Me going into quarantine: Ah yas, I am very lesbian, only girls and I am probably a girl... or a straight guy Pansexuality: Hi lmao Being nonbinary *opening a rip in the wall*: Are you sure about that

The poor child has his mannequin girlfriend come to life, someone had a happy ending to this pandemic, congratulations 5

Stay 6 feet away from me anyways

Maskfishing

This gorgeous babe will steal the hearts of your bois.

Horror isekai where Perceiving the Weird Eldritch Thing gets you catapulted into a nightmare labyrinth of puzzle-solving.

I.e Those Who Perceive The Hunt of the Goblin King Must Partake In The Labyrinth and Can Only Be Freed If They Complete It In One Day and One Night. By Fae Law. For Reasons.

But the definition of “perception” clearly needs to be updated because some normal guy simply films the Hunt of the Goblin King Behind Arby’s, and puts it on Facebook -

No, not instagram or TikTok, it’s important that it be Facebook -

Because the rules are pretty clear, “the rules are the rules” as is carved ominously in elvish runes above the grim gate, and the Contract is Sealed. and so therefore the guy and 25 of their most random real-life acquaintances must run the gauntlet together. It’s Some Guy, their immediate neighbors, their first partner’s mom, their friends from hobby Facebook groups (oh this poor guy and their hobbies; the elderly birdwatchers from Facebook and the young up-and-coming drag king community), their random teen kid niece, college friends, a dog who also watched the video, a couple consisting of a woman who is the guy’s Facebook friend and showed her husband the video, and the husband doesn’t even know Some Guy, so he’s in the labyrinth and absolutely furious about being forced to be involved, and they proceed to break up over the course of the puzzle.

It’s important that the narrative keeps trying to be a sexy dark horror isekai! but within this the comedic reality of Catherine, 52, the guy’s horse-riding instructor, being passionately involved in escape-room-style puzzle solving and grappling with minor goblins. They are in fact speedrunning the gauntlet.

The Goblin King finally has to say: all right, actually, I only really set all this up to fuck with one (1) guy at a time, thanks for your willingness to participate, but I think all 25 of you can consider the gauntlet fully run.

And the group would be quite hurt by that. The rules are the rules. We have a contract, actually. Let Catherine cook.

sure it was a perfect storm of a pressure cooker but i promise destiel was about destiel

BONUS:

Doctor Beverly Crusher @SpaceDocMom Disability and chronic illness can happen to anyone. Even the health-privileged and abled may one day become disabled and/or chronically ill, especially in your ongoing pandemic. All public health policies should keep this in mind. Protect yourselves and others. emojis: black heart, blue heart, masked x 5 3:31 PM · Mar 21, 2024

i made a meme that kind of violates the geneva convention for you.

When it was quarantine, sure Crowley napped a lot, but also: what if it was DIY time. Presenting to you... the Hand Sataniser, inspired by someone's actual typo during the pandemic. It involved one canva graphic, a lot of text adjustment, unnecessarily complicated disasters with hex codes and colour theory, and voila.

AND YES, THIS MEME PARTIALLY VIOLATES THE GENEVA CONVENTION BY USE OF THE RED CROSS SYMBOL. BUT I HAVE EVADED THAT BY SAYING NO CROSS (IT'S A DEMONIC PUN SEE I'M FUNNY) ANYWAY THAT IS THE LEVEL OF COMMITMENT I HAVE AS GOOD OMENS MASCOT.

Cheers to @arkytiorlecter who said "It's never a war crime the first time!"

Cheers to @orpiknight who started this, then kindly informed me that I was violating the Geneva Convention and then happily proclaimed, "Asmi's an international criminal."

If the reason I finally violate the Geneva Convention is a Crowley meme, then so be it. Such is my passion for the cause. Appreciate me. Uplift me. Enable me. My KoFi is linked in the pinned post. Yes, that last part was a joke. Do you really want to fund an international war criminal?

(no, btw, the answer is typically no)

But let's be real. Like, really real. Like, as real as we can be.

Based on this post, shout out and credit to @theweepingharbinger:

Tfw you find out that WHO estimated 14.8 million COVID or COVID related deaths...in January last year.

"Most of those are natural causes." The natural cause of what? What creates more natural causes to die from than other years? What is the natural cause motherfucker??