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"You are killing US with YOUR jealousy"

So far I have enlightened the world with my thoughts on jealousy and self-esteem. I want to clear up any misunderstandings that may have some male people thinking that I am targeting only women here. Jealousy and self-esteem issues also can imprison men as well as women. No one is excused from real human emotions. Emotions know no face, color, size or gender. There are two victims here, not just one.

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I also feel that I have neglected to reveal how the other party involved in a relationship that suffers from jealousy or self-esteem issues also suffers.

A relationship is a partnership. It is a commitment made between two people, in that we will stand by each other through thick and thin. Unfortunately, when it is a jealousy issue, both parties are effected. We tend to focus on the person that is trapped in the prison of worry, more than the other person that is caught in the line of fire, partly because we need to free that side first, then we can help heal the other.

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Well I am now going to share that persons prison of hell as well.

To be accused and mistrusted by the one you love is a hardship and a definite pain that one cannot bear for a long time. They eventually either walk away or take a stand and call out to you, (the attacker) to please stop; to please listen to what you are saying and accusing them of.

Time after time they try so hard to reassure you that they do love you and that they are not interested nor lusting for anyone else. When they try to tell you that it is all in your mind, they risk getting attacked more for defense. It is no doubt a vicious circle. They become paranoid that no matter where they are, you are already convinced that they have betrayed you in some way. They wait for the shoe to drop. Some times it takes a few days, some times it drops immediately. Never the less they have to sit by and worry about when it will drop. They fear that this time they will not be able to say the right thing. They fear we will get even more depressed and irrational with what they say to us. They begin to feel, "damned if they do, and damned if they don`t". I personally hate that feeling. To think that I myself would put someone in that position makes me want to run away faster than Forrest Gump.

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The neglect you put on that person through your jealous insecurities is as real to them as your feelings of being trapped in your prison of doubt. There are many scenarios as to why jealousy rises up inside people, but for the innocent ones that really do not ever do anything to trigger that fear inside you, they are the innocent victims. People that have come to the point of identifying their issues and have began to deal with them, please remember the other person that is there with you. They too need special attention, because they have shared your fears and your pain. In a much different way, never the less, they still ache. Jealousy can destroy so many good things in ones lives. It can destroy our mate, through you, it kills the one thing that you love deeply. The worst part about it is, that you allow it. You must stop. Would you take a gun and shoot your mate? NOT!! So then why are you allowing this emotion to torture what is so dear to you? I repeat, as long as your mate is not responsible for your fears or if they have made amends and are trying to make things better, then please understand their pain of being mistrusted. When they see you in pain and they are being told it is because of them, they crumble. Your mate loves you as much as you love them, and to feel they are responsible for your trapped feelings eats them up inside. To see you smile and feel totally loved makes them feel good about themselves in that they are responsible for that smile. That is a good feeling all the way around.

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Also be careful not to fall into that habit of being unhappy through jealous feelings. Understand where they are coming from. Are you using them as a reason to get attention? Again, a wrong kind of attention. If you cannot get the right attention you feel you are lacking, then talk to your partner. Do not let jealous emotions take over and confuse what you really are trying to say. Any weakness in your mind is a direct route for negative feelings to travel through. Once they get there, they work very quickly at bringing you down. So be aware of what exactly you are feeling.

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I hope that I have at least opened up some thoughts in your minds as to what else is going on in a relationship that is plagued by jealousy. Both sides are equally being torchered and killed. We need to LIVE, LOVE & LAUGH more often with each other. Oh and lets not forget my favorite thing to do…HUGGGGGG!!!!

One thought from my heart to yours:

Say this outloud:

"I am always ready to risk. I am always ready to learn. I am always ready to test my strength, and so I put my worries aside and just live!"

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“If you ask people in a toxic relationship, “Why do you love this person?" And the answer is… “I don’t know… I can’t describe it. It’s just like… magical. I can’t put it into words. We just have this connection. They just, feel me… you know?” They can’t articulate it. But when you ask a person in a healthy relationship, “Why do you love this person?”, the answer is very clear. “Because I respect them, and they respect me. We share the same values. We have incredible times together. I feel safe with this person.” They give you concrete evidence. But when someone's “like… magical”, and you can’t describe it, it’s because it’s a trauma bonded connection. A confusing space. This ain’t magical. It’s dangerous to go exploring, to stick around and find out . And it’s a wake up call. And opportunity to choose differently. How do you know? Go with the energy. Energy doesn’t lie. Your gut knows. Does this relationship help you grow? Does it fill you up? Does it feel nurturing? Do you feel safe? Genuinely loved? Or does it shrink you? Cause you to to be unstable, unsafe…? You don’t need words. You feel threatened, you don’t feel like yourself, you feel yourself reaching for old toxic behaviors…” ~ I wish I could remember who said this (it wasn’t me) Energy doesn’t lie. The energy says it all. (Run) #relationship101 #toxiclove #toxicrelationship #unhealthyrelationships #unhealthyrelationship #relationshipcoach #breakupcoach #cantdescribeit #dating101 #datingadvice #selflove #selfprotection #selfawareness #thingstoknow #thingstoknowinadvance #internationallifecoach #healthylove #healthyrelationships #relationshipgoals https://www.instagram.com/p/CkQkCdmunCW/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

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Today's relationship issues and how to prevent them - conflicts and trust. 

Its finally here x

Hey Guys, So the blog is finally here! Welcome to my online diary, where I share helpful tips, advice and thoughtful insights on various subjects. I've wanted to create a blog for some time to interact and engage more with the TTWT community. So please also feel free to share your opinions and questions. I want to hear all your beautiful voices; your thoughts, comments and questions are of value to me. We are all on this journey together where we can grow, glow and heal together. I pray you all continue to receive more joy and happiness. If you feel like your journey of growth, healing, happiness, and self-love have not begun, YOUR TIME IS NOW!

Love ,

TalkTimeWithTee

Your Life & Relationship Coach X

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Benvenuti a questo spazio di riflessione dedicato alle sfide e alle gioie che emergono nelle relazioni uomo-donna all’interno delle storie sentimentali. Esploriamo le complessità di queste dinamiche con curiosità e apertura, imparando a coltivare connessioni autentiche e appaganti. Riflessioni sulle Dinamiche di Relazione Uomo-Donna: Le relazioni uomo-donna spesso ci regalano momenti di gioia…

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A Friend In Need

Here’s the scenario: Julie, a hardworking secretary, lent money to her good friend Ray; $1300 to be exact. Ray had just moved to a new town and claimed that he needed two new suits: one for an upcoming wedding and one to wear on job interviews. Ray lived in a beautiful penthouse. He had a degree in Computer Science and was accustomed to the finer things in life – designer labels, frequent travel, and spa week-ends. When Ray told Julie he would repay her and signed a paper promising to do so, Julie didn’t think anything of it.

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A couple of weeks later, Ray tried to hit Julie up for more money; this time to furnish his new home. When she told him that she wouldn’t be able to help him out this time, he accused her of being cold and hung up the phone on her. Julie suddenly realized that she was being taken advantage of. Her hurt quickly turned to rage. She wanted to know how someone could be so self-serving and inconsiderate. If Julie had been weak enough to lend Ray another several hundred dollars for furniture, how could he sleep at night knowing that she had expenses of her own to look after?

We as women have an innate desire to nurture whenever possible. Many of us have learned the hard way we must always keep our guard up – spot when we may be being misled or taken advantage of. It is a common belief that a woman who is eager to lend money to a man, suffers from niavity, desperation, or poor self-esteem. But in this case it was a loan not a gift, and a friendship not a romantic relationship.

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We all know how risky it is to lend money to a friend of either sex. Some of us decide to give the lendee the benefit of the doubt because we think we know and trust them. Some of us are vigilant enough to take precautions to make the loan legally binding. The bottom line is that we need to stop stereo-typing and pointing fingers at a woman who would lend a man money. We need to take a closer look at the character of anyone who would try to take advantage of a friend’s generosity.

Along with her respect for him, Julie also lost all compassion for Ray and their so-called friendship deteriorated.? The fact of the matter is that no one can respect a man who fails to respect others. When he performs actions that are self-serving and manipulative, his sincerity, his honour, his integrity, are all called into question.

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They say,"It's not what we eat but what we digest that makes us strong; not what we gain but what we save that makes us rich; not what we read but what we remember that makes us learned; and not what we profess but what we practice that gives us integrity."

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