#no because actually why the fuck are there so many connections i could draw-
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If i had a nickel for every time my comfort character was a child soldier who was told the titan/titans of his world had big plans for him and he determinedly upheld the values drilled into him by the one(s) who raised him until his worldview was violently shattered as a result of a simple mistake that was technically his guardian's fault even though he got blamed for it and he had a small fictional creature emotional support animal named after a food and discovered the existence of clones of himself made with the intention of creating a better version of him i would have two nickels
which isnt a lot but its weird that it happened twice-
#no because actually why the fuck are there so many connections i could draw-#hunter being told the titan has big plans for him to keep him in line#gillion being taught the titans of the undersea are his gods and hes the chosen one of the gods#plus hunters worldview being shattered in hollow mind was belos' fault cause hunter just wanted Out#and yet belos was set on punishing hunter for it#and gillion attacking the navy officer was just him doing exactly what the elders trained him to do#and yet he got fucking banished for it#and flapjack the cardinal palisman with pretzel the frogtopus hello???#and then hunter learning about all his grimwalker predecessors#while we know they were all created to try to make the best version of caleb belos could#and then fucking Doppelgilly being gillion but if he were a more obedient soldier#like hello what the fuck?? /silly#dragons chatting#jrwi gillion#jrwi gillion tidestrider#jrwi#jrwi riptide#just roll with it#just roll with it riptide#gillion tidestrider#toh hunter#hunter toh#hunter owl house#jrwi spoilers#jrwi 114
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My two cents in the Lucifer commission saga, what if Val DID one Alastor body pillow many many years ago (idk what he could have needed from Vox but let's say he was really desperate). Then, after stayed gone, Vox went through a destructive episode while dealing with his hate-crush being back and accidentally destroyed the thing, after he calmed down he realized what he'd done and went whining to Val so he could get a new one but Val refuses because:
a) the drawing was made so long ago he doesn't even know where it was stored and he has better things to do than go into a crazy search for it
b)Vox is definitely gonna want upgrades and after that experience he's not willing to go through his nitpicking again, especially because he is in good terms with Vox atm so why put effort?
So he tells Vox to look for someone else to do it (not considering how much Vox is gonna spend) and because Vox doesn't know restrain nor shame when it comes to his weird obsession with Alastor, and is desperate enough (pathetic local TV man needs his Alastor's body pillow to get a good night sleep) he commissions Lucifer.
(referring to this ask)
LMAOOOO we really trying our best here make it fit into the lucifer commission saga but I respect it. fucking crazy ass dynamics at play here. I love how the first one implies vox got lucifer's version of the body pillow DURING OR AFTER season 1 lSLL:GSLSDLJS. second one, honestly fucking believable cause I don't think val would connect the dots between the angel stuffings and it being advertised by an actual angel (connecting the dots is what his colleagues are for. HIS job is manipulate gatekeep manwhore), later on when val describes it, vox has the sudden realisation "you commissioned LUCIFER!?!???" "uh... that was lucifer...?" "WHERE ELSE do you fucking think this so-called 'authentic angel feathers' advertiser got his AUTHENTIC ANGEL FEATHERS FROM?" "WELL HOW..." and then they go on for ages but vox ends up getting his body pillow anyways so they stop arguing (and then later lucifer spills the info to alastor and then the arguing starts up again and vox also has to run for his life)
#ask#osrs.txt#radiostatic#staticradio#onewaybroadcast#hazbin vox#hazbin hotel vox#hazbin valentino#hazbin hotel valentino#valentino#lucifer morningstar#hazbin lucifer#hazbin alastor#hazbin hotel alastor#alastor#lucifer's commissions saga
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Hobie x Isekai!Reader
[Reading Between the Lines]
WEEOO WEEOO Platonic Fic Idea WEEOO WEEOO
Hobie x Reader Isekai fic where the reader (me) is a Spider-man meta-analysis writer and they fall into the ATSV universe.
They meet Hobie and are completely starstruck, unable to speak. Flabbergasted. Uhh okay imma just do the intro "Hi, My name's Hobie, Hobie Brown. I was bitten by a-"
"...WOULDN'T YOU LIKE TO KNOW YOU GET WHAT I MEAN!! And for the last three years I've been the one and only- *proceeds to do his whole intro for him*."
"What the fuck. Those are my lines. Bruv cut that shit out wth."
Everyone thinks they're weird as fuck, but Gwenpoole (and other Nexus beings) are taught about at The Society at least, so it's not a mystery why they are the way they are.
But they're just SO META
They're basically bouncing and they tell Hobie 'OMG, your like my favorite superhero. I write about you ALL THE TIME- Ignore the OC folder'
Hobies like 'I'm not a hero-'
'I knew you'd say that!!!!! AHHHHH!!!!!'
All of a sudden there's this huge Hobie groupie fan in the group that knows everything about them and their trauma 😭😭
The reader sees Gwen and is like '.......I know this isn't my place but I've read through the scene between you and your dad and I have some comments I'd like to make. I can leave out the ones where I wish him death.'
There's even a scene like this one between Miles and Gwen
Where Hobie is like 'oi this your analysis book lemme see-' only to open to dozens of pages of x-reader fics and Hobie x OC drawings
And reader is like
'Uh.... I ain't write that. I don't know how that got in there. That's not even my handwriting. I found that notebook actually 😭😭'
Meanwhile Hobies like 'Christ - how much time do you have on your hands 🤨🤔'
'....Is it that bad?'
'Oh I ain't say it was bad. Could use a some work though. Actually- *takes out Noir's reading glasses (which he stole) from his pocket because he's not gonna stand here and judge a book by its cover*'
Of course Hobie still reads the x-reader cause he's a cocky bastard.
And then he returns said fics covered in red pen and notes of 'I wouldn't do that-' or 'actually you should add this. This would be better.' or even 'Lemme do it. That other shite you wrote don't make no sense'
BASICALLY HELPING CONSTRUCT FICS ABOUT HIMSELF. Simply because he finds the concept hilarious.
He gets to the smut and he's like "How easy do you lot think I am? Think you can have a pass at me, you must be taking the fucking piss-" just ranting and raving as he STILL READS IT
Sitting there with a cup of tea reading smut of himself and covering it in red pen like it's the mornings crossword 😭😭
The crew eventually realize that the readers power of trope analysis crosses over and it's SO USEFUL
All they need to do is get reader in front of Miguel and reader gives him a heartfelt reading and connection of his trauma that equals the culmination of ten years of therapy
They're like 'i know this is all an act Miguel. I know this is all an act to cover up the crushing feeling of chaos and helplessness that comes from canon. And really, all of this is just a mirror - you wanting to control how things 'should be' because there were so many things you went through that you think shouldn't have. But those moments are apart of you-'
Miguel's likes 'WAIT WOAH STOP TALKING'
They start bringing up Gabriel and Xina and shit from the comics.
Everyone's like 'Who the hell is Gabriel-" meanwhile Miguel is on the floor sobbing going 'mi hermano. mi hermano pequeno 😭😭😭'
And it ends with them all hugging Miguel after this person just read him for filth using the power of Isekai Canon Knowledge
I'm having TOO MUCH FUN WITH THIS
In the end Reader and Hobie become best friends because they both stand out so much in other universes and both take nothing entirely serious.
Plus they're both really perceptive and nosey and good at reading people so sometimes they see some subtle shit go down and they look at each other like
"We minding our business~ 😩🎶🗣️ we ain't gon say shit~ We gon mind our goddamn business 🎤🎸🔈'
Ok ok I'm done I'm done 😭😭😭
#this is pure self fulfillment and IDC#AHA!!!#Me and Hobie BFF5Eva#Hobie agrees DiscoPunk is 'cute or whatever'#his words#spiderman#atsv#spider man#marvel#across the spiderverse#hobie brown#spider punk#spiderpunk#hobie x reader#hobie x you#hobie x y/n#hobie brown x reader#hobie brown x you#Hobie brown x y/n
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oh my fucking god i feel. SO stupid rn at How i didnt make the (super sane very normal just absolutely. Yes. Surely) connection earlier but uhh
so anyway im now like 89% certain that whatever the "traces" of the narwhal that remain on ajax and facilitate their (ever-growing) innate connection are like. an actually fundamental aspect of it (them?) more or less.
why? because if you consider its pov just for a moment. the narwhal was literally about to depart teyvat for good. it had nearly finished consuming the primordial sea and preparing to breach surface to finish the job by eating the french for the leftovers their human bodies were made from. its an interstellar voyager it does not linger on planets it devours. it goes glug glug and it leaves.
and like if it wasnt for traveler intervening its confirmed through narzissenkreuz and renes world formula that teyvat wouldve just been destroyed. no one could have stopped the narwhal not neuvillette not focalors not anyone.
so what was the one other thing it did right before going for that french brunch? calling for ajax. getting them reunited in the primordial sea. like all the possible implications aside bc theres many different ways to speculate on the exact reasons why and the nature of that link. the point remains.
it wasnt leaving teyvat without finding him.
like the narwhal is about to fucking Dip from this cringe planet and whatever part of it that ajax carries within himself his narwhal Absolutely wanted to be reunited with. what the fuck am i supposed to read from that. hoyo???????!??! answers?!?!?!
and its not only the calling from the narwhal side itself either bc this is ALL coinciding with the growth of a 'restless power' within ajax and his vision malfunctioning (the things celestia is literally confirmed to harvest energy thru to repair its damaged authority) and his connection with the narwhal reaching an actual conscious level (arguably subconscious n emotional too bc i find it Curious his mood is poor right as the narwhal is repeatedly described as positively malding to the point its boss fight mechanic is literally a rage meter). ajax' power is growing. his destiny is starting to shift and something is drawing him to fontaine... right as the narwhal is getting close to finished with the primordial sea. funny how it overlaps eh. how it aligns 🤨🤨 why are they orbiting each other like this (they should kiss)
(& not to even Mention how ajax just Happened to get that absolutely exponential and borderline unbelievable feat of power spike in extending his foul legacy endurance as massively as he did. while. within the primordial sea. with his narwhal. who had at that point all but incorporated the power of that sea into itself. i s2g if childe was getting passive home turf co-op bonus exp with a 4x multiplier automatically the whole 40+ days 💀💀)
#man the way its lovely reunion but tjen ajax fucking ATTACKS IT ON SIGHT you couldve gotten married!!!!11!1 fucking unbearable i am in agony#anyway contrary to popular belief we still have no fucking clue whether ajax' link to the narwhal was innate#skirk saying the traces remain on him after meeting it isnt saying tht much. the parts he shares w it couldve well been innate but dormant#instead. also just the fact that he woke it up already shady#then like. monoceros caeli being his from the beginning is completely plausible despite ppl acting like its been confirmed his const change#and like them being halves of the same entity on some lvl would make the narwhal being so weak without him n until ajax found it again#make very much. sense. anyway ajax toxicity jokes aside if the narwhal was just trying to eat him point blank without even a hello#i do get why hed react aggressively. but also bros been telling everyone n their mom hes fighting his narwhal the seconf he finds it again😔#so i feel somewhat confident in assuming he started that 40+ days brawl#anyway if ajax Isnt the celestial narwhal on some level or possibly becoming it as their link grows.#riddle me this atheists. why is his 3rd phase boss theme. the song about His individual murderous rage at us#bc he thought he was outplayed by us. His personal wrath#whys the song for that called the wrath of the celestial narwhal. of the star swallowing whale. Hmmmge. his individual rage.#why does tusk of monoceros caeli speak of him embracing the narwhals innate qualities as embracing mere parts of Himself#funny how tjat goes!! (the OST n boss drop is not 100% serious theory but it does drive me insane. bc why would they phrase it like that)#anyway either theyre 2 halves same original entity or theyre soulmates idgaf . they should fold teyvat in half and eat it for brunch#aaand im going to be consumed by this realization for the next month wish me luck#WHY DID IT NEED HIM THERE SO BADLY???? HUH??????#i mean relatable dont we all. but its sooooooooo inch resting. Curious indeed#rambles#genshin#childe#childeposting#narwhalposting
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So I was reading your Athena & Apollo headcanons and it made me think of a hc to help fill a (very mild but infinitely frustrating) plot hole in the books! (Well, plot hole is stretching it, it’s not even a plot dent, more like a detail inconsistency that affects Literally Nothing but it has driven me crazy since I read mcga)
The detail in question: Why are all of Athena’s kids blonde and (possibly) curly-haired, when Annabeth is said to get her hair from her dad and Athena has never actually appeared as a blonde? (Aside from that time in Sea of Monsters but tbf that was a hallucination so possibly not accurate). It’s bothered me for a while, because Athena doesn’t Do romance and therefore it wouldn’t really make sense for her to have a Type, right? Why would someone attracted to mortal’s intellect care about their hair color? I guess I just figured she’d been blonde for a while and decided to go brunette later, but the “dumb blonde” stereotype has been around for a long time, having been especially prevalent since the ‘50s, and I can’t imagine Athena to want to be seen as anything less than the smartest person in the room.
But then your hcs got me thinking… we know that Athena is very proud, but she’s also deeply insecure. Like, “she got made fun of for playing the flute One Time by two goddesses known to be bitchy that she already did not get along with and threw it into the woods with a curse and refused to pick it up again (until Apollo coaxed her to)” insecure. And she doesn’t have very many friends, does she? Apollo’s kind of all she has, other than mortals, but her relationship with mortals is that of a devotee and a god. Reverence is not the same thing as connection. But Apollo, who is in a similar boat to her, makes connections so easily! Even at his worst, he makes people like him against both his and their will. Even his relationships with his devotees were… well they were messy lbr but they were also very genuine, most of the time. There was something more, there.
So, all this rambling to say: what if the reason Athena’s kids all look so similar is because Athena chose to look like Apollo? I don’t think she chose to act like him, but. I dunno. Maybe she thought mortals would like her better if she looked more like her pretty, popular brother. She’s always had to listen to people, mortals and immortals alike, praise her brother for just about everything while she had to fight for even a scrap of respect. Maybe she thought she could absorb at least a little of that something that makes people genuinely like him. That something that draws her to him again and again. Maybe it’s like armor, pulling on her brother’s face. If they don’t like her, it’s not because it’s her, right? Apollo’s been driving everybody crazy lately, anyway… (and yet, he’s still more beloved than her…)
And that ALSO feeds into my preexisting headcanons about Apollo looking like a Chase, which is fun!! (I think his modern godly form looks more similar to Magnus but Lester has a face/hair texture that is really, really similar to annabeth’s! So when he bashes the two forms together he makes the two of them look even more like siblings because he’s basically a bridge between the two of them, lol. But his old godly form looked strikingly similar to Annabeth in a lot of ways… hmmmm.)
Anyway it’s kind of a convoluted hc and once again falls into the “Apollo is the specialist little guy in the WORLD” mindset but I!!! Just like it!!!! When siblings are weird and messy!!! And admiration gets mixed up with jealousy and genuine affection is twisted by circumstance and time!!! And identity issues!!! And loneliness!!! It’s latching on to someone and having them be your whole world when you know that you’re just a small part of theirs!!! AUGHHH. Weird fucked up Olympus dynamics my belovedddd
HELLO LONG ASK
I never noticed this before, but this explanation seems Interesting👀
And don't worry, this fandom basically goes "AND THIS IS WHY APOLLO IS [insert description here" ALL the time XD
BUT YES THE COMPLICATED RELATIONSHIP EAT THEM UP WE ARE EATING THEM TOGETHER!!! :D
#the oracle speaks#the trials of apollo#apollo#athena#knowledge n wisdom#pjo apollo#pjo athena#magnus chase and the gods of asgard#magnus chase#annabeth chase#fredrick chase#natalie chase
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suicide is discouraged in the workplace
im not even gonna try to be coherent here. this is not an analysis post i am braindead. if i was a better artist makima wouldve been my muse when i was deep into chainsawman. actuallt she kind of was but i pussyed out
OK everyone here can subconsciously understand this connection. dont get too hung up on makima's strong motherhood theme and i just thought about what if ame was motherly and i couldn't kill myself right aftee thinking that as i have no means to it. that was a joke its late and im just me. i decided i wasnt a fan of motherly ame though so all suicidal thoughts erased. i am really chill now
old makima fanart i drew that im trying not to rip my hairs out over thinking about it with ame. also dont worry if this makes tou find my mainblog or main accounts whatever
actually theyre really different in many ways now that im looking at these. ame is so much of a son and makima is so much of a mother its like oppsoite spectrums. but thay makes the commonalities fun actuallt. i keep thinking about the movies and makima hating bad movies. ame is not an art kid by any means does he even care of the beauty of the world? i doubt it. but he likes bad movies and he likes cheap entertainment so who knows... they'd disagree on that. well i think makima's opinion on that was pretty extreme so i think most would disagree with her really
i could imagine ame going "Chainsawman. Doesn't spit." and smoking for the first time to look cool like in movies only to pathetically cough. thats their common trait... artifice... humans... but in a way that loops back to being Really Human i guess. holds a kind of arrogance and hubris that is so associated with humanity. it cant be anything else. ame should kill himself i think he should get moments of clarity and awareness and want to kill himself rqlly bad
both concepts of control. awesome. SUICIDE IS NOT ENDORSED IN THE WRKPLACE. ame goes to protestant church once or twice and sleeps because hes useless. makima is baptised and goes to local catholic churches not the cathedrals she supports the local christians.FUCK i just remembered the country mouse city mouse thing. ame is a liar and hates everything and loves everything and never feels content. i like to imagine him as a country mouse so fucking bad i want him to chill out one day and go to those middle of nowheres i know exist in america(can i shove cana in here and get away with it). why are they in the city if they are country mice? because..... you know..... you understand..... another w for eternal unhappiness (refer to title of this post)(suicide is discouraged in the workplace)
they are evil bosses i am the employee and when i ask for a break they gaze at me with a vacant stare and smile and i know in my heart they are viewing me like i am beneath them. i get scared and run away but truth is they didnt hear my request. they do not register individual people
if they met they would know immediately and viceversa. because everyone knows subconsciously because lying is futile and everything melts away. ame:i know a toxic boymom when i see one... okay im kidding makima is a toxic boymom if u push the chainsawman in ur head 🙂 ame as a kind of control devil works inmy head. i really believe ame was a polite child but demanding in many ways. sincerely wanting.
ame:gun devil i'll give you one year of the lifespans of the american people. in exchange i want you to kill makima—that is... the control devil (i never got around to drawing this)(ame and gun devil can you imagine)
or:gun devil i'll give you one year of the lifespans of the american people. in exchange i want you to kill alfred f jones—that is... the united states of america (paradox)
throughout all this i wanted to cite the best makima artist in the world ever but i'd feel bad if they wouldn't want to be associated with evil hetalia america blog. also i want to be normal and not cringe at being cringe just becayse i think makima was a thunderstrike of genius that i shouldn't taint. ame is a more flexible character to me for obvious reasons. this is how i'd shove ame into makima's role. but u couldn't put makima as ame. only one way. im okay with that. concept idea consensus words fear control blablabla u get the point i hate using words dont care sleepy now
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please write more michael langdon smut im beggginggg. maybe hozier's work song inspired???? i just need simp michael plsssss
There's Nothing Sweeter Than My Baby (Grunge!Michael x Reader)
Blurb: Michael gets a chance to worship you in the best way possible
Warnings: smut, oral (female receiving)
A/N: thank you so so much for requesting something! I'm sorry i didnt get round to this sooner!! Hope you enjoy some simpy Michael smut, apologies for how badly I suck at romantic shit (I'm aromantic so it doesn't exactly come naturally to me).
It had been 2 weeks since Michael had last seen you, what with you being busy with university and your badly paid copywriting internship. He understood, of course, that he didn't get his girlfriend all to himself all the time and that you had many commitements of your own to attend to. Knowing that didn't make the empty space in his life that your presence usually filled any easier to accept or deal with.
Leaning back against the pillows on his bed, he checked his phone yet again, both to look at the time and see if any messages had come in from you. Two more hours and then he could see you, the one person except for Ms. Mead, who he actually gave a shit about. He'd been planning this day for the past three days. After all, he didn't normally have the house to himself, which meant he could spend some real 'quality' time with you without the fear of being caught. His hand and the cute pictures of you in lingerie only went so far in terms of satisfying him. Besides, pictures aren't the same as feeling your body pressed against his, hearing your moans and sighs, and being physically inside you.
"Fuck." He mumbled, realising his little daydream about slipping his fingers into your velvety pussy and making you moan his name was beginning to send blood rushing to his cock.
He didn't want to ruin what was coming later on by messing about with himself now. In an attempt to distract himself, he grabbed his headphones off the nightstand. Skipping through his playlist, he landed on Work Song by Hozier. Turning back to the book he had been reading, he passed hours listening to every song that reminded him of you, whether it be because it was a song you'd recommended to him or because there were traces of you in the lyrics.
***
"J-jesus, what's gotten into you!" You managed as Michael kissed down your neck, your feet not even through the doorframe.
He pulled back, a look of mock offence on his face.
"I havent seen you in two weeks, Y/N. That's too long for me not to go crazy when I finally do see you." He resumed kissing your neck as you closed the door behind you.
Noticing that Ms Mead's car was absent, you started to piece together the other reason Michael was unable to leave your body alone.
"Empty house?" You asked, stifling a girlish giggle as you connected the dots. So that's why he told you to (politely) hurry your ass home from class.
His response was an 'mm-hmm' as his hands traced the contours of your waist and hips. It felt like he was touching you for the first time again; your body was both a familiar and unfamiliar landscape beneath his hands. His lips moved from your collarbones to your mouth, drawing you in for a long overdue kiss. Melting into his touch, you pressed your body against him, feeling the beginnings of an erection press against your thigh.
"Excited to see me, hmm?" You teased in a sultry whisper, drawing back from his hungry lips.
"I'm fucking starving for you, dove."
The nickname gave you butterflies, even if it was the hundredth time he'd lovingly called you that.
"Let me taste you. I've missed you so fucking much, just let me show you how much." His low tone couldn't hide the eagerness in his voice, the pure need to worship you in the best way he knew.
You pressed your lips to his again, signalling without words that you consented to his offer. In one swift motion, Michael lifted you up, hands cupping your ass, and carried you to the leather sofa, lowering you down onto it. Falling to his knees, he pushed your skirt up, grateful that you were wearing something so accessible.
His breath was hot against your thighs as he peppered them with kisses, his mop of blonde hair tickling your skin as his lips edged closer and closer to your core. You'd never seen him this eager to have you, not even when both of you were insatiably horny. Even then, he paced himself, never rushing foreplay, always making sure your pleasure came before his. This time, he was already tracing the outline of your slit through your panties with his tongue, moaning under his breath as he did so. The tip of his tongue nudged your clit, applying just the right amount of pressure to make your thighs tense up on either side of his head. Fingers replaced his tongue, rubbing careful circles on your clit before dipping down to rub your slit. A short moan escaped your mouth.
"You missed me too, hmm?" Michael managed, forcing himself to talk rather than bury his head between your thighs and eat you like your pussy was his first meal in a week. His cock was fully hard, painfully pressing against the rough denim of his ripped jeans. As much as his sex drive told him to fuck you into the couch, he wanted this to be about getting you off, not just him.
Two fingers looped around the hem of your panties, pulling them down your legs and to your feet. Michael held them up as if he was admiring them. Red cotton with black lace trim, his favourite pair of yours. They were stained with a damp patch, a streak of your creamy arousal. Making eye contact with you, he licked your slick off the fabric, savouring your taste and scent.
"Fuck." Was all he managed when he stopped his display of self-indulgence and slid the panties into his jean pocket.
No sooner had he pocketed his prize, he turned his attention to your exposed cunt. He felt heat creep onto his cheeks, as if this was the first time he'd ever seen your sex. Looking up at you the entire time, he dragged his tongue up your slit in a broad, slow lick. Your hand grasped his hair, making him gasp. He repeated the action, this time dipping his tongue inside you, flicking it, feeling the silky flesh of your pussy. You moaned again, placing one leg over his shoulder, opening your sex up to him, inviting him to devour you in the way you knew he wanted to.
"You really are starving." You mused, beginning to get breathless as Michael assaulted your pussy with licks, sucks, and kisses.
"Of course I am, I haven't tasted you in so long. And there's nothing sweeter than you." He whispered, lips shining with your slick.
Returning to your now puffy lips, he grasped your thighs, pressing his mouth against your cunt, eating like a starved animal. Every so often he would moan to himself, getting off to the way your cunt twitched when he swirled his tongue around your clit and the various curse words and moans that fell from your mouth. He could feel you climbing closer and closer to your climax; your hand gripping his hair tighter, pressing his face into your needy pussy, whimpering his name, begging him to keep going. Obliging to your demands, he used two fingers to press up into your spongy insides, pumping in and out of you, his mouth still on your clit, sucking and kissing it.
"Oh...fuck, I'm so close, Michael. So fucking close." You groaned out, head lolling back against the sofa. The pressure building in your lower body was almost unbearable as Michael continued to bring you closer and closer. It was such an intense high, you'd never managed to get yourself this desperate to cum. Whether it was the lack of sex for the past few weeks or the fact your boyfriend was so devoted to devouring your pussy, you didn't know and frankly didn't care. All you knew was that Michael was really showing you how much he missed you in the most selfless way possible.
A few more pumps of his fingers and a swirl of his tongue made you come crashing down from your climax, a loud moan leaving your mouth, nails digging into the leather of the sofa as you clawed at it. Thick, creamy cum leaked around Michael's fingers, coating them and dripping onto the sofa.
Michael himself had cum, his boxers a sticky mess and a trickle of his seed running down his thigh. His legs were shaking from his hands-free release. Licking your cum off his fingers, he sat up on your sofa, pulling you onto his lap. The two of you caught your breaths, panting almost in unison.
#michael langdon#michael langdon x female reader#american horror story#x reader#cody fern#michael langdon x reader#michael langdon smut#ahs smut#michael langdon x you#ahs#grunge!michael langdon#grunge!michael x reader#michael langdon imagine#grunge!michael langdon x reader smut#ahs imagine
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caduceus lvl.20 redesign i did ages ago but forgot to post
copious amounts of design notes under the cut
tl;dr: my goal with this redesign was to create a coherent design consistent with his previous art, improved enough to hopefully read as lvl.20, but still practical enough to serve as actual adventuring clothes
okay anyways so watch how autistic i can be about caduceus
i wasn't satisfied with caduceus's lvl.20 design. i'm not entirely sure how that design happened. to be fair, critrole designs have never been consistent, but lvl.20 cad abandons nearly every key aspects of cad's design. it drives me batty
why is his hair so straight and pale and dead. why is he draped in so much brown. how do those wing-skirt things work. why does his staff... look like that. like its gonna explode into toothpicks at the first use. why is there honey. why is the gold of his shield so bright. what is the rope on his shoulders for
i mean, who knows what goes on in the critrole art development process. my personal theory is that they continue to design these characters as personal ocs and not as official characters in a huge multimedia franchise, and their personal choices trump all, design considerations be damned. like, i cant really judge. i have the privilege to make whatever choices i want when drawing. i answer to no one. i could tell taliesin jaffe to go fuck himself. yknow. if i wanted to die
regardless, i dont hate everything about the lvl.20 design. i appreciate that it brought back his swirl-patterned pants, but the entire core of his design is so busy with shit that it becomes a problem
i tried to preserve cad's key aspects as much as i could in my redesign, as well as incorporate aspects i enjoyed most from each design. for example, i really like the idea of the goliath beetle armour in lvl.20 cad, but i tinted the black shell towards blue to match cad's signature teal green.
I also tried to create a palette consistent with his previous designs. teal should always be his primary colour, with pink being the most prominent accent. after that, anything thats analogous to those two is gravy. for real, i am begging critrole to at least keep consistent palettes, because this is a problem for most of their designs
my choice to include the red cords is inspired by the winter cad design as well as one of fjord's earlier designs (side note: most of fjord's designs are pretty great; he's the most consistently on-par)
i enjoy drawing aesthetic parallels between connected characters. on that note, the swirly jade earring is a gift from beau :3 because they're fun earring buddies
speaking of cad's winter design, the design sheet showed a lot of asian influence (thats mostly covered by the cloak) and i will take any excuse to add asian influence to a design. the first two tunics below were my main reference for my own tunic choice
the knots on the cords are specifically chinese knot art. the largest knot at his waist is a plate knot which can symbolize the cyclical nature of life and death, and the knot on his cape is a brocade knot which can symbolize (re)unity. i thought these concepts were in-line with cad's general philosophy and the wildmother's teachings. also, the brocade knot acts as his holy symbol with a crook-shaped pin woven through the cord. i really fuck with holy symbols being integrated into a design rather than just slapped on somewhere
lightning round design notes:
the fraying woven material is witch hair moss, which i imagine could be made very soft and warm. this is my version of the neutral-coloured flynet cape in the fourth design
i brought back the iconic pink lichen
i simplied the staff again. my way of visually portraying a growth in power is that the one wooden hand has transformed into many hands grasping the crystal, which is also a representation of cad widening his social circle and of the nein in general
cad curly hair and beard so important to me
cad wide nose so important to me
final note:
the pose i chose for caduceus was very intentional. while cad looks great in a power pose, i feel like it doesnt suit his character. his power isnt so confrontational. his power is quiet and gentle and humble and inevitable. he doesnt need to show off. he's just chilling. i love this dumb silly man
and for the record, while i consider cad to be the worst lvl.20 design, jester is a guaranteed second place. very tempted to redesign her as well, because mature-but-frilly pirate lolita is right up my alley
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Hua Laoshi
Thinking about Professor HC. He’s like late - 30’s, total dilf, but really well respected and liked - students really love his classes. He makes history enjoyable to learn, after all.
He’ll go on wild yet profound tangents and has great PowerPoints. Sometimes a random gif will pop up here or there because he forgot to take them off; they were just for jokes oops but hey at least the students find them funny.
There’s a reason why HC leaves his notes to the powerpoints. Mans can barely write his name legibly, much less use the chalkboard for anything besides drawing. However, his maps are actually insane - he could actually be a map-maker.
HC’s assignments entail lots of writing and some group work, plus participation points are a must, but it’s to be expected because his courses are usually for upperclassmen.
The new incoming students are always blown away by the sheer amount of knowledge HC has AND that he is articulate enough to teach in a way that all his students can actually learn.
Many students see Hua laoshi in and out of the library, checking out numerous books at a time and if a student asks for help in furthering researching a topic, HC is diligent about guiding them to relevant resources or even having the university order the texts themselves.
HC is fluent in seven languages, and can understand basic conversations in even more. Thus, if some students think they can gossip in another language, HC will eventually let them know in the slyest ways that nothing gets past him.
HC’s wardrobe is refined with plenty of statement pieces and accessories. This includes the fancy pins on his suit jackets, the most commonly worn ones being a butterfly and a flower. On numerous occasions, he’s been voted as the most stylish professor on campus.
His office is also one of the best designed, with comfy chairs and lots of desk space, traditional paintings hung everywhere, a few plants lining the window sill, several mugs labeled with “student tears,” etc. On his desk sits all his devices neatly plugged in, a picture of his black cat (E’Ming), and a picture of him and his husband on their wedding day.
Yes, even with all the rings HC wears on all his fingers, the polished silver band on his left ring-finger never goes unnoticed.
It’s really no secret how much of a romantic sucker HC is for his husband.
Once, on the first day of classes when HC was connecting his computer to the projector, his desktop photo was revealed on the big screen: a photo of XL mid-laugh, laying next to HC when they had one of their picnic dates.
Or another time when HC meant to freeze the screen that had instructions for a small in-class writing assignment but didn’t, which exposed the document HC was writing on with ideas on what Christmas gifts to get for his husband.
Another year, at the start of the second semester, HC began his lecture with, “So, no one asked what I did over break but-” he makes a show of pressing the clicker, and a photo of HC ice-skating pops up. “-yes, I did ice skate for the first time, and yes, I did out-skate everyone on the rink.”
He nods with a complete deadpan. A series of chuckles ring across the room.
“Except my husband, of course.”
The slide switches to a picture of XL skating (taken by HC, obviously), the warmest smile on his face.
“See how cool he is.” :)
HC keeps going with pictures and even videos of XL skating, the class occasionally breaking into choruses of “ooohs” and “ahhhs.” They don’t need to know that this is the part of the powerpoint HC spent the most time preparing, but with HC standing at the front with the biggest fucking grin on his face (#proudhusband), the students could probably guess that was the case.
Here Hua laoshi is, starting the semester off by showing off his husband, as he should.
Some students have had the privilege of running into HC and XL during their date night !! As in, sitting at a table far enough away where they can see XL talking enthusiastically - waving his hands in large motions and swirling his glass - while HC listens and nods with the softest smile.
Honestly, anyone with functioning eyes wouldn't help but be able to gush over how cute the couple looks.
One of the students actually crosses paths with XL in the bathroom. They washed hands side-by-side and then XL used a paper towel to open and hold the door open for them! Back at the student table, the lucky soul proceeded to whisper-scream about how pretty Hua laoshi’s husband is.
XL subbing for HC’s class once in a blue moon - basically XL going through HC’s PowerPoint and thoroughly explaining everything because HC talks about his lessons so much.
XL: “ahah I’m your sub for today, serves me right since I’m the one who got your professor sick” 😅
XL reading over HC’s notes: “hmm, ok, your professor also wrote down that-“
A random student: “wait a min, he can read hua laoshi’s handwriting?”
A second student: “hmm, makes sense, they are married after all”
A third student: “opposites do attract i guess”)
2. Also, XL frequently uses the chalkboard and students are like 😱😱he writes beautifully!
XL messing up: “oops lemme erase this-“
The students: “NO ITS FINE”
3. One student: “ahh, I see Xie laoshi is wearing Hua laoshi’s lucky tie today”
XL, looking down at the crimson dragon printed tie: “huh? this is mine though…San Lang wears it…?”
The students: “Oop exposed”
Which alludes to how seldom XL seems to wear ties.
(HC when XL gets home and nonchalantly begins loosening the tie: “holy shit, i married THAT”
4. The students zero in on the red coral earring XL dangling from his right ear lobe, the match to HC’s who either wears it on his ear or attached to his braid.
***
Incidentally, the first time HC hears himself being referred to as a “dilf,” he’s that meme with the lady who has the math/science equations in the air. They think he’s a WHAT? Is it the way he dresses? Or talks? Like what is it about him that makes him a “dilf?” Because HC in his life has never-
Oh wait. Hang on a second.
HC arrives home and sees XL working on the couch, glasses on, hair in a half-bun, tight-white shirt, sipping on some tea.
HC may actually be familiar with the feeling…!!
《II》
#tgcf#heaven official's blessing#tian guan ci fu#hualian#hua cheng#xie lian#modern au#professor hua cheng#fluff#cerdrabbles#married hualian
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In Defense of Tearer
Character writing, not the uncountable crimes
AI:TSF Nirvana Initiative is a very divisive game, for many reasons, some of which I’ve discussed before even. With its twists and split storytelling, and a horrible no spoilers policy that leaves fans of the first game with no connective tissue that respects the time they spent with those characters in the first game, it was destined for controversy, no matter how many good ideas and interesting characters it contained. And make no mistake, Nirvana Initiative has many interesting, even consistently well executed ideas. There are some things in Nirvana Initiative that I think are better than they ever were in the first game, like the serial killer at the center of it all.
Apparently, Tearer is controversial. Some think he is lesser than Saito. Less presence. Weaker. Uninteresting. Irrelevant. They think his only purpose is to provide a motive for Amame, who is actually the interesting culprit. But I believe all of that is incorrect. It misunderstands what makes Saito compelling, what makes Amame compelling, and most importantly, for my purposes, why fucking Tearer fucking rules. Tearer is critical to the fundamental nature of not just AINI’s plot, but it’s themes; he is essential to the conversation about love, determinism, and trauma and without him this game is weak and flavorless, and all the other things you like about it would be worse. Under the cut.
Part Zero: S**TO
AITSF is about love. It’s in the title. Water is wet. But for the sake of drawing clearer parallels, let’s actually talk about Sejima Saito.
Saito cannot feel love or happiness from anything from murder, because of a brain disorder, or more accurately, he would have been able to if even one person loved him to begin with. I say this because Date exists within the same body, and he’s able to get by on medication. Because people cared about Date, and wanted him to be happy; they loved him. But Sejima Sou, the world’s worst man, does not care about Saito. His son killed animals, and he did nothing. His son killed his mistress, and he covered it up, but didn’t look into the root issue. He doesn’t care. On a literal level, Saito cannot feel love because of a brain disorder, but on a thematic level, he cannot feel it because no one ever offered it to him. He does not know what it is. (From this perspective, you could say that Saito is a victim of ableism and not only just. A problematic trope, although like it’s all definitely like still here)
And the sad thing is, Saito does not know what love is, he cannot understand it, yet he still wants it from his father! He’s on record saying this is why he killed Manaka because she stole him away. Sejima does not care about him, and he recognizes that, and it bothers him. He wants what he cannot have, so he kills instead. He has to rip that which his father loves away from him. That’s why killing her makes him happy! Are you seeing the bigger picture? The dopamine rush from killing is just the literal read; Saito derives pleasure from murder because he is ripping love away from others, a thing he wants but thinks he cannot have.
Saito switches into several different bodies that do not have the same brain disorder that his did, but this doesn’t make him understand love, because the problem isn’t actually the brain disorder. It’s that at this point, he has gone so long without ever being loved, without ever knowing what love is, with wanting it but never being allowed to have it, that he absolutely refuses to conceive of a version of himself where he could be happy and capable of it. He looks at Date, in his body, who is happy, and living a life full of love, with people who care about him, and its incomprehensible to him. That should not be possible. Date is using that body wrong because to be Saito is to be without love.
Saito has defined himself as loveless, as someone who could only ever be happy when he’s making everyone as miserable as he is. Sejima did not love him, and did not support him, but even once Saito became an adult with the resources and wealth that name possesses, he did not seek out happiness elsewhere, away from the people who failed him. When he gets second chances in different bodies, he does not seek out love, no matter how false it may be. Instead he uses whatever love someone might have for whoever used to live in that body as a tool to carry out his ends, because he is determined to stay as he is. He was not loved, so he will never be loved, and so no one else should ever be either.
This is how Saito is used in the narrative of the first game. In a story where love saves and redeems, about the connections we make with others no matter how fleeting, and the strength it gives us to pull through, the antagonist is someone who was denied it, and because he was denied it is now determined to destroy it for everyone else.
Now that we’ve laid the groundwork, by talking about Saito, let’s move to the main event.
Part One: Forsaken | Child
Carrying on the thematic torch, we get to AINI, and like with any sequel, the discussion about love has shifted. To simplify things, the discussion in the first game is “love good not loving bad.” Characters you’re meant to like are filled with love to give and are loved in return, characters who aren’t well...aren’t. It is good to love. I agree. But AINI takes this theme a step further: who/what do you love, and how? What does love mean to you?
This question shows up at multiple points. Komeji loves his family so dearly, but his pursuit of his dream he loves just as much keeps putting them in danger and costs him his wife and later his life. Shouma struggles to admit he loves his father, constantly fighting with him, until it is too late, and he’s gone, and there is nowhere for this love to go. At the cathedral Ryuki has to pick between Date and Tama: who does he love more? I could go on like this (we will get to Amame), but this all comes back to one source: Tearer. So, who does Tearer love, and how? What does love mean to him?
Tearer loves one person: his ‘mother’, Shigure Tokiko, the world’s worst woman. (I promise we’ll get to Amame when we fucking get there.) Like Saito, he is desperate for the approval and love of his parent, something he too does not get, but there are several fundamental differences. The first, and perhaps most obvious, is that while Sejima Sou is Saito’s literal father, and has not legally forfeit his parentage over him no matter how garbage and bereft of love he may be, Shigure Tokiko is not Tearer’s mother in any sense of the word. She did not give birth to him, she didn’t adopt him, she does not raise him with love or compassion—no. She and her partner/ex Horadori Chikara (the world’s other worst man) kidnapped him and keep him trapped in the fucking basement so they can harvest his fucking organs and body parts for their biological son they gave up but actually love, Furue Jin.
And as obvious as saying that might be, it’s actually pretty critical to begin here. Both of these environments are loveless. Sejima is implicitly neglectful, and I don’t like need to tell you what’s wrong with what Shigure and Horadori are doing, yet the results are fundamentally different. There are two reasons for this. The first is that Saito was always a Sejima, and his life began in a house without love, thus he never knew it in the first place, Tearer was once a little boy not unlike any other, happy, innocent, loved up until the day he was kidnapped. For a brief moment, he knew what love was, and that will always matter.
And this difference leads to the second, which is far more interesting to me. Saito decided that if he could not have love then no one could, that he would destroy every instance of it within his grasp with his bare hands out of spite purely because he could not have it and never knew it, and never once attempted to know it himself. But every single thing Tearer does is all in the name of love. He wants the world to laud him as a hero and savior, to recognize him as important. He does not care that he killed Komeji, or that he is going to kill billions of others, because from his point of view, he believes he is bringing them to true freedom. An act of service for humanity at large. This, as warped as it may be, is a version of love, and a request for reciprocation. He is obviously wrong to think like this, even if he himself cannot understand or comprehend it, but even if he somehow did, it’s secondary to his real motive, which again is for his ‘mother,’ who he loves more than anyone else in the world.
Everything he does, with the exception of trying to convince Amame of his totally based and epic gamer plan to wipe out all human life that also involved murdering her dad, is for her. That plan he came up with is based on her beliefs about the world that he dedicated himself to because she taught them to him, and he is devoted to her without question. Shigure may say that Naix is more scientific than a cult, and is thus better than whatever Horadori is doing, but Tearer is their #1 worshipper, and that is because he adores her. He wants to prove her beliefs correct, to brings everyone to Moksha, because yes everyone will love him and worship him as a hero obviously and his endless pain and torment will end and be retconned into having not happened, but mostly because it would make her happy to be right, and if he makes her happy, then surely she will love him in return, right?
Nonentity Incognito is a somnium about Tearer’s absolute desperation for Shigure to love him in the same way she loves Jin. He wants to be her son. He cries to be let out, somebody, “MOM HELP ME,” but she won’t, and no one else will. They take his ideas, his work, his organs, his skin—everything from him, while they leave him locked in a rusty cell in a basement with a door that cannot open from the inside, and yet he still cries from the bottom of his heart “I love you so much! Why won’t you love me? Why, mom, why?” But he knows exactly why she won’t. Because Shigure loves Jin, or at least she did at one point (she doesn’t anymore care much anymore given she’s all for Tearer’s plan that killed him). As much as he screams and cries and begs, she will never love him. She never has loved him. To her, he was just a child with the right DNA that could be used to save the kid that mattered to her. When asked if Tearer is her son, even when he is right there, she does not answer; the silence speaks for itself. Nothing he does will ever make her love him. He will never be her son, no matter how much he wants to be.
Some may wonder then, with this level of horrific abuse, why would he even want to? Especially since he hates Horadori and Jin for his torment, something that is no secret and is clearly illustrated within and outside his somnium. I mean he explicitly picks both of them as targets because he hates them that much. Horadori only tortures him, and Jin gets not only what Horadori takes but Shigure’s love, the one thing he wants, but why does he want it? Why does he want her love?
Part Two: Damned | Destiny
Shigure Tokiko has given Tearer exactly one thing. Not freedom, not remorse, not even a half-hearted apology, no she didn’t give him anything for his sake, but she did give him something. She taught him about her shitty cult ideology. Shigure believes the world is a simulation. Nothing is real, so there is no pain, and no sorrow, and no unhappiness if we just leave this false prison. She promises him that if he follows her, they can leave this fake world together, where true happiness, paradise, lies. . She does not tell him this because she feels sorry for him, it’s not for him, but because his obvious suffering is a confrontation of her guilt. He is in constant agony because they steal his literal body from him and keep him trapped in a dingy prison in the basement living off preserved food in a broken refrigerator, and if his torture is real, then she is culpable for it. It is her fault he suffers, so it cannot be real. This world where something this horrific happened, where she is enabling and partaking in something this cruel because she loved her son she gave up, Furue Jin—she cannot accept it. She promises him a world where he does not feel pain, and she does not feel guilt.
This obviously is just like shitty, and evil, which yeah, she runs a cult and kidnapped a child, of course she is shitty and evil, but he would not see it that way. To him, an orphan kidnapped overnight who routinely has had his organs taken from him by one of his abductors for another child who gets to be loved (or at least receives some approximation of it) instead, this manipulative bullshit looks like kindness. He’s so young. They took him when he was only six, and now this woman is promising him she can take him to a world where not only will he not be in pain anymore, but it will have never happened.
No one comes for him. He cannot escape. Even if he could somehow get the door open, they’ve taken enough of his lungs he has trouble breathing when he sleeps, so imagine every other physical challenge he could face in a body they routinely steal from. Of course, he clings onto her promises, her teachings; He has to believe her. What choice does he have? He just wants it not to hurt anymore! He is trapped in a cell, and she is telling him that they can leave it if they leave this world behind. He can be free. He doesn’t have to hurt. He will never hurt again. What she has to offer him is insincere, it is not helpful, and it is not even truly for his benefit (they even steal his work for Naix, insane, cant have shit in horaken), but who else is there to offer him anything? Shigure Tokiko does not and will never love him; she will never view him as her son. At most she sees him as a brilliant tool to further her agenda, a convenience as well as an organ donor, but he cannot leave. He is their prisoner, trapped, so her self-self-serving ‘kindness’ is the only thing he has.
They don’t let him go outside, cause obviously their unwilling organ donator can’t escape, and he’s only allowed to learn and do the things they think would be useful to them, (quantum mechanics, molecular biology, electrical engineering, Naix’ fucking teachings, etc), he has no friends or actual family, he’s lost his name, he’s lost half his face and body—what does he have that is his own? What can he have that is his own? What choices can he make that are truly his, when he has so little freedom? What else can he do?
This is where determinism comes into play. Because Nirvana Initiative is not just about love, it is about choices, and how those things often intersect and tie together: the things you do for those you love, the things you do to get it, how far you’re willing to go in its name. Tearer was willing to end the world in the name of Shigure Tokiko, because he loves her. He loves her because he has no choice but to love her, because in the situation they put him in he can make no choices at all.
When Horadori Chikara and Shigure Tokiko made that decision to abduct the child with the right DNA to save their son from his half body tumors, they sealed that child’s fate. Their love, however warped it may be, damned him into being Tearer.
Regrettably for literally everyone besides Shigure, this means he kills people, takes people hostage, blows up a building, tries to commit world genocide, dresses like a clown, and all in all just kind of sucks and posts cringe 24/7. My poor little meow meow lmao. He is the principal antagonist of the game, even if he turns out to be fucking dead for half of it. This is in part, of course, because this fucking unhinged maniac has no hobbies outside of Zero Escape and vaporwave and designed all of his plans to work with or without him being alive, but like Saito in the first game, Tearer is also representative of an idea. You may have already figured out what purpose he serves already, but if not, I think it’ll become much clearer once we talk about how he affects the story as the antagonist.
Talking about every single detail in AINI would take too long and waste a lot of time, especially since not everything that happens in the game is ties back to the HB case (hence some of the controversy), so our purposes we will focus on the characters most affected by Tearer: Ryuki Kuruto and Doi Amame. Ryuki first!
Part Three: Fractured | Mind
Now, to be completely fair, ya boi Ryuki was already going the fuck through it before the half body incident even started. Ryuki’s became a psyncer because of a childish sense of justice he cannot let go of because of the horrifying way he lost his twin brother, who was hit by a truck in pursuit of a criminal and half of his body was crushed beyond recognition. It was his brother with the heroic dreams, Ryuki is just carrying the torch. While the localization uses a reference to My Hero Academia, in the original Japanese, his catchphrase is an Anpanman reference, a superhero show for small children. He wants to do good, he wants to be a hero, to help people, but those naïve ideals can be easily twisted by his trauma and his grief, most notably into a profound hatred of criminals.
So, imagine you’re Ryuki, it’s the time of year your brother died, and now there’s a serial killer going around killing people by leaving half bodies: how do you think that’s going to go? And yeah! It goes like shit! He makes mistake after mistake after mistake, he’s constantly dissociating, memory lapses, he’s vibrating with anticipating waiting for Tama to give him the okay to kill some guys he thinks are tied to the incident, Ryuki shoots an unarmed civilian because he thinks they might be Tearer! He cannot separate his trauma from the case! And frankly, how could he be expected to?
I am not going to lie to you and pretend that Tearer designed the half body incident to trigger Ryuki’s personal issues deliberately. He didn’t. That guy doesn’t go outside lmao. But like Ryuki’s brother, Tearer too has been halved, and so he halves Horadori and Jin as punishment for what has happened to him. What is his catharsis is Ryuki’s trigger, and this inevitably leads Ryuki right into his grasp to be used, where the real shitshow begins.
Tearer has sabotaged Tama. He will kill her if Ryuki does not do what he wants, and what he wants is for Ryuki to kill Date and deal with any other minor nuisances in the meantime. And Ryuki shoots Bibi with a stun bullet, even if it worsens Bibi’s heart condition, because he loves Tama. He cannot bear Tama being destroyed, no matter how much Bibi screams at him, no matter how much she hates him.
He is under Tearer’s thrall up through to the cathedral, and he has one job. Shoot Date. Shoot Date, and Kizuna and Tama and everyone else in the cathedral gets to live! Seems easy, right? Even Date says he should shoot him. But despite this. Despite everything, despite all that is at stake, he can’t. Ryuki cannot shoot Date. It is the guilt of having shot Bibi, yes, but he loves Date. How could he ever shoot him? How can Tearer ask him to choose between the two people he loves more than anyone else in the world? How could he ever make this choice?
He can’t, so Tearer makes it for him, because Tearer has been making his decisions for him ever since he took Tama prisoner. He blows up the cathedral, and Mizuki loses her eye, and Kizuna is paralyzes, and Date is ‘killed,’ and Ryuki never moves on from this. He spends the next six years drinking into oblivion, his PTSD worsening, unable to forgive, unable to forget, unable to move forward. When ‘Jin’s other half’ drops he throws himself back into the case, still a wreck, still hallucinating, still having manic and dissociative episodes, to the point he doesn’t even seem to know what year it is, often interacting with others like it is 2020.
You might remember he caught TC-Perge, the bioweapon Tearer had Horadori Institute make, but the literal elements of a text are never just literal. When Ryuki dissociates or he hallucinates, it comes in the form of glitches to the matrix. Tearer believes in simulation theory, because of Shigure. She and Horadori kept him imprisoned, and she taught him the world itself is a fake they must escape from. For him, this virus is an escape attempt, but like how cutting people in half is cathartic for him but triggering for Ryuki, TC-PERGE is his prison.
Tearer is dead, but it is what remains of him haunts. It lingers, it possesses, and it does not let Ryuki forget or move forward. Ryuki is stuck in place, in February 2020 during the Half-Body Incident, because since it kept triggering him he ended up trapped, forced to do the bidding of the one that reminds him most of his trauma against those he loves most. He is trapped in the time Tearer stripped his agency from him, used his love against him, and that love is now his cage. It has transformed into guilt.
Who do you love, and how? What does love mean to you? Ryuki loved his brother, to the point that he choose to live the live he should have had, to uphold his ideals of justice. For Ryuki, love is grief is trauma. It is a list of reasons for him to hate himself. Tearer only adds to that list. He puts Ryuki in the same place he is, unable to move, clinging on to your own self destruction. For Tearer, it is the Nirvana Initiative, and for Ryuki, it’s the alcoholism, and the self-loathing, and the belief he has to solve and fix it all himself or die trying because it is the only way he can possibly atone. He takes a bullet for Date, even after he gets the pep talk from them and told they forgive him, and the only way he can atone is by working together to move forward. It seems only by taking it does he find his way out.
Ryuki gets cured. He will heal from his gunshot wound. Tama is free from Tearer’s clutches, and Date is fucking fine, and Ryuki will be okay. There was a way out of this hellish nightmare Tearer put him in, and it did not involve making the villains and himself pay forever indefinitely, it involved forgiveness. It involved accepting the love offered to you, because it should not be a prison, but freedom.
But the other person was not so lucky.
Part Four: Choose | Correctly
Okay to just take care of this, Tearer thinks he’s thinks he’s in love with Amame, but what’s actually happening is he hasn’t like seen a human woman who isn’t his ‘mom’ for like two decades, and his maturity levels are out of wack cause of the human experimentation prison cell thing, so his hormones are just going crazy. I have nothing further to say about this aspect. It’s just sad, and a little gross, and it’s not interesting. We’re moving on.
Determinism and causality already haunt Amame before Tearer kills her father. Doi Amame is a girl split in two. Every decision presented to her, every choice she makes is logged deep within her heart and kept perfectly preserved in bubbles, and sometimes she takes them out and rotates them, let’s the light distort their colors into something new. What if she stayed with her father during the divorce? What if she worked a different job? Less hours? Part of her is always in the past, ruminating on what could have been if only she had done something different, maybe it would have been better. In that sense, she and Ryuki have a lot in common, and it’s also why Ryuki should have been the protagonist full time, but this is not that essay.
We will briefly have to talk about Komeji, the king of bad decisions. If there were ever a reason for Amame to be constantly thinking about the consequences of her actions, it would be looking at her dad and going “Jesus Christ.” He loves family dearly, but he consistently makes short-sighted decisions that sound great in the moment, but get him and the people he loves further in hot water. This is why he thought it was a great idea to blackmail the serial killer with the body he found and stole, cause he was wasted, and hey it’ll get him money which he can pay the loan sharks with and then his kids will be safe right? WRONG. SO WRONG DUDE. Guy was a hot mess, and he pays for it with his life.
It because of that Amame and Tearer meet. Amame hides Furue Jin’s left half in the freezer in Brahman, and she shows up at Studio Dvaita just in time for Tearer to be finishing up arranging her father’s corpse, although she does not know it’s his at first. Their fates are now inexorably intertwined. “I met the person of my destiny.” Amame discovers her father in the body-bag.
While Tearer develops a bunch of fantasies about her over the course of six years, because what else is he going to fucking do I guess, Amame grieves and mourns. Her pile of capsuled choices only grows with every minute of every day, and she spends more time looking at them. Thinking about them. Wondering which choice was the correct one. Maybe she should have stayed with her father. Maybe she should have told the truth and worked less hours to come home early. Maybe she should have comforted him when Furue Jin’s body dropped on Face to Faith, because she knew he needed it. Could she have saved him then? Would he still be alive now? Yes, Komeji was a hot mess, but he was her dad! She loved him! And now he’s gone, forever.
Maybe she could have made peace with that, had her encounters with Tearer ended there. While it would never be fair, or right, knowledge that Komeji never made good choices, and that it was another bad choice that lead him to Tearer could be made peace with. With a lack of specifics about what Tearer was even trying to do before or after her father got involved with his plans, she could fill in the blanks herself, tell herself similar stories like the what ifs she conjures because there are no answers to her questions. But that is not what fate has in store for her.
Amame gets a phone call from Tearer. He wants to meet with her, because he is convinced, for reasons we will get to in a second, that she will understand him. And Amame, although she knows she hates him, knows she cannot forgive him for what he has done to her father, knows she is plagued by the decisions she has made that she can never undo, she does not call the police. She does not tell anyone. She accepts his offer, and she goes. She just wants to know what he has to say, right? She just wants answers. Only that. Then she’ll leave. Finally, an explanation for why her father was killed.
And she gets it! And it’s the worst explanation she’s ever heard in her entire life! Simulation? Moksha? Nirvana Initiative? What the fuck is he talking about? Her dad died for this? She asks him if he remembers what happened on February 13th, 2020, the day her dad was murdered. She is trying to gauge if he remembers what he did to her father, if he even cares at all. And all he has to say is “That was the fateful day I met you.” Her father? He doesn’t matter. Komeji died because he needed a body to put at Misetan since Jin’s other half was never returned, and Tearer considers this entire thing a performance and a game. It wasn’t personal, like Horadori, or Furue Jin. It meant next to nothing to him. Her father died for no reason. He just moves on! He laughs! He’s blathers on maniacally about his plans to destroy all life on earth in the name of liberation or whatever, right in front of a woman whose dad he killed that he doesn’t remember or consider important!
He thinks she thinks this is super based, and that he’s like the smartest guy ever, and that he’s going to save the day, and that it’s an honor she is getting the chance to work with him, that she is considered intelligent and special enough to know about their ideals. Why does he think this? Is he delusional? Has he lost his mind? Well, yes, obviously, that happened like ages ago when they started stealing his organs and trapped him in the basement, but there’s another layer. Shigure Tokiko does not love him, but she only ever validated him when he supported her cult ideology, and his other relationships do not exist. She is his only frame of reference. He wishes to connect with Amame because he wishes to connect with another human being and be understood, and Amame was there, but he only knows how to do that through this shitty cult he is thoroughly indoctrinated in to the point he kills people and plans genocide for it, and with all that in mind, the result is inevitable.
It was bold of him to turn his back to her. She was never going to understand him. Enda Amame knocks him out with a wrench, drags him to the slicer, and kills him in the same way he killed her father. Another decision she can never take back. But she was not alone. Shigure saw her kill him, and now she is under her thrall. She has to move not just his body, but hers, or else her secret will get out. So she helps Shigure with her plan, to keep her secret, and lives the next couple of days quiet and somber, lost in her what ifs and her grief. She cannot bear this weight much longer. Not just her loss, or the weight of the secret she now keeps, but the ever-mounting regrets that began years ago.
“I did what was best for me! I don’t care if people attack me for it, I have no regrets! I have no regrets!” Amame cries at the end of Nightmare Irreconcilable, a Somnium that plays through each of her regrets, and the things she could have done instead. She wants so desperately to believe this, because while she can imagine going to see Komeji instead of Iris, or picking him in the divorce, she can’t picture not killing Tearer, even though her regrets all lead her to that point. Even though killing him did not bring her father back, but just took her away from her brother, and Gen, and her other best friends.
When Tearer calls Amame “the person of his destiny,” he is correct, but not for the reason he thinks he is. Before him, Amame’s life is full of people who love her, and of people who love her in return. Yes, her father is a mess, and the divorce was hard, but she’s okay. She has support, and she’s kind and self-sacrificing and a little eccentric, but that just makes her lovable. The choices she makes matter but they are not a fixation of hers. The world is open. She is free.
But that day in Dvaita, the world starts to close up. She is still loved, and she still loves people, and she’s still gentle and eccentric, but she’s starting to close off. Her dad’s decisions lead to the slicer. What does that mean for her? Was the world always so small? He’s gone, and there are no answers, just a hole that will never heal, no matter how much people love her, or how much she loves in return. The pathways for her get narrower and narrower and narrower, leading her directly to that dingy cell that seals her fate. And just like the man she killed that was trapped down there, she too is treated as another disposable tool by Shigure Tokiko, and is currently trapped in a cell, not unlike where he used to be.
To talk about Tearer is to talk about Amame because to talk about Amame is to talk about Tearer. They are direct responses to one another. Tearer was damned into being so at age six. His ability to choose, to love, to decide were all taken from him when he was stolen from that orphanage. And this monstrous cruelty contaminates everything it touches. Tearer desperately tries to escape to a world where his trauma never happened because it is all that he is, and like him she fixates on imagined possibilities where things are better, because the pain of her loss is too much to bear.
The world was available to Amame, until it was infected by him, by what he had no choice but to become. He killed her father, and although the world was still available to her, she was still free, she could not see it. All she saw was the past she could not undo, the family she lost forever, and the man who was to blame. For that one moment, Amame threw out all the love the world still had to offer her because she hated him more, and immediately regretted it. It’s the cycle of cruelty, of abuse, of trauma.
Conclusion: Trauma | Symbolism
This is why Tearer fucking rules, more than anything else. He is the embodiment of trauma, the breathing symbol of thematic horror the cast is trying to overcome. That’s why half his body is literally fucking chitin, a visual representation of the wounds that do not heal. That’s why his personality is entirely formed by the horrific experiences he had at the hands of Horadori and Shigure, and why everything he does is motivated by that experience, down to his fucking name! He was literally trapped because when you’re traumatized it often feels like you cannot move from where you are. He clings to Shigure and her idealogy because she stands for nihilism. She promises all those that enter her grasp that this world is meaningless and the only real way to find happiness is by ending it all: a death wish. He never leaves the narrative, even after he’s killed, and killing him cannot defeat him, just perpetuates the cycle. Amame only comes out of that even more traumatized, more guilt-ridden and horrified, it adds to her trauma. Trauma is not something you kill. His plan to kill everyone is to make people destroy themselves from the inside out, by ruining their minds so they cannot interact with one another without inevitably causing pain.
The only way to stop him is through unity and attempting to mend bridges, by process the things that hurt you instead of bottling them up. Accept the love that people give you. Embrace the opportunities that the world still has to offer.
Bonus: Somezuki Uru
You must have one question left. How come in this entire essay, I never once called him by his real name? I even pretended for a second he lost it forever somehow. Well, that’s because…Tearer is an idea, isn’t he? He is entirely shaped by the horrors forced upon him. Like I just said, he is trauma. We don’t know anything about Somezuki Uru, other than he was orphan, a normal boy, and honestly based on knowledge of Sejima’s cursed dick and balls, his brilliance in technical achievement as Tearer is probably an indicator of something significant going on in his brain that just isn’t to the same degree as cancer or the oxytocin deficiency. My money is on autism (source: autistic). Everything else we get is shaped by the horrors, and I just talked about those at length. But if I still have you here…
It is 1996, and tucked into his bed at Aioen orphanage, Uru wonders what tomorrow may bring? Rain or sunshine? Outside the open window, the moon that hangs high in the half-clouded sky has no clear answers. The breeze smells wet. Maybe it’ll rain after all. Didn’t Mr. Chieda get that new game for the computer….? That might be fun to try. He yawns. The breeze smells dry again, but he’ll worry about it tomorrow. This great big world full of possibilities isn’t going anywhere.
I hope the world you live in right now is kind to you. Thank you for reading this.
#nirvana initiative#ai the somnium files#ai nirvana initiative#uru somezuki#somezuki uru#kuruto ryuki#ryuki kuruto#amame doi#doi amame#hope.txt#my meta#aini#ai series#I HAD A LOT OF THOUGHTS ABOUT MY GUY#SO HERE WE ARE#as for that second to last paragraph#its up to you how you interpret it#be kind to one another#okay?
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Dragon!Shifter AU
I wrote a little in the tags on the OG post but I am still thinking about this so...
The way Billy arrived at the academy, swooping over the castle and roaring loud enough to shake the walls before he flew up towards the Grandmaster’s tower and disappeared into the clouds, there’s no way for anyone not to know who he is and what he is.
Steve’s very used to the way the student body can latch onto a person and OBSESS. You’d think, with their powers and their lineages that the students wouldn’t be effected by things like fan mania, but no, they’re just as impressed by pretty faces and showboating as ordinary humans are. Steve can’t go anywhere without his classmates stuffing the poems and ballads they’ve composed - praising his pale elfin good looks and comparing him to snowdrops, stars, and moonlight - under his pillow or in his satchel when he isn’t looking. And at least once a week someone actually gets up the courage to stand in the courtyard and sing. He’s been crowned King of Midsummer every year that he’s been old enough to attend the end of term festival reserved for the higher level students.
But from the minute Billy Hargrove saunters out of the Grandmaster’s quarters he’s all anyone can talk about. It’s so fucking annoying. His golden skin and sun streaked hair, his glittering blue eyes and the flames that (apparently) dance in them when he’s wielding magic (Steve wouldn’t know because he can’t stand the prick and the less time spent in his company the better) and the inked markings that decorate his back and shoulders that glow gold just before he shifts his shape.
Steve knows Billy’s markings intimately because he sees them three times a week during Champions practice, usually right after Hargrove strips naked and dives from the banks of Emerald Lake, changing shape in a burst of golden magic just so he can knock Steve and the rest of his teammates off their feet with a ten foot wave. And Billy does that shit on purpose, because he doesn’t have to be big as a house when he shifts.
Billy has a demi form, effectively no bigger than a kitten. Steve can hold most of his bendy lizard like body in the palm of his hand while Billy’s long serpentine tail coils around his wrist, warm despite the cool scales that line his body. No one knew dragons could go small like this. Well, correction, Steve supposes it makes a lot of sense now why humans call so many lizards dragons. Wingless, one scaly lizard thing scuttling around looks like another, and it turns out Dragons have been coming to the human world far more often than people think.
Steve discovers that Billy can go small after Flight Studies one day, which he’s endlessly thankful is not one of the classes he has to share with Hargrove. While some elves have strong enough magic and a sturdy enough connection to the fae realm that they can achieve winged flight, Steve remains as grounded and talentless in this area as they come. It’s enough of a sore spot as it is because his dad and all of his cousins fly. The last thing he wants to put up with is Hargrove giving him shit about it.
Steve comes back from class still wingless, but sweaty from all that straining to connect with Gia, and immediately heads to the room he shares with Tommy in the Blue Hall to change before supper. He doesn’t expect to find anything but shirts and tunics in his drawer, so he nearly shrieks the house down when he opens it to find a big lizard thing coiled up in a nest of his shirts.
Patrick, one of the selkies who shares the room next door, comes running in to see what the commotion is about just as the scaly creature raises its long neck, blue green scales glinting in the late afternoon sunlight and yellow eyes fixed on Steve as it opens its mouth and hisses. It has a small row of very sharp looking teeth and a very pink tongue.
Steve slams the drawer shut.
“Whoa! What was that?!“ Patrick demands, drawing closer, only to scurry back along with Steve as the drawer with the creature inside rattles violently.
“I have no idea. Probably another one of Munson’s freaky little pets.” Steve seethes, speaking of the boy from Black Hall who is infamous for his love of dark magical creatures, the more dangerous the better. The drawer rattles hard before suddenly popping open, and one very pissed lizard crawls its way out onto the top of the dresser. it twists its upper body until its head faces the two gaping boys. For a moment Steve admires the elegance of its long body and the dramatic spiny fins that raise from its back as it elongates itself, thinking that the strangely human expression of absolute grump that it wears on a decidedly lizard like face is unexpectedly funny... and then the creature opens its mouth and Steve and Patrick bolt with a yelp, scrambling for the door as a stream of electric blue flame erupts from the creature’s mouth.
The House Head thinks they are pulling a prank when they bring him back to deal with the beast, only to find the room completely creature free and no sign of anything burning. But Steve knows what he saw, and Patrick isn’t known for being a prankster so the Head promises to go over to Black Hall and have a talk with Munson. He advises the boys to keep their windows shut going forward, so nothing has an opportunity to crawl in.
It doesn’t work, because Steve doesn’t know it but the creature was actually a dragon shifter who also happens to live in Blue Hall, just one floor below. Steve doesn’t notice either that first time that one of his shirts is missing.
Long before Billy was ready to admit he liked Steve as a person, he liked the smell of his soap and his magic. Dragons are creatures of indulgence, so the things they like they take to horde. Steve never gets that shirt back or any of the other things Billy ends up claiming from Steve’s room. Not until Steve starts sleeping in his bed. But anything he brings back with him from Billy’s room, Billy just replaces with something else.
It’s expensive dating a dragon, is what he’s saying. The only solution is to cohabbitate.
The First Part
#harringrove#billy x steve#Billy Hargrove#Steve Harrington#elf!steve#dragon!billy#the difference between elves and fairys is tolkien and santa clause so for this I'm keeping the two blended#poor wingless little elf#poor smol dragon being woken from his nap like that
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What r ur thoughts on daemon x rhaenyra relationship
Daemyra nation, rise up! For how much I shit on these two, you wouldn't realise I actually like them. I am not immune to Tik Tok edits with Unholy in the background. The chemistry between the actors draws you in, that's a given.
[I am not going to get into a heavy-handed disclaimer about this not being a healthy relationship, because that's just been dissected to death by now.]
I have to admit that Ryan Condal's declaration that Daemon was maybe in love with Viserys and wanted to be intricately connected to him explains so much about his character. But, at the same, it's so jarring to see how the majority of the audience insisted on perceiving him; the lady asking the question is a perfect example, she felt "betrayed" by the scene of Daemon choking Rhaenyra because she really wanted Daemon to have a heroic arc. But that's just not who he is a character and that's reflected both in his fucked-up relationship with Rhaenyra and in the way the audience insists on ascribing them a dynamic of wholesome domestic fluff that just isn't there.
I really find it very interesting how many genderbending questions this show indirectly poses about the characters. Would Rhaenyra have been much happier had she been born a boy and could have, therefore, married Alicent herself? Would Daemon have been happier born a girl and married to Viserys? It makes a lot of sense for someone so intent on cannibalizing Viserys to move on to the closest person with whom he could possibly recreate that, i.e. Viserys' own daughter.
In many ways, Rhaenyra truly is the wife Daemon always wanted - a perfect Targaryen princess with Targaryen parents & Valyrian looks, who could give him unmistakably Targaryen sons, place him in close proximity to the throne & forever connect him to Viserys. And, in many ways, Daemon is the husband Rhaenyra always wanted - a provocative, intoxicating bad boy that is such an arsehole to anyone BUT HER. He's a teenage fantasy. *cue Katy Perry's Teenage Dream playing in the background* I have no doubt that they're sexually attracted to each other. That they even get along fine on a day-by-day basis.
But I would like to challenge Daemyra citizens on the following points. Overall, I think Rhaenyra is a much better partner to Daemon than he is to her, because Daemon invariably seems to bail out on her whenever things get tough:
He abandons her in the brothel. I mean, kudos for deciding not to take her maidenhead after all, I suppose, but how in the world is she supposed to get back to the Red Keep? Does she even know the way? She could get both discovered and/or assaulted. Does Daemon think this a thrilling possibility somehow - of something happening to Rhaenyra, but him not being directly responsible? Or does he only think of himself in that moment and of his need to get away?
He abandons her at the wedding brawl. She was just challenging him to abscond with her to Dragonstone and marry her. Wouldn't a commotion like this be the perfect opportunity to slip away? Why ditch her immediately and not even try to protect her at least? Isn't she the reason he came back from his exile in the first place?
He abandons her during the eye-gouging trial. Rhaenyra could have been in big trouble here and Daemon doesn't lift a finger to help her in any way. Even though he is one of the few people who could have actually had some input, considering his girls were also hurt. He could have diffused the situation or even backed her up a little - anything. I would have been terribly pissed with him if he simply materialized by my side after I'd have been cut with a knife & he just stood there smirking by the door. Even Matt Smith added that Daemon would have been happy just to see them all implode. The only explanation I can think of is that it's in Daemon's interest as well for the Strong boys to be called bastards, since he gets closer in the line of succession if they're disinherited.
He abandons her during her difficult labour and miscarriage. I understand he may have been triggered and I'm even willing to consider the deleted scenes with him mourning on the beach as proof that he was genuinely saddened by all this, but come on. Rhaenyra is crying out for him and he ignores her. He can hear her through the castle walls; it's cruel. At some point, you've got to man up and go to your screaming (and possibly dying) wife. Even Jace & Luke go and see her & they're teenagers! Even Viserys has the decency to stay in the birthing room with Aemma.*
The choking scene has been debated to death already.
There is, nevertheless, more to this. I'm not going to deny that he respects Rhaenyra, as much as he can respect anyone anyway. He gives her back the egg. He begrudgingly follows her lead on the bridge when they're facing Otto in the final episode. He moves to stop Ser Criston when he rushes to aid knifed-up Alicent. He crowns her. He cuts Vaemond's head in half - but is this just because he insulted Rhaenyra or was he just itching for violence and saw an opportunity?
I do feel like Rhaenyra has some terrible blind spots in relation to Daemon. The appeal of their relationship is that it's exciting and enticing and taboo, but, ultimately, it will break down because both of them have this idealized image of the other that neither lives up to. Rhaenyra thinks of herself as the perpetual exception for Daemon and, while I don't believe Daemon would ever truly give her up, he does seem the most comfortable recreating a dynamic in which he is the senior, worldly partner that can impress a young, guileless girl and be somewhat of a mentor to her (young!Rhaenyra, Nettles, even Mysaria was in an inferior social role). I don't think he knows how to handle a relationship of equals. He seems to struggle a lot with the idea of Rhaenyra topping the hierarchy.
*So many parallels with Viserys, actually. He stays with Aemma, holds her hand and even tries to comfort her, but decides to kill her for the baby anyway. Whereas Daemon doesn't go to Laena, but refuses to allow the surgeons to perform a cesarean on her. I feel like he would refuse it for Rhaenyra as well, but, then again, he prefers to keep away and not offer her any support.
I also wonder if Viserys doesn't mirror Daemon in his choice of bride, too. Daemon wants Rhaenyra as a way to always keep close to Viserys, but what if Viserys chose Alicent because she was Otto's daughter, as well? As a way of keeping close to his dear friend whom he cherished and respected. Isn't Viserys' fondness for his Hand another reason why Daemon has a bone to pick with Otto?
#daemyra nation rise up#anti rhaenyra targaryen#anti daemon targaryen#anti daemyra#ask#anon#daemon can't seem to grow past grooming as a way to get close & establish a connection with a romantic partner
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Please tell me abt your OCs
No
Jk
Backstory lore dump i guess, i did not proofread this so if you see errors no you fucking didnt
You get Elliot because I like Elliot rn. Elliot was inspired by pirates, he even used to be one as he was adopted by humans. Hence why he parrot esque hair, bone appendages, and the flying dutchman colored magic. Very pirate stuff.
So a dragon socialized as a human and not a dragon makes Elliot incredibly different. He hadn't even seen another dragon until at port one day. Elliot being naive and dumb assumes the best intentions of this dragon when he approaches him and asks him for courtship. Elliot laughs and tells him to come along to sea.
This relationship is not good, his lover is a serial cheater. And as Elliot stumbles upon more and more books about dragons he learns he is an awful mate by raging beast standards too. Unfortunately, this revelation comes waaaayyyy too late. Especially after they both have joined souls.
When dragons have a strong connection with each other, they can form a bond that links their souls as one. This also allows dragons to draw power and magic from each other. It is supposed to connect dragons for eternity.
Since its so serious when a soul link is broken the dragon who broke it usually won't live more than a week, unless they have a new person lined up or go back to their ex. Obviously many would rather die, including Elliot, who strategically breaks the bond when they are at port and flees. He walks the coast out of town for days, completely drained and expecting to die.
That is until he is pummeled by Baron, who thinks he's on his sand to threaten his spouses or rob him.
Elliot lays on his then womanly charm, effectively pacifying Baron as he does appear very weak and not threatening to Barons testosterone.
It's actually Neve who whacks Baron on the head and suggests letting Elliot inside for a meal. As an apology for Baron pouncing him when Elliot technically wasn't even on Baron's property.
Elliots not dumb, he knows there's 3 dragons here at Baron's manor, that means at least one of them is single. (Right?)
And decidedly, that must be Neve as Neve keeps awing over him and calling him cute and masculine (tehe). The masculine part wasn't something Elliot usually heard but Neve is really good at picking up human gender. Baron is not and keeps accidentally misgendering him the whole dinner. Neve corrects him like the true MVP. Baron is confused but at least apologetic.
Dragon gender is based on wealth and who can birth babies. Since theres a lot of intersexuality in dragons the gender works on a gradient. Many to establish one's social hierarchy.
Neve eventually works the truth out of him, so Elliot suggests maybe he could form a soul link with him, or any other single dragon so he doesn't have to die right now.
Baron is annoyed with that. So he asked him. "So some lowly scum tricked you into a soul link and you couldn't break that one because you're weak, yet you expect to break another one with my spouse?"
Elliot obviously flustered doesn't say much as Lezna scolds him. Lezna doesn't think it's a bad idea for Baron to make it and then later break when Elliot is back in good health. Baron's never been one to turn down someone in need no matter how pompous he is. So he offers to make and break the pact for Elliot.
Elliot is of course thankful and spends every waking moment training to get stronger. He even tells Baron what the humans are up to now and explains some of their customs more in depth. He eventually gets around to explaining their gender and how he wants to be a man. It all kind of clicks for Baron after he tells Elliot he's a dragon not a human and Elliot reexplains. Baron tries to equate that to his own dragon gender and that helps him understand. It finally clicks for Baron that it's not Elliot wanting to change just his social status but also his physical traits. He enthusiastically tells Elliot that there's an ancient witch who knows a potion for making humans male. So if he can find him then it might work on Elliot!
This begins Elliots adventuring. He does find the witch, unfortunately the potion is much to weak and its affects are temporary , BUT he's able to bring the potion back to Lezna. They tamper with it ad it effects gradually help masculinize Elliot and keep him masculinized as long as he regularly ingests it. A lot of his adventuring is a conquest for gender affirming care.
He really does love adventuring and eventually decides to open an adventurers guild.
Also. Everyone kind of justtttt forgets about breaking the pact. Baron especially because he's afraid that after Elliot won't want to remain friends with him.
And y'know Elliot knows how awful it is to break a bond. He wouldn't want to do that to Baron. In fact. He should get strong enough so he can do it. That would be the right thing to do.
Lezna and Neve aren't about to remind amyone either. Especially Neve who is head over heels with adoration for Elliot. Then again everyone is, Neve just extra.
Some extra fun facts~
•Elliot is an amputee, he uses both mechanical and magical aids interchangeably to help him walk.
•He is Mzamaki's guild master, but he also attends the college that Mzamaki's is a professor at.
•The beads he wears on his hair are for each of his spouses. White for Neve, pink for Baron, and bluish black for Lezna
#mr orion elliot#ocs#my ocs#sketch#oc art#ask#oc ask#mr orion misc oc#oc bio#some worldbuild#worldbuilding#if you squint
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WIP Whenever
hiiiii i got tagged by @boethiahspillowbook
this is what i got so far on the azura and nerevar piece. not much further bc im still trying to figure out shading and how i want it to be. oof. also unsure abt azura's halo fsr it just looks.... off on her. and i think i wanna make some of the blood a brighter red to tie in together with all the rest of the red. lots of things im considering...
also for written wips. uh.
unfortunately i only have the. fucking cursed omegaverse nerevoryn im working on. once again never consider anything as like a joke or ironically that is the devil talking and you will start doing things for real.
in my defense though omegaverse is such a wild concept that trying to go "okay but seriously how would this work in a society and why would it be this way" is actually entertaining. very fun to go "yes, and...." over and over. oh, fated mates exist? what if they weren't just a cheesy soulmates thing but had a logical explanation. how would these dynamics effect various social classes? how would different cultures be effected? i have world builder's disease clearly
ALSO i tag anyone who hasnt been tagged yet and wants to :> i cant keep up with which of my mutuals have been tagged or not.... let me see ur ideas pls
--
“... In all honesty,” The healer began, sounding exacerbated, “I have never seen a case like this in all my years. But there is only one answer I can come to based on everything else.”
“Go on.” Nerevar tried to keep his voice level rather than annoyed. Azura knows how terrified most people got when he was angry.
The healer pinched the bridge of her nose.
“How familiar are you with fated mates?” At her question, Nerevar froze, stunned, before he gave a loud bark of laughter. The healer, however, did not laugh or smile back, and instead only looked more resolute.
“... Be serious with me.”
“I am being serious, Lord Nerevar.”
“Are you--are you seriously trying to say Voryn is my--”
“I understand how strange it sounds at first.” The healer cut him off. “Typically when someone meets their fated mate they determine it quickly. It only takes a few heat or rut cycles before the draw is undeniable.” She sighed once again. “I can only assume because you knew Lord Dagoth before either of you presented, the draw was less noticeable.”
It kind of made sense, to a degree. When people wrote about fated mates it was usually that they had a scent that was undeniable. Even passing by them on the street, you couldn’t get the scent out of your head for days on end, trying to find it again and again. Even those who tried to deny it couldn’t refuse the pull forever; heats and ruts were unbearable, the longing overwhelming the pair. No one had ever recorded an account of a fated pair who knew each other prior to presenting though; fated mates were absurdly rare, after all. They were more common in fiction than real life, and only the most hopeless of romantics ever went out actually looking for one. Most people just found a mate they liked rather than chase after some destined person, and why fated mates even existed was a mystery. Did everyone have one but distance kept them from finding one? That didn’t seem likely; the most common belief was that some people were born with them--not many members of the population, anyways--and even fewer actually found their ‘other half’. Someone meeting a fated mate before presenting, when you were children not off exploring the wider world yet, was even more unlikely. How would you react if you could constantly smell and see them before either of you presented?
Dumac told him the dwemer scholars believed it had something to do with ‘reproductive compatibility’. Not that it was a mystical, god given connection like some believed, but rather those with a fated partner were less compatible with most of the population, so when they did find someone they could produce children with easily, the desire to mate was enhanced strongly. Nerevar didn’t know if he liked that explanation either though. He found the ideas the gods made destined partners to love each other forever as too romantic of an idea for reality yes, but presuming there must be something wrong with them wasn’t much better.
It didn’t seem likely that he and Voryn could just ignore the draw for decades though, right? Surely that wouldn’t be possible. The draw was supposed to be strong, impossible to deny past a certain point.
Sure, when he was younger and Voryn was in a rut he always came by to check on him before he was shooed away, but that was just boredom. And when he was in heat Voryn would pass him notes under the door from time to time that he’d bury in the nests he made, but that was just because being in heat made him feel sensitive and sappy. Nothing more. And shouldn’t there be something more if they were a fated pair?
“Your other symptoms make me more certain of it.” The healer continued, pulling him from his thoughts.
“How so?” Nerevar raised an eyebrow.
“It isn’t healthy for an unmated omega to be around an alpha in rut.” She replied, a fact that always made Nerevar roll his eyes. “It causes excess stress, even if it doesn’t trigger a heat. Unless you are drawn to the alpha in question as a potential partner, usually a rut is off putting, distressing, or nauseating for an unmated omega.”
“They’ve never bothered me to that extent.” Nerevar snarked.
“Precisely.” She locked eyes with him. “You handle it more akin to an omega who’s already been mated, despite not having the scent of one.” Nerevar tensed at that. He hadn’t thought of it like that in the slightest; why would he? He wasn’t mated. Anyone could smell on him that he wasn’t. “Those who have met a fated partner experience mated behaviors before the bond is even set. Rejecting other suitors, unbothered by others in a heat or rut,” She sighed. “Lord Vivec even explained you are giving off the same scent as a bonded omega whose mate is absent.” Nerevar’s cheeks flushed at that.
“That’s--” Nerevar tensed slightly, “I wouldn’t go that far.” Surely Nerevar wasn’t. He wasn’t fucking bonded, why would he be throwing out the same scent as an omega who went into heat, begging for their mate to come tend to them?
“You are.” She asserted, though she did have some sympathy in her gaze at least. “Unfortunately, the best I can do is, if you truly don’t want the bond, I can give you suppressants. They won’t actively stop it given you already went into heat, but they should calm some of the worst side effects.” Nerevar already knew what she was going to say next though. “But your next one will be much of the same. The side effects will continue to worsen.” Short of running away to the other side of the continent and burning anything he owned that Voryn had ever so much as touched, he would be able to smell Voryn faintly, after all. In the palace, on his belongings, anywhere Voryn had been might trigger the worst of the symptoms all over again now that he had a heat triggered by his rut no doubt.
“At the very least, Lord Dagoth is in control of his emotions.” Voryn’s eyebrow twitched at that, his arms tightening. “You can spent ruts and heats together without actually mating, until you come to a decision on how to proceed. It should alleviate both of your struggles.”
Shit, Nerevar hadn’t even considered what Voryn must be going through. Was his irritation and lack of eating because he subconsciously knew Nerevar was supposed to be his but wasn’t there by his side? When he was younger was that out of character, violent rage because he knew, right there in the stronghold, his mate was being kept from him? No doubt the next rut Voryn would be uncontrollable; before he could hold back because he wasn’t consciously aware of what he wanted, but now that he knew it was Nerevar…
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Kaguya Ôtsutsuki as a character doesn't bother me much. She's kind of bland, I'm not gonna lie. But I like her design, her techniques are powerful enough, and she has a background. And she even has an objective quite basic but still... it exists. The problem isn't the character itself, but when you put her in the context of Naruto...
There are two things that bother me about her... first, she isn't needed for the ending (except for Boruto obviously) and her arrival makes Madara look so stupid. I promise it's not an anti Madara post. Bear with me. Well, the two things are very much connected, in fact.
I'm going to state the obvious, but Madara is everything the final big boss is supposed to be and have. He's teased since the beginning with the first battle of Sasuke and Naruto in the valley of the end. Madara and Hashirama statues are "watching" the figth, then Kakashi draws the parallel between Madara/Hashirama and our two protagonists. After the time skip, we have Kurama warning Sasuke and mentioning Madara. He clearly hates Madara and it makes you wonder why. He must be very dangerous. Then you have Itachi talking about "Madara" helping him in the massacre of his clan. Obito pretending to be Madara, everyone being quite afraid of him (you have Onoki who knew him). Minato warning Naruto about Tobi/Obito/fake Madara. Well, everyone knew (as watchers/readers) that Tobi wasn't Madara, but everyting there builds for Madara to come. And it's very important in a work. At the very end, you have to see Madara. That's it. He's supposed to be the main antagonist. Not to mention he's the one manipulating Obito and by extension Nagato. Everything started with him and it says everything you need.
Now about the character itself. How can I say it ? Madara is so fucking charismatic and badass. He's powerful, kind of insane, threatening. The war really starts when he appears. (In my personnal opinion, I found the war arc before his arrival quite boring). He almost killed all of the kages, he makes threats and you know it's not for nothing. We're shown how powerful he is.
Then, Madara has a plan, an objective. He knows what he wants and doesn't really care about what the others think of him. And even, I might add that Hagoromo if he was really needed... he could have easily appeared just to help Naruto and Sasuke to fight Madara. I mean they were both on the verge of death because of him. It's not like giving them a last power up there would be weird. That's why I find Kaguya useless.
Madara was enough. He was dangerous enough. He was already a challenge. He was already a wonderful "big boss" if I can say it. He has a very interesting background with powerful and scaring techniques. Naruto and Sasuke had a hard time dealing with him. Kaguya isn't needed simply because Madara exists.
I mean Kaguya really comes from nowhere. She's introduced at the last minute. There's no build on. She doesn't feel like she fits in the story. I believe there were so many other ways to introduce her later if Boruto was really supposed to be done. But hey that's for another say.
So back to Madara who looks stupid. Actually, it's not Kaguya who makes him look stupid, but Zetsu who did everything for his mother.
Why does he look stupid when you learn everything ? Because everything you were told about Madara until then was a lie. Madara being the "master mind" of the war ? Lie. Madara manipulating others ? That's still true, but he was himself manipulated by another character who is very boring in my opinion. Don't you feel annoyed to see all of these characters being manipulated ? You have Nagato (even if he was following his own plan) then Obito and now Madara... it's not even his plan anymore, it was Zetsu's plan. Zetsu was said to be loyal to Madara, then two minutes later, we are told the contrary. Madara was trying to be as powerful as Hagoromo... but well, Kaguya is even more powerfull. Kaguya being more powerful is not a problem either. It just comes with the whole package "everything you were told about Madara is mostly wrong".
You know what proves even more than she wasn't needed in the manga ? That everything happens after they seal her is not even impacted by it. Madara and Hashirama making "peace", the kages leaving in believing in a better future thanks to Naruto and Sasuke, Naruto saying goodbye to Minato, Sasuke revealing his real plan, the fight between Naruto and Sasuke at the valley of end... everything could have happened even if Madara was the final antagonist and "villain".
I'm totally going to do a post about the way I would have introduced Kaguya later (in another manga). Like I said, she could have easily appeared later if Boruto was going to happen.
#naruto#madara uchiha#kaguya otsutsuki#anti naruto ending#I guess#ramblings#I'm not even sorry for the long post#my thoughts
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I want to talk about vnc chapter 12/episode 7
Why? Because I need to finally rant so just bare with me *inhales* WHAT THE SHIT IS THIS I DON’T THINK WE LOSE OUR MINDS ENOUGH
I almost want to go panel by panel bc I still can’t believe this chapter exists. When I’m seriously interpreting/analyzing something in a series I try to look from an objective POV. Basically I push aside my shipper heart to see what the author is trying to do canonically. But every time I go back to this specific chapter, the only thing I get out of it is that Noé is going to fall in love with Vanitas. And for the first time, I feel like this is a possibility that could actually happen and that’s crazy. So okay let me go slowly bc what?!!!
First of all, the chapter frames Noé, Vanitas, and Jeanne in certain perspectives quite oddly. The anime does too so that’s why some believe Noé likes Jeanne instead. Which kinda doesn’t make sense for a number of reasons. Now there can definitely be some vampiric connection between the two.
But in terms of romantic interest, it doesn’t add up. Hell we’re 40 + chapters ahead of this one and I can count on my fingers how many lines they’ve said to each other. So if Noé liked Jeanne, it definitely would’ve come back into play by now. After Vani and Jeanne run off, Noé goes after them immediately. And given we’ve seen how fast he is, it’s most likely he heard and also saw their encounter. Meaning Noé knows 1) the uncertainty of Jeanne being a curse-bearer or not 2) her deal with sucking only Vanitas’ blood.
Now mind you, this was 44 chapters ago and Noé still has not told anyone this. Going back to him being good at keeping secrets but that’s it’s own topic. Then he gets this sad look on his face. Now what he ends up telling Domi is the truth. And I want to be more clear on this. I do not think at this point in the story Noé loves Vanitas. It’s more so how this chapter ends is what leaves me stunned but we’ll get there. Plus the fact that Domi, till now, thinks Noé likes Jeanne IS VERY PROOF THAT’S NOT THE CASE.
So when you do the process of elimination, Vanitas is the only logical answer!!! And this freaking line. This is a strong statement for someone whose only upset about a missed opportunity to taste some blood.
His heart was in pain. WHAT THE FUCK
But that’s the thing. Noé doesn’t lie. But he omits A LOT. It also can be that he just doesn’t fully understand so his mind jumps to the obvious conclusion. But if he does think there’s more to it, Noé didn’t tell Domi. Now we get the real meat of it all. Oh my lord so Noé poses the question: Why don’t Vanitas dance with Jeanne? And Vanitas gives the excuse that he’ll accidentally step on her. We later find out he can dance just fine, so perhaps a part of him is already giving distance. Not willing to be close to Jeanne beyond teasing.
Now...MOCHIJUN DID NOT HAVE TO DRAW IT LIKE THIS. She could’ve had Noé smiling and pull Vanitas in to dance without any close-ups. She could’ve made it a silly moment but no, we are meant to take this scene seriously
I’ve noticed Noé has a number of scenes that there’s a small panel to the side where his eyes are covered. And I think a lot of the time it was a moment involving Vani. It gives off the impression that Noé is feeling something the author doesn’t want to make obvious.
And then we get the fucking line. Let’s say I’m reading this all wrong. The fact that mochijun has her two male protagonists dancing together as one asks ‘what is love?’ Is proof that she is at the very least, not unwilling to go there. LIKE DO WE KNOW HOW WILD THIS REALLY IS? I truly believe the fandom accepted this moment way too casually.
Noé asking almost contemplative what Vanitas sees in Jeanne. Remember he knows Vanitas wants Jeanne to suck only his blood. He is confused why Vanitas suddenly gravitates to Jeanne. Vanitas lists his reasons, one that includes that she’ll never love him back. Noé is rightfully confused by this but Vanitas states that she doesn’t have to love him back. If mochijun wants to go the romantic route for Noe’s ‘love’ IT WILL BE EXACTLY THIS. Because if she goes the romantic direction. First and foremost, I will have the highest respect for this woman bc I know she must’ve entered a battlefield for that to happen. But more so, if my interpretation of all this is right. Noé may never tell Vanitas. Think about it.
Noé believes Vanitas loves Jeanne. So out of kindness for Vani’s happiness, he wouldn’t say anything. That’s just the type of person Noé is. But also, the amount of effort, time, and vulnerability it took for Noé to get as close as he is with Vani. You think he’s going to risk jeopardizing ALL of that? And that’s the tragedy and beauty of it all. Vanitas doesn’t have to know that Noé loves him. No one has to know. But if again, this possibility is canon, we the audience know it’s going to be a inevitable regret down the line.
Finally the chapter concludes with future Noé narrating how this feeling will be a mystery for quite some time. I’d like to point out how Vanitas didn’t dance with Jeanne in fear of stepping on her toes but Noé does exactly that to him. Honestly my second favorite chapter. It felt like seeds were being planted for them to sprout into fruition later on. So many little details felt purposeful and it was the moment I really believed in vnc’s writing.
#the case study of vanitas#anime#vnc manga#les memoires de vanitas#noe archiviste#vanitas no carte#jun mochizuki#noé#vampires#Vanitas#Jeanne#vanijeanne#noé x vanitas#vanoe#chapter analysis#love#lgbtq#queer#Noé is gay idc#I’m still mind blown this exists#vnc#manga#dancing#Noé is in love#or going to be#angst
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