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slutforsjy · 2 months

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“Can I be Layla’s Mom?”

Synopsis: You made Jake mad (?) and uncomfortable with your banner, so he invited you backstage to talk about it 😇

Genre: SMUT!

Pairing: Idol!Jake X Engene Fem!Reader

Warnings: Making out, blowjob, deepthroating, cum eating, spit kink, grinding, almost sex, pervert jake, nasty jake, dom jake, PURE FILTH!

Word Count: 3k +

a/n this is my first time writing pls bare with me 😭 also eng is not my first language so….rb and comment if you enjoy it 🥰

You and your friend, swept up in the pulsating energy of the crowd, singing along with your favorite group, etching memories that will forever linger in your mind. The venue is a kaleidoscope of colors and sounds, with flashing lights illuminating the stage and electrifying the atmosphere.

Attending a concert had always been a dream, lured by the promise of electrifying vibes, enchanting ambiance, and the palpable connection with the performers, especially your favorite, Jake.

There were so many banners and signs around for enhypen to read and yours were the one that caught the attention of the members.

It says….

“JAKE! CAN I BE LAYLA’S MOM?” with a picture of him and Layla that he posted on twitter.

For the rest of the members they thought it was funny, but for Jake, it sparked a different reaction. The moment he saw you waving that banner, it was at first funny to him at least, until his gaze traveled from your face down to your tight ass dress pushing your breast out a little bit, his reaction shifted.

You tried to catch his attention more as you started jumping, shouting, singing, and dancing not knowing how your boobs wiggle in front of him. His jaw clenched at the sight and you didn’t miss the way he licked his lips. Of course, your fans around you went crazy duh 🙄 but for you? you can’t seem to read what was that expression.

As the concert drew to a close, with each member delivering their heartfelt messages to the crowd, your eyes remained fixated on Jake. When he finished speaking, you seized the opportunity to capture his attention once more, by showing him your banner. However, instead of amusement, you sensed a flicker of irritation in his demeanor. You saw him cock his head looking annoyed by your actions as he diverted his gaze over to the other side of the stage and started waving at the fans instead.

You got worried, fearing that your playful gesture may have crossed a line and maybe it’s not an inappropriate banner for you to show him in the first place. But you just shrugged it off as you put your banner inside your bag and just enjoy the rest of the concert.

Everything inside the venue happens so quickly, and clearly, you don’t want to go home especially that your bias is mad at you. During their encore, you never miss a time when jake steals a look from you. He would look at you with a sharp eyes and then look at somewhere else when you catch him looking directly at you.

At this point you are so worried maybe because you truly made him uncomfortable with that stupid banner.

You’re so stupid!

Consumed by guilt and disappointment, you didn’t enjoy the rest of the concert. You really feel like crying, wanting to apologize to Jake which makes it worse as the thought of never meeting him again hits you and you’re never gonna have a chance to tell him that you’re sorry.

Once they bid their final goodbye, a wave of melancholy washed over you watching how the stage slowly closes hiding the seven most precious human beings for you.

“Bitch what was going on with you and jake?” you were jolted by your friend’s sudden question

See? Your friend noticed it too!

“Right? I really don’t know what I did wrong” you screamed, the weight of uncertainty pressing upon you.

“Dude he stares at you like he’s going to kill you” she says jokingly, attempting to lighten the mood.

“Damn! maybe i made him uncomfortable with my banner” your friend nodded noting how you didn’t use your banner at the latter part of the concert.

For the record, it wasn’t your intention to make anyone uncomfortable especially Jake, you made it for fun! even you friends and the other members find it funny. How is it not funny for Jake too!

As the crowd dispersed, your friends lingered for a final photo, offering a brief distraction from your swirling thoughts. Lost in the digital snapshots of the evening, you were startled by an unexpected interruption.

“Excuse me” he says tapping your shoulder.

You thought it was another engene asking you to take a photo of them but to your surprise you saw what is written in his shirt.

‘STAFF’

“Uhm sorry we’re actually done taking photo, we’ll head out quickly after this” you smiled at him.

You are about the go out of the venue when he calls you again.

“Uhm actually someone wants to see you…… at the backstage” You are so shocked and confused.

“W-what? Why?” your asked nervously

“Just go there, he just wants to talk to you” he then walked away shooting you a smile afterwards

“He?” both of you exclaimed

“Girl what the fuck is goin~?!” you cut your friend off and went immediately to follow the staff

You left your friend there and just shouted to her to just meet you at the hotel.

You’re so nervous walking towards the staff in front of you as he pointed at the door telling you to go inside.

Stopping in front of the door, heart racing, thinking if you should go inside or not.

Just by looking at the door, you think it is a storage room or whatever. You spent few minutes guessing what or WHO could be inside this room.

Once you got the courage to open the door, you were so shocked from what you see.

There you saw Jake,

manspreading, both arms on the head rest of the couch, staring at you with a smirk on his face, eyeing you up and down while licking his lips.

Wearing his soundcheck outfit earlier!

Your knees started trembling, seeing those gaze he gave you earlier at the stage as you nervously averted your gaze to look around the small room.

But this isn’t the time to be nervous, and so you brushed off your own thoughts and say hi and tell him how he did well.

“Hi Jake, i really enjoyed the concert, i can’t believe you called me i~” you were cutted as you heard him speak by his deep voice with thick accent

“come here” he commands while tapping his thigh

You blinked for a while as you look at him confused

“i said come here” his tone is very commanding and scary

You slowly walk towards him and he immediately grabbed your wrist and draw circles on it using his thumb

“so…” he paused looking at you directly in the eye

“you wanna be layla’s mom” that devilish smirk perked up on his beautiful lips once again

You gulp nervously at the question you knew that this was about the banner

“look Jake im sorry i didn’t mean to make you~” he shush you

“you know how hard it was for me to hide a fucking boner?” he raised his eyebrows at you

“what?” you ask sincerely looking at his bulge

He took your hand once again and guided it to palm his hard cock through his pants.

“JAKE!!” you shouted his name and step back a little bit taken aback from what he did.

GOD IT’S HUGE 😭

He smirked again from your reaction as he let go of your hands and quickly removed his glasses and leather jacket leaving him only with tank top perfectly flexing his biceps and showing his toned chest through the tight material.

You tried not to look at his body but failed anyways

“So” he licked his lips and started placing both of his hands at the back of his head, spreading his legs even more to pull you closer to him.

Youur mouth waters from the sight alone and jake noticed it and smirked again for the hundredth time.

“To be layla’s mom, first you should know how to suck my dick” he looked up to you waiting for your response

Your eyes widened from what you heard.

“WHAT?!!” you’re so confused right now

“can you make me feel good” palming his hard cock through his pants, once again biting his lips, and winking at you. “I want someone who can take care of my cock too, you think you can do that?”

This is guy is so perv but you love it. It’s not all the time that you could suck a dick like jake’s 🤷‍♀️

You don’t know what’s going on with your mind as you nodded to him slowly kneeling down and you put both of your hands on either side of his thighs

“that’s a good girl” he said patting your head as he tucked your hair behind your ears

You can’t really talk right now. All you can think of is HIS cock and the taste of his cum.

Without any hesitation you immediately reached for his pants unzipping it in no time. He lifted his lower body so you could pull down his pants together with his boxers.

You gulped at the sight in front of you, it’s average in length but what shocked you the most is its thickness, it’s fat FAT!

You tried to scan his fat cock a little bit more as you also noticed how veiny it is. Well this isn’t so shocking for you because you see how veiny his hands are.

You can’t help but to lick your lips as you can’t really wait to savour his cock. You’re basically drooling over his cock. “you like what you see baby? why don’t you show me how you like it hmm?”

You wasted no time putting your pretty lips around the tip of his cock

You hummed as you try to please him with only the head

He leaned against the couch and put his hands at the back of his head

HE IS SO HOT! you were so turned on at the sight of him looking down at you with smile, biting his lips and his armpit on full display.

You try to taste every inch of his fat cock starting from the head, you started sucking it like your life depends on it. He guided your hands into his balls implying you to massage it.

He can’t help but buck his hips wanting to hit your throat immediately.

After a few minutes of sucking and licking just the tip you gave it a few more peck while looking at him still looking down at you with a smirk as he caress your cheeks

You tilt your head and work on the base of his cock this time. You gave it a long lick from his balls to the top of its head. You could literally feel in your tongue the bumps of his veins running through his cock. HE TASTES SO GOOD!

“baby i want more, please suck it more” he whined getting boring with your way of pleasuring him.

You got sad cuz you want to take your time, to WORSHIP his cock. But this isn’t about you, so upon hearing his words you’re eager to please him more, to SATISFY him.

You started by spitting on top of his cock as you locked eye contact with him. You saw him nodding at you flashing his eyebrows encouraging you to do more.

You worked your mouth down on his pretty cock reaching the back of your throat in one go earning a few cuss from his him.

“fuck that’s it, so fucking tight and warm ahh..” he grabbed the back of your head and pushed it down a little bit more.

He guided you as you bobbed your head up and down aggressively until you choked out loud, causing you to immediately pull his hands off of your head and let go of his cock for a second.

You looked at him with teary eyes, catching your breath, signaling for a pause.

“im sorry baby did i go too hard?” he asked while tracing your lips with the head of his cock STILL smirking.

“just a few more, i know you can take it” he leaned down to lick the corner of your lips where your saliva is dripping and asked “right baby?”

damn he’s so hot and nasty 😵‍💫 but you like it. You like how he’s being rough with you

“please” he says with puppy eyes

and who are you to ignore his cock?

“stick your tongue out for me please”

As the cock slut you are you stuck your tongue out as he placed his heavy cock on top of your tongue rubbing it slowly.

You both stayed like this for a while feeling the heaviness of his cock while he says a few reminders.

“when i cum down this mouth i want you to swallow all of it, understood?” you badly want to make this the best blowjob he will ever get, so you immediately lick the tip of his cock as a response while nodding

“fuck” he hissed at your actions and pulled you out of his cock by your hair and held your chin up

“you can’t wait huh? you really want my cum?” he says slapping his cock against your cheeks

All you can do is to nod at him, your eyes watching how he hits your face with his cock tapping it all over your face harder and harder spreading his pre-cum

He teases you like this for a few seconds as you go after his dick sniffing it and catching it with your mouth

He chuckles while looking at you so desperate looking like a dog going after its toy “Slut!” he slapped it one last time against your cheeks and started patting your head

“good girl, now open up i’ll go hard okay?” he stands up, forcefully gripping your jaw using his one hand and spat on your mouth which you gladly took and swallow like it’s yours.

“god you’re making me crazy” without a warning he shoved his cock all the way in to your throat. You looked at him with teary eyes while he harshly fuck your throat like there’s no tomorrow.

He pulls out for a second to give you a break as he pats your head and caress your cheeks “so good for me, taking me so well”

“please fuck my mouth jakey” you beg

“oh baby i will” you try your best not to choke as he picked up his pace this time. You gripped around his legs as a support as he uses your mouth like a flesh light with every hard thrust letting a sinful moans and grunts from him.

You keep sucking, using your tongue to rub the underside of his dick that's filling up your mouth. He pulls your hair again causing you to moan around his dick and you close your eyes, only to feel a slap on your cheek.

You open your eyes and look up at him to see him looking down at you with a frown, hand still on your jaw. " You're gonna keep looking at me got it?" He said, his thrusts never faltering. You hummed in agreement and his smirk returns.

“ughh fuck this mouth so good for me” he thrusts slowly but deeper this time angling his hips.

“you like this huh? such a good girl for me yeah?” he asked mouth wide open and eyes squinting as pleasure takes over his body.

You stay like that for a few more minutes, unmoving as Jake uses your mouth for his pleasure, swallowing saliva and precum, until you feel his grip in your hair get tighter and his thrusts gets deeper.

“Im close baby, remember what i told you?” he says as his speed increases, the sounds of you choking and gagging bringing his climax ever closer.

You felt him grabbed your head with both of his hands as his thrusts started to get sloppy and shallow indicating for him to reach his climax.

Hearing his sexy moans and gasps made your pussy clench around nothing. So you tried to reach for your pants and work your own orgasm.

Jake is too lost on his mind to even notice how youre trying to pleasure yourself. With that he just continues to punish your pretty little mouth mercilessly.

“ah fuck! fuck! fuck! im cumming, ah” he cried so loud enough for people outside the room to hear

With few more thrust he buried your head against his cock, the tip of your nose hitting his pelvis as he shoot his load to the back of your throat as you hollow your cheeks even more getting all the cum out of his cock.

You looked at him head thrown back, furrowed eyebrows, mouth wide open moaning out loud, body twitching, and gasping for air. His face says it all.

You felt his dick twitch one last time as he shots his 6th cumshot in to your throat, some spilling down your mouth.

He thrusts one last time to make sure all of his cum goes down your throat.

“fuck” he fell down the couch sweat all over his face looking at you proudly as you showed him how you eat and swallow all of his load~draining him.

“fuck i came a lot, didn’t I?” he moves closer to your face as he brought his thumb to wipe off the remaining of his cum on your chin and shove it back inside your mouth.

You hummed sucking his thumb while looking at him, your pussy is now forgotten as you came just from tasting his seeds.

“good girl” you’ve lost count on how many times did Jake called you that. It boosts your ego.

You started getting up on your knees, and grabbed your things, and the reality just hits you now. You can’t process what just happened “jake i have to go, thank y~”

You were cut off once again

“wait” you glanced over him as you see him get something from his bag

He walk over you still with his cock hanging between his legs and hand you a piece of paper~with his contact number written on it.

You find him cute on how he just stood there, smiling at you like a puppy as if he didn’t just choked your life out earlier.

He leaned closer to your ear as he grabbed the back of your neck and whispered something to you

“i still don’t know your name, pretty” he said in a flirty and sexy tone making you wet once again.

You were about to say your name when you felt him bit your ears.

“Jake uhmm wait” you tried to stop him as his mouth went its way down to your neck sucking it desperately.

“mhmm jake please” you cried tilting your head to give him more access to your neck

It took a while before jake got his senses back as he stared at the mark on your neck proudly with a smirk.

“so…how do you want me to call you baby” he looked at your eyes

“y/n” you said voice shaking

“what a sexy name” he says with a raspy voice squeezing your ass up pressing your clothed pussy on his once again hard cock

“feel that y/n?” you moaned as you feel his cock against you with your pants the only boundary. At this point, both of you are so hungry and desperate for each other. You follow the rhythm of his body, grinding against him.

He grabed you by your head and started lapping, eating, devouring, the entirety of your mouth almost licking all parts of your face. Making you gasp and open your lips for him. But he doesn’t gave you time to catch your breath as he pushed his tongue inside your mouth feeling him suck on your tongue harshly. You placed both of your hands on his shoulder as you try to kiss him back with the same intensity. You continued for a few more minutes exchanging salivas while still grinding against each other until you heard a knock from the door calling for Jake.

You pulled back from the kiss and saliva dripped down your lips but Jake is too quick to catch it with his own tongue. Licking your chin all the way up to the tip of your nose. He groaned, disappointment evident from his face.

“Damn baby you’re so hot, but i need to go” he said while putting his Calvin Klein underwear back on together with his pants.

“call me by the number i gave you…” he thrusts in to you one last time…

“Im going to MAKE you a mom” he whispers pecking your lips one last time

Leaving you dumb and speechless

Leaving your pussy dripping from your second orgasm

Leaving you wanting for more

Leaving you curious about his last words~

THE END

HI! OMG thank you for reading this! I hope you enjoy 🥹

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walnutcookie · 3 months

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sir i humbly request rambles about misfortune and more cappuccino hcs

perhaps some body horror doodles as well if you feel comfortable

i adore this au please spill your guts to me and i will feed on the titbits i find

also may i make fanart of this misfortune au thing (sorry not sure what to call it)

misfortune moment PART THREE!!!! ramble under cut :]

part one here

part two here

rbs ok!

misfortune knows exactly how to inflict the most amount of misery in someone.

heres the thing. if it just kept beating its host while theyre down, the host would eventually grow a tolerance to the pain and simply become numb. that means that it cant get any more misery out of its host and it would have to find another one.

So! it allows the host some joy. In cappuccinos case, it primarily involves his vacations :]c before she actually knows what causes all of the bad things in his life she just knew that Everything was always bad and miserable unless she was relaxing. while she was working, things would constantly injure her, nothing would stay organized, and bad things just kept happening one after another, but on vacation everything seemed to be just fine!! Great even! shes just able to surf or relax or nap and just ENJOY things instead of being hit by falling lights and bookshelves. even though every car shes ever been in has crashed hes always been safe on planes. of course its not all sunshine and rainbows because she can hardly even enjoy the break when he cant stop thinking about how AWFUL its going to be to go back to work

BUT!! the point is that her days off are like the ONLY times that he finds peace. Which is partially why hes so eager to catch another break!!! misfortune lets her have these lovely days but also uses it as an opportunity to make bad things happen during/right before her breaks so that theyre cancelled or cut short and shes filled with disappointment<3

this is also why it let langue into cappuccinos life ! of course it could EASILY just kill them but cappuccino was already getting a little too miserable and was far too adjusted to all of the bad luck in his life already so langue was the perfect solution to that problem. And also created misery all on their own like the longing cappuccino feels before they actually get together. And now that cappuccino has langue in her life and theyre someone who makes her so happy misfortune is able to cause harm to them/mess with cappuccino's plans of meeting them and just cause more distress :]c

of course that plan backfired when langue managed to weaken it and make cappuccino's life decent enough to the point it was forced to leave OOPS!!!!

but yeah ,,, i dont know i just love messing with this thang. too much misfortune is bad because then the host will adapt so it has to be a little lenient so the person doesnt feel completely and utterly hopeless >:] and in the event that the host does become useless to it then it simply posesses them to commit crimes and just cause misery to other people than the host before exiting the body and leaving it to bleed out and die

OKAY WHOOPEEE thats all i have to talk about right now i hope this is at least somewhat cohesive im kindof tired right now . BUT WOO RAVEN TIME!!!! THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THIS ASK IT WAS SO SO FUN TO DRAW ANS ANSWER /GEN AGHH hope you enjoy the drawings as much as i enjoyed making them X] ill likely put them in a seperate post since im really proud of the first one and i kind of want it to be in a post of its own agahsbfkhf

ALSO IVE ALREADY ANSWERED THIS BUT YESS ABSOLUTELY !!! I WOJLD ABSPLUTELY LOVE TO SEE FANART AUAGHHFF <333 YOU ARE SO SWEET !!!

if anyone has any further questions/comments feel free to shoot me an ask ! X]

#cappuccino cookie #cookie run #cookie run au #my art #🎉 rambles #tw blood #tw body horror #blood #body horror

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nanamin-nah-nanamine · 2 months

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Satoru and his moon

hey guys I hope you all enjoy this little kidfic I whipped together. for clarification Satoru and Suguru are around ten here. If you enjoy leave a rb,like or comment and lmk if you want this to become a series

here's the shawty who wanted to be tagged @biscuitsngravie

Once upon a time, there was a boy who fell in love with the moon. A lonely boy, just shy of five years old and cursed with the greatest gift of all; power. The little god who shifted the plates of jujutsu society and paid for it in solitude. Satoru Gojo. The bearer of six eyes and limitless, the cure to the world’s poison, the start of a new era. Satoru was many things, but mainly; he was lonely. He had no siblings, being a male and the bearer of such precious techniques, his mother’s job was considered done. In the world of the clans she had hit the jackpot by giving birth to him and was given the freedom to do what she pleased. What seemed to please her most was leaving and forgetting her son had ever existed. Satoru doesn’t even know what she looked like.

The jealous women of the estate liked to talk and it turned out his mother was nothing but a common whore. Satoru didn’t know what a whore was, but the way they laughed and teased him when no one was looking, it couldn’t be anything nice. He didn’t try to ask his father, the man was too busy to answer unimportant questions. Satoru didn’t see his father often, but he didn’t mind. His cursed energy felt weird and made Satoru nauseous. He didn’t need a mother or father anyways when he had Hina-chan. She was technically his nursemaid, but was more of a mother to him than anyone. She’s the first face he sees in the morning and the last before he goes to bed. She was also the one to get him out of trouble before his father could find out.

“Gojo-sama”she would chide gently, plucking him out of the muddy puddle he had taken residence in. “You’re all dirty now”

But one flash of that dimpled smile and he was usually off the hook. He used that to his advantage. Yes, Satoru was lonely. Hina-chan had other duties besides running after him and he wasn’t allowed to play with the other children on the estate lest they corrupt him. The only interactions he really got were from teachers,trainers and Hina-chan, but for someone so lonely he was constantly surrounded by glaring eyes and envious glances. People wanted him dead. He knew the taste of poison and it was much too dangerous for him to go beyond the estates grounds. Coddled and neglected. Like fine china, sat up on a shelf but not used even once. Around the age of six he learned the fine art of sneaking from his bedroom to sit in the garden and by the age of ten he had mastered it. It was quiet then. The pond rippled,the sun’s blinding gaze was put to rest and the cloying cursed energy had dulled to a hum. Peaceful it was to just sit and not be watched. He found comfort sitting and watching the moon, sometimes talking, sometimes not. It was all well and good, he finally had peace. Until one day something peculiar happened. The moon was dim. The stars still shone bright, but the moon had lost its shine. The night was dark, and Satoru didn’t fear the dark. He didn’t fear anything, but he was a bit disappointed. Climbing from his window proved to be a bit difficult without any light, but it wasn’t impossible. His bare feet hit the soft grass and a melodic voice spoke to him.

“So you came”it said, full of mirth.

“I always come here,”he frowned, crossing his arms. “Who are you? Why are you here?”

The boy let out a soft laugh that sounded like bells. “And here I thought we had become good friends, Satoru-kun”

“It’s gojo-sama to you”the young boy huffed, puffing out his chest. “Now, who are you?”

The cursed energy glowed around him bright enough to shine light on the strange boy. He had long black hair and amber eyes, a kimono made of silk that glittered under the light and sparkled like stardust. He also appeared to be around Satoru’s age but had a strange aura about him.

“I am the moon,”the boy said evenly.

“You’re the…moon?”Satoru said slowly.

“Yes”the boy laughed, “your people call me Tsukuyomi no mikoto, but I think you may be too young to know that yet”

Satoru huffed. “I’m not a child”

“But you are”the boy smiled and…it didn’t sound malicious. It didn’t sound angry. It was confusing, it made him angry. The cursed energy within him boiled and his eyes glowed. To be shown impudence was to be disrespected. He was the bearer of six eyes and limitless, the heir to the gojo clan. He would not sit here and be disrespected.

“Who the fuck do you think you are?”he spat. “Coming to my estate to sit here and tell me lies! I could have you killed for this, do you know that? Are you aware of who I am? You should be bowing before me--”

“You are an angry one,”the boy interrupted with a slight chuckle. “But I have not deceived you, Satoru-kun. I am who I said I was”

“The moon?”Satoru scoffed.

“Yes I am,”the boy said, “the moon and a god, one in the same. I reign over the moon of this planet”

“I-”

“And I do know who you are, Satoru-kun”the boy continued, “the night you were born caused quite the fuss”

Satoru’s headspun. “W-well if you’re a god, then why are you a child!”

The boy threw his head back and let out a full belly laugh. “Even gods are children once, Satoru”

Satoru stared at him.

“And my mother is human,”the boy amended.

“Aha!”he cried, pointing his finger accusingly. “So you’re only half a god!”

The boy tilted his head. “Why half? I’m fully god and fully human”

“I..I don’t know”Satoru said. He’d never thought of it like that before. “Well, before I just believe you’re a god you have to prove it!”

The boy nodded, “alright, if you wish”

The boy clenched his fist and slowly opened it to reveal a bright orb in its place. It glowed silver and rotated slowly in his palm.

“Is that…”

“A star?”the boy smiled, “it is.”

The boy really was a god.

“I still don’t understand why you’re so small,”Satoru frowned, “if you’re half god, shouldn’t you be bigger?”

“I am bigger when i’m at home”the boy said, “but when i come to earth i take on my human form and walk as a mortal”

Satoru’s heart stopped beating for a second. “So…you could die as a human?” The boy nodded. “I’m assuming so”

Satoru didn’t like the sound of that. The thought of losing his only friend made his stomach hurt.

“Well, whenever you’re here i’ll watch you!”he declared, “I am the strongest after all”

“The strongest with no manners”the boy laughed. “You haven’t even asked my name”

Satoru’s cheeks turned pink and he frowned, punching the boy's shoulder. “I was getting to that!”

“Sure you were,”the boy teased, but he was still smiling.

“Well what is it”he grumbled.

“Geto Suguru”the boy said. Satoru’s eyes widened.

“You have a japanese name!?”

“That’s what surprises you?”Suguru said, rolling his eyes“I told you, my mom is human…and we’re speaking Japanese right now”

“It could have been a coincidence!” “Mhm”Suguru said, giving him a look, “it’s okay to be wrong sometimes”

“Nope”Satoru said, shaking his head, “Not me, i’m never wrong”

“Right”Suguru smiled, “Oh great Gojo-sama is never wrong”

Satoru frowned and punched his shoulder again.

“Ow”

“Don’t call me that”Satoru grumbled.

“What? gojo-sama?”Suguru teased and successfully dodged the next punch thrown his way.

“Quit it!”Satoru groaned, “We..we’re friends, you don’t have to call me that okay? It’s weird”

“I was just teasing,”Suguru amended, patting the white haired boy’s shoulder. “I won’t call you that anymore”

“Good,”Satoru said, quickly returning to his cheeky smile. “As long as I can call you Suguru-kun”

Suguru-kun. The dark-haired boy smiled and nodded. “Yes, yes you can”

Satoru’s grin broadened. “Well Suguru-kun, have you ever played digimon?”

#jujutsu kaisen #jjk fic #satosugu fanfic #satosugu #jjk au #jujutsu kaisen getou #jujutsu kaisen gojo #jujutsu kaisen fluff #jujutsu kaisen fanfiction #satoru gojo #geto suguru #jjk kid fic #jjk fluff #satosugu fluff #guys they have my heart #little Satoru #I'll throw up #jjk #satoru x suguru

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girlwithamissingpearl · 1 year

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What the actual fuck did people expect from this movie. I mean rom com on.

Some people were always going to rate it a 10, others a 1. My advice-knock out the 1’s and 10’s and look in the middle. Personally I have no interest in paying someone to scare the shit out of me. Any film about war in the stars or a galaxy near you-not my thing. Fast cars- meh. Superhero movies not my thing. But for others this is their thing. I hadn’t been to a film in the cinema for years. I forgot how much fun it was. This is the perfect movie to grab the girls, stock up on popcorn and twizzlers and get comfortable in your seat. Firstly it’s a rom com not Anna Karenina, if you’re looking for the latter this is not for you. If you’re looking for a love story with a bit of a twist this is your film. Personally I thought SH was adorkable. I liked SH snd PC together but if you’re expecting SH-CB chemistry you’ll be disappointed. For me it was light and funny and a bit sad but not trying to be something it’s not. My friend and I had a really good time and left the theatre happy. CD’s music doesn’t disappoint. And if you’re looking to be entertained for a couple of hours , Love Again is for you. If you are a SH fan this is your film. I just want to be upfront and honest with this review. Again for me a solid 8.😉

Why the fuck are people once again posting some of the nastiest, most mean spirited reviews. Seriously WTF

Does anyone believe that any of these critics watched the entire film? Do these critics have any idea who the target audience is? Yes, the film has not been a box office success, but once a streaming option kicks in, the film will likely end the year in the black. Based on reviews by people, singles and couples that have in fact watched the film, the reviews have been favourable. It’s, sweet, funny and CD’s music is great. And easy to watch. So for those who get off criticizing women who have seen the film more than once, or purchased or rented online- knock it off. And knock off the SH is stealing our money, because he’s not. And finally, look for the clip making the rounds where SH as RB, does a little dance in front of the mirror and tell me he is not adorable and awkward and sexy and hot. Hating a film because you can find terrible reviews just doesn’t hold the same weight as a paying customer who actually watched the film. It just doesn’t.

#love again Sam Heughan

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vt-scribbles · 3 months

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Please RB for bigger sample size!

#writing #writing advice #polls #I'll go first:#I was reading a book and the prose and dialogue were tonally dissonant.#The villain's dialogue was very flippant and silly and childish but then they would stab someone through the head on the next page.#And then we'd go between silly antics and then someone being decapitated or ripped in half with decent detail.#The subject of the story and the tone of the prose did not match #and it took me right out of the story.#On top of this the pacing was very unsatisfactory. Through the whole book there were only two settings.#We escape setting 1 about halfway through the book. Then we IMMEDIATELY get stuck in setting 2 for most of the rest.#Wait no there was a third but it barely has a presence.#If I were to change it I would adjust the prose to match the tone or adjust the subject matter to match the prose #Either make the subject matter sillier or make the prose more serious and grounded #It took me out of it so hard that I refused to read another book in the series

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dingleshartbeaufoy · 3 months

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— 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐚𝐲 𝐚 𝐜𝐚𝐥𝐦 𝐦𝐚𝐧 𝐛𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐡��𝐬

[masterlist]

gen, henri clément x augustin lambert

tags - canon compliant, character study, vignettes, mental health issues

rated m - 2.7k words

warnings - referenced/implied csa (not explicit but can be interpreted that way)

— snapshots of henri’s life before and during the war.

(Please rb + read on ao3 if possible 🫀)

[banner by reveriesources]

“He’s beautiful,” murmurs a mother, cradling her newborn child in her arms. He’s red and chubby, a light dusting of blonde hair across his crown. She has hair of the same hue, and it falls messily around her shoulders in two disheveled plaits. The child looks more like his mother than like his father, long face and tired eyes like a painting. Thin and lithe and gangly.

“You’re beautiful, aren’t you, my sweet boy?” The mother giggles, overwhelmed with joy. Her name is Cèline, but most call her Cece, for her initials being the same letter. She taps her child once on the nose, who giggles in turn.

“Have you chosen a name?” Speaks a man, the father, voice low and booming. It comforts the baby as if his voice is wrapping him in strong arms and keeping him safe.

“That I have,” Céline replies with a smile. “Hush, now. He needs to sleep, okay?”

—-

The newborn turns into the infant turns into the boy. And the boy doesn’t do well with other children.

Céline has a friend, Claudette, who lives in the countryside with her husband and daughter. They’re in the backyard of her extravagant estate, which is more of a field fenced in with white picket. The land is expansive, though, stretching all the way to a lone oak tree in the corner. The children are sitting under it, playing with toy soldiers of dubious nationality. The boy is curled up under the table on the patio, holding onto Céline’s dress. She affectionately ruffles his short crop of blonde-ish hair and tries to coax him out, but he doesn’t want to leave her.

The boy knows she uttered his name, but he can’t remember what it was. He can only remember a firm command to play with the other children. A firm command to leave her alone, as the boy heard it.

As he walks across the field to the shade under the tree, where some children are already casting him cautious stares, he feels it stretch for miles in front of him. He tries not to cry. He stands at the edge of the shade, in the sunlight, and feels it burn his back. It’s a fine day. The grass is green and lush and the birds are singing. The boy is the only one who notices.

The children murmur and giggle amongst themselves. Looking back and forth between their friends and the boy. They let him play with them, or rather, be in their presence, but he more or less lingers on the outskirts of the group. Picks at grass and wonders for the first time, but certainly not the last: what’s wrong with me?

He was the only one in school who could not only read, but enjoyed it, too. He read books about left out children, cast aside by the world, smiling for the first time when one child would come sit with them even though nobody else would.

That does not happen to the boy. One of the children, Claudette’s daughter, insults his overalls, the ones his mother had sewed, and he runs all the way back to the patio. He never sees Claudette again. Or her bastard daughter.

—-

Gerard, the father, is in over his head with disappointment. His son is five years old and has not made a single friend. Other parents on the lane are asking them when their son is going to be more social, and they are humiliated.

There is a girl they know named Charlotte. She is a daughter of a once-influential family in Paris. One day, her parents took her, left Paris, and never returned. The boy and his family know, though, where they went.

Charlotte lives in a small homestead in the woods. Charlotte told the boy about how her parents thought that, one day, Europe would go to shit and only the people living off the grid would survive. People living in cities would all die in fires, horrible fires. Weapons we have never seen before. Weapons that should not exist. The boy cried in fear, but this time, he wiped away his tears. He didn’t want to disappoint his father.

Charlotte’s backyard didn’t have grass perfectly trimmed to a quarter-inch with ornate fences. Charlottes backyard was a dense brake of trees. Charlotte took the boy by the hand and lead him through it, weaving through thick and thin trunks, bushes and shrubs, and they were spat out beside a little creek. That was its name, Petit Ruisseau. Sunlight dappled the ground in little specks where it peeked through the canopy. Thin streams of water flow over rocks that jut out from the riverbed, and everything glistens and shines.

The boy likes Charlotte. She has dark skin with thick, curly hair bouncing around her shoulders and a gap in her two front teeth. Her parents had made him lunch and told him what a polite guest he was. When they smiled it didn’t feel fake and perfunctory. The boy likes her, so when she pushes him into the creek, which is so shallow he only gets the front of his clothes wet, he laughs and pushes her in too. Damp, they run back home, and suddenly the boy is very afraid. He’s made a mess.

But, somehow, Charlotte’s parents don’t mind. They give him a new set of clothes to wear. It’s a knitted green sweater and brown shorts, and they’re a little bit too big because Charlotte is a year or two older than him, but he doesn’t mind. They smell like her home. Her parents hang up his clothes with clothespins and when they dry he’s sent home. His mother sees him with the widest smile she’s ever seen.

—-

Christmas comes fast and soon there’s snow blanketing every surface of Paris. Lights are lit up in shops and on corners, and everything seems to sing. The boy wants to get a gift for his new friend Charlotte. She’s the only thing he loves. She’s the only person besides his mother and sometimes his father who was nice to him. The boy liked playing with her. He didn’t want her to grow bored or disappointed if he didn’t get her a gift.

Céline asks the boy if he wants to spend Christmas with Charlotte and her little family. He and his father go the morning of Christmas Eve, and his father repairs their roof, damaged by the snow, and reinforces the support beams of their home, and then leaves. Charlotte has a sister, Carina. They’re laughing and the boy remembers when his mother announced he would have a baby sister, and then a few weeks later, she cried for an entire day straight, and he never got to have one.

It makes him sad, seeing them, and thinking about what could have been, and of everything that’s been stolen from him. But he smiles despite. There is so much pain inside of him, but none in this room.

—-

The boy has turned into the man and the man is named Henri Clément, and he looks just like his mother, and he has one best friend, and his name is Augustin Lambert, but Henri has other friends, too.

He appreciates violence more than ever for how it brings people together. They’ve got no choice but to be friends, if not just amicable, with one another, and Henri has gotten good at pretending to be human. At knowing what to say when what he wants to say wouldn’t work.

He cannot tell you what is his favorite color, or what is his most cherished memory, he doesn’t know— he cannot envision his own face in his head. It’s all a watercolor blur of shapes and colors. Concepts rather than images. But he knows Augustin. Knows his height, his weight, all his favorite things and all of his fears. He knows what makes him human.

He likes Augustin. And what’s better is Augustin likes him back. Likes him enough to where he’ll prank him, crawl into his bunk with him, laugh with him, kiss him. Henri doesn’t see him doing that with anybody else. He feels special.

Henri respects Augustin, though, and Augustin has a wife, and he has a child with that wife, and Henri is not his wife and he is not bound to him in any way, by no band of metal. They romp because that is all they can do in this manmade hell of theirs. Henri is tormented by his thoughts. If they had met under different circumstance, would Augustin have liked him as much?

—-

Henri has a shoebox he keeps under his bunk, buried under all manner of things.

It’s filled with photos. He makes frequent trips to the darkroom when everybody else is asleep, and develops them. They’re all of Augustin. In most of them, he’s aware the photo is being taken. They’re out on patrol, or they’re having lunch, or they’re playing cards. In others, he isn’t. He’s sleeping with Henri’s arm wrapped around his shoulder. Or he’s across the room, facing away from him, but Henri felt compelled to record the moment anyway.

Photos are all he has. He cannot remember the events of last week, or the week before that. Not his mother’s name, nor fathers, not even that little girl with the curly hair he used to play with. Teasingly did Noyer call him a stalker, but there was sincerity laced in it. Henri can only hope Augustin does not think him the same way. Henri can only hope Augustin does not come to fear him for things he already fears about himself.

—-

Henri loves nobody but himself.

This is his own decision. He cannot love his mother, he doesn’t remember her. He cannot love his father, he cannot remember him either. He cannot love Augustin, for he cannot love someone to whom he is not the first love of. He definitely cannot love himself, in much the same way you cannot love someone you’ve never met.

You can, though, because Henri dreams about it. Dreams about a world where he stayed and met a woman. Camille, maybe, that nurse who worked with his mother. She was always so kind to him. He thinks about a moment that never happened. He thinks about his children. He thinks about how he’d guide them, how he’d tell them never to apologize for being them. And he weeps. He curls into a ball and he weeps. Like he did when he was a boy. He can remember that much.

Someone can love a stranger, Henri realizes, but Henri is not someone. Henri is something else entirely.

—-

He hates Augustin.

He hates him. He wants to kiss his eyelids, and hold him while he sleeps, and he wants to hear Augustin speak to him, hear all the things he hopes he’s keeping in, but he cannot. And he hates him for it. And he knows it is not Augustin’s fault, and he hates him anyway. And for that, he hates himself.

Hate is special like that. It is less infectious than a smile or a yawn but more dangerous because we do not notice until we find ourselves thinking vile things. Vile things like wishing you didn’t exist. Vile things like wishing someone else didn’t exist.

He thinks of things that haven’t happened yet, thinks of possible situations where Augustin shuns him, or pushes him away, and he hates Augustin for those, too, and hates him so much he weeps again, and wonders why he’s like this.

Augustin is just a kid, though. His face retains its baby fat, where Henri’s has been stripped hollow. He’s just a kid. They are both just kids.

They shouldn’t be here. But they are.

—-

Lonely little boys never stop being lonely.

Charlotte had a brother. His name was Aimé and he was a foot taller than Henri. He was tall and broad and wore a comforting smile. He had dinner with him and Charlotte’s family on Christmas. When Henri returned home, though, he never saw Charlotte again, or Aimé, who was strangely ravenous as he ate. He never learned why. He just knew that, for some reason, everything he loved would be taken from him, every last shred until he was bare, and Henri was okay with that.

He took pride in how many times he had to make peace with something he wasn’t truly content with in order to survive.

—-

He had a teacher in grade school. Her name was Professor Beaufort, and she was a demon sent from Hell.

Everybody hated her class. Everybody’s bones ached by the end of them, and yet everybody respected her, because she was a good teacher.

Is that what it is to be good? To make people hurt? And is it any different from the kind of hurt that Henri’s been causing?

Augustin had a teacher, too, who was also a priest, because he grew up in such a small village near the border of Belgium. His name was Father Bernard, and he held food drives at the church for any student who was struggling, but none of them were. They shared everything they had among themselves and they were all happy that way.

Henri smiled quizzically. “Isn’t that the type of person we’re fighting?”

Augustin seems to think for a moment, eyes going unfocused where they rested on Henri. Then, he looks back to face the endless wasteland in front of them. “I suppose it is,” he confirms. “Then, maybe we are not the saints we thought ourselves to be.”

“I never thought myself a saint,” Henri blurts.

The soldiers are all self righteous. It’s why they’ve lived so long. They think they’re serving a higher purpose, but Henri does not, and maybe that makes him worse, to fight without a clear direction.

Augustin looks confused, and intrigued, and maybe a bit proud. “You don’t?”

Henri shakes his head.

Augustin clasps his hand on his shoulder and it’s so novel to make him shudder. “Then you are the best of all of us, mon ami.”

—-

The garrison is gathered in the mess hall, playing poker and drinking. Last night, Henri put human shit in Augustin’s pillowcase. Tonight, he will find it.

The men are crowded around the table, some playing, but most are just talking. About home, about life after the war or about life during. One of them, Delisle, looks at Henri.

“And you, Clément?” He probes. “Have you any regrets?”

Henri snorts. “You speak as though I am already dead, brother.”

The group shares a laugh and Delisle shrugs. “We are all dead men walking. It is good to sort your demons out while you have the chance, yes?”

Henri hums and looks down at his drink, golden liquid swishing in its glass. And thinks. He cannot remember anything. He just knows he feels guilt. He wants to be different, and he regrets that, too. He feels all of the eyes of the world on him. Watching him. Waiting.

Always waiting.

“I have no regrets,” he says with confidence, looking back up at Delisle. “I just wish the world had been a better place.”

Somewhere, distantly, Augustin yells in horror.

There is so much pain in the world. But not in this room.

—-

A strange feeling overcomes Henri in the last stretch of his life. Melancholy. And spiritual. As if he is realizing all at once every realization he will not have the chance to make naturally. Like his life is trying to account for everything he’ll miss out on.

Everything changes, everything ends. He doesn’t feel guilt anymore. He doesn’t try to smile when he doesn’t feel like it. He doesn’t stop himself smiling just because he feels like it. He doesn’t feel shame for how his heart feels. Sometimes, he looks into the nothingness for hours and hours and doesn’t think a single thought.

It is a wonderful gift, to have nothing going on inside you.

There is a death rattle. Henri hears it resounding in the universe. He hears it when dice are thrown against a table. He hears it when lightning crashes. He hears it in laughter. He hears it in everything. He sees infinity stretch out before him, wide and inviting. The universe is slowly dying around him.

What a beautiful thing it is, then. To live in spite of, rather than in fear of.

#amnesia game #amnesia the bunker #augustin lambert #henri clement #tiredmother #annewrites #lament

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lakelyasleep · 11 months

Text

I was playing around with warrior cats AUs earlier and an interesting thought came up. What if Fireheart was a WindClan cat and a Med cat? (And had amnesia, for funsies) Here are some jumbled ideas in (mostly) chronological order.

Rusty leaves the two-leg place at four moons, meeting Tigerclaw. As you expect this doesn't end well. He barely gets away alive, passing out inside WindClan's border.

It's Deadfoot that finds him, acting as his main parental figure next to Barkface.

When he wakes up he doesn't know who he is or what happened. Though because he smelt like ThunderClan, Tallstar could guess.

Because of Tigerclaw, he is very scarred, the most notable one on his left side goes from his shoulder to his flank.

He was five moons when ShadowClan chased WindClan from their home. He already wanted to become a med cat and helped Barkface where he was allowed.

Firepaw gets far more warrior training than the average med cat would due to the exile. This becomes a part of WindClan culture later on.

He has a very strong connection to StarClan in this AU! While they meant for him to be a ThunderClan warrior they aren't particularly disappointed with what he chose.

Firepaw keeps having dreams of the same two cats, one a tortoiseshell tom with a red tail, one a brown tiger-like tabby with sharp claws. The tabby looks familiar but he has no idea where he'd met the cat.

We're gonna move from WindClan for now, let's check in on ThunderClan, shall we?

Spottedleaf still gets the "Fire will save our clan" prophecy, but doesn't understand it until much later.

Tigerclaw becomes deputy after he kills Redtail, but is more patient than he is in canon.

Ravenpaw doesn't leave ThunderClan because he never saw Tigerclaw kill Redtail, though he is still scared of Tigerclaw. He gets the name Ravenflight for his flighty personality. Raven x Barley is still a thing, don't worry!

Ravenpaw is the one who helps Yellowfang and is punished because he feeds her. Ravenpaw acts in the place of Firepaw for the most part.

Sandpaw stays roughly the same, her arc does not change much until later.

While Spottedleaf isn't killed by Clawface the kits are still kitnapped, and Yellowfang is still blamed. They thought she was a spy or something.

Graypaw and Ravenpaw go looking for her and find out the truth. Things go the way they did in canon. Brokenstar and his followers are chased out. After the battle, they're given their warrior names and do their vigil.

Graystripe and Ravenflight are the ones sent to find WindClan. This is how our favourite trio meet.

They actually spot Firepaw hunting and run up to him, not expecting him to turn and swipe at them. It takes Deadfoot calling out to Firepaw to make him back off.

They take a break when they meet Barley, who offers to let them stay the night in the barn. He and Ravenflight talk for hours.

When Graystripe gets Firepaw to relax, he asks about Firepaw's scars. Firepaw shakes his head and says he doesn't remember how he got them. He doesn't remember anything from before WindClan found him.

The party of cats leave, deciding to cut through RiverClan territory. They still fight with that RiverClan patrol but no one dies, luckily.

Ravenflight and Graystripe go home, both their minds stuck on different cats.

And we're gonna stop there, for now, I'll probably rb with more ideas later. My brain is already rotting with this AU so I'll def be coming back to it!

#windclan #warrior cats #warrior cats au #windclan fireheart au #medicine cat fireheart au #erin hunter warriors #brainrot #i have so many thoughts

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sixpennydame · 21 days

Note

"so if eruri is triggering for you, I’d suggest you start filtering certain tags so you can curate the kind of experience you want here."

I guess you think I don't really filter them out, but you're wrong. Believe me, no matter how much I ban everything related to this ship, it comes up in every way. For example eruri shipper Levixreader writers. Even in the Hcs/fanfic's they write, they are in every way squeezing their own ship under the guise of "this is not ship discourse" and they write the dynamics of that ship under the name of 'levixreader' in order to show that their ship is canon. And you naively Rb'd them and think that Levi's character is really like that. He's a perpetually angry man, he's a cruel selfish man who hates the weak and who hates the weak and who immediately abandons you because he's weak, who puts his feelings for erbin ahead of his duties 🥺 who puts humanity through hell for erbin. but someone who is a dog and a softy for him and someone who threw S/o out of the window for him. Yes he loves S/o but he would even sacrifice S/o for the landlord whose dog he is 😔 But again keep saying "great Levi fic post 😭".

And that's what I'm talking about when I say don't let them manipulate you, because even one of your recent articles is similar to their writing style. I wouldn't be surprised if you soon write Levi as an ass upturned, bed whining, super fanon twink whiny lowlife sub. One of your Rb's in particular is a super delulu shipper levixreader writer, and they so much portray Levi as Erwin's lapdog, order dog, loyal dog, someone who never questions whatever action he takes, never wavers in his loyalty, that Cosmic finally had to write them a misleading reply that Levi is not like that Lmaoo. And they are egotistical and self-righteous enough to say "I know better than you" when they see criticism that contradicts their fanon thinking. Man its 2024 and fucking ackerbond has been debunked years ago and even Isayama's dusty old interviews deny it. Yeah, no matter how much I filter eruri, I see exactly that in both Levi tags and Levixreader tags 🙃 and now whenever I want to read fic or browse Levi posts, I have to look at them with hesitation and fear. I don't understand if I should filter Levi directly?

I'm so tired that I would love for Isayama to drop a bombshell that will disprove both the selfshippers and shippers and all their rhetoric, all their Hc's, and leave us all in a big disappointment. For example to give him a really random female partner. Or I would like him to write a characterization where he really doesn't care about everyone and throws them into the fire, where he thinks about himself and his life instead of thinking about them, where he focuses on himself, where he is truly selfish. Then we wouldn't have to see discourses, dramas and fights like "Levi cared about X the most" "He did this and that for X" "Levi doesn't have a canon ship, but if he did it would be X"

*sighs heavily*

I don’t know what to tell you, Anon. If my reblogging and my moots bring you so much distress, you are free to block me.

I refuse to get involved with ship discourse - that’s not what I’m here for.

But I will say this: the writing I do is xreader, but I love to read and view Levi in many forms - canon and AU, eruri, LeviHan, and everything in between. I’ll be sure to make that clear on my ‘About Me’ page.

I love my moots’ writing and art, and will continue to reblog anything that I find beautiful or pleasing to me. Because that, dear Anon, is why I am here.

#and that is the end of that #I refuse to get in online arguments over fictional men #life is too short #and I’m not naive #I’m a grown ass woman who can do what she likes #sailor answers #anon asks

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tarotofzhivamoon · 6 months

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Pick a picture reading

What is blocking reconciliation?

Hi! Thank you for stopping by and reading my work. I hope that you’re going to find the guidance that you need🫶🏻 You can now book a reading with me! Visit my services here and just message me if you are interested in booking any reading.

Pause and take a big breath in, then choose the pile you feel the most drawn to🦋

Masterlist • P@tr30n • Personal readings

Pile 1

Some of the main blockages for this reconciliation are indecision and a whole lot of lack of clarity, accompanied by feelings of isolation, of not being supported and needing to deal with everything on your own because emotionally and mentally you know you can’t depend on the other person for help. This knowing doesn’t necessarily have to be true though because in the past either you or your person, or both of you even, have dealt with experiences that were sort of unpleasant and your minds have stored those unpleasant experiences to a point in which it makes it really easy for you to categorize, label and compartmentalize all these other experiences that happened after those moments. There are associations of new experiences with memories of similar past experiences that have really made it hard for the both of you to actually believe that you’re there for each other and that you want to offer and show support, but due to what you have gone through in the past, it was really hard to believe at the time, maybe it’s hard to believe now as well. It’s very easy for human being to just assume what the other person is feeling or thinking about us, it’s easy to feel like you rightfully know everything about them and about what is going on within them and that’s what gives it some form of realism, it seems like that’s actually what is happening, when in reality the other person could feel completely different than what we are assuming, but instead of asking or clarifying, we continue on believing the story that our minds have painted based on their behavior and comparing it to past experiences that go way deeper than romantic love or friends, down to the relationship we had with our caregivers and what we have seen around us along with what beliefs have been passed onto us. There could’ve been moments in which the support wasn’t there, where it was actually how the other person showed up, but it wasn’t all the time either; that lack of clarity has truly made you both go to really difficult mental and emotional places when it came to each other and your relationship and it has caused a whole lot of baggage; this is the root issue that —

If you enjoyed this reading, the full, in depth reading is available to read on P@tr30n which you can find in my masterlist pinned post. Thank you so much for your support💗

Likes and rbs are appreciated🦋

Pile 2

The main root blockages for this reconciliation are definitely well represented by either you, your person or both of you just effortlessly wallowing in such an unhealthy self-pity, refusing and clinging to move on from the past and just letting go of what has happened which results in you both beating yourselves up over past mistakes that you have made and taking those on as your full identity. Not only this but also not taking on a whole lot of accountability within the connection which has made it very easy for the both of you to simply allow this fear of failing each other to just limit the effort that you have been putting into this relationship when you were together. This is how the dissolution of the relationship started and how it’s been for a whole lot of time, until one of you actually started to see things for what they are and actually put some of that mindset behind, trying to guide the other towards doing the same thing in attempt to save this relationship but it just was too late. The two of you just couldn’t move on from that fear of disappointing the other, maybe it was warranted to be afraid of that due to some criticism or an issue in communication that has caused the both of you to take things personally, to feel like you were being blamed for everything that was going wrong in the relationship almost like you were passing blame from one to the other back and forth, but it’s also been something that you have heavily experienced before in other relationships too. There might’ve been small mistakes that lead to bigger problems or even past criticism, small experiences that have had such a big impact on the both of you and made you believe that it’s so easy to disappoint another, that if you can’t meet their expectations, then you are just doomed because you messed up so badly to a point in which you lost value, the other person might not want anything to do with you anymore. There’s a sense of catastrophizing everything, but it doesn’t seem to be directed at each other or when the other messed up, it wasn’t such a big deal compared to when you both individually messed up and the other would speak up for themselves, in however way they knew best at the time. If you messed up, it was like it was the end of this relationship and those mistakes kept daunting you both until —

If you enjoyed this reading, the full, in depth reading is available to read on P@tr30n which you can find in my masterlist pinned post. Thank you so much for your support💗

Likes and rbs are appreciated🦋

Dividers by Kawaii-Lau on Tumblr🦋

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babacontainsmultitudes · 1 year

Text

Normal, Sparrow, and something about heroes

EDIT: Raised the "read more" cause tumblr wants to make self-rbs a nightmare smh smh

Y'all it's so difficult to write ANYTHING lol fuck... But yeah yeah definitely got some post ep. 30 thoughts. Do need to start with some explanations/clarifications on my general stance regarding Normal which is mostly for the mutuals LOL and they know that so if things appear to lack a bit of context on that front well that's why.

There are some things regarding Norm where I lowkey almost don't want to say anything because I'm sooooo wishy washy myself ahahaha and I feel like I'm definitely gonna end up writing some stuff here and be like "ehhhhhh" later on but what can you do what can you do.

I guess I can at least start by saying that when I say that like, Norm can be self-centered, or prideful, or something to that effect, I am *definitely* not trying to say like "this negates Norm's compassion" or that like, Norm needs to be made to feel bad about that? I hope I'll be able to explain what I mean properly here but, a lot of my feelings regarding Norm's more negative traits do genuinely come from a place of concern for him??

Yes I think Norm can be self-centered, yes I think it comes from a place of loneliness and insecurity, yes I think it bleeds into his actions in a way that can negatively impact both himself and those around him, and yes I think that all of these things make him very very VERY similar to Scary... Is my general stance atm but let me, let me *try* to explain what all that means for me LOL.

I think Norm is a good person. I don't think he's *the most* empathetic or selfless or kind character we've seen in the show, but I also don't think he needs to be, or ever will need to be. He has a good heart (all the teens do, yes that includes Scary, fight me), he *does* care about other people very much, and like the other teens his frustrations are valid and generally pretty justified!

But I think Norm is someone who, perhaps pretty fundamentally, requires a pretty high level of external validation and social acceptance to feel loved, has generally gone most of his life not having that need met outside of his immediate family, and is pretty all-or-nothing and rejection-sensitive when it comes to this validation. I don't think Norm is a bad person for any of these traits (at all), even if it can impact his interactions with others negatively at times. No, above all else, these traits lead me to feel quite concerned and altogether just kinda sad for Norm.

And that's where things get a bit messy. On the one hand, Norm *is* a kind person, with good intentions, and even when I feel most frustrated with his actions, I don't take them as coming from a place of malice or ill-intent. But Norm wants to feel loved so bad, and his conditions for feeling loved (as aforementioned) are very difficult to meet, so, yes, (I do personally feel that) Norm often does, largely without knowing, prioritize this endless search for validation over other things, and having this at the forefront of his mind so frequently does inhibit his ability to truly connect with the people around him and (in many cases) actually *empathize* with them.

The difference- the difference for me between Normal and Linc with regards to Scary isn't whether or not they *care* about Scary. Even if it's a bit old now, I didn't write a whole thing on Normal/Scary and Sparrow/Lark parallels because I don't think Norm cares about Scary. Normal has *absolutely* put a tremendous amount of effort into trying to keep Scary around, to disappointing results that are justifiably frustrating for him. Normal and Linc both care about Scary, the difference for me, and what I just find so spectacular about Linc compared to all the other teens here, is that Linc goes *beyond* himself when he breaks the pic. He's not the first person to care about or try to help Scary, he's just the first person to do so in the way that she actually needs- because his general selflessness allows him to be the first person to actually *understand* Scary. He's not the first person to feel *for* her, he's the first person to feel *with* her. That is... Well I guess that is also to say that when I use the word "empathy" I mean it fairly precisely.

Which also isn't... I'm not trying to knock Normal (or Taylor) in saying this btw. The teens ALL have their strengths and weaknesses, and this was simply a moment that brought out one for Linc and another for Norm (vice versa can has and will be true at other points in time). Normal not being able to do what Linc did here is not something I'm trying to hold against him. With regards to their argument, I genuinely think that they both have plenty of reason to be upset, and ultimately it's all just one big misunderstanding. Still, I do personally think that much of why Norm is so upset with Linc in this scene has not so much to do with Scary nor with the Doodler- but is in fact at least in part Norm feeling rejected by Linc (invalidated, unloved, etc.), and acting out accordingly. Additionally, I think these feelings get in the way of Norm actually being able to understand and appreciate why Linc did what he did. They were both hurt, they both lashed out. I'm not trying to gloss over Linc's part in this either, I'm not saying one of them was right and the other was wrong or that one was mean and the other wasn't, but from what I've seen at least it seems people are almost unanimously siding with Norm on this one without much consideration for the points Linc actually makes here, choosing instead to focus solely on what *Linc's* hurt caused him to say (without acknowledging of course that in Linc's case too it comes from a place of hurt), and that much is a bit frustrating for me admittedly.

I wouldn't have expected or wanted Norm to behave any differently in this scene than he did. I think everything about Norm's behavior makes perfect sense for where he's at, and "where he's at", for me, isn't "selfish kid who doesn't care about other people" it's "scared kid who feels rejected and alone". That said, I think if Norm wants to get any better he, like all the teens, needs to start introspecting a bit more and work on himself.

And when I say that, I'm not saying "Norm is prideful and needs to be more humble" I'm saying, Norm needs to get to a place where he can feel loved, and allow himself to be loved, without it being so all or nothing.

Enter Hero!!! The chosen one! I kinda don't get why some people are just seeing this as Anthony trying to bully Norm rather than a very important opportunity for growth!!!

This feels like a point that could be easily misconstrued, so I'll try to be careful? When I say that Hero being the chosen one is an opportunity for Norm to grow as a person, I am NOT saying in becoming more humble or something like that?? Normal's pride isn't his fatal flaw, it's an afterthought of it, a manifestation of it, a defense mechanism vis a vis his fundamental insecurities, if you will.

Normal, as I see him, is convinced that he will only ever be loved, that he will only ever have "solved" love, when he is validated in absolutes. When he is the most popular boy in school who is friends with everybody. When he's the hero of the story. When he's the chosen one. If part of him sees himself as being without flaw (or the best part of teen high or whatever), it's not because he's some arrogant little brat, it's because he can't imagine himself as being lovable unless he is perfect. He isn't selfish for feeling this way, but from an outside view I think it's fairly easy to say that if Normal continues down that path, he's never going to get where he needs to go.

Hero being the chosen one, not Normal, gives Normal an opportunity to learn (or at least start to learn) that his perceived prerequisites for love (of himself) are false. Normal doesn't have to be the hero of the story. He doesn't have to be a hero. He doesn't have to be Hero, it's enough to just be Normal.

Sooooo... I think it's pretty ironic that... Upon learning that Hero is the chosen one.... So many people have jumped the gun and assumed that this means... Sparrow doesn't love Normal.

HAHA THAT'S RIGHT THIS WAS ABOUT SPARROW ALL ALONG YOU THOUGHT I WAS DONE TALKING ABOUT THIS MAN NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER

But seriously, wow, it pains me sometimes how little faith people have in Sparrow. Hero is "the chosen one"... So every single time Sparrow has relayed how much he loves Norm goes down the drain?? At a most basic level folks, your child can be unplanned and still be loved, actually. Some might even say that that's... normal.

But do you get what I'm trying to say here? The assumptions much of the fandom has made about Sparrow and his love exactly reflect the toxic trains of thought that will probably be plaguing Normal's mind and feeding into his insecurities as the whole Hero thing develops?? And these insecurities (and again false prerequisites for love) are exactly what Normal needs help working through???

But let's move away from the Norm side of things a little bit, cause the assumptions being made about Sparrow currently are much more vast than this.

Let's make something clear. We don't know Sparrow's side of the story. We don't know Lark's side of the story. And of course, we don't know Rebecca's side either. We don't know if Rebecca did or didn't know about the prophecy. It seems that at this point in time, the spouses have had their memories erased. *Not necessarily* the case, but I genuinely can't fathom a scenario in which Cassandra somehow doesn't notice that the father of her child is always kind of a little bit on fire- and conspiracy theorist Rebecca to me also might hint at the fact that at some earlier point in time she would have known more about what's going on? But that's purely speculation, obviously.

So why are we suddenly so sure of Sparrow's intentions, feelings, and *role* in bringing Hero into the world?

I... Well I've been reluctant to bring this up even though the notion has been an itch in my mind since yesterday, but eventually you see enough upsetting Sparrow posts that someone needs to step up and offer something new I guess.

So... Allow me to suggest that, Sparrow being against the idea of having a child purely to fulfill a prophecy, and refusing to partake, actually makes *more* sense.

Most especially, if Sparrow was adamantly against going through with such a plan, we now have the most sound and in-character reason so far to explain... Why Lark slept with Rebecca.

(*gasp*)

As I see it anyways! Because, yeah, it's always felt like a weird elephant in the room, and I don't really feel satisfied with the existing theories at all! Someone with as strong as a resolve as Lark sleeps with the wife of the person who means more to him than anyone cause... He was horny? Or maybe as part of some strange convoluted ploy to push Sparrow away? I'm not saying these aren't still valid possibilities, and I'm not saying that this theory I'm proposing is what happened, really it's an assumption based on an assumption, but nevertheless I think it would make a lot of sense honestly.

(More specifically, what I'm suggesting is Sparrow not wanting to go through with the plan, Lark seeing it as a necessary evil to deal with the Doodler- and we know how hellbent Lark is on dealing with the Doodler, and accordingly "doing what needed to be done", as he is one to do, of course at Sparrow and at least in theory Hero's expense.)

This would also make sense of a lot of Sparrow's more extreme behaviors towards Normal, particularly the question of his name. Through this lens, it was perhaps an affront towards Lark (and possibly Rebecca??), an assertion to the effect of "no, you will not do this again, this child will not be doomed to be a hero". This, or something less aggressive but in a similar vein.

Of course this puts Normal and Sparrow at fundamental odds with one another! Er, despite being so very very similar which isn't what this post is about but still... Anyhoo, yes, there is an important conflict at play here, wherein Normal, as we discussed earlier, sees being the hero (the chosen one, what have you) as the only way to solve love, to be loved- and Sparrow who, more than anything else, doesn't want anymore heroes in the family, because he loves his family, and what happened with Henry... Can't happen again.

#Realized I didn't end up talking about Scary as I'd intended but perhaps she deserves her own post #BLUGH OKAY TALK ABOUT A POST THAT WAS WAY WAY WAY LONGER THAN INTENDED #dndads #dungeons and daddies #normal oak #sparrow oak #sparrow oak garcia #normal oak swallows garcia #dndads s2 ep 30 #lincoln li wilson #scary marlowe #GONNA POST THIS ONE AND IMMEDIATELY FEEL ANXIOUS OOPS #I FEEL LIKE I ENDED THIS ONE IN A WEIRD SPOT #EGH I HOPE THIS MADE SENSE... MAYBE I'LL DELETE AND REWRITE LATER IDK IDK #lark oak garcia #lark oak #I JUST DON'T FEEL LIKE I CAN GET MY THOUGHTS OUT RIGHT TODAY I FEEL ANXIOUS

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zeldabecameaqueen · 2 months

Text

hello qsmp enjoyers, here's my goodbye to a server that saved my days for a year now

i don't know what will happen with the qsmp in the future but i just can't put myself in it anymore

i feel disrespected by the choices Quackity's Studios made, as a french person, but also as someone who's been abused as a worker. I understand that the process may be long (every administrative stuff is hell) for the studio to solve the financial and hierarchical situation, and I believe Quackity did everything to solve the issue as fast as he could (it's a belief, at no point i'm saying this is the truth of course).

however, i do not agree with him being neglectful towards his own project, towards his own admins, towards the qsmp community, i do not agree with him being radio silent towards his employees/volunteers, not thanking them once they left, not communicating anything to them about their own future, i do not agree with him either being blind to their loudly expressed needs or purposely ignoring them, i do not agree with him telling everyone "stuff takes time" but also allowing new events to happen on the server, and i'm extremely disappointed in this whole situation, because it divides more than ever a community and a project that i, among a lot of other people, cherish since a year now, when simple mesures such as COMMUNICATION were ignored.

frankly i think that most of the people would have better understood and been patient if Quackity's Studios didn't keep on announcing new events like nothing was happening

the reason i'm not talking too much about the financial issue is that : 1. I believe finding a way to pay admins that are still in the qsmp is a priority to Quackity nowadays, along with firing those who mistreated the employees/volunteers ; 2. I believe they will find a solution regarding the incomes (merch actually being a means to pay the admins is one of them)

i'm writing this during qsmp awards, i know a lot of ccs will be there. i'm a little hurt and disappointed but at the same time, i know some of them have a personal relation to Quackity that we as viewers don't have, they have their reasons to trust Quackity, i just don't agree with them, but please, no hate towards them or to people who'll watch the future events

it's a goodbye even though no one knows me lmao (i spent hours and hours watching, filling the vods of timestamps, translating youtube clips, even drawing again since a long time, i filled in the qsmp fandoms, did presentation docs and put hours into spreadsheets of the ccs statistics), but know that being a part of this community was a life experience for me, in so many ways, i'm forever thankful for the people who made this project possible, i'll miss sharing my hyperfixation with you all

🎨 also, I saved a bunch of qsmp fanarts that I didn't want to rb because I didn't want to support in any way what was happening, i didn't want to make people feel like watching the streams was ok, instead, I wanted to let the most room for any info about the admins' situation

i realize now that it wasn't fair, their art comes from a place of love, and whatever their reason was to continue watching qsmp despite all that was happening is not my business. They did art, and good art, so i'll reblog the last qsmp fanarts and probably will continue to share some from time to time

🩵 big big thanks to the artists and the ccs for creating such an amazing universe, i hope you'll keep the spirit and maybe leave with good friends, and obviously i'm so proud of all the eggies (by that I mean their admins), who have spoken up and left a project despite their obvious love for it, thanks to Lea for starting all this, freeing admins from an unbearable situation they might have not even recognized as so at the time

i don't know if i'll be back, for now i need to step back, but if i see one day that the situation got all fixed and safe and that actual apologies were made, then maybe i'll come back to this unique qsmp (it'll certainly feel changed tho)

#it took me time to write this properly but i think i expressed myself the best way i could #english is not my first language and i'm really exhausted so pardon any mistake or confusion #i won't tag it as neg since i love this community i'm just telling my goodbyes and justify me leaving #qsmp #this one year anniversary is difficult #have a nice time on the qsmp for those who stay #all my povs got away with all of this lmao (but it's ok i mean there literally work abuse so)

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