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classypauli · 3 days

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𝑫𝑶𝑪𝑻𝑶𝑹’𝑺 𝑻𝑹𝑬𝑨𝑻𝑴𝑬𝑵𝑻

part 1 • part 2 • part 3

tara carpenter x fem!reader

summary: Tara’s desperation of seeing you led her to your workplace. Finally after such a long time of building the feelings you both feel completed.

tags: dumb in love, jealous and needy Tara, you are smart ass, doc y/n, mistakes, curse words /wc 2.7k

A couple of days passed and Tara couldn´t be happier. Well, she could be even more if she was with you.

Since you got her number you and her have been texting since that morning. At first, Tara felt a little embarrassed. Mindy didn´t tell her everything she did at the party, or more like she said, but Tara knew it wasn´t something she would be proud of.

She didn´t want to be seen as that type of girl in front of you, she acted awful with her drunk ass but did you blame her? She has been having her eye on you for the longest time.

Next week passed and she was looking for ways to see you in person. You talked every day when you or she had a chance, some nights you even called and talked about your day. Tara loved the sound of your voice or your laugh. It felt so relaxing and calm.

Unfortunately, you and her had a lot of work to do, Tara had school every day so she needed to study for projects and exams and you had attestations in the hospital as well as other duties, so it was hard for you to meet and go out. The girl didn´t want to bother you, you had a lot of more important stuff to do.

But that wouldn´t be Tara if she didn´t decide to do something. She was just too desperate to see you and talk to you, see your smile, hear your voice. See you looking at her and paying her attention. So she was on her way to your workplace. She didn´t tell you about it, she just wanted to surprise you.

The girl knew that you might not have time but she decided to wait for you and she will give you as much time as you need.

„Hello, I´m looking for a doctor Y/L/N.“ Damn, it felt good to say that. Tara didn´t know why, she felt somehow proud of your title.

The receptionist looked up at her. „You have an appointment?“ She asked as she kept scanning the young girl.

„Well uhm not really- I just brought her something and wanted to give it to her.“ Tara told her as she lifted her bag a little for the woman behind the tall desk to see it.

„Okay, I can make a call and ask if she doesn´t have any patients at the moment.“ The woman turned to the phone beside her and pressed some buttons. After a couple of seconds, she looked at the brunette again. „She will be here in a minute.“

Tara gave her a thankful smile. „Thank you.“ She turned around and started scanning the wall of the hospital. Today was there a lot of people and a lot of young doctors as well. You told Tara that you still study medicine and have not much left to be a full doctor. On some schedules, you worked with other doctors and sometimes was just by yourself.

Tara needed to say this profession suited you. You were friendly and soft-spoken. You got others to trust easily and everyone liked you. Your smile and how you pay close attention to every person you meet is something you win people over.

„Hey.“ Tara jumped a little and turned around to see you. „Oh! I´m so sorry.“ You laughed and took her by her shoulders. „Are you okay?“you still laughed at her reaction.

„I almost got a heart attack.“ Tara pressed her hand over her heart took a deep breath a couple of times and then looked up at you. „Please don´t do that again.“

You closed your eyes and let out a little laugh at her words. „Don´t worry, I don´t want to see you on a hospital bed anymore either.“

You were wearing the same clothes as when she saw you for the first time. All white looking professional. It doesn´t matter how many times she sees you like this, her heart jumps every time.

„I´m so happy I see you, what are you doing here?“ you said as you took her by her hand and started to walk into your room. You step inside and let her sit on the chair, helping her.

„I felt like I wanted to see you. I missed you.“ The young Carpenter said with her soft voice as if she was embarrassed. You smiled gently at her and took her slowly into your arms.

„I missed you too, so much.“ Tara´s heart jumped up and down in her chest. Your hug was so gentle yet she felt protected and warm. She put her head right under your chin to smell your perfume and feel your skin. Tara took a small step back and looked up at you.

Tara wanted to say to you everything, how much she likes you and wants you. How she thinks about you from the moment she wakes up to the moment she falls asleep. Even in her sleep, you won´t leave her mind. She dreams about you and about things you two could do together. How much Tara wants it to be real.

„I wanted to invite you to today´s dinner, well- if you have time. I mean it´s really fast and I could say it earlier but I was- I don´t know, I didn´t know what would you-“You pressed your finger at her lips to shut her.

„I will come.“ You whispered and smiled right into her eyes. Tara smiled even wider and waited for your next move. Suddenly the door opened and the blond girl walked in. She was wearing exactly what you were wearing so Tara knew she must be your colleague. You gently pull away from her to look at the girl who just walked in.

„Y/N I wanted- Oh, I see you have a visit.“ She said as she kept scanning Tara. The brunette got a weird feeling from her. She doesn´t feel as trustworthy as you did when you met.

„It´s fine Belle, what did you need?“

„I wanted to ask you about this one patient, can you come to my office real quick?“ Tara knew that look. She knew it very well, she saw this look when she walked around some of the girls in the school, she saw this look when she said hi to her friend and then noticed his girl was shooting her daggers. She saw this look when she used to look at one of her ex-friends.

„Is it important? I have here something going on and-“

„It is.“

She was jealous because she has a feelings for you and Tara didn´t even have to know her for long. It was how her eyes changed from when she looked at you and back at Tara. She definitely won’t let this someone have you. You, who she wanted for such a long time and chased since day one.

You sighed and looked back at Tara. You smiled softly at her and brought her back to the hug. „Text me the time.“

Tara needed to use her woman´s weapons, now was her time to show that Belle who you belonged to.

As you started to pull away Tara kissed your cheek, really close to your lips. „I will.“ She smiled. „Have a great rest of the day babe. See you later.“ And then Tara turned around and walked away without looking at the blonde girl.

You stood there still as if you were scalded by dead water. What did she say? Did she just call you babe? It took you way too long to come back to reality with your red face and non-stopping beating heart. You smirked a little.

She was jealous.

Tara was running around her apartment preparing everything to be ready for you. The girl was excited and the same time nervous. She was afraid that she crossed the line in the hospital and she embarrassed herself. What if you didn´t even like her like she does?

Sam is at work today but she knows that Tara has invited you over. The younger Carpenter talked to her at first about it, if it was a good idea, and if she didn´t have a problem with that. Sam was a little sceptical about it at first, she saw you two times but she heard about you a thousand times.

Her older sister knew she liked you, a lot. When Tara was upset or tired from school Sam just had to ask something about you like if you talked today and Tara was instantly smiling.

So she agreed to it. Danny was right there if anything happened and she always had her phone by her side. Maybe this was finally some progress, even Sam knew it wasn´t healthy how much careful they were. Tara barely used to have some new friends because her sister refused to let her talk to anyone or go to parties and socialize.

Tara´s worries were cut off by the knocking on the door. You came right on time. The brunette took a glance at the kitchen and the living room if was everything clean. Then she ran into the hallway and looked at herself in the mirror.

She was wearing s simple dress and her hair was down. She didn´t know if she should put on some makeup or not, she didn´t want it to look like she was trying so hard to impress you. Tara wanted to impress you but not by force.

After a deep breath, she opened the door and was met with you. Tara scanned your body with her eyes shamelessly looking at every part of it. You stood there with a simple white button-up shirt and black pants. She could see that your hair was also done. Your hair looked always beautiful but today even it was even more.

You smiled at her gently with your adorable eyes. One of your hands was behind your back hiding something from the girl. „Hey.“ You whispered to her.

„Hi.“ She was stuck still looking at you. That was the problem most of the time when she was with you. Her brain just couldn´t work at all, like it was stuck and couldn´t think properly.

„Uhm you look really beautiful.“ You said and took a glance at her body still standing in the hallway in front of the apartment, nervously stepping from one leg to another.

„Thank you- oh! C-Come in!“ she opened the door wider for you, mentally slapping herself for being so stupid.

„This is for you.“ You brought the hand from behind your back to her. You were holding a bouquet of big red roses. Tara´s eyes widen at the scene. This was the first time someone gave her flowers, she wasn´t counting the times in the hospital. Not on her birthday, graduation from high school, or any time. She softly took them from your hand with a gentle brush on her hand across yours.

„Thank you so much Y/N.“ she smiled and bore her face tightly into your chest with one of her arms around you, the other holding flowers.

After that, you both went to eat in the kitchen. You asked about Sam and how she was as well as Tara´s friends. The both of you had a great time with each other, always smiling and laughing. You must admin Tara is great in the kitchen, the meal she prepared was amazing. It made you wonder if there was something she wasn´t great at. You were sitting opposite each other between your lighted candles.

The vibe of the room was cozy. The only lights were from the candle on the table and a couple of soft lights around you. The soft instrumental music was playing in the distance.

„I love your wallpaper by the way.“ You said with a teasing smile. Tara put her head into her hands trying to hide her red face. Of course, you brought that up. „You know I hate that photo? At least you could pick some nicer.“ You continued as you picked another piece of meat on the fork.

Tara didn´t know how to answer, it was too embarrassing and it was all Mindy to blame. She was the one who put that photo cropped it and put it as wallpaper. Well, okay Tara could change it... but she didn´t want to.

„To be clear, Mindy was the one that put it there.“ Tara picked up her hands in a swearing motion. You lifted your eyebrows at that.

„How did Mindy find me? We met at the party.“ You smiled at her again waiting for her answer.

You were pulling Tara´s strings and you were good. „Okay okay, can we change the topic please?“ you threw your head back with a laugh and closed your eyes. How Tara loved this habit of yours.

„When did you know you wanted to take this path in your life? I mean the medicine stuff.“ Tara asked with curious eyes before she continued to eat.

„Well, my grandpa´s a neurologist and it interested me from my childhood I guess. Even if I didn´t understand that the clean and white work always fascinated me.“ Tara nodded at your answer, paying close attention to every word that left your lips.

„At first I didn´t know if I had it in me but as I was growing and learning and working on myself I got accepted into university and after some time here I am.“

„What do you wanna do?“ Tara asked again looking at you with a glass of red vine in her hand.

„Uhm I think I want to be a neurologist also. I still have some time left to change it but I guess this has been with me since day one.“ you shrugged your shoulders and sent her a tight-lipped smile.

Tara leaned a little closer to you over the table, looking into your eyes. „I just want you to know that whatever path you choose I´m sure you´re gonna be amazing in it.“

You felt like someone just spilled the hot water inside of your chest. Tara´s words took you by the heart. You smiled back and thanked her. After dinner and wine, you went to the living room to watch something and just talk. Not after a long time it was already so late. You both even forgot to look at the time when you were together, you loved to spend time with each other.

„I think I should go, it´s late.“ You stood up from the couch, Tara was now looking up at you. She didn´t want you to go but would it be okay if she asked you to stay over? Wouldn´t it be weird? Fuck it, besides Tara felt like she still missed something from this night.

„You can stay over?“ she stood up and took you by your hands, they were warm after the red vine. The girl saw as you wanted to shake your head at her idea but before you could make the move she tightened her grip on your hands. „Please.“

You sighed and nodded with your head a little. The girl in front of you smiled widely and put her arms around your neck. „Thank you.“ You looked down at her big brown eyes. She kept looking as if she was waiting for you to move.

Your chest started to rise faster and the air was harder to take into your lungs. You put your hands around her waist and her smile got only wider. This was Tara Carpenter´s effect. You kept looking around, her nose, her freckles, her eyebrows, hair that was resting on her forehead, eyes, and lastly lips. Was this the right moment? Is this it?

You took a deep breath as you felt Tara´s hands gently bringing you down to her face. You then pressed your lips into her own. It was like a puzzle, like two missing pieces. You felt like your chest was about to explode but at the same time… you felt peace.

Tara pushed herself back a little looked into your eyes and pressed her lips against yours again. Her hands were now around your face, by your ears, playing with your hair. Your arms only tightened around her waist and grabbed her a little more. At that moment, the girl opened her mouth a little with surprise. On which you took a chance and brought your tongue into her mouth.

In slow motion, you picked Tara and put her on the couch with you on top of her. Your breaths were fast and your chests were rising against one another. Tara´s hand was now on your collar trying to undo your buttons. Just then you realized what was going on.

„Tara-“ you tried to say but her mouth was now on your neck, nibbling the soft skin. You could barely form the words from the passion you both built. And you completely understand, the both of you were so drunk from the feeling for each other, you aren´t stupid. You saw the way Tara was looking at you, her eyes were so expressionate and unique. Her smile when you held eye contact or her electric touch when she brushed her soft skin against yours. It was mutual.

You collected all of the scenes inside of you and softly took her hands from your collar into your own. You looked down at her into her eyes slowly kissing her palms. Before you could bring the one with the scar on to your lips she made a soft fist out of her hand. You shook your head at her action and softly opened her fingers to kiss her scar.

„Don´t hide it please.“ You whispered. You then pushed yourself up from your position to sit on your knees above her. Tara was right under your body with her legs around your hips, her hair was all around the place and one of the straps of her dress fell. She looked mesmerizing like this. The girl smiled at you and pulled her arms around your neck to kiss you.

That kiss was not as aggressive and needy as before. This was soft and enjoyable. She slowly pushed away with your noses still touching. „Fucking finally.“ You just laughed at her words and kissed her cheek three times.

After that, you went into her room and got changed. You were up for a long time not feeling like going to sleep. You were giggling, hugging and cuddling then kissing and it went like a carousel.

„You were jealous today.“ You said as you were running your fingers through her long dark hair. She was quiet for a moment, ignoring your question. „Hm?“

„No.“

„No? So you don´t wanna know what Belle wanted from me?“

She looked up at you from your chest squinting her eyes at you. „What did Belle want?“ she said with a little change of voice at her name. You threw your head back with a laugh. „Stop. Laughing.“ She punched your chest slightly after each word. „This isn´t funny. What did she want?“

„Nothing actually, just what she said. About one of our patients.“ Tara kept looking into your eyes trying to find out if you were telling the truth. „I swear!“

„M´kay... but I still don´t believe her.“ The brunette laid her head back down.

„Why?“ you were confused by it. She just met her today for the first time. What was it about your colleague that she didn´t like?

Tara mumbed gently into your chest. „She likes you. I can see it.“

„Tara, even if it was true I wouldn´t like her back.“ She looked up again and supported her chin on your sternum. „So please, don´t think something else about it, okay?“ you said before you kissed her forehead.

„I just want you.“ Tara´s face broke into a smile as she kissed your lips. Just how much she dreamed about this. Finally.

a/n: Hello! I really want to apologize for the long waiting for this chapter. I’m not sure if I’m satisfied with this part but I’m happy that I’ll at least have heart on the correct side now. Those who were patient with me: big thank you <3 hahaha I hope you had a good time reading! See you next time love ya

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formulawolff · 1 day

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xiii. show the world - t.w.

pairing: female!driver x toto wolff

word count: 2.7k

warnings: cursing, angst, lots of angst to be completely honest, pining, age gap relationship, toto being down bad per usual, two idiots in love but won't admit it, yadayadayada

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“be honest with me. are you seeing someone?”

daniel brings a wine glass to his lips, tilting it back as you sit across from him, your fork clattering against the table. heat radiates off of your cheeks, flourishing into your neck as your eyes snap away from his intense stare.

˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖

the sun was starting to set over the water, casting a tangerine glow across its surface. fluffy clouds float along, the sky bursting with lavender, fuschia, and cerulean hues. yachts drifted along, their lights beginning to glimmer as the sky grew dimmer and dimmer. on your left, it was almost like the city was given its first breath of night life, locals strolling along the streets, their conversations and the growl of engines as they zoomed along the streets merely white noise.

it was truly a breathtaking view, distracting you for just a moment, taking your focus away from the conversation at hand.

yet, you remember he’s awaiting your answer, arms folded across his chest, brows knit together. scrambling to formulate some sort of response, you gnaw on the inside of your cheek, shoulders slumping.

“what if i told you i was?”

“hmm,” daniel hums, downing the rest of his wine, “then i would say good for you, i guess.”

“oh come on,” your regain your composure, frustration brewing in the pit of your stomach, “i thought we consensually agreed that we wouldn’t explore a relationship because we needed to keep things professional.”

“i did that because that’s what you wanted,” daniel swivels his head, glancing out at the water, “i never agreed to that. i only respected your wishes because that was what you wanted. i never wanted that. i wanted you.”

“but you never told me,” you protest, absentmindedly picking at your ratatouille, “that night in jeddah, i vividly remember you telling me that you never acted on your feelings because you knew that it was one-sided.”

daniel huffs, shaking his head, “i didn’t think i would’ve had to spell it out for you. i was under the impression you knew that i had feelings for you. and actually, i thought you reciprocated those same feelings. thank you for reminding me of the cold hard truth. i feel so much better about this. thanks for that.”

“you’re not being very mature about this. what happened to staying emotionally mature about the matter?”

“i was doing that until i heard from alex that you were dating someone,” daniel retorts, his tone seething with fiery anger, “you couldn’t just tell me yourself? also, how long were you going to keep that from me? were you just not going to mention it until i found out?”

“i didn’t think it was important,” you shrug, shrinking in your seat as pairs of eyes sear into you, the stares becoming more and more prominent as daniel’s voice carries throughout the patio.

“starting a relationship with someone isn’t important?”

“daniel,” you hiss, desperately wishing you were wearing a cap or some sunglasses, “people are starting to stare.”

“okay and?” he cocks his head, “i don’t give a fuck. you have no fucking idea how heartbroken i’ve been these last few weeks. i feel like my entire world has been turned upside down. meanwhile you’re frolicking around with some douchebag from st. louis. obviously the dick is must have you in a chokehold because you’ve been a completely different person.”

“daniel, please,” the notes in your tone raise an octave as your lower lip trembles, “stop, please. people are listening. can we talk about this some other time–”

“well luckily for you,” daniel inhales sharply, rising to his feet, “i don’t want to discuss it any further. i’m done here. see you around, america’s princess.”

tossing his napkin on the table, the australian snatches the keys to his rental, muttering under his breath. you remain at the table, people resuming back to their previous conversations as the waitress comes by, placing a gentle hand on your shoulder.

“is everything all right, madame?”

“i just need the check please,” you mumble, tears threatening to spill over as you reach for your purse, “i’ll pay for it all. i am so sorry about that.

“no worries madame,” the waitress chirps, “would you care for a free dessert for your troubles?”

you know what? free dessert didn’t seem too bad after all.

“oui, s’il vous plait.”

at your response, the waitress’ lips curve into a wide grin, “tu es le bienvenu.”

letting out a shaky breath, you wipe away a tear, pulling your phone out of your purse. swallowing the lump in your throat, you message the one person you needed most.

i hope things are going well on your end tonight. is there any chance you can come by my hotel room, or i swing by yours? it would be later tonight. i want my sexy, smoochable, handsome boyfriend. :’(((((

the moment you send the message, three little bubbles appear, signaling that he had received it, and was crafting a reply.

i take it the dinner didn’t go well? what happened, meine liebe? ich vermisse dich auch.

wrinkling your nose, you highlight the text, tapping the copy option. thumb gliding across the screen, you click on the google translate app, pasting it into the textbox.

what happened, my love? i miss you too.

i can explain more later. you type, are you busy?

never too busy for you. remember, we’re in monaco. i own a place here. 😘 you can just come by whenever you need. i’m at home. do you need the address?

yes please. i’ll be there as soon as possible.

i can’t wait to see your beautiful face. here’s the address. i’ll be waiting impatiently.

the second you type his address in your phone, the waitress comes by your table, a box in one hand, billfold in the other. placing the box on the table, you anticipate her to do the same with the check. yet, she doesn’t keeping it in her grasp.

“madame, your meals have been taken care. a gentleman called, inquiring if he could foot the bill. he stated he did not want you to worry about anything else this evening. is that all right?”

your heart flutters, “did he say a name, by chance?”

“no madame,” the waitress flashes you a quaint smile, “again, i am so sorry if your evening has been ruined in any sort of way. i hope the dessert helps in some fashion!”

“thank you,” you reciprocate the gesture, “and again, thank you for the dessert.”

“it is no problem,” the waitress dips her head, “have a great evening, madame!”

rising to your feet, you push in your chair, ensuring that you don’t forget the plain white box that was placed on the table. carrying it under your arm, you pull up your maps app, feeling a grin form.

maybe tonight will not end as poorly as it began.

you could thank toto wolff for that.

ever since miami, you felt as if the weight of the world was off your shoulders. the stress was alleviated, dissolving almost completely. you could go about your day without that ever-present thought in the back of your mind, gnawing away at you.

however, there were more mountains to climb. more obstacles to face.

you had yet to sit down with james, alex, or anyone else really, to discuss your decision to depart from williams at the end of the 2024 season.

toto was the only one who knew.

and for the time being, you were okay with that.

but you were running out of time. the days were soaring by. you would blink and suddenly it would be time to board that flight. it would be time to get behind the wheel, adrenaline coursing through your veins. it would be time to step on that podium, raising that gleaming trophy above your head, your team roaring below.

with four grand prixs wins, three of which were back-to-back, you were unstopabble.

a force to be reckoned with.

max tried to catch you, he really did.

but you were too fast, fueled by the thrill of victory.

it was intoxicating, sending an electric, exhilarating buzz throughout your entire being every time you breezed across that finish line.

and with a man like toto by your side, how could you possibly lose?

with the monaco grand prix on the docket for the weekend, you were preparing for a challenging race. the circuit was extremely tight, the track interweaving through the buildings and sights the city. it was an infamous track, known for its rich history and well, the accidents.

additionally, there was little to no room for overtakes. so if you wanted to be on that podium on sunday, you had to execute a stellar qualifying lap. with that added pressure, you were a little apprehensive for what was to come.

yet, you couldn’t let that anxiety creep in. you had to maintain your composure. it was crucial that you kept a calm, cool outlook on the race.

and as you found yourself at that massive gate, pressing the button to your left, you couldn’t help but feel peace of mind.

you could thank toto wolff for that as well.

with every moment spent with the team principal, you couldn’t help but shake this aching, nagging feeling.

it was a pure, innocent feeling. one that filled you to the brim with bliss, a cozy warmth blossoming in your chest, your heart swelling with joy. one that had you beaming from ear to ear, your once gloomy days now shining with this golden, rich light.

you were in love with him.

hopelessly in love, your whole heart resting in his tender hands.

you couldn’t tell him that though. you couldn’t bring yourself to.

at least, not yet.

˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖

“all right,” james’ sucks in a breath, his head swiveling from side to side, taking in the commotion all around.

“are you ready?”

“come on,” you wave a hand, “you know the drill. i was born ready.”

“i know,” the team principal’s lips twitch as he fights a smile, “but this is a pretty significant race. there’s a lot of history and heartbreak on this track.”

“are you saying that you don’t think i can win?” you tease, your voice muffled slightly by the thick exterior of the helmet, “james, i can do this. believe me, i can do this.”

“there’s a lot at stake here,” he places a hand on the top of your head, patting it, “just remember, whatever happens, i believe in you. always.”

i believe in you. always.

your lower lip trembles, and in that moment, you want to confess right there. you almost blurt out the words that had been lingering on your tongue for weeks now.

james, after this race, we need to to talk.

however, you don’t. you simply nod, drumming your hands against the steering wheel, “i’ll make you guys proud, i promise.”

“oh, you already do,” his eyes glimmer, bursting with pride, “you’ve made us so fucking proud these last few weeks. and you know what? i know you’re going to continue to make williams racing proud. i can’t wait to see what the future has in store for us.”

fuck.

that conversation was going to absolutely destroy you, splitting your heart into two.

you couldn’t think about that, though.

the race was about to start.

on the grid, you were behind charles leclerc and oscar piastri. it wasn’t terrible positioning, but with the limited space, you knew that getting ahead would be nearly impossible. it would be a miracle if you were able to cross that finish line in first place.

yet, you were more than willing to take the risks involved to get to that position.

all you needed was a little bit of luck.

which, these days, it seemed like you were full of it. like you were carrying a four leaf clover in your pocket at all times.

as rays of sunshine filter through the clouds, a gold streak of light dances in your peripheral vision.

nestled on your wrist was the charm bracelet toto had gifted you that fateful night in jeddah. the charm gleams, reminding you of two things.

one, your very first grand prix victory.

two, that he was always with you.

perhaps he was that good luck charm you were desperately searching for.

maybe. just maybe.

in about seventy-eight laps, you would have that answer.

“and she has done the impossible! she has shattered yet another record! miss america has won monaco! she has won her fifth grand prix!”

“fuck yes!” you shout, “we won! we won monaco!”

“brilliant fucking job,” james’ voice trembles, thready with excitement, “bloody good job!”

euphoria crashes over you like a tidal wave, leaving you speechless as it sucks the air out of your lungs. burying your head in your hands, your shoulders shake as you sob.

never, in your wildest dreams would you have expected to have made it this far.

never would you even imagined racing as a little girl, let alone racing at this caliber.

and winning races? five of them?

little you, cheesing with her toothy five-year-old smile, standing next to a kart, helmet under her arm, wouldn’t have ever dreamed of this moment.

you had improved miles upon miles from the driver you were last season. you made history. time and time again. you had shattered records, obliterating barriers in the world of formula one racing as a twenty-two year old woman.

and fuck, you weren’t even done yet.

you still had a world title to chase after.

“holy shit. holy shit. holy motherfucking shit.”

stepping out of the car, your heart races, your team nearly sprinting to congratulate you. picking out james, you flash him a thumbs up. the crowd raves, whooping, whistling, and hollering your newfound nickname.

“miss america! miss america! miss america!”

cameras appear out of thin air, recording as you step down, james and alex swathing you with their embrace. alex rattles your helmet, james’ grin shining bright as the cameras flash.

“what a bloody brilliant day!” james shouts, a glossy sheen over his eyes, “what a fucking day!”

“what place did you finish, alex?” your voice rises above the noise, “what did you get?”

“ninth!” he chirps, “two drivers in the top ten? that’s a pretty fucking good day!”

“a very fucking good day,” laughter rises in your chest, spilling out, “fuck, that nearly took everything out of me!”

“well you better shape up,” alex pats your back, “because you have a podium that’s calling your name.”

as the team gathers, making their way to the finish line, your heart yearns for one thing. well, one person.

toto.

pursing your lips, your eyes scan through the garages, attempting to make out the mercedes paddock. yet, there is too much movement in your line of sight as the crew members assemble, circling around their respective drivers.

the euphoria lingers as your step onto the podium, the crowd below applauding. there are shouts that rise above the clapping, yet you can barely make them out.

surveying the mass, your heart skips a beat as you locate him.

his eyes lock with yours, pure, radiant adoration painted across his features.

that’s my girl. he mouths, dimples apparent with every word.

a few strands of hair flutter in his face, the top button of his shirt un-done, the fabric slightly wrinkled from the chaos of race day.

yet, he was as gorgeous as ever.

as charles and oscar pop open the champagne, you hesitate, fingers trembling as they wrap around the neck of the bottle.

you know what?

fuck this.

“hey!” charles calls out as you step down from the platform, “where are you going?”

there’s a brief moment of confusion from the crowd, a few gasps ringing out as you shoulder your way down the stairs, muttering numerous apologies as you accidentally elbow several people along the way.

there was only one thing on your mind as you nudged your way through the throng of people gathered beneath the podium. although your skin burned beneath your suit, sweat clinging to every part of you, there was this tugging sensation at your heart. it urged you to keep going. to keep searching.

you were face-to-face now, his brow furrowing with concern, arms folded across his chest as you take another step forward.

“what are you–"

that’s when toto wolff found your lips colliding with his, the entire world crumbling away as he found himself lost in you.

˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖

taglist: @k3ira13 @prettiest-at-the-party @martwll @annewithaneofthegreengable @zoeyjadetice2010 @sinners-98-world @laura-naruto-fan1998 @nebarious @joalslibrary @swifth0lic @statuewoman @strangegirl974 @thatgirlthatreadswattpad @m-1234 @whoisss @msbyjackal @annaaepf1 @paigelouise @bborra @bblouifford @upsteadsstuff @omgsuperstarg @younxii @toldyouitwasamelodrama @kravitzwhore @persona1lies @pucksandpower

as always, if i forgot to add you, or if you would like to be added to the taglist, let me know! thank you all for the endless support and love for this series! y'all are the sweetest! <3

#toto wolff #toto wolff x reader #formula 1 #f1 #formula one #alkaline series #alkaline: female driver! x toto wolff #formula one x reader #f1 x reader #formula one x y/n #formula one x you #formula 1 x reader #williams racing #mercedes amg petronas #alex albon #charles leclerc #daniel ricciardo #oscar piastri

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writtenbymoonflower · 1 day

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Could I request a poly!marauders comforting a close friend(possibly someone they have feelings for but she was dating someone else.) Just broke up with my boyfriend tonight; he wasn't honest about something vitally important and things just weren't work out out before he even came clean and I feel sick and just need comfort. Please and thank you.

hi baby! i'm so sorry about your breakup. i know there's nothing i can say to make it easier, but i hope this helps. please take it easy on yourself, and my dms are open if you need anything <3 poly!marauders x fem!reader (romantic if you squint)

cw: mentions of drinking, breakups, swearing

880 words

In your defense, when you had initially made the call you didn’t expect all this fuss. Your intention was to kindly let your friends know that you didn’t feel up to going out that night due to your unexpected heartbreak. If you had known that your call would result in two bottles of rose, a gallon of moose-tracks frozen custard, and three borderline sickeningly benevolent boys infiltrating your house, you probably would’ve gone with a vague text. Even so, you couldn’t deny that deep down, you were grateful.

However, sobbing into the sleeves of your borrowed sweater, with a Disney movie playing in the background while you were periodically fed bites of ice cream and sips of wine was a level of vulnerability you did not expect to reach with your friends.

Every time you thought your sobs had subsided, another wave welled up inside you. You sniffled miserably, pinching your irritated nose clean. Your hands were batted away.

“Gentle, sweetheart. Your poor face is already rubbed raw.” James kindly scolded you. You nodded, the movement making you feel more lightheaded than before. You were handed a glass of water, not the wine you were hoping for but you still took it. After taking a few sips you set it down, feeling the tears welling into your eyes again. Remus tugged you into his side, letting you nuzzle your face into his soft sweater.

“Babe, I’m not sure that prick is worth this amount of tears.” Sirius’ tone was sweet, if not a little venomous. He was still cuffed on the back of the head by Remus.

“Tact, pads. Have some tact.” Remus huffed, pressing a kiss to the top of your head. “Cry as much as you need to, dove.”

Strangely, now your tears had stopped. You sat up, though Remus still held onto you.

“You wanna talk, now lovely girl? Or do you want to be distracted?” James held you from your other side, brushing your damp hair out of your face.

“I don’t think I have coherent thoughts right now.” You tried to joke but your tone just came out pitiful.

“That’s okay.” Remus said, thoughtfully. “Just say what's going through your head. This is for you, dovey. It doesn’t have to make perfect sense to us, we just want to be here for you.”

You nodded, more gently this time, and took a deep breath. “I’m just-” The lump was still in your throat, making it hard to get the words out. “I’m just so hurt, you know? Like I gave everything. I gave fucking everything to this. To him. And I guess I just thought that he would do the same. And I- I’m just so fucking stupid, because I never expected he would do something like this.” Your face screwed up like you were in pain and you fell back into Remus’ chest, silent sobs shaking your body.

“Oh, baby.” Sirius placed a hand on your leg, rubbing his thumb back-and-forth. They let you cry for the nth time that night, never rushing or scolding you. When your cries slowed again, Sirius spoke up. “I know it hurts, dollface. I know. And I know there is nothing we can say to make it go away.” There was hurt in his voice as he said that. Sirius despised feeling helpless. And emotions were one of the things that made him feel that way the most. He always thought he was shit at comforting people, but in reality, he’s far better than he gives himself credit for.

“Can you look at me, sweet girl?” James leaned over to catch your eyes. You let him. “Listen to me, what he chose to do says nothing, and I mean nothing about you, okay? You are not stupid, or anything of the sort. It says everything about him, that he knew he had your trust and chose to not be deserving of it. Just because he didn’t love you right, doesn’t mean that you were wrong for loving him anyway. So please, don’t ever for a moment, let his bad decisions affect how you see yourself, precious thing.”

His words made you cry all over again, but it was different this time. James pulled you into his lap, cradling you like a baby in his arms.

“Look at what you’ve done, prongs. You’ve broken her all over again.” Sirius said incredulously. For the first time that night, you laughed. It was wet and choked, but it still felt good.

“There you go.” Remus squeezed your calf. “Didn’t quite like seeing you like that.” You nodded.

“I don’t quite like being like that.” You half-laughed. James squeezed you again.

“But if you need to be, we’re here for you, yeah?” Sirius poured you more wine. The other two boys let out loud affirmatives.

“Thank you guys, really. I think I needed this.” You hoped the way you were looking at them showed how grateful you really were.

“Anytime, lovie.” James kissed your cheek. “Now, I think we need a movie yeah? Something silly. Like Sausage Party. Or one of those shitty horror movies that only scares Sirius.” He grinned cheekily.

“Oi! Those are really fucking scary!” Sirius squawked. You rolled your eyes, filled to the brim with affection.

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ketaundkrawall · 15 hours

Text

Backstage ☽｡⋆ Joost Klein

Summary: Joost fucks you backstage.

Warnings: smut (18+!!), pwp (like literally), unprotected piv, oral (m!receiving), chocking, teasing (😈), softdom!Joost, gf!reader, sex in a backstage area, praise kink (blink and you’ll miss it), horny idiots and I hope that’s it, no use of Y/N, afab!reader

WC: 969ish

A/N: so this one is based on this request I got few days ago! Thank you for the req Nonnie :3!! I hope it lives up to what you imagined 🥹 and reqs are always open for you all my people ✨

18+ under the cut!

The air was heavy and warm, your skin layered with a coat of sweat as Joost pressed you against the wall of the backstage area. The concrete cooling your skin down as his hands roamed all over your body. Teeth clashing and heavy breathing the only audible sound in the small room. The soft tips of his fingers drawing circles on your hips, pulling you even closer to him.

Turning his head away and he looked you deep in the eyes. Oh those beautiful eyes. “I need you now.” He said, desperation coating his words.

An equally needy sound leaving your lips as he took your hand and pressed it firmly against his crotch, showing you just how much he needed you right now.

Your hands were quick to find his belt, opening it while falling on your knees in the process. Hooking your fingers through the loops of his jeans you pulled them down along with his boxers, freeing his throbbing erection. Your mouth watering at the sight in front of you.

Feeling a hand around your chin Joost made you look up at him. His hair was all messy, his cheeks flushed and eyes dark with lust. Definitely a sight for sore eyes. “Open your mouth for me.” He said, brushing his thumb over your lower lip.

Not breaking eye contact you opened your mouth, watching his every move, as he pushed his thumb into it. Closing your lips around it you twirled your tongue around his thumb, sucking slightly on it which earned you a deep moan from him.

Soon the finger was replaced with his dick. Watching you move your head and working his length into your mouth, Joost closed his eyes. Enjoying the feeling of the wet and warmth of it. He always loved when you got on your knees for him. As he looked down he could’ve come there and then. Your eyes were closed as your pretty little mouth swallowed him whole.

Feeling the familiar warmth spread across his lower abdomen he was quick to pull you off him, earning a whine from you. “Hey!”

Grabbing your arm he pulled you up and pushed towards a table that was standing in the middle of the room.

Your brain couldn’t really comprehend what happened next. Joost swiftly and in one motion emptied the table with one arm. Bottles and plastic cups clashing onto the floor making a mess. Bending you over he pulled your skirt up your hips.

Biting your lip to keep you from moaning his thumb brushed against the wet fabric of your tiny thong you decided to wear. “Are you gonna fuck me now or what?” You sneakily remarked, gaining you another slap on your ass, harder this time.

“Definitely will baby. Definitely will.” He mumbled. Pushing it down your legs, you shivered as the air hit your wet and dripping cunt. The feeling of Joosts fingers sliding up and down your wet slit made you hold onto the table harder. Knuckles turning white.

Grinning to himself he watched you writhe beneath him. Deciding not to tease you more, he wrapped his slick coated fingers around his dick, giving it a few strokes before teasing your entrance with the tip.

Whimpering you tried to push back for some friction. “Ah-ah.” Joost chuckled.

Another whine and god he loved when you let out those little noises, blood rushing straight to his cock.

Snapping his hips forward you practically screamed his name out of pleasure. His hips now flush against your ass. “P-please.” Your desperation was music to his ears. “Fuck me Joost.” And that was all he needed to hear. He grabbed you by your neck, pressing the side of your face against the table, fucking into you like a mad man.

Skin slapping against skin and shallow breaths filling the quiet room. “So good for me.” He moaned. “Taking my cock so well Schat (Baby). Feeling so perfect around me.”

You tried to say something but your brain was fogged. Only filled with cock and the feeling of his hand around your neck, chocking you oh so nicely.

It didn’t take long for the both of you to come closer to the edge. Joost could feel your pussy tighten around his cock, indicating him that you were close so he put two fingers on your clit rubbing it in tight circles. “Come on, I know you’re close.” He breathed out, feeling his own release building up in the pit of his stomach. “Cum on my cock baby.”

And with that you couldn’t hold back anymore. Your mind went blank as your orgasm washed over you, knees buckling. You were sure if Joost didn’t hold you up by your hips you’d fall right over.

Feeling you tighten around him his hips stuttered before stopping completely and emptying himself deep inside you.

It takes you a moment to come down to planet earth. Pulling out of you, you could feel a kiss being pressed to the back of your head. Feeling too fucked to get up, you just stayed in your place, hearing your boyfriend getting dressed again. The loss of contact making you whine softly.

Looking around the dressing room, Joost picked up a cloth to clean you up, being very gentle and soft. “Thank you.” He said, pulling your panties back and your skirt down before helping you stand back on your wobbly legs.

You chuckled. “No need to thank me next time just warn me before attacking me like a horny teen.” Leaning closer you pressed a kiss against his lips. “Let’s get back out there. Bet everyone’s wondering where you are.” And with that you both walked back out the room and right back into the crowded hall of the club Joost had just performed in minutes ago.

A/N: Hope you enjoyed this little cutie and feel free to ask/request anything!!

#joost klein #joost klein x reader #joost x reader #joost klein x you #joost klein smut #joost klein imagine #stand with joost #joostice #12 points to the netherlands

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doyoulikethissong-poll · 2 days

Text

Commonly asked questions

How do I submit songs? Submissions are currently closed. When it opens up again, I'll post a message here stating rules and which specific info I require. If you don't supply that info along with the song, your message will be deleted.

I submitted a song when we were allowed. When will it appear? :) There's waaay over two thousand songs in my askbox. 😅 And I'm very slow at posting submitted songs because it takes an oddly more amount of time and energy than you'd think, that's why it's easier for me to go with the songs I already have. Please have a bit more patience, hopefully it'll be posted soon enough! 💖

I don't like the genres posted recently. 🤷‍♀️ I mean, you can tell me what genres there's a lack of and I'll try put more effort into adding more of them.

I don't like the poll options. 🤷‍♀️

Will there be an "Indifferent" option? No. People bitched and very rudely demanded it when the blog was new and it left a very sour taste. Also we're 250+ songs in, it's kinda meh to add it now, but I definitely understand why you want it because some songs are really hard to define if you feel anything at all about them. (also you know people would just click indifferent to see the results instead of listening to the song lol) If I were to ever add more options, it would be love/hate.

How do I vote on a song if I feel indifferent about it? Indifferent = don't like it ig. 🤷‍♀️ Remember, I'm not asking you if you LOVE!!!!!! the song, or if you want to buy it. Liking can be as good as only a "meh, it's ok / decent enough to run in the background". Disliking can be being indifferent instead of outright hating it, when it's so neutral to you that it doesn't give you any positive feelings. It is only a minute long clip that I'm asking you to form an opinion about after all; you can change your mind either way when you hear the full version. Sometimes songs have to grow on you!

How do you pick the songs used in the polls? Mostly like this:

I have a huge mp3 hoarding archive so the submitted songs are easier for me to pick if they're already in my possession. 😅 Songs that aren't in my collection (tagged as #new to admin :D lol. sometimes i search out songs specifically for the poll that are tagged this as well) requires a bit more effort to download/listen to/edit but i have discovered a couple of great new gems so don't think i don't appreciate them!

How do I search for a specific artist/song that you've posted? All artists are tagged a day or so after the song reveal. Don't forget to use the hashtag symbol when searching or tumblr will give you all sorts of odd results!!!! (or none at all, lol) Please also remember that tumblr finds simple easy tasks extremely difficult, so only search for an artist with the easiest type of spelling, like #beyonce instead of #beyoncé. All artists and songs are added to the Complete Song List once their showdown poll is finished, for a quick search of what's been posted.

The audio quality is too poor for my taste!! 😡 sad </3

This is just for you. 💖

Why are all the songs of such vast variating quality? ....i mean, you didn't think I've bought all the tens of thousands of songs in my music library, did you...? Pirating songs gives you variations of quality, hell even my own cd rips have variations. It's easier to get better quality files now than it was back in the days, kiddos, so yeah some songs in the archives needs to be updated with new files. I have some very ancient mp3's that are in really low sound, that i've instead downloaded newer versions of in better quality for the polls but y'all still give me shit about it because the artist have remastered the track to unrecognition or whatever so there's just no pleasing some people i guess lmao. 😂

Do you like all the songs you've posted? No, lol. All the songs that are in my archive are songs I've at least liked enough once upon a time to save them, even if I'm not actively listening to them much anymore. Everything tagged as #new to admin :D are new songs to me that I may or may not like, regardless if they're submitted or if I've scouted them out myself only for the polls. :) Songs that I hate so much that I can't stand them are very few, and I won't waste time on adding them!

Did you change the song in the poll?? No. Maybe you clicked on the wrong one if I posted them too close together or maybe (most likely) tumblr has screwed something up for you. Some songs don't even show at times because it's tumblr being tumblr, just wait it out for a few minutes and tumblr will eventually remember to play the audio. So far there's only one song that I had to re-upload because tumblr killed the file. I can change the clip to better audio or to another part of the same song, but I never replace it to a different one once it's out there for you to vote on, I don't see the point of doing that.

Why are some polls audio files and other video files? Again: tumblr being tumblr. They won't allow some songs to be uploaded as audio, but using them in videos is ok. I hate the audio-as-video format and it requires even more effort from me so I'm not doing it on purpose. :)

I don't remember if I've heard this song before or not. If you know you've heard it, like if you're a fan or a hater or the song has been constantly played on the radio, you know it. (this is why the phrasing has been changed again in the latest polls) If you don't remember it, or just vaguely, or just a specific tiny part used in a meme/tiktok video, choose first time. The only thing that matters is the yes or no, knowing it or not is just an added fun but don't take it too seriously. :) Look at it sort of like "old fan/casual listener/hater vs new listener".

The part of the song that you posted SUCKS!!!! You should have just posted this one specific famous part for people to vote yes! "don't post the actual song in this song poll" ...................................like, no. not gonna post just the meme-bits or the drops or the whatever. Yeah i saw all the comments how you all clicked dislike on "Out of Touch" because you voted before you got to the chorus 😂 That's an honest opinion about the song lol, because a song is more than just a catchy chorus or a big drop. But yeah, sometimes one verse of a song would've maybe been better to post instead of that other verse, I'm with you on that.

I queued this song to see what it is but it's still stated as being Anonymous for me! Reblogs, drafts and queues will only show you what's there at the time, like a screenshot. It won't update automatically. All your reblogs, drafts and queued posts from when the poll is active will only show up as Anonymous songs. Always go back to the original post to see the song reveal. If the info isn't there, then give me a day or two to update the post because most likely things are too busy irl. 💖

I voted wrong/voted before I recognized the song! Will you change my vote? No, I'm not recounting anything wth. 😅

I'm embarrassed. I like the song but I don't want others to know that I do. I promise you that nobody but you can see how you've voted. Not me or your mutuals. Only you see what you've voted on. It's ok to like bad songs, and it's ok to like good songs by bad people. Don't let others shame you for that.

How do I vote on this cover/remix that was posted instead of the original? If you feel like this version is close to the original that you like, vote yes. If you don't feel like this version does the original song justice, vote no, even if it hurts.

This song that I don't know samples another song that I do know. How do I vote? I don't consider samples being used as being the same song, so pick first time. Unlike covers/remixes, the original song that has been sampled might show up at a later time, if it hasn't already been on here before.

How does so many people not know this song!!? Everyone is not your age/not from your country and your experience is not universal. 🤷‍♀️ That being said, I too get wtf-moments sometimes because some songs really do get wacky results, so, yeah 😂

Have you ever thought about-- Yes.

I demand you give me a rickroll!!!!!! Ask things nicely instead of demanding things from me. (This is the most common demand I've gotten, sigh. Thanks to those of you who have at least asked nicely and/or with a sense of humour!)

Please do a rickroll? It's already been posted in a bonus poll. It might show up in a "real" poll in years from now if this poll blog is still active but as of now it was added to a tumblr meme post where it was better suited.

I'm gonna ignore that submissions are closed and send you song suggestions anyway!!!! They will be deleted because they're not asked for atm. Unless you're the artist. Exceptions can be made in that case. :)

This poll blog doesn't respect my requirement to know who the artists are before I listen to their songs because of my need - that is very important that everyone else needs to acknowledge and follow - to know if a person is of a good moral standing according to my own views!! 😡 There's other poll blogs better suited for you. Not everything online has to be adjusted to fit *your* particular needs. 🤷‍♀️ (YES i've actually gotten this demand way too often. Sigh.)

Why was my reblog hidden from the notes where I spew hatred over an artist?! You are censoring me!!!! Did you mention the artist by name, or other obvious spoilers? Don't post spoilers. 🤷‍♀️

You hid this other comment I made with no spoilers!!!!! Sometimes comments show in dashboard mode but not in app mode and vice versa, or not even in the notifications. Haven't we already established that tumblr finds easy stuff extremely difficult? Also, sometimes you and I don't share an opinion of what a spoiler means. To all of you who have claimed an artist's name isn't a spoiler, yeah it's kind of a big one. As for the artist mentioning their own name or the song title in the song, you only hear that once you listen to the clip. Knowing it before even clicking to play the music is a spoiler.

Why have you turned off replies? I want to say things without reblogging!! I mean 🤷‍♀️ I'm sure you know why. Replies and anons have been turned off from the very beginning. The few times replies actually have been turned on, it's been stated as such and been very temporarily, like when we've discussed music in some post.

Turn on anon!!! I'm to shy to say thing off-anon! I mostly reply to things privately, or this blog would be nothing but q&a. Anons are off for a reason. Abuse and death threats are to be associated with the sender's account for all to see. I'm always nice to nice people so there's no need to worry about sending me questions or tagging me in things. :) 💖

I demand you to-- Pay me. :)

Shut up and take the abuse thrown at you personally because you're just a poll blog! You are aware that the poll blogs on tumblr aren't actually run by bots, right? Don't be an obnoxious twat. (and ughh yes, this too has been said to me several times. Sigh.)

I want you to add this song I want RIGHT NOW and/or i WANT these other options added now! Rich people can always break all the rules, just like irl. Just give me the $$$$ 😘

I don't like this song because I don't understand the language. Please only post English songs. Ok well, I mean, you can always learn other languages. 🤷‍♀️ Just like how I learned English.

If anyone feels targeted by these last questions without me meaning to, I'm sorry. These actually are the most common questions and comments and demands I've gotten in my askbox. Especially when the blog was new and people Demanded Their Rights to have me adjust everything to suit them. Don't feel like you can't state your thoughts in reblogs or in messages because as long as you're not being rude to me, my attitude on some answers isn't targeted at you, only at them. 💖 Remember to just have fun with the polls and hopefully you and/or your mutuals discover new music!

#qna

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cursedvida · 3 days

Note

It's really crazy to me to see the hate Mae gets, like I was reading some reviews and I can understand not liking a character but as soon as they start with the name calling their opinion is invalid to me because they have no reason to be calling her a bitch, among other things, like it just reeks of mysogyny, (it's like they just want an excuse to call women names) and seeing it coming from other girls makes it worse like..

"Oh the girl was such a bitch why did she do that 🙄" ..is it really that hard to think for a moment about the circumstances in which mae was raised?? Do they need it spell it out for them?? Like, c'mon guys do you really think that the people trapped in a bunker for generations have anything nice to teach/say about the apes?? Wes Ball please give us Mae's backstory in the sequel!! Your audience needs it bc they are out there calling Mae the real villain and saying Proximus was right 💀 (when he was literally everything Caesar hated in an ape)

Look, I'm usually a polite person when expressing my opinions, but I'm fed up with the hate towards Mae, basically because the arguments people give seem incredibly basic to me, typical of people with little to no understanding. Sometimes I doubt if these people have watched the same movie as me or maybe they have some sort of cognitive dissonance, but seriously, I find them ridiculous. Either that, or they are basically the typical comments from misogynistic guys or women with internalized misogyny who can't stand morally gray and questionable female characters.

And well, having said that, I'm going to present my doctoral thesis on this topic:

One of the things I've seen the most is people saying that Mae is evil, the true villain, or an ungrateful traitor to Noa. This argument seems quite incomprehensible to me because, even though we don't have much data about her, I believe there's something very important that explains why she acts as she does: the Proximus apes killed the people in her group, including her mother. I mean: her damn mother. If we add to that the UNDERSTANDING (I mean, you have to be very short-minded not to assume something so obvious) that she has been raised in an environment where they've probably told her all her life that the apes are the reason for all the evils of humanity and the main reason why humans live in shitty conditions, I think anyone with half a brain has enough information to understand why she does what she does.

Yes, Noa is a good guy, but he's not helping her. Noa and Mae have a common goal and decide to ally themselves momentarily to achieve that goal, which is to reach Proximus. As much as they've formed a bond throughout the story, it's not yet strong enough for Mae to set aside what she has worked for so hard. Mae not only bears the weight of humanity on her shoulders but also emotionally carries the idea that she, as the sole survivor of her group, must complete the mission at all costs. Are those who criticize her telling me that if they truly thought that with certain actions they could not only save their species but also honor their loved ones who have been killed infront their eyes, they wouldn't do them? And that they wouldn't do them for someone they've just met, no matter how much they like them? That's just not realistic, it makes no sense. We would all do the same as Mae in her situation. I mean, I have no doubts.

Another thing I love is when they say she's the "true villain" as if it weren't clear enough that she feels bad every time since she forms a bond with Raka and Noa when she does something that she knows may harm them. She feels pain for Raka's death and clearly, you can also see the conflict and remorse when she detonates the bomb. It's not something she enjoys doing, but she HAS to do it. In the final scene, even though she's carrying a gun, you can also clearly see her in conflict with herself. Clearly, she doesn't want to kill him. Clearly, she has nothing against Noa, and this is evident when she finally accepts the necklace and they even shake hands. You can't tell me that's the attitude of a villain, narratively it's not presented as such, and seeing it that way is to have understood nothing.

Mae is a complex character whose life is based on survival, she's no different from the characters we're used to loving and idolizing in other post-apocalyptic series, the difference here for me is that she's human and humans have to be bad by default and also that she's a woman. Because female characters always have to be the support, the romantic interest, or the unconditional friends of heroic male characters, and Mae is none of that. Mae is a character with her own story and ambitions that go beyond Noa's plot. Mae has her own plot, and it seems that's something that bothers people a lot.

I'm sorry, but the hate towards Mae seems very similar to the one people had for Sansa Stark in Game of Thrones, which basically stemmed from people being misogynistic and hating complex and imperfect female characters, combined with how much they hate seeing protagonist characters with such human and real characteristics that they can't bear the idea of seeing themselves reflected in them.

But hey, for Sansa Stark, I would have killed, and now for Mae too. Mae haters basically DNI

#i’ve been very intense #but sorry i’m such a scorpio with a scorpio’s classic rage #i would kill for her #mar my bb #kingdom of the planet of the apes #planet of the apes #kotpota #kotpota mae #kotpota noa #mae #freya allan

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darkficsyouneveraskedfor · 1 day

Text

End Game 3

No tag lists. Do not send asks or DMs about updates. Review my pinned post for guidelines, masterlist, etc.

Warnings: this fic will include dark content such as noncon/dubcon, age gap, stalking, and possible untagged elements. My warnings are not exhaustive, enter at your own risk.

This is a dark!fic and explicit. 18+ only. Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.

Summary: Your gaming buddy asks to meet up but it doesn’t go exactly as planned.

Characters: Andy Barber

Note: and so it continues.

As per usual, I humbly request your thoughts! Reblogs are always appreciated and welcomed, not only do I see them easier but it lets other people see my work. I will do my best to answer all I can. I’m trying to get better at keeping up so thanks everyone for staying with me.

Your feedback will help in this and future works (and WiPs, I haven’t forgotten those!) Please do not just put ‘more’. I will block you.

I love you all immensely. Take care. 💖

When you find Kara, she’s at the front of the line. You wait impatiently on the other side of the rope as she gabs up a storm with the D-lister on the other side of the table. Restless, throat sour with bile, you pace in a small line, flicking your thumb as you resist the urge to tell her to hurry up.

You need to get out of there. You can barely think. You can’t even stay still as heat scalds and speckles over your scalp and down your body.

You turn on your heel and your feet tangle as you stop short. Andy stands just on the other side of the line, staring at you. Oh shit.

You rush over to Kara and snap her tank top strap, “hey, there’s other people waiting.”

“One second!” She squeals carelessly over her shoulder, quickly returning to fawning over the washed-up sci-fi actor.

You sigh and cross your arms, rocking back and forth, “Kara, I really don’t feel good.”

She huffs and chirps crisply, excusing herself from the table. Several others send her a dirty look for spending so much time chattering as they wait eagerly in the wings. She steps around the post to the other side of the rope.

“Let me guess, too much sugar?” She scoffs.

“Something like that,” you grumble. “Look, it’s like five. We’ve been here for a couple hours. I’m chill getting out of here.”

“Already?” She lifts a brow, “we haven’t even got you a plushie.”

“I should save my money,” you keep your arms folded around you.

She eyes you up and down, “are you okay?”

“Y-yeah, it’s like you said, too much sugar. I should’ve eaten breakfast. Or lunch.”

She gives you a skeptical squint and shrugs, “alright, whatever. We can go hang at mine.”

“Great, sorry,” you mope, “I just... I’m tired.”

“It’s fine,” she assures you, “I get it. This place can be a bit much and the BO is starting to get to me.” She struts ahead of you and you catch up to her. She marvels at the signed photo in her hand, “at least I got something cool.”

“Yeah, that’s awesome. You gonna hang it up?” You ask, trying to distract yourself.

“Mm, maybe.”

You glance over your shoulder. Andy’s closer, looming, hands in his pocket, eyes set on you. What is he doing? You grab her arm and hurry her towards the exit.

“Woah, what’s up?” She trips in her wedged sandals.

“I just need some fresh air. Like you said, it stinks in here.”

As you finally get through the front doors, your phone is shaking incessantly. The buzz can be heard through the denim. You ignore it as you cross the lot.

“Is that him calling?” She asks, “is that what this is about? I mean, I’d be pissed too but he shouldn’t get to ruin your day.”

“No, it’s not,” you lie, “I just... crowds get to me after a while. It’s been a long day, traveling and all that... I’m tired.”

“Mm, sure, well, let’s not let that coward shit on it all,” she snips. “It’ll be like high school. Girls’ night! Popcorn and nail painting and your favourite hollywood hunk.”

“You mean your favourite,” you toss back.

She giggles, “come on, you know you think he’s cute too.”

You roll your eyes and stick close to her. You follow her out to the street and quickly turn away. You send one last look over your shoulder. You don’t think he’d follow you this far. You grab onto Kara’s arm and set your sights ahead of you.

“Sleepover!” You chime, doing your best to hide your anxiety.

🎮

You’re sad to leave Kara. She made a crummy day brighter with a fun night. Still, you’re relieved to go back home. Where you can be alone, where you can forget.

You catch an early Greyhound and hug your bag to you as you doze, waking with each lurch of the axle. Back in town, you disembark and sigh. You still have a shift tonight. It’s a good excuse to avoid that little needling at the back of your mind.

You still can’t believe it. How many years had you been warned against meeting people on the internet? For how much of your life has that faceless avatar online been the boogeyman to fear? And yet, he sent you pictures, you spent hours gaming together, and you trusted him. Yes, you’re that stupid. You really trusted Jacob—Andy.

You drop your stuff at home and shower as your grandmother grumbles into a cup of tea. As you emerge, her eternal scowl curls her lips. You go to the kitchen to wash her used dishes and come back out, hoping the chore appeases her. She doesn’t say a word as she sorts through her knitting needles.

Right. As grim as the house can be, you find comfort in that nothing has changed, even if you feel like your world has. You don’t even want to look at your Switch. That one possession you treasured above all. It’s the most expensive thing you own. You saved for months to get one, it connected you to outside, it helped you escape, and now it’s just another reminder.

You grab your purse and head off for work. You message Kara to check in. Uh oh, she says Calvin is in town. Not this again.

You go to hit reply on her message and another notification pops up. You tap it before you can stop yourself. It’s him. Andy. He’s been texting but you haven’t answered, you haven’t even looked to block him. You don’t know why you haven’t just hit that magic button but you just avoided everything about him.

‘Please. I’m sorry. Can we please talk?’

It’s no different than the litany of texts before hand; ‘we can mine and talk this out’; ‘I wanted to tell you the truth for so long, I just thought you had the right to hear it face-to-face'; ‘hope you got home safe. Please text when you have a moment’; one after another, changing from one tone to the others; desperate, apologetic, concerned...

Before you can dismiss the conversation, he messages again.

‘You’re reading my messages. I see the checkmark. Please, just give me a chance to explain.’

You sniff and shake your head. You mute your phone and bury it at the bottom of your purse. You don’t want to talk to him but you just can’t bring yourself to get rid of him entirely. For a year he was your friend. Maybe just a gaming buddy but a constant that you came to count on.

You would login and just shoot the shit; chat about your day; just let it all out and not think as you dug up diamonds or raced around Moo Moo Meadows. That’s all gone now and it hurts just as much as the rest of his lies. It isn’t just that he isn’t Jacob, it’s that you told him things you didn’t even tell Kara. He had been your safe harbour because he was far away, because anything you said could never come back to you.

Your eyes sting and your cheeks pinch. Stupid, again. You shouldn’t be this emotional about this. Forget about it. You got work.

Work? Scooping ice cream? God, how pathetic you must have sounded to him. He’s a lawyer or something? At least that what he claimed when he’d still been Jacob. You knew at first glance the type of man he is; established, professional, and older. So much older.

Yeah, your problems must have seemed so minuscule and immature. Oh, you flunked a pop quiz? Not like you have to pay a mortgage.

Urgh. You shake off the nipping embarrassment as you enter the booth and pull on your apron. Maybe you don’t have that much going on, but you’re trying. You’re young. You’re learning. What’s his excuse?

🎮

You should have done this a lot sooner. You don’t know why you didn’t. Maybe because it didn’t matter before. Before, Jacob was just a boy you played Minecraft with. He was just a voice in a headset. But now, he’s... not. He’s Andy. No.

He’s dead.

You stare at the search result and your heart sinks. That, at least, is true. Jacob Barber; death date, last year. The pictures even match. Just a skinny kid, smiling beside his dad and mom. She’s gone too. Lost in the same accident.

You kick yourself for being so careless. If you’d just searched him up a year ago. Even just reverse searched those pictures, you would’ve pieced it together. The only thing you can be thankful for is that it wasn’t worse. That you’re safe and you can just leave it behind.

Well, that’s what you want to do.

You scroll through the rest of the results. There's more, before the death. Articles about a murder and suspects. Jacob was one. What?

It’s all so messy you can hardly make sense of any of it. You stop and sit back. You think of the man who sat across from you, you remember the look in his eyes, the flicker in his voice. He did sound sorry.

And after everything? A police investigation then to just lose your son like that? Your only child.

You know you don’t owe him anything. He lied to you. He had every chance to be honest, from the very beginning. Maybe you wouldn’t have wanted to play with a middle-aged man but maybe you could’ve helped him find somebody. You could’ve at least shared gaming tips.

It isn’t about him. It’s about closure. This is just a blip on the radar. You have bigger things to worry about. Your grandmother, work, school. The summer’s flying by and tuition fees are higher than last year. Your interest payments are going to spike and you foresee a second job on the horizon.

You look at your phone, entranced by it. You stand and walk in circles. You come back to your small desk and pick up the cell. The little chat bubble at the bottom has that red dot in the corner; unread messages. You tap it and the dot disappears.

Jacob--

Andy’s chat opens and you slowly key in your message, several times over before you get it right.

‘I’m signing into the server. I’ll be on until nine. No mining, talking.’

That’s it. That’s all. You can’t go back to what it was. You want this to be over. You’re closing the book, cutting the strings. He needs to know what he did was wrong and you need to move on.

You take a breath and try to calm your nerves. Now that you’ve sent the message, you don’t know if you can do it. It’s too late, he saw it.

You move slowly as you boot up your switch and plug in your headset. Your heart is racing like crazy. You’re going to have a panic attack. You feel the same wave of nausea you felt back at the con. Ugh.

You load the server and almost as soon as the textures appear, he joins. Your lip trembles. You hear his mic scuff but he says nothing. No, you’re not here to listen to him. He has to hear you and then you’re done.

“I’m sorry about your son,” you begin.

“I... thanks.”

“But it’s not an excuse,” you interrupt him, “what you did was so wrong.”

“I know.”

“Please, let me get this out,” you insist, your voice shaking. “I can’t understand what you’ve been through. I looked it all up and I know that it’s a lot. I, obviously, have never dealt with any of that. You know that, because I told you. Because I trusted you,” you frown as you inhale sharply, tears pricking in your eyes, “because I thought you were my age, that you were him, your son. Your dead son.”

You shudder and shake your head, gulping thickly.

“Do you not see how fucked up that is?”

He sighs, “I know. I promise you, I wanted to tell you. That’s why... that’s why I wanted to meet. Because you deserved to know and I had to tell it to your face. You deserved that--”

“Did I deserve to be lied to? Huh? Why—Why did you need to do all that? Why couldn’t you just tell the truth?”

He sniffles. You’re silent, choked by the sob trapped in your throat.

“I... He’s gone. I missed him so bad and I wasn’t thinking straight. It’s not an excuse, you’re right,” his voice is raspy, “I... you reminded me of him. Playing his favourite game helped me get through. It was wrong. All of it. I’m not saying you should forgive me, but I’m trying to explain as best as I can. I still don’t really understand why I did it.”

You swallow and wipe your wet eyes, “you’re right. I don’t need to forgive you. I don’t. I only came on here to say what I needed to before I delete this world. I might be young and stupid but I think you need help. Real help, not some girl on a headset.”

“Please--”

His voice cuts off as you hit quit. You feel a pang of guilt. You do feel bad for him but you hope he heard you. You can’t forgive what he did to you, but you can wish the best for him. You hope what you said can make him get the proper help.

#andy barber #dark andy barber #dark!andy barber #andy barber x reader #fic #dark fic #dark!fic #series #end game #defending jacob

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allllium · 1 day

Text

Secret

~ This took so much longer than I wanted it to, yay writers block right? 😭

~ Angst, Fluff at end, WC:2,737

~Remus is keeping a secret

Your boyfriend is cheating on you. That's the only explanation for the way he's acting. Every month he disappears, not just for an hour or two, but full days. Most of the time he disappears for about two to three days. And even if he doesn't disappear, he acts super weird around you.

You've tried to ask James and Sirius about it, but of course they never say anything. They are loyal to bone, which usually you respect but now it's just frustrating. You thought you were a part of the group, clearly you were wrong.

What are you supposed to do? You've already tried his friends, and spent months obsessing over behavior. Analyzing every little thing he does for you and other people, trying to find out who Remus would rather be with than you. You can't keep feeling like this.

You're in the library, trying and failing to focius on your book. Usually Remus would be here with you, but he's not. You haven't seen him since yesterday morning, when he all but pushed you out of his dorm room.

At first this whole thing was frustrating, and confusing, but now you feel rejected, a feeling your boyfriend should never give you. At first you raked your mind for any other reason why Remus would act like this. You went through things like illness, something about his friends, family maybe, you even thought it might have something to do with school work, but none of those explain why he's nowhere to be seen.

So now here you are. On the verge of tears while sitting in the library, wishing he would just come clean about what he's doing. At least then it would be easier to break up with him. But what can you do without proof, left with nothing but a bad feeling.

“What's wrong, sweetheart?” You are quickly pulled from your thoughts by James’s voice coming from behind you. He's always been incredibly sweet to you, mostly because he thought it would help convince Lily to go out with him, but you also know he's just a naturally good person.

“Fine, Jamie.” You give him the best smile you can muster, obviously he sees right through it. He slings his arm around your shoulder and plops down in the seat next to you.

“What's on your mind?” He seems genuinely concerned but you don't believe it. Real friends tell friends when they're being cheated on. You wish. In real life, however, they always stay loyal to whoever came first. You love that Remus has such great support when he needs it but what about you?

“It's nothing, doesn't matter.” You try your best to reassure him.

“No, something is clearly wrong. How can I help?”

“It's nothing, James, just drop it. Please.” He knows you're serious when you use his real name, usually resorting to some stupid nickname.

“Yeah, okay. If you need anything just let me know.” You only nod as he turns to leave. You take a big breath when you're alone again.

You're honestly trying not to panic. You love Remus, a lot. But you can't be with a cheater, you just can't. And if you break up with him then you lose all your friends, because of course, they were his friends first. Which means you have to start over, all alone. Yeah, no reason to panic.

Over the next few days you don't see Remus. Not because of him, this time it's you trying to disappear. This is what happens, he ignores you for a few days then comes back all clingy as if nothing happened. The first couple times you tried to ask about it but you never got a straight answer. He told you he was busy with his friends or with school, which was clearly a lie, so eventually you stopped asking.

You've had to change your daily routine a lot just to avoid him. Instead of going to his dorm for bed, you go to your own. You're not eating in the dining hall, because he would sit with you. You're sitting away from him in class and turning the other way when you see him in the halls. Apparently your avoidance has been so obvious, McGonagall stopped him after a class to ask what happened. You didn't stay long enough to overhear his answer.

“Oh, Angel!” You hear your boyfriend’s voice call for you in the hallway, you do nothing but walk faster, knowing you won't be able to keep it together long enough to face him right now. “I know you heard me.” His voice is much closer as he grabs your shoulder to stop you. He takes the books out of your hand and holds them behind his back.

“What do you want, Remus?” You ask him, not turning around.

“I want to know why my girlfriend has been ignoring me for days now?”

You no longer feel sad when you finally turn and look at him, the irony of his statement filling you with sudden frustration and anger, “Oh really? What about you Remus? You ignore me for days every month and I still don't have an answer for that!”

He stays silent, analyzing your expression before continuing, “It's different,” is all he says.

“How Remus? I would love for you to explain how exactly this is different.”

“It just is!”

“You know what, I don't even care. Come find me when you can explain, otherwise don't bother.” You feel like you're going to collapse as you walk away, leaving him in the hall, with your books in his hand.

You didn't think it would be this hard. Yet after a few more days have passed it seems Remus took the ‘don't bother’ part of your speech more seriously than any other.

You honestly thought he would at least try to give you any kind of explanation. Even if it is a lie.

James and Sirius haven't talked to you either. Remus obviously told them about what you said, they don't want to be friends with you if you aren't with Remus.

Over the last few days, you've spent a lot more time with Lily and the rest of the girls.

“So, you wanna tell me what happened?” Lily asks you. You're sitting with her in her dorm with Mary and Pandora.

“I don't know what to say.” You shrug. What are you supposed to say? You don't want to tell her Remus is probably cheating on you, on the very off chance he isn't. And you don't want to admit how much you miss being around him.

“What did you guys fight about?” Mary pipes up. At this point the whole school has noticed the behavior between the two of you. Everyone has been talking about it, spreading theories as to why such a happy couple has been acting like this.

“It wasn't a fight,” You begin to explain to the girls, “I told him unless he can tell me why he keeps disappearing I don't wanna talk to him.”

You don't miss the look Lily and Pandora exchange. Mary focuses her gaze onto the floor, none of them look at you as Pandora speaks up this time.

“I mean he probably has a good reason.” She tries to offer.

“And you all know, don't you?” Great, you're officially the only one who doesn't know this secret your boyfriend is keeping.

“It's not what you think.” Lily tells you softly.

“Then why won't he tell me?”

“I don't know,” Lily tells you again, “Maybe you should talk to him.”

“I tried that, but it didn't work.”

“Then don't ask him to talk, tell him you're not happy. I promise he's not trying to hurt you.”

“And how do you know? He apparently told everyone but me Lily, what am I supposed to think?”

No one responds.

“I don't know what to do.” Remus tells his friends, running his hands over his face in despair.

“Well, I vote you stop being a dumbass but we know that won't happen.” Sirius offers him. The four of them haven't left their dorm all day, trying to convince Remus he needs to be honest with you. Actually Peter and Sirius have been trying to convince him, James hasn't talked to him all day. He knows why you were upset in the library and isn't trying to hide his irritation, however, he doesn't want to say something to hurt Remus. So he stays quiet.

“I agree. What's the worst that can happen?” Peter shrugs, you'd think Remus would listen to him considering he's the one in the longest lasting relationship.

“Uh, she could leave me!” He practically shouts, rolling his eyes at the look shared between Sirius and Peter.

“Oh you mean like what she wants to do now?” Remus doesn't even notice who says it, too distracted by the ice running through his veins.

“You really think she'll want to break up over this?” His voice is barely a whisper, the slight heartbreak clear in his tone.

“This is one of the biggest parts of your life and you haven't told her. She knows you've been lying about it and you haven't talked to her once since she said “don't bother.” In my opinion all you're doing is showing her you don't care.” Peter tries his best to explain this gently to Remus. Not wanting to hurt him but knowing Remus won't actually understand till he knows how you feel about it.

“I need to tell her. I just- I don't want her to leave me because of it.”

James lets out an exasperated sigh at Remus's words. “She's not going to leave you for being a werewolf, she loves you just as much as you love her. If she breaks up with you it's because of how long you've kept this a secret.

Another week goes by with no word for Remus. You're started to give up hope that he'll even try to talk to you again. Unless to finally end this relationship. Thinking about either of these options hurt your heart, not wanting this to end or go on.

“It's not until you're leaving the dining hall after dinner that you're pulled into an empty classroom. You can tell by the touch on your wrist that it's him.

“What do you want, Remus?” You immediately ask. You try to keep your face as straight as possible, not wanting him to see how upset you really are.

“I need to explain.”

“Seriously? Now?”

“Can I please just tell you what's going on? You can yell or insult me all you want afterwards, I just need you to know.” He lets go of your wrist but refuses to look away from your face.

You give a small nod in agreement but it's all he needs to jump right into what he wants to say, you have the feeling this whole plan was practiced beforehand.

“I was not trying to hurt you. I love you a lot. More than I have ever loved anything before and I couldn't bear the thought of losing you because I'm not normal. I figured if there were something wrong with who I am, I can change, I can fix that but I can't fix something I have no control over and I felt like I would die if I lost you because of it.”

“Because of what?” Is all you ask.

He takes a deep breath before finally explaining, “I'm a werewolf.”

“Oh screw you.” You roll your eyes and quickly walk out of the classroom.

Remus doesn't follow you out. He stays standing in the empty room for a few minutes, confused about the interaction that just took place.

He comes to your shared class almost halfway through and doesn't look at you until it's over.

“Angel, please talk to me.” Remus begs, following out of the classroom. You shake your head and begin to speed up your walk. He grabs your wrist and pulls you into him, “Baby please.”

“What do you want, Remus? Here to lie to me more.” You turn around to confront him.

“I'm not lying about being a werewolf.” He defends, eyes widening in bewilderment.

“That's not what I'm mad about.” Your tone grows more angry as you talk. “We've been dating for how long now and you don't tell me your biggest secret? You've had me panicking every fucking month wondering where you where and who you were with. All because you what? Can't trust me with this big secret?”

Remus visible winces as your voice grows louder. “Please don't be so loud.”

“Oh yeah! Don't trust me not spill anything!”

“That's not what I meant, love. Can we just talk about this, somewhere private.”

“So what? So you can make up some lame excuses?” You turn again and try to leave.

“No angel, that's not why I didn't tell you.”

You pause. As much as you want to keep walking you love him. Deep inside you know exactly why he didn't tell you but you don't think you can bear to hear him say it. You know it's not because of you but you feel like you failed. You feel as if you failed to make him know just how much you love him, just how worth it he is. You want nothing more than for him to be happy and if he hasn't told you about his big secret clearly he's happy enough with you.

“It has nothing to do with you, I promise. I wanted to tell you so many times, so much more than you know but whenever I tried I couldn't. My mouth wouldn't open as much as I tried. I was terrified that you would leave, I know you never would, okay, I know. But the thought that you could stopped me, it stops me from doing many things.”

“Why?” You ask, tears arriving in your eye line.

“Because I can't live without you. I know how cheesy that sounds but it's true. All my life I've dealt with the consequences of being a werewolf even from people that don't know. You have helped me be myself more than anyone ever has and that's enough. I can't bear the thought of you leaving let alone the thought of knowing I pushed you away. Knowing this pushed you away and it wasn't something I could stop because if I could I would. I know it makes things harder for you. I hear how people talk about you because of my scars and how awkward I am and you don't deserve that, you've made me think that maybe I don't deserve it either. I can't lose you. I can't let this push you away because without you I go back to who I used to be. And now that you've shown me who I really am, I can't go back to being him.”

You listen to his words silently, trying your best not to let the tears fall. He doesn't deserve to feel this way and hearing him admit that makes you want to cry with happiness for him, for yourself in succeeding to make him feel as loved as he is. You want to tell him this but he continues.

“I love you, angel. And I'm so sorry I couldn't get myself to tell you before. I am so sorry I made you worry and made other people lie for me. I don't know what to say except for that. I don't know how I can make this better.”

“You already did, Rem.” This time you turn to face him, seeing the tears on his face break your heart even more. “I mean I can't really fault you for your mouth sabotaging you.”

A small smile blooms on his face. “How dare it.”

“I know what it's like to be that anxiety. I thought you were cheating on me.”

“I would never!” He looks genuinely offended at your words.

“I know baby, but there's still that fear.”

“I'm really sorry.” He pulls you in for a hug.

“I know, Rem. I wish I could've helped you more.”

“Dove, you've already done more than enough, I love you.”

“I love you too. But if I find out you're keeping something else I'll kill you as you sleep.”

You feel Remus grin into the crook of your neck.

#remus lupin x reader #remus lupin #remus lupin drabble #remus lupin fic #remus lupin headcanon #remus lupin fanfic #remus lupin fanfiction #possessive remus lupin #remus lupin fan fiction #remus lupin fluff #remus lupin hurt/comfort #remus lupin one shot #remus lupin imagine #remus lupin oneshot #remus lupin scenario #remus lupin x f!reader #remus lupin x fem!reader #remus lupin x y/n #remus lupin x you

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lexithwrites · 2 days

Text

sorry for the long read but this is important (aka lets talk about plagiarism)

hello! so, if anyone remembers the other day i posted a lil snippet for a smutshot involving remus/sirius/james. originally, someone got very upset about the lack of tags and accused me of writing SA—it was not SA, it was teasing someone and edging them, but i digress. people misread things all the time and thats whatever—and they privately messaged me accusing the same thing and saying i needed to tag better as i had triggered them. i deleted the post not wanting to upset anyone else, apologised for upsetting them then whilst trying to explain my work and explain how it wasnt SA, they blocked me. that's fair and i moved on learning my lesson as i clearly did something wrong.

what isn't fair, is rewriting said work for yourself and posting it on YOUR ao3 account.

i was sent the story and commented:

you deleted this post almost immediately and proceeded to say it isn't plagiarism. this is the definition of plagiarism btw:

that's what you did. it's the exact same scenario, it's a threesome, and the dialogue is VERY similar. the premise for the scene is the same. I've got some screenshots of both works below to highlight this:

MINE:

THEIRS:

now this isn't word for word, obviously, and theirs is a longer one shot with other plot points involved, but these scenes are similar. the dialogue in particular is similar. its a slap in the face honestly; to be given shit by someone and then see that they decided to use it for themselves.

there is always consent in my work, i've never had anyone say before that this is an issue as my finished works have discussions of safe words and safe sex and boundaries. pretty much everything i've ever written that involves sex has a conversation regarding safe words. i clearly tagged it wrong and i will admit that. i will take the blame for that and tag accordingly from now on.

but you used my work for your own. and also (since you added this to the ao3 post i'll include it) you admitted to using my work:

'inspired by some drama'

YOU REWROTE WHAT I MADE. YOU USED SIMILAR DIALOGUE. THE SAME SETTING. YOU JUST MADE IT YOUR OWN AND ARE ACTING LIKE THAT ISN'T PLAGIARISM??

like—

just because you didn't think i would 'appreciate' being mentioned does not mean you do it?? you literally admitted to 'tweaking' it and writing it yourself. this is such stupid fucking drama and so unnecessary what did you want to gain from this??

do not use other peoples fucking work. SIMPLE.

also i shouldnt have to say this but dont give this person shit. dont send hate in my name, its not worth it and not the point of this post whatsoever .im not naming them, they know who they are even if they've blocked me. i dont care if you see this, honestly i hope you see it. just please take plagiarism seriously because its annoying af and weird

ANYWAY have a lovely day <3

#the marauders #sirius black #remus lupin #james potter #whatever man

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frociaggine · 2 days

Note

do you have any tips/resources for a beginner who wants to get into weightlifting?

thank you for asking!! I love this question. I love lifting! It's Good For You (helps increase bone density & metabolic rate, and it's good for injury prevention and developing functional strength). It's also a really great confidence boost. 10/10 would rec lifting to every single person reading this — if it's an option for you, give it a try.

TLDR: familarise yourself with common exercises. pick a beginner program. follow it. profit!

A more involved answer, with resources and details, is under the cut

familiarise yourself with common exercises

There are hundreds of possible exercises out there to target each specific body part. However, most of those are what's called "accessory" movements, as opposed to "basic" exercises that will pop up over and over in most lifting routines. Ideally, you want to know how to perform these movements, using light weights or just your bodyweight until you feel comfortable with it.

CORE BRACING (ft deadbugs. genuinely lifechanging skill!)

Squats.

Hip hinge. This is useful for deadlifts, romanian deadlifts, kettlebell swings & similar movements

Push movements (for example: dumbell chest press, shoulder press etc)

Pull movements (dumbell rows & many others)

That said. Please don't stress too much over "good form". Each exercise has infinite variations and especially as a beginner, you won't be lifting heavy enough weights to make form optimisation a big concern. All bodies are different and our individual stances vary a lot depending on body proportions, flexibility levels etc. You just want to know HOW an exercise is supposed to be performed, in terms of: which muscles it activates? what am I supposed to get out of it? how to do it safely? Your bodyweight squat doesn't have to be flawless, it just has to be good enough.

BTW, you know when I said that there are hundreds of possible exercises out there? Here is a very detailed masterlist + exercise guide for exercises impacting each muscle group.

learn your way around a weight room, if you aren't familiar with it already.

Broadly speaking: the free weights (bar, dumbells, kettlebells) are good for compound exercises that involve multiple muscle groups. The various machines are ideal for "isolation" exercises that target fewer specific muscle groups.

If you already know what's what, then skip this bit! But I've talked to many people who feel a bit intimidated by the weight room because they feel out of place in it, and in my experience familiarising yourself with the general layout is a good way to take away that discomfort.

And, in case this is something you need to hear: you deserve to be there, you're not taking space, and most gymgoers just want to finish their workout and shower, and won't pay specific negative attention to you. Most gyms have a weight room manager or floor trainer, at least during some shifts, and they WILL be happy to help you. If you're someone who doesn't want to be bothered while exercising, just preventively introduce yourself, say you're new

pick a program

I highkey recommend following a pre-made program instead of just fucking about on your own. Here's why

programs are well-balanced in terms of volume and muscle groups, to ensure you don't overtrain one body part and leave other lagging

they have a built-in "progression scheme" that will allow you to move to a higher weight in an optimal way — basically, you'll see strength advantages sooner

they help navigate information overload. There is SO much information about fitness out there that acts as an entry barrier. Following a pre-made program really helps with that.

If you have a gym membership, you may have the option of one "free workout program" made by a trainer who works at the gym. If that's in the cards, I'd recommend going with that.

Otherwise, I strongly recommend the "programs rec guide" over at r/xxfitness, the female fitness subreddit (the name is 15 years old but it's a queer friendly, trans inclusive space). I haven't personally done any of those, but Meg Gallagher of Before the Barbell is very solid, and that's the one I'd suggest.

get ready for DOMS

Also known as delayed onset muscle soreness. It happens 1) when you go to the gym after a while or start exercising for the first time 2) when you train a different muscle group than usual 3) when you up the intensity of a workout.

Basically, you wake up in the morning and you go OUCH!! ACHEY. That's DOMS. It happens because your muscle fibres are suffering microtears and reknitting (stronker!!) and you will feel very stiff and possibly very swollen (muscles retain water).

It'll take a few days for it to go away. IT IS SAFE TO EXERCISE THROUGH DOMS; the only thing limiting you is if you're too achy to move effectively. I recommend eating something protein heavy (more on that below) and doing some gentle exercise to make it go away faster (walking, at home-stretches or yoga, swimming if it's an option, etc.)

You DON'T want to stay in bed the whole time, because that'll only make you more stiff and make it last longer. Note that "post exercise achiness" is something that WILL go away after the first couple of weeks or so, depending on your recovery (again, gentle exercise and/or going to the gym again when you're still a bit achey is actually preferred than being completely at rest until they're fully gone away). Long term, you're NOT supposed to feel high-level soreness after working out. "No pain no gain" is mostly bullshit.

evaluate your program!

I'm always saying this, but the best exercise is the one you actually stick with. If your exercise plan is dull or fills you with dread, it doesn't matter how good for you it supposedly is — ditch it. Give yourself a few weeks of whatever program you pick, then re-evaluate: what are your favourite exercises you've done so far? Which ones you don't like? What would you like to do? Programs can and should be modified according to your preferences, and it's a lot easier to customise something that works for YOU once you're a bit more familiar with everything. For example, maybe someone at your gym is doing kettlebell swings and you think it's cool and you'd rather do those instead of crunches for your abs. Why not. Just note down what's working and what isn't, and then re-evaluate (with gym trainers if that's an option, but also, I mean it, HMU whenever).

odds and ends!!

None of these things are a big deal, but they make your life easier:

Hydrate during a workout. If you're hydrated your body works better. You'll also probably sweat during your workout. Getting through 1L of water during a 1 hour / 1 hour and a half gym session is perfectly normal.

Warm up before lifting. Something like this for a general body warmup + lighter warm-up series before going up to the weight you actually want to lift. For example: if you're squatting the bar (20kg) I'd do one bodyweight squats series, and another series holding a 10kg kettlebell or dumbell. Cool down or stretch after!

Mobility work on a day off is a good idea, even if you're no longer suffering through soreness. This is my current go-to routine, I do it about 2x week.

If possible, eat protein the evening / day after a workout. Protein is great for building muscle, and you WILL see a noticeable difference in energy level and speed of recovery by upping your protein intake. Basically: if you usually eat lentils or fish twice a week, try to make one of those times your post-gym dinner.

(In general, as a beginner you WILL see results regardless, and you don't need to optimise nutrition or anything (not to mention, it can be overwhelming / complicated to deal with.) But if you're interested in the specifics of nutrition & exercise, HMU)

keep track of your workouts! I really recommend this; it can be very inspiring to have a backlog you can look at when you want to track your progress, and you want to establish a benchmark with yourself. It can be as simple as writing down gym days & numbers in your journal if you have one; personally I use the Strong app to save my routines, and every week when I log in new workouts I modify the values depending on what weight and # of reps I hit that week. For reference, this is what a week looks like on the Strong app for me

IF I'VE MISSED ANYTHING SHOOT ME AN ASK.

#Anonymous #ask #jockposting #weight lifting #fitblr

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thatsmzbitchtoyou · 3 days

Text

The Fuck Up Chapter 2

Summary: Bucky fucked up. A few times. Will his best friend ever be able to forgive him?

Warnings: language, smut, mentions of war, injury, pregnancy

Bucky didn’t hear from Y/N again for two weeks, the longest they’d ever gone without talking. He tried to reach out to her, texting, calling, video chatting, he even rode his motorcycle over to her apartment, knowing she would be home but she wouldn’t answer the door. He had sent in the re-enlistment papers. As much as he knew Y/N was right, he had made a promise. He would be fine, he knew he would.

Bucky received his orders a month later. Back to Baghdad with his military friend, Steve Rogers, assigned to his same group again. He was to ship out in another month. Y/N refused to talk to him, and he was becoming more desperate by the day just to talk to her before he left. As he was out grabbing some snacks the day before he was supposed to leave he saw her in the store, almost running up to her.

“Y/N!” He could see her visibly freeze at the sound of his voice and it hurt him. “Honey, please,” Bucky rounded her to look at her. She sighed heavily before meeting his gaze.

“Hey Buck,” Y/N said quietly.

“That’s it? Hey Buck?” he asked incredulously.

“I don’t have anything to say to you,” she said, her voice still quiet but firm.

“Honey—”

“Stop calling me that!” she hissed, throwing the food she grabbed into her cart and walking away quickly.

“Why?” Bucky followed her. “Please just talk to me. We can go to your apartment and watch The Great British Bake Off again. I’ll give you one of those massages you love. Please just—”

Y/N stopped suddenly, making him skid to a stop. “What do you want me to say?” she asked, looking at him sadly. “You broke your promise to me. You re-enlisted. Becca told me.” Bucky hung his head, swallowing harshly. “I can’t keep watching you leave, Bucky. I can’t keep waiting to hear back from you and praying that you don’t die. I won’t do it anymore.”

“This is the last time, I promise,” he breathed, stepping closer to her.

“You said that last time,” Y/N said. “You lied.”

“I know, I fucked up,” Bucky said, taking another step closer until he could reach out and cup her cheeks in his hands. “I made two promises that I knew I couldn’t keep. But this is the last time. And I’ll come home. I always come home.”

“You almost didn’t,” Y/N whispered.

“But I will. I always do. Nothing can stop me from coming home to you,” Bucky whispered back, his eyes boring into hers. Y/N closed her eyes and shook her head. “I can’t…I can’t leave without us being good, honey.”

Y/N opened her eyes and looked at him again. Those big blue eyes were too much for her, she could never say no to him. She sighed again and pulled his hands away from her face but held his fingers. “Fine, you can come over, but just for a bit.”

Bucky smiled. “Great, I’ll meet you there.” He squeezed her fingers then went to buy the snacks he had. He hopped on his motorcycle and drove to her apartment, meeting her there and helping her bring her groceries into her apartment for her. They got comfortable, turning on the show and Bucky moving so he was behind her, rubbing her shoulders and neck. After watching the show for a while the tension started to lift between them.

“Why do they do that?” Bucky griped as he watched the bakers struggle with the proving times of bread. “They know it’s going to take forever, it’s fucking bread! They need to double the time for proving. But no, it has to look pretty!”

Y/N giggled at his complaining. “Says the man who can barely make himself anything.”

“Hey I try!” Bucky said, tickling her neck, making her squeal. “I made you that pasta thing and you liked it.”

“I did,” Y/N conceded. “And then you never made it again.”

Bucky laughed, pulling her back against him and looping his arms around her shoulders. He hugged her, his face nestling into the crook of her neck, breathing her in. They had always had a close relationship, which is why people thought they were dating all the time. He knew that his feelings towards her always had some kind of romantic undertone, but he had never wanted to push her towards anything she wasn’t ready or comfortable with, and the time had just never felt right to pursue anything. He had missed her these past few weeks, and he was going to miss her during this last tour. Y/N laid her head on his shoulder, making them almost cheek to cheek as she continued watching.

“You leave tomorrow?” Y/N asked quietly, a slight tremble in her voice.

Bucky shut his eyes, nuzzling her neck some more. “Yes,” he mumbled.

“Hm,” Y/N hummed. Her hands reached up and grabbed his arms around her, giving them a squeeze. “How long?”

“It’s a short one. Ten months,” Bucky said, his voice soft.

She hummed again, taking a deep breath. “I’ll miss you.”

“I’ll miss you,” Bucky replied, his own voice starting to tremble. Y/N turned to him, looking into his wet eyes.

“Buck,” she whispered, then moved in his arms until she sat in his lap, hugging him around the neck as he held her. “Please come back.”

“I will,” he said, his hands rubbing up and down her back. “I told you, nothing can stop me coming back home to you.” He kissed her cheek, rubbing his face against hers. He couldn’t seem to get close enough to her today.

“I love you,” Y/N said, her breath tickling his neck.

“I love you,” Bucky breathed. She kissed his neck and it made him stiffen and quietly gasp. He had always kissed her in their friendship, on the cheek, the head, sometimes her hands, but she had never kissed him, until now. Y/N pulled away and cupped his face in her hands. She stared at him, like she was memorizing every part of his face. Her thumbs softly caressed his cheeks, the tips of her other fingers scratching his beard lightly. Bucky watched her carefully, shifting himself so his face was closer to hers. She didn’t try to move away and he took that as a good sign. His eyes darted from her eyes to her lips and back. “Y/N, can I ask you something?” Y/N nodded. “I know we’ve never…but could I just ask for one…kiss?”

Y/N’s eyes slightly widened as she inhaled a shaky breath. “I don’t know if that’s a good idea Buck,” she muttered.

“It’s probably not,” he agreed. “But…please?”

Y/N stared at him for another minute, her eyes flicking from his eyes to his lips. She licked her lips and nodded slowly. Bucky smiled and let her move on her own time. She moved forward, her nose bumping against his lightly, her eyes looking between his eyes and lips over and over again. She angled her head and softly pressed her lips against his.

Bucky tried not to react too quickly so as not to scare her off. He softly moved his lips against hers, his hands pulling her towards him firmly. Y/N breathed heavily against him, deepening the kiss as her hands moved from his jaw to the back of his neck, holding him to her mouth. Something about the kiss seemed to break down a wall between them, the fears and worries about this kind of intimacy between them crumbling.

The kiss became passionate, Bucky’s hands moving Y/N so she was straddling his lap and he kneaded her thighs and hips. Y/N ran her fingers through his hair, tugging at the strands as she opened her mouth and licked along his lips until he opened them and tasted her back. He moaned, his mind reeling at the fact that he was doing this, having this moment with her. Y/N whimpered at the noise he made and chased it with her tongue. Bucky’s hands moved to her ass, feeling her and pulling her more onto his crotch. She responded by grinding her hips against him, her hands traveling down his chest and stomach until she could lift his shirt. He helped her shrug it off of him and she scratched down his chest.

There were no words spoken between them as Bucky stood and they stripped each other of their clothes as they clumsily walked toward her bedroom. They were never far apart as they climbed onto the bed and he kissed every inch of skin he could reach. He wondered why they had never done this before. It felt so natural, so right with her, like breathing as he drove her to her first orgasm with his mouth, as she gripped his cock so perfectly, as he entered her and it felt like she was made for him. Every sound she made was like his own symphony, and he committed each thing about this moment to memory.

Y/N screamed as she came, sending Bucky into his climax as her pussy constricted around him. They laid together, panting breaths against each other's faces, Bucky rubbing his nose along her face and down her neck, not wanting the moment to end just yet. They still didn’t say anything as Bucky pulled out of her then pulled her into a hug as he lay next to her. His eyes drooped as he listened to her breathing even out, his fingers tickling her back slowly as he drifted off to sleep.

#marvel #smut #bucky barnes #bucky barnes fanfic #bucky barnes x reader #series fanfic #chapter 2 #soldier!bucky barnes #marine!bucky barnes #buckywiththelonghair

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middlingmay · 2 days

Note

Any headcanons about John's hands? 🔥

Anon! You have no idea how much I needed something like this to cheer me up. Today has been a clusterfuck of a day at work. What a lovely thing to log off to.

I have so many thoughts about John's hands. As they say in my country, here we fucking go.

Also, if any under 18s here, gets a tiny bit spicy towards the end.

John's hands are constantly on the move. It stems from his need to be doing, to be useful in some way. It's something he inherited from his father, who he watched flap and wave his hands around when he spoke, handle people pretty freely, and find something to occupy his hands the rare occassions John saw him sit still.

They're calloused and have been for ages. John's dad got him into taking things apart, but unlike his dad, John liked the fixing part best and he loved using his hands to build something better, or at least to stop it from being thrown on the scrap heap.

The only time John's hands are still are when they're on somebody. They're as steady as you please when they're on someone's body, or guiding a plane.

They're big, obviously. They're freckled, too, and his fingers are thick and long. He used to wear rings before the army and often strokes the line of slightly softer skin where they used to be, absent minded.

Now for the good stuff:

Gale watches his hands a lot. The way they clench when he lifts something heavy; the way they curve around someone's arms and have nearly swallowed more than one skinny new recruit's bicep whole. He watches the way John's fingers trace the lip of his whisky glass, tracking moisture back and forth. He particularly likes when John uses them to bark out his orders, pointing or pushing them in some direction or other.

He does not like it when he sees both those hands clutch a woman's waist and his fingers meet behind her back. But Gale's always been told he has a trim waist - a swimmer's build - and oh boy, does it get him thinking.

The solidity of John is something Gale likes, the presence of him, tangible and reliable. John's hands give that to him, pressing down on his legs when they wanna shake, clutching his shoulder when he gets that urge to walk away from it all, squeezing his neck and ruffling his hair and squeezing his wrist and patting his belly, pressing against his back. Gale catalogues it all.

And when they finally get their shit together, Gale is obsessed with watching John's hands work him. He likes seeing John's hands leave fingerprints on his thighs. He loves watching himself slip in and out of the tunnel of John's hands. He loves running his tongue over those hands and licking them clean afterwards, only for them to grip Gale's jaw nearly painfully as John kisses him.

But his favourite thing is when one time, when John's underneath him and can't decide where to put his hands, Gale grabs them almost frantic, and puts them at his waist. John thankfully gets the hint and cinches his hands around Gale's waist tight. His hands don't quite touch, but they both discover it is an excellent way to manhandle Gale to where John needs him, or to do the heavy lifting for Gale when he's finished first or too tired but just won't quit.

And over the years Gale watches those hands fix things and learn to cook and clean, and work as hard as Gale's do to provide a life for them. He watched them pet dogs and cats, and play games with local kids, and one day, laws be damned, he even slips a ring on one finger, too

#asks #ask me anything #clegan #buck x bucky #john egan #gale cleven #mota

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shaylogic · 2 days

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DBDA Season 2 Wishlist Part 2:

Seeing the inside of Charles' Bag of Tricks and learning more about the mechanics of it

Charles running into one/some of the bullies that killed him. They're much older now. Maybe he has realizations about them like Edwin did with Simon. Or maybe they're still scum attacking people, and Charles poltergeist-haunts their asses

Finding out more about how Edwin learned all these languages, magic tools, and supernatural creatures lore. Did he pick it up in Hell or after he got back from it?

On that note, what exactly went down with him in Hell? "--traded to a demon who traded me to another demon who traded me to something WORSE than a demon!"

Crystal family/ancestor tree realm and powers. I'd love to learn more about each woman at the table, like Avatar past reincarnation life flashbacks

Niko new character love interest?

Mission to help Tragic Mick. Maybe we get to see Sedna?! Crystal could potentially make that happen, since she addressed Lilith and the Forest Spirit.

The Dandelion Sprites/"gods"? become cursed to be mortals and now they have to figure out how to navigate the world as attention-seeking assholes. Maybe they work with Crystal's parents lol

Crystal and Charles really make a go at dating to see if those feelings can really go anywhere, but there ends up being quite a bit of conflict and difficulty. Still, we get lots of nice ship moments in the early half of the season.

Edwin has started accepting and leaning into modern gay culture and tries chatting up guys to distract himself from Charles and Crystal (trying to be a good friend to Charles, especially).

If they can get the copyright permission, please gods give us Edwin and Niko watching Heartstopper together. Charles happens to witness a bi Nick scene when he's walking through.

More Niko & Charles friendship development. They didn't get enough moments together in season 1.

More ghost possession! The Night Nurse is already well aware of them, so they're not alerting her. But of course she would not allow it.

Night Nurse refuses to be a secretary and forces the boys to do paperwork after every case. They've got homework now.

Also, in s1e1, there's a pregnant pause between Edwin and Charles talking about the dangers of possession. There's a story there, and I need to know it in season 2. What did Edwin do? Who'd he try to possess?

More clear explanation to the audience of how touch works between humans/ghosts and ghosts/ghosts on various planes (earth vs hell for example, so we can go back to scream and cry at s. 1)

Crystal and Niko girls' day sightseeing in England!

Now we're in London, we're back on the boys' turf. Where are their main hangouts, contacts, and magic shops? Do they have any place special to the two of them with nostalgic memories? It's been 30 years!!!

We've seen some Edwin culture clash (and I want more!) but also more Charles culture clash with modern times (charles: "😮‍💨 Can you believe they don't make mixed tapes anymore?" Niko: "🥰they do playlists online now. I'll make you one! " Crystal: "👀 You made mixed tapes, Charles?")

Cat King and Meowpheus interaction

Domestic friend fluff (core four all in a big bed together watching movies)

Feel free to add your own wishlist in the reblogs/comments! <3

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aryaqua-reh2o · 2 days

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Blitzø's Eyes in The Full Moon

Overanalysing the last 5 minutes of The Full Moon, Blitzø edition.

We know that Blitzø has massive issues and he mainly deals with them by putting on a facade and keeping his walls up. During the interaction with Stolas in the end there are a few moments where his eyes speak volumes because as hard as he tries, he can’t completely hide his true self and how he feels.

Whenever he is sincere his eyes glow, and when he is scared he shows a little line near his pupils.

The first moment of sincerity is when Stolas takes the book away:

B: Please Stolas, I need this book, please!

He is honest here, I’d say he is worried but… I’ve seen many people saying he is scared of losing his access to the human world and the ability to provide for himself, Loona and M&M, but he actually never mentions his business, he just repeats he needs this book. Twice. So of course the book is crucial for his business survival, but is it all? I don’t think Blitzø here is talking about his job. I think he’s already scared of being rejected by Stolas. For as much as it has been pointed out that he cares deeply for his daughter and employees, I can’t help but notice that he doesn’t mention them or his business here, and also now the man is back on good terms with his friend Fizz and also Asmodeus himself, would it be that hard to get a crystal from them directly? The book is just an excuse IMO.

- Stares in awe - His reaction here is disbelief. He can’t hide how deeply touched he is by Stolas’ gesture.

S: You no longer need my Grimoire

B: Whaaaat?

Then, even if not eye-related, we have the clear tail twitch that betrays his insecurity

B: Because I can always… I can always do better!

Then Stolas reassures him and… he basically confesses his love to Blitzø

S: Blitzø, I’m giving you this because I care very deeply for you, and I have for some time.

Finally fear appears for the first time in Blitzø’s eyes and it’s at this exact moment. The deal is broken and Blitzø can’t use it anymore to hide behind it.

S: You don’t have to stay here with me

Finally, just a few seconds from the disaster, we see, if only just for a moment, Blitzø’s eyes glowing and a thin line near his pupil.

S: Only if you want to

He understands, he knows what Stolas is saying, he knows he is honest and Blitzø is scared of it so he tries to run away, to build his walls back up and the only way he knows is through sex and faking. (let's not talk about what happens next...)

S: …Even if only for a little while.

Blitzø realises he screwed up bad and Stolas shut down completely.

From here he loses his eye glow, but we see fear two more times, here:

B: Wait… what? You were serious??

And here, but I’d say it looks more like terror to me:

S: Goodbye Blitzø.

I have no idea what the point of this extra-long post is, I just needed to do it.

#helluva boss #helluva boss season 2 #stolas #blitzø #stolitz #helluva boss theory #helluva boss the full moon

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nervouseden · 1 day

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God Among Men.

Pairing: Avenger!Bucky Barnes x GN!Reader

Summary: After a stressful mission, your super soldier boyfriend needs you... This is literal trash. I apologize.

Warnings: SMUT. Brief mention of religious stuff. Worshipping. Misuse of religious terms. Collar and leash (it's really only mentioned like once or twice). Gender neutral reader. Blowjob. Face fucking. Finger sucking. Bucky Barnes (he's a warning). Metal arm (kink). A tad bit of hair pulling. Rough blowjob. Reader isn't the best at communicating. Praise. Some brief degradation. Voice kink (because who couldn't love that sweet baritone?). Brief mention of Shuri and Wakanda. Sir kink. Tears. Choking (from bj). Deep throating. Dom Bucky. Sub reader. Bucky's kinda rough. But also super sweet and concerned. Use of safe signal(?) like a safe word but nonverbal. Brief after care. Loosely Implied fingering/penetration afterwards. Like zero plot. Porn without Plot/Plot? What plot? Mildly dubious consent (not really, but I just want to be safe with my warnings!)

Please comment if you think I missed anything!

A/N: This is like my second or third time writing actual smut, please give me grace— Also I had this idea while sleep deprived and I'm currently stuck in artists/writers block so it's probably not my best work. But, I tried. This was written on my phone and not proofread, so I do apologize for any and all mistakes/typos.

A/N #2: I have absolutely nothing against any religions or religious people, and this is not meant to offend or target anybody in any way, shape, or form!

I do not own any characters mentioned in this story or the gif.

Dividers by @cafekitsune

18+!!! MINORS AND PEARL CLUTCHERS PLEASE DNI!!!

You were never a very religious person, having loose beliefs that you didn't necessarily align with anything specific, and you were fine with that, but that all changed one day, and in the way you least expected it. The day you first hooked up with Sgt. James Buchanan Barnes, or, as you knew him, Bucky, your best friend. You swear that night you might've been to Heaven, or Valhalla, or maybe even reached Nirvana, but whatever it was, it was caused by the super soldier Avenger fucking you into oblivion, with a godly body and otherworldly skills. Not only does he look like some mythical god, but he has the skills and the strength of one too. A god among men.

Bucky is a complicated man; He doesn't talk much, but once you get him going, he could talk to you for hours. He is tall and broad, dark and brooding, with a glare that could kill, but also sweet and soft, caring and considerate, with a smile that makes you weak in the knees... So, when your relationship evolved into something sexual, it wasn't a surprise when his prowess matched his godly looks. His quick wit matched by his skilled tongue. Strong hands matched with his (surprisingly) nimble fingers. He's also a kinky mother fucker.

Today, after Bucky got back from a rough, week long mission, apparently most of the team getting their asses kicked, you found yourself on your knees in front of him, naked, wearing nothing back a black leather collar and a silver chainlink leash, your head resting on his lap as he gently pets your cheek with his flesh hand.

"Doll," Bucky's voice is low, lower than usual, and it sends shockwaves of desire coursing through you, shocking your core.

"Yes, sir?" Your voice is soft, quiet, and shaky, a mix of nervousness, arousal, and hours of teasing from this man, this god, making you weak, your voice a minute version of it's usual sound, making Bucky chuckle.

You look up at him through heavy eyelids, your eyes raking up his body hungrily; He's wearing black sweatpants, no shirt, and you're not entirely sure about boxers. His long hair is tousled, the dark locks resting on his broad shoulders, the otherworldly muscles rippling under his skin covered in scars, his normally bright blue eyes darkened to an almost eerie tungsten blue. He's a literal god. The epitome of divinity.

"You've been so good~" Bucky practically purrs, and you already feel your abdomen tightening. "But not good enough."

Well shit.

You're definitely not getting what you want tonight.

"Talk to me, Kätzchen. Tell me what you're thinkin' about." You hesitate, but you know better than to directly disobey.

"I..." You look down, biting your lip. "I was thinking about you... H-How beautiful you are, James..."

Bucky smirks. This wasn't what he was expecting. "Oh?"

You simply nod. "Do elaborate, Kätzchen." Bucky quirks a brow, and you fight the urge to squirm in embarrassment.

"Y-You..." You sigh, deciding to bite the bullet. What's the worst that could happen? He laughs at you and uses it against you? That'd suck... but it would be a lot worse if you didn't speak. Those are always back. You don't want another spanking...and definitely not the crop. Yeah, no, that'd be bad. Better spit it out.

"You're fuckin' beautiful..." You practically whimper, and Bucky smirks.

"I know you've got more than that, sweetness." Bucky teases, and you know he's right. He's always right... It's unfair. How can a man possibly be so attractive and smart? You're starting to think he might actually be a higher power. "C'mon, doll, don't make me hit it outta ya."

Shit. That's a threat. "You're... You're a god among men, Sir... Divinity in itself... Crafted from the finest of marbles known to man... I want to submit everything I have to you."

Bucky simply smirks.

Uh oh.

"Is that so, Kätzchen?" You swallow hard, nodding, watching his eyes stare into yours with an intensity that could burn you to the ground. Yup. Definitely a god.

"Y-Yes, Sir... I... You are my god, James..." Oops. Normally Bucky doesn't take kindly to being called his name during scenes, but for some reason, he just smirks and lets it slide. That's different.

"I want my body to be your altar, your temple, your church... I am your devotee..." You whisper softly, your voice shaky and almost nervous, scared, although you're unsure what you're scared of.

"Darling..." Bucky growls, his pupils dilated so much you can barely see the ring of blue, his vibranium hand clenching on lap, his breathing picking up, that beautiful, chiseled chest rising and falling faster by the second, sweat starting to bead on his skin... You did that?

"You have such pretty lips, yet such nasty words..."

Bucky's Vibranium hand moves to the back of your neck suddenly, grabbing you by the nape of it, pushing your face into his clothed crotch, allowing you to feel the feverish heat, the wet spot on his sweats, and the rock that is his cock. "I'm not gonna last long if you keep sayin' shit like that, doll."

You whimper. Loudly. Pathetically. Lewdly. What the fuck else are you supposed to do? You just mentally brought THE Sargeant James Barnes to his knees from just a few sentences, you don't know whether to be terrified or proud... But, either way, you're not given much time to decipher how you feel, as Bucky starts to rub the side of your cheek against his strained length, the rough cotton of his sweatpants irritating your sweat shined cheeks.

"You're gonna be a good little devotee. You're gonna listen, you're gonna do as told, and you're gonna take what I give you, like a good cock slut."

Bucky's voice is a deep, dangerous growl, the sound rumbling through his chest, rolling down his abdomen and vibrating through him and into you, shooting electricity through your body, your nerves immediately on fire, your thighs quaking, your mind reeling into the abyss of lust.

"Aren't you, Kätzchen?" Bucky says with a groan, looking at you expectantly, a dark smirk on his face.

"Y-Yes, Sir... I will... I'll b-be good..." You whimper out, look up at him with doe eyes, fighting the urge to look down as he slides his sweatpants to his ankles, tossing them aside.

Bucky gently cups your chin with his vibranium hand, the dark metal shining in the dimly lit room as he puts his thumb against your lips, grinning at the feeling. "Open."

You immediately do as told, parting your lips, slowly swirling your warm tongue around his thumb as he slides the cool metal into your mouth, causing Bucky to groan sorry... It's moments like these when Bucky is most grateful to Shuri for creating touch sensors in the arm, allowing him to feel everything you do to his Vibranium arm... Wakandan technology truly is incredible.

"That's a good little whore..." Bucky groans as he uses his thumb in your mouth to tilt your head down, your eyes widening as they meet the sight of Bucky's cock.

Huh. He wasn't wearing any boxers.

"Let this be your first sacrament, devotee." Bucky chuckled.

Long. Impressive. Intimidating. Yet another reason you're starting to think he might actually be a god. No matter how many times you see it, swallow it, and take it, it's always just as intimidating as the first time. His cock is tall, curving slightly as it goes up, getting redder until it gets to the almost purple tip, your hand barely able to wrap around the girth, one large vein going from the shaft to the tip, where creamy pre-cum is beading. You might as well be salivating...and shaking in fear.

"C'mon, doll, I know you can take it." Bucky purred, wrapping his vibranium hand in your hair, guiding your face to rub against his length. It's almost humiliating. But it's also beyond arousing.

"Yes, sir." You mutter softly, licking your lips, raising your head when Bucky loosens his grip on your hair. You spit on the head of Bucky's cock, causing it to twitch where it stands, before gently wrapping your mouth around the tip, your tongue swirling around the tip, teasing the slit, causing Bucky to groan.

"Your god is losing patience, Kätzchen." Bucky growls, before tightening his vibranium hand in your hair, violently pushing your head down his cock, his length forcefully sliding down your velvety throat, only stopping when your nose is flush with his pelvic bone, groaning as he revels in the feeling, hissing as his head falls back in pleasure. "Shiiiit— So warm, Kätzchen...like fuckin' silk, doll..."

To nobody's surprise, you choke, choke hard, coughing around Bucky's member, who simply enjoys the way your throat constricts when you do so. Tears quickly form, as you try to focus on relaxing your throat and taking deep breaths in through your nose, but are quickly cut off as Bucky pulls your hair back, sliding your mouth off his length before pushing your head back down.

"Fuckin' perfect... gorgeous little devotee..." Bucky groans, starting to roll his hips as he continues to roughly guide your head up and down his cock, face fucking you as you cry and choke. Yup. You definitely fucked up calling him James.

Bucky had been tense since he texted you from the Quinjet, so when he starts to throb in your mouth rather than usual, you're not necessarily surprised, that mission really took a toll on him. You hollow your cheeks, and start gently scraping your teeth against Bucky's length as he continues to thrust into your face, his balls slapping against your chin with every snap of his strong hips.

"That's it, Kätzchen, worship me, your fuckin' god-"

Fuck, you were dizzy.

Your eyes start to roll back, head feeling fuzzy, your body seeming heavier, the restricted intake of oxygen starting to get to you, as more tears fall, but being the absolute bitch you are for Bucky, you're determined to make him cum before taking a breather.

"C'mon, babydoll, I'm so close... Lemme cum in your pretty little mouth... Let me desecrate the perfect altar that is you..." He groans, his hips snapping harder, shuddering at your teeth scraping his skin, only to be soothed by your hollowed cheeks and hot throat.

Your vision was starting to get fuzzy around the edges, but you still didn't communicate your need to breathe... Instead, you move your hands up to cup his heavy balls, massaging them roughly as you suck harder at his length.

That was all it took.

"Fuck!"

Bucky growls, the sound dark and primal, sending jolts of pleasure to your deprived body, his flesh hand joining his vibranium one in your hair, holding you uncomfortably flush to his skin as his cock throbs, pulsing rapidly as rope after rope of hot cum spills down your throat, your hands still massaging his balls as they empty into you, your muscles working overtime to swallow it all... Since being with him, you found that super soldiers have loads like damn fire hydrants. Not that you're complaining. Usually.

"Baby... Ughhh—" You had expected Bucky to pull you off his cock once he finished, but he didn't, instead he held you flat to his pelvis, basking in the feeling of your hot, velvet throat surrounding him, groaning and growling in pleasure.

You couldn't do it. Your vision was completely blurred, tears still falling, your feelings like concrete, sweat pouring down you, your mind fogged like shower glass. You take your right hand, tapping your index, middle, and ring finger on his thigh three consecutive times.

He immediately pulls your head off his length, pulling you up to his lap as you cough and suck in heavy breaths.

"Doll? Doll, are you alright? Did I hurt you?" Bucky asks hurriedly, his vibranium hand holding you close to him and rubbing your back, while his flesh hand gently holds your face. "Darling, can you hear me? Are you okay?"

It takes you a few moments to process his words, as they sounded more like mumbles from underwater at first. But, as your vision cleared, your tears stopped, the fogginess left your mind, and your breathing started regulating, you finally registered his words and nodded yes. "Y-Yeah... I- I'm fine..." You murmur with a raspy voice, your throat scratchy from the rough blowjob.

Bucky sighed in relief, brushing away your tears with his flesh hand, peppering kisses on your face. "Alright..." He didn't sound too convinced, worried he hurt you, but decided to focus on cleaning you up and caring for you.

He grabbed the pack of baby wipes from the table next to the chair you two are on, taking one out, gently wiping your flushed face clean of the saliva, sweat, cum, and tears. He then opened a bottle of water, gently holding it to your lips. "Have some water, baby." He murmurs as he helps you take small sips, putting it down after about ¼ of the bottle is gone.

"There you go, Kätzchen...You did so good, I'm so damn proud of you, love." Bucky praised softly, pulling you closer to his chest and rocking side to side gently.

"Th-Thank you..." You murmur quietly, your voice still a little raspy, as you tuck your head in Bucky's neck, your sweat covered bodies moulding together, as Bucky's flesh hand slowly creeps down to your sex. "Time for your reward."

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staytinyville · 2 days

Text

Daechwita (Burn It Pt. 2)

↣ Summary: You were only a decoy for all those who wanted your family off the throne. The real leader was your horrible sister who ruled with fear in their subjects. You only did what was told of you and if others came to assassinate you then so be it.

↣ Characters/Pairing: Min Yoongi x Reader, Slight Jungkook x Reader,

↣ Genre: Historical, Mature

↣ AU/Trope info: Historical!au, Queen!Reader, Rebel!Yoongi,

↣ Word Count: 6.1k

↣ Warnings: Abuse, Toxic household,

↣ A/N: This turned into a four part miniseries. I swear I can’t stick to anything bro. I still need to finish the other series. I swear I’m still on them. I just haven't gotten the energy to sit down and write full chapters. All I got is the conversations.

Staytinyville’s Permanent Taglist

↣ Affiliates: @k-labels , @k-vanity

↣ Special Thanks: Thank you @saradika-graphics for the amazing banners! Please go check her out if you have specific banners in mind. She is great!

“Hello, Jeongguk.” You smiled when the man bowed his head as he entered your room.

You weren’t someone who took concubines in for the hell of it. You didn’t like to use people in that manner and especially not taking them from their home against their will. However with the way your parents saw themselves and wished to present the way you looked to the public they made you take the boy in. Even if you didn’t look for his company the same way your family looked at their concubines he was still forced to be at the palace.

“Hello, your grace.” The boy gave you a large smile, his lips pulling over his teeth.

“Such a lovely boy.” You cooed, squishing his cheeks together.

He whined, trying to pull back from your ministrations but ultimately giggled at your doting nature. You had grown to love him. He was someone who looked at you with bright eyes and made you want to continue on going for his sake. It was you between him and the others who saved them from your family's wraths. You were the only one who truly cared about them.

“How are the others?” You asked, giving him a smile.

“They've been okay. Princess Munhee hasn't called for them. She's been too busy with some other men to pay them any mind. They are more than happy about that.” Jungkook explained.

You sighed deeply, shaking your head. “I surely hope she doesn't gather more concubines.”

Turning back to him, you gave him a kind smile, making him flush. “I've asked for you because I would like some information.”

“Anything for you.” He quickly spoke.

“There is a rebellion going on that plans on taking the throne from me.” You told him.

“That can't be right—”

“Jeongguk.” You interrupted softly. “I want you to be honest with me.”

You looked down, feeling upset over how you had asked something of him. “I know I took you from your home and brought you to this terrible life—”

“I wanted to come with you.” He stopped you, before you could continue. “You gave me the choice to come here–unlike Taehyung and Jimin.”

It had been an expedition your family had been taking when you came across all of them. Jungkook and Jimin were from one village and Taehyung from another. The expedition was meant to strengthen the royal family's ties to everyone in the kingdom. Showcase to everyone who would watch that they were proper rulers.

All a lie it was for the people. Blindly following false words of kindness. Especially the families of the concubines.

Jimin and Taehyung had been bought from their families. Munhee wanted the both of them the moment she laid eyes on each. Giving their families a hefty sum of money for each of the boys who didn't want to go with them. You remember those days clearly. If only because it was you who had gone to the families to ask for them as your own concubines.

It made you cry on those nights. The way the two boys would look at you when they were placed in the hands of Munhee the first night. There was so much hatred in them–each bruise that was marred on their skin that you could see. It made you sick to your stomach to know that it wasn’t just you anymore who was left under the tyranny of your family.

You tried your best to keep them from getting hurt–caring for their wounds and making sure they were well taken care of behind your sister’s back but there was only so much you could do.

“They must hate me—”

“They could never!” Jungkook stopped you. “Maybe in the beginning but they know the real you now. The one who takes care of them after the princess was too rough.”

“They love you so much. I love you. I will do everything you ask of me.”

Your heart stopped for a moment, feeling like there was something grabbing a hold of it only to crush it. It was but a moment that you were brought back to the night Agust was going to kill you. The time when you wanted him to drag the knife along your neck.

But yet here was this man who claims to love you enough to do anything you ask of him. You had never seen any of the concubines as more than just those you cared about. It wasn’t in your nature to fall in love with someone because of the life you used to live.

Now you knew though, no matter what you had to stay to make sure these boys and the people would never fall into the hands of your family. Who would be there to save them if it wasn’t you?

“I don't need you to, Jeongguk.” You smiled softly. “I just need you to look like my pretty boy.”

“You asked me about the rebellion. Did something happen?” He asked with worry, his eyebrows pinching together.

“Nothing that should worry you.” You told him. “However I do want to ask about a man who I believe might be part of it. I don't know his name but I have seen him before. He has a scar running down his right eye. He's young though, with long blonde hair. Namjoon told me you might know his name.”

“You must be talking about Min Yoongi. He goes by the name August so no one could find out his identity.” He easily answered you, no hesitation within his voice.

“I see.” You mumbled to yourself.

“Thank you Jeongguk.” You pulled his cheek so that you could lean in to give him a kiss. “You mean so much to me–all of you do.”

“You're our queen. We will make sure no harm comes to you.” The boy bowed his head, a bright flush along his cheeks that made you smile.

After he left you alone, you began to scheme about how to start with your plans. The first task was getting that guard to understand you were on his side. As well, he was going about things all wrong. You had a kingdom to save and people to command. For once you were finally going to be the real queen you were meant to be.

And the starting point was having Min Yoongi join the court.

“Min Yoongi.” You spoke to yourself.

“You're grace.” Yoongi bowed his head, turning to watch as the eunuch closes your study door.

Once he is out of earshot, Yoongi relaxes his shoulders, striding over to the desk you were kneeling next to.

“Good.” You spoke up, looking at him. “I would like to speak to you about something.”

“I have decided to add another guard to my personnel. I wanted to know if you knew of anyone who was capable.” You spoke, looking over some documents.

It felt odd to finally start looking into the things the council shares with you without your father quickly taking them from your hold to do himself. However you took it upon yourself to do it all in secret. Helping the kingdom to thrive and send money where it needs to go. Go over trials that needed attention which you knew were going to easily go unpunished.

It made you understand more just how much corruption was truly within the palace. And you first wanted to start with getting rid of your family before moving on to the council members on your father’s roster.

“I might know some people.” He told you, making you nod.

Your eyes moved along his face out of instinct, trying to find anything that might be wrong with him. There wasn’t any injury that you could see over his clothes–his scar was still the only thing that stared back at you. When you realized you had spent too much time looking over him, you cleared your throat and looked away.

“How has my sister been treating you? You asked.

“Like I'm not there–which I am grateful for.” He shrugged. “She is very—”

“Sinister. Evil. A tyrant.” You prattled off out of habit, rolling your eyes. “We all know.”

You didn’t really give him any reason to think about what you could’ve been like before he had entered your life. As far as he knew, you were only an emotionless doll that seemed to allow her family to speak over her at certain events.

But he couldn’t help but be curious over who you were before he had tried to kill you. You were still you–it was clear in the way he would see you care for the other people within the palace court. You didn’t get upset when they would cower before you, trying to get away as fast as possible. So far the only ones who didn’t try to run from you were the concubines who claimed to be in love with you.

The way you spoke though made him think that you weren’t someone who allowed others to walk all over them. You knew how to work people–how to get them to listen to you without having to cause fear in their hearts. It left him baffled to know that you were someone who waited for death with open arms.

“Do you ever get tired? Of having to put up with them?” He asked.

“That's why you're here isn't it?” You answered.

“I thought the only way to escape their hands was by death. It was inevitable because I knew about the rebellion—even they knew. That's why I'm just the decoy for their schemes.” Your voice was soft, reminding Yoongi of your first meeting.

“And the day you die though? They won't have that chance anymore.” He told you.

“They won't but that wouldn't be my issue now would it.” You smiled softly.

Yoongi’s lips turned downward as your eyes took on something familiar to him. It left an ache in his chest making him feel uncomfortable with the way you looked at him. He couldn’t stand to see that kind of look pass behind your soul. It reminded him of his own ways that he was too scared to let go of. A reminder of his own feelings of hoping for a swift ending to his story.

“So you'd rather leave your people in the hands of demons?” He frowned.

“Don't they see me as a demon as well?” You asked him. “There are only two other people who know the truth about my position and you're one of them.”

“But the other staff? Don't they see your family beating you?” He wondered out loud.

“They just assume I'm a tyrant because I am treated poorly by my family. Lots of things are easier when you allow people to believe what they want.” You spoke calmly.

You had ideas brewing in your head. Ideas that you wanted to put into action. Yoongi knew that the moment you looked at him without emotions as you found him standing in line with the other warriors waiting to be chosen as a new royal guard. It seemed in the months he had been training to get the chance to stand in the palace courtyard you had changed your mind over the idea of death.

It wasn’t something hard to do, but Yoongi did want to know why you chose to change things after almost being assassinated.

“So why change now?” He questioned.

“Because I thought about the people I'd leave behind without so much as a word. I'm not ready to give up yet. I learned that thanks to you.”

Your words left him even more confused but he didn’t dare to question you further. “If you want me to put another knife to your throat for a new idea don't be afraid to ask.”

You had kept him in your study for a bit longer, pouring a drink for the both of you as you got to know your new companion. It had been a few weeks since he started to work with the others and you didn’t really got the chance to know how he worked. You figured it was best to know the person who was going to help kill your family.

“Your name? Agust, what does it mean?” You asked him.

“I am from Daegu. It's a name I used to have backwards.” He waved you off, not giving him more about the life he lived before coming to the capital.

“That's interesting.” You hummed, not wanting to make him uncomfortable.

“What about you? Where do you get your personality from, if not your parents?”

His question made you look up with wide eyes, pressing your lips together as the alcohol in your system seemed to make you buzz. It wasn’t that you had a lot to drink, you only took a few sips every couple of minutes while he had already drowned three cups of soju. You weren’t going to be challenging him to a drink contest anytime soon.

“I was taken care of by a nanny.” You answered. “I never really got the chance to be with my parents because they were too busy with Munhee. I was the smallest of us so naturally I was the weakest–at least in their eyes.”

For the past hour he had watched you make faces to yourself, acting like a child who was having an internal monologue. There were questions he knew you wanted to ask him but you would stop yourself for fear of overstepping. He saw you let go of your emotionless facade and take on the one he knew you hardly got the chance to show others.

He wondered who your real friends were when you were an actual child. He knew your guard had been there for you for years from what Namjoon had told him. If he got the chance to see you act this way in private. It left a stale taste in his mouth to know that you have suppressed this part of you so much that you had to be inebriated in order to feel relaxed enough to show the wonder/curious part of you.

“Being kind and gentle doesn't mean being weak.” He told you.

You looked up from under your lashes, catching his stare on your face. “It doesn't. Between Munhee and I though, I do believe I got the best brain.” You sat up straight with a smile on your face as you thought about yourself.

“Let's hope your plans work out then.” Yoongi smirked.

“If it doesn't, I hope you can continue.” You told him, making him frown.

You might have been buzzed but there were parts that would go back to thinking about the present. You weren’t out of it completely but when Yoongi was able to catch you off guard he was able to see into the real you. So to hear you speak so depressing over something like this it made him want to bring back the person you were.

“I promise nothing will happen to you.” He said without thinking.

You completely froze, slowly looking up at him with wide eyes that seemed to almost have tears in them. You mouth fell open just a bit as you tried to keep from making your lips tremble.

“Why make that promise?” You spoke softly.

“Because there are people who care about you. Ones who want to see you rule the kingdom correctly.” He explained quickly.

“You hardly know me.” You scoffed. “How do you know I'd do the right thing?”

“I’m expecting you to give me a reason.”

“This is Hoseok, your grace.” The man in question bowed his head and had a stiff smile on his face as he watched you look around the home.

It was a typical home found throughout the capital, one that was meant for someone of noble status. Yoongi had told you and Namjoon on the way to his home that he shared it with two other men–one of which was going to be your new guard alongside Namjoon.

WHen you finally turned to look at the man, you noticed how tense he was. The smile was forced, you realized, but a smile nonetheless. You gave him a kind on back, clasping your hands together as you were taught. Even if you weren’t properly trained to be queen you were trained in how to act like one.

“I would hope Agust has told you how things are.” You immediately got to the point, seeing as you didn’t want to go through the process of waiting to explain things.

The quicker the better.

“For the most part. Why do you want a member of the resilience to be your personal guard?” He asked, frowning his eyebrows.

“Same reason you're in the resilience. I have people to get rid of.” You spoke out loud, causing him to furrow his eyebrows together.

He tried not to turn his nose up, glare on his face that intimidated you just a bit. “You're willing to bloody your hands?”

“It's better than having them bruised.” Your voice was soft, causing him to suck in a quiet breath as he got caught in the look that passed behind your eyes.

He glanced over to Yoongi who sighed deeply as he nodded his head slowly.

“Your majesty?” A voice spoke up behind Hoseok as some people came out from the home.

Taehyung looked at you with curious eyes, while Jimin held onto his arm to help him down the home’s patio. Jungkook softly shuffled behind a taller man who was watching with a confused look as the queen stood in his yard.

“Boys? What are you all doing here? I thought I had sent you all to a physician?” You questioned, shoving past Hoseok who brought his arms in to keep from touching you.

The action made him even more confused as he looked over at Yoongi once more. Yoongi only chuckled, walking behind you to reach the concubines who had walked out with a broad shoulder man. Namjoon calmly walked closer to the younger boys, eyes scanning them for any signs of injuries as he usually did.

“The doctor we go to is here.” Jimin spoke up, bowing his head when he made eye contact with you.

“Who?” You asked, looking over at the other man.

“My name is Seokjin. It's nice to meet you, your majesty.” He bowed his head pursing his lips as he took in the guard that seemed to fuss over the boys.

“Jeongguk told us to come here. He says Jin Hyung is a great doctor.” Taehyung answered, giving you a stunning smile as his hand rubbed at his ribs.

“Why thank you Jungkookie.” Seokjin cooed, pinching the younger boy's cheeks.

“I'm glad to know you were all taken care of.” You smiled, bowing your head in thanks to the doctor.

His eyes went wide as he stood up straight from seeing you smile at him and give him a compliment.

“Right, wouldn't want the queen's concubines to be hurt.” He said stiffly.

He suddenly sighed, looking between you and Taehyung with anxiousness. “I get they are yours to do as you please but I ask that you are careful with them for a bit—”

“We aren't her majesty's concubines.” Taehying stopped the doctor without manners. “It was Princess Munhee who broke my ribs.”

“She broke your ribs!?” You shouted, mouth falling open as the others flinched from your shout. “I just thought it was a normal bruise! Taehyung, why didn't you tell me how bad it actually was!?” You fussed, hands quickly pressing the boy's cheeks between your palms.

Taehyung began to pout, his lips protruding out but he still basked in the attention you were giving him.

“Jimin!?” You whined, turning to the round faced boy who gave you a soft look.

“We didn't want to worry you.” He spoke softly as always.

“Nonsense! You live in my home! You are mine to take care of.” You demanded, looking back over at Taehyung who looked at you with wide eyes.

“We're yours?” Jungkook whispered, a blush settling on his face as he grew closer to you.

You began to stutter, looking between all of the seven boys waiting for an answer from you. “Well, you live in my palace. I have to take care of you.”

“You don't–you just choose to.” Jimin sighed, quickly stepping in so as to not let the others hope for anything.

“Come on, we'll see you at home.” He told you, nodding his head in a bow.

Your eyebrows pinched together as you felt a pang in your chest over Jimin’s dismissive behavior. As he carefully moved Taehyung with the help of Jungkook, you shuffled your feet to follow after them but Namjoon spoke up.

“We should get going as well. Don't stay for too long, Agust.” Namjoon spoke up, holding his arm out for you to take.

“What is the queen up to? Asking us to be guards in the royal palace.” Hoseok sneered, glaring at the retreating figures of the royal court.

“I would assume it's nothing good.” Jin sighed, worried about the concubines and their injuries.

“Not for the queen.” Yoongi spoke up, turning to look at them. “I'm still going to finish my mission.”

“Are you sure about this?” Hobi asked.

“I'm more positive now than I ever was.” Yoongi nodded his head.

“Those men really care for her. I've never seen any concubines who are in love with their masters.” Jin explained, remembering about the conversations he had with all three of them over how you had sent them to see the doctors.

It was Jungkook who had walked into his home asking for help for a fellow concubine. Teahyung was shuffling slowly with a hand on his ribs as he was being carried by Jimin. Jin had never had to treat Jungkook for injuries to the extent Taehyung had. Before they had begun to explain themselves he assumed Jungkook was just the favorite and hardly ever injured.

But Taehyung had gone on and on over how you had fussed over the large bruise that was forming under his chest. Jungkook followed along with him, nodding and adding in his own statements over how kind the queen was. Jimin stayed quiet a majority of the time only making small comments about how (Y/N) was special to them all.

“Things are not as they seem. That's what I'm coming to learn. I'll catch up with you later, Hobi.”

“Mother is sick. Surprised she hasn't died yet. She's so old. We'll see how she goes later.” Munhee talks to herself in front of her vanity mirror, you keeping her company because she had called for your audience.

She has yet to get to the point but you stood off to the side, trying not to show any emotions as she continued on with her nighttime routine. However when she mentioned your mother, your shoulder straightened up, attention on her.

“Does she need a physician?” You asked.

“I don't know.” Munhee scoffed, waving you off. “I don't wanna get sick with whatever she has so I haven't even gone into that side of the palace.”

“Where is that stupid maid? (Y/N) I need you to do my hair.” She demanded, slamming her hairbrush onto the table.

You walked closer to her, taking the brush softly before combing through her long hair. Your lips twitched at how you wanted to pull on her scalp but you prevent yourself from doing that by thinking about your sickly mother.

“I'll call for one.” You prattled off, talking about getting a doctor for your mother.

“As if you know anyone.” Munhee rolled her eyes, picking at her nails.

“I'm sure Namjoon must. I'll ask him.”

“That reminds me.” She turned in your hold, causing you to let go of her. “I want Namjoon to be my guard. I can't stand to look at that creature. If you picked him you can have him.”

Your eyes suddenly went wide, hands dropping to your sides. Namjoon had been there for you since before you were even queen. He was your one friend through your entire existence that didn't take your kindness for granted but rather appreciate who you were as a person. He was your person–the one who kept you from ending your own life.

You couldn’t possibly give him up.

“I don't think Namjoon would—”

“I don't care what he thinks. I want him as my guard. You will do as I say or there will be consequences.” She threatened, coming to tower over you.

“Of course.” You nodded your head, looking down from her eyes.

“Leave.”

You fast walked to the door, your nose twitching in irritation as you slammed the door open. Yoongi and Namjoon flinched as they waited for you to exit your sister's bedroom to take you back to your own. You couldn’t dare to look at Namjoon too angry with your sister to think about letting him. Tears pooled in your eyes as you thought about it.

“What happened?” Namjoon asked, seeing your upset state.

“Munhee wants you to be her guard.” You spat out.

“What? But I can't—” Namjoon shook his head.

“It's what she wants.” You turned to Yoongi, not wanting to think about Namjoon anymore then you had to less you wanted to cry.

“Mother is sick–she needs a physician.” You told Yoongi.

“I'll call for one—” Namjoon tried to reach out to you, but you pulled away from him.

“No. I'll do it.” You shook your head.

Namjoon looked up at Yoongi, wanting to know what to do. He only shrugged, not getting what was going on. But Namjoon knew you better than anyone. He knew that you didn’t want to look at him for fear of breaking down. He was upset with the whole ordeal but he knew that if you wanted to finish what you started you should do as they ask to keep from raising suspicions.

However that didn’t mean he was pleased with having to move from being your guard.

“You want me to kill her? But that's—” Jin shook his head, sputtering.

“What the rebellion wanted to do.” You told him. “So long as the royal family stands this kingdom will never be free. We will start with the easier ones first. Do what you must.”

With Jin sighing, you turned to take your leave.

“Are you sure you're fit to rule? Seems like you're rushing into this.” Yoongi spoke up, trying to keep up with you.

“You have no idea of what I had to suffer at the hands of those people.” You told him over your shoulder.

“I've lived in the kingdom my whole life. I know what it's like.” When you heard him stop, you turned to see what was keeping him.

“Not when they are meant to be your blood.” You swallowed thickly.

“Family doesn't always mean blood. I've come to learn that.” He told you.

You could imagine he was talking about Hoseok and Seokjin. You didn’t know the full extent of how close Jungkook was to all of them but you knew he cared enough for Jin to take care of them. But still it was nothing compared to what you have.

“I want that. A family who will be there.” You told him.

“Isn't Namjoon always there? The concubines?” He asked.

“I took them from the lives they should've had.” You shook your head, looking down.

“You didn't have a choice. They've each told me the stories of how they got to the palace. How you took them in when Munhee forced them to come with her. They care about you.” He grew closer to you.

“I don't deserve it.” You shook your head.

“It wasn't your fault. You were a victim too.” He spoke quietly, catching your attention.

“Why change your mind now?” You asked, looking up at him.

You felt his body brushing against your hanbok, your fingers twitching at the fabric as you had to hold onto it. Your body began to sway, a cloud falling over your head from how close he was to you.

“I've been here long enough to notice those kinds of things. I'll do whatever you need me to do.” He spoke up, catching you off guard.

“I don't need you to.” You told him, swallowing thickly.

“You can't tell me the same thing you always tell others.” He spoke against your lips, causing you to flinch just a bit.

“We have the same enemy. That's all that matters.”

“I've given her some tea for now. What you should do is hope for the best. I'll gather some herbs to help heal her from within.” Jin told you as he stood up from looking over your mother.

“Where did you say you found this doctor again, (Y/N)?” Your mother asked, finally turning her eyes away from Jin.

“He's the one who heals Munhee's concubines. If he can make it seem like none of them have broken ribs I'm sure he can do wonders.” You spoke up nonchalantly.

“Yoongi, please escort him out.” You told the guard.

The two men bowed their heads, turning to take their leave. As they walked out, you couldn’t help but catch the way your mother eyed Jin’s back with hunger.

“I want him in the concubine quarters.” Your mother spoke up as the door finally closed.

You looked at her appalled, lips turning up. “He's a physician for the town though—”

“I don't care. I want him here—with me.” She demanded, enunciating her words.

You sighed deeply, jaw clenching. “Of course, mother.”

Once more Yoongi flinched as you slammed the door open. His shoulders dropped as he sighed from the way you were seething. Whatever had transpired between you and your mother had you angry like the time Munhee had asked you to give her Namjoon.

“What are you giving her and how long will it take?” You demanded.

Jin raised his brows, looking down at your angry expression. “A few days. The poison is slow acting but with her sickness it will be quicker.” He explained.

“Could I do that to the others?” You asked.

“I don't have much of the tea. But I can see if I can get you more.” He answered.

Your shoulders dropped as you realized the meant he would have to leave the palace. Sadly he no longer had that choice. It made you want to cry once more over how you were going to break it to him.

“You won't be able to. I'm sorry, Seokjin.” The tension that had been clear in your shoulder seemed to go away as you apologized to the older man.

“For what?” He asked.

“My mother—she wants you to be one of her concubines.” You spoke looking down at the ground, tears welling in your eyes.

Yoongi was quick to notice your tone of voice before he grew closer to you, shielding you away from Jin’s eyes.

“Does everyone have concubines here except you? Disgusting, really.” Jin sneered, lips turned up.

Yoongi made you look at him, fingers toying with your own. “We'll find other ways. Don't worry.”

You were woken up by a body suddenly crushing you in your sleep. You thrashed around for a moment before whoever was on top of you placed a knife to your neck. You began to gasp, trying to move your hands to claw at your attacker but they were ahead of you. They held you in their grasp tightly, ready to kill you at a moment’s notice.

It didn’t feel the same. It felt wrong to have the cold metal pressing into your skin. You weren’t ready for death to come at that moment. Not when there were people waiting for you to save them.

“Yoongi.” You cried out. “Yoongi!” You screamed.

The door was slammed open after your first call of his name.

“Your grace!” Yoongi shouted, throwing the man off you.

“Back off!” Yoongi pushed him away from your bed, grabbing at his sword.

“What are you doing!?” The man sneered.

“Me? What are you doing here? I told you all I had it covered.” Yoongi growled, sword held in front of him.

“They sent me to come kill the queen. Something you couldn't seem to do.” The man retorted, looking between you and Yoongi.

“Things have changed. I thought we talked about it. (Y/N) is not part of the assassination.” Yoongi tried to talk the man back down.

“Anyone of the (L/N) family must be eliminated.” The man sneered.

“Not her.” Your eyes flew to Yoongi crawling over the bed to get closer.

“Don't tell me you've fallen for her? You are a disgrace to the rebellion. Just like all the others are.”

He lunged towards Yoongi, knife ready as he tried his best to slash as the royal guard. However Yoongi was a trained assassin since he was a kid, no one could ever come close to what he had been trained to do. However just because he was trained didn’t mean the man wasn’t able to get a knick in.

Once the man got tired, he charged forward with a grunt, ready to strike at Yoongi. However Yoongi wasn’t playing. Not when your life was in danger. So he took the sword and slashed it across the man’s torso ending his life in seconds. As he fell to the ground lifeless, Yoongi began to pant and place a hand over his bleeding arm hissing from the sting.

“Yoongi! Are you okay?” You gasped, rushing to his side as he panted over the dead body.

“I'm fine. It's just some scratches. I've been through worse.” Yoongi spoke quietly, looking over you.

His eyes immediately fell to your neck, hoping that nothing had marred your skin. The scar from his own attempt stared back at him but at least it was reopened. His shoulders dropped their tensions glad to see you weren’t hurt.

“Let me heal you.” You told him, moving him to your bedroll.

You took the same supplies Namjoon had used on you all those months ago. However this time it was you using them on the man who tried to kill you. Yoongi allowed you to move the sleeve of his outfit. Your hands were soft, delicately pulling and pushing at the cut that didn’t seem that deep.

He began to think about how you cared for the concubines. You must have grown to know how to heal others from the amount of times you had gone to them.

“Why did you kill him?” You asked, not daring to meet his eyes.

“He was going to kill you.” Yoongi spoke up, watching you with soft eyes as you cleaned at his wound.

“And?” You questioned.

He snapped his head to you, having thought that you were past wanting to end your life. When your eyes caught his, he saw that you were past that. It was doubt that seemed to be crawling into your head this time around.

“You're a good queen. The people would be lucky to know the real you.” He spoke quietly.

You swallowed thickly at his words. It wasn’t that you felt like you weren’t fit to rule. Rather it was that you weren’t properly educated to be one. You weren’t taught what your sister had been. The only thing you had to go off were your own morals and the ideas of those closest to you. You didn’t know the first thing it took to run a country but you wanted to try your best.

“I don't feel like that.” You said, pulling away once you finished addressing his wound.

“Take it from those closest to you.”

“You included?” You asked, looking up at him.

“I'm just the assassin who was sent to kill you.” He turned to the body that was bleeding out on the floor. “And yet here I am. Always the one who fails.”

He looked vulnerable to you. Like a little boy who missed out on his life because of some evil that came to take him. You didn’t know his past or what he wanted to do in the future but you knew that you wanted him in yours.

“Redemption isn't impossible.”

It took your mother four days to finally pass away. Her body was burned on top of a pile of wood for her funeral as was tradition. You watched as the flames swallowed her wrapped body whole. All seven of the boys stood behind you, watching with expressionless faces just like your father and sister. However, unlike them they knew this was the beginning of the end for the royal family's reign.

Once everyone cried and prayed over the old queen's body, the rest of your family took their leave, leaving you and the boys. Yoongi walked up to your side, Hobi not far behind. You turned your head to look at him.

“My mother was the easiest to get rid of but we still have more to accomplish.”

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