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inkskinned · 11 months

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there are days that it is hard, and unfair, and some horrible part of me wishes i could have been born in a different world. i love being queer, i hate how others react to it. when i first came out at 15, my mom whispered: please don't say that. your life would be so much harder.

it is harder.

it is also a tuesday, walking my dog. we are both skiving off of work, and yes both of us have dyed hair and pronouns. mine is patchy - it was my first time trying bleach; i didn't have enough. theirs is a resilient toadstool green. a little girl comes up to us and asks um, excuse me? is your hair real? 'cause jason says you're a fairy.

it is sunday brunch, all of us talking over each other, overfull on love. she is trying out a new name today, and we made her a cake with today's name scrawled in shaky purple letters. she laughs so much she cries and then gets frosting in her hair. someone young at a different table keeps giving us these large, wide eyes: the same look we have all been on the other side of. the kind that says, breathless: wait, is that possible?

it is a half-fight in a supermarket because he loves "dance moms" and says abby's tiktok is funny and meanwhile i think the children in that show should be allowed to sue abby lee miller for child abuse. i tell him that it led to the casual acceptance of child harassment for mainly adult views; and then i am standing, suddenly, in someone else's thrown soda. there's a white lady standing there, furious, saying something about hell-on-earth. i had forgotten i was wearing stuff with pride colors. and then it is this: he had just been casually arguing with me - and within an instant, he squares his shoulders and goes after her like i am his sister

on saturday i sat in a circle while beca played with my hair and we were all over 30 and we laughed about how much happier we are being this old, how much more we appreciate our community. 25 minutes from now, we will be on stage to dance in baggy beige clothing, but for now we look on with envy to the dancers in loud-and-bright buttondowns. where are they getting these shirts! i cry, distraught. everyone laughs. one of our friends has a mushroom witch hat. this would have been cringey in high school, probably. instead we are all delighted with each other; happy just to be here and alive and moving

it's that last week my new friends cried with joy for me when they heard i'm getting top surgery. every so often i have the honor of being the first person someone feels comfortable enough to tell. i'm trying to make long fluttery butterfly wings to wear to pride; but i don't know anything about fabric or dye, so my friends have been sending me their personal advice.

i think in a different poem i would talk about how sometimes you walk into a room and put the mask back on. but i'm sleepy and my whole brain is fuzzy so i think in this one, it's a monday, and my dog and i took a nap on a couch, and i had missed texts from friends. i used to wake up lonely. i think this poem is about walking into a room and seeing someone and just knowing, the way you just-know-sometimes, and then giving them that little smile, and seeing them light up with joy and relief. it is how we always seem to be able to find each other in a crowded room. how we always seem to make friends with each other before even we know-it-to-be-true. it is saying: we're very different people; but i belong to you.

it is harder, yes. but it comes with a built-in family.

#wish this was better written!!! but im sleepy!!#writeblr #pride #lgbt #but for real please help me make these lesbian wings. gonna get the supplies tomorrow . i have #no sewing machine but know how to hand sew #have never done a good job with tie dye so idk why im just runnin with it #ps im specifically going to boston pride next weekend come hang out with me

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transmascboytoy · 2 months

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The autoandrophile and force masc community here on tumblr, while relentlessly filthy, has also been so incredibly affirming.

I know autogynephilia and autoadrophilia have been weaponized against us, but like, I don’t understand why feeling sexy/being sexually aroused by your body is a problem.

For most of my life I tolerated or shunned away from the way I looked. Only liked my body for how it turned other people on, for how it was considered attractive by others, but it never added to my sexual pleasure, and often had to be mentally worked around by framing it through the pleasure others took from me.

Now?

Now I’m very turned on by just existing in my body and it’s incredibly affirming. I saw myself in the mirror getting dressed at my partner’s apartment the other day, and in the mirror I saw a man. The lights were low so you couldn’t even see my scars, just my shape, and it was the greatest combination of joy and disbelief and, yes, lust. Not necessarily lust for my own self, but lust for existing in my body. Lust spurred by being able to show up and interact with people and lovers as the self I was always meant to be.

A lust that is essentially the opposite of the self aversion and self objectification that I thought was so normal for so much of my life.

I understand that queer folks have always been painted as more sexualized and deviant and dirty than straight folks for even something as harmless as a kiss, but I hate the fact that something so incredibly affirming for me and many others is used to further marginalize and medicalize us.

#autoandrophile #autoandrophilia #t4t #force masc #forced masculinization #forcemasc #ftm #ftmprettyboy #trans solidarity #trans theory #trans love #trans pride #queer community

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piratecaptainscaptainpirates · 4 months

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Too often, OFMD metas have to focus on proving Ed's in pain or suffering so we can actually talk about his feelings. There's a startling sympathy gap in this fandom when it comes to him, but it makes me sad sometimes that I see more of Ed hurting than I do of him thriving, especially since this is a show so much about queer joy. So, fuck it, happy Ed Teach appreciation post!

When he's having a good time, he's so bouncy!

The best thing we got out of s2 was seeing him smile without the beard, because so often his smiles are so sweet and shy!

Look at the absolutely lovesick way he looks at Stede when Stede can't even see him. Like five minutes after he'd been so mad at him.

At the end of the season, Ed's come so far! He's getting to actually plan out a future for himself, with his boyfriend by his side.

Look at their smiles when he tells Stede he loves him! He's so happy and relieved!

I love how he ends this season compared to how he felt at the start. He looks so calm and happy and peaceful as he and Stede talk about their new place - they both know they're talking about them. They're fixer-uppers, the pair of them. But the bones are good. Their relationship has a strong foundation.

Ed had a rough time at the start of this season! It was so heartbreaking! But he's in a much better place by the end. He's made so much progress towards unlearning some of the awful things he's been told and believed about himself, and he's looking forward to building a life together with the man he loves. He's happy and he fucking deserves it.

#our flag means death #ofmd

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dragonlands · 7 months

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I wondered why Our flag means death felt so weirdly familiar from the start, and now I think I realized it. It reminds me of - and I mean this in the best possible way - the 2010s m/m fanfics that I used to read. We as a society have started using the term "like fanfiction" for bad writing and sexual y/n reminescent romances, but here I mean it differently. I mean those fanfics where we took a heteronormative or queerbaity, often dark and gritty, series, and just made it so over the top queer. The two male leads? Obviously in love. The beloved side characters? Queer, of course. The random side characters? Let's make them queer too for fun. Random polyamory happening, as a completely normal thing. Dropping fandom inside jokes in one sentence, and having some gut wrenching angst in the next.

One of the things I loved most about fanfiction was that it's genre bending. It's a bit of adventure, a bit of angst, a bit of comedy, a bit of erotica. It just brings me so much joy seeing someone take all those elements and making an absolutely brilliant show with them. This is what fanfic was always about to me, and seeing it seep into mainstream makes my little queer heart happy.

#our flag means death #ofmd #blackbonnet #stede bonnet #edward teach #ed x stede #lucius spriggs #black pete

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shapelytimber · 6 months

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LIBERTINE !

Fuck the rushed dogshit ending, Wee John and Izzy continued to do drag together, sailing on the revenge from town to town. Don't miss their new "libertine" show !!

[PRINT] - [COMMISSIONS]

Ok after more than a week of reflexion, and a chat with my evil advisor @quijicroix (who is a genius)... Izzy Hands should have sang "libertine" by mylène farmer instead of la fucking vie en rose. Why ? 1) mylène farmer is a very famous french queer artist 2) her songs (especially libertine) are used all the time in drag shows in france 3) la vie en rose as taken other the years a very bougie parisian conotation, so to have a PIRATE sing it ?? Wtf ? 4) she often performed with drag queens on stage- and I could go on.

But all I have to say is, please please please if you've never heard it or seen the clip- Go watch it right now ! It's so fucking good !!! (cw nudity and a bit of blood. Also old ass guns)

Wee john gets to be cunt and play the vilain, Izzy (who is more of a drag king) gets to play the gender protag <3 the show of course include a choreographed fight scene at the end

Process + other famous french songs rec vvv

VERY rough colors

Sketch

And just to be petty, here are other famous french songs that would have been way better than la vie en rose :

- Le bien qui fait mal (Mozart l'opera rock) ("I have joy in pain, I get drunk on this poison until I loose my sanity". The most izzy ass song you can get, it's horny kinky angsty BDSM themed song what more do you want ? Ok to be fair it's more s1 Izzy, but still !)

- Mourir sur scène (Dalida) ("I want to die on stage". well it's less a love song and more foreshadowing for the end, but if Izzy's death had been better written, less rushed, or happenned in an hypothetical s3 (I really don't think they'll have one tho-), it would have been so good.)

- Les demons de minuit (Images) (sillier for sure, but horny and iconic. Alas it's very het)

My final note on this will be, why french ?? Because Abba Lay all your love on me or the winner takes it all would have been so fucking good-

PS : I did most of the rendering very tired and a bit drunk after a party hfrifgruigfrui I had so much to correct after that what a nightmare

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littleblackraincloudofcourse · 6 months

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I've been wondering for a while now why out of all the premature cancelations of any show I've ever watched Willow was the most upsetting to me. I finally understand why. This felt more than any of the others like a betrayal. I have been a fan of Disney since I was three. I watched and loved so many stories but never felt quite like I was apart of them. Characters like me were always sort of on the periphery of epic tales. It was rare to feel included and when I was the story often left others feeling as I normally did. They could enjoy the story but where not quite part of it.

Then last year, Willow premiered and finally there was something bringing us all together. Women, people of color, queer people, and people with disabilities where all equally apart of the story. They weren't a liability, villans or even helplessly waiting for rescue. They were the heroes. We were the heroes in a world of fantasy. Even better, the "straight" white male was the one in need of rescue. It was the kind of story I never thought I would see on screen. Best of all, it was good. Willow is funny, dramatic, action filled and romantic. It's a well written story full of love of all kinds for all of us. Watching it filled me with joy and hope.

Then Disney announced it was canceled and I was heartbroken. Then they claimed it was not canceled but on hiatus. It was like emotional whiplash and before we could recover, Willow was removed like it never existed. After more than three decades of being a Disney fan, after people like us have been Disney fans for literally 100 years, they erased our stories and acted like nothing had changed.

I didn't understand what I was feeling before because I've never felt it outside a personal relationship before. I had never been this connected to a series before. I believed Disney cared about our stories, that they cared about us. In hindsight, that was a bit naive for someone my age, but again this all new to me.

The fact is, this was a betrayal. This was worse than being sidelined or excluded. This was saying our stories weren't worth. That our stories didn't matter to them. It wasn't just a show and they knew that, they know that. The entire cast expressed how important Willow was to them for the same reasons. We saw that in Behind the Magic. Fans have been campaigning every day since they announced the cancelation to show how much the series mean. Over the last six months, I have found some the kindest, most inclusive and respectful people not just on the internet but truly in the world. I have never been apart of a fandom so filled with love that there's no room for hate.

I haven't been able to enjoy Disney the way I use to since Willow. I canceled Disney+ immediately once it was removed and now that more and more of their content has moved to Hulu, I've had to canceled them as well. I haven't even watched any movie they've put out this year. It feels like going back to an ex-lover that mistreated me because I did love them. I loved Disney but they don't love any of us. I still hope to get Willow back some day and for their stories to continue but I don't think I will ever feel the same about Disney.

#willow series #save willow #willow 2022 #representation matters #mims ufgood #willow ufgood #elora danan #graydon hastur #thraxus boorman #venoma scorpia #jade claymore #kit tanthalos #airk tanthalos #i put straight in quotes because i don't really think Airk is but IDK

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poetry-protest-pornography · 4 months

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Cherry Magic was supposed to be the light and fluffy show, but I'm actually having a lot of feelings about the rooftop scene.

Specifically, about Karan feeling guilty for his attraction to Achi, and projecting his own discomfort at that desire being made a spectacle onto Achi.

I think most Queer people -- perhaps mostly Queer people of a certain age -- have at some point had a crush that they knew was unrequited, and had those feelings turn into a weird amalgam of stress, guilt, and fear. And, if you were particularly lucky, you got the bonus addition of it making it difficult to impossible to maintain a healthy relationship with that person, and eventually it made you so fucking angry with yourself (because if you were just "normal" and didn't have all these thoughts and feelings that are definitely only happening to you, you wouldn't be riding this person hating you).

Karan is struggling with exactly that here. He's struggling with the idea that his interest in Achi is making Achi unhappy, and he thinks he's struggling to maintain a friendly relationship, even though we see Achi repeatedly thinking that no one is more considerate of him and his feelings than Karan.

But Karan didn't see that. So Karan only knows that in his head, he's screaming 24/7 about how much he loves Achi, and he blames himself and his desire for Achi being uncomfortable with the game - kiss. Because his wanting is so loud and obvious to him, that it's hard to remember no one else hears it.

Queer desire is so often framed by others as deviant and dangerous, and it is so easy to internalize that, to demonize our own desire, especially when it makes us feel conflicted about what we want vs what we can have/think we can have/think we deserve/can ask for. Especially when we're faced with wanting a person who isn't interested, or who doesn't seem interested in the same way that we are.

Because then, any little awkwardness on their part, any potential discomfort, is on us-- on our desire, our wanting, our queerness. Even when we're keeping it to ourselves, because it always feels so loud and all consuming (because we're "not supposed to", so it's a constant worry of getting caught).

And the shock and relief and joy on Karan's face when Achi said "it's not that I'm uncomfortable with kissing you!"?

Ugh, my queer little heart ❤️

Anyway. Feelings, I'm having them.

#cherry magic #cherry magic th #tay is doing a great job and it's apparently hurting my feelings

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firstkanaphans · 6 months

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if i have permission to be a bit of a bitch in your inbox (feel free to ignore this if not), the dichotomy people build between bl and queer media is sooooo fascinating. and of course by that i mean it gives me hives. the universalizing of 'real queer experiences' is obnoxious as hell, but how its been applied to ofts has really shown me why i find it so obnoxious. most of the people who hold this dichotomy would never classify a bl that ignores homophobia as 'authentically queer' media. but i definitely saw people who hoped that the 'authentically queer' ofts would exist in a bubble without any slutshaming, or that it would be resolutely shut down in show. but in my aroallo experience? that would be as inauthentic as the no homophobia bubble, so where does that leave us?

also the circular logic in the bl vs queer media arguments is mind numbing. 'bl doesnt cover these types of themes' yeah dude because you forcibly remove everything with those themes from the bl category in your head. 'queer media must acknowledge homophobia' the idea that a story by queer people about queer characters isnt really queer because it chooses to focus on joy or discovery or any other facet of queer existence is so fucking depressing. go hug a queer friend and think about why you feel queerness is defined by suffering before anything else.

Oh, hey, you found my soap box, Anon! Let me just step on up there with you for a minute.

So, first off, let me just say how much I hate the term “authentically” queer. It seems to suggest that in order to be queer, you have to be queer a certain way. As an ultra femme lesbian, the queer community often makes me feel like I’m not queer enough. That I don’t understand the hardships that come with being gay because I am “straight-passing.” This is the same thing people do to BLs. News flash: if you’re queer, you’re queer. Period. Congratulations, that’s all it takes to be authentic!

I don’t think it’s a coincidence that a large percentage of the people I see using this designation are straight women who think that queer suffering is a necessary part of the queer experience, but a lot of “authentically queer” people—me included—don’t want to be reminded of our real-life suffering every time we turn on the TV. Heartstopper is triggering for me. Bad Buddy is not. As a queer woman currently living in Ron DeSantis’s Florida, I deserve to be able to turn on the TV every once in a while and not be reminded that there are people in the world who want me dead.

I’ve learned that when people describe a BL as “authentically queer,” what they actually mean is “This BL feels more Western”—the racist insinuation there being that Western media is inherently better.

I feel like The Eclipse is a good example of this hypocrisy. No one has ever called The Eclipse “authentically queer” despite the fact that it delivers one of the most nuanced takes on the dangers of systemic homophobia that I have seen anywhere. The writers of both the source material and the script are gay men. The director is queer. That seems to meet all of the qualifications these people set for “authentically queer” and yet no one has ever questioned that The Eclipse is a BL. Why? Because it incorporates traditionally Asian/yaoi humor tropes such as the pratfall and the accidental kiss.

Are you sensing a pattern? It’s not the queer-ness of a piece of media that determines whether it is seen as “authentic.” It is its “Western-ness.”

Let me be very clear: All BLs are “authentically queer” media because the only requirement needed for a piece of media to be “authentically” queer is for the characters to be queer. And if you don’t like that, then maybe stop watching BLs.

If the people who were producing these shows had a problem with the term, that would be another discussion, but they don’t. P’Jojo has never advertised Only Friends as anything other than a BL. The fandom did that for him. And with all due respect, if the people making the fucking thing are calling it a BL, then it’s a fucking BL.

So, yeah. Not liking BLs doesn’t make you cool. It makes you a bigot. The fact that the term has become so derogatory is rooted in both racism and misogyny because this was originally a genre created by women, for women, and the hobbies of women are so often infantilized.

BLs are queer media. Die mad about it.

#i'm a bit heated this morning guys 😅#the eclipse #only friends the series #asks #thai bl

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ingravinoveritas · 9 months

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DAVID TENNANT USING THEY/THEM PRONOUNS??! Georgia’s story showing David at the theater and used their pronouns for them. If this is true and they really do use those pronouns, I really hope Georgia showed and made sure it was okay for her to post and out them. I really hope that if this is true, they are okay and felt safe enough to be posted and shared online about this

Oh, my. Well, I did indeed see Georgia's Insta story the other day, but for those who didn't, here it is:

The reaction that I've seen to this has been intense, which is not surprising. I also don't think it would be at all surprising if David actually does identify as nonbinary, as since his appearance on the Reasons to be Cheerful podcast, I've written on my blog here and here about how David's increasingly vocal advocacy for the LGBTQ+ community (especially nonbinary/trans folks) could be as much on his own behalf as it is for Wilf. It's often the case where someone may not feel able to confront the struggles or questions they've had about themselves until they are living it through their child's eyes, and feel a sense of urgency to make the world better for their child, as well as for the child they once were.

It is also entirely possible that Georgia just used "their" as a neutral term, without meaning it as a specific statement on David's gender identity. What is interesting to me, however, is that the casual use of "their" was exactly how she began to allude to Wilf being nonbinary. I also tend to think that Georgia is very deliberate with what she posts on social media and does not post anything "accidentally" or haphazardly. That being said, it is ultimately David's decision as to whether or not to share something so personal, and I concur with you @phantomstars24 in hoping that Georgia made sure it was okay for her to post that (if that is indeed the case).

The other thing I want to mention that makes this especially peculiar is that, as Anon #2 mentioned, Ty Tennant does seem to have deleted his main Instagram account, just days before GO 2 was released. Given that he has a (small) role in episode 2, one would think that he'd want to be able to promote that on social media. So the timing of all of this (Ty deleting his Insta, and now Georgia's story using "their") is what I am questioning, as if an announcement (of some sort) about David is forthcoming, it could be that Ty deleted to avoid being bombarded with questions/comments from fans about it. Again, pure speculation here, but it does make you wonder.

Whatever the case may be--whether David is nonbinary or not--I wish him nothing but happiness, and the joy of feeling fully comfortable with who he is. It's a difficult and frightening time for queer folks, so if he is contemplating this, I hope it will happen on his terms, when he feels safe and ready to be open.

#phantomstars24 #anonymous #reply post #david tennant #soft scottish hipster gigolo #georgia tennant #ty tennant #it sure doesn't feel like a coincidence #but who knows #i hope david knows that he is lovely #and deserves good things #nonbinary #discourse

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ladyloveandjustice · 4 months

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Fall 2023 Anime Overview: I'm in Love with the Villainess

Premise: Rae is reincarnated as the heroine of her favorite dating sim. But she has no interest in romancing any of the boys- she's head over heels for Claire Francois, the villainess of the game. Claire is horrified to find the major target of her bullying suddenly enjoys it, often pleading "step on me harder". But Rae isn't just here to flirt with Claire- she has a plan to save her beloved from a horrible fate.

I'm allowed to have a problematic gay fave. In fact, I would call it my right as a lesbian. And I enjoy I'm in Love with a Villainess a lot, despite some bumps in the road. It's tropey as all get out and a story that shows signs of having an inexperienced author, but it has real heart to it, it's full of joy, and connects with me in surprising way.

I'll try not to ramble too much, since I'm planning on writing a longer article on this series-- so keep your eyes peeled.

I'm in Love with the Villainess might not always be polished or expertly crafted, but it is very fun and entertaining. Rae ignoring all the male love interests to stan for her mean girl fave is ultra relatable to me, and her gremlin energy is off the charts. Claire is also a super fun character-- if you love ridiculous ojou-sama characters, she is max ojou sama. But she's also hiding a lot of insecurity and of course, a secret soft side-- her character arc over the course of the series is really satisfying.

However, Rae's pushiness might be a sticking point for some. Her worst moments are mostly contained to episode 2 where she does inexcusable things like ogling Claire while she's changing (against Claire's wishes) after having wriggled her way into a position as her maid (against Claire's wishes, though Rae does have secret noble reasons for that one). This is her worst moment and she calms down a bit from there as the story starts to find itself. Her pushiness remains, but gets a bit less uncomfortable as it becomes clear Claire likes her too.

This pushiness clashes a bit with a really interesting thing ILTV does--which is engage bluntly and honestly with homophobia and stereotypes. There's a great moment in episode three where the series. Rae is asked point blank if she's gay, she responds yes. When Claire moves away from her in response, it's pointed out to her that's a form of homophobia, and it's pointed out how screwed up it is to believe anyone who's gay is automatically going to creep on every girl they see. Rae also gently corrects someone who gives her the common "she just happened to be a woman, you're just falling in love with the person right? Your love just transcends gender?" line, (which is a common line that's used to avoid talking about queerness directly in manga and anime) with "no, I'm a lesbian, I only fall in love with women."

And yes, homophobes got big mad at this scene. How dare a yuri anime be gay! I'm in Love with the Villainess does not let homophobic yuri fans feel safe.

It's really refreshing to see a silly isekai series directly engage with stereotypes and lesbian issues like this, and it was a very pleasant surprise when I read the novels.

However, this message is a little muddled by the fact Rae did harass Claire, so Claire has every right to feel uncomfortable around her. The show does acknowledge this. The story makes it clear it knows Claire has a right to distrust Rae and it's her responding badly specifically to Rae saying she's gay is the problem. But it's still very weird to simultaneously have a "gay people aren't automatically predators!!!" coupled with "well also our gay main character does commit a little sexual harassment sometimes".

(Some of this weirdness could have been rectified if the story had character besides Claire act badly to Rae saying she was gay, and have them get the lecture, since the point was supposed to be that gay people don't hit on every member of the same gender they meet...but again, that point falls flat if the lecture recipient is Claire, since Rae has already been hitting on her).

I don't really begrudge the author this- Inori was obviously just engaging in the unfortunately typical anime tropes, but also decided to also use her story to passionately educate about and defend gay people and couldn't quite reconcile the dissonance. However, it is very "have your cake and eat it too".

But ILTV does do a very interesting thing with the common anime trope of the overly demonstrative lesbian character who does wacky hijinks and declares her love in a "funny" way. Rae reveals she's so used to being treated badly and rejected by friends and crushes for being gay that she treats her feelings as big joke as a defense mechanism. Because she’s so used to being rejected for her sexuality, she’s given up on earnestly pursuing Claire from the beginning. She doesn’t think she has a shot and she doesn’t want to risk being rejected. However, if she’s loud and obnoxious about her love for Claire, the inevitable rejection doesn’t hurt so much.

She makes it so Claire’s rejecting her for being a weirdo, not because she’s gay. If it's a joke, then when everyone laughs at it and dismisses it, it doesn’t hurt…and she can still be honest about and open about being gay. She can fool even herself and stay around Claire without any of that heartbreak and awkwardness that destroyed relationships the other times she confessed her love.

Rae's arc throughout the show is overcoming her assumption that Claire would be happier with a man and there's no point in earnestly courting her. She's so used to being degraded, she thinks it's impossible she could give Claire a good life and impossible that her real feelings will be accepted.

It doesn't excuse Rae's actions, but it does make her a very interesting character, and one that's meaningful to me as a lesbian. It adds surprising depth to a usually tired trope.

There's also some other interesting aspects of the anime, like how Rae simps for Claire but doesn't simp for her classism. She often gently challenges her on it, and the "commoner uprising" plot, while pretty weirdly paced and (temporarily) resolved, does treat the commoners sympathetically. Considering how other kinds of isekai regularly excuse shit like buying slaves, it's nice to see one that very much sympathizes with marginalized.

Though the commoner uprising plot does lead us to the other huge caveat with the anime- incest. Yeesh. There's a plot twist where it's revealed that side characters are in an incestuous relationship, and they're treated as tragic and sympathetic, they have a love that cannot be accepted, etc. The anime makes this worse by having Rae say "homosexuality isn't the only kind of forbidden love", which (unintentionally?) equates queerness and incest, which is something homophobes often do too. (The novels aren't innocent either, Rae laments "Why can't people be free to love who they want" at one point in a way that less explicitly equates the two things). However I was able to stand this because it's mainly executed as a plot twist. We don't get any details about the character's relationships, we barely see them even stand next to each other, and they're out of the plot fairly quickly. I can absolutely see this being a deal breaker for someone less numb to anime bullshit through.

And finally, a character comes in who acts fairly manipulative and skeezy towards Rae herself, though the drama she does stoke is great stuff.

So yes, I mean it when I say it has problems! But I find the fun shenanigans, blatant lesbian wish fulfillment, honest advocation for queer people, and the joy and earnestness of the series worth it enough I can grit my teeth through it all. It should also be noted that Inori, the author, is a trans lesbian, and that's another big reason why this is so special to many people-- it's a lot easier to forgive a new author for some uneven writing when she has a stake in telling queer stories.

The anime is obviously one that doesn't have a lot of resources (and I missed some of Rae's interior monologue, which gets more into what a nerd girl she is) but it does a decent job with what it had (though I would have liked it to condense or cut some of the magic duels and Rae doing harassment to focus more on the stories strengths, but alas). I have my fingers crossed for a second season, but the yuri don't tend to get those, so I'm not holding my breath.

Is ILTV's pacing sometimes weird? Yes, the commoner uprising doesn't get as much attention as it should. Is it sometimes clumsy? Oh yes. Do I still get a joy like no other when Rae kicks aside the screen prompting her to choose a male interest to yell for Claire instead, or when she fantasizes about herself and Claire being warriors together? Hell yes.

ILTV is often silly, often flawed, but you know what, queer people get to have our silly, flawed, but still occasionally touching stories as well. Straight people have has a monopoly on it too long. It's not a series for everyone, but it's a series that spoke to some struggling queer people regardless, and it's a series that makes me smile, and that's all that matters at the end of the day.

#i'm in love with the villainess #wataoshi #i favor the villainess #watashi no oshi wa akuyaku reijou #rae taylor #claire francois #anime overview #my reviews #fall 2023 anime #yuri

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charcubed · 11 months

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I'm curious, what are the main reasons why Dean is your favorite canon bisexual in media? Love your meta and that video btw

Ooooo, anon, thank you for the kind words and for giving me an excuse to talk about my love for bisexual icon Dean Winchester <3

I'm going to be really annoying (sorry) and quote part of my meta first. It summarizes and articulates many of my thoughts on this. And then to further answer your question I'll add a bit under it!

From the very beginning, Dean Winchester has been a character tied to classic elements of American masculinity. He was introduced with a superficial veneer involving those elements, but almost immediately the early episodes provide a look at the complexity of his character underneath it. Over the years, that complexity was further explored, and he came to embody a study in things society would often have us think should be incompatible contrasts: the gruffness and grit of hunting life and its associated masculine iconography, paired with his open and deep emotional care for the world; unabashed love for classic rock, superheroes, and horror movies, as well as unabashed joy connected to TV dramas, chick flicks, and childhood favorites like Scooby-Doo; life on the road with a muscle car, but the desire for a home base with creature comforts he can make his own; motivation to always help people, but the clear longing for balance with personal domesticity and relaxation so he could save not only others but also himself.

As a whole, his character functions as an effective deconstruction of toxic masculinity and stereotypical American heroism. And while much of Dean’s most masculine traits and interests are said to come from his father’s influence, part of his journey is loving those parts of himself on their own merit not because he ever had to but because he wants to. He is not his father, and he redefines those valued parts of his identity so they are his and his alone. He also crucially learns to recognize and joyfully embody that those masculine traits were never all that he had to be, working through and overcoming shame and hesitancy along the way. The result? He’s “good with who he is.”

He and the audience are encouraged to see that there are no rules his identity and interests must subscribe to, on a micro or a macro level. The message is to disregard predetermined destiny or duty. Free will means his life is his to determine, his family can be what he makes of it and how he defines it, and what he needs and wants do not ever have to be mutually exclusive. Dean’s journey is about freedom from outwardly-imposed limitations–whether those limitations come from his father’s example and the God altering his story, or from the pervasive societal ideals and network/executive interference outside of it. Dean can and should contain multitudes, all at once.

In this way, Dean’s story is a powerfully queer narrative that acts as metacommentary. In the fullness of its execution, it is also specifically a deeply bisexual narrative.

The not-so-hidden truth is that Dean is canonically a bisexual man. His story was afforded something that’s rare for most characters and almost nonexistent for queer ones: fifteen years of lengthy, nuanced development.

[...]

Again: Dean’s identity journey is about how he can and does contain the capacity for multitudes, and it’s part of what makes him such a compelling character. He can like “this” and “that.” He can be attracted to women and men. Or, as writer Ben Edlund and director Phil Sgriccia said in a DVD commentary, Dean has “the potential for love in all places.”

I wanted to include the above verbatim because it spells out something specific: Dean's narrative is bisexual in its bones. Supernatural evolved to become a queer text, but the specific ways the show and Dean as a character evolved are very intertwined with and informed by the fact that Dean is a masculine bisexual man. SPN is a story that was not meant to be about being queer, but as it became about freedom through free will, those themes were then leveraged and emphasized in connection to queerness because of Destiel. And by the end, the free will narrative and Dean's journey as a bi man are utterly inseparable, because Dean's fight for true freedom is tied to his love for a man and their untraditional family in a way that higher forces are trying to hinder.

You cannot cut out or edit or remove Dean's bisexuality from the story, or several narratives and plot lines (not just Destiel) would at minimum be misunderstood or at maximum fall apart. And yet, simultaneously? Dean's bisexuality is also far from being the sole important thing about his character because he is written with such nuanced complexities and across so many years of material.

Of course, add onto this the overall unique situation that surrounds Supernatural as a piece of media. People talk at length about how there will never be anything like it again, including me; that's obviously true from multiple different angles and for multiple different reasons, with Destiel being prime amongst them. But a related yet distinctly significant branch of that topic is there will never be another bisexual character who is written and evolves quite like Dean.

Was Dean supposed to be bisexual from the very start, out of the mind of Kripke? Who can know for sure, but probably not. Were certain writers and members of production deliberately putting more queercoding and subtext into Dean's character/story from the very start? Who can know for sure, but potentially yes, and certainly the answer becomes unarguably definitely yes the farther you get into the show. That's part of my love and passion for him too, because all of that is deeply unique and incredibly cool.

Dean's bisexuality evolved in a way that (against all odds) actually feels organic, seamless, and like it's simply a part of his character that's been there all along. The effect when you look at Supernatural as a whole body of work is that Dean's always been bi, and his expressions of and acknowledgements of that part of him ebb and flow depending on situation–which is a very relatable notion for many queer people. And as those writing the show became more committed and certain about that piece of who Dean is, so did he, in nuanced and subtle ways skillfully embedded into his story by design. It's bafflingly, impressively cohesive; gives him an incredibly realistic feel; matches his overall character growth; and rings true to his demographic, age, personality, and experiences.

Dean and his story and the situation(s) surrounding both are simply incomparable, and that will be true forever ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

...also. Well. I simply love him, y'know? For even more reasons unconnected to this. How can you not, right? :')

Thank you for asking, and thanks for reading this bi Dean manifesto!

Putting my video that you mentioned here for anyone who's not watched it:

youtube

My new magnum opus, please stream, etc.

(or watch on Tumblr here)

#bisexual dean winchester #dean is bi #bi dean meta #bi dean winchester #dean winchester is bi #supernatural #spn meta #char writes things #God I LOOOOOVE HIIIIMMMM #dean #anonymous #yes I used like 5 dean is bi tags. I'm valid. leave me alone

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bougiebutchbinch · 6 months

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I think I've finally nailed down my biggest issue with the OFMD fandom.

It's important to represent queer joy and a struggle-free queer life in fiction, full of people who accept themselves for who they are. It's great to see queer characters living and loving happily, without self-hate.

Queer struggles are important too, and should be represented.

Those who struggled - often for years, while facing a horrifically repressive society that many of us young'uns cannot appreciate - to come to terms with their queerness have worth. Those who were afraid to come out, for whatever reason, deserve representation too.

Likewise, it's important to represent disabled joy and a struggle-free disabled life in fiction - for all sorts of disabilities, but especially for those who have congenital issues that they may not consider disabilities, as they don't inherently cause deleterious side-effects like chronic pain or fatigue (i.e., many d/Deaf folks and folks with facial differences. Not so much a 'knee brace' that is literally just fanon. Don't give writers credit for creating a disabled main character if they refuse to acknowledge him as such, and his 'aid' was literally a fashion accessory that he gives to his boyfriend at one point to complete his 'look' when they're dressing up as each other. Signed: someone who actually wears knee braces lmaooooo)

But guess what.

Disabled struggles are important to represent, too.

For many of us in the (incredibly diverse and varied) disabled community, disability hit us like a truck of bricks. I went from being an incredibly fit and active young person, to being a young person who often literally cannot move their legs, because they're stuck partially out of socket at the hip and any movement is agony, or because my spinal problems mean they're spasming so hard that walking is impossible, or they're simply unable to hold my (very light) weight. A lot of us are in a significant amount of pain that able-bodied people cannot even imagine, day after day after day. A lot of us were traumatised by our disabilities. A lot of us took a long time to accept and love ourselves.

Our disabilities aren't loved. They're horrific. They're hated. They're something we continuously will be struggling with throughout our lives.

And we deserve rep, too.

And we will be upset, when that rep follows an arc that greatly mirrors what a lot of us go through, only to still say they want to die.

When a show has lots of queer rep and disabled rep, that's great. But you have to ask: what types of queer and disabled rep are they showcasing? What types are they allowing to live? What types of queer/disabled rep do they consider to have 'served their narrative purpose' when they finally attain a stage of queer/disabled joy and self-love that the other characters are on? What message does that send?

Your fave show is not above criticism, especially from the marginalised groups it is trying to represent.

#ofmd #ofmd critical #our flag means death #izzy hands #the izcourse #ed teach #edward teach #ofmd meta #LAST ONE I PROMISE

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thrashkink-coven · 24 days

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this may seem like a weird question, and if this comes across as disrespectful i apologize. but, could lady aphrodite be - well - a man? could they appear to a devotee of theirs as male instead of female? i know spirits' appearances are fluid and change depending on who, when, where, what, and so on, but, is it possible that they ever change their gender? i've never seen anybody mention it, and, aphrodite doesn't feel female to me, instead they feel as a gender-reversed version of themself.

DID YOU MEAN APHRODITUS ?!

Lol I love this topic. Yes! You are not confused in feeling a male or masculine energy in Aphrodite. There’s a LOT of really cool history that goes into the archetype of the God(dess) of Venus and love and war, but to make a very long story short, Aphroditus (or Aphroditos) was the male Aphrodite originating from Amathus on the island of Cyprus and celebrated in Athens. He was later then syncretized with the offspring of Aphrodite and Hermes, Hemaphroditus. Different interpretations may or may not consider them to be the exact same entity. What we do know is that both Aphroditus and Hermaphroditus are always portrayed with an androgynous, intersex, or transsexual body, a mix of female and masculine traits and anatomy.

It’s widely accepted that Aphrodite/ Aphroditus is derived from the Mesopotamian Goddess Inanna/Ishtar. Inanna is a very important deity in regards to gender and sexuality, as she was the Goddess known to transform men into women and women into men. She was the patron of transgendered, intersex, and nonbinary people, and her holy priests and priestesses were very queer! She was portrayed with a beard, breasts, basically whatever she wanted lol, as she was believed to be the origin of queerness itself. All bodies, male, female, or something in between, are capable of exercising the joy of Inanna!

In general, the energy that we receive from Venus has always seemed to be inherently queer, gender bending, and fluid, which makes sense for the planet of love- love for others as well as love for the self! It transcends our traditional understanding of gender and sex and shows us how all of these identities are beautiful and powerful.

People often associate Aphrodite very highly with females vagina power, which she totally does embody to the max of course, but she also very much represents love for the self that transcends the flesh. She has always been the biggest ally to transmascs and femmes. In some interpretations, the God(dess) may be trans and queer themselves.

As a trans man myself, I personally view Lord Lucifer as an Aphroditus, the beautiful son of an Aphrodite. The divine masculine aspect of Venus that exists within the divine feminine. Combined with his values of self love, luxury, freedom, knowledge, and the courage to be your most authentic self, I see Lucifer, Aphroditus and Aphrodite as the pillars of queer divinity.

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mdhwrites · 4 months

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Do you think the Owl House writes good romance queer or otherwise?

NO. ABSOLUTELY NOT... but also SLIGHTLY yes.

Like a lot of TOH's writing, its romance writing suffers the same problem: Great concepts and initial presentation but a lack of ideas, focus or proper follow through means that it is kneecapped once the easy, flashy parts of writing the romances is over. The problem is that this is further compounded by the fact that this is EASILY the field in which TOH is the most willing to use cheap tropes so as to allow for simplicity of storytelling which conflicts with the rest of the storytelling. All of this makes the writing of the romances in TOH a PROBLEM.

Let's start, obviously, with Lumity. They are literally a Hallmark couple. That is not exaggeration or a metaphor. One of them is a plucky, small town person who believes in emotions and the present and that all that really matters is that the joy of things is kept alive. Meanwhile, the other is a big city slicker who was raised to care about pathetic things like financial security, her future and making sure that they're still going to have a roof over their head in the future. Over the course of their journey, the city slicker will realize that everything they believed is bullshit, that having ambition is terrible and have pretty much all of their personality traits scrubbed away so they can see things the way the small town person does and then the movie ends.

But... the show didn't end with Lumity getting together and the fact that this was using Hallmark's model gets REALLY obvious. The model requires that the serious one entirely abandon their desire, personalities and commonly their friends and family even, sometimes even their romantic partners. It's an extreme way to show character development and devotion. A show of how much they care for the other lead which is usually meant to be some amount of audience surrogate. That's not good for a character though, as desires/connections often form much of a basis for a character's motivations, and so suddenly the show is scrambling to give Amity a supporting cast to interact with and desires beyond Luz. However, because Luz is her only desire, again following this model, she always abandons those characters and desires to go back to Luz. Luz is still her true core focus in Reaching Out. She doesn't mention Alador in For the Future. This devotion honestly gets so bad over time as to become DISTRESSING because it is not a sign of a healthy relationship. Your partner should not be the only thing you appear to actually care about in this world.

Even if you don't want to accuse them of being a Hallmark model, they aren't anything new and some of their tropes are simply not good. A lot of works will have the quirky, silly guy get with the serious one in the cast. It's a classic pairing but one that's usually handled pretty awkwardly since it usually includes some amount of what comes down to harassment from the quirky member of the cast. Literally sexual harassment if you got with Inuyasha's pairing of Miroku and Sango. This is often because the quirky one sees the other as a challenge or the like and wants bragging points for being able to crack their shell. But of course, TOH would never include something like that. Luz is a good girl and would never declare something like, I dunno, "Maybe I can befriend her like Azura did her rival?"

Yes. That is an actual quote from the show. From Lost in Language where eventually Amity sees Luz's quirky nature as charming rather than trouble and the two finally get cohesion due to Luz's efforts to save Amity's life, which is actually not abnormal for any couple in an adventure show to have be when their attraction starts, let alone this sort of pairing. Again: The show does nothing new here... But why should that matter? I LIKE Hallmark movies after all despite their flaws. They can be fun and charming, even as they make incredibly questionable choices.

Well, part of the problem is that the tone and ego of TOH doesn't match with storytelling that revels in cheats like Hallmark does. Understanding Willow is just one of MANY examples of the show claiming it won't use narrative shortcuts, especially in relationships between people. You know, only a couple episodes before it uses the shortcut from Hallmark of Amity throwing away connections consequence free in Winging it Like Witches. Then, four episodes after that, doing it again in Escaping Expulsion. TOH claims to be more maturely paced than that though. That these are real characters with long term arcs and that they are people, not props. But... The Hallmark model uses mostly pretty cheap props. It needs to for its life as a popcorn movie and for how simple its stories are. Just as an example: Murder might be farther than most antagonists in Hallmark movies but rampant greed and not caring about others to a cartoonish level? Yeah, that's there in those and it's there in Alador and Odalia. These two approaches are simply incompatible and I do not blame anyone, myself included, who thought the show was claiming that there would be more to Amity's character than simple obstructions that had to be moved away and biopsied out of her for the sake of being a love interest.

Now, real quick tangential shout out: My favorite Hallmark style movie, even if it technically isn't one since it's not by Hallmark, is Last Christmas. Yes the one based on the song. It's not perfect but it's a lot more unique in my opinion than most and like... If I can say it still fits the Hallmark style, perfection was already left at the door. Charm and fun though? There in spades.

But, getting back on track, Lumity isn't the only romance in the show.

Raeda, like Lumity, presents a strong, classic romance pairing to begin with as well. The wild outlaw and the more rule abiding loyalist but with the neat twist that age has actually brought them to being much closer in viewpoints. As such, it's more the girl who fits in and so knows how to be a rebel and the nice person who is trying to branch out and push boundaries now. They balance each other well but their conflict is immediately understood. The care is also easy to understand, let alone once you know that the curse and the lies tore them apart.

But... Then S2B begins. Now see, with their backstory, you'd actually expect Raine to have some issues with Eda. Some potential trust problems and the like but... Nope. Their entire being is dedicated to the woman who lied to them and then ran from them rather than being honest with them. Like mentor like student I guess. However, Raine doesn't seem to care. Their relationship is 100% fully mended by the end of Eda's Requiem and everything Raine does, he does for Eda effectively despite there not actually being any reason given by them besides personal desire. Maybe they just don't want Eda possibly dying and abandoning her kids? Don't know because it's entirely left to interpretation.

Worse yet, Them's the Breaks goes even farther and makes it so that Raine is just a clone of Eda. A wild child who wants to break the rules and tell everyone to stuff it. They're just, you know, smarter about it than Eda. Not even that they need a push but just that they're better at hiding it. Neither this nor the devotion makes them interesting and like Amity for Lumity, their character vanishes and the romance at best becomes boring.

And finally Huntlow which... From a romance perspective it's nothing. It's not even to say that it doesn't exist but it's almost literally what a tacked on Romantic D PLOT would be. A couple cute looks, a handful of small exchanges and now they're soulmates. That's really it. Huntlow takes up an exceptionally small amount of time of the story and the time it takes up isn't used serving it explicitly but more to erase any memory of the fact that Hunter is a trained murderer who is VERY willing to execute people who get in his way. Stranger Tides proved that after all.

They're inoffensive but even with that said, they're not good. Hunter loses all of his edge while Willow is so forceful as to almost come across as a bully at times during Sport in a Storm (remember, she literally won't take no for an answer and kidnaps him when he won't listen to her). This does make him look weaker and smaller but it doesn't make either one interesting. In fact, it just reinforces how this isn't a romance built off mutual like and chemistry. It's there because... It's just there. I guess Willow is nice to him once but so is Luz and Amity and he never starts being attracted to them. It's Willow pretty much because she's the one available to date and nothing else.

It's weak and it's nothing I care about, built on two of the most inconsistent characters in the entire show. They're genuinely the easiest for me to imagine genuinely being happy together and being just a nice couple, instead of one being in charge over the other, but that's because they're boring. I imagine Hunter as Ned Flanders as an adult just to drive home the point.

So yeah, I'm confidant to say these aren't good romances. Meanwhile, the characters bend for the sake of the romances instead of the romance being properly based on their dynamics, critical elements to characters are discarded for the ease of them getting together and while we might get some cute moments, they have no depth or oomph to them and are only good when dealing with the wonders of a relationship and not its difficulties which are often the far more compelling parts of a relationship. If you want to know how it handles the difficulties of romance... *stares at how Luz spends the second half of the series lying to her girlfriend despite making a promise to be more open at the end of Falls and Follies* Yeah, it's really fucking shitty. If you compare the conversation Amity and Luz have at the end of Covention compared to their conversation before the Grom Tree in Reaching Out, it becomes REALLY clear just how far both of them have fallen, as well as their chemistry. I have quite literally spent multiple blogs talking about how Reaching Out is the death of Lumity for me, a SUPREME Lumity shipper if the probably close to a million words based on them between original and fan works isn't enough to prove it, and I don't feel like going hard on it here.

But hey, it wasn't ever meant to be a romance. Dana said so herself. It just, you know, takes up literally a third of the show. That's not hyberbole. Amity takes up seven episodes of S1. She takes up six of S2 while Raeda, which ends up being pointless because everything they do doesn't matter, takes up two episodes of S2, and that's if you don't include Falls and Follies as either a Raeda or Lumity episode which it could be claimed for both. Huntlow is a part of Hunter's arc at the expense of having it be TEN EPISODES since he interacted with Luz when Hollow Mind comes up and SHE is the one there for his character's big turn.

For a genre that the show supposedly wasn't about, it sure is prioritized over ANYTHING else. Amity and Luz literally have more plot lines together than Eda and Luz. You know, the two who are pitched as the twin main characters. Mentor and student. The two who will beat Belos together arguably. Yes, King is there but if you think Luz spends too little time with Eda, just imagine what that ends up looking like if you look too closely at Luz and King's time spent together.

And that is an element of romance writing. How does the romance serve the plot and theme. How can you make it important. Amity, Raine and Willow are all non-important to the story, especially when compared to their partners. None of them ever help push the plot forward minus Raine and again, their contribution ends up being pointless. Willow at least arguably enacts some character growth on Hunter but Hunter isn't actually that important to the story, just his relationship with Belos and his backstory. As for Amity? It literally was a meme that nothing important could happen with her around and she has literally no impact on Luz's character ever. If she did, Luz might not have LIED TO HER FOR HALF THE SERIES.

Their contributions to the finale highlight this all too well. They're just effectively background characters. Not even interacting with their partners but just doing what everyone else is doing. Their connections don't matter. Their lessons don't. They don't matter to this story.

Which you know what? Even in a Hallmark movie, the serious lead's turn to becoming bland usually coincides in them, having been persuaded by their love for the quirky other lead, to swoop in and save the day. The effect that love and connection and what not wins out. The relationship is at least part of why there is a happy ending.

When your romance is more pointless, and at best just as charming as, a HALLMARK ROMANCE, I think I can pretty firmly say you aren't good at romance.

======+++++======

I have a public Discord for any and all who want to join!

I also have an Amazon page for all of my original works in various forms of character focused romances from cute, teenage romance to erotica series of my past. I have an Ao3 for my fanfiction projects as well if that catches your fancy instead. If you want to hang out with me, I stream from time to time and love to chat with chat.

A Twitter you can follow too

And a Kofi if you like what I do and want to help out with the fact that disability doesn’t pay much.

#the owl house criticism #toh critical #Lumity #Raeda #Huntlow #The Owl House #TOH

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dallonwrites · 2 months

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lover boy - wip (re)intro

How do you navigate love after losing the person you loved the most?

I realised I don't like writing WIP intros where I just list everything super neatly + have a nice official summary so I am just going to infodump!! Lover Boy is an Adult Literary/Historical novel set in the late 1980s that follows a gay man's navigation of love, sexuality, community and grief after losing his best friend to AIDS. It's inspired by my own experiences of grief + caretaking and the dissertation I did on grief in queer AIDS narratives. It follows Beau, my beautiful special boy, and is like patchwork quilt of all of his avenues of love -- romantic, sexual, platonic, familial, communal, self -- that is stitched together with the grief from this one major loss. This is paralleled with chronological flashbacks telling the story of Bobby's illness, and how Beau took care of him.

Beau and Bobby are best friends who were platonically in love with each other, who had to adapt their relationship as Bobby got sicker and Beau became his caretaker, and in the midst of this adversity became closer than ever. Beau is a lover of love in all ways, who thinks the best holidays Halloween and Valentines Day, who loves sex but is bad at not falling in love afterwards, who has a soft heart, who also has a massive crush on George Michael. Bobby loved his life, his friends and going to the club with them, scenic hikes and swimming, his pet snake named Judas, leather and heavy metal and activism and also the Muppets (his fave was Gonzo btw). He was obsessed with volcanoes and wanted to be a volcanologist. And Beau misses him so much!!! He is trying to understand what his life is now after losing such a big part of it. He is trying to understand what kind of love he wants. He also is trying really hard not to fall back in love with his ex boyfriend who is back in the picture. And he is not really doing any of this well!!

Other features of this novel:

Gay + Autistic protagonist who doesn't know he is autistic but his special interest is horror movies and it shows (favourites are anything monstrous + full of bloodsoaked practical effects. Favourite of all time is The Lost Boys). Beau literally looks towards horror movies to try and understand grief and loss

Protagonist is a guy who actively wants to be haunted and is looking for any signs of ghosts

Lesbian + Gay + Bi + Trans + everything solidarity. An honouring of that history. Exploration on how the AIDS crisis shaped and reshaped community and identity because well, I did an entire dissertation on it and I am not putting that to waste!!! It is interesting and important!!

A narrative that is brutally honest about grief and death, and all the ways it is messy and complicated. A narrative that also doesn't always take itself seriously because sadness and joy are always holding hands

Narrative that plays around with form (video transcripts, letters, journal entries, descriptions of art) and POV (past + present tense blended together, third person present that often dips into second)

Exploration of caretaking on a community level and an intimate, one to one level. Look into how love is often all the little ways we help each other hold on.

Exploration of disability and sickness and how it shapes your identity, your relationship with yourself and others, especially when you're young (I also have a novella planned actually exploring this from Bobby's POV, but you didn't hear that from me!!!!)

The idea that grief never gets smaller, just your life grows around it

The idea that you can love your friends!!! You can be in love with them!! And that love is no "lesser" than romantic love, and it is just as beautiful and big and bright. Even when Beau navigates romantic relationships, these aren't put on a pedestal above any other type of love

A golden retriever named Atlas (Beau's own beautiful, special boy)

This is a personal project that I'm not publishing, but it means a lot to me so I will talk about it a lot!!! I've been playing around with it in its current form for about a year now and am finally making a dent in an actual first draft. My want is to share long, in depth pieces about how I navigate writing a story like this somewhere like Substack, and also all the fun of drafting it along the way. Expect infodumps and excerpts!!!

#i still dont know how tf to make a wip intro!!! posting this like ahhh so scary!#i will be honest i am not in a social media mood recently but it is literally beau's favourite day #so i don't know when i will post something for this but hopefully soon!!!#wip intro #what even are the writeblr tags these days #writeblr #amwriting #??#lover boy #there IS another wip intro for this in that tag but it is mildly outdated!!!

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