#official crab post | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

haikyuupaladin · 10 months

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TLDR; don’t give tumblr money until they start making visible improvements towards accessibility

I’ve seen a few posts around about something people are calling crab day where you’re supposed to gift the crab button to your mutuals to support Tumblr financially. Please don’t participate in this unless Tumblr starts making noticeable improvements towards accessibility between now and then. It’s been 5 months of me trying to get the bare minimum of accessibility for photosensitive users or even just find out who I can talk to to get anywhere, and Tumblr is refusing to make any changes.

@photomatt has doubled down on the suggestion that you should just pay for ad-free or install an ad-blocker instead of listening to any of the suggestions photosensitive users have repeatedly made. Please do not give money to Tumblr until they show a commitment to accessibility because they will continue to ignore our requests if it doesn’t impact them financially.

Some of the requests we’ve made are:

1. Allow us to disable autoplay on browser as well as the app. This is an accessibility feature, not a data-saving feature, and should be treated as such.

2. Include ads in disabling of autoplay, along with other formats that currently get around the autoplay feature. Currently even if you have autoplay disabled you can still end up with flashing lights in your face every few posts from ads.

3. Improve the reporting process for strobing ads. The quick reporting process doesn’t provide good options to ensure the person reviewing the report realizes that it’s being reported for flashing lights so you have to hope they agree it’s either malicious or offensive and don’t just brush you off as abusing the report function. The more complicated reporting process involves getting a screenshot and the link that the ad brings you to, which requires lingering on the ad, which if you’re trying to report the ad for your safety, is dangerous. You can also still get the same ad 10 times a row after reporting it until it’s been reviewed. Which again, presents a danger to users.

4. Add a community label for flashing lights. Flashing lights are commonly untagged or mistagged, even sometimes maliciously. It would be extremely helpful to the photosensitive community to be able to add a warning to a post that doesn’t have one.

I’ve talked a lot about the photosensitive community in this post because that’s what I have personal experience with and what @photomatt has explicitly come out and just said to buy ad-free about, but there are definitely other accessibility issues that need to be addressed as well (like the alt text function needing improvements to make it accessible to users who need it and don’t use screenreaders, or the fact that a lot of tumblr official stuff still doesn’t seem to use the alt text feature themselves). Please feel free to add on accessibility issues I’ve missed in the reblogs.

#crab day #epilepsy #actually epileptic #disability #photosensitivity #accessibility #tumblr safety #disability pride month

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mevweasley · 1 year

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every day we stray further from God

#10000 posts #tumblr milestone #officially not normal anymore #literally tumblr brainrot #i need therapy like real therapy #the dancing crabs after posting this are so cute

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fishpostings · 5 months

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you know what? fuck it. im going to fight every nautical poster on this site. @official-crab-posts is the latest on my list. fight me in the tournament for most nautically awesome posts.

#fish thinks

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chipper-skeleton · 2 years

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GUIDELINES FOR

1: No doxxing, no bullying, no death threats. Such cowardly acts are UNBEFITTING OF THE SKELETON WAR

2: If a wizard casts a spell you must follow it. If they cast “turn undead” you must flee, unless you’re a heckin big boi. If a wizard casts “nuclear fire blast” then you’re dead. If a wizard casts the penis shrinking spell then YOU CAN LAUGH IN THEIR FACE BECAUSE SKELETONS DONT HAVE PENISES

3: If you blaze skeleton war post, link back to this original post with guidelines to OFFICIALLY DRAFT MORE SOULS INTO THE SKELETON WAR

why should I support the skeleton war?

Wouldn’t you rather see tumblr community nonsense instead of corporate brand pandering? Tumblr is one of the last true remnants of the old internet before everything became soulless algorithmic husks. Yeah its cringe sometimes, but its our cringe.

Hosting a social media website is not profitable, so thats why dev teams turn to advertisers, because our information and attention becomes their only product they can sell. If the community can invest in tumblr through blazed posts then we can get more frog elections and crabs and less fake friendly corporate bs.

its after halloween, isnt it a bit late for the sk-

THE SKELETON WAR IS UNBOUND BY YOUR MEAGER MORTAL REVELRIES

HOW DO I PARTICIPATE (AND NOT PARTICIPATE?)

#skeleton war #everyone wants to see the skeleton war come back #so we must make it come back #skeletons #skeleton

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zipperkiller · 4 months

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Gotta get back to my roots and start posting crab memes again

@starcoffinxd @official-crab-posts @waste-mixture

#it’s crab time #stolen memes #crustaceans #memes #crab #meme #sea life

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wifegideonnav · 1 month

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#op #boop #april fools #april fools day

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official-crab-posts · 3 months

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for the purposes of this blog do hermit crabs count as crabs?? because if so. Coenobita Purpureus, the Okinawan blueberry hermit crab

my profile picture is a hermit crab so i would sure hope they count lol (i also establish rules about what i count as a crab in my pinned post if anyone hasnt read that)

the okinawan blueberry hermit crab!! what a delightful friend. i will share a blueberry pie with them.

look at them. do they not deserve a delicious blueberry pie.

#official crab ask #this is an ask about crabs #the crab speaks #you guys should read my pinned post its funny. i think im funny at least. not always but sometimes. including in my pinned post crab rules.

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professorcalculusstanaccount · 1 year

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he’s the adult supervision, he’s the voice of reason, he’s a cringefail king, it’s Captain Haddock! Quite a few people asked for a timeline post for Haddock after I posted one of Tintin.

I found the whole idea of the Haddock family curse to be very interesting, and the implications behind it to be pretty dark... cw for alcoholism and childhood abuse. Let me know if you need anything tagged.

To figure out the timeline the evidence for Haddock’s age I found was in an animated adaptation of Explorers on the Moon where Haddock mentions he has around forty years of sailing experience. I doubt he was running around on ships as a newborn so that places his age during the canon comics at around 60ish, give or take a few years, which in my timeline places his childhood during the late Victorian era!

Left to right, top to bottom:

Child - Archibald Haddock had a pretty rough childhood and family life. The legacy of the “Haddock family curse” weighs heavily on him, and so does the alcoholism that runs generationally. His father is often drunk, taking his anger and frustration out on Archibald. Fully believing the family curse, Archibald’s father drills the idea that he is destined for failure into his head.

Archibald’s only respite is his grandfather, who tells him stories of Sir Francis Haddock and other tall tales from the sea. His grandfather also would take him out on fishing trips, the lochs and the sea being his refuge.

Teenager - It’s the 1880s and Archibald is left aimless after his grandfather passes away, passing the time by hiding from his father and drinking during the day. He fully believes he has no real future and lets himself get swept up by whatever will come along next.

Young Adult - Archibald decides to follow in his grandfather’s footsteps and becomes a sailor, feeling at home at sea. He cleans up somewhat after befriending George Chester as the two train on the same merchant vessel. Chester drags a reluctant Archibald along into all kinds of crazy antics, with Archibald wanting to stay on the straight and narrow.

Archibald is drafted during the First World War, serving in the Grand Fleet. He is stationed at the Orkney and Shetland Islands with Chester.

Canon - After the war Archibald relapses on his addiction again, but is able to hold onto work in the merchant fleet. He eventually becomes a captain of a merchant vessel where his mental health issues are taken advantage of in the Crab with the Golden Claws.

Seeing his crew mutiny, kidnap (and attempt to murder) a boy on his ship was a major wake up call - Haddock is now imbued with a sense of responsibility for Tintin (even if Tintin seems to handle things better than Haddock!). He doesn’t understand what Tintin sees in him but he’ll be damned if he proves him wrong. He’s not above calling him an idiot when the time is right though.

Post Canon - After Tintin loses his job Haddock does his best to support him. He uses his wealth to further causes he believes in, donating money to artist collectives and scientific research that was repressed by fascist governments. Before Belgium even joins the Second World War he and the Marlinspike team proactively go out and foil various Nazi plots. Marlinspike Hall is firebombed by the Nazis in retaliation, but after the war Haddock funds various housing cooperative projects. Coming from a working class background he hasn’t forgotten the hardships a lot of people face.

Elderly - At this point Haddock is secure in his found family. He’s been living with his partner Ramo Nash, and has taken up various arts and crafts as hobbies. Looking back, he never expected to be a father, but is incredibly proud of Tintin. He never officially adopts him as a part of him still fears the family curse (plus they both agree “Haddock” as a name definitely does not suit Tintin)!

#fanart #tintin #adventures of tintin #captain haddock #archibald haddock #photoset #headcanon #historical fashion #alcohol #alcohol tw #abuse mention #nazism cw #death mention

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a-twistedheartslonging · 27 days

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*cough cough* so uh.... nonhuman jade??? I feel like he would frog blink at me

Either that or not blink at all/hardly blink, most fish don't have eyelids, and even though he and the other mers do it's not like they would need to underwater. Tbh Seb and Mal would prob do that weird blink.

Anyway, since He and Floyd are the same kind of creature, stuff from Floyd's post will be repeated.

He still has his ear and arm fins even with the potion. He can make his ear fins wiggle and droop and they will sometimes do it unconsciously, perhaps because of how he’s feeling or if he’s eating or sucking on something. Unlike Floyd, Jade will do his best to control it since that shows his emotions and he doesn't want others to be able to read him, though that's not to say he won’t do it on purpose like when he fake cries. The whole “being able to produce tears” thing wasn't something he could do until he got on land. Fish don't have or need tear ducts. Still, if it's just the two of you he might give a fin wiggle to hear you giggle, he be silly like that sometimes,

He can make the arm fins flare out and go down so he can get shirts on easier, and they will flare out when trying to be threatening.

Still keeps some of his eel coloring and stripes along with his claws. His hands start with that not-quite-white he has and become more of that green-blue going up.

His fingers have little bits of webbing and...are kind of creepily long.

Doesn’t blink as often as a human should and his eyes glow in the dark, along with his habit of staring it can be a bit startling.

Like his brother, is very instant on getting you in the water with him for some reason. If you can't swim, he'll offer to let you ride him. Though he is capable of outspending a broom you don't worry about him trying to zoom like Floyd, that doesn't mean he won't try to scare you in the water though. He may be more polite than his brother but he's still a little shit.

Has no belly button or nips.

Has a very strong interest in your feet and legs, especially with how…soft they are. In the official manga, we get to see that Floyd isn't the only touchy eel, though he isn't…rough about it like Floyd. Well, not as long as it's you. He loves to poke, squeeze, and rub them. Very very badly wants to bite but…he’s a gentleman. At least until you guys are together, and he has permission, expect to look like you got nabbed by a small shark then after.

He can't help but be fascinated by how different your body is, he really does want to study you, though funnily enough he gets a bit of stage fright if you try doing the same.

Is a fan of those small clawless hands. Seeing how they prune up when wet for too long, holding them and enjoying that soft warmth. He’s bigger than plenty of people but gets a special kick out of how big you make him feel.

His skin feels different from what humans have but isn't quite the same as when in his eel form. It's soft but also…thick. There’s no way you would be able to break his skin with your bite or scratches, dull little human nails and teeth can't do much. He would be pretty amused at you actually trying to bite him, how cute. It makes him want to tease you more and make you make you angry enough to try more. Still, if you do somehow manage to break skin he’s prepared, can’t have his little shrimp die of poisoning.

Along with eating fish, crabs, and octopus's moray also eat very toxic creatures and as a result, the blood and flesh of a moray are very toxic. They accumulate high levels of ciguatoxins, which can give humans ciguatera fish poisoning (CFP) if eaten. There will be times in a fight where he’ll get his blood on the guy on purpose and Jade has used his blood for…things before. Part of why Jade wants to test “special” mushrooms on others is because the poison won't affect him, and he wants to see how it affects others. Might poison you in small doses on purpose so you'll build up a tolerance.

A moray will often eat anything small enough to fit in its mouth and is capable of taking a chunk out of bigger fish. As a result, Floyd will also try to eat…not food things if he can fit it in his mouth. Luckily for you, Jade has more self-control than his brother so your small nicknacks are safe...for now.

Everything about you just triggers his prey drive. He really wants to bite you, chase you, squish you, put eggs in you, bite you some more. Really hates having to keep up his calm gentlemanly image at times.

Can open his mouth scarily wide and his teeth are longer than OG Jade's, so it's a bit harder for him to hide them like he would with those polite smiles he always has. Very long tongue, you've seen it when he totally wasn't trying to show it off to you. He was just enjoying that ice cream. Funny how you're the only one to get a good look at it though.

Has pharyngeal jaws which are a second set of smaller jaws located in the throat of the moray eel, behind the normal jaws in the mouth, complete with tiny teeth. This set of jaws gets launched into the mouth cavity during feeding, where it can grasp onto food, and pull it into the throat to swallow. Morays are unique in using their pharyngeal jaws to actively capture and restrain prey in this way.

Certain eels have been shown to be surprisingly affectionate with divers they recognize and enjoy petting, rubbing, and gentle hugs. Though a bit touchy, when in public he is nowhere near as touchy as Floyd. When alone? Just as bad if he knows you are comfortable with it.

His gills are still present so his rib area is a weak spot. Getting hit there would really hurt and really piss him off.

Is nocturnal and prefers dark places, especially when sleeping. He also likes being snug and wrapped up for sleepies. In the sea, he would like to sleep in small places with his brother and would love for you and him to share a sleeping bag when camping.

Moray have a spongy, sluggy texture from their lack of scales. To top it off, these fish are covered in a thick mucous layer. Believe it or not, mucous serves a very strong purpose in nature, typically providing a protective barrier over otherwise vulnerable layers of skin. Your stomach should have a thick mucous layer to protect it from the acids inside, and similarly, a fish without scales can make good use of this snotty, slimy substance to keep it safe from toxins and physical damage as it occupies its rocky habitat.

The green moray eel is actually brown under all the snot; it’s just covered in a thick green layer of mucous. In some species, this mucous is even toxic, making them a particularly nasty prey item. Luckily what Floyd and Jade have isn't the toxic kind and will make your skin pretty nice. Jade will use this in his favor to get more cuddles. Careful though, he may do what Floyd does and perform what is known as a slime attack by slapping someone in the face with his tail, it is very unpleasant to get in your mouth.

The smallest moray, the Snyder’s moray, is around 12cm (4.5in) long, and the largest is more than 3m (over 10ft) long and weighs up to 30kg. A huge moray eel in Indonesia has been witnessed feeding on sharks and I like to headcanon the tweels are pretty big in their mer form and not just because of tail length.

Morays actually have pretty bad eyesight and a keen sense of smell to make up for this and rely primarily on chemoreception such as smells and tastes to navigate their world. I do wonder if the twins need glasses but don't use them or maybe wear contacts.

Jade is very good at tracking you down by scent and likes it when you smell like him and him smelling like you. Though he loves cuddling and hugging you, it isn't just for affection. He’s giving you that eel stank, plenty of the others are weary around him and you smelling like him can help keep others away.

Unlike with Floyd Him leaving clothes at your place is never out of forgetfulness. He plans everything out. Insistes that you put on his coat when it’s cold out and drapes it on you before you can say no. Hoodies aren't usually his thing, but his ass bought some just for “forgetting” them at your place. They're actually some fancy name-brand ones. Still, even with his planning, he could not prepare himself with how good you looked in them…it was so big on you, and you looked so cute and now it smelled like you and….

The moray can form a true knot with its body, that it uses as leverage to pull on prey items like slippery fish. They can also use this method to create strong pressure to break food items into smaller pieces. It’s thought that the skill is passed on between individuals. So, if you want to escape eel cuddles…good luck but it's probably not going to happen. Even in his more human form his long arms and legs will be wrapped around you. Kinda funny thinking of the tweel's parents teaching them how to become living knots though.

Certain types of eels can change their sex. The leaf-nosed moray born male, transitions as they age, switching to female later in life. This transformation determines them as “sequential hermaphrodites” I like to headcanon that the tweens can also change sex or already have both in their mer form.

Morays can have around 10,000 eggs at a time, and when the larvae are hatched, the eels are fully translucent. I like to think the boys started out as tiny little things you can hold in your hand.

Regular eels do seem to have some courtship rituals. Some of which being displays of behavior, such as graceful movements and vibrant color changes and I already like that headcanon of the tweels being bioluminescent. Maybe he convinced you to come down to his dorm's special pool one night and decided to show off for you. Showing off that beautiful glow while doing these cool tricks in the water. A positive reaction will likely be taken as acceptance, so unless you tell him no, you will receive some wet slimy eel-loving.

Male eels may compete with each other for the attention of females showcasing strength and health to impress a potential mate. Welp, time for Jade to invite you to a hike and show off, expect to be carried after he makes up after walking into an area, something about the grounds stability and how only a seasoned hiker like him knows the proper steps to safety. Dude will lift up a whole ass dead tree trunk stuck in your path. Will also be even more of a menace towards the other guys.

Eels also release pheromones into the water to attract and communicate with potential partners but...hmm you're just a human and on land. With the others being beasts and all, they would be able to smell it easily and know to stay the hell away from him but would his little shrimpy notice? I think at most that if it's something that you can smell it probably just seems like Jade has just smelled a bit…musky lately. He is probably around you even more and keeps close to see your reaction to it. He probably gets sad if you tell him he stinky and takes it as you not wanting him. If you compliment it? Very happy eel time.

As for the rest of what he does, it's little things like bringing you food which is often cooked by him, little trinkets that made him think of you, and getting territorial around others. The latter usually ends up with him not bothering to hide his teeth as he “smiles” at whoever is talking to you, likely having his hand on your shoulder or waist while doing so.

#twst #twisted wonderland #twst x reader #nonhuman au #ask #asks #jade leech #twst jade #twisted wonderland jade

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prismatic-bell · 1 year

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So @hejeksbs saw that post about fandom olds freaking out about IWTV stuff being posted on the AO3, and said they’re new to fandom and fandom culture and don’t understand. So congrats, Hejek, you’re one of today’s lucky 10,000. This is going to be a basic primer, but I encourage others to chime in with details. (Also, thanks for reminding me I need an Interview exhibit in the museum. I had that written down somewhere.)

So if you go back to the 1990s and early 2000s—the pre-AO3 digital years—you’re going to see an official disclaimer on just about every fic. These basically said “I don’t own anything here, please don’t sue me.” Some were quoted elaborate.

These started because of Anne Rice.

See, Anne Rice was, how can I say this nicely…an asshole? The day she died there were literally people posting crab rave and “Ding Dong, The Witch Is Dead” from The Wizard of Oz on Tumblr. Because before Harry Potter fanfiction was pretty frowned upon and you might get a C&D if you didn’t keep your head down properly, but Anne Rice.

ANNE RICE.

Anne Rice literally recruited her “loyal fans” to harass people who made fanworks. At least one person was doxxed to her workplace by rabid Ricers, and at the time fanfiction was taboo enough you could absolutely get fired for that. I was eleven and friends with someone who was 13 who’d just read Interview and drew this wonky I-am-a-kid-who-can’t-really-draw-yet-but-I-loved-this-SO-MUCH piece of fanart of Louis and Lestat, and she literally dipped off the internet because she got an extremely nasty “I’m suing you” threat from Rice. (Are you out there, Mercury000? It’s me, sailorsharon0722.)

Anne Rice did everything in her power to ensure there was no IWTV fandom at all. I’ve heard from people older than me that she used to host a “vampire’s ball” every year in New Orleans for her “loyal fans” but if you showed up and she felt your costume outshone her own, she’d make you leave. People didn’t dare so much as put “Lestat” and “fanfiction” in the same sentence.

And then, irony of ironies, when her reputation got so bad she was struggling to sell books, she…became a Christian and started writing Bible fanfiction to sell.

Yeah.

Over the years there were claims she’d changed her mind about fanfiction, but nobody ever had evidence to back this up. I even saw a dude on Quora claiming to be a close friend of hers saying we were all lying, and he got absolutely ratioed by fans going “I still have my C&D letter, you wanna fucking try again?”

Incidentally, I would like to point out that her attitude wasn’t uniform. It’s easy to say “that’s just how it was,” but Neil Gaiman has been around since the 1980s and has always appreciated fanfiction. Stephen King’s approach is “please tell me, to my face, that me explicitly writing about Cthulhu isn’t fanfiction” and otherwise pretty lassez-faire (he has no interest in knowing you’re writing fanfiction of his stuff, he just genuinely doesn’t care), and his first book was published in the early 1970s. Gene Roddenberry, creator of Star Trek, actually accepted submissions of fanfiction scripts DURING THE SHOW’S ORIGINAL RUN, at least according to popular lore. (@dduane, can you check me on this?) Mercedes Lackey—who’s 1980s-and-1990s fantasy royalty—has been asked on Quora about why she “changed her mind about fanfiction” and her response was “I never changed my mind, I just had to talk my publisher into accepting it. I’ve always been okay with it but I had to say no because of my contract.” Sure, Diana Galbaldon was out there comparing fanfiction to rape(????), but even among those who disapproved of fanfiction, Rice’s attitude and actions were extreme. And they persisted into the 2000s, too, with her egging on fans who harassed and sent death threats to a YouTube reviewer who didn’t like one of her books.

AO3 changed ALL of that.

AO3 said “here is our well-researched legal claim that fanfiction is legal, and if someone gives you shit about works you have posted on our website, our lawyers will represent you. You can post safely here. It’s okay. We got your back.”

Even so, the fear about Anne Rice continued. And can you blame people? This woman’s name held the same power in fannish conversations as “Voldemort.” (A moniker by which I’ve actually heard her called.) She all but destroyed the old guard, on purpose.

….and then a new generation of fans happened. A new generation that didn’t remember life before AO3, had never known anyone who literally had to move house to get away from Rice’s minions’ threats and harassment. I know we use “nature is healing” as a joke on this website, but really truly, that’s what happened here. She left charred tree trunks and bushes that were old-school fans and from their ashes tiny little 2010s-fans seedlings began to grow.

The thousand-odd fics you saw in those screenshots (which I feel I should clarify are from before the new show came out—a show that must have her turning in her grave, because she was absolutely adamant that all her vampires were STRAIGHT and if you thought otherwise you were DISGUSTING, and I hope she spins so hard her corpse combusts) are absolutely shocking to us older fans because it’s like staggering out of a nuclear wasteland and spotting a little garden with signs saying “free nuclear-illness medical services” and realizing it’s real. What the fuck, what the fuck, but also, holy shit y’all we’re so proud of you. YES. Keep going. Don’t let the witch get you down.

EDIT: I’ve been informed by someone in the notes that IT ACTUALLY GETS WORSE:

I’m not going to transcribe the whole thing because I’m on mobile and most of it is just bog-standard post notes, but what’s relevant is @theoriginalvelocipastor saying “OP forgot the part where she [Anne Rice] would take ideas from fanfiction.”

Like holy motherFUCKER this woman’s hypocrisy.

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