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xenocorner · 1 month

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(If you're someone who enjoys my work, and also happens to like/support AI generated images, please give this a read? Just hear me out, please. This is not a bashing post, I promise. It's not pro-ai either though. But please hear me out)

This whole AI art stuff is just getting... Honestly exhausting. If you are someone who supports AI generated images, I beg of you, hear me out? I'm not here to bash, to say you're a bad person or a thief. I know it's more complex than that. I'm just, trying to express how I feel about this whole ordeal. I'm not here to get angry either. I don't have the energy for that. I'm also not trying to change your mind. Just, hopefully help you see/feel a different perspective? That's all.

Long rant under the cut because. There's a lot.

I'm not even angry anymore. I don't have the energy for that. But I keep seeing AI images all over, everywhere. The thing is getting better (because of course it is). And I see more and more people support it. And sometimes those people are also artists or people who like art and support artists.

And then I also see artists be laid off. I see how it gets harder and harder to make a break in the industry. And even after you make it you get laid off because... People don't wanna bother with it anymore. Corps would rather cut costs.

And then I see people defend AI images. Say it's okay, that it isn't stealing from artists, that it is just a tool, ignoring a huge part of the problem (whether willfully or not).

And it just makes me so incredibly sad. So utterly devastated.

I was angry. I really used to be angry. I'm just hurt now. Hopeless for the future. And tired. Really really damn tired.

Tired of artists having to justify their existance in the professional world. Tired of people just saying... No.

No, you don't get to thrive. And you're selfish and entitled for wanting to thrive. No, you don't get to feel hurt when your work gets scrapped without your permission to feed a data base designed to replace you. No, you don't get a say in this. Don't like? Bohoo, don't see.

Well, how can I not see when this issue directly affects how I live? How can I not see when this issue affects my future? It's not just a matter of "Don't like x kind of content, don't interact with it". It really is not. I really wish it was, I wish it was that simple. But it's not. Because this is not something like a ship or a trope that one can ignore and not be affected. This is like trying to ignore a dumpster fire in your neighborhood. Yeah, you can avoid looking at it. You can avoid talking about it. But the smoke is still getting into your house. You're still breathing it. It's still hurting you. It will have effects on your life, whether you like it or not.

I threw away 12 years of my life building up my skill to work in a field that feels like it's dying out. Am I (and countless other artists) just supposed to start over? How? Time is unforgiving.

Bohoo for your bad choices, suck it up. Your fault for pursuing art as a career.

Was I supposed to just, KNOW, somehow, that the career I choose, that used to be viable, would just... Take this turn? Was I supposed to have a 10 year look into the the future?

You should create for the joy of creating!

I do. I love creating. I love making people happy with my work. Work I spent years perfecting. It's the most beautiful feeling in the world to know that someone smiled or cried or felt something because of something I did. It makes me smile and cry too.

But I also like to be able to eat. To have a roof. To pay for my meds. And the joy of creating honestly dwindles each time I see people talk about AI images the same way they talk about a painting in the Louvure.

Becaus they do. I've seen people talk about images generated by a machine (built upon stealing artwork from unconsenting artists) like they're the work of God. And they write such beautiful things too. And I'm left baffled, confused, uneasy.

And then I go to see artists, living, breathing, feeling artists, who create marvelous pieces, who pour their heart into their work, who shed sweat blood and tears to get their skills to where they are, who are still shedding sweat blood and tears to keep improving... And they don't even get a 'nice'. They've been job searching for 3 years. They can't get a steady flow of commissions. They're scrambling to be able to get a table at a con.

And it hurts to my very core.

It hurts in a place I don't even know how to describe, because it's so deep and so personal and so raw that I don't think there's a name for it.

I love art. I love it so damn much. I love making it, I love sharing it, I love teaching it.

I think many other people love art too. I think many other people who love art don't even consciously realize they do.

And it hurts seeing art just... Become this.

It hurts seeing the artistic souls of this earth be pushed down and down again and again over and over and be told to just. To just suck it up.

To die off.

Because when people support AI images, they are telling us to die off. It feels like they are telling us to die off.

And I don't think the people who do realize it at all, because a lot of people who support AI images are not bad people. They are not. They enjoy art too. But they are, consiously or not, directly or indirectly, hurting the artists whose work made the data base AI generators use possible.

They're telling us to die off because they already have our work. And they can use it to generate new, regurgitated work faster, cheaper. They don't need us. So while they may like what us, artists, do, they're feeding a system that is killing us off. Both metaphorically and literally. Metaphorically by killing the will to create. Literally by taking our living off of us (or at least to those who's art is their living. Like myself).

And again.

It hurts so damn much.

And I don't think a lot of people manage to see the hurt past all the anger.

I, personally, have grown exhausted and there's no anger left in me, only sad and hurt.

But I promise you, behind every angry and fighting and barking and bitting artists there is out there, there's hurt. There's some form of hurt behind each and every one of them. Of us.

I really hope this reaches the right people. Whether that be a fellow artists struggling to get their feelings into words to let them know they're not alone. Or someone who supports AI images, and supports artists too, and can maybe get a glimpse into a side of this whole issue. Not necessarily to change their mind but, maybe help them understand better where all the anger from artists may be coming from.

Please, I'm not here to start any fights or debates. I really am not. I just need to get this sort of thing out there, because I think talking about it is important.

#Rambles #I know I have some followers that like my work that also like AI #I still love you #I know you don't try to do harm and are just here to vibe about the same blorbos #I know you like art in general #But I'd wish you could hear me out on this #Even if it doesn't change your perception

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madebyrolo · 3 months

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𝘐 𝘴𝘮𝘰𝘬𝘦𝘥 𝘢𝘸𝘢𝘺 𝘮𝘺 𝘣𝘳𝘢𝘪𝘯 ࿔

𝘫𝘫 𝘹 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘦𝘳

𝘴𝘩𝘦/𝘩𝘦𝘳

𝘚𝘮𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘣𝘭𝘶𝘳𝘣 𝘢𝘣𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘴𝘮𝘰𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘱𝘰𝘶𝘨𝘦𝘴.

𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘱𝘳𝘰𝘰𝘧 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥, 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘦𝘥𝘪𝘵𝘦𝘥

⋆༺𓆩☠︎︎𓆪༻⋆

They were sitting on a blanket on the beach, the suns amber color slowly faded away creating the most beautiful sunset. The smell of the saltwater and jjs musky cologne filled the air. The sound of waves crashing and y/ma phone connected to their speaker playing their shared playlist. On the blanket, their legs tangled up on eachother. Y/n sat her with back on jj chest, hes sitting with his arms holding them up.

He moves one hand he reaches in his pant pocket and grabs a small mint box containing 2 pre-rolled joints and a blank lighter. Smiling to himself, jj takes out one, holding it between his lips and flicks his lighter firing up the end. He takes a big puff letting it the back of his throat. The feeling was too familiar to him, he’s second favorite feeling other than having you undone with just his simple touch.

Y/n smelling the cannabis gets up from his chest. She looks a the boy staring at him. Drugs weren’t her favorite thing he did but seeing him all relaxed, red eyes, face always plastered with a smirk from all the ecstasy. She knew it was wrong but she loved how he looked under the influence. He was hot. She took in every feature of the boys face acting like she doesn’t see him everyday. Jj turned to her feeling her daggers. Slowing turning his head meeting her gaze. When high it feels like his sense are heighten, he looked into her eyes also acting like he’s never seen her before. He feels like he’s fallen in love with all over again. The Weeknd playing in the background they just take in each other prender with the fiery tension.

Jj offers her a hit, she doesn’t really smoke as much as him but when she does she completely enters a state of euphoria, feeling ones as jj and completely loving it. She grabs the joint from his hands, and taking it between his lips. Her vanilla gloss got on the paper leaving a little print, jj 100% gonna keep the left over wrap.

She takes a deep breath in, the smoke tingling the back of her throat. the takes the 2nd hit for her to start feeling the effects, unlike jj it takes him 5 or more like the stoner he is. “Is this sativa?” she asked “you know it” jj replied taking the joint from her hands. Jj takes his hit keying the smoke longer in his mouth before grabbing y/n face and pulling her in for a kiss. As their lips part he exhales the smoke into her mouth, shotgunning it. They pull apart just staring at eachother in awe. Jj loved when y/n smoke with him, it’s a two in one for him.

Y/n feeling the strong effects she lays down on the blanket staring at sky. The sun was barely setting, the dark blue/purple ombré effect that was in the sky, the moon peaking up. She takes a deep breath and closes her eyes. In her head she sees waves of pink colors, little small white flashes, almost like a volocity edit of pink and small shapes. The Tyler song “a boy is a gun” filling her ears making her bop her head and hum along. Shes in her own little world while Jjs in another.

He’s sitting in the same position, he doesn’t have the same extremely vivid allusion as y/n since he’s kinda paste that “rookie” phase. He just feels more at clam, relaxed, less angry at the world. He has those times where he can escape and see random visions but they’re with harder stuff that you have to get from a kook. He wouldn’t do it with or around y/n though. He wouldn’t want to bring her in that kinda of world so he sticks with his simple joints with y/n. He doesn’t hate it, although he would like something stronger right now but at least he can share this with you.

He let y/n take it in and enjoy the moments of bliss. Soon he drags her out of her visions and gets her off her beach floor and walk hand in hand to the water. He takes off his cargo pants leaving him in his boxers shirtless and slowly entering the water. Y/n taking her jean shorts off and shirtand soon joining him. Not caring they’re in their undergarments, theyre thankful they’re at a secret secluded area of the coast though.

As they’re almost fully emerged jj grabs her by the waist pulling her in for a kiss. Before it starts to turn into a very heated make out sesh y/n pulls away, putting her head under the water. She feels like she’s in jello, enjoying the weightless zone she’s in, at peace knowing there’s nothing sheJj keeping a good eye on her knowing she’s not at the most conscience state of mind. After a few seconds jj brings her back up helping her to remember to breath. Scared she’s gonna drown he brings them both back to shore.

Tangled up into eachother, and taking more hits they just lay together for the rest of the time. As the join finally finishes. As the moon takes place of the sun they decide to head to y/ns car and head back to John bs chateau. After a 10 minute commute they made it back with everyone in the backyard around the lighted fire pit. Jj sits on the only chair available pulling y/n onto his lap. He pulls out the same metal box and takes out the second joint. He lights up the roll and takes a hit, passing it along to John b beside him. They all sat talking together getting high as kytes. Y/n gets up heading to the car grabbing her speaker. She comes back letting Pope connect his phone, picking the song and playing “I smoked away my brain” by A$AP Rocky. They all sat telling small stories and soon Sarah ordering pizza.

The pouges didn’t really have the perfect built in family but at least they had eachother, and weed.

#outer banks #jj mayback x reader #jj maybank #jj mayback imagine #john b routledge #pope heyward #smoking #obx fanfiction #obx imagine #obx x reader

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bibbykins · 1 year

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Moonlight Reign Ch. 3

A/N: here's a continuation of the pain lol hopefully next update will come quicker and I hope you all enjoy! Be warned here and the series as a whole is pretty heavy emotionally, so heed all warnings and put yourself first! Also as usual shoutout to my lovely beta reader @rapline-heaux who read this forever ago lol ily

Series Masterlist

Pairing: Yandere! Mafia! BTS x Reader

Words: 5.0k

Warnings: crime, sensory flashbacks, trauma, unhealthy relationships, yandere behavior, pining, violence, past abuse, past neglect/academic neglect, talk of stitches, wound description, panic attack, acrylic nail slips on a keyboard but doesn't break, brief suicidal thought, lip biting until it bleeds, abandonment by male parental guardian, lots of crying

Silence threaded into the air, making it that much harder to breathe as Jungkook’s hands limply slid from you and back to his sides. The bubble of ignorance you shrouded each other in, now effectively popped as the world was de-muffled as your hands were now clasped in front of you. Tears welled in the back of your eyes, stinging more than usual, and no matter how much you blinked to keep them at bay they just came back. Nothing could shroud the horror that was your reality.

It’s funny, really, you remember learning about how to create a safe space for your patients in college. You learned how important it was for children to feel safe in development. You studied all the reasons safety was so vital to survival, and yet, you never once felt safe growing up. It was only in this moment you realized you had found your safe place.

It was only as you watched the weekly dinners, cramming sessions, and mutually intoxicated affection go up in smoke that you realized you had just lost it. Everything you never thought you could have was in flames, and one would think you would be used to the feeling of your life on fire by now, but your throat still burned with the agony of it all, no matter how familiar the taste was on your tongue.

Hurt flooded your eyes along with tears that Jungkook wanted nothing more than to gently brush away. But he knew shouldn’t, and now more than ever, he couldn’t. He didn’t know how you knew what it meant to be the head of Bangtan, and it was so hard for him to care as your fear and sorrow burnt a hole in his heart in the very space he kept the friendship you both shared. The gaping wound was only furthered by how much it took over his being. You both cared about each other much, much, more than you both let on to one another properly, and it’s only now he’s regretting that with his entire being.

Finally, he couldn’t bear to look at you anymore, not when he was part of the reason you were looking at him like that. He looked at the beaten faux hardwood of your apartment and could feel an ache when he noticed the scratch from when he helped rearrange your living room furniture. Truly, he’d give anything to go back to that day, or even to when he got here so he could turn off the TV and delay the inevitable.

He didn’t even get a chance to try and pretend there was no reason to be scared. He wanted so badly to pretend he was a sugar baby who has no idea who he was dating, but he just couldn’t. You both have lied to each other enough to last a lifetime, and he knew it was too late. What you both had has already slipped through his fingers before he even had a chance to try and catch it.

You exhaled a shaky breath, and he looked at you again. There was not even a semblance of hope on his face, and it made the part of you he revived die all over again, “...should probably go, huh?” Your voice was too mangled for Jungkook to hear the first part of what you said, but it certainly didn’t take a genius to figure it out.

Your form grew blurry as tears clouded his vision, preventing him from committing your feature to his memory properly before it was too late, “You’re right.” He settled solemnly.

Neither yours nor his tears were helped when you each noticed the other was crying. You wanted so badly to be angry at him for lying to you, but you weren’t nearly that much of a hypocrite. You both used the other as an escape from the ugliness of reality. Around Jungkook you were nothing but his friend and vice versa. It was a sweet escape, a nice vacation, but certainly nothing more than that, not anymore.

You had to figure out if you should disappear or if you could survive with simply moving out of the building. You had phone calls to old contacts to make, you had a million and one things to figure out, a million and one pieces to move and yet you threw your arms around the man in front of you.

Jungkook wasted no time in holding you to him with an intensity you’d never felt before. No one had ever wanted to keep you this badly, and you didn’t know what to do other than ball your fists around his shirt and silently cry into his shoulder. Your arms tightened around his neck as you counted down the mere minutes before he also figured out who you were. You knew he would leave you, replay each moment leading up to this, and figure out who you were talking to. You just didn’t know what he would do with that information. You didn’t even know for sure how much it meant to him, but it was so hard to focus when his body shook against yours with a silent sob that you echoed with ease. Maybe, just maybe, he'd be gracious enough to look the other way for just a little bit so you could touch the bedroom wall you both shared and pretend it wasn’t there tonight.

You don’t know how long you stayed wrapped up in each other’s arms, soaking in the finality of the embrace, bones heavy with melancholy. You only remembered the look you gave one another, filled to the brim with tears, longing, and an insincere hatred of everything beyond the four walls of your apartment. Slowly, you leaned up and pressed a quivering kiss to his cheek.

A harsh breath left Jungkook and you could feel his tears on your lips when you pulled away, “Close your eyes.” He pleaded, voice barely above a whisper, “I don’t want you to see me leave you.” The plea for him to not leave was on the tip of your tongue, but you choked it down with another cry.

You nodded, and he granted you one last smile before you let your wet lashes touch each other. Your world was shrouded in darkness and part of you knew it would remain this way long after you opened them to an empty apartment. Still, you squeezed your eyes shut, not too keen on seeing Jungkook leave you either. You swallowed back a cry when he pressed a gentle kiss to the corner of your lips as you counted the steps he took to your door. Your body quaked when you could feel him giving you one final look. Your lips struggled to give him one more smile, and then the door closed.

Your knees hit the floor with no one there to catch you anymore. The shock waves slid up your thigh as you cried into your hands, wondering how many people were going to leave you before you stopped letting them in.

—

“Let go of me, please,” It was the first time you had heard your father say please, and it was one of the last things you would hear him say. Byungyeol looked at you, eyes filled with a mix of pity and sorrow that you couldn’t decipher if it was for you or the empire that lay in ashes. Regardless, it was an order and you weren’t raised to disobey, so you finally relented and released his torso from your arms with a trembling lip and a river that flowed freely from your eyes. The last time you cried in front of him like this had been when your age was in the single digits, but he didn’t patronize you this time– he no longer had any reason to.

“I can’t… You can’t… Please, stay with me.” You begged, very becoming of the heir to nothing as you clung to the last person who could prove you were even alive before today, “I’m so scared of being alone-” You sobbed into your hands as you both sat in a car outside of a restaurant owned by a family friend. You had nothing but a backpack with cash and two days worth of clothing, but your biggest fear was leaving this car.

“Daughter.” His voice commanded, and you straightened up. You looked at him, eyes bleary and wide, still a puppet waiting for orders. He regarded you with a sharp glare, “We do not show fear.” His tone was finite, it alway was. He always spoke in simple commands, because even now, he didn’t expect you to say anything in response.

However, you sniffled, “I am scared.” You admitted, the closest you’d gotten to defiance in over a decade, “I can’t do this alone.”

“And yet, you will.” His voice was the same amount of cold it had always been, but it burned you nonetheless, “You must.” Something in his voice tapered off that made you look at him a little closer. He looked so… old. You could see the years in his eyes and in the deep rivets that framed his frown, and it made something in your chest twist.

“Should’ve left me with them, huh?” You asked, and he looked at you with confusion, “Should’ve never taken me in, I bet?” You tried to ask again, but he couldn’t understand you. It was often hard to understand if you were asking if that’s how he felt or if you were admitting that’s how you felt. You were never taught how to make it clear, after all. No one ever cared for your words.

Instead of prying or correcting you, he shook his head. His hand on your head quieted you. “I love you,” He whispered, kissing the top of your head, and the notion made your body freeze. The feeling was foreign, and the action was something that was usually reserved for holidays, “I rarely ever say it, but know that I do, my daughter,” He said softly, but he opened your door all the same, not wanting to entertain this goodbye for any longer, “We will see each other again, I promise, give me three years and we’ll be together again, a normal family.”

—

You knew now it had all been nothing but a lie to get you out of the car so he could watch you grow smaller and smaller in the rearview mirror until you dissolved into nothing but a memory. You didn't think your father was even really capable of love in the first place. You’d give anything at the moment to be that cold, but you could certainly fake it. You let in a shaky breath as you looked to your fingertips, your ring one brushing along the scratch on the floor you were not looking forward to letting your security deposit go to. Brushing away the tears away from the streaks that have undoubtedly dried on already, you took one last moment to be upset, to be human, before you stood to pick up your phone.

The line only rang once before it clicked, “Thank you for calling The Rose Palace, how can I help you?” A sweet feminine voice hardly touched with the age she was filled your ears.

“Eunhwa?” You breathed, wanting more than anything to feel her maternal embrace but settling for the concern in her voice.

“Y/n? Is everything okay?” Your eyes fluttered closed when your one last tie to your previous life spoke.

“No.” Your answer was far too honest, but you grew so sick of lying today, “I, uh, need you to tell me how fucked I am.” You sniffled, pressing your eyes shut so you would stop looking at that damn scratch on the floor.

—

Jungkook was thankful when he found his apartment empty as he slid his back down the door, slumping against it on the floor defeatedly. His head hung low as he rested his arms on his knees. He shook his head, wanting more than anything to wake up from this nightmare already.

Every moment with you this morning circled in his mind like a broken record. It was torturous, but it was all he could do to face the reality of the situation. If he couldn’t keep you in his life, he had to at least figure out why. Had Bangtan done something to hurt you? Or had they hurt your family somehow? Did you even have any family for them to hurt? Fuck, where did it all go wrong?

He got himself stuck in this loop of questioning for an indeterminate amount of time as he ran through every millisecond of his time with you today. Every time he circled back, he always got stuck on that phone call. That phone call was the catalyst of the ruin he was in the throes of right now and something about it just… didn’t sit right with him. How often did coworkers call you for it to make sense? Sure, you could’ve lied, he’d hardly be in a place to judge, but then who else could it have been?

Suddenly keeping as much of yourselves private from each other felt like a mistake. Now that the people you both became in the presence of one another have effectively died, he’s left with nothing to do but cling to the you he never got to know. It’s an addiction, really. He should just be mourning the civillian distraction of his real life, but he knew you were so much more than a distraction, it’s just the first time he’s really feeling it. He couldn’t let you go, and he refused to even if he had the ability. He needed to figure out why it all went up in flames before he even considered mourning.

—

“I won’t lie to you, darling, but I will ask, do you want the good news or bad news first?” Eunhwa finally spoke after listening intently to your panicked word vomit.

You blew out a shallow sigh, “Bad news.” It would be pretty difficult for your day to get any worse at this point.

“Right.” Your former nanny had a nostalgic lilt to her voice before speaking, “Since the capture of your uncle and with the anniversary week in full swing, it would be pretty difficult to find someone in the underground willing to help you… in the way you may need help.” She spoke delicately, “The whispers suggest Bangtan isn’t going to stop with your uncle, and the whereabouts of your father and even you are… well, high ticket items, if you understand what I mean.”

“Yeah.” You struggled out. You knew all too well what she meant. In a world where the most important currency is power, almost anything was for sale in the Underworld’s market, especially information. You knew firsthand there were few things people wouldn’t do to get in the good graces of the syndicate in power, and you were more thankful than ever that the only active tie to your life before wouldn’t sell you out. Not that she would ever need to. Eunhwa was and always has been a well-respected figure in the underground, and she’s mastered the rare skill of neutrality while maintaining respect.

“And unless you have your father’s whereabouts to offer, it wouldn’t be wise to voluntarily come forward.” Or else they’d kill you on the spot. She spared you the detail, but you understood what she meant, “Good news is, after all of the mayhem of anniversary week cools down in a few weeks, we’d most likely be able to find someone to help.” Her weak attempt at trying to sound joyful was comforting regardless of how not effective it was on you, “Plus, Jungkook may not even add two and two together before then. I doubt he would be too keen on putting his best friend to death.”

“Except I’m no longer his best friend.” Your voice cracked with your heart, and you couldn't help that pitiful laugh that left you at how childish you sounded, “So I’m not sure if that would help me.”

Eunhwa sighs, and you can hear the pity in it. It should make you sick, but this was your last human connection in your personal life, so any care towards you was welcome right now, “Feelings don’t just go away the moment they should, you know that.” She softly chided, “We’ve all loved people for longer than we should’ve, and that might be the fact of life that’ll buy you the time you need.”

You hummed, not able to say much as her words soaked into your wet cheeks. You loved your father for much longer than you cared to and with Jungkook… Well, the pain would be one you were sure you’d feel for ages.

“I’m sorry, sweetheart.” She said, her voice going up an octave now that the logistics were out of the way, “Right now, just keep your head down and live your life like normal, okay?”

You hummed again, defeated, “What if I just packed a bag and left?” You mused, looking out the window. You knew why that wasn’t an option. There was no such thing as leaving the underground, especially not on your own. Not with the trail of bodies you’d have to leave behind. All it took was one call, and it would shatter you completely. How would you pay for anything? You were only given enough of a payout for school, everything else was given up. You’d be caught before you even made it to the airport or snuck onto a ship.

“You know better.” Eunhwa breathed, “You would be calling even more attention to yourself, and that would piss Jungkook off and tip him off to who you are at the same time.” You nodded. She always had a point. The fact was that Jungkook didn’t yet know who you were, but you feared it was only a matter of time, “I’ll call you when it’s time.” Was all she said before the line clicked. You almost laughed at the fact that before Jungkook, you were convinced your interactions with Eunhwa was the highest form of affection. Not that she didn’t care about you, it’s just the world she knew was one of keeping those she could love at an arm’s length. It was safest that way, and no one, not even you, was worth jeopardizing her safety. You couldn’t blame her for that, and you could only hope Jungkook would feel the same if he did find out about who you were.

Even more, you hoped you were long gone before the day came.

—

“I hear you, Sohee, I do, but you cannot just punch at full force everytime you get upset.” You looked at the 16-year-old as you tossed her ice, which she caught with ease and a pout in your direction. Kang Sohee was someone you’d consider a regular in your office. She was a bright student with poor emotional regulation– like most high school students already had– add that to the pressure of being in the top percentile in the nation, meant she was routinely in for her ibuprofen or a pack of ice.

“Would you rather I hit people?” She challenged but shrank when you gave her an exasperated look as you sat at your desk to type up the incident.

“Raise the bar, kid.” You sighed, “I’d rather you take those deep breaths we’ve rehearsed or punch a pillow or a folded hoodie like we’ve also rehearsed.” You gave her a pointed look, “I don’t want you to break your hand or split your knuckles to the point of needing stitches.” She winced at the thought and you nodded, “Exactly, it would be gruesome and only make you more upset in the end.”

She sighed, nodding, “It’s just…” She trailed off, and you nodded empathetically even though you had no idea what going to high school was like, from what you could tell it was no different than any other cliquey group with a hierarchy. There was significantly less bloodshed, which you were thankful for.

“I know.” You sighed, “Exams are coming, and emotions are running high.” She nodded at this, “And I’m glad you’re allowing yourself to feel those emotions, I just want you to express them in a way that doesn’t get you or anyone else hurt.”

She nodded once again, but snorted, “Okay, school counselor.” You sent her another glare as you paused your typing, making her smile.

Even though you rolled your eyes, you were just glad she was feeling better. These kids had a million different stressors that landed them in your office and led you to need to provide some kind of emotional support. You never figured yourself as good with children, but the students liked you well enough, so you figured you were doing something right. Maybe all that therapy you did during college came in handy, just not in the way your therapist might have thought.

“You have any significant others, Nurse L/n?” Sohee asked, making your typing cease.

Your eyes bulged as you blinked at her, “Now how did we get here?” You asked, making her giggle. Truthfully, you should’ve been used it by now. These kids rarely had any sense of decorum or minding intrusive questions.

“So no?” She tittered, chipping at your flimsy dignity a bit.

You snorted, “How mean, but no, Ms. Nosey, I am not… involved with anyone.” Jungkook’s face flashed in your mind for a reason you couldn’t pinpoint nor wanted to entertain. Especially not now. He was a friend and nothing more. Keyword: was.

Sohee thought for a moment before speaking again, a true rarity for her, “Well, Mr. Kang totally has a crush on you.” She blurted, and your fingers tripped along the keys, making your nail sink in the space between two of them.

“Sohee!” You gasped, erasing the series of semicolons that populated the page, “Wh- I-” You took a moment to breathe, “Mr. Kang does not-”

“Well, thanks for the icepack!” She called as she slipped out the door, leaving you with your mouth agape, “Oh, hi Mr. Kang!” She sang loudly, making your chest seize.

In walked Changhyun Kang, the history department head and advanced history teacher with a smile on his almost unnervingly handsome face. Living in the city on your own as you navigated adulthood came with many culture shocks, but one of them were how pretty some of the people you came across, Changhyun being one of them. He was nice though, because of course he was, and he came in every day to steal some ice for his mid-day coffee. He could very well go to the cafeteria for some, but your office was closer– barely. Regardless, you were in no state to pry into why he insisted on coming to your office. Jungkook had done his best to give you a rundown on how to talk to your fellow coworkers, but you elected to only use that advice when absolutely necessary. Now you couldn’t help but wonder how he even knew to coach you on that.

Changhyun’s eyes darted to the door, giving you a questioning brow, “Sohee is awfully chipper today.” He observed, “Especially for a Monday.” He chuckled. You never understood the fixation with announcing the days of the week among your coworkers, but you played along nonetheless. Right now, it just served as a reminder that you had a mere two days before anniversary week would reach its crescendo.

You sighed, “That she is.” You simply left it at that before changing the subject, “Thank you for reminding me it is nearly my lunch time.” You chuckled, continuing to type up the report.

He nodded, thinking for a moment, “Are you ever able to take your lunch early?” He asked curiously, before moving to get some ice.

You didn’t look up from your screen as you spoke, “Well, sure, I guess I just keep my usual time for the sake of routine.” You responded thoughtlessly.

“I see.” He spoke and the typing off your keyboard suddenly sounded way too loud.

You gulped, not sure how to fill the sudden awkward tension, “Why?” You asked, insistent on looking at your computer still.

“W-Well, I was just thinking maybe we could have lunch tomorrow or something?” He rushed out, and you paused, blinking for a moment. The urge to overthink the invitation was strong, especially since you weren’t sure how long you were even going to be here with everything else in your life going on. However, that was all the more reason it didn’t matter. Plus, who’s to say he was intending anything other than friendship. Changhyun was a good-looking guy, so it wouldn’t make much sense for him to be so bashful when asking for a date– not that you would even think to count an in-work lunch as a date in the first place. Obviously you were overthinking the situation anyways and for a bit too long as he continued, “I mean I bring my lunch, and you bring yours, and I come in here anyways, so we could just eat in here? –But if you prefer not–”

“Sure.” You turned to smile at him, “I could use the company.” You did your best to brighten your smile, and he returned it tenfold, “Maybe then the students will stop asking me if I have friends.” You tried to joke lightly, and surely Jungkook would be proud of you as Changhyun let out a hearty laugh.

“Same here.” He chuckled, but it did little to simmer the sting of Jungkook on your mind. Just before your coworker could notice your smile fall, you phone started vibrating. You looked down at it with a frown, “Well, I’ll let you get that. See you!” He gave a polite wave that you mirrored just as Jungkook told you to do.

Changhyun was kind enough to close your office door, which you were thankful for as you picked up the phone, too nervous to check the caller ID, “Hello?”

“Was it Byungjoo?” Your blood ran cold as Jungkook’s voice sliced through the receiver.

You’d seldom heard him sound like this before, but you can hardly register his tone when the name he uttered slices through your skin.

“Wh-What are you–” You tried to say something, but Jungkook couldn’t bear to hear you try to lie anymore.

“Who you saw at the fight. It was Byungjoo, wasn’t it?” He demanded, but something about his voice sounded… off. Like the way it would sound during finals week when he’d join your marathon studying. Has he… been up all night? Or longer? It’s Monday now and you both ended things Saturday morning.

Suddenly, Byungjoo fades from your mind and you’re just a friend again, “Jungkook, have you… slept?” You asked, and flinched at the sound of his sharp exhale, letting it sink in that he’d no longer be your solace from your past.

“Answer my question.” He demanded, but you pressed your lips together. You can’t answer his question, so that left you with one choice.

“I don’t know who–”

“Aren’t we done lying to each other?” He snapped, making your eyes widen, “Here, I’ll go first: I’ve watched every fucking frame of the crowd footage of the fight and cross-referenced them with every teacher in the goddamn city, and the only one’s that were the only ones that were in that footage for even a second hadn’t called out of work that day.”

It was like the air knocked out of you. Why? How? It didn’t make sense. What the fuck did Jungkook do for work? Is Namjoon more than just a boyfriend? The thought was too much to bear, “Please, it’s– it’s–” You had to take a semi-stabalizing breath, “Don’t do this.” You whispered.

“I wish I didn’t need to.” He spit, “But I can’t fucking do this without you–”

“Yes, you can–” You cut him off desperately despite how much you wanted to agree. He had no choice. Neither of you did. “Well then I don’t fucking want to!” He yelled, making your throat nearly close, “Look, you don’t have to worry about Byungjoo anymore–”

“It’s not Byungjoo I’m worried about.” You spoke honestly, not wanting to hear about your uncle’s fate any further, “It’s… not safe for me to be around you, Kook.” You admitted and it felt like pouring hot wax down your throat.

There were a few beats of agonizing silence before he spoke again, “I can make it safe for you.”

You shook your head before sighing, “You can’t.” The crack in your voice mirrored your resolve. It would be so easy to just say the full truth, but you let your mouth close, hoping it would stau that way, “This is… it’s bigger than just you, okay?”

“No.” He deadpanned, and you sighed, “No, not okay. This… nothing is too big for me…” He all but promises before adding, “...not when it comes to you.”

Your heart ached in your chest. How many times had anyone deemed you worth much beyonf what you could give them? And would anyone else do it in the future? Jungkook was all you had and how much that meant to you teared you apart as you spoke, “It’s not worth–”

“Yes, you are.” Was all he seethed before hanging up.

You were stuck there for a moment, frozen with your phone to your ear. Had you not seen the call log yourself, you could’ve convinced yourself that whole thing was just a horrible nightmare. You wished it had been. The last thing you needed was Jungkook to tear open the wounds that haven’t even begun to heal properly and incidentally signing your death certificate. Then again, maybe his tune would change once he found out who you were. You weren’t some unsullied reprieve from his life in the Underworld, and maybe once he realized that, he’d turn his back on you. He’d realize you weren’t worth much at all. Just like everyone eventually does.

Bitterness filled your mouth and it’s only then you realized you gnawed on the skin of your lips for too long. You huffed out, opening your compact mirror to asses the damage only to find one small red sliver. You placed a small piece of tissue on the oozing blood and put on your mask for the rest of the day.

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Masterlist

#bts mafia au #bts fanfic #bts series #bts poly au #ot7 x reader #yandere bts #yandere bts x reader #bts x reader #mafia bts #yandere mafia bts

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faulty-writes · 1 year

Note

Do you think you could write a really soft REALLY flustered kind of iida x gn(or fem) yn, who knows full well how in love iida is with them? And I mean like iida has steam coming out of his ears (engines?) kind of flustered. I just adored super soft iida!

[ Yes, hello! Fluff seems to be my specialty and I think this request is adorable. So yes, I can write a really soft flushed Iida and reader. I apologize for taking so long on this. ]

The first time you met him was...awkward, and you'd never forget how those eyes widened when he looked at you nor the way his cheeks turned an unusual red color. Of course, given the events that happened just prior to meeting him, his reaction was normal.

It happened in the Development Studio when one of Mei Hatsume's inventions went haywire, not that such a thing was surprising, and a loud explosion sounded followed by the room billowing with smoke and fire. Of course, you hardly had the time to pay attention to that considering the force of the explosion sent you flying.

Then again, you hadn't expected to collide with someone, but it happened and when your vision stopped spinning and the smoke cleared you noticed something soft underneath you and quickly realized that you were lying on top of someone.

"Huh?" was the first word that left your mouth when you lifted your head and looked down to see one of the more handsome hero students underneath you. Then your hands curled into the front of his uniform jacket, and you realized the rather compromising position you were in.

Your chest against his and your legs entangled together, not to mention how your heart raced when he finally came to and looked at you. Of course, you assumed the fast pace of your heart was because your body was still getting over the shock of what had just happened.

His eyes lingered on you for a long moment, and you swear you felt something making your legs vibrate. It wasn't too far-fetched to say it could have been a side effect of whatever quirk he had, but you could also hear a faint thudding sound as if a tiny engine were sparking to life.

The next thing you knew, his hands were on your shoulders, and he sat up while saying, "Pardon, my apologies but I believe I must check on my friend's," politely. Although you noticed that his gaze was turned away and his face remained flushed.

Ever since that day, he acted strange around you, well maybe 'strange' wasn't the right word. It seemed that he always tried to catch your attention when he came to the Support Department, although you understood why most students tended to avoid talking to Hatsume.

Despite her gift in crafting support gear, she was a tad too unhinged for most. But what you didn't understand was the fact that Tenya came to you for the littlest of things like a scratch on his hero suit, or in some cases, he only came by to try and start a conversation with you.

Of course, his conversations were usually full of stutters, which as far as you knew, was completely unlike him. Normally he was confident when he spoke to others. Not to mention that his face would turn the faintest red just like the day you had collided with each other.

You had come to discover that the thudding sound was indeed produced by his quirk and that it only occurred when he was in your presence. You would have loved to run a diagnostic on his engines but tried to restrain yourself from asking him. After all, that would be a huge invasion of personal space.

Still, it wasn't that hard to figure out he had feelings for you and as time went on you wondered if anyone or even his closest friends knew about it. But that wasn't necessarily your concern. After all, Tenya was upfront and honest, or at least you believed he was?

Logic dictated that if he had something to tell you, he would. But you never expected you'd have so much fun teasing him about it, much less on a Saturday afternoon in the park. You normally tested out your more dangerous inventions outside or those you were currently working on, and the park was the perfect place to do just that.

You usually positioned yourself by the lake, just in case something caught on fire, and packed a large lunch. Your favorite part of the day was eating on the nearby bench and staring at the birds that played in the lake while admiring the way the sun and the clouds reflected off the surface of it.

The faint sounds of children playing and couples talking to one another as they walked along were all around you, and while you normally would block them out one sound seemed to catch your attention. "Hm?" you paused and turned your head to look down the paved road that surrounded the lake.

You should have known that Tenya of all people would be out running on a Saturday. His mind felt clouded as of late. It was unlike him to daydream or become so unfocused with his academic studies. But he found that on those late nights of sitting at his work desk inside his dorm room, thoughts of you continuously entered his mind.

Then his body would react in the strangest way. His stomach would feel uneasy, and his cheeks would grow in temperature. His engines would begin to produce the faintest steam and unlike when he used his quirk for heroism, this steam was the faintest gray color and did not smell of burning.

But even he knew why this was happening and why you were the cause. It seemed that he was in love with you or at least his symptoms were that of love. Then again, there were many qualities that you possessed that he adored.

The fact that you crafted such wonders, your intelligence, the kind way you spoke to everyone. The way you'd jump at the chance to help someone in need. You were undefinable and the light that shined through you made him almost intimidated to approach you. He knew this was silly given the fact that he had faced many dangers.

Yet, he hadn't seemed to summon the courage to walk up to you and attempt to convey the emotions that rained deep within his heart. 'Perhaps I am being rather foolish' he thought as he continued running down the path before him, carefully avoiding the passersby.

'Y/n is quite...well perhaps indescribable, but I cannot deny the way they cause me to feel and-' his thoughts suddenly came to a halt when he turned his head as he passed by a bench. His eyes widened, and all at once his world seemed to slow when he saw you.

Your eyes were just as wide as his and you were standing up with your hand held out as if you wanted to greet him hello. Oh, why did that simple gesture cause his heart to race!? For a moment he contemplated if he should stop or simply keep going and calm himself before speaking to you.

It was clear that you had already seen one another, and it would be rude not to speak to you. "Huh?" you blinked a few times as Tenya passed, even without the use of his quirk it seemed he was faster than the average individual.

You pondered for a moment if you could study just how fast he was both with and without the use of his engines, but that was highly unlikely. Especially after Hatsume made a fool of him during the Sports Festival. Would he agree to be part of any study that was presented by the Department of Support?

"Okay bye I guess?" you said, watching as he continued down the path before slowly coming to a stop a mile or two away. You knitted your eyebrows but shrugged and quickly took the last bite of your food before wiping your hands clean and returning to your makeshift workstation.

You had set yourself up with a foldable table and a blanket. Various bits and pieces of metal and inventions lay scattered around you and on the table, there were power tools and a half-finished support item you were making for one of the hero students.

"Let's see..." you tapped your chin, trying to decide if you wanted to continue working on your current invention or test out one of the ones laying on the blanket. Glancing between the two, you sighed. Decisions, decisions.

"Maybe I should finish this one first," you moved the device on the table closer to you. The way his heart was racing was not normal and the heat that came to his cheeks was making his glasses fog up. He pressed his hand to his chest, feeling the subtle thump of his heart.

His mouth suddenly felt dry, as if he hadn't drunk anything for days when he turned to look over his shoulder at you. His engines vibrated and he knew it was only a matter of time before that steam began to billow from them.

Yes, he knew staring was rude, but he couldn't help himself. You always looked so beautiful when you were lost in your work. He almost felt hesitant to walk over, but once again reminded himself that it would also be rude to avoid speaking to you.

So, with a deep breath, he attempted to regain his composure before slowly walking over to you. His hands felt clammy, and his engines continued to spark to life despite his attempts to consciously stop them. By the time he approached you, he was a flushing mess and took note that you seemed to be ignoring him.

He waited a few moments as he watched you work, seemingly oblivious to the world around you or so he thought. You knew he was standing there, and part of you was surprised considering you thought he would have said something by now.

Of course, it was also safe to assume he didn't know what to say given his feelings toward you. It wasn't until he cleared his throat that you addressed his presence. "Hm?" lifting your head, you tried to hold back the smile that threatened to come when you looked at him.

"Oh, hi Iida," you said as casually as possible, taking note of his flushed cheeks and the dull sound of his engines. He swallowed hard and cleared his throat before answering. "Yes, hello Y/n, I hope you are well this afternoon!" his voice was slightly raised, and he was chopping one of his hands rapidly through the air as per usual.

You chuckled softly, despite knowing that Tenya wasn't someone that enjoyed being laughed at. But you couldn't help it, you found his small ticks to be rather endearing and yet strange. "I'm fine, just testing out some inventions..." you gestured to the one that currently sat on the table and then to the ones that lay on the blanket.

"Ah, yes!" he blurted out, once again raising his hand in the air. "Your craft is quite admirable! I am pleased to have been given an invention of your design!" he stated, a little too loudly you noted and on top of that his voice was shaky. Then when you glanced down you could see that familiar steam seeping from his calves.

"Heh," you smirked, deciding to have a little fun, and folded your hands behind your back, looking at him with a poutful expression. "You know..." you said, walking around the table and toward him. He took a step back out of instinct, and you noted his cheeks grew a darker shade of red when you stopped in front of him.

"I could use someone to help me test some of these inventions today, I get a little bored on my own," you batted your eyelashes and slowly placed your hands on his chest, feeling the way his skin tensed up from beneath the fabric of his jogger suit.

The slight scent of metal burning filled your nostrils and even without looking, you knew that his engines were sparking more and more to life with each passing second. In addition, you could feel the way his heart pounded in his chest.

He seemed at a loss for words, but even so, you couldn't help but smile. You weren't trying to manipulate his feelings for you, in fact, you found the way he was reacting to be just as cute as his hand-chopping. But maybe if the two of you got closer, it would help motivate him to finally tell you how he felt.

"Please, won't you help me...Iida?" you said, purposely extending your bottom lip out. Those eyes of his seemed to sparkle as he looked down at you, and despite the slight sweat that was beginning to form across his brow he answered, "I...I s-suppose I c-can be of assistance if you wish!" he responded, quickly turning his head away.

You grinned in victory and decided to take advantage of the moment. "Thank you, Iida," you said, daring to get onto your tippy toes and place a kiss on his cheek which felt warm against your soft and slightly moist lips.

His engines suddenly backfired and a loud 'bang' echoed through the air, catching you off guard. You stumbled back, looking at him with wide eyes. A massive amount of smoke now surrounded him, and with his cheeks still red and his head turned away from you he stuttered out an apology.

He had not expected you to go as far as to kiss him, even if it was on the cheek. He knew that typical signs of affection such as that could be viewed as both platonic and romantic and though he had his hopes, he could not interpret what you had implied through it.

Yet, he turned his head back, daring to look you in the eye. "S-shall we begin? I would be honored to...assist you with your inventions..." he stated, despite being a tad nervous due to his past experience, but surely your inventions were less destructive than Hatsume's.

"Heh...right, um stand over there," you said, gesturing to a spot near the lake. He nodded in response and as he walked over he thought, 'Perhaps Y/n and I may be...closer one day,' and when that day came, he desired to be able to speak to you, to express himself more properly around you without having his nerves get in the way.

#tenya x reader #tenya x you #tenya x y/n #iida x reader #iida x you #iida x y/n #bnha x y/n #bnha x reader #bnha x you #faulty writes: tenya iida: 23 #faulty writes: tenya iida: one shot: 23

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reg-arcturus-black · 5 months

Text

The Room is on Fire, Invisible Smoke

Soft!Billy Russo x Female reader

Part 2/2

Warnings: (kinda major) sexual hints, lots of drinking

Words: it's a lot longer than I was expecting... 3.3 k

Part 1 here

gif not mine

You sat with your head in your hands, wondering how to get Billy back. He was never really yours to begin with so then why did it feel like you had lost him? So he was too mad to even talk to you but not enough to come save you from a baseless panic attack? What was he even mad about? You were honestly afraid to know the answer. You were sure that you had lost the only good thing in your life, no thanks to your stubborn self. If only you would have fessed up instead of waiting around for him.

You leaned against the door, hearing Bill walk away from the house he had spent countless nights in. In separate beds, of course, except for that one night... Shaking your head of the thoughts of that night, you decided to go for a shower instead and get ready for work. You had a long day ahead of you filled with torturous colleagues and a boss who loved to micromanage.

You had sworn that all you needed from the company was the work experience of three years and then you would fly off to London for a better position and salary. With the three years almost done, you were closer to your dreams than ever. Especially now that you had destroyed the only thing keeping you back in New York.

You could feel yourself physically filling up with dread as you drove closer and closer to your office. It had been a long time now but the feeling never seemed to go away. Bracing yourself to endure another never-ending day, you entered the office building and scanned your ID card. The swivel gate let you walk in to what you thought hell looked and felt like.

'Just till 5...' you muttered to yourself and managed to get in the elevator before it closed. It was so crowded, you barely had any place to breathe, let alone stand.

'Cutting it awfully close, again, I see,' you heard someone say from the back.

Jim. You would have recognised that voice anywhere. Not because you loved him. But because you hated him - and that was an understatement. He had done everything possible to make your professional life miserable. He would steal credit, talk shit about you to your boss and the others and would constantly look down on you. He would take every chance he could to humiliate you publicly.

'I clocked in 18 minutes early, you dickhead,' you whispered the last part without turning back. You walked off the elevator before the doors had even opened up completely and practically threw your bag on the desk. Jim had the capacity to ruin your entire day with just one single sentence. And the worst part was that he knew he had this effect on you so he would do it even more, just of out of spite.

You threw yourself into work to distract yourself from the thoughts of Billy and Jim and your stupid office. It was a pretty uneventful day until your boss came up to the desk right behind you and congratulated Jim for submitting all his work perfectly within the deadline. It would have been fine if that would have been it. But no, your misogynist boss just had to come to you and praise his work and ask you to 'take inspiration from him'.

That day, you didn't even wait till 5 to clock out and left storming out the big glass door at 4 pm. Rushing home, you changed into your comfiest pajamas and grabbed a big tub of ice cream. You were on your fifth episode of The Vampire Diaries when you took a deep breath and turned off Netflix.

You were tired of being stuck in this loop. With your professional life terrible and your love life being uncertain, no thanks to Billy's unwillingness to confess or agree to anything, you wanted to just run away. You grabbed your phone and were about to call him to sort everything out before realising that you didn't care. Well, you did but it was emotionally exhausting. Choosing to put that aside, you put on your best, little-est, black dress and left the house.

It was usually Billy who took you out to all these fancy bars but you were sick and tired of being dependent on him. Or on anyone else for that matter. You wanted to go out tonight, drink till the early hours of the morning and be a woman who needed no one. A strong, powerful woman with red lips and revealing little black dresses. Confidently, you grabbed a seat at one of the shadiest bars of New York.

While ordering 3 tequila shots, you saw the bartender clearly staring at your chest before looking away awkwardly and getting you your drinks. You had gulped down all three one after the other in a single minute when you heard a bar stool being pulled closer to yours.

'Please get the lady's next drink on me,' a handsome man in a black shirt said, looking straight at you, not breaking you eye contact.

'In that case' you addressed the bartender. 'I'll have your most expensive drink please.' You winked at the beautiful stranger. 'All thanks to the gracious gentleman,' you smirked, rubbing your hand lightly on his chiseled arm.

See? This was fun. This was easy. Flirting with men, knowing exactly what you wanted and getting that because the man would reciprocate as well. Reciprocate? Hell, he initiated the whole thing so who were you to back down and deny yourself a handsome man with a sharp jawline, hair of a God and the voice of a rockstar.

You touched him as much as you could, shamelessly flirting- it was your guilty pleasure. And why wouldn't it be? It was not like Billy was waiting for you. And you weren't waiting for him either. Not anymore.

You were on your third glass of scotch when your senses started going numb and you could feel your inhibitions lowering. It was all fun and games and you intended to keep it that way. His hand was on your thigh now and it kept moving upwards every once in a while. You didn't plan to stop it either. Besides, the night was still young.

Being with this name-less stranger was so much better than being with Billy. At least that way, you could just have fun and then forget all about it the next morning. Unlike with Billy. Every word, every moment spent with him seemed to cling on to you. You couldn't get rid of it no matter how much you tried. Even his darkness, his shadows seemed alluring to you. As if it was inviting you in. And the truth was, you did not mind being swallowed up whole by his darkness. He, however, did not want that.

'Lost in thoughts, beautiful?' the stranger asked. His raspy voice sent a chill up your spine. 'I have a few ways to bring you back to earth,' he said, moving his hands even farther up your thighs, dangerously close to the hem of your dress.

Your hand moved from his back to the back of his collar, gripping it tightly as your eyes closed in anticipation.

'It might look because of the alcohol but I do have quite an effect on you,' he said as your answer was let out by a shaky moan.

If this is what destruction felt like, you were ready to embrace it and let it consume you. It was only when you wanted to look at his beautiful face that you opened your eyes and your sight fell on your drink. And you were pretty sure it had changed it's color.

You were drunk anyway, you thought. What's a roofied drink more? You gulped the drink in one go and before you knew it, you were kissing the stranger, your hands all over his face and neck. It was only when you were kissing him that you realised how good it felt. How good it was to kiss someone wantonly and having someone kiss you back.

"Give me a minute, will you? And clear the tab while I am gone." You said, breaking the kiss and walking away without waiting for his answer.

You found a relatively quiet corner of the bar and pulled out your phone. This was a victory moment for you and Billy needed to know. He needed to know how there are others who want you and you are willing to give yourself to them completely.

It had rang barely thrice before he received your call.

"You know what, Bills?" Your words slurred. "I am kissing the most handsome man on the planet and it's not you... And it feels soooo good, you have no idea...."

"Y/N, are you drunk? Where are -"

"His hands are working magic, Billy... I am pretty sure he put something in my drink but I don't care!" You practically screamed. "At least someone wants me... And I am gonna take him back to my place and let him do things to me, Bills... You're welcome to watch if you want but just know..." At this point, you had lost all train of thought. "You had me and lost me and I am gonna have so much fun with him tonight, Bills..."

You hung up abruptly and stumbled your way back to the bar.

"Let's go," you said and grabbed his hand, pulling him towards the door of the club.

"Where?" He asked.

"My place," you said, pushing him against the wall outside the bar and grazing your fingers gently over his neck. "My turn to bring you back to earth..."

He was about to lean in closer and kiss you but you moved away and called for a cab. The entire cab ride home, for some inexplicable reason, you sat as far away from him as possible. All of a sudden, you weren't liking his touch anymore or the way he was looking at you. It seemed almost... Animalistic. The hunger in his eyes, the impatience in his hands, they all seemed very obvious.

You were fine in the dim lights of the bar and the mood that had been set. You were on your way to a night you were sure you would never forget and yet, every part of you felt uncomfortable. Maybe if it would have been Billy -

You did not want to think about him. At all. So choosing to focus on the handsome man next to you, you moved in closer to him, practically on his lap and wrapped your arms around his neck.

"Oh, the things I am going to do you," you whispered in his ear and felt his hand removing the strap of your dress as he kissed your shoulder. "Patience, baby," you practically moaned into his ear and felt his grip tighten on your back.

You wasted no time in getting down from the cab and pulling him towards your building. He had started kissing you in the elevator before you were even at the house, trying to unlock the door. Something about it felt wrong. As if your mind wasn't completely in it and his touch didn't feel right anymore. However, you had made up your mind and were going to take this stranger home, no matter what.

It was only when you were too busy kissing him to unlock your door that you heard someone clear their throat.

"Busy much?"

You would have recognised that voice out of a lineup. Billy.

"Go away man," your lover said, paying no heed to him and continued to kiss you.

Your eyes, however, were now on Billy. His face had seemed to go red and he was clenching his jaw.

Before you knew it, Billy was separating the two of you forcibly.

"Why don't you go away?" He asked angrily. "Given the fact that I am Y/N's boyfriend and you should leave before I beat you to a pulp for putting something in her drink."

"Geez, whatever fucked up agreement you two have, I am out," he said and turned around to leave, buttoning up his shirt's top buttons again.

"No, wait, don't go, he's not my boyfriend!" you cried, trying to follow after him but drunk you on heels was a bad idea and you would have fallen if you had run after him. "Stranger!" You cried, trying to stop him. "Handsome man! Loveerrrrrr!!! Hey, black shirt!! Come back, I'll show you a good time," you giggled, almost falling down.

You allowed yourself to lean against the wall and turned around, only to find yourself face to face with Billy.

Rolling your eyes at him, you made your way back to the door and unlocking it, went inside, slamming the door on his face. He, however, had other plans and followed you inside. "You're NOT my boyfriend, Billy. What do you even want? Why did you send him away? I was having fun!"

"Are you crazy?" He practically screamed but lowered his volume and went to get you a glass of water.

"What were you about to do, Y/N?" He asked worriedly. "Are you really that determined to get yourself into trouble?"

"It wasn't trouble, Bills," you answered. "I just wanted to feel wanted for one freaking night."

"You brought a strange man home, Y/N! You were drunk and practically all over him. What if -"

"It is better than waiting around for you, Bills! I did everything I could for you! Hell, I was even ready to sleep with you! But what did that lead to? Nothing!"

"You pushed me away, Y/N. I didn't want to sleep with you because I didn't want to ruin what we have so you responded by pushing me away..." He replied, seeming tired now.

He knew it was the most cliche excuse but he cherished the bond he shared with you. And a meaningless one night stand would have ruined it. He couldn't risk that.

"Y/N, I-" He started but you weren't in the living room anymore. He found you instead in the kitchen, drinking directly from the vodka bottle.

"Whoa, okay, you need to stop," he said, gently taking away the bottle from your hand.

"You need to stop," you repeated, words barely making sense at this point. "You need to take inspiration from him... You're late... You're crazy... This is what my life has come to, Bills!" You screamed. "My work life is a big joke but I have to do it because I want to be independent! You on the other hand .. I don't have to keep going in circles with you because I am done, Bills! If you don't want me, I will find someone who does! What don't you get about it?"

"So you will intentionally put yourself in danger Y/N? Knowing that you will regret it for the rest of you life?"

"I don't fucking care, Billy! I don't care!"

This was the point when you finally allowed yourself to sit down and cry. "I got a hundred thrown out speeches I almost said to you, Bills.... But what even is the point? It's better to just be alone than to hurt and be hurt... Enough is enough... I - I have loved you with all my heart, Bills... But there's no point because - because you don't... And I just, I can't give you my heart... It's like, each night I sleep, I know I will wake up in a burning room and be surrounded by an invisible smoke but that smoke is YOU... You make me so helpless, Billy. I - I don't know what to do. Every part of me screams out that you might feel the same way but nothing ever shows it... I am a mess! Look at me... This uncomfortable dress, the make up I don't even like... Each day, all day, I keep asking myself, who could ever leave but then who could stay? And you know what happens whenever I look at you? I feel like you could stay... But you never do, Billy... You never do..." You were sobbing by this point.

"There are times, you know," you continue, wiping your eyes. "What if I don't need you? What if I am alright right here? By myself. It's better than acting like a child who never grew up and will do anything to get your attention but I am sick and tired of it, Bills... Each night, I go to sleep begging you to help me hold on to you... But you just don't care... And I am better off... I really am..."

Billy was not expecting this. He had come prepared to scare away the random guy you were bringing home and then putting you to bed. He did not come prepared for you sobbing on your kitchen floor, drunk beyond words and spilling out your secrets.

He gently helped you up and took you to your bedroom. "I am gonna wait outside," he said, talking your face in his hands and gently wiping away your tears. "Why don't you take all the make up that you don't like off and freshen up and I'll be right on the other side of the door?"

Too exhausted to say or even think anything, you worked like a robot, getting in the shower and changing into comfier clothes.

The moment Billy heard your door lock click, he knocked and entered with a jug of water and Advil. "Come here," he said, leading you to your own bed and sat down with you. "I am so sorry, Y/N," he said, caressing your cheeks with his thumb. "That I ever made you feel like I didn't love you... Because that's all I have ever done and that's all I am ever going to do... And I will probably die doing it... I am sorry that I let you keep building up walls against me... I am sorry that I hurt you over and over and over again... I am sorry I got mad at you for meeting other men when I should have put in efforts to be a man who deserves you... I am sorry that you kept suffering every single day and I only watched from afar instead of holding you through it... I don't know how much of it will you remember tomorrow but I promise you Y/N, this moment onwards, you are never going through anything alone ever again. Not shitty bosses or shitty colleagues, not shitty days and especially not shitty men. I promise I will be there to love you through them all, no matter what... Because I really do love you, Y/N... More than I imagined was humanly possible... My heart fills up to the brim whenever I look at you, Y/N... Every time you laugh, the world seems a lot better and it feels like nothing can ever go wrong... And I am so sorry that I never told you how precious you are to me... You are the light of life, Y/N... I love you so freaking much..."

He placed a small kiss on you head and felt you melt into his arms.

"I wanna sleep, Bills..." You sighed.

He was afraid how much of it were you going to remember but your health was what mattered to him at the moment. He turned off the lights and gently tucked you in.

"I know you're an independent woman, Y/N and you don't need anyone. But I promise that if I cannot be the light that guides you, then I promise to sit with you in the dark... And I hope you always remember that..." He kissed your hand before walking towards the door.

"Stay," you whispered sleepily, your eyes barely open. "Please..."

And stay he did.

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Taglist: @dreamyjcel @doriangray-lover @el-de-phi

#Spotify #billy russo #billy russo fluff #billy russo x reader #taylor swift #the punisher #the archer #ben barnes #ben barnes fic #ben barnes fanfiction #ben barnes imagine #ben barnes fluff

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string-of-beads · 1 year

Text

V. Hard Freeze (18+)

You feel tipsy and tired. Like the energy has ebbed out of you even though you just woke up. It's afternoon, late afternoon by the look of the sunlight through the curtains. You hear clattering in the direction of the kitchen. The old frame of your bed creaks as you sit up. You don't remember falling asleep under your quilt but it's folded around you. Tommy looks up from the tea he's attempting to quietly brew. "Morning," he says flatly, "want some tea?" You rub at your eyes and stretch your arms high above your head. "Afternoon, Tommy," you exhale through a yawn, "thank you." He gives a sort of half grunt of acknowledgment, mostly focusing on keeping his cigarette caught between his lips.

You're sitting in your bed mostly wrapped in the quilt but your upper body is exposed and your nipples are hard in your cool flat. You're still completely naked under the quilt. Tommy isn't. You watch him, making tea in just his pants. After fiddling with your hob he turns around and fixes his attention on pulling in a long drag from his cigarette and letting it flow slowly out his mouth and into his nostrils. He looks like a dragon or some kind of other mythic thing. Well, he is himself a mythic thing.

A man of stone and ice. He is like hard marble or granite. He is iron and frost and yet he softened, just briefly, for you. "What're you looking at, love?" He's still staring straight ahead through your window. "Was it that obvious?" He lets out a wry chuckle. "If feeling eyes on me was a trade, I'd be a millionaire. I think it's a side effect of France." He's leaning against counter space next to the hob, one hand is pressed against it and the other is cradling the cigarette between his fore and middle fingers. It's nearly gone now, almost all turned to ash. "Do you smoke?" The question catches you off guard, so casual that it makes you cover yourself again to avoid appearing over eager. "No, Tommy. I don't smoke." He takes another drag and breathes out, "Makes sense. You've only got one lighter in the house." The corners of his mouth pull up very slightly. "Smokers will put a lighter--or matches--into any crevice, crack, or cranny they can find." He looks at you. "Anything to feed a habit."

He regards you softly and you realize that his lust has been quelled, for now, and he's taking more notice of you, not just your body and how he can use it but you as a person. Possibly he's admiring the way your hair shines in the sunlight. Maybe he's noticing the color of your eyes. No, you tell yourself, he's positively awestruck at my nose. The thought makes you smile and nearly start laughing. He smiles slightly wider, turns the hob off, tosses the last ashes of his cigarette in the basin, and pads towards you in the bed. "What are you smiling at?" He stands at the foot of the bed with his arms crossed trying to appear dominant and serious but failing to wipe the smile from his face. You giggle and respond, "Nothing really, Tommy. Just... Thinking of you looking at me like that." A slight lie but one that won't harm a soul. "Ah. I see," he says stoically and moves to sit by you on the bed. "And how am I looking at you?" He grins at me, the corners of his eyes crinkle as well. You laugh outright. "I don't know! You're looking at me like you could eat me up if-" With that you see the fire blaze in his eyes again, "I would you know. If you'd let me." He suddenly unsettles you. You're aroused and frightened in equal measure and you love it. Your skin pricks with excitement and your stomach coils into knots.

Yes. You would let him do whatever he wanted. You must look afraid because Tommy quickly says, "I want to use my tongue and taste you. Would you let me?" Heat's rising in your cheeks. His eyes are still bright with wanting and that wanting feels so perfect that you hesitantly agree, "Anything to feed a habit, right?" His eyes widen and he kisses you hard and deep on the lips. "Tell me if I need to stop, please." He hungrily whips the quilt from around you, pulls your hips so you're laying flat and horizontal on the bed, and props your thighs around his head. You cross your ankles, locking him in. His fingers press deep into the muscles of your legs, nearly hurting you. He's crouched by the edge of the bed like a big cat ready to pounce, "Ready?" You smile at him wickedly. You do know what he's going to do now. You don't know how it'll make you feel.

He begins by kissing your thighs. You're already so aroused that you could burst from the pure eroticism of Tommy fucking Shelby kneeling between your legs. His hands massage the outside of your thighs as he grips and twists that soft skin. His kisses are loud, needy. He's restraining himself. His lips drag from leg to leg kissing a slow, agonizing trail to your hot desperate cunt. You are already so wet, practically dripping. You feel a thin sheen of sweat bead over your body. It's suddenly very very hot--stifling--in your flat.

You realize that you're restraining yourself too. You are holding something back but you don't know quite what. Maybe you're fighting the urge to scream, "touch me, for the love of God, touch me!" Maybe you're afraid of what is coming and if he would still want you after he leaves, after the sun sets. Maybe you're holding back tears because good God, he's kissing you there and it feels so good you don't know what else to do but sob. Tommy's hands move from the outside of your thighs and wrap possessively over your hips, his left hand is pressing on the space over your mound and his right hand is kneading and squeezing your left hip and running up and down you left side. His tongue deftly dips in and out of you. He slurps and sucks at the knot of nerves making your legs twitch. Your eyes roll to the back of your head. Your back arches. Your breaths are ragged and gasping like someone drowning.

Your hands fist in the quilt and you hang on, white-knuckled, for dear life until he stops, suddenly, you let out a strangled and frustrated half cry. Tommy, breathing almost as heavy as you, says, "Look at me. I need to see you. Please." You whip your head down to look in between your breasts at him, he looks as desperate as you feel. "I see you, Tommy." He smiles wide, you're both panting like dogs, "I see you too," he replies. You felt your grip on the quilt loosen and move to touch his face. You sit up to bring his face close to yours. He closes his eyes at the gentle touch. You kiss him, increasing the pressure of the kiss as you move your hands to tangle in his hair. With a tug, you break the kiss. He groans and you see his cock stiffen inside his pants. He likes giving you this power, you think. You pull his face close to you again and kiss him again. You dip your tongue into his mouth. You taste your own juices and the last remaining essence of tobacco. He moans with the mix of pleasure and pain.

You know that you're hurting him, but it's only enough to get his attention. Enough to let him know who's in charge here. He might be the indomitable Thomas Shelby, leader of the Peaky Blinders outside of this room but here... here is where you have reduced him to just a man twice in one day so far. Drunk on that power and pure lust you bite his lip, a love bite, and move your mouth the nibble at his ear lobe. You let go of his longer hair and your hand slides to the back of his head. He's waiting on bated breath for what's going to happen next. Good boy. In a whiny, breathy voice you whisper in his ear, "Keep going. Please, Tommy?" His breath hitches. His hair stands on end.

With a snarl of white hot lust, Tommy quickly replaces your legs around his head. The sudden movement forces you to lay back again. He returns to your core. His tongue moves faster than before. You look down at him, like he asked. He looks beautiful. His dark hair in stark contrast to the pale color of his back. His mouth on your cunt, drinking from you like you're an oasis in the desert. His eyes flick up to you and you can tell that he has something wicked planned. His left hand is bracing around your right thigh. His right hand disappears but you feel it as two fingers push easily inside of you. They start to stroke inside of you, hitting something that sparks and fizzes deliciously. You gasp with the arching sensation firing through you. You take a deep breath, desperate for air. You can't stop yourself from talking, nearly yelling, between breathing and moaning through a chorus of ecstasy. "O, holy mother of God, Tommy! O God!" Your hands find purchase in his hair and the pressure of you there only encourages his attention. The sound of his mouth and fingers at work and your moans harmonize in a sinful song.

Your mind can barely keep up with your body. It's sprinting towards a finish that you're not sure you'll survive. You are being drowned in waves upon waves of bliss. "Tom- close-," is all you can muster while his tongue licks and sucks you just right and you cry out in ecstasy. The ceiling spins above you. You close your eyes to savor anything your mind can hang onto. The wave you're riding is brand new. Stars twinkle behind your eyes. You're moaning, "O... O... Tommy... O, Tommy... Yes... Yes...Yes!" Your orgasm pulls up quick and tight then explodes like a grenade through your body. It lights a sparkling, dazzling fire through every one of your nerves. You feel yourself cum hard into his mouth. A tidal wave gushes out of you and all you can do is hold on to him. It's a nearly out of body experience. Your legs are shaking violently. It's like seeing a Divine Being or some kind of miracle before your mortal eyes. Pleasure courses like lightning through your veins. You are among the stars and only recognize your descent back to earth when you feel the rumble of Tommy moaning with satisfaction. He cleans every inch of you. You catch sight of his eyes, wild and bright.

"Fucking hell that was... Amazing," you wheeze. You begin laughing and crying which makes you laugh more. You can't find the words to describe how simply perfect you feel. You are totally spent. Your legs probably couldn't move if you wanted them to. You're still crying and laughing and trying to catch your breath. Tommy kisses back down your legs, being sure to splay them. You need to let yourself breathe but you can't stop laughing and crying. Maybe this is the moment he'll realize you're mad. They could put you away for this sort of delirium and that thought brings more laughter.

Tommy climbs over your useless body to lay beside you. You've closed your eyes in a poor attempt to hide the tears and somehow muffle the laughter. If you can't see him, he can't see you. "You alright, angel?" O...angel! You open your watery eyes. He's lying next to you on his side with one arm propping up his head. His hair is crumpled. He looks like he ran a marathon. You let out another laugh, tears still streaming down your face, "No. I'm not alright." You laugh again and turn your head to face him. "Tommy Shelby, I can honestly say that I've never felt better in my entire life and I honestly don't think I ever will again." You laugh more and return your gaze to the ceiling. He chuckles, "That sounds like a challenge to me. Perhaps I should've set the bar lower." His free hand grabs your chin and turns it towards him so you have to look in his frosty blue eyes, "Anything to feed a habit, right, Angel?" He moves to straddle you and you are face to face. This helps you to stop laughing. He wipes my tears away. "Was it really that good?" You let out a final huff of delirious laughter, "I can't describe how good it really was. There are no words. God, Tommy." You close your eyes and take in a deep breath. "That was... I don't really know... beautiful? Thank you..." You sigh, slightly embarrassed to be thanking someone for driving you to madness. He laughs lightly, "I should thank you." You look at him confused, he never even took his cock out. Why should he be thanking you? You look at him quizzically and he continues, "Many people don't know this about me but I love a sweet; pudding, cakes, sweet nuts, pies... whatever." He comes even closer and whispers in your ear, "But you are the most delicious thing I've ever had the privilege to taste." He begins to kiss your neck, "So, thank you. Thank you so very much." He's kissing you all over very softly. The backs of his fingers brush lightly up your sides. He rests this hands on either side of your rib cage. He begins kissing your mouth again as his hands travel to your breasts to rub the pads of this thumbs over your nipples. More. You want more. He growls and purrs against your skin and it's enough to return feeling to your once useless limbs.

You roll on top of him, effectively reversing your positions. He gets a surprised look on his face but clearly doesn't want to take back control. "Take off your pants." He smiles like a wolf and slides the pants onto the floor. You grab his cock and slide your hand up and down it, to really feel him. He's hard as a rock, dripping pearly drops of precum. He needs to cum and you're going to give it to him. You readjust on still shaking legs to slowly take him inside you. He groans with each centimeter you push him in. He splits you open so perfectly that it almost makes you start crying again. You stretch and adjust to fit him into the hilt. He just feels so incredible and incredibly close to the finish. You want to tease him like he teased you. You decide to be withholding and slide terribly slowly up and down, grinding on him.

Each movement inside you elicits groans, and pants, and growls from Tommy. "Fuuuuuuck me. Ah, fuck. Ah, yes." You relent and start to up the speed, just slightly. He melts, "Fuck. I can't fucking... Fuckkkkkkkkk." His head is lolling from side to side. You stop just in the nick of time, warming his cock inside you. "Look at me, Tommy. Please?" He looks at you, well, he tries to keep his eyes on you. His eyelids flutter. He's breathless and you have all the power. "I want- I need you to cum inside me but I need you to look at me, please?" He groans and pants, "O, yes. Please. Please fuck me. Please."

His eyes are so soft, like the ice there has melted and is preparing for the first spring flowers to bloom. You begin the sprint to make him feel just as good as he made you feel. Tommy just feels so damn good, it makes you-

A loud banging at the door causes Tommy to throw you off of him completely, race for his coat, and grab the pistol in one of his pockets. He's still completely erect and dribbling but he's no longer drunk with lust. His eyes are hard and focused on the door. He looks back at you and silently directs you to ask who's there but a familiar voice calls out before you can do so. "It's just Arthur. Our Aunt Polly called a family meeting. Is Tom still here, love?" He sounds exasperated like he'd gone all through The Heath looking for Tommy, which he probably had, to be completely fair. Tommy puts the gun down on the vanity. Tension loosening his shoulders. "Yeah, Arthur. I'm here. Uh...-" Unannounced, Arthur Shelby opens the door and you cover yourself with the quilt as best you can. You wish the floor would open up and swallow you whole. Arthur sees you before he notices Tommy standing with his hands on his hips, naked as the day he was born and hard as ivory. "Ah, fuck! Sorry Tom- I... Sorry." Arthur stares furiously out the window, avoiding eye contact with either of you. Tommy turns back around and pulls his pants back on. He shoots you an apologetic look.

With that small amount of modesty, Tommy turns his brother so his back is facing you. "Arthur, Poll's called a meeting? When?" Arthur is clearly uncomfortable. "Uh... Well, Tom. She wants to meet now. I've been all over looking for you. Poll's having a cow." Tommy rubs at his chin and suddenly looks much older. "She'll wait a little longer. I need to make myself presentable to stand before the Queen of the Heath. Wait on the landing for us, eh, Arthur?" He practically pushes his brother out of the flat, bolting the door loudly behind him.

Tommy walks back to the bed and sits down, rubbing at his eyes and temples. "Us, Tommy?" He's silent, still sitting on the edge of the bed. You sit in the silence for a moment when he lets out a huge breath, gets up, and begins putting his clothes on. "Yes, love. Us." You step over to help him button his shirt and check his collar. "You and I are going to this family meeting." He pulls his trousers on. "Now, get dressed. Whatever you pick will be fine." He sits at the vanity to put his shoes on. You dutifully go to the bureau and grab the blue wool dress, stockings, and chemise. You can't be bothered with a girdle now though you might regret not having the extra layer. You step into both the chemise and dress. You sit on the far side of the bed from Tommy to put on your stockings. "But, you and I both know I'm not family. Why would I go to a Shelby family meeting?" He sighs and walks over to you, stands you up, and begins buttoning the front of the dress. "You're right. Poll won't want you in the meeting but I do. I think a little outside perspective might be good." He pauses, looking at you without giving anything away. He cradles your chin with his hand, "Or you can be silent. It doesn't matter to me." He gives you a short but meaningful kiss. "As soon as that fucking meeting ends, I'm going to fuck you through the closest bed I can find."

#peaky blinder fanfic #peaky fookin blinders #peaky blinders #peaky fucking blinders #thomas shelby #tommy shelby smut #smutty #smut tw #tommy x reader #tommy shelby

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alloftheimaginesblog · 2 years

Text

lose control {e.m}

Plot: At Eddie's one night, you smoke and things get heated when you decide to do a little strip tease for him.

Character: Eddie Munson x Plus Size Female Reader

Warnings: MDNI, drug use, smut, strip tease, unprotected sex, choking, breeding kink

part of my e.m ‘pretty eyes’ series

His hands worked to roll the joint as the music played softly from the cassette tape that Eddie had created specifically for you. The mixtape was one that consisted of songs he'd heard you singing, ones he thought you'd like and some that reminded him of you; it was a rather eclectic mix of a few different styles of songs clashing and melding together to make a rather great mixtape.

You remembered when Eddie had given it to you, you'd just about dissolved into tears straight away. He didn't really understand why you were so appreciative of it, he just thought it was a common thing to do for your girlfriend but you'd been so touched that he'd spent the time doing it for you and you made sure that he knew how thankful you were.

You smiled faintly at the memory.

"What's got you smiling, pretty eyes?"

His eyes lift up to you amused at seeing the small smile the pulls the corners of your lips upwards. You shrug, "I just love you, Eds." It was true; nothing had ever been truer. He was everything you could've ever wanted or needed rolled into a person and more.

He grinned. Since meeting you, Eddie felt like his heart had grown three sizes because just when he thought he couldn't be more in love with you, he fell a little harder. It scared him and excited him all simultaneously, "You're all soppy now without being high, I wonder what you'll be like when you are high," he teased making you laugh, "I love you too, Princess. Why the sudden soppiness?"

"No reason."

He finished rolling the joint before passing it to you, he always liked you to get the first hit, and when you'd put it between your lips, he lit it for you. You took a long drag of the joint, holding it for a few seconds, before slowly releasing the smoke in a long puff of air. You took a second hit before passing it to Eddie who was just grinning at you. That's all he ever seemed to do; grin and be in total and complete awe of you.

"You're staring, Munson," you chided playfully making Eddie laugh.

"Can't help it when you're so damn pretty." Comments like that, which Eddie would throw around every so often, set a fire deep in the pit of your stomach, making heat pool between your legs. He didn't realise how hot and bothered it got you when he complimented you so casually but my god, it drove you wild.

It was as Eddie was taking a few puffs from the joint that you started to feel the effects. Everything started to feel fuzzy around the edges as you sunk back into the dining chair you sat in, smiling. He gave it back to you and you had another few hits before he took a final before stubbing it out on the ashtray next to the couch.

Eddie, who sat on the couch, watched you as he puffed out his smoke and in front of you, you could see the atmosphere shifting. You saw how his eyes darkened as he looked at you, looked at the low cut t-shirt you wore to your exposed thighs from your skirt riding up then back to your eyes.

You sucked in a deep breath. Fuck. You loved the way he looked at you, admiring every curve and every groove of your body. You never felt ashamed in front of Eddie anymore. At first, you would hide your body but now, now you'd gladly show it off to him. You were able to turn Eddie on so quickly, make him rock hard in seconds without even touching him, and that was a skill in your book. Eddie made you feel confident through praise and compliments and just in general making you feel as though you didn't ever need to be self-conscious in front of him. He loved you even when you looked a mess, greasy hair, stained t-shirt and unshowered; he still found you to be the most attractive. He loved your curves, your stomach, thighs and hips. He loved your boobs, they were a perfect handful for him. He loved the way your ass and thighs jiggled as he thrust into you. He loved kissing your stretchmarks... Everything about you was sexy to Eddie.

Maybe it was the way he looked at you, maybe it was the effects of the weed or maybe it was just the confidence he'd instilled into you within the last few months but you decided that you'd give him a little show.

So as Talk Dirty To Me by Poison played from the cassette tape, you stood up. Eddie's eyes never left you, watching you curiously, waiting for your next move. Smiling at him, you began to sway to the music, nothing mind blowing, but you wiggled your hips, bending your knees to crouch low before standing up, purposefully sticking your ass out as you stood.

Eddie's jaw dropped and he shifted on the couch. He blinked a few times as if to say 'is this really happening?'.

Your hands played with your t-shirt, untucking it slowly from the tennis skirt you wore, and slowly lifting it, teasing him with snippets of your soft skin. Eddie's breathing had quickened, you could hear him, and... you could see him; a bulge in his grey jeans. You loved how easy you could turn him on. Your grin widened as you swayed from side to side before pulling off your t-shirt, tossing it to the floor. You weren't shy that he could see the rolls on your sides and your wobbly arms; you knew that he loved it.

"Fucking Ozzy," Eddie groaned head falling back to stare up at the ceiling of the trailer for a second before his eyes were straight back on you as he anticipated your next move. The way he looked at you made heat rush to your sex.

You turned to face away from him and your hands pulled up your skirt a little so you could hook your fingers round the band of your panties before you slowly pulled them to your knees before letting them drop on the floor. He groaned again, cock twitching in his jeans. He was too desperate, too damn needy and he needed to feel something so when you heard shuffling and the zip of his jeans come down, you smirked.

Eddie pulled his jeans and boxers down just enough to let his thick cock loose. It stood straight up, rock hard and red with precum oozing from the head, already desperate to cum. He spat into his hand before he began to palm his large erection, groaning loudly at the contact.

"You're gonna be the death of me, Princess," he murmured, lips parted and frowning as he let himself get carried away with his hand.

Your hands slipped behind your back, going for the clips of your bra before unhooking it and slipping it off. Eddie gnawed on his bottom lip, desperate to get his hands on you but wanting to watch the ending of your show. Slowly, you bent over giving him a fantastic view of your ass causing a long guttural groan to come from him before you stepped out of your panties and picked them up. You straightened, back still turned, as your hands moved to cover your chest and you turned back to face him. His cheeks were flushed as he furiously jerked his cock at the sight of you. He'd never had you like this before, never had you so confident and free.

"Please," he whined, "I want to see you." He knew he sounded pathetic, begging to see you, but he didn't care. He needed you in this moment and you weren't going as fast as he would've liked.

Usually Eddie was the dominant one but my god, the sight of him jerking for you, so desperate to see you, so tormented already after only getting to look at your body, it made you want to do this more. You smirked before tossing your panties to Eddie to grabbed them with his free hand and didn't hesitate to press them against his nose, smelling the slightly damp material deeply.

"You smell so fucking good, already wet for me, Princess..." he hissed, taking another breath of them before he realised you'd taken your hands from covering your chest and instead you were in front of him, playing with your erect nipples, "Fucking Christ. Oh baby."

You knew that he wouldn't last much longer and you knew that you wanted to feel him before he inevitably came so you sauntered over to him, wiggling your hips with every step before you moved onto the couch to straddle him. You kept the skirt on; Eddie loved to fuck you while you wore a skirt or a dress. Eddie eyes were black with lust as he quickly pulled you to him, capturing one of your nipples in his mouth, enjoying the way your back arched under his palm and the way you moaned.

He took his cock and pressed it against your hot, wet cunt, rubbing it against you getting it slick and sticky, "Fuck," he breathed out, feeling how wet you were for him, "Ready, Princess?"

You decided to continue being in control a little and you pushed your hips downwards, taking Eddie's cock inside you and filling you to the hilt with his cock until you reached his balls. You moaned loudly, loving how hard and thick his was, as Eddie let out a stream of curse words, head rolling onto the back of the couch.

As you began to move, grinding down onto him, his body shuddered and shook as he tried so hard to not cum then and there, "Are you already going to cum for me, Eds?" You asked, voice breathy as you enjoyed the sight of him, "You're too needy," your lips trailed kisses over his jaw, "too desperate for me."

Eddie clenched his jaw, you could feel the muscle feathering under your lips, "Not- Not yet," he said between grit teeth and honestly, he didn't know if he'd last that long but he was going to try. Surely he couldn't cum within seconds. He wouldn't that would be embarassing; pathetic but my god, he was pathetic, he was needy and all he wanted to do was explode into you, filling you with his cum, claiming you as his and only his.

He grabbed your ass as you bounced on his cock, fast and hard, as you moaned loudly ignoring the burning in your thighs. It was complete overstimulation for the two of you, the weed making everything heightened and fuzzy, and you could hear that he was holding on so hard to try and not cum. You leaned back down to kiss his jaw and whisper in his ear, "You're so desperate to cum, aren't you Eds? Admit it... Admit it and I'll let you cum-"

"I- I'm not." He was trying to prove a point but he was failing. He was thrusting into you as you bounced and holy shit, he was so close with every thrust, every moan, every word almost sent him spilling over the edge to oblivion.

"Admit it and I'll let you cum inside me," you whispered, moaning into his ear as he fucked you good, "That's what you've wanted, isn't it? You want to fuck me good and cum inside me, making me all yours-" he groaned loudly yelling out another string of curse words, "Make me yours, Eds."

Deciding that he needed to get you off first, his ego wouldn't allow him to cum before you so he moved one of his hands from your ass to the front of you, groping your tits, your jiggling stomach and then finally it found its resting place on your clit.

Immediately, your body convulsed and twisted as he rubbed on the sensitive bud fast and hard with the pad of his thumb, "Good girl," he hissed, loving the way your body curved and moved as he touched you, "Cum for me, Princess." Your legs and muscles burned but you continued, too focused on his cock and the orgasm that was creeping up on you.

"I-I'm so close-" you were mere seconds away from hitting your high as the coil wound up tightly in your stomach, pulling and pulling until Eddie's other hand wrapped around your neck, squeezing. You gasped, he knew how much you loved wearing his hand as a necklace.

"Look at me," he demanded, "let me see those pretty eyes as you cum around my cock."

You tilted your head forwards to look at him, eyelids fluttering from the intense waves of pleasure. You'd never felt this good, not with anyone before and not with anyone afterwards. He was incredible, knowing exactly how to please you and he could do it fast (though most of the time he liked to tease you and drag it out). Just the sight of your eyes, struggling to focus on him, as you tumbled into the depths of pleasure was enough to tumble him over the edge too. Your eyes rolled back and watered as you reached your high, grinding and convulsing on his dick, all rhythm lost, as you rode out your high.

"Lose control for me, Eds," you whispered, lips peppering kisses on his neck as you came down from your orgasm, "Cum for me; make me yours."

Eddie's thrusts were sloppy, squeezing your neck a little harder, pushing into your warmth hard and fast, he could feel your walls tensing and squeezing around him before he exploded inside of you with a loud groan of pleasure. He shuddered and stilled as you fell against him, panting and trembling as you fell from your highs, "Fuck- shit- yes Princess!"

The pair of you stayed like that for a moment, getting your breath back before you slowly raised yourself off of Eddie's cock. It slipped out of you, cum dribbling down it as you fell onto the couch beside him.

"That-" he said, still panted, "was the single hottest thing I've ever seen. Do that all the fucking time." You grinned at him, cheeks burning, you couldn't believe you'd just done it either but you loved it. You loved his reactions, loved how quick he lost control, "Let's go get cleaned up, Princess."

He tugged you upwards, pocketing your panties, "These are mine now, by the way. When you're not here I will be furiously masturbating with them, thank you." He wasn't even joking. You rolled your eyes laughing, the effects of the weed beginning to wear off slightly, as you let him lead you to the shower.

The shower was cramped, it was a small trailer after all yet Eddie still insisted on squeezing in with you, rubbing up against you, enjoying the way the water made you slippery and warm. You giggled as you watched him grab the soap, bubbling it in his hands first before he began to rub his soapy hands over you. Eddie loved to touch you, loved the way you felt, loved how soft you were, how warm you were; it wasn't always sexual for him, he just liked to know you were there, liked having a physical reminder that you were next to him. You loved the way he touched your curves, gentle and loving, never once making you feel too big or unwanted. You loved it.

He helped you wash yourself (letting you do your intimate parts, not wanting to overstimulate you). Though he was being careful he ended up splashing the rest of the bathroom's floor since with the pair of you in the shower, the shower door wouldn't shut. Once you were satisfied and clean, you grabbed the soap and lathered him up, he'd already gotten a load of soap on him from rubbing up against you so you managed to get him clean pretty quick.

Neither of you spoke as you showered, you giggled and smiled at one another, but didn't really speak. There was no need to. You could just enjoy the moment for what it was; a lovely little intimate snippet of your life with Eddie Munson. It was only when you were both finished that Eddie pulled you to him after shutting the water off, he pressed your body against his, "I love you, my pretty eyed Princess."

You grinned up at him, "I love you too, Eds. So much." He pressed a sweet kiss to the corner of your mouth before pulling back and letting you leave the shower, thanking you as you passed a towel to him.

You had a small supply of clothes in Eddie's trailer already, some pyjamas and things for sleeping over, so you grabbed a fresh pair and got changed before diving under the covers to snuggle up. Eddie walked into the bedroom a couple of minutes later with just his boxers on. He flicked the light off before joining you in bed, wrapping you up tightly in his arms. He loved to cuddle you, loved filling his arms with you; loved the feeling of you all safe and snug next to him.

It was barely 10pm and if anyone knew Eddie Munson they knew that he wouldn't sleep until well after midnight however, you must've tired him out with all of the excitement because a little past the five minute mark, Eddie was snoring quietly into your ear. You smiled as you heard him before pushing yourself further into his body and falling asleep with him.

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seasealwaters · 1 year

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It's just rude how I have yet to see a Now You See Me! Six of Crows AU.

NO BUT WAIT, WAIT. Bear with me. The Crows as illusionists and magicians brought together to create elaborate performances that may or may not be a way to extract revenge on a few people (Jan, Heleen, and Pekka, we're looking at you) and steal a lot of money in the process. The group could be either formed by Kaz himself, or like in the movie, they're brought together by a mysterious individual for a job (in this, it could be Jan to commit the equivalent of the Ice Court Heist, until the Crows turn back on him).

Like. Imagine. Kaz would definitely be an amazing escape artist and the master mind of the operations. He would have the best sleight of hand ever. With his flair for dramatics, I think he would also be a great performer, and have a whole "character" for the show: you know, Dirtyhands, with his all black clothes, raspy voice, dry wit, slight smirk, scary monologues and taunts. He's not even pretending, really, but it works really well on stage, and the public loves it, loves when he's taunting them, and legit creeping them out.

Inej would be into the escape thing as well, and she would love the tricks where she vanishes and then apparates in a different corner of the room, or just behind someone in the audience (they wouldn't even notice until one the Crows points it out or Inej taps them on the shoulder. The number of times they almost had to call an ambulance because she legit gives them heart attacks). I feel like she would also be a contortionist who's able to fit in small boxes and cupboards, to the point where you start to ask yourself if she even has bones. She would incorporate acrobatics in her performances.

Jesper would love flashy tricks with cards, coins, and so on. I know that sleight of hand is more Kaz's thing in the book, but I feel like it would suit him well, too. Kind of like the Jack Wilder of the group. He would do tricks with guns, bullets and shooting, of course. Also, I feel like he would be the one the Crows rely on to distract the crowd, to catch, hold, and redirect their attention where it's needed. Kaz is good at that, too, but Jesper is really the one who can put them at ease and charm them (especially if it's a single person or a few they call on stage).

Wylan would handle technical aspects: light, flash bombs, smoke bombs, fireworks, visual and sound effects, music and sound, material, etc. I think he would know exactly what type of soundtrack and light to choose to create maximum effect and efficiently hold/distract the crowd's attention. I don't see him as a main performer, but I think there would be one memorable occasion where he would "blow himself up" or set fire to himself on stage and then reapparate, completely fine. It remains one of the Crows' most watched performances.

Nina would definitely be the Merritt McKinney of the group. She would be all about hypnosis and mentalism, and I know that real-life hypnotism doesn't work like it's portrayed in the movie, but let's just pretend. With her knowledge of anatomy and medicine (she could be an ex med student or nurse), she would know exactly how to use the human body, mind, and blood flow to her advantage – it would be a nice parallel to her canon powers. She knows how to gather information from her targets, is amazing at subtle interrogation, and she, too, would be very good at charming the crowd (her and Jesper as a the sexiest bi duo ever). Also, I think she would fight tooth and nail to incorporate a dramatic quick change sequence on stage. ("Nina, we don't need that." "Shut up, Kaz, you don't understand, I have been waiting my entire LIFE for this moment").

I admit, I have trouble deciding what Matthias would do in this universe. Like Wylan, I don't see him as a main performer, I think he would remain more in the shadows and act as an assistant to the others (catching Inej, helping Nina change, setting Wylan's material, etc.). If the Crows need animals for their show, he's definitely the one to take care of them. However, in the books, he is our guys' main source of information on the Ice Court, and I feel like in a modern au, he would parallel this: he would be the one tasked with research on the Mark, digging up everything about them, their background, family, habits, the lay outs of a place the Crows intend to rob, etc.

Or alternatively: Matthias is their inside man in the FBI. This would work even better, I think. So yes, he's the Dylan Rhodes of the AU, minus the revenge.

Feel free to add anything if you have other ideas!

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yakuzacanons · 9 months

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Please, more Majima content 😭 I want some age gap headcanons where the reader is 22 and he's 42, making people around them question why the young lady is with a man twice her age. Maybe they're walking together in public and Majima overhears some judgemental and nasty comments made about him and the reader comforts him through it because he gets uncomfortable and self-conscious 🥺

Ahhhh I love this, as someone in a similar age range in comparison to Majima and him being my absolute favorite, this idea makes my brain go brrrrr in the best way. Thank you sweet anon, headcanon is under the cut, hope you like it! It's a long one so I apologize in advance but I had so much fun making it hehe.

Majima will honestly never understand why you picked him. He'll always be asking himself how he got so lucky. At the same time he'll also wonder if he really deserves it. He will try not to let it bother him but it's always something in the back of his mind.

The most common comments are things like "Isn't he a little too old for her?" or "What's she doing with a man like that?". You get some weird glances from strangers. This makes Majima tighten his grip around your hand or around your waist, an obvious tell that he's trying not to let it get to him.

He will try to not engage in physical violence as a response because he knows that's not the solution and he doesn't want you to see him as just some violent beast. Instead, he'll spit out some retort before grabbing your hand and briskly walking away, clearly still upset.

He will try to not bring it up to you whenever he feels this way. Majima already feels that he's a bit of a burden in more ways than one: his age, his job, even the fact that he's missing an eye feels burdensome in his mind. How could someone ever love a man like this? Secretly, he worries that all these factors will drive you away one day so he doesn't want to add fuel to that fire by bringing you down with how he feels about the age gap.

Eventually, his feelings will boil over. You'll find him looking dejected, probably smoking out the window, unable to sleep. If you ask what's going on, he'll immediately know that you know and that's when he'll break.

Majima won't necessarily cry, but he'll sigh deeply and say something like "I just want ya to be happy. Sometimes I wonder if I can give ya the happiness ya deserve. Maybe I'm just bein' selfish... keeping ya all to myself." He'll turn to hide his face in embarrassment, ashamed of how he feels.

Once he feels your arms wrap around him, holding him tight with your face pressed against his back, his heart will just melt. It's true, he does think he's being selfish. Sometimes he wonders if everyone else is right and if you'd be better off with someone younger, someone your age. But damn if it didn't feel good to have you right there next to him. In that exact moment, his worries just wash away. He feels like he can do anything, be anyone. That's just the effect you have on him. Your presence alone makes him feel like a man reborn.

He'll close his eyes and exhale before putting out his cigarette and turning around to face you. Regardless of how you choose to console him, he'll still ask if you're sure this is what you want. Secretly, Majima yearns the most to be wanted and loved. Once reassured he'll just pull you in and hold you tightly, so close to him that it's almost suffocating.

The truth is Majima can't stand the thought of letting you go. The Mad Dog has been so independent by necessity for so long that he's terrified of letting that guard down, letting anyone in, needing anyone at all. You changed that and it feels so good that he's scared to lose it, scared to lose you. Your tender reassurance calms him, it puts the Mad Dog to sleep, and for once, Majima feels like he can breathe deeply and fully.

All those years ago, Majima swore he'd live his life for him, do things his way. When you came into his life, it was the first time since Makoto that he felt he really had something to lose. That's when the thoughts of other people started to get to him. Truthfully, you love his fearlessness the most. You admire his boldness, his loyalty, how he never stands down, the way he tries everything once and does anything for those he loves. You'll remind him of this, reminding him that it doesn't matter what anyone thinks. Age gap or no age gap, you're his and he's yours.

#majima megaphone moment #goro majima #majima goro #yakuza #yakuza headcanons #yakuza imagines #ryu ga gotoku #ryu ga gotoku headcanons #ryu ga gotoku imagines #ahh this one was long but I had so much fun hope you like it anon!

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dieanywhereelseart · 1 year

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I’ve been drawing with dip pens lately so I did a nib study using my ghost trick redesigns.

for anyone that’s interested here’s some notes on the nibs under the cut.

Leonardt 33 - Easily the one of the most flexible pen nibs I have. Technically this is designed for calligraphy, specifically spencerian, so the sideways movement isn’t great and there’s little control when doing hatching. Really dramatic swoops with high pressure that aren’t entirely appropriate for character portraits but I kinda dig what it did to Sissel’s hair. Will probably use it for special effects like fire and smoke and stuff.

Leondardt 33 - This one is actually intended for drawing so naturally it has a fairly consistent line weight with a low flex. The hatching marks are kinda scratchy but not in a bad way. Would probably work really well for continuous contour and styles of lineart that are more sketchy, loose, and dynamic than my normal character art style. Would prob use for larger pieces or figures closer to the camera cause the line weight is generally a bit too thick for the usual size I work with.

Tachikawa G - This is a nib made for drawing manga specifically and it’s really easy to use for drawing. Some of the calligraphy nibs really take some thought and careful motor control to look good but this one was forgiving. I see myself using this a lot for really casual art. It was kinda hard to do hatching or filling with this one tho, which was kinda surprising. Very gentle line variance, makes really clear shapes. You can see in the other characters than too high flexibility can make it hard for the brain to turn lines into form so this really mellows it out. Prob best to use this nib to block out the lineart then hatch/fill/detail with others.

Hunt 102 - this is a speedball job made for mapping and oh my god do I love this nib. It’s just so 👌👌👌 on the details??? the line variance perfectly matches the brushes I use on photoshop and it’s just. mwah. it holds onto literally so much ink despite being so tiny. interestingly hatching is unstable but two or three lines together seem to be just fine. Kinda sad that jowd’s hair is a little hard to focus on cause of the variance but with a little practice I can prob find ways around that cause I already know I’m gonna love using this nib for heads and faces. Filling is a bit patchy but otherwise I think this is gonna be my go-to detail nib. (also no jowd isn’t in overalls that’s supposed to be an art apron but with only like the top portion showing it’s hard to tell.)

Hunt 108 - ok this is Supposed to be a drawing nib as well as a calligraphy nib and it does mimic brush strokes but I’m pretty heavy handed so it’s hard Not to make those super thick lines. Not bad with details and has enough control to make thickening up the outline super easy, but really easy to mess up. This nib did Cabanela dirty by flexing a bit too much when I was doing his mouth so I had to correct it with a white pen. Spreads the ink too thin in areas for solid filling. I can see this working really well with mixed media, like with watercolor, and once I get some more colored ink I’ll use it for coloring.

Hunt 100 - idiot stupid rat bastard of a pen nib. ok the art looks fine right? can’t be that bad, right? it took me so long to make that because the ink just. wouldn’t come out. so this nib is another mapping nib and it’s super delicate so it breaks really easily. I broke my first one bc I’m heavy handed, so I ordered another like ‘ok I’ll be more careful with this one’. it broke again. I don’t even know how. Ideally I’d use it for small spaces or reeeally fine details but I can’t even get it to work long enough to try. speedball can meet me in the pits.

Hunt 512 - A calligraphy nib that’s actually really easygoing to draw with. There’s not much line variance, so the hairlines have a lot of control. Makes for really good hatching. Also does really great long, thin lines. Sideways movement is kinda meh but it does the job. Definitely the cleanest looking of all them, tho the lack of variance makes it a bit boring to look at. Gonna use this one for shading and textures or for drawing on really rough paper.

Hunt 99 - like the first nib this one is really dramatic, and it’s supposed to be a calligraphy nib, but it has a lot more weight control than the hunt 108. Also the fine lines are easier to control. A lot of ink comes out so it might not be great on paper with risk of bleeding, and it takes a while to dry compared to others, but it would be good for filling since it can cover a large opaque space while having good control over the shape and points. Could also use for different warping/texture techniques.

Other notes:

I used smooth illustration Bristol for the paper, since ink looks more vibrant and swooshy on it and also some of these nibs can Only be used on smooth paper.

Also used terracotta India ink, which is kinda on the thick end but still looks good. matches with the colored lineart in Ghost Trick lol

got all of my pen nibs from Paper & Ink Arts cause u can order a nib for like less than a dollar fifty each. You can also get paper, nib holders, and ink for a good price too.

if u wanna start with dip pens PLEASE prepare your nibs before drawing. stick them in a potato for like 10 minutes. please trust me on this you will have a bad time otherwise.

ok thanks for reading through my Very Indulgent experiment.

#ghost trick #my art #idk maybe this is a bit unconventional for fanart #but I think a lot of ppl only ever post super polished art and not the experimental stuff #which gives ppl who want to start drawing the idea that every drawing has to be a finished one #and that everything you post has to get likes #sometimes art is about the journey #. . . ok my cat just died so maybe I’m being all maudlin and philosophical to cope but still #this is also here cause I could find jack shit useful reviews for pen nibs #so Hopefully this can help ppl that want to try dip pens but don’t know how #feel free to reblog if you want to reference or share the info on nibs lol #character design #traditional art #nib review

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kenziejones16789 · 1 year

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Inferno

note: okay so this story did not turn out the way I hoped and I didn’t know how to end it because I really feel like azriels trama needed to be addressed better and after the fact and I was planning on making a bit more angst at the end but I’m not sure how I want to write it so I might post a better version later .

Azriel couldn’t stand fire, it may have been an irrational fear to anyone else but it always brought him back to the darkest days of his childhood, he would always be the one sitting farthest away from the fire out of range of the warmth and the danger, it was not a thing he ever thought he would come to terms with i fact up until a few years ago the small apartment he called home had never had a fire lit in it but then you came into the picture and he would do anything to make you happy including let you light a fire in the hearth so that you could curl up next to it with your book, there was still fear but you made it better you made everything better, my mate, my love, my saviour.

It was a cold day when it happened Azriel and you walked hand in hand through velaris enjoying the cold fresh air and the bustle of people rushing from the warmth of one shop to the next, azriel couldn’t help but admire the way your cheeks flushed red with the cold and he was beyond happy that it had you slowly inching closer and closer to him he couldn’t wipe the smug smile of his face because you where his and you wanted him and you here happy and everything was perfect.

And then the screaming started and it only took one glance between the two of you before you started running towards the horrific sounds, he smelled the problem before you even reached it the acrid smell of smoke pushed it’s way down his throat slowly suffocating him he hadn’t realized you had kept running he was frozen to his spot flashes of his past holding him down all his muscles where locked and then all of a sudden you where there your voice in his head telling him it was okay, when azriel snapped out of his trance he realized you weren’t beside him at all which could only have kept running and he bolted seeing the destruction the fire had cause was worse than he imagined there where two buildings caught in the inferno and no matter how hard he search he couldn’t find you in the crowd and then when it was too late he saw you run into the building.

Azriel couldn’t breathe he tried to follow you but his knees gave out, he couldn’t breathe, he couldn’t breathe, he needed to help you but all he could do was hyperventilate and call your name over and over the panic was blinding he was living his nightmares he had to wake up he had to help you, you needed his help, he couldn’t breathe, he didn’t pay attention when someone put a hand on his back, he didn’t hear the words they told him, he couldn’t breathe and then the building collapsed.

Azriel was sobbing he still couldn’t breathe and he didn’t want to he wanted you he was still crying when someone knelt in front of him and took his face in there soft familiar hand stroking his cheeks “Az, hey it’s okay, look at me please darling you are okay” slowly he looked up and when he saw your beautiful y/e/c eyes he started crying again and pulled you into his arms holding you tighter then he ever had “you can’t do that” he sobbed “you could’ve died, I can’t loss you, I can’t.” You stroked his dark hair “someone needed my help Azriel, i had to help them” he was shaking when he nodded, he knew the sacrifices because he had made one similar all of our family had it was a side effect of being in the inner circle and he didn’t realize how much he hated the obligation until today until he nearly lost you.

#azriel x reader #azriel fanfic #azriel shadowsinger #acotar #azriel acotar #reader x azriel

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gasha40k · 10 months

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The last post was supposed to be a lot longer, but it got cut off because Tumblr is made of rocks. I’ve got a bit more to share, starting with a little bit of progress on World Eaters.

Finally got my hands on this guy again. I only need two more models to finish my World Eaters character collection: Azrakh the Annihilator and Angron. I also saved the Juggernaut body from my first Invocatus so soon I’ll have a Lord on Juggernaut as well

The fluff behind Lord Invocatus is so excessively metal that I can’t help but love it. The mental image of Avocado here galloping across the sky on a bridge of smoke and flame is one of the most raw things I think I am capable of imaging. That being said, the model is, like, very disappointingly not on fire, even if it’s still a banger model. I felt that this was a horribly missed opportunity, so I went about and built a reposed Invocatus with an added 3D fire effect from Deadly Print Studios to represent the bridge of flames. I’m really happy with this! Not only does the repose make him look larger and more ferocious, but the fire makes him look like the centerpiece that he should be, and the visual of him and his Juggernaut leaping over a plume of flame is sure to strike fear into the hearts of whoever I field him against. Or he’ll be the biggest target on the board because of his posing, and he’ll get shot and killed immediately. We’ll find out!

In the time since my last post, I’ve also come into possession of a few new neat 3D printed models for some little projects of mine, courtesy of an Ork-playing friend. This guy here is Tyrant Siege Terminator from the Iron Warriors Legion, the Chaos Legion that my Thunderbearers claim their heritage from (not that they’d know this, though).

Making that objective marker from a few posts ago was really fun, so I made some more ideas for custom ones to use with my factions. While I don’t exactly have a plan of action regarding this guy here, I do know that I’m going to turn him into some kind of relic recovery marker. A supremely apocryphal Chapter artifact of the highest sanctity, for the eyes of the most elite Thunderbearers only. An echo from a forgotten past, a powerless demigod from a lost era, frozen in time and waiting for 10,000 years. This’ll eventually be painted in Thunderbearers regalia and draped with either creeping vines and wild overgrowth, or dust, cobwebs, and rubble. Despite its heraldry, however, this ancient armor is still noticeably a Terminator pattern utilized almost exclusively by the Iron Warriors Traitor Legion. This implies that whichever venerable forebear originally adorned this armor would’ve either been a Battle-Brother of the Chapter’s earliest shrouded histories, or a later Astartes of such grand renown that he inherited what would’ve undoubtedly been one of the Chapter’s most valuable artifacts. Regardless, it’s a neat looking piece and not something that people will glean from first glance. It’s like a little Chapter Easter egg basically for me only, and that’s cool cuz it’s my army. <3

This beefy boy will be the subject of another objective marker. After a page describing each of the Chaos Gods, 9th Edition’s Codex: Chaos Daemons includes a two-page spread detailing anecdotes about various Daemon Worlds and how exactly they’d fallen to the Gods. The above excerpt from the Khornate incursion on a Daemon World named Tartora struck me as particularly visually poignant, so this boisterous Ork is gonna get turned into a statue of brass and bone. I’ll decorate his base with various skulls and lots and lots of blood. Maybe fire, too. I think a sort of glowing red vein effect on the base might be pretty cool. I’ll use him primarily with my World Eaters. Combined with a classic skull tower that I’m gonna make at some point, that means I’ll have two objective markers for both of my armies.

Moving on, I’ve been painting my dudes in what I believe to be their final color scheme for a good long while now. I’ve even started putting transfers on some of them as of a couple loads ago. That being said, I noticed that my most up-to-date heraldry sheet was kind of total garbage, and it didn’t represent the current look of the army whatsoever. This new heraldry sheet will be my (almost) final one; the colors are all correct, the helmets are all correct, and the Chapter icon has been edited and finalized. I may change the symbol signifying Chapter Honor Guard to be a set of tilted black stripes, sorts like hazard stripes but with the yellow replaced by Wraithbone. This could be another subtle nod to the Iron Warriors heritage as black stripes are a very common pattern, which means it could rationally be either an ambiguous heraldry of visually pleasing design, or iconography from culture that’s evolved slowly over the course of 10,000 years.

On the gameplay front, I recently played my first and likely final game of Strike Force in 9th with my brother. To send out 9th and usher in 10th, the Thunderbearers and Cobalt Lancers got together again for a good old fashioned “full-scale combat simulation.” They definitely used tracer rounds or something.

Most of my games are pretty standard but this one was great fun. We had very similar army compositions, with differences only in some key areas, like armor and HQ choice. The plan for us both was to forward deploy Infiltrator squads to hunker down on objectives, since we both took our Chapter-specific action secondaries. The mission we rolled, however, had better plans, and disabled setup rules in No Man’s Land, effectively making the Phobos forward deploy completely useless. It was a really even game, likely my favorite I’ve played so far, and I realize now after playing it that 2000pts is definitely the way that 40k is meant to be played. There were a lot of cool moments, too, and I think that was mostly facilitated by the higher point limit.

A Redemptor, an Aggressor Squad, an Eversor Assassin, and a Primaris Techmarine walk into a bar.

One of those cool moments was a chain of events that I’ll remember for a good long while. After my Predator las-sniped an enemy Redemptor, my own Redemptor stomped up to join two Space Marine columns locked in combat. After some intense combat, the Dreadnought was felled, surprisingly setting of an explosion, dealing mortals to literally everyone in the circle. The Techmarine takes the opportunity to kill the Eversor after this, who then explodes, killing the Techmarine. Earlier in the game, an Impulsor had exploded, and if I recall correctly, Big Harold exploded, bringing the game’s total explosion count to around 4 or 5. Fun!

My brother beat me on objectives, 26-40. He played his primaries far better than I did, and I was far too focused on killing his scary shit to properly run my secondaries. While I took out his Repulsor—the centerpiece of any good Cobalt Lancers army—during the game’s first BR, which significantly lessened his firepower and freed me up to move, aggressive pushes with his Impulsor and excellent positioning of his squads kept me at bay and I lost the inevitable Astartes vs. Astartes battle of attrition.

I hope that I can play some more 2000pts games here soon. I got my hands on a copy of the new Core Rulebook, so I’ll be hopefully be dipping my toes into the future of the 42nd millennium here soon. I’ve got some friends who wanna get back into the game with 10th, so I’ll be getting a couple Combat Patrol games in as well. Maybe Calthradia will follow into 10th, but the Crusade has been on hold for months now and I’m undergoing some significant life changes at the moment, so I doubt I’ll be making much consistent progress for a while.

#warhammer 40k #miniatures #building #battle report #adeptus astartes #chaos #thunderbearers #world eaters

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