#officially not normal anymore
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every day we stray further from God
#10000 posts#tumblr milestone#officially not normal anymore#literally tumblr brainrot#i need therapy like real therapy#the dancing crabs after posting this are so cute
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Sorry but how do you draw Howdy and Barnaby's body (as base I mean!) I've been having difficulties drawing their bodies so I was trying to see how you deal with it as a way to understand it quite a bit or give an idea to myself on how to do it! :'), of course only if you'd be fine with it!
they're both At An Angle and a bit. Off. but!!! this doesnt need to be perfect or straight or. anything but the intended purpose. and i haven't been drawing much, so i'm a bit rusty!
as with all things i just break em down into pieces to puzzle together. Howdy is very rectangular, Barn is all circles!
#normally howdy's base is a lot... Sharper for me#lots of straight lines!#i draw a bunch of planks and glue them together!#one Exercise i can Recommend#is to go back to their official images/refs#(if youre a digital artist) download em. lower the opacity. and sketch base shapes over it#it Will help you break them down into the right shapes and get a feel for proportions!#i do this a lot - not for them anymore im used to em - but i do it for like. horses and birds and fish and such#its a bit of a Study!#barnaby draws very very softly...#rambles from the bog#im sorry this looks wonky!#as i said im rusty#+ tired + very stressed so!!! Leniency Please lmao
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Zoids Mugen Liger - Supernova ZA (3rd party kit)
Finally built the Mugen, completing my Genesis Liger trio!
Another really great kit, I really enjoy the Supernova Zoids. For bootleg/3rd party kits, they go together really smoothly with minimal problems, and their quality is very consistent. I hope they continue to do Zoids designs, but in the meantime I've got their Sturm Tyrann and Feedom Freedom Wings in the backlog!
#Zoids#ゾイド#Mugen Liger#Mecha#plamo#Zoids Genesis#Model Kits#zoids models#auklaras zoids#Auklaras HMMs#At least we have the supernovas if Koto can't give us HMM Genesis Ligers#Kinda hoping they do a clear Fury at some point too#I don't normally like supporting bootlegs if the officials are available in some form#But in addition to adding their own flare the Supernova ZA haven't had any rubber parts which is a big bonus for me#I love my HMM Fury and Sturm but Fury can't even hold itself up anymore which makes me sad#Also hello its been almost a month I just haven't been feeling the social media need to post lol
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tell me, what makes a human?
#ffxiv gpose#ffxiv screenshots#ffxiv oc#gifs.#first official gpose of the yearrr#this is for kirke's no. 1 fan (thefreelanceangel)#this is the only time i'm glad for the blurriness. it adds to the creepiness of it and how you can't /exactly/ see what you're looking at#these were meant to be still images since it was vertical but i had the idea of doing a gif like i did for hector#kinda hard to see as a result but open for full size#so kirke's new lore centers around transhumanism. i'm currently redoing it and she's. this now#kirke's technically not 'human' anymore. she's a cluster of sentinent allagan nanites (made by amon) who takes over the brains of the dead#to combat decomposition she's been adding cyberkinetic addons to it overtime because she likes this body#it's hard to tell but her torso down to her pelvis has been replaced. no more flesh#'but kirke why not just make a new body from scratch?' where's the fun in that#and similar to yves she needs aether to animate her body; but instead of needing aether for consumption she uses it as a 'battery' to move#since she's a big cloud of nanites if she runs out of aether she will more or less 'die'#and it takes a lot more aether to move a dead body it takes less power to animate a robot body#she's like a deranged energizer bunny#it's not surprising that yves and kirke ended up together. he's her own charger#also didn't use her normal hair here because her eyes are integral#body horror cw#glitch cw#flashing cw#q.#mygposes.
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sorry for disappearing. I promised I wouldn't do that again but it's always the thing I fall back on in desperate times. idk how to stop doing that
I'm just so tired and in pain, I wanna lay down and cry and never get back up again
#wish i could cry. as it is the tears are pressing on my eyes but cannot come out. it hurts. i wish it wouldn't hurt#all i can do is sleep as much as i can whenever i can. no other way to escape it all#trying to plan my mental illness breakdown around my work hours so my coworkers don't have to worry#i actually like being at work and putting on a smile and acting bright and bubbly comes to me so easily#but i feel the tiredness creeping in. making work a bit more difficult and i don't like that#my brain is starting to merge dreams and reality in a way that hard to tell apart#it's also whispering evil things into my ear. like: you're not mentally ill there's no official diagnosis so better be sane and normal#or: you're making it all up. stop with that. just be normal. <- about literally every single thing#<- like me dealing with depression and anxiety and probably no small amount of trauma and gender dysphoria? NOT REAL according to my brain#which is. idk i KNOW i struggle with all of these things and there have been suspicion diagnoses#but no actual 100% confirmed diagnoses and that fact is fueling my brain in whispering these mean things to me#and i'm just so very very tired of it all... i don't want to fight anymore but i'm also too scared to take any kind of final action#sorry...#delete later
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WILLEL, BYLER, JARGYLE, AND MAX MAYFIELD NATION WE WONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN
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so today (12/30/22) marks the 10 year anniversary of me making a gijinka of clippy and literally altering the course of my life... i've talked in-depth about the specifics multiple times but that doesn't matter right now... what matters is Clippy is still one of my favorite characters of all time and i love him so much
#clipart#clippitag#i had no idea what to do w the background but i cant look at this anymore so just. take it.#fun fact! i was 17 when i designed my gijinka of him. and his gijinka's age was 22#i later changed it to 24 but now im. 27. im officially like. decently older than him#tho tbh if/when i ever revisit my like. story for him and the other OA's#i might make him closer to 30 based on how my 20's were... his character doesnt really work as well#anyway my life is completely different 10 years later which is wild to think about#but this funny paperclip man has helped me through a lot of it#also these days im more attached to Normal Clippy but human!clip is still really important to me
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rhys’ hair is so pretty omfg
i believe in blonde rhys darby supremacy
#i’m OBSESSED with his hair#head over heels in love with his hair#i want to see it#i want to touch it#i want to run my hands through it#(causally quoting falsettos my bad)#if you have anymore blonde rhys darby photos#please share 🙏🙏#our flag means death#rhys darby#totally normal about rhys darby tumblr association#rhys darby: official tumblr sexyman™#nz i want to fuck your dad#my post
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actually needing to buy new clothes for the first time since i was a teenager
#I CAN FIT IN NORMAL SIZED JEANS!!!! I DON'T HAVE TO WEAR CHILDREN'S CLOTHES ANYMORE!!!!! YIPPEEEEE 🎊#genuinely. i have been the same clothing size since i was about 12#everything i wore in middle school i was still wearing at 20#bc. clothes are expensive. so if i don't HAVE to replace them then why waste the money right#but now i officially cannot fit into all my old jeans which is SHOCKING to me#like I've literally had those jeans since the last time my dad painted the house. i still have the paint stains#that had to have been like 10 years ago now the paint is peeling Badly#and like. im finally a jeans size that i can actually find in stores#seriously finding 26w/28w jeans in physical stores where I'm actually allowed to try clothes on is a nightmare#but now I'm about 30w YIPPEEEEEE
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Con thoughts
#honestly I really appreciate the creator of my ex fandom trying to give me job opportunities but I think if I have to work in my ex fandom#the creator is really chill and awesome but#as an official artist I’ll try to overdose to die everyday#or at least if I don’t normalize before then#I need to normalize#I mean it’s not even like im currently being traumatized I just spiral#everything I interact with anything outside of my immediate interest circle#because everyone are like so lobotomized in there like I feel im a person among zombies#like how can you just be on a comedy show and have people laugh by just referencing stuff#I don’t get their humor their lack of appreciation for creative effort and their general mental attitude#they are so averse to engaging with anything that aren’t in your face with garish gaudy colors#it’s an ugly franchise and an artless thoughtless fandom#I feel like the opening scene of shizuku where im just siting among people who im utterly alienated to#thinking about the end of the world#I know I sound really whiny to my friends bc I was telling them about stuff but#also it's not like it's hard on me or anything I spiral kinda daily unprompted already it's just . wow it's not in my head only anymore#the insanity is irl.. it's just more surreal to have the zombies I would despise irl around me#it’s kinda despairing that what I like and who I am are utterly incompatible with the#hundreds of people surrounding me during the 3 days of this con#it's like the online fandom but real and more massive#I do kinda sound ungrateful that I'm going to a con and meeting the creator of my fave series is like . rare but also#MAN kinda a bummer I wish my fave character's VA is there so I can gouge his eyes out (joke) AHEM have a Polite conversation with him#because he played the character in the way I loathed (hammy) like I would ASK him to read the books the character is in .or I start gouging#but I am also having fun???#a white man mansplained my fave to me (who was wearing whole ass ita bag of my fave) bc he though he know more about him than me bc he read#the character's wiki entry . I love it it's surreal I feel like an older god . I can smite this man yet he yaps on unknowingly#I've drawn 2k+ fanart of this obscure deeplore character you've read on the wiki mr tenth doctor cosplayer white man#I can cast u into hellfire .. ? Mr white American man ..
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add “friday night parties” to the list of things I am NOT gonna miss about living in a dorm… I mean noisy neighbors were already on there but this specifically bothers me on so many levels
#see normally I’d just put on my noise cancelling headphones and it’d be whatever but#I am so determined not to fuck up my piercing#and I really don’t wanna tell them to shut up bc it sounds like they’re having fun and I’m in an especially too nice for my own good mood#and! I do genuinely earnestly want them to have fun. I am NOT a hater!! just bc I never got to do any sort of partying and never really#wanted to anyway doesn’t mean I’m gonna project that onto anyone else#but on the other hand friday nights specifically are sacred to me#as the first night of the weekend where I get to sleep in and the first night I don’t have to worry about assignments due the next morning#and also as a kind of religious thing#I don’t really observe shabbat anymore but I never was able to get used to the friday night = party time association#and I don’t particularly want to!! friday nights are for chillin and I like it that way.#anyway all this to say I am trying to enjoy my chill evening and there is NOISE and I’m not gonna do anything about it (at least#until Official Quiet Hours start) but I absolutely will complain#I convinced my mom to get a library card and give me the number so I can read books on libby#(would have gotten one myself but idk if I qualify for one at the library near my school and I’ll be gone in a few months anyway)#and now I am TRYING to read lockwood & co book 1#(yes it is technically a middle grade series. yes I am twenty two years old. if the show is anything to go by it’s a more accurate#portrayal of teenagers than any media I consumed as an actual teen. let me live)#but alas. The Noise#and yeah I know noisy neighbors are not exclusively a dorm thing but I can’t imagine a normal apartment will be nearly this bad#also to be clear this is not a weekly occurrence#I don’t actually think these particular neighbors have given me any issues before#which is part of why I’m feeling so patient with them… probably too patient tbh#I should probably delete this later#probably shouldn’t post it at all but oh well. what’s the point of life if you can’t share every minor annoyance with#a bunch of strangers on the internet?#screams into the void
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btw sorry for the influx of negative posts but this is. literally a life defining moment for me and i'm scared shitless so <3 i'll calm down in a week i just need to be dramatic first
#just burst into tears on my way home 🙃#just had a realization that therapy really did help me and i am in a better place now. but at the same time#it's really fucking disheartening to realize that if something bad happened you wouldn't be getting any help from your parents. again!#because why would they learn from their mistakes lmao#lately they've been just. so mean to me for no fucking reason. and it's fine usually but not now#i'm like okay! i'm starting my life again! we'll see how it goes#and they're like btw if you fuck up this time you'll be the only one to blame :) also we won't help you because you're an adult :)#like i did not!!! fucking ask!!!!#i did ask for a bit of your support though and got yelled at in return!!!#sometimes i'm just. amazed. like holy shit you guys can be normal but sometimes you're cartoonishly mean.#like i asked my father if he could ask his friend if i could sleep at his place one night. and the response i got?#'until you've proved your worth to me i have no reason to help you' like HELLO. this is. wow#he says shit like that all the time unprompted#he acts like i'm a criminal or something lmao but what i did wrong was dropping out of uni.#after 2 years of fighting with officials about something i had no control over and getting fucked over again and again#like sorry i could not take it anymore!#i restored most of my self-confidence through therapy but this shit sometimes gets to you. yk#godddd i am getting so personal it's fucking embarrassing but i promise it's the last time <3 or i hope so lmao#i just have to survive this week. i will calm down after first 2 days of classes.#and if after that i'll decide i'm not ready yet? then i still have my job and enough time to try again#yeah i'm trying to convince myself at this point abjsvjscjs#k.txt#dl#btw this sounds way dramatic than it actually is so <3 don't you worry about me i'll be back to normal soon
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Hm.
computer forced a restart. all my tabs r gone...
#speculation nation#time for me to be like 'what were all my open tabs???'#AGH this is so annoying. i had pages open for a reason ok#i guess the anime tabs arent essential. i do need the trigun manga pages though#i had both the dark horse translation and the fan overhaul translation open. in like several different tabs#it's just plain easier to read the official translation bc it's in a nice normal manga setup#but the overhaul translation is good for cross checking. i especially used it when referencing some dialog that was pretty vague#and it was still vague. they were purposefully talking vague. but it was a little clearer with the overhaul what they were getting at.#stuff like that. idk im just using them both.#those r the real annoying tabs to get back. gonna have to dig in my history. otherwise it's just anime and anime and anime#and then my writing tabs. and then twitter. but tbfh i dont need twitter anymore#i was wandering on there bc p5 twitter is much more active that p5 tumblr & i wanted to see more fanart#trigun fandom is so active on tumblr i cant even reblog all the fanart w/o spamming my followers#so. i dont need twitter lol. im fine here.#gah i hate computer auto-updates. sooooooooooo annoying.
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gene was supposed to be so bitter about being in hisui and get even more angry and unhinged over time with ingo as like his one friend and, and volo was supposed to come to the slow realization that being seen by arceus is maybe not a good thing but keep up that customer service guise so by the end gene doesn’t even know if he’s learned anything
but instead they were both so desperate to talk to someone who got them that they’re literally just living together now ksjdhfkjsdhf
#normally I'd post this rambling over on twitter but I've resolved not to post anything unique over there anymore#lack of security and all#I kind of prefer the casual format over there it feels too official posting on tumblr but alas#we're all stuck with me weeping on main now#I might have posted parts of this one before but MAN they were supposed to make each other worse#guzma was right gene's really good at cooperating with people#weeping and wailing tbh#PLA spoilers#mentioned#dhgsdgfdshfd the kleavor fight was such a big turning point 😭😭😭😭#everything volo was supposed to realize slowly he realized very quickly instead -- arceus couldn't care less if his heroes live or die#in that one instant he went from 'if I visit every day people will think I'm courting him but idc about rumors' to 'I Am Courting Him'#also you can tell these were from a long time before kleavor bc the hat is Smooth#immediately after kleavor volo's hat got fluffy#I just got better at drawing it lol but it feels symbolic skjdhfksjdf
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NO YEAH IF ANYONE'S EQUIPPED TO KICK ASS IN THE ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE IT'S THE ARAKAWAS LMAO
Okay, in terms of Aoki's actual arrest, that would've been chiefly for (as the news ticker says) incitement to murder and, y'know, taking a police officer hostage/assaulting a police officer.
I believe incitement is weighed the same as perpetration. While the gang survived the explosion, Ishioda didn't (I think?), so it's more than "attempted" murder. And because of the number of people involved, it would probably be considered incitement to aggravated murder, which narrows the options to a life sentence or the death penalty (or, at the very least, marks them as strong possibilities).
While normally incitement is difficult to prove (as it would be for most every other instance he did it; Jo would never talk, Ishioda is Kind Of Dead, and for Arakawa Tendo was, yeah, acting of his own accord), they have some pretty solid evidence + probably a confession, given Aoki's intentions to turn himself in.
So in terms of the original question, there isn't really much else that needs to be considered, since it's not like it can get any worse than a life sentence no matter what else he confesses to… Aside from the death penalty, but if Jo managed to avoid one, Aoki probably could? Unless Jo's age was a consideration since realistically a life sentence would probably kill him in the same amount of time it'd take to carry out an execution.
But for the sake of completionism, Suzumori's murder could very much be argued as a case of self-defense. Being assaulted after his body had already been pushed to its limits absolutely could have resulted in his death, so it'd probably be down to possession charges. I can understand Arakawa and Jo being dead set on keeping him out of prison even with that being the case, though; prison lowers the average person's lifespan as-is, and it could very well have killed Masato.
After that it's mostly a laundry list of collusion and corruption charges I'm not crazy enough to unpack, but. Yeah. I think Aoki and Jo would've been in for life… Kinda makes me wonder how it all would've played out if Aoki'd had that change of heart and they spent those last years together and Jo inevitably died first...
essentially, for the Quick Byte version for the mate who initially asked: life sentence if not the death penalty
#snap chats#tbh i think we all lowkey assumed he'd be getting life or death LMAO idk why??? i didnt say that in my iniital ask??? dumb shit ☠️#i was too focused on trying to explain exactly what he'd be charged with just for clarity sake#i dont think ive made it apparent how thankful i am for your asks when im too lazy to properly answer my own VJLRAKVLKJ SO THANK YOU#esp with the week ive been having.. it seems like a small thing to be grateful for all things considered but i still am#nor could i ever be as thorough as you so i get the same exp as the initial asker now dont i (´▽` )#moving on from that though. yeah no youd have to like. idk pay me to collect a comprehensive list of what he'd be done in for LMAO#i know american law just fine but i forgot everything i ever looked up when it comes to japanese law#i know statute of limitations on murder isnt a thing anymore.. but i mentioned looong ago that Yeah Suzumori Can Be Argued Self Defense#again the only reason to care for clarification is purely for clarification and just wanting to know yk. yeah we know.#the official charges hardly matters when it's already guaranteed he's going away for life or getting hanged#all of that said. i'll hoard my aoki-reunites-with-jo-in-jail fics and keep them close to my soul..#im gonna be haunted with that question until i die#how about until i sleep cause MAN all of a sudden i just feel groggy#it is almost like. 1AM tbf. a normal time to be tired to be sure#and yet i still want to stay up......
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I am literally the patient with the worst physical health in the gvt long covid program and it feels like shit 💀
#at least they think i have a shot at getting disability programs#well. i guess i have to accept that i need this#its been a full year.#time to be disabled officially so i can get stuff ig#i hate this sm#i wanted to wait until i get my citizenship but it might not be reasonable anymore 💀#medical#just bitching#but yeah anyway im still in the pem and this one is shaking me#i havent had one that was bad to the point of not being able to speak normally in a while#ive had cataplexy adjacent episodes but these are not the same#pems are scary cause they dont have a treatment#also the episodes last a few hours then go away#this pem is gonna take a few days at least#but hey i can speak now although i need to be careful not to have too long conversations#cause damn did u know talking takes a lot of muscle? cause i know
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