Like, I DO think people get too wound up over fictional constructs--that, very pointedly, are not real and whose actions are made up and do not actually affect any real people--doing horrible things in-story, but I also think it's fair for someone to say, "This action sits poorly with me even in a fictional setting, in such an intense way that I cannot move past that or find sympathy for," and "People are saying this bad behavior isn't actually bad, in a way that is meant to be taken seriously and at face-value, and that makes me severely uncomfortable."

Granted, this all gets muddled very easily because that's not what people mean most of the time, they just want to over-moralize fiction and say, "If you like this pRoBLeMaTiC thing for any reason, you are a menace to society" for Superiority Points. (They also like to invent problems that don't actually exist to "prove" that they have the moral high ground in not liking something remember when people tried to say catra/adora was incest because they grew up together because I sure do.) But I feel like there is a split between people who use "[character] apologism" in the sense of "I will be okay with this character doing whatever fucked-up thing they want in the story because I like them" vs "If you find this character compelling or want them to succeed, you would one-to-one condone their actions irl" vs "I have seen people genuinely say, with no joking or irony, that this character never actually caused any type of harm to the other characters within the story, and I don't like that."

Can you write a yandere Sae x male reader smut where reader is flirty with others and makes Sae jealous and bratty? So then reader fucks the brattiness out of him.

𝗡𝗢𝗧 𝗢𝗡 𝗦𝗛𝗢𝗣𝗣𝗜𝗡𝗚 𝗟𝗜𝗦𝗧

✧ 𝖯𝖠𝖨𝖱𝖨𝖭𝖦 male reader x sae itoshi

✧ 𝖶𝖠𝖱𝖭𝖨𝖭𝖦𝖲 light yandere!sae, light violent thoughts (not between sae and the reader), brat!sae, amab!reader, dom!reader, sae calls the reader sir, public, fingering (sae receiving), spanking (sae receiving), some swearing and insults, jealous!reader&sae, voyuer, non-consensual voyeurism

✧ 𝖠/𝖭 nothing to say, just that this was supposed to be much, much shorter (I'll edit this later, so ignore any errors for now)

“'This is so high I can't reach it, can you help me?'” Sae's voice loaded with poisonous sarcasm filled the distance purposely placed between you two. His beautiful green eyes were darkened with a shadow that could alert anyone but you and his arms were crossed in front of his chest, confronting you, mocking you... demanding an explanation.

You held back a sigh as you reached out with one hand to grab Sae's arm and finally close the distance between you. Sae stepped back, avoiding the touch.

“She needed help and I helped, no big deal,” you explained for what felt like the twentieth time since it happened. Maybe it was.

“She was flirting with you,” Sae pressed, his anger an icy, sharp thing. “And you flirted back,” it was an accusation that if was intended to anger you, so it succeeded.

Your temple throbbed with the onset of a headache and you brought your hand back to press against the spot, genuinely trying to understand what part of your interaction with the unknown woman had been seen as 'flirting' by your boyfriend.

The poor woman, who looked barely younger than you, who was kind, gave you a toothy smile and who seemed to follow you down the supermarket aisles for a while before she worked up the courage to ask you for help, wasn't flirting with you by God. And you promptly helped her and then let her engage you in a suspiciously long conversation about how the woman was single and preparing a party to celebrate her new status, believing it would be too rude to cut her off.

Until the figure of Sae, who was completely ignored by the woman, despite standing right next to you, began to analyze the woman from top to bottom, in that way as if pondering how she would react if he put his hands around her neck or broke her fingers - fingers that she continued to touch your arm with - or how easy it would be to find out her address and then... That's when his eyes darkened and you finally ended that conversation.

It wasn't flirting, you thought. You were just being nice, trying to get to know the new neighborhood.

“Don't be childish, Sae,” you said, knowing it was the last thing that would make him calm down.

“Childish?” Sae repeated, his voice rising in tone, seeming not to remember that you two were standing in the middle of a supermarket aisle, or maybe he just didn't care. He wanted to embarrass you, you realized. “You shouldn't have even paid attention when she spoke to you!”

“That's not how the real world works.”

You continued, elbow resting against the shopping cart:

“I moved to the furthest house from the city that we found, don't think that just because I agreed now I'm also going to stop making friends or chatting around. You act like a spoiled child when he receives a new gift, just before breaking it.”

Sae's face turned to stone.

“I'd rather break you than let someone else have you,” he said, as if it were the most normal and passionate thing to admit.

This conversation wouldn't go anywhere, you knew, so instead of standing there and arguing with Sae, you sighed deeply and started pushing the cart. Even without turning back, you knew that Sae was following you, still keeping that pathetic distance between you. Sae's feelings towards you weren't normal, even though most of the time your relationship was as normal as any other. But you saw his darkness, you discovered that all the accidental encounters you had with him and all the familiarities between your and his tastes and hobbies had been faked and yet, you chose to stay.

“You can't just end the conversation at will,” Sae said, without even coming into your line of sight, still stuck on the previous topic. He was angry, so you should be angry too, that's how his reasoning worked. “You know I hate it when you turn your back on me.”

That's it. You snapped.

The cart slid on its wheels a few inches as you let go in favor of turning to face Sae. There, in his eyes, was defiance. And when your hand grabbed the back of his neck, nails digging into the skin beneath the curls of his hair, you saw something else stir there, fear.

“Shut your mouth up,” it was an order.

“What else would you do if I wasn't there? You already let her touch you and rub against you, what was the next step? Fuck her right there in the middle of the market while I was at home or participating in a match?” He stirred faced with the sudden order. Sae was like a wild animal, trying to shift your grip while making the accusation, testing your dominance, testing how far he could go, how hard he could bite you. “You're no better than a whore who can't keep the dick in the pants-”

The anger was heavy and immediate, falling like a stone into your stomach.

“Shut. Up.”

That shut Sae up, but you knew it wasn't enough, that in a few minutes, hours or even a few days later he would bring up the subject again. He needed to be put in his place.

With a firm hand grabbing the back of his head, your other hand fell to Sae's belt, but then, seeing the look of panic that filled his face, a thought crossed your mind and you pulled your hand away. Sae, however, didn't have time to relax before the order came:

“Unbutton your pants.”

“We are in public,” he said, the voice that had once been so loud and commanding now quiet. You both knew how famous Sae was and that even in this small town someone could recognize him. That would end his career.

“I gave you an order, didn't I?”

Sae's hands went down to his pants, the green eyes searching around the empty aisle as his trembling fingers released the button and lowered the zipper. Despite the fear and anxiety on his pretty face, it didn't take a command for him to fit his thumbs into the band of the pants and push them down, as well as his underwear. Obedience under the anxiety and embarrassment, the anger still there even when he asked please. Sae knew how to move his pieces, but you knew how to move him.

Standing in the middle of a supermarket aisle, with his lower body naked, his softening penis hanging between his long, slender legs, Sae was embarrassed. The same embarrassment he wanted to make you feel when he started an argument with you and told you all those poisonous and sharp things.

“[n-name],” he muttered, eyes still roaming around. “Let's go home... ple-please.”

You ignored his whining, that just sounded anxious, not genuine. “Turn around. The faster you comply the faster you can put your pants on and stop someone from seeing your naked ass.”

Sae looked once more for invading looks before obeying. He pressed his hands against the shelf in front of him, his small, round ass facing you.

Your hand fell to one of his pale cheeks. The sound of the slap echoed around. Sae seemed to bite back a grunt.

“I don't need to tell you how bad you were, do I? You know that.” A second slap, in the same place where the previous one had landed. “You chose to irritate me, you chose to insinuate that I would cheat on you with the first person who appear in front of me.” Slap. Slap. Slap. A hard and fast sequence of your hand connecting with his soft ass cheek. “Do you think I'm afraid of you?” you inquired, your tone full of mockery, treating Sae exactly as he was: a spoiled brat.

No response other than grunts and bitten moans came, the hyperawareness of being in public seeming for the first time to do the magic of preventing him from trying to answer you. Sae's slender body seemed to try to run away from the hits, pulling away from your hand, but he didn't get very far between your body and the supermarket shelf. The shirt pooled around his waist, the dark color contrasting with the pink that bloomed on Sae's pale ass.

Your hand rubbed the soft flesh, feeling the skin burn beneath yours. Your fingers dug into his ass, without care or gentleness. And when you squeezed harder, you could see the place between those round, firm cheeks glisten with moisture.

Your laughter sounded like bells under the noise of footsteps, wheels and movement of the supermarket. “Is that why you're all angry and upset and talking to me like that? Because you want to be fucked?”

Sae's ears burned. “Don't treat me like a-” He was interrupted by your index finger pressing against his soft, lubricated hole, previously prepared for you before left the house that afternoon.

“Like what? A whore?” You punctuated the mocking question with your finger plunging inside him hard. “You better lower your tone if you don't want anyone to see us.”

His hole was already relaxed, opening easily to the intrusion, the walls wet and tense just from the current situation. You pulled your finger back and pressed two in, stretching them inside him. Sae made a small whimpering sound in response, his pink cock now hard between his legs, dripping pre-cum onto his own pants, like the pathetic little thing he was.

Sae was muttering something under his breath, a jumble of words and phrases, among which you could make out a 'who do you think you are', but which shortly afterwards turned into a 's-sir... please' when your fingers curled inside him and rubbed against his prostate, eliciting a twitch in his cock.

Your own cock was hard between your legs, pulsing and demanding release, but you knew this wasn't the time or the place, it was pure luck that so far no one had walked in this aisle, and that there was no security camera nearby. Deep down you wished someone would see him, and recognize the famous player now being fingered in public like a cheap whore. And that selfish desire flared up when a small, shocked sound reached your ears.

A third finger sank inside Sae as you recognized the woman Sae accused of hitting on you standing right there at the entrance to the aisle, shocked eyes darting from you to Sae, still completely oblivious to the new spectator as he struggled to be silent while your fingers fucked him the way he loved: hard and deep.

“We have company,” you warned Sae. It took a whole few seconds for him to understand your words and move his face, trying to understand what you were talking about. As soon as his eyes met the woman's, his hole suddenly became tense and tight around your fingers.

“This little pig,” he muttered under his slightly panting breath. There was no shame in any inch of him though - shoulders still high, lips pursed, body still willing under your touch -, it was something different, it was pride. A phantom feeling of being better than most people, but especially better than that unknown woman who had tried to hit on you.

The woman didn't move, feet still on the floor, eyes going from Sae to you, then back to Sae. She seemed to be finally putting the pieces together, regretting offering you her phone number right in front of your boyfriend. But there was also desire beneath it all. She looked at Sae like most people did, as if she was mesmerized by his beauty.

Sae however was jealous and possessive and all he saw there was her wishing she was in his place; have your fingers inside her. “I-I want you to make me cum, sir,” Sae asked, sweet and obedient when faced with a 'rival' and dark and petty at the same time. “So she knows she can't have you. You are mine. You can only touch me this way.”

He was a spoiled brat. But his words made your dick get even harder and you pressed your hips against his ass so he could feel your hardness, to let him know that only he made you hard and hot like that. You thrust your fingers with recovered strength and speed into and out of him, eliciting the most beautiful moans and sighs from Sae's mouth, calling him 'mine', 'good boy' and 'pretty whore' while rubbing your digits against the sweet walls, attacking his prostate.

The display of passion and eroticism could have lasted minutes or hours, until Sae's legs contracted and his hole tightened, erratic hips rocking back against your fingers and when you pressed your pinky against the wet, supple rim, Sae came. Clear liquid splashed from the pink head of his cock, hitting his pants, which had fallen to his ankles, and the supermarket floor. The wetness of the lube covering his hole as if Sae had produced lube on his own, just for you.

Sae's eyes, however, were not on the spectator when he came and neither were yours. You only had eyes for Sae, especially when you saw him feeling pleasure. And Sae only had eyes for you.

Just as the tremors of orgasm shook Sae's legs, however, and his hole began to convulse around your fingers, you leaned in to place a kiss on the side of his neck, feeling the salt of his sweat and the bitter of the perfume - your eyes went briefly to the woman standing a little distance, who faced with reality blushed and ran away, but not before you saw wetness dripping from beneath her skirt.

“I think she had a little too much fun with our show,” you said to Sae, fingers moving in and out of him again with delicious slowness. “But she can't have you.”

“Ah- she can't have you too,” Sae said back, almost daring you to say otherwise, the wobbly legs forcing him to lean on the shelf.

Maybe that was why Sae never scared you, you were starting to understand. You were a lot like him in some ways. You rubbed his ass where the impact of the slaps had already softened from red to light pink to match his cute hole.

“No. She can not.”

we finished ep10 and i neeeed to say some shit.

of course they'd bring missouri back just to kill her. i'm the idiot for believing they'd actually do something fun with her.

i've only had jack for 9 episodes and i would genuinely die for him. not even joking. he's the only good thing to come out of the bunker era. also. mama bear sam??? wow. i don't know how i feel about dean yet- i know he grows fond of jack later, but i don't think i've ever seen him treat anybody like this. at least not people who didn't deserve it... it's weird.

oh god. they did that for me actually. my cringe little girl. he looks soooo dumb and its so so hot. i love the boots. i love it when he cosplays. i love that they had absolutely NO privacy in that motel. wow.

4. i want ketch gone. not in a "ohhh he's so evil i want him gone!" way. it's a "please please erase everything BMOL-related from existence" way. i don't like him, the only thing he brings to the table so far is mentioning rowena. but i genuinely hope he's here just for a few episodes until something kills him.

5.e8.... happened. i guess it was....... different. e9 and... uh. dinosaurs? i HATED the camera movement, though. there's that.

6. what the fuck was up with dean forcing kaia to get in the car. holy fuck. i know we're supposed to believe its because he's doing whatever he can to bring his mother back but.... jesus. he just. wouldn't do that. it was genuinely devastating to see him act like that- it crossed too many lines.

7. holy fuck. holy fuck WAYWARD SISTERS. ugh, so many feelings. we could not shut up while watching. it was sooo much fun and such a cool way to get the girls together!! i love that you can tell they have different dynamics w each other- it feels real. there's a gentleness in claire that she shows to the "new girls" of the gang, cool big-sister vibes that she uses to calm them down, ease them into it. and another one, deeper, reserved just for her sister alex. when alex and claire are talking you can FEEL the years of growing up together. they've said some nasty things to each other, you just know it. and yeah i ship it. but: it does sting that they've been building all these great female characters who are strong and funny and smart and caring, and then proceeded to give them an episode that felt.... ugh, i don't know. i hate the word performative, but i just wish it had been treated with more seriousness? like. give them a scary looking monster, at least. let them look messy. i couldn't stop looking at claire's perfectly curled hair throughout the whole episode. they're beautiful women, i already know that, they would look pretty even if you roughen them up, i promise. it felt like the show kept repeating "wow these women are BAD-ASS, right? right!? they shoot guns!" in a way that they never needed to with jo or ellen or fuck, jody. one look at ellen and i was straightening my back, man. i miss that. i miss characters that didn't need to show their scars to show how bad-ass they are.

Anyways. I hated season 12. But it was something. And it showed the hunter world outside of Sam and Dean, something I missed a lot. With season 13 I can officially say I'm just here to watch Jensen Ackles' mouth moving. That's it. Asmodeus might have been a fun character for a video game. I hate him in this show. I want Mary gone, or at least I want someone to remember who Mary Winchester is and write her as such. Kevin was there for a moment, that was cool. Mark Pellegrino was not paid enough.

No please don't be delusional like j2 stans and making theories if misha had to be there he would have said something. Either say who gave this information to you so that there is no room for doubt or don't say anything at all. Just my humble opinion as a cockles shipper here.

Learn to read, asshat, I literally shut down the tinhatting. Misha was there. Period. I don't care if you like it. Cope.

your opinion isn't "humble" if you attach that leading shit. You're wrong. He was there. And his reason for "hiding" is you assholes not respecting him as a human being that might want to not be bothered. Just like my fucking source doesn't want to be bothered for your entitlement. Just like I don't want to be bothered for your entitlement.

What part do you entitled douchecanoes not understand that you, personally, are not entitled to fucking every bit of when where and how someone learns something? If you were trustworthy and in contact you'd already know. Don't come at me on anon because you're mad YOU weren't personally told.

Nobody has to prove SHIT to you idiots. Take it or leave it. DON'T BELIEVE ME? THAT'S FINE. I'M PERFECTLY OK WITH YOU BEING WRONG.

If you want to start getting told how people know things, engage like a normal person to the point people trust you enough to tell you shit.

Entitled assholes and mindsets JUST LIKE THIS is WHY he would hide and not want seen and swamped by dickbags that can't see beyond their own engagement potential. No conspiracies of secret relationships needed.

Genuinely what kind of entitled headass mindset even led you to THINK to stunt like this in my inbox in a post where I literally said "take it or leave it, believe it or not, grain of salt if you want." All this tells me is you know I'm telling the truth and you're big mad you don't have the receipts, and that's a personal problem. "PROVE IT TO ME!!" WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU.

SJDFKDJFK ME: HE WASNT GETTING PAID TO PERFORM OR BE ON FOR YOU TO GIVE YOU WHAT YOU WANT

SOME RANDO ON TUMBLR, NOT PAYING ME: PROVIDE ME THE RECEIPTS WHILE I SHIT ON YOUR RUG, DANCE MONKEY DANCE

ARE YOU HIGH?

THIS. THIS ASK IS THE EMBODIMENT OF WHY HE WOULD KEEP HIS HEAD DOWN.

Okay, seriously though. Why do some people hate Carver so much? Is it just because he joins the Templars if you don't bring him on the expedition? I... always bring him with me on the expedition (Grey Warden, hell yeah! And the shortened life expectancy is fine, the Warden's taking care of it) so I've never seen what he says about it, but I've always assumed it's because he's a Ferelden refugee whose main skill is fighting and who used to be a soldier. It seems like the only real jobs on offer for someone like that are 1. criminal work, 2. joining the guard (if you can get around the prejudice against outsiders which we know exists) and 3. joining the Templars. Criminal stuff is normally a bad idea to get into, especially on your own, and we know he can't join the guard because Act 1 banter between him and Aveline tells us in no uncertain terms that she is actively blocking him from taking that path. Taken from the wiki, just because I still can't believe this is a thing that Aveline actually does, especially when two of her other banters with Carver involve her complaining about his lack of job and his associates:

Carver: Did you approve my application?

Aveline: I can't make you a guard, Carver.

Carver: We were both soldiers. Why won't they take me?

Aveline: I was an officer. And I follow orders.

Carver: (Laughs) No you don't.

Aveline: I also think of others before myself. You seem tired of that, and that's dangerous.

Carver: Just when it's not my choice. You told them not to take me, didn't you?

Aveline: Yes.

(Also: fuck Aveline for saying Carver doesn't think of others before himself. If he didn't think of others before himself he wouldn't be putting himself in danger by helping his apostate sibling and all their companions without any real desire to leave.) He doesn't have any other real options, as far as we know, and while you're out in the Deep Roads keeping Leandra (and probably Gamlen, although I don't think we know how Gamlen kept a roof over his head before Leandra and her children descended upon him so he might have sorted it out for himself) clothed, housed and fed is falling pretty much solely on his shoulders. So he joins the Templars, because what the hell else can he do? He's what, twenty-odd years old, and until Hawke gets back is essentially the sole provider for his family. He needed a job that paid reasonably well and had a decent amount of job security, and he took what he could get, and a lot of people seem to pretty much blindly hate him for that. I don't like that he joins the Templars, but I'm genuinely wondering what people think he should've done instead.

GREAT JOB, TOBIO-CHAN!

"I may not show it, but I'm proud of the heights to which you have rose to. I told you that you were a prodigy right? Was I wrong? Ha! In your dreams. I'm never wrong Tobio-Chan, remember that. Remember that, every time someone tells you something stupid or hurtful. We live in a world were people find it highly joyful trying to pull others down to their level, when they can't reach up to yours. Indian crab psychology, you know. (Disgusting!). Remember that, and leave those haters behind, and move forward.

You will fall. Definitely you will. But you will rise again too, I know you will. You did defeat me in the second Seijoh vs Karasuno match right? That counts for something, I assure you.

I know that you admire me wholeheartedly. Heck, you were the first person to tell me that I was an amazing setter. Genuinely, you know. There were others of course, but they said it with a falseness that was as fake as can be, whereas you, you just said it so simply. Sincerely.

"Oikawa san you're awesome."

Your sapphire blue eyes sparkled everytime you saw me set, steeling my determination more and more, to become the best setter out there. For now I had one more person, who believed in me and my prowess. Someone other than Iwa-chan, who's seen me, trying and trying, right down from our childhood. Someone else who's expectations I had to rise up to. I will of course, and I will defeat you too, Tobio-chan. Touché.

There's also a part of you, a small part that's scared of me. After that day I tried to slap you, and Iwa stopped me, I have always noticed the careful distance you put between us. You also stopped telling me about your daily achievements at the end of the day, probably because you thought it would annoy me, I guess. And trust me, when I say, your not talking openly to me bugged me more than your innocent chatter might have. Can you believe that? Guess I was too used to your sapphire orbs shining, when you talked about that dump you pulled off that fooled even Iwa? Or that spike of yours that sent Kindaichi and Kunimi helter skelter? Anyway, believe me Tobio-chan, I regret that action of mine, now.

For now I know, that just because you're a prodigy doesn't mean you haven't put any hardwork into it. After meeting other prodigies, like that emotionless man mountain of an Ushiwaka, and his wingman, you know that red haired lunatic, what was his name....? Bento? No... Tendou! Ah yes that irksome jerk, always blocking Iwa-chan's perfect spikes! Stupid little Ketchup Top! Not to forget that setter of Inarizaki, the one that calls you Tobio-kun.

Hmph! I still don't approve of him calling you by your first name, of course.

Anyway, I now know that prodigy or not, people who love volleyball, put hours and hours of practice into it and that is how they believe it should be. Sometimes, I even get the feeling, that prodigies might have it harder, because in their minds, maybe, they have to earn their position, as simply being selected because they're a paragon doesn't satisfy their egos. Add to that, their obsession of living on and for volleyball, and volleyball alone.

Heheehee.

So, I guess I'm sorry for that day. Truly.

I want you to believe in yourself, Tobio-chan. I know you do, but do it more and more. Only then will you be able to beat your opponents, including me. Of course I'm the strongest and on a totally different level, so that's not gonna be happening any time soon, gotcha!

Know that I'm proud to call you my first and best student, Tobio-chan, even though, I probably was a bad teacher, in terms of my attitude to you. You were an ideal student and still are, for I can see the sincere respect you have always had for me, in both your eyes and your conduct towards me. Even now. It makes me feel happy. It really does. Thank you for that.

I realize that I'm the one on the pinnacle for you, the one you look up to, so I promise to rise up to that level. And I know that the higher I rise, the higher you will rise too, to catch up to me. That's good. Keep it up. Sometimes you might catch up to me (ugh!), other times you might not be able to. But even then, keep trying. That's what even I do Tobio. I keep trying and trying. But please don't be like me, and overwork your body into braces or casts or crutches please.

Repeated trials and persistence are absolute necessities in this field.

I know you have a slight problem in communicating with your team mates. That's how the King of the Court was born, wasn't it? Me and Iwa figured it out, the moment we heard it from Turniphead-chan and Sleepy-chan. But your persistence paid off, didn't it?

You found a better team right? Karasuno understood you in a way that was probably only rivaled by Iwa-chan. Iwa-chan always understood you best, didn't he? I was kind of jealous of that, sheesh.

Karasuno made you understand what teamspirit was, didn't it? I'm glad. That's the one thing, we both needed to have drilled into our heads. 'The best team of six wins'.

Even so, communication is necessary Tobio-chan. You don't have to be like me or Mr. Refreshing from your team. You just have to inform your team mates of your plans and gauge their capabilities and approach in a game. Don't clam up during a game. It's the one time you have to open up the most.

Of course I'm still competing with you, Tobio Kageyama. I will keep on competing, as I promised. You keep at it too. I like seeing you soaring up and up. Iwa-chan likes it too, btw. God! He was so proud of you when you finally stripped yourself of your title during the first Seijoh vs Karasuno match! He was literally bloating with pride.

Tobio-chan you're doing so good! You aren't my best student for nothing!

So fly up to greater heights. You can do it. There are lots of people who believe you can do it.

I'm might not be able to catch you if you fall, others will. All I can do, is fly higher and goad you on. Give you determination of steel and rock, to resume the climb and reach up to my level. And eventually, you will."

Oh gosh, that post about Saeyoung and his characterization made me want to clap! I once had an argument with one fan who was bashing on him for... 'loving his brother more than he loves us'??? That literally made me feel weirded out. Like, damn. And yeah, a lot of people make him seem more cruel, than he is in canon. I think there's a similar problem with Suit! Like, yeah, he was acting aggressive and harmful - that's undeniable. But... he never really directly hurt us? It's more bark than bite. Well, maybe except for that bite and pushing us on the floor, but in fanon it's always way more extreme than that. I read a few fics where he literally tortures mc and enjoys it, and... it always felt so wrong to me. And I love dark scenarios! I have a few aus myself, but there's always some outside force, that makes them act this way. Like, I can imagine him isolating us or locking us in the room. But I literally cannot imagine him, for example, tying us up and hurting us directly. I genuinely don't believe he's capable of that... Maybe it's just my interpretation of him, I don't really know.

But yeah, I've seen a lot of people in my native fandom, who hate Choi bros, cause they... care for each other?? It's so confusing to me, as a huge Saeyoung fan. Like, his love for his family always made me appreciate him more, why would it push someone away? Of course he should put Saeran first - he's in a cult for Gods sake! It did made me feel a bit upset at the time, when in the Secret Endings we barely got any interaction with him, but it wouldn't feel the same otherwise. I first fell in love with Saeran during the Secret Endings, cause I related to him so much at the time. I just remember crying my eyes out reading his inner thoughts. I think that's why Unknown and SE Saeran are my favourites, haha. And all of that wouldn't be possible if the story was only focusing on our romance with Saeyoung!

So yeah, sorry for the rant, but I just wanted to express my opinion on the matter. I think false characterization is a pretty annoying problem in all fandoms. And that's just Saeyoung and Suit! We could discuss literally every single character in mysme here lmao

Sorry for my huge essay btw I really should be sleeping right now, but I read that post and just couldn't resist ahaha

It's always something, y'know?

Yes, they're angry and bitter, but it hurts to see people think that's all there is to their character. I don't know how many times I've had to go and explain to people that Suit Saeran is afraid. He believes anger is a sword and a shield, if he cries first, they can't make him cry.

It's not a healthy mentality and it hurts him greatly, and he knows that even if his malice was meant for him, you suffered. He apologizes and you're there to say, "I know, I forgive you, and I hope to stay by your side as you heal and become better for yourself."

Suit Saeran is able to say he fucked up. He wasn't right to do what he did and he pays for it. He may say that he likes seeing you cry and be upset, but he doesn't. He just can't admit vulnerability. He just saw Ray get basically torn limb from limb for loving somebody, of course, he's not okay right now.

He locks you in your room, but God, he'd never tie you up or physically beat you. I know why Cheritz added in the bite to that VN itself because it gets them paid for adding in those elements, but I don't care for that, myself. Because I can't see him lashing out in any physical way. Emotionally, yes, but not physically.

If you pay attention to what happens, the only time he touches you is the bite, when he pushes you against the ground, and maybe if you want to count when he nudged you against the wall? But, I think that last one was more him making you walk yourself into a corner.

And it's worse with Unknown because... God, it's so twisted up and it makes me sick. People should write whatever they want to write and enjoy that content, but if I had a dollar for every time I opened a story about Unknown and it turned into Torture Porn, I'd be rich and upset at the same time. Unknown and SE Saeran were also what pulled me in during 2016, so their characterizations mean a lot to me.

Unknown isn't like Ray or Suit Saeran. He doesn't care for you like those two do. You're his eyes. You're a tool. But, he still finds a sense of amusement in you. You're interesting to him. That's just... yeah, it's going to be a mess when you consider him in romance, but it doesn't need to be as grimdark as I've seen for years. I don't even wanna get into that because I'll just get upset. I just wish people tagged things properly because I get so disheartened looking for Unknown stuff and it's just. that.

And Saeyoung gets this rough, too. People will make him out to be the joker that he doesn't want to be. Yes, he loves to play pranks and have fun, but that's not all he is. Don't just lump him off as that one thing. Saeyoung did what he had to do for Saeran in the SE. I'm sorry that he closed himself off again. But what choice did he have at that moment?

Leave Saeran in the hospital to die? Because if he kept lashing out, he was going to get more attention and focus. Not even Jumin Han can protect Saeran from that. He can't. Saejoong would've found him and he would've been fucked royally. Saeyoung made a hard choice, take his brother from the hospital because if he didn't, Saeran would likely die. Yes, that was a bad choice because Saeran needs therapy and specialized care, but he had two options. Let Saeran die or try to help Saeran himself.

It was a mess.

It was a horrible mess but they made due. I personally imagine them to be getting therapy after things settle and they're able to do what they need to do. God, just. Yeah. Fanon is going to happen and there isn't a lot anyone can do. This happens to every character and we're all just going to cry.

Dangerous Betrayal | TVD/TO

The Vampire Diaries & The Originals

AU Story

𝐏𝐑𝐄𝐕𝐈𝐎𝐔𝐒 | 𝐍𝐄𝐗𝐓

𝚈𝙾𝚄 𝙰𝚁𝙴 𝙾𝙽 𝙿𝙰𝚁𝚃 𝚂𝙴𝚅𝙴𝙽!

• A U T H O R •

Elena felt very uncomfortable as Caroline walked away with Stefan on her arm, walking to the outside of the mansion to go dance. "I wanna apologize to you for being such a world-class jerk, the other night when I tried to kiss your sister. No doubt she didn't tell you, I wanted to apologize because I know I insulted you as well. I would have apologized to your sister but I can't seem to find her." Damon started off sincere, a glum look upon his face. Elena nodded, she was on guard a bit,"Yeah, she's back at the house. Jenna told her she wasn't to leave until she finished cleaning her room. She might show up later on though." The eldest Gilbert simply explained, Damon nodded, looking around the room before continuing.

"My therapist says I'm..sting out, trying to punish Stefan." Damon spoke, Elena furrowed her brows in confusion. "For what? And why go for Esme?" She was immensely confused by the man,"It's all in the past. I don't even want to bring it up. Let's just say that the men in the Salvatore family have been cursed with sibling rivalry." He pointed behind him to the registry," And it all started with the original Salvatore brothers."

"The Salvatore name is practically royalty in this town, until the war, there was a battle here—" Elena interrupted,"The Battle of Willow Creek." Damon muttered a 'right', letting Elena talk for the time being. "I know, we talked about it in class. Confederate soldiers fired on a church with civilians inside." Elena boringly told, she already knew such information.

Damon nodded,"What history books left out was the people that were killed...," Damon started to walk around Elena, and more towards the door. "they weren't there by accident. The are believed to be union sympathizers. So some of the founders on the confederacy side back then wanted them rounded up and burned alive." Elena follows right behind him, crossing her arms across her chest.

The raven haired man continued on with his history lesson, "Stefan and Damon had someone they loved very much in that church. And when they went to rescue them they were shot. Murdered in cold blood." He gulped, looking Elena, finally, in the eyes, he had a look of sorrow in his eyes. The brunette narrowed her eyes at the wall, in thought,"Who was in the church that they wanted to save?" She asked, Damon slightly shrugged,"A woman, I guess. But it was said in old tells that Damon had another woman he cared about in there, said to be his old best friend of his." He stopped for a moment,"But doesn't it always come down to the love of a woman?" He rhetorically asked, slighting smirking.

Elena took a deep breath,"Look, I'm sorry that you and Stefan have this thing between you but I can't get in the middle of it, Damon. Nor Esme. I just...I hope you two can work it out." The wilder Salvatore nodded,"I hope so too." He whispered, but she was still able to hear him.

Soon, the two made their way out, but, Damon stayed back for a little while, walking back to the registry. He had a sorrowful look upon his face as his thumb softly grazed the name that was written beneath Stefans. It spelled, in a beautiful cursive, Samatha Salvatore, Damon frowned a bit, his eyes getting a bit teary,"Little sister..."

• E S M E •

"Ooh, she lookin fine." The girl muttered to herself as she fixed her lipstick and hair in her hand mirror that Esme kept in her purse. The girl did in fact, looked very beautiful, wearing a long and flowing flower dress, colored a cyan/turquoise with pink and white flowers covering around it. It had a long slit in the middle to show off her long gorgeous legs but it was still appropriate looking.

She snapped her mirror closed, and put it away, fixing her straps of her dress and continuing her very long walk to the Lockwood Mansion. Slightly wobbly as her high heels got stuck in the grass, tripping on a rock here and there. "Why the fuck did I wear these damn heels. You fucking idiot!" She scolded herself, stomping her way to the mansion instead.

As she finally made it to the busy and full house her eyes wondered across the crowds of people. Unfortunately, she saw none of her friends nor family, so the brunette went to go explore the 'museum'. Jordan had felt this magnetic pull towards upstairs, so out of her instinct, she followed it.

Walking up the stairs to see the second floor was completely abandoned, not a single soul was up there. She then entered a room that held all the founder families's old things, like necklaces, journals, rings and more. The younger twin walked to the side that held the name Gilbert, but she ignored it as she was pulled to a black velvet box, something the girl didn't recognized.

Jordan picked it up, opening it to see a black and red ring. It was a pure black steel band, with dark blood red gems decorating it around the band. In the middle was a circle shaped, dark blood red gem in the middle, designed beautifully.

She took the ring out and placed the black velvet box back into the table. Her pointer finger slightly grazing across the detailed band, and final stopping at the big gem in the middle. Images flashing in her mind, first was a man, curly, dirty blonde hair, but his back was facing her, his hand folded behind his back. The next one was her mother, but her actual mother, the Firstbeing Queen, she had a sadistic smile upon her face, so similar to her own. Then finally, it was her, her eyes were completely black, with dark blood red patterned veins running down beneath her eyes, with hints of black.

Jordan gasped a bit as she was taken back to reality, she clutched the ring, calming herself. But she felt frightened by the ring, so she quickly grabbed the black box and put the ring back. Though she couldn't put it down as she heard someone coming her way, it sounded like Caroline and...Damon?

The Gilbert couldn't exactly tell what they were talking about, before she could think the two already made their way into the room. The girl swiftly turned around, hiding the box behind her back,"Oh hey Esme! Where have you been!" Caroline bubbly asked, Damon sent a soft smile towards the girl. Esme forced a smile,"Hey Care-Bear, sorry I'm late. I had to clean my room because Jenna told me I couldn't leave the house unless I did." Esme spoke happily, moving her hand to her purses back pocket, stuffing the box inside the pocket. It may have terrified her but maybe it had answers she so desperately needed.

***

Esme rubbed her sisters back, trying to show her support as Elena was glum after her fight with Stefan. The two made their way to the bathroom to freshen up. "Hey." Elena and Caroline spoke to each other, but Caroline and Esme sent each other a genuine smile through the mirror.

Elena made her way for the mirror to touch up her makeup, but Esme went to the side to fix the straps on her high heels, something she kept tripping on. It was silent until the blonde spoke up,"So how are things with Stefan?" She questioned, Esme cringed a bit, knowing the fight between her sister and the younger Salvatore.

The younger twin watched her sister her a bit uncomfortable at the question, she plastered a obvious fake smile,"Great. Just great." Caroline quirked a brow,"Really? Well, my radar must be off cause...," The blonde bent down to watch her apply lipstick properly, without any smudges. " I was getting all sorts of other vibes." Elena took a big inhale, fixing her hair, but Esmes eyes were still on her best friend.

Spotting something unusual on her body,"What is that?" Esme questioned, walking towards the Forbes girl, Elena tok tied her head to the side, furrowing her brow in confusion. Caroline hummed, still applying lipstick, the. Standing up straight to face the younger daughter. Esme moved her hair, her hand going to her scarf where she saw something of of the ordinary, but Caroline pushed her hand away,"D-Don't." The blonde stuttered, making the twins even more suspicious.

Esme quickly pushed up her scarf when Caroline didn't notice, showing the two a massive bite mark on her neck,"Oh my god, Caroline! What happened." Elena asked, in fear and confusion. "Nothing, okay." Caroline defensively told, slightly backing away from twins. "That is not nothing! Did somebody hurt you?" Esme harshly spoke, already getting defensive of Caroline, someone had gruesomely hurt her.

"No, okay, it..." The Forbes paused for a moment? Skating her head,"Nothing, it just.." Esme packed up for a moment, connecting the dots,"My mom would kill me." Caroline went back to the mirror, slightly scared as she fixed her makeup again, to avoid conversation. But something caught her eye, the same thing she saw when she was fixing her shoe.

Esme pulled down Caroline knitted white jacket, showing another bite mark that looked more recent,"Did Damon hurt?" Esme asked, Elenas eyes widened,"Did Damon do this?" The elder twin asked again, Caroline slightly shook her head, pulling back up her jacket, quickly,"No! Of course not!" Caroline defended, Esme immediately went to pull back down the sweater but her arms were pushed away.

"Just leave me alone, okay, Esme? God." The Forbes yelled, that's when Esme knew this was serious. Caroline rarely ever, near impossible, that she got yelled at by the Forbes. The twins looked at the blonde in disbelief as Caroline stomped her way out of the bathroom. The twins locked eyes before Esme's face was filled with anger, and she followed Caroline's lead.

Elenas eyes widened, she knew that look of Esme's, she had that look thrown towards her before. "Esme! Stop!" She yelled after her younger sister, running after her. Though the girl paid no attention. As she walked to the outside where Damon was last seen, the lights flickering and things slightly shaking as she walked passed them.

Esme quickly walked down the steps, making her way to Damon, who was already facing towards her with a clear smirk on his face, Esme pushed him, harshly. "There is something seriously wrong with you. You stay away from Caroline or I will go straight to her mother, the sheriff. You got it? Say away from her." Esme defensively told the raven haired man, her eyes shining a neon scarlet red, but only for half a second. He quirked a brow, confusion running through his eyes. Esme walked off, rage soaring through her,"Bastard." She muttered, in the corner of her eyes she could see Elena walking away from her and towards the fountain.

***

Esme walked around the mansion for the fourth time, she couldn't find Caroline nor Damon, and she was starting to get worried. So she and Elena split up after her other altercation with Stefan, Esme searched thoroughly inside while Elena went outside. But it had been nearly twenty minutes already and she hadn't found Caroline, and she didn't see Elena anywhere. So, she made her way outside as well to find her older twin.

As she walked, she was able to see Elena holding Caroline in her arms, Esme was able to hear Caroline sob into her sisters shoulder. Elena turned around, feeling the presence of her sister, as she was right, the two locked eyes. Sending each other a saddened look, Elena then turned to lay her head against the sobbing Caroline's shoulder, trying to comfort.

Esme would have joined but her head started to ring, she turned her head a bit, holding the side of it. It stopped, but was replaced by voices, "Thank you for staying so late." A males voice, she furrowed a brow, straightening her stance as she looked around the empty grounds.

"Did you get the Gilbert watch?" A woman's voice then appeared, Esme immediately recognized it to be Sheriff Forbes, Caroline mom.

'What did they need the Gilbert watch for?' Jordan questioned in her own mind, she knew where the exact location of the watch was, with Jeremy, knowing about the fight Elena and him had about it. But she didn't see the purpose or the importance of the watch.

"She claims it's packed away in her parents things." Mrs. Lockwood, Jordan knew the bitch. She was the definition of two-faced. "I can get it." A males voice pitched in, but this time, she had no idea who he was. She didn't recognize his voice, it sounded familiar, yes. But, Jordan didn't exactly know who he was. "Good, we're gonna need it." Sheriff Forbes spoke again, there was a second of silence.

"You sure?" Mayor Lockwood questioned, with Sheriff Forbes responding,"Five bodies all drained of blood. I'm certain." Jordan felt her heart drop, they knew. "They've come back." The unknown man spoke again, Jordan felt her heart race. She has to find out what they know, and why they want that damn watch.

OHSHC Rewrite: Episode 3b

Beware of the Physical Exams!

Host Club x reader

Summary: When the hosts convince y/n to get help, she finds trouble instead.

Word Count: 5.4k

Episode Masterlist

"Y/n, we've come here today to talk about a problem regarding you."

You looked around nervously, and began your verbal diarrhea. "Okay, um, first of all, I want to say I'm sorry. I know it's our number one priority to make the clients happy, and I was side tracked, and that's on me. I'm really sorry. I shouldn't have been unprofessional with Alarico and that's super my fault. I know I need to get 100 guests and I'm only at 39 but I can do better, and again I'm really sorry for everything about yesterday, and—"

"Y/n," Kyoya cut you off. "This has nothing to do with your quota, or Alarico Gonzalez's behavior."

"Oh." You said dumbly.

"This is about your anxiety attack."

"Oh." You grumbled, though you quickly regained your composure. "I'm sorry you had to see that senpai."

"It was no trouble, and I've read that they can be very sudden and frightening to those who get them." He stated.

"We're really worried." Hikaru said.

"Yeah," Kaoru agreed. "When Kyoya told us, we had no idea how to help."

"You have to take care of yourself y/n-chan." Honey clutched usa-chan.

"Yeah." Mori said.

"That is why," Tamaki said, pointing to you. "We've decided to set up an appointment with the school therapist today!"

"Woah, let's not take it that far. I'm okay guys, really."

"You didn't look okay when you had trouble breathing yesterday." Kyoya stated.

"That was just a little hiccup!" You explained. "Things happen. I'm okay now, which is more important, right?"

Tamaki stepped up to you. "You're going to therapy, and that's final!"

"No." You said forcefully. This struck his feelings, and he sulked in the corner. You sighed. "I'm sorry I worried you all, and I'll be careful next time. I don't want to waste time and cut any classes so a therapist can tell me depressing things. I just want to forget about sad stuff here."

You gave them a smile. "Well, she seems unmotivated." Hikaru stated.

"But how are we going to get her to agree?" Kaoru asked.

Mori then thought of something. "Squishy ice cream."

That struck a nerve. You gasped and carefully looked at them, and Tamaki then got up. "That's right~ You were so busy last episode that you never got to try any, did you~?"

"Did you hear that?" Hikaru whispered mockingly. "She's never even tried squishy ice cream before. Isn't that sad?"

"Talk about a tragedy." Kaoru whispered back.

You nervously laughed. "C'mon guys, you don't really think of me as such glutton because I'm poor and never had it that I'd force myself to go to some therapy for some ice cream would you?" You kept nervously laughing, and everybody else smiled at you. You then quietly asked, "What time is the appointment?"

"We knew it." The twins said.

You scoffed and smiled. "You guys are something else. Why do you even care about this?"

"Don't refer to yourself as this!" Tamaki exclaimed. "If you need anything, know that I'm always here for you."

"You mean all of us are here for her?" Hikaru asked.

"As I said before, you are all the homosexual supporting cast!"

You let out an involuntary laugh. "Really senpai? Supporting cast?" You asked, walking over to them. "That's a little self absorbed of you." You then thought of something. "Can you guys do me a little favor though? Let's keep the therapy sessions to ourselves. My clients get worried easily and I feel weird when they get curious and ask me about my issues."

"Well, your appointment is right after the physical exams," Kyoya explained. "So that might be an issue."

"Alright then," Tamaki announced. "Gentlemen, it's time to enact The Keep Y/n's Secret Safe Plan!"

Later that day you walked with the twins to the physical exam, though the line was going to be too long to not miss your therapy session. When you went in there, your mouth hung open. "What the hell is this?!"

"It's just a regular physical exam." Hikaru said.

"I've seen malls smaller than this." You whisper shouted, speed walking to hold each twin by the arm, timidly looking at all the people and fancy stations. "This is so out of place for me. I feel so awkward."

They paid no mind to you gripping onto them, or at least tried not to. "Seriously y/n, you need to stop being amazed and scared at everything here." Kaoru said.

"I was amazed and scared of the host club when I walked in. Look at us now." You offered. Neither of them said anything but looked down at you. You then saw Mori and Honey dressed up in doctor attire. "Wait, what?" They put their fingers over their mouths shush you. "So obvious." You muttered.

"I have those two for back up in case this plan doesn't execute properly." Kyoya came out and explained.

"Why are they in doctor uniforms?"

"It helps set the mood." He pushed up his glasses. "Disguises make our mission feel like a real espionage."

You watched the doctor encourage a girl as three other nurses clapped for her. "This is weird." You said. "All the staff here are actually nice."

"Of course." Kyoya said. "All staff is chosen by the chairman. It is a school, but it's also a business. He wants the students to be happy, and most students here already have their own doctors for their families. So this, is just a formality."

You quietly scoffed and shrugged, shaking your head. You and the twins kept walking when someone bumped into Kyoya, and Kyoya's gaze lingered on him.

"Huh." The twins then began taking off their shirts to do their exams, and girls started squealing. "See now?" Kyoya asked. "Physical exam day is quite popular with the ladies."

"Hm. My physical exams in y/c had us also do exercise. Everybody was rude and just wanted to get everything over with, and that makes more sense than this." You then shook your head. "But girls here would probably still be squealing for that too because sweat is apparently attractive too."

The twins were being themselves and girls continued squealing. Mori and Honey took this as an opportunity to push you into a corner nobody was in. Tamaki then caught you from behind. "I've been waiting for you princess." He said in your ear.

"Tamaki senpai?" You turned your head.

He giggled in your ear. "You're so cute when you're surprised." He then stepped back. "This is it, the inevitable moment."

"What are you gonna do?"

He shushes you with his finger. "Don't worry, I'll protect you." You felt your cheeks tingle. That was until he put on a wig and stepped into the exams area. "I am ready to take the exams." He announced in his best impression of your voice.

"Hey, is Tamaki trying to dress as a girl?" One girl asked.

Tamaki was shocked, as if he didn't realize people would notice. The twins then bursted out laughing. "He actually did it!" Hikaru laughed out.

"I can't believe he didn't know that wouldn't work!"

Tamaki blushed and angrily grabbed Hikaru. "Why didn't you tell me it wouldn't work?!"

"It's payback for calling us homosexual supporting cast!" He laughed out.

Tamaki looked over at you shyly with big sad eyes. "Um, listen y/n," he timidly said.

"Did you really think that would work?" You asked, and your tone showed that it was a genuine question. He said nothing but pouted, causing you to glare at him. "Big words senpai. Small execution."

"Come this way y/n," Kyoya said. "There's a private room waiting for you."

"Senpai, you look like your enjoying this." You smiled at him. Tamaki dropped to his knees in the background.

Kyoya was smiling as well. "Well, I did need to get my revenge too. I don't appreciate being called supporting cast, homosexual or otherwise."

You both walked away as Tamaki weakly reached for you while fading away. You then went into a room with a female nurse. "Good morning Miss Y/l/n. It's a pleasure to meet you. I've been informed of your circumstances, so we can hurry along this process."

"Thank you ma'am."

"Of course. Step right this way please. You can undress in there." You nodded and stepped inside the dressing area.

The boys were listening to this girl cry about a doctor who supposedly made a pass at her. "I've never been so terrified." She cried.

"How scary!"

"Do you think he was a pervert?" This girls were huddled around her for comfort.

"I had a feeling this might happen." Kyoya thought out loud. "Earlier today I saw a strange man in a white lab coat, though clearly not one of our doctors.

"Shouldn't you have said something sooner?" The twins asked in an annoyed manner.

"I'm sure it's no big deal. I'm sure the security guard will catch him." Kyoya offered.

They still listened to the group in the back. "Tell me," said a doctor. "Did you see where this man went?"

"Yes sir, he was headed towards the private clinic down the hall." The boys were all silent as they realized that he was going to your room.

You had just unbuttoned your shirt, leaving you in your bra. You were about to take off your pants when a man went into your changing room and was peaking outside. It was almost like he didn't see you. "W–um, excuse me, but—"

He rushed over to you and covered your mouth with his hand. "No, it's not what you think. Please just be quiet."

"Y/n!" You both turned to see Tamaki in the air. "Tama-chan~ kick!" He kicked the man in the face and sent him flying into the wall. Tamaki then spun in the air a few times before coming down to the ground.

The twins then appeared. "One. Good looks that attract the public eye."

Kyoya then stepped out of the shadows. "Two. More wealth than you can imagine."

Mori then spoke up. "Three. Chivalry that will never be able to overlook,"

"The hideous wickedness of this world." Honey finished.

As you hugged yourself Tamaki gently placed his own shirt over you. "That's what make up the Ouran Host Club!"

They posed, with an exception of Mori and Kyoya, saying, "We're here, watch out!"

"Please don't hurt me! Spare me my life!" He bowed as you buttoned up Tamaki's shirt. He then got back up. "I run a small medical clinic in the next town over."

You were taken aback by the sudden fact. You looked at Honey, whispering, "Why is he telling us his life story?"

Honey shrugged, and you all listened. "My name is Yabu." You suppressed your laughter, since Yabu is another word for quack doctor. "You see, I came to find my daughter. My wife left me a month ago and took my daughter with her! I know that my daughter goes here."

You sat down to be at the same eye level with him. "Well now that I'm invested into the story, I gotta ask. What happened to make them leave?"

He explained that he kept giving people money and they don't usually pay them back. The latest time was the last straw, and they both left. "I can never say no to anyone. I don't blame them for not wanting to constantly live in debt. But I wanted to see my daughter one last time, so I wandered through the streets and was pounded by rain until I came here. But once I entered I was mistaken for a doctor, here to examine students!"

You smiled. "You mean they mistook the guy wearing a lab coat as a doctor? That's... wow."

"And then it happened," He ignored you. He then explained how he asked a girl for directions and she ran away screaming. "And before I knew it, there were all kinds of people chasing me!" He was bursting with tears.

"So tragic!" Tamaki was also crying.

"Pardon me," Kyoya said. "But I think you may have the wrong highschool. Are you looking for Ouran Public Highschool?"

"Yeah?" He stopped crying and looked up.

"I figured that might be the case. This is Ouran Academy, private institution. Your daughter doesn't go to school here."

He looked shocked, and the twins began to voice their opinions. "Man, you don't even know where your daughter goes to school? That's pretty sad." Hikaru said.

"Yeah, I bet your relationship's messed up because you don't pay attention to them, not because of some stupid debt."

"Wow Kyo-chan, you figured that out pretty quickly." Honey congratulated him.

"Well, the daughter of such a small business man could never afford to go here." You scrunched up your nose I'm response.

"Kyoya," Tamaki said. "Could you make a map of the public schools in this area? I'd like to help this man."

Kyoya looked surprised for a second, but smiled and regained his composure. "Whatever you say."

As the man got up you stepped in front of him. "If you'll allow me to give some advice." He nodded. "If you get there and school is still in session, don't just go in. Wait until she's finished with school, or else you're gonna look like a creep and she'll be too angry and embarrassed to talk." He said nothing and nodded, bowing. He left soon after, and you were all still in the private room. "Well, sorry to do this, but can you guys please leave now?"

Everybody looked surprised. "Y/n, are you still angry with me?" Tamaki said. "You're not going to quit the host club are you?"

You turned to him and smiled, patting his shoulder. "Don't be silly senpai. I need to get to that stupid therapy sesh and you need to put on a shirt. I just gotta take the physical exams and I'll give it back to you." You then turned around and smiled. "Let's get this straight though. I'm not doing it for some food, I'm doing it for my debt."

You giggled, and Tamaki smothered you with a hug. "I can see right through you! I know you're doing it for some squishy ice cream!"

He was smothering too much. "Okay, stop it! The shirt's riding up!"

"Red card!" The twins said in unison. They then dragged Tamaki out and everyone else followed.

You finished your exam fairly quickly and was guided by your nurse to the room of your therapist. "Good morning." She grinned. "Please sit anywhere you'd like."

You had decided right then and there that this was going to suck. There was fancy decor and expensive looking items. There was a nice looking couch and even nicer looking chairs. She had a desk that looked like it costed way too much, and she wore expensive clothing. This was all too much. You didn't belong in this room.

You silently sat on the couch. "I hope you feel your most comfortable self with me, so we can talk about anything you want." Her grin was still on and her tone was still chirpy. You said nothing. "Do you want to begin the conversation?"

You hesitated before speaking up. "May I ask about your background?"

"My background? Well that's an incredibly boring subject, but go ahead! Let's not have any secrets between each other, okay?"

You were silent for a moment again. "How were you brought up? Was it surrounded by things like this?"

You didn't try to smile. You didn't want to be here. There wasn't anything wrong with you, so there wasn't a reason to be here. Besides, this room itself was giving you anxiety. "Things like this? Well, I'm not really the materialistic person, but if you're asking me if I was born into a wealthy family that helped paved the way to my position, then yes. I was born into this."

Her smile never faltered, and you didn't like it. You didn't like the feeling of any of this. Exposed, you felt so exposed. It made you put your head down in shame. "Then don't you think you're a little overqualified to be talking to me right now?"

She was taken aback, but began writing in her notebook. She slightly nodded to it, as if she had decided something. "My, is that what you think?"

What the hell would she even write from that? That you have self esteem issues? That you're self conscious about yourself here? You deserved so much squishy icecream for this. You only shrugged.

"You don't seem very relaxed right now. Maybe we could talk about why that is." You shrugged again. Her smile almost left her face, but she hung onto it. "We can't make any progress if you we don't put in effort dear."

You sucked up your annoyance and smiled, bringing your head up. "If you want me to be happy about this, you could've just said so. And the reason why I'm uncomfortable is because this room is making me uncomfortable."

She then wrote in her notebook again. "I see. Is it the atmosphere? We can go outside to the garden if it makes you feel any better."

"Is this session a one time thing?"

She chuckled. "That's not how progress works."

"Then we can stay in here so I could get used to this feeling."

It was like she cornered you. She knew exactly where to strike. "Do you always feel like you need to comply to things? Like you have to be the one to adjust?"

You frowned. "Where did that come from?"

"Please answer the question dear."

"I don't know, I guess. I have to though. It's not like everybody else has to change their viewpoints to accommodate only me."

"Do those viewpoints make you upset?"

"No."

"I'd appreciate if didn't lie to me."

She seemed to have every one of your moves calculated. She suddenly knew how to outsmart you. "Sometimes, I guess. I don't know. They'll say a comment or two about how different commoners are to normal rich people. It's weird. I never considered myself normal, but I'm different for another reason here than before."

You wanted to slap yourself for saying that. She only wrote in her notebook again. "How were you different before?"

"It just sometimes felt like us against the world. The four of us were unbreakable and we didn't care that it was that way. I felt proud to be looked down on, in this weird way, because my friends were down there with me laughing at everyone else."

"And now?"

"Now I'm down there alone. Everybody looks down on me, but there's no one else to share that with. It just sucks sometimes."

"You have two separate friend groups that you mention. Do you feel differently towards the one back in y/c than here?"

"I never felt ashamed with my y/c friends, I guess. I don't know. They knew everything about me, and they still loved me for it. Maybe I feel like my friends here will just pity me if I open up more?" You brought your knees up and buried your face in between them. "Ugh, no offense doctor, but this sucks butt. I thought this was supposed to help me with my anxiety."

"And you don't feel anxiety when thinking about your new friends finding things out about you?"

You couldn't help but let out a laugh and fall to lay of the couch. "Damn it, you're actually pretty good."

"People can be more complex than you might think. Just as you feel like they won't understand you because of your background, you aren't giving them a chance because of their background." You looked up at her. She was still smiling.

You chuckled. "You really do suck." You then sat up straight. "Hey, how are other people like with your sneaky forwardness?"

She waved off the question. "Oh, I'm usually not like this at all. I normally have to go through this journey with them until they figure it out on their own. I figured you weren't like that and would prefer someone who wouldn't baby you. It's actually quite nice to get straight forward answers back."

You genuinely smiled. "I'm sorry doctor, I think I underestimated you."

She had a different smile on this time. "Hm. Tell me something that your new friends don't know about you."

"That's kinda hard. One of them ran a background check on me."

She chose not to push her luck and not ask about that. "Well, it can be a small fact."

You let out a sigh and looked down again. "I mean, I was at the store the other day and bought them all keychains. Once I brought them to school I realized how worthless this would be to them. So I just kept them.

"Pushing for a better relationship with your friends will maybe let them push with you. They might like the gifts. You don't know until you try it."

"Thanks doctor." You smiled at her.

"One last question, how did you act with your old friends? Were you touchy feely or more to yourself?"

"Um, touchy feely I guess." You then thought about how you and your friends never really had respect for each other's boundaries, though none of you cared. "Really touchy feely actually."

"Try to work on getting to that level with your new friends." She then checked the time. "Oh, it seems we just ended our session. I'm glad we got this far, and there's so much more to talk about. I'll see you next week."

"Yeah, okay." You smiled and got up.

"Oh, dear,"

You stopped. "Yeah?"

"Why don't you give your old friends a call? You seem like you miss them."

"Okay." You said, chirpy. "Bye!"

You walked back to the physical exam area, and everyone was just about finished. All your friends stared at you as you silently walked over to them. You didn't say anything and looked spaced out.

"Y/n," Tamaki quietly asked. "Are you mad at us for sending you to therapy? You're making a face."

"I'm just thinking senpai." You didn't look at him.

"About quitting the club?!" He grabbed you by the shoulders.

You gently poked his face and pushed it away with your finger. "About whether or not I should give you guys something." The bell rang and you looked at the twins. "Oh, let's go guys. Bye everyone."

Nobody said anything. You went to your class silently. "Uh, y/n?" Hikaru asked.

"Hm?" You turned to them.

"Are you sure you're okay?" Kaoru asked.

You smiled and hugged them both. "I'm sure."

After school you decided to use your phone and call the one person you know who also has a phone. The other two were also there, and the three were planning to see you as a surprise on Monday. Luckily, Jasmine can't keep a surprise to save her life.

You entered the host club with a big smile, setting down your bag to turn and see all the boys staring at you. "What?" You asked, still smiling. "Oh! The gifts."

"So you actually did get us something?" Kaoru asked.

"Yup." You brought them out of your backpack and walked over to Mori. You handed him a keychain of a small black belt. "I heard someone say you were in kendo, so I thought this would be nice."

He smiled and patted the top of your head. "Thanks."

You excitedly nodded and bent down to Honey, giving him a bunny keychain. "I thought it would kinda remind you of usa-chan if you two were ever apart."

His eyes shown as he held it in his hands. "Cute! Thanks y/n-chan!"

You walked over to the twins, handing them a tweedle dee and tweedle dum keychains. You didn't know how to explain this one, so all you did was nervously chuckle.

"Get it?" They only stared at it and back at you as you awkwardly walked away and went to Kyoya. You gave him a paintbrush keychain. "One of my clients told me you could paint?"

He smiled and took the gift. "Hm. Thank you y/n."

You grinned and walked over to Tamaki. He was like a puppy who was excited to get a treat. You didn't take any notice in the blush on his face, nervous yourself that he'd say something about the piss poor gift. You put a small bear keychain in his hand.

"I know you have a teddy bear like this, and I've seen your dorky led pencil with the bear on it." An arrow went through him. "So I thought this would be a nice addition."

"No offense," Hikaru said, staring at the gift in his hand. Everybody turned their heads to him. "But you know these are kinda useless to us right?"

You frowned, but quickly replaced it with a smile. "Yeah," you nervously chuckled. "I'm sorry. It's stupid, I don't even know why I got them. Sorry." You then quickly began to walk away. "I'm gonna get my stuff set up."

You made some special tea for your first guest since she mentioned last time it was her favorite. While you were doing this, Tamaki stormed over to Hikaru. "What was that about?"

"What?" He shrugged. "It's true. I don't get why everyone's acting like this is some treasure."

Kyoya began writing in his book. "According to my sources, y/n also gave her friends back home keychains. It's a gift that she can afford, but it seems to only be something that she only gives to those she holds dear." They all looked back at Kyoya, who was still writing. "Don't you think it's peculiar that right after she talked to her therapist, y/n said that she felt comfortable giving us each a gift?"

Kaoru didn't know what to say, and Tamaki grabbed Hikaru's shoulder. "Listen to me." He said quietly. "You have to apologize to y/n. She wanted to do something nice for you, and you showed your gratitude like a slap in the face to her."

He looked over to you in an annoyed manner, walking over and tapping your shoulder. You flinched but still mustered up a smile. Before he could say anything, the host doors opened.

He didn't get the chance to say anything for the next three hours, as you were always busy with a new guest. Over the three hours guilt began to plague him. Why was he feeling bad? It was a harmless fact. His chest felt heavy.

Finally when they were all gone, you began cleaning as quickly as possible. He tried to slyly get closer to you, but you noticed and kept moving to a new area quickly. It was annoying him. "Hey," he called out to you in a demanding tone. "Are you mad at me or something?"

You didn't look in his direction, busying yourself with cleaning. "No. Why do you say that?"

"Tch." He didn't have patience for the feelings inside him. "Why are you avoiding me then?!"

You, as well as the other hosts, were surprised by the sudden outburst. You let out a sigh, turning to face him and giving him a smile. "Did I do something wrong? I'm sorry that you had to raise your voice at me."

"Why are you still being nice?" He said in a quiet manner, embarrassed for yelling at you for no important reason. "I just yelled at you."

"Um, I'm sure you're used to having people's full attention." You offered a shrug, your smile still sticking. "People who're raised by hearing a lot of yes's are usually bound to be more demanding. It's only natural, so it's whatever."

"No it's not!" He raised his voice again. "You should be getting mad at others being rude to you. Don't be such a pushover!"

His words stung, and you dropped your smile. "Don't call me that." You said a little forcefully.

"You know what? Next time you go to therapy, work on that!" You didn't say anything and angrily continued cleaning while everybody stared at Hikaru. Tamaki was being held back by Kaoru, while Hikaru was just staring at you. Damnit. This was supposed to be an apology, but he made things worse. "Y/n—"

"No."

Your simple demand got everyone's eyes to you. Kaoru and Tamaki held each other from how scary you looked, while Hikaru stepped a few paces back. After a few seconds he was ready to retaliate with another comment, but before he could he was pulled back by Kaoru.

"Hikaru, try to calm down." Kaoru offered.

This got him angrier. "I don't even need her to forgive me! It's always been me and you, and we never needed anyone else! Why should that change now?"

They both stopped when they noticed you sadly staring at them. You then looked back at your cart full of dishes and rolled it away. When you came back you only saw one twin bashfully staring at you.

"Look y/n, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said those things, and—"

You began to giggle. "Wow, I never knew people thought of me as so much of an idiot to really not think I can tell some twins apart. Nice try Kaoru." He looked at you, shocked. You kept walking, before stopping to quickly say "I appreciate you trying though."

You walked over to the other twin, who was tied up and squirming under Tamaki's foot. You motioned for Tamaki to back down, which he did as you sat down next to the tied up twin, pulling down the tie over his mouth. "What was that for boss?!"

"If you cannot respect a woman properly, you will have to handled improperly!" You flashed Tamaki a smile for the comment, and he began rolling on the ground and muttering about how cute you are.

You turned to look at Hikaru, who angrily looked away from you. "So, I get it now." You grinned.

"Get what?" He shyly looked over to you.

"Why you're so nonchalant about everybody. It's because you're used to only relying on one person your whole life." He looked at you in awe. You really understood that. "Honestly, it's pretty amazing to look at. I wish I had a life companion like that."

"But don't—"

"Nope, still not gonna talk about that anytime soon. The point is, I get why you weren't concerned about my feelings, and the important thing is that you're thinking about them now...kinda. As long as you're actually sorry then all is good."

He looked away from you and muttered a sorry. You nodded and untied him, standing up to face the others. You let out a sigh and bowed politely. "I sincerely apologize for the unnecessary drama I brought to the club."

You felt a strong hand pull on your arm to lift you back up. You looked up to see Tamaki gently smiling. "Don't think you have to put your head down for us, and stop thinking of yourself as an outlier. We all enjoy your company."

You smiled back, and remembered what your therapist and you talked about. Try to become touchy feely with them. They're all still your friends.

You wrapped your arms around his neck, quietly saying, "Thank you senpai." You pulled back and saw Tamaki as a blushing mess, causing you to quickly yank back. "Sorry! Ugh, I knew I shouldn't have listened to my therapist about being more touchy feely."

"Actually," the twins said as they came to each of your side, back to their flirty selves. "You can do that with us!"

You let out a breathy chuckle. "You guys are so bipolar and I love it." You then walked over the Kyoya. "Are we all still hanging out tomorrow?"

He wrote in his book. "Oh course. Have you decided where we'll go?"

"Yup!" You grinned. "The swap meet!"

"Swap meet?" The twins asked.

"Well, I think you guys call it a flee market here in Japan." You then looked back at the twins. "Call me tomorrow morning so we can pick everyone up and go."

"Roger!" They saluted.

"Wait, y/n," Tamaki said.

"I'm sorry I made you uncomfortable Tamaki-senpai. I'll be less touchy with you from now on."

"Wait y/n! I did like the hug, I promise!" He sobbed.

You giggled. "You don't have to lie to make me feel better. Well, gotta go. Bye guys!" And with that, you left.

"Mama~"

"Is there a problem Tamaki?" Kyoya slyly smiled.

"What if y/n won't hug me anymore?! Who else would she hug?"

"Hm. Well, she could always come to any of the other host members—"

"Are you saying you would let my little girl hug you and smother you with love?!" He barked.

"Hm, if it helps her, then I suppose." Everybody else left Tamaki crying in the music room.

---

Author's Note: Well, I don't know about you guys but this chapter felt like hot garbage to me.

---

Tag List: @krustykrabbspizza @animefan7420 @strangerthingsholland @the-dead-fucking-sea @blue-eyez-7 @i-bitch-you-bitch @sylumsart

I'll start off by saying I personally don't think Jikook are living together or dating nor do I think they aren't. Somewhere in the "who cares?" Zone. What annoys me is to see people dissect what they say to try to come up with reasons why they aren't. I'd understand if Jimin said something like it was the first time he'd spoken to or seen Jungkook in awhile since Lunar holiday. Then I would be like ah okay that's unusal and who knows, maybe they hadn't, that wasn't made clear either way except that Jimin and Namjoon knew Jungkook hadn't worked out as much.

What is clear is that Jimin has always asked Jungkook questions he already knows or ask questions he could ask privately: "Why are you always in our (Hobi and Jimin's) room?" "Why don't you clean up your bed so you can sleep in your room?" Or something like that. He asks questions like that for us the audience imo. I find it hard to believe that he had never asked Jungkook before that in private "Hey why do you come in here and sleep? Do you not like your room/bed?" He's way too attentive to Jungkook to not wonder about it before hand. In this drawing case I think he just wanted to talk about it. He also could've immediately texted or said to (depending if he was with Jungkook when he saw it or later that day before the live stream) Jungkook and asked him to draw him a picture for his birthday right after he saw it on Twitter instead of waiting for the livestream. So I think he was thinking of ways to bring that drawing up and to bring up the fact that he didn't trace it. Jimin of all people knows how talented Jungkook is at painting and drawing. They spend a lot of time together. Are people actually believing he didn't already know Jungkook didn't trace that especially when he already paid Jungkook a huge compliment about it on social media? I think other than him already knowing about whether Jungkook traced it or not, I do think it's possible he didn't know Jungkook was drawing it and was genuinely surprised. Maybe Jungkook started drawing it days before or earlier that day and wanted it to be a surprise and didn't tell anybody. People act like just because people live together then they know everything someone is doing. I want people to think back about their childhood lol I remember baking a lot and then giving the finished product to my parents and siblings and them asking "You made this yourself? From scratch???" Well unless I'm stuffing Martha Stewart or the Keebler elves in my pocket until I'm ready to give my family some baked goods, we can safely say they already knew one of those questions. Asking me if I made it from scratch means they just didn't know for sure and they lived with me my entire life up to that point. I lived with six people and they weren't sure. Jimin and Jungkook are just two. Point is, you don't always know what someone you live with is doing. So Jungkook could've drawn that and posted it and not said a word before he did it. He also could've wanted to get Jimin's surprised reaction and didn't want to tell him. I just think it's silly how it's now a popular thing to try and prove or disprove they're a couple or living together when it doesn't matter at the end of the day. What I saw during that live stream are two people just completely smitten with each other (whether that's platonically or romantically I have no idea) and what they have is extremely rare and it's beautiful and people splitting hairs about whether they live together or dating. We should all be so lucky to have what they have.

Thanks for sharing all this. I agree with you...whether you think they are living together or not is irrelevant...it is clear to anyone willing to see that Jimin and jungkook are close and fond of each other.

Also - I think Jimin makes these obvious statements or asks these leading questions because he wants army to know how close he is with Jungkook. To me it’s not all that different than vmin calling themselves soulmates. It’s human nature to want to show off the special people in our lives.

Okay, but I can definitely imagine Barb/Dia doing that. It seems like quite a possibility. But wasn't dying mc's own fault though? Like,, Barbatos did warn,,, unless he knew this was gonna happen and mc was DUMB AND STUPID enough to show up to everyone like: "hi." and possibly be dumb enough to get killed. Idk lol I forgot this part.

But what you said about Beel, I really like that. I think you even mentioned belphie guilt tripping you in your yandere hcs, and trying to make you completely depend on him?? I like those possibilities. Mammon though,, too soft. Like you said, they've robbed him a lot. He could have had so much potential to be a dark character. Similarly Levi omg.

The brothers are the embodiments of the 7 deadly sins, yet, tbh, I haven't seen too much of this side of them. At least, not like how'd I expect. Leviathan, for eg. Envy. I don't recall seeing his sin playing out anywhere except in the TSL Quiz thingy. I mean, it's been toned down a lot for someone who's the literal embodiment is envy. Idk I just don't feel he's like that? As from what I found: Envy (Latin: invidia), like greed and lust, is characterized by an insatiable desire. It can be described as a sad or resentful covetousness towards the traits or possessions of someone else. The struggle aroused by envy has three stages: during the first stage, the envious person attempts to lower another's reputation; in the middle stage, the envious person receives either "joy at another's misfortune"(if he succeeds in defaming the other person) or "grief at another's prosperity" (if he fails); the third stage is hatred because "sorrow causes hatred".[38]

Envy is said to be the motivation behind Cain murdering his brother, Abel, as Cain envied Abel because God favored Abel's sacrifice over Cain's.

They toned him down a little too much?? If this game has actually been inspired by demons and the 7 deadly sins, they could at least make them similar to the demons, at least in some way. I'm not that far into the game yet, but so far that I've played, I haven't seen much. As for a demon who is the embodiment of envy... I wish to see more. Levi is capable of A LOT.

Similarly, Satan. I sometimes wonder why is he even called the Avatar of Wrath when we hardly see it?? The only time I remember is him losing his calm during the whole body swap event. The fact Satan got mad at us refusing a pact actually made me think that he was the sin "wrath", but idk now. And the way it was said that "every smile is an act", I really like that concept too. But I don't think I've paid much attention to see where it played out. Sigh now Satan simps for cats like,,, please show me your dark/evil side sir.

The way you said Barb and Dia took part in a torture dungeon, I want to see more of that too. If they're demons, wouldn't they have caused SOME sort of bloodshed in a way? Especially if they're the strongest demons. Killing humans, eating them, or I even like to think doing the same to their own race. Torturing... Seems like something that every demon's blood would contain lmao, I'm not answering questions bye.

And I believe so too. The human seems like a pawn... I feel the demons would use humans for entertainment and their own purposes, while keeping up the facade of loving them. It's easy, since demons are manipulative. In that case, losing the human whether by their own hands or not would go like: "Oh well, that's unfortunate. Time for another human."

But if they REALLY did love you, I feel they'd still be manipulative. Like you said. Corrupting/spoiling the human so much to the point that they'd just HAVE to depend on them. I feel they'd also have yandere tendencies, or be "protective". Like, then I feel they really wouldn't want to let you go, despite knowing how much it can ruin your innocence.

I also don't like how everyone is after mc like "uwuwu master". The human is still a weakling despite having pacts, plus, the pacts aren't even demanding the human's soul or anything. I don't get why they let mc walk over them when they are CLEARLY much stronger? If I were a demon I'd do the opposite lmao. Making the human seem as if they are controlling me, but it's the opposite. I don't think a mere pact can change the fact that the demon's stronger,,, esp if the pact didn't demand the human's soul/life/whatever.

Also, thank you! Things got better for me :)) and also,

💫✨💕send this to ten bloggers you think are wonderful. keep the game going 💕✨

Ofc you don't have to do this, but I got this, and it really made me happy, so here ^^

Oh btw in lesson...56 I think?? Just gonna tag this as a spoiler, but where for whatever reason Satan was "Sully" and the angel Lucifer asked him whether he liked books, let me just say I haven't even played it that far yet, but Satan going, "...Every book here is precious."

TOUCHED ME SO BAD LIKE. I DON'T KNOW IT REALLY MADE ME SOFT LMAO HE'S JUST SO okay I'll stop 🏃– 🍹

It's been a while since I've thought in-depth about the whole time traveling thing tbh, but couldn't Barbatos generally see the outcomes of the world?

We went back because they wanted to know who opened it, but considering Diavolo's the ruler of hell who turned Lilith human and Barbatos is basically the ruler of time & practically the universe I believe they already knew Lilith did it since it had to be "blood related" basically.

Barbatos also knows he can stitch together timelines and get of "extra" MCs essentially, so I believe he'd take that into account. I'm not saying MC getting killed was 100% part of the plan, but that they didn't care of MC was traumatized because they knew they could bring them back if necessary.

Imo the real goal wasn't to find out who did it, but to avoid breaking the family's bonds and devotion to Diavolo. The way it worked out was incredibly convenient and "coincidentally" a huge upgrade for Diavolo that kept the status quo and made him look good (or at least better) to Belphie and Beel without making Lucifer choose.

We see that kind of repeat later when Diavolo withdraws from the play because he was worried Lucifer wouldn't be as loyal. That's also why Lucifer gets that warning from Barbatos.

I think a huge part of why Levi's characterization is like that is because not enough people like him enough to tolerate it tbh. Even Mammon and Lucifer stans complain about the other characters hogging screen time and a lot of them admit to feeling bad for other fans. Levi is pretty much always second to last popularity wise.

I think he'd actually be more liked if they focused more on the jealously instead of making almost every interaction otaku/Ruri-chan related, but it's a bit too late now. I really, really hate how they just pretend otaku culture always existed and that's all Levi ever was. Like at least make him have an obsessive personality and be hyperfixated on novels instead of talking manga in an era before Japan even existed. It's so unbelievably lazy and really takes me out of the story.

Another problem is we only really see him interact with family or people that could enact severe consequences like Diavolo & Barbatos or people protected by the exchange program. He never gets a chance to shine or be cunning. The closest we get is things like him purposefully trying to ruin Christmas for random people online in his Christmas card. I think if he genuinely got jealous of MC and some random demon he would summon lotan almost instantly.

It's especially painful knowing what we had & being so excited to get more only for all of that to get dropped.

In an early devilgram, Be You, Satan gets jealous and feels bad about not having much unique to him and Lucifer comforts him in his own way when the others make it worse. Mammon is the most empathetic though ofc. They also talk about horror movies and Mammon says he doesn't find them scary (& the way it's framed sounds honest, idk if it's a retcon or a lie,) and Satan says "I'm sure we've all witnessed plenty of real-life horrors worse than anything in the movies."

Then when Lucifer asks for a time when he was really angry Satan first casually then gleefully talks about torturing a family to death because a kid set him up to get scolded by their parents. Meanwhile the brothers act wary of him and worry about him getting out of control while Lucifer tells everyone to take cover for their own safety with a smile. Satan happily talks about them begging for their lives and says he wishes they saw it too.

Levi also says he hates hearing about people being happy, but likes hearing about the negative things. While Asmo and Mammon are freaking out he also calls Satan cool. Which shows at least a little bit of his envy for once. Satan also says just the aura of his rage is usually too much for humans which is also interesting.

But back to Diavolo and Barbatos, I don't hate how the whole torture thing isn't super open, it makes sense imo, but I would like to see hints of them hiding it. Especially if Satan or even attic Belphie was the one you could go to to learn more about it. If anyone would defy Diavolo for that it'd be them trying to bring Lucifer down with them, or even just Satan rewarding the hunt for knowledge and not understanding the human psyche fully.

Imagine if instead of a paper thin lie about being human we got a Belphie manipulating us by pretending he was locked up because he was against hurting humans and the whole exchange program was a scam? Or at least if he told us things no one else would about Diavolo that were true so we wouldn't trust him and etc. That's the angle I'm going with in my fanfiction at least, the original story is just so lazy and boring imo.

Yeah I'm not a huge fan of how they handled pacts either, especially considering they don't even get MC's soul. It's way too one-sided to the point where I don't believe someone like Satan would ever offer it, even if the first offer was a trick and he'd get your soul or something. I agree on the whole manipulation thing too, like how is it partnership if one side has complete control over the other?

Even just making it so that demons can fight against if they really don't want to do something like harming each other and having it corrupt MC would make it a million times better.

And that's so sweet, thank you! You've made my days a lot brighter too. Not much makes me happier than infodumping and complaining about Obey Me rn lol.

I really liked Satan's line there too, although I did wish he had more a reaction to everything tbh. That whole section felt a bit too easy imo though, like I kept waiting for it to all go to shit or something. I am glad they went back into more story-based chapters too. I hope they keep that trend and expand on it.

Just seen a post like "y r reylos upset? they kissed. I have a ship where they don't even meet" and I was ready to go "I Don't Know How To Explain To You That knowingly shipping a crackship and seeing a ship that's been set up since the beginning get turned into some emotionally manipulative little trick by hacks who dgaf abt the characters and only want to cash in on every single part of the fandom are very different things." But I gave up. Not worth the effort.

it’s not, but... honestly?

this thing is... like... I don’t want to say mildly worrying me, but... it is. (beware the next post won’t probably make much sense but bear with me this thing isn’t sitting well with me lmao)

I mean, like, let’s get it out of the way that I didn’t care for reylo either way until tlj and post-tlj I was like ‘oh okay they’re definitely the romance of the trilogy fine sounds nice I’ll be here being happy for them when they inevitably kiss’, because it’s like.. star... wars. I mean. sw is like the one franchise that until five days ago I’d have cashed in on being the ONE thing that would always end up cheesy/hopeful/not disappointing you know, so... I didn’t even consider that there was another way it could end. because it’s goddamn sw, redemption stories with happy endings are the damned brand.

so like... the fact that the thing was obviously set up and they tore it to shreds along with everything else in the movie is bad. like, bad. but people who didn’t realize how fucking insulting it was just... don’t seem to get that the moment you go watch movies whose brand is making you feel better about things and they turn into calvinism central NO HAPPINESS ALLOWED and they don’t even do it with sense - bc rots made no fucking sense at any point ever and that’s outside reylo - it just... makes you feel betrayed? like, again: in 2015 when I came out of the cinema the only thing I banked on was poe dameron not dying and I couldn’t care either way about kylo ren, but like - tlj made me care. as it was supposed to be. I was supposed to care about kylo ren’s pull to the light and guess what I did because that movie wanted me to, and it wanted me to do 2+2 and realize that he and rey were soulmates and fine I was down with that because I like myself a nice love story.

and then like... you give it to me, like that, and the moment you have the character who has had a shitty life, has been groomed since he was born if not before by Worst Person In The Galaxy if the new canon wants me to buy that - or by snoke but it’s the same -, is an abuse victim and is 100% sure that everyone hates him and no one understands him or wants to understand him, you make that character related to one of the most iconic ones in the franchise to the point that you tried to make han every other member of the trio tbh, you actually have that character taking his life in his hands after talking to han and like embrace what he always wanted to be and show that he’s actually happy with it (like ffs guys it’s also probs because adam driver is an excellent actor but you can see the ben solo vs kylo ren difference in the span of five seconds, and you’re supposed to root for ben solo to win ffs), have him actually win, have him being happy for the first time in the entire canon and then you kill him a second later with rey in tears over it except that then we forget to give him a funeral........... like.......... sorry but I feel robbed because as lowkey as my effort on banking on ben solo’s redemption was because I was sure it was coming and I took it for granted it still felt like they were being unnecessarily cruel. like, they could have killed him in ten other ways that wouldn’t make you feel like someone stabbed you in the kidney as another anon put it. but no, let’s give people the prospect of HEY THEY’LL BE HAPPY just to tear it away from them ten seconds later. like, what the fuck? that’s not what anyone signed up for.

especially when the entire thing was obviously set up for the happy ending. like, if you actually misread the audience so much that you think star wars audience wants grimdark when it’s a movie marketed at children then you don’t deserve the money you’re most likely getting paid.

like, again: as someone who wasn’t even diehard reylo or whatever even if I absolutely shipped it, I felt like these assholes took my money and punched me in the kidney since rey palpatine was a thing and the moment he died I about screamed fuck you out loud... along with most of the entire room which was screaming fuck you, because guess what, not a single person in that room actually was banking on the ben solo redemption to fail and each single person in the room was clapping when they kissed because we were fucking waiting for it already, and like......... obviously ppl shipping it are upset. they were given an unsatisfactory movie up until then that didn’t give the characters justice but which could have still been more or less decent if it saved the spirit of the entire thing... which it didn’t because sw is not fucking calvinist central and hasn’t ever been until now. and then they were given canon after being the target of the vilest shit (guys seriously I unfollowed antireylo people way before shipping reylo myself bc that crap was out of line for shipping fictional stuff)... just to have them take it away by killing the one character that was there to show you that there’s always hope for you to do the right thing?

like, let’s be fucking real: the message is that if you fucked up and want to be better it won’t ever be enough because sorry but you’ll never get another good start and if you care about someone who fucked up and want to help them be better it’s wasted time because people who want to do better can’t actually live and have a chance to keep on doing it.

and sorry but fuck that message with a chainsaw. the beautiful thing about this ship imvho was that in tlj it made it overtly clear how rey helped him out of being a genuinely nice person who listened to someone who thought no one ever would and at the same time kylo/ben couldn’t believe that someone actually said that he wouldn’t be alone either bc the two of them are extremely lonely people and feel that acutely....... and they even threw in the soul bond to make it extra obvious. it was a hopeful story because you had girl who never had anyone who was also innately good who could put her prejudices aside to see that someone who also went dark side because he thought no one loved him and then kept on being abused his entire life actually had good inside them and wanted to help him see that instead of writing him off as a lost cause. like. that was a good romance. nothing exceedingly new under the sun, but in sw it was pretty fresh and a good spin compared to the two other main love stories of the trilogy. also, anakin/padme was what it was and han/leia was immensely better but hey someone decided to kill off the entire original trio so whatever... and if these two ended well they’d have been a constant improvement, never mind the symbolism - you had anakin who was a no one and married a space princess but ended up tragically because he went to the dark side and she could do nothing for him, then anakin’s daughter who was a space princess and married han who is also technically a no one since he didn’t even have a surname on his home planet, and if rey/ben had actually not.. had that ending you’d have closed the circle with space prince descended from both anakin and leia being brought back from the dark side with the help of another no one and finally the damned skywalker line would have gotten one 100% happy ending because it was supposed to be the ending.

like.

that’s something that thematically made so much sense I didn’t even think they wouldn’t do it.

and they did. and guess what of course people are pissed. because this movie about ignored themes, its own canon (from tfa and tlj) and didn’t accomplish one single thing except chewie getting his damned medal.

which, while something we all hoped would happen at some point, is hardly the one thing you should accomplish in a star wars movie supposed to end the goddamned cycle and which eventually ended up being prequel-level if not worse. because I mean, objectively I think the phantom menace was actually a better movie, and I would rewatch this over 2 and 3 just because the cgi in this movie didn’t hurt my eyes, but as bad as lucas got with the prequels, he never did a single character as dirty as disney did all the characters here. no, not even padme, and he did do padme dirty.

tldr: if people don’t get why you’d be pissed at how this movie ended idk what to tell them... but shit if it’s not worrying me that people apparently can’t get that it was a disaster on each single level it could have been. peace.

I don't know if you ever answered something similar but here's my question. Once in a while there's comments saying that he tian is forcing himself on mo, but I think they misunderstand the situation because mo is a tsundere and will always say something like "fuck off" to he tian, even if he cares. So my question is: in your opinion is tianshan still toxic like in the beginning?

Good morning, anon-san!

I have actually talked about Tianshan’s (power) dynamic quite a lot. Here are some previous answers/posts you might find interesting:

Tianshan coming a full circle

My 19 Days OTP

My favorite Tianshan moment

Physical and emotional closeness in Tianshan

Will there ever be a verbal Tianshan confession?

Future of Tianshan

He Tian’s jealousy and possessiveness

Is Tianshan toxic?

The last link on the list probably comes the closest to what you asked, but there was actually something I wish I had included. So, I’ll take a look at your question and also talk about the things I left out. There will be some repetition, though.

“comments saying that he tian is forcing himself on mo”

In my previous answer about Tianshan being toxic, I came to the conclusion that toxicity is in the eye of the beholder. What we see as being toxic depends on our own perspective and individual taste. I don’t think it’s really about misunderstanding but rather reading things through differently tinted lenses and different things appealing to different people. To each of us, the line between “toxic” and “non-toxic” is different. Our tolerance for a certain kind of behavior can differ quite a lot from other readers’ - He Tian’s character and Tianshan being an excellent example.

Tianshan is a certain type of dynamic that often appeals to a lot of people but it will always also have a fair share of anti-fans. So, I doubt there is such a thing as enough development to make the comments about Tianshan being toxic stop. At least not without changing the dynamic fundamentally in which case, it would become something else. As a Tianshan shipper, I wouldn’t want the development ever go in that direction.

However, that doesn’t mean fans should stop listening to each other. I believe people who think Tianshan is toxic can have a lot to add to the discussion. Their points are based on their original perspectives just like ours. Just because we might disagree doesn’t have to mean we can’t learn from each other. 

“in your opinion is tianshan still toxic like in the beginning?”

To be honest, I never really saw Tianshan overall as toxic. To me, there isn’t some point in the story prior to which their relationship was toxic and after it was less toxic. Then again, I have quite a high tolerance for behavior that others deem toxic or problematic. I’m usually drawn to those kinds of dynamics in fiction and find them endlessly interesting instead of something that should be get rid of. More often than not, they end up being my jam and OTPs.

But I’ve always wondered what people who see “before” and “after” in Tianshan think has been the defining moment that turned their relationship for the better. Personally, I’m struggling with that since I have never really had a problem with how their dynamic works. 

Instead, I see Tianshan’s journey through the development of both He Tian and Mo Guan Shan’s characters. Both of them have gone through some changes but also have some parts that won’t probably ever change and ultimately affect the overall dynamic of their relationship.

Mo Guan Shan has gradually started to trust He Tian more and warm up to him. His walls aren’t as high as in the beginning. He doesn’t want to deny their connection as fiercely anymore. And he even shows more of his “tsun” side towards He Tian. His resistance has become more about getting flustered and being increasingly conscious of He Tian than rejecting him out of resentment.

But. Mo Guan Shan will never not stand up to He Tian and strive for being independent. He will still tell He Tian to go fuck himself and ask if he’s supposed to be that familiar with him. He will always spit that He Tian can’t tell him what to do and that he can’t control him. And that is, in fact, one of the reasons why He Tian admires him. As persistent as He Tian is, Mo Guan Shan will agree to things at his own pace. That is both a warning and a promise.

He Tian, on the other hand, has come to learn Mo Guan Shan’s limits and to be more aware so he can keep earning his trust. The nature of his strength has changed. It’s gone from “you better watch your mouth because you answer to me now” to “I don’t care how long it takes but please don’t leave me”. He Tian’s role as the strong savior and someone honing down Mo Guan Shan’s personality has started to slip. We readers and Mo Guan Shan have seen more and more of his weak moments, fears, and insecurities. He has started to feel safe and secure with Mo Guan Shan. And I suppose all of that is where the usual arguments about the development from “toxic” to “less toxic” stem from.

But. He Tian will never not be pushy and dominant. Even if he doesn’t want Mo Guan Shan to become meek and agreeable, he still won’t let his objections and resistance discourage his affections. He will never be the type that asks for permission for everything. Or even every other thing. He will always keep his arm hooked around Mo Guan Shan’s shoulders despite how much he keeps struggling.

You could see all of that through the lenses of “toxic” but also as two characters developing together. It can be a very subtle difference in perspective, but I think it’s a rather important one.

Some time ago, OldXian gave us part 3 of the Christmas special that takes place in the future. I saw readers being somewhat disappointed that Tianshan hadn’t developed as much as or in the direction they had wished. These two panels especially seemed to dampen the mood a little (ch. 313):

It didn’t seem like they had grown much closer. However, I would say their future relationship is pretty much as I expected it to be. Mo Guan Shan was quick to say no as a knee-jerk reaction but kind of letting He Tian get away with things. He wasn’t putting up quite as fierce of a fight as he would have in the past. He Tian, on the other hand, was still physically dominant and mischevious and yet affectionate. It almost seemed like he was craving for physical closeness.

If you take into account the things I think are fundamental about the characters and will never go away in their relationship, I think the level of development might make more sense. I doubt Mo Guan Shan will ever be honest or open about his feelings towards He Tian. But he will grant us little pieces of subtle, unexpected affection here and there. Little hints that he doesn’t mind He Tian’s company as much as he claims. And in return, He Tian will keep pushing because he knows he’s not truly making Mo Guan Shan do something he really doesn’t want to. But that dynamic is still toxic in the people’s eyes who have always thought so.

Moments that have bothered me

As much as I ship Tianshan, there have been a few moments in their dynamic and development that I have been bothered by. But again, I don’t really see them as being toxic but rather as learning curves of their relationship.

The first kiss (ch. 174):

I have never found this kiss hot or sexy. Actually, He Tian sticking his tongue out like that and shoving it in Mo Guan Shan’s mouth always freaks me out a little. I’m frankly turned off by it. But it served as an important lesson. And I don’t think it made He Tian toxic. He hadn’t meant the kiss the way Mo Guan Shan took it. He was genuinely confused by Mo Guan Shan’s reaction and realized he had crossed a line with him.

Let’s make a run for it (ch. 273):

I know this was a rather minor moment, but the level of disregard by He Tian at the moment has always annoyed me. Mo Guan Shan has responsibilities he’s getting paid for, so he can’t just up and leave according to He Tian’s whims. The world doesn’t work that way. But his life has always been vastly different from Mo Guan Shan’s, so it’s good he’s exposed to different ways of life.

He Tian and people who aren’t Mo Guan Shan (ch. 295):

I doubt He Tian really pays attention to the group around Mo Guan Shan or cares about them. I think that also means he wouldn’t hesitate to be an ass to them if he’s not feeling particularly nice or thinks they’re getting in the way. That trait is what I have always disagreed the most with the thug way of life. Not really caring about people who don’t directly concern you and thinking it’s okay to be over the top offensive if someone happens to wrong you somehow. In society, you don’t have the right to take matters into your own hands and become the judge. And just because He Tian happens to care about Mo Guan Shan the most, it doesn’t entitle him to treat others badly or bark orders like they don’t have a choice but to submit. 

I’m not in a good mood (ch. 295):

Kind of a continuation of the previous one. I think this was the most frustrated I have been with He Tian. I know what ultimately made him behave that way and it made sense, but for a while, I was annoyed because it seemed He Tian had regressed back to his old ways. Like dude, the world does not revolve around your moods. Other people have feelings, too. The fact that He Tian doesn’t bow down to anyone is one of my favorite things about him, but the lack of humility can also get a bit annoying at times. He Tian is quite physical when it comes to showing his feelings but I hope he will keep getting better at using his words, too. Luckily, Mo Guan Shan is someone who can take him at his worst.

I’m not trying to make it sound like people who see Tianshan as toxic are somehow wrong or can’t make valid points. As you noticed, even I’ve had certain moments I didn’t agree with. But perhaps because crying “toxic” is so common in fandoms these days and it’s used as a weapon to diss other’s taste in fictional relationships, I somewhat prefer to distance myself from that particular way of looking at things. He Tian and Tianshan most certainly aren’t flawless, but if you take a step back you come to realize toxicity is a surprisingly narrow perspective. It leaves out the characters as a whole by pointing at just certain traits and removing them from their context.

Thank you for your question, dear anon-san!

Love In Disguise (Part 3)

Here are the previous parts as well. Hope you like them. :)

Insert your name wherever you see a ____.

___'s POV

That evening I ended up going to the Astronomy Tower again just to clear my head. I hated how I liked Sirius. I should not like him. I should focus on my studies,my OWLs are just a few months away but here I was feeling upset and annoyed over a guy. Ugh Sirius Black I hate you so much.

You know you love him,my mind taunted.

It was then that I felt something soft rubbing against my ankles. I looked down to see ... oh it's the dog. I loved him so much.

Come to think of it,where did this dog come from ? These two months that I've spent time playing,patting,feeding this big shaggy black dog,I never really wondered whose dog was this. Where did he come from ?

I bent down and caressed his soft fur and kissed him. He wagged his tail adorably. Oh I loved him so much.

"Oh boy I don't have any food with me today honey. I'm sorry. I was too preoccupied with my thoughts".

I didn't know why but I would talk to him as if he was a friend who would clearly understand what I was saying. Sometimes I really felt as if he could understand me. Hell he even came in my dreams. One night I dreamt that i was in the astronomy tower and he suddenly changed to a man. But I couldn't see the man's face.Of course I didn't care much as in dreams anything crazy can happen. But still I had this dream twice now. Does it mean anything ? Hah probably not. Just my subconscious mind playing tricks on me.

The next day was Friday. Hogsmeade weekend was the next day. I loved going to Hogsmeade. Especially Honeydukes Sweet Shop,Zonko's Joke Shop and The Three Broonsticks were my favourite Hogsmeade attractions.

That evening as I was going up to the Astronomy Tower,I heard someone calling me.

I turned around to see Cedric Connors,a popular sixth year Ravenclaw hurrying towards me. He was a hot topic among the girls. With azure eyes,a sharp jawline,a very nice body with jet black hair,this guy was quite the looker. His smile was equally attractive. I can't believe such a handsome guy was approaching me. But,for what ?

"Hey hi ____".

"H-hi Cedric. What are you doing here ?". I hope I wasn't blushing too madly.

"I uh". Now it was him who was blushing. God,he looked cute.

"Look ___ I just wanted to ask if ... maybe you would like to go for a walk across the Black Lake ?",he smiled sheepishly,scratching the back of his head.

Oh God this senior was adorable. If I hadn't already had a massive crush on Sirius,I'd have one on him.

Ugh ___ stop thinking about Sirius. A handsome guy is asking you out for God's sake.

"Walk ?".

"Uh yeah. Um it's ok if you don't want to .. I mean".

"Ah no. Sure I will".

"Great then I'll see you after 10 minutes ?"

"Sure.", I smiled at him. He smiled back. Wow that smile.

"I'll wait for you here".

*********

Cedric Connors turned out to be a really nice guy. He was intelligent,funny,charming and friendly. I really had a good time with him.

"Um ___. Can I ask you something ?",he asked as we came back and stood near the Gryffindor tower.

"Sure".

"Will you uh ... would you like to ... maybe go to Hogsmeade with me tomorrow ?".

"Oh yes I'd love to Cedric".

"Great. So I'll see you at 4pm tomorrow ?"

"You bet",I smiled back.

He leant down and kissed my cheek. Oh God now I was definitely a tomato.

"Bye ___. See you tomorrow".

"Bye Cedric".

He turned around to leave when James and Remus were entering the common room.

"Got a new boyfriend __ ?",James smirked.

"Dude no. We were just talking".

"Ah huh. Then why did he kiss you on the cheek ? Ah you like him".

"Shut up Potter". He smirked back.

"Bowtruckle" I said the password and hurried up to my dormitory. I needed to see what to wear tomorrow now that I had a date. Was it a date really ?

********

That Friday evening Sirius was disappointed. He had waited for ___ to turn up,this time in his human form. He wanted to confess his feelings finally now that suddenly he was feeling courageous. He didn't know where his courage came from but he wanted it get it out of his chest.

But ___ hadn't turned up like the other days. He felt frustrated. Why today of all the days when he wanted to confess ? Why today ? What else had her attention that evening ?

He went back to the Gryffindor Common Room to find James,Remus and Peter in one corner chatting away. ___ was nowhere to be seen in the crowded Common Room.

Sirius let out a deep sigh. He walked over to where his friends were sitting.

"Hey Padfoot",smirked James.

Sirius gave a small smile.

"What's wrong Padfoot ? It's really rare to see you like this,so disappointed and downcast. Letter from home ? Merlin's beard,what does that woman --?"

"No no it's not that. It's ... just something else".

"It's ___ isn't it ?",asked Remus,looking very concerned.

Sirius ran his tongue on the insides of his cheek and let out a sigh.

"I saw her with that Ravenclaw prefect this evening. He walked her till here and kissed her on the cheek. They're probably going to -- ".

Something flickered in Sirius' eyes. He nodded.

"Uh lads .. I'm going to bed. I'm so tired today",he said pretending to yawn.

"Uh ok,Padfoot. Goodnight",James frowned.

Sirius went up to his dormitory and laid down in his bed. He tossed and turned around until sleep finally consumed him in the early hours of dawn.

**********

___ was nervous as hell the next day. She fussed over every little thing. What to wear,need any potion for her face or not. "Just be yourself. Cedric likes you it's seems. And as for clothes you're good. Just wear whatever you usually. You don't want to look like you're trying to hard now would you ?"

"Uh no".

"Then ? Be yourself. Good luck ___".

Cedric was waiting for her near the Great Hall. He gave a captivating smile that made her heart flutter.

The Hogsmeade date was so much fun. They went to the Zonko's Joke Shop. Cedric was surprised to see ___ but so many pranking items.

"You thought I was some good girl ?",she laughed.

They had been to Madam Puddifoot's Tea Shop. The place was filled with couples,mostly from Hogwarts. Cedric and ___ turned heads as they walked in hand in hand.

___ was not shocked to see Sirius with another girl. Sirius never went on dates. But this time he was with a pretty brunette from Hufflepuff. ____'s heart beat faster. It was Cedric who brought her back to reality from her trance.

Cedric and ___ spent time talking about their childhood,families,interests. Hell ___ genuinely laughed at his jokes,they were that good. She even forgot to be jealous of the brunette sitting with Sirius some four tables away.

***********

The sight of ____ and that I infuriating Ravenclaw tore at Sirius' heartstrings. How he longed to be the one sitting and laughing with ____. And Merlin's beard,were his jokes not funny ? ____ never laughed so heartily at the jokes he cracked. He wanted to go back to the school. But he was a gentleman. He wouldn't leave a girl alone if he brought her on a date,even if it was his first time. And the girl Chrissy or Casey whatever her name was knew the terms. He wasn't looking for any commitment unless it was with ____ but he did not tell her that of course. As soon the girl finished her food,he made some excuse about not feeling well (she believed it because Sirius hardly touched his food at all),paid for the food and headed back to Hogwarts with her. He had had enough.

***********

A/N : Hope y'all liked it. It's shorter than usual. But should the ending be for Team Sirius or Team Cedric ? I kind of have both endings figured out. Thank you for reading.

THis fandom is the worst bottomless pit of scum that ever existed and it's their fault the show fell as far as it did. And you're contributing to it. You don't deserve to call yourself a fan. You may as well forget it existed. I would much prefer that instead of you mocking it.

Oh hey! My first ask! Neat!

Anyway, let’s break down this comment.

This fandom is the worst bottomless pit of scum that existed

I believe this was written in a response to my latest reblog, in which in the tags, I said that the fanon content is pretty good, and the fandom has gotten a lot less rancid since the show ended. This is from my perspective of it all. I’ve never really experienced or seen that many ship wars, that much toxicity, or people blackmailing animation studios for the year and a quarter I’ve been in this fandom. I’m not denying that that ever happened, I’m not saying that those don’t matter, I’m saying that from my experience, and comparing it to the previous things that people reported going on in the fandom, the fandom seems to have improved, or gotten less toxic.

Now, I’m not an omniscient being, I don’t know if people are still doing those things. I don’t know if people are still harassing the VA’s and their families. From my experience, there’s cool people and cool art and cool au’s with only the occasional anti. Keep in mind again, I joined after the fandom had died, after December 14th, after a lot of the shit died down and people moved on. Which brings me onto another point I feel I have to make:

You’re grouping in all of the good people with the toxic ones.

While it is true that there were quite a lot of shitty, toxic people in the Voltron fandom, you neglect to mention that there are good people who just want to make content for a show they enjoy. And it’s true that bad publicity always gets more attention than good publicity. It’s why Rockstar paid people to write bad reviews for GTA V. Bad publicity gets infinitely more attention than good publicity. You’re more likely to focus on a person who continually attacks others based on their beliefs than someone who spends a lot of time and care working on something they really love. But this doesn’t mean there aren’t genuinely talented people creating amazing content purely out of passion. 

Now, let’s look at the next part of this sentence.

it's their fault the show fell as far as it did

Here, I’m presuming you’re referring to the show’s reputation, but this is a very shallow mindset, pinning all of the blame on the fandom. I do admit, Voltron’s toxic fandom did give it a reputation, all right, and also served as a warning to other shows as to how toxic a fanbase could become. But you neglect to mention that quite a lot of the bad rep was created by the show and its staff itself. 

Let’s take a look at Adam. He was introduced as Shiro’s boyfriend through a tweet made by the official Voltron twitter account. This got fans hyped for the new season, expecting the show to give good representation.

What they got was a short, 30 second scene, which in no way communicated a romantic relationship, and then Adam getting killed. Voltron then got a bad reputation for queerbaiting. The fandom owns neither the twitter account or runs the show. The backlash was produced by the fandom, but that would’ve happened in any other fandom. Promising something in a show, and then falling flat on that promise, especially with something as touchy as LGBT representation, isn’t a fault of the fandom. It’s a fault of the show and its staff.

Oh, and that’s not even touching into the bad reputation built up by the show by its bad writing, which I will get into later.

And you're contributing to it. You don't deserve to call yourself a fan.

Looking at the definition of a fan: an apparatus with rotating blades that creates a current of a- wrong definition, I mean a fan, or fanatic, sometimes also termed aficionado or enthusiast, is a person who exhibits strong interest or admiration for something or somebody. By that definition, I am a fan. Nothing in what you do or say can stop the fact that I find enjoyment in VLD. Sometimes, I just portray that enjoyment by critiquing it, and hating on it.

Second off, you’re just some anon on the internet. Why am I obliged to live by your judgement of who is and isn’t a fan? Whatever you say, I’m just going to make Voltron content anyway. I’m only writing this because I like writing these kind of things, and it’s good practice.

You may as well forget it existed. I would much prefer that instead of you mocking it. 

After reading this, it is clear that OP holds the show in a very high light. Focus on the last few words ‘instead of you mocking it.’ OP, you do realise that if something is public, no matter what, it is susceptible to any Tom, Dick or Sally mocking it. I mock VLD because it is far from the best of the best. This doesn’t mean I do not enjoy it. This doesn’t mean no one can enjoy it. It just has a ton of blatant flaws when you look at it in a critique. Don’t believe me? Let me get you a few videos of a few different people explaining in depth why there are issues with VLD.

An In-Depth Analysis of Voltron: Legendary Defender

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=84sYxPIiCoU

One Year Later: Is Voltron Still Bad?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AtlqGJTdaxs&t=5s

How Voltron: Legendary Defender Crashed and Burned

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ae5oovf1CEo

Anyway, that’s all from me for now. I had some good fun replying to this, and even got to visit some cool videos again!

All this typing's made me hungry. I'm getting a croissant.

A lot of people talk about various cuts and changes that negatively affect doctors and nurses, often in a 'the government are killing the NHS so they can privatise' thing, but there's one thing I don't get. Do the government and higher ups not realise that of there aren't any doctors or nurses there... Aren't any doctors and nurses? For anyone?

Well, that’s a question and a half! I apologise in advance that this is going to be a long and rambling answer, but I do feel that a bit of background on the NHS would help it all make sense. I guess the answer would depend on just how much into conspiracy theories you are, and what your overall view of the government there is. We all differ in what we think, and just how much we trust politicians, but I urge each and every person to just take their time and consider what ANY person’s motivations may be. Politically, financially, personally, when thinking about their actions. Never assume people intend to do the worst, but neither assume people are always trying to do the best, either. Because people are complicated. Obviously, I think most sensible people would agree that less doctors and nurses are a problem. However, I doubt that most people could agree exactly what to do about it, especially if they had to spend money to make it happen. The way that our workforce changes is complex, and governed by a lot of different things going on with the NHS...Short Term GoalsSee, the government is only usually in power for 2-3 terms, then it becomes the opposition’s problem to sort out. So politicians are incentivised to focus on short term ratehr than long term solutions. You’ll notice politics is all about fiddling around with stuff, but it appears that we keep having to reform everything; reforms to health, reforms to education; politicians are frequently announcing that their party are gonna revolutionise and fix things. Every party wants to be able to say that they’ve delivered some of the promises they made to be voted in during the last election, and fiddling around with stuff seems like an innate part of that. Some people feel that politicians prioritise this part too much. You’ll also probably notice that politicians might not have much real world experience outside of politics. Many of them even studied politics at uni, and proportionally a smaller number of them had real world jobs before politics. So your politician in charge of health won’t have been a doctor, nurse or paramedic, probably never had any experience in running a hospital, and hopefully listens to the people who advise them on what it is actually like. You hope.  Anyhow, you’ll also notice that things called cabinet reshuffles occur; so the politician in charge of say, education might be moved to foreign policy. Or someone might be moved from prisons to being in charge of healthcare. Now, we all use healthcare. But that doesn’t mean everyone can agree on what the best thing is to do. And arguably, many of us believe that politicians tend to be motivated by making a point that they’ve done something for the past few years, rather than setting up a longer term plan that they may not get a chance to finish. Doctors and Nurses and demoralisation I personally believe imposing contracts on doctors was a BAD idea. You might finger wag and tell us it’s better for us (uh, we can do maths... we know some of us really lost out), but even if it genuinely was better for us, people don’t do well with being ignored and having their terms of employment changed. It breeds resentment. We feel more vulnerable to being overworked, some of us get paid more, others less, the system is more confusing, and this feeds into people’s general burnout and resentment, meaning people who were on the fence about remaining in the NHS are more likely to leave. Same for the ridiciulous pay rise caps for staff in general ( which have all been below inflation for the past several years, meaning that we are, in real terms, paid less every year) which I really don’t think helped in retaining nurses and other staff like paramedics. Nurses, HCAs, physios, paramedics and many other hospital staff are really paid modestly for the work they do, so not even making sure that their pay is in line with inflation was a really sucky move. I think they are finally relaxing this, but for many nurses it might be too little, too late. The nurses who long decided that they can’t afford to do their job any more? A tiny pay rise may not be enough to get them to stay. I promise you that most nurses aren’t earning bucket loads; I’ve met uber drivers who used to nurse. I don’t think the government have any real idea how to fix demoralisation, and really it’s generally just been made worse by lots of the changes. Calling our BluffWhat’s a word you associate with doctors and nurses? Caring? Vocation? Commitment? We’re seen as staff who are highly passionate about what we do. And because of this, it’s believed that we’ve bought into the jobs we have. And we generally do; it’s part of our identity. It changes how we think, how we live, and to a huge degree, who we are. I’m not the same person I was in school; I’ve learned to think more analytically, to assess things more coolly, and to think more carefully before I speak. But I think it’s true that it becomes a part of your very identity, and that we’re very, very emotionally tied to our jobs. Also, we’ve put our eggs in one basket. We’ve spent years or even decades training to do this one thing, so we’re kind of stuck with it. Some of us have other talents and hobbies, but on the whole medicine kinda ties you down and takes away all your free time. And politicians know this. They know we’re emotionally attached to our role, and tied into medicine. So do journalists, if the papers were anything to go by last year.  I suspect that when we protested, a lot of people said “yeah, as if they are all gonna quit!”. People know we care about patients. They also know we put up with a lot of crap already, and that’s why people assume we’ll just put up with lots more. And we do put up with so much. And  many of us will keep putting up with things if things get worse; I’ll be honest with you, we won’t all quit, because people need to put food on the table and because we like helping people. But many of us staying isn’t always enough. Even if some of us leave, the rest will really struggle to cope. Most rotas have empty slots; people have been leaving for some time, and there’s a real need for doctors and nurses to fill those gaps. I’m talking about most (if not every hospital) being short of significant numbers of doctors and nurses. Not just the odd one here and there. But of course, the politicians don’t see how this affects us. If a hospital is standing, patients still get care, and they are understaffed, someone might think “well, they seem to be coping”, not realising that this means everyone is more stressed and working harder, staying late, and fighting to keep patients safe. Being overworked increases our risk of harm to patients, because we don’t have the same amount of time to check things are done right, so missing things is more likely. And I think some people use this against us. People throw the vocation card at you. “But it’s a vocation!” they say. You should be motivated by your sheer passion for helping people, alone. And it frustrates me, because if we want to improve working conditions or patient care, how dare you imply that we lack vocation?! I’d like anyone who thinks this way to come and see what we do, before they say something like that. Although docs and nurses aren’t motivated by money, it’s true to say that we can’t live on fuzzy feelings and altruism; even though we may not want pay rises, the things we’d suggest to make the NHS better (like better staffing, more equipment etc) would all cost money. I don’t think I have many suggestions that are free. And that’s why we fear that things won’t get better; even if we have suggestions on how to improve things, there probably won’t be the funds to make it happen. We actually do a lot of small audits and quality improvement projects on what we can do to improve healthcare that we give in our departments, to try and make things better (on a budget; we do this research all for free and for portfolio points), but there’s only so much you can do for free. How do you get more staff?You’ll notice that governments are fond of annouincing that they will find more nurses or doctors. Sometimes they even use the words ‘train’ more. But ALWAYS ask yourself; are they going to pay for it? How long will it take to train them? Have they actually increased med school/nursing school places to accommodate this? Can universities even accommodate those figures? Because a lot of the figures coming out just seem implausible. No, you won’t get X thousand more GPs very fast, because it’s areal struggle to recruit to training, and it takes 10 years to get someone through med school and to become a qualiffied GP. And that’s assuming people want to do the job and are staying in medicine, which they may well not. I’m not a fan of the idea of forcing people to stay, which is occasionally floated. People like to raise large scary figures of ‘how much it costs to train a doctor’, but those figures also include things like our tuition fees, the costs WE pay towards exams and training, and our actual salaries. The money the government pays hospitals to train us just seem to to into the general hospital pot. The only official training I’ve ever got since I graduated med school was 1 hour of weekly teaching by a consultant. And a couple of simulation courses now and again. The rest of our learning is from my own reading, preparing for exams, and talking to our colleagues. Most of the learning we do is informal, due to the good will of our peers and our seniors. We teach each other; I’m not paid any more for instilling my advice into my peers, it’s just part of our job to educate each other.  So I personally get mad when these figures are used to justify forcing people to stay. Because having talked friends who were really, really having a bad time with medicine off metaphorical ledges, I really don’t agree with the idea of forcing people to stay. I’m not an indentured servant, and the government isn’t tying all its other graduates to their supposed jobs, so I don’t see why a workforce with a worse than average risk of  burnout, mental health problems and suicide should be tied down against their will. It’s a very, very bad idea, and it’s one of the things that will completely evaporate any remaining goodwill between us and our employer. We put in blood sweat and tears, but if that’s not valued then our relationship with our employer will change. It’s hard to care about someone who doesn’t care about you. Don’t force us to stay. Make us not want to leave. We’re passionate people. We went into this because we loved it and wanted to dedicate our lives to it. If we’re leaving, it’s not a poorly thought out decision; medicine is part of our identity and nobody discards that cape so easily. Let’s poach doctors and nurses from other countries!And this is kind of what we’ve been doing. The NHS owes a huge debt to countries like India. I’m not talking about my British Asian colleagues who, like me are from immigrant backgrounds; we have a lot of colleagues who were born, educated and medically trained abroad who have come over here to work as (most often) doctors and nurses. And this is cheap for our country because somewhere like India trains a doctor, who comes over here effectively for free and works for us. Or all the nurses trained by the Phillippines, or Spain or Romania etc. This is much cheaper than training more staff here (who might then go abroad themselves), but it’s not sustainable and it’s not ethical in huge numbers to brain drain other countries. So you can argue that the government (to go back to your original question) are probably hoping that if current staff leave, they might be able to replace them with new ones. Perhaps even new ones who are willing to put up with worse conditions because they are used to worse. Perhaps I’m being cynical, but that’s often the case when you bring in foreign workers. Always think about the working conditions that workers are being asked to tolerate. I really personally think the government aren’t taking retention of qualified seriously enough. I don’t know why that is; some people might believe it’s deliberate, others might just believe politicians are inept. Maybe they just don’t know how to keep us. I suspect that it’s a balance for them; between keeping staff and trying to ‘find savings’ and ‘deliver promises’ of a 24h NHS (hint: we already have 24h emergency care, but you don’t need a routine appointment at 3am). The contract debacle makes me suspect that they want to claw back some money from the NHS, because the way they treated us doctors certainly wasn’t to make US feel better. There has to have been a financial reason for it, and most of us think that the reason was to make it cheaper to roster us for more hours or more antisocial/oncall hours. Effectively a pay cut, but by another name. Because if you do more difficult work for the same money, that would have paid more, then your pay is effectively cut, even if it technically stays the same. I have no trouble believing that the government could want to get more out of us. Because we’re a resource that provides a service. I don’t know if people at the top see me as more than a machine; I believe actions, not words, and it’s been a long while since most of us have seen actions that suggest otherwise. I think THAT’s what really demoralised many of my colleagues; feeling like we’re just being treated like robots that provide care. At any rate, they suck at retaining staff. The system is stressful, they keep mucking us about with our contracts and our training, and it’s just a big extra headache on top of the whole saving lives kinda thing. You have so many trained, passionate people who are already highly skilled, and you let them burn out and they leave medicine or nursing and never come back. And people keep talking about bringing in mroe, but nobody talks about what is causing us to leave. because the real answers would cost money; better staffing, better funding, better organisation. And politicians don’t like spending money, because there’s never enough to go around. It’s cheaper to poach trained staff than it is to train your own. And it’s trickier to retain the ones it is than it is to just offer to bring in more. Let’s Talk about MoneyArguably, most people would support paying more for the NHS, if any tax rise was guaranteed to be for that. Most people on the street value healthcare. So people in general are quite sceptical; why do politicians not do this? It seems straightforward. Obviously, people don’t like tax rises, and there’s always arguments about who should be taxed more, where it should go, etc, but I think healthcare is one of the few things people are generally supportive of. And they’d be even more so if they realise we’re paying less than most Western contries for healthcare. Only, there’s a lot of misinformation being spread. I routinely read comments declaring the NHS ‘inefficient’ and ‘bloated’, but we pay less than many countries per head, and bodies like the King’s Fund or even more independent bodies usually rate the NHS highly on efficiency. This narrative suits people who want to argue that the NHS needs more cuts and reorganising (hint: people who work in the NHS hate reorganising because it makes no difference at the frontline level and it wastes time and money hospitals don’t have), and the idea that we don’t need more money to offer improtant services, we just need to be better with the money we have. Which passes the blame from the government (whose NHS budgets have not been meeting recommended amounts) to hospitals, who should just be expected to make do with what they’ve got. Interestingly, hospitals aren’t just handed money for existing and having patients that need care, they have to meet targets to actually be funded. So if they are struggling, and miss targets, they get penalised, get less money or the coming year/s. Which most sensible people would realise is a problem; how can they do better if they have less money with which to improve? When hospitals get declared really bad and put in special measures, they get some more funding and attention (and more CQC visits) to help put them right. But the penalty system can appear a bit flawed because most hospitals are already struggling and many are ‘overspending’.  I don’t know what we would replace this with, but I’m a little uneasy about how it all works at present. Aaand in Summary, People Just Don’t Trust PoliticiansGiven that it’s sensible to assume we’d want to keep doctors and nurses on board, people come up with all sorts of reasons why politicians choose the choices they do. Why impose contracts? Why freeze pay? Why not train more? Why not improve working conditions? And people come up with all sorts of interesting answers. Some people believe politicians are just inept; perhaps they don’t know how to run healthcare. Perhaps treating us like robots is backfiring. Perhaps they’ve just assumed we’d put up with crap, but they overestimated how much crap we’re willing to put up with. Perhaps they are trying to think of ways to force us to stay, but they just aren’t working, or can’t be implemented. People are fallible; running a health service is hard. All parties mess up; I don’t believe in laying all the blame on one person or one party alone. Others believe politicians are deliberately running the NHS down for political or financial reasons. Because certain companies (hint: private healthcare) would benefit hugely if the NHS was privatised. It would be huge. And companies are powerful and good at lobbying, and many of us fear how much of a role they may have behind the scenes. It doesn’t help that Hunt co-authored a book about dismantling the NHS. Many people are afraid of who politicians might be lobbied by; because politicians are human with their own personal interests. Many have stakes in private healthcare companies, so arguably some politicians are financially better off if the NHS struggles as more people will go private. Companies tend to look after their own vested interests first and foremost; the way corporations run is built around making more money for themselves, and whilst I wouldn’t say they never act ethically, most people are wary of them. Some people think this is all deliberate. Some politicians gain financially from private healthcare companies, but there’s a general fear of whether others are being influenced by lobbies. Large companies are very, very powerful, and they are motivated to protect their financial interests at all costs, so it’s very sensible to be afraid. Many are particularly afraid that we’d get a US style of healthcare if things were privatised here, and US healthcare is incredibly costly and inefficient; they pay something like 3-4 times more per person for healthcare than we do. And lots of people still can’t afford basic treatments. For many of us working in the NHS, that’s a nightmare scenario. We’re motivated by doing our best to help people, and part of why we try so hard with the problems we have, is because it’s for the NHS.It’s a very popular theory that the governent want to run the NHS down to privatise it, and therefore sell it off to private companies. And it’s hard to argue with something like this, when it happened in the past with rail. So it’s hard to argue against such a conspiracy theory. Because yeah, they would make a ton of money from selling it off. And yeah, they’d have someone else to blame when it all goes wrong, which is something people love because suddenly they arent technically responsible. In terms of politics, that’d be a huge change, and in some ways advantageous to politicians. Arguably, politicians have access to private health care, or at least the funds to access it, so many people are wary because they know that politicians are likely to be OK regardless. I personally hope politicians don’t feel like that, but I know little about what they think or feel so I don’t wish to make assumptions either way. This certainly isn’t eveything about healthcare, but I hope it at least gives you a few ideas of the theories going around, and what it’s like from the inside.