#obviously both of them had the experience of being brainwashed | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

xcaptain-winterx · 1 year

Note

Requests are open you say? How about Steve Rogers having a huge crush on the new recruit (reader) and being very awkward in trying to pursue her

Be a man

Steve Rogers x reader

summary: above

warnings: fluff, awkwardness, shy Steve, cum

a/n: English is not my first language, meaning you will probably find a lot of misspelling etc.

Part 2

Main Masterlist Steve Rogers Masterlist

Steven Grant Rogers also known as the hero Captain America. Fought against Hydra and their leader Red Skull, his brainwashed best friend, Ultron, his own team and even Thanos. You would think that Americas golden boy is unstoppable, that nothing can stop him.

You’re wrong.

See, Steve has years of experience in fighting due to the fact that he’s over a hundred years old and fought in World War Two. The only thing he doesn’t know about, or to be more specific, doesn’t have any experience with, is the opposite sex. Steve has never been on a date or had a real first kiss. Ok, yeah, he kissed Peggy and Natasha once, but that meant nothing. God, he’s still a virgin.

To sum it up, Steve is an awkward bean around women. He doesn’t always show it obviously, but ask him something not work related with a flirty smile, and he starts to sweats like a polar bear in the desert.

Steve always thought that he was going to be able to talk to ‘the girl’ once he saw her, that he will have no problem to communicate with her.

He thought wrong.

Steve is in the training room, punching the punching bag until it falls off again. He was supposed to be training with Sam, but he hasn’t shown up. So far, Sam always showed up or at least texted him if something came in between and he couldn’t make it. Steve stops hitting the punching bag and goes over to the bench where his phone is laying. He picks it up and swipes it open, seeing that he didn’t receive any text message from Sam.

It’s not normal for Sam to be late, so Steve decides that he’s going to look for Sam. He puts his phone in his pocket and walks out of the gym, in the direction of the living area.

As he walks down the hallway Bucky crosses his path, “Hey pal, have you seen Sam”, Steve asks.

“No, but I can imagine he’s talking to the new recruits, telling them something about teamwork makes the dream work, or some other shit”, Bucky says, mimicking Sam’s voice.

Steve’s brows furrow; what new recruits? Steve heard nothing about new recruits. “I don’t know anything about new recruits?”

“Transferred from a SHIELD base in Germany, I think. Sam will probably force us to introduce us to them”, Bucky says. Steve knows that it’s hard for Bucky to talk or communicate with new and many people at once, but he knows that he’s trying his best. Since he began going to therapy, his old self made more and more of an appearance, and Bucky feels a lot better in general even though it’s hard sometimes. He’s proud of Bucky. He’s trying his best.

“Better we do it now than later. Come on, Buck”, Steve says, patting his shoulder, and pulling him with him.

Bucky lets out a chuckle, “Ok”.

Both super soldiers walk towards the meeting rooms, thinking they might be there when Bucky suddenly stops walking. Steve looks at Bucky, silently questioning why he stopped. Bucky reads Steve’s facial expression before pointing towards the end of the hallway, “found him”.

Steve follows Buckys finger and sees Sam. Sam is not alone, he’s with a woman. A beautiful woman. A goddess.

Bucky sees Steve’s face heating up. “You good, pal?” he asks with a teasing voice. Steve doesn’t answer him, to lost in the woman’s beauty next to Sam. Bucky snaps his fingers in front of Steve’s face, trying to get him back to reality, but it doesn’t work.

Lost in thoughts, or to be more specific the woman, Steve doesn’t see how Sam noticed them too, and is calling them over.

“Steve!”

Steve comes back to reality when Sam calls him for the third time. Bucky laughs at Steve’s confused puppy stare, looking like he just woke up from a coma without any knowledge of what happened before. It gets worse as they see how Sam and the woman are now walking towards them. Bucky feels Steve panicking next to him. “Hey Steve, calm down, ok?” Bucky whispers to him.

“Mhm”, Steve answers, not being able to form any words. Sam and the Woman getting closer and closer to them.

“Remember, we just introduce ourselves” Bucky tries to calm him down, his own anxiety leaving and instead focusing on helping his friend, “You can do this. Just remember to think and talk at the same time, and don’t just stare at her”. If his friend wasn’t looking like a dead fish Bucky would’ve really enjoyed this moment. Him helping his friend talk to a woman like he did back in the 40s, but nothing about Steve’s current problem is funny. Well, maybe the fact that he for real looks like a dead fish.

“Ok” Steve says.

“Ok”

“You can do this, Steve”

“Ok”

And the woman gets closer and closer.

Steve begins to murmur what he wants to say, making Bucky look nervously at him.

The woman and Sam are now almost completely by them as Steve suddenly says, “I need to finish the mission report”, before sprinting the other direction.

“Hey, why did Steve-“ Sam can’t finish because Bucky is already sprinting after Steve, leaving him and the woman utterly confused. “BUCKY!”

Sam puts his hands on his hips, “normally they are not like this, ok? They probably just remembered to take their anti-aging cream”. He turns to you, “Super soldiers, you know”.

You smile as Sam claps your shoulders and says, “how about I show you the training room?”. You nod, letting him lead you to the training room.

Meanwhile, Steve is sprinting towards his room, looking like a gazelle who’s running away from a predator. Steve thought he could talk to her, but no.

Once he reaches his room, he locks the door, and then just stands there, staring at the locked door; what just happened? He begins to hyperventilate like how his pre serum self did when he had an asthma attack. The room feels like it’s shrinking. Steve feels small and scared. Just the sight of the woman made him with a snap of a finger feel like his weak 40s self before the serum. Back when no one liked him.

While Steve is having a panic attack, Bucky is running towards Steve’s room. Bucky started running after him some seconds after he sprinted away, and normally Bucky would’ve caught up to him, but Steve’s panic and the super soldier serum made it a bit difficult. Luckily, Bucky knows Steve like no one else and knows that he’s hiding in his room.

“Steve?” Bucky asks, knocking on the door. “You good, pal? Can I come in?”. He waits, but no answer comes, so he tries opening the door but it’s locked.

Bucky sighs, “Steve, let me in”.

On the other side, Steve is debating if he should let his best friend in. His debating goes too long for Bucky though because the next thing Steve hears is Bucky saying ‘Friday unlock the door’, and the door opens.

Bucky walks in, seeing a teared eyed Steve who’s breathing fast and heavy. Bucky strikes over to him and pulls him slowly down to the floor, sitting face to face with each other. He takes his hand and puts it on his heart, “Steve, hey. Focus on me. Focus on my heartbeat. You feel mine?” Bucky says, putting his other hand on Steve’s heart, feeling how his heart is still beating fast. “Steve, focus on my heartbeat”.

Steve looks at his friend and tries to focus on his heart. He closes his eyes, only trying to listen to Bucky’s heartbeat. “Yeah, I feel it”.

Bucky gives him a smile, “ok, good”.

They sit in silent for a few minutes, Steve’s heart beating now slower and his breaths coming out normally.

Bucky waits until Steve’s heartbeat is fully back to normal before asking “better?”.

Steve nods, “I didn’t think we would have had to use that method on me”, he says chuckling.

This calming method showed Bucky’s therapist, Steve. She told him that it would help Bucky calm down when he’s having a panic attack, and it did in fact help. The night after she explained it to him, Bucky woke up from a nightmare and started to panic. Steve’s room is right next to him, so he heard his friend’s panic. He tried the method that night and it worked perfectly. It took some while until Bucky calmed down, but it was way faster than without the method, and Bucky was able to fall asleep again after.

To other people, this method may look a bit weird, but it calms his best friend down, so who cares? It’s also no surprise that Steve is the only one allowed to do this method. Sam once tried it and Bucky punched him in his face when he put his hand on his chest. Sam left the room angrily and annoyed with a broken bloody nose. Bucky punched him with his metal arm. He thought Sam was in danger that second and in a state of danger he uses his metal arm. Bucky apologized to Sam though, and he truly felt bad and sorry. Sam instantly forgave him though, he knows it wasn’t his intention.

At least not in that situation.

Bucky even ‘baked’ Sam some brownies. Well, more like bought some Brownies and said he baked them. Sam knew he didn’t, but said nothing and just enjoyed eating some good, tasteless brownies with a smile on his face.

“Well, we didn’t think you would ever run away from a girl”.

Steve sighs, “Yeah. Back then, they would run away from me. Now it’s me running away”

“Why did you?”

Steve shakes his head. “I don’t know. I got scared I guess?”.

When Steve looks at Bucky again, he comes to face with a blank stare. It kinda reminds him of Bucky’s winter soldier stare. If they weren’t having an emotional and serious conversation, Steve would’ve been actually concerned that something happened that made Bucky go into Winter Soldier mindset.

Bucky scares Steve when he suddenly jumps up, “You know what” he pulls Steve up, almost making him fall over “You will have that girl”.

“Huh?” he asks, confused.

“Or just someone”.

He doesn’t like the thought of Bucky helping him. Bucky was a true player back then, a gentleman, but a player.

“I help you talk to women. I can do that. I did that a hundred years ago” he stops when he realizes “fucking hell, that’s a long time ago”.

Steve scowls, “Language, Buck”.

“Sorry”.

“I get that you’re trying to help me, and I appreciate that” Steve takes a deep breath before continuing, “but I can’t”

“Why?” Bucky asks crossing his arms, standing like an angry parent.

“I just can’t, ok? Also, colleges are not allowed to be in a romantic relationship”.

“Then look for someone else. There’s this woman named Leah. She works at my favorite sushi place and I heard-“

“I don’t want someone else!”

Bucky raises an eyebrow, a teasing grin on his face. “Ohhhh, so you want her. Ok, Steven. I see you”. He winks at Steve as he groans.

“I didn’t say that. I just-ugh, I like her, but-there’s not gonna be anything between us” he tries to give his best friend a reassuring smile, but knowingly fails. “You can ask Leah out”, Steve tries changing the topic.

“No, she’s not my type”.

Bucky knows that Steve won’t stop having a crush on the new recruit. It took Steve a hundred years to get over Peggy. He was still in love with her even after being unfrozen. Now imagine he’s thinking about the new recruit until he dies. Bucky doesn’t want that. God, he was honestly happy when Peggy passed. That woman was like a snake slithering her way into his friends heart only to poison it. He didn’t like her from the second she interrupted Steve and his conversation. Dumb Bitch.

He wants his friend to be happy. He wants to be an uncle. He hopes Steve will get himself together and talk to her.

“Ok. Whatever you say”, Bucky says, patting him on his shoulder. They continue talking, but this time about what movie they are going to watch for their ‘we need to learn about cinematic history’ movie night. While talking, Bucky’s mind continues to wander back to their original conversation, and about the fact that Steve doesn’t want some dating teaching from him. In all honesty, he’s slightly hurt by that.

He could still help him somehow, though.

It’s been a week now since he saw the new recruit and he’s been trying to avoid any situation that could lead to him seeing her. Steve knows it sounds silly, but he’s scared of her. Scared of seeing her. Scared of her seeing him. He hasn’t been training for a week. Steve knows the chances are high that she will be there. The only sort of trying he did this week was going for a run. Alone.

Sam noticed a change in Steve. Everybody did. Steve was never a huge extrovert and now he’s such an introvert. He doesn’t even eat with them anymore because she could be there, or just walk past them eating.

Today he needs to be brave, though. Bucky asked him to train together because he’s the only good match for him. Bucky told him that winning against Sam slowly starts to get boring, and that Steve needs to train again. Cardio is good, but Steve needs to do more.

After trying to convince Bucky that they can also train outside or anywhere else than the training room, he knew from Bucky’s reaction that it’s not gonna happen. So now he’s on his way to meet Bucky in the training room.

To say Steve is nervous is an understatement, he’s almost shitting his pants.

Bucky assured him they would have the room for themselves and Steve just hopes that that’s true.

Steve walks into the gym and surprisingly sees no one. No Bucky. Steve was already late because he was nervous, so it confuses him why Bucky isn’t here. He looks at the clock on the wall and sees that he’s sixteen minutes late, meaning Bucky is to late too.

“Maybe he’s still asleep”, Steve tells himself. Technically, he would be happy that Bucky is able to sleep, but it’s the first time since a week that he’s training and last time, Sam already didn’t come.

He is just about to go to Bucky’s room when he hears a soft voice.

“Well, it’s only seven in the morning”.

Steve turns around and freezes.

It’s the woman

Oh, no no no no no

“Every normal person would be asleep at this time”.

Steve is unable to speak, he’s just staring at her. Not even blinking, just staring.

She looks at him with a smile, waiting for an answer, or just something.

When Steve realizes that she’s waiting for an answer, he clears his throat. “Yeah, uhm-I uh, I mean he likes to sleep-uh- he can’t sleep that much and-uhm yeah. He normally only uhm-sleeps with me- Wait not like that-uh I mean, he just likes to sleep with me-no. He uhm, he sleeps better with-me-uhm because I’m a good sleep partner- no, I just-uhm. IM NOT GAY”.

Steve looks at her with wide eyes. He knows he just made a fool of himself, so he tries to save himself.

Tries.

“There’s obviously nothing wrong with liking-uhm men, but I’m not like that. Yeah, uhm I hate men- wait not hate men, I like them, but platonic like ha ha. I like woman. But I’m not a relationship-I uhm”, he doesn’t want to look like he is desperate for a relationship. She could think that he’s trying to ‘hit on her’. He believes that what it’s called, but you can never trust Tony. “I’m not into relationship- uhm, the romantic, uh, kind-just the other kind”

Now she looks at him with wide eyes. The only other non-relationship kind she can think of is the sexual one. She can’t believe that Captain Rogers, the golden boy, is such a man. The worst part is that Steve doesn’t understand what he just said and instead looks at her with a nervous smile. Poor boy thought it sounded more like normal relationship, platonic kind. It didn’t, though.

“You do you, I guess” she says, feeling incredibly uncomfortable. She didn’t think her first time meeting Captain America would be like this.

Steve sees that she’s not comfortable or at least confused by what he’s saying. Maybe she doesn’t like his answer.

So he continues to try to fix this conversation.

“I uhm I would like a relationship-with someone-uh I want to-“ he can’t say dancing, that sounds boring. He needs to come up with something that everyone does these days. Something that she would probably like “do Netflix and chill”.

Steve needs to get better at telling when he can trust Tony and when not.

“Oh, uhm” she doesn’t know what to say “that’s nice I guess”.

Right now, Steve would rather fight against HYDRA than talk to her. He can feel how he’s sweating. And if that already isn’t bad enough, he starts to really look at her. Oh boy.

She’s wearing tight black leggings with a matching black sport bra. She must’ve been already training for a while because he sees some drops of sweat on her chest area, running to her cleavage. Steve is directly looking at her cleavage, not taking his eyes off it.

He doesn’t notice that he’s looking at it, well, that he’s so obviously looking at it.

She puts her left hand on her right shoulder, acting like she’s massaging it, and not like she’s trying to cover her chest.

Steve’s eyes move to hers, and it only takes three seconds until realization hits him.

“Shit!” he screams, making her jump “oh, I’m sorry I didn’t want to scare you-I uhm, and I didn’t want to stare at your you know-chest. Not because they are not pretty, they are-NO Uhmmm, they uh. It’s just”.

Steve stops talking when the door opens and Bucky walks in with a smile on his face “Language, Steve. Good morning you two”. At least someone is having one.

“Morning”, she says, smiling at his best friend before walking away to lift some weight. Deep down they are both happy that Bucky saved them from the awkward situation, though, Steve is also sad because he wanted to talk to her, to have a chance, but he failed.

Bucky smiles after her, then turns to Steve. “Hey Steve, how are you?”

“You knew, didn’t you” Steve almost spats, his voice echoing throughout the training room. He turns around and sees how she is looking at them.

He quickly turns back around, facing Bucky, who just gives him an innocent smile. “What do you mean Steve?”. Bucky knows that Steve can’t say anything about that, due to the fact that she can hear everything they are saying.

Steve glares at him, grinding his teeth. “That you would be late”, he lies.

“Yeah”.

Steve wants to scream, but he can’t “why didn’t you tell me?” he asks, his veins showing.

“I texted you, Punk”, Bucky says as he walks over to get a punching bag.

Steve frowns; Bucky didn’t text him. He pulls out his phone.

Love❤️‍🔥- I’ll be a bit late

Send one minute ago

Steve cringes as he sees the name Tony and Sam saved Bucky on his phone. He would rather want Punk with that heart. Platonic style. He doesn’t know how to change it, though.

“Didn’t you see my message?” Bucky gives him a fake questioning expression. A teasing one.

“I must have missed it”, Steve says in a monotone voice “I mean it says you send it a minute ago. Bucky”.

“Oh, you know. The signal is quite bad here”

Steve closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. “Yeah, Bucky. You would’ve thought that Tony would’ve already handled it”.

Bucky snickers “Yeah”.

“Yeah”.

Bucky walks with the bag over his shoulder towards a hook to hang the bag on. He turns to look at Steve, a grin on his face when his eyes move to look behind Steve.

“Hey, how about you help her, Steve~”, Bucky says loudly.

Steve follows his eyes and sees how the recruit is struggling with moving some weights out of her way, so she can put the bench there to do some bench presses.

She looks at them and gives them a shy smile. “That would be kinda nice”.

Steve looks back at Bucky, panic in his eyes. Bucky gives him a big smile that says ‘yes’.

It’s time, it’s time to shine, Steve. He can do that, he can easily lift that.

‘Ok, Steve. Pull your ass cheeks together and help her’ he thinks to himself as he walks towards her. He stops in front of her, getting lost in her eyes for a second. This time he snaps back quickly though and moves the weights away.

“Thank you, Captain Rogers”, she says, his back still towards her.

“Mhm” he can’t bring out a single word. Instead of turning back to her, he sorts the weights, so she doesn’t see him blushing. “You-You’re welcome”.

He hears her getting on the bench and takes that as his cue to leave.

“Hey, Steve!”

Please, don’t Bucky.

“You should help her. Stay behind her to make sure that her arms don’t give in”

Steve doesn’t turn around this time. He can hear how she doesn’t lift any weight, meaning she is looking at them.

“Yeah, I uhm would, but- mission reports. I need to finish the mission report”, Steve lies “important stuff you know. Not like helping her isn’t important, but yeah. Avenger stuff is important….”.

It’s that second that Bucky realizes that Steve is the worst person in admitting his crush he ever met. The best friend he is, he needs to help him. “Oh, I already did them for you”.

Great, now Steve’s lie is a lie. Thank you, Bucky.

“No, I don’t think you did”, he tries to save himself “They were on my desk this morning, unfinished”

Good job, Steve.

“I did them this morning. We were on the same mission, Steve. Only one of us needs to do them” Bucky says, punching the bag “I send you a message”.

“No, you didn’t-“ he looks at his phone to see a message from Bucky.

Love❤️‍🔥-already did the mission report.

Send a minute ago.

Bucky knows Steve like the back of his hand. He knew what excuses he would use to try to flee the scene. A laugh almost leaves his mouth as he sees the face Steve is making. God, he missed teasing him.

“I thought you were asleep”.

“No, I wanted to finish it. You’ve been quite stressed the past week, and I wanted to lift some weight of your shoulders”.

“Thanks, James”.

The tension between them is noticeable. So noticeable that the recruit is more uncomfortable than when she was alone with Steve.

She gets their attention when she walks past them to grab her water bottle. “Have fun training”

“You already leaving?” Steve asks disappointed, sad that she’s leaving.

“Yeah, I’ve already been training before you both came. Also, I need to find Sam. He promised to show me the rest of the compound. I only saw half of the facility so far and don’t want to get lost at some point”, she says. So far she didn’t get lost because the most important areas were already introduced to her, but it’s better to know the whole compound. “Bye” she waves them before opening the door and walking through it.

No one says anything until the door closes. Bucky is the first to break the silence, “wow”.

“I know you did that on purpose!”

“I was trying to make you talk to her” he grabs his shoulder “I just want to help you. She’s a beautiful woman-“

“Hey!”

“See” Bucky says, “you’re jealous when I just say that she’s pretty. You have a crush on that girl, Steve”.

Steve sighs in defeat. “Ok, maybe”.

“I KNEW IT” Bucky screams, jumping like a little kid on Christmas morning “FUCK YES, STEVE”

“Language”

He stops jumping and looks at him. “You will get that girl. I promise” Bucky looks like he’s about to cry “oh my god, you’re all grown up”.

Steve lets out a slight laugh. It’s almost ridiculous how happy Bucky is that there’s a girl that he kinda likes. It reminds him of how they talked about their futures when they were little. They talked about carriers and family, and how they will be called uncle Steve and uncle Bucky by their best friends kids.

“Are you crying?” he asks, seeing Bucky wipe his eye.

“Pfff, no”.

Oh, he’s definitely crying.

“Calm down, Bucky. Just because I like her doesn’t mean that she likes me”.

“Yeah, because you’re just an Avenger, the symbol of America, a super soldier, owner of America’s ass-“

“Ok, I get it”. Steve isn’t dumb, he knows that people know him, that he’s quite famous; god he sounds like Tony. All this doesn’t make him the most liked person in the world, though, and not everyone fall for him. Not just because he has blond hair and some women like dark hair, or he is to old schooled and doesn’t know every new show on Netflix, or women are not into him because they hate male genitals and prefer women’s….parts. The shield only shows what he shows the world and not the people he cares about. He doesn’t show his emotional side with all his flaws.

“You like her, right” Bucky asks, knowing the answer.

“Yes, of course, but-“

“Then you will go to her and tell her that”. Bucky claps his hands. “You will tell her how much you like her. You will take her dancing and to the movies. Understand?”

“Yes, Sargent” Steve smiles.

“I know she’s the one. You will propose to her at sunset and give me some nephews and nieces”. Steve laughs at Bucky’s hyper fixation about his crush. Both of them are acting like two teenage girls.

“A uncle to Steve Jr’s and….uhm…what’s her name again”

“……”

“………..”

“……………”

“………you don’t know her name?”

“no, not really”. Well, that’s awkward.

“Oh my god, Steve”, Bucky is regretting his decision to help his friend “how about we start with you introducing yourself?”

“Bucky, please don’t do anything stupid”, Steve pleads. He doesn’t want Bucky to give him to much pressure. The thought of Bucky trapping them in a closet scares him, or him basically throwing him against her.

Bucky just looks at him confused. “You will do something stupid. I’m here to prevent that from happening”.

“Promise?”

“Promise” Bucky says showing Steve his hands “I swear on Sam’s life”.

Steve smile slowly falls and Bucky corrects himself “ok, I swear on uhm, your life”.

“I guess that’s ok”

Since then Bucky’s been on the mission ‘get a sister-in-law’, with no luck though. He thought being a wingman would be easier, but it’s not. Definitely not. Or he has just a bad person that he needs to help.

So far Steve had like four times eye contact, spoke two sentences in two conversations. The one sentence only being two words.

The best try so far was when Steve was in the kitchen, reading the newspaper, when she came and asked him if he could move a bit so she can get to the fridge, and Steve said ‘yes’. He said something, made eye contact, didn’t walk away and didn’t stutter. He didn’t even sweat! Steve did this on his own without him and for that he needs an applause.

And the worst try was when he was ‘forced’ to train with her.

“You can do this Steve”, Bucky whispers to Steve before giving him a pat on the shoulder and pushing him towards the mat.

Steve still hasn’t introduced himself yet, so Bucky thought it would be a good opportunity to see the skills of the new recruits and to train with them. Surprisingly, Steve is now sparring against his crush, the woman they still don’t know the name of.

Steve walks on the mat, giving a quick look over his shoulder to see Bucky giving him a thumbs up.

He takes a deep breath before saying, “Ok, come at me”.

To say he’s impressed is an understatement. He’s fascinated by her skills, by the way she moves with such grace. Instead of directly coming at him and trying to punch him, she moves around him. She does that the whole time, dodging every single move of him while he tries to land a hit on her, well, more like pinch her. He wouldn’t hurt her. Ever.

At some point Steve finally manages to get a hold of her, but she is quicker and kicks his one leg away and then uses his arms to lift her up and wrap her legs around his neck, bringing him down. Steve is now on the mat with her legs around his neck, her directly hovering over his face. Steve doesn’t know why, but he’s not complaining about this position.

He gets himself back together and uses his legs to his lower back of the mat and makes a roll, so now she’s on the mat, with him in between her legs.

Steve can be lucky that most of the recruits are already doing their own thing because this is not a professional normal work position. Sam, who just walked in, stopped next to Bucky when he sees the scene. He looks at Bucky and sees how he’s directly looking at where Steve’s face is.

“Stop doing your creepy eye thing”, Sam tells him, but Bucky simply ignores him. Sam is about to say something when he hears a loud slam, and sees her on top of Steve, straddling his hips “oh”.

This scene doesn’t last long though because Steve flips them around, now straddling her hips and pinning her arms above her head. She tries to move around under him, successfully. Her back towards and is about to use her knees to make him fall off. Steve thinks quicker though and flips them again. Her back against his chest and his back against the floor. He wraps his legs around each of her legs, making her unable to move them, while he wraps his arms around her neck, taking her in a headlock. She tries to wiggle away, but can’t.

She taps his arm, signaling him that he won. Steve lets her go, softly lifting her arm to help her up, and then getting up after her.

“Everything ok?” he asks, wanting to make sure that he didn’t hurt her in some kind. That would definitely make admitting his feelings harder.

“Yes”, she smiles at him, panting slightly, “thank you, Captain Rogers, for training with me”. The smile she gives him is a true, generous smile. Steve doesn’t see how Sam and Bucky are exchanging scared looks.

“Y-You don’t need to tank me”, Steve says. Now it’s the time to introduce himself; he can do it. He takes a deep breath before continuing. “And you can call me S-“

He gets pulled away by Bucky, forcefully getting pushed against his chest. Steve looks Bucky confused into his eyes as Bucky pulls him with him behind the corner, out of sight of her, with Sam walking next to them. All the way to behind the corner Bucky keeps Steve against him, while Sam blogs other from seeing Steve’s side.

“What are you doing? I was just about to introduce myself”

Sam looks at him with wide eyes. “Yeah, something else was also about to introduce himself” and points to Steve’s crotch.

Steve looks down and sees what Sam is talking about.

For the first time, the golden boy is having a boner. A huge one. The serum really did make everything bigger.

“Oh, no no no no” Steve goes.

“Hey, it’s ok” Bucky tries calming him down “it’s uhm normal”

“Yeah, you know how many boners I had in my life”, Sam continues.

“See, even Sam thinks so. Did you ever notice how often I had when we were out with some girls, or just when I was thinking about one”, Bucky continues, Sam nodding his head the whole time. Both giving Steve a smirk. “You have them everywhere. In the shower, during work, in bed, I even had them when we had a sleepover”.

“Oh my god” Steve hates talking about that. He doesn’t know what’s worst, talking about women things or about men and their boners. “I had it in front of her, in front of everyone” he cries out.

Sam pats his shoulder. “No one saw it”

“You did!”.

“Because we watched both of you”, Sam assures him. “The others did their own thing, and she looked in your eyes, man. Not what’s below Captain America’s waist”

“Maybe she felt it though”, Bucky says.

“Bucky!”

“Your not helping, man”, Sam shrugs and looks down “ok, maybe she did because you know, it’s not small”

“See, Wilson! You agree”

Steve had never been this embarrassed in his entire life. He covers his erection with his hands, but it only makes it more obvious. He’s trying to cover his boner while his two best friends are talking about his penis size and how often they get a boner. He wants to dig himself a grave.

“Guys!” Steve whisper screams, getting their attention back. “I need to get rid of it”.

“Of your giant boner?”

“Yeas, Sam. What else is there to get rid of?” Steve says. Bucky slaps Sam on the back of his head, with no context at all. “What was that for, Bucky?”

He shrugs “I know you would like to do that, but are too nice to actually do it”. Steve just wanted to have a nice day where he maybe finally managed to speak to the woman of his dreams, but no, everything had to go like shit. “What do I do?”.

Sam and Bucky look at each other before letting out an obvious loud breath of air. They turn to Steve. “Well, you could try to calm down” Sam says, and Bucky continues “or you could, you know, help yourself out”.

“No!” Steve doesn’t even want to imagine helping himself out. The simple thought disgusts him and he feels an incredible feeling of shame.

Steve shakes his head at them. “Tell me something, that helps uhm, the problem”.

“Remember when your mom caught us looking through her drawers and spanked you”.

“….”

“Are you getting harder?” Sam asks, looking at his now slightly bigger boner.

“N-no” Steve pushes with all might on his boner to get it down “s-say something else”. He begs his friends for help.

Bucky looks hopeless “I don’t know what to say to get her off of your mind”. Steve wants to say something when Sam holds up his hands.

“Hold up, her off of your mind” he says looking at Steve, “so it wasn’t just because you got a bit close to her”. The smirk on his face is huge, a teasing one.

Steve groans out of frustration and pain.

“You know, I could see you together”, Sam goes, giving him a thump up.

“I know, but he’s too afraid to ask her. He couldn’t even introduce himself”.

“You didn’t introduce yourself to y/n?”

Steve looks at him and repeats her name softly. Y/n. Your name sound like an angel, a page out of the Bible that you worship and say as a pray. He would do that. Say your name like it’s a holy prayer. He wants to say your name again again and again. Whispering your name in your ear as you slowly share a kiss.

“Shit” Bucky says. He thought that Steve’s boner couldn’t get any bigger, but he was wrong. So wrong. It’s now almost twice as big as before. “Sam, why did you say that?!”

“I didn’t know this was going to happen! I just said her name. I didn’t think he would get hard because of a name”.

“Well, he did!”

They hear people coming into the training room. A lot by the sound of their talking. At least fifteen entered the room. Now you add them three, plus y/n and plus the seven recruits that were already in here. That makes twenty-six people. Two, Sam and Bucky, already saw Steve’s boner.

“Guys!” Steve screams “what do I do?!”, hiding more in the corner.

“Obviously getting her out of your head doesn’t work”.

“How about you stay in front of me while I walk out”.

Both shake their head “they would see you though and stare at you. Also, there are too many. You wouldn’t make it out unnoticed”.

“What if I wait until they leave”.

“Steve, they will eventually walk to this corner when they get more weights, and then see you”

Steve looks hopeless. “Bring me some pants that- I don’t know, doesn’t show my you know”.

“Steve…nothing can hide that boner”, Sam says “there is only one option”.

“What?”

“you could…help yourself out, Steve”

“No”

“Steve, please”

“No”

“Pal, listen-“

“No, Bucky. I can’t do that. I can’t just touch my…member…and..bring myself pleasure”, Steve hates talking about it. “How am I even suppose to do it?!”

“You take your dick in your hand and hold it tight, then you start to move your hand up and down. Personally, I would advise you to do it fast but-“

“I meant where!” he covers his ears trying to forget what Bucky just said. Though he learned something new. “I can’t just do it here, it would..spill”

Sam looks around until he sees something that could help “take this to collect your sperms”. He shows Steve an empty probably by someone forgotten water bottle.

“But-“ Steve knows that this is the only way and that he should accept it, but he doesn’t want to “fine”.

“I wait around the corner so no one walks over here, while Bucky makes sure you don’t get a heart attack” Sam says, winking before walking around the corner. Bucky gives Steve a slight smile before turning around. He doesn’t need to see his best friend Masturbate.

Surprisingly, Steve isn’t that loud. Sam only heard him once or twice a bit louder. One time he was screaming Bucky’s name because he turned around for a second.

Sam walks over to them when Bucky gives him a thump up. Steve is sitting on the floor, panting heavenly. Next to him, a completely full to the top water bottle. Or more like cum bottle.

“Congratulations on your first orgasm, Steve”

They are on their way out now, happy that Steve doesn’t have a big gun in his pants anymore.

“Hey, Sam”

Fuck

“Hey, Y/n” Sam smiles, while Steve panics. He’s drenched in sweat and is holding a bottle of his own cum.

You smile at Bucky and Steve too. You look at Steve and see how he looks like he’s in pain and completely drenched. “Are you ok, Captain Rogers?”.

Bucky and Sam quickly cover him up. “Oh yeah, he’s fine, he just-“

“Is hungry!”

“Uhm yeah and you know how you can get sick when you didn’t eat”

“Yeah ya get really sick”

You stare at them for a second, trying to process what they said. “Oh, maybe you should drink your shake then, Captain Rogers”, and point to his ‘shake’, and give him a smile.

“I-“

Bucky stops Steve. “Yeah no, he will just get something from the kitchen, you know?”.

“Bucky’s right, uhm I don’t think that would be such a smart idea to drink the shake. Hah ha” Steve says awkwardly.

Your smile falls. “Oh, yeah sure. I just thought that would help. We don’t want you passing out”.

Was his answer mean, is what Steve thinks. He doesn’t want you to think he just didn’t drink the ‘shake’ because you said that. Steves heart pains as he sees your reaction; you looked so sad. It obviously isn’t that big of a deal. Surely you forget about it later, but what if you don’t? You don’t forget that he didn’t want to drink the ‘shake’. What if you think you’re dumb for asking that? He thinks for a second, a long second, a second that will change everything.

“You’re right”, and opens the cap.

#chris evans #steve x reader #steve rogers x you #steve rogers #steve rogers imagines #steve rogers x reader #steve rogers smut #steve rogers angst #steve rogers imagine #steve rogers fanfiction #steve rogers x reader fluff #steve rogers x y/n #captain america x y/n #captain america x reader #captain america x you #captain america #steven grant rogers

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chuunai · 2 months

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Need me some baby daddy fyodor..

baby daddy fyodor ! who knew you were pregnant before you knew. the signs of an expectant mother—much less his wife—were quite obvious and evident to him. morning sickness, tender breasts, all the works.

baby daddy fyodor ! who already has plans in motions to protect his soon-to-be family. naturally, a child of his shall not be targeted by the world’s sinners.

baby daddy fyodor ! who is more lenient and understanding of you. he’s more opt to you sitting on his lap as he works, or making the effort to eat at least one meal a day with you. parenthood is a shared experience, and for however cruel he may be—his cruelness never extends to you. mostly.

baby daddy fyodor ! who quickly finds himself enamored by your growing stomach. the thought that the changes in your body were because of him gave him a sense of pride and gleeful joy. had he not gifted you a child, you’d never go through this. but alas, he has.

baby daddy fyodor ! who sings russian lullabies to the unborn child. either that, or he’d play classical music on his cello. research showed the positive effects of music on a developing fetus, and of course he wanted his kid to have the best start in life. being a dostoevsky meant being miles ahead of the average person.

baby daddy fyodor ! who keeps the news private. other than his servants that had been thoroughly brainwashed and manipulated by him, no one knew about your pregnancy. for both the safety of you and your child. his anemic hands hold the future of the world in one hand, and an ultrasound photo in the other.

baby daddy fyodor ! who says he’ll speak to the baby in russian only. in order to have them fluent, they must hear the language from the moment their curious eyes open. he doesn’t mind whatever language you want to speak to them—it’d be better for them to know multiple languages anyway.

baby daddy fyodor ! who prepares for your eventual labor. being a known terrorist, he obviously can’t have you in a hospital. it’d leave behind plenty of documents and other information that may lead to potential problems. so, a birthing room is in order at a secret location far from the life that he relishes in. he has a doctor on standby—kept hostage for this very purpose—to watch over the process.

baby daddy fyodor ! who can’t wait to walk upon the re-formed world he’ll make with his two angels.

Tags:

@sinfulthoughtsposts, @twst-om-lover, @briars-castle

#bungou stray dogs #bungou gay dogs #aspiring writer #bsd x reader #bungo stray dogs x reader #bsd fluff #bsd tag #fyodor x reader #fyodor dostoyevsky bsd #bungou stray dogs fyodor #bsd fyodor #fyodor dostoevsky #bsd imagines #bsd #baby daddy #established relationship

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sacharinee · 11 months

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hey! so i’ve noticed all your office references and it’s one of my favourite shows ever <3 i was wondering if you’d write something where the reader and bf!peter are both obsessed with the show and quote it at any given moment, confusing (and probably annoying) everyone around them. i love your fics by the way!!

pairing: bf!peter parker x reader

w/c: 800 ish

a/n: dinnertime with the avengers edition! peter and reader being an annoying power duo. a crap ton of office references obviously. this is so weird and all over the place BUT it was so much fun writing. i tweaked ur request a teeny bit to them simply saying lines from the show, but everyone is just as confused and annoyed lmao i hope ur okay w that!! this is also my first time writing with the avengers so i tried my best on getting them right. thank u so much for requesting this!! i had an entire office marathon playing in the background while writing this

“the food looks great, nat,” you take your seat at the dining table.

“yea, it’s amazing, thanks for cooking tonight,” peter chimes in.

you both are sat at the dinner table in the lavish dining room among the earth’s mightiest heroes, who also happen to be your colleagues.

“wait, where did you learn to make all of this? i never pegged you as a cook,” tony questions.

“i’m not,” the redhead answers, “my fake mother used to make this dish all the time when i was younger,”

“awe, that’s adorable,” thor replies.

“right before she and my fake father sold me and had me brainwashed.”

the others freeze midchew and stare as scott drops his fork against his plate.

nat clears her throat, “so anyways, enjoy,” and takes her seat.

the rest of you begin placing heaps of food onto each other’s plates and digging into the meal in front of you.

“well, um,” tony sips his water, “how ‘bout you kids, get any good action tonight?”

peter raises his eyebrows at him, “us? oh yea, we got a good chase during patrol tonight,”

“it was super fun,” you add.

“well what’d he have on him?” wanda asks.

“he was, uhh,” you purse your lips as you hesitate, playing with the food on your plate and quieted your voice, “a-uh, a wanted animal rapist.”

wanda shakes her head at you in repulsion, regretting having asked you.

“that is so disgusting!” the god announces, food spilling out of his mouth.

“thor, close your mouth, you look like a trout.” steve reprimands.

he dismisses his comment and goes to steal the mashed potatoes, eating straight out of the bowl with no shame.

“did he put up a good fight against you guys?” bucky questions.

“well he wasn’t exactly intimidated by me, i usually let y/n play bad cop while i just web them up,” peter admits.

you’re chewing your food while you watch bucky and your boyfriend converse, “see what i told you? you gotta take control, pete. ask yourself this: would you rather be feared or loved by your enemies?”

“easy,” he answers, “both. i want people to be afraid of how much they love me.”

nat pokes her tongue to her cheek and tilts her head in confusion.

“oh, that reminds me,” you nervously chuckle and pull out the slip tucked into your back pocket, “i need you to pay for my speeding ticket, tony.”

“again?! y/n that’s the second time this month!”

“that criminal guy was a surprisingly fast driver. besides, life is short. drive fast and leave a sexy corpse. it’s one of my mottos.”

“goddamnit, y/n” tony mutters and shakes his head in disappointment.

steve interrupts, “you should listen to him, young lady. seriously, what would happen if you were in a speeding car crash? why do you think those laws are enforced? it’s to keep everyone safe. so you better straighten up the attitude before you get yourself k-”

“cap, you ignorant slut.” you’re tired of everyone treating you and peter like little kids, “you want to talk about being safe? are we forgetting about banner’s little experiment that went wrong the other day? he almost blew up the tower!-”

“wait, what did you just call me?” the soldier looks at you dumbfounded.

“what did i- … what’d i say?”

“you just called me a-”

“i don’t know what you’re talking about. i talk a lot so i learn to just tune myself out.”

“you and me both,” strange clips.

“wow,” you respond, feigning hurt, “sorry i annoyed you with my friendship.”

tony, having enough, intrudes, “you know, i think i have to put you and peter through some training again.”

the boy skeptically squints towards the man and chews his food slowly, “...what type of training?”

“sensitivity training. all this trash talk is-”

“oh my god, not again,” your head falls back as you groan, “i’ve changed, tony. i’ve learned to keep my unmannerly thoughts to myself every time i see someone wearing white socks and dark shoes.”

“uh that’s definitely not true,” bucky cuts in, “just yesterday you called me out for wearing sandals.”

“exactly! sandals! who the hell still wears sandals, you look like you just got off the boat. i don't need to see your hairy toes,” you shudder in disgust.

“yea, mr. stark,” peter reverts his attention back to tony, “we don’t talk trash,” he shrugs.

“we talk smack,” you finish.

“okay… and how are those two any different,” the man challenges.

“well,” peter clears his throat, “trash talk is hypothetical. like, ‘your mom is so fat she can eat the internet.’”

“totally,” you eagerly nod your head in agreement, “but smack talk is happening, like, right now. like, ‘you’re ugly and i know it for a fact ’cause i got the evidence right there,” your hand motions in a circle to the person in front of you.

“are you calling me ugly?” thor sniffles.

“i don’t know what the hell you just said, and i don’t even wanna know,” tony wipes his mouth with a napkin, “but it’s happening. nine am sharp, do not be late. it’ll be quick and easy, not that hard. you’ll be in and out without the attitude.”

you pout as you and peter give each other a dismay look.

“that’s what she said.”

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inficetegodwottery · 1 month

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I have so many people telling me to play Helldivers 2, and yet every time I tell them I just don't like the vibes of it and I played the first game and didn't like the satire, I get told I'm just not media literate enough, and that I obviously don't just get satirical treatments of overwhelmingly evil ideologies.

I've been a 40k fan since I was eight, and I've had tons of great friends and cool people into warhammer my whole life. I have dealt with countless fucking dipshits who were either outright fascists or /pol/-ass cryptofascists. I have also dealt with countless people who assume being a fan of any warhammer property is a mark of being a cryptofascist. Both of which are exhausting douchebags.

I'm also a fan of Starship Troopers, specifically the movie version that's a direct fuck you to the original author, and all the deconstruction and exploration of political propaganda that franchise has been able to put out over the years, especially its satire of the U.S.'s involvement in the Vietnam and Iraq wars.

In both of those communities, we have to constantly deal with the fact that parody (or really any portrayal) of an authoritarian ideology inevitably attracts real life fuckwit brainwashed members of that exact ideology who are all-in gung ho enthusiastic about the fictional authoritarian ideology of the setting. I'd like to think we do a good job. I'd like to think for every pasty teenage asshole screaming slurs at Eldar players, we've got ten more rational and emotionally mature folks who understand it's fiction.

So for a while I was inclined to re-examine my experience of the first game, and potentially give this new one a shot with the same caution and "media literacy" I apply to Warhammer and other games where you actively play as the villains.

...but then I actually looked up discussions of the game, and it was truly astonishing the number of times I saw supposedly levelheaded fans of the game shouting slurs (like libcuck K***), saying shit like (This is just another gamer gate/SMH why are there no straight pride flags), and typing stuff like "Kite Yams Street" at people who dared expressing their concerns at how the community actively glorifies some of the stuff in the game.

What really fucking disappointed me is how many upvotes and people agreeing with them there were, even on the main Helldivers communities.

As an example, from just a handful of Steam threads. (AND THEY ARE ALL FUCKING LIKE THIS)

These are some of the least gross examples I could find.

Virtually any topic on Reddit, Steam, Twitter, or Discord that even mentioned fascism indirectly becomes an absolute shitstorm, with Helldivers fans actively arguing with both people who think the game fails as a parody, AND with people openly, unironically, and EXPLICITLY self-identifying as fascists.

Because saying this game about authoritarian dystopia is attracting authoritarians is stupid and bad. There are no authoritarians in our community.

But also remember to tell the authoritarians in our community that they're stupid and bad.

I have to conclude that the Helldivers community is just instinctually hostile and dismissive to people who are in any way uncomfortable with the premise or delivery of the satire or the state of the community. "Stop putting politics in our political parody game!" I guess.

If your fandom is actively in a pitched civil war with openly avowed fascists within your community, you are not "just a parody," and it's extremely immature and hypocritical of the Helldivers 2 community not to openly admit to this issue and address it without screaming invectives at people who are scared off by it the same way Warhammer, Star Wars, and Starship Troopers have been able to in the past.

So let's just say now I don't feel bad in the slightest for being completely uninterested in Helldivers 2 anymore.

If I wanted to get slurs yelled at me over voicechat by a bunch of 20-something MAGA CHUDs I'd just reinstall Mordhau or Call of Duty. That I'm used to.

But it's one of the most depressing things in the world to get yelled at by self-identified leftists just cause I said a mean thing about their funny new Not-Starship-Troopers game and how it might, possibly, have attracted some of the exact sort of people they supposedly oppose.

#Helldivers #Helldivers 2 #40k #media literacy #satire #it's fucking exhausting #and I'm just sick of dealing with it #cw transphobia #cw racism #cw slurs #cw authoritarianism #cw fascism #cw basically everything utterly rancid

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cereal-before-milk · 2 years

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VAGINAS AND JAPAN

What would happen if in a country like Japan, which has a festivity on phallic symbols (Kanamara Matsuri), a woman decides to exhibit art whose main concept is the vagina? Maybe you already know the answer or you can imagine it or maybe not, anyway this is what happened to Megumi Igarashi, a mangaka, artist, sculptor, feminist and activist, whose mission is to free Manko.

❀ MEGUMI IGARASHI

also known by her stage name Rokudenashiko, which means good for nothing, she was born in Shizuoka prefecture, Japan, on March 14, 1972. Unlike her sister, who was a perfect girl, Megumi wasn't a good student, wasn't even good at sports and wasn't a very formal girl either. Igarashi was also bullied, although she was so insensitive that didn't even realize she was being bullied. In 1990 she moved to Tokyo to study philosophy at Kokugakuin University. Shortly after graduating in 1994, she began to devote herself to manga, even winning an award from the Kodansha publishing house in 1998. Making manga made her less and less excited due to the competitiveness, but Igarashi found a refuge in experience reporting manga or of reality (taiken rupo).

In 2002 Megumi got married so she began to introduce her sexual experiences into her works. She created a manga about infidelities (something that happened in their marriage on both sides) and as the society in which she lives they only get angry with women and men are usually forgiven, but very few people in Japan managed it understand, so didn't have many sales. When discussing her sexual experiences, she realized that no female mangaka drew pussys. Megumi says that all the feminist artists' portraits of vaginas she had seen were sad and dark, showing how difficult it is to be a woman, but she wanted to show a more cheerful and colorful vision of the vagina and make it a pop icon, just like the penis in her country.

Igarashi had a complex about her own vagina, as she had never seen another one before and thought her might be abnormal. More or less there came the idea of starting to make molds and art on her vulva. At first the artist was a bit cautious, but when she started receiving a lot of negative reviews and comments like "you must be a really horny girl", she jumped at the idea of dedicating herself to making art with her manko (Japanese slang for refer to vagina).

Megumi wants women to be able to talk about their pussy freely. "Most Japanese women have been brainwashed by their parents since they were children to think that their body, especially their vagina, is obscene. Boys are allowed to talk about the penis easily, even in public, but girls are not allowed. Parents forbid it. I think it leads women to think that our sexual organs are shameful and dirty. If women had more freedom to talk about their vagina, they could ask to use a condom, discuss sexual illnesses, their problems, etc. without being embarrassed, since people feel uncomfortable just hearing man(ko), but the same doesn't happen when they hear the word penis". Verbatim words from her blog 6d745.

❀ MANKO ART

As I said before the main theme of Rokudenashiko's art is her Manko. With that idea always being the center of her artistic concept, she has designed a lot of objects from necklaces, bracelets, to cell phone covers or even a remote-controlled robot.

Within her art collection in 2011 a series was born that she calls Deco-man, which is a play on words between decoration and manko. It basically consists of making molds of her vagina, decorating them and turning them into dioramas where her vagina is subtly camouflaged, like on that golf course or on the moon.

Her star work is a 2 meter Kayak called Pussy Boat. She even cost her freedom to carry it out.

And how can we forget about Manko-chan, her beloved pop icon. A very striking figure with a funny (obviously) slightly anthropomorphic pussy shape that has a manga and a lot of merchandising such as: floats, clothes, figures of different colors, plushies, etc.

She also organizes workshops for women who are interested in learning more about their vagina. And they don't need to bring materials, since Megumi prepares everything.

❀ HOW DID SHE BECOME AN ALLEGED CRIMINAL?

In July 2014, the mangaka was arrested at her home and all her works were seized for violating Japanese law against obscenity. It all begins in 2013 when she wants to raise money through crowdfunding to carry out her star work, a Kayak (pussy boat) with which to take walks.

To all the people who contributed to the project, she sent the data of her vagina so that they could make the 3D project, but despite the fact that it was something artistic / for work, it violated the laws of obscenity, since in Japan it is forbidden to share your private parts. Obviously, Igarashi didn't think her detention was fair at all, since sharing data isn't obscene at all. "My vagina is no different from my legs or my arms," She claimed to the police. And of course it was not fair at all, since the police and the press, from a corrupt system, violated her rights and criminalized Megumi for an act that she didn't even initially have, political, vindictive and far from obscene intentions.

She spent 10 days in jail, during which time a total of 21,000 signatures were collected online to drop the charges against Megumi, and a week later she was released. But on December 3 of that same year, she was arrested again along with Minori Watanabe, a feminist writer and sex shop owner, for displaying an "obscene" object, a plaster replica of Pussy Boat, in Watanabe's store. (everything in a sex shop could be considered obscene, don't bother). On December 24, Igarashi was charged with "exhibition of obscenity", "electromagnetic obscenity recording" and "distribution of electromagnetic obscenity recording medium" and was finally released on bail on the 26th. In 2015 the trials took place to declare her guilty or not guilty.

A couple of curiosities that I have read on her Twitter is that of the 3 judges of the supreme court who handled her case over the years, all were men and in Japan there are also women in the supreme court and also that since she was bored between trial and trial looked for a part-time job.

*a part is not guilty* Photograph: Kazuhiro Nogi

In 2016 she was found not guilty, because as the Kayak had such a striking decoration and color it was difficult to relate it to a pussy. She still had to pay a fine of ¥400,000 (€2,800 / $3,100) for having shared her vagina data and everything that the police had seized from her was returned and Megumi was finally able to navigate her kayak.

Had she been found guilty, she would have faced 2 years in prison and a fine of ¥2.5 million ($19,400/€18,000), a disproportionate punishment considering what she did. In 2021 Megumi Igarashi could already breathe without worry since she had her last trial (she could still have gone to jail), she paid the fine and is finally free. But not everything was a punishment for Igarashi, thanks to the fact that her case went viral and reached many parts of the world, Mike Scott, singer and guitarist of The Waterboys, became interested in her, he is currently her husband and they both had a son. So for Megumi being arrested became a kind of Tinder.

❀ WHAT IS OBSCENITY? 2016

French edition/ spanish edition

Megumi Igarashi narrates in this manga a bit of her life, everything that led her to make art with her vagina, the days she was in prison and the injustices and absurd situations she has experienced.

Obscenity is full of very interesting reflections on the female body and why it is considered obscene. Spoiler alert: because the man only sees them as a sexual object, but Rokudenashiko proves that it is just another body part. "They can be erotic, but they can also be funny, empowering or adorable."

The manga It a strong criticism of Japanese society, although it can also be applied to many others (I think the whole world shares taboos towards the vagina, maybe not in the same way, but in essence). This criticizes hypocrisy, since of course penises and vaginas are not the same, but not only in form and function but also because of how they are treated/represented in society. Megumi questions the reason for this, because the vagina is disgusting and is never portrayed, why it is talked about with disgust or even it seems as if it is forbidden to talk about it because it generates rejection and yet the same thing doesn't happen with the penis.

A couple of details that catch my attention is how the "Good for nothing" hides her anger with humor. In fact, humor is also used to cover up situations of criticism and injustice and thereby demonstrate the strength of the author, she applied the best way to laugh rather than cry. The other detail is how she never gives a conclusion. This manga that borders on the documentary, doesn't have absolute answers, only guidelines through personal experiences so that you can draw your own conclusions and be more or less on her side. She doesn't try to force you to have her same ideals.

What is Obscenity? is an excellent choice if you want to eliminate the taboos that your society has put in your head about the pussy, see the vagina with different eyes, normalize it, appreciate it much more and turn it into something pop.

Just say thank you Megumi Igarashi and FREE MANKO! <3

#feminist #feminism #Megumi igarashi #Rokudenashiko #free manko #3d art #japan #manga #manga recommendation #I love this woman so much

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misstycloud · 1 year

Text

Yandere!Chef HC

=============

Character: Adam James-Lively

:::::::::::::::::

° Adam is your run-of-the-mill chef. He has his own restaurant in the city, which is one of the most popular ones in the area. His food is just that good, it will melt on your tongue and the savoury taste will haunt you for the rest of your life and force you to come back. It's great for business.

° Being busy in maintaining the restaurant he never really had time getting out there, you know. Going on dates and such was never an option for him, not if he wished to keep his establishment. Which was something he couldn't risk losing since it had been his dream for a very long time, ever since he was a young boy.

° It's not like he wanted to live alone for the rest of his life, he would die of happiness to have someone to love him for him and be able to come home to a set of warm open arms. But sadly the conditions hindered him from reaching out and search for the one. Adam is a romantic at heart, his other dream besides being a chef is to experience the love he witnessed his parents give each other.

° growing up in a home where his parents openly displayed deep affection for one another, it obviously rubbed of on their son. Compared to most kids who expressed disgust when seeing their parents kissing or hugging, he thought it was cute and felt lucky to have been born in a loving family. They always said they were soulmates and when they met they instantly knew they belonged together. It made him long to grow up and find his true love.

° Adam believed he would have to give up on that dream and focus on his career until he died. But you restored hope in his heart. You made it beat wildly and uncontrollably. He'd hoped for love all his life and he finally got it, but he didn't know it'd be so...strong. So...overwhelming.

° How you met is quite obvious, you decided to visit his restaurant together with a friend after seeing a post online referring to the place and becoming interested. Adam somehow got sight of you and thought you seemed like a lovely and kind person, and he was right. Listening of conversations after being intrigued by you, he found out you were exactly how he believed you'd be. Becoming more and more engrossed in you to the point you were plaguing his mind every day.

° He began watching you every time you sat foot inside his restaurant which eventually turned into more, he followed you to other places.

° As a chef, cooking and sharing his self made dishes with others is natural. But it meant nothing if he could please you with his skills. The thought of you enjoying his creations gave him that incredible feeling of both pride and joy. He’ll cook for you anytime you want and put lots of love and care into it. It was you after all, not some nameless customer that he saw on a daily basis.

° He is without a doubt one of the sweetest boyfriends you could have, he’ll cook for you, do some cleaning, and spoil you to his content. You think he’s a little overbearing? No no, he’s simply looking after you. He loves you so much he can’t stop! You take that he’s too jealous at times? They’re trying to get between you, he can’t let them. It’s too hard to be with him, you can’t take it much longer. You realise he isn’t the best boyfriend that you initially thought and begin to distance yourself from him, when he confronts you about it you play it off and asks what he is talking about. Too bad he can easily read you, it won’t work. He knows you’re avoiding him on purpose.

° He will try everything in his power to find out what exactly is wrong and why you’re pulling away from him. But every time he asks you ignore him and go to busy yourself with something else. He’ll try again and again. But there’s only so much he’ll take until he won’t.

° Adam will have to channel his emotions somewhere, and that is towards your friends. The ones who must have put you up to it. The ones who must have brainwashed you into distancing yourself.

° He always wondered if people would be able to differ animal meat from their own.

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thefloatingstone · 1 month

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Question, so far in BG3 what do you think about each companion and who is your favorite ? Personally, like many, I pick Karlach !

I like the companions but I am still figuring them out (which is funny considering I have 50 hours into the game which is longer than the entirety of Mass Effect 1).

Lae'zel - Completely out of her depth culturally but at this point unaware of it. Very black and white in her thinking regard right and wrong... and yet surprisingly VERY quick to move someone from the "wrong" side in her head over to the "right" side. I was shocked by how she instantly liked Karlach the second Karlach explained her situation to us, and had 0 problem in immediately being like "this is a good one." despite her history. Thinks she's big and tough but is actually just a tsundere. Reminds me of Worf.

Gale - shockingly quick to latch on and trust people. To a degree that suggests he's a little bit desperate for affection. However it's not manipulative or anything, it's very genuine. He just trusts too quickly and will drink up any positive interaction like a man dying of thirst. possible praise kink.

Astarion - Like I said in the other post; essentially a cat that's been mistreated its whole life and will now swat and hiss at anyone trying to be nice to him simply out of fear. Constantly afraid but is hiding it behind sass or bitching. Only member left in the team who is still stuck on neutral in terms of relationship with Tav. Is constantly annoyed with me for being nice to the broken the beaten and the damned. Almost certainly because his experiences have taught him if you're not powerful you will be abused by those who are and it's upsetting to see someone who doesn't follow this internal logic of his. Needs a hug and a hot chocolate.

Wyll - Guy of all time. But he does come with hot demon mommy so that's a plus.

Shadowheart - obviously grew up a spoiled little princess by people who are actively grooming her for some fucked up religious role and have been telling her for her whole life that it's TOTALLY awesome and TOTALLY special and that she's TOTALLY special for being trained for it when really they're just brainwashing her into thinking getting used and and forced into something without her consent is something she actually wants and she should be proud of it. She hasn't figured this out yet tho and mostly still has amnesia about it which is 100% just more grooming. For some reason unlike my friend who found her insufferable and bratty, she's been very nice to me. Sucks to use in a fight tho.

Karlach - Ray of fucking sunshine. Somehow both the mom friend AND the little sister friend. Most purehearted member of the whole lot. Has the ADHD experience of literally vibrating in place but getting told by the entire world to "calm down" and "sit still". Uncomplicated but not in a bad way. Nothing but good vibes all the time. Has never had a bad thought about anybody. Deserves the fucking world.

#BG3 #I have not started the main quest yet so no spoilers pls and thank #C-Puff answers

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skarlette1 · 2 months

Text

Wishful Wand - Part One (NEW)

Being a reporter covering superheroes leads to some very odd conversations. Who else but me, Zelda Zane, would be standing in Libido Leagu Tower, arguing over the potential superpowers of sex toys with the League’s operations chief, Sammie Sims?

“Look, Sammie, I’m sure it’s a good dildo, but that’s all it is. I’m not belittling the ability to give a girl a few good orgasms, but it’s just a toy. A hunk of plastic. It’s not magic.”

“I thought that, too, Zelda. I was just sorting through old junk in the Libido League storage facility when I stumbled across it. It’s so plain-looking, I didn’t even notice it at first. I was moving it aside to get at something underneath it when I noticed how good it felt in my hand. Looking down, I realized it wasn’t a piece of junk, but some sort of perfectly-sculpted wand.”

“Right, right. The League has faced that sort of thing before, right? Argent confiscated something called the Mesmerizer that brainwashed through pleasure. Captain Alpha had an alien artifact called a Cosmic Orgasmatron … or something. I don’t have too many details about that.” I didn’t dare to meet her eyes, lest my expression give away just how much first-hand experience I’d had with the Orgasmatron in Captain Alpha’s hidden Quimtonian Refuge.

“Obviously, the first thing I did was check for signs of mind control tech. I ran every test Platinum Panther could devise. It’s clean. Except for the little squiggly engravings on the exterior, it’s just an ordinary sex toy. By the time I finished all my tests and scans, I gotta admit, I was pretty horny.”

“Sammie, you didn’t.”

“Of course I did. I took the wand back to my room and did what it was made for. Let me tell you: best orgasms of my life, hands down! The sensation of those little engravings teasing over my skin—Ooooh! Just thinking about the feel of them gets me wet.”

“Sammie! I may be a reporter, but some things are just TMI—Too Much Information.”

“Okay, okay. Anyway, after I lost track of my orgasms, the wand sent me a vision.”

“A vision?” As if her story weren’t weird enough already!

“Yes, a vision. Of U4ia.”

“Sammie, U4ia has been deactivated for months.”

“I know. That’s how I know that the wand is magic. It gave me a vision of U4ia’s soul. She appeared before me and told me how to fix her. I never would have thought of it on my own, but now it’s so obvious. I’ve started the process and it’s working! Her core programming is recompiling right now and she will be ready to boot up in a few hours!”

Sammie had gone too deep this time. I had to give her some perspective. “You may think that you spoke to the soul of a machine after an orgasm-induced hallucination, Sammie, but there’s a more obvious answer. You simply entered an altered state of consciousness from overdosing on orgasms and it helped your brain put together a new solution to your problem. That’s wonderful for you and for U4ia, Sammie. But it’s not a news story.”

Sammie laid her hand on my shoulder. “I’m not giving this to you for a news story, Zelda. I’m giving this to you as a friend. To help with your ... problem.”

“What problem?”

She gave me that look you give someone in denial. “Captain Alpha’s been off-planet nearly six months, Zelda.”

“I very well aware of that. What makes that my problem?”

“C’mon, Zelda. Everyone knows that you and Alpha are an item. It’s got to be killing you that you can’t speak to her. Or touch her. Or hold her. You must be, y’know, lonely. This can help with both speaking to her and not-being-lonely.” She gave me an exaggerated wink.

Captain Alpha had wanted to keep our relationship private—for my safety. Even though I called her by her Quimtionian name “Al-Phae” and had exactly the sort of relationship that Sammie was implying, I couldn’t let her know that. “My relationship with Captain Alpha, the Vixen of Vigor, Defender of Earth, is none of your business, Sammie. Even if we were … together … some weird sex toy wouldn’t make Alpha’s absence any easier to bear.”

“But it could! If you’d just use it, I know that the magic would let you talk to Captain Alpha, no matter how far away she is.”

“This is ridiculous, Sammie. I thought you were rational. A woman of science. An engineer.”

“I am rational. This makes perfect sense. How about I make you a deal?”

“What kind of deal?”

“If you try the wand for twenty minutes, I’ll give you an exclusive interview with U4ia as soon as she’s fully reactivated. I know your editor loves exclusive access with heroines.”

“She does, but this is just weird, Sammie.”

“Weird or not, there’s no way you can lose, Zelda. Either I’m wrong and you get to be the first person to talk to U4ia, or I’m right and you get to talk to Captain Alpha. What’s it going to be?”

That’s how I found myself in a guest bedroom of Libido League Tower at three in the afternoon, drawing the blinds and slipping off my shoes. Sammie had given me the “magic” dildo in a steel briefcase like it was the nuclear launch codes. The idea that this thing would give me a magical vision of my dear Al-Phae was ridiculous.

But Sammie was right that I’d missed Al-Phae’s touch for many months. I knew that wherever she was, she was doing important work to keep Earth safe. Even so, a part of me was getting desperate for sensation. I’d longed for the touch of an absent lover before, but this was different. After sex with Al-Phae, it felt like all the sex on Earth couldn’t quite measure up. On so many nights, I’d hold the special signal watch Al-Phae had given me. She’d said that it could contact her anywhere in the universe if I needed her. I didn’t want to interrupt whatever important, dangerous work she was doing just because I was missed the sound of her voice, the taste of her kiss. I much as I wanted her, I wanted to be good for her more.

Maybe I’d just examine this “wand” for the twenty minutes Sammie had requested and hand it back to her. It felt weird to masturbate in a guest room when Sammie knew exactly what I was doing. As a reporter, I cherished my privacy.

Still, It was worth taking a look at the wand. I opened the lid of the steel briefcase. Nestled in form-fitting foam padding was white piece of plastic, about eight inches long with a slight curve to it. It was featureless except for a few engravings on the side. Their shape reminded me of something I’d seen in Captain Alpha’s Quimtonian Refuge.

After one glance, I was certain that its curved shape would fit inside me perfectly, as if it had been custom-crafted to my body. Looking again, I wasn’t as certain it was made of plastic. It was so shiny, perhaps it was a type of metal? Or maybe ceramic?

To examine it more closely, I took it from the briefcase. The moment my fingers caressed it, a surge of lust rippled through my body. Warm to the touch, the thing felt alive in my hand. Nothing on Earth had ever felt so inviting. Without thinking, I found both hands exploring its contours and pressing the thing against the sensitive skin of my wrists, my throat, and my chest. I wasn’t sure when I’d laid back and lifted my skirt, but my pussy was already dripping by the time the wand trailed down my thigh.

My reporter’s curiosity swelled with my lust. I’d need to keep my head and pay attention to the sensations to better understand this bizarre item. Getting swept away by pleasure was a luxury I could not afford.

The moment it grazed my clit, I came. Despite my resolve, the orgasm crashed through me like a tsunami, powerful and irresistible. I found myself drowning in pleasure and never wanting to breathe again. It was like a star going nova inside my blood, a million years of bliss in every heartbeat.

When the cosmic orgasm mellowed enough for my eyes to open, I wasn’t in Libido League Tower. Mist and shadow surrounded me, the smell of musk hung thick in the still air. Time moved strangely, both too fast and too slow at once. A strange tingling across my skin—both hot and cold and neither at the same time—told me without a doubt that whatever this place was, it wasn’t Earth.

It took every ounce of my willpower and physical strength to pull the bizarre wand from between my legs. It was like it was magnetized to my pussy! As much as I craved another cosmic orgasm, I knew I needed to find out where I was! Holding the wand as far behind my back as my arm would allow, I forced myself to my feet. Taking a few shaky steps forward, the mist clung to my bare feet. “Hello? Is anyone there?” The mist seemed to swallow my words.

A figure strode out of the mist, tall and dark. She had a haughty look and a magnetic beauty second only to my beloved Al-Phae. She wore a dress tattered into rags. The mist seemed to leach the color out of everything, turning her skin a despairing gray except for her warm, pink lips. “Greetings, Zeldazane, female Earthling, erotic confection of the last daughter of Quimton. Welcome to the Shade Circumference.”

--To Be Continued (next week)...

---

Like what you read? Will you buy me a coffee and request something rich to sink my teeth into? Or peek into the depths of my longer fiction?

#skarletteone #mind control #flash fiction #superhero

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desert-bluffs-and-me · 4 months

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Kevin and Cecil: doubles, counterparts, twins, some combination?

Reblog for exposure please!

Definitions, for and against arguments, explaination of last option:

Doubles. Definition: exact copies of the citizens of Night Vale and of Desert Bluffs which split from them during the sandstorm. Essentially a newly created clone whose looks, personality and memories were/are identical to each other. For example: Dana is not sure if she's the original Dana or the double, due to the exactness of the memories of being Dana right up to the point of seeing the other Dana. Every double is described as looking, sounding and acting identically to the person they're a double of be it Cecil or Kevin reporting. Lawrence Lavine (Larry Leroy's counterpart but not his double) details the sensation of suddenly feeling like he had two hands scooping sand until there was suddenly two complete versions of him. Evidence for: Both Kevin and Cecil describe a picture of the other sharing their physical likeness, even down to what the other is wearing in the photo matching what the speaker is wearing now (or, posesses at least). Their likeness in looks is also mentioned when they physically meet during the Strex arc. Neither of them spawn any other kind of double, despite the fact that people indoors did still spawn one (such as Dana, and the imagined alive version of Vanessa Kevin seems to insist on manifesting). Kevin says directly that he 'thinks he saw his double' when the two cross back through the vortex. Evidence against: Both existed before the sandstorm, so unless (likely Cecil) spawned a double when he was very young and that double was taken away and raised as Kevin, this is very strange. Cecil doesn't actually say he met his double when seeing Kevin in the vortex.

Counterparts: a term not mentioned in canon but which can be used to explain the relationship between two characters with similar but not necessarily identical names, lives, personality traits and roles/jobs as somebody from the other town. For example: Dana Cardinal/Dan Cardozo, Larry Leroy out on the edge of town/Lawrence Lavine out in the Edgertown Development, Old Woman Josie (full name Josephina)/Grandma Josephine, Pamela Winchell/Pablo Mitchell. The fact that they seem to have similar jobs etc hints that whilst being different people they have made similar decisions in life. Evidence for: Cecil and Kevin share a lot of the same likes and dislikes which is more obvious in the brief glimpses we get of Kevin from before Strex changed him, even Cecil comments on this in Triptych. They both have the same job (obviously). They both didn't experience a creation of a double, but did make identical decisions to go through the vortex showing more likemindedness without being the exact same person (possibly).

Twins: two children born at the same birth (according to Google, but we all know what twins are, right?). Evidence for: If Kevin and Cecil are just twins from a seperated marriage, it could explain why Kevin mostly remembers a dad and Cecil only had a mother and why they're physically identical and somewhat similar in other ways but still different even before Kevin's brainwashing. Kevin mentions having siblings, but his memory of his past is hazy. They could have been split when they were too young to really remember each other and Abby could have her own reasons for not wanting to tell Cecil about Kevin even after the Strex arc and Kevin coming to town.

Evidence against: Although Kevin briefly and unreliably mentions siblings, Cecil doesn't except for Abby. The grown Cecil from Casettes even explicitly says he doesn't have a brother (although he's technically talking about Cal here) which doesn't necessarily invalidate the other points but could do. It seems like something Abby would have mentioned to him at some point though regardless of any reasoning I can think of but people are unreasonable all the time.

Last option: We know there's many timelines and that Cecil is a constant in all of those timelines. If there can be a timeline which is identical except instead of Abby, Cal was born OR a mini version of NV which is now under the bowling alley then why couldn't there be a timeline where Cecil was favoured by a Smiling God and not Huntokar and was raised in DB as Kevin? In the newer episodes, Kevin, refreshed to a child by Carlos' meddling science, has no idea who he's supposed to be and is completely lost. I don't know if that's completely related to this theory but it is interesting.

Facts to possibly ignore for meta reasons: Kevin and Cecil having different names and voices.

#wtnv #welcome to night vale #wtnv cecil #cecil palmer #cecil gershwin palmer #wtnv kevin #kevin of desert bluffs #polls #long post

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space-apples · 9 months

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saying this on here because the azi hate is seriously (not a big deal, im a theatre kid and im being dramatic) driving me insane.

buckle up because i have fucking things to say <3.

good omens 2 spoilers ahead, obviously/lh

i hate the coffee theory. and before you click away, please read my post <33

i like the lie theory better, but i enjoy the integrity (for lack of a better word) of it being about religious trauma and how that affects different people.

azi is so religiously brainwashed that he still believes heaven can be good. he is an angel, he is good. but since he got kicked out, that meant he wasn’t good enough. as much as crowley sees and recognizes the things azi does, azi does the same for crowley. he sees and recognizes how good crowley is. he is so incredibly good that— in azi’s mind— it doesn’t make sense that he’s a demon.

additionally, he also sees that crowley is lonely. and azi is also lonely. and the whole point is that theyre lonely together. but if they both become angels, then they don’t have to be lonely, and they can be together.

we also know that azi knew crowley before he fell. he saw what could happen to him if he did something wrong. it’s why he is so worried about whether or not he’s doing good.

overtime, ofc, we see him growing into himself a little bit more because he’s no longer surrounded by heaven officials. but then a very powerful one— his boss’s boss— came up to him and said that he was the best. angel. for. the. job.

that he couldn’t think of a better angel than aziraphale. and he just wants to be good so badly. he wants to be with crowley so badly. and with this, he can have both.

i totally see it from crowley’s pov too— he’s been building up a relationship with the closest person he’s ever had. they were on the same side because they didn’t have a choice to do otherwise. and then azi actively chooses the very thing that was making both of them suffer and feel like they can never do anything right ever. like i definitely see why and see how crowley is upset. it’s justifiable. /gen

i dont think either of them are at fault here except for heaven and hell. i think all of this comes down to communication. and though i think azi should do the “you were right” song, i don’t inherently think that this is something he is at fault.

aziraphale is still operating in the good vs bad system, he hasn’t fully deprogramed his indoctrination. he’s trying to convince himself that he’s right. if the institution you were in your entire life ended up being bad for you, of course you wouldn’t believe it at first. azi is actively choosing between what he wants to do, and what he has to do. and since he is so fucking afraid of heaven and consequences of defying that, he would say yes.

he’s searching and hoping for validation— and his boss’s boss came up to him and it not only gave him that toxic validation, but it put him back into that “oh i can be / do good.”

but to crowley, aziraphale was saying, “i want to make you good enough for heaven.” and aziraphale was trying to say, “i want to make heaven good enough for you. i want to make myself good enough for you.”

and people are comparing azi to gabriel because ineffable bureaucracy (i just spent a very long time trying to spell that LMAO) happened in like a week, and it took our aziraphale more than 6000 years. to that, i am here to remind people that gabriel was probably contributing to the fears that aziraphale had, and he didn’t ever experience that type of trauma because the only people that were above him was the metatron and fucking god.

plus, this type of institution affects people variously and not every person reacts or behaves the same :):)

this whole thing is just how religious trauma affects people differently :):):):)

another reason why i hate the coffee theory is just because it undermines aziraphale’s intensely complex character. the end lol. i hope you have a great day <33

#if you disagree with me that’s fine (i am stubborn so i’m right #spaceapples rambles #good omens spoilers #good omens #good omens 2 #go2 spoilers #aziraphale #aziracrow #ineffable husbands #ineffable bureaucracy #crowley #it IS about religious trauma because i have religious trauma and because i said so

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queer-advice-hotline · 3 months

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Transmasc enby in a sticky situation here…

I've made a fair bit of progress transitioning in the past year. I'm almost 6 months on T, though I had a bad dose for a while so it’s functionally like 3-4 months. My voice is significantly deeper, and I have a more masculine frame and a little bit of wispy facial hair. I'm also out to pretty much everyone in my life - excepting my extended family. I do think that most of them will be accepting when I do eventually come out, it's just something I've been avoiding. It's a little awkward, because AFAIK I'm the only queer person in my family, and also I worry about being seen as the stereotype of "GIRL BRAINWASHED BY THE TRANS AGENDA" lmao.

Here's the problem. My grandmother is turning 100 in a month. Obviously it's a pretty big occasion, and most of my extended family will be there, as well as many other people that may know me. I don't know if they'll notice that I've transitioned. I didn't get any comments last Christmas, and I don't feel like I've changed much since then, so maybe it'll be alright? At some point I'm planning on making a coming-out post on the family Facebook page, but I don't think I should do it before my nan's birthday. Especially since the party will have more people than just my extended family. Still, I wonder if any seniors with poor eyesight are going to ask if my nan has an extra grandson, and I worry that I'd have to awkwardly come out then and there…

But yeah, any tips for navigating the 100th birthday party of my devout Christian grandma, which will be attended by many people who are used to thinking of me as a cute little girl in a pretty dress, whilst being pretty transparently Not A Lady? Lmao, typing it out has made me realise just how fucked I am…

Telling them you are a girl if they ask would be a good way to get around it if they ask. If they ask about your voice you can always say that you have a cold or something along those lines.

Staying closeted both for your safety and comfort won't be an enjoyable experience for that day, but it may help to remember that it's just that one day, and then you can work on coming out on your own terms.

#queer advice hotline #1-800-queer #advice calls #gender calls #queer #trans #long distance calls

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boots-with-the-fur-club · 4 months

Text

Inverted Confrontation chapter 6! Next is the last one!

@daboyau

“You already know I wanted to end humanity! Is this really such a surprise!? I made you all for war and experimented on dozens of animals. Obviously I was going to make sure you were suited for it.” Draxum crosses his arms.

“This is so not helping your case! How are we supposed to convince these guys to stop being villains when you basically made it impossible for them to be anything else!?” Leo grips his own face and pulls on it in frustration.

“Maybe we can talk to them now that the situation is reversed? They might be willing to listen!” Mikey suggests.

“No way they ever would. Reasoning doesn’t work!“ Other April insists.

“What do you say we do with them then?” April questions.

“Let me take them back and we’ll deal with it. The people in my universe deserve justice.”

“Are you going to kill them!?”

“It’s up to everyone who’s lives they ruined! This is the only chance I’m ever going to get!“

“Woah woah woah, heroes don’t send people to their deaths!” Raph gets between them.

“They’re murderers themselves if you need reminding.” Draxum comments.

“Yeah, because of you!” Leo points his finger in his face accusatorially.

“We can’t give up on them. Villains and other universes or not they are my sons.” Splinter chimes in.

“They also tried to brainwash your real sons though.” Donnie casually adds.

Everyone begins arguing with each other, allowing Mikey to slip away to the room they’re holding them in.

He’s surprised to see that Champion is awake, but not exactly…..present. It reminds him a little of Leo with a concussion but this seems much worse.

“Are….are you okay?” He hesitantly reaches out to him.

When there’s no reaction, so he quickly touches his neck to make sure there’s a pulse. Luckily there was. Unluckily, it means he has no idea what’s going on with him.

His head was drooped slightly, his eyes were….gray, half lidded, sort of empty.

“This is bad….I have to get help-“

“Stop! There’s only one thing that can help him, you’d just make it worse!”

Mikey jumps a bit at the voice coming from behind him. Dr. Rude apparently has woken up.

“What will help?”

“Me! He needs me.”

“I can’t just let you out, you just tried brainwash me and my brothers! Tell me what to do, I won’t mess it up.”

“You can’t be the one to do it.” He breaks the mystic bindings fairly easily.

Mikey panics, quickly holding onto Champion. He’s not sure why, but something feels wrong.

“How did you break it!? You shouldn’t have had your powers!”

“Just because I can’t use them doesn’t mean I wasn’t strong already. Let go of my brother.”

“What are you going to do to him?”

“I don’t have to explain myself to you!” He starts coming at him.

Mikey holds Champion closer and jumps out of the way.

“You do if you actually want to be able to do it!”

“If I don’t help him he’s just going to get worse! Do you want him to die because you’re being stupid!?”

“I’m not being stupid! I’m trying to make sure you’re not doing anything weird!”

Champion begins to shift in his arms. Mikey immediately notices the panic on Dr. Rude’s face.

“P-Please! I have to do it now!”

Mikey frowns, trying to figure out what the right thing to do is. His unease was brought on by something but it was just a feeling. They loved each other, he wouldn’t hurt his brother right?

He hesitantly moves Champion closer to him. There’s immediate relief on his villain counterpart’s face. Maybe this was the better option.

Dr. Rude mystic powers start surging through his arms which makes Mikey confused.

“You’re going to be okay again….just like before….”

“What are you doing!?”

Both Mikeys snap their heads towards Hyde who .

“I-I was just….it’s….” Dr. Rude is at a loss for words.

Hyde breaks his bonds and rushes over, scanning Champion with a device he materializes.

“…..Mikey.”

Dr. Rude freezes. Mikey knows that reaction. He gets the same way when Splinter calls him Michelangelo instead of Orange.

“Hyde, it’s not what-“

“Why are there traces of your power in his system?”

“You don’t understand-“

“Then make me understand! What were you about to do? What have you been doing to him!?”

Dr. Rude shrinks in on himself a bit, glancing at Champion. Hyde moves into his line of sight, blocking the view.

“Tell me I’m wrong! Tell me that you haven’t been puppeteering our brother!”

Dr. Rude begins breathing heavily.

“….You did it….didn’t you? For how long!?”

Dr. Rude tears up, holding his arm and looking away.

“Mikey! If I’m going to fix him, you need to tell me everything!” He grips him by the shoulders.

Dr. Rude looks back at him with anger before tackling him away from Champion.

Mikey takes several steps back at seeing this, then rushes out of the room.

“You think you can fix him!? What I did was the fix! He was failing! You weren’t there! You don’t know what it was like! Draxum was going to get rid of him if I didn’t do something!” Dr. Rude holds Hyde down, his arms still full of mystic energy.

“Mikey! Be careful!” He fearfully glances at them.

“I-I swear I didn’t do it on purpose at first! I was just trying to help! And it worked! I-I didn’t even know I could do that! I thought it was just helping his abilities!” The energy begins to seep into Hyde’s arms.

“Stop it! Please!” He looks at Red to see if he’s awake.

He’s only slowly beginning to stir.

“I was trying to keep him alive….and then….h-he and I were so in sync….we worked so well together….we were perfect. Too perfect….”

Hyde struggles against him as the energy spreads more. He glances around next to get help from regular Mikey but couldn’t find him.

“I couldn’t have known what I was doing….but something was wrong. He never questioned me about anything. You remember those things dad made us, right? Leo’s stuffed unicorn was the only one Draxum never found. You remember how angry he was when he found ours, what he did to us….Leo was so good at hiding his, but I just knew it was a matter of time, so I told him to tear it up. He loved it so much, so I didn’t think he’d actually do it! He was going to do it without a second thought if I hadn’t stopped him!”

“You could have stopped after we were free!”

“I tried stopping! I-I got scared after the unicorn, but it was so much worse when I didn’t do it….Draxum got even angrier. Leo couldn’t handle what he was feeling anymore, Donnie! And that was only after a week! After how long it took to get out of there!? It would break him!”

“But now you’re doing it to me!?”

Dr. Rude’s tears drip onto Hyde’s face.

“I have to. It’s the only way. I’m taking care of us! You’ll feel better, he always does…..”

Hyde shouts in pain.

Red blearily wakes up at the screaming, immediately breaking his bonds and instinctively grabbing Dr. Rude as soon as he sees him.

He looks around in confusion for the actual attacker, only assuming Dr. Rude was trying to help Hyde.

Only when he notices the orange spreading through his veins does he fully understand what’s happened. His attention turns back towards his youngest brother.

“You….did this?”

Dr. Rude breaks down in tears as he looks back up at him.

“I-I didn’t know what else to do. I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry!” He hides his face in Red’s shoulder.

Red hugs him closer, his shock turning completely to understanding.

“Oh Orange…..”

Dr. Rude hiccups in response to the nickname he hadn’t heard in a long time.

“I-I’m a monster…..I’m just like he was…!”

Red rubs his shell.

“No. Never, ever like him.”

“But I-“

“It’s not his DNA we’ve got. You messed up….and it’s bad. Real bad. We’ve all done bad things. We did it for a reason. How would ya even know what was crossin the line? We sure didn’t teach you. We sure didn’t really have anyone to teach us. The real monster….he never cared about being a monster. His reasons never were for anybody else. You’re different. I know you are.”

Dr. Rude further bursts into tears.

That’s when everyone who was previously fighting rushes into the room. Original Mikey had managed to get them to listen long enough to tell them what was happening.

“Why did I even bother making those bonds when they broke out immediately?” Draxum crosses his arms.

“Not the time, Barry!”

Both Aprils rush over to Hyde.

“What do we do!? How do we stop this!?” April panics.

“I don’t know! I’ve never seen it stopped before!” Other April answers.

“I-Ignore me, Champion needs help!” Hyde winces, holding his arms in pain.

Splinter quickly goes over to Champion.

“Blue, can you hear me?”

Light starts returning into his eyes. His gaze meets with Splinter’s.

“D-Dad….? You can’t be….you’re….” His eyes widen in a split second.

He screams out in a wail, gripping his own head in what seems like a lot of pain.

“No! I-I’m sorry! I’m so sorry! He killed you because of me! And I-!….Oh my god….I killed him….I actually did it, how could I have-?” He sees Draxum behind Splinter.

His screams change from pain to absolute fear. He curls up into a tight ball, shaking like he’s about to fall completely apart.

“Blue!” Splinter tries to touch him but Champion only flinches.

“Okay, since Champion is down for the count, Leon is taking over! Whoever can help fix Hyde stays in a room with Draxum. That includes the Aprils to watch over him. Whoever can calm Champion down stays here. Having Draxum around is only going to freak him out more. All good?”

Nobody seems to have any problems with his solution. They all split off into the designated groups. Red, Raph, Donnie, Mikey and Splinter stay with Champion. Draxum, Dr. Rude, and the Aprils go with Hyde. Leo leaves the room with them but pauses, not sure if he could really help either.

“P-Please, don’t leave.” Hyde pleads.

Leo is surprised but quickly catches up with them and goes to his side. They all get to the med bay and lay Hyde down on the bed. Everyone else takes a step away from him in order to talk about what the next course of action would be. Leo stays next to him.

“That looks like it hurts….”

“O-Only because I’m fighting it. It’s….trying to spread but I’m not letting it. H-Humans can’t really fight against this, their mystic powers are nonexistent.”

“Are you sure you want to keep talking if it hurts this much?”

“I….I miss when you were like this.”

“Like what?”

“All the dumb jokes, the way you were unsure, when you let yourself be scared….”

“Well now you just make me sound like a loser. I thought it was cool how you believed in him, called him Champion, how he could actually be leader, but that was all kinda a big lie because of all that puppeteering.” He crosses his arms.

“You were you. Not….fake. Not a mix of something else. If you were a loser that way, we were losers together. Y-You’re my twin and it felt like I lost whatever we had. Now I know….it was replaced by what Dr. Rude created…..”

“What….we had?”

“Y-You and I both know what it was. The way you can tell if he’s in pain. If he’s in a bad mood. Wh-When he needs you.”

“I knew that wasn’t just in my head! I caught him watching scary movies at 3am because him being scared wouldn’t let me sleep.”

Hyde smiles softly.

“I’d give anything to have that happen. Th-That’s why I agreed to this. I don’t just miss you….I-I miss Mikey too. Hyde and Champion….they became like we were the same person. I-I guess they sort of were. It felt like it was just me and Red at times….I just wanted to spend time with my little brothers.”

“Hey, I’m not letting you say that just because you’re not feeling well.”

Hyde’s smile changes to a smirk.

“I tested us. I’m older.”

“What!? If you weren’t such a bad liar I’d be calling pants on fire!”

Hyde chuckles before he grits his teeth in pain.

Leo frowns and looks at his arms.

“There has to be something I can do.”

“D-Dr. Rude himself doesn’t know how to stop it. I-It’s not your fault.”

Leo looks at his hands, then back to Hyde.

“Here goes nothing.”

“Wait, wait-!”

Leo recalls the surge of energy that Champion had forced them to dip into. He thinks hard about how he wants to help Hyde, putting aside the fact that he isn’t from this universe, ignoring what he attempted to do.

Right now, he was family.

Hyde’s shouting drew the attention of the others in the room. He can sort of hear Draxum and both Aprils yell at him to stop. They’re all ignored.

They can lecture him after it works. Or take pity on him if it doesn’t.

Energy prickles in the palm of his hands. He grabs Hyde’s arms and does his best to will the energy that wasn’t supposed to be there away, somewhere, anywhere that wasn’t in Hyde.

The energy fights him, not wanting to leave. He fights back, insisting that it was not going to get any further. He can feel something in Hyde helping his own energy kick out the harmful one.

Eventually, finally, Dr. Rude’s energy changes into his own. He pulls it all back, out of Hyde.

He’s pulled away just as he finishes, getting yelled at a lot more.

He doesn’t really pay attention.

Hyde’s arms are back to normal. He’s not in pain anymore.

He looks at him in complete shock.

“Ha, there was something I could do!”

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thegeminisage · 5 months

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ok, its time for a QUICK tng update before xm*s proceedings. saturday we did "best of both worlds part ii" and "family" and last night we did "brothers" and "suddenly human."

best of both worlds part ii: I LOOOOOVED THIS EPISODE. mwah. EVERYTHING i wanted. creepy little cyborg implants. brainwashed picard. his beautiful perfect cgi tear (which may or may not have been cgi, this is a point of debate, experts please weigh in). data bravely doing a robot mind meld. 1000000/10 more borg episodes please please PLEASE

can you imagine if the borg has ben in tos btw. what a thought experiment, except for how i quite literally can't think about it or i'll get so excited i'll pass out

did guinan imply she and picard were lovers in this ep...girl you can do better

my one nitpick with william riker was him promoting that lady he hated instead of someone who deserved it, like worf or data. it probably would have given worf ptsd but can you imagine that enterprise having a captain and first officer being gay on the bridge again...wonderful. except this time there would also be deanna <3

"how much do you remember" "everything" AHAHAHAHA GREAT. GOOD. WONDERFUL. anyway

family: extremely unusual episode but i loved it nonetheless. i was really shocked worf's parents were so sweet!!! i fucking loved them. they're like the cutest people on earth i can't believe they raised such a taciturn and stoic guy like worf...

picard's family i wasn't sure about at first until the wrestling match in the mud. sometimes you need to punch a guy and his brother stepped up to the job admirably. i kept thinking he looked like michael caine, which would have been an incredible choice.

WESLEY.....................................................we don't need to talk about it

everyone's accents in this ep were wack. why does picard have a totally different accent from his brother. why is worf's accent different from his parents. ik its not that deep but its making me crrrazzzyyy

brothers: i didnt even get a look at the title of this episode before we started bc vumoo (the shady site im using to watch) doesn't display them but it was SUCH an unexpected pleasure to get a data episode

absolutely scuh-reaming at the ease with which he hijacked an ENTIRE goddamn starship. he's so competent i love that. a real "glad he's on OUR side" moment, not unlike spock commandeering the enterprise in "the menagerie" (rip i wish that had been a better episode).

lore grew on me really fast. i was neutral on him during his last appearance, the meme aside, but in this episode he was really fun and unsettling. brent spiner can do horrible, horrible things with his face

this ep felt a little cut off? i expected another confrontation with lore, a getting back of the chip, or at least some kind of burial or funeral for dr soong, but we just quit like 3/4 through the episode. maybe less time spent on the opening section of the hijack could have fixed this

anyway i love the foil between data and lore...one has support and the other does not...but it doesn't make sense for lore to get the emotions chip because it seems like he already HAS them??

oh yeah and data repeating "i am not less perfect than lore" got funnier EVERY time he did it. little man was really going thru it i was cracking up genuinely <3

suddenly human: this episode was wack

ok, did you guys read face on the milk carton when you were in school? i did when i was way too young to be reading it and it fucked me up real bad and i completely forgot about it until i watched this episode and then i got to unlock that memory in real time

anyway, while it is obviously the correct choice to return a child to their family when they are kidnapped as babies, it is also hugely traumatic for an older child to be ripped away from a loving home* and transplanted with strangers, which those books explore in horrific detail. so the whole episode i found myself going "i KNOW it's bad politics but could they not just CONSIDER leaving him with the only family he's ever known as a possible choice" and then they DID THAT and i wanted to be ill because it was obviously the worst choice in the world

* this is a different scenario than the first tng episode involving kidnapped children, which strongly resembled the residential schools from real life. THIS particular situation, minus the method of kidnapping (during warfare), more closely resembled the crazy cult shit happening in those books, where the kidnapped girl was being raised by people who thought they really were her biological grandparents and weren't bad people and her biological family also weren't bad people. a "no fault" situation EXCEPT FOR HE KIDNAPPENED THAT BABY DURING WARFARE.

anyway this is the second time tng has dropped the ball on this subject so i think from now on they should not do episodes like this anymore. really really really really bad.

NEXT TIME: "remember me" and "legacy"

#personal #star trek blogging #tng lb

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neopuff · 8 months

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title: all the interim (chap2: or a hideous dream) word count: ~5300 characters: holiday, six, bobo, caesar, black knight summary: Providence was not changing for the better. chapter 1: https://www.tumblr.com/neopuff/729900826364149760/title-all-the-interim-chap1-like-a ao3 link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/50434108/chapters/127430134

Two weeks shouldn’t have been a long time, but both Six and Holiday felt like time had never passed slower.

It was less than a week after their initial meeting with Black Knight that Caesar started an entirely new program for Providence - control collars for EVOs. If Bobo hadn’t already been on their side, he absolutely would’ve switched over by that point. The collars were still experimental, but (as always) Caesar was very quickly making great strides with the new technology. And most Providence employees seemed to like the concept a lot.

Holiday and Six did not. There was a hollow, empty promise that the collars would only ever be used on non-sentient EVOs - ones that couldn’t be reasoned with or did more harm than good. But they both knew perfectly well how easily that kind of power would be abused. Even White Knight had never stooped so low as to try and brainwash Rex - manipulate him, trick him, lie to him, sure. But never take control of his mind.

With all the changes quickly happening around them, Holiday started a secret project of her own. Being demoted, there were less eyes on her than there used to be. She had a more strict schedule, but she also didn’t have Black Knight or Caesar checking up on her. This gave her ample time and opportunity to scrub Beverly Holiday’s name from every Providence file she could find it on. Everything she had access to - Beverly was gone. Replaced with a generic, unsearchable name. Her social security information: removed. Anything that described her ties to Rebecca - deleted. Holiday didn’t want to risk it. She couldn’t remove her sister from Caesar’s brain, but if she was lucky…he’d already forgotten about her. He tended to forget about things that weren’t right in front of him.

And hopefully, Black Knight didn’t know about her. There was too high a chance that Providence would want to keep tabs on her or experiment on her or something, being the only cured incurable, and Holiday refused to let that happen. Even if she had to cut off contact with her sister, she’d happily do it to keep her safe.

In preparation for leaving Providence, as she and Six had discussed in hushed whispers when they had an opportunity, Holiday was also slowly taking money out of her bank accounts. She didn’t have much anymore, thanks to Dr. Brandon Moses scamming her out of most of her savings, but on Six’s suggestion she wanted to stay as off-the-grid as possible after they left. There was a decent chance that Providence would come after them and they needed to stay out of sight.

It was still a strange thought, fleeing her home for the last six years to galavant around the country (the world?) with Six. If circumstances were different (and he was still his old self), she would’ve even been excited to spend so much time alone with him.

Instead, she was miserably packing bags and trying to decide which clothes to bring. Obviously she couldn’t take her whole closet - though she did wonder what they’d do with her stuff once she was gone.

As Holiday packed her things, Six continued playing nice with Providence. His position there was already weird because of his memory loss, so if he was late to meetings or seemed especially unfriendly towards someone, it could be easily explained away. Preparing to go off-the-grid wasn’t difficult for him like it was for Holiday - he’d done it several times before, after all - and he didn’t really have any personal items to take with. Toothbrush, one extra suit, weapons. That’s all he needed.

The main task that Black Knight was insistent on him doing was training the new soldiers. The training room was redesigned so he could showcase as many of his skills as possible, though Six wasn’t sure if the soldiers were really getting it. They all seemed slow and quiet and intimidated by him - which wasn’t unusual, but it was kind of annoying. When they imitated his movements, they were accurate, but agonizingly slow.

Six decided after the first day that he didn’t really care. He would do what was asked of him and just be satisfied that Black Knight wasn’t asking him to do more.

He was still waiting to hear from White Knight. Providence never found a body, so Six was confident that he was right about Knight’s survival, but he’d expected to hear from the man already. It was distinctly possible that White was waiting for them to leave Providence before contacting them, so Six decided to bet on that before bothering to get worried. Though their official reason for leaving Providence was to see if they could find Rex before Black Knight or Caesar could, finding out exactly why White Knight did what he did was a big part of it, too. The man was a strategist - he wouldn’t just fake his death for no reason.

Bobo planned to stay at Providence for a few more weeks to keep an eye on things, waiting for the perfect opportunity to switch himself with his robot counterpart. With Holiday’s help, Robo-Bobo was more lifelike than ever, but with his polite behavior, Bobo felt like it’d make sense to wait until collars became mandatory for all EVOs at Providence before trading places.

He was good at staying off the grid and he could hear everything his robot self could hear. It was a good way to stay ahead of Providence, combined with whatever-the-hell White Knight was doing.

There wasn’t much preparation for Bobo to do besides that - all of his personal items were destroyed in Knight’s explosion. Without Rex, he had no friends at Providence. And without his friendship with Rex, he had no protections. Working alongside Providence soldiers and grunts was agitating - none of them wanted him around, and he didn’t want to follow orders like they did. It’d only been two weeks and he was already pulling his hair out from frustration.

This Black Knight chick was kooky. She’d make weird comments about investigating Holiday or scanning Six and everyone would just nod their heads like any of it made any sense. Completely crazy. Maybe she and Caesar were a match made in…somewhere bad.

Bobo took off his hat, placing it under the soldier-standard bunk bed he’d been assigned since his room was gone. He’d never really trusted anyone at Providence in the first place, but he didn’t realize how much worse it could get.

Everything was set.

Holiday was nervous as hell, completely on edge and couldn’t stop playing with her hands - but she was ready to go. It was understandably nerve-wracking, but she was annoyed with herself for being so out-of-sorts. She knew this day was coming. She’d gotten everything prepped and she was going to have Six by her side the entire time. She’d be fine. She’d be safe.

But Providence had been her home for over six years. Six years she’d given to this organization - working long hours, taking no vacations, dealing with the most awful people she’d ever met, but also getting close to some of the (well, two of the) best people she’d ever known.

It was harder than usual to play her part in the lab, knowing that it was potentially the last time she’d ever work there. Holiday was just thankful that Caesar still preferred working alone in his personal lab, so she didn’t have the awkwardness of seeing him all day.

“Holiday.”

She turned around to see Six stepping into the room, the usual neutral look on his face. It hit her in that moment that she might never see him walk through those doors to greet her again. It was a strange thing to be sad about, considering how much time they were about to spend together.

He walked up to stand right next to her, staring down at what she was working on. It wasn’t really anything, she was just tinkering with a portable nanite reader.

“Hi,” Holiday said quietly, following his eyes down to her hands. She always felt like there were eyes on her these days. It was worse than when White Knight would suddenly appear on-screen with no warning.

Six spoke low. “The monkey is going to join us when we have a new base.”

“Yeah, makes sense. Taking a talking monkey to shitty motel rooms might attract attention.”

He glanced at her face, a single eyebrow raised. Her tone was somewhere between angry and sarcastic and he hadn’t expected it from her, especially not at such a crucial time.

Holiday flushed the slightest bit and put her hands down flat on the desk. She sighed and shook her head. “Sorry. I’m just…I’ve never done anything like this before. It’s weighing on me more than I expected.”

“Yes, well…hopefully you’ll never have to do it again.” He spoke methodically, trying not to be too obvious that he knew this situation was emotional for her. He couldn’t identify with that at all, being that he’d only worked there for a little over a month. But her state made Six wonder if his old self would’ve cared.

“Hopefully.”

They stood together for a minute, silently, almost like they were waiting for something bad to happen. There were so many opportunities for them to get caught or be stopped and though Six was thorough and Holiday was careful…Bobo was neither and it made things difficult.

“...are you ready?” Six asked, breaking the silence.

She sighed and ran her fingers through her bangs. “Sort of. There’s just…one last thing I need to do. I have to try, at least.”

Six watched her carefully. He had a feeling he knew what that last thing was, and though he didn’t approve, he wasn’t going to stop her. They’d already gotten this far and he knew she wouldn’t be turning back. “I’ll be waiting for you.”

Holiday tugged at her bangs, trying to remember the last time Six said something like that to her. “I won’t be long.”

She didn’t look as he exited the room, taking another deep breath as she wrestled with herself on whether or not she was about to make a very bad decision. It certainly wasn’t smart, she knew that, but her heart beat proudly to the tune of sisterly love and she knew that, deep down, Rex’s brother felt the same.

Holiday stood there for another twenty minutes before finally making her move. She stomped out of her lab and down the hallway to Caesar’s, not bothering to knock before she came in. It wasn’t like she needed to bother with professional decorum anymore. If this didn’t go well, it’d be a long time before she saw Caesar again.

The lights were low and she frowned, turning the rest of them on as the door shut behind her. “Caesar.”

“Hm?” He popped his head out from behind a big piece of machinery - large goggles over his eyes. Caesar took a brief moment to examine the situation, then pulled the goggles off and stepped around the machine. “Do you need something, Dr. Holiday?”

She frowned and clasped her hands behind her back. The conversation she wanted to have with him was difficult and…complicated. “I just…wanted to talk to you.”

“Can it wait? I’m in the middle of something important.”

“No, it can’t.”

At that, Caesar tilted his head, blinking slowly at her. The way he looked at her, it almost felt like he was reading her mind. “Ah. This is that time, then.”

Holiday glared at him, confused. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“You know what it means,” he said confidently, reaching for his goggles again. “And you don’t need to waste your breath: my answer is no. I’m going to stay here.”

She stared at him, face unmoving. Obviously, he knew what was going on. Being cautious and thorough didn’t seem to matter when it came to Dr. Caesar Salazar, did it? Somehow it always seemed like he knew everything, even when he wasn’t paying attention. So instead of argue, or question how he knew, Holiday just asked, “Are you sure?”

“Quite sure. I have no interest in working without money or resources,” Caesar answered, putting the goggles over his eyes again. “Besides, Rex will escape from his temporal wormhole eventually and I’d like to be the friendly face that greets him on the other side.” Then he went right back to what he was doing.

Holiday wrapped her arms around herself, feeling vulnerable and upset. Everytime she tried to reach out to Caesar or attempted to understand him, he just let her down. But if he was sure, then she’d be sure, too. “Goodbye, then, Caesar. I can’t say it’s been a pleasure.”

He paused for a brief moment in his work, not looking at her. “Dr. Holiday,” he said simply - his own form of goodbye.

She turned around and headed out the door, hoping to reach Six at the hangar before Caesar alerted Black Knight of their plans. Assuming she didn’t already know, of course. And assuming Six hadn’t been caught and captured and they were just waiting for her to join him.

She took a shaky breath and rushed towards her room. One hour to grab her single backpack of personal items and clothes, then meet with Six and get out. It was going to be one of the longest hours of her life.

Entirely focused on his project, Caesar stayed in his lab for another three hours before he realized he should probably report to Black Knight again. They were meant to have at least two meetings per day - one in the afternoon and one in the evening - but he’d become particularly bad at keeping track of time since his time jump.

Caesar entered her office without much thought, unsurprised when Black Knight glared at him for not announcing his presence before walking in.

“I’m in the middle of something, Dr. Salazar.”

He shrugged. “Agent Six and Dr. Holiday have left.”

Black Knight put her papers down and stood up, walking closer to him. “Is that so?”

“They’re under the impression that Rex will have lost his memories again when he exits the wormhole, so they’ve decided to go out and search for him,” Caesar explained, combining the little pieces of information he’d gathered together into his unconfirmed theory. “Though I doubt they’ll be able to find him any faster than we will.”

“It doesn’t really matter,” Black Knight said, exiting her office and motioning for Caesar to follow her. “We already got everything we need from them.”

Caesar quickly caught up to her, walking alongside as they passed by several groups of soldiers. It didn’t matter if anyone overheard them, everything they did from that point on would be unquestioned. “True. Though Dr. Holiday’s knowledge of EVOs was very helpful in my work.”

“We can try to get them back.” Black Knight turned a corner, letting the door in front of her open up and allow the two of them to step onto the Tower’s walkway. She stared down at the EVOs in the Petting Zoo. “But until then, you’ll have to make do.”

“Of course. You’re in charge, after all.” Caesar still thought it was strange that she was in such a significant position of power, but he chose not to question it. There were too many other, more important things that he needed to focus on.

“How much progress have you made with the behavior modification collars?” she asked, one hand on her hip. “I saw the test data and everything looked satisfactory.”

“We’re moving on to full-scale production in the next few days,” he answered quickly. “Thanks to Dr. Holiday’s meticulous logging, we won’t need to take measurements for any of the Petting Zoo EVOs. They should all be fitted with collars within the next two weeks. New additions will need to be measured and fitted, but I’m confident we’ll be able to streamline production by the end of this quarter.”

Black Knight smiled, turning her head just slightly towards Caesar. She looked proud of him in a way that made Caesar just slightly uncomfortable. “Excellent work, Dr. Salazar. It sounds like you’ll soon be available to start on a new project.”

She started walking across the walkway, stopping at the computer station in the middle. Scientists who’d been working there quickly moved out of the way for her and Caesar, finding other work to do in the lab or in another room. No one wanted to be in the way of the Black Knight.

With a few swipes across the screen, Black Knight opened up a file that was unfamiliar to Caesar, but he immediately recognized the photograph inside when Black Knight zoomed in on it.

“Has anyone updated you on Dr. Rylander’s…situation?”

A few days earlier, Six had picked out one of the lesser-used Providence transport vehicles for them to steal. He went through it using a device of Holiday’s design, disabling any tracking systems or listening devices before they left. A large part of him didn’t think it was smart to steal a Providence vehicle at all, but they didn’t have many other options. There were Providence vehicles, Providence planes, Providence motorbikes, or…a red sports car. Which was just as flashy and attention-grabbing, but without any of the weapons or armor.

They’d got on the road silently - Six didn’t comment on the bag of small, electronic prototypes that Holiday snagged, and she didn’t comment on the number of sharp, pointy weapons that were stashed in the back of the vehicle.

Neither of them really commented on anything at all. They barely spoke as they exited, and continued to not speak for the first hour of being on the road.

It was a strange situation, obviously. And somehow it felt like there was a significant pressure on whoever was going to be the first to break the silence - once they started talking, then it was real. They were gone from Providence, maybe forever. As long as they stayed quiet, it was almost like they could still turn around and go back. Nothing was final yet.

But that obviously wasn’t true. Once they’d made it past the hangar gates, they’d committed.

About an hour and twenty minutes into the drive, Six took a deep breath and decided that he’d be the one to speak first. “I have access to an old safehouse up in Oregon. I think that should be our first destination.”

“Mhmm,” Holiday mumbled, leaning on her hand and staring out the window at the night sky.

“If we keep up a good pace tomorrow, we should be able to get there by the end of the day.”

“Hmm.”

Six squeezed the steering wheel, knowing full-well they’d need to stop at a motel somewhere within the next few hours. He also knew that his time estimate was low - they’d probably want to stick to backroads, meaning the trip would take an extra few hours. “I…know this isn’t a comfortable situation for you. I’m sorry,” he said awkwardly, not really sure how to get her to talk to him more.

“No, it’s fine, Six,” Holiday said, pulling away from the window and leaning back in her seat. “I’m just…worried.”

“That’s understandable.”

“More than usual. I…” She took a deep breath. “I talked to Caesar.”

Six had to stop himself from rolling his eyes. He did not like Caesar and he really didn’t understand Holiday’s relationship with him. “I told you not to do that.”

“I know. But…I wanted to be sure where he stood.” Holiday scratched the top of her hand. “He already knew we were planning to leave. And by now, I’m sure he’s talked to Black Knight about it.”

“They seem to have some kind of history,” Six added. He’d had a feeling Black Knight would be aware of their defection almost immediately, so he wasn’t any more concerned than he already was.

“Yeah…I got that vibe, too. I can’t imagine how.”

“I would assume she was somehow involved in the original Nanite Project,” Six suggested.

Holiday stared at him, frowning deeply. “That’s a terrifying thought. As far as I’ve understood, the project was extremely confidential, contained to a small group of scientists and lab assistants. She doesn’t exactly strike me as assistant material.”

“Me, neither.” Six took a sharp turn, leading them down another sandy road. “There had to have been some financiers involved, she could be related to them.”

“That’s true.” Holiday put a hand to her chin in thought. “Have you heard from…him, yet? I’d imagine he’s looking into her background as much as possible.”

“Not yet.” Six could feel his burner phone sitting heavy in his pocket. “I’m giving him until the end of the week.”

There was a moment of silence before Holiday responded. “And…then what?”

Six squeezed the steering wheel again.

Holiday stared at him.

“Then…I don’t know.” His first thought was that he’d reach out again or try to find him, but both of those options could put the man in danger. More danger than he was already probably in. The reasonable thing to do would be…wait longer. But he could be annoyed about it, at least. “Then we might have to rethink some of our plans.”

She shook her head and chuckled. “Great. I’m loving the confidence,” she said, staring out the window again. There was something about a dark, starry sky in the middle of the desert that was always comforting. It probably helped that the bright white lights of Providence were so far away that they could see each and every star, but Holiday found herself unable to look away.

Six glanced at her out of the corner of his eye. “Maybe you should get some sleep.”

“My heart is racing so fast, Six.” She leaned her head down flat against her arm. “I don’t think I’ll be falling asleep for a while.”

He didn’t respond, opting to focus on the road instead. Her answer wasn’t surprising. He couldn’t really imagine what this experience was like for her, as someone who’d lived a…relatively normal life. Six was under the impression that she grew up in a normal neighborhood, went to a normal school, had normal friendships and relationships - that everything was normal up until the Nanite Event. But the Event was experienced by everyone everywhere, so he supposed that was normal, too.

Going into hiding, leaving your phones and cutting up your credit cards, not being able to see friends or colleagues for who-knew-how-long…it was daunting.

The road they were on was long and empty. Six didn’t want to use GPS, afraid that they could be tracked with it. Hopefully California wasn’t too different now than it was six years earlier.

“...thank you,” Holiday said suddenly, still looking out the window.

He turned his head slightly, unsure why she would be saying that to him. “For what?”

“For trusting me, I guess.”

Six turned back to the road. He hadn’t expected that. It’d been clear to him for several weeks that his older self had trusted Rex and Dr. Holiday more than anyone he’d ever known - considering all of his prior close relationships were with killers and bounty hunters, that wasn’t really saying much. But it was very significant to him. Something that he’d taken seriously.

“A few days after I lost my memories, Knight and I had a…talk,” Six said. “About Rex. And about you.”

Holiday held back a sarcastic comment regarding whatever insulting things White Knight might’ve said about her and chose to sit and let him finish.

“He certainly had a lot to say about the both of you. But he made sure I knew that I could trust either of you with my life.”

She stared at him, her eyebrows raised in surprise.

“He wouldn’t say something like that unless he really meant it.”

Holiday blinked slowly at that, suddenly thinking back to her less-than-stellar reaction to hearing that White Knight was dead. Maybe she should’ve been a little sadder, actually, instead of just sad for Six. She always assumed the animosity between her and Knight meant that he’d badmouth her in any situation, but…clearly, she had the wrong idea.

“Well,” she said softly, looking out the window again. “That was surprisingly nice of him to say.”

Caesar noticed immediately which files had been altered. He almost wished that Dr. Holiday was still nearby so he could point out to her how she could’ve scrubbed her sister’s name from Providence’s databases more efficiently - but he supposed, if she was still there, then the issue wouldn’t have come up in the first place.

Beverly was an interesting EVO specimen, he couldn’t deny that. Caesar still had Dr. Moses’ machine in the back of his lab, waiting to be tinkered on again during a free moment. Though, as Chief Research Officer, he didn’t have many free moments anymore.

It would be fairly simple to reverse Dr. Holiday’s edits and return Beverly Holiday’s information to the files they were meant to be in. But…studying Beverly Holiday, the world’s only cured incurable EVO, only made sense when Providence’s goal was finding a cure. But currently, Providence was focused on control. Curing was no longer a priority or even a consideration, not until Rex came back.

With that in mind, Caesar skipped past those files. He even took a moment to search Beverly’s name and see if there were any files she was mentioned in that were restricted from Dr. Holiday’s access.

He found the original employee contract she’d signed several years earlier, which not only mentioned Beverly, but discussed the details of the compromise Dr. Holiday had struck with her original boss, Dr. Fell. Caesar was unfamiliar with the scientist, though his immediate impression from the document was fairly negative. The man seemed to care more about his ego than the work he was doing.

Caesar quickly removed the entire clause related to Beverly from the contract, knowing that Black Knight wouldn’t care enough to notice it’d been messed with recently.

“Dr. Salazar. Did you find anything missing that would require us to send a team after Dr. Holiday and Agent Six?”

He pressed a finger to the communicator in his ear. “No. It’s possible they copied data, but so far, nothing is missing.”

“Good. Keep scanning, but I’m sure the committee’s concerns are unwarranted.”

“I’ll let you know if I find anything.”

Caesar sighed, staring at the screen in front of him. He never spent much time getting to know Dr. Holiday, nor did he particularly care to, but he felt like he understood her. At least, he understood how much she wanted to keep her sister safe.

He just hoped he could do the same for Rex.

“Just sleep on the other side of the bed, Six. This doesn’t have to be weird.”

It was like a bad movie - the first motel they stopped at was completely full, and the next one had only one room available with only one bed. Holiday booked it immediately, too tired to care, not realizing that Six was going to act all gentlemanly and chivalrous once they stepped into their room. He repeatedly claimed that he’d be fine to sleep on the floor, since their room didn’t come with a couch, and Holiday repeatedly told him it was unnecessary.

“I’m just trying to make this as comfortable for you as possible,” he grumbled, pulling off his suit jacket and button-up shirt.

Holiday glanced at his shirtlessness for only a moment before grabbing her pajamas and walking to the bathroom. “I’ll be perfectly comfortable,” she said through the door, a little ashamed of herself for checking him out.

Six grumbled something in response that she couldn’t hear, and Holiday looked in the bathroom mirror at herself. She was wearing shorts and a t-shirt, not her usual pajamas, but they took up a lot less space in her bag. It felt strange to see herself like that - casual clothes, hair down, makeup off - she already felt like a different person than the famous Providence scientist she’d been for so many years.

She exited the bathroom and quickly got under the covers before Six could see her or say anything about her state of undress. She didn’t really think he would, but there was still the lingering memory of his first day without memories where he threw her every line he could think of. It was one of those things that stuck in her mind on occasion.

Holiday laid back and stared up at the ceiling. The paint was peeling a bit and it irritated her, but she also appreciated that it was something she could focus her mind on.

The bed creaked and moved as Six sat down - on the side closer to the door and windows, of course. Letting him take the, quote, more dangerous side of the bed, was the only way she could get him to agree to share.

“Maybe we should go to Hong Kong,” Holiday said suddenly, still staring at the ceiling.

Six wasn’t lying down yet, still sitting on the edge of the bed and staring at their door. “Why’s that?”

“Rex has some friends there. I…I mean, I don’t know them or how to get in touch with them or anything, but we could at least try to let them know what’s going on.”

“Hmm. That’ll have to wait a few weeks. We won’t be able to leave the country for a while.”

“Right, yeah, of course.” Holiday sighed and laid a hand over her eyes. “I just…it feels weird to not be doing anything. I’ve been working nonstop for half a decade and now I’m just supposed to sit and do nothing while you drive us around from state to state, staying out of sight and hoping to get a nanite reading that matches Rex’s biosignature. It could be years before he comes back.”

The bed creaked as Six finally laid down, though he didn’t get under the covers, which Holiday assumed was some shoddy attempt at protecting her modesty. She found it annoying, but knew it was easier to just let him have his way than argue over it.

“You could drive sometimes, if you’d like.”

For whatever reason, that answer made her laugh. Holiday chuckled and turned onto her side so she was facing him completely, and still had a smile on her face as the laughter died down. “Yeah, I guess that’s true.”

Six turned only his head and stared at her. He hadn’t taken his sunglasses off yet, but even with them on, Holiday could feel his eyes boring into hers. A light blush grazed her cheeks as they stared at each other from their sides of the bed and she was struck with the thought of how much she’d wanted something like this for so, so many years. She still kind of wanted it, but…it was different now. He was different.

She turned onto her back again and continued staring at the peeling paint. “Sorry. I guess I’m just feeling stir-crazy already. It’s a really strange feeling to not have anything to do, y’know?”

He felt one of her hands land on the comforter, precariously close to his own, and quickly pulled his away. Obviously he’d imagined what it would be like to share a bed with Holiday, but…not quite like this. There were too many things going on in their lives and too many complicated feelings between them for anything else to happen, but the thought of making a move did cross his tired mind.

Six quickly squashed it down, sitting up so he could go brush his teeth and finish getting ready. They had a very long day ahead of them. And a long day after that. And then a long week, and maybe a long month, and…they could end up being on the road for a while.

“Yeah, it is,” he finally answered. “But we’ll get used to it.”

#generator rex #rebecca holiday #agent six #caesar salazar #cesar salazar #black knight #bobo haha #carrofics #all the interim #holix

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