#or because there's bad news in the family and i might need to be on alert in case there's a memorial or service i need to attend
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Keeping Secrets
Claudia Pina x putellas!reader
You get a new addition, much to your sister's dismay but your girlfriends excitement.
Masterlist
“Mapi, I’m serious right now, you can’t tell anyone I’m doing this. Not Claudia, definitely not Alexia, nobody.” The older woman rolled her eyes at you but you both knew she’d take you seriously, if anyone wanted to avoid the wrath of your sister, it was Mapi. You wouldn’t have even bothered bringing Mapi but you needed the moral support and it was her friend that’d be doing the piercing for you.
“I don’t understand why you’re not telling Pina, though. She’s gonna see it soon enough anyways, right?” Now it was your turn to roll your eyes.
“I already told you, I’m not hiding it from her, it's just a surprise cause I know she’ll love it.” You apparently didn’t hide the smirk on your face as well as you’d hoped to, but you knew that the second you let Claudia see your new tongue piercing, she would be obsessed for more reason than one.
“Ew, if you don’t wipe that look off your face I might actually throw up,” you giggled at the older woman and pushed her away playfully, something you inherited from your older sister. “Come on, I have to fill in as your older sister since Alexia still doesn’t know about you two. Which I still don’t think is a good idea, by the way.” She gave you a knowing look but still kept a smile on her face.
You knew she was right, both about her stepping into your sister’s role, and also that it was a bad idea that you and Claudia were hiding your relationship from her, but at this point you just weren’t ready. To be fair, it’s not like Alexia was the only person you were hiding it from. The only people who knew about you two were Mapi, Ingrid, and Vicky, and Vicky wasn’t even supposed to know.
Vicky only knew about the two of you because she had been playing games on your phone when you got a rather X rated text from Claudia and easily caught on to the nature of your relationship. The younger girl knowing about it was more of a nuisance than anything else. Her new favorite thing to do was hold it over your head when she wanted something from you. You didn’t quite think she’d actually spill your secret, but it was a risk you still weren’t willing to take, so every time you said no to her, she’d give you that look, with that stupid little smirk, until you eventually gave in and gave her what she wanted.
Mapi, on the other hand, had been surprisingly mature about it all. You and Pina had both, unknowingly, been telling her about your feelings for each other before you ever got together, so it only felt natural to tell her when you finally did.
The night Claudia finally asked you out and you said yes, you both were so giddy and excited that you called her to tell her. The defender knew it would happen eventually but was just waiting for you two to figure it out yourselves only because Ingrid told her to stay out of your business, so when she got the call, she was almost as excited as both of you. She also knew however, that she had a big responsibility being the only one who knew (besides Ingrid).
Both of you were close with her, making her protective over both of you. The fact that neither of your other friends or family knew, only made her more protective, especially for you.
Mapi was obviously quite close with your sister, so she felt she had a duty to fill that sisterly role when Alexia was kept out of the loop. Because of this, it was typical for you to see her switch from her role as your friend to that of a protective older sister. The athlete didn’t approve of the way you kept it from your sisters and made sure you knew that from the very beginning, but at the end of the day, she knew you were an adult and couldn’t force you. So at the very least, she’d make sure to stand in for them until they knew.
That’s how you found yourself here, getting glared at every time you made a suggestive joke over the piercing you were about to get. “I still don’t get why you’re getting a tongue piercing, Cari. It sounds painful and you can’t even see it!”
“Just because you can’t see it doesn’t mean you can’t feel-”
“IF YOU FINISH THAT SENTENCE I’LL HIT YOU!” She gave you a gentle shove while you were busy laughing at your own joke. It truly wasn’t the only reason you were getting the piercing but it sure didn’t hurt. You knew Claudia would love it and love how it looked on you and you were excited to finally do it. Your schedule had been so busy that you had been waiting for a day where you had time, not too close to a game day, and today was perfect. All you had was a recovery session later in the day before a couple days off to take it easy and let it heal. The more time off you had, the easier you knew it’d be to hide it from your sister too.
...
A few hours later, you found yourself sitting in the locker room in front of your cubby, using your tongue to play with the new metal bar going through it. To say you were excited would have been an understatement. Just feeling the metal in your mouth gave you a confidence boost you didn’t know you needed.
You were buzzing to show Claudia, knee bouncing, fingers tapping along the side of the bench next to you. The plan was to wait until after training to show her. You knew the second she saw it that she’d be too excited to play it cool and keep the rest of the team ( and more importantly your sister) from seeing it. She also was likely to be all over you and give away the secret of your relationship as well, so you decided to wait until you were home, or at least in the car, before she could see it.
You were on your phone as you sat there, waiting for the rest of your teammates to arrive, especially your girlfriend. More of your teammates started to walk in but you paid them no mind, spending your time texting Claudia, excited to see her for the first time all day. You missed your sister coming in and shooting you a suspicious look over the small smile that was plastered on your face as you texted. If you realized it was there, you would’ve worked harder to hide it but it was so subconscious that you had no idea you were doing it.
“Somebody’s in a good mood today, what’s got you smiling at your phone?” Alexia greeted you with a smile and a small ruffle to your hair, something she knew you hated and was always doing anyway.
You scowled at her actions and immediately put your phone down, maybe a bit too quickly, causing your sister to instantly take note. “Nobody, I’m just in a good mood, I had a good morning with Mapi.” You gave her a small shrug and watched a smirk growing on her face.
“Hmmm, I just thought it was a cute dog video or something but since you said it’s nobody, I assume it must be a person then?”
You met her with an eye roll but you couldn’t deny the blush that was growing on your face, suddenly nervous you’d give yourself away. “Alexia, don’t you have something better to do?” you sighed.
She furrowed her eyebrows at you, seemingly intrigued by something else now. “What’s up with you, your voice sounds weird?” Her question was light-hearted enough but you instantly froze.
The one thing you didn’t account for- the way your tongue was a bit swollen and your speech was a bit off as you got used to the new piece of metal in your mouth. The comment from your sister made your eyes go wide. Your mind was racing to come up with a lie but simultaneously went completely blank. You opened your mouth to speak but then shut it when you came up with nothing, only incriminating yourself even further. It was clear to everyone in the room that you were hiding something.
You didn’t realize how many of your teammates had now arrived, including your girlfriend who came bouncing through the door at that exact moment. Her face lit up when she saw you but dropped the second she saw the look on yours. Clearly she realized something was going on between you and Alexia.
All the girls knew not to get involved in anything between you two, but it was obvious they were trying to hide their interest in the current situation. You saw the little side eyes and short glances your way as they tried to catch a word of what was going on.
You and Alexia were close; you had a great relationship. But it also wasn’t unusual for you to butt heads at times. She was fiercely protective over you and at times it pissed you off. Sometimes you wished she could be more like Alba and not worry so much about pushing you to be your best but just let you live your life instead. When the two of you got to fighting, everyone knew, there was no getting in the middle of it.
The second she saw your reaction to her previous question, Alexia’s soft smile turned to a cold glare, “Hermana, what are you hiding from me?”
“Nothing, Ale, it’s no big deal, I just-”
“Don’t lie to me! You know I don’t like when you lie and you’re still talking weird. Open your mouth.” Her voice was cold in a way that shook you to your bones. She was oddly calm, as if she could explode any second, and somehow that scared you more than any yelling match you had with her. It pissed you off that she’d do this with your teammates around but it still made you shrink just as much as it did when you were little kids.
Your sister took your silence as disobedience and shrunk in closer to you, “Open. Your. Mouth.”
Out of the corner of your eye you could see your teammates all frozen around you, watching closely to figure out what was happening between you. Mapi was worried, knowing exactly what you were keeping from her and also knowing that she was partially responsible for it. Claudia was worried in a different way. She was confused as to what it was you were keeping from your sister besides your relationship and knew how much this interaction would hurt your feelings.
You continued to shrink under Alexia’s gaze, finally submitting to her and opening your mouth, gently sticking out your tongue to show her your new addition. You watched her eyes go wide. Her mouth opened and shut a few times in an attempt to figure out what to say but still came up short. You wanted nothing more than to disappear at that moment.
“Ale-”
“Why would you do that?” she cut you off, her voice a harsh whisper, still scarily calm.
“I-”
“Why?! Why would you do that, (y/n)?!”
This was the moment she snapped.
Your sister was immediately standing over you, voice raised like you expected it to be from the beginning of the conversation. You sighed in annoyance, trying your absolute hardest not to roll your eyes at her reaction. Why couldn’t she just let you live your life? Instead she had to be yelling at you in front of all your teammates over a simple piercing.
When you glanced around the room, you saw Claudia staring at you with eyes as wide as saucers. You didn’t know it but your girlfriend was torn on how to feel right now. The second she saw your tongue piercing, she could hardly hold back a smile. Her mind instantly went to how good it looked and started wandering to some of the other benefits she could see coming from that piercing. But her excitement and attraction to you was quickly overshadowed by protectiveness for you. She knew she couldn’t step in- the last thing you needed was for Alexia to learn about your relationship and she knew you could handle yourself. But gosh it was hard to just sit and watch you shrink under your sister.
Mapi was chewing on her bottom lip nervously. She was the one person who could sometimes step in and diffuse your arguments but she wasn’t sure if it was a good idea or not, especially with her involvement in the situation.
Seeing your teammates' reactions gave you some level of courage, lighting a spark in you to stand up for yourself. “Alexia! Why can’t you understand that I’m an adult and can make my own decisions?”
“Because your decisions are stupid! What if it gets ripped out during a match, huh? Then what? Or when you break your teeth on it? Just so you can feel cool or something? Is that it?”
“It’s not your decision! It shouldn’t matter what I do! It doesn’t matter to you when I do anything else and now when you don’t like it suddenly you have a problem?! You don’t get to do that, it’s not fair to me!”
“Don’t pretend I don’t care about you! Do you realize how much I do for you?”
That really set you off. You were always telling her how grateful you were for everything she did for you throughout your life and it wasn’t fair for her to hold that over your head.
You raised your voice even further, basically screaming at your sister in the middle of the locker room, “This isn’t about you for once Alexia! I made this choice for myself! It has nothing to do with you and I don’t need your opinion on it. It’s ridiculous that you’re so upset over something this small. I have nothing left to say to you, if you don’t get it by this point, that’s your fault, not mine.” At this, you stormed out of the locker room, overflowing with anger towards your sister but also embarrassed that your whole team had just watched that argument.
You didn’t have a plan as to where you were going after leaving the locker room, you just needed space from your sister. The two of you were both stubborn and it wasn’t unusual for it to bubble up like this, you just needed space. As soon as you had walked out, Mapi started tearing into the captain, trying to get her to understand where you were coming from.
While the older women yelled at each other, Claudia half-heartedly continued getting ready for training. She was trying to figure out how to react or if you’d even want her to follow you. She wanted to, for sure. She wanted nothing more than to wrap you in her arms and make sure you were okay. But she wasn’t sure you’d want to risk your secret getting out, especially when Alexia was already mad at you.
The brunette gave it a few minutes, feeling like it was an acceptable amount of time for her to leave the room without it being obvious she was following you. She wandered the hallways some, not expecting to stumble into you sitting on the floor, tucked away next to some random vending machines, virtually out of sight from people walking the main corridor.
“Do you want love right now or do you want some space?” Claudia squatted down next to you for a moment in an attempt to give you some room in case you didn’t want to see her. Normally she’d want nothing more than to engulf you in a hug but with the secret of your relationship looming and you still being in a public place, she didn’t want to overstep. She was also more hesitant knowing that arguments with your sister were sometimes a touchy subject.
You raised your head to look at her from where it was resting against your knees when you heard the familiar voice. “I don’t know. I’m fine,” you shrugged, “I just needed to get away from her for a minute.”
Claudia responded with a nod and sat down next to you, close enough you could lean into her if you wanted but not too close that it’d be suspicious if anyone walked by. “I get it. I can always just listen if you want to rant about it or anything.”
It was killing her not to ask about your piercing. She wanted almost nothing more than to get a good look at the piece of metal in your mouth, but she knew it wasn’t the time to ask.
“Thank you, Clau.” You leaned your head on her shoulder, just grateful for her calming presence next to you, especially as she rested her hand on top of yours. “It’s just frustrating, but I know she means well.”
Your girlfriend gave your hand a reassuring squeeze, “she does, but it still doesn’t make it any less frustrating.”
Alexia’s reaction to your piercing was exactly the reason you hadn’t told her about your relationship. Everyone knew she just wanted to protect you but she seemed to forget you were your own person with your own life. The captain had a hard time loosening her reins on you and that was exactly what caused you to push against her at times.
When she felt like she’d given you an appropriate amount of time to calm down, Claudia finally spoke up, deciding she couldn’t hold it in any longer. The brunette’s voice was tentative, much more than it ever was, still not sure if she should bring it up yet. “So do I get to see what made her freak out so bad?” It was clear she was trying to hide her excitement and suppress a smirk that continued to grow.
You gave her a light chuckle at how quickly she could pull you from your annoyance and bring you back to the excitement you’d had earlier. “Clau, you can’t do anything crazy when I show you, we're still in public remember?”
You laughed at the way she nodded quickly, eager like a little kid awaiting a treat. When you stuck out your tongue to show her the new addition, Claudia’s jaw just about hit the floor. She had seen a glimpse of it when you showed your sister but now that she could really see it up close, she was blown away.
“Ay dios mio, you’re so fucking hot, babe,” she groaned as she leaned into you, looking for any sort of physical contact, but you didn’t give her much, still just keeping a hold of her hand as you giggled at her reaction.
“Clau, we can’t do this, you know that. Someone might see us.” You could both tell your words were tentative, not quite fully convinced yourself as you both leaned into each other further.
“Mmmm I know but look at you. How is my girlfriend more badass than me?” She pressed some light kisses to the side of your neck, doing her best to be careful but ultimately failing. “I don’t know how I’m supposed to go the rest of the day without kissing you, knowing that’s in your mouth.” She mumbled into your shoulder, sure to keep her voice down in case anyone came looking for the two of you.
“Well I have even worse news then,” this was the part you were a lot less excited about. “I’m not supposed to be doing any kissing for a few weeks while it heals.”
“NOooo!” Her whining was much louder than she had been just moments before, throwing her head back dramatically.
You gave her shoulder a light smack but still just smiled at her reaction, “Claudia, be quiet someone could hear you, you have to calm down.”
“Calm? You want me to be calm right now? How am I supposed to go that long without kisses?” she stuck out her bottom lip to pout at you, something she did all the time.
“You can still kiss me though, just not on the lips! And I think we can both agree that it’ll be worth it in the end, yes?”
Your girlfriend’s pout had been replaced with a smirk as she just hummed in response and buried her face in your neck, leaving open mouthed kisses anywhere she could reach. You both knew you shouldn’t let her continue but didn’t have the willpower to stop. At some point during her kisses, she had turned to face you better, reaching one hand to land on your waist and pull you closer, the other grabbing at your thigh.
“Clau, we can’t- we can’t do this.” you struggled to get your words out, suddenly caught up in her actions.
“Hmmm, are you gonna stop me though?” you felt her fingernails dig into your thigh as her hand ran dangerously higher.
“No,” you whispered breathlessly as her hand continued to move up, “But if we get caught I’m blaming you.”
And as if on cue, you were suddenly being yelled at. “Dios mío, habláis en serio?!” The two of you immediately pushed away from each other, scattering as far away as you could when you heard the voice.
When you looked up, you were relieved to see that it was only Mapi and let out a breath you didn’t realize you had been holding, flinching as she started to scold you.
“What is wrong with you? You’re at training! You’re just lucky it’s me who found you and not your sister! I can’t even imagine what she would have done. If you’re gonna pull shit like this, you need to tell her about you two, cause she can’t accidentally stumble into whatever that was.” She grabbed you by the arm to pull you up from the ground, both you and Claudia looking down sheepishly.
The older woman held you in front of her, pressing a finger into your chest, “you are going to go back to that locker room and we are going to tell everyone I found you calming down after your argument with Alexia and we just happened to run into Pina in the hallway. And you both,” now she pulled your girlfriend up next to you, “are going to hope to God that you didn’t leave any marks on her neck, because I can only defend you so much. Understand?”
Neither of you could make eye contact yet, still scared of how serious Mapi had become, nodding your heads rapidly at her statement. “And Pina, you keep your hands to yourself.”
“Si, si, I will, I promise.”
“Good,” she appeared to be satisfied by your answers and started pushing you both back towards the locker room. “Now I’m gonna try to erase that image from my mind so I don’t throw up.”
You did your best to suppress a smirk at Mapi’s reaction and tried to sneak a look at your girlfriend who was walking along next to you. The two of you locked eyes for a brief moment but looked away quickly to make sure you wouldn’t giggle at you both having the same thought.
“Hey! I saw that look! Keep walking!” This time you could barely keep it together at Mapi’s feigned seriousness, while the three of you continued back to the locker room, your secret still safely between the three of you and Vicky, just praying it would stay that way.
Not sure how I feel about this one, let me know! Planned to do more in this universe but now can't quite decide, would love some ideas if you want more of it, I know not everyone loves the Pina ones as much.
Masterlist
#barcelona femeni#barca femeni#fcb femeni imagine#Claudia Pina#claudia pina imagine#claudia pina x reader#alexia putellas x reader#alexia putellas imagine#alexia putellas#woso#woso imagines#woso one shot#woso x reader#woso imagine#espwnt#espwnt x reader#wosoreading24/7#wosoreadingclaudia
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SDV car headcannons
[this gets pretty specific because i've had way too much time to think about it]
1. Harvey
Harvey drives an old, beat-up red Ford Ranger. It's a standard transmission, and the clutch is super finicky, so when he tries to drive other cars, he has a bad habit of shoving in the clutch too hard (or if it's an automatic, slamming on the break, thinking it's the clutch). It was a gift from his parents when he started med school. It was old when they bought it, but Harvey does his best to maintain it. He's not a "truck guy," but he changes his own oil and keeps it running well. He would like to buy a Subaru because "they're very safe cars," but he doesn't use his truck a lot as it is, so he doesn't see a need to get a new car.
2. Leah
Leah drives a silver Subaru Baja. You can not convince me otherwise. She views cars as a necessary evil. It wasn't really all that useful in the city, but she's glad to have it now that she lives in Pelican town. It's well-loved, and it's pretty beat-up, but Leah says it works fine for what she needs it for.
3. Shane
He drives a 1999 Ford Taurus in that weird pinky-gold color. It smells like pizza and pepper poppers, and there are feathers in the backseat. Sometimes, he'll let Jas sit on his lap in the driver's seat and let her steer while he works the pedals. Mayor Lewis caught them once and was not happy. Shane does it anyway because it makes Jas happy.
4. Sebastian
He drives a motorcycle, lol. I admittedly do not know very much about motorcycles, but it looks like a blue Kawasaki Vulcan to me, but idk. (If you know more about motorcycles, feel free to give your two cents)
5. Sam
Sam does not have his own car, but he frequently borrows the family van. It's a silver 2003 Honda Oddysey. The van lands him with driver duty for the band and their equipment.
6. Elliott
Elliott disagrees with cars ideologically. He had a grey 2004 Mitsubishi Outlander that he inherited from his aunt. He sold it before he moved to Pelican town. He thinks it's more romantic to walk everywhere, but if you ask him why he walks everywhere, he'll say, "Because of the environment."
7. Penny
Penny doesn't drive. Pam tried a million times to teach her, but Penny just doesn't want to. She doesn't trust herself with such heavy machinery.
8. Maru
Maru does not have a car but will borrow Robin's work truck if she needs to. Sebastian definitely taught her how to ride a motorcycle. One of her many ongoing projects is a custom bike for Sebastian. Demetrius was very insistant that she learned to drive stick.
9. Abigail
Abigail does not know how to drive. Pierre was too busy, and Caroline never felt the need to teach her. She's happy to explore by foot, so it doesn't really bother her.
10 & 11. Emily & Haley
Their parents bought them a 2012 light green Toyota Prius to share. Haley thinks it's cute and Emily likes that it's a hybrid. Haley says eventually she might buy a blue Volkswagen Bug.
12. Alex
Alex doesn't drive and it's a sore subject for him. Don't bring it up. He might end up crying. He's always said that he would want a green Dodge Charger as soon as he learns to drive.
I have more headcannons about the other characters, so I may put them in another post
#sdv headcanons#sdv#stardew#stardew valley#sdv harvey#sdv leah#sdv shane#sdv sam#sdv elliott#sdv penny#sdv maru#sdv sebastian#sdv haley#sdv emily#sdv alex#sdv abigail#why was i thinking about this? idk man#many thanks to my friend for helping out with some of these
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I know I don’t have to do this, but I just want to say how much I appreciate everyone who regularly stops by my blog or interacts with my posts.
I know I don’t have to do this either, but I also want to say that I love when people on here actually talk to each other and comment instead of just staying in their own little bubble. I think we need more of that to get back to a fandom culture that isn’t driven by binary thinking, metrics, weird ideas of BNFdom/fandom hierarchies and seeing everything as “content” we consume for a quick fix. It’s the human element that makes fandom worthwhile.
And I know that I have to do the next thing least of all, but I also want to apologise to everyone I overlook by accident, or whom I don’t manage to get back to. My blog has really exploded over the past year, which was very unexpected, and I get hundreds of notes every day (439 notifs on old and new posts were waiting for me when I checked in this morning, and that’s only the ones that came in while I was sleeping). I don’t want to switch off notifs completely because I want to know what’s going on and interact, and I try to stay on top of it all. But I do this in my spare time like most of us, write and curate in batches to feed my queue and otherwise only keep an eye on personal interactions like messages, asks, people who tagged me. There are comments and reblogs with commentary I would often love to get back to, but I don’t always manage, plus I know some stuff simply slips through. And I sometimes feel bad about it because as one might have gathered from the second paragraph, the connection is what really matters to me.
So if I ever forget or don’t manage to get back to you, it’s nothing personal. It’s just that I also work and have a family.
So thanks again, and lots of love to everyone 🖤
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dead poets?? cooking?? headcanons? (is this anything)
charlie can make a solid few meals and hes not bad at cooking but hes a fiend for not washing up after himself and the mountain of dirty dishes he leaves behind annoys everyone so much that they just let him off cooking duties indefinitely (was it his plan all along? whose to say)
todd can cook but he lacks any confidence in his ability so the whole process is a big headache. he follows the recipe and measurements to a t, and he HATES the “pinch of” “good amount” measurements like PLEASE GIVE IT TO HIM IN NUMBERS PLEASE
knox can cook pretty well and he wears those dumb kiss the chef aprons all the time. he definitely spent time when he was smaller cooking with his mom in the kitchen and when he whips out those family recipes?! OMNOMNOM SO GOOD!!
neil can cook and he generally really likes it! he just enjoys caring for people, hes up for trying to make any new dish and hes the exact cook that stresses todd out so bad he measures ingredients with what feels right and just goes from there. he feels the quantities in his soul. needs someone in the kitchen with him so they can have a yap, (usually todd) but sometimes he’ll get so caught up in a conversation that he’ll forget about something that he has on and burn it (oops)
pittsie is great at cooking but he has NOBODY IN THE KITCHEN W HIM! chef at WORK!! i feel he gets up p early aswell so if ur in the kitchen in the morning and he’s there you might luck into some divine scrambled eggs. hes a humble chef everyone loves when he cooks and hes always like “yeah yeah no problem” but hes secretly so delighted. hes also so anti store bought things that are really easy to make like guacamole. he goes on RANTS because seriously it takes three minutes to make a decent guac and ur buying this?!? for like double the price and half the goodness? are u INSANE? (charlie is a repeat offender)
meeks can cook alright! he has like three dishes that he throws on and theyre nothing special but hey its easy and nice. fiend for a one pot dish he despises dishwashing like god forbid he has to wash one extra pot. he buys those precut onions and stuff because he’s usually like oh shit i have to make dinner! and then throws it on within ten minutes (plus having to wash another knife and CHOPPING BOARD?!?)
cam is a little horrendous at cooking bless him. he just makes like smeh food. nothing wrong about it. but theres nothing RIGHT about it either. he makes up for it in his crazily fantastic baking skills. BUT HE NEVER BAKES bc its effort and everyone is always begging him to put on cookies or something bc theyre always heavenly he just KNOWS how to do it right. hes always a little like FINE HERE TAKE THEM GEEZ but you know hes chuffed with his skills, won several baking competitions when he was smaller.
extra bits:
todd anxiously stares at everyone when theyre eating any food hes made to make sure they actually like it and arent just being nice because they dont HAVE to eat it he doesnt mind seriously oh god its horrible isnt it why didn’t anyone just tell me im so sor-
charlie is obsessed w camerons baking and it KILLS HIM to ask cam to bake something but sometimes u have to set aside ur pride
meeks and pitts early risers real. i feel todd and cam are also up early sometimes
knox loves the idea of having fresh herbs but hes bad at keeping plants so its mostly charlie tending them, he has experience from being around his familys gardener when he was small
neil is go to for what something needs more of. he has a good sense of what a dish is missing and pitts will tolerate him helping with his cooking, plus neil is a great sous chef he’s so eager let him help please
they all try to eat together as often as possible, like a mini society meeting every time. and if they cant all eat together its rare that anyone will eat alone, usually one of em will pop their heads round a door and ask if anyone else is hungry and together they all keep eachother well :)
#dead poets society#dps#neil perry#dead poets society headcanons#headcanons#cooking#todd anderson#steven meeks#gerard pitts#richard cameron#knox overstreet#charlie dalton#nuwanda#dead poets#anderperry#am i just a dps hc blog. maybe.
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I've seen referenced several times a paraphrased quote attributed both to DBB and to Jen Corbett of Bad Batch that the show's creators ultimately decided to kill off Tech because they couldn't make season 3 work otherwise.
Hmm.
I rarely read interviews from creators about a storyline because I prefer to let the story tell itself and let the interpretations come as they will based on what the narrative itself presents. But in this case I looked up the quotes/interview simply because I had to know how in the blazes they came to the conclusion that a storyline HAD to involve Tech (or any Bad Batch member, for that matter) dying.
I have... thoughts. Lots of thoughts. RESPECTFUL thoughts, because I truly do think the writers/directors of this show are absolutely BRILLIANT (which is partly why I had such a difficult time during season 3 and it has taken quite a bit of reflection to come to terms with it... But I needed to come to terms with it because I love it so much I want to enjoy all of it in the future!) But fair warning: if you prefer not to read a post if the post's author isn't 100% in agreement with the show's creative choices, then this might not be the post for you.
Reference: https://www.starwars.com/news/brad-rau-jennifer-corbett-the-bad-batch-season-3-interview
Quote #1: “When we first started this show, we had hoped that we could get three seasons to tell this story," executive producer and head writer Jennifer Corbett tells StarWars.com. "We kicked Season 1 off with Order 66 and the team trying to figure out where they fit in the galaxy. We knew Season 2 was going to be a little bit darker, because we knew that the team was going to lose in some way. As the season progressed, it became clear that the way for them to lose is to essentially have the team be fractured. That's what happens when we lose Tech, and then also with Omega being taken by the Empire.”
I find the choice of words here - particularly "fracture" and "lose" - to be interesting. This is the quote that made me realize my original (starting in season 1) hopes for where the themes of the show would conclude had apparently never been in line with what the show was aiming for. The show's definition of the team "fracturing" and "los[ing] in some way" apparently had to include death and only came in the season 2 finale; whereas I considered the team to be "fractured" within the first 10 minutes of the pilot episode - as soon as Order 66 came through and Crosshair was susceptible to the inhibitor chip, the team was broken. And they weren't ever truly whole in the first place, given that Order 66 occurs before they meet Omega. For me, the team lost big time as soon as the show started.
So, while I went through the entire show (yes, I kept hoping Tech would come back in season 3) hoping the themes of family and never leaving family behind would conclude in at least one instance of this little clone family being whole and truly united again - considering the fact that they were broken since "Aftermath" - I realize now this hope was nigh impossible to fulfill given that the show didn't consider the team fractured upon Crosshair's departure and therefore felt the need to not only break it apart further, but break it permanently.
Quote #2: “There were a lot of conversations that went into that [killing off Tech], and we even tried to talk ourselves out of it many times, because he's such an important character to the show, to all of us and the crew, and we know he is important to the fans,” Corbett says. “But what we're showing in Season 2 is that the galaxy has changed and the Empire is now very powerful in the early years. So we were trying to be logical in the sense that, the Batch keeps putting themselves in these positions and, ultimately, there has to be a time when they do lose."
I can respect this decision, though (as I stated above), the entire show pretty much involves the Bad Batch losing in one way or another and personally I don't care for the idea that the only real way a team can lose (read: "stakes") is if death is involved. But that's just me, and I can get over this personal hang up.
Quote #3: Throughout, they’ll feel the loss of their brother. “It affected a lot of the logistics,” Brad Rau, executive producer, says. “The very mathematical logistics of how we normally would have the team operate was massively different without Tech there. But emotionally, the most important part, the way that the loss of Tech affected Omega, Hunter, Wrecker, Echo, and Crosshair, even throughout the whole season was, I wouldn't say heavier than we expected, but was definitely very heavy.”
I'm gonna be blunt: when first watching season 3, I felt the emotional impact of the loss of Tech for most of the squad was sorely lacking, and this is the main reason why I kept hoping right up through the epilogue that Tech would somehow show up.
Every. Single. Allusion. To. Tech in season 3 hit like a ton of bricks right to the gut. @eriexplosion described it extremely well (paraphrasing) as picking at a wound and not letting it fully heal. After some reflection following the series finale, I came to the conclusion that this might be because the Tech mentions were meant to show how the Batch - Crosshair in particular - were still feeling about the loss, and (in hindsight) it seemed that Crosshair felt deep guilt and pain over Tech's death all the way through season 3. (Heck, I now see Crosshair having a moment to honor Mayday early on but never truly honoring Tech as yet another indication that, while Crosshair felt grief over Mayday, he must have felt even deeper grief compounded with guilt and remorse over Tech that led to him essentially avoiding the subject.) So I guess it turns out my conclusion fits the original intention of the creators.
Thing is, since we don't ever see any actual catharsis or healing for any of the Bad Batch members (Omega is the closest we get to it, and even that's a stretch), this aspect of the show does NOT land well for me - really, many times during season 3 it came across that the only real impact Tech's absence had on the team as a whole was that Hunter had to deal with datapads and decryption was harder. (There have been fan comments that if Tech had been around in season 3, the entire storyline would have been wrapped up in two episodes (and I actually rather agree with this) - but this headcanon/focus still only emphasizes Tech's role/function on the team, not his impact as a brother.)
Again, upon reflection I am quite willing to give the narrative the benefit of the doubt and say the excruciating emotional pain inflicted with every Tech mention was intended to show the impact of the loss on his family; but it was SO difficult to watch season 3 when this wasn't made clear from the get-go. And given that (based on reddit discussions I've seen) half the audience seemed to think the Bad Batch had long since moved on because "stoic soldiers/they have other priorities" while the other half thought the Bad Batch hadn't moved on and were avoiding the subject, I truly do think this ended up being a murky point - and it shouldn't have been.
This is where we get to the hill I will die on and my ONLY major criticism of the show: if Tech "had" to die and stay dead, there should have, at bare minimum, been a scene - even if it came at the end of the finale - where Tech's entire family finally had a chance to meaningfully acknowledge and honor Tech, even if it was brief such as Crosshair had with Mayday. If there had been any moment before the finale for any of Tech's brothers to honor and/or memorialize him, the contrast between that cathartic moment versus how the topic had been treated before/by his other siblings would have been more than adequate to cement early on the idea that the squad was still feeling the loss of Tech as an individual and a brother, thereby clarifying the show's intentions. And a moment for Tech's ENTIRE family (and friends) to honor him, even if it came at the end of the finale, would have closed out the dangling plot thread of Crosshair still feeling guilt and grief over Tech.
Anyway, while this interview didn't much change my own conclusions of how season 3 played out and what could have been done better, I am glad I read it since it provided at least a modicum of clarity as to what the show's intentions actually were - even if those intentions didn't always clearly come through in the narrative.
#the bad batch#star wars the bad batch#tbb meta analysis#maybe a pinch of salt?#though saltiness truly isn't my intention in writing out this post#just organizing my thoughts#it's been a lot to process#and i'm still processing it#about to start a full rewatch of the show#wish me luck#and prepare to be inundated with a TON of random musings and analyses#tbb spoilers#tbb season 3
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i don’t talk about bridgerton on here but just to clarify. i will not be having ANY eloise hate on this account. i will bite.
#eloise bridgerton they could never make me hate you!!#addressing the normal talking points one by one to get them sorted:#- no i don’t care that eloise called pen some names after the discovery. she was devastated and furious.#she can apologise in the future but in the moment of course she said it#- yes pen did write about eloise as a way to save her but that doesn’t mean it hasn’t possibly ruined eloise’s life#- similarly: eloise isn’t (just) angry that she was written about. daphne also went through whistledown and it very much terrified her#so have many other women including marina#- eloise is betrayed because she told pen everything and is realising pen told her nothing#(and she’s probably thinking about any secrets she might have said to her best friend that could now be used against the ton and her family)#- as claudio said: being regency gossip girl isnt a moral girlboss thing its deeply harmful tbh#- pen did have reasons to become whistledown! that doesn’t mean that she’s innocent or right!#- eloise isnt now friends with cressida to spite pen lmao she’s alone and scared and cressida was the last person who offered her friendship#she has no idea how to manage society by herself#(and she needs someone to improve the reputation of her and her family)#- im also convinced she has other ulterior motives for befriending cressida. like she’s keeping an eye on her or smth#- eloise didn’t just ignore anything pen said and that’s why she only just figured it out. pen deliberately didn’t speak like lw to hide it#the moment she did eloise was like huh that’s weird she doesn’t normally talk like that. and THATS when she figured it out#- eloise just found out her best friend has betrayed her and been hiding this massive secret#but she hasn’t told anyone. not even her own family. im not hearing out any accusations of HER of being disloyal#- also pen clearly wasn’t that upset at writing about eloise bc the moment eloise and colin upset her she went straight back to it lmao#side note but no i don’t think the queen is going to name her the ‘emerald’ or anything because she’s suddenly in the spotlight#eloise is tbh the only debutante she actually consistently recognised (for good or bad)#a new dress is not going to be interesting for charlotte to change her whole tradition#tl;dr i love eloise and i will die on this hill#eloise bridgerton#bridgerton
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Howdy peepers, I've been feeling pretty down lately but I think I'm on the right path to snap out of it!
See yall on monday hopefully
#to be honest recent political news got me anxious and just.. disheartened#not gonna lie rather depressed#but i guess that's a normal reaction#god it's just so awful#change of subject- i might be a bit burned out too because of all the stressing i subjected myself to this month#but worries be damned my grades ain't overall half bad#THO you just can't catch a break when it comes to college it seems#like we have to sign up for our classes on this website#based on your major obviously#and some people just don't pick the right classes hhhhh#and you see the waiting list for the class you need to sign up to is full because the goofs don't know what their course code is#which is weird like 😭 maybe there's a GOOD reason why your group mates' names aren't on the class list#because you didn't pick the right one aaaaaa#get outta here fella pleaaase#also on an unrelated note: it turns out i have a mild case of rosacea#it's not that suprising skin conditions run in the family#my mom's side of family at least#like my grandpa had rosacea. my mom has it too. my sister had acne (not anymore tho). my older brother too has something going on#i just thought i got lucky and inherited my dad's skin but guess not 💀#funniest thing is that almost everything makes rosacea act up#heat? cold? spicy food? stress? exercise? stress? alcohol? GODDAMN SUNLIGHT???#you name it#so yeahh not pleasant#if it won't get better mom will make an appointment with a dermatologist#uhh.. i guess that's all i wanted to say#for now at least#miss you guys hope all of you have been doing well :'>#random squeak
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GAAHAHHHHH
#venting in the tags#maybe its just past darkness and the Bad Thoughts which i shouldnt listen to are clouding my brain too much#but i feel so fucking weird and inadequate over everything rn#im unable to work on drawings as i usually would have and its kinda plaguing everything which it should like yeah i love drawing but#i cant let just one aspect of me ruin everything. right? the fact that i havent been able to draw as well as i usually can should make me#feel sick to the stomach and unsure about everything i do but it happening and i hate it.#plus i got the ipad id saved up from the comms to buy and its fun and nice and all and maybe i just need more practice with it but i feel#like im not able to draw on it even more? and i spent the whole day trying to get used to it but its just not as good?? and then when i went#back to the no screen wacom i couldnt get a hang of it becuase idek its just not happening#and also the fucking art block wants me dead i swear i want to draw so bad and i have so many ideas but the moment i start anything its just#crumbles down into nothingness and i hate everything i do and gods fuck i want to cry but i can because there are people at home and#usually im a big 'crybaby' when im at home but i dont fucjing wanna be like that anymore like i can handly my shit myself im fine.#i dont need to just fuckinf cry abiut it becuase thats not gonna fox anything but also i feel like crying might just make me feel better#but then id have to hear shit from my family and i know theyre just teasing in a /pos way but i dont wanna fucking deal with that#plus my brother iust talking to him os annoying sometimes like he talks about things so condescendingly and fucking hel dude shut#the fuck up i dont need you telling me that my art is something people can 'just do' and the fact that i was able to get the ipad#'basically for free since i got that money from the little drawings i make' as if they dont fucking mean anything to you like#shut the fucking fuck up dude i worked hard on those and even though i dont like my own shit sometimes i still fucking work hard on those#fuck you you bitch#i think a lot of things are just piling up and i need to sleep#tomorrow will be a new dawn and a fresh start and maybe ill hate myself less#ps. note to anyone reading the tags#im fine i just needed to yell out and express my frustration a bit. some sleep will help surely.
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happy new years to myself. and my weird online friends and mutuals
#this past December has been hell for me honestly.#i hope 2024 isnt as bad#ugh hold on i just need to recap this past year in the tags#the start of 2023 sucked a lot for me. i almost killed myself!!!#april-october was pretty good. i had some weird spark of motivation in terms of art all that time and it didnt even break once#and then november-december sucked too because of a falling out with certain friends and then december has been a dystopian nightmare and#family related problems going on too#honestly the whole year has had a lot of ups and downs To Be Honest#im sure 2024 isnt going to be any better but heres to hoping i guess#another edit to the thing about the friends falling out. they recently invited me back to the “”“Group Chat”“” for new year eve and#ive realized that just being around those people is so mind numbingly absurd#sometimes i realize that I AM NOT OBLIGATED TO BE AROUND PEOPLE I DO NOT LIKE FOR THE BENEFIT OF MAINTAINING FRIENDSHIPS.#like i should have realized this long ago that. some people you might be friends with/were friends with are just bad and annoying people!#i am not obligated to talk to stay with them for whatever reason they want me there for#UGH please you are not obligated to read this and TBH i should have just posted this to my alt
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What if I just. Stopped caring about anything for a while.
#personal#the idea of watching the new CR is a misery#the idea of never getting PG back is a misery#the depression pit is so deep and all my comfort media is suddenly the opposite of comforting#cr spoilers#kinda. I guess. if you extrapolate#anyway September has sucked so much ass right down to me thinking my fucking Thai place had permanently closed#(in theory it’s just closed for a family emergency but woof.)#the sheer number of ‘intellectually I know this is inconsequential in a real-world way but also#‘I’m so broken it’s taken what little I have left to give’ losses of this month#is. are. is. too many. I am so tired. this is temporary but it’s also bad#also like. everything that is bad is also in limbo? like ‘your show MIGHT get picked up. but who can say. your character MIGHT come back.#‘but maybe not. you MIGHT find a job soon. or you could be unemployed for months more. your wife’s job MIGHT be stable. or.’#I can’t. I can’t with the limbo bullshit.#I need some of this stuff to start shaking out for the positive because all this waiting game ‘whoooo knoooows’ crap is killing me
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My uncanny ability to accidentally specifically predict bad things now means that for the second time, a supervisor has told me to stop making predictions while at work since they keep coming true.
This has happened in two different jobs in two different fields now. Yay.
#I'm psychic#legit my old desk job my supervisor was like 'Hope you really have to stop making predictions.'#and even one of my old coworkers was like 'you know when i first started i thought you were joking... but it really is... uncanny'#because i could basically summon people at that job to either show up or call me whenever i said 'ugh i need to speak to so and so'#or worse if i said 'i don't want to speak to so and so' either way the exact person would walk in or call me minutes after i said it.#and now at this new job i jinxed something bad happening and it was pretty bad. not like ruin the show bad. but bad.#and then the next day i was joking that i had accidentally jinxed it and then i started to say something else#and i was like 'wait no let me not say that out loud' and my supervisor was like 'yes please don't say it.'#and a coworker was like 'Hope yeah shut up. don't do it.' so yeah. i gotta stop speaking things into existence.#like my first day at this job i was walking with a coworker after we ran an errand and we walked by his friend's workplace#and he was like 'i always walk by here and never see her.' and i was about to say 'maybe today is the day'#but all i could say was 'may-' and his friend came running out the door to say hi because they finally overlapped.#then i was like 'that's so weird because i was going to say that today might be the day it finally happens then it did.'#and the next day he told me that she later said to him 'it was weird. i had a feeling i needed to look outside. and there you were'#and i was like 'look this is a joke but really half a joke. i'm somewhat psychic so that doesn't shock me.'#is predicting things a symptom of my anxiety? yes. am i also legitimately somewhat psychic? possibly.#i mean i had a great-great aunt who was psychic. and my family on my mom's side (with the aunt) has weird coincidences.#my grandma who just passed had the ability to call my landline the MOMENT i walked into my apartment. without fail.#and my mom and brother many times have both texted me the same question unprompted without speaking to each other.#so while i joke that i'm psychic. it's honestly half a joke. because there are some WEIRD things on this side of the family.#and it definitely manifests in me too. so much so that i've been told to stop doing it.
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So I’ve been enjoying the Disney vs. DeSantis memes as much as anyone, but like. I do feel like a lot of people who had normal childhoods are missing some context to all this.
I was raised in the Bible Belt in a fairly fundie environment. My parents were reasonably cool about some things, compared to the rest of my family, but they certainly had their issues. But they did let me watch Disney movies, which turned out to be a point of major contention between them and my other relatives.
See, I think some people think this weird fight between Disney and fundies is new. It is very not new. I know that Disney’s attempts at inclusion in their media have been the source of a lot of mockery, but what a lot of people don’t understand is that as far as actual company policy goes, Disney has actually been an industry leader for queer rights. They’ve had policies assuring equal healthcare and partner benefits for queer employees since the early 90s.
I’m not sure how many people reading this right now remember the early 90s, but that was very much not industry standard. It was a big deal when Disney announced that non-married queer partners would be getting the same benefits as the married heterosexual ones.
Like — it went further than just saying that any unmarried partners would be eligible for spousal benefits. It straight-up said that non-same-sex partners would still need to be married to receive spousal benefits, but because same-sex partners couldn’t do that, proof that they lived together as an established couple would be enough.
In other words, it put long-term same-sex partners on a higher level than opposite-sex partners who just weren’t married yet. It put them on the exact same level as heterosexual married partners.
They weren’t the first company ever to do this, but they were super early. And they were certainly the first mainstream “family-friendly” company to do it.
Conservatives lost their damn minds.
Protests, boycotts, sermons, the whole nine yards. I can’t tell you how many books about the evils of Disney my grandmother tried to get my parents to read when I was a kid.
When we later moved to Florida, I realized just how many queer people work at Disney — because historically speaking, it’s been a company that has guaranteed them safety, non-discrimination, and equal rights. That’s when I became aware of their unofficial “Gay Days” and how Christians would show up from all over the country to protest them every year. Apparently my grandmother had been upset about these days for years, but my parents had just kind of ignored her.
Out of curiosity, I ended up reading one of the books my grandmother kept leaving at our house. And friends — it’s amazing how similar that (terrible, poorly written) rhetoric was to what people are saying these days. Disney hires gay pedophiles who want to abuse your children. Disney is trying to normalize Satanism in our beautiful, Christian America.
Just tons of conspiracy theories in there that ranged from “a few bad things happened that weren’t actually Disney’s fault, but they did happen” to “Pocahontas is an evil movie, not because it distorts history and misrepresents indigenous life, but because it might teach children respect for nature. Which, as we all know, would cause them all to become Wiccans who believe in climate change.”
Like — please, take it from someone who knows. This weird fight between fundies and Disney is not new. This is not Disney’s first (gay) rodeo. These people have always believed that Disney is full of evil gays who are trying to groom and sexually abuse children.
The main difference now is that these beliefs are becoming mainstream. It’s not just conservative pastors who are talking about this. It’s not just church groups showing up to boycott Gay Day. Disney is starting to (reluctantly) say the quiet part out loud, and so are the Republicans. Disney is publicly supporting queer rights and announcing company-supported queer events and the Republican Party is publicly calling them pedophiles and enacting politically driven revenge.
This is important, because while this fight has always been important in the history of queer rights, it is now being magnified. The precedent that a fight like this could set is staggering. For better or for worse, we live in a corporation-driven country. I don’t like it any more than you do, and I’m not about to defend most of Disney’s business practices. But we do live in a nation where rights are largely tied to corporate approval, and the fact that we might be entering an age where even the most powerful corporations in the country are being banned from speaking out in favor of rights for marginalized people… that’s genuinely scary.
Like… I’ll just ask you this. Where do you think we’d be now, in 2023, if Disney had been prevented from promising its employees equal benefits in 1994? That was almost thirty years ago, and look how far things have come. When I looked up news articles for this post from that era, even then journalists, activists, and fundie church leaders were all talking about how a company of Disney’s prominence throwing their weight behind this movement could lead to the normalization of equal protections in this country.
The idea of it scared and thrilled people in equal parts even then. It still scares and thrills them now.
I keep seeing people say “I need them both to lose!” and I get it, I do. Disney has for sure done a lot of shit over the years. But I am begging you as a queer exvangelical to understand that no. You need Disney to win. You need Disney to wipe the fucking floor with these people.
Right now, this isn’t just a fight between a giant corporation and Ron DeSantis. This is a fight about the right of corporations to support marginalized groups. It’s a fight that ensures that companies like Disney still can offer benefits that a discriminatory government does not provide. It ensures that businesses much smaller than Disney can support activism.
Hell, it ensures that you can support activism.
The fight between weird Christian conspiracy theorists and Disney is not new, because the fight to prevent any tiny victory for marginalized groups is not new. The fight against the normalization of othered groups is not new.
That’s what they’re most afraid of. That each incremental victory will start to make marginalized groups feel safer, that each incremental victory will start to turn the tide of public opinion, that each incremental victory will eventually lead to sweeping law reform.
They’re afraid that they won’t be able to legally discriminate against us anymore.
So guys! Please. This fight, while hilarious, is also so fucking important. I am begging you to understand how old this fight is. These people always play the long game. They did it with Roe and they’re doing it with Disney.
We have! To keep! Pushing back!
#disney#ron desantis#gay rights#lgbt#queer#lgbt history#queer history#homophobia#florida#us politics#religious fundamentalism#christianity#long post#god that should cover all the pertinent tags and content warnings phew
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#do you ever get consumed by a big ass wave of depression to the point that you can't breathe or talk to anyone anymore#im just here thinking like. wow there's so much to choose from to be sad about#my academic situation. family situations. the horrifying things on the news.#no matter how hard i try to distract myself for a bit i can't shake off this awful feeling#im just so terrified and i feel like throwing up every five seconds of the day#please let this be just bcuz of my period or sth and not a long lasting thing#this bad feeling is akin to the one i felt every night back home laying next to my mom on the bed because dad was off to somewhere working#it felt so lonely in that house. both my brothers gone for good without us knowing if we're ever gonna see them again. dad not around#mom sick and in pain. me realizing she might leave me some day too. it hurt so much#i know i need to be grateful for what we've been blessed with and all.#but sometimes remembering the blessings just makes me feel even more in debt to everything and everyone.
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Anyways also feeling kinda down that I haven't worked on owed in a bit & that today I was supposed to start back up but kinda. Didn't get anything done.
Just kinda really feeling drained lately and idk how much of this is because I just got done with being sick/ being on my period back-to-back and whatnot and I really want to be creative but then when I try everything Just Sucks. I'm very thankful I didn't have to go in this past Wednesday, and that I do not work again until next Wednesday as long as I am not called off then too (or as long as the other kennel person doesn't need covered ig), because maybe it'll give me the time to get my energy back without having to worry about doing shit.
#ramblings#were getting closer and closer to the end of the year and like.#idk i just do not feel like ive been doing anything#ive been doing stuff but its not what i wanted it to be like. my mom and i still havent worked out taking comms#so i still have not been able to take any and i dont think we will be able to work this shit out until after the holidays#idk. someones over tonight so i dont wanna bother but i might try talking to her abt it. to see if we can at least work out a day#when we can get things sorted out. because i really want to take commissions so i can have more income than a part-time job#<- without having to take on a second job/ quit the job i have now for a fulltime one#also as we get closer to a new year im filled with dread abt having to do college. even if i just do online classes i wont lie to you ive#liked the freedom ive had not dealing with school. i know i need some kinda education so i can try and find a reliable job#but its just. the last time i was in school it got me to a really bad place mentally and i just dont wanna deal with that again#sorry. i just wanna think out loud abt this stuff rn i guess#havent rlly talked abt this with anyone. theres only so much my friends can do bc the majority of them i can only talk to online#and idk how well my family would understand. especially my parents. without scolding me for like. loathing school and shit
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#vent post#tw vent#i want to scream. to destroy something. to be in rage and feel anger. and somehow be strong#but no. all i can do is breakdown and cry. feeling only sadness and sorrow. being weak#just when i tought i could have a new start in were all was going to be fine. it ended worse than before#is like being lifted from a puddle just to be kicked down to the mud#they took 10k from me. how will i pay the rent? i am jobless. Delivery work is not close enough#if the school problem is fixed i might not be able to go. montly fee from them too#“you look thinner. are you okay?” my whole family said. uncles. aunts. cousins. my grandma. my parents. even my brother said the same#somehow i expected to be praised. for a long time they kept asking me to lose weight and makinh fun of my belly. why is bad now?#is because i do not eat? because i do not have enough food? but this is what they wanted! i am looking better right? thinner#i am not suffering hunger. i just do not feel the need anymore. is not that better? My ED is fixed. i am no longer a compulsive eater#is this not the way to love myself again? to feel better with my body? to feel like i can desired after all?#with that i can overcome my flaws. fixing the bad things about myself. be deserving of intimate and deep love#someone that will stay because i am very good. kind. compasive. always smiling. having confidence. being open minded#did not all of that comes by loving myself? is not all better this way? why are they saying the opposite now?#yet i know is not okay. that i need to eat more. i just can not. there is not enough food nor the energy to cook everyday#it does not matter anyway. i will probably need to come back with my parents (at least i can do that).#but how i am going to see them in the face and not feel like a failure. like a parasite once again. be more burden than i already am#all i do is making mistakes with how i am. i could not keep friendship because i still loved them. i still wanted for them to be only mine#and i know is bad. i know is not correct. i know i am not what they want not what they need. that i hurt them more than helping#and yet. i miss they company. they support. they hugs and cares. they smiles and laughs. I messed up everything. perhaps is better like this#they will not need to worry about me anymore and they will not see me struggle with my mistakes and life situations#they could be free from all this mess and fixing they own without me making it worse#i will be fine. somehow. only time will tell how i am going to end#i just want to be hugged in this uglyness and stop making mistakes so the pain can end
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TW: nsfw, anal, suggestiveness & pressuring
fem reader
Thinking about really boyfriendly boyfriends – simpy and helpful and sweet – boyfriend material perfectly cut as if custom-ordered – boxed and shipped and sent express mail from the boyfriend factory with love.
He’s interested in your hobbies and studies and is equally passionate about sharing his interests with you. He’s comfortable and playful with your family and makes a true effort to befriend your friends. He’s even outgoing at parties where he doesn’t know anyone but you instead of sulking and asking you to leave like so many past boyfriends have.
He likes sharing food, sings loudly in the car, texts you throughout the day, and calls you when he’s at the store before coming over, asking if you need or want anything. He’s open and honest and geeks over new releases – that movie trailer, that game, those sneakers, that album, that car, and all that other boy stuff – and yet never fails to tell you how beautiful you are every time he sees you.
And he likes taking you on dates – cinema, arcade, roller rink, amusement park, road trips, picnics, beach days – or simply hanging out at his or your place – making food, binging a series in bed, kissing and dry-humping…
He’s just, all in all, everything you could’ve ever wished for. Perfect in every way.
Only… there hasn’t been a single time he’s had you in bed where he hasn’t all but begged to fuck your ass…
He’s literally crying for it while moaning, “Please~ lemme put it in~ just wanna try it once, please, baby~” with his hands squeezing your butt over your shorts and his head under your shirt, kissing and sucking your tits with the prayers on his lips as he humps his tented crotch against your clothed cunt – making your panties hot and damp.
You squeeze your eyes shut with a suppressed whine.
He keeps pleading, “I’ll be gentle~ just the tip~ I’ll go so slow~”
His fingers dig into the crevice of your cheeks, wedging your shorts and undies through your slit. Everything clenches from the friction.
Your face is heated, biting your lip with cinched brows. You knew he’d ask for it again today – he never doesn’t. Even though he’ll get pussy-drunk and pound your poor womb in a tight mating press the second he’s made you cum on his fingers.
He slurps your nipple, still begging, “Please, baby, please~ it’ll feel so good~ so-so-so good~”
You’d been deliberating giving in to his incessant proposals for a little while. He’d been so unrelenting you were starting to feel bad denying him for so long.
Not like past boyfriends hadn’t been equally relentless in the ask.
But this one was different… unlike the others… you really like him.
You think you might be in love with him, even though it’s a little early to say.
Still… since he’s so perfect… you want to do your best to be perfect for him, too.
So you’d made yourself ready for it this time – done preparations in the shower.
But… you pout… it was all so embarrassing, and your poor mind was riddled with doubts as though you were a virgin all over again.
What if something… gross happens? What if it hurts so bad you have to stop? Will it disappoint him? What if you hate it but go through with it anyway, only for him to keep asking? What if you have to break up because you won’t ever be able to look him in the eyes again?
“Are you okay? Is something wrong?” His voice slips through the inner turmoil.
He’d resurfaced from beneath your shirt on account of your silence, only to see you’d covered your face in both hands. He gently peels them away – revealing your eyes and the shy way you nibble your lip.
“I’m sorry…” He apologizes then. “I’ll stop asking-”
“No!” You blurt. To his surprise – staring at you with those big puppy-dog eyes you just couldn’t handle seeing look so disheartened. “I mean…”
You look away, cheeks burning – voice just barely above a whisper.
“If you really want to… I’m fine with it…”
He seemed to perk up at that. If he’d had a tail, you know it would be wagging behind him.
His chest swelled, eyes big and unblinking, swallowing thickly – breaths already thick with containment.
He leans in close and nose-kisses you, brushing your lips with heated words, “Really? You’ll let me?”
You made a small sound, too humiliated to say or do much more than nod your head in confirmation.
He seemed to shudder, closing the space between you, kissing your lips softly – he tasted like static – buzzing with restricted urgency. Parting with a soft-spoken yet strained, “Thank you.”
Both his hands messaged your waist – fiddled with the band to your shorts as though he couldn’t wait to drag them down your thighs and free you.
Still speaking against your lips, “Can you turn around on your knees for me?”
Everything was burning – from the tips of your ears to your lips and deep down in your stomach where something equally hungry and anxious was preparing for something.
He moved back to allow you to crawl into position, taking a pillow and placing it underneath you – patting it while telling you to “Lie down.”
You did like suggested, lying with your face and chest against the soft plume, sinking into it with your back in a slope and your ass presented. Heart pounding in your head, loud and hot, as he took position behind you – placing his hand back on your hips.
He hooked his fingers into the band of your shorts again, pulling them back over the fat of your haunches, then dragged them down slowly until they pooled around your knees. You felt the damp heat of his breath immediately hit the peach fuzz on the small of your back – seeping through the cotton of your panties – making your belly brew with butterflies.
“Just relax, okay? Tell me to stop if I go too far.” He said, sensing how you quaked as he placed both palms on your globes – denting the plump flesh with greedy fingers.
It’s not like you haven’t fucked in this position before – it’s just that you knew this time was going to be different. You felt so exposed.
He fingered the frill of your panties and started peeling them off – baring your naked skin and the pretty dip between your cheeks.
You yelped. His mouth was on you before he’d even finished undressing you – placing a sloppy half-bite half-kiss on your upper ass before proceeding to slurp the crack.
You whimpered – flustered and flushed as the heat of his tongue laid wet trails down through the valley until his lips met with your rim. You shuffled your thighs and balled the pillow in small fists as he groaned into you. Shamelessly squeezing your fat with his hands, spreading the cheeks to let him at your little puckered hole.
Your eyes screwed shut while you hid your face in the pillow beneath you – muffling all uneasy sounds as he canted his mouth against your ass. Chin rutting into your puffy cunt while bobbing his jaw, lipping at your taint and rim – nose nuzzled between your cheeks – mouth fully closed around you – moaning at the feel of it pulsing on the tip of his tongue as he runs it over the tight scrunch again and again.
Your shoulders brace as he tries and screw the wet muscle inside. You tense up way too tight for it to happen.
He smacks off with a raunchy sigh. Your heart is in your throat.
Slick from your ignored cunt feels sticky on your swelled pussy-lips – hot and twitching in the cool air.
He pops the cap of the little bottle of lube the two of you always keep on hand. You flinch when his slick fingers come back to rub your hole. He gives it slow and soothing circles before easing the tip inside. Filling you up only to the first joint, waiting for you to relax and loosen before sinking the rest inside.
He hums at the display, groaning, “Fuuh-ck~” Sliding the digit in knuckle-deep before slipping it out to the tip again – repeating the motion while feeling your muscles ripple around it. “You’re so cute, baby~ so pretty~”
He bows and places a chaste kiss on your buttcheek, laying his face on it like a pillow – his eyes half-mast while looking at his finger disappear inside you.
He works another in with the first, shuffling them – messaging the tightness, slowly training it to stretch. His hot breath fans over your wet skin, making you go goosefleshed.
“Fuck, baby – so pretty with my fingers inside yah~” He hums, almost in a whine while curling them inside you. “So fucking hot how you swallow and squeeze on ‘em like that~”
He pulls himself up again, tugging on his belt with one hand – keeping on fingering you with the other.
His pants drop to the floor a moment later, and he lifts his neglected cock out of the sticky mess he’d made in his boxers – throbbingly fat and hard, pulsing in his fist and leaking pre, another pearl each time he rubs over the bulge of his tip.
He looks at your hole – eyes misty. You seem to have loosened up a bit – enough for him to part his fingers.
He pulls them both out with a schlick. “I think you’re ready…” His voice is sticky – stuck to his throat. “I’m gonna try ‘n put it in.”
Your hands curl into the pillow as you nod your head – eyes still squeezed shut. It hadn't felt too bad so far – just weird. Embarrassing and… clinical. A bit like a doctor’s visit. But you knew that would all change now.
His hands glide across your back, catching your crop top in balled fists, stretching it as his tip works on stretching out your opening – nudging against it, coaxing it into accepting the head.
“Fuh- oh fuck~” He moans, lost to the sight and feel of your butt seizing around him – closing up around his tip.
You look so fucking perfect like that – face-down and kneeling with your ass pressed back against him – giving him your second virginity.
His eyes flitter across the slope of your spine – looking over your creamy skin, looking so pretty, all glossy with dew, until he reaches your face. Your brows are pinched together, gnawing on your bottom lip, eyes shut tightly.
“Are you okay?” He pants.
You nod your head – curt and rushed.
He suppresses a sound – feeling even more heated. You’re so perfect, so good to him – the best girlfriend he could have ever asked for. Trusting him like this, letting him do this even when you’re so nervous about it. You must really love him.
He’s nearly crying, holding onto your hips as he fucks you with just the tip – loosening the rim up and going just a little deeper for every shallow thrust. He nearly barrels over, standing there with his back hunched – bowing his head, looking at where the two of you connect while sweat drips from his weighted bangs.
“I love you, too.” He confesses out of the blue, and you blink, looking back at him – seeing his mouth parted with blissful moans, his eyes wet, and brows softly curled. “You’re so fuckin’ perfect fo’me – so good.”
He loves you so much he can barely take the blossoming in his chest, feeling like he wants to eat you up and swallow you whole. His girl – who laughs at all his silly jokes and holds his hand everywhere you go and doesn’t tease him when he yelps and holds you close during horror movies. His perfect perky girlfriend – who lets him fuck you raw and cum inside, and now… even letting him fuck your tight round ass for the very first time.
He's almost all the way in now – just a few more thrusts, and you’ll have him swallowed down to the base with his balls pressed firmly against the puffy lips of your wet pussy.
“Fuh-uuck-” He breathes out again, gripping your hips tight as he bottoms out.
He nearly cums right then, having to bite his lip to hold back – savoring how you ripple and squeeze him – so tight and firm.
You’re such a good girl taking him so well and so deep, lying so sweetly beneath him with your ass presented – letting him nestle his entire length inside you. Curling your toes all cutely as you adjust with only pretty girly mews leaving you.
You didn’t expect him to mount you.
But he does. Now standing with his feet in the bed, squatting over you with his cock sinking balls deep in your ass. Freshly broken-in, it’s tight and firm and twitchy as though it’s confused as to why there's a big fat cock stretching it out.
He can’t help but smile, perched on top of you – hands still hooked upon your hips for balance while he leans forward, settling even deeper.
You moan, and it nearly drives him wild. Barely holding himself together as he pulls out – wishing he had something to bite into instead of his lip as he focuses on the way your firm walls clench on him, clinging to his shaft so tightly it’s hard pulling out despite the wetness – it’s so good he’s losing it.
He’s taking his perfect girlfriend in her perfect ass. And it feels so fucking good his hands leave their grip on your hips as he slugs forward, bending over you until his chest presses into your back, and his head rests on top of yours, cheek to cheek – slinging both arms around you, putting you in a headlock – leaving you to do nothing else but pant, squished between his biceps and his cock kisses your guts.
“Can’t believe I'm fucking your little ass, baby.” He rants breathlessly. “It's so tight and good, gripping me so fuckin’ hard.” Huffing and groaning with his back hunched as he curves into your butt as deep as he can – stuffing into you from behind slowly and carefully as though he’s savoring every single flutter of you hugging him.
He’s barely even pulling out – kneading as far as his cock can reach instead – cock-warming himself inside you.
“Fuck, baby – I can cum inside, right?” He whimpers against you, kissing the corner of your mouth with his tongue out.
You’re so squished beneath him you can only just wheeze out the word. “O-okay-”
“Oh- fuck, I love you.” He cries when he blows, squeezing you so tight you’re choking as he pumps pulse after pulse of thick hot cum deep inside you. “I love you, I love you- love you- love you so much- so fuckin’ much-”
And you don’t know if it’s the confession, the headlock, or the cum being pumped up your guts – but your clit’s pulsing and your cunt’s twitching even though it’s around nothing, gushing down your shaking thighs as your butt pushes itself flush against your boyfriend’s cock, clenching hard around it and milking him free of every drop.
BNHA – Deku, Shoto, Denki, Kirishima, Shigaraki, Touya, Hawks, Natsuo, Mirio
JJK – Gojo, Choso, Yuji, Yuuta
HQ – Kuro, Bokuto, Miya twins
AOT – Armin
and whomever else you imagined♡
#yandere x reader#yandere#yandere x you#yandere imagines#yandere smut#yancore#yandere boyfriend#boyfriend#boyfriend scenarios#smut#yandere my hero academia#yandere boku no hero academia#boku no hero academia smut#mha smut#yandere mha#yandere bnha#my hero smut#my hero academia smut#bnha smut#yandere jujutsu kaisen#yandere jjk#jujutsu kaisen smut#jjk smut
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