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#one day i will unpack this. whatever this is
rainylana · 3 days
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Taste on an Image: New neighbor
Eddie Munson x female reader
a little longer than my usually one of these! just a fluffy blurb! no warnings!
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“Why don’t you go say hi instead of standing there gawking.” Wayne shook his head, closing the door to the trailer as he gave his nephew a once over.
Eddie jumped, surprised by his uncle’s appearance. “I’m not gawking.” He swallowed. “I’m observing from afar.”
“Well whatever it is you’re doing is probably freaking her out.” Wayne pointed to you outside in the yard, a few trailers down the road as you hung clothes outside on your line.
“She doesn’t even know I’m here.” Eddie rolled his eyes, leaning against the mailbox. “Geez, she sure is pretty, ain’t she?”
“Yeah.” Wayne gave a gruff nod. “Go talk to her. Be neighborly. God knows no one else around here will be.” He patted his nephews shoulder and went inside, leaving the boy alone with his thoughts.
You’d moved in just a few days ago, gaining the attention of Eddie like bees to honey. You were gorgeous, and by the looks of it, single. He readjusted his jacket and slicked back his hair, wiping his mouth with his sleeve to make sure no absent crumbs were festering on his mouth. Last thing he wanted was to embarrass himself.
Eddie walked down the gravel road, waving awkwardly at the neighbors he past that were halfway drunk for the weekend.
“Hello.” He called out to you, standing near your mailbox.
You spun around, smile on your face that nearly made him fall flat on his back, and took a step forward. “Hi!”
God, he was in love already.
“Hi.” He repeated again, lifting up a hand he wasn’t sure what he was doing with. “Hi, I’m Eddie Munson. We’re neighbors. I live just a few trailers down.” He pointed down the road to his house, blushing as he did so.
“Oh, how nice!” You beamed, setting down your laundry. “I’m y/n.” You quickly walked toward him, extending your hand for him to shake. “Nice to meet you. It’s sweet of you to come introduce yourself. No one has yet. I was starting to think I wasn’t wanted.” You laughed, tucking your hands in your pockets.
Your authenticity of casualness made his nerves settle. “Yeah, well, the people are weary of strangers.” He shook his head. “There’s a lot of kids around here, too, so be careful when you leave. I almost run one over every time I pull out of my driveway.” He chuckled, brown eyes crinkling under the sun.
You laughed and he swore it made his heart swell. Two minutes in and he was already whipped.
“Is it just you?” He asked, peaking over your shoulder and back at your home.
“Just me.” You pursed your lips. “I’m from Chicago. I used to work in the news paper office downtown but decided I needed a change of scenery.” You shrugged your shoulders, the wind barely whistling over your words.
“I run the mechanic shop here in town with my uncle.” Eddie pointed over his shoulder down to his home. “I live with him. Have ever since I was a boy.”
“Well I’d love to meet him sometime!” You smiled. “Maybe you can show me around town later this week? If you don’t mind, of course.”
“I’d be honored to escort you.” He smirked, giving you a wink that made you snicker. “Just give me a day. There’s a great diner that I can sweet talk the waitresses in giving us free desert.”
“You seem like you’re good at sweet talking.” You give him a playful look, crossing your arms.
“Well, I don’t like to brag.” He held out his arms, closing his eyes briefly in a smug look.
You tucked your hair behind your ear, looking back to your clothes line that was blowing in the wind. “I’d invite you in for something to drink but I’m afraid I’m not quiet finished unpacking yet.”
“Don’t worry about it.” He held out a ringed hand. “You need any help? Wayne and I would be happy to assist.”
“No, thank you.” You shook your head politely. “I’ll be finished soon. It’s mostly just my clothes and some decorations. I really don’t have that much.”
He could almost feel his uncle’s eyes searing into the back of his head.
“Well, I just wanted to introduce myself.” He stepped back. “Let us know if you need anything. Oh! And remember,” He pointed to your car. “You’ve got a mechanic for a neighbor if you ever need one.”
He left while he was ahead, feeling confident that he hadn’t embarrassed himself. He smiled the whole walk home, fists clenched in a celebratory manor as he practically skipped inside.
“Well?” Wayne asked, leaning against the fridge.
“What do you mean well?” Eddie snorted. “Like you didn’t stare at us the whole time through the window.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” The man hid his smirk behind his mud of coffee.
“She’s nice.” He plopped down on the couch. “She smiles a lot. She’s beautiful. I don’t know, Wayne, this might be the girl of my dreams.” Eddie laughed, shaking his head with pursed lips.
“Uh-huh.” Wayne rolled his eyes. “I wouldn’t start planning a wedding yet, son.”
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Am I the only one who is deeply reminded of Tim Drake every time they see a John Mulaney comedy special?
If John Mulaney was 15 and looked 13, he'd be the prime actor to cast as Tim Drake. Because he has this cynical but boyish charm like he's a 50s professor trapped in a modern boy's body and very self-aware about it. He's seen some shit and done some shit, but he manages to look very put-together.
Here are some actual quotes from John's comedy specials that Tim Drake would totally say if he was writing his autobiography:
On Bruce Wayne:
Tim: Kids, you think your dad’s weird now? Wait for his dad to die. Then he goes on a whole quest.
He’ll wanna take more family pictures, but be angrier during them. “Can we get one photo where we all look nice?”
We’re like, “I don’t think this motherfucker’s doing that well.”
Tim: My dad never hit us. My dad is a lawyer and he was a debate team champion. So he would pick us apart psychologically.
Tim: He was a man most acquainted with misery. He could look at a child and guess the price of their coffin.
Tim: He didn’t want us to not get kidnapped. He wanted us to almost get kidnapped and then fight the guy off using weird, psych-out, back-room Chicago violence.
On being Robins:
Tim: This was always a very dramatic process – ’cause we were thirteen, we looked nine.
Tim: God, I guess they’re finally going to kill us all. All right. This is younger than I thought I would be but we are pretty big assholes.
Tim: I thought I was going to be murdered my entire childhood. In high school people were like, “What are your top three colleges?”
I was like, “Top three colleges? I thought I would be dead in a trunk with my hand hanging out of the taillight by now.”
On being 'the smartest Robin':
Tim: I don’t know what my body is for other than just taking my head from room to room.
Tim, to Bart: Here’s my plan, you and me get very dressed up, including hats, and then we wave handkerchiefs at it until it disappears over the horizon. 
On being Red Robin:
Tim: I was hoping, uh, by now that I would look older but that didn’t happen.
I don’t look older, I just look worse, I think. Honestly, when I’m walking down the street, no one’s ever like, “Hey, look at that man!” I think they’re just like “Whoa! That tall child looks terrible! Get some rest, tall child! You can’t keep burning the candle at both ends!”
On Gotham:
Tim: What a historic and beautiful and deeply haunted building this is. I keep walking through cold spots being like, “I wonder who that used to be.”
Tim: I was coming into my apartment building one night and I saw in front of my building a wheel chair, knocked in its side with no one in it. That’s a bad thing to see. Something happened there… you hope it was a miracle… but probably not… probably something worse.
On staying calm while Gotham is on fire:
Tim: I try to stay a little optimistic, even though I will admit, things are getting pretty sticky.
Tim: I’ll just keep all my emotions right here [points to heart] and then one day, I’ll die.
Tim: And by the way, part of me was like: “Whatever"… you know? You ever have those days where you’re like: “This might as well happen."
On Gotham Rogues:
Tim: He did not look like his job description. He looked like he should be the conductor on a locomotive powered by confetti. But, instead, he made his living in murder. 
On the fracturing of the Batfamily amidst Bruce's supposed death and Tim's search for him:
Tim: It was an intervention. For me. Interventions for me, are my least favorite kind of intervention.
Tim [searching for Bruce while Dick is Batman and Damian is his Robin]:
I, meanwhile, was loose in New York City, not doing well.
On his time with the League of Assassins and Ra's Al-Ghul's interest
Tim: Now, we don’t have time to unpack all of that. 
Tim: You’re all uncomfortable now, but I’m way over it.
On college:
Tim: I went to college. For the whole time. Holy shit, right? I just got a letter from my college, which was fun ’cause mail, you know? 
And they said… How did they phrase it? They said, “Give us some money!
“As a gift! We want a gift! But only if it’s money.” I found this peculiar.
I went to college, I was 18 years old, I looked like I was 11. I lived like a goddamn Ninja Turtle. I didn’t drink water the entire time.
Tim, at his first frat party: People were drinking like it was the civil war and a doctor was coming to saw our legs off.
Miscellaneous:
Tim, in an argument with Steph: That wasn’t what I was telling you, but alright, lets talk about this entirely new topic.
Tim, when asked if he's been up since yesterday: And I was like: “No” you know, like a liar.
Tim: I went into the room to get the massage and the woman there told me to undress to my comfort level. So I put on a sweater and a pair of corduroy pants, and I felt safe. 
Tim: Those were the choices — salad or fries, the two most different foods in the universe. That’s like saying, “What kinda day do you wanna have? Do you wanna be active and go to the bathroom and stuff, or do you wanna lay on the floor moaning?”
Tim, talking to Kon at 5AM: It was really easy to get away with murder before they knew about DNA. It was ridiculously easy. Like, what was even going on back then? What was a murder investigation like in 1935??
One cop would just walk in and be like, [speaks sharply with an old-timey accent] “Detective! We found a pool of the killer’s blood in that hallway!”
And he would just be like [low voice] “Hmmm… gross! Mop it up. Now then, back to my hunch… [holds chin with hand and looks around the floor] Hmmmmmm…. Look for clues. [stands up straight] I’ll tell you what we’ll do! We’ll draw chalk around the body. That way, [narrows eyes and looks side to side and speaks with a suspicious tone] we’ll know where it was…”
Tim, showing up to brunch at Denny's: Hope you don’t mind that I dressed up. It was my first communion today so I decided to come right from it.
Tim: I was sitting up in bed a few weeks ago like… [groans] You know, life. 
Tim: How did they find out about the inside zipper pocket? That pocket has eluded everyone in my life.
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epicbuddieficrecs · 2 days
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Weekly Recap | May 20th-26th 2024
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Soooo looks like I had a slow week?
Happy 911 Finale week everyone, may the odds be ever in our favour 🙏
Complete
The Valentine's Grinch by giselleslash/@gigi-gigi (Valentine's Day, Getting Together | 2K | General): Eddie hates Valentine’s Day, but Buck loves it and everything is awful.
and we can stay all day by trippedandfell/ @trippedandfell (Zoologist Buck AU | 3K | Teen): “So let me get this straight,” Hen says, once she’s stopped laughing at him. “Your nerd crush-” “-Evan Buckley,” Eddie miserably interjects. “Your nerd crush,” Hen repeats, waggling her eyebrows. At the kitchen table beside her, Chimney is grinning like Christmas just came early. “Read your drunk tweet and then sent you animal facts via DM?” or: Buck's a zoologist. Eddie's pretty sure he's in love. (Part 1 of zoologist buck)
doing the things that animals do by trippedandfell/ @trippedandfell (Zoologist Buck AU | 3K | Teen): “Hey,” Buck says, reaching out to grab Eddie's hand. “How do you feel about red carpets?” “Tacky in a bedroom, decent in a living room,” Eddie deadpans, because he likes to think he’s funny. or: Buck's still a zoologist. Eddie's definitely in love. (Part 2 of zoologist buck)
perfect boys with their perfect lives by littlesnowpea (Post-7x04 | 4K | Teen): Eddie storms into Frank’s office, sits in the chair across from him, and crosses his arms.Frank waits. “I’m not homophobic,” Eddie explains, and Frank raises an eyebrow. “I’m not! I love Hen and I love Karen and I have never been homophobic in my life.” “So what’s the issue?” “Buck is bi,” Eddie bites out. “And I don’t like it.” There’s a long pause. Then: “Okay,” Frank says. “Let’s unpack that.”
🔥 This May Be Practice, But I'm an Experienced Idiot by giselleslash/ @gigi-gigi (Fake Dating, kinda, Getting Together | 10K | Teen): Buck overhears a conversation between Eddie, Hen, and Chim and misunderstands it all. Or, the one where Buck thinks Eddie’s only asked him on a date for practice.
🔥 change the prophecy by Daisies_and_Briars/ @cal-daisies-and-briars (Alternate Timeline, Curse/Magic | 30K | Mature): Buck has never felt secure in any of his relationships; he’s been searching for someone to see him the way he feels he’s meant to be seen, but after things start going downhill with Tommy, he thinks that person might just not exist. Eddie cannot figure out what’s wrong with him when it becomes clear things with Marisol aren’t going to work out. But what if they’re both forgetting something?
WIP
🔥 Any Other Way by Daisies_and_Briars/ @cal-daisies-and-briars (Canon Divergent, S2 | 11/19 | 53K | Mature): In a switcheroo alternate universe, Buck spends young adulthood in the military, while Eddie, who has no idea Christopher exists, spends his twenties messing around, finally enjoying freedom away from his family’s expectations. When they both end up in Los Angeles, at the 118, some things are different, and others will be the same in any universe.
🔥 stuck now so long, we just got the start wrong by Daffi_990_ao3/ @daffi-990 (Canon Divergent, Different First Meeting | 6/10 | 24K | Not Rated): Probational Firefighters Evan “Buck” Buckley and Eddie Diaz meet on a call which ends with them at odds with each other. As the months roll by, they keep running into each other on the job, much to Eddie’s dismay and Buck’s delight. Can they put aside their first opinions and misunderstandings and allow the seeds of friendship, and possibly something more, to take root?
Podfic
🔥 [Podfic] help me hold on to you by MistMarauder/ @mistmarauder for theyarnmaidstale/ @theyarnmaidstale (Getting Together, There Was Only One Bed | 1-1.5h | Teen): Hotel mix-ups happen. Buck knows this. Mistakes get made. Certain firefighters named Eddie Diaz forget to make a reservation and they're left with whatever the hotel has available when they walk in requesting a two-bed room when all that's left is a single queen-sized. Or, five times Buck and Eddie share a bed, but not their feelings and the one time they share both.
🔥 [Podfic] I, Hildy by MistMarauder/ @mistmarauder for whileyouresleeping/ @allyourfandomsbelongtous (S4 | 1-1.5h | Mature): It's not often that Buck is the sensible one in their little fire family - but seriously, someone has to let Eddie know that Hildy isn't taking over the world. That is, if Eddie would stop panicking about sentient technology long enough to listen to him. (or - the many ways in which Hildy interfered with Eddie and Buck's life, until they got the picture.)
🔥 [Podfic] beauty in the small things by MistMarauder/ @mistmarauder for thisissirius / @thisissirius (Canon Divergent, Writer Eddie | 45-60min | Mature): I don’t want therapy. I don’t want to self-medicate. I don’t want to be a failure to my son. How, then, is a guy supposed to deal with everything he suffered during war without damaging himself and his family? Yeah, writing wasn’t my first thought either, but here we are. (Part 1 of the trees of vermont [Podfics] )
🔥[Podfic] preceded by chaos by MistMarauder/ @mistmarauder for elisela/ @elisela (Canon Divergent, Not Firefighters | 30-45min | Mature): It’s easy to find work tending bar, easier still to flirt with everyone who passes by, to spend every night in a different bed. He tells himself that he’s having fun; he’s young, he’s sowing his wild oats, he has plenty of time to settle down. He tells himself it doesn’t matter if nobody wants a second date, if they don’t even want a first. (Part 2 of the trees of vermont [Podfics] )
🔥[Podfic] peace was never an option by Cass_Caelis/ @cassiopeiacaelis for trippedandfell/ @trippedandfell (Soulmate AU, Crack | 20-30min | Teen): Buck closes his eyes and tries to think of something that isn’t the curve of Eddie’s smile. Like the fact that he’ll have to try and beg Ravi for his couch back. Or that he’ll have to figure out a place to store said couch. Or that there’s something honking insistently beside him in the Jeep, far too close for comfort. Which - what? Or: it’s a beautiful day in LA, and Buck is being harassed by a horrible goose.
🔥[Podfic] Carbon Date Me, Excavate Me by MistMarauder/ @mistmarauder for extasiswings/ @extasiswings, letmetellyouaboutmyfeels/ @letmetellyouaboutmyfeels (Archeology AU, Enemies to Lovers | 45-60min | Explicit): Evan "Buck" Buckley has made a name for himself as the independent bad boy of archaeology. At least, until Professor Eddie Diaz shows up with his fedora and good looks and starts beating Buck to the punch more often than not. Buck hates his stupid six-pack covered guts. Except for how... he might not.
🔥Medicine Man (PODFIC) by ToughPaperRound/ @toughpaperround // fic by LovelyLittleGrim / @lovelylittlegrim (Getting Together | 20-30min | General): Buck doesn't know what to do when Eddie kisses him on the forehead the first time (or the second time) but he does know he wants him to do it again.
🔥[Podfic] paint me a heaven with your bloodied mouth by MistMarauder / @mistmarauder for extasiswings/ @extasiswings (Getting Together | 30-45min | Teen): Buck. Four letters. One syllable. Eddie knows it’s a nickname. He doesn��t know why Buck picked it or why Buck seems to use it exclusively, but he figures it isn’t really his business. And also that it probably isn’t that deep—all of them use nicknames at work or otherwise in their daily lives. Eddie himself might find it weird if anyone outside of his immediate family suddenly started using his full name regularly after so many years of only rarely hearing it from anyone else. So. Eddie calls Buck Buck. And he doesn’t think anything of it. At least…not at first.
🔥[Podfic] and longer by far by MistMarauder/ @mistmarauder for farfromthstars/ @buckactuallys (Marriage Proposal | 1.5-2h | Teen): Eddie’s been married once, and after Shannon asked him for a divorce and then died before they could do anything about it, he figured that was it for him. One marriage with all its ups and downs is enough for a lifetime. Granted, he didn’t think he’d fall in love with Buck and be lucky enough for that love to be returned. OR Everyone seems to expect Eddie to propose to Buck any minute now, which is annoying because Eddie doesn’t want to get married again. He's sure of that. Or is he?
🔥[podfic] I'll Scrawl it on Every Wall I See by Itty_Bitty_Blondie/ @itty-bitty-blondie by letmetellyouaboutmyfeels/ @letmetellyouaboutmyfeels (You've Got Mail Fusion, S2 | 3-3.5h | Teen): When Eddie joins the 118, he and Buck don't exactly hit it off on the right foot. Or continue to walk on the right foot. In fact they kind of can't stand each other. Good thing they each have a beloved anonymous pen pal to share their daily woes with, someone completely unlike their insufferable coworker. Or, in which Buck and Eddie love each other before they know each other, and know each other before they love each other.
🔥Even the Bartender Knows (PODFIC) by ToughPaperRound/ @toughpaperround (Outsider POV, Getting Together | 20-30min | Teen): The Bartender at The Manhole gets a lot of guys coming into his bar who are questioning their sexuality. Helping them through it is kinda part of his job. But when a pretty Blond comes in and starts going on and on about how in love he is with his best friend, only for a man fitting said description of that best friend, walks in a few nights later going on and on about how in love he is with his best friend, well he's never seen that before.
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Hey doll friends, wanted to do a more in-depth post for this one, but it's been a pretty low energy day so I'm setting for a photo dump with the promise of more to come once I do some hair maintenance and round up whatever additional clothing and accessories I can find for this lot.
So, from the depths of my early 2000s collector vault we have a couple of Hottiez dolls, designed by Stephen Sumner for Chic Boutique. Tahlia is on the left, Asiana on the right. Asiana is wearing the alternate fashion from Tahlia's set, since I like it better than either of the outfits she came with. I'd completely forgotten these dolls existed until I unpacked them, so unfortunately I have no recollection of exactly where and when I acquired them, but my best guess is ToysRUS since that was my main source for dolls at the time they were released (2003?).
Also including respective pix of their hatboxes and 'Dollequins', mannequins that were packaged with each doll and intended to display their second outfit.
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cinna-bunnie · 3 months
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trying to figure out if i actually like sex or i just like everything else about it. do u know what i mean..? it's hard to put into words
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beybuniki · 1 month
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they should go on a fishing trip pt.1
#DONT COMMENT ON THE BACKGROUND I KNOWWWWWWWWWWWW#anyway this is day 1. they take a bus. the bakugo household has fishing gear so ´deku is wearing bakugo's onesoe (?) and bakugo is wearing#his dad's. and notices he has grown :')#anyway they take a BUS and don't feel like doing this at all it's awkward for so many reason#also trying to relax after everything is neurologically just really hard they might be hyperivgilant dik#and there's so much they never got to unpack bnut they have to and they have to start somewhere and with someone#deku makes that flower crown while bakugo preps everything and they both look at it and are thrown back into their childhood 🧍‍♀️🧍‍♀️🧍‍♀️#and at first they just sit and wait for the bavarian fish to bite (rody should make a cameo tbh) but then bakugo breaks the iceeee.#and he starts with their moms because their moms have been such a stubbron connection between these two :')#and deku answers with the usual 'good :) how's your mom :)?' and to everyone's surprise he actually opens up#and tells deku about his mom's insomnia because she watched her son die (that shit was live streamed tpo 10 bnha tweets btw)#idk i love to think of their moms being a very easy subject to connect through i think it's easier for them that way to be more vulnerablei#and then some fish biteeeeeeeeeeee#but like 3 small ones so they have to gather berries and mushrooms and make stew (dw there's an aldi this is bavaria after all)#but yeah day 1 is a bit weird like it's just them in the woods with no distractions#which is so different from whatever went on during their 1st year of high school#don't read this i will throw up i just need this somewhere this is my public scrapbook#bnha#deku#midoriya izuku#bakugo katsuki#the flower crown on their knees makes this a bit homosexual but fishing is always homosexual im not fighting against that#au:#fishing
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eyes-of-nine · 1 year
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truly what a guy
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maenecoon · 30 days
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so like
remember how i used to be a phayurain blog -
@alittlebitofrainbyyourside inspired me, a few months ago, to write something about vampires and biting.
soo i'm thinking about sire phayu who's fangs are aching. it flares up occasionally because of his improper vampire development phase (long story short, phayu was neglected as a fledgling and thus has some "defective" vampire traits).
when phayu's fangs ache, they ache like a bitch, bc of Vampire Urges, he needs to sink his teeth into something. hard. preferably repeatedly. he'd use to teeth on wood, but it's not the most comfortable thing to chew, not to mention it doesn't taste great (phayu, having the rare vampire phenomenon of having functioning taste buds).
enter fledgling rain, who is eager to help his sire. a bit too eager. when rain's teeth ache, phayu offers him his thigh/neck to fang warm, so it's only right that rain returns the favour. he offers himself as a chew toy, baring his pale neck and blinking up at phayu innocently. waiting for phayu to use him and bite him.
phayu who might be a bit hesitant initially because he's afraid of overwhelming and hurting rain. he's extra careful with the pain control, making sure rain feels as little as possible, making sure his bite stings as less as he can make them. making careful little bites in the fat of his shoulder.
and then rain who, very rudely, grabs phayu by the hair, pulling him away from his neck. phayu who overlooks the insubordination and is just about to apologise when rain whines because phayu isn't biting hard enough!
phayu is a bit confused, but honestly, he should've seen it coming bc rain is a pain slut and he knows. i think he's just so used to being Too Much for his other partners that he treats rain the same way by default - like he's glass. (honestly phayus fault for corrupting rain tho ngl)
anyways. phayu who starts to play down the numbing effects of his bites. waiting for rain to have one of his mouthy little rants before phayu bites him down hard. rain letting out a wobbly yelp of surprise. phayu deciding he loves the way rain sounds when he cries, so pretty and wrecked. having to bite him again and again and again.
next time he won't use his aching fangs as an excuse. next time he'll bite so hard that it draws up blood, blood warm from rain's previous feed (basically, phayu's own "blood", lmao). no longer showing any inhibition when digging his fangs into rain. in fact, using his sire control to further disable rain's pain control, making the sensation of the bite feel further heightened.
(i think it'd make rain cum on the spot. phayu continuing regardless, praising rain for taking his bites so well, praising rain for being so pretty when he cries, his voice so beautiful when he screams from pain and over sensitivity.)
just! biting! biting biting biting! clearly i am missing the og vampire boys a little bit :,))
tbh,, it was thinking about vampkimchay that had me thinking back to vampphayurain (love bites au) and how i just completely stopped writing them because i couldn't get past the courting stage. the story needed to continue with phayu trying to court rain. i thought smut was the hard part to write but i didn't consider ✨feelings✨ would be the scarier thing. let's not get into how that reflects on me personally LOL but anyways!
if you're still here, thanks for listening to my rambles. the first installment of this au is linked below. i've written five parts of vampphayurain being cute/horny/trying to navigate their relationship as sire and childe, so if that interests you then maybe you could check it out 🦇
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nowendil · 4 months
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thinking about. womanhood again
#been thinking about how much of the way i have let some kind of womanhood in as a fragment of my identity is infleunced by me thinking that#'well people are going to gender me as a woman anyway so might as well accept it'#and i think that's a part of it (not a thought i overall enjoy. feels somehow defeatist or like i'm giving in or whatever.)#(which i dont think it is but it's a kneejerk reaction)#i do also think that the way i have been actively trying to unpack some of my internalized misogyny has a part in it#i'm not proud to say that i did grow up as a girl who thought womanhood (as it was presented to me at the time)#sounds stupid and way too much effort and unrelatable#but now that my view of the different ways to experience and relate to womanhood have broadened#i can say that i do feel some connection to it. even if i dont usually really claim it as wholly mine#and that acceptance has made it easier to be perceived as a woman in my day to day life#i'm not saying it never stings but. isk it's a bit different#i have said it before but the main thing that bothers me is being seen always and only as a woman.#like i can be a little bit of a woman and Kind Of Like a woman or a close approximate of a woman#but if Woman is all people see my gender as that stingsss#just like being seen solely as a man stings too#(this doesnt happen often so usually it feels more like a fun gender sprinkled in.#or like. it affirms my gender by telling me that i can confuse people)#like. i'm not really a woman i'm not really a man but those are the two options currently recognized by most of society#so a mix of both feels like the best case scenario for me personally genderwise#because gender neutral terms dont always just. hit the same for me as mixing gendered ones does. this varies greatly though#but also i would like to. hm. how to say this. not make that into a rule for myself? i dont want to overthink it#(<- says a guy who has never not overthought anything)#like i have been finding a lot of joy in dressing a bit more masculine in the last year which is wonderful#but sometimes i find myself stressing that if i look 'too masc' people are going to misread my identity more often#because i have a masc leaning chosen name and all#but i try to remind myself that. bitch people are going to misread and misunderstand your gender no matter what you do. relax#but idk. anyway abolish gender so i can start stressing over something else#nowe talks#gender
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merevide · 7 months
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been busy this entire day been sick all weekend and if things couldn’t get any more stressful TOMORROW IS MONDAY.
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abigail: i don't have "daddy issues" i just find older men attractive
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boomerang109 · 9 months
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okay i have my fan going fast enough it sounds like it’s going to fly off the ceiling and kill me maybe i still have a chance at life
#basically my friend and i were literally talking the other day about how I’m not a particularly high maintenance traveller#but one thing I will not budge on (if I’m booking it myself) is that there has to be A/C#and I was saying yeah it’s not even that I necessarily need it like super cold or anything#it’s just that when I overheat it’s like one sensory thing too much with all my other symptoms#and fuck if that hasn’t been true since moving into my dorm#because of course i agreed to move back into the non air conditioned dorms because like genuinely it’s usually so nice all you need is a fan#but ig cause it’s August or cause my health or whatever it’s just been fucking hot as balls#and today especially since I’ve been mostly in bed with my period kicking my ass#it’s just been driving me insane#like i can mostly handle the pain but I just can’t handle the heat like I finally moved my boxes to be out of the way#cause I finally admitted to myself I’m not unpacking them in my current state#and I shed tears over how hot it was just moving boxes like four feet#and like please let it be clear I don’t live somewhere actually hot like im not doxxing myself#but like it’s nice outside but for some reason inside is just gross and on top of my fucking pain it’s too much#i also just I fucking hate move in so much#and I hate that i’m gonna have to text or call my mom and be like yeah im not coming to visit you this coming weekend cause im already dying#and the school year hasn’t started?#like I just tried so hard when I got here to be like ‘yes this is my year for real everything’s gonna be great’ and I just#i’m like one day into being in pain and i’ve lost my mind I can’t even think straight#i KNOW it’s my period I know it’ll last at most a week but it’s so scary everytime that it’s going to last forever cause it used to#im so scared about being an adult I don’t even feel like I can get through this school year but at least this is like. a specific task. what#the fuck am I supposed to do after that when it’s nonspecific#why does everything hurt#why do my arms hurt like that’s not a thing#my fucking throat?!#my legs are obviously killing me cause that’s a near constant these days#my headache isn’t terrible but it’s not great#and my fucking stomach#i think move in should be illegal and chronic pain should be outlawed and I think my parents should call me because what the fuck#boom’s bad days
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pepprs · 2 years
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over the years i have become more… irritable? i guess is the word? over the tiniest things. clutter on my calendar. ANY noise that i do not like no matter how quiet it is (e.g. slurping food, scraping spoons, high pitched noises, tv / videos playing in the background). light being off balance (like storm clouds with sun peeking through them or like.. a light bulb being out in a fully lit room). people getting too close to me but only at particular moments. idk what it is but my critical mass for stimula i can handle at any given moment has gotten smaller and smaller and it’s very distressing
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orphanbasement · 3 months
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Always remember that "words mean nothing - all genders/pronouns are made up" only applies on an individual basis and never on a mass-scale basis
#posts from the orphanbasement#it's wonderful that you can refer to yourself as a man or woman or it or anything under the sun#however that should NEVER be applied to people who haven't explicitly stated they're okay with it#don't call gay men you've never met queen/miss thing. don't call random trans women online dude/bro#Words ARE all made up but. They do still hold meaning. Be it objective or subjective that should always be respected#seriously I do hope that one day we'll all address and unpack the impact that the 'gender is fake words are fake' narrative#has HAD on the conversation about gender and identity#on one hand it's been beautiful and amazing to witness the definition of gender be expanded massively#and it's given a lot of queer people who felt isolated prior due to the 'id as whatever you want who cares' mindset--#--being ridiculed en masse#(of course it's important to note that nothing is perfect in terms of that. far from it)#(there are very much still people attacking and mocking those who have 'nonconventional' ways of iding/expressing--#--their gender both outside and inside the queer community. but things HAVE improved)#and truly I'm glad for radical acceptance#but on the other hand it has undeniably lead to things LIKE trans women being mocked and disrespected#for not wanting to be called dude/bro#and women in general being laughed at for not wanting to be called bitches or cunts#I don't think they are slurs but they undeniably have deep misogynistic connotations#it's very reasonable that some women out there might not be okay with being called those#words do mean things.#maybe good to note that I say this as somebody who does NOT care what you refer to them as
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misfortunegirl · 8 months
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i just want to start work already so that i have a good excuse to avoid everybody AND get money while doing so
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skrunksthatwunk · 9 months
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man i don't even wanna get into it that much but i gotta say this week has been TOO MUCH. AGH. but we're cool(er) now it's just been Non Stop Choice Making And Task Doing
#like ive been coping well all things considered#nothing bad just a FUCKING LOT. yknow#first week of classes + not living on campus + not able to drive -> figuring out bus routes + campus#at the same time#then a couple days in they take me off the dorm waitlist and i now have like 2 days to buy and move ALL my dorm shit#yesterday i left a bunch of essential shit in the dorm bc i thought i'd be coming back that night#and i have so much homework somehow#plus we've been having foster-turtle related issues#and i got broken up with but that was actually pretty good tbh needed to happen was very mutual etc#i wasnt able to work on hw bc my laptop died and the charger was at the dorm... and my contacts... and my phone charger... etc#and my guitar but thats more an emotional/stim thing. i missed her :(#whartever. i am unpacked and chilling by myself in my room#kinda nervous to meet my roommate. i wasnt yesterday when i thought i was gonna but now um. i am#it's probably fine it's just new#plus i didnt wanna roommate bc i need a sensory deprivation chamber and all but whatevs. i think I'll be okay? yeah 👍#and there was a thing inthe middle of the week where one of my classes was empty when i got there???#i had to go on a wild goose chase to get there at all but thats a whole other story#and and and and and. just a lotta stuff all the time yknow#but i am here. hooray#and my classes and professors have all been good so far!! im participating a lot more than i did in high school#like. a LOT. like the most in every class im in#which is crazy bc im shyyyy nooooo im so shyyyyy stoppppp etc#but like. i have Thoughts and Relevant Knowledge#and all of them have been easy to pay attention to/understand except my old lady lit teacher#but shes cool and also that class didnt go as planned anyway + i was BEAT so it might not be her fault#we'll see ig#nervous about my online bio + lab classes though. scaryyyy wahhhhh#also i had to figure out payments for a whole bunch a shit. and textbook weirdness. and parking permits. and and and#WHAT. EVER. we're fine it's ok#i can lie down now and just. be
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