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bitsandbobsofwriting · 3 years

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Merlin goes home for a little while, determined to enjoy a well-earned vacation;

Camelot immediately falls apart, with the sole exceptions of Guinevere and Gaius.

Merlin knows Arthur really well.

Which just means he knows exactly how to get him to let his servant go home for two weeks to visit his mother and relax a little:

“You just don’t want me to go because you know you can’t cope without me! Look, if you want to come with me, that’s fine, but you’ll struggle just as much there as you would here because I refuse to act as your servant in my own home.”

Arthur turns red, looking outraged as he loses the ability to speak. Merlin turns around before The King can see his satisfied smirk, tidying around the prat’s chambers with exaggerated annoyance as he just waits for the inevitable-

“Fine! Go! See if I even notice that you’re gone! Honestly, Merlin, the running of the Kingdom will probably end up going smoother without you here to mess things up, you bumbling idiot.”

Merlin grins to himself before schooling his face back into annoyance and turning around with a huff, crossing his arms petulantly:

“Fine!”

The servant decides that he’d better leave, what with the way he was struggling to keep the victorious grin from his face, so without waiting for a response, he “storms” from the room, slamming the door behind him as dramatically as he’s able when he hears Arthur yell:

“FINE!”

Merlin sets off at the beginning of the next week. Gaius had raised a disapproving eyebrow when his ward had told him how he’d gotten Arthur to agree to such a long vacation, but didn’t say anything. They both knew that the elderly physician thought it was funny.

Gwen and Morgana make sure to see him out of the castle gates with big hugs, and whilst all of the knights were meant to be training, it came as no surprise to anyone when Gwaine slacks off for half a candle-mark to say goodbye as well. Mordred shoots him a quick goodbye across their mental link as the servant walks away from the city, after promising Merlin that he would warn him if anyone was in any serious danger (”Serious danger only, Mordred, I mean it. If I get called home because Arthur is throwing some sort of tantrum, then I’ll act out your destiny for you.”).

Merlin’s journey goes smoothly. The world was hovering in the junction between Spring and Summer, but with a little magical manipulation, the Warlock had no trouble staying warm and keeping his feet beneath him on the uneven path. Unsurprisingly, the young man is a lot less clumsy when he doesn’t have to focus on keeping his magic locked away so tightly.

Two days after his departure from Camelot, his mother is greeting him outside her little house with a long hug and a wide grin, stroking a hand through his hair as she welcomes him home.

Coincidentally, that’s also about the time things started going to shit for everyone else.

It was just after noon when Elyan had to be carried to Gaius’ chambers, his whole body juddering as he struggles to draw breath, the lack of oxygen from his throat closing up mixed with the panic making his brain go fuzzy.

Percival holds him up from one side and Leon holds him from the other, the two of them bursting through the physician’s door just as Elyan’s eyes roll back in his head. Gaius looks up suddenly, obviously startled by the abrupt intrusion, but he swiftly focuses, eyes wide and assessing as he quickly points them to a patient pallet:

“What happened?”

The two knights lay him down as carefully as they can before standing out of the way as Leon forces out an answer, trying to catch his breath between words:

“I don’t know, servants brought lunch out whilst we were training so we stopped to eat and he just started... wheezing. We thought he was choking at first but he said he couldn’t breathe. Has... has he been poisoned? We stopped everyone from eating.”

Gaius had gathered a handful of odd looking dried leaves the moment Leon mentioned the food, recognising the symptoms of an allergic reaction and putting two and two together immediately. He crushes them in his hands quickly, knowing he didn’t have time for a proper mortar and pestle as he shoves the crumbs into Elyan’s mouth, following through with a vile of something green and gross-smelling

He massages the odd concoction down Elyan’s throat as best he can around the swelling, and lets out a relieved smile when the knight’s eyes blow wide open and he chokes slightly before swallowing it all, grimacing at the taste but breathing deeply as his airways open again.

Leon and Percival let out similar breathes of relief when Elyan begins breathing again, chuckling breathlessly at his disgusted groan. The door bursts open again before anyone can say anything, and Arthur strides in, his flushed cheeks and rumpled clothes implying he had sprinted across the castle in his panic.

He spots Elyan on the pallet, his deep breaths interspersed with the odd cough, and his eyes widen even further as he looks to Gaius for an explanation:

“A servant told me something was wrong, what happened?!”

The King loses a little of the tension in his shoulders when Elyan waves a thumbs-up in his vague direction, but still looks frantically between the two knights and the physician as he waits for an answer. Percival wordlessly moves to Elyan’s side, running a hand up and down the man’s arm as Leon looks to Gaius expectantly:

“He had an allergic reaction, likely to nuts in the food. He should be fine, but he needs a day or two of rest, and to come back to me immediately if his throat swells again.”

Arthur sags in relief, nodding his approval of Elyan’s needed bedrest, but Leon’s eyes go wide as he lets out a knowing noise:

“Of course! I forgot about his allergy, it hasn’t been an issue since we were kids.”

Gaius nods knowingly and begins reorganising the jars he had knocked over when the knights had startled him:

“Hmm. I imagine he watched what he ate carefully when he was travelling, but Merlin keeps an eye on all of your food now.”

Leon frowns slightly as he tilts his head in confusion, but Arthur beats him to the punch, asking incredulously:

“What do you mean, Merlin keeps an eye on our food?”

Gaius raises an eyebrow, holding in his smirk as he slowly replies:

“Well, Merlin is usually the one to bring food out to you when you train, is he not? And on days he can’t he always speaks with the kitchen staff to double check what food is going where. Sir Elyan is not the only one with an allergy, My Lord. Merlin always makes sure any food the seven of you are given is safe. He has a tendency to check the Lady Morgana’s meals as well, whenever he’s able.”

Arthur is too taken aback to reply, his mouth hanging open, but that is when Percival looks up from his place at Elyan’s side, a confused frown on his face:

“Why?”

Gaius doesn’t manage to hold his smile in at that, looking between the three knights, and Elyan, who has just about managed to regain his breath:

“To avoid situations like this, I imagine, and to check for poison. It’s not uncommon for assassins to try and lace the royal’s food with something or other.”

Arthur finally shuts his mouth, only to open it again, speaking slowly:

“So... Merlin checks all of our food?”

Gaius nods:

“Religiously, Sire.”

Leon and Percival just shrug, adding it to their list of Weird Things About Merlin That They Should Be Grateful For, and Elyan smiles goofily from his place on the bed (whether it was the lack of oxygen or something funky in the vial, the knight didn’t know, but he was definitely still feeling a little... odd), but Arthur just frowns deeper, muttering a distracted “Take it easy.” to Elyan before walking stiffly from the room.

The King makes quick work of the journey back to the council meeting, desperately trying to persuade himself that this was nothing to do with him not being able to cope without Merlin. Elyan was the one not coping, clearly. Merlin was still wrong and stupid and Arthur hadn’t even noticed that he was gone until Gaius brought him up (a lie, he missed him terribly, but shhh).

Leon and Percival look to Gaius in confusion when Arthur had almost stormed from the room, and the Physician simply smiles again, the amusement shining clearly in his eyes:

“Merlin persuaded Arthur to let him take a holiday by heavily implying that he couldn’t cope with Merlin’s absence.”

Percival snorts with laughter and Leon raises an eyebrow as he grins:

“Arthur took that as a challenge then, I suppose? Two days in and we’ve already got The King sprinting from meetings because a knight has collapsed from an allergic reaction... because Merlin wasn’t here...”

Gaius just nods, and Percival mutters an amused:

“This will be entertaining.”

Arthur steadfastly refuses to acknowledge that the next mini disaster, a few days later, was also down to Merlin’s absence.

Ok, so maybe it was because Merlin wasn’t here, but ultimately, it was Gwaine that messed up, not Arthur. So it didn’t count.

The knight came back from a night patrol that he’d taken with The King with an infected gash on his arm. Arthur grins teasingly as he describes to Gaius how the knight had tripped on a loose cobblestone and scratched his arm on the sharp edge of a stray cart at the beginning of the patrol, and Gaius hums disapprovingly as he unwraps the scrap of fabric Gwaine had used as a bandage:

“Did you not have any medical supplies in your pack? Or did you think it best to let it get infected so I had to wake an hour before dawn to deal with it?”

Gwaine swings his dangling legs back and forth from where he sits on Gaius’ table, pouting sheepishly as he admits:

“I looked, but there wasn’t anything helpful in there, usually the armoury-hands have them stocked up for the patrols, I guess they missed mine.”

Arthur rolls his eyes at Gwaine’s seeming ineptitude, but his scolding is interrupted before it even begins when Gaius shakes his head in disagreement:

“Hmm. The servants that work in the armoury only tend to check the packs every few weeks, and even then they only check if they need any repairs. Merlin is the one with easier access to patrol rotas, so he’s the one who stocks them up on a day to day basis.”

Gwaine just nods in understanding, as if he should’ve expected that, but Arthur’s smile drops as he unfolds his arms, getting over his annoyed speechlessness in a matter of seconds:

“You’re telling me that Merlin, my personal manservant, is responsible for all the knights’ patrol packs?”

Gaius finishes cleaning Gwaine’s wound, muttering a quiet apology when the knight hisses at the first poke of the needle, speaking slowly as he focuses on making sure the stitches were neat and uniform:

“No, Sire. Technically the knights are meant to take care of their own packs, but Merlin is a paranoid man, he likes to double check things to make sure everyone has what they need. I suppose some people got used to having it done for them.”

Gwaine winces abashedly, making a mental note to remind the others to check their packs before their next patrols, but Arthur rolls his eyes, crossing his arms again and immediately accepting that this little incident was therefore Gwaine’s fault, and not down to Merlin's absence.

The voice in his head sounded a little doubtful, but he ignores it, choosing instead to chide his rebellious:

“Do try to pay attention to your own responsibilities, Sir Gwaine, I’d hate to see something terrible happen to you because you’re unable to complete your own simple tasks.”

Gwaine just sticks his tongue out petulantly, looking away from The King before he can see the blonde’s rolled eyes. Arthur huffs at his childishness, turning around to cover his grin and speaking over his shoulder as he walks from the room:

“You will be on time for once, Gwaine, training starts in a few hours and I want to see you bright and early.”

Gwaine just smirks, waiting for the door to shut behind Arthur before moving his sly, curious eyes to the physician in front of him:

“He’s missing Merlin, then?”

Gaius just gives him a knowing glance before looking back down at the now stitched gash, gathering bandages:

“I’d imagine so, though he’d never admit it. Merlin implied that Arthur wouldn’t cope with his absence,-”

Gwaine interrupts him with a laugh:

“Hence his insistence that it was entirely my fault?”

Gaius nods wordlessly, and Gwaine snorts, shaking his head in amused disbelief.

Meanwhile, Arthur stalks back towards his chambers, eager to get out of his armour and get into bed; Gwaine had training in a few hours, but so did he, and he needed at least a little sleep. He purses his lips in annoyance as his gaze falls upon the clinical cleanliness of his room... George had been in then.

Look... Arthur being used to a slightly messy room did NOT mean he depended on Merlin. And Gwaine not being used to having to actually organise himself ALSO didn’t mean that Merlin was... ok. Maybe Gwaine relies on Merlin a little.

So that’s Sir Elyan and Sir Gwaine, two of The King’s most trusted knights, who can’t cope without Merlin. But Arthur is doing just fine. It’s been half a week and he is just. Fine.

Just fine.

It was the next day that things began going wrong a little more... drastically.

George wakes Arthur up for training on time because of course he does. Arthur had found himself losing out on a lot of sleep without Merlin insisting he go to bed at a reasonable time, and waking him up late; Merlin had gotten into the habit of snatching Arthur’s paperwork away and holding it out of reach until The King agreed to go to sleep, and somehow manages to fit Arthur’s entire morning routine into half a candle-mark. George would never snatch away Arthur’s paperwork, and he takes so much longer in the mornings meaning Arthur has to wake up earlier.

Not that Arthur would ever admit to enjoying his and Merlin’s unorthodox routines.

Eight more days to go, and he’s fine.

At least... that’s what he thought until a nameless guard approaches the training field, waving him over from his spar with Mordred. Arthur strides over quickly, annoyed at the interruption and nodding at the guard to speak as he drinks from his water-skin:

“My Lord, Lord Halbert and Lady Ethel have arrived. I believe they’re waiting for your presence in the courtyard.”

Arthur chokes, managing to turn his head to the side just in time before he spits a mouthful of water over the guards face. He quickly wipes his mouth and turns back to the pour armoured man with wide eyes:

“That’s today?!

The guard nods hesitatingly:

“Yes, Sire, would you like me-”

He’s interrupted when Arthur shouts a hurried:

“Fuck!” as he drops his water-skin and begins sprinting up the field towards the castle, desperately trying to calculate if he had enough time to wash and change before they got antsy with waiting. Probably not.

Seeing Arthur’s panic and hearing his loud curse, Leon hurriedly approaches the guard, putting a friendly hand on his shoulder as he speaks with a frown:

“Gavin? Is everything alright?”

The guard, Gavin, looks to Leon with a confused frown:

“It would appear that His Majesty... misremembered the date of Lord Halbert and Lady Ethel’s arrival.”

Leon’s eyes go wide and he glances quickly to the castle as he rushes out an exclamation identical to Arthur’s:

“That’s today?!”

Gavin just nods again, and Leon drops the hand from his shoulder, letting out a loud:

“Shit!” as he recreates Arthur’s sprint up to the castle, knowing that he was expected to be at The King’s side when welcoming guests. He doesn’t pause, even when he shouts:

“Lancelot’s in charge!” over his shoulder.

The knights all look to each other in amusement, but Lancelot quickly takes charge, running drills as if he had been doing it his entire life and trusting that, whatever it was, Arthur could get things sorted. And if Arthur couldn’t get things sorted, then Leon would get things sorted. And if Leon couldn’t get things sorted, then Merlin would... oh.

He glances worriedly to the castle just as Leon falls through the door, not bothering to shut it behind him in his panic. Oh.

Arthur lets out the deepest breath of relief he thinks he’s ever experienced when he sees George ahead of him in the corridor; he gestures him over hastily, making the servant jog to keep up with him as he continues his fast pace down the hall:

“I don’t care how many other servants you have to pull from their duties, but I need the castle prepped for Halbert and Ethel’s arrival right now.-”

Arthur barely pays attention to George’s faltering step of shock, just stops suddenly in front of the door that leads down to the courtyard, turning to the servant and putting both hands on his shoulder as he stares at him intensely, face flushed and breathing harsh:

“I need you to do this for me, George. Prepare guest chambers, send someone down to show them to the right rooms, and make sure the Kitchens know they’re feeding two extra nobles for three days, starting today. If you can organise all of that in the next two minutes, I’ll give you a raise and a Godamn hug, you hear me?!”

George gulps, his shoulders tense, his face pale, and his breath frozen in his lungs as he meets Arthur’s frantic gaze with wide eyes. He gives a shaky nod, instantly turning and sprinting down the corridor without a word when Arthur lets go.

Leon skids around the corner, moving to stand next to Arthur with his hands on his knees as he attempts to catch his breath, speaking in a slight wheeze:

“I... I left Lance... in charge.”

Arthur nods in approval, pulling Leon to stand before holding his hands out to the side, presenting himself for inspection. Leon takes one last deep breath, smoothing the training tunic over Arthur’s shoulders, attempting to rub the dirt from his nose, and brushing a quick hand through his hair before stepping back and holding his own arms out. Arthur pulls a leaf from behind his ear, but is otherwise satisfied, and the two of them turn to the door, schooling their faces and stepping down into the courtyard.

Arthur has a calm, welcoming smile on his face, and Leon stands stiffly behind him, hand on the sword that he luckily had on his hip as he stares blankly ahead.

The nobles seem taken aback at The King's state of undress, but don’t say anything, covering their shock quickly. Arthur’s hoping that his friendly attitude will just give the impression that he’s...approachable and slightly laid back, as opposed to just an idiot who forgot they were coming because no one had reminded him.

Gods. Merlin can never know about this.

Thankfully, the next three days went smoothly, or at least as smoothly as possible after Arthur spent an hour rifling through his old mail to try and figure out the original reason for Lord Halbert and Lady Ethel’s visit (watching their eldest’s knighting ceremony, and discussing with Arthur the potential for their youngest to move to the city to become a squire).

He waves them off in a much more regal manner than he had welcomed them, and keeps his promise to George, upping his pay slightly; though he exchanges the hug for an awkward pat on the shoulder, which he thinks both of them were grateful for.

He’d successfully made it through nine days. Semi-successfully. He’d just about made it through nine days.

Five more to go. But Arthur was feeling fine about those five days. He’d double checked all his mail, and made sure to find out when his patrols were scheduled.

Which is... unknown to Arthur, where the next problem stems from.

Arthur wasn’t the one to rota the patrols, he really didn’t have the time to sit down with a list of names and hours and times and maps and organise everything fairly, it was difficult and time-consuming, but he made sure that Leon knew exactly how many hours he could give up for patrol each week.

Apparently, the communication between Leon and the council was normally handled by Merlin, who wasn’t there. So whilst Arthur was enjoying a solo patrol along the city borders at noon, waving at citizens and making his horse do tricks for giggling children, the council were sitting around the table, waiting rather irately for his arrival.

Now normally, this could’ve been easily dealt with, but when the same guard from three days ago gallops over to inform him of the problem and take over his patrol, Arthur was reminded rather suddenly that Merlin was always the one that came up with sensible sounding excuses.

(He also makes a mental note to avoid that guard forever out of embarrassment.)

This was one of the very rare occasions when Arthur simply glares the council into submission. Normally he likes to work with them; he hates to feel like they're just doing what he wants because they were kissing his arse, but he has no excuse other than “I forgot.” and he felt like that was worse than just.. acting like a bit of a dick for five minutes.

So... yeah. Merlin wasn’t there to reorganise the council meeting around Arthur’s patrol, and then also wasn’t there to come up with an excuse for why it wasn’t reorganised.

Arthur makes it ten days before he admits to himself that perhaps he relies on his manservant just a little too much.

Four days later, Arthur had missed another council meeting (despite his best efforts), Lancelot and Mordred had accidentally insulted some visiting Lord (and had therefore been told not to leave their rooms until he had vacated the city), and Gwen was no longer speaking to him, on account of The King being a dick without realising because Merlin wasn’t there to rein in his ego and... well... dickishness. That, and his crown had somehow gone missing between yesterday morning and now.

(If that last one had happened even a week prior, Arthur would’ve been adamant that it had been stolen or something else equally not-his-fault, but with how quickly he’d been made aware of his apparent bad memory and social clumsiness, he had every faith that he’d just misplaced it, and Merlin would know exactly where to look.)

Arthur was sitting on the courtyard steps, tunic unlaced at the top and hair a mess when his servant finally, finally walks through the castle gates. The King perks up slightly, but refuses to give Merlin the satisfaction of being run to, so forces himself to remain in place. He was especially glad that he’d made that decision when he saw Guinevere spring over to greet him. He has a feeling she won’t be all that... welcoming, at least not yet.

Merlin wraps her in a tight hug and Arthur forces down the swell of jealousy in his lungs, especially when he laughs brightly and pulls back to clasp her shoulders. Arthur sees Gwen’s face fall at a question Merlin had asked and he gulps, biting his lip when Merlin frowns and raises an incredulous eyebrow at her response. She points in Arthur’s direction, and The King’s eyes go wide as he rapidly stands, failing miserably at looking as though he weren’t staring in their direction. Guinevere rolls her eyes before giving Merlin one last hug and walking very deliberately in the opposite direction to Arthur.

Merlin marches towards him, slight annoyance mixing with a secret eagerness to check on Arthur speeding up his normal pace significantly. Before the servant can say anything, Arthur grabs his wrist, pulling him up the steps and through the castle without a word, tugging harshly every time Merlin opens his mouth to demand an explanation for himself or an apology for Gwen.

When they finally reach his chambers, Arthur quickly locks the door behind him, whirling on an angry Merlin with flushed cheeks and a desperate look in his eyes:

“I swear Merlin, I will never doubt you again, but Elyan almost died, Gwaine got an infection, Leon and I forgot about Ethel and Halbert, Lancelot and Mordred are essentially under house arrest, I missed two council meetings, lost my crown, and now Gwen’s not talking to me. You’re never allowed to leave me again.”

Merlin freezes in place, staring at Arthur with wide eyes and an open mouth for a few moments before he bursts into laugher. Arthur huffs, crossing his arms as his blush deepens, but waits patiently instead of demanding that Merlin stop. Honestly? He may have been laughing at Arthur, but it was still the most beautiful sound The King had heard in two weeks, and he’d definitely missed it. Which is... something to think about at a later date.

Merlin finally relents, his dimples showing prominently as he holds in another round of giggles at Arthur’s red face. The servant drops his pack to the floor, stepping forward and not giving Arthur time to move away before he pulls him into a tight hug, sighing contentedly at the warm contact:

“I missed you too, you prat. You’ll just have to come with me next time and we can leave Gwen and Gaius in charge.”

Arthur huffs out a gentle laugh, finally wrapping his arms around Merlin’s middle tightly and burying his face in the slightly taller man’s hair:

“I did. Miss you, I mean. And I also mean it when I say you’re never going anywhere without me again, this has been a nightmare.”

Merlin snorts, tightening his grip on Arthur as if he were trying to squeeze all of the stress out of him:

“Co-dependency isn’t the healthiest thing in the world, you know.”

Arthur just huffs, refusing to let go as he petulantly responds:

“I don’t care. I’m The King, I can do what I want.”

Arthur can almost feel Merlin rolling his eyes, but the servant just laughs again and seems to nod in agreement:

“Hmm. That excuse is going to come back to haunt you one day. Heard you gave George a raise?”

The blonde tenses in embarrassment, now refusing to pull away so Merlin wouldn’t see his pink cheeks:

“Uh... yeah. He cleans too much and is shit at coming up with plausible excuses, but he did save my arse a few times.”

Arthur can feel Merlin’s laugh vibrate through his ribcage, and though the man was usually rather touch averse, he found he never wanted the feeling to stop. He found himself hoping that Merlin felt the same when The King chuckles at his response:

“Oh yeah? Does that mean I get a raise for being good at excuses and bad at cleaning?”

THE END!!!

Literally wrote this in one day so... sorry if it’s bad😅

Had no clue how I was going to end it until I got there, my thought process essentially just went “Hugs? Yeah. Hugs hugs hugs hugs hugs.” :D

Same as always lads, you wanna write it out in full or remix it or whatever, go for it, just drop me a message and credit/tag me :)

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altsvu · 3 years

Text

left in the dark

pairing: jj x kate callahan x bau!fem!reader, aaron hotchner x bau!fem!reader

wc: 1.6k

summary: you find out you’re pregnant with Hotch’s baby (in the most unexpected way) and you go to JJ and Kate about it since they’re also pregnant, but their only advice is to tell Hotch about it.

tw: pregnancy, fluff, mentions of blood/injury, breeding kink??

a/n: at first this was super hard for me to write, mostly because this is different than what i’m used to, but i think it turned out okay! enjoy my lovelies!!

criminal minds masterlist! ✯ taglist!

✯✯✯✯

“JJ! When were you gonna tell me?”

“I don’t know, I just wanted to wait till things played out.”

You smiled. “Well, I’m super happy for you regardless.”

“Thank you.” JJ smiled, pulling you into a hug. “So, how are things going with you and Hotch?”

You bit your lip. Hotch was the sweetest to you. He took you to romantic dates on off days and you always checked up on each via text messages and FaceTime when one of you were away.

Not to mention that your sex life was immaculate.

“Things are going pretty well, to be honest. We’re actually going to rent out the AMC movie theater in Arlington this weekend and watch our favorite throwback movies.”

“Oh, that sounds super romantic, I’m actually super glad that you two finally decided to get together after he was pining for you for years.”

You snorted. “We were both pining for each other. For a very very long time.”

“Yeah, the team had their suspicions.” JJ agreed. “You ready to head to the jet?”

You nodded and followed JJ out to the tarmac.

✯✯✯✯

You and Hotch had to go check out the crime scene, and it was a gruesome one. A family of 5 were bludgeoned in their home late at night, and the wife... well she had multiple knife cuts on her abdomen.

Out of nowhere, you felt sick to your stomach. This was unusual, especially for you since you got used to seeing many different types of crime scenes. You tried your hardest to breathe calmly but you felt yourself about to throw up.

“... he hurts them before finally killing them. Y/N? Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I just probably ate something bad-“ you couldn’t even finish your sentence when you found yourself running outside and throwing up. You wiped your mouth and took deep breaths, trying to process what just happened.

“Sweetheart?” Hotch whispered. You turned around and he held you by your arms. “What’s going on? This is very unlike you.”

“I- I don’t know what’s going on.” you replied. “This never happens.”

He pulled you into a hug. “Do you want me to take you back to the field office?” He murmured into your hair.

“No, you don’t have to. I’ll be okay.”

You caught Hotch still staring you down with a concerned look on his face.

“Damn it Aaron. Don’t worry about me. I don’t want to be the reason we don’t find this unsub in a timely manner.”

“Okay, you’re right. But can you please let me know if you don’t feel well?”

“Yes sir.” You smiled, pressing a kiss on his cheek and walking back to the crime scene.

✯✯✯✯

When you got back to the field office, Hotch had to talk to the field agent on the case in his office, and you had to go to the conference room to look over some case files.

Hunger then struck over you, so you headed to the vending machine you noticed earlier to find a snack to hold you over until lunch. The options that were there weren’t appealing to you, so it looked like you weren’t gonna be eating for about a few more hours. To your luck, Kate and JJ were in the conference room when you got back.

“Girls, I swear I’m gonna die if I don’t have anything in my system.”

“You want some saltines? It’s all I have.” JJ asked.

“Oh yes, please.” You nodded. JJ handed you a fresh pack.

You were so indulged in them that you almost finished the pack. JJ and Kate caught on

extremely fast.

“Are you pregnant too?” Spencer asked, walking in.

“What? What makes you think I’m pregnant?”

Kate sat next to you. “Well, for starters, you’re eating saltines.”

“Because I didn’t want anything at the vending machine.”

“There’s a pattern here. Kate ate saltines, I caught JJ eating saltines, and now you’re eating them.”

You sighed, putting the rest of the pack down. “Look, pretty boy, I think I would know if I were pregnant.”

“If you say so,” Reid answered with a smile on his face.

The rest of the team came in, and all thoughts of you being pregnant dissipated.

✯✯✯✯

Over the next few days, you had some of the same symptoms and you started to wonder if you were actually pregnant. You wanted to buy a test but it would be hard to do so when your job came first.

Soon enough, the case was closed and you were heading back home. Everyone on the jet was asleep except you and Hotch.

“Hey,” he said softly. “How you feeling?”

“Like eating a 5 course meal and throwing it back up.” you moaned, curling up closer to him for comfort.

“I’ll take you home and cook you a nice meal, okay?”

You nodded, mumbling “I love you” and he kissed your lips in response.

Finally getting home, Hotch did as he promised and you spent the night cuddling and comforting each other.

The next morning you felt yourself throwing up again so you decided it was time to get a pregnancy test. Hotch had already left to go back to Quantico to do some paperwork but the rest of the team was off. You dragged yourself to a nearby store to get a test and took it immediately.

Two lines.

How would Hotch react?

He always talked about having kids, in fact he almost got turned on at the thought of you with a baby bump. But the only thing was that he wanted things to be planned out.

You figured he was pretty busy at the moment so you called JJ and Kate and asked to come over to one of their homes. Ultimately, JJ invited you and Kate over.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” Kate asked when you arrived.

“I’m pregnant.” You whispered. Both of the women hugged you and congratulated you. They then sat you down at JJ’s dining room table.

“Does Hotch know?”

You bit your lip. “That’s the thing. He doesn’t really know yet. I don’t really know what to do.”

“Well I think the best thing to do is tell him. There’s no way that he would get mad. He loves you too much.” JJ suggested.

You nodded in agreement.

“Also, he’s gonna find out soon enough, so it would be better to just let him know so he expects it,” Kate added.

“You ladies are so right. I’ll let you know how things go!”

✯✯✯✯

When you got back home, Hotch was at the couch watching a show, but it looked more like he was about to fall asleep.

“Hi baby,” you murmured against his skin after ridding yourself of your outerwear and shoes.

“Y/N...” he whispered. He sat up and held you by your waist. “I missed you when I came in.”

“Yeah, I just went over JJ’s for a bit.”

Hotch nodded. There was a bit of silence between you two.

“You look like there’s something bothering you.” he then said.

You shut your eyes, trying to think of the right way to tell him. “Aaron, I’m pregnant.” you said so very quietly.

His eyes widened in excitement. “Y/N! Oh my gosh, I’m ecstatic! This is amazing!”

You smiled and laughed in joy with him as one of his hands sneaked under your shirt and rubbed your belly. He was now sitting upright with you on his lap.

“God, I don’t think you know how long I’ve thought about this.” Hotch hummed, kissing your bare skin. “All those times filling you up with my seed in the bedroom paid off big time. I can’t wait to see your belly grow and grow.”

You leaned down and kissed his lips. “Mmm, I can’t wait either.”

✯✯✯✯

It was just a matter of time before the rest of the team found out. You did not hear the end of it from Spencer when he figured that he was right the whole time.

Hotch, on the other hand, didn’t waste any time serenading and whispering sweet nothings about how you looked so beautiful with your ever growing baby bump to you every day after work, even sometimes during work too. He’d always say that he was just super excited that you were pregnant with his baby every time you asked.

Your pregnancy was so special to the team that Kate and JJ threw a surprise baby shower, in which everyone found out you and Hotch were having a little girl.

In a few short months, your due date was inching closer and closer, and Hotch was there by your side through everything, from when your water broke in the briefing room to when you were being rushed to a hospital room to have the baby delivered.

And finally.

You welcomed a baby girl into the world.

“She’s so beautiful. Just like you.” Hotch smiled and kissed your lips after you were able to hold your baby again.

You nodded in agreement, tears escaping your eyes. You thought about what your life was going to be like now, since you had a precious little one to take care of.

During your maternity leave, each member of the team came to visit you at home, some bearing small gifts for your baby.

“Hey,” Hotch came up to you one night after putting your baby to bed. He tucked your hair behind your ear and kissed the skin behind it. “Can I tell you something?”

“Mhmm, anything.”

“I’m really glad that we have a baby to take care of. I’ve wanted this for such a long time, and having it with you just makes it even better.”

You smiled in response. “Yeah?”

“Oh yeah. I love you so much, Y/F/N Y/L/N.”

✯✯✯✯

taglist: @storiesofsvu @averyhotchner @ssaic-jareau @blackbeautifulqueen @virgo-gf @mstrinnyb @mrshadeelgibson @ssahotchswifemain @anxiousblanketqueen @hotchsbabygirl @willowrose99 @ssa-sarahsunshine @deiondraaa

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thenonbinarycutie · 3 years

Text

Seen

rating: PG-13 for language

fandom: mind blind (IF)

pairing: kent x malachai (nb!OC)

word count: 3095

Like every night, I engage in a battle with the illuminated red numbers that mock me from the other side of the room: 2:12. If I were to fall asleep right now, I would be able to sleep for 4 hours and 48 minutes before I had to wake up. Less than ideal, but ultimately livable. God only knows how many days I’d survived on less sleep than that. As I contemplate how sleep deprivation would affect my performance in class the following day, the clock changes: 2:13. Now I would have 4 hours and 47 minutes of sleep.

Like every night, I’m losing my battle against my unknowing opponent, and so I turn over to face the blank wall instead. Watching the clock will not help me fall asleep. I start my usual routine, closing my eyes and slowing my breaths. Counting down from 100, breathing in on odd numbers, out on even. 99, in…. 98, out… 97, in… 96, out… I make it down to 40 before I give up. It’s not helping; I feel as wide awake as I did when I first laid down to sleep, which is to say, not at all. A quick glance at my nemesis shows the time is now 2:16 – 4 hours and 44 minutes left.

With no other recourse, I finally end up laying on my back, planning on thinking about everything and nothing. Like what always happens when I analyze thoughts and emotions, my hand instinctually goes to my chest to rub the necklace that Hope – no, I have to remind myself, Mom – gave to me for my 14thbirthday. But my hand only finds the oversized shirt that I’m wearing, with no black stone within reach. My hand flies up to my neck, where I now notice the lack of pressure from the woven cord. My necklace is gone.

Bolting upright, hand around my neck, I fly into a panic. It’s gone. My necklace is gone. The only long-lasting connection with Hope – Mom – is gone. The necklace that I adored as a child, always wanting to hold and rub its smooth stone, the necklace that my mother gave to me because she knew how much I loved it, is gone. The last bit of her that can stand being around me is now missing, lost as abruptly as she was. Of course, everything I love, everything I touch –

No. These feelings are not helpful. I accept that I feel guilty and upset and scared, but the feelings are not logical. Whereas my mother chose to leave, a necklace is incapable of choice. I left it somewhere, or the cord finally broke and it fell off somehow. I just need to figure out where.

I hop out of bed, pacing and shaking, mentally retracing my steps for the day. My brain is difficult to wrangle when on the edge of a panic attack, but focusing on a task helps. Today was Thursday. I woke up at 7. I got ready for school, had breakfast, and Kent drove me to school. I went to class. I ate lunch in the cafeteria with Sally. I finished class. Kent drove me home. He asked me to go to the dog park with him. I agreed – I definitely remember that I had the necklace at least up to this point, because I remember rubbing it while waiting for him to grab Cass and Annie. At the park, Annie jumped into the stream and got muddy. She refused to come out, so I went in to grab her. God, if my necklace fell off in the stream I am so fucked, - no. Continue. We walked back to Kent’s house. We hosed Annie off in the back yard. I was muddy, so Kent offered a change of clothes and to let me shower at his place. I showered at Kent’s – I showered at Kent’s. I would have taken the necklace off when I showered. Did I put it back on after?

I stop my pacing, and shake my arms and hands out to release some anxiety. My necklace is probably on Kent’s bathroom sink. Probably. Hopefully. It has to be. God, it’s 2 in the morning and I can’t exactly go over there to find it. But I have to find it. I have to. Would Kent be awake at 2am? Probably not. I shouldn’t bother him with something so stupid at such a late hour… but if I don’t figure out where my necklace is, it’ll throw me into a full-blown panic attack. I’ll call Kent. If he doesn’t answer, I’ll leave him a message, and ask him about it when he drives me to school tomorrow. If it’s not at his house, I’ll backtrack to the dog park.

Having a plan calms me somewhat, but my hands are still shaking as I grab my phone and make my way to Kent’s contact: the black square emoji. After pressing the callbutton and bringing the phone up to my ear, I sit on my bed and anxiously play with the collar of my shirt while the phone rings once… twice… three times… “Malachai?” Kent’s voice is lower than usual, and my whole body freezes at the sound of it. Did I wake him up? At 2am? On a school night? For a necklace? “Hello?”

“Hi.” My voice comes out more strangled than I would’ve wished, but at least it comes out. “I’m sorry if I woke you. Uh,” I stand and shake my free hand out, realizing how stupid I am for calling when a text would’ve sufficed. “Um, I think I left my necklace at your house? I’m sorry for calling about it so late. I just want to make sure that it’s there. It would, uh, be on the sink near your shower, I think? It’s a simple woven cord with a black stone fox on the end. I’m sorry again,” I say, hoping that he can’t hear me resume my pacing.

The other end of the line stays quiet except for some shuffling, which I take as Kent getting out of bed. Fuck, I can’t believe I woke him up for this. And then apologized for it three times within the span of two breaths. Even if it is there, he’s going to think I’m insane. This could have waited until the morning. “Yeah,” he pulls me out of my thoughts, “it’s here.” Thank God. I give a sigh of relief, which I hope isn’t picked up by my phone’s microphone, and my body instantly loses some of the tension I wasn’t aware was building up. Before I can tell him that I’ll grab it when we go to school tomorrow, he says that he’ll bring it over. As I start to protest, because it’s two in the morningand Chicago is cold at night, the line goes dead.

Assuming that Kent is already on his way over and there’s no point in calling him back, I throw on a pair of leggings. Kent may feel comfortable in opening the door with just a towel on, but I prefer wearing pants when greeting someone.

When I get downstairs, I’m faced with a new dilemma: I know that Kent will be here in just a few minutes. Would it be weird for me to wait by the door for him? Should I sit on the couch for two minutes? Pace around in the kitchen? What is the social etiquette for a sudden 2am visit that you’re expecting? Eventually I settle on sitting on the bottom of the stairs, and if I had my necklace, I would surely be rubbing at it in anxiousness. Instead, I tap my fingers on top of my knee and wait for the doorbell to ring.

It never does. Rather, a few minutes later, there’s a soft knocking on the door. Even though I was expecting Kent to show up, the sound surprises me and I stand up more quickly than intended. I take a deep breath to steady myself before walking over to the door and opening it. On the other side stands Kent, in sweatpants and a t-shirt, his hair standing up at every angle. Not many people can pull off the “I look ungodly attractive even though I just woke up” look, but it seems that Kent Zarneki has no issue with it. However, I ignore my attraction to him in favor of something more important: this man is wearing a t-shirt in 30-degree weather. “Jesus, Kent, you must be freezing. Come in!” I open the door wider and take a step to the side, so he has room to get through, and close the door once he’s in the entryway.

He looks me up and down – thank God I put pants on – and gives a small smile. “Did you wear my shirt to bed?” I feel blood rush to my cheeks as I look down and, indeed, I’m wearing the shirt that he lent me earlier today. Fuck.

“I don’t… I mean... Yeah. I did.” I cross my arms in front of my chest in a vain attempt to hide the shirt from him, and chastise him for his own shirt, “but at least I didn’t wear a t-shirt without a sweater or coat in nearly freezing weather.”

He doesn’t seem put off by my words, and just shrugs. “It’s a short walk.” Which, while true, isn’t a very strong rebuttal. I blow some air through my nose in fake-annoyance and give him an “I shouldn’t have to mother you” look. This, again, does nothing to phase him, as he simply grabs something from the pocket of his sweatpants. “This is yours?” he asks, opening his hand to show my necklace.

I let out a breath of relief, and gently take the necklace from his outstretched hand. “Yes. Thank you so much; I could’ve grabbed it from you in the morning though.”

“You sounded upset. I figured you would want it now.” I don’t put it on right away, but take a moment to rub my thumb on the smooth part of the black stone. Once I do put it on, one hand stays on it, rubbing the stone as if to make sure that it’s still there. His words are difficult to stomach – the fact that he could tell how I felt over the phone makes me feel… something. For the longest time, I hid my true emotions from everyone. It was easy: figure out who somebody wants you to be, and become that person. Analyze what they need, and give it to them. My entire life was an act, where people knew the character but not the actor. Kent seeing how I felt, and responding with such kindness… is something that I never imagined for myself. It’s nice… but also scary, in a way. The mortifying ordeal of being known, and all that.

Looking down at my necklace, I ask, “what tipped you off?”

“You apologized. Three times.” I once again felt heat rise to my cheeks, and hummed my response. The role that I play in front of Kent is generally calm and collected, and I didn’t know what exactly to say now that he’d seen through it. “Why did losing it make you so upset?” I tore my eyes away from the necklace to look at his face, analyzing it. His head is tilted to the side, his face mostly blank. Kent Zarneki is a difficult man to read, but I’ve had a lot of practice reading people. And what I find in him, in that blank curiosity, scares me. He wants to know me. Fully and genuinely. Not who I pretend to be, but who I am. Even Nick, the person who constantly reads my brain, doesn’t fully know me. We’ve been working on it, but fixing our relationship doesn’t come easily. In the back of my head, there’s still that voice telling me to make him hate me. To make him abandon me, so he can save himself form my path of destruction.

With a sigh, I respond to Kent’s question: a simple deflection. “It’s not a story best told in an entryway at 2 in the morning.”

“Would you rather move into the living room?” As someone who intrinsically understands people, it’s easy to forget how bad Kent is at social clues. But maybe this time, it’s for the best. I know that I should stop my acts, and Kent is giving me an option to open up. And if there’s one person I would want to open up to…

“You don’t mind staying up?” Kent shakes his head, so I gesture my arm to the living room. He sits on the couch, and I settle in next to him, leaning against the arm of the couch, hugging a throw pillow to my chest. I focus my eyes on my necklace, playing with it between my fingers, so I don’t have to look at Kent’s face. And I tell him. Everything.

“This necklace used to belong to…” Hope. “… my mom. She used to wear it all the time, and I loved playing with it as a toddler. The carved part is nice and bumpy, while the back is really smooth, which makes it a nice little… fidget…type… thing. I like to hold on to it when I get anxious. She finally gave it to me when I turned 14… and even though our relationship was strained at that point, I still loved it and rarely took it off.

“You know that my parents left when I was 16?” I glance up to see Kent’s silent nod, pushing me to continue. I take a deep breath to steady myself, knowing that this would be the most difficult part. “They left because they couldn’t be around me anymore.” My eyes return to my necklace. “My mom accidentally took control of my mind after we got into an argument. She couldn’t let go of me, and it almost killed me. Her and my dad left that night. This is the only bit of her I had for a long time.” I feel my cheeks getting wet, but ignore them in the hopes that Kent won’t notice. “I literally drove my mom insane, to the point where she couldn’t stand being near me. And my dad chose her over me.

“It made me realize I was made for destruction. I mean, in one fell swoop, I severed my family in two. I knew that Nick wanted to be with Mom and Dad. So I tried to push him away from me. I tried so hard to make him hate me, hoping that he would give up on me and choose to be with them instead. I didn’t want to hurt him in the way that I hurt my mom. But he stayed, he always stayed with me. It wasn’t until…” I almost killed him. “…everything,” I wave my hand in a general direction, “that I started patching things up with him and my parents. And it’s getting better, but it’s still hard. Part of me still feels like I’m a ticking time bomb. Like I’m just going to destroy everything and everyone close to me.” I bury my wet face into the pillow, not wanting to see Kent’s face. Not wanting to see him realize how fucked up I am, to see him leave.

Instead, I only feel a gentle pressure against my shoulder. I only hear him say, simply, “I’m sorry.” I’ve heard those two words a million times. From doctors, from my parents, from Nick, even from Sally, but never the way that Kent says them. He says them like he understands, and he knows there’s nothing more to be said on the subject. When he says them, he says them genuinely, which gives me the courage to look up at him.

I can’t imagine that I look very pretty, crying, with a runny nose, my hair in a mini messy bun, but all I see in his eyes is genuine concern. Like he’s looking past how I’m presenting, and instead seeing me. And it’s terrifying, and it’s exhilarating. His free hand grabs at the pillow, and his eyes silently ask if he can take it. I nod, and he moves the pillow to the ground, and gently pulls me closer to him.

I let him hold me, still teary-eyed, with my face in the crook of his shoulder and his hands tracing images onto my back. We stay like that for what feels like an eternity, in that comfortable sort of silence where people don’t need words in order to convey what they feel. He holds me until I stop crying, and my breathing returns to normal, and I feel worn out. “Thank you,” I whisper into his neck, and I can feel him nod before one of his hands makes its way up my back, into my hair. I raise my head, just a bit, to look him in the eye.

With our foreheads pressed together, looking into each other’s eyes, I know that he sees me. The real me. And he’s choosing to stay, to care. “Kent,” I whisper, my hands making their way up to the back of his neck, “kiss me?”

I hear his breath hitch, and he looks me in the face for a moment before responding, “are you sure?” After a quick nod, he presses his lips against mine. Romance stories often depict first kisses as “sparks”, but that’s not what happens between us. The kiss is gentle, kind, caring. It’s a kiss between people who understand one another, who know that this moment is not about simply starting something, but instead continuing it. And in that moment, I realize that even though I hadn’t told him the full story, Kent had always seen me. He’d known that I wanted my necklace back now, he’d known not to talk during my story, or try to give me empty platitudes. He’d known exactly what I needed, and gave it to me, even if he didn’t realize it.

I pull away from him, and press our foreheads back together. “I’m not letting you walk home without at least a sweater,” I say, and he presses his lips to the corner of my mouth with a small chuckle. “I’m serious. Consider it recompense, since I’m not giving you this shirt back.” And even with the mention of him leaving, we stay like that for a while more. Together.

#mindblind #mb #k zarneki #kent zarneki #mine

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sisterspooky1013 · 3 years

Text

As Ethan Sees It

Author:SisterSpooky1013

Rating: Mature

Words: 3698

Read it on AO3 Here

Tagging @today-in-fic

The first thing I’d noticed about her was how self-assured she was, particularly in contrast to her diminutive stature. I’d been grabbing lunch at a local deli between classes and some high school kids were picking on a third boy who may have been a classmate. Everyone in line was just ignoring it, looking away, when this tiny redhead steps out of line and walks up to the tallest, bulkiest guy in the group and tells him to fuck off, in so many words. She barely reached his shoulder and was probably 100lbs soaking wet, but she had no problem standing up for the little guy. After I picked up my order, I noticed her sitting alone at a table near the window and asked if I could join her. She was hesitant, but agreed and listened politely while I told her how impressed I was by her bravado with those kids. That’s when I noticed the second thing about her; her incredible smile. It was like the first burst of sunlight over the horizon in the morning, blinding in its beauty. I introduced myself and learned that her name was Dana, and she had just moved to DC to accept a job with the FBI. We talked for so long I missed my class, but I didn’t care. I was fascinated by her. Aside from being strikingly beautiful with rich auburn hair and porcelain skin, her blue eyes some intoxicating shade of blue I had never seen before, she was also wickedly smart. She seemed to know about everything, any topic that came up she could speak to, and I learned more during that 90 minute conversation than I probably would have if I’d made it to class. She was a doctor, and a scientist, and even the way her voice sounded was enchanting to me, the S’s softly sibilant as they poured from her pouty pink lips. She had realized the time and stood suddenly to leave, and I was so flustered by our impromptu date ending so abruptly that I stupidly forgot to get her phone number. The sinking feeling in my gut when I realized this fact, right about the time her cab disappeared into a sea of other cabs, still ranks as one of the worst moments of my life.

I thought about her every single day for two weeks. I talked about her every single day for two weeks, until my roommates begged me to either figure out a way to get in touch with her, or shut the hell up. All I knew about her was her first name, that she had recently graduated from Stanford, and that she works at the FBI. First I tried calling the FBI and asking for Dana, but they had more than one Dana who worked there and were unwilling to let me try them one by one. Next I contacted Stanford and was able to have a list of the last two classes of graduates faxed to me. Thankfully, there was only one Dana on that list; Dana Scully. I called back to FBI headquarters and asked for Dana Scully, and the next thing I knew she was on the line, her sing-song voice saying “This is Dana Scully.” My mouth went dry, I forgot how to speak, how to breathe.

“Uh, um, hi, hello.”

“…Who is this?” Her tone was the one I’d heard her use with the high school bullies

“Uh, this is Ethan? From the deli, a couple weeks ago?”

“Ethan from the deli? The guy who’s getting his masters in journalism?”

“Yep, that’s the one.”

“Oh! Hi! How…how did you get this number?”

“Well, I hope this isn’t too weird but I forgot to ask for your number and I remembered you said you worked at the FBI, so I kind of tracked you down.”

“Oh. That’s kind of sweet.”

I let out huge breath of relief.

“I’d really like to see you again, if you’re interested. It’s alright if not, I just couldn’t live with myself if I didn’t at least ask.”

She was quiet for a moment but he had a feeling she was smiling.

“I’d love to, Ethan. Do you have something to write with? I’ll give you my number.”

**********************************

The first real date we had, I took her to a fancy Italian place that my buddies said was sufficiently romantic. She let me pick her up at her apartment in Georgetown and when she answered the door, I nearly passed out. She had on a strapless blue cocktail dress and tall black heels, her hair down and soft around her face. Her lips were red and plump and I wanted to kiss her right then, but I knew it was too soon. I held doors for her and watched closely for her reaction, unsure if she was the kind of woman who found chivalry insulting, but she seemed to appreciate it. She was so petite and delicate, like a beautiful bird, but also had this incredible air of confidence that made her so captivating. I was careful not to outright stare at her, so I didn’t make her uncomfortable. She told me more about herself as we ate, what she had studied in school and the things she was doing now at the FBI academy, working in forensics. She asked me about my school and my plans for after graduation, and she really listened when I talked, asking thoughtful questions and wanting to learn more about journalism and broadcasting, so eager to know as much as possible about everything she could. I told some stupid joke, and she laughed, and I think that’s when I fell in love with her. That laugh worked its way into my bones, vibrated in my blood stream and sent a shiver down my spine. I had to imagine that the only reason she was single was that she was so new to the area, because a woman like this was never single for long. I didn’t want the night to end, so I asked her out to drinks afterward and to my delighted surprise she suggested that we have them back at her place. I didn’t want to assume anything, so I didn’t make a move, just talked with her more on her sofa, learned about her family and her childhood as an army brat, her love of reading and bubble baths, her fondness for children and animals. When she leaned in and kissed me, I thought that I may be hallucinating. Maybe I was having an intensely long, lucid dream. How did someone like Dana Scully cross my path of all the places on earth she might have been, and how did I have the nerve to approach her, and how was she interested in me, and how was it possible that right then she had her tongue in my mouth on her sofa?

We didn’t have sex that first night, but it wasn’t too long before we did. And it wasn’t too long after that that we decided to be exclusive, and 6 months later that I told her that I loved her. Two weeks after that, she said it back, and for two years, we were happy. It’s typically the case that when you’re newly in love with someone you have that divine infatuation that makes you see everything about them as perfect, but over time it wears off and the things that were once cute become annoying. That never happened with Dana. I was obsessed with her, everything she did was the most incredible thing a human could accomplish or be. Aside from the megawatt smile and musical laugh, she had this sweet little beauty mark on her lip that I loved to kiss. She was witty and skilled at debate, and we’d spend evenings arguing over something like the moon landing conspiracy before fucking like animals over the back of the couch. And the sex. Oh my god the sex. She was an absolute vixen in the way she played, teased, and ultimately delivered on every promise she made, and she would smile in this self-satisfied way when she came, looking me right in the eye like she’d tricked me out of my last dollar. She could be dominant, or dismissive, sometimes one then the other in the same night. She could be anything and everything, and she was.

I loved to hear her talk about her work and new assignments she was getting, and I was so proud of her and her goals and dreams. I wanted to be right beside her as she climbed the ranks at the bureau, and knew that she would be anything she set her mind to. She was equally supportive of me as I graduated and then worked my way up at a local broadcasting company with dreams of being a news anchor. She made me feel important and worthy, showed interest in the things that I cared about and was so loyal to me that she cussed out one of my friends for making jokes at my expense. We never moved in together technically (her choice) but we slept together at one or the other’s apartment every night, rented a movie every Friday, had dinner with her parents every Sunday. Her sister, who she was close to, seemed to like me okay, and her friend Ellen confided in me that she thought I should propose soon, that Dana was ready for that step. I picked out a ring, a slender gold band with a princess cut solitaire, only half a karat because I knew she didn’t like to be flashy, and hid it in my sock drawer. Our anniversary was coming up on March 23 and I decided to do it then, which was a little ways away, but I wanted it to be perfect.

For her birthday, I took her out to dinner and she had exciting news to share. She’d been offered an assignment with an obscure unit at the FBI, requested specifically by Section Chief Blevins for her background as a scientist. I didn’t fully understand what the unit did or why they’d want Dana for it, but it was something about unsolved mysteries, by the sound of it. She was so happy and felt like this was a great sign, her big break, the fact that Blevins even knew she existed and wanted her on this team was an indication of the reputation she was building for herself there. I bought a bottle of champagne, told her how proud I was and that I couldn’t wait to hear more about it. She let me know there would be travel, it was a field agent role, and that she’d be on the road sometimes. As much as I didn’t look forward to being away from her, I couldn’t help but share her excitement at this new step in her career. That night we had the most incredible birthday/promotion sex you could imagine. I made her come three times before she finally tapped out and told me how much she loved me, and how excited she was for the rest of our lives together, how much she appreciated that I understood that her career was important, and that I supported her. If we would have been at my place, I would have grabbed the ring and proposed to her right then, but we were at hers. So I just kissed her and told her that I was the luckiest man on earth because I had the opportunity to be her partner in life.

The first day of her new assignment, she was nervous. She’d heard some stories about the agent she was going to be working with, her partner, a guy named Mulder. He sounded like somewhat of an oddball, and a ladies man to boot. I made a joke about him staying away from my woman and she rolled her eyes, had me help her choose between the plaid suit or the maroon one, kissed me goodbye and told me that she loved me and I didn’t need to worry about this or any other male agent, or male person for that matter, stealing her away. That afternoon at the station I got a message from her saying that she had to fly out to Oregon for a case they were investigating, which caught me by surprise. She had said she’d be on the road, but I didn’t expect it to happen that fast. I heard from her only once in the three days she was gone, and when she came back, she was different.

It’s hard to explain in what way she changed. She was distracted, spacey, staring into nothing when we watched TV in the evening, not really listening to what I was saying when I told her about my day. She told me a little bit about the work she was doing, but she was suddenly guarded and defensive about what she did all day, most of her sentences starting with “Mulder says...” The phone would ring at odd times, she worked late or was out of town almost constantly. I felt her slipping away. I did all I could to make things easy for her when she was home. I did all the cleaning, all her laundry. I cooked her dinner each night, though half the time she would say that she had already eaten with Mulder. She didn’t seem as interested in kissing or sex, but she would let me go down on her and I did, every night, trying to hold on to her attention and her affection with my tongue on her clit. I tried to talk to her, to ask her what was wrong, if I should be doing anything differently, and she’d say “no, of course not. Everything’s fine, I’m just tired.”

Then it was our anniversary, and I made a reservation at the same place we’d gone to that very first time. I picked up flowers for her, dahlias which I knew she loved. I went by her apartment at the agreed upon time, but she didn’t answer the door. I used my key to enter and it was quiet and cold, no sign she’d been there anytime recently. I called her office at work and Mulder answered, said she was up at Quantico performing an autopsy and could he take a message. I just hung up the phone. I went to bed at her place, and when she finally crawled in at 3am she was startled to find me there. The way she looked at me made me feel like she’d forgotten I existed, and I didn’t even bother to remind her that it was our anniversary. I decided to start fresh the next morning, with a new plan. Maybe I was being too demanding, expecting too much. Maybe this Mulder was difficult to work with and she didn’t want to bother me with horror stories. I would just have to be the most supportive, accommodating, wonderful boyfriend possible, and we could come through this together. When I woke up, she was still snoring softly beside me. I slipped my head under the covers and pushed her legs open gently, sliding her nightgown up over her hips. She stirred and moaned as I pressed my lips to her clit, kissing her there before beginning to lap at her labia, two fingers sliding inside just how she liked it. She responded readily, flexing her hips and pushing her hands into my hair, and I flipped the blankets off my head so I could see her face. I loved the way she liked to watch me, to hold my eye as she went over the edge, so intensely intimate. To my disappointment, her eyes were closed, head back against the pillow. When she came, she didn’t look at me, didn’t say anything. I crawled back up to lie beside her and when her eyes met mine they were so full of sadness it sent me into a panic.

“Dana, what’s wrong?” I implored, seeing tears welling under her blue irises.

She shook her head and scooted up so that she was sitting with her back against the headboard.

“Ethan-“ her voice caught under a sob that she quickly swallowed down.

My stomach dropped. No, this can not be happening.

“Ethan” she began again. “I care about you so much.” Tears were falling now, trailing down her alabaster cheeks and dripping off of her angular chin. “I just don’t think I can give you what you need right now.”

My mind was racing, I looked around the room like there might be something, or someone, who could help me.

“I think it might be best if we took a break for a bit. Took some space from each other.”

I sat up on my knees and grabbed her arm, suddenly regretful that I had chosen to sleep naked.

“Dana, what are you talking about? We don’t need space. I don’t need space from you!”

She closed her eyes. “Ethan, it’s not fair to you. I can’t be available to you right now. My new assignment, I’m just so busy-“

“No, it’s okay, Dana. I know you work more now but I don’t mind, I’ll always be here when you come home. I support you, I support your work, you know that.”

Pulling her arm from my grasp, she stood and went to her dresser. Pulled on panties and then jeans before stripping off her nightgown and putting on a bra and sweater. “Ethan. Please don’t make this harder than it needs to be. It’s just not a good time for me, right now.”

“Is it that Mulder guy? Is he making moves on you?” I hated how desperate my voice sounded.

“No, Ethan. This has nothing to do with Mulder, he’s been nothing but professional. This is about me, and what I need right now. What I’m capable of. And I’m just not in a good place for a relationship, I’m sorry. I need some time.”

She was standing near her bedroom door, leaning against the wall with her arms crossed. She was ready to walk out.

“How much time? How much time do you need?”

She looked at the floor and whispered “I don’t know.”

I slid off the bed and went to her, dropped to my knees on the floor, wrapping my arms around her hips as I pressed the side of my head into her belly.

“Please don’t do this. We can work through it. I love you, I love you so much. I’ll do whatever you need, just tell me.” The humiliation of begging on my knees while nude makes my skin crawl to this day.

She put her hand on my head, petting my hair as she often did. I felt hot tears drip from her eyes and fall against my scalp. “What I need is for you to let me go” she finally said, and she sounded very sad but also very resolute.

“I’m going to go to my mothers for the day, and I’d like you to pack up the things you have here. You can leave your key on the table. I’ll call you soon, to see how you’re doing, okay?”

“Dana, no, I won’t let you go. Please let me try to make this better.” I clung to her like a child, physically keeping her from leaving me. She crouched down and kneeled in front of me, taking my face in her hands. She kissed me softly on the lips, once.

“You have been a wonderful boyfriend, Ethan. You have loved me so well. I don’t want you to think that this is your fault, okay? You are the best. I just can’t be with someone right now. I know you’ll be okay.”

She stood and walked out of her apartment, pausing once at the door to look back at me, naked and destroyed on the floor in her bedroom doorway, and then she was gone.

She didn’t call me, not in a day or a week or a month. She deleted me from her life like a file she no longer needed. I didn’t know how to explain to my friends what had happened, because I didn’t really know myself. I thought about her every day, ate at restaurants around her work and apartment hoping to catch sight of her, so we could chance a meeting and maybe she’d be willing to talk. When I finally did see her, it was at a sandwich shop a few blocks from the Hoover building. She walked in looking like…well an FBI agent. Now in a black, tailored skirt suit that fit her perfectly, her hair cut shorter and more styled, her heels tall and her posture confident. A man was with her, and my stomach turned at his hand on her back, the familiar way they stood close as they waited in line. He was remarkably tall with dark features, handsome in a kind of mysterious way. I wondered if that was Mulder, assumed that it was. They sat down and I watched her face, the intensity in her eyes and the curl at her lip, recognized the way her features danced as she talked about something she found interesting, the rapturous way she listened while her male counterpart spoke. I remembered when she used to look at me that way. She must have felt my eyes on her because she looked at me suddenly, registering surprise and then sadness, offering me a tiny wave as the man turned to see who she was looking at. I gathered the rest of my sandwich and chucked it in the trash can as I stalked out, suddenly having lost my appetite. I wanted to hate her, to be angry at her betrayal, her abandonment. I wanted to hate him, for taking her from me. All I could muster was the same hallow acceptance that I had my chance, and somehow let it slip away. I just hope that he appreciates her smile as much as I do.

#the x files #txf #dana scully #fox mulder #gillovny #msr #sculder #xf fanfic

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mulletcal · 4 years

Text

sundress seductress - a calum hood one shot.

a/n: okay SO, this is a collab piece w my twin @talkfastromance4 about a post we both saw about the perks of sun dresses. all the smut for the luke and calum hoes of the world. see her part here!

word count: ~2.9k (literally 18 words off from being 3k)

warnings: smut, all smut basically, light spanking, oral (male receiving), also mentions of receiving oral.

----------

If you had to pick a song for how you originally thought your summer would go, you probably would have chosen ‘Summertime Sadness’ by Lana del Rey. Cuffing season had come to an end, and so did the relationship you had gotten into mid-October. Your best friend had other plans for the two of you, however, and that’s how you met Calum - which drastically changed your impending summer plans around.

He made you flustered, but you did well in not showing it. When you first met, you would always end up with your legs tucked under yourself, leaning in to whatever he was saying. His words always captivated you, and mixed with his deep, smooth voice you knew that you were a goner.

The night he had everyone over at his, you offered to help stay and clean up, the rest of the group leaning on too drunk to function. You weren’t too much of a drinker, so having only had a single drink offered to drive your best friend home - But Ashton, recently sober, offered to be a designated driver to most of them. He always had mused to you that it was funny to be on the outside of things, especially driving your friends home because they often had something hilarious to say. Ashton also was aware of your crush on Calum, catching your pining looks more often than not.

As you assisted Calum in cleaning up empty bottles and cups, you noticed him tossing glances at you over his shoulder; unsure if it was just his buzzed state, or if something was wrong, you ignored it - figuring if he had something he wanted to say, he would. It wasn’t until you felt hands on your hips did you realize why he had been looking at you.

“Calum, what are you doing?” But you knew, you could feel him pressed into your back, his arousal apparent.

“I think you know, doll. Saw you lookin’ at me tonight,” He mumbled, brushing his nose against your neck. You shivered at the feeling, lacing your fingers with his and tugging them so his arms were wrapped around you more.

While you were very aware that you could have what you wanted right then and there, you were also aware that Calum wasn’t fully in the right state of mind. “While I would love to, because you do look exceedingly handsome tonight, you’re drunk and I don’t think we should. If you remember this, maybe some other time, yeah?”

Calum was silent for a moment, too silent, and you could slowly feel your chance with him slipping away. Taking another beat, he sighed, pressing his lips to your cheek, “I’m sorry. You’re right, you just look so good in that dress - couldn’t stop thinkin’ bout it.”

“No need to be sorry, but I’ll help you clean up and maybe we can chill for a bit longer?”

“You could stay the night, if you’d like. My bed is very comfy, and I’m sure Duke will appreciate the snuggles.” You couldn’t say no to his boyish charm, so you agreed. Nothing progressed further than a couple sweet kisses, which made your heart warm.

***

Your sleepovers with Calum became more frequent, but nothing ever going past some kisses, and maybe a little bit of heavy petting. The time never felt right to let it go further than that, in the back of your mind you were scared if you let it go there too soon it might wreck things between the two of you.

Waking up that morning, you had almost completely forgotten of your plans to go shopping with your best friend, her text asking what time you were picking her up acting as a shot of espresso to your system.

“Shit, sorry. An hour, if that works for you?”

She had agreed, and it wasn’t long before you were browsing the aisles of the store, on the hunt for a perfect dress. You had a plan in your head, a way to drive Calum crazy to the point where he would initiate the first move, instead of you feeling inclined to do so.

“I’m just nervous that after my ex, maybe having sex too soon will just make me seem easy.”

“Didn’t you just get done telling me how you went down on him in his shower last night?” She teased, eyes not glancing up from her phone. Swatting at her arm, you laughed before turning back to the rows of clothing, your eyes landing on a blue dress that looked nice.

Attempting to show her, you laughed at her flustered expression - you were happy for her, that her talking to Luke seemed to be going well, really well if the text you landed your eyes on had anything to say about it. It gave you an idea for your best friend to also finally drive Luke over the edge, and it worked because it could maybe go hand in hand with your idea for Calum.

***

The day had finally come, and a few hours before you had sent a text to your best friend:

“Okay, so I’ve been thinking. Your mans seems like he’s a very visual person, like wants to see the goods before he buys kinda guy. I’m thinking our plan should be: no panties. I know your dress is short but hear me out… If you sit across from Luke at any point, you have the perfect opportunity to flash him. And since he’s a visual person I feel like it won’t be long before you're bent over some sort of surface.”

It didn’t take long for her to respond with, “And what about you?”

“Cal seems more like a touch kinda guy. I’m guessing at some point there will be no open seats, so I’ll make a move to sit in his lap and casually put his hand on my ass so he can feel. I also have plans to dance on him so that would likely help push him.”

On top of everything else, you had painted your lips with a deep red lipstick that paired well with your dress, grinning at your own reflection as you sent a selfie to your best friend to see what she thought. With her approval, you were ready to go.

The BBQ was in full swing when you arrived, Calum giving you a big grin as if you hadn’t just seen him that morning. Casually walking over to him, you let his arms slip around your waist in a hug, slipping away teasingly before his hands could dip any lower.

“What kinda party is this, you gonna get me a drink handsome?” You teased, lacing your fingers with his to tug him over to the outdoor bar area.

“Damn hello to you too,” He said with a laugh, biting his lip as you watched his eyes drag over your figure.

After your first drink, you nursed another while you ate, attempting to put at least one plan of yours into action once you finished eating. Michael had gone into full DJ mode, and you glanced at your best friend who cocked an eyebrow at you before turning back to Luke. She had been sitting across from him, so you knew her plan was close to being put in place too.

Wrapping your arms around Calum’s neck, you swayed your hips with his, a small grin on his lips while he rested his hands on your lower back. Lifting your eyes to meet his, you moved one hand to meet his on your back, sliding it lower so he could feel that you had gone commando. His eyebrows shot up in surprise, the look in his eyes changing from amused to something you couldn’t place, and you continued to dance. At one point, you had turned around so you could grind your ass against him subtly - you knew he got the hint though, from the way his grip tightened on you.

It wasn’t much longer after that did you see your opportunity to strike. He had taken a break from your dancing, and you had been leaning against the bar to talk to Ashton - but Ashton’s attention got called elsewhere, so you decided to go and take a seat, and no open spots were available. Taking Calum’s hands, you moved them so you could perch yourself in his lap, ass brushing against his crotch with a bit more pressure than necessary. His fingers tightened on your thighs, giving you a warning look.

Over the next hour, every chance you got to shift in his lap, you did. Each time was met with some sort of sharp intake of breath, or a soft warning squeeze. Brushing your hands through his hair, you would occasionally drag your fingernails along his scalp - something that would typically make him fall asleep, but the combined pressure of your ass against him, and the pressure you applied as you moved your fingers across his head told him you wanted something different.

Excusing yourself, you began to head inside, tossing one final glance over your shoulder to see if Calum was watching, and he was. You figured the downstairs bar area would be the least obvious place for Calum to pin you against a wall; but it didn’t seem like he cared because he followed you inside almost immediately, arms snaking around your waist as you stopped.

“Where do ya think you’re goin’, angel?” Calum asked, his voice low and husky. You could feel his length pressing against the small of your back, just like it had the night at his house.

You licked your lips slowly, tilting your head to look back at him, “Was thinkin’ we could go somewhere more private.”

Without saying another word, you tugged on his hand, giggling softly as he crashed into the doorframe to head downstairs. He gave you a small pout, ultimately succumbing to his own bout of giggles. As you reached the bottom of the set of stairs, it didn’t take long for Calum to press you against the nearest wall, his right leg going between your thighs and pressing against your core.

“Wish we had more time, so I could tease you for being such a fuckin’ tease. But who knows, anyone could walk in at any moment and see you like this, so we should get a move on, hm?” His leg applied more pressure, causing you to gasp and grab ahold of his forearm.

You wasted no time in grinding yourself against his leg, whining at the friction against your bare center. Fingernails digging into Calum’s arm, he moaned softly and dipped his head to nip at your neck - at that moment you had absolutely zero care in the world if he marked you up, as long as it meant you could have him.

“That’s enough,” he murmured, pulling his leg away, “Princess is so needy, aren’t you? Take anything that I’ll give you, hm?” His large hand cupped your chin, forcing you to look up at him. You knew he liked to be in control, or you had at least assumed, but seeing him with the dark expression on his face sent electricity coursing through your veins.

Your hands found the buttons to his pants easily, while he worked on his shirt - you were grateful he decided to lose the shirt, because you wanted to be able to leave your mark on every square inch of shoulder and back that you could. His length wasn’t unfamiliar to you, but knowing where the next few moments were about to lead, you shivered with excitement and pumped him with your hand in agonizingly slow strokes.

“What’d I say about bein’ a fuckin’ tease?” He whispered lowly into your ear, hands slipping around to cup your ass. “Gonna wrap your legs around me princess?”

Nodding, he lifted you to the best of his ability, you wrapping your legs around him, noting the way he groaned softly at the feeling of your platforms digging into his back. He took a moment, using his knee to support as he grabbed his length, teasing it against your entrance. Without another warning, he pushed inside, holding his breath as he sunk in inch by inch.

You had to fight to quiet your moan, lips capturing his in a deep kiss as he began to move his hips slowly, small grunts escaping his lips. You tried your best to meet his hips, but you came to realize no one had told you how difficult sex against a wall could be. It caused you both to giggle when your ass slipped down the wall, Calum quickly tossing a glance over his shoulder for an alternative.

Both of you gazed the same direction, eyes landing on a bar stool, and he met your gaze with a grin. Calum let your legs down, and you chewed on your lower lip as he slipped out of you, sighing at the loss of him. He guided you gently to bend over the stool, hiking up your dress to rest over your back.

“So pretty like this, wish I had done this sooner,” Calum said, hands roaming over your ass, delivering a soft spank that had you reeling, pushing your ass back against him to encourage him to do something, anything else. When he finally pushed back into you, the new angle had him dragging across every right spot.

“Baby fuck me, please,” You whined, pushing back against him once again as he started his slow rhythm that he had before. His hands kneaded your backside, which lead you to moan into your arm, attempting to keep at least mildly quiet.

Calum didn’t care, his speed picking up and the sound of skin meeting skin was evident to probably anyone who happened to pass by the doorway. His moans were short, needy, as he rolled his hips into yours - shifting so he could hit the perfect spot that would send you hurtling towards the edge.

You weren’t sure if it was the fact that it was so risque, the two of you fucking in someone else’s house not hidden somewhere not to be found, or the fact that the two of you had so much sexual tension built up - but the moment he hit that spot, you cried out, very aware that you were going to hit your peak sooner than you would have liked.

“Cal, cal, cal…” You whispered, knuckles turning white from how hard you gripped the stool.

“Cum for me baby, it’s okay to let go,” he moaned, his hand delivering another smack, more rough this time, against your ass. The feeling of his hands, the feeling of him was too much, and it sent you over the edge, moaning his name quietly as you did so. He fucked you though it still, your sensitivity in overdrive; his thrusts only slowed when you came down, leaning forward to brush a piece of hair behind your ear, “Princess, m’not gonna last much longer either, I don’t wanna make a mess on this pretty dress of yours. Can I use that pretty mouth of yours?”

Calum’s words, the huskiness of his voice could’ve driven you to your second orgasm of the night, but he took your whimper as a yes, pulling his length from you leaving you feeling empty. He coaxed you to your knees, holding your hand as you went down so your shaky legs didn’t make you tumble.

When you got settled on your knees, you took him into your mouth almost immediately, taking him a little too far and gagging at first. You pulled back a little bit so you could bob your head, flattening your tongue along the underside of his length. His moans in response encouraged you, bobbing your head faster and using your hand to work what you couldn’t fit.

Looking up at him through your lashes, you saw him with his head back and eyes closed, letting out breathy moans as you did so. His fingers tangled in your hair, his hips moving on their own and whispered a soft, “Gonna cum baby.”

You angled your head, letting him to continue to thrust into your mouth before you felt the warm, salty liquid hit your tongue, Calum letting out quite moans as he came down. When you were sure he had come down, you cleaned him up, using his forearms to stand up, placing a sweet kiss to his lips.

Calum had just pulled his pants back up, and was about to begin buttoning up his shirt when you both heard a door open, only to reveal Luke and your best friend walking out with flushed expressions that you were sure matched yours and Calums.

“Oh shi--”

“Uhh--”

“Hi!” your best friend laugh nervously trying to break the very obvious awkward situation.

“Were you guys in there--?” You asked.

“Yup,” you nod trying to make the situation pass more quickly.

“So...we were out here having...and you two--” Calum points at you and Luke “--were in there having--”

“Yeah,” Luke sighs, grabbing your best friends’ hand and tugs her along past the two of you. You heard him whisper, “Tell fucking no one.” And it made you giggle.

Giving her a thumbs up as she glanced at you, you both laughed before you turned your attention back to Calum, “Sundresses have some perks, eh?” You grinned, swiping at his lip from the red lipstick remnants that were there.

“We’re gonna finish this when we get back to my place,” He said with a smirk, resting against the stool you had been previously bent over.

You had gone to go up the stairs, but turned to look at him over your shoulder, swiping your thumb across your bottom lip before sucking it into your mouth, “Think you already did handsome, but good try.”

tag list: @haikucal @talkfastromance4 @softbabiestan @boyfriend-cal @calum-uncrowned @wildflowerirwin @irwindoll @gosh-im-short @atlcalm @thesubtweeter @heavenisapeach @ridingcthood @loveroflrh @wokeupinjapanisabop @mantlereid @inlovehoodx @irwinkitten @sexgodashton

#calum hood #calum hood smut #calum hood one shot #calum hood blurb #5 seconds of summer one shot

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anathewierdo · 3 years

Text

Call of the Ocean Chapter 29: Pop Goes the Weasel

Pairing: CEO!Mechanic!Dean Winchester x Mermaid!Reader

Word count: 5038

Chapter summary: After a long and crazy night, Thasman and Roan are still not in great terms. Dean and Y/N set “Operation Lock the Idjits Until They Talk” in motion.

Series summary: CEO of Winchester Auto Dean Winchester has had enough of the office life. With his father keeping him from what he wants to do, which is work on the plant floor, Dean decides to leave for a quiet life. In Matagorda, Texas, he finds something he never thought he would, a chance encounter with a mythical creature.

Call of the Ocean Masterlist

A/N: Chapter 29 is here!!!! Who else is excited for what’s to come?? This series is a collaboration with @flamencodiva . Text dividers were made by the awesome @talesmaniac89

Next chapter of Call of the Ocean will be posted this Saturday, December 5th

Y/N came down from her room the next morning, feeling as content as ever. She and Dean had gotten back from their date with Y/N smiling from ear to ear. She missed sleeping next to him but she wanted to see how Roan spent his night on his date before the get-together at noon. Reaching the kitchen, she noticed Roan sulking over a cup of coffee.

“How was your date?” she asked, startling the merman.

“Good,” he shrugged.

“Will you see him again?” she poured herself a cup of coffee and frowned at Roan’s face. “What’s wrong?”

“Do you know where Thasman is?” Roan questioned. “He wasn’t here when I got back and I was wondering if he decided to stay at Dean’s dwelling last night.”

Y/N frowned, “I haven’t seen him.” She looked at him, “Did something happen last night?”

Roan’s grip on the coffee cup tightened, “No. Nothing happened. I was just wondering.”

Both Y/N and Roan turned their heads as the door to Ellen’s home opened, revealing Thasman. He stumbled in and made his way to the couch, clothes disheveled and hair a mess. Roan and Y/N looked at each other before Y/N made her way to Thasman.

“Thas?” Y/N called.

“Shhhhh!” he moaned. “You’re too loud.”

Roan purposely ignored his request, voice rising in volume, “Where were you?”

“I was with Jeff,” Thasman sighed. “Why do you care? You were with Andrew,” he moaned. “I need bacon.”

Y/N gave him an apologetic look even though her friend was busy digging his face into the couch, “Ellen’s already left for work and we don’t know how to make it. Sorry, Thas.”

Thasman let out a whine, “I’m going to shower and change. Maybe I can get something at Bobby’s. He’s going to give me one of his cars to fix. He said I could keep it.”

“Thasman where were you?” Y/N asked gently, seeing the glare Roan was giving Thasman.

“I’ve told you. I was with Jeff,” the merman whined again, bracing himself up and off the couch. “Now let me go shower.”

“You can wait a few minutes. Who’s Jeff?” Y/N grabbed him. “What happened last night?”

“I spent the evening watching movies and drinking with Cas. We went out, drank some more. I met Jeff, and then I went home with Jeff. And now I’m here. And I really need to shower.”

Y/N sighed, “Fine, but you are telling me everything,” she warned him.

Thasman waved her off as he made his way to the stairs, “Heh, heh. Ugh, tala em lli hngukk.” (Yeah, yeah. Ugh, I feel dead)

“I have never seen Thasman like that,” Roan huffed. “What was he thinking?”

“Roan?” Y/N watched as he began to pace.

“Ili em llii gahfooruu,” he muttered. (I am feeling anger)

“Roan,” Y/N whispered softly as she placed a hand on his shoulder. “Em dal dehffoo?” (are you sad?)

“Something could have happened to him.”

“Like something could have happened to you?” she pointed out. “He seems to have done what you did Roan. He’s trying to move on,” she turned away from him and smiled to herself.

Roan was jealous and her plan could work. She walked to the kitchen and poured herself some cereal.

“How was Andrew? Did you have a good time?” Y/N asked.

The merman ran a hand through his face, recalling the events of last night numbly, “It was fine. Pleasant, even. Just not a big deal.”

“Did you kiss?” Y/N grinned. “What was it like? Will you see him again?”

“No. I asked him to bring me back here and that was it. He’s very nice, I just didn’t… feel anything.”

“Oh?” Y/N raised her eyebrow at him. “I guess if Thasman stayed out he must have had fun.”

At the mere thought of the implication, Roan stood up, quick as lightning and heading towards the front door in search of fresh air, “Toh. Toh, he didn’t do that. No. He probably just… passed out on the Cheehuuii’s dwelling.”

“You’re calling the man he met a seaweed?” Y/N giggled. “Are you jealous?” she ate a spoonful of cereal and smiled at Roan. “I thought you wanted to move on. It’s what’s best. Besides, if you move on, what made you think he wasn’t going to?”

“No!” he exclaimed, then backtracked quickly as he realised how that sounded. “I mean, yes, but… It’s like he said, you’re the only one out of the three of us that can actually stay here. He’s going to end up heartbroken like he lectured us so many times.”

Y/N’s lips formed a thin lined smile as she took in Roan’s words, “It looks like you’re already heartbroken.” Y/N huffed, “But at least Thasman seemed to have had a good time. He deserves to be happy. He’s always in his head. He thinks he isn’t worthy of anyone being with him,” she confessed. “He seems to think that he isn’t worthy of any kind of affection and that people will leave him.”

That stopped Roan in his tracks, “He still thinks that?”

“Why wouldn’t he?” Y/N shrugged. “You kind of abandoned him. He was willing to change for you and you broke him. You broke both of you.” The princess had been holding all of this in for a month, “He may be stubborn, but he does things because he doesn’t want to be abandoned. He’d rather sacrifice his own happiness for everyone else. He saw you moving on so… he decided he needed to as well.”

Roan stayed silent as Y/N looked out the window, “Dean is still home. I guess he hasn’t started his preparation for today yet? Want to head over and see if they’re okay with us helping out there?” she suggested.

Roan nodded, numbly thinking of what Thasman did, being in that dwelling with the human. His heart hurt at the thought of Thasman moving on. And yet, he knew Thasman had felt the same. Pushing the thoughts aside, he rushed to his room to get dressed for work. It was fun, but he missed being with his dolphins. Maybe he could find the time to swim with them on his next visit to the cave.

––––––––––––––––––––––––––––

Dean hated the silence in the house as he woke up to make breakfast. Looking over at Ellen’s house, he sighed. Maybe he should have asked Y/N to stay over again? But she said she wanted to be there when Roan and Thasman woke up. He could understand that. As he moved around the kitchen, he heard two groans coming from the living room. Tilting his head, he walked over.

Big mistake.

There on the living room floor, covered in one of the couch throws Y/N had bought for him, lay Cas and Meg. Bodies intertwined and snuggly from what looked like a night of passion. As he looked at the couple laying on the floor, he had a wicked smile on his face. He kind of hated to embarrass Meg, but he had to embarrass Cas in some way. Dean smiled when Meg woke up to use the restroom, not bothering to cover herself up as Dean turned away and heard as she closed the bathroom door.

Slowly moving around, Dean laid himself down next to Cas and smiled. Clearing his throat, he made his voice slightly higher.

“Clarence,” he said, trying not to giggle. “So big and strong.”

Cas let out a small moan as he turned and wrapped his arms around Dean and snuggled into him.

“Meg,” he whispered, “you feel different.”

“Clarence?” Meg appeared and raised her brow at what Dean was doing. “If I knew you boys swung both ways we’d have been having loads of fun.”

“It’s senior year all over again,” Cas groaned as he leaned in and kissed Dean’s cheek.

“Dude,” Dean chuckled. “That was one kiss and while it was nice,” he kissed Cas’s forehead, “I’m afraid it’s not for me, Cas.”

“Same here. Shame you’re not my type,” Cas winked, pushed away from him and motioned for Meg to come back into his arms.

Dean got up and smiled, “Bacon?”

“God yes!” Cas groaned. “We took Thasman out last night and he went home with someone.”

“He did?” Dean rushed back. “No way?!”

Castiel stood up slowly, one hand remaining on his forehead to somehow calm down the headache he had, “He drank, danced, flirted, and left. The whole nine.”

“Yeah,” Meg agreed, “as soon as we got there, a guy came up and asked to buy him a drink. Mind you, I think he and Clarence had a pre drinking party,” Meg chuckled as she told the story.

“He loved Titanic. Hated the ending, but loved the movie. He also turned out to be a huge fan of Mr. Bean.”

“Of course he did,” Dean grinned, amused. “But he left with someone. I mean… he really did let go, huh? Does that mean the plan is out the door?”

“I guess,” Meg shrugged. “Or maybe it was just a one-night stand. I mean, people have rebound sex all the time.”

“Yeah, maybe,” Dean said as he looked over and smiled, seeing three familiar bodies heading towards the house. “Speaking of, I think we’re going to have company.”

The couple stood up immediately, starting to look around the living room, “Where did we put the rest of our clothes?”

Dean chuckled as he watched the couple scramble to find the clothes they had thrown all over the living room. He smiled when they grabbed what they could find and made their way to Cas’ room. Dean had just grabbed the bacon from the fridge when a knock on the door made him smile once again. Walking over, Dean opened the door and smiled at Y/N and the two men behind her. The sight of a pained-looking Thasman made him try to keep his laughter in but he ultimately failed.

“Rough morning, buddy?”

“Need bacon,” Thasman groaned. “Ellen never taught us how to cook delicious sweet bacon.”

He opened the door further, motioning for the three to enter, “I got some in the kitchen, man. Come on in.”

Thasman hugged Dean, “You have been promoted to clownfish!”

“I’m guessing that’s a good thing,” he patted Thasman’s back.

“It is,” Thasman chuckled. “Oh, and I was wondering if I could invite the man I met last night?” he gave a side glance at Roan wondering what the merman would do.

This was one of those times where Dean was grateful he’d been part of the school play in high school, “You met someone last night?”

“I did and--” Thasman bit his lip. “It was good. I--” he chuckled nervously, “I guess you can say the whole world felt as though it was shaking?”

“Oh my god, Thas!” Dean smiled. “Sure, give him a call. Tell him he can come around.”

Roan swallowed the lump in his throat and tried to smile, but it hurt. He could see a small glint in Thasman’s eye and he looked at Y/N for help.

“I think it would be nice to meet him,” Y/N said softly, giving Roan a squeeze. “You can call him after you’ve gotten your bacon.”

“Yes! I like that plan!” Thasman clapped, walking towards Dean’s couch and flopping on it face first. “Right after I sleep some more.”

“Must’ve been a hell of a night.”

Y/N elbowed Dean slightly as her eyes glanced at Roan’s hurt expression. Y/N sighed and pulled Roan away from the group for a bit.

“Are you going to be okay? You can call Andrew and have him come over?” she suggested.

“No, I’ll be fine. Who knows? Maybe Jeff will drop dead unexpectedly or perhaps he has something else to do,” Roan breathed as he looked at Thasman who settled on the couch with sunglasses over his eyes.

“It’s a good thing you have moved on, right?”

“You win,” Roan sighed. “I don’t want him with anyone else but me. But what can I do now? Maybe Jeff makes him happier than I ever could,” he whispered to Y/N.

Y/N smiled in victory, “I’ll talk to Dean. We’ll come up with a plan. You and Thas are getting back together.”

“I guess he did more than just sleep with the Cheehuuii,” Roan said bitterly. “I guess I deserved that. It’s fine your highness.” Roan gave her a teary smile, “I guess it really wasn’t meant to be.”

Before Y/N could stop him, Roan made his way past the couch to the back porch to stare at the beach, Thasman’s loud snoring the only noise for the moment.

After about an hour, everyone was back inside eating breakfast. Thasman, much to Roan’s dismay, was gushing over the Cheehuuii’s apartment.

“And the way it overlooks the town is amazing!” Thasman smiled but there was something not right about it and Y/N could tell. “He said he could show me around on his boat sometime. He works for a local fishing company.”

“Cheehuuii em setannor,” Roan muttered. (sea-weed is curious but dangerous person)

Thasman rolled his eyes and cleared his throat, “I’ll give him a call later and see if he wants to come. We talked about so many things, Y/N!” he looked at Dean and smiled. “He said there was a place called an Aquarium where they have a lot of different sea creatures that they take care of. Some are rare, others are rescued who have been hurt.”

“Oh yeah, I’ve been there,” Meg commented. “It’s really nice. Small, but nice. With you guys being such fans of the ocean, I think you’d love it.”

“It does sound nice,” Y/N smiled at Thasman. “But Thas, are you sure you’re okay?” she gave him a pointed look.

“Tala em ghood,” Thasman assured her, giving her his fakest smile. (I am good) “I promise. Now, I need to make my way to Bobby’s. I need to start fixing up that car if I’m going to keep it. I’ll be back once I’m done with what I have to do today. Meg would you give me a ride?”

She nodded in response, “Sure, Thas. Ready to go when you are.”

“I’m ready now,” Thasman said, ignoring the looks Roan was giving him. “I’ll see you all later.”

––––––––––––––––––––––––––––

Y/N helped Dean get the house ready for the barbecue. She had given Roan something to keep him busy and made her way to the kitchen to clean up that morning’s breakfast.

Dean stood behind Y/N as she helped clean up the dishes. His lips found her neck, leaving a trail of kisses; the moan she released making him smile against her skin.

“I love it when you make those sounds,” Dean admitted.

"I think I am distracting you too much," Y/N said as she turned in his arms. "Maybe we are spending a little too much time together," she teased.

“Y/N,” Dean pouted. “I can’t help it if you are the most beautiful, sexiest woman I have ever laid my eyes on.”

Y/N blushed and kissed him, “We should focus on the barbecue.” She caressed his cheek, “I’m not going anywhere Dean.”

“Please don’t,” he pleaded.

“I won’t. Not soon at least.”

“If you do have to go back, even for a little while,” he placed his forehead against hers, “at least give me a heads up. Who knows,” he gave her a small shrug, “maybe I can go with you and see what your island is all about.”

The comment had Y/N shaking her head softly, “You can’t go, Dean. I’d love it if you came but you can’t. It’s very complicated to get there and, well, you saw what that website said: We are a very closed off place. We just barely started to get out.”

Dean nodded his head, “I get it. I don’t want to cause you trouble. But it would be nice to learn to speak your language. Maybe you can teach me some of it?”

“Hhu-hng,” Y/N said with a smile, placing her hand on his chest. “It means heart. Dal em my hhu-hng. You are my heart.” She smiled a bit, “Our language is a bit of a mystery, some words we have. Others we borrow.”

Dean was smiling wide both at her words and her willingness to teach him. He hummed in understanding, “Can I get that little phrase once more?”

“Dal. Em. My. Hhu-hng,” she said slowly her hand still over his heart as she gazed deeply into his eyes.

“How do you say ‘have’, Princess?” Dean whispered as he caressed her cheek.

“Bi.”

“So if I were to say…” he paused to consider what could be the correct phrasing. Letting the words out slowly, “Dal bi my hhu-hng. Would that be right?”

“You have my heart, too,” she said with a bright smile. “You are a very quick study. You will be speaking it in no time.”

“I have an amazing teacher,” he shrugged playfully, giving Y/N a quick peck before stepping out of her embrace. “I’ll help you finish cleaning up here, then I have to go outside and start the grill, okay?”

“Sounds good.”

“Hey, is the plan still standing? I mean, Roan did go out with someone last night and from the looks of it, Thasman had a one night stand.”

“It is alive and well. Roan hasn’t moved on. They’re gonna talk and hopefully go back to friendly terms again. I can’t take any more of their fighting and arguing.”

“I know, sweetheart,” Dean reached over and moved her hair behind her ear. “I just hope Thasman’s one night of fun didn’t ruin anything. I mean have they ever…” he trailed off.

Y/N shook her head, “I never asked.”

“Well, I guess we can try and lock them in one of the rooms later, but I’m scared Thasman’s going to break one of the doors down. He is freakishly strong.” Dean rubbed the back of his neck, “Do all the guards on the Island have his strength?”

“As far as we know, he’s the strongest,” she explained. “It’s one of the reasons he was appointed to me. If anything were to happen, he’d be strong enough to fight it off.”

“That makes sense,” Dean nodded as he put the last of the dishes away. “You ever made salad before?” he wondered. “I know being a princess, they probably have had you sheltered but… Maybe Ellen taught you how.”

“She did. I’ll go get Roan, he can help me make it.”

“Okay,” Dean smiled. “I’ll be cleaning the grill. Benny and Andy should be here soon.”

The rest of the morning flew by in a blur of cooking, cleaning, and setting everything so the barbeque would be ready. Benny and Andrea arrived just in time for Dean to start manning the grill with Roan and Castiel. Y/N had ended up sitting in one of the chairs they’d brought outside.

––––––––––––––––––––––––––––

Eventually, Thasman made it back from Bobby’s with a package from Al’s and soda (he had hated the drink since the first time he tried it, but everyone else liked it, so he always bought some in case anyone wanted it). He sat next to Y/N as Roan walked up and looked around.

“No, Cheehuuii?” Roan commented, much to Y/N’s displeasure.

“He couldn’t make it,” Thasman gave Roan a smile. “Besides, you have no room to ask a question like that. You decided we were done and I’m moving on,” Thasman huffed. “Em dal gahooraa?” he sneered. (are you jealous?) “I would have thought you would have been happy to get rid of a stingray like me. Everyone leaves me eventually,” he stood up and glared at Roan. “It’s only a matter of time, right?”

“Dal em a stingray, Thasman!” Roan growled. “Maybe that’s why people leave you! Because all you know how to do is put your happiness on hold for others. But when it’s time for you to be happy…” Roan licked his lips, “you would rather let it go up in flames than fight for it. Enjoy your Cheehuuii, he em lusa,” Roan spat before storming inside. (Cheehuuii = Seaweed and Lusa = Someone Who Would Fail To See A Mermaid Right In Front Of His Face).

Thasman closed his eyes and swallowed the lump in his throat at the words Roan spat at him. Taking a slow deep breath, he shook out the uneasy feeling of heartbreak and plastered on a smile.

“I’m going to go hang out with the guys,” Thasman announced as he made his way to where they were huddling around the grill.

Y/N leaned over the table to reach out and pour herself a glass of whiskey, “This is going to be a long evening.”

As the evening progressed, Thasman could be seen laughing with the rest of the guys after a few beers. He seemed to be teaching them a few phrases in mermish, or as the guys called it, Sindartan. They seemed to get the hang of it fairly quickly.

Eventually, the barbeque was ready and all the food was laid out on the table for each to take their pick. The three merpeople, particularly, seemed to love everything the most. Y/N had her pick of a few of what she remembered Dean had said was Ribs from when they had their day in Houston. She also filled her plate with an ear of corn, potato salad that Meg had made, as well as a piece of flat iron steak.

“Where are you going to put all that food?” Andrea asked.

“Hopefully in my stomach!” Y/N laughed as she took a seat next to Dean.

By strategy, everyone had placed themselves quickly so that Thasman and Roan were sitting across from each other.

“Stingray,” Roan hissed.

It came out as more of a hurtful word than a term of endearment.

Thasman gave him a small glare and in the same tone muttered, “Feenhoom.” (Sea-dragon)

“At least I didn’t spread my fins for a Sesmuna (human) Tala oosoyyo (I don’t know),” Roan huffed and shook his head before digging into his food angrily.

And that’s where the slew of mermish began with Roan and Thasman going back and forth; their speech too fast for anyone other than Y/N to try to follow. The princess sunk in her chair, covering her face as the two mermen jabbed at each other with their words. Meanwhile, the others just watched in both awe and awkwardness as the mermen spit phrase after phrase in their language.

Dean nudged her gently, causing her to take her face out of her hands, “What are they fighting about?” he questioned quietly. Although, a tornado could appear and Thasman and Roan probably wouldn’t notice.

“Roan just called Thasman a man whore, I guess is what you would call it,” Y/N breathed. “They’re mad at the other going off and trying to move on,” she closed her eyes and tried to calm her anger but she could hear the distant sound of thunder rumbling.

The fight continued on, effectively ruining any conversation anyone else was trying to have, and Y/N’s faith and patience on both mermen to fix their issues was wearing extremely thin. She blindly reached out for Dean’s shirt and tugged him close, desperation and anger burning in her eyes.

“Do you have a room we can lock them in?”

“I do but how are we going to get them in there?” Dean whispered looking at the two men who were now standing glaring at one another.

Y/N gave him a grunt of approval, “I got it.”

She stood up from her chair and screamed at both mermen to shut up. Her royal voice shone through and, little by little, Thasman and Roan shrunk in shame. And she was very glad that Dean and the others could not understand a thing of what she had just said.

“I’m sorry, Your Highness,” Thasman bowed but glared at Roan from the corner of his eyes.

“Toh, Thasman.” Y/N raised a hand to stop the merman from speaking further. She ordered both to follow her inside the house and motioned for Dean to accompany them.

Both men followed behind her with heads bowed, neither seeing the room they were being put in. Y/N stayed by the door with Dean behind her, watching as her friends entered the room.

“Your Highness, please let me--” Thasman shut his mouth when Y/N held her hand up.

“This has gone on long enough,” she snarled. “You both will stay here until you either are friends again or one of you decides it’s best if you leave and go somewhere far away.”

Roan’s eyes widened at the implication, beginning to plead at her not to do this.

Y/N stepped back quickly, “Now, Dean.”

Dean moved quickly and closed the door just as Y/N stepped out. The door was heavy and made of metal and he hoped that keeping them in the spacious garage would be better than a room in his house. Roan rushed to the metal door and banged on it.

“Your Highness, please don’t do this!” Roan called. Silence followed for a few seconds before a small bang and a groan were heard on the other side of the door.

“You okay, buddy?” Dean checked.

“Let us out of here!”

“Absolutely! When you and Thasman talk your problems out.”

With that said, the couple ignored Roan’s pleading and went back to their friends and barbecue. Y/N apologized for the scene that had taken place and was met with reassurances that it was fine. In Cas’ words: “It was a little entertaining to hear them talk in your language.”

An hour later, Dean and Y/N were back outside of the room they had left their friends in, listening for any sign of more yelling. After four full minutes of pressing their ears against the door met by nothing more than hushed whispers,Y/N sent Dean a worried look.

“You think it worked?” Y/N bit her lip.

“I mean, we could always open the door?” Dean suggested.

She gave the thought little consideration as she stepped away from the door and motioned to it, “Do it.”

Dean nodded as he unlocked the door and reached for the handle. Internally counting to three, he opened the door and froze at the scene he saw. There on one of the tables, both their shirts off, Thasman and Roan were pawing at each other. Y/N poked her head and gaped at the scene. Placing her hand on Dean’s, who still had it on the door handle, she pulled the door closed and took in a deep breath.

“I guess we can say that it was successful,” she croaked looking at Dean.

“Mission accomplished, partner,” he chuckled as he raised his hand for a high five.

Y/N reciprocated it and nodded numbly, “Do we just leave them in there? Or…”

“Let’s give them some space. I have a feeling it will take a while for them to come out,” Dean wiggles his eyebrows. “We have ice cream for dessert if you want. Those two getting back together after all that fightin’? We’re celebrating, sweetheart.”

“That sounds like a delicious idea,” she agreed as she walked hand in hand with Dean back out to tell the other’s the good news, leaving Roan and Thasman to rekindle their relationship.

Walking back to their friends, Dean’s phone rang from inside his pocket. Checking the number, he looked at Y/N before giving her a small kiss on her lips.

“I need to take this call, you go ahead and let the other’s know it was a success,” he said, caressing her cheek.

“Okay,” she kissed him again before walking away.

“Ketch!” Dean smiled. “Please tell me you found something on the picture of that dagger I sent you.”

“Honestly,” the british man said, “it’s a real mystery.”

“Really?” Dean glanced out into the back porch where Y/N was laughing at something Benny had said. “What do you mean?”

“I mean I have never seen or heard about anything that remotely resembles the pictures you sent me.”

“Not even the inscriptions?” Dean raised his eyebrow at what his friend was saying. “There has to be some trace of it I mean… you ever heard of a place called Sindarta?”

“The worst part of it was the inscriptions, Winchester.” Ketch retorted. “You think I would be calling you a month late if I had found an answer? There is no language, no writing, scribbling or doodle that even looks like the ones you sent me.”

“I see,” Dean whispered as he looked carefully at Y/N. “Thanks Ketch. If you find anything on it will you call me back?”

“I will,” the man promised. “Is there any way you can send me the actual artifact? Maybe we can have it analyzed here at the university?”

“No can do, Ketch. The dagger isn’t mine.”

“That is a shame,” he sighed. “Would be nice to have something to try and cross reference. But from a picture it is difficult.”

“Yeah,” Dean cleared his throat. “Thanks for calling, Ketch. I owe you one. You ever in Matagorda, I can fix up your car for you. Got my own garage if you ever need me to rebuild the engine on your car.”

“I’ll try to take another look, see if I can find anyone back in England who can help out,” Ketch chuckled. “This will stump them, I’m sure of it.”

“Yeah, I gotta go man,” Dean swallowed the lump in his throat. “Good luck.”

“Thank you, Dean. I’ll call as soon as I have more news.”

Dean hung up his phone and looked out towards the back yard. His eyes were fixed on Y/N, wondering what mysteries the girl had that would result in a completely unknown civilization.

SOOOOOOO WHAT DID Y’ALL THINK?? Our jellyfish are back together! Finally!

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simpmeon · 4 years

Text

Red: Companions

Pairing: Any Demon Brother x Gender Neutral MC, Diavolo x Gender Neutral MC Genre: Angst Word Count: 2k Rating: PG-13 Warnings: Cursing // Implied Smut

The Fall // Rebirth // Betrayal // Companions // Revenge

His ability to charm all those he comes in contact with and how they all love him and all of them fell for the same lies he told you. You may have been the only one that those words may have been true to, but you didn’t care at this point. Every promise, every whispered affirmation, every touch he placed on your body was a lie. He was a liar and a cheater.

And you will have your revenge.

The masquerade was everything you expected it to be. You saw all the exchange students that followed you and each one left a more bitter taste in your mouth than the last. One seemed to be hanging off every brother, asking for the one you fell in love with and where he was. You could see the annoyance on their faces as they grabbed onto their arms and held their hands, begging for a dance. They were the one directly after you, a demonologist who dedicated most of their time to studying the demon brothers, both before and after the program. You could feel the disgust and anger waft off of them with every passing second. The one after the demonologist was a spoiled wizard who only saw their place as the new ruler of Devildom, only getting to the brothers to get closer to Diavolo. The third and fourth housemates were apparently twins that went down in different years. Those two did not not even bother showing up, citing fear of being eaten as their excuse, and the fifth housemate just strutted through the door, hickeys covering their exposed neck as they entered arm and arm with the demon you fell in love with.

None of the brothers had really noticed your presence yet, but that was your own doing. Slinking between demons, hiding in the kitchen and hallways, standing behind Diavolo’s massive frame, anything to keep an eye on those fiery red locks and the other brothers. You wanted a dramatic reveal that you were not only a demon, but that you died with him being the last thing on your mind. You basically hung onto Diavolo all night, your composure eliciting praise from Diavolo.

Diavolo’s big speech was almost here, where he would introduce all of the exchange students that came before you, humans and angels alike. All of them were hanging out in a special room chatting away, but you mostly hung around on the outside of the room. Inside you could see Luke and Simeon, as well as Solomon, telling their stories of the first exchange program.

“I heard the first person to live with the brothers was a descendant of Lilith! I must see if they match my sketch of Lilith!” The demonologist would squeal gleefully. Simeon would only laugh and go to describe Lilith in great detail from what he could remember. The demonologist ate up every word the angel breathed, ecstatic to meet one of the highest ranking angels in the entire Celestial Realm. Luke and Simeon have yet to mention the fact that they saw you fall to the Devildom, probably because you haven’t spoken to them since they last saw you on the pathway to the Celestial Realm.

Poor Luke was still getting doted on by the angels and humans alike, his blush getting redder and redder with each head pet. Solomon was the only one who seemed to have noticed that you were behind the door, listening in and watching. You two would sneak glances at each other, almost conversing telepathically between each other. He was just as fed up with the other humans as you were which was refreshing to see. His eyes were glued especially on the one with fire red hair. No one really mentioned the fact that all the humans had a ring of some sort around their necks, all the humans giving some excuse of your old flame giving the rings as parting gifts to them so they would never forget their year in Devildom. You felt your body go rigid as they would talk about their times with the brothers and their times with your lover.

EX-lover

You had to remind yourself of that as you fiddled with the ring around your neck. Something that brought you immense comfort now brought nothing but pain to you. You had physically died twice in your life now, but the pain you felt whenever you would touch the ring was worse than any death.

You felt someone’s hand on your shoulder, and your head snapped up to see Solomon looking at you with worry. The two of you walked further down the hall, away from all the commotion to be shrouded by the dim light of the candlelit hallways. You had been texting Solomon about your plan to reveal yourself at the masquerade, however he did express concern with the idea. Having not had the chance to speak face to face about the situation, he pulled you further down the hallways until you could barely hear the words from the room.

“Are you sure you want to do this? What if you lose control?” Solomon whispered, hand grabbing yours.

“That’s what Diavolo is for and that’s what you’re about to be for.” You replied with a chuckle. “If you make a pact with me you’d be able to get me to stop with a simple command, right?”

Solomon’s eyes shot open at that, completely in shock before relaxing with a smirk. “So. You’ve been a demon for a little less than a year and you want to make a pact with me?”

“If you don’t want to you don’t have to. I’ve known you for five years now…I agree that you’re a shady little shit but ….you’re my closest friend.” You said, squeezing his hand. “But I would like to make one with you one day.”

Solomon sighed and ran his free hand through his hair. “Listen Y/N, you’re powerful and would make an amazing pact mate considering you had all seven of the strongest demons I’ve ever known under your belt, but you’re not stable enough right now. Have you even been in your demon form tonight yet?”

“W-well. No. Dia wants it to be a surprise! And plus, if I was in my demon form heand the brothers would’ve saw me and so would Red over there and knew something would be up! It was easier to just maintain my normal form and slink around.” You explained, a light red tint on your cheeks.

Solomon smirked and let go of your hand to rest it on the wall, his free hand on his hip. “And what were you slinking around for?” He asked, amused.

You took a deep breath, blush tinting your cheeks at his playful tone. “I just wanted the rundown on those who came after me, and how they treated the boys. From what I’ve seen they’re all insufferable except for Red, but then again they showed up late so I couldn’t get a good read on them. They all seem to have no clue who I am.”

Solomon sighed again, now opting to lean against the wall with one leg and his arms crossed, although there was still that mischievous smile on his face. “That’s because the other students don’t know about you besides what they gathered themselves. I think the brother’s decided it would be best to not mention you and to stop comparing you to the other exchange students, for their sake. One of the few perks of having a twenty-four seven access point to this place is that you get to pick up on behaviors. For a whole month after you left Lucifer would grumble about how you were late with his coffee only to realize you weren’t there….Leviathan didn’t leave his room for three months….Belphegor slept in the attic more…even Satan began slipping back into his old habits of leaving books everywhere and untouched. I know Beelzebub stopped eating for a while and Mammon was almost never home, working constantly and then immediately spending the money….hell even Asmodeus stopped taking care of himself because you weren’t around. Do you know how annoying he can be sometimes? How many hours I spent cuddling him? Ugh, it was annoying.” He grumbled. “Don’t even get me started whenever Asmodeus would swing violently from being horny to being depressed.”

“Awww was someone tired of being the top?” You jested, poking his arm and giggling at the blush that took over his face. Getting Solomon embarrassed was such a delight because of how rare it happened.

“No! That’s not it at all! I’m just a very busy man.” He muttered, turning his face away from you to hide his blushing cheeks.

“Mhmm…of course you are wizard boy. Now go back into that room before Simeon goes searching.” You giggled, pushing Solomon gently, but he still managed to almost get slammed to the ground. The minute Simeon’s name left your lips, you frowned. How was Simeon? How was Luke? How were they handling the news…

“Why don’t you go in the parlor yourself?” Solomon asked, fixing his suit and tie, almost reading your mind. You pursed your lips together and gripped the ring that swung from your neck. Solomon picked up on the shift in your mood easily, once again standing closer to you. “Is it because of the exchange students?”

“They’re…..one of the reasons.” You answered, spinning the ring between your thumb and index finger. “Simeon and Luke were the ones to watch me fall…and I just don’t want them to know what I’ve become… not yet…”

“Oh…Simeon did mention that to me. He asked about you. Luke did too.”

“…What did you say?”

“That you became a demon. I didn’t tell them anything past that. Luke didn’t want to believe that, especially since they saw you on the way to the Celestial Realm. Simeon beats himself up almost everyday that he stood there and watched you fall from the heavens. Apparently Luke was practically beating him, yelling at him to save you with tears in his eyes. Simeon said he was crying too. They even went to Michael about asking God to save you, but by then you were already a demon and although you sinned as much as the next guy, the pacts with the brothers are what ultimately made them deny you passage.” He answered.

“Oh…” You muttered, biting your lip. So they did know about you being a demon after all. That’s good at least, the shock won’t be too bad for them then.

“Having sex with them also didn’t help your case.” Solomon added with an evil smirk.

Now you were a blushing, sputtering mess making Solomon laugh out loud. You pouted and crossed your arms, cheeks still a nice tint of pink. Solomon smiled and swung an arm around your shoulder so his laughter was right by your ear. He pressed a cheeky peck on your temple before flashing the peace sign and walking back into the parlor with the other students.

You watched him from around the corner as he entered back into the parlor, the warming glow of the candles casting orange light in the otherwise black hallways. You could smell the cinnamon and you could hear the laughter of all the students and part of you wishes you would have the courage to force yourself to walk in there, but you were too scared. Too scared of seeing Luke and Simeon and having their guilt take over them, too scared to see Red and to be bombarded by those who were just cheap replacements, not to mention the other angels who you’ve never met before.

You sank down the wall, legs outstretched and arms crossed one over the other. You thought about the hickeys on their neck, how miserable he looked to be walking in with them, disguised with a smile. The way his brothers treated him like a stranger….how every exchange student under the same roof was enthralled by them. How cute for him to prevent them from entering the Celestial Realm and for leading them on because of his ways. His ability to charm all those he comes in contact with and how they all love him and all of them fell for the same lies he told you. You may have been the only one that those words may have been true to, but you didn’t care at this point. Every promise, every whispered affirmation, every touch he placed on your body was a lie. He was a liar and a cheater.

And you will have your revenge.

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topsytervy · 3 years

Text

Book Lovers ~ Pope Heyward

Blurb: You have a crush on Pope and Pope has a crush on you. Your love for books brings you together.

Word Count: 3,376

Warnings: swearing, poorly written towards the end cause I'm bad at ending writings, probably spelling/grammar errors, I think thats it.

I started writing this as a whole bond over books thing and then it kind of got away from that a bit but not really I don't think.

Also, the way i was going back and forth between writing this and something Calum Hood related cause its his birthday and I love him was insane.

~~~~~~

You sat on the beach on a towel, a book in hand as the sounds of screams and waves filled the air.

Not too far away sat Pope, staring at you as JJ, John B and Kie surfed. He watched as you brushed some hair behind your ear before turning the page, completely engrossed by whatever it was you were reading.

"Are you serious?" Pope jumped as his head swiveled to look at the voice that spoke.

Kie stood there, surfboard under her arm with an eyebrow raised, the two other boys behind her.

"What?" Pope shrugged, acting as casual as he could.

"Really? Playing dumb Pope? Thats JJ's job." She answered, setting down her board and sitting next to him.

"I take some offense to that, Kie." JJ told her which only caused the curly-haired girl to roll her eyes.

"Just go talk to her, Pope."

Pope widened his eyes. "Are you crazy, Kie?"

"If talking to someone you like is crazy then have me committed but last time I checked it was normal."

"What would I even talk to her about?"

"Oh, I don't know. She's only reading a book. Gosh if only you read." Kie told him, sarcasm dripping from her voice.

Pope sighed before getting up.

"Go get 'em, tiger." John B grinned as him and JJ took a seat next to Kie, watching as Pope made his way over.

He was about halfway to you before he turned around and walked back, shaking his head. "I can't do it. It's rude to interrupt someone's reading ya know. That and Toppers walking towards her."

JJ scoffed. "Really, man. Toppers got nothing on you. Besides, I'm pretty sure they're just friends."

"Oh quite the opposite, JJ. He's got money and a way nicer boat."

John B shot Pope a look. "How dare you insult the HMS Pogue like that."

"You know what I mean. He can buy her literally anything she asks for."

"Okay. So he's got money and a nice boat. That means he's trying to compensate for something. Any guesses as to what that is?" Kie stared at Pope.

JJ grinned, deciding to answer for his best friend. "His di-"

"Personality, JJ" Kie cut off the blonde. "What he lacks in personality, he makes up for with money. Topper is boring as hell. He doesn't know the meaning of excitement and adventure. You do. I'm sure you have way more in common with her than Topper does."

Pope took one last look at you, book open but ignored as Topper chatted with you. You just smiled and nodded before standing up and gathering your things, waving a small goodbye to Topper as you did.

You glanced over and saw the Pogues watching you so you brought up your hand and sent them a small wave, blushing when Pope smiled and waved back at you.

The next time Pope saw you was at the library. He was getting a couple of books for a paper he had to write and you were there, scanning the shelves, trying to figure out what book you wanted to read next.

Pope had looked over and froze when he saw you just a few feet away from him, fingers ghosting over the spines of books as you read the titles.

You had agreed to ride with Kelce to the library considering he needed a specific book to read and you needed a new book to read. You chewed on your lip, focusing on each one before pulling one out that caught your eye, reading the blurb before ultimately deciding that you didn’t want to read that one now.

Pope took a deep breath before scanning the titles himself, attempting to find one that he had already read that he thought you would enjoy. He finally found one and grabbed it, walking over to you.

"Having troubles?" He asked.

You jumped slightly before looking at him. "Little bit. It's hard to find which one to read next, ya know."

Pope nodded before handing you the book. "You might like this one. I read it and could hardly put it down. It's definitely on my list of books to own."

You took it with a smile. "Thanks."

"It's no biggie." Pope shrugged.

You smiled again before walking backwards towards the checkout counter. "I'll see you around, Pope."

Pope grinned at the fact that you knew his name. "I hope so, Y/N."

You blushed slightly before turning around, meeting up with Kelce who immediately noticed your reddened cheeks.

"What's going on over here, Y/N/N?" He asked, pointing to his own cheeks.

"Nothing." You mumbled, placing your book and library card on the counter.

Kelce looked around, trying to spot who was making his best friend blush before shrugging.

Later that night, you and Kelce were sitting on his living room floor with Rafe and Topper, a board game set out in front of the boys as you read your book and listened to their conversation.

"Topper, St.Louis is not the capital of Illinois." Rafe said for what felt like the hundredth time.

"What are you talking about? Yes it is!"

Kelce took a deep breath before looking at Topper. "Top, sweetie, if you think St.Louis is the capital of Illinois, then what's the capital of Missouri?"

"Boise?"

You peered over your book with a blank look on your face, Kelce and Rafe having the same look on theirs.

"Come on guys, you know I'm bad at geography." Topper whined.

"I think," Rafe started, looking at Kelce, "We need to bust out that Sequence state capital game from second grade."

"I think I lost a brain cell during this conversation," Kelce rubbed his temples.

"Good thing you're not playing fucking jeopardy or you'd really be screwed, Top." You said.

Topper turned his attention to you. "Not all of us are book smart, Y/L/N." Topper leaned over to look at the page before squinting. "Whatcha reading that's better than playing a game with us, anyway?"

You held up the book enough so they could read the title and Rafe raised an eyebrow. "Where'd ya find that one?"

"Someone recommended it to me." You blushed a little at the interaction with Pope earlier that day.

"Oh ho ho. That is the same blush you had at the library. You like this person." Kelce pointed.

"Shut up, Kelc."

"Wait. She was blushing? Oh snap."

"Spill the name, Y/N."

You rolled your eyes at your friends before replying. "I don't have to tell you three anything."

"Come on. If you're not gonna tell us then how will we tease you?" Rafe whined.

"That's exactly why I'm not gonna tell you. You'll just tease me and then whenever he's around, you'll act all juvenile."

Topper looked at the two boys before turning towards you. "If we promise that we will keep the teasing to a minimum when he's not around and that we act mature about this, will you tell us?"

You bit your lip before hesitantly nodding. Rafe, Topper and Kelce's eyes widened, eager to hear the name about to come out of your mouth.

You sighed, bookmarking your page. "His name is Marcel. He wears glasses and wears a sweater vest. A bit on the awkward side but very sweet."

Kelce and Topper shot each other confused glances, never having heard that name before. Rafe, on the other hand, cocked his head to the side with an unamused look and a 'really'.

"You know this Marcel, Cameron?" Topper asked.

"Yeah. If you watch the Best Song Ever music video, you'll meet him. I do have two sisters, remember." He answered.

You shrugged. "Worth a shot."

"Come on, Y/L/N. Just give us the name."

You held up your hands in surrender. "Okay, okay." Your three friends leaned forward, staying quiet with raised eyebrows. "Pope Heyward."

"Oh my God," Topper breathed.

"Can we not do the usual 'traitor' bullshit please? I feel like my mom is already going to have a fit."

"What makes you think we'd do that?"

You shot each of them a look before standing up. "I gotta get going. You guys have fun and Topper," you looked at the blonde, "learn your damn capitals."

And then you were out the door.

****

Pope walked into The Wreck a few days later and spotted you in the corner, book in hand while you ate your food. Pope was so focused on you that he didn't even notice Kie appear next to him with a water pitcher in her hand.

"You gonna stand there all day or you gonna sit down with her and start up a conversation."

Pope whipped his head to look at his friend before shrugging. "I guess I could but sh-"

"She's reading and its rude to interrupt someone whos reading. I know." Kie rolled her eyes before walking over to your table.

He saw you smile at Kie and greet her before nodding. You looked past Kie and saw Pope. You grinned and waved him over which Pope happily did, taking a seat across from you.

"Want anything Pope?" Kie asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Just get me the usual."

Kie smiled before walking away towards the back.

"I finished that book you recommended to me last night and I was speechless. The ending was...wow." You leaned back in your chair, taking a drink of water.

"I know right. That book made me want to read all his other works and they're all just so amazing." Pope grinned.

"His writing is so poetic that I was surprised I wasn't reading an actual poem."

"Exactly. He's such a good writer."

You two talked for hours about different authors and books you guys liked, eventually both of you started writing down names of books and authors for the other to check out.

"How long have they been like that?" John B asked, JJ sitting beside him along with the kook boys who joined them unexpectedly with no hassle whatsoever.

"Lets see. You five have been here for 45 minutes to an hour, Pope showed up a couple of hours before you. So...almost four." Kie smiled before scurrying off to wait on another table.

"Four what? Hours?" JJ asked.

"Yes, dumbass." Rafe rolled his eyes before turning his attention back to the table where you sat with Pope.

"They both look so happy." Topper commented.

"Because they are. They're in love." Kelce sighed with a dopey smile on his face, resting his head against his hand.

"Aren't they a little young for love?" John B raised an eyebrow.

Kelce shot him a look which caused John B to raise his hand in surrender.

"What do you think they're talking about?"

"They're both nerds. Take a guess."

JJ opened his mouth to object, offended on behalf of his best friend but John B stopped him. "No, no. He has a point."

You glanced at your watch before standing up, saying something to Pope who nodded, handing each other your phones.

JJ smirked. "My boy is getting some." Rafe, Kelce, and Topper all turned to look at JJ, unamused with his words. "Or not."

*****

Pope shook his head. "No way. That is one of the dumbest and most cliche tropes ever."

It was a week later and you and Pope sat at The Wreck again, having a conversation about whatever you recently read and now, apparently, your favorite and least favorite tropes.

"I have to disagree. Enemies to lovers has my heart." You responded, taking a bite out of your burger after you spoke.

"One bed and they have to share reigns supreme." Pope popped a fry into his mouth like that was the end of discussion.

You held up your finger as you finished chewing before swallowing. "You have to have some love for the enemies to lovers trope then because a lot of enemies to lovers involve sharing a bed." You pointed out.

"What about friends to lovers? Hmm? Hmmm? That right there is practically gold and bed sharing comes into play."

You rolled your eyes. "At some point, a friend likes another. I can tell you in confidence that I had a crush on Topper, Kelce, and Rafe at some point in our friendship. It was bound to happen because we hang out so much. Enemies to lovers though? Who willingly hangs out with their enemy? No one."

Pope laughed. "Alright. Sure. Whatever."

"Don't whatever me Pope. I'm right and you know I am." You laughed.

Pope held his hands up in surrender. "Sure. Whatever helps you sleep at night."

Kiara walked over to your table and you smiled. "Lets ask Kie."

"Ask me what?" Her eyes darted between you and Pope.

Pope turned to Kie. "I want you to be honest with me, Kie. Which trope is better? Best friends to lovers or enemies to lovers."

Kie blinked slowly as she spoke. "I was just coming here to ask if you need refills or anything else."

"This is more important. Best friends to lovers or enemies to lovers?"

You both looked at the girl expectedly and she shrugged. "I'm more of a fake dating girl myself so neither."

"Or both." You raised your eyebrows.

"True. Enemies could fake date or friends could. Sounds like a both thing for me."

Kie just turned and walked away, shaking her head with a small smile.

Your phone dinged and you looked down, seeing a text from your mom. "Thats my mother paging me." You sighed as you stood up. "This has been a fun date, Pope."

"Date?"

You felt your face heat up from embarrassment."Oh, was this...not- I shouldn't have assumed. I'm sorry."

"No, it was. I just didn't think you'd think of it as one." Pope quickly said.

You smiled before kissing his cheek. "I'll talk to you later then.'

Pope blushed as he watched you walk away, paying for your half of the meal before exiting the building.

****

It's been a month since you and Pope became official. A lot of your dates were either study dates, beach dates, or dates that consisted of you two eating at The Wreck while discussing anything under the sun.

Pope was kind of scared when you asked him what he wanted to do for a living, considering everyone else thought it was weird but you were supportive.

"That's cool."

Popes eyes widened in shock at your words. "Really? No 'why would you choose a coroner' or 'why the hell would you wanna work with dead bodies'?"

You shrugged as you stole one of the fries from his plate. "I think it's cool. It's a job not many people want but it's an important one."

That was probably when Pope knew that he was in deep with you. The fact that you didn't judge the things he was passionate about and what he wanted to do. That just made him fall for you more and let him know that you were the perfect girl for him.

Now here you were, spending the weekend together in the best way.

You sat in Pope's living room, okay laid in Pope's living room, watching Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets. Pope had the house all to himself for the weekend and invited you over for a Harry Potter movie marathon since you two just finished rereading the entire series.

So here you were, curled into your boyfriend's side with his arm draped over your shoulders, holding you closer if that was even possible.

You sighed as Alan Rickman appeared on the screen. "I miss him."

Pope kissed the top of your head as he rubbed your arm. "I know, sweetheart. You say that everytime he pops up on screen."

"I can't help it. He was just such a good soul."

Pope smiled, twirling some of your hair around his finger. He loved listening to you talk about things and people you were passionate about. The smile on your face whenever someone, usually him, brought up one of those topics was worth it and he could listen to your voice for hours on end, which usually happened when a topic of interest was brought up.

"Are you even listening to me?" You'd ask, tapping his wrist.

"Every word."

You'd lean back and cross your arms, a smirk on your face as you raised one of your eyebrows. "Oh really?"

He'd nod before speaking. "You were saying how you think iced coffee is better than regular hot coffee."

You'd make an impressed face. "Are you going to say anything at any point in this conversation."

He'd pretend to think about it before shaking his head. "I'm good."

You'd roll your eyes before purposely bringing up a topic that would cause him to talk some because just like him, you were obsessed with seeing his smile when he was interested in a topic and hearing his voice.

"Pope, did you hear me?"

Pope blinked before shaking his head. "No. Sorry. I was spacing this time."

"I asked if you wanted to make stir fry tonight?" You laughed lightly at the space cadet you called a boyfriend.

Pope smiled and nodded. "Sounds great. I'll ask dad if we can raid the store for whatever we don't have."

You both pulled out your phones, you to get the recipe and Pope to ask his dad if it was okay to take whatever was needed for dinner.

You walked into the kitchen and started pulling out whatever you could find that was needed for the stir fry before writing down on a notepad what was left.

"We got the go ahead." Pope told you and you held up the notepad.

"Then let's go on an adventure."

You two paused the movie and made your way down the street towards Heywards hand in hand.

"Have you ever seen the Percy Jackson movies?" You asked, genuinely curious if Pope had or not. Pope shook his head and you let out a laugh. "Oh boy. We might have to take a break from good ol' HP so you can watch them."

"Why?" Pope swung your arms as looked at you.

"You might find them...interesting. That's all." You shrugged.

"Are they good?"

You smiled up at him as you leaned your head on his arm. "You'll have to see."

Normally, you wouldn't recommend watching the movies to anyone but when it came to Pope, you wanted him to see it. You wanted to see him rant about all the differences and how bad this adaptation was. You wanted to see him get all flustered at the smallest details that the movies got wrong and complain about how this doesn't do the books any justice.

"Are you setting me up?" A small smile sat on Pope's lips.

You placed a hand to your heart. "Ouch Pope. That stings."

He just laughed before kissing your temple as you approached Heywards. Pope unlocked the door and you followed him inside, picking up the rest of your ingredients before walking over to the counter and pulling a 20 out of your pocket, sliding it under one of the boxes for Mr.Heyward to find.

"Really? You know my dad loves you right? Like you don't have to pay him for this stuff. He gave us the okay." Pope said.

You shrugged. "It's fine and it's only right. I mean, I'm taking things from his store. The least I can do is pay him." You turned to the security camera and waved before pointing to the box the cash was under and doing the hand signal for money.

"You do know he cant check the system from his phone right?"

"Yeah but if he plays it back, he'll know and no one else will see the footage." You smiled before turning back to your boyfriend. "Ready?" You asked as you placed your things in a bag.

Pope grabbed your hand and the bag as he nodded. "Lets get cooking."

You laughed as you followed him back outside, waiting for him to lock the door before beginning the short journey back to his, the pair of you thinking about how lucky you were to have someone like the other.

~~~~~~

#pope obx #pope heyward #pope outer banks #pope x reader

38 notes · View notes

naughtyneganjdm · 4 years

Text

The Savior - Chapter 27

Summary: The aftermath of Negan and the reader (oc) breaking up takes its toll on both of them. Each one reacts very differently to their fallout and secrets continue to exist between them.

Characters: Negan, Reader (OC), Simon, etc.

Warnings: Swearing and angsty moments

AO3 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11995341/chapters/58375921

Notes: I realize I’m posting this late at night, but I’m awake and figured now is better than any time. Love you guys!

“So how is the big man doing at home?” Y/N felt someone move in beside her at her locker and she looked to see Simon standing beside her. Grasping onto her locker door, she looked down and didn’t really know what to say.

“He’s quiet,” she answered honestly, thinking to how Negan had been at home when they would be together. “He’s sleeping a lot and when he’s not sleeping, he’s either watching television or scrolling on his phone. I thought we’d be talking more, but I don’t think he has an interest.”

“You okay?” Simon reached out to nudge her with his fingers and she shrugged. “You look tired.”

“I’m not sleeping. I’m not used to sleeping in bed alone. It’s been a long time since I’ve had to sleep alone at night,” she sighed heavily and held her books close to her chest. “I miss him.”

“That was something that was always really hard when my wife and I separated. I could do things to distract myself, but when you are alone at night that’s when it really hits you hard,” Simon agreed with that feeling and he looked down the empty hallways. “Does he come and pick you up?”

“Oh, no, I just walk home,” she replied and Simon made an expression that showed he clearly didn’t agree with that. It wasn’t really something that they had even talked about at home. She assumed that Negan needed the rest, so she didn’t even bother to ask him. When she would walk in the door after walking home, it wasn’t really even something that Negan seemed to care about. In fact, he barely asked about things as it was. “It’s okay. It gives me time to think.”

“That’s a long way to walk for someone who has been having problems like you have been,” Simon reached out to playfully tap at her head and she shrugged. There was an ache in her chest that quite hadn’t left since the party and it really bothered her that she couldn’t beat that feeling. “Do you want me to give you a ride home?”

“Nah,” she denied his offer and closed her locker. “It gives me time to really think. Run over test answers and what not in my head.”

“You know what would help you more? Actually getting home and getting to study,” Simon pointed out with a snort. “Seriously, I’ll give you a ride home. You’ve obviously stayed late to work things out with your teachers; it’s one of the things I could do to help out.”

“I don’t deserve you being kind to me right now Simon,” she insisted, shifting on her feet as she stood before him. “I fucked up really bad and I hurt your best friend. I made him almost kill himself.”

“You shouldn’t be torturing yourself like this though,” Simon snorted and she shrugged. Guilt ate at her every day since the party and she felt so awful about everything. “Physically hurting yourself because you made a mistake is no way to fix things. If Negan was in his right mind, he wouldn’t be agreeing with it either.”

“I don’t think he has any interest in me right now Simon and rightfully so. I thought we would be able to work on things, but the last few days he has had no interest in being around me. He’s deep in the television, sleeping or looking at things on his phone. We’re not really talking,” she thought back to the last few days. “I thought that maybe after everything we would be able to talk, but I fucked up and I understand why he doesn’t want to talk to me. I used the one thing that he told me would hurt him the most and I used it against him.”

“Okay, but you have been really stressed. I understand what you are saying, but…” Simon defended the way she was acting, but she was having none of it.

“No Simon, that was unforgivable what I said,” Y/N denied him trying to give her an excuse for what she did. “What I did was wrong and I’d probably never forgive me either. If we were in the opposite positions, I would have probably kicked him out of the house. I would have likely kicked him out, but he kept me around. I guess I should be thankful with that at least.”

“Maybe it’s your approach?” Simon watched her lean back against the lockers. “What if you tried bringing something you know he likes home? Getting him to sit down with you and you two can just talk?”

“Okay, but how do I even start that conversation? Hey Negan, I told you that you are unlovable and you don’t deserve to have children because you are an asshole, but I really didn’t mean to say that so forgive me please?” she blurt out and Simon rolled his eyes. “It doesn’t really work like that.”

“No it starts with, hey…I know we have been having some problems and I said some things that were very hurtful, but I want to start working on apologizing. I want to fix things, even if we could never get back to what we were, I want to work on our relationship,” Simon explained, clearly using himself as an example for her. “I have fucked up so many times in my marriage and if you really love someone, you make things work. I shouldn’t still be married. I have screwed up so many times and I don’t deserve my wife, but I know my heart loves her. So I try to make it up to her. I fuck up all the time and I’m blessed that she takes me back, but when you start apologizing it is admitting you did something wrong and you’re letting someone know what they mean to you. Ultimately Negan thinks you don’t care for him.”

“Is that what he told you?” she blurt out knowing that Negan had to have talked to Simon. That was the one person in Negan’s life that he would undoubtedly go to when it came to her since Simon was the only person that he could talk to. Simon’s expression became frustrated and she threw her hands up. “I just don’t know how to make him believe that he belongs here Simon. He thinks he would be better off dead and that’s my fault.”

“Yeah, you fucked up. I’m not going to lie, but I’m also not going to talk to you about the things I’ve talked to Negan about. Just like I’m not going to talk to Negan about the things that I’ve talked to you about. I’m immature, but I’m loyal,” Simon muttered in a sigh. It was clear this was overwhelming to him too and she didn’t mean for that. “Which brings me to that thing from the other day…did you go through with it?”

“I thought about it, but I just…haven’t brought myself to yet. I think about it and then something makes me stop,” she swallowed down hard and looked toward the ground. Honestly, she was ashamed. Ashamed that she even let Simon know her secret in the first place. “I have some time I think before I make that jump.”

“Maybe you are having second thoughts about it because you should actually be involving Negan in this?” Simon’s brow arched in response. “I mean, one would think maybe that is your conscience trying to convince you that this is something you should talk to him about.”

“After everything that has happened, do you really think that’s something that should be brought up now?” she retorted with a huff. “It’s too much. I don’t think Negan could handle it. Not after everything I’ve already put him through.”

“But he deserves the right to know,” Simon corrected her in a deeper tone, knowing that she was nervous and upset, but he was trying to appeal to her morality. “How am I the adult in this relationship and I’m not even part of it? I’m telling you both what is right and what you both should do, but you both are so damn stubborn that you won’t fucking listen to me. I know what I’m talking about. I’m not the smartest person in the world, but if you both would just listen to me...things could be so much better.”

“So he’s very negative about me too?” she read too much into what Simon said and heard him groan in frustration. Simon dragged his hands down his face and tugged at his flesh dramatically. “That’s a yes.”

“Let’s focus on what I’m saying right now though. What you are going through right now, if you decide to go through with it--this is something that you can’t just do on your own. That shit weighs on you and I think you need to have someone in your life to be there for you so you can talk to them,” Simon insisted again. “You can’t be alone because this shit will eat you alive on the inside. You need to tell him. He deserves to know.”

“I’m not alone, I have you,” she playfully reached out to poke Simon in the chest and he gave her a dramatic look where it was clear she annoyed him. “I hear what you are saying…”

“Yet you aren’t listening to me,” Simon cut her off and reached out to grab a hold of her shoulders. “You have to think about this Y/N, I know what I’m talking about. I know Negan and I know you by this point whether the two of you think I do or not. I took your father the fuck down, I know what will make your life better and I’m telling you what needs to be done.”

“I’m scared to tell him Simon because I fucked up,” she stammered, not sure of how to even begin to explain this to Negan. “I made a huge mistake.”

“You were overwhelmed,” Simon blurt out again. “He just deserves to know. Especially if you go through with what you are planning on going through.”

“Do you think I’m making a mistake?” she swallowed down hard and Simon threw his hands up.

“That’s not my opinion to give. It’s not my life,” Simon immediately followed up and she knew that was the right answer, but she wanted someone to tell her whether she was doing the right or wrong thing. “I just want you to do right by you. If you want to do it, I support that, but I do think you should involve Negan.”

“I’m scared,” she answered and Simon dropped his hands down at his side. It was like he had given up, when he saw her eyes tearing over. He moved across the small space between them and reached out to wrap his arms around her supportively. “I don’t want him mad at me for what I did.”

“This is a bad theory, but he’s already mad at you. He couldn’t get much angrier, right?” Simon spoke up and she pulled her head from his chest enough to look at him behind her upset expression. “Okay, so it’s a shit theory, but being honest is what saves relationships. Keeping things from people, that’s where the problem comes in. If you are honest with him, then it’s easier to deal with things…together.”

“I just know he’s going to be angry with me,” she pulled away from Simon slowly. “I want to tell him because I obviously feel guilty about this, but I think what I have planned is the best option. I’ll just deal with it on my own…”

“You know how I said it’s not my opinion that counts?” Simon recalled what he had just said. “I think dealing with it on your own and not involving Negan is the wrong option. I know that it’s not my life and I’m not you, but if you want to have a future with Negan…if you truly love him, then you will involve him.”

“Geez, well when you put it like that,” she made a dramatic sound and lowered her head. “I should tell him, I know, but I don’t know if I should tell him before or after…”

“Before would be my choice, but I’m not the one that is in love with Negan,” Simon pointed out with a certain gaze where she knew that he was right, she was just scared and being scared was really what was helping her to drive her feelings. Fear was always a strong motivator, but she knew that she shouldn’t be doing this alone. “If you love him, you will do what I told you to do earlier. You go home and tell him…we need to talk. Get him to talk and be honest with him. You two both need to sit with each other and just be honest.”

“Okay,” she agreed. While it was easy to agree to it, the real problem would be when she tried to actually do it. Simon had urged her to let him drive her home and on the way she had grabbed some food that she had known Negan loved. When Simon pulled in front of the house, she found it hard getting out of the passenger’s seat.

“Everything is going to be okay,” Simon tried to assure her, but she was unsure of that; especially with how Negan had been lately. “Just be honest. Tell him it was a mistake and then try to explain everything. You can’t fix this relationship if you don’t tell him.”

“I gotcha, I hear it,” she hushed him and got out of the car, closing the door behind her.

“Hey,” Simon’s voice called out and she looked over her shoulder at Simon who had rolled the window down. “Just let me know how it goes. I know it might get rough, so just call me and let me know how everything goes.”

“Thanks Simon,” she sighed and moved across the lawn toward the front door. Looking back, she saw Simon wave before leaving and she knew this was now or never. She wouldn’t do this if she didn’t try now. The fear alone would rule her choices even knowing that Simon was right with her needing to tell Negan if she didn’t jump right in.

Pushing open the door, she saw Negan sitting on the couch while on his phone. His hazel eyes lifted from his phone to stare out at her and she lifted the bag of Chinese that Simon had taken her to get, “Hey you! I got your favorite. I thought maybe we could have dinner and we could talk.”

“Aw, that was sweet,” Negan smirked before shrugging. “I’m sorry, but I already ate.”

“Oh,” she lowered the bag and felt an ache at the center of her chest. Usually they would always share dinner together, but the fact that he was eating without her told her that he was no longer interested in spending time with her. “Recently?”

“I made myself something like an hour ago,” Negan answered and she realized that it would have been right before she would have been leaving school. So he made something for himself only. “Hey, at least you have a few meals there for yourself for leftovers.”

“Yeah,” she swallowed down and moved across the living room to set the food down on the dining table. She took time to put her things away and when she came back into the living room she could see that he was putting on his leather jacket. “Are you going out?”

“I am,” Negan alerted her with a heavy sigh. “A friend wanted to hang out.”

“Oh, okay…” she felt stupid for even attempting to make things right with him. “I thought maybe you would want to talk or watch that show we liked to watch together.”

There were traditions that they had that they did when they were dating, but now that Negan ‘took a break’ they had no longer been doing those. It was like all the things they had done together on the regular no longer mattered and it hurt.

“Come on, you didn’t even like that show,” Negan pointed out with a snicker and she went to speak up, but he interrupted her. “You put up with it because I liked it.”

“I liked watching it with you,” she explained and Negan shrugged. “Do you know how long you are going to be gone?”

“No idea,” Negan simply stated and she nodded.

“I was just hoping that we could talk about something kind of important,” she started and Negan’s eyebrows perked up while he stared out at her. The urgings and words of Simon filled her mind and she tried to find the courage to talk to Negan. “This is something that really needs to be said and…”

“I would, I just have previous plans and if this is something you can’t really say in just a few minutes then I’m afraid it’s going to have to wait,” Negan informed her while tilting his head to the door hinting that he was about to leave. “Don’t you have work or something? It’s been a few days since you have gone; I figured you would be heading to work.”

“I quit,” she responded and she could see a serious expression falling up on his face. “It was a bar and you told me that you wanted to be as far away from alcohol as possible, so I figured…”

“I never asked that of you,” Negan shook his head and pulled his leather jacket closer to his chest. “How are you going to pay for things now that you don’t have that job?”

“I just…” she went silent after his question and they heard the sound of a horn outside, “I didn’t think about that.”

“You probably should have. That was why you had the job in the first place. You wanted to continue to pay for the things that were yours,” Negan reminded her and she looked down toward the ground. Negan reached around her and grabbed something that was behind her. “That was kind of a quick move, don’t you think? Maybe you should call Eli and tell him that you weren’t thinking right or some shit?”

“Yeah, maybe,” she licked at her lips and moved over toward the table to see something on top of it. She had missed it when she had originally come home and she looked to the drawing. “Did you draw this?”

“Yeah, I was coming up with a tattoo idea,” Negan reached for the drawing and looked it over. “I have an appointment next week and I was trying to come up with something I thought would look cool.”

“It’s really cool,” she noticed the closeness of him while he looked it over. Closing her eyes, she took in the warmth of his body and the smell of him. It had been a while since he was this close to her and she missed it. “Where were you thinking of putting it?”

“It’s going to be a cover up,” Negan responded and she looked to him. “It’s going to cover up the rose. I thought it might be big enough to cover it up and if not I don’t think the rosebud would be a bad addition to it.”

Y/N grasped onto the table and felt like her face was on fire when he nonchalantly let her know that he was going to be covering up one of the tattoos that he had gotten for her. Negan’s hazel eyes searched hers when she lifted her head to stare up at him. There was no way that he wouldn’t have noticed how much his admission to her bothered her. The color from her face had likely drained, but he just stared at her emotionless after he told her.

“And the one on the wrist I was thinking of making something else too,” Negan’s jaw flexed and his eyes narrowed. “It’s going to take a while for me to come up with the one for the chest because it’s kind of big. I don’t want something clunky that looks like shit there.”

“You’re…covering them?” she stammered and Negan’s face was very serious while he stared out at her. The sensation of her stomach turning was felt and she did her best to try and keep herself together. Negan was moving on and he was moving on fast. “All of them?”

“Well you were right. They were stupid to get in the first place, so I figured what the hell?” Negan smirked and reached out to nudge her jaw with his fingers. “You won’t have to worry anymore about people potentially seeing them. They won’t be there anymore.”

The sound of the horn being honked again was heard and Negan nodded toward the door, “I have to go.”

“Of course,” she watched him move for the door and he quickly moved out without even a second thought of looking back at her or saying goodbye.

Dropping down at the table, she wanted more than anything to burst out crying, but she was attempting to hold it together. After getting with Negan she had pretty much thrown away all her friendships and she no longer had a relationship with her family. There was no one for her to even talk to about what was going on.

Looking to her phone, she knew that the only person she could tell was Simon, but what would that do with his relationship with Negan? More than anything he had wanted them to fix things, but she knew that hearing this news would upset Simon so she decided to keep this to herself. Simon was Negan’s friend and it would only hurt things more.

It was clear that their relationship was over, but she knew that Simon was right and she still had to tell Negan what he had urged her to. So she waited. Even if there was nothing she could do for their relationship, she had to be honest with him.

Most of the night she had waited for Negan to come back home and he still wasn’t back late into the night. When she thought he was going out, she figured that he would be back in a few hours. Not be gone until at least three in the morning. When she finally did hear the sound of a car in the driveway, she got out of bed and moved out into the living room. Cleary, she hadn’t been able to sleep a minute with everything that was weighing heavy on her mind. When Negan moved into the house, he had his leather jacket thrown over his shoulder and when his eyes met hers, he jumped.

“What the fuck are you doing just standing here?” Negan reached for his chest and placed his hand over the center of it. “You gave me a damn heart attack.”

“Where were you?” she inquired and Negan smiled, letting out a tight grunt when he moved over toward the couch. He threw the jacket on the chair before kicking his boots off. “Negan?”

“Out, I was out,” Negan shrugged and he didn’t even bother to look at her.

“Where can you go and be out until past three in the morning?” she muttered and Negan looked back to give her a glare. The glare alone made her step back and she had seen that face given to other people, but never to her. It was almost a warning as if to back off, but she couldn’t help the way she felt. “It’s a weekday Negan.”

“Which is why I don’t think you should be up right now. You have work in the morning,” Negan shooed her toward the bedroom and reached for his shirt to pull it over his head. He tossed the material aside and reached for the television remote. “Last time I checked we aren’t dating so I don’t have to report to you every five seconds.”

“I can’t do this,” she huffed and stormed back into the bedroom. Flicking the light on, she moved over toward the closet to pull out the bag she had brought with her when she had moved in with Negan. Going through her drawers, she started throwing her things to the bed.

“What are you doing?” Negan’s deep voice filled the room and she looked behind her to see that Negan was standing in the doorway watching her. “You need to go to bed and stop being so dramatic.”

“I’m going to go to Simon’s,” she blurt out and Negan huffed. “I can’t take you treating me like this anymore. I’ve been trying to fix things, but you keep blowing me off and I thought we were going to be friends, but you’re just being fucking cruel.”

“I’m being cruel? I’m fucking being cruel?” Negan snapped and he saw her crying while she threw her stuff on the bed. “Simon is my friend, you know? Maybe you should find someone else to go and stay with.”

Negan put emphasis on my when he moved into the bedroom, “he might have put the offer out there for you to stay with him, but that was when you were with me. Now that we aren’t together you have no right to use my best friend.”

“Him and his wife told me that I could go there at any point,” she reminded him and Negan reached for the clothes that she had been messily throwing onto the bed. Negan started folding the clothes and putting them in her bag making her chest ache. There was no fighting in keeping her there, in fact he was helping her pack her bag.

“When your father was being abusive,” Negan simply stated, finishing up with folding the clothes that she had thrown on the bed. Negan held the bag out to her once he zipped it and nodded toward the door of the bedroom. “So uh, why don’t you go back home to mommy and daddy to see how that goes?”

“What is wrong with you?” she reached for the bag and went to move for the door, but he cut her off before she could. “Move Negan!”

“I don’t know why you are acting so upset,” Negan blocked the door completely even when she kept trying to move around him. After a few times of him doing it, he felt her start to hit him in the chest over and over again. Grunting with each hit, he watched her drop the bag and move over to the side of the bed to sit on the edge of it while she started sobbing. Negan let out a frustrated sound before walking closer to the bed. “Fuck…damn it.”

It was clear that Negan was having a sense of guilt over the way that he had treated her and she still refused to look at him after what he had said, “I know what I said was unforgivable. I know I hurt you, but I thought you said that we would still be best friends. That we would work on us and you just seem angrier at me.”

“I was at AA and I sat with my sponsor at some deadbeat diner. I’m depressed and it’s really hard not to want to drink right now,” Negan blurt out, explaining where he was. It was a bit late to be answering though since the damage was already done. “This has been hard.”

“Tell me about it because you just seem to hate me more every day,” she snorted, still having a hard time talking to him.

“I don’t hate you, at all. It’s the fact I’m not drinking, I’m sorry,” Negan apologized from behind her. “Drinking would help take the pressure off and instead I’m forced to think about everything. It sits in there lingering Y/N and all I can think about is the things that are bothering me. It festers and instead of relieving the pressure, it just expands inside of me. I’ve been thinking about everything that happened and it’s just been getting me angry. That’s why I went to AA. I don’t want to drink.”

“Then talk to me!” she looked over her shoulder at him and Negan’s face was full of sadness. His big eyes were drooping with sorrow and a frown was over his face. “If we actually talked, I’m sure the both of us would feel a whole lot better.”

“I’m upset with you though. I want to fucking talk to you, I do, but how much more can I hurt you by telling you how much you hurt me?” Negan stammered and she sighed, reaching up to wipe at her face. Turning to face him, she watched him move over toward the bed to take a seat. “If we talk, we are just going to fight.”

“Maybe that’s what we need to do to get over things,” she suggested without knowing what really to say other than what Simon had offered to her at school. “We’re never going to heal if we just stay silent and we don’t talk.”

“What do you want to talk about then?” Negan lowered his hands to his lap and his hazel eyes searched hers, almost waiting for another answer.

“I want you to talk to me. I want you to say whatever you have to say so we don’t ever have to do this again,” she whimpered and Negan reached out to grab one of her hands in his. Negan caressed over the back of it with his thumb. She felt ridiculously dramatic after everything that had happened between them, but the things he had said to her hurt. “I know I made a mistake.”

“You hurt me,” Negan agreed and the look of the sadness in his eyes hurt. “I want to forgive you; I really do, but…”

“I don’t expect you to forgive me Negan,” she reached out to brush her fingers over the side of his face. Her fingertips traced over his short beard and he leaned into her touch. “I don’t want you to forgive me. What I did was unforgivable. I used the one thing you trusted me with. You never told anyone about how you felt. You never opened up about your father and I was so angry that I blurt out the stupidest thing I could have ever said.”

“You weren’t wrong,” Negan scoffed and she shook her head.

“I was wrong. You are very lovable. You give so much love…too much sometimes,” she chuckled and Negan rolled his eyes when he felt her brushing her fingers into his dark hair. “When you give your heart, you throw the whole damn thing at people. Sometimes people are just assholes.”

“I guess me being overwhelming didn’t help,” Negan frowned and she rolled her eyes this time.

“No Negan, stop blaming yourself for this one. This was me. This was all me,” she lessened the distance between them. Negan reached out to brush away at the dampness over her cheeks from her crying. “I said something awful. I just wanted to hurt you and I didn’t mean it Negan. I didn’t. Then I thought about everything after I calmed down and I realized that you handled everything so much better than I would have.”

“I don’t think I handled it all that well. I almost killed myself by drinking as much as I did,” Negan grumbled and she snorted. “I’m just saying.”

“I mean I would have been really upset with you afterwards and thrown you out if the roles were reversed. Instead, you gave me the bedroom,” she pointed out and Negan nodded. “I would have never forgiven you and I would have given up.”

“Oh, well that would make me a total fucker…kind of like the person I just was being,” Negan felt her reach up to grab at his wrist. “If you want to be with that boy, you should be with that boy. If your heart is still with Gale, you shouldn’t be faking it here with me.”

“Oh my God Negan, he was such a self-centered cunt,” she whined and Negan started cracking up at her response. “I’m sorry, but he was. When we were dating he would look at himself in the mirror so many times. His hair was what he cared about the most. It hurt my feelings the way he dumped me, but I have no interest in him.”

“I can’t believe you just said that word,” Negan poked her in the ribs and heard her chuckle. “He looks like a ken doll.”

“That’s not my type,” she insisted, looking Negan over slowly. “My type is tall, dark haired; hazel eyed and has the cutest fucking dimples I’ve ever seen in my life. Sometimes he has the mouth of a sailor, but I wouldn’t want him any other way.”

Negan looked like he wanted to say something, but he swallowed down heavily and lowered his head to look away from her. Brushing her fingers throughout his hair, she took her time to caress over his scalp and heard him sigh.

“He’s covered in tattoos and has no idea how truly beautiful he really is. Inside and out,” she began and Negan lifted his head to meet her glance. “And he’ll never know how amazing he is because the world has done nothing, but beat him down. Including me and I will never forgive myself for that.”

Negan reached out to slide his hand in around the back of her neck to softly urge her in closer to him. The sensation of him pressing his forehead against hers was felt and she let out a long, shallow breath. With the warmth of Negan close to her, her eyes slammed shut and she wished they would have been at a place in time where she didn’t make the mistake she did. Negan leaned down and pressed a loving kiss over her cheek before brushing his fingers into her hair.

“You know I love you,” Negan breathed, “but I really do need a break. To work on me and so you can work on you. We’re both so fucking broken and while I want to believe that we are meant to help mend each other’s heart, I think we just hurt each other more.”

“Then why am I still here Negan?” she whispered, leaning into Negan’s touch as he caressed over the side of her face. “Being here is hard if I can’t talk to you.”

“You can talk to me,” Negan hushed her, his eyes still filled with sorrow. “I want to be the person to fix and heal you, but I know I can’t be. You have to be that for yourself.”

“No one helped me heal as much as you did,” she stated with a saddened sound, “I don’t know if I’d still be here without you.”

“Yeah, but I was so confused about our relationship,” Negan confessed, his deep voice getting a bit raspier as he spoke. “I really thought you wanted to get married and then like run away together to the beach house and shit. I figured I would take that job at that college and maybe you would follow me there. Instead of being surrounded by the same pain every single day, we could start over. Just you and I, but I was so fucking wrong about that.”

“No Negan, that sounds like the perfect life,” she claimed and Negan gave her an odd expression. “I know what I said, but I feel like if people knew how much you changed because of me they would tell you how bad I was for you. Everyone thinks I’m bad for them. My family did, my ex did and then you were changing so much and so fast. I didn’t want to be the reason you woke up and hated everything about your life.”

“If it was my idea, what sense does that make?” Negan snickered when he heard her say what she did. “You were very anti marriage the other day.”

“Because I was pissed off,” she admitted and felt her cheeks flushing over. “I’d be lucky if I were able to marry you. I’d get to be with the man I loved at a young age and I’d be okay with that. I know what I want, I just fucked up one day and it was bad. It was a horrible fuck up.”

“This is fucking me up,” Negan hissed, pulling away and reaching up to brush his hands through his hair. It messed his hair up and she let out a frustrated sound. “I don’t know which thing I should believe. You now or you the other day, I don’t know which one is real.”

“The other day I was being an asshole. I realize the mistake I made, I wouldn’t lie to you. Not now,” she promised, her breaths heavy while she thought about what she did. “I wouldn’t want to be with me either, but I always enjoyed the idea of being with you. I can’t imagine spending my life with anyone else, but I unfortunately fucked that up.”

“It’s just hard being around you sometimes because I remember you saying what you did and it just hurts,” Negan swallowed and brushed his hair back after he had messed it up earlier. “I know I was overbearing and I know the tattoos pissed you off.”

“That tattoos didn’t piss me off, I was just worried that you would get caught and lose your job,” she explained with an uneven breath. “I really like the tattoos on you. A lot. I think they look amazing, I was just worried that if someone found out…”

“I wouldn’t care though; I don’t know how many times I have to tell you that. If I lost my job for loving the person that I do, then so be it,” Negan repeated his earlier thoughts. “I know you worry about me, but I'm the last person you should worry about.”

“I love you Negan, I’m going to worry about you,” she stammered making Negan frown. Negan turned on the bed and threw his legs over the side of it. Sliding in closer to him, she reached out and caressed softly over his shoulders and heard him let out a long breath. “You’re tense.”

“Just a bit,” Negan agreed while she rubbed at his tight muscles. Negan seemed to relax a bit beneath her massaging at his cramped muscles.

Sliding her palms from his shoulders and down his arms before returning back up, she could feel him shudder. Tipping forward, she pressed a soft kiss on his shoulders at the base of his neck. Negan stood up and let out a tense breath almost immediately after.

“I’m sorry,” Negan reached down to cover the front of his pants. “You know I’m trying to stay away from sex things right now and…”

“Shit, I wasn’t trying for that, I’m so sorry,” she apologized feeling guilty in thinking that Negan may have thought she was purposely trying to turn him on. “I was just trying to help, I swear.”

“It’s fine, I just…” Negan grunted looking down and he let out a frustrated huff. “I can’t control what he does so I need to walk away for a few. Just, try to get some rest, okay? I promise we will talk, I won’t avoid you. Okay? We’ll talk about things and fuck…”

Negan winced and turned away from her before moving for the door, “Goodnight Y/N.”

“Goodnight Negan,” she watched him quickly leave the room and while she was still upset with how the night went at least they were on talking terms. And that was at least a good thing.

----

“You studying?” Y/N lifted her head from the table from where she was studying for one of her tests. It was the weekend, but she was trying to cram in as much information as possible. It had been a few days since her and Negan had talked after his first AA meeting. They talked some, but not really to the degree she wanted. She was never able to tell him what Simon had advised her, but they were friendly with each other and able to spend time together.

“Wow,” Y/N noticed that Negan was walking out of the bedroom with just a towel on after he had clearly taken a shower. Negan stopped when he heard her and was almost looking for what she was wowing. When he saw her looking him over, he rolled his eyes and kept moving for the kitchen.

“Pervert,” Negan called out from the kitchen while she leaned back in the chair to look at him. It had been a while since she had gotten to see that much of Negan and she couldn’t help it.

“Yeah, I’m studying,” she replied finally after clearing he throat. When Negan moved back into the room, he leaned against the wall to stare out at her while he ate a bowl of cereal. “Trying to at least.”

“You’ve got this,” Negan stated with a weak smile. “Just give yourself time to take in the information. Don’t be too hard on yourself. That’s been what’s holding you back. You’re overthinking it. You’re fucking panicking and that’s why you’re having a hard time. You automatically assume that you are going to do badly. I don’t want to say you were arrogant before, but you were confident that you knew that shit. You need to gain that confidence back because that’s what got you where you were. We all fall sometimes, but you are the person I know you are. You’re going to nail this test if you just relax, take a breath and all the shit will fall into place.”

“I don’t know if I’m the person I was Negan,” she pushed away carefully from the table. Negan continued to eat his cereal and she shrugged. “After I hit my head…”

“You just have to heal. It’s like a broken leg. You have to put that cast on for a while, but afterward…it will be brand fucking new,” Negan insisted trying to help her the best way he could. Swallowing down, she knew he was trying to give her a pep-talk and she genuinely appreciated. She just wished she believed in herself like he believed in her.

“Today is your cover up appointment, right?” she confirmed, looking to his arm where he was planning on getting the rose tattoo with her name on it covered up. Negan stopped chewing, his expression getting very solemn before he looked to the tattoo. “I uh…I hope it turns out the way you want.”

“Yeah,” Negan simply nodded, seemingly having a hard time making eye contact with her after she made the comment. “Thanks.”

There was nothing more she could say after that. Pulling her seat back to the table she skimmed through the books and could tell that Negan was watching her. The silence between them was uncomfortable, but eventually he left the room to put his bowl in the sink. Negan had moved back into the bedroom to clearly get ready for his appointment.

Negan was gathering his things to leave and she heard him stop at the door. Negan grabbed ahold of the knob, but he looked back over his shoulder at her, “Am I making the wrong decision here?”

“I can’t tell you the answer to that Negan,” she shrugged, “It’s your decision. Not mine. I could tell you how I’m feeling, but it’s your body and I want you to make the decisions that you want. The ones that feels right to you.”

“Does that mean it would upset you if I did it?” Negan inquired and his hazel eyes looked conflicted. Y/N swallowed down hard. It was heart breaking to her, but she didn’t want to tell him that. It was his choice and if he felt the right thing was to cover up the tattoos then she couldn’t tell him otherwise. “Y/N?”

“Negan…” she began, trying to find the right words, but nothing felt right. While she wanted to admit to him that yes this upset her, she knew that she couldn’t. “I want you to do what makes you happy. I can’t make you do things to make me happy. This is about being comfortable with yourself. You need to heal how you have to heal. If that means getting that tattoo covered with another one, then I fully support your decision.”

Negan’s jaw flexed, his eyes narrowing when he stared out at her. He nodded and opened the door. Without another word he had left and she dropped her strong demeanor as soon as he was gone. The fact he was so eager to get rid of the tattoos he had gotten in dedication to her broke her heart. Sadness flooded her veins and she couldn’t help, but cry. It hurt and it hurt badly.

Trying to wipe away at her tears, she did her best to try and come to terms with things. The two of them were broken up. There was nothing she could do about that. The fact that Negan was allowing her to still stay in his home after they had split was nice enough as it was. Getting up from the table, she moved into the bedroom and reached for one of the photos that Negan had framed of them on the dresser. It was one of the first trips they had done to the beach house and she wished that they could go back to that time. A time where everything was so brand new and innocent. Unfortunately, she had screwed up so much and there was nothing she could do about it.

To go back to the happiness she felt then, she would give anything to do. Staring out at the photo a moment longer, she sighed and heard the sound of a knock on the front door. Setting the photo back down, she headed toward the front door saw that it was Negan. Pulling open the door, she could see that he had both his arms resting against the doorframe and when she had the door fully opened he looked up from where he was staring at the ground.

“Did you forget something?” she confusingly stammered and Negan stared out at her with his hazel eyes.

“I can’t do it,” Negan shrugged, moving forward to cup her face in his hands when he moved into the house. Negan tipped down, his lips colliding with hers making her let out a shocked sound. Negan kissed her over and over again, taking her breath away in the motion before he pulled back and rest his forehead against hers. “If I cover it up, it feels too much like an end to the story.”

“I thought that’s what you wanted?” she reached up to caress at the sides of his stubble covered face. Negan’s eyes searched hers and he shook his head. “I don’t understand.”

“I need an intermission, but fuck…I’m not ready to put the words the end in our story yet,” Negan whispered while brushing his fingertips into her hair. Negan took a moment before moving boldly forward to wrap his arms around her shoulders to pull her into a tight hug. “I still love you. I’m sorry if I led you to believe that I didn’t.”

Y/N said nothing, just enjoyed the comfort of Negan hugging her. While there wasn’t a huge explanation of feelings or anything further other than that moment and a small chat, that was more than enough. The fact that Negan said he still loved her meant everything in the world to her.

Later that night while she lay awake in Negan’s bed, she thought about what Simon had insisted her to tell Negan. After Negan had made it clear over the fact that he still cared for her, she knew that now was probably the best time to let him know. Even if it were to make things a little uncomfortable between them, she knew he deserved to know.

Getting up from the bed, she moved into the living room and saw Negan laid out on the couch. He was flipping through channels, his naked torso stretched out on the couch. Clearly he was having trouble sleeping too and when he spotted her walking into the room, he set the remote down and pulled himself up into a sitting position.

“Hey,” Negan muttered while she moved across the room toward him.

“Can I sit?” she looked down at the couch and Negan pulled his blanket closer to his chest before throwing his legs over the side of the couch so she could sit with him. “I need to talk to you about something.”

“Sure,” Negan nodded, his breathing heavy while he looked her over. Negan reached out to brush her hair away from her face and reached to curl his finger under her chin trying to get her to look at him while she was clearly avoiding that. “What is it?”

“If I did something, something big…and I didn’t tell you…” she swallowed down while Negan watched her closely, his right eyebrow rising as she spoke. “Would you be mad at me if I didn’t involve you in it or tell you about it?”

“What do you mean? That’s fucking vague,” Negan stated with a snort.

“Just, if I did something and I didn’t tell you…would you be mad at me?” she reiterated and Negan shrugged.

“I mean we’re not together right now so if you mean like you slept with someone else,” Negan started to speak and she shook her head. “Or are you trying to say that you slept with someone when we were together?”

“I’ve never wanted to be with anyone other than you Negan,” she whispered, her eyes lowering down toward the floor. “You’ve ruined me for everyone else. No matter how upset you are with me right now…”

“Okay?” Negan was still in obvious confusion about what she was trying to tell him. “What’s going on?”

“I’m afraid to tell you,” she informed him with a whimper. Negan slid in closer to her on the couch and he was trying to understand what was going on, but she didn’t make it obvious. She knew that. “We’re at this place where we are kind of getting along and I’m afraid of telling you.”

“See now my mind is wandering over all the possible what if situations,” Negan retorted with a snort. “I’m thinking the fucking worst and something tells me whatever is going on isn’t as bad as what I’m thinking.”

“I don’t know about that,” she started to cry and Negan’s face twisted with confusion. “I didn’t give myself the proper amount of time to heal. I thought I was inhuman and I could just keep going at the pace I was going. I was so specific about doing everything right before that after I hit my head and all of this started happening…”

“Hey,” Negan attempted to calm her when she started crying harder. “Sweetheart, it’s okay.”

“It’s not,” she shook her head, her cries filling the air. “I fucked up and I fucked up so bad Negan.”

“Baby, it’s okay,” Negan comforted her, wrapping his arms around her shoulders. “I’m sure it’s fine. Did someone hurt you?”

“Hurt me?” she repeated and Negan pulled away enough to look her over. Tracing his thumb over damp cheek, he was trying to read her expression, but couldn’t. “You mean…”

She was having a hard time getting her words out and Negan was clearly worried, “I mean is there something we have to do? Did you put your trust in the wrong person and…”

“No Negan, this is something I did,” she denied and Negan let out a breath of relief. “You shouldn’t be relieved…”

“Of course I’m relieved, my brain started thinking someone from that fucking party hurt you or raped you,” Negan confessed with a tense sound. “Grayson has these wild fucking sex parties and the people that he associates himself with…I didn’t know. You showed up back to the house late and I thought maybe Grayson got his hands on you. There were rumors that he would get these girls and would make them do things against their will. He just had so much money that these rumors often disappeared so when you come to me this upset saying you messed up, my brain went to the worst possible scenario I could think of.”

“Jesus,” she let out a sharp sound and Negan threw his hands up in the air. “Why the fuck didn’t you tell me that to begin with? I would have never even had an interest in that place if you would have told me that.”

“I don’t know. I wanted to make you happy. I tried to tell you the shit that happened, but…I was ashamed. I went to one of his parties when I was married to Lucille and that’s when I started cheating on my wife. Grayson was my friend by the time it happened and his parties started me in a vicious cycle of wrong doing,” Negan admitted to her and she moved in closer to him on the couch. “All the rumors about him taking advantage of the girls happened afterwards and I never spoke to the man again. I just started thinking the worst case scenario and the fact that I let you walk away, I thought maybe he hurt you and it would have been my fault because…”

“That didn’t happen,” she assured him when Negan clearly started getting emotional at the thought. “Negan, it didn’t…”

Negan was deep in his mind and she moved in to press her lips over his, cutting him off. Negan was stiff against her at first before he started kissing her over and over again. Negan’s hands reached up to cup at her face and she could feel his tongue brushing out against hers when her lips parted. Negan fell back against the couch and reached out to pull Y/N in over him.

For a while they kissed before Negan let out a moan when her hips settled in over his and softly brushed up against him. Negan pulled his mouth away and looked down, his hands settling in over her hips to help rock her hips over him. The heavy breaths fell from them both while she felt his body hardening underneath her movements.

“Negan,” she panted, her heart hammering inside of her chest while the friction from their bodies rubbing up against each other drove her wild. Negan leaned up after pulling the strap down from her nightshirt. Crying out, she felt his mouth over her breast and his tongue circle her nipple making her clutch tightly to his thick hair. Thinking about their fight made her tense up against him as she tugged firmly at his thick hair, “Negan, stop.”

“What’s wrong?” Negan’s mouth pulled from her body with small slurping sound and she pulled herself away from his lap. Sitting at the end of the couch, she pulled the strap back up on her tank top and could see him sitting up. “Are you okay?”

“You want to avoid sex,” she reminded him and Negan huffed. Looking to him, she found herself having trouble continuing through with her decision, but the last thing she wanted to do was take advantage of him in this moment. “If you keep doing that, there is no way that I’m not going to want to have sex with you.”

“It’s okay,” Negan insisted with shallow breath, brushing his fingers throughout his messy hair and she pulled her legs up to her chest. “You’re right. Thank you. Fuck.”

“Trust me, I’d love to, but you were really insistent on wanting to stay away from it and…” she began and Negan held his hands up because he clearly understood and didn’t want her to get upset over it. “I just…I know I messed up, but I really care about you Negan.”

“And I really care about you too,” Negan reached out to her hand, urging her to lay beside him on the couch. His fingertips caressed over her jawline and she didn’t know how good it was to be laying so close to him after what they had just done. “It’s okay. I just hate seeing you so upset. When you’re ready to tell me…you will.”

Y/N said nothing, just nodded and felt Negan urge her to cuddle in close to him. It was nice lying in his arms; she just hoped that they would be able to power through what she had to tell him. She was just at a loss herself and didn’t even know where to start. Fear was winning and she felt ashamed that she just couldn’t admit to him what was going on.

----

Pulling up to the house, Negan reached into the backseat and grabbed the Chinese food that he had picked up after school. It had been a few days since he had returned back to school and for some reason today Y/N had left school early. It was odd coming from her because she would usually tell him something like that before doing it since he was taking her home with him now being back at work. Getting out of the car, he moved to the door and fumbled with the keys before pushing the door forward. Hearing the rustling inside of the house, he smirked and fumbled to get the door closed.

“Where did you go today? I got us some food to make up for the last time you...” Negan called out, lifting his head up and he let out a dramatic, overwhelmed sound when he saw his mother sitting at his dining room table. Negan swallowed down hard and saw Y/N moving out of the kitchen and into his dining room making Negan look to her with a confused expression. Negan’s eyes panned back to his mother and he swallowed down hard. It was tough for him not to drop the bags in his arms as Y/N moved across the house to grab the food from him when he clearly froze up. Responding was hard for him, but he knew that he had to say something, “Mom? What…what are you doing here?”

“Your girlfriend got in contact with me,” Negan’s mother stood from the table and Y/N cleared her throat to correct Negan’s mother on her title. “Ex-girlfriend, I’m sorry. I just figured with how much you clearly love him that you two would have made up by the time I actually got here.”

“Yeah, but how?” Negan questioned, his heart pounding in his chest. It was hard for him to even get a hold of his mother, so now that she was standing in front of him he found himself confused. His mother moved across the room to stand before him. Still frozen, Negan felt his mother reaching out to wrap her arms around Negan, attempting to get him to hug her. Negan lifted his eyes and could see Y/N setting the food he brought home on the dining room table. Nervously, he lifted his arms and outstretched them to wrap them around his mother.

“She’s persistent,” his mother answered with a light laugh and Negan could feel a warmth pressing in over his cheeks. “I tell you that.”

“Yeah, but so was I…” Negan stammered and he pulled cautiously away from his mother. While he wanted to be happy that she was there, this was one of the first times he had spoken to her or even seen her since his father had died. “I just…I don’t understand. I called you and…”

“I know. I know, we need to talk,” she silenced her son reaching up to grab at Negan’s face to get him to look at her. “I have a lot of explaining and…apologizing to do. Y/N had a bit of a talk with me about how you were feeling…”

“I think I should probably go in the bedroom. I’ll leave you to eat,” Y/N offered, setting out some plates for Negan and his mother. “You two deserve time to talk.”

“I’m not going to ruin a dinner that my son had planned with you. We can all sit together,” Negan’s mother pulled him over toward the table to sit down. Y/N could see that by Negan’s eyes that he was blown away by his mother being there. Y/N shook her head before Negan’s mom moved over to almost force her into the chair and Y/N listened. “Now let’s all just have a discussion for a moment.”

“I really think this is something that should be between the two of you,” Y/N tried to remove herself from the conversation, but Negan reached out to grab her hand that was on top of the table. He gave her a pleading look and she felt her heart skip a bit.

“Please stay,” he begged and the look over his face told her that he was uncomfortable with being alone with his mother. Instead of giving them the space that she had expected to give them, she got more comfortable in the seat that she was sitting in and continued to hold onto Negan’s hand. Negan turned his attention back to his mother and he simply shrugged. “Why was it damn near impossible to get a hold of you mom? I tried and I tried really hard.”

“I know this is a horrible excuse, but I kind of shut down after your father died,” she answered and Negan’s cheeks flushed over with red. “I didn’t want to be around anywhere your father was. I just wanted to start over new.”

“And that meant flushing me out too? I get cards from you, but a card doesn’t exactly do it for people when they’ve lost their wife,” Negan grunted in an angered tone since his mother hadn’t even showed up to Lucille’s funeral when she died. “Would it have really been so hard to come and see me at least once a year? Instead of abandoning me completely.”

“You’re right, what I did was wrong,” his mother agreed. She was quiet and went to say something, but every time she did, she clearly rethought it. “Y/N told me some of the things that you said and I thought…maybe I don’t deserve to be here talking to you right now, but I thought I should come tell you some things to your face.”

Negan said nothing, just nodded. His hazel eyes were misting over and his mother reached out for Negan’s other hand, but he pulled it away from her, “You are so far from your father baby. We’re both damaged from what he did, but you’re not him…and you’ll never be him.”

Y/N wrapped her fingers tighter around Negan’s hand when she saw him starting to get emotional at his side of the table. His mother started speaking up again and she was visibly getting upset herself, “And the things your father did to you growing up were wrong. I knew they were wrong and I stood back and let them happen. I don’t know why. Out of fear maybe? Fear that he would kick us both out and you would be left with nothing. We would be on the streets and…”

“We may have been better off if that did happen,” Negan snorted from where he was sitting, his bottom lip trembling as he spoke.

“I was scared of that Negan. I was scared of having nothing, so I never questioned him. That was my fault as a parent, not yours. I will never claim to be a good parent Negan. I wasn’t. I loved you…I still love you, but I knew how much I had wronged you when you were younger, so I thought getting away from me would be best for you. Instead of seeing me and thinking of how much I failed you,” she informed him with a small shake of her head. There was something in his mother’s eyes that made it clear she was upset with how things had gone down. “You were better off without me in your life Negan. I didn’t protect you. I didn’t save you. I wasn’t a good parent to you.”

“That’s a horrible excuse. No one wants their mother to leave them, no matter how bad they did at raising them. You left me after dad died. I assumed it was because I looked like him. I assumed it’s because of all the awful things that dad said about me—that all those things were true,” Negan grumbled and he shook his head over and over. “You left me and you found a brand new family. You ignored me no matter how many times I tried to get in contact with you. You found someone better than dad and then you took on his family because they weren’t broken like I am.”

“That’s not why I’ve been the way I’ve been, but I can’t tell you that your feelings are wrong Negan. I could see why you feel that way and that’s my fault. That’s my fault for making you feel that way. I got so lost in myself that I just…let everything go. Everything that I had to take care of and everything that I had to deal with, I just let go. I became an unreliable person. I cared about myself more than anyone else and I should have been here for you. I should have let you know that you are loved. I should have told you that your father was wrong and you were an amazing young man,” his mothered reached out for his hand again and this time he allowed it when he saw her crying before him. “I would never want you to hurt yourself. I wouldn’t know what to do with myself if something ever happened to you Negan.”

“You would have never known,” Negan almost whimpered and Y/N held tightly onto his hand.

“And I want to change that. I want to make sure that we fix this thing between us. I’m not asking you to forgive me, I’m just asking for you to give me a chance. A chance to be part of your life again,” his mother pled and Negan felt his heart sinking. He wanted to tell her to fuck off, but she was his mother and for so long he wanted her in his life. “I know I have a lot of things to make up for, but…I want to be in your life Negan.”

The sound of Y/N’s phone going off was heard and she looked between both Negan and his mother, “Excuse me for a minute.”

Y/N stood up and gave Negan’s hand one firm squeeze before moving away from the table. She walked into the bedroom and closed the door behind her. Negan looked to his mother after who was giving him a sideways glance and Negan scoffed, “What?”

“That girl cares about you,” his mother reminded him and Negan could feel his breath getting caught in his throat. “You have no idea what she did to get my attention to come out here to see you. Pretty much begged me to be here.”

“I wish you would have come without her though,” Negan gulped, lowering his eyes away from his mother.

“I wish I would have too, it took that young lady contacting me in such a way that I realized how wrong I was being,” his mother restated with a firm tone. “I don’t know why the two of you are broken up, but you need to work on that. You clearly care about each other.”

“Of course I care about her, but she’s young and…” Negan began talking about what had happened and she threw her hands up in the air.

“I don’t care how young she is. Sometimes age is but a number. If she’s an adult, that’s all that matters. If you are two consenting adults, what’s the problem?” Negan’s mother poked at him and he shifted uncomfortably in his chair. “That girl would not stop until she got a hold of me. She cares about you. She wants you happy and I understand that I have a lot of making up to do, but she made it possible for me to be here today.”

“Yeah,” Negan felt his mother reach out to grab his other hand and squeeze it. Negan closed his eyes and thought about how long he had wanted his mother’s attention and how hard it was to get. Now because of Y/N she was sitting right across from him. “You’re right.”

----

Pacing in the bathroom, Y/N looked to the counter where she had set something out and she felt her heart hammering in her chest. She left Negan and his mother to themselves because she wanted them to have their moment together without interrupting. She knew that Negan wanted her to be there, but sometimes to heal the best thing they could have is to be alone.

Pacing in the bathroom, she stared at what she had out and was trying to bring herself to do what she had planned. Reaching out she plopped the items in her hand and then looked to the mirror. Taking a moment to think things over she thought about the weeks previously and tried to get herself out of her head. There was a big decision that she had to make and she had to make it soon.

The sound of the door being pulled open made her gasp and she scrambled to wrap her fingers around the items. Negan was standing at the door of the bathroom and gave her an odd expression with how jumpy she was.

“My mother wants us to have dinner together. She refuses to touch anything unless you are with us,” Negan informed her and she nodded.

“Sure, I’ll be there in a minute,” Y/N agreed and she watched Negan’s right eyebrow perk up while his hazel eyes were hooked on hers.

“You okay? You look a little pale,” Negan pointed out and she half nodded. Negan stepped forward and reached out to wrap his arms around her tightly. After a moment, she returned the gesture and felt him placing a kiss over her temple. “Thank you. I don’t know how you did it, but…thank you.”

“Of course,” she muttered with a shallow pant when Negan pulled away and cupped her face in his hands tenderly. Negan gave her an appreciative glance before stepping back. When Negan was gone, she opened her hand to look down at the two pills that were in it. Looking in the mirror she felt an insanely large amount of guilt filling her and she reached for a pill bottle that she had on the counter. Dropping the pills into the container, she moved out of the bathroom and into the bedroom to quickly toss the bottle into one of her drawers. Glancing back over her shoulder, she felt even more nervous now that things seemed to be getting better. It made her decision on things so much harder, but she was honestly doing the best with what she could. She was hoping that things would continue to get better and then maybe things would come into fruition for her and Negan because this decision was too damn hard.

----

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alpaca-writes · 3 years

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Mystics, Chapter 5

When Arch becomes hired on at Mystics, by Lyrem, everything seems to be going well- their life nearly becomes perfection. Soon enough, however, Arch realizes that perhaps not everything is as good as it seems…. Directory: [chapter one] [chapter two] [chapter three] [chapter four] Tag list: (Oh wow I have a taglist!?)@myst-in-the-mirror CW: kidnapping, threatening, knife, car crash.

CHAPTER FIVE: A BLUE TRUCK AND A BIG KNIFE There was a calmness to the halls of Strathford High School that hadn’t been felt by Arch in their entire time the had been attending it. English and Math passed them by in the morning without hardly any difficulty; they were even able to concentrate on The Tempest by William Shakespeare without zoning out every two minutes. Their heart was calm. Arch ate their lunch with their friends, talked about the newest episodes of Stranger Things, shared stupid memes, and complained about their homework. It wasn’t until their third period in chemistry that Arch began to sense a familiar dread. They took a deep breath before entering the room, seeing the divided rows of shining white tables, Arch took their usual spot near the back. They avoided allowing others to sit behind them as much as they could. It prevented hair pulling and stray gum, spitballs, and that lingering sense that they were being watched. As well, looking forward, it was easier to catch others staring; if that was what they wanted to do instead of concentrate on formulas. The classroom filled up steadily, and it looked a little bit sparse. It was then that Arch realized exactly what was different- exactly who was missing. Off to the side and ahead of them, Arch heard a conversation between two students as they set down their book bags. A few words in and Arch was already experiencing a shameless elation- one might even say it was hope. “- called my mom last night crying because she didn’t know where Jess was.” “Really? Crying?” “Apparently, Jess told her mom she’d be over at my place for a sleepover”- “Pfft, no way,” the one friend sputtered. “She was totally banging Kyle.” “Right?! Like I wanted to say something to my mom, but like, how would that even sound? Oh, sorry Miranda, Jess wasn’t here at all, she was just fucking some kid you barely know. I can’t say that. It would be cruel.” “Well, Kyle isn’t around today again either. Neither’s Marc”-

The classroom filled with more chatter. Some talking about anime, and others continuing the gossip of what could have happened to Jess, Marcus, and Kyle. None of the students could say they were able to reach them. One mentioned knowing that Marcus was downtown a couple nights ago which prompted a response from another friend-

“I know he has hockey practice tonight. He’ll be there even if he’s really sick.” Jordan spouted. “He’d never leave the Strathford Flyers hanging.”

Finally, Ms. Peters shut the conversations down. Arch was getting tired of hearing the chatter anyway. They may have been a tad curious of the three’s sudden disappearance, but ultimately, they didn’t want to become too hopeful. Their disappearance was a blessing. Arch would take it as one for as long as it would last.

Days turned to weeks, and still, no one had seen or heard a single thing from any of the three missing students. Police officers came into the school, probably too late to really score any reliable interviews from other students. They spoke to friends, to teachers, but not to Arch.

No one really cared what Arch had to say- and for that, they were quite thankful. They wouldn’t need to justify why they seemed happier, why they seemed more relaxed, why they were suddenly free more-so than they ever had been before. If given the opportunity, Arch probably would have told them every horrible thing Marcus, Kyle, and Jess had ever done to them, and every horrible thing they said to them until the constable would also agree: this world was a much better place without them here to spoil it for everyone else.

With less than a month left in their grade twelve experience, Arch boosted their marks in every subject. It was as though, since the disappearance, even the act of thinking became easier. Everything became easier. Arch was finally succeeding, just as they had always deserved to.

Lyrem was paying them well, as he had promised; not once, had a check bounced. Soon, Arch would have enough saved to rent a place of their own anywhere in the city, from there they would get their own car and finally be free. Out of school and out of the house of horrors, as they would jokingly call it.

-----------------

“What about a dress? Have you thought about a colour?” Their mother’s black hair fell in front of her face as she loaded the dishwasher.

Arch stared at her from the table in the kitchen. They remained calm. It wasn’t an unexpected question, and they had been preparing their answer for some time.

“Rompers are more comfortable,” they said casually. It was as far as they were willing to go to appease the masses for prom night.

Their mother laughed with a strangled amusement.

“A romper? Where on earth will you find a bedazzled romper!?”

Maleficent cried out a whine for more food, distracting the conversation, and muted Arch’s response. Their mother continued.

“We’ll head out tomorrow morning then, find you something just right.”

“Tomorrow’s Saturday, I work tomorrow.”

“Sunday then. End of story. Pass me your plate, girl.”

Seething, Arch handed over their dishes and left the kitchen in a huffed silence. It was a warm night. The front door shut behind them with a screech, and Arch breathed in the cool night air that left them feeling purified.

Their small, well-worn, house was between several sets of condominiums, shaded by maples that glowed in the twilight hues. Arch walked on until they saw the glimpse of downtown buildings and neon lights of convenience stores that would stay open as long as people were out drinking late and needing a pick-me-up.

Lost in thought, and in some rage, Arch turned down twenty-third avenue. Another several blocks and they would reach the outside of Mystics- not that they particularly wanted to be reminded of work. The shop would have been closed over an hour ago anyway. Lyrem would have been long gone by now. There wouldn’t be any harm peering in as they passed on by.

The streets slowly emptied. Soon, Arch was walking alone. Even the cars that passed became sparse in number. The sun dipped further down, and streetlights clicked on overhead as a roaring thunder carried on from an indiscernible distance to the east.

Narrow alleys passed them by without care. If Arch weren’t so high strung, they’d likely have avoided the area at this time of night. Unfortunately, though, their mother always had this lingering effect on them. An effect that would push them to do great things out of spite. In a way, Arch had to thank her. If it wasn’t for her constant callous preaching, Arch wouldn’t have looked for work so desperately. Perhaps they’d never have met Lyrem.

Speaking of the weird old man, his shops’ lights were still glowing on, glinting against a black street-side car parked near the door. The lights flickered, and shut off.

Arch felt something move behind them. Two steps, then a hand covering their mouth, and a strong arm wrapped itself around one of their arms and their waist. In a panic, Arch threw out one of their elbows, jabbing into the side of the assailant, just under their ribs. Keeping their grunts to a minimum, the assailant lifted Arch off of the ground and pulled them into an alley a couple stores back from the spiritual accessory shop. Knowing they had little weight, Arch continued to use their elbow, as well as their legs, and when they had a split-second chance, Arch bit down painfully hard on the gloved hand that put itself around their mouth.

The assailant couldn’t help but cry out, and he curled his fingers in. Keeping a grip tight around their waist, pulled his hand away and shook it off as it throbbed beneath the gloves.

“You idiot!” The voice hissed. “I’m trying to help you!”

“Get off of me!” Arch commanded them. “I swear to God, man I will rip your throat out next! Let me go- HELP! FI”-

The assailant panicked by throwing Arch against the side of the brick wall and they fell quiet after the sudden smacking sound that their body made. They couldn’t be sure that Arch hit their head, but at least they were stunned enough to stop shouting.

“Are you still awake?”

Arch was piled up in a heap beside the brick wall. Whoever put them there clearly didn’t think they’d do much damage, but they felt a popping sensation in their shoulder, and now a searing pain when they tried to lift it. A bruise was currently forming on their brow bone over their right eye, and a warm sensation was travelling from there and dripping down to the side of their cheek. The assailant tried lifting them to their feet but was met with a strained, tearful cry as they did so.

“I’m sorry. I know I hurt you, but if you want to stay safe, I need you to come with me.” They almost said it like they meant it, Arch thought.

Trying to keep the worst thoughts from their mind, Arch began to bargain with what small amount of coherence they currently had as they were being pulled further into the alleyway to who-knows-where.

“I- I don’t have anything on me, okay? No money- Look, you- you can have my phone, my sneakers whatever, okay, dude? Just leave me alone- don’t hurt me”-

“I need you to be quiet,” he said. “If you’re too loud you’ll attract his attention.”

He led them to a small blue truck, pushing them to the passenger’s side and opened the door.

“Get in.”

Arch’s eyes darted from the seat, to the man and back and forth until the man furtively glanced down the alley.

“I said get in, Arch. Now.”

He drew a knife from his belt. A hunter’s knife. A well-used Bowie; long and wide, and now receiving small raindrops as he stilled it in his hands threateningly. Arch blinked through the onslaught of tears covering their face as they stood there, cornered between the knife and the truck.

The man wasn’t looking at Arch at all. They were looking down the alley, searching for any possible sign of movement. With a push from his forearm, Arch was against the side of the cloth seat. The inside smelled like old leather and rotted wood, and despite everything in their mind telling them to keep fighting, Arch hoisted themselves into the passenger’s side, and winced as the man slammed the truck door beside them.

“Finally,” the man exclaimed as he climbed into the other side. He started the truck.

The darkness was too great still to make out many discernible features of their captor- but even in good lighting, Arch wasn’t brave enough to look at them for too long. The knife was still out, gripped tightly by the driver in his right hand. For some reason, Arch’s mind drifted as the truck began to turn from the alley and onto the main road- they put on their seatbelt.

The man stared at them oddly. He sped up to the speed limit, just slightly going over. The truck fell into a deeply threatening silence as it drove on leaving many questions unasked.

“Where…” Arch started bravely, “are you taking me?”

The man checked his rear-view mirror, and it seemed like he was ignoring the question until he let out a short, relieved breath.

“Somewhere safe.”

It was a silly question, Arch realized this just as they were finished asking it. Any serial killer worth their salt wouldn’t reveal such a thing. Arch sniffed, and used their good arm to test the wound formed over their eye. They pulled away fingers now coated in fresh blood.

The rain was falling harder now. The wipers turned on, rhythmically groaning, keeping time for the two silent guests. The man was taking a turn out of the city, exiting off of one highway and onto another. Lighting struck in the distance.

“Did… Did you take a girl named Jess too?”

Arch was finding their bravery again. The man shook his head.

“No. It was too late for her. Lyrem is usually more meticulous about who he takes and when. Her, and her friends were… unexpected prey.”

Arch’s brows knit together in deep thought, and turned to confusion.

“I- I don’t understand,” they said. “Lyrem from Mystics?”

“It’s not exactly a popular name, kiddo.”

“What are you saying? You think Lyrem took Jess and Kyle and Marcus? Him?” It was almost funny to think about Lyrem trying to lure kids away to some undisclosed location. Hilarious even, if Arch wasn’t just threatened and lured away by knifepoint and being driven to some undisclosed location at that very moment.

“No, I am saying that I know that Lyrem took Jess and Kyle and Marcus. He’s probably killed one of them already. Maybe two after tonight. And you know this too…” the man glanced over to Arch. A look of sympathy stretched across his tired face. “You just don’t remember.”

“I would have remembered that.” Arch determined quietly. The knife rested lightly in the man’s hand now. He was relaxing… slowly. He continued talking to Arch like they were familiar with each other.

“You don’t believe me, and that is perfectly understandable. But haven’t you noticed? Missing time? Confusion? His magic depends on you being compliant. I just don’t know how far he’s gone with you yet. Until I know that, we won’t be able to retrieve the memories you need.” He sighed. “I know it doesn’t make sense to you now, but I promise it will. Have you noticed any injuries on yourself? Any you don’t recall getting from some place else?”

Arch met their gaze and shook their head. They hadn’t really been listening, just eyeing the blade beside them.

“Damn.”

Any further turns and Arch would find it difficult to find their way home. If they were going to make a move on this insane son of a bitch, then they would have to do it now.

Their right arm was useless the way it was sitting, half out and half in the pocket of the joint. Their left hand might be unreliable with aim, but Arch was certain that it would get the job done. Straightening in their seat, they winced. Another bolt shot down from the sky blindingly and shook the vehicle with its power.

In the distraction, Arch pulled the knife up an out from the man’s hand- and with one quick motion, forced themselves over the middle seat. Arch brought the knife down into the top of the man’s right thigh.

He shouted angrily, cursing at them wildly and lost control of the truck. As the blade sank in with a rude amount of force, all care for the current business was abandoned. His leg pressed on the gas as it stretched out for relief of the searing wound, and swerved along the rain-slicked road with frightening speed. Arch released the knife, and braced themselves as the truck spun around, and then launched itself straight into the dark and muddy ditch.

#writing #creative writing #whump #whump blog #whump writing #whumpblr #mystics #mystics by alpaca

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hobbitsnapes · 4 years

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The Red Hoods Protègè chapter 13

Older Damian Wayne x ofc

(Photo made by my lovely friend @tyuuniverse)

Summary:Red hood has taken a young vigilante under his wing and subsequently changes Damians life forever. (I suck at summary’s)

A soft hum leaves her as she wakes, the soft plush of her blanket creating a soft warmth that surrounds her. She opens her eyes and is met with a soft glow of the sun peaking through the blinds of her window. The glow creating a lovely warmth of light throughout her room.

A soft hum is heard from outside her door, growing more clear along with soft footsteps. A faint knock to her door is heard before it opens, Jason walking in with a faint smile and tray of food. His hair is a total mess, having grown out slightly with Unruly curls. Clad in black pajama bottoms and a grey t-shirt. His smile growing larger at the sight of her awake. “Haapy birthday too yoouu. Happy birthday too yoouu. Happy birthday dear sandy, happy birthday to yoouu.” He sang softly, a small laugh leaving her as she brightly watches him sing. She had heard him sing multiple times, loving every second due to his incredible voice. But whenever he saw her, he’d stop immediately. She was glad to see he had even done that small bit in front of her.

She sat up in her bed, Jason scooting his large body underneath her covers with her, setting the tray on both their laps. A small gasp leaving her at what he brought. A bowl filled with yogurt that had been neatly filled with bananas, strawberries, granola and blueberries. 2 slices of bread with peanut butter. And a glass of cranberry juice. “Is it-“ “it’s chunky peanut butter.” She turns her body to the side, hugging him tightly. The action almost making him spill the entire breakfast. He wraps his arms around her, a soft laugh from him shaking her slightly. “Thank you so much dad.” She mumbles in his chest. A large smile covering his face. “You’re welcome bub.”

They both sat in bed as they both ate their meals. Her going straight for her parfait. “Are you gonna eat anything?” She asks. “I already ate, I’ve been up since about 5 o’clock.” “What’d you have?” A soft smile etched on his face at her question. “I had eggs and toast.” A soft laugh leave her at his answer. “You and you’re bread.” “Hey, your thing is yogurt, my thing is bread.” They both start laughing, finding humor in their love for yogurt and bread.

“Okay now that you’re 19, we must culture you in one of the greatest things in cinematic history.” A laugh leaving her as she watches him crouched in front of the tv, looking like a large Gollum. “And what would that be?” She asks as she watches him press play on the DVD player. “Star Trek.”

A large laugh leaves her, turning to Jason who is trying to hold In his laughter. “Not now doctor.” She says, his face breaking as he bursts out a large laugh.

“You guys didn’t have to do all of this for me.” Tears fill her eyes as she says this, some cascading down her face due to what she walked in to see. The kitchen that usually only has a small table, a fridge, and some cabinets is filled with white and red balloons. 4 gift wrapped boxes varying in size sit neatly beside the table. There sat Roy, Artemis, bizaro sat in there large bean bag, not being able to sit at one of the wooden seats, and Jason, standing with a large smile on his face. She had fallen asleep on the couch some 3 hours prior. Huddled comfortably with her blanket and pillows around her. He had successfully picked her up, and carried her to her bedroom. A faint smile on his face as he watched her let out slow breaths and truly look at peace. “But we wanted to hun, it’s your birthday after all.” Artemis says as she goes and hugs her, a sob leaving sandy when her arms wrapped around her.

Her last birthday, was nothing like the one tonight.

It has been only 8 months since Jason had adopted her, helping to train her for a year at that point. The day was coming closer each day, and each day she dreaded it.

It was the day before her birthday, a cold autumn night and they both were up on the roof sparing. She had been hoping he wouldn’t remember, but as fate would have it, he did. “Okay let’s call it a night.” He says slightly out of breath. Where he had the muscle and force, she was significantly smaller and more flexible. Being able to get out of his grip and out of the way to take him down. Where she didn’t have the strength to take him down, she used his strength and hits against him. They both walk over to the door to the roof, walking down the staircase and into their apartment. Slowly the apartment was coming more into a home, having just gotten a tv and a few rugs due to the hardwood flooring being so cold.

They walk into the kitchen, grabbing leftovers from the previous night when jason invited his friend Artemis over, it had started out uncomfortable. With sandy mostly staying in her room, still awkward and aloof around Jason. While their bond had definitely improved, it still was awkward when it came time for their personal lives. But Artemis truly seemed nice, having knocked on her door and asked if she would join them for a movie. Sandy had agreed, sitting beside Jason on the small sofa, and ultimately had ended up falling asleep on Jason. Not knowing the large smile on jasons face seeing the young girl so peaceful.

They both stood in front of the counter, eating their pasta silently. It wasn’t an uncomfortable silence that typically filled the room, but rather a calm one. She let out a yawn, looking at the clock and seeing it was 10 o’clock. Panic filled her, in fear that he’d remember and want to do something with her in the next few hours. “Hey, I’m gonna head to bed okay?” She said, Jason looking over to her with a sad smile, “okay, get some rest.” He gave her a small hug goodnight. And she headed into her room, climbing into bed, and fell asleep.

She felt a slight tapping on her arm, opening her eyes and grabbing for her picture frame by her bed, held over her head ready to hit, but stopping when she saw what woke her. There sat Jason, with a small cupcake in hand and a lone candle sticking out of it. And a small smile covered his face. “Thought I’d come in to wish you a happy birthday, probably wasn’t a good idea to wake you up like that.” He said, with a small chuckle. “I-thank you. How did you-?” “I have a copy of your birth certificate in my room, is in with all the adoption papers. And besides, how could I forget? Today’s your 18th birthday?” “I just, I haven’t celebrated since-“ “I know, since what happened. I know how it feels, I didn’t start celebrating mine until just a year ago.” She tilted her head at this, not understanding why he wouldn’t. “Why’s that?” She asks. A sigh leaves him until he looks down to the foot of her bed. “A lot of stuff happened to me. And for years I wasn’t ever able to do it, I had a messed up life, and until last year, I never wanted to do it. I wanna celebrate with you, and I can tell you didn’t want to either. I don’t want you to end up like me, not wanting to celebrate because of what’s happened to you. To this day I feel uncomfortable when Roy wishes me happy birthday. And besides, you’re an adult now!” Tears fill her eyes and she lets out a small laugh. Setting the cupcake on her nightstand and hugging Jason tightly. She sobs in his neck as he hugs her closer. “Thank you, so much.” “It’s no problem bub, now, let's go celebrate with a movie.”

The night was truly amazing, everyone had sang her happy birthday, had her blow out 19 candles, 2 of which had been trick candles that kept lighting back up. That was until Bizarro had seen the frustration on her face, and slammed his fist into the cake. Spewing it everywhere and making everyone laugh. So everyone sat there and enjoyed their mushed up cake, and laughed and joked around, truly feeling like a family.

First box came from Roy, when she opened it, it contained all of the resident evil games, from the originals to the remake ones. She hugged him tightly, having wanted to play them with him for a while due to them playing games on a weekly basis.

The second one came from bizarro, it had opted to be what was originally a Superman plushie, has been painted by hand to resemble himself. “It much uglier now than it was.” He said, a large laugh erupting out of the room from everyone.

The second box was from Artemis, it was smaller than the others but heavier than the last. And when she opened it, tears collected in her eyes. There lay in cloth, a black hunters knife with rope wrapped around the handle, with her insignia on a button on the front. The blade was pristine, having a shine when she lifted it. “I had it made custom for you. It’s made of one of the strongest materials on earth. Able to cut through bone in a single slash.” Sandy set the knife back in the box, and looked up at heritage tear filled eyes. “Thank you,I love it so much.”

The last one was from Jason, it was a small box, the smallest one out of all of them. Jason stood there, shaking slightly as he watched her open it, a small gasp and tears fell down her face when she saw what it was. It was a pure red heart locket. It had a metallic finish to it and had small intricate details in it. But that wasn’t what made tears stream down her face, it was what was inside. The locker opened to 4 photos. First one being the day jason signed the adoption papers. Tears were filling both their eyes in the photo, hugging righting with the largest smiles on their faces. In jason's hands he held the papers clear in the photo. That was one of the best days of her life.

The next one was from the fair, when they had been high up in the Ferris wheel. It was like she could relive the day like it was just yesterday.

The third photo was the first day she had gone out with the outlaws, everyone stood around her. Jason was directly behind her, with Roy and Artemis behind him with bizarro in the back. Everyone had been suited up ready to go, and you could clearly see everyone, apart from jason due to his helmet, with large smiles. Truly feeling like one large family.

The last one is truly the one to cause tears to fall down her face. There stood her and her parents. It was her 15th birthday. Both parents hugging her tightly, smiles beaming at the camera. Not knowing that just 3 months later, they would be gone.

She hugged jason tightly to her, tears falling down both their faces. “I-I don’t know what to say.” She sobs into his chest. She never thought he’d get her something like this, having thought he’d get her a new weapon or something for her suit. But one question still remained. “But, why did you add the last one?” She asked. “Because, I might be your dad now, but they’re still your parents. I’m so happy I found you, you literally keep me going each day. But I still want you to remember who you are fighting for. Family. They are still your family no matter what. And I wanted to have that made for you, so whenever you’re doubting, or feel alone, you open that to see your family and those who love you. And I never want you to forget them. I never took photos of my parents when Bruce took me in. And now, I hardly remember what they look like. Keep those memories with you, so you never forget your way.” Years fell out of everyone’s eyes at his speech, even bizarro has let out a few as he brought everyone into a large hug. “Okay now, we’ve got a dinner I got booked for ya in half an hour, so go get ready.” Jason said, she turned to bizarro, “go have sad time with family. I go find family too. Small angel and I can have bizarro day soon!” Everyone laughed, truly feeling the love and joy in the air brought to them by her.

Damian ran as fast as he could, jumping from one building to the next to grab one of the last remaining criminals from the bank robbery him and Bruce just ended. He almost made it to the man, until he heard a laugh. It stopped him dead in his tracks as he looked down, pain flooding in his heart at what he saw. There walked sandy with Jason, Roy, and Artemis. She was, beautiful. Wearing a long sleeve black cocktail dress, with red heels and red lipstick. She was walking along with her head thrown back laughing. It shot a pain through his heart at just how happy she looked. Memories of him making her laugh like that, making her smile and watching the utmost joy cover her face. He wondered why she was so dressed up tonight. And then he remembered what today was.

They sat on the ground, sitting beside one another with his arm around her and her head resting on his shoulder. Having just had a small picnic near the pond, playing with Titus and the small ducks. Today had been his 19th birthday. He asked her if they could go back to the same park they met at, he had been shocked when he saw her with a picnic basket and blanket. Today had been one of the best ones he’s had. Having skipped out on having a large party or gala, no extravagant evenings or day. Just getting to spend time with her. He turned to her, his arm wrapped around her waist. A soft smile made her face look even more breathtaking, her hair messy due to the many times he had run his fingers through it. He noticed overtime that whenever she liked stressed or sad, that if he just ran his fingers through her hair delicately, it would bring a smile to her face and calm her. “Hey, you actually never told me when your birthday is?” He asked, he knew they were around the same age, her telling him their first date she was 18. She looked up at him, the same smile was there, and her cheeks dusted with red fur to the chill air of autumn starting. “My birthday is actually coming up, it’s September 15.” A smile covered his face, “well then, looks like I’ve got to make sure my schedule is free that day then.” A faint red dusted her cheeks further, looking up at him with her eyebrow raised. “And why’s that?” She asks, a small chuckle leaving damian as he gazed down at her. “Well you just made my birthday the best one I’ve ever had. I’ve gotta make sure I make yours just as amazing. And besides, why wouldn’t I wanna spend a day celebrating the life of the most beautiful and breathtaking woman in the world?” A small smirk covered his face as he says this. She ducked her head down and into his chest at this, “Damian.” She wines as she smashes her face into his chest. He chuckles as he brings her in closer, kissing the top of her forehead, causing her to let out another wine. He pulled her face out of his chest, crimson red covering her face. He held her chin in his fingers, keeping her face close to his. A smile covered both their faces as their eyes gazed into one another’s. “What? It’s nothing but the truth?” A small giggle drips out of her as she puts her face in his neck, causing Damian to smile as he watched the large smile on her face grow.

Tears filled his eyes as he watched her. He had everything planned for the day. He was gonna take her out to their usual coffee shop, flowers in hand wearing the same attire he wore on their first date. He’d then take her all over the city, to the peer, to the park, anywhere she had wished he would take her that day. But what he truly was planing for was later when the sky had darkened, moon high up in the shy as stars danced in the blackness of the night. He was going to take her to a pond outside of Gotham, the sky so clear and when the moon was high in the sky, it shined over the water. He was going to have a small picnic Uber one of the many trees right beside the water. With white Christmas lights stung around the blanket, to give a soft glow to the area. Plush silk blankets and pillows surrounding them,with an easel and canvas and a chair, he’d have her wear a dress he had brought in the backseat of his car. It was an ivory chiffon dress that cascades down her body. He’d have her lay there, dress sprawled out as she layer there as he painted her. Making her truly look like an angel sent to him from the heavens. That night they would lay there, laying under the stars, wrapped up in one another. And right before they fall asleep, as they lay there together, under the covers with the lights and the moon giving a soft radiant glow to them, he would ask her to be his.

Now he looked down at the girl he had planned on making his tonight. The girl who stole his heart, the girl who made him the happiest man alive, walk without him, a large smile on her face, a smile that he didn’t cause. He watched as his heart broke further, watching the girl who stole his heart, but broke it at the same time.

Tags: @psychovigilantewrites @comic-nerd-dc @comic-brew

#damian wayne x reader #damian wayne fanfiction #damian wayne imagine #older!damian wayne #batman #batfamily #batfam x reader #damian wayne #dc #dc imagine #dceu #red hood #jason todd #dick grayson #tim drake

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surveys-at-your-service · 3 years

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Survey #388

“i wanna stay inside all day / i want the world to go away / i want blood, guts, and chocolate cake / i wanna be a real fake”

Name three people who you'll never forget: I doubt I'd forget Jason even if, God forbid, I had dementia. That's trauma for ya. I HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGHLY doubt I could EVER forget my mom, either. In many different ways, she's literally kept me alive and has done so, so much for me. Then there's also Sara, whose friendship with me matches no one else I've been friends with. Have you ever been told you are fake? No. What was the name of the last pet of yours that died? Teddy, my dog. Do you like pineapple? I do. When was the last time you wished the day would just get over with? I know this sounds seriously depressing, but that's... pretty much every day. My life is just currently such a drag that being awake bores me senseless. But it's funny, because then some nights I stay up late for like... no reason. My existence alone is confusing. Is there any specific number that has any significance to you? No. Do you remember much from high school? I remember a lot from high school. Where would you go for the ultimate honeymoon? Isn't there a black sand beach in Iceland or something? Take me there, man. I'd also love to go to the Bahamas, but ew humidity and also I'm afraid of the Bermuda Triangle lmfao. If you had to get a tattoo tomorrow, what would you get? The big piece I want to get on my left upper arm; it's called "Denialism" by NukeRooster on deviantART. I got her permission forever ago to get it tattooed. Do you have any alarms set? What time and what for? Not currently. Have you ever had to work while there was a film crew at your work place? No. Have you ever supported anyone’s Kickstarter? If so, what was it? No. What do you like in your omelet? Ham pieces and cheese. Have you ever boycotted something? Yes: Chick-fil-A. Homophobic, transphobic pieces of shit aren't getting my business. Has anyone ever borrowed something from you, and not returned it? Yes. Most notably a video game I LOOOOVED as a kid. I was mad salty and still am lmao. Do you vent a lot on social media? God no, not anymore after embarrassing the everliving FUCK out of myself with a suicide note. What was your first bill you started paying on your own? I don't pay any bills bc unemployed. .-. Do you watch ASMR videos? No. What is your favorite charitable cause to donate to or volunteer for? The Trevor Project. Have you ever received a misdiagnosis? Yes. A psychiatrist I had in middle school thought I had ADHD, which was ABSOLUTELY ludicrous. Most recently, my long-time bipolar 2 diagnosis has been questioned, but I do think I have it. I think. Does it bother you when others don’t share the same religious beliefs as you? No? Freedom of religion is a thing. What was your last argument about? Ummmm... I don't remember. Probably something with Mom. Have you found your first gray hairs yet? No. Somehow. You'd think all the stress would have me pure gray by now, lol. What are the names of all the pets you’ve had? Dude, I've had WAY too many for this. What’s the most you’ve ever spent on a cosmetic or skincare product? *shrug* Who was the last person that invited you to go somewhere? Did you accept? Mom invited me to come with her to Nicole's to get out of the house because at the time our A/C was still out. I didn't want to go, even though damn did I suffer, haha. What was the last food item that you toasted, other than bread? That's... a great question. I don't know if I toast anything other than bread. Have you ever named any of your pets after a cartoon character? I remember I had a cat named Taz when I was younger. What was the last thing that someone else recommended, or suggested you try? My TMS doctor is like SUPER friendly and makes the treatment go by so fast (it's exactly 22 minutes and 30 seconds; don't ask why), and recently she was fangirling to Mom and me about the show Once Upon a Time, haha. I saw very little of it with Jason, but Mom did check it out. When was the last time you wore a hat? What kind? I have zero idea. When was the last time you ate a bowl of ice-cream? What flavour? Oh wow, it's been a long time. It was probably vanilla with chocolate syrup? If you menstruate, has your cycle ever synced with anyone close to you? Yes. Tell me something positive about the town or city that you live in. ... You said "positive," right? Did your parents have high expectations for you to excel in school and go to college/university? Yes. They were pretty serious about going to college when my sisters and I were younger, but they opened up to the concept that maybe it wasn't for all of us (coughmecough). Are you a polite person? I genuinely think I am. I definitely try to be. Have you ever been in a relationship where everything with your partner felt natural and effortless? Sigh. Yeah. Have you ever been in a relationship where everything was difficult and rocky? No. That's not the kind I'd stay in very long at all. I mean yes, there are always bumps, but there comes a point where you gotta say fuck nah and find something better. When you were a teenager, did your parents set rules about dating? Other than keeping age gaps in mind, no. Have you ever committed a crime that directly harmed another person? No. Did you grow up in an urban, suburban, or rural area? My childhood home was suburban, but leaned towards rural. We were on the very edge of the town. Which disease do you personally think is the most horrible? After seeing my mother suffer from borderline stage 4 ovarian cancer, I've gotta say cancer. My mother is the strongest person I know and yet she cried so frequently from chemotherapy. It broke my fucking heart. The person I copied the survey from mentioned especially childhood cancers, and I have to agree. Like just... why. "Everything happens for a reason." Bull. Fucking. Shit. Just TRY and convince me why a young child has to deal with CANCER. Do you remember where you first drove to after getting your license? I still don't have my license, as I've said in many a survey before. What did you get into trouble for the most when you were a kid? Being on the computer too much. What is your biological sex? Female. Do you use online dating? Or do you use another method for finding dates? Nah. I'm at the point in my life where I wanna let love just find me and not actively search for it. What is the oldest gaming console you own? We MIGHT still have our old Atari? If not, it'd be a GameBoy Advance. Which accents can you emulate pretty well? Just British. Do you think you'll ever manage to do everything you want to? No. But then again, I think that sounds pretty realistic? I doubt most people check off everything on their bucket list. What do you fear most? Probably becoming truly homeless, living on the streets. Do you wear shoes around the house? No. Are you a good driver? If you can't drive yet, do you think you'll be good? I mean, I'm not the worst in the world. My mom's always pointed out though that I ride on the brakes (which I do out of fear) and I tend to speed up and slow down quite a bit. I also stop kinda abruptly sometimes. What is/was your favorite thing about school? Seeing friends. What are you most likely to spend money on? My own personal money, tattoos, lol. Have you ever been a complete fangirl/fanboy over anything? @_@ Do you hate how, when the public like a celebrity, they overpublicize them? I feel bad for them, more than anything. You breathe wrong and suddenly it's news-worthy. It's like your every inconsequential action is under heavy surveillance and judgment, and it seems so unfair. Have you ever became attracted to someone you weren’t at first because their personality made you find them physically attractive? That was Jason for me. I never thought he was ugly, but regardless, he became THE most attractive man in the world to me. Have you ever worked in retail? Yes. -_- Are you even a little bit racist? Nah man, it's 2021, baby. Were you more fond of swings, monkey bars, or seesaws as a child? I was all about the swings. Do you believe in a near-future apocalyptic event? I don't know or care, honestly. A gamma ray or whatever they're called could incinerate us all tomorrow. A black hole could swallow the earth in an hour. We don't know. Do you have a chandelier in your home? No. Do you have a bar with stools? No. Is your Christmas tree faux or real? If faux, what color? We use a fake green one. Do you eat the crusts of your bread? Yes; it's the first part I eat. Which body type would you say you had? Did you know whales can survive on land? :^) Have you ever flown a kite? Yeah! I used to LOVE doing that with Dad as a kid when the field across our house wasn't in use (tobacco was grown there). What’s your preferred flavour of jam? I just like grape. What kind of animal did you last pet? My cat! Name a celebrity that you admire that nobody would expect you to: I massively admire Jeffree Star's work ethic. Do you prefer to shave or wax? Shave. I used to wax my eyebrows, but now I just don't care. Would you ever have sex in a public place? Uh, no. Do you think Jenna Marbles’ videos are funny? I've actually never watched her. Your favourite pasta dish: Just your normal spaghetti with meatballs. Strangest thing you’ve ever seen? Probably what I'm assuming was a star (but it was green???) flickering and then fizzling out of the sky kind of like some sort of backwards firework. I'd been watching it literally grow over a few nights, so when this happened, it was a big "?????? the fuck??????". It honestly scared me for some reason so I went inside after that. Aliens? I say aliens. Ever had a crush on somebody of the same sex? Yes. Has anybody ever called you a bastard? I don't think so. Who is the last person you ignored? uhhhhhhh Would you wear feathers in your hair? So actually, for my first prom, I wanted to wear a blue jay feather I had in my hair, reason being Jason's nickname from his parents was always "J Bird." It ended up not working out because we couldn't make it look natural with what we had. When was the last time you were well and truly scared? Hm. Favourite member of your favourite band: Ozzy, obviously, haha. Who’s your favourite female rapper? I don't have one.

#survey #surveys #questions #lyrics: ''teen idle'' by marina

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blueroan-equestrian · 4 years

Text

More to life 7

If you haven’t read ch 6

https://blueroan-equestrian.tumblr.com/post/624464011449204736/more-to-life-6

Ch 7 smut with the usual warnings

Geralt’s arms were tightly wound around me when I woke up, “Geralt? Are you awake?”

“Hmm?”

“Why exactly did we have to leave?”

“Because... I killed one of them.”

“It was self defence... you were defending us!”

“Well that doen’t matter, all they will see is that a Witcher killed a man ... if they didn’t come for me they’d go for you when I left... I can’t stand the thought of losing you... I’m sorry I’m having you relocate.” He whispers kissing my head.

“It’s alright, so long as I have you. Now we should get going while we have sunlight. I would say it looks to be high noon.” I say as I sit up.

Geralt grunts in agreement and we water the animals one last time and grab Jaskier as we head out.

We travel until the night falls and it’s too dark for anyone but Geralt to see. Geralt had to tie the horses then come and lead me down and over to a place where we could lay down. However it wasn’t as safe as we were last time, I woke up to being dragged off Geralt and up into the air. “Geralt!!!!!” I scream as I struggled against the grip on my leg.

“(Y/N!)” Geralt yelled, “Hold on! I’m coming!”

I wish I could say I got out unscathed but I fell and knocked myself out.

I wake up in Geralt’s arms. Roach is tied to the back of the wagon and Jaskier is upfront. “Geralt? Where are we?” I groaned.

“Shhhh.... it’s okay baby, you’re okay just rest we’re almost to a town that has a doctor. You’re going to be fine.”

I groaned but didn’t speak again, my head was pounding. I closed my eyes again and the next time I woke up, I was laying in a small bed with a strange man looming over me. “Geralt?” I squeaked. Geralt was beside me, on his knees in a second.

“I’m right here honey... just let the doctor look you over... ok you drink what he’s giving you, come on I’ll help you sit up.” He whispered as he gingerly lifts me to a slightly lifted position. I struggle but I managed to get down the nasty liquid in the cup the doctor gave me.

“Geralt!” I whined, “snuggles!”

He begins to pet my hair, “I can’t, honey you need sleep.”

I whined but do as I was told. I slept there for three days before being cleared to travel again.

Geralt seemed off. He keeps looking at me as if to say something but not sure how to say it. “Geralt? Are you ok?” I chirped from my place in the back of the wagon.

He looks at me from atop Roach as she walks beside the wagon, “I’m fine... but you’re not... I keep putting you in danger.”

I couldn’t stop the laugh that fell right out of my mouth, “Geralt you haven’t once put me in danger! First it was the prejudice of small men, then it was some beast none of which you sought out for. It was out of your control but you handled each situation to the best of your of abilities. You did great. I am lucky to have you.”

“She’s right Geralt... you know I don’t think I have ever seen you doubt yourself. This isn’t a time where you should and you know it. Now the time you left her, now that is a time that you should have doubted yourself.” Jaskier chimed.

I laugh and Geralt grumbles but ultimately agrees. We come to a clearing in a field and it’s a ways off from a tiny town and has a small pond.

Geralt hopped down and helped me down and took care of the horses before returning to me. He took me into his arms and whispered, “This is a perfect spot for us, the villagers won’t bother coming out here but we can ride into town for supplies. I’ll build us a little house here.”

“I think that is a great idea. Now we have a ton of eggs, how about some eggs for dinner? Tomorrow I will go into town for some supplies and some tools.”

“Sounds good. I am going to set up a protective perimeter to keep you safe from any monsters.”

“What would I do if I didn’t have you.”

“Still have your own home ... not have been put at risk.”

“Please I barely make it through the winters. If you hadn’t gotten me these shoes I would probably lost some toes. I was alone struggling... now I have you and Jaskier in my life to help. Jaskier made the past year so much better. He was a real help.”

“I’m glad you had him... and I’m sorry I left the way I did.”

“Geralt, it’s all okay. I need to make dinner now ... go make your circle.”

I have to dig a fire pit so Geralt has time to set up a tent. “Alright boys grab a bowl from the cart, dinner is ready.”

We were huddled together as we ate. “So why here?” I asked.

Geralt scarfing his eggs down, “Because this town is...”

“Where Geralt and I met! You big softy!” Jaskier chimed in (show version not any other version as I hear it did not go smoothly there).

“Aw! That’s so sweet! I love that!” I giggle leaning into Geralt.

He gives an uncomfortable smile that if you weren’t paying attention you would miss it. “Hmm.”

We laugh and go to bed. We rise and work together to start building a new home. It’s a hard job to do but I have brought the boys tools for the house while I got things to restart my garden. Geralt is building a larger house for us and Jaskier tries to help. I struggle to feed us as there isn’t much to gather and eggs aren’t enough. Geralt teaches me how to set traps and then how to prepare what is caught. He is just so capable, and I.... “Sweetheart,” he called, “are you alright?”

I look up at him and mustered up a smile, “Yeah... I’m fine... rabbit is almost cleaned and then I make us some rabbit stew with some of the plants I picked.”

The look he gave me said he didn’t believe me but he wasn’t one to push. After dinner he led me into the woods.

Smut coming if you want to skip find Jaskier’s picture as usual.

Geralt sits down on a log and pulled me onto his lap, “Ok... I might not be good at this... talking and caring thing but I’m going to do better for you. Now give me a kiss and then tell me what’s wrong.” Without hesitating I lean in and kiss him. But talking about feelings of inadequacy... that was a harder task.

“I...I... I’m feel like I’m a burden and like l’m going to be a bad wife.”

He holds me, “Why would you be a burden? I uprooted your entire life and you didn’t so much as complain about it. You are going to make me the happiest man because I will have the best wife. Now I have a friend who misses you. Can he come see you?” He nuzzles his nose into my neck.

“Mmmm! Please I’ve missed him.” I groaned as I bit at his lower lip.

He growled and sets me onto the ground and onto my back.

I look up at him with a smile as he pulled up my dress and slowly kissed his way down to rest between my legs. He grins up at me before plunging forward and licking a thick strip up my folds. I let out a loud gasp as I wiggle and his hands come up to hold my hips.

“Geralt! Oh Mmmm!” I moaned, “Please... mmm... please... more I need more!”

Geralt hums happily, “Mmm someone is needy... I want to hear you cry out my name.”

“Geralt!”

“Louder!” He growled into my folds.

“GERALT!!!!!!! Oh Goddess! GERALT OOOOOH!!!!” I screamed.

Geralt circled his tongue around my clitoris as he inserted his thick finger inside me and began to stroke me. He had me crying tears of ecstasy.

He climbed back up me smirking with my cum on his chin, “You taste sweeter than honey.” Geralt hummed kissing me deeply, “I want to feel you around me.” I groaned and allowed my hands to wonder down and pulled loose it’s ties before pulling him out to guide him to my entrance. “Are you ready?” I nod and he plunges into me with a deep groan, “You are so tight. I’m going cum if you keep squeazing me like this and I haven’t even moved and I have a reputation to keep.”

I giggle, “Then maybe you should get to work.”

He growls and began to pump in and out, both of us losing our senses. Coming down from our highs he put himself back and carries me back to our tent and we fell asleep.

We woke to Jaskier’s whining and shuffling around. Within the week we had a small house with a kitchen and two bedrooms. But all good things must end, “I got to go... we burned through what I made my last spit. Which is my fault. I made you relocated and replacing your garden and restablishing you has drained our founds. I need to go and take a few jobs.”

“But Jaskier is realing good at making money from nothing and I still have some soaps I can sell and I can take up washing clothes.” I begged.

Geralt takes me into his arms, “We can’t live off that, and I won’t have you working yourself to the bone. While I... do... what? I’m not going to let you work till your fingers bleed while I ... try and fail to help? Fighting monster is what I’m good at, I can support us.”

“You built me a god damn house! You deserve nothing more than to be taken care of.”

“Hmm, and I love that you want to take care of me. I love you and I don’t want to leave you either but I do need to take care of you... and this is the only way I know how. I promise to be back no later than six months, then we’ll have a nest egg and I can come and go more fluidly. I know this isn’t what you want but it’s what we need right now. I will return to you.” He leans down and kisses me as he holds me close.

“I love you Geralt...”

ch 8 link

https://blueroan-equestrian.tumblr.com/post/625284095838240768/more-to-life-8

tags: @sdavid09, @ayamenimthiriel, @fire-in-her-veinz

#geralt x reader #geralt imagine #geralt of rivia #geralt x you #witcher geralt #geralt of rivia smut #geralt x y/n #witcher fanfiction #witcher smut #witcher #witcher imagine

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the-one-eighteen · 4 years

Note

You asleep? I just feel calmer. When I’m with you. Stay For the soft conversation starters. You can use them together or separate! It’s up to you ❤️

I am. So sorry this took so long! But, I finally got it to a point where I like it, and enjoyed writing it, so I hope you enjoy!

(read on ao3)

Eddie couldn’t say when he fell asleep. He vaguely remembers getting out of the showers at the end of his shift. Blearily recalls catching Buck’s eye across the locker room, and answering a questioning eyebrow with a signal for five more minutes. Knows he got in a car at some point.

But the line connecting point A to point B ends about the time Buck unlocked the door to his apartment and they both tumbled inside, if he’s being honest.

What little he can now make out of the dark living room seems to suggest their normal night in - open, empty take out containers from the Chinese place down the block on the table in front of them, tv screen black from where it’d powered off after too long sitting inactive. The light streaming in from the windows is flickering off and on, that same damn lightpost that’s needed it’s bulb replaced for the last two months or so - longer, if he takes Buck’s word for it.

The night around them is quiet at this point (though, what actual point that is is anyone’s guess. He’s groggy as hell, so...late is about all he’s got), with only the occasional rumbling of a car coming down the road, and more distant but ever present white noise of a city that never truly sleeps.

If Eddie tries really, really hard, all of that fades out pretty easily, leaving him in just this moment.

In the warm dark. On Buck’s familiar couch. With Buck’s achingly familiar warmth pressed against his side from where they’d fallen asleep leaning against each other. God, Eddie could melt back into sleep, just like that, if given the chance.

He didn’t get this often. Didn’t let himself get this often. It was too close to something he wanted - something he couldn’t have but was so tantalizingly close that if he didn’t know better, he’d bet Buck was toeing the same line he was.

But he wasn’t. Because that wasn’t Eddie’s luck. And Buck was a tactile bundle of electricity that pressed up against anything he could and anyone lucky enough to be caught in his wake just needed to hold on tight.

And looking too closely at how often he ended up on Buck’s couch - or, God forbid, how often Buck ended up on his, with Chris between them, all three of them curled into their own little bubble that made Eddie’s heart hurt with the comfort - well...that way madness lay.

So. Eddie didn’t allow himself this often. Or, so he told himself.

If only because his heart couldn’t take it.

But he was only so strong. And if the opportunity was going to land in his lap, who the hell was he to fight it.

He’d just about relaxed back into the couch, carefully tilting his head back against Buck’s where it was resting against his shoulder. If he was quiet enough in his want, maybe he could keep this a little longer. Stretch the moment out into the golden illusion of an early morning, if only for a breath.

But then he feels Buck shift against him. Feels the set to his shoulders stiffen as he wakes up slowly.

Eddie’s quiet in that moment. It’s selfish, and he knows it, but…

“You asleep?” It’s so soft that Eddie knows he could get away with pretending to not hear it. Is left to wonder why it’s so quiet for only a moment before Buck carefully shifts again.

“...Yeah.” Eddie finds himself murmuring back, even as he wishes he could pull that quiet sleepiness back around them. Knows it’s slipping between his fingers even as he pulls himself away to stretch. Like he hadn’t been up for several too long, too short minutes. “Looks like we missed the end of another movie, huh? Think we’ll ever make it through one that isn’t animated?”

There’s a soft, tired laugh, and Eddie grins. Can’t not, in the face of the sheer contentedness he can feel rolling off the other man.

“Not until Chris is too old for ‘em.”

And there’s the other reason Eddie toes that line, but never...quite makes the jump. Buck is always, always there, in their future. And Eddie would rather bury his own heart than take that chance away.

Simple as that.

“Speaking of, I gotta pick him up from Pepa’s pretty early, so I should probably get going.” He’s still smiling - can feel it in the curve of his mouth. Can’t quite feel it in any way that matters.

Something flashes across Buck’s face - still tired, his eyes shiny and his mouth curved sweetly and Eddie needs to look away - but Eddie can’t parse it in the dark, and, frankly, doesn’t want to try. Reading too much into things is practically a Diaz family tradition and he’s got enough tormenting him as it is, thank you.

“Yeah, alright. Drive home safe alright? And see you tomorrow night.”

Eddie hums softly in acknowledgement, standing and stretching again - less for show this time and more because the age where sleeping well on couches regularly is slowly but surely passing him by. He sees movement out of the corner of his eyes, just manages to turn in time to see Buck flop over the rest of the couch in his place, looking for all the world content to just. Stay there.

“Nice Buck. Try to make it up to your actual bed at some point will you?” Eddie asks around a laugh - too fond, even to his own ears - even as Buck grabs the pillow from that side to bury his face in with a vague grunt of acknowledgement. “Don’t complain to me tomorrow when your back is cramped then.” Eddie adds, only getting a muffled laugh and a blind shooing motion in his direction in response.

Eddie rolls his eyes, but leaves Buck to it. If the man wants to sleep on that dumb couch, let him. Eddie’ll just ignore his complaints during their shift.

And if he’d give a whole hell of a lot to be complaining about it right there with him, well, even he knows that sounds weird.

---

The knock at the door isn’t a surprise. Probably should be, given that it’s two-thirty in the morning on a Sunday.

But, Eddie’s been following the news all day. Been waiting for a call, all day.

(He’d finally gotten sick of waiting around nine, and had called into the station. Only to be told they had plenty of hands on deck, and that, by that point, everything was under control, and the news was just milking everything they could out of a sensational, but ultimately, nontragic accident.)

But, even through the shit footage the news had been running on repeat for hours, Eddie could see that just because it hadn’t been tragic, didn’t mean it had been easy. Construction project downtown had gone up in flames. Jumped to the building next to it. The only reason it hadn’t ended in tragedy was because that building tended to be empty on Saturdays. The building next to that one? Not so much.

So. The knock at the door is no surprise at all.

He answers the door and just raises an eyebrow at the sheepish look Buck shoots him. “Why do you still knock? You have a key.”

“Look, not everyone’s you Diaz. Some of us were raised with manners.” Eddie’ll give Buck this - he manages to hold the serious face for about thirty seconds before they’re both laughing at that.

“Get in here. There’s beer in the fridge, and some left over Thai.” And Buck grins at him, big and bright, and cracked along the edges in a way Eddie’s not even sure Buck realizes. But, in Buck comes, heading straight for the kitchen.

It was a thing.

Eddie couldn’t say when it started. But it was definitely a thing.

A long shift. A hard shift. Sometimes even just one out of left field. Mud and grit and smoke and ash. Some tangled mess of emotions or adrenaline or weathered nerves exposed for too long...and they’d both find their way to each other. Eddie would drop by Buck’s after making sure Chris was safe with his abuela or Peppa or Carla or, sometimes, bring him along, because nothing soothed the tangle like a night in with his family. Or Buck would drop by their place. And they wouldn’t talk about the shift. Talk about everything else around it, sure. Everything under the damn sun except the last twelve hours.

And it worked for them.

Even if Eddie always, always wished it didn’t have to end like it always, inevitably, did.

Look, he knew he was reaching the edge of pathetic and taking a dive right over the edge. He was aware.

He can hear Buck digging around in his fridge, rolls his eyes at the sound, even though he knows he’s still grinning at the sound. “I think there’s also some-”

“Cupcakes!”

Eddie snorted, shaking his head and heading to the couch. “Yeah, those. Chris wanted to make some for Carla’s birthday. Those’re the ones that didn’t pass the visual test. Still taste pretty good though.”

There’s a muffled ‘mmph’ that he’s pretty sure is Buck stuffing one in his mouth, so he felt okay assuming he agreed with him on that. “Bring me a beer while you’re raiding my fridge, would you?” Another muffled ‘mmph’ that Eddie’s pretty sure is acknowledgement.

It’s another couple of quiet moments after that before Buck actually follows through though, eventually shuffling into the living room with two beers, one of which he hands to Eddie as he collapses on the couch next to him.

Eddie pauses in his channel flicking long enough to glance over, raising an eyebrow. “Decided you weren’t hungry, or did you eat all the cupcakes instead?” He barely ducks the couch pillow aimed at his head in response, grinning back at Buck cheekily.

“I only ate one - and you were right, they were good, remind me to tell Chris that later - but...not really hungry.” He says, shrugging, and looking for all the world like he didn’t just tumble into Eddie’s house at fuck-all in the morning.

Sucks for him then that Eddie knows his tells like the back of his own hand. Can point out the stiffness in his shoulders, the minute jitteriness in his knee, the soft frown pressed down between his eyebrows with an accuracy Eddie likes to blame on time rather than any special attentiveness on his part.

Likes to. Really can’t.

“Mm. Well, it’s there if you change your mind.” Is all he says about it though.

They don’t talk about the shifts.

They drift into each other's orbits and let things work themselves out. Talking about it when there’s nothing to really...be done, just never really seemed to help. Shifts were going to suck, no matter how prepared you were for the job. That was just life.

Eventually, they’d settle on a crappy movie, one of them would fall asleep, the other probably right behind them, and, in cases like this, they’d wake up to Chris excitedly yelling at them about Buck visiting.

It was a thing.

And it looked like Buck was going to be the first one to pass out tonight, from how quickly his head is listing to the side, and how quickly Eddie gets worried about having to possibly clean beer stains out of his carpet from the way Buck is holding the bottle.

“You doing okay there, Buck?” Eddie asks, softly. Buck never dropped this quickly. Nervous energy didn’t dissipate this quickly. They had a routine, and they both stuck to it pretty well - falling into habits well worn and settling into groves well travelled.

“Huh?” Buck asks as he pulls his head back up, blinking blearily at Eddie before gracing him with a lopsided smile. “Yeah, yeah, just...tired man. And the nerves are already gone, you know? I just feel calmer, I guess. When I’m with you.” And that last part is said around a yawn, and Eddie swears his heart skips traitorously in his chest.

Before the feeling can fill the empty space in his lungs, he hums and pushes himself to his feet. “Lemme get you a pillow and a blanket then man. No point in trying to stay up if you’re already tuning out.” This time, Eddie doesn’t miss the flash of disappointment across Buck’s face.

Can’t quite convince himself he saw it right. Can’t quite convince himself he didn’t. Instead of examining it further, he’s turning on his heel down the hall to escape the doubt.

And Eddie wants nothing more in that moment than to drop the act. Invite Buck down the hall instead, where they could both curl up in the soft quiet of the night and stop pretending it was the not talking about it that made it better, at least for him.

And maybe...maybe for Buck too.

But, he doesn’t.

Can’t.

No matter how bright his heart burns at Buck’s small smile. At his soft thank you. At the sharp look in his eyes as he chases Eddie’s gaze.

But they don’t say a word about it.

It’s a thing.

---

Eddie doesn’t really know why he’s on Buck’s doorstep right now. Knows he should’ve called. Just as he knows he’s never needed to before.

It wasn’t a bad day. Shift was quiet - as quiet as a fire station in LA can ever be. Bobby had made lunch and they’d all actually been able to eat at least half their plates before the next call had come in. Every call had ended as well as they could.

Chris was on an overnight field-trip with his class to the natural history museum, and Eddie had a picture to show just how bright and excited he’d been about it that morning.

All in all? It’d been a perfect goddamn day. Well. No, not perfect. It’d been Buck’s day off.

...Huh. Maybe that’s why Eddie was on Buck’s doorstep.

...who the hell was he fooling anymore anyway? Definitely not himself.

Hopefully, still Buck though.

He doesn’t even get a chance to knock before the door’s opening and Buck’s grinning at him. “You know, when I said I was the one raised with manners, I wasn’t expecting you to take it to heart. You have a key too.” And then he’s gone again, leaving the door open behind him.

And Eddie has no choice but to follow.

“Was wondering when you’d stop by,” Buck calls out from the living room, where there’s two beers and a pizza box on the coffee table, “Pizza’s cold by now though. You missed your chance.”

“...Did you actually expect me to come by, or did you just grab that second beer just now to make it look like you did?”

“Wouldn’t you like to know?”

And Eddie...Eddie just laughs, feels the strain he’d been carrying in his shoulders since about noon (for no goddamn reason, why was he like this) smooth out with each step towards the living room.

“Chris make it on the bus okay this morning?”

Eddie hums as he collapses on the couch next to Buck, feeling what was left of the tenseness in his muscles melt away as he settles into his spot. “You saw the pic this morning, what do you think? He’s gonna talk your ear off when he gets back. Which reminds me, I’ve been ordered to make sure you’re at dinner tomorrow. Chris’ orders.”

Buck grins at him, slow and soft, so bright and so fond Eddie has to look away. Excuses it by grabbing for the beer in front of him. “Well, Chris’ orders, guess I’m crashing dinner tomorrow then.”

“Hope you didn’t have plans.” Eddie says, for the sake of it.

“Well, I mean, I did…” Eddie feels his stomach drop - a sharp twist of discomfort as he quickly tries to figure out how to backpedal. There were joking expectations, and then there was seriously disrupting his best plan’s day just because he and his kid wanted to, and - “I was planning on dropping by your place for lunch, probably stay for a Disney marathon, since I’m pretty sure Chris is still on that kick, maybe make some lego disasters...but yeah, I think I can manage dinner.”

Eddie stares. And Buck just grins. “You need to get your blood pressure checked, Eds. Pretty sure people aren’t supposed to go that pale that quickly.” And then he’s cackling at Eddie’s expense, and Eddie kind of wants to strangle him, even as he finds himself laughing right along with him after less than a breath.

“You are such a jerk. I should leave. Actually, yeah, no, for that, I’m leaving. You can enjoy your cold pizza alone, you jacka-” Eddie’s halfway off the couch - with the intention of getting a plate, because like hell he was actually leaving - when he feels a hand clamp around his wrist, and suddenly it’s very, very quiet, and Eddie’s not entirely sure why it feels like all the air’s been sucked out of his lungs as he looks at Buck’s suddenly very serious, very sincere face.

“Stay.” Buck says into the quiet - so soft and gentle it can’t help but shatter the stillness around them.

And Eddie wants to laugh it off. The mood switch is too much, too dramatic, too...everything and he wants to break it so it’ll snap back to normal.

Wants to. Can’t quite manage it.

“...I was just getting a plate.” Eddie tries, weakly. Knows it’s not enough as the quiet settles back in around them.

But, then, Buck’s smiling at him, and his grip is loosening, and Eddie can breathe again.

The quiet stays in place, but the air between them is bright and fizzy instead of still and hard and Eddie couldn’t explain it if he tried.

So, he doesn’t. Instead, he goes to get the plate, because he’s not sure he can look at that smile and not take everything at face value.

He doesn’t hear Buck come up behind him. But he’s kind of hard to miss when Eddie turns around and Buck’s right there. Eddie doesn’t jump, but it’s a close thing. One Buck definitely notices if the shine to his eyes and the quirk to his lips is anything to go by. But, points to him, he doesn’t actually say anything about it.

“...You know. I’ve had this...big speech, in my head, for the last like. Month. Never quite manage to get it right twice.” And Buck’s talking, but Eddie’s not quite understanding. “Always seemed too...showy, you know? Or stiff. Or practiced. But that?” Buck gestures vaguely back to the living room like Eddie’s supposed to know what that means, “That gave me an idea.” And then he’s leaning into Eddie’s space and Eddie...Eddie can’t say no to Buck. Can’t deny him space even if all he has to give is his own.

“Eddie, stay with me?” Buck asks into the bare space between them, so soft and gentle it can’t help but shatter Eddie on the spot as the question clicks into place.

Eddie thinks back. To staying still in the comfortable dark in the hope that neither of them were going to move, for just a moment longer. To knowing silence and willing comfort in familiar orbits. To the want straining his heart every time he so much as looks at Buck, in the hope that the look he’s seeing in the man’s eyes is a reflection rather than a delusion.

He doesn’t know who moves first, but the next thing he really knows is the feel of Buck’s lips against his own in a slow, languid kiss that doesn’t quite line up until it does and all Eddie can do is melt.

“Do you even have to ask?” Eddie’s heart is burning when they pull away, breathless in the quiet, his voice too loud and too quiet.

And oh, that first kiss has nothing on the second.

#hey-therejuliet #long post #911 fox #Eddie Diaz #Evan Buckley #buddie #my writing #ff #I'm still not super active at the moment but I got the energy to write and I really am sorry about how long this took!

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hilllsnholland · 5 years

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Tutor Girl

Pairing: Basketball Star!Tom x Tutor!Reader

Wc: 6.2k (YiKES)

Warnings: swearing, mentions of learning disability, depression, little angst but mostly fluff

Summary: You didn’t plan on tutoring your best friend’s brother, Tom. He was an ass, cocky and a player. The worst. Yet, you also didn’t plan on falling in love with him either.

A/N: This took longer than expected...oops but whatever. If you can’t tell this is very One Tree Hill inspired, but I take some creative liberties so I hope you enjoy this because this was my favorite thing to write e.v.e.r.

The sharp skirting around the gym floors was amplified by the thudding of feet. Bright and orange, the basketball was passed between players of Tree Hill high school. Their rival school, Northridge High, were ahead by two points. Harrison Osterfield, the forward, spun around trying to find his best friend in the crowd of people.

Tom Holland shined, quite literally and figuratively, as he dashed between players. He was covered in sweat, bright red as he tried to make eye contact with his teammate. The crowd was at the end of their seats. Only twenty-seconds on the clock, someone needed to make a basket to win the game. This was the final game of the season to see who would make it to state. Tom’s heartbeat against his chest so loud he could hear it in his ears. He pushed out the glaring look of disapproval from his father, the roaring sounds of the home fans screaming his name. Harrison dribbled the ball, throwing over to Tom who caught it between swiping hands.

“Holland has the ball!’ The announcer screams. “Ten seconds on the clock!”

Tom pivoted, the ball raised in the air and away from his opponents. What Tom lacked in height he gained in speed and agility. Tom took one step forward, throwing the ball from the three-point line, and listening to the silence fell over the crowd. His eyes should be on the ball and the basket, but he’s gone blank. The ball has left his hands, it’s not in his control anymore. His heartbeats as the timer hits down to the final seconds.

“Holland shoots and he-“

Tom opens the paper in his hands once again hoping it would say a different name. Praying that his dyslexia had somehow mixed the name up with hers. Tom looks into the tutoring center and sees her. Tutor Girl. He hated himself for even being in the room, but this was his future on the line. This was his dream. His father’s dream. All on the lines of a trigonometry midterm. Tom walks over to her, tapping her on the shoulder.

“Hi, how can- oh it’s you,” Y/N somewhat chuckles but squints at him. “Did you get lost on your way to the gym?”

“No, I need a tutor,” Tom says sheepishly.

“Well, I guess you had enough brains to find the tutoring center then,”

Y/N laughs and gathers her books that were stacked on the table. Tom shakes his head asking God what he had done to put himself in this situation. It was his brother’s best friend, the girl who hated him.

“Y/N, you were assigned to be my tutor,” Tom says lowly like he’s holding back vomit.

Y/N drops her books. She spins around and rips the piece of paper out of his hands and scans it. Her mouth drops open and she can not believe it. Y/N’s first thought was to tell him to go request another tutor. Complain and say it’s a conflict of interest due to their past history. Yet, something urged her.

“I know it’s not the best situation but-“

“No, this is…fine,” Y/N bites her thumbnail while scanning her mental calendar. “Can we meet up…in the morning? Before school, because you have basketball practice and I have work so it would just work out better. Right? Tomorrow we can start.”

Tom blinks. Is this real life? Did Y/N really agree to tutor him? Tom knew she was the smartest girl in this school, maybe even state, and she was giving up her precious time to help him? It was a bloody miracle.

“That’s perfect. Meet you at the Waterfront Cafe?” Tom cracks that signature smile.

“It’s a date,” Y/N says but instantly regrets it. “Study…date…but not a date,”

Y/N grimaces, picking up her things and trying to shuffle out of the room as fast as possible. Tom watches her, smiling to himself as she hurries out. For the first time, Y/N doesn’t seem like his brother’s best friend. She’s…different. Although they were the same age, he’d always seen her as a child. Innocent and a little quirky. But the way she said the word ‘date’, it made his heart skip. Tom shakes his head at himself, gotta keep his head in the game of course. No time for tutor girl romance.

“Not a date, got it,” Tom says to himself, still smiling.

Y/N’s head was buried into the lesson plan she had set out for Tom. Her eyes focused so hard over the review sheets, notes, and his past tests that she didn’t notice him sit down. Tom sat back, snacking on a protein bar, watching her. Her hair swooped over her eyes, curling around the frame of her face which made it harder to not whisk away and caress her cheek. Tom instantly felt nauseous though, he was not a mushy kind of guy and this newfound feeling for Y/N was not sitting well with him. Y/N inhaled sharply, the hair blowing up and hitting her in the face again.

“You know you could always get a headband,”

Y/N jumps, startled by his sudden appearance. Tom holds back a cocky laugh, taking the final bite of his bar and leaning back in his chair coolly.

“You scared the crap out of me,” Y/N holds her chest. “Who knew spending all your time in the gym made you some sort of ninja,”

Tom didn’t want to laugh but he did.

“If you say ninja one more time I’ll leave, Tutor girl”

“It’s a deal,”

Y/N extended her hand to him but instead of a handshake, she dropped a pencil down in front of him. Tom rolled his eyes, accepting the pencil and the practice book she had laid out for him. Y/N goes straight to work, naming off different equations and mapping out how to do each problem. Tom followed her as much as possible, his mind wandering off from time to time though. Mainly about basketball, sometimes about food, but then it also landed on her lips.

It was crazy, fucking mad that he was staring at her lips. How full, pink, and kissable they looked. She didn’t even wear makeup, probably not even chapstick, but they looked like perfection. Tom felt his heart pump harder, stupid fucking hormones, he thought. But he was entranced by her.

“So then you carry that over…Tom carry the…carry…what are you doing?” Her voice breaks the glass of his concentration and he snaps to look her in the eyes.

“I’m just trying to understand your nerd jargon.” Tom shrugs it off and continues the problem. “No wonder you’re friends with Sam,”

He heard the snap of a pencil and looked to see Y/N was about to burst. Tom didn’t know she was so sensitive about her brother. They had only been friends, but now her reaction was making him wonder. Were they…a thing? Was Tom so blind he didn’t know? This caused…jealousy? No, never, Tom could never be jealous of Sam.

“Maybe I’m friends with Sam because he actually has a brain between his ears,” She snarled. “You really don’t see it huh? See how you treat Sam and how it affects him? You don’t know how many nights…”

Y/N bites her lip as if she’s said too much. Sam was a sensitive topic for her, as she protected him as if he was her brother. Listening to all his griefs and problems, she had become his ultimate confidant. But, she was not supposed to tell Sam’s secrets, especially to his pompous brother. The brother that tormented him blindly. Tom probably wouldn’t understand the kind of pressure Sam was under, the only thing he understood was basketball and cheerleaders.

“I’m affecting Sam?” Tom laughs and shakes his head. “By what? Trying to get him to join the basketball team? Trying to take him out to parties so he’s not cooped up in his room with…you of all people,”

It was Y/N’s turn to laugh. She slammed her book shut, shaking her head while curses spill out of her mouth. She should have known this would have been a bad idea. It was the worst idea ever. Y/N shuffled her things into her bag, upset that she wasted her time on him. Tom was fuming though, torn between needing to pass his midterm and not wanting his pride to wash away.

“You’re really this stupid huh?” Y/N snaps. “Sam is fucking depressed Tom. The pressure you and your dad put on him, it’s insane. He doesn’t want to be popular. He doesn’t want to be on the basketball team. He just….he just wants to be accepted.”

Tom freezes at the sight of tears falling from her eyes. This was not what he planned to happen. Guilt ate away at him. Fuck, maybe he was an idiot.

“We accept him,” Tom says in a hushed tone.

“He’s in your shadow, Tom. He hides behind you and Harry, wishing he could be like you guys. He’s the outcast while his ‘perfect’ brother takes the stage-“

“I’m not perfect!”

Tom yells and the whole Waterfront Cafe is staring at them. Usually, Y/N would be petrified to have so many eyes on her, but her emotions were overworking her and she was stunned by his outburst.

“If I was perfect I wouldn’t be failing Trig and English! If I was perfect I wouldn’t be struggling so hard. If I was perfect I wouldn’t have…”

Dyslexia was what he wanted to say. He mouthed the words, acknowledging how many people were staring at them. Tom slouched in his seat, embarrassed by the scene. His father would hear about this, lecturing him about his image in town. Gossip spreads fast and if he wanted to be accepted into Kansas State and be on the Wildcats, he couldn’t let anything smear his reputation.

Y/N watched him huddle into a ball like a child. He was ashamed, embarrassed, but most of all vulnerable. She had never seen him like this, frightened of the truth being yelled out. Y/N should have known, all the signs were there. With an audible sigh, Y/N drops her things back on the table and takes her seat again.

“Y/N, what are-“

“Carry the fucking five or I’ll leave again,” She looks up and smiles.

It was that genuine smile, the one you couldn’t resist because it’s perfect and everything you could want. Tom felt his insides turn, fuck that smile made him feel so weird. He didn’t fall so hard for girls, but Y/N was something special. Tom sat up and grabbed his pencil again.

“It’s a deal,”

Y/N sat idly, watching her student fix his mistakes on his recent English report. It was boring work, but she was proud of him. It was the kind of pride you get when your child gets a good grade on a test. It was encouraging to know she gave someone the fundamentals to gain success. Unless it was Tom, which was a bittersweet victory.

Her eyes went to the clock for what was the thousandth time that free period. Tom would be coming by after his midterm to show her his score. Y/N was a mess. She always was on big test days for her students, but this was eating at her. Tom’s ability to play in the last game this Friday depended on her. After weeks of studying, she had hoped it paid off.

Well, it wasn’t all studying. Sometimes they got food or talked about life a little. It was strange, but not bad. Tom had more depth than she first thought. He wasn’t all about basketball. He loved old movies and comic books. Things Y/N wouldn’t suspect at first.

“Hey,” A voice says behind her.

Y/N turns, expecting Tom to be standing there, either in glee or disarray, but it’s not. It’s Sam, smiling and taking a chair right next to her. Usually, the sight of Sam would make her so happy, but she felt…let down? Was she really that excited to see Tom? It could possibly be the nerves of wanting to know what he got wrong and right. But Sam sitting next to her, going on about getting tickets to a concert this weekend, it didn’t give her the same joy as usual.

“Do you want to go? I know you’re super busy ...Earth to Y/N? Did my brother really suck out all your brainpower?”

“Huh?”

Sam laughed, pulling out concert tickets from his pocket and showing it off to her.

“Oh, yes I would love too!” Y/N looked over to her student who was paying no mind to them. “Uh, so you sure you’re okay with me spending so much time with your brother?”

Sam looks to her as if she was speaking a different language. Y/N wanted to make sure though, since they had some deep-rooted rivalry and all. Maybe it was also a way of subliminally telling Sam that she was having confusing feelings about Tom. But Sam shrugged.

“I don’t care,” He snorts. “I feel sorry for you though. I bet all he talks about is-“

“Basketball? Not really.” Sam squints at Y/N. “He talks about his favorite movies and books. We talk about social issues. He even talks about you, saying that he wished you’d make dinner more often because your cooking beats Nikki’s,”

Sam doesn’t respond. He looks to Y/N and then looks down at the table. She can’t read his emotions either, his eyes are glued to his phone as he searches something on Instagram. Usual Sam, pushing all feelings aside. Locking himself inside of his head and refusing to let anyone in. Y/N sighs, wanting to comfort him but then a shadow flashed by her. Suddenly she’s picked out of the chair and lifted into a bone-crushing hug.

“We did it!” Tom exclaims, his test paper falls to the table with a bright red ‘A’ on it. “Tutor Girl, we fucking did it!”

“What?” Y/N scrapes up the paper and is stunned.

He fucking did it. What Y/N thought was a lost cause was actually her greatest victory.

“Did you cheat?” Tom looked at her, bewildered.

“No!”

Y/N almost burst into tears, jumping into Tom’s arms and hugging him. Sam was put off to the side, again. It was a common theme, but now Sam was being outcasted by his own best friend. Y/N and Tom didn’t seem to notice, basking in each other’s happiness.

“We need to celebrate,” Y/N cheered.

“Yeah, want to go do something tonight? Practice ends at six,” Tom sees his brother slouching in the chair, eyes glued to his phone. “Sam, you want to come?”

Both Sam and Y/N were taken aback by Tom’s offer. It was exactly what Y/N wanted though. She wanted Tom to finally accept Sam, insert him into his life more and stop taking the piss out of him. It might be a fever dream, but there Tom was, acting like a better brother.

“I’m good,” Sam stands up and shrugs.

“Sam, please-“

“No, you guys have fun. I’ll see you tomorrow,”

Sam looked at Y/N coldly as he walked away. Guilt overcame her, she didn’t think Sam would react so poorly to his brother’s encouragement. Tom, however, didn’t seem to mind his brother’s behavior. Shrugging it off and looking over to Y/N with that boyish grin.

“So, celebration? Ice cream and a movie?”

Y/N felt excited. She felt the most amount of joy in her life as Tom was talking, but at what cost? The way Sam looked at her, betrayed and isolated. That’s the last thing she wants to do. Yet, looking at Tom, it didn’t seem as bad. It was one of those lose-lose situations, no matter what Y/N did, someone was going to get hurt.

“Tom, I…”

They met each other’s stare, and god how could you say no to that face? He was beaming, eyes glittery from excitement that made her heart skip a beat.

“I can’t wait,”

The words came out awkwardly, there was true happiness behind them but guilt poisoned her tongue. Tom didn’t seem to notice, giving her one last hug and walking towards the door, saying a thousand ‘thank you’s’ as he left.

“I’ll pick you up after practice!” He walked halfway out the door but peaked back in. “Hope you don’t mind if I’m a little sweaty,”

He winked. Tom Holland winked at her and she nearly lost her mind. If Tom had done that weeks prior, she would’ve thrown up in her mouth. Maybe the floor, maybe on his shoes. But today? She was filled with unusual bubbles that made her turn pink and smile. Tom left, leaving Y/N with her student, who was still oblivious to everything that was happening. Leaving Y/N to think what Tom would look like after practice

___

Godly. That is how Tom looked after practice. Y/N had imagined what he would be coming to her house looking like, but she never expected him to look so…so…so hot? It was sickening, but she couldn’t help it. Tom arrived at her house, knocking on the door instead of texting her, in basketball shorts and a cut off shirt. His hair was damp from taking a shower after practice, but his skin glowed. His muscles flexing every time he turned the wheel of the car. It was one of those moments where Y/N didn’t know how she ended up here, but she thanked God for it.

“So, hit up ice cream and then go see a movie?” Tom looked to her for a brief second then back at the road.

“Ice cream sounds amazing but,”

Y/N panicked at the thought of sitting in a dark room, so close to Tom. Hands maybe touching to grab the popcorn, or getting lost in the moment and he may put his arm around her. ‘Shit, thinking too far ahead,’ Y/N thought. Under no circumstances could she sit in a romantic atmosphere with him. Not today.

“How about you take me to your favorite spot?” Y/N tilts her head slightly to give off an innocent look. “Somewhere, hopefully not private,”

The last part was mumbled under her breath but Tom somewhat caught it. He dryly laughed, pulling into the parking lot of Coldstone, and shifted himself to her.

“I have a place, but I’m not sure you can handle it,”

“Bring it baby,” Y/N turned red while Tom laughed. “Not baby…I mean…bud…buddy.”

Tom hid his smirk as he got out of the car. Y/N glowed red, walking behind him, almost hiding behind his tall frame. Tom watched her as she scanned the glass, just so in control. It was hard to put words to it, but she was so natural. Walking so easily, finger a centimeter from the glass as she looked for the one she wanted. It was such a domestic moment, Y/N picked out two scoops of her favorite flavor while Tom got chocolate ice cream and paid. But, Tom was smitten. It was sickening how much he had grown to like her. It was so out of character, Tom was drawn away from most girls. Only going out for once if the girl had interested him. But what Y/N did for him was crazy. He even opened the door for her as they entered the car.

Y/N was on the verge of exploding. She stuffed her mouth with ice cream to make sure nothing stupid spilled from her mouth. If she was in the classroom, or tutor room, she would excel. Y/N could do math in her sleep. Write essays in an hour. Memorize the periodic table or physics equations with ease. Yet, sitting in the car with Tom Holland was the biggest challenge she’s faced yet.

“So, where are you taking me?” She looked to him nervously. “You’re not going to murder me right,”

Tom laughed.

“No, not today,”

He turns right into the lonely parking lot and Y/N can finally see where they were. It was the River Court, the basketball court right by the river, the one Sam always brought her to when they were kids. The only reason why they stopped going was because Tom had taken it over with their father, using it as Tom’s ‘special training court’. Y/N remembered that day clearly, Sam was almost in tears as their father sent them somewhere else. ‘If you’re gonna sit around and color, go home’. Dom had said. He wasn’t a monster. But there was a clear line of how he treated his sons versus Sam.

“I haven’t been here in years,” Y/N exhaled sharply as she walked slowly through the wet grass.

Tom walked next to her, holding a basketball in his hands. How typical.

“Do you ever get a break?” She mused and Tom shrugged.

“It keeps my mind busy,”

They took a seat on the rusty half-bleachers while finishing their ice cream in silence. Y/N had zoned her attention on the water, how it glistened against the setting sun and the boats going by. Tom, however, was focused on Y/N. It was the same sense of natural, how she looked so perfect without trying.

“I’m really proud of you,” She says absent-mindedly. “You were able to conquer your dyslexia, and you did it. It’s amazing,”

Tom felt giddy, like a child waking up to go to Disneyland. He had heard praise all his life, but hearing them slip from her lips was the greatest accomplishment of all.

“Couldn’t do it without you, Tutor Girl,” His hand touches the small of her back lightly. “You didn’t make fun of me when I spelled things wrong or got confused. You are really…amazing,”

For a quick moment he saw her get a twinkle in her eyes. She tried to not show the overflowing glee that came over her with that compliment. He was too good at winning hearts, just that boyish grin was enough to make her turn into mush. Tom felt the same though, he little glances at him made everything stop. How could this girl make him go insane but just being herself? It was insane.

“Will you go to my game on Friday?”

“Huh?”

“The big game. I want you to be there,” Tom watches Y/N snapped her attention away and quirk an eyebrow at him.

“I…well why? I’m just…Tutor Girl?”

Tom crumpled up the tissues in his hand while trying to find the words to say. He wanted to say, ‘please, I think I’m in love with you and if you don’t come I will die a slow, pitiful death’. But he didn’t. He faked a confident smirk.

“Exactly, you’re my good luck charm,”

Y/N cheeks become pink as she dives her head lower into the collar of her sweatshirt. ‘Fuck that smirk’ she thought. His words were so tactile, she could tell he was thinking through every word. Was he trying to play her like that? Or did he really mean it?

“Maybe,”

“I’d love it if you brought Sam too,” Tom looked from the River Court back to Y/N. “He’s been pushing me away more. I tried today, you saw that. He’s my brother but I feel like we’re…strangers, you know?”

That was the perfect word. Over the years, Sam and Tom had become nothing but roommates in the same house. Neither could tell you a single fact about the other. Besides, Tom liked basketball and Sam liked cooking and art. It was complicated at best.

“Trust me, I know. Sam will come around though.” She meets his soft eyes in a dreamy trance. “He loves you, promise. I know him better than he knows himself.”

There was no doubt in Tom’s mind that she was telling the truth. She was honest, true natured and he knew she was trying to help. It would be naive to think she didn’t agree to tutor him without ulterior motives. Y/N always brought Sam up, encouraging Tom to get closer with him. He didn’t mind it though, it was about time things changed.

“Are you and Sam…like a thing?”

Y/N knees faced towards him as she shifted her body. It was out of surprise, did she give off that vibe that she liked Sam? It was actually revolting though. More so than the thought of being with Tom a few weeks ago. It was like dating her brother.

“No, never,” She laughed while Tom sighed in relief. “We would never. He’s like a brother to me,”

“Same,”

Y/N laughed at Tom’s word vomit. He was breaking apart from nerves, her leg slightly touching his and how close she was. Tom had been with plenty of girls, either at parties or after games, but he had never been nervous. Especially with something so innocent as sitting on a bench with his brother’s best friend.

“I mean,” Tom panicked, dropping the basketball to the ground.

“What do you mean?” Y/N leaned forward a little further, placing her ice cream cup out of the way. “Why do you care if I’m dating Sam?”

It was a challenge, for both Tom and herself. She wanted to see how far this would go. The playful banter and longing touches were not enough. Y/N may be Tutor Girl, but she had to take her chance. Leaning further, her hand rested on his and he jumped slightly. Tom reanalyzed her body language over and over again, making sure this wasn’t some amazing dream. Nope, Y/N was surely flirting with him, biting her lip at him and blinking slowly. So, so irresistible. Tom placed a hand on her face and took a leap.

“So I can do this,”

His lips melted into hers into the most perfect, imperfect first kiss either of them had ever experienced. Their noses knocked into each other and their hands awkwardly tried to find a comfortable place to land. Even with that though, it was like magic. It was the best rush of euphoria Tom had ever had. Better than winning any game or party. For Y/N, better than any academic award or scholarship. It was a mess of teenage awkwardness, but beautiful all the same.

Y/N pulled away first, hands locked on Tom’s shoulders as she held him still. Her mind raced with words, thoughts that she could not fathom. Mainly fear. It all clicked too fast, the River Court, kissing Tom, and how Sam would react. It didn’t feel wrong, but guilt consumed her. This was exactly why she didn’t want the romantic atmosphere, to be alone with him. She knew she would do this, kiss him, fall harder for him, and then break down.

“That…that…I…but,” Tutor Girl was a lost for words. “Tom, I don’t know what to do,”

Tom had never heard her voice so small. She was confident, always, no matter what. Even if she was considered ‘nerdy’, she was a bombshell of beauty and brains. Right now, she was puddy.

“I like you a lot,” He stuttered on his words. “I don’t know why I haven’t seen it before, but you are perfect. I can’t stop myself from falling for you. I’m going off, but fuck I really like you Y/N,”

It was as if the whole world stopped. Birds stopped chirping, the basketball stopped rolling, and for a second it was just them. Y/N tightened her hands into balls as her whole body tensed. She felt dirty, as if she was hiding behind her best friend’s back. She kissed the enemy. But she liked Tom. Oh Lord, she loved every part of him now. What she thought was annoying about him was now her favorite things. His stupid luscious curls, devious smile, and even the way he said her name drove her wild. This was her hardest test yet, wanting to run away but also be with him.

“I...can’t,” Her words came out in choked segments as she looked to the ground. “No, Tom this is...bad. I’m Y/N, Tutor Girl, your brother’s best friend. I am nothing. We are not even on the same planet Tom. This can’t...we can’t…”

She didn’t believe the words she was saying. Every forced ‘no’ cut her up inside. The way Tom winced every time she spoke killed her. It felt like both of them had ripped out their hearts on stomped on them. Tom stood up and paced.

“Why? This isn’t some status quo bullshit Y/N!” His hands moved erratically as he got angrier. “If you don’t like me, say it. Don’t give me an excuse,”

“Tom, I do like you-”

“So, the only thing stopping you is what? I play basketball and you’re friends with my brother? Doesn’t make sense?”

It didn’t make sense. Of course it didn’t but Y/N couldn’t give a straight answer. Everything was telling her yes, go be with Tom. Yet, Sam kept crossing her mind. How disappointed and hurt he would be. Y/N couldn't do that, she had to put her best friend over Tom.

“That’s exactly it. It’s Sam okay? I wouldn’t have a good conscience if we dated. You hurt him, Tom. I need to stick by my best friend.”

Tom stood straight up, his shoulders falling back and his eyes locked on hers. His eyes were dark, misted in hurt. He didn’t bat an eye, grabbing his keys from his pocket and throwing them into her lap.

“Take my car and go home,”

“But what about-”

“I’m going to clear my head. Just...go,”

Tom’s voice was weirdly calm. Although he looked broken, eyes watering and his body starting to shake from keeping his emotions pent up, he was standing stoically. Y/N did not fight it, she took his keys and left. As she pulled out of the empty parking lot, watching Tom start to dribble and shoot around the River Court, she cried. Tears burned and her throat closed, it was too painful.

He didn’t dare look back at his car driving away. Streams of tears painted his face as he concentrated on shooting free throws. It was one of the few times he left his guard down, never again though. Tom had never experienced real heartbreak like this. He had never felt anything that was a fraction of this pain. Tom watched the ball hit the backboard and spring away. The noise drowned out a choked sob as he slunk to the floor and pitied himself for a while.

A pillow was knocked into Y/N’s face as she laid on her best friend’s bed. Sam slapped her again with it, jumping up and shaking her around. Friday night, the night she always hung out with Sam had turned into a shitshow. Y/N was too sad to care about anything so she sat in silence for almost two hours.

“Y/N, what the hell is your problem?”

Her heart was shattered, that was the problem, and it was all her fault. She could have had a happy ending, with the beautiful boy who was a star athlete and all the other girls were jealous. But no, here she was laying in Sam’s bed trying not to cry at the family pictures on the bedside table.

“Nothing-”

“Y/N, I know something happened,” Sam crossed his arms and sighed. “That day after Tom passed his test, you two were supposed to hang out. Tom came home at two in the morning. He looked like shit, and not the sexy disheveled bullshit he goes for.”

Y/N sucks her lips in and tries to not picture it. Tries to not picture Tom, red-eyed and exhausted from playing himself to death and sobbing. Tries to not picture Tom falling into his mattress, crying some more and wondering if he should call her. Because that’s what she did. Played music to the highest volume while staring at her phone. It killed it, even days later it killed her.

“Tom hasn’t been himself. Won’t talk to anyone, not even Dad. And you? You brought Tom’s car to the house and just...left? Without a word. You’ve been ignoring my calls and the tutoring center. What the hell happened?”

It snapped. The final rope holding her together broke as Y/N fell into a mess of sobbing, clinging to Sam’s shirt as wails left her shaking body. She thought she had gotten them out the first night, but it was consuming her. The disgusting girlish sadness she couldn’t escape. She vowed to never cry over a boy, but she did.

“We...kissed…” She cried. “He said he liked me ...and I like him too…”

Sam deciphered her cries into fragmented statements and stared at her wide-eyed. For a second, she thought he had short-circuited. He squinted at her, eyebrows furrowed together, lips flattened, and his hands are thrown up in the air.

“And?” Sam waved her on to continue.

“And...what?” She sniffled. “I couldn’t go through with it. It would be wrong-”

“Are you fucking kidding me?”

Sam stood up and marched into his closet, pulling out a sweatshirt and mumbling something to himself.

“Sam-”

“Listen Y/N,” He points a finger at her and exhales loudly. “You are my best friend who I confided everything in. You know how I feel about Tom, so I appreciate you caring, but fuck it was obvious that you two were into each other-”

“Wait-”

“Sh!” Sam waved his hands again. “You never stopped talking about Tom, and he was always asking about you. And he was asking me about cooking and art and...life? I was just surprised, waiting for it to blow over once he passed his test. But, he likes you Y/N. A lot. Don’t fuck this up for my sake, because I want you two to be together.”

Y/N was in awe, frozen on the bed as Sam grabbed keys from the dresser and stopped down the hall. It wasn’t until he returned, Tom’s varsity jacket in hand, that she knew what he was planning to do. A large ball stuck in her throat as Sam grabbed her arm and hoisted her to her feet.

“Sam-”

“Not now Y/N, we got a game to get to,”

“Holland shoots...and he”

Tom’s eyes weren’t even on the ball. It wasn’t on the court, his teammates, or even Coach Whitey. It was on Y/N. She was standing behind the bleachers with Sam, wearing his varsity jacket, cheering and in awe of him. How long had she been there? It didn’t matter. The screech of the buzzer went off and it all went into a haze of screams.

“Scores! Holland for the win! Tree Hill Ravens are going to State!”

The basketball team rushed Tom, jumping on him and hugging him, but he pushed them all away. The crowd was cheering, confetti and ear-bleeding music played from the speakers, but he couldn’t even feel it. Tom only had eyes on Y/N as rushed to the bleachers. His father stepped in front of him to give him a hug, but even he dodged that, rushing to the girl of his dreams and picking her up.

“T-Tom, I-”

Y/N was whisked away in a circle, cut off by a kiss that could only be matched by movies. It was a blur of adrenaline and passion, his arms situated tightly on her waist as he kept her balanced while her hands tousled his sweaty curls. Although he smelled like sweat and gym floor, she wouldn’t have it any other way.

Sam looked away from the two, somewhat sickened by the affection, and caught his father’s eye. They looked at each other for a moment, Dom smiling and waving his son over to the door. Sam rushed over, his father throwing his arm over his shoulder as they walked out and talked about the game together.

“Y/N, I can’t-” Tom said against her lips.

“Tom,” She pushed back like she did at the River Court, this time lovingly looking into his eyes. “I like you too. No ‘ifs, ands, or buts’, I like you so much it hurts. I’m sorry for freaking at the River Court. I’m smart with math, stupid at love-”

“Nice Mean Girls reference,”

“Asshole, you’re ruining my proclamation of love,”

Y/N hits him playfully and he kisses her again. Quickly, more flirtatious as he pulls her against him tightly. As if to make sure she wasn’t going anywhere.

“Like I was saying, I’m not good at this whole relationship thing, but I like you a lot and I want to be with you. If that’s still on the table.”

Tom rolls his eyes, gently placing her back on the ground but keeping his hands placed on her hips. Damn, she looked so good in his varsity jacket, a sight he’d get to see more of.

“Always, Tutor Girl.”

“That’s Tutor Girlfriend to you, buddy,”

Y/N smirked, taking one of his hands and pulling him to follow her out of the gym. It was completely empty now, except for a few janitors, and his family was probably waiting for them. Tom watched her lead him to the outside, smiling like the biggest fool in love. It was again, the natural way she was that made him feel like this. Everything was perfect about her, the confidence, brain, and the way she found herself into his life. It was like one of those fairytales, the one where the basketball star falls in love with the tutor girl, and he wouldn’t have it any other way.

///

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