Hm.

computer forced a restart. all my tabs r gone...

as cool as their design is im really starting to dislike the sonau in general, aside from their stuff suddendly being everywhere and everything being about them and how cool(tm) they are now with the mystery stone turning people into dragons and the similarities between the sonau and the three dragons (naydra, eldra, farodra) its actually not an impossibility that they used to be sonaus as alot of people have been theorizing about ..but ...... idk that would very much ruin their otherwordly yet ethereal mystery to me

i probably sound like some hater whos trying to find something more to dislike about totk all the time but i promise im not!!

the three dragons being some unexplained mystery, beings that are there yet few can see them, timeless, nigh untouchable, they dont act on anything, they dont talk, something about them has always made me look at them in awe; if it turned out they were just yet another cool(tm) sonau guy that ate a stone ... :/

not a fan of that one lads, but dont worry, i will keep my thoughts to myself from now on, i dont want to ruin other peoples fun nor seem like i just hate everything ... the three dragons are just really important to me so i had to say something

...... If I went on a hiatus for who knows how long again would y'all hate me....... 👉👈

(long post about purgatory and meta and rp)

sigh one thing ive been thinking is that it feels a bit unfair to see so many people complaining or doomposting over how purgatory affects the overarching qsmp rp story or how it ~interrupted arcs~ or is ~disturbing current storylines~ or ~narratively unsatisfying~ like. Sure. its a bit abrupt and most players were caught off guard because lore-wise it stems from the federation which means none of them were told about anything beforehand

but... its only been three days. maybe we could have a little faith? like idk ill be soooooo out there rn and say that maybe the admins did this now for a reason. maybe itll make sense later on. we already see lore repercussions with elquackity and his motives and all the nods to the eggs.

theres fair criticism to be made (when done respectfully) if youre mainly here for the roleplay but i feel like we sometimes need to remind ourselves that the qsmp storytelling is a VERY ambitious project. lmao. imagine being the writing team and trying to wrangle 20+ characters with distinct points of view and journeys on an ever-changing story because of the very nature of live rp. its practically IMPOSSIBLE to tie up every loose end neatly and at this point i dont think we should expect that. keeping up momentum with all plotlines must also be pretty hard, cc's schedules and outside factors like server programming and building and mod tweaking and all those meta elements considered and so on and so on

i DO also want the story to move forward and be cohesive and make sense in a satisfactory way. like i really do!!!!!!! but i try to understand that thats not ALL the qsmp is about. from the start quackity said the server wouldn't be exclusive to the rp aspect. it sure is that way right now, but thats because most of the active members are VERY passionate about roleplaying. thats a good thing! they have fun and its fun to watch and the experience is mostly good for everyone because it corresponds to their expectations to an extent

the thing about purgatory is that i feel like its a lot more meta than most people doomposting realize. it ties into the story, sure, but to me it feels like the sudden switch in environment and vibes and stakes isnt actually catered to the rp and thats FINE. like thats not what it exists for and thats fineeeeeee

pac for one has said he appreciates the event for the change of pace, though its very hard (lol), because regular qsmp was starting to feel a bit stale to him and he was kind of running out of things to do. THATS A GREAT THING! managing player engagement like that is awesome and sometimes necessary. YES, purgatory caters to a very different playstyle than what we're used to -- and thats one of its strenghts.

a lot of hispanic creators have also felt this!!!! roier, rivers and carre most prominently have been VERY excited about this event because its similar in format to a lot of spanish speaking events like mc extremo and such. a lot of these players are also not particularly interested in rp-ing and had not been logging on very often prior to purgatory.

even roleplay regulars like tubbo, fit and bbh have shown interest in purgatory for the competitive nature of the setting!!! thats cool too!!!! something different, new possibilities to play around with. thats what the events should be about. kudos to the admins and dev teams for attempting it in such a big scale. their effort shows and all the mechanics weve seen are really fucking cool

i love the roleplay!!!!!! its one of my favorite parts of the qsmp!!!!!! but its not ALL there is and it shouldnt be! non rp-oriented creators are also part of the project and deserve to have a little fun too -- not to mention a big chunk of the hispanic fan community that has blown up twitter with support bc what we have rn is similar to events they already love!!!!!!! im glad to see so many of them get excited again!!!!!!

at the end of the day, qsmp is a LONG long term project, and purgatory ends in two weeks. by the time its over, we can all choose to engage with it as we wish. it can be a big filler episode in your mind, if you want. it can be just for fun..... otherwise, if its not fun, your regularly scheduled qsmp will be back soon anyway :3 its fine to not like it, its fine to have something negative to say about it if properly tagged and not like. crazy entitled or blown out of proportion for what this situation is.

i just hope we can all manage our online experiences accordingly and avoid making things less enjoyable for each other. this is supposed to be fun

saw your arc-v livepostings on twitter n' your z-one/aporia posts and now i really wanna get into the show and into ygo in general. do you have any recommendations on where to start so that it won't be too confusing for a poor sap such as i if you can? please and thank you (:

WAHHH IM HONORED THAT MY SILLY POSTING HAS INSPIRED YA TO CHECK OUT YUGIOH!! ;w;

yugioh really is something truly special and an absolute blast to really dig into, but it IS a very big franchise.... forgive me for being a bit inexperienced at giving recommendations, but I shall do my best!! here's some pointers that I think could be helpful if ya wanna get into the show(s) (not getting into the mangas too much on this, for the sake of brevity LOL) (the spinoff mangas are fun reads, though!)

ok so the thing with yugioh is there are Eight Different 'Main' Yugioh Series (and a few little stray other series but we ain talkin bout those right now)--my recommendations are focusing on the first five series, since those the ones i've seen (though ive heard glowing reviews for VRAINS and Sevens and you could certainly go check either of those out if you wanted to! You don't really need to know anything about the plots of the other series to follow those stories)

as a yugioh fan i am of course obligated to recommend Duel Monsters as a starter. It's the OG, just absolute Yugioh at its most tried and true Yugioh, it Is that good, the dub and sub are both classics--but IF i am being my most honest true self, if my arc-v postin and zoneporia chattering have got ya ygo hooked then I would recc maybe taking a gander at one of the spinoff series first instead ;3

(In general what's cool about yugioh is you can basically pick up any of the series as your 'first' ygo experience to start with and have a great time with it! I know tons of people who've all started with different series/only are invested in 1-2 series,Theyre all made to be their own self-contained plots, and there's really something for everyone among 'em! you could honestly just read wiki blurbs on each series and go with whatever one sounds most interesting to you, and that's a fine start right there.) (though sometimes youll see characters from one series show up in another one, the Entire Storyline isnt Hinged on that--i.e. a bunch of alternate version GX/5D's/Zexal characters show up in ARC-V, but you dont need to have seen all those series to watch arc-v or follow its plot.) also idgaf what anyone says, the dubs are just as wonderful a watch as the subs are when it comes to ygos--you have to deal with some scene censorship or dialogue changes, but to me it doesn't really impede the experience. (in fact I almost want to recommend the dubs MORE for someone just starting to get into yugioh--it can be easier to follow the duels sometimes. AND a lot of the dubs are free on Youtube!!)

ANYWAY Z-one and Aporia are from Yugioh 5D's!! The, Last twenty episodes or so. Of 5D's. 🥴 <--the suffering nicherfaverrrr. So if you want to meet them properly you Do unfortunately have to be in for the long haul (i am of course biased and will say: Worth It.) 5D's is all around fantastic though; it has its slow spots, but the duels get crazy fun on those damn motorcycles, so even if you do buckle in for the All of It you'll have a good time--there are some chunks in the second half of the show that never got dubbed though (sad!) which is just something to keep in mind.

RE: Arc-V! since youve seen me tweetin about it, I will say, the first 50 episodes or so of it, that first season, does make for a really great crash course intro to yugioh and its worlds/how dueling works, since it touches upon all the main types of summoning as part of its plot, and talks about how they work. You get to learn about them as the characters do, which is really cool! My main hesitance from suggesting it 100% as a starter series is that it gets. fucking Bonkers. like characters from the other series showing up aside there is just So Much Going On in Arc-V At Any Given Point. IT CAN BE A BIT OVERWHELMING. AND APPARENTLY ITS ENDING IS. NOT VERY GOOD. which might not be very fun for a first time ygo experience 😭BUT BY ALL MEANS GIVE IT A WHIRL IF YOU'RE INTERESTED. I'm having fun with it at least, hehehe.

OK HONESTLY. HONESTLY. I think if I have one good recommendation to take away from all of this: watch Zexal. Zexal is a fantastic starter yugioh, I can't recommend giving it a go enough. Yuma as a protagonist starts out dogshit at the game and gets better over the course of the series, and that really helps the viewer follow along with the card game and start to understand it at a nice pace without getting confused over all the finer points of it. It does a really nice job of explaining how things work imo! It's also just, a gorgeous show. It's one of the most beautiful cartoons ive ever seen art direction wise. It's so kind and so fun and goes hard as hell and the characters are so full of love and personality. AND THE WHOLE DUB IS FREE ON YOUTUBE. BTW. BONUS.

THIS ENDED UP SO LONG SORRY tl;dr you can pretty much start with whatever yugioh sounds most interesting to you personally as your first series and you won't be missing any critical lore! Also Zexal is one of the best, consistently good and really easy to pick up. I think if you could only ever watch one yugioh make it that one.

also this is a less a recommendation and more just "little things about watching yugioh to keep in mind" but: don't let the card game aspect intimidate ya too much! the show really does it's best to explain how cards work and keeps it engaging; it's a show geared towards kids so of course it tries to keep things pretty easy to follow along, game-wise (also do not listen to the 'The Duels Arent Important' Crowd they are Wrong. yugioh is a sports anime but the sport is a card game. that's the crux of its storytelling. and it's genuinely really cool!!!) And if you're interested in giving the game itself a whirl, Duel Links is pretty beginner friendly imo!

I HOPE THATS AT LEAST SOMEWHAT HELPFUL the trials and tribulations of recommending where to start with a franchise that boasts some 1000+ episodes across 8 series is mighty but that should give ya some sort of idea!! whatever you end up going with I hope you have a ton of fun! YUGIOHHHH

please can you guys stop acting like bee wasn’t antiblack, or that her being rightfully angry about antisemitism means that it’s ok to be antiblack. i get it i get that she was hotheaded and emotional. i also get that she is not doing well mentally at all and that’s why she disappeared off tumblr as a result of the situation. i ALSO get that she read and re-read that post after writing it multiple times and went back and added to it and reblogged it a couple times to encourage people to also reblog it to spread it. i know this because i didn’t reblog it myself until about the 3rd time i saw it on my dash. there was ample opportunity for bee to see that her wording was messed up and if she didn’t mean it or miswrote what she meant to say, she could have removed it. whatever, that isn’t the situation at this point. the situation at this point is people know and accept that bee herself admitted she was being antiblack and apologised, but are now rallying some kind of a support group for her being like ‘we know you were antiblack and we don’t agree with that, but it’s ok because we know you didn’t mean it and we love you!’ THAT ISN’T YOUR PLACE. it’s not my place either but evidently you need someone to tell it to you like a dickhead because everyone affected has been way too fucking nice about it. like are you guys stupid? genuinely asking. because you’re starting to sound exactly like the twitter fans you keep mocking and disowning every day in your little screenshots you post on your blogs. racism sucks until it’s your friend, or your mutual, right? then it’s fine? because it’s your friend and you know them and they’re absolutely NOT racist, just in this instance, right? i’m closer to bee and laura than over half of you people on anon or throwaway blogs ever were btw ????? like im literally their friend???? or was supposed to be???? which is why i even expressed such disappointment @ laura and waited so so long for her to try and get back to me and try to tell her that it wasn’t ok to get so defensive????? to the point of her also being racist and antiblack???? but im not gonna stay silent abt it and pretend it’s not happening or defend them on main OR WORSE ON ANON LOL like not even owning what you say, to say things like ‘i know you were racist but i love you :(’ like cmon.... are you SERIOUS with this. BRO YOUR FRIEND WAS RACIST. if you’re not gonna get involved directly on main like i didn’t get til now, at the very least try and talk to them about it, like i know other mutual friends of ours have. at least BE A FRIEND not a fucking asslicker. you didnt see me asslick bee for being in the wrong. i sent her a dm at the start of the chae situation telling her to take care of herself and then supported the community she hurt on here. me distancing myself from them further after all the other shit that happened is because i personally dont feel comfortable interacting with people who were so confidently antiblack and racist on main after doubling down on the initial callout. if u get called out, you review what you said, you apologise sincerely if you were in the wrong, you move on and grow. you allow the people you hurt to process that hurt. that’s how this shit works. you guys are 3rd parties DO NOT get to sit there and go ‘it’s ok!!!! you deserve support, we know you didnt mean it!!!’ while COMPLETELY IGNORING the fact that an entireeeeeee group of black people have been hurting over this situation for DAYS.... like. i have literally seen it with my own two eyeballs because i see their posts. they are hurting!!!! you guys are literally NOT CARING!!!??? get a grip! if you’re gonna support your friend, fair, but at least acknowledge at the VERY LEAST that they literally added to the disgusting treatment black people face enough on here and off here every day. MAY I ALSO MENTION, as my friend jewel also mentioned yesterday, black jewish people exist. this situation hurt them tenfold. like what was the reason for pitting two minority communities against each other like that??? not once have i seen one of you guys say something so simple and so true and that is that ANTISEMITISM IS BAD but SO IS ANTIBLACKNESS.

ok i watched hotd ep 10 here are some of my thots

SPOILERS UNDER THE CUT

from what I heard I expected a shitshow but it really wasn’t that bad lmao maybe I’m just a show apologist but. idk i enjoyed it overall not the worst episode by any means. maybe with less questionable choices than ep 9 I haven’t thought about it that long um anyway. miscellaneous thoughts (out of order im just writing down what comes to mind)

again from what I’d heard I was worried about what they’d do with rhaenyra like. people said she would be all like “uwu no fighting lets make peace I surrender” and that’s. not what happened lol. I think her being more cautious makes sense in the show esp since they also made alicent less unhinged (which I do have some problems with but. whatever -_-)

that asoiaf title drop was kinda cringe tho sorry it felt so out of place. also I still dont know if I like the whole prophecy thing but it works way better when its used as a motivation to try to not explode everything than a ‘oopsie silly misunderstanding it’s war time’ plot device lol

i can smell the twitter daemyra (or whatever the ship name is) stans seething from here but honestly. thank fuck they’re not making it a uwu domestic wholesome romance like this is a guy and his niece that he groomed it should be toxic and fucked up

ok questionable moment n.1 what was the purpouse of the whole vermithor thing lol. doesnt ruin the story or anything its just kinda. there. like what was daemon trying to achieve idk. good to see another dragon i guess tho. could have used the budget for sunfyre and dreamfyre instead but whatever

speaking of dragons arrax was prettyyy. from what i could see anyway lol i definitely need to rewatch at least the dragon scenes when it comes out in better quality. anyway nice colors rip gamer girl #2

they put in aemond’s silly little sapphire eye <3333333333333 looks great 10/10 thank u hbo for his anime villain swag babygirl is soo deranged all the time again i heard people complaining about him but idk he’s fine to me he’s still insane and extra <3

ok so The Scene. the big change. the kinslaying opsie. I’m honestly not sure how I feel about it yet I’ll have to think about it a bit more but. maybe its bc I expected it to be worse but I dont hate it I guess. I dont like how they’re turning so many things into accidents and misunderstandings but this is the least bad one imo. Idk honestly I expected vaghar to just. do the thing completely unprompted and that’s not exactly what happened so. the bar was on the floor but congrats for jumping over it i guess.

tldr still havent made up my mind about it but as far as questionable choices theyve done a lot worse lol

uh that’s it for now i guess I just typed this out as soon as i watched it so maybe ill have more to say later who knows

i dont want to be annoying, but now what do u think of the accusations? cuz the racist video was part of a role in a series, in the nude photos he was a minor and friends came out to defend him, but i dont know what to believe from the things he said and shared on his twitter lol i mean i make those jokes too, the same kind he makes, but its just that for me: jokes. thats why i dont know if its okay for me...? i dont want people to hate me for supporting it but now everything seems too fake to me, especially when the girl who started it all made videos on tiktok making fun of having ruined his career and wrote to someone on ig insulting, and finally, how she deactivated her account when everyone started exposing the inconsistencies in her story (later she activated it), so that makes me think about how strange everything has been 😭😭 especially when percy doesnt give announcements, but hes active on instagram (likes) and also that the cast hasnt stopped following him AHHH I DONT KNOW WHAT TO THINK i need my favorite writer to guide me pls pls and also sorry 4 the grammar im 🇧🇷 😭😭

Hi there friend!

First and foremost I’d like to say that when the news first came out about the SA, it did shock, confuse, and hurt me. I have stopped supporting artists/actors in the past for such allegations for obvious reasons, so obviously it was a natural reaction for me to no longer want to support someone with such allegations out there. However, I did some slight digging as we all did and informed myself about the allegations being tweeted and after just a few scrolls, I thought the whole thing was just strange. The story never made sense to me, the girls kept being rude to people who were asking normal questions to fully understand the story, the spread of his nudes as a minor?? It truly left me confused and so I stopped reading and interacting with such posts. I also thought it was strange people were going through his likes and kink shaming him for things he’s liked on ig before the accusations came out. And that’s my issue with ‘cancel culture’ they find one thing out and start digging for every and anything they could find to pin on a person and start building their own conclusions, hoping anyone would believe them. And people do.

Now, his use of the slur was wrong and I could never deny that. Am I a little confused about his lack of response? A little. But I do believe he was told not to comment on anything yet for whatever reasons, which at the end of the day was smart on his end because now these girls have twisted and rewrote their story— lacking credibility.

Although I’m not fully convinced about it all, I’ve made this account solely an xavier account and maybe some of his other characters too. I was and still am a little wary about adding his face to my pieces because I want to make everyone on my account comfortable. So if anyone has any issues with that, I hope they can privately reach out and tell me about it!

But anyway bestie, I mean this in the nicest way possible— don’t let me and my opinions steer you a certain direction that you’re not comfortable in. I have my own opinions that some of my other friends on here may or may not have and that’s fine! I still respect them and their decisions to either stop writing for xavi all together or to add his picture on their writings and what not. But thanks for reaching out, I hardly talk about it on here because at the end of the day, it’s an xavier account and my sweet little muffin boy did no wrong. I can happily seperate actor from his character but I can understand why some writers can’t.

Also, omg a Brazilian bestie?? I’ve heard amazing things about Brazil and dream of scratching it off my travel bucket list one day 😭 your grammar was perfect! Never apologize bestie!

aloha, im new, an i was wondering uh..why dont you like JK rowling if she made harry putter *potter (sorry it doeint *doesint* let me backspace) but you like harry potter? sorry i dont mean to be rude or offend im actually really curious and would love to know <3 (if u dont wanna anzer *answer tat is fine lol) (IM SO SORRY FOR THE MISSSPELLS)

Hi! Firstly, welcome to my blog and the spelling mistakes are totally fine, I've faced them before. 😁😁 Now, I support the LGBTQ+ community and believe that someone's sexuality or gender does not matter in society. I was exposed to the terms 'gay' and 'lesbian' at a young age, and my parents explained them to me. However, they told me that homosexuality is a 'disgusting' act. I did not want to believe them, though. I always thought that if a boy liked another boy, or if a girl liked another girl, it was totally fine. It's like in fairytales, it's true love. Except, there are two princesses/princes. J.K. Rowling is, in very short words, a TERF. Why? It started on Twitter where JKR 'accidentally liked' a transphobic tweet. The tweet was something about trans men being 'men in dresses'. People all around the world started throwing hate comments at JKR saying things like "You are Voldemort" and stuff like that. Why people did not get a reply to the hate comments was because JKR stayed off of Twitter, as she says on her website. J.K. Rowling liked another post, yet again, on Twitter, which caused another outbreak of hate comments. But soon, JKR started to openly show her support for a person called Maya Forstater, a British tax advisor who wasn't renewed because of her transphobic posts. On her website, she lists the reasons why she is worried about trans activism, or something and you can check it out here.

I hope this did not bore you to death 😐, but, I needed to show just how much I do not support JKR. (I thought a long answer would show that.)

seeing leosagi trend on twitter makes me so happy though at the same time i kinda avoid it cuz a majority of it is yu/ichi usagi that's with leo and i don't wanna ruin the fun of the people who enjoy the samurai rabbit show, i tried getting into the show a month ago but it just... did not catch my eye the same way rise did

maybe it's cuz the show's not technically about the og usagi or the fact that i struggle to care about cast and story itself cuz it feels... boring to me? idk, it's just hard for me to get into shipping rise leo with yu/ichi when i'm not really interested in the character or show (yu/ichi i mean), esp when i'm more attached to everyone's version of rise usagi

sorry if this seems a bit ranty ^^;;;

Okay  1. I was answering another ask when I saw this and deiced nope I need to answer this! 2.no so yes let us talk about this because i see you I feel you and get what you mean as well.3. Sorry this is gonna be a lil long.

Okay so I recalled when they originally announced doing the samurai rabbit show and I was excited cause Usagi content. Forgot about it till finally getting back into tmnt after being convinced to finally watch rise cause o didn't when it originally aired. Which sent me down a rabbit hole obsession on usagi in time for the Samurai Rabbit show coming out. And to make this easier when I say Usagi I’ll be talking about Usagi Miyamoto and Yu/ichi for Usagi Yu/ichi yes I know they have the same first name that's the point it’s just for clarification here.

Now I do not mind the show it’s fine for what it is and I think Yu/ichi is cute and interesting but I have a love hate thing for the show. I spoke to a mutual on tiktok about this and I know I made a post on my thoughts about the show. I like the concept of Usagi descendant  Yu/ichi trying to become a samurai in a future time period when Samurai aren’t around, because he idolizes Usagi. Only to find out Usagi is a bad guy so he tries to clear their name. Despite that set up its not really what we get and Yui/chi didn’t really clear their name im still annoyed about that. I do still enjoy Yu/ichi mostly the design I even drew some inspiration from it for my own rise usagi because I liked the bangs. And I do find he and rise leo could be fun buuuuuuuut He is not the Usagi I want.

See as I have gotten more into Usagi’s own series I have just really come to love the character even more and love the idea of him in rise compared to a cross over with samurai rabbit. I just love the idea of the conflict in personality I just want him to be a grounded samurai who is emotionally in touch. Like especially with Leo going into his role as a leader I just love the idea of that being when he meets Usagi because of how special that friendship is in the 03 series. Besides I enjoy the Lore of Usagi Yojimbo and would love tidbits of it in rise uwu

Well I will still share and enjoy ship art of both cause i’m greedy and like Leosagi I do agree with people that the two should have different ships names. I saw seabunny mention for rise leo and yu/ichi and thats cute. But yeah well the sudden boom on twitter been nice to see and I have a friend who prefers that version simply cause yu/ichi is cannon over a rise usagi is. Thats fine though I also feel there another reason for the push on yui/chi i’m just being skeptical though so i wont say that in this. I just personally perfect Usagi myself over yui/chi. Again theres nothing wrong with him it’s just well I feel hes getting more praise than what is earned really. Based off the show am I a fan of it? eh I like it i don't know if its something i’ll re-watch I wish the writing was better I kind wanna do a fix it fic for it but that's a lot of work compared to one shots lol

TL;DR: Well I dont mind yu/ichi as a charater when it comes to the leosagi thing esp for Rise I’m in the side of Usagi Miyamoto over Usagi Yui/chi. And feel they should have different ship names also 03/2012 usagi > over any other usagi uwu

Masterpost

Hello! I'm Seru, barely a functional Malaysian young adult and I'm primarily a fanartist 👩‍🎨 but i also write fanfics ✍️!

This blog is where I will first upload all the stuff I have on Twitter for archival purposes, so most of the stuff here would be from my Twitter, generally.

Just a quick heads up for people who don't know me and only found me on Tumblr, (welcome aboard to the lil gang btw!) here's a few things I'm into and may be a squick for you:

I'm very much always invested in a good dark/problematic content which are as the tin, so if you do not want any dark/problematic content stuff from me or from the people I follow and support who do dark/problematic content, please click away 🙏 (or make sure you’re armed with the blocked tags, if you still want to see my less problematic content)

I'm an ardent believer in treating characters as what they are; characters that can be interesting or not, and not a moral horn. Ultimately from my bio itself its obvious im a huge fan of Original Shen Qingqiu/Shen Jiu from Scum Villain Self-Saving System by MXTX so if for whatever reason other than "I just hate him." you dislike him (primarily if ure going to bring up morality) then, again, click away

And... thts pretty much it, really. Do take when I say i consume dark/problematic content very seriously, from unhealthy relationships to downright underage and incest so like. YEAH. I will be sure to tag them accordingly ofc if I reblog / post these content of my own, so if you are fine with a certain scope of it but not with the others you can still filter out those things 👍

Now tht thts done here's where you can also find me:

Twitter

Instagram

AO3

Now here's the tags for my content:

Seru art

Seru doodle

Seru fic

Seru animatic

Comm info for whenever I open wait list

Dont have the money to afford my commission prices but you still wanna support me financially somehow? You can get me a ko-fi!

Lastly here's my general carrd for whatever reason you may need it~ https://serupastel.carrd.co

I think i covered all bases lol. So if ure following me for whatever reason or another, i hope yall enjoy whatever i post here wehehehe~

ok this is a genuinely embarrassing post im GENUINELY ashamed of lmao but ... i dont know where else to post it so here we all go

tw for SA/predatory behaviour + uh me being stupid

OKAY. so i'm neutral to negative on what we might call "porn", i think the rebranding of porn as a feminist thing is a bit weird + i dont think that makes me sex-worker exclusionary bc i fully support sex workers as people + i hope they always have access to everything they need while wokring that job - i just think it's weird and disingenuous to pretend that sex work is always a choice, that it isn't often dangerous, that middle class women using onlyfans without any interaction with men IRL is how sex work looks for most sex workers

ANYWAY! that's a tangent already

anyway, ages ago (maybe 2020/2021) i was bored + found this dude on twitter who made porn i thought was really hot + good, he posted a lot of pro-woman content, posted a lot about keeping his co-stars happy and i was like :) that's nice :) i have watched very little porn in my entire life, ftr, it's never been a "thing" for me, so i was probably (and still am) quite naive re: this kind of thing. he was also open about his body image issues which i appreciated as well + he often worked w/ girls of all sizes which again was like? nice to see

here's where im an actual idiot: he was a male porn star who did a lot of dominant stuff and i was like "im sure that's fine and he's the one good one" LMFAO despite like literally knowing better + knowing that i was an idiot to think this at the time!!

anyway - i even paid for his onlyfans content for a few months bc again: idiot :( the ONLY TIME ive ever paid for any porn in my life + i literally told myself it was ok bc of how nice he seemed lol. IDIOT!! ftr we never had any personal interactions at all - i'm not THAT stupid

anyway ofc it all turned out that he's not nice + he is, ofc, a serial predator LOLLLL of course of course!! receipts in the twitter thread here:

i feel absolutely horrified at the fact i've given him money + had been like absolutely hoodwinked by his nice feminist man shit despite KNOWING BETTER AT THE TIME + refusing to like believe my own intuition on this kind of thing :| anyway ... ill never make that mistake again fr. im done w/ it all, grubby grubby grubby

for the record after finding out i did immediately send money to sexual assault charities based in the UK bc like. the knowledge i had actually given him money was really quite disturbing to me? i have never had a similar exp so i didnt know what to do

i want to collate my speak now thoughts off twitter onto tumblr but dont want it to show up in the ts tag but thats my blog tag so im gonna reblog myself shortly lol. very short-form.

mine: i can hear the differences but loved it

sparks fly: shes putting her country accent on at least a little?? yess

back to december: remains a solid favourite but possibly missing a bit of the feeling of the original which is a shame

speak now: good but idk missing a bit maybe?

dear john: YES. but needs more anger!

mean: country taylor yes. oh yes. very good. i want a new mv for this. could go more country though.

the story of us: i love this sm ‘next chapterr’.

never grow up: already sobbing.

enchanted: ok this is better than OG not sorry my fave <33

better than revenge: lyric change but… still love it. hits the spot. the first is a little awkward but after that it fits well. I LOVE IT SM. rockier song and she nails it

innocent: ok this is fine. id forgotten it till ‘32 & still growing up’ lol. (doesnt rly fit between the btr & haunted imo)

haunted: swemo loml. this is even better than OG.

last kiss: yes. this is lovely. only half rmr this. WAIT. i know the ending(?) bridge lol rip. lovely

long live: oh no. genuine chills. so good. wow. cried lol. this was perfect and i cant imagine how it must have felt for her to rerecord. i rly hope she makes a mv for this one.

ours: lovely one. needs more country taylor imo. can hear her smiling at the end

superman: its telling which ones i rmr (this is one). more rock-y ones rate higher. loved it

ok. new ones coming up

electric touch: FOB! yes. i liked that. need to relisten some times but it was good

🥺 I've gotten used to no one callin' my phone / I've grown accustomed to sleepin' alone.

when emma falls in love: who is emma! but i really enjoyed this one, goes rly well with a lot of the others musically imo. this is so quotable. big fan.

Cause Little Miss Sunshine always thinks it’s gonna rain

i can see you: oh hello.. this is different i like it. im not sure if this fits? both lyrically & music but. honestly good for her

You won't believe half the things I see inside my head /Wait 'til you see half the things that haven’t happened yet

uhmmm?? ms taylor!! (/positive)

very alex & henry from rwrb coded

castles crumbling: hayley williams!! ms paramore!! love this. so sad

Ones I loved tried to help, so I ran them off/ And here I sit alone behind walls of regret / Falling down like promises that I never kept

oh taylor :(

foolish one: this one feels more speak now-y. man this is heartbreaking??

Cause you got her on your arm and me in the wings / I'll get your longing glances, but she'll get your ring

timeless: god i think i love this?? the premise is a bit strange but. its perfect for speak now & i love that shes imagining all this from a photo

I wanna put on layers because now days I get cold and it sucks I need two covers to sleep and keep myself warm. I'm not cold if it's so hot to where the crayons melt on the pavement other than that I am cold my hands mainly my fingers get cold and my ears and I have a beanie in my backpack but I feel like ifi wear it ill look weird im trypong off of the my key oard where theres no capaltization or auto correct so im just typing like this snd i dont care thag much i think i have a sore throat because I threw up yesterday not on purpose i literally just woke up from my nap and threw up when i woke ip maybe i ste too many cuties but ig it sas worth it but my throat is so re now

i think i can speak about my lfie on tumblr like its no one's business it feels nice i guess because even if. i dont get engagement on here i at elast have a personal outlet with a form of anonymity.

i dont think i have to make sende on here because i ca just speak even when im not physically speaking i have an outlet i feel that this is possibly a more positive oitlet compared to my ntoes which have bad thigns.

i linda wish i could be luci at times i sure hes a sweet person lol i dont lnow

is it lies or are they actually happy? because im sure it's possible to physc yourself into thinking your fine and happy with the self distruction but in the oong run it, likey

i feel so odd like ts posting thigns om twitter like hes the smartest person on the internet or even like some weird reddit incel i dont know i wish he wasnt a bad person because i wont lie i feel pike if he wasnt bad i would actually engangenin his content i guess or lsiten to his music which i do but i listen to it on soundcloud

sometimes i feel like i dont wanna bw here because i didnt take my anti depressants but than i remember thag i have to live,i have a life i need to live even if i dont like ir but also because i dont want to fie or unalive myself and have jim thinking "oh he did it because of me" like no your not thag important bro anywho im been listening to mm they're music kinda helps likw when i started listening to ms sheets music as a coping mechanism i need to find the picture i thinl i have it in my camra roll owir weweweew i dont have the picture ^_^ hapoy i gues

he got me a xbox but i showld have asked 4 a 3DS XL i miss playing on a ds i miss my dsi meanwhile in dyf hes talkinf about wanting to f*ck his iphonei thought the wbll rang for a second

i dont like feeling anxious to where my chest feels where empty alsmot? does tumblr have a certain amount to how much you can type? iw onder of whell hope not.i might edit this text iiiddkk

i winder if i was unmasking i dont know yesterday ahe said why do you have an attitude it was because i didnt take my medication not because of the miney that stupid it didnt feel real life mever feels real anyways so it doesnt matter? i felt like almost not being here but mo because i font know what awaits me in death.

fucking hipster fa- i should reallychange my usernamw i think i need to type faster hahah than i can type not normal i font care tbh i can be myaelf here without judgement unlike life i hate life because people judge people too much like you dont know me yet you mock me because of my voice or the way i look

i guess i sometimes feel bad because im werid or different but that's because i guess ir isnt recived by the public as socially acceptable but i gues its okay because wveryone is different right?

im cold and im twichtuimg/moving

i guess i got moved in my marh class idk shy magbe its like my english class wbere theres different places/groups for certain levels?

i dont know but um i think ill skip english/6th period for my own sake of my mental health?

i domt wanna be bullied or mocked because of me just living its like please let me be i canf stand up to them because itll make things worse but its okay i guess ewie random uncomfy feeling in my body ack itll be otay it eventually goes away j down know whag 2 do

i wont lie i kinda like beinf different from towth people sometimes but i also dont sometimes but its okay because i have people that im friends woth people thag are kinda like me so that makes me happy gouss ooo new way to spell guess hehe

this is scary bro this man still creps me out sorry mike

i feel like i have to stop myself sometimes from being 2 weird because o dont wanna weird out the people that are my friends

okay okay im dine inmeed to put my things im order first ts second mm third ma?

lol hw was high in it

funny enough mars popped up and i was looking om mm ahh my stomach feels weird bruh djsjfnsj

how i feel

did i write too much?

hope mot

Hey so I know you lost interest in the 1d/larry fandom and were lucky enough to have another interest to jump right into, but any advice for someone who is pretty miserable in that fandom but can't seem to sever the ties completely yet? It's just been years of my life you know? And it feels like such a waste to just up and leave. Idk, also I know this is a me issue but I don't really vibe with the people that Harry and Louis turned out to be. At least publicly. I'm a big ball of sad and would love some guidance if you're up for it.

hello anon! let me just say i completely understand the way you feel, 1d has been apart of my life since 2012 and the fandom is something that i always thought i would be apart of.

im sorry that you’re feeling sad about moving on, but i still say that no matter what 1d will always be apart of your life! 1d will always be apart of my life, especially because of the different friends it's brought me when i really needed a community to fit in when i was younger. all my friends i met through 1d i still consider my friends, i still talk to them! you don't have to leave them behind even if you don't share the same interest anymore! and the music is still there! i will ALWAYS love their music and i will always listen to it.

also you don't have to see it as a waste to just leave because it hasn't been a waste! in my head i think that it served it's purpose up to this point of my life and that it's just time for me to move on to things that really make me happy now. also you dont have to deleted your blog/erase all my 1d stuff from your life it can still be there! i still get notifications on here that ppl are reblogging my 1d gifs and it brings me joy to see it!

i know ive said this a few times but it took my 4 years of feeling miserable in this fandom for me to finally leave so it hasn't been an all around quick process either! i was still making content, i was quick to gif whenever one of them did something. i was still making gifs of them towards the end of the year! i did get really lucky that dan and phil started uploading around the time i was thinking about leaving so i did have something to jump into right away, and it's completely okay if you don't! and again i just want to say it's not been a waste!!!! it's just you growing up and moving on and that's okay!

to your last point...the biggest reason why i decided to leave is their complete silence on the genocide happening in palestine, and i realized speaking up was more important to me than anything and the fact that they haven't and don't seem to care even though louis has the anarchy symbol tattooed on him (lol) and harry seems to only attach himself to causes either after he's been pushed (blm) or things that are deemed safe politics (gun control in america) and yet still won't say anything about palestine when he has zionst allegations (which i know are old)...i don't know, all i can hope is that they've educated themselves but im just not putting all my eggs in their basket anymore. i don't know who these men are and im just fine watching them do whatever from the sidelines.

ive stopped feeling disappointing and upset at what they do because i realized i don't want them to be the be all and end all to my happiness on any given day

i hope that this was at least somewhat coherent enough and dont be afraid to message me or send another anon!!! i hope your journey of leaving 1d behind goes smoothly for you!!! also do some little things like stop following their update accounts and turn off notifications for them on twitter/ig! i stopped following their update accounts on here and on twitter + i still follow them all but i havent had their notifications on in about 3 years!

smh do not feel guilty about it! unorthodox or not its a fun ship and idk! i like it ! and you like it! so thats good enough, u dont have to justify it to anyone. i personally think of it as same universe bc i just loooove time travel shenanigans. actually, i like thinking of both !! lol, like the fic i have in my head is uh basically no raccoon city incident re2 leon and ofc canon re6 leon. id talk about it but id simply explode thinking about them. i love them so much.

also do NOT get me wrong while i do prefer re2 and re6 leon, i would snatch up ANY leon before he could even BREATHE. and when i say *any* leon i mean *any. leon.* i am not physically capable of being normal about him. i am a very loud and proud leon lover. :3

hehe i wont lie i do have some thoughts ab di leon and re6 or vendetta leon, honestly any leon but its stronger for those 2 LOL. di leon...<3

anyways im rambling! im glad it made you happy to get an ask! i LOVE talking to ppl ab leon and also just. idk if i see stuff i like i want to say it!!! i KNOW you do stuff for YOU and bc YOU enjoy it but i also know how good it feels to hear that other people also enjoy it! i love being loud and proud ab stuff i like and i want others to be loud abt it w me 🐕

Ooowee thank you!!! Also I see what you mean about the same universe thing ands that's perfectly fine with me! Everyone has what they like-- I kinda like your fic idea too. Its neat! Oh..yes! Me too! I'd snatch them up in a heartbeat and pet em (with their permission of course, otherwise i'd make some hot coco for each one!). He's been my groove for awhile now and I love him so much. Leon lovers unite! DI leon really is something lol He's just... ugh!!! I can't even describe him. Cool as hell though? I love him! RE6 and DI always got my heart. Vendetta gives me cat vibes fr. Hey! No need to feel bad about rambling! I love listening and rambling always makes me happy cause its always interesting to me. I ramble or make 0 sense lol My thought process for what I make is "If there's nothing for it, then make it yourself!" and I apply it to everything hehe. I even have my own Leon bot to at least do stories with (fight scenes, what ifs, and just RE universe shenanigans with other characters). Also plan on making my own figures soon. Theres a Masterpiece RE6 Leon I'd love to buy but its well over 400 USD-- ouch lol. So I'll make one myself too.I enjoy what I make because it makes me alll happy inside and tickles my critter brain lol and thank you so much!!! Loud and proud all the way ftw! (Ah I'm unfamiliar with Tumblr culture since I haven't been on here in over 5 years. Its so different compared to twitter where im usually gnawing at my cage hehe. Tumblr gets what i don't post for my friends to see.)