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mewhenimanangel · 9 months

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old friend ౨ৎ eren jaeger

pairing: eren jaeger x reader

synopsis: you knew eren for most of your life - your mom having been friends with his for so many years. he was your best friend and you were his. until you weren’t

wc: 3.8k

content!: friends to lovers, swearing, smut, oral sex, piv, fluff

you knew eren for most of your life - your mom having been friends with his for so many years. so naturally as kids, you hung out all the time. play dates, sleepovers, baths, you went everywhere together. he was your best friend and you were his.

when you entered your adolescence, you grew apart a bit and began leading different lives and make different friends. when you got your first boyfriend, it sparked the first ever real argument between you and eren. he claimed you were leaving him in the dust but it was plain and clear that it was simply jealousy. you were still friends you just had different priorities, eventually eren was starring in a new tv show where he acted as the main character so you saw him less and less. it's not like he forgot about you but now he was thrown into the limelight and things changed.

during college, that's when things really dried out. you still had his number, both of you sending the occasional holiday greetings and birthday wishes. you attended and graduated from university, now landed a job in fashion pr. you had an apartment, nothing too crazy and a little on the smaller side but it was only you living there and it was decorated completely to your liking so you barely had any qualms.

it was saturday night and your friend, dayana, invited you to a bar down town. convincing you it would be fun and bribing you with a ride there, you agreed. you hopped out of the shower to moisturize your body before moving onto your makeup.

you got dressed into a black off shoulder top with a pair of bootcut jeans and black kitten heels. you got your purse and utilities, put them into your handbag and left your house. dayana was downstairs waiting in her car, cigarette in hand when she looked up to see you coming. she smiled and unlocked the doors to let you in the passenger seat.

"hey boo, you ready?" she asked, leaning over to give you a hug. "yeah let's go" you smiled, turning on your joint playlist.

you met dayana when she was your roommate in college and instantly connected. without her college would have sucked for you. you'd spent almost everyday together and did almost everything together, making the best memories. she always dragged you along to whatever function was going on. even though you would be skeptical you always had a great time. you'd led each other to make some not great choices but what's life if not making mistakes to learn from. you also led each other to a life of greatness and abundance, so there was a good balance.

you two were singing and chatting the whole way there, which took longer than necessary - thanks to la traffic. you unbuckled your seatbelt and got out of the car when dayana went to the bouncer to get the both of you in the building.

you got in and head straight for a seat in the corner. you got on the high chairs and ordered a plate of nachos and fries to share. you ordered a tray of mimosas and dayana ordered a few shots of pink whitney. "ugh i needed this" you sighed with a playful smile on your face that made dayana giggle.

you spent the night laughing and talking about your lives as if you don't update each other everyday. you were on your fifth drink, luckily the food helped you not feel the drunk as much. "oh my god, okay don't look now but that guy over there is staring so fucking hard at you" you leaned over to whisper to her. disregarding your instructions she whipped her head in the direction you spoke of and caught the guy's eye. he shot a smile her way and she sent a small wave before turning back to you.

"okay you literally don't listen" you giggled. "is he still looking?" she asked. you sent a subtle look over to him and he was still looking back at her. "yeah. he's cute you should go talk to him" you told her. "aw but i don't want to leave you alone" she frowned holding your hand. "no it's okay. plus he is really fine, better take your ass over there before i do" you joked. she rolled her eyes fondly and got down to straighten out her skirt. "i'll let you know how it goes" she smiled before grabbing her drink and walking over to his table.

you grabbed your own and walked over to the bar to order more. "hey, can i get a shot of bloody mary" you told the bartender, before sipping on your almost done drink. he shortly after pushed the drink in front of you and you tilted your head back slightly to gulp it down. "can i get another one? thank you" you smiled.

you went on your phone for a bit before you heard your name being called. you looked over your shoulder to see eren - his hair was cut and slightly curly in the right places, he wore a plain black shirt under a black carhartt jacket with jeans that were a little baggy and adidas. "oh my gosh, hii" you smiled, getting up to give him a hug. he gladly returned it engulfing your body in a bear hug, arms around your torso.

"what are you doing here?" he asked, sitting down with you. "oh i'm here with my friend dayana" you pointed in the direction of the blonde now very obviously flirting with the man from before. "oh cool cool. well how you been? its been forever" he asked. "um i've been pretty good. i have a nice job and i got a cute little apartment in westwood" you told him. "alright nice, m'happy for you" he nudged your shoulder.

he waved the bartender over to order a jagerbomb. "you still drink those?" you furrowed your eyebrows at the memory of him getting blackout drunk from those when you were teenagers. "duh, they're good. plus they're literally named after me." "yeah i don't think so" you giggled. and he smiled, the smile you haven't seen in person in a few years the smile that you missed so dearly. "so what's been up with you? i finished attack on titan by the way" you said.

"really? what'd you think?" he asked, getting excited. "oh my god so good, i literally sobbed at the ending like oh my god" you put your hand to your chest. "right? i cried reading the script" he chuckled. "anyways i've been alright, doing stuff here and there you know. after we wrapped i've been on a bit of a break" he told you. "yeah well you're still everywhere on my feed" you joked. "yeah? do i at least look good" he asked. "great" you laughed.

"so, are you seeing anybody?" he asked, taking a shot. "not really, just sex and whatever. nothing serious" you answered. he nod his head and now it was your turn to ask. "what about you? what's been going on with you and salem?" you asked, referring to the headlines you'd read about him 'spotted' with a model. "nothing actually, just publicity. she's not really my type. but since we were in that shoot together, managers thought it'd be good" he told you. you nod your head.

"mm cool" you smiled and he gave you a look you couldn't decipher. you felt a tap on your shoulder and looked to see dayana with the guy on her arm. "think i'm gonna head out" she gave you a teasing smirk. "will you be okay here?" she asked. you looked over at eren before answering "uh yeah, just catching up. this is eren by the way" you introduced him. "hi, i'm dayana" she smiled. "anyways i've got to go. y/n can you close the tab for me, i'll pay back tomorrow" she asked. "yeah. stay safe, have fun" you winked at her. "oh girl i will" she smirked, walking away with her guy.

"she seems nice" he smiled at you. "she is. i love her" you sipped on your drink. "oh by the way i can drop you home. or you can come back to my house if you want." he offered. you thought it over for a second before answering "yeah, that sounds nice." you smiled.

you talked more at the bar before deciding it was enough alcohol if eren was to be driving home. you closed the tab and handed the bar tender your credit card before getting up with eren. "won't your friends or whoever miss you?" you asked him. "no they're good. come on, car's down this way" he said, grabbing your hand. he led you down the road to a black bmw parked by the sidewalk.

you got in the passenger seat and he drove in the direction of his house. it was a gorgeous two story house with even more gorgeous landscaping. "armin lives here too, that's why the lawn looks so nice" he unbuckled his seatbelt. "yeah cause i knew damn well that could not be under your care" you laughed. "alright not too much"

he pulled out his keys and opened the front door that led into the living room. it was furnished with a large white sofa and a matching arm chair by the window, round wooden coffee table in the middle of the room. you looked around more at the decor before following eren into the kitchen. "it is so nice here oh my god. where's armin? i wanna say hi" you said. "oh he's not here right now, he's in greece with his dad" he told you. "oh that's so cool, i'd love to go to greece" you said, before opening your phone to text dayana where you were.

"do you want anything?" he asked, opening the fridge. "um just some water, had a little too much tonight it's catching up to me" you laughed. he grabbed a cold water bottle from the fridge and put it down in front of you. "you hungry or anything? want a cookie?" he asked opening the container that was filled with chocolate chip cookies. you grabbed one and took a bite "mmm did you make these?" you asked him. "nah they're from the grocery store. but armin makes me put them in that container so it looks nicer in the kitchen. he's a real bitch about his aesthetics" he laughed, making you laugh.

he sat down next to you and took a sip from the water he gave you. "i missed you, by the way" you whispered. "i missed you too like a lot. i should've reached out more just been busy." he said. "no it's okay, phone works both ways you know." you nudged his shoulder. neither of you said anything for a while, relishing in the comfortable silence. "remember when we got into a huge fight because of isaiah" you brought up with a giggle. "ugh how could i forget, fucking hated that guy." he scoffed.

"yeah and you were right to" you sighed, remembering the turmoil he'd put you through in junior year. "always am" he shrugged. "i had a little crush on you actually, that's why i was so upset" he admitted with a laugh to brush it off. your head snapped toward him. "really??" you asked, finishing the cookie he gave you. "yeah i thought that was obvious, felt pretty obvious to me" you nod your head. "i think i had a crush on you too, like afterwards. but then you know we drifted apart and whatever" you shrugged.

"hmm well, back together now" he smiled, taking a sip. "yeah guess we are." you smiled back. "do you still like me?" he asked out of nowhere. suddenly you got all awkward and shy, it was showing by the way you twisted your face. "i don't know" you giggled. "i do." he said. you now turned to look him in the face to see if he was playing around or not but he looked serious.

"are you joking?" you furrowed your eyebrows. "i'm not, i'm serious. you don't even know how bad i've missed you." he pushed a curl out of your face. "then why didn't you say anything" you sighed. "i thought you got tired of me." he was rubbing his thumb along your jaw, not breaking eye contact. "i could never, i thought you got tired of me"

"never" he chuckled. you stayed like that for a moment before he asked "can i kiss you?" you nod your head and leaned in to press your lips against his in a needy kiss, arms immediately around his neck. "wait, are you still drunk?" he pulled away. "sober enough to know i want this" you answered finding his mouth again. he pulled you onto his lap, soft hands rubbing against your thighs. "god i can't believe we've never done this" he said. "then let's make up for lost time" you smirked, moving to kiss on his neck.

he let out a soft groan feeling your soft lips on the skin of his neck. you pushed your hand up underneath his shirt, rubbing a hand over his toned abs. you could feel him getting hard underneath you and whined your hips across his lap, the friction of your jeans rubbing on your crotch turned you on. "fuck okay we're not doing this here" he sighed, getting up from underneath you. you furrowed your eyebrows before he picked you up high in his arms and spun in the direction of the stairs making you giggle.

he moved up the stairs at he pressed kisses along your exposed shoulders. he opened a door to what you assumed was his room and moved to rest you on the bed. he leaned down to turn on his lamp and threw off his jacket. you kicked off your heels and got on your knees to crawl to the edge of the bed.

you reached for the hem of his shirt and pulled it up, ogling his abs and v-line that led down to his dick hidden under his boxers. "you got so muscly" you said, feeling him up. "had to" he smirked.

he kissed you again, now rushed and sloppy, gripping the skin of your ass. he laid you back down on the bed, hovering over you. he let go slowly biting your swollen lips before he lined kisses down your neck, sucking and leaving bruises along your collarbone and the top of your breasts. he reveled in the soft moans he managed to get out of you, sounding so angelic.

he lifted your shirt off you staring at your bare tits. he brushed over your nipple with the pads of his thumb, squeezing it. he put a nipple in his mouth, sucking and licking on it while his hand groped at its twin. you squirmed around letting out soft moans of pleasure. "you like getting your tits played with?" he smirked. you bit your lips and nod your head.

he got on his knees off you and and unbuttoned your jeans, tugging them down, lifting your hips to help him. "is it alright if i touch you here, princess" he asked, resting a thumb on your mons. "mhm" you mumbled with a smile.

through your panties, he pressed his thumb on your clit drawing out small whimpers from you. he moved his fingers down your clothed slit, cocky smirk on his face "jesus baby these are soaked" he chuckled. "eren please" you whimpered. "please what? tell me what you want" he continued rubbing you through your panties. "want you to go down on me" you whispered. he hooked his fingers through the waistband and tugged them down. suddenly shy, you squeezed your legs together to cover yourself.

"don't hide from me, you're fucking gorgeous" he got down between your legs, resting them on his shoulders, lining kisses down them. he stopped just before your entrance, sucking on your thighs leaving marks. he sucked and licked on your clit like he hadn't eaten in days, he was sloppy with it but still mindful making sure you came.

he worked his tongue over your slit while continuing to suck on your folds. "eren! oh my god" you cried out, closing your eyes and looking away. "ah-ah look at me baby" he whispered. you followed his instructions but the eye contact and the stimulation was sending you over the edge. he pinched the skin on your ass to get you to look back at him.

"fuck ren im so close!" you whined. he just continued working his tongue over you while your rode your hips against his face and tangled your hand through his hair. you felt the familiar sensation in your lower body that let you know you were about to cum.

seconds later you were sighing in relief as eren lapped up every last drop from your cunt. "you still good, baby?" he asked, pushing his middle and ring finger past your folds, reaching further than yours ever could. "so good" you whined. he curled them inside you, rubbing against your walls, hitting the perfect spots inside you.

"god you're fingers feel so good" you moaned. "i'm gonna cum again, eren. mmm feels so good" you whimpered. "cum on these fingers baby" he leaned down and kissed you, tongue immediately in your mouth. you bit his lip feeling yourself reach climax and moaned into his mouth as your cum pooled around his fingers. he leaned up to suck your essence off him before pulling his jeans off and grabbing a condom from his nightstand.

he eased his boxers down off his hips and dick sprung out from the waistband. it looked about seven inches, tip the same pink as his lips and cut. he pushed the condom down his length and hovered on top of you, your arms finding their place around his neck bringing him closer. he lined his tip up with your hole and gently pushed himself inside you. he was stretching you out so good, the pain mixed with the pleasure was driving you crazy.

he was taking his time but you needed more "ren, fuck me harder please" you groaned. he followed orders and spread your legs further, pushing himself deeper inside you. he moved at a faster pace, hands squeezing tightly around your hips. "god y/n you're milking me dry" he whimpered. his dick hit your g spot so right you weren't sure how much longer you would last. when he put his hand on your tit, squeezing and tugging at your nipple your chest arched into his hand.

he moved his thumb to your sensitive clit rubbing slow circles over it, making you jump. "oh my god!" you wailed. "that my new name, princess? i like it" he said with a cocky grin on his face.

"you can give me another one right baby?" he asked, increasing the speed on your clit while he dug his hips into you. you only whined in response, quieting a moan. "don't. i wanna hear you" he moved your hand from over your mouth. "ren fuck i'm gonna cum, i'm so fucking close" "go ahead baby" was all he said and for the third time that time you came, face hot and chest heaving.

"good girl, knew you could give me one more" he leaned down to kiss your forehead before he felt himself close too. he continued pumping inside you, until he whimpered and groaned not breaking eye contact with you as he came too.

he flopped down in the bed next to you with a grin on his face. he reached a hand out to your cheek bringing you in for a gentle kiss. your legs entangled each other's and his arms wrapped around you bringing you closer as if to completely morph into you. "you okay?" he asked, rubbing a thumb over your cheek.

"yeah i'm okay" you smiled. "i'll be right back" he told you. he got up and pulled the condom off to throw it away before he put his boxers on and went out the room.

you heard his footsteps descend down the stairs before he came back with two glasses of water. you sat up in the bed and he handed you a cup. "thanks ren" you smiled, gulping it down.

he left the room again and went down the hallway. you heard water running for a bit before he came back into the room with a silly smile on his face. "what?" you furrowed your eyebrows. he didn't say anything he just picked your bare body up in his arms and carried you down the hall into his bathroom.

he had drawn a bath for you, lit with candles. "thanks to armin and his self care sundays i have these prepared" he said, arms secure around you. "this is so cute" you giggled before peppering his face in kisses.

he let you down and you slowly stepped in sinking into the bubbles. he leaned back on the counter and just watched you. "you're not getting in?" you asked him. "don't wanna disturb you" he shrugged. "it's your bath tub" you said back. "it's your bath" he retorted. "just get in the tub dummy" you rolled your eyes fondly.

he chuckled and pulled off his boxers throwing them into the hamper in the corner. you moved your knees up to your chest to make room for him in the tub as he eased in, sloshing the soap around. "m'getting flashbacks from when we were little. feel like my mom is about to yell at me for splashing" you joked.

you stayed in the tub giving each other full and detailed updates on how your lives have been since you were close. you stayed so long the bath began to run cold and that was your sign to wash up and get out.

eren stepped out of the tub and wrapped his towel around his waist before going to the closet to get a spare towel for you. you picked up your phone to see the time read 12:43 am. "hey um it's getting late, think i could get that ride home now?" you asked. "oh...i was thinking you could just stay here. i mean- i mean if you want."

you were having a good time and weren't ready to go home anyways so you agreed. he gave you one of his shirts and a pair of clean boxers to wear to bed before getting dressed himself. "are you sure though, don't wanna rob you of your bed" you hesitated. "plenty of room, now come here." he plopped down on the bed, beckoning you over.

you got under his comforters sneaking closer to him. he threw his arm over your waist and pulled you closer to him. "i'm so glad i ran into you tonight" he said, so close you could feel his breathing on your forehead. "yeah me too" you looked up. you entangled your legs between his, eyelids growing heavy. "i really don't want you out of my life again" he whispered, caressing your waist underneath his shirt.

#NIA WRITES ࿐#eren jaeger x reader #eren jaeger #eren jaeger x black reader #attack on titan #eren jaeger smut #eren jeager fluff #alternate universe #modern setting #friends to lovers #black reader #eren jeager x you

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mogspawner · 2 months

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Deceit. (smp)

It is not Sunday but Im making this post to show what kind of content I'd be bringing to my blog! Please follow if it interests you because I will do a series like this every week! Submissions of your own smp's / personal favorites allowed under conditions!

Need some more Minecraft series to get into? A completed story hosted by Legundo for your viewing pleasure, watched this series when it released and truthfully its incredibly underrated. I will go in to describe this for you!

No warnings needed!

"May I interest you in an egg, in this trying time? "

In the words of our good man Legundo, himself: "Welcome to Deceit. Hardcore players meeting together in a world for a game of 'Survival' and 'Social Deduction.'"

This hardcore-based server is centered around two lives which each player has, their First life is your gentle run-of-the-mill Minecraft experience with friends.

Well, Mogspawner, you must be saying to yourself right now as you read this blog. What happens when you lose your first life?

You are onto your last life and given a role. (3)

Crafter(4): Survival route, aimed at continuing to stay alive in the endgame. Uniting with others of your shared role.

Traitor(3): Traitors are pretty self explanatory, they are the infiltrators to the Crafters and seek to dish out justice and mayhem alongside their traitor friends to remain the last standing team.

The Killer(1): The killer has a single role. Total annihilation. No side should be left standing when you are done with them, and oh boy are the possibilities endless.

The goal is for the Crafters to survive, the Traitors to kill or the Killer to try and win the game at all costs. Seems pretty fun, right? Wrong. Each player will do their best to lie, cheat and deceit their way to victory. Who comes out on top? Who survives after all's said and done. Find out on Deceit!

Let's meet our players!

Here I am going to list links to all the content creators involved Youtube channels. When it comes to getting into series, its always important to pace yourself and I will give some insights on which perspectives you should watch for your own catered experience! Spoiler free, of course.

Legundo: Legundo is a sure choice to pick if you like a little bit more seriousness. If you go in for lore, dramatic re-telling's and story rich interactions. This is the perspective for you! Legundo has participated in both season of Deceit!

Switchbackmongo: If you find yourself rather introverted and awkward Mongo is the person to watch! There a couple cinematics and plenty of jokes to sit back and enjoy. Mongo has been on both season of Deceit!

Taneesha: Personal favorite. Most hardcore players know Taneesha for her general aloofness and playful behavior, if you find yourself the type of person to leave floating tree's just to annoy your friends this is the perspective for you! Has participated in both season of Deceit.

Loony: Personal favorite. Favor yourself a little chaotic POV? This is the one! Loony has a share of getting into plenty of shenanigans while also giving it a good old MC playthrough feel. Loony participated in both season of deceit.

There are plenty of other content creators who do not have their playlist public, active or made into videos. The content you receive in other views is what is provided but I will list them here instead: Skyes, Pezcat, DavisWho, PainDomination, alongside characters from season two!

Fancy yourself a completionist? Here is a link to every single video in Lore order. I specifically adore Fixxit's perspective in season 2, but thats just me!

See you later, swompers!

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vostok3-ka · 18 days

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Hi Aisha, hope you're having a nice start to your week! For the writer truth or dare ask game: 🦴🔪🌵(could be a character playlist or not)❄️(could also be something you wanna write yourself!) 🍄, and 🏜️. I'd add more because all of these are great but this is already one too many lol so feel free to pick and choose which ones you wanna answer, ofc<3

Hi Max!!! Thank you! It's Eid tomorrow so that's a pretty sick way to start the week ;) Thank you so much for the ask!!!

🦴- Boy howdy is there a piece of media that inspires my writing haha. I have quite a few that it's hard to put name to them all. Whenever I read a book or watch a movie/show I always feel like I take something away from them in order to incorporate into my own writing, but if I were to choose a few specific pieces of media that really inspire my writing, it would be Hannibal, what with the beautiful imagery and the way it is almost poetic in its brutality. I think the writers of the show did a really good job, and I just absolutely adore it. True Detective (season one) is also a piece of media that REALLY influences my writing. I adore the gothic vibes, and I love the way they make the characters human, realistic, with lots of flaws, instead of making them into heroes, and I am just in love with the very synesthetic feeling it gives, I myself am synesthetic and I think it really resonated with me in a way, and gave me a lot of inspiration as in how to describe scenes and emotions. Catch-22, both the book, film, and tv show, have all inspired my idea of Bucky in the war, and I have a few songs including Achilles Come Down by Gang of Youths, О как хотела мама by Shortparis, Две недели by Aigel, and O, Children by Nick Cave & the Bad Seeds, that heavily inspire a lot of my Russian-era Bucky Barnes writing, as well as, for some funny reason, the TV show Бригада. I just feel like the show really shows both the human and terrible, gritty side to organized crime that I am CERTAIN Bucky was involved in, in some way, shape or form. Another film/book that has, heavily and directly, inspired my both my fanfiction writing and original writing is the 2008 film, "Morphine" and the inspiration behind it, the novella by Bulgakov, Morphine. My fic Noch' Ulista Fonar' Apteka was very non-subtly inspired by Morphine, so much! AAAND- I better stop here before I write a whole essay about how media has influenced my writing, because I could literally go on forever and ever!!!! ;)

🔪- I think the weirdest thing that I have had to research for a writing project was for my fic Noch' Ulitsa Fonar' Apteka. I had to, somehow, figure out how to write drug addiction from a first hand perspective, and, of course, I myself have not, and never will take any form of recreational drugs, so I had to scout through many pages of google before finding this legendary gem of a website that has been a lifesaver for me. The website looks like it was made in 2008 and I honestly was a little worried about clicking on it, but it turned out fine haha. It has a bunch of really detailed first hand experiences with all sorts of drugs you could imagine, including withdrawal, good trips, bad trips, and coming down. I think I spent a few hours just reading and absorbing everything to try to write Bucky's experience, and honestly, I came away from the research with an even stronger desire to never try drugs, as most of the reports highlighted how the spiral began. But yeah! That might be the weirdest thing I have researched, unless of course, if you count the time I had to research equine veterinary care in 1980s Russia lmao.

🌵- Gilded Soul This is my favourite playlist I've created, and it's so gentle and sweet and I listen to the songs on it so often. I adore it so much! All the songs have memories and feelings attached to them and ugh- my favourite. Hope you enjoy too ;)

❄️- Oh my God I know exactly what this fic is. I really, REALLY want a fic dealing with the aftermath of Hydra and Department X/The Red Room's brainwashing on Bucky in TFAWS era, but in a way where it doesn't become the point of the fic, and is just like a part of him in subtle, slightly noticeable, and not overwhelming way. I want to see him struggle and yet stay strong, stay independent. I want to see him have realistic feelings towards things like therapy and such, considering the time period he is from, and the fact that he's probably been abused in such settings before. I want to see him make bad, unhealthy decisions while still remaining himself. I want to see him smoke his anger away, I want his staring problem to be addressed subtly as a leftover from when he was trained to look straight ahead while in parade rest, I really want to see him have headaches, mild psychosis, and all the realistic after-effects of electro-shock therapy, and yet, I really do not want to see it in a way that makes him dependent, or child-like. I want to see him get up, grit his jaw and move on. It isn't the healthiest way for somebody to cope, but it's the way I am guessing Bucky would cope. I want a fic that has an overarching plot where these issues are a subplot, as not to make it ALL about his recovery, instead being interesting and realistic in the world that he would be living in. I feel like I have said realistic so many times, and that is the core of it all. I want it to be as realistic and true to comic/film character as possible. I might not make much sense but yeah! That's what I really want to read, and I don't know who would be the best writer to write it!

🍄- OOOH I like this one! A headcanon I have is that Bucky and Natasha dance a lot. They are both trained dancers, and they love it, and they just put on gentle, nostalgic Russian music and dance so prettily together when they are alone!

🏜️- Oh for sure the types of comments that point out what affected them personally. I really want to connect to people through my writing and whenever somebody comments that a certain bit made them feel in a specific way I just absolutely melt in joy and delight!!!

Thank you so much for the many questions again, this was SO much fun to answer. Hope you have the loveliest of days!!!

#vostok answers #ask game

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hungry-skeleton · 9 months

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hey question how do i get into red vs blue because im genuinely curious about it and want to watch it👀👀👀

Honestly the best way to do it is just watch it! Despite its length (currently 18 seasons with the last season on its way) it probably won't take you long to finish. The episodes themselves aren't really that long and you can finish a whole season in about an hour or two

Here's the official playlist of the whole series!!

Some things to note if you really wanna commit your life to rvb

The r slur is used a handful of times in the early seasons, surprisingly not as often as you might think for a series made by old gamers. They eventually stop using it though. Keep in mind this show started in 2003 which is older then quite a lot of people on this site so I think they can get a little slack for the early episodes having some out of touch humor (doesn't make it right of course but yknow, what can you do)

Series starts kind of slow but starts ramping up pretty quick, if you feel a bit bored to start don't give up right away! I recommend getting through seasons 1-2 first which should only take like 2 hours

The entirety of season 14 is a half-canon anthology series. I recommend not skipping it though, it's very enjoyable

There's a bunch of mini series that take place in random places in the timeline on the playlist too, DW about watching them in order they aren't even required but they're fun!

Everything after season 13 might not be canon actually we aren't 100% sure on that but it's also like... Kind of canon too.... We'll cross that bridge when we get to it

The series does have a fall out later on because of changing writers but it never really gets BAD just.. Not as good

Except season 16. Fuck season 16. All my homies hate season 16. And you gotta watch it for context in season 17 I'm so sorry it's so bad it's sooo bad

EDIT: I changed my mind skip 16-18 entirely they're gonna be non canon anyway and I swear to you there is literally no entertainment value in any of them don't fucking watch them they're so horribly bad <-is watching them

Now a lot of this stuff might sound discouraging but if anyone is actually willing to give this series a try I REALLY do recommend it! It's probably one of the best examples of adult comedy. Adult comedy shows (especially animation) sometimes fall into the trap of needing to be excessively violent and sexual and mean in order to be mature but that inadvertently makes the series feel very immature. Red vs Blue DOES make sex jokes and it is violent sometimes but it's never in an overbearing and childish way (except season 16 that's literally all that season is I'm so sorry) it executes its humor great, it relies a lot on just how insane the MCs are in a relatively normal world and it's so entertaining whenever we leave the bubble of the main cast and realize "oh these guys are just fucked up"

It has great characters and a story that really hooks you when you don't expect it to. If you're still willing to try it PLEASE do! It's an icon of pop culture for a reason!

#an ask

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horizon-forbidden-sheesh · 4 months

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Writing Process: Timelines & Trackers

Okayyy, so I've written about the drafting process in detail. But along the way, logistics problems tend to pop up that can't be solved in words alone.

Mostly, it has to do with knowing exactly where someone is or what someone is doing at the same time as another character I'm writing. For instance, when does Alva get back to the Base? How long is she there before Aloy shows up?

I didn't always take detailed notes on this during my first play-through. And after I abandoned my Scrivener file, (more about this here ⚙️) I decided to refine my timeline.

I already had a great foundation based on my first play-through and my New Game+ speed run. So, I started fresh, with a new game file and good old fashioned pen & paper. I'm still working through this as I write. (Just finished the Scorcher side quest!!)

*This is in a Master-size (A4) Leuchtturm notebook, in which I'm working back-to-front. I prefer purple pen and grid paper always.

Yes. I know. I am a psycho. As I mentioned in the Preamble, gaming timelines are a special interest. 💁🏼‍♀️ Plus, I build client-friendly Gantt charts for design projects IN MY SLEEP. So, taking my timeline from paper into Spreadsheet status felt like a v natural next step.

💡I started with a weekly at-a-glance, mostly because I needed to coordinate when various characters arrived back at Base:

Why yes, I am tracking Zo & Aloy's periods. Because there is no single, magical herb you can take to stop pregnancy. Don't get me wrong, I dig this trope! It's important to discuss family planning, and our genre is ✨fantasy✨ after all. But I can only suspend my disbelief so far, and there are other ways to get around this, which a Matriarchal society would probably be clued in on.

💡 This quickly evolved to a daily at-a-glance once Kotallo made it to the Base:

This spreadsheet helped me IMMENSELY as I was writing chapters 13, 14, 16, 17, & 19! Basically any time Aloy & Kotallo are not in the same location. Knowing what Kotallo is doing at the Base while Aloy is off mid-adventure has been super important to make sure their Focus calls work and feel natural.

Likewise, knowing exactly what day Erend returns, and how long they have before Aloy gets back all helps with continuity and flow.

Other Things I'm Tracking:

💡Datapoints. The whole point of the GAIA Gang is that they're sorting through the data Aloy collected during the events of HZD. And since that was an absolute whirlwind year for Aloy, I'm thinking her files are a fucking shit show—and almost none of the people sorting through them even know how to read. 😵

So, I started by accumulating all the files by location. I am assuming they're probably geo-tagged—if not, they're at least assembled in order of pick-up, which would mean they're ordered by Aloy's general location at time-of-discovery anyway.

*I crossed them out as I moved them to the next spreadsheet tab...

From this hot mess, I figure that Zo, in her infinite wisdom, took one look at Aloy's files and went, "Oh hell no."

💡Here's the way I imagine Zo organized her playlists, much to Varl, Erend, & Kotallo's relief (Meanwhile, Alva re-filtered everything, and discovered entirely new metadata categories, obviously):

The most important detail here was time!! Most of these are like 1 minute long... but 1 minute in the game is like, 20 minutes IRL. So you've gotta figure the GAIA Gang is back at Base binge-watching an entire docu-series, while simultaneously learning how to read (and procrastinating with hours and hours of bodycam battle footage).

No wonder they're always busy when Aloy shows up!

💡 And yes, these are all tabs on a single spreadsheet:

💡 "Population" is literally just a mess of numbers & formulas as I try to figure out how we went from ~20 E-9 Cradle inhabitants to multiple tribes in the span of ~700 years.

I mean in 3041 we're prolly sitting at like... maybe ~15k in the U.S.?

*On second thought, that Oseram number is probably higher.

Anywayyyy, as fun as a blank page is, my brain really does work best on a grid. The process is totally intuitive, and I create the necessary docs as I go, the same as I would for any client or project. Sometimes, you need to explain things in a way so everyone is on the same page, and I find spreadsheets invaluable in that regard. (Y'all should see my wedding planning spreadsheet, lol.)

This whole process has helped me to find what works for me, and writing fanfic is truly preparing me to write my own original works. What I've discovered is that spreadsheets are part of my flowstate. They bring me a deep sense of peace and they help me to stay on track and oriented while I'm in the weeds.

🖤 Really, I want to come back to something I said in my second 'Process' post: Do what feels natural. Everyone is different. If being 'organized' steals your joy, don't do it. Stay messy! Whatever! Who cares? The most important part is that you find your flowstate.

I found this old Hindu saying while I was copywriting for a Chinese Medicine client, and it really stuck with me: "There are a hundred paths up the mountain, so it doesn't matter which path you take. The only one wasting time is the one who runs around and around the mountain telling everyone else that their path is wrong."

I'm just here documenting my own path up my mountain. And part of me thinks that it's all incredibly self-indulgent and cringe, but hey—when has blogging ever not been?

If you've read this far, I'm grateful. It's all a bit shouting-into-the-void out here, especially when you're this deep into a niche that moved on a while ago. But I've always loved a slowburn. (And if you do too, you might consider reading The Marshal.)

xo, Sheesh.

#hfw #horizon forbidden west #kotaloy #The Marshal #the making of #writing process #writing tools #writing advice

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prototypelq · 1 year

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This is just a personal dump of media I experienced this year and wanted to share with others.

Movies!

Movie of the year (which, coincidentally, actually came out in 2022!)

Everything, Everywhere All at Once (2022)

this masterpiece of a movie is easily the best thing I have seen this year. It is also the best movie I have ever seen in my life, it has everything. It is crazy, it is dramatic and emotional, it will make you feel existential dread and love for humanity and the little things. It is beautiful and incredible and unlike anything I have ever seen. It is not for everyone (but when true art ever is?), but I believe everyone who hasn't seen it should give it a chance, because if this movie is for you, it will be the best film you have seen, maybe ever.

Honourable mentions of other amazing movies, in no particular order:

Don't Look Up (2021)

Beautiful blend of caricature and realism, I would not be surprised if all the ****s**t that happend in the story would actually happen in life. Comedy that is actually a tragedy, and I love it.

Sound of Metal (2019)

A technical wonder, the 'Sound' in the title is completely justified. Amazing movie with a touching story and a perspective on deafness and deaf communities.

Supermario Brothers (1993)

If not for the Everything, Everywhere, All at Once, this would be my movie of the year. Either people didn't have a sense of humour in 93, or they had very high expectations for a first video game adaptation movie. This movie is comedic gold. Every other comedy can only dream of getting even close to this level of humour and absurdity. Great movie, everyone who tells you otherwise is wrong, go watch it.

A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood (2019)

This movie has Tom Hanks singing lullaby songs for a children's evening show, and this perfectly explains the incredible coziness, fluffiness and comfort this movie provides. And the best thing is that it's not an overly happy movie - dealing with grief, death and other complex emotions is the heart of the story. This movie is not afraid to show that a rainbow can appear only after the rain, and it is beautiful in providing comfort for dealing with that rain.

Peanut Butter Falcon (2019)

Good roadtrip movie about male friendship and perspective of a young person with Down syndrome

Devil Wears Prada (2006)

A cautionary tale about managing personal relationships and career boost.

Night Watch (Ночной дозор) 2004

A good, very atmospheric dark russian-urban fantasy adventure movie.

Series!

Series of the year

Red vs Blue (2003-2019) (up to season 17)

I found this gem at a perfect time - a month before finishing university, and this series has been a lifesaver for me. This series has hit the golden comedy mark of Supermario Bros, and Also hit the mark for creating a great cast of characters. The comedy, the irony, the lovable idiots and their tanks, the Soundtrack, and the drama of RE- and Chorus seasons make a perfect blend for a wonderful show. Michael J Caboose is a national treasure and should be protected at all costs. Trocadero songs live rent free in my playlist.

Honourable mentions:

Resident Alien (2021-_)

Good comedy and an exploration of human emotions, relationships, familiar bonds through the eyes of an alien, played by Alan Tudyk. Has the best female-friendship I have seen in a series.

Cowboy Bebop (1998)

Never heard of this series up untill this year and OH BOY was I in for a ride. I'm not a huge anime fan, but this is certainly my favourite. The style, the music, the characters with troubled, yet unknown past, everything here is perfect. Absolutely in love with this series.

Firefly (2002-2003)

Space western AND Alan Tudyk? That's a recipe for a series I would definitely love, and I did. Awesome series.

(I don't know what's the deal with fun blond pilot man and a badass dark-skinned woman with beautiful curls combo is, but I LOVE it)

Games!

Game of the year:

Death Stranding (2019)

No other game has ever made Walking it's main mechanic. I loved the gameplay of this game So. Much. This game perfectly captures all the struggle, effort and perseverance required in real hiking, as well as the importance of human connection on the trail. I have spent 120 hours in the game before finishing the main story just enjoying deliveries, getting all my new homies on the network and rebuilding roads. I absolutely will come back to platinum that last trophy, but for now I have been enjoying the gameplay to it's fullest.

The story was sort of okay, I don't dig the Kojima writing. For all of his ambitions and genius as a game designer, I think writing is his downfall. The spectacle and the music in the game is another level though.

Bugsnax (2020)

A very weird and very fun game! Developers have made quite an effort to make all the different bugsnax fit into an entire ecosystem, and the passion for ecology and entomology shows. VAs clearly had a lot of fun voicing all the different snax.

Subnautica (2018)

Same as Bugsnax, this game has passion over marine biology written all over it and I LOVE that. Designs of all the creatures are very unique and fun. As a person with all kinds of underwater/depths/wrecks fears, this was quite a trip for me at the beginning, though I have become familiar with the game, and after maybe 10 hours it didn't scare me anymore. Sadly, the game is buggy and not very well optimised, and the survival&grind for materials aspects had me quitting the game.

Horizon Forbidden West (2022)

The only release of this year I have played, a sequel to my very beloved universe, and it was...good. The new tribes are breathtaking, the OST of this game is amazing!!!, and all the moments with Erend are precious, but I didn't like the overall story and the direction it's going for the third game. First game had a much stronger writing in my opinion. OST and gameplay however, had been masterfully upgraded to a next level. The poseidon level is a highlight which deserves it's own savefile so you can replay that bit.

I'm so glad Erend is in the sequel, but they did him dirty( Best husband deserved much better

Risk of Rain 2 (2019)

A great game I should spend more time in.

Devil May Cry 5 (2019)

Last year I have fallen into the DMC dumpster fire and I haven't been able to get out ever since. I'm not very good at the game, but I love it. Someday I will get to best doggo Cerberus stage in the Bloody Palace.

#i was trying to keep this blog mostly war-related this year #but right now i just want to have a little fun down the memory lane of this year #i hope that these things could coexist here it's a personal blog after all #everything everywhere all at once #a beautiful day in the neighborhood #sound of metal #supermario brothers #rvb #firefly #death stranding #horizon forbidden west #bugsnax #dmc

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hey-have-you-heard · 4 months

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Hey, Have You Heard These 50 Tracks from 2023?

Another year comes to a close and the music lover pulls up their trusty spotify playlist to document the high points of their year in music. You know the drill by now but in case you're new here... Songs are in alphabetical order (there is no internal rating to the 51) but if I had to choose a single song for everyone to listen to, it would be "Why Am I Alive Now", please listen to that track if nothing else. A Spotify playlist of the included songs is linked below for your listening pleasure

Fontaines DC - ' Cello Song Kicking things off with the only cover song on the list, Grian Chatten and band spin Nick Drake's song into something entirely their own, paying homage to Nick Drake's songwriting whilst pulling in the intricacies of their own unique sound and appeal.

Boygenius - $20 Screw star-signs and wizard school houses, which member of Boygenius do you align yourself with? I'm a Julien Baker stan but I adore them all, especially when their voices and styles are weaving in out of each-other in rapturous noise like this.

XL Life - Baby Steps Hardcore and punk has had a great year, a really great year, and XL Life have been a standout part of that. Backed up by a guest verse by Bob Vylan's own Bobby Vylan, Baby Steps is bursting with soul and emotion, driven by breakneck drums and heart-on-sleeve positivity

100 Gecs - Billy Knows Jamie 10,000 Gecs (the much anticipated follow up to 2019's 1000 Gecs) truly gave us the as-promised 10 times as many gecs, if a Gec is a unit of measurement for what can only be referred to as wild-genre-fuckery. Billy Knows Jamie gives us full on Bizkitesque nu-metal, including record scratches, a bass line Fieldy would be proud of and a rapid descent into utter chaos.

Algiers, Billy Woods, Backxwash - Bite Back Bite back is a masterpiece of ever-building tension, Carpenterian synths weave the track together as one musical idea gives way to another. With every new phrase and trade-off between vocalist, the threads pull tauter and tauter. The switch up at 3:10 still gives me chills every time I hear it.

Glass Beach - the CIA My favourite theatre kid emo's are back and doing what they do best, which is whatever the hell they feel like. You know when all the 70s prog rock bands fell into the 80s and needed to get radio-play so they fell into this weird sort of choppy watered down down art-pop sound (e.g. Yes)? This feels like that, but there's no actual need to conform, so Glass Beach are still free to get as weird with it as they want, whenever they want.

Blood Command - Decades Deccades is a very bad representation of Blood Command as a band (at this point I'm unsure if a good representation of the band exists), but it's a very good song. Hardcore and "Death pop" is out, R&B is in. Reverb soaked synths and horns, skittery hi-hats, layered vocals and lyrics about lost love and the Heavens Gate cult.

Liturgy - Djennaration I'll be the first to admit that Liturgy are an acquired taste (the first time I saw them live it made me feel physically ill), but if you can put on some headphones, turn up the volume and lose yourself in Liturgy's "Transcendental Black Metal" there is no other feeling quite like it in music.

Kesha - The Drama The continual evolution of Kesha's sound has been a fascinating thing to watch ever since Tik Tok put her on the brat pop map back in 2009, each album cycle has seen her stripping back elements of character, delivering ever rawer and more honest depictions of self. The Drama pulls away from pop almost entirely, what starts as a Lorde-like slow ballad tumbles into a nightmare-collage of upbeat synths, a circus show of theatrical excess as Kesha's desparately laments on a loss of faith in humanity and self. The song ends on an absurd mix of housecats and Ramones, oh the drama of it all.

Fever Ray - Even It Out Even It Out may not be the technically best song on Radical Romantics, but the idea of Karin Dreijer teaming up with Trent Reznor to make a gleefully unhinged song about violently attacking a child is just too funny to me. The rest of the album is also incredible and well worth a listen.

Follow You - Saint Agnes Oh, hey, speaking of Trent Reznor, Saint Agnes channel Nine Inch Nails on the massive distortion drenched choruses of this stand out track from Bloodsuckers. Lead singer Kitty's vocals soar over wailing guitars and crunching bass, this is the sound of a band triumphing through adversity.

Johnny Booth - Full Tilt I remember seeing a comment when this first released that summed up how ifelt about it perfectly. "This has slap fucks". Yes, selppin2, I couldn't of put it better myself. Johnny Booth have been consistently hitting it out the park for the past few years and this is no exception, absolutely brutal stuff.

Creeper - Further Than Forever Creeper's Sanguivore is an album to be devoured in it's entirety, I couldn't choose a single song so this is merely a goth-punk-opera overture. A nine minute long homage to the theatrical tendencies of Jim Steinman. If you enjoy any part of this, Sanguivore is a must listen for you.

Crosses - Ghost Ride Chino Moreno swaps out the rumbling wall of guitars of Deftones for pulsing bass synths and sparse electronic drums with the second album from his side project with Far's Shaun Lopez. Ghost Ride is a sultry slow build that crashes into industrial-pop(?) choruses.

Idles - Grace Idles (to my surprise) were my most listened to band of last year, and if Grace is a sign of things to come on Tangk, they're in with a shot for 2024 as well. Grace finds Joe Talbot swapping out the political battering ram of a growl he's employed previously for a soulful tone, a message of peace and love, and its hauntingly beautiful to behold. No God, no king, love is the thing.

BENEE - Green Honda You may remember BENEE from tiktok's 2019 supahit Supalonely, she's still writing bops. Two middle fingers up, leave you in the rearview, bops.

Free Refills - Grounded What can I say, I'm a sucker for a good bassline, and this is a great bassline.

Pendulum, Bullet For My Valentine - Halo (Matt Tuck Rework) On his rework of Halo, Matt Tuck keeps all the energy of the original mix but ups the aggression. This is the sound of Pendulum at their heaviest and best.

Tokky Horror, Scottish Gabber Punk - HAMMER 2 THE FACE (Scottish Gabber Punk Remix) Speaking of energy and aggression... it doesn't get much more energy and aggression than this, hammer 2 the face is a fitting title for the brutality of this track.

MSPAINT - Hardwired MSPAINT are a hardcore punk band with a notable lack of guitar, the instrumentation instead filled out with colourful synths. The result is a unique and engaging sound unlike anything else in the genre.

Empire State Bastard - Harvest ESB are my kind of supergroup, formed of Biffy Clyro's Simon Neil, Oceansize's Mike Vennart and Slayer's Dave Lombardo (yes, you read that right). Simon Neil is delivering career best vocal performances, Mike Vennart is stirring up unholy hell on guitar and Dave Lombardo is doing what Dave Lombardo does best.

Alice Longyu Gao - Hëłłœ Kįttÿ I didn't think we could get more unhinged than last years MONK, with it's thrash metal guitar and vib ribbon solo, but here we are in the year of our lord 2023 and I'm listening to car clown horns. BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM.

Bob Vylan - He's a Man Do y'all remember the Lindsay Lohan Freaky Friday movie? There was a great song in it called Take Me Away... anyway, I forget why I mentioned that, but this song is really fun.Great cheeky lyrics and love that guitar riff.

Fall Out Boy - Hold Me Like A Grudge This may just be a nostalgia pull, but that intro transported me back to hearing Dance, Dance for the first time. Hold Me Like A Grudge does a masterful job of pulling together elements of FOBs classic sound and their more recent poop sensibilities that has had me enjoying their sound in a way I haven't since Infinity On High

Evie Enby - Homies Oops, how did this get in here? Please appreciate the one note guitar solo.

FIZZ - I Just Died My general lack of enthusiasm for The Beatles is fairly well documented by this point, but one of the best things they did for pop music was use the clarinet on When I'm Sixty Four. Well good news, I no longer have to listen to The Beatles to get my clarinet fix. Now that the Beatles reference for this year's list is done.. I just died is a song about an absolutely mortifying experience delivered with great mirth. It's a fantastic, sing-along-in-the-shower bop, and have I mentioned the clarinet solo?

CLT DRP - I Put My Baby To Sleep (It's pronounced Clit Drip) What can I say, another explosive, genre defying, track by one of the best bands in the world. Now go listen to the entirety of Nothing Clever, Just Feelings.

Orla Gartland - Kiss Ur Face Forever Joyous, peppy and "let's play a game of emotional monopoly, in the name of monogamy" may be the best couplet I've heard this year. It's just fun, so much fun.

Bring Me The Horizon - LosT When LosT first dropped, I referred to it as the geccification of BMTH, I meant that in the best possible way. I really enjoy how the hyper-pop elements lift this track up. "The next time that I open up to someone will be my autopsy" is one of the finest Oli Sykes-isms we've had in a long time.

Swans - No More Of This Okay, so the actual Swans track that should be on this list is The Beggar Lover (Three) but apparently putting an uncompromising, nigh impenetrable, 43 minute long epic in the middle of a playlist is terrible for retention, and I'm a coward. But if you have a spare 50 minutes, go give it a listen.

Pupil Slicer - No Temple Pupil Slicer continue to prove themselves to be one of the most exciting bands in Mathcore. Pushing against the boundaries of genre in a genre where pushing against boundaries is a core philosophy, No Temple is, according to the band, the heaviest song they've ever written. The bass guitar work is an exceptional standout for me here as it pushes against the rest of the song.

Carly Rae Jepsen - Psychedelic Switch With every CRJ album project comes a B-sides album, and with every B-sides album comes an absolute banger. Psychedelic Switch is undoubtedly this for the Loneliest Time/Loveliest Time project. You'd be forgiven for thinking Daft Punk themselves reunited to produce this french disco flavoured bop.

Soft Play - Punk's Dead Who the fuck are Soft Play? Sound like a bunch of lefty snowflakes. I've missed these boys, doing this kind of thing. The Robbie Williams feature is inspired.

Chappell Roan - Red Wine Supernova Red Wine Supernova is sexy, self-assured, feel-good, sapphic fun. It's a testament to how good a song is that lyrics like "I heard you like magic, I've got a wand and a rabbit" doesn't detract from it, but actually elevates it's effortless charm.

JAAW - Rot JAAW are an industrial metal "supergroup" formed of members of Therapy, Three Trapped Tigers, Sex Swing and Biglad. That is likely mostly gibberish to the average music listener, but to a niche few, it's a very exciting prospect. What it sounds like is swelling, tumultuous walls of noise, tortured screams, screeching guitars and pulsing distorted bass. Catharsis through noise.

Better Lovers - Sacrificial Participant More supergroup! Greg Puciato teams up with ex-members of Every Time I Die and Will Putney (of Fit For an Autopsy). I was devastated by the split of ETID, (off the back of the phenomenal Radical adn jsut before I was due to see them live), but Better Lovers is one hell of a silver lining. Puciato's energetic vocals bounce wildly off of the erratic musicianship that was the cornerstone of ETID's sound. It's a perfect match on record and is even better live.

Architects - Seeing Red Bless Architects. They're a band that are truly a victim of their own success, as they've tried to pull their sound and ethos in new directions it's been met with a huge amount of negativity from their own fanbase. Seeing Red is a reaction to this. "You want heavy? Here's heavy. Are you happy now?". Blegh.

Teen Mortgage - Sick Day Sick Day is a 2 minute punk blitz about how you are worth so much more than your labour and how having a cute cat you want to look at is a perfectly valid reason to stay at home. Capitalism 0 - Cats 1.

Purity Ring, Black Dresses - Shines Purity Ring and Black Dresses are both Canadian electronic duos and that's about where the similarities stop, but that just makes this collaboration all the more interesting. There's so much going on here, the chaotic harsh frenetic noise of Black Dresses, Ada Rook's screams, the twinkling synths of Purity Ring and sing-song melodies of Megan James. Somehow it pulls together to create something of true beauty in its own weird way.

Dream Nails - Sometimes I Do Get Lonely, Yeah Dream Nails take on the rising issue of incel culture and red-pill ideology, with grace and empathy. Pointing fingers not at individuals but at the systems and powers that enable and create these pipelines to hatred and bigotry. It's a bold and challenging idea, executed superbly.

Baby Dave - Sounds Good When a fan sends you an unhinged voice message out of the blue offering you a bite suit and dogs to shoot a music video, obviously the thing to do is make a song out of it, then take them up on their offer and use it as the video for that song. There's a great OPM era The Streets vibe to this track that plays off nicely of the grounded reality of its subject.

Sleep Token - The Summoning Sleep Token do the impossible, they make prog-metal (the unsexiest of all genres) , undeniably sexy. Nowhere is this clearer than on The Summoning, a 6-and-a-half minute epic of a track with multiple time signature changes and tonal flips, that somehow still oozes with a swaggering sexuality throughout it's runtime. The out-of-nowhere funk switch up on the end of this track is perfection.

Lambrini Girls - Terf Wars Love those Lambrini Girls, they say what I'm thinking, and they say it loud.

Ezra Furman - Tether This one had me in floods of tears from the first listen. A classic string-laden piano ballad about inescapable pasts and the desire to cut yourself free from who and where you've been.

The St. Pierre Snake Invasion - That There's Fighting Talk This track does two things it builds and it STOMPS, like real "put on your heaviest boots and then strap lead weights to them because they need to be heavier" stomps. An industrial-mathcore floor-filler, the song crescendoes then continues to crescendo into ever greater insanity. Get Stomping.

Calva Louise - Third Class Citizen Calva Louise's sound has evolved so much since I first fell in love with the band listening to their 2017 debut single Getting Closer. Third Class Citizen has elements of Muse in it's bass-lines, stadium-sized guitar riffs and fizzing production. The vocals and lyrical content make it something altogether its own though, the palpable fury in vocalist Jess' voice as she demands "Respect, motherfucker" is real and visceral.

HEALTH - Unloved Off the back of their genre spanning, multi-release collaboration project, DISCO4, RAT WARS sees HEALTH back in a focused mode and delivering their heaviest album to date. Unloved is a moment of relative respite on the album though, a Depeche Mode tinged track, soaked in 80's reverb and ready for the goth club. HEALTH pull you into their world of misery and beauty with catchy hooks and pulsing bass.

Anohni and the Johnsons - Why Am I Alive Now This year saw the release of "My Back Was A Bridge For You To Cross", Anohni's first studio album with her band since 2010's Swanlights. The abrasive electronics of her solo albums are traded in for warm soulful tones and a raw almost live-feeling instrumentation. It's a beautiful, deeply emotive, and incredibly present sounding album. Feeling as if you are being drawn into the recording process itself, Why Am I Alive Now? is an existential lament on finding purpose in a purposeless world, in navigating through suffering to find hope and love. On learning why to be, when it feels like the world is set on stopping you from being.

HMLTD - Wyrmlands THE WORM IS HERE! Wyrmlands is an example of one track on an album that should be listened to in its entirety. The Worm is a concept album at its most conceptual, eschewing genre and at times structure entirely in favour of narrative and ~vibes~. It's a dizzying disorientating listen, that will leave you' with more questions than answers, but thankful for making an attempt 're mind awash with unanswered questions and fresh ideas.

Billy Woods, Kenny Segal, Danny Brown - Year Zero Year Zero refers to an apocalyptic cultural reset. Society has reached a breaking point and we must start from scratch, everything before was for nothing. Billy Woods and Danny Brown play two different sides of the same coin. Woods, stony faced and deadly serious "My taxes pay police brutality settlements" is the herald of the end "Burn it down with us inside". Danny Brown, the manic joker, revelling in the freedom of a new world, rhyming Good Will Hunting with Cool Runnings and dropping bars about ice cream machines. It's a compelling way to deliver a narrative.

#music #2023 #Spotify

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hyuccubus · 7 months

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Happy STS! Seasons are changing. Tell me how one or more of your characters would react. Are they dressing cozy? Obsessed with everything pumpkin? Have they been prepping for Halloween since last year?

Whew, many characters to dream up feelings about this. Sounds like fun, though! All the characters are from Target Practice

Swift: It's been a while since Swift got invested in the spirit of the season. He's not a curmudgeon, he just longs for the most important aspect of the holidays; a complete, happy, content family. He's more of a "go with the flow" sort of celebrator over the course of the novel as it happens. "Oh, you're making hot chocolate? I'd love a cup. No, no, don't bring it over, I'll get up." "Oh, we're carving pumpkins? No, I know I didn't bring one, I'll just watch everyone else. Here, let me get your pumpkin guts out of the way." "Oh, we're decorating for Halloween? I'll get up on the ladder to put up the spider webs." He has a habit of giving himself the undesirable tasks, on the one hand to make sure no one else gets it, but also so everyone knows he's reliable.

(I understand you, Swift)

Patches: Oh my GOD there's so much to do, we have to take in every single aspect of this season while it's around, we can actually be outside most of the day and not want to die! We gotta stop by that food stall that only opens during the autumn in the park, they have those pumpkin spice cake pops!!! Plays in the park auditorium at dusk, community trick or treat events, Rocky Horror Picture Show midnight screenings! THE WORLD IS OUR OYSTER!

Ira: Ira would rather die than admit this to present company, but she adores the holidays. Like a metronome, she has drifted from one pole to the other due to past traumas. She will suppress holiday cheer in order to avoid the disappointment that comes with knowing she can't celebrate them with her birth family, but about a week before the big day, she'll swing to the other extreme, guzzling hot toddies and making spooky ghost cookies, forcing the entire group to share ghost stories (much to Specs and Rat's chagrin). She can't help herself.

Lumo: Lumo's all about tradition. It can seem like he's limiting his fun to an itinerary, but structure is fun to him.

"We're decorating cookies at 11, then we're going to the pumpkin patch at 2:00 to pick one that we like, and the appointment is at two sharp, so we're leaving at 1:15, and then when we get back, we're going to carve them right away, 'cause otherwise they'll just be sitting around. I have a playlist I've already made, all the greats, Monster Mash, Flying Purple People Eater, the classics. Then we'll roast the seeds, which will be done in time for a double feature of Nightmare Before Christmas and Wendell and Wild, and it's going to be amazing and no one is going to complain."

Gharial: Gharial, like the eternal cinnamon bun he be, gets into the Halloween spirit the moment the first leaf changes color. Pumpkin spice lattes, sweaters, watching Hocus Pocus on repeat, and tormenting Rat with matching costume ideas. Families might change, but holidays are always there, and rather than live in the past, Gharial prefers the prospect of making new memories with the people he loves right now.

Rat: Guys, can't we slow down with the decorations?

...I didn't say I didn't want to help put them up.

Specs: Wake me up on Halloween night. I am dressing as Oracle from Batman. That is all.

Bruja: The perfect celebration buddy. Down for whatever, whenever. Haunted Forest? I'm gonna make the chainsaw clown laugh. Hayride? I'll bring the blankets! Movie marathon? I've already got popcorn in the microwave. Since Specs and Bruja are together so often, Specs is often along for the ride, though it's less to do with the spirit of the season than it is the blood of the covenant.

Thanks for the ask, Tori! Even after ten years, I'm learning new things about my characters every day.

#queer writers #writeblr #current wip #authors #sts

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birlwrites · 7 months

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hi hi 🤡🎶⛔❌👀 <333

🤡 What’s a line, scene, or exchange you’ve written that made you laugh?

aghsgkhsjdkf i make myself laugh all the time, but i'm going to supply a few specific things:

the first one is from chapter 16 set those ghosts alight, a couple of lines that always make me giggle:

Roping Snape in on Regulus's plan is going pretty well, all things considered. "Absolutely not," Snape says.

in general, snape in stga makes me laugh - every conversation he has with regulus is like he's actively preparing someone's epitaph

and i think most people follow me here for my hp fic but imo, the actual funniest stuff i've written is for all for the game - i have a booktuber andrew fic and a series of andrew and jean being roommates that very often make me cackle

🎶 Do you listen to music while you write? What song have you been playing on loop lately?

i generally listen to music to match a specific vibe, rather than having playlists for particular wips - recently i haven't been listening to much music while i write because it does often distract me and i need to really focus to get lachrimae right afjslghjkf, but if i were you by nothing but thieves is a go-to whenever i need to write something that feels intense (and i do sometimes just flat-out loop one song for hours if it has the right vibes afjslghsjkdf, that's often the best balance for me between listening to music and not getting distracted by it)

⛔ Do you have a fic you started, but scrapped?

oh plenty!! i have a lot of ideas that just kind of go away and become fuel for other ideas. one that actually got pretty far before i stopped working on it has a working title of 'murder husbands: the accidental longfic' - in which regulus and evan murder their fathers in cold blood (with some unknowing help from the order of the phoenix) to become wizengamot lords and cause problems for voldemort and the death eaters

i say it 'got pretty far' but i just mean that it's almost 17k of disjointed scenes lmao, i never figured out where it was going. it's the first fic i ever wrote with heather as a character though! also the first fic i ever wrote with katherine - she and regulus almost get into a duel at evan's father's funeral agshlgjdklf

❌ What’s a trope you will never write?

fan of the show/book/whatever somehow ends up in the universe of the show/book/whatever - i guess that's more of a premise than a trope but it just doesn't hold any appeal for me

ok an actual trope - when 2 siblings are romantically interested in the same person. i can't see myself ever writing that. i don't have like, an articulated *reason* for it - it just doesn't vibe with my brain, i think maybe because as far as romantic drama goes, i prefer when the drama is really centered on whatever's endgame - so love triangles tend to feel kind of aimless to me, and then when there's additional sibling drama wrapped up in it i just don't vibe with it

👀 Tell me about an up and coming wip please!

i'm talking about lachrimae a lot rn already but i think it qualifies ajfslhgjksdf - there's a mystery at the center of it, which makes it hard for me to ramble the way i want to without spoiling the surprise, but i will say i'm adding gifted kid burnout angst to it because idk i like to really twist the knife as i'm writing i guess??? regulus wasn't going through enough already???

seriously though i'm super excited for it - chronologically, it's a LOT messier than ttdl, and i'm having a lot of fun with the combinations of flashbacks and visions and memories. putting it together kind of feels like assembling a scrapbook - i have all the excerpts from hydromanipulation written out and ready to go!

<3 <3 <3

send me fic writer emoji asks!

#ask games #should i make an inbox tag

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chaotic-theatrical-weaver · 1 year

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The Hardest Part + Ellie’s isolated women, part one

Okay! Everyone gather around for a show because your Ellie IS NOT FINE. The plan is to do Part One from Elizabeth’s point of view, Part Two from Alana’s, and Part Three for the Misguided Torchbearers set. I’m going to go in the order in which I have this album’s songs on the characters’ playlists.

Starting with “Ready to Go,” which I feel encapsulates the self-fulfilling nature of Elizabeth’s fearful-avoidant attachment. I put it just before she realizes that John’s having an affair for that very reason.

“Is it what I deserve/To spend in the last of my love/On someone I knew that I’d always lose?/I stay, we’ll burn/’Til you leave first/So go, if you’re ready to go, yeah, make your move/No, I won’t follow/It’s inevitable and we both know that we’re on borrowed time”?!

NO THE SADDEST PART IS THAT IT DIDN’T HAVE TO BE THIS WAY BUT HER FEARFUL-AVOIDANT ATTACHMENT PRECLUDES HER FROM ASKING JOHN FOR HELP, CAUSING HER TO BE MISCONSTRUED AS UNCARING WHEN SHE’S JUST DEPRIVED OF WARMTH AND TERRIFIED TO ASK. HELP. MY CHEST HURTS. You could have dropped my backpack on top of it and it would hurt less than this. Especially when you add my headcanon to this, which posits that she has alexithymia and finds emotions--both her own and others’--difficult to read, even though she feels so strongly.

This is really self-explanatory and I’m not going to add too much to it, so on to “Every Beginning Ends.” THE ENTIRE DUET IS THEIR DYNAMIC WITH ALL THIS MISCOMMUNICATION. THE ENTIRE DUET--special mention to the first verse, though.

“You went to sleep without saying you love me/I guess I thought you already knew/You’ve been so cold and far from me, darling/Someone’s at fault, but I’m not blaming you”

Now this goes from both perspectives, but the parallel between that and “Suspicion kissed you when I did, I never knew how I should say my love”?! It’s utterly destroying me. THEY JUST CAN’T EXPRESS IT AND THEY READ EACH OTHER SO DIFFERENTLY AND SOMEHOW EXPECT THE WORST, BUT THAT WHOLE TIME, THERE WAS JUST LOVE?! AHHH--

THEN THERE’S “My Side of the Bed” AND SOMEONE SAVE ME I AM SCREECHING, THIS IS JUST CONTINUING OFF OF “Ready to Go”!!!! Again, this entire thing is them (it’s so lyrically similar to “Every Beginning Ends,” but shoutout to the following lines:

“...I know you want space/It’s not what you said/But the way that you said that you’re fine/When you rolled over in your sleep last night/I thought you were leavin’ me/I know it’s not you, I believe there’s somethin’ missin’ in me”

AHHH THE PAIN. THE FEARFUL-AVOIDANT ATTACHMENT OF IT ALL. THAT LAST LINE--”I know it’s not you, I believe there’s somethin’ missin’ in me”--AND HOW IT RELATES TO HER BURNOUT FROM MASKING AND SUBSEQUENT FEELINGS OF INADEQUACY. “I counted myself so plain, so poorly made, no honest love should come to me”?! SOMEONE HELP WE FOUND IT. WE FOUND IT.

“My heart’s paper-thin and the softest of words can send me spiralin’/So I guess that my question after all of this would be/’Are you leavin’ me?/Oh, are you leavin’ me?’ “

I’m just gonna present this without comment. It’d hurt too much if I tried.

Moving past that into the heartbreak section--poor Elizabeth has had her fears confirmed and is left reeling. This of course leads us to “I Burned LA Down.”

“You left a hole in my chest when you left/And my heart followed you out the door/And I stood and bled in the hall, watched it all/And the mess that it left on the floor/If I gave you less, would you want me more?/And you could’ve said anything at all”

She blames herself for not being enough and wishes John had said something. If she had only known about the needs she wasn’t meeting, she would have done just about anything she could have, but it’s too late for that now.

“Ooh, embers in the dark/Can look just like shooting stars/To a bitter, broken heart/Oh, I wish I hadn’t burned the city down/’Cause you didn’t care, no, you didn’t care/Yeah, I burned LA down and you left me there, oh, you left me there”

As anyone would expect, she feels angry, but I feel like with those first three lines, it’s more at herself for genuinely believing she could have had anything resembling long-lasting happiness. The burning city represents the speaker’s own heart in my normal analysis, and that definitely fits here--for John, Elizabeth would be more than willing to burn twice as bright, even if she lost her own warmth in the process.

“You can’t even make a god of somebody who’s not/Even half of a half-decent man”

SHE PINNED SO MUCH OF HER HOPE ON HIM ONLY FOR THIS TO HAPPEN...MY HEART.

With that being said, it’s time for “Hardest Part,” where she’s struggling to come to terms with the fact that she’s no longer the same and has lost so much of herself.

“The hardest part of going home/Is facing that you’re getting older/And everything you’ve ever known/Is over/And all the paths are overgrown/The sun is down, it’s getting colder/And everything you’ve ever known/Is over, is over”

Elizabeth spends enough time staring in at her soul and “going home,” realizing that everything she thought she knew is gone:

“In your eyes, I see the fire/That so long ago was burning/Through our smiles, we tried to hide it/All the years that we’ve been hurting/We don’t get too long/That’s why I’m holding on”

THIS HIT HARD. SHE FEELS THE NEED TO MASK BECAUSE SHE GREW UP BEING TOLD TO HATE WHAT’S UNDERNEATH--THEY THINK IT’S DISOBEDIENT AND WRONG AND SHE INTERNALIZES THAT. THIS is what leads to so much of her pain! (And to think that my friend still doesn’t sympathize...Sunny, I AM IN YOUR CEILING READY TO JUMP DOWN. I can make quite a landing for someone so small...)

We finally get one relatively happy song in the healing section of the playlist: “Noah (Stand Still).” The main point of the song, “stand[ing] still” throughout adversity, is literally just the speaker coming to a conclusion on how to deal with life going forward after much reflection on the past, and it feels appropriate here:

“Just stand still/You’ll be right, you’ll be wrong/You’ll be fine ‘cause life goes on and on”

I recall a Tumblrite posting about loving life because you never think you’ll make it through things and then you always do. (I sadly can’t find the post anymore, but if anyone can, PLEASE LINK ME TO IT I DESPERATELY NEED IT.) That’s just it, a nice self-explanatory little package.

One more sad song before the torchbearing starts, and that’s “Loretta’s Song.” I’m not going to spend too much time on this because like the previous song, this one is also pretty obvious (and also since it’s a pretty personal one for Noah, even more so than the previous line, and I draw the line at comparing her real experiences to a play I’m too stuck on). Suffice it to say that “When I’m gone, don’t cry for me” and “‘Cause life’s too long for to keep regret/And love’s too strong to lay down for death/I know you’re hurting, but it’s not the end/So hold on, darling, I will see you again” reads rather similarly to John’s parting words for Elizabeth: “Give them no tear! Tears pleasure them! Show honor now, show a stony heart and sink them with it!” The ‘life’s too long for to keep regret” part in particular is also reminiscent of why he decided it was better to hang and keep his honor than live falsely and betray both his friends and his own values.

Okay, now that we’ve gotten past that, this is the last song in this post and it’s actually a relatively happy one, though also somewhat frustrated and tired: “I Just Want a Lover.” I already posted my analysis of it and as much as I’m trying not to rehash it all, I can’t help myself and I’m so sorry. Just live with it.

“In the united hate of America/The hearts are just as broken as the nation/Where all we do is tear each other down/Trapped inside this permanent staycation”

Salem goes around pretending it cares about its vulnerable, but in truth, it seems to consider some forms of vulnerability (young women and girls) worth more protection than others (homeless people, the elderly, scorned outcasts, and, from what little we see of Tituba, black people), and the ones that aren’t viewed as worth protecting suffer under this messed-up hierarchy of sorts (for lack of a better word because the only other one I could think of was “triage”), all while the town touts its so-called “protection” to make itself look like a community of godly people when it’s just full of hypocrites. The ones viewed as worth protecting (the girls) tear down other vulnerable people out of fear or for their own gain.

Elizabeth looks out at this and is righteously angered by it. She realizes she’s been living under such a system since childhood, where her “difficult” behavior was viewed as willful disobedience of authority and therefore sinful. She was reduced to her mistakes, and doubtless many others who have done worse than she has have suffered the same way. This in spite of the fact that God is also forgiving and “a mistake is just a state of [one’s] identity.”

As the town’s hypocritical cruelty increases (”the twisting of the knife”), people try harder to pretend things are fine (”the bend until the break”) and accept the little bits of fake protection the system pats itself on the back for offering (”A kiss and I go blind/Can’t see it’s just my fate and it’s unlivable”). Elizabeth therefore concludes that society needs to fulfill its promises instead of lying and offering false hope for its own benefit: “I just want a lover who’s in love with me/Not another liar making love to me.”

The second verse is just her in Act Four:

“I picked my conscience over clarity/And deal with the disparity/It’s anarchy/And the narcissists all run at me/With guns ablaze, no empathy, insanity”

In other words, she chose what’s right (refusing to make John confess, even if that refusal meant losing him) over what’s clear (asking him to confess and keeping him, allowing the system to intimidate others into believing in it once more) and cannot believe just how unjust the results were. Parris and others like him try to talk her out of letting this happen, not empathizing with her desire for her husband to keep the goodness he’s long strived for.

Anyway, I am sorry for keeping you this long (THIS IS 80% OF THE ALBUM, PEOPLE, not counting bonus tracks) and it will likely happen again. Still, stay tuned for the next two parts. I hope they won’t be this bad. Please pretend this is a normal time for me to post this and a normal thing to do to procrastinate on homework with. I got barely anything done today and I’ll have to wake up very early tomorrow as compensation. I’m horrible, I know, but I hope I’ll have my redemption arc soon.

#arthur miller #the crucible #classic lit #classic literature #noah cyrus #the hardest part #ready to go #every beginning ends #my side of the bed #i burned la down #hardest part #noah stand still #loretta's song #i just want a lover #ellie's text-to-text #ellie's isolated women #ellie's song analysis #ellie's song analysis (fandom version)

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bowiewashington · 8 days

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Drabble: Scenes from an (On-Set) Relationship

Title: Scenes from an (On-Set) Relationship Rating: R (for language mostly) Word Count: 4100 Characters: Bennett “Bowie/Benny” Washington, Benjamin “Benny” Monroe, Darlene Cohen, Amanda “Mandy” Bach Relationships: Bennett Washington/Benjamin Monroe, Bennett Washington & Darlene Cohen, Bennett Washington & Amanda Bach, Bennett Washington & Amanda Bach & Benjamin Monroe Trigger Warnings: Underage (relationship, implied sexual content, marriage), domestic violence (emotional manipulation, love bombing, gaslighting), spoilers for a fictional episode of Law & Order and multiple spoilers for a fictional television show that sadly only exists in my head. Summary: Five times Bowie and Benny were awkward on set. Or five glimpses into Bowie and Benny’s relationship on-set. Playlist: A Death After Life Fan Mix

2005

Benny didn’t understand exactly what filming a pilot meant. Sure, he was seven years old, and that meant he wasn’t a baby, but no one had explained to him what pilot meant. All he knew was that his dad was really excited because the producer was one of his friends. That really didn’t mean much to him, but things were always easier when his parents were happy. It usually meant they forgot he existed, and that was his favorite way to deal with his parents. Still, it would have been nice if someone explained why it was such a big deal.

It wasn’t like it was his first time on a TV set. Hello, he got to play a killer on Law and Order last year. Obviously he knew what he was doing. He just didn’t understand what the difference was between the usual guest star spots he did, and filming a pilot. From what he could tell pilots weren’t a real show, but they could be a real show one day. He just didn’t understand why this wasn’t a real show and why everyone kept putting an emphasis on the fact that it was a pilot, and kept telling him he needed to throw his everything into this role. It was making him really mad, and he hated when he was mad because being mad usually made him cry, which made people think he was a baby, which he obviously wasn’t. Bennett just thought it was annoying.

“Hey, are you okay?”

He glanced up, and found another boy towering over him. No. He wasn’t a boy. He was a teenager. A tall teenager, and he was pretty. Also, he looked really familiar, but Benny wasn’t sure why.

“Yes.” He lied, even though he felt his lip wobbling. “It’s not like I’m lost or anything. I already did make-up and hair… It’s just…” He huffed in annoyance. “Everyone’s treating me like a baby and no one will tell me what’s going on.”

The teenager made a pitying face, and for a moment Benny hated him. Then his face smoothed out, and Benny couldn’t help but to like him again. “Is this your first pilot?” He asked as he squatted down to Benny’s height. Ugh, he hated when people did that. It made him feel like a little kid, and he couldn’t be a little kid – he worked. People who worked weren’t little kids. Still… there was something about this person that made him want to trust him, and he didn’t know why.

Benny bit his lip as he thought about lying. Instead he found himself saying, “Is it that obvious?”

He laughed and shook his head. “Only ‘cause you look like you don’t know what’s going on. I looked like that during my first pilot shoot, too. C’mon.” He bounced to his feet and nodded his head over towards craft services. “No one is paying attention to us. Let’s raid the sweets before the adults notice.”

A grin slid across Benny’s features when he realized that this guy didn’t try touching him. Adults tried to touch him all the time and he hated that. Why did strangers think it was okay to hold his hand just because he was younger than them? “So, uh… what is a pilot? No one has told me. Oh! I’m Benny by the way.”

Suddenly the teen started laughing. “No shit?” He asked him, shaking his head. He held up a hand as if to tell Benny that he wasn’t laughing at him, just laughing. “My name is Benny, too. That’s gotta mean something, right? Us having the same name?” The teen, no, Benny, asked him. “Although if we have a lot of scenes together, that’s gonna get confusing real fast.”

Benny found himself laughing, too. And he liked how he didn’t censor himself. Some people tried to limit their swearing around him, like he hadn’t filmed a movie with Samuel L. Jackson when he was five. “Do you think they did that on purpose?” He asked Benny, almost shyly.

The other Benny shook his head. “Nah, I think it was just a happy accident.” He took a cookie off the table and handed it to Benny. “A pilot is a filmed sales pitch to TV stations. It’s how they show the networks what the show would be like. And then test audiences watch it. If they like it, then a station will pick up the show and we get to film the whole show.”

Instead of saying something, Benny shoved the cookie in his mouth as he thought about what the other Benny said. After he swallowed he found himself muttering out, “Thank you.” And when he got a weird look, he added on: “For explaining what a pilot was.”

It was quiet as they both ate their cookies. It didn’t feel uncomfortable though, which was new for Benny. Usually new people made him feel uncomfortable, but Benny was different. He wasn’t sure what that meant.

2006

It was his first day on set, and everything was starting to hit him. This was his show. He had his own TV show. He wasn’t going to be a guest star. He wasn’t going to just film for a week, and then move onto something else. No, this was his TV show. He wasn’t going to leave after completing an arc, or after filming an episode like he had for the pilot. No! He was eight years old, and was going to be filming thirteen whole episodes because they were a mid-season filler show. He was practically a TV star already.

“Hey, are you lost?” A teenage girl asked him. She didn’t look familiar, and he vaguely remembered that they had recast the person they originally hired to play Alice. They didn’t think she had good chemistry with him, but he didn’t know who they cast. He guessed that was who this was. Unless it was a guest star?

He made a face at her. “No. Are you?” He snapped at her.

She started laughing. “Oh! You must be Benny Junior.” She said, holding out a hand for him to shake. “I’m Mandy. Well, Amanda, but like only my parents call me that. I’m playing your mom. Well, sort of your mom since I think your character is older than mine, even though you’re actually younger than me.”

Benny found himself relaxing slightly, as he shook her hand. She seemed nice, and she wasn’t baby talking him like the first person who played Alice had. Something she said was bugging him. “Benny Junior?” He asked with a frown.

Mandy nodded. “Well, like, it’d be weird to call you Big Benny and Little Benny. So everyone’s been calling you Benny Senior and Benny Junior.” She explained as she pulled him over to the chairs that were set out for them.

He made a face. “That makes it sound like we’re related, and…” He shook his head. “I don’t want to be related to him.”

A surprised snort escaped from Mandy. “How old are you again?” She asked with a huffing laugh. “I think you’re a little young to have a crush on someone who’s eighteen.”

Benny groaned. “I don’t have a crush on Benny.” He whined out, feeling his face getting hot. “He’s just really nice, and we had a lot of scenes together in the pilot.”

Mandy laughed. “Sure.” She didn’t sound like she believed him. “So… we need to figure out a different name so people don’t get confused.” Her nose wrinkled up as she thought. “So he’s a Benjamin and you’re a Bennett, right?”

He nodded.

“Ben and Benny wouldn’t be too bad.” She admitted. “But you don’t look like a Ben and Benny Se-” She changed direction when she saw whatever face he was making. “Other Benny doesn’t like being called anything else. He’s older so he has seniority. Sorry, dude.”

Benny shrugged. “Nah, that makes sense.” He admitted before taking off the big clunky necklace that wardrobe made him wear. It was hurting his neck.

“Bow?” Mandy asked as she took the necklace from him, and saw the sticker wardrobe but on the back of it so they knew it was his. “You’re supposed to take these off when you put your costume on.” She explained. “They do that when it’s a piece that’s going to be specific to you for a long time. Guess we have to work on your neck strength.” She took the sticker off, and handed him the necklace back. “Why’d they put Bow though?”

Once he knew what she was talking about, he shrugged. “Those are my initials: B. O. W. -- Bennett Orion Washington.” He explained.

She grinned. “Bow.” She rolled the name around in her mouth. “That could be a cool name, but it sounds a little off.”

“Bowie.” He corrected, perking up in his chair. “Bowie Washington.”

Mandy all but shook him. “YES! That’s it! Bowie. Bowie and Benny. That just sounds right.”

“What just sounds right?”

Bowie turned around to find Benny standing behind him. “Our names.” And why was his face feeling hot again? “Benny and Bowie.”

To his credit, it only took Benny a minute to realize what Bowie was talking about. “Bowie…” He tried the name out, much like how Mandy had. “Like your initials, right? That’s cute.” Before anyone could say anything else, someone called out to Benny and he left them after giving Bowie’s shoulder a gentle squeeze.

“Oh, yeah. You don’t have a crush at all.” Mandy teased.

“Shut up.”

2011

“C’mon, Bee. No one’s gonna say anything. I promise.” Benny was sprawled across the couch in Bowie’s trailer, half-assed playing Grand Theft Auto. Bowie barely played video games. He didn’t even know why he had an Xbox. Actually… that might have actually been Benny’s. They had separate trailers but somehow they always ended up hanging out in Bowie’s trailer, and eating and napping in Benny’s trailer. Bowie didn’t even know how that happened. Sometimes it was hard to remember what his life was like without Benny in it.

Sighing, Bowie looked up from his homework. He was only thirteen, but he was almost finished with his sophomore coursework. Bowie was determined to finish all of his high school coursework before he was sixteen. It was an easy enough goal when all he did was work, and hang out with Benny. “Yeah, I think I’m gonna stand out in a nightclub, Benny.” He pointed out with a shrug as he closed his notebook. When Benny got into moods like this, it was impossible to get anything else done.

“It’s not like a ‘nightclub’ nightclub.” Benny tried to explain as he paused the game, and made grabby hands for Bowie. “It’s an afterparty for my new movie. It’s a movie premiere. It just happens to be in a nightclub. But they’re not going to card you or anything. You’re going to be my date.”

And that was a new thing that started happening a few months ago. Benny started calling their dinners out ‘dates,’ and he’d started using pet names all the time. It had caught Bowie off guard at first, but no one on set had said anything bad about it so he figured that meant it must be okay – whatever this was.

Sighing, Bowie crawled onto the couch, his newly gangly limbs making the climb a little more awkward than what he was used to. He overcompensated, and wound up half-sprawled across Benny, his face pressed against the fly of Benny’s jeans. He pushed himself up to a sitting position, getting a mouthful of jeans and accidentally rubbing his lips against Benny’s half-chub in the process. Because that was another thing he noticed. Whenever they were in each other’s space, Benny was almost always half-hard. “Don’t you wanna take someone your own age as a date?”

It was Benny’s turn to sigh. He adjusted himself before wrapping an arm around Bowie, and pulling him against his side, practically back onto his lap. “Why would I do that, Bee? Why would I want to take anyone other than my boyfriend to my movie premiere?” He asked in confusion, gently tracing a finger over the curve of his jaw.

Bowie blinked, and looked at him. “I’m your boyfriend?” He frowned at him, but scrambled into his lap anyway. That was another new thing. He’d started sitting on Benny’s lap when they had serious conversations. He didn’t remember why they started talking like this, but he also knew he had Benny’s undivided attention when they spoke like this.

“Well…” Benny looked at him from under his lashes. He looped his arms around Bowie’s waist to keep him from toppling backwards. “I’d like you to be my boyfriend. That’s the direction we’re heading in, isn’t it? We’re practically living together, Bee.”

He blushed. Benny wasn’t wrong… “You wanna be boyfriends?” He asked, eyes dropping to Benny’s lips. “You wanna date me?”

Benny shook his head. “I wanna do more than just date you, baby.” He purred out, leaning closer to him, his lips hovering above Bowie’s. They hadn’t kissed yet, but Bowie knew Benny had been trying to kiss him. It was just that every time Benny tried to kiss him -

“Pumpkin, how’s your geometry homework - oh no you don’t!” Darlene stomped into the trailer, and immediately pulled Bowie off Benny’s lap. She pushed him back towards his desk. “You - finish your homework.” She crossed her arms over her chest. “And you?” She raised her eyebrow at him. “You have your own trailer that’s far away from my charge. Off you go, Mr. Monroe.”

With a dramatic sigh, Benny turned off the TV and pulled himself to his feet. He adjusted himself in his jeans again, not caring that Miss Darlene was right there. “Aw, c’mon Darlene. Doesn’t Bee get a little break?” He tried to sway, even though he had to have known that Miss Darlene didn’t like him at all. “I was just telling him about our date tomorrow night.”

Darlene raised an eyebrow. “Oh, you mean your movie premiere that Bennett will not be attending because he’s not eighteen?” She challenged back.

Bowie shrugged, as though to tell Benny ‘I told you so’ before he opened his notebook back up to work on his homework.

2014

It was one of those days on set. A day where nothing was going right, and the director’s patience was razor thin. Nothing any of the actors did was right. They’d filmed the same scene fifteen times, and he just wasn’t happy. It was exhausting, but thankfully right now he wasn’t the person annoying the director: his husband was. And fuck. Wasn’t that a trip? He was a married man. Sixteen and married. Not that anyone else knew they were married yet. It had just happened last week, and they were keeping it for themselves – at least right now.

“What do you think his problem is?” Mandy whispered to him. They were sprawled out in their makeshift nest in the corner of the soundstage. They’d stolen a couple of exercise mats from the stunt team, and piled them high with soft blankets and pillows. It was where they usually hung out in between scenes but weren’t allowed to go back to their trailers. At some point Mandy had been reading a magazine, and Bowie had been working on an assignment for Psych 101, but now they were both absorbed in whatever the hell was going on in front of the camera.

Bowie couldn’t tear his gaze away from the scene in front of him. The director was now standing in front of Benny and screaming at him. “I have no idea.” He whispered back.

The sound stage door slammed open, causing everyone to startle. Mandy and Bowie locked eyes before they both glanced towards the door in an attempt to figure out who the hell would enter the sound stage when the ‘filming in progress’ sign was up. The director looked furious, but not even he could get any words out before Hurricane Darlene stormed onto set.

Now that he thought about it, he hadn’t seen Darlene for a couple of weeks. His mom said Darlene had a family emergency. It was why she and Dad stayed with him for the week before his sixteenth birthday. Darlene hadn’t even called to wish him a happy birthday. It hurt, but he wasn’t her family, and he’d accepted a long time ago that she wasn’t actually his mom - as much as he liked to pretend she was. He didn’t know how to explain whatever this was.

“You son of a bitch!” Darlene screamed, making a beeline straight towards Benny. “You absolute son of a bitch.” She pushed past the director. “How fucking dare you!” She slapped Benny, the sound echoing through the now silent soundstage. “He is sixteen years old! SIXTEEN.”

What the fuck. This was about him? She was here because of him? He was vaguely aware that he was standing up. Mandy’s hand was wrapped around his, trying to tug him back into their nest. He also sort of thought someone was yelling for security to do something. Everyone was just sort of stuck though. It was Miss Darlene; she’d been with Bowie for eight years. Everyone knew her. She was his caretaker. The person he wished was his mom.

“And you were what? Biding your time until he was an appropriate age to marry him? Arianna has all but been throwing him at you since he was fourteen. You could have married him then if you really wanted. California doesn’t have a minimum age for marriage with consent.” Darlene seethed. “Or you could have waited until he was eighteen, but no. You found out I was getting him away from you. You found out I was fighting his parents for custody, and you couldn’t have that, could you?”

Bowie found himself standing right behind Darlene. “What’s going on?” He whispered out, his voice sounding small. For once he felt his actual age. “Custody?” But she was already on a roll. He wasn’t even sure if she could hear him with how enraged she currently was.

“So you what? Mentioned to Arianna that you’d marry him? Let her know that she could fire me because she didn’t need to worry about Bennett having a guardian any more because you would be his guardian? Be his husband?” She snorted, and it sounded like it hurt. “All because you were afraid your favorite possession would be taken away from him by someone who truly wants what’s best for him?”

“DARLENE.” And it took Bowie a moment to realize that he was the person who’d spoken. That was his shaky voice.

She spun around to face him, and immediately deflated. “Pumpkin…” And she was pulling him into her arms. “I’m so sorry I failed you. I’m so sorry.”

“You missed my birthday.” He whispered out, and it wasn’t what he meant to say, but it was like his mouth wasn’t connected to his brain.

Her arms wrapped tighter around him. “I know, Pumpkin, I didn’t mean to. I wouldn’t have if I was allowed to see you.”

Bowie has no idea what she was talking about. She wasn’t allowed to see him? Why? What the hell were his mom and Benny keeping from him?

“Stop it. Stop it. Stop it!” The words exploded from him, pushing away from her. “Stop talking around me! You’re both doing it!” He waved an accusatory hand towards Benny. “Just tell me what’s going on!”

Security chose that moment to arrive, but Benny held his hand towards them to tell them to not approach quite yet. “Bee, sweetheart…” His husband started, taking Bowie’s hands and pulling him towards him. Mandy was hovering nearby, and he could see her holding back from taking his hand again. He didn’t know what he did to earn a best friend like her. “I know how much you care about Darlene, but your mom and I filed a restraining order against her a couple weeks ago.”

Darlene was saying something, but all Bowie could focus on was his husband in front of him, and his best friend hovering, waiting to whisk him away from any stress. “What?” He blinked, swaying towards him. “Why?”

Benny gave him a sad smile. “She’s mentally unwell, baby. She had it in her head that she’s your mother.” He told him, pulling him closer. “Like biologically. And we know that’s physically impossible. She’s just another obsessed fan. Like that girl in Colorado who was stalking us.”

“I am his mother!”

And it was too much. Too much. He found himself pulling away from Benny, and turning towards Mandy instead. “I can’t…” He told her, sounding helpless.

There was chaos behind him - security taking Darlene away and there was screaming, and he let Mandy pull him away, Benny close behind him.

Now

Bowie forgot what it was like filming for eighteen hours. It’d been eight years since the last time he was behind a camera, and all he wanted to do was lay down for like a year. He opened his trailer door, and immediately closed it. Frowning he looked over at the sign, and sighed when he saw the name. It said Bowie Washington which meant…

He slammed the door open. “Nope, nope, nope. Get out.” He told his ex-husband as he entered his own damn trailer. “We are not doing this tonight. You are leaving, and I’m sleeping for the next thirty minutes until they pull me back on set.” Used to Benny’s antics by this point, he ignored him, and instead started taking off the heavy ass necklaces they still had him wearing.

“Aw, c’mon, Bee. It’s like old times again. Let’s just watch something, and veg out. You can never fall asleep on set anyway.” Benny all but whined.

Bowie spun around to face him. “I told you if I was going to do the reboot, you couldn’t pull this shit again, and here you are. Trying to act like we’re still together. We’re not. It’s been six years.” He hissed out. “What do you really want?”

The older man sighed. “Okay, Benny, you got me.” He ran a hand through his hair. “Come sit.”

Bowie collapsed next to him, doing his best to keep as much distance between himself and his ex as possible. “Spill, Benny.”

And that felt natural. As much as he hated Benny, being his friend had always been natural. If they ever were friends to begin with.

“I talked to Franklin today.” He said, referring to the show runner, which meant it couldn’t be anything good. “And he didn’t think our good will tour after the sex tape came out was enough. He thinks we need to… give a hint of reconciliation.”

His eyes closed. “He wants us to be seen out and about together more. He wants me to start going to premieres with you again.” He surmised.

“And social media. The drama works in the favor of the show this time around.”

Bowie groaned and just let himself sink into the couch. He did not want to deal with this. Not now. Not ever.

The trailer door swung open and Mandy walked in, took in the sight and threw herself down onto the couch between them. “Oh good. You told him about Passover.”

Benny groaned, and Bowie jerked upright. “What about Passover?” He asked warily.

“We have a long weekend, and Mandy and I don’t have enough time between filming to fly home before restrictions hit.” Benny started. “So we’re both coming home with you.”

And Benny was on his feet. “Nope. Nope. Nope. Not happening.” He spun around to face them both. “Mandy, obviously, you’re welcome, but you…” He wagged his finger at Benny. “Darlene, you know Darlene. The woman you got fired, and had a restraining order against when she tried to fight my parents for custody as my biological mother who gave up her rights to me? Yeah, she lives with me.” He stared the older man down. “And no. We haven’t talked about that day or about who she is to me, but she looks after Livvie, and will be looking after the twins when they’re born. But you are not welcome in our home.”

Mandy sighed, and grabbed at Bowie’s hands, pulling him back down onto the couch with them. “But it’s Passover. Isn’t having annoying family members over for any holiday a Jewish right of passage?” She tried.

“You don’t have anywhere else to go, do you?”

Benny’s silence was telling.

He sighed. “Fine. Let’s bring my ex-husband home for Passover. What’s the worst that could happen?”

#queen city rpg #drabble #death after life

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alluringjae · 3 years

Text

au cours de l’été - jjh

⤑ translation: over the summer

⤑ summary: this is a story of an exhausted painter who needed a breather from the hectic city life. so aside from moving to the countryside, the needed air in your lungs also came in the form of a person. this summer meant for pure relaxation, perhaps your heart may dive into him too.

⤑ pairing: jaehyun x female reader

⤑ word count: 15.2k (so much for saying that i’ll be writing shorter stories)

⤑ genre: fluff, romance, smut | author!jaehyun, painter!reader, strangers to lovers!au, 50s-60s!au, summer love in france!au

⤑ warnings: me inserting some french phrases because I want to practice (feel free to correct me if I made mistakes, i’ll appreciate them), fictional interpretations of real-life people, explicit language, jaehyun being such a romantic pls im in tears, mentions and scenes of burnout (the worst)

⤑ author’s note: this was an idea that just came to me after pinterest kept recommending me poetic beauty/try again jaehyun, so here we are! i intended to write less than 5k words but sometimes plans don’t go as planned once you really invest in the story yet i’m really happy how this turned out!

the romantic exhilaration in my bones are off the charts because this is jaehyun we’re talking about lol enjoy!

⤑ masterlist

⤑ leave me some feedback, constructive criticism, or hellos!

3 juin 1957

The city life overstimulated your entire system, losing your brainpower and inspiration. Another exhibition that’ll feature your works with other influential painters was happening at the end of the year, and you had nothing prepared so far. You’ve crashed to the deep end of creative fatigue.

So you needed to get away again; somewhere quieter and surrounded by nature.

That’s why you ended up in the countryside down south, somewhere within Provence. It’s purely just for the summer, but extensions were okay as long you get back at least a month before the show. Filing that leave of absence at the studio you worked at was worth it.

You rented an apartment overlooking the marketplace, where the heart of the village was. After arranging things from your boxes and luggage the entire day, you found out that you lacked in the food department.

So the succeeding day, the entire morning was spent on grocery shopping downstairs then stocking them inside your refrigerator, freezer, and pantry. Right after changing out of your pajamas into a flowy floral dress and sandals, you decided to bike to the bakery that locals suggested. A must-go place for newcomers, they all raved.

“Café des Étoiles Perdues.” (Café of Lost Stars.)

The clear chimes of the bell resounded through the small, cottage-like lobby as you entered inside. An old woman, whom you assumed was the owner, welcomed you openly.

“Oh la la, vous êtes belle! Vous vous appelez (Y/N), la nouvelle venue, n'est-ce pas?” (Oh la la, you’re beautiful. Your name is (Y/N), the newcomer, right?)

She complimented, making you shyly mutter your answer. Wiping off the flour from her apron, she introduced herself kindly.

“Je m’appelle Camille. Mes spécialités sont les macarons pisctaches et des croissants avec des amandes. Autre chose que tu aimes?” (I’m Camille. My specialties are the pistachio macarons and croissants with almonds. Is there anything else you like?)

“J'aime tout ce que vous suggères, Madame.” (I’d like anything that you suggest, Madame.)

A younger man, who went by Jaemin, was a part-timer barista who asked for your coffee order. As he directed you to the best seat of the café, which was outside overlooking the garden of blooming sunflowers, you pulled out your sketch pad so you could capture this dreamy view. It was nothing like you’ve ever seen in your life.

You’ve decided on a theme already for your exhibit thanks to your conversations with locals yesterday, which was related to freedom. After being chained to cities for so-called better living and financial standards, it’s actually how your inspiration to create squeezed the life out of you like a lemon. Although it was fun at first to see those tourist spots, it eventually got tiring.

Another matchstick to graze intensity through your bones was what you prayed for.

While you’re engaged in a rough sketch of the scenery, the dandy presence of a young man entered the café with his books. White shirt, red trousers with a matching beret, he sported freckles on his pale face. Despite visiting his favorite café numerously, Camille was overjoyed to see him and his serene smiles.

“Jaehyun! What brings you here?”

“Bonjour, Madame! I’m starving for your croissants because I ran out back home.”

“Not to worry! I’ll pack up some so you’re on your way.” She lightened him up like one of her kids, taking one of the bigger paper bags.

“No rush though, Madame. I’ll be reading and working here for a bit here.” Jaehyun affirmed, bringing it out his wallet and called out for Jaemin.

“Un café crème, s’il vous plait.” (One cup of cappuccino, please.)

Jaehyun’s usual chair was by the large window, overseeing the wide garden planted by the citizens of the village way before he was born. It was places like this he missed after moving to the city for his education and work’s sake.

That’s the thing when you’re coming from a rich family; you don’t have much of say with what your parents order you to do. However, his recent request to stay in his childhood home (or mansion) again was fulfilled because he couldn’t search for what he needed in the cities anymore.

Jaehyun was a sucker for romance; an old romantic others would say. A lot of women mistook his kindness as flirting on many occasions, but ironically he just wasn’t looking for anyone yet.

Starting as a novelist in the said genre based on real-life stories of people he met in Paris, Barcelona, London, and more, his stories were popular hits especially to young adults who aspire to find love one day.

However, traveling to the known places no longer felt fun as he got older. The stories he gathered were very similar, just in different languages. It took an enthusiastic dinner with his family, specifically his only older sister Krystal retelling fond stories from their younger years to get the idea of moving back for a bit. So consumed with the city life, he wanted to see things from another perspective.

What was the difference between a love story formed in the countryside than in the city?

It’s been a month since he arrived, but he didn’t hurry himself to do his research. He’s been reading books in his family library, revisiting monumental places, exploring around the village, and reconnecting with old friends as if he never left.

Readjusting to his former life would make writing easier when he’s motivated enough to do it again. Besides, his books were profiting well enough to his taste; good enough for the next 10 years according to his personal accountant, Kim Jungwoo.

Jaehyun resumed reading this book his mother recommended him before he left. Entitled “Réessaye”, which was about a young man who reunites with his childhood sweetheart after his arranged marriage failed. After what she put her through, he’s hesitant whether to try again or let her go.

Jaehyun enjoyed reading books with realistic outlooks on love because he found them more meaningful, enlightening how exactly it makes you feel and do. Even if he enjoyed reading sappy, fairytale-like stories from time to time, he always returned to the real ones as they only displayed the truth.

That love isn’t always rainbows and sunshine, but something that can also break you especially if you go after the wrong person. This kind of mindset was how he toiled on his stories, which gained him a status outside of his unavoidable labels such as “the only striking son of the Jeong family” or “Valentine Boy”.

He diligently browsed through the climax, where the main male character confessed all his constrained emotions to his sweetheart. But it was until Jaemin pressed the bag of croissants in front of his face after placing down his childhood friend’s drink to disturb his peace.

“Reading again?” He taunted, snatching his book away and throwing the bag on Jaehyun’s lap. “When are you writing that book already? Everyone is practically dying for you to release something new again!”

Jaehyun flatly shook his head, drinking his coffee quietly. It’s not the first time anyone asked (or pressured) him about his next release, and it’s the last thing he wanted to think about. “Not in the mood right now, Jaemin. Now off to work before Madame Camille scolds you again.”

“You’re just stalling because you have nothing to write, don’t you?” Jaemin cunningly expressed, raising a brow. He’s known to catch onto the people’s bs easily; the last person you’d want to say your secrets too and Jaehyun realized too late. Though lucky for him, Jaemin shut the topic down right away so he wouldn’t pop a vein.

“Sais-tu de la nouvelle venue dans le village, d'ailleurs?” (Do you know about the newcomer in the village, by the way?)

“Une nouvelle venue?” (A newcomer?)

Being stuck at his mansion recently, news about village affairs were now late to him. Jaemin’s finger discreetly pointed outside the window, pertaining to a young woman sat outside painting her view in front of her.

That would be you, shading all the flowers in bright colors.

Seeing a new face amazed Jaehyun, especially when she was almost someone right out of a book. In a neat bun with white daisies printed in her dress, she crossed her legs whilst continuing her movements. She bit her lower lip, frustrated over an accidental smudge she made and trying to fix it by blending it with another color. When she accomplished it, she swapped brushes. A thinner one, to outline the shapes of the flower. Her lips curved to a smile after finishing another one perfectly with the rest.

“Jaehyun?”

Jaemin snapped his fingers to his distracted friend, zoning out the window. Still something he hasn’t stop doing, he pondered. With a final snap, Jaehyun broke away from falling hard from his abstract. Jaemin calculated the problem so quickly, analyzing his friend breezily like his medical school requirements.

“Elle est splendide, n'est-ce pas?” (She’s gorgeous, right?)

“Elle ressemble à une personne décente.” (She looks like a decent person.)

Jaehyun pushed it aside, flipping back to the page where he stopped reading. Before Jaemin responded, the door chimed open again to alarm him that a new customer came in. He excused himself to his friend, warning him that this wasn’t the last time he’ll talk about the newcomer too.

Jaehyun nodded along, not taking his friend’s cheeky words so seriously. However, the final result you attempted to create tickled his curiosity, so he slyly peeked from his book to the window.

You’ve freed your hair down, victorious to have started your collection this early in your break. A fantastic start, you let the paint dry first and munch on the croissant that served as your reward. However, you ‘re quick to notice a manly figure glancing through the window. From the side, his brown eyes appeared lively even if his entire face was hidden by the book.

Réessaye by Mark Lee; he must be a romantic. Every person in your studio read it, excluding yourself. Painfully beautiful, they’d summarize it.

Daring to meet more people, you locked eye contact with him. He didn’t expect it, almost flipping from his chair. Bashfully, you waved him a hello to somewhat break the ice. However, it broke his composure, and suddenly, he scurried off with his things from the café.

Now, you got quite worried. You checked your tiny mirror if he saw anything unpleasant with you, but you’d say you look relatively fine. Oh, maybe you could redeem yourself the next time you saw him. After bidding goodbye to Camille and Jaemin, the latter chased after you when you prepared yourself on your bike.

“By any chance, did you say hi to a guy with brown eyes and a red beret?”

“Well, more like I waved at him, then he zoomed out. Did I do something wrong?” You questioned with concern, putting your hands on the handles.

“That’s my friend, who’s quite reserved with strangers. I’m sorry on his behalf.”

“Nah, it’s fine.” You brushed it off politely. “See you again soon, Jaemin!”

Peddling away, letting the cool breeze fan you, your mind reverted its thoughts to that strange man. Maybe you’ll give it some time; you had a lot of it.

“Shucks, he was pretty cute.”

12 juin 1957

The world must really be on your side with these good decisions because you crossed paths with the strange man again in the café a week later. But instead of running away, he asked nicely if he could sit across your free chair in front of your table outside. It was a Saturday, and the place was packed.

“Joignez-moi, s’il vous plait.” (Join me, please.)

You insisted, giving yourself time to subtly observe his physique a lot more. Freckles dotted under his eyes like a constellation, bushy eyebrows, pink cheeks to match his pale complexion, and wearing a fuzzy knit sweater that meshed well with his green beret. He had some sort of necklace too; there was a heart pendant.

“Vous êtes une artiste.” (You’re an artist.) The small wooden palette of paint beside your small sketch pad was exposed, finding it as a great icebreaker.

“Une peintre, spécifiquement. Franchement, les visuels ici sont trés captivants qu'à Paris.” (A painter, to be specific. Frankly, the visuals here are more captivating than in Paris.)

“Je suis d’accord,” (I agree,) Jaehyun leaned against his chair, taking a better look at you with the remaining light from the descending sun.

“Oh, vous êtes comme moi. J’habite à Paris aussi.” (Oh, you’re like me. I live in Paris too.)

“Bon, je suis née à Londres. Puis, j’ai déménagé où je voulais en Europe depuis j'avais 18 ans. Mais oui, j’habite définitivement à Paris maintenant.” (Well, I was born in London then moved wherever I wanted in Europe for inspiration since I was 18. But yes, I live permanently in Paris now.)

You clarified, beginning to enjoy his comforting company. Initiating conversations with people you’re not acquainted with wasn’t in your range of skills, though he didn’t have an intimidating vibe. He looked too youthful to act like that.

“Je m’appelle (Y/N), d'ailleurs.” (I’m (Y/N), by the way.) You stuck out your hand as a sign of respect, which he enthusiastically obliged.

“Salut, (Y/N). Je m’appelle Jaehyun.” [Hi, (Y/N). I’m Jaehyun.]

He kissed it in a gentleman fashion, applying the manners he’s been taught since he was a child. Should you have been flustered, but no. It’s been a long time since anyone greeted you like that, specifically back home.

Throughout your talk, you learned more about who he was, his job, and what his life in the countryside is like. He was an author of romance novels, yet you’ve never heard about him prior. Heavily prioritizing your work, you don’t keep up with the new releases or trends at all. Though after mentioning his last name, it piqued your interest.

“Jeong? As in the business, Jeong Tea Inc.?”

“Correct.”

His family was one of the most affluent families in Parisian society. Old money immigrants from South Korea, they brought their tea business to France and it boomed successfully. You’re quite sure you’ve seen his parents in past exhibits, but never did you approach them because you were a rookie then. But he reassured you that it was fine, and to just treat him like you’d treat your friends. Plus, it came to your knowledge that he was the same age as you too.

He opened up how this village was where he lived his childhood, so he asked his parents if he could hand over their mansion for a while for rest. It then shocked both of you at how identical your reasons were for staying in the countryside.

“I’m burnt out from the city, so I’m trying to regain my spirit here hopefully. Besides, I needed a change of scenery after living there for 3 years. My longest stay yet outside of London!”

“I need new ideas for my books. The cities don’t charm me anymore, so I returned here for peace and quiet. Maybe let these ideas come to me rather than me going after them.”

From a bigger lens, people would conclude your interaction as a sight of two artists who passionately talk about their art. But to you, you’d interpret it as two relaxed, young adults in their twenties who simply wanted to run away from the pressures of their art and enjoy the summer as every young adult should.

Not cooped up in the studio or office, but innocently waltzing around with your youth while it’s still there.

début de juillet 1957

“Dépêche-toi, (Y/N)!” [Hurry up, (Y/N)!]

Jaehyun yelled at your open balcony from downstairs, parking his mini car beside your bike. He planned on taking you somewhere a little farther this time; to absolutely feel like one of the locals.

The countryside urged you to wear more dresses and flat shoes, so you took out a turquoise dress with a white scarf to wrap on top of your head. Like your relaxed fit, your mindset too was calm. Upon meeting him, he wore his round spectacles with a red knit sweater over a white turtleneck long-sleeved top. His fingers were adorned with silver rings, then around his neck was a thin black ribbon. He curled some of his hair again, a style you really liked of his.

You can’t lie, but this man could pull any trend or style and still look extra pretty.

Out of all the locals you’ve befriended in your stay, Jaehyun was always your companion. He took you to varying places that those locals don’t visit nor tourists acknowledge in their reviews for the past few weeks. For someone who hasn’t been in the village for a long time, his memory didn’t disappoint. His childhood was only filled with cheerful moments.

Today, he was taking you to a peaceful district of shops in the farther part of the village. It’s where he’d buy sweets, journals, and accessories with his mother, Krystal, and one of his housemaids every other weekend.

All the stores there were currently bombarded with blooming flowers along their alley, bringing more enticement to those who were roaming around. There was so much life here; the head waiter of one restaurant smiling at every passing customer, one florist handing a free flower to anyone who asks, and a young lady showcasing her jewelry collection to a bunch of women who looked like tourists.

“Cette librairie vendent des livres enveloppés dans du papier. Ma mère m'a offerte l'un d'eux pour mon anniversaire tous les ans comme une surprise.” (This bookstore sells books wrapped in paper. My mother gifted me one of them on my birthday every year as a surprise.)

He trained his attention at a rustic shop with open wooden windows giving a glimpse of their shelves.

“Avez-vous fini les lisant?” (Have you finished reading them?)

“Du début à la fin.” (From cover to cover.)

He took you to this rooftop restaurant overlooking the entire plaza. Since he didn’t arrange a reservation yet didn’t get rejected, he must know the owner. Especially how a lot of the staff gave casual hellos and high fives.

Speaking of the owner, he walked out of his kitchen to introduce himself to you. He went by the name Moon Taeil, another one of Jaehyun’s childhood friends whom he used to play at his house whenever his parents came along.

Gobbling up in the appetizing food Taeil prepared beforehand, Jaehyun brought up your painting exhibition again. He loved hearing artists talk about their works, wanting to know more about their driven mindset and what their imagination is like. After all, it does vary for everyone.

“So far,” You poked your fork through the chicken, taking a bite of it. “I’ve produced 3 paintings. The garden of flowers outside Café des Étoiles Perdues, the kids playing hopscotch in the alley, and the peach tree outside your house.”

“Woah, you’re on a roll.” Jaehyun clapped across you, pouring you another glass of water. He recalled the nights you ranted not having any clue what to do for the exhibit. Then after taking you to more places, he’s rewarded to see you be creatively active again. “How many artworks do you left to make?”

“Around 3-4 left. I have ideas already, but I’m still brainstorming.” You internally rejoiced, loving how much progress you’ve made. “How about you, Jaehyun? How’s your progress?”

Unlike you, Jaehyun still felt stuck. Although he did find couples around the village, none of them intrigued him as much as his past stories. But he won’t give up easily; that’s not in his work ethic.

“Still searching, but I’ll get there.”

Recently, you got ahold of some of Jaehyun’s books from him personally since they weren’t sold in the village. You wanted to understand how he became so well known outside the labels people put him under. Reading his first novel entitled “Des Papillons” (Butterflies), it was about a couple separated during World War II without contact or knowledge about their well-being. Yet whenever they saw butterflies on the day they parted, they took it as a sign that the other was alive wherever they were.

You’re always hanging on the cliff when the scenes revert back and forth to the main male lead getting stuck in intense war scenarios, rooting for him to get out alive each time. In the end, it took 7 years before they were reunited and wed.

Jaehyun had a wonderful way with his words and descriptions, managing to enwrap you in as if you’re also a character in the book. Like how you rooted for that male lead, you’re rooting for him to find his spark again.

Following this uplifting conversation, Jaehyun finally took to your greatly anticipated spot. It was the main viewpoint of Gordes, one of the most beautiful hilltop villages in the country. The sunset was about to hit, and the lights from the city across you slowly turned on like a bunch of dominos.

As you marveled at its aesthetics, Jaehyun leaned against the hood of his car. He sensed how in awe you were, more than you ever were in the city he assumed. So used to the city that being surrounded with nature became foreign to you.

He took out his polaroid camera from his trunk and captured a photo of you from behind. The shutter sounds were obvious, turning your back at the commotion. Jaehyun fanned the freshly printed photo to dry, giving a mischievous smile.

“What can I say? While you’re fawning over the view, mine was more enamoring.”

Although Jaehyun felt overwhelmed the first time he locked eyes with you, he can’t resist the power of his developing feelings for you. The more time he took you around, the more his heart found different details about you to admire. After listening to all those love stories in the past, the people he spoke to shared how there will be some distinct moment where your heart decides who they’re longing for.

That exact view of you by the cliff, he already knew.

He’s infatuated by you.

“Tu es très ringard, Jaehyun.” (You’re so cheesy, Jaehyun.) You scoffed sassily, with a hand on your waist.

“Un gentleman ne ment jamais, (Y/N). Allez, il fait nuit maintenant.” [A gentleman never lies, (Y/N). Come on, it’s night already.]

He cleverly responded, grabbing his car keys from his pocket. The trip back to the village was energizing, putting down the roof of his car to relish the chill breeze of the night weather. You even raised your arms in the air, losing your scarf even from the speed Jaehyun went at!

The two of you belted along to the songs on the radio when the fields were the only ones surrounding you, no neighbors to shout at your rambunctiousness.

The late-night hours drew by so quickly almost like dinner with more of Jaehyun’s friends didn’t happen. Arriving at the front doors of your apartment complex, Jaehyun raced over to your side to open your door. Always maintained proper observation of manners, you appreciated that side of him. Rarely anyone in Paris that you’ve encountered treated you that way because you were a foreigner.

“Bonsoir, (Y/N).” [Goodnight, (Y/N).]

“Bonsoir, Jaehyun. Quand est-ce que je te revois?” (Goodnight, Jaehyun. When can I see you again?)

“Demain et après-demain. Appelle-moi quand tu es libre.” (Tomorrow, and the day after that. Just give me a call when you’re free.)

With a short wave, you entered your building and marched up to the stairs. A good day only meant being tired to the core, ready to crash and fall in your soft bed. Opening your wide windows to let more of the cool breeze in, your eyes easily caught Jaehyun’s classy car still there. As for the owner, he didn’t move an inch from his leaning position.

“Rentre à la maison, Jaehyun! C’est tard!” (Go home, Jaehyun! It’s late!) You shrieked, peeking side to side to make sure none of the neighbors scold you.

Jaehyun laughed wholeheartedly, not budging at all. “La nuit ne fait que commencer, ma chérie.” (The night has just begun, my darling.)

“Comment tu m'as appelé?” (What did you call me?)

Either your ears were fooling you or he addressed you by a divine pet name. The gasp you swallowed, as your entire body tingled with exhilaration. Your mind would simply disregard it like his former teasing words, but your heart begged to differ.

Rather than responding with words, Jaehyun’s voice serenaded you with a wondrous song, C’est Si Bon by Eartha Kitt, that played on the radio earlier. Out of the blue, a random guitar accompaniment followed his baritone vocals.

“En voyant notre mine ravie,”

Against the railing of your wired balcony, your body shifted forward to watch him better.

“Les passants dans la rue, nous envient,”

Your hand perched on your cheek, admiring his talent.

“C'est si bon de guetter dans ses yeux,”

It was like a lullaby, and here you were drowning in its peacefulness. Sensing the passion he gives off in his singing, your heart couldn’t refrain the strings inside from being swayed and tugged.

This was your moment of realization: that you too were smitten.

“Un espoir merveilleux, qui donne le frisson…”

À la mi-juillet de 1957

“Hello, nature!” You greeted brightly as your legs raced the huge garden in his manor. It was the first time he invited you over, too lazy to go out of the city. His social battery needed a recharge for the weekend, so a picnic within his home would do the trick. Additionally, it was an excuse to bring you over after the numerous times you’ve begged him to.

Jaehyun merely shook his head, enjoying the rush of childlike fun in your veins while you squealed and grazed your hands through the flowers.

He carried a wooden basket full of treats his family maids cooked, taking his time to venture through the rows of flowers. They were growing healthily and phenomenally these days, sometimes riding his bike to personally water them since he became busy with writing again. Lately, he found inspiration again, and so he wrote day and night to set them free.

“Voila!” You yanked out a sunflower, sniffing it a little. “Come on, Jaehyun! Pick up a few for our lunch!”

He followed your order, picking out some he found ideal. But just for fun, he put down the basket and carried you from behind out of the blue. You tried kicking him away, but his muscular arms can’t compete with your soft ones.

“What are you doing?”

“You said to pick up a flower, so I did. The prettiest of them all.”

His flirtatious words were never serious, yet you took it as a compliment. That’s how high your confidence is. Only we define our own worth, not others. The two of you chatted more about your lives until the first rain of the season poured down, chilling down from the raging heat. None of you had an umbrella; the weather was too unpredictable.

Deciding to just run for it, he gave you the wooden basket to protect yourself whilst he used the blanket you’ve sat on. Running with laughter to return to his mansion in the muddy dirt, the cool drops shivered your figure yet felt fantastic.

If you were in the city, you’d panic because it’d mess your appearance and your boss would be infuriated by your unprofessionalism. But in the countryside, it didn’t matter at all. The condition of the rain wasn’t budging to improve, getting stronger by the minute. His entire house even lost power, his housemaids having to bring candles to his bedroom and your assigned one once night dawned.

It was hopeless to return home for you, plus it’s dangerous to drive in in the dark, narrow streets too. Jaehyun handed you some of his fresh clothes so you’d be free from flinching from cold dress sticking to your body.

“Get dressed and some sleep, (Y/N).”

Nodding, you excused yourself to find the bathroom. You’d assume it’d be easy, but this was your first time in his house; a mansion even. Doors from left to right, long corridors that seemed never-ending, no maids were within the vicinity whom you can ask for guidance.

Resorting to return to Jaehyun’s chamber for help, you were taken aback by what your eyes laid on. In front of his full mirror, he discarded his now-dried shirt. Even with the dim lighting, you could make out that he was fit by the transparent view of his abdomen. Peeping like this was wrong, yet you couldn’t turn away just yet. The heat in your cheeks was inevitable, finding composure in such an unholy sight.

Though a gear in you suddenly twisted; a gear that straightened your nerves. You’re taking a bold move on the chessboard of your feelings. Wholly opening his bedroom door again, you leisurely sauntered inside without warning.

“Oh, (Y/N)! Ne peux pas trouver la salle de bain?” (Oh, (Y/N)! Can’t find the bathroom?)

Unbothered as he stood shirtless, you on the other hand silently dropped his clothes on the floor. Holding intense eye contact, your fingers graciously unzipped the side of your dress. Inch by inch, the tension built up like the strong tiny flames lit on the candles around you two. Joining the pile of clothes, all that remained were your white lace undergarments. Unplanned for the get-go, it’s the ideal set for your earlier outfit at the picnic.

“Je me suis perdue, mais je pense avoir trouvé quelque chose de mieux.” (I got lost, but I think I found something better.)

Your fingers grazed your arm up to your collarbones, faking your naivety. From your lust-filled stare, the glint in Jaehyun’s eyes darkened. He gulped at the revealing sight of you, brushing his hair back to restrain himself.

None of you could utter a single word, only the vivacious rain being the only sounds ringing around you. Thus, you allowed your actions to pursue precisely what you desired to do.

Taking baby steps towards him to test the waters, he met you right in the center and closed the leftover space. His hands cradled your face, whilst yours clung to his chest. His lips tasted like red wine, watching him pour in a glass for himself earlier. He did offer, yet you declined.

Your tongue darted his lower lip, gaining access after. Sensing the edge of his bed, you plopped yourself down the cushion. His knee urged your legs to widen, letting his body slide in. From your face, his fingers lowered to the back of your bra, snapping the clasps open.

“It takes skill to accomplish that in one try, Jaehyun.”

“I lived in Paris too, ma chérie. You out of all people would understand and have the experience.”

His palms massaged your freed breasts, throwing your head back even more to his pillows as his lips ravaged down from your stomach until the fabric of your not-so pure panties.

“Call me that again, please.”

“Ma chérie, seras-tu mienne?” (My darling, will you be mine?) He kissed and licked the tiny ribbon in front repeatedly, where your now-swollen clit laid. It electrified your bones, pulling on to his ruffled hair.

“Tu peux m'avoir.” (You can have me.)

Sex in the form of one-night stands were all you’ve invested; upcoming artists like you weren’t capable to maintain long-term relationships. Les plans à trois even if you’re extra freaky or drunk from the afterparties of your events. All that these occurrences had in common were not seeing those men ever again after sneaking out of their apartments in the morning.

This time, it’s different.

When they said that doing the deed with someone you’re romantically entangled with was more special, they didn’t bluff. You could plan bits of your life, but it can sometimes change aspects of it when you least expect it. Sometimes for the best or the worst, but right now, it went beyond your expectations.

It’s rewarding that the man you’ve slowly fallen for within your stay returned your affections.

Around late 3 am that night, your brain jolted with artistic ideas that awoken your sonorous rest. There are no hopes of sleeping them off because they tend to bother you for hours until you do something about it. But you’re already so cozy having Jaehyun’s arms around you, skin to skin under the duvet. His lips daunted right above your forehead, recalling his endless kisses there that helped you fall asleep.

Well, these ideas don’t work themselves unless you do. Untangling him tactfully, you stepped out of the blanket and wore one of his long white shirts he gave you earlier before pulling out your sketchpad and palette of oil paints.

Luckily, there was still one available candle to use as the rest have melted indefinitely. You slid the matchstick again to the sand surface, boring a flame from the friction which you placed on top of the wick.

All your ideas that night leaned towards one thing, or person rather: Jaehyun.

You spent a few minutes retracing how he vividly looked at the picnic, leaning back from the chair of his work desk. His outfit of a turquoise turtleneck underneath a white button-top with trousers matching the said turtleneck looked good together, how his ears tingled red after you complimented his newfound inspiration for his book, and the prominent veins in his arms when he rolled his sleeves due to the heat.

The thin brush you held defined the shape of his face, then paying attention to the messy strands of his hair. Stroking in a circular way to outline his eyelids, a hoarse grunt disturbed the peaceful silence.

“Get back in bed, ma chérie.” His eyes drowsily opened, lying on his side. The moment he no longer felt your warmth, he worried something happened. Instead, you’re working late at night after quite a rough yet romantic night.

“Shush,” You shunned him down with your index finger. “Give me a few more minutes.”

“Perhaps, are you painting me?” He hunched from the covers. “Your eyes looking back and forth would never lie to me, would they?”

“Maybe…” You teased, batting your eyes at him without any risky intentions. Or not?

He deeply chuckled, sluggishly removing himself under the covers. In his pure nudity, he advanced himself towards you. You shrieked, covering yourself with your free hand.

“Jaehyun, stay back! I told you I’ll be there soon!”

Not listening, he carried your bridal style, making you drop your precious palette to the fur rug. Laying you carefully, he popped each button open. By the sight of his cock hardening again, you knew you were in for another round with him.

“Wet again, ma chérie? Oh, this will be fun.”

Fin de juillet 1957

So this kind of summer romance concept that everyone fantasized about… it became your present.

Together you’d stroll in the smaller streets and immerse yourselves in the unique culture of the village. Whenever anyone saw you together, holding hands, biking, or what-not, they’d praise in the name of love for bringing you both together. A romance like yours in the countryside was a lively sight.

Remember how extensions were a possibility if your search for inspiration wasn’t found? Well, it’s not a question that you’d make one, except inspiration found you instead. And he had one arm around you as he slow danced with you in the open grounds of the village, listening to the live band covering song classics.

In particular, Chet Baker. He was Jaehyun’s favorite artist at the moment.

There was an ongoing week-long festival dedicated to summer, giving more plants their bloom and spreading gratitude to the hardworking people. Especially the students, off on their break.

The faint radiance from the post lights as Jaehyun swayed you around, making you laugh as he tried to mumble the lyrics of the song. All those glasses of wine he tried earlier with you from the bartender offering it for free had its effects, and you weren’t off the hook from them either.

Blisters started to form from your ankles, adjusting to the new pair of heels Jaehyun gave (or insisted to buy) you a while ago after staring at them like lasers. You’ve always provided things for yourself that being spoiled by someone else felt weird to you.

“If there’s anything you want me to buy for you, just tell me.”

“How can I buy you if you’re already mine?”

His smooth talk often made you punch his shoulder, but it’s just a mechanism to hide the exhilaration.

Under each other’s spells in your dance, you laid your head on Jaehyun’s chest. Feeling the strong beat of his heart, you were reminded of how much life he’s filled with. And you became a part of it, in the same way he crossed yours.

Jaehyun’s lips sank to the top of your head, pecking it affectionately. The first-ever summer where he wasn’t stuck at his desk working or drinking his life away with his rich friends in their Parisian homes, it couldn’t get better than this.

“Oiii! Flirtez ailleurs!” (Oiii! Flirt somewhere else!) The distinct voice of Jaemin, handing out pastries to passersby, shouted at the both of you, making you flip your middle finger at him.

“Trouve une copine d’abord, d’accord?!” (Find a girlfriend first, alright?!) You shouted back jokingly, almost falling due to the ache of your feet. Your immodest behavior was censored by Jaehyun’s large palms, not wanting the kids around to see it. Whispering closely to your ear,

“Tu es ivre. Laisse-moi te ramener chez toi.” (You’re drunk. Let me take you home.)

You changed back into your sandals as Jaehyun led you through the different alleys. Your vision was too hazy to navigate, so he had one arm wrapped around your shoulders. The weather grew cold too, shivering your bones so he draped you in his blazer.

“Wait,” You stopped, making him do the same. But before he could ask for your reason, your hands yanked him by his suspenders and your legs walked backward to reach the brick wall. Standing in his 5’11 glory, you were overpowered.

Yet your lips captured his effortlessly, raising to your toes to press yourself closer to him. He moved fast, one arm hugging your waist while the other hoisted your leg up. Tangling around his waist, the urge to move your hips against his crotch couldn’t be contained any longer.

Everyone was probably still out at this time or sleeping. The sloppy sounds you’ve produced were beyond suitable for any audience. Not to mention, the nasty words Jaehyun’s pretty mouth spoke in your ears desired you to fall to your knees.

“Not afraid of getting caught, ma chérie? You want me to ruin you right here, right now?”

“God, Jaehyun,” Your hands tugged his belt forward, the friction it gave to your core twitched the naughty side out of you. “Do it, please.”

The idea of public sex thrilled your mind into overdrive, yet you’ve never done it. In Paris, a city where several people started to know your name, you didn’t need a scandal to be plastered in your resume yet.

Jaehyun himself included, and still opted not to give it to you.

“Another time, ma chérie. Your apartment, now.”

The moment you unlocked your apartment door, Jaehyun was far from gentle like in the mansion. Ripping you out of your frilly dress didn’t take long, so was unbuttoning his trousers down to the floor.

On your knees, his hand gave you a makeshift ponytail as your tongue flicked the slit of his cock. Then slowly taking him inch by inch on your mouth, you’d let out a loud pop when you needed to breathe. Your hands fondling his balls, he groaned from the edge of your bed and tightened his hold on you. Tears formulated in your eyes as you got to swallow him whole, uncontrollably bobbing your head.

He felt like putty when he released, your throat taking the salty base. You hastily unhooked your bra in front of him when suddenly, his hand flicked on the fabric of your panties, cueing you to stop your motion.

“Keep them on when you ride me.”

Straddling on his lap, his head laid against the headboard of his bed. His arms roaming around your back to stabilize you, your fingers pushed your panties to the side as you pushed yourself down his protected length. Your moans became shaky. Up and down, you bounced while bracing on his shoulders.

Against his ear, your moans were harmonious. His hips moved against your beat, hitting your g-spot like the sexual ace he is. His thumb rubbing your clit, you shuttered your eyes at the impending high approaching you like a bus.

“I’m close.” You choked out, the overstimulation overwhelming your nerves.

“Fuck, me too.” He grunted, slapping your butt that made you shriek.

Soon enough, everything hit you both all at once. The knot snapped, and so did your body falling on his chest after a single scream. Panting, Jaehyun pecked on your temple as his cock softened up. Once you returned to your senses, you lifted yourself from his length, laying bare beside him.

His eyes started to fall, but before they did, he muttered huskily. “Je t’aime, (Y/N).”

It was the first time he’s said those words in the way they meant, and he’s more than certain that it’s what he felt with you. Sure, it started as mutual infatuation, but now, it can’t leave. Not on his watch.

Love was a concept unfamiliar to you, but Jaehyun slowly taught you what it was and how it felt like. Books and films may give sneak peeks, but to personally give and receive it back was made possible by him.

From this moment on, you could conclude that yes, you reciprocated it.

“Je t’aime aussi, Jaehyun.”

16 octobre 1957

Autumn made its way to the countryside.

The leaves switched into red-brown shades, the weather in the south was warmer, and the wine harvest was highly anticipated. Jaehyun’s camera was a common item in your outings, taking as many photos as he could so the two of you had something to look back on.

Planned and candid, his range was wide. These were moments that proved that your youth was as happy as you wished it to be. You wouldn’t trade it for anything else.

Painting in his mansion was a regular thing, having new canvases prepared at his patio. There were so many items that amused you there like you could base your entire collection on his home. It’s not like Jaehyun could argue; it meant more time with you whenever you came over.

“Jaehyun, if you smudge paint on me, so help me Go-” He refused to listen to your “threats”, smearing black paint on your cheek.

“You were saying?” He cockily pestered, showcasing his paint-filled fingers. You dipped one of your brushes into the new paint and chased after him without hesitation. The entire evening became a paint war, a laugh fit even after seeing your reflections in the mirror. But before you could clean yourself, Jaehyun’s camera was by your face and he pressed the button.

“Still breathtaking.”

But the middle of the season arrived, that’s where your planned extension you’ve reached its end. The exhibit was next month, getting calls from your boss regarding your return and the paintings you’ll present. You informed her that you already had them mailed to your studio way back, so there’s nothing much to worry about.

All your bags were packed in the private car Jaehyun rented. Here, you’re bidding your goodbyes to every friend you’ve made outside the doors of your apartment complex, saving your last words with Jaehyun.

The night before, he stayed over and helped you pack your last items in luggage bags. He even brought extra clothes for you so you wouldn’t work extra. You’ve talked it out the whole evening through what happens next to ease your worries. In your bed, he opened the wide windows and pulled you under the sheets.

“Write to me.”

“Call me when you’re free, or whenever you feel like it.”

Leaning against the railing of the stairs, watched the sorrow in your face over this parting. He sensed how bittersweet everything was, but he wouldn’t change anything about it. He’s positive that your story won’t end here, not right now.

Sauntering to him, you sighed whilst taking your bag he held the whole time from him. His touch was tighter as the two of you hugged tenderly, nuzzling his head on your shoulder. The scent of his citrus cologne that implanted in your brain felt comforting, despite the uncertainty of everything between you.

You hinted a minty taste from the menthol candies from his home as his lips brushed yours, colliding it timely. He waited when everyone left, relishing these last seconds.

Stepping inside the vehicle, you waved your summer love farewell one more time before the driver hit the pedal. Your eyes couldn’t stray away from looking back, the distance between him and your former apartment widening. Only when he was no longer in the frame, you shifted your focus back in front.

Your fingers fiddled with the charm bracelet he gifted you from the market. It was custom-made by a jeweler who was great friends with his mother in his younger years. There were two pendants chained on it: a paintbrush and the sun.

“A paintbrush to remind you of your passion, and the sun to remind you of the summer we first met.”

The man was like one of his romance books, in human form. He knew how to catch your breath effortlessly.

Your stay, for now, may have concluded, but there was always next summer. And the ones after that. The village felt like a second home, one you can’t neglect like the other places you’ve lived. Then having Jaehyun here, the more reasons to return.

Undoubtedly the best vacation you’ve ever been in your adult years, one that didn’t sacrifice for your art so you could compete with other artists. The weight on your chest poofed into thin air, and you felt ready for what the next steps as a painter were.

Appreciating the greenery you passed by, you peeked over the side mirror of the car only to find Jaehyun quickly biking in your direction.

Now, what was he up to?

You instantly requested the driver to slow down his pace, rolling down the window of the car. Not caring about the strong winds, “You fool, what are you doing?!”

Although he trusted your last words, he had the greed to see your face again. It would be a long time until he’ll see you in person again. So he pedaled as fast he could to still reach you. Oh, the things you do when you’re in love.

“Mon cœur bat la chamade pour toi, (Y/N)!” [My heart beats loudly for you, (Y/N)!]

You giggled at his silliness, throwing out flying kisses.

“Je reviendrai bientôt, Jaehyun!” (I’ll come back soon, Jaehyun!)

21 octobre 1957

Only your friends at the studio gave you a warm welcome back, receiving comments like “get back to work” from your first encounter with your boss. Popping a champagne glass open after work hours on the rooftop of your studio, they interrogated you with all the questions they could think of.

“So this village in Provence…. was it beautiful as the tourists said?” Ten, who moved from his home in Thailand to Paris at a young age, expressed his curiosity whilst leaning against the railing overlooking the Eiffel Tower.

“Beautiful is an understatement, Ten. I miss it dearly!” You heaved a sigh, twirling your glass.

“So this inspiration you were looking for…” Amélie, your dear friend since your university days, created some tension as she prolonged her last word. Playfulness twinkled in her eyes, crossing her legs. “Was a person involved by any chance?”

For a moment, your throat almost gagged on the sizzling alcohol going down.

“What do you mean?” You acted clueless, pouring your now empty glass with more booze. But the moment Ten gave you the troublesome look coordinating with Amélie, you already knew you wouldn’t hear the end of it. These two were such gossips in and out of the studio.

Ten took the seat across you on the table and leaked all his pent-up information.

“So you know Seo Youngho, the only son of the Seo family. Rich, socialite, a total hotshot… yeah, all that jazz.” He dived in, seeing you nod over knowing that man. Someone in the past you’ve slept with, but that’s another story. “Well, Amelie and I attended one of his parties at his large penthouse. He had his usual crowd there; Kim Doyoung, Lee Taeyong, Nakamoto Yuta, and Lee Minhyung. But fun fact: there’s another member in that friend group who doesn’t go to these kinds of events.”

“Here’s where it gets interesting,” Amélie excitedly took off like the pipelette (chatterbox) she is. “Youngho, who was talking to us for a bit, asked where you’ve run off. Poor him, he must’ve missed you in his bed but anyway! We told him that you went down south somewhere in Provence for a break. Oddly enough, he mentioned how the mentioned member moved back there for the same reason.”

Ten and Amélie gave each other another frisky look, merely to piss you off. So predictable of them.

“Get to the point please!” You screeched.

“Jeong Jaehyun, ever heard of him?” Amélie imitated your tone of voice. “I mean, you should since you made a whole painting of him.”

“H-How,” Speechless, that’s what you were. Ten went on a fit of giggles, signaling the build-up of his intoxication.

“Youngho visited the studio to find a specific painting for his home, and we helped him in choosing. Then when your deliveries of paintings arrived that day and were unwrapped, the look on his face when he saw Jaehyun’s painting was priceless. Things started to add up, especially when he told us that he called up Jaehyun prior, he said that Jaehyun was seeing a girl during his stay there.”

“A young, burnt-out painter from Paris, to be specific.”

They’ve put you on the edge of the cliff, and it was too close to call it a coincidence. Of all things to be revealed, this had to be the first.

“Well, I was waiting for another time to tell you guys about him though.”

Their gasps of joy could give you guys a noise complaint by the neighbors, telling all about your escapades of him and you. During it, the more you missed seeing him daily either on his bike or his car. It was stuck in your routine, but now it’s reverted to your old one.

Could the next summer come any faster?

14 février 1958

Perhaps your newest collection at the Louvre was your most successful one yet.

Entitled “Inspirez, Expirez” (Breathe In, Breathe Out), your sceneries during your stay in the village varied. An old couple slow dancing under the night sky, and the quiet district of shops Jaehyun took you, those were some of your last additions.

A multitude of positive reviews on the newspapers and art magazines came in, commending on taking on a fresher, brighter outlook for a change whilst finding your spark again. As fulfilling it was, what you longed the most was the one responsible for it.

Lately, it’s been tough to contact him. His maids always answered the calls, informing you that he was busy with work or family matters. It’s so rare for him to act like this. Whatever it was, it wasn’t grand or serious hopefully.

Back to your collection, tonight was the last night of it. Just in time for Valentine’s day, where numerous socialite lovers embarked on this event, but you’re more fixated that it was also Jaehyun’s birthday. A boy full of love born on the day dedicated for it, things made more sense. In case, you’ve sent your birthday wishes to him through letter and passing the message to one of his maids. Even on his special day, he hasn’t reached out to you.

But to momentarily forget about that, there was a closing ceremony held for this exhibit with the other artists involved, and it was your turn to give your final remarks. More esteemed socialites and journalists were present, which didn’t halt your nerves the slightest. You were a professional after all, holding pride in your craft as you stood in front of the microphone wearing your new favorite custom-made gown.

There are perks when you have close friends in the fashion industry, specifically Kim “Key” Kibum from the House of Key. After defending him from a disrespectful client when you were picking up a dress for your boss during your internship years, not only did you earn his respect, but an invite to his shows and first claiming of new items from his collections. Dining in expensive restaurants in the metro was a plus, catching up on your lives. Sometimes calling each other out for your sexcapades too.

Speaking of him, he was in the crowd that night, ordering every photographer to take photos of your gorgeous self in one of his dresses. Or in your opinion, bribing some by how he stuffed a few thick stacks of Euro bills down their pockets.

Only one of it ever made. A dark green satin v-neck off-the-shoulder gown, where diamonds adorned your neck and ears and white stilettos kept your perfect balance. Also courtesy of Key.

Because it’s the winter season, he gifted you a limited edition white fur coat every socialite tried getting their hands on. Your hair was styled in a bun, emphasizing your dark tinted lips from this new lipstick Amelie insisted you buy.

Most people would get the first impression that you were one of the socialites, a child from one of the affluent families even. But you were a lot more remarkable than that, having inborn talent in the arts that you specialized over your youth and rising to the top without any parental help.

“Thank you to everyone for their endless support towards the magnificent collections of each artist present. As for mine, I am grateful to rechannel my creative side by taking a break. Rather than romanticizing overworking our bones to the core, there’s nothing wrong with taking a step back from the pressure. Being alive is a blessing, realizing further how our youth won’t stay with us forever. Being away from the boisterous cities, I found relaxation in the countryside of Provence.”

Your lips quirked into a grin as every single memory during that time reeled in your head like a movie. “The beauty of Provence cannot be simply put in words. The muses I’ve encountered were more than lovely, especially the man behind the Poetic Rose. With that, I sincerely thank everyone from my bottom of my heart and I hope to continue to support me in the years to come.”

The applause roared once you stepped down the platform, shaking hands with every esteemed guest with more gratitude as they praised you. These days, socializing with them was a lot easier. You’ve even taken more initiative to greet people first before they do, conversing with them easily about anything.

Key definitely noticed that as you toured him around your section, holding his nth glass of wine for the night.

“You, Madame (Y/N), transformed into a social butterfly.” He nudged your shoulder, smirking once he got a better view of his favorite painting from you. “I guess that’s the thing when you’re in love.”

“I beg your pardon?”

With this free hand, he motioned it up and down at the painting in front of you. “The Poetic Rose is none other than the youngest son of the Jeong family, whom I’ve met through his older sister, Krystal.”

“Am I really the only one who doesn’t know him?!” You stressed, jokingly. Key was elated to capture you in his trap, the changes of your personality too evident in his eyes. Figuring it out that it was love took a while, but being acquainted with Krystal, she’s the one who told him that her younger brother was in love with a painter in Provence. Do the math.

“I’ve met him through his older sister, one of my highly favored clients. He’s not much of a socialite like her, so I don’t really blame you for that.”

Searching for a waiter to refill your wine glasses, a surprise emerged the both of you.

“Madame Krystal, you’re absolutely stunning.” Key complimented her, giving the engaged heiress of Jeong Tea Inc. kisses on the cheek as respect. Her recent engagement to Kim Donghyun, her childhood sweetheart and also the heir of Kim Couture, was the talk of the town.

They arrived at the event together, drawing the attention of everyone in the room earlier. Now, he was speaking to a few influential socialites he made a deal with this week about the art collections present.

“Key, you never fail to look fantastic,” She remarked positively, poking his necktie before placing her undivided attention on you. “So you must be (Y/N) (Y/L/N). You’re beyond bewildering in that gown.”

“Flattered to hear that, Madame Krystal. Such a pleasure to meet you.”

The three of you chatted as if you were the only people there. From art, passion, and love, pride filled in your chest when you toured your collection. It was like walking down memory lane for her, adding out how she used to climb the peach tree with her younger brother during their childhood. Once her eyes laid on Poetic Rose, she took her time admiring it.

“My younger brother grew up well. That’s all I could ever hope for as his only older sister.” She paused, noticing how silent you became when you stared at the painting along with her. She observed the passion lit in your eyes, yet there was longing behind it by the way your lips pouted briefly. “You must really love him, do you?”

“I do, truly. After meeting him, not only was I boosted with so much ideas, but my heart embraced him for what and who he is in this universe.” You professed confidently, earning an approving smile from Krystal.

“If that’s how you feel, why not tell him that yourself?”

Her fingers gestured you to turn around. Stood in a grey suit with his brown hair slicked back, it was like seeing a completely new person. A handsome one though. His fashion in the countryside heavily differed from his fashion in the cities. So sophisticated and refined, he looked like a prince straight out of a fairytale.

Your fairytale.

“Jaehyun.”

It’s like everything stopped once he sprinted towards you, pulling you off your feet for a snug hug. Your arms threw themselves on his neck by instinct, not wasting a single second in his grasp. Your nose inhaled the woody scent of his cologne, something more formal than his usual fruity scent.

The smell of aftershave in his jaw couldn’t go ignored either, assuming that he must have had plans to go out tonight. Nonetheless, you squealed as if you were back in Provence, giggling at his boldness. Once he put you down, neither of you could get your hands off each other.

“What are you doing here? You didn’t tell me you’d be in Paris!” Clutching your waist, you gazed at him with doe-like eyes, instilling confusion.

“J’ai voulu te surprendre, my chérie.” (I wanted to surprise you, my darling.)

He chuckled, pushing some straying strands of your hair behind your ear. His eyes evoked so much endearment towards this elegant look you prepared, making his heart race as if he were in the gardens of his manor again.

Hearing his petname for you again attacked your heart every time no matter how much time passed, he lifted your chin high. Jaehyun urged himself to kiss you senseless right there, leaning lower. And yes, you anticipated it by how your eyes instantly closed.

Only if it weren’t for Krystal to clear her throat, obviously ruining the mood. Flinching away from your sensual lover, you rubbed the nape of your neck. Towards an heiress like her, it must’ve been unprofessional.

“Couldn’t you at least wait until I left, younger brother?” Her fingers flicked Jaehyun’s forehead, a teasing trick they used to do as kids. Even if she was a lot shorter now, it didn’t mean the impact was weak. He cursed under his breath, covering his forehead.

Stifling your laughter was a failure, crinkling your eyes to unleash your emotions. So this is what their sibling dynamic was like?

“Now excuse me, older sister. You didn’t tell me you were visiting the exhibit after my birthday dinner with our parents?” He crossed his arms, exchanging a judgmental look. For his sake, he wanted to maintain his pride. “All you said after dinner was that you were going straight home with your fiancé after all the alcohol mother gave you because it made you lightheaded.”

“Well, you know Key and his persuasiveness. He insisted I attend this event last minute because all the collections were amazing.” She explained, shedding a subtle glance at you. “Plus, it’s an excuse to finally meet this lovely girl you raved so much through your letters.”

Jaehyun kept his family life private, so this piece of information was new to you. The unpredicted way the fluttering feeling drew in your stomach, all you could do was smile from the flattery.

“He spoke about me to you?”

“More than speak, my dear. He practically professed his love for you, asking me advice on how to court a girl, make them smile, etcetera. You’re the first girl he’s been this affectionate with, and I completely understand now.” She patted your shoulder, hopeful. She had such a strong older sister vibe, reminding you of your older siblings back home. “You’re a clever, talented woman. I look forward to seeing you more often.”

As you nodded in approval, she turned towards her brother with her recurring teasing look. “Yah, Jaehyun. You better take care of her. If she ever sheds a tear because of you, I’m hunting you down in the gardens.”

“Harsh of you, Krystal.” He planted his hand on his chest, feigning pain. “But no worries. Having you and mother around me kept me well-mannered towards women growing up.”

Playfulness aside, Krystal felt honored towards her younger brother. Men these days maintained their sexist beliefs and rudeness, especially those who doubted her high position in the family business once her father stepped down. Nowadays, it’s men like Jaehyun who could really challenge the patriarchy and make women pursue a lot more than being limited as a housewife.

“I’ll keep that in mind. Now please excuse me, I’ll be on my way.”

Krystal waltzed her way out without tripping from her slight intoxication, which Jaehyun worried about earlier. But anyway, that left him alone with you. Filled with so many questions, you didn’t know where to start.

“Why didn’t you tell me you were coming to Paris? Why didn’t you acknowledge my birthday wishes to you? Why aren’t you answering my calls and letters?” You blurted without wasting a breath, weren’t trying to come off as needy, but it became peculiar when he was contacting you like usual.

You pushed off thinking of the worst scenarios, not wanting it to ruin your drive and your emotions either. Yet you trusted Jaehyun enough to know he wasn’t the type of person either.

“Okay slow down, ma chérie.” His hands maneuvered for you to stop for a bit. “Ask me one by one and I’ll give you a solid answer for each while we roam around.”

He arrived in Paris last week, which was initially for work. Then his birthday clashing was a coincidence. It would be too lonely to go home and celebrate his special day alone, so he extended. But again, it’s his work that caused his abrupt contact.

When you were too busy delving into the success of recovering your inspiration, he also found his spur to write again too. Day and night, his mind kept him tedious with an endless trail of thoughts and words. Overall, he finalized it then brought the end product to the same publishing house where his books in the past went through.

In fact, he decided to publish them specifically today on his birthday. The only day in his itinerary he planned, where after publishing, he’d hang out with his friends, have dinner with his family then run off to reunite with you.

“I didn’t intend to make you feel like a second choice, so please forgive me for that, ma chérie.”

“All is forgiven, Jaehyun.” You held both his hands, kissing them tenderly out of habit. “I’m overjoyed that you rekindled your creative side again.”

You were so understanding and empathetic, and Jaehyun aimed to act that way too. He learned so much from you as his friend before being his lover. Quickly enough, you’re both back to his portrait in the center. Like a critic, he narrowed his eyes and scrunched his nose. Tapping his chin with his finger,

“This man in Poetic Rose, he’s quite dashing.” He commented with conceit, walking closer to it to view it better. “His freckles are on point, his dimples and dazzling eyes too. Why exactly is he described as a Poetic Rose?”

“Well sir,” You stood beside him, imitating his actions. “This man here always spoke so eloquently, like he had a very poetic approach on life. He reminded me also of a rose by his rosy tinted cheeks and his beauty. He was alluring inside and out.”

“Is he your favorite muse?”

“I never quoted him as a muse because he’s more than that. Muses can be replaced once they no longer serve purpose towards the artist. Though with him, he’s the never-ending flame that I want to keep for the rest of time."

You held on to his hand, interlocking your fingers with his. The apparent reddening of his ears proved that he was flustered, yet you spoke no lies.

“Joyeux anniversaire, ma flamme.” (Happy birthday, my flame.)

“Merci beaucoup, ma chérie.” (Thank you, my darling.)

Something about his new release piqued your attention so you brought it up again.

“So tell me about your new book.”

“Let me show you instead.” Inside the blazer, there was an inner pocket that sealed a small hardbound book. Taking it out, he handed it over to you. “This is your copy.”

The cover of the book had an illustration of two young adults running down the fields under the bright sun, with the title written in cursive and placed in the center.

“L’Été de 1957.” (The Summer of 1957.)

Like a child who received a new gift in the mail, you flipped the book open. Seeing the table of contents and credits to other important people involved in the process, there was a detailed dedication right before the starting chapter. It’s an unexpected page, noticing that he never put anything like this in his last works.

“Pour ma chérie, qui a peint les couleurs manquantes de ma vie.” (For my darling, who painted the missing colors of my life.)

Although Jaehyun planned to write about the couples he met in the countryside, he chose to change his perspective. Instead, he based this new book on your summer romance, installing more original characters who made your romance blossom more.

“I was once so engaged in listening to people’s love stories, hung up on what they felt.” He expounded, pacing around the floor whilst you skimmed through the pages. There were black and white photos from your adventures too to wrap the reader further in the story.

“While I was struggling to find the next story, I realized late that my story with you was a perfect choice. When I fell in love with you, it’s like I didn’t have to fret anymore about anything. Everything slowly yet surely aligned into place for me. Like how we found inspiration in each other.”

A poetic speaker meant having a poetic, wise mind. You kept an open mind whenever Jaehyun shared his thoughts on life with you, an intimate time that didn’t require using your bodies. Whether you were stargazing or drinking wine by his patio, his soulful personality never changed.

“So I recapped every single memory we had and compiled them,” He resumed, taking a closer step towards yours. His warm hands grasped your waist again, catching a glimpse of your astonished face. Mostly, towards your lips that he missed feeling against his.

“This book expressed my own take on love this time, the one I want to grow in.”

You’d care less if you dropped the book and your coat right there, your major desire to kiss him again was driving your senses to the edge of a cliff. Nothing could’ve braced yourself the second you fervently collided your lips with his. It didn’t feel like you were in this exhibit, but somewhere back in his mansion engulfed in each other’s presence.

Your legs almost melted by your daring move, if it weren’t for Jaehyun’s arm moving upwards to your back to stabilize you more. Your body tingled with goosebumps due to his relaxing fingers all over your body. His tongue caved in your lips, and you couldn’t ban its access.

Such an explicit sight, it felt forbidden as you were inches away from the public crowd. Yet it was the least of your worries if they made a big fuss over it. Jaehyun was here again with you, and that was more valuable to you. He savored every trace of your touches, taking his delicate time with you. No past birthday could defeat this, especially when it’s the first one to celebrate with you. The first of many.

As much you wanted to keep this up for hours, your lungs started feeling constricted of air so your lips timidly let go. Though your hands couldn’t, your overwhelmed eyes couldn’t shift away from the heart-stopping view of your lover. Wherein even after such a fearless session, his eyes fused with love and need with his plumper lips.

“Everything about Provence, especially you, that’s the life I want.” You confessed this concealed secret that’s revolved your head for a while now. Yet its certainty was true.

“Are you sure, ma chérie? What about work?” As an artist, he believed you should stay where everything is accessible. Yet as his woman, he wanted you to follow your heart. Jaehyun didn’t want you to choose or struggle.

“I’ve grown out from the idea that the city life was the only life meant of an artist like me.” You replied, confident enough to discuss it after deep thought. “Cities like Paris hold exciting, vigorous flames that will have you clinging on to them. But then, they’ll eventually die the longer you stay. You get burned in the process too. However, I stand by what I said earlier. I found an endless flame when I met and began loving you, Jaehyun. It doesn’t sting at all; it illuminates strongly every living day.”

Urging him to lower his stance with your fingers, you stated one last phrase. “Wherever you are, that’s where I want to be.”

“If that’s the case,” Jaehyun acknowledged, sticking his arm out for you. “Let’s get out of here.”

Astounded expressions crowded the socialites in the event as they watched the both of you exit together. If the news of Krystal and Donghyun weren’t crazy enough, some journalists figured the mysterious man behind The Poetic Rose and spread it like wildfire.

How was the youngest son of the Jeong family turned renowned romance novel author connected to the impressive, up-and-coming painter from London?

What really went down in Provence?

“How can you miss out on the signs? Did you not see them share a kiss earlier?” Key protested to those who weren’t approving whatever relationship you guys had. He loved his tea but hated those who simply were money hungry. Wanting a chance to be a part of the rich family, only to fish them out of their riches sooner or later.

Meanwhile, the winter season didn’t stop any of you from roaming the streets of Paris. Moments like these were a preview of the future you’ve envisioned with Jaehyun. Youthful, free, and fiery, a love between two artists created more magic not just in their crafts but to those around them.

Promenading a street overlooking the Seine River, Jaehyun took out a smaller instant camera from his pocket and took a candid shot of you. Stunned, you slapped his chest with your bag.

“Hey! Just how many more things are hidden in your blazer?”

“Just my wallet and a few condoms. Why’d you ask?” He raised a suggestive brow, feigning good intentions.

You hummed, faking your deep thought mindset. “At this rate, I don’t think we’ll make it back to my apartment alive.”

Jaehyun tugged you by your coat, his lips hovering your ear to whisper. “If we call a cab right now, I can finger you in the backseat.”

You chuckled at his vulgar idea, but it seemed ideal. You loved the thrill of getting caught or having someone overhearing you two, just like him. Besides, his fingers don’t match up to yours when you touch yourself alone in your apartment. You bat your eyelashes, giving in.

“Deal.”

6 ans plus tard (1964)

Summer returned, the sun strongly smiling down to the plentiful flowers at your family garden. By the patio of your home, your canvas was already laid by the easel stand. Shades of yellow were applied first to symbolize the brightness of the day, following the outline of your desired scenery for this piece.

Dipping the brush in water to change colors, you took another glance at the breezy sky. Light blue with clouds resembling soft pillows, you inhaled gently as your brush faintly stroked the canvas again.

Your hair was tied in a bun, meaning that you’re in for a busy session. But a more soothing one as the jazz music flowed from the vinyl player inside. Stress was the last thing you needed right now.

“What’s madame artiste up to right now?” Your husband piped in from behind, placing down a tray of tea and crackers. With some top buttons of his white top left unattended, you glimpsed on his toned chest when he leaned down. But you mustn’t pry whilst working, even when temptation was calling your name repeatedly.

“The summer sunshine healed me of my discomfort, so I think it’s about time I painted again.” You chewed on the snack, looking back and forth to the view. As enchanting as all the flowers you and him planted over the years grew, you’re more amused by a little boy strolling around it with his magnifying glass and tiny wooden basket with his furry puppy by his side.

His tiny legs often troubled the two of you because he enjoyed spending time with nature. Only God knows what he found in the garden this time.

“Adrien est explorer encore. Devrais-je lui dire qu’il change de place, ma chérie?” (Adrien is exploring again. Should I tell him to change places, my darling?) Jaehyun cautiously asked, not wanting his 3 year old son to impair your perspective.

“Non,” (No,) You held on to his hand, kissing it sweetly. Although you peeved any unnecessary details found in your scenery in the past, Adrien was an exception. As his mother, it’s hard to say no to him unless necessary.

“Il est un garçon curieux, alors il devrait explorer et flâner où il veut.” (He’s a curious boy, so he should explore and wander wherever he wants.)

Life ever since you returned to the countryside shifted into something more precious than you imagined. From moving places constantly, you found a home to settle in for good. A home with overflowing love and inspiration. A home within Jeong Jaehyun.

Recently, you halted your work-related activities in Paris and came home because you were heavily homesick. It even affected your health as a whole. So you made adjustments with your schedules, postponing appearances to events to next year.

On the plus side, you could be more active as a mother to Adrien. It felt like you burdened Jaehyun to take care of Adrien most of the time because he mainly worked from home, wherein important people who wanted to meet him would have to fly out to the countryside.

Back and forth to Paris, your presence towards Adrien often lacked. Here came your biggest fear, which was Adrien forgetting you. But Jaehyun told you over and over again that it wasn’t the case. As he listened to every wrenching thought you had, but he’d combat it with heartfelt words of reassurance so you wouldn’t overanalyze things.

He vowed to love and take care of you when times get hard, and he will continue doing so.

Remember when you said how his mansion felt too big?

It no longer did after getting married.

It gave more room to grow and breathe more life into it. When Adrien was born, he was the prime reflection of your and Jaehyun’s love. He mirrored his father’s physical traits but with a daring personality like yours. A perfect mixture, the world worked amazingly to bring a boy like him into your life.

“Maman! Papa!” Adrien bolted to where you and Jaehyun stood. From the clothes he wore, it’s very much clear that his father was in charge of it whilst you slept in the entire morning. Suspenders, capri shorts, a white shirt, and a red beret, he deserved his title as Jaehyun’s mini-me.

Jaehyun swelled with pride and love for his only son, peeking over what he brought to show and tell you both. “Oh Adrien, what do you have for us today?”

In his basket, there were 3 sunflowers stuck out from the edge. It’s been a while since you’ve seen some in full bloom, lowering your stance to get a more vivid view. He took them out to hand them to you and your husband.

One flower for Jaehyun and two for you. You let out a gasp, scrunching your brows to the center. He always gave one of each item to you and Jaehyun, never more or less.

“Ooh, deux fleurs pour Maman. Pourquoi, Rien?” (Ooh, two flowers for Mama. Why, Rien?) Jaehyun let his nickname out for his lips while you grasped his small hand.

“Well, I heard from Olivier next door that on his birthday, he gave extra flowers to his mother so he could have another sibling. And it worked!” He spoke so innocently, yet it hitched a choke from Jaehyun’s chest. Your eyes widened from disbelief. The information he collected due to his curiosity, no boundaries truly.

“Le mois prochain, c’est mon anniversaire. Je me demandais si je peux avoir un frère ou sœur comme Olivier? Tu es toujours occupée, comme Papa. Je ne veux plus être seul, alors je veux une amie aussi.” (It’s my birthday next month, and I was wondering if I can have a sibling like Olivier? You are always busy, like Papa. I don’t want to be alone anymore, so I want a friend too.)

You exchanged looks with Jaehyun, not knowing how exactly to respond. Although you and Jaehyun did agree that you wanted more than one child when you were younger, neither of you brought it up again since your careers were always loaded with plans.

Adrien was a surprise child actually, conceived on the night where you and Jaehyun celebrated after L’Été de 1957 was announced to be the best-selling romance novel of the decade in the country.

In Paris at his family home, where his parents brought out all their prized liquor, the two of you drank the entire night away to the point Krystal and Donghyun had to push you away from each other from your public affections because their children were present.

But it didn’t stop you two once you reached his bedroom, far away from everything and everyone. And you’ll never change it.

“Oh, Rien,” You eased in, consoling him. “Je suis désolé. Mais c’est franchement une grande demande, n'est-ce pas?” (I am sorry. But that’s quite a big request, right?)

“Mom and I will think about it first, okay? Another kid is a big responsibility, and you’ll be their older brother. That’s another important job, can you do it well?”

“Yes, I can, Papa!” He beamed with glee, his covered head patted by his father after. As you placed the sunflowers beside your palette, Adrien then proceeded to ask you if he could paint with you like old times.

Never you refuse especially with his sparkling round eyes and chubby face that makes you want to squish every time.

As you lifted his light body to sit on your lap, you placed your brush between his stubby fingers and carefully aimed in whatever angle seemed fit so the painting process would run smoothly and perfectly. He let out sounds of amazement when the strokes get bigger, jumping slightly too because the picture became more vivid. You’d smile and coo at him, commending whenever he followed instructions well. As his mother, you only encouraged your child in whatever they want to excel in.

Adrien was the child of two artists, so it was only natural that he had an artistic side in his veins.

Too caught up in your fun, hearing the automatic shutter of the camera from your side was delayed. The source was none other than Jaehyun hiding behind his camera. Jaehyun’s heart soared at the heavenly view of the most important people in his life, wanting to treasure the moment as a lovely memory.

“Hey!” You shouted, placing down the messy brush by the palette. “Je suis très laid!” (I am very ugly!)

“Shh! Tu est rayonnant, ma chérie. Papa est juste, Rien?” (Shh! You are glowing, my darling. Papa is right, Rien?)

Jaehyun politely quizzed the peppy boy, nodding excitedly. His dimples deeply showed up, the main trait he claimed from his father.

“Oui, papa! Maman est toujours belle!” (Yes, papa! Mama is always beautiful!)

He exclaimed, pecking your cheek numerously. You squealed, attacking him with tickles and kisses back. His shouts of delight, then he was suddenly carried by your tall husband in the air like he was flying in the sky. Adrien enjoyed that motion highly, ending up on Jaehyun’s shoulders shortly after to play by the garden again.

“Go paint. I’ll take care of him now.” Jaehyun persuaded, roaming through the long rows of flowers in full bloom. Though seconds after adding some strokes to your piece, you let down your hair, put a hat and sandals on, and ran to the cute duo to join them.

And that’s how your family spent the entire afternoon. By the garden, running around and taking photos and short videos from Jaehyun’s camera. Freezing these valuable memories, this was truly the life you loved so much.

After your break, you could convince the company you worked at that you’d prefer fewer trips to Paris and stay in the countryside longer. How badly you’ve wanted to hold your exhibits here instead. Plus like Jaehyun, let influential people visit you. You’ve already made a big name for yourself now, so that should be valid enough.

Dinner time passed by quickly too, eventually putting Adrien to a smooth slumber as you massaged the roots of his soft hair while Jaehyun sang him a lullaby. This was your joint parenting technique with him since he was a newborn, and it worked quickly as lightning.

You redressed into your silk nightgown after bringing your canvas to the master bedroom, opening the balcony doors to invite the cool breeze in. You tweaked some bits of your painting, including a silhouette of your small family. Regarding where to place it, probably by the living room as it matched the theme.

“What a spectacular day, don’t you think, ma chérie?” Jaehyun conversed, admiring the calm movements of your brush. He noticed a quirky smile grace your lips.

“It’s been a long time since we had quality time like that with Rien. He’s a feisty ball of energy these days.” You replied with a nostalgic daze. “It’s so crazy how one day, he was still crawling to us. Now, he could outrun the both of us.”

“Comme le temps passe vite, hmm?” (How time flies fast, hmm?) Nodding, nothing braced for what your husband had in mind. You almost dropped your brush mid-way. Jaehyun’s lips impatiently devoured your neck, his huge hands fondling your breasts. Violently throwing your head back against his chest, a needy moan parted your lips.

“Jae-” His touches reaching south to where you desired him highly, dampening hastily as your legs naturally spread apart. Rushed exhales, “À quoi tu penses maintenant?” (What are you thinking about right now?)

“Rien se sent seul,” (Rien feels alone,) His hot breath whispered against your ear, his fingers dangerously trailing your thin panties up and down. With your hands tightly clutching on his bicep,

“Alors, donnons-lui une amie.” (We should give him a friend.)

Ever since Adrien mentioned such a daring topic, it hasn’t left Jaehyun’s mind the whole day. After seeing you in utter bliss with your son earlier, he found you so majestic and radiant. It’s a different kind of happiness, especially for parents.

Now you went on hiatus, he thought that it was the right time to have another. He enjoyed his younger years with Krystal, and he wanted Adrien to experience it too. 3 years was quite a wait, and it seemed ideal to try again.

From his nude chest, you flipped around to intensely clash his lips with yours. Draping your arms behind his neck, Jaehyun lifted your entire figure from the chair. His hands gripping on your butt, he delicately lowered you down your bed.

Drowning into his sensual kisses with his hands all over you, this could prolong for hours. Reddening love marks started to resurface whilst your fingers tugged on the drawstring of his pajama pants. Jaehyun’s fingers dove under the fabric of your panties, his index finger rubbing figure 8s the sensitive bundle of nerves.

You struggled to swallow your moans, not wanting Rien to hear it. You wouldn’t want to repeat history, covering it as Jaehyun massaging you after a hard day.

“I know you want one too, ma chérie.” His fingers began to drape down the straps of your gown, presenting your breasts in its full, perky view. But before his lips could suck on your erect nipples, you parted momentarily from him and got up on your feet. Pulling up your straps again, Jaehyun simply laid down but he wasn’t pleased from how you left him hanging.

“Où vas-tu, ma chérie?” (Where are you going, sweetheart?)

He was growing impatient. You were never to interrupt such a sexy atmosphere ever.

From one of your drawers in your vanity table, an important, half-opened envelope was hidden. You were supposed to give it tomorrow but now seemed like a perfect time. Reading it as soon one of the maids handed it to you gave you the jitters, but in a positive way. Sitting back down on the edge of your bed, you exhilaratingly passed it to your husband.

“Qu’est-ce que c’est?” (What is this?)

“Ouvre-le.” (Open it.)

Jaehyun slowly opened the edges and once he took out the contents. Reading it thoroughly, he couldn’t believe it as his jaw dropped, pacing from the letter and you back and forth.

“Vraiment, ma chérie?” (Really, my darling?)

It was from a doctor you visited in Paris a few days before you left, who confirmed just exactly what caused your health to go feeble suddenly. You already had one certain suspicion, which you addressed in your leave of absence letter. Amelié, who finally got the position as the head, couldn’t believe her ears and insisted you take all the time off you needed.

“On dirait que Adrien a reçu son cadeau d'anniversaire en avance.” (It looks like Adrien received his birthday gift early.)

Overall, it turned out the headaches and repeated vomiting you mistook as motion sickness from traveling was a surprise hello to your second child.

A girl specifically, thanks to the blood test she recommended.

“Je t’aime, (Y/N).”

“Montre moi combien tu m’aimes, Jaehyun.” (Show me how much you love me, Jaehyun.)

The whole night through, the two of you vigorously celebrated with the moonlight from the windows and a few scented candles set in the room. Wet kisses left on your collarbone, words of devotion exchanged, holding his hand as he groaned from heartily thrusting in you, the number of moans from your lips overlapped with the vinyl playing in the room. The intimacy between you two increased, almost as if you made love for the first time again all those years ago.

Excluding being drenched from the rain.

Once the two of you grew tired, Jaehyun lied down beside you. Wrapping one arm around, one hand trailed down your naked skin again. His wedding band flashed your eyes, reminding you of the commitment you promised each other. For better, and for worse.

Jaehyun promised to love you endlessly as a woman and his wife, and it didn’t cease when you became the mother of his children. He respected how strong you are, physically and mentally. He helped you in any way he could as you endured the struggling process.

At the end of the day, his family was his biggest priority. More than ever now, you needed him as you go through the pregnancy phases again. Specifically, his index finger lingered on your stomach. There was no bump or other signs of showing, except for that glow he complimented you earlier on.

“We met and fell in love over the summer, got married in summer, had Adrien mid-summer, and now found out about our daughter at the start of summer.” He smiled, blessed at all the good he’s received during this time.

“The summer gods must adore us.” Your vacant hand with your wedding band topped his. To love and to cherish. “Ils m'ont amené à toi.” (They brought me to you.)

His power on you was simply addicting, as if your early twenties revisited you. You straddled himself once again, your fingers caressing his face sweetly. When it reached his lips, he placed longing kisses there and pulled you closer again for another kiss on your lips. In between, you mumbled in a silvery tone,

“Then they led us to say I do. Pour toujours et à jamais.”

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