0th turn

EVIL NECK PAIN EVENT. BITCHES HELP

i have such a love for characters who descend into madness or villainy out of deep, deep empathy. characters who fundamentally cannot cope with the cruel realities they find themselves in and blow up about it in spectacular fashion. fallen angel type characters with tears of outrage in their eyes. characters who break before they bend, and break so badly they splatter blood all over their noble ideals. every variation on it gets me so good

the accolade ( the...the cat-olade...)

HEDGEHOGS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

as a long-time sonic fan i've grown so tired of the whole "sonic and shadow aren't friends. they don't like each other, actually." narrative that's become the norm. anyway thank you sonic prime???????

child ward in search of belonging indulges in juvenile fantasies as a coping mechanism. sad!

So there’s Lando who is in love with Carlos, who have been together since the moment they met, but Carlos is also probably sleeping with Charles, even though their relationship seems to be falling to pieces, but Charles is also in love with Max, who is his literal soulmate and they’re obsessed with each other, but Max is also in love with Daniel, who was his older, cooler teammate who he pathetically fell in love with, but Max was also kinda in love with Carlos when they were younger, and now that’s over but Lando now has a weird thing going on with Oscar, who is his younger much calmer teammate, but Oscar has a thing going on with Logan, who is his childhood friend, and Logan is teammates with Alex, who loves his girlfriend but also kinda loves George, who is also his childhood friend, and George also loves his girlfriend but also kinda loves Alex, but George also has a weird thing for Lewis, who is his teammate and a big thing in f1, and Lewis had a lovers to enemies thing with Nico, who used to be his best friend, but he also had cute little thing with Seb, who was his rival but in a cute way, and Seb was basically married to Kimi, who had a soft spot for Seb, but Seb also had a toxic thing with Mark, the promising Red Bull driver that never accomplished what he wanted, and Mark was absolutely gone on Fernando, who was also absolutely gone on him, but Jenson was also gone on Fernando, who was his teammate at mclaren, and Jenson also could’ve had a thing with Seb and a thing with Nico, but—

PART TWO

you wanted to be a good friend, because you loved your friends, but the truth was that everyone else somehow had a pamphlet on being normal that you never received. most of the time you learn by trial-and-error. you are terrified of the next big mistake you make, because it seems like the rules are completely arbitrary.

you've learned to keep the prickly parts of your personality in a stormcloud under your bed - as if they're a second version of you; one that will make your friends hate you. it feels feral, burning, ugly.

instead, you have assembled habits based on the statistical likelihood of pleasing others. you're a good listener, which is to say - if you do speak up, you might end up saying the wrong thing and scaring off someone, but people tend to like someone-who-listens. or you've got no true desires or goals, because people like it when you're passive, mutable. you're "not easy to fluster" which is to say - your emotions are fundamentally uninteresting to others around you; so you've learned to control them to a degree that you can no longer really feel them happening.

you have long suspected something is wrong with you, but most of the time, googling doesn't help. you are so-used to helping-yourself, alone and with no handbook. the reek of your real self feels more like a horrible joke - you wake up, and, despite all your preparations, suddenly the whole house is full of smoke. the real you is someone waiting to ruin your other-life, the one where you're normal and happy. the real-self is unpredictable, angry.

your real self snarls when people infantilize the whole situation. because if you were really suffering, everyone seems to think you'd be completely unable to cope. but you already learned the rules, so you do know how to cope, and you have fucking been coping. it's not black-and-white. it's not that you are healed during the other times - it's just that you're able to fucking try. and honestly, whenever you show symptoms, it's a really fucking bad sign.

because the symptoms you have are ugly and unmanageable for others. your symptoms aren't waifish white girl things. they're annoying and complicated. they will be the subject of so many pretentious instagram reels. if they cared about you, they'd just show up on time. you care, a lot, so deeply it burns you. you like to picture a world where the comments read if they loved you, they'd never need glasses to see. but since that's a rule you've seen repeated - "one must never be late or you are a bad friend" - you constantly worry about being late and leave agonizingly early. there are no words for how you feel when you're still late; no matter how hard you were trying.

so you have to make up for it. you have to make up for that little horrible real you that you keep locked in a cabinet. you are bad at answering emails so every project you make has to be perfect. you are weird and sensitive so you have to learn to be funny and interesting. you are an inconvenience to others, so you become as smooth as possible, buffing out all the rough parts.

all this. all this. so people can pass their hands over you and just tell you just the once -how good you are. you're a good friend. you're loveable.

[ID in ALT] Steph and Damian doodle! This taps a bit into their pre-52 dynamic so that's what I was thinking design wise at first but I wanted to draw it w their more recent designs as well to stay hashtag current and topical, so you get both/a fusion, lol

sacred heart

The one piece reread only makes the hardest moments hit even harder,,,, even when you’re rereading it poorly in portugese

Or AKA, i found out today that HINATA SHOYO reads one piece and I haven’t recovered since

why do people gatekeep queer identies?? like,, isn't the whole point of the queer community that we're sick of being told who we are and aren't allowed to be?? stop shunning queer people for being queer in ways you don't like

and suddenly, a naked Mark Antony appears

Nicolaus, Life of Augustus 72, trans. Mark Toher

if there one thing about shadow it’s that that guy will have sisters