#olivia benson fic | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

maximoffcarter · 19 days

Text

Happier.

Pairings: Casey Novak x reader, Past Olivia Benson x reader.

Summary: The moment reader met Olivia, she knew it was over for her. Two 'straight girls' loving each other behind everyone's backs was meant to be cute and the perfect love story, but it doesn't always work that way. And then, there was Casey Novak.

A/n: Here is the winner of the poll! Once again, bestie here @saurgaeee giving me the ideas. I really do have to give her most of the credit because this amazing girl is pushing me to write all this great ideas and keeps me writing everyday and I love every moment of it, so please thank my bestie here. I gotta say that...I kinda feel bad for Olivia, but if you ask me...I'll always choose my wife Casey Novak. If you got any requests, please don't be shy and drop them at my ask box or message me, I’m kind of getting over the requests and ideas and I do wanna write more haha! Enjoy and leave your comments, reblogs, hearts, whatever you'd like, will be very much appreciated🫶🏻

*not my gif*

“Hey! Y/n is here!” Elliot smiled as y/n walked to them.

“Hi guys.” Y/n smiled softly as she stood beside Olivia.

“What brings our favorite therapist here?” Munch said as he sat on his chair, offering a smile.

“Don’t let Huang hear you or he’ll be hurt.” Fin joked.

Y/n rolled her eyes. “We have different but similar professions. I don’t think Huang will mind.” She grinned as she looked at Munch. “I was on my way to court, but I thought you’d need a copy of my report from the Lopez case. I have some time before I need to be there.” She placed the file on Elliot’s desk. She then smiled as she looked back at Olivia. “Can I talk to you?” She whispered softly, enough for Olivia to hear.

Olivia nodded as she offered a small smile. “Sure.” She looked back at the guys and smiled. “Be right back, gonna walk y/n out.” She placed her hand on y/n’s back and walked with her.

Truth was that y/n had not only stopped by the precinct to drop off the file, but also because she has been wanting all day to go visit Olivia. They had been secretly dating for a whole year and whenever they had a chance, they’d visit each other, Olivia more often than y/n since they had not told anyone about it. The moment y/n met Olivia, she knew she was screwed because Olivia was in her mind 24/7. Y/n sighed softly as they walked to one of the offices that were pretty much empty, and the squad wouldn’t be able to see that they had gone in there. As soon as the door closed, Olivia placed her hands on y/n’s waist and pushed her against the door, kissing her lips softly. Y/n sighed against her lips as she kissed her back, her hands going to Olivia’s neck to pull her closer, but when she felt Olivia’s hand going under her shirt, she pulled away and looked down, placing her hand on Olivia’s chest to stop her.

Olivia furrowed her brows as she looked at y/n. “Is something wrong?”

Y/n shook her head as she huffed a chuckle. “Liv…we really need to talk about us.” She looked up at Olivia.

“What about us?” Olivia asked softly as she took a step back.

Y/n nibbled on her lip as she looked away for a moment, shrugging as she scoffed. “The fact that after a whole year together…you’re still pulling me into empty offices so you can kiss me, but whenever we’re out of the apartment or the office, it’s like you barely know me.” She looked back at Olivia. “I don’t want to pressure you into coming out. I don’t want to be that person that pressures you into telling everyone that you’re dating a girl, because I am not that person. But Liv…how long is this gonna keep going?”

Olivia took a deep breath as she looked away. She shook her head softly, trying to find the right words to say. “I- I don’t know. I just…I’m not ready.”

“Olivia is not like I’m asking you to put it on the papers. I’m not asking you to tell the whole precinct that we’re dating. But I just cannot be a secret anymore. I want to hold your hand, I want to be able to hug you without you being tensed, I want to take you out on dates, I want to be your person. I want to tell you that I love you without being cautious of who is listening to us.” Y/n sighed as she walked to Olivia and held her hands. “Olivia…I hate to be this person, I really do. But how much longer are we gonna keep pretending that we’re nothing to the world?”

Olivia sighed as she looked down and shook her head. “I just can’t do it.” She looked up at y/n and shrugged. “I’ve told you before why I don’t want to go public.”

“I know the risk of your job. But we both know that’s not the real reason.” Y/n smiled sadly. She then sighed as she leaned in and kissed her cheek softly. “I’ll call you later.” She turned to leave.

“You’re not coming over today?”

Y/n turned to look at Olivia as she opened the door. “I don’t know.” She stared at Olivia for a moment and then left the office.

Y/n knew better than to pressure someone to come out, she had treated so many people before who had told her about how hard it was for them to come out to their families or friends, how it could ruin their life or their jobs, she’s had so many people asking for advice on what to do, and she’s heard of others who have admitted that even if it would affect their lives, they could and would come out. She herself had been hiding who she truly was since she could remember, and the reality was that Olivia had been the person that made her break that idea that she was straight.

She knew what she was getting herself into when she started dating Olivia, she had been in denial of falling for the ‘straight girl’ when she herself had considered herself to be one, but the more she spent time with her, the more she wanted to be with her and the fact that Olivia flirted with her every possible chance, gave away the fact that neither of them were straight. So, she gave them a chance. And no, she didn’t regret it, she had fallen for Olivia, and she somehow knew that Olivia felt the same, but lately, it had been more obvious that Olivia had no intention of mentioning that y/n was her girlfriend. She hated the position she was in, asking Olivia to not be a secret anymore, but she had lived in the dark for so long that she didn’t want to be stuck in there more time.

********************

Olivia knocked softly, looking around as she waited for y/n to open. Once she heard the door opening, she smiled softly as she looked at y/n. “Hi.”

Y/n offered a small smile. “I figured you’d come.” She said softly.

“I couldn’t just leave our conversation like that.”

Y/n nodded and stepped aside to let Olivia in. “I know.”

Olivia walked into the apartment and waited for y/n to close the door. She turned to look at her and offered a smile. “Have you eaten?”

Y/n nodded. “I just finished. I have some leftovers if you want some.”

Olivia shook her head. “I’m good.”

“Anything to drink?”

“I’m good.” Olivia cleared her throat as she looked down at her hands. “Y/n, I-“

“I can’t do this anymore, Liv.” Y/n whispered softly as she looked at Olivia, her eyes watering.

Olivia looked up at y/n, feeling a pressure in her chest. “Y/n…please don’t do this.”

“I’m sorry…” Y/n bit her lip as she tried to hold back her tears. “Olivia, we can’t keep this going. I don’t want to be the reason you push yourself to come out. I hate to be that person, and earlier I figured out that I was, and I felt like a hypocrite. I don’t want to pressure you, I don’t want to push you to do that. But I cannot do this. I can’t be hiding again, not when I did it for a long time, I cannot go back to that.” She sobbed softly as she shook her head. “You made me realize who I truly was, and maybe it was me that I just felt safe enough to put it out there, and I don’t blame you for not wanting to do the same. You’re…you’re amazing, Liv. I don’t want us to end up in bad terms. So I’m setting you free.”

Olivia shook her head as she walked to y/n, her hands going to y/n’s cheeks and kissing her forehead softly. “No. Y/n, please. Don’t do this. I just…I can’t. I’m just figuring out who I am, and what I want. This job…I need you, y/n.” She pulled away enough to look down at y/n.

Y/n closed her eyes as she tried to avoid Olivia’s stare. “You don’t have to do anything, Olivia.” She looked at Olivia as she sobbed, tears now rolling down her cheeks. “You can do this at your own pace, and I’ll be here if you need me. But I cannot be part of it anymore. I cannot go at your pace anymore. I need to go at my own pace. And if we keep pushing, if we keep trying…we’re just gonna keep hurting each other, Liv.”

Olivia closed her eyes as tears rolled down her cheeks. She shook her head softly. “I’m sorry.” She whispered softly.

Yn smiled sadly, kissing Olivia’s forehead softly. “I’m sorry too.” She whispered and pulled away to look at Olivia, her hands grabbing Olivia’s and kissing the back of them softly. “I’ll be here.”

Olivia nodded as she took a deep breath. “I should go…”

“Okay.” Y/n nodded as she let go of Olivia’s hands.

Olivia opened the door and stood there for a moment, looking back at y/n. “You know I love you, right?”

Y/n smiled sadly. “Yes.”

Olivia nodded one last time before she walked out of the apartment and closed the door behind her.

********************

Casey groaned as she looked down at her watch, waiting for the doors of the elevator to open. She thought she had more time to get to court but it seemed like destiny was not on her side that day and the traffic had been worst than it usually was. So now, here she was, standing right in front of the elevator, hoping that she could make it up in the next 5 minutes. As the doors opened, she went inside and pressed the buttons to close the doors and to the floor she needed to get to, but before the doors closed, she heard someone yelling to stop the doors, and even if she wanted to be selfish that day, she knew that she’d want someone to hold the doors for her if she was the one yelling, so she did just that.

“Thanks.” Y/n breathed out as she literally ran into the elevator, offering a small to Casey.

Casey nodded as she returned the smile. “Floor?”

Y/n looked at the floors and smiled. “Going to the same one.” She looked at Casey and for a moment felt her heart stopping as she noticed the redhead. She cleared her throat and looked at the doors, trying not to look at the redhead again.

Both of them fell into silence as they waited to get to their floor, but again, it seemed like destiny was not in the mood to be nice that day, and suddenly they heard a loud sound coming from the elevator, and suddenly it stopped. While y/n pressed herself again the wall grabbing her cellphone, Casey cursed under her breath and tried to press any button, but nothing was working, groaning as she realized that she’d not get to her arraignment in time. She pressed the emergency button and then got her cellphone out, calling someone to let them know that she was stuck in the elevator, and she wouldn’t make it.

“Guess destiny is not on justice’s side, huh?” Y/n joked as she looked at Casey, a faint grin on her face. “Unless you’re here for the defense?”

Casey huffed a chuckle. “The first one sounds right.” She turned to look at y/n and smiled. “You?”

Y/n shrugged. “I was supposed to testify but…guess that won’t be happening today.”

Casey chuckled softly as she nodded. “Yep.” She put her cellphone back in her briefcase and sighed. “Well…guess we’ll be here for a while.” She offered a smile and extended her hand. “I’m Casey.”

“I’m y/n.” Y/n smiled softly as she took Casey’s, for a moment her breathing stopped again as she held her hand for a little longer than she expected, noticing Casey’s faint smirk on her face. She let go of her hand and cleared her throat, putting a strand of hair behind her ear. “So…uh…ADA?”

“Yeah, actually. I recently started in SVU.”

Y/n scoffed as she looked down at the floor. “I’m familiar with it.”

Casey’s smile fainted a little as she looked at y/n. “Oh. I’m-“

Y/n looked back at Casey. “No! No, I mean…I’ve worked with them. I’m…I’m a therapist. I used to…to treat some of the victims.”

“Oh! Yes, I…heard Huang mentioning you once. They really miss you.” Casey grinned.

Y/n shrugged as she grinned. “Can’t say I’m not better than Huang but.” She chuckled softly.

Casey chuckled as she nodded. “Well, I’d definitely love to work with you if you ever think about going back.” She grinned.

Y/n stared at her for a moment, a smile appearing on her face without her noticing. “To see me or to actually work with me?”

Casey shrugged. “Maybe both.” She nibbled on her lip as she tried to hold back a smile.

Y/n’s eyes landed on Casey’s lips, suddenly she was left speechless. Her eyes went back to green ones, her smile widening. “We can always go for a coffee, or…lunch?”

“I was thinking the same thing.” Casey smiled, looking into her briefcase, and getting a small card along with a pen. She wrote something on it and then handed it to y/n. “That’s my personal number. We can arrange a day and time.”

Y/n looked down at it and smiled softly, nodding her head as she looked back at Casey. “Sounds like a plan.”

Before they could say anything else, the doors to the elevator opened, making them turn their heads and look at the officers that had forced the doors open. Casey mentioned that she had to run but that she’d see her again soon and then exited the elevator, leaving y/n with a smile on her face as she watched her go. She walked out of the elevator and looked down at the card in her hand, smiling as she saw her name and the phone number. She had told herself that she would only focus on herself after the heartbreak that she had gone through 6 months ago, but she was not about to lose a chance to go on a date with a pretty redhead. Maybe after all, destiny hadn’t been as bad as she thought.

********************

“Do you really need to go to that conference?” Casey pouted as she looked at y/n.

Y/n chuckled softly as she walked around the desk and pushed Casey’s chair back, so she was able to sit on her lap, wrapping her arms around her neck and pecking her lips softly. “It’s just for 2 days, and I won’t be too far away. I’ll just be in Chicago.” She ran her hand through Casey’s hair. “I’ll be back before you know it.”

“Yeah, well, I got a lot of work so that’s good.” Casey smiled softly as she looked up at her girlfriend. “I can take you to the airport in the morning, I got some time.”

Y/n smiled softly. “I’d love that actually.” She chuckled as she leaned down and kissed her lips softly. “Are we still on for dinner tonight?”

“You know we are, wouldn’t miss it for anything.” Casey whispered against her lips. “But, I do have to go to court right now. I got some motions and need to pay a visit to Petrovsky.”

“Of course you do.” Y/n chuckled as she stood up.

“You wanna come with me? We are going the same way anyway.” Casey stood up and grabbed her briefcase, looking back at her and smiling.

Y/n smiled softly and nodded. “Sure.”

It had been a whole year since Casey and y/n had started dating. Y/n had been more than nervous once things started getting serious with Casey to say the least, after their first date, y/n thought that maybe Casey would want to leave it there and they wouldn’t go for a second date, but Casey had been so sweet and charming, looking at y/n in a way that made her feel butterflies in her stomach and she was pretty sure that the whole date, she had been blushing like a teenager. The date had been longer than she had expected, they had stayed at the coffee shop for so long, and then they walked around for a while until they got back to y/n’s. The second date, Casey had taken her to a fancy and beautiful restaurant, and y/n felt like she was in heaven by the way Casey was treating her, everything was just perfect.

Y/n really found it pretty hard to think that she had someone like Casey in her life, things seemed too good to be truth and when Casey confessed she wanted them to be more, y/n felt so scared to be a secret again, but there was not turning back now, not when she was falling hard for Casey, and she wanted nothing more than to give their relationship a chance; and she had taken the best decision ever. The first time she thought Casey would only introduce her as a friend, was one time that Casey had invited her to the batting cages; y/n had told Casey that she wanted to see her play or at least practice, so Casey had invited her to come with her after work. What she didn’t expect was to find some of Casey’s colleagues that also happened to practice there, and when Casey had greeted them, she had thought about stepping aside and wait until she was done talking to them, but to her surprise, Casey grabbed her hand and pulled her to her side to introduce her as her girlfriend.

Y/n remembered the way her heart almost burst out of her chest at the love and happiness she felt, for a moment she believed she was dreaming, but when Casey wrapped her arm around her waist and pulled her closer, she knew it was real. That’s when y/n figured out that Casey was not ashamed of showing her off and that she really meant it when she said she was in love with her. She had told Casey about her failed relationship with Olivia but never told her it had been with her, just told her what had happened, so she thought maybe Casey wanted to show her that she was willing to make their relationship work. That was the first time that y/n had felt truly free, not afraid to show who she was and to show the person she loved, it was when she figured out that she couldn’t imagine her life without Casey, and that she’d do anything to keep her in it.

“Please call me once you’re in the hotel.” Casey said as she placed y/n’s suitcase on the floor, wrapping her arms around y/n’s waist and smiling. “And please be safe.”

Y/n chuckled softly as she wrapped her arms around Casey. “I will be, Novak. I’m a big girl.” She smiled.

“You’re still my baby.” Casey grinned as she kissed her forehead softly.

Y/n blushed slightly as she looked up at Casey. “I’ll miss you.” She grinned.

Casey smiled, leaning down to kiss her lips softly. “Just 2 days, and then I’ll pick you up and we’ll go for dinner.”

“And dessert?” Y/n raised her brow playfully as she smirked.

Casey chuckled as she leaned down. “That one will be when we get home.” She whispered in her ear and nibbled on her earlobe.

Y/n bit her lip and pushed Casey’s back enough to look at her. “Case!” She chuckled softly. “I cannot wait.”

Casey smiled and pecked her lips one more time. “I love you.”

Y/n smiled softly. “I love you more. Be safe yourself.” She pecked her lips and then grabbed her suitcase. “Try not to miss me too much!” She yelled as she walked away.

“I’ll try my best.” Casey chuckled as she watched her girlfriend go.

*******************

“Thanks for coming for a drink with me.” Olivia said as she looked back at Casey, offering a small smile.

Casey shrugged. “Of course, I knew you needed one, and I never say no to one either.” She grinned.

Olivia chuckled as she looked down at her drink. “Elliot told you what happened in there, huh?”

“Yeah...” Casey offered a sympathetic smile. “I don’t blame you for going off on him.”

“He was so proud of wanting to marry a fifteen year old.” Olivia scoffed. “Fifteen, Casey. And he swore that because he offered a good life, it was okay. And he called me a bitter bitch.” She chuckled as she took a sip of her drink. “Though…he might be right.”

Casey frowned. “What you mean?”

Olivia sighed. “I had my chance…to have a good relationship. Someone who really cared about me, didn’t mind my job or hectic hours. They looked out for me, always. They made sure I was okay and made sure I knew I was loved.” She smiled sadly as she looked up at Casey. “I lost it, because I was stupid enough to let them go.”

Casey tilted her head as she listened to Olivia. “We all make mistakes, Liv.”

“I was an idiot, Case. I’m sure they’d have done everything for me and, I just…blew it.” Olivia sighed heavily as she played with her glass, staring at it. “It took me a while but…I figured out that they could’ve been the one.” She looked at Casey and smiled. “You got someone waiting for you?”

Casey smiled as she nodded. “Well…she’s on a trip right now but…I do.”

Olivia smiled. “Can I ask you something?”

“Go ahead.”

“Would you give up everything for her?”

Casey smiled softly as she looked down at her drink. She nodded softly then, looking up at Olivia. “I would.” She said softly. “I cannot imagine life without her. It’s the first time in years that I actually feel loved and the first time in years that I actually am willing to give everything for her.”

Olivia smiled. “She’s a lucky girl.”

“I’m the lucky one.” Casey chuckled.

“And who’s the lucky girl? Someone I know?”

Casey tilted her head. “Actually-“

Olivia looked down at her phone and groaned as she picked up. “Benson.” She sighed as she stood up. “I’m on my way.”

“Everything okay?”

Olivia shook her head. “Apparently not.” She was about to reach in her pocket to get some money.

“Hey, it��s on me. Go.”

Olivia offered a smile. “Thank you.” She said before she left the bar.

********************

“So, we have nothing?” Casey looked back at them.

“It’s bull. He’s not mentally ill. He’s trying to trick us.” Elliot said as he looked back at Casey. “Let’s wait for Huang and he’ll tell us that he’s manipulating us.”

“Huang said he asked for a favor, he can’t come.” Cragen said as he walked to where the squad was.

“Who is it?” Olivia asked but before Cragen could answer, they all looked at the doors.

Casey smiled. “Baby, what are you doing here?”

Olivia turned to look at the person that Casey was greeting, and she felt her heart dropping as her eyes laid on y/n. Did she hear Casey say baby? Was that…shit. After Olivia and y/n had broken up, y/n had decided to not accept any more cases from SVU, she had asked Huang if he could find someone else because she wanted to fully focus on private practice, and SVU cases were taking a lot of time from her, so she never really saw Olivia again. Even though she had said that she didn’t want them to end on bad terms, y/n couldn’t bear the thought of seeing Olivia and working with her when her heart was completely broken. As for Olivia, she had tried to call y/n a bunch of times, but she never answered again and after hearing that she wouldn’t go to the precinct anymore, she knew then that y/n wanted nothing to do with her. So seeing her here after so long, almost 2 years later, and now knowing that she was the girl Casey had been talking about, broke Olivia’s heart even more.

Y/n stared at Olivia for a moment but then decided to walk to Casey who was already walking to her. “Huang called me. Asked me if I could cover for him.” She smiled as Casey kissed her lips softly.

“You and Novak. That is unexpected.” Fin grinned as he looked at both women.

“What can I say? I won the lottery.” Casey said as she kissed the side of y/n’s head.

Y/n smiled as she looked at Casey. “We both did.” She said softly as she kissed her cheek. “Alright. Anything I need to know?”

Olivia only stared at both Casey and y/n as they updated y/n with the case, giving her some information so she didn’t walk into the room in blank. She knew she had to focus on the case, and that y/n was here for the perp, but the fact that she was dating Casey pissed her more than she expected. She was sure that sooner or later, y/n would find someone who could fulfill y/n’s needs, that would love her and that would look out for her the way Olivia was not able to. But the fact that it was Casey Novak who made her happy, who was able to kiss her, hold her, go back home to her, it was pissing Olivia off. Y/n then walked into the interrogation room, and they all stood in Cragen’s office, looking through the window and focusing on their conversation.

“It’s been a while since we’ve had y/n here. It’s nice to have her back.” Elliot said as he smiled.

“My girlfriend is good at what she does.” Casey said softly as she grinned.

“Could you not talk? We’re trying to listen.” Olivia suddenly snapped, looking at Casey and then back at y/n and the perp.

Elliot frowned and looked at Casey who looked back at him, but right after they shook it off, focusing on the conversation. 20 minutes later, y/n had gotten more information than they had done in the last 2 hrs, Casey turned to Elliot and asked him to check his phone record and make sure to find anything at all, leaving Casey and Olivia alone in Cragen’s office. They both stayed quiet for a little longer, y/n looking at the window a while after to let them know that she was about to finish with him.

“She only needed 20 minutes to get him to talk. Isn’t she amazing?” Casey said proudly as she looked at Olivia, a smile on her face.

“Yes, Casey. We know how she works. We have no doubt that she’s good. Or she didn’t tell you that she used to work with us?” Olivia snapped as she turned closed the blinds and turned to leave the office.

“Do you have a problem, Olivia?” Casey frowned as she walked to Olivia.

Olivia turned to look at Casey. “No. I have no problem.”

“You just…completely changed in an instant. Is there anything bothering you or-“

“Look, Casey, we’re really not friends for me to tell you about my problems or go to you to talk. So, don’t pretend like you want to know if I’m okay or not.” Olivia scoffed as she shook her head, turning to walk away.

Casey scoffed as she shook her head. “Oh, now we’re not friends? What happened to that night weeks ago when we were having a drink and talking?”

Olivia shrugged. “We’re colleagues, colleagues do that.”

Casey nodded as she looked away. “Got it.” She offered a smile. “I’m sorry that I thought we were friends.” She passed Olivia and opened the door to walk out of the office.

Olivia sighed heavily as she looked up and found y/n going to Casey, giving her a kiss on the cheek, and smiling at something Casey told her. If she thought she had a chance to get y/n back, now it was long gone. She had found happiness, she had found her person…and Olivia…well…she was wishing she was in Casey’s place.

********************

Olivia knocked on Casey’s door and leaned against the door frame. Casey looked up from her notepad and offered a small smile. “Can I come in?” She showed Casey the bag of food she had in her hands and smiled a little. “I brought Chinese.”

Casey huffed a chuckle and nodded. “C’mon in.”

“I thought you might want a little help in the Duvall case.” Olivia smiled as she sat down and placed the bag in a place where it wouldn’t mess with Casey’s paperwork.

Casey nodded. “Yeah, just going through notes.” She sighed. “But that’s not the only reason you’re here, right?”

Olivia shook her head as she smiled. “I’m sorry about what happened a few weeks ago. I never got to say I was sorry.”

Casey nodded. “I figured you were just going through something, and I made you snap.”

Olivia shrugged. “Maybe, I still shouldn’t have reacted that way.”

“Well, you brought me dinner, so you’re forgiven.” Casey smiled.

“Y/n is not coming?” Olivia asked as she grabbed the bag and looked inside to get the boxes of food.

“Uh, no. She was invited to present a class in Columbia, so I told her I’d meet her at home.” Casey smiled.

“Good.” Olivia looked up at Casey and smiled. “You really are lucky, Case.”

Casey frowned slightly and then smiled. “I know.”

Olivia knew it was not her place to talk about the relationship she had with y/n, not if y/n had not told Casey anything about it. As much as she wanted to tell Casey that y/n had been the person she was talking about back in the bar, she knew that if she mentioned it, it might cause problems between Casey and y/n, and the last thing she wanted, was to have Casey coming after her or y/n getting hurt, so she decided that the best option was to continue as if nothing had happened, and be in good terms with Casey, after all, they were working together.

After an hour or so going over Casey’s notes and the files, Olivia decided to go get some coffee, seeing the hour and realizing that they would definitely spend more time in Casey’s office than they wanted to. She knew that because of the hour, she’d have to walk for a bit to find an open coffee shop, taking her around 30 minutes to get the coffee and go back to Casey’s office. Once she was back, she frowned as she noticed the lights in Casey’s office were now off, for a moment believing that Casey had gone home.

“Casey, I had to go three blocks to find the open coffee shop, if you went home, I’m gonna kill you.” Olivia huffed a chuckle as she opened the door but then she noticed it was completely dark and quiet, frowning again as she reached for the switch of the light and turning it on, finding Casey passed out on the floor. “Casey…” She whispered softly as she dropped the coffee and knelt on the floor to check Casey’s pulse. She got her phone out and dialed 911 asking for a bus and to be quick cause Casey was not responding. She put her phone back in her coat and tried to check if Casey was bleeding from anywhere else, panic suddenly taking over.

After the ambulance and the police arrived, she told Elliot that she’d ride with Casey and to call y/n if he had the chance. The whole ride to the hospital, Olivia kept staring at Casey and hoped that she’d wake up, but she kept hearing that she was not responding but there was a pulse. She held Casey’s hand the whole ride, mumbling a prayer, or anything at all for Casey to wake up and to be alright, she felt guilty for leaving her there and taking so long to find the coffee shop. Once in the hospital, they got Casey right into surgery and they asked Olivia to wait in the waiting room. She kept pacing around as she waited, her mind filled with thoughts as she tried to remember if she saw someone or anyone that could’ve hurt Casey, and then it hit her that they had sent flowers, and for a moment they had joked that maybe y/n had sent them, which in all honesty, it made Olivia feel a little jealous, but she didn’t say anything. So, if it hadn’t been from y/n, someone else went to Casey’s office and attacked her. As was lost in thought and pacing around the room, she didn’t notice y/n walking into the waiting room, calling for Olivia until she felt a hand on her shoulder, and she looked up to find y/n right in front of her.

“Y/n…” Olivia breathed out.

“Where’s Casey?” Y/n asked almost out of breath.

Olivia took a deep breath as she tried to focus back on the present. “She’s…she’s in surgery. She has a concussion and I think…broken ribs. I don’t…I don’t really know.”

“What happened?” Y/n’s voice trembled as she looked at Olivia, her eyes filling with tears.

“We were…we were going over the case, and we were just talking about it and going over the options, and I offered to go for coffee. I left for…for 30 minutes. And I came back, and she was passed out on the floor. I don’t know-“

“Is there a suspect? Is there someone that wanted to hurt Casey?”

Olivia looked at y/n and shook her head. “I don’t know, y/n.”

Y/n sobbed as she turned away from Olivia, her hands going through Casey’s hair. “I should’ve gone to her office instead of home.”

Olivia sighed as she tried to place her hand on y/n’s shoulder. “Y/n, we didn’t know this would happen-“

“You left her alone.” Y/n turned again to look at Olivia, tears rolling down her cheeks. “Why did you leave her alone?”

Olivia was taken aback by the question, looking at y/n with disbelief. “Y/n…I didn’t know this was gonna happen.”

“Are you sure?” Y/n snapped.

Olivia scoffed. “What? You think that because I found out you’re dating Casey, that I decided to, what, let a perp or a random person go to Casey’s office to attack her? Are you even listening to yourself right now?”

“Oh, please. Casey told me the way you acted the day I went to the precinct. You were rude when she doesn’t even have any idea about you.”

“I called you. A million times. I regretted so much to let you go so easily. And you never answered!”

“I moved on, so what, Olivia? It’s been almost two years. You thought I’d sit around and wait until you were okay with coming out and telling people that you had something with me? You had no right to treat Casey like that, she did nothing to you. If you wanna take it out on someone, it should be me. Not Casey.” Y/n started to raise her voice as she stared at Olivia.

“I should be the one making you happy and holding your hand! I should be the one loving you, not Casey!”

“You had your chance! I gave you a chance and you took it for granted! I moved on, and I met Casey, and you know what?! Casey is the best thing that has happened to me! I love her like I have never loved anyone! And if I lose her, this will be on you, Olivia!”

“That’s enough!”

Olivia and y/n turned to look at Elliot standing just a few feet away from them. Suddenly they both remembered they were in the waiting room of the hospital and a few people that were there were now staring at them. Y/n swallowed hard as she looked down at the floor, trying to calm down as more tears rolled down her cheeks. Elliot then walked to them and placed a hand on y/n’s shoulder.

“I’ll go ask for Casey, to see if she’s out of surgery.” Y/n whispered softly, walking out of the waiting room.

Elliot stared at Olivia and placed his hand on her shoulder. “What was that about?”

Olivia looked at Elliot with tears in her eyes. “I blew it. I lost y/n a long time ago, and now it’s too late.”

Elliot sighed as he nodded. “You two were dating back when she was helping us, huh?” Olivia nodded. “Why you never told me?”

“I was not sure of who I was or what I wanted, I was confused. I’m not twenty anymore. I was just-“ Olivia shrugged. “I don’t know.” She sniffled as she shook her head. “And I blew it. And now she’s happy with Casey, and I’m still here wishing that it was me.”

“Liv…you need to let her go. She was out of line, what happened to Casey had nothing to do with you, it’s not your fault. But you need to let her go.”

Olivia stared at Elliot as she tilted her head, more tears rolling down her cheeks. “I know.” She whispered softly.

********************

Casey opened her eyes slowly, turning her head as she noticed y/n leaning over her arm fast asleep. She smiled softly and slowly moved her other hand to run her fingers through y/n’s hair. Y/n took a deep breath as she opened her eyes and looked up to find Casey staring at her. “Hi sleepyhead.” Casey whispered softly.

Y/n’s face softened as she smiled. “Welcome back, baby.”

Casey smiled. “I fell asleep as soon as I talked to Olivia.”

Y/n nodded softly. “You did. But that’s okay…you need all the possible rest.” She smiled softly as she got up and leaned down to kiss Casey’s forehead softly. “Do you want some water?”

Casey shook her head slowly. “I’m good.” She sighed. “Can I ask you something?”

Y/n sat in bed and brought Casey’s hand to her lips, kissing the back of it softly. ��Anything.”

“It was Olivia, wasn’t it? Your heartbreak.” Casey said softly, almost in a whisper as she looked at y/n.

Y/n sighed as she looked at Casey’s hand and then up at her again, nodding softly. “Yes.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

Y/n shrugged. “I didn’t think it was important. Olivia and I…we broke up and after that, we tried to continue working together but it wasn’t easy. And I stopped talking to her and going to the precinct. We lost contact until that day when I went to the precinct again.” She bit her lip softly. “I didn’t mean to hide it from you, Case. If I would’ve known that Olivia was going to act that way-“

“You have history with her. I don’t blame her. I can’t say that I wouldn’t react the way she did.” Casey grinned.

Y/n huffed a chuckle as she shook her head. “Still, she had no right to treat you like that, Casey.”

Casey shrugged. “I can handle it.” She smiled. “So…are you really over her?”

Y/n tilted her head. “You really asking me that?” She smiled. “Case, I’ve been over her since the moment I met you. Even before that. Yes, what I had with Olivia…it was something. She was the first woman I was with, but things didn’t work with her. And I have you, Casey. And no, you’re not a rebound or replacement or anything. I love you, Casey. And I’d do anything not to lose you. I can’t imagine my life without you.” She felt her eyes getting teary as she spoke, afraid that Casey would tell her that they had to break up.

Casey sighed softly as she pulled y/n closer, signaling her to lean down. “I’m not going anywhere, my love. I love you too much to let you go. But…I just needed to know.” She smiled once y/n was resting her forehead against Casey’s carefully. “You cannot get rid of me.”

Y/n chuckled softly. “I better not. I mean it, Casey.”

Casey nodded. “And I mean it too. I love you, and I’d do anything for you. I cannot imagine my life without you either.” She grinned. “We’re too cheesy.”

Y/n laughed softly. “We’re disgusting.” She smiled as she kissed Casey’s lips softly. “Please, never leave me.”

“Not planning to.” Casey smiled as she kissed her lips again.

********************

Y/n took a deep breath as she walked to Olivia’s desk, thankful that the rest of the squad was gone. She cleared her throat softly, making Olivia look up at her. “Hi.”

Olivia sighed. “Hi.”

“I uh…I wanted to talk to you. I’m sorry if I didn’t call before.”

Olivia shook her head. “It’s okay. You want to go somewhere else?”

Y/n shook her head. “I just wanted to tell you that I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have snapped at you like that. I was stressed and worried about Casey.” She sighed. “I really didn’t mean to tell you all those things.”

“But you were right.” Olivia stood up and leaned over her desk. “I shouldn’t have snapped at Casey. I shouldn’t have told you all those things. You had every right to move on.”

Y/n nodded. “You meant so much to me, Olivia. You really did. And you always will.”

Olivia smiled. “But you found your person.”

Y/n smiled. “I did.” She whispered softly.

“I can see that now. And I am so sorry. I’m happy that you’re happy. I truly am. And I hope we can move on from this and…maybe start over.” Olivia smiled as she extended her hand.

Y/n nodded as she held Olivia’s hand. “I’d like that.” She smiled.

Olivia let go of her hand and smiled. “Good. I’m really happy for you, y/n. And I am sorry about what happened to Casey.”

“It wasn’t your fault. It was never your fault.” Y/n smiled. “I know you’ll find the right person, Liv. Just…live your life as you want it. Don’t overthink it too much.”

“I will.” Olivia smiled. “Take care.”

Y/n smiled. “You too.” She squeezed Olivia’s shoulder before she walked away.

Y/n knew that what she had with Olivia had been special, she had helped her figure out that after all, she had been living in denial her whole life and she had been hiding her true self. Sadly, what she had hoped to have with Olivia, had not worked out the way she wanted, and she believed that somehow, it could’ve been fate telling her that Olivia was not the right person. As cheesy as she thought it was, she knew deep inside that Casey was her person, and the one that she wanted to spend her whole life with. Olivia would always hold a place in her heart, but Casey was her person, and she wouldn’t change it for anything in the world.

#casey novak x reader #casey novak #olivia benson x reader #olivia benson #svu fic #svu #law and order svu

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youdoknowwhotfiam · 29 days

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Olivia benson x fem!reader

FREE PALESTINE

Angst

(Credit to owner)

The scent of burnt coffee and regret hung heavy in the air of Olivia's apartment. Two years. Two whole years had passed since the fight, a stupid, petty argument that escalated into a chasm Olivia never thought you'd willingly jump into. You called her a workaholic, her nights spent hunched over case files a constant reminder of how little time she had for anything else. You, with your fiery spirit and infectious laugh, deserved more than that. Olivia, in a fit of exhaustion and frustration, had thrown it back, words laced with the bitterness of a job that chipped away at her soul piece by piece. "Then maybe you should find someone who has time for you!"

You slammed the door on your way out, the echo of it reverberating in Olivia's ears long after you were gone. She called, texted, left desperate messages on your voicemail, hoping, praying you wouldn't disappear like smoke. But disappear you did. No forwarding address, no trace on social media, your phone number disconnected. You vanished like a ghost, leaving behind a gaping hole in Olivia's life.

The days blurred into weeks, weeks into months. Olivia threw herself into work, the familiar sting of righteous anger and the hunt for justice a poor substitute for the warmth of your hand in hers. She saw traces of you everywhere – in the coffee shop where you always ordered your extra-sweet cappuccino, in the park where you used to steal glances at the stray dogs, in the bookstore where you'd lose yourself in detective novels. Each time, a jolt of hope would momentarily flicker, only to be extinguished by the crushing reality of your absence.

Then came the call. It was a cold, rainy November night, the city slick with the first kiss of winter. Elliot's voice crackled through the line, a raw urgency in his tone. "Liv, you gotta get down here. Warehouse raid. Russian mob. We found girls."

Olivia's throat went dry. Human trafficking. It was an all too familiar story, a stain on the city's soul. But the case didn't register fully, not yet. All she could think about was girls, young lives stolen, innocence shattered.

The warehouse was a desolate, concrete tomb. The air hung heavy with the metallic tang of blood and the despairing whimpers that echoed from behind the heavy metal doors. Olivia and the team kicked them down, a cacophony of shouts and flashing lights filling the cavernous space.

The girls were everywhere. Huddled in corners, eyes wide with terror, their bodies frail shadows under layers of grime. As Olivia moved through the room, a primal instinct kicked in, a fierce protectiveness that burned through the years of jaded detachment. She knelt before a young girl, barely a teenager, tears tracing dirty streaks down her pale cheeks. The girl flinched instinctively, eyes downcast.

"It's okay, sweetheart," Olivia murmured, her voice soft and soothing. "We're here to help you now."

A gruff voice interrupted. "Liv, you need to see this."

Elliot stood by a makeshift bed in a back room, his face grim. Olivia followed his gaze. There, on the threadbare mattress, lay a figure draped in a tattered blanket. It was you.

The blood drained from Olivia's face. Your face, pale and gaunt, was framed by matted hair. Your once vibrant eyes were closed, your breathing shallow. A choked sob escaped her lips. How? Why?

Elliot noticed her reaction, his eyes instantly filled with understanding. "We need to get her to the hospital," he said, his voice gruff but kind.

The sterile white of the hospital room felt like a slap. Olivia sat by your bedside, a vigil kept through the long night. Machines beeped rhythmically, a constant reminder of your fragility. Hours turned into days, and finally, your eyelids fluttered open.

Confusion clouded your gaze for a moment before recognition dawned. Your eyes widened, a flicker of fear giving way to disbelief. "Olivia?"

Her voice was a hoarse whisper, but to Olivia, it was a symphony. "Yeah, it's me. You're safe now."

Tears welled up in your eyes, spilling down your cheeks. You tried to speak, but your voice was weak. Olivia leaned closer, catching your words.

"You left," you rasped, your voice tinged with accusation.

Olivia flinched. "I..." she started, the words catching in her throat. Shame and regret were a bitter cocktail in her mouth.

"Don't," you cut her off, a flicker of your old fire returning. "Just... tell me what happened."

It poured out of her then, a torrent of words – the fight, the desperation, the months spent searching for you. You listened in silence, With a tear slipping down her cheek, Olivia reached out and grasped your hand, her touch sending a jolt through you. The years of separation melted away, replaced by a raw vulnerability that left you breathless.

"I was so stupid, Y/N," she whispered, her voice thick with emotion. "Work consumed me, and I took you for granted. I never thought you'd leave."

You squeezed her hand back, a silent understanding passing between you. The hurt of the fight was still there, a dull ache in your chest, but seeing Olivia like this, broken and filled with remorse, softened the blow.

"I said some pretty awful things too," you admitted, your voice barely above a whisper. "I shouldn't have stormed out like that."

Olivia's eyes met yours, a flicker of hope igniting within them. "Can you ever forgive me?"

The question hung in the air, heavy with unspoken longing. You looked at the woman you once loved, the woman you realized you never truly stopped loving. The past two years had been a nightmare, a desolate wasteland devoid of her warmth.

Taking a deep breath, you reached out and tucked a stray strand of hair behind her ear. The gesture was small, intimate, a silent promise.

"I already have," you murmured, your voice thick with emotion.

A choked sob escaped Olivia's lips as she leaned forward, burying her face in the crook of your neck. Tears streamed down her face, hot against your skin. You held her close, whispering words of comfort, the silence of the hospital room broken only by the soft beeps of the machines and the rhythm of your intertwined breaths.

As the days turned into weeks, you recovered slowly, your body healing alongside the fractured pieces of your relationship with Olivia. The nights were filled with whispered confessions, apologies, and the tentative rebuilding of trust. You spoke about your ordeal, the horrors you witnessed at the hands of your captors, the despair that threatened to consume you.

Olivia listened patiently, her arms wrapped around you, a silent shield against the encroaching darkness. She held you close as you cried, her presence a source of strength and solace.

When you were finally released from the hospital, Olivia took you back to her apartment. It felt different, the emptiness replaced by a sense of cautious optimism. There were nights you'd lie awake, the echo of the past lingering in the air, but Olivia was always there, a comforting presence by your side.

One evening, as you sipped tea on the fire escape, the city lights twinkling below, Olivia turned to you, her eyes filled with a newfound determination.

"We'll get through this, together," she said, her voice firm. "You and me."

You met her gaze, a smile gracing your lips. "Together," you echoed, the simple word holding the promise of a future rebuilt, stronger and more cherished than ever before. The fight that tore you apart had left its scars, but it had also shown you the strength of your bond, a love that even the darkest of nights couldn't extinguish.

#olivia benson x reader #olivia benson x you #olivia #olivia benson #law and order svu angst #svu fic #law and order svu #svu #l&o svu

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ncis-nerd · 1 month

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long cases

Ship: Olivia Benson x Fem!Reader

Warnings: Angst, Hurt/Comfort, SA mention and description briefly, cuddling, pet names.

About: A case gone wrong leaves y/n upset and to make matters worse, y/n can relate to the case so she blames her self but her girlfriend, liv, provides a shoulder to cry on and consoles y/n.

"cmon baby, stop being so shy. it's just me. just mommy, sweetie. lemme see your pretty face, hm?" liv cooed, in attempts to get her little lovie out of burying her face into liv's shoulder. y/n slowly begins to pull away, her teary-eyes met liv's. "Oh honey.." liv sighed sadly. she knew that this last case had taken a toll on y/n. it went so wrong and liv can tell y/n is blaming herself. "livie" y/n's voice broke. the fragile girl began to sob, covering her face with her fingers to spare liv the effort of attempting to console her. there was nothing liv could say to change the outcome of the case but what liv could do, was talk to y/n about it. liv knows that y/n was abused sexually in the past so this is why she relates to this case so deeply.

A few minutes passed, liv was giving y/n the space to cry and let it all out before talking to her. Y/n stood limp in liv's arms, tears stopped flowing. Y/n began to trace circles on liv's back. Liv took this as a sign that y/n was in a slightly better state. "Honey?" Liv gambled. Y/n hummed in reponsed. "Are you ready to talk about it, my love?" Liv asked, not removing the girl from her lap just in case. Y/n and Liv had this agreement that they'd always talk about it. If someone was bugging the other, they would not let it cause an argument or fight. To talk about it and dispute the problem before it gets worse.

Y/n scooted over, leaving some space between the two, but not much. Y/n clutched onto liv's hand, not that liv minded. She knew it helped y/n to talk, grounded her. Knowing that liv was real and she would be okay eventually. "I think the reason this case is getting to me so much is because this has happened to me. Not this exact situation but I was SA-ed. A-and I've told you about it briefly but..." Y/n's voice broke, drawing intense circles on liv's hand. With her other hand, liv reached out to rub y/n's back. Giving her a hint to breathe. Y/n takes a deep breath in response, getting the hint. Liv fixated on y/n's story, nodding at her to continue when she's ready.

"P-part of me wished someone had came to save me, but no one ever did. It got worse but you know what? I grew up, and got the hell out of there." Y/n exhaled, feeling a huge weigh lifted off her chest. "That's right my love. What you experienced, is horrible, I have no words. But you're right, you got the hell out of there and I'm so proud of you for that. Shows how strong you are, look how far you came. You help people everyday, you are amazing, my gorgeous, generous, girlfriend." her voice softened with affection.

Y/n let out a soft giggle in response. Liv, obviously confused, gives y/n a puzzled look in response. Furrowing her eyebrows. "That all started with g's, I just thought it was funny." Y/n squeaked in a happier sounding voice. "Oh? Hm? Funny am I?" Liv pushed, climbing onto y/n, trapping them beneath her. Y/n raised an eyebrow towards Liv. Liv attacked y/n with tickles. "l-livie!" She squealed. "How funny am I now? Hm, sweetheart?" Liv teased. Y/n squirmed beneath her, out of breath "l-liv i can't breath!!" Y/n giggled. "Oh, can't you now baby? " Liv inched closer towards Y/n, pressing her lips against y/n's.

Liv fell beside y/n, her hand caressed y/n's face. Their eyes met, and y/n leaned into liv's touch. "I love you so much, babe." y/n whispered quietly. "you are so perfect, angel." Liv whispered in response. They gazed at each other with nothing other than love. They laid in silence, clutching onto one another, falling asleep tangled up in quiet.

a/n: like, reblog and comment for more!!

#my writing #my fic #olivia benson x reader #olivia benson x you #olivia benson #law and order svu #svu #svu fic #svu x reader #svu fanfiction #law and order special victims unit #Olivia Benson angst #l&o svu #law and order fanfiction #Olivia x reader #hurt/comfort #angst #mentions of sa

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naturesapphic · 4 months

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Hello! I have a request for Olivia. Maybe a situation where reader and Olivia were held hostage. Reader hasn’t been doing good since, with having to witness Olivia being tortured. All week reader would try to remain professional and nonchalant. Olivia knew when reader was masking her emotions, end of week she goes reader’s place. Reader opens the door already in a bad way as she’s been all week after work. She opens up and tells Olivia all that’s in her mind and heart, including how she has feelings for her boss. She starts to have a panic attack at her own confession.

Confession

Olivia benson x fem!reader

Warnings: mentions of kidnapping and torture, mentions of rape, hurt/comfort, cussing

~ flashback ~

You were lying on a gross marble floor with no lights around you. You tried to move around but you were restrained by something. All of a sudden, a bright light flickered on and you looked up to see Olivia on the ground tied up like you. “O-olivia?!” You called out to her and she didn’t respond. You kept calling her name until you heard a groan and Olivia trying to move around. “Olivia! Are you okay?” You asked her and she forcefully turned around and saw you on the ground tied up. “I’m fine. But are you okay?” She asked you and you looked at her as tears sprung to your eyes. “No…Olivia I’m s-scared…” you whimpered out and you saw Olivia’s eyes soften as she saw how petrified you looked right now.

“Don’t worry sweetheart. I’ll get us out of this.” She reassured you but that was soon gone when someone came into the room the both of y’all were in. “Don’t make that a promise princess.” The man laughed out as he bent down to Olivia’s face. She glared at him and he didn’t like that. He socked her in the face and you screamed out “no! Please!” He kept hitting her to “teach her some manners” and you kept screaming at him to stop but he never did, not until her face was bloody and she could barley see. You started sobbing and the man walked over to you and started kicking you in the stomach to make you stop screaming. You eventually did so he would stop kicking you and he finally did. He left the room as she gave y’all a sinister smirk which made you feel the chills all over your body.

You looked over at liv and whimpered at how badly he has beaten her. You needed to go over there, you needed to see if she was okay. Your arms and legs were tied up but you managed to lay completely on the floor and start rolling over to her. You successfully got to her and had trouble sitting up but you eventually did it. “Oh livia…” you whispered to her and you leaned down carefully and placed a gently kiss on the top of her head.

~ flashback over ~

Your thoughts were interrupted by fin calling your name, snapping you out your daydreaming, “Y/n! You alright?” He asked you and you blinked a few times to focus on the world in front of you and not memories in your mind that haunt you. “What? Oh yeah…I’m good…” you said quietly as Olivia watched you from afar, noticing how you haven’t been the same since y’all got kidnapped.

~ flashback ~

It was the next day you suppose, when someone came into the room. A scared nurse was pushed into the room and the door was immediately locked. She saw you and Olivia and rushed over to y’all. “Please do her first…” you begged her and she gave you a small nod. She cleaned up Olivia’s face and told you that she would wake up soon. You thanked her and she quickly examined you and made sure that you were alright. She told you that you will be okay, that you just had some bruising and you will be sore for a week or two. You thanked her again and a loud voice called her and she went back to the door and she went out. Someone turned off the lights and the room was pitch black, then someone turned on the heat and the both of you were covering in sweat, and this went on for who knows how long.

~ flashback over ~

You were brought back to a gun being shot near you and you quickly shot at the person who was trying to shoot you. Olivia came rushing to you with backup behind her. “Y/n! What the hell happened?” She said sternly as she grabbed your weapon from you and scanned you over to make sure that you were safe. “I-I don’t know…I blacked out…” you explained to her and she gave you a disappointing look. “You could have gotten killed!” She yelled and started massaging her head. You sighed “I’m sorry…I just got distracted but it won’t happen again.” You try to explain to her but she wasn’t having any of it. She couldn’t take the chance of someone getting hurt or worse, you getting hurt.

“Go home y/n…” she said sternly but with a hint of gentleness to it. Your eyes widen and a look of hurt crossed your face and she noticed it. It hurt her to do this to you but she didn’t have any other choice. “Please y/n go…and call me when you get home. That’s an order.” She demanded and you walked by her, hitting her shoulder on purpose as you walked home in the night. Olivia hates that she sent you home but there was no way in hell you were going to get hurt as your mind isn’t in the right headspace right now.

~ flashback ~

It feels like it’s been years since we’ve been abducted here, but in reality it’s probably only been a couple of days. Everyday we would get beat up and tortured, apparently one of the men knew Olivia. She sent this guy away for rape and child abuse and he swore he would get his revenge out for Olivia. He wasn’t going to take you but he thought y’all were together because the both of you seemed really close, so he decided to take you as well.

You were in and out of consciousness when you heard gunshots and screaming. You tried to stay awake and see what was happening but you were so sleepy… you tried to look over at Olivia but found people around her. You looked up to see munch, and fin surrounding y’all. Munch and fin helped Olivia up on her feet but she was wobbly as she was trying to walk, so munch let her use him to walk. You smiled weakly at her, knowing that she is safe now and closed your eyes, but you didn’t wake up. “No! Y/n!” Olivia screamed out and fin immediately picked your limp body in his arms and ran outside where the ambulance is.

When you woke up, you were in a hospital bed. Blinking a few times, you looked over to see Olivia wide awake in her own hospital bed beside yours. “O-Olivia…” you called out to her weakly. “Y/n…hey.” She rasped out as she smiled at you. “Did they catch the people who abducted us?” You asked her and she nodded her head yes as you sighed in relief. “It’s over now y/n”.

~ flashback over ~

You launched forward in bed and looked around the room hurriedly. It felt like your heart was beating out of your chest and you couldn’t breath. Since Olivia sent you home, you’ve been having terrible nightmares about the few days y’all were trapped. You breathed in and out slowly and focused on Olivia. She always makes you calm, especially when you have your panic attacks. She was always there since she knew how to help you as she was the only person you trusted and who could help you from it, But a sudden knock from the door made you confused and a little scared.

You got up from your bed with only in your tank top and short shorts, you walked to your front door and open it to reveal your captain. “Olivia? What are you doing here?” You asked her confused. “It’s been days y/n and you haven’t called me at all to let me know you are okay.” She explained to you and you stepped aside for her to enter your apartment. She went in and looked around your place “it’s nice. Seems comfy.” She said and you looked at her awkwardly. “Uh…thanks?” You said and she sighed. “Y/n…what’s been going on with you recently? Ever since what happened when we got kid-.” She was interrupted by the haunted look on your face as she mentioned the incident and her heart immediately broke in pieces at the look you gave her.

“Y/n….” She said and got closer to you and you whimpered out. “I-I’m sorry okay! I’m sorry I haven’t been a good detective recently! My mind won’t stop replaying the memories and moments in my head. I keep seeing you get beaten and tortured!. And while you were unconscious…he came in and raped me…h-he wouldn’t stop! He kept saying how this is going to hurt you…he thought we were together. He wanted his revenge and this was one of them!” You cried out as you kept talking. “Do you know how hard it was seeing you in so much pain? I couldn’t do anything to help you! Watching the woman I love get beaten repeatedly to the point where you were barley conscious and hearing the boys talk shit about you and how the guy who raped me said how he fucked your girlfriend.” You said and Olivia gave you a shocked look. You looked at her with a confused expression until it hit you like a bus. You just claimed to your boss that you were in love with her. Fuck.

“Oh God…I-I’m so sorry Olivia! F-forget what I s-said I-I’m sorry…” you said as you started hyperventilating. You got on your knees and was panting hard. Olivia instantly got down on the ground with you and put you in her strong arms. “Hey hey shhhh sweetheart it’s okay…” she said trying to reassure you but you just kept crying and apologizing to her. She can’t believe that you just told her that you loved her. She didn’t think you were interested let alone love her. She had her eye on you ever since y’all become friends all those years ago and now…she knows that you have the same feelings for her like she has with you.

“Y/n. Sweetheart look at me.” She softly demanded and you sniffled as you looked up in her brown eyes. “I love you too…I’ve had for years. That’s why I’m always so protective and insisting that I go with you everywhere. I’m in love with you y/f/n.” Olivia confessed to you and you swear you could pass out right then and there. “Y-you do? But what will t-the others think?” You said with a bit of worry hidden in your time. She gave you a soft smile and shook her head. “Almost everyone already knows. They see how I look and how I treat you. The only person who didn’t know was you.” She explained as you sniffled and gave her a goofy smile to which she laughed at. She rested her forehead against yours and held your body close to hers. “Will you be my girlfriend Angel?” She asked you softly and you nodded your head excitedly. “Yes of course! Captain.” You said giggling and hugging her tightly.

“Don’t worry darling. The bastards who hurt us will rot in prison for the rest of their life. That’s a guarantee on my behalf.” She reassured you and you hummed in acknowledgment as you nuzzled your face into her neck. She smiled down at you and continued to hold you in her arms.

A/n: whew, 1936 words. I hope the anon who requested this enjoys it! Remember to stay hydrated and to rest! I love y’all!

#olivia benson x fem!reader #olivia benson x you #olivia benson fluff #olivia benson one shot #olivia benson x reader #olivia benson headcanon #olivia benson #mariska hargitay x reader #mariska hargitay imagine #mariska hargitay #law and order fanfiction #law and order special victims unit #law and order svu #special victims unit #svu #l&o svu #svu fic

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specialvalentinesunit · 4 months

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#i need more calbarson in my life #plz fic writers im begging you #my favorite love triangles are the ones that end in threesomes #svu #incorrect quotes #law and order svu #incorrect svu #shitpost #textpost #olivia benson #rita calhoun #rafael barba #barson #barhoun #benhoun #calbarson

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multifandommilfs · 3 months

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The Jürgen Theory

Pairing: Olivia Benson x reader

Wc: 840

Fluff!

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At first, it was a drop of water on the car's windshield as you and Olivia advanced towards the suspect's address that was currently pinging on the GPS to swerve away from high-traffic areas.

In the passenger seat, you craned your neck so you could gauge the incoming weather. "I hope you're not getting your hopes up expecting rain in mid-July." Olivia said from the driver's seat nonchalantly.

You cast her a side eye, flopping back into your seat. "To live without hope is to cease to live. Stop being such a party popper Liv, it's been in the 80s°F since last week. A girl should hope for some rain before we all faint from heatstroke."

Olivia sputtered out a laugh. "Did you just quote me on Jürgen Moltmann? I can't believe I've been working with a nerd all this while."

Her verbal blow made you smack her on the arm as you made a face of faux offence. "You're calling me the nerd? I'm not the one who knew the quote was Yurgen's or whomever you said it was."

However, she knew from your perfect pronunciation of the theologian's name that you had begun to rage a banter. "Says you, I bet you even looked up the pronunciation. Any normal person would've said Yargen instead of Yurgen." She clocked on the blinkers, maneuvering the car into a neighbourhood as a few drops of rain splattered against the windshield.

"And the fact that you have that information makes you more of a nerd than I am." Your laugh barked out, luring hers out as well. "Touché." And the both of you were trying your best to contain the unending waves of laughter pouring out of your throats, knowing the debate was over at your catch.

Your eyes trailed out the window when the car pulled up at the sidewalk closest to the building, skimming for your suspect in case he wanted to get a headstart while Olivia double-checked the GPS for the right address. "You ready?" Her tone turned grave and you nodded, sliding out of the vehicle in tandem with her.

The rain was more compact now, hitting your face every few seconds and making you hope you'd have luck by your side to stay relatively dry until you got back to the unit.

It took a while to reach his apartment, but when you did, your suspect's fight-or-flight instincts took over as soon as you flashed your badge. He leapt out from the fire escape, forcing you to follow this trail as Olivia rounded the apartment building.

She skidded around the corner into the alleyway, just in time to witness your tumbling down the suspended ladder after the suspect, simultaneously dragging him down onto the rough concrete ground with your body weight.

It seemed to take a whole thousand raindrops bursting against your skin and soaking your clothes as you cuffed the innocent-screaming suspect before handing the guy over to Olivia who shoved him into the backseat by the top of his head.

"80s°F and raining; it looks like Jürgen is the winner here." You sent her a smug smile despite the shiver that crawled up your spine. "Whatever helps you sleep at night." She rolled her eyes in defeat, not trusting her teeth to not chatter and subsequently further your teasing.

She caught your winner's grin as she reared the car to life and you switched off the AC when you saw her fingers tremble as they gripped the steering, taking no consideration into the suspect more than pissed off objection.

Then it was all easy-going back to the unit when you and Olivia were sent back home due to a good job, late hours, and wet hair.

You two clocked out without a complaint, knowing Fin could finish off the interrogation better than two shivering wet detectives, one drier than the other but still on the same level of 'drenched to the core'.

It wasn't until you winded down for bed that you realised the trouble you both were in. "Don't tell me it is what I think it is." You slapped your hands on your face in bed when you sneezed for the third time that night, your back aching from the previous fall. It made you regret all the choices you made that morning.

"Looks like Jürgen doesn't have your back." Olivia laughed before succumbing to a fit of coughs, leaving you wheezing at her sickness's timely attack and puns.

"Yeah I'll bet he doesn't have yours either." You made an aggressive inhale, shifting up your pillow for a better angle of breath.

"And don't you even think about going to work tomorrow. I'm taking care of you." You continued, voice going snotty.

"Haven't you heard of survival of the fittest? We'll see who takes care of who tomorrow." Her flaunt made you smile wordlessly because despite her tough exterior, you already knew you'd be the one taking care of her tomorrow. She only proved you right when she let out another round of wet coughs.

#law and order special victims unit #law and order svu #law and order fanfiction #law and order svu fic #olivia benson x you #olivia benson x reader #olivia benson

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rqgnarok · 4 months

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leave a light on - nolan price

prequel for love you better now, but can be read individually

fandom: law & order, law & order special victims unit

wc: 4,735

warnings: canon presence of injuries, blood, violence, weapons, and hospitals. female reader.

summary: nolan's wife gets shot. he tries and fails to deal with that.

author's note below! masterlist / ko-fi / ao3

Nolan misses Liv’s call thrice before he calls for a recess.

The first two he’s stuck cross-examining the DA’s witness and he doesn’t realize how many times Liv has tried to get him on the phone until the third time she calls. He can’t answer, obviously– Judge MacNamara is lenient but not enough for Nolan to take a call in the middle of the day– but the call goes to voicemail and his screen lights up with Liv’s other attempts to reach him.

He immediately knows it’s bad. And he immediately knows it’s about his wife.

His chest constricts with his panic, breath catching and refusing to enter his lungs as his brain tries to catch up to the situation. The courtroom is suddenly too small and suffocating, his tie a noose around his neck.

It takes McNamara calling his name several times and the DA snidely wondering if the defense needs a minute for Nolan to somewhat snap out of it, pressing on Liv’s contact before the judge finishes adjourning for the day.

“Nolan,” she says, shaky.

Not Price, which is what he’d expect from his wife’s coworker. They’re all friends, sure, but during work hours they fall into the habit of keeping everyone at arm’s length. Not right now, for some reason, and Nolan is tiptoeing the line between fine and about to crumble on the courthouse steps from a knock-out panic attack.

“What happened?” Because something must’ve happened. His wife has one of the most dangerous jobs out there, life-endangering experiences being the norm and coming home not-dead being a good day. But if Liv is calling– if Liv is calling and (Y/N) isn’t…

Nolan has been psyching himself up for this day since (Y/N) first told him about joining the police academy. He’s still somehow not ready.

He will never be ready for this.

Olivia hesitates for a second too long and Nolan’s fear gets the best of him. “Olivia. What happened?”

Her voice cracks at (Y/N)’s name. Nolan grips his briefcase so tightly on the way to the hospital that his hand goes numb, nails digging into the skin of his palm until it’s red and tender.

The knot of anxiety in his belly doesn’t unclench despite the quick, easy ride to the hospital. New York traffic seems to be doing him a favor, but it isn’t the physical distance he’s worried about. That one at least he’s able to cross. There’s nothing he can do if his wife is… if she…

Nolan finds a sea of cops and NYPD blue as soon as he crosses the threshold into Bellevue, worried and talking over each other as they watch over one of their injured own. None of them are familiar faces and his panic increases tenfold, the sound of his heartbeat in his ears drowning out doctors, officers, and detectives.

Suddenly, the sea of people parts for her, and Olivia is in his line of sight, giving Nolan’s brain something to focus on other than the never-ending possibilities of what he might be facing here. She looks disheveled, shirt askew and vest still halfway on; her hair out of place, and her expression haunted, but no blood. There’s no blood on her and it's an important distinction for Nolan to make when she seizes his free hand in hers.

“Nolan,” she says, and her voice sounds like static, just like it did on the phone. It isn’t the line but Nolan’s brain filled with noise, like cotton in his ears and mouth and eyes stopping him from receiving the world clearly. “Nolan, are you okay?”

“What happened?” he asks again. Liv hadn’t explained, not really. She only told him that (Y/N) was hurt and they were taking her to Bellevue. You should come too, she’d said, and should had sounded more like need, which did nothing to soothe Nolan’s raising hackles.

Nolan’s breath stutters. He knows what happened, but he can’t comprehend it. The hand holding his briefcase is shaking. He asks once more when Liv only blinks at him, mouth open and no words coming out. “What happened?”

“We were chasing a suspect via foot,” and Nick’s there, too, by Liv’s side, like an apparition Nolan might’ve conjured. His brows are furrowed, jaw tense. “We caught him mid-rape and separated to cover more ground. No one had mentioned a gun during their disclosures, he wasn’t supposed to be armed.”

“(Y/N) caught up to him first,” Liv continues, voice dry, shaking her head. “He– Shots went off but we didn’t know– he must’ve known we were onto him. Got his hands on a gun after the first wave of assaults.”

Nolan bites the inside of his cheek. He tastes blood and thinks of his wife, and stops.

“She was alone for two minutes tops,” Nolan wonders if Liv thinks she’s being reassuring. “She’d been shot, we called a bus right away.”

“Where?” Nolan asks tightly.

Liv blinks. Nick answers, “What?”

“Where, where in her body was she shot, how–” he struggles for a full breath and only comes out half successful. “How bad is it?”

Silence.

“Did you– did you not see her?” he wonders, biting. Nolan turns back and forth between his wife’s coworkers, losing his patience. “Were you there, was she– Jesus, Liv, how bad is it?”

“The bullet hit her chest,” Nolan loses all fiery, defensive passion right then and there. His own heart stops for a second, or at least that’s what it feels like when his chest is engulfed by a pressing ache that numbs him all over.

“They took her straight into surgery,” Nick continues when Nolan doesn’t say anything to that, unable to leave his partner to the wolves. “Liv rode with her in the ambulance but there wasn’t– it’s in their hands now. They’re taking care of her, pal, okay? She’s getting help.”

Where was the help when she was alone chasing after a fucking criminal, where the hell were you, huh he wants to say; wants to shout and curse and point and make a scene, but the words get stuck in his throat and in the next blink he finds himself seated in the waiting room, still surrounded by cops.

God, Nolan thinks, pressing his fingers to his tightly closed lids. When, in their fifteen years of knowing each other, could he have seen this coming? The bright-eyed, furiously righteous kid halfway through law school and the pretty girl who took one of his classes as an elective, only to completely destroy one of his classmates during a debate that made up half their grade.

Nolan had watched, mouth barely open in amazement as quiet, back-of-the-class (Y/N) didn’t flinch while delivering the final blow and bringing her team to victory. She snuck out before he could talk to her– do something stupid like congratulate her with stars in his eyes and an invitation for coffee on his tongue, but it didn’t matter.

It didn’t matter because the next weekend his roommate dragged him to a party and she was there, she was everywhere now that Nolan was unconsciously looking out for her. He ran into her in the hallways from one class to another, in the library, at parties and restaurants. It was like the world was screaming at him here! Here, look this way! Here it is, the rest of your life waiting for you! All you gotta do is look!

He’d been there for hours already, bored and annoyed out of his mind when he saw her across the room. After nursing the same red cup of warm beer and looking at his watch every couple of minutes, calculating the appropriate time to bail he saw her. She’d been leaning against a wall, her expression changing from concealed humor to disbelief to a laugh that had her hiding behind her hand, entertained by whoever she’d been speaking to.

Who it was, Nolan doesn’t remember. He doesn’t even think about the cliche of it all, how the world faded when their eyes locked across the room and (Y/N) gave him a smile, shy, shrugging and turning back to her conversation.

The funny pressure on his chest didn’t dissipate when he finally got a chance to exchange words with her. After the final exam, Nolan left the lecture hall and sat heavily on a bench by the door, catching his breath from the adrenaline of a month worth of study finally being over.

(Y/N) was there, too, smiling sheepishly up at him as she crouched against the wall, elbows on her knees. Her expression brims with shy recognition as she nods. “How’d you do?”

She was talking about the exam. Nolan’s embarrassed to this day by the time it took for him to catch up. His cheeks were flushed when he answered. “I’m, uh, not flushing out yet, I hope.”

“You don’t sound too sure.”

“Ask me after I’ve slept some 12 hours,” he sighed, messing nervously with his hair. “Things usually seem less dire by then.”

“Would some coffee do the trick?” and Nolan didn’t know it then, but (Y/N) was nervous, bravery swelling inside her chest as she asked him for the first day of the rest of their lives. In the end, she’d been the one to catch up to all the signs, all the serendipitous opportunities to finally end up where they were supposed to.

“Coffee can work,” Nolan, young and eager, said slowly. He couldn’t stop grinning, high with lack of sleep and the attention of a pretty girl. “You’re buying?”

“It’s only fair,” she shrugged, but there was something giddy about her expression that he still sees in her face to this day sometimes, bright and young. “You look like you’re about to drop dead.”

“And I still seem like worthy company?”

“I think we can pull a few good hours out of you yet,” a few hours, a few years; Nolan will be as sleepless as he was then on his wedding day out of pure excitement. They’ll have spent the night before the ceremony talking on the phone while they slept in separate rooms because their friends are sentimental little fucks like that and wouldn’t let him even kiss her goodbye before the big day.

He’d described the few hours apart as agony in his vows, had made the crowd laugh and (Y/N) cry with the sentiment, and he wishes he hadn’t now. He shouldn’t have said a damned thing, shouldn’t have manifested any sort of agony into their lives because now the illusion cuts off sharply, and then he’s back in the waiting room, a nurse calling (Y/N)’s name while he plays with his wedding ring and bites the inside of his cheek, staring blankly into the hallway.

Liv’s still there for some reason, as are some other officers and Amaro, while the others hunt down the man who landed their friend in the hospital. Munch had snapped at the Captain when he told him he couldn’t stay. Fin had to lead Amanda out of the hospital by the shoulders, too stricken to do it herself.

Liv and Amaro stand when they hear the nurse but it takes Nolan a few moments to gather himself back together enough to pay attention. She tells them, gently, “She’s out of surgery. She lost a lot of blood, but only some of the bullet’s fragments hit her heart. It was touch and go but the doctor was able to extract all of them.”

Nolan’s lungs open up and he gets the first full breath washing over his body since Liv called. He must make a sound, because the attention in the room shifts to him, suffocating and inquisitive. His vision blurs for a second, not because of tears but adrenaline, his heartbeat pumping in his ears.

“She’s extremely lucky,” she continues, and she’s looking right at Nolan when she says this, like it's supposed to help. Like that’s what luck means, almost-but-not-quite bleeding out while your heart is stitched up back together. “Most people with injuries like this don’t even make it past the ambulance.”

Nolan closes his eyes in anguish. He presses his closed fists against his forehead, elbows on his knees, back hunched. It’s almost like he’s trying to disappear into himself, away from the image of an ambulance opening its doors when arriving at the hospital only to be met with his flatlining wife, the sound echoing through his brain and overriding every other of his senses.

“There’s still a long way to go,” she continues, softer, realizing she’s hit a nerve. She turns to Liv and Nick, who are paying rapt attention even as Nick walks close to him to put a hand on Nolan’s shoulder, tight and steady. “She won’t wake up anytime soon. Her body needs rest and to recuperate from the most acute of her injuries. And the doctor would like to talk about next steps once she does.”

Next steps, Nolan thinks. Next steps, the only next steps he’s aware of are those that lead to his wife, the nurse walking him to her room. Olivia and Amaro trail behind him like a couple of guard dogs, standing alert for any sign of Nolan backing out or collapsing into his grief.

He just might. He feels queasy, nauseous with exhaustion and worry. But then he sees his wife, and, really, nothing else matters.

“Sweetheart,” he says, devastated, walking to her bed across the hospital room. “Oh, honey.”

Despite his eagerness to touch her, Nolan flails when (Y/N)’s finally within arms reach. She looks asleep for one blissful, hopeful moment, but then Nolan blinks and the light settles; the ashiness of her skin, the uncomfortable placing of her body, the blank expression devoid of dreams or nightmares or consciousness.

He’d usually be embarrassed to have a witness to such a personal display of affection, but not even Liv and Nick standing tall at the door can stop Nolan from eventually cupping (Y/N)’s face in his hands and kissing the apple of her cheek, lingering and gentle. He’s afraid of touching the rest of her, of jostling her too badly, but the steady noise of the heart rate monitor is a constant, loud reminder that (Y/N) won’t fall apart that easily.

Liv and Nick linger behind him, talking quietly amongst themselves in sharp whispers. It might or might not be an argument, and in Nolan’s mind it feels like both an eternity and a couple of seconds. He would kick them out if he could gather the energy to care about it. Eventually, Benson takes a few apprehensive steps into the room, seemingly having lost whatever fight she and her partner were having.

“We’re on our way out,” she murmurs. “There’s a lead on our guy, the Captain’s calling us all back to the precinct. But if there’s anything…”

She trails off. Nolan doesn’t answer, studies instead the bridge of (Y/N)’s nose and the shape of her eyebrows, tries to count her eyelashes and catalog the bruises on her face. Liv sighs defeatedly and reaches for him.

“Whatever you need,” Liv says firmly with a hand on his arm. Still, her steady presence is undermined by the way she keeps looking at (Y/N) like she’s already attending a funeral. Nolan suddenly can’t stand her, even if she rode the ambulance with (Y/N) to the hospital and kept her semi-conscious until the doctors took her off her hands. “We’re here for you, alright? All of us, Nolan. I’m serious.”

“Thanks,” he says, voice rough and cracked from swallowing down his panic and tears. He clears his throat but it does little to clear up his words. “Thank you, Liv. For everything.”

Her lips tighten in an unpleased line, but she nods and leaves the room with one last squeeze to his shoulder. He’s being ungrateful, the fact doesn’t escape him. Liv’s the one who found her, who held her hand in the ambulance before they drove her off to surgery. Nolan owes Benson his life.

The thought alone makes him so nauseous he has to clench his eyes shut, jaw tight, entire body trembling. God, what would he have done? What will he do, if something happens to (Y/N)? She isn’t out of the woods yet and if something goes wrong, if her body decides to cave in, if the wound gets infected, if there’s something they didn’t catch, if, if, if, if–

He lifts his head and catches his wife’s face, lax and motionless. Once again, the panic settles. He hasn’t gotten the chance to let it unfold the way it needs to.

“I finally got you on your own,” Nolan says, soft, careful not to disturb the semblance of peace in the room. (Y/N) doesn’t answer, no matter how badly Nolan wants her to. “You’re very popular. A tough one to find these days, you know.”

She wasn’t even supposed to be in today. Cragen had called mere hours after they’d gone to bed– at the same time for the first time in weeks– and Nolan had done his best to stay up after the phone rang and (Y/N) began quickly getting ready. She’d kneeled next to his side of the bed and Nolan had leaned in to kiss her without thought, an automatic notion he wishes he’d paid more attention to now.

I’ll call you when I can, she nudged her nose against his temple before pressing a kiss there. Nolan had already been half asleep at that point. Love you.

Love you back, Nolan mumbled, jutting his chin forward blindly. One more.

He continues as if (Y/N) had spoken. “You’ve got half of the NYPD out there waiting on you. The nurses are rioting, but I don’t think anyone’ll leave until you wake up.”

Nolan’s voice loses the battle, it breaks right at the end of his sentence and so does his composure, eyes burning with tears that for some goddamned reason just won’t fall.

“Please,” he begs to the sky, to God, to no one. “Please, please, please. Wake up.”

He presses his forehead to his wife’s limp hand maybe a little too harshly. Even if the skin is cold and her grip is nonexistent, the relief the touch brings Nolan has him sobbing.

An hour ago she was in surgery, out of reach and sight even if she was already getting help.

Three hours ago she was bleeding out in some alleyway in Queens, struggling for her radio to call for help. Seven hours ago she was kissing him goodbye, smiling against his mouth despite the dark nature of the sudden case because Nolan kept pulling her in for one more kiss.

One more, one more, one more, his pleads begs now. Wake up and give me one more, sweetheart, come on now.

“Please, honey,” he whispers, wet and nasal with emotion. “I’m not ready for this. I’m not ready yet, I didn’t– I don’t–”

The words don’t come. Nolan chokes, holds (Y/N)’s hand in his own, and breathes, breathes, and breathes.

—

Life moves on.

Nolan doesn’t cry. God knows why, but he can’t, his body on automatic while his mind solely focuses on (Y/N)’s condition. The nurses know him by name and he makes record time to the apartment and back to the hospital for showers and quick naps, some food for the little appetite he has.

He doesn’t even think to be offended when his boss places him on indefinite leave. Nolan can’t bring himself to care, he would’ve stacked up every sick day and vacation time available to stay at (Y/N)’s side as much as he could anyway.

The squad offers to stand guard almost daily, which Nolan appreciates, but his object permanence has gone to shit. Whenever he doesn’t have eyes on (Y/N) his panic rises again like a tidal wave, never quite crashing but dwindling whenever he sits next to her at the hospital, hand on her ankle or arm or somewhere he can easily look for her pulse, weak but steady.

It’s desperate, he knows, and more than a little pathetic, but Nolan feels like he’s allowed. Until (Y/N) wakes up to tell him he’s been worrying over nothing he will do as he pleases.

He talks to her. It’s another coping method that borders on delusion but no one has called him out of it yet. Not even Liv and Amaro, who have caught him more than once speaking quietly into the lull of the hospital room, holding his wife’s hand and drawing soothing motions with his thumb against her skin.

Mom drove into the steps again. The ones in the driveway? They were already loose from last time and now she has Dad driving through every Home Depot in North Carolina to find the right match.

Jill sends her best. Last time I saw her she was talking my ear off about her kid’s college fund. Apparently her husband lost half of it during Tuesday night with the boys, whatever that means.

Munch says he owes you 20 bucks from the Giants game from two weeks ago? Which is weird, because you haven’t watched a full game since, like, ‘02. Not like you’re missing anything, but still, your accuracy to outsmart Munch in his own line of work is pretty outstanding.

It helps. Or it helps enough; whenever he ventures over what they’ll do once she’s awake and at home together the illusion breaks and so does Nolan’s voice. He trails off, feeling foolish, the weight of his delusion pressing on his chest.

“It’s not silly,” Munch tells him during one of his visits, the book he’s been reading to (Y/N) resting on his lap. “It’s helpful and it doesn’t hurt anyone. You’re talking to your wife. If I’d done more of that back in my day then maybe I’d still be married.”

“To which one?” Nolan asks, his lips tingling with the want to almost smile.

Munch points at him as if saying yahtzee. “Exactly.”

He’s so sure it calms Nolan more than you’d expect. So far Munch is the only other person who talks about (Y/N) like she’s still alive and thus, the only one who doesn’t make inexplicable helpless rage wash over Nolan whenever they’re in the same room.

He’s the one with him when (Y/N) wakes. She does so in a panic, waking Nolan up from his uncomfortable sleep in the chair next to her bed. It’s a sudden flail after another as her heart rate monitor goes crazy and she doesn’t answer any call of her name, terrified and in pain.

It’s awful. Nolan doesn’t think he’ll ever forget how she almost tears at her stitches mid her panic while doctors and nurses gather around her and kick Nolan out with quick accuracy. There’s nothing he can do to help and he knows it, but he’s never supposed to be in a position in which he can’t help her.

He’s doomed to watch from a glass window, helpless, as his wife suffers without anyone to reach out to.

She woke up but had to be sedated, a nurse tells him after, it’s normal for patients to be unaware of their surroundings after waking up from long periods of unconsciousness. We still haven’t been able to determine neurological damage, so we’ll have to wait until it wears off.

“Kid, kid, hey,” Munch says, oddly alarmed after coming back from the cafeteria with two coffees and finding Nolan sitting outside (Y/N)’s room, crying into his knees. “What’s wrong, what happened? I was gone for fifteen minutes–”

Nolan tries to explain but the words get caught up in his throat, his grief taking over his sense of logic. She woke up, he meant to say. She woke up and she didn’t know where she was and I stood by like an idiot to watch her suffer.

After he’s talked down from a panic attack he says, voice a mere croak. “She woke up. They don’t know– but she woke up.”

Munch sighs, visibly relieved as he squats next to Nolan, squeezing his shoulder in support. “Good. That’s good, hey– Nolan. That’s good, okay? That’s one step closer to getting her back. This is good.”

He repeats those words to himself like a mantra. This is good, this is good, this is good, and doesn’t dare to close his eyes for something other than blinking until (Y/N)’s conscious. It’s hours later, deep into the night when she opens her eyes again, groggy and disoriented, blinking into the dark hospital room.

“Honey,” he says, quiet and so, so relieved. (Y/N) doesn’t appear to hear him and a flash of fear seizes his heart. He presses the button and calls for a nurse, edging closer to the bed. “(Y/N/N). Hey, honey, you with me?”

Arduously slowly, (Y/N) follows the sound of his voice. She blinks at him, gulping and saying, dry as the Sahara. “Nole.”

It’s the most glorious thing he’s ever heard. The smile that pulls at his mouth is unconscious, ripped from him almost against his will. He goes to touch her face, hands shaky and reverent. “Yeah. Yeah, sweetheart, it’s me.”

He offers her a drink and grips her hand all through the nurse’s examination, which she passes with flying colors. While she’s tinkering with her IV, (Y/N) asks him, “Bellevue?”

“Yeah,” he says grimly, thumb rubbing soothing motions against her skin, trying to infuse some warmth.

“Shot?” she wonders next.

Nolan hesitates. “You don’t remember?”

“Guessin’,” she slurs, tired, blinks getting longer each time she closes her eyes.

The nurse pipes up then with the same explanations she’s given Nolan the past few weeks: the bullet to her heart, the long-lasting surgery, and the even longer coma. (Y/N) nods in all the right places but her head rests against the pillow and her expression remains blank, like she’s not retaining any information.

“Anyone… else?” she asks.

“No,” Nolan responds, watching how tension falls off her frame when he confirms this fact. He wishes he felt the same, a selfish part of him wishes it had been someone else; Liv or Amaro or Fin here in this hospital bed instead of his wife. It’s true, even if the thought is followed by guilt. “No, everyone’s fine, honey. Working their asses off and worried out of their minds, but okay. It’s just you.”

(Y/N) hums and then promptly falls back asleep, breaths settling into an even rhythm. It’s then that his eyes water and his tears fall on the scratchy hospital sheets where (Y/N) lays. Oh, Nolan thinks, almost surprised by them. So this is what it takes.

Nolan bows his head and lets himself cry in silence. His breath keeps hitching, and the nauseating feeling of panic he’s been nursing for weeks finally explodes. He can’t feel his hands and feet, body numb all over.

The next time he looks up, hours later, is because (Y/N)’s reaching to touch his face, tender and shaky. He snaps to attention like a soldier called to his battalion, but there’s no trouble chasing after them, no bad thing happening for once. They’re okay, alone and safe in her hospital room while nurses and doctors and visitors keep passing by just outside the door.

“You haven’t slept,” (Y/N) croaks out as she drops her hand from where she’d been gently pressing at the bags under Nolan’s eyes, tired from that simple movement. Her chest rises and falls with breaths that are a little too labored, but her eyes are fixed on her husband, worried. “Nole.”

It almost makes him smile: (Y/N) worrying about other people while she lies with a hole in her heart on a hospital bed. Nolan would laugh if he were sure it wouldn’t immediately turn into crying again, but there’s nothing funny about this. Nothing.

“‘m alright,” he promises, weak and croaky and wet from previous cries. (Y/N) looks a little too out of it, but also like she doesn’t believe him for a moment. He amends: “I will be. And so will you. You’re gonna be okay, honey.”

happy new year!!! i wanted to start the year giving you a little something after being so absent the last couple of months and i've had this piece in my drafts for ages! it was originally waaay longer but i thought i'd end it on a happy note and maybe make a part two if anyone's interested?

anyway! i hope you guys enjoy what has become one of my favorite pairings to write and i hope you had a good time last night and a great 2024! thank you for reading!

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cissyenthusiast010155 · 4 months

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Bye Bi Bottom ~(s1)!Olivia Benson xFem SVUDetective!Reader

Summary— You, Jeffries, and Munch have a little debate about Olivia…

Mommy… Master List

Requests & Prompt-List

Warnings: implied smut, fluff, kissing, top/bottom relations, betting, light teasing, etc.

Enjoy (;

“What are you saying, do you hear yourself…??” You quietly exclaimed, sitting across from John in the SVU station.

Munch threw his hands up in defense, which you quickly swatted back down to not draw attention.

“I’m just saying…,” Munch defended his claim, “Olivia… she might be top with men, Cassidy being the perfect example, but she is not one with women…”

“Are you calling Olivia a bottom, Detective…?” You whispered harshly, “She’d have your head, you know…” you warily chuckled.

“But that doesn’t mean I’m wrong!” Munch exclaimed.

The last bit was a tad too loud unfortunately…

“Wrong about what?” Monique chimed in.

You groaned lightly, putting your hands in front of your face. You couldn’t believe this. John was quick to fill Monique in.

“Hey.” Monique said, swatting you with the file in her hand, making you look up at her from your seat, “Just ask her” she said with a mischievous smirk.

Monique said it like there was nothing to it. Like it couldn’t crush all the time you spent cultivating a professional relationship with the woman. It wasn’t that easy. Or was it…?

“Fine…” You groaned again, “I’ll ask.”

Both Monique and Munch seemed far too happy with your decision, but you didn’t have the time or headspace to think about that right now.

As five pm came around, the team started to go home. You caught Olivia on her way out of the station.

To yo ur delight, the woman happily agreed to drinks down the street. You too walked down the road to the bar together, and pretty soon, you were sat inside and sipping on some drinks.

Talking seemed to come naturally, and you to talked late into the night. Before you knew it, it was 11pm. And you still couldn’t pin point the whole reason you had asked Olivia out in the first place. It was bugging you.

But before you could even ask, the two do you were leaving the bar and about to split to go your separate ways home. Suddenly, you felt the intense urge to kiss Olivia. Before the woman could walk away, you pulled her into a kiss. She gasped, but quickly reciprocated.

After a few minutes you pulled away, and her eyes told you everything.

“I’d like to take you home…” you breathed out.

Olivia bit her lips and her cheeks went a little red.

“I’d like that…” she confessed in a whisper.

~~~

The next morning you were at the station bright and early as usual. Munch and Jeffries had been giving you suggestive glances and gazes all morning, which you simply ignored. You weren’t going to give them anything.

However, when Olivia walked into the station, late and limping, they had their answer.

Monique seemed a little vexed as she handed John cash after Olivia had walked away for the moment. John couldn’t help but chuckled lightly.

“Wait… What was that…?” You said in a low tone, not wanting to be overheard.

Munch waves the money around with a grin.

“Did you… did you bet on me…??” You said with shock and awe.

“Yep.” He said proudly, “and by the way Olivia unsuccessfully walked into the station, I won.”

Your face went a little red at his words, thinking back to the night before.

~~~

Olivia Benson Masterlist

#olivia benson #olivia benson x reader #mariska hargitay #law and order special victims unit #law and order svu #law & order special victims unit #law & order svu #law and order fanfiction #law and order fic #Olivia Benson fluff

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oneshotnewbie · 2 months

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A oneshot where Olivia's daughter starts breaking sown cause she feels like she isnt important in her mom's life since she's been working alot on a case lately.

ᕚ---ᕘ

The city was immersed in a noisy backdrop as you entered the New York Police Department station, your heart slightly trembling. It had been a while since you had visited your mother, Captain Olivia Benson, in person, and you couldn't wait to surprise her and spend time with her.

The smell of coffee and freshly printed reports permeated the air as you strolled through the busy hallways of the precinct. The uniformed officers and detectives busily working at their desks only gave you fleeting glances as they focused on their own tasks. You quickly walked to the office, but before you had the chance to meet your mother there, you were stopped by an unexpected apparition.

Through the stream of officers and witnesses coming and going, an energetic woman with short brown hair and a serious expression on her face walked toward you. It was none other than Olivia. You opened your mouth to greet her, a big smile on your lips and a glint in your eyes. "Hey, mom!"

"Hey, baby. Sorry, gotta go. Another case." The brunette spoke, swinging her phone in the air while her eyes were trained on you. She quickly gave you a quick kiss on the temple, scurring past you with Finn.

You stopped and watched your mother move around the room, conferring with her colleagues and giving instructions before she completely disappeared from your sight. A feeling of disappointment washed over you. You had been so looking forward to spending time with her, surprising her and maybe even hearing a few stories from her exciting day. But now she didn't seem to have any time for you. Like so often lately.

With a heavy heart, you turned away and made your way to Olivia's office. The door was open and as you walked in, you collapsed onto the sofa. The tears you had been holding back only began to flow uncontrollably down your cheeks. The disappointment that your mother was so busy that she didn't even notice that she hadn't really seen you in a few days was overshadowed by an overwhelming feeling of loneliness.

Just then, you heard footsteps outside the office, quickly wiping tears from your eyes and looked up. You immediately saw the face of Amanda, who walked in with an empathetic look and closed the door behind her. "Hey," she said softly, immediately placing a reassuring hand on your shoulder. "What's going on?"

You sniffled and tried to hold back your tears, but it was in vain. "It's just.. my mom. I thought I could surprise her and spend time with her, but she's busy with work.." Amanda sighed and pulled you into a big hug. "I'm sorry it turned out that way. But you know how Liv is. She takes her work very seriously. It doesn't mean she doesn't love you, if that's what you think."

You nodded slowly, even though your tears continued to fall. You knew your mother's best friend was right, but it was still hard to accept. You longed for her attention and affection that you were able to experience so often in your childhood.

The detective gently rubbed your back as she sat down next to you. "Hey, why don't we go get something to eat? Maybe we can spend some time together and I can distract you? I'm on break now."

A faint smile crossed your face as you leaned against Amanda. "That sounds like a good idea." You replied and left Olivia's office together. Even though you still craved your mother's attention, you also realized that Amanda was another important figure in your life who loved and supported you like her own children.

The blonde gently pulled you out of the captain's office through the busy hallways of the precinct. Her heart broke as she watched the tears continue to roll down your face. She could practically feel the pain bubbling inside you, but she also knew that at least she was there to support you in this moment.

She led you to a quieter area of the station, away from the hectic activity and prying eyes of the other officers, eventually taking you to the breakroom, far enough away from the main traffic areas to provide some privacy.

Amanda pulled out a chair and sat you down on it as she sat next to you and wrapped an arm around your shoulder, gently pulling you close once more. "It'll be okay, sweetheart," she whispered comfortingly. "I am here for you."

A sob escaped your lips, but the hug from the blonde brought you some comfort. You felt safe in her arms, as if the loneliness couldn't tear you apart inside as long as she was with you.

"Why doesn´t she have much time for me? She's just here from morning to night. I don't see her before I go to bed and when I get up in the morning she's no longer there either.." you asked with a trembling voice while you wrapped your arms around her middle and hid your head in her side.

Amanda sighed softly. She knew there was no easy answer to this question. "Your mother.. she has a lot of responsibility as captain of SVU. Sometimes her work takes up so much of her time that she forgets about everything else. But that doesn't mean she doesn't love you, y/n. She does. Deeply inside I know she does."

You nodded again, but the pain in your eyes was still clear. "I know she has a lot to do, but sometimes.. sometimes I just feel so alone. Like that time in nursing home."

The detective sighed and hugged you even tighter, both arms now wrapped around your body. "You're not alone, y/n. You have me. You have Finn, Kat and Carisi. And you have your mother, even if it doesn't seem like it sometimes. We are a family, and we will always be there for each other."

You played tensely with your shaky fingers, leaning on Amanda, grateful for her words and support. It felt good to know that you had someone who cared about you, even when Olivia wasn't available.

Time passed slowly as you and Amanda sat there, side by side, in your little oasis of peace. But eventually the silence was broken by the sound of quick footsteps approaching. You looked up and saw your mother rushing through the door. Her eyes widened in surprise when she saw that you had been crying. She quickly rushed to you, her expression worried, before kneeling in front of you and her hands finding their way to your knees. "What happened? Is everything okay?"

The blonde slowly pulled away from you, seeing the urge to pull away to give the mother-daughter conversation its space. "It's okay, Liv. She just needed someone to be there for her. I stayed with her." she smiled at her boss and best friend.

Olivia breathed a sigh of relief and looked you straight in the eyes. "Why were you crying, my darling?" She asked you, pulling your head onto her shoulder, her fingers starting to rub gentle circles on your lower back. "You don't have time for me anymore. You're here all the time and I'm always alone at home. You come home late, go to work early. Have you noticed that we haven't really seen each other or had a meaningful conversation in almost a week?"

Your voice was choked with tears, a large lump forming in your throat as you found it difficult to swallow. Your mother inhaled sharply and let out a sigh. "I'm sorry I was so busy honey," she spoke carefully, pulling away from you to lift your head with her fingers under your chin. "I promise you that after today, I'll put Finn in charge and take a week off, okay?"

You smiled weakly and placed your arms gently around your mother's neck. It felt good to finally feel your mother's closeness, even if it was just for a moment. You knew it wouldn't be easy dealing with your her work schedule since becoming captain, but you knew that not only Olivia loved you, but the entire SVU family too.

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mcbenson25 · 3 months

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Unspoken Bonds (Olivia Benson X Friend! Reader, Rafael Barba X Reader)

Request: Hello, there! I would like to request an Olivia Benson x Friend!Reader were reader and some friends in the alley near Olivia's apartment building. One day, after a fight with her boyfriend, reader is drinking beer in the spot she usually hangs out at, and Olivia talks her into going back into the apartment. They talk, and Olivia cooks her dinner. Olivia asks reader to join her some other time.

A/N: This request has been tweaked with the boyfriend but not boyfriend just someone the reader has been crushing on being Barba and the fight being him leaving the squad after his trial! I hope you like it so sorry it took so long!

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The air in the alley was usually welcoming. The hushed whispers, the laughter.

Today it seemed quiet. Tense.

You walked, a frown on you face as you rushed into the bar. You were not by any means a drinker, but you always came with the squad to drink after a case.

You sighed. There was no one here today and you needed a drink.

Or two or three.

Earlier in the day, a heated argument had erupted between you and Rafael. He was found not guilty and yet instead of celebrating you found yourself even more upset.

He wanted to leave. Leave the DA's office. Leave the squad.

Leave you.

It angered you how you had supported him from the moment he pulled the plug and it had all been for nothing. The weight of the disagreement lingered heavily in the air as you found yourself drowning another drink.

You loved him.

Not that he knew, of course. To him, you were just a friend. Just a really good friend he would call every morning, text every night, laugh with, go on vacations with.

Just a friend.

The whole squad knew you had feeling for him beyond a silly crush. You hadn't wanted to tell him. You were certain he didn't have the same feelings for you. If he did he would have already made a move by now. It had been years since you had met. So many coffee meet-up, trial victory dinners and late night movies.

You scowled as you asked the bartender for another one, not noticing someone eyeing you from across the bar.

Olivia, ever perceptive, noticed the turmoil in your eyes when you walked into the bar. She decided to give you some space but kept a watchful eye. As the night wore on and the three drink became six it became apparent that you weren't going to bounce back from this one easily. Olivia knew how much you cared for Barba. She knew the how upset you were. From the moment you had come back from the courthouse and left with you jacket without saying a word, Olivia knew something was wrong. A call from Rafael confirmed her suspicions. Lots of things were said, lots of unpleasant ones and Olivia listened as he pleaded her to check up on you.

Which led to her quietly approaching you.

"Mind if I join you?" she asked, her tone a careful mix of concern and warmth.

You looked up, offering a small, sad smile. "Hey, Liv. Yeah, sure."

The two of you settled into a quiet corner, away from the prying eyes and the buzzing conversations. Olivia, familiar with the unsaid language of pain, waited for you to open up.

"He wants to leave, Liv," you finally spoke, your voice barely above a whisper. "After everything that happened with the trial, he just wants to start fresh. I can't wrap my head around it, Liv. We fought, and I don't know what to do."

Olivia's eyes softened, understanding the weight of your words. "He's worried about you, you know?"

You rolled your eyes. "Of course he is," you said, sarcasm lacing your voice.

"Why haven't you told him?"

Your eyes went wide as you looked up. "Liv I can't."

"Why not?" Came the careful pry.

You felt something wet on your cheek and you touched it, realizing you were crying.

You were immediately engulfed by a caring warmth. Olivia held you, as the tears continued to flow freely down your face.

"Let's get out of here," she whispered into your ear as she called over the bartender to pay your tab

You nodded as you pulled away, as you tried to wipe your tears away. "No Liv let me pay-"

"No, I think you've gone through enough today." As she glanced down at the receipt she looked over at you and couldn't help but laugh as she passed you the bill.

You looked at it.

Holy shit. 200 bucks.

"Still want to pay?" She asked with a grin and you cracked, giggling as you shook your head.

Olivia finished paying and you tried to get up but immediately felt the weight of the drink your had.

This is why I don't get drunk.

Olivia helped you towards her car, laughing the whole way as you tried to walk in a straight line.

After a five minute struggle you managed to get into her car.

"Is it okay if we go to my place?" Olivia asked.

Feeling a sense of comfort in her offer, you agreed, allowing Olivia to guide you back to her apartment.

Inside, the apartment felt like a sanctuary. She made sure you were comfortable, offering a safe space for you to unload the burden you had been carrying.

"So why haven't you told him?"

You sighed and let out a deep breath. "I don't know Liv. He probably doesn't even feel the same way. We've been friends for years and he's never show any interest beyond our friendship."

Olivia nodded, the conversation beginning to sound awfully familiar. "You won't know unless you tell him. Would you really just let him leave without telling him?"

"I-I-I don't know. Maybe?" You tried, stuttering.

Olivia raised her eyebrows. "Seriously?"

You threw your hands up in defeat. "Liv come oooon! That's not fair."

Olivia shook her head, "It's not fair to either of you."

You were quiet.

After a while, sensing the need for a change of tone, Olivia suggested, "How about I cook us some dinner? A little distraction might do us good."

You managed a weak smile, appreciating the effort to get your mind off it.

-----------

As Olivia moved around the kitchen, getting everything on the stove, she felt her phone vibrate.

A text message.

'Is she okay?'- Rafa

Olivia wiped you hand on a towel as she peaked her head and saw you had picked a book off herself and had begun to read it. She sighed before texting Rafael back.

'Yes but you need to tell her!'

A minute passed before a reply came.

'I will.'- Rafa

She smiled as she looked up at you form on the couch, engrossed in the book, before getting back to dinner.

-------

As the smell of food filled your nose you began to lose interest in the book you had grabbed from Liv's bookshelf. You stood up and placed it back in its spot before walking to the window, looking out at the city below.

You sighed, rubbing your eyes. You knew you had acted childishly. You knew going to the bar wouldn't and hadn't solved any of your problems.

You knew you had to tell him.

You checked your phone, having putting it on silence after storming out of Rafael's office.

70 new text messages and 20 missed calls.

A new text appeared before you could open the others.

'I'm sorry for today. I hurt you and I need to see you. Let me make this right. Please let me see you.'- Raf <3

Your heart skipped a beat but before you could text back Olivia called out, "Dinner's ready."

As you sat down to eat, the taste of Olivia's homemade dinner mingled with the shared silence made you anxious. She glanced up as your leg bounced erratically under the table.

"Are you ok-"

"He asked to see me!" You blurted out.

Olivia tried to hide her smile as she nodded. "And?"

"I'm going to tell him." You said with determination.

Olivia took a drink from her wine. "That's great. I'm glad."

You smiled as you texted Rafael back as Olivia took another bite from her food, trying to keep her composure as she felt her phone go off.

'Thank you Liv. I owe you a million.'- Rafa

Olivia looked up grinning and you grinned back.

"See my food makes everything better!" She joked.

You laughed. "Thank you Liv. Honestly you're such a good friend."

"It's what I do," She said with a smile as she began to think how she would tell the squad tomorrow.

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Taglist: @wittysunflower, @rocknroll900

Sorry this request took forever. The writing slump was quite real. I hope you all liked it and please leave comments and thoughts as well as requests!! Love you all!

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