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levmada · 5 months

Note

PLEASE write about Levi’s mental state, i’m begging you

He’s faced death and precarious situations since he was born, yet he’s still standing strong and hopeful, WHAT THE HELL I LOVE MY SHORT KING

IT'S FINALLY HERE😭im sorry anon i hope you're around to see this and if u are i hope i dont disappoint

the tone in this analysis is so weird because i kept getting caught between 'this is an apa paper no contractions, academic language, double spacing -' and 'this is a tumblr post about a fictional blorbo wtf r u on'

i also use some scientific language i try my best to explain but if this turns anyone off i don't blame them because im unhealthily obsessed

*i'm a third-year undergraduate psychology student w/ a concentration in psychopathology

tw/cw: discussion of childhood exposure to sex (not assault)

Foreword

I’ve been putting this off for a while (I’m forgetful and this topic is intimidating what can I say), but being a year out from graduating with my bachelor’s to become a mental health professional, and being a Levi scholar(/hj), I wanted to give this a shot.

I wanted to dissect and examine Levi Ackerman’s mental health “currently” (as in general canon), and explain as thoroughly but as simply as possible how and why he thinks and acts the way he does.

Seeing how AOT is pretty renowned for leaving out the ‘insignificant’ details, especially character details, a good majority of my assertions and even details of his life are built off of correlations and “signs and symptoms”; meaning some things could be an aspect of Levi’s personality, or a symptom of psychopathology.

I will examine his childhood (especially his childhood), adolescence, young adulthood, and “present” adulthood, with a short summary at the end of where he might be mentally after the war.

*Lastly, I don’t like it when things I say about a series or character are taken as fact or make it implied that someone else’s thoughts are “wrong”. This is partly built on headcanons anyway, which are influenced by my own experiences. Don’t take away from this that this is me telling you what to think.*

Childhood

The most important period of development occurs in infancy and childhood, especially from the ages of 3-6. This is when a child learns where to find security, love, and basic skills, gaining stability as they develop.

Well, Kuchel died when Levi was 4.

Maternal Love / Learning Empathy / Anxious Attachment Style

Levi was born into deep poverty within a violent unwelcoming environment. Basic physical needs must have been very hard to meet (i.e., consistently fed enough, a clean environment, no physical threats). And where Levi was born is like the dictionary definition of a bad environment for a small child, excluding only his mother’s care and love.

As it’s generally understood in canon (and suggested from Levi’s special backstory manga so far) she was a caring parental figure early in Levi’s life that loved him unconditionally. We can conclude that Kuchel did everything within her power to compensate for both parenting Levi alone and shielding him the best she could from his horrible surroundings, teaching the kindness, goodness, and love that Levi would internalize and go on to strive for for his entire life.

As far as we know, no other children lived in the brothel. Socialization is just as important for a young child as receiving love. With this isolation, it’s extremely difficult to learn how to connect to other people, or pick up on social cues. Levi would’ve never learned how to interact properly with his peers—aside from use of aggression and violence which Kenny would go on to instill in him.

With the danger/anxiety imposed by strangers, mostly if not entirely men, he would turn to his mother for comfort all. The. Time.

And she would give him that support and affection of course. This early motherly affection is integral to child development: a child who receives empathy and affection is subliminally taught how to feel and express empathy towards others.

While Levi’s surroundings were dangerous, lonely, and chaotic—traumatizing enough for a toddler or young child—Kuchel provided a safety net from that, so I think that Levi developed an anxious attachment as a child: exhibiting clinginess, excessive fear of abandonment, and an excessive need for security and/or reassurance.

Paternal Trauma / Potential Androphobia

Born and living in a brothel, we can assume that Levi was probably seen as a burden and a mistake by others, especially by men (both the likely majority of her customers and her boss).

AOT ch69; Before the Fall, ch34

This is likely in contrast to the women (those living and working in the brothel like Kuchel). They should know Kuchel if not as friends, then acquaintances who could empathize for her and her son.

There’s an obvious trend here. If Levi is going to feel fear/danger/anxiety because of men, he should have a general aversion to men and-or the behavior of men who he encountered as a child. This is impossible to know for sure or in meaningful detail, but it seemed to be resolved by the time he became an adult if so.

Although Kenny in his words was no more than Levi's teacher, Levi did see him as a father figure.

The subject of Kenny will be expanded on later, but it's clear Kenny in no way resembled a father, who also would go on to abandon Levi (at the age of 11 or so). Children without father figures tend to struggle more emotionally, psychologically, and socially. Specifically, (especially boys) tend to exhibit intimidating/aggressive personas to compensate for resentment, fear, and unhappiness.

Sexual Trauma (Tangent, Probably)

This is unconfirmed but a likely trauma Levi went through: exposure to sex as a child. There’s no way to confirm what he experienced, so I’ll function on ‘probably’s’ and ‘most likely’s’.

Because Levi and Kuchel only lived in one room, other rooms in the brothel should have belonged to other women, and he was at the oldest four, I wager that he was babysat by women who Kuchel knew and/or was made to hide somewhere while she worked, such as in a cabinet.

(for reference)

AOT ch69

The odds are high that he was exposed to the aftermath of sexual violence (i.e., marks seen on his mother), and the sound or smells that have to do with it. That young, he wouldn’t know what it was, but he should have realized later as an adolescent.

In general, children regardless of gender exposed to sexual content usually experience early puberty (which is just as likely for impoverished children, or children who experience chronic high-stress in general); issues with intimacy; become desensitized to high-risk behavior; negative/inaccurate expectations about sex and relationships in the future; influence inappropriate behavior with other children or adults; sex addiction.

This is especially relevant to Levi’s fear of closeness/intimacy in the future. Exposure to sexual situations—possibly not including CSA in his case—very early in life inflicts on a child emotions and stress they don’t have the intellect or reasoning to process or understand. An extreme aversion to interpersonal relationships, especially physical ones, results.

This stress Levi must have felt, being powerless to this happening to his mother, is a different beast. Children aren’t capable of handling high levels of stress, and so the brain will automatically create coping mechanisms: dissociation (a severe form of “zoning out”; observing the self “from the third person”; numbness; the feeling of living in a dream), excessive daydreaming/overactive imagination, symptoms of PTSD (nightmares and terrors; flashbacks; spontaneous activation of fight-flight-freeze associated with anxiety; excessive worrying/fear; loneliness/self isolation). PTSD will also be prevalent in Levi’s later life, which I’ll delve into later.

Inappropriate behavior and sex addiction are also highlights for me because they shouldn’t exist in him based on Levi's personality and behavior throughout the series. In my opinion, Levi ought to associate sex with pain, shame, and violence; he does see it as an ordinary job—a means to an end. He should be desensitized to sex as a concept, but associates it personally with shame, sadness, and pain, possibly feeling disgust towards it. So it is highly likely that Levi in every stage of life following this experienced sexual repulsion (usually associated with high anxiety towards sex), a low libido, or a lack of sexual desire entirely.

From a trauma perspective, he could avoid sexual topics of conversation, sexual settings (i.e., brothels), or an array of things which are sexually suggestive or he as a child possibly associated with sex (i.e., cleavage, panties, specific touch). Similarly, he might avoid direct reminders or have a post-traumatic reaction to them, such as anxiety or flashbacks (i.e., the sound of a bed creaking, the sight of wet clothes).

Importantly, it can be concluded that sexual violence was often exhibited, and the idea would be ingrained in him that sex, like everything else besides his relationship with his mother, is “give-and-take”, “victim-and-attacker”, and learn to be repulsed by intimacy. This impacts his willingness for later friendships and relationships as we’ll see later.

Early Abandonment & Early Exposure to Death

As Kuchel’s health deteriorated, Levi’s sense of security would break down. Availability of shelter, food, and emotional support would be even less secure than before. He might have been providing for Kuchel for some time, even, as it can be gathered that he received little to no help from those around him while she was sick. To whatever length he had to take responsibility and both fear for Kuchel, this would cement a sense of responsibility and guilt in him from the age of just four years old.

He will fail to save her—regardless of the fact that that’s not his responsibility in the first place; a child wouldn’t understand that—and then lose her with nothing he could do to even cushion the blow.

How powerless he must’ve felt. How hopeless. How likely is it that Levi found comfort in joining her? A child his age wouldn’t be able to comprehend death, basing our understanding on Piaget’s theory of cognitive development. To summarize, at the age of six or seven, children aren’t capable of complex, abstract thought like death or the finality of it. But Levi had to learn early.

AOT ch69

This will be center in his “clean-freak” tendencies later.

Adolescence

Most of this section is going to be rather vague again, but we already got the bulk of that over with in childhood!

Emotional Train Wreck / Lack of Identity

It’s hard to notice if you’re not paying attention, but in every scene we’re shown with Levi after his mother dies but before Kenny leaves, he’s wearing some variation of his mother’s one dress styled into a shirt. He loves her endlessly, even or especially in death. And part of cherishing her memory, to him, should’ve been taking after her as much as he could.

That’s how to explain why he didn’t become a cruel person (Kenny for instance) as he grew into a teenager, even though much of Levi’s outlook and behaviors come from him (ch57).

The more pertinent question is how extreme violence, reinforcement of the idea that that violence is power, and Kenny’s total (or most likely total) lack of communicated emotional connection affected him.

Levi would still desperately want that connection deep down, especially with his mother gone. This is a major reason why Levi sought to get stronger to please Kenny. For chronically abandoned people, that continues into adulthood and even beyond. A hole inside which can't be filled.

AOT ch69

Chronic loneliness—like I explained before—basically explains his aloof nature and awkward disposition. It’s not that Levi feels as detached as he looks, but he doesn’t know how to express himself or open up. He wouldn’t learn how to process his emotions, let alone talk about them. He’s basically emotionally stunted and immature in impersonal relationships (between friends and especially in regards to intimacy).

The Underground’s environment also makes him socially awkward, rude, of course stoic/not very expressive, and blunt. Levi was forced to become extremely observant of people to suss out their intentions, remaining vigilant of his surroundings at all times.

Levi doesn’t even get affection in any sense anymore. He doesn’t get a hug or a pat on the back, and he certainly doesn’t get a shoulder to cry on.

If anything, Kenny would punish him for showing weakness. Vulnerability is weakness; weakness is death.

What results is a continuous and boundless sense of emptiness inside that can’t be filled. He’s plagued by a chronic sense of unbelonging and loneliness. There’s no time or opportunity to develop “normally” as an adolescent. Socialization is limited at best; thinking of his place in the world is irrelevant when his one and only most pressing goal is survival; he doesn’t get to explore hobbies or interests.

OCD Propensity

One “interest” Levi is passionate about is cleaning, at least. Disease is what caused his mother to die. The easiest cause to point to would be their disgusting surroundings (although, Kuchel was infected by a customer). It is canon that Levi’s love of cleaning comes from "his personal experiences". In that interview, Levi first specifically references the important of fighting disease.

In other words, his "clean freak" nature comes, primarily, from the death of his mother: Filth -> disease -> death, and abandonment by extension.

His mother would’ve encouraged him to keep their room clean. There were times he or she had to have come down with something and dirtiness was the cause. On top of Kenny’s enforcement to keep up “clean” appearances to garner respect from everyone else in the Underground.

This in particular is extremely relevant to his mental health. When someone feels out of control of what is happening to them, especially in a recurring way, and especially as a child who doesn't yet know how to feel stable in an unstable environment, they look for something to control. It can be weight, bodily functions (blinking, breathing, etc), dominance over others, or cleaning, for instance.

Fear of disease, the urgent need to have control, and the basic need for stability makes it obvious that Levi would become obsessed with cleaning. And moreover, developing OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder). I’ll go deeper into this diagnosis later.

Lack of Self Worth

Despite the acknowledgment throughout canon that he trusts in his own strength, it wasn’t always that way.

Canonically, Levi sought praise from Kenny by showing his strength because that was the only thing he received praise for. The conclusion Levi came to once Kenny left him was that he wasn’t strong enough (wasn’t good enough) to warrant staying with him.

In conjunction, Levi’s first conclusion was that he did something wrong, not that Kenny possibly had some obligation that forced him to leave the Underground, pointing again to his own lack of self-worth.

This scenario created a complex in him, the very root cause of Levi’s pain, the very foundation of what Levi would go on to prioritize in adulthood. If he isn’t useful to those he wants not to abandon him, he’s worthless. He’s only useful when he shows his strength. Every other aspect of him like his interests is either irrelevant or bland by default in his eyes.

He would go on to make it his mission to try his best to be good enough in order to save and protect the lives of others, but foremost those he cares about.

Young Adulthood

Our first exposure to Levi as an adult is in A Choice with No Regrets, his OVA/backstory.

(By the way, I’ll be basing this analysis off a mix of the manga and the OVA.)

Emotional Immaturity/Affective Dysregulation

Generally, Levi’s defining negative character trait as a young adult is his emotional immaturity/anti-social behavior. Yes he’s grumpy and rude which is always indicative of him, but he’s very quick to anger, too. He cursed at the Squad Leader who offended him (by assuming that because he, Isabel, and Farlan are from the Underground, they’d be dirty), and argued furiously with Farlan that he would kill Erwin—not because it was required for the job, but because he disrespected him—for a few examples.

ACWNR ch2

He tended to be arrogant, too. Such as when he ultimately called a Scout who had experience with the Titans stupid for telling Levi to hold his swords in a certain way. He spoke to every officer the same as he would anyone on the street, having a remarkable lack of basic respect for authority. He was insistent on distancing himself from the entire setting and structure of the Scouts as much as possible, both to not get attached, and he found their mission childish/foolish.

He’s rather selfish. There is nothing Levi cares about genuinely more than Isabel’s and Farlan’s lives and the job that will set them up with a good future. Farlan’s advice is the only one’s he takes and the only judgment outside himself that he considers, such as when Farlan asks him to not cause trouble with authority to keep a low profile, but even then he acts stubborn. Levi trusts nobody wholeheartedly except himself (until later in ACWNR).

There’s a cognitive dissonance in him. Growing up, and still as a young adult, Levi’s headspace is marked by fear and uncertainty, with his power as his source of confidence. The first time he kills a Titan (with Isabel and Farlan), he uses too much gas because he refuses to potentially risk his friends’ lives; when the expedition is upcoming, he abruptly tells Farlan and Isabel to find a reason to stay back, and that he’ll complete the dangerous part of the job on his own.

Levi is full of repressed fear and uncertainty. He hides and/or buries all of it for the sake of self-preservation both emotionally and physically.

Antisocial Personality…?

It’s extremely interesting how a character as selfless, heroic, and empathetic as Levi exhibits antisocial symptoms. I’d even argue that if his childhood was spent entirely without his mother figure, then he might be a dictionary definition of ASPD (Antisocial Personality Disorder).

People with this disorder live day-to-day under the constant assumption that whoever is around them is “out to get them”/searching for a weakness to exploit. Humanity is made up of only prey and predators; morals are completely subjective, perpetuated by the society that surrounds them. This constant need to defend oneself, the effect of the exact trauma the potential sociopath experienced, combined with a muted emotional spectrum, results in a complete disregard of everything, including people outside of themself. They might believe they’re entitled to comfort or admiration, but overall, they’re intensely self-serving, often aggressive, and ruthless.

Because Levi for instance learned to rely on violence both for “love” and survival, then he might fall on violence to manipulate a person or situation into serving himself. I see reason to believe that Levi could have grown into worse than Kenny’s image if it weren’t for his mother’s influence.

However, the greatest cause for deniability is Levi’s wide emotional spectrum (especially including empathy and shame), while a lack of shame is the most significant marker of ASPD . (It is arguably one of many testaments to his strength that a victim of so much suffering, violence, and cruelty could become a man as empathetic as him.)

However, these tendencies may still be relevant: A sense of arrogance—both to the way Levi thinks of some who he perceives as weak and live without good morals—lacking issue with using deceit or violence to attain a goal, and living outside the rule of authority.

I go into more detail about this idea here.

Conclusion

As is true in general, there’s very little to say of mental development once someone has reached their early–mid-twenties. What we know of Levi’s young adulthood does reinforce his fear of abandonment, but he finds a cause where his strength and compassion can be “put to good use” and give to him a life that is worth living.

Conclusion: the ‘Present’/Diagnoses Overview

C-PTSD (Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder)

Levi’s emotional dysregulation (i.e., inability to sit with and process negative emotions), his difficulties in relationships, insomnia, negative worldview, absent sense of self, and finally, his persistent sense of unworthiness/worthlessness are all indicative of C-PTSD. It’s distinct from PTSD in that he didn’t endure one short-term traumatizing event, but he grew up surrounded by trauma and saw it as normal (e.g., gang violence, extreme poverty, death of a parent, (more presumably) physically and emotionally abusive parental figure). Levi as a child developed no understanding of a nurturing, secure environment.

Negative/Absent Sense of Self

I’ve talked about this at length already, but it’s worth noting how Levi’s perception of himself must have changed when it was revealed that he is extremely strong physically not from his own efforts as much, but because he’s an Ackerman.

His self-confidence and self-worth have always been built on the foundation of his strength. He’s useful if he’s strong, so he’s worthy if he’s strong. Along with the extreme high pressure his goal to kill Zeke put on him in season four, he might have gone to extreme measures to compensate for his strength he might have felt was “unearned” (such as excessive exercise for example). This is an aside, but it was a blow to him for sure.

Emotional Dysregulation

The causes of emotional dysregulation generally which he experienced are as follows: early childhood trauma, feelings ignored, judged, or invalidated at a young age, and physical and emotional child neglect. Beyond his first four years of life with his mother, Levi experienced all these things (early exposure to sex and likely exposure to domestic violence aside).

It’s important to focus on emotional neglect specifically, when any and all perceived “weakness”, no matter how small, is unacceptable to Levi. He will never ask for help (being independent to a fault), he can’t define or process his emotions, and it doesn’t occur to him—and it could be a shock—when he learns that his friends care about him, not him insofar as how useful he is.

As an adult, Levi appears to be emotionally mature, but I argue that this isn’t the case. It’s more accurate to say that he has better control over his emotions (in that he buries them or ignores them) with a mature outlook because of all his experiences with suffering.

Similarly, he’s not outwardly emotional not because he’s antisocial (as related to ASPD, not introversion), but because he’s so “emotionally constipated” that he’s numbed the vast majority of the time.

Relationship Issues + Fear of Abandonment

Because of his fear of abandonment and impaired emotional intelligence in close relational conflict, he’s extremely passive and/or passive aggressive. In order to avoid potential abandonment, he doesn’t go out of his way to win major arguments—such as threatening to break Erwin’s legs if he didn’t stay away from the expedition in season three, but ultimately giving in. He’s also more likely to sneak petty insults into arguments, give “silent treatment”, slam doors, etc. His kindness and exceptional empathy shouldn’t let him be physically or overly violent.

These are likely additions to why Levi doesn’t foster many close relationships.

Fittingly, as a child I thought that Levi might have had an anxious attachment style (clingy, excessive need for security), but as this possibility for security was removed entirely, and he was taught to not rely on others, he would develop more of an overt avoidant attachment in adulthood in combination (fearful-avoidant): making very few emotional demands—even though he has needs—withdrawing when there’s conflict, acting aloof yet fearing abandonment, having difficulty expressing emotions he feels intensely, and fear of depending on someone else.

Anxiety

His cool-headedness even in the heat of battle/war (other factors like experience aside) is exactly what you would expect from someone diagnosed with C-PTSD; he’s accustomed to chronic high-stress. But small stressors (i.e., a change of plans) are overwhelming and make him quick to anger/excessive annoyance.

OCD

Emotional dysregulation is also closely associated with OCD.

OCD is much much more than being concerned with keeping clean or organized. OCD is an anxiety disorder composed of anxiety-related obsessions and compulsions, such as frequent and disturbing thoughts or images (intrusive thoughts). These attempt to be managed through rituals (i.e., handwashing, counting in patterns). Although symptoms will fluctuate with anxiety, OCD at its baseline is a distressing disorder.

Since he was young, Levi should have had an incessant need to be in control at all times. A shining example of this is his mother’s death, an incident he couldn’t control but included dirtiness/disease as a cause he could pinpoint, so this anxiety with dirtiness becomes a major obsession, and the compulsion is cleaning. (Putting aside the fact that Levi enjoys cleaning by itself too.)

It’s a widely-held belief that if Levi has OCD, it’s contamination OCD, as it specifically has to do with an obsession with dirtiness and a compulsion in cleaning (i.e., damaging handwashing, ritualized bathing that may take hours). However, based on the multitude of times Levi was covered in blood and remained unbothered by it (Titan and human), and in fact the obsession’s lack of relevance entirely during urgent missions/situations, contamination OCD is simply not plausible. Instead, it’s general OCD.

There’s no way to know for sure, but I don’t see his OCD as mild or severe. Levi is an extremely orderly and balanced person, so it can be concluded he must have things done a certain way, routinely, organizational, or planned; when the dirtiness is “negative” (i.e., Titan blood, blood on a knife he used to kill Isabel’s attackers), he is never more rigid with cleanliness; it’s probable he suffers intrusive thoughts (likely of the violent nature), a fear of contamination, and/or counting ritualistically, but the most obvious compulsion is cleaning. He might have sensory issues, such as disgust if he happens to brush shoulders with a stranger; aversion to particularly bright lights, irrational rage towards “mouth sounds” (i.e., chewing, coughing, swallowing), etc.

EDNOS (Eating Disorder Not Otherwise Specified)

Levi should have a complicated relationship with food to say the least.

In the realm of eating disorders, EDNOS is sort of a catch-all term when an individual doesn’t qualify for the diagnostic criteria of anorexia or bulimia, and it encompasses lesser-known eating disorders like Pica. It’s the most common diagnosis for clinical eating disorders.

I already covered how integral the early years of life are, and beginning at a young age, if children aren’t given a basic need like food, and they must seek out food on their own, it becomes an anxiety deeply rooted in the brain regardless of how well-fed they are when they’re older. There will always be an urge to have food available. Levi’s years in the Underground were spent either actively starving, or going about every single day having acquiring food as top priority. He was a young adult when he left, so it’s impossible to unlearn this (without extensive therapy, which Levi doesn’t seek). It’s similar to compulsions found in OCD: even though he logically knows that there will be a dinner after lunch, it’s impossible to put aside this worry.

That may mean always having food stashed, eating too much—especially in his early years Aboveground when he’d eat as much food in a day than he’d eat in a week Underground— stealing food, or eating way too quickly (as someone who lived in a place where food was considered something of a luxury resource and threatened being stolen at any time).

The latter factor contributes to Levi’s suggested preference to only eat alone—joining the fact that Levi only eats with Erwin after expeditions. Eating in front of others should be considered a weakness to him.

As time passes with this easy access to food, combined with his extremely narrow sense of what makes him “good enough”, his relationship with eating may become toxic. Especially when the stakes of his worthiness are so high—literally life and death. He may think that he’s privileged to eat at all, and when he feels worthless, he restricts himself from that “privilege”.

He may be so accustomed to the feeling of hunger, that it doesn’t immediately register with his mind when he is hungry.

Lastly, he may have a generally low appetite. This is often associated with depression, but depression is comorbid with C-PTSD.

Misc.

Some tangents/miscellaneous speculation about Levi’s psychology:

Queer?

Sexuality is formed and shifts due to a wide variety of factors, which most if not all are terribly understudied: genetics, hormones, and your environment/experiences. So again, my speculation.

With his fear of close relationships and negative experiences with sex, I think he should land somewhere on the queer spectrum, specifically under the asexual or aromantic umbrella (i.e., pansexuality/being panromantic (attraction to personality) and demisexuality/being demiromantic (attraction only to those he has an emotional connection to)).

MDD

The odds of Levi having MDD (major depressive disorder/clinical depression) are iffy. Most if not all of the symptoms are comorbid with childhood trauma and C-PTSD: Such as persistent apathy, guilt, and/or discontent; sleeping too much or too little; lack of energy; reduced or heightened appetite; irritability.

Oftentimes, depression, C-/PTSD, and related mental illnesses cause unexplained physical pain, such as back pain and occasional tension headaches. “Stress hormones” like adrenaline are built-up in the body, and usually persist without physical therapy and-or medication (Disclaimer this mention is based on nothing more than Levi always standing with at least one hand on his hip).

Body Language

Similar can be said of his body language from a cognitive perspective. The vast majority of the time, Levi has himself closed-off in some way, usually by crossing his arms to protect his chest; a subconscious barrier between oneself and another person.

Also see this official art of Levi asleep.

Afterword

We’ve known it’s not just Levi’s physical strength and skill that makes him the strongest, right? It should take immense mental strength to make it day-by-day dealing with the trauma and issues that he does, but not only has he survived and continues to, but he lives heroically, selflessly, with the wellbeing of everyone around him as a top priority. He buries all of his pain by moving forward always and without exception regardless of how painful the present is. Living with “no regrets” should in mental respects be a guise for pushing his trauma down, too; there’s just no words that can properly do Levi’s resilience justice.

Part of me wants to go into detail about his later adulthood, but given how very little we know (right now), I think it’d be too speculative.

However, based on what we have seen at the ending of AOT, it’s comforting to know and plain to see that Levi wasn’t defeated when he “lost” the reason to be so strong, and even his strength itself; he didn’t lose his love for his friends nor of life.

In middle age, based on Erikson’s psychosocial stages, the conflict that should enter Levi’s life is the idea of generativity versus stagnation. He seems satisfied with his life despite the negative effects of all he went through—grief, physical disability, inevitable mental scarring—and he’s still concerned with helping others, especially the younger generation in a world after the overwhelming devastation that was the Rumbling.

My speculated psychopathologies/diagnoses of Levi:

C-PTSD (insomnia prevalent)

OCD (contamination obsessions)

EDNOS

#levi aot #snk levi #levi ackerman #levi attack on titan #captain levi #captain levi ackerman #aot levi #aot levi ackerman #attack on titan levi #aot meta #levi heichou #rivaille heichou #levi rivaille #rivaille ackerman #lance corporal rivaille #levi snk #levi.thoughts #aot #attack on titan

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arkstray · 3 months

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EDIT: GUYS THIS IS NOT ABOUT THE SLENDERMAN BLOGS ON TUMBLR, THIS IS ABOUT THE YOUTUBE SLENDERVERSE SERIES ONLINE LIKE MARBLE HORNETS AND EVERYMANHYBRID ��😭😭 /NM (NOT MAD)

saw some stuff so im reminding people

Be normal about the people who have played Slenderverse characters.

they are not popular celebrities.

they did not get paid to make this series.

this is not some big triple A franchise.

this is a more niche interest and the people who have made these videos all are normal people who have jobs, lives, families, and partners. they are NOT celebrities.

i repeat, they are NOT CELEBRITIES.

reel it in when you talk about the people behind the characters. with the characters themselves, there is more leniency, as they are fictional. but when the members who made those characters open up interactions or choose to be public online , please for the love of god act normally towards them. dont be like those stereotypically parasocial "youre my comfort streamer tim sutton" type people, you know?

just a daily reminder, i dont mean this in an aggressive way. i hate how these fandoms have treated their most beloved creators.

#marble hornets #slenderverse #i dont know if EMH drama happened recently or something but i saw something pop up in my feed so like as a reminder #everymanHYBRID #i dunno any other ones ummmm #mlanderson0 #?????

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equus-cowboyus · 11 months

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bro i can't finish anything rn i have like five billion wips so take tumblr screenshot redraw on tumblr

also ik that arthur always says john is the favourite and he probably was but like through out all of rdr2 dutch was fucking pissed at john 😭 like mean passive aggressive pissed. please understand my brain

#fanart #red dead redemption #rdr #rdr2 #red dead redemption two #red dead redemption 2 #arthur morgan #john marston #dutch van der linde #hosea matthews #shit posting #bruhg

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toniiswrld · 3 months

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no fucking way are you real? Cuz I can’t comprehend how tf you write shit like smut out of REAL PEOPLE? and then have the fucking nerve to say oh I love these people. Shaking my fucking head.

“get on the bed,” anon growls when they come into the room. eyes low, quickly ridding themself of their clothes while you hurriedly move yourself from your desk to the bed. you follow their actions and take off your clothes, and anon gets on top of you.

they must have had a rough day at work, being a bit more aggressive with you than usual. they smash their lips onto yours, and you gasp at the action. anon shoves their tongue into your mouth without warning, and you open up your mouth more so they can explore the warm cavern with their tongue.

you moan when anon brings their hand to your chest, taking your breast in their hand to pinch your nipples.

“a-anon… please don’t tease me”

“be patient, slut” they hiss, pulling away from your mouth to suck hickeys into your neck. their fingers slide down your body… dipping into your folds.

the way anon rolled your clit in their fingers had you whimpering, before you almost screamed when you felt their fingers slip into your hole.

“so wet y/n… so needy just from me kissing you” they laugh, and you feel yourself getting close from the combination of anons fingers inside you and on your clit.

“nonie ‘m gonna c-cum!” you grip the bedsheets below you, and anon lets out a small hum of approval for you to cum. with a few more strokes you were seeing white. clenching around their fingers uncontrollably while you ride out your orgasm.

after catching your breath, anon pulls their fingers out of you and flips you on your back. “we aren’t done here, baby.”

okay on a real note, if you don’t like it… don’t read it! you’re on tumblr! you’re going to find smut in literally any fandom you look at on this app (like fork in a kitchen…) 😭

here’s a quick tutorial on how to make sure you don’t see anything like this again:

ill let you know right now that i reallyyyyy don’t gaf… and i’m keeping this as nice as i possibly can. like seriously just block and scroll 🤷🏽

any other responses i get like this i’m just gonna ignore btw… because its so easy to not see smut of you don’t want to see it

#x reader #smut #riize smut #anon ask #toniiswrld #toniiswrld ☆ asks

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ilovechuuy4 · 6 months

Note

Hi! I love your work, if you write smut would you be willing to write kinky Fyodor smut? He's probably vanilla ASF but like still 😭😭

A/N: UGH OMG TUMBLR IS SO ANNOYING BRO. ITS NOT LETTING ME POST JM GOIJG TO SOB. But yea he’s the most vanilla ass bro 😭

My attention is all on you darling

Fyodor D. X GN! Reader.;°

Warnings; kinks, smut, eating out/rimming, fingering, bjs/hjs, stretching etc

Headcanons

• Fyodor is definitely a very calm and nice husband but I feel like in bed he's very like, ready and a bit aggressive

• He has a decent after care he will probably get you nice food and cuddle you, washing will be a LOT later

• He doesn't like toys, he's the one to want to pleasure you himself

• Fyodor seems like a sadist but not like a big one maybe like degrading words in bed but sweetly

• The thought of him ruining you makes him excited

• He seems the one to enjoy blowjobs but I feel like he enjoys eating you out/rimming(if reader is male) you more

• Hair pulling kink for sure

• He'd probably edge you a lot not letting you cum until he says you can

• If you are giving him head, he'd want you to take as much of him as you can without hurting yourself

• "Such a good slut" type shit or like degrading praises

• Rough play/teasing

• slow and sensual sex

• he isn't the one to like groan but more of a whimper

• bending you over like the kitchen counter or the back of the couch

• Breeding kink???

• He'll cum where you want him to (inside out whteva)

• Picking you up in his arms and thrusting into you to reach deeper for sure

• he'll fuck you in different, private places (he's not the one to have sex with you in public spots)

Scenario!

It was around 12-1am and Fyodor has yet to come out from the office. He has had to be in it at least most of the day and night and only came out to eat or use the restroom, but that's all. You figured you would take things into your own hands and make Fyodor come to the room so you stand from the bed and make your way to his office. You skitter your way to the office door and open it, peeking inside to see the tired-ish russian man sitting at his desk typing away.

You sigh as you enter the office, closing the door behind you. "Fyodor." You whisper softly but loud enough for it to echo in the slightly empty office. Your husband turns to face you, his eyebrow cocked. "Yes, Myshka?" That thick Russian voice filling your ears for the first time that day. "I think it's time to take a break for the night." You murmur, stepping closer to Fyodor just from him to bring you onto his lap, his arms wrapping around your waist. "And why is that? It's only." He pauses as his gaze averts to the clock on the wall and back at you. "12:30am" he huffs out, kinda upset you did indeed have a point. "Please? We can do what you want tonight you just need a break." You say, you were serious, Fyodor needed a break.

You watch as Fyodor cocks his eyebrow once more, almost like he was considering your office since you felt his cold hand moving up your thigh. "Anything?" He asks, kissing your neck softly causing a soft hum to come from your throat. "Yes, anything honey." You mutter softly, your arms slowly wrapping around Fyodor's neck. "Then, could we make love?" He said, getting straight to the point, it was obvious that your cheeks were getting a soft tent of red on them.

"We could, if that's what you'd like?" You reply, kissing Fyodor's cheek. "Then let's." He said before starting to slip off his sweater tossing it over on the floor. The Russian then starts working on your shirt, slipping it up and off as he starts kissing and suckling on your neck, leaving soft red marks on it. You could feel the hardness of his member pressing against your thigh as he kissed your neck.

A soft whimper escapes your throat as you run your fingers through his deep hair. "Mih, Fyodor. Keep going." You mutter as you start unbuttoning his pants button and unzipping them, watching them fall down to his ankles. He leans in kissing you deeply. His tongue tracing your lips for entry. You slowly open your mouth as you kiss back, allowing Fyodors tongue to be pushed into your mouth.

Fyodor picks you up putting you on his desk, slowly breaking the kiss as he takes off your shorts, his bends down, kissing your inner thighs. "My myshka. your thighs are so soft I love them." He hums, leaving bite marks on your thighs as he takes off your shorts. You felt his cold hand go into your underwear slowly rubbing against your entrance making your breath hitch. "Fyfyodor." You stutter, your legs trembling. You feel his fingers slide inside your tight entrance, your walls squeezing his fingers. "Darlin" you're squeezing my fingers so tightly." He mutters as his fingers slowly trust in and out of you causing you to moan out, your fingers gripping his shirt. You pulls his head up slightly and kissing him passionately, causing Fyodor to let out a soft groan as he works his fingers inside you, stretching you to the liking so it wouldn't hurt when he goes inside you.

You could feel Fyodor's fingers moving around inside you with ever thrust of his fingers inside you until you felt Fyodor break the kiss and his fingers pulling out, hitch made you cock an eyebrow at the Russian man that was hovering over you. "Don't worry I'm still stretching you just want to try something." He muttered and before you knew it, his face was between your legs as he laps at your entrance making you whimper and squirm. "Ah?~ Wait, Fyodor." You moans out softly, this was definitely different it's not like it was weird but just different.

Your hands were running and tugging on Fyodor's black hair as he continued to eat you out/rim you, his tongue slowly pushing inside and exploring as he squirm underneath him. This goes on for a few minutes before he pulls away and stands up and takes off his boxers, his cock throbbing as it was released from the confines of his boxers. You watch as he grabs the lube, lathering his cock with it, giving himself a messy handjob, it was honestly a turn on. You watch as he rummages through his desk drawer and grabs a condom, slowly opening it and slipping it on. The man the lathers your entrance with a generous amount of lube before gently rubbing his cock head against your tight hole.

You bite your lip softly as he pushes in slowly, you could feel yourself being stretched a bit from the sheer thickness of the base of his cock as he pushed it in fully. Your moans and his groans echo throughout his office as he starts thrusting in and out of you. Your arms are wrapped around Fyodor's shoulders as your nails dig into his back, leaving scratch marks, making the Russian man groan lowly.

His hips grind against yours as he reaches deeper inside you, his hands gripping your thighs as he keeps up his agonizingly slow yet deep thrusts. "Ngh, Fyodor~" you moan but it was more of a whimper. Fyodor slowly starts to thrust deeper and faster before you feel his hands going under you and picking you up his hands on your ass as he starts pushing deeper inside you. You moan loudly, your body trembles violently, your limbs wrapping around Fyodor as he fucks you deeper. It felt so unbelievably good.

You nails dig deeply into Fyodor's back as the room is echoed with your moans and his groans as well as skin slapping against skin. You could feel a knot growing in your stomach as your orgasm was building up quickly and Fyodor continued to pound into you quickly. Your moans over power the other sounds in the room as your orgasm builds until you can't hold back any more, you cum as Fyodor thrusts one last time as he came as well, yall pant heavily as y'all ride the waves of pleasure y'all just experienced. It felt so good, unbelievably good actually...

"Oh myshka, that was amazing." You husband murmurs softly as he pulls out, rolling the condom off his cock and gently tying it up for the cum that filled the condom didn't get anywhere. You lean forward, capturing Fyodor's lips in a tender kiss and Fyodor slowly kisses back. It lasts for a a minute before you pull away.

"That, that was amazing, I love you." You managed to choke out as you still panted heavily. You watch as Fyodor rummages around once more, grabbing some wipes to gently clean you up, wiping away all the cum and sweat from your body, you seemed to exhausted for a shower anyways.

Your husband puts a gently kiss on your forehead before picking up your underwear, gently slipping them on over your sensitive areas and then taking off his shirt to put it on you. He picks you up and carries you off to the bedroom so y'all could relax now. "I love you too" Fyodor finally replies as he settles in bed, you on top of him, his arms wrapped around you.

"My attention is all on you, darling, always and forever." He mutters before kissing you once more letting it linger for a second before pulling off. You snuggle close to him before drifting off to a nice sleep. A smile is etched on his face as he gives you a gentle squeeze before closing his own eyes to fall asleep with you..

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ghoul-bonez · 1 year

Text

~You Are at Peace~

(Sully Family x Fem! Reader)

Summary: Adapting to your new life was hard, but you will get through this.

Word count: 3k

Author’s note: A Lover, Not a Fighter Pt. 3 everyone cheer! ALSO I have no idea how tumblr works so if I like reblog something or something formats stupid please tell me how to fix it 😭

Last - Next

~Series Masterlist~

~Main Masterlist~

You Are at Peace

Eventually after flying long enough you made it to the ocean. It was beautiful, and you were sure you could learn to love it with time, but right now you loathed it. You didn’t want to be there, and you never would. You will never love it like you love the forest.

Even though you will never love the ocean like the forest you will have to adapt to love it in its own way. You will have to adapt. Adapt to your new surroundings, the Metkayina people’s ways of life, their traditions and foods. You will have to change, and that scares you.

Even though you know you will struggle to adapt, you know it will be harder for your wife, Neytiri. Even though you are rigid in your ways you were more flexible than her. You could take a change, you could change with it, but she struggled. It took her longer to change, to adapt.

You predict Jake will have no troubles with adapting. He never has. He went from being a human to a Na’vi, an Omatikaya. Then he had easily slid into being Toruk Makto and the Olo’eyktan roll. Although he is stubborn he changes like the tides in the ocean, easily, giving and taking from the things he already knows.

It relieves you that your children are still young and flexible. They loved the forest, their home, but they were willing to learn new things. Curiosity is on their side, wanting to know about everything around them. You can not see the future so you hope they will love it here, or at least like it. Like it enough to call it their home, unlike you will never be able to do.

The Metkayina people won’t be so accepting of your presence, your intrusion. They will not understand you, as you will not understand them. They will see you as outsiders, people who don’t belong. If they don't like you or Neytiri they certainly won’t like Jake or your children. They will see them as aliens, even Neteyam and Tuk, who have the same hands as you and them.

You were worried they wouldn’t let you stay, for many reasons. You were refugees of war, fleeing a dangerous killer. If Quaritch found you he would target them too, bringing more war and violence. Jake and the children had that same demon blood flowing through them, the people would fear them, hate them, not allow you to stay.

As you thought Tuk, who was with you again after a few stops, tugged on your arm, “Mama, we’re here!” She cheered as you passed a rocky formation with lots of little pools of water on it.

You couldn't help but be enamored by the formation, it was something you had never seen before. You looked around more and ahead of you was the main island. It was surrounded by trees, the roots were what their homes were built on, hanging over the water.

It was beautiful, but not what you were used to, not home.

Jake led the way, circling the beach before landing on it, followed by everyone else. The landing was rough, your ikran not used to the sand, but you settled her quickly.

You hopped off before helping Tuk off, immediately picking her up, holding her in your arms. You weren’t sure if it was to calm her or yourself.

Neytiri was very obviously unhappy as she aggressively grabbed her bow out of its holder on her ikran, and when Jake noticed he shook his head at her, muttering, “Hey, leave it.”

“Tuk,” Neytiri cood at the girl in your arms, so you let her down and she ran to Neytiri, holding onto her hand tightly. You followed quickly after, holding onto Tuk’s other hand.

You were just as unsure as Neytiri, but you tried just a little harder to hold it, tried to be civil with the new people, not glaring at them like her.

Jake warned you and Neytiri, but the warning was mostly for the more hostile of the both of you, “Be nice.”

Tuk looked up at you, then Neytiri, asking, “Who… Who are they?” She must be so scared. These people were so different, they looked different and sounded different. It was a lot for you to take in so you could only imagine how the eight year old was feeling.

You squeezed her hand in reassurance, “It’s okay, Tuk Tuk.”

Neytiri spoke calmly, “Be nice.” she warned your kids, just like Jake had her.

You felt the need to parrot them and so you did, “Be nice, everyone.” You looked over to Lo’ak specifically.

Jake approached the crowd with his hands out, a sign of peace, he meant to harm.

People whispered around you, but you couldn’t make out what they were saying, putting you on edge. There was some part of you that was happy you couldn’t hear them, not worried about defending yourself against their words.

You felt the unease about them, and your family, so you looked over everyone again, making sure everyone was okay and intact. Everyone was okay, everyone was there. You were in this together.

Kiri wrapped her shawl around her tighter, and you took that as a sign to walk over to her, pulling her into your side, “It will be okay, ma ‘ite.”

Then the crowd parted and two boys walked to the front. They seemed to be around your oldest three’s age. Maybe they could all be friends, but the look on the boy’s faces said otherwise. Neteyam and Lo’ak greeted them first as they seemed focused on your two, their hands meeting their forehead then extending down, but the Metkayina boys just snickered.

Jake could sense the rising emotions and tried to defuse your boys, “Easy, just be cool.”

The strange new boys circled Neteyam and Lo’ak, “Look, what is that? Is that supposed to be a tail?” The shorter boy asked, laughing in their faces.

You were grateful and watched as Lo’ak’s attention was pulled away from them, becoming interested in a girl who was approaching from the water. You were relieved she had caught his attention before he had started something, but you also couldn’t help but smile at the dumb look on his face, you knew that look, and it seemed Neteyamm did as well because of his little giggle at his brother.

“It’s too small.” The boys continued talking about your tails, “How are they supposed to swim?”

How were you supposed to swim? It had to be different for them, just like walking, and it wasn’t for you. You for one hated the water and had never learned to swim, but you guess you’re going to have to learn soon. A little sooner than you would like though.

“Do not.” The girl Lo’ak had been looking at scolded them, sighing and giving you a smile.

You then zoned back in on your mates in front of you, they were watching someone fly in on some creature you had never seen before. He flew above you, and you instinctively ducked down a little, your heart jumping up your throat.

Then he landed, the animal swimming the rest of the way, where he hopped off of it, walking right towards you. This must be the Olo’eyktan. You couldn’t help but wonder where the Tsahik was.

Jake greeted the man, confirming your suspicion of the man’s role in the clan, his fingers met his forehead before swooping down, "I see you, Tonowari.”

“Jakesully.” He greeted back simply.

You and Neytiri went to greet him as well, the rest of your family following you and greeting him wordlessly with the hand gesture.

Then a woman approached, parting the sea of people like the boys earlier, but unlike the boys, you were afraid of her. An air of confidence hung around her. She was dangerous, the danger of being told no. Of being turned away.

Jake greeted her too, “I see you, Ronal, Tsahik of the Metkayina.” So she was the Tsahik. She definitely had the aura of a strong leader, probably more in charge than the Olo’eyktan himself.

“I see you, Ronal.” Neytiri spoke too, but you couldn’t bring yourself to say anything, simply nodding at her respectfully.

Tonowari drug his attention away from his mate, looking to Jake and speaking to him, “Why do you come to us, Jakesully?”

Jake was hesitant as he spoke, fear on display to you, but nobody else would be able to tell, “We seek uturu.”

Ronal almost looked offended, gasping, “Uturu?”

Jake just nodded his head, “Yes, sanctuary for my family.”

Ronal started circling you, she seemed to watch you extra as she walked around you, she probably hadn’t heard of you, not many had. You had always been a lover, not a fighter, so it would make sense. You weren't Toruk Makto who had defeated the Sky People. You weren't the future Tsahik or the clan leader’s daughter. You were just their mate, but that was enough for you.

Tonowari tried to reason with Jake, it felt like he didn’t want you there, but in reality he was probably trying to understand better, “We are reef people. You are forest people. Your skills will mean nothing here.”

“Well, we will learn your ways. Am I right?” Jake tried to convince him, looking at the rest of your family who muttered staggered “yes”s.

Ronal grabbed Neytiri’s tail, rolling it in her grasp, before letting it go. Then she grabbed Tuk’s arm and you had to remember to stay calm, “Their arms are thin.”

“Mama!” Tuk was scared as she rushed over to you away from Neytiri, away from Ronal.

Ronal continued looking you over, “Their tails are weak.”

She grabbed Kiri’s who shouted, “Ow!”

“You will be slow in the water.” Then she grabbed Kiri’s hands, and your heart dropped, your worst fears coming true as she held her hand up, “These children are not even true Na’vi.”

The crowd around you gasped as they took in Kiri’s hands, and you felt your breath leave you as if they had stolen your air to create their own.

“Dad.” Kiri whispered, looking towards Jake, who stood there as sturdy as ever, keeping himself calm, “Yes we are!” Kiri protested when her dad said nothing.

Then she went to Lo’ak holding up his hand too. This was painful for you, watching the children you loved so much be bullied, picked on, by an adult. The Tsahik of the people you are trying to create peace with nonetheless.

“They have demon blood!” Ronal spoke strongly. She was unwavering, stronger than you right now. She had more power, and that showed as the crowd gasped again.

Lo’ak looked ashamed, and you could only imagine how he was really feeling. You wanted to comfort him, but you stayed in place next to Kiri.

Jake had to do something, and he had to do it fast. You looked at him, making eye contact and glaring, and he finally spoke, “Look. Look!” He held up his own hand, “Look, I was born of the Sky People, and now I am Na’vi. Alright?” Admitting to his past sins, “You can adapt. We Will adapt, okay?” he spoke confidently.

Then it was Neytiri who stepped forward, and you could feel the fear welling up in you. You were afraid to step out of line, but you knew she wasn’t, “My husband was Toruk Makto.” Jake cringed, “He led the clans to victory against the Sky People.”

Ronal scoffed right in her face, “This you call victory? Hiding among strangers. It seems Eywa has turned her back on you, chosen one.”

This set not only Neytiri off, but you as well, killing off all fear in you as you hissed strongly at the woman. Ronal looked shocked, but only for a second as she regained herself, snarling back.

Neytiri looked from you, to Jake, then back to you, but Jake was making eye contact with Tonowari, as if saying sorry before he spoke, addressing Ronal as well, “I apologize for my mate. She’s-”

You gaped at him, how dare he, “Do not apologize for me.”

Jake just continued in his apology, “Flown a long way,and she’s exhausted.” You gritted your teeth, snarling quietly at him.

“Jake.” You huffed, but he just looked at you, almost daring you to say more, but you didn’t.

Tonowari ignored the whole altercation, wanting to smooth everything over for his people, “Toruk Makto is a great war leader, all Na’vi know his story, but we Metkayina are not at war.”

Jake sighed and picked up Tuk who had called out to him. He looked exhausted, and this was the first time you noticed. He looked grated down, but he knew he couldn’t rest until his family, your family, was safe.

The Olo’eyktan spoke again, “We cannot let you bring your war here.”

“I’m done with war, okay? I just want to keep my family safe.” He cradled Tuk against him.

Neytiri added, “Uturu has been asked.”

Tuk whispered, “Do we have to go?” and you hustled over to her and Jake, taking her from him as he looked like he was about to drop her from exhaustion.

“Shh, we’ll be okay.” You reassured her.

You watched as Ronal and Tonowari looked at each other, making intense eye contact. It was like they were having a conversation without talking, one that you couldn’t understand and could never hope to. Then Ronal nodded her head, and you knew you were going to be okay, but you waited for someone to speak.

Tonowari turned to the crowd to address them, “Toruk Makto and his family will stay with us.”

That was the last thing you heard before you zoned out, relief flowing through your system. You silently prayed to Eywa, praising her, thanking her, for keeping you safe.

As relieved as you are you realize you now need to adapt. You are being forced to adapt. You would have to completely change your ways, learn a new way of life, and you weren’t happy about that, but you pushed that to the back of your mind, ignoring it for now.

You have been living by the sea for four weeks now, and although you weren’t doing the best at learning the new ways, your children were, and you were grateful for that. You were grateful they seemed to be enjoying themselves, fitting in for the most part.

For the most part everyone was nice to you, to them, but some of the other kids their age weren’t so nice. You had helped confort Kiri after being bullied, and cleaned Lo’ak up after a fight stemming from that.

You were most grateful for Tsireya. She had taken your kids under her wing, treating them as equals, even though she had more knowledge about the sea, and was teaching them about it. You had taken a liking to her, and part of that was because Lo’ak liked her so much. Possibly more than liked, but you let things play out on their own.

Jake was doing great, like you had predicted. He was learning fast and pulling his weight like he had asked your family to do. He had learned to ride a tsurak, which was impressive on its own, but he had also learned to hunt with one. He was providing for your family like he had always done.

Neytiri was having a harder time than Jake, but an easier time than you. She had stuck to helping Ronal with Tsahik duties. She had adapted to helping the others quickly, it was just like how she had helped her mom at home. You had wanted to help Ronal as well, but she had refused, saying she didn’t need help or another healer.

You were surprised how rigid you had become, not wanting to learn anything new, not wanting to touch the water, not wanting to leave your home. Neytiri had always been the less flexible one, the one more set in her ways, so why were you struggling so much?

The reason was obvious to everyone besides yourself. You were scared. You were scared of everything. You were scared of the water, that every time you entered it you would be swept away by the current and pulled into the depths. You were scared of the change, that if you changed your ways you would lose the old you. You were scared because everything you had ever known was swept out from beneath you.

Even though Ronal did not need help with Tsahik duties, or need another healer, she had been helping you learn their ways. When she was not busy she would seek you out and drag you towards the water. You had learned to swim and hold your breath, but you were still very hesitant about the ocean. She was gentle and patient with you, much nicer now than she was when you had first arrived.

When you weren’t with Ronal you were trying to busy yourself with simple tasks. You spent most of your time crafting, weaving baskets for supplies, making tops for Neytiri and Kiri, even a few for Tuk to grow into, and carving beads for Tuk’s hair and other crafts.

You were bored, but you were grateful for the break in some ways. You had space to breathe, to process. You were doing lots of processing, and you felt like you were getting nowhere because when you grasped one thing there was something new that came up.

Even though you had nothing to do, you found yourself enjoying your time. You enjoyed your alone time, and enjoyed your time with your family. You didn’t want to, but you had learned to live like this, to live in a new way.

Whenever you think about your new life a sense of calm has draped itself over you, and you are at peace.

Word Bank:

Metkayina (Ocean Na’vi)

Omatikaya (Forest Na’vi)

Toruk Makto (Rider of Last Shadow)

Olo’eyktan (Clan leader)

Ikran (Mountain Banshee)

‘Ite (Daughter)

Tsahik (Spiritual leader)

Uturu (Sanctuary)

Eywa (Na’vi goddess)

Tsurak (Skimwing)

@im-in-a-pansexual-panik - @ducks118 - @ssc7514

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hobiebrownismygod · 8 months

Text

Thinking about comforting Hobie after a tough battle + Analysis/Rant at the end GN! Reader x Hobie Brown

TW: None

This is my first fic/headcanon so feedback is greatly appreciated 💜

He comes home covered in blood, visibly exhausted from whatever he’d been doing before. You were sitting in the living room, leaning against a pillow on the couch, quietly reading a book when you heard the door creak open. Your head whips toward the sound and your eyes widen when you see Hobie walking toward you, a dead expression on his face, no more jokes left to be made. You sit up straight, mouth forming to ask a question but you don’t get the chance. He plops down on the couch and pulls you into a bear hug, burying his face in your neck and breathing in your scent quietly, a soft sigh escaping from his lips as he practically melts into you. Your hands slowly run up his back, gently tracing your fingers over his sore muscles, feeling the fabric of his shirt fold just slightly as you rub his back, eliciting another sigh from his lips. “Missed you, sunshine,” he whispered quietly. “I missed you too."

Ranting/Slight Analysis below the cut cuz why tf is Hobie so sexualized on Tumblr? Where is the fluff and angst??

I'm so sick of seeing Hobie so heavily sexualized in peoples' posts. He doesn't do anything sexual or even remotely romantic in the movie, and doesn't even have a confirmed love interest in either ATSV or his comic series. I think the main reason people are sexualizing him so much, is because he's an attractive black man, and people heavily stereotype male black characters in the media as aggressive. I'm not gonna do a deep-dive into this because I really haven't done that much research, but I've noticed that we rarely see any Hobie Brown fluff or angst that doesn't end in heavy smut and I find that very unsettling. Not only is there very few SFW fan fictions of him, even in those fanfictions, the "reader"/y/n is given as many issues as possible and is always the one being comforted or being saved. He's literally a black man surviving a fascist dictatorship in the extremely racist and misogynistic era of the 1970s. There is NO way this man doesn't have heavy trauma as a result of this, considering the fact that he's also canonically killed two people. Why aren't fanfictions and headcanons addressing this? Why don't we have any Hobie x Reader fanfictions where the reader actually cares about Hobie's emotions and not just about f*cking him? Because I'd love to see that.

I'm probably gonna draft an actual analysis of his sexualization on Tumblr eventually, so if y'all see any posts that do that please tag me or if have anything feedback or anything to say, please let me know <3

Have a Hobie for getting to the end! He's so pretty 😭

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tamayula-hl · 11 days

Text

All thanks to Clip Studio Paint's 3D dolls! These dolls have saved me a lot of time and effort in drafting and composing… I can't draw without them anymore🤣

And actually, the more I draw, the more I enjoy improving my drawing, so lately I've been sacrificing sleep and food to draw 🥹 I'll try to take care of myself to the extent that I don't get sick 🤣

Aww, thanks for those kind words! I started studying recently because I love those gentle colors and gradations that can only be expressed by hand-painted watercolors, and I really enjoy painting them! There are so many things I want to paint in watercolor, so please keep an eye on my training 🥹💞

I'm so glad so many people can relate to how attractive the Yandere and possessive Slytherins are 😆💕. And of course I would love to draw more! I'd like to draw some kind of spicy and dark smut, but I've already drawn a Yandere-like smut with this and that, so it's hard to come up with a new story 🤣 But I hope to draw something about them soon 💪

Thank you! I'm not sure I understand what you are saying with my poor English, you mean how much more Yandere and Dark can ominis be?😳✨ In my headcanon, I envision Ominis as a less aggressive, conservative, self-sacrificing Yandere compared to Seb, but when, for example, the Gaunt family tries to harm MC or MC is in danger, I want him to be dark, cunning and aggressive to any extent!🤭🤭🤭 Sorry if I misread your English and gave a misguided answer 😭🙏

Sorry I forgot to reply to your Ask for over two months 😭🙏. And I am very honored to receive your compliments! To be honest, I still find it very difficult to paint and represent these people who lived in Britain and Scotland at the end of the 19th century, but on the other hand, it's very interesting to learn about the western culture of the time! I will continue to draw various Ominis in the future 😆💪✨.

I would like to take this opportunity to say that I think there are a lot of Ask's that I forgot to reply to when I just created this Tumblr account. I was new to Tumblr back then and didn't really understand the Ask 😭 I'm sorry if anyone is disappointed that you took the time to send me an Ask. But I read all the texts I received with full of joy! Thank you so much after all!

#answers

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radexchangeprogram · 2 years

Text

Still too crammed to put out a coherent piece of work so have some random hcs. I didn’t proof read this so I’m sorry for grammar errors.

Random Devildom Culture HCS (Romance/Courtship)

Courtship varies depending on the sin the demon is more affiliated with, but they all essentially do the same thing: showing a potential partner that they value them over their sin. For example, a sloth demon may offer to help a potential love interest with some work.

Demons tend to not do anything without ulterior motive, so if a demon starts doing stuff for you without them owing you/needing anything from you, they probably have a crush.

It’s a very difficult task for a lot of demons which is why it’s considered a big deal to go through with actually courting someone.

If the feelings are mutual, the other demon will de the same.

After proving that this is a committed courtship, then it starts to look a lot more similar to how humans date. This includes things like going to restaurants, going to movies, ect.

Grooming is also a major part of bonding with a partner. This can include buffing your partner’s horns, helping them shed, preening, helping maintain hooves, ect. It builds mutual trust as if a non-loved one where to touch any of these parts, a fight would definitely break out.

Over time, each demon does tend to take on more traits of the other’s sin. (E.g. an envy demon becomes more gluttonous if their partner is a gluttony demon and vice versa).

Demon relationships are more often than not open with both partners still having casual flings, but some couples prefer to keep a closed relationship. It’s not considered taboo either way.

Devildom weddings are a huge spectacle and extremely colorful. Both suits and dresses have various combinations of colors and are almost always custom made.

This is because the colors chosen are meant to come together to represent the unique chemistry of the relationship.

Couples can assign meaning to the colors as they please and it’s very common for keys that discuss the meaning of a couple’s colors to be handed out at weddings.

Demons get something similar to a pact mark after getting married. Both parties get it and it looks like a combination of the two’s sigils. If a human marries a demon, a unique mark is still formed, but it tends to be more representative of something the human has a deep connection to (plant, animal, ect).

Demons can marry multiple partners and many do. Like I said earlier, it just depends on the relationship. A unique mark will form per spouse.

I don’t think demons, with the exception of envy or greed demons, get particularly possessive over a partner. They do, however, get pretty protective. To a human, this can appear possessive as demons can get more aggressive with it, but most demons back off right away or a partner can talk them down pretty fast so it doesn’t often break out into fights.

Because of their lifespan, marriage milestones tend to be every 20 years. Human-demon couples typically adopt the human tradition of celebrating yearly.

If you think I should write some specific courting hcs of the current characters, please let me know. My semester ends in about 3 weeks so I should have more time.

If you liked this, please also consider reblogging/leaving a comment. It really helps my work get out there more and it means a lot.

EDIT: Ty so much for all the support and kind comments this post has received 😭😭 this is a side blog so tumblr doesn’t let me reply directly under this URL, but I wanted to say I’ve been reading all of them with a big smile on my face.

#obey me #obey me shall we date #obey me headcanons #obey me x reader #om! swd #om headcanons

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daddynattt · 1 year

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omg im so happy i found your blog, you’ve quickly become one of my new favourite writers !! 😭😭

the pussyjob and dirty talk in your latest nat fic was literally so perfect I s(creamed)🫣

Can you please write a fic with Nat that includes tribbing/scissoring? (only if you’re comfortable with it ofc) I think i’ve only seen like two tribbing fics with Nat in the entirety of tumblr so i’d love to see how you do with it! <33

you and me both! lol. thank you so much<3 i hope you enjoy this

You’re Mine

Summary: When Natasha sees you and Wanda dancing at one of Tony’s famous parties, she does what she can to steal you away and show you who you really belong to.

Pairings: Natasha Romanoff x Reader , Brief Wanda Maximoff x Reader

Warnings: Possesive Nat, Jealous Nat, Smut, Scissoring, Fluff, Tony being Tony.

Word Count: 2.4k

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You looked in the mirror for the final time as you put on your jewelry and walked out of your room at the compound. Tony is having another one of his parties and said everyone has to attend that they can’t get out of it. You hated his parties as all anyone did was get black out drunk and sleazy men would always try to hit on you. If you were being honest, you only wanted one person to hit on you and that was a certain red head. Your relationship with Natasha was a weird one. At times she would appear stone cold, only interacting when you went on missions together or had team gatherings. Other times the two of you would flirt and play this game of cat and mouse. Lately, she has been around you more and has made flirtatious jokes along with lingering touches here and there. Your crush on the assassin was one that you can’t get rid of no matter how many times you told yourself she didn’t want you in a romantic way.

You sigh as you enter through the doors and look around you. Tony was at the bar taking shots with Bucky and Sam, already looking like he couldn’t stand on his own two feet for much longer. Steve was chatting with Wanda and Clint in the corner by the bar and Natasha was talking to some guy you’ve not once seen in your entire time of being an Avenger and living in the compound. You roll your eyes as you make your way towards the bar, already desperately needing a drink to get some alcohol in your system. You’re just going to stay at the party for one hour tops and make your way back to your room so you can lay in bed and watch the show that you’re currently watching.

“Y/n! so nice of you to finally join us” you hear Tony slur from beside you, a cup in his hand of God knows what. You stare at him as he stumbles and almost falls. “How are you already this drunk at your own party?” you ask him bewilderingly. He taps you on the back quite harshly, the sudden force catching you off guard as you almost spill your drink on yourself as you stumble forward in your seat. “Watch it Stark, I am not afraid to kick your ass” you glare at him as you put your drink back on the bar countertop. He raises his hands in defense and smirks at you. “Now now no need to get so aggressive, leave that for a certain red head” You roll your eyes and glare at him again but the light tint of pink on your cheeks gives you away.

“How about you shut your mouth because I have no clue what you’re talking about” you take a sip of your drink and turn away from him as you look around you once more. You smile as you see Wanda approaching you, inviting her with a wave of your hand to sit beside you. She smiles at you as she takes the seat next to you. “Is Tony bothering you?” she laughs at your annoyed expression when he quickly denies it. You ignore him as you smile at her. “When isn’t he? he’s so annoying” you say the last part loud enough so he could hear you. Wanda giggles and smiles brightly at you, and you can’t deny that she looks absolutely gorgeous when she does so.

“That’s Tony for you, i’m surprised you even showed up to the party” You smile at her and take another sip of your drink. “Well, he basically forced us and I didn’t want to face his wrath if I didn’t show up tonight, you know how he is. Besides, my company at the moment is very lovely” you slide your hand up her arm flirtatiously and you relish in the way she smiles shyly at you, a light blush accompanying her cheeks. You smile at her and get up, putting your hand out for her to grab.

“Would you like to dance with me?” she smiles and grabs your hand, walking the two of you towards the dance floor. “I would love to, cmon” The two of you dance together, her arms around your neck as yours go around her waist, her body so close to you that you feel her breath on your face. You have a feeling that someone is watching you so you look to the side and notice Natasha looking

in your direction, a hard glare fixated towards the back of Wanda’s head. You smirk as you pull Wanda closer, if that is even possible, as you whisper something in her ear. You see Natasha walking towards you guys from the corner of your eye, her eyes not once leaving yours.

“Hi ladies, so Y/n, I thought you said you were going to come find me so we could dance” you smile at her as you look into her eyes. “Hmm did I? I don’t recall, I was actually enjoying my dance with Wanda” her gaze is hard as she looks at you, her jaw clenched as she grabs onto your arm. “Well I guess it’s my turn now, sorry Wanda but i’m going to steal Y/n for a moment” before Wanda has a chance to speak, you’re being dragged away and out of the party. “What the hell Nat? what are you doing?” the wind gets knocked out of you as you’re slammed into the wall somewhere away from the party.

“Shut up. Did you enjoy your dance with the little witch? Tell me, or did you wish it was me instead?” she has that stupid smirk on her face that always makes you feel some type of way, her face is so close to yours you could almost taste the lipgloss on her lips.

Before you can say anything, her lips are on yours in a bruising kiss that makes your stomach swoop, the butterflies in your stomach going haywire as your brain finally catches up and you kiss her back with the same intensity. When you feel the need to catch air in your lungs so you don’t pass out, she pulls back first and cups your jaw in her hand as she stares into your eyes. “You’re mine Y/n, and i’m going to show you who you belong to” you two make your way to your shared room and stumble through the door, her lips on yours the second you close it shut. Your head feels fuzzy as all you feel and taste is her. You have been waiting for this moment for so long and you are going to enjoy every second of it.

You feel her hot breath on your neck as she kisses you there, leaving love bites wherever her mouth reaches, her hands on your butt as she squeezes you there. You run your hands through her hair and moan in her ear. “Nat please, I need you” you pant out as you feel her tongue licking your earlobe, biting it right after. You feel her sucking on your neck again, no doubt leaving many marks that will for sure be hard to cover up. You think she is trying to claim her mark, and the thought of it leaves you even more wet then you already are. She rids you from your dress leaving you in only your panties, pushing you towards the bed and laying you on your back.

She kisses you hard and shoves her tongue in your mouth, the feeling of her tongue against yours making the ache in your core start to feel uncomfortable . You need her now as the overwhelming feeling of her has become too much for you to handle. She kisses down your chest, taking your nipple in her mouth as she sucks on it. You can feel your slick running down your thigh as you are unbelievably wet for her. “Fuck nat, just like that, feels so good” she bites your nipple and kisses down your body, she lays down as she gets in between your legs. She slides off your panties and spreads your legs wide as she admires her view, breathing in your scent as her mouth waters.

“God you are so wet for me baby, you’re absolutely dripping. I can’t wait to taste your sweet pussy” she licks your juices from your inner thighs, your breathing picking up at the overwhelming feeling of her mouth on you. You run your hand through her hair and tug her closer to where you need her most.

“Please Natty, stop teasing me, need your mouth so bad” you mewl out breathlessly as you look down at her. She gives you a long lick from the bottom to the top of your clit, gathering your taste on her tongue. She starts to lick your folds, looking up at you as she sucks your clit into her mouth. “You taste so fucking good baby, the best pussy i’ve ever had” you moan loudly as her tongue hits you in all the right places, feeling her stick her finger inside you as she sucks on your clit again. “Shit you’re so tight, you feel so warm around me” she fucks you with one finger then slowly adds another one, moving them in and out of you expertly. You are dripping wet that once you adjust, you swallow her fingers as she fucks you deep. “F-fuck don’t stop, that feels so fucking good” she moans against your clit as your nails scratch at her scalp as she fucks you faster, the vibration making your eyes roll to the back of your head. Her mouth and fingers feel so good that you can’t think of anything else. You’re close and she knows it as you clench around her fingers.

She moves up your body and sucks on your earlobe as she fucks you deep and hard, as she whispers in your ear, her voice hot and raspy. “You gonna cum for me baby? Cum all over my fingers, that’s it baby, such a good girl for me” after a few more thrusts you cum hard on her fingers as a strong orgasm washes over you, your breathing is heavy as she rides out your high. You lay there panting as you try to catch your breath.

She slides her fingers out and you whimper from the loss of feeling, she brings her fingers to your mouth and looks into your eyes. “Open” you instantly obey and suck on her fingers, moaning at your taste. She bites her lip and gets up from the bed and takes off her clothes, joining you in finally getting naked. You bite your lip as you admire her, you’ve never seen someone more beautiful then her. You don’t know if your mind is just hazy from your orgasm but you think you see a hint of a blush on her cheeks and the thought makes your heart swell in your chest. “God Nat, you’re so beautiful” she smiles at you and joins you back on the bed as she kisses you.

You feel her slick against your thigh and the fact that she is so wet from only pleasing you makes you feel immense pride. She pulls back from the kiss as she bites your bottom lip. “Fuck I wanna feel you, i’m gonna grind on you baby. Wanna feel your pussy against mine” she spreads your legs as she hovers over you, grinding herself on you, the feeling of her wet folds against yours igniting a feeling inside you that you’ve never felt before. “Fuck your pussy feels so good, it’s like it was made for me” she grinds on you faster, her clit hitting yours perfectly as she glides back and forth. You’ve never scissored with anyone before, the feeling of her pussy against yours makes you feel so unbelievably dirty, you’ve never felt something as good as this.

Your eyes roll to the back of your head as she grinds faster, your legs slightly shaking as her pussy feels so good against yours. “God i’m gonna fucking cum, gonna cum on your pussy. Fuck you feel amazing, oh fuck i’m coming!” she sloppily grinds on you as both your orgasms wash over you, your body twitching as she rides out both of your highs, you are so sensitive that you can’t handle anymore. She breathes heavily as she looks down at you, your hair sticking to your forehead and your chest heaving, you’ve never looked more beautiful. She looks at you through hooded eyes and starts grinding on you again. You try to push her off as you’re unbelievably sensitive. “I can’t anymore Nat, ‘m too sensitive” she keeps grinding as she’s not far off from another orgasm. “Just one more princess, your pussy feels so fucking good against mine, fuck” both your clits were so swollen that the feeling of them hitting each other once more had you both so close to your release. “Yes yes yes, don’t stop Nat, i’m gonna cum” you were both so wet that squishing sounds could be heard in the air of the room as both your cunts rubbed together. “Oh fuck, Nat!” you scream her name as an even more powerful orgasm washes over you then the last one, your body shaking and twitching as she slumps against you, the both of you trying to catch your breath.

“That was amazing” she kisses you sloppily as she continues to lay on top of you, relishing in the warmth your body provides. You lazily run your hand up and down her back as you smile. “So not that i’m complaining, because i’m definitely not, but what brought this on?” her raspy laugh makes you shiver and she looks up at you from your chest. “I got jealous seeing you and Wanda all over each other. I know i’m not an easy person to understand but I have feelings for you and want to be with you. I didn’t want to lose my chance before it was too late” you can see the insecurity in her eyes as she gazes up at you, you know she isn’t always in touch with her feelings so for her to be vulnerable with you in this moment, means more to you then she will ever know. You smile softly at her and stroke her cheek. “I’m yours Natty, I always have been. I want to be with you and only you”

#natasha romanoff x reader #natasha x reader #natasha romanoff smut #natasha romanoff fluff #natasha romanoff #wanda maximoff x reader #natasha romanoff x you

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