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nakakitty · 2 years

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Abrir os olhos - Taeyong

notas: Hoje eu tô mais tristinha do que o normal porque se eu não tivesse feito uma grande cagada, eu estaria completando um aninho de namoro hoje kkk, eu comecei o dia feliz até que o lembrete no meu celular que eu botei há um ano atrás apareceu, então escrevi isso aqui baseado em Someone Like You, enfim k espero que gostem! (eu chorei escrevendo)

avisos: angst, aqui tem muito chororô, dor e sofrimento, prepare o lencinho, ou não porque eu que sou tapada e choro ksksksk

Você se olhou no espelho sorrindo. Seu lindo vestido de noiva que chegava a arrastar no chão, junto do véu que estava sobre seu penteado perfeito faria Taeyong se apaixonar mais ainda.

Mas espere, abra os olhos…

Você está com os cabelos soltos, um vestido azul-marinho, assim como as outras madrinhas do casamento, e o vestido de noiva que deveria estar em você, está sendo usado por Ahri, sua melhor amiga. Ela vai ser a futura senhora Lee, e não você.

“_____, eu não estou linda?”, ela perguntou, inocente. Sim, estava linda, ela era linda, perfeita. Perfeita para Taeyong, e a pessoa perfeita para Taeyong, não era você.

“Sim, Ahri, está perfeita”, disse com os olhos marejados.

“Ah, não chora! Eu sei que você está emocionada, e eu também estou.”, Ahri correu para lhe abraçar, a prendendo entre os braços. Mas você não estava emocionada. Estava feliz por ela, mas estava triste, sentindo uma dor imensa invadir seu coração, como se estivessem o apertando. Se sentia muito egoísta por ficar triste com a felicidade dela, mas não conseguia controlar. A noiva deixou uma lágrima de felicidade escorrer, sendo acalmada pelas outras madrinhas. Você levantou seu braço fazendo um carinho nas costas da coreana que ainda a abraçava.

“Se chorar, vai estragar sua maquiagem, seque suas lágrimas para subir no altar, está quase na hora do melhor dia da sua vida.”, você disse sorrindo forçado, e ela retribuiu o sorriso secando o rosto com um lenço que estava sobre a penteadeira.

Dentro de vinte minutos, Lee Taeyong, o homem que você ama, vai se casar e não vai ser com você. Tem vinte minutos para falar com ele novamente, porque depois daquele dia, não vai conseguir sequer estar perto dele. Não aguenta o fato de que ele vai ser de outra mulher, uma que vai oferecer mais do que você pôde, que vai fazer as coisas que você não pôde fazer.

Tudo passou tão rápido.

Você fechou os olhos, e quando os abriu, ele estava com você. Viveram dois longos anos, os melhores de sua vida, juntos. Mas ele nunca assumiu você porque a família não a aceitaria, e você jurou que já havia aceitado, mas por que você ainda sente tanta falta? A resposta é simples: porque você o ama.

Você fechou os olhos, e quando os abriu, estavam na casa dos pais de Ahri. Ele estava ajoelhado na frente dela, com as alianças em mãos, dizendo a ela o que você queria que ele tivesse dito pra você. Você queria estar no lugar dela naquele dia, tanto que nem aguentou vê-la dizer “sim”, apenas saiu o mais rápido que podia para chorar. Isso apenas seis meses depois de terminarem. Ele te superou tão rápido…

Você fechou os olhos, e quando os abriu, estava na frente de Taeyong. Ele estava tão lindo naquele smoking, o cabelo penteado para trás. Olhou para o pulso dele. Ele ainda usava o relógio que você havia dado de presente quando completaram 1 ano juntos.

“_____? ‘Tá tudo bem?”, ele perguntou preocupado por te ver na frente da porta do quarto dele, imóvel. Imediatamente você caiu sobre os próprios joelhos, e pôs as mãos no rosto, chorando incessantemente, o que o fez correr até você e se agachar no chão. “Ei, ei, ei, o que houve?” Taeyong tocou em suas mãos as retirando de seu rosto, sentindo o coração doer ao vê-la tão frágil.

"Eu nem deveria ter aparecido do nada, mas eu não pude evitar”, você disse com a voz embargada. “Saiba que eu desejo o melhor para você, que você seja feliz com a Ahri e seja o homem pra ela que você foi pra mim, talvez ainda melhor, mas saiba também, que eu não vou estar aqui para ver você subir no altar e esperar por uma noiva que não será eu. Eu te amo, e isso é perigoso pra mim, porque o amor que ainda sinto por você, me corrói, e está me corroendo mais ainda pelo fato de que você não me corresponde mais.”, dessa vez foi a vez dele chorar.

“Eu não quis te machucar, eu…” ele soluçou, “eu fui muito feliz ao seu lado, você me fez muito bem, mas meus pais não iam aprovar, eles não-”

“Taeyong, não precisa se justificar.”, o interrompeu e subiu o olhar para ele. “O que aconteceu eu já sei e você sabe que não tem como mudar o passado”, você se levantou e respirou fundo, “Eu vou embora de vez da sua vida. Diga à Ahri que eu não estava me sentindo bem, se ela perguntar por mim.”

“_____ não…”, ele implorou.

“Taeyong, eu preciso ir… Algum dia nos encontraremos de novo.”, você deixou um selar na testa do Lee. “Eu te amo…”

Você saiu do quarto, o deixando sentado no chão, chorando sem parar. Ele havia te perdido de vez, e agora você faria o que já deveria ter feito há muito tempo. Esquecê-lo.

Agora sua esperança era encontrar alguém tão bom como ele, ou melhor ainda.

#eu me odeio kkk #nct angst #nct127 angst #taeyong angst #nct scenarios #nct127 scenarios #songfic

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cravingbro · 1 year

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Crestfallen

siblings songfic : 510 words — quarter life crisis, post-relationship anxiety, mention of depression, family open house.

At first, I'd never understand how he managed to keep himself sane enough to live his life when his world was torn apart. He recently lost someone who he thought was his other half. He was surrounded by impossible expectations made by the society as he is the first child and a decent guy.

"Please, I'm not that good," whispered my brother everytime a family member praised him. Of course, nobody heard him other than me. He would look at me with weary eyes and sighed. Then he sat down just to placed his head on my shoulder and closed his eyes for a few minutes.

"But I think you're that good," I replied. He chuckled as he tickled my knee. "Good at what?" he asked.

"Making me mad."

"Silly girl," he said, pinching my nose quite harsh as he usually does. "We live under the same roof. Of course you know me well," he continued then got up from his seat.

"But they don't," he said as he pointed at the eldery. "And I guess they never will."

"Is that a problem?" I was a senior high school student at that time while my brother was in his senior year of university. He nodded but then he murmured, "But I got you to tease whenever I want. So, I give my life a pass."

"What that even mean?!" I slapped his shoulder quite harsh, causing some of our family members glared directly at us. Rather than apologize, my brother stated, "She wants to walk out, but I said maybe no because it's raining outside."

"Why not? You two can go out. The view outside is amazing," replied one of our aunt. He grabbed my wrist and said thank you. Then he brought me out along with his tiny and full-of-spirit steps.

I sighed as I wore my sneakers, "You always use me—"

"Oh, shut up! I know it's so boring to be trapped in a family's open house," he whispered and smirked. "Also, I'm currently depressed and my punching bag is you, Sis." He pretended to punch my cheek but ended up pinching it softly. He might appear fine and able to smile cheerfully all the time. But when he mentioned his depression, I knew at that time that he was not joking. So I hugged him from the side as we started walking out. He already held an umbrella on his hand and opened it right before we reached the door.

"Sometimes I wish I can just stop growing and freeze my life just like this. Starting my twenty-years-old journey ... sucks ... so much. I hate being told I need to grow up and leave house one day. Then I have to be independent so that I'll be a good husband my future-wife could rely on. Shits just never stop ringin' in my head, to be honest," he explained as I pat his head.

"Don't marry anyone then. I'm not planning to marry someone either," I responded. He laughed immediately and bumped his head on mine before he replied, "Good idea."

Song Inspiration :

#brother #fanfic #buddie fic #fic #jaehyun #jaehyun au #nct au #nct jaehyun #siblings au #short ficlet #songfic #poetsandwriters #original poetry #Spotify

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shapeshifterraccoon · 8 months

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where is my iwaoi broken melodies songfic??? rude???

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ghostofhyuck · 1 month

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NCT Dream as Angsty Day6 songs

AN: It's Day6 comeback and I just missed them so so much!! Just a small tmi, I used to write songfics for Stray Kids using Day6's songs, so writing this kinda reminds me of my old fics. (All of them are deleted now, unfortunately.)

Mark Lee ; I Smile

Mark just reminds me of I Smile so so much. It feels like ex-lovers who crossed paths once again. One is happy while the other one is not, wasn't able to move on properly and while he sees you happy with someone else, he tries to be supportive of you!! Mark will congratulate you even though it feels bitter for him, and will give you an assuring smile so that the frown on your face could turn upside down.

Huang Renjun ; You were beautiful

Of course Renjun's You Were Beautiful I MEAN look at this beautiful creature and tell me that he doesn't suit YWB??? He's that lover that you once had. Your relationship with him was the very best, and was everything that you want BUT sometimes, relationship do not work out and unfortunately, it didn't work out with you and Renjun. So the only thing you can do is reminisce the beautiful memories of him.

Lee Jeno ; Letting Go

Already crying with this one BUT Jeno's Letting Go. It's just. It suits him so much, like a last goodbye to someone that has been very very dear to you. All the time you had together, all the things you two had done, will be gone in just a simple goodbye. You know it's hard for both of you, but it's for the best to just let go of each other even though there's a small hope inside you two that wanted to try again, but chose not to.

Lee Donghyuck ; I Would

This one felt like regret and rage. It suits Haechan so much because I feel like he's very emotional when it comes to relationships especially on fights. I Would sounds like someone regretting letting go of someone because of a petty mistake. Now he could do nothing but to yearn and he wanted to win you back, but he can't because he felt like he already lost even though he hasn't started yet.

Na Jaemin ; I Loved You

I Loved you = Jaemin. End of discussion. Jaemin felt like a first love whom slowly drifted away from you. It sounds like a first love that hit you hard like a truck, (really.) but that's the problem! Jaemin doesn't reciprocate your feelings. You're in an unrequited love with him, and it took you YEARS to moved on from him. But fate loves to play games because at the moment that you lost your feelings to Jaemin, he suddenly began noticing you.

Zhong Chenle ; Goodbye Winter

In contrast to Chenle's summer vibe, he suits Goodbye Winter so much. He reminds you of winter, the day you two broke up after the many trials you two had. You remember how cold it was, on the outside of your apartment as you talked to him. Tears streaming on your face, and you can see the pain in his eyes too. You two agreed that this is the end, and at the first fall of snow, you two shared a hug before he leaves you there.

Park Jisung ; First Time

Yes First Time is lively BUT let me tell you, the lyrics are just something else. First Time suits Jisung so much because it feels nostalgic. Like a childhood friend who was separated and found each other again. The problem is, Jisung doesn't remember you at all. And while you yearn from afar, Jisung is completely clueless about you. It hurts but there's nothing you can do at all, so at the end, you let go at the idea of having your childhood friend back.

#nct dream #nct imagines #nct dream fic #nct fic #nct fluff #nct #nct x reader #nct dream imagine #nct scenarios #nct dream fluff #nct drabbles #nct dream reactions #nct mark #nct jeno #nct renjun #nct haechan #nct jaemin #nct chenle #nct jisung

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sourbinnie · 1 year

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ღ guide ღ

hello ¡!

this is sourbinnie's guide to requests & masterlists

▽ who is sourbinnie ¿? ▽

a writer from argentina / a crazy boy inspired by songs / a 22 year old with too much free time (or not) / a cat lover (that's it)

▽ what does he write ¿? ▽

angst mostly but also fluff, smut & other universe type of stuff. mostly concentrate on idol x reader though (i'm not that creative i'm sorry). mostly inspired by songs that i have on my playlist so yeah very music driven.

▽ can i request ¿? ▽

ofc! all requests are welcome any time. you provide me the plot or just say which genres and what you want to include on the fic + which idol you want me to write for & i'll do the work.

▽ what don't you write ¿? ▽

i don't write violence scenarios like pushing, hitting, slapping or whatever can be classified under it. i also don't write self harm or abuse because it's too triggering for my personal liking. another thing that i don't write is shipping, i don't mind if other people do it but personally i don't see myself doing that.

▽ what type of writing do you do ¿? ▽

you can request reactions or scenarios + imagines + most likely + songfics.

▽ what groups do you write for ¿? ▽

stray kids + seventeen + enhypen + bts + got7 + ateez + nct (all subunits) + tomorrow x together + monsta x

learning about (so i can write for them too) -> exo + ikon + treasure + the boyz + cravity

▽ can i request for a female/male reader ¿? ▽

ofc! i usually write in gender neutral so everyone can be included but if you desire for me to write for you with she/her or he/him pronouns, i don't mind.

▽ why are #thoughts not in the masterlist ¿? ▽

i will tag #thoughts with their respective genres so you can browse through them, they're not my main imagines so i don't count them in the masterlists.

#sourbinnie

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hansolsticio · 2 months

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Futuramente (quando eu tiver tempo e paciência) quero mexer com songfic.

Já separei dois trechos de músicas que eu associo com um membro do nct e outro com um membro do seventeen. Tenho um plot na cabeça com os dois, mas queria saber se vocês conseguem adivinhar a quem cada trecho se refere?

#🪞 ' solie talks.#na minha cabeça é muito óbvio #porque faz total sentido

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butterflies-and-yuta · 1 year

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Announcement

Hello everyone, I am not dead, just been dealing with school that I will not have to deal with until next year so yeah, now that I am back, what would you guys like for me to write about, I am open to any requests as long as they don't make me feel uncomfortable, the stuff I will write ranges from

Yandere.

Mafia. (Do not romanticise the real life ones)

Alternative universe (AU).

Crossover.

Darkfic.

Fix-it fic.

Hurt/comfort.

Self-insert.

Multicross self-insert.

Songfic.

Uberfic.

Vent.

Headcanon.

Coffee Shop AU/Barista AU.

Cyberpunk.

Crime AU.

BDSM AU.

College AU/Highschool AU.

Noir Detective AU.

Mundane AU.

Pornstar AU.

Punk AU.

Rentboy AU or Hooker AU.

Spy, Secret Agent, Assassin, or Hitman AU.

Curtainfic.

Gen Bed Sharing.

Forced Bed Sharing.

Gen Bathing.

Marriage.

Forced Marriage.

Kidfic.

Marriage of Convenience/Pretend Couple.

Weddingfic.

Accidental Marriage.

Arranged Marriage.

Casefic

Crossover

Harlequin

Holidayfic

Hookerfic

Hurt/Comfort

Sickfic

Incest

Twincest

Interspecies

Forced Proximity

Cave Story

Desert Island

Canadian Shack

Snowed In

Elevatorfic

Amnesia

Character Death

Deathfic

Crossdressing

Didn't Know They Were Dating

Disability Fic

Dominance Hierarchy

Dub-con

Fever Dream

First Time

Hatesex/Enemyslash

Huddling for Warmth

In Vino Veritas (trope) (Confessions -- of love or lust -- Under The Influence)

Kink

Knotting

Let Me Be Weak, Let Me Sleep

Mates (trope)

Mind control or Brainwashing

Mission Sex

Pair the Spare

Pining

Pregnancy

Presumed Dead

Pretend Couple (including Pretending to be Married, Marriage of Convenience, etc.)

Fake Dating

Robots

Heat fic

Mating

Sex Pollen

Sex Magic

Secret Siblings, especially Evil Twins

Skin hunger

Soulbond

Virgin!fic

Secret Virgin

Yenta.

Childhood Sweethearts

Enemies to Lovers

Enemies to Friends to Lovers

Friends to Lovers

Hallmark AU

In which they are exes thrown back together by a chance visit to their hometown (usually for a holiday).

Mutual Pining

Oblivious Pining

Requited Unrequited.

Angst.

Smut.

Fluff.

Full stories.

One-shots

Reacts.

Imagines.

And as for the groups or soloists, I might just stick to NCT before going into other groups, so if you guys actually might like me exploring other groups or soloists, or even actors then just leave a request either down below in the notes section or even ask me or DM me a story you would like me to write. But until then yeah, the ones that are written down are the things I will consider writing about, but I will also do other stories as well that weren't requested and are actually from me or even ones I made with another author if I can do that, but until then, this is what I'll be working with, so yeah, like I said before, make a request either through the comment section on this post, or just ask me or DM me, and then I will randomly pick a request to write about.

And I will see you all on the other side once I'm done

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mint-yooxgi · 2 years

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hello!! do you accept requests inspired by songs or songfics??

I don’t take requests at all unless they’re for an NCT Drabble at the moment. Though I'm not sure if drabbles would be long enough to encapsulate a song fic, I can always see what I can come up with. I’m not gonna promise much but for sure you can send in song as an NCT Drabble prompt

#ask

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raspberriesoda · 1 month

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⌕ search : writing guidelines

» requesting

i am always open to new ideas and sharing thirsts in my asks so please feel free to send them in, however i can not always guarantee i will fully write out your request!

anyone is welcome to request (following guidelines ofc) fic ideas, fake text ideas, au ideas, songfic ideas, or even just send me a picture that you think could inspire something! (the more specific your request the better!!)

all that being said though, please know that if i do not write your idea it is not personal, i just have a little rat brain and can only write something if i feel a lot of inspo for it! but every ask is incredibly appreciated nonetheless 🤍

» what i write

i write fics for the members of nct dream! i will write fluff, angst, smut, and any combination of the three

all of my fics are non!idol and afab/female!reader unless specified otherwise (i am open to writing gender neutral!reader, but being a female i don’t think i could write male!reader unfortunately)

» what i do not write

themes i will NOT write about that are completely non negotiable include noncon/dubcon, incest/stepcest, sexual assault, foot fetish, watersports/scatplay, and ageplay

themes that are on a case by case basis that i am not normally inclined to write and/or will take caution in writing about include cheating/infidelity, mental/physical illness, pregnancy/breeding, and abuse/drugging (but NEVER if a dreamie is the one doing so)

also note that just because i personally am uncomfortable with writing something that does not mean i’m judging those who do enjoy said themes (meaning the ones that are not inherently problematic of harmful; you do you as long as its safe and consensual 🤍)

these lists are subject to change if i find something new to add so always check this section when requesting!

#judah.navi

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tyongxnct · 3 years

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𝑓𝑒𝑒𝑙 𝑚𝑒 - 𝐽𝑢𝑛𝑔 𝐽𝑎𝑒𝘩𝑦𝑢𝑛

pairing: Jaehyun x reader

summary: After your break up with Jaehyun, you were always on his mind. It’s been almost two years and he missed you so much, it was torture being without you. Nobody loved him like you did and no matter how much he tried to get you off his mind, he only wanted you. Every night a different woman in his bed but he always imagined you. Jaehyun wanted you back but were you ready to face him?

song: feel me - Selena Gomez

genre: angst, exes-to-lovers!au

warnings: mentions of cheating, swearing, alcohol consumption, mention of sex

word count: 3,7k

A/N: this is part two of lose you to love me I hope you like this, I literally wrote this in five hours lmao, have fun reading and don’t forget to listen to feel me by Selena Gomez!

taglist: @fluffyjaes @m1na4u @cosmiclatte28

No one love you like I love ya Never cheat, never lie Never put no one above ya I gave you space and time And now you're telling me you miss it And I'm still on your mind We were one in a million And love is hard to find

Do you stay up late, just so you don't dream?

“Hey buddy. Are you ready to go home?”

Johnny looked at his friend with worry in his eyes. “Let’s stay a little longer. Please Johnny.” Jaehyun begged Johnny. He needs the distraction. He needs the alcohol to feel numb, the pain he feels is slowly killing him.

“Come on, it’s late. You need some sleep buddy.”

“N-No Johnny please- I don’t want to go.” Jaehyun mumbled.

“Jaehyun-“

“You can go home if you want. I’m going to stay. I don’t want to be alone.”

Jaehyun and his wife, his ex-wife now, divorced almost three months ago, about five months after their wedding. Jaehyun met her one night at the club and she wrapped him around her finger and one night became many sleepless nights together. He should be with you, his girlfriend, but the woman in his arms was someone else and after spending so much time with her, he was confused and thought that he fell in love with her.

Breaking up with you wasn’t an option, he was still in love with you, he was just bored after spending years with you and he wanted something new, something exciting and cheating behind your back was the only way he could feel the thrill.

Jaehyun really wanted to marry you, but not while he was cheating and he couldn’t stop, he couldn’t stop secretly meeting her and talking to her when you were sleeping. Jaehyun didn’t want to let go of that thrilling feeling and whenever you talked about marriage, he feared loosing the excitement he felt when he was with her and not with you. But Jaehyun never thought that the option of you leaving him was there. He never thought about how you felt and how he treated you. Jaehyun thought you’d stay with him forever, no matter how long it would take him to breakup with her and marry you.

You were always there and when you told him that you want to breakup, he didn’t know what to feel or what to do. Should he stop you from leaving? Should he break up with her and just marry you?

After you left he spend more and more time with her and when he did the mistake of asking her to marry him while he was totally wasted, she agreed and it didn’t take long for them to say yes.

Jaehyun did many drunk mistakes in his life and he slowly realized that everything leads back to her, his ex-wife. Your relationship was destroyed because he cheated on you with her, your relationship was destroyed because he told himself that he wanted her and not you, your relationship was destroyed because he couldn’t stop his affair and his relationship was destroyed because he let you go to be with her.

Jaehyun realized while he was married, that every decision he had made was wrong. Everything he did to push you away was wrong. The thrill he always felt was wrong. The excitement he felt when he was with her was wrong, everything turned upside down and he regrets chasing that weird feeling he felt when he first met her. He regrets letting her in and letting you go. The love of his life.

How could he? How could he do that to you? How could he destroy the best thing that had happened to him?

After the divorce, Jaehyun felt lonelier than ever, but he didn’t know why. He didn’t know that the missing puzzle piece was you and that it was always you he needed and loved.

He didn’t know that you were the one his heart longed for, but after seeing you one night with your friends at a bar, after seeing you smile so happily, he realized that the missing piece was you. Jaehyun realized how lonely he was because you weren’t there, because he didn’t see your face and that beautiful smile you have.

Jaehyun’s chest tightened and he left the bar before you could see him. Jaehyun was ashamed, he couldn’t face you after everything he did to you.

Jaehyun missed you every passing day more and more. He was thinking about you and every time he remembered the way you looked at him when you broke up with him, he found himself crying and suffering because you didn’t deserve any of that. You didn’t deserve to be treated like how he treated you. You were everything and so much more.

Jaehyun regrets leaving you alone all the time and the one time he asked you to stay longer at Yuna’s makes him so mad, because back then, he missed you so much but he ignored the feeling until you left him forever.

“Dude, come on-“

“Seems like your friend doesn’t want to go home yet.”

Jaehyun and Johnny looked at the person talking. A pretty woman, her body barely covered, and the look in her eyes was enough for Jaehyun to stay and not go home.

“Don’t worry, I can keep an eye on him for you.” She winked and Johnny looked at Jaehyun who was so drunk that he didn’t mind staying with her.

“I don’t think-“

“Go home Johnny. I’ll see you tomorrow.” Jaehyun turned away from Johnny to the woman and next thing he knew was how she sucked his dick in her bed.

Jaehyun couldn’t sleep at nights, whenever he closed his eyes he saw you and you followed him in his dreams. The painful look in your eyes was burned in his mind and every dream was about you and losing you. He didn’t want that. He didn’t want to wake up from another dream.

Do you stay up late, just so you don't dream?

Every time your lips touch another I want you to feel me I want you to feel me Every time you dance with somebody I want you to feel me I want you to feel me

Jaehyun spend nights with many different women under him. He tried to replace you, he tried to keep you off of his mind, but he failed every time.

He closed his eyes and pressed his lips on hers, he didn’t even remember her name but he also didn’t care. Jaehyun imagined you under him, he imagined your lips kissing him and your hands on his chest. Jaehyun’s favorite position was fucking from behind so he wouldn’t see their faces when he fucked them.

“F-Fuck Jaehyun.” She moaned when he sucked her neck and slowly fingered her.

“Don’t talk or I’ll stop.” He mumbled as he kissed her again to shut her up.

Jaehyun always told them to stop talking so he could imagine it was you he was fucking. Sometimes, your name slipped his lips but he didn’t care. If this is the only way he could feel you again, he wouldn’t stop.

Do your days get a little bit longer? Nights get a little bit colder? Heartbeat a little bit louder?

His friends were worried. Especially Johnny, his best friend.

Jaehyun would spend all of his free time in clubs and bars and drink until he couldn’t even walk properly. With no sleep, his days got longer and he felt stuck. Jaehyun felt like he was stuck and there was no escape. Every day was the same but the pain in his heart got worse and worse.

He was so drunk, he could hear his heartbeat in his ears and he thought he was going to die. Jaehyun really thought that it was the end of everything. The end of his suffering and the pain and the end of your story.

But when he woke up in the hospital, he knew that it wasn’t over. He still needs to suffer because you were also suffering for so long. Jaehyun knew that he needed to suffer more than you did, he knew he deserved all of this.

“Finally awake huh?” Johnny said.

Jaehyun looked to his left and saw Johnny sitting on the chair next to the bed.

“What happened?” Jaehyun couldn’t remember anything.

“Alcohol poisoning. You’ve been sleeping for three days.”

Jaehyun closed his eyes. His stomach hurt.

“I didn’t see her in my dreams. I didn’t see anything in my dreams. Maybe-“

“Don’t you fucking dare finish that sentence.” Johnny hissed.

Johnny knew that Jaehyun thought that this was the only way to sleep without dreaming of you.

“But-“

“No fucking buts, god, Jaehyun. Don’t you see how much you are destroying yourself?!” Johnny said a little louder.

“I deserve this.” Jaehyun whispered.

“No! No one deserves something like this. Okay, we both know you did some dumb shit, but why don’t you talk to her? We both know that she won’t kill you. Grow the fuck up now and face the fucking truth.”

Johnny was right.

Jaehyun is a coward.

He’s fucking scared to make things worse if that’s even possible.

Facing you? How could he do that? He couldn’t even look in the mirror, how could you look at him?

“I know where she lives, Jaehyun. And I can’t keep watching you destroy yourself more and more. Please, go talk to her.”

Jaehyun knew that sooner or later he had to talk to you. He always chose later but things got worse and he needs to do something.

When you're running, who you run to? Where do you go to hide? When she ain't giving you enough to get you through the night Won't be caught up in the middle Of your highs and your lows Baby, 'long as you're not with me, you'll always be alone

Do you stay up late, just so you don't dream?

After Jaehyun was released from the hospital, it took him two days to knock on your door.

It’s been months since you saw Jaehyun and when you opened the door, he was the last person you expected to see.

It was silent for almost ten seconds.

Jaehyun’s legs felt like jelly and his eyes got teary. You looked so beautiful, you were glowing. You looked so much healthier and just happier. Jaehyun didn’t know what to say and was so nervous he almost turned around and ran away.

“Jaehyun?”

Oh, how he missed to hear his name coming from your mouth.

“H-Hi.”

Hi? Seriously Jaehyun?!, he thought.

“What are you doing here?” you asked.

Jaehyun tried to talk but he was so fucking scared of saying anything wrong that he didn’t talk.

“Jaehyun?” you said his name again.

“I-I wanted to talk… to you… if that’s okay…” Jaehyun scratched his neck awkwardly.

“You want to talk?” you asked, still in shock that he was standing right in front of you.

“Y-Yes.”

“What do you want to talk about?” you leaned against your door, arms crossed in front of your chest.

“U-Us?” he said unsure.

“There is no us though?” you said, raising an eyebrow.

“I mean, about y-you and me.” You never saw Jaehyun this nervous.

“What is there to talk about? Oh, congratulations by the way, I heard you got married.” You said sarcastically.

Jaehyun gulped, he looked at you and licked his dry lips. “I-“

“Was it the girl you cheated on me with? Or someone else?”

“Y-you knew?” he thought you didn’t know that he cheated.

“Of course I knew. You really thought I’m a dumb little girl?” you spat.

“N-No never it’s j-just-“

“What? A secret you never wanted me to find out? So tell me Jaehyun, did you marry her?”

Jaehyun looked down and nodded. “I-I’m sorry.” He whispered.

“Did you get her pregnant?” you asked.

“No! I mean, no no it wasn’t like that.” He shook his head.

“So you married her because you loved her?”

“Fuck, I don’t know why I did that, I-I thought that after you broke up that she was the one and I t-think I was scared that she’d leave me too s-so I married her.” He explained but you just laughed at him.

“W-We aren’t together anymore. We got a divorce five months after the wedding.”

“Is that supposed to make me feel better?”

“I just want to e-explain everything and… and I’m sorry. For everything. For everything I did and everything I didn’t do.”

“Come in. I don’t want to disturb my neighbors.” You really wanted to know why he did what he did.

Jaehyun smiled as you let him in.

He looked around your apartment and saw many pictures of you and your friends and family. When he looked at your couch, he saw a little cat sleeping.

“You have a cat?”

“Yes, cats don’t hurt people like humans do.”

Ouch, Jaehyun felt a pang in his chest.

“You can speak.” You said ignoring the look on his face.

“I met her when I was out with the boys, a-and I was drunk and next thing I knew I was in her b-bed and I-I couldn’t stop. I just couldn’t stop a-and we were together for so long I thought I needed something… new. It went like this for a year and then your broke up with me and I know that you had every right to do that after how I treated you. I kept the affair a secret because I couldn’t break up with you. I loved you and I wanted to have a family with you, you were my everything b-but I felt like I was stuck with you forever. We were dating for years a-and I needed something new, but I couldn’t let you go. I couldn’t stop either. I-I thought I’d stop seeing her one day and we would get married but I-I…” Jaehyun hid his face in his hands as he told you everything. “I-I didn’t want to lose you but in the end you still left me a-and I didn’t want to be alone so I married her and I swear to god I hate myself so much for doing that to you. I hate myself so much for hurting you like that.” He sobbed.

You didn’t say a word.

“T-There’s no one like you. Nobody is enough for me, they’re not y-you and I feel so, so fucking alone without you. My heart hurts and I can’t sleep. I don’t know what to do anymore. I need you so much, I miss you a-and I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I can’t believe I-I lost someone as perfect and rare as y-you. I love you so much.” He whimpered.

He wiped his tears with the back of his hand and looked at you. Jaehyun’s eyes were bloodshot red and his lips were trembling, just like his hands.

You didn’t know what to say or to do or to think.

“Jaehyun, look. This, all of this is confusing me. And I really don’t know what you want me to say. You broke every promise, my trust, and my heart. You have no idea what I went through. You have absolutely no idea how hurt and broken I was. You’re suffering? You’re missing me? You’re crying because you are sad? How would you feel If you were me. How would you feel If I did that to you? Hm? This is not a game, this is real life, and you made your decisions. Jaehyun, you chose to hurt me. You chose to cheat on me and you chose to marry her. This had nothing to do with me. I loved you. I waited for you and I was always there for you.” Your voice was calm and you didn’t feel the need to cry but Jaehyun on the other hand was still crying and hating himself even more after he heard your words.

Jaehyun stepped closer to you but you didn’t move away and you looked down to the floor.

“D-Do you hate me?” He whispered.

“No.”

“So you still l-love me.” He hoped you did.

“No… Jaehyun-” you looked up with empty eyes.

This hurt Jaehyun even more. You felt nothing for him. Nothing.

“I love you, Y/n. And I will always love you. P-Please don’t let go of your love for me. Please love me, please- Y/n- please love me again. I can’t live a life without you. I can’t- I just can’t move on. I’ve been trying- I’ve really been trying to move on but it’s impossible. My heart screams for you and only you. I’m sorry, I’m so fucking sorry.” He hugged you tightly and you just let him, you didn’t know what else to do. “Please y/n. One last chance please. Y-You know what? L-Let’s get married. Right now. Marry me, Y/n. We’ve been waiting so long to get married, let’s do it now- please Y/n- marry me. Be my forever- please.” He cried out.

“Jae-“

“No, please no, just think about it. Just you and me. Forever. You and me forever that’s all I want. I’m ready y/n. I’m ready to spend eternity with you please give me one last chance to make things right. Please let me fix this and let me love you again.” Jaehyun cried his heart out as you slowly caressed his back.

“I-I know you still love me. D-deep inside you still love me. We’re meant to be together. Please give me a chance to show you how much I love you. Please marry me.”

“Jaehyun we can’t get married just like that.” You told him.

“B-but,” he let go off you to look at you, his face inches from yours, “So y-you still love me, right?” he looked hopefully at you.

“Jaehyun t-this isn’t as easy as you want this to be! I-I don’t trust you, I don’t know what you want me to say. Let’s forget everything and start over? It’s not working like that, relationships are more than just I love you’s! It took me so long to get back on feet, it took me so long to accept that you did this to us. I always blamed myself, I thought I did something wrong but it was always you. You’re the reason this relationship or whatever that was ended. So, I can’t just get back with you after everything I’ve been through. Not… Not like this.” Maybe it was time for you to cry, too. Tears fell down your eyes, you couldn’t hold them back anymore.

Remembering the pain you felt, the betrayal you felt and how miserable you were, hurt you.

“Jaehyun I was so fucking hurt y-you have no idea, I just wanted to die and n-never wake up.” You were the one sobbing now.

Your body stopped working and you fell in his arms. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” You heard him say.

“The love of my life married someone else, Jaehyun. You married someone else b-because you d-didn’t want to marry me… You didn’t w-want to marry me. You didn’t want me- y-you didn’t want me.” You repeated the last sentence over and over again and it felt like a knife was stabbed in his heart every time you said that.

Jaehyun held you in his arms as you were both sitting on the floor. This time he caressed your back and tried to clam you down. You bawled your eyes out and you hate to admit that, but you felt safe. You felt safe in Jaehyun’s arms.

“Y-You never l-loved me…” you whimpered.

“T-That’s not true, I always loved you. Do you remember the first time we met? You fell on your butt because we crushed into each other and ever since, I had this huge crush on you and when I asked you to be my girlfriend and you said yes, I was ready to fight the universe for you.”

“B-But y-you didn’t. You fought against m-me.”

If Jaehyun’s heart could break again, it would. He didn’t say anything, he couldn’t. He hates himself, how could he make you feel that way? How could he hurt you so much? How could he break you like this?

Jaehyun wished he could turn back time and change everything. But that was impossible. All he could do was do the right things now, it was his last chance to have a perfect future with you.

“Please. One chance, all I need is one last chance to show you how much I love you. Let me fix this, please. Please let me treat you like how you deserve to be treated. Let me love you until my last day on earth.”

“I-I’m so scared, J-Jaehyun. So scared.” You whispered.

“Don’t be scared. I can’t lose you again- I won’t lose you again. I love you. I’m so in love with you.” Jaehyun pressed you against his chest and kissed your temple.

You looked up to him. His face so close to yours after months. It felt surreal, you couldn’t believe that it was really him, holding you so tightly because he was so scared that you’d slip away.

He wiped your tears with his thumb and leaned in. You closed your eyes and let him, after so many months, kiss you with his soft and warm lips. You could feel how much he longed for you just with a simple kiss. You could taste both of your salty tears in the kiss and neither of you stopped crying.

Allowing Jaehyun back in your life didn’t change anything about you. You were still confident and strong, and you could be confident and strong with Jaehyun, too. Jaehyun would never dare to take that away from you. He would never dare to hurt you and make you feel small or vulnerable. Jaehyun loves you and you slowly let him back into your life. Your breakup with Jaehyun helped you so much, no matter how much you suffered and how hurt you were. You learned how to love yourself and how important it is to put yourself first and that is something you’d never learn if you hadn’t gone through the breakup.

Feel me Feel me Feel me

#jaehyun angst #jung jaehyun #jaehyun scenarios #nct jaehyun #nct127 #nct jaehyun angst #nct angst #nct127 angst #jaehyun x you #jaehyun x reader #jaehyun smut #nct imagines #nct scenarios #nct songfic

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sehunniepotwrites · 3 years

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crazier | jh.s

THE JUKEBOX COLLECTION crazier by taylor swift

you lift my feet off the ground you spin me around you make me crazier, crazier feels like i’m fallin’ and i i’m lost in your eyes you make me crazier, crazier, crazier

when a friend of yours said they found your perfect match, you were hesitant to take them up on their offer. blind dates weren’t your thing; they never were after your many failed dates. no one could ever match your energy or vibes but somehow, he did.

johnny, with his sharp brown eyes and kind smile, found his way to you at a time when you weren’t looking for anyone. you had long accepted your status as the single person of the friend group and basked in the freedom it came with. you were in the middle of finding yourself when johnny opened the door to your heart.

you had met at a party, your mutual friends non-discreetly shoving you two together in the kitchen to talk. being the chill person he was, johnny was entertained by their actions and your unamused state.

“sorry about them,” you frowned as the man fixed you a drink. you took him in as he easily made his way through the kitchen, the tight shirt he wore highlighting all the right places.

maybe your eyes lingered a bit longer than usual because the next thing you knew, you heard a low chuckle escaping his plump lips. “don’t worry ‘bout it, i know how they are.”

“so, you’re johnny, huh? i guess it’s about time you met my crazy self,” you grinned at him as he handed you a drink.

“well, it’s a good thing i like crazy, isn’t it?” he laughed back, clinking your red plastic cups together before taking a swig.

it wasn’t all that hard to talk to johnny; his sweet personality drew you in as time went on. your instant connection went from exchanging numbers that night to grabbing brunch the next day. seeing as how you liked spending time with him drunk and sober, it was no surprise to see you and him attached at the hip with your friends smugly smirking in the background.

wasting your days away with the handsome stranger was easy but falling for him was even easier. it was effortless because you knew that no matter whatever life threw at you, johnny would be there to catch you in his arms.

on days where nothing could take you away from the negative thoughts, johnny was there to open your eyes to all that was good in the world. he lifted you to new heights you didn’t know you could reach. he gave you wings when you believed you could not fly.

many compared him to the sun but you would have to disagree. the sun was often too bright and too blinding, it was hard to keep your eye on it. the sun was harsh and the boy was far form that.

johnny was the moon, so big and bright and beautiful, you didn’t dare look away. you couldn’t even if you tried for he was too enchanting. he was soft, comforting, and all sorts of brilliant.

people often tied the moon to madness and lunacy. you could honestly see why.

you were crazy, yes that was true, but you were crazier for johnny and whenever you were with him, the skies above were always blue.

#hohohoho i'm in major johnny feels rn #everyone that i talk to on a daily basis knows this #cznnet #neowritingsnet #nct scenario #nct 127 scenarios #nct fanfic #nct fluff #nct songfic #nct johnny #johnny suh #johnny x reader #johnny fluff #johnny scenarios #johnny fic #johnny imagines #the jukebox collection

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errrrrat · 3 years

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Summertime in Paris.

genre || fluff.

au || song au. - falling in love au.

word count || 254.

warnings || none.

Paris, 1999, Summer.

Renjun never thought you would look so pretty under Paris blue sky, with so many starts, but none of them shined as your smile.

But now he thought he could sleep just looking at your eyes.

Now he feels off when he isn't with you by his side, listening to your voice saying how good his ideas are. You made in only be able to thought about one thing, you.

All the painting, all the poems, everything was about you, he could stop thinking about you and the sensations you made him feel, everytime he was with you he felt like he didn't need anything else, not even his home, because you became his home, home is where you heart is, right?

And he gives the poem to you, while you're reading some vogue magazine in the middle of your friends big house, while the sunset makes its way thought the window letting you me emerged in golden hour light, and RenJun was a urge to paint the scenery.

Only you, only you could make him feel this way, only you could make him fall in love this way. Only you, only you could make his heart race.

You read the poem once, twice and jump out of your chair hugging the boy. When you realize what you done, you let him go just to be presented with his lips in yours, as the sun sets.

Summertime is meant to fall in love, and it's Summertime, so that's what he did.

#nct au #nct writing #nct scenarios #nct songfic #nct fanfic #nct x reader #renjun #nct imagines #nct dream writing #nct dream au

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rainverry · 5 years

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perfect

pairing: mark lee x female reader word count: 3.7k words genre: angst, songfic (perfect by one direction) warnings: cursing, suggestive scenes author’s note: hello there! this one shot is on my fanfiction but i’ve decided to turn it into a mark lee one shot because we all need a little bit of mark lee angst in our life.

Awkward. That is how you feel as you sit across from your date who downs the last of his drink. You toy with your already-empty glass, your eyes darting to the dance floor, to the ceiling, to the flashing lights, to anything but him.

"Do you want another drink?" your eyes snap to him when he asks suddenly. You nod silently, handing your glass over to him. You aren't thirsty, but anything to make the situation less awkward.

His figure becomes smaller and smaller as he walks to the bar to get another drink. You let out a grumble, wishing you're at home, watching romantic comedies while eating leftover pizza under the covers. But instead, you are on this awkward date with a stranger, courtesy of Jennie.

You know she is just looking out for you, since you weren't seeing anyone -- or that was what Jennie thought.

You were seeing someone. Or should you even call it that? Your thoughts drift to him, from his deep brown eyes that held the universe to his contagious laugh...

"I'll die if this plan fails," Mark chuckles, both of you slipping into the elevator. Thank God you're alone. "I've worked so hard on this plan for weeks."

"Weeks? You planned this elaborate prank for weeks?" you say jokingly.

"Oh please, he pranked me in the worst possible -- he put purple hair dye in my shampoo and my hair was the ugliest shade of purple for a week!" he grumbled. "He's going to pay for that."

When the elevator dings and the doors open, you ask quietly, "Room 210, right?"

"Right," he nods. He winks, "Don't fail me, baby."

Rolling your eyes fondly, you turn and look for Room 210, with him hot on your heels.

208...209... Aha! 210, you think to yourself. "Showtime." you say under your breath.

You give a frantic knock on the door, and Mark stands in front of you, the bucket of flour ready in his hands.

Soon, a messy bedhead peeks out of the room, and Mark immediately pours the bucket over his head, the white flour going all over.

"Hey! Who's that?" Johnny sounds enraged, his voice groggy and muffled by the bucket. Mark and you burst out laughing, clinging onto each other like there is no tomorrow.

"Revenge is sweet!" Mark chides, his beautiful eyes sparkling cheerfully.

You snap out of your thoughts when your date -- what was his name again? -- sits across from you again, handing you your drink.

"Here you go," he says almost curtly, and you accept the drink with a small "thank you".

Your date -- Doyoung, you remember now -- clears his throat, giving you a small smile, and you groan inwardly. Honestly, you are in no mood for conversation. It was already awkward between you two, and more conversation would lead to silence, which would make the situation even more awkward than it already is.

"How long have you known Jennie for?" he asks, taking a sip of his drink.

"For as long as I can remember," you shrug. "She's been with me through everything and all. She's my best friend."

"I can see that," Doyoung smiles, running a hand through his curly black hair.

"What about you?" you ask him rather unwillingly. "How do you know Jennie?"

"Oh, uh..." he chuckles nervously. "She's my ex."

You raise your eyebrows in surprise. If Jennie dated this guy, you would have known him. "Oh?"

"Yeah, but it ended in good terms, actually. We only dated for like a week." he answers, rubbing the back of his neck.

The silence again...

"Mark, you're going to get yourself arrested," you squeal, trying to ignore the fact that the boy beside you was driving at 120 kilometres per hour, and that the passenger seat window is wide open and cold wind is stinging your cheeks. You grip your seat belt tighter.

"No cops around here," he laughs. "Just the two of us, baby."

"Drive slower!" you cry over the deafening wind.

"No chance of that," he grins wolfishly, his dark brown eyes darting to you for a split second.

"If I die you've got blood on your hands," you sigh jokingly. He didn't say anything after that, and -- thankfully -- slowed down not long after. You fall into a comfortable silence, before you ask, "Where is our destination, exactly?"

He stares into your eyes again with those damn brown eyes. So piercing, so deep, it makes you melt. With a grin, he says, "Nowhere."

Your thoughts drift away when Doyoung's phone rings.

"Um," Doyoung looks at you sheepishly, "I have to take this."

You shrug, and he walks away to answer his call. You sigh deeply for the hundredth time that night. This might be the most disastrous date you've ever been on. You take a sip of your still-full drink, and your eyes dart all over the club, trying to find someone or something that could pass your time.

And that's when you see him.

You spit out your fruit punch when you see him. He's here. Here, in this club with you, after you two "broke up" merely two weeks ago.

There he is, leaning against the bar, a drink in hand, laughing with the bartender, his brown eyes sparkling as it always did when he laughed.

You take in his appearance. He is clad in a simple black shirt and jeans, his dark hair styled up a little different than usual, and a stubble had grown since the last time you saw him.

Oh my God. Oh my God. He looks so fucking good, your mind immediately goes to "I-is-potato" mode. You couldn't comprehend what's actually happening that you completely freeze up on the spot, the drink in your hand immediately forgotten.

"You know... we can't keep doing this," you say one day, the thin sheets of Mark's bed covering your bare body. Your breathing is still uneven as you stare dolefully at the ceiling.

"What do you mean?" he barely asks as he rolls over from laying on his stomach and ghosts his lips over yours, his hair falling into his eyes.

You slowly sit up, gently pushing him away. "I mean, is that..." you sigh, fear and dread seeping through to your bones at what you're about to say. There's no turning back now. "We have to stop seeing each other. I want to be in a serious relationship, and not just mess around."

He also gets up, a scowl etching his usually jaunty features. "You said you weren't looking for one," he growls lowly.

"Honestly? I've thought about it. And I've changed my mind. I want to be with someone who's serious about a relationship," you get up from his bed and start dressing yourself as quickly as you could. You ignore his piercing stare burning holes right through you.

"You mean throw away everything we've been together?" You can't help but look up to him when you hear him speak. He still has that frown on his face, his body still bare from the passion you shared a mere ten minutes ago.

"None of it was serious, it was just messing around, remember?" you quote him from a few months ago, tugging your pants up your legs. You finally look away from him, steadying yourself on his nightstand after your legs wobble slightly.

"Wait," you hear him scrambling to get his clothes as he pleads. "Stay." But you can't look at him. You can't.

You turn and walk away when you're done dressing. You close the door shut behind you as you step out, wiping away the tears that suddenly fall from your eyes. You're sure that it'll be the last time you'll ever see him again.

But here you are, in the same damn bar with him, while he laughs away at something someone tells him. Like he didn't break your heart a mere two weeks ago. Like you didn't leave your heart with him when you left that room that fateful day.

You try to crane your neck to see what he's doing when he steps out of your view, and you almost forget where you are until Doyoung's soft voice snaps you from your thoughts and brings you back to reality. And for a second, you forget that the man you're in love with is on the other side of the room.

"Hey, are you alright?" he asks with concern, his eyebrows knitting together ever so slightly.

Looking at his face, you decide that you're finally tired of lying to this guy, so you smile ruefully. Neither one of you wants to be here anyway. "Honestly, Doyoung, not really. I'm sorry that Jennie forced us both on this date."

His face is blank for a moment, and you're afraid that you've said the wrong thing. But then he cracks a smile at your bluntness. "I was afraid that you weren't feeling the same way."

You're about to reply, when the sound of a microphone being turned on and spoken into catches both your attention. Your eyes dart to the stage at the corner of the room, where a man is standing and speaking into the microphone. You decide to ignore what he's going to say, until you hear the last few words coming out of his mouth.

"So, with his original song 'Perfect', I present to you, Mark Lee!" the man says, and your eyes widen the size of saucers and your heart swells in your chest when you hear his name.

A song. He's going to sing a song.

He once told you he likes songwriting, but he does it as an occasional hobby and he hasn't written a full song or anything substantial yet. You didn't even know if he could string a few notes together to form something that could be called a song.

But an original song? With an instrumental, a melody? You know he plays the guitar, but imagining him composing a full song is so unusual, yet amazing.

Suddenly, Mark steps out from the darkness onto the brightly lit stage, and all of your thoughts about the song melt away. Seeing his breathtaking features under the lights made your heart flutter. God, the things this man does to you.

The crowd roars in excitement as he stands center stage, and there are even a few wolf whistles coming from some girls. You can't help but feel a twinge of jealousy at the fact that these girls would hear him sing only in a few moments, when he's admitted to you before that he's only sung in front a few people before, you included.

He flashes the crowd his killer grin that makes your heart beat so loud you could hear it in your ears.

"How's everyone doing tonight?" he yells into the microphone, earning him some cheers from the crowd.

You close your eyes at the sound of his voice. God, you missed it so much. It is so deep, soft, and smooth, that it makes the butterflies in your stomach feel like eagles.

"So, fun fact, this is actually the first song that I've ever written and composed by myself. It's a bit cheesy, but I hope you like it," Mark admits. "I dedicate this song to the girl I let get away too easily, even though I shouldn't have. She was the best thing that's ever happened to me. I miss her so damn much, and if you're somewhere in the audience listening, _______, I love you... and I always have."

The lights dim and the music slowly starts, and everyone starts swaying from side to side.

Everyone except for you.

"I might never be your knight in shining armour I might never be the one you take home to mother And I might never be the one who brings you flowers But I can be the one, be the one tonight"

His words echo in your head.

I love you... and I always have.

You feel a hand on your shoulder, and you know it's Doyoung.

"Hey, you know that guy?" he asks quietly, and you slowly nod.

"He's the one I was seeing before this," you tell him just as quietly, turning to see his face threaded with confusion.

"And... he loves you?" he questions.

"Yeah..." you pause before continuing. "And I love him."

"When I first saw you From across the room I could tell that you were curious, Oh, yeah Girl, I hope you're sure What you're looking for 'Cause I'm not good at making promises"

You can't help but close your eyes in regret when you hear those words. Those were the exact words he told you when you first met him. And you agreed to only mess around with him, before he took your heart and you fucked everything up.

"You... love him? Then why did you leave him?" Doyoung gasps in surprise.

"Because I... I didn't know he loved me back. And I wanted a serious relationship," you say, trying not to let your voice waver. Tears start pooling in your eyes. You want to scream, cry, laugh and sob at the same time. A thousand questions run through your mind, and the room starts spinning right in front of your eyes.

Why? Why didn't he stop you from leaving that day? Why didn't he tell you he loved you? Why did he take your heart and break it into a million pieces?

"But if you like causing trouble up in hotel rooms And if you like having secret little rendezvous If you like to do the things you know that we shouldn't do Then baby, I'm perfect Baby, I'm perfect for you And if you like midnight driving with the windows down And if you like going places we can't even pronounce If you like to do whatever you've been dreaming about Then baby, you're perfect Baby, you're perfect So let's start right now"

Even though the tears start falling, a smile creeps its way onto your face. You run a hand through your locks as all your memories with him come hitting you like a ton of bricks. He wrote the song about you two -- about your relationship, if you could even call it that.

"It looks like he really loves you, eh?" Doyoung says jokingly, and you laugh through your tears and wipe them away.

"I'm sorry I'm crying over my ex on what is supposed to be our date," you grin at him, trying to lighten the mood. You sniffle slightly, and he reaches in his pocket and hands you a tissue.

"You know what... what if we just be friends?" he offers, and you nod appreciatively.

"I think I'd like that."

"I might never be the hands you put your heart in Or the arms that hold you any time you want them But that don't mean that we can't live here in the moment 'Cause I can be the one you love from time to time

When I first saw you From across the room I could tell that you were curious, Oh, yeah Girl, I hope you're sure What you're looking for 'Cause I'm not good at making promises"

You close your eyes and enjoy his voice. Hearing him sing, about the both of you, brings out all the emotions you thought you had locked away in the back of your mind. You had only met him a few months ago, but it's crazy how those few months changed your entire life.

But if you like causing trouble up in hotel rooms And if you like having secret little rendezvous If you like to do the things you know that we shouldn't do Then baby, I'm perfect Baby, I'm perfect for you And if you like midnight driving with the windows down And if you like going places we can't even pronounce If you like to do whatever you've been dreaming about Then baby, you're perfect Baby, you're perfect So let's start right now

"He's got a huge talent there," Doyoung suddenly speaks up after being quiet for a while. "Singing, and songwriting. That's quite a dangerous combo. You're quite the lucky girl."

You smile inwardly, but you frown at Doyoung. "He and I are over, Doyoung," you say firmly, but you feel yourself cringe as you say those words.

"What? Even after you heard him say he's in love with you?" Doyoung raises his eyebrows.

"But... but what if he still only wants to mess around? What if he tells me he loves me but is seeing someone behind my back?" you cry out, your frown turning into a deep scowl. "What if... what if he hasn't changed at all?"

Even though you can tell he wants to reply, Doyoung falls silent upon hearing your words. And to be completely honest, you couldn't believe the words that came out of your mouth either. You would be lying if you told yourself that every inch of your body didn't ache for Mark for every second after that day two weeks ago.

And if you like cameras flashing every time we go out, Oh, yeah And if you're looking for someone to write your break-up songs about Baby, I'm perfect Baby, we're perfect

It is too much for you to listen anymore. You shake your head to get rid of all the thoughts clouding your head. The room is spinning again, and all of a sudden you feel claustrophobic in this dark, cramped and crowded club.

If you like causing trouble up in hotel rooms And if you like having secret little rendezvous If you like to do the things you know that we shouldn't do Then baby, I'm perfect Baby, I'm perfect for you And if you like midnight driving with the windows down And if you like going places we can't even pronounce If you like to do whatever you've been dreaming about Then baby, you're perfect Baby, you're perfect So let's start right now

Mark finally finishes singing, and the crowd roars and claps cheerfully, not helping with your growing headache. It takes a moment for you to get a hold of your surroundings before you tap Doyoung on the arm and he looks at you questioningly.

"I think I need some fresh air," you barely breathe out, and he nods understandingly.

You immediately sprint out of the club and into the alleyway beside it. Thankfully, it is deserted. But it is also dark and cold, and you curse yourself for wearing such a short dress and no jacket. You lean against the wall to hide yourself in the shadows in case any creeps or perverts see you here.

You slowly breathe in and breathe out, which is what you usually do whenever you get a headache. You close your eyes to gather your thoughts and do not notice the shadow at the end of the alleyway until it's too late.

"A pretty girl like you shouldn't be out here alone," a deep, familiar voice sends a chill down your spine, and you curse under your breath at the fact that you didn't really think straight before going out here. But you swear to not let his sexy voice deter you this time.

"I'm a grown woman, I can handle myself, thanks," you snap at him, not turning to look at him because you don't know what would happen if you do.

He stays quiet for a moment before piping up again. "You moved on quick," he tries to say casually, but you weren't born yesterday. You might have only known him for a few months, but you still remember the late nights he begged you to come over so he could bury his face in your neck and sob his heart out. You know he's trying to hide the pain in his voice.

"What does it matter to you?" you ask harshly.

Mark finally steps into view and you try to hold back a gasp when you see how amazing he looks. Seeing him on stage is nothing compared to seeing him up close, and it's driving you wild. He's wearing a jacket now, and his hands are tucked into the pockets of his jeans.

"It matters to me because I love you," Mark's tone softens.

"That's not what you said the last time I saw you," you seethe, determined to sound as cold as possible, but who are you kidding? He probably knows you as well as you know him. "And anyway, I'm happy with my new guy. You should leave me alone."

For a moment, he stands there unmoved, and you assume he would turn around and finally leave you. But in the next moment, you're suddenly pressed up against the wall, with his body on yours, and your arms pinned next to your head.

"What are you doing?" you ask him, intending for your tone to come out harsh, instead it's breathy and flustered.

"Why are you such a tease?" he growls lowly, peppering your neck with kisses. "Laughing and talking with your new boyfriend while I'm in the background singing the song I wrote for you."

"Mark, stop," you whimper, but you don't really mean it. He feels so good being pressed up against you. You didn't know how much you really missed him until you feel his lips against your skin. "What's between us, it's over."

"You know you want this," he whispers against your neck, and it takes all strength in your body to not let out a moan when he kisses your sweet spot. "You and I both know it."

"My date's in there," you lie weakly, getting lost in the haze of lust. "He--he's waiting for me."

"Fuck your date," he growls again. "You want me, and only me."

You do, you really do. But you refuse to let your heart get hurt.

"No, Mark," you shove him with all your might, and he stumbles back. "I want to be with him. I want to be with someone I know I can be with for the rest of my life. Someone who wouldn't sleep with me one day, and kiss someone else the next day."

"You really think I would do that?" he asks you, an emotion you couldn't decipher flashing in his eyes.

"Just stop, Mark! You don't know how much it kills me to be completely head-over-heels in love with you, but you don't feel the same way. To know that you will never be truly mine!" your voice cracks and you sob, tears finally falling from your eyes. His face softens and he gets closer to you, wiping away the tears on your cheeks with his thumb. He cups your face with his hands, looking into your eyes.

Before you know it, his lips connect with yours for a mind-blowing kiss. A kiss that shouldn't feel this good, but it is like your lips were made to kiss each other. A perfect match in heaven.

"Mark," you breathe as you pull away, unable to think properly. Your mind is in a blur, your thoughts all jumbled up in a haze. You stare into his soulful, piercing brown eyes, full of emotion.

"Shh," he whispers into your ear, snaking a strong arm around your waist. You feel so small, so little in front of him, but when he embraces you, your bodies mold together perfectly, as one. Like you were made for each other.

He presses his lips against yours again, and you wrap your arms around his neck, bringing him closer to you.

"I'm all yours," he says against your lips, and you imprint those words onto your mind.

He is yours.

And you are his.

#nct angst #mark angst #nct au #nct imagine #nct one shot #nct songfic #mark au #nct scenario #nct fluff #mark fluff #mark fic #nct fic #nct #nct u #nct 127 #mine #soulmate #*

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calliopewritings · 3 years

Text

only look at me

jaemin x genderneutral!reader

word count: 4.65k

you should’ve known. you mistook kindness for love.

warnings/tags: best friends to lovers (idiots to lovers), fluff, angst

songfic inspired by only - day6 !

Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful, beautiful, beautiful you

I love you

Wonderful, wonderful, wonderful, wonderful, wonderful you

I want you to know

My dedication to you

In this world

Perhaps you’re the one person

Who doesn’t know it

The amount of colour decorating the school hallways was almost hurting your eyes, several large “PROM!” signs plastered onto the walls, and decorative garlands across the ceilings. Your school really went all out for prom… and it wasn’t even prom night. In fact, prom wasn’t until next week, but the decorations couldn’t wait it seemed. Despite the excessive amounts of glitter stuck to any available surface, you found the corners of your mouth quirking up in fondness at the sight of several promposals being accepted.

It wasn’t like your heart was made of stone and it was nice to see everyone smiling. There’d been no disastrous prom-related events yet, and you hoped it’d stay that way - you much preferred the promposals with happy endings. You won’t lie and say you didn’t gag at the couple excessively making out in the hallway yesterday, after a sweet promposal, but you’d rather have some not-so-PG-13 action than you’d have people holding back tears as they make a run for the bathroom.

Grabbing some necessary books from your locker, you paid special attention to some students not far from you. The guy down the hallway, currently mid-promposal was in your Physics class, you knew him fairly well. When the girl accepted and pulled him in for an awkward - but sweet - hug, you smiled in relief. Must be nice, you thought.

You were shaken from your thoughts when you sensed a sudden presence leaning on the locker beside yours. “What’s got my beautiful angel smiling today?” leaning softly on the locker was your best friend, a cheeky smile on his face. You huffed out a breath “you need to cool it Jaemin, my urge to resort to violence grows every day.”

“Guess I’ll have to try harder.” He pushed off the lockers and offered his hand, “May I lead you to Social Studies, love?” With a shake of your head, you accepted his hand.

“Do you even listen?” He shrugged. “Your eyes say it all, baby,” he teased, pushing his face into yours, and your nose scrunched at the mere cheesiness. Your head told you it was stupid, he’d just delivered the most generic line ever, but your heartbeat picked up its’ pace and you couldn’t seem to calm it.

The thing with Jaemin was, he looked at you with what seemed like all the love in the universe, and honestly, you probably did the same with him. Problem was, you weren’t sure that meant anything, at least not to him. He had always been the flirty type, he often made moves on you, but they never meant anything, that was just how he was. Besides, he cared immensely for everyone. That was one of the things you admired about him, his ability to care so much, even for strangers. He was always putting other people ahead of himself. He looked at everyone with love, you were sure.

You turned your head to look at your best friend - he was already looking at you. Your eyes met his, and your breath hitched at the close proximity, eyes wide in surprise. You didn’t like it one bit. How your breath was ripped from your lungs whenever he came too close, or whenever you agreed to go to the arcade instead of doing homework, and he beamed that beautiful smile of his. You hated that he looked at you with stars in his eyes, and that he took your breath away, and that he held your hand whenever you’d stand next to each other. You hated it because you loved it so much. You loved him so much. But that also meant you could lose him, and you didn’t want to lose him - your best friend, your comfort, your Jaemin.

So you turned your head again, breaking the eye contact and picking up your pace, as you entered the classroom which you’d reached. Jaemin followed as you took a seat at the back, and he watched as you brought out your book and your colour-coded pens. You felt his gaze. He looked at you with love.

You always

Follow my gaze

With uncertainty in your eyes

Packing your notes back into your bag, you got ready to leave school for the day. You and Jaemin lived close to each other, so you always walked home together. At the cross-section where you had to part ways, he’d always give you at least two flying kisses and a not-very-threatening threat to text when you’d gotten home.

You knew his last lesson of the day was Math, so you went in the direction of his classroom to find him. As you were about to round a corner, you recognised the voice of your best friend speaking. Under normal circumstances, you’d keep walking, but his words made you stop dead in your tracks.

“Will you go to prom with me?”

Heart in your throat, you dared to sneak a peek at the scene. One second was all you needed, you knew the girl. She was in your Literature class - Jieun - very sweet, caring, fun. You’d never heard a single bad thing uttered about her. You were sure they would look good together, no doubt she’d treat him well. You wanted him to find someone who would treat him well.

So then, why was your vision slowly blurring?

However, it wasn’t the person he asked that caught your attention, it was the way he looked at her. He looked at her with love. You should’ve known. You mistook kindness for love. You left in a hurry.

Baby, you are my only love

My love is not two

There is only one

So no need to worry, love

I wish you could entrust yourself to my love

And only look at me

“I’ll message you later, then?” You walked side by side with your new partner for the literature assignment. You managed to discuss it a bit as you made your way to the cafeteria. “Sounds good, Jieun,” you agreed, and the girl smiled back at you with an enthusiastic nod of her head.

You spotted Jaemin at your table, out of the corner of your eye, and just as Jieun was about to part from you and go to her friends, you placed a hesitant hand on her arm. “Uh, do you- do you maybe want to join us for lunch? I-I mean Jaemin and I?” and immediately feared her answer. It was already clear to you, the way she’d be smiling at him, and he’d smile back at her, and it would be sickeningly cute. Maybe he’d hold her hand - he usually held yours - and they’d share food - he always gave you the sweets on the side “they’re almost as sweet as you” he’d add - they’d make a good couple…

To your surprise, Jieun gave a shake of her head, smile still bright, “It’s okay, I won’t disrupt the two of you. Besides, one of my friends owes me lunch.” And then she was off, hurrying towards her own table. Perplexed, but relieved, you went to take a seat with Jaemin, who greeted you with a big smile.

You finished your lunch faster than usual. His heart eyes were becoming increasingly suffocating to you.

As you and Jaemin got up and started walking to the next class, you were stopped by someone behind you. “I-I’m sorry but-” the guy looked a little nervous as his eyes flickered between you and Jaemin, and rested for a while on your linked hands. Then he took a deep breath in and looked straight into your eyes. “Y/n, can I talk to you for a second?” Your brows furrowed in slight confusion - Jaemin’s hand tightened around yours.

The guy’s pleading eyes bore into yours and you could tell he was nervous about something. Letting go of your best friend’s hand, you gave him a small smile, “Go ahead, I’ll be right there,” you assured, and he hesitantly left in the direction of the classroom.

You focused your attention on the stranger in front of you. “How can I help you?” you asked, a small smile on your lips. He nervously shifted his weight, “You probably don’t know me, and uh- uh we don’t have any classes together, but… I- uh- I’ve seen you around and I think you seem really nice so…-” he visibly gulped and your brows furrowed even further. When he spoke again, he did it so quickly you barely registered it, “WouldYouMaybeWantToBeMyDateForProm?” and he ended it with a nervous chuckle.

It took you a couple of seconds to register it fully - and then you felt awful. You didn’t want to reject the guy, he seemed sweet. What if he cries? You couldn’t do that to him, no way. But then… you also couldn’t accept. It wouldn’t be fair to him - not when you knew who you’d be thinking of on prom night.

You looked into his shaking eyes and forced the words out of your mouth.

“I’m sorry, but… I’m not really looking for a prom date,” you told him. It wasn’t really a lie. Well only partly at least. You were in fact looking for a prom date, but only if he went by the name of Na Jaemin.

He gave sad smile in return. “Ah, that’s okay. Honestly, I was kind of expecting this outcome,” he rubbed his neck anxiously as his eyes flickered back and forth. Then he cleared his throat, “But hey! If you find yourself in need of a dance partner at prom, feel free to approach me.” You let out a small chuckle, “Of course,” you assured, and his eyes lit up, the sad smile from before dissipating.

When you settled next to Jaemin in class, he looked a little distraught. You linked your pinky finger with his, which was resting on the desk, and gave him a curious look. “Everything okay?” He merely gave a tight smile in return and turned his attention to the teacher who’d just entered. With a small frown, you did the same and directed your attention to the board. However, your mind was on your best friend. Maybe something was wrong…

You tapped his hand with your pinky and you saw his eyes flitting to you. “Want to go to the arcade today?” you offered, hoping to cheer him up, and it seemed to work. His gaze was once again on you and the corners of his mouth lifted a little. His eyes filled with love. You didn’t mind this time, you just didn’t want to see him down. You wanted him to keep looking at you like that.

Why would I look at some else?

When the person right in front of me

Is the most beautiful being

In the entire world

It was raining, and it was raining hard. You’d just gotten up to leave for the day when the rain started violently pouring from above. Umbrella in hand, you rushed to get to the gym hall where Jaemin would be. It was located away from the rest of the building, to get there you’d have to run through the rain, which was fine for you - you had the umbrella. However, Jaemin did not have an umbrella. He’d given his own to someone else that very morning when the rain has been light, as he noticed they were trying to shield their face from the rain with their hands. With no umbrella, he’d merely snuggled under yours and you’d shared.

You and Jaemin usually met at the front gate, and you had no doubt that, despite his lack of shield against the harsh rain, he’d run outside just to get to your meeting spot. So you ran for the gym hall. Luckily, your teacher let you off a couple of minutes before class ended, so you hoped you’d be able to reach him before he stupidly walked into the rain and caught a cold.

You got there just in time - he was just about to step into the rain when you reached him. He looked surprised to see you there and rested a comforting hand on your shoulder as you put your hands on your knees and caught your breath. “Y/n? Did you run here?” You huffed out a small “Yes,” as you regained your posture, having caught your breath. He sent an amused smile your way and you sent a bright one in return. His smile took away your breath, just as it always did, but you were just happy to have gotten there in time.

You opened up the umbrella you’d carried, and he stepped under it with you.

“Thanks, Angel.” You turned your head to see him still smiling at you. He looked at you with love. His hair stuck lightly to his forehead, probably from showering after PE, but the rain had wet his skin slightly as well. Quite simply, he looked ethereal to you (he always did though). Your breath caught again, and your heart sped up like crazy as you took in the sight of your best friend. You looked at him with love too.

You also know in your heart

That I can’t lie

I think you feel my sincerity

A squeal pierced through your ears and you grimaced at the sound. Your friend, Sooyoung, grabbed you by the shoulders, shaking you lightly. “You look just dashing! Want to get married?” with a chuckle you gestured for her to turn around, “Just let me zip you up, silly.”

Prom night arrived quicker than expected - to be honest, you’d been fearing it a bit. You didn’t want to worry about Jieun and Jaemin slow dancing, gazing lovingly at each other, which is why you made Sooyoung promise to not leave your side.

You zipped up her dress and she immediately sat the two of you down on the bed. “Do you want me to rig the votes? I can make you and Jaemin win?” you noted that she sounded a bit too excited at the prospect and quickly denied. “No way! He’s there with Jieun!”

Your friend let out a sigh and went to put on her earrings, “If you say so Y/n. Just let me know if you need anything, I’m not opposed to crime either, you know.” With a chuckle, you threw a nearby pillow at the girl, “Don’t make me an accomplice when you actually commit a crime one day, Sooyoung.” She merely smiled at your remark and threw the pillow right back at you. “But that’s what friends are for!” And she pulled you into a hug which had you both toppling over on her bed.

At least you’d have Sooyoung by your side tonight - someone to take your mind of Jaemin and Jieun and the way they’d look perfect next to each other. Maybe their parents are taking cute photos of them right now… Maybe they’ll be leaving in Jaemin’s car soon… Maybe she’ll sit in the passenger seat, which is usually reserved for you. At least she’s sweet. She’ll be so good to him. She’ll look at him with love. That’s good… Right?

I have no thoughts of sharing this love

With anyone other than you

I am ready only for you

The over-the-top decorations in the hallways were clearly just a small appetiser to the real deal because the school gym hall was absolutely stuffed with decorations and - though the amount of glitter that adorned the room made you fear you might choke and die on it - you were stunned at how pretty it was. Tables filled with snack and drinks placed on your left, Sooyoung on your right. She nudged you with her elbow, “Let’s pillage the snack table,” and then she was pulling you by the hand with newfound animosity in her eyes.

After half an hour by the snacks, you were able to convince Sooyoung she’d stolen enough already. “I could’ve fit at least three more mini pizzas in there, you know, and those are heavenly the day after,” she complained, and you gave her arm a weak slap. “I’ll buy you as many mini pizzas as you want, as long as you stop stuffing them in your bag,” you assured her, and she turned you to look at her, pinky in the air. “Pinky promise?” With a nod and an amused smile, you linked your finger with hers. “Pinky promise.”

Distraught by Sooyoung, you didn’t notice Jaemin and Jieun talking nearby, nor did you notice his eyes on you the entire time.

With Sooyoung in the bathroom, you’d sat down at a vacant table to relax a bit. You jumped in your seat, startled, when you felt a hand on your shoulder. Whipping your head to see who the owner of the hand was, you were surprised to see Jaemin standing there with a sheepish smile. “Care for a dance?” He offered his hand to you. Slightly stunned, you slowly took his hand and got up. Is it wrong? He was there with someone else after all. Where is Jieun?

He led you to the dance floor and gingerly placed his hands on your waist as he pulled you closer. Once again, your breath hitched at the proximity but you didn’t dare to make eye contact. Uncertain hands snaked around his neck and settled there. “How’s your night so far?” he asked with a smile as he made you do a small twirl. The twirl caught you off guard, and you found yourself smiling at the unexpected move. “It’s been good. Apprehended a criminal earlier,” you replied, and he chuckled. “Yeah, I noticed Sooyoung’s not-so-subtle theft.”

As the song slowly came to an end, you couldn’t take his gaze on you anymore. “Don’t look at me like that,” you told him - harsher than you intended, but just as you were about to apologise, his face inched closer to yours. “Like what?” he teased. You didn’t respond - not verbally at least. Your body was screaming at you, responding in almost every way possible. You merely turned your head to the side. His gaze, which you barely caught out of the corner of your eye, turned from teasing to worried. “Angel?” You hummed in acknowledgement, and he let out a sigh. “Want to get out of here?” he offered, and you turned to face him again, head tilted in confusion. What about Jieun? “What-What about your date?” you asked, incredulous, and you’d never seen your best friend look so perplexed. “I don’t have a date?”

Your heart twisted in stupid hope, and you tried to stop it. He doesn’t have a date? How? Where is Jieun anyway? You searched the room for said girl, but couldn’t spot her anywhere. Did she reject him? No way, right? With a million thoughts floating through your head, your best friend shook you back to reality, and you noticed his curious eyes on you.

“You really don’t have a date?” you asked again, and he shook his head. “Ok then,” you gave a nod. “Let’s go.”

You expected him to smile and lead you out then, but you could tell he was now battling something in his head. Mouth opening and closing, he asked a hesitant question. “What about yours?” Your head tilted in confusion again. “My… what?”

“Your date.” He said as if it were obvious, and you let out a noise of confusion. “I don’t have a date either. Why would I have a date? Who would even be my date?” you spluttered, flabbergasted at his assumption. Jaemin looked just as surprised as you did, completely frozen it seemed. He slowly regathered his wits again, and took a hold of your hand, “Well, let’s go then.”

Don’t worry

This love is yours

There is no one else for me but you

Hold onto me tightly with both hands

And please don’t let go, you

You entered Jaemin’s car, taking your usual spot in the passenger seat. Jaemin never drove to school but sometimes he’d stop by your house and insist you join him for a trip to the beach. Countless hours were spent in the passenger seat of his car - on sunny days, with the radio on, and full hearts.

He started the car and rolled onto the road, you knew exactly where he was going. Your town had a secluded hillside - like one from a horror movie, where the kids get murdered, except this one was beautiful and safe and it reminded you of Jaemin. He first took you there, when someone at school had thrown their drink at you because you refused to do their homework for them. You didn’t want to see anyone that day, so Jaemin took you to the hillside and assured you no one would disturb you there. Back then, he didn’t have the car, you were kids, so he’d grabbed you by the hand and started the 15-minute walk… That was many years ago.

“Why don’t you have a date?” he asked, and you turned to look at him. His eyes were on the road. You let out a small giggle at the question. “What do you mean?” You noticed his lips slowly turning into a pout. You knew he wasn’t aware of the cute pout forming on his face - you took your time admiring him.

“I just- That guy… That day in the hallway. I was sure he’d ask you out,” he told you, and you unconsciously bit your lip. “Yeah, he did,” you admitted, and his head turned to you for a quick second, before flitting back to the road.

“Then why-”

“I didn’t really know him,” you told him. Again, technically not a lie. He slowly nodded in understanding. He pulled onto a more secluded road, and you knew you were nearing the destination.

“What about you?” You turned to look at him, “Why don’t you have a date?” His mouth opened as if to speak, but he closed it again. You decided to speak up then instead, “To be honest, I overheard you one day in the hallway,” you told him, and his face contorted in confusion. “I heard you ask out Jieun, Jaemin.” The car was silent for a moment, you waited for him to speak up. “I’m sorry, I really didn’t mean to listen in on it. I don’t know why you two are not here together, but whatever the reason is, you should know that anyone would be a fool to reject you and-”

“You think I wanted to bring Jieun to prom?” he asked, incredulous, as the car came to a stop at the destination. Perplexed, you looked at your friend, “Why else would you ask her?”

You saw him hesitate for a second, before he stepped out of the car, and walked to the viewpoint. You followed him.

“I was practising asking someone else out,” he told you, with a blush slowly spreading across his cheeks, and looked at your best friend in slight wonder. “You looked at her very fondly though,” you shrugged, and focused your attention on the city below you. You sensed his eyes on you.

“Why would I look at someone else, when the person right in front of me, is the most beautiful?”

One second. Two seconds. You lost count. Did he- Did he say that to you? No one else is here. No way. You turned to catch the gaze of your best friend - your breath hitched and your heart beat so loud you couldn’t hear anything else. He looked at you with so much love, he always did. So why does it seem different now? You never wanted him to stop. You caught his eyes flickering - to your eyes, your nose, your cheeks, your lips - as if he were trying to read you. He was nervous.

“J-Jaemi-”

“I can’t think straight with you,” he interrupted. The world spun a little faster around you. “Angel, you are my only love. There is no one else for me but you. I thought I made it obvious, but- perhaps you’re the one person who doesn’t know it,” he let out a soft chuckle, and it tugged on your heartstrings and warmed your cheeks. Your hands itched to reach out and hold his, but you stayed put.

“Jieun offered to help me practice. I was practising asking you out.” His eyes settled on the ground, head low, he looked like a child being scolded. “I’m sorry if you don’t feel the same. I- uh- I just wanted you to know, you know?” he softly kicked a rock on the ground as he rubbed his neck anxiously. You could do nothing but stare at him in adoration - you’d never seen your best friend like this before. You should’ve known. You mistook love for kindness.

“Even if you- If you don’t feel the same, I’ll always be here for you… If you want…” and his eyes slowly looked up to meet yours. Questioning gaze boring into yours. You weren’t sure how you were looking at him, but perhaps it didn’t quite radiate the overwhelming warmth he’d caused all over your body, because he seemed embarrassed, stuttering out another apology. “I-I’m sorry, I’ll give you some space, I shouldn’t have-” but you didn’t let him finish his sentence. Instead, you gave in, and let your hands reach out to grab his, as you used the grip to pull him closer to you. When your chest pressed against his, you heard his breath hitch - you weren’t sure how long you’d been holding your own. Your arms wrapped around his waist as you hugged him tightly.

“The last thing I want from you is space,” you told him honestly, and pulled back to look him in the eyes. His eyes were still a pool of uncertainty, and you realised your response hadn’t cleared up your feelings very well. Though you had to wonder if he couldn’t feel your heart beating wildly against his own. You placed a gentle hand on his cheek, hoping to bring the nervous boy some comfort, and then you kissed him.

The kiss was slow, but sure, and the moment your lips met, you felt him exhale into the kiss. His arms relaxed around you, and his nervousness faded bit by bit. Letting the hand that wasn’t caressing his cheek, pull him closer by the neck, you deepened the kiss. You didn’t want to part ways until you’d made sure there would be no space to doubt, just how much you loved him back. In turn, his arms tightened around your waist and you were pulled flush against him.

You wanted to keep going, to shower him with kisses, but you couldn’t help your happy giggle, and he soon followed. With lovestruck smiles on your faces, you both pulled back, foreheads resting against each other. “My love is yours, Jaemin, all yours.”

He let out a boyish giggle and hugged you tighter. “My angel is all mine,” he teased with a cheeky smile and you fake gagged at his antics. He only smiled brighter as he brought you in for a kiss. When you pulled away, you caught his gaze. You looked at each other with love.

I got only one love

Not two

For you

I got only one love

Just the one

I got only one love

Not two

For you

I wish you could entrust yourself to my love

And only look at me

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