#now no doubt queue hate me
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Emmy
Summary: You’ve had a crush on your best friend Emily for a while but see her flirting with JJ, or so you think…
Word Count: 2.1k
Fluff, self doubt? slight miscommunication
Pairings: Emily Prentiss x fem!reader
!NOT PROOFREAD!
Reader POV:
Why does she have to sit like that?? Like it's so hot. Never thought I'd have a thing for man spreading but here we are. To be honest I never thought I had a thing for brunettes but then Miss Emily Prentiss waltzed into my life and now my perspective of everything has changed.
She's talking to JJ about something and I see Jayj brush over Emily arm, she's flirting, teasing. I'm suddenly grounded again and look down at the file I'm supposed to be working on. I can feel that godforsaken lump in my throat forming. Fuck sake, I can't cry at work. Especially over some stupid unrequited crush. I though Emily was just busy and that's why she's been blowing me off more lately but clearly not. She's found someone else.
I knew Emily would never like me, but damn did it have to hurt this bad? We're best friends which doesn't help the situation although I thought I made my feeling abundantly clear with my glances, touches, comments and flirting. Clearly not. I look up again at the sound of Emily laughing. I could listen to her laugh in repeat all day, it's the best sound in the world in my opinion. But, I soon realise the reason her head is thrown back and her cheeks have become flushed is because of JJ. She's laughing at some joke she made.
I take this as my queue to take my work and go sit with Garcia for a bit, she's like my sister we don't have secrets. I tell her everything, she tells me everything. That's how we work.
I'm walking down the corridor lost in my head and accidentally bump into Rossi.
"Hey, kiddo. Slow down, your gunna run someone over if you keep that speed up!" He said light heartedly with a warm smile. I look at him and mumble a sorry before I try continue my previous beeline to Pen's office. He obviously realised something is off as he grabs my bicep before I can run off again.
"Y/L/N, are you okay?" Those stupid three words, 'are you okay?'. I hate it when people ask because then the waterworks take that as their signal to turn on.
I turn and look him, teary eyed. "Yeah, I'm okay, ah uhm I was just going to see Garcia."
I say chocking back tears.
"Oh kid." He immediately brings me into his embrace, rubbing my back soothingly. This is his way of saying 'I'm here if you wanna talk but I won't press' and that's why I love Rossi. He's always there but never forces you to talk before you happy to. I pull away after a minute.
"Thanks Rossi. I needed that, but I should get to Penelope I have a couple things to run by her." He could tell I was lying and that I was only going to Pen because I needed to talk to her but he went with it anyway.
"Okay well, I'm around if you need okay?" I nod and continue walking to Garcia's office.
I knock the pattern that me and Pen made up my first day on the team so she'd know it was me knocking on the door. "Come in my love!" I hear her call out cheerfully from the other side. Her chair swivels round so she can see me and her once chirpy mood is instantaneously changed to one of extreme concern. "Oh honey what's wrong?" She says as she brings me into a hug.
"It's stupid, Pen." I say realising how childish I'm being right now.
"No," she says pulling away so I can look he in the eye "Your emotions are never stupid. Don't invalidate your feeling y/n/n. Ever." I smile gratefully at her and pull a chair from the corner and sit next to her at her desk. "Okay, so..." and off I went.
I told her about my massive crush on my best friend and how we have been flirting on and off, spending more time alone together, the glances the lingering touches. I told her everything. My cheeks were stained with tears by the time I finished.
"Honey, I don't understand why you're crying though that's all so amazing, what's got you down?" She says the confusion evident in her voice.
"She's been blowing me off so much recently and I didn't know why but I think I just figured it out." My skin around my nail is now bleeding slightly where I've been picking at it. A habit both Emily and me share.
"What is it?" Garcia says realising my hesitation.
"I don't wanna sound jealous or crazy or just downright mean but I think she likes JJ. I mean just now they were talking in the Bullpen and JJ was touching her arm and it wasn't just an innocent touch you know? I could just tell. Then when I tried to ignore it and finish my work I heard Emily laugh at one of her jokes and I looked up to see Em with her head back laughing and Jayj's hand on her shoulder." I choke back sobs while ranting to Pen when someone knocks on the door. "Shit." I mumble under my breath and Pen tells me not to worry and just face the computers and look busy. So I do just that.
"Hey Garcia I need a really quick favour from you if that's okay?" I hear the person say from the doorway. At this moment I think the universe must have it out for me at this point. The person who needs a favour from Garcia is the exact woman I've just spent the last 30 minutes crying over. Emily Fucking Prentiss.
"Oh hi y/n/n!" She says all too cheerfully to be the person who's been cancelling all her plans with me.
"Hi Emmy." After I say hi back I immediately regret it because you can hear the tears in my voice, it's gone all groggy and horrible.
"Oh my god, are you okay?" she rushes over to my side after she hears me speak and brings my head to her stomach as she's standing and i'm sitting. Even though she's the reason I'm in this state to begin with I can't help but wrap my arms around her waist and stuff my head into her shirt and take in her comforting presence.
"Uhm I'm gunna leave you two be for a minute." I hear Pen say before she leaves and I hear the door click shut.
Goddamnit Garcia. I think to myself.
"What's got you all worked up, huh?" She says in the most soft, loving voice I've ever heard which just makes me swoon even more.
"Okay, look Em, I'm gunna say a lot of things and I just need you to listen right now okay?" She grabs Garcia's chair and sits opposite me, our knees brushing as she takes my hands in hers to make me stop picking my nails.
"Okay, go for it. I'm all ears." she stares into my eyes and I gaze back into her honey brown eyes, god I could stare at them all day and never get bored.
"You're the reason I'm crying Emmy." she looks taken aback but keeps true to her word and let's me continue nonetheless.
"Emily, I am so scared to say this but there's truly no other way to explain why I'm so upset without telling you. I'm so helplessly in love with you it hurts Em. I thought I was dropping hints with the flirting and the touches and glances but clearly I wasn't obvious enough. You keep blowing me off and saying you're too busy to hang out but I realise now that's not the case. I saw you and JJ in the Bullpen today and the way she was looking at you and how her hand lingered on your arm, and the way she held your shoulder when you were laughing. Even just the way you laughed you threw your head back and everything. Emmy, if you're into JJ that's fine but I just wished you told so I could be let down gently and not feeling like I've been stabbed in the heart."
About halfway through my little rant I started crying again and she started to say my name to try get me to stop talking but I wouldn't listen because I needed to get my feelings out in the air.
"Are you done?" She asked as she brings my hands, that's she's still griping, into her lap, causing me to lean a little closer to her.
"Yes." I say quietly so only she could hear.
"Okay now I'm going to do something and you're not allowed to interrupt me, okay?" The only expression I could see on her face was love and admiration which confused me but I nodded anyway.
"Good. Now, what I want to say is, I love you too y/n/n." A smile is plastered across her face as she confesses to me, my face was quite the opposite. My jaw was on the floor and my eyes were slightly wide.
"What do you mea-" all of a sudden her finger on my lips silenced me.
"I'm not finished." She says with a smirk.
Her finger that was on my lips, now rests on the side of my face cupping my cheek. Her thumb is brushing over my skin as she pulls me in.
Our lips collide and I know it's super cliché but I felt sparks. It's like all the doubts I'd ever had had just dissipated within a millisecond of her lips being on mine. Her free hand moved to my waist as I deepened the kiss by weaving my hand into her raven curls and pulling her impossibly closer. Slowly she coaxes me off the chair and into her lap, and she rests her hand on my hip the other firmly planted on the back of my neck, making sure I don't pull away. Her lips glided across mine like we had done it a thousand times before. Her tongue grazed my bottom lip asking for entrance which I gave her.
After a few minutes of just making out her lips detached from mine and made their way to my neck. I leaned my head to the side to give her more access. She pulled down part of my shirt and sucked at the pale skin. She pulled away and kissed the now purple spot on my chest before covering it back up with my shirt and making her way back to my mouth.
This time the kisses were sweet and short, we broke apart to look at each other when I broke the silence.
"What does this mean Emmy?" I say, My voice full of hope.
"Well my tongue was just down your throat I hope it's clear what this means." She joked and I let out a laugh. "I want to be yours y/n/n, if you'll let me. Also, I never had nor will I ever have a thing for JJ, I promise sweetheart." The use of the nickname made me smile brightly and she noticed taking a mental note to keep using them. She kissed my forehead as I began to speak. "Of course I'll be your girlfriend Em."
At this she kissed me, but this one felt different. All the love and passion we had for one another was poured into this short interaction.
We pulled away as we heard the door click open again and watched Garcia walk in.
"Oh my god! You guys!!" She squealed delighted at the scene in front of her. I smiled and climbed off Emily's lap. "Are you two..?" Pen said, gesturing between me and Emily.
"We sure are!" Em said, looking at me lovingly. I just nodded and thanked Garcia for listening to me cry for nothing before making me way to the door.
Emily's hand found it's way into mine as we began to walk out of Pen's office both smiling and chatting quietly just to one another.
As we walked back into the Bullpen Rossi looked out his office window and gave me a thumbs up, I returned the gesture and sat down at my desk, filled with happiness and briming with excitement about what the future holds.
#wlw#lesbian pride#wlw fanfic#lesbian#sapphic#emily prentiss#criminal minds#wlw pride#emily prentiss x reader#emily prentiss x you
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Hey, is it still open ? If it is, I've got something to ask.
See, the university that I attend is apparently quite focused on sports, when compared to degrees such as mine in linguistics. It means that, on my way to class, I see a lot of hot men with great hairstyles, and I've always felt a bit jealous at that. Don't get me wrong, I love the eyecandy, but it always made me wonder what would happen if, one day, I entered the wrong building.
Could you help me to see what would happen ? Just as an experiment, of course, I want to go back to my degree nice and easy after that...
Team Player
Linguistics? Oh dear, oh dear. I hate to be the one to break it to you, but you won’t be getting anywhere with that. But don’t worry, I’m feeling generous today. Okay, listen up. It’s very simple, all you have to do is follow that hot jock with the gelled blond hair to the left. No, no, not the right, the left. Take note of his smile. The way he laughs at literally nothing. Why? Oh, no reason…
Whoops. The locker room you say? What a blunder. Egg on my face, I tell ya. But while you’re there, maybe it’s worth taking in the sights and….smells. Every step is like walking through the humid air of the jungle, a breeze of sweaty jockstraps assaults you from every direction as the Football team get changed. You fail to avert your eyes from their hot glistening bodies, the display of pure strength and testosterone.
The jock you followed in notices you, notices certain inadequacies that need amending if you’re gonna be on the team. The team? Yes, the team. That messy hair for one. You barely get the opportunity to argue as he sits you down and scrapes the clippers across your skull. The buzzing sound makes you shiver. An overwhelming lightheaded feeling allows him to easily tilt your head down and mow the back. Running his hands through what little remains as he gells it up into a spiky jock style. Patting your strapped rear and padded thighs as the dirty, preused tight leggings pull up your legs and cover your cupped crotch. Your mouth opens, opens before your brain has engaged, just hanging ajar for several seconds. “B—bro.” The word is more of a proclamation than anything else. You impulsively adjust your junk, a clear shadow visibly outlines where your big balls push the cup outward.
He tells you that the newbies are liable if the team loses. That would be you. Taking one…or many, so to speak, for the team is the accepted punishment. He tells you this while stroking at his own cupped groin, a rather large bulge growing as you swallow hard.
Before you know it, you’re completely kitted out in the heavy uniform, a thick helmet lowering over your head - silencing those niggling doubts in the back of your increasingly tiny, sports obsessed mind. It’s like a deprivation chamber for your head, your inner monologue being blocked. The only thing that matters to you now is the game.
The game.
The ball.
The team.
The… punishment.
The twitching of your cock and ass makes you wonder if losing would be all that bad. You stand up and admire yourself. You barely recognise what you see, uncontrollably getting turned on by your own appearance. Were your arms always that chunky, that tanned? Like prime cooked beef hanging from your wide shoulders. Looking like a proper jock boy…smelling like one too. Huhuh. You turn, smiling dimly back at your bro. Laughing out loud for a reason you don’t remember. Uhh, I’m sure it’ll come to you…eventually.
I mean, you’re just trying out something new, right? No harm done, you rationalise as you sprint and achieve your first touchdown, your memory of…le..lin….lingizztics? Completely knocked loose from your ‘bro’d out, empty head.
Of course, the team loses anyway. Though you, and the rest of the team have suspicions about how accidental your ‘fumbles’ really were. Never-mind, that didn’t matter so much anymore, not while the whole team form an orderly queue behind your bent over rear. Your blonde bro is first up, he spreads your sweaty cheeks wide, spits on your crack and lines himself up for the ‘shot’. “You ready to learn how to handle some balls dude?”
“Hell yeah brah!”
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Neteyam x avatar!reader
part 2 :))
genre: fluff
part 1 part 3
a/n: i have no clue what to add to part 1, but here you go!
When Lo'ak suggested that you should try and experience the adrenaline of riding an Ikran, the vibrant blue color got drained from your face. You admired the creature, no doubt in that, but the thought of being among the clouds frightened you, especially if it meant having Lo'ak as the escort.
"No," you push yourself through the doorway of your bedroom, passing the youngest son of Toruk Makto with a full box of Norm's paperwork in your arms. "I am not stepping out of this laboratory to fly a banshee, especially if it means you get to skip your sparring match with Neteyam."
"Come on," Lo'ak rolls his eyes and skips after you, dodging the 'happy birthday' sign that Max insisted Norm hangs above your bedroom door the day prior with a quick bend. You place the box down on Norm's precisely clean desk with a huff, your best friend stealing a peek over your shoulder at the statistics with a frown. "It'll be fun! Definitely much more of a fun than this.." he points to the papers, "mess."
You pinch the bridge of your nose and turn to face the blue-skinned boy with a sigh. "Lo'ak-"
"Don't be a wuss," you send a scowl his way. He brings his hands up in surrender, the corners of his mouth curving into a weak smirk. Lo'ak knows how to hit the nerve of yours. "Flying an Ikran is our tradition. If you wanna fit in, you need to do it." you walk away from him with an annoyed groan. "Besides, i'm gonna be there with you!" Lo'ak calls after you, chuckling when he receives a whine in return from the hallway.
---
"I hate you," you breathe out, knees weakening and heartbeat speeding up. You are currently sitting cross-legged on the upper chamber of the Hometree, hands tied behind your back.
When you noticed a note on your door in the morning from Norm that reminded you of his and Max's quick trip to collect more examples from Pandora's flora, you used their absence to sneak out in your avatar and wander around the forest, unaware of the pair of yellow eyes watching your every move.
"I wanna pluck your eyes out right now," you state with a threatening tone when Lo'ak approaches you with his Ikran. You pull your knees to your chest as they stop in front of your shivering figure, clearly amused by your reaction. "I thought you said you and Neteyam have a sparring match in the morning."
Lo'ak pats the side of his banshee before he kneels beside you, excitement present in his gaze. "We do," he nods as his hands travel to your tied ones. He frees them but immediately traps them in his, knowing you will try to escape any minute if he doesn't. "I'm just not going to show up."
"That's awful," you voice your opinion about the situation and let the Na'vi push you forward. Your chest tightens when the two of you reach the Ikran, tears forming in the corners of your eyes. "Lo'ak, please.."
Your best friend places one of his hands on your shoulder while the other finds its way on his banshee and begins to caress her skin affectionately. "Do you trust me?" he locks his eyes on the back of your head and notices the hairstyle change, which probably is from Kiri and Tuk.
"I do," you swallow hard when his Ikran slightly rubs her head against the back of your shaking hand, not noticing Lo'ak connecting his queue to hers. "I do trust you."
"Good," he grasps your waist and lifts you up with ease, putting you on the creature. Unintentionally, you swing one of your legs over to the other side of his colorful Ikran, heartbeat increasing when she releases a screech. Lo'ak positions himself in front of you and finds a steady grip on the banshee while you wrap your arms around his waist. "Ready?"
"No-" with a whistle, the Ikran runs to the edge of the upper chamber and you bury your scrunched face in Lo'ak's shoulder. "I hate you!"
The beginning of the unpleasant flight is mostly filled with gliding and slow pace, but after Lo'ak notices the lack of your screams and swears, he starts to mess around with the speed and adds some tricks to spice it up.
"It isn't that bad, is it?" he glances over his shoulder at you, chuckling. You slap his shoulder-blade in disagreement. When your hand meets his vibrant blue skin, Lo'ak takes a sharp turn to dodge a floating island he didn't notice before he dedicated his attention to you. The sudden change accompanies the pressure of the wind around you, pushing your side. Your fingertips brush Lo'ak's bicep as you fall off his Ikran, eyes widening. "Shit!"
A panicked shout of your best friend's name scratches the inside of your throat and strikes Lo'ak with guilt and fear. His Ikran senses the enormous amount of panic and dives after you.
Your falling avatar is caught by a strong pair of arms, saved from a harsh fall and possible death. You catch your breath as Lo'ak stops next to your savior, relief present in his gaze.
"What the hell were you thinking?!" Neteyam pulls your shaking figure to his chest and glares at his irresponsible brother. Your arm sneaks behind his shoulders while his lecture continues to pass through your ringing ears.
"I didn't expect them to fall!" Lo'ak tries to defend himself, unable to absorb the situation. Neteyam scoffs and adjusts your position in his embrace, encouraging you to spread your legs and make yourself comfortable - promising he has a secure grip on you and that you're allowed to move. "Y/n, I'm sorry."
"It's okay-"
"No, it's not," Neteyam cuts you off and points to his younger brother, ears pulled back. He clicks his tongue, "You're so fucking lucky they aren't injured. If they were, you would be headless."
Lo'ak lowers his head in shame as you lean backwards, your savior's breath hitching when your back is fully pressed against his chest. To say you are intimidated is an understatement. Neteyam doesn't curse often, hell, he doesn't curse at all because he wants to live up to his father's expectations, but when your health and safety is involved, he isn't afraid to break the rules.
"Go home," The Olo'etykan-in-training commands, fighting the urge to beat some sense into his brother. "And help Kiri with the preparations for the ceremony." Lo'ak opens his mouth to protest, but with one quick raise of Neteyam's eyebrows he doesn't waste a second and swallows his words.
"Again," The younger son makes eye contact with you and scratches the back of his neck, embarrassed. "I'm sorry." you send him a nod of forgiveness and assure him that you are going to be okay with a soft smile. With a stern look piercing through his skull, Lo'ak disappears in the clouds above you.
Neteyam places his forehead on the nape of your neck and sighs with relief. "You okay?" he hums, his lips brushing against your skin which sends goosebumps down your spine. Your hand travels to his knee and leaves gentle rubs on top of it as he shifts in his spot behind you.
"You scared the hell out of me," he confesses and pats the side of his Ikran, tightening his grip around your waist. You chuckle under your breath, pressing your back to his chest when the banshee begins to move forward. "Thank you, Eywa, for the sickening feeling I got when Lo'ak didn't show up to the sparring match."
"Thank you, Eywa, for sending this brave warrior to save me."
Neteyam slaps your thigh gently and presses a sweet kiss on the back of your head, chuckling. "Shut it."
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Miya&Mia's Tickletober Day 8 - Haunted
Howl x Sophie
A/N: We don't have a cute picture of this couple because I didn't queue this and now I'm suffering djdkkd I hope you enjoy it!
"Aaaagh! I'm going to die!"
"Didn't you say you had everything under control?"
"I'm trying my best here, Sophie!"
Sophie covered her mouth and giggled. Only a few minutes ago Howl had appeared back from his business with a big mirror in his hands. It was very beautiful, adorned with a frame made of pure, shining gold and with figures of flowers and wild animals. Very beautiful, but it made Sophie feel a little uncomfortable.
Howl had explained that it was a haunted mirror. An old lady living in a rather old house had asked him to fix it, Howl had accepted, thinking that it was something easy to do, after all he was the great Wizard, Howl Pendragon Jenkins, but now he was in this situation.
"Let me go!"
A pair of ghostly arms had come out from inside the mirror and had grabbed Howl's wrists in a tight grip. Sophie's poor husband had tried desperately to free himself, but no matter how hard he pulled and how many spells he muttered in different languages, the hands holding him wouldn't even tremble.
"Howl, I think this is not working."
"That I can see, Sophie!" She giggled again as her husband kept struggling. "Uugh! I hate this!"
Thankfully for Sophie, the mirror hadn't grabbed her, but she was getting a little worried about Howl. She didn't know much magic and she doubted Markl could help them at all.
"This is troublesome, Howl. What will we do?"
"Aaagghh!" Another pair of hands reached out from the mirror and latched to Howl's waist. "Let me go, dammit! I'm gonna-a-ah! W-Wait n-no, nahahahat thahahat!"
Sophie widened her eyes as Howl giggled brightly, squirming and trying with renewed force to pull himself free as the new pair of hands started tickling his sides? What was going on?
"Did that old lady mention anything like this- oh!" One more hand sneaked out from the mirror and gave Sophie a beautiful red rose. "Oh, thank you! Hey, Howl, I think it likes me!"
"Sohohohophie! Hehehelp mehehehe!" The hands holding his wrists lifted his arms above his head and the other set of hands moved to his ribs, making him cackle as he threw his head back, his feet stomping against the ground.
"Ah, but I'm kinda liking this mirror! Look, they're giving me a massage!" Sophie said, nearly melting as an extra pair of hands gently massaged her shoulders. "Ah, so nice."
"PLEHEHEASE, nohohot thehehere!" Howl laughed hysterically as his ribs kept under attack. Little tears of laughter were running down his cheeks and even though Sophie was enjoying his laughter very much, he knew her poor husband was too ticklish for his own good and a quick break was needed already.
"Hmm, hey, kind mirror. Could you maybe stop tickling Howl for now? He's very ticklish, you see, I think-"
"SOHOHOHOPHIE!"
"-he won't be able to stand more tickling, poor thing."
And with that, the tickling stopped and the two pairs of hands holding Howl disappeared inside the mirror again, but the ones massaging Sophie stayed.
"You are really kind, Mirror," she said, seeing her husband collapsing on his knees, giggling softly.
"I'm g-gohonna tahake th-this mirrors back."
"No. I want it."
Howl lifted his face. "What?!"
"Can we keep it?"
"Are you crazy, Sophie? This thing is a menace! What if- N-Nohoho! Ahahaha!"
"We're going to keep it," Sophie said. She had launched at him and was tickling him, the hands massaging her moved to grab Howl's wrists.
"Ahahahahokahahay! Okahahay! We'll keheheheep it! I'll buhuhuy it frohohohom the old lahahady! Plehehease!"
"You are too kind, Howl! Welcome to the family, dear Mirror!"
#miya&mia's tickletober#Tickletober#tickletober 2023#howl's moving castle#sophie hatter#howl pendragon#sophie x Howl#ticklish!Howl
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okay listen. LISTEN. i KNOW that rn nobody cares about my ‘newsies go west’ au where jack leaves for santa fe and newsies keep following him. but just think about it.
jack and katherine break up like a month after the strike (because, seriously, they are Not good for each other) and jack has nothing tying him down anymore. he’s entirely too old to be a newsie, he’s longing for change, and his girlfriend just left him, so obviously the only thing to do is use all of his savings to buy a train ticket to santa fe.
and THEN think about how once he gets there he just needs a break to start new and be the cowboy he always wanted to be, so he stops sending letters back. AND ON TOP OF THAT think about how because of that half of the newsies think he’s dead, the other half think he hates them, and crutchie (HIS ADOPTIVE BROTHER) is so angry at everyone. angry at the newsies for doubting jack, angry at jack for leaving them, and angry at himself for not going with jack when he offered so long ago.
consider race winning an enormous sum of money in a risky gamble (like. multiple hundreds) and getting lots of important people pissed, so he needs to leave New York. he has this half assed plan to head to santa fe and find jack, maybe get one of those fancy plots of land they give to the settlers for dirt cheap, start a ranch.
now consider: race and crutchie grew up together in the lodging with jack. they’ve always been close to jack, but not to each other. race doesn’t wanna leave alone, he’s a social guy and needs someone to watch his back. so he asks crutchie to go with him. and crutchie says yes.
queue like two months of travel and rootin tootin cowboy shenanigans
THE PEOPLE ARE NOT WITH ME ON THIS ONE BUT I KNOW IN MY HEART I AM RIGHT
#THIS HAS BEEN BOILING IN MY BRAIN FOR MONTHS#newsies#katherine plumber#jack kelly#cowboy jack kelly#racetrack higgins#crutchie morris#crutchie newsies#race newsies#jack newsies#katherine newsies#wild west#western#cowboy
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it's always been you-kyojuro rengoku
(anime in gif:unknown)
tw:arranged marriage, short mention of abuse (shinjuro rengoku)
initial tags:pre-established reader background, kyojuro rengoku, female reader, demon slayer:kimetsu no yaiba, kyojuro rengoku lives au
genre:romance, slow burn (attempted), angst (if you squint. maybe?)
story playlist:
let you break my heart again-laufey ft. philharmonia orchestra
here with me-d4vd
in the embers-sleeping at last
tv-billie eilish
i’m with you-vance joy
authors note:the last few days have just been filled with so many potential ideas that i haven't exactly fleshed out (yet). today is the day i (hopefully) feed my moots with more kyo content! talk to you later! enjoy!
-ˋˏ✄┈┈┈┈
Morning breaks as it brings a sheer glimpse of hope for the new day. The first rays of subtle light pour into the windows of two separate bedrooms. The marriage of two young souls illuminates in such a way that would shock many. Two bedrooms across from one another. One holds the secrets of a man who is shrouded in complete mystery. While the other, holds the heart of a woman who yearns for more.
They married in the fall with hopes that in the upcoming new year, a child would be conceived. However, the pair still hadn't even shared their first kiss. A marriage with an empty marital bed and empty hearts. A constant reminder of what was always meant to signify their relationship-
Simply an arrangement.
__
Walking along The Flame Estate halls, a woman of poise and grace emerges. You would expect nothing less from such a woman born into such prominence. Perhaps this is what annoys him? Perhaps she is overwhelming while in his presence? For over a year, each conversation they surprisingly had was always filled with slight tension. As if her mere existence brought pain to the man of the house. She never understood why, her mind just filled with constant doubt-
”Why marry someone you don't entirely agree to?” ”How can one hate me so much?”
Her thoughts echo throughout her mind. Despite this, she is determined to remain by his side. Playing the role of his perfect wife-
Because while he would never admit it…you are the perfect wife.
You are perfect for him.
__
My mind races as I walk towards our kitchen. My fingers trace along the hem of my robe, before finally grabbing hold of the soft fabric. Ruby red that compliments my delicate skin-the red boosting the radiant fire within my heart. I was a fool to think this would catch his attention. Nothing seems to ever do just that. Oh how I wish to be more than just strangers.
Breathing deeply, I prepare a few bowls and place them on the countertop, careful to keep the noise to a minimum. However, before losing myself, he makes his presence known. At this moment, I take time to watch him. Pulling a chair out from the dining table, he takes a seat.
“Good morning Kyojuro! Perfect timing, I was just about to start breakfast!”-I spoke with a familiar fondness. I can’t help but crave for more, my voice makes that abundantly clear.
A grunt of satisfaction for my duty leaves his lips. As if this is my queue, I begin to cook-
All for him.
__
His father was estranged for a time from the young boys of the home. Senjuro, being the youngest, had a hard time remembering his mother. As if the young boy couldn't go through any more hardship, his father grew distant and abusive after her passing. Though, from my understanding, the relationship between the three grew recently.
Kyojuro, after dancing with death, had survived the events of The Mugen Train. The battle with an upper moon demon had changed his heart according to many. During his recovery however, the light grew brighter on the other side. While he lost the battle, he gained what their dear mother would have wanted.
Now, though not officially retired, he still takes on light missions to remain active duty. I never pried where I felt I couldn't, at least…not to him. His father approached my family over a year ago, believing marriage would help ease his eldest son into a more relaxing life. I was deemed the perfect match for such an outstanding man. A young woman who was raised in the same prefecture as the Rengoku family truly would have been the ideal fit-
If only he had seen it sooner.
__
Serving his breakfast on a tray, I place it in front of him as he sits patiently at the table. I took the time to make his favorite. Most mornings, while he never explicitly said, I cook his breakfast and excuse myself.
“There you are.”-I speak softly with a hint of disappointment. The same disappointment he is far too familiar with.
“Thank you Y/N”-He spoke,
Kyojuro didn’t know what was wrong. Thoughts running wild as he catches her every movement. The sunlight that grows and pours into the window captures her skin beautifully, illuminating her purity. He looked down at the tray as he caught that familiar sense of tension, though it seems as if it isn't as prominent this morning. His heart feels warm.
“You’re welcome Kyojuro”
“Please let me know if you plan on leaving for duty today…I will pack your things.”-
Her voice was alluring, even with the slightest hint of sadness. Kyojuro watches intently as she removes her apron. Her kimono underneath is now on full display.
“You are gorgeous. You always inspire awe within me.”*-His thoughts ran.
“I-I…-He stayed quiet for a brief pause. He was about to ask you to stay. To not leave him, for once. He wanted to ask you to stay by his side until he left…but he knew he couldn't-.
“I’ll be going out for a mission today”-He tried to ignore the sadness growing on your supple face.
Before leaving, Y/N looks into his eyes with a softened gaze. Her words flowing freely-
“O-Oh…a mission? Again? I-I mean of course! You are The Flame Hashira! I will pack your things right away! When will you be leaving?”
With a sigh, he responds.
“Within the hour.”
“I see. Well, if you’ll excuse me”-
Another day without him. It seems this is all we are meant to be. Two people sharing one roof without any love.
Walking to the back of the Estate, I enter his own bedroom. Immediately, I pack all while my eyes trail to his room. His unmade bed with blankets teasing the floor.
“Such a large bed…and yet we don't share”-I thought as my hands placed firmly atop his bed. My fingers trace his sheets. The bed smells like him-I like it. I wish we could be more. I wish he would try.
Eventually, I grow weak with emotion-I find myself sitting on his bed, caressing what little bit of him I can have.
Kyojuro-
The developing feeling of warmth quickly becomes bittersweet. My mind fills with thoughts of her and grows immensely each time we meet. The past year has been difficult for us both, moreover, it has been incredibly unfair to her.
Growing up, my parents loved one another deeply. Their electrifying love inspired me to find something similar-
“Will I ever have love?” “Of course sunshine–you’ll never be alone.”
__
I haven’t even touched my food. The food she made. My thoughts became too overwhelming-
“So much for ignoring my feelings.”
Soon, I get up from my seat and slowly find my way back to my bedroom. She’s there, I know it. She’s in my bedroom, taking care of me even if we live separately.
Quietly, I round the corner nearing my room. I don’t want to startle you. Entering the cracked door, I see you running your fingers through my sheets.
“My body is stiff, why? My cheeks are hot? Why?”
I can feel myself growing, almost…jealous? Why am I feeling this way? Taking a deep breath, I speak-
“Y/N? What are you doing…?”
An audible gasp leaves her beautiful lips as she frantically finds her own words. Something about losing her train of thought? How cute-
__
Y/N-
“I-I finished packing y-your bag!”-My voice is frantic as I slowly approach him with his belongings in hand. Slowly, I bite my lip, nervously attempting to rationalize my desire to be close to him. I want to be husband and wife. But it’s clear he doesn't feel the same.
Kyojuro was silent for a moment. Although, I would take his silence over his single word any day. A single word that further sends me down my own spiral.
“...Okay.”-He speaks.
As I stand a mere few feet from him, I hold out his bag and keep my head low. The embarrassment is all too much for me to handle. A sigh releases from my mouth-
“I-I know you don't like me, and it seems that you never will. I’m sorry for pushing the boundaries this morning.”-Without looking up at him, I walk past him and out the door. My heart stings ever so faintly at the prospect of such a sad excuse of a marriage.
For a moment, I felt the release of tension. A pause that abruptly ended as the sound of movement echoed behind me. My wrist turns hot as I feel his hand wrap around me.
“Wait”
This is the first time he’s touched me. The warmth of his hand travels down. His fingers lace with mine perfectly. The calloused hands signify the hardwork and dedication he carries with him. My heart skips one, two, three, maybe four beats-
“...I…I don't dislike you-”
That came out awkwardly, and I think he noticed. His hand shakes slightly. This innocent touch was enough to make me do the same.
“I don't dislike you Y/N.”-While the facade of confidence stuck out like a sore thumb, his awkwardness was rewarded by my own delicate smile. My body straightens as I look into his eyes. Slowly, he starts to shy away.
“O-Oh I see…”-I whisper softly as I relish in the feeling of our warmth combining.
“Kyojuro? T-Thank you for telling me that.”-Hesitantly, I removed my hand from his. As I walk away again, I whisper.
“You should get dressed. You must leave soon-your mission? Remember?”
With this, I begin to calm myself from such a high. A simple touch from him is enough to send me over the edge. He’s never been so forward before. We’ve never touched each other before. I can’t help but feel…happy.
__
Kyojuro-
Shocked. I couldn't grasp the sudden quick action I had just taken. I can’t stop the way my heart is racing. It wasn’t supposed to be like this. I can’t do this to her. But what if? What if I had one more touch? What if I hugged her? To feel her frame against mine? To feel what they had? The idea of being alone never worried me. I was always confident love would find me. Now…I fear for my future. Simultaneously, I’m bringing her down with me-
Confused. I enter back into my room, sliding the door shut. My hand still has her lingering warmth attached to it. My lips curve into a smile as I begin to feel euphoric. The emotion she brings out of me makes me feel like I still have a chance to earn her affection. Those few seconds when I touched her hand, and that smile that appeared subtly on her face.
I didn’t realize this at first, but my heart yearns for more. I want more of this.
I want her. I do.
__
As the morning continues to build within the home, the once apparent loveless void is finally growing. The cracks in the foundation being nurtured with the first touch of romance. Suddenly, being apart for now doesn't seem all that bleak.
Y/N silently sits by the open deck. A book in hand as she awaits her husband. Though, she fools no one. She wears her heart on her sleeve proudly. The flush in her face never fading as a certain glow fills her to the brim.
__
Y/N-
Moments pass and soon, the faint sound of his door sliding open and shut can be heard. While the thought of him sacrificing himself weighs heavily on my heart, I can’t help but feel honored to be by his side. As Hashira, he is responsible for our safety. He dedicates his entire being to protect the weak, and this is just one of the many traits I fell for. His manhood is defined by protecting those that deserve to lead simple, full lives. Yet, there is a part of him that remains gentle.
“I’m ready, Y/N.”
As those words ring in my ear, somehow, I feel different. My lips release a soft hum as I slowly stand from my spot. Book in hand and feet moving, my fingers brush against the spine nervously.
“So that you are…”-I smile to hide my growing disappointment. The last thing I want is for him to view me as a sad burden. He has gone on many missions since we were wed. Most of them lasted longer than a week! But this? This time it’s different. Our hands touched, and we held each other for just a moment. We had shared the first blossom of a new found bond. Just once, just for a moment, I finally felt as though we were meant to be.
“How long will you be away this time?”
To my surprise, he smiles as his voice becomes bright-
“Just a day. I’ll be back tonight…Y/N.”-Just like this. Every time he leaves, we remain in this dance. Almost as if we both have more to say. But, that’s impossible-he still doesn’t see me as his wife. Biting the plush of my lip, I nod my head as my words fail me for now.
He’ll be back tonight. This is enough to bring me some comfort-
__
Kyojuro-
As we sit in a short, yet peaceful silence, our eyes meet. Words no longer deemed necessary. Taking one last glance at her, I grab my bag. My lips relax as my smile begins to fade-
Content. It has been such a long time since I felt this liberated. She makes me feel as though I am more than capable of letting go.
Reaching the edge of our back garden, my hand goes for the latch. Almost gone-until she calls out for me. As I stop completely, I turn around and meet her gaze.
“Yes, Y/N?”
Once more, the air grows thin as I feel entirely lifted. Two simple words that I’ve heard over and over again. But this time, it’s different. The subtle desperation in her voice send tidal waves of emotion to overflow within me.
“Be safe.”
I have nothing to say. Nothing seems to be enough. I can’t help but just simply stare back into her eyes. The same eyes that I have come to adore so much. Everything about her makes me feel…oh so many things. I’m supposed to leave now…but would it be so bad to stay? Would it be so bad to hold you close? Her words. Two simple words drive me crazy. They make me feel as if all that truly matters is…your love.
“I will…”
I finally said.
__
The hours for each of them had played out differently. For Y/N, her morning had quickly gone. Her morning after he departed was spent taking care of the home. Every detail must remain unchanged and perfect. Perfect for him. She never minded all the housework-
“Always a pleasure to take care of the man that provides for me”-
Despite the relationship, Y/N had always found herself taking care of their every need. Including taking care of his father and brother. Senjuro had grown quite close with Y/N. Always wanting to be near the pair, and each time he visited, Y/N could not help to wonder when it would be her turn to experience motherhood. A woman with big dreams, yet grounded to the prospect of having her own family. Senjuro truly fueled her passions.
Ruka would be proud.
For Kyojuro, time slowed. His mission sent him off to a nearby village. Sightings of a low ranking demon lurking within the shadows. Thankfully, during the report, Kyojuro was relieved to find out there hadn't been much damage to the community. As always, he is still determined to fight till the bitter end.
The wonders of her plagued his mind. But, he did not mind it. In fact, he welcomed his emotions to take over his mind. How could he let her roam this life alone for so long? To be married but not welcomed? The never ending fear of leaving someone behind due to his responsibility conflicts with his true feelings.
“I could not forgive myself if I left her alone”-
Dancing with death truly changes a person.
__
Kyojuro-
Home. That’s what I see. The sun is setting behind me as I clutch my bag tightly. My nerves begin to rise the closer I get to home, to her. I wonder what she’s doing? Is she resting? Have I crossed her mind today? Perhaps she thought of me as I did her? Everything I felt then, I crave to feel again.
As I approach our Estate, my feet begin to pick up the pace slightly. The excitement grows as I shed away the feeling of secrecy. To fall for her is my greatest pleasure. I just hope she accepts.
Just then, a shadow passes in front of a window. It’s her. She’s pacing back and forth, seemingly frantic. A small chuckle escapes my lips. She seems nervous. Reaching our gate, I haven’t once left her. My eyes feel full as I watch her every move. I can't help but stare.
“Y/N?”-Calling out to her as I enter our home, she stops in her own tracks.
“God she’s radiant”-
__
Y/N-
Just then, a familiar voice echoed, my lips curving slowly. There he is, my husband. His uniform is slightly dirty and wrinkled. His hair flowing down behind his broad shoulders. His face was soft despite the hardships of the day.
He doesn't seem injured! No blood, no scratches! Good.
Walking towards him, now standing a few feet in front of him, my eyes finally reach him.
“Welcome home Kyojuro.”-My voice is soft and gentle as I take in him completely. A certain fondness hidden within my demeanor. His eyes stare back at mine as we take in each other's peace. He took a step closer now-
“Y/N.”
Nervously, I stutter. The way his smooth voice says my name brings joy to my full heart.
“K-Kyojuro! H-How was your mission? Was it successful?”-Shyly, I begin to fidget with my hands, a nervous tick.
“Yeah, it was. And now, I’m back home safely.”-Home? Home? He’s inching closer now. His warmth reaches my core as his arm reaches forward. He looked at my hand briefly. He’s never been so close before. I’m enjoying every moment with him, however I can't help but feel myself slowly shy away. To spend an entire year with my husband, and not have any form of contact, to then suddenly be given a bit of affection? How strange?
“May I…hold your hand?”-My ears ring as I flush red. As if we could just simply ignore the sudden call to such intimacy, I attempt to change the subject. Poorly might I add.
“I-I’m glad to hear it! Oh! Before I forget! I-I made you a small dinner. You must be hungry!”-Biting my lip, I await his reply. I do not know if this is okay for us to do. This all feels so foreign.
__
Kyojuro-
Inching closer to her, allows me to feel her warmth. Her being captivating me as I look at her soft supple skin. Her small hands that work tirelessly for me. My lips curve before I can even think. To hold her hand would be a divine pleasure I would love to indulge in. A simple touch. That’s all I ask.
My shyness is killing me, but she shamelessly makes me weak and brings me to my knees. An uncharted wave of feeling that I want to explore with only her.
“Changing the subject? How cute.”-I thought.
“Thank you, I definitely am hungry…”-For just a moment, I tease her with a bit of relief. A pause allowed me to capture her once more. Her lips. The temptation becomes my downfall as I feel myself grow impatient. I want to hold her hand–so, so badly.
“Hold out your hand, Y/N.”
An audible gasp escapes as her cheeks glow a faint pink. A small simple word melts me-
“Y-Yes…”
Her delicate hand lifted in front of me as her eyes shone with anticipation. She’s eager. This is everything I had imagined about. Soft, puppy love taking hold of us, finally. My calloused hands reach for her, as we meet, I smile. A true, genuine smile. One that signifies my readiness. I want to fall for her-
“May we walk together?”-There is nothing else on my mind but you.
__
Y/N-
“A walk? B-But your dinner? It’s getting late Kyojuro!”-My blush deepens. I can feel it. His hand squeezes mine slightly. This affection he is granting me–everything I have been craving for is finally mine. He finally sees me.
He wasn't listening to you. He couldn't bring himself to hear your words. Your lips, your soft and delicate hands. He wanted nothing else than to just have your company. The bright smile creeping on his face told you enough.
“Let’s just walk, just for a while”-With his words came a sudden rush of pure euphoria. My shy skin sheds as my comfort grows. He is all I need. And I’ll be damned to lose this opportunity. He is mine. I simply nod my head as he takes the lead. Time had slowed as he took gentle care of me. Our garden being the perfect spot for a time such as this. The moon is now rising as remnants of the sun slowly disappear.
The long silence, while calm and inviting, breaks as we make time to sit side by side.
“Y/N…”-His voice trails before he lets out a short sigh. His body shifts as he turns to face me. His knee brushed against mine. Yet another foreign touch-
“...why haven't I held your hand until now?”-His question stumps me as I look up at him. Could he be genuine? Shall we take the next step and break these walls? To be honest and undone?
Making up my mind quickly, I speak in a hushed tone.
“I-I do not know Kyojuro. Your mind is a mystery I’ve wanted to explore for a while. However, you're not alone…”-I pause to catch my nerves. My words carry me as my thoughts try to catch up.
“I’ve spent many nights wondering why we are the way we are. You have brought me a great sense of relief asking me such a simple question. Thank you.”
The sound of the night beginning to fall upon us amplifies as the silence becomes apparent once more. Flickers of light begin to pop like small fireworks. Lightning bugs surrounding the nearby shrubbery. The sound of rustling brush fails to hide the feet of critters passing through. Oddly enough, I feel no tension. The air is clear and so is my mind.
His hand squeezes mine as if to let me know he’s still here. Right by my side.
“O-Oh…you’re welcome. I-I feel as though I really didn't do much. In fact, I know I haven't done much…”-His voice lingers for a bit before continuing his train of thought out loud.
“This marriage must have been difficult for you. I’m not exactly a man that you would be proud of.”
He’s right. This marriage has been difficult. I had such expectations for us. I fantasized endlessly during the weeks leading to our wedding. I always chalked up his cool demeanor as just nerves. Though, my dreams finally broke apart the evening after we had announced our nuptials. The heartbreak I felt gradually took over, until eventually, I allowed myself to get lost within my own marital duties. That was all I had. Although, the Rengoku family as a whole still welcomed me and made me feel somewhat comfortable. His father kept reassuring that his son's behavior truly was out of the ordinary. Being a veteran to the corps, Shinjuro understood all too well the pain his eldest son felt. Shinjuro suffered just as much-
“Just give him time, he’s been through hell and back. This second chance has been granted to him while feeling as if he isn't deserving of such a thing.”
“Kyojuro, you may not be the husband you expected yourself to be. But please, do not cut yourself short. I am still proud of you. You are a man worthy of praise and admiration. You have been blessed with the perseverance of a true warrior–your mother would be proud.”
Treading lightly, I speak from my soul. I’ve waited an entire year to finally have a moment to share with the man I married. His father shed well deserved light on the hardships of their livelihood. Shinjuro lost his wife to terminal illness. Losing the spark to his flame, he burnt out. Turning to alcohol as a way to temporarily forget his pain. Senjuro grew up having only faint memories of their mother. His brother, having to sacrifice his own youth to raise such a gentle boy. Regardless of such tribulations, I firmly believe Ruka Rengoku would be immensely proud of her son.
I am wholeheartedly proud of him.
Slowly, my gaze returns to him. Not knowing what to expect, I began to admire his eyes. His eyes filled with a spark I had never seen before. Wide and bright, I smile softly as my eyes soften. This is all I need. His attention directly focused on only me. As if I am the only woman in the world.
__
Time is frozen as the two share a slice of heaven on Earth. At this moment, Kyojuro had finally seen Y/N in all her glory. Reminisce of his mother found in her. The woman he had neglected had given him yet another chance to prove himself worthy of her love. They are absolutely smitten.
Kyojuro-
Her words tug playfully at the strings of my heart. She’s delicate and careful with me. She doesn't see my behavior as something to fear. She sees the man crying out for something, someone–she sees me. My waterline stings painlessly as I feel the flow of water. Looking at her, keeping her hand within mine, I can’t help but feel seen. The soft curve of her face that carries the many expressions yet to discover. Her lips curve into a smile that I never want to fade. The bridge of her nose that my eyes follow to meet her caring gaze.
You are so beautiful-
“Y/N? C-Can I ask you something?”-With a smile, all I have now is the aching thought of her lips against mine. I don't know where to go from here, all that is certain is that I crave her more. She is my undeniable cure to my own loneliness–I’ll be damned to ever let her go. Without hesitation, she speaks-
“Y-Yes! Of course”-Our faces close as the setting of such serenity illuminates the ethereal beauty that sits before me. Tightly, I grip her hand and lead her towards my chest, laying her palm flat. My heart is pounding-
���Do you-As the hardest question undoubtedly brings back the tension within me, I breathe in and out deeply before asking. My heartbeat skips as her fingers tease the buttons along the front my uniform-
“Do you…love me Y/N?”
Intimate and vulnerable. How I want to be with her always-
__
Y/N-
Do my ears deceive me? Perhaps the otherworldly glow of the moon hazes me. No? If that were true, why does he hold my hand against his chest? Why does his heart beat so quickly? Why do I feel so dizzy? So lightheaded…
“I-I am unsure if answering will benefit us in any way…considering the state our marriage is in…”-Taking a deep breath, I lower my head. Looking at my lap, my one lone hand clenched the hem of soft fabric. I feel myself choke up, full from the intensity of such a telling question.
But–
“H-However, if you must know…Kyojuro. I do. I do love you.”-My voice just above a whisper as I close my eyes. My confession out and in the open air. The moon and stars as my witness.
The way his hand slowly lets go of mine, I keep my hand firmly upon his chest just for a moment longer before swiftly reuniting my hands with one another. My body heat rises as I begin to realize how absolutely vulnerable I am now.
“Y/N…”-He whispers my name as he moves even closer. The space between us is almost non-existent. His hand travels up my arm as his finger trails the fabric of my sleeve. Soon after, he reaches the curve of my face. Caressing my cheek gently-A foreign touch welcomed.
“Y/N? May I kiss you?”-His voice melting me once more as a hint of pure love falls from his beautiful mouth. Looking up cautiously, his touch became needy.
“W-What? K-Kyojuro? The sudden shift…the affection? Why now? This isn't like you!”-
As they sit together, the touch of his hand becomes needy as he pulls her close, alluding to his desire. If you would let him, he would love nothing more than to touch your skin all night long.
“Y/N, I’m only doing this because of you. You’ve changed me. Your touch, your skin, your lips–everything about you is a never ending addiction. I’m affectionate because of you.”
My face is filled with anger, confusion, and love. All hitting me at once. My slight anger stemmed from the surprising shift of romance. To have me wait for what felt like an eternity, is truly cruel. My confusion gives me up with the furrow of my brow. Why now? We’ve never kissed, and yet…
“I’ve been holding myself back from you. I was such a fool to treat you so coldly from the very beginning. You deserve a man. If you would allow it…Y/N, I want to be that man.”
And all at once, my doubts and questions fade away from my mind. In an instant, my dreams of being his piece back together. The water that had built along my waterline trickled down in short streams. One tear, then two, now three-
All he could do is just look at you. Every inch of you is becoming more and more addicting. Why hadn't he noticed your beauty before? You made him feel so intense, and yet it took him almost too long to finally acknowledge this love. Dipping his face closer to yours, he wipes your tears as he stays mere inches from your lips.
Kyojuro daring to not move an inch closer until he knows. His eyes peered into yours silently begging for this. And as the angel you have become in his eyes, you had blessed him-
Your lips meet each other as you both close your eyes. The warm, foreign feeling of velvet melting together perfectly brings you both to each other's complete devotion. He kept quiet as he wanted to hear more of that gentle whimper. For once, he allows his heart to take over-
Our lips move in sync as now both of his large hands caress my face. Drawing me closer to him, leaving no room for us to leave. As if I ever would.
The dance we share is more intimate than anything we had ever shared before. Our first kiss together is electric. His soft tongue running against my bottom lip as our continued passion exposes our hidden desires. The sound of almost lewd noises fall from my mouth and pour into his. The crisp night breeze being the only thing that cools me down–chills raising the hairs along my arms. In an instant, he pulls away, whispering against my lips.
“Y/N…”-His hands fall from my face as they drop to hold my frame. His embrace reassuring me.
As I whisper his name back almost breathlessly, I rest my head gently on his shoulder. My face is glowing with love.
“I love you too…”
__
As if a part of Y/N had already known this, she let out a deep breath of relief. Nuzzling close to him, her face buried into his warmth. You had done something to him truly. Your warmth against his body felt perfect. He couldn't get enough of you, he never wanted to stop having more of you. This was all his soul needed. The beat of his heart now belongs to you.
Their long awaited love now slowly unraveling before their eyes. Neither wanting to ever let go of the pure joy they’ve been blessed with. Kyojuro had finally found the one to set his heart truly ablaze.
-ˋˏ✄┈┈┈┈
authors end note:not gonna lie, i had such a hard time ending this. i knew i wanted to leave it quite open, (just in case i decide to write a smutty pt. 2 teehee), but whew my head hurts. re-reading, me thinks this is just fluff wanting to be something it's not (angst). oh well, as long as you enjoy it, i’m happi! did anyone catch the callback i did to the infamous kyojuro comic done by @/kammi.lu!? i adore their art omgggg! the rengoku family deserves such happiness. it’s what ruka would of wanted. oh, and i tried switching pov’s. not really sure if i did good. i’m telling you, it’s been so long since i’ve written ficccss! this is harder than i remember! props to the authors that pump out stuff daily! y'all work harder than the devil. okie! goodbye for now! (kyojuro brainrot is real)
word count:5763
many thank! -babbi₊˚⊹♡
-08/05/23 (my birfday)
#anime and manga#kimetsu no yaiba#demon slayer#rengoku kyojuro#rengoku senjuro#rengoku shinjuro#kyojuro rengoku x reader#kny x reader#reader insert#female reader#babbiweebwrites
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20 questions for fic writers
tagged by the wonderfully kind and lovely @coraclavia. If you haven't checked out her work, go do it right now!!
1. How many works do you have on Ao3? 19
2. What’s your total Ao3 word count? 354,235
3. What fandoms do you write for? The Rookie!
4. What are your top five fics by kudos?
Beneath Your Beautiful... queue Isn't it ironic by Alanis Morissette 😬
Want You to Stay
However Do You Want Me
One Time Thing
Lucy's Little Secret
5. Do you respond to comments?
I absolutely try to, but sometimes I get behind. Tbh I usually want to respond the minute I see one come in, but don't want to scare anyone lmao. But I read every single one, often multiple times. And you might just get a response from me two years later 😂
6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?
Oh man... I think this has to be We Built Sandcastles, because I have yet to give it an ending and it hurts me too. I'm so sorry. 😭
7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?
I'm gonna go with However Do You Want Me... what's happier than banging on an airplane to save the world?
8. Do you get hate on fics?
Not really... thankfully, 99.9% of the interaction I've had on my fics has been positive and that's a testament to how wonderfully supportive this fandom is of its creators 😭
9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?
Yup... the horny kind? Lol... queue Lovin on Me by Jack Harlow. I am pretty vanilla, and I do usually focus a lot on the emotional aspects over the physical. I also generally prefer writing the foreplay over the actual tactics of banging, but I try.
10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?
Lol... well... one time when I was 13 I may have written an AU where Justin Timberlake and Nick Carter were normal boys attending the same high school 😂...
11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?
Thankfully, I don't think so!
12. Have you ever had a fic translated?
I don't think so, but any time someone does comment on one of my fics in another language, I am just honored and blown away that they found it entertaining enough to work through the language barrier.
13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?
Yes! Want You to Stay with the amazing @poppypickle. I will always be so thankful that the Chenford fandom brought us together, and so grateful for that creative experience. Truly one of the coolest things I've ever done. ❤️
14. What’s your all time favorite ship?
I think Chenford still holds this crown.
15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?
We Built Sandcastles, but I actually haven't written anything I've truly given up on. I still think about this universe and write down bits and pieces here and there. I'm also still working on Beneath Your Beautiful!
16. What are your writing strengths?
Weird reality TV AUs? Sexual tension? Feelings?
17. What are your writing weaknesses?
Probably too much exposition / time in the character's heads spelling out their motivations vs. letting readers come to their own conclusions.
I'm not always consciously aware of it in my own writing, but sometimes I suspect I'm a little sappier than what I'd normally I prefer to read.
Also I'm slow and sometimes leave my readers hanging for extremely long periods of time (I'm so sorry).
18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?
Depends on the context, but, for me, I'd have a hard time without a native speaker to consult with. No strong feelings against it though.
19. First fandom you wrote for?
BSB + NSYNC
20. Favorite fic you’ve written?
I'm going to go with one I haven't mentioned yet, which is Cruel Summer because that fic was utterly batshit, came out of literally nowhere, and was so much fun to write!
--
Thanks for the tag, Cora!
I am tagging @poppypickle @queseraone @goodgirlssayiloveyoutoo @rememberthismomentx @thisnightissparkling089 @makeitastrength and @summerongrand (apologies if y'all have already done this and I missed it)!
#chenford fanfic#my asks#see lana ramble#chenford fanfiction#chenford fic#writers ask game#fanfic#fanfiction
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“Hello, to all of those listening to this. My name is unimportant, and what is lies in what it is that I do. One week ago today, the world was met with a flurry…of cards.“
“Every man, woman, non-binary individual, and seemingly sentient soul upon this earth was given what we’ve elected to refer to as ‘Tarrow Cards’, with a title on the front and a single word on its back.”
“Regardless of age, your card appears to have given you a new fascinating ability, most of which the world has never seen before. The world is changing quickly, it seems. No matter your belief on the state of the world before that day, it is now impossible to deny the supernatural state of this landscape we all live within.”
“Over the past ten years, you’ve likely read about the experimental city being built over international waters in the Atlantic Ocean. In this past week, due to the abilities of certain individuals involved, we’re able to now announce the opening of said city, in one month’s time.“
“We will require no passports, and no qualifications for citizenship. We have food, shelter, optional employment, and anything else you may wish to find.”
“I’ve been studying these cards, and the changes humanity has gone through very carefully. And I can state now, without a shadow of a doubt…this is a change for the better.”
An announcement that all throughout the world heard. Through the radio, through the papers. You heard or read it. The world is changing. It’s for the better, then…?
Followed by an announcement that all throughout the world heard, but none remembered.
The voice echoed throughout the world, seemingly without a source, heard both everywhere and nowhere. Somewhere within all that nowhere, this voice reached a room, lit by a single computer monitor. And in that room, something listened.
“WOW! THAT’S A LOTTA WORDS TO SAY, ‘DO NOT TRUST ME, I PROBABLY SMELL!’”
“C'MON, ‘MY NAME IS UNIMPORTANT,’ ‘NO QUALIFICATIONS FOR CITIZENSHIP,’ ‘FREE FOOD,’ LIKE HELLO? RED FLAG? THAT’S SOME MONDO SUSPICIOUS SHIT.”
“HONESTLY IF THOSE CHUDS BELIEVE THAT, THEY SHOULD GO TOUCH GRASS. I DID IT ONCE. HATED IT. BUT IT WAS GOOD FOR ME! NOW I HAVE SPECIAL EYES THAT LET ME SEE THROUGH BULLSHIT LIKE THIS.”
“… EH, I COULD USE SOME ENTERTAINMENT! MIGHT AS WELL GRAB A FRONT ROW SEAT FOR THIS SHITSHOW.”
“NOW, I JUST NEED TO FIGURE OUT HOW TO GET ANYWHERE.”
“THIS MIGHT TAKE AWHILE…”
—
One Week: Brand New Life is a discord based 20+ Danganronpa OC roleplay, featuring discord submission trials and an active, plot-relevant deadzone, allowing dead characters to continue to freely interact with the living if they wish. Our cast will be exploring their recently developed powers in an ever expanding city over international waters that you yourself will help define and build. Twenty characters from across the world will get to experience a unique, extended prologue that will cover one year of in-game time, before the actual MKG begins. We aim to bring you a potentially lighter, relaxed environment, both in and out of character; while still being following the typical killing game formula.
The game will feature a flexible 4 to 5 week schedule over 5 chapters, as well as a prologue and endgame, with trials that last several days to accommodate varying timezones and schedules. Our trial system will be submission-based over discord, allowing players to submit their trial posts directly to the server’s trial channel, while still managing a flexible queue. The game will allow for supernatural, alien, robotic, and fantastical characters, as well as normal humans - although no matter your character’s initial status, everyone will be experiencing a new power set, to spread the love! The game will not feature a mistrial system, but will pledge itself into working dutifully with its murder teams to create cases that are both satisfyingly difficult, as well as ultimately solvable, without pushing cast nor killer unnecessarily far.
APPS OPEN / APPS CLOSE 3/10!
About | Hopeful | Hopefuls Discord | Mods | FAQ | Rules | Application
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The Eras | Bucky Barnes x Reader
Hi! This is a short, silly little thing about the Ticketmaster fiasco the other day. If you were in that queue all day, I feel your pain. Seven hours of queuing for Houston. I know this fic is niche but I simply do not care <3 also, lemme know if you got tickets! And what you plan to wear to the show!
What’s your favorite track from Midnights?
Warnings: Ticketmaster
“Any luck?” Bucky asked on the other end of the phone.
“Nope… still two thousand plus people ahead of me.” You poked at your sad lunch salad with your plastic fork, eyes glued to your laptop. “At least my boss is trying to get tickets too, that way I won’t get in trouble for getting nothing done today.”
Bucky let out a loud laugh, “I love that for you. And your boss. Is there-”
“It’s PAUSED?” you nearly threw your lunch across the room. “The queue is PAUSED!”
Bucky wasn’t accustomed to this new way of doing things. If he wanted to go to a show back in his day, he simply bought tickets at the venue. But this was a whole new beast. You had a plan, a strategy. The group text with Wanda and Nat fired constantly in the days leading up to the presale, turning your phone into a war room.
“What? Why is it paused?”
“It says it ‘should be back up and running shortly’,” you sighed, “and that to keep my place in line, I can’t refresh or close my browser.” The disappointed groan that pushed its way out of your throat broke Bucky’s heart. He heard you clicking and typing on the other end of the line, no doubt conferring with the group text.
“This kind of seems like a disaster…” He didn’t want to make things any worse than they already were, but he hated when you were upset. You’d looked forward to this- gotten your presale code, received boosts. And yet, you sat in a paused queue with no end in sight.
“Oh, it is. Ticketmaster is the worst.” You gave a harsh stab with your plastic fork and speared a piece of romaine, punctuating your sentence. “It’s owned by this company Live Nation- it’s basically a monopoly.”
“But you’re guaranteed tickets, right?” he asked, sounding almost on edge. “Cause you got the code thingy? That’s how this works, right? The code ensures that you get the tickets?”
“Nope. That’s just to get into the presale, but they don’t require a code to get in the queue, so… I’m not sure there’s even a point to those codes.”
Bucky rolled his eyes at the inefficient and deeply flawed system. “Oh. That’s… really annoying. And confusing. They should explain the rules better.”
You gave him a laugh, “yeah, well, all they care about is making money.”
Bucky could practically see you- sitting at your desk, shoulders slumped, lunch half eaten, computer stuck in a paused queue. “I’m sorry, doll.”
You made a few more stabs at your wilted lettuce before giving it up all together. “And apparently ticket prices are nuts. Like, floor seats are selling for over a thousand dollars. My friend got seats in section C for the Dallas show, and he paid a thousand and twenty-eight dollars for each of them.”
“Oh, fuck.”
“Yeah…” you let out a sigh. “I’m so disappointed. I mean, I saw on Twitter that even nosebleeds are in the two-fifty range now. I know there’s way worse things in the world, but I was really looking forward to this- I’ve been saving for such a long time. I thought I was gonna get to see her in person, you know?” Bucky could hear the frown in your voice. “But between the queue and the prices, I just don’t think it’s gonna happen.”
“You never know, doll,” Bucky did his best to lighten the mood. “Don’t give up. Just keep the queue open on your computer and try to focus on other things, okay?”
You agreed to his terms and the two of you hung up, leaving you alone with your Ticketmaster nightmare.
That evening, Bucky waited by the door for you to come home. He stood so close, in fact, that you almost hit him with it. “Hey, baby! How was your day?” He was nearly vibrating with a strange energy you’d never seen from him before.
“It was terrible…” you sighed. “I was in the queue for seven hours. And when I finally got to the presale, tickets were unfathomably expensive. Even if I could afford them, every seat I picked disappeared. I got constant error notices and never even got one single ticket into my cart. It sucked.”
Bucky gave you a tight squeeze, so tight you could hardly breathe. “That’s terrible, doll. I’m so sorry you didn’t get tickets…” He released you suddenly, allowing your chest to expand. “But I’m actually glad you didn’t buy any.”
His words came as a surprise. He was always supportive, no matter how silly your venture. He knew how badly you wanted to go to the concert- why he celebrated your defeat was unknown.
“Oh. That’s…. ouch, Buck. I know I’m kind of annoying about how much I love her music, but-”
“No, no- I’m happy you didn’t get any,” he said, “because I got them for you.”
His words didn’t register. You stared at him, mouth agape, as the gears in your mind spun into overdrive. “I don’t… what? How?”
“He might be an ass, but Tony’s good for some stuff,” Bucky laughed. “I asked him to help me- and he said no. We both know he hates my guts. But when I said it was for you, he immediately agreed.”
“You asked Tony?” Bucky didn’t speak to Tony. Ever. Not since Siberia. But he’d broken his sworn vow against Tony. Just for you.
Bucky retrieved his laptop from the kitchen table, “I signed up last week just in case you didn’t get verified. But you did… and then I got a text late last night with a presale code. So, I thought I’d hop on the presale too just in case you couldn’t get tickets.” He turned the computer your way and showed you the screen, “according to this, my account is still stuck in the queue…”
You eyed the screen and saw the long line you stared at all day, “but if you’re still in the queue, how did you-”
Bucky scoffed, “Ticketmaster is no match for Stark tech, sweetheart. Tony found a way around the queue, grabbed three floor seats, and got outta there. Used some of that Iron Man money for good.” He shut the computer and tucked it under his arm, “and now, there are three floor seats linked to your account. You got the VIP package, preferred parking- all the bells and whistles.”
“Shut. Up.”
“Oh, and Stark told me to tell you…” he opened his computer once again and found an email from Tony. “And I quote: You’re too good for this idiot, but at least he’s resourceful. Have a great time at the show, kid.”
You launched yourself into Bucky’s arms, almost sending his laptop clattering to the floor. “Thank you, thank you, thank you! Oh my god, Buck. You’re amazing- you’re the best!”
Bucky, always humble, did his best to duck your praises. “Well, Tony’s the one who got ‘em. I just called him and-”
“But it was your idea! And you entered for the presale just in case- you sat in the queue all day!”
Bucky’s cheeks turned a rosy shade of pink. “I just wanted you to see your girl. I know Taylor’s you’re favorite.”
“No, you’re my favorite,” you said, dropping a deep kiss to his lips. “Oh- I have to call Wanda! And Nat! And- wait, you didn’t ask Tony to get a ticket for you?”
Bucky shook his head, “Doll, this is your thing with your friends. I don’t want you to feel like you have to keep an eye on me all night; I want you to give all your attention to Taylor-” He laughed his own words, “as though I have to tell you to give her your attention.”
He dotted kisses all over your face and chuckled as you thanked him time and time again. “You’re more than welcome. All I ever want is for you to be happy, sweetheart. Go call your friends and let ‘em know.”
You rifled through your bag and found your phone, an unstoppable smile plastered across your face all the while. But before you could run off to tell Nat and Wanda the good news, you took Bucky’s face in your hands.
“Just so you know, Buck, this is the most thoughtful thing anyone’s ever done for me. I mean, getting the tickets is amazing. But signing up for the code just in case, sitting in the queue for me- you’re so sweet.” He blushed once again, still not used to your praise. “And obviously, it helps that you were able to get me floor seats, but I’d be just as appreciative if I came home to no tickets. Cause floor seats or no floor seats, you’re all I want.”
“Well I guess you’re lucky then,” he laughed, “cause you got me and floor seats.”
“Truly, what else could a girl want?” you asked.
“Backstage passes?”
“Yeah, you know I was incredibly grateful and touched that you did this for me-” you joked. “But no backstage passes? Lame.”
Bucky rolled his eyes at you and swatted you on the ass, banishing you to go call your friends.
He’d done a lot of bad in his life. Even if it wasn’t his fault, he’d hurt people. But knowing that he’d done something so meaningful for you eased his mind.
All he wanted for the rest of his days was to see you smile like that. He didn’t care if he had to team up with Tony every week and get you exorbitantly priced concert tickets- he’d do it. He’d do anything for you.
————————————-
Tag list: @beefybuckrrito @shadytalementality @everything-burns-down @rainbow-unicorn-pony @mandersshow @breakablebarnes @psychoticmason @glxwingrxse @deepsketchsupernaturalcowboy @mrsdrysdale18 @lonewolf471 @dreamerglassesgirl l @the-gods-gloted-but-they-burned @purpleshallot @duchessoftheheart @seitmai @itvy5601 @hisxsoulmate @dailyreverie @navs-bhat @eviesaurusrex @themorningsunshine @masteroflightningz @evangeliamerryll @buckys-metal-arm @broadwaybabe18 @the-kestrels-feather @avocadotoastwithegg @goldylions @lokisasgardianvampirequeen @vrittivsanghavi @idkitsem @avengetheunnatural @rassvetsky
#james buchanan bucky barnes#bucky fluff#bucky fic#bucky barnes x female reader#bucky barnes x y/n#bucky barnes fanfiction#bucky barnes x you#Bucky#bucky barnes#james bucky barnes#bucky barnes fanfic#Bucky Barnes fic#bucky barnes fluff#bucky barnes one shot#bucky barnes oneshot#bucky barnes reader insert#bucky barnes x reader#bucky barnes x reader fluff#bucky barnes x yn#bucky fanfic#bucky fanfiction#bucky x female reader#Bucky x reader#bucky x reader fluff#bucky x y/n#bucky x you#the eras tour#taylor swift
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The Language of Girls
Anon requested: “.. the reader and alicent are in love but alicent starts find another girl “interesting” and the reader sees this and confronts her but it doesn’t go well and the reader leaves..”
A/N: Here it is. I bumped this up the queue because I got inspiration to write it. I apologize to others with older requests I really write as much as I can for all requests every day but sometimes the words flow for one idea a little easier. Anon, I hope this is what you had in mind and that if it’s not, you still enjoy it!
A/N pt. 2: It’s a modern au set at a private all girls boarding school. This is teenage Alicent x f!reader. Canon divergent in that Laenor and Laena are not twins. Laenor is older.
Your mother had sent you to private school in hopes your grades would better and your chances of getting into a good college would be higher.
Your father had demanded it be an all girls boarding school in hopes that you would make friends and finally come out of your shell.
All through elementary and junior high you were the outcast weirdo who no one bothered to get to know.
But now you had a chance to start anew. You hoped things would be different.
-
You walked to your bedroom on your own. Your parents had not bothered to go with you. Your father’s board meeting was too important and your mother simply could not miss her latest botox appointment.
Anxiety built inside you at the thought of who your roommate would be. You had never shared a room with anyone before.
What if we don’t get along? What if she’s a cool, popular, pretty girl and thinks I’m a weirdo? What if she hates me and makes my life hell? Questions swirled in your mind, a tornado starting to form.
You took a deep breath and turned the knob. You opened the door and stepped inside.
“Hello?”
A girl with silver locs came out of the bathroom your room shared with the room next door.
She smiled brightly at the sight of you.
“Hi, you must (y/n). I’m Laena,” she said and stuck her hand out towards you.
You shook her hand. “It’s nice to meet you.”
All your worst fears were confirmed. Laena was indeed beautiful, and no doubt she was cool. She would surely be the most popular girl at school.
You were toast.
-
To your great surprise, Laena was nothing like you had feared.
Yes she was cool, and was indeed very popular, but she was also the kindest person you had ever met.
She had helped you unpack your things and get you settled. Then she gave you a tour of the campus and introduced you to all her friends. She even invited you to have lunch with them all.
The other girls were nice as well, though they had all looked you up and down with a less than impressed look on their faces.
But it didn’t matter. Laena shone like the sun and made sure all her warmth radiated onto you.
At lunch, she sat next to you and naturally her friends followed.
They all chatted about various teachers and students that you had no face to connect to. So you ate your food quietly while they all spoke.
“Where is Alicent,” Laena asked one of the other girls.
“She was on a call with her father when we last saw her. I’m guessing it did not go well,” a girl that had been introduced to you as Aliandra declared as she gave herself a once over in a compact mirror.
Laena frowned. “That explains it.”
Then she turned to you.
“Alicent is one of my closest friends. You’ll love her, she’s darling....but she has a complicated relationship with her father,” Laena explained.
You nodded slowly. “I can relate to that. My relationship with my parents is complicated too.”
Oh no, had you shared too much too soon? You cursed yourself silently.
Once again, Laena surprised you.
She placed a gentle hand on your shoulder.
“Thank you for sharing that with me (y/n). I know it’s not an easy thing to do.”
Then she turned back to the other girls and told them all about her elder brother Laenor’s exploits with college boys in the city.
You listened, and laughed when appropriate.
For the first time in a long time you felt hopeful. Maybe things really would be different at this school.
-
Laena invited you to a party one of the girl’s on a different floor was having. She was an upperclassman who had a whole suite to herself. Laena said she had even invited the boys from the nearby all boys private school.
You pretended to be excited.
Laena had been nothing but kind, and she had shared that her brother was gay and didn’t seem to have any issue with it...but you were too scared to tell her that you were into girls.
It seemed too soon.
So you pretended to be excited about the private school boys.
Laena finished getting ready before you. She asked if you wanted her to wait but you had no idea what you were going to wear and didn’t want her to wait long. So you told her you would meet her there.
To her credit, Laena asked if you were sure.
You said you were. So she waved and said she would see you there.
-
You spent way too long thinking about an outfit to wear. Everything you put on seemed to look wrong. Nothing you had felt cute enough for a party.
In truth, you had never been to party so you didn’t even know what you were supposed to look like.
So you settled on something you felt comfortable in that wasn’t shabby.
You regretted not asking Laena to wait for you when you realized you had gotten lost trying to find the right suite.
Frustrated, you walked into one of the communal bathrooms on the second floor of the dormitories.
You froze in the doorway.
Cries emanated from one of the stalls.
You weren’t sure if you should say something or if it was maybe kinder to leave and let whoever it was cry in peace.
Unfortunately for you the girl emerged from the stall, tears still staining her cheeks, and immediately noticed you.
Her face scrunched up in disgust. “Who are you?”
“I’m....new,” you replied, you felt your face warm under her gaze.
“Well don’t linger in the doorway like an idiot. Come inside,” she demanded.
You stepped inside but didn’t go any closer. She furrowed her brow.
“What?”
“Nothing, it’s just…are you alright,” you asked even though you knew exactly what type of girl you had just met was and you would surely regret asking.
“I’m fine.” She crossed the distance between you and backed you up against the door. “I don’t know what you think you heard but it was nothing worth sharing. Do you understand?”
You nodded.
The girl exhaled. “Good,” she said then returned to the sinks. She touched up her appearance in the mirror.
You didn’t linger. Having had enough of the mean girl who had obviously been crying in the bathroom stall, you turned around and left the bathroom.
Laena walked down the hall towards you. She lit up when she saw you.
“(y/n)! There you are! I’ve been looking everywhere for you,” she said as she got closer.
You blushed. “I’m sorry. I got a bit lost.”
Laena waved her hand. “Forget about it. Let’s get to the party. The boys from the Citdel are even cuter than we thought they’d be.”
She wrapped her arm around yours and started to lead you down the hall when the door of the bathroom swung open.
Both you and Laena turned around.
Laena let go of your arm when the mean girl walked out.
“Alicent, we’ve been looking for you all day.”
She ran to the girl and gave her a hug.
To your suprise, the girl hugged Laena back.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean for anyone to worry.”
When they pulled away from one another Laena kept her arms on the girl’s shoulders.
“How could we not worry? Are you feeling up to the party tonight? If not we can all go back to my room, watch a couple movies and pig out on my special snack stash?”
The girl shook her head. “No, I know everyone was looking forward to meeting boys from the Citadel tonight. I don’t want to ruin anyones fun.”
Laena gave the girl’s shoulders a squeeze. “You could never ruin anything.”
The girl brought down Laena’s hands from her shoulders.
“It’s okay Laena, really. I’m up for the party.”
Laena sighed. “If you’re sure?”
The girl nodded. “Of course.”
With that Laena laced her fingers with the girl’s and turned towards (y/n). Laena locked eyes with (y/n) and stopped. She playfully hit herself in the head with the palm of her hand.
“Where are my manners?”
She turned to the girl next to her.
“Alicent this is (y/n). She’s my new roommate.”
Then Laena turned to you.
“(y/n) this is Alicent, my best friend.”
You and Alicent locked eyes.
Alicent blushed and looked away. At least she had the good sense to feel embarrassed by what she had said to you.
You smiled at her. “It’s nice to meet you Alicent.”
She nodded. “Sure.”
Then she let go of Laena’s hand and marched down the hall towards the party.
Laena turned to you.
“Did something happen?”
You shrugged. “I don’t know.”
Laena frowned, the first time you had seen her make such an expression.
“Don’t worry. Alicent is actually very sweet.”
“I’m sure she is,” you replied.
Laena walked you to the suite where the party was already in full swing. You swallowed hard. Laena noticed.
“Is this your first party?”
You nodded.
Laena perked up and looped her arm around yours.
“Do not worry (y/n). I will make sure your first party is a wonderful memory.”
“That’s sweet of you Laena.” You smiled and felt your anxiety lessen. Laena would take care of you.
“First step, shots!” She shouted and dragged you to the drinks table.
Years of peer pressure school assemblies did not prepare you for the shots of cheap liquor and the cups of mysterious “punch” you drank that night.
But it didn’t matter because, true to her word, Laena had not left your side and made sure you laughed all night.
Though her company did little to distract you from the way Alicent’s gaze lingered on you throughout the night. Her eyes on you made you nervous but also kind of...excited.
-
The morning after your first party was a lot less fun. Your brain pounded inside your skull, making every moment your eyes were open a painful experience.
Laena, ever the steadfast friend, brought painkillers and water over to your bedside.
“You had quite the night,” she teased.
You did your best to smile. “Is every night like that?”
Laena let out a small laugh. “I wish. Sadly, we are a good group of girls most of the time.”
She promised to stay with you until you felt better but she had forgotten her tennis team met early in the morning for practice.
“Don’t worry (y/n). I won’t leave you alone. Your first hangover can be really rough and I don’t want you to go through it by yourself.”
You sat up in bed. “It’s alright Laena. I’ll be okay. Thankfully, classes don’t start for me until tomorrow.”
Laena shook her head. “I won’t hear of it. Let me see who I can wrangle.”
Then she raced out of the room and down the hall.
Minutes later she returned with the last person you wanted to share a morning with.
Alicent.
She and Laena walked into the room. Laena turned to you with a smile.
“Alicent has kindly agreed to nurse you to health.”
She didn’t even look at you. Instead, she looked at Laena with a tight smile. You got the feeling she was doing this more for Laena’s sake than yours.
“That’s not necessary Laena it’s okay really,” you implored.
“I told you I’ll have none of that. This will be a great time to get to know one another,” Laena proclaimed as she grabbed her sports bag.
She turned to Alicent.
“Be sure she stays hydrated. I think we have gatorade in the mini but if not make sure to pop out and grab some, yeah?”
Alicent nodded.
“Of course Laena.”
Then Laena turned back to you. She kissed your cheek before dashing out the door.
“Feel better roomie!”
“Bye Laena,” you called out.
The door closed behind her with a thud and an uncomfortable silence descended on the once bright room.
You cleared your throat and looked towards Alicent.
“You don’t have to stay. I can tell her you did but you can go.”
Alicent finally met your gaze. Her rich brown eyes bore into your own.
“Don’t be stupid. Laena would know if you were lying.”
The anxiety from being around Alicent almost made you forget the pounding in your skull. You brought your hand up to your forehead and closed your eyes.
“Are you alright?” She asked, her voice surprisingly soft.
You nodded. “Yeah I just have this massive headache.”
The ache subsided and you were able to open your eyes.
Alicent stood by your side, looking down at you with concern. “Did you already take some painkillers?”
“Laena gave me some,” you said, uneasy at her drastic change towards you.
She nodded. “Good. Have you eaten?”
You shook your head. “I woke up a few minutes ago.”
“Do you have any food allergies?”
You shook your head again. “Not that I know of.”
Alicent walked out of your dorm room without another word.
You were unsure what prompted the change of heart but you wouldn’t question it. The ache returned and you covered your head with your duvet, seeking relief from the bright light of the sun streaming through your blinds.
-
“Did you really fall asleep again,” came an annoyed voice from above your sheets.
You popped your head out to see Alicent frowning by the doorway.
“You came back?”
Alicent closed the door behind her. She rolled her eyes.
“You’re so dramatic. I said I was going to get you some food.”
You furrowed your brows. “No you didn’t. You just asked if I had eaten and if I had food allergies.”
“And what do those questions imply?” She asked as she set down the bag she was carrying on the desk beside your bed.
“Well...I didn’t- I mean you’re,” you stuttered.
Alicent unpacked the bag. She had brought various cut up fruit in a bowl, oatmeal, and a breakfast sandwich along with a cup of something hot as the steam rose from the small opening on the lid.
“Is all that for me?”
She nodded. “Obviously.” Then she grabbed the cup and handed it to you. “This is ginger tea. It helps a lot with a hangover.”
You sat up in bed and took the cup from her. “Thank you.”
“Whatever. I promised Laena so,” she said and trailed off, not meeting your gaze.
Your stomach grumbled. You let out a small laugh. “Guess you were right to bring some food.”
To your surprise, Alicent smiled.
It was gone as soon as it came but Alicent’s smile was so lovely you decided to get her to smile again just to see it.
“Make sure to eat up, it’ll make you feel better,” she said and moved all the food closer to your reach.
“Thank you Alicent. You didn’t have to do this but you did.”
Alicent shrugged. “It’s nothing,” she insisted.
You grabbed the breakfast sandwich and took a bite. Instantly you felt better. You took another bite and let out a small moan.
When you realized what sound you had made your eyes shot open and you turned to Alicent, hoping she hadn’t noticed.
She had.
Alicent laughed, actually laughed, and you decided her laugh was even more lovely than her smile.
It wasn’t a cruel laugh but more so an empathetic one.
You blushed. “Sorry about that,” you said after you swallowed your food.
“It’s okay. Laena has worse hangover stories about me.” She handed you a napkin.
“Thank you,” you said and took it.
“Like I said, it’s nothing. I’ll be here all morning if you need anything.”
Alicent climbed onto Laena’s bed that was opposite yours and scooted all the way back until she rest against the wall. She took out her phone from her cardigan pocket and started to scroll.
It was silent but no longer uncomfortably so. You ate your food and drank your tea in peace while Alicent tapped away on her phone. Occasionally she would look up and check in on you. Sometimes she even got up and checked that you didn’t feel too hot or too cold.
Every time the back of her hand touched your forehead your whole body flooded with an overwhelming heat. You feared she would notice but she never did.
Instead she’d go back to Laena’s bed and continue to scroll on her phone.
When you finished all the food she had brought up, at her insistence that you eat a little bit of everything, you let your head rest against your headboard and closed your eyes. The throbbing in your head had stopped some time ago and no nausea had overtaken you. You felt like you were in the clear....
Until suddenly you ran to your bathroom and knelt down on the floor in front of the toilet.
Alicent raced to your side and made sure your hair was out of your face. “Yikes,” she whispered.
Once you were done puking you rinsed your mouth and cleaned up your face. Alicent stood by the door of the bathroom and watched you.
“Maybe I brought too much food.”
You smiled. “Maybe.”
Alicent laughed and this time you joined her. You met her gaze and felt butterflies fill your chest.
Oh no, you thought.
-
Weeks past and your friendship with Alicent grew.
You got to see the side of Alicent that Laena had spoken about, and the more time you spent by Alicent’s side the more time with her you craved.
She had consumed you.
But you would not jeopardize the friendships you had made. Finally, you had a group of girls you could call friends. Well, Laena and Alicent were your friends. Aliandra and the rest of them were more acquaintances as you rarely ever saw them unless you were with Alicent or Laena but still, you had people who knew your name.
Your parents were glad to hear that you had adjusted to life there and that you had found friends. Your mom even pointed out the way you glowed whenever you spoke to them about Alicent. You made sure to tell them Alicent was simply your friend.
And you didn’t mind it. If her friend was all you could be that was good enough for you.
Having Alicent as a friend was better than not having Alicent at all.
She had a way of making you feel like the only person in the room, even when you were surrounded by the other girls. She would make sure to always pay attention whenever you spoke and would hush the rest of the group if they weren’t listening.
Alicent made you feel more than welcomed, she made you feel special.
You quickly learned that Alicent did so as a way to make up for the way she was treated at home.
It didn’t take long before her father contacted her again and Alicent’s mood shifted back to that mean girl you had first met.
But you learned that patience and silent support was what Alicent needed after speaking with her father. Alicent was thankful that she had you, and that you understood exactly what she needed.
Soon a routine had formed for you and Alicent. Every day after dinner the two of you would sneak onto the roof of the dormitories and look at the stars.
Alicent had a secret fascination with astronomy. She even had her own telescope. She loved pointing out the various constellations to you, and you loved the way she lit up whenever she spoke about something she was passionate about.
One time, Alicent caught you staring.
“Why are you looking at me like that,” she asked you with small smirk on her face.
“I uhm- I just...well I-,” you sputtered, unable to think of a lie quick enough.
Alicent laughed and shook her head. “You’re so weird (y/n).”
You smiled. “I know.”
She returned your smile and reached out for your hand. You let her, and she laced her fingers with yours.
“I like that,” she confessed.
You squeezed her hand. “Good.”
Alicent let out another laugh before she returned her attention to the stars.
-
Months into the fall semester, you received devastating news.
Laena’s parents planned to move her to another school. They were moving to another country for business and didn’t like the idea of Laena being alone.
So the girls all spent Laena’s final night together.
Alicent was a mess of tears. You held her the entire time, your arm wrapped around her waist. Alicent rest her head on your shoulder.
“You can’t leave Laena. You’re my oldest friend,” Alicent pleaded.
Laena had shed her fair share of tears since she had received word from her parents. She needed to finish packing.
“I know Ali. I’m sorry. If I could stay you know I would.”
Alicent nodded. “I know. I’ll just miss you so much.”
Laena walked to where the two of your sat, on the edge of your bed, and held both your hands.
“I’ll still keep in contact. Besides, you have each other now.”
Alicent lifted her head from your shoulder and met your gaze. She smiled softly.
“That’s true,” she whispered.
You returned Alicent’s smile and nodded. Sometimes you didn’t trust yourself to speak when she was so close.
Laena looked between the two of you then smiled knowingly. She returned to her things and hours later she finished packing.
Then it was time for fun.
The three of you ate all the sweets and snacks Laena had hid from the prefects on your floor. Then you had a quick bit of karaoke as it was Laena’s favorite group activity.
Finally you all curled up on Laena’s bed, it was slightly wider than yours, and promised to never stop being friends.
Before Alicent left back to her room Laena made you both promise to welcome her cousin Rhaenyra who was scheduled to start in the spring semester.
You promised.
Any family member of Laena’s had to be as sweet. She had welcomed you with open arms and you would surely do the same. Alicent was more relucant to promise but she did.
The next morning you helped Laena bring her things down to where her parents were waiting for her.
Her father loaded all of Laena’s things into the car.
Laena gave you a big hug before she held you by the shoulders and stared into your eyes.
“Before I leave I need to tell you something.”
“Is everything okay? Did you forget something?” You asked and turned your head back towards the dorms.
Laena nodded and brought your attention back to her. “I have everything. I just think you should know that Alicent likes girls.”
You furrowed your brows. “What?”
“Alicent is a lesbian.” Laena gave your shoulders a quick squeeze. “So don’t be afraid to go after her okay?”
“What? Why would you- I mean I don’t even,” you rambled.
Laena laughed. “(y/n), I knew from the second I saw you that you weren’t straight. I’m like a gay people magnet it’s crazy.”
You exhaled. “Sorry I didn’t tell you. I didn’t want things to be weird between us.”
“It’s okay. I know things like this aren’t easy. For the record, nothing will ever change between us because you like girls (y/n).” Laena gave you a quick kiss on the cheek. “Now go get your girl.”
Laena let go of your shoulders and got into her parent’s car. She rolled the window down and waved to you as they pulled away.
You waved back with a bittersweet smile on your face. You would miss Laena...but the bombshell she dropped on you before leaving had your mind reeling.
-
Things hadn’t changed much since Laena’s departure. You didn’t talk to the other girls as often anymore but you and Alicent were closer than ever.
The two of you were practically glued to each other’s side.
That night you prepared everything for the movie night you and Alicent had planned. She really wanted to see the new horror movie on her favorite streaming site so you offered to watch it with her.
Alicent arrived right on time, with a bowl of freshly popped popcorn in her arms.
“Are you ready to watch the scariest movie you’ve ever seen?” She asked, a mischievous glint in her eyes.
You laughed. “I doubt it will be that scary.”
Alicent walked into the room and set the bowl of popcorn on your bedside table. Then she turned back to you.
“You said that about the last movie we watched and then you made me sleep in Laena’s old bed for two weeks because you were convinced an evil demon was under your bed.”
You rolled your eyes. “Whatever. I still Aliandra totally cursed the room after that fight we had.”
Alicent shook her head. “You’re so weird.”
You walked up to her and playfully shoved her with your shoulder. “You know you love it.”
Alicent laughed. “Ugh, for some ungodly reason I do.”
Then the two of you settled side by side in your bed. Alicent grabbed your arm and wrapped it around her waist. She always claimed it was more comfortable that way and you never argued.
You hit play and within two minutes regretted saying yes to watching it. Alicent would be sleeping in Laena’s bed again for the next several days.
-
As a thank you for spending the night in your room for weeks after you got scared, just as she had predicated, you planned a special picnic for Alicent.
It was on the date of the pink super moon. It had been the only thing Alicent talked about for the past week.
So when night fell, you led Alicent up to the roof and revealed the extensive spread of charcuterie and foreign snacks Alicent loved.
Alicent beamed. “You did this? For me?”
“Of course. I wanted to thank you for staying with me every night after we watched that movie,” you confessed sheepishly.
“You didn’t have to do this (y/n).”
You led Alicent to the picnic blanket and sat opposite her. Alicent sat and immediately grabbed her favorite snack. You smiled as she dipped the vanilla wafers into the chocolate frosting.
She let out a small moan as she ate. You laughed, happy that your plan had worked.
After the two of you had filled your bellies with food and sparkling cider, you sat shoulder to shoulder.
Alicent stared up at the pink super moon while you gazed at her. Neither of you spoke, and you didn’t have to.
“You’re staring at me,” Alicent said before tearing her eyes away from the moon.
You looked away and blushed. “I am not.”
“You totally were, you weirdo,” Alicent teased.
You met her gaze. “And if I was staring?”
“I would ask why,” she replied while looking down at your lips.
“I think you’re beautiful.”
Laena’s words rang in your ears. It was now or never, you thought.
Alicent looked back up at you. “You do?”
You nodded. “You’re the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen.”
Alicent smiled then leaned in close. You closed the gap between the two of you and pressed your lips to hers.
Her lips felt soft, and tasted of cider.
Alicent climbed into your lap without breaking the kiss. She cupped your face and kept you close. Your hands settled on her lower back.
You kissed until your lungs begged you for air. Even then you only pulled away long enough to catch your breath before kissing Alicent once more.
-
Winter break felt like ages. You had been apart from your girlfriend for too long and you needed the feel of her lips against yours.
So the second your car pulled up to the dorms you raced out and headed directly to Alicent’s room.
She had sent you a text that she had arrived a few hours early.
You barged into her room and immediately wrapped your arms around her.
Alicent laughed as you peppered kissed to the back and sides of her neck.
“I missed you too (y/n),” she said.
You stopped kissing her and let go. Alicent turned to face you and she gave you a proper kiss.
“Welcome back,” she whispered when she pulled away.
“It’s good to be home,” you replied.
Alicent immediately enlisted your help with unpacking her things and setting up her room for the spring semester. Alicent liked to have a new theme to her room every semester.
After you had helped Alicent set up her room you went to yours. Your driver had texted you that he had brought everything up so all you had to do was unpack.
You opened the door and felt a sense of deja vu as silver hair popped out from the bathroom.
“You must be (y/n),” the silver haired girl said.
She came up to you and wrapped you in a hug.
“And you must be Rhaenyra,” you replied.
Rhaenyra let go of you and nodded.
“Laena has said nothing but great things about you.”
You smiled sheepishly. “I would hope so.”
Rhaenyra laughed and began to ask you all about the school, the girls, and the classes.
You gave Rhaenyra a tour much like the one Laena had given you the previous semester. Then you introduced her to all of the girls. Rhaenyra and the girls clicked instantly.
A part of you was a bit jealous they had gotten along so easily when it had taken you a few weeks before they really warmed up to you.
But she was Laena’s cousin. You knew she had to be as sweet as Laena, and so far she had been. So nothing could bring you down.
After introductions you and Rhaenyra walked back to your dorm. You hoped to introduce her to Alicent but you could not find her. So that would just have to wait until lunch.
-
At lunch, you and Rhaenyra sat with the whole gaggle of girls. They asked Rhaenyra all about how Laena was doing, and they wanted to know more about her. From the answers Rhaenyra gave them you deduced she was not really all that much like Laena.
Rhaenyra rode a motorcycle (she was two years your senior but had been held back a year due to a learning disability she had that wasn’t diagnosed until later in her life), and she liked to play rugby.
Everyone thought Rhaenyra was the coolest and they declared her the coolest girl in school right then and there.
You laughed along but a part of you felt like something was about to shift.
Alicent walked up to the table where you all sat.
You smiled. “Hey, I was looking for you all morning.”
Alicent didn’t reply. Her gaze was completely on Rhaenyra.
Rhaenyra stretched her hand out to Alicent and introduced herself.
“Laena mentioned you would be joining us,” Alicent replied and shook Rhaenyra’s hand.
“Sadly, she didn’t mention just how beautiful you are so I’m left completely speechless,” Rhaenyra replied. She turned Alicent’s hand over and kissed the top of it. “A pleasure to meet you Alicent.”
Alicent raised her brows. “Oh,” was all she said.
Thankfully, Rhaenyra’s attention shifted to Aliandra and a bet that she had made with one of the other girls about how much Rhaenyra could bench press.
You stared at Alicent, growing upset at her response to Rhaenyra’s obvious flirting.
Alicent would not meet your gaze, which only made you more upset.
-
Back in your dorm room you clarified to Rhaenyra that Alicent was your girlfriend.
Rhaenyra apologized for flirting with Alicent and promised she would respect your relationship.
You had no reason to doubt her so you didn’t. You took Rhaenyra to the welcome back party in one of the senior’s suites.
It was not Rhaenrya’s first party.
The social butterfly she was, Rhaenyra flitted from person to person. She was the center of attention when she challenged one of the Citadel boys to a drinking contest.
Everyone cheered when she won.
You felt rather inferior to Rhaenyra. Especially since all of the girls who had been your friends now clung to Rhaenyra’s side.
So you left the party and went to Alicent’s room.
Alicent didn’t want to go to the party as she was supposed to have a call from her father after dinner and knew she would be in no mood.
You knocked on the door and heard Alicent tell you to enter. So you opened the door and walked inside.
Alicent sat by the window, frowning.
“Are you alright?”
“No,” Alicent confessed. “I just got off the phone with my dad.”
You nodded slowly. “Okay, what can I do?”
“Hold me,” Alicent asked, her voice breaking.
Immediately you went to her side and wrapped her up in your arms.
-
Things had taken a turn in your relationship with Alicent.
It turned out she had a class with Rhaenyra, and they started to spend a lot of time studying by themselves.
You often asked to join as you had chemistry this semester and science was your worst subject but they insisted it was best to study on their own.
You had no reason to doubt Alicent or Rhaenyra so you believed them.
But suspicion soon crept up your spine.
Rhaenyra rarely spent time in your dorm room. She really only used it to sleep and bathe.
You didn’t know where she went the rest of the time and you were scared it was Alicent’s room.
So one day when Alicent had told you she was busy studying in the library you went to her room.
You noticed photo booth pictures of Alicent and Rhaenyra sitting on Alicent’s desk.
You picked them up.
One of them had Alicent and Rhaenyra a little too close for comfort. Your stomach twisted.
They had lied to you. Clearly they did not spend all their time studying. They just didn’t want to include you, and you had a sneaking suspicion why.
-
Every date you planned with Alicent ended with her canceling it. Something always came up or she simply was too tired from studying to do anything.
You tried to visit Alicent in her dorm room but she was hardly ever there either. You searched the rooftop and only found her telescope covered in cobwebs, yet another sign of how much time had passed since the two of you had gone up there.
She also had developed a habit of leaving you on read, or sending your calls straight to voicemail.
“She’s totally hooking up with Rhaenyra. How do you not see that,” Aliandra asked you.
You sighed. “I don’t want to assume the worst of Ali.”
Aliandra shook her head. “You’re a sweet girl (y/n). You need to end things for your own sake.”
Then she grabbed her books and left. You sat alone in the library, hoping to see a glimpse of your girlfriend.
Was she still your girlfriend? You didn’t even know.
-
In a last ditch effort to save your relationship, you set up a movie night with Alicent.
You knew the sequel to her favorite horror movie was going to drop on streaming sites that night at midnight and that was not something Alicent would miss.
She promised to not cancel this time, and that filled you with hope. Maybe this was just a rough patch.
The night of the premiere arrived and you finished setting up everything in your room. You popped a fresh bag of popcorn and readied Alicent’s favorite snacks.
Then you sat on your bed and waited.
You ended up waiting hours.
You sent texts and calls to no avail. Alicent was not answering and it was past midnight.
Frustrated and angry you marched to Alicent’s room. How could she leave you hanging like that?
You knocked on her door.
“Alicent? Alicent open the door,” you called out.
No answer came. So you knocked again, louder this time.
Still nothing.
So you walked back to your room in defeat.
As you made your way to your room you passed by the large window that overlooked the lot where everyone pulled up to drop people off.
There Rhaenyra pulled in on her motorcycle, Syrax, and came to a stop. You stepped closer to the window and realized Rhaenyra was not alone.
Your heart sank.
It was Alicent. She had her arms wrapped around Rhaenyra’s waist.
Tears pricked at the corners of your eyes. You turned away from the window and raced to your room.
You buried your face in your pillows and let the tears flow. You had lost her.
-
Alicent had ghosted you.
How she had successfully managed that at a small, private, boarding school was beyond you but it was probably due to the fact that you did not like confrontation.
You had accepted the truth.
Rhaenyra had stolen your girlfriend.
She was nothing like Laena.
Thankfully Rhaenyra had not charmed everyone. Aliandra didn’t hate Rhaenyra but she was certainly more skeptical of the silver haired girl.
So you were able to switch rooms and be roommates with Aliandra pretty quickly after you realized the truth.
Aliandra welcomed you to her room but warned she was quite messy. She was very messy indeed but you would deal with it because you never wanted to see Rhaenyra or Alicent ever again.
But you did.
The campus was not very large and you often saw them arm in arm walking about the courtyard.
It hurt every time, and you would always end up crying into your pillow.
-
Weeks later, after countless tears and ruined silk pillowcases, you had finally moved on from Alicent (or so you had deluded yourself).
You had even managed to make new friends.
Things were starting to look up.
Then you saw Alicent’s father walk across the quad. You had only seen him in photos but he was a very distinct man so you knew that was him immediately.
You intended to think nothing of it and walk straight to chemistry class but your feet led you to Alicent’s door.
You sighed. You had moved on. What on Earth were you doing outside Alicent’s door?
“What are you doing here,” came a familiar voice behind you.
You whirled around to see Alicent standing behind you, her eyes red and swollen from crying.
Your heart softened.
“I...I saw your Dad in the quad.”
At the mention of her father fresh tears filled Alicent’s eyes. She pushed past you and into her room.
You followed her and shut the door behind you.
“I wanted to check in on you. To see if you were alright. I know how your dad can be.”
Alicent let out a hollow laugh. “Why do you even care?”
“Unlike you, I have compassion and empathy.”
Alicent turned to face you. “That’s fair.”
She wrapped her arms around herself.
You sighed. “I’m sorry that wasn’t cool. I just...” You shook your head. “Just forget I even came here. I’m sorry.”
You turned to leave but Alicent raced forward and grabbed your wrist.
“Don’t go.”
You closed your eyes. “I can’t stay Alicent.”
You felt her arms wrap around you from behind. She let her forehead rest against the back of your shoulder.
“I’m sorry (y/n). I’m so sorry for how I treated you. It was childish and heartless. Just please...don’t leave.” Alicent sighed. “He was especially cruel today.”
Hearing the pain in her voice weakened your resolve. You opened your eyes and sighed.
“Okay. I’ll stay.”
Alicent let go of you and you turned to face her. She cupped your face with her hand and ran her thumb across your cheek.
“Thank you.”
The two of you climbed into Alicent’s bed, as you had many times before, and she wrapped your arm around her waist. She let her head rest on your shoulder.
Silence enveloped the room.
Like before, it was not uncomfortable silence even though so much had changed between you.
“I want us to be friends (y/n). I miss you,” Alicent whispered.
You winced. It hurt to hear she missed you but only wanted to be friends.
“I can’t,” you admitted. “I’m still in love with you.”
Alicent lifted her head and met your gaze. “I’m sorry I can’t love you the way you deserve (y/n).”
Tears filled your eyes. “It’s okay.”
A tear fell down the side of your cheek and Alicent gently wiped it away. You swallowed the rest of your tears.
Alicent let her head rest of your shoulder once more. She laced her fingers with your free hand.
You couldn’t change the way things were but you could stay there, with Alicent, comforting her after her father had upset her in the way he always did.
She was no longer yours but you would always be the one she sought whenever she needed comfort. You were the only one who truly knew her, and she knew you would comfort her each and every time.
So during summer break you asked your parents to send you back to public school. You couldn’t be Alicent’s comfort anymore, not when she was the source of your heartache.
#alicent higtower imagine#alicent hightower x reader#alicent hightower#house of the dragon imagine#house of the dragon reader insert
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You And Me And Buck
Rating T, 1.7k, Buddie, 911
Eddie asks Christopher about his feelings concerning his new attempt at dating.
Chris' answer has him rethinking what he already has in his life.
A little episode coda for 6x14, mostly inspired by the clip of Eddie’s date that we had seen already before the episode aired.
Read on AO3
"Are you going to see her again?"
Eddie would lie if he said that Chris’ question didn’t take him by surprise. He tries not to lie to his son, and he certainly didn’t outright lie about this, either, but he kind of did omit the fact that his hangout the evening before had been a date.
But Chris is old enough and well-versed enough in the intricacies of the English language by now, that Eddie knows that’s what he’s asking about. Are you going to go on another date with her?
The answer is no, he’s not, they both agreed on that, and he doesn’t mind that that’s the point they came to. He isn’t even particularly looking to start dating again, doesn’t think he will anytime in the near future, so he’s not exactly sure why he counters Chris’ question with his own.
"How would you feel about it if I did?"
Chris looks at him calculating, or, well, as calculating as a 12-year-old can look, pondering over an answer.
"I got used to Ana," he says finally, and Eddie doesn’t know what to do with that. It’s not an endorsement, neither of Ana, nor of Eddie dating at all, but he hasn’t specifically said that he’d hate it either. "I’ll get used to her too," he adds.
"But?" Eddie prompts him to continue, "I feel like there’s a but coming." A smile creeps onto his face when he sees Chris’ own face splitting into a grin. He feels a snarky reply coming.
"But," Chris says, enunciating clearly, grinning because there was indeed a but coming, but then quickly taking on a more serious air, making clear to Eddie that he really means it, "I prefer it when it’s just you and me and Buck."
Eddie nods because Chris has made it more than clear before, when he was dating Ana, that he didn’t like him dating, but this was much less negative than before. Eddie will take that as a win, despite the way that Chris’ "you and me and Buck" has lodged itself into the outskirts of Eddie’s brain like an ear worm, begging him to acknowledge it. He will, he thinks to himself, as soon as his brain figures out how to process it.
"Well," he says instead, "it will be just us a little while longer."
"Okay." Chris smiles a tired smile up at him and Eddie takes that as his queue to get up and leave the room.
"Good night, mijo," he says and closes the door.
"Good night, dad," Christopher replies around what is without a doubt a yawn.
They’re a family, Eddie rationalizes later, when he’s lying in his own bed, staring at the ceiling, unable to sleep. The three of them make up a family, and it’s one of the truest things Eddie knows about his own life. It’s not interpretation, it’s not wishful thinking, it’s not something that Chris only believes in his still-childlike convictions. It’s one of the fundamentals of the universe. It should explain all there is to Chris’ remark, since it does, and yet: Eddie can’t help but feel like there’s something he’s missing, some dimension to the remark that’s not yet encompassed by the unshakable truth of their being a family.
He’s overthinking it, Eddie is sure of that, and at the end of the night he’s not sure if it’s into Chris’ or his own intent that he’s attributing this additional information.
"I feel like I’m a divorced dad starting to date someone new again who the child disapproves of," he voices his thoughts on his shift the next day.
"I thought you said you wouldn’t see her again?" Chimney asks, just as Bobby says: "Didn’t you already clear this up with him when you were dating Ana?"
"I’m not gonna see her again," he replies to Chimney, "that was more of a hypothetical question." He shrugs. "Just trying to figure out how he’s currently feeling about it. Besides, you never know when Tia Pepa will spring something like this on me again. So I thought it’s better to be prepared."
"Do you want to date the next person she springs on you?" Eddie can hear the lifted eyebrows in Chimney’s voice without looking.
He grimaces. "No."
"And," he restarts, well aware of Bobby’s still lingering question, "I didn’t know if he ended up being okay with me dating in general, or just with Ana."
"You said he didn’t throw a salad bowl tantrum like the last time, so to me it seems like he reacted well," Hen points out, "so what are your hold-ups?"
Eddie grimaces again. "I wasn’t actually finished," he admits. He’s really glad that Buck is riding with Ravi and some of their other teammates in the other firetruck today, since he’s not sure he could say what he does after that the way he does if he wasn’t, not before he hasn’t untangled his thoughts about it. "I feel like I’m a divorced dad starting to date someone new again," he restarts, "who the child disapproves of since they want their divorced parents to stay together."
"Shannon is dead," Hen says cautiously, "he knows that."
"Yes," Eddie says, "because in this scenario my ex-wife isn’t my actual ex-wife, or even any of the other women I dated, but it’s Buck." He moves his hands in a kind of "ta-da" gesture, expressing that he finished talking.
There’s a silence in the truck that is soothing Eddie, just knowing that they know as little what to do with it as he does.
"So what," Chimney asks finally, "now you think Christopher wants you to date Buck?"
He’s obviously trying to be funny, but Eddie stays quiet, has to think about that. Because: "I hadn’t even considered that."
He sees Chimney and Hen share a look at the quiet way he breathes these words out. Eddie thinks Chimney was probably aiming for a "No, of course not," and up until this very moment Eddie would have assumed that’s what his answer would be.
But now he thinks back to the way Chris’ comment unsettled him the night before, for a reason other than the knowledge that he doesn’t want Eddie to bring someone new into their family of three, the way he tried to evoke with this little analogy he’s been telling the team.
Of all analogies he could have chosen, he chose one where he casts himself and Buck as a divorced couple. No matter how accurate to Chris’ sentiment it might be, Eddie considers that his choice of analogy might be a tell in itself. Like his weird feeling the night before.
Sensing his oncoming panic, his team seems to have chosen a different road to approach him now.
"Has he given any other indication that that’s what he wants?", Hen asks more cautiously, softer, Chimney nodding along but staying quiet, like he’s afraid he’ll make it even worse, "what did he say exactly?"
"I don’t know," Eddie admits, because he hasn’t looked for it before, hasn’t once considered it. "He just said that he prefers it when it’s just the three of us. He hasn’t said anything about dating, but what if…" he trails off.
He kind of has the urge to laugh. It feels a little ironic now. When he was with Ana, he handled dating just fine, but the idea of forming a family with her gave him panic attacks. Now, the panic is clawing at his throat again, but he can handle Buck being a part of his family just fine. In fact, he loves it. It’s still the only thing about this that feels steady. Like an anchor that, while not being able to smooth out the waves, still keeps him in place and from falling into the deepness of the troubled waters.
Just as contradictory, he now wishes that Buck had been riding with them instead of in the other engine. Eddie can clearly hear Buck’s voice in his mind asking him if he’s panicking, and he thinks it’d help calm him down, even while knowing that had Buck been here, Eddie would not be in the situation he is now.
And maybe that should have been Eddie’s first hint (or second, technically) that something was going on with him. That he realized even while telling his analogy that he would not have told it the same way if Buck had been present. He should have seen the avoidance for what it was, but then again, Eddie had always been good at avoiding and ignoring his uncomfortable thoughts.
Repression, the doctor had called it.
"If that’s what you think Chris meant, maybe you should think about why that is," Hen suggested, just as softly.
"I will," Eddie says, partly because it is true, and partly because there’s nothing else he feels able to say. He stays quiet the rest of the ride, the cogs turning in his head, only vaguely taking note of the worried looks the team are sending towards him and each other.
He does think about it. It’s the echoes of Buck’s and Dr. Salazar’s voices in his head that are spurring him on to look at what he’s feeling, and — well, mostly to look at what he wasn’t feeling. He’s taking a big long look at all the suspicious absences. All the moments where he braced himself on the rational explanations, without looking at the feelings behind or around it. And all the ordinary feelings that he paid just as little attention to for believing their origin to be obvious.
He examines all of his interactions with Buck over the last couple of months. As well as all their interactions as a family, the three of them, him and Buck and Christopher.
The conclusion he comes to is this:
Chris will not have to worry about Eddie bringing anyone else into their family any time soon, maybe ever.
Fuck.
Drop me a little kudos on AO3
#buddie#buddie fic#911 fox#911 abc#i guess wtf#eddie diaz#eddie diaz fic#fic#sif writes#911 s6#911 season 6
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TIMING: Around Christmastime
PARTIES: Zane @rn-zane & Wynne @ohwynne
LOCATION: A store
SUMMARY: Zane and Wynne have to deal with an entitled customer while in line together! A conversation follows.
CONTENT WARNINGS: N/A
After all this talk about Christmas decorations and consumerism and what not, Zane couldn’t help but feel a little bit guilty as he hugged the shopping basket to his chest. It was just a few strings of lights, nothing boisterous, but the darkness of the house from the outside felt more and more looming with every passing day. The least he could do was put up some lights, pretend it was inviting when he got home from work. Actually making it look lived in would perhaps prevent an accidental squatter from settling in, too. Especially now with Chris dropping in when needed.
The store was fairly busy, an after-work rush forming a decent queue to the cash register. Zane zoned out, eyes rolling slightly when he finally noticed that there was indeed Christmas music playing. Apparently it really was never too early. Blocking out the rather bad pop-rendition of Santa Baby, his eyes roamed aimlessly until they caught on a gut wrenchingly familiar sight. Wynne’s back was facing him but it was them, no doubt about it. A few people separated them in the line but the second they’d finished paying, Wynne would turn and spot him.
They’d made it very clear that Zane’s… well, existence, brought them discomfort. He couldn’t blame them in the slightest. Shifting on his feet, worry rising at the thought of ruining Wynne’s whole day, about them probably trying to be polite while absolutely hating the sight of him, Zane made the sudden decision to simply leave. Gently nudging the person in front of him with an apologetic smile, he gestured past her. “Sorry, I just need to-”
“Boy, if you think I’m letting you cut this line, you are dead wrong.” Her voice rang out loudly, eyes sharp and freezing Zane to the spot, excuses about just needing to get past to leave falling on deaf ears as she continued on a tirade of ‘kids these days and their manners.’
—
With their new job paying a little better, Wynne was starting to grow more comfortable with spending some money on themself. One of their newest objectives when it came to spending money was adding more items to their wardrobe, which had been limited and very much filled with old Protherian clothing ever since they’d ran away. And though those fabrics were sturdy and comfortable, they looked out of place or rather — not like themself. Someone who had grown untethered from the commune that had clad them, fed them and told them how to both live and die.
They had tried on different clothes, looking at their figure in the mirror as if it was an improved version of themself, while also feeling like they were a stranger. It wasn’t really like they were venturing out wildly — they still clung to muted, earthy tones. But there was a pair of jeans in their arms that felt very much like a statement piece to them.
It was a glorious, kind moment where their freedom was celebrated in a tiny yet meaningful way. They almost forgot about the pessimism that had overtaken their mind, but it soon enough returned when another customer raised her voice. Wynne looked over their shoulder to look at the commotion, eyes already wide but growing wider at the sight of Zane. The sound of the woman’s voice seemed muffled even if it grew louder with every self righteous work she spoke and Wynne swallowed.
They seemed to land after a moment, grasping the situation better as in the background of their mind they remembered the vampire woman who had forced Zane’s head down into their neck. How she was dead like Padrig and the demon. They didn’t feel afraid, they found, just a general type of bad. Like their guts were churning in their stomach in response. “It’s okay, he’s with me, he’s not cutting in line,” she said to the woman, fingers digging in the fabric. “But we’ll um, leave. Okay?” Wynne moved from their spot in the line, leaving one less person for the angry woman to wait on and heading towards the back of it. The last thing they wanted was to be a witness or participant in some kind of scene. At the back of the line they loitered, looking at Zane and wanting to say something — just not being sure what.
—--
This was hell. Hell was real and Zane was stuck smack dab in the middle of it, being shouted at by an older lady with Wynne’s attention turning towards him, eyes widening in horror. He could have moved first, turned his head away, anything. Instead, Wynne’s gaze and the angry confrontation kept him glued to the spot, mouth dry and stomach twisted with anxiety. In some karmic twist, Wynne was the one who stepped up to the rescue, diffusing the situation.
The woman still looked offended but clearly found it harder to be angry with Wynne than the tall and, in her opinion, rude young man. Zane, to his credit, did manage to mutter an apology despite being practically smacked speechless at this point. His feet shuffled until he too had left the queue, hands clutching desperately at the basket in his hands. As if the solution to this situation rested somewhere underneath the lights and garland stuffed in there.
Wynne was watching him, making a prompt exit stage left seem a bit hasty, so Zane slowly shifted his way over. A good six feet of distance separated them, both seeming just as lost for words. “Those look nice,” was the first thing to leave his mouth that wouldn’t have been a new rendition of profuse apologies, head nodding towards the jeans in their arms.
—
So much had happened since that time in the barn. That wasn’t to say the memories had grown any less sharp and jagged — Wynne still awoke panting to the memory of that dank and dark place, feeling that cold sharp pain in their neck again. They still looked at Arden and wondered if she thought about it too, if she replayed those bits even if she didn’t want to. But so much had happened since all the same.
Some of the most relevant occurrences perhaps having happened within them. Though part of them was more lost than ever now that the demon was dead and that chapter was closed, they also felt more in charge than they ever had before. Zane was no longer as scary a thing as he had once been, in those initial days, weeks and even months since the kidnapping. And though they felt uncomfortable, there was no resentment or fear to be found. Just that same sadness that everything came back to these days.
They looked down at their jeans, then back up at Zane. “Oh. Thank you.” Wynne grimaced a little. They almost opened their mouth to explain that they were very excited to buy new clothes, but Zane barely really knew them. “That woman was not very nice. Your … lights are nice though.” They dug their teeth in their lip. “Um. How have you … been?” They did kind of wonder. After all, they understood now that Zane had lost quite a bit at that barn, too.
—
It wasn’t a smile but it was… something. Their eyes no longer held the same glaring amount of conflict as they’d done in the hospital, the last time Zane had seen them. Wynne looked better, too. Stronger, almost. But still in some ways shrunken by the weight of the vampire’s presence. He glanced back towards the woman who had loudly made her opinions known, giving a small shrug. “People get tense around the holidays,” he excused, even though he had no idea if that was just the lady’s general attitude. Benefit of the doubt.
His lips quirked slightly, relieved in some ways that Wynne seemingly wanted to keep this conversation going. It almost slipped out, that he was going to decorate the house but bringing their attention to the place Wynne had been held and hurt seemed… bad. “Trying my hand at some decorating,” Zane said lamely instead, shifting his weight, wishing things were different.
“Oh, uhm…” His eyebrows had shot up in surprise, the question probably the last thing he’d expected Wynne to ask. “You know… dealing. Done a bit of training with Emilio which was… surprisingly nice. Lots of work, keeping busy.” Zane focused on relaxing his hands, currently twisting the handle of his basket within an inch of its life, the plastic threatening to snap. “You and uh, Ariadne, huh? That’s great.”
—
That seemed to be true enough, that these so-called holidays made people more tense. Wynne tried not to think about last year around this time, when they’d been on the run and so many places had been packed and decorated. “I guess so.” People at home would get stressed around big rituals and the like as well, lash out more easily and make larger demands. They wanted to stop comparing things to the past and live in the present.
But it was unshakeable. Zane stood across from them in the store, but they were also across from them in the barn. They blinked. “I like the decorations,” they stated bluntly and simply, “The town looks nice. Twinkling like that.” They tried not to think about where Zane might put up the decorations, preferred to think it was just at the hospital.
When the vampire mentioned Emilio they were a little surprised. It wasn’t like they felt betrayed by this fact — just surprised. They trusted the slayer’s judgment, just as they trusted in Ariadne’s. That was two points in Zane’s favor. “That’s very nice of him. He taught me some moves too. It’s good I think, for us.” They probably could use some fighting skills. “Still at the hospital?” Wynne beamed a little, nodding. “Yes. I’m — maybe it’s …” They cut themself off. “It’s really nice. About five months now.”
—---
Zane couldn’t pretend not to notice the signs of discomfort, the way Wynne’s eyes would unfocus for a second or shift uncomfortably away from him, the tension in their shoulders. Not that he was doing any better but comparing their situations felt unfair - Wynne didn’t have anything to make up to him. “I agree. It’s always been my favorite thing about the season, everyone trying to keep away the darkness.” He huffed out a quiet chuckle at himself. “Which sounds way too dramatic when talking about fairy lights.”
Talking about the people they both knew instantly felt safer. Zane didn’t want Wynne feeling obliged to ask how he was doing, to pretend to care about his emotional state just for the sake of politeness. Both of them cared about Emilio, for some reason, and Ariadne for obvious reasons so the common ground felt steadying. The line moved forward and the two shuffled along with it. “Yeah, it was strangely nice. He’s a good teacher.” It was comforting that Wynne was learning how to defend themselves, too. While Zane definitely needed to, it was clear which of the two was more vulnerable. “Still there, yup. No shortage of people that need the ER, sadly.”
Watching Wynne’s face be taken over by an emotion that wasn’t stress nor discomfort made Zane unable to contain his own smile. “I’m really happy for you two. It’s good that you have each other.”
—
The world had been painted in black and white at home. No shades of gray — just absolutes. Things were either good or bad. There was either sowing or reaping, day or night, life or death. All these opposites were required for a balanced world, and in that kind of world view there was no space for someone like Zane. Someone who had hurt them badly and was still good. But Wynne had gained insight over the past months and knew now that these things could coexist. “No, it makes sense. At home we’d burn a lot of candles when it got dark. And there were the stars, of course. You can’t see them as well here.” They flushed a little, at this lifting of the veil.
It was still hard to trust their own judgment at time, as it felt like their mind was leaking with the thoughts of people back home. But Emilio and Ariadne trusted Zane, and he was being nice to them now. They inhaled and exhaled deeply and found that their unease wasn’t as large as it had been at the beginning of this conversation. “He really is.” They smiled sadly. “I would hope one day less people need it.”
They nodded. “I think so too.” Wynne was quiet for a moment, fumbling with the tag on the jeans. They didn’t want to befriend Zane, but they also didn’t want to think of him as the monster from their memory any more. He’d killed the woman who’d forced his teeth down. Wynne had condemned their mentor to death. There was a red thread there, something tying them together. They didn’t want to explain it to him yet (if ever), but it made them feel something close to forgiveness. “It’s okay. If you want to be friends with Ariadne. I’ve thought about that. It’s okay. You seem like …” They shrugged. “You could be a good friend to her.” They were both undead, after all. And in that area, Wynne could never offer Ariadne their full understanding.
—
It took him a moment to realize the flush spreading over Wynne’s face and another moment to realize why, his usual intuitiveness in reading people murky by the stress of this encounter. They had revealed something they hadn’t meant to, reminding Zane of their strange bonding experience way back in that hospital room. Another piece in the puzzle of Wynne's life, but clearly one they hadn’t meant to let slip so Zane brushed it off for them. “Nothing really beats a sky full of stars. I am a sucker for a scented candle, though.”
Again, silence settled between the two of them but it didn’t feel quite as heavy as before, a small step in the right direction perhaps? Zane was used to the silence of people thinking, pondering on a response or what to say next. Now that Wynne no longer looked like they wanted to bolt from the store, he could let the silence sit. Eyes widened slightly when they finally spoke again, a proverbial olive branch being handed over that Zane still didn’t feel quite deserving of. “That’s-” He cut himself off, an array of things to say at the ready that all eventually boiled down to sounding like he didn’t trust Wynne’s judgment on this.
“Alright. Well, I’ll be here if she has any time. I’ve heard being in a nice relationship can be really time consuming.” A joke, sort of, delivered with a soft smile. Almost hopeful. Zane didn’t expect Wynne to ever fully get over what had happened - it had left more scars than just the one they were clearly quite expert at covering up. But maybe things could, at some point, be fine.
—
Zane didn’t ask about where they’d come from, where they had burned the candles and seen the stars. There were a lot of places with candles and stars, of course, but it still felt like something personal. Maybe one day they’d tell him about how they’d recognized something of themself in him, but this place was not the right one. “I personally prefer a nice scented oil. But I don’t say no to a candle either.” This small bit of common ground was nice enough for now.
Had this really been the person who’d ripped open their throat? Who’d made them bleed despite his refusal to? It was hard to think of this Zane as the same person as he stood here, with strings of lights and talking of things so mundane. Wynne knew people contained multitudes. People could be vicious and violent and yet be kind, like Emilio. People could care about you and still intend to hurt you, like their parents. People could be the sweetest, softest person you knew and still have to make others afraid, like Ariadne. It didn’t make sense, but it did. It just was this way.
They let out a nervous laugh, bursting past their lips awkwardly. “We have our own lives! But yes … I do take up some of her time. But it’s okay. Really.” Wynne was sure of it. They felt a twinge of selfishness for their previous request, but then their neck was still marred. Some things took time. “I hope your house looks nice after decorating. I’m … I’m going to check out now. See you around, Zane.” There was no need to duck into an opposite direction if they were to see him again, after all. He hadn’t meant any harm in the barn and he certainly meant no, now. They lifted a hand in a half wave and walked back to the check-out, feeling their throat throb but feeling something besides their elation, too. Hope.
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Heads up you should prob check the spreadsheet to remove duplicate submissions if you haven't done so already! From a quick scan, two albums by the crane wives have been submitted twice and basically every MCR album has more than one submission
Not to worry, we've got everything handled in a separate spreadsheet, but we leave the public spreadsheet unaltered. If someone does submit a duplicate submission before it ends up in the queue, we do actually combine the submissions.
But yeah as of now, here are the duplicates that we're aware of: (readmore because there's 50 of them)
The Black Parade - My Chemical Romance [Posted]
Ugly death no redemption angel curse I love you - Ada Rook [Posted]
Tragic Kingdom - No Doubt [Posted]
Escape From Dragon House - Dengue Fever [Posted]
Meteora - Linkin Park [Posted]
Flood - They Might Be Giants [Posted]
I Brought You My Bullets, You Brought Me Your Love - My Chemical Romance [Posted]
Remain in Light - Talking Heads [Posted]
Full Collapse - Thursday [Posted]
Conventional Weapons - My Chemical Romance [Posted]
OK Computer - Radiohead [Posted]
Plans - Death Cab For Cutie [Posted]
The Queen Is Dead - The Smith [Posted]
Demon Days - Gorillaz [Posted]
The Bends - Radiohead [Posted]
After The Gold Rush - Neil Young
The Rise and Fall of Ziggy Stardust and the Spiders From Mars - David Bowie
A Night At The Opera - Queen
Fleetwood Mac - Fleetwood Mac
London Calling - The Clash
Riot! - Paramore
Jagged Little Pill - Alanis Morissette
tigers jaw - tigers jaw
The Silver Scream - Ice Nine Kills
Songs For the Deaf - Queens of the Stone Age
Infinity on High - Fall Out Boy
STOMACH BOOK - STOMACH BOOK
Parasite - Ada rook
Strange Mercy - St. Vincent
The Machines We Are - Dead and Divine
Loveless - My Bloody Valentine
signos - Soda Stereo
Strange Trails - Lord Huron
Live Through This - Hole
“in case i make it,” - will wood
twin fantasy - car seat headrest
The Fool in her Wedding Gown - The Crane Wives
Remember The Laughter - Ray Toro
Wide Open Spaces - The Chicks
Brand New Eyes - Paramore
Flight of the Knife - Bryan Scary and the Shredding Tears
Foxlore - The Crane Wives
The Horror and the Wild - The Amazing Devil
Circle Thinking - I Hate Sex
Ruin - The Amazing Devil
' ' O ' ' - Rinse & Repeat
The Fear of Fear - Spiritbox
The Jaws of Life - Pierce the Veil
And triplicates:
Three Cheers For Sweet Revenge - My Chemical Romance [Posted]
After Laughter - Paramore
If anyone happens to spot anything that we've missed, please let us know! We're using conditional formatting to catch duplicates, and it's caught everything we've queued so far, but misspellings and such could fly under the radar…
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Asks Compilation 23/10
Done and done. I'm surprised I didn't already have a tag for them, to be honest!
Oh, fun! I always wonder if people are reading for the first time along with me. I'm sure you've overtaken me already by now!
I don't think I'd have as much fun with the blog if it was less blind. Even the knowledge that the trolls existed was enough to heavily influence my theories.
Aren't they thirteen?
Granted, we don't know if trolls mature at the same rate as humans, but they certainly seem to be in that age range to me.
Nepeta, resident matchmaker, seems unsure about the current status of the Sollux/Aradia relationship, but she'd definitely drawn a heart there before. Plus, Aradia immediately identified the '8oyfriend' as Sollux, so there is something going on with them.
If it does, and he did, then that's pretty clever - but unfortunately for him, it's probably futile. There are surely a million other ways she could manipulate his desires.
I know Homestuck is controversial, but I always had the vague idea that, like Undertale, its reputation had a lot more to do with the fandom than the property itself.
I'm surprised there's that many people who say the comic is bad. The comic is great. Even if, worst-case-scenario, it jumps the shark on the very next page, there's still so much to love.
I guess this is a good explanation for why his name is so close to Lord British - thus, their similar invincibility schticks really are coincidental.
The former works well - although, I've just noticed on reread that he hasn't actually referred to himself as a doctor. He's just 'Doc'.
That said, I have reason to believe that he is, in fact, a real doctor.
Maybe he really is a gambling man.
Well, Terezi is referencing his comic before Earth even exists...
So it's like the SBaHJifier gag, but for the whole comic?
That sounds ambitious, but interesting, especially if it's doing everything you say it is. Any fanwork that people think was written by Hussie must be something special.
It's fun, getting both of these messages in the same week. Glad you're enjoying it!
Yeah, I didn't consider Equius as an option, back when Aradia was talking about this. I don't think I'd have picked him at the time, though.
Both Equius and Vriska convinced themselves that they had an arrangement with Aradia.
In retrospect, her own statement - which came after the two above - was, indeed, deliberately vague. It's supposed to make you wonder which of the two options she was talking about. As far as I can tell, there was no reason to assume it couldn't be Vriska - she'd even told Karkat that she was going to be the 'real leader', so we knew she was planning a power grab.
Anyway, I defaulted to her, since she'd talked about her co-leader arrangement only a couple of pages beforehand. I don't think I even remembered Equius was an option until he spoke to her later. Can't catch 'em all!
Pop! Team! Nepic!
Thank you! Yeah, Vriska's attitude is completely understandable at this point. Would she really have survived if she wasn't cruel?
I was skeptical about that line initially - but Vriska honestly doesn't seem to be much of a liar, so I think part of her really did see Aradia as a friend.
I personally doubt Aradia ever felt anything positive towards Vriska - she's a blue-blood, after all, a hateful sn0b - but that doesn't stop them being friends. After all, the same could be said about Karkat, towards Gamzee. Trolls just seem to see friendships differently.
I try to avoid queueing stuff - gotta put the live in 'liveblog', after all!
There are occasional exceptions, though. For example, if I answer a lot of (non-compiled) asks at once, and don't want to fill up people's dashboards, I might queue them to space them out a little - but never more than an hour or so in advance.
Really, the answer to your question is 'neither', since I don't have a schedule. Lately, I've been posting about four days a week, and each liveblog session will last for two to four posts - but that's all subject to change, depending on my mood, my energy levels, random life stuff and, frankly, the phase of the moon. Properly scheduling this blog has proved impossible, so I'm just embracing it at this point.
If there's one thing that Aradia and Vriska can agree on, it's that an Equius-made arm is good for only one thing - rippin' out hearts!
Sorry - no breaks longer than a week? Since Act 1?
I suppose if your website pays your rent, you don't really need a day job - but still, I'm surprised that no life stuff got in the way in all that time. Hell, it's already happened to me - and this comic is surely way easier to analyze than it is to write!
Well, I'm only on 2300 now, so I haven't seen much!
I'm just curious as to why he's seeking out Karkat, specifically. Jack seems to work independently, not taking orders from his Queen - so what's motivating him, this early in the game?
No reason it can't be both, right? This is probably one of the most emotionally intense things to happen to her since her death, and it just so happens to coincide with her 'resurrection'. Frankly, I'd have been more surprised if she didn't lose her shit.
Also - damn, I didn't notice he was mirroring her '0k' catchphrase.
No, Equius. No one was 0k with that.
Welcome! You can thank a few of my readers for helping me optimize my tagging system, too. I think it was @krixwell who first suggested I add a tag which included asks!
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20 questions writer meme!
Tagged by the wonderful @breakaway71! A little Friday night break to help me jumpstart some writing, hopefully?
1. How many works do you have on AO3? 26
2. What's your total AO3 word count? 219,077
3. What fandoms do you write for? Julie and the Phantoms, though I have a CW Nancy Drew fic percolating!
4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?
our hearts can speak ourselves unseen (first collab with @where-you-go, peterpatterlina + modern cyrano de bergerac)
complications you could do without (remix of crescent moon, peterpatterlina)
for love's sake only (the fake marriage historical/regency au, rulie)
want your midnights (the OG! new year's eve 1994, hint of peterpatter)
heaven above and closer (the other collab with @where-you-go, the 90s road trip coming of age au, julie x luke x reggie x bobby, willex)
5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not? Oh gosh. i try, for real, y'all. i often put it off because i want to get a good grade in commenting/responding, which is something real you can achieve, and then i end up not doing it at all. but i love each and every one i receive! i'm just so inconsistent about actually replying.
6. What is a fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? hmmmmm. excellent question; even if i write angst i tend to veer toward a happy or at least hopeful ending (example: leave the light on)
actually you know what, heart like a wheel is probably the angstiest if you think about it. it's just that the main character doesn't know it, lol.
7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? oh gosh. i love a happy ending, so pick one. they're mostly all varying degrees of happy, lol
8. Do you get hate on fics? i have been very lucky so far in that i don't get outright hate, no.
9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind? it's not the thrust (heh) of what i write, generally, but i have: for love's sake only and its sequel, to love's self alone, are both in the vein of a paperbook romance and are written as such. i do have a carrie x reggie smutfic in the queue though...
10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written? i can't say that i have! i might nod to another fandom but full crossovers seem so ambitious to me--two different worlds to track, two styles of story. i love reading them, though!
11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? if i have i'm not aware of it...
12. Have you ever had a fic translated? i have not!
13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? @where-you-go are now on our third collab (she, through some sorcery and witchcraft, got me to round robin on a luke x bobby fake dating story one week on here, and we're expanding it to a full fic, hopefully out before the end of the year!) and @daintyduck99 and i have put on that old song, aka the "i can't believe you married a rodeo cowboy" au, also hopefully coming soon! also maybe i'll poke @breakaway71 again about some dialogue i sent her ;)
14. What's your all-time favorite ship? i am a proud multi-shipper and you can't make me choose lololol
15. What's a wip you want to finish, but doubt you ever will? lol is "all of them" a valid answer? kidding. i have been struggling with getting over the finish line with WIPs this year so.
16. What are your writing strengths? dialogue, def. that's my theatre training/playwright classes coming through. i can always tell when i'm tired because my drafts devolve into dialogue only, haha.
17. What are your writing weaknesses? Oh gosh. endings! i can never seem to wrap things up in a snappy way! also lately stakes. like figuring out what the characters have at stake to lose in terms of the story.
18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic? i'll do it sparingly but i generally avoid whole conversations. my grammar in spanish is terrible and that's the only other language i'd feel comfortable writing any dialogue at all in. maybe i'd ask family about tagalog.
19. First fandom you wrote for? oh man. hahahahahahahaha the real answer might be "self-insert o-town fanfic in which my friends and i fell in love with the band members"? but i think it might be gilmore girls. i do want to archive all my ff.net and livejournal (well, the stuff i can find :( ) things so you may see them on an ao3 near you
20. Favorite fic you've written? oh gosh. i love them all because they're mine! maybe for love's sake only because it really feels like i finished a full novella with that one. or heart like a wheel because i love tertiary character explorations. or want your midnights because it started this whole thing. see, i can't choose. don't make me
Tagging @innytoes, @jmrothwell, @daintyduck99, @invisibleraven, and anyone else who sees this and wants to participate in the fun!
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California Sunset
Hey y’all! This is the first smut I’ve ever posted on the internet. I’ve been writing for a good six and a half to seven years now(four years for fun and around 3 or so years professionally) and I believe that I’m a pretty good writer. One thing though, when it comes to putting my work out there for people to read and interpret for themselves, sometimes that can be a bit nerve-wracking. Either way I put my ALL into my work whether it’s a smut, short story, poem, or an entire novel. I hope you all enjoy. (:
It’s a gorgeous, goregous night here in LA, the breathtaking sunset sitting perfectly in the middle of the sky. The swriling hues of orange and pink are enough to make anyone stop and stare in awe. You only hope that someone can find you as enchanting and beautiful as a warm sunset.
You figured that you had that with Chishiya, but now you aren’t so sure anymore. You’ve always been understanding of how busy and consumed in work that your boyfriend can be. Especially when he loses a pateint. You know how much of a toll that can take on his emotions at times. Being a doctor isn’t easy in anyway. All in the same, it’s a very rewarding career path.
As a nurse, you’re also occupied with your own career, with your life in general. But you’ve always gone by the belief that people make time for what they deem as a priority—what they consider important to them. And you always make time for Chishiya. Now it seems as though he’s starting to pull away from you. He barely touches you—rarely ever even compliments you anymore. You hate to admit how much that stings, how much it hurts your pride.
“Chishiya,” you call out to him, eyes glazing over his slim, relaxed stature. He’s so into the game that he’s currently playing on his playstation that you sadly doubt he heard you call his name. Or worse, he’s ignoring you on purpose.
You frown up, crossing your arms in impatience. “Chishiya!” This time your tone is a lot more crisp and assertive.
“Hm,” he mumbles, almost carelessly, never taking his eyes off of the tv screen.
In attempt to ignore his cold demeanor, you clear your throat in hopes that he can’t detect the hurt in your voice.
“I’m leaving to meet up with friends now. I won’t be back until very late.”
His eyes dart from his game and to you for a split second as he says, “Not too late. Be safe.” And just like that he averts every morsel of his attention back to the game.
Knowing how childish the very next words leaving your mouth are, you say them anyway, unable to hide your hurt. “Yeah, maybe I’ll come across a man that truly recognizes me and appreciates my damn existence tonight.” You eye him sharply, arms still stacked tightly across your chest—your special defense mechanism. He pauses his game as if on queue, a smirk forming on his soft, baby face, implying he’s willing to play along into your game. You resent how adorable and squishy you find this man. Even when he’s being a distant, insensitive, little prick.
He chuckles as he replies, “Sure. Send me a picture when you find him. I need to know what I’m up against.”
You scoff. “How do some nudes sound, Chishiya?” You retort, unable to conceal the emotion in your voice at this point. “Forget it. I’ll see you whenever you decide to act like you give a damn about me.”
That heavy and restricting sensation one gets in their throat when tears threaten to fall begins to bite at you as you turn abruptly to exit the room. But Chishiya has other plans. He grips you up, spinning you by your waist, somehow teleporting from his previous, peaceful position in his gaming chair and over to you. Sheesh. Don’t underestimate these shorter men. They move quick. Not to mention that surprising strength they have.
“What?” He questions, trying to look you in the eyes, but you stubbornly refuse to look at his face, afraid you’ll cry once you do so. “That’s why you’re threatening me with other men, huh? You think I don’t care about you?”
You push his hands off of your body, heaving out a small whimper. “Chishiya,” you whisper, your tone of voice tired and matter of factly. “Do you even find me attractive anymore? I mean seriously…you give me minimal devotion when we’re together. Just now, you could barely be bothered to pause that ugly game long enough to see off your girlfriend! And your affection? It’s almost as though you never even had any for me. You touch me like its an obligation and not because you genuinely want to. Do you get how that makes me feel as a woman? I feel as though you’re disgusted by me.”
He stands there for a second, his face displaying guilt and realization. Sighing, he walks over to his bed, hands in the pockets of his sweatpants as he flops down. “Come here.”
You can’t help it when your eyes roll slightly, stinging from the air. You walk over to him purposely standing about a foot or so away from the bed. He leans forward, grabbing you from behind your thighs and sitting you onto his lap. You blush when you feel him against you through your underwear.
He rubs your sides softly, squeezing them with intention. Your dress rises a bit at the action. “Let me start off by saying I love you; I love you so much it hurts me. You’re so gosh darn pretty it hurts me. There’s not a single part of your body and soul that I don’t adore.”
You manage to keep a soft eye contact with him as he pours himself out into you, squirming a bit as the sudden heavy and passionate mood of the room has you feeling shy. He smiles crookedly at your demeanor before continuing.
“I apologize for being distant, love. I shouldn’t direct my worries at you as if you’re the cause of them. You make me better and I forgot that for a moment there. On top of work and just being utterly drained all the time, I stored the fact that my stress reliever is you all the way back in to my mind. I’ll be more mindful from now on. I’ll be present.”
You swallow quietly, unsure of what to say. Your eyes are glued to his cat-like eyes as he smiles cheekily at you. You cave in at the precious sight, cupping his left cheek warmly.
“I love you, Chishiya. I’m always gonna be right here for you to talk to. I care about you and your wellbeing. You’re my heart.”
He nods reassuringly, taking both your hands behind your back and kissing you deeply. This catches you off guard, but you respond immediately, allowing his tongue to taste every inch of your mouth. You release a satisfied groan into his mouth, the vibration tickling the roof of it. He chuckles at the sensation. He’s giggling and being all light and feathery, but there’s a drive of concentration and lust in you as you grind into his pelvis, needing to feel more. Your eyes darken with arousal as the kiss gets more sloppy and explorative.
When he lets your arms loose from behind your back and slips a hand behind your neck to deepen the kiss even more, you become ecstatic; the feeling of sizzling passion and care eating away at you. You can hardly take it. He kisses you as if he wants to swallow you whole. In the nastiest of ways, he ravishes you immensely.
“Chishiya,” you breathe out, your core tingling with every sensation. Your stomach is on fire with excitement.
He places a final soft kiss to your lips before slipping your stretchable dress over your head. That look of hunger in his eyes mixed with a display of smug innocence drove you crazy. He knows exactly what he’s doing to you.
When your dress is off completely, he latches his tongue onto your nipple, teasing it with delicacy. He moves his mouth back and forth between your breasts, giving special attention to both of them. You gasp harshly when he grazes his teeth lightly over your hard nipples, sucking them with an exhilarating popping sound that slides off of his tongue.
“You’re so sweet,” he whispers in that husky voice that you love so much. He turns you over on your back onto the bed, laying a pillow behind your head for support. “Shit. You’re soaked, huh?”
Your eyes flutter open to the sight of him taking your underwear to the side, using his thumb to rub your clit tenderly. You blush hard at the remark and relish in the contact he’s delivering.
He continues this for a few more seconds as you only become wetter with each touch. Removing your panties all the way off and tossing them aimlessly, he positions himself perfectly between your thighs, planting love bites on them before sloppily kissing your pussy. You arch your back as far as it can go, aching to feel every sensation. You feel him smirk against your pussy, getting a kick out of how good he makes you feel.
Licking softly from your slit and back up to your clit as an appetizer, he sucks on the area, resulting in a squeal from you. He sucks on your pussy as though he hadn’t eaten all day. You’re pretty positive if it was possible to leave hickeys on a clit, you’d have a ton.
“Fuck,” you hiss, throwing your head back and grabbing the sheets in desperation. He looks up at you, slow and loving catlike blinks and admiration all over him. It’s something about the way he looks into your eyes as he tastes you that screams “I see right through you.”
“I’m coming,” you manage—barely a whisper. He can feel your pussy start to contract against his mouth and he gives his all to you as you ride out your orgasm against his face. It glistens with your arousal and this sight alone tips you over.
You gasp breathlessly as you come, stomach and chest heaving up and down. You have no control over your legs as they quiver uncontrollably. “Oh my fuck,” Is all you can say as your body is still coming off of the serious convulsion you just had. Teasingly, he begins rubbing the extremely sensitive area at quick speed, knowing how insane it drives you. You push him back weakly and groan, overwhelmed at the sudden touch. What a sneaky, little fucking tease, you think.
He rises up, giggling and hovering over you, leaning down to kiss you lovingly. “You always make such pretty noises for me.”
You wrap your arms lazily over his neck and pull him down for another kiss, forgetting all about the fact that you’re supposed to be going out tonight. Oh well. This is way better anyway.
And there’s the end of that! As you all can see I have a lot of love for the character Shuntaro Chishiya, as I do a lot of characters. But I just recently finished season 2 of Alice in borderland and it’s literally impossible for me to fall anymore in love with his character than I already am. I’m into a lot of different fandoms so expect all kinds of material on this blog! No one trick pony ish on this side. I do it all. I appreciate the read. Leave a like if you found this smut smutty enough for your taste. And leave a comment on anything I can improve! -Ash
#alice in borderland#chishiya shuntaro#sweet#intimate#affection#manga#first time reader#first smut#japanese#california#alice in boderland x reader#heartfelt#intimacy#hello tumblr
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