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twwpress · 2 years

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Creator Spotlight: Week 2

Welcome to week 2 of TWW fandom creator spotlights! For every spotlight, we’ll ask each featured creator ten questions as well as questions submitted by you. This week, we’re chatting with aleena (@claudiasjeans // claudiasjeancregg on ao3!

All answers are directly from Aleena. Let’s give her a big round of applause and a lot of love for being our first featured creator! Questions under the cut:

1) What are your top 5 desert island fics by other authors?

the age of aquarius by speranza https://archiveofourown.org/works/173

This is, in my opinion, the classic J/D fic. If you haven’t read it, please go read it.

the obliterated place by thiswildernessismyhome https://archiveofourown.org/works/783426

I love this fic, CJ/Andy is my entire world and I’ve never seen them done as well as in this fic.

aftershock by greatestheights https://archiveofourown.org/works/4786607 or a stoic mind and a bleeding heart by greatestheights https://archiveofourown.org/works/3507155

Honestly, everything this author writes is my favorite fic. These two are especially gorgeous, and the characterization is just incredible.

for you i would ruin myself a million little times by crossingdelancey https://archiveofourown.org/works/35076877 or through the long night with you by crossingdelancey https://archiveofourown.org/works/32866225

Kate is my favorite CJ/Toby author and it was honestly impossible to pick two of her fics. These two are everything to me, I honestly reread one or the other every week.

love is the only thing by mikaylawrites https://archiveofourown.org/works/38785698

This is a recent favorite, I read it on a plane and cried in what is probably my most embarrassing fic reading experience to date. Mikayla is a marvel, and I love all of the characterization and interactions in this fic.

2) Do you have a favorite character to write? Favorite ship(s) to write? Are there characters or ships you'd like to write more of?

My favorite ship to write is absolutely CJ/Toby, but the fact that I’ve only written one J/D fic is a crime because I really do love them so much. I need to write more for them this year, that’s my personal goal. As for characters, I probably write CJ the most so it’s fairly obvious she’s my favorite. Josh and Donna are very, very fun to write, though, because their voices are so distinct and clear in my head. I need to start writing more characters into my fics— I especially love writing Andy and Charlie.

3) Tell us about your writing process (setup/location? Night or day? Snacks/beverages? Computer/phone/notebook? Music or silence? Anything else you want to share is welcome!)

My writing process varies depending on my inspiration levels, like if it’s an idea I can’t get out of my head, I’ll write the first couple hundred words on my phone and switch to my computer later. I write on my phone often but honestly, writing on my computer is infinitely better. I usually end up writing at night because that’s usually when I have time, and I love listening to music but I find that I usually forget to put it on and then can’t bring myself to make any changes once I’ve started writing.

4) What writing advice do you have for others who may be reading this?

Honestly, just write bad fics. I still consider myself a very new writer, so I don't know how qualified I am to give advice, but I think writing should be fun, not a source of anxiety. Don't expect everything you write to be good, especially when you start. Half of what I write is never going to be seen by anyone but myself, and that’s perfectly okay. Also, have a doc that functions as scrap paper, almost. It’s pretty much exactly what it sounds— when you have an idea or a line you can’t get out of your head, write it there and you’re way more likely to use it later. Someone gave me that advice last year and it’s honestly made me write so much more.

5) From where do you usually draw your inspiration? (Other forms of media, music, tropes, etc?)

I draw my inspiration from you guys, honestly. Everyone in this fandom has a million good ideas a day, and that’s probably what inspires me the most frequently. I’m definitely inspired by movies and other media as well, especially for AU ideas.

6) What is the fic you've written that you're most proud of and why?

I’m most proud of engraved upon my heart (in letters deeply worn) https://archiveofourown.org/works/27139615 or shout if you want my heart (it’s an open invitation) https://archiveofourown.org/works/34041280 because the first is my only J/D fic to date and it’s just so cute. They’re so adorable and perfect, and it always makes me happy to reread that fic. The second fic was a CJ/Toby prompt fill, I wrote it so fast after not writing for months and I’m just proud of the writing in that one.

7) What's the fic trope/concept/AU you'd read 1000 of? What's the fic trope/concept/AU you'd write 1000 of?

Oh, this is hard. Off the top of my head, I’d read 1000 post-canon AUs of either J/D or CJ/Toby. I’d also write 1000 of those, if I’m being perfectly honest. Also, I’d write thousands of canon divergence AUs— the fact that I have two separate AUs that involve CJ getting shot during TWW canon says something about me and I don't know if it’s good.

8) Is there anything you'd like to try writing-wise that you haven't yet?

There’s so, so much! I want to try writing more J/D, I want to write more ensemble found family dynamics, I want to actually finish and post a fic above 15k words (my royalty AU is double that, but it doesn’t count because my brain will not let me finish it.) I also really want to write an Outsider POV fic because I think the show lends itself so well to that.

9) What's your go-to Starbucks/coffee shop/other drink order?

I’m not a big coffee person so I usually end up getting the Double Chocolate Chip Frappuccino or the Mango Dragonfruit Refresher.

10) Do you have any current projects you'd like to promote or anything upcoming you'd like to tell us about?

I’m currently working on my August BBOC fic, hopefully teasing it here will force me to finish it in the three days I have left. Also, perpetually announcing the royalty au I’ve been writing for years that I have made little to no progress on recently. It's my pride and joy, finally passed 30k, and I really need to finish it.

Submitted questions:

From @sam_writes_fics: if you could write a fic for one ship you’ve never written for before, which pairing would it be?

It would either be Zoey/Charlie, because they are just my favorites ever and have so much potential, or Jed/Leo/Abbey because they are my entire life.

From @mlea7675: What drew you to CJ/Toby in particular?

I love this question so much, even though I have no way to answer it. I would probably say their palpable chemistry, and the way they are intrinsically drawn to each other in every scene. They’re each other’s person, which makes their love so interesting and complicated.

From @jessbakescakes: Which fic of yours did you have the most fun writing?

Ooh, probably my J/D post-canon AU, engraved upon my heart (in letters deeply worn) https://archiveofourown.org/works/27139615. I loved figuring out where every character would be years after the show ended, thinking about their kid’s names, and coming up with ideas for other fics revolving around Seaborn for America.

From @S4MWILSON: what draws u to ur fave ships ? any upcoming work ur excited about ? craziest au you've imagined ? which fic of yours are you most proud of ? fave tww rarepair ? fave things about the show / the fandom ? are there any tropes or motifs that u like to use when writing ?

These questions are so good! The craziest AU I’ve imagined is probably the Much Ado About Nothing AU I dream about writing because like. It makes no sense but it is everything to me. My favorite TWW rarepair is Mallory/Ellie, my queer political daughter OTP. I have so many thoughts about them, it’s insane. My favorite things about the show are the found family aspect, the complexities of every character, and literally everything else. I love this fandom because everyone is supportive, kind, and so talented. I’m so happy to know all of you.

Thanks again, Aleena!

If you’re interested in being featured for a future spotlight, please drop us a line here on tumblr, on twitter, or email [email protected].

xx,

What’s next?

#the west wing #tww #tww fandom #west wing #tww fic #tww author #author spotlight #creator spotlight #josh x donna #josh lyman #donna moss #cj x toby #cj cregg #toby ziegler #ellie bartlet #jed bartlet #abbey bartlet #tww fic recs

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queen-ofsunflowers · 6 months

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For the ask: 7, 8, 9, 10, 17 and 18

Fanfic Writer Ask Game!

7: What’s a troupe you love to write?

My favorite trope that tends to work its way into most -- if not all -- of my fanfics is found family. There's something about it that draws me in. Sometimes you have to choose who your family is, or even open your family to invite in others that aren't related to you by blood. It's the latter that often gets to me.

8: What kind of document do you use to you write? Microsoft Word? Google Docs? Straight in the AO3 text box?

I use Google Docs! Originally it was because of the autosave function on it, but it's also helpful because Google Docs has an app. Which means that I'm able to work on my writing even when I don't have my laptop. Though it lags a bit more because it's on my phone, it's still a feature that I'm grateful for. It also makes sharing with beta readers easier... if I had any, that is.

9: What’s your favorite line(s) or scene(s) that you have written?

OOO. THERE ARE QUITE A FEW. These are the ones that I can come up with off the top of my head:

Iida's line about having to tell Tensei that he tried to commit first degree murder from Peace Sign to the Sky.

Kaminari's foot-in-the-mouth comment and the scene that follows during I-Island Vacation when he sees Ruby in her formalwear

Speaking of Kaminari, his and Ruby's conversation in Falling and Rising about their ADHD. Also Ruby showing Bakugo that she learned sign language for him in the same fic.

Minato's awakening equivalent in Make Every Moment Last.

In the same fic, the scene in chapter 50 with the RyoMina confession. I had been looking forward to putting that out for a while, and I was so happy with the result.

There's also the line about Minato telling fate to go fuck itself. Always iconic.

There are a couple of others, but I haven't shared those fics on my main blog. Those are for the side blogs~

10: What are your top five fics by kudos or by reads

By Reads:

Ruby Rose of Class 1-A

Falling and Rising

A Peace Sign to the Sky

Make Every Moment Last

No More Happy Endings (an older one, but still a good one)

By Kudos:

Ruby Rose of Class 1-A

A Peace Sign to the Sky

Falling and Rising

No More Happy Endings

Make Every Moment Last

17: Are there any writers and/of stories that you consider an influence?

I'm not sure if this means fanfic authors specifically or just authors in general. With fanfic authors, I always point to my fellow writer friends as an influence and an inspiration since their help and support often keeps me going. With authors in general, the main three that I can think of are Rick Riordan -- whose works influenced me as a kid -- as well as Marissa Meyer and Diana Wynne Jones -- the authors of my two of my favorite book series. And I don't know if this counts as such, but Monster High also influenced my love of the supernatural and occult A LOT. Before that, I was scared shitless of monsters. It really did help me do a 180 on that, as well as helped me with my self-confidence.

18: Recommend someone else fic! (And tag them if they have a tumblr!)

The first fic that comes to my mind is The Seventh Stand User is a Kamado?! by @ladyofthebluelight! It's a great read, and the way that both universes are meshed together is done well.

#queen answers #queen plays ask games #playingwithstarsabove

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amindofstone · 3 years

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A pirates treasure

a/n: I am in love with a broken character. I am in love with a man that has “death” tattooed on his fingers. I am in love with a freaking 2D character that has the name “Surgeon of death”. Call me crazy but hey, the owner of a heart was never able to choose in who it falls in love. Yeah, to put it short I am in love with a character that barely has any romantic, lovely or sweet traits but still gets me screaming at 2 am whenever he appears. I am in love with Trafalgar D. Water Law.

a/n edited: My attention was drawn to a huge mistake of mine. I really don't want to justify my mistake and just delete it as if nothing happened. So therefore I'll do a quick explanation.

As you can see I used the picture above as a "cover" for my imagine without making any researches about the artist of the amazing work. I got the picture send by a friend with the request if I could use it and so I did without thinking twice. I should have done my job properly by finding the artist and asking for permission but I didn't and simply neglected that. And I'm truly and really sorry for that and genuinely apologise from the bottom of my heart. I hope I'll be forgiven. The picture used was that of the artist @666deaddash999 that has a blog here on tumblr and definitely should be seen. And again my apologies.

a/n edited pt. 3.: I am in f***ing tears. I don´t deserve this much kindness. This artist, the dear @666deaddash999 , is truely an angel. I really am garteful for being allowed to use it. Like damn they even liked my fic!!! I am in tears and emotional AF!! Anyways have a nice day and thank you for reading my work!

Genre: anime imagine? One Piece imagine?

Character(s): Trafalgar D. Water Law x Rose (reader)

Warnings: Maybe grammar or spelling mistakes. (I genuinely apologize. English is not my mother tongue and I´m really trying to improve. So please be so kind and have mercy)

Words: 4257

Info: Keep in mind that the words in italic are Rose (reader) train of thoughts.

!!! Please do not steal my idea or work. Credit me if this is shared or published in any other platform or any other way. This took me a lot of time. So please respect me as the writer and my work. Picture used is not mine. Credits to the rightful owner. !!!

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"Are you insane?! Can you hear what you're saying right now?! No! Do you know what you're saying right now?!", asked the now furious woman. "She lost her mind Marcus. Your daughter lost her brain on the way back home!!", the woman with the probably most expensive tiara on her head was running around the salon while making sure her husband understood her point in their daughters failure. "For the sake of sanity Marcus say something!!! Won't you?!", the woman yelled at her husband who was sitting on his chair in front of the chimney. “I regret the day I gave birth to you? I regret those nine months I carried you. I did not give birth to you so you can end up like this! This is not what we taught you!”. The king was clearly overwhelmed by the whole situation that had to happen two weeks before the king and his spouse from the neighboring island would come. Right at the moment in which he and his wife decided to make their daughter marry their son. The king who usually was always in a good mood and had a smile on his lips was now the total opposite. He was sad and felt lost. He didn't know how to cope with the situation his wife; or rather life confronted him with.

With a hand covering half of his face and closed eyes he focused on his breathing and just let his spouse calm down first before he spoke what was on his mind. He kept telling himself to breathe in and breath out when the queen’s next words made him stand up and leave the room.

"You traitor! How dare you sit there like you're the victim, you disgrace! You disgusting piece of shit! Where did you leave you honor and pride?! In the bed of that scum?!", the words of the mad woman made the young royal look up for the first time she entered the salon. The princess, the third daughter of one of the most powerful kingdoms, was in tears. A hand covering her mouth with the hope to keep her screams of pain inside she just let the tears stream down her face. “Look what you did you cheap piece of shit. I am disappointed in you. No wonder I never was fond of you and your existence. You are absolutely not capable of anything in this world. And Marcus calls something like you his beloved daughter. Get out and get back to your chambers. I don´t want to see you out of your quarter before the royal family whose son you´ll be marrying will come. You heard me! And I dare you to start another tantrum about the marriage or else I make you regret existing.”, Rose nodded and left the salon without a word.

On her way back to her quarter her brother, the crown prince, saw her and wanted to stop her and ask what their mother said, but she didn´t let him touch her or talk to her. He wanted to hold her and comfort her since he knew how their mother can hurt one with her words but she didn´t let him come closer. She silently left him behind and ran to her save place so she could cry out loud with the hope of getting rid of the pain in her chest. She cried and cried until her maid came with her dinner. The maid tried her best to make the young princess stop crying and eat something but she couldn´t make it. When the food she brought her got cold she tried to at least make her calm down but to no avail. Before the sad maid left the princess alone she took the food she brought her and asked her with pleading eyes if she could do anything for her. The maid thought that she won´t answer her while still shedding tears when the princess who was sitting on her bed looked her in the eye for the first time since she entered her chambers. The maid gave her a genuine and friendly smile while telling her that she´ll do anything for her. But the words of the princess made her stop smiling while the little spark of hope died down. “Kill me and put this miserable life of mine to an end.”, the maid did not know what to say so she left her chambers with a soft apology and a deep bow.

Silence.

Suffocating silence took over her chambers after a while when no sound of her could be heard anymore. Her throat was sore from the hurt screams that left her. Screams she tried to suppress with a pillow or her hand. Screams she held in for weeks. If her throat wouldn´t be hurting by now and if she had just a bit more energy she would be screaming more. She would be screaming from the top of her lungs while trying to get rid of the pain in her chest that seems to be clinching onto her for dear life. Her heart was aching. Her soul was helplessly trying to understand what was happening right now while her brain stopped functioning. She was lifeless. She looked like a corpse sitting on a bed. She didn´t move an inch or dared to breathe aloud. When someone would have entered her chambers they would have thought a doll was sitting on the massive bed and not the princess. The princess the whole kingdom loved for her genuine smile and friendliness. A princess that was loved by ever person that saw her because of the kindness she holds in her heart and eyes.

The princess. A young lady whose beauty was known all over the world. Whose kindness anyone knew and mentioned. A young royal with a genuine heart, a heart as pure as that of an angel. A young royal in the age of 19 that was able to make any person walk over broken glass if they could make her smile. But what happened to her? A young lady who used to walk around the kingdom with a smile upon her lips and a childlike playfulness. What happened to the girl that used to be the happiness of any person in the palest and the kingdom?

Rose, never thought that the day would come she needed to be told how beautiful life can be. She never thought that the day would come where her siblings and maids would have to come and tell her that life is full of love and happiness

Isn´t it funny how fast a person can change? How fast the happiness of a person can be taken away from them. Isn´t it funny how something that is supposed to be good can break a person and ruin their whole life? How can something that she was always told about as the most beautiful and powerful thing on earth break her and be the cause of her pain. Why does it carry so much pain and tears when it´s supposed to be the reason a human lives? This doesn´t seem logical to her. It seems like all the things she was told were lies. Lies and lies told one after another. Why did they lie to me?

Rose was freezing. The dress she was wearing at the moment was obviously not able to keep her warm anymore. She needed to change. She needed to take a bath. But she had neither energy nor motivation to do anything so she kept sitting there while looking out of her huge window. Her window was wide open and let the fresh but cold wind of the spring night enter her save place. Her curtains were waving more and more due to the slowly stronger getting wind. Just when she thought that she calmed down a bit, she suddenly started to remember the words of her mother. Words that were sharper than any knife or sword. Words that cut her heart into pieces. Disgrace, she said. Disappointment, she said. She regrets giving me live, she said. And again tears fell down her cheeks. Tears filled by pure hate towards herself. She hated herself. She hated her body and wanted to die. The couple that used to shower her with love now hated her. Slowly more tears started to stream down her face while she tried to muffle down her soft sobs by putting a hand over her mouth. The cold wind that entered her chambers through her open window and door to her terrace stopped by now only to be replaced by rain. It seems like the sky was the only one that understood her pain and cried with her out of empathy. Day, weeks and now months passed and a forbidden longing accompanied her through her lonely days filled with regret. I wish I never went to the harbor with my maid. I wish I could erase that day from my life and memories.

When she thought that the pain she felt couldn´t get worse a person called her name with so much love it hurt her. She was confused and scared at the same time. With panic written all over her face she looked around her chambers only to be greeted by a tall man who entered her bedroom through her terrace. Slow steps were made as if he knew that she´d be overwhelmed by his sudden presence. She couldn´t see his face but knew that he was looking straight into her eyes. Just when he was about to enter her bedroom he stopped at the door of her terrace and allowed her to hear his voice. A voice that was able to get her weak and lose balance and fall on her knees. But luckily she was now sitting on her bed in the same position since a few hours now. “May I enter?”

A soft whine erupted her sore throat, while her heart started to race. As if she ran from one side of the island to the other. She couldn´t believe her eyes. She wanted to scream his name and jump in his arms. She wanted to kiss his face, hands and shower him with all the love she felt for him but she didn´t move but gave him a small nod that allowed him to enter. Am I imagining this?

His hat he seemed to love so much and that turned into his signature got recognized by the heartbroken princess next to his sword that accompanied him through every fight and battle. But his clothes changed into something she thought he would never wear. It changed into something elegant but at the same time simple. A black long cloak was loosely hanging over his shoulder that was decorated at its collar with a thick pitch black fur. Under the cloak she could make out a white wide loose shirt that gave away a beautiful sight of his toned and tattooed chest. He looked like a sculpture that was awakened to life. She couldn´t believe what she was seeing. She was staring at his face, his hands, his slightly wetted clothes with the hope that her eyes were playing a stupid game with her heart. She couldn´t look away while all this time he was slowly coming closer to her and the bed she was sitting on. Just when she realized who was standing in her chambers she quickly tried her best to pull herself together and speak in a half decent steady voice but sadly to no avail. “Don´t come closer and get back to the place you came from.”

She tried. She tried her best to talk in a convincing and steady voice but she failed, miserably. Her trembling voice and body betrayed her. Her hands that were holding tight onto her sheets betrayed her. Her knuckles that turned white from the pressure she put on them betrayed her. But most of all it were her eyes and tears that betrayed her. Her whole body screamed to be touched by him. Her hands longed for his warmth. Her heart screamed to be consoled and her eyes gave away all of the love she had for him. She shouldn´t be able to cry anymore thinking about the whole day she only cried but unlike a few minutes ago she was now shedding tears of pure joy. “Are you sure that you want me to leave?”, the man in front of her asked her to not only convince himself that this is what she wanted but also to give her the chance to rethink her choice, but the black haired woman nodded what she instantly regretted.

Regret. What a simple word to use when it hold so much emotions and thoughts.

The moment she saw him make a step back and put a distance between him and her, a quiet pleading to not leave her left her lips that made him instantly drop his sword. The sudden sound of his falling weapon surprised her and made her look down to the place it fell. She wanted to ask if he was doing fine when the next move of the man that ruined her life shook her to death. Everything happened in the blink of an eye. He took of his hat and threw it somewhere she couldn´t make out only to get on her bed and connect their lips. She didn´t wanted him to kiss her. She didn´t wanted him this close but still grabbed his shirt and pulled him closer. Rose´s hands were trembling while her tears still didn´t stop falling. It felt like a dream, a dream come true when she remembered her mother’s words and pushed him away from her.

Trafalgar D. Water Law.

What or who gave you the permission to enter my live and turn it upside down. The tears that were falling down her cheeks were that of pure happiness to have him in front of her but slowly with her mother´s words coming back to her mind they slowly turned into tears of pain and fear. Law wanted more. He wanted to kiss her more and hold her. He wanted her all to himself. He took her hands, that were still holding onto his shirt, in his and kissed each and every finger of her one by one. “She´ll kill you.”, she said with a quivering voice with the hope to make him understand in what kind of situation they were but he didn´t care at all. “She said she´ll execute you in front our nation.”, but still the pirate didn´t care. In fact he intertwined their hands and started to kiss her all over her face. “She called you so many names and said that she´ll kill any person you are close to right after she killed you. Law are you listening.”, she kept telling him what her mother the queen said but her lover didn´t seem to care. But to make clear that he indeed was listening to her he nodded and hummed in her ear before he made his way to her neck. But before he could place his lips on her skin again she said something what made him stop in his tracks. “I´m getting engaged in two weeks and married next month.”, just when she thought that he´ll get made and push her away she heard a soft chuckle before he laid her down and get back to kissing her while making sure to leave marks here and there. She felt pathetic. She felt horrible. She felt like agreeing to her mother’s words that she is not worth being a royal or a princess. “Law, don´t you understand in what situation I am right now? I feel like I´m a joke to y….”.

“Am I a joke to you? Are my feelings a joke to you?”, Law stopped her midsentence just to leave her with a question that made her rethink all the thoughts she had in the last weeks. But she had no time to think because the man on top of her stood up and left her bed. Panic overcame her and she started to breath quickly. “Please don´t leave me. I beg you Law. I don´t know what to do without you. Please!”

If the princess could see the man’s face at this moment she would have seen his genuine smile of pure happiness and relief. “Who said I wanted to leave you?”, said the tall man and made his way towards her door just to lock it. No matter where he went Rose followed all of his steps around her chambers. He closed the window and the door to her terrace while also making sure to close the curtains. If her maid did not came to light the candelas on her nightstand it would have been pitch black and she wouldn´t be able to see what the pirate who sneaked into the palace would do right now. He took of his shoes and placed them neatly next to the armchair in front of her chimney. Slow and carefully he took of his slightly wet cloak and put it over the backrest to dry. While she wondered if he wasn´t cold with what he was wearing she realized a bit too late that he took his shirt off and went to light up some other candelas in her room while giving her a full display of his tattoos. How on earth could someone as beautiful as him fall for me? What happened that made him love me to an extend he came all the way to the palace to me? Do I deserve this much love? Rose was looking down to her hands that lay on her lap when she felt the bed shift. She didn´t dare to look him in the eyes. She felt cheap and used. How can I marry a man that I don´t love? How can I get married while fully knowing that I gave away the most precious thing I had to a pirate that told me he loved me? I am being the naive and stupid woman my mother called me. “Do you regret losing you virginity to me?”, the sudden question of the criminal she fell in love with surprised her and made her look up to him with widen eyes. “Do you regret letting me be your first kiss? Do you regret letting me lay in your arms?”, Law took her hands back in his to intertwine them again. An act he does without realizing it by now. He was used to place her hand in is. He wanted it and needed it. He wanted to feel her and her warmth. He needed a reassurance that she really was sitting in front of him. He needed something that made clear to him that he wasn´t dreaming and really was beside her and not in his or the strawhats ship sleeping.

“Do you want to marry him? Are you fine with your parents marring you off to someone you don´t love neither know?”, the princess was overwhelmed not only by his question but also by his eyes which were filled by sadness. His grey eyes that usually had something playful and fierce in it. His eyes that used to always soften whenever the landed on her who was his lover, his woman, his absolute everything. The princess placed her hands on his face and caressed his cheeks. If only she knew what that little gesture did to him. If only she knew how much control she had over him. If only. “Trafalgar Law. I gave you everything I had. I let you be my first love and my first lover. I let you be my first kiss and my first time not for you to ask me if I regretted it. Law I love you. Although my miserable live won´t allow me to be with you I can assure you that I would throw everything away only to be with you.”, Laws eyes were closed. He couldn’t think properly anymore. His heart was racing. His mind was an absolute mess. He wanted her close to him. He wanted to feel her. He needed her so he sat her down on his lap and leaned back. With his head resting on the headboard of her bed and the royal lady on top of him he tried to calm his heart down and make it stop racing. “If I wouldn´t be a doctor I would have thought I was about to die whenever I had you near me.”, the young princess looked at him with concern in her eyes. “At that time I couldn´t understand why my heart was racing or why I felt like I was getting crushed. There was always this feeling of something or someone putting a huge amount of pressure on my chest whenever I thought about you. And whenever I had you close to me I felt like I was drowning and losing all my powers. But now I know that it´s alright to feel like this because this is how it´s supposed to be. Because today I know that it´s because I love you.”, Law was not someone that spoke out loud about his feelings. He wasn´t the type of person who shared his thoughts but when he did he was able to blow any person away. The words of her lover made her heart race while guilt over came her. “Stop. Please stop.”, begged Rose while hiding her face in the crock of his neck. She knew that she was hurting him by telling him to stop. She knew that she wasn´t supposed to react like this but what could she do, she was promised to a prince of a neighbor island. She shouldn´t be kissing him or hugging him. She shouldn´t be laying in his arms while he told her how much she meant to him. She should be sending him away like a worthy daughter and princess should do.

“Do you want me to leave. If so than just tell me and I will leave you alone tonight. I really don´t have a problem with that. I can´t bear seeing you sad, my love. I will come tomorrow. Would you like that?”, hearing his words made her look up and see his face to make sure he wasn´t playing with her but no, he was serious. He was smiling down to her while caressing her cheek. The look he gave her broke her heart. She knew he loved her. No matter how many times she told herself that she meant nothing to him her heart told her different. “This is not how it works, Law! You are such a fool. You idiot! I just told you that I´m promised to a prince and here you are telling me that you will come tomorrow if I don´t feel well. What is wrong with you?”, tears were falling down her cheeks. Thinking about the amount of tears she just shed today makes one wonder how she is still possible to cry more. Rose hit him a few times on his chest before she left his lap and sat down next to him. She couldn´t bear being this close to him so she tried putting some distance between him and her when Law laid her down and hovered above her.

“Tell me what is wrong with you? Do you really think I let your parents take you away from me? Do you really think I let some random bastard marry my woman? I am a pirate Rose. If I want something I get it and when I have it I won´t give it back. Do you understand?”, Law spoke in a soft tone but one full of power and determination. Rose didn´t know what to say so she simply kept quiet and kept listening to him. “You are mine. My treasure. My property, You are mine all alone and I don´t share what is mine. And if anyone is so foolish to try to take what is mine I won´t hesitate to cut off their heart.”, the dreaded pirate spoke in his calm but deep voice and made the woman underneath him stare at him without daring to move an inch. “Now tell me do you really thing I let you get married to anyone that is not me?”, Rose was numb. She was awestruck and speechless so Law took the matter in his own hands and took her face in his hands and shook her head in a playful manner. He knew that his words took her by surprise what could he do? It was her guilt that he was head over heel in love with her. “No, my darling. I won´t let go of you. Just wait a few more days and wait for me. I have a little plan to get you out of her.”, the last words the pirate spoke made her widen her eyes. Law indeed loved the effect he had on her. The princess wanted to say something but the pirate didn´t allow her to speak up. He placed a short kiss on her lips before he slowly started to unbutten her dress. “Law?!”

“You can´t imagine how much I missed you. Please allow me to show you how much you mean to me, my dear. Hold me and show me that your presence is not a dream. Please allow me to love you.”

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tippenfunkaport · 4 years

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My Top Ten Favorite Glimbow Week Fics (Not Written by Me)

It's been a month since Glimbow Week @glimbow-week-2020 and I have read every single fic for both the countdown and week itself so you don't have to! (I'm kidding, you still do have to! Go appreciate everyone's hard work!) All of the Glimbow Week fics are listed here, BTW, if you too would like to read them all!

But there are a lot of new fics and it's kind of overwhelming so I thought it might be nice to do a Top Ten of my favorite fics to give you a place to start.

And now, in no particular order...

My Top Ten Favorite Glimbow Week Fics (Not Written by Me)

(Because, uh, a lot of them were written by me.)

Come with me by caramelaire

I am obsessed with this one. OBSESSED. This is how Cara and I became friends because I read this and was just like, "Cara, Horde Bow." and she was like "Yup." and then I'd dm her again the next day like, "Horde Bowwwwwwww." He lives in my head rent free. It's just such a cool take on Bow and Glimmer's dynamic and I think about it constantly and I hope we get more someday!

two slow dancers by glimbows

This is one of my favorite Season 4 Missing Scene fics, set at Glimmer's coronation. Aunt Casta and Bow's dads are trying to play matchmaker, Sea Hawk has a near death experience, Glimmer is sad and then there is mutual pining goodness. Love this one!

Glimmerella by brightmoonprincess

This one is cute and silly but has a lot of laugh out loud moments and I find myself thinking of it randomly even though I read it ages ago which is always the sign of something good!

Sick of Losing Soulmates by caramelaire

When the list of prompts came out I said I did not vibe with Soulmates and would skip that one for sure because it was not my thing. Then this fic came along where Adora and Catra make their friends Bow and Glimmer participate in an experiment where they have to kiss a stranger and they realize they are soulmates and I loved it!

Re-Princess Prom by StarcastNight

I loved the concept behind this one which is that there was Princess Prom do-over sometime during Season 4 and Glimmer went with a badass punk princess who seemed like her type and Bow had some FEELINGS about THAT which always makes for quality pining content

ghost of you by caramelaire

This one is angsty and painful but in a good way (though TW: for thoughts of suicide) and is Glimmer just having an absolute breakdown after Adora and Bow leave for Beast Island during Season 4

In Our Bedroom After the War by Betterzoid

This is a really sweet post war fic that actually functions as a sequel to the one listed above it (there's also really nice art for it) of Glimmer and Bow coming back after the fall of Horde Prime and dealing with the past and future.

perhaps we were friends first by unbelievably62

This is a catch all collection for all of unbelievably62's Glimbow Week fics and I really liked two of them especially, Princess Prom (A future Princess Prom and Glimmer is being jealous again... but this time in a sexy way?) and Family Reactions (Aunt Casta is the OG Glimbow shipper and is awkward about it).

Invisible Wall by EleenaDume

This is a sweet but sad missing scene fic set after Boys Night Out where Glimmer and Bow's relationship is a mess.

Glimbowweek Fall 2020 by HaroThar

This is also a catch-all of all of HaroThar's fics and I particularly loved the Horde Glimmer one because it had the new (to me anyway) twist of the Horde having landed in Bright Moon from the start instead of Scorpia's kingdom and I like the ways that changes the dynamic between the characters and also the Fright Zone itself.

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I’m not sure of everyone’s Tumblr handles but the ones I know for sure are @caramelaire @gllimbow @brightmoonprincess @i-just-love-spop @haro-ra @notlighthope @klingonne

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So the part that stinks about doing a top ten list is that there are SO MANY amazing writers that participated in this week and I know I didn't list everyone so I have to offer the following disclaimer that this is just one Tippen's opinion from the running list I kept of my favorites as I was reading through the collection. In general, we share a lot of posts on this website about how we should be giving fic writers more exposure and reblogs but I think one of the absolute best things you can do for a fic writer you enjoy is just recommend their stuff on your own blogs and social media sites and so that's why I wanted to make sure I highlighted my favorites from this collection.

There was also a TON of really great art but I can't think of how to showcase that so you'll just have to go check it out on the Glimbow Week page.

A big thank you again to everyone who participated! I got so spoiled in September with all the new Glimbow content and now I miss it!

#glimbow #glimmer #bow #spop #spop fic #shera fic #she-ra fic #spop fanfiction #shera fanfiction #she-ra fanfiction #shera #she-ra #she ra #spop fanfic #glow

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wistfulcynic · 3 years

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What was your favorite part of Moonlight and what were you thinking when you wrote this, my favorite part?

Henry Jones wasn’t quite the same person as Henry Mills or even Henry Swan. Henry Mills was a wide-eyed boy, clinging to hope and belief as his only weapons against the dark curse that surrounded him, Henry Swan was a normal New Yorker. Henry Jones, though, he was a pirate’s son, raised to the cusp of adulthood by a clever and dangerous man, taught by him the knack of survival and perseverance when all the power and all the odds were arrayed against him. Henry Jones was a risk taker with no patience for bullshit who would do whatever was necessary to save the people he loved, just like his dad. Henry Jones could infiltrate this school and this town and gather the intel they needed to break the curse. He grinned to himself. Henry Jones looked forward to the challenge.

Oh, this is a fantastic question and also very difficult because I love so much about Their Way By Moonlight. It was a labour of love from beginning to end.

One of my favourite elements of it is Killian in the Land Without Magic. I just love the idea of him learning to adapt to it and finding some things he completely loves and others he finds ridiculous. I definitely am one of those who believes that he would catch on pretty quickly to most things--he’s smart and adaptable and he would read the instruction manuals. But I also think there are some things he would have no use for or see the point of.

I also loved writing canon CS in a functional, committed relationship that didn’t include any of the elements of S5 or S6. In Moonlight they love each other deeply and support each other completely but they also argue and butt heads because they have different outlooks and strategies. I loved writing Emma insisting on going charging into Storybrooke when they discover the new curse, and Killian telling her she’s being rash and hasty but knowing he can’t stop her. So instead he just insists that she be as prepared as possible before she goes, and gives her the key that ends up breaking the memory curse on her. Then after that she actually starts listening to him and following his strategies, because she’s learned that he is usually right about some things and her gut instincts aren’t always the best guides for action. While he continues with his absolute faith in her and her abilities that gives her the confidence she needs. They are genuine partners who learn from each other and work together and trust the other absolutely and I just love that so much.

The final thing I love is the backstory with Killian and Oisín and Neverland. I love their complicated relationship and how it balances respect and genuine affection with an almost complete lack of trust and a 100% necessary betrayal that hurts them both but that they can ultimately move past. I love how Oisín is honourable in his own way but also kind of a dick, and I love the idea of Neverland being a more complex and interesting place than what we saw in the show, because I honestly cannot get behind the idea that Killian spent 300 years sailing in circles around the same small island, occasionally coming ashore to stomp angstily through jungle and lose crewmen in the Echo Caves. So I gave him other things to do, and other potential allies besides Pan.

As for the bit you quoted, it comes from something I’ve believed since I read it first in Anne of Green Gables--that names are incredibly important. Anne insisted on having her name spelled with an -e because she couldn’t make herself feel like an “Ann”. As someone with a common name, I related to that *hard*-- so much that I changed the spelling of my name when I was 16. It used to be Sarah, but Saira was who I discovered that I preferred to be, and she’s a very different person to who Sarah was. So when I was writing Henry and thinking about his various surnames it just seemed right that he would have a different image of himself with each one. And also I wanted to show the influence Killian had on him, how he had really become a true father figure to Henry--because the Captain Cobra was of course a huge element of this fic, and to properly do it justice it couldn’t be just from Killian’s side. Killian and Henry were left alone with only each other when they barely had a relationship but they forged one together, and grew to love each other because they chose to. The main reason for that was because Killian saw Henry as a person and not just as a kid, and treated him with respect while also setting the boundaries that kids need--not because he had any clue what kids need but because that’s how he ran his ship and handled his crew. He treated Henry as a crewmate without presuming anything about what their stepfather/stepson relationship should be, and as a result Henry came to respect him to the point where he wanted to emulate him and really took to heart the things Killian had to teach him. And that’s what we see demonstrated in his ideas about himself and his identity with Killian’s surname.

SORRY FOR THE WALL OF TEXT. If you don't want WALLS OF TEXT don't ask me about Moonlight!!

(though if for some reason you enjoy WALLS OF TEXT then by all means, bring on the Moonlight questions!!)

fanfic writer Friday, chaps! Come and ask me anything!

#fanfic friday #asked and answered #kmomof4 #profdanglaisstuff

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obxfix · 4 years

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Risk It All - Chapters 1 & 2

JJ x Kiara

Description: suspense and fluff | Kie and JJ decide to sell cocaine on the island so that they can save up enough money to leave together.

Content Warnings: drugs, violence, swearing, kissing and romantic touches

A/N: Hi everyone! I want to start by saying that I feel so inspired by this fandom and the incredible writers who have made fics dedicated to it. Reading the fics others have written make me so happy, and it motivated me to start writing creatively again. So I ship Pope x JJ more than Kie x JJ, but I wanted to explore Kie and JJ’s dynamic a little more. I also think they work well together in a story like this, where Kiara is very level-headed, and JJ is his emotional self. I also just absolutely love Kiara with my whole heart. Anyway, I’m excited to write some other types of fic, such as pure fluff or smut, and I really want to get Sarah in the mix because I love her so much. I’m also open to self-insert fics. I love this fandom and writing in the voice of these characters :) Let me know your thoughts and if you have any requests!

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Chapter 1 – The Start of the End

“What’s the scoop?” Kiara whispered as she walked with JJ through the field.

“We have some more product to distribute,” he said at a normal volume.

“Shh!” Kie gave him a look to shut him up.

“Oh right, sorry. Incognito…” JJ chuckled lightly, lowering his voice.

“This is serious stuff,” Kie reminded him, unable to contain her laughter at his tomfoolery.

He smiled. “Yeah, yeah. Anyway, I got more.”

“You got it? From who?”

“A supplier up north. 35 grams. 4 weeks.”

“JJ are you fucking kidding me? That’s more than twice as much as last time,” Kie said, excited yet concerned. “How are we going to move that much in 4 weeks?”

JJ grinned, confident. “The plan is in the works. We got this, Kie. We’re set.”

She shook her head, dazed and slightly overwhelmed. “This is crazy! This is…we’re gonna be able to get out of here, JJ. I can barely wrap my head around that.”

JJ picked her up, spinning her around. Kiara beamed, nuzzling into his chest and feeling the contagion of his excitement. “Let’s send this shit,” JJ declared.

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Chapter 2 – Pleasure Doing Business With You

It was the ideal cocaine-selling season. The Outer Banks were crawling with tourists and randoms looking for a fun time. Kie and JJ moved product at every party and function they could possibly find. The next four weeks would be all business. Well, maybe a little pleasure.

After three weeks of hard work, Kie and JJ found themselves at a party on Figure 8, the last place they thought they’d be. They were running out of buyers as tourist season started to slow down, and the kooks were a last resort. Lucky for JJ and Kiara, where you lived on the island didn’t seem to have an impact on whether or not you were into cocaine. The kooks were just as desperate for it as anyone else.

______________________________________________________________

The boneyard was empty except for JJ, who was standing on the dock. The party was over, and everyone had vacated the beach. Kiara had headed to a late-night adventure with one of the new girls on the island. She had been looking forward to it all week. Thinking about how excited she was made JJ happy. Losing Sarah and John B, as well as drifting apart from Pope, had been so hard on Kie. Despite the hardships, Kie had found a friend who reminded her of Sarah, someone who made her heart feel full. JJ smiled to himself as he took a hit of his joint and stared out into the water. The darkness made it look like an obsidian abyss he could just slip into.

“So you think you can sell to kooks now?” said a familiar voice.

JJ turned around to see Rafe Cameron standing on the empty dock a few feet away. He looked unstable, on edge.

“I don’t know what you’re on about, man,” JJ said, relaxed. He gazed back out at the water.

Rafe took a few steps closer to gain JJ’s attention. “Cut the shit, pogue. I know what you get up to.”

JJ let out a breathy laugh, taking another drag of his spliff. “Sure, okay.”

“You’re disrupting my territory. Barry isn’t gonna be happy when he finds out who’s been stealing his customers.”

JJ stared at Rafe with utter disdain. “Don’t waste your breath.”

“You’re in over your head,” Rafe asserted. He was trembling, not from fear but from the cocaine spiraling through his system.

He took another hit of his joint and let out a low laugh. “Fuck you, bro. You don’t know shit.”

Rafe kept talking, becoming agitated by JJ’s calm demeanor. He shifted, unable to stay still. “I know you won’t last.”

JJ chuckled without an ounce of humor, adjusting his hat. “Is that right?”

“I’ll kill you.”

“That’s cute, Rafe.”

“I mean it. I’ll kill you and I’ll come for her too.”

JJ was serious now. His jaw clenched and his breath hitched. He looked into Rafe’s eyes menacingly, violently. JJ grabbed him by the collar and held his body over the dock’s edge. He spoke slowly and through gritted teeth. “If you…so much as go near her, I will make you suffer. She could kick your sorry ass no problem, but I will not allow you to put her in that position in the first place. You got it?”

Rafe shoved JJ off and took a step toward him. He smiled a crooked smile, punching JJ in the stomach. JJ crumpled to the ground, blood spouting from his mouth. As he tried to get up, Rafe stepped on his throat and held him there. “I guess we’ll see if it comes to that.”

______________________________________________________________

Chapter 3

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pynkhues · 4 years

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fortheloveoftagalog replied to your post “I just read the new TV Insider interview with Bans and Krebs and I...”

@pynkhues thanks for this post...what strikes me and I think a big part of the Fandom is the work taken to redeem Dean when we still have very little POV for Rio. Its sad that the fans have to be using snippets of Brio to try to understand the underlying meaning of the actions when there are so many creative things the writers could do...you guys do it all the time in your writing and these are professionals. While their aim may not be to do what the fans want the success of the show rests with fans. I know as a shipper from a previous show that got canceled because of poor writing and development. This season was very poorly done and I believe Bans and Kerbs( i may have gotten his name wrong) will need to go back to the drawing board. The whole issue of marketing Brio is also terribly deceptive on their part because I do believe the plan was to make fans side with Beth and the girls with trying to kill Rio because he ordered the hit on Lucy not realizing that him doing this inspite of her innocence was the best thing to do for the business that ultimately involves the girls we are all cheering for. Fans love Rio because of how Manny plays him which is not one dimensional...he plays him like how thugs really are...human just probably mostly bad but capable of good and love and in his case respect and a code. Why redeem Dean and not give Rio a POV?

You’re welcome, and thanks for commenting! :-)

SO. There are a few things to unpack in your reply.

I’ll start with the simplest - the writers don’t have any say in the marketing of the show. It is frustrating that the promos feature Brio so heavily when the story itself doesn’t, but that’s an NBC thing, and it’s based on what the network knows picks up traction, not a Good Girls creative team thing. So you can’t blame them for the way the show is promoted (hell, never forget that the NBC marketing team called Annie Amy in a press release! I will never not be furious at the disrespect, haha). If there’s anyone to blame for Brio-focused promos, it’s all of us, for being so obsessed, haha.

I also strongly disagree that this season was very poorly done. It’s cool if you didn’t like it, and there are definitely things I didn’t like about it too, and places I felt the scripts needed further development, and sure, places where I personally would’ve made different creative decisions, but on the whole, I actually found the overall writing strong, the angle compelling (albeit sometimes frustrating), and most of the payoffs pretty satisfying.

I also....hmmm. I don’t really know how to articulate this, haha. But look, as somebody who writes professionally and works for a successful, internationally-touring theatre company? I can guarantee you whose side the audience is on is very rarely at the forefront of any writer’s’ mind.

Stories aren’t about sides or teams.

They’re stories.

And stories are usually designed to pose questions, to explore moral lapses, to better understand psyches. Stories – in my experience – like to splay people out and dissect them, not champion them or cheerlead.

This show has never been a superficial, ra-ra-sisterhood story that tells us Beth, Annie and Ruby are perfect gals just doing what they have to. In fact, it’s the opposite. It’s positioned them, since the very first episode, as three deeply flawed women who are broken by their respective circumstances who want to survive and thrive for their children. We’re not supposed to agree with all their choices, but we should understand them (and the spaces where we don’t are reflective of the flaw in the writing, not the character making the choice in the first place).

As for Rio, yeah. I get it. I agree in a lot of ways. I do think Rio’s role should’ve been fleshed out more in s3 (not heaps or anything, but a bit, yes), and I think the show teased opportunities for it – particularly through Turner and Rhea, and then pivoted away at the last minute whether through cold feet or narrative confusion or thematic frustration or wanting to keep the mystery alive, I’m not sure! But the last minute dip-out definitely happened!

I do actually understand the hesitation of pulling attention too far away from the girls though. The thing is, Rio has functioned as a narrative island which I talked a lot about in this post, and the reality is that building out his world would require a drastic narrative expansion, a deep financial investment in terms of the production itself (something we can get away with in fic because, y’know, we’re creating for free), and a pull away from the story that the show is trying to tell.

I know, I know, we’ve seen storyworld expansions with both Dean and Stan this season, but both those expansions fed directly back into the girls’ stories – from Stan and Ruby’s push-pull to the heist, to Dean almost (definitely) cheating and Beth buying Four Star Pools and Spas, but I mean...

Haven’t we seen storyworld expansion with Rio this season too? It might not have been what everyone wanted, but we got to know his bar really well, got to meet his ex, got to know his boy better, and his tastes and habits a little more.

That’s actually pretty massive for a show that introduces minimal details about it’s main characters (I mean - - I dare you - - try to tell me five three things each about Beth and Annie, and Ruby’s respective parents).This show thrives as a plot and pace driven show, not a character study, and the result is we don’t know as much as we want about the characters unfortunately. Which is a bit of a shame! Because man! This show has some wonderful characters.

#fortheloveoftagalog #beth boland #rio #gg season 3

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finnofamerica · 4 years

Note

Cool asks for fic writers: 10 & 19

So Caroline, Ily. Like I think it goes without saying at this point. Also, this is a lot more serious discussion than initially anticipated.

Trigger Warning: Mentions of Abuse, PTSD, Suicide, Anxiety, and Depression.

10) What inspires you the most?

What inspires me the most in my writing is probably my own personal life, with everything of mine that you read (if you’re the right person) you can see little elements of my own life sprinkled amongst the fantastical.

In my Kong: Skull Island series there is a lot in there that deals with anxiety and PTSD, not because I have PTSD, but there are people in my life (or formally in my life) that have dealt with PTSD. I wanted to write something that is entertaining to read but also carefully handles the topic and makes sure that the reader can understand what PTSD is. I wrote in the panic attacks because I suffer from high functioning anxiety and if I don’t handle something the right way, it can cause panic attacks. I mean my friend walks me to my car every night because of this.

In Awful Heart the big sweater thing is in there because the big sweater is a real thing in my life, and I wear it for the same reasons it is worn in that series. Also, she’s an engineer and a musician because I’m an engineer and musician and you really write best the things that you know.

A lot of my works allude to mental/emotional abuse because I’ve suffered a lot of mental/emotional abuse from my parents (and my former best friend) which is another reason why a lot of my readers have bad relationships with their parents. Just take Crawl, my most recent fic, for example. The reader says “I know all too well what it’s like not to belong anywhere.” That’s because since I was fourteen I bounced from home to hope, pretty much always having a bag packed because who knows when I’d be leaving for the next place. Not to mention that the only place that ever truly felt like home to me was the boarding school that I attended for high school - where I had damn near zero contact with any of my family.

Basically what I’m saying is that there is a lot of my personal life in each work if you know where to look.

19) Why did you start writing?

I started writing at 12 or 13 years old because I was depressed and alienated and I needed a form of release. I was dealing with moving to a new place for the first time, my brothers bullied me constantly as well as being bullied in school, and I never had many friends. To this day I still have very few in-person friends. Fanfiction, for me, was a form of self-love in a way as well as being a therapist certified coping mechanism for all of the things that I’d been dealing with at that age.

I write now because I enjoy it, and I’m good at it. I’m using it now to be somewhat educational about mental illnesses and abuse. And I’m going to use this moment to remind everyone that DESPITE ABUSE AND MENTAL ILLNESSES YOU ARE WORTHY OF BEING LOVED AND CARED FOR.

Here is a list of a variety of hotlines and well as a list of crisis hotlines

#Finn talks #personal #trigger warning #depression #suicide #Sweet Caroline #finn's friends

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fulcrumahsokaamidala · 4 years

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Saturday Spectacular #19

Happy Saturday!!! So this is me thanking awesome fanfic writers for their amazing work and all the time they put into their fics. ♥️ I want to recommend spectacular fanfic stories I read this week! ♥️ All posts will be tagged #saturday spectacular fic rec

Hello friends, it’s been a while since I’ve done one of these. It’s been a crazy few months. This semester I started college and am getting an associate's degree in one year that means I’m taking 23 credits this fall term. It’s been a bit crazy but I’ve still been read fic so this what I’ve read since September 21. It’s not going to be in order.

light upon darkened dreams by @alexiablackbriar13 | Arrow | One-shot

Summary: After the events of 8x04, Oliver remains awake long into the night, getting lost in his thoughts about his children and Felicity. It's a good thing he isn't asleep, because he catches Mia suffering from a horrific nightmare. How can a father comfort his daughter from the future from a bad dream when they're still practical strangers to each other?

Artemis by @laxit21 | Arrow | WIP

Summary: When the Queen’s Gambit sank, two people were stranded on Lian Yu. Five years later, four came back.

Daughter of the Demon by @laxit21 | Arrow | WIP

Summary: What if in 1988 while traveling through Las Vegas Ra’s al Ghul bumps into a nice waitress named Donna Smoak and they have one-night stand together? A little bundle of joy named Felicity Smoak is the result. In 2014, the Demon Head becomes aware of his youngest daughter’s existence.

The Ravager by @laxit21 | Arrow | WIP

Summary: Slade Wilson’s plan for revenge against Oliver took time, money and no shortage of lives to pull together. His plan didn’t anticipate Felicity Smoak. How will his plan change now that his lost-lost daughter is working with the very man he’s trying to destroy?

Felicity of Themiscyra by @laxit21 | Arrow | WIP

Summary: Years ago, Donna Smoak left the island of Themiscyra and her sister Queen Hippolyta behind to live in man’s world. She never told Felicity the truth about where she came from. As a result of the Undertaking, Felicity discovers some of her Amazonian abilities and makes an interesting new friend: Diana Prince.

The Daughter That Was Left by @laxit21 | Arrow | WIP

Summary: Before the Gambit, Oliver Queen met QC intern Felicity Smoak. When he boarded the Gambit, he left something behind. Now, five long years later someone is waiting for him.

I Scream But No Sound Comes out by @laxit21 | Arrow | WIP

Summary: When Oliver returns from Lian Yu after five years, he comes back different. What happened there damaged more than just his body. How will his friends and family deal with this new Oliver?

The Point of No Return by @oneofthosecrazygirls-fics | Arrow | Completed

Summary Oliver and Felicity prepare for their first date. This fic is part of the What Should’ve Been ‘verse, but can be read as a stand-alone fic.

Can’t Help Falling in Love by @smoaking-greenarrow | Arrow | WIP

Summary: Collection of fluff fics based on Tumblr prompts! Some are angsty, but most of this is fluffy. Enjoy!

Let the Light Shine Through by @griever11 | Arrow | One-shot

Summary: Your heart starts healing and it’s a slow process. After all, it’s been in shambles; sharp, cruel pieces of rubble lying on the bottom of your rib cage for so long. Wounds heal, as they say. They’ll scar, and they hurt, but they heal.

Baby Daddy by more0rLessJess | Arrow | WIP

Summary: Bartender Oliver Queen was living his twenties to the fullest, he lived with his best friend John Diggle, and his brother in everything but blood, Tommy Merlyn just moved into their apartment as he started his professional baseball career for the Starling City Rockets. On top of that, his childhood best friend Felicity Smoak, who was no longer goth and instead blonde and beautiful, was back in town and they were hanging out again. Oliver thought his days were going to be filled with partying, one night stands, and boys weekends while also spending quality time with the girl everyone kept telling him he was in love with. Until his ex girlfriend dropped a baby on his doorstep who turned out to be his son. After a lot of thought and Felicity Smoak peptalks, Oliver decides to keep and raise his son with the help of his friends. Or the Freeform sitcom Baby Daddy AU that no one asked for but I needed to write. Aka Oliver and Felicity are childhood friends and are hopelessly in love with eachother and everyone knows but them, oh and now they're raising a baby. What could go wrong?

call me my love, day or night by @alexiablackbriar13 | Arrow | One-shot

Summary: As Mia and William are enjoying their Monte Cristos, Oliver receives a phone call from somebody who is not Curtis. Somebody who is far, far more important.

and you'll blow us all away by inlovewithimpossibility | Arrow | One-shot

Summary: Oliver desperately tries to connect with his daughter but it seems all he needed was a photograph and the memory of a woman both of them love more than anything. [Post-8x04 Oliver & Mia moment]

Fight To Live by CSM | Arrow | One-shot

Summary: Post 803. Oliver's conversation with adult William and Mia does not go as planned and there is only one person that can help him. Takes places directly after the episode.

New York's Finest (Supernatural) Detectives by BillCipherpines | Brooklyn Nine-Nine & Shadowhunters | Completed

Summary: Jake Peralta is 100%, without a doubt, definitely sure that his friend Simon Lewis is a vampire. But when he sets out to prove it to his friends they get sucked into the world of Shadowhunters and realize that petty drug dealers are the least of New York's problems. But not to worry, New York's finest Shadowhunters are on the case

The Unlikeliest Places by @griever11 | Arrow | Completed

Summary: 'It all starts on an unassuming Friday evening. Or rather, if she’s being honest with herself, everything else in her life ends on that Friday.'

An AU meeting fic where Felicity Smoak accidentally-on-purpose stumbles upon some shady activity as an IT tech for Queen Consolidated and realises that she really isn't being paid enough for any of this.

In Another Life (I could be your man) by angelicmisskitty | Arrow | WIP

Summary: Their lives couldn't be more different - and yet Oliver can't take his eyes off the beautiful blonde woman that leaves the subway every morning at 7.43am. There is something about her that makes him look up every morning - something that also makes him aware he'll never be good enough for her, or that she'd even notice him.

He had no idea how much his life would change the day he rushed over to help her...

Olicity AU - no Lian Yu, no saving the city (at least not in the way we know from Arrow :D )

Here At Last by thecomebackkids99 | Arrow | One-shot

Summary: A 8x04 spec fic of what happens right after Mia, William, and Connor are transported to the bunker.

Against All Odds by CSM | Arrow | Completed

Summary: Post 3x14. Time Travel. Going back in time. Changing the future is not an exact science but he knows if anyone can do it, it’s her. If there is one thing Eleanor Queen can do, is be a hero. After all she has heroes’ blood pumping through her veins.

Lucas' Adventures by CSM | Arrow | WIP

Summary: Post 2x07. One late night in the foundry Oliver finds an abandoned baby, who he later finds out is his biological son, the only thing is the baby seems to think Felicity is his mother, which is impossible. Or is it? aka, Mia Smoak gets tired of her baby brother and sends him to 2013 where their unsuspecting parents find him. Companion piece to Impeccable Genetics.My contribution for the Olicity Summer Sizzle

“Time for a story” Drabble Series by @smkkbert | Arrow | WIP

Summary: This fic shows Olicity and their life as a (married) couple with family. Although Olicity (and their kids) are the protagonists, other characters of Arrow and Flash make appearances. It started as a drabble series, but developed more and more into a full domectic AU. Although some chapters are still drabble-like, there are longer storylines by now.

With You by @griever11 | Arrow | One-shot

Summary: Post 8x03 Leap of Faith. Oliver, William and Mia have a lot of feelings and in classic Queen fashion, have somewhat of a hard time expressing them. Oliver learns about the future and his kids try to make sense of the past.

in the here and now by @alexiablackbriar13 | Arrow | One-shot

Summary: Set immediately post-8x03. “Dad?” Oliver stares in utter disbelief at the trio who have appeared on the bunker platform along with him in a blinding flash of light. For a good couple of seconds, his brain just… stops functioning. He’s so astonished that he can’t think, he can’t breathe, he can’t feel anything but shock.

The Blame Game by inlovewithimpossibility | Arrow | One-shot

Summary: After they recover from their sudden appearance in the past, what's left of FTA still need to deal with what happened before they left. Mia and Connor both seek a moment of peace and Mia's brother and father are the guiding hand she needs as she feels like she's drowning.

There Are Two Sides to Every Story by @oneofthosecrazygirls-fics | Arrow | WIP

Summary: Susan Williams and Bethany Snow are two of Starling City’s most prominent journalists...but their styles are very different.This is a series of articles written by these two journalists from the time of the sinking of the Queen’s Gambit to the present day.**set in the What Should’ve Been ‘verse**

Campfire Stories by @realityisoverrated-fic | Arrow | One-shot

Summary: Samantha has finally agreed to allow William to spend a month of his summer vacation with Oliver, Tommy, and Felicity. William asks to spend his first weekend with Oliver camping - alone. Oliver is more than a little nervous to spend time alone with his son when he still feels like a stranger.

The First Time by @realityisoverrated-fic | Arrow | One-shot

Summary: Every love story has a beginning, theirs started with a death.

Home Is Where You Are by @realityisoverrated-fic | Arrow | One-shot

Summary: Felicity is away on business and missing home. Tommy surprises her with an unexpected visit.

The Italian Restaurant by @realityisoverrated-fic | Arrow | One-shot

Summary: Felicity, Oliver and Tommy go on their first date which leads to other firsts.

Cobble Hill by @realityisoverrated-fic | Arrow | One-shot

Summary: Tommy surprises Oliver and Felicity with a proposal that will mark a milestone in their relationship.

Up All Night by @realityisoverrated-fic | Arrow | One-shot

Summary: After a close call in the field, Oliver and Felicity reconnect.

Will You Still Love Me, Tomorrow? by @realityisoverrated-fic | Arrow | One-shot

Summary: Donna arrives for an unexpected visit and Felicity must decide if she is going to reveal the truth about her relationship with Oliver and Tommy.

Wherever You Are, There I Am by @realityisoverrated-fic | Arrow | One-shot

Summary: The history of Oliver Queen and Tommy Merlyn's relationship.

Burgers & Lies by @realityisoverrated-fic | Arrow | One-shot

Summary: Tommy confronts Felicity about a secret she has been keeping.

Welcome Home by @realityisoverrated-fic | Arrow | One-shot

Summary: Felicity has been away for two weeks and missing her guys. Oliver and Tommy are very happy when she returns from her trip early.

Twenty Questions Over Brunch by @realityisoverrated-fic | Arrow | One-shot

Summary: Thea has a few questions for Felicity about her relationship with Oliver and Tommy.

Look Me In The Eye And Make Me Feel The Truth by @realityisoverrated-fic | Arrow | One-shot

Summary: A night out in the public eye might be more than their relationship can take.

Three by @realityisoverrated-fic | Arrow | One-shot

Summary: Felicity hasn't been acting herself all week. Tommy and Oliver finally confront her and they aren't prepared for what she tells them.

Practical Jokes and Other Misunderstandings by @realityisoverrated-fic | Arrow | One-shot

Summary: Oliver and Tommy tell Thea about their relationship.

House Warming by @realityisoverrated-fic | Arrow | One-shot

Summary: Oliver, Felicity and Tommy celebrate their first night together in their new home.

Perfect by @realityisoverrated-fic | Arrow | One-shot

Summary: Felicity receives a call in the middle of the night from a distraught Tommy.

Nine to Five by @griever11 | Arrow | Completed

Summary: The new receptionist at Oliver's office is weird, quirky and really cute but totally not his type. At all. Or so he tells himself. An Arrow/The Office AU.

keep this love in a photograph by @alexiablackbriar13 | Arrow | One-shot

Summary: An alternate 8x01 scene.Moira suspects that there is more to her son than meets the eye when Oliver returns home from the island after twelve years.When she catches him with the photo he's carrying around of him with Felicity Smoak and a baby, a confrontation and an emotional conversation ensue.

Mothers know best by @smkkbert | Arrow | Completed

Summary: Since they have been kids, they have been best friends. Since they have been friends, their mothers wanted them to be together.After coming back from the east coast, Felicity takes over a position at Queen Consolidated, the company her best friend will soon take over from his father. Their mothers still push for them to be together, and they seem closer to that goal than ever because wedding bells are ringing. The only problem is that they both plan to get married to someone else.

The Legacy of a Queen by inlovewithimpossibility | Arrow | WIP

Summary: Series of one-shots from a future AU where Oliver and Felicity are able to raise their children after they defeat the Ninth Circle and Oliver hangs up the hood

A Brother in Arms by inlovewithimpossibility | Arrow | WIP

Summary: “I just… she really found me and sent you here?” He asks quietly and John’s face morphs from concern into a sad smile as he nods.“Oliver, you know she’d be here herself if it weren’t for Mia.”“I… it’s been a week. She said she’d find me but I didn’t expect…” Missing moment from 8x01 where John and Oliver discuss Felicity finding Oliver and sending John to Earth-2 to help his brother.

Providence by @so-caffeinated | Arrow | WIP

Summary: Will Queen has struggled in silence in the year since he was shot. But when a shadowy crime lord known as Domino targets the only woman Will’s ever truly loved, fate forces him to confront his demons in ways he never could have imagined… Whether he wants to or not. Amelia Prescott has fought to take control of her life since learning two years ago that her personal and professional worlds were manipulated by others. But nothing can prepare her for just how hard she’ll have to fight to set her own course, especially when her heart belongs to a damaged man and a crime lord threatens her every professional move… And her life. Destiny brings them together, but as chaos reigns and personal demons haunt Will and Amelia both, it may also threaten to tear them apart.

What Are You Doing Here, Miss Queen? by inlovewithimpossibility | Arrow | WIP

Summary Sara Lance prides herself on knowing people, she gets them in a way a lot of others struggle with. So when a mysterious blonde shows up to help with the fight of their lives, Sara is surprised when there's something about her that she just can't put her finger on. That is until she figures out that this supposed 'Green Arrow from another earth' is actually Oliver's time-displaced daughter. [Sara sees straight through Mia's Crisis disguise, confronts her about what she's doing in the past, and forces father and daughter into a conversation that is clear they needed to have]

the true meaning of sacrifice by inlovewithimpossibility | Arrow | One-shot

Summary: Around five years after Crisis, Felicity is surprised and angry when a group of three heroes show up at her door demanding help from her.

i will find you again by inlovewithimpossibility | Arrow | One-shot

Summary: a short-introspective on oliver in s8 inspired by the scene in the trailer as he takes a moment to remember the reason he's fighting. his wife, his children... they give him the strength he needs to be the hero the universe requires

Paging Dr. Smoak by @laxit21 | Arrow | WIP

Summary: When Oliver Queen gets into a car accident, he meets Dr. Felicity Smoak. He had no idea how much a chance meeting would change his life.

little wonders (twists and turns of fate) by @alexiablackbriar13 | Arrow | Completed Summary: Oliver and Felicity's drunken mistake of a hook-up in the bunker comes with unexpected consequences in the form of a... souvenir.Deciding to remain romantically uninvolved, the two of them will have to battle all the trials and tribulations of maintaining a platonic relationship while Felicity is pregnant and the two of them are living together, coping with all the emotional baggage that they both bring to the table - and dealing with the fact that they are still very much in love with each other, but scarred by the events that broke them apart in the first place.

time falls away (in these small hours) by @alexiablackbriar13 | Arrow | Completed

Summary: Missing scene and side-story oneshots and drabbles set within my S5 post-bunker sex AU little wonders (twists and turns of fate). (Will contain spoilers) Summary for little wonders: Oliver and Felicity's drunken mistake of a hook-up in the bunker comes with unexpected consequences in the form of a... souvenir.

Must be what I need by Nerdofmanytalents | Arrow | One-shot

Summary: Thea gets to meet the reason for her brother's preoccupation of late. Its both exciting and terrifying.

Hawkins: The Upside by allonsysilvertongue | Stranger Things | WIP

Summary: A collection of one shots featuring Joyce Byers and Jim Hopper.Recent Update: "I think you're beautiful."

Welcome to Starling Prep Elementary by inlovewithimpossibility | Arrow | Completed

Summary: When William Clayton and Adalyn Smoak bond over being the two new kids in Starling Prep Elementary's first-grade class, their parents are not prepared for what comes of their children's friendship. Plus, it doesn't hurt that both Oliver and Felicity are single.

Our Version of Events by @machawicket & @geneeste | Arrow | WIP

Summary: Action star Ollie Queen is trying to clean up his image and land parts that require him to do more than appear shirtless while fighting stuntmen. Pop star Felicity Smoak wants to be seen as an adult in time for the release of her new, grittier album. And talent manager John Diggle’s got an idea about what coverage of Oliver and Felicity’s brand new (and totally fake) romance could do for them both.

Workouts and Babbles by @elasticmonk | Arrow | WIP

Summary: Oliver comes to the rescue of one cute blonde at his gym just as Felicity stumbles upon one handsome mayor at her gym. They both have something in common, but will it bring them happiness?

Bodyguard by originalhybridlover | Arrow | WIP

Summary: Felicity needs a new bodyguard and Diggle referred her to an old friend, Oliver Queen. Unknowingly she meets the man she would one day marry.

Let me know if you want to be tagged!

@hope-for-olicity @emdee8907 @malafle @laxit21 @icannotbelieveiamhere

#saturday spectacular fic rec #weekly fic recs

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artistic-writer · 4 years

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The Paradox of Light :: CS AU : Rated E :: part 2

Title: The Paradox of Light by @artistic-writer Summary: Imagine having one person, one constant, one love in your life that holds your head when you go under the surface. They will be there forever, holding your hand through everything life can throw at the pair of you, but what happens when a crack forms? What happens when it grows into something neither of you can control? What happens when the one person who was there to guide you becomes an obstacle and rather than hold you up, they pull you down? How do you find your way out of the darkness without your light? Rating: E Warnings: Angst, hurt/comfort, alcoholism/alcohol abuse, sexual addiction, domestic violence, fighting, choking, erotic asphyxiation (use in a non-informed manner), depression, death of Liam Jones, panic attacks, PTSD, attempted rape/non-con/dub-con, stab wounds, bar fights, rehab/AA meetings

- but there is a happy ending to this story, i promise.

Author’s Note: I missed this ficversary because of everything that is going on in the world right now, but its been in the plan to re-release it as a multichapter for some time. It’s A LOT otherwise and whilst I initially always intended this to be a one shot, because I wrote it in one go, its not logical to expect people to stop and read so many words in one go. The lovely fanart by @itsfabianadocarmo features in all chapters, so go show her some love!

PLEASE HEED THE WARNINGS!! This fic has a lot of them for a reason. If you want to ask about any, please don’t be afraid to message me.

Part Two [ below the cut ]

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Five months ago

“Hi, Emma, it’s Will.”

“Is he…?”

“Yeah, I’m afraid so, lass.”

“I’m on my way. Don’t let him leave.”

Like so many phone calls before, Emma knew exactly what it meant when Will called her. He was a good friend of theirs, a military buddy of Killian’s and the manager of the local bar that just happened to be where Killian went night after night to poison himself into a stupor. Will could not turn him away whilst sober, despite knowing exactly what he was trying to achieve by drinking more than his weight in spirits, but even Will had a limit to how far he would go to help his friend.

And by Will’s tone, Emma knew Killian had reached his brand new threshold. Steadily he had become immune to the effects of prolonging drinking, becoming even more depressed as he had remained sober for longer, and to make matters even worse, Emma had let him. She felt awful, watching the man that she loved crumble each and every night he returned home in a mess of bitter tasting kisses and sloppy groping.

But she had made a choice, as selfish as it seemed, to ignore the rancid taste on Killian’s tongue night after night in favour of her own high that lie on the other side of her orgasm. They had fallen into a routine of him drinking himself stupid, his emotions getting the better of him when it was never enough, and then the both of them falling into bed and into each other to numb what they were feeling. It was wrong, and it was selfish, but Emma never wanted it to end.

What lay just beyond their grief was their hope, a guiding beacon of deliverance, and the only thing in their way was the pleasure of getting there, each losing themselves in the other and falling asleep in each other's arms. It had been enough and they had managed to function, neither saying a word of what they required because the other always knew. Except now they had become addicted to each other, with no sense of moderation, and that was why Emma found herself driving out to Will’s bar at midnight to retrieve her next fix.

Killian always drank in the same booth because that corner of the bar was dimly lit and he could hide his tears after each glass. When Emma approached it didn’t escape her notice that the table was full of empty tumblers, none with a single drop of alcohol left in the bottom, and that there were more than usual covering the wooden surface. He was slumped back in the soft, dark green leather seat, his chin on his chest and his fingers wrapped around what she assumed was his last drink, even though the glass looked as dry as a bone.

“Will cut me off,” he grumbled against his chest, not looking up to meet her gaze. Emma sighed pitifully.

“Come on, Killian, let’s get you home,” she coaxed gently as she moved some of the glasses away from the edge of the table. If he stumbled she didn’t need him breaking a glass or worse.

“I’m not…” he began, quickly blowing out his cheeks and swallowing the rise of burning bile that had crept up his throat.

“I think you’re done drinking,” Emma offered. She stepped forward and ran her hand through his hair as he lifted his head to look at her, a genuine smile that she had not seen for months plastered across his face, but as quickly as it appeared, it faded and Killian wrenched his head away from her touch.

“I’m not done drinking,” he spat, unable to stop himself when he fell sideways and out of the booth. Killian barely stopped his face colliding with the floor and quickly pushed himself to his knees. “That...That bastard said I’ve had enough!” He waved an accusing finger towards the bar, his eyes squinting at Will who simply watched with a solemn expression.

Emma gave Will a quick apologetic smile before turning back to Killian and crouching down beside him. “I think you’ve had enough,” Emma said seriously, her jaw clenching and her arms straining as she hooked her arm into his elbow and yanked Killian to his feet.

Killian shook his head from side to side, sucking on his bottom lip and closing his eyes just long enough to stop the world spinning. “I know I’ve got room for more,” he laughed maniacally, falling against Emma who struggled to hold him aloft by herself. Luckily, Will had seen the display, on more than one occasion, and was on hand to help instantly.

“Yeah? And why is that, mate?” Will lifted Killian’s arm and ducked under it, holding him with Emma who mirrored his actions on the opposite side. They shuffled towards the back door, that exit closest to Emma’s car, Killian still giggling like he had just outsmarted his biggest nemesis. They stopped briefly when Killian plastered his hand to the side of Will’s head, turning his face to his as his eyes peeled open and he looked him dead in the eye.

“Because I can still feel,” Killian said softly, his voice wavering on the last word. Will paused, the bleakness behind Killian’s eyes something he had never noticed before now. They were dull, the spark of blue he once saw from both Jones brothers now gone, replaced with a blackness that had turned them grey. Killian’s adam’s apple bobbed as he swallowed a lump of tears down his throat and his lips twitched into a weak smile as he patted Will’s cheek and pressed his forehead against his. “It still hurts.”

“I’m sorry, mate,” Will almost whispered, grabbing the back of Killian’s head and holding him steady. “I wish I could take it away, you know that.”

“You can,” Killian whimpered. “Just one more…”

“No, Killian,” Emma interrupted gently and Killian looked away from his friend and back to the woman he loved with a slight sway. Will caught him and stopped him from falling backwards. “Let’s just go home.”

Her words were code, Emma knew it and Killian knew it too. Home wasn’t where they lived, parked their cars at night and watched their television. No, home was more than that. It was the place of peace they found inside of each other, the place they went to when they needed each other the most because the guilt of living was too much to bear. And above all else, home was where they could forget about the world and where the weight of misery was lifted from their shoulders.

They barely spoke on the way home, the cold night air whistling through Killian’s tousled hair as he rested his head against the doorframe, the window of the truck rolled all the way down. He sang to himself, songs from his tours of duty, songs that reminded him of his brother’s both familial and adoptive. The words were gut wrenching and Emma had no idea he even knew he was saying them aloud, but she simply drove and listened, the now familiar lump once again forming in her throat as he sobbed through each verse beside her.

“Emma?” Killian coughed her name roughly, a burn tearing through his lungs that was most likely from the cold and the alcohol. He had found the couch, his body too intoxicated to find its way to anywhere else in the house and he had collapsed back into the softness of the cushions as if they had beckoned him.

“Right here,” Emma murmured softly, tossing her car keys onto the kitchen island and moving into the lounge. “Here, drink this,” Emma commanded gently, lifting Killian’s hand and guiding it to the tall glass of water in her hand. He fumbled, barely gripping the slippery glass, so she helped him lift it to his lips and he sipped the ice cold liquid with disgust.

“Water?” Killian grimaced, turning his face away from it like a child. “Where is the rum?”

“No more rum,” Emma chastised, placing the glass on the table in front of them and settling beside him on the couch. She laid her hand down over his knee, feeling how cold he was through the fabric of his jeans.

“It’s not enough,” Killian scoffed, his words quickly turning into a sorrowful sob as they left his mouth. Emma knew what he meant and gave his knee a squeeze. The alcohol was not enough to take away the pain anymore and Emma wished she could ease his burden and carry some of his despair.

“Killian, I…” she began gently.

“You love me, right?” he blurted suddenly. Emma frowned a little as she took in his expression. It was soft, desperate and child like and his lip quivered. Killian’s cheeks flushed red and the tears in his eyes came back, the redness around his eyes reappearing as she saw the fresh wave that threatened to fall.

“Of course,” Emma slid closer to him and flattened her palm to his cheek. Killian leaned into her touch and held her hand to his face as he inhaled her scent. “I will always love you.”

“I want…” he stuttered, searching her eyes for a sign that she could understand what he wanted without him having to force the rest of the words from his mouth. Killian pulled Emma’s hand a little until she had no choice but to move with her arm and so she did, straddling his lap as he had intended.

“I know,” Emma whispered, leaning her forehead against his and cupping his face in her hands. Killian’s scruff tickled her palms but she ignored it as his tears soaked her fingers. “I want it too,” she gulped hard, her fingers sliding up and down the sides of his face, threading through his sideburns and tracing the outline of his elfen ears.

With a hefty sigh of relief, Killian’s dam broke and his audible cry of anguish rumbled from deep in his chest. “I know we shouldn’t,” he sobbed, his breath hitching in his throat and his hands finding the hem of Emma’s sweater. “But I just want to…”

“Feel free?” Emma sighed softly. Killian nodded against her and Emma pulled her face from his and moved off of his lap. He was hit with the very real panic of never letting the stabbing sensation in his chest be replaced with anything else until Emma grabbed the back of her sweater and pulled it over her head. She tossed it aside, made short work of her jeans and bra and left him stunned to silence when she stood before him as gloriously naked as the day she was born.

She was an angel, of that he was sure. She was a celestial being sent to guide him through the path of shadows and light his way to freedom. Only, Killian knew as much as Emma did, that if that was true, she was about to become one of the fallen, an angel tempted by the sins of man and never to be redeemed.

“Me too,” Emma rasped, sitting astride his lap once more and frantically tugging at the belt of his jeans. Helpless to aid her because of the heaviness of his limbs, Killian simply watched her nimble fingers work on the button of his jeans, tugging the sides apart and sending a shock wave of arousal coursing right through him.

This time was about her need, Killian knew that. She was quick, barely allowing herself to become aroused before sinking down onto him, wincing at the stretch and burn he knew she would undoubtedly feel from his girth. And there was a hurriedness in her actions, a hunter like instinct to find her own quarry that scared him a little until she found a rhythm that made her shudder and leaned forward to taste his lips.

“Make me come, Killian,” Emma gasped between bounces, planting her lips against his only long enough to feel them on her skin and not taste the sourness of rum on his breath. “Take me there.”

Killian wrapped his arms around her naked form, planting his hands firmly against her back until he felt the bumps of her spine beneath the tips of his fingers. Emma’s soft, downy body hair sprang to attention and she arched her back willingly when Killian curved her body away from his and loomed forward to capture a nipple between his lips. They were dry and cracked against her skin but Emma didn’t mind the texture. It was like a trigger, her external pain amplifying her internal struggle for release that only Killian could give her.

Nails clawed over her skin and teeth bit down on the peaks of her breasts and Emma screamed out, her orgasm ripping through her body like an exorcism, leaving its mark in the form of weak shudders and soft whimpers as the demon of desolation left her body once more. Killian followed shortly afterwards, his hips jutting into her throbbing core only a few more times before he found his own salvation and went deaf from it, the beacon of light shining through him once more.

There was a moment after they had both peaked that they felt free. They were free from pain, free to let hands roam over gentle curves and through messed up side parted hair, but it never lasted. They both knew they would wake up the next day, the high of their bliss having subsided and the demons of despair making their inevitable return, but for now all they had was this moment, and in this moment, they were alive.

Four months ago

Emma knew this day would come. Killian had left for work as normal, kissing her goodbye and acting as normal as any other person in the world. His breath was fresh and minty, a tiny remnant of toothpaste caught in the corner of his mouth that Emma had wiped away with a wet thumb pad. And there was a glimmer of hope in his eyes, one that Emma had not seen for months, a smile of genuine glee on his face and a sparkle in his eyes as he let the door close behind him and waved goodbye.

It wasn’t long after home time, when she had received no messages like she usually did, that panic set in and Emma realised that what Killian had been experiencing in the morning was simply mania. Depression was an evil thing, worming itself into the lives of unsuspecting people, creeping up on them without remorse. Every once in a while, there would be a peak of happiness that professionals would call mania, the manic side of being so low that you can’t physically take it anymore.

Killian had always texted Emma to tell her he was at Will’s bar, but not tonight, and after Will had texted her to say he had confiscated Killian’s keys, she had resigned herself to the fact that he was probably not coming home for the first time since Liam had died. She felt empty and was unable to drink the cinnamon topped hot chocolate she had prepared shortly before bed, simply leaving the milky drink to go cold and lumps of melted cream to float around the surface.

Emma knew she hadn’t been asleep long when she heard the rattle of keys struggling to find the lock on the front door. There was barely even the disorientation of sleep clouding her mind or the fuzz of sleep covering the inside of her mouth before she heard the cursing coming from the kitchen and the breaking of ceramic against the floor. The cold chocolate had met its demise against the slate tiles and Killian hadn’t even lowered his voice as he swore about the mess.

“Swan!” He called out groggily, his voice booming through the silent house. A light chuckle followed his shout but Emma did not move, her limbs heavy and her mind exhausted from her worry that had now been abated. She knew he would find his way to bed, he always had before, but the tingle in her joints and the increase of her heart beat told her that her body was not as annoyed as she should be.

The bedroom door opened with a thud as it hit the wall behind, the indent from the doorknob leaving a mark in the plaster of ever increasing depth. It was fruitless trying to cover it up now because if it wasn’t one addiction making the door fly open in a sloppy maneuver, it was the desperation of the other sending the cold, round handle into the wall night after night as they tore each other’s clothes off seeking their high.

“Swan?” Killian whispered all too loudly as he stumbled over his boots midway through kicking them off. “Are you awake?” He made it to the edge of the bed, falling forward and only just stopping himself with two flat palms to the mattress.

“I am now,” Emma lied, rolling over to face him. He was merry, not doubt about it, his rosy cheeks and red tipped ears telling her exactly his poison of choice. Rum always made him blush in random places.

“I tried to be quiet,” Killian slurred, swaying side to side as he lifted his knee onto the bed in an ungainly manner. He lost his balance instantly and slammed his foot back to the floor before he toppled over. “Did you make the bed higher?” He mumbled, inspecting the edge of the mattress with a frown.

“No, Killian,” Emma sighed, sitting up and flicking her hair behind her shoulders. She never went to bed with her hair tied up anymore, not since meeting Killian, but it had been months since he had absently run his fingers through it in his sleep and inhaled the soft vanilla scent from her shampoo.

“I like your hair,” Killian grinned at her, eyelids heavy and a boyish smirk plastered across his face. Emma rolled her eyes and raised an eyebrow at him, shaking her head a little. “It’s so…” He paused, trying to find the words, poking his tongue out and sucking behind his teeth until he made a squeaking noise. “...yellow.”

“Yellow?” Emma asked incredulously.

“Aye, like the bug,” Killian smiled at her and it was real, a soft curve of his lips that were slightly parted and told her that he was happy, if only for this moment. He attempted to mount the bed once again, this time victoriously, and shuffled onto his side once he had taken a good two minutes to free his arms from the confines of his leather jacket. He tossed it across the room with little effort and when he ran his hand through his hair, Emma noticed the dried blood adorning his knuckles in the light of the moon.

“You’ve cut your hand,” She said quickly, pulling his hand closer so she could inspect it. The skin on his knuckles had burst open leaving a jagged edged wound in its wake, the fresh, bright red blood still trying to escape through the dried, dark brown crust. Emma leaned over and pulled the toggle switch on one of their bedside lamps, the room erupting in a dim orange glow as soon as the clicking sound filled their ears.

“I’m fine,” Killian shrugged dismissively.

Emma looked up from his hand to meet his gaze and her eyes went wide, the light flooding into her pupils and making her eyes sting. “Killian! You’re hurt!” She shrieked, moving closer, the feather duvet ruffling around her as she did, her eyes roaming over his face. He was beat, there were no bones about that, a purple swell under his right eye keeping his eyelids together and a dried line of blood that had trickled down the side of his face.

“You should see the other guy,” Killian said joyously, giving her a wink. Emma tutted, mostly at herself because as her hand hovered over a freshly reopened wound on his right cheek, she felt a surge of want that scared her. She was fascinated by the patterns of splattered blood on his shirt collar, turning the blue material into a dark maroon colour under ear spot, and she felt a blush creep up the back of her neck.

“Killian, I’m serious,” Emma chastised, enjoying the weight of his hand in hers, even if she shouldn’t under the circumstances. Her mind wandered briefly when he turned their hands over, brushing his thumb over the backside of her knuckles in a move so gentle her heart skipped in her chest and she had to swallow hard.

“So am I,” he said softly, his good eye fluttering closed when Emma’s featherlight fingertips brushed over the split skin next to his hairline.

“Is this all your blood?” Emma asked nervously as her eyes flickered over his face more urgently. Her gaze roamed lower and took in his shirt, top buttons tore off most likely from an opponent who had grabbed at the material. He had some dark red fingerprint type smudges across his neck, half shaped moon bruises there from fingernails and his chest hair glistened with a wet look.

“I’m sure it is not all mine,” Killian announced proudly. “I gave as good as I got, love, trust me.”

Emma flattened her hands out over his shirt, dread setting into her heart when she felt the warm, wet sensation under her fingers and realised that the wet look to his chest hair was in fact blood, his blood, from a wound that had been newly inflicted or was struggling to stem itself under the friction of his shirt. Emma tore at the remainder of his buttons, ripping the edges of his shirt apart in haste.

“Oh my god,” She exclaimed breathlessly, her face turning alabaster and heat prickling her skin when she saw the damage. “Fuck, Killian, you’ve been stabbed!”

“What?” Killian laughed nervously, craning his neck to look down at where Emma was looking. Sure enough, even through blurred vision, Killian could see the irregular circular shape punched into his pec, the flaps of skin around the edges the faintest shade of white under the layer of caked on blood. He lifted his head again, the colour draining from his face in shock. “Well, bugger.”

The hospital was more than understanding and why wouldn’t they believe the word of the local sheriff when she told them her boyfriend was accidentally injured in a bar fight? It probably wasn’t a million miles from the truth, but Killian could not remember how it had happened. A quick call to Will confirmed that there had been an altercation in the bar that, but nothing more than a few pickled slurs and insults that had fizzled out towards closing time. It seemed whoever Killian had ticked off had followed him out back because Will had found a broken bottle by the dumpster, the bottom shattered, bloody fingerprints around the neck and the sharp, pointed edges covered in dried blood.

“You are lucky,” Emma snapped, tossing her purse onto the kitchen counter.

“I’m alright, love,” Killian said with a wince as he shrugged out of his blood stained jacket whilst being mindful of his injury.

“That’s not the point,” Emma bit out, unable to look in his direction. “Not only did you not come home when Will’s closed, but when you did finally fall through the door you were stabbed, Killian! Stabbed!”

“I’m sorry, Swan,” Killian gulped, the last few hours having sobered him up enough that he could see the pain in her posture and the hurt in her voice as it switched between anger and fear. He moved towards her, his bootless feet falling silent on the tile, sidestepping the congealed chocolate he had spilled a few hours ago.

Emma leaned forward, trembling hands clinging to the edge of the marble as the emotion of the whole evening hit her like a freight train. Killian’s hands were on her as soon as the flood gates opened, drawing slow circles over the curve of her shoulder joints with his thumbs as she cried. Emma shook, her whole body wracked with sobs she had been holding in since the moment she discovered the gaping hole in his chest.

“Damn it, Killian!” She cried, slamming a flat palm into the cold, stone surface in front of her.

“I know,” he soothed sympathetically.

“They said you were lucky!” She screeched, turning to face him. He didn’t step back and ignored the pain that shot through his wound with the twist of his arm.

“I know…,” he agreed.

“Half an inch to the right and that bottle would have pierced your heart!” Emma bellowed, her eyes falling to where the dried blood had turned his shirt a dark shade of brown. The hospital had cleaned away most of the blood that had stuck to his chest hair and he had left his shirt open on the way home, so Emma reached out and pressed her fingers against the steady beat of his heart, the skin warm and supple under her touch. She raked her nails over the patch of hair above his heart, millimeters from the tape of the bandage covering the hole in his pec and couldn’t stop the quiver in her lip as the tears tumbled from her eyes. “I could have lost you,” she whimpered, lifting her head to finally face him, the expression of a broken man staring back at her. “I can’t lose you.”

Killian fought the ache in his chest and lifted his arms, pulling her into his embrace, the bandage on his chest quickly soaked by Emma’s tears. “I know,” he sighed sadly, tucking her head under his chin and rubbing his hands up and down her back.

There were no words that he could say that would make her feel better. Emma had been stronger than he could have ever been but finally her integrity had shattered into a thousand pieces, all of which he held in his hands, a charge he neither felt qualified or strong enough to uphold. Emma’s fingers clutched at the edges of his shirt as she cried, holding him to her with distress in her wails that he would never forget.

She lifted her head and real fear flashed through her eyes, turning the honey hues into a murky hazel. Killian met her gaze, the silence between them saying everything that they needed to. He recognised the look in her eyes, he had seen it before when Liam had died and she had thought she would lose him to the sharp edge of a razor blade or in a bottle of prescription painkillers. It was primal, urgent and miserable want of the highest degree.

And he felt it too.

“What are we doing to each other?” Killian rasped, his voice catching in his throat as his eyes flickered between hers and her lips.

“Shut up and kiss me,” Emma commanded on a heaving breath, her fingers curling around the crusty edges of his shirt.

“Emma, I…” Killian began, his sobriety giving him a moment of clarity in this toxic part of their relationship he hadn’t experienced until now. Emma’s hands were on the back of his neck before any more words could escape his mouth, his body ignoring his brain’s objections as soon as their lips met. The kiss was feverish, burning them up from the inside out and making them gasp for oxygen between tastes of tongues, clashes of teeth and the biting of lips.

They had sex differently now. It wasn’t making love so much as fucking, diving into each other until they were drowning in the sounds of pleasure and the smell of their sweat sheened skin invaded their senses. It was hurried, like a race into wretchedness with no winner, a sprint for the finish line that left them elated but never sated.

Killian wanted her, and Emma wanted him. That was all they knew.

When Emma tangled her fingers into his hair, pulling in frustration, Killian growled and it set a switch off inside of Emma. Gone were her tears, gone was her worry that she might never have him again, instead the vacancy in her core replaced with desire, deep and sultry that had her tugging again at the dark locks and biting his bottom lip a little harder than he was used to. He cried out again and tore his lips from hers, dabbing his stinging bottom lip with a fingertip and inspecting it for blood. Killian looked up at her again, confused and aroused, Emma was looking up at him through her eyelashes, her body arching into his and her teeth troubling her bottom lip salaciously. He grinned, the intense throb in his jeans hurting that little bit more than before.

“There’s my pirate,” Emma cooed his nickname, wrapping her fingers around the chain that Killian wore around his neck. He never took it off because it held one of his most prized possessions, Liam’s ring, and she slid her hand down the cool metal links until she had it in her palm.

Killian surged forward, ignoring the sting of pain as he hoisted her into his arms and she wrapped her legs around his waist. She could feel his length through his jeans pressing into the thin material of the pajamas she had neglected to change out of in her panic to get him to the hospital before and it made her groan, snaking her hands around his neck and pulling his already open mouth to hers.

Their kisses were messy, wet and rushed, tongues diving deeper than they ever had before. Emma noticed the distinctly faded taste of a different brand of rum on Killian’s tongue and wondered if he had drunk through Will’s supply already that week, but it was short lived when Killian swiped an extended arm over the kitchen table, ridding it of a few magazines and candles, and them slammed her down on the hard, wooden surface with a grunt. He stood back, a dark hollowness to his stare as he grabbed the waistband of her pants and underwear at the same time and pulled them off in one motion.

“Hurry,” Emma begged wantonly, writhing on the table and watching his hands fumble with the button of his jeans. “I need you,” She purred as she traced circles over her clit, slicking her nectar from her fluttering core and using it as lubrication over the pulsating bundle of nerves. Killian was free in no time, roughly grabbing Emma’s knees as he stepped up to the edge of the table and pulling her to him, his tip stretching her entrance in just the most torturous way.

“I need you too,” Killian said firmly, his entire body shaking from holding himself back. Emma hooked her legs around his back, digging her heels into his spine and pulled him closer, impaling herself with a raging satisfaction.

“So, take me,” She challenged and it was all Killian needed to begin a rhythm with his hips that left her inner walls screaming for more and her body boneless.

He was relentless, gasping for breath and holding her to him as he thrust into her, barely leaving the comfort of her fiery centre for fear he might never find his way back. Emma yelped when he pulled her a little too harshly, hooking his hands behind her knees, his fingernails digging into her flesh so hard she was sure she would have bruises the next day. They would be a reminder, proof of their devotion and a visual description of the actions of their addiction to each other, hidden from friends but they would know they were there.

They would always know they were there.

As with any dependency, their trysts had become stale and they needed more each time in order to find the shining light within each other and feel the relief of a climax as it washed over them. Killian stopped his pounding thrusts when Emma screamed his name in such a way that meant she was close, cruelty he knew, but he wasn’t done with taking her to heaven just yet. Emma whined with a frown, but it was short lived because ignoring the searing pain from the stitches pulling against his freshly torn skin on his chest, Killian pulled her up off the table and into his arms, spinning them and stumbled into the side of the refrigerator.

“Yes,” Emma whispered, clutching the sides of his face and clawing at his cheeks. “More,” she panted, biting his chin and stiffening as he rolled his hips in that perfect way again and again.

“You’ll never lose me,” Killian panted between thrusts, his hands grabbing the globes of her naked ass as he leaned his entire weight against the buzzing appliance to hold Emma up. “Never,” he affirmed with a deep, core clenching plunge into her that made Emma bury her face in his neck and squeal with her impending orgasm.

“I’m there,” Emma sighed and she felt Killian grab the top of the refrigerator, pulling himself into her even harder to prolong her pleasure. “Come with me,” she begged, her voice almost as if she was crying, ready to explode on the inside, the approaching light inside of her numbing her senses and taking away her breath as well as her pain. Killian crowed, his legs buckling and giving out from underneath him, the pair of them tumbling to the floor and rolling into the remnants of the hot chocolate long forgotten.

Their bliss wouldn’t last, they both knew that, for tomorrow they would wake up still broken and damaged.

#cs au #hurt/comfort #the paradox of light #tpol #icymi

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dreadnought-dear-captain · 5 years

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You Asked, I Told

**Contains spoilers for Baghdad Waltz up to chapter 36 and the movie Soldier’s Girl (noted below); CW for some general discussion on the subject of writing about childhood sexual abuse**

Hello everyone!

I’m so sorry I’ve been so neglectful of my inbox and slow to answer Ao3 comments lately :( I have so, so many wonderful asks here, and I want to push out a few batches of answers in the next couple of weeks. I’m a little over 2/3 of the way through Chapter 37 of BW, which will probably be hovering around the 20k word count. But Bucky and Steve will be having their first therapy session! With Claire Temple! And it’s going to be… Well, it’s Bucky and Steve, so stay tuned.

You are too kind, and I’m actually bummed that BW has changed people’s enjoyment of other fics, because this is not the first time I’ve heard this, and it’s certainly not my intent. I’m glad you enjoy the minor characters here, because they have been very fun to create. I have loads of backstory that will never see the light of day, and I adore them so much. As to the second part, I’m reading this as your wondering a couple things: 1) perhaps questioning Steve’s level of devotion to Bucky (or just marveling at it, if this is a rhetorical question), and 2) perhaps also questioning Thor’s assessment that Bucky is the guy you fuck, not the guy you settle down with.

In terms of Steve’s love, some would say that Steve is clearly devoted because Bucky is a very hard person to be in a relationship with, and the fact that he’s still even around is a sign of his devotion. Others would say that he hasn’t done enough to show how much he loves him, that he should do more, because Bucky is suffering so much and needs a lot of support now. We all have our own interpretations of what “enough” is, and I see this a lot in the comments section of BW. I appreciate multiple perspectives on this, and I think we all come at this from our own experiences on one side or the other of relationships like this. I think readers tend to fall on the side of one character or the other, and the Bucky people might err on the side of believing that Steve is not doing enough (or doing the wrong things) and the Steve people might err on the side that Bucky, although clearly suffering, is not considering the ways in which Steve is devoted and the ways in which he hurts Steve. I love both of these characters and am not overly devoted to either, so I see both of their perspectives and aim to write from both sides.

As for Bucky being too “wild” and not being the kind you marry/settle with, I don’t know if we can really trust Thor’s assessment of this situation. He didn’t know Bucky for long, and the time he knew him was at a time when Bucky was pretty low in personal insight. Although Bucky has proven himself adept at committing to an arduous career and excelling greatly, Bucky still does struggle to commit in relationships. But to say that he’s “wild” could be a bit of a misnomer. Pan the camera one way, and he looks like a fun and wild party guy who loves to drink and fuck and has a charismatic, wild personality that is irresistible. Pan the camera the other way and you’ve got someone who’s desperately trying to manage his emotions with alcohol and sex and sometimes can’t, a guy who is essentially “wild and charismatic” because he has trouble with emotional and interpersonal regulation due an extensive history of trauma. As he works to uncover and confront his history, we will have to see how things unfold and whether he commits to engaging with care for himself after his rift with Scott.

I hope this addresses your Ask!

I have had a good deal of interaction with the military system in my life through various channels and have also done a LOT of research. For every military-heavy chapter, I look over a ton of regulations (even weapons manuals - fun!), talk to Army veteran friends and associates who are very generous with their time, watch documentaries, scour the internet for hours and hours and HOURS and just do… a lot. Which is part of why this fic is so slow to come out.

I just want to say thank you for this. I don’t know if this comment still holds for you, because I received it between chapters 35 and 36, but this is one of the things that I feel the absolute most anxiety about when I post this fic. The last thing I want to do is write anything that is going to be exploitative, especially since I know how many people in the general population have experienced childhood sexual abuse. I agonize over how much detail to include, because I don’t want to include unnecessary details just for shock value. However, I also don’t want to avoid the content if it’s part of the character’s internal experience. In chapter 36, for example, it was important for me to convey what it was like for Bucky to experience an intrusive memory of his abuse, because that is consistent with how I write the internal experiences of my characters. It’s part of my style and part of why people read BW, I think. To back away now because it contains this kind of content would be a disservice to the character and his experience, because this is important to his life and the person he’s become.

But I also don’t want it to just be an opportunity for readers to be like ohhhhh all the DETAILS WOWWW. So with everything that I write, I strive to think - what is the purpose of what I’m including? Is this consistent with the way a network of traumatic memories would operate? What’s the cue in the environment that would light this up? If the purpose is character development or plot progression, I can justify including the details. In chapter 36, for example, it was important for us to see that Bucky is allowing himself to remember his past, that it’s dysregulating him, which lead to his rift with Scott and his relapse. All character and plot points. But if it’s just for funsies or for some Jerry Springer-style reveal to shock the readers, or anything even close to that, I would try my hardest to screen for that. As for creating an arbitrary tragic backstory for some other character to heal, I can see how that would be a tempting thing to do for a writer. Although this is a part of Bucky’s history, and although there could be times when he feels like it defines him, challenging that may also be part of his journey. And I’m sure Steve would love if he could heal Bucky with the power of his love (or cock magic) alone. If only.

Thanks so much for this.

This is a good question. As you’ve seen, people certainly can have profound functional impairment when their symptoms come to a head, to the point where hospitalization is sometimes the best option. Bucky has made great strides in his recovery and has accumulated a lot of skills from AA and DBT that he didn’t have before, even with a meltdown and a relapse thrown in there. I know it’s sometimes really hard to see how far he’s come, but he’s traveled lightyears from overdosing at the Holiday Inn on Long Island.

That being said, this reaction isn’t extremely promising, given the implication that these are just the first real burbles of his traumatic past rising to the surface. I’d say a few things could happen as more of this starts to emerge.

1) He could do as you say, decompensate, have a lot of trouble functioning in his daily life, maybe go into some sort of partial hospitalization or inpatient hospitalization. This option would allow him to be in a controlled environment, the kind of place where he might be able to manage this stuff without other demands getting in the way.

2) He could rely very heavily on coping skills and social supports to manage this stuff as it comes up, and maybe it doesn’t overtake him completely. This would be extremely challenging because it would require him to reach out for help and accept it.

3) He could find some way to stop this process altogether by resuming drinking or some other maladaptive coping behavior. This would be very tempting for him, especially as things get exponentially more difficult.

Importantly, Bucky is still the same person as he was before, in terms of the primary effects his traumatic history has had on his life. What’s really in question here is his ability to face his memories and the truth of his own experience, which he can’t run from anymore because his old compartmentalization and avoidance strategies are falling apart. I think a lot will depend on whether he continues to make himself an island or whether he lets others close to him to support and assist him in this process. So much of the latter depends on trust and his sense of personal and emotional safety, which have been deeply shaken by his experiences. This makes everything so much more challenging. We’ll have to see how it all unfolds!

Thanks for the Ask!

**CONTAINS SPOILERS FOR THE MOVIE**

UGH. Okay, I rented this DVD from Netflix when I got this Ask, because I thought, hey, why not… and then it sat on my shelf unwatched for about seven weeks. Netflix probably thought I just kept it. Obviously I have a pretty thick skin, given the shit I write about, but I was dreading watching it. The sleeve gives the plot away, so I knew what was coming, but God, kill me.

I died over a lot of the military inaccuracies, but it’s a TV movie, so it kind of gets a pass I guess. And it took place at Fort Campbell, Bucky’s least favorite place on Earth! This movie is also a creature of its time, which was fascinating in itself - a cis man playing a trans woman (megasigh, although admirably well), the commentary after from people on an active DADT policy still in effect, which was incredible. It seems so ridiculous to me now that it was ever in effect, especially when I recall the arguments against allowing open service for LGBQ folks (“but they’ll look at my butt in the showers!!”), and I wonder what kind of world we would have if Bill Clinton had gotten his way when he was elected and didn’t have to compromise with DADT.

It was very interesting to hear Barry’s sexuality being questioned so much because he was in love with a trans woman. The film makers talked about him “discovering something about his sexuality” because he was in this sexual relationship with her — like what? There was a lot of implication throughout the film and special features that trans women aren’t real women. And perhaps some of this stuff speaks to some level of sexual flexibility that might be present in someone who’s happy to give oral sex to a woman with a penis etc., so okay, I can buy that perhaps. But a small amount of flexibility is not necessary sexual confusion or radical sexual discovery, and it’s certainly not gayness or a sign that he’s not straight (though he may have been somewhere else on the sexuality spectrum, but that doesn’t necessarily have anything to do with having romantic/sexual feelings for a trans woman). But there was an odd cissexist/transphobic thread that ran through the whole film, even though the actors and production team were clearly very enthusiastic about the story and sensitive to the characters. And Barry’s mother was straight up like “maybe they were just friends, who knows.” [sigh] I dunno.

But to the point of what actually happened to Barry - God. That was rough. It reminds me of kids who are bullied for being gay perhaps because they’re not masculine enough, etc. and end up killing themselves, even though they’re not gay. His death was brutal and shocking and horrible, and it gave me kind of a “Boys Don’t Cry” feel for me, but in reverse? If that makes any sense. The way he was ostracized by his peers made me sad, especially when he was working so hard to integrate into his unit, and it reminded me of all of the people who were victims of the witch hunts prior to DADT and even after, how lonely that must have been, how devastating to one’s career and connections to their military family. It’s one of the reasons Bucky tried so hard to appear either extremely occupied or extremely straight. But overall, I thought the movie did a good job of making this a love story and not fetishizing Calpernia’s trans-ness, and I thought it was pretty balanced and nuanced for a 2003 movie trying to tackle this subject matter. I’m glad I watched this, even though the end was awful. I think I left feeling kind of good about the love story, imperfectly told as it was.

Thanks for the rec!

**END SPOILERS**

Oh god, I am so bad about Tumblr and everything else. I’m sorry for being so bad at all the tasks of maintaining a presence on social media etc. and yeah. I feel bad about it. I’m basically a social media renunciate in my personal life (my job is YOU NEED A LINKEDIN and I am cry), so it’s really not a habit in my fandom life. Thank you for your support (and the EG dig <3), and I’ll keep plugging away!

Please, please no worries!! I didn’t take it like that. I just want people to know that I’m working really hard and would get these out to you so much faster if I could. I know you’re all waiting and I wish I could deliver faster, but alas, adulthood. And I want these chapters to be as good as I can make them and sometimes writing is just really fucking hard, especially when your characters are falling apart. I do love them and telling this story and sharing it with all of you, so thank you for being awesome <3

I will have more “You Asked” soon! Thank you so much for dropping me these messages. I am thrilled to get them, and I promise I will get to them all.

#you asked #asks #send me asks

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bunny-wan-kenobi · 6 years

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Bunny Fic Recs: The Top Ten Strikes Back!

My friends think my fanfic-reading habits are hilarious and bizarre--and I tend to agree. I read stories in very distinct and obsessive phases, like if I’m in a Star Trek phase I literally cannot bring myself to read a story from a different fandom. Can’t do it--that’s just how it is. My fic-craving phases (there’s no way to put this that won’t make it sound like a drug habit) can be as short as 2 weeks (sorry @ginny-of-course) and as long as 5 months (aka my last Star Wars phase).

This means any fic rec summary will reflect my fandom phases of that year, which is kind of a fun way to see all the twists and turns my journey took me and the characters I discovered (and rediscovered). So, in no particular order, here’s the top ten fanfics I read this year!

1. Bargaining by proantagonist (Thor): Faced with an eternity without his brother, Loki strikes a bargain to change the past. Post TDW. (Complete)

This story is AMAZING. Not only does it contain some of the best characterizations of Thor, Loki, and Odin that I’ve read, it deftly examines their relationships in all their complexity and contradictions. The relationship between Thor and Loki is captured beautifully and simultaneously heartwarming and tragic. The way Loki grows over time and learns trial by trial is especially rewarding so that every big choice he makes had me fist-pumping in pride because the story builds up these twists so well. Every single detail matters, and this story gave me so many things I never knew I wanted from a Thor story. I thought I had the fic figured out, and then the ending completely shocked me in the best possible way. I cried so many times reading this story, and its insight into Loki’s headspace and the dysfunction of family relationships is remarkable.

2. too wise to peaceable woo by theMightyPen (LOTR): Most marriages in Gondor are matters of convenience, especially among the nobility. But Dol Amroth is a different sort of place, with a different sort of royal family. Sometimes, Lothiriel is not convinced this is a good thing.(or, how in Middle Earth the too southern, too dark, too outspoken daughter of Imrahil ended up married to Éomer, son of Éomund) (WIP)

I could write an essay about everything I love about this story. Not only does it make a compelling, lovable heroine out of a character I had not given much to previously (Lothiriel), but it tackles race, class, and inter-cultural issues in Middle Earth with incredible nuance and emotional depth. The slow-burn love story at its center is developed organically and complements the exploration of family and friend relationships and world-building for Rohan culture. I appreciate so many intentional elements--like the friendship between Eowyn and Lothiriel, the complex politics of countries still recovering from war, and a woman of color coming into her own as a leader. The Rohan the author paints is a breathing place vivid in detail, and even the OCs are easy to love and root for. A truly wonderful love story woven into an intricate cultural landscape, this fic puts me on the edge of my seat waiting for updates.

3. The Gentlest Schism by SanwichesYumYum (GOT): Jaime Lannister/Brienne of Tarth. The war is over. Some of them hadn’t thought that they would outlive it. And yet... (WIP but ends at a satisfactory point)

This is a rare story that goes against your expectations and makes you linger in the disappointments and losses along with the characters. The premise is heartbreaking, and becomes even more tragic as you keep reading, but at the same time, it’s a beautiful testament to the resilience of love and the importance of family. I love the community the author cultivates on Tarth, the unexpected characters they weave in, and how this little island becomes an entire functional and complex world of its own. The second half of the fic gets a little repetitive occasionally and there is some explicit content, but it’s a really compelling read and one of my favorite Jaime/Brienne stories.

4. The Days and Steps series by CatKing_Catkin (Thor): Even after everything, Thor holds out hope that his brother can be redeemed. Now that he's away from the Chitauri, his mind is fully his own again. Not that he's home, even as a prisoner, maybe he can start to remember what it's like to have a family and a place to belong. Maybe he can even come to truly understand the other worlds as something other than a conqueror. (Complete)

After reading the last story in this series, I wept like a baby. These stories trace Loki’s excruciatingly slow healing process in such a realistic and moving way that the ending feels so, so earned. Again, it’s the family dynamics that shine here, in particular, a family actually processing and dealing with the ways they’ve hurt each other and the mistakes they’ve made. The realizations strike deep and the characterizations are rich so you become fully invested in this family’s journey.

5. Captains and Pawns by sian22 (LOTR): "The board is set and the pieces are moving." So Gandalf said, but what unseen hand made them move? How far back did the game start and with what unexpected results? The Lords of Gondor and Rohan find Saruman will use them for his own end and both the Steward's sons and Rohan's Prince and Lady must find their way. A tale from Faramir's birth until the fateful kiss. (Complete)

If you’re a Faramir fan, this story is for you. It’s a fascinating character-driven story that fleshes out a lot of the subtext in the events before and during the War of the Ring. It moves the narrative from Gondor to Rohan and we follow Faramir, Eowyn, and Eomer from childhood to adulthood, reminding us of the cost of war and also deepening your love for these characters.

6. Ad Infinitum by Stormontheocean (Dragon Age): After a bus accident, Liz wakes up in Haven, stuck in the fictional world of Dragon Age. How does a modern girl get by when she can't speak the language, and her expansive knowledge of the Blight and Kirkwall, but limited knowledge of Inquisition would only make her look more suspicious? Fake being deaf and mute, and hope not to get caught before she can find proof of her origin. But the best laid plans never work out as expected... (WIP)

Okay, I’m usually wary of self-insert fics, but this one put ALL my doubts to rest. It works. It really does, and it manages to make the OC main character (the stumbling block of many a writer) a completely three-dimensional and lovable addition to an existing universe. The first big plot turn of the story made me so unbelievably gleeful and excited that I won’t spoil it here but let me say--the story does not turn out in the way you expect. Even the slow-burn romance is believably developed, and this story cemented my love for Bull’s Chargers. A stand-out AU fic that is just plain enjoyable to read.

7. Jacob and Esau Say Their Goodbyes by LadyCharity (Thor): After Svartalfheim, Loki is still alive. In the end, it changes nothing.In which Thor hurts, Loki loves, and Jane learns how to lie. (Complete)

Let me emphasize that this was a near-impossible choice to make. I love every single one of LadyCharity’s Thor fics, but I decided to go with the one I think excels at every level. It’s emotionally devastating, poignant, and with brilliant characterization. I appreciate how succinct, poetic, and introspective the author’s prose is, and she just gets these characters and their relationships. Shout-out for her great development for Jane as well, who all too often gets overlooked in fanfic.

8. A Wreath of Thorns by LadyNormaOfTheWesterlands (GOT): In the aftermath of the Battle of the Bastards and the destruction of the Great Sept in King's Landing, new allegiances are forged and family ties will be tested, as two Queens dance around a blood-dripping throne and a new King rises in the North. The day of reckoning is getting closer, for princes and commoners, for friend and foe, while cold winds bring the longest of winters, and, with it, an enemy who doesn't respond to honour, nor love. Post-Season 6. (WIP)

There’s a lot to love in this understated story, which captures the POV of multiple GOT characters as events hurtle towards an inevitable culmination. It’s an introspective story, almost meditative in nature, and everyone is perfectly IC. It’s tragic, inspiring, and ultimately a great tribute to these characters.

9. The Native by StarTrekFanWriter (Star Trek): The relationship that started it all - Sarek/Amanda. How a logical guy like Sarek fell for a human, and why he would defy his people to marry her. Sybock & Spock will be featured. (Complete)

The beginning of 2017 was my introduction to Sarek/Amanda fic, and this was one of the standouts. I’m a sucker for stories that navigate the cultural differences, tensions, and development of interracial relationships, and this one does a great job immersing you in Vulcan culture. Amanda is also a really wonderful character, strong, empathetic, intelligent and you can definitely see why she and Sarek are so well-matched.

10. The Abduction of Eomer, King of Rohan and House of Sun by Lialathuveri (LOTR) (Complete)

Okay I kinda cheated here but I honestly could not choose between these. I like them for completely different reasons: The first fic is a hilarious series of misadventures that bring Lothiriel and Eomer together and the second is a much more serious development of a love story after an arranged marriage. The world-building in both stories is well-realized, and Lothiriel is simply a delightful character that I will read in ANY iteration.

More Bunny Fic Recs:

My Top 10

The Next Top 10

Game of Thrones

Merlin

Makorra

LOTR/The Hobbit

Captain Swan

Star Wars: Romance One-shots

Star Wars: Gen One-shots

Star Wars: PT Multi-Chapter Fics

Star Wars: OT Multi-Chapter Fics

#fic recs #thor #loki #got #lord of the rings #dragon age #jaime x brienne #star trek #bunny posts

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