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l3viat8an · 10 months

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*Games night in Levi’s room*

Mammon: Damn this game is crazy!

MC: Crazy?

MC & Levi:*In perfect sync* I was crazy once, they locked me in a room. A rubber room. A rubber room with with rats, and rats make me crazy, crazy? I was crazy once, they locked me in a room. A rubber room. A rubber room with with rats, and rats make me crazy, crazy?-

Mammon: What the fuck is wrong with you two????

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bite-sized-devil · 2 years

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Lucifer: "So which one of us brothers are you actually interested in?"

MC: "Satan"

Lucifer: "A safe choice"

MC: *Thinking back to the time Satan nearly killed Asmo for putting cute notes in one of his books* "I wouldn't use the word safe, intense maybe, insane definitely."

#obey me!#obey me shall we date #obey me mc #obey me #obey me lucifer #obey me satan #obey me! mc #obey me! lucifer #obey me! satan #om!#om! mc #om! lucifer #om! satan #om! shitpost #om! shall we date #obey me simp #cat boy satan #satan x mc #saadie's scripts 🌻

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shootingstarrfish · 3 months

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nothing happened but he deliberately says it like this to piss his brothers off

#he totally pretends to be oblivious about it too cause he's a lil shit <33333 #obey me #obey me nightbringer #omswd #om! belphegor #belphegor #obey me art #shitpost

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anintrovertedechoe · 11 months

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Lucifer: who the fuck took my demonus i just wanna talk

the brothers knowing that whoever did is fucking dead:

MC: it was me.

Lucifer: what.

MC: it was me.

Lucifer: why??? you literally can’t even get drunk off it????

MC: it tastes like capri sun and i miss it you whore

Lucifer: what the fuck is a capri sun

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devildomangel · 12 days

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MC who was sad that they didn't get to see the Solar Eclipse so Beel and Belphie decided to recreate it for them.

-MC, wearing sunglasses and sitting outside the HOL-

Lucifer: MC! What in the nine circles are you doing out here?

MC: I'm watching the eclipse.

Lucifer: We don't even have a sun in the devildom

MC: Shhh! It's starting!

Beel, Wearing a cardboard cut out of the sun: *Standing still*

Belphie: *Wearing a cardboard cut out of the moon, passes by Beel*

MC: Hell yeah

#obey me shall we date #obey me #obey me crack #obey me shitpost #obey me nightbringer #obey me mc #obey me lucifer #obey me beelzebub #obey me belphegor #om beelzebub #om belphegor #om lucifer #om mc #omswd lucifer #omswd mc #omswd beelzebub #omswd belphie #obey me imagines #obey me scenarios

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whatever-fanfics · 6 months

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Headcanon that the demons and angels don't have that instinct when somethings wrong.

MC *feels the hairs on their arms stand up*: Somethings wrong

Solomon *feels a pit in his stomach*: I agree

Demons and Angels: What the fuck

*Something goes wrong*

The Demons and Angels: What the F U C K 🤯😱🤯

#obey me #om! reblog #obey me shall we date #obey me mammon #obey me lucifer #obey me mc #obey me leviathan #obey me beel #obey me satan #obey me asmo #obey me belphie #obey me diavolo #obey me barbatos #I feel like Barbatos would know about this but still #obey me mephisto #obey me raphael #obey me simeon #obey me thirteen #obey me shitpost

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hopeluna · 3 months

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Belphie at Diavolo's parties: this place is so fancy, I don't know which fork to kill myself with

Asmo: the fork on your right.

#this was way funnier when i thought of it in my head #obey me #obey me x reader #obey me incorrect quotes #obey me asmodeus #obey me belphegor #obey me belphie #omswd #obey me shall we date #obey me shitpost #obey me crack #om! belphegor #om! asmodeus

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temis-de-leon · 1 month

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Based on that one joke from TikTok. My pc is still broken and I can't write anything decent:

.

MC: Fuck… I forgot to peel my skin today.

Mammon: What?

MC: My skin, I didn't peel it today.

Asmo: Like a mask?

MC: No, just my skin.

Asmo: Solomon's never done that.

MC: It's just the girls, Solomon doesn't know shit.

Satan: You have to peel it?

MC: Once a month, just after my period.

Asmo: You're molting?

MC: Yeah, sure.

Mammon: And you didn't do it today??!

MC: Don't worry, I can do it tomorrow.

Satan: Nonsense MC, we can help you now.

MC: …no, don't worry… it's kinda taboo for girls anyway…

Asmo: Don't be silly, MC! We'd never judge you!

Satan: And it'll probably take less time if the three of us are helping you.

Mammon: That's right! C’mon MC, let's peel your skin off!

MC: …oh no.

.

Masterlist

#obey me #obey me! shall we date?#om! shall we date #om! swd #obey me mammon #obey me satan #obey me asmodeus #obey me asmo #obey me mc #obey me x reader #obey me x mc #obey me x female reader #obey me crack #obey me shitpost #shitpost #obey me incorrect quotes

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janahanooo · 2 months

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Did I get inspired by the fact that I was all alone on Valentines day? Yes, so have something I made in my misery.

Mc: I live with seven VERY handsome men

Mc: meaning, I should have at least got something from them, BUT NOOoOooo

Mc: so I wasted a night of making chocolate for nothing!

Barbatos: oh Mc... have some more tea

Mc: *sob* Barbs, why does my love life suck?

Barbatos: *he know that the bros made chocolates for Mc but they were too scared to give it to them*

Barbatos: maybe next year my dear

Mc: *sob* yeah, maybe next year...

Diavolo: OH MC! Happy romantic feelings day!

Mc: *sob* Dia, it's called Valentines day

Diavolo: oh, then HAPPY VALENTINOS DAY

Mc: close enough... and thanks Dia.

Diavolo: have some chocolate and rose! Only the best for you!

Mc: ... you know barbs, I actually don't mind that I didn't get anything from them.

Barbatos: ...alright then. Shall I reserve a dinner for the two of you?

Diavolo: OOOOH, yes! I would like that! Mc, what do you think?

Mc: sure<3

Lucifer: where is Diavolo? *has come to give him the finished documents*

Barbatos: on a date

Barbatos: with Mc

Lucifer: ...oh.

Lucifer: *on the phone* Code red Mammon.

Mammon: *on the otherside of the call* on it boss!

Mammon: *yelling to the others* RELISE SATAN!

Satan: *demonic rampage*

#obey me #obey me shall we date #obey me brothers #om! lucifer #obey me lucifer #obey me mammon #om! mammon #obey me satan #om! satan #obey me diavolo #om! diavolo #obey me barbatos #om! barbatos #obey me mc #obey me shenanigans #obey me shitpost #diavolo x mc

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squishe-fiasco · 1 year

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Mc: Good morning Kiddo!

Luke: I am not kid! I am thousands of years older than you Mc.

Mc: *jokingly* Ok Grandpa

Luke: *starting to tear up* But I'm your son.

#obey me crack #obey me imagine #obey me luke #obey me mc #om luke #om mc #obey me shall we date #shall we date obey me #obey me nightbringer #obey me #obey me shitpost #luke om

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cosmicstarlatte · 1 year

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[Lucifer opens the door to see MC in a cage fight with a lower demon and a crowd cheering]

Mammon: Left hook, look out! I got money on ya!

MC: (Tackles and knocks the demon out)

Diavolo (announcing): Ohhh and they're out!!! The winner is MC!!!

[Mixed cheers and boo's]

All the brothers except Mammon: Oh shit Lucifer is back home early-

Lucifer:

Lucifer: Mammon?

The brothers: (nodding)

Lucifer:

Lucifer: Put me and Mammon in there next

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edit: an awesome comic of this was done by the wonderful bahbahsven, check it out c':

#my menace MC Enzo inspired this because him and mammon would come up with shit like this lol #they never give poor Luci a break... anyway it was nice knowing you Mammon!#obey me #obey me headcanons #obey me shitpost #obey me humor #obey me lucifer #obey me mammon #obey me mc #obey me diavolo #obey me incorrect quotes #obey me imagines #om! mc enzo content #shitpostcifer #obey me crack #◇˖・ﾟ— › cosmic obey me . ⊹

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l3viat8an · 2 months

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MC: the human life is a strained and tense one. I envy the life of a smooth rock….resting on the beach warmed by the sun...unaware of the trials and tribulations of human life.

Satan: Do you need to talk?

MC: I wish I was a croissant.