I think the saddest part about secret life Joel is just how futile all of his actions are in that season. On a surface level i mean stuff like all of his more careful gameplay being cancelled out by a singular failed tnt trap but on a deeper level i specifically mean how that character contrasts with last life Joel. Joel is undoubtedly at his lowest point in the life series in Last Life. He goes down to red in session 2 and spends the majority of the rest of the season alone (and when he does have allies it’s only bc of a shared bloodlust). The red bloodlust completely takes over and this festers for nearly *8 sessions*. Not only that but the one time he is given a chance to restart and go back to yellow his old alliance member goes to red, leaving him alone again, and he is made boogeyman the next session. This, overall, has lasting consequences (he actually wanted to be fairly friendly at the beginning of LL, a stark contrast to how bloodthirsty he was at the beginning of DL or Lim L), and gained him a reputation that has never fully gone away. This is especially bad bc most people agree that LL was the most violent season (despite the lower kill counts in comparison to LimL) and was generally the worst and most traumatizing experience in the games for most people involved. Compare this to secret life, which everyone agrees was definitely the happiest season for Joel (or at least the most normal. His life is a tragedy no matter the season.) he has allies that (for the most part rip mumbo) stick with him until the end, he is friendlier with a larger group of people, and when he initially has to deal with the loss of some of them he has people who can ground him (bc as much as I adore the bad boys, grian was not qualified to do that). He was so hopeful that season, and was generally in a much healthier place mentally. And yet, despite how much he seemed to have grown, those 2 seasons ended so similarly for him it was almost comical. Joel engaged in a fight at the end, watched his ally get killed by scott, and is then forced into a 2v1 against Scott and another player that results in Scott taking his final life and him finishing 5th overall. I was describing both of those seasons here. After everything he did to grow, after all the improvements he had made, everything ended *exactly the same*

Making this about the bad boys for a second (because I’m me) they kinda suffer similar fates. Grian learned in the most tragic way possible that his allies were doomed to fail as long as he was with them no matter what, that this was not something that he could control by simply avoiding killing them himself. Even when he actively tries to save them (“let Tim do it he needs the time” “Joel you can kill me!”) he’ll still lose them in the end. I think this realization is also what made him stop trying to fight it, which resulted in him killing or almost killing his allies from previous seasons immediately afterwards (stabbing scar in the back and that one scene where grian kinda ominously jumps with a sword like he was about to crit and kill bigb after finding out he had 50 seconds left on his timer). It’s sorta like a way of telling the universe “fine. You win”

Similarly Jimmy. Well. I don’t think I need to explain that one. Even when he was given hope that things could be different, that he could break the curse, he died only a few minutes later. I still hold on to the narrative that the watchers only allowed that to happen to give Jimmy false hope that things can be different only to rip the rug out from under him and drive home the point that he is in a losing battle because by the time of secret life Jimmy was one of the only few people who genuinely still believed he had a chance. Obviously this is not something that can fully be a reality until he goes out first next season so if he doesn’t that’s a little awkward but just work with me here

TLDR; here is reason number 672 on why I believe the bad boys are the most doomed motherfuckers on this server and their alliance is a modern tragedy

I'm writing a post about Oops and why the episode is a complete disaster on every single level and while I was doing that I realized something;

Anyone who gets upset at Stolas's actions in the show is demonized by the narrative

Stella being upset that Stolas cheated on her? Nah, she was just mad that he slept with an imp. Also, she was an abusive bitch to begin with.

Octavia being upset over Stolas spending more time arguing with Stella and for paying more attention to an imp than her? She should cut him slack, after all, he's trying his best! (even though he isn't but ok).

Blitz hating Stolas for SAing him and how their relationship is only about Stolas wanting to sleep with him? He just hates Stolas for being a prince, oh and Stolas DID do some nice things for Blitz... off-screen...that doesn't automatically make his treatment of Blitz ok but pfft let's just ignore that right?

Every time someone in the show gets upset at Stolas's actions, they are portrayed as in the wrong for feeling that way or in Stella's case just turned into a one-dimensional Saturday morning cartoon villain. Cuz god forbid we hold this stupid owl accountable for ANYTHING right? We need to make him an UwU soft boy who did nothing wrong and everyone who gets upset at him is bad!

.....No. I'm sorry but, no. That's NOT how you make a sympathetic character, you don't demonize every other character to make the other one look more sympathetic and don't coddle that character and absolve them of all of their flaws. Stolas is not sympathetic, no matter how much Viv tries to demonize other characters around Stolas while coddling him, I won't EVER sympathize with this stupid owl. There's nothing about him you can sympathize with, he's just a horny, selfish asshole, and anyone who calls him out for it in some way is demonized by the narrative.

Fucking incredible, what a great and well-written character.

Thinking about the blue sword boys and the fact that even though they were one of the first alliances in the entire series the three of them never teamed up together with only two of them ever teaming up and the third being an enemy.

In 3rd life Grian was serving Scar and was opposing Martyn and BigB of the red army

In last life Grian and Martyn were teamed up as the southlanders with BigB in the fairies of the castle alliance (hilariously Martyn then betrayed the southlanders to join BigB and become the shadow alliance)

In double life Grian and BigB were secret soulmates with Martyn joining Ren (the guy BigB was cheating on) and Pearl to become the broken hearts club. Grian and BigB were part of the red team and Martyn the yellow team.

In limited life after Grian lost his bad boys he joined BigB's alliance of the nosy neighbours who were enemies of the Mean Gills, Martyn's alliance (not 100% sure I haven't finished watching the finale)

Somehow it was only until secret life that the three of their paths (at least in terms of actually being allies/enemies) never crossed which hilariously means that this alliance has a more convincing "bound by faith" narrative than desert duo, renchanting or box boys (not to throw any hate to them I LOVE those duos don't worry)

Something also needs to be said about how back in 3rd life BigB was the ONLY one to still use a diamond sword with Grian switching to a netherite sword (he no longer uses diamond, he's no longer by their side but he's still the same Grian from day one, a Grian who still loves BigB) and Martyn a diamond axe (he's still blue, he's still by BigB's side but their dynamic has changed into something unrecognisable, no longer two blue boys but rather a hand and a soldier in a brutal war).

I just think there's a lot of untapped potential with this trio that the fandom is sleeping on.

I hate when people say(*writers*) when zuko is an emo bad boy. When zuko acts "emo" and "badboy" as they say it's him reacting to his trauma and abuse as a kid(most of time. Zuko is still badass. But badboy no). Is it an excuse? No. But when zuko is acting that way in canon, his obsession with honor, his yelling, his moodiness, his short temper. That is the product of having his empathy literally beaten/burned out of him by his father(and mocked and emotionally abused by Azula). The reason Zuko is doing this whole thing is because he wants to please his father. Become someone he's not. His struggle of who his father wants to be with who he is. It's because of the abuse of his father and his family. As the series goes on you get more and more flashes of the person Zuko was and the person he can become. By the end of the series it's such a great contrast and Zuko is much more happier because he's with the gaang. His family. He got out of that abusive situation he was in and finally became himself. A dorky, empathetic, caring, skilled swords men, a balanced person. Does he still have moments of anger? Yes. But over all Zuko becomes a fully balanced person.

gasp! but if we don't call zuko a bad boy, however will we make sure people don't get any ideas about shipping him with katara?

jokes aside, you're absolutely right and i roll my eyes so hard when people point to bad things zuko did, or his behaviour pre-redemption as indisputable proof of the kind of person he'd be post-redemption. like you said, a lot of zuko's actions and mannerisms before day of black sun is a direct result of the trauma he suffered, and though that doesn't excuse him - and neither does the show allow it to - discounting it entirely is to erase the abuse zuko endured and how that shaped him.

using the first half of book 3 as evidence of zuko being a supposed bad boy irks me in particular because a) the narrative makes it pretty clear that this is zuko as the worst version of himself, the opposite of everything he actually is and could be, and b) he is stuck in an abusive household at the mercy of his abusers, in an actively life-threatening situation.

zuko knows that he is in a situation where he has no real agency, freedom or control. he knows that aang is alive, that azula has turned him into a scapegoat and that his life will be forfeit if his father finds out the truth. that is an incredibly terrifying and stressful situation to be put in and it's worsened by the fact that he can't even admit it - not just because doing so would mean accepting that he gave up everything that actually mattered in the catacombs to gain nothing in return, but also because no one around him will allow him to do so.

his girlfriend can't understand his experiences or his turmoil and doesn't seem to particularly want to, brushing off his anxieties and encouraging him to stay the course. he is manipulated by his father and gaslighted by his sister, aware deep down that he is entirely under their control and that they have a vested interest in keeping him helpless, yet forced to pretend as though nothing is wrong. he is isolated from the one person who could help - his uncle - physically and emotionally, both because visiting iroh puts zuko in danger, and because zuko's choices have created a rift in their relationship.

all of this compounds the psychological stress zuko is experiencing, forcing him into a constant state of fight-or-flight, and this context is vital to understanding many of the decisions he makes and how he behaves in the first half of book 3.

(this is why i don't agree with the take that hiring combustion man is an ooc moment for zuko because even though i think the idea of combustion man himself is stupid - not to mention disrespectful to the hindu origins it's pulling from - it's a fundamentally desperate move, and zuko at this point is more desperate than he's ever been.)

that's why it's unlikely that zuko post-redemption would behave similarly since many of the factors that contributed to his anger, hostility and moodiness would no longer exist! judging zuko's future behaviour based on a time when he was constantly abused, gaslighted and threatened is just not an accurate or fair means of measurement, especially since we know what he's like at his best. the zuko we see with the gaang still has a bit of a short fuse, sure, but he's also sincere, honest, awkward, shy and far happier than he's ever been. because shocker, people tend not to act the same way in healthy, supportive environments as they do in abusive, traumatic ones. who would've thought?

people who make this argument also usually tend to compare zuko to aang, especially to glorify how aang remains cheerful and peaceful despite his trauma, and... no. just no. first of all, the show barely gives a fuck about developing aang's trauma the way it does zuko's so of course it seems to affect him less, and secondly, there's something to be said about how trauma responses like aang's are a lot more palatable and comfortable for audiences than responses like zuko's, or even katara's in the southern raiders.

anger or moodiness, or wanting to punish the people who hurt you, are not inherently wrong ways to react when you've been wronged and traumatized. praising aang for remaining cheerful and forgiving while calling zuko a bad boy for being angry and moody implies a sense of moral superiority that comes with reacting to trauma in the "right" way, which is both inaccurate and insensitive.

zuko will never be aang, and that's fine. he doesn't have to be. he ends the show reclaiming everything his abusers tried to take from him, having found himself and his destiny, in a place of healing that is all his own. that is an incredibly meaningful and powerful narrative, and the last thing zuko deserves is to have all of his complexity and development stripped just to be reduced to the tired trope of a "bad boy" when he was never one in the first place.

‘When’s the White Haired Anime Boy Going to Appear?’

For awhile, I often wondered about the phenomena of ‘When is the white-haired anime boy going to appear?’ posts during the heyday of Eva content on tumblr (2013-14). If you were around the Eva fandom on tumblr, or new to the show around that time like I was, you were probably bewildered too. It’s part of what got me into the show other than the character struggles and interesting worldbuilding.

Sure, you could chalk it up to people wanting to see more of Kaworu’s cute, but awkward mannerisms coupled with cryptic, though nonthreatening words. The bath scene of episode 24 is heavily quotable. There was also the influx of ‘headless’ memes (see: Pop Goes My Heart!).

But Eva was watched during many people’s adolescent years. High and low years. Critical years.

Evangelion itself is no stranger to struggles in formative years.

(talks about abuse under the cut)

I’ve always read Shinji as an audience surrogate because of how he’s at the center of these issues. Many of us have a Gendo: We hate them, yet we seek their validation, because unfortunately, they’re all we have. And yet they’re so emotionally cold and self-serving. 

Much of the series sees Shinji in less than optimal environments. His father is cold and distant. While Misato takes him in, she also makes him (and Asuka) fight angels due to her issues with her own father. Shinji and Asuka’s relationship within the household isn’t the greatest, either. They’re both emotionally damaged kids who can’t really properly sort through the baggage due to their environment. They’re mainly shouldering the burden of adult issues during their early teen years. 

They’re face to face with the open horrors of war. 

Kaworu comes in toward the tail end of the series. He asks nothing of Shinji but the narrative hardly portrays him as the sudden, immaculate savior. They get to know each other, and due to his deep traumas, Shinji is of course wary because being open means getting hurt again. So he puts his guard up. The more they interact, the more they both get to know each other. 

‘Why am I telling all this to Kaworu?’

This is less of a wariness of who Kaworu is and more of Shinji realizing he spilled part of his heart about his strained relationship with his father. Shinji realizes that he feels open, but not vulnerable. Kaworu feels the same way, replying to Shinji’s answers with ‘I think I may have been born to meet you, Shinji-kun.’

I sound like a broken record saying this but, Kaworu isn’t just his own person. He represents an ideal. This is a point I’m totally partisan to. That tinges of kindness can and do exist, even when one’s world is hell. 

On that end, I believe that, at least in the original series, that Hikari is Asuka’s Kaworu. Asuka’s guarded persona manifests as being proud and somewhat brash, but it’s a product of neglect. This worsens when she comes to understand in her environment that her accomplishments mean next to nothing. That she’s replaceable. 

The adults in Eva, even the adults of the adults get away with murder and seeing that as a victim of abuse drives a visceral rage I haven’t felt in years. And I’m sure this ire, this rising embitterment stirs in you too, if you ever lived in such an environment.

A lot of us were forced to wade through toxic environments for years while growing up. Had our share of bad relationships that still leave marks to this day.  A lot of us are victims chasing the closure that will sadly, never come because many of the people who hurt you walk away when they have much to answer for. Even if they do answer, is there any guarantee that they’ll be genuine?

When Shinji is with Kaworu and when Asuka is around Hikari they’re far less guarded. For the latter, we see a side of Asuka not seen before: one that’s tender. One that doesn’t feel burdened and otherwise ignored.

And that too, could describe that someone in our lives. The world doesn’t feel as daunting. You realize your worth and that you can be yourself when you’re around them. The barriers come down slowly and you stop saying sorry. You don’t feel as if they’re demanding that that happens. It simply just. Does. The people you hate or ignore your grievances seem insignificant in your life, even if for a moment. 

When we ask ‘When’s the white haired anime boy going to appear?’ what we actually mean is ‘When is our support system going to appear?’

I know that one day you will find your Kaworu. You deserve better than an apology. You deserve peace.

whats your take on the “palebird not caring about talltail leaving” scene? i always thought it was WEIRD, like yes she was a little distant because she was blatantly depressed, but not to the point where she would straight up not care about her first son leaving potentially forever?? it feels like one of those scenes the writers put in to make the The Woman look bad so the Bad Dad isnt aaaasssss bad.

I feel like many of my problems with it come from the end of TR being a mess. It sets up a ton of plot threads and either goes somewhere strange with them or drops them completely.

Palebird's is one of the ones that just gets dropped.

On one hand, I'm glad that Palebird isn't demonized, but they don't seem to know what to do with her. She's cold towards Tallkit and increasingly short and snippy as he gets older, reacts in a way that's pointed out as aloof and uncaring when he leaves and when he comes back, and Talltail takes it like betrayal when she moves on with a new mate... and then they just don't really have a thesis for that.

In the end, Talltail never stops and teases out his feelings on her, they never show a conversation where some characters talk about why she acts that way, Tallkit's upbringing isn't contrasted with his halfsib's upbringings... their last talk is actually about Shrewclaw and the kits his wife's going to give birth to. Talltail's BULLY.

This book that shows an abusive father and a nasty little jackass redeems both of these boys, making a sharp 180 to say they Weren't So Bad, but has barely any interest in Palebird. When she gives Tallstar one of his 9 lives, it's laughably short;

That's it. That's the resolution. She doesn't even act happy to see him return, they have a conversation about Talltail's bully, and then after she's dead he's like, "I'll never doubt she loves me ever again."

Like, ok? All right?? Did we just miss the falling action or did Ms. Hunter not feel like it that day?

In general I have so many feelings about Tallstar's Revenge... I can't say I HATE it because it is fun to read, and I like a lot of the things it lays down, but I can't LOVE it for how every step forward it feel like 2 steps back. And the differences in the narrative's sympathy towards Sandgorse (emotionally abusive and committing child endangerment because his son is disappointing him) vs his wife Palebird (completely unsupported while displaying a near textbook case of PPD) are like a tiny little microcosm of the problems in WC.

Sandgorse gets a whole journey dedicated towards finding out he was actually a hero who gave his life saving Sparrow, abuse forgotten, but Palebird... exists, and Talltail's mad she had new kids until he's suddenly not.

So in a nutshell, my take is that this soup is bland and watery. Look at all these complicated potential feelings they just cast out the window so they can talk about Shrewclaw the Bully and his Very Sad Death.

There's much better individual examples of how the narrative tends to treat their male and female characters (which is why I compare Sparkpelt and Crookedstar more than I compare Crookedstar and Palebird), but Palebird's a good place to talk about the pervasive disinterest that WC has in its girls. And how much of a waste it is.

Thoughts about the finale, and my utter confusion about Izzy Hands

What I hated about Izzy's death wasn't him dying. I love a tragic arc, and although Con O'Neill elevated every scene he was in, it would have been ok if they'd handled his death better.

To have him die with only 10mins of the episode left (and this might even be the last ever episode!) was the first terrible decision. Everything that was built up over 2 seasons had to be resolved in a few minutes, we don't see any repercussions for anyone Izzy was important to - Ed, the crew and even Stede.

But the main criticism is the 180° turn the show made for his character arc in the last episode (or more precisely, in Izzy's last scene) and in David Jenkins' latest interviews.

Since season 1, I kept asking myself the same two questions:

What function does Izzy Hands have in the narrative? What is the nature of his relationship with Ed?

And the answers changed drastically from S1 to S2, and got more and more complex and intriguing.

Until the finale.

Izzy Hands as a plot device for the main couple

In S1, Izzy was an antagonist. His function in the narrative was to stand in the way of the Ed/Stede romance, of Ed growing and finding happiness and to move the plot along. He brought a lot of humour to almost every interaction he was in - he was such a fish-out-of-water character, clashing with everyone and constantly losing.

He was barely human - he was a pirate cliché.

But there was also so much going on in the background - his quiet desparation, his obvious love and longing for Ed, and these hints of a fascinating backstory between the two of them. This is what many fans picked up on, and going into S2 we hoped that we'd get more of this (for me personally the most important thing was clarification on Izzy's importance to Ed).

And then S2 came along and boy, were all of our expectations exceeded.

Suddenly, Izzy wasn't a plot device anymore. He was one half of the most intense (and interesting, sorry Stede) couple in the show. It was even confirmed by the showrunner that he was in a love triangle with the main couple!

In the first 2 episodes, we got so much more than we ever expected. At the end of Ep2, Izzy broke the lifeline with Ed, both of them almost dying in the process. He went on a journey of discovering who and what he even was without Ed (and right up to his death he was still deeply unhappy and broken, even though he was on the right path).

Izzy suddely became a fascinating character in his own right, with his arc of healing and self-acceptance and his inability (for now) to keep himself from sliding back into this relationship with his other half. He was blaming himself for everything that had happened. He was still so entangled with this man he built his whole life around. He still had a long way to go and a lot to work through (the same also applies to Ed btw).

But he also became the crew's unicorn, doing Izzy things (still related to Ed, always to Ed) but you could feel him becoming more himself. Slowly, Izzy's real personality started to shine through and we realized - this man is fascinating on his own accord. He's a respected and very capable pirate. He came from nothing and fought his way up. He's a really good teacher. He's creative and sensitive. He also cares about other people than Ed a lot.

Viewers who hated him or were indifferent to him in S1 suddenly became interested - this man's journey was fascinating and, most importantly, it wasn't at all finished. There was so much yet to come, and we wanted to see it.

Does this sound like a plot device to you? If it doesn't, bad news.

At the end of the final episode, Izzy is suddenly back where he was in S1.

He dies in a completely unnecessary way - almost as if how he died didn't matter. And it didn't matter, because in the end, Izzy Hands' journey didn't matter anymore. All that mattered was that he died and how it affected the main couple.

On his deathbed, Izzy is saying exactly what Ed needs to hear to move on. He absolves him of any guilt. Ed is ready. Izzy has played his part, he's ready to die.

Notably, nothing is really resolved for poor Izzy. Even if Ed says he doesn't want him to go, it's because Ed is losing his only family. He doesn't tell Izzy he loves him, or that he's important to him as a person, as his oldest friend, as the one who knows him best.

In the end, Izzy's function in the narrative, even after everything that happened in S2, was to be an obstacle to the Ed/Stede romance, to Ed growing and finding happiness. He had to die to free Ed of his Blackbeard persona and because "it's nice that Blackbeard is upset by it" (WTF).

The problem is, for the rest of the season, that wasn't Izzy's role in this show at all and I felt completely blindsided.

More than a spurned, jilted lover

"I guess it's a journey of redemption, but I think it's more a journey of finding out, who is he to Blackbeard?" According to Jenkins, Izzy is "more than a spurned, jilted lover." "What is that relationship about? And I think by the end of the season it kind of becomes a little unexpected of who they are to each other and what they mean to each other." (source)

I also made a poll about that question after Ep3 if anyone's interested.

The answer is, apparently, the two of them were Blackbeard. Or, Izzy was the brains behind the operation. Or, Izzy egged Eddie on to give in to his darker impulses (which, I think, was alluded to quite strongly in the murder/suicide scene).

I mean, yes. That was one of the options on my poll that I was quite sure of, and I think most of us suspected this even in S1.

Izzy was Eddie's only family. Ok, I think family doesn't quite express what was going on between them in S2, but that certainly was one aspect of their relationship.

This is all fine. I can see that being built up to over the two seasons.

But.

"And then there was the realization that [Izzy] is kind of a mentor to Blackbeard and that he is kind of a father figure to Blackbeard. It felt nice to have him die and have Blackbeard be upset by it, because Blackbeard killed his father. But this is a father figure that he’s losing that it’s hard for him; it's sad and he doesn't want him to go." (source)

This is not fine. Not at all.

Izzy is not Blackbeard's mentor. Izzy is obviously in love with Ed (and Ed is fully aware of that). Izzy might have been a mentor-like presence in Ed's life when they were younger, but when we meet them in S1 Izzy is more like an overworked housewife cleaning up behind her disinterested husband. Izzy would do anything for Ed (apart from killing him) and is ready to die at one point because of him. Izzy is desperate, grabbing onto the scraps Ed throws his way.

Where, where does Izzy seem like a mentor to Ed in all of this? A mentor is supposed to be at least at the same level or above but Izzy is clearly not.

And in the death scene, suddenly, that's all there is left of their complex, intense dynamic.

Izzy took young Eddie in and fed his darkness. He was Eddie's only family, binding him to himself out of selfishness in the process.

So that's their unexpected "who they are to each other". Izzy taught Ed everything he knows (which is actually bad for him) and it'd probably been better if they'd never even met.

And don't get me wrong, I don't completely disagree with this take. As a part of their dynamic, this is a fascinating concept - but only if this wasn't the end.

Because there was so much more, so much promise of a complicated, mutually destructive relationship that nevertheless was also full of love. Those two seemed so intertwined (and I'll never forgive Stede for stealing that for himself and Ed). Ed is Izzy's missing half and Izzy is Ed's.

And I still believe that, without Izzy, Ed isn't complete.

And with this rushed conclusion, and all the mess left behind and never even looked at, Ed will never be happy.

Conclusion

I think what hurts the most is, that with Izzy dead and their last conversation being that reductive, all possibilities of an exploration of all these complex and fascinating aspects of their relationship are now closed. I know this show isn't about Ed and Izzy. But Izzy is a big part of what made Ed interesting, and he's a brilliant character in his own right. We could have gotten so much more (even if it's only allusions, we really don't need everything spelled out).

I guess I expected too much from this show - but with good reason. The actors gave it their all. S2 set up such an intricate dynamic (and it was probably overly ambitious with only 4 hours of screentime!). I've never gotten so much of what I wanted from an outsider character in any show.

And then it let us down in the last 10 minutes.

And even if we hadn't gotten a season 3 - the setup was all there for meta, for fanfiction. Why ruin it all with killing off Izzy for all the wrong reasons and making their last conversation all about Ed "outliving his mentor".

To quote Prince Ricky: "Oh, my goodness. You've just grown so tedious."

Still, I love everything they've done in this show except for the ending. I will watch it again, many times, and enjoy the drama, the humour and the complexity. But I will try to forget these interviews and convince myself Izzy's senseless death was just a dream :).

I swear Rhaelyas will cling to their delusions with bloody fingers nails if they can could. Ned Stark doesn't think anything bad about Rhaegar. Like dude, the grand sweeping statement was Rhaegar wasn't the type to go to brothels and then comparing the child prostitute who was asking Ned to tell the king how wonderful their baby is to the memory of Lyanna. And who else doesn't Ned think a lot about? AERYS. Almost like Ned as Trauma and doesn't like to think about it.

Extremely delusional - it serves the narrative for Ned Stark to not think on Rhaegar Targaryen and we are told he actively suppresses him from his mind.

Suddenly, uncomfortably, he found himself recalling Rhaegar Targaryen. Fifteen years dead, yet Robert hates him as much as ever.

For the first time in years, he found himself remembering Rhaegar Targaryen. He wondered if Rhaegar had frequented brothels; somehow he thought not.

Ned Stark has trauma. Absurd amounts of trauma after he loses his entire family and he suppresses and avoids.

Ned Stark doesn’t spend time lavishing on thoughts of torturing those who are dead. Ned Stark has absurd amounts of grace for those who have wronged him. Ned Stark is compassionate to those he deems innocent.

Ned Stark doesn’t think much on Aerys Targaryen except to describe him as a Mad King? The man who burned his father and brother alive? Not just that but actively emotionally tortured them before their death? Logically wouldn’t he want vengeance on Daenerys Targaryen for what her father did to his beloved father and brother?

He doesn’t because unlike most characters in ASOIAF Ned Stark is satisfied with those he went to war against having died. He doesn’t sit around wishing them ill because that’s simply not his character.

Despite what Aerys did to House Stark Ned speaks in defense of Daenerys Targaryen.

This time, Ned resolved to keep his temper. “Your Grace, the girl is scarcely more than a child. You are no Tywin Lannister, to slaughter innocents.

When Robert retorts something along the lines of what do Targaryens know about honor? Why not ask Lyanna?

Ned responds by first stating Lyanna was avenged

“You avenged Lyanna at the Trident,” Ned said, halting beside the king. Promise me, Ned, she had whispered.

Ned doesn’t actively ever disagree with Robert. He instead sits somewhere in neutrality not praising but not hating.

Perhaps because he is traumatized. Haunted by his sister’s dying wish that we presume was to protect her son. The son of Rhaegar Targaryen. If Robert is right and Targaryens have no honor what does that mean for Jon Snow? For his beloved nephew, for his sister’s son? Her dying wish? Ned loves Robert and knows he’s wrong in this. They can’t all have been bad. Surely Jon is innocent regardless of his father? Surely if Lyanna went willingly he wasn’t all bad?

This is of course disregarding sections of the text that people love to ignore such when he at one point even compares Rhaegar Targaryen to Tywin Lannister romanticizing Robert avenging himself on them.

If he could prove that the Lannisters were behind the attack on Bran, prove that they had murdered Jon Arryn, this man would listen. Then Cersei would fall, and the Kingslayer with her, and if Lord Tywin dared to rouse the west, Robert would smash him as he had smashed Rhaegar Targaryen on the Trident. He could see it all so clearly.

Ned Stark isn’t a clear cut character he’s nuanced and a key point that people ignore in using him to defend Rhaegar is that once again it has nothing to do with Rhaegar and everything to do with Jon Snow & Lyanna. Ned has spent years raising the son of Rhaegar with all the trauma that comes with it and he loves him because of Lyanna. He refuses to think on Rhaegar and when he does what does it serve to speak horribly about the father of his nephew? The boy who is a Targaryen like it or not. The boy whose life he vowed to protect (at least that’s my interpretation).

No Ned makes it clear that when he and Robert rose in rebellion it was just. However it was unjust to blame the likes of Daenerys, Viserys, Rhaenys, Aegon, or Jon Snow for the crimes of their fathers. They are innocent.

Ned never extends that level of innocence to Rhaegar or Aerys - he doesn’t think on what happened to them as unjust - and I think that speaks volumes.

When Ned is horrified at the level of hatred Robert has towards the Targaryens he isn’t horrified on behalf of Rhaegar. He’s horrified on behalf of the innocents like Jon, like brutalized Rhaenys & Aegon.

Ultimately Ned didn’t know Rhaegar and refuses to think of him and when he does what does he have to say? Between remembering the by all reports fine young prince who perhaps in some lights looks like Jon and surely doesn’t visit brothels- does Jon?….. He wondered if Rhaegar had frequented brothels; somehow he thought not.…And the man he remembers fondly as having his chest caved him by his best friend. and if Lord Tywin dared to rouse the west, Robert would smash him as he had smashed Rhaegar Targaryen on the Trident. He could see it all so clearly…

Ultimately, I’m of the belief that Lyanna Stark went willingly at first and later realized the gravity of her mistake, seeing as Ned Stark had to fight to the death the guards left by Rhaegar so he could be by her side before she died alone.

In the end she wanted to come home and have her son safe. Ned Stark accomplished that for her and her alone.

so, then, what IS up with miguel o’hara’s moral backbone?

lol sorry if y’all’re sick of my 2099 soapboxing. anyways.

while i understand where the reading of “miguel is a morally bankrupt evil scientist and his spider-man is just a violent shitheel” comes from, i just... really can’t ever get behind it, based on what we see in the text of SM2099 v1 (1992-1996) itself.

like, don’t get me wrong-- from our first introduction to the guy, we very quickly learn that he has been a cog in the machine for one of the 2099 imprint’s Big Bads, the ruthless megacorporation in charge of the United States’ East coast: Alchemax.

..but. like.

the whole point of his origin story is changing that. the initial catalyst for his Spidering--getting roofied by Tyler when he tries to quit his job--would not have happened if he had no moral compass to speak of.

narratively, it’s less that miguel himself is changed, after he gets his powers, but that his perception of the world has changed.

just-- just bear with me, yeah?

see, for a lot of his life, miguel was a perfect cog in a shitty machine, and he did everything he was expected to without even thinking to stray from the path set down for him by his biological father and by alchemax overall.

and, then, suddenly, that’s all ripped from him in an instant. and miguel’s left floundering in the water.

he’s no longer on the winning team-- more than that, he realizes that he probably never even was on the right side of things, to begin with.

miguel o’hara’s most-quoted line is his response to the infamous “great power,” bit: Great responsibility? No. With great power comes great guilt.

he’s repressed, and he’s a hypocrite, but a guy can only turn a blind eye so far when something he knows is wrong is happening right in front of his face.

as soon as it’s even suggested to him, he immediately steps out of line and tries to put his foot down on absolutely not using a human test subject for his personal spider-man project. when stone brushes him off and makes them go through with human testing anyways, and then the subject dies, miguel doesn’t hesitate to turn up his nose and walk out right then and there on the spot.

his reward for it, of course, is an ice-cold dose of Reality.

from there, his blinders get pulled harshly off his face, and mig realizes that he really doesn’t want to keep being the person that he has been. his life has been wasted sitting idly by and letting bad things happen because all he knows is helpless compliance, right up until he goes and gets himself The Fly’ed into spider-man.

and once that happens, and he Realizes it, he starts to fight back.

that’s how the run is kick-started, in the very first three issues!

the first ten issues of spider-man 2099 (1992) follow miguel stumbling from a very sheltered life, having been thrust head-first into navigating a world that is not only deeply, deeply unjust, but also wants him very, very dead.

he don’t got a dead uncle to motivate him! all he’s got it his own fear and an inner desire to use his new abilities to try and make the world a better place.

hell, the first time he put on the costume, ol’ miggy boy wasn’t even doing so for the purpose of becoming a superhero in his off-time-- it was just an old spare in his closet that he threw on in a desperate attempt to Not Fucking Die as a bounty hunter tracked him to his home.

it’s only later on, after he’s had time for it all to sink in, that miguel realizes that he can actually meaningfully help the people who had been cast aside by the same society that had previously lifted him up above them.

as much as he whines and bitches and moans about it, he never seriously considers throwing in the towel and hanging up the costume for good. he may hate what has happened to him, but he never once seems to hate what he can now do with his powers, vis-à-vis challenging injustice.

mig’s often stuck between a rock and a hard place, what with the kind of world he lives in. it’s why he don’t work well when he’s stranded away from his dimension. peter can get his villains locked up just fine and dandy, but miguel’s world isn’t like ours like that. it’s brutal and it’s very very much established across the imprint that earth-928 (marvel 2099) is a kill-or-be-killed place to live.

despite how people harp on him not having a no-kill rule, miguel honestly hasn’t even killed enough people to count on one hand; the first was completely by accident, even, and the second told him to his face that if spider-man let him live he’d just keep being a cannibal gang-boss because no one else ever has or would try to oppose him.

is killing people the answer? not if you have any other option. but. mig ain’t a friendly neighborhood superhero. he’s just doing what he thinks is right in the moment while scared absolutely shitless for his life most of the time.

now, i don’t mean to defend his every action--miguel o’hara isn’t a saint, and, good god, but he’s made some questionable choices--but. at the end of the day, he’s still shown throughout the run to be trying to be better.

and, i dunno. maybe i’m just a sentimental little sap, but a story about somebody who finally “wakes up” and struggles to build a life worth being proud of after years of having shut down from heavy early-life trauma? that hits, man.

hits real close to home, to be honest. learning to Live after so long simply Surviving is fuckin’ hard, man.

“laena/rhaenyra wasn’t even a paragraph why are you so mad that they were scrapped for the show?”

oh i don’t know janice maybe because it being in a historical text written 200 years after the fact by ultra religious MEN who despise women and queerness all together IS noteworthy? ‘more than fond of’ is an allegory used multiple times in the asoiaf main timeline to describe romantic feelings and you’re mad that people read that phrase the way it was intended? not to mention it’s used in conjunction with ‘while the princess misliked her stepmother’ like COME ON at this point you’re being deliberately stupid. i’m sorry they weren’t scissoring each other for 200 pages but in actuality what did you expect? acting like rhaenyra and alicent were so so in love when we were only shown a couple scenes of them getting along max during a six month period. the only way that ship will ever be canon is through the actors. the show leaves crumbs for asshats like you because they know you’ll bend over backwards to defend them. apparently it’s still okay to queerbait in the year of our lord 2k24; along with sidelining a woman of color because diversity was important until it came to fleshing out a black woman and her canon sapphicness.

laena, for the limited time we had her character, was fiery, bold, and adventurous. she claimed the largest and oldest dragon alive at 12! the show choosing to racebend her only to mitigate her affect on the plot is gross! they did it to keep the ‘what if they were in love’ guessing game and gift it to a white woman. a white woman who vehemently HATED rhaenyra. we just wanted the story to have complex and multilayered characters rhaenyra has NO FRIENDS besides the first *two* episodes that is the definition of shitty storytelling. a targaryen princess at the height of her families power the literal protagonist of the dance and you all want her to be a lonely spinster boy mom who’s not like the other girls so bad when she was literally surrounded by women all of whom she cared about dearly. multiple relationships with others helps bring a story to life and would’ve helped tremendously with making the dumb as rocks audience understand rhaenyra’s character and how she was a girls girl in a time where you really couldn’t afford to be one which is why it’s so tragic when she starts turning on them during the dance but nooo the ONLY relationship that matters is a busted up friendship that the writers have in a chokehold for no good reason and fuck everyone else that these women might care about right? fuck rhaenyra fuck laena fuck alicent fuck their kids fuck their GRANDKIDS they’re all just mostly blank slates anyway what impact is their death going to have on the narrative? next to nothing because of these fuckass decisions. let’s just all agree to throw stones at glass houses THAT would be more fulfilling for the show than half of the shit they gave us.

see maybe this is just me, but As A Character Designer Myself i think the rain code designs are some of komatzuzaki's best work yet. they're weird and campy and yet they work so well. i do think the characters' personalities shine through on first and second glances. I don't even usually like neon colors but I think the combo of bright neons with understated neutrals is so fascinating and memorable. no one else does it like this. a lot of the small details on the designs are actually packed with symbolic meaning (esp. yakou's - I'd love to see you unpack all that) and the overabundance of logos is evocative of the corpo-cyber-future setting. the rain code designs feel much more cohesive in terms of that setting than the DR designs do - which makes sense bc DR is more about disparate people being united by their circumstances - dialed to 11 in v3 where the designs are at their wackiest. but this ain't about her this is about rain code.

I love that characters you wouldn't expect (zange, fubuki, priest...) have weird facial piercings and tattoos. I love that the animal ears are never explained. I love desuhiko's tboy swag and yeah, the golden yellow and the dirty blonde and the neon yellow accents don't look great together - and I think the clashing colors work wonders to establish his personality. this kid dressed himself and thought it would make him look cool. you idiot. aphex's hat is stupid. zilch's ears are stupid. vivia's bandages-instead-of-clothes are stupid - and yet reading into that choice is very insightful. (he puts on a lazy air but if he was really lazy he'd just put on an oversized emo band tee instead of wrapping himself up like a mummy every day. he actually does care about how he comes across to people.)

there's a few videos about fashion YouTubers judging the DR fits, and at one point they brought in Yuma and shinigami and they hated yuma's outfit so much because it's dorky and they wouldn't wear it. but like!!! that's the whole point is that it's dorky!!!! his little trainee shorts. his stupid fkin bowl cut making him look like a little boy whose mom still cuts his hair. (which of course turns out to be a meaningful deception. his haircut influences how the audience and other characters see him to great effect.) and yet he has the coolest fkin shoes ever and when he puts his hat and cape on he's got such an iconic silhouette. teru teru bozu lookin ass /pos.

anyway yeah. i wasnt a fan of komatzuzaki's designs in the beginning but over the years ive come around. I'm a firm designer that a character design doesn't necessarily have to look good to be a good character design. I like it when they aren't afraid to make the characters look cringe - I love cringe. I eat it up. thanks for coming to my Ted talk.

Even more perspectives! I think your take of 'bad-looking designs can be good actually' is a great way to look at Rain Code's characters. To put it simply, it's unique! 'Nobody does it like Komatsuzaki'-kind of campiness. Honestly, Rain Code's designs remind me a lot of Danganronpa 2's designs in terms of color. That cast is full of much brighter colors compared to the lesser saturation of DR1 n V3's cast colors. And it makes sense cause it's a brighter game overall in terms of setting and upping the ridiculousness of the killing game in every way! Rain Code sorta follows that with its own designs by crankin' up the neons to really ride the idea home that this game is wacky right from the get-go and it's a Resident Evil game in disguise! And y'know what Resident Evil loves to indulge in? Campiness! Rain Code wears its inspirations on its sleeve, and that's totally chill.

As a sidenote to your sidenote regarding Yakou's clothing details, I have actually written a bit about how he might perceive them, but I haven't yet written about what they could truly mean in terms of how they relate to him narratively. The meaning of the phoenix patterns are painfully obvious though heh. And I also greatly appreciate the recognition that Vivia really does care about his appearance despite his 'laziness'. His hedonistic lifestyle includes his own attire, wearing whatever he pleases no matter the effort! Like I've preached before, Vivia has the energy, he just prefers to use it only when necessary.

Thank you for the TED talk *golf claps*

Round 3: Chara Dreemurr (Undertale) vs. Jason Todd (DC)

Propaganda below the cut

Chara Dreemurr (?):

They were constantly blamed for killing all of monster kind in the no mercy route, despite players choosing to go that route. People ignored that they sacrificed themselves to attempt to free the monsters from the underground.

----

everyone wants to blame their own actions (genocide route) on chara, who is a literal child. i don’t know how to tell you this but you are the one playing the game. it’s about YOUR CHOICES. chara is there is punish you for that, you killed the only family that ever loved them! how could they not be upset at that! also if you don’t mind, here’s a good video essay on the subject 

Jason Todd (~12):

Most of the Tumblr fandom likes this guy but if you step outside this website then wham so many people say he got what he deserved as a kid and Batman can't be cool if he's a dad so it's important for Batman to trash-talk his dead child constantly so we can all agree what a bad idea it was. Also wanna highlight that a lot of the records we have from fans at the time were clear they disliked Robin for BEING a child. Like a lot of the little dude characters in this tournament are treated too harshly for making an ugly choice and the fans aren't being understanding or sympathetic that the choice is made by a child character who is immature and not developed and strong enough to make a good choice and stuff. But THIS little dude was specifically hated FOR being a child. People wanted tough loner guy Batman not Batdad and his little buddy. The first Robin would drive back from college and guest star sometimes and be advertised as the Teen Wonder and people were like yeah okay but then Batman actually starts being a single parent for a child with needs and people were like UGH not the BOY Wonder. Today pretty much everywhere you see Batman fans saying Batman is better solo, no kid, it's not realistic to have a kid, a kid shouldn't be in the movies blah. Even if the comics they always find a way to send away the new kid so that Batman never has to parent. So all the Robins are being excluded from the narrative but I think this one is THE symbol of Batman fans hating a child character just for being a child.

-

Robin, Jason Todd, THE hated child character. In the 1980s, Batman comics had become increasingly dark and gritty. According to editor O'Neil himself, the courted audience wasn't kids but 19-40 year old men with disposable income. Batman's child sidekick, Robin, was offensively campy and childish. Fans called him wimpy, annoying, dumb, bratty, etc. Also people complained that Batman acting like an affectionate dad was unmanly and gay. Robin acts violent and emotional and people are like "ew he's so childish and emotional"—and then Batman literally acts just as murderously and emotionally within literally the same exact story and people are like "wow he's so dark and tortured". So in 1988 (after brutalizing Batgirl to get rid of her for being too bright and nice and kid-friendly), DC held a paid poll for fans to vote for Robin to live or die. O'Neil claims he heard a fan (a grown man with a dayjob as a lawyer) programmed a phone to spam kill votes. One fanguy claimed that he sold his Mercedes to buy kill votes (probably an exaggeration but still). By less than 1% margin, the vote decided to kill Robin in a spectacularly violent way. Anyway the 1989 Batman movie brought in a huge wave of new child comicbook fans who liked the new Robin (a very cool teenage high school Robin with a driver's license and a girlfriend), and DC started a separate Robin-less Batman series called Legends of the Dark Knight to make the anti-Robin writers and fans happy. But to this day, many fans agree it was a good idea to kill off the other Robin so that his foolish death reminds other characters to never be childish and stupid again. Bonus: the current Robin (usually a traumatized 10-year-old) has also been facing some pretty loud hatred for over 15 years.

some fan attitudes about jason todd's morality are insane. no I don't condone murder in real life. but he's not??? a real person???? most importantly he's operating in a fictional reality where rehabilitation is proven impossible, imprisonment has proven impossible, and single individuals are responsible for more deaths than anybody since the fucking nazis. obviously he's in the right. if anything, bruce, who I should agree with since I think murder is wrong, gives the weakest fucking argument in utrh against murder. like utrh told this truly incredible story about a boy's irreparably damaged relationship with his father and positioned us to make a truly gorgeous point where the villain is both right and wrong and the hero both is right and wrong and then it fucked up bc batman isn't right!!! it isn't about his own personal inability to control himself, or at least it shouldn't be!!! but that's how it was positioned so it came across as jason todd is obviously right and honestly yeah the joker should die. there is no other in-universe option bc the joker cannot get better and he cannot be kept away from harming people. jason's been through a lot of writers since then and at first he's an outright ultra-violent villain who hates the batfam and later he's a tortured anti-hero with complicated familial relationships and idk whatever like. I'm not examining him through the lens of my actual real life opinions on whether or not you should kill people or whether or not I support the death penalty, and neither should you. he's a character in one of the most convoluted stories ever told and he needs to be treated as such, both in a doylist fashion (he's been written by real people who have differing opinions on what's morally correct and what makes someone a villain and who might not necessarily have the best grip on what makes murder wrong in a philosophical argument) and in a watsonian fashion (his worldview is shaped by extreme violence that is a cycle with no end in sight and that cycle has more to do with bruce and jason's relationship than it does the joker) and a combined fashion (the cycle will never end bc comic books need to keep using the same tensions over and over again and if bruce and jason resolve their differences jason's character will no longer serve its current narrative purpose and besides even if he did change another writer will just bring him back to whatever's most familiar and convenient for them and their story so meanwhile jason has to make the same exact choice to leave the joker alive and hate bruce for it and bruce can't truly communicate with jason bc the writers need to keep the story going in perpetual limbo). anyway none of this is readable but basically what I'm saying is that when I say I think jason's right for killing people yeah I mean it in that I think it's hot but also I mean it in that narratively it makes sense for him to see the world this way and it makes sense in universe for him to believe there is no better option for villains other than death. like. irl obviously a vigilante running around killing people would be bad (nevermind that jason isn't using guns rn specifically to avoid killing people accidentally or impulsively) but this isn't irl, it's a story, and I'm judging it on the merits of what kind of story it's trying to tell. and also I think jason killing people is hot.

i was wondering if you could talk a little bit about why you don’t like marva? (loved the new chapter of don’t say you love me)

Hoo boy, where do I begin? Put under a read more for spoilers, and for the anti-Maarva rant incoming.

First and probably biggest reason is the kidnapping. Drugging and taking a child from his community and his only remaining family, a child who's terrified, who's clearly never seen technology like theirs before, who doesn't even speak their language... She's quite literally the textbook example of the white savior trope, and most baffling of all, this is portrayed as a mostly positive thing. (Well, not even mostly. Other than Cassian still looking for his sister and their relationship being strained, I struggle to see where the show called out Maarva for her actions because well. It didn't.)

Then there's the way she treats Cassian after that. She's belittling, dismissive, borderline emotionally abusive, constantly puts him down and talks down on him, always criticizes him... She treats Bee kinda shitty too, mind you (for example snapping at him to shut up rather cruelly if you ask me.) Then she abandons Cassian when he needs her the most because now she suddenly cares about fighting the empire? And once again, it's portrayed as this selfless heroic act because I guess fighting the Empire is more important than anything. Fine, if that's what you wanna go for. Except that she doesn't fight them. She doesn't do anything, and this "noble" act of sacrifice is completely meaningless. It does nothing else but hurt Cassian. She took this child from his home, never took accountability for it, never treated him right as a mother, and now when he has no one else left and he's just begging her to go with him because despite everything, he does love her and he doesn't want to be alone and he doesn't want her to be in danger... she turns him away? And for what? So she can stay on Ferrix, sick and stubborn and refusing to take her medication and just being a nuisance to everyone? So she can die alone a month later without having any closure with her son? Okay. Makes sense. Oh wait, I forgot. She makes a speech. Groundbreaking.

What's especially annoying to me is that the narrative fully takes her side and never bothers to call her out on any of this. Yes, some people just don't have good mothers, and that'd be fine as a story, even though I'd still dislike her, but what makes me hate her even more is that the story doesn't seem to consider her a bad mother. The story wants me to like her. We're told she's a beloved part of the community, that she's a selfless mother, that she's an inspiring leader. Except that's not what they show us. Fiona Shaw herself talks about what a selfless hero she is for quote-on-quote rescuing Cassian, and it feels like I'm getting whiplash because did we watch the same show? Rescuing Cassian is not how I'd put it. She full on drugged and kidnapped a child, that's not a noble or heroic act of self-sacrifice.

Maarva never shows any warmth towards Cassian. Even in episode 7 when he goes back to her and episode 11 when he tries to call her, it feels like a boy desperately trying to please and live up to his mother's standards because she never made him feel like he was good enough. And that really is just the last straw. I wouldn't forgive her for kidnapping him, but I had hoped, initially, that there'd be consequences to this, that she'd show remorse at least. But I don't think Maarva ever really thought she did anything wrong because the story doesn't think she did anything wrong. And instead of trying to make it up to him like Clem seemed to have tried, she just gives him even more emotional damage.

I just can't tolerate her. Even her love for Cassian seems selfish at best, so there's nothing redeemable about her in my eyes.

What a fantastic day to remind everyone that no romantic m/f duo parallel Miles and Gwen as much as Nico and Percy do-Keyword being romantic,since the latter are found sibling soulmates in every universe-because:

Nico and Miles are autistic boys with transmasc swag who're super soft and nerdy,fast food lovers,optimistic despite all the nonstop bullshit life throughs at them and way more powerful than they look,act and believe themselves to be

Percy and Gwen are pastel punk trans girls who're also autistic and super snarky with anger issues but also total sweeties,rock music lovers,have shitty corrupted dads and were framed for a crime they didn't commit at a big turning point in their story

And the younger one met them while attending a weird school they didn't fit in at and instantly developed crushes on them over thinking they were THE COOLEST EVER and how nice they were to them only making them grow and the older one was there because they're part of the new world they were about to join

After the beginner stage that included their older relative getting murdered in the line of fire,they were seperated for a whole year and missed eachother deeply while being literal world's apart(Respective dimensions/Earth and The Underworld)until one of them visited to the other's room for world saving bussiness and they welcomed them in with open arms and led them to the party their Mamí was hosting to give them food as they spent the second they arrived having catching up convos that moved onto hero talk too

Then Nico and Gwen worried about what their monster's of 'father's' would do but for the time being they were just happy to be with Percy and Miles again and they were happy to have them back too as their buried love for eachother grew stronger over the course of their second adventure together

Only to 'betray' them due to having no other choice and just trying to help them and being upset at only themself for it because they knew their other half was right to be angry at them for hiding things and them eventually understanding that too after lashing out in justified hurt and angry that they regreted afterwards anyways

And repaired their best friendhood afterwards thanks to apologies,healthy communication,going back to having fun and fighting together again and the shatterment of the idealized versions of eachother they made up in their heads making them properly appreciate eachother,all of which they managed by breaking canon itself and undooming of their narratives(Miles refusing to let bad things happen because he knows canon events are stupid and inspiring Gwen to do the same in Beyond/Rick insisting that the og Dead Sea Siblings hate eachother now only for it to be obvious even to Percy antis that they see eachother as siblings and mom and son)

So I was reading one of @bonesandthebees latest fic (she has a really interesting fantasy cyberpunk crimeboys au, check it out), and she mentioned in the author's note that she was having some comments all mad at a certain character and like, remember that theyse are all messy characters and they'll make mistakes! So of course I went "oh no" and went to look at the comments, because I'm nosy, and Oh Boy, were there angry comments, and it brought up something that I've been thinking in this fandom, and in general.

I don't think it's particularly useful to divide the world into "abusers" and "victims", where any time someone does something bad they're an Abuser and any time someone suffers they're a Victim. I don't think that helps with narrative analysis and I don't think that helps in real life.

Cause like, in fiction, an awful lot of the time it's not super clear-cut. Sometimes there's an unrepentant domestic abuser and you can safely file them as Bad, narrative wants me to hate that guy, but an awful lot of the time the author is deliberately involving conflict, (which is a staple of western storytelling), and people will hurt each other in small and large ways, because people are messy, but the story is trying to bring that conflict to some sort of resolution and healing (or heart-wrenching lack of resolution), not indicating that one person is horrible and is going to be throw away. People will have conflict and it's just conflict, not abuse. Sometimes people will even be abusive and come back from it because redemption and contrition is a thing but that's real complex for the comment section.

In the case of the fic that is getting all the comments that make me go Oh No (spoilers), character A has been kidnapped and has tried to kill one of his kidnappers, as part of an escape attempt. He's also making friends with his kidnappers because they treat him better than his previous life did, and meanwhile, character B, who is the person who was almost killed, is calling character A a name he's freaking out about— because character A has been ritually divested of his name in a religious ritual that character B thinks is bullshit and character B wants to treat character A like a human being— and character A has really complex feelings about the whole situation! And the comments are trying to divide this dynamic into neat Abusers (they can hate) and Victims (they can support in everything). And like, guys, no, this is intended to be a drama, people will be messy and it's intended to see the journey, your guy can also mess up and he's still a fine person. (Or maybe he's not a fine person but you can still see his humanity, but again, real complex for the comment section.) (Also fic is a banger.)

And in real life, dividing the world into Abusers, who hurt people, and Victims, who never do anything bad, is just a really, really dangerous path to go down. Cause let's be honest, we all mess up sometimes. You have got to be able to cope with the fact that sometimes you can hurt a person and that's A Bad Thing that you should try to fix, but that doesn't make you An Ireperrable Bad Person Who Deserves To Die, and someone else hurting you doesn't necessarily mean that they are The Worst Person Ever To Be Shunned From The Community. I have been genuinely hurt by people who never intended harm and who I repaired my relationship with, and I have genuinely hurt people because I was having a brain meltdown and I've both been forgiven and some people decided not to pick that relationship up again, and both are fine, and in neither case am I irreedeemable, and in neither case am I blameless. People are COMPLICATED.

Sometimes you look back at how you were over the past few months and you have to be able to go "well I was shitty". And then you try to do better. Viewing yourself (or other people) as someone who cannot do anything bad OR as someone who cannot do anything good, is just a dangerous path to go down. People are more complex than that.

I dunno I just think it's a bad path to go down.