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regulus-blacks-lover · 1 year

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Hi it's me again

72 with regulus💚

I have a story idea, if you don't like it, you don't have to answer

Sooo you are kinda innocent, like you had sex before but unspecial without feelings. And regulus founds out you are reading smut books and want to give you the special spice experience you deserve. Maybe you are reading and he starts eating you out

Lot of love to you💓

Sorry it's taken me literal ages to write this! I hope u like it!

1,329 words

#72: “there is no way anyone is that innocent”

"What's up, little dove?" Regulus asked, plopping down onto the common room couch next to you.

You glanced up from your History of Magic textbook just long enough to shoot him an annoyed look. "I've got so much to do Reg. Gotta read this whole section of the book and write two essays by tomorrow."

He leaned his head on your shoulder to look at the chapter you'd already turned back to. "Oh the magical transparency uprisings of 1754," he said. You bit back your annoyance. Regulus was so good at history, thanks to the years of private tutoring his parents had supplied him for his entire childhood.

"I've been reading this page for twenty minutes," you groaned. "It's not sinking in. I'm doomed!"

Your best friend pulled your legs into his lap. "I'll help you." he said, positioning the textbook in your lap so you could both see it. You watched Regulus skim the page before he began summarizing the entire chapter like he'd been preparing a presentation on it. As he spoke, he traced lazy lines up your calves.

You relaxed into his touch and slowly began to understand what the dry words in your textbook had been trying to say.

It was always like this, Regulus coming to your rescue. Your best friend. Never anything more than kind words and casual, platonic contact. Sometimes you thought you caught him looking at you with something beyond just friendship in his gaze, but you always told yourself you were making it up.

You made it through another finals week, thanks to Regulus. The weather outside began warming as spring approached. You'd planned to stay at the school for the short spring break with a group of friends, but several of them had gotten into relationships during the term and had abandoned those plans in favor of spending the spring outside in their lovers arms. You couldn't fault them, but you also couldn't help the bitter jealousy that burned in your chest when you thought of how lonely you were.

You'd had a few relationships, of course, each as unfulfilling and short lived as the last. You'd never felt a spark with any of your partners, never cared for them the way you wanted to. And in return, you hadn't been properly cared for.

With the castle nearly empty, you ventured into the library, ending up in the small romance section. You rifled through a few books before finding one that was properly steamy. You tucked it under your arm and made your way back to the common room.

You find a decently private corner and begin reading, crossing your legs in search of friction as you reach the first sex scene in the book.

"He was consuming her like fire, his tongue stroking in long, slow licks, curling–"

"Hello little dove," a voice says, sitting down next to you. You start, instinctively angling your book away from view. You'd been so focused on the book that you hadn't even heard Regulus come in. Glancing around, you noticed that it was just the two of you in the room. "Please tell me you aren't studying during the break? That's so sad," he said, offering you a mock-pout.

"I'm not studying." You replied, trying to move the book further out of view.

Regulus cocked an eyebrow. He knew you too well, damn him. Before you could react, he snatched the book from your grasp, flipping it back open. You could only watch as his eyes scanned the pages, taking in the smut you'd been reading.

"I knew it. I knew there was absolutely no way anyone could be that innocent." He said, turning to smirk at you.

"What?" You asked, too embarrassed to think of anything else.

Regulus placed a hand on your knee, eyes momentarily lingering on your still crossed legs before he raised his gaze to yours again. "I thought maybe you were just so innocent, the way I touched you never felt like anything beyond just friendly touches." He said quietly. "I never let it go beyond that. I always wanted... I always wanted to make you feel good, I just thought you weren't... into that kind of thing."

Your gaze darted to his hand on your knee. As you watched, he slid his hand upward, just high enough that his thumb vanished below the hem of your skirt. Out of sight, he traced a gentle line against your thigh.

He leaned into you. "Do you want me to touch you?" He purred into your ear. His warm breath fanned across your neck.

Your voice was breathy when you replied, "Yes."

He pressed a kiss against your shoulder and asked, "Do you want me to touch you in all of those filthy ways you read about?"

You felt like you couldn't breathe. "Please." You said, all bust gasping the word out.

"Good." He said, but then he pulled his warm hand out from where it had been making its way underneath your skirt.

"Regulus, what-" you began, but he cut you off by grabbing your hips to pull you to the edge of the small couch you'd been perched on.

He knelt before you, leaning forward to kiss you. His hands were back on you, one on each thigh, trailing impossibly upward until your skirt was pushed all the way up around your waist and one of his thumbs began drawing torturously slow circles over your underwear.

You ran your fingers through his hair, pulling him deeper into the kiss. For all the times you'd wondered what it would be like to kiss him, the real thing was so much better than you'd even imagined.

You began rocking your hips ever so slightly upwards, trying to create more pressure as he touched you so gently. You felt Regulus smile into the kiss before he pulled away.

"Lean back for me, my dove." He said, gently pushing your shoulders back so you were half lying against the back of the couch.

You watched him sink down in front of you, his hands pulling your legs apart. He hooked his fingers into the sides of your panties and you lifted your hips to allow him room to shimmy the fabric down your legs. Your face flushed slightly, suddenly feeling bare and vulnerable. Regulus began to kiss his way up your legs, starting at your knees and making his way upward to your core, where his thumb was already rubbing slow circles against your clit, spreading your wetness around.

You inhaled sharply as he sucked the tender flesh of your inner thigh into his mouth, sure to leave a mark behind. His gaze flicked up to you, full of desire. "Do you want me to keep going?" He asked, waiting for you to pant out a 'yes' before continuing. He replaced his thumb with his mouth and you swore you'd never felt anything so good.

A small whimper left your mouth as he pushed a finger into your entrance, keeping his mouth locked on your clit, sucking it harshly before releasing it to lick it gently over and over.

He began to increase his pace, flicking his tongue over your core faster and faster until you were shaking under his touch. Meanwhile, he added a second finger to your pussy, curling them up into your center, hitting that sweet spot and making you cry out again.

Your hands were tangled in his hair and you bucked your hips up into his mouth, meeting his every thrust with one of your own.

"Regulus," you gasped, "Regulus, 'm gonna come."

He was unrelenting, continuing to lick and kiss and suck at you until your orgasm washed over you, more powerful than any pleasure you'd ever felt before.

When at last Regulus pulled away, you were a mess before him. "You have no idea how long I've wanted to taste you." He whispered, looking up at you from his position between your thighs.

#my writing #reg fic mine #regulus black x you #regulus black x reader #regulus black smut #regulus black fic #regulus black #blondbadbitchp

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ilyregulus · 6 months

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"I love you, but you're not mine." — Starchaser.

A/N: Hii, this is my first time writing something like this and english is not my first language, so forgive me for any mistakes and pls be kind.

The story is based on the movie "Corpse Bride" so some quotes are from there. I hope you guys like it :)

Word count: 2.9k

TW: they talk a lot about death.

“I'm not doing it.” Regulus said angrly while his mom forced him into the car.

“Oh but you so are, it's not like we asked for your opinion.” She replied risply, and to be honest, it's not like he had any hope of changing her mind, his parents never really cared about him, they cared about money, and right now, Regulus was just their way of getting it.

“What if we don't like each other, won't that be a problem?” He asked knowing that it would change nothing.

“As if that has anything to do with marriage. Do you suppose your father and I like each other?”

He actually never thought about that, in fact Regulus never thought about love at all, especially not his parents. But deep down he supposed they liked each other, at least a little. The thing is he didn't get how someone could do it, he understood very well about making alliances and how the rich must marry each other so they keep getting richer but shouldn't they like the person they were marrying or at least meet them first and have the right to choose?

Every step taken towards the mansion that would host the ceremony felt like a step towards the gallows, so while his parents talked to his soon to be parents in law, Regulus decided to take a walk through the large hall, enjoying his last minutes of his so-called freedom.

“Shit. You scared me.” A nice looking girl who was sitting by the piano said as he entered the room.

“I do apologize…You play beautifully.” He added sincerely.

“Thank you, mother won't let me near the piano, too passionate, she says…Anyway, I'm Victoria.”

“Oh.” It was all he could say for a while. “I'm Regulus.”

“I guess we weren't supposed to be seeing each other then.” She laughed.

“I suppose not.”

“Well, I always dreamt about this day, about getting married and finding someone I was deeply in love with, someone to spend the rest of my life with.” Victoria started saying.

“KILL ME” Regulus thought, what on Earth did he do to deserve this.

“Silly, isn't it?” She continued

“Yes, silly” He replied too fast.

He could apologize and he almost did but why would he? It's not like he was trying to make Victoria like him, in fact it would be really great if she didn't and somehow stopped this bullshit from happening. But she didn't stop anything and so the day arrived and there he was, standing at the altar, with his ganancious parents looking straight into his soul and there was nothing he could do.

Regulus didn't really put much effort into memorizing the vows and the amount of times he got it wrong and had to start again was getting annoying.

“This boy doesn't want to get married. How disgraceful!” Victoria's mom screamed.

“Enough! This wedding cannot take place until he is properly prepared. Young man, learn your vows.” Her father added.

He couldn't stand another minute of this, but he was going to learn it, it's not like he had another choice, and he really just wanted this day to end as fast as it could so, Regulus told everyone he would go for a walk in the woods nearby and would get back prepared, which seemed to satisfy both their families.

It really shouldn't be all that difficult. It's just a few simple vows.

“With this hand, I will take your wine. No. With this hand...I will cup your...Oh, fuck, no.With this…With this candle, I will...I will set your mother on fire.”

Oh, it's no use, he needed to do this. And so he said clearly.

“With this hand, I will lift your sorrows. Your cup will never empty, for I will be your wine.With this candle, I will light your way in darkness. With this ring...I ask you to be mine.”

“I do.” He heard a whisper as everything went dark.

“What..? What the hell happened?” He asked as his green eyes adjusted to the light once again.

“Looks like we've got ourselves a breather.” An old man said.

“Does he have a dead brother?” Asked a weird woman.

“He was very much alive last time I checked.” Regulus replied not really sure why.

“A toast then. To the newlyweds.” The first man raised his glass.

“Newlyweds?” Seriously Regulus thought, what the fuck was going on???

“In the woods, you said your vows so perfectly.”

“WHERE THE HELL AM I?” He asked without any patience.

“Well, that's a long story, a tragic tale of romance, passion and murder.”

“Look, I don't…” Regulus started saying but then he saw him.

He was standing there, with a suit falling into pieces, but Lord, he was beautiful, he had those eyes, deep and warm, that was like staring right into the sun and begging to get burned by it, and, oh, how Regulus would beg.

“Our boy was a beauty known for miles around” Continued a woman who looked like she was dead for ages “When a mysterious stranger came into town, she was plenty good-looking but down on her cash, and our poor boy here, he fell hard and fast.”

“Whatever, let me go straight to the point, the green eyes here doesn't look like he's a fan of long stories” The man interrupted. “He was about to get married and woke up in the graveyard”.

He was dead??? Oh…now he got why they all looked a little blue and weird, and the breather thing and everything else but how could…Regulus was not dead, at least he didn't feel like he was.

“So he made a vow…” He realized the man was still talking. “To wait for his true love to come set him free, and then you came.”

“Yeah really heart touching, what a shame I'm nobody's love so how do I get the fuck out of whatever this place is?” Regulus said but not really sure if that was what he actually wanted.

Don't get him wrong, it’s not like he was loving this whole being dead thing, but he didn't really have anything worth living for up there.

“Regulus, right?” Said the good looking boy, who now appeared to be his…fiancé?

“Yes but look, that's a mistake, I'm alive and you wouldn't want to be married to a man anyway”. He didn't know why but he felt so awkward near him.

“Well, I wouldn't mind.” He smiled.

Regulus wanted to curse him in any possible ways, how could someone murdered on his wedding day be so nice and…handsome.

“But I would.”

“You would mind getting married to a boy? I thought alive people were getting more open minded.”

“They aren't, which sucks, I get it, that wasn't my point.” Why was he explaining himself to a dead boy anyway?

“So you would marry a boy?” He lifted an eyebrow.

“Does it matter?”

“It does, Reg, since we are in fact married.”

REG.

He felt weak and Regulus Black does not feel weakness, he could feel his legs shaking and his lungs gasping for air, he has never, in his entire life, felt this way. There was something so magnetic about this boy, so charming and inviting that Regulus could almost hear their souls asking to collide. But Regulus didn't believe in love, did he?

“Look, I am terribly sorry about what's happened to you...and I'd like to help, but I really need to get home.” He said, trying not to look too much at the boy.

“This is your home now.”

“I don't even know your name and that's not a great way to start a marriage so I really should be going.”

“It’s James.”

Five letters had never made such a beautiful sound, Regulus could swear this name was made to be on his lips, he was sure he dreamed about it before. Who was he trying to fool, his parents weren't there to see anything and it's not like someone could hear his thoughts, Regulus Black did believe in love, he wanted it so badly, but he just couldn't, it's not what he was made for, love was not for him, besides, he was falling for a dead man, how ridiculous does that sounds?

“Does it hurt...dying?” He asked without thinking it would be disrespectful.

“No more than being alive.” James replied.

Regulus smiled, as horrible as it sounded he felt some kind of comfort in that.

“I almost forgot, I have something for you, a wedding present.” James said happily, giving him a black box with a red ribbon on it.

“Scraps?” He sounded confused as he looked at an amount of bones that was turning into a dog “Scraps! That's my dog Scraps!”

“I imagined you'd like to see him again.”

“He was my best friend…My only friend.” Regulus said with a sad tone in his voice. “Mother never approved of him, so she gave her way, but then again, she never approved of anything, and she always gives her way.”

James was hurt to see the boy like this, he wanted to hug him, to comfort him and say that with him he could have anything, James could love him, indeed he could, he wanted to. But instead he just asked a friendly question.

“Do you wanna go back home, Reg?”

No. He didn't want to, there was nothing up there for him and his mother was probably so furious that he would go back to where he was right now really quickly.

“Yes James, I must go.” Was what he replied.

“There may be a way of doing it.” James handed him a tiny bottle he took out of his pocket.

“Really?” Regulus said almost as if he did not believe it was that simple. “You have a magic potion with you all this time?”

“Well, I like to visit the living world sometimes…”

“And couldn't you tell me sooner?”

“I wanted you to stay.”

“You know that's selfish of you right?” Regulus asked, frustrated. “You're dead, I'm alive and besides that you don't even know me, we are not married James, can't you see that?”

If he knew the amount of sadness that would appear in James’ face he would've never said that because in Regulus' mind a boy like James was not meant for sadness, he was.

“But I could know you…” Was all he heard before drinking the potion and waking up in the woods again.

When he opened his eyes he realized he missed the fresh air in his skin, the smell of grass and the sounds of living nature, but deep inside he felt like he was letting something behind.

“Victoria?” He asked, entering the piano room once again.

“Regulus!” She exclaimed. “I was so worried, what happened? You're as cold as death.”

He thought it was funny that she said that.

“I'm sorry…I didn't want to get married and you deserve someone who does.” He was sincere when he said that, she seemed like a nice girl who was unfortunate to have the same fate as him.

“I know I do.” She replied with a smile. “And you deserve to do it only when you're ready to, but I don't think we're this lucky.

“This is going to sound really unexpected but…I guess I am already married.” Regulus told her.

“You what?”

“To me. He's married to me.” James said coming out of nowhere.

“He's dead.” Regulus hurried to say as if this could possibly make things better. The truth is he was feeling kinda euphoric to see James there, he doesn't deal well with emotions and this whole situation was very confusing. One of the reasons he left in such a hurry was that he didn't know what to say to James, and seeing him there was making his brain collapse.

“You lied to me.” James said betrayed. “You have somebody else.”

“Victoria is not somebody else, actually, you are.” He corrected.

“But you married me first”. What can he say, the boy got a point.

“This is not going to work, James.”

“Why not? It's my glasses, isn't it?” He asked worried.

“No, it's not your glasses, they are fine, they look…attractive.” Regulus hadn't thought about that before but the glasses did give James kind of a sexy look. “Listen, under different circumstances, well, who knows? But we're just too different. I mean, you're dead.”

“You should've thought about that before you asked me to marry you.” James seemed offended.

“Why can't you understand? It was a mistake. I would never marry you.”

Once again sadness became part of his face and once again Regulus regretted saying that. He was so divided between what he was supposed to do and what he wanted to, but he said one thing right, they were too different, they didn't even belong to the same world.

That was the thing about fate, this treacherous and invisible little thing that seemed to have so much power over him, he couldn't control it, and Regulus hated not being able to control things.

“Perhaps you do belong with her. Little Miss Living, with her rosy cheeks and beating heart.” He replied before disappearing into a cold and sad mist.

“Victoria, I don't know how to explain…” He began but was interrupted by her.

“You don't need to, I saw it in your eyes.” She said softly. “You want to be with him.”

Maybe she was right. He had never felt his heart beat that fast, ironic how James could make him feel so alive. But how could they do this? It was impossible for them to be together, it seemed like no one listened to the amount of times he told that he was alive while James was not and he was almost certain you couldn't bring someone back.

“I know what you are thinking, and you're right, but there's a way, you can be the one to join him.” She said as if it was a normal thing to say out loud.

“You're saying I should die?”

“For love, I would.” She explained how it should be done and left him alone to think.

Regulus sat by the piano and started playing some notes to distract himself, how could he make such a decision?

His life was lonely, empty, and surrounded by darkness, he knew that his only purpose was to serve his parents' orders and carry on the family legacy, but how much did that cost him? His freedom for sure, and maybe his soul was just fading along with it. There was nothing he could proudly say it was worth staying alive for, but maybe, just maybe he had something, or someone, worth dying for. And just like everything else that happened in his life, that was some dramatic shit.

And there he was, standing at the altar, with hungry eyes fixed on him, but with Victoria's kind and supportive smile telling him it was okay. And so he said.

“With this hand, I will lift your sorrows. Your cup will never empty, for I will be your wine. With this candle, I will light your way in darkness. With this ring, I ask you to be mine, James.”

“I now pronounce you man and wife…wait what?” He heard the priest say before his vision blurred and he woke up on the other side.

“Reg?” James asked kindly looking at his newly opened green eyes. It was like staring at the great wide ocean, full of beauty and mysteries, and James was desperate to dive in. He wanted to fill himself with his water, let his salt heal his wounds, and more than anything, he wanted to be part of it, just like Regulus was part of the dark sky. “You can't be here. I love you, Regulus. But you're not mine.”

“But I want to, James. I really do. You and Victoria made me realize that sometimes you need to take the threads of fate and trace them yourself, and so I did it, and now I am yours.” He declaired taking James hands.

“That was too much for me to ask, I couldn't have done this.” The boy answred sadly.

“You didn't. You just showed me that I do have feelings in my heart, deep ones, and I want to be embraced by it, I should be allowed to it, shouldn't I? I know now that there's love and beauty in death as much as there's pain and horror in living. I wasn't living James, I was destined for the void, I didn't even have a soul to call mine, and with you I have everything. You didn't asked me to do it, you just showed me the way and I was the one who decided to take the path.” Regulus didn't even know he had all those things inside him, all those words and those feelings, but now it was like he was meant to say it, he had never felt lighter, and nothing has ever felt this right.

“I thought I would never see you again.” Was all James said as he got closer and give him one small kiss pulling way for an instant, just so he could see a smile appearing in Regulus’ lips, and then doing it again.

When two worlds collided it felt like they were always one, like the stars and the sea were all just one big thing embracing the one who was meant for them, fate didn't look that treacherous now, it looked beautiful and it tasted like hope, like not even death could pull those two forces of the universe apart, because if Regulus was a star than James was the biggest one. For him, James was the sun.

“You set me free.” Said James.

“You did the same.” Regulus replied. “And if a heart can still break once it's stopped beating, please don't break mine.”

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whinlatter · 1 year

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Hello, I was hoping you could provide some of your brilliant insight to this ask: How many people knew about the horcruxes in the end? Dumbledore told Harry not to tell anyone, but Harry kind of announced it during his battle with Voldemort, and everyone knew he sacrificed himself. Hagrid witnessed it, and so did the DE. I’m sure this started rumours about how the Potter boy cannot be killed by the AK curse. Hagrid must have wanted answers too, because watching Harry sacrifice himself and then come back alive after he watched the AK curse kill him would have been detrimental. So besides Ron and Hermione, who else knew about the Horcruxes and the reason Harry sacrificed himself? Did the Order know? Did he tell the DA? Did he tell Ginny?

Damn, I wish I had brilliant insight - alas, all I have is a pathological inability to stop running my mouth and a crippling hyperfixation. To that end... loved this question, so thoughts about whether or not Harry ran his mouth about the Horcruxes after the war (and to whom) below the cut!

This is such an interesting question and one I think about alllll the time and am desperate to have a stab at writing about at some point (like everyone, lol). On Horcruxes - I think Harry (and the trio, to a lesser extent) would feel less beholden to Dumbledore's instruction not to tell anyone after Voldemort has gone. I think it would be more a case of the trio trying to decide how much is safe for the public at large to know, in case they embolden lesser, weaker copycats. (There's that great conversation between Harry and Hermione in chapter one of Castles by @pebblysand about the Harry/Voldemort showdown honestly makes me laugh every time - Hermione basically being like, why did you have to publicly confirm the existence of an Elder Wand? Just how dumb are you? Harry like sorry it was obviously improv???)

I imagine Harry will tell the public a small amount (a much simpler story that does broad outline, light on detail, the focus of which is exonerating Snape and rehabilitating Dumbledore). I think he tells the Order and the DA - so all of those loyal to him who both deserve information and who witnessed the Harry/Voldemort conversation - a much fuller but still incomplete story in a private address at the Burrow where the trio share it between them and their comrades can ask questions. I think this version would cover Dumbledore's plan, the Horcruxes, details about the Horcrux hunt, the context of the Elder Wand, the Snape story, the Regulus arc, etc. I like to think Ron would choose to tell his family what really happened that last Christmas during this session (though Harry and Hermione would insist he doesn't need to), and talks about how and why he messed up in a way that shows how far he's come (and also lets Bill off the hook for snubbing his mother's Christmas in the middle of a war lmao). I think this conversation wouldn't cover the Hallows and that Harry would decline to talk in to much detail about what happened in the Forest, which I think all three of the trio would agree was both too personal and too dangerous (given the Stone) to share, especially to a room of grief-stricken friends and family who may well be drawn to an object that allows them to reach out to the dead.

I do think, though, that he tells Ginny everything. I don't think he'd ask permission from Ron and Hermione, per se, but he'd give them the heads up that he intends to let one more person in on this secret between them and Dumbledore. I think Ginny gets the whole truth: Horcruxes, Hallows, what happened in the Forest - and I think he tells her over the course of that summer. Canonically, that's his intent and priority at the end of the series: she deserves to know, and he needs her to know. The would he tell her question for me is less tricky to think about than the how. These would be very difficult conversations: I actually think they'd be unbearable for Ginny to hear, in many many different ways: what happened in the Forest, of course, but also just how horrific it would be for her to discover a part of Riddle's soul, the same thing that was in the Diary, was living inside the person she loves the whole time. (I think a lot about that OotP 'lucky you' scene. What's crazy about that scene in retrospect is that Harry comes out of it reassured by Ginny that he isn't being possessed - but of course, the truth is neither of them should be reassured. Harry feels better thinking this is different to what happened to Ginny, but actually their experiences have more in common than they realise (though are still ofc distinct): Harry's got a bit of Voldemort's soul in him, the same thing that controlled and terrorised little Gin. It's a classic example of the series' many ironies: characters coming so close to the truth but getting it (understandably but terribly) wrong. Even the thought of living alongside the locket at Grimmauld in the OotP summer - I think Ginny would find the thought of that, in retrospect, absolutely sickening).

All this is to say: I think the trio deliberately cultivate public silence over certain very volatile aspects of the Horcrux/Hallows story (in ways that probably does incur a certain degree of public speculation and resentment). But I think Gin gets the whole picture. I can't imagine Harry ever wanting to keep it from her (or even managing to - the man let slip their plan at the dinner table in DH. He's not keeping secrets from that girl. Man canonically sees those big brown eyes and starts running his damn mouth)

PS. Obsessed with the idea of rumours that AK can't kill Harry. I'm sure it would be in his professional interest when hunting the last of the Death Eaters to keep that particular myth going lol. Avada Kedavra? Can't kill me, mate. Good luck to ya

#myrtle is lowkey kind of a mood #horcruxes #meta #hinny #thank you anon i loved thinking about this #ask #also if i haven't answered your ask yet SORRY #forgive me #am trying to get through em #but if i don't answer it's either because i don't have tons to say and/or don't want to give away beasts spoilers if that's ok!

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floralembarrassment · 1 year

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Wants and Prayers (1/1) (jegulus)

Regulus didn't ask for much. Growing up he knew he wasn't supposed to, that it would only get him in trouble. But materially he never really needed anything anyways.

He wanted though. His mother always taught him that he shouldn't get what he wants, he didn't deserve it, he hadn't earned it. He still isn't sure he would ever be worthy enough to have what he wanted. But yes. The Black heir, solemn prince of Slytherin, potion master... yes he may have been cold but he wanted one thing and one thing only... love.

In a desperate moment, under the protection of night, high on a potion he should have sold to a 7th year instead of taking it himself, he begged the page of his diary to understand. He wrote:

I want this agonizing and enduring love. This achingly painful and agitatingly itchy sensation that can only be dug out by nails scratching at skin. Drawing blood.

A love that can only be felt in the right clenching of a jaw, the gritting of teeth, the baring of oneself fully, completely. It's frost bite hot and blue flames cold.

I want the love that is hungry and emptying and passionate and hard. That's obsessive and infatuated and all around destroying.

The life altering

Heart stopping

Breath catching

Maddening

Senseless

Love.

A love that is also the sweetest story every told.

On his knees, he looked up at the sky. Almost in sync, his prayers were interrupted when someone walked into his space. James.

"What are you thinking about?" He asked softly. Never a hello with this one. Regulus, who was somewhere between the delusion of a delirious plea and desperation of a hopefully reality, turned to look at James. James' eyes widened just a bit, a breath catching that quickly blew out, knocked over but the flushed cheeks and watery stormy eyes and the pale skin of the face looking back at him.

James couldn't help himself. He closed the distance, dropping to his knees, and bringing one hand up to cup Regulus' face. Regulus' hand found James' wrist, and he spoke the truest words that ever came to him, that still no one would understand: "this is torture James. But I hear suffering feels religious if you do it right. And I want to feel holy again."

#jegulus #starchaser #sunseeker #marauders #james x regulus #james potter #regulus black #harry potter #fanfic #marauders era #regulus arcturus black #james fleamont potter #lgbtq+#fluff and angst #my love

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ghaniblue · 7 months

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To celebrate finishing the final draft of my Regulus/Harry/Draco fic, have another snippet. 22k and only took me 1 1/2 years to finish.

The dining room was just the beginning. Back in Regulus' good graces, Draco began a one man campaign to disrupt Harry's peace and quiet and carefully cultivated routine of doing nothing much at all.

He barged into the sitting room where Harry was laying on the sofa, restlessly flipping through channels on the telly without settling on anything. "Enough, Potter," he cried, "I can't take it anymore! It's one thing for you to live like this, but this is Regulus' house, and he deserves better."

Harry waved a hand, only half listening to Draco's dramatics. "Yes, yes, I know. I'm a no-good Gryffindor slob, I've heard your rants many times before. Did I leave my towel on the bathroom floor again?"

Draco threw his arms in the air. "Why am I even talking to you?"

"Beats me."

"Fine. Just do as you're told and no one'll get hurt."

"Alright, Malfoy. Can I get back to my program now? I was in the middle of something." Which was a blatant lie, but what Draco didn't know he couldn't rant about.

The story is posted now: Sleeping With Ghosts

Tagging to share some WIP snippet if so desired: @starquestingfordrarry @epitomereally @oknowkiss @skeptiquewrites @thebooktopus @thehoneybeet @citrusses @kbrick

#regarry #drarry #regulus x draco #harry x regulus #regdrarry #regulus black #acari writes #six sentence sunday #acari writes drarry

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artemisia-black · 1 year

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Monthly fic recs (February edition)

Here are my Feb Fic recs (January's is here)

I've decided to do a monthly roundup of the fics I've been enjoying as a thank you to the amazing writers who bring me so much joy.

This list is in no order.

The ghost of you, it keeps me awake by @gracelesslady23

James Potter died protecting his family on 31 October 1981. At least that’s the story everybody had been told. Fourteen years after that fateful night, a Ministry raid of uncovers an almost forgotten prisoner detained in the dungeons deep beneath Lestrange Manor. The discovery will send ripples throughout the wizarding world. Or, a reimagining of the Order of Phoenix if James Potter hadn’t died on Halloween night.

2. Circinius by @mariekavanagh

March 1984. Walburga Black sits alone in Grimmauld Place, accompanied only by her ghosts, a broken woman with little left to live for. The House of Black lays in ruins, it's members scattered, awaiting its inevitable demise. Until, one day, a Ministry owl comes tapping at her window, bearing news that offers a last chance to change the course of her life - and the fate of the Black family.

Seizing the opportunity to free her son from Azkaban and secure him the trial he was denied, Walburga quickly finds out that three years in prison has done little to quell Sirius Black's rebellious spirit, and it is soon clear that he is not going to simply follow the plans she has so carefully laid out for him.

As the impending trial approaches, both Sirius and Walburga must grapple with their broken relationship and stormy past - and Sirius himself must decide whether he will seize the chance of the freedom offered to him, or whether he will send himself back to Azkaban for the punishment he is so convinced he deserves.

3. But tonight your hand is steady by @broomsticks

Five times Lily walked away and one time she stayed. Canon compliant.

4. Sore subject by @incalculablepower

The High Priestess, reversed. Trust your intuition. Your true self is waiting; she refuses to be contained for much longer.

5. Mint chocolate by @siriusly-sapphic

While waiting for her sisters in Diagon Alley, Narcissa Black goes to sit at the ice cream parlour where Alice Fortescue happens to be working.

6. Ithildin and Silmë by @blitheringmcgonagall

Seated on a low chair at his father’s left hand, Sirius watched as Orion’s dark mood deepened. His father was angry, he could see the agitation, displeasure, disdain written across his once handsome face. There was naught new in this, his father had long preferred his younger brother, Regulus. Regulus, the dutiful son, who had always bent to his father’s will. Regulus, whose seat at Orion’s right hand now lay empty.

7. Every other freckle by @leogichidaa

After a decade of being everything to each other, Regulus and Evan have their loyalty tested as tensions rise in their final year of Hogwarts.

#artemisia fic recs #harry potter fanfiction

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halfblood-princes-crown · 2 years

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What is your opinion on Regulus black? Mauraders always say "Regulus deserves better" but do not bother to give him a unique and logical story they make him knockoff Snape, Regulus can't be a nice and fair teacher if he was double agent, He would of been murdered. If Regulus deserves anything, it's better fans.

Hi Anon!!!

You are absolutely correct, Marauder stans act like they don’t like Snape but then give all of their precious plot piece characters his flaws/achievements. Regulus Black is literally nothing. He was mentioned like once💀✋🏽. He did nothing but make things harder and he was literally (canonically) obsessed with Voldemort…and since Snaters like to use this argument: he only changed sides because someone he cared about was in danger. Literally. Every time I see something from a regulus stan it’s always like “What if Regulus was in love with James and after he died he swore to protect his son, so he became a professor at Hogwarts and was nice to Harry and told him about his father and-“ BRO! Literally Walmart Snape…I don’t like Regulus Black only because of his fans, especially considering we don’t know literally nothing about him in canon except that he was useless and obsessed with his evil wizard crush...

Like you said, I don’t think they realize that Severus was literally teaching the CHILDREN of DEATH EATERS…if one of them caught whiff of him being all sweet to the kid the Dark Lord was after…and SNITCHED? Crucio wouldn’t even begin to describe what Voldemort would do to him…It’s even said on Pottermore that it’s a facade. Do I think some of his attitude was genuinely him? Yes, but he kinda had no choice but to be an asshole. He was a double spy. But Marauder stans don’t seem to have a brain so we can’t explain that to them.

@serpenera explained here why Marauder stans like these plot devices and hate on Snape. Going by your question I think you’ll find it interesting!

#anti regulus black #anti marauder fandom #anti snaters #severus snape #pro snape #pro severus snape #hp fandom #snape community #anti marauders

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lifeandlies-of-regulusblack · 1 year

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Regulus deserves so much more than to be delegated the poor role of his brother's moral and characteristic foil.

He was in the same abusive household and got no help. At all.

His story deserves to be told with consideration of the things that factored into his descent. Just as we have to be mindful of the opportunities Sirius got to have as he was gathering the courage to leave his home.

Sirius broke free from his family, fully intending to live. Regulus did the closest he could, to defy his upbringing but with the somber knowledge he wasn't going to make it out alive. There's a difference there.

These two brothers mean the world to me. At the same time, it's hard to read some of the bashing regulus gets, when it's CLEAR some of you have no idea what goes on in abusive households.

It's also astounding how some people think a child "should've been abused" for his own trauma to even warrant some kind of any actual thought.

Why do i keep hoping for any sociological or psychological nuance in these conversations when it's clear i'm not gonna get this from fandom spaces.

#regulus black #the black brothers #black brothers #regulus black is unwell #marauders era #jegulus

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fonkeloog · 1 year

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Snippet Sunday

thanks for the tag @moonwalker94writes and @heartofspells. It took me a little bit to think of what I’d want to share, but here it is!

Tag: @sweetpeasandlilies @lilyflxwers @loubbies @queerdeadwizards (no pressure tho!)

CW: references to child abuse.

They’re standing in the drawing room and he can feel his hands shake. That’s another thing he knows. Just as he knows that it’s his task as newly introduced heir to cast out the first person to get cast out. He has to burn their face off the wall, something he has witnessed happening so many times he can almost dream the spell needed. He can do this with his eyes closed, but he doesn’t want to. He wants to feel the burning of tears in his eyes, the smoke in his lungs. He wants to watch as the last form of safety and ease gets burned off the wall, and ripped out of his soul.

He knew it wouldn’t be a nice experience, because nothing in this house could be described as nice anymore. He was prepared for something to happen. But nothing he imagined came even a little close to the ache he feels after it has been done. His soul feels like Snape decided to practice that weird sectumsempra spell of his onto it. He feels like his deepest thoughts have been laid out for everyone to see and tear apart.

He doesn’t cry, doesn’t think there will ever be a way to release the tears he has locked away. His heart hasn’t stopped bleeding, screaming for comfort, longing for the one person it can’t long for. He can finally read without his peace being disrupted by him, but all he wants is for that disruption to return. He sleeps in a sweater that’s way too big for his frame, he can’t remember the last time he had a nutritious meal and he’s cold all the time.

The house has never been warm, but there was warmth to be found if one knew where to look. That warmth left when the fire died. Maybe he’ll be able to find it once he returns to school. He doesn’t need a big roaring flame, just a little spark to light a candle so he can warm his hands above it. He doesn’t even know if the flame is still burning somewhere else, hidden away from the rain and wind trying to blow its life-force away. He hopes that whoever has the flame is taking care of him and appreciates his warmth.

He buries himself deeper into the sweater, inhaling deeply when the smell of worn leather, rosemary and clove fill his nostrils. It’s a weak substitute for the real thing, and maybe he doesn’t deserve the comfort it gives him. But it’s warm and reminds him of the nights spend hidden in the room just next door, the only place he ever considered safe.

It throws him back to the first bruises that left his skin after whispered words and soft touches with warm hands. He had just returned from Hogwarts for the Yule break, and everything had been fine. Until Regulus asked him what school was like. The amicable mood seemed to fly away almost instantly, and he can still hear the first hit. After that it’s hazy, until he told him to go upstairs and wait. Then it’s whispered apologies, promises now broken and newly learned healing spells. It’s a seemingly throw-away comment about staying because the story wasn’t done yet and you need to be as prepared as possible. It’s a mumble that sounds like “love you” but gets taken by the wind as soon as the air grips it.

#Sea of Tears #cw: implied child abuse #black brothers angst #snippet #me and my wips

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rglsrctrsblck · 10 months

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✨i would've made such a lovely bride (but he'll patch up the tapestry that i shred)✨

part iv : letting go

"Er du sikker på at du vil at jeg skal bli med deg tilbake til Hellas?" (You're certain you want me to come back with you to Greece?) Remus asked in amusement as he leant against the door, shirtless and only wearing sweatpants that hung way too fucking low on his hips.

"Selvsagt er jeg sikker, din tøffe Viking. Er du sikker på at du vil bli med?" (Of course I'm certain, you daft Viking. Are you certain you want to come with?) His way of speaking the language was still rough, considering he'd only been with for almost two weeks, but the pleased smile on his partner's face said that it didn't matter. Because to him, James was just the right amount of perfect in whatever he did.

"Å, jeg vil gjerne. Jeg ville bare at du skulle være sikker." (Oh, I'd love to. I just wanted you to be sure.) James smiled, dropping the rest of his clothes in favour of walking over to the taller and looping his arms around his neck, tugging him down gently for a kiss. Remus happily kissed back, hands gentle over his waist. "Du er så jævla vakker. Jeg kunne giftet meg med deg akkurat nå." (You are so fucking beautiful. I could marry you right now.)

James playfully glared at him, giggling when the other kissed his neck. It had been a running inside thing between the two of them. On James' first night of being shown around by Remus, a lovely elderly couple had mistaken them to be husbands before he tried to explain in English how they weren't married. Until Remus said that they weren't married yet and not to spoil the surprise. Of course, the couple believed he was being honest and grinned despite James' splutters, tugged him along with their fingers entwined, never once letting him go.

That was what made him fall for Remus in the first place.

Remus had been so understanding, and listened to him intently after assuring him that he wouldn't be judged. He told his story and how he left his home to move to a different country just to heal himself. How he agreed to be the best man in his ex-lover's wedding to keep a promise he made years ago. How he chose to stay despite every nerve in his body telling him to go. And Remus admired him for it. Said he didn't think he could ever deal with that if he had been the one in his place. James argued otherwise. But nonetheless, he called James a hero. A selfless hero that deserved everything in the world.

"Du lar meg distrahere deg. Men kommer vi tilbake til Hellas?" (You're letting me distract you. However will we make it back to Greece?) James giggled and hopped up, wrapping his legs around the other's hips and gasping at their proximity.

"Jeg kan takle en distraksjon eller to en stund, ja." (I can deal with a distraction or two for a while, yeah.) Remus only smirked before kissing him again, deeper this time as he slowly began to walk over to the bed.

They did eventually have to part minutes later when James' phone rang with a ringtone that he never thought he'd ever hear again.

Remus squeezed the skin on his waist and set him down with a soft smile, gently pushing him to the direction of the coffee table.

"Regulus?" He whispered, not sure what he was expecting.

"Just what the hell are you fetching from your car that's taking too long to get?" The younger asked in amusement, making James huff out a laugh.

"I'm fetching my wonderful ego, ever heard of her?"

"Oh? I didn't know you were transgender too?"

"My dick didn't seem plastered on to you?" Regulus let out an honest-to-god giggle, sighing after.

"I miss you, you idiot."

"Hey, you're the only one who didn't tell me that in a past tense. It's always the past tense with the others, makes me feel like I died."

"To be fair, you almost did. Pardon our friends if it stuck."

"Fair enough."

"I… I really do miss you, Jamie," Was… oh, fuck him, was Regulus fucking on the verge of crying?! "You were gone. Again. God, and it rained the night you left so I got worried and –"

"Reg.. Reggie, breathe. You're hearing my voice, aren't you? I'm okay."

"Thanks to you, that's not even a word anymore." James giggled, letting Remus hold him against his chest.

"How was the honeymoon?"

"It was… god, it was amazing, Jamie."

"Is he treating you well?"

"Always…" he could hear the love and adoration even if they were in very different places just from his voice alone. And that was all he needed to know that he made the right decision.

"Good. Do tell him that if he ever decides to cross you, I will shatter his kneecaps." Regulus giggled, and just like that, it was as if they were in high school again, giggling in the broom closets after running from Sirius and their then friends.

"I think he knew that, knows. Told me you intimidated him."

"Me? Intimidating? Little old me?"

"Oh, get off that high horse."

"Hm, high stag, you mean."

"Oh, yes. Definitely." A beat. "Are you being treated well?" Regulus never had to ask if there was anyone. Anyone who knew James in and out would recognise the happiness in his vocal tone alone, making the older smile that Regulus still knew him well enough to know he was happy.

"Yes. I've caught myself a Viking."

"I'm glad. I'm so… I'm so happy for you, Jamie."

"As I am for you."

"Thank you. For keeping your promise and being my best man. For helping me with our parents." James wanted to tell him that it wasn't him who had assured that their parents would be there, but he let it slide, just happy that Regulus was living his life.

"I'll take it you're back in England?"

"No, we decided to stay in Greece for a bit. We're actually in the bar Evan found you in."

"Is this supposed to be a full circle moment? Because my flight's not supposed to be for another few hours."

"We can wait or come back here, Jamie. But we want to welcome you home."

"Oh." There was comfortable silence between them for a few minutes, to each their own, before Regulus spoke again.

"I'll always love you. You know that, right?"

"Of course, Reggie. I've loved you from Leonis Vega to Regulus Arcturus and have had no regrets since."

"Okay."

"Come home to us, James."

And come home he did. With Remus' fingers entwined with his, their bags in hand, they came home.

Home was his house in Greece.

Home was his friends waiting for him at the very bar he ran from.

Home was Remus Lupin's hands.

Home was the love he had for all of them.

He was home.

FIN.

#marauders

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lavenderlyncis · 1 year

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Sunday snippet

Thank you @propheciesanddreams for tagging me!!

You get another sad Midnights snippet :)

Speak of the devil and he shall appear. Regulus' phone vibrated in his back pocket. One glance revealed that he was being called by an unknown number. Since he was too drunk to understand who would most likely be on the other side, he excused himself to the restroom, which was surprisingly empty, and picked up.

"Hello?" He slurred into his phone.

"Regulus, I'm so sorry."

Oh. Of course. It was him.

Regulus scoffed. "There's nothing you can do to make this right again."

"Please, let me try! I'd do anything!" James was begging, but Regulus wouldn't let himself crack. No, he had a spine now. And actual self-respect. At least, that was what he told himself. Fake it til you make it and all that.

"Fuck off, Potter, seriously."

"Are you... are you drunk?" James asked with more than a hint of worry.

Regulus rolled his eyes and leaned against the tile of the wall. How annoying James could be. "Who are you to care?"

"Are you in a safe environment?"

"I can make my own decisions. I'm an adult, you know?"

A sigh came from the other side. "Yeah, I know. I trust you, of course."

"As if I care."

"We shouldn't have this talk while you're drunk," James stated, seeming rather disappointed.

Regulus let out a, perhaps rather manic laugh. "We shouldn't have this talk at all, you bastard. What do you want? Forgivenes? Even you can't be that fucking stupid."

"I just want to- I don't know. Explain? Yeah, I think I want to explain. I don't deserve your forgiveness, I know that, but at least listen to my perspective."

"You cheated on me," Regulus said. No heat. A simple statement. "Or I guess, I was the one you cheated with."

"That's-"

"I should've known better," he interrupted James, strangely void of emotion now. "It's too late, James. You're too late."

And wasn't that the irony?

This was exactly what he had wanted the whole time, James on his knees, begging for forgiveness. But it came way too late. If he had called some months ago, Regulus would have leapt in joy, accepting James back without a single thought. But not now. Not ever.

Regulus had been naive. He was so lost in a dream that the cold awakening to reality left him drowning, gasping for air.

This wasn't a fairytale, a nice story with a happy ending. This was Regulus' life, a life that was destined to revolve around leaving and being left, a circle that would repeat indefininetly. And James had left.

"Regulus," James whispered, broken. What right did he have to be broken?

"Never call me again."

#cw: implied infidelity #but it wasn't actual infedility #regulus is just dramatic and phrases it like that #lyn is writing #sunday snippet #fic: midnights #midnights night 3 #fearless b #jegulus #regulus black #james potter

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sophsicle · 2 years

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HE NEEDED SOMEBODY AND THEY ALL LEFT HIM ALONE I WAS SOBBING

Hello lovely! I apologise in advance, because I'm totally highjacking your ask to go on a larger rant (or ramble...rant is maybe too angry).

I've been finding that people really want there to be a good guy and a bad guy in every situation and, if it isn't clear by now, I don't really think that's how most things work. One of the reasons that this story is told from multiple POVS is that I'm a big fan of Einstein's Theory of Relativity: Everyone has their own frame of reference and everyone is experiencing everything relative to that frame of reference (this is obviously exactly how Einstein's theory of relativity works you don't need to look it up I am a highly qualified theoretical physicist)

SO, James is not abandoned by anyone. Not even Lily, who kinda would be justified in abandoning James if she wanted to. But she doesn't. She comforts him and takes care of him through his panic attack after finding out that Regulus is dead, puts him to bed, tells him to eat when he gets up, and tells him to call someone when she leaves. A whole day later, she makes sure to ask someone to go and check on him because she wants to make sure he isn't alone. That is not what abandonment looks like. Sirius is more complicated, but if we go back to the idea that we're all operating from our own frames of reference, as far as Sirius knows, James is over Regulus. He hasn't talked to him or about him for basically three years at this point, triple the time they were together. He's also with someone else - having a baby with someone else. So while he knows that James will be upset, which is why he contacts him, he has no way of knowing how upset James will be. Which is both James and Sirius's fault - James has purposefully withheld information from Sirius, Sirius hasn't made himself particularly easy to talk to about this subject. When Sirius tells James, James hides his reaction the best he can and tells Sirius to be with his family. It is not Sirius's fault that he doesn't realize in that moment how hard James is taking the news. Or that he doesn't realize it will lead to Lily leaving and James being alone. Additionally, Sirius is also dealing with his own grief. Which, while it might be different from James's, is not lesser, nor less important. And two days later he shows up on James's doorstep as is his habit so, he doesn't stay away for long. Frank.

I swear if I see one more person say "Frank was only there because he was asked" I will break something. Back, once again, to frames of reference, until Frank talks to Lily and Mary he has no idea anything has happened (why would he? why do people think he should have known that something happened?) Yes, Lily asks him to check on James, but he would have gone anyway after finding out James was in a bad place. But he didn't know - not about Lily leaving and not about Regulus dying and not about Regulus and James. The minute Frank is made aware there is something to show up for he shows up. James could have contacted him himself but he didn't. Because he's afraid of what Frank will think. James doesn't ask for help. His self sacrificing instincts isolate him. No one purposefully leaves him alone. Now, for the other side of this. The "James is a horrible human being who deserves no sympathy" side of this. It has become clear to me that my feelings around "infidelity" are not necessarily the same as everyone else's. Which is cool. Again, frames of reference. But here's what I will say: James does not have an affair. He never purposefully seeks Regulus out, the two situations he is in with him are out of his control, he's not purposefully betraying Lily. He crosses boundaries with Regulus absolutely. But it's not premeditated. And when things escalate he stops them and says "this is wrong I don't want to do this this way" which matters to me. He also is honest with Lily about it, it takes him a while, but he could have kept lying to her and he doesn't. And that also matters to me. Quite frankly, if the worst thing you ever do in your life is kiss the wrong person at the wrong time, you're doing ok. So I think some of you are being a bit harsh. But again. That is me speaking from my own frame of reference. In any case. James is not perfect. Neither are the people around him. But I do not think James is the bad guy here. Nor do I think Lily or Sirius are the bad guys. Like Frank says, you can fuck up and hurt people and not be a complete write off as a human being. Because the truth is, at some point, all human beings fuck up and hurt people.

#choices #soph rambles

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dear-evanrosier · 2 years

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Tw- refrences/talk of past child abuse, a little internalized homophobia, death

When Regulus had first come to Godric's Hollow, he didn't have anything.

A brother who hated him, keeping his boyfriend away from Regulus at all costs. An ex who had taken him in despite everything nasty that had transpired between them, the same smile gracing his features before his eyes fell on his shoulder, on his chest, on the bruises and scars that had littered over us body. Over the words sliced into his back, that his mother thought would keep him "pure." And James' face morphed into such unbridled rage that he couldn't bear to see look him in the eye, because he deserved it. He had hurt his mother, giving in to the wicked temptation that was James Potter. But she had hurt him back, one too many times and he fled. He was a coward and fled, leaving one of the few people who had cared for him to deal with his mother's wrath.

But he wasn't sorry. Not for being with James, not for leaving. A little voice in head that sounded strikingly like the one that used to whisper to him in the dead of the night, pressing lips to his skin between murmurs. "You deserve happiness," the voice told him, whenever his mind strayed to James, and it was that which convinced him to leave.

Into Godric's Hallow, where a little family already resided, their toddler dawdling around their ankles and babbling to Sirius, Renus scooping him up.

The picture perfect family Regulus could never have.

Lily. He had Lily, for a little while. She had nothing against him, seemed to like him even. She chatted away with him, shared books and smiles over cups of tea, always kind despite how he didnt deserve it.

Then Lily died. And who did he have, but the little boy she had left, such a shocking resemblance to his father it was uncanny.

He had climbed into Regulus' lap at one night, looking up at him with bright green eyes, the one thing his mother had passed down.

"Reggie, story? Story, please?" He had asked, pressing his chubby little hands to Regulus' cheeks.

And who was he to deny a child a bedtime story? So he had allowed Harry to crawl into his lap, press a cheek to the man's chest and thrust The Tales of Beedles the Bard into his hands, A tale of Three Brothers already opened.

So he read. And it began a nightly thing, Harry shoving a new book into his hands each night, cuddling into his chest until he fell asleep and Regulus would carry him to bed.

And when James had taken go him again, he was ready. He wanted it. He had long since grown beyond his self hatred, the thoughts that had gnawed away from him no longer spared a glance.

And slowly, piece by piece, Regulus had something. He had a family. One that had properly loved him. One that held him at night, huddled under blankets as he shook and cried when memories plagued his dreams. One that still came to him for years, despite being "too old" for stories, and clung to his robes while falling asleep in his arms.

A family.

#regulus black #james potter #marauders era #lily evans #jegulus #harry potter #harry james potter #james x regulus #sirius black #Remus lupin #harry and regulus #regulus and harry #regulus being a dad #so cute #theres some angst #theres some fluff #tw child abuse #child abuse tw

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ourloveisforthelovely · 2 years

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Healing the Heart (Part 1)

Sirius Black x Reader

Request: I want to request a Sirius x Reader story where James and Lily are totally out of character. Lily convinces James to stop talking to his sister (the reader), Sirius, and all of their friends. After a few years, James starts to realize the error of his ways and wants to repair things with his sister as he is a father to Harry now and wants his son to have ties to his family. The reader and Sirius are really skeptical about trusting James again and whatever good drama you can come up with.

Pairings: Sirius Black x Reader. Former Regulus Black x Reader

Rating: Mature.

_______

5 Years….5 long fucking years that made James Potter want to pull his own hair out. James stood outside of the address that was scribbled on a little piece of paper. He had been standing outside of a quaint-looking little rowhouse for half an hour. Why? James wasn’t for sure. He concluded it was due to the nerves of facing you. Facing a little sister who he had essentially turned his back on to please an ex-wife that was no longer in the picture was a more scary thought than James originally thought.

Again, 5 years. The realization that James hadn’t spoken to you in 6 years due to wanting to please Lily was like a kick in the balls. Now that James had done some growing up, he regretted trying to please someone who couldn’t be pleased. You had begged him not to turn his back on you but James didn’t listen. When Lily said that she didn’t like you or the family that resulted in James making the most childish decision of his lifetime.

Now here stood James with divorce papers in his back pocket. He dreaded facing Regulus. Something told him that your boyfriend would try to kill him in his sleep. Maybe if James was lucky, Regulus would spare him some kind of mercy.

“Daddy, it's cold. We’ve been standing out here a long time.”

Harry’s voice pulled James from his thoughts. James gave his son a nod before walking up to the front door and knocking. A few silent moments passed before the front door opened. James' worried expression turned to confusion when Sirius appeared in front of him. His once best friend looked equally surprised to see him in return.

“James.”

Sirius said, in a strangely formal tone. He sounded forced and almost as if he was restraining himself Sirius was yet another person that Lily took her wrath on. He was too immature and childish therefore, he was not worthy of James’ time.

“Sirius, I, uh...it's good to see you.”

Sirius blinked a few times. He would love to say that he was “thrilled” to see James. Sirius wanted to tell James how much he had fucking missed him but he couldn’t. He was not about to put himself back out there again to only be hurt once more. Sirius had been hurt too many times in his life and he wasn’t looking for another kick in the balls.

“Uh-huh. What are you doing here? Won’t Lily be unhappy to see you associating with the likes of me?”

James looked down. He deserved that. James could still see the expression on Sirius’ face when James told him that Lily didn’t want him associating with Sirius anymore.

“So does she keep your balls in a jar?”

Sirius’ words of confusion still echoed in James’ mind...along with his disbelief that James would let some girl come between them. Now, once again, James regretted it all.

“I was wanting to see Y/n or Regulus...I need to talk to them.”

Sirius raised an eyebrow.

“Y/n is at the market. If you want to talk to Regulus you are going to need a medium or a Ouija board.”

“What?”

James muttered. Sirius raised an eyebrow.

“He’s dead.”

James’ mouth dropped. The last that he had heard of Regulus, the two of you were planning on getting married.

“What? How? Oh, Merlin. Y/n!”

Sirius crossed his arms over his chest.

“What do you care about Y/n for? You haven’t spoken to her in 5 years. You didn’t invite her to your wedding or let her know that you were having a kid. Why does she suddenly matter to you now?”

James stammered a moment as Sirius’ attention turned to the little boy at James’ side. Sirius’ heart instantly ached to look at who had to be Harry. This was the boy that was supposed to be his godson but Sirius was robbed of that too...just like he was robbed of his best friend.

“Lily and I are divorced. She didn’t want to be with us anymore. Look, I know that I fucked up...big time. I was wrong to both of you. I never should have let some girl change me but...I did.”

Sirius’ cold expression faded somewhat. It was mostly for Harry’s benefit, not James. Sirius felt awful when he saw what looked like fear on the little boy’s face. He felt awful for him and he didn’t know anything about the child. Here stood a poor little boy whose mum had left him. Now he stood listening to some big guy yell at his father. Sirius would have been scared himself at that age.

“Yeah, you shouldn't have. What you did was really low...beyond low. You are not the person that I thought you were James Potter. I swore I would never forgive you for what you put Y/n through...she has been through so much over the past few years and you don’t know….you don't know the half of it.”

James looked down at his feet. Things seemed worse than he expected. His little sister was a widow. James could only imagine how devastated you were. You had loved Regulus so much...now he was gone.

“Sirius….”

“Just come in before you let all of the flies in and your kid looks cold.”

Sirius grumbled before turning and walking into the kitchen. James hesitated a moment before walking into the well-decorated home. This house screamed, “Y/n Black lives here.” The house was decorated with lots of little homey touches that reminded James of your mother.

“So do you check in on Y/n from time to time or something?”

James asked. Sirius looked over his shoulder and raised an eyebrow.

“You don't know do you?”

“Know what?”

James questioned focusing his attention on Sirius. His best friend had changed so much over the past 5 years and it, once again, made James’ heartache. Sirius had cut his long hair and kept it perfectly pushed back and grown a beard. He was a lot more “rugged” looking than James had remembered. Yet some things remained the same. Sirius had the same dark eyes that could stare a hole through someone that he was displeased with.

“I married Y/n two and a half years ago.”

Sirius had to fight the smirk that threatened to take over his face when James’ mouth dropped. James stood totally baffled for a few moments before regaining the ability to speak.

“You married Y/n?”

Sirius nodded.

“It's a real kick in the head, isn’t it? Anyway, I married her not long after Regulus died. Here’s another bit of information for you, you have a niece. Her name is Renee.”

“A niece?”

James questioned. Sirius nodded before going to the fireplace and grabbing the photo of Renee that sat in a golden frame. He quickly handed the picture to James who looked down at the picture with wide eyes. Looking at the little girl was a real punch in the gut to James. The little girl was one of the sweetest things that James had ever seen. She looked so much like you as a child with a mixture of the Black family features. Her dark eyes and curly dark hair definitely came from the Blacks.

“She’s Regulus’. I couldn’t let Y/n be a single mother. You of all people know how much I have always loved her. I was not about to let people talk.”

James looked up again, stunned. Sirius had stepped up to the plate when he damn well didn’t have to.

“I suppose I am not so childish anymore.”

Sirius commented before turning his attention back to Harry. He gave the little boy a smile.

“Hey, buddy, why don’t you go on in the room over there? There are some toys you can play with and the remote is on the table. I’m guessing you know how to work one of those.”

Harry smiled.

‘I’m 5. The telly is my life.”

Sirius smirked.

“Well, have at it then.”

James waited until Harry was out of the room before speaking again.

“Sirius, I'm sorry….about everything. You were right about it all. I let Lily change me and I was a royal prat to you and Y/n. I owe you so many thank yous. You’ve looked after Y/n and my niece when you didn’t have to….”

Sirius held a hand up.

“I didn’t do it for you. I did it because I love my wife and daughter. I also did it because my brother deserved better. That is why I did it. I’m going to say this and you can do what you want with it. You devastated Y/n. You turned your back on your own fucking sister to please some girl that never paid you any bit of attention. Y/n deserved better than that. You’re lucky Regulus isn’t alive because if he was...you probably wouldn’t be standing right now.”

Sirius turned his back to James and went to the refrigerator to look for a bottle of water. That would be a lot better than the booze that Siriu wanted to drown. Once again, he was dealing with feelings that he had put away in a secret safe place that he didn’t open often. In the course of a few years, Sirius had lost his best friend, baby brother, and adoptive parents. That was a lot of fucking loss for someone who had lost so much already.

“Sirius, I totally understand why you hate me. I get that. I would be furious if I were you too but I want to fix things….”

Sirius quickly opened a cabinet and pulled out a glass plate. He turned back to James with a frown on his face.

“So, you think saying sorry fixes everything do you?”

Sirius dropped the plate on the floor. The moment the piece of china hit the floor glass shards went everywhere. James stepped back looking a bit baffled before meeting Sirius’ gaze. Had this been a few years ago, James might have joked about Sirius needing to turn his “Walburga” off. If he tried that now, James would probably get his face knocked in.

“Sorry, plate, I dropped you and broke you all over the place.”

Sirius commented, not taking his eyes off James.

“Sorry doesn’t fix everything James. That is a prime example.”

James looked at the broken shards of glass with sad eyes. He knew exactly what Sirius was saying. Sorry wasn’t going to fix everything and James knew it. It would probably take him a lot of damn work before his best friend ever trusted him again.

“Sirius, you don’t have to trust me right away...I just want to work on fixing everything…”

Sirius opened his bottle of water before going to the table and sitting down. He gave James a frown and muttered “good luck to you” under his breath. The two sat in uncomfortable silence for a few moments. James stood awkwardly waiting for Sirius to continue raging at him and he really didn’t blame his best friend. Sirius had every right to be pissed at him. Best friends didn’t treat friends as James had.

James’ attention went to your wedding picture that hung on the wall. He stepped closer and looked at the photo feeling sadness. You looked beautiful in a white dress wrapped in Sirius’ arms. James couldn’t help but notice how there was a slight curve in your stomach. You were pregnant but not far along enough to raise eyebrows.

“She wanted you to be there.”

Sirius’ voice broke James' concentration on the photo. He turned back to his best friend who had stood up to look at the picture too.

“She wanted to invite you but we both knew you wouldn’t come so we didn’t bother. I wasn’t the man that she wanted to marry but we’re happy now. She loves me and I adore her so I’m telling you this right now...if you plan on hurting her as you did I would suggest leaving or I will rearrange your face.” James knew Sirius wasn’t joking. Sirius could really hurt someone if he wanted to and James was not about to test that knowledge.

“I don’t want to hurt her or you. This war...it's taking so much out on all of us. None of us are who we were before…”

Before Sirius could reply the front door opened and closed. The sound of a toddler shrieking “dada” filled the room. Sirius quickly turned to James with a dark expression on his face. James couldn’t help but wonder if he would ever get his best friend back.

“Now is your chance to leave out the back door or be ready to face your sister. I don’t have your back this time.”

To be continued….

____

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embrassemoi · 3 years

Text

Surrounded by the Moon and Stars ✷ 20

Pairings: Sirius B, Remus L, [F]Reader Content: Language, possible errors A/N: Some ppl asked for a playlist... so ofc I made one!

Series Playlist or Chap 20 Playlist

【 Masterlist: Previous Chapter | Next Chapter 】

Chapter 20: Little Lion Man

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When Regulus was younger, his aunt Andromeda and Sirius were obsessed with Muggle stories. Andromeda would send them loads of books every month to the local Muggle post office to prevent their parents from confiscating them. He remembers the ten minute walks there and back, Sirius holding his hand tight, even stopping to buy ice cream during the warmer seasons. They would greet the delivery men and women, picking up a heavy stack of wrapped books before waddling out, each boy mirroring a large grin.

Every night at twilight, when their parents were asleep, Sirius would crawl into his bed and read to Regulus in a hushed voice. He would read a different story every night, lulling him to sleep. Sirius spent hours gushing about the fantastical tales Muggles wrote; how magical and mystical their minds were despite not having an ounce of magical blood. From Superman to Batman, the Joker to Daleks, Prince Caspian to King Miraz; Regulus quickly learned that they all had one common theme: the good guys and the bad guys.

Regulus often spent his time grappling with the notion; what made someone good? Because the definition changes depending on the person.

Were the good guys good because they were selfless — passionate? Those deemed good never let themselves be seen as selfish. The heroes would sacrifice themselves for the greater good, even going as far as giving up their loved ones. Or maybe it was because they went against the odds. But villains did that too.

So he re-worded the question; what made someone bad? Was it their selfishness or greed? Was it putting themselves above others? Did they know they were on the wrong side of history? Make a mistake, once, twice — but surely, that didn’t make someone bad. Did it?

If virtue is understood by both sides, then the bad guys would immediately cross that line time and time again. They lacked wisdom and truthfulness, filled with too much pride and vanity.

But now as he began to grow up far too quickly for a fourteen-year-old boy, he realized that there was more to people than just being good or evil, a saviour or tormentor, light versus darkness.

The definition of good and bad depended on who told the story and Regulus didn’t know who controlled his; him or his parents. The line was so blurred that he couldn’t objectively make the decision himself anymore. Was he more bad than good?

Laughter — rich and inviting beckoned throughout the library, snapping him out of his thoughts again; but it did nothing but chip away at his heart. Regulus got up, shoving his books and parchment into his bag, making sure to hide his face before they saw him. Today, the Marauders had come earlier than expected and he was caught off guard. He’d been doing everything to avoid them out of pure shame.

Before he went to turn, he eyed Sirius from the shadows. He smiled, carefree and happy, clinging onto Pettigrew, ruffling his hair like he once did to him.

What made them so special, so loved and cherished by Sirius? How were they able to make him laugh so effortlessly, able to brighten his day with a mere glance? What made them more of a family than he ever was to him?

But he knew, it was their family’s values and it had been taunting him every waking moment.

It’s not like he didn’t want to escape that night, but he wasn’t Sirius. He was never as bright or strong or as good as him. Sirius was bold and courageous and certainly had more bravery than he would ever have. Regulus was far too weak, a puppet for his parents to control. Sirius was everything Regulus was too afraid to be — a reminder of what he could have turned into.

Besides, there wasn’t a single doubt in his mind that his parents would have killed Kreacher had he left. And this way with Sirius gone, it left Regulus to be the sole heir. Sirius was free, not being hunted down by his parents now that he bore the title. That was his gift to him, freeing Sirius of all the responsibilities, pain and grief. He owed him that much. Besides, Regulus had already mourned the childhood he never had; that made everything easier.

The day Sirius left was the day before they were set to leave for Hogwarts again and the impact of his absence was massive. He no longer heard the thumping of loud Muggle music nor the clanking of piano keys or doors slamming shut. There wasn’t any screaming aside from his parents shrieking at him for taking his father's wand. The stairs creaked; he could even hear Kreacher padding his way to his room.

It was eerily quiet and lifeless in that damned house, and he was only gone for a day.

Regulus hadn’t been taking it well. Nearly every night, his face was pressed into a pillow muffling his sobs. Sirius had kept his promise, he hadn’t talked to him since.

If only he had a scarlet tie…

Ha! He could laugh; he’d been trying to get his attention in little ways. He’d even gone as far as growing out his hair to match his — coping by writing letters every night with words he wished he could’ve said before storing them in a box under his bed. Forever unsent. Hell, Regulus was a coward, every bit as pathetic as Sirius deemed.

Ever the winter break, his parents were relentless, dumping everything that was meant for Sirius onto him. Letters were sent daily; there were talks about an arranged marriage, lumps of money now being transferred under his name, getting the dark mark… and he was being watched. Every interaction he had, his parents always knew. Especially with Muggleborns; he had to limit his interactions with them to almost nothing, or it wouldn’t end well for either.

His mind reeled back to that night, where his parents and extended family toyed with that blonde Muggle, leaving her half-dead on the dining table, the image branded in his head. It made him sick just thinking about it, he never knew what happened to her, he was too busy trying to muffle out her screams.

Regulus had been questioning everything he was taught. Sirius’ words echoed in his head; was he willing to kill Muggleborns solely because of their blood status? He's a believer in old values and traditions: yes, blood should be kept pure, but to kill Muggles… that was completely different. He’d seen how his dearly beloved aunt was burned off the tapestry, threatened and almost killed for marrying a Muggleborn — a Muggleborn who he’s met and liked and respected. His family tortured them for the sake of it and more. That wasn’t the move of someone good, those were the actions of someone evil; filled with greed, spite and selfishness. But how was he going to stop a whole bloodline from their mania?

Some may call it obedience, the way he’s listened to his parents all these years blindly, but to him, it’s respect. But did he believe that? Did they deserve to be respected? He was miserable and this wasn’t a healthy way to show filial piety.

What did he believe in?

Perhaps there wasn’t such a thing, good or evil, maybe there was only power.

Regulus was lost and confused and most of all, lonely. He remembered Sirius promised him once, before the day he was set to leave for Hogwarts for the first time, that he would never be alone. What a funny thing, promises.

Tears were forming fast and if he didn’t leave then, they would fall any second now. He needed to get out of the library.

Regulus asked himself again; what made someone good or bad — or rather, was he good or bad? He’s veering towards bad.

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After catching word from Mary that Remus’ birthday was approaching, Y/N had been knitting him a sweater in her spare time (or trying to). It was sweet, simple and showed that she’d put effort into it, especially since he taught her. Although, the sweater was lopsided and she hadn’t quite gotten the hang of a certain stitch or how to close sections. Perhaps she should use magic.

Her fingers fiddled with the needle, looping the yarn over the other side. Without looking up, she made a sharp turn into the library before crashing into a hunched-over figure; sniffling and a complete mess.

An apology dangled from her lips before recognizing the figure as Regulus. It had been two months since she’d last seen him and in short, he looked like shit. His skin was grey and lost all sense of a youthful dewy glow. If Sirius had dark eye circles or Remus looked tired, Regulus beat them by miles.

Y/N stood there awkwardly, unsure of what to do before gently patting his shoulder. “Regulus?” She asked softly, nothing more than a whisper.

There was a flash of pure terror as he looked up, his eyes nervous as his head spun around to look around the place like he always did. He looked mad, almost unhinged as his hands gently pushed her away, signalling for her to leave. “I — I can’t be seen around you.”

“Can’t? What are you going on abo —” She cut herself off, ignoring the matter entirely. He clearly wasn’t in the right mindset.

His voice was strained, quiet as he kept on murmuring, he almost sounded angry. “You can’t — we’ll both get in trouble. Y/N, go — please… ”

At this, Y/N felt her skin rise in small goosebumps. She looked back to the library, just making out her friend’s figures before looking down at Regulus again. She wasn’t going to leave him like this: crying and delusional.

She took a deep inhale before bending down, picking up her needles and yarn off the ground and slipped them into her bag. She placed a cautious arm around Regulus to keep him upright. “Come with me.” But Regulus wouldn’t budge, not until she flicked down her hood, obscuring her face.

She led him up to the astronomy tower, walking and twisting around before setting him down on a nearby bench, making sure to lock any entrances. They sat in silence, aside from Regulus attempting to regulate his breathing. The cold whipping wind tossed his hair and sank into her bones. With a few charms, they were both warm again, but still able to breathe in the crisp air.

He remained quiet. Y/N didn’t push. Instead, she began babbling softly about random things to distract him. When she heard a sharp exhale of air, mimicking a half-hearted chuckle was when she knew he had calmed down.

“Thank you,” he muttered. It’s quiet, barely above a whisper. Regulus’ cheeks were pink, colour finally returning to him from either embarrassment or the cold.

“Any time,” she smiled warmly. Her hand reaches into her bag, fishing out the snacks that were meant for the study group: blackberries that were for Remus, a muffin for Marlene, were now shared between them. She tried to encourage him to eat, to regain any sort of energy.

He listened without complaint, a tense yet thankful air engulfed them. It was only until he finished the food, about an hour gone by, was when he spoke again. “Why are you being so nice to me.” It’s not even a question, just an odd accusation.

She thinks for a while, searching for the best answer. “I wished someone was there for me when I was going through a hard time.”

“But you don’t know me.”

Her eyebrows raised, “Well, let’s get to know each other then. I’ll tell you something about myself and then you can go?”

Regulus looked up at her with a calculated expression, cautious and looked uncomfortable but he nodded.

“Let’s start simple. I have an owl named Celeste.”

He gulped, looking back to the entrance. His answer came delayed, strained and she wondered if she had pushed him too far. “I play the violin.”

Y/N smiled largely. “The violin is beautiful! Hmm… I can’t ride a broomstick to save my life, unlike you.”

At this, he smiles — a real genuine smile that causes his eyes to crinkle and sparkle. “Really?” His eyes burned with curiosity before he looked down, “I can’t swim.”

“Swim?” She repeats, chuckling to herself, “Who doesn’t know how to swim?”

“You’re making me feel grand. Terribly uncalled for.”

Her eyes rolled, “You should learn. It can save your life one day. Who wants to drown?”

“Maybe I’ll ask McGonagall — I heard for tougher punishments she’ll throw you into the black lake.”

“You’re the perfect candidate then.”

After a while, way past curfew, Regulus seemed cheerier; his tear-stained cheeks now replaced with a smile and relaxation. That day, Y/N unaware, was a day Regulus would never forget.

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March 8th, 1976

“Sirius, shut up.”

“You’re the one yelling!”

“... Right.”

Excused from their afternoon classes because their Puffskein was about to hatch, the Marauder’s dorm was bustling with panic and bickering. When Y/N partnered with Sirius for their project, she expected fighting (which happened every day) but not for Sirius to be like this. He’d been running around the dorm, grabbing warm towels, bowls of water and taking out his panic on her. He gripped his textbook, flicking through notes to see if they had everything. It was as if he was preparing for the birth of an actual baby.

She silently watched him, her mind thinking about Regulus rather than their project. This was the only time she and Sirius were alone and wondered if she should mention his freakout the other day but stopped — it didn’t take a genius to know they weren’t on friendly terms.

Since that night, she’d seen Regulus almost daily, but only at night before their study group. She would spend an hour or so with him before the Marauder or girls came barraging in; Regulus left before they appeared. The entire situation left her deeply confused, worried and most of all, suspicious.

“We need Kettleburn —”

Annoyance began nipping at her. “Calm down.”

“I’m not going to calm down!”

Sirius paced, both firing snide jabs. Too preoccupied in his panicked state, he didn’t hear the quiet cracking of the white shell, forming the shape of a lightning bolt before cascading over.

“Um, Black?”

“Let’s not start. How are you so —”

“Get your ass over here now!”

Sirius pressed his lips together immediately and rushed over, both huddled side by side near the roaring fireplace. The shell twitched, cracking more and they both gasped in amazement. The process was faster than either expected as they saw the small tuft of cream fur peek out along with a pair of black eyes. Its long pink tongue slipped out, already looking for its first meal. Y/N scrambled to grab a nearby dish of dried spiders to feed it while Sirius cradled it in his hand. His smile was wide, buzzing with excitement as he observed it. His hands gently glided over the soft fur as it emitted a low humming sound.

A deep chuckle erupts from Sirius and she could feel the vibrations from how close they were. His laugh, which once made her cringe, now made her skin feel fuzzy and heart flutter. But, it wasn’t like that, she thinks. Of course not! She still wants to jinx him, maybe even throw him into the fireplace. Yes, that’s it.

She snaps out of her violent thoughts when she finds Sirius already looking at her, a pretty flush to his skin as he observes her softly. Her brows crinkled; instead of a frown or on the cusp on an insult, he smiles.

“Do you want to hold it?” Y/N nods eagerly. Sirius shifts his body, placing the Puffskein in the palms of her hands. It’s incredibly soft, adorable and when it leans into her, falling asleep, she swore she fell in love.

“What do you want to name it?” She mumbled, afraid that if she were any louder it might wake it up. Sirius takes a long time to ponder and Y/N braces herself for an insult, already thinking of a plethora of her own.

“It looks like porridge… Oatmeal!”

“Are you serious?”

“I’d be worried if I wasn’t.”

Y/N tries to suppress her smile but fails. The Puffskein did look like a grain of oatmeal. Plain and simple, she liked it.

“Hello, Oats! You’re so cute — I could just eat you up!”

“Morbid much.”

Hours went by before they ultimately decided to head down to Kettleburn’s office for an examination of Oats’ health. Sirius cradled it in a small blanket, shielding it from the rest of the world. Marlene and Dorcas were standing by the sidelines, joining them as they walked past.

“Yours hatched already? Aw, it looks so cute!” Dorcas squealed. Her hands reached out, giddy as Sirius gently placed it into her arms but not without fretting. Marlene only looked down at her with a soft gaze, her face becoming pink as she wrapped an arm around her.

“Give it a rest. She’s not going to drop it.”

“Now you, McKinnon?! I’m a father now! Our kid deserves the best care! Right, L/N?”

It catches her off guard. Sirius trying to include her in a conversation? That’s a new milestone. “Of course; the proudest parents.”

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Once done with Kettleburn, Sirius went to bring Oats back to his dorm, parting as Y/N went to find Lily who took her notes for her afternoon classes.

Out in the courtyard, walking around in the snow, both Lily and Snape wandered around before she picked up a snowball, throwing it at him. Snape sent her a deadpanned look as Lily kept hurling snowballs. Most missed him, others hit him before he retaliated and threw some back.

Y/N halted, watching the scene play out and debated whether or not to approach them. But decided to, shouting while striding up to them.

“Petals!”

Lily’s smile grew before her head whipped to her. She stopped her snowball fight, getting up to bounce her way over to her. Snape followed in suit, but as Lily began to babble on and on about what she missed, Snape’s eyes bore into her, vice versa.

“I’ll see you later, Sevy! We need to go,” said Lily, already turning to walk away. Y/N lingered back a pause, just enough to see Snape draw his wand and shoot a spell at her. She had just enough time to block it. Whatever spell it was, it sparkled like a firecracker. If Snape could easily send a hex or jinx her way inboard daylight with Lily just a little ahead, what was he willing to do had they been alone.

His angel persona around her was dropping quickly.

“Whiskers!” Shouted Lily. Her arms raised in question. “Get over here!”

A flurry of thoughts bombarded her before she could process them. She was about to cause a scene, yell and scream until that nasty sneer fell off his face until she felt a tug on her arm. Lily hooked her arm around Y/N, pulling her away. But she still had her wand drawn, ready to block another spell. She tossed one last look at him; he smiled wickedly.

“Are you okay?”

She had enough tip-toeing around Snape. She remained tranquil, gave him the benefit of the doubt and respected their friendship but that was enough.

“No, I’m not actually,” keeping her tone as soft as possible, trying not to sound defensive, “Why do you waste your time around him?”

Lily paused, her eyes going wide. An offended expression crossed her face as she took a moment to digest the remark. “Sev? What are you getting at?” Her tone was guarded which had Y/N debating whether or not to drop the conversation entirely. A fight with Lily was not on her to-do list.

“I just think you should be careful around him.”

“I can look out for myself,” she grumbled, “Severus has been there for me for years. I know how to separate myself from the wrong sorts.”

“I’m only saying this to look out for —”

“I know, but he isn’t like what you’re thinking.” Lily didn’t look mad, just tired as she nodded sharply. Taking a stack of parchment from her bag, Lily handed it to her and walked faster. “You’re around Potter too much. He isn’t like what he says he is.”

Y/N felt annoyance blossom in her chest at the accusation of James but bit her tongue to avoid more conflict. Right now, they trod on dangerous waters.

Neither spoke to each other for the rest of the day.

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