laugh, relents easily when Max reaches for the bottle again. He watches with unbridled want as Max pretends to suck off the lip of the bottle, interrupted too frequently by his own commentary on the technique.
Daniel reckons he’s right, the tongue is too much, barely touches the bottle at all. Not like Max had done that night, lips heavy around his dick, his tongue firm against the underside of the head.
“So like, you didn’t tell her to suck a dick?”
Max jams his elbow into his side, jolts when Daniel clams his hand around the top of his thigh to keep him in place. “Always this was not – Daniel, I would not say this,” he says, glares at Daniel when he doesn’t relent. “I said maybe that she had to practice more. I have of course sucked a lot of dicks, if she wanted to be like me, then.”
Daniel laughs, loud and surprised, and suddenly Max laughs too.
The Kappa Alphas are dicks anyway. They wouldn’t lose anything if Daniel took them off the social calendar, isn’t really a party if the entire frat can’t go, is it?
“Why didn’t you go home?” He asks after a while. The lid has been put back on the bottle of vodka, and Max has been fed whatever was left in his cup of water.
Two weeks after officially becoming a pledge, Daniel had found Max passed out in a pool of tub juice, white tee soaked in sticky sweet alcohol. He hadn’t vomited – Daniel doesn’t know then if he wouldn’t have just left him there – but Daniel had dragged him upstairs and into the shower. Had scrubbed the marker off his face but left the blue marker in his hair to watch the botched, fucking dip dye his hair had held onto for almost a week.
Max had slept in his bed that night, does it at least every two weeks now, cuddled up between Daniel and the wall. They haven’t fucked since that first time, since Daniel realised Max would be pledging the frat. But sometimes they kiss, and it’s. It feels nice, feels easy, breezy even.
“I have to wait for Carlos,” Max says, shrugs.
Daniel had elected not to pair himself with Max, chose instead one of the legacies who seemed to find power in whatever fucking hazing ritual Daniel threw at him. He kinda regrets it now, knows how shit Carlos must be at this big brother stuff. Knows he left more than an hour ago with Max’s friend from the lacrosse team, apparently without saying shit to Max.
“Nah, Maxy. You’re fine,” he says, squeezes his thigh again when Max hesitates. “Let’s go back to the house, yeah? Maybe Carlos is waiting for you there or like, we can send him a text or something.”
Max doesn’t look convinced, sceptic, like he’s the one who’s on his third year in the frat. But he takes his hand when Daniel gets up, pulls him to his feet. “Lando has the dorm tonight,” he says, shows him a picture of a sock on a doorknob.
It looks fake, but Daniel hasn’t actually seen it for himself ever. Like with the rose, doubted it was even done anymore. But then, Lando’s always been an odd guy.
“There’s always the couch if you want,” Daniel offers, shivers. “Or like, there’s also my bed. Probably the best if you don’t wanna wake up when Scotty gets home.”
Daniel doesn’t hold his breath, he doesn’t, listens instead to the crunch of the road underneath them. It’s no more than ten minutes until they’re home, Greek row almost condensed down to one block.
“Okay, Daniel,” Max says, quiet in the dark night. His hand brushes against Daniel’s, and he tries not to jump, stays still in case Max does reach out. “I think that would be very lovely.”
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ninemelodies · 5 months
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and if i wrote about rose and her weird uncle (?) getting into shenanigans around town, what then?
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cloverstellar · 4 months
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you’re weedsecure (don’t know what for)
AKA: ROSE AND MAX HAVE A HOMOEROTIC BETRAYAL
oh god. read this at your own risk. I was forced to post this, anyways this was written by yours truly, max @thundercubed, and edited by arson @its-arson-time.
tag list: @faggotinnit, @demonicscreeching
~~~fic under the cut
Rose frowned. The dark, shadowed green vines under her feet curled over the ground like an angry infection. Across the field, standing sullen among the wild grass and weeds, was Max Thundercubed. 
“Rose,” Max called, their voice carrying like a siren’s song across the wind. Even with the distance, Rose couldn’t mistake the crack in their voice, the crumbling of their composure.
“What the fuck do you want, Max? I gave everything to you! You left me with nothing, nothing,” her chest was heaving, burning tears welling up in her throat. “I don’t even know you anymore.”
Max took a shaky step forward, knees nearly buckling as they tried to grapple for the right words. “Rose, wait, please, let me explain—”
“I don’t want to fucking hear it!” She took a heavy, anchored step backwards, shaking hands finding their way into her tangled brown hair, “You left me behind to pursue some stupid fucking dream you wouldn’t even share with me—ME!”
Heart in her throat, she waited for an answer to her unsaid question. 
“I threw away everything for my dreams,” Max said, voice gravelly and low.
“Yeah, including me. Was it worth it, asshole? Your world is crumbling under your shaking knees. Look at you! You’re not even seeing yourself!” The barren, dead trees crackled in the heavy wind. “Is this the future you wanted,” she cried, “one where you leave the one person who loved you behind?”
“I left you behind because I didn’t want to ruin your life!” Max gasped, tears pricking at the corners of their eyes. “I knew that my dreams were outlandish, yeah—but I was willing to make that sacrifice because it was my own life. And I couldn’t bear to drag you down with me.” 
Max gritted their teeth and tore a calloused hand through their messy blond hair. “I know I would have. Don’t you dare try to convince me otherwise.”
The air fell still. “And what even was ‘that life,’ Max? What was so terrible about your own fucking dreams that you needed to leave me behind? How is something so important to you awful??” 
Rose knelt to the floor, reaching for a sign of life, of anything hopeful, among the dying vines. 
Nothing. She looked up. “Well?”
A gust of wind blew through Max’s curls. In the distance, thunder rumbled. Rose’s eyes widened. Coming from the heavy clouds, a small, indiscreet bag drifted into Max’s hand.
“I wanted to grow weed, Jesse.” 
Silence crackled through the air, so deafening it took the breath out of the gobbler’s lungs. (“they call me the gobbler” -rose)
“Max… who’s Jesse?”
“Your mother,” Max replied without hesitation. “Her name was Jessica, but we called her Jesse. I found the weed seeds in the back of her garden shed. I took them and began planting them when I was 8 years old. Ten years later, my weed empire grows strong.”
A broken gasp fell from Rose’s lips. “By jove.. was she trans?”
“Yes,” Max said, a single tear falling down his cheek. “She was. She bought me my first binder, in fact.”
“Cor blimey, I had no idea…” the vines around Rose began to bloom with life, like she was Rapunzel and the vines were her hair or some shit, “that’s.. the best thing I’ve ever heard! I’m so happy for you Max. Or sad. I think you’re insinuating that Jesse, my mother, is dead. That’s not very swag money cold cash of her.”
“Well you see, that’s a complex issue, because there was an incident involving your grandfather Wilbur and a boiler explosion. It’s kind of like a Schrodinger's cat situation. She’s both alive and dead, and neither at the same time.”
The vines around Rose grew and grew. “You know, that reminds me of that one video I showed you, Max, back when we were both immature kids on the interwebs.”
A vision appeared in the air, displaying an English dubbed clip from season two of popular anime My Hero Academia, and slowly, you can hear audio filter through..
“MOMMY… LOVES ME MORE…”
Max’s eyes widened in horror. “No…it can’t be…
“NO, THAT’S IMPOSSIBLE, SHE ALWAYS SPENT MORE TIME WITH ME!”
“NO! I CAN’T TAKE THIS ANY LONGER!” Max howled, collapsing to the ground and clamping their hands over their ears. “NOT THE 2021 SLIMECICLE REFERENCE!”
“IT’S BECAUSE… YOU PISS ON THE TOILET!”
Max let out a raw scream of rage and terror so visceral that it was as loud as the brewing storm. Lightning crackled through the air, the sharp tang of petrichor thick in the air.
The storm’s power was so strong it knocked Rose out of the Slimecicle Reference Trance she had fallen into. She woke up to the ringing of “nipple sized fingers,” and “the number one child,” rattling around in her head.
“Ugh,” she sighed, “that was.. for you.. mom.”
Exhausted, she collapsed to the floor, the last thing she saw before passing out was Max’s floating form surrounded by bushels of weed (kinda looking like Todoroki in that literal clip that just played, but with weed). 
In her mind, she could've sworn she could see 3 women, with an aggressive boyfriend, and yes, they smoked weed.
Weed. Buy a premium subscription to ThunderWeed Industries for only $122345654674567.99 a month! Get premium, ethically sourced weed today!
Or don’t do that and give Rose Genlossicle all your money instead for funsies.
Weed is funsies!
No it’s not weed is bad. Penis is funsies. Finger sized nipples are funsies
Gotta agree with you on that. Dick n balls
Weed can be funsies if you weed responsibly
Ok we’re done.
THE END MOTHERFUCKERS
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transmascutena · 4 months
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these lines hit different when you read utena as transmasc
#i mean the first one is really awful regardless.#pretty sure i read somewhere that the words akio uses means something along the lines of 'you really should remain a child'#as opposed to 'you really should remain the gender that you are.' which speaks to his whole thing about keeping these kids from growing up#and there's So Much in anthy's line even without hypothetical misgendering#anyway the au where utena has already transitioned by the time he gets to ohtori is really good#and i of course have lots of headcanons about post-ohtori utena and gender#but i've been thinking about one where he's actively questioning while he's there and is not out to anyone.#and i guess not a lot would really change but akio's attempt at making utena more feminine would have a whole other layer of awful to it#and unfortunately i think in this scenario the first person he would come out to would be akio. which is so sad#like maybe it could be anthy but idk. i think it would be something he'd be apprehensive to be open about with her#(in the show utena does tend to be more vulnerable with akio than with anthy. at least the vulnerability with him comes first.#he's her go-to person for advice in the black rose arc and utena doesn't really begin opening up to anthy like that until the third arc)#maybe i should write something for this au. i can see it so clearly.#utena talking about his confusing gender feelings in one of those black rose scenes in the planetarium#and akio doing that thing where he sounds supportive and helpful but absolutely isn't.#that fake sympathy that's actually really patronizing and condescending and dismissive but subtly enough that utena doesn't realize it#and THEN the contrast when utena finally talks to anthy about it and she empathises by talking about her own confusing gender feelings#(transfem anthy realness !!!!!)#oh wow i did not mean to write so much in the tags#revolutionary girl utena#utena tenjou#my posts
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iamafanofcartoons · 1 year
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We need to address how media, and media critics, portray female characters poorly. What can be done about it? What are examples of media works that portray complex female characters well? What are writing tips for people trying to write complex female characters? Why do media critics hate on women?
Its just something I noticed.
Male writers drop the ball with female characters all the time. They'll give the men all the good lines but women get weak roles and no sense of humor. When we complain they then make a female character who has too many boyfriends and too much ego and too much power but no resourcefulness, or she's super powerful but still needs a man to save her, and of course they make her complain about everything and fight with everyone who helps her. I could go on and on.
A lot of people are incapable of viewing female characters as anything other than an innocent saint or a portrait of pure evil. Arguably the best characters are morally ambiguous ones who live in the gray area between good and evil, but women are much less often afforded that distinction than their male counterparts.
I'm been having a huge problem connecting to media. The only women around are very young or very old and their main defining feature is usually motherhood. If a woman my age exists who isn't a mom she's usually either obsessed with men or desperate to have a baby (or will be once the right dude comes along).
Fanfiction has great female characters , but you keep running into people who will only write a complex woman who's tied to a male main character.
Michael Burnham from Star Trek: Discovery . POC Female Protagonist. You probably have heard or seen a lot of hatred against.
Korra from The Legend Of Korra. Sequel Series to ATLA. POC Female Protagonist. Despite losing fights and suffering extreme trauma and making mistakes, critics passionately bash the show, calling her a Mary-Sue, and accusing the show of being Protagonist-Centered Morality.
A lot of the time if there is a military high ranking female character or just female leader that is masculine or butch she will be the villain to be defeated by the traditionally feminine or at least more feminine heroine/love interest of the hero. I hate this because it basically implies that a woman can only be good if she’s conventionally attractive or a love interest. It’s saying being butch is bad/evil.
Even movies trying to be feminist, like “Contact” which I had to watch for homework? With Jodie Foster from the 1990s told the brilliant, focused woman scientist to not be so “confrontational” (as two male characters stole credit for her work right after they stole her funding) and to be happy with “small moves.” They continued to pat her on the head and tell her to be quiet through the whole movie. The one time she even spoke to another woman was to ask where she could find a really pretty dress. This was supposed to show growth in her character arc.
If I recall correctly, one of the playable characters in the next release of the grand theft auto series is gonna be a women. People online were flipping out over this saying they are being too "woke", among other things. Its funny to me because there has been 5 gta games with only male protagonists, and now there's 1 female in it and suddenly its a problem. Its like these people think there are only 2 genders in games, male and woke.
Heck, people love basic trope laden protagonists..... until they are women.
People love unreasonably over powered characters that are loved or feared in equal measure by the entire cast..... until its a woman.
Then all of a sudden, she's a Mary-Sue and the show/game/book is "Protagonist-Centered Morality"
Some characters who are torn apart for their initial naïveté like Sansa Stark or Usagi Tsukino (Sailor Moon) are immediately written off as stupid girl characters. Never mind that one becomes a political powerhouse and the other routinely saves the world. People just write their characters off as too “girly” or “annoying” before they even have the chance to redeem themselves in their stories.
Feels like at it's core, people don't like women trying to build self confidence and play out power fantasies. The only difference with the original Mary Sue was that she was imagining being liked by everyone, which was every woman's dream back then and to a certain extent, now. The power was being well liked, and that made her annoyingly boring because there was no struggle for her. Men think struggle is needed, even in fantasies and dreams, but it isn't.
The term Mary-Sue gained a new popularity by shaming female characters (such as Rey, Galadriel, Captain Marvel,…). I am not saying the term is not used towards male characters as well, but it is more rare, and it is rarely as violent as when it is used to characterize a female character.
More importantly it is used against female characters unevenly compared to male characters, its accepted as a genre trope for a male character to be extremely capable or to acrue experience and ability rapidly throughout the narrative. But when it's a woman suddenly "realism" must apply, a real person doesn't simply gain strength and talent through endless perfectly leveled hardship. In simpler terms, Batman can launch a thug across the room with a single punch and it's awesome, Black Widow, however, is breaking the laws of physics when she does her famous around the neck takedown.
Neither are realistic, arguably any grown man launching another grown man bodily through the air with a casual punch is less realistic than a woman pulling off a skilled takedown, but the unequal application of standards says all that needs to be said about the critic.
Writing a "mary sue" to be male often results in a praised character that people don't really worry about. Like Goku or Kirito. People are fine with it. Enjoy it. And there's massive amounts of rather popular fanfiction taking random male characters in series and sue-ifying them, making them the protagonist over the actual main characters, and slapping in poorly developed romance arcs. It's "mary sue" 101, but hardly anyone talks about them in that light.
Meanwhile a woman shows a level of competence similar to another character in the same series (e.g. Rey to Luke or Anakin) and the accusations are everywhere.
Calling these characters one-dimensional is one of the dog-whistles of the modern [whatever]-gate colony creature.
They know that they'll get savaged if they come out and say they're mad because this character is a woman, so they couch everything in these subjective terms. She's one-dimensional. She's flat. She's badly written. She's a mary sue. I just couldn't relate to her.
You can argue with them, you can point out that, say, in Star Wars, that Rey's ability to handle weapons intentionally established in the early scenes of TFA, that we see the setup for the skills she's going to display later in the movie/series, and that her first win is against a badly wounded Sith apprentice. By contrast, Luke successfully fights his way through a huge space station against professional soldiers, then hops into a starfighter he's never flown before, outflies a bunch of experienced pilots, and pulls off a physically impossible shot to save the day.
But sure. Rey is the one who strains credulity.
You can point all that out, but none of it matters. They're not arguing in good faith. They're just mad that there's a girl, and know better than to say that out loud.
He pulls off the shot because he has a throwaway line about murdering animals the size of a camel for fun in his civilian craft that just so happens to have controls similar to the military superiority fighter because they were manufactured by the same company. Because that doesn't strain credibility. Also guess which parts were filled in later by novel writers who were like, "holy **** that makes no sense at all"
Sailor Moon and Sansa Stark are two female characters that start out as whiney cry-baby girlie girls who evolve into political powerhouses and heroes in their own right. But most people write their characters off immediately, because they’re disgusted by their girlish-ness.
While our media gives male characters a chance to grow, female characters are generally written off unless they either show masculine traits, or are used for fan service. It’s why women in movies and TV are usually a kickass tomboy or a girlfriend character.
So anyway, I guess my point is that there are amazing kickass women characters who are well-written and evolve and grow, but their growth tends to be written off as frivolous and not as cool as their dude counterparts.
Imagine an anime where the woman is the main character and she's strong, smart, and not sexualized ?
How about Guardian of the Spirit (seirei no moribito in Japanese)? The MC is a mercenary woman who fights with a spear. She's a complex character, maybe somewhat emotionally stunted because of growing up on the road. She meets a wonderful, compassionate male healer and I love how they break stereotypical gender roles. There's also a complete badass old lady with magical powers and a temper. One of my favourite characters in any genre.
But I'd like to add SuleMio to the list.
Some people did not like that Gundam had its first female protagonist last year, or that she's engaged to another girl, or that they have a romantic moment where Miorine makes Suletta "promise to be with me forever".
It's my first Gundam show and I was nowhere near the fandom, but even I heard the howls of rage from the otakus over that show while it was airing.
“ I highly recommend reading Mistborn by Brandon Sanderson. Strong female main character with a supportive cast of male characters. His Skyward series is also good for this.  Sanderson is great but there are some female fantasy writers that do this even better IMO. NK Jemisin has tons of great female characters. Tamsyn Muir’s Locked Tomb series has a majority female cast and I’d say 4 or 5 of them are in the top ten most interesting and complex female characters I’ve read. “
You heard of The Bechdel test: Two women have to talk about something other than a man. There is no time window. It came up in a 1985 comic Dykes To Watch Out For and although it is not a great indicator of more feminist content, it's a wonder much media fails to pass that test.
Have you seen
Arcane? That is a wild crazy masterpiece with awesomely complex awesome characters. It's animated, yeah, so what? But I mean, to say "it's animated" is a heavy  understatement. Have you seen Jinx? Have you seen her portrayal of psychosis and godknows what else was happening in her head? No one in history came even close to that.
Queen's Gambit? Anya Taylor-Joy brought Beth Harmon flawlessly through immense complexity of the character
Mare of Easttown - Kate Winslet there is, I kid you not, the best acting I have ever seen. Her character is going through complex situations and emotions and learning to deal with her human side. Bryan Cranston raised the bar ridiculously high with Walter White, but Kate Winslet pushed it further up, set explosives on it, and walked away like a badass without looking at the explosion. No one is topping that anytime soon.
I'm sure there are more examples. But what I love about these, and a big part of what makes them perfect is that they are their own characters and aren't defined by men around them. Their greatn
I wish female characters were given better in terms of development and characterization. Honestly, I feel like a lot of people hate female characters simply because most male dominated media does such a poor job of writing women, and those characters aren't given the same excuses as poorly written male characters.
Anyway, yeah, sorry for my rant. Having grown up on Anime, Harry Potter, Star Wars, you name it?
I later in life realized what was missing, what is needed, and really needed to hear other people's input on this stuff.
I never understood the need for every main character to be only a cishet white guy. I had already come up with several characters of my own, all of them LGBTQIA+, and half of them women, and several also POC. But my writing and art skills are poor so I can't visualize them properly...
We need more female authors, and we need to promote the ones that are out there more!
(there are plenty of really, really good female authors, in all genres, but often they get less attention, because, well, misogyny)
Edit: If you want an example of how the double-standard towards women and LGBT is applied? Go watch RWBY or Legend of Korra. Both involve a deconstruction of tropes. Both involve women standing up against an authority that demands respect based on being authority, not based on respect. Both shut down the white male savior trope so hard, that men and women who love the patriarchy despise both shows.
But of course, anything that Team RWBY or Korra does is immediately held to a double standard and ripped into for anything that they do NOT because they’re flawed or because of writing decisions. Its because they’re LGBT women that they’re held under a microscope. Or have you noticed that every fixit fanfic for both series involves defending the Patriarchy while supporting toxic masculinity and trying to revive the White Male Savior trope that both shows have tried so hard to bury six feet under?
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local-lamppost · 1 year
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Utena’s Caged Intelligence
Something of a continuation of this.
TL;DR Ohtori, like pretty much every school, was not designed for those with developing intelligence (like middle schoolers) to be able to grow and flourish.
So I’ve gone over a little bit of the initial curiosity of Utena and how that diminished, but I wanted to address some topics I might have missed because I mainly focused on Utena’s logic.
When I say logic, I mean her matter of fact/overtly blunt manner of problem solving. She forces her way through problems headstrong, making her solutions equate to the dumb joke stereotype. She sees things in a straight line in a world that is determined to pave only curved roads. Her logic makes her the biggest moron in a world of the illogical. This can actually be seen in Miki as well. Miki is an artist at heart, but doesn’t think he can express himself that way because of the “feminine” nature he’s been taught the language of art is. Miki tries to translate his artistic thoughts into logical dialog, and because of his inability to correlate his mind and voice it makes him one of the easiest characters to manipulate; he’ll mimic what those around him says-especially after an emotional moment-because that must be how a regular “logical” speaker would act.
Utena is similar to a degree, she’s just in no way self aware. Less frantic than Miki, but easier to condition once you can tug Utena’s logic away from her own and onto someone else’s (Akio’s).
Utena is not allowed to come to her own conclusions. Akio or Anthy or whatever student council member has been enlisted are all quick to put her in situations that derive her of exploring other options. It becomes that the best way to solve her problems is to go along with the duels (to the point that she challenges Touga to a duel purely for herself and her own issues, because that’s how problems are solved at Ohtori).
I think the best way to dumb this thought process down is to think that everyone is playing a game. Utena plays by the book and is a naturally very skilled player, others will have mind games or better items to try to gain an upper hand; but then there are players like Touga, Akio, and Anthy who have cheats enabled, but Utena is unable to realize this.
Lastly, the point that can slip people’s mind is that Utena is 14 and the people pulling the strings are all older than her/more experienced. Akio is in his twenties or thirties(not even counting that he might be a magical immortal deity), Touga is both an upper classmen but someone who appears to be living the most ‘adult’ lifestyle of all the underage duelists (the mindest for them is very much sex=maturity/power), and Anthy’s bread and butter is preparing sacrifices for her brother(as well as being a maybe immortal witch).
Her age is Utena’s greatest detriment in the game she’s playing. The only characters that get manipulated as much as she does are Miki and Nanami (Nanami especially) and they are the youngest of the duelists. Yet there are the scant few times it gives her strength, such as her duel with Wakaba (but even then, this duel gave Akio that firm line in the sand he would need to eliminate to further bring Utena under his control).
A school is supposed to be where you go to grow your logical intelligence, while being placed in an environment meant to grow your social intelligence. Ohtori, under Akio’s direction, does not comply to this standard: they value the independence of the students. Something that sounds good, until you remember that these are kids still in need of support, support Akio is glad to provide as he frames himself as the only truly mature and reliable presence in these children’s lives.
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