#law and order svu angst
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Olivia benson x fem!reader
FREE PALESTINE
Angst
(Credit to owner)
The scent of burnt coffee and regret hung heavy in the air of Olivia's apartment. Two years. Two whole years had passed since the fight, a stupid, petty argument that escalated into a chasm Olivia never thought you'd willingly jump into. You called her a workaholic, her nights spent hunched over case files a constant reminder of how little time she had for anything else. You, with your fiery spirit and infectious laugh, deserved more than that. Olivia, in a fit of exhaustion and frustration, had thrown it back, words laced with the bitterness of a job that chipped away at her soul piece by piece. "Then maybe you should find someone who has time for you!"
You slammed the door on your way out, the echo of it reverberating in Olivia's ears long after you were gone. She called, texted, left desperate messages on your voicemail, hoping, praying you wouldn't disappear like smoke. But disappear you did. No forwarding address, no trace on social media, your phone number disconnected. You vanished like a ghost, leaving behind a gaping hole in Olivia's life.
The days blurred into weeks, weeks into months. Olivia threw herself into work, the familiar sting of righteous anger and the hunt for justice a poor substitute for the warmth of your hand in hers. She saw traces of you everywhere – in the coffee shop where you always ordered your extra-sweet cappuccino, in the park where you used to steal glances at the stray dogs, in the bookstore where you'd lose yourself in detective novels. Each time, a jolt of hope would momentarily flicker, only to be extinguished by the crushing reality of your absence.
Then came the call. It was a cold, rainy November night, the city slick with the first kiss of winter. Elliot's voice crackled through the line, a raw urgency in his tone. "Liv, you gotta get down here. Warehouse raid. Russian mob. We found girls."
Olivia's throat went dry. Human trafficking. It was an all too familiar story, a stain on the city's soul. But the case didn't register fully, not yet. All she could think about was girls, young lives stolen, innocence shattered.
The warehouse was a desolate, concrete tomb. The air hung heavy with the metallic tang of blood and the despairing whimpers that echoed from behind the heavy metal doors. Olivia and the team kicked them down, a cacophony of shouts and flashing lights filling the cavernous space.
The girls were everywhere. Huddled in corners, eyes wide with terror, their bodies frail shadows under layers of grime. As Olivia moved through the room, a primal instinct kicked in, a fierce protectiveness that burned through the years of jaded detachment. She knelt before a young girl, barely a teenager, tears tracing dirty streaks down her pale cheeks. The girl flinched instinctively, eyes downcast.
"It's okay, sweetheart," Olivia murmured, her voice soft and soothing. "We're here to help you now."
A gruff voice interrupted. "Liv, you need to see this."
Elliot stood by a makeshift bed in a back room, his face grim. Olivia followed his gaze. There, on the threadbare mattress, lay a figure draped in a tattered blanket. It was you.
The blood drained from Olivia's face. Your face, pale and gaunt, was framed by matted hair. Your once vibrant eyes were closed, your breathing shallow. A choked sob escaped her lips. How? Why?
Elliot noticed her reaction, his eyes instantly filled with understanding. "We need to get her to the hospital," he said, his voice gruff but kind.
The sterile white of the hospital room felt like a slap. Olivia sat by your bedside, a vigil kept through the long night. Machines beeped rhythmically, a constant reminder of your fragility. Hours turned into days, and finally, your eyelids fluttered open.
Confusion clouded your gaze for a moment before recognition dawned. Your eyes widened, a flicker of fear giving way to disbelief. "Olivia?"
Her voice was a hoarse whisper, but to Olivia, it was a symphony. "Yeah, it's me. You're safe now."
Tears welled up in your eyes, spilling down your cheeks. You tried to speak, but your voice was weak. Olivia leaned closer, catching your words.
"You left," you rasped, your voice tinged with accusation.
Olivia flinched. "I..." she started, the words catching in her throat. Shame and regret were a bitter cocktail in her mouth.
"Don't," you cut her off, a flicker of your old fire returning. "Just... tell me what happened."
It poured out of her then, a torrent of words – the fight, the desperation, the months spent searching for you. You listened in silence, With a tear slipping down her cheek, Olivia reached out and grasped your hand, her touch sending a jolt through you. The years of separation melted away, replaced by a raw vulnerability that left you breathless.
"I was so stupid, Y/N," she whispered, her voice thick with emotion. "Work consumed me, and I took you for granted. I never thought you'd leave."
You squeezed her hand back, a silent understanding passing between you. The hurt of the fight was still there, a dull ache in your chest, but seeing Olivia like this, broken and filled with remorse, softened the blow.
"I said some pretty awful things too," you admitted, your voice barely above a whisper. "I shouldn't have stormed out like that."
Olivia's eyes met yours, a flicker of hope igniting within them. "Can you ever forgive me?"
The question hung in the air, heavy with unspoken longing. You looked at the woman you once loved, the woman you realized you never truly stopped loving. The past two years had been a nightmare, a desolate wasteland devoid of her warmth.
Taking a deep breath, you reached out and tucked a stray strand of hair behind her ear. The gesture was small, intimate, a silent promise.
"I already have," you murmured, your voice thick with emotion.
A choked sob escaped Olivia's lips as she leaned forward, burying her face in the crook of your neck. Tears streamed down her face, hot against your skin. You held her close, whispering words of comfort, the silence of the hospital room broken only by the soft beeps of the machines and the rhythm of your intertwined breaths.
As the days turned into weeks, you recovered slowly, your body healing alongside the fractured pieces of your relationship with Olivia. The nights were filled with whispered confessions, apologies, and the tentative rebuilding of trust. You spoke about your ordeal, the horrors you witnessed at the hands of your captors, the despair that threatened to consume you.
Olivia listened patiently, her arms wrapped around you, a silent shield against the encroaching darkness. She held you close as you cried, her presence a source of strength and solace.
When you were finally released from the hospital, Olivia took you back to her apartment. It felt different, the emptiness replaced by a sense of cautious optimism. There were nights you'd lie awake, the echo of the past lingering in the air, but Olivia was always there, a comforting presence by your side.
One evening, as you sipped tea on the fire escape, the city lights twinkling below, Olivia turned to you, her eyes filled with a newfound determination.
"We'll get through this, together," she said, her voice firm. "You and me."
You met her gaze, a smile gracing your lips. "Together," you echoed, the simple word holding the promise of a future rebuilt, stronger and more cherished than ever before. The fight that tore you apart had left its scars, but it had also shown you the strength of your bond, a love that even the darkest of nights couldn't extinguish.
#olivia benson x reader#olivia benson x you#olivia#olivia benson#law and order svu angst#svu fic#law and order svu#svu#l&o svu
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Not Without You ~Casey Novak xFem Wife!Reader (Alex Cabot x Olivia Benson)
Summary— Casey Novak angst. No more spoilers than that! Approach at your own risk!!!
Mommy… Master List
Requests & Prompt-List
Warnings: MATURE AUDIENCES, 18+!!, death, angst, really sad shit, murder, blood, gore, multiple suicides, unhappy ending, grief character death, crying, mentioned suicidal tendencies, etc.
Enjoy (:
The precinct room was tense. Nobody was moving a muscle. Everyone frozen. You stood right under the doorway. Everyone’s eyes were on her, on Casey.
It was crazy how wrong this had gone so quickly. The perp was holding Casey in front of him with a knife to the ADA’s throat. Her eyes were bulging in fear and you could see her body shaking.
You had walked into the situation, unintentionally, showing up to surprise your wife for lunch. And you had walked in to the precinct to find everyone with their hands up and staring at Case.
Your heart was racing and your breath was bated. Your mind started to spiral, as Elliot started to try and talk the perp down.
The man’s words blurred in and out of your understanding, you were too busy relieving your entire life with Casey. It was too fleeting. It wasn’t enough. This couldn’t be it. You and her had barely had anytime together.
The perp started to get more agitated. It seemed that anything Elliot was saying was only making it worse…
Before you knew it, you heard a sudden slice followed by a squelched scream… and blood splattering across the room…
your heart dropped. Then another slice, no scream this time. Your eyes fluttered heavily, you started to feel dizzy…
Your legs collapsed on themselves and you feel tumbling to the floor. Nothing made sense. How did it all go so wrong, so quickly…?
Tears started to flow from your eyes. You looked up toward the bloody scene, your vision was blurred and hazy. EMTs were rushing to the two bodies that lies laying on the floor.
Everything began to muffle, the sounds fading into the background. You got the sudden urge to throw up, and you couldn’t stop it, vomiting across the precinct floor in front of you.
You jolted as you felt someone’s hand on your back. You looked up to your left with sobbing eyes to see Olivia trying to talk to you. But you couldn’t hear her.
She tried to pick you up and turn you away from Casey, but you fought back. You fought with your life and soul to get to Casey. Olivia’s hold tightened, not letting you move, so in desperation, you began to scream.
“No! God please no!” as you collapse to ground again and scream in agony.
She picked you up from the floor again and quickly filed you out of the main room and into a separate office. You fought and fought but you just didn’t have it in you anymore. She sat you down, sitting next to you, still trying to tell you something.
This was when you noticed how much you were shaking. You couldn’t stop it. Your breathing was shallow and you felt like you were being blocked from the air in your lungs. This realization only brought more tears. Shock and adrenaline were now in full course and running rampant in your system, and you were really starting to feel the overwhelming effect.
Your eyes started to feel heavy and it all became too much. The last thing you remember is leaning against Olivia’s shoulder before shutting your eyes indefinitely.
~~
When you woke up, you were in Olivia’s apartment. You jolted upright with wide eyes.
Olivia was in her kitchen, but as soon as she heard your gasped breathing, she came into the living room where you laid on her couch. She immediately sat down next to you, bringing her hand behind your back.
“Hey, hey… sweetheart, it’s okay. You’re at my apartment. I didn’t think… it would be appropriate to go to yours…” Olivia explained softly.
For a moment, for a nanosecond, you felt at peace. And then it all hit you.
Her dead body, the life leaving her eyes as blood spilt everywhere, her twitching hand as she bleed out, her mouth which you swore was whispering I love you…
You started shaking again, and your breathing went shallow and spiked. Tears flowed freely and violently as you rocked back and forth on Liv’s couch.
“Oh god Oh God Oh God…” you choked out, your lip trembling as you tried to stifle your violent sobs.
“It’s okay, let it all out…” Liv comforted you.
You suddenly felt the rage in your body kick in. You swatted Liv’s hand away and stood up, filled with anger.
“Y/N?” The brunette asked.
“I… I need to go…” you mumbled, “W-where’s my stuff?”
“At the precinct still… Wait Y/N?!”
Before Liv could say another word, you were out the door.
~~~
You walked into the SVU precinct for the second time in twenty four hours that day. The first thing you saw was the blood stain straight in front of you as you walked in. You gulped.
More feelings came bubbling up but you shoved them down.
You marched into the Captain’s office and demanded your things. Cragen looked at you sympathetically and asked if you were alright.
“I’m fine…” you grumbled, “now please give me my shit back.”
Cragen obliged and you were quick your things and leave. You made it all the way home and to your apartment hallway.
But then you saw your apartment. The one you and Casey had gotten together. The one you had planned to raise kids together in.
You shakily placed a hand over your mouth before letting out more uncontrollable sobs. Your legs were threatening to give out on you, but you managed to stumble your way to the bedroom, collapsing on the bed and losing consciousness again.
~~
You couldn’t get out of bed for the next couple of days. You were in and out of either feeling completely numb or being it with all the grief at once. You were questioning reality.
Was this even fucking real…? How could this have happened…? What the fuck were you going to do…??
Throughout those days, you heard many people knocking, coming and going. Not much on your phone anymore, because you had let its battery run out, but when it was on, everyone on the team was calling and texting.
You knew they only wanted what’s best for you and that they wanted to make sure you were okay… But you couldn’t face them. If you faced them, that would mean it was real. And you couldn’t risk that. That would break you. More than you are already, it would shatter you into the abyss.
~~
Months had passed and you had gone from your bed to your couch. Nowadays, it was mostly the numb feeling. You’d gotten rid or moved any and all reminders of your late past wife.
You spent your days sleeping and crying. People always said it got better, but your pain when you felt it, was like the day you lost her. People were bullshit. You didn’t want anyone ever again. You didn’t want this. Didn’t want life.
On a good day, you had just enough energy to make it to the bathroom. Today, you had been in the bath for hours, already having refilled it twice. You had your head laid back as your line of sight hit a bottle of pills on your counter. Your gut tugged at you.
You could be with Casey again…
You leaned far with your arm and grabbed the pill bottle. You spun it in your hands and thought about it all.
She’s gone… never coming back… why not just skip the torture and be with her again…?
~~
“Alex…” Olivia breathed out with a light smile as the blonde ADA strutted down the street and towards the brunette detective with her signature smirk.
Liv, Elliott, and Alex then walked the crime scene and got themselves familiarized with this new case. And when they had a second at the precinct, she pulled Liv aside.
“Hey Liv, I heard about Casey Novak, Y/N’s wife… How is Y/N…?” Alex asked with light concern.
You and Alex went to law school together. You had been really close. Until she went into Witness Protection. Since then neither of you had heard from each other.
“I… Alex…” Liv sighed, rubbing her temples, “I haven’t heard from Y/N in months…”
Alex’s jaw nearly dropped.
“What…??” She exclaimed, “Liv that’s… that’s…”
“I know, I know… I just got caught up in cases and I thought she didn’t want me there by the way it went down and—” Liv rambled.
“No Liv…! It’s— Where does she live…??” Alex said in a panicked and concerned tone.
Liv quickly gave Alex the address, Alex stopped by Cragen’s office to let him know she’d be gone for some time, before the blonde practically ran out of the precinct.
Olivia was quick to follow, having trouble keeping up with how fast Alex was going. But she got to the blonde in the parking garage, stepping in front of Lex’s car before she could drive away.
“Alex! What is happening…??” Liv exclaimed.
“Get in the car!!” Alex called out.
Liv quickly got in the passenger seat and sped away.
“Lex… talk to me please…” Liv softly spoke, interlocking her left hand with her girlfriend’s right hand.
Alex took a deep breath as she sped down the roads to your place.
“Liv… When Y/N and I were in school, she got really close to a professor, she was like a mentor to Y/N… In our last year… that professor died…” Alex breathed out.
“Oh… I’m sorry…” Liv gently said.
“No Liv that’s not it. What’s it is what happened afterwards… Y/N started behaving oddly, becoming more reclusive and anti social… and then…” Alex gulped, and flinched a little at recalling these harsh memories, “Liv, she tried to kill herself.”
Liv’s whole demeanor changed, her eyes going wide. She felt guilt wracking her body.
How could she have been so stupid…? How could she have left you alone for so long…? What if..??
The car screeched to a halt just outside the apartment, and the two women rushed into the building. They ran up the stairs and Olivia had absolutely no hesitation in barging down the door. The women rushed into the room and looked around frantically.
Alex listened for you, and she faintly heard the sound of water running. Her eyes widened and she exclaimed,
“Bathroom, Liv, bathroom!!!!” Alex cried out.
Alex stumbled the bathroom door open and stepped into the overflowing water from the bath that was everywhere. She yelped desperately in distress. Tears started to run down Alex’s cheeks, as she placed a hand over her mouth, the other hand still on the doorknob.
Liv came rushing behind Alex and was just as horrified at the sight as Alex was.
The overflowing water… the empty pill body… your lifeless body..
“We-we need a bus…” Liv stammered into her radio, taking ahold of Alex.
Hell knows they both needed the support…
“It’s not your fault, Liv. Not your fault…” Alex whispered.
“Like hell it isn’t…” Liv breathed out.
~~~
Casey Novak Masterlist
Olivia Benson Masterlist
Alex Cabot Masterlist
#casey novak#casey novak x reader#Alex Cabot#olivia benson#cabenson#alexandra cabot#liv benson#angst#Casey Novak angst#unhappy ending#law and order special victims unit#law and order svu#law & order#law & order special victims unit#law & order svu#cissyenthusiast010155 answers
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long cases
Ship: Olivia Benson x Fem!Reader
Warnings: Angst, Hurt/Comfort, SA mention and description briefly, cuddling, pet names.
About: A case gone wrong leaves y/n upset and to make matters worse, y/n can relate to the case so she blames her self but her girlfriend, liv, provides a shoulder to cry on and consoles y/n.
"cmon baby, stop being so shy. it's just me. just mommy, sweetie. lemme see your pretty face, hm?" liv cooed, in attempts to get her little lovie out of burying her face into liv's shoulder. y/n slowly begins to pull away, her teary-eyes met liv's. "Oh honey.." liv sighed sadly. she knew that this last case had taken a toll on y/n. it went so wrong and liv can tell y/n is blaming herself. "livie" y/n's voice broke. the fragile girl began to sob, covering her face with her fingers to spare liv the effort of attempting to console her. there was nothing liv could say to change the outcome of the case but what liv could do, was talk to y/n about it. liv knows that y/n was abused sexually in the past so this is why she relates to this case so deeply.
A few minutes passed, liv was giving y/n the space to cry and let it all out before talking to her. Y/n stood limp in liv's arms, tears stopped flowing. Y/n began to trace circles on liv's back. Liv took this as a sign that y/n was in a slightly better state. "Honey?" Liv gambled. Y/n hummed in reponsed. "Are you ready to talk about it, my love?" Liv asked, not removing the girl from her lap just in case. Y/n and Liv had this agreement that they'd always talk about it. If someone was bugging the other, they would not let it cause an argument or fight. To talk about it and dispute the problem before it gets worse.
Y/n scooted over, leaving some space between the two, but not much. Y/n clutched onto liv's hand, not that liv minded. She knew it helped y/n to talk, grounded her. Knowing that liv was real and she would be okay eventually. "I think the reason this case is getting to me so much is because this has happened to me. Not this exact situation but I was SA-ed. A-and I've told you about it briefly but..." Y/n's voice broke, drawing intense circles on liv's hand. With her other hand, liv reached out to rub y/n's back. Giving her a hint to breathe. Y/n takes a deep breath in response, getting the hint. Liv fixated on y/n's story, nodding at her to continue when she's ready.
"P-part of me wished someone had came to save me, but no one ever did. It got worse but you know what? I grew up, and got the hell out of there." Y/n exhaled, feeling a huge weigh lifted off her chest. "That's right my love. What you experienced, is horrible, I have no words. But you're right, you got the hell out of there and I'm so proud of you for that. Shows how strong you are, look how far you came. You help people everyday, you are amazing, my gorgeous, generous, girlfriend." her voice softened with affection.
Y/n let out a soft giggle in response. Liv, obviously confused, gives y/n a puzzled look in response. Furrowing her eyebrows. "That all started with g's, I just thought it was funny." Y/n squeaked in a happier sounding voice. "Oh? Hm? Funny am I?" Liv pushed, climbing onto y/n, trapping them beneath her. Y/n raised an eyebrow towards Liv. Liv attacked y/n with tickles. "l-livie!" She squealed. "How funny am I now? Hm, sweetheart?" Liv teased. Y/n squirmed beneath her, out of breath "l-liv i can't breath!!" Y/n giggled. "Oh, can't you now baby? " Liv inched closer towards Y/n, pressing her lips against y/n's.
Liv fell beside y/n, her hand caressed y/n's face. Their eyes met, and y/n leaned into liv's touch. "I love you so much, babe." y/n whispered quietly. "you are so perfect, angel." Liv whispered in response. They gazed at each other with nothing other than love. They laid in silence, clutching onto one another, falling asleep tangled up in quiet.
a/n: like, reblog and comment for more!!
#my writing#my fic#olivia benson x reader#olivia benson x you#olivia benson#law and order svu#svu#svu fic#svu x reader#svu fanfiction#law and order special victims unit#Olivia Benson angst#l&o svu#law and order fanfiction#Olivia x reader#hurt/comfort#angst#mentions of sa
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SVU team X Autistic Victim teen reader
Literally started watching Law and Order SVU yesterday and fell in love with the show well the sixth season at least.
This will be my first ever L&O SVU one-shot.
Summary: The team are called in after a Teen was beaten up by two other students.
Third person pov...
The smell of the hospital woke Y/N L/N up, they had always hated the smell of the rooms it made their sensory issues skyrocket.
Opening their eyes they are meet with bright white lights, groaning they close their eyes again, sitting up carefully being mined full of their injuries.
Slowly the teen opens their eyes again, this time the light was not as bad, Y/N looked around the spacious room, the teen was alone in the room.
They could not remember anything, rocking slowly trying to calm down they wracked their brain for something but could not remember. "Stupid stupid, what the hell happened to me" they shout smacking their head as they started to freak out.
As they were having a meltdown the doors opened and in came Detectives Olivia Benson and Elliot Stabler. "Y/N what's wrong sweetie?" Calls Olivia as they rushed over to the teenager.
Hearing voices they did not know made Y/N look up and crawl out of their bed as they stood searing pain shot through their head groaning in pain they wobbled; Olivia grabbed the teen to stop them from falling.
Instead, they struggled in her hold trying to get away from her. "Stop let go off me" they yell eventually Oliva let them go. The teen crumpled to the floor against a wall rocking back and forth hands in their hair trembling all over.
Olivia and Elliot look at each other. "What the hell happened there?" questions Elliot watching the distraught teen work they way through a panic attack. Suddenly the doors opened it was Y/Ns parents, outside the room they answered the twos questions. "Y/N is autistic which is why they reacted that way, the new room and new people triggered them into a meltdown" explained Y/Ns dad as he held his wife.
Crying the woman looked at the two detectives "what happened to our child, why where they attacked" she cried, Olivia and Elliot look at each other before telling the two.
During Y/Ns 4th period lesson they left the classroom for a breather as they got overwhelmed, as they did the teen was followed by two students. 15 minutes later the two students walk back joking and shoving each other in the hall, Y/N know where to be seen.
Lucky for them the janitor was passing by and found them unconscious and beaten up, at the end both Y/Ns parents wanted to press charges but could not without Y/N present.
Days later Y/N had woken up again in the hospital this time a lot more calm and not as anxious. The 13 year old was sat up in the bed, they had a bandage wrapped around their head their attackers got in a few good swings to their head.
The teen also had bruises on their arms, they had tried to protect themselves from the attack though being surprised, the door to Y/Ns room opened the teen turned their head, it was the detectives from before.
Sitting up they continued to look off sideways as the two detectives approached the H/C Haired teens bed. "Hi Y/N, I'm Olivia this is Elliot" she introduces them. Y/N does not look at them but nods.
Elliot looks at the teen and stands closer. "Y/N we wanted to ask some questions about the day you were attacked?" he asks the teen, sighing the teen turns their head to look at the man.
"I didn't see their faces" they whisper, the adults could tell they were lying by the way their voice cracked, the two detectives eye each other before Olivia sits next to Y/N on the bed.
"that's a lie sweetie and you know it" she tells them gently, Y/N looks up at her tears in their E/C eyes. "I know, I can't tell I won't" they cry hands shaking in their lap. Olivia holds out her hand to the teen as an invitation to hold hers.
Two both hers and Elliots surprise the teen grabbed her hand squeezing tightly as they cried.
The team are stuck at the precinct Benson, Stabler, Tutuola and Munch all stand around the evidence board in front of them, it was filled with pictures of what happened to Y/N, the footage of the two students.
"That poor child, who in their right mind would beat someone for being different" says Munch as he stares at a picture of Y/Ns injuries pissed off. "Your right partner, little shits" Fin pats the man's shoulder.
On the desk next to them stand Olivia and Elliot. "If only we could persuade Y/N to tell us their attackers" says Elliot slamming his hand down on the table, Oliva sighs and looks at the forage. "We can't push the, they are already traumatised enough" as the team stand around someone pats Elliots back.
This scares the man; he had not heard any footsteps telling him someone was there. Turning around he was shocked at who was there. "Y/N" the name made the others turn around.
Behind Elliot stood their 13 year old victim, the teen had numerous bandages around their arms and head, headphones around their neck and a small stuffed toy. "I'm here to report an assault" the relief on the faces of the detectives is seen.
Olivia stands from her chair and beckons the teen over. "Come on sweetie, I'll take you to an interview room" she takes the teen to an unused room, the teen looks around and sets their bag and stuffed toy on the table.
Munch and Fin are disgusted at how the arseholes beat up Y/N, turning to Elliot they see a pissed of look on his face. "Those bastards" growls Fin, Munch agrees "they deserve to be locked up for good" he says, Elliot follows after Y/N and Olivia.
Hours later Y/N had told the two everything that had happened to the over the past year, they had been beaten up before by the same kids but not so bad they had to go to the hospital, lucky for Y/N both attackers were charged with category 1 of grievous bodily harm with 26 month in juvie with 100 hours of community service.
Y/N was more than happy with the charges, their parent profusely thanked the SVU team for their help.
The end!
I plan to skip most of the court parts because I know nothing about how they work so sorry I only really know about the kind of charges you can get, anyway sorry for any grammar and spelling mistakes.
Requests are open!
Word count: 1171
#law and order svu#svu#svu x teen reader#elliot stabler x teen reader#olivia benson x teen reader#elliot stabler#olivia benson#x autistic reader#x teen!reader#assult#angst
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When I wake up, I'm afraid
Somebody else might take my place
When I wake up, I'm afraid
Somebody else might end up being me
#shitpost#alex cabot#svu#law and order svu#casey novak#cabenson#calex#angst#i guess#i dont know#i guess i like being sad#joking
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Two Slow Dancers (Last Ones Out)
Rafael Barba x Reader
Warnings: angst, hurt/comfort, mentions of alcohol, mentions of a hospital setting, everything is very vague tho lmao
(this is a vent LMFAO)
((sorry not sorry <3))
She could smell the bourbon on his breath when he let her in. Her eyes tracked the way that his jaw clenched and then unclenched— something he did to calm himself down whenever he was on the brink of losing his composure.
This time was different though.
It wasn’t some insolent witness that was just getting on his nerves or a criminal that was too difficult for even him to handle. No. This was different. It was her that was causing him to act like this.
Only she could rile him up in such a way that he was itching to break something. Her and her eyes. Stoic and masked— he loathed to love her eyes.
“You promised that this guy wasn’t going to walk.” she reminded evenly. Rafael scoffed, meeting her gaze with a very specific kind of annoyance.
“Would you like to become the Assistant District Attorney and see for yourself what it is I have to do everyday?” The venom in his voice was clear as day.
“You promised—”
“I know what I promised.” He hissed, bristling anger she had already been trying to stuff down.
“If you would just—”
“Why so you can make me feel worse about myself?” Her mouth dropped open, face radiating nothing but heat.
“You promised—”
“Sometimes promises can’t be kept!” He shouted, cutting her off. The volume of his voice had grown to something that she had never heard before. Her eyes drifted from his screwed shut ones and down to his hands. The tremors were visible from where she sat.
Without saying a single word, she stood up from the leather chair he kept in the corner of his office and glided to the space right in front of his desk.
Right in front of him.
He still had his head down, his shoulders so tense that she was sure he was going to turn to stone. A knot formed in the middle of her chest, threatening to choke her from the inside out. She opened her mouth to speak but he beat her to it.
“You,” He said roughly before taking a deep breath a meeting her eyes. The watery green almost knocking the wind out of her. “You are the single most important thing to me in the world.” His breathing was coming out harder than before. “Nothing else.” He waved a hand in front of his body, the other still holding him up over his desk.
“I-”
“Please let me finish.” He cuts her off again. She swallows thickly, but nonetheless nods for him to continue.
“I messed up. I got too close— too personal.” He admits. “When I saw him, all I saw was you in th-the hospital and I…” He breaks himself away from the train of thought forcefully.
“I fucked it and I’ll never be able to forgive myself for it. But I swear to God, hermosa…” the nickname springs tears to her eyes. “The second the chance is mine, I’ll take it. He’ll never see the light of day again.”
She nods, trying to blink back the tears.
“Can I go now?” She tries to quirk a half-assed smile. Rafael huffs a dry laugh but nods.
“You promised me that he wouldn’t walk.” She started off and Raf looked like he had just been kicked in the gut. “But that means nothing if you aren’t by my side.” She was glad that she was able to get that out before the tears that she had tried so hard to keep down fought their way down her face.
Rafael crossed to her in two strides, crushing her in a hug that could have fed her for a thousand years. One of his hands cradled her neck so carefully into his shoulder, while the other was wrapped firmly around her waist.
“I’m so sorry, baby.” He whispered into her ear, softly kissing her temple over and over again. “I’m so sorry.”
She held his face in between her hands and smiled sadly, but not a single ounce not loving.
“Never be sorry for being my hero.”
A single tear made its way from Rafael’s eye and down his cheek. She brushed it away, kissing the skin that it had touched. They were going to be okay.
#law and order special victims unit#rafael barba#rafael barba x reader#x reader#svu fanfiction#angst#raul esparza
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hey babes, it's me, your fave internet menace, will graham smokes truther, writer who has been writing again but very slowly!
i've been crazy busy with work and life but i have also been watching sooo much svu and i started watching house so like... house/hilson fics soon??
anyways, on the writing side of things, i've been writing like a beast but im also self critical as ever so it's a fight! but baby we got as needed chapter 3 coming up soon, some angsty carisi for all u svu babes.
for u hannigram babes we got fics for u too, bunch of songfics bc unfortunately, it's what i do best. lots of music, lots of messy power dynamics, lots of smut <3
and don't think i forgot about u criminal minds babes, there is some stuff in the workssss.
all that rambling aside, send me headcanon reqs, send me asks!
be gay, see u next time <3
#will graham#hannibal lecter#hannibal#nbc hannibal#hannibal nbc#hannigram#hannibal fandom#fanfic#fanfiction#hannibal fanfic#hannibal fanfiction#law & order: special victims unit#law and order svu#law and order#law & order special victims unit#law and order special victims unit#rafael barba#sonny carisi#dominick carisi#barisi#barisi angst#barisi angst fic#barisi fic#headcanon requests#headcanon#will graham smokes#smoker!will graham#headcanons#will graham smokes truther#fanfic writer
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Is there an EO fanfic where grown adult Dicky is going off on Liv in front of his siblings, Noah, Bernie, and Elliot and accusing her of sleeping with his father while he was married to Kathy for all those years. And Elliot finally setting the record straight and going into great detail about how Liv saved his marriage time and time again and was damn near the reason Kathy and him was still married up until she died. Also letting Dicky know Eli exist because of Olivia and that she was a second mother to all of his kids because he and Kathy couldn’t be the parents they needed and she stepped in repeatedly because she didn’t want his marriage to fail even though it killed her year over year that she couldn’t have him.
#elliot stabler#olivia benson#elliot x olivia#eo#fanfic#bensler#bensler fanfiction#law and order svu#benson and stabler#angst with a happy ending#someone write this
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What Could Have Been
So....Sorry?
This is a massive angst piece, requested by @nickamaro with the prompt "I won’t be able to buy you that ring, but I can buy you enough time to get out of there" So I hope you all enjoy my first fully angst with no comfort fic.
Nick Amaro/Gender Neutral Reader
Warnings: Death, violence, mention of injuries and blood, guns. Extreme sadness.
Master List
Prompt list
You had no idea how you and Nick had gotten into this situation and you honestly had no idea how to get the both of you out it. The sky was getting dark as the sun started to set taking away any of the warmth you were feeling. You could hear the consistent dripping of water somewhere that was driving you insane. The only thing that was making it bearable was the warm body next to you, but at the same time you were terrified about the fact that Nick was beside you. You would give anything for him to be anywhere else then here, if anything happened to him you knew your whole world would never be the same.
“We’re going to be okay,” Nick kept whispering his hand squeezing yours when you heard footsteps coming your way again. Your eyes snapped to Nick as you held your breath fear making your blood go cold, you could feel the sweat on Nick’s hands his body tense as if he wanted to move in-front of you but knew that any movement would draw their attention to where the two of you were hiding.
“They have to be around here somewhere,” you could just make out the sound of a mans voice.
“We’ll find them, they can’t hide for long,” a reply came a little more muffled as the footsteps receded until you couldn’t hear them at all.
“Nick,” you whispered, you could only make out his face in the wanning light due to how close the two of you were. “We have to get out of here.”
“We will, the others know we went to check out a lead, when we don’t report in they will come looking,” Nick said, his voice so sure as he raised your joint hands to his lips and kissed your knuckle. “I promise I won’t let anything happen to you.”
“Or I you,” you leaned forward, quickly kissing his lips. A faint memory surfacing in the back of your mind.
--
“Nick, we have to go,” you giggled as the man in question continued to kiss at your neck his arms wrapped tight around your waist holding you to him.
“No we don’t,” he mumbled. “Today is our day off. And I do not plan on letting you out of my arms, amor.”
“But we should do something,” you whined, your voice more breathy then you wanted as he started to kiss across your shoulders and his hands moved to hold your hips.
“We are doing something, cardio,” Nick teased. “Come on please, this is New York there is always something on. We can spend the morning in bed, just the two of us and then in the afternoon or even the night, depending on how many rounds we go, we can do something.”
You wiggled enough to be able to roll over to look at his big brown eyes as he stared down at you, his lush lips in a pout. You rolled your eyes, groaning as the man knew exactly what he was doing to you. His lips pulling back into a knowing smirk as he felt your body start to relax back into the bed. He rolled on top of you, slowly grinding his hips down in into yours as he kissed along your jaw and down your neck.
“I hate you,” you muttered your hands raising to grab hold of his waist as you spread your legs wide to cradle his hips.
“No you don’t,” Nick said into your neck as he nibbled at the skin.
“No I don’t.”
--
You inched closer to Nick, ears straining to hear any movement from the people hunting you. Nick let go of your hand to wrap it around your waist pulling you as close to him as he could get you. He nudged his nose against your temple, pressing a kiss there with his eyes squeezed shut. His breathe hitched a little as you put pressure on his ribs, you backed away not wanting to hurt him.
“It’s fine,”
“Nick, your ribs are probably broken,” you argued moving away so you were only lightly touching his side. “If I put too much pressure on them I could make the break worse, and it could even puncture your lung.”
Nick lent his head back against the wall the two of you were leaning against. His face was pale, and although he was trying hard to pretend he wasn’t in pain you could see it in the lines of his face. The two of you had been together for so long that there wasn’t much he could get past you, or you him if the squeeze on your hip was anything to go by.
“I’ll be fine, Carino.”
You nodded, not knowing what else to do. You were unsure of how much time had past but your body was starting to ache from being in one position for too long, the cut on your thigh had finally stopped bleeding but the throbbing coming from it worried you. It had been a while since you had heard anything from the two suspects, you hoped that meant they had completely moved on.
“It’s been quiet for a while, maybe we could try and sneak out?” you suggested.
“It’s better then staying here and waiting for them to find us,” Nick agreed. “We go slow and quiet.”
“I’ll take the lead,” you said, voice leaving no room for argument. “I’m quieter and I have better hearing.”
You could see Nick having an internal debate but the logical part of his brain must have won out as he nodded, though he didn’t look happy about it. You both struggled to stand up, Nick wrapping an arm around his ribs and you limping. You slowly moved out from the gap you had been wedged in, taking it slow to ensure no noise was made. Once the two of you were out in the open, you paused for only a moment to make sure they weren’t coming before you set off down the hallway. You had been checking out a rundown abandon house that was half demolished when you had been attacked by the suspects. They had managed to get the drop on you both, your guns getting lost in the struggle as Nick’s ribs were broken and your leg was cut. You felt Nick’s hand lightly grab onto the back of your jacket, to prevent the two of you from getting lost and separated.
The two of you moved in sync, your feet barely lifting from the ground to limit the amount of noise you made. You very carefully checked the ground in front of you for any debris that could trip you or that would make a noise if stepped on. You paused at every corner, peeking around it and looking down each side, only moving on once you were sure it was safe. As the two of you got closer to the exit the more confident you got until you heard the sound of footsteps approaching from behind. And they were coming up fast, light from torches jolting around as the two ran.
“Shit,” you whispered. “We need to move quicker.”
“If they already know where we are there is no reason to be quiet,” Nick suggested. “I don’t think we are far from where we entered this place, I say we run for it.”
You nodded, knowing that your leg would hate you after the adrenaline wore off but you knew that this was your only chance. The two of you gave up moving quietly and ran. Your thigh throbbed in time with the impact of your feet hitting the ground and as you stumbled over debris. You could hear Nick’s harsh breathes as running jarred his broken ribs and you just prayed that it wouldn’t damage them more. Behind you, you could hear the yells and shouts of the suspects as they heard you running, you ignored the pain as much as you could and just focused on getting out. You were just thankful that they didn’t have any guns.
You could see the outline of streetlights just ahead of you, you felt a little bit of hope growing. If you could just get out, you could get to your car, it sounded like the suspects were still a far bit behind you. The light from their torches was hitting your backs but their footsteps didn’t sound any closer.
BANG.
“Ah!” you felt a sharp pain hit your arm and you stumbled even more.
“Amor!” Nick called out his hand taking a gentle but firm grip on your upper arm to keep you from falling as he tugged you around a corner, away from the exit but out of the line of fire as more bullets flew past and embedded into the walls.
“Fuck, I guess they found our guns,” you laughed. You felt around the wound thankful that it seemed to be a flesh wound, though a little deeper than a normal one.
“Baby, are you okay?” Nick gripped your face getting close to see you.
“Yeah, I will be, it’s just a little deep flesh wound,” you assured him gripping his forearm and squeezing. “This makes things a little trickier.”
You could see warring emotions cross Nicks face before his jaw clenched as that familiar look of determination won out. You blood ran cold as your stomach clenched in fear, your heart beating fast.
“Nick,” you whispered, worried about what that look meant. “We’re going to get out here together love, this place is half demolished and run down. Surely there is another way out that keeps us out of their sights.” You tightened your hold on his forearm as his eyes started to glisten as tears filled his them. Nick pressed a gentle kiss to your lips, his hands stroking down your cheeks, before dropping to hold your waist as he rested his face in the crook of your neck, his favourite place.
“I won’t be able to buy you that ring, but I can buy you enough time to get out of there,” Nick whispered his voice heavy with the tears you could feel hitting your neck. Your heart plummeted at his words, eyes filling with tears that quickly fell down your cheeks as your chest started to heave.
“Nick, Nick no,” you shook your head as he lifted his head away and stepped out of your hold, easily shrugging off your grip. “Darling, no we will get out of this together and you can buy me that ring, and we can have the most sickening proposal that ever happened. So sickening sweet that Finn complains about a tooth ache.”
Nick tried to smile through his tears, a huff of a laugh leaving him at your words. His heart broke to see you crying but he knew that if he didn’t do something to get you out of this the pit in his stomach would be worse and it would never go away. He had to do this. You were his absolute world, his heart and his soul. You had to live, even if he didn’t.
“I love you mi amor,” was the last thing he said before he sprinted back in the direction you had just come from, reaching down and picking something up. You could just make out him throwing it up the hallway the lights were coming from before the sound of gunshots filled the space. You tried to call after him but your voice caught in your throat as sobs racked your body, as the light from the torches followed Nick, neither of the suspects looking back your way.
You hesitated for only a moment longer before you turned around and ran. Looking for any sign of light from the outside so you could leave this fucking place and get help. Your phones had been broken in the altercation at the start. You just prayed that the team was looking for you and was able to get some kind of location from your phones before they broke. You prayed that you continued to hear the gunshots as that meant Nick was alive.
You heard the sirens and saw the flashing lights just as you managed to break down a window and crawl out of it. The glass cutting into your skin but you ignored the stings.
“Help!” you cried out, voice breaking and clogged. “Over here! Please, help!”
“Y/n? Nick?” You heard Amanda’s voice calling out for the two of you.
“Amanda!” your fear for Nick allowed for you to scream as loud as you possible could, your throat hurting as you continued to scream and shout. The gunshots in the building behind you had stopped, and you prayed that that didn’t mean Nick was…gone. You collapsed just as Finn and Amanda rounded the corner. You sobbed harder pointing into the building.
“They have our guns, Nick…” you couldn’t continue, Finn nodded at Amanda and lead some of the SWAT team into the building, using an opening that was just a few metres down from the window you crawled out of.
“Are you okay?” Amanda asked her torch rolling up and down your body spotting the blood on your pants and shirt. You shook your head finding it hard to breathe, you wouldn’t be able to until you heard news about Nick. Amanda wrapped her arms around you and tried to get you to stand and get you around to the front where some ambulances were waiting.
You heard more gunshots echoing behind you and Amanda’s radio crackled to life.
“Officer down! Officer down!”
“No,” you whispered your heart breaking as your vision blacked out.
--
You awoke to the smell of chemicals and cleanness. A hospital. Your body ached, your thigh and arm throbbing a little but you weren’t in so much pain that you couldn’t handle it. A hand was gripping yours and your heart sped up.
“Nick,” your voice was croaky and your throat hurt. You must have damaged it a little from the screaming you had done. Your eyes slowly fluttered open the grit in them making them dry, and the lights from the hospital hurt them at first until they adjusted.
“Hey,” the voice that came from your side was definitely not Nick’s and as you became more aware you realised the hand holding yours was smaller and the callouses were different. Liv. You turned your head to look at her, bracing yourself. And you felt your heart shatter again, into tiny little pieces as you saw her bloodshot and puffy eyes. She had been crying, hard.
“No, no, no,” you begged her, tears welling up in your eyes again as your chest heaved.
“I am so sorry,” Liv whispered, her face etched with sadness as her voice broke at your devastation. She moved to sit on the edge of your bed, the hand not gripping yours tightly reached up to stroke at your hair.
“Please Liv, please,” you continued to beg. The sight of you broke her heart, she started to sob with you. “Tell me he wasn’t alone, please?”
“Finn was with him,” Liv promised you. “And he, he left a message for Finn to give you.”
“I want to hear it,” you whispered. Liv opened her mouth but closed it after she searched your face for something. She nodded.
“I’ll go get Finn,” she said, standing up and releasing your hand.
“Stay, after Finn comes in?” you asked her and Liv could never deny you anything. “And Amanda?”
You knew Nick and Amanda had been close and you wanted your family around you and you didn’t want her to be alone if Finn and Liv were in here with you. Liv just nodded leaning down to press her lips against your forehead before she stood back up and left the room. You entire world was muted, the colours didn’t look the same and you knew they never would again. Nick had been your everything, he had taken a large piece of you with him and he would have it for eternity.
#writing#imagine#law and order svu#imagines#law and order svu imagines#gender neutral reader#nick amaro x you#nick amaro x reader#nick amaro imagine#Nick Amaro x gender neutral reader#Angst#Hurt#hurt/no comfort#I cried while writing this#Sorry not sorry
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Stand Still
Pairings: Olivia Benson x Daughter!OC
Olivia Bensons daughter dealing with post op alone or so she thinks.
Content warnings: ANGST! Abortions , sex, sexual assault, lots of sadness, basically things that would be talked about in an episode.
wc; 1.2k
[masterlist]
“Ryann Benson?” The nurse called softly from the door. The door Ryann had been staring at for the past two days in a row. This was it, she was doing it, alone.
The young women stood up walking quickly to the door as she turned her phone off. With her head hung low hoping no one in the office would remember her face.
It’s freezing she thought as the nurse led her to a room and ordered her to take off her clothes. The nurse gave her and gown and left the room. After what felt like forever she returned with a million questions.
Are you sure this is what you want? Is there anyone you need me to call? We can stop at anytime. Do you have someone to take you home?
Ryann was on autopilot, she hated she was in this situation. It wasn’t entirely her fault Justin couldn’t take no for an answer so she just gave in. Which she knew her mother wouldn’t be proud of.
Maybe if I would’ve fought harder, he didn’t technically force me, I just gave up on saying no.
Tears grew in her eyes as she thought about what happened. How he denied it was even his and blocked her number, leaving her completely helpless. She had to be strong, she had no choice.
Before she knew it was time, Doctors and nurse flooding in with gear and equipment.
“Just breathe for me” the doctors said as he begun. Ryann cried and breathed and cried again, the pain of it all was unbearable.
“Is there anything you need sweetie?” The nurse asked holding her hand.
My mom
“No” Ryann whispered back wishing time would fly pass so this can all be over. She felt violated all over again. Exposed for everyone to see it was humiliating, all she wanted was her mom. To be there with her through all of this, but she couldn’t.
Olivia always knew how to soothe Ryann whenever she needed to. She’s her baby girl and quite frankly she’ll do anything to see her smile.
When the procedure was over they gave her a change of clothes, medicine, and sent her on her way.
She felt like she was hit by a bus but she had to hurry home. Ryann called an Uber and paid her extra to help her up the stairs, it was the least she could do.
When she got into the apartment it was completely silent. No Olivia, no Noah, just Ryann and her thoughts. She walked to her room and laid down immediately. Stuffing the Planned Parenthood bag almost all the way under her bed. The girl dozed off finally getting some rest.
—-
“Ry please answer the phone sweetie, I love you”
Olivia left her 4th message to her daughter. Ryann was Olivia’s oldest, she was a responsible girl but sometimes Olivia worried about her. Of course, she was a woman living in this world, how could she not worry.
Ryann had told her she’s been with her friend since the weekend and she didn’t need to worry. But Olivia felt it in her soul something was up. So, she called Ava, Ryann only friend honestly.
“Hi Ava, I was wondering if Ry was still with you? She hadn’t been returning my calls”
“Hey, and no she actually went home early on Saturday you haven’t seen her?”
My daughters missing
“Thank you Ava” Olivia hung up and quickly called Amanda to her office.
“Ry is missing, I need .. I need someone to trace her phone and her bank cards and I have to go get Noah”
“Olivia, relax we are going to find her” Amanda reassured the woman heading toward the team and briefing them.
Olivia sat in her office wondering how she let her guard down when it came to them she was always on top of it. She wanted Ryann to have more space even if that meant not talking to her everyday. She wondered how she not notice that she was missing.
“Captain” Amanda said from the office door causing Olivia to look up, “You’re going to want to see this” Amanda sat the laptop on her desk showing her daughters latest purchases. The top one being the very pricy one with the words Planned Parenthood next to it.
“I need to find my daughter now” Olivia stood up grabbing her belongings heading towards the elevator.
The first thing Olivia thought was why would her own daughter want her there for this. It did not matter that her daughter was pregnant but it was about her protection. Making sure there through whatever Ryann had to face.
When she arrived at the apartment she noticed her daughters shoes and headed toward her door. Knocking softly and getting no response she peaked in.
Seeing her daughter buried under the blankets holding Little, the stuffed cat her uncle Elliot gave her when she was 9. Olivia walked in trying not to wake her, looking around the room for anything to help her understand what happened. As she moved closer to the bed that when she seen the planned parenthood bag. Filled with papers, pads, aftercare, and an outfit.
“What happened sweet girl” she whrispered trying not to wake the girl but failing. Ryann turned over to see her mother standing there with the bag in her hand. Tears grew in her eyes fast, “Mama I —“ she said quickly sitting up. Before she could finish Olivia was already taking off her shoes and climbing into bed with her.
“What’s going on Ry, talk to me” As she held her trying to give her the upmost comfort. Olivia took a look at her daughters face and she looked exhausted, Olivia hated this.
“Justin and I were making out and it started getting intense and I didn’t want to have sex yet — but he begged even after I said no a thousand times.
I gave up and just let him. I didn’t want to do it and now I’m here” she was hysterical, “Please forgive me mama, I shouldn’t have even been doing anything. It’s all my fault.”
Olivia had felt like she was punched in the chest. Her daughter was a … victim.
“I’m here for you now Ryann, I’m never going anywhere.” Ryann cried even harder, tears falling all over her mother. It
It took Olivia 30 minutes to calm Ryann down before she spoke up.
“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you, I didn’t want you to know I was weak or for you to hate me for even thinking about sex.”
Olivia knew Ryann was a strong, creative girl and he could never hate her. Ryann brought a light into Olivia’s life and it’s been shining bright ever since.
“Look at me, I will never hate you and Ryan you are so strong. he’s the weak on. I wish I was there to hold your hand and be by your side through all of this.”
Ryann cried harder all she wanted was her mom, she was her role model. Disappointing her was the last thing Ryann wanted to do.
“It was your choice and I have no right to question that and I absolutely don’t hate you. You’re a part of me Ryann Serena.”
Ryann snuggled into her mom, tears still falling from her eyes. Ryann had wished she called her mom to come with her to get the abortion
#Olivia benson#Olivia Benson reader#Olivia Benson daughter#Olivia Ben x Daughter#Olivia Benson x daughter!reader#x daughter!reader#Olivia Benson x Daughter!OC#SVU daughter#Law and order daughter#Olivia Benson x Daughter!reader#Olivia Benson angst
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Right outside your door
Olivia Benson x Elliot Stabler one shot
Set in season 7 after “fault”
__________________________________
Elliot wanted to go talk to her, he needed to. But everyone had told him if he didn't give her some space, things between them would only get worse.
So for the first time in the seven years he had known her, Elliot was hesitant to go knock her door.
How could things between them possibly get any worse though? She was completely ignoring his existence.
He was spiraling, everyone around him knew it.
And Dammit those nightmares, he had been having the same reoccurring nightmares since the day he found out she left, nightmares about losing her entirely, not just from his life but from the the entire world.
They were based around what almost happened a few weeks ago.
What he couldn't bare to even think about.
And the more time passed without seeing her, the more vividly they played out and the more real they began to feel.
It was terrifying.
And so embarrassing, he's stronger than this. Elliot Stabler doesn't wake up panicking from nightmares. My gosh, that didn't even happen when he had PTSD from the military.
It didn't happen after any traumatizing case, and there were so many of them he had lost count.
What was this woman doing to him?
~~~
Flashes of Olivia's lifeless body on the cold floor, played out in his mind. her eyes rolling in the back of her head, blood gushing everywhere, her face turning white, his hand feeling for a pulse that was gone.
Flashes of his partner bleeding out in front of him.
Each time he had that same nightmare, he always woke up right before he blurted out the three words, he only ever allowed his mind to say in that split second he thought he was losing her.
"Olivia, don't go I.."
~~~
It was now a quarter after midnight and Elliot yet again, was swimming in a pool of his own sweat, gasping for air.
Crying out her name.
"Dad"
No response.
"Dad"
"No response."
"DAD!" The voice echoed much louder than before, julting him awake.
"Ahh, what!? He gasped nearly falling off the bed.
"Dad, you're scaring me, what the hell was that about?" Kathleen questioned, her voice laced with confusion.
"Kathleen?" His eyes wandered around the room trying to make out his surroundings. "What are you doing here?"
She raised her brow at him, "Do you not remember?"
"You picked me up from Trevor's house because, his dad was making me uncomfortable, I had to beg you not to kill him.. we went to denny's afterwards?" she went on, trying to jog his memory.
This was weird, it had only been a few hours and he didn't remember how she got there?
Elliot stared off into space, trying to remember the events his daughter just described to him, but his body was still in fight or flight mode and his mind was foggy.
Finally, after an unusually long minute, things came back to him, and he could see the relief on Kathleen's face when he bellowed a loud "ohh." As he slowly came back to reality.
"You scared me dad, I thought you might have dementia or something."
He laughed lightly "No honey, not yet at least."
"Are you okay though?" she asked, that same expression returning to her face.
"Yeah, I'm fine honey." He tried to assure her, even though he knew she probably heard him screaming.
"Are you sur."
"Sweetheart, I said I'm fine."
His daughter wasn't convinced, she made her way to the side of his bed and pressed her hand to his forehead, "dad, you're covered in sweat that must've been quite the intense nightmare, do you have PTSD from what happened with Olivia?."
He visibly stiffened at the mention of her name, the nightmare still fresh, and his mind not exactly fully awake yet.
"What would make you think that?" He replied, hoping she wouldn't pry any further, his kids didn't need to be involved in this, he didn't want them to suspect anything strange when he didn't even know what was going on himself.
"Because you were screaming her name." she said, squinting her eyes at him in puzzlement.
"Was I? That's weird."
Kathleen crossed her arms and gave him a challenged look "Dad, come on, you might be a good liar at work but you'll always be a horrible one in your person life.. especially when you're talking to me."
"Honey, it's not something you need to worry about, I don't even know why I would say that."
"Your ears are red."
"What?"
"Your ears are red." She repeated, "your ears get red when you're lying."
"Kathleen, why don't you go to bed? don't you have school tomorrow."
"You should go talk to her." she blurted out, ignoring his last statement.
"Kathleen.." he warned.
But she didn't budge.
"Dad."
"Kathleen, seriously!"
"I'm serious dad! You should go talk to her, do you think I'm stupid? I know, I've known for years."
"I don't know what you're talking about."
"You heard me dad, I wasn't born yesterday, even if to you, it seems like I was, I'm a woman now, I've been one for a while, and we know things."
"Whatever you think you know, you can't know because, I don't even know." He babled in response, although what he said was true, he didn't know.
Or maybe he did know, but denial is a strong thing.
"I'm not saying you have to pour your heart out to her, but at least go apologize."
"I did! I left her a voicemail, I called her 30 times!" Now he was getting angry, he had to remind himself this was his daughter, and now was not the time to lose his temper.
"She'd rather hear you say it to her face, otherwise she's going to think you're just telling her what she wants to hear so she'll come to you."
Elliot looked at her with the up most puzzled expression before he replied, How would you know that? she's not a family member, you don't even know her."
"You're wrong dad, she's been like family to us for a long time."
And those words right there caused tears to well up in his eyes, his kids considered her family.
It was a weird dynamic.
But not one he was willing to just let go of.
She couldn't just never talk to him again.
Cus' as much as she thought of him as a stubborn son or a bitch, she was one too.
Kathleen was right he had to go to her.
"When did you get so mature?" he smiled at his daughter sadly.
She smiled back before evolving him as a hug.
"I wasn't born yesterday."
"Lovely." She mumbled to herself sarcastically before emerging out of bed and making her way to the bathroom to splash cold water on her face.
Suddenly she didn't feel the slightest bit tired anymore.
So instead of going back to bed when she saw the clock read 1:30AM she decided to go in the living room and watch tv.
Ugh, why did he have such a hold on her? It's like she couldn't escape him no matter what she did, not in her wake, not in her sleep. He was always on her mind, no matter how much she fought to get him out of it, he was still there.
And she wondered how long she could go on like this for. Ignoring him, declining his calls, revolving her life around trying to forget about him until the anger subsided enough that she could talk to him again, even though things would never be the same after this, and she couldn't expect them to be.
She didn't think it would be this hard, she knew it would be different, she knew it would hurt but not this much, nothing was the same anymore, nothing had been the same since Gitano.
It's not like she thought leaving was going to fix anything, but she didn't feel like she had any other choice.
There was no way to fix this.
Before Gitano, Olivia truly believed that nothing could break them apart, because it wasn't an easy job, they had their fair share of screaming contests when they disagreed on something, she slammed doors in his face more times than she'd like to admit, there were many ups and downs in their partnership, many times she swore she hated him and was sure he hated her back.
But when they went crashing down, they always came back to each other, every single time.
Until now.
She didn't know how to accept that Gitano, that case, very well might've ruined them for good, and there would be no coming back around this time.
She couldn't lose him, but she couldn't face him either.
Olivia was starting to realize, that though she was able to run, she wasn't able to hide.
But she couldn't face what she was feeling and she wasn't even sure she knew how to.
Trying to block out her thoughts Olivia began flipping through the channels, settling on a repeat of the bachelor, one of her favorite comfort shows. Though, nothing seemed to bring her much comfort these days.
And then came a knock on her door.
At first she thought it was the tv.
But then it happened again.
A knock she could recognize anywhere.
"Not now, my gosh, not now." she mumbled to herself.
By the 10th knock Elliot was growing impatient, he wasn't going to let her continue to ignore him, not when he drove over here, in the middle of the night, not when this had been the longest week of his life.
"Olivia! Olivia! I know you're in there!" He bellowed.
She didn't answer.
"Olivia, I can feel you thinking, you can't avoid me forever."
"Dammit Elliot, it's 2am." she uttered.
"Just let me in."
"No."
"Let me in!" He repeated.
" I said no!"
"Olivia for the love of god, what are we are five years old now? Just open the damn door."
And she was silent again.
"Olivia! Let me in."
Really? Now he chose to do this.
It was never going to be a good time.
Olivia made her way to the door but she still refused to open it, now standing beside the door, her forehead pressed against the wall, her hand dangerously close to the knob.
No, she wasn't doing this right now.
"Go home Elliot."
"Olivia, I swear to god if you don't open this door I'm going to bust in down."
He couldn't be serious.
"Try me and i'll sue you for breaking and entering."
"I have a key." He reminded her.
"You still have a key!"
"Just let me in."
"It’s not a good time."
"It's never going to be a good time Liv, but I need to freaking talk to you!"
He was just about to reach for the spare key when he heard her unlock the hinge.
"You got five minutes." She told him as she finally opened the door, blocking the entrance with her body.
God, she was beautiful and he couldn't help but stare, despite the fact that he was low key beginning to hate her for the games she was playing.
"Well hello to you too, aren't you going to let me in."
Olivia only crossed her arms in response, "Whatever it is, you can say from where you are."
He looked at her with a mixture of disbelief and anger before mocking her actions and crossing his arms as well. You've got to be kidding me Liv."
"I'm serious El, spit it out."
"Why are you acting like this?!"
"What are you talking about."
"I'm not playing along with your petty junior high games Olivia, I came here to talk to you now let me in." He demanded, catching her off guard when he pushed past her, making his way to her couch.
"What do you think you're doing?."
"I said we needed to talk." He stated, as if it was a demand.
"And I said it wasn't a good time."
"And I said it's never going to be a good time."
My god, he had a way of making her lose every ounce of patience she had in her.
"Then why are you here?!
"I said we needed to talk."
And for a good minute, they just stared at each other, neither willing to back down, neither willing to give in.
She saw everything in his eyes as they continued their stare off, the hurt, the betrayal, the regret, the sadness, the pain.
How dare he come here and try to make her feel bad? how dare he come here and look at her like that, like she ruined him.
~~~
Olivia was the first to break the silence, "Dammit Elliot what is the matter with you?"
"I could ask you the same thing."
"Oh really? Last time I checked I didn't show up at your place at 2am, banging on the door and yelling like I'm on fire." She shot back.
"No, you just quit and completely cut me out of your life without even so much as a text message." he quipped.
"I didn't cut you out of my life Elliot."
"Then why haven't I heard from you in an entire fucking week!" He yelled, emerging from the couch and beginning to pace the living room, Elliot had every intention of coming over to apologize, not to start a fight, but her stubbornness was too much and his anger was now overpowering the guilt he had been feeling.
Olivia stayed in place, not wanting to fight with him again, trying to calm herself before she lost it, he knew her every button and just now to push them. "I needed space! Did you really think I was going to ignore you forever? Really says a lot about how well you know me."
He laughed bitterly in response "You have no idea what you have put me through."
That was it.
Suddenly, it didn't matter if they fought she didn't care, she was enraged and she wasn't going to let him talk to her like that, not again.
Not this time.
Not when he barged into her house at 2am, like a fucking F5 tornado.
"What I've put you through!?" She screamed, not even realizing she was now yelling in his face.
He didn't back down and they were now so close they could feel each other's hot breath on their necks. "Yeah, you heard me."
She felt dizzy.
"I knew that voicemail was a lie! you're not sorry, you're not even capable of feeling sorry, you fucking ego maniac!"
She was right but it didn't stop the rage in him from intensifying.
"I was sorry Olivia! don't you dare tell me I lied to you! I was fucking sorry but that was before I found out you quit, before I found out that you had no intention of ever talking to me again! Now, now you don't deserve for me to be sorry, cus' you had to go and make sure you hurt me that much more!"
"So that's what you think this is?!" Tears were now welling in her eyes, his words cutting her deeper than that knife ever did. That I'm just trying to hurt you more than you've hurt me? as if this is some kind of sick content?"
"It sure as hell seems like it!"
Olivia said nothing in response, she only went to the kitchen to pour herself a glass of wine, desperately needing an excuse to get away from him.
She felt like all the air had left the room.
And so did he.
But he wasn't going to run.
She wanted to run but this was her house.
She has nowhere to go.
"So that's what you wanted? To just cut me off and never talk to me again!" Now Elliot was the one with tears welling up in his eyes.
"I already told you, I needed space, I can't breathe when I'm around you anymore you fucking suffocate me!" she spat.
"And you think that I can breathe around you? You think that you don't suffocate me?" He shot back, his own tears threatening to fall.
"You have had no problem treating me like your personal fucking punching bag for the past month, you don't get to make this about you!"
"You're such a gosh damn child olivia!"
"Really? How many times have I saved your ass because you couldn't control yourself?"
"That's not the point!"
"You are too much Elliot! How can you expect me to look past you blaming me for your own choice? How can you expect me to be able to be around you anymore? All I see when I look at you, is resentment, resentment at me, for something you chose to do! And you know what? You're the damn child, because, I wouldve never, ever crossed that line!"
"Olivia don't you fucking get it? that's not why I'm angry!"
"Oh please." She scoffed.
"It's not! I'm not angry that I chose you, that was never why I was angry, my gosh that's not why I'm fucking standing here screaming at you in the middle of the night! That's not why I've been losing my mind ever since Gitano!"
"What the fuck is the reason then Elliot, tell me! tell me the fucking reason?!" She yelled, getting in his face again.
"Olivia you're out of your fucking mind if you really think I would've done anything differently if I could go back, do you really think I wouldn't do the same damn thing! do you really think I wouldn't still choose you if we found ourselves in the same situation tomorrow?"
She looked at him with a mixture of shock and something else he couldn't quite make out. "What the hell are you saying!"
"I'm not angry that I chose you! I'm angry that I don't regret choosing you! I'm angry that I'd choose you again without a single fucking ounce of hesitation!"
Olivia was taken aback by his words, by his confession. her heart beating so fast she swore he probably heard it echoing through the room.
"You don't think I feel the same fucking way Elliot?" She spat back, daring to to get even closer to him than she already was, he wasn't going to win this fight, not this time. "You're the idiot! For thinking that I could shoot you, that I could end your life, that I could live with myself if you died because of me! How could you be so stupid?!"
"That’s not the point Olivia, that’s not what this is about!" He yelled back.
"Then what is it about Elliot? What is it that you want from me?!”
"I want you to be honest!"
"Are you serious right now? I have been honest!"
"Bull shit Olivia! You weren't honest you ran away! But you know what? Maybe you're right, maybe this whole thing is my fault, cus' I should've known you would, it's what you do best anyway!"
He was in front of her, moving closer as if they weren't already unbearable closer because she was now grabbing the kitchen countertop for support as he cornered her against it.
They'd never fought like this before.
She said she couldn't take the way he had been looking at her, but the way he was looking at her now, was so much worse.
“fuck you Elliot! Get out!"
His eyes were laced with so much anger, so much pain and regret, but suddenly there was something different in his gaze, something that wasn't there before.
Desire.
"No."
did he really tell her no?
"Elliot, get out! she repeated lunging forward and attempting to push him away.
"What are you going to do if I don't?" He challenged, pushing her back against the counter top.
And his next move was something she never could've expected, not even in her wildest dreams.
Suddenly, the world went silent as he crashed his lips into hers.
#bensler#elliot stabler#law and order svu#olivia benson#svu#svu fanfiction#fanfiction#angst#tension#my ships#i will go down with this ship
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Alex cabot x fem!Reader
FREE PALESTINE
ANGST
Masterlist
(Credit to owner)
The slam of the apartment door echoed through the usually quiet space, vibrating in your chest like a tuning fork. You flinched, the cheerful melody you were humming dying in your throat. Silence, heavy and thick with unspoken emotions, followed. It wasn't the comfortable silence that often settled between you after a long day, but a tense quiet that pressed down on you, squeezing the air from your lungs.
"I need to be alone," she spat, her voice tight, each word laced with barely suppressed emotion that crackled in the air. It was a command, not a request, and the harshness in her tone scraped against your heart.
You blinked, taken aback by the iciness radiating off her. Concern gnawed at you, a cold knot forming in your stomach. You knew she'd had a rough day at court, the details of which she hadn't shared, but this, this was different. This was a side of Alex you'd never seen, a raw vulnerability masked by a storm of anger.
"Okay," you managed, your voice barely a whisper. The book you were reading felt suddenly heavy in your hand, the words blurring into meaningless shapes. You wanted to reach out, to hold her close and chase away whatever demons haunted her, but the look in her eyes, a desperate plea for solitude, held you back.
You retreated to the kitchen, the echo of the slammed bedroom door slamming against your chest. You busied yourself with mindless tasks, setting the table for a dinner that suddenly felt pointless. Every clinking spoon, every rattle of a plate, resonated in the tense silence, a constant reminder of the storm brewing just down the hall.
Half an hour ticked by, each second stretching into an eternity. The worry gnawing at you intensified with every passing minute. You replayed the day in your head, searching for any missed signs, any unspoken hurt that might have caused this sudden withdrawal. But you came up empty.
Pushing aside your apprehension, you grabbed two plates, the weight of them a grounding force amidst the swirling anxieties. Taking a deep breath, you steeled yourself and headed towards the bedroom door.
"Hey, I made your favorite," you started, pushing the door open a sliver. You tried to keep your voice light, unassuming, but it came out strained, a reflection of the turmoil within.
"I said I want to be alone!" Alex snapped, her voice laced with a raw anger that cut deep. The words were like a slap, the sting echoing in the hollowness of your chest. The plates nearly clattered to the floor in your surprise.
"Alex," you said, your voice thick with a mixture of hurt and concern. "You had a rough day, let's just eat and-"
"Don't tell me what I need!" she roared, her voice breaking slightly at the edges. "This isn't about the damn case!" Her green eyes, usually filled with warmth, were now blazing with a fire that scared you. "Just leave me alone!"
The venom in her words struck you like a physical blow. Tears welled up in your eyes, blurring your vision. You had never seen her like this, so vulnerable and hurting, lashing out in a way that tore at the fabric of your love. But the harshness in her words scraped away at the understanding you were trying to build.
"Fine," you choked out, the hurt twisting in your gut like a knife. "I'll be out." Your voice barely rose above a whisper, but it was enough. The words hung heavy in the air, a stark contrast to the fury that had just erupted.
You turned away, the weight of the world pressing down on your shoulders. The apartment, once a haven of warmth and love, now felt suffocating. You stumbled out the door, the cool night air a welcome shock to your system.
Tears streamed down your face, blurring the city lights into streaks of shimmering color as you drove. Each sob that wracked your body echoed the shattering of your world. The hurt was a dull ache that spread through your chest, constricting your breath, making every inhale a struggle.
You loved Alex, fiercely and unconditionally, but her words echoed in your mind, each one a searing reminder of the rejection, the feeling of being shut out. You had offered comfort, a listening ear, a safe space to share the burdens of her day, and she had thrown it back in your face.
You wrestled with those thoughts as you drove, the familiar streets blurring into a canvas of neon lights and rain-streaked asphalt. You questioned everything you thought you knew about your relationship. Had you been insensitive? Had you not been there for her enough?
The self-blame was a bitter pill to swallow, mixing with the hurt of Alex's rejection. You pictured her on the bed, alone with her demons, and a fresh wave of tears welled up. You ached to hold her, to whisper reassurances, but her harsh words echoed, a barrier you couldn't seem to penetrate.
Hours bled into one another, the rhythmic whoosh of the windshield wipers a monotonous counterpoint to the storm raging inside you. Exhaustion eventually settled in, a heavy weight dragging at your eyelids. You found yourself parked on a deserted pier, the sound of the waves crashing against the pilings a low, melancholic lullaby.
Stepping out of the car, you walked to the edge, the cold spray stinging your face. The vast expanse of the ocean mirrored the vast emptiness you felt inside. You leaned against the railing, a sob escaping your lips, raw and uncontrolled.
"Why, Alex?" you whispered into the night, the wind whipping your voice away. The question hung unanswered, lost in the vast indifference of the sea.
As the first fingers of dawn began to paint the sky with streaks of pink and orange, you knew you had to go back. The anger that had flickered earlier had died down, replaced by a profound sadness, a deep ache that threatened to consume you.
When you entered the apartment, the air was thick with a tense silence. Alex was curled up on the couch, a half-eaten plate of takeout abandoned on the coffee table. Her eyes were red-rimmed and puffy, her usually vibrant face pale and drawn.
Shame flickered across her face as she saw you, quickly replaced by a defensiveness that faltered as she saw the raw vulnerability etched on your own features. The sight of your pain seemed to yank her back from the ledge she'd been teetering on.
"Alex," you started, your voice hoarse from crying. You wanted to unleash a torrent of words, to express the hurt and confusion you felt, but the words wouldn't come. All you managed was a choked sob that escaped your lips.
She flinched, as if struck, and her eyes welled up again. In that moment, the dam broke. She scrambled to her feet and threw herself into your arms, burying her face in your shoulder. Her body wracked with silent sobs, the sound a physical manifestation of the pain she'd been trying to hold back.
You held her close, stroking her hair gently, the unspoken words hanging heavy in the air. This wasn't the apology you craved, not yet, but it was a start. A silent acknowledgment of the hurt inflicted, a fragile bridge reaching out across the chasm that had opened between you.
As she cried, you whispered reassurances, letting her know you were there, that you wouldn't leave. The night may have been long, filled with tears and doubt, but in the quiet vulnerability of the morning light, you found a flicker of hope. The road to healing wouldn't be easy, the trust that had been shaken would need to be rebuilt, but as you held Alex close, you knew your love for her was strong enough to weather any storm.
#alex cabot#alex cabot x reader#alex cabot angst#law and order svu#law and order special victims unit#law and order svu angst
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What Have I Done… ~Broken!Casey Novak xFem Wife!Reader
Summary— Occurs at the end of season 9/beginning of season 10. When Casey gets in trouble with Liz for committing a Brady violation, she goes home after a long day to Reader. Reader comforts Casey.
Mommy… Master List
Requests & Prompt-List
Warnings: angst, fluff, crying, implied exhaustion, light alcohol consumption, unhappy endings, etc.
Enjoy (;
Liz had given you a call earlier today and given you a heads up of what had gone down today.
You were anxious, biting your lip and nails, and fidgeting like crazy as you waited for Casey to come home. Finally, the door to your shared apartment opened. It creaked open, Casey entered the hallway, and then it creaked shut.
You were in the kitchen, already lightly nursing a glass of wine, standing behind the kitchen island, resting on the island for stability.
Hell, after what Liz has told you, you were sure you would both need the alcohol tonight…
Casey finally came into the kitchen, blazer and shoes still on and case in hand. He stopped at the entrance of the kitchen, froze right on spot.
“Hey Baby…” you gently spoke, as you came around the island, placing the glass down, and coming up to the redhead.
You placed your hands on her side and cheek, while Casey stood frozen still.
“H-hi…” she breathed out.
You looked into her eyes, they were filled with pain and agony. It broke your heart. You pulled your forehead against hers. Casey sighed a little in relief at your direct touch
“Case…” you whispered, “Liz called”
At your words, Casey pulled her head up and stepped back lightly. Suddenly, her briefcase slipped from her fingers and the contents scattered on the ground.
Her eyes began to a swell and her lips began to tremble.
“W-what…?” Casey choked out.
Your heart was being ripped to shreds now. You hated seeing the love of your life in this much pain.
“I talked to Liz. She told me… what happened, about you and the bar…” you softly spoke.
You saw the lump in her throat as Casey swallowed, and as she tried to suppress her tears.
“I’m— I’m a failure” Casey choked out, before she began uncontrollably sobbing.
You were quick to pull her into your embrace, cradling her form with all the love you could muster. Casey immediately melted into your touch, wrapping her hands around you. She instinctively buried her face in the crook of your neck.
“No no no, baby… you’re not a failure.” You whispered, comforting the woman.
“Y-yes I am…!” Casey croaked, in between sobs.
Tears were streaming down the redheads face and onto your shoulder and neck. But you didn’t mind.
“No Case…” you sighed, “You made a mistake… everyone does… and the committee will see that.” You whispered.
You got more uncontrollable sobs in response. You rubbed and caressed Casey in every place you could reach, and you could feel Casey starting to slowly calm, as you let her get it out.
“That’s it. good girl. Get it all out…” you comforted her gently, “How about a bath, hmmm baby…?”
Casey sniffled and nodded slowly into your shoulder. You smiled lightly and nodded, slowly and gently leading Case to your shared bathroom.
You turned the water on.
Then you slowly got her undressed, as well as yourself. Casey wasn’t sobbing uncontrollably anymore, but tears were still rolling off her cheeks and she was still sniffling. You lent her a hand to get into the half-filled tub, joining her promptly after.
Casey was quick to snuggle up to your naked frame, starting to cry again into your chest this time. You played with her hair lightly, gently reassuring her that it was going to be okay and that she was doing good.
Eventually, Casey’s sounds had faded and she started pawing at you.
“Hmmmm Case, what’s up…? Use your words for me, sweet girl…” you coaxed the redhead.
Casey blushed a little.
“Mm hungry…” she murmured.
“Makes sense. Good thing I made lasagna.” You hummed and nodded.
At this, Casey perked up. For a moment, her eyes weren’t dismal, they were hope-filled. But they soon returned to their saddened state.
You then helped Case out of the tub, and handed her a towel to dry off. You both got dressed in your pjs, before heading to the kitchen. You both sat down and you served the food.
Afterwards, you carried a now tired and cried out Casey to your shared bedroom. She immediately snuggled up as the little spoon in bed with you.
“Get some sleep, Case, that’s it… It’s all gonna be okay… we’ll fight this together… but not today. Tomorrow…” you softly spoke.
“Mhmmm… thank you, baby…” Casey murmured, “Don’t know how I got so lucky to be with you…”
“You? I’m the one who’s lucky… luckiest wife alive.” You chuckled.
And before you knew it, she was dozing off, with those little snores you always found so adorable…
~~~
Casey Novak Masterlist
#casey novak#case Novak#Novak#Ada Casey Novak#Ada Novak#diane neal#Diane Neal character#casey novak x reader#Casey Novak fluff#case Novak angst#law and order special victims unit#law and order svu#law and order fanfiction#law and order fic#law and order fluff#law and order angst#law & order#law & order svu#law & order special victims unit#wife!reader#wife reader#cissyenthusiast010155 answers
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Ok im watching law and order SVU and like I need someone to write a Fic about Barba with the permis of the movie family man. Idk it’s just a storyline I think would work so well with him.
#angst#found family#law and order svu#rafael barba#law and order special victims unit#rafael barba x reader
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Olivia Benson X Daughter reader
Summary: Y/N Benson is attacked on her way home, her Mum is not happy and Elliot is pissed.
TW: almost SA, description of almost rape, not much only the first part.
Third person pov...
14 year old Y/N Benson was on her way home from school, texting her friends as she walked, her bag on her back, she was heading to the station to meet her Mum so they could go home together.
As she walked she walked past a white man mid 20s, The instant she did she felt his eyes on her, it heightened her anxiety but she kept on walking, slowly she got out her phone from her pocket and began tapping on it.
The man then pushed himself away from the wall and began following the teen, he was tall, kept his head down.
Y/N looked behind her every few seconds while tapping on her phone.
She was planning to text her Mum and tell her what was happening, as she did she began quicker, she heard the man walk faster to catch up with her.
The H/C girl taps her Mums contact and begins typing, they had a code word for incidents like this.
"Hey there" comes voice from behind the girl scaring her. She turns quickly and hides her phone, the teen looks up it was the guy following her.
She stared at the man, not saying a word. This made the man angry, Y/N saw grit his teeth slightly, she then inches away slightly from him.
The guy keeps a friendly smile on his face as he looks at the young girl. "Sorry for scaring ya. Just wanted to ask if you could tell me where the library is?" He asks the girl, Y/N doesnt relax her legs tense she was ready to run if the guy posed as a threat.
She looks at the time on her phone her message to her Mum still open. Once seeing the time she looks back up. "Sorry can't help you" she says to the man unapologetic.
She turns to run but her wrist is grabbed, the mans grip was hard and it was painful. Y/N tried to wretch her arm away but it only made the grip on her wrist tighten, he was twisting her wrist a way it shouldn't go.
Tears at the corner of her eyes she tried to yell for help but one look from the guy said 'you scream and I break it' so she kept her mouth shut, with her hand gone she uses her other to try and text behind her back.
The guy sees this and grabs her phone, eyes in horror Y/N watches as he smashes her phone, struggling in his arms Y/N tries to wriggle away but isn't able to, she is then dragged into an alleyway.
She teenager tries to drag her feet but he is to strong, Tears in her eyes Y/Ns back is forced up again the wall, she begins scratching at the man, his hands , face anywhere she could reach. The guy takes it and pins her wrists to the wall.
He then slaps her face. "Stop struggling bitch! Or this will hurt" he yells at her, the teen freezes in fear, cheek turning a nasty red.
Smirking he begins trailing his free hand to her chest unbuttoning her school shirt, she looked away from him as he kept touching her, "Mummy" she cries quietly.
Thinking of her mum gave her the strength to open her eyes, she starts to stare, the creep looks up at her smirk gone at the new found fury in her eyes.
'Show no fear' she thinks, as she continues staring into his eyes. Luckily he let's go of her wrists, taking the chance Y/N swings her leg back and kicks him in thr groin.
"Fuck! You little bitch!" He yells holding his area, Y/N quickly rips out of his grasp, grabbing her bag she hits him one last time before running out of the alleyway not stopping until she got to the station.
Olivia was sat at her desk, her daughter was late. Looking at the clock again she became even more worried. Y/N should've been there 20 minutes ago.
Elliot waves at his partner from across the table. "Liv? Hello? Liv!" Liv shake sher head ans turns to Elliot. "Sorry El" she tells him.
Elliot shakes his head. "It'll right, are you okay?" He asks her, Olivia goes to answer but us cut off by something behind Elliot.
Face of horror, she stands from her desk and walks around Elliot towards the entrance, standing at the doors was a young girl, school shirt unbuttoned, shirt ruffled, bag barely hanging onto her shoudler, her face was a bright red turning purple.
"Y/N, baby what happened to you?" Before anyone knew it the young girl collapsed in a fit of sobs falling to her knees, Olivia bent to catch her in her arms. The girl only sobbed harder as she clung to the woman.
Liv tried to comfort her but was unsuccessful, eventually they were able to move the two into a room. Olivia sat with her daughter curled up on her lap still holding onto her neck.
Olivia rubbed her hand up and down
Y/Ns back, the girl was clearly traumatized, the team were worried.
"Y/N baby, you gotta tell me whats happened okay" she tells the girl, Y/N had calmed down alot since she was in her mother's arms.
Outside Elliot is pacing, he was worried about Y/N. He'd never seen her so upset before it scared him.
Inside Y/N pulled away from her Mums shoudler, sniffling she told her. Olivia was shocked, she was worried and she was pissed. "Baby, I'm so sorry that happened to you, I swear to god I will catch that bastard" she reassured the teen.
Eventually Y/N passed out from all her crying, Liv gave her a change of clothes a mix of her tshirt and Elliots sweatpants. The teen was currently asleep in the cots in the lockeroom.
Liv sits at her desk frozen as if in a trace, after what her daughter told her she didn't know what to think. As she sat El walked over to her.
"Liv, hey did Y/N tell you what happened?" He asks her, Liv shakes herself awake, the tears in her eyes scare Elliot, he kneels on the floor infront of her holding her hand gently.
"Liv-Ss-she told me she was almost raped" she cries, Elliot pulls her into a hug. If he didn't he would've smashed his fit into the table. "W-what" his throat dry.
Once Y/N was awake she gave them a description of the man who attacked her, she told them everything she rememberd she could never forget the way his hands felt or his piercing gaze.
Days later they caught the guy, attacking another young girl, before hand cuffing him Elliot and Liv managed to get a few good hits in for Y/N, all the team managed to get revenge for Y/N, Fin slammed him extra hard into the table in the interrogation room.
Munch made fun of the guy and told all his insecurities, Casey tore into him during his trail so bad he instantly pleaded guilty and got sent to prison for 20 years.
After that Liv made sure Y/N never walked home by herself again, always either with a friend or member of SVU. Y/N eventually recovered from the ordeal.
The end!
A rather angsty one hope you liked it, sorry for the wait, also for any grammar and Spelling mistakes.
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Word count: 1302
#angst#law and order svu#svu#olivia benson#elliot stabler#happy ending#oneshot#assult#x teen!reader#olivia benson x teen reader#olivia benson x daughter reader#tw sa mention#very angsty#bastard gets what he deserves
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Chapter 10
Summary: Alex and Casey are called to the precinct where they find Olivia trying to get a little girl to open up.
I feel like this one needs a bit of explaining. I basically mixed episodes 16 and 20 from season 6. Alex got shot and went into witsec (I’ll write that one eventually) she came back because they caught Connors and Casey was attacked because of her relationship to Alex. It will make sense when you read it. I split this chapter into two and will post the second later.
Warnings: usual SVU things
Chapter 10/?
Olivia sat in the dark hospital room, Casey was sleeping, the pain meds having taken her out after Olivia spoke with her. Olivia tried to remain calm and calm Casey when she hadn’t remembered what had happened, knowing it was normal but it still left her deeply unsettled. The last few weeks, scratch that the last few months had been a complete shit show. All of it starting the night Alex died; well, she wasn’t dead, but only Olivia and Elliot knew that. They had promised Alex and the Marshalls they wouldn’t tell anyone, not even Casey, much to the detective's surprise as the marshals had insisted that it was to keep Casey and Niki safe. Alex had asked them, practically begged them, to look over her family, to take care of Casey, to not let her fall apart, and not let anything happen to her or to Niki. Of course, they had promised, and they had kept said promise, watching over them after Alex was gone.
Now Olivia looked at the beaten redhead in front of her and couldn't help but feel like she had broken that promise. She was so deep in thought she didn't notice the door opening and closing until a gasp followed by a broken sob broke the silence. Olivia turned her head so fast she almost got whiplash.
“Alex?” she whispered, unable to contain the shocked tone at seeing the blonde again.
Alex walked towards the bed, her eyes never leaving Casey. She reached out carefully, running the back of her hand over Casey's bruised cheek. Olivia watched as Alex's eyes flooded with tears until a few fell out. A minute must have passed, Olivia's mind still trying to comprehend how Alex was in front of her until Alex quite literally stood in front of her, anger running through her. “How could you let this happen?” she demanded, her voice breaking with emotion. “You promised me you were going to take care of her,” she took a deep breath, and Olivia could tell she was trying to compose herself.
Olivia ignored the questions and instead fired one of her own. “How are you here?”
Alex looked towards the door that was now blocked by what Olivia assumed were a couple of marshals. “One of the marshals let it slip that an ADA had been attacked, so Hammond told me what happened, and after that, he sure as hell wasn’t going to stop me from coming. Now answer me, what happened?” She was using the voice she reserved for when she dealt with criminals, and if Olivia didn't already understand why everyone was so intimidated by her, she sure as hell did now.
Olivia sighed, knowing there was really no beating around the bush now. “We’ve been dealing with four murders, the bullets matched your open homicide. Donnelly pulled Casey out of it the moment we figured out that whoever killed them also tried to kill you. We weren’t allowed to tell her, but you know how she is, she went digging and found out.” The squad had no idea how Casey had figured it out, but a day after they told her she couldn't keep on with the case, she had stormed into the precinct pissed at all of them for not telling her that they were looking into Alex’s murder.
Olivia sighed and continued when she saw Alex was waiting for her to go on. “Alex, she's been in really rough shape, and I guess she just lost it. She went into court the day of arraignment and started screaming at Connors until we got her out of the room. Thankfully, it was Judge Preston, and she let it slide. We tried to calm her down, but she screamed at us to leave her alone and went home after.”
Alex rubbed her hand over her face a couple of times. She knew Casey was going to fall apart; hell, if the roles were reversed, she would’ve lost her mind. “So how did she end up here?”
Olivia knew it was all still an ongoing investigation and they were still trying to piece everything together, but she also knew that she wasn’t going to be able to keep much from Alex. “We knew she had made herself a target the moment she stormed into that courtroom and screamed about him killing her wife. When the prosecution decided to charge Connors with your murder to be able to hold him, they must have figured that they could go after her to try to scare the DA’s office off the charges. I stayed with her because she insisted she needed to look into Connors while Elliot went to get Niki. I stepped out to get us coffee for five minutes, Alex, and when I came back, she was-”
Alex interrupted her, trying her hardest to not raise her voice and wake Casey up. “How could you leave her alone knowing she had a target on her back, Olivia?” She was fuming and pacing the room; it would do her no good to startle Casey, all things considered.
“Alex, we were in the DA’s office, in her office. There was no safer place for her to be,” Olivia reached out, trying to comfort her, but was quickly pushed back by the blonde.
Alex shook her head, her anger palpable. “Well, that clearly isn’t fucking true, look at her!” a sob bubbled up in her chest and broke free before she could stop it, Olivia taking the chance to try again, this time successfully wrapping Alex in a hug.
"Hey, shh," Olivia murmured, tightening her hold on Alex knowing the pressure would help ground her. "She's going to be okay."
Olivia kept holding her tightly, slowly rocking them back and forth. She couldn’t even begin to imagine what was going through Alex’s head. She felt her let out a shaky breath against her shoulder before she spoke again. “What did the doctors say?”
Olivia pulled back slightly, still holding Alex close to try to keep her calm. “She’s got a concussion, bruising, and a couple of broken ribs. They were worried about internal bleeding, but they cleared that. She doesn't remember the attack yet.”
“He didn’t…did he?” Alex asked her, and Olivia didn’t even need her to specify because she’s been working this job long enough to know what Alex meant.
She gave Alex another squeeze. “No, honey, I talked to the nurses, and it was cleared,” she reassured her, giving her a small kiss on the side of her head.
Olivia could see the relief flood Alex’s features. “Thank God,” another wave of sobs made their way through the silence in the room, and Olivia would be lying if she said it didn’t freak her out slightly to see Alex so distraught. She doesn’t think she’s ever seen her cry that much, and it was breaking her heart.
“Liv, how am I supposed to explain this? She thinks I’m dead; my daughter thinks I’m dead,” this subject was one that had kept Alex awake for so many nights in the past months. Her anxiety at an all-time high over how her wife and child would react to finding out she was alive. She knew that she was in an impossible situation and that Casey might even hate her for this. This definitely wasn’t how she had wanted to come back, adding to the pain and trauma, both physical and psychological, that her wife was dealing with by having her come back to life wasn’t ideal, but Alex couldn’t stay away. She just hoped Casey would understand.
“There was nothing you could do, Alex, you had to protect them,” Olivia rubbed her back, trying to keep Alex from getting more distressed.
Alex let out a humorless laugh. “Yeah, look at how well that turned out,” she pulled back from Olivia’s arms, wiping her hands below her eyes to get rid of the last of her tears, taking a deep breath, and schooling her features. “I want him charged with my attempted murder and her assault.”
Olivia’s brow furrowed with concern at the implication of Alex’s words. “Honey, that would mean you’d have to leave witness protection,” she tried to reason, not sure it was the best idea considering what was happening. “We already have him for the four murders.”
Alex shook her head and started to pace the room once more. “I don’t care, if I can help get him convicted, I may have a shot at staying. Besides, if they find out I’m alive, it will only fuel the defense to push for perjury charges.”
“Alright, I’ll talk to Abbie, see what she thinks,” Olivia nodded, already trying to figure out how she was going to tell Abbie that Alex was alive and that they had perjured themselves when they arrested Connors.
The mention of Abbie Carmichael seemed to catch Alex off guard; they hadn’t seen each other for so long she wasn’t even sure Abbie was still in New York. “Carmichael is back?”
A faint smile tugged at Olivia’s face at Alex’s disbelief. “You really think Donnelly was going to let a random ADA handle this? You two are like family to her; she basically speed-dialed Abbie when Casey was taken off the case.”
Alex paced across the room for a little while, seemingly calmer now that she knew Abbie was the one handling the case. She finally pulled up a chair and sat next to Casey, very gently holding her hand, careful not to disturb the cables and wires that ran around her.
“How has she been doing? How’s Niki?” Alex's voice was soft, mindful that she was now closer to Casey, her eyes never leaving her as she asked Olivia for updates on her girls.
Olivia took a moment to gather her thoughts before responding, searching for a way she could tell Alex things that she was sure were only going to break her further. “Niki has been quiet. I don’t think she fully understood what was happening. She has lashed out at Casey a few times, but after, she just seems to go back into herself. After the funeral, she kept asking Casey when you were coming back. We’ve been taking turns taking care of her, making sure she’s with one of us whenever Casey is working.”
A heavy silence hung in the air as Alex absorbed the news, her expression a mixture of sadness and guilt. She knew the toll her death was going to take, and yet, she couldn't shake the feeling of helplessness that was trying to consume her, the nagging thought that she had failed them in some irreparable way.
“Casey, she's not doing great.” Her voice was soft, as if it was aware of how easily it could cut through Alex. “I'm going to be brutally honest with you; if it wasn’t for Niki, I don't think she would be here. Donnelly gave her a month's leave, and she was just going through the motions for Niki. She was almost catatonic during that time, and now she just throws herself into cases until she’s almost drowning in them.”
The weight of Alex's guilt seemed to multiply the more Olivia spoke as she grappled with the enormity of the situation and how much her wife had suffered because of her. “This is a whole fucking mess; what am I supposed to do?” she exclaimed, the frustration at being in this situation clear in her voice.
Olivia reached out, her hand coming to rest on Alex's shoulder in a gesture of comfort. “You tell her the truth, tell her it was the only way to keep them safe and that you didn’t have a choice. She’ll understand.”
Alex's frustration boiled over, her anger directed inward as she berated herself for the decisions that had led them to this point. "I hate Hammond, I hate Connors, fuck, I hate myself for not listening and dropping the case," she confessed, thinking about how Casey had supported her as she kept working the case but practically begged her the night they blew up the car and the agent with it to let someone else handle it. She was too stubborn and too determined to listen, and that set all of this in motion.
“You were just doing your job, Alex,” Olivia tried to reassure her, seemingly aware of how much Alex was berating herself in that moment.
“Yeah, and it cost me nearly eight months of my life with my wife and our daughter,” Alex whispered, defeated by the weight of regret that had clung to her since the night she had to leave.
Olivia didn’t have an answer for that; she could only imagine how hard all of this was for them. When Casey shifted a little in her sleep, she got Alex’s attention again, knowing the redhead was going to wake up soon. “Do you want me to stay or do you want to be alone with her?”
Alex shook her head and rubbed her thumb over Casey’s hand. “Please stay; I don’t know how she’s going to react to seeing her wife back from the dead.”
Olivia pulled up another chair and settled in beside Alex, wrapping one of her arms around Alex and letting her lean her head against her shoulder. “Okay, honey, I’ll stay.”
#alex cabot#casey novak#calex#casey novak x alex cabot#law and order svu#olivia benson#all aboard the angst train
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