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runningfrom2am · 6 months

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leveling the playing field XIII

summary: with nowhere else to go after getting caught cheating to help lucy gray, you both make some desperately stupid decisions.

pairing: coriolanus snow x fem!reader

wc: 4.2k

tags/warnings: capitol brat!reader, maybe slightly ooc coryo, idk i tried my best. do they love each other or hate each other? who knows (we do, kind of). implications and mentions of abuse, so read with caution!! also a little bit of swearing but that's neither here nor there. oh, and manipulation (both of them lowkey)

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a/n: nothing much to say other than thank you guys and i hope you like it :)

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You think you might die from this heat. The ice bag that Coryo brought you only lasted so long, especially when you shared it with the covey, which cut its window of efficacy in half. Both of you trailed behind everyone on the way to the lake, besides for Maude Ivory who found a very comfortable spot on Coryo's back. You should have thought to buy her some new shoes before the several-hour hike, but you didn't think that would be of consequence.

"How is Sejanus?" You ask, making conversation as you wipe the sweat from your brow. You'd like to gauge if Coryo knew anything more about your mutual friend's habit of hanging around with the wrong people.

"He's... yeah. He's fine." Coryo sighs, adjusting his hold on Maude Ivory's legs around his waist as he steps over a tree root.

"You don't sound so sure." You laugh, tilting your head up at him.

The bruise on your cheek wasn't red anymore, now healing into a yellowish hue that Coryo could hardly tear his eyes away from. He wishes you were still in the habit of wearing makeup every day, then he wouldn't have to stare down the result of his failure every time he looked at you. He shakes his head. "Well, I'll tell you about it later."

You just nod, looking down at the ground in front of you to make sure you don't trip. Now it was your turn to wish that the two of you could talk about what's going on between you. Whatever Sejanus is up to with Billy Taupe reminded you that even though you're far away from the chains of the Capitol, you still weren't entirely free. Even if now it was just free of the prying ears of a little blonde girl who loved to talk. "If you could change one thing about your routine right now, what would it be?" You ask, looking up at him again and squinting at the sun as it breaks through the trees above you.

Coryo draws his head back for a moment, confusion washing over his features at the seemingly random question. "Uh, everything. Next question."

"Ah-ah," You shake your head, hair falling into your face which you quickly pull back again. "Only one thing."

"Okay, fine." He chuckles, shaking his head. "Um... not sure, honestly. Maybe I'd have more success trapping those damn Mockingjays." He grumbles, looking up into the treeline.

You laugh, rubbing over the mostly healed scratches on your arms. "Nothing yet, huh?" Up until the point that you forgave him, you had gone out every night for almost a week, having learned a better system for opening the traps that didn't result in them cutting up your arms with their claws. Not so much as a thank you from the birds that apparently could speak, until you had started to thank yourself every time you reached around the side of the traps to open the metal, just so they would echo it back to you. You knew it was crazy, but it had become a fun semblance of a normal routine.

"Not one. Hardly any Jabberjays either, we think someone was setting them free in the night, they were easier to trap at first." He replies, smiling at you despite his frustrations about it. He couldn't wait until they could catch enough for Dr. Kay so he could start shooting them instead. "Rebels, most likely."

"That's annoying." You laugh, trying to hide the nervousness in your tone. "Why would they care about some birds?" It was a stupid question to pose, to poke holes in his only theory when it didn't already point back to you.

"They're hardly more than animals themselves." He grumbles, shrugging. "No, actually, I'd probably spend more time with you, if I could." He changes his answer and effectively, the topic as well. At this, Maude Ivory lifts her head from his shoulder.

"Are you guys in love?" She asks, turning her head so she can look at you now.

"Oh, no." Your cheeks burn as you laugh, shaking your head. "It's complicated big kid business, Maude Ivory."

"That's enough." Coryo chuckles nervously, spinning her on his hip and carefully putting her down. "Go bother the others."

The girl giggles, walking backward in front of you with her shoes in her hand. "It's why, I love you, you're as pure as the driven-" She starts to sing a song you were writing with Lucy Gray, knowingly taunting you, but you're quick to cut her off.

"Hey! Don't!" You laugh quickly, pretending to push her forward so she'll run along. "They've got some thin walls in that house..." You chuckle quietly, avoiding his gaze as you watch her run up ahead.

After a few moments of silence, Coryo speaks again. "What about you? What would you change?"

"Can I be uncreative and say the same thing as you?" You ask, cheeks still red.

"Sure." He nods slightly, a small smile on his face.

"Great, because those birds are starting to get on my nerves." You joke, bumping your shoulder against his arm.

He smiles, rolling his eyes. "Yeah, yeah. Whatever. I hate you too."

"Oh, hush. You know I love you." You freeze up as soon as you say it, suddenly it holds a lot more weight to it than your typical friendly banter.

At that, Coryo drapes his arm over your shoulder with a satisfied smile, pressing a kiss to the side of your head.

"Can you tell me about Sejanus, now?" You ask, head placed on Coryo's lap as you lay on the dock. You had been out of the water for a little while, now, utilizing the sun to dry your wet hair and skin.

He looks back up to the cabin, seeing Lucy Gray and the rest of the covey scattered and picking plants or lying in the grass. "Uh, he just keeps sneaking off, and I found a good bit of money in his locker, but he told me he was broke so... I don't know what he's up to."

You sigh. "I've seen him hanging around Billy Taupe a lot. They're a sketchy crowd in the nicest of terms."

"Well, he is district. It doesn't surprise me that he'd associate with them." Coryo explains, distracted in a weak attempt at braiding a small section of your hair.

"He's gonna get himself killed." You mutter, eyes closed to block out the sun. You couldn't tell Coriolanus about how you ran into Sejanus a couple of weeks ago, knowing he would ask questions about why you were out at that time too. It's easier to lie to Sejanus than to him.

"It's not our problem if we stay out of it." Coryo tries to ease your mind.

"We can't just stand by and watch, though. It'll eat my conscience alive if something were to happen to him."

Coriolanus looks down at you, watching your calm expression form into something resembling worry. He chews on the inside of his cheek and nods to himself. He would have to do something, if Sejanus ended up getting in some kind of trouble, the guilt of knowing without acting will kill you. "Okay. I'll figure something out. I'll get him to keep his distance." He promises.

Days had passed since that interaction, and Coriolanus is crippled by the fear that he made a horrible mistake. He got the full story from Sejanus, and it was worse than he pictured.

You liked Sejanus, at least you acted like it when he was around. Coriolanus could always see that the district-born boy meant something to you, even if it was unclear based on the way you spoke about him when he wasn't present. Him running off into the woods with a bunch of derelect rebels was far from a viable option, Coriolanus wouldn't have it. He couldn't risk your reaction knowing that he told you he would do something to intervene.

He needed to talk to you. You were the only one he could trust to tell about the Capitol-bound recording he sent off of Sejanus' confession, or the news that his family had been kicked out of their apartment back home. He wasn't even sure he wanted to tell you. Coryo had been fighting this internal battle for what felt like ages, so maybe he could just include the basics, leave out his actions, and let you lift some of the tensions from his shoulders by telling him it would be okay. That it would all be over soon, and that you're proud of him for passing his exam. He could get the two of you out of this dump by the end of next week, and he couldn't get you away fast enough.

Unfortunately for him, when he finally arrived at the Hob on his night off you were already on stage with the Covey. You were laughing, dancing and spinning, occasionally joining Maude Ivory on her hip drum while Lucy Gray sang. The crowd loved you, and you loved the attention. He'd be lying to himself if he tried to say he didn't love watching you so happy, but the timing was inconvenient at best.

Coryo found his usual spot against the wall, sitting down next to Sejanus. He wasn't about to let him out of his sight, not anymore.

"Give it up for our friends in the band!" He smiles at Maude Ivory's excessive spirit as she holds her arms out to encourage applause before her eyes lock on him. Her face lights up more, somehow, and he greets it with a nod.

She turns to you while music is slowly tuning out, and gives a slight tug on the bottom of your new dress. It had been scuffed up in your fight with Ash, but you had cleaned it up nicely- hardly a stitch was out of place.

You look down at the girl, who just gives a slight nod in the direction of the wall Coryo was sat against. "He's here, you gotta sing it now!" Maude Ivory says, loud enough so you could hear but not enough to be picked up by the mic behind her.

You look very briefly over at Coryo, shaking your head at her as your cheeks turn rosy. "He's never gonna hear it." You say, leaning down to her level. "Who even says its about him, huh?"

"You can't trick me, Sage." She giggles, pointing at your nose.

"C'mon, lets do it!" Lucy Gray chimes in encouragingly as you stand back up. "I'll play for you. All you gotta do is sing."

You roll your eyes playfully, shaking your head again. "No, I-"

"Now, welcome back for her second performance with us, Sage! She's gonna take us over for a minute here. I promise, y'all are in for a real treat." You're interrupted by Maude Ivory making the announcement for you. Internally you cuss, plastering on a nervous smile.

"It's beautiful, you gotta relax." Lucy Gray says in your ear, already adjusting her hold on her guitar. "If I can sing a breakup song to the whole country, you can sing a love song just to the folks in this room. C'mon." She smiles, nodding for you to take the mic as Maude Ivory bows you in.

You'd played this song a bunch back at the Covey's home after Lucy Gray caught you humming the abstract tune of a lullaby your mother used to sing to get you to sleep when you were little. You didn't remember a single word, but the melody was enough for her to recreate and embellish it into one of their songs, to which she insisted you help her write the words for.

Coryo is leaning forward, elbows rested on his knees as he watches you. From what he knew, you weren't much of a singer. The redness evenly spreading across your cheeks and nose in time with the intro music was evidence enough of that.

"Sing for us, sweetheart!" Someone from the crowd calls out, which is matched with whistles that force Coryo to sit up to try and get a look at who the hell is yelling at you. His jaw is seized until he hears your voice echoing through the large room, drawing his gaze back to you on the stage.

"I've taken some hits, so no wonder I'm wary. It's why I need you, you're as pure as the driven snow..." You look over his way only briefly while you sing the first round of the chorus, trying not to let your voice catch from the nervousness still pumping through every inch of your body.

He knows it before you're finished, but the last word, the one you didn't let Maude Ivory get to on the way to the lake, makes his heart flip in his chest. The eye contact he made with you as you said his name was so heavy with everything you've ever wanted to say to one another but never had, and he completely swells with pride knowing that it was about him.

"Cold and clean, swirling over my skin..." The inclination, again, to shout to everyone that you were his girl was immense and overtaking. Just like the first time, but now he knew it for sure. He was positive."You cloak me, You soak right in, down to my heart."

By the time you render the final verse, his whole world has changed."It's why I trust you, you're as pure as the driven snow..."

I'm gonna marry her.

He's up as soon as the song is over, heading for the back of the stage as you take your bow. Your smile is wiped when you look up and he's no longer there, and neither is Sejanus. Worry pools in your insides as you scan the crowd, giving a rushed smile to Lucy Gray and Maude Ivory as you jump down. You hurry to the back of the stage, brow furrowed as you search for Coryo.

By some miracle, he's there. If you're not mistaken, he's got tears in his eyes as he strides up to you quickly, the stage lights leaking past the stage to illuminate him just enough. His pace and his intense expression only worry you more. "Is everything-" You ask frantically, only for your question to be disrupted by his actions.

Coryo takes a deep breath, and then, as soon as you're within reach, he cups your face in his hands and leans in. The world around you seems to fade as his lips meet yours in a passionate, long-awaited kiss.

Time stands still, and in that moment, everything falls into place. The worries that plagued him when he walked in completely dissolved as he felt your hair in between his fingers. When he finally pulls away, a small smile graces his face.

You're both breathing heavily as you stare at each other, and it's then that you realize he wasn't crying due to any kind of upset. He was crying because of you. With a smile so real that you could feel the sun on your back, even late at night in this dim building hundreds of miles from the comfort of your collective home.

"Coryo..." You say, smile fading as you regain perceptions of your real life.

"I know, and I have so much to tell you..." He grins, leaning down to kiss you again.

It was your turn to interrupt, pressing a hand to his chest to stop him in his tracks. Tracks you so desired to follow, wherever they may take you, but right now you had bigger concerns. "No, no it's... where is Sejanus?"

He pauses, and it's like the spell is broken as he straightens his posture, looking around as if Sejanus should be right there. "Uh... shit." He had completely forgotten about his friend as he fell under the trance of your voice, of the song you were singing to him.

You're quickly out from under his arms, walking back around the side of the stage to go look for your friend.

"Coryo-" You stop, and he's right on your heels as you turn back to him, pointing toward the back wall. "Go check the bar. Keep an eye out for Billy Taupe. Obviously. He's probably with him." You instruct and he nods to you quickly before beginning to push his way through all the drunk people in the crowd.

You try and scan the sea of faces, but you don't see Sejanus anywhere. The music the Covey is playing is loud, drowning out any hopes you had of being able to shout for the boy. You could follow Coryo in the search, but that would no doubt just waste time. You groan, pushing your hair back out of your face in frustration. You shouldn't have stopped Coryo from kissing you again, if Sejanus wants to be reckless you should just let him. The two of you already saved his life once, was that not enough for him?

You glance down the deserted hallway to your right, and then your feet are carrying you toward the back room in an instant. You turn the corner and push the sliding door open when you hear shouting coming from the other side. "What the fuck is going on?" You ask, eyes flitting between Sejanus, and the two other boys in the room, alongside a girl who who you vaguely recognize.

"Y/N?" Sejanus asks, turning back to you quickly.

"Y/N..." The girl mutters to herself, rolling the name around in her mind and on her tongue. You can see it in the way she's looking at you. You ignore it, eyes locked on your friend now.

"I told you to not get involved in things you shouldn't, didn't I? Didn't Coryo?" You scold him, gesturing to the door.

"It's not- I didn't know they were going to buy weapons! It's not what I wanted, they told me the money was only for supplies, that no one would get hurt!"

"These are supplies." Billy Taupe's friend, Spruce, replies.

"Why would you trust them!" You spit, pointing vaguely at the other people in the room.

"Listen, Princess-" Billy Taupe starts, a bitter taste to his tone just as the door slides open again. Coryo's frame is blocking your view of the boy in a second, tucking you carefully behind his back.

"Talk to me. Not her." He hisses, and you grab his arm. The feeling of his skin under your palms is comforting, warm, and tense in your grip. "What are you doing, guns, Sejanus?" He turns his attention to your classmate.

"Coriolanus, I didn't know this is what they would do, they lied to me-" Sejanus starts his pleads for help again on a separate set of ears.

Unsurprisingly, his response is almost identical to yours. "You thought they would be honest? What are you doing? There are peacekeepers right outside!"

"That's what I said." You mumble in exasperated agreement "Why did you even give them money at all?" You ask, hoping to get some answers.

"Sejanus wants to run off with these dimwits into the woods up north," Coryo explains to you.

"What?" You ask, shocked, looking past him at the boy you've known for years. The thought of never seeing him again pulls at your heartstrings in a way you're unfamiliar with. "You can't. Absolutely not."

"You're not my Ma, Y/N!" Sejanus spits.

"Wait, I know you." The girl cuts in, pointing at you. "You're that missing girl. From the Capitol. Y/N Y/L/N. My dad got a call about you!"

You freeze up at the accusation, biting your tongue as you look up at Coryo. A memory flashes in your mind, that's why you recognize her. She's the girl who Lucy Gray dropped a snake on in the reaping- the mayor's daughter. "Huh?" You ask, trying to look as confused as possible.

"Don't play dumb, we're past that." She scoffs and you just shake your head.

"Genuinely, don't know what you're talking about." You relax your posture, crossing your arms over your chest.

"Well," She sighs, shrugging sarcastically. "I'll go tell my dad where you are. Your family sure is missin' you..." She starts to take a few steps before the back exit and you clench your jaw at her smug smile. You want to rip the hair out of her head and throw her body in the lake to rot.

"Mayfair, you can't leave." Billy Taupe scolds her, grabbing her arm which she quickly yanks away.

"This is ridiculous and confusing, and you act like I don't see the way you still look at Lucy Gray! Why don't you take her with you instead, huh?"

"She is coming, isn't she?" Spruce asks, seeming just as confused as you in a completely opposite way.

"You were bringing Lucy Gray?!" Mayfair shouts, shaking her head at her (now presumably) ex-boyfriend.

"She said she wanted to come!" Billy Taupe defends and you laugh, shaking your head.

"Okay, so clearly there's some major communication issues in this gang of misfits you've found, Sejanus, so let's just go and leave them to it. It won't benefit you to be stuck in the wilderness with a bunch of starving idiots who will kill each other in a week if they get too lazy to hunt." You plead with him and he shakes his head at you.

"Y/N, wait-" Coryo says, looking back at you only briefly.

"Yeah, Capitol Princess is right. I'm out." Mayfair says, raising her hands in defeat and turning to leave. "You'll all hang for this!"

"This power trip you have about your father being the mayor pales in comparison to what my family has. You'll all be dead by the morning if you say a word." You tell her, voice calm as she freezes, turning to look back at you.

"She's all talk, she won't tell anyone." Billy Taupe tries to defend her from the tensions rising in the room. You were concerned about getting sent home, of course, but if she told about their plans to run, everyone in the room would be executed come the morning light.

"Oh, you think I'm scared of you, Sage? You think I won't tell? Ask Lucy Gray." She's right, Lucy Gray had told you about how this girl was responsible for the reaping being rigged to result in Lucy Gray's death in the games. What they never accounted for was her strength, her intelligence, and her having Coriolanus Snow and Y/N Y/L/N as mentors.

And how Lucy Gray became a victor, known initially to most of the Capitol for her similarities to you. Only, Lucy Gray wasn't bat shit crazy.

Coryo's mind is reeling at the threat made to you as the girl starts to walk away. Within a second, before you can even make a move to tackle her, he's reaching onto the table and grabbing one of the guns. He lines up quickly and squeezes the trigger, letting the bullet fly square into the center of the girl's back. His training had paid off sooner than he thought. Coriolanus wasn't about to have you caught, sent back to a home much worse than that safety hazard at the edge of the Seam where you're currently staying.

"Mayfair!" Billy Taupe is quickly at the girls side, but she's already dead. Sejanus is shaking, and you are fighting back the smile that threatens to form on your lips despite the stress of the moment. "What have you done?" He screams at your friend.

"She was gonna get us all killed!" You defend. "You should be thanking him! Trust me, she was nothing special."

"You've got something comin', Capitol boy." He says, shaking his head as he looks up at the two of you, hatred filling his eyes. "You think you're gonna blame me for this? That you'll never get caught?"

You resist the urge to just shrug, agreeing that no, probably not. Undeniably, your best move would be to blame him. "He was defending all of us, can you not get that through your thick skull?" You settle on, keeping your footing as level as possible as Coryo pulls you back closer to his side again.

"If I swing, for this you will with me!" He screams in anger, back on his feet and moving quickly towards you as Coryo shoves you back behind him, lining up again. He didn't have to shoot, though, because Spruce does. The boy's body flings into the wall to the left of you from the force of the impact, slumping against the floor.

Your heart is pounding as you look between your two friends. "Sejanus, are you alright?" You ask, trying to approach him as Coryo starts shouting orders at Spruce to get rid of the guns.

"Hey, he's fine." Coryo grabs your arm, pulling you close to him to look at you. "I'm gonna handle this. Get back out there and sing, play the violin, just do something, okay?"

You glance back at Sejanus again, who is clearly panicking so bad he looks like he might faint. "No, I'm not leaving you, and Sejanus-"

"Sejanus is fine." Coryo says again sternly, shaking your shoulders now as he looks into your eyes. "Go back out there. I will handle this. I'll find you soon." He promises, gently pushing you in the way of the door. "Go. Now."

You swallow the anxiety sitting uncomfortably in the back of your throat and nod, glancing only briefly at your friends before you leave, closing the door quickly behind you.

taglist: @totallynotkaibiased , @stelleduarte , @klplynn , @secretsicanthideanymore , @bejeweledreverie , @gloryekaterina , @andrewgarfieldsbitch , @queenofspades6 , @pepperonipastas , @ladybug0095 , @lunamothwrites , @sbrewer21 , @mus-tbe-a-weasley , @splxtscreen , @unclecrunkle , @karmaswitch , @coconut-dreamz , @nekee-lilac02 , @ooooglymoooogly , @riddlerloveb0t , @lovedbalances , @notyourwildestdream , @snowlandson-top , @too-lit-for-fanfic , @utopiakys , @deafeningballoonnacho , @roosterschanelslut , @chmpgneprblem , @cosmoetik , , @urvampgfsworld , @carolanns-world @nan-nie , @shakespearseclipse , @iovemoonyy , @notyoursweetheart-honey , @xyzstar , @eatpizzasass, @slytherinholland , @queenofshinigamis , @elodiebeau , @soulessjourney

i've closed my taglist for coryo now!! sorry to everyone who wanted to be added, but unfortunately there was significantly more demand than i expected and i sadly just can't tag everyone. BUT! if you still want notifications when i post for this fic, please turn on my post notifs!!

#tbosas #the ballad of songbirds and snakes #tbosas fic #tbosas x reader #thg series #hunger games #coriolanus x reader #coriolanus snow x reader #coriolanus x you #coriolanus snow #coryo x reader #coryo snow #president snow

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unbotheredalwyn · 1 month

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So obviously after the Joe breakup shit changed we had that ratty twatty and then suddenly travis. Like ratty twatty first of all made it seem like you know this person is like horrible yet you choose to be with him? Everyone called her (rightfully) out I feel like cause he is really a twat of a person and the whole ice spice collab to basically "save" Matty twattys image. I also felt like it was unfair of her fans to force her to break up with him I mean it's her life. And Joe during this time went through so much shit after the break up I remember he was papped and everyone made fun of how skinny he is and how horrible he looks (he had bags under his eyes on the photo) which is actually sad cause he lost his grandmother I think during that time and people were genuinely saying disgusting things and saying mother is looking so much better etc etc while Joe was having a downwards spiral. Again I understand no one knew his depression was that bad but fuck swifties can be more kind.

Exit ratty twatty enter travesty lord this man gives me the ick.

Swifties are blinded by their relationship but he is really not a good dude. I mean that video live of him pushing his coach and yelling? Videos online of him being openly racist, being a trump supporter (and also swifties are dumb they think bc he got vaccinated and bent the knee for black lives matter he is somehow Democrat?) honey trump is vaccinated as well. And just because he supported blm does not make him a good person. He was PAID to do all that performative shit.

I mean she has millions of fans, thousands of young girls thinking the blatant red flags of travesty is hot and shit. Tells me he can push her around too. (not to mention he supported his abusive friend that literally hit his wife.)

And it feels like she's forcing travesty tbh? Like girlie you wanted the art to be about you yet you let some man overshadow it. Because truly that's what's happening like swifties are more into him at this point and the relationship they made up in their head as Taylor.

This is where I got annoyed and took a step back. Each time they were seen Joe got thousands and thousands of hate just for what being introverted?

Then they attacked Emma (Joe's Co worker) for a cheating rumor THEY MADE UP and the shit they said were so genuinely disgusting she had to switch off her comments.

Then Ai audio dropped about Joe abusing Taylor and Ai videos circled making it seem like Joe is a cheater when he is NOT. fuck they even trended a sex scene with that Alison chick he worked with saying he said Alison (her real name) and not her character's name when he DID NOT. It was in the fucking series! This woman got slut shamed so bad she turned off comments too for literally WORKING with Joe. Swifties literally spread shit around that he cheated on Taylor with Emma and Alison when he didn't! And the fucking best of all Taylor was on the set while filming conversations with friends. She most likely saw it IN PERSON and they chose to say all this genuinely disgusting shit about Alison who I've learned is actually a pretty good person.

Here I got genuinely disgusted.

So okay again I understand that Taylor can't control all her fans but her silence while her cult mass harrases people?

Whats insane to me is Joe. Like the guy got so much hate because SHE CHOSE to lead fans on. When she announced ttpd everyone thought the title relates to Joe and Paul mescal

Joe got mass hate

Then the secret songs at eras being about cheating

Joe got death threats

ALL TO BE AN ALBUM ABOUT THE FUCKING SEWER RAT SHE CAN'T GET OVER?!

she literally took ALL the hate against Joe *knowing* she's releasing an album dissing her 6 weeks situationship is genuinely disgusting. I cannot fathom it.

And AND the only thing she could say about Joe is dude did not want to marry her bc he was severely depressed WHICH IS NOT HER PLACE TO TALK ABOUT HIS STRUGGLES?

like I am SORRY this man wants to d word next to her and she just didn't care and wanted to fuck Matty?

Her partner, that got her through her darkest times BTW, did not deserve this.

She let all this mass harrasment just happen to market ttpd. Like genuinely what the actual fuck. 2 innocent women Emma and Alison were attacked and called sluts for genuinely existing and breathing the same air as Joe. And the proof he did not cheat is in her OWN lyrics. (which swifties cannot seem to fucking read bc they'd rather attack Joe than admit this album is about a sewer nazi rat)

The hate Joe got made me cry. The disgusting things they said about him. Swifties literally threatening to bash his head in with a hammer or that he needs to hang himself and they'd enjoy seeing his body swinging from the roof.

Genuinely why would any person say this to anyone at any time?

And they made fun of depression like. What. The. Fuck. Just because Joe might not see it does not mean other people with crippling depression won't.

Oh and a side note she's still bringing up Kim on albums? Not just Kim Kim's CHILD?! leave the kid alone.

Genuinely feel like the most honest Taylor we got was during lover (a time which Joe helped her voice her political opinions and shit) and idk I just feel cheated on?

My whole life I've defended Taylor against everyone and I genuinely feel like she's showing her true colors now being with travesty and ratty and I cannot fathom how this is the same Taylor I'm seeing now as she was like a few years ago.

And it's not just Joe that got death threats BTW. When midnights came out and everyone gave honest reviews cause that evil Jack antonof little gay man ruined the production there were journalists literally getting so much death threats its insane.

Taylor gets (rightfully) called out and fans can't handle it.

She needs to address them ASAP. All these parasocial freaks. The people harrasing Joe. The people literally only seeing Taylor as a breeder for travestys children.

I can't genuinely I can't this is not how I want to feel about Taylor I mean I gave her my youth I looked up to her so much I feel so disappointed in the way she's acting yk?

Yes maybe she can't do jack shit about swifties but she can try.

And her staying quiet over Palestine? Her voice her one post about a ceasefire could change EVERYTHING.

idk at this point I can't stand to be around Taylor.

#anti taylor swift #free joe alwyn #joe alwyn #Swifties dni #anti travis kelce

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vickyvicarious · 1 year

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I like the fact that Jonathan makes a conscious choice to include everything he felt despite the reported guilt and even says that if Mina reads this she won't like it but chooses to tell the truth. And then we see Mina refer to that date a few times, indication that she's been thinking about it, but she never blames him even to herself (in her journal she's open when she's unhappy with him, like when he and the men exclude her). Consequently, when she experiences the same thing, she's honest too (though irl and literature a girl isn't as free to express desire but this was as close as can be), and if she never blamed him she can't blame herself either.

YES. Jonathan's journal is key for so many plot reasons, but this is a lovely, lovely character detail for several reasons. First, as you rightfully point out and I just mentioned in this ask response, it is a lot less socially acceptable for a woman to express desire than for a man to do the same. At all, but especially when it's outside the bonds of marriage. As such it would be really difficult for her to even mention, given that she isn't just writing this down in a journal somewhere but telling it to a room full of men, most of whom she's just met a few days ago. (And right after the attack itself, while the blood is still on her neck/in her mouth!)

However, knowing Jonathan would never cheat on her and yet he felt a desire for the vampire women to kiss him, relieves Mina of the sense of blame for not wanting Dracula to stop. She knew before it happened that this is an effect vampires can have, and has long ago forgiven Jonathan, or rather didn't blame him at all in the first place. Knowing that, she can admit the truth as well. And it's important that she's known for a while too - if Jonathan didn't mention that in his journal, and only brought it up after seeing Mina blame herself for feeling attracted/drawn to Dracula (though he might not even know to tell her, given she probably wouldn't admit to it, but for the sake of argument-)... I feel like Mina may not believe him, or at least find it much harder to take to heart if he suddenly went, "no, no, it's okay, I felt the same way!" She'd be more likely to write it off as him trying to comfort her, than actual commiseration.

So for Mina's mental health and the sake of the comfort Jonathan offered her in the moment, Jonathan being honest about this was important. However, it's also a really great detail for their relationship. Most of the other things Jonathan does in his journal are either good/brave (trying to attack/escape), understandable reactions to his abuse (depression/fatalism), necessary for survival (theft/attack), or a product of the time and not something Mina would necessarily look down on him for (the racism). This detail is something that, while we don't consider it his fault at all, Jonathan clearly felt guilty about. It's also something he could have easily left out in his account while still keep the rest of the story intact. A part of his reason for including it has to be the fact that he is trying to write down every detail as exactly as possible since he's afraid he is losing his mind, yes. But from the beginning to the end, he intends the journal to be for Mina if he can in any way ensure it. And he doesn't let that stop him from relaying the truth even when it makes him look bad (and he knows and comments about it making him look bad, with his "forgive me" line).

Jonathan doesn't want to hide anything from her. When he does, it's with the support of other people and the idea that it's better for her/protecting her and he still obviously struggles with it. He knows it may upset her but he wants her to know what has happened with him, including all that entails. And it speaks to just how open and honest their relationship typically is and how good their communication usually, which I absolutely adore. Similarly, that Mina reads that and immediately decides this is something they did to him and not his fault (as well as when she says she didn't need reassurance his issue was a woman, even if it's nice to hear) speaks to just how rock-solid her faith in him is. The trust Jonathan shows her by honestly admitting to everything in his journal and then entrusting it into her hands, is returned first by Mina keeping it sealed until necessary to help him, and then by her believing and sympathizing with everything she reads within. Even the moments he thinks are failures on his part.

(If you believe in the theory that Jonathan did remember and narrate Dracula feeding on him, and Mina censored that scene for his sake when transcribing his journal, there's another possible element here too. Maybe Jonathan admitted to the exact same feeling about Dracula while being drunk from by Dracula as she later experienced. In which case: (a) protecting Jonathan from seeming attracted to men could be a reason for Mina to remove that section, and (b) it would be even more reassurance for her that this is a vampiric effect. The exact mirror and the increased sample size both being helpful.)

#dracula daily #mina murray #jonathan harker #jonmina #ajatiger #replies

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dulcewrites · 11 months

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Whole different type of delusion that I see in this fandom is how helaemond shippers act. All they say is everyone should support Helaena cheating on her unfaithful husband because if you someone doesn't, it's misogynistic, but when you mention Alicent having sex with Criston in season 2 they are furious and say Alicent is not Rhaenyra to sleep around 😂

For them it's like helaemond makes sense because Helaena was smarter than Rhaenyra so no one knew Aemond's the father.

And then when you point out they behave exactly like daemyra stans they are surprised 😂

I knew Alys will be hated in fandom because of 2 things. By Blacks because she was better Queen at Harrenhall than Rhaenyra was for 6 months time and Alys have no supporters and no dragon and no Aemond by her side because he was dead then. And by Greens because she is the opposite of Alicent and Helaena who are stuck and doomed and living in the cage.

But the one truly doomed is in fact Alys. She is lowborn bastard and women, so she means nothing and can be used by her family as they please. And yet she survives and makes the best out of Dance. All without any political machinations, she just took power over Harrenhall and no one took it away from her. If this isn't the best character of this show I don't know who may be.

I think in general people in this fandom, and this is something I must remind myself as well, need to program their brains to stop relating every single thing that happens to a woman in this story to a man. Especially romantically

It is pretty clear that one major point at the base of hotd is patriarchy and how way men often use the girls/women in their lives as pawns or martyrs. Whether people think it was well done or not is their choice, but it is clearly there. That conversation I get, and think we need to have. But the way people are so hellbent on ‘pairing’ women in this story with someone, specifically men, can get exhausting.

Why is the most horrid thing that happens in the dance, something that fundamentally breaks Helaena as a person turned into an argument to either uplift/tear down Aegon or Aemond?? Why is her taking her own life out of grief and fear about her brother(s)???

Why does Alicent, someone who clearly has been through sexual trauma in her life at the hands of men - someone who already has creepy psychosexual relationships with men in her life, have to sleep with criston?? Hell, why does criston someone that’s been taken advantage of by nobility (depending on how you read that scene in ep 4) have to sleep with Alicent, his queen???

If Helaena wants to be unfaithful to her husband, I will support her bc Aegon is not a good husband lmao. But the idea she needs to be with her brother, and he had those kids with her is… very odd to me. I don’t see it and idc if that makes me a hater. In general, I think people’s insistence on taking one of the few targ characters that doesn’t have incest as a major footnote in his story (Aemond) and making him into someone he isn’t, is annoying.

People (rightfully) point out how horrible targaryen girls/women are treated but then perpetuate the one thing that has led to many targ women’s downfall: The idea that they are property to the men in their family.

As for alys, she was going to be hated on several reasons : 1. Ageism (people call show and book Alicent a hag despite show Alicent being in her 30s and book Alicent being in her 40s). 2. The fact that aemond is now the fandom fanfic bike aka he gets ridden/shipped with everyone and him having a canon love interest pisses people off. 3. Low born or bastard born women get treated very differently by the fanbase than their male counterparts. 4. The murky relationship between her and Aemond. Now as someone who is excited to see where they take alysmond, even I can understand why people may put off by it. First you have the age difference on the side of her taking advantage of him. Especially now that in the show it has been implied Aemond delt with his own s.a. But by the time they meet, Aemond is Prince Regent. Clearly in a position of power over her. It is dubious and it’s ok to point that out.

But I’m sure as hell not gonna be reprimanded by daemrya or helaemond shippers on that. They clearly don’t give a shit about what is above board 💀💀. At at the very least, every alysmond shipper I’ve personally come across is very open and clear about alys and Aemond’s relationship, and the possible stipulations. I can’t say the same for the other two camps.

Every woman in this story, nobility or low born, has been through shit. That’s the whole point and the bitch of patriarchy. It affects every woman to a certain degree. Of course someone like Rhaenyra or Alicent has lived a very different life than Alys, and that needs to pointed out. All women are not on equal playing field. But all of them have been trapped or stuck at one point or another. How these women maneuver this world is important because of how differently each live, which is why it is dumb when people advocate for their stories to be cut (Sara, nettles, alys). These characters being vehemently hated by ANYONE is weird asf to me.

I enjoy team green, I write for team green, but people take this ‘team’ stuff too seriously sometimes. Well.. when it comes to the women. The male characters can get it lmao. I personally don’t like the rhetoric around how most women in story get spoken about. People are so focused on whose winning or shipping that the point of the story gets lost. And frankly regurgitating the same points and arguments sucks the fun out a show…shame. If people hate everything about it or have to make up crazy theories for it to work… just don’t watch 🤷🏽‍♀️🤷🏽‍♀️

#power is not the be end all to end all for women #we see that in the noble women #no matter how much power one acquires they are still a woman #I’m sorry if I seem annoyed it’s not you anon #it’s more this fandom #a fandom overly obsessed with sex and shipping #people just pulling stuff out of thin air for shipping reasons #and idc if this makes sound like a ‘puriteen’ or whatever cringe word a grown ass adult made up to speak on children #idk how to tag this…#anti helaemond #I guess idk #anti daemyra #asks and requests

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chaoticcmesss · 1 year

Text

My mistakes

Izuku Midoriya x y/n

y/n is gender neutral

Warning: angst, OOC Deku, self-doubt, mention of cheating, talking bad of one's self, sadness, a tiny sprinkle of toxic, little bit of gaslighting

Words; 1.7k

part 1 | part 2

*My heart hurts so much while writing this, so I'm sorry in advance* *also my writing sucks a*s and it hasn't been checked at all yet* *i will update when I’ve reread it cause it’s sh*t*

☼this divider was made by me btw☼

I've always wondered what it's like to have someone beg for you to stay in their life. Someone who would do anything just to get you back after a stupid argument.

My whole life I begged for someone to stay by my side so I wouldn't be alone.

I begged my mom to remain yet she left without a care in the world with her new family.

I begged my dad to stay with me yet he didn't even bat an eye towards my direction as he drove off with his mistress, never to be seen or heard from again.

I begged my siblings to stay by my side when my life went downhill, yet they just laughed at me and made sure to never contacted me again only when they need help.

But once I finally found him, the Izuku Midoriya. My life changed for the better with him by my side. He has slowly introduced me to his group of friends, especially his childhood and best friend, Dynamite and Shoto, they are all very nice and have interesting stories to tell. I knew that I now have people in my life that won't ever hurt me. Dynamight and I became very close with one another as we worked on several cases together and to be honest, we make an amazing duo. Same with Shoto, even though he doesn't really show his emotions that often, it's nice to have a logical conscious around.

Izuku and I have been together for 3 years ever since and nothing would ever come between us, or so I thought.

Our relationship slowly started to change for the worse, he would come home, give me a peck on the cheek and go to his office. He wouldn't even stay in the room with me unless it was necessary. He is always cooped up on his laptop doing the reports and important documents even at home. I don't think he realised that there was a sudden change in his moods or the way he’d come home smelling different. Of course, I’d notice the small details. I'd usually message Dynamight or Shoto on how he is during work and to keep me updated if anything happened.

Yes, I know that being a hero is very hard and tiring but so am I, I do as much hero work as him every day and night, and I made sure that I had time to welcome him back home, I made sure he ate and slept even with a hectic schedule.

But I felt like he slowly forgot about me, about us and what we have been through together.

Does he still love me?

Why is he still with me?

Does he have someone else?

Is he cheating on me with Uravity? (I'm sorry to uravity fans- lol I'm not sorry HA!)

I let these thoughts run around in my head as tears run down my face, maybe I’m just overreacting. Yeah. I'm just overreacting.

Looking at the hanging clock I saw that it was 7 pm, he is probably making his way back home. I don't know what to do with myself.

Do I confront him?

Do I just ignore it?

What do I do?

Taking a quick breather I heard the door open with a familiar jingle of keys and a sigh “y/n I'm home” says the man who I can't even recognise anymore.

It's always been a nickname.

“Babe”

“Honey”

“Sweetheart”

“Love”

But it was just “y/n”

What happened to the man I fell in love with?

What happened to the man that I gave my heart to?

What happened to my Izuku that held my face as he proclaimed his love for me?

What happened to MY izuku?

“y/n? Are you okay?” Izuku says as he kneels to catch my gaze as he held my knees.

“y/n?”

I knew something was wrong.

Please. Please, God. Anyone. Anyone who’s listening. I don't want to hurt anymore. Please…

Slowly looking up to meet his gaze, I ask the one question that I know will break me, “are we okay izuku?” as I saw his features go from a warm yet soft look to shock and disbelief.

“What brought this up?” he asked like I'm some kind of idiot.

“Do you still love me like you did when we first got together? Do you even know when our anniversary was? Do you even remember your s/o? Do you still love me?” looking down at my lap, whispering all the questions eating me alive, wanting to find the answers I wanted to hear from him yet. Nothing. Nothing but silence from him.

“Izuku, please. I don't want to stay in this relationship when it's clear to me that you don't. I don't want- I don't want to be at home watching the news on how you and another hero would look good together, I don't want to be at home while watching you realise that you've fallen in love with someone else, I don’t want to be at home while you forget about me and everything we’ve been through. So please Midorya. Tell me what's happening so we can either fix what's left of us or I let you go”

I knew what his answer would be. All these years being together, I knew him like the back of my hand. I knew this silence all too well.

Izu- no its Midoriya now. It always had been Midoriya, never Izuku. Never my Izuku.

I pull out my phone and text Tsuki to come to get me from Midorya’s place.

“God fucking damnit, I-” standing from my seat to walk over to our bedroom to pack I felt him wrap his arms around my waist as he buried his face into my stomach, feeling the tears soak through my shirt.

“I'm sorry babe, please don't go. Please stay. Please. She was just a fling nothing else! Please stay with me. I need you” he begged me to stay, and he finally begged me to stay. But for what? For him? For us? What's left of us?

If I didn't know better, I would've agreed with him and stayed but now, things are different. This wasn't the man I wanted to have a future with. This wasn’t the man who I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. Not anymore. All I see in front of me was a man that I don't recognise, a man who I was in a relationship with who was no longer the man I fell in love with, all I see is a lying, cheating man who broke my heart, stringing me along until he encounters “someone else”. Someone “better”

The man that I gave my heart to, so long ago was replaced with a man who didn't care for me at all, a man who would leave me all broken with nothing but a shattered heart.

I deserve to be happy, I deserve all the good things in life and make sure he goes through the same pain I went through.

I knew the longer I stayed in this apartment the faster I want to leave.

I removed his arms around me and sped walked to the bedroom locking the door and packing as much as I could fit in my suitcase.

I knew that there was no us, there was no more love in this relationship.

I unlocked the door to see him on the couch, covering his eyes as tears descended from them.

“Go be with Uravity, since you've always gone to her behind my back Midoriya” stating that I knew he had been cheating on me with her, yes I'm sad about being cheated on but at least I made it to the top 5 heroes without sleeping with the judges.

Hearing knocking on the door I knew it was Tsuki so I hurriedly rush towards the door to open it. Turning back to face Midoriya “You might want to get tested for any STDs considering that your side piece sleeps with a LOT of people. OH and I’ll grab my stuff on Thursday” Tsuki grabs my suitcase for me and wraps his arm around me, like a comfortable, muscular shield as we leave this dreaded apartment. Once we left the apartment, all the tears I'd held back rushed to the surface as I sat down in Tsuki's car, weeping my heart out for the love that I had lost, in his arms keeping me from any danger. My heart hurts so much. Knowing that I was easily replaced.

Katsuki’s POV:

My heart hurts for them, but I knew how this all felt. Watching the love of your life fall in love with someone else who doesn't deserve them at all and watching them get broken hurts so fuckin’ much.

I didn't care how many people were watching us in the car park, all I wanted to do was hold them in my arms and keep them protected from anything that could potentially harm them.

“Let's go home idiot” releasing them from my arms as I secure their seatbelt and put mine on, we headed out to my apartment where they’ll stay for however long it'll take for them to heal even if it takes years. I’ll always be by their side.

“Thank you, Katsu” they whispers to me as they slowly drifted off to sleep

“You’re welcome… dumbass… my dumbass. I’ve waited 3 fuckin’ years for you, I guess I can wait for a couple more” I mumbled looking back to them knowing that they won’t hear me.

Third’s POV:

But little does Katsuki know, y/n heard what he said and couldn’t believe that all this time. Katsuki fuckin’ Bakugou was in love with them. But decided it wasn't the right time or day to say anything after the whole Midorya situation. I guess time will tell when both Katuski and Y/n realise their true feeling.

-Meanwhile-

Midoriya sat in his apartment, thinking of ways to get his precious y/n back into his arms. Knowing that if they don’t come back. He’ll just force his way to get y/n back in any possible way.

The end?

#katsuki bakugo mha #mha bakugou #mha deku #bnha deku #deku x you #angst #deku angst #deku and kacchan #kacchan #izuku x reader #izuku angst #deku midoriya #ew yuck #i hate it #oh well #villan deku #beginning of villan deku

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hydesjackiespuddinpop · 2 days

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You mentioned somewhere that Donna is annoying you lately, so I'd love to know what you'd most want to change about how the character was written (and/or acted). Based on how she's described, I expected to adore Donna. In theory, Donna should be one of my favorite characters of all time, but in reality I range from being just "she's fine" to outright dislike (mostly past season 2!) It's so disappointing because I wanted so much to love her and to buy into her and Eric as an iconic couple, but I ended up hoping Eric would find someone else.

Yes! I mentioned it here.

Gonna put this under read more just in case.

When it comes to Donna, my issue is when it comes to her relationship with Eric. Both of them are flawed and make mistakes, but the difference is that Eric is always called out in canon and always held accountable, even for shit that isn't even his fault.

Whereas Donna almost never got that luxury. In season 1-2, I have no issue with how she's written, aside from the fact that her sisters were retconned. But after that, it's so much worse.

In "Eric's Panties", I can't get over how trusting Donna was of Eric until Jackie stuck her nose in. But my main issue is Donna's reaction. Like why is she even listening to Jackie in the first place? The only relationship she ever had was with a guy who cheated on her several times and would constantly pressure her into sex. She's not exactly the relationship expert. Even Hyde was defending Eric, and Donna still humiliated Eric and Shelly. And didn't even apologize! There's also the adding fact that even she believes Eric was lucky enough to be with her and boy did it show.

And then there was "The Backstage Pass" where Donna ditches Eric and doesn't even TELL him she's going to meet with Ted Nugent. Not only that, but she somehow believes that trust and honest communication only applies when two people are married? Then there's the cherry on top where she says she isn't sorry. Like wtf. If I were Eric, I would've broken up with her right there.

Don't even get me started on season 4. But my issue isn't even how Donna acted because I get it. I actually think in terms of writing, that's one of her strongest seasons. But it's the fact Eric is just Donna's doormat and he just...takes it. Aside from "Bye Bye Basement", Eric literally never claps back. She has so many more opportunities whereas Eric is the "loser".

In season 5, she seems fine from what I've seen sans her initial reaction to JH, but their attitudes about her relationship with Eric are no better and this goes on for seasons on seasons, so I'm not as mad.

Then there's season 6, where she gets mad at Eric for having fun with Jackie. Like Donna has a right to be upset that he tried to get out of it with her, but shouldn't she be happy that he did end up having a good time? Yet she's upset that her plan to make Eric miserable backfired and somehow he has to be the one to run after her. Her being like 'ugh' is a human reaction, but idk. They just should not have rushed the wedding and should've had a long engagement.

Also her saying they shouldn't have sex before their wedding because it would make it "less magical" is weird. I get what she's saying, like having a clean break. But like them not having sex for a bit and then doing it after marriage doesn't really do anything if you look at it from a logical standpoint.

Then there was her reaction to Eric dating Chloe while they were broken up and she was dating Casey. Like accusing him of cheating and somehow the mere possibility of them having being revolting?? Don't even get me started on her slut shaming Chloe. I've noticed this habit of her (and Jackie) slut shaming every woman they hate. And it can't be a coincidence that all the women Donna shamed are blonde (a pattern I noticed is that it's mostly blondes getting put down) but anyways.

I'm also very disappointed in her season 7 arc, with her and Eric stuck in this going nowhere fuck buddy relationship. Idc what anyone says, they were NOT dating this season. They called themselves 'bf/gf', yet didn't do ANY of the things people do in relationships. And then there was her reaction to Eric going to Africa. Which, her being upset makes sense. Her boyfriend is going to be on another continent. But her and Kitty teaming up to stop him from going is so selfish.

Donna herself even mentioned maybe wanting to travel, but when Eric does it, she's mad? And her being upset he "didn't include" her is ridiculous given that she walked out before Eric could even do so.

Also the fact that she, herself, post s2, seemed to believe Eric was lucky to be with her. Guess everyone's bs got to her head. And Red's bs advice got to Eric's head in s2 and so did everyone's comments after that. Even his own brother believed that Eric was lucky to be with Donna. It's so disappointing and he deserved better.

#answered #exactlydelicateflower #that 70s show #that '70s show #my meta #t7s meta #anti donna pinciotti #i'm not but it's so hard to love her #I still am on the belief that the idea that the whole 'donna is a bad friend to Jackie' is absolute bs #but yeah

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myimaginarywonderland · 1 year

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I know people complain about the Queerbaiting done with Buddie which is completely fair but can we also talk about the horrible treatment that the openly queer characters get in 911, not only from the show but especially the fans.

Let's start with Hen. We learn from the beginning that she is married and probably has a son, so she has been in a committed relationship for at least 4 years and probably has been broken up with her ex for a minimum of 6 years. And then, in such a committed relationship where she should know how awful the consequences of cheating can be because of her son, we still see her cheat and even season later defend her ex girlfriend. Not only that but we also see her finally get an individual storyline with her med school decision and yet, there's barely any mention let alone showing of that later one and we only go back to showing the trouble in her year-long marriage.

Then we have Karen, someone who has been a side character,one of the most important ones, but is never given any scene that doesn't resolve around her marriage. We have never seen her at work, let alone learned anything about her life outside of who she is in the relationship. We don't know anything really about how she meet Karen or how they adopted Denny. We barely get hints.

Then we have Josh, my probably second favourite character. Let me just start of by saying that while he a gay stereotype, I truly do not understand how so many fans believe that people like him don't exist. I know from own experience that quiet often certain stereotypes might apply and that sometimes people truly seem like a walking stereotype until you get to know them better which is exactly what 911 did with Josh until season 5. We saw the typical gay best friend but then we not only saw him have relationships outside that, we also saw glimpses of his journey, the struggles gay man can face etc. We saw him grow, overcome his traumatic experiences, truly take on the burden of his job, we learned about a small part of his journey, we were finally getting attention to a side character again. We have always had a bigger focus on the dispatchers and I truly believed that with Maddie gone we would finally get more from him and the dispatchers because they are such an essential part! But no.

Just like with the other two characters his story just sort of stopped. Yes we still saw him being the leader of dispatch. But they regressed his character to give another character, May, a better storyline which I hate.

Let me start of by saying that no other character would receive the hate Josh did in season 5. Why? Good question. We have seen Bobby call out others of the fire fam even in rude manners and it was never talked down the way it was for Josh.

Josh rightfully called out Eddie about taking on a responsibility that wasn't his to take on. If we had seen Eddie talk to Linda or even Josh to give the information, nothing would be wrong with that. The problem was Eddie allowed himself to take over the dispatcher position which he isn't allowed. He wasn't trained. He had no qualifications or right to make that call.

What happened with May and Claudette would have been such an amazing opportunity to show how even a leader can sometimes miss something, can sometimes brush something off that is more severe. But yet, we never saw anything about that. Josh acted the way towards May he did that time because he did not see the extent. As far as we know he saw only what happened on the first day back where tension with a new worker might always be higher. Until May's outburst we never had any actual conformation that Josh witnessed the horrible treatment May received which honestly probably was the case. People forget that he had to run that center until Sue came back which probably meant he was way less on the floor that he was previously and therefore didn't see what maybe other like Linda could. And considering May never reached out to anyone after that, you can not blame Josh for taking no action when to him there wasn't a cause to.

Which brings me back to my biggest problem I have with the treatment of all the official queer character. Wasted potential.

There is so much but especially when it comes to the queer characters of 911.

We had the potential to see Hen struggle with medical school, we saw glimpse of her connecting with the fellow students and then nothing. We had the potential to see Hen and Karen actually address their problems but yet that cheating storyline was just kind of brushed off. We had the potential to see Karen struggle with a new job, during the pandemic but nothing. We had the potential to see a women struggle with the hostile engineering field eventhough she has so much experience and yet nothing. We had the potential that was teased by showing us Karen and Hen reconnect with Nias mom and yet that storyline was never followed up. We never saw any real look into their family that didn't involved relationship problems or concerned something at the 118.

With Josh this is even worse.

We know he was Maddies best friend and probably one of the most important people in here life yet we never once saw how he dealt with her just running away and essentially also leaving him behind.

We were told and shown that the Buckley-Hans were close to Josh (the poker scene and the mention of their group chat) yet we never got any scene of Buck or Chimney taking to Josh after Maddie left. Hell, we never were shown anything of their friendship after Maddie got pregnant really but especially then they all had to be close right?

We were even teased with Buck/Josh for a bit. Not only were they shown flirting but we specifically were shown that Buck was comfortable with dating a guy and that both were clearly to a degree comfortable with being matched.

Not to mention the fact that we could have had a great storyline with Eddie and Josh but nothing happened.

Or the storyline that was May's and Josh bond that only appeared every 6th episode.

There is so much wasted potential with the already queer characters that it just underlines the issue of Buddie being queerbaited even more.

#anti 911 fox #9-1-1 fox #josh russo #hen wilson #karen wilson

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theirstcry · 2 years

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🏘️ guess who i just saw at SWEET TOOTH BAKERY? IMANI JONES! don’t they look good for 42 years old? they have lived here for ALL THEIR LIFE and ARE a NURSE. they view the increase in tourism as NEGATIVE 🏘️

tw: car accident, injury, scar, depression, abortion mention, pregnancy, loss of pregnancy

STATISTICS

First Name: Imani

Middle Name: Simone

Last Name: Jones

Age: 42

Birth Date: 1/3/1980 | January 3rd, 1980

Zodiac Sign: capricorn

Gender: cis female

Pronouns: she/her

Sexual Orientation: bisexual

Romantic Orientation: biromantic

Marital Status: married

Ethnicity: African American

Nationality: American

Religious Identity: agnostic

Positive Trait: hardworking, adventurous, enthusiastic

Negative Trait: resentful, opinionated, stubborn

BIO / SUMMARY

Imani knew from a young age that she wanted to be child-free, but one can argue that reason was due to her being forced to watch her younger siblings. Both of her parents worked long hours, one is a doctor and the other is a lawyer. They both had the money to hire a babysitter, but according to them that would be a waste of money. Why hire someone when they can have their oldest daughter do it. They try to frame it as a great bonding experience for her. However, to Imani, she hated it. She loves her siblings and she loves spending time with them. But she didn’t want to be responsible for them. She wanted her own life, to do her own things. This cause a drift between her and her parents and resentment towards her siblings.

Her relationship with everyone was rocky, but as she got older and moved out it approved. Her relationship with her siblings was better. With her parents, well it was okay. She realized her resentment should go to them, and not her siblings. She learned to move passed it but she does have her moments of being bitter that her parents never acknowledge their wrong doing or apologized.

Imani went to school to be a nurse, it was not what her parents wanted. Maybe that's why she went into it at first, but she learned that she actually like what she was studying. Being a nurse was enough for her. She didn’t want to become a doctor and live under her mother’s shadow, nor did she want to become and lawyer and live under her father’s shadow. Though being a nurse won’t exactly allow her to escape any type of comments about her mother. Nor, how people will comment on her becoming a nurse instead of following in her mother’s shoes. But she was able to block that out. It’s easier blocking out comments about what career choice she should’ve made than comments about her abilities/skill being weaker than her mothers.

The comments lessened once she got married to her best friend, the name changed allowed her to escape the same old comments from new, or other, co-workers who have not yet learned who her mother was. Soon, the comments completely stopped when applied and became a traveling nurse. Her husband decided to quite and pursue writing and she wanted to support his new career path. So she applied to a new positioned that allowed her to get more money and to travel around. It almost felt like her life was perfect. She got to go to new places for extended period of time and make more money. Her husband came along, which allowed him to find muse in the new place they end going to due to her job. They got to explore new areas and make new friends. And when she went to the next destination, they do it all over again. Explore their new surrounding, makes friends, and her husband find more muse.

After her husband ended up published several novels and created a big following from his traveling blog, things started to slow down. It was not their plan, but they decided to slow things down when she learned she was pregnant. It threw them for a loop. Especially since her husband had a vasectomy. While he didn’t accuse her of cheating, and she was thankful for that, she knew the thought must have come up. But she was quick to say she will get a paternity test because she knew for a fact that this was his baby. After the test came back, they both took time to think about if this was something they wanted or if they wanted to go through with aborting the pregnancy. Yes, Imani always believed she was child-free. But the idea of having a baby with her husband was not as terrifying. She knew who he is and he would be if they were to have kids. She knew he would help her and that she wouldn’t be doing this all alone. So they decided that they were going to keep the baby.

With that in mind, Imani knew that they will have to go back home - meaning her time as a traveling nurse was over. It was time for them to go home and get ready for this new chapter in their life. She never thought she would be excited for this, and honestly - she was worried. With the age she was, there was a possibility of of complications with the pregnancy. While she loved the experienced they built together, there was a part of that wish they realized they wanted this at a younger age. However, she wanted to stay optimistic. Everything in her life was going so well, of course this had to work out. But, unfortunately for her, it did not work out. On the drive home from work one night she got into a horrible accident - one that her husband wasn’t even sure she was going to make. Fortunately for her, she did. But she lost many things in the process. She got a burn scar on her back, her left leg was amputated, and lost her pregnancy.

Imani always felt like she was a strong person who could get through anything, but this. This was something she never imagined happening. Even over a year of all of this happening, she still struggles to grasp her new reality. Who she is now is completely different from who she was before. She felt like a part of her died that day. She’s a shell of a person that has so much anger built up inside. She has resentment toward the driver that has done this to her. The only thing that she is doing is slowly pushing her husband away. As much as she wants to let him in, she’s afraid that he can’t accept the person she was forced to become. She just has negative thoughts in her head. She’s convinced that he’s only staying to seem like a good husband - but in reality he really wants to leave. She knows its a horrible thought to have. She’s been having a lot of irrational thoughts, ones that make her feel guilty for having. But the main one is, if she can’t accept her own body now, how can he? She wants to get better, she wants to be like the people she sees online that are confident with themselves after having scars or injuries from an accident. But she just finds herself stuck in her own depression, relying on her anger as some form of comfort as she pushes her husband away.

EXTRA

Subplot: the day i (didn’t) lose you - MUSE AJ

#fortyintro #♥ 》 about. ( imani )#tw: car accident #tw: injury #tw: scar #tw: depression #tw: abortion meniton #tw: pregnancy #tw: loss of pregancy

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the-jam-to-the-unicorn · 4 months

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Well, i recently read through some old Ze interviews and i’m sorry but he honestly does seem like a bad father and a bad husband. He was always telling that he is always busy and doesn’t have time for his kids but proceeds to do nothing with it. I mean i get that he is a workaholic but try to participate in your childrens life a little? It clear that Olena always did almost all the work. Also, in interviews from 2010s he made some comments in interviews that rubbed me in a wrong way. Like, when he answered a question if the cheating rumor are true his response was «Well, i can’t say that i’m very romantic and never looked on other women but i have a wife and i don’t have time on anything other than work» Like??? And if i remember correctly it’s not the only time remark he said something like this. And i honestly don’t get where all the «good father and husband» came from and why Olena is still with him after all that(+ running for president while Olena and his daughter were clearly against it)

And if this is your impression, anon - it's totally fine. 🤗

Mine is different, also based on what Ze (and Olena) said about him as father and husband throughout the years. Was he a perfect father and husband? Certainly not. He made mistakes and he could have handled things better (which he admits here and there) but overall I think he is a loving father who's kids mean the world to him and who cherishs and deeply loves his wife and knows he got the best one.

At the end of the day he values and loves what he always wanted - a life with Olena and kids with her.

Just some comments (put under a cut because loooots of text): Yes, he is a workaholic. Something Olena was very much aware of from the moment they met (and she recognized again and again over the years). He never made a secret about that. And yes, he travelled a lot in younger years and worked a lot. So did Olena. She worked for Kvartal and wrote for other groups and finished university. She travelled with them whenever she could. She easily could have stayed home as mother, yet she worked for Kvartal. She even continued working for Kvartal when she started to work full time as First Lady. Olena is as much of an workaholic as he is. Maybe in a different way. But her current schedule and numbers of projects alone show that. Or the fact she graduaded with honors. Was one of the best in her class during school. Handled running a company, having a family, being a present mom, full time scriptwriter for several shows and later groups AND being a loving and supportive wife at the same time.

Both of them are obviously hardworking people who love what they do. To a point where Olena even hired a nanny for her kids or relied on her parents' help so she could return to her work because she missed it. Don't see anyone complaining about that (which is a good thing - mom shaming sucks). And yes, Olena mostly handled the parenting since Ze was working and gone from time to time. But both of them emphasized over the years how important family still is Ze (and both of them). How they would travel with Ze whenever possible. How they would great importance on a normal family life whenever he was home (playing together, family dinners, talking with each other, ...). And Ze made sure he was there for all of his kids' important moments. He did participate in his kids' lifes. It's not like he never was home and they only saw him maybe twice a year or something like that.

And Olena was obviously fine with this, with him as workaholic. Was it easy? As someone who also has a long distance relationship from time to time because the partner is a workaholic - nope. It's not easy. It sometimes even sucks.

But you don't stay in a relationship with a person, let alone marry that person and start a family, if that's an issue. And speaking of Olena: Ze mentioned so many times that he terribly misses Olena whenever he is gone and she isn't at his side. There are stories about him calling her every day or writing her letters or not being able to (properly) sleep without her. He renovated the flat in Kyiv alone to start their life together, because Olena was pregnant and besides him already working. He travelled back and forth between Kyiv and Kriyvih Rih, for hours, to be with her as much as possible until they finally could move into the flat. ...

Olena probably could have demanded of him to change more, change himself and stay more in Kyiv / Ukraine. But Ze is a workaholic who loves what he does and needs his creative work. And do you really want to demand a personality change from a person you love when you can arrange yourself with the current situation? Maybe even being okay with it? (And Ze did say, yes, he didn't change much about it during Sasha; but he also later said he regrets being away so much and tried to change this when Kyrylo was born and to be more with his family - if he really did manage to change something is probably something only Olena can judge).

In the end, and that's what Olena also says in interviews, she fell in love with him because he his who he is. All the things that made the relationship sometimes probably not the easiest where also in the end character traits she loves.

And that he is a good father / husband is something that's based on statements by Olena and friends / Kvartal. And surely also partly based on what the impression is.

Btw, sure it's clear that Olena did a lot of the parenting. That's also something Ze said multiple times (and Olena). He also said she runs the house (which is something he was fine with). He never pretended he is THE parent in the relationship - nope, that's olena. (Side note: maybe she was also very much okay with that?! Olena said she always wanted to have kids and loves them to death so maybe she was totally fine with being so much mother?!) Of course we now can say "Well, she had no other choice". But come on. Yes, she had. Olena is not some 1950s little girl who would never dare to complain or say a word against her husband. If something doesn't sit right with her, she says it. They talk, they discuss, they fight. Like any other couple. And obvisiouly find a solution for a problem that works for both of them.

Of course he mocks the cheating rumours. Because they were so ridicolous and not true. And in the end - he was a good-looking celeb with a wife in the background. So the perfect target. And the boulevard press is the boulevard press. The moment he talked with a woman they accussed him of having cheating. I mean, for yeeeears there were rumours about him and Lenny, no matter what they or someone else from Kvartal said. The boulevard press even lied about stuff to portray him as cheater. So kind of understandably this got on his nerves at some point and he didn't bother to answer the rumours because the press wouldn't care. I mean, they published some reeeeeally distasteful stuff (to give a very recent example) like claiming Olena had tried to commit suicide because Ze was cheating on her with Mendel and that was the real reason she was in the hospital and not Covid. Or during his "Dancing with the Stars" period the rumours also got very much out of hand. And so on.

Side note, about the romantic part: Funnily so statements about that change. We have Olena claiming she is also not a romantic while Ze at the same time saying she can really romantic. And she wants him to be more romantic while Olena is saying he already can be very romantic and also very sentimental like crying during romcoms or making her gifts out of the nowhere because, according to Ze, she already gave him the best "gifts" (the kids) and both of them organizing trips for the other person or weekends together ... . I mean, honestly, I wouldn't read too much into such comments. That's literally most couple relationships. One is always "complaining" that the other one could be more romantic while already being romantic and so on. And after almost 30 years together and two kids you are not like teenage lovebirds.

(Additional side note: And based on what they say about each other or what we saw ... they can be obviously quiet romantic about and with each other.)

But yes, I agree with you anon, that the whole presidency thing was a shit move by him. (We all probably agree.) That, according to both of them and especially Olena, also caused some problems and wasn't easily forgiven. He fucked up big time and knows this. They obviously sorted that problem out and Sasha also forgave her dad.

Another thing I would agree on, that some earlier statements do not sit well. We could debate if it was just wrongly worded or it was what he really meant. But yeah. Some statements are questionable at best and hair-raising at the worst. But we talk about a minority between the majority of loving and respectful and no problematic statements. And while that's not an excuse - it's an explanation: we shouldn't forget in which time with which family picture in which culture and geographic region and ... he grew up. And he also changed over the years, including his views. Like Olena. (and just a little thing: if we critize Ze, we also should critize Olena and some of the things she said; she wrote for the Kvartal programs and shows which means some questionable jokes, numbers and sentences are most likely also written by her or she was okay with them)

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imarawbu · 7 months

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My job is safe for the time being. As I heard from my boss yesterday.

Things have started to go back to normal now. I'm not having constant flashbacks as much. Still my husband complains on how embarrassing my weight is and that I'm so lazy- yet somehow I hold a full time job, take care of a baby with minimal help, do all the cooking, and the house is spotless...

He says the stuff he says to me, the insults and what not are to "motivate" me because it's so shame ldull to be married to someone as far as me. Even when we were in his home town earlier in the year his family was so upset at it they stood him I needed to do so some work or something to lose weight. And that I'm not longer attractive to him, how could I have just decided to eat whatever and gain so much weight and then why do I constantly justify the weight gain.

Looking back and remembering how my ex saw me and how his family saw me. Seeing how another woman who befriended me shortly after my divorce, who's son I was interested in, how she described me when she told me to never tell him about my interest. Even my husband has described me this way. That I'm different and unique from other girls- said in a way that it seems to be a good thing but in reality it is not.

It usually meant I was not deep into things that girls are usually heavily into makeup, skin care, buying lots of clothes, hair, spa stuff etc. I am very intelligent and knowledgeable as I've taught myself a lot about a multitude of topics, I learn very fast and this is apparently intimidating or annoying to some people. I am and do go to great lengths than make great sacrifices well above and beyond most people do for people they care about. I also rarely get angry with people and am a little too understanding and nice. Lots of people like to abuse theses traits. This "different" probably also includes social awkwardness or social anxiety and maybe the severe mental health issues I've had until recently.

This difference seems to be why people underestimate me and their first impressions of me are of a weak for bad person.

At the beginning of the relationship with my ex, he saw himself as just helping me get out of a bad home, or at least that's how he characterized it to the woman he was trying to cheat on me with maybe a week after he insisted we get married. My ex mother-in-law justifying to her other kids and her other family that I was not bad or worse than her own son. Underestimating me: the woman I mentioned above who befriended me, she did not think I was capable of handling getting remarried or taking care of a family (because I didn't know how to cook and my mental health was so bad at that time.) She was shocked that I can do everything and more and better than most when it comes to being a house wife apparently as well. She is the one who told her daughter in law she preferred my cooking over hers- and her son decided to tell my husband this for whatever reason. My husband knew of my interest in her son before I met him and sees this as hilarious since they passed me over and did not even see me as worth considering.

My parents who knew I was smart but never used it, always told me I wouldn't amount to anything, told me I had no ambition to do anything with my life, always shut down any desires or dreams for what I wanted to do for my future, and they always told me they wouldn't be supporting me until I was 30. I ran away from home at 19 and came back for about a year after I got divorced and have not been back in their care since. And of course, my husband who always underestimates me on everything. To him he sees me as totally lazy, wants to sleep and watch TV all day and never work (which actually describes him better than me since that's what he does all day). He's always been constantly surprised I managed to finish my associates degree in a pretty complex field, that I did DoorDash for awhile, that I got an Internship, worked, learned to cook after getting married and am almost a better cook than his mother (Indian food is very difficult and time consuming to make), take care of a baby, etc.

This is something I've dealt with most of my life from many people, these are just the greatest examples of this to me.

My husband likes that I'm so different, he uses this as a reason to push me as much as he can to be understanding, tells me about how bad his friends wives are and how demanding they are for money and having money spent on them and why he likes that I am not like this about me. It's also probably why he treats me the way he does and knows he will get away with it.

It's sad to know people have always and will always see me this way.

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narnianwitch · 1 year

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Hi, I saw you reblog a post recently about Daisy Jones & the Six and I wanna say I love the show as well as the book but there were so many differences between them that disappointed me. Anyway, do you think Billy and Camila will get divorced in the last two episodes? I’ve noticed that in the interviews, Camila has her maiden name Alvarez instead of Billy’s last name. Also, in the show she seems threatened by Daisy and says that if Billy loves her then that is when this ends. And we know that Billy has been a bad husband to Camila in the past as he cheated on her and in the show he does end up kissing Daisy. I know this may be messed up but I hope Billy and Camila won’t get divorced and that they’ll be endgame. I want the last two episodes to show that their marriage gets better and Billy learns to be a much better husband and father. This seems to be happening in episode 8 of the series as there’s several cute scenes between them and she’s even telling him about her day when they’re in a hotel room. And I shipped them so hard when I was reading the book as Billy did try to be a good husband to Camila after he got sober. And as I’ve mentioned, the series already had so many changes from the book and I want the last two episodes to pretty much follow the book. That would mean Billy and Camila would stay together and their marriage improves since that happened in the book.

Hiiii, anon ! Hope you're doing well !

Soooo, I gotta admit, I haven't read the book yet but I kinda know the ending concerning Camila (which makes me very sad for the finale tbh if it happens the same way). I've seen some posts concerning the differences about the show and the book, I can totally understand the disappointment. When you read a book, you picture everything, not only the characters themselves, but the way a scene is gonna go, every little detail, even a background music sometimes. Anyway, back to your question !

Honestly, I have no idea about these two. I think they want to keep us guessing while using Alvarez for Camila, and I don't remember if she's wearing a wedding ring in the interview but they have a lot of issues tbh. We know that Billy clearly loves her, they have a good life together, she seems to be his peace despite his faults (cheating on her and not being there for her for exemple). He describes Daisy as a temptation, it almost puts her in the same status as drugs and alcohol for him, which is... kinda bad tbh? I get the appeal about Daisy and Billy, I really really do, their chemistry is off the charts and we all love a good drama sometimes but at the same time, it doesn't seem healthy at all. They both cope dangerously when something bothers them, and personally, I think that Daisy doesn't need Billy in her life because Billy is not there for her either. I get Billy's struggles, and he lives for the music as always, but he seems mainly lost because of all the temptations around him and clings to Camila and their daughter. Like I mentioned earlier, Camila seems to be his peace but Daisy is... something that angers him and calms him as the same time. He needs more, always, although he pretends otherwise, just like his past addictions, which is why he compares her to a temptation I think. Right now, Billy needs someone like Camila in his life, they have a good thing going on, and Daisy needs a life of her own, a life outside Billy and the temptation he also is for her. She needs to figure out what she wants for herself, to truly live for herself and not for other people. She desperately needs to be loved and to be needed, but she can't have Billy the way Camila has him in her life, she can't have Billy the way she truly needs him. The timing isn't right from the beginning and that makes it mostly tragic.

At the end of ep 8, Billy seemed terrified at the idea of losing Daisy, which complicates things even further. He loves both of them because they represent two sides of him, two sides he needs in his life but you can't have it all, and at the time of show, it definitely isn't the right time for Billy and Daisy, that's probably why they do find each other much later in life in the book from what I understood. I do think that Billy and Camila will stay together, and the book ending will probably happen, maybe differently. I don't know what they have planned for Camila and Eddie, she carries her secret with her with a lot of guilt, even though she knows that her husband also loves another woman, but she loves Billy, she loves their life, he's it for her. Like she said, you don't stop loving someone when things get hard, and she's right. So yeah, I do think that they're gonna stay together and Billy will be the one to decide that for Camila and himself. Maybe I'm gonna be wrong, we're gonna find out in a few days! But yeah, for me, it's all about the timing and at the moment, the timing is right for Billy and Camila.

#ask #anonymous #so many words to say pretty much nothing lmao but thank you for your question anon !!!

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sor-vette · 3 years

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#9.5 Jimin's History of Having Bad Birthdays

“It’s a refurbished student housing,” you explain as they trail after you like ducks in a row. Even if they don’t understand what you’re saying, they seem to be clinging to every word. Wherever you look there’s always at least one pair of doe eyes staring expectantly back at you a.k.a. what do you do when you open your doors and find a certain retired boyband for some reason wants to move in

▶ type: ot7 x fem! reader (poly)

▶ word count: 2.8k

▶ t/w: toxic masculinity, internalized homophobia, implied eating disorder, throwing up, anger issues, mention of sex, implied cheating, brief mention of Covid, a whole new layer of angst

▶ series’ masterlist

▶ other works

▶ a/n: this is the third FOURTH SEVENTH time trying to post this and I'm already there in wanting to throw eggs at the staffs building. Sorry for not adding read more but I have to edit on the app now because of error on laptop and there's no option to do that here :( Despite everything though, this is my personal favourite chapter yet, don't know why though

Jimin was four when it happened. The Curse.

...

Okay, so he might be embellishing a little bit but he was four and back then losing a friend felt like an entire world crashing around. His friend - a fellow four-year-old, named Sung-Ho - had to move because his father found a better job. They had put up an apocalyptical tantrum. Jimin particularly was inconsolable… up until two hours later when he was given a new toy. Though they both promised each other to write there were several things to consider:

- They were four

- It was the late 90's

- They didn't know how to write

Still, as Jimin grew older and Sung-Ho's face became but a vague memory documented in a few, faded childhood photos, he still reckons that this was when the tradition of having bad birthdays began.

On his 5th birthday, he hit his head and had to spend the day in the hospital.

On his 6th birthday, no one from school would come to his birthday party even though Jimin handed out quite a few handmade invitation cards. At least, he didn't have to share the cake that his mother had spent hours making.

On his 7th birthday, he got beat up. Whether for looking a certain way or behaving a certain way, didn't really matter, not to the bullies at least. Jimin though hated his body, too weak to protect himself.

On his 8th birthday, the bike that his father bought got caught up in a car crash and was destroyed. His father was alright and after the frightening sight of his mother becoming deathly pale when hearing the news, he didn't care much for the lost present.

On his 14th birthday after a series of violent altercations and one very tense meeting with a counsellor, he was given the judgment of poor anger management. He pretended it didn't hurt him. What was so bad about it? So he was hot-headed, many people were, nevertheless, at home he cried himself to sleep, muttering through shallow, panicked breaths that he wasn’t a bad kid. He wasn’t.

He thought that the 14th birthday would be the worst to come.

He was wrong.

Perhaps this thought was heard and not by kind ears because the universe immediately set to work to truly make the most horrendous birthday two years later.

It’s October 12th, 2012, very, very late evening and he along with the rest, save for Jungkook, found themselves standing in front of a weathered tarot shop, near Daehangno. He tried so hard to remember it later, clung to every detail that the old witch spewed in front of a crystal ball but near sixteen-year-old Jimin was an arrogant little punk and hadn't listened much to her. Had adult Jimin had the chance he’d choke the little bastard. Because of him, his life was very sour.

Soulmates and red is all he remembered.

A woman clothed in red, their last soulmate. They laughed at her and at the notion. Ignored her hexes for not listening and unkindly told her to stuff it. Shit was crazy. They were all soulmates and had to find the eighth one, yeah right. Jimin was actually the loudest to laugh about it then even if he secretly thought it would be a lovely idea - to be meant to love someone and be meant to be loved. They’d be tied to him and couldn't leave like his many “friends” had. Of course, after a brief shake in the rain, he scoffed at the proposal.

Soulmates.

What girly bullshit meant to be discussed in between giggling circles. He was a man, he was not meant for this! Especially to love other guys. What a preposterous idea. But because the universe doesn’t tolerate fifteen-year-old brats running their mouths too much about the divine order, no less than thirty minutes after Jimin is forced to eat his own words. To choke on them, to hack, to later die because of them.

He turned from his cup of noodles, to see why Jin had suddenly started shaking and found red. So much red. So bright.

He couldn't look away. It was raining and murk had enveloped Seoul like an impenetrable dome. Everything black, everything dark, even the light of the corner store seemed somehow muffled but not the red. Not you.

They were all scared. Terrified out of their minds by the woman in red. Jimin presumed that at that moment they did believe, for maybe a second they believed that there was a reason for all of this but unfortunately the second passed and they were left to make judgments. A stupid, braindead decision, bred and nestled in fear.

Jimin spent years silently screaming at all of them for that night. They'd done nothing, hadn’t even moved and after a fleeting glimpse, your red melted away. Back into the night of the world, never to be seen again.

Still reeling from the experience they left Daehangno and Jimin glanced at Jin’s watch. 00:05. October 13th. Means you left his sight at exactly 00:00. The Curse had worked.

So Jimin did what he knew then best - he got angry.

He hated you. Everything was your fault. If he slipped, it was because you distracted him, if he messed up it was because he was thinking of you, if he loathed every inch of his body, it was because of people like you, who taunted him every waking moment. He cursed you with words he wouldn’t dare repeat to anyone living or dead. From morn to evening, from day to night if he would do so much as bump his knee, he would put all the world’s blame on you. And most of all he hated how you possessed him. It drove him up the wall that when he talked to a girl, he wasn’t thinking of a smooth pick up line, no, there was just you. What would you look like? Would you tug your hair like the girl in front of him did? Did you wear pleated skirts or were you more of a tomboy similar to the one who threw an empty cola can when he tried to smooth talk her into sparing some money.

On his 17th birthday, he is hunched over the toilet bowl, cold sweat clinging to his forehead. He’s exhausted, bone-thin, having just finished vomiting the bare slivers of food he ate and yelling at the rest of his "soulmates". He spends his birthday in the company of the toilet. One would think this was his worst birthday but it wasn't. Once again Jimin goes rabid with rage because even in this state, you dare to make him think that losing you was worse.

On his 18th birthday, he's balls deep into a very pretty stranger he met at the bar. It should be a happy day but it feels hollow. He can't stop thinking about how Jungkook will have those big eyes filled with hurt when he smells a different perfume on Jimin's clothes, how Taehyung will give him a disappointed sigh and Yoongi will pretend he doesn't exist. He can't stop thinking about whether you were in this situation, pressed against someone, moaning and writhing in the expert hands of a similar faceless stranger.

He grips the headboard of the hotel bed and starts ramming into his partner so fast and so hard they stop faking it. (Jimin wasn't entirely oblivious). After they leave, he goes to drink again. The bottle of his beer has a vague outline of a lady in a red coat. He cries upon her figure for so long and so desperate he had no soul left. He cries all his hatred out and when the thought comes, of how would he feel if he ever had to hear what he threw towards you, he wants to die.

He holds all the red he can find - napkins, pens, notes and wails in front of them like a sinner facing an altar.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry."

You were an innocent person, what had you done to deserve this? He felt like a monster. If the universe was fair he would never meet you. It would protect you from the hands of this wretched creature wearing his skin.

After that evening his birthdays are neither bad nor good. Monotonous. Years piling but their marking remaining as lifeless.

He gets better. Goes to the therapist and stops hating everything that touches his way. Stops hating his body and finds that his fingers are not claws, his ribs - not proverbial horns to be crushed. His form is not a putrid blob etched like an ink spill across the many straying lives. He was just Jimin, in his faults and his blessings.

He is the third one to embrace the fact that they were soulmates or maybe fourth. The first and second was the obvious choice, the third one typical in his fashion remained mysterious. Jimin, however, is the first to verbalize it, his therapy sessions made him acutely aware of the words and their connotations.

The word "soulmate" was tainted for them, by their fear, from that night, so Jimin makes it his mission to change it. He does so lightly, cracking jokes about Taehyung being his soulmate. Hoseok nearly flings himself off the chair when he lets it casually slip by. They, of course, don't mention it, the entire thing remains unspoken and maybe that's the problem. Jimin found it easier to breathe, once he accepted it as though the World had stopped hammering it into his skull and was now patting him down for being a good boy. And after some time, after much growth, none of it easy, but necessary, they begin to speak about you, about being soulmates - with no malice or scorn.

They accept that they're each other's home, whether meant to or not. It happened to be so. But home was unfinished and as they grow older the draft through the rooms of their being flows too heavy to be left unnoticed. More often the thoughts of you are spoken aloud. At first, in pairs of two's. Would you like the coffee they were drinking? Would you like this lake in New Zealand that they travelled to? Would you laugh at the mushroom-shaped retro wig Jin had to wear for a photoshoot?

Then gradually, nevertheless with recklessness, the yearning spills from their mouths more and more until every conversation is about you, every longing, heartbroken lyric is about you. Late-night drives where there is just them and the dark are dedicated to you, dedicated to the long discussions they revolve around the questions of your existence. Editors have to suffer for hours, cutting every little curious, pining, regretful remark from the archives of their never-ending film.

Jimin was happy to hear it. Happy to smooth some balm over the wounds he carved on your name. He was the one with the Curse yet he felt you must be an exceptionally unlucky girl, had to be stuck with their poor excuse of soulmates.

When his 26th birthday comes around, the world is a mess. Everything has turned upside down and now there is a new layer added - fear. Fear for you. It was no small chance that you could get sick, that you could die without ever knowing that there were seven people breathing worry about your safety.

That birthday was as unremarkable as the previous, or the next one will be, he presumed. Jimin walked along the bridge, candle and cupcake in hand. He blew, snuffing out the single beam of light in the night. If there was anyone listening and if they could find some pity in their hearts, his only wish was just to see you, to know that you were alright. He asked of nothing more, just a single glimpse and he'd be gone out of your life for good. He dared not to dream of more, to plead for your love. After everything he'd done, he did not deserve it.

But one thing was thinking alone on a bridge in Seoul, another to stand in front of your door or rather lie in Jimin's case. He spots the familiar red suitcase in the corner of the empty hallway and gives it a soft smile as if to say "hello, old friend".

The reality that you were here, you'd become true regurgitates in the forefront of his awareness that the giddiness just doesn't stop. They're drawn to you like moths to a flame, like bull to a red flag. Even Hobi who right from the start insisted that they had no right, no right to invade your life, to drag you into their mess when they cast you aside, even he could not stay away. He fought, fought to all his might but in the end strayed not a single step outside your orbit. And Jimin who tried to remember that he doesn't deserve this, couldn't stop craving.

They did think they should leave, they yearned and whined with such ardour, it only drove you away but then you came home drunk that one Friday and they saw the full extent of what their fear did to you. When they were coddled up in warmth, no matter how denied, you were alone. Alone in the cold. Not even waiting, you had not known they would be coming for you.

Bad circumstances, bad people, bad decisions seizing your days, year after year. They were surprised you were even here. No wonder you wanted no one.

That night was the worst they've ever had. They spoke little but thought a lot and in the morning light, they settled for atonement. They'd pushed you on a hopeless path once, now they would build you a better one instead. And if you told them to fuck off when push came to shove, they'd bid their heads gracefully and exit stage left.

It's another October 13, Jimin's birthday, and he scarcely begins to believe the Curse is lifted. You don't understand why is he so happy, it's written all over your face, but Jimin vibrates with joy. He doesn't care that every lungful smells of fish or that there is nothing glamorous lying around. Right now to him, this small wharf is a piece of Heaven he hadn't dreamt of seeing.

He hides in your neck when the movie comes, not because he was scared, the "Return of the Killer Tomatoes" wasn't what he considered as dread-inducing, but because he could. He could feel the warm skin underneath his lips and a steady beat of a heartbeat, very much alive, very much so undeservedly kind to him.

He still can't say what he needs to. He has to respect the decisions of others but moreover, he doesn't know how to say it. How can he put into words literal years of both insanity and adoration, of worship and slander? The last thing he wants is to hurt you and the truth will hurt. He thinks that it might just destroy you, the way it destroyed him in that hotel room.

He spins a hypothetical tale of this someone, some one, The One. Semantics, wasn't it. And you tell him, it's okay, the filth...it didn't matter because it never made it real in the physical sense but Park Jimin if anyone, knew how much words hurt, sometimes even whispered in your own ear.

You touch his heart and he wants to give it to you, in a gory, self-sacrificing way but he settles on more socially acceptable hand-holding. You don't know yet that this heart beats for you - it aches, it breaks and it can't look you straight into the eye. There's so much that neither you nor Jimin know. Like his next birthday. Perhaps it will be even better, or perhaps he will be once again weeping red. No one knew where their paths could lead, especially if they were so goddamn stubborn about it.

"I'm such an idiot," you utter, bathed in sunlight and Jimin could swear you were not made of this Earth but of stars, so distant and lovely.

"I didn't bring you a piece of cake or a candle. You could have made a birthday wish by the seaside."

Jimin cares not for any more wishes. He'd made one, back in Seoul, and it was sitting right next to him.

He shrugs as the last light of the fading sun, disappears over the horizon, his birthday candle if he wanted.

"Don't worry," he smiles, cataloguing every bit of your face to memory, building his finished home. "It came true."

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junova · 3 years

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𝐬𝐰𝐞𝐞𝐭 𝐚𝐬 𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐰𝐛𝐞𝐫𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐬 𝐰𝐚𝐤𝐞.

notes: howdy guys, it's been a while. i've been taking a break and finally starting writing again, yay. it's been a rough few months and still treading through it, but i hope you enjoy a piece of my heart with this one.

if it's any consolation, my heart broke while writing this. </3

pairing — boxer!steve rogers x fem!reader

concept — steve has to come with terms of you not wanting him just as much as he wants you.

wc — 6.7k+ [yeah...]

warnings: 18+, themes alluding to sex, emotional cheating, soft!steve, heartbreak, kind of unrequited vibe going on, over all ✨ angst ✨

Even if it was the thousandth time to watch his body move in the ring, you still were memorized by the way he moved. You were in complete admiration of how his hips flowed so fluidly through his punches. Just like always, he was aware of your presence as you stood next to Sam and Wanda, both of them with proud smiles on their faces as he defeated yet another opponent.

Watching as they raised his arm, declaring him as the champion, something he’d been striving so intensely for, the past few months. Even if his body was bruised and littered with the hits Rumlow had been able to mark his body with and not to mention the busted lip, making him taste the blood with nearly every swallow.

It didn’t matter because he had followed through with what he had set his mind out to do. The looks Rumlow was giving him after all the smack talk he had served him was satisfying enough. Even if he didn’t think you did, he saw you standing there alongside his friends, celebrating the win of his life.

He couldn’t but smile proudly at your presence, even if the disapproval you have against his lifestyle was well known between the two of you and everyone else in your friend group.

Steve knew you weren’t a fan of the injuries you brought home in your shared apartment, the nights you actually stayed there. With Jordan’s absence from New York, you’d been staying there more consistently than ever.

He would never admit it out right, but it made his heart full. With you home, he could protect and he worried wherever you weren’t there. Even if he knew you were fully capable of defending yourself if need be, it would always make him feel better when you were close to him.

Just like him, you could confess it even to yourself, but when you were back in the apartment you shared with Steve, you’d always felt safer.

He went straight to the locker room, to clean himself up as best as he could without making his friends and Tony wait too long. He’d usually go straight to them but the group took notice he held himself back when you were around.

The first match you went to and he came up with bruises running along both rib cages, a bloody nose accompanied by a busted lip, he immediately took notice of the way you cowered away from him. Barely even looking at him as you congratulated him. From then on out, he realized how much it bothered you to see him physically injured.

When you’d come, he’d always make sure to clean himself up before. It really worked out on the days he didn’t want to be around many people. Only the stragglers from the crowd would be left, and his friends who supported him nearly every time.

As soon as he made his way over to the group, he was met with Sam’s warm smile pulling him into a warm hug. You found yourself wincing as soon as Steve did. “Easy there big buy, bruises are still fresh.” Sam let up just a tad, before everyone was congratulating him. You stood back with Tony, watching the proud smile grow on his face as he watched his prodigy surpass his monumental goal.

“You should think about coming to more matches. He fights better when you’re here watching him.” You twisted your neck so you could see his coach more clearly who was standing right beside you. “I’m sure he plays just as well when I’m not here. I still watch them everytime, just from home when it’s too much for me to stomach.”

You looked forward away from Tony, Steve coming into your line of vision as Sharon, his ex who had surprisingly shown up to corral by his side, someone you’d hadn’t seen near him in the past few weeks since she’d been out of the country for work.

“His technique and endurance is the same, but his intensity always rises higher when you’re here. I’m not the only one who notices, maybe the only one bold enough to say it to you.” Tony spoke as watched the man he took in when Steve was just sixteen.

Truly, it made his heart swell with pride to see him reach the level of success he had been dreaming for him since the pair had met. Knowing Steve for the past five years, also made him hyper aware of the girl he never seemed to shut up about, not that you’d ever find out.

No matter how much Tony was dying to let the words slip off his tongue.

“I’m just happy to be here for him.” Keeping your words short as you watched Sharon move closer to him, her hand resting on his chest and he didn’t even move away from it. You tried to ignore the ugly shade of green rising in your chest, but with him it always seemed to show.

Not that you’d had a right to, you weren’t single or emotionally available by any means, but the thought of him being with someone who had hurt him so much made you more protective of him than you had a right to be.

“C’mon little dove, have you thought about why you’d rather stay in the dinged up apartment with Steve than be with your boyfriend of three years across the country?” He pressed harder, making sure you were careful of your response. “My friends are here and so is my family. I can’t just leave everyone I love behind.” Your gaze never left Steve’s as he finally was out of Sharon’s grip.

“Steve’s here, too. You sure it has nothing to do with him?” Part of you couldn’t stand there with Tony and lie to him because you weren’t sure what was the nature of your relationship with the boxer.

Thankfully, you were saved from responding by the devil himself as made his way over to the two of you. Much to your dismay, he had to get in a few more words before Steve was in earshot. “Just think about why Steve lives with you when he’s had more than enough to move out for a while now.”

Before you could even process the words leaving his mouth, your favorite man in the ring immediately has you wrapped up in his arms. Holding you so close and so tightly, not even caring if it put more pressure on his lungs than he wished.

“Congrats on the win, Champion. I’m so proud of you.” The arms you had around him were placed gently, too afraid to put any weight on the new bruises. Not to mention the old ones which were still healing.

Once he pulled away from you, just enough so you could look at him. He hummed at Tony and with one nod of his head he knew when the young boxer wanted to be left alone. More times than not, it is usually with you.

“I thought you weren’t coming tonight. Isn’t Jordan in town?” Not even when it was the biggest moment of his career thus far did he care to indulge in his victories. Always it seemed to be looking after you.

“Stevie, this is your night. We don’t have to talk about me — we’re always talking about me.” For a moment he almost bought your act until he looked into those dazzling eyes of yours, ones he never seemed to grow tired of in the past few years.

“I’m not happy unless you’re happy. So, if you need a night where we just watch romcoms and chow on cookie dough ice cream, you know I’m all yours.” Unknowing to the two of you, everyone of your friends was watching the encounter and still couldn’t believe you still were with your current boyfriend.

Or that Steve was just waiting for you patiently. Something that didn’t come easy for him around women. Before you, he didn’t really do relationships with women that didn’t end with him in their bed at some point. Somehow, much to everyone’s dismay, he managed to keep his interactions platonic with you.

At least in their eyes.

“No, Stevie. I’m fine. He just didn’t follow through this time. It’s not the end of the world, I’ll be fine. Tonight, I just wanna be by your side and celebrate you.” Although, he didn’t really believe you Steve decided he would let it go.

“Regardless of it, thank you for coming tonight. Means the world to me.” It really did. Even more so, when he felt like he was one of the reasons you were still in Brooklyn and not in California living with your boyfriend instead.

“Oh, hush bubba. You’re getting so soft on me and you haven’t even had a proper drink in you yet. Let’s just celebrate with our friends, yeah?” You kissed his cheek sweetly, before you were off to Bucky and Nat’s place to get properly fed and surely get Steve drunk off his ass.

It really was the elephant in the room you were choosing to ignore. The fluttering feeling of adventurous butterflies traveling to spaces you didn’t know existed. Everytime he pulled you close to his side or kissed your temple.

When Bucky would do something monumentally stupid, he would whisper a line in your ear humorous enough to hear you laugh. Even right now, when you knew he was exhausted, muscles sore and aching — Steve was still tending to whatever you needed.

In this moment, your body nestled between his legs as he draped his arm across your chest, letting him hold you close was exactly what you needed. Even if you tried to remove yourself several times because of the new injuries, he would never let you.

“What’s next, Rogers?” Steve watched as he craned his neck towards Sharon. You’d almost forgotten she was here, she’d been so quiet most of the night.

“A whole lot of rest and then in a few weeks, right back into training.” He spoke with pride because winning the title went hand and hand with defending it. “You should come to the club. Danielle’s been itching to see you, again.”

Steve grimaced, not just as Sharon’s words, but with how stiff your body became. The way you rubbed back and forth with the tip of your fingers against his forearm came to a halt.

You weren’t really sure what to do because now you felt horrible for even feeling like you had a right to be upset in the first place. Because you didn’t. You weren’t single and Steve was. In this space in time, he did nothing wrong.

When you followed Nat back into the kitchen to grab a bottle of wine, away from him, it felt like he had made a mistake.

Just watching as you followed Nat up the pathway, in your pretty green dress, as you messed with the necklace adoring your neck. Something he learned you did when you were anxious.

“Why would you bring that up now? In front of her?” He was slightly pissed off she had driven you away and out of his arms. Steve would have you within his grip constantly if you would let him. Not that you did, but it was still a certain something he found himself wishing for. More than not though, someone else always seemed to hold your attention whenever he wasn’t in the ring.

Jordan. Tony. Sam. Natasha. Bucky. Wanda.

Tonight had seemed it might go in a different direction, until Sharon steered your mind elsewhere. One where you were a girl who missed her boyfriend. Or at least that’s what he thought.

Unknowingly to Steve, Jordan was the last thing on your mind, which allowed the guilt to settle in. Maybe, just this one time it was rightfully placed. The thoughts you were having scared you senseless — making you want to do something you knew you shouldn’t.

You just sat there on the padded bar tool as Nat grabbed a bottle of white with a bottle of red. Like time and time again, Nat read your mind just as she often did. “So, why couldn’t he come this time?” She drilled into you, her iridescent daggers as piercing as ever.

“He said he forgot his mother asked him to help her move out of the house. He said he’d make it up to me some other time.” Just like always.

But you held your tongue before voicing it to anyone other than yourself. It’d been months since you’d seen him in the flesh, and it was the first time he spoke to you in days when he informed you he’d been unable to spend any of his time off with you.

“He’s just never here and he keeps asking for me to move to Los Angeles, but my whole life is here. Before, he never seemed to really pressure me. He was always patient with me to travel at my own pace but I think he ultimately thought I would eventually go there with him.” You breathed out, scared of the truth dripping right out of you.

“I just-, you know what? Nevermind. It’s isn’t important.” She was never one to bite her tongue, but she found herself trying to when your feelings were involved.

“Tell me. What is it?” Your curious, bambi eyes peering into your soul, dying to pull the confession right out of her.

“Do you even miss him when you’re apart for so long? I’m not judging but it just seems like you’re okay. I’m not saying it’s a bad thing, but why don’t you ever go to him or Jordan to you?” Natasha spoke softly, afraid she might be poking the bear just a bit.

“Of course I miss him. I would see him if I could. I’m just a little too busy right now with work and my family.” You attacked back, feeling the need to defend yourself.

“Are you really going to make me say it?” With both bottles of wine on the counter, she went to grab three more wine glasses — for Sharon, herself, and you.

“Say what? What the hell are you talking about?” You pushed her as she put out the bottles of wine as she managed to link the three vines of the glasses in her left fingertips. “Forget it. I shouldn’t have said anything.” She was regretting it now, because maybe you weren’t quite ready to hear the words everyone else knew to be true. Anyone who was around the two of you could see it.

Perhaps, Nat never spoke a word of it because at the very least, she thought you wouldn’t be as naive to see his feelings. The ones he seemed to offer you on a silver platter, whether you wanted to reject or accept the offering, giving it to you wholeheartedly.

Following her out the patio door where the two of you stopped, not moving a step further. She didn’t really say anything either. Letting you bask in the glow before the fall.

He was laughing so hard, his hand clutching his chest as him. Golden hair shining bright by the fire pit, almost as

lively as his smile. Even if it looked like his spirit could have been beaten out of him tonight, he’d never show it.

When he had trouble keeping his eyes open, he’d force himself to stay alert because moments he could spend with ones he loved seemed too precious to pass up. Especially over the past few months — he didn’t even have to think twice about it.

Through the schedule Tony had him on, his life was eating, breathing, living boxing. Training every day in the gym, whether it be furthering his techniques in the gym to Tony making him regret any mistake he made in the ring.

Even some days he was just weight training when Tony told him he could rest. He couldn’t though. Not when he could taste the sweetness of his dreams on the tip of his tongues.

Every day, dawn till dusk, training consumed every moment of his time. Steve thought his body was restless before, but now? Nothing came even close to this.

Leading Steve to be blissfully unaware of what was actually going in that fantastically bold head of yours.

“Just spill it, Romanov.” You pressured her, but your eyes were too weak to redirect your directions elsewhere. Only Steve holding your attention at one.

“Remember when Steve left for Spain for three months with Tony?” Your body stilled, having a feeling you knew where this was going. Regretting you told her what had happened with Steve in the first after promising him it would just stay between the two of you.

“It was the year Jordan and I had split for two months.” The memory of what happened always clouding your better judgement. The way his eyes shined still haunted you. “Steve had already been there a month when it happened and the second I told him he insisted on flying me out.”

Looking at him fondly, across the greenery before speaking so softly as if he was right next to you, “I could never say no to him. I still can’t.” Nat tried to ignore it but she could see through the fog of your first love fading even if you were trying your hardest to avoid the inevitable heartache.

The care you held for him was oozing out of you, bursting and breaking at the seams. When you kept thinking of him more than a roommate, more than a friend.

“Dove, you can’t just keep pretending your feelings don’t exist. The more you try to bury the root deep the more it will grow.” You knew she was right, but you really didn’t want to hurt anyone.

You supposed you were already causing pain unintentionally. “His biggest insecurity is him. Jordan thinks I’m still here because of him.” You confessed, the ongoing fight no secret to anyone, really.

“Aren’t you?” Maybe if you had been a better liar, you could’ve convinced her but everyone could read you like the back of your own hand.

You hated the spotlight she was putting on you, but even more so because she was right. Moving forward with Jordan meant leaving someone else behind, something you couldn’t seem to prepare yourself to do.

“I love Jordan. He’s my first love and I thought he would be the greatest one, too.” You really want to stop the love and admiration flowing out of you, but you couldn’t choose who you love and maybe it was time for you to stop fighting it.

“Then, I met Steve. He responded to the ad I put out for the spare room in my apartment and we met for coffee.” If you had listened to your mother, her wishes of you not to be in the company of a man who was a complete stranger, you’d never meet the most important person in your life.

“He looked more like a boy back then. Clean shaven. No beard. Steve was still muscular, but not nearly as toned as he is now. But his eyes? They pulled me right in. Still do, every damn time.” You should have held some sort of shame, but you didn’t.

“You should do something about it, Dove. He isn’t going to be single forever.” Nat questioned as you followed her lead, back to the roaring fire.

“Nat, I love Jordan. I could never do that to him.” You really couldn’t, but you also couldn’t find it in you to move with him either. “I know you love him, but you aren’t in love anymore.” Growing closer and closer, back to the group, you saw him clearly.

“What do you mean?” Trying to ignore the pain in your chest as Natasha spoke. “I think you’re scared of ending it with Jordan. Dove. I’ve known you for a long time now and I’ve never seen you look at anyone the way you do with Steve.”

The words spilling out of her lips left you a little broken — the truth spearing you through. She wasn’t wrong, not one bit. Nat never nearly was, especially when your feelings were involved. Steve had become such an enigma to you in the past year.

The line of platonic friendship and overflowing emotional intimacy was becoming too entangled for you to even comprehend.

“Just think about it. I just want you to be happy.” The rest of the night, it’s all you could think about. A few days passed and it was still in the forefront of your mind.

When Steve was walking home with you this week, you couldn’t stop wondering all the hypotheticals swarming inside your dreams.

He could tell, too.

You’d never been so quiet, not ever. He’d like to hear you, especially when you were drunk. Like you seemed to be now, at least to him but tequila that lit a fire in your chest a few hours ago was beginning to wear off. Just when the feelings you kept trying to avoid would seep there way back in like your furry, fat cat Thor when he wormed his body through the gate into the apartment.

“What’s wrong? You’ve seemed off this week.” You felt his hand kiss yours, but he didn’t bother to find it’s home. He’d been keeping his distance or at least been trying to. You'd been so vulnerable lately and the last thing he wanted to do was exploit that.

Ever since Sharon had made a comment about Danielle, and you escaped with Nat, something changed. You more guarded around him, more than you'd ever been since you met.

Steve knew there was a reason for it, but he didn't want to push you — not when it looked like you would combust into a breakdown at any given moment.

“I’ve just been thinking about where my life is going and where I want it to go.” You confessed, letting your words linger. “Jordan wants me to move with him to California and I’m running out of reasons to say no.” In perfect harmony, your eyes met his at the same time.

They weren’t joyful what his bright blues usually possess, but this time they were indifferent. Not even you could read them.

“Do you want to move there with him?” Steve asked you, his heart on the verge of dropping into his stomach. “If it will make you happy, you should.” Shoving his hands in his pockets, you watched him drift away from you.

��I don’t know. It might.” Both of you coming to a halt, walking up to the apartment the two of you shared.

“He’s insecure about you. It’s why he’s pressuring me.” The two of your bodies so close but so far away as you stood in the doorway. With a confusing gaze and pouty lips, practically guiding you into temptation.

“He used to always tell me you were in love with me. He was fully convinced, still is. I never thought so. You were just my best friend, that was it. I just never really thought about it unless Jordan brought it up.” You would have loved to blame your sudden outburst on the alcohol, but it was something you'd been dying to do.

Before you never had the guts, but you a felt a pull towards Steve lately, like maybe there was something more trying to burst under the seams.

“I thought Tony was bullshitting me, fucking with me, but I didn’t ever give it a thought. Then, Nat brought up Spain.” Nights you told yourself were a mistake, but deep down it was the probably the safest you felt in a long time.

“What are you talking about? What did Tony say?” Fetching for the key, he slid it in before opening the door for you and following you inside. “Steve, why do you still live here?” Blushing cheeks and a string of incoherent words was all you could make out from him.

As he headed for the small couch, trying to make up an excuse good enough. One which you’d actually believe, he hoped.

“You make four times as much as me, if not more. For some reason, you’ve decided to stay in this shithole apartment — it doesn’t make sense.” He wished you would make sense of it, that way he didn’t have to say a word.

“Do you want me to move out?” He questioned, watching your movements. If you wanted him to move out, he wouldn’t hesitate to do so.

It was the last thing you wanted, but the line between your friendship with him was always blurred. Only now, when it was vaguely pointed out by the two people close to the both of you — it became more apparent than ever.

“No, I just, I guess I’m asking why. You know you’re more than welcome to stay here as long as you’d like, but this place is a dump, Steve. Why on earth would you wanna stay here?” When he looked up, where you stood above him having a hard time biting his tongue.

Because you’re here.

It’s what he wanted to say, but he didn’t have the right and he would just be an asshole if he put you in a compromising position. He already felt guilty enough with his feelings in the first place, he didn't need to pile on.

“I guess it’s just easier to stay. It’s so close to the ring and I’m maybe a tad too comfortable.” You sat next to him on the couch. Finding yourself trapped in the green of his eyes. “Don’t you want something better?” Maybe it was him or maybe it was you. Neither of you could tell.

The two of you inched closer until Steve was caressing your thigh, just with the tip of his thumb. “I’m more than happy with where I’m at.”

“Well, I’m asking because I need to go to California. Just for a bit. I need to see Jordan, it’s been awhile since I’ve seen him.” He didn’t stop touching, not even with the mention of his name.

Even if it pierced him every time you talked about him. Or when Jordan came to town, he felt like he didn’t exist to you.

He didn’t blame you, not at all. Jordan was your highschool sweetheart, and you wanted so badly for it to work but something was holding you back. Something you were trying to let go of.

“He loves me so much and wants to start building this whole new life, but how am I supposed to tell him?” Steve said nothing, letting you sink into the ground.

“He’s been nothing, but kind and loving. Always there, always supportive. The best partner I could have asked for.” Steve laced your hand in his like it was the most natural thing in the world, making butterflies erupt at full speed.

You couldn’t really pinpoint a moment when he started, but all you knew is how safe his warm, calloused hands made you feel. Since the moment you met, never failing to comfort you when needed.

“Then what’s the problem, Dove?” Steve questioned you, untangling his body from yours.

If he was going to help you, he needed to think and being so close to you wouldn’t get himself where you needed. Above all, you didn’t make any easier when a small whine left your throat — tugging at his heart strings.

“We never talk about what happened in Barcelona.” You watched his body tighten, muscles in his arm constricting.

It made him feel just as uneasy as it did to you. At least you could find comfort in that.

“Dove, there’s a reason for it. You and I both know it.” Steve was right. His self righteous sense of nature always kicked in when you wanted it the least.

“You don’t think about it? Because I do.” Pushing weight on his heart, you were very aware you held. You weren’t too naive to know just how much he cared for you, but coward enough to try and make him admit it first.

“You were broken up, things are different now. We’re home where you have a boyfriend and I have boxing.”

“Yes, where I have a boyfriend who wants me to abandon everything I hold close to me to join him without even bothering to ask me what I want.” You puffed out, exhaustion coming in overflow. “The past year, he hasn’t once asked me what I want.”

The boy with golden locks found himself wanting nothing more than to hold you in his arms, nurse you back to health with all the love he could offer.

But even he knew he couldn’t do it. He couldn’t keep on spreading himself thin over a woman who was so conflicted, so distraught she was collapsing within herself. If he wasn’t too careful, he might fall right beside you.

“Before we got back together, he asked me.” You confessed, feeling better as soon as the secret flew from your mouth. “He asked you what?” Steve pressed on, a bit terrified of it truly, but even he had to know.

“He asked if anything happened between us the months I was there and I lied. Ever since we met, he’s been insecure. He thinks I’m going to leave you for him and it wasn’t the first time he asked either.” You wish you hadn’t dealt with the two of them so poorly, but with the expression on Steve’s face you knew you had.

“He knows I lied and it hurts even more he stayed with me anyways.” Steve didn’t move, his fear keeping him still.

“I don’t know how to be his after you, but I don’t know how to let go of my high school sweetheart either.” You felt trapped, in between an impossible decision. An old love, who loves you past your mistakes, past the hurt and a soulful heart admiring you from where you’re at and nothing less.

“Those nights don’t have to mean anything if you don’t want them to.” He spoke softly, his beautiful orbs catching yours in the moonlight peeking through the window.

“They mean too much to me, that’s the problem.” If he didn’t move as you inched closer to his body, planting yourself in front of him, you could tell he was straining himself.

“Do you remember the first time?” He looked confused, wondering if you truly were bold enough to speak of something you shouldn’t touch with a ten foot pole. Your hand found his chest, feeling the pulse of his rapid heart beat. “I was so shy and timid the first time with you, but you guided me so well.” Too fond of the memory of him worshipping every part of your body.

The very thing he wanted to do since the moment he met you, but Steve wanted more than that. Now more than ever.

“You don’t have to remind me, Dove. I remember.” He swallowed deeply, trying to erase the permanent memory of your body writhing beneath him, moaning out his name, begging him for more.

He still found himself thinking about it. Those two months with you had just amplified what he felt even more because now he knew what it was like for you to wake up in his arms, bare skin against his own.

The way you curled into his chest, your arms wrapped around his waist for optimal comfort.

Or when he’d wake up before you, which was most days, he’d find you murmuring his name in your sleep while soft fingertips caressed your skin lulling you into a more peaceful slumber.

“I never forget, Dove. That’s the problem.” With one finger, he pushed back the hair falling in your face tucking it behind your ear. “I tried to move past it, I went on a couple dates with this woman, Danielle.” You already felt your heart clench at the thought of him with someone else.

“She’s kind, smart, and beautiful and she seems to like me. Sharon keeps bugging me to take her out again since she set the two of us up.” Steve was trying to talk calmly, but he couldn’t ground himself. Especially when you only seemed to pull back further from him.

It was weird that Sharon set the pair up, considering she dated Steve not too long ago but it seemed she could put her feelings inside if it was for your despair.

In her daunting eyes, you were the reason her and the promising boxer broke up in the first place. As cliche as it was, she offered Steve an ultimatum after six months of dating — her or you.

Steve picked you.

It wasn’t like he loved her at that point. He did care for her, but you just meant too much to him. When kind, iridescent eyes met his own for the first time Steve never was able to stop thinking about them. Or you for that matter.

Carefully calculated as Steve could be, he managed to trap you between the closed door of his bedroom and his toned body.

“But I want to hear you say something before I do.” His gaze never faltered for a moment as he played with the hem of the short slip dress adoring your taut figure.

Half of your mind was begging you to retreat into your room and forget the last time you’d been pressed up against him like this. The other half wanted to see what he would do once he knew you were in the palm of his hand once again.

You had a feeling he already did.

His beard was grown out and his silky, golden hair that almost reached his shoulders make him look even more deliciously sinful.

“What’s that?” You tried not to gulp loudly, but if you even made the slightest movement, he would notice. “Tell me you’re in love with him.” His soft thumb caressing your side, not sure if he was trying to soothe himself or you.

“Just tell me five years down the line, you see him right there with you. Just say it, so I can move on.” He couldn’t even look at you, he couldn’t take the inevitable. “Tell me we’re just friends and Jordan’s your future.” You met his eyes, the prettiest blues you’ll ever see.

Commanding your attention without even trying — every damn time. You weren’t sure what you wanted, but you knew seeing him hurt was chipping a piece of you away. Watching his arched eyebrows furrowed in distress, fine lines being made in the middle for proof.

Soft fingertips met his skin, smoothing out his furrowed brows, closing his eyes trying to remember what you smelled like. Just like Sharon reached her breaking point, he had too. Steve couldn’t watch you any longer without being the one you wanted without a doubt.

“Stevie.” You softly whisper, before pulling him into your arms.

Even if he was double your size, he let you hold him as best as you could. Comfort him even if you were the reason he’s breaking.

The strong, persistent boxer had been transported back to the sick and thin kid he once was before all the guns and glory came. Steve was right back to where he got rejected by anyone and everyone. A time and many places where no one gave a damn about Steve Rogers, not anyone he wished for.

You watched him untangle himself from you, but you weren’t sure just how much time had passed. A few minutes? Thirty? An hour?

Only time could tell and she wasn’t really on your side at the moment.

“I’ve only found love once. Back in high school, there was this girl, Hazel. She was kind, sweet, eyes that shined like fresh honey. The first person to ever show any interest in me and I was in love with the fact that someone actually wanted me.” Steve felt his heart clench at the memory he wished to forget.

“I truly believed I loved her with every fiber in me and I thought she cared about me too, until I realized she was just using me to get to Bucky.” You watched the distress wash over him again and you wanted nothing more than to make him feel appreciated and loved. Not rejected and forgotten.

“It broke my heart for months because I truly believed I was in love with this girl who I hardly knew.” He sighed deeply, like he somehow already was aware of the soft whisper of goodbye.

“It always kind of stayed with me, not ever feeling like I was good enough for anyone until Tony found me. Graduated high school and I started training dawn till dusk until I couldn’t anymore just to start all over and do it the next day.” He was looking everywhere but you. Even if there was not a thing in this damn hallway, but two pressured hearts.

“Not too long after, I met you and I remember thinking this is the most extraordinary woman I’ve ever met in my life.” Now, feeling like an absolute dick because you truly didn't deserve for this wonderful man to be in your life.

“You were so kind to me and you had no reason to be, but I learned it’s just who you are. This amazingly bright full beam, shining their light on everyone else — not paying attention to how much they give even if it’s everything they have.” Your skin felt hot beyond comparison, the passion in the words he spoke deeper than the memory of his skin against your own.

“I always tried to ignore it, how stupidly kind and thoughtful you are. How much you take care of me when you don’t have to. You cleaned my wounds for months without even asking me what I was doing.”

“I already knew you had a boyfriend, one you love very much, but I couldn’t stop myself from being around you. Now, I have to leave. I need to move on for me because I know how this ends for me — how it always has.” He sighed before walking away, leaving you hanging in every conceivable way. You didn’t notice the suitcase by the door before. Until he was walking out of the apartment with his possessions in hand — out of sight and out of mind.

“Wait!” He was already making it to his car, the old beat up pickup truck he couldn’t seem to get rid of when you reached him. “I just need time, Steve.” You’d been sprinting after him, until you caught up to him, making his attention fully focused on you.

“Jordan’s the only boyfriend I’ve ever had — I don’t know how to let him go.” You were crying because maybe, deep down you were hoping you could have your cake and eat it too.

“And you’re the only person I’ve ever been in love with, Dove. I can’t keep sticking around hoping you’ll wake up one day and feel the same.” He emptied his belongings in his truck before returning his attention towards you.

“Steve, don’t do this. Please. Don’t leave me.” You’d become so dependent on him, more than you realized. “You’re the only person who truly loves me and not for who they want me to be.” Trying to plead with him, but it felt like you were only pushing him even further away.

“Then tell me I’m the only one you want.” But all he was left with silence because you couldn’t and he already knew what you didn’t. He knew you hated change more than anything, that you’d rather stay in what was comfortable even if you were presented with a different option.

Someone you wanted more.

With tears in your eyes, you looked up at him like he was crushing you and there was nothing to stop the numbing feeling. He sympathized, maybe more than he liked to admit, it’s what he chose to live with over the past year. It started the moment he met you if he was truly being honest.

He knew there was nothing left for him, no matter how much his heart clenched at the sound of your cries. He couldn’t be the one who was always taking care of you, loving you, when you didn’t feel what he felt. It was splitting him open, and you just kept taking pieces of him away — parts of him you would hold forever.

He let you cling onto him one more time, begging for him not to leave you. He let you believe he wouldn’t as he calmed you back in a false sense of security. Until you were asleep in his soft sheets later that night, leaving you lonely in the home you’d been sharing.

With only half of his belongings with him, he pulled up to the project he had just completed. Even now, with not a single hope you would ever see it after he just abandoned you, there was still a light hope you’d be able to at least see it one day. If Steve was ever strong enough to face his heartbreak again.

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qqueenofhades · 3 years

Note

did you watch lucifer season six and what are your thoughts pls and ty

Ahaha. Yes. Yes I did watch it. Then I cried for a literal hour and attempted to compose myself, only to start crying again when I lay down and kept on thinking about it. Then I had more feelings. Then I slept like the dead due to emotional trauma. Then I reblogged gifsets and had More feelings. Then @buffaluff and @flynnanimal watched it and also required emotional support due to drowning in their own tears. So, uh... we're all fine here now. How are you?

My main takeaway from the final season was the sheer amount of love for the characters, story, and fans that you could feel shining through all the episodes, and which made SUCH a refreshing change. I had feelings in my tags the other day about how a show about the devil was constantly goofy, hopeful, loving, and uplifting, rather than all the grimdark nonsense they could have easily done with it. (As I said, just imagine it as written by the GOT idiots?? NO THANK YOU.) The writing really loved everyone and wanted to give them a proper ending and emotional journey, and it wanted to show the fans that they weren't stupid for having invested six seasons of effort and emotion into this, and just... that is so much rarer than it should be? Compare all the movies and TV shows that treat their fans like the enemy, that want to outsmart them at all costs even if it means changing major plot elements, that ferociously guard spoilers and think that "shock value" means good writing, by throwing hackneyed cliche upon cliche and making everything Depressing, and just... Lucifer had its hiccups and slow points and missteps, of course, but I am SO glad they didn't do that. The entire show consisted of Lucifer slowly but steadily progressing toward being a better man, despite mistakes and setbacks and sometimes a little too much will-they-won't-they. (Season 3 was the only one where I got bored and skipped over the filler episodes with Pierce/Lucifer/Chloe in order to get to the end).

That is an essentially simple premise, but they stuck to it, and they didn't try to create more drama by randomly wrecking what they had already established. I wrote a fic all the way back in mid-season 2 (In Nomine Patris) that ended up predicting quite a few of the future characters who had not yet appeared on the show at that time, including Eve, Michael, and Azrael, and several plot points, including the very major one of Lucifer returning to hell for the sake of his daughter with Chloe. And while this might mean that I am just that good at guessing TV shows (I would like to think this....) it also means that the writers set expectations, followed through on those expectations, and didn't suddenly derail everything or turn it totally on its head just for the sake of cheap shocks. As we can all attest, they certainly caused PLENTY of drama, anguish, pain, and suffering, but they did it in a way that remained faithful to the overall premises of the story and the characters, and wanted to see them become the best versions of themselves. I cried my eyes out at the end and then thought, "hey, I might want to watch the whole series again," which, if you ask me, is the mark of doing your job right. There have been so few TV endings recently where I didn't immediately swear off the whole thing or have to pretend that canon didn't exist, so yeah.

As I said, it was just refreshing to watch something that had that essential deep generosity at its core, where the message is that everyone is worthy of love if they make the hard and painful effort to change and become better, and that even if earthly things feel small next to all this messy celestial drama, they still matter, and that you are loved no matter what. I loved that Amenadiel became God and Lucifer returned to hell as a choice in order to help all the trapped souls be able to work through their guilt and go to heaven. There were obviously certain echoes of The Good Place in that ending; I don't know if it was something they had planned all along or if the success of TGP, another series asking deep questions about life, death, morality, and human nature within the framework of a goofy heaven-and-hell sitcom, influenced it, but either way, it worked so well. Even if it tore my heart out and stomped on it on the ground, it was fitting and oh so lovely to see Lucifer, once the most selfish being in the entire universe, following in Linda's footsteps and becoming selflessly dedicated to helping other people. Just. Chef's kiss.

And of course, Deckerstar. The Hades and Persephone vibes were IMMACULATE this season, and while it did take Lucifer and Chloe the best part of four seasons to get together, they never significantly backslid, never had third-party issues or cheap cheating storylines once they were officially a couple, and Tom Ellis and Lauren German REALLY killed it this season in particular. It was never easy for them and sometimes the drama went on a little too long over the course of said six seasons, but the love story was beautiful and incredibly meaningful and always true to the fact that the actors and characters and writers (not to mention the fans) all loved it so much. They were so much the emotional heart of this, and when they went to hell together in episode 6x03 (where they turned into cartoons because wHAT even IS this show), Joe Henderson said in an interview that this was to give the fans a view into Lucifer and Chloe's future (after) lives post-6x10, and to offer them a basis to write fanfiction. I mean... the showrunner saying to the fans "here, we love you, have something to write fic about!" is likewise pretty shockingly rare. It's again an example of how this show always audaciously poked fun at itself, never took itself TOO seriously, and was always welcoming its fans and the people who loved it to do so, rather than making them feel stupid or taking joy in wrecking beloved characters or plots.

Obviously, I loved Rory, the badass lesbian half-angel goth Deckerstar child straight out of My Immortal (seriously, she was SO edgy, it was amazing), because of the fact that Lucifer's entire arc was always about feeling abandoned by his father and that he was going to have to face it for himself. Dorky Devil Dad Lucifer trying his absolute HARDEST to bond with his daughter was simultaneously hilarious, adorable, and heart-wrenching, and yet again, the Growth. We all remember when he could barely tolerate Trixie touching him, and now we're here. Also, any variation whatsoever of "this is just a brief moment of time that we must be apart, love is eternal and stronger than death and we will never really leave each other" as a line is guaranteed to make me bawl my eyes out. So that was fun.

I got a big kick out of Ghost Dan running around and trying to get everyone to see him, and had feelings about seeing him in heaven with Charlotte and his beloved Pudding Pops at the end. I had feelings about how they handled Ella finding out the truth (or rather demanding to know why nobody had told her) and of course, I obviously loved Maze and Eve and their goth/femme wedding and the fact that they got a good three-season romantic arc (indeed, I wanted more of them). My god, Trixie is SO BIG, she used to be a tiny little nugget. I love that Linda was the moral and emotional rock all along, from the first episode to the very last, and that Amenadiel was Deeply Vindicated when Charlie's wings appeared at his first birthday party. I love how Lucifer in s6 is absolute thousands of light years from Lucifer in s1. And as ever, Chloe was Perfect. I am happy that I spent six seasons with these characters and saw them become better, and that I was never made to feel like an idiot for trusting the writers to end everything in a beautiful and emotional way. Because, well. They did. Sure, maybe I could go back and pick at a plotline here or a detail there, but I don't terribly feel the need to do so? It might not have been perfect, but it was perfect, and I am so grateful that it existed.

#lucifer #lucifer spoilers #deckerstar #anonymous #ask

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nextdoor-neighbors · 3 years

Text

It’s Always Been You

Request: @divergirl99

Hey could I get a Fred x reader where maybe the reader is ginny or Rons best friend since they were young and the weasleys are all protective of here especially the twins and maybe they find her upset cause he boyfriend cheated and Fred gets angry and ends up getting in a fight with the ex and then confesses?

Pairing: Fred Weasley x Reader

Word Count: 1.9k

Warnings: Mentions of cheating, violence (punching), blood

You walk down the corridors of school, on the search for your boyfriend, Adrian Pucey. You have a free period - your last period of the day before dinner - and you know he does, too, which usually you spend together, but today, you can’t find him.

“Ron,” you call when you see your best friend, who’s walking with Harry. He looks up at the sound of your voice and smiles, turning to say something to Harry before making his way over to you.

“Hey, Y/N. What’s going on?��

“Have you seen Adrian? I can’t find him anywhere.”

Ron frowns. He’s never been a fan of Adrian, with him being a Slytherin and all, but considering Adrian has always treated you well, Ron has kept his mouth shut over the last few months that you’ve been in your relationship.

“No, I haven’t,” Ron says, “but I’ll let him know you’re looking for him if I do.”

You smile and thank him before continuing your search. You turn down a hall of empty classrooms, not sure why he would be down here, but you decide to look anyway. You peer into the classrooms, stopping abruptly when you stop two figures in one of them, locked in what appears to be a passionate snog session. You blush at catching them, averting your eyes, but quickly do a double-take when you think that you recognize one of the figures.

You know that messy black hair and Quidditch jumper all too well.

You shove open the door to the classroom, and the two jump apart in shock at the noise. You make eye contact with Adrian, your heart dropping to your stomach, and immediately turn to leave, tears already burning at the backs of your eyes.

“No, no, Y/N, I promise, it wasn’t what it looked like, I-” he calls after you, but you keep walking away, past the few other students in the halls with your head down and tears blurring your vision. You don’t know how to feel; you’re devastated, because you didn’t think he would ever do something like this to you, but you’re also shaking from your rage, and as much as you want to scream at him, you don’t think you can do so without sobbing. So, you opt for the silent treatment.

Eventually Adrian gives up calling after you, so, you hide out in the prefects’ bathroom for the rest of the period. You don’t want to show your face at dinner, in case he tries to talk to you, but the grumble of your stomach in the silent bathroom says otherwise.

You push yourself up off the cold tile floor, wiping your tears away as you gaze at yourself in the mirror. Your eyes are red and your skin blotchy from crying your eyes out for the entire period, so you splash some water on your face until you think it’s slightly less noticeable. At least, you hope it is.

You venture out into the halls, already dreading whatever you’re about to face. Your heart aches. You really thought he was a good guy, but of course, you were wrong. Per usual. You always had dated the wrong guys, who all ended up breaking your heart in one way or another. You thought Adrian would be different, and you’re beyond mad at yourself for ever thinking he would be.

You don’t think you’ll ever find a good guy. I mean, there is someone you’ve always wanted, someone who you think would treat you well, but he’d never want you. Why would he?

You avoid eye contact with anyone as you make your way into the Great Hall, finding your normal spot between Ron and Ginny. You had hoped they wouldn’t ask questions, or that you could play off your heartbreak well enough that they wouldn’t notice, but then again, you’ve been friends with the Weasley family since forever. They’re all very protective of you, especially the twins, who are two years older than you. Of course someone is bound to notice.

Sure enough, before you even fully sit down, George - who’s sitting across from you - says, “What’s wrong, Y/N?”

You look up at him, forcing a very weak smile and shaking your head.

“Nothing,” you say quietly.

“That’s bullshit,” Fred adds, his eyebrows furrowing in his concern, “You can tell us.”

You look at Fred, and just as you’re about to admit what happened, Adrian comes up behind him. You look up at him, and Fred must notice the change in your expression as your stomach twists, because he spins around in his seat.

“Y/N, can I talk to you?” Adrian asks. You fight the urge to start crying again as you make eye contact with him, instead, mustering up all of your courage.

“No,” you say, “Adrian, we’re done.”

You don’t even have to look at Ron, Ginny, the twins, or any of the other people listening to know how shocked they probably appear. You watch as Adrian’s face drops, but he doesn’t budge.

“Please, Y/N,” he practically begs.

“Do you not understand what no means, Pucey?” Fred replies before you can, getting up out of his seat and standing up, towering over Adrian.

Adrian’s face immediately twists into a scowl as he looks up at Fred. You can’t find the words to tell Adrian to go away or Fred that it’s okay, you can handle it, as you watch the boys with wide eyes, fearing what’s about to happen next.

“Stay out of it, Weasley,” Adrian snaps, before turning back to you, pleading again, “Y/N, you don’t understand. It was a mistake, and if you’d just let me explain-”

Fred keeps his eyes trained on Adrian, as if daring him to speak to you one more time. You find your words, as the entirety of the Great Hall is listening in on your conversation:

“I think I understand perfectly, Adrian, because there’s not much to explain about why I found you kissing another girl.”

“You did what?” Fred shouts, and you watch as he pushes Adrian with his hands flat on his chest. Adrian falls back, his face contorting in rage. At this point, the other house tables have erupted into noise, students standing up and trying to get a good look at the fight.

Adrian pushes himself up, rushing towards Fred, as Fred yells something about how he just lost the greatest thing that ever happened to him and how he’s going to pay for hurting you.

Adrian’s fist connects with Fred’s jaw, knocking Fred’s head back, but Fred reacts instantly, socking Adrian straight in the nose. The blood starts flowing from Adrian’s nose immediately, and you yell at them to stop, but neither boy listens to you as more punches are thrown.

Thankfully, a few teachers have made their way over, and with a swish of her wand, McGonagall separates the two boys. You stand there, your heart pounding like crazy in your chest, looking between Fred and Adrian, who stand a few feet apart, giving each other the death glare. Adrian wipes his sleeve across his nose, smearing his blood all over the fabric. You’re sure that he’s going to have a black eye tomorrow, as well. Fred, on the other hand, looks better off, with seemingly only a puffy, split lip.

You’re at a loss for words as you watch Fred and Adrian be escorted out of the Great Hall by Snape, McGonagall, and Dumbledore. Fred looks over as he walks away, and you make eye contact with him for a split second. In that second, he looks you up and down before turning away. Your stomach flips at that, but in a good way.

You don’t know what to say to him later. Do you thank him? You know that Adrian will never bother you again, thanks to this, but you also know that the whole school is going to be talking about this: about Adrian cheating on you, and about Fred’s reaction.

Your heart feels like it’s being squeezed inside your chest as you think about that. Why did Fred react like that? I mean, you know he’s protective of you, but so are George, Ginny, and Ron, and they didn’t jump Adrian like that...

No, you shouldn’t get your hopes up. After all, you need time to recover from today, so you shouldn’t be trying to jump into anything else quite yet, either. But then again, it’s Fred. Your longtime crush, but also your best friend’s older brother. The one guy that you’ve wanted that you always thought was unattainable. He couldn’t possibly see you as anything more, could he?

You excuse yourself from dinner quietly, whispering to Ron that you’ll talk to him later. You’re hoping to find Fred whenever he’s done getting in trouble, but also, hoping to avoid Adrian. He’s the last person you want to see right now.

You hover around the area of Dumbledore’s office, and after several minutes, you hear footsteps. You peer around the corner to see Adrian, walking away from you, thankfully, towards the hospital wing, and Fred, headed towards you.

“Hey,” he says, quietly, offering you a small smile as well as he can, considering his lip is still busted.

“Hi,” you reply, still not sure what to say. You’re really not sure how to process anything that just happened, but you’re going to at least hopefully get Fred’s thoughts on everything.

“Hopefully that asshole learned his lesson,” Fred says bitterly as the two of you walk side by side down the empty corridor, “If he ever bothers you again, you let me know, okay? I’ll take care of him for you.”

“But why?” you ask, stopping in your tracks. Fred stops too, just looking at you, as if nonverbally asking you to elaborate. “Why do you care so much?”

Fred’s eyebrows furrow slightly, but he hesitates before speaking.

“You’re Ron’s best friend. Obviously I’d stand up for you, especially against a prick like Pucey. But...” he trails off, looking over you again. You stay silent, waiting for him to continue.

He looks up to meet your eyes, and this time, angry Fred is gone, and in his place is hesitant, vulnerable Fred. Something that you don’t see often.

“I like you, Y/N. A lot,” he says, and your heart somersaults.

“I know this probably isn’t the best time to tell you,” he continues, “considering everything that just happened, but, I just... it’s always been you, and it pisses me off to see you fall for these guys who treat you like shit instead of like a princess, which is what you deserve.”

For definitely not the first time today, you can’t find the words to reply, but this time, it’s for a good reason. For a moment, you forget about Adrian, about your heartbreak and about the fight, and you cross the small gap between you and Fred, pushing yourself up on your tiptoes to kiss him.

He tastes like the blood from his lip, but when you pull away, you smile, and he smiles back, almost in relief.

“Let’s get that lip of yours fixed up,” you say, “and we can talk more.”

“Absolutely,” Fred replies, reaching for your hand as the two of you start down the hall again. “I’m never going to let any guy hurt you again, Y/N. And I definitely won’t ever hurt you. You can trust me on that.”

And you truly believe him.

#fred weasley #fred weasley x reader #fred weasley x you #fred weasley fanfiction #fred weasley x y/n #fred weasley one shot #george weasley #george weasley x reader #george weasley fanfiction #fred and george #weasley twins #weasley twins x reader

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